#it'll be longer than the actual show was at some point damn

[clear-what-i-was-seeing]

my hannibal playlist is 376 songs help

[elanorpam]

it's been way too long since i last did wildly self-indulgent fanart, so of course i did it for an SVSSS AU that doesn't even have any actual fanfiction written of it yet. but what can i say! it's a compelling scenario! Just check the original post for details!

here's a workplace doodle for his mess of an outfit, too:

Xin Mo is floating behind his back, wrapped in talismans. the collars are meant to be vaguely inspired on a flower bud.

Some notes i came up with for this version, copied straight from a month-old discord convo:

he may have protagonist halo now, but he's for sure not a stallion protagonist. he literally exchanged fates with his favorite person in the world in order to spare them a hellish trial-- that's romantic as fuck!! damn!! this is old CLAMP shoujo and no mistake!!

binghe may no longer be the protag, but he's still a half-heavenly demon. power-wise, heavenly demons can't be topped, and all the remaining heavenly demons are accounted for. so, SQQ can't be a heavenly demon, even in part.

HOWEVER, as a protagonist, there's a factor more important than power! it's the CHUUNI FACTOR. what's more CHUUNI™️ than being part demon?

one option is being part demon and part angel.

how would that even fucking work??????? IDK man, you can either pull from chinese folklore for fairies or heavenly beings or spirits, or you can blame Airplane and go "he accidentally implied the existence of christian elements by means of importing unexamined anime tropes"

Shen Jiu conveniently has a big fat blank on his parentage. We as fans can and have put whatever the hell we wanted there.

SQQ would jump into the abyss still under the impression SJ was a shallow villain. If his trip through the abyss involves recovering SJ's memories somehow, that sure would be fun times, huh?

so he awakens a mysterious ancestry and survives the abyss and takes Xin Mo, but he probably takes longer than Binghe did due to being squishier.

but Xin Mo isn't ACTUALLY his! so he papers it over with sealing talismans, and to battle the temptation to wield it he takes to wearing these longass sleeves. they're probably covered in talismans as well.

guessing Xiu Ya stayed behind to be mooned over by the clown trio in Cang Qiong. let's go full sparkle-sue here and say he's now fighting almost entirely via musical cultivation. i like swan-necked konghou harps so let's go with that, it'll look dope.

why is he barefoot? why WOULDN'T he be, is the question. fragile!! suffering!! dainty!! he's a shrinking flower, tormented by the weight of the One Sword To Rule Them All!!

also for extra pathos, his constant mental struggle against Xin Mo means he can't spare energy to front. it takes constant focus! he's still a bit in his delusional shit, but even when he's going "oh no, binghe is only latched throat-deep onto my dick because he's a good boy who's concerned about me and the danger i could pose by losing control" he'd probably… well, he'd probably say that out loud to anyone who asked. he's in a half-trance, mentally battling the crazy-making sword. lying is too much work.

Wouldn’t resisting Xin Mo’s influence be the mental and spiritual equivalent to training under 400x gravity or something? his wife-beam is going to be off the charts when he puts it down.

also also: who the hell dressed him like that? fucking shang qinghua, of course, after SQQ showed up in the northern palace to punish MBJ for hurting binghe in the conference. did the system explain shit to SQH? on the one hand, extremely funny if it updates him on the role change out of nowhere mid-alliance. on the other hand, extremely funny if he only finds out because Binghe is crying safely in Qing Jing while the scum villain apparently jumped into the abyss.

Here's another link to the original AU post! I've had it open on a tab all this time just so i could point to it when I was done, so make sure to check it out!

[linksqueerawakening]

Miscellaneous LU Headcanons

Four doesn't cast a shadow. when questioned, they flatly state "it died" and refuse to elaborate. if pushed on the matter, they become more and more irritated, while still refusing to elaborate

Time always knows what time it is. you could wake him up in the middle of the night and before he's even fully opened his eyes he could tell you the time without having to even think about it

Hyrule has the most magic, but Legend knows the most magical theory, followed closely by Time

Warriors, Legend, and Four are the only members of the chain who are actually legit monarchists. like the others are pretty much neutral on the concept (tho Wild doesn't like how flora was treated with all the expectations and lack of freedom, but that's another matter entirely than being of the opinion that monarchy is inherently bad), they're fine with monarchy. they just don't have strong opinions one way or another, so long as the current holder of power isn't corrupt. meanwhile Four Legend and Warriors would probably fight you if you insinuated that hyrule's monarchy should be abolished

Legend and Fable are twins but it's a secret. and also due to Fable getting kidnapped and transformed in various worlds in some of their adventures, they're no longer the same age; Legend is 19, she's 16 or 17. they still look very similar so they used the excuse that they're cousins on their father's side

Legend used to want to be a knight very very badly when he grew up, because his uncle who raised him was a knight. the knights who were controlled and attacked him during Link to the Past were pretty much all trusted adults that he knew and admired. he stopped wanting to be a knight after that

Wild may be the best cook when they have good ingredients, but when the chain is down to the wire and they need to make every little bit count? Hyrules horrible concoctions are actually the best option. he can't make it taste good but he can make it keep you alive when there are no other options

Wind is the best at navigating without a map or compass due to his experiences on ships - he would rather have the tools, but he's pretty damn good at managing without

Four has a habit of referring to themselves with "we/us" pronouns ever since they were split and then reformed with the four sword. the other heroes don't know why, but sort of shrugged and started using "they/them" pronouns bc it seemed polite. Four is mostly unaware that they do this - green picked up on it but hasn't pointed it out to the rest of four bc he knows it'll make them stress, and it clearly hasn't caused any issues

Twilight is disarmingly charismatic but only when he's not trying. if he's talking to someone casually or even somewhat irritably, they tend to be completely taken by him, but if he's actively trying to be smooth it just comes across as awkward

Sky is the most mild mannered person you've ever met until you cross certain lines, at which point it's like a switch flips and he's so pissed that even the other heroes hesitate to deal with him

Discounting the hundred years in which Wild was unconscious, Warriors had the longest single adventure, with the war of eras lasting about 7 years. Legend's six adventures altogether may have lasted longer, but they were split up into multiple parts, not one long quest

Wild takes pictures of pretty much everything they can to show Flora whenever they're back home, because they know how much she wants to learn about the ancient past, like their species, their societies, and their magic

[theduosetter]

Maybe we should just try

"Hey."

"Hi."

Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck, as he held a red plastic cup in his hand. "H-how has your first year been going so far?"

"I-Its been going." You answered awkwardly. "I heard you should wait until your second year to see if you'll actually make it through."

"Yeah, that's what Bokuto said to me when homework was kicking my ass." He chuckled lightly.

"But you're still good at science right?" You pointed it out. "I mean you always managed to ace all those tests in high school."

"Well believe it or not my brain sometimes can't handle too much of it. Compared to high school, here they through everything at you without warning."

"I mean it's the first time we go to college. So yeah... it's bound to be rough."

His shoulders started to relax slowly, his body didn't feel as stiff as it first was. He hoped that you felt the same way.

"I um heard you joined a sports team?" He asked.

"Oh yeah!" You exclaimed forgetting about the awkwardness that surrounded you two a second ago. "I was accepted to be part of the team after going through a second try out."

"That's... that's amazing." Kuroo sadly smiled knowing he wasn't able to be part of that moment. "What sport did you end up joining?"

"Volleyball." You smiled. "After seeing you and the team play I wanted to give it s try. I'm by not an expert of any sort of course! I-I still have a long way to go. But I knew it wouldn't hurt to at least give it a chance."

"There's no reason to think like that. I think it's cool that you wanted to join. I'm sure you'll end up liking it a lot more than just watching on the side lines."

"I know it'll be rough that training and all." A chuckle escaped your lips as you could already imagine yourself serving. "But I think my fear is not being able to serve properly more than anything else."

He chuckled. "I'm sure whatever serve you end up going with will be fine. Serves are powerful yes, although they're not the only thing important in a game."

"Well knowing what Lev had to go through it's hard not to worry. Yaku and Kenma put him in so many training exercises to be able to serve good."

"I completely forgot about that." He laughed, feeling happy for the first time since he arrived at the party. "Oh my god Lev used to complain so damn much at everything thing. And poor Kenma was annoyed whenever he couldn't get it right especially when Coach Nekomata paired him up with Lev."

You nodded laughing as well remembering the good times.

"Kenma wanted to literally hide!" You exclaimed. "One time he begged me to hide him in my locker just to not spend another moment with him. I felt so bad for Lev knowing all he wanted to do was get better at volleyball."

Kuroo wiped a tear away from his eye, his smile widened the longer he spend time with you.

"I swear he never failed to piss Yaku off."

"But in the end it paid off it seems." You sighed smiling small. "I haven't talked to Lev or Kenma in a while, I miss them."

"Kenma is busy with work and Lev well he apparently got upgraded to team captain."

Your eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Coach said he had gotten better and apparently he's good at giving the team confidence. He decided to give it a shot and see how he does."

"I'm so happy for him!" You pouted. "I wish I could have been there when he had gotten the news. He must have been so proud of himself when he received his jersey."

"He was I was able to go actually. I got some pictures of him, do you want to see?"

You nodded happily. "Can I please? I wanna see him."

Kuroo took out his phone and stood next to you, leaning in closer as your forearms came in contact with one another. He quickly went to his pictures and held his phone in front of you.

"Here's one." He said swiping it to the left and showing you Lev holding up his jersey, smiling happily.

"No freaking way," you mumbled. "Did he grow freaking taller?!"

"Believe it or not he's two centimeters taller than me." He answered irritated. "Now he brags about it so much."

"That's not fair he keeps growing and I keep getting shorter."

He smiled to himself as he swiped to the left again, "I think you're the perfect height."

Your face turned red hearing his compliment. You didn't know if he had realized what he said and was playing it off as if it was nothing.

"Yaku went as well. Some of them were able to make it but everyone else was too busy. Kenma went but only for a short while since he had to work."

"I miss them." You frowned. "It sucks not being able to see them everyday like I used to."

"They miss you too you know." He put his phone away and turned to look at you. "They kept asking me when you'll go and visit them again. Lev thinks you replaced him with someone else."

"I could never." You said looking at the ground, "Even after what happened... they'll always be my boys. As much as I meet knew people I can't ever forget them."

"What about me?"

You stopped breathing. You couldn't wrap your mind around his question, it had been such a long time that you forgot how he made you feel.

He closed his eyes tightly feeling regret washing over him for asking you such a personal question that bad no business being asked. "I'm sorry- you don't have to answer that-"

"I did."

Opening his eyes he looked down at you, noticing how much you had changed physically. The short hair you once had was now long, but the face he loved greeting everyday with kiss was the same. Your beautiful eyes were still there, shining bright like they always did whenever light hit them.

Kuroo waited for you to continue making sure not to pressure you.

"That day we broke up." You explained bitting your lip, preventing the tears from falling. "I couldn't function without you... without the routine we had built together for two years. I was devastated, I didn't want to wake up knowing my life was now missing a piece."

