#it's all still very new yk
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I just finished Dead Boy Detectives and I'm low-key disappointed in the fandom for not mentioning
"Are you always a woman"
"Yes"
I MEAN EDWIN?? WHERE ARE THE FRICKING HEADCANONS????
#just the fact that this was an actual scene#makes me think that they will bring ot up again in#season 2#it gotta have atleast some importance?#atleast i thought that we would get some headcanons!#but nooo#hopefully we just have to give the fansom some time tho#it's all still very new yk#dbd#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives agency#edwin paine#edwin payne
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the internet was cut off and i ran out of data so i asked my brother if i can connect to his hotspot and downloaded dol on my phone,,,,,,,,,
#were in the process of moving !!!!!!!!!! new apartment has wifi !!!!!!!!! but more importantly were not homeless !!!!!!!!!!!!!😭😭#my time completely cut off from everyone was very much like the pic LMAOAOA#dol was the only offline game i could think of that wasnt some dumbass puzzle game or something#i even play this shit in public cause i literally have nothing to do without internet except maybe look at my gallery for the 400th time#i turn off the combat animations tho so its just all text when im outside 😭like im brave but not THAT brave#but anyway its safe to say that im getting back into it again 🧍♀️#last time i played dol was before the pregnancy update and like knowing u can get pregnant now is scary#like what if im not prepared to take care of a fictional child#will i be a good mother?????????? i dont want to traumatize the kid and subject them to the horrors of the town like????????#im still like kind of early in + i still have yet to explore the other stuff i never did during my last playthrough so im pretty excited#also somehow course of temptation was still running in the browser i have opened on my chrome so yk..............#played a bit of that as well.........................#its so funny how every npc has names its insane and i love the phone thingy too#ok thats all i think#frambling...?
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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GRAHH my favorite lashes arent enabled for men. whatever
#i do hate u still have to like. have your sim be a man or a woman#bc cadaver is not a man per se. yk. that thang is as fluid as it gets he literally gets srs like monthly. in the normal/potentially now au#and in possible just the new normal its ass is a shapeshifter...#but. i think he does have a masc frame..... sometimes he does have bobbies its all on a whim#he has very fast healing so.#hes so hard to make in the sims . mainly bc i just dont like making “male” sims in general. idk what it is its like so hard 4 me to make#them look good its why like all of my sims r lesbians. SRY!! it just comes naturally to me and ive made so many gorgeous women
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (｡ﾉω＼｡) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌🏾😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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while i think it's fair to worry about how much they're going to change certain stuff, i also think there's Way too much doomposting surrounding bg3's changes in characterisation
#'they changed lae'zel' its literally a greeting.#which changes w different levels of affinity#and according to what i've read it was always in the game files but wasn't working?#she's pretty much still the same in the main plot and in her romance#and the whole thing w gale being more lenient about the magic items is literally bc he would leave if you closed the inventory#without giving him anything#like literally the only real change in characterisation that i've seen has been astarion and his opinion on the mizora thing#that and the gortash gay letters that were changed#other than that the changes have only added scenes (mostly related to epilogue stuff which may have felt lacking at first) and fixed bugs#i will also say that wyll's part in all of this has been Very lacking because he truly needs more content in comparison to astarion#but if they're willing to listen to fans? maybe they Will add stuff?#and about the added lines to the gortash scene.... adding more dialogue options is Not changing the characterisation of a character#it's literally giving you more options. if you don't like them you can literally NOT press the button#OH. i've just remembered. halsin's new thing. not going romantic on you if you didn't flirt with him#that's also another characterisation change i noticed. but that's a coherent one#if you didn't flirt with halsin why would he. yk.#anyways. i'm seeing too much doomposting. worrying about this is normal but people are being so pessimistic#mona.txt
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thoughts on TWS, the new pledis boy group that's debuting in january?
