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eeveearoace · 4 months ago

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I am asking you about your blorbos :3

Go wild

OMG OMG OMG HAI OWL HAIIIIIIIIIII

*deep breath in* alright, SO!! i'm having blorbo thoughts again bc. blorbossssssssssssssssss </33333333

my brain has been. my mind has been completely consumed by undertale. this happened in middle school, too, but i was able to escape. but now the obsession is back and i fear i will never be free again (do i want to be free?? idk. i mean it does make me very, very happy, so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

ANYWAY!! the. the human characters. are so overlooked. which, i mean, makes sense!! since we know so little about them. for most of them, we only know two items associated with them, their soul color/ trait, and. maybe death order?? (altho the fic i'm working on has it's own death order but thugorehjoifejfoierjer that's another thing entirely)

but. BUT. chara dreemurr. chara dreemurr my FUCKING BELOVED. i need to put them in the centrifuge for all of eternity. i need to tear them apart limb from limb with my own two hands and then put them back together again. and then send them to therapy because jesus fucking christ you are a CHILD and you canonically tried to kill yourself twice (and succeeded the second time)

what were you running from?? what made you so miserable that you wanted to die?? why do you hate humanity so much?? did you expect to survive that fall?? did you hope you wouldn't?? what were you expecting would happen next?? did you know where you were going?? or did you just hope it was all going to end, that you'd be free, that you'd finally be able to escape whatever hell forced you to take such drastic action??

my blorbo. chara heckin' dreemurr. i love you so much. you had so many problems, but you were just scared, weren't you?? you were just a child. i don't know what happened to you, but whatever it was, you didn't deserve it.

you finally found a family that loved you. you were scared to let them in, to care about them, to show them your flaws and your scars because you never knew unconditional love, a family that would care about you even if you fucked up. but they win you over. you're reluctant to call them your family, reluctant to call them your mother, and father, and brother, not because you don't WANT to, but because you feel you don't deserve it.

is this when you start to hate humanity?? or did you always hate them?? maybe you were already beginning to hate your own kind, but this just solidified it. humans are hateful, and spiteful, and cruel, but not monsters. all of the humans you knew were awful, so you just assume that all humans were like that.

you're happy. or, at least, you're relatively happy. you don't have the frame of reference to realize, oh, i'm still depressed as fuck, actually. you're healing, but you still feel out of place, because you don't really belong here, do you?? and you feel guilty for eating their food, and using their crayons, and sitting in their chairs, because your own family, your original family, despised you just for existing.

you find a way to pay them back.

it scares you.

but you owe them this, don't you?? if you die, they can be free. sure, a few more humans will have to die as well, but if they're half as bad as you are, they deserve it.

so, you poison yourself. you get your brother to agree to your plan. you're being pushy, and part of you feels bad for making him do this, but it'll be worth it. they'll be free. and you'll be... you'll...

... you've been living on borrowed time, anyway.

your death is slow and agonizing. you're bedridden for days. you're unconscious most of the time, but that just allows you to slip into a world of nightmares. your organs are failing, and your family cries as they tell you that you'll be alright, just stay determined, but you already know. you knew from the moment you swallowed those goddamn flowers that you were going to die.

for the first time you can remember, you're not sure if you actually want to die. but you don't get a choice. you owe them your life -- and, now, that's a debt you're going to repay.

your brother absorbs your soul and crosses the barrier. your shared body feels all wrong -- too tall, too furry, too magical, too ALIVE. whatever. it's not like this is a permanent thing, anyway.

the humans, predictably, attack your shared body. your old body is clutched in your arms -- you're not sure whose idea it was -- and then humans just assume your brother killed you. they attack, which is fine, because you had to kill some of them, anyway--

-- but your brother resists.

you don't understand. these lives aren't worth saving...!! and this was the plan. this was what you had to do to save everyone!! but he resists, and you're panicking, because they're going to kill him. if he doesn't want to go along with the plan anymore, that's fine, that's okay, you'll forgive him for that, but please, PLEASE, just fight back, don't let them kill you, PLEASE...

your plan leaves you both dead. and everyone is still trapped.

you wake up.

wait.

what?

but you-- didn't you-- how are you--

you're still dead.

you're a ghost now. you've woken up angel-knows-how-many years later. for some reason, you're stuck with this stupid human child. nobody else can see you -- or, well, ALMOST nobody else can see you. turns out other ghosts can see you, too.

you have no interest in becoming the human's friend. they try to befriend you, but they also try to befriend EVERYONE. you aren't special, and you figure they'll stop trying to befriend you soon enough. you hate humans -- you'll never forgive them for what they did to you, and you'll never forget they were the ones that killed your brother, even if you played a part in that, too... but you're a human, as well. it's just more proof.

the human you're stuck with has weird time powers, apparently. nobody else remembers, but you do. they seem just as surprised about all of this as you are.

you're... finding yourself beginning to hate them a little less. it's strange. they're the one thing you hate most -- and yet, you're not sure you hate THEM. you don't understand. is this just another trick??

they trust you more than they should, just like your brother did. and that trust gets them killed, too -- but, not permanently this time. weird time powers, or whatever.

they're a good person. better than you ever were.

you're not sure what to think anymore.

#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i needed that #owl thank youuuu <3 #i could write for HOURS (if i had more time)#i know this is really disorganized and rushed at the end. but. ye :3 #chara and frisk i am holding you in my teeth and shaking my head violently to and fro #owlfacenightkit #moot stuff

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my-castles-crumbling · 7 months ago

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Hey. I will vent. And I am sorry.

Gifted kid burn out here. Can't say I am intelligent naturally because it's 'bragging and egoistic'. Can't say I am hardworking bc I am not and that would be lying. I am always the guy that says I didn't study and get above 80, but I really didn't, I didn't lie.

Now I go to harder classes, and I have to study because it's hard, and everyone else can study bc they are used to it, and I can't bc what the fuck is studying, I am smart enough to win my school but not smart enough to be the best like I used to, now my parents hate the way I am average in school, I got 78 in two tests, I am crying bc wtf I should have got more and most of them are not even hard questions I just mix up bc of my mental illness its hard to read and concrete and I can't tell my parents that because: it's all in your head and you can heal if you want to, just pray God and try to study.

But I can't and I try I never studied before I tried every fucking way and I hate myself because on surface my family is 'not stressing and love me no matter what' they say that so they think it's not their fault, but they are too damn controlling and I am not smart enough anymore so I can't explain them anything and if I do something wrong it's always "but you were more confident before!" "Did we fail raising you?" And they don't mean anything bad but they are literally manipulating and worst thing is they don't even realize they are so goddamn controling I can't even exit home wtf I cant close my door I cant go to a cafe to buy a coffee on my way home without asking them for permission

They say it's good to socialize with friends once in a while and they mean once or twice a year like what.

Now school is stressful I have several mental issues I suffer my therapist said but didn't to my family bc we didn't go to the actual doctor bc 'those pills are bad for your health and has a lot of bad sides' then she said she doesn't want to be the reason for my sadness so I can buy it if I want but the way she said that was so to make me feel bad and is actually more like 'i am allowing you on surface but if you actually do it won't end good's tone dykwim? I want to cry like what. My brothers are away and I don't want to bother them calling too much bc they are in uni.

Anyway sorry for venting.

Hi!

Please don't be sorry <3

'gifted kid burnout' is SO common and so frustrating, because I think it's one of the many ways the education system is set up to fail 99% of learners. You aren't the problem, the system is (and I say this as a teacher).

Do you have a supportive teacher you could reach out to, to help you? If not, I'd be happy to give you some suggestions, I just don't want to overwhelm you <3

Naming you hardworking anon!

#asks #ask #ask cas #hardworking anon

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stickyspeckledlight · 18 days ago

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Belated 3.2 thoughts! Tagging @harmonysanreads tho bc I feel that I have extra to say that you’ll find *interesting* (it’s the bottom section lol, u can skip over my nitpicky castorice thoughts)

Screaming is in the read me, my moots do not need a whole ass block of text to sift thru

Bro wtf why can’t these people be happy istg—

So, everything in order: anaxa, castorice, and then herta and the express

Anaxa was honestly the highlight for me. I honestly did, when I first saw him, thought he’d be kinda boring, since he’s the third kinda rude smarty smart male scholar character hyv has released (I.e Alhaitham and ratio). But they managed to make him standout; it’s really amazing how characterization and more importantly, motive, do end up making all three of them so distinct from each other.

I’ve seen some ppl say they disliked the anaxa and council of elder stuff the most, so it seems I’m the minority, but I did quite like it. I am a sucker for political intrigue, so I did find that enjoyable; and while he did get relegated to exposition, I found myself forgetting it was exposition and time bc goddamn cerces/calypso is such a fucking troll and shit talker. Like, deadass I LOVE her bc she’s just so classy and sassy. Her and Anaxa’s interactions are second only to him and aglaea who are funny bc they can’t hate each other that much like omg

And also. Just seeing him being autistic as fuck is nice. How many people do you think laugh in madness while ripping a coreflame from their chest? And don’t get me started on THAT cutscene of him at the assembly. While the beginning with him might’ve dragged on it a bit, for the most part I think he was used well and didn’t overstay his welcome too much…which, speaking of…

Castorice. She’s well written and I have a much better opinion of her than I did before. Unlike with firefly, they actually TOLD US HER BACKSTORY IN THE MAIN FUCKING STORY RATHER THAN PUT IT IN AN SUPPLEMENTAL ANIMATED SHORT (I am still baffled to this day by the…choices made with firefly. Like, she’s not a particularly complicated or even unique character—but they put more time into a cute date than…than actually telling us wtf her deal was. At least it was funny that we were allowed to be mad sus abt her lmaooo).

But…if I’m being honest, her animated short, which did play during the game, and that ending stretch with polyxia, is kinda the peak of her character, in terms of my personal emotional investment.

