#it's a pr crisis for shadow

[son1c]

Yeah, I really want to see more of 3 and Shadow's relationship.

3 gets shadow's undivided attention and love for as long as he is in that "small and vulnerable child" stage. the only person who shadow lets get close to 3 is sonic because sonic smells like 3 (for obvious reasons). sonic takes many, MANY pictures of shadow being way-too-cute with that little freak baby 3 and shares them with rouge. shadow will certainly kill him for this once he snaps out of it

[wolffwish]

Clandestine Meetings

REQUEST: “Hey!!! Could you possibly do a fic with Christian teasing Toto about a new relationship, maybe with an employee, then protective Toto caring for reader when she panics because she thinks everyone knows?!! Thank you!!! 💗💗💗💗”

Summary: Rumours start circulating around the paddock about the relationship between you and Toto, until he reaches breaking point and jumps at your defence.

Warnings: Toto x Assistant!reader, workplace drama, arguing between TPs. Soft/protective/caring Lewis Hamilton x reader. Mentions of past relationship/confrontation. Christian Horner 🫥.

A/N: Kinda thinking this could be a part one… with a very different sort of part two 😏 ps thought you’d all enjoy the bonus of Lewis being featured!

You and Toto had been seeing each other for around 3 months, sneaking around the paddock and keeping your relationship as quiet as you could— purely because you didn’t want anything or anyone to ruin it.

What you had was perfect, a professional work relationship that never got in the way of your personal one, and vice versa. You could feel yourself falling for him big time, but with people starting to question the way you look at each other and the timings of your supposed ‘meetings’, people started to talk.

The Head of the FIA had arranged a meeting regarding an ongoing PR crisis amongst the teams, with all the team principals slowly making their way into the FIA hub at the first race of the season in Bahrain.

As normal, you escorted Toto to the meeting to see him off. This wasn’t uncommon, as all the other TP’s also had their assistants with them, including Christian.

“I see you’ve bought your sheep with you?” you heard come from behind you. You turned around to see Christian smirking, with his assistant whacking him across the stomach as if to say ‘shut up’. Toto turned around with you, daggers for eyes as he looked down on Christian. His tall frame causing a shadow over him and his assistant, jaw clenching through anger and fist tightening around his paddock pass.

“Just ignore him…” you say, grabbing Toto’s wrist, urging him to continue walking. “He’s not worth the aggro.”

Christian chuckled. “Run along now, Toto. Don’t want to be getting into trouble, do yo…”

“What did you call her?” - Toto scowled, yanking his wrist out of your clasped hand and swallowing heard, making his throat swell. Eyes locked onto Christian’s, and if looks could kill…

“Oh dear. Guenther! Looks as though Toto got out the wrong side of her bed this morning.”

“Say one more word and I’ll make sure it’s your last.” Toto commanded, his face getting redder by the second.

“Toto come on…” you sighed, “please, let’s just go. The meeting is starting soon.”

“You go ahead…” he said, flicking his eyes from Christian to you. His face softening as he saw your panicking eyes. Confrontation is one of your biggest fears thanks to your last relationship, and he knew that. “Hey, don’t worry, ok? I’ll deal with it.”

You didn’t want to take your eyes off him, but neither could you stay and watch. You’d seen him get this angry before, but only once. That one time you’d opened up about your previous relationship and how you were treated was enough to make Toto see red and start a war.

You nodded, forced a half smile at him and walked away. Past Toto, past Christian and his assistant, and passed Lewis Hamilton— who was making his was to an engineering meeting. The further you were getting away from Toto, the more your heart was pounding at the thought of an argument starting over what you were trying to keep a secret.

You’d entered the Mercedes motorhome and felt Lewis grabbed you by the shoulder. “Hey, hey…” he said, his voice just a brush louder than a whisper. “Where’s that smile gone?”

As soon as you locked eyes with him, you lost it. Every emotion started running through you as you felt your past memories tarnish every fibre of your being. Lewis had no idea about you and Toto, nobody did. Atleast that’s what you thought.

“Hey, hey… it’s okay, don’t cry. Come on, whatever it is, we’ll fix it.” he says, his arm wrapping around your shoulder and gently caressing it. “What’s happened?”

Through tears and a shaky breath, you somehow, in one single breath, mastered the words “Christian.. he knows, I don’t know how but he knows about me and Toto and we tried to keep it a secret but it just I don’t know he just said something to Toto and oh god it’s going to ruin it and I can’t be—“

“Woah woah, slow down. Take a step back. Breathe. Let’s do it together. In… and out. In… and out.” You copy Lewis’ actions as he calms you. “Come on, let’s get you somewhere more private.” He ushered you up the stairs and into the room that he knew led to Toto’s office.

“I’m sorry Lewis,” you said through tears and a few sniffles. “You have a meeting you need to attend… go. I’ll be fine.” Your eyes looked around the room, trying to find a jacket as you’d gotten the cold shivers and shakes from being so worked up. You saw Toto’s jacket hanging on the coat stand, which made the tears start streaming again.

“Come here…” said Lewis, as he grabbed Toto’s jacket and popped it over your shoulders. “I’m sure he won’t mind, will he?” The corner of his mouth turning into a playful smirk and he softly pinched your cheek to try and make you laugh. “I can’t blame him…” he says, “You are beautiful… even all red faced and crying.”

You laugh and roll your eyes… “Ok, now you’re definitely lying.” As you wipe your tears away with Toto’s sleeve, you hear heavy footsteps up the stairs. The door swung open, and the room stood still as Toto stood in the doorway— one hand still on the handle as he entered.

“Has anybody seen— oh god, there you are. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Toto claimed, walking his way over to you. “It’s ok, shhh sh sh, you’re ok, come on, deep breaths Schatzi, like we’ve done before. Deep breaths.”

As Toto wrapped his arms around you, your head buried in his chest and his head wresting on your chin, you heard him whisper “thank you” to Lewis, who slowly shut the door behind him as he exited the room.

“Come on baby, I’m here now. It’s ok, I’ve got you.”

“Why does he hate me so much?” you say, still locked in Toto’s arms. “What happened in the meeting? Did you even talk to anyone? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to—“

“Hey, hey, no, we’re not doing that. We’re not getting worked up again, are we?” Toto shakes his head as he softly strokes your hair with his entire hand wresting on the back of your head. “We’re not worrying about anything else, ok? Plus… he won’t be saying anything else about you ever again. That’s a promise.”

You pulled away from his arms and looked up at him, still teary eyed and sniffling. “What did you say to him?” you said, frowning because you didn’t know what was going to come next.

“I just told him the truth… nobody picks on my girl, and if they do… I’m gonna come after them.”

Your face turned from sad to shocked in an instant. “Toto, you told them about us?! I thought we were keeping it a—“

“No no, I know. But it was going to come out eventually. Besides, I want everyone to know who I go home to every night.” He brings his hands up and places them on both your cheeks, and plants a soft kiss on your lips. “I want them to know how fucking lucky I am, baby.” He softly kisses you again, this time gently sliding his tongue in. “I want them to know that this…” he runs his hands down your neck and over your collar bones, “…is all… mine.” He kisses your neck, and you can feel yourself smiling again.

“Toto, you’re the only one that can make me go from sad to— whatever this feeling is— in a millisecond.” You tip your head back and close your eyes as he runs his lips down your neck and to your collar bone. “I know baby… I just want to make you feel better…” he says, his hands making his way down your buttoned up Mercedes shirt. “I better lock the door.”

[rarepears]

Ok I was rereading your "Break news: Westeros lord marries a stranger?" Fic and I am almost sure Jinwoo would be the kind of parent that would gift those super expensive security stuff (like those necklaces that point to your ubi and stuff like that

But of course he can just teleport himself to the child and they have the shadows to protect them

But I just imagine him looking through the system's shop and seeing these jewelry that looks beautiful, maybe has a leon charm or a sword that looks like one of Jaime's drawings and he goes: why not?

So he buys some, cause the children are the kind of using different accessories for the week and he just thought that those earrings were very pretty and that bracelet wouldn't interfere with sword practice

And look! That ring would look really pretty on Tywin (cues their drama cause one of Jinwoo's books told about this tradition) and why not? :D this isn't the first gift he gave to him

So yeah, in my mind Jinwoo is the parent that buys his family everything they want and doesn't see a problem, they work very hard and deserve a reward and he likes to spoil them

Firstly, what is "ubi"? Because I'm thinking "universal basic income" and that's not what you're referring to. If you were thinking more along the lines of "gps", that wouldn't be possible since GPS requires satellites to circle the planet that Westeros is located and the GPS chip uses said satellites (on a very precise orbit) to decode and compute the precise location of said chip. Unless Jinwoo starts importing satellites to float around Westeros...

Something that I was consciously writing into this fic was Jinwoo and Jinah's kind of over the top gifting/shopping. They went from buying only the bare necessities (and some times not even that) to now having more money than they could ever spend. This sudden swing in financial purchasing power is making them go a little crazy like how Jinah is buying waaaaay too many clothes for Jinwoo to wear and paying a lot of attention to Jinwoo's PR. At least Jinah has a bit of Sudden Wealth Syndrome - a bit of an identity crisis because she can suddenly afford to spend money on her hobbies and other wants, fear that Jinwoo needs a backup plan in case he gets too injured to keep clearing gates, and also not quite knowing who she is going to be as a person (because she is just a teenager).

Then there's Jinwoo's mom who doesn't quite know if it's her place to say anything about the siblings' shopping spree. These kids are so incredibly independent from what she remembered before her coma; do they really need her, a parent, around? And it's not like they can't afford to spend with Jinwoo's current income. Their mom doesn't really know her place in the family dynamic now, so she's kind of backed off and is quietly looking on. She's not spending money if she can't because it's not her money; but she's also not sure what she could or should be doing, so she does things like make a cloak for a lion, cook meals for what she thinks are Jinwoo's friends, and try to make herself useful and not appear overbearing to her suddenly-so-mature-and-independent-children.

And then there's Jinwoo who is just a hoarder and now finally has the means to spoil all his loved ones because he feels very guilty that he couldn't give Jinah a proper childhood while their mom was in a coma. Jinah missed out a lot, he thinks, because of his inability to provide.

So yes, here's a mini character analysis about the Sung family's relationship with money and gifts.

[blazehedgehog]

Would you claim that Sonic as a whole has more than just subjective personal merit, that it is more than just "a fun franchise to escape in from the troubles of life"? Does it have any "objective" meaning in the sense a great work of art has or is it just a fun blue hedgehog and nothing more?

This is going to sound rude, but: I don't care?

This is buried in my inbox a bit, but I remember there being a line of questions I got last year that seemed to be from someone who was either experiencing a crisis of faith with their sense of belonging within the Sonic fandom, or were trying to poke at me to see if I had any misgivings.

And this feels like another one of those asks from someone who is fishing for an answer along the lines of "Why do you care so much?"

In romance there's always this talk of "love at first sight." You see a person and you just know that your search is over, their the one, and you'll devote yourself to them no matter what.

I'd argue that happens for a lot of things. Not that you think of something in romantic terms, but that you find the right thing at the right time in your life and there's an instant connection. You can't really explain it because consciously you don't know. There's something deeper that feeds a part of your soul you aren't even aware of.

Like, I know food metaphors are really basic, but you know how sometimes you get an intense craving for something? That can be your body signalling that "hey, we're getting low on iron, could you eat, like, a big meaty hamburger for us?"

Your brain doesn't know that. There is no sign that lights up in your head that specifically says, in human English, "consume more iron." You don't know what's really going on, just that you can't stop thinking about a specific type of food that is rich in a vitamin or mineral your body needs more of. So while you, personally, in your head your only thought is "man that burger tasted amazing, I really needed that" the rest of your body is receiving a critical shipment of some vital element it needed for comfortable operation and technically you're none the wiser that the two were connected.