i mean. the only thing i know about them is their name, so i was probably the worst person to ask this to im sorry 😭
#💌 - mailbox.#💝 - nonnie.#svt seem hyped for them and very brotherly already which is very cute#im still very new here in the grand scheme of things so like. I don’t know how this works#but I haven’t seen really anything about them at all so it’s difficult to have an opinion at this stage. ygm?#like. I hope they’re not all still actual children? or at minimum i hope if they are a young young group that they are looked after well#and if their music is good I’m sure I’ll give em a listen! I wish good things for them for sure#it’s just. and this has been the case with me personally for years. I struggle when artists are very very young because all I can ever think#about is like. this young person is surely very talented but they could not buy a glue stick or a pair of scissors#and then I get the yikes thinking about how much pressure they’re facing meanwhile when I was 15/16 I cried if I ripped my tights. yk#and the industry seems very competitive and people online can be brutal over the tiniest little things#I went on a tangent. anyway#sorry this is probably miles away from the answer you wanted nonnie😭 i just don’t know anything 😭🩵
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update i've written like. 3k words of the goromi encounter chapter tonight (for this fic). gonna keep at it but i thought y'all should know: yes it's been like 3 weeks, no i haven't forgotten about it. she's been marinating. i've been cooking up some good shit though and i'm SO SO SO excited to finally be getting to some parts of the outline that i just realized y'all aren't aware of yet. hehehehooohoo >:)))))
anyway hopefully it should be done within a couple days :3!!! thanks to everyone for their support so far, i swear i'll respond to the comments eventually. i look at them and giggle likee. embarrassingly often lol
#it's been one of the toughest chapters to really figure out how to write because the balance between the canon dialogue and how i wanna#spin it character-wise is kinda complicated. also i don't wanna just. copy the whole exchange. nor do i wanna insert new dialogue#(for the goromi hostess minigame part of it). but i managed i think#it's also very much the climax of the story (though there's a couple chapters after this) so like. less slapstick and more oh BIG emotions#oh how to work the you're not a woman line into a trans affirming reading of kiryu. the literary gymnastics i'm going through. y'all.#i mean it fits with my characterization in the fic i feel but it's still kind of a headache to fit everything together yk#i was also kinda putting off going through all the goromi dialogue options again.. not bc i don't love her i just got brain stuck :/#nyarla dni#rgg#anywaay i've really only got the end scene left to write. im gonna go back and edit what i've written tonight first though
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btw i think i may be attempting to enter into a long distance relationship w erik.
#ik nobody cares i think its annoying to constantly talk abt ur dating life on here#but like. this is my diary. so.#basically the deal is.i may very well be setting myself up for failure and heartbreak. but also i will regret it for the rest of my life#if i dont try#he feels important. like this feels different than it rlly ever has before. he felt important before i ever had any romantic feelings.#and like. idk if it was just bc i was so emotionally exhausted from all like the processing feelings and talking abt them and stuff but#he slept over. and i can NEVER sleep if someone is in my bed. but i slept really well. like literally in his arms i have NEVER been able to#sleep while im touching someone not once in my life.#this is so embarrassing lolll bc literally since i met him ive been talking abt him on here like 'oh my new friend i think hes into me but#im trying to just be friends' well. mission failed.#also my mom and my sister bc of COURSE any time i speak to a man its like well do you like him are you dating him. and i was like NO we are#just FRIENDS god can i just have a FRIEND#and so when i tell them. god it is going to be sooo humiliating. also he has multiple satanic tattoos so if he meets my mom....#long sleeves on that day methinks!#um anyway im getting ahead of myself. basically we had a talk yesterday abt all my doubts abt getting into a relationship when hes abt to#leave and we kind of talked through what we would do to make it work. I told him I still couldn't give him a sure answer bc when im with hi#it feels like it can work but when he was gone the other day after our first talk abt it i felt so sure it wouldnt work so i need to#sleep on it and think abt it without him there but idk i think i know my answer like at this point i feel like its worse to wonder.#i have to try yk?