Your body was about to give out and he could tell you were trying to hold yourself together like you always did whenever a problem occurred.

"I kept asking myself what went wrong but I couldn't find an answer." With glossy eyes you tilted your head up to look at him. "If I'm being honest I wanted you back, Kuroo. I wanted to go back to you, to fight for what didn't deserve to end."

"Why didn't you?" He softly spoke.

Looking off to the side you sniffled. "Because maybe it was meant for it to happen."

"I didn't want it to happen." A sigh escaped from his lips looking down at his feet. "I wanted to make sure it lasted between us, I saw you as my future. I loved you even if I was too young to know what love was... with you it just felt right."

"Then why did it have to end?" You questioned hoping for an answer but at the same time you didn't want to know.

"Because I was an idiot who got their ego too high up to realize what he had." His hands turned into fists. "I didn't see how good I had it. I never meant to hurt you but I did. I was a fool thinking I would be find without you but I was lying to myself."

"I was in pain Kuroo... why the hell did you do that to me?"

He didn't have answer because truth be told he did not know himself either. All he knew was that he missed you every single day.

"I don't know." He whispered. "I wish I never hurt you, you didn't deserve to go through that. Not when you were nothing but supportive to me and understood my busy schedule even when I ended up cancelling dinner plans because something had come up. I didn't mean to hurt you... and I-I know I can keep saying it every time and not have you believe me but I am-" A sob got caught in his throat as his vision became blurry. "I'm so sorry..."

"I'm sorry." He repeated again, as tears escaped one by one not caring who saw him. "I'm sorry for everything."

In all your years he never failed to show you how he felt. He was never one to hide his emotions, it had been so long since you seen that.

It always pained you whenever he cried about not feeling good enough for the team or whenever his insecurities got the best of him. All you wanted was to take the pain away because you loved him.

Even now that's how you still felt.

You looked off to the side closing your eyes and letting the tears fall. "I love you still so damn much Kuroo..." You confessed. "I shouldn't have feelings for the person who hurt me but I do, I'm mad at myself that I still do when you don't deserve it."

The music became muffled noise for the two of you, people kept passing by you not noticing the situation. You were thankful the lights were dimmed down low.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "I know you deserved to move on but I love you. I have then and I still do now even more so than I ever thought I could."

"I don't know I can ever believe you again."

"I understand... I don't blame you nor would hold it against you for not giving me another chance when I know I shouldn't be asking for one." He reached out holding your chin in his hand and turning your head slowly to look at him. "But I wanted to let you know how I felt... I didn't want to hide it anymore."

"Kuroo..." You whispered, seeing those eyes you had fallen deeply for.

"And if you come to the conclusion that you don't want to give me a chance then I'm happy looking at you from afar." He sadly smiled, "At least I know I was able to have one last moment with you, tonight."

Slowly you reached out placing your hand over his. "I miss you so much..."

"I miss you too princess."

It was wrong to still love someone that caused you pain. Everything in your body yelled at you to stop and step away before you regret it again.

But you couldn't follow what your mind was saying. It was impossible.

The two of you looked at one another, not pulling away from each other. Your eyes slowly shifted down to his lips as he reciprocated your moves as well. Slowly you leaned in at the same time, stopping each second you got closer to make sure both of you agreed.

As you were a centimeter away from touching his lips he spoke. "Are you sure? I don't want you to regret anything..." He whispered.

"I've been waiting for almost a year for a sign to push me towards you." You said. "I have one now... I don't want to waste it any longer."

His heart started to beat rapidly as your lips finally met. Your chest was filled with so many emotions. Everything you had felt and wished for was put into this one kiss. Kuroo couldn't be happier that he had the person he had loved for such a long time.

He moved his hand and held the side of your face as he rested his other hand on your waist, tugging you closer. You placed your hand on his chest to hold yourself steady as your head got dizzy.

It felt like your skin was on fire and you couldn't be happier.

Kuroo couldn't get enough of you and you couldn't get enough of him. You wanted to get closer enough to feel him, to remember what it felt like to be held in his arms.

All those days spend away from one another made you feel crazy for one another.

Maybe it wouldn't work in the end and you were probably wasting your time again.

But you didn't care, neither of you did.

There's nothing anyone could say or do to change your minds now.

Pulling away you both breathed heavily against one another, a smile dancing on each other's lips.

"God I forgot how good it felt like to kiss you again." Kuroo mumbled pecking your lips.

You blushed resting your forehead against his.

"Me either."

✩ ── Masterlist ✩ ── 

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 28

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Ever since I woke up, I've been staring at her as if it were the last time I'll be able to, trying to memorize each one of the corners in her face from up close. It's as if I were aware that all of this could come to an end. 

And it honestly makes sense when I think about what happened last night. One of the rules that kept us tied together and exclusive is out the window, and I'm genuinely hoping she doesn't bring it up anytime soon so I can fool myself into thinking that we could be more than just fuckbuddies, and that all of this wasn't a tricky way to keep her by myself, while settling her away from others. 

I'm better at hiding my inner thoughts than her, because it's obvious she's overthinking something by the way her eyes look out of focus while we have breakfast.

—Okay —I finally sigh—. What's going on?

—What do you mean?

—You're making that face —I point to her furrowed eyebrows.

—What's with this face? It's my face.

—Yes, when you're thinking about something else —I squint my eyes. 

I could keep trying to guess what could be going through her head right now, but I know that it'll be useless. As much as she sometimes seems like an open book, she can be a big mystery. 

—Okay, mentalist —she cuts me off—. I was thinking about when I should be leaving.

—It's not that —I shake my head—. Is it about last night? Did something bother you?

I've been so deep into the thought of having to part ways with her that I didn't even think about that possibility.

What if she's now regretting what happened? She was so sensitive after coming back from home, that maybe she felt like she wanted to do it at that moment, but now that it all has already passed, she's thought things through...

—No, everything about last night was great.

That tiny smile assures me she actually means those words, trying to hide it while bending her head onwards.

—It's about the deal —she finally admits.

—Oh, that.

Oh, shit.

I try to keep my focus on my cereal, making my best, as much as I can, not to panic only at the mention of it. I thought it'd take her longer than this, I thought I'd have some time to process it all, but instead she brought it up as soon as possible. 

—What do you want to discuss?

—The last rule —I keep eating, knowing damn well that if I focus on her, I won't be able to think straight—. You know, the one about us not being able to see more people.

—What about it? —I frown. 

—Well, I know that rule was only because I was a virgin and you wanted to be the first one, but I'm not a virgin anymore.

—I know —I nod—. And just like we agreed, that rule won't exist from now on.

I sigh, while I'm banging my head against a well somewhere in the back of my brain. I know I'm being a douche right now, but if I ever show her how much I actually care about it, or if I show the slightless emotion about this topic, she'll use it against me. And I know that I'll be following whatever she says, because it's what I want as well. 

—So you want us to meet new people?

—No, I want you to meet new people.

I need to take a deep breath, and get myself together, before daring to look at her while discussing this. 

—You need to hang out with other guys, go on dates, get to know someone else...

I fucking meant it. Jungkook, you want her to be happy.

—What if I don't want to?

—Y/n, it's the best for you. You need to get out there, have options to choose from aside from me.

—Options to choose from? —she repeats, unbelieving of what I'm telling her— I already chose.

—You didn't choose. You couldn't ever choose because it was only me all this time —I pinch my nose—. All I'm saying is...

—Bullshit. All you're saying is bullshit —she doesn't let me continue—. So you're invalidating what I might want only because it started with a deal? —she stands up all of a sudden— It's easier if you just tell me you don't feel the same way.

And that's when I almost lose myself to her. Desperate because I don't want her to leave, losing the focus of the whole conversation when I see the pain in her eyes. 

—I like you, I do —I take a deep breath before I'm able to continue—. And I care for you. That's exactly why I need you to do this.

I stand up, trying to reach her arm in a way to calm her down, but she steps back and moves her arm away from my touch, leaving my hand hanging in the air. 

—You didn't choose me, this whole deal forced you to choose me —I try to remain calm—. I chose you out of a lot of options, and you chose me because there was no one else. Do you see the difference?

Would she have chosen me if the perfect guy had had the opportunity to get on with her? If I hadn't kept her from having dates and getting to meet other people in a deeper way?

—Why does it matter? —the cracks in her voice almost make me stumble and stop this whole thing— I'm not telling you to get married tomorrow, I'm just saying... —she gulps hard, looking away for one fast second— You can't just tell me to go out and meet other guys now.

But you should.

—So what? Do I go, date someone at ten and run to you past one? That's what you want me to do?

I'm trying to reach her touch again, but she steps back another time, daggers coming out of her eyes with every step I take in her direction. 

—I'm just doing it for you.

—For me or for you? —she attacks me— This sounds like an easy escape. Having me around, and if things don't work out, it won't be your problem, because I will potentially have somebody else on the side to deal with your mess. Is it?

And I wish I could tell her it's not what she thinks it is. Because, if it were for me, I'd keep her by my side for as long as possible. But this isn't the way I want this. Because the mere thought of her waking up one day, and realizing that she's been wasting time with me, that she could've chosen someone else instead, is killing me. 

I don't want to live something like that again. 

My eyes drop to the ground when I'm aware of the teardrops that are starting to form. And I know that I won't be able to keep up with my act if I see her crying. 

—And when you change your mind, should I just mold to it and be okay with you changing rules just because you're jealous?

I stay in silence, and if I'm honest, I don't really know what I'm waiting for or what I want to do right now. At least I don't until I hear her picking up all of her things, carrying it all to the door. I try to stop her, surrounding her elbow with my fingers, but she only turns to me with angry eyes. 

—Will you also choose whether I should stay or leave? —she gets off my grip.

If I had any say, I definitely wouldn't let her leave.

But I never say that, I just nod. Letting go of her, I slowly step back and allow her to leave. 

✸ ✸ ✸

Maybe it's because I'm fucked up mentally, maybe I'm just a little bit too drunk, maybe I'm hurt by the way I made Y/n feel when she left earlier this morning, but I'm unable to keep my focus on anything Taehyung is saying right now. And he makes sure to call me out for it, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. 

—I know hearing me talk about my dramas with one of my suppliers is boring, compared to the adventures you live on your day to day as a tattoo artist, but it won't kill you to at least pretend that you care.

—Sorry —that's all that I'm able to say—. My mind is somewhere else.

—That's for sure —he supports his body on his elbows—. Did Leslie bother you again? That crazy b... —he sighs— He won't leave you alone. What part of "No" does she not understand, huh? I think it's a quite simple word. No, I don't want you, get off my face and go back to fucking others.

—It's not about her —I cut off his rant before it gets worse.

—It's not? —he looks at me confused.

I shake my head, taking a small sip from my drink while looking away. I genuinely don't want to talk about it, but at the same time I feel like it'd do me good to let all my thoughts go for a few minutes.

—What is it, then? 

—Y/n.