Conceptually, I think she’s a really unique spin of these sorts of Grim Reaper characters—for one, I think the philosophy of death she grew up with actually really added to her, and the fact she has every reason to be anything but the kind hearted and compassionate girl we meet is admirable. She has a really beautiful story all things considered; unable to embrace people without them withering, cursed to always be alone and distant from people, who still kept her kind heart even if it really just was causing her pain, then trying to defy her fate before she does end up sort of succumbing to it, but weirdly ends up there by her own hand; I like how she questioned her fate, of if she should become the demigod, and dreaming of ridding the world of death (because shes been forced to be surrounded by it far too much, bc like, that executioner shit. That honestly ducks if up if nothing else—), only to conclude that she will not do so, but ensure that death can be peaceful, and bear it as it’s on the same coin just as life is. This is kinda of a botched telling of it, but it really is a beautiful story.

If only it wasn’t so…so dragged down.

Hyv games in general have this problem of overly poetic and dense language—which, is a side effect of it being written in Chinese, which is a language that’s able to be much denser. There’s not much getting around it, but at some point I really was just skipping thru castorice’s story at points bc I was feeling myself lose all mental cognitive ability. And like. I am quite literally a person who does talk like I’m in a book to some extent (don’t think abt how bricked my social aptitude had to be for that to even develop rofl). Usually, this aspect of hyv writing doesn’t tend to really bother me—and I mean, I was even able to enjoy and get really absorbed in the part of the quest everyone else was complaining about.

Maybe it’s just because I knew what was coming with castorice—while she has a really good premise, it was also just really obvious what her arc was going to be. “I can’t understand why people embrace death” well it’s because death gives meaning to peoples lives, as it grants access to the riveting pleasures of the “finite.” But I’ve seen things coming for lots of other characters in this very game like Aven, rappa, and March 7th in her SQ—but I still found myself super invested in them over all. Idk, it just rubs me the wrong way—for all intents and purposes, I should’ve enjoyed cas’ story just as much as I do thinking abt it and all of the beauty surrounding it but…yea, idk, I just didn’t bc at a certain point, I just couldn’t stand all of the waxical prose. I think it might just be her voice acting though—the VA didn’t do a bad job, she was clearly given a direction…but I just didnt like that direction (sorta like with Acheron; she’s also a character I got rlly annoyed with bc of how long her dialogue dragged on lol). Ik her voice is supposed to be soft and gentle, but it ends up making her really not inflect that much? And idk, she’s clearly capable of wider ranges, like back in 3.1 at the grove while being sus of cerces, but her voice acting in this patch just didn’t work for me. Sure, Black Swan does have a really bad curse of only ever being used for exposition, but cmon. Her voice is so nice. And somehow her VA manages to always have it teeter on the edge of being suspicious like she’s always planning, always keeping a secret? Hell yeah I’m listening to her yap.

Still, I think it boils down to: good story, with middling presentation thru out for the most part, and bc of my personal tastes ig, it just didn’t make me fall head over heels with our girl. Which is a shame, but. Y’all will be damned if you don’t see me yap more abt her positively, bc outside of that, I do like her story, and I do wanna gush abt her a little bit. Far from my favorite character, maybe a b tier in terms of how much I actually do like her, but damn boy if I don’t wax abt her thematics a little bit—

Now. Who tf is lygus? wtf is going on with amohoreus??? Is amphoreus just a vessel to keep a lord ravager at bay, which is what makes it continue being cyclical? And again WHO TF IS LYGUS AND WHY DOES HE KNOW ABT AEONS BC HDHDNSNSMSKSSJSJBDHD

Ahem. Now. For what I really do want to talk abt…

@harmonysanreads

I hear you are a debater. And in this patch, we hear phainon excellently apply and use ethos in his speech to the assembly. We get to see anaxa be a little shit there too, and Caenis being a delightful slime ball of a woman.

Phainon is apparently a great debater, and so I must ask…does this part of him, the master orator, so bold he made the gamble of deadass calling everyone there vermin (well, not really, but it was going to cause hella offense no matter what), also elicit praise from you? How would you rate his public speaking skills? How do you think of a man who can be so kind be such a bold orator? Sure, he’s defo not as ruthless as anaxa or even aglaea (but ngl. I want more scenes of aglaea being a sly little slime ball too. Maybe I just love her voice too much but like…powerful scary woman with a sliver tongue yknow). But he’s a hero, so he does know when to stand up for himself and those he protects. So. Um. Idk I think what I’m trying to say is: do you feel like simping more? Bc ngl, the combo of warrior and good public speaker is doing things to me, AND HE HAS TO BE SUCH A FUCKING GOOFBALL AND CUTIE PATOOIE ON TOP OF THAT. I’m not safe. Anaxagoras pls I thought you’d be the man I’d simp for the most from here but no, it’s the fucking dumbass who sauna’d his ass in full clothes versus a guy who got his chest out bare and regularly bathed in boiling water and predictably fainted on the ground like some wet noodle that’s doing me in. Dude. He’s strong. He’s smart. He’s puppy. And he’s also somehow stupid and doing stupid shit. wtf.

Yeah anyway 3.2 overall pretty solid. Could trim some yapping but I liked it; hope to see more cipher, and holy shit you’re right anaxa is fucking dead wtf—

#speckled blabbers #hsr #Honkai star rail #speckled plays hsr #3.2 spoilers #hsr thoughts

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mikibwrites · 2 years ago

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Seven Sentence Sunday Monday

As usual, a day late and several dollars short, but here I am! So uhhh I definitely couldn't decide what to share so I am...coming at this a little differently. Bc I uh...have a WIP problem clearly....

Thank you for the tags @lightningboltreader @chaotictarlos @taralaurel @sanjuwrites @alrightbuckaroo @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut and @carlos-in-glasses ! I think this is the most tags I've ever gotten on a wip share day I was chuffed as hell

Here are (actually, truly) seven sentences:

From Eres Mia (ballet!Carlos):

TK didn’t know what that was about, but his heart squeezed a little; the man looked about ready to collapse then and there for a second.

From TrueBlood Tarlos:

Just as Carlos was about to suggest they stop, he seemed to come back to himself, licking his lips and prying his eyes open to stare down at Carlos with a glazed look in his pretty eyes.

From untitled TWP back to school ficlet:

He came to college to get shit done, to study hard for a degree he isn’t even sure he wants but he knows will please his parents, and he’s having a shit time of it because he can’t stop staring and fantasizing about his goddamn roommate for heaven’s sake.

From untitled country singer/songwriter!Carlos:

He watches for a moment as Nancy presumably finishes up her hilarious story, and his heart nearly skips a beat at the crinkles around the man’s eyes as he lets out a loud laugh that Carlos can almost hear from across the room.

From Of Will and Wildflowers sequel (you guessed it, untitled yet):

“Can I touch you, my love?” he asked into the delicately thin skin just behind TK’s ear, eliciting another of those beautiful gasps of delight.

From The Dining Room Table (tarlos):

Carlos caresses these places, slow and methodical, like he’s checking to make sure that yes, TK is feeling exposed and vulnerable.

From untitled firstprince period drama (I snuck this one in here lol):

"I wish for you both to be happy, so please enjoy my brother's visit, alright?" June's eyes as she stared into his seemed to reach to the very depths of his soul, and Henry was finding it hard to breathe.

Please for the love of all that's holy come scream at me in my ask box about ANY of these lol I'm drowning in wips and I will make it everyone's problem if y'all let me. Not tagging anyone bc nearly everyone did the assignment on the assigned DAY but please take this as an open tag if you'd like to share something and please tag me back!

#seven sentences sunday #except it's monday LOL I do what I want #my fics #tarlos #firstprince #911 lone star #rwrb #added an edit bc it occurs to me that no one knows based on the title lol

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rtgame · 2 years ago

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why does everyone hate overwatch and especially overwatch 2? i know ppl hate it but i never see anyone say why. if anyone else wants to offer opinions in the notes i'd love to hear them. i'm not defending the game(s) i'm just curious

ok so recovering from surgery has fucked up my sleep schedule so bad i'm actually up and at my pc to answer this at 7 am on a sunday bc i have a lot to say and i didn't want to type this all out on my phone lol. (also i have to take my antibiotics in an hour so i might as well get up) this is going to be LONG because i have a lot of thoughts and a lot of reasons

i think the biggest one, just to get it out of the way, is that blizzard had a MASSIVE scandal over sexual harassment. this basically changed everyone's opinions on every blizzard property, but from what i understand, the overwatch team actually didn't have a harassment problem (FROM WHAT I KNOW), but obviously it still affected people's perception of the game and i'm not defending blizzard on this issue. i think several people should die over this.

anyways, i think one of the big things was blizzard randomly announced overwatch 2 back in 2019 to distract from them banning a pro hearthstone player over supporting the hong kong protests in an interview. the development of overwatch 2 brought overwatch 1 to a COMPLETE fucking standstill like. there was literally no actual update for 3 years because they moved the entire dev team to overwatch 2 so overwatch 1 was updated by a skeleton crew, which a lot of people weren't happy about (me included). the only real difference between 1 and 2, when 2 was announced, was that it was gonna have PVE, which was already weird because in the past they said PVE was going to be in overwatch 1 and now it's not?

and then overwatch 2 finally comes out and it's like. there's no PVE. it's "coming later." they later admit that the PVE campaign was cancelled back in 2021 (remember overwatch 2 came out late 2022) BUT THEN KEPT ADVERTISING THAT OVERWATCH 2 WAS GONNA HAVE THE PVE CAMPAIGN? THEY LITERALLY JUST LIED TO EVERYONE FOR A FUCKING YEAR?

it took like 3 years for overwatch 2 to come out and at launch, all it had to offer was 3 new heroes and a few new maps and its like, if they just kept developing overwatch 1 we would've had way more by 2022.

overwatch 2 is also free to play, which is like, that's fine on paper, yay everyone gets to play it, but in practice it means that overwatch 2 is rife with microtransactions. skins cost like $26. new heroes cost AT LEAST $10 depending on when you buy them (or you can spend a ridiculous amount of time unlocking them for free) and its like. i fucking bought overwatch 1 for $40, these characters and skins would've been goddamn free in overwatch 1, i'm not spending money on this. ALSO I SPENT $40 TO BUY THIS GAME WHY THE FUCK AM I SPENDING MORE MONEY TO UNLOCK CHARACTERS???? there's some PVE missions available in game now but they're nothing like what was promised and they. also. obviously. cost. fucking. money. and i already spent $40 on the first game.

also there's a battle pass now for monetization reasons and i fucking hate most battle passes. the microtransactions in this game are fascinating because they make the overwatch 1 loot boxes look good.

also, they started the overwatch league in 2018, which is like, professional overwatch gaming, and i really liked watching it (and even went to some games irl) (i won a raffle there once!), but then they started balancing the game around the pro competitive scene which kinda made it hard for casuals to enjoy because they would keep changing the casual game mode (quick play) to be more in line with competitive, which was getting balanced around like 0.001% of players, which just made it less fun lol.

