#it's a sad song and we're gonna sing it anyway :')

[eri-pl]

The Hadestown syndrome

So I am re-reading the Silm. and I have a lot of:

I know [a terrible thing] will happen, but if I read it enuogh times, maybe it won't?

I know what you are going to do but how about you don't?

No, seriously, stop

If I read it enough times maybe it will somehow get better?

[rosykims]

thought abt solas as eurydice again

[emrysofstorybrooke]

I'm still laughing about how when my mom and I saw Hadestown a week ago and we were talking to some random lady at intermission who was apparently having a hard time following the story, my mom was like "It's such a happy story" (not serious) and the lady agreed. And I'm pretty sure she was being completely serious. I really wish I knew how she reacted to the ending. I hope she's okay.

[firstofficerrose]

Mina's letter after the downward spiral of everything else in today's entry (Sept 17) hurts so bad. Oh no. Look at her! She's so happy! Jonathan is recovering, Mr. Hawkins has been incredibly generous, her best friend is getting married, everything is finally looking up! Oh no...

[seraphtrevs]

The thing about Nacho and Manuel escaping to Canada is that it's a tragic ending for Manuel, who would be forced to leave his business, his friends, and his home behind and live forever with a target on his back through no fault of his own, having even his name taken away from him since they would have to live under pseudonyms. The thing about Nacho escaping on his own is that abandoning his father would be a complete rejection of the last bit of humanity and honor Nacho had left. He was just completely and utterly doomed

[belovedblabber]

I mean for the record hadestown does in fact make me insane it’s about the STORIES

[startgamc]

She is sixteen, and she's confident that she's in love with this man.

His intimidating height and intense glower betray a much softer, kinder side to him. When he thinks no one is watching he scratches Koromaru behind his ears and calls him cute nicknames. He cooks her food and listens to her and makes her feel seen in ways she didn't realize were possible.

He kisses her and she melts. He holds her hand and she knows she can do anything.

It is October 3rd and she wants nothing more than to spend every night with him.

She is sixteen, and she watches the life drain from his face.

Red splatters across his chest. Blood drips from his mouth. Everyone around her is panicking but she can't hear anything. She can't hear anything except for his labored breathing.

His hand is weak as he cups her cheek and tells her not to cry.

He loves her smile.

But there is nothing to smile over as she loses something precious to her yet again.

It is October 4th and her heart is broken.

She is twenty-four, and she remembers vividly as if it happened yesterday.

Though she shouldn't be alive, she is here. Her heart aches for a time long gone. She misses him and his cooking and the way he smiled when she was around.

She's not sure where he would be. She checked Tatsumi Port Island and nothing...

She lives in Tokyo now, a huge city where one can easily disappear into a crowd. She is an enigma that could probably disappear at any moment. She stares at the old watch on her wrist that he gifted her one chilly September night.

It is October 4th and she laments the lost days.

[cityofmeliora]

Cardi / Papa IV talking about Nihil between "Miasma" and "Mary On A Cross" in Re-Imperatour 2023

i've been meaning to make a compilation post of these speeches for a while. i think the way Cardi talks about Nihil is kinda funny (and sometimes kinda sad). also he was *very clear* about Nihil being his dad long before Rite Here Rite Now, LOL.

i was able to find video of his speeches from 33 of the 58 Re-Imperatour shows. if anyone has better audio for these clips, or clips from the missing shows, please let me know so i can update! i tried to transcribe these as accurately as possible. but the way Cardi talks is kinda weird so there may be some minor errors, haha.

Toulouse, France (May 23, 2023)

"How 'bout this? I can play you a song that my daddy actually used to sing. You like that?"

Milan, Italy (May 29, 2023)

"You saw my, uh, daddy-o over there, right? Yeah… We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing!"

Barcelona, Spain (June 1, 2023)

"Now… You know my dad? He's, uh, he's no longer with us– mentally. But physically, every once in a while, he'll come out with his saxamaphone, and that's what you just saw. But we're now gonna sing a song that my daddy used to sing, once upon a time. You might have heard this one!"

Nantes, France (June 3, 2023)

"Anyway, I'm gonna sing a song now that my daddy–my papa–my father– he used to sing. So let's go!"

Amsterdam, Netherlands (June 4, 2023)

"You saw my daddy-o? My old papa? We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing, actually. Yeah, so you might have heard this one!"

Bochum, Germany (June 13, 2023)

"You saw my old, uh… mein vater, huh? Yeah? He's now a saxophonist– a dead one! But he used to be a singer. And we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day… back in the day…"

Neu-Ulm, Germany (June 20, 2023)

"Well, you met my, uh… my dad. Mein vater, huh? Before he started playing the saxamaphone, he was actually a singer. He sang songs. And you know, he begged us before he passed: "Please play our song– my song that I used to do!" So you wanna hear the song that he used to sing? Here it comes!"

Spálené Poříčí, Czechia (June 22, 2023)

"But you know what? Before we leave, we're gonna play you one song that my dad used to sing back in the day."

Oslo, Norway (June 23, 2023)

"So. You saw what my old dad could do. Yeah… blowing that shit. You wish you were the one that he was doing it to, right? Hahahaha. Well, anyway, he used to be a singer, you know! He used to sing songs! They were okay. But we're gonna do one now that he used to sing. I hope you dig it. It's okay!"

Athens, Greece (June 25, 2023)

"You saw what my, uh, my papa… he, uh, he still blows that shit! Well, he's dead, but we roll him out for special occasions. But you know, he used to sing, like I do! And he was an okay singer, actually. I must have got it from somewhere, I guess. But you wanna hear a song that he used to sing? You might like this one."

Concord, USA (August 2, 2023)

"What do you think about Pops over there? You like that? You like when he blows that shit? Yeah. He doesn't suck at it, that's for sure. But anyway, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Yeah. We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day."

Auburn, USA (August 4, 2023)

"How do you like that? My old dad. He wasn't much of a father –he kind of sucked at that– but he sure as shit blows really good. Yeah, no, he– he's fine, he's fine, except for being dead. But y'know, we roll him out for the good occasions, and this is one of them. You know, back in the day, he used to be a singer. I hate to say it, but I think I got it from him. Yeah. He was an okay singer. But do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing, together with me? Alright… Go!"

Denver, USA (August 8, 2023)

"You like that blowjob? Yeah, I know. My old man. My old daddy-o. I know he blows. Still. Miraculously. Posthumously. But you know, once upon a time he was not an actual sucky singer. He was actually quite okay. We're gonna play a song now that he used to sing, and I hope you dig it. Alright?"

St. Louis (August 11, 2023)

"Give it up for my old man! Yeah… he still blows! Once upon a time, though, he was actually quite okay a singer. Do you wanna sing a song together now that he used to sing back in the day? Okay, let's do this!"

Milwaukee, USA (August 12, 2023)

"What did you think, huh? My old man… First he was just a fart that I met, and then I got to know that he was my dad. Yeah. He's– he was okay. For a sucker, he blows really good, actually, don't you think? Once upon a time he was actually a kinda decent singer. Have you heard any of those songs? You wanna sing one now? Alright. Lets' go!"

Chicago, USA (August 15, 2023)

"I don't know about your Pops, but mine sure fucking blows. Once upon a time he was actually a not-too-sucky singer, though. Have you heard anything of his stuff? You wanna sing one of his old songs? Alright. Let's do it then– come on!"

Cincinnati (August 16, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? Yeah, I know, my old dad. My old daddy-o. Still blowing that shit. I guess he's fine. Now, I don't know if you knew this but, once upon a time, he was actually a quite okay singer. Have you heard any of his songs? We're gonna honor him now a little and, uh, sing one of his old songs, okay?"

Syracuse, USA (August 18, 2023)

"That's my old man. Or was. Pretty sucky father, but he still can blow. He blew some really good shit there, didn't he? Right through his nose. Anyway, once upon a time, he was actually quite a decent singer. And, uh, y'know, did some tunes. And we're gonna do one now. You wanna? Ohhh!"