Tae parts his lips and nods, as if he were finally able to understand what I look so fucked up right now.

—I don't really know what to do —I scratch my nape—. I have no fucking idea of what I'm supposed to be doing. I wanted to protect her and look after her, but I do seem like the villain of the story.

—Unless you give me a little context, it'll be difficult for me to help.

I look up at him, and he's right. I'm being way too vague to actually get any kind of help from him. But honestly, it's probably because I'm not sure whether I want to mention the deal or not. it was such a lame move from my side, that I'm embarrassed to admit it out loud.

But it's Tae who I'm talking to. I don't think it'd be too wrong to actually talk about it. I could keep some details to myself, so it'll only be what Y/n would be comfortable sharing -obviously, leaving out everything that has gone down the last few days.

I proceed to tell him about the deal, how it all started, how we both met, and how she's made me insanely crazy for her even if I thought she never would. I tell him how it kept going further even if I tried to avoid it. And while giving every single explanation, I'm unable to tell what 's going through his head while he looks at me that way. Maybe his mind is just blank, or maybe he's just trying to piece together every part of the story, but I still think he's judging me somehow, keeping those hurtful words to himself because he knows I'm already having a hard time by myself. 

—Why the fuck did you tell her to meet other people?

That's the first thing he says after I'm finished, and we stay in silence for a few seconds. He pinches his temples, looking away before he's back on me again.

—You like that girl. You’re crazy for her. Yet you throw her to other guys' arms? —he has the exact same expression Y/n had this morning— It makes no sense. I understand you don't want to commit to anyone after what happened with Leslie, but that excuse is fucking lame. And I don't blame her for not buying it —he stops, just to scoff before he's back at it again—. You're an adult, Jungkook. You should have...

—I didn't want to live the same thing that happened with Areum —I finally admit.

The mention of her name suddenly makes Taehyung stop talking. The look he throws at me completely changes, from judging me to feeling compassionate about it, as if that trip back in the past made it make sense. 

—Y/n is genuinely a good person, she deserves to choose, she deserves to be happy with the person she wants to, even if that person isn't me —I go on—. I just don't want her to wake up one day and realize I kept her from doing what she wanted to, I don't want her to feel like I've been a burden to her.

She's had enough in her life, and I don't want to be an added problem to her that could keep her from living her life.

—What happened with Areum... —Tae starts.

—It was my fault —I admit.

[celestialsister0918]

Chapter 2, "Someone's Dirty Bathwater"

Jackson Lamb x fem!OC, Slow Horses

Rated 18+ for later chapters.

If you have time to show some love on AO3 or want to bookmark for later, head here! :)

Adelaide throws the rubbish in the giant bin outside of Slough House and hops into her car. That interaction was certainly something.

She does not understand at all how smelly, greasy old Jackson Lamb, King of the Fuckups, had her so horny right now. Attraction is a very mysterious thing. Perhaps she likes the challenge? Or maybe she likes the way he spoke to her. Maybe a little degradation is sexy? At any rate, she knows nothing can happen until he learns the most basic of hygiene. She wasn’t asking for him to clean up like a prince, but some Pears soap and a bit of attention under the nails might be nice. As it stood right now, he would finger her into needing a double round of antibiotics.

She has dreams about him that night. He wasn’t really doing anything in the dreams. Just repeatedly pulling his pants up over his belly and glowering at her with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He looked like a caricature in a comedy. She should have woken up laughing at the absurdity. But she actually wakes up with a damn tingling between her legs and an excitement to start her day. What the actual hell?

That morning, when Lamb appears in the Slough House office, unshaven and unshowered, he's surprised to see such a glow on her face. In fact, Lamb is surprised at the brightness all round. The office is clean. Spotless. But more importantly, it smells a lot nicer than usual. Even with him in it.

“Good morning,” Adelaide says brightly. “I decided to start at 6 instead of 8. Ho took a break from his game to let me in. Apparently he gets here and games with people overseas before everyone else reports to work.”

“Does he now?” Lamb huffs, but he’s too distracted to give that tip too much thought. He looks around at the office, which now gleams in the morning light. It was like she was trying to piss him off. "You’ve been pretty busy, I see."

“I have,” she agrees, taking steps toward her pile of belongings in the corner. “And I brought a few things for you as well.”

The thought of this woman doing something nice for him was starting to irritate him a little. "A few things? What kind of things?"

She drags a carpet bag up on the table like a fucking sunshine-bubbly Mary Poppins.

“For starters— chocolate croissants. Something tells me the way to your heart is through your stomach. Assuming you have one. A heart, that is. But if we’re going to spend a month around one another, I’m determined to at least make you pleasant.”

Lamb is stunned into silence by her generosity. No one has done anything this considerate for him in… longer than he could remember. She thinks this is the way to his heart? That it'll be some kind of chink in his armor? This girl must be crazy. Insane. But the thought of those chocolate croissants and the scent of the accompanying freshly brewed coffee has him considering how it might be possible to like her, even if just long enough to eat.

“And here we have…”

She takes items out of the bag one by one: a bar of soap, body wash labeled “blood orange and spice,” anti-dandruff clarifying shampoo, deodorant, Nivea, and some concoction called “Moroccan neroli” aftershave. She also sets out nail clippers and a file. A fucking nail file!

That girl is out of her mind - a nail file? But he’s beginning to see the effort she’s making. This girl's really thinking out of the box. This could be the best way to get to him. She is getting to him, that much was certain. "Well, well… how fucking considerate,” he mutters. That was all he could manage for the moment.

“So I won’t be able to work in the washroom today, then? Because you’ll be occupying it?” she asks pointedly.

Lamb laughs, enjoying the sparring– the sense of them working each other to their breaking point. "Oh God, I guess you won't. I guess I'll be doing my personal grooming right here. On the office table. In full view of everyone."

“They might buy tickets,” Adelaide laughs.

"I can see it already,” he drolls. “Long queues outside the office. Tipping their hats from every direction. All to see that distinguished silver fox take the most refreshing shower of his career. You'd think I was bloody Brad Pitt for the way everybody’s going to be staring at me.”

She seems pleased with herself. “I bet you’ll clean up quite nicely. Then you can take me out for a drink after work.”

“Oh? And why would I want to do that?" he demands. "This isn't a date, is it?"

She shakes her head. “Of course not. It’s a drink.”

"Oh, so there’s no expectation of anything romantic in any way whatsoever?" He stares hard, a gleam in his eye.

She looks away briefly. “I don’t get the sense that you’re the romantic type.”

"Oh, you think you've got the measure of me, do you?” he says in a surly voice. “You think that I don't know how to treat a lady?" He moves slightly closer to her, so close she can smell the hint of chocolate croissants on his breath and feel the heat of that breath hitting her skin.

She appraises him with a raised eyebrow, leaning back slightly at the waist but not actually stepping away. “I’m not sure, to be honest.”

Lamb closes the gap between them again. He’s so close now she can see grey flecks in his blue eyes. Close enough to kiss her….

Close enough to kiss her deeply and passionately, if that’s what she wants. And then he remembers... the smell. The smell of his breath, his clothes. And the fact she’s so very young. No. She can't actually like him like this. Can she?

Adelaide tightens her jaw and doesn’t breathe. She’s very attracted to him carnally, but her nose is still unfortunately fully functional. And it’s betraying her more forgiving body parts.

Lamb can tell he's got her on the hook. He's been able to read women since before he could read at all. Women tend to find him irresistible, even in the midst of his worst moments. Of course they didn’t like to show it; they preferred to banter and fight. But he knew. And this girl was no exception.

Just to prove it to her, he takes the cigarette out of his mouth, takes a last drag, and crushes it out in the ashtray next to her. And then he leans in toward her and whispers in her ear, "Let me know what time you're free tonight, and I'll remove any mystery.” Before she can say anything in response, he leans his head slightly back and smiles smugly.

“I’ll feel comfortable leaving around 5:00,” she finally replies. “I should be able to tackle a few of the other desks by then.”

“So then you'll be free at... say seven?" He's trying his damndest to sound nonchalant. 

She laughs. “You’re giving me two whole hours to go home and get dolled up for you? Do you think this is a date or something?”

"Yes," he answers flatly. "It is a date, and there's nothing you can do about it but prepare to have your wet knickers seduced right onto the floor."

She laughs out loud at this. “You’re pulling my leg.”

"I might do that later, too,” he remarks. “You can deny it all you like, but the truth is, you're already going to dress up for me, and we both know it. Even if it's only for dinner, there's still an element of courtship taking place. Or, if you prefer, seduction. And I'm telling you now, I'm going to seduce you. There's nothing you can do to stop me.”

She blinks again, biting her thumbnail in amusement. “We shall see then, won’t we? You might want to start on that bath. You only have 11 hours.”

"Oh, that's plenty of time,” Jackson assures her. “And remember, you might find that you like what you see when I'm clean. After all, you haven't experienced the unadulterated essence of Lamb yet."

Adelaide’s face feels like it might burst with the effort to hold back her giggles. “Is that something you share with women often? Your essence?”

"Women love my essence." Lamb's tone is playful, confident. He's got her hooked. "And you're no exception - you'll love it too. Once you get a taste, there won't be another guy you'd even consider. I'm going to ruin you."

Now she’s really chomping on her nail. He’s got her fascinated. It’s like he actually understands the disconnect between his appearance and the power he has over the female sex. Though she’s sure 99% of women would never admit it, and would therefore never spread their legs for him. She’s quite interested to find out just how much experience he’s actually had.

"The other men in your life will pale into insignificance,” he continues, taking a seat that nearly sends the rolling chair crashing into the wall. “They won't be able to compare to me. Once our lips meet, I'll make you crave me for the rest of your life, even when I'm not around. I'll be the one you have wet dreams about. The one you picture when you're trying to get turned on. The one whose face you imagine at your most private moments..."

She squirms and darts toward a feather duster, going to work. She simply can’t take it anymore. For one thing, she didn’t bring a change of knickers. And as he’d predicted, these were quickly becoming uncomfortable.

Lamb smiles to himself as he watches the girl squirm. She can't pretend to ignore him, even with a duster in her hand. Even now, she's pretending to clean, when they both know she's thinking about more lascivious things. The woman is a tease, but it's obvious she has a plan. She's playing hard to get.

About that time, River Cartwright pokes his head in with nervous eyes.

Lamb doesn’t even look over. He’s never surprised by the interruption of ineptitude. 

“Um…” Cartwright begins.

“What do you want, Cartwright?” Lamb still doesn’t take his eyes off the girl.

“You told me to bring your car around and wait for you. That was 30 minutes ago,” Cartwright reminds him.

Lamb looks across to Cartwright, and his demeanor suddenly changes. He goes from arrogant playboy to irritable, annoyed chief in seconds. And it's all for show. He doesn't want Cartwright thinking he's been flirting with a girl, even if he’d actually rather be flirting with a girl. "Get my car to the front. I'll be down in a minute."