My point in all of this is not that you're an idiot and I'm somehow superior or that we should dig deep to discover the meanings of what our feelings are really telling us...

My point is that sometimes you want a thing, so you should have the thing. That's it. That's all. It doesn't have to be complicated. As long as you're not doing anything unhealthy, you should fulfill your needs, because they are needs for a reason. And sometimes, if you stop and try really hard to unpack and diagnose why you want the mysteries of your wants, you open the door to all kinds of other problems.

Let's go back to an iron deficiency. How do you detect that? With a blood test. You take a certain number of milliliters of blood, there's probably blotting paper involved, maybe a centrifuge, and you're given a blood cell count. You can't do that on your own.

If you try to self-diagnose iron deficiency at home, you could end up chasing shadows, getting it wrong, and never even know it. For months, maybe years, maybe your entire life. You need to see a doctor, and then the doctor prescribes vitamins or whatever.

You... can't... really do that with emotions. You can't go to a doctor, ask "Why do I like Sonic the Hedgehog? Is there a deeper meaning?" and get a medically consistent answer. A therapist can speculate, they can point you in directions, make suggestions of what it could be, and in the end they may even be correct. But maybe they aren't. And what works for one person might not work for another.

There is no Sonic the Hedgehog deficiency test.

I am of the type where, since it's not an affliction and is just fandom funnies, I don't think about it too hard. I just ride the wave, enjoy it for what it is, and let my brain indulge in the simple pleasure of going "wheeeeeee" without any consequences. It can just be what it is.

Is there a deeper meaning? Probably, yeah. Nature versus technology, kids versus adults, fantasy versus science, adrenaline versus sedentary. There's a lot of interpretations.

And for me, I've mentioned it before, but my dad was a drag racer. I never knew him much for a variety of different (mostly sad) reasons, but he owned and maintained his own car named "Ol' Yeller" that he used to compete in local events (his was hot rod modded Chevy Belair). When it came to what he spent his money on, he put it into going fast. Which, even if he never could consciously impart that on me, seems to have manifested in other ways.

I have never been a fan of trying to coax meaning out of places where there might not be any. Sometimes you just want to go fast and bop a funny robot, and whatever urges that satisfies in my brain, I don't care much to unpack it, because I'd rather be going fast and bopping robots, you know?

[misskattylashes]

It’s May 2023 and a PR crisis has left Miles alone while Alex is on holiday with Louise. However, on the day of the Scott Walker Tribute concert he receives a surprise when Alex comes home to him. As well as going to the concert, Alex treats Miles to a magical weekend. But the change in his behaviour worries Miles. Alex is never reckless, so why has he taken so many risks that might damage his carefully protected reputation? So, while Miles experiences a weekend of pure joy, he fears it may be the last.

Chapter one now available on Ao3

[cloudmancy]

do you ever watch a movie that’s accidentally incredibly homoerotic. and it’s a nothing sort of homoeroticism because it’s definitely not meant to be homoerotic in any way shape or form at all. but it’s a 2 hour long christmas movie that you’re watching with your family and picking out the gay moments like the meaty bits in your congee is the only thing keeping you going. like wow the writer’s room accidentally(?) made this movie really gay because this actor is so white and craggy and old that they thought it would be safe for him to call ryan renolds sexy 4 times. well anyway that’s spirited (2022) wherein will farrell is is the ghost of christmas present and in the middle of having a midafterlife crisis when meets ryan renolds who is an insane PR controversy shadow puppet master CEO guy and is immediately like ohhh I need to fix him and when his boss (guy in charge of the ghosts who haunt people to fix them) is like no he's unredeemable he's like if you don't let me fix him I'm going to kill myself. they kiss twice. he refuses to play along w the haunting until he gets to ask him three personal questions and also learn more about his ghost of christmas present as a person. instead of fixing ryan reynolds ryan reynolds makes him WORSE. there’s a musical number where they hold hands for 5 minutes. his coworker tells him at one point that he better not fuck him. the TV crapped out 3/4ths of the way through the two hour long movie. simultaneously the best and worst holiday movie I’ve watched in the past 8 years. highly recommendeded

[mediamantragroup]

Navigating the World of Online Reputation Management with PR

Have you ever regretted posting a picture online? Remember the embarrassing collage of youthful photos with your college buddies? Or the series of negative reviews about your firm put up online by an agitated customer? Are you worried about prospective employers finding your infamous photo right on top of online search results? As we navigate today's digital age, the downside of oversharing on social media clearly highlights our inability to control how we appear on the internet.

Given the global reach of social media and the easy dissemination of online information, safeguarding your positive image on the internet has never been more important. Whether you're a brand or an individual, the impact of negative content or damaging reviews can easily lead to damaging outcomes. To negate such challenges, individuals and businesses of today are roping in the services of top PR firms, leveraging their expertise and impactful crisis management strategies to protect their online image.

Here's a look at how the strategic utilization of public relations can help in effective online reputation management:

Significance of Online Reputation

Regardless of the industry, the growth and subsequent success of a brand are closely related to how it is perceived in the market. It's the power of perception that enables businesses to convert potential customers and enhance loyalty with existing ones. That's why the significance of online reputation management cannot be stressed enough. The exponential rise in internet penetration means that consumers now rely heavily on search engines and social media platforms before making a purchase. And a single negative review or damaging piece of content can easily cast a shadow over a brand's brilliance. Thus, taking into consideration the vast reach and influence of the internet, brands must recognise the importance of effective online reputation management.

Leveraging the Expertise of Top PR Firms

Given their expertise in managing communication and shaping perceptions, collaborating with a PR firm can prove to be a game-changer for any brand. Their ability to navigate the intricacies of the digital ecosystem makes them an effective partner in managing a brand's online reputation. By proactively engaging with a digital audience, PR firms can deploy comprehensive strategies to monitor, protect, and enhance the online presence of businesses. Crafting authentic digital narratives and breathing life into brand stories, leading PR firms enable organisations to forge an emotional bond with the audience and swiftly respond to potential crises.

Proactive Reputation Monitoring and Crisis Management

Diligent tracking and monitoring of conversations on the internet remains one of the key components of effectively managing a brand's online reputation. In the age of technological advancements, PR professionals have the ability to track brand mentions, conduct sentiment analysis, and monitor industry trends. By using cutting-edge tools and techniques, PR firms can consistently monitor online conversations, which paves the way for proactive engagement and positive feedback—something that can be leveraged by a brand to enhance its reputation. Similarly, in times of crisis, businesses can make the most of the strategic communication and crisis management strategies used by PR firms to mitigate damage and ensure an effective response.

Fruitful Collaborations with Influencers

At a time when social media continues to assert dominance across the digital landscape, influencers have emerged as powerful voices showcasing their ability to sway opinions and public perception. By roping in the services of top PR firms, businesses can successfully identify and build relationships with influential individuals who align with their brand values and objectives. Collaborating with such influencers enables a brand to promote their offerings and reach a larger audience. The authentic endorsements of influencers can further enhance brand reputation, fostering trust and credibility among target audiences.

Conclusion

The rise of the internet has exposed us all to both good and bad things. While a brand's positive online reputation can surely create opportunities, a negative one can prove to be equally damaging for its future. That's why enterprise businesses of today must leverage the expertise of top PR firms in what can prove to be a strategic move toward safeguarding their brand reputation. With PR companies at the forefront, brands can truly understand the impact of online reputation, stay proactive in reputation monitoring and crisis response, and build meaningful partnerships with influencers. As modern-day consumers continue to form perceptions at the click of a button, strategic utilization of PR can be pivotal to effective online reputation management and securing future success for businesses.

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: March 2023

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2023 to make sure that they are never forgotten. 

It was once again time for Suella Braverman to become the Main Character of the Tory party, with her once again returning to the well of demonising migrants while making no mention of how the Tories have closed safe routed to create the migrant “crisis” they are proposing a final solution to

...while the ultra-relatable nice guy Rishi Sunak supported her rhetoric to the point he stood behind a lectern featuring the slogan “Stop The Boats” emblazoned on it shortly afterwards, demonstrating what a strong leader he is by blindly nodding along to far-right rhetoric from somebody he was too scared to leave outside the cabinet

...while an email signed by Suella Braverman was sent out criticising civil servants of being an “activist blob” whose lefty ways backed by Labour was stopping them getting their job done, yet strangely when that email received a ton of backlash the immediate Tory response was to claim that Braverman had never written or read that email with her signature on it, as if there isn't a track record of Braverman and emails - which, you know, is the reason why Liz Truss had a momentary blip of sense and sacked her

...so what did Stephen Kinnock offer in response in his role as Shadow Migration Minister?  The exact same rhetoric about how the Tories have failed by letting so many migrants into this country, plus the cost it is adding to our economy...which sounds exactly like the shite Braverman was saying

...and then Suella Braverman jetted off to Rwanda for a PR trip where only the Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Telegraph, The Times and GB News to join her for the ride  due to them being “friendly” to the government, so friendly in fact that they neglected to mention the minor fact that the building site she posed in front of while cackling maniacally and joked about hiring their interior decorator wasn't even a site used for migrants, it was a random housing estate she posed near because she needed photos of her near a building site to “justify” the trip

...and then along came Rael Braverman to howl to the Daily Mail about how that big, bad Gary Lineker called his wife a Nazi.  Except for the fact that Lineker did not at any point call Suella Braverman a Nazi.  Or the fact that it took Rael Braverman three weeks after the whole nontroversy had dissipated into vapour before going crying to the Mail to try and reheat the whole thing.  Must be a happy couple there...

Nobody ever accuse Matt Hancock of having the full compliment of sandwiches for a picnic at the best of times, but his genius idea of handing Isabel Oakeshott his full WhatsApp history in order to write his diaries (to make up for the fact he never kept a diary) rapidly came back to bite him in the backside when Oakeshott handed over the complete logs to the Daily Telegraph almost as soon as the book was on shelves and the Telegraph has been dripfeeding the most salacious bits to expose Hancock’s rank incompetence when dealing with Covid to the wider world, which is hardly the first time Oakeshott has shanked a source in the back to shit-stir - but this has also emboldened Covid truthers such as the Telegraph or her boytoy Richard Tice

...although it seems that, while Isabel Oakeshott did so to make the story about herself, she really didn't like the story being all about her once people were asking relevant questions such as why a Murdoch-contracted so-called journalist would happily hand over a scoop to a rival paper

Of course the BBC decided to make a big show of how they would inform, educate and entertain Gary Lineker about their impartiality rules after he posted a tweet likening Suella Braverman’s rhetoric towards migrants as those of 1930s Germany - which of course is shared equally, as we’ve seen all the times they have publicly condemned Fiona Bruce or Laura Kuenssberg for flagrantly breaking impartiality rules and even Electoral Law on the air, let alone the various times Alan Sugar has tweeted against striking workers, going into lockdown, Labour under Jeremy Corbyn, or getting triggered by pedestrian crossings

...and then the BBC decided to inform, educate and entertain the public about how untrustworthy they are when saying that Lineker was stepping back from hosting that weekend’s Match of the Day, only for it to turn out they suspended him and lied about it - which saw pundits Ian Wright, Alan Shearer, Alex Scott, Micah Richards and Jermaine Jenas all walk out in solidarity, and Match of the Day to be a surreal twenty minute long sequence of clips

...so of course Laura Kuenssberg weighed in with her opinion on the entire situation, which consisted of her reading out anti-Lineker messages on her show, which was as revealing as the time Tim Davie was asked if he would have acted if Lineker tweeted in support of the Tories and backpedalled so fast he created a vacuum