Mansfield, USA (August 19, 2023)

"Yeah. My old Pops there. Y'know, for years he didn't do much. Y'know… and uh, because he used to be a singer but now he just, uh, y'know, he does a good– y'know, he does a good blow job. But he used to be a singer. And he sang quite well. And, uh, we're actually gonna commemorate that fact by singing one of his tunes now. And we hope you dig it. Alright?"

Bridgeport, USA (August 20, 2023)

"How 'bout that? My old man. My old man… Well, he's a dead man now. But you know we bring him out for the blow job, and he does okay with that. You know, he was once upon a time a fairly decent singer. And I thought we, uh, might take this opportunity to sing one of his old songs. I think you've heard this one. It's okay."

Burgettstown, USA (August 23, 2023)

"How did you like that, though? My old Pop, with his saxamaphone. Ah, he's okay. Or he was okay. I guess he's not anymore. Anyway, we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day, when he was singing. So… Come on!"

Bristow, USA (August 24, 2023)

"You know… my dad… not much of a dad. But he sure blows that good shit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has always been an entertainer, I guess… even now, posthumously– Google that. He was, once upon a time, a singer like I am. And he did a few tunes. I don't know if you've heard them. They're okay– they're okay. But we're gonna do one of them now and, uh, you might wanna sing along. Are you ready?"

Camden, USA (August 25, 2023)

"Well, what do you think? My old man– he's a good blower of shit, huh? That would be his, uh, tribe name: "Blower of Tubes". But once upon a time his name could've been "Singer of Songs", because he was– used to be a singer, y'know? And he was a fairly decent one, actually. He was not that bad. They did a few tunes. You wanna sing one of them? Alright, let's do it! Come on!"

Houston, USA (September 2, 2023)

"How did you like that? My old man resurrected to come out and blow shit for you? Nowadays he's a blower, I guess. But once upon a time, he was a not so sucky singer, yeah– let's put it that way. And, uh, he actually did a few tunes. And, uh, we're thinking that maybe you wanna sing one. Are you down with that? Alright, let's get rippin'!

Dallas, USA (September 5, 2023)

"Heh, we even got my old dad sort of erected– resurrected. But yeah, I think he felt it, too. Maybe you saw the sax moving? He was once an okay singer. Did you know that? Yeah, he used to sing songs. Yeah. Would you like to sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's do it!"

Albuquerque, USA (September 7, 2023)

"So my old man. The old fart. Yeah, he can make wind move– I can tell you that. Blowing that shit. Once upon a time he was a singer, though. Did you know that? Yeah, he did a few songs. And I was thinking that maybe we should sing one of them. Just for shits and giggles. Are you down with that? Alright, come on!"

Phoenix, USA (September 8, 2023)

"Are you still feeling it? Yeah! I hope you weren't blown away by my… my old man. Yeah I know he blows that shit nowadays. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] But, uh, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Did you know that? And a fairly decent solo, actually. So we were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. Are you digging it? Come on!"

Rite Here Rite Now - Los Angeles, USA (September 12, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? That's my old man, actually. You know, we roll him out for the good nights. Once upon a time, he was actually a quite decent singer. Yeah. Did you know that? We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing and, uh… Come on!"

Mexico City, Mexico (September 18, 2023)

"How do you like that? That was my– my old papa. He's okay. He's not that good. And I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree... So he's okay. Do you guys know that he used to be a singer, once upon a time? Do you guys wanna play a song and sing a song that he used to sing? Let's go then, people!"

São Paulo (September 21, 2023)

"You like that guy? The old guy? He's okay. He's my old papa. Did you know that he was actually a singer back in the day? Do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing. Alright, let's do it!"

Buenos Aires, Argentina (September 24, 2023)

"You see– I'm your Papa, but that's my papa. He's an okay papa. Or he was. He's dead now, but we sort of drag him out for the good shows. Nowadays, he's just a saxophone player. But he used to be a singer, did you know that? Do you guys wanna play a– sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's go!"

Santiago, Chile (September 27, 2023)

"Anyway, you saw my papa there, right? Yeah. Once upon a time, he was a singer. Did you know that? We were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old songs. Alright, come on!"

Sydney, Australia (October 3, 2023)

"So… how did you like that? That's my old man. Well… He never was much of a papa to me, but… it's okay. He does a good blowjob nowadays. Y'know what? Before he was blowing that shit he was actually not a too sucky singer, did you know that? Yeah! Once upon a time he was actually singing songs. So we thought that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. You wanna do that? Come on!"

[bermudarhombus2]

GOD I know this is literally the entire point of the show but there's just something about hadestown being based on a several thousand year-old story about the inevitability of human grief. You know exactly what is going to happen, you know it's not going to end well, Hermes even spells it out in the opening of the show. "It's an old song, it's a sad song, but we're gonna sing it anyways". Humans have been suffering for the entire time that we've existed and yet the only thing that we as a species are capable of doing about it is singing, making music and joy in spite of the tragedy, and hoping that maybe next time it will end up better. "To know how it ends and still begin to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time".

Death is inevitable. We all face the same fate. One by one our loved ones will die until we ourselves die and yet we as a species make music and find joy and love and hope. And the entire musical ends with a reorchestration of the opening in a major key, a happy ending in spite of the tragedy.

The most moving experience I've ever had in a museum was standing in an archaeology museum in Madrid, staring at the 2000 year-old grave of a 6 year-old daughter who's parents loved her enough to make a stone monument to her memory, engrave it with her name and their grief in a beautiful epitaph, only for humans to stare at that epitaph preserved as a monument for their love for their daughter.

Humans have not changed at all. People thousands of years ago loved and cried and died and lived just the same as we did now, and I find comfort in the fact that every pain I've ever felt has been felt millions if not billions of times before by people before me, who's names I may never know, but who I feel connected to, and frankly, love none the less.

[mttztrading]

It's a sad song. We're gonna sing it anyway.

Hadestown - West End: Act 1

[avatar-anna]

Diamonds

pausing our regularly scheduled program with a luke hemmings blurb bc i love him and his solo music and i'm sad i couldn't go to any of his shows 😔 i'll get back to harry soon, but i'll take inspo wherever i can rn. enjoy!

"The next one we're gonna play for you is one of the most vulnerable songs I've ever written," Luke said, mouth pressed up against the microphone. The shimmer you helped spread over the lids of his eyes practically glowed under the blue lights that lit the stage. You thought he looked ethereal, the very embodiment of the music he was performing tonight.

"When I was putting together the final tracklist for this album," Luke continued, "I was hesitant to add this song because I was afraid that it was too vulnerable, but I was convinced that it was worth sharing, that the emotions and experiences behind this song would reach those who needed to hear it the most.

"The person who convinced me, and played a crucial part of making this record, is here tonight, and to them, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't and making me brave enough to truly face my demons. You pulled me out of the deep end when it felt like I was drowning, and I would be a completely different person than I am today without you. I love you. My heart and soul is yours to keep."

Cheers were heard throughout the venue as the opening chords began. As Luke started to sing, you were thankful that you decided to watch the concert from backstage, unable to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones, starve myself 'til I'm skin and bone, I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be."

He said that often. My heart and soul is yours to keep. Yours to keep safe, was what he meant. It had taken him a long time to open up to you and trust your ability to be a good partner, so him saying that his heart was yours was huge. He trusted you that much not to break his heart, to never let him sink back into old habits and bitter thoughts. That level of trust meant everything to you.

In his little speech, Luke thanked you for being the one to convince him to release the song, which was true in a way. He'd been conflicted about the song at first, not ready to share such a dark period of his life so publicly. The song had originally been just a way to express himself, to put everything he'd been through on paper without ever letting it see the light of day.

Luke had shared what the song was about, had opened up to you just what had made him feel that way in the past—toxic relationships, poor decisions that led to even worse habits, hurting the people closest to him, all of his mistakes. He didn't hide any of it from you, and you took all of those misgivings, all of those past mistakes, and showed him that you loved him anyway.

"How far is far? Are we too deep in? How dark is dark? I need to see it."