Cartwright disappears, and Adelaide shakes her head with a “tsk tsk.” “So you’re out in the field today? Time’s really ticking on that bath. I bet you’ll show up at 7 tonight looking just like you do now. Only with maybe a few extra stains from lunch.”

"Oh, I'm sure the stains won't be a problem for you." His tone is smug again. He knows he's already got her under his spell. And there she is, biting her nail, again.

“As a matter of fact it will,” she snaps back. “No bath, no drink.”

"Are you telling me you'd actually turn me down if I was still dirty?” he asks incredulously. “It's not like you're the epitome of cleanliness. That nail is getting shorter by the minute, you know."

“I’m dirty from cleaning decades of muck up from this shithole,” she says with rolled eyes. “Believe me, I pretty-up quite a bit before I go out for drinks.”

He props his feet up on his desk, revealing a big toe poking through an undoubtedly putrid old sock. "So you're saying you're planning to get washed and ready tonight for your hot date?” he teases her. “That's good to know."

“You’ll take one whiff and wish you could drown in me,” she promises.

"Is that a challenge?" Lamb raises an eyebrow, as the girl is clearly trying to flirt with him now. He can practically hear her heartbeat through the air between them.

“A challenge on who will smell the best? Or a challenge not to drown in me?” she clarifies.

"Either one," Lamb grins, enjoying this. It's good to flirt again. The girl is attractive– beyond attractive. And witty enough to keep him from boredom. “I guess both."

She grins back. “River Cartwright’s waiting.”

Lamb's face hardens abruptly. "Fuck River Cartwright. He's still there?"

She laughs, aghast. “In your car, Lamb. Christ, you’re really slipping, aren’t you?”

"No I'm not,” he insists. “He's... he's..." It's hard to think clearly. The girl has thrown him off his usual game. He's finding her extremely distracting. And to have something like a bath waiting for him at the end of the day is just unbearable. This girl might be the end of him.

She's looking at me with those big innocent eyes. She's biting her lip again. And that nail is almost gnawed all the way down to the knuckle . 

She's going to make him lose focus, and it's driving him mad.

“Go to work, Lamb. I’ll see you somewhere at 7. Where are we drinking?”

"Anywhere's good. What about the Gristle?" It's a nearby pub he knows she'll like. It's dark and moody - and it has a billiard table - but he also knows it'll cost about £20 to get into the place with his stink. At least he'll probably be able to get her to pay for the first round.

She shrugs. “Sounds fine. I’ll see you then. If I recognize you, of course.”

"You might remember me as the guy with all the charisma, whom you had a long, suggestive conversation with earlier,” muses Lamb. “The guy you're almost definitely going to sleep with later."

Adelaide snorts. “You’d be so lucky.”

He winks. "Oh, I don't think it's me that'll be the lucky one. I think you might even think I'm a little bit handsome after a couple of drinks. Though you might not admit that."

She crosses her arms defiantly. “I would say I’m eager to find out how you think I look after two drinks, but you could probably tell me that right now. I’m assuming you’ve already imbibed this morning?”

He slaps the desk and stands. "You're damn right I've imbibed this morning. I drank enough to make your knees shake and your tongue curl. I'm going to need a bath just to sober up.”

“Bath— good. Work also good. Go find River.”

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don't give me any more orders or we'll forget that date altogether."

She laughs lightly. “Yes, sir.”

"Don’t suck up to me, buttercup. I've already got the date. Besides… if we’re playing that game, I think I’d fancy ‘Master’ or ‘Daddy’... anything other than Sir. You’re not one of these lame fuckups around here, so don’t refer to me like you’re one. Got it?"

She blushes a deep red at this but says nothing, simply waiting for him to go off to the field.

Lamb gives a little smirk, which makes her blush even harder. Then he looks her up and down. He enjoys the way she blushes. "I expect to see you tonight, then?" he demands.

She nods. “7. The Gristle. We’ll both clean up.”

"No need for you to clean up. I'll enjoy you either way." Lamb doesn't care how it sounds. This girl is going to get what she asks for, and then he's going to have what he wants too. There'd be no need to clean anything up, as far as he's concerned. But he's not going to say that to her face; he’ll just string her along thinking she’s won… for now.

[winterswhite]

One thing I've been talking about for a while that's entirely a personal gripe I have with the game is A3's event system and how draining it's gotten to play events. I had a little conversation earlier about the game's income declining over the years and I do honestly believe that and the decrease in player counts in recent events are largely because of the event system. I don't think the game's income has decreased enough for us to be worried about it shutting down though so I'm not talking about that and I don't wanna hear anything about it either. I've dealt with games shutting down before and I know the signs.

Anyway. Event system. It feels like they keep adding event types that cater to whales (PR events are super expensive, and the new Spotlight events are similar with the 2.7mil SSR+ reward and the redistributed SSR rewards from points vs ranking). The main issue I have, which as far as I'm aware I'm not alone on, is how damn hard it is to get finales in events, which is only worsened by the increased SP cap now that we have more to spend in one go after being away from the game for a bit or ranking up. In my own experience, it's easy to go 30+ minutes without getting a single finale and not everyone has the time or patience for that? I know I don't. People have other things to do and can't always be using their phones or playing games on them, and even if you just leave the game on auto while you do those other things, you'll still have to check on it for shows, and it'll still drain your phone's battery.

Other tap tap games I've played have some sort of safety net to avoid problems like that, like enstars basic guaranteeing you at least one rare live per event lesson, and while it's no longer active, On Air used to let you stack up to four event recordings at a time so if you let the game play itself for a while, you could come back and ideally at least one of those would be a 3☆ recording. Other games have similar guarantees or rate-ups or just...anything to make the event experience less of a pain. All we have in A3 is...one guaranteed show per practice, and that's, more often than not, a matinee or soiree.

On top of that, this is probably just me, but I feel like practices in A3 go really slow, both with auto and without, and the auto-cancellation of specific show types is just as slow. That makes it feel like each practice takes forever, which really doesn't help (again, I've gone 45 minutes without a finale on more than one occasion).

I'm really just complaining but...I wish they'd make some kind of tweak or improvement to the event system. They only need to change one of these things to make the event experience exponentially better, whether it's by increasing finale rates, adding a guarantee of some sort, or speeding practices up. It's...not a big request to make, I think? But it'd make things so much easier for me and a lot of others who I know struggle to play the game anymore because of how draining it is.

I know gacha companies aren't our friends, but we have jobs or school or other things in our lives to deal with and waiting half an hour for a single finale just isn't worth it in the middle of all that. It's actively harming their revenue too, so it'd really be in their best interest to change things a little. I still love A3 and I want to keep reading and translating the stories and other content because nothing can replace this story and these characters in my heart, but it'd be nice if I could be as enthusiastic about the actual gameplay aspect.

[dethkomic]

Writin’ Comics and Junk: Part 2 - Let's Break Down a Story!

Welcome, my favorite goofballs, to another edition of Dethkomic talks way too damn much about how to write and stuff.

Before we begin --

Next update to Dethkomic will hit the internets on Friday, March 17th. It'll be another 6-page update to wrap-up this chapter and issue #5 will officially be in the books!

Okay... now onto our really big show!

We're going to get into the meat of how I actually compose the scripts for Dethkomic, this time. I think it might be easiest if I did a sort of "deconstruction" on the first Dethkomic. Therefore, if you are reading this and happen to not have finished Dethkomic I and do not wish to be spoiled -- I suggest coming back after you're through with it. :)

Everyone good? Okay then! First thing's first -- How did I get the idea for Dethkomic's first... dethkomic?

The simple answer is, I cheated and used an old fanfic I wrote. The longer answer is, I wanted to have a story I could point people to, if they wanted to be introduced to my characters. I wanted it to be heavy on the action and drama (because these are the types of stories I like to read, myself. See last entry). I wanted it to establish the relationships between my characters and the canon cast (duh. It's fanfiction). And lastly but perhaps most importantly, I wanted it to establish an interesting world I could add on to with other stories, as the mood struck, while simultaneously being *enough* of a story on its own if I never ended up doing that.

The long and short of it is, I wanted to do Dethkomic to be a hobby story. No cares about hitting a deadline. No worries about profiting from it. No real reason to give a hoot if nobody liked it, actually. I was writing for me.

And here we are..!

Part 1: Roughing Out an Idea

Once you've got a general idea of the type of story you're writing, roughing out the plot is kinda like sculpting. You start with a big brick of clay and you start manhandling it into shape.

To start a script, I like to plot out beats. They start extremely vague but get tighter as I go on. If I worked from the very beginning of Dethkomic I, my first beats might look something like this:

[We need to introduce Baen-Shee] [There is some kind of conflict] [The conflict is resolved]

Intense, right? Granted, my first pass was a little more detailed than this... but honestly, not by much. This is really all the more my brain knew about this story, at its conception. For me, just getting the parts that absolutely have to get done down on paper, helps me stay organized. It doesn't matter how blurry they are. Feel free to put your beats down in whatever fashion makes the most sense to you -- all that matters is that you and your brain are not getting paralyzed by the fear of losing your train of thought when you look at your beats. They are there to keep shit together, not tear it apart.

Though it wasn't much, it *was* a place to start, and having a structure, even in the most basic sense, kept my mind free to wander. Eventually, the beats branched out:

[Dethklok needs a reason to associate with Baen-Shee] [We establish new and old relationships between characters] [Stuff needs to feel pretty normal, here. Nothing weird.] [We find out Baen-Shee are more than just musicians] [Maybe the Tribunal is in on this?] [We get to show their real talents during the conflict] [Relationships are re-established as the conflict ends]

So now things are starting to feel like they could actually become a story. Notice how the conflict still isn't established? Don't get caught up if you don't have one in the very early stages. I see so much writing advice about "figure out conflict first" and yeah, you absolutely should have *something* going down, eventually... but details can remain vague until you get excited about what that is.

Worth noting too, since not everyone reading this is bound to be thinking in terms of Lit Class 101: the term "conflict" in this sense, doesn't mean "a fight" or something similar. With the beats above, the conflict could have been the epic battle we ended up getting or it could have been the bands shopping for matching shoes (and nobody can agree on a style). Seriously.

Part 2: The Detail Work

Remember that stuff I said last time about character arcs? Now's as good a time as any to start introducing things like that. In Volume 1 of Dethkomic, Nita's arc was your basic "the normal one turns out to have super powers" thing. So when I get to a point in the script where I want to play on that (and I should be trying to at least think about it a little bit, each time Nita appears) I can write it out. Take the scene where the Tribunal reviews each of the girls as an example:

[We get a panel each, introducing each member of Baen-Shee. Each panel should go over a bit of their less-savory pasts.] [Except Nita. Nita's a sweetheart.]

That will be enough for me to remeber that this is an establishing point for Nita's character. I can write it however I want -- the important thing is that we get the sense that nobody suspects Nita is anything but a normal musician.

The point of doing things in this way is again, to simply vomit your ideas onto paper for a while, jotting down what you absolutely want to have happen, and letting it stew until that sweet point of contention finds its way into your brain. You'd be surprised how nice it is to have all your thoughts collected so you can freely read them. I find with the jumbled mess my brain is prone to becoming at any given time, reading things in sequence often gives me just enough lead-in to know where to turn, next.