+ when they released overwatch 2, it went from 6v6 to 5v5 which was a change i never liked because my usual team was 6 people so this means that we have to rotate someone out, and they removed the 2nd tank role when switching the game to 5v5 which was uh... my main role was off tank... which they fucking removed.... because the game's 5v5 now. my main (dva) feels borderline unplayable in 5v5 because she kinda just sucks now lol. idk i don't really like the flow of the game or how short team fights are with 5v5 and i absolutely hate being the only tank. i think 6v6 was the perfect balance for overwatch but that's been thrown out the window.

ALSO they removed capture point maps which i actually did enjoy and im still salty over this

tldr basically it's like. overwatch 1 died for 3 years and blizzard killed its momentum for overwatch 2 but then overwatch 2 has literally nothing new to it and it's just overwatch 1 but worse. we waited 3 years for literally nothing.

although, i will say i saw a lot of people online make fun of the game when they announced lifeweaver because he's, iirc, a pansexual thai man, and honestly, that never sat right with me because like. it was a bunch of online leftists making fun of the game for being.... too diverse? or feeling like it was checking off a list and i was never comfortable with it because like, even just 6 years ago we would not have gotten a character like him in an AAA game. i think it's because one of the studios under blizzard posted their "diversity tool" that they used to diversify their game and it was really fucking weird and gave points to characters depending on their race and sexuality and etc, and i think they even used overwatch characters as an example, which was REALLY weird, because the tool was being used by king and not the team developing overwatch and even the dev team called it out like "we don't fucking use this, what is this shit lol, stop using our characters for this"

also lifeweaver was made by a thai person on the team to represent his own culture so i genuinely don't think he was made with the diversity tool lol.

idk i still think representation is important and i think making fun of him was weird since like. pan thai men definitely exist irl. idk. it was weird as fuck and this is probably the only thing i'll actively defend overwatch on. #LeaveLifeweaverAlone or whatever. i mean he sucks in game but that's bc his abilities are lame and his healing is shit, not because he's pan lol

but also why do they keep making their japanese characters ninjas lol. i like playing kiriko but man why can they all wall climb.

also like, the final thing, regarding everyone else hating it is like, im gonna be blunt, i think a lot of times the internet will just randomly turn on something it loved (marvel (rightfully honestly), borderlands, someone provide more examples) and say it sucks/its cringe/etc because loving something is #Cringe and hating everything is #Cool or whatever, and overwatch has reached that phase of its life, and all the issues i mentioned above really didn't fucking help. the internet adores its hate trains yknow

idk genuinely my relationship with overwatch is super fucking complicated as someone who loved/loves the game. i really do like a lot of the characters and i think the game is still fun SOMETIMES, but it's definitely lost that spark it had in 2016 thanks to shit management and blizzard focusing on the wrong things. i think a lot about a world where blizzard didn't suck and overwatch never had all this shit happen to it.

also WOW IM SORRY this is so rambly i've had like 4 hours of sleep and this is just something i do feel strongly about since the game is/was important to me and quite literally changed my life, so it sucks to see how it turned out. when i was 16 i really was enamored by this game where the whole premise was fighting for the future and it was just optimistic about the future, and i think that really was important for me at the time, as dumb as that is. a game being like "hey, the future's gonna be awesome" during a year that was really nerve-wracking for me was something i did need at the time. it really does suck that overwatch's own future wasn't as bright as the future it was envisioning.

#LONG POST #talking about all this actually made me kinda sad LOL #i would kill to go back to 2016 overwatch genuinely #sorry for dropping this on everyone at fucking 7:30 AM on a sunday

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chvoswxtch · 1 year ago

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hi again, court!

it's once again the anon that sent the massive ass paragraphs rambling about the punisher after i finished watching it. i feel like i should either just un-anonymise myself or give myself a name or something to make it easier to identify myself?? but idk?? i'm still new to tumblr so i dunno how these things work

anyways, just wanted to say, i also am just so happy that they are taking the reboot seriously!! i only really got into like the daredevil/punisher in like the past year or so. so i feel like i don't really have the same grounds to stand on as some longer term fans but i just remember being so disappointed with karen/foggy originally not being part of born again so i'm so so glad that that changed and we have the true trio back. and frank being in it just makes me SO happy because i have become incredibly incredibly attached to frank (it might be a little unhealthy but big strong men who are morally questionable is my type haha)

i totally agree with season 2 feeling rushed, it definitely felt like some of the plots were supposed to be fleshed out more or like storylines would have carried on into a season 3 and billy not being fucked up enough is SO FUCKING REAL. like frank literally BRUTALISED him but he comes out looking okay?? like idk?? it just doesn't look convincing i feel like ben barnes' acting is good and he plays the subtle psycho (though you're right, him being more outwardly bloodthirsty and vengeful would have been AMAZING) but the visuals don't hit right. but this is such a wider issue with pretty actors in hollywood?? especially cause they also did it when he played the darkling in shadow and bone. i dunno if you ever watched shadow and bone but like his character should have been way more scarred but they just didn't make it as brutal as it probably would have been in reality and it makes me so mad because i just don't understand why??

AND THE WILL THING, LITERALLY, WHEN HE FIRST CAME ON SCREEN, I LOOKED AT HIM AND WAS LIKE 'is that?? is that WILLIAM LAMONTAGUE??' and then everytime he came on and was being psycho, i was like 'someone get jj to sort her husband out' and also this is so DUMB but i love to think that this is what will was doing during criminal minds and that's why we never see him, he was just off being pilgrim and terrorising frank, obviously it doesn't really work timeline wise BUT the thought of it just makes me laugh so it is now my headcanon.

I HAVE FOUND ANOTHER MADANI LOVER. that makes me so BEYOND ECSTATIC. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. karen is literally a stronger woman than i could ever be. both with madani and tbh with frank, i dunno how she doesn't crumble in front of either of them. like i wish i had karen's strength. but like yeah if madani even LOOKED at me, i would be spilling all of my goddamn secrets. i'm so glad i'm not the only one who sees the lack of love (i may end up trying to fix that with some fics hehe)! i am such a whore for her, it's actually insane. like the past few days since i finished watching it, she has been on my mind 24/7, what i would let her do to me is EMBARASSING. i love that woman so much and i'm so glad i'm not alone.

i'm done ranting for now but i cannot promise i won't ramble in your inbox again. i truly have punisher brainrot (and criminal minds brainrot too but that's not important right now)

thank you for reading my ramblings again <3

welcome back nonnie!

totally up to you love! if you’re not comfy coming off anon & wanna give yourself a lil nickname, that’s totally fine with me :)

don’t even worry about how long you’ve been in the fandom, that doesn’t matter. you’re here & your opinions & feelings are just as valid as everyone else’s. to your point about big strong men with questionable morals: yes

I haven’t watched shadow & bone but I have seen ben’s character in that role and maybe he’s the problem like maybe they try to make him look bad & it’s just impossible bc it’s ben barnes 🤷🏻‍♀️

LMAO pls that would be so funny. hey will what have you been up to lately? oh nothing just terrorizing the punisher in new york no biggie

karen is a strong woman bc the second frank or madani looked at me like that i’d fold & be like yeah literally anything you want I will give you. if you do end up writing any madani fics pls send them my way! i’ll get around to writing for her eventually. it’s been hard for me to focus on writing anything other than bodyguard frankie bc that’s my baby

I don’t ever not have punisher or criminal minds brainrot so pls feel free to rant with me anytime <3

#court answers #court rambles

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elixirenigma · 2 years ago

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whats wrong with you? did your dad rape you or something?

out of genuine curiosity, what do you want the answer to this question to be? what are your expectations? i know youll likely avoid genuinely answering these questions in favor of more harassment but i just have to ask and hope something gets through to you and i can get some insight. you think i have to have been raped to have some sexual fantasies and to ship a ship? and then, in your mind, that such a horrific experience and thus having these fantasies means your harassment is warranted? if i was genuinely a victim of rape and coping with my problems in a safe but, clearly to you, unconventional way, does that mean im deserving of you in my inbox all the time telling me to kill myself and asking me these obscene questions? like honestly. what is your goal, exactly?

do you think that you are a good person? do you think that good people ask these questions? are you proud of yourself?

im surrounded by beautiful, creative minds of people that im lucky enough to call my friends and peers. im constantly inspired by these incredible people and i find myself expanding my own ideas and trying to improve my art as a result. it's so lovely and invigorating and im so lucky to have found the community i have. sincerely, i hope you find something just as lovely, invigorating, and positive for you bc you need better influences and happier thoughts desperately. you need a community or friends to feel lightness and breathe fresh air with. i can feel your mental deterioration with every single ask. you get worse and worse, descending into your loathing pit of hatred and anger and trying to pull everyone you consider targets down with you.

i am not with you and i never will be. im happy and, even w my problems, i have many, many reasons to live and to keep being happy and getting better and better. my friends and peers, who i mentioned already ofc, are a huge part of that. the creative endeavors ive been allowed to explore and share. i have the cutest little ferrets in the world that i love so dearly, who are happy and healthy and get into things like little scoundrels and are so goddamn cute abt it that i could never be mad at them for it. i love them so much. i have the sweetest little poodles who're both learning to swim right now and theyre adventurous and happy and boy can they bark!!! they get so excited 🥹 and theyre so kissy and have such waggy tails, theyre perfect. i have a good job with flexible work hours, i have friends im surrounded by that support my endeavors w school, work, art, and just the games that i love, and im having a good time. are you???? are you having a good time???? obsessing over me and all of my buds out here? honestly. ask yourself.