...although don't count out GB News for when they try to make themselves look like the biggest bunch of bellends over the whole situation, as their Alternative Match of the Day not only had a title begging for the BBC to bitchslap them for copyright, but was such a shoddy exercise that they had to make homophobic comments about Brighton fans so all six viewers would stop people cringing themselves to death

TERF dictator Posie Parker probably shouldn't chuckle while making the obligatory right-wing shithead Matrix reference at one of her heavies dragging a woman off stage at her TERF rally in Melbourne, because that's the sort of thing that makes her “Let women speak” mantra as much of a punchline as the neo Nazis who showed up to give Parker their support

...although a few days later Posie Parker tried staging another rally in Hobart which the grand total of ten supporters showed up for compared to a significantly larger number of people who showed up telling her to do one, causing her to have the sort of public meltdown usually reserved for Antonio Conte post-match press conferences after letting a 3-1 lead to Southampton slip where she inadvertently torpedoed the standard defence of her TERFiness by saying she wasn't a feminist 

...and because Posie Parker hadn't quite finished her Australian shitshow tour, at the rally in Canberra her heavies shoved Senator Lidia Thorpe to the ground in full view of cameras, so apparently “Let Women Speak” only applies to women who agree with Parker and those who don’t are on Parker’s list of people to be annihilated

...but because Posie Parker thought her antipodean tour wasn't enough of a shitshow, so she decided to visit Auckland next...and not only did her attempt at staging a rally fail miserably and see her getting out of Dodge within fifteen minutes when she was told to do one while coated in a thin layer of tomato soup, she not only fled Auckland but fled the whole of New Zealand on the first available flight

Billionaire manchild Elon Musk continues his quest for Employer of the Year by responding to Haraldur Þorleifsson’s tweet asking if he had been fired by Twitter or not, as he had no other means to contact Musk, by mocking him for the LULZ and then trying to claim he wasn't as disabled as he claimed in order to work from home because he was posting tweets when he should be working (an irony not lost on non-Musk simps) - which isn't a good look due to  Þorleifsson living with muscular dystrophy and having to use a wheelchair for twenty years, and that's before Twitter’s lawyers clearly informed Musk that  Þorleifsson had a $100m termination clause in his contract, at which point Musk very quickly backed down and rehired him

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk had the genius idea of announcing that, from April 1st, all legacy verified accounts would lose their verified status so if you wanted that blue tick you had to pay for it, while also announcing that the For You tab (aka the tab with all the shite Musk’s algorithm is shoving into your feed, starting with Musk’s tweets) would only be available for the $8 gang

It didn't take long for Michael Knowles to go from saying that he wasn't calling for genocide of the trans community to saying fuck it, he wants the trans community eradicated and salt spread on the earth to prevent any trans community growing in its place, did it?

Because it's been a while since proven liar Boris Johnson did something self-centred and self-serving, proven liar Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson suggested putting his father’s name forward for a knighthood, which technically means Caligula is owed an apology as making his horse Consul is a marginally less insane move

...and then Fiona Bruce had the most logical response to a Question Time panellist bringing up Stanley Johnson breaking his wife’s nose once by cutting the panellist off and saying he only did it once - which not only fucked up the BBC’s claims of impartiality but also trustworthiness, given he’s been accused of beating women multiple times.  By the way, this was on the episode which aired on International Women’s Day.  Funnily enough, she soon had to give up her ambassador role with domestic abuse charity Refuge

...but apparently Fiona Bruce is the victim in all of this, definitely not the woman whose nose was broken in a domestic abuse incident which she handwaved away while pretending the various other incidents didn't happen, it was social media's fault she had to give up her role with refuge and definitely not her giving a one-sided version of events that was also factually incorrect

Unifying force Keir Starmer once again proved his dedication to HIS party by allowing Mike Gapes back into the Labour party.  Yes, that is the same Mike Gapes whose name is all over the Labour Leaks we’re supposed to pretend doesn't exist, who stood against Labour as an Independent Change For Change Group candidate in 2019 so should be disqualified as a potential MP by the party’s own rules, and voted against the customs union proposals in Commons before trying to say Brexit was Labour's fault 

...and that's before the minor issue of Keir Starmer’s Labour Party not only giving ‘Nam flashbacks to Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats, but also being revealed to have ignored the findings of the Forde Report, a report which he commissioned, because the findings didn't say “Corbyn Bad Man” as he hoped - which the BBC also weren't happy with, hence they asked Martin Forde to remove criticism of the corporation from the report - which led to Martin Forde having to publicly state that Labour had refused to act upon the recommendations of his report

...and then the excuse Keir Starmer’s Labour Party barring Jeremy Corbyn from standing as an Labour MP at the next election truly beggared belief, as their entire argument is he lost the 2019 election as Labour leader - which begs the question why they aren't trying to shove Ed Miliband out the door given he lost the 2015 election as leader and saw the Scottish vote practically wiped out

Chocolate teapot Ofcom stated that there is a perfectly valid reason why they will not act when Tory MPs use their bully pulpit on GB News to spread outright lies which just so happens to benefit the Tory party, and that perfectly valid reason is that GB News is not a news channel.  In spite having the word “News” in their name.  And their channel slogan is “Britain’s News Channel”.  And their YouTube channel and Instagram profile saying they provide “news, opinion & debate for all the UK”.  Don't suppose the Advertising Standards Authority fancy stepping in?

Walking chaff Lee Anderson continues to spew out increasingly batshit attempts at distraction that sound uncannily like they were generated by a Daily Mail AI bot, be it claiming that a definitely very real family who use the food bank in his constituency are regularly seen at McDonalds, or saying how he agrees with people who throw bottles at hotels housing migrants, or the age-old “My dad fought the Nazis and I support sinking migrant boats” chestnut.  So, of course, it was inevitable he would wind up as a GB News host by month's end

There’s something quite pathetic about proven liar Boris Johnson trying to suggest that the reason he misled parliament was because his advisors neglected to tell him not to mislead parliament, which has a remarkable amount of “One of the bigger boys told me to do it, sir” energy to it

Minister for Women Kemi Badenoch showed her level of aptitude to be Minister of Women by dismissing a pilot scheme on menopausal leave as “left-wing”, because apparently the menopause is a symptom of that woke mind virus we’ve been hearing so much about

Noted murderer Amanda Knox is once again doing the thing where, if something is trending on Twitter about studying abroad, she pops up with the exact same “Well I had a bad time studying abroad, tee hee” joke.  Yes, Amanda, as we all know the true victim of you murdering Meredith Kircher while studying abroad was Amanda Knox

This month it was Peter Hitchen who decided to try the “hiTtLUh wuZ a sOshULiSt” line of argument in a particularly demented Mail article.  As in, demented even for the Daily Mail’s output

...so demented that Petronella Wyatt came rushing to Hitchen’s defence agreeing with every spittle-encrusted word of it, as Wyatt continued to make aggressive moves into the void left by Isabel Oakeshott’s sudden decrease is dreadful takes by reactionary right-wing hacks, as if Alison Pearson, Dan Hodges and Julia Hartley-Brewer weren't already long established in that space

So has Bethany Mandel worked out what the word “woke” means yet, or is she going to need yet more press and TV interviews where she whines about her career being sabotaged by anything other her public demonstration that she has no clue what the words she throws around like confetti at a particularly dreary wedding and turned into a corn cob in front of everybody's eyes?

Of course Kari Lake is still banging on about how the Arizona gubernatorial election which she lost was rigged.  What else is she going to do?  Get a real job?

The boneheads at Turning Point UK really excelled themselves this time, organising a protest against a drag show outside of a pub which wasn't staging one, as it had been cancelled months before Turning Point even got wind of it

...and yes, before you ask, it wasn't long before Lawrence Fox was also jumping on that grift in the vain hope that somebody might remember he’s alive

Cretin’s idea of an intellectual Jordan Peterson posted a photo of milking fetish porn and tried to pass it off as evidence of China's sinister means of repopulation.  There is literally nothing I can add to that sentence, is there? 

Self-appointed racism czar David Baddiel showed what an authority he is on the subject by saying that fascism and socialism are the same thing because Nazi posters from the 1930s look similar to communist posters from the 1930s.  The fact that posters by the British and American governments of the 1930s also look similar to them, as do advertisements for soup or baked beans, appear to have gone over his head

Somebody should tell Ben Shapiro that, yes, a school lunch is a solution to child hunger.  Eating at least one meal a day tends to do that

Past it shouter at clouds Jim Cornette really pushed the boat out to appeal to his incel fanbase, responding to Riho deactivating her Twitter because Cornette-inspired incels kept making creepy comments about her by going on some completely demented rant where he effectively called Hana Kimura “weak” - yes, that would be the Hana Kimura who committed suicide after a cyberbullying campaign against her - as an excuse to rant and rave about Riho to the sealioning of his incel fanbase

I would ask Danny Lemoi how that course of invermectin is working out for him, but I would need to hold a séance to do so due to Lemoi dying as a direct result of taking daily doses of invermectin, which I suppose got him before the course of homegrown cyanide he was suggesting to his followers

With WrestleMania Weekend in full effect it was Rick Steiner who got the worst headlines of the weekend after yelling a bunch of transphobic insults at Gisele Shaw, because apparently being seen as the (marginally) less abrasive Steiner Brother for decades stuck in his craw

Nepo baby you will never hear about again Alfie Brown probably needs more material than “All Corbynites are antisemites, LOL”...oh wait, he does have a lot more material, mainly where he's throwing out racial slurs or doing routines about how he’d have sex with a 14 year old girl if it wasn't illegal, which reflected really well on both David Baddiel and Rachel Riley when when they were only too happy to gleefully retweet Brown's comments in “solidarity”.  LOL...

Particularly bad look from James Stephanie Sterling where they sacked their longtime editor Justin McDaniel and tried to frame them as emotionally and financially abusive - only for McDaniel to issue a statement saying that was complete bollocks, and that Sterling was blurring the line between being a friend and an employer to ask McDaniel to move across state lines at one point, before trashing McDaniels’ reputation when a line was drawn - and further didn't help things by acting as if the situation wasn't happening, behaviour Sterling has (rightly) criticised numerous game devs of for years, and then thought making an oblique reference to not apologising as a joke for not liking Kid Icarus Uprising was a good idea

It says a lot that the porn bots did a better job of fixing the problem with porn bots than Tumblr ever managed - even if that job is mainly getting dozens of follows from blank accounts instead of more obviously porn botty ones

Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow for her utterly asinine assertion that you can't get skin cancer from sunbathing as the sun is natural and, therefore, not harmful.  Thanks to you sterling efforts, anybody whose uses arsenic as a poison now has the perfect defence of “Arsenic can't be harmful, it's natural”

Remember how, just a month ago, GB News attempted to insert a clause in Mark Steyn’s contract making him personally liable for any Ofcom fines incurred by him blurting out yet more Covid truther gibberish on the air?  Well, it appears that GB News forgot that little detail when they were hit with an Ofcom fine for Mark Steyn blurting out Covid truther gibberish on air and the channel's response was to issue a statement claiming they were disappointed with the decision

And finally, when not busy laundering $8m worth of Russian cash through Truth Social, is Donald Trump spectacularly losing his shit with an ALL CAPS RANT where, when not dogwhistling about George Soros, once again said the 2020 election was “STOLLEN” like the fruitcake he is.  Has anyone actually taken the time to show him that Downfall clip?  He might need to watch it soon, to take his mind off that whole getting "INDICATED” thing...