At this point, you might be the type of writer who will plot the whole of the story from beginning to end with enough detail to know what you're writing, down to the last bit of dialogue.

I am not this type of writer.

I tackle what I see in my head, first, so the things I know I really want to work on can help shape the stuff I haven't figured out, yet. I don't have the originals, but the first pages of script for Dethkomic I looked very similar to this:

[Chapter 1 - Part 1] [Nita is at a desk, filling out paperwork. She notes how much there is] [Charles says some reassuring things to keep her from fretting too much about the accidental death clauses in the contracts]

[Dinosaur interlude - introduce when the comic takes place] [Big establishing shot of Mordhaus]

[Charles calls a meeting. All of Dethklok present. Establishing shot in the meeting room. Charles' dialogue: "Gentlemen. I just got off the phone with Crystal Mountain Records and got some rather surprising news. We're blowing away every one of our quarterly goals except in one demographic. There's going to be some changes around here in the coming days." Nobody is impressed.] [Charles needs to do his best to convince the gang things are in a dire state and in order to do this, he employs the usual visual aids. Maybe the remote for the TV has spikes on it.]

[Part 2]

We need to meet Baen-Shee

[Part 3]

Something happens

Notice that some of the pages are more "put together" than others. The last fully fleshed out page of part one (page 3) even includes dialogue -- but I haven't figured out what happens at all in Parts 2 and 3. It changes, depending on how much stuff I'm trying to keep track of, and how important the details are, but this is basically all the more there is to a Dethkomic script before I start making thumbnails of the page art. It covers what I have to be showing at that point, any important dialogue I figured out (usually, I leave the dialogue until after I've done the art unless someone has to say something that establishes an important point), and any other pertinent information. Eventually, notes like "We need to meet Baen-Shee" get replaced by page-specific beats that are way more detailed.

And that's it. What you see in the example above is all I need to start drawing. As I go on, things will come to me or ideas will change which might shift the story a bit, but I tend to write out as much as I can, ahead of time. It's cool if stuff changes because I have everything I need to accomplish ahead of me in my notes, so I'm once again just whittling away at that same clay block. That said, I have a few pointers for you as you write your beats...

Part 3: Pointers

Let's start with one I will not shut up about and you've already heard me say a thousand times by now...

Get the things down you're likely to forget.

This is why it's important to always have access to a notebook or an app on your phone for writing shit down. There's stuff I look forward to writing and it's unlikely I'll ever forget to write it (and yeah -- I'll jot those ideas down, too...) Meanwhile, there's stuff I think up in passing. My brain will say "Oh holy shit. There's that connection I was looking for when I need X to do Y." Or maybe it's "Oh holy shit. There's a plothole here if I don't explain Z." And you know what happens if I don't write stuff like this down? Poof. It's gone by the time I get to it.

For every cool idea, there are a million points of connection, and disconnect, and plothole patching that come into my head as there are big scenes. Write them down so they exist somewhere and you can feel secure as you concentrate on the cool stuff. And speaking of the cool stuff...

Use your good ideas ASAP.

I know you don't want to "run out" of these... but you'll have more good ideas. Promise. Keep yourself motivated by using the ideas that excite you about your story right now if possible.

Let's say you can't wait to reveal that Character A is Character B's father but there's 15 chapters between what you're writing now and that point in the story. If it's not a major turning point (those are different), consider throwing it in now, homeslice. Or maybe hint at it if it is meant to be kept as a big reveal. Why are you writing, again? To have fun? Take every opportunity you can get to go have fun, then. The more you care, the more your audience will care. And it beats slogging through a story until you get to that magical point you've been waiting for, only to have your readers turn disinterested because there just didn't seem to be as much going on through those chapters as there was during the fun parts... that is, if you yourself can even stay interested long enough to get to that point.

Start to look for themes.

Once you get to the point in your story where you have begun to figure out the details of each individual scene, you might start looking for a running theme through your tale. You don't have to have them, but they're nice little bonuses for the people paying attention.

I didn't do a ton of work with theme in Dethkomic I, but I do a hell of a lot with it in Dethkomic II. A lot of the same themes exist in both stories. See if you can spot them:

The things that count as "family"

What makes someone "a hero"

Angels and demons

Individual power versus collective harmony, Corruption versus innocence, Life and death, etc.

Accepting a greater destiny beyond "normal life"

As always, I'm sure I'm forgetting some. A lot of these themes are universal while some of them seem to only follow a certain character or characters around. Their part in the story could be totally muted and no damage to the plot would be done since they don't exist for any purpose beyond giving attentive readers the occasional "holy shit, this again!" feeling. But boy is that a fun thing to impart to your audience as a writer. I highly recommend starting to play with metaphors in your stuff, if you haven't before.

On plot holes and other scary things...

As I said -- sometimes you'll make one of these roadblocks and if you're not careful to patch it, it might ruin your good time. The easiest way to work this out is to re-read your whole script from beginning to end, occasionally. If you're the crazy writer who is plotting the whole thing out early on, then you have a duty to go in and fix things as soon as you spot them.

If you're like me and are doing a bit more of the "writing as you go", then your job is to read what you have up to the point that you have it written, and see if there's anything keeping you from connecting what you have to the way it ends.

Look for things like missing character motivation, "magical fixes" (stuff that is too much of a stretch to allow for believability), time travel (how did they get here and/or what time was it when this happened versus what came before and after), etc. And above all else, remember this:

Most plot holes aren't a big deal, and the ones that are might just be stories that haven't been told, yet.

That's it for this edition of writin' with dethkomic, I spoze! So far, the advice I've been giving here has been pretty universal as it pertains to writing just about anything... But next time, we'll dive further into the plot and begin doing the other half of the work that comes specifically with working in a visual media. I am of course, talking about the art!

See you in a little over a week, pals!

[cave-monkey]

Monkey King 2009 Episode 14

I feel like someone on the writing team took umbrage to the idea a little bamboo raft would do well in open ocean. The pointed camera angle on the stores falling into the water the second they hit rough seas seemed...targeted lol.

Anyway, another lower-energy episode. I can't really say "calmer" since Old White Deer on screen together with Six Ears makes my skin crawl and feel anything but calm (Six Ears is not acting right at all, what did he do?), but it was definitely transitional, at least.

Speaking of Old White Deer, he has all these 干 relationships and it's so freaking weird. First there was just Demon King, now there's King Flood Dragon, and then Six Ears. Are there others? Does he just make a habit of this? Is this how he acquires minions? Six Ears calls him teacher right now, but is Old White Deer someday going to try to induct him into this creepy, creepy "family"? This weird cult? Were King Flood Dragon or Demon King and whoever else at one point also kids he lured in off the street, or got in good with their parents' trust somehow?

I don't like this???

Augh. Old Monkey King, please cave this guy's skull in with your staff. That might sound excessively violent. It's not. Like, why did Old White Deer go through the trouble of changing Six Ears's clothes with that spell last episode? Aesthetic? He's not a doll? Everything about this is so fucking creepy and I wasn't actually expecting it to be this creepy?

ANYWAY

Six Ears was present when Stone Monkey left! The credits have them talking too, which is great, and actually kind of make Six Ears look more conflicted and sort of...like himself than the actual episode makes him out to be. Which is also good, but also...I'm confused about the extent of that mind-whammy spell? I guess it'll become clearer over time. He was present, though. I sure hope one of the adults picked up on the fact he's not acting right :) And wonder where he's getting off to. Checking up on him after that pretty public outburst at least, maybe. That would sure be nice.

And if my entire lack of any mention of them whatsoever wasn't a clear enough sign, I...do not especially care about the heaven subplot. It gets smiles out of me occasionally, like when Laozi and General Li had their chat, and I try to keep track of things like - apparently they all have Precious Heavenly Birds that are also sometimes inanimate objects that they fight like beyblades or something? (why???) but...*heavy sigh*. I just don't care. Especially not about Fucking Dipper. That guy is...not the worst because Old White Deer exists, but he is up there. He is extremely up there.

And now, because Wudou the Absolute Tool has apparently decided to finally start putting that awful, petty little plot he's been not-so-subtly "slyly insinuating" to everyone in heaven about for the entire damn show into motion, I have to actually pay attention to him. Ugh.

Though him ending up in the middle of the monkey troop was a treat. Especially with them still so wired and territorial after almost all dying to the Demon King's army. Like, to be fair, they found a random stranger essentially taking photos of the entrance to their home, and that's a bit worrying for most people even when not regularly engaged in life-threatening warfare with their neighbors. Did they still jump to conclusions? Yes, absolutely. Would Wudou have deserved this if some nice paintings were really all he wanted? Of course not. But he's him, I've been stuck watching him weasel his way around being slimy and proprietary about Flower Fruit Mountain for pretty much the entire time I've known him, and so these guys giving him absolutely no quarter felt great, actually. No one deserves the four generals being the four generals at them more, honestly. I only wish they'd kept talking to him longer. They may have actually been able to make him cry with frustration. Especially Marshal Liu.

Also I called it, I called it, I even noticed this last episode but forgot all about it after the emotional bomb of those last five minutes, but General Ba really will not let General Beng say a single word anymore without immediately screaming GRANDPARENT TALK at him. It's so funny. Just let the man speak!

Especially when it gives us gems like General Beng, Mr. "I got praised once as a child for reading a book of poetry and I made it my whole identity" of all people busting out a sudden: "What the fuck just happened???" into the dead silence after Wudou's sudden vanishing.

Look, I'm harsh on them, but I really don't hate the four generals. I just think they should never in any way have any direct authority over children. They are better people when interacting with other adults and especially each other, honestly.

My heart, despite itself, did soften a little at General Beng and Marshal Ma yelling at Stone Monkey to just come back home if it was too hard, and all the commanders and maybe the whole troop picking it up. Though I also noticed how much better their attitudes became when Stone Monkey was given an actual title, especially one as prestigious as heir to their king. Definitely noticed that. Especially when them yelling at him to come home soon and safe contrasted their dead silence when they let him leave into the wilds of Flower Fruit Mountain entirely on his own just a few episodes ago :) Some things in life really are so much easier when you have status, I guess!

BUT. Stone Monkey. His calming breath as he looks out over the open ocean in front of him before buckling down was a really good moment? I liked that a lot. He was taking the adventure pretty okay, too! Cheerfully settling in, brightly looking for solutions to some minor inconveniences, and then...Ginseng Fruit is broken out of their gourd hiding place and you see Stone Monkey go through a mini-crisis when he realizes Ginseng Fruit is now in danger right along with him and Stone Monkey is going to have to keep them safe. The stress just slams back down. He makes the best of it, of course, and doesn't let Ginseng Fruit see much when he gets rattled, and he does genuinely like having friends with him, but I mean. Guy was definitely struggling for a few seconds there. What was he going to do, throw Ginseng Fruit into the ocean if he didn't like them being there? Try and row back to Flower Fruit Mountain against a headwind and the current to drop Ginseng Fruit back off? Like it or not, Ginseng Fruit is there to stay.