"what's wrong with you?"

#my asks #id love a real response #tho ik it's unlikely #but eh i had the time tonight anyways. and now im gonna go fuck goro 😎

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stayxlix · 2 years ago

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helloooo my dearest!!🩵🩵 I am so sorry for not responding for so long! I had a really great time with my friends, but I can't lie, I've been missing you A LOT, Alex😭🩵

I have no idea where to start, so I'll just go on with responding to your reply and we will see how long it will be since I still have to talk about the amazing bomb of a chapter you dropped!!!

I honestly see the thing with having a hard time with showing emotions, but after chap 5, I can assure you that you writing emotions is a literal gift sent by god himself. Thank you. I would also like to point out that I'm getting a little suspicious of Hyunjin in otde but we'll get to that later...🤨🤨

I am honestly so glad I can somehow express how amazing I truly think your writing is! It's really worth every minute that I spend reading it, and I love the fact that I can show you my love for not only your writing, but you too like this🩵🩵 I definitely see why you were so stressed about this chapter, but I honestly have to say that it broke me in half and I want it to run me over. This chap was HEAVEN. so while I do see why you are so nervous, I can still fully assure you that the chap was great and I'm so so proud of you🩵🩵

I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T LIE TO YOU. I LOVE THAT YOU DIDN'T SPLIT THE CHAPTER UP. I ACTUALLY CAN NOT. i was so happy when I saw the word count. I literally slurped up EVERY.SINGLE.WORD. you saying that I'm a gift has also brought me to tears. I'm just so glad that I found you! 😭💗 I love writing my asks, it makes me so excited to see your response later, and I love to also go back ans read through your responses🩵

AND DID YOU JUST SAY THAT MY OPINION MATTERS THAT MUCH TO YOU?!?!?!? I AM LITERALLY DYING. i just appreciate that so much, you don't even know. I honestly had a plan to go through and thoroughly write you every single thing I liked about this chapter, but then it got really long and I realised that maybe I was getting a little too carried away☠️☠️ I wanna say it in some.. shorter way, but now, I have no idea how to put it into words. So here come my feelings about this chapter (VERy VERY shortened down for your own safety☠️😭💗)

FIRST OF ALL. THE TENSION. I TALK ABOUT THIS ALL TIME I KNOW BUT GODDAMN WAS IT SOMETHING ELSE IN THIS CHAPTER. i was getting so nervous when I realised that Chan knew it was mc who killed that guy, and I'm honestly unbelievably curious about Felix's past. Like.. it's a problem😭 but moving on, I really loved how you described their feelings of leaving the hotel behind, and basically driving themselves to an unknown place. It gives off.. really ominous vibes, if that makes sense?? I mean, they have a vague idea of what Miroh should look like, but they don't actually KNOW anything, and that just really hit the spot tbh. The whole feeling of uncertainty kept crawling over me and it felt so ENGAGING OMFG. It feels really dark AND I LOVE IT.

So, moving on to the departing.

I was honestly kinda mad at mc for not going with Lix, but I think that's my personal problem if anything☠️☠️

The growing connection between mc and Jisung is UGHHH IM THRIVING ON IT TBH. I feel squishy about Hyunjin tho bc why🤨🤨are🤨you so🤨🤨close to🤨Felix🤨 BUT I ALSO LOVE HIM SO I'LL LET IT SLIDE JUST THIS ONCE. (If something ever happened betwen them then I'm. I'm gone. Vanished.)

I like how all the boys seem to be growing warmer to mc, and I felt like I WAS GENUINELY RHE FUCKING MC THIS WHOLE CHAPTER BC IT WAS SO INTENSE. i think it might be because the feelings are finally surfacing but OMFG. it feels so real i don't even know how to describe it.

Did I mention that I love jealous Lix???? the way he kept staring at her and omfg when the mc started feeling sick bc of the pollution and jisung comforted her and FELIX WAS JUST LOOKING THEM. OH GOD. I WAS SHAKIMG AND GRIPPING MY PHONE.

Excuse my screaming I'm just not.. over this chapter yet. I'm probably never gonna be over any of those chapters bye.😭🩵

WHEN THEY GIOT TO THE VALLEY?!??! OMFJAKWKWKWNEBWJWKQK THE FIGHT THE EVERYTHING.AJKQKQKWKWK

I somehow really like.. idk felt??? The longing between mc and Lix.. it was literally palpable. (I'm honestly so excited for when they grow more accepting of their feelings and will eventually reach out for each other before others' eyes😭) but it was OH GOD.ALSO HYUNJIN SAVING MC MADE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF IDK RELIEF????

WHEN THEY HAD TO LEAVE THEM THERE??? I WAS FUCNING UNWELL. UNWELL!!!! FELIX TELLING THEM TO GO LITERALLY BROKE MY HEART GOODBYE. I WAS SHAKING.

I honestly knew that Hira friend was trouble from the beginning😪😪 BUT HEY AT LEAST YEONJUN CAME

I was on the edge of my seat and shaking in anticipation the WHOLE FUVKING TUME BEFORE YEONJUN CAME BACK AND SAVED THEM GOODBWKQOQOOWOWJHW

But before that... Hira taking mc's hair and calling it beautiful made my heart skip a beat. Like.. the tension?? AND I DON'T MEAN LIKE MC AND LIX TYPE OF TENSION. i mean like the type of tension where everything just stops and the confusion slowly sinks into you??? Does that even make sense😭??

The little sparkling connection with Seungmin makes me warm tbh I LOVE THEM😭😭

I feel like Hira is the definition of sinister.. I don't even know why.. but the vibes.. the way you described the mc to feel (which is literally how I was feeeling?? wHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS??) is just so sinister.

NOW WHEN I SAW HYUNJIN'S NAME IN CURVISE I DIED. I FELT SO MUCH RELIEF THAT AJWKWKKEKS I AHJWJWJWJS I ALMOST SHED A TEAR.

LIKE?!??!!??! THEY CAME BACK!!!! THEY SURVIVED!!!!!!

I totally get why mc couldn't just run up to Lix and hug his soul out of him BUT DAMN DO I WISH SHE DID. The way they are only looking at each other, and they both feel like they can finally breathe after finding out that the other is safe and sound reall fucking hit me tbh. Got me in the feels and shit 😭😭 i love how they are just unconsciously drawn to each other and don't leave each other's side. Them sitting next to each other at the table MADE ME SO HAPPY!!! LIKE YES GOO LIX!!! NOW NOW NOOOOOW THE TENSION!!! I LOOOOOVED THE WHOLE SCENE AT THE DINNER TABLE!!!! YES!!! it was everything I could ask for. Thank you for this scene bc I pmfajjwkwkwjwjw

"She. Stays. With. Us." he growled through clenched teeth, putting sharp emphasis on each individual word. The roll of bread in his hand crumpled beyond repair as he used every muscle in his body to keep his restraint.

OH MY FUCJIJG HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUVK IN THE FUVKINGQ QKKWLWLWKSKEJEHE I LOVE THIS. I STAND NY TNIS.. THIS IS MY RELIGIINAAAAQK!!!!!?!*×*×

Sorry for the little break down but wow did this particular paragraph get me to my kness.

When she started to laugh, I literally felt the chills in my bod like goddamn woman...😭😭😭 okay now.. I am actually speechless at the smut scene. I don't know what to say other than HolY FUVKING SHINQHQIQOOWP1PP2P2P20282U3G4VRBSNSKAKW929U3UH3EVBE I CANT DO THISm!??!?!?!? What IN TE ORLDKQKQOQOOWKSK?!??+(+[+[2>2<2<3_÷^#

"What, were you worried about me princess?" He mused, poking his tongue into his cheek.

RUN ME OVER!!! THE TINGUE IM CHEEEK!!!! THE NICKNAME!!!!!!))

Anyways. I loved this scene. It was OG GOD. I made sure to listen to half of my heart because OF COURSE I DID. them in this chapter scream half of my heart, thholyghst and again so BAD. LOVED THIS. i really want to elaborate on the smut scene some more but fuck im just so???speechless???wordless??sentenceless??? AND WHEN HE SAID HE'S GLAD SHES OKA Y TOK??!?!?!?!?!

I would like to say that the ending broke me. tHE LAST PARAGRAPH?!?!?!? I' EPSECIALLY??? I'N UNWELL.

So safe to say, this chapter was beyond amazing, and I honestly can't eveb put into words just how great it was.. I really loved it, and I think it deserves the world, just like all the other chapters. I never really mentioned this before, but I really love how you name the chapters and how you put the little poem (???) before the chapter starts. It just.. really speaks to me?? ThaT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT IZ JUST REALLY SETS THE VIBES TBH. i loved all of those 21.1 thousand words, and i will gladly reread it seventy more times.