It wasn't easy at first. When you met, Luke wasn't in a place where he could give himself to anyone emotionally. He believed that he was too damaged to be loved the way he deserved and that he was better off being alone and unhurt than trying to fall in love again and risk being completely ruined by someone he thought he could trust. He had been more closed off than anyone you'd ever met, but all of it just made you want to show him what love without conditions looked like. And he couldn't fathom why. Luke was never rude to you about it. He never snapped at you or pushed you away or treated you badly to make a point, he just truly believed that he wasn't worth your time.

*.*

You were at his house, hanging out as friends. Only this time you surprised him by bringing him flowers.

Luke had been completely dumbfounded, unsure of your intentions. You told him it was just to brighten up his home a little, and because you liked doing nice things for the people you cared about. He didn't question you much further, but the rest of the time you were together, you caught him staring at the bouquet that stood in the vase you'd placed them in. His gaze had been wary and apprehensive each time, and you finally told him the truth.

"I want to take you on a date," you said simply.

Luke seemed surprised, which led to a conversation that was perhaps a step below an argument, but only because you calmly listened to Luke and evaded his tactics to push you away with ease.

"I—I don't deserve you," he finally said, but his voice was heavy with emotion, like he desperately didn't want it to be true.

"Who decides what we do and don't deserve, Luke?" you said to him, resting your hand over his and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles gently. To your surprise, he didn't pull away.

"I'm not good enough for you," he amended.

With a close-lipped smile, you leaned over from your spot on his couch and placed your thumb between his brows, smoothing the furrow there. "I think you think you're a worse person than you are."

You kissed his brow, your touch just enough for him to feel your lips brush his skin. When you pulled back, you tapped his nose with your knuckle. "I won't push you, and I won't try to fix you," you said, because the truth was, you didn't believe he needed fixing. But you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him of that. Not now, anyway. "But I will tell you this: you are a remarkable person, and when you're ready, I'd love to love you one day."

*.*

"I'm on my way out, losing the dream. I feel it crash down, down on me. Caught in the madness, holding on me. Is this the way it will always be?"

It took some time, but Luke eventually believed what you did from the day you met him. You were there to see him through the thick of it, holding his hand when he needed you to and giving him space when he asked. He'd gone off to write for a little while, and when he came back, you could practically see the weight lift from his shoulders. It was as if he'd left his biggest demons at the cabin he'd been staying in.

And now he was at his own solo concert performing the songs that held the deepest secrets of his heart. Luke sang each word with passion and pride, the kind that came from knowing that he'd overcome the darkness that had held him for so long. He wasn't drowning anymore, but he sang his songs so that his fans could see that it was possible to be in a dark place and come out of it.

The song faded to its end, and Luke bowed before the crowd as they cheered. He held his hands together in front of his face, the appreciation written in his features abundantly clear. You watched him survey the crowd with so much pride you thought you were going to burst, but you ended up just shedding a couple more tears instead.

While fans were still cheering and his band was playing chords that would lead into the next song, Luke jogged to the side of the stage where you were standing. You hadn't expected him to come over to you, but when you saw his face, you knew what he needed.

Your arms opened for him just in time as he wrapped himself around you. He held onto you tight, his face buried in your hair as he lifted you off the ground. You held on just as fiercely, hoping it would sufficiently express just how much you loved him.

Time stopped as Luke held you in his arms. He had a whole crowd waiting for him to sing the next song, but neither of you seemed worried about getting him back onstage. When he finally set you back down, you kissed his cheek a couple times before kissing him properly, your hands on either side of his face.

"Okay, okay, no more of that," you said, when he kept trying to follow your lips as you pulled away from him, wanting just one more kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now go. Everyone's waiting for you."

Luke began to turn like he was going to do just as you said, but before he walked away, he spun on his heel and caught you in one last kiss. Satisfied by your tinged cheeks, he grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mean the world to me, darlin.'"

Hearing him say that made you melt every single time, and he knew that. Shoving his shoulder playfully toward the stage, you said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go be a rockstar, will you? You're keeping everyone waiting. Myself included."

Luke finally turned around for real and did just that.

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Seven

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: A lot of Gentle Bullying (it's done with love,i promise), Drinking/Mentions of Alcohol, Peer pressure, Mentions of Sex (don't get your hopes up; it's not happening yet) Fluff, yearning, pining, hopeless romantic-ing, maybe a smidge of flirting and lastly- more pirate references.

Word Count: 6.2k !!

Summary: The weekend plays out a bit differently than Jake anticipated, but aside from the endless teasing from his family, I don't think he has much to complain about.

Author's Note: IT'S A LONG ONE FOLKS. We're getting to the good stuff and i'm SO excited. This chapter has me kicking my feet and blushing (I wrote it, I know) but GOD it's so cute watching their little friendship grow. I hope you love it xoxo next weeks is a TREAT. 😉

She Calls Me Back - Noah Kahan "Everything's alright when, she calls me back,"

Friday 

I didn’t expect to spend so much of my evening texting Charlotte. Granted, I also never expected anybody to willingly let me tell them about pirates, a pretty girl, no less. We kept talking until she was finally ready to sleep, and I told her that she was more than welcome to reach out if she wanted. She definitely took me up on the offer. What I wasn’t prepared for was her to send me a random fun fact at 10 am. Though I’m glad, she seems to be in a better mood.

Charlotte: Did you know the creator of the Xbox was obsessed with sourdough bread?

Jake: I did not 

Charlotte: Mhm! Which makes the logo funnier, because it looks like a nicely scored loaf!

Jake: Why do you know this? Also goodmorning? 

I’ve already been down to the bar and finished getting her ready to open. A habit that I probably can’t break at this point. I started going down to get the bar set up when I first opened because I was really the only one who was actually working there. Once I got Josh on board full-time, we split a lot of the work, but I still try to make it as easy as possible for him. He’s doing a lot to help me out; it’s the least I can do. 

Charlotte: Oh, goodmorning! I guess I should have started with that lol 

“What are you so smiley about this morning?” 

I look up to see Quinn rounding the corner into the kitchen, their floppy curls all over the place. 

“There’s still coffee left if you want some,” I tell them quickly.

“Don’t avoid the question, Jack,” their smirk growing as they pour coffee into one of Josh’s mugs. 

“Do I usually look sad?” 

“Not sad, but you look especially happy right now,” tossing the creamer back into the fridge, “but you’re gonna need to wipe that look off your face if you don’t want your nosy brother harassing you.” 

My smile definitely falls at that statement. Unfortunately, they’re so very correct. If I can’t hide it better, Josh will know something’s up. I swear he can smell it from a mile away. 

“I’m joking,” they sip on their coffee, “I’m gonna tell him anyway!” 

Shit. They scurry towards Josh’s door before I can say anything or try to bargain with them. I practically launch myself up from the couch to follow suit when I hear their sing-song little voice, “Jaaaaakes got a cruuuuushhh.” Stopping me in my tracks just outside the bedroom. 

“A crush, you say!” Josh’s voice is just simply loud; there’s no changing it, “Oh, Jacob! You can’t hide from me now, brother!” 

I round the corner, leaning against the doorframe. 

“You’re lucky I love you,” I point at Quinn, “It’s not a crush, just a .. friend?” Realizing that I’m not even sure what this is. 

“Well, that just wasn’t convincing at all,” They mumble, taking another sip of coffee. 

“It’s not that serious is all.” 

Josh finally chimed in, “You know, you don’t have to be ashamed if it is a crush. If anything, it’s relieving for the rest of us.” 

My eyes roll involuntarily as I cross my arms over my chest, “Why are you so concerned about my love life? Shouldn’t you just be happy that I’m not bringing random girls home?”

“Don’t disrespect Danny without him present,” Josh barks out a laugh, “But at least he was getting laid, so maybe he was onto something.” 

“Plus, he has Melody now,” Quinn pipes up, “You’re the last man standing.”

Josh looks over at them, “Nice guys do finish last, I guess.”

“One is the loneliest number!”

“The lone wolf.”

“Okay, you don’t need to kick me while I’m down,” my eyebrows pinch together as they keep piling on. 