[champagnepodiums]

YEAH like I don't know if McLaren (or more aptly Zak Brown) thought that even if Daniel was good at PR, they were better or more loved?// i mean they wouldn't be wrong if they think like this tbh. i am in no way zak brown or mclaren fan but more loved drivers than daniel left the teams on way worse terms but in the long run every team overcome the "pr crisis". ofc this "we are a family" trope doesn't work anymore for mclaren but i believe people sometimes overestimate daniel's pr value so much that it shadows how bad his performance was to the extent that they were okay to just pay 20 million and get him out of the team. (when you compare h2h to their teammates like he is worse than mick actually except the accidents ofc.) daniel is ofc good at pr but also the current influx is little bit due to the fact that there isn't any other driver creating content currently imo. it will fade away once the season starts and if oscar performs closer to lando, it might even bite daniel back

I am not quite sure where you read anybody say McLaren was going to be ruined over DTS because I know it wasn’t on my blog.

And the quotes around PR crisis is a bit unnecessary. A PR crisis is still a PR crisis, no matter how brief it is or how well a team can rebound from it. And a PR crisis is still a PR crisis even if the team was in the right to fire the driver.

Honestly, I’m just going to set this post gently down because I’m tired and I have a headache and I hope you didnt mean the post to come off as super dismissive and condescending because I’m struggling to read it in any other tone because of the quotation marks mainly.

I might circle back to this tomorrow.

[escapism-central]

THIS POST HAS A FEW MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUT THE ANIMATED SHOW “INSIDE JOB” ON NETFLIX. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Once again, we have a binge worthy adult-animation show in the form of “inside job”

I love that they put the show’s name in all lowercase letters, seeing that it’s about conspiracy theories and how obvious things are sometimes hidden in the most obvious way.

Then there’s the company’s name Cognito Inc. which is shown in the series from having been rearranged from the word Incognito, a homage to hiding things in an obvious manner.

Then there’s our protagonist Reagan Ridley, whose last name was presumably derived from “riddles” seeing that she is the leader of the main task force of a Deep State company.

As for her first name, I assume that it has something to do with its “royalty” connotation, because she’s the daughter of one of the founders of Cognito Inc., but there might be more (or less) to it. I’m guessing the show runners might at some point reveal that Reagan is some sort of royalty in the eyes of the Shadow Board? But then again, this is all speculation.

Then we have Brett Hand, whose last name is probably a pointer towards the fact that he’s Reagan’s right-hand man, and also seeks to be everyone’s right-hand man, because of his overwhelming desire to be liked. As for his first name, it could be some sort of inside joke for the creator, Shion Takeuchi. Maybe it’s along the lines of viewing the name “Brett” as generic, or symbolic of “that frat guy”? I may be reaching here, but then again, the entire show’s about reaching.

Then there’s Myc, and really, the spelling of the name makes me instantly think of mucous for some reason. He does secrete a fluid used for the company’s memory-erasers, but that’s kind of a long shot, even for this post. His name might be derivative of “mic” since he can feel what everyone is thinking, synonymous with saying what everyone is thinking; his character is obnoxiously blunt to a fault. He’s from something called the hollow earth (surprise, surprise, the earth’s hollow), and is essentially an immigrant on the earth’s surface. This might be a clever, not so veiled metaphor of how immigrants are often seen as “aliens”, even though Myc isn’t an extra-terrestrial creature. The name Magic Myc is also an obvious reference to magic mushrooms (his body/the fluid he secretes does have an effect on humans)

There might be much more to Myc’s story arc and his people, since the show is called “inside job”, and though the first season doesn’t explicitly reveal the overall plot line of the series, there are mentions throughout about how dangerous the creatures of the hollow earth are to the surface people. This again could be a metaphor of how the “Deep” State, and knowing too much in general, can be dangerous for civilians and their “ordinary” lives. Myc’s name could also be a reference to the name “Mike”, and I’m guessing this may again be an inside joke amongst the people working on the show.

Now we have Gigi Thompson, and there really isn’t much to speculate behind her name; she’s the head of PR and Media Manipulation, and her name is probably a metaphor for how things behind the surface/not on the forefront get lost in the media, and that most people don’t really pay attention to it. There’s a reference to this in the first episode itself, where there are crisis headlines running in the bottom of the news channel while one of POTUS’ speeches.

The name is also fitting, since the first name is possibly an abbreviated version of Gigi’s real name, and that the moniker Gigi is part of the identity she’s created for herself, as would befit a PR and Media Manipulation head. Another reference to the metaphor behind her name is made in a later episode, where she’s outraged that no one knows her last name, pointing towards how people don’t bother to know much beyond what is portrayed in an outlandish/unusual fashion in the forefront, which is an important part of cover-ups. Without people not bothering to cross-check their facts, and their gullibility, there would be no scope for the Deep State. This can also serve as a hit towards social media.

Then there’s Glenn Dolphman, and I’m guessing his name implies that to a certain extent, what you see really is what you get- Glenn is a human-dolphin hybrid, with predominant dolphin features, like a “blow-hole” on his head. The fact that he’s a weapon fanatic, and a staunch patriot is probably the reason why his first name is Glenn (another inside joke, or maybe it’s mainly a baby boomer name?)

Now we have Andre, and to be honest, I really have no name analysis for this one. Maybe Dr. Andre is some kind of obscure American pop culture reference that I don’t understand because, well, I’m not American. He’s a scientist (who never went to med school) and heads the (essentially) bio-terrorism department. He’s also Korean, and was raised by orthodox Christians (as far as I remember, please feel free to correct me). His character is probably a gold mine of metaphors and implications, but I’m in a reference blindspot here, so I can’t really identify them beyond the observation that he’s from an orthodox family and is a doctor, but never really went to med school, and that’s a hit on the “Asians are engineers or doctors” stereotype.

We have JR Scheimpough, and his name is possibly a variation of “scheme” because of the way it’s spelled, but the entirety of his last name tells us that he’s not actually a scheming genius, and is very silly. Maybe it’s a variation of “puff” as well? I’m running out of juice now. I don’t think his full name is ever revealed in the first season, but the initials themselves might be a reference.

Finally, we have Rand Ridley, and his first name might be a variation of “randy” (watch the show and you’ll know what I mean). Randy dandy Rand Ridley. He’s a master manipulator who had a meltdown, tried to blow up? the sun, and was fired from the company, but still holds shares in Cognito Inc. I have a theory that he orchestrated his meltdown to remove JR from the company and completely take over (spoiler), but as of now, it’s not clear whether this is in fact the case. He’s a pretty questionable character, and I started to like him but then, the season finale happened (again, spoiler).

We also have the Shadow Board, which is an ancient cabal that controls the world through the help of Cognito Inc. It’s pretty culty in how and why it makes its major decisions, there’s a lot of supernatural stuff involved in their major decisions too (hint hint, season finale).

There’s stuff that still confounds me (besides Dr Andre and Rand), like their usage of the show name within the show. In episode 2, while Reagan and Brett are going to the Clone Lab, someone is doing underground maintenance in a hallway leading up to the clone lab, and the hazard sign (yes, it’s a hazard sign) says “caution, inside job”. Beyond the metaphors that we’ve already discussed, this may be a subtle reference to the role of hollow earth in the overall plot line of the show, or maybe a secret within Cognito Inc. that has not been revealed yet. The company building has various sub-levels, so I could be grasping at straws, but animated series usually make use of the show’s name within the show’s universe itself as an Easter egg/hint of sorts. Maybe it was just a gag and I’ve become much too paranoid after watching show. I don’t have the still for this, so go watch the show.

This was just a basic overview of the show, and I might do episode by episode analyses because it’s a banger of a show.

The show also have a website called cognitocareers.com and honestly, it’s a brilliant publicity move, because besides the show’s fans, anyone who will come across the website who doesn’t know about the show will be genuinely shell-shocked (check it out to find out what I’m talking about).

I’ve been editing this post and I’ve just realised that the co-founders’ names are RR and JR. This could be some sort of reference to past American politics or American pop-culture (I’m thinking Ronald Reagan). Maybe JR indirectly stands for juniour? Feel free to help me out here.

[readerinpassing]

The why-Alina-Starkov-going-to-Ketterdam-at-the-end-of-season-one-is-incredibly-stupid meta masterpost I promised @kasamira (1/3)

Alina Starkov at the end of Season 1 of Shadow and Bone decides that she’s going to go with the crows, smuggle themselves onto a ship headed to Ketterdam and get new allies, after which, “I’ll come back… and reclaim our country.”

Let’s set aside the deeply problematic argument that Alina makes in the last episode, that the narrative treats as true, that Ravkans will blame and retaliate against the grisha because the Darkling used the Fold to cut a secessionist movement at its knees in the middle of a two front war because he was tired of Zlatan sending assassins and selling his grisha to the enemy. 

(because that's how prejudice works clearly)

Let’s just look at this from an in-universe, consistency perspective.

(note, this post won’t talk about Nikolai, because we have no indication that Alina knows Nikolai even exists and is in Ketterdam, and there is no possible way that she knows about Sturmhond, and going to ketterdam specifically for Prince Nikolai is still aggressively stupid, but that’s the followup post).

1) She’s a peasant, where did she get any of this information or sudden political acumen? How did an 1800s peasant orphan from the boonies learn how to read power dynamics?

2) She thinks she just killed Darkling. Who is she reclaiming Ravka from? The Apparat? Why is she not just going to Os Alta to out-Religious Authority the man? Last I checked, Living Sankta outranked creepy Priest (he’s not even analogous to the Pope in this verse, it is deeply unclear how popular he is, and Rasputin died pretty fast even with the monarchy’s favor and now the Tsar is implied to be pretty dead or close to it).

3) I very much doubt that regular people are going to associate ‘the Fold moving’ with ‘it’s Sankta Alina’s fault.’ No peasant is going to go, ‘let’s blame the Fold swallowing Novokribirsk on Sankta Alina instead of the Evil Darkling, the man we’ve been blaming all of our country’s problems on already.” Seriously, Alina has already decided that the Darkling was evil enough to abandon him to the volcra, why not just throw him under the bus some more and blame him? You’re the Sankta, people will believe you for some reason.

a) This is also assuming that people in East Ravka even care. Zlatan being a secessionist rabble rouser is fairly well established as ‘known and disliked’ in East Ravka. Realistically, 1800s morality would probably not give a shit that the Darkling swallowed up the docks in the Fold, especially because even peasants would know that West Ravka leaving in the middle of a two front war would be very bad. Tbh, if they’re willing to kill grisha because something went wrong on a skiff journey, they probably don’t need that much excuse to go hurt grisha.

4) In the event that Alina does leave,

a) She’s leaving Ravka behind for what she thinks is at least a month’s journey one way (it took the Crows a long time to get to East Ravka after all, it’ll take at least as long just to travel, especially if she does get the allies she needs. I’m not counting Nikolai, because that’s a discussion for another post). She’s leaving a recently decapitated second army with a domestic political crisis in the middle of a two front war.

b) If the peasants believe that the Fold moving is ‘grishas fault’ and somehow they need to get revenge on all grisha, exactly how is leaving Ravka going to help them? People are going to die because she left and didn’t try launching a PR campaign or pilgrimage to convince people that it’s not grishas’ fault.

But fine, let’s accept that the decision to get allies is correct. She doesn’t know how many followers the Apparat has (and tbh, might as well be zero for all the foreshadowing this man has), she thinks that the Second Army won’t back her (not unreasonable considering that she killed the man who has been leading them for decades), and/or the First Army won’t back her either (also understandable, she has no command experience whatsoever and being a Sankta doesn’t stop at least some people from wanting to know what evidence she has to make these accusations or her CV for when she wants to overthrow a well-established religious figure who was trusted enough to be made essentially a Regent from what we can tell.)

(Side note: what happened to Show!Vasily? Or the Tsaritsa?)

5. Why Ketterdam??

To get allies, she is going to have to convince people to leave their homes, their families to liberate a foreign country. 

