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#it's been something more like static
sfucked · 5 months
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triangular-static · 27 days
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okay this is one of those things that i imagine people who read journal 3 a while ago already knew but i'm just reading it now so.
static when a dimension is destroyed that's fun huh :] when the cause is a dimensional rule being broken :] i wonder if the same kind of rule would apply to whatever bill did trying to show a 3d reality to a 2d world :]
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zytes · 1 month
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buzzmind
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lemongogo · 9 months
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
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#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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"What do you dream about?" Demeter asked, staring intently her acquaintance. And that's what Alonzo had become, she supposed, in the stretches of time the queen was left to her own devices since coming to Macavity's domain: an acquaintance. Maybe Demeter would go so far as to call him a companion - an associate in misery. Better than the "co-worker" that he'd sarcastically thrown out when another henchcat was snagged sniffing too close around her. That one had...annoyed her.
Regardless of what he was, it had become enough of something that Demeter found herself passing her thoughts through him; practically or otherwise. Almost like she cared about his response.
"Me?" Alonzo remarked lightly, too quickly to have been fully thought out. "I don't think I've had a dream in maybe five years." He sounded his usual nonchalant, but the queen heard the tonal change- the deflated flattening of words as he avoided looking her in the eye. Demeter had noted that all over - how cats would quickly avert their eyes at the first sign of disagreement or mistake. The Palace's equivalent, she thought, of showing one's belly in submission...regret, perhaps. Strange.
The queen bit her lip, confused by the tom's words, feeling the hair on her neck stand to attention. That is to say, Demeter's dreams had started blurring into emptiness - a recent and rather startling change that warned of something foreboding she had been hoping she was wrong about, and that'd not at all been the reassuring answer she was looking for. "What do you mean?"
"They, uh…kind of stop around here." Alonzo blinked a few times, as though considering what he'd admitted to her and regretting it instantly. His tail paused its twitching, and Demeter was suddenly very aware of how heavy the air was around them. The base of her spine was suddenly alight, claws digging deeper. "Or maybe," he continued, hasty. "I just don't remember what they were about."
An odd ringing swelled in Demeter's ear. Then nothing.
Now Alonzo is staring at her, brow furrowed, looking wary in a way she couldn't put her paw on. The general stony expression had slipped fully open for a brief moment, pained and frightened, before being carefully smoothed away again. "Why do you ask?"
Demeter caught her tongue between her teeth, considering the truth, but a whisper inside her pushed the thought aside, gently and carefully, like tucking a newborn under a blanket before smothering it.
"No reason," she murmured instead, charming and avoidant in the way that had rarely failed her in life thus far. She pushed herself comfortably into a lie instead. "Just curious. Mine have been rather...odd."
Odd. Sure. Better than nothing.
Alonzo didn't believe her for a second.
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succulentsstars · 3 months
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Everyone describe the what you think the tour will be in one sentence in your tags and whoever is closest wins
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theokusgallery · 28 days
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I see it now! I was literally reading and listening about their relationship in your podcast! i really thought that Statice and Nick DESPISE eachother. This AU is interesting, I love it vry vry much. Im not fond of it at first because I can't really Imagine Basil. Basil doing all of that stuff. because he's my favorite character(and I can't really see him being like that). But I eventually learnt to separate them and sees Nick as his own character. Like an actual oc(Still sees him a little bit as Basil if you understand what I mean)( can't wait when Sunny's other friend gets revealed or maybe the parents. *Maybe* they're not that important to the story but the CURIOSITY IS TOO STRONG AND SORRY FOR YAPPING HSJSKAK IT MUST BE TIRING TO ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN)(Also excuse my grammar also, english is not my first language 😣)
-Anon from the previous previous post.
(the aura I felt after asking that is unimaginable. I used to be so shy to ask anything on people's blog so Im a *bit* proud of my confidence!)
Oh I see !!
Yeah Nick is... more or less an OC, he's got very little to do with Basil now. I refuse to cut of all ties to OMORI/Basil because it's very important to his origins and taking that from him would be taking out a lot of how I personally see him, but, well... He wasn't exactly based off of normal in-game Basil, either, so it makes sense that he's very different. He looks different, acts different, has a different family, age, personality, story, nationality even, different interests... He's like, 70% OC and 30% OMORI AU. Basil is also my favorite character, and that's not how I see him at all either.
I understand why you thought Statice and Nick hated each other — to be fair, there aren't a lot of people who don't hate Nick, lol. Being around him and knowing why he is the way he is makes it easier to love him, though.
#also no parents are important to the story — in nick and statice's case their abscence is what counts even#so i dont think they'll ever even get introduced#i'll do something about the third friend eventually when i'm motivated enough but tbh--#--that plotline is one of the earliest things i worked out about the AU back when it was really just an outlet for venting#so it's not very detailed. i have a very good idea of the events but. yeah since it was for vent purposes and im better now--#--i guess i dont. really want to think about it anymore. lots of things have changed in my brain since november...#i like playing with arsenic and sunny like dolls. it's less about having a concrete storyline and more about playing around with dynamics.#i've always been a slice-of-life person and this is no exception... i'd rather just take snippets of their lives to think about#i like the more mundane aspects. i like putting them in different circumstances and seeing how they'd act#but i'm not super interested in making this a very structured thing with a beginning then story then ending#this au is very personal to me so i guess i like thinking about it and explaining things about it more than i like. making Content for it#there's a difference between Content im giving people and what i do with that AU. so it doesnt end up looking very logical or structured#and it's hard to understand some things if you're from the outside looking in (like statice and nick's relationship for instance)#most of the characterization and info is hidden away in discord chats. sorry everyone#btw ! PLEASE dont be afraid to send more asks i LOVE getting asks like you wouldnt believe#you're not annoying for asking about things i promise !!!!#i love talking about them ! so much !!!#if someone gives me an occasion to talk about them i will NEVER SHUT UP (as im sure you've come to realize by now)#i love asks !!!!!#arsenic#rant#ask#anon
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bravevolunteer · 10 months
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idk when i made my movie verse i was trying to keep it as unobtrusive as possible since everything was so fresh but man….. thinking about all the mike afton theories where he wasn’t necessarily too young to remember anything related to that but his “memories” are just so unreliable due to trauma
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thelaughingmerman · 2 months
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Everyone's always hit me with the "you're a hypochondriac" so I stopped mentioning symptoms to my parents and now that leaves me in a bind because my anxious ass trying to deal with getting this stuff sorted? Horrid.