“Well, are you actually gonna try to bag this one?” Josh asks, “ Or you just gonna rot away in the bar and pine over her?” 

“First of all, I already told you it’s not a crush,” I start, “Secondly, are you convinced that I can’t lock down a girlfriend?” 

“Jake, you’ve been single for how long? It’s getting hard to believe you even know how to flirt with a woman.” 

“Especially after you tried flirting with that pretty redhead the other day,” Quinn cringes quietly. 

“Okay, that wasn’t my best work,” I had been trying to forget that. “But she was also busy yelling at me for being bad at my job, so the timing was less than ideal.” My face sells me out as the red settles in my cheeks. 

“Wait,” Josh pipes up, “is that who you’re texting?” Leaning forward as he stares at me. How is he so quick?

“Uh,” I hesitated a second too long. 

“Oh my god, it is!” His voice was rising with excitement. “A friend? My ass. I saw how you looked at her.” 

“She was very pretty, to be fair,” Quinn interjects, nudging him with their elbow. 

“Oh, she was stunning,” he says, looking back at them. “So you two have been talking?” 

My heart is pounding as we have this conversation because I don’t even know what’s going on. The last thing I need is him hounding me over it. 

They both just stare at me with that sympathetic look that people give you when they find out you lost your job or your dog ran away. 

“Can you two quit interrogating me?” I whine, “I promise that either of you will be the first to know when I have a potential girlfriend.” 

“Alright, alright, I’ll stand down,” Josh throws his hands up, “but only because I need to get ready for work.” 

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Jake: i’m assuming youre feeling a bit better today?

I decided to walk to some of the stores nearby, trying to enjoy the last few days of autumn. The Old Port is a wonderfully odd place. With the cobblestone streets and terribly old brick buildings, it’s nothing short of having character. The way the city won’t tear any down but just shove new businesses in will always amaze me. But being able to walk to a fair amount of things has been my favorite thing since moving over here. 

The crisp air of fall warrants a hot drink. I slip into a smaller local coffee shop. It’s a crowded little space with several tables and the actual bar. There’s minimal room to move around or not be noticed. 

“Well, look who decided to show up!” 

My head whips to the right, and I see my favorite ladies parked at a small table in the corner: Eleanor with her book in her lap and Linda with a small notebook set on the table. I take my drink from the barista with a quick ‘thank you’ and carefully weave through the scattered chairs.

“Goodmorning ladies, is this seat taken?” I tap the chair facing them. 

“All yours, sweetheart.” 

Linda leans forward, sliding her notebook to the side, “So Josh told us that you were flirting with that pretty young lady the other day,” sending a little wink at me. 

I drop my head with a long sigh. I should have known he would tell them because, of course, my brother is best friends with two older ladies. 

“Well, I tried flirting,” I mumble, sipping my coffee, “But it wasn’t necessarily well received.” 

The collective ‘awwww’ feels almost offensive, but I know they aren’t trying to bully me. That’s everyone else’s job.

“You’ll find someone, dear. You’re much too sweet and handsome,” Eleanor finally says. “At least you’re not wasting it on someone who doesn’t deserve you.” She gently rubs my arm for a second, a soft smile on her face. 

“Thank you,” I tell her, placing my hand over hers, “You’re right. I’d rather wait for the right girl than spend time on whoever is willing to go on dates.” 

Truth be told, I’ve played that game already. Meeting girls online or on dating apps and taking them out to dinner. Only to have them tell me, “You’re so sweet,”  and then ghost me after the date. I’ve only made it to the kiss at the end a handful of times in my life, and lord knows the last time I got laid. Never a proud moment for me when it happened. Both of us are usually incredibly drunk, and I hardly remember anything from it the next morning. 

Since officially opening the bar, I’ve just not bothered dating. I have too many things I could be doing or helping Josh when he is working. I think if another girl ghosted me, I may commit arson. Not to the bar; obviously, I’ve worked too hard. So, I keep to myself and just enjoy the minor flirting from girls who are already a drink or two deep. I also spend a bit longer in the shower some nights trying to relieve some of the tension. 

“Ellie’s right, ya know?” Linda sits back, “And don’t let those pesky boys pick on you over it! We both witnessed how ‘smooth’ their paths were, they have barely any room to speak.”

I look between the two of them with a lazy smile on my lips, “You’re the best, both of you.” I let out a small sigh of relief. 

We all sit and chat while Linda writes up her list of what to bring to the Farmer’s Market this weekend. She passes the notebook to Eleanor so she can decide what plant pots to bring. Watching their friendship over the last year has been so precious. 

“Alright girls, I think I need to head out,” I scoot my chair back. 

“Don’t work too hard, sweetheart,” Linda quips, “But we’ll probably see you in a few hours.” She glances over at Eleanor. 

“Oh, probably,” she lets out a long sigh, “This old bat drags me out late every Friday.” Holding back a laugh, she side-eyes Linda. 

“Play nice, ladies!” I giggle, sending them a little wave, “I’ll see you two later.” 

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It’s Josh’s night to close the bar, but I can’t help myself from at least being around. I’ve been sitting in my office for the most part. Trying to focus on admin stuff, but it becomes incredibly apparent why I let Dan handle a lot of it. It doesn’t help that I have also been texting Charlotte all night. But, in my defense, why would I turn down the opportunity to text someone who seems interested in what I have to say? The fact she’s hot is just a bonus. 

I pick up my phone, unprepared for what I am about to endure. I see the blue dot next to the group chat with all the boys in it. We use it daily, but I just had a gut feeling about tonight’s conversation, considering how the rest of my day has gone. 

Employees of the Month 🏴‍☠️🏆 (& Sam) : 

Sam: Birdie says you may be able to pull someone if you shave your face 

Josh: quinn agrees 

Jake: i didn’t ask for opinions from the peanut gallery 

Daniel changes the groupchat name to “ Operation: Get Jake Laid 🫡”

Daniel: melody is also in favor of no mustache 

Josh: ​​it’s not our fault you look like a chimney sweep 

[Jake left the conversation]

[Sam added Jake to the conversation]

Sam: not so fast, Dick Van Dyke 

Jake: So literally nobody thinks it looks good?

Josh: not at all

Daniel: …no

Sam: ABSOLUTELY NOT LOL 

Josh: you already have the long hair, you’re giving jesus a little bit.

Josh: or homeless. take your pick. 

Sam: Definitely homeless, there’s only room for one jesus in this family 

Daniel: good point sam

Jake: i hate all of you

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Saturday 

“I’m off to work,” Josh says, rounding the corner from his bedroom. 

“Have fun,” I reply, looking up from my phone, “I’ll be down there in a little bit.” 

As soon as the lock flips on the door, I sit up from the couch. Usually, I’m not affected by the boys’ commentary. Still, for whatever reason, the simple act of shaving my face struck a nerve. I’m not particularly attached to having facial hair, but I wasn’t under the impression it was that bad. 

I stare into the mirror as the water is running; I mean, I know it’s not a big deal. If a girl didn’t like me for this, that sounds like her problem, as I throw my hair into a low bun. Grabbing my razor from the cabinet and stealing some of Josh’s shaving cream, I carefully dab some just above my lip. What if I look worse? No. Maybe they’re right; maybe I should just get rid of it. Fuck it. 

Making the first pass, I let out a small sigh. I slather on some more shaving cream to the rest of my face, quickly shaving it off. Well, I guess this looks okay.  Bzzzt. 

Charlotte: helloooo

Jake: good morrow m’lady how did you sleep 

The shower creaks a bit as I turn it on, giving the water a few minutes to heat up. It always feels like forever this time of year. Once the steam starts fogging up the mirrors, I pull my sweatshirt over my head and toss it on the counter. Bzzt. 

Charlotte: not bad. How are you? 