6. Why do any of these people care about liberating Ravka?

Simple answer, they don’t. Ok, maybe there are a few weirdos that would go on a crusade for Sankta Alina, or out of the goodness of their hearts and would run off to a foreign country to fight for a person who has no prior command experience, but presumably this isn’t enough to actually fight and win a civil war, and also probably not the army that you would want to take into a firefight. For the most part, people have no reason to give a shit about Ravka, let alone go and fight for it.

So who would Alina find in Ketterdam?

7) Ketterdam is established to be two things.

a) Hyper capitalist

b) A center of grisha-trafficking.

What does this mean?

Alina is fucked.

To be continued in: Alina is fucked. Part two of the why-Alina-Starkov-going-to-Ketterdam-at-the-end-of-season-one-is-incredibly-stupid meta masterpost I promised @kasamira (2/3)

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

It matters because there's been a conscious effort by both Freddie's PR team and fans to completely erase the three men who cared for and nursed Freddie during his final years, particularly his husband, solely because of homophobia and serophobia. The Queen narrative loves to virtue signal about HIV/AIDs awareness in Freddie's name, yet treated two actual HIV/AIDS sufferers like shit and downplays their importance in Freddie's life to this day.

It also matters because Dave Clarke's claim that he was the only one present when Freddie passed (whether he came up with it himself or was told to say that idk,) is a slap in the face to Jim, Freddie's spouse, who had to watch his husband take his final breath and then listen to someone else say that they were the last person who saw Freddie alive, like some weird flex. Not to mention Dave apparently claimed that Freddie suddenly sat up and stared at him, before dropping down dead. Which is, you know, impossible, because Freddie would not have been capable of sitting up at that point. If that story is true, then not only did Dave Clarke rip such a tragic moment away from Jim, he also tried to sensationalise it.

In nearly every newspaper article, every biography, even fucking Wikipedia, Mary and Dave Clarke are credited as the ones who nursed and looked after Freddie when he was on his deathbed, which isn't true. Yes, they supported him during his illness; yes, they would visit regularly during his final days and yes, David was present in the house when Freddie passed (Mary wasn't,) but they did not spend day in and day out helping Freddie with his medicine, helping him bathe, helping him go to the toilet, sitting with him all night so he didn't feel alone. The people who did that were Jim Hutton, Joe Fanelli and Peter Freestone. But do they get mentioned? Phoebe, occasionally. Jim, rarely. Joe? Almost never. They did all the hard work and Mary and Dave are the ones who got all the praise for it.

So yes, it does matter. It matters a lot. It matters because people constantly call Jim a liar, despite the fact that Phoebe has corroborated his version of events. It matters because most fans don't even know who Joe Fanelli is because he's been almost completely erased from the history books. It matters because these three men stood by Freddie during the height of the AIDs crisis, while two of them were suffering from the same illness that was killing him, yet they've been pushed into the shadows like a dirty little secret. All I can say is, thank fucking God for Brian May; he's the only person from Freddie's inner circle that I know who actually came forward and publicly acknowledged the GL boys for looking after Freddie (as well as acknowledging that Freddie was in a relationship with one of them.) If that isn't the proof you need, idk what is.

Thank you for articulating all of this so well. This, all of this, is precisely why it’s important to get the story straight.

The only thing I’ll add is this quote from Brian, said on live television one week after Freddie died:

“He didn’t die alone. He died with a very stable and loving relationship which people don’t see fit to report. It’s all crap. The proper story has to be told somehow. Nobody says there were actually three guys who were very caring, who were with him to the end. Nobody mentions that. And one in particular. He had a total stable relationship, contrary to what everyone knows.”

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Not That Kind of Movie

Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers

Summary: “They plan a romantic getaway but everything goes sideways and they end up in a dive motel eating cheap pizza but the water is hot and the mattress isn't the worst and...” (prompt courtesy of @fangirlxwritesx67​) 

Word Count: 2590

Warnings: Steve feels sorry for himself, Bucky gets sassy, and innuendo abounds, but there’s nothing particularly explicit happening. Zero adherence to any sort of canon timeline. It’s fluffy as hell. 

A/N: Blame @katwillrise​, who encouraged this nonsense and has been keeping me company in the Stucky hole. Please help us. We cannot get out. Major thanks to @itmighthavebeenintentional​, who a) reassured me that this was worth posting and b) came up with the whole pizza thing and let me write it because she is amazing. 

“I think—” Bucky starts, but he (wisely) stops when Steve lets out a wordless rage-grunt. 

“I got it,” Steve snaps, and seriously considers kicking the motel door in. 

He gets five more beeping red lights before Bucky points out that he’s trying to open the wrong door. 

Bucky opens the right door on the first try and ushers him through. He hasn’t said “I told you so,” but he is radiating it from every smug pore. He’s been pointedly not saying “I told you so” all damn day, about every damn thing. 

“Maybe Mercury’s in retrograde,” Steve mumbles, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sets his bag down on the desk. Then he realizes what he just said and feels himself flush brick-red. 

Steve knows, without turning around, that Bucky is smirking. He can picture it way too clearly. Most people have trouble reading Bucky’s brand of deadpan, these days, but he has an array of specific smirks, and they’re all subtly different if you know what you’re looking for. This one, barely-quirked lips and sparkly laughing eyes, translates to you’re an idiot but you’re my idiot. It’s just a hair meaner than the you’re an idiot but I love you variant and its close cousin, I fucking love you, you idiot. Steve knows it well. 

This particular smirk has had the same effect on Steve for about a century now: he gets a brief, overwhelming urge to punch Bucky, followed by an equally overwhelming urge to kiss him senseless. 

It’s irritating. And after a day’s worth of wildly unfortunate events that could, technically, be described as “Steve’s fault,” he is already irritated enough. He pointedly keeps his back turned and tries some breathing exercises. 

“That’s really what you’re going with?” Bucky says, dry and amused. “We’re blaming this on planets?” 

Steve sighs. “Clint taught me about astrology last time he got drunk.” 

“You do know he’s fucking with you, right?” 

“Of course I do,” Steve says, hoping he sounds disdainful. “I’m going to shower off the dried alien goop now.” He makes a dignified retreat to the shower while Bucky laughs. 

They were supposed to be at a luxury mountain cabin with a hot tub. Instead, the first day of their anniversary trip has been one long series of unmitigated catastrophes, because somehow, Steve’s tactical skills — which have defeated actual evil Nazi masterminds — do not extend to dates. Or romance in general, really. 

Steve has realized, in the last year, that while he is a goddamn national hero and literal superhuman, he is a disaster of a boyfriend. And yeah, sure, “boyfriend” doesn’t seem like the right word, exactly, for everything they are, but they’ve officially been together for a year now, and Steve got it into his head to make an effort. 

So, yeah. Catastrophes. And now he’s trying to scrub off dried alien goop in a sputtering coffin-sized shower that was clearly not built with super soldier proportions in mind. 

The hot water lasts just long enough for Steve to deem himself clean enough, for certain values of enough, but it doesn’t do much for his mood, which is the sort of sulk that really requires a hot tub. He just wanted to plan something nice, for once. Romantic. He’s always so busy running around being Captain goddamn America that romance usually takes a backseat — admittedly, aliens take the front seat in this metaphor, which is fair, but the point stands. 

Bucky is sprawled out on the plasticky motel duvet. He changed into flannel pajama pants and a worn henley, and he is temporarily retired from combat and other violent activities his therapist has deemed unwise, so he isn’t covered in alien goop; in fact, he looks comfortable and somehow totally content. After this kind of day, it doesn’t seem fair that someone should be that kind of attractive. 

Bucky stops channel-surfing to give Steve and his very small towel a flirtatious once-over. 

“Can you just get it over with?” Steve sighs, looking up at the ugly water-stained ceiling in supplication. 

“Hell no. I want to hear you say it.” 

“You were right. About taking the time to shower, and bringing our phones, and checking the radiator a week ago, and… all of it. Happy now? Stop laughing at me, I swear to god, I will — oof.” 

Steve doesn’t bother to resist, because the way his luck is going, that’d end in broken bones. He winds up on his back, towel-less, with Bucky on top of him, but his weight and his heat and his smile are doing a lot for Steve’s mood. 

Then Bucky grins and says, “Told you so, punk.” 

Steve scoffs and scowls and rolls them over — more out of principle than any actual desire to fight back — and Bucky lets himself be pinned. The smirk is back, and this time Steve gives in to the urge to kiss him senseless. 

By the time he pulls away, Bucky’s mouth is red and his eyes are heavy-lidded, and he’s giving Steve a slow blink and a lazy curl of a smile. It’s just as effective now as it used to be on every girl in Brooklyn. 

“You should put on pants,” he says, but the husky tone of his voice is saying the exact opposite, and it takes a second for the words to register. 

“Huh?” 

“Pizza should be here in five minutes. We’re not in that kinda movie.” 

That surprises an actual huff of a laugh from Steve. He slides away and digs around for his sweatpants while Bucky gives a low whistle and ogles shamelessly. 

By the time he settles back on the bed, he’s feeling a little sheepish and he’s ready to apologize. Bucky’s got one eyebrow raised ever so slightly, just waiting — the laugh helped, and he knew it would, and now he knows exactly what’s coming. Damn him. 

“Sorry,” Steve sighs. “About everything. This is not what I had in mind.” 

“Not sure what you mean,” Bucky says glibly. “I can think of worse ways to spend a Friday night.” He wriggles closer, pressing their hips together and giving Steve’s ass a friendly grope. 

“Seriously. I’m sorry, this was —” 

“When’d you turn into such a princess, huh?” Bucky asks, soft and fond even if the words are teasing. 

“Excuse you? I’m not the one with an entire duffel’s worth of hair products.” 

“What I mean—” He punctuates the word with a kiss that’s all teeth and promise. “—is that I’ve seen you grin and bear it through some serious shit, Rogers. You didn’t even get this bitchy when we were trekking around the goddamn Western Front. So what’s with the whining?” 

Steve doesn’t know where to start. For a second he just looks. 

Bucky’s made up of dramatic angles and distinctive shadows, jawline and cheekbones set in a way that Steve’s been trying to capture on paper for as long as he can remember, but up close like this, the sharp delicate lines seem blurred and smoothed-over; all Steve can see is the softness of his mouth and the gentle swoop of his eyelashes. Everything else falls out of focus. 

Christ, he’s gone for this jerk. 

And that’s the problem, really, because of all the things in his extraordinarily strange life, Bucky has always been the most extraordinary, a living breathing wise-cracking miracle even before they both became world-famous scientific anomalies. He deserves fireworks and epic poems and goddamn parades, and instead — well. This is the sort of motel where you don’t look too closely at the stains on the carpet. 

Steve’s spent the better part of a century pining for the guy. You’d think he could manage one romantic weekend getaway. 

“Stop that,” Bucky interrupts, before he can spiral any further. “Jesus, stop with the big tragic eyes already. Just shut up and kiss me.” 

Steve would protest, but there’s a tongue in his mouth and a hand in his hair, tugging sharp enough to make his hips twitch forward and his rational mind switch off completely. There’s kiss after syrupy-slow, brain-liquefying kiss, and for a moment Steve lets himself get lost in it.

Then they’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and he’s so startled he jerks back and rolls off the bed into a crouch, instincts kicking in before he remembers: pizza. Right. 

Bucky is laughing — cackling, more like. 

“Wallet’s on the desk,” he says, and stretches extravagantly, unbothered, while Steve fumbles for some money and goes to open the door. 

“Your total is—” The guy stops, blinking rapidly up at Steve. “You’re…” 

Steve remembers abruptly that he’s shirtless and half-hard, with some major bed head and kiss-swollen lips. 