And then later when King Flood Dragon reveals himself (and he's a super creepy guy too, genuinely just messing with them and heightening their terror and struggle for fun, and it was actually disturbing), Stone Monkey snatching Ginseng Fruit up and tucking them up against his chest where they're safe and out of the way, immediately taking as much control of the situation as he can? His "Let me handle it!" making a comeback, like when he forcibly removed Six Ears from the canyon when their shelter went down. I think you can tell when Stone Monkey's genuinely scared or stressed because he immediately turns into a control freak about it. Just grabbing his friends and bodily shoving them out of the way as he tries to take over everything. I love this version of Sun Wukong so much. The writers really love examining his protectiveness, and how it's both a virtue and a flaw.

And then him trying so hard to throw Ginseng Fruit to safety when he realized he couldn't get them both out. Ay.

AND his "You can't die. You'll definitely find a big brother better than me someday (read: I'm about to die and I have to imagine you making it out and having a future and being happy and safe even without me because otherwise I'm going to lose it)." Putting all that effort into getting Ginseng Fruit clear, as safe as he can, followed by that long shot of him just having to sit there helplessly as he's pulled down to his death, unable to do anything to save himself.

Shhhush up, I don't have a lump in my throat.

It's okay though because Guanyin's coming in clutch. I couldn't see clearly enough to tell if it was another one of her hairs (if so, he's already gone through two and we're only about a quarter-ish of the way through the show oh no) or if she just called foul on King Flood Dragon and decided to intervene directly.

[vyl3tpwny]

volume sliders

my need for a tumblr volume slider feels like an edge case, because of the two facts of a.) i make music and usually require my monitoring to be at a certain level, and b.) i am forgetful and if that monitoring level gets changed i will often forget to change it back and then have a biased perspective of whatever im working on; — I never change any of the volume knobs on my system's end. i always rely on volume sliders for media like on youtube and twitter, especially because i tend to share my screen+audio frequently in calls & streams, so my monitoring levels wont even be parallel to what everyone else hears. i do have soundsource as a monitoring aggregate (this allows me to calibrate my headphones passively), but i dont really touch those either. occasionally i'll use it to double or triple my browser's volume so i dont have to change anything else, but i usually end up not remembering to change that a lot of the time. at the least, my browser's audio does not have to be super accurate for me to be doing my work.

at the same time though, playback controls for media seem to be really really poorly done a lot of the time. i obsess over these things and the smallest inconvenience usually pisses me off so much. recently ive been falling exhausted and upset by the issues that twitter has with its media playback. the timeline playhead is obviously very janky and rounds off to weird points. watching content longer than 20 seconds becomes a pain to scroll through if you want to. but the most damning thing is the volume slider.

i've shown this video several times on my own twitter, but this shit is unacceptably bad. this will happen to me so frequently and it will piss me off so much. lack of controls and optimization in any case just upset me, and i mean that genuinely. it's not slight annoyance, it's not light frustration; it pisses me off. my eyesight is relatively okay. my hearing is relatively okay. but if this stuff can hurt my brain this much, i can only imagine what kind of disappointment this yields in people with other accessibility needs. i shouldnt have to install some sort of app or plugin to make something work the way it's supposed to.

that said with tumblr. it really is awful theres not even the option for a volume slider. it would not be even remotely difficult to implement. but i suppose the issues are dispersed and decentralized.

now, i have a lot of problems with soundcloud's ui/ux, maybe i'll break that down sometime. but what i can appreciate is their volume slider. it really only shows up when you definitely actually want it there. it hides when you probably aren't actually tweaking it anymore. and you dont have to be super precise in order to change volume for stuff. you can see that you can kind of click anywhere nearby or slide anywhere nearby and it'll just understand what you're wanting to actually do. the fact that its so compact but also does not require precision is what makes it actually intuitive to use. another thing is the fact that it allows you to move your mouse horizontally, with great distance, means that it feels less cramped too. when dynamic controls like this force you into a narrow operating range, it feels kind of upsetting to use and a lot of people just end up opting to not use it.

ui/ux that makes you feel cramped is the worst shit ever. whats funny about this is that soundcloud's design actually feels cramped otherwise,,, but the idea is that their volume slider is at least intuitive and goes against the grain of the rest of that stuff.

anyway. i cannot adjust the volume controls from my system. it's too important for me to keep things the way they are at all times for my type of work, especially when im so forgetful. but i feel like there are lots of other people with particular use cases where a volume slider with general media is important to them too. and i feel like im not the only person that feels like they shouldnt be installing proprietary software in order to make something work the way it probably should. you know?

thanks

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[illwynd]

Sometimes I feel like people are overly derogatory about “fanon” as opposed to canon as if the subversion of canon wasn’t part of the appeal of “fanon” in the first place.

Yeah, and I can understand the derision, or at least the annoyance it stems from, in some cases, like when fandom seems to have genuinely forgotten that something isn't in the text and goes around acting like it is and starting shit over it.

But in so many cases it's more complicated than that:

There's retcons, where both things were canon at some point, and a portion of the fandom has decided that the council made a stupid-ass decision so they have elected to ignore it.

There's all the times where, yeah, fandom just did it better. I mean, we have so many more brains to work with and so many more perspectives, it's inevitable that it'll sometimes happen, even before you get into the problems with the alleged "artistic process" at certain, ahem, corporations, and how much of a difference it makes to have people who actually care about the "product" making the art! In these cases, we're aware that our version is not canon: that's kinda the whole damn point. Our version is a "screw you" or a "let me show you how it's done" to canon. (And in the cases when someone does assert that it's canon, their tongue is pretty firmly in their cheek!)

There's times when what is being asserted as Canon is instead an interpretation of what we actually see, perhaps a reasonable and supportable interpretation but also not the only possible option, and someone doesn't want to acknowledge that they are no longer talking about the provable facts of the text and are instead discussing the subjective meaning of it.

And there are absolutely times when some contingent of the fandom, in the name of stupid shipwars and the like, tries to use The Grand High Magnificent Canon as a cudgel against anyone who's just, y'know, doin their own thing in their own corner and not bothering anyone with it.

I think it's always worth remembering that one of the basic principles of fandom---and one of its foundational paradoxes---is that we're brought together as a community by a shared interest in a particular piece of art, but that we are also approaching it as a shared sandbox, rather than an Aura-laden perfection on a pedestal, in which we all have a right to play. And the ability to look at the original art as something the viewer can interact with, reject parts of, change at their whim, etc., also means that no piece of fandom art and interpretation around it has undue control, either. Just because something's canon doesn't mean I have to accept it as part of my own take. Just because something's a popular fanon doesn't mean I have to accept it as part of my own take. Same statement, and much better than the alternative of actually trying to enforce one particular interpretation on a whole huge group of people.

[lazzledazzler]

Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

[katsukithme]

First Aid

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Summary: Your pro hero boyfriend is annoyingly opposed to first aid, and you have to get a little persuasive.

Warnings: Language, suggestive themes, lil bit spicy!! Not smut but like I’m easing into it. Mentions of injury.

Word count: about 1.9k :)

A/N: idek what this is man I am just h word on main for angry blonde firecracker man

**Character is aged up to at least 20**

You've about had it with this man. This absolute stubborn child of a man. If his bottom lip weren't already split, right now you'd be very highly considering doing it yourself.

You both were crowded into your small bathroom in your apartment, first aid supplies strewn across what little counter space you had, a few knocked onto the tile floor. You'd learned very early on in your relationship that keeping a first aid kit on deck was essential to dating Katsuki Bakugou. If only the bastard would sit still so you could actually use it.

It was a feat in and of itself that you managed to get him in here for the first aid in the first place. It was like luring a cat into the bathroom right before a bath. He knew what was coming... and it took bribery of course. But he was here, hips leaning against the edge of the sink, arms crossed over his bare chest as he faces you. You were standing in front of him (conveniently between him and the door), antiseptic in one hand and a bandage in the other, desperately trying to clean the cuts that littered his skin.

"Katsuki, come on! Quit moving around!" You say sternly, trying once again to dab the cloth over the wide gash that reached from his collarbone to his shoulder. It had stopped bleeding a while ago, but it looked pretty gnarly. And you'd be damned if you didn't at least disinfect it.

"I told you, I don't need first aid! I'm not even hurt." He retorts, indignantly avoiding every move you make towards him. Finally you throw down the bandage with a loud groan.

"We do this every time! How many times do I have to tell you? If you don't clean them they could get infected!" You demand, hands on your hips.

"Tch. As if I'd ever let something like that happen to me." He was operating with one singular braincell, you were sure of it. And the braincell was sitting in the 'stubborn asshole' part of Katsuki's brain.

"You- it's not... Jesus christ. It's not something you let happen! It'll only take a minute to clean them up, I promise."

He doesn't seem the least bit convinced, brows drawn together in such a deep scowl. It was exactly the sort of face a mother would scold you for, saying it'd get stuck that way.

Sometimes for him, you really thought it did.

"You said it'd take just a minute last time. And it absolutely fuckin' did not." He gripes and you throw your hands up in exasperation. It was like talking to a brick wall.

"Because you kept moving!" He rolls his eyes and stands up from the counter, pushing past you gently to go towards the door.

"Whatever. I don't need first aid." He growls out. Your hands ball into fists and your face sets into a hard expression. You'd had enough... no more good cop.

Before he turns the door handle you say just one more thing- and it stops him dead in his tracks.

"Bakugou Katsuki, if you don't come over here and sit your ass down so I can treat your wounds, so help me god I won't fuck you for a month."

He freezes, hand still holding the doorknob. He turns slowly to look at you over his shoulder, expecting to find any sort of lie, a trace of a fracturing exterior so he knew you didn't mean it. Instead, all he was met with was a stone cold glare.

He scoffs. "You're bluffing." He tries, and your arms cross over your chest.

"Try me. Go ahead, leave the bathroom. Get used to fucking your hand, it'll be the only action you see."

He was tempted of course to just leave. The odds of you bluffing were pretty high... he wasn't stupid, he knew it was just as much of a punishment for you as it would be for him. But the look in your eyes– it was threatening. Kind of hot, but he'd keep that to himself. The threat of an agonizing dry spell was too risky for him to point that out.

"Fuck. Fine..." he relents. And he takes his hand slowly off the doorknob.

You smirk triumphantly as he trudged slowly back into the bathroom, scowl still set into his face with no signs of leaving any time soon. You take a few steps back, however many the right space would allow so you could direct him. As much as he despised it, your threat had him wrapped around your little finger. More than usual.

You jut out your chin once towards the toilet, which had the lid closed. "Sit, asshole. Lemme fix you up." You say, tone firm but just a little soft around the edges as he finally starts to do as you say.