Jake: aside from falling into peer pressure, i’m okay haha 

I set my phone on top of my sweatshirt, quickly sliding off my sweats and swiftly moving into the shower. Letting the hot water run over me. What if she doesn’t even notice? Pouring shampoo into my hand and scrubbing it into my hair, maybe she’ll like this better? What am I even worried about? We’re just casually talking. Rinsing and then grabbing the conditioner, Though.. I wouldn’t be opposed. I run the conditioner through my ends and then lather the rest of my body with soap. I feel like she must at least think I’m an okay person if she’s listening to me ramble on about pirates?  I move back under the water, feeling the temperature start to change. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” I mumble to myself, trying to rinse everything off as quickly as possible. There’s nothing worse than the hot water running out mid-shower. As soon as my hair doesn’t feel slimy, I shut the water off with a quick shudder. I wring my hair out and grab my towel, drying myself before wrapping it tightly around my waist. 

I see my phone light up. 

Charlotte: Excuse me?

Charlotte: Who peer pressured you? Into what? 

Charlotte: Jacob! You can’t just say that and then disappear! 

I audibly laugh at her yelling at me, quickly replying to try and ease the suspense. 

Jake: i’m sorry i was in the shower LOL

Jake: oh just the boys per usual im just dumb and fell for it this time

I migrate to my bedroom, scanning my closet briefly before grabbing my staple long-sleeve button-up shirt and my black jeans. I pull them on as I hear the small buzz of my phone. 

Charlotte: Why are you avoiding saying what IT is? It can’t be that bad. 

Oh, sweetheart, I wish I knew if it were that bad. 

Jake: i haven’t decided if it’s that bad 

Charlotte: Well, let me help! 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Rounding the corner to the bar, I set a handful of clean glasses on the back counter. Listening to Josh as he small talks with some of the customers. Having Josh bartend was probably one of the smartest things I could have done; everybody loves him. He’s much more extroverted than myself, on top of just being a sociable person. Bzzzt. 

I have to fight the urge to grab my phone every time it vibrates. She knows I’m working, so she won’t be upset if I take a second to reply. I’m cleaning up the back counter to try and help out Josh; I wipe down everything quickly to make sure I’m not in his way. 

Turning around, I see the door open as Willa walks through. It’s always a gamble to see who will be with her, Sam, or Quinn, and tonight's lucky winner is Samuel. I’ve watched them since the day they first met, and as much as they like to annoy each other, they are rather cute together. If there’s anything I know about my brother, he doesn’t ever actually want to annoy her; he just likes to ruffle her feathers. Get it- Birdie.. Feathers.. HAH. 

He pulls out the barstool a bit for her before taking the seat next to her. 

“OH MY GOD-” Willa yelps, “YOU SHAVED,” excitedly clapping her hands. Well, that didn’t take long. 

“It’s nice to see you too,” I slide small napkins in front of both of them, grinning at her excitement.  

“Jake, I literally see you all the time,” Sam torts back. 

“I was talking to Willa,” I deadpan, rolling my eyes before looking back to her, “What can I get for you, dear?” 

“Just something fruity,” she requests between laughs, “thank you!”

I glance at Sam with my eyebrows raised, “and you?”

“Wow, the customer service here is amazing,” laced in a sarcastic tone that quickly disappears when he quietly mumbles, “Whatever you make for her, just .. the same thing.”

Turning to make their drinks, bzzt, I slide my phone from my back pocket. 

Charlotte: Can you PLEASE just tell me what it is?

Jake: i promise you it’s not that exciting 

I quickly shoved my phone back into its rightful place and put together their drinks. Willa’s more carefully than Sam’s, at least she doesn’t cop an attitude with me. 

“Here you go, madam,” setting her drink on the napkin, “and here’s yours.” more abruptly setting Sam’s down. 

“So, Jake,” she starts, “how’s dating going?” 

My eyes wander over to my brother, who is looking everywhere but at me. That little shit.

“Oh, it’s um.. It’s going.”

“Well, I do have a friend who I could set you up with,” she continues, “ya know, if you want.” 

Finally, making eye contact with Sam, my eyebrows pull together as I cross my arms over my chest. 

“What? I didn’t say anything?” he says, putting his hands up. 

“Yes, you did!” Willa calls him out, “Don’t be dumb, Sam.” 

She looks back at me, putting her hands out across the bar, “I’m a girl, I can help, okay. What are you looking for? Tell meee!” 

Bzzzt. Shit.

I can feel the warmth settling in my face, and my hand finds its place on the back of my neck. 

“Oh, you’re so sweet,” I start, “but I don’t think I really have time to date right now.”

She sighs, “Oh come on– are you gunna let yourself wither away in this bar? You’re handsome; you shouldn’t have any problems dating.”

“Hello? I’m right here?” Sam butts in.

“This isn’t about you right now, babe.”

Charlotte: What if I just tell you that it is super exciting? Does that help?

Jake: oh my god you’re ridiculous hahaha

“What are you smiling at over there?” Willa’s tone was taunting. 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I tell her, unable to contain the uncomfortable laugh that follows. 

“That doesn’t look like nothing.” 

I smirk, “I promise!” 

She looks like she will fling herself over the bar if I don’t tell her who I’m talking to. 

“Promises mean nothing to me, sir!” she quickly rebuttals, “give me the juicy deets!” 

My ears perk up at the ‘sir,’ but I’m not so easily swindled. 

“You almost got me there, but there’s nothing to tell.” I smile at her, raising my eyebrows as I walk to the other end of the bar. 

Charlotte: I promise I won’t laugh at you! I’m just too invested now

Jake: Charlotte

Charlotte: Jacob 

Charlotte: For the love of god, just tell me what it is

I don’t know what comes over me, but I immediately walk to the bathroom. Holding the edge of the sink with my free hand, I pull up my phone, clicking on the little camera. Click. I don’t bother to look, simply clicking ‘done.’ 

Jake: [ sends photo ] 

Read 9:37pm.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The next few hours go by quickly. This is sort of the blessing of Saturday nights here; the nights tend to fly by with the number of people you talk to. I sent Josh home a little early. We were slowing down a bit, and he’s been here quite a lot lately. Which is a little my fault, but none of the bartenders I hire stick around long. 

I don’t want to cave, but I finally opened Charlotte’s messages. Seeing the ‘read’ makes me nervous. My thumbs defy me.  

Jake: is it that bad? 

Does that seem too needy? She doesn’t have to say anything. Maybe I scared her off with the picture. My mind races until I see her typing. 

Charlotte: What are you doing after work? 

The sense of relief when she responds is great, but why was she avoiding the conversation? Maybe it was just too weird for her. 

Jake: I get out at 2am.. what else am I going to do haha 

Charlotte: You’re so right 

Looking up to the corner, 1:15 a.m., before replying to her.

Jake: what are you doing awake? ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I spent the last forty-five minutes of the night trying to clean while slowly collecting everyone’s payments. Following the last customer to the doors, I locked myself in and felt the calm wash over me again. 

Charlotte: I don’t really know

Jake: well i’m sure you’re asleep now, but i’m free to keep you company if you’re still up 

My screen lights up before I can put it back into my pocket. Why is she facetiming me? This can’t be serious?  My thumb hovers over the ‘accept’ for a second, quickly tapping it. 

“Hi,” her voice softly rings through my ears. God, she’s so cute. 

“Helloo,” I say, matching her volume, “I definitely wasn’t expecting you to be up.”

“I just can’t sleep lately,”  Poor thing. 

“Well then,” propping my phone up against a glass, “lucky for you, I’m always awake into the wee hours of the morning.”  I glance over from the POS. 

“Doesn’t help when you don’t clock out until after two in the morning, huh?”

“You would be correct,” I let out a small laugh, taking a quick scan of the room. She tucks some hair behind her ear, then leans into her hand. 

“Do you have much left to do?” 

Clicking the power button on the screen, “Mmm, no, I’m actually done.” She smiles at my response. SHE SMILED. 

Flipping the lights and locking the doors behind me, I start up the stairs to the apartment. 

“I need to say hi to Josh real quick, so I’ll just put you in my pocket for a second?” 

Her small laugh sounds like heaven, causing my own grin to grow across my face. 

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I softly knock on Josh’s door a few times before opening it, sliding my phone into my front pocket. 

“Hey, I have a proposition for you,” I say, leaning against the doorframe. 