“Sorry, I’m not — this isn’t —” he blurts out. “Um.” 

Too late. The guy is already glancing behind him; Steve looks back just in time to catch Bucky’s outrageous wink and sly grin from where he’s lounging on his side like a goddamn pinup. 

The delivery guy looks up at Steve again, grinning, and says, “Nice. Get it, Cap.” 

“I — what? No!” Steve squawks. “Not what it looks like!” 

“Totally what it looks like,” Bucky calls cheerfully. 

Steve shoves too much money at the guy. “Keep the change. Thank you!” 

He manages to snatch the boxes and slam the door before this can get any more mortifying, and then he sags back against the doorframe and puts a hand over his eyes for a second. 

“What happened to not that kind of movie?” he sighs, cheeks burning, before collecting himself and making a mental note to warn Pepper about another impending PR crisis. 

They sit on the floor, side by side, leaning back against the mattress. Steve checks the top box and hands it to Bucky at the sight of pineapple. 

“That’s yours. Heathen.” 

Bucky shrugs, unrepentant, and shoves half a slice of his pineapple abomination into his mouth in one bite. Steve does the same with his perfectly respectable mushroom and sausage piece, and for a few minutes they both just shovel food into their mouths. Steve didn’t realize how hungry he was, but… yeah. 

Maybe blood sugar has been a factor in his mood. Huh. 

“How’sit?” 

“It’s pizza. It’s hot and cheesy, it’s not like it could be bad.” 

“Hot and cheesy, huh? Just like one of my other favorite things.” 

Steve lets out a long suffering sigh, but it’s hard to be grouchy after demolishing half a pizza. 

“You know that guy is gonna tell everyone he’s ever met, right?”

“They won’t believe him.” Bucky counters. “Hey, did you know there’s Captain America porn?” 

Steve almost chokes. “Excuse me?”

“There’s a porn parody of everything these days. The guy’s not a bad lookalike, at least in the face area. The dick area—” 

“Bucky.” 

“I gave them that guy’s name when I paid for the room and ordered the food.” 

Steve actually chokes this time. Then he laughs until his stomach hurts. 

He can’t stop until he’s breathless and red-faced, wheezing like he still has asthma. He wipes away tears while Bucky sits there and looks quietly pleased with himself. 

When the giggles subside he leans over and plants a greasy kiss on the corner of Bucky’s smile. Bucky chases his mouth and nips his lower lip, and for a minute they sit just like that, twisting at an awkward angle to exchange slow scattered kisses. 

With hunger out of the way, Steve’s top priority is getting Bucky horizontal again, so he shoves the pizza boxes out of the way and tugs-lifts-tackles him onto the bed. 

“Feeling better, I take it,” Bucky says, grinning. “Seriously, everything okay?” 

“Sorry,” Steve says sheepishly. “I just — I don’t know. I wanted this weekend to be perfect.” 

Bucky’s expression clears, suddenly. “God, you’re such a romantic.” 

“I mean, it would’ve been romantic, if everything had gone according to plan.”  

“You know I’ll say yes even if it’s not perfect, right?” 

All Steve can do is sputter for a solid minute. “You — how did you — how did you figure it out?”

Bucky raises one snarky eyebrow, thumbs stroking Steve’s shoulderblades before he surges up for a quick kiss. Then his lips twitch as he tries to hold back a chuckle. 

“You didn’t buy a ring, did you? ‘Cause I hate to break it to you, but… that might be problematic.” He pokes Steve in the side with one metal finger. 

“No! I just — I wanted it to be special!”

Bucky rolls his eyes in a way that somehow conveys an entire lifetime of mingled exasperation and affection. 

“Pal, I’m part robot and you’re Captain America. Doesn’t get much more special than that.” 

“I had a whole speech!” 

“Now there’s something you don’t see often: Captain America making a speech.” 

“Wow.” 

“No, I’m sure it was a good one. Lemme guess, the words ‘til the end of the line’ were involved. Am I right?”  

“Wow.”

He’s laughing too hard for it to be considered a real kiss, but he can’t help it. 

Steve’s about to pull away when Bucky wraps both arms around him and kisses back, and suddenly there’s nothing playful about it; it’s startlingly slow and deep and urgent, with a hitched inhale and an exhale that comes out shaky. 

Steve can’t quite catch his breath either. 

“You really thought you had to ask?” Bucky whispers. Neither of them pull away; their noses brush, and they’re breathing the same warm close air. 

“Told you, I wanted it to be special. You deserve that.” He expects a sarcastic retort, but Bucky’s serious and silent. “Sometimes I worry… I’ll let you down. After all this time — I don’t want you to get bored. Don’t want you to think I take you for granted.” 

“Honestly? The boring stuff is my favorite.” 

“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better, Buck.” 

“After everything that’s happened —” His voice has gone rough, and he pauses to lick his lips and take a breath. “Boredom still feels like a luxury. Getting to muddle through the everyday shit together… I love it. Even when you’re being a goddamn diva.” 

Steve lets out a wobbly chuckle. “Jerk.” 

“We both shoulda died a few times over by now. You know? It all feels special. I’m never gonna get over that.”  Bucky bites his lip, and his expression is wide-open and vulnerable, no trace of the usual laughter in his eyes. “So if you want a piece of paper making it official, that’s fine by me. But as far as I’m concerned… it was a done deal a long time ago.” 

“Yeah,” Steve manages. “Yeah, okay.” 

Then it’s bruising lips and feverish heat, a simmering need that’s so perfect and dizzying that for a few minutes, Steve forgets about the questionable duvet and the sticky wallpaper and absolutely everything else. 

They could be anywhere: crappy motel room, Brooklyn tenement, mountain cabin, Army base — Steve’s never been able to focus on their surroundings or anything else for that matter, not when Bucky’s around. This kind of love’s not just blind, it’s blinding. 

“You can go through the whole thing anyway, if it makes you feel better,” Bucky interrupts.

“Huh?” 

“I know you need to deliver an inspiring speech at least once a week or you get all backed up.” 

“I’m starting to think I should take it all back.”

“No, really. I’m sure it would’ve been very eloquent.” 

“Shut up and get your clothes off already.” 

“Is that an order, Captain?” 

“Yes.” 

“See? Who needs romance when — oh. Oh, hey, do that again.” 

.

.

.

[lovelivingmydreams]

A might have been part 3

@Rondoe well, I wouldn’t dare make you wait. Here’s the next installment of my @kingcreativityau au. Hope you all like it. And no I’m not don yet.

Part 1

Part 2

Growing together

And now everyone was looking at him curiously. Why did he have to open his mouth?

It was somewhere in middle school when Prince came with an announcement.

“We should have names!”

Everyone looked up at that. “What do you mean kiddo? We have names,” Morality wondered.

“No. We have titles. I mean real names!” Prince insisted.

A few moments passed by. “That sounds good actually,” Fear muttered softly. Middle school was hard on him. There was so much to worry about and so many expectations. And now mother had scheduled an appointment with a doctor to address the worries Thomas was having.

He tried to handle them. But lately there were always some creatures following him around and he didn’t always have the energy to deal with them head on.

“I mean… I just… Well…” How to explain?

“It would be beneficial to differentiate between the side and their job,” Logic voiced.

Fear nodded. Relieved someone else thought so too. He hated telling the twins ‘No’. Especially Prince, who always took it personal. The thing was, he thought most of their ideas sounded great. But he also felt he needed to contain them a bit for Thomas’ sake.

And every time he did, he felt like he might as well have punched them.

He hadn’t expected Logic to be the one to understand that and put it into words so well.

“Exactly! I even already thought of one for me!” Prince grinned proudly.

“From now on, you may call me Prince Roman!” he declared.

“Oooh! Then I wanna be Remus!” Duke, or Remus jumped in.

“Oh, this sounds fun! Let’s all meet up tonight and go around reintroducing ourselves alright?”

Everyone nodded and went on with their activities of the day while thinking about names.

When the evening came they all sat in a circle.

“I’ll start!” Morality suggested cheerily. “Logic helped me pick this one out,” he explained with a warm smile to the studious side who merely nodded in acknowledgement.

“You all know me as Morality. And I’ll always try and make sure Thomas is a good person and that you all are looked after. I might sometimes have to put my foot down for that, but I want you to know that I don’t love you any less when I do that than when I go along with your ideas.

Call me Patton, of dad if you want,” he explained with a wave.

Then he grinned widely. “It’s funny, you see, because it’s like Paternal, which means fatherly, and Pathos which is about arguments driven by emotion. It’s a pun!” he giggled. Everyone smiled at that. Morality… Patton, loved his puns.

“Now you go Logic!” he suggested.

Logic nodded and adjusted his glasses. “You know me as Logic. I will always strive for efficiency and intelligent decisions. But… I suppose I quite enjoy some of all of your ‘zanier’ antics and while I might try to put a stop to them in pursuit of my purpose, that does not mean I don’t appreciate your company. Call me Logan… Or if you must, Teacher,” he allowed the last bit with a nod to Roman who had been calling him that on and off since the twins formed. The prince beamed at Logan’s official acceptance of that nickname.

“Logan is not only similar to my title, but it also refers to Logos, arguments based on reason.”

Patton clapped his hands in excitement.

“You wanna officially introduce yourselves too kiddo’s?” he asked the twins.

Roman nodded eagerly. “You know me as the Prince! Thomas’ honor, dreams and creative exploits are my top priority. I may get carried away by that sometimes. Therefore I want you to know, that even when I don’t act like it, I know that you all care for me, and I care for you in return.” Fear might be imagining it, but he felt like that was added for his benefit. It was a relief though. He was really starting to worry he was making his closest friends hate him.

Please call me Roman,” Prince bowed. “It refers to the great Roman Empire and Romance! The most epic of adventures!” he explained proudly.

“I am the Duke! And I just want to have a good time. I like you guys though! Even if you’re boring sometimes. Call me Remus!”

Everyone chuckles. If Remus had wanted to shock them, he would’ve joined in the mushy reintroduction theme. But he was being his classical self.

Though now that Fear thought about it… Had Remus put more thought in his name than just that it related to Roman’s? Should they talk about this?

“Alright! Just two more! Fear? Do you want to go next?” Morality asked kindly.

Fear snapped out of his miniature crisis.

“Um… Okay…” he sighed, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “I’m fear,” for now. “And I’ll worry a lot. And I’ll second guess whether we should do anything a lot. Even when I get my way, I’ll wonder if that was the right thing. But, I just want everyone to be safe. I… You can call me Virgil.”

Everyone smiled at him. “I see. It’s a play on ‘Vigilant’ and a reference to the Roman poet of the same name. Thomas researched him recently for a school project,” Logan deduced.

“Um… Yeah. He sounded pretty cool,” Virgil admitted, feeling a bit better now that that part was over.

“It’s a great name Virgil,” Patton assured him.

“Indeed! A wonderful fit!” Roman agreed. Virgil smiled and relaxed. He’d been worried they’d think it was weird.

Then everyone turned to Deceit.

“I’m not telling,” he smirked deviously.

“Come on!” Roman complained.

“Even if I did. How are you so sure I’d be telling the truth?” he asked coyly as he studied his nails.

Virgil rolled his eyes. Dee and his dramatics. But, Virgil had promised Dee that he would have his back.

“If he isn’t ready to tell us then that’s fine. Right?” he spoke up.

The others exchanged glances. “I suppose,” Roman groaned reluctantly. Not a fan of not being in on secrets.

“Virgil has a good point. Deceit can tell us whenever he feels ready,” Patton agreed.

Everyone left it at that and went back to work.

Then the dreaded doctor’s visit came. Everyone was sitting listening tensely as the doctor explained things to mother.

Virgil was curled up in the middle, flanked by Roman and Patton. Remus was standing with Deceit and Logan a few steps back.