He plops himself down on the seat with a grumble under his breath, something along the lines of 'this is cruel and unusual punishment, but he sits nonetheless. And he was almost pouting with that expression on his face. It was cute... even if he was acting like an child. You decide to make the ordeal a little sweeter for the man, even if he was being unruly. With antiseptic in one hand and a bandage in the other, you give a soft push to his chest so he'd sit back and make space for you.

It was a cramped sort of space, not super ideal for his comfort or yours. But he always had space for you. He cocks a brow curiously as you move him, but says nothing when he realizes you're going to take a seat. How could he say no? Even he'd admit, he liked having you so close. Even if you're tending to injuries that really weren't that bad.

You straddle his thighs as settle in on his lap, shifting just a little to get comfortable. His hands immediately find your hips, keeping you nice and close. Once he seemed contented enough, you get to work cleaning him up.

It's quiet in the bathroom as you tend to the wounds, the only sounds being that of your first aid ministrations and your mingled breathing. He watches you intently, taking in every little mannerism and facial expression, hands tracing absentminded circles into your hips. His fingertips were barely beneath the hem of your shirt, seeking out the warmth of your bare skin to keep him entertained while you treat his minor injuries.

Finally once most of the scratches and such were taken care of, you turn to the cut on his lip, eyes meeting that intense vermillion gaze. He was uncharacteristically quiet, but you knew it was much more than that.

Katsuki wasn't really a man of words. He didn't express his undying love every five minutes, and you didn't expect him to. Instead he showed it in actions, in unspoken words found shining in his eyes. In a small quirk of his lips when you laugh, or an affectionate eye roll when you do something dumb. Showed it in the way he kissed you. In the way he'd lay you down and give it to you nice and good, just the way you liked.

You lightly dab at the wound on his lip, being careful not to hurt him since it was still pretty fresh. He doesn't seem even slightly fazed.

"Gotta be more careful, and lemme do this for you. Can't have you getting more hurt because you're bein' stubborn." You mumble, averting your eyes from that deep stare to eye the plush of his split bottom lip while you cleaned him up. If you made eye contact any longer, he'd have the satisfaction of making you blush.

He grunts softly, pulling you a little closer on his lap. "I was gonna let you." He mumbles, and it makes you roll your eyes. And his lips quirk up just a bit.

"You were not. You were gonna walk right out that door if I didn't threaten to take away sex." You mumble, and one of his hands starts to trace up your spine, effectively arching you against his chest.

"Maybe. But if I hadn't, you wouldn't be on my lap, would you?" He snarks, but his voice is all soft. You put your first aid supplies down on the counter and turn your eyes back to his once again, and he was grinning. He almost looked smug.

"Ah, shut up. Didn't have to sit here. Did it for you." He snorts in response, strong arms wrapping firmly around your waist.

"Sure you were." He was sarcastic, but his tone was still fond. "You like bein' this close just as much as I do, ass." You wrinkle your nose at him and push at his chest in retaliation, but it only makes him draw you in closer.

"You're the ass. Wouldn't sit still, wouldn't shut up till I said I wouldn't fuck you. Think with your dick, huh?" You tease, and his lips raise in a half playful snarl. Large palms slide over your hips to grab handfuls of your ass, keeping you right up against him.

"Shut the fuck up. You like when I think with my dick. Gets you all hot for me." He mumbles, lips barely brushing yours when he leans in close. You could feel the heat in your cheeks at the comment, spreading to the tips of your ears. He always did know just what to say to get you wrapped around his finger.

"What," he continues, dragging your hips forward against his own and you choke back a gasp. "Suddenly you're all quiet? Bet t's'cause I'm right. But I dunno, maybe I'm just thinking with my dick." You have to struggle not to whine as his hands guide you back and forth across his lap, and by god the friction was going to kill you. Your hands clutch to hard muscled shoulders, aching to gain back some semblance of self control.

But it was hard to keep sane around Katsuki. Damn near impossible.

"Fuck... you..." you breathe, trying to give him a glare but it comes off a little more wanton than you intended. His teeth graze your bottom lip, biting it gently and tugging outward before letting it back into place. His hips cant upwards, rolling into yours as he keeps you rooted firmly in place, and it tears a moan from your lips.

"Yeah? You wanna?" His voice has dipped down dangerously low in his throat, rumbling through his chest and sleeping into your bones. Between the movement of his hips and his mouthing along your jaw you felt as if you were going to combust.

"You're gonna be the death of me..." You can feel that damn shit eating grin against your jaw, and when your eyes meet deep vermillion you know you're a goner. He had you, hook line and sinker.

"Complain all you want, but you're whipped for me," he mumbles, one hand leaving the plush of your ass to cup the back of your neck, dragging you into a kind of kiss that made your toes curl, your knees shake. Hot and heavy, tongue and teeth.

Yeah, you were pretty whipped for Katsuki Bakugou... but he was just as whipped for you.

[cblgblog]

Imagine Mildolyn, "Illicit Affair", Modern AU. Where Gwen's campaigning for Congress and all the meet and greets, showing up for charities for publicity, her 'cause'. At one for special needs children and their foundation she meets a very young CNA named Mildred and sort of falls head over heels in the dumbest of ways, both just love struck. Except she's campaigning to be in Congress, she's a politician, she cannot be queer and chasing after 19 year old ex-foster kids whos brothers are set to be the youngest executed on Death Row in California in decades for appalling crimes. But there she is, in hotel rooms her supporters pay for, with someone she shouldn't be with, trying to find ways to overturn cases that turned stomachs with their brutality, because a pretty girl smiled at her and called her 'ma'am' while showing her around the foundation/care home she worked at with children no one else had the time/patience to care for. Of course it goes terribly with 'dirty little secret' vibes, the breast cancer diagnosis announced on twitter before she tells Mildred in person, even if it's such a minor case ('so they say') and caught so early that it'll barely leave a scar, radiation won't be much of a deal at all. She doesn't get to tell Mildred that, she just gets to hear on Fox news about how the democrat's gonna die a horrible death and panic.

Mildred who has no patience for politicians and their fake concern, using patients as photo ops. It’s manipulative, it’s distracting to the staff, it’s awful, okay, she hates it. She is, in fact, a tad bit rude to Gwen when they meet. Gets her a death glare from Betsy Bucket, gets Gwen intrigued.

“Republican?” only half-joking.

“No.”

“Is it the suit? Should I have worn a different suit? I wanted to, but I’ve been told this one tested better.”

“The suit is fine.” It’s more than that, actually, but Mildred will not be saying that aloud, nope, uh-uh. “I don’t much care for politicians.”

“Ah, we have that in common then.”

“I doubt we have much of anything in common. Ma’am.”

And look, Gwen doesn’t usually go in for the chasing, the hard to get. She’s got enough trouble chasing votes. But this woman is so good with the kids on her ward, so patient. She’s got Disney scrubs on and as much as she’s got no time at all for Gwen, she seems to have infinite amounts for those kids. She stays with them individually, longer than any of the other staff Gwen sees, but she still manages to get a dozen things done in half as many minutes. And she’s also gorgeous, there’s that.

And Gwen has no good reason to ask her out for lunch. Honestly, none. Nothing good can come from this. Mildred asks if the citizens of California will be paying for this meal and Gwen swears that isn’t the case, no, absolutely not. Even still, Gwen doesn’t expect Mildred to say yes. She doesn’t think Mildred expected Mildred to say yes.

But she does. Tells herself it’s for Edmund, maybe this’ll be the one politician who listens, who’s willing to look past the surface facts, willing to help. Except she gets there and they don’t talk about Edmund. It’s not because Mildred doesn’t know how to bring it up, she’s made her case dozens of times. She just…they don’t talk about him, and that feels like a betrayal, but Gwen’s kind and funny and fascinating (much to Mildred’s annoyance), and she just…doesn’t feel like getting into it.

Meanwhile Trevor, Gwen’s campaign manager/law school buddy/best friend/lavender marriage soulmate, if they were in a different time, is like bitch, what’re you doing? Yes, everyone knows you’re gay as hell, but you can’t be chasing girls right now, you can’t afford to be distracted. You especially can’t afford to look distracted. And you can’t be robbing the cradle while looking distracted.

“She’s not that young.”

“Uh-huh. She wears Winnie the Pooh clothes.”

“Scrubs, those are scrubs. Scrubs aren’t clothes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“She works in a children’s ward, Trevor.”

“Uh-huh. I really wish you wouldn’t do this, but since you care nothing about me and my mental state and all the hours and hours of hard work I’ve put in for you—”

“After badgering me into hiring you over someone more qualified.”

“Hey! More qualified. I resent that. Anyway, if you insist on ruining my day, at least wear that face cream I gave you. Should make you look less like you’re robbing the cradle.”

“Go to hell.”

“And don’t do the oyster thing. Not on a first date, in the middle of the campaign.”

“It’s not a date, it’s just lunch.”

“Uh-huh.”

Gwen doesn’t do the oyster thing. Not on the first date, which neither of them acknowledge as a date, for entirely different reasons. But then there’s a second and a third, and sex, lots of sex, and it’s harder to pass off as just friendly.

And yeah, the sneaking around that Gwen hates. That Mildred says she doesn’t mind, and she actually doesn’t seem to all that much, which Gwen finds slightly concerning. Mildred’s good with secrets though, she’s good with being kept a secret. Mostly. Which again, Gwen finds concerning.

There’s pillow talk and Mildred admitting more about herself than she has to anyone, ever. Which still isn’t nearly as much as what Gwen admits, but it’s a relative thing. And still, Mildred doesn’t talk about Edmund. Gwen finds that one out on her own, stumbles across some old photos, a scrapbook of Edmund’s crimes. Gwen’s briefly concerned that Mildred is one of those people who’re deeply attracted to serial killers, but the truth is…something else.

Mildred tells her things. Some of the deeper, darker stuff, but not much, not yet. Tells her how she’s written to everyone she can think of because he’s a boy, okay? He was in an impossible situation, they both were, no one ever helped them, so Edmund decided he had to die. No one helped them before, no one helps them now. There’s anger and tears and Gwen holding her and she can’t help asking why Mildred didn’t talk to her sooner, if she’s had no problem asking for help from strangers.

“Because you aren’t,” Mildred says in a way that makes it clear she’s figuring this stuff out as she says it. “A stranger, you aren’t. You never were and I couldn’t…I didn’t want to become one to you. I didn’t want you to look at me like that.”

“Oh Mildred…”

Mildred doesn’t actually ask her to help. She doesn’t want Gwen to think that’s what it’s all been about. It was supposed to be, but it isn’t. She doesn’t ask. Gwen digs into things herself, digs into this kid who was barely double-digits when he did these things. Made all the headlines at the time, but that was over a decade ago, he’s been locked up ever since. Most of Mildred’s money goes to him, one way or another.

Gwen hides it from Trevor—the murderer, not the sex, he knew about the sex before she ever said anything—for as log as she can. But he’s always been nosy, and now he has a paid excuse to be nosy, and he nearly has an aneurysm when he hears why it is that Gwen’s suddenly digging into this case instead of kissing the babies of gay couples, like she should be.