“I’m listening.”

“Would you like to take the earlier shift tomorrow and then be able to see Quinn?” I raise my eyebrows, knowing that if it involves Quinn, he will always say yes. 

“Obviously,” his voice suspicious. 

“Done deal. I’ll close so you two can spend some time together.” 

He cocks an eyebrow at me before questioning me, “You’re being too nice to me… what’s going on?” 

“Nothing’s going on, I just know you’ve been working a lot, and Quinn’s free tomorrow, sooo,” I giggle. 

His eyes squinted, “I'm not going to argue it.. How was your night?” His tone going back to normal. 

“Not terrible, but I’m exhausted,” I lie. 

“YOU’RE TIRED?” Loudly escapes him, clutching his heart dramatically. 

I laugh, “Shocking, isn’t it?” To which he just nods. 

“Sleep well. Love you bub.”

“Love you too, kiddo!” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Sorry about that,” I whisper, softly shutting my bedroom door. 

“You shouldn’t lie to your brother.” 

My eyebrow raises at her comment, “And what am I lying about?” 

She crosses her arms over her chest, “I’m exhausted,” she mocks me. I can’t help but laugh at her; I wasn’t prepared for her to make fun of me. 

“Well, shit,” I sit back on my bed, “you got me, huh?” 

I can see some color creep into her cheeks, making my heart shake. 

“Hold on, I’m just gonna set you down,” I toss my phone onto my pillows. Grabbing the navy sweatshirt sitting on the end of my bed. I slide my shirt off, quickly pull the sweatshirt over me, then toss my jeans into my closet. 

I move myself up to lean against the wall, grabbing my phone and taking her in while she’s looking off to the side. The freckles on her cheeks look like they were individually painted on. Perfect. 

I catch a glimpse of myself, rubbing just underneath my nose a few times before just settling into my usual fidget.  

“You look cute,” she says, just above a whisper. I feel my face warm as I gaze at her through my phone screen. I gently pick at my lip as I fight the smile threatening to come out. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, um,” she quickly says, I can see the subtle panic on her face. 

“No, no, it’s okay. I uh,” I stammer a bit, “I just think that you’re the cute one here,” I spit out as fast as I can. 

“Jacob quit it!” 

 “Unfortunately, I can’t,” I giggle, “Trying to break that pesky lying habit or whatever.”

She rolls her eyes at that, fighting the smirk on her face. We both just stare at each other for a second before she finally breaks the silence. 

“So, you’re working again tomorrow night?” 

 “Mhm,” I watch as she rubs her eyes. “Do you want to go to bed?” She quickly shakes her head, ‘No.’  

 She quietly adjusts herself so she’s almost lying down on her couch; this isn’t going to last long.. oh? Hearing the faint sound of a sea shanty, I know and love. 

“What are you watching?” 

 “Pirates of the Caribbean,” her lazy smile wide, “it’s the third one.” Oh god, you’re killing me. 

“Hoist the colors high” I sing along under my breath. 

 I’m genuinely unable to look anywhere except for her; the way her smile hasn’t faltered since I clocked her watching pirates. Her eyes struggle to stay open as the lights from her TV flicker across her face. 

“Go to sleep, hun,” keeping my voice soft, “You can text me as soon as you wake up.”

 She blinks incredibly slowly, followed by a sigh. “Okay,” she murmurs. She waves quickly, tucking her hand back under her chin. 

I send her a small finger wave, lingering for an extra second to take her in, “Goodnight,” I whisper before hanging up. Oh, I’m so fucked. 

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Sunday 

“Have you tried any of those dating apps? You know, the swipey game-like ones!” Josh says, sounding a bit too excited. 

“I think I’m good on those.” 

“What about the lovely redhead you have a crush on?” he presses further. 

“I told you, it’s not like that.” 

Not pleased with that response, he rebuts, “Well, you need to get a girlfriend at some point.” He glances over to Quinn for a second before turning back to me. They’ve been sitting at the bar since he clocked out a while ago. I swear they hang out just to torture me. 

“It is a little strange, Jake..” They start, “You haven’t dated at all since I’ve known you.” Putting on their best ‘I feel bad’ face. 

“How is it strange?” I don’t know why I asked. 

The smile on their face was telling enough, “Are you sure you’re not.. ya know?” Following it with a subtle head nod towards Josh. 

“That would be a fun twist!” Josh spits out excitedly. 

My jaw slacks at the question, “WOW. No, I promise I like women.”  Shaking my head as I lean against the back counter, folding my arms over me. 

“Sounds like something someone who’s-” 

Josh laughs before he cuts them off quickly, “Oh Bug, he’s just woefully bad at flirting and can hardly speak up enough to grab the attention of the ladies who come in.” 

“I’m right here, hello?” I scoff, quietly pulling out my phone. 

Me: not my brother’s partner questioning if i’m gay or not 

Charlotte: Well.. everybody is allowed to have questions! 

Me: I’M NOT GAY DONT SIDE WITH THEM

I look up to see Josh staring at me, only to glance quickly at my phone, which is still in my hand. Shaking my head quickly with a slight frown, I avoid answering the inevitable question: “Who are you talking to?”  I know it’s coming because I know my brother, and boy, oh boy, does he love to know everything and anything that happens.  

As more people sit at the bar, I spend more time making sure that they’re all happy and just casually glance to the end, where Josh and Quinn are sitting. How they look at each other, like the other one created the stars and hung the moon, has always been so sweet to me. I haven’t seen Josh this happy in so long, and I’ll be eternally grateful to Quinn for being so good to him. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to come into his life. 

I scan the room, seeing a handful of empty bottles and glasses. I do a quick lap through the tables to grab everything. I make sure to say ‘hello’ to any regulars who are in tonight while noticing a few fresh faces. 

Seems like a lot of couples tonight. Seeing the amount of people sitting on the same side or the causal holding hands on top of the table. It’s all adorable to see; unfortunately for me, it’s always just witnessing romance. 

Coming back to my rightful place behind the bar, I catch a glimpse of Quinn planting their lips on my brother’s cheek. I can’t catch a break. 

Bzzt. 

Charlotte: Can we Facetime when you’re done working? I’ve napped too much today and I’m going to be awake all night. 

Me: i’m honored, of course we can  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Flipping the lock after the last customer strolls out, I can already feel my phone vibrate. 

“Well, aren’t you just breathtaking?” 

There she is, with her long red hair tied into possibly the most messy bun imaginable, in a too-big sweatshirt, curled up in what must be her bed this time. She looked like she had been napping all day, yet she was still insanely beautiful. 

“It’s SO late, and you can’t hold that against me!” 

“To be fair, you called me- I didn’t force this.” I tease, holding my one free hand up. 

Her smile widens at my point, “touché, Jacob.” 

After closing the bar and running upstairs, I prop my phone on the counter and rummage through the fridge. 

“What are you going to make?” 

“That is a great question,” I say, staring into my fridge with minimal options. Cooking at 2:30 am has always been a humbling experience, but at least I have company this time. 

Grabbing the leftover soup Josh made, I pull out the smaller saucepan we have. I take the time to reheat it properly because it means getting to sit on FaceTime with her. 

“What did you spend all day doing?” I ask mindlessly, “Besides harassing me while I worked.” I look at her, trying to contain my smirk. 

“Oh, hush,” she waves her hand at the camera, “mostly watching movies and trying to not let myself work since it’s Sunday- well.. was Sunday and all.” 

She still hasn’t told me what happened, even though I unfortunately figured it out. I won’t make her uncomfortable by asking, though seeing the way her face fell when she mentioned trying not to work makes me wonder if she has a hard time doing anything else. 

“I’m glad you let yourself rest,” I tell her, “you’re allowed to take days for yourself.” 

The look on her face is sinister as she says, “You should probably take your own advice there, Sir.” Letting out a small cackle, she knows she clocked me a little too fast on that.

I can’t decide if my body is warm because of her calling me out or the fact she called me ‘Sir.’ Either way, I dramatically let my jaw slack, clutching my chest just to hear her laugh again. 

“You got me there, Red,” I admit. 