Anxiety. Virgil was now officially, Anxiety. He hated it.

Roman had one arm around his shoulders and squeezed it. “It’s not so bad…” he tried.

“Thomas is going to hate me,” Virgil stated. Of course he would. Fear was bad enough, but Anxiety?

Roman frowned. “No he won’t!” he insisted. And then Thomas spoke up.

“So… It’s like having a very protective friend in my head?” he asked nervously.

Virgil’s head shot up. What… How?

“Roman! That’s so sweet!” Patton smiled proudly.

Virgil blinked up at Roman while the doctor chuckled and agreed that that was a good way to look at it.

“Your… Friend, can be overly cautious though. And sometimes he will make you think things are worse than they are. He may assume bad things will happen when there is no reason to think that. And sometimes he might think you are in real danger when you are not. So it is important to learn how to work with him. Ready to help your anxiety out Thomas?”

Thomas nodded and Virgil felt like he could cry.

“Thanks Ro…” he smiled.

“Of course V. I wasn’t going to let some doctor talk badly about my best friend,” he stated firmly.

Virgil relaxed a little and Thomas followed suit.

Things didn’t exactly suddenly go over roses now that Thomas was aware of Virgil’s intentions.

And Virgil was not rid of his old demons.

“Hey,” he muttered as he approached the twins in the dream room. A stress bunny jumping around his feet.

“Virgil… There is something right… There,” Roman pointed out, gesturing to the bunny.

“I know… I can’t get it to go away,” Virgil sighed tiredly as he sat down and curled up on himself.

“… Why not?” Remus wondered. Virgil always made the doubts go away somehow.

“Because this one is my own thoughts, not Thomas’.” Virgil explained.

“Can we help?” Roman offered, hating to see his friend suffer.

“Can…” Virgil’s eyes filled with tears. “Can you promise you won’t leave?” he sobbed. The thought had been plaguing him on and off for ages, and now it just would not go away.

Remus and Roman sat themselves down, flanking Virgil’s shaking frame.

“Why would you think that?” Roman asked perplexed.

“He did. I… I didn’t protect him right and he left!” he sobbed. The twins looked at each other shocked. They knew who he was talking about. King.

They remembered how broken Virgil had been when they formed. They’d felt bad for being the reason he was hurting.

“Well, we aren’t going anywhere. Teasing you is way too much fun!” Remus cackled a little uncomfortable with the looming shadow of their previous form hanging over their heads.

“Indeed! I would be a rather sorry excuse for a prince if I left my most trusted knight behind wouldn’t I?”

Virgil looked up at them. He wanted to believe them so badly.

“Promise?” he insisted.

“Hope to die, stick my but full of cacti!” Remus nodded as he crossed his heart, making Virgil chuckle lightly.

“I solemnly swear that I shall not permit myself to leave your side in any permanent manner,” Roman vowed.

Virgil took in a deep breath and saw the bunny dissolve, it was enough…

It really wasn’t.

“Why not?” Roman demanded.

“Because people will be staring and when we mess up everyone will laugh at us!” Virgil replied.

“Why are you suddenly like this!? You used to love my ideas?” the prince wondered. Virgil was too worked up to notice the way his voice broke and the silent plea in his eye. He would realize all this later though, when all he could do about it was berate himself for it for months to come.

“I’ve always been like this Roman! I’m trying to keep us safe! You used to not be covered in bruises all the time from the other kids being mean to Thomas!” he countered indicating the fresh mark on the Prince’s cheek.

Roman flinched away and covered the mark self-consciously. “Well, I’m sorry I’m not as perfect as I used to be! I’m trying!”

That shut Virgil up. “Princey… I’m sorry, I never meant to make you feel like you did something wrong,” he whispered.

Roman was fighting to hold back tears now. He couldn’t cry. Heroes don’t cry.

“You say that but, you haven’t really hung out with us for weeks. You are always of chasing shadows and when you aren’t… Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry I’m not him. I’m working so hard to be like him though. I just, don’t know how he kept you happy,” Roman confessed, not looking at Virgil, playing with the edge of his shirt instead.

“Roman, I never wanted you or Remus to be him. And I was different back then too. Dealing with me was easier back then. K-” Suddenly Virgil felt his hand clasp in front of his mouth. What…? Deceit.

Virgil frowned and managed to release his hold of his mouth.

“Give me a second Ro. I’ll be right back. We can talk about this while watching a movie or something okay? And… We’ll see about trying out later. Maybe I was… doing those negative thinking things the doctor told us about,” Virgil allowed. Roman looked up at him with a shaky smile.

“Really? You’ll hear me out?” he asked.

“Really. I shouldn’t have shut you down like that,” Virgil acknowledged. He did that sometimes. Let his job overtake his own judgement. The thoughts were just so hard to ignore sometimes.

Now however he had a snake to deal with.

“Janus!” Virgil growled when he got to the willow. He and Remus were told Jan’s name a while ago.

Why them and not the rest neither knew but they kept the secret.

“What is it Virgil?” Janus drawled as he got up from his spot in the grass.

“Why did you make K… Him taboo?” Virgil growled. He could understand Janus’ position on most things. Though they rarely agreed. Virgil had supported the others in the decision to stay true to Thomas’ true self as opposed to pretending so they could fit in. He wasn’t sure if he liked the consequences of this decision, but the alternative had filled him with even more dread. He could not let Thomas put himself in a situation where every action actually had to be second guessed in order to keep up the act.

Janus had understood his position too and there were no hard feelings.

But this… This was a bit too far.

“No use in dwelling on the past Virgil. Surely you see that? The taboo has been in place for years and you only now noticed?” Janus pointed out.

“Because no one else was talking about him! Do you know how often I hid away to mourn him on my own because I thought no one cared!?” Virgil demanded. Janus was a bit taken aback by this and even looked a little guilty. He had resented Patton for using Virgil’s grief to get closer to him, but was making King a taboo really necessary? Had it been right to deny Virgil the ability to talk through his grief?

“That’s not important though. Roman is asking about him and I don’t care if you hated him. Roman needs…”

Suddenly Virgil was shoved against the tree, a hand on his throat.

“How dare you? How dare you say that I hated him!?” Janus growled. “You know nothing!”

“Wha… What am I supposed to think?” Virgil gasped. “With how you always hid from him. What he did to you. And how you treated the twins at first,” he explained as he tried to break free from the grasp. “You never told me anything. No one did. Not even him!”

Then the grip was gone and Virgil fell to his knees. Coughing something fierce.

“I’m sorry. You are right,” Janus admitted, trying to collect himself again. He shouldn’t let it get to him. It’s been years.

“But the past is in the past. There is no use upsetting anyone by bringing it up,” Janus decided. “Roman thinks he’s falling short. I need to talk about Him to explain that he isn’t!” Virgil insisted.

Janus was silent for a moment. “Fine. You have an hour.” Janus allowed.

Virgil didn’t waste a moment and hurried to Roman’s room where he found everything set up for movie night.

“Are you sure you have time for a movie? We can do this some other day or…” Roman wondered, playing with his sash nervously.

Virgil rarely saw Roman so insecure. Only when they were alone together. Was it ecause he was anxiety? Did he somehow affect the others the way his corner of the mind would?

Or maybe, maybe Roman just let down his guard around him. Remus had that with Jan, Virgil could tell the chaotic side went to the willow when he was feeling down and he was always in better spirits when he returned. It was a relief to know that Remus had someone to rely on when Virgil couldn’t be there.

King used to sometimes show him a brief glimpse into his fears and insecurities, but that was it. Virgil couldn’t recall a single time he actually admitted to those things out loud. He might’ve that day. But not to him.

Virgil didn’t know why Roman would turn to him of all sides if that was what this was, but he would do his best to be there for him regardless.

“I’m never sure. But I made a decision. Let’s do this,” Virgil said as he sat down next to Roman who started the movie. Virgil didn’t even register which one it was. Just that it had the Disney theme music at the start.

“King was my first friend,” he started.

“He was… larger than life. Always seemed to know just what to do, though he was winging it most of the time. Making a plan was not his strong suit,” he recalled fondly.

“He messed up a lot actually, though I didn’t always see it like that at the time.

He had a very hard time listening to others. Pat and Logan had the hardest time getting through to him. He would take time to listen to me, but mostly to put my worries at ease. Sometimes that would lead to an idea and he’d be off creating something. I remember chasing after him a lot.

He struggled giving other’s credit for their work at times, though he tried, he just always had to work in a complement for himself as well. And you would never catch him admitting he had flaws.

I cared about him. More than I ever got to tell him. But he wasn’t perfect Ro. And that was fine by me,” he explained. Roman was listening with wide eyes to this story, the most he’d ever heard anyone say of his and Remus’ original form. This was the most he’d heard Virgil say in one go to be honest.

“Was he handsome?” he then asked.

Virgil laughed at that. “Really? That’s what you want to know?”

Roman’s firm nod made Virgil roll his eyes. “I guess,” he shrugged. “Not as handsome as you though,” he assured the prince. Roman chuckled and punched Virgil’s shoulder. “Stop it! You’ll make me blush!”

They laughed together a bit and then Virgil got serious again.

“My happiness didn’t fall solely on him though. Pat and Lo were there for me too. Even Dee helped out a few times though we only really got close after… Anyway. It wasn’t his job to make me happy, and it isn’t yours. We do this stuff together, all of us. Right?”

Roman nodded. Right. The six of them together. It was hard to remember that he could rely on them sometimes. He was a Prince. Wasn’t he supposed to be able to fix things on his own? To protect them?

But Virgil doesn’t lie… So maybe he could try to allow himself to need the others…

Then Virgil sighed. “IF, we try out, we have to be super prepared. I don’t want to hear you complain about having to practice our audition song over and over. Got it?”

Roman’s face lit up at that. “You mean it?” he asked.

“IF,” Virgil repeated. “We have to talk about it with the others first. This’ll affect all of us,” Virgil warned. “And only if you promise.”

Roman nodded. “I promise! Let’s go tell the rest now!” And just like that the movie was abandoned in favor of rushing to meet the others in the front of the mind.

Needless to say Thomas got cast and while it all was a lot of hard work, Thomas never felt so at home as in the theater.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Ant, Uber, and the true nature of money

The US election news has largely overshadowed a seismic moment in global finance: Ant, a fintech company that spun out of Alibaba/Alipay, was scheduled to have the world's largest IPO, topping even Aramco, the Saudi sovereign wealth fund.

Then Chinese regulators canceled it.

As Yves Smith writes in her excellent Naked Capitalism breakdown, the consensus narrative on this is capricious Chinese regulators changed their minds and jerked the rug out from under Ali's billionaire owner Jack Ma.

The reality is a lot chewier.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2020/11/china-takes-step-against-securitization-consumer-borrowing-with-suspension-of-ant-ipo.html

To understand it, you need to understand the difference between the Chinese and American "money story." In the US, there is widespread, unquestioning faith in the fairytale that money predates the state and is separate from it.

In this story, people come together to trade but are plagued by disparate goods: if I want to pay for your chickens with a cow, how do you make change? They spontaneously decide that something (gold?) is money and price their cows and chicks in it.

Then, governments come along tax our gold away, and then to add insult to injury, governments abandon gold and insist that paper is as good as gold, print too much of it and crash the economy!

This probably sounds familiar to you, but it's just not true.

The actual historical reality, supported by history, archaeology and anthropology, is that governments created money by creating tax. The first "money" was the Babylonian ledgers that recorded how much of their crops farmers owed to the state and their creditors.

Money took a leap forward with imperial conquest: emperors solved the logistical problem of feeding and billeting their occupying soldiers by charging the occupied a tax that had to be paid for in coins stamped with the emperor's head.