Gwen cannot do this. Nope, absolute no. She cannot be sneaking around with the younger sister of the kid they’ve made all the documentaries about. Doesn’t matter that she’s running on a platform of prison reform, especially as it pertains to juveniles, this is not the case to start with, especially when she hasn’t won yet.

And Gwen knows. She knows. She argues with Trevor about it until he decides they both need to stop because Gwen has a speaking engagement tomorrow and she can’t sound hoarse. There are many further arguments, arguments about principles over politics, but Gwen knows he’s right. She cannot, should not, be doing any of this, at least not yet. It’s dangerous, it’s selfish, Mildred deserves better than being someone’s secret again. Gwen should break it off, at least until the election. She’s not being fair to either of them like this. They should stop, at least for a few months.

Except it’s Mildred and she’s totally hijacked Gwen’s everything, and the thought of stopping makes her ill, and everything about this is terrifying, the most terrifying thing ever.

And then there’s the checkup and the routine mammogram. Gwen started those earlier than most because somebody’s aunt on somebody’s side of the family got sick, somebody’s cousin on the other side did too.

Scratch that, there’s a new winner for most terrifying thing ever.

It’s good, they say. She started early, they caught it early, this is good, they have treatments for this. Good, they say, while Gwen damn near passes out. She’s got a campaign to finish, she can see the Too Sick to Serve headlines already. A bald look would not test well, she’s sure it wouldn’t. She talks to Trevor about that, about the campaign, until he tells her to shut the fuck up, yanks her into a crushing hug. He cries, damn him, and that makes her cry.

She’s glad he’s there.

She wishes Mildred was.

She is also relieved as hell that Mildred isn’t, that they’re on opposite sides of the state right now. No point having Mildred see her like this, having her worry. She’s got enough to worry about, enough to hurt about.

Not that Gwen isn’t planning to tell her. She is. It’s only been a few whirlwind months, but Gwen knows enough to realize that a lie of omission would be a bad, bad, bad idea where Mildred’s concerned, regardless of intention. Gwen doesn’t think of hiding it anyway, not really. Mildred deserves better then that. When and how to tell the public…that’s a completely different clusterfuck of a situation, but Mildred, Gwen just wants to tell her in person. That way Mildred can see her face when she promises it’s no big deal (hopefully without seeing how terrified she actually is), and Gwen will have all the paperwork and things she knows Mildred will want to see, and they can hold each other, and it’s just, it’s not phone call news.

Except then it’s headline news, because somehow it’s leaked. Fox News is having a field day, certain corners of the Internet are already gleefully writing her obituary, and she’s missed literally hundreds of calls by the time she gets a look at her phone. At least half of those are from Mildred. Mildred who actually sounds hysterical for the first time since Gwen’s known her, that bastard on the news with the hair, he says you’re dying, why aren’t you answering, how long have you known, please, please pick up the phone, just pick up the phone god dammit.

She’s managed to keep Mildred a secret for months. This? This doesn’t last three days before it’s everywhere. Gwen does get an I love you for the first time ever, but seeing as Mildred’s sobbing over her voicemail when it happens, the joy is somewhat muted.

[tokyoghoose]

something that never was

pairing: daisuke kambe x reader

playlist: even if it's a lie - matt maltese*, a soulmate who wasn't meant to be - jessica benko, the less i know the better - tame impala, id rather go blind - beyonce ( cadillac records ), the house we never built - gabrielle aplin*, i cant make you love me - dave thomas junior, i go crazy - orla gartland, blow my brains out - tikkle me, hidden in the sand - tally hall

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating,

summary: the coldness he radiates gets the best of you, ultimately leading to the end.

announcements!

i dont really see daisuke cheating unless it was a misunderstanding or smth, but i liked the idea of this fic. Let me know what you think!

you can tell i didnt write this in a sitting lol. Im vv sorry if it's hard to follow!

feedback is welcome and appreciated! requests are open!

There's a warm body beside you, yet the bed feels cold. The arm around your waist feels almost as foreign as the face in front of you. It hurts to look at him, to feel him. It hurts to even be around him. He's so beautiful but he feels like half the man he once was. It's disheartening.

Maybe the saying, what you don't know can't hurt you is correct because you were feeling the repercussions right about now. Curiosity really did kill the cat, and at this point, you don't even know how to get satisfaction from it. How does one bring up cheating to their partner? Especially when the partner is like Daisuke.

He likes to brush things off without paying a price except for whatever was in his bank account, the type to hand you a card and say 'go get yourself something pretty.' And it wasn't like he was a bad lover, in fact, it was very easy to fall in love with him. He has a charm about him that's magnetic, one glance and suddenly it's impossible to look away. Or at least that was your experience.

With the final confirmation that closing your eyes will do nothing other than bringing pictures into your head, you turn your back to him and try and distance your body from his. It doesn't do anything to help when he pulls you closer subconsciously, except for maybe it makes you want to cry.

You'd confront him tomorrow, you decided.

If you need to.

———

The pace you set is leisure and if kt wasn't for the poor nail bed quickly coming to nothing, it'd seem like you weren't completely losing your head. It's all you can think about. Daisuke out with some girl—who you know for a fact isn't his sister, and who is all over him. He didn't even make a move to push her off! He hates that kind of attention so if he didn't object it, then he was asking for it. He wanted the girl on his side. In fact, for someone who insists the other person sits across from him at a restaurant- he looked quite comfortable with her nearly in his lap.

Maybe you're overthinking this, y/n.

The door clicks open and your ears strain to hear the sound of Daisuke's dress shoes. He's rather indulgent when it comes to dressing wear and the shoes were practically silent, even with the short heel on the back.

"I'm home." He says to no one particular, taking off his trenchcoat and hanging it on the rack beside the door. He stops his path to the bedroom when he sees you frozen in place and staring in the living room. He merely quirks a brow, going to take off his suit and tie.

Suddenly you can't speak and you have tunnel vision. It's unfair how calm he always looks—it's almost smug like he knows everything about you and more. Like he can read your mind and tell you your darkest thoughts and when you'll die because let's be honest, it'll probably be by his hand. Maybe you should back out now before you can say anything. Forget it all because what if you're mistaken? The more you think, the more weight is added onto your shoulders and the more it pushes you down, down further into the hole you want to crawl into. Maybe you should let it because all you want to do now is escape his piercing gaze. His eyes are studying you, taking in your form and the cogs in his brain are turning to find an explanation as to why you are standing there like a psychopath and not welcoming him home like you usually do.

You feel like you're drowning. Is the light getting dimmer? The black around your vision only seems to close in around Daisuke and you try to look anywhere else but his face. There's water in your ears, the popping of them only intensifies until you can feel it pounding into your head with faint static.

Am I going to pass out?

It's not until his hand comes down gently on your shoulder that the closing circle of vision widens out and suddenly all the imaginary water rushes from your ears. You glance down at his rings before back up him, barely catching the end of his words.

"Are you alright?"

He's never been one to beg, so you would have to answer now or he'll leave it be for the rest of the night and probably months after until you're like this again.

"I-can we talk?"

He eyes you suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and keeping his brow raised before nodding, slipping his tie off around his neck, folding it neatly into the palm of his hand. He gestures for you to start the conversation, going to the minibar curving around the kitchen and living area.

When you don't reply he urges you on, "Why so tense? Did something happen, darling?"

It'd seem like he didn't really care from how cold his voice was, but you've grown accustomed to the monotone to know that he truly is concerned for your health. He genuinely wants to know why you're acting so odd. It only makes this so much harder? You're wrong- you have to be. This must be a sick trick your brain has played on you. Or he must be playing some sick trick.

Anxiety settles itself into your gut and it seems like it won't leave anytime soon.

"Daisuke, are...- are you cheating on me?"

His eyebrows finally go lax but he doesn't look up from unbuttoning the cuffs of his white button-down. His fingers fidget at the buttons and instead of the previous loose form, his hand forms a fist.

"I- "

"Why—exactly, are you accusing me of this?"

His gaze sends chills down your spine. He's offended but he doesn't offer a defense. Suddenly your mouth is dry and you lose all your words? How exactly were you going to tell him you stumbled across him and some woman in a restaurant and practically stared them down for fifteen minutes.

You decide the bear it and swallow a lump that has formed in your throat.

"You were with a woman earlier this week snd well, the displays of affection that I saw were not very like you. You've been gone for long hours and even if you blamed it on the new job, Daisuke—you never tell me anything. Is she for a case? Are you using her for information? Go on, tell me about it. Give me a reason not to accuse you."

You regain your confidence but it falters when you meet his indifferent expression. You'd prefer it if he looked angry and the silence that fills the room is deafening and the tension suffocating.

"I can't tell you anything about our cases-"

"I'm your partner! What am I going to do? Rat you out to whoever is breaking the law? Why would I even how those connections, Daisuke?"

Daisuke inhales deeply through his nose like this whole conversation is a burden on him and you can't help but feel like a burden too. Was this relationship not worth the time to talk this out? One hand grips the bar and the other pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You aren't my partner, you're my fiance. My partner and I work together. So, no. I can't tell you about the cases."

You want to rip out your hair. This isn't about his stupid job or his stupid partner. This is about the dumb fucking restaurant and the dumb fucking woman who was hanging off him.

He can't actually be this dense!

"It's not about that! Either you aren't getting the point or you keep changing the subject because it's true!" Your voice rises in pitch, your confidence failing and turning more so into desperation. But you aren't crying yet. There are no tears and your eyes are dry and you absolutely refuse to cry in front of a Kambe.

It's like the beginning of your relationship all over again. A protective barrier around yourself so you don't get hurt and offended by his cold shoulder. Was it so bad to think you've moved on from that feeling? Why is it so difficult for him to just comfort you and push back those fears? Is he that emotionally stunted? You may not know much about his past and his family, but damn— at least you're trying to work through it with him. Can he put out a little more effort?

All he does is pour himself a glass. All he does... is pour himself a glass.

"You know what- forget it. If you're so entitled and so emotionally reserved that you can't even talk to me without a drink first, then I guess we'll talk about it another time—when you don't look like my voice gives you a headache."

Daisuke actually looks taken back by your words and you suddenly feel bad for hitting a sore spot. He may not have shown it often, but he doesn't particularly like not being able to show his true emotions; no matter the reason being.

"Y/N, wait.."

But you're back on adrenaline just as soon as he felt a drop, pushing past him to get to your coat. You just needed to calm down before you said something you'd truly regret. Words tended to stay in his mind much longer than they were intended to.

"I'm staying at my mother's. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come near me until you're ready to tell me what the hell you were doing with her. "

When he doesn't say anything more and you can practically hear the cogs in his head turn, you make your way out there door, making sure to slam it shut.

You slip on the coat angrily, slamming open the door without sparing him a glance but waiting for him to say something. Anything. Were you being too rash? You shake your head and scold yourself, mentally. You can't just turn around now, not after an outburst like that. He has to learn something from this.

Irrational or not, hopefully, his true colors would show.