“Have you taken a day off since I first came in?”

I simply shake my head. Maybe I do work too much, but what else am I supposed to do when I enjoy being there? The benefit of it being just downstairs as well is that I can visit my favorite place in the world within a matter of a minute. I know I could take days off and probably stand to at this point, but I also don’t know what else to spend my time doing. I’ve been eating, sleeping, and breathing for this bar since I bought it almost two years ago. I spend most of my time with my brothers, and most of my friends have moved away for college or just to escape the cold. Can’t blame them.  

“Jacob?” 

Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts, causing her to giggle when I jumped at the sound. 

“Lost you there for a minute, huh?” 

I chuckle, “Maybe for a second, but I’m back now.”

We move off the topic of work quickly as she tells me about the movies she watched in between naps today. She loves older movies, and I tell her I’m sure she and Josh would have a field day talking about them. She’s watched everything from Casablanca to A Walk To Remember and The Notebook. It’s cute how much she loves romance.

“What other movies do you like?” 

My eyes widened when I realized my other favorite movie was a rom-com. 

“Hah, well, besides Pirates obviously, I uh-” I hesitate for a moment, worried she will think I’m just trying to play into it. 

“You, uh, what? We’ve done this once before. You know you’re going to tell me,” she taunts me, and she’s absolutely correct. I want nothing more than to tell her anything she wants to know, which is definitely not stressing me out. 

“Love Actually,” I spit out quickly, rubbing my hand over my face. I’m not embarrassed that I enjoyed it; it’s a good movie- a great movie, even. I just don’t think anybody aside from Josh knows that. We’ve spent countless Christmas seasons watching it multiple times leading up to the holiday. 

“Are you serious?” she sounds mildly shocked. 

I nod my head, waiting for her to poke fun at me. 

“That’s precious.” 

I was unprepared for her response, fully ready to defend myself, and all I could say was, “Oh.” 

“If it weren’t October, I would put it on,” she says, and honestly, this woman will be the death of me. 

“Good thing November is right around the corner,” I manage to mumble out, still taken aback by the subtle compliment. We sit in comfortable silence for a moment. I can’t help but try to make eye contact through a screen, but when she looks into her camera, it feels like a small jolt shoots through my body. What is going on? 

I finally make it to my bedroom a while later; it’s now nearing 4:00 a.m. My phone is dying, and my exhaustion is creeping in, but not nearly as much as hers. Slowly but surely, she’s gotten more and more comfortable as we talk about anything that comes to mind. 

I let my phone sit in my lap as I pull my shirt over my head, leaning forward to toss it onto the pile of laundry I should take care of. Grateful it’s a bit easier to get rid of my jeans without her seeing it. Still, I can’t help noticing how her eyes wander to my necklace. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t take the subtle scent of beer anymore,” I speak lower, unintentionally. 

She quietly clears her throat, “Oh, haha, that makes sense.” Her eyes darted away from the screen as if she were caught. 

It was quiet for a moment until she let out a yawn, trying to hide it in her elbow. Her eyes stayed closed for a second longer. 

“Why don’t you go to sleep?” I whisper, “It’s 4:00 am.”

Her eyes slowly open to look at me. I can’t tell what she’s feeling besides being exhausted. She sighs slightly before whispering back, “But I want to talk to you.”

My breath catches at her statement. She wants to talk to me?  My heart feels like it could explode at any moment, and my hands start to shake. 

I nervously laugh, “What if I go to sleep too?”  

Her lazy smile creeps across her face. “Promise?” She sticks out her pinky to me.

“Promise,” I return the gesture quickly, “You can even bug me later if you want.”

Her tired giggle engraved into my brain, “Just you wait.” 

“I’ll be on the edge of my seat.”

“Goodnight, Jake.”  Jake.

“Sweet dreams, Red.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Six

Chapter Eight

FDOG Masterpost | Masterlist | FDOG Playlist

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[cerealforkart]

It's a sad song

We're gonna sing it anyway

[redactedgender]

songs i associate with redacted audio characters - speaker & listener edition

oh yeah baby, we back for round two

im not gonna include a singing voice claim for everyone this time around, but some of these might have them in there. also, im only doing three speaker characters this time around because im also including three listener characters. but, i will include four songs for the listener characters. just for funsies.

!! CW FOR SUI/ MENT !!

geordi

hate myself - dodie

; my poor sweet geordi. my little man. this song is far too relatable enough as is, but i have a feeling our resident tetris boy would relate very much to this song. specifically the chorus—“when you go quiet i hate myself” is almost literally about how geordi felt when he was first getting used to cutie’s silence. i can imagine how vulnerable it was for him. he’s getting better tho! which is exactly what i wanted!

voodoo doll - 5sos

; so a bit of a weirder pull for him, i like the idea that in the days after meeting and getting cutie’s number, his thoughts were just plagued with images of them in his mind. do i think they put them into his head? no, but this was early cutie, so it could have been possible. but i like the idea of one of geordi’s thoughts just going all conspiracy over why he kept thinking abt them.

wish me luck - wallows

; another sad one for our tetris boy, and this might even be sadder than the dodie song. i love wallows, theyre probably in my top fave artists, and all their songs are sooo good. this song just screams geordi to me. the genius lyric website says that this song is about “the narrator [is] asking for support and validation from a loved one during times of struggle and self-doubt, whilst talking alot about encouraging self-awareness and speaking out about inner conflicts and problems”, which. i mean. yeah, thats geordi and cutie alright! i imagined this when they were slowly starting to talk to each other again but were still really nervous about what the other would say.

━━

sam

leaving lonesome flats - dierks bentley

; so this song is. alright so its from the second trolls movie. BUT HEAR ME OUT OK. this is my sam singing voice claim and i think its damn near perfect. i would have done bentley's song “what was i thinking?” instead but i think the trolls song fits better. something about running and coming back, etc etc. listen, this song is just really good, and i think it makes sense for sam. that’s the only explanation i can give here dhsjdhjd

she keeps me up - nickleback

; i was not a fan of nickleback for a while, and now im kinda vibing with some of their songs, but this has such big sam and darlin' energy to me. like, look, darlin' is canonically hot as fuck (as confirmed by porter), and i really just think this song fits really well with their dynamic.

believe me - james and the shame

; so we're all in agreement that sam definitely has some kind of religious trauma (most likely catholic/christian) right? anyways, i only recently got into gmm last year, and when i heard this song i was like “there’s no shot that’s rhett from gmm”. knowing that rhett writes this from the perspective of someone healing from a religious past that was harmful was really empowering, and i think that it fits sam really well.

━━

blake

absinthe - idkhow

; this song is just cult leader energy. i know he isnt a cult leader really, but like. i mean. sometimes i think closeknit might see blake as some kind of deity or god to worship. but i can imagine blake lowkey liking having that kind of power for one reason or another.

how i’d kill - cowboy malfoy

; this to me suits blake because of the tone shift in the song. where it goes from slow and almost eerie to a bossa nova jazz type swing to it. to me, it reflects how blake is really like: the way he was around sunshine vs bestie, like in his “two sides to a yandere” audio.

if i killed someone for you - alec benjamin

; uh. well. i had this song on the playlist before the “for you” audio. and then the audio happened. so. blake-core i guess??

━━

darlin'

vampire - olivia rodrigo

; this is such an obvious fucking song to put for them but also i do not care it still fits. this is about quinn, obviously, and i think it especially hits hard after listening to their second vid with sam and how they mentioned finding another vamp that quinn had slept with. like, was this another manipulated vamp? this song just hits differently when you think about darlin'. and also, even if it’s overplayed, the song slaps.

paul revere - noah kahan

; there are definitely other noah kahan songs on my tank playlist, but this one is just such a good depiction of who they are. them coming back to dahlia, people recognizing them but them saying they’re not from dahlia, how dahlia doesn’t feel like home, like—something about that just really hits me in a way that i love.

howlin’ for you - the black keys

; this is my “darlin's go-to karaoke song” song. imagine them kinda drunk, feeling themself and having fun, singing this in front of their pack, and especially in front of sam. like it’s such a good song for them.

best friends - grandson

; this is here because in my little universe, darlin', david & asher were in a band as teens, and they covered this song. but also, this is such a teen!tank song. this was probably playing while they beat up tires in an abandoned parking lot. like i imagine david wasn’t as much a rule breaker as asher, milo, amanda, christian, & tank were, but you gotta admit their friend group were probably hellions in their own right.