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complicit-rot · 3 months
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i haven't been this social & talkative in Years someone drag me out back
#rambling to myself in the tags just go ahead n pass by 🫡#u've been warned#i can feel the burnout(?) creeping up on me & its been. two days.#at least my friend is reassured i'm still in their life every few months 👍#even if i end up hating being dragged out places i know a little relief feels like a lot to other ppl#but i also just. hate being involved at all. esp if its pity but also when they genuinely want to talk with me. which sucks!#i hate thinking like that. however it just feels like the most logical path sometimes yk? after (gestures vaguely) everything?#i'm childishly obsessed with the aspect of destruction. me or them carrying it out it doesn't matter#any sort of socializing feels like grinding stone together whether or not their intentions seem as pure as possible#it feels like my socializing button is broken and my battery is locked at 2% 24/7#its not that i actively try to keep myself locked in self serving cycles to stay pitiful lord knows i hate being pathetic#i despise being miserable. it may not be Everything i know. it may be comfortable or familiar or whatever edgy shit#but it takes so much energy to have any emotion. i feel like i wrung myself dry in elementary school#ultimately i know i'm capable of Having Emotions. they're just all buried beneath 78 layers of static that don't seem to be there for other#i try to be social. even when i know Deep down i like them i end up hating every interaction. no matter how smooth or funny or whatever#i seem to have this blanket that makes everything heavier on me. i don't like being weighed down but sometimes i have to comply else#i know i'll just fucking crash out for the next however many years & end up being more hurt than i began with#<- metaphor doesn't make sense bc i ditched it half way thru but you get the point#be social to the complete detriment to my health & appease others or hurt other ppl (something i don't like doing bc i know how it feels) &#end up ''''saving'''' myself (trapping myself further. lose/lose). i wish i was completely exempt to people paying attention to me#i Hate wallowing in this fucking pity. this whole woe is me evvybody huwt me so now i feel nudding :( schtick makes me feel so weak#i like feeling strong by socializing. sometimes i get this litttlee inkling of maybe i should try & put myself out there More but it always#comes with the same results. one of these days surely it'll change (<- bearer of the curse) (<- but still has hope despite denying it)#yes i'm in therapy yes i'm working on my social capacity slowly instead of getting my boundaries ran over at top notch speed by my abusers#sometimes i need to say the self pitying shit out loud to knock me to my senses & be like 'if a friend said this i'd criticize them'#'if anybody else thought that you'd cringe so hard and be filled with That Specific Misery you feel & hate so much' ohhh right. my bad
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famewolf · 11 months
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honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'
me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!
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one of my friends may be able to get me a rollator 🎉
it belonged to their grandmother (i think?) and they've been given the OK to give me one which is actually really exciting
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julystruck · 11 months
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I hope we're still friends, yeah, I hope you don't mind
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vaugarde · 1 year
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i'm sorry you're feeling bad love :( i'm always here if you need anyone <333 and for the oc asks i'm curious about what valerie's relationship with her parents would've been like if the situation wasn't. That
ndfjfjfjfjf ty love…… 💞💞💞💞
ahhhh valerie’s situation would have been. Bad. omg i’ve actually made some doodles relating to this WOW if only i had my sketchbook on me rn.
tbh i just dont see it ending well at all. she would probably split time with both frost and surge (they werent together to start with i believe? may change that but they split pretty quickly) and frost was Not excited to be raising a child again. she just got rid of the last one, dammit. like with marlow, she does the bare minimum for valerie. just feeds and houses her with none of the love. she would mostly just ignore her daughter and pawn her off to other people as much as possible.
surge would be comparatively better but…. they do not know how to interact with kids. theyre a battle-worn brute who isnt afraid to use underhanded tactics to get what they want…. and i think valerie was always gonna be the softer type. so its a relationship thatd probably be better once she was older and they could bond with her through battling, but i dont think it would have been fantastic during her formative years. theyd probably butt heads a lot due to their different ideals anyways. like theyd have their sweet moments probably, i think at the end of the day if anyone can break surge’s shell, its their daughter, but its like castor and bruno probably where they care about and love each other but there are Unresolved Issues There
valerie would end up being touch starved and not nearly as socially adept as she is in canon. she wouldnt know how to talk to people, she’d be incredibly insecure in her interests, she’d probably have a bad
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regina-cordium · 10 months
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Pro tip; if u have a headache, exacerbated by both ur period and ur loud workplace, do not put your hair up in a ponytail! It will make u curse the day u were born.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh?????????#fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment#like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now#and but like i really really should not b. like hello?#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged#but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control#but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal#like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what???#not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening?#im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically#and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down#but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance#like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down#thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all#the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well#idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor#but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function#issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor#bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine#i mean. its not fine but like its fine#sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull#can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk#itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails#dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess#hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle#ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting#im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo#idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally#unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now#unrelated
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