Thank you for this amazing chapter, Alex🩵🩵

SO.. THAT WAS MY RANT ABOUT THE CHAPTER!! i feel like I'm so far from saying enough, but I tried😭💗

YOSIWJE I WANT TO SHOW OFF YOUR RESPONSES TO EVERYONE AND BE LIKE SEE THIS??? SEE HOW THIS AMAZING AND KIND WRITER ANSWERED ME?? SEE HOW SHE IS THE CREATOR OF OTDE???? Aaaand yes I do write😭😭 it's more of a small hobby, though, because I can never keep a story going for longer 9k words, which could be enough, but it's like once I reach that, my thoughts literally vanish☠️😭 BuT IF I EVER DECIDE TO POST SOME OF MY WORKS I WILL DEFINITELY LET YOU KNOW!!💗

YOU SAYING. YOU. THE CREATOR OF THIS FUCKING MASTERPIECE SAYING. THAT MY MOODBOARD HELPS YOU THIS MUCH LITERALLY KILLED ME. I've never been happier😭😭 I'm so glad I could make something like that I'm honestly pretty sure I will never forget about you and otde.🩵 this story and you brought so much light into my life that it's actually unreal😭🩵 i love supporting this story, and I love showing you my love💗 AAAAND!! THE RED VERSION IS SUCCESSFULLY HERE.

https://pin.it/33YhAC2

I decided to keep it shorter than the last one, since I feel like this already shows what I feel with red💗 though, I am planning to change it up a little bit.. (i was gonna add a red vans pic BUT THERE ARE LITERALLY NONE THAT ARE EVEN CLOSE TO FITTING THE AESTHETIC 😭😭) i hope you like it and I'm excited to see your opinion for it🩵💗

" like even before they SEE each other, maybe they’re just casually at the beach or walking around on the street and suddenly this intense feeling washes over them and they’re like wtf is going on??? why do i feel like this??? and THEN their eyes meet and its just like…..oh. "

OH MY GOD!!! I literally died when I read this. This is literally what I imagined???? wHY IS THIS SCENARIO SO GOOD???

I have no idea what the fanfic was, and it's pretty devastating😭

AND YES IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭 i literally think of mc and lix with this trope in mind.I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE AGREEING WITH MY IDEAS?!?!?!?! I love coming with all these universes where reunite again, and again. I'm so glad you think my ideas are that good😭😭 (AND YES, THAT PIC OF FELIXW WAS EXACZLY WJAT I WAS THINKINV ABOUT WHILE WRITING THAT)

I feel like 2019 worldtour Felix is literally built for the role of a reckless racer. Let's say, the mc dislikes him so much bc she feels like he doesn't appreciate life enough. She's from a not so well off family and he's THE rich guy, like he has it all. He dislikes her because she judges so quickly, but what he loves is that he can't have her. She loves that she can't have him, too. YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?!?!

Another brain rot of today is: ginger lix (I am WHO era) gives off teenage dream by katy perry vibes. it's the type of love where you show each other what it feels like to love. To feel. To touch. To explore. To hurt. I'm literally never letting go of this. Like it's the type of love where not only are you two what you've ever known (childhood best friends who had always been more than just best friends typa beat OMFG) but it's what you'll always know. You give each other your firsts and your lasts. You go through everything together. You're so close that it's like each of you has the half of the other's heart instead of your own. You're so close that you don't even realise how you unconsciously drive everything to fit the other. You do everything to stay together. It's the type of love where you go into a clear lake and just stare at each other, because what is world if not you two? The kind of love that's consuming and neverending. You ruin each other for anyone else. YEAAAH I LOVE THIS.

NOOOW shorter dark mullet Felix with the two longer pieces in the front??🤭🤭 see, this is the one where he's just a simple stoner. Maybe a bit of a bad boy, but it's mostly just messing around with weed. You meet him through a party that your friend had invited you to. This one's kinda simple, bc I'm not too sure how to make it more poetic but you guys are just basically a complete mess together 😭😭 like doing stupid shit together (and kinda ruinimg your lives but it's fiction so where's the problem??🤩🤩)

OMG YES. I HAD TO CHOOSE YARROW!! yarrow symbolizes healing and (everlasting) love, but what it also symbolizes is heartache, war, and cure for heartache SO I'M GUESSIMG YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS😭😭

The tattoo is an amazing idea and honestly IF SOMEONE DID THAT FOR ME I'M ON MY KNEES.

" omg okay in this parallel college/uni world that we’ve created i love this idea that he’s totally obsessed with her (and she’s a bit oblivious lol). like with the hair tie she definitely notices that he never took it off which is just a bit peculiar..but then like you said she starts to notice his fridge is stocked with all of her favorite things and maybe she casually mentions a scent she likes and the next day she catches that specific scent and he’s just like oh yeah just a new shampoo….🤭🤭 (i could go on and on forever but you get the idea) and im totally with you on the fact that thinking about different past lives of theirs might just have become my new favorite obsession.🫢 "

THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH. I AGREE WITH THIS. WUTH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING. This is literally my new obsession wtf I can't. It's the type where he's lowkey like, "everything I do is for you, in a way."

I'M SO GlaD YOU LIKE THE ADDITIONS TO THE PLALIST!! with half of my heart, I feel like I really found the gem tbh. There is also an orchestra version of the song and.. I really can't lie, I'm thiking VERY VERYYY deeply about adding that to the playlist too. The vibes of it are literally perfect I'm dying.

Thank you so much for calling my song choices perfect, you have no idea how much I appreciate that🩵 I try to always find a song that fits the vibe perfectly, and I get so happy when I realise that it really DOES fit, and your face by wisp just kinda hit me. YES SEEN EMOTIONS OVEr HEARD EMOTIONS. The fact that you appreciate my song additions to the playlist this much just makes me AJWKJWSJ I wanna squeal and kick my feet around..😭😭 hearing that I can help you with motivation in a way just makes me happy beyond belief tbh.

(This is so long... I'm sorry😭😭)

I love you so, so much Alex!!🩵 I am again really sorry for answering so late, but I also feel so happy ans excited now that I answered you😭💗 I just wanted to say, that the chap really was amazing( and earth shattering, let's be honest..) and I'm so proud of you!! I'll always try my hardest to support you through your writing, and your blog overall🩵💗 and don't ever be sorry for not sending out the asks the next day, I'll wait for as long as needed🩵 thank you for being so kind and loving, I really and truly wish you the absolute best, Alex.🩵

I love you so very much too. You deserve the world🩵 as always, stay safe and take care. I'll be happily waiting for your reply💗🩵 have the best rest of your week!!🩵

HI HI HIH I🩵🩵🩵🩵YOURE BACK YOURE BACK AHHSODFHOWEKNF😭🩵 i was missing you too last week but im so so happy you had a great time with your friends, and you never ever need to apologize for that!! however long or short it takes you to respond, im always here💕

im so happy to hear that you liked the chapter, the second i released it i was waiting for this very moment so i could hear your thoughts🤭 i really do my best to convey the emotions in this story authentically (despite how difficult it may be) so to hear you say it is “a literal gift sent by god himself” has me S O B B I N G.😭😭😭😭😭 (oh and hyunjin is definitely a bit suspicious isnt he?👀👀) as always my 🩵 your words are so kind and heartfelt, and you express your love for this story SO beautifully. your support is everything to me..and i am so incredibly thankful that we’ve found each other!! its a privilege to me just to be able to know you in this way.🩵🩵 im so sorry that the chapter “broke you in half” lmao i was definitely nervous to release it but i guess this means i must have done something right?😂 not that i actually want you to break in half (or be run over💀) but you know what i mean lol. your encouragement and reassurance mean the world to me, it makes all the hard work and (occasional) stress worthwhile💕💕

AND IM SO GLAD YOU WERE HAPPY I DIDN’T SPLIT THE CHAPTER UP😭 I LITERALLY FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOUR ASKS. so i promise even if you had left your ask the original length, i would have “slurped up” every single word too😂💕 because your responses and reactions quite literally inspire me to write.….so let’s get into this shall we??🤭

i love to hear that you're enjoying the tension in the story!! i feel like it’s such a crucial element in creating a kind of immersive narrative which is definitely a big goal of mine, so this means a lot🥹 and i can’t blame you for being curious about felix’s past (i can assure you it will slowly unfold more as the story progresses🤭) im also in love with the way you talk about your feelings when reading, like especially when you mentioned the group having to leave the hotel and head into the unknown. i really did my best to create the sense of uncertainty you described, so im really happy it resonated with you and i stand by my words when i say that i can totally tell you’re a writer lol. the way you describe your thoughts is so poetic in its own way💕💕

“I was honestly kinda mad at mc for not going with Lix, but I think that's my personal problem if anything☠️☠️”

LMAO right??? I could NEVER.😭😭 mc is way stronger than me, without question.

oh god hyunjin hmmm i think i should just keep my mouth shut here😂😂😭 jisung is my bias wreckerrr (and let me tell you, he does a damn good job) so its a bit of self indulgence that he has such a strong building connection with mc🤭 but im glad you liked that too💕💕AND WHEN YOU SAY YOU FELT LIKE YOU WERE ACTUALLY THE MC IM SHAKING BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY MY GOAL WHEN I WRITE TO JUST PROVIDE SOME KIND OF ESCAPE FOR ANYONE OUT THERE WHO NEEDS IT YOU KNOW????😭😭😭😭 SO FOR YOU TO SAY THE STORY FEELS SO REAL TO YOU MAKES MY HEART THREATEN TO CRUMBLE INTO A THOUSAND TINY PIECES (in the best way)

JEALOUS. LIX. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTEddED if i could fill every chapter with lix being jealous then that is what i would do.😂 seriouslyyyyy. (also the way im envisioning you shaking and gripping your phone is EXACTLY how i reacted to seeing your asks in my notifs lmao) it’s so rewarding to know that the emotions and dynamics between the characters are resonating with you, especially mc and lix. and i completely understand your excitement for their growth and acceptance of their feelings. i know its a bit of a slow burn…as much as i wanted them to hurry up and admit/accept their feelings for each other in like part 2, i have to try and make it at least a little realistic i guess..🥹🥹

WHEN THEY HAD TO LEAVE THEM THERE??? I WAS FUCNING UNWELL. UNWELL!!!! FELIX TELLING THEM TO GO LITERALLY BROKE MY HEART GOODBYE. I WAS SHAKING.