They paid the soldiers in these coins, and demanded that their conquered populations somehow get the coins in order to pay their tax, with violent consequences if the tax wasn't paid. So the people sold food and other necessities to soldiers to get the coins.

Money, in other words, is how states provision themselves, and it derives its value from the fact that you have to pay your taxes in it. Governments spend money into existence by buying labor and goods from the public, and then tax it out of existence once a year.

The money the government spends, but does not tax, is the public's money - the money left over for us to transact. All the money in circulation is the sum total of all the money the government spent but didn't tax - that is, the government's deficit is the public's asset.

When governments run "balanced budgets" (or budget surpluses), they remove money from the economy, leaving the public with less to spend. That can be a good thing - a way to fight inflation, which is when too much money chases too few assets.

Low government spending slows growth by taking away the private sector's ability to spend. When the private sector is at full employment, when it is buying all the stuff that's for sale, you need to do something to keep inflation at bay.

During WWII, the USG competed with the private sector for stuff and labor. Uncle Sam spent lots of new money into existence, paying people to build munitions - but then convinced people to buy war bonds, burying that new money for years to come.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2019/07/taxes-for-revenue-are-obsolete.html

But when governments run so lean that there isn't enough money in the economy for the private sector to buy the stuff it needs, it seeks out other forms of money, like bank loans (which generate interest income for shareholders - one reason the market likes austerity).

In theory, bank lending is tightly regulated. Banks are the government's fiscal agents, creatures of the state, only able to trade because of a government charter. But when there isn't enough money in the system, unregulated banks spring into existence.

Another word for "unregulated bank" is "fintech" (h/t Riley Quinn).

And now we're back to China and the money story. Chinese finance regulators have always treated money as a public utility, to be spent or withdrawn to accomplish public purposes.

During the country's rapid industrialization, regulators loosened the flow of money to allow for rapid capacity-building, directing the country's productive capacity to building factories that would multiply that capacity.

But when they shut off the spigot and told factory owners that their future growth would come from making and selling things, the wealthy rebelled and sought out money from unlicensed banks or banks that were willing to break the rules.

This led to a string of subprime debt crises over the past five years, as regulators crushed these wildcat money-creators as fast as they popped up.

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2016-02-17/china-s-600-billion-subprime-crisis-is-already-here

China's 1% fought back. They emigrated:

https://www.macrobusiness.com.au/2012/08/rich-chinese-flee/

They used cryptocurrency (aka fintech) to evade capital controls, inflating the Bitcoin price-bubble and the Vancouver/Sydney/etc real-estate price bubble as they laundered their money and stashed it in safe-deposit boxes in the sky:

https://www.ft.com/content/bad16a88-d6fd-11e6-944b-e7eb37a6aa8e

As China's shadow economy ballooned it also grew in criminality. There was the wave of Chinese debt-kidnappings, which became so widespread that hostage-taking was described as "China's small claims court."

https://foreignpolicy.com/2017/08/08/chinas-police-think-hostages-arent-their-problem/

No wonder regulators fought back.

China's regulators didn't win a decisive victory, but they retained enormous control over their money-supply, and that REALLY paid off when the pandemic hit and they suspended all debts, rents, and taxes and mothballed the entire productive economy.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/01/cant-pay-wont-pay/#jubilee-now

Contrast with the US where the finance sector is an industry, not a public utility. Finance flexed its political muscle and diverted nearly the whole stimulus to itself, then crushed the productive economy by demanding debt service and rents.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2020/09/michael-hudson-how-an-act-of-god-pandemic-is-destroying-the-west-the-u-s-is-saving-the-financial-sector-not-the-economy.html

The ability to use finance as a utility is one of China's crucial assets, and it defends that asset ferociously. And THAT'S why the Ant IPO got killed. Ant's major source of income is short-term, high-interest lending, what Chinese regulators call "pawnbrokering."

China's pawnbrokers are a $43B shadow banking sector, and the country's regulators have been cracking down on them for the past year.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-12/china-is-said-to-scrutinize-43-billion-pawn-shop-lending-boom

$43B is a drop in the bucket of China's shadow economy (valued at $9T!), but it has real metastatic potential.

Ant's innovation is to fintechify the pawnbroker industry, by tying it to apps (on the front end) and to a US-style debt-brokerage (on the back end).

IOW: Ant's business model is that desperate people use an app to request and quickly receive high-risk, high-interest loans.

Then Ant sells the loans to "investors" (AKA "securitization"). Converting debts into income streams for third parties is the true basis of the finance industry. It's the means by which socially useless intermediaries extract ever-mounting rents from the productive economy.

And as Smith writes in her breakdown, the fact that Chinese finance regulators weren't going to let Ant explode his mass-scale, app-based payday-lending pawnbrokerage is not a surprise. They've been telling Jack Ma this for MONTHS, publicly and privately.

Ma thought he could simply bull his way past the Chinese regulators - that because he runs Alibaba and its subsidiaries, that they would defer to him. But the whole point of a finance regulator is NOT to let the finance sector write its own rules.

That's because bankers will cheerfully set the whole economy on fire to turn a buck (see, e.g., America).

Ant was on track for the largest IPO in world history due to investors' appetite for converting Chinese money from a public utility to a private enrichment vehicle.

So yeah, you're goddamned right the Chinese regulator wasn't going to let him do it. Their whole JOB is to not let him do it.

If you read this far, you may be asking yourself why, if governments don't need taxes to fund programs, they bother to tax at all?

There are two important reasons. The first is to fight inflation, by removing existing money from circulation so that when the government spends new money into existence to pay for the things it needs, that money isn't bidding against the existing supply.

But the other reason is to deprive the wealthy of the power that money brings, lest they use that power to pervert policy. Jack Ma's billions are what got him to the brink of a disastrous IPO for his unregulated bank.

And the US election demonstrates just how badly public policy fares when concentrated money is brought to bear on it for parochial purposes. Take Prop 22, the California ballot initiative to allow Uber and Lyft to misclassify their employees as independent contractors.

No on Prop 22 is a no-brainer. Vast numbers of gig workers are full-time employees, not contractors, and Lyft and Uber and other gig economy companies have pioneered labor misclassification as a tactic for paying literal starvation wages.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/14/final_ver2/#prop-22

And yet, Prop 22 passed, thanks to the largest-ever spending on any ballot initiative in California history: $205 million ($628,854/day!), spent pn 19 PR firms (including Big Tobacco's cancer-denial specialists).

https://jacobinmag.com/2020/11/proposition-22-california-uber-lyft-gig-employee/

The spend included a bribe to the NAACP Chair's consultancy that made sub-minimum wage jobs with no benefits for people of color (the majority of gig workers) seem like a blow for racial justice.

All told, Uber/Lyft's campaign outspent 49 out of 53 CA House races COMBINED.

And it was a bargain. Lyft and Uber have stolen $413m from California's employment insurance fund since 2014 - and that's just one cost they ducked through this victory. Far more important are the savings they'll realize on worker safety and job-related death claims.

The gig economy companies are the epitome of the financial economy destroying the productive economy. None of these companies turn a profit, after all - all they do is destroy actual, profitable businesses.

Currently the entire restaurant sector is being laid to waste by Postmates and Uber Eats (even as both lose vast sums):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/19/we-are-beautiful/#man-in-the-middle

And the workers who lost out with Prop 22 are being "chickenized" - having all the risk of operating a business shifted onto their side of the ledger:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/14/poesy-the-monster-slayer/#stay-on-target

(No surprise, one of Prop 22's signature achievements was denying workers the right to unionize).

The desperation of chickenized workers is downright dystopian:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/02/free-steven-donziger/#phone-trees

and chickenization (not automation) is the major cause of falling wages:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/17/on-face-interaction/#zombie-robots

Lyft, Uber, Postmates, and the whole gamut of gig economy companies are all haemorrhaging money. Uber alone lost $4.7B in the first half of 2020. That's how you can tell they aren't tech companies: tech companies profited during the pandemic.

Gig-economy companies aren't part of the productive economy - they're part of the finance economy. They rely on investors, not profits from delighted customers, to stay afloat. They make nothing. They destroy everything: workers' lives, productive businesses.

They will never be profitable. Ever.

Take Uber. The company only exists because the Saudi royals amassed so much money that they could bend reality. The "Saudi Vision 2030" plan calls for the creation of new sources of post-oil wealth.

To that end, the Saudis have poured money into the Softbank VC fund, which then supported global-scale, money-losing, predatory businesses in the hopes of securing a monopoly (or, failing that, unloading the company onto dazzled suckers).

When the company IPOed last year, it had already lost $10b. It loses $0.41 on every dollar you spend on your fare. And yet, the Saudis got away clean, off the backs of investors who assumed that a pile of shit this big must have a pony under it somewhere.

Some believed the company's lies about the imminence of self-driving cars. Uber is not going to make a self-driving car.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/30/death-to-all-monopoly/#pogo-stick-problem

Some believed the company's lies about profitability via growth. It can't grow to profitability. By its own disclosures, profitability depends on every public transit system in the world shutting down and being replaced by Ubers. #Nagahappen.

https://48hills.org/2019/05/ubers-plans-include-attacking-public-transit/

The Saudi strategy - and its punishing, economy-destroying reality-distortions - are exemplary of what happens when government let too much money accumulate in unaccountable, private hands. Prop 22 will kill and starve workers, and the public will pick up the pieces.

The businesses that profit from these deaths and immiseration will fail anyway, but not before their major backers and top execs make hundreds of millions or billions.

Recall: the Ant IPO was set to smash the existing record: Saudi Aramco (AKA the money behind Uber).

Meanwhile, all the blood and treasure squandered on Prop 22 - the $205m spent on the Yes side, the $20 spent by unions on the No side - won't save Uber or other gig economy companies.

Not only are they bleeding money, but as Edward Ongweso Jr explains, "Uber is losing legal challenges in France, Britain, Canada, Italy," turning drivers into employees or allowing "lawsuits reclassifying them as such."

https://www.vice.com/en/article/3annmb/proposition-22-passes-in-california-but-uber-and-lyft-are-only-delaying-the-inevitable

And other US states - NY, MA, NJ - are working to end the misclassification of Uber drivers and other gig workers.

Permitting Uber and other gig economy companies to flout the law did not make the economy better. All it did was transfer more money to the wealthy.

And the money they wealthy amass is converted to political power, usurping money's role as a public utility and converting it to a means to seek private gains at public expense.

[jolivia-things]

She posted AGAIN after we got pics. That seems to be her routine now to make sure she gets enough clicks and engagement after the PR show on the weekend. Idk if I should laugh at the ridiculousness or pity her for trying so hard to be an influencer when she’s nearly forty with two kids, nearly two failed marriages and an „career“ that never actually started. She will always be in the shadows of the guys she’s linked to. And what kind of „girlboss move“ is that supposed to be? Selling cheap cosmetics on the internet? She’s literally the epitome of a woman in a midlife crisis who is highly unsatisfied with her life and who tries everything to be seen as the most influential woman out there even if she’s just a talentless, sad woman who it seems doesn’t even values her kids much. I think she likes to „use“ them especially on sm to „show what a allround talent and perfect mother and girlboss she is“ even though she’s the exact opposite and acts pretty juvenile and only cares about herself and how the gp sees her. I don’t think she comprehends that she’s a laughing stock for most out there, she’s wearing blinkers and only has one goal rn: get attention to break even with DWD to be seen as an respected director in Hollywood. But I can tell you, she might manages to break even if she’s lucky but she won’t ever be a big or successful director or anything.

It's a weird method she's chosen to remain in the spotlight because I actually think she could let her work speak for itself and be famous enough. She's like a duck furiously paddling to stay afloat and for what?