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perhaps a lot of my b*tw issues are actually due to my own expectations for the game and by extension my dislike for botw fans
#b*tw fans will sct like its the sinoge best zelda hame and like its leagues above and its like#its fine to like it its fine to not like the other zelda games (through gritted teeth)#it is a totally different genre. to me. yk. it feels like a new game which is fine thats what they were going for i surpose#its a huge rebrand for the series n i cn appreciate the aspects of it if i dont try to force it into my personal mold of what A zelda game#is.#also this doesnt include the orientalism with the gerudo. that shits fucked up no matter what#ir is NOT a botw specific issue#but yk. b*tw ws a very. disappointing game 4 me#bc i love older zelda games n botws whole thing is that it. breaks the format entirely andis different from every other game#which is fineee its allowed to do that and im allowed to not like it and other ppl r allowed to like it.. i just have trouble#and also it annoys me that a lot of botw fans r like. Just botw fans. and not loz in general fans.. But still use the loz tags#not that like. idk i dont wanna sound gatekeepy obv th main loz tag is like. botw is a zelda game (even if imo thats in name alone)#but ppl will cross tag botw specific posrs with every other zelda game like. it annoys me#and also i think the fanon portrayl of botw is so fucking annoying i want all of you to jus to bee hornets#and i blame fucking l*nked *niverse that racist fucking cunt. GDDDD#whatever though#its like. its very well done. it can be pretty (personally the art style doesnt appeal to me a ton) the music is very original while also#being a good callback to former games. the sound design is Actually phenomenol#it just isnt for me i think. n yk. it sucks bc like#idk. there will be zelda games after totk#and i hope theyll be. different. and a return to formula#idk...#i do also appreciate like. as much as i say that botw doesnt feel like a zelda game to me#zelda is deeply personal to me.. n i recognize that it Is a zelda game#and i like all of the small references to other games.. i appreciate that#i cn tell the team rly love the world of zelda n im glad for that.. just personally i love the like mechanics and gameplay of former zelda#games. yk.... thats all#n ik. i literally am just going I want more tp. but i do wish we could have more like that...sigh#its ok. i will just rewrite oot in my brain#and botw too i accidentally said oot. i do need tl rewrite oot though bc .. um anyways
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okay so um. apparently tumblr has started terminating accounts when people use vpns on desktop? idk if theres any major evidence of this but its been happening to many people apparently including people who have previously used vpns and been fine (its been happening more with the bot resurgence apparently) and i dont want to risk it but the thing is for the next eleven days im stuck in a country were tumblr is literally banned and i cannot access it without a vpn so um. im not gonna be on tumblr for the next few days !!! if you need me ill still be on discord and if youre a mutual who doesnt have me on there ask luce (@legobatmen) for it. bye i will miss you all very much<3
#i am. genuinly quite upset about this. bc tumblr is the many place were i talk to many of my friend esp luce#nd she doesnt even get discord notifs so -__- literally f uck my life#also i had a whole plan for a thing i wanted to do next year and like. start the blog nd stuff for at new year -__-#starting it a few days late isnt a huge deal but still#idk man im just very upset by this. ik ppl laugh at the idea tht social media can mean tht much to a person but like.#this is were i talk to all of my friends basically . nd i can do tht on discord. but not as much yk . nd i already wasnt enjoying this trip#as much as if we had j stayed home. ugh#idk maaybe ill make more shit if im not j scrolling tumblr all day . silver linings ig#also luce im sorry for not asking b4 telling ppl to dm u for my discord u r j the person i trust the most when it comes to sharing it w ppl#also most likely no one will ask bc most ppl i otherwise talk tohave mydiscord already yk#anyway i shld finish this post bc itsnot smart for me to keep being on tumblr rn. bye will miss u guys sm<3#flappy rambles
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just finished breaking bad