ME WRITING THIS PART. IT WAS SO HARD TO WRITE.😭I HAD TO STOP TO KEEP TAKING BREAKS I SWEAR. im glad you liked the yeonjun cameo🤭 and you hit the nail on the head about hira, i know i can’t give too many spoilers but you’re always in my head so of course you knew she was trouble..and hyunjins appearance got you, huh?😂 it was quite a relief for me too that they survived (even if I knew they were going to😂) i really tried so hard to make it evident how much mc and lix care for each other without saying a word in this scene (which goes back to some of the different versions of them that we’ve discussed in past conversation, so this is just another example of how you’ve motivated me time and time again🩵🩵) and the dinner table scene was SO fun to write ah im so happy that you loved it too ahhhhekjwjh we stan protective rebel lix who stands up for his woman😭💕(your breakdown cracks me up too, please never change🥹)

as for that smut scene...oh lord lol writing those intimate moments is alwaysssss a challenge for me, but knowing you liked it gives me the confidence to keep including scenes like this in the future.🩵🩵 i enjoyed stepping out of my comfort zone a bit too.

RUN ME OVER!!! THE TINGUE IM CHEEEK!!!! THE NICKNAME!!!!!!))

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHEN FELIX DOES THAT TONGUE IN CHEEK THING IT PUTS ME ON MY KNEES EVERY SINGLE TIME.😭 SO THERES NO WAY I WASN’T PUTTING IT INTO THE FIC SOMEWHER.E AT LEAST ONCE😭😭😭

I made sure to listen to half of my heart

I LISTENED TO THIS SO MANY TIMES WHEN WRITING THE END OF THIS CHAPTER. ALSO-i have another song I think might be your style🤭it’s called Stick Around by ENVYYOU (i randomly stumbled upon it but i think it totally fits mc/lix so i added it to my playlist too, and the style made me think of you)

AND WHEN HE SAID HE'S GLAD SHES OKA Y TOK??!?!?!?!?!

ahhh although i had the last paragraph written for a while, this was a last minute addition, so im glad i left it in there🤭 and what you said about the chapter titles and the little poem-like intros makes my heart so happy, they're just kind of my way of trying to set the mood and create a specific type of atmosphere for each part of the story. sometimes the chapter name is the first thing i do, and sometimes i have such a hard time with it that i don’t even pick it until the very end (same with the quotes) but i always try to start out with a theme in mind and go from there. so it really warms my heart to know that they speak to you and add to your reading experience.🥹🥹

i can't thank you enough for your continuous support and love for the story🩵🩵 i’ve said it before and ill say it again, thank you for all of the motivation to keep me writing and exploring these characters. your enthusiasm and dedication mean EVERYTHING to me, and i am so grateful to have you with me on this little adventure. because i truly don’t know where this story would be without you.<33333 your asks and messages are such a highlight to my days. i genuinely look forward to reading them and responding to you as well, and im truly touched that you enjoy going back to read my responses, because to be honest i find myself doing the same thing quite often🤗💕 thank you for being an incredible part of this journey, and thank you for bringing so much joy and happiness to my heart. i can't wait to share more of this little story with you.🩵🩵🩵

YOSIWJE I WANT TO SHOW OFF YOUR RESPONSES TO EVERYONE AND BE LIKE SEE THIS??? SEE HOW THIS AMAZING AND KIND WRITER ANSWERED ME?? SEE HOW SHE IS THE CREATOR OF OTDE????

YOU. ARE. SO. SWEET. MY HEART.😭😭😭 IF I WASNT EMOTIONAL BEFORE THEN I CERTAINLY AM NOW. THIS IS JUST ENOUGH TO BRING ME TO TEARS. 😭😭😭 AND THE RED MOODBOARD?!?! WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ITS BRILLIANCE. you know that ominous/dark feeling you were talking about earlier??? well you PERFECTLY embodied that with this moodboard. and it is SO my style its ridiculous. a fuckin gmasterpiece omfg. im absolutely in lOVE with it. the red aesthetic is so captivating and haunting and it perfectly captures the emotions and atmosphere of otde. the mix of images and the overall vibe you created (with both moodboards) is too good, i can literally see the effort and thought you put into making them and choosing each and every picture<3 (even without the vans, it’s still absolutely incredible🥹) your moodboards have been SUCH a tremendous help in visualizing the world of otde for me that i would recommend everyone who stumbles across my story to take a look at them too<33 and when it comes to your own writing, even if your thoughts vanish at 9k writing is all about enjoying the process and expressing your creativity!!! so whether it's short stories or longer pieces, the most important thing is that YOU find joy in it<3 (but please do let me know if you ever decide to share your works, i would be thrilled to have the opportunity to read them and support you just like you have supported me🩵)

when it comes to our little parallel universes i’m so glad you like my ideas too🥹🥹 i have so much fun bouncing ideas off of each other like this, your ideas are pure genius and can promise you that if you ever did turn them into fics (no matter how long or short) i would read them over and over and over again too. ESPECIALLY one about 2019 worldtour racer felix. the way you described the relationship between the two of them in your ask has me on my knees like i will literally BEG someone to turn this into a fic😭😭 I WANT MORE😭😭😭 PLEASE. AND I LOVE HOW YOU DESCRIBED GINGER LIX TOO. WHY DOES TEENAGE DREAM FEEL LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR HIM.😭 i’ll always have such a soft spot for first loves. the type of love thats innocent but still just as deep and all-encompassing that it's hard not to get swept away by the emotions it evokes, even if they’re young. and the idea of childhood friends who have always been there for each other, who have always looked out for each other, is so heartwarming🥹 like maybe one night childhood best friend lix confesses his feelings for mc, and she looks back on the years they’ve grown up together and realizes he’s been the one constant in her life. maybe she’s had trouble at home or with school but felix has ALWAYS been there for her. that steady safe place. and he’s been proving his love this whole time, she was just too caught up in growing up to realize it until now.🥹🥹 so they become each other's firsts and lasts, experiencing life's highs and lows together through their unbreakable connection. UGH i can see why this idea is taking residence in your mind. and same with stoner lix (i may have a bit of a type, and this is IT). they haven’t known each other forever but they meet at a party (introduced by a friend, like you said) and the next time that same mutual friend wants to hang out, mc and lix are already hanging out and they’re like wait what??? how did I become the third wheel???😂😂 it’s also the perfect setting for adventures with a bit of reckless fun. which is what young love is all about right??? all of these tropes you’ve come up with are the kind of love stories that leave a lasting impact, and i’m so glad you shared them with me. its all such a testament to your creativity and i’m so excited to see where your imagination takes us next.🤭

the yarrow symbolism you've chosen is absolutely beautiful!!! as is making it a tattoo, a permanent mark of their bond, reminding them of the moments they've shared and the love that's blossomed between them even when they’re apart🥹 I CANT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD. and i’ll definitely have to check out the orchestral version of half of my heart because i didnt even know there was one!! its incredible how the right music has the power to evoke feelings and set the mood you know???

and there's absolutely no need to apologize for the length of your ask, your words bring me so much joy and happiness, and i truly cherish every message you send.🩵 im over the moon to know that you loved the chapter and that it had such an impact on you and i can't thank you enough for being such a wonderful and dedicated reader and friend. your kindness, understanding, and patience (with waiting for my responses and my slowwwwwww writing🥹🥹) are so very appreciated, sometimes life gets a little hectic but just know im always here💕 and im beyond grateful for your support for my little blog. you have claimed a very very special place in my heart, and im sending all my love and best wishes your way. take care of yourself, stay safe, and have the most wonderful rest of your week/weekend. i love you so so SO very much, and thank you again for EVERYTHING<333 until we talk again, sending lots of love and virtual hugs to youuu🤗🩵🩵🩵

#otde.feedback #alex answers asks♡#🩵

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arcgayne · 8 months ago

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my reasoning:

(these rankings are based on multiple criteria, such as relatability, hotness, relevance, how interesting they are as a character, and so on and so forth).

1) Jinx: she’s literally me. so silly and mentally unstable. needs therapy so bad and it shows. i fucking love her. please get help queen

2) Ekko: literally has never done anything wrong ever. moral compass strong as fuck. bonus points for looking cool. he’s also literally me but jinx wins over him bc she’s more unhinged.

3) Viktor: my fucking beloved. Do I want to be him? Do I want to be with him? Realistically I want neither of these things but unrealistically I need this man in ways even the hexcore couldn’t comprehend.

4) Mel: God I fucking love a powerful smart beautiful woman. AND she has mommy issues? she’s literally perfect. i’m rotating her in my head as we speak

5) Vi: hot tragic lesbian. almost lost points for becoming a cop but then she quit so it’s all good. for now. I have knowledge about what she ends up doing bc of the video game and I am currently choosing to ignore it in favor of the show timeline. Let me dream.

6) Sevika: hot. muscles. vodka aunt. hot. emotionally unavailable. hot. did i mention hot

7) grayson: i think it’s hilarious that she ranks higher than everyone else below her on this list. she literally only gets points for being attractive. especially her voice like ugghhh. what else can i say.

8) sky: perfect angel. so fucking smart and cool. deserves better. i need to know more about her or i will actually explode. hearing her voice made me so happy y’all have no idea

9) powder: baby. deserves the world. only ranks lower bc she doesn’t exactly “exist” anymore or whatever. justice for powder AND jinx 2025

10) caitlyn: hot. but ew cop moment. the fact that her sympathy for zaunites was crushed so easily really annoys me. like girl do you even have principles. ur revenge era would be cool if it wasn’t police brutality like noooo caitlyn pls don’t let a dictator use you to further destabilize your country for her own gain you’re so sexyyy ahaha… idk man it’s complicated. she should quit her job and get a new one. and then get therapy.