━━

honey

disco man - remi wolf

; this is a good song that fits honey in my eyes. it’s sort of like about guy from honey’s perspective from earlier in their friendship/living situation. learning that the guy who won’t stop flirting with you with the cute smile is a creative writing major probably made honey regret crushing on him asjkgfhjks.

lego ring - faye webster & lil yachty

; ok this actually is inspired by oh, baby, baby by lovelylonerliterature because that is one of the best guy/honey fics i’ve read in a while, but i think honey learning to be softer and be a bit silly with it is so wonderful. also, i like the idea that guy would joke propose with something silly like a bread tie ring or a lego ring but honey would fully take it as a promise for the future and just break guy. what can i say, i like making our pizza boy flustered. and so do they.

“listen to your heart.” “no.” - cheekface

; this is just based on vibes. guy sings most of the song, honey only sings the “no” lines. i’m a genius.

soft bitch - rio romeo

; awww, honey you sap you! no but seriously, i imagine that honey often thinks about how much guy has changed them for the better. and they haaaaate it. y'know that one tiktok audio where someone’s like "he makes me smile—OH WHAT THE FUCK"? that was honey when they realized they had a crush on guy. and this song kind of embodies that too; honey isn't used to being sweet, but being with guy has made them into a sappy person, which they never thought they would be, and how much they actually enjoy it.

━━

freelancer

just existing - daysormay

; so not only is this my favorite song at the moment, this is also my freelancer theme song basically. the lyrics "it always took too long to learn how to slow down / chasing shortcuts and serotonin touchdowns" and "maybe i lost drive / i'm searching every day for relief / and chasing a break that i don't really need" feels like our resident (and chronic) overworking deviant. this also works when you think about freelancer singing this and each of the verses matching with one of the D.A.M.N. crew boys.

my body - young the giant

; a song about feeling the need to overwork yourself to get better at something because you have a fear of failure and falling behind, in my freelancer playlist? how ridiculous! /j no but in all seriousness this song is a perfect depiction of their need to keep pushing, keep working, to be perfect. i think even when they know they’re good at something, they have to be better. they need to be better to prove themself.

empty bed - cavetown

; so this is a bit more of a depressing and sad song for freelancer, but one i think still makes sense. this reminds me of early s3!freelancer, still healing from the inversion and terrified of everyone they love going away. how they grew up, how they hide their pain as best they can so they don’t bother anyone with their problems, but how they dont want their friends to deal with that kind of pain. how they don't want the D.A.M.N. crew to be in pain, but was so hesitant to let the others know their own pain.

babyface - artio

; so i found out abt artio recently, and when i looked them up on tiktok and saw the lead singer, rae, i immediately said “oh, that's crow!” (for those who dont know, crow is the name of my freelancer-sona). this is very specifically for my freelancer-sona, but i think it stills works for canon!freelancer. how their people pleaser tendencies can make them so quick to change themself for others but how they’ve slowly grown to be more confident in themself.

━━━━

this took. far too long hdsjhd

i am still considering sharing my spotify link on here, so if you want to see which of the redacted audio character playlists are on the app, pls let me know!

[hiddenbysuccubi]

1999. The brunette pulled her hood lower on her head, absentmindedly checking that her watch was still on her wrist as she looked blankly around Restfield cemetery. It was a quiet, clear-sky night.

"See, someone's got to tell the tale. Whether or not it turns out well. maybe it will turn out this time. On the road to Hell, on the railroad line..."

Joan couldn't remember the last time she'd seen so many stars. There certainly hadn't been many on the Cleveland Hellmouth in 2012, not after all the pollution and fires. And being here was like wading through a dream - surreal and sluggish as molasses - as she let her feet carry her via memory. Hopping up to sit on a headstone, before fishing a flask out from her coat's pocket and taking a hasty swig. To counteract the time-travel dizzy spell.

That was another thing. The name, the clothes, the years, all changed her from 1999's version of "Buffy". So did the... she took a half-empty pack of King Mountain Reds out of a different pocket, slid a slender cigarette out before swapping the pack for a lighter and lighting it. A habit she'd picked up specifically because the scent helped her cope... after. She still coughed, every time.

At least the autumn air wasn't freezing, it might even have been warm. But Buffy hadn't felt warm in almost a decade.

"Weather ain't the way it was before. Ain't no spring or fall at all anymore."

And even despite her apathy, she winced when his presence slid against her senses. Before he sauntered over, game face on. All punk bravado facade. Without raising her head, staring at his boots in the grass before her, she silently held out her flask. After a beat, and with a bemused scoff, she felt him take it. Step out of her view, and then plop down on the headstone next to hers. Only then did she dare to look up. Look at the profile of his face, which was back to that of a man, without seeing. She was pretty sure her heart had stopped beating. But then, she'd sworn it had done that a lifetime ago.

"Rough night?" She asked not unkindly, offering a drag off her cigarette when the vampire handed back her flask, now much lighter.

"Could say that." Spike sniffed beside her, tilting his head to eye her with curiosity.

It's a sad song. We're gonna sing it anyway.

[painstakinglybad]

That's right. I'm gonna post Stardew headcanons

Assigning Stardew Bachelors/Bachelorettes songs that I've played with my band

(I'm sorry Penny enjoyers, she's not here because I didn't have anything that would work for her)

Alex

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz

We're starting strong with this one

I feel like he'd listen to it while he's working out. He totally listens to rock and a lot of it's subgenres

The song is fun to play, it's groovy (literally and metaphorically), and it just feels like him yk

Elliott

Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

I think he's existential. He's a writer, how can he not be??

Totally spiritual, he just doesn't talk about it

One of those people who has a very polite and respectful relationship with the concept of death

Harvey

Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult

He listens to classic rock sometimes… he wants to feel cool

Really lonely, but he's chill about it (on the outside 🥀💔⛓️)

Dad bod brings dad energy

Sam

Greener - Tally Hall

HERE'S THAT PART AGAIN WHERE EVERYTHING'S WHERE IT SHOULD B-

He's so… early 2000s rock music

Dramatic teenage boy I swear

He'd probably listen to Tally Hall– that's probably what his music sounds like too– or Good Kid

I resisted the urge to mark him as Even Flow

Sebastian

Reptilia - The Strokes

Oh, he is edgy, and oh, how his heart aches

He makes sure no one is at home and just screams it out I just know it

If he did vocals he'd probably sound like Julian Casablancas– or at least have the same energy

He probably listens to The Strokes anyway, it's Alt Rock and he's 100% the alt part

Shane

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

He is… so very sad

The song is about,, subjects… subjects that apply to him

He'd probably be an RHCP fan

Abigail

Godzilla - Blue Oyster Cult

She's funny

She's a nerd, and she totally rocks the fuck out to this 😭

Probably tried to convince Sam and Sebastian to cover it, they absolutely agreed

Emily

Misery Fell - Tally Hall

She's weird and metaphorical

ABSOLUTELY one for peace and love and acceptance

Spiritual mom going through a midlife crisis - coded

Haley

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears

I think it's very her in the sense that she's ambitious, but a little narrow minded

Probably listens to music in this style or from around this time for the aesthetic

This song has a really annoying structure, just like she's annoying to interact with before you gain her affection

Leah

Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie

She probably listens to Death Cab

Absolutely wrecked in her last relationship. She felt unloved, and, much like the song suggests, the relationship itself was going nowhere since neither party were really made for each other

She's so sweet and I love her like I love singing this song

Maru

Rio - Duran Duran

There's just something about it

I feel like she'd listen to Duran Duran to begin with

She's really unique– and special- she's very much different from the other Bachelorettes since almost all of them exist in my mind as the same archetype- like Rio, she is an individual