#spoilers ahead so! tread lightly#breaking bad#bc i binged a lot of this show some episodes do not stick out to me like i cant tell u what happened on which episode or even which season#the naz!s were so left field like i think the story would still be the same without the hooked cross tattoos#it was surprising how the drug cartel or whatever didnt have much involvement in s5. like why did i think for sure theyd relocate to mexico#a follow up wouldve been nice is all im saying#OK. characters! my fav were mike jesse gus skyler and saul. hated walt literally since day 1. didnt change much up until the end#listen i can understand the concept of characters being morally bankrupt egotistical narcissistic abusive and manipulative#but walt was just . not charming enough a character to do it sorry he is what he is. sorry to him but i cannot stand him#i can appreciate some of his monologues though! fly (episode) was great for that the show needed it at least in my opinion#i like that all the characters are fundamentally flawed ! walt is at his core insufferable but he makes a good tragic story👍🏼#hank was so stupid like? 😭 when lab equipment from walt's school were stolen i thought that'd be it lollll#it was well written for the most part i think!!!!! some parts needed suspension of disbelief but whatever yk#what matters to me the most is whether i cried or not and yeah. yeah i did cry!!!!!! so what!!!!!!!!!#THEMES. obv theres change/corruption... power and abuse of power. toxic masculinity? and family. living life to the fullest if ur insane#also!!! just finished el camino and i liked it! simple story but i like the themes in it. this man's been through so much#jesse was point blank a victim of abuse and im glad he gets to leave the past behind and move forward with his life#owned up to the choices that gotten him up to this point. had control over his life again and building a new future for himself#very cool. also the ending of brba? i think it's good enough i mean i cant think of anything more fitting#but man did he do some incredible... maybe irreparable damage to his family huh. midlife crisis things <3#i hope they heal <3 somehow <3#wait about the themes too in brba!! one is reaching ur full potential... again if ur insane#idk maybe sometimes it's ok to flop. just as long as ur enjoying ur life and ur happy... i think that's fine! walt u and i will never agree#izza💭
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DEATH UNTO DAWN ON SPOTIFY 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#pls. listen. it has the tea ost n the nier collab n sorrow of werlyt n eden.#it has so many osts dear to me uwahh i've been waiting. so long 😭😭#looking at the album properly now that i'm back home from feeding the cats. help one of them even followed me from the#lower ground lvl to. 2nd floor HFLAKSJFLKSD. those cats. r very dear to me :<#back to ffxiv though. not only w ^^ but there's also hearthward.. ishgard my home. oh my god#n then. danshig naadam iirc? the 'a __ air __' around the start. my fav frontlines map hehe. i miss frontlines honestly#oh my god the scions & sinners stuff too 🥺#spotify wrapped w to the edge at the top fr. OH MY GOD THIS MONTH#W KH FINALLY. YK ON SPOTIFY 😭 riku n dearly beloved those osts mean so much to me hehe n then#FFXIV NOW TOO 🥹#so weird listening to these on spotify. this means i can remove a lot of my mp3s now that i downloaded from yt hdkfajsdkfl#i remember yk? IM GNA CRY SO BADLY I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE#I MISS. EDEN SO BAD IT HURTS. i miss raiding w my friends i miss laughing w them i miss calling n then. clearing. together.#i miss meeting new ppl. n. oh that one silly friend i still rmb those compliments man he made me attached for a bit i can't deny that but#IT'S JUST. FOND FOR ME TO LOOK BACK ON NOW.#n then. with this is just. endless small reminders of what i love in life so much. yk these memories these people these emotions n thoughts#all these stories. fuck. i feel like. a kid again n it's. smth i've missed lately. it soothes me so much n comforts my heart n soul n mind#sweet serenity oh how i missed you. yk that. that certain peace even though the world around me may be. yeah#even if the apocalypse wld come to test us all or smth i know that. the love i just have for. life wld. yk always return.#i'll always keep it close no matter how much it'll fucking hurt.