11) Jayce: he’s interesting in that he is a good example of a privileged person attempting to make things better by utilizing the system, only to get sucked into said system, becoming part of it and therefore part of the problem. the road to hell is paved with good intentions. his intentions are so good and yet. he is idiot. I hope Ekko and heimydingy are able to lessen his idiocy.

12) ambessa: hooottttttttttt. so fucking hot. goddamn. have y’all SEEN the music video for blood sweat and tears. i’m fucking FERAL. unfortunately for her, looks aren’t everything and she’s the fucking worst so here we are.

13) elora: beautiful powerful wonderful woman. need more of her. what is her life like. have she and mel ever kissed. much to think about here.

14) heimerdinger: he’s annoying and he doesn’t take the much needed time to explain why he makes the decisions he’s making... but he’s also right. which i hate because he’s annoying. but i also like that he’s annoying because it shows the very true fact that ppl who are annoying can in fact be right about things. also his heist with ekko was funny and endearing so he has that going for him. ekko carried tho ngl

15) vander: he’s cool cuz he’s a swag dad. a kind man and a protective guy. all around a great dude tbh. ranks lower because he doesn’t have any particularly interesting character traits to me.

16) finn: he looks cool as fuck but isn’t relevant and is also kind of an annoying brat. which is funny but like also bro. stop.

17) ximena: literally lost some of her fingers to frostbite to protect her baby child kid son. based. i love her.

18) cassandra: milf. the scene with the her and the gun? cool as fuck. ranks lower bc, again, not very relevant. and also dead lol

19) tobias: imma be honest idrc abt tobias at all i just didn’t want to separate him from his wife. he has enough of that in the show LOL

20) claggor: sweet boy. deserved better. i wonder what he would be like now if he’d been able to grow up.

21) silco: morally i hate this guy but he’s also a fascinating character. he’s cool as fuck and a bitch. plus he does eyeball drugs. there are so many fucked up things about this dude i can’t list them all. overall he’s a very well done character and an absolutely fantastic villain. what a piece of work.

22) benzo: just an all around good dude. ranks low bc he’s extremely irrelevant. sorry dude. if this was a morals contest he’d obv be ranked higher, but it’s not, so here we are.

23) jericho: had to look him up LOLLLL thanks for making food for vi i guess. people who make food for other people are the best. that being said he ranks low because, again, irrelevant.

24) mylo: cringe fail asshole. not ranked last bc he was a kid, so i can give him the benefit of the doubt, cuz maybe he would’ve been a better person as an adult… but also he never got to be one so oops lol get ranked low loser

25) singed: brother euughhh. i like drugs too but not THAT much. maybe give this man some backstory and i’ll care about him. as it stands rn idgaf about this guy. i rebuke thee, get AWAY

26) marcus: fucking piece of shit rat. fuck this guy. selfish coward and i hate him forever. die

Here's a fun little sorter I put together for Arcane characters! Reblog with your list!

Let the sorting commence!

#live laugh love arcane #i’m so normal about this show. btw.

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soulfullionbunny · 11 months ago

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My family told me to flaunt my wealth a bit

i am saving my money for an early retirement. i need to accumulate RM2.5 million for it. so i had to be frugal in my spendings especially now when im young. however, bila my family nampak my current savings, diorng cakap i need to flaunt it a bit for the "street rep".

They say flaunt it to attract people, girls and boys, for networking, life partner, and friends. the logic is sound, sbb i know MOST people is attracted to wealth. it doesnt have to be massive wealth, just a proper clean showcase of finance stability pun dah cukup. thats like 80% of human population. i get it, im also like that.

BUT... ada 1 tiny little smiggle problem... i dont want to attract people that want me just bcs of my wealth. i get it kalau nak kemaskan kereta, or baju yg nampak high quality but my family dont mean that when they say to flaunt. they say flaunt FLAUNT. diorng suruh beli kereta BMW bcs thats how my brother get his wife. they want me to buy unnecessary cosmetics just to appear high standard. that is not me... this actually a very noticeable issue of me and my family. i have no joy in luxury. i am, quoting my mom, "jiwa kecil".

its not like aku x minat langsung... its just aku prefer to be enough rather than lebih. bagi aku "cukup" itu ultimate happiness in life. aku nak rumah besar, tapi x de la banglo istana. nak kereta selesa but not ones whre 50% of its cost comes from its brand. nak baju nak hoodie nak seluar berkualiti but not the goddamn pseudo-luxurious items that were sold to people who loves being walking adverts. i dont see the points of excessive consumptions in our daily life. yes i can afford it, but WHY should i? we are humans, we are not meant to find happiness through goods and services. it would be a neverending cycle. there will always be more expensive items to buy. the rat chase wont stop unless we stop chasing. there is no glory having the latest gadgets or having hundreds of shoes as a collection. just lived within our means. cukup makan, cukup sihat, cukup tidur, cukup selesa, apa lagi kita nak? peace is having enough. patch our greeds or they will stop us from being happy.

This topic also related to late stage capitalism but thats another rabbit hole i need to explain. all of this is just a made up demand, just to serve as a profit maker. i love using cloths as example for late stage capitalism bcs most people relate to it. cloths are meant to fulfilled a demand; covering our bodies from the nature. but then when everyone dah cloths, what next? what happened to cottons, dyes and machines for the cloths? they had to sell other things. so they did. for cloths, they reduce the quality (most products have this) and they also create new demands. the world starts to rot when statuses were sold in the market. cloths no longer to keep us warm but they are a statement, a status, a pride. when necessities no longer filled the wallet, wants became their cash cows. serious aku boleh talk about this for hours and it will only scratch sikit of what the world has become. the fall of community life, monies and inflations, artificial panics and urgency, and chasing infinite growth on finite resources.

people who are too shallow sampai can only judge the world using lens of bottomless greed have no right to be in my life. if they cant be happy by having enough, then i cant satisfy them.

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slice-of-rye-bread · 1 year ago

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tag yourself as a small fraction of the things my classmates have said this school year:

(under the cut bc there's 45 of them)

"I'm so lucky I was born with balls."

"CAUCASIAN. SKITTLES."

"(name), you're my favorite green bean!"

"You two are the solitary reasons we will never achieve world communism."

"Excuse me sir, but may I take a bite of your chromosome?"

"My tits are elevated."

"Hey where's my pencil?" "I ate it."

"We should abolish Kentucky."

"The four horsemen of the apocalypse make me so happy!"

*delighted gasp* "opium~"

"I love fingering fruits!!!" (the "fruits" in question were raspberries)

"Remember guys, Omaha means family"

"I am a lovechild of God!"

"Baguette study guide, oui oui croissant worksheet."

(singing whilst playing piano) "I love Ohio~"

"You can only be wrong eighteen times, then the government kills you."

"I have father issues."

(on phone) "Hey, mom. Why does my lettuce taste like milk?"

"I was doomed to fail from the start." "Yay! :D"

"TEACHER, SHE KILLED MY SON!!"

"(Name), your bagel is homophobic."

"Don't come near me, I have tuberculosis and don't want to infect you." "What about them?" "I don't mind them. You have potential."

"How do you say, 'left to get the milk' in Spanish?"

"Think about it this way: If you're rich and sad, you're Batman."

"So. What do you think of Romeo x Friar Lawrence?"

"Whistle your way to Wonderville. And by Wonderville, I mean the Kingdom of God."

"You killed my father. That's not very awesomesauce."

"I would recommend bonking your head against the wall. It makes a silly noise."

"Guys I think my gmail is trying to gaslight me."

"Luke Bryan is not real. He is an invention."

"I know a man who sat on his hamster once."

"I am going to riot in the streets about the Chicago rat hole."

"Bio isn't that hard, but it's common sense, AND I HAVE NONE."

"Young lady, the only thing we serve in this house is cunt."

*tired history teacher voice* "These sock puppets will be used to recreate the decolonization of South Sudan."

"I am running on sheer willpower and a muffin right now."

*very tired history teacher voice* "For the last time, no, we are not hiring Blackbeard."

"Italy was invented by the Mafia in order to sell cheese."

"That is Jonathan Groff you imbecile."

"Sorry, the toaster died."

"Have a problem? Take it up with my supervisor. His name is God"

*extremely tired history teacher voice* "Nobody cares about the goddamn ghost of Alexander Hamilton."

"I would rather starve than eat off-brand Oreos."

"The day I got revenge on an iPad kid was the greatest day of my life."

"Only the Octonauts can save them now."

#catholic school am i right y'all :/#tag yourself #9 26 28 35 38 and 42 are my favorites #over half of these are all from the same three guys #out of context quotes

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xorobyn · 2 years ago

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Goddamn

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I so heartbroken. I’m not jealous. I’m not that mad. I’m sad bc it’s really over. I guess I should be glad. I knew I wanted to leave a long time ago. Why the fuck did I stay? What the fuck Robyn? You know what you should’ve left. You were being a dumb bitch. I mean I knew he wasn’t going to change. It’s the same old song. It’s insane how I felt the same exact way with. What the fuck. No one else has ever ever ever ever ever ever made me feel this way. What the fuck. I mean I’ve been hurt but this feeling in my chest is different. I guess bc I really thought he was the one. I think me resenting him made me be more emotional. I resent him for sending me those dumbass flowers and shit. I fucking hate myself for taking him back. I was so over him. I really was. And as soon as I opened that shit and read the note I started bawling. Fuck I was so happy. I don’t think I would change it. The good times were really good. I’m strong enough to get over it. It just hurts so bad right now. I think something is really wrong with my head. I’m doing really bad right now. But I’ve been better. I just have candy necklaces on repeat rn and I’m really really feeling this shit. I just have a problem letting go. I’m being pathetic though. I’m going to make myself stop thinking about him. I’m trying to feel it but I’m also not going to let it overcome me. It’s been a week since it all. A bad week isn’t too bad. But no more. No more. Fuck no. Do not let that fucking loser define you. Fuck. I loved him. I don’t anymore. I don’t think I have in a while. I was beating a dead horse and I knew it. It kept getting worse until it fucking exploaded.

Dude

I am who I am killing time

Wow

Wowowowowoow what a song

The way I feel every fucking word to that goddamn song. The chorus wow. My chest

It literally talks about wanting to die and in such a real way. Not encouraging it but also being honest.

Him saying I should kill myself really hurt me. I’m actually mad as fuck about that. That’s what I’m mad about. I’m not mad about his lil girly bc there’s simply no way he’s happy lol won’t entertain that for a second. And it’s so embarrassing. He posted those fucking lyrics with her and come to find out she’s disgusting. I have second hand embarrassment so bad. Actually I am mad. I have been mad. I’m not feeling as sad now thankfully. I’m mad but I just need to move on. I’m wasting my energy on him. The best revenge is moving on

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chvoswxtch · 2 years ago

Note

hi court!!!! I devoured your frank castle fics, you just capture him so fucking perfectly!!! soooo, i’m usually pretty extroverted and outspoken and I feel like I see a lot of frank x shy reader. I was wondering if you were interested in potentially writing this request: frank and a pretty confident and extroverted reader (on the shorter and curvier side bc I’m self indulgent) who maybe feels a bit insecure because of a lack of romantic partners and whatnot and maybe they’re friends and something happens and frank just wants to show her how attractive he really finds her…

maybe this sparks some inspiration? i would love to read it, but either way I am obsessed with anything frank or matt you write!!!

ps: thank u for the follow now we’re moots and i’m so fucking excited!! xxx sending so much love your way

hi angel baby d!!!

first of all, thank you so much for your sweet words. i'm also so fucking excited to be moots now!!! as a short curvy girl myself, I happily self indulged on this with you. thank you so much for the request, angel. I wasn't sure if you wanted it to be spicy or not, so I left it open ended. but if you want a spicy follow up, i'd be more than happy to write it. ;) please enjoy this valentine's treat from me to you, love. ❤️

I know y'all didn't think I was gonna leave out my frankie girlies on valentine's day. everyone say thank you @neverlandcity. ❤️

warning: swearing (bc frankie), mentions of alcohol, & allusions to spiciness. word count: 1.7k

[part two]

pretty.

From the moment he met you, Frank hadn’t been able to shut you up. He always knew exactly what was on your mind because you had no problem speaking it. For someone so small, you sure as hell had the confidence of someone his size, and the attitude to match. He was certain it looked comical every time he had to haul you out of a bar over his shoulder when you tried to pick a fight with some asshole three times your size. Other times though, he just sat back and watched with a grin. After all, sometimes those shitheads earned it.

If there was one person in this entire world Frank was scared to death to piss off, it was you. But, he got lucky in that your patience with him seemed to be limitless. As much as he had tried to keep you at arms length when you two first met, you weren’t having any of that shit, and very quickly had won him over. You very easily became one of his favorite people, and overtime he eventually got used to keeping up with you.

But tonight, you were quiet.

Frank couldn’t think of a time since he’d met you that you had ever been quiet. There was the one time you lost your voice from having a cold, but that didn’t stop you from furiously going through two entire notepads in a three day span. He thought he’d enjoy the silence, but honestly he had gotten so used to your voice that it was unnerving not being able to hear it. There was an immense sense of relief he felt once you could talk again, even if you did sound like you smoked forty packs a day for a while.

You hadn’t said more than ten words since you showed up at Frank’s door thirty minutes ago with a full bottle of tequila that was steadily being depleted. He cocked his head to the side as he studied you, noting the intense look of concentration on your features as you sliced up another lime in perfectly proportionate wedges.

“Did someone die?”

You immediately paused, whipping your head around to face him as your brows knit together in the center of your forehead in clear confusion.

“What?”

“Just wonderin’ if someone died.”

“Uh…not that I know of?”

“Then what the hell you bein’ so quiet for?”

“What are you talking about?”

Frank leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied your face.

“You’ve barely said a full goddamn sentence since you walked through that door, and you’re cuttin’ up that lime like you’re performin’ fuckin’ open heart surgery. Not to mention, that bottle was full thirty minutes ago.”

A scoff sounded from your lips as you squeezed the juice of one of the lime wedges into your glass and shrugged your shoulders.

“Yeah well, someone is a heavy handed bartender and likes their drinks strong.”

“You’re the one makin’ the drinks, sweetheart.”

Frank arched one of his brows with a smirk as you glared at him. Your lips parted as you went to retort, glancing between both of your glasses and the assembly line that you currently had going. You shook your head as you went back to fixing yourself another drink and flipped him off over your shoulder.

“Shut up.”

Frank rolled his eyes as he rubbed his palms down his face, eyeing you as you sat back down at the table across from him and sipped on your drink.

“Jesus, normally I can’t get you to shut the hell up and now I can’t get ya to talk to me? The hell’s that about?”

He could tell he was testing your patience by the way you narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips in displeased line.

“No one died, Frank.”

“Then what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

An exasperated groan left your lips as you set your glass on the table with a heavy thud, crossing your arms over your chest as you rolled your eyes.

“I had a shitty date last night and I wanted to drink about it. There. Will you quit being a dick now?”

Frank tensed up at the mention of the word date.

Who the fuck did you go on a date with? Why didn’t you tell him? Since when were you dating? Wait…did you say-

“That bad?”

Your eyes instantly locked with Frank’s, and the emotion swirling around in them had him softening. You swallowed thickly and put your armor back up, rolling your eyes as you laughed dryly and downed another sip of your drink.

“I’ve had worse.”

As much as Frank didn’t wanna hear about you going on a date with some asshole, he did have a lot of questions.

“He uh…do somethin’?”

The nonchalance he had attempted had clearly failed by the smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“Nothing that warrants you going all “Punisher” on him.”

Frank cocked his head to the side slightly as he stared at you, tensing his jaw as his fingers twitched in his lap.

Anyone even fuckin’ lookin’ at you the wrong way would warrant that.

The smirk on your lips quickly fell when you noticed Frank was seriously considering the validity of your words. You let out a deep exhale as you stared down into your glass, swirling the contents around slowly.

“Just…not his type I guess.”

“The hell’s that s’posed to mean? He say that?”

You held your hand up as Frank sat up a little straighter in his seat, shaking your head as you chuckled dryly to yourself.

“He didn’t have to.”

Frank’s face fell at the dejection in your tone, but he was impossibly confused. There was a layer of scarlet starting to burn on your cheeks, and you prayed Frank would think it was from the tequila and not from the embarrassing truth.

“I…I’m just…not what he wanted, and that’s fine, you know? I just wish I would’ve stalked his social media before the date, because then I would’ve known better than to go. I mean…all his exes were these like super tall, thin, bombshell supermodel types, and that’s just…not me.”

There was a rage flowing through Frank’s veins that he hadn’t felt in a long time. As much as you were trying to play it off, he knew you were upset. He could see the way your eyes glimmered as you gazed down into your glass.

“Whatever. He was boring anyway.”

“He sounds like a bitch.”

A loud laugh slipped past your lips as you spit out your drink, covering your mouth as you stared at him incredulously and tried to speak through your giggles.

“God Frankie, tell me how you really feel.”

No one had called him Frankie since Russo, and the first time you had, he froze. He hadn’t expected to like the way it sounded coming from your lips so much. He tried to pretend like it annoyed him every time you called him that, but he secretly loved it. It was something that now belonged only to you. He’d never let anyone else use it.

Frank shook his head as he finished off his own drink, setting the glass down on the table a little harder than he had to as he scoffed.

“Fuckin’ idiot was probably intimidated.”

“Intimidated? Frank, I can’t reach the top of my fridge without a step stool.”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout your height, smartass. I meant by you.”

There was an edge to Frank’s voice that stunned you quiet and had your giggles immediately disappearing. He seemed genuinely pissed off about something, and there was a flame flickering dangerously in his eyes. He stared at you quietly for a moment, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts. Shaking his head slowly, a tiny smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.

“You’re smart, I mean really fuckin’ smart. Sometimes too smart for your own damn good. You’re funny, and you ain’t even gotta try to be. You got the biggest goddamn heart out of anybody I ever met. I know you talk a big game and you’re ‘bout five feet and some change of pure sass, but you give a shit, ya’know? I mean you care ‘bout people, always goin’ out of your way for everyone and shit. I mean hell, you intimidate the shit out of me, and I’m a man. I can only imagine how much you terrified that little boy.”

Your mouth hung open as you processed Frank’s words. There was so much venom in that last sentence alone that you were nearly speechless.

“I…you’re…contractually obligated to say that.”

“The hell I am.”

“Frank-”

“A boy wants a girl, sweetheart. But a man…a man wants a woman, yeah? And you, darlin’, are all woman.”

You’d be a fucking liar if you said you didn’t find Frank attractive. But you certainly never thought he would ever see you that way. You thought he tolerated you at best considering you practically forced your friendship on him. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol simmering in your veins or his words buzzing in your ears, but there was something about the way he was looking at you right now that had warmth spreading throughout your lower half.

“I do.”

“What?”

Frank chuckled as a wolfish grin spread over his lips, nodding his head in your direction.

“You asked if I thought you were pretty.”

Your eyes doubled in size as your lips parted, blinking a few times to try and clear the drunken haziness that had started to cloud your judgment.

“Oh God…did I say that out loud? I don’t even-wait, what? You…you think I’m pretty?”

“I think you’re fuckin’ gorgeous.”

Frank tilted his head to the side slightly as he let his eyes wander shamelessly over your body, clearly pleased with your reaction to his confession. He used his boot to kick his chair away from the table a bit so that he could spread his legs out as he faced you directly. He gently patted his thigh with one of his large hands as he stared at you with a smirk spreading over his mouth.

“Now, why don’t you c’mere and let me show you just how pretty I think you are, sweetheart.”

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