#i love ffxiv so much i really do it just. yeah for the past few years has become one of my homes fr. always gives me comfort#always makes me remember myself again yk? hdflasdjflkd.. i miss emet-selch can you tell one reason why he's. rlly special to me#like bro he's. i mean. i find him. oh god how to put this i find him attractive fuck it but uh. his uhm. form as solus is.. he's#ffxiv shb grandpa simulator jokes for a reason 💀 but my bro i loved you ever since i knew you EMET-SELCH HE'S JUST. SO#SO ANNOYING. FUCK. PROMISES TO KEEP RN JUST MAKES ME EMOTIONAL ALL THE TIME. THE ORCHESTRA MAN#i want to write so much but. my mind is such a mess rn. but it. i feel better. i remember again. it. hdlfajsfkdjf :^) 😭#i. have sm to write. but i just wna cry i'm overwhelmed again but it's bcs i love. ffxiv sm 😭😭 imy n ilysm not just ffxiv but. everything
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made a carrd 😎 pls enjoy going thru it I put in so many secret links<3
#it looks much better on desktop btw but I tried my best#it was very fun 😎😎😎😎#I still don't think I need one but yk ... it was fun so fuck it 💓#and new bio layout for it<3#all the links
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watched a comp of the cutscenes in sonic frontiers and it was v v good god bless
#i have problems with it yeah. but like#most of the problems i have *might* be solved#like. everything is still shrouded in so much mystery but also. sonic is an ongoing franchise and if sega wants to continue this storyline#then hell yeah!!!#just wished there was a lot more meat to it??? like lore-wise yk since that was what i was expecting for it to expand more on#most esp after knux's prologue short so. yk#most of the lore thingies they set up are still very. in the dark but as i said : sonic is an ongoing franchise#but i think when it comes to the stories the characterization is like. the strongest part of it???#although i wish for a more emotional scene with knux but is it really in character for him to get all mushy with sonic??? not really#idk i just. yeah.#sonic frontiers#sonic the hedgehog#sth#also shhhh i'm a new fan i just became a fan months ago#sonic frontiers spoilers#?? ig ???#the tags are the spoiler-y parts anw
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wish i could post my paintings of theatre stuff here bc i'm really proud of those (my theatre keeps making amazing adaptations with SUPER COOL costume and lighting and setting and colour and visual symbolism choices) but alas. the chance is low but very definitely above zero that i'd doxx myself HARDCORE. but maaaan. trust me when i say that stage is just plain amazing. i need to live in the theatre
#a biscuit's rambles#im new but i never wanna leave theatre circles again#the people are so chill#weird people go there. like who else#i can be a part of something huge and amazing#im an artist in various ways and i adore literature and art and symbolism and conveying meaning#and i need to eat those productions#i need to absorb them forever#my grandma and grandad were huge theatre enthusiasts apparently. my grandma still is even if she doesnt usually go#she said it might have skipped a generation and i think shes right#suddenly ive got my ideal life figured out lmao#work in a theatre enough to live and write#i am going to be a published writer dammit no matter what but living off that is. hard at best#and i love the theatre so much#there are incredibly few things who have defined me as a person as much as my theatre#also im making a new friend i think#a few years younger giant theatre nerd and closeted trans :) i will befriend them. idek why but i met them at the premiere and yk what#i wanna befriend them so badly. we actually texted bc of smth regarding our shared fav actor#(who sadly left)but who was a huge inspiration for both of us bc Holy Shit Openly Trans Adult Enby Person!!!! And Theyre So Cool#and they asked abt smth bc they had to leave earlier and i said hopefully next time u get to stay......#sooooo#thats how you do social right. thats how being social works#anyway. theatre ramblings. i always get carried away#still think its funny af tho#bc its all black and white#and you forget bc everyone is b&w. the entire stage is b&w. thatd how it is#and then you leave for the breakroom halfway through and run into The Ghastly Spectre#(paper white actor with very black pronounced eyes etc with no colour on them showing At All)
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