#ive been getting better at it in the last couple of years! especially this year

[famewolf]

honestly, I think I'm going to wait awhile longer to finish bg3. been working on allowing myself time and space to let my whims flow where they may, and I recognized I was getting stressed for not having finished it in a 'timely manner'

me shaking myself: it's a fucking game!! play it as much or as little as you want!!!

[eatmeandbirthmeagain]

Hi bestie.

If you are taking requests, how about Baldwin x reader where reader is all touchy and lovey dovey with him. Like always hugging him , spending time with him, caring about him , trying hard to make him laugh etc. (but they aren’t partners yet since he thinks he is a leper and all but still deals with reader being all touchy even tho sometimes she hugs him too tight from the excitement of seeing him it hurts) reader won’t speak about her own feelings out loud either but one time while she was hugging the king gives him a very shy small tiny peck on the bandaged neck 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 then leaves. Later on a wealthy fine looking knight/prince whatever asks for her hand in marriage and her parents approve as well. He goes to congratulate her but she starts crying telling Baldwin how cruel he is for he never notices her feelings and how she only cares about him not because he is her king but because of what a gentle soul he has and how every time she sees her she falls in love with his eyes and how brave he is despite all the suffering he does his best for the kingdom and she doesn’t even want the privilege of being the queen.

Maybe some happy ending ?! Like while in ceremony the priest asks her to say yes to the prince/knight she glances at Baldwin one last time he even nods for her to say yes but she suddenly decides to run for Baldwin and say no !? Maybe this softens Baldwin’s heart and decides to take her finally!?

Sorry if this is too long and dramatic.

Btw some flowers for the bestie cause she is an amazing writer💐💐💐

♧ Take Me, All Of Me - King Baldwin x Reader ♧

♧ Angst ♧

A/N: Hello Anon! I just want to apologize for how long its taken to get to your request. Thank you so much for your kind words also🫶. I hope it's what you had in mind! As always, this is based on the film Kingdom Of Heaven, not the real historical figures. Enjoy!

TW: Leprosy, General Angst

Lady y/n was never shy about her love for Baldwin.

She and the young king had been friends since they were children. Being the daughter of Baldwin III's most trusted friend meant that she and her family spent many hours in the palace of Jerusalem, during which time she had become well acquainted with his son, Baldwin IV. 

The two had always liked each other as more than just “friends”, but after Baldwin's diagnosis, everybody including him, thought against the idea of the young prince ever being wed to anyone. 

Everybody of course, except y/n. Despite everything, she loved him. A lot. Even if that love could be a bit too much for him at times. 

Y/n often embraced the young king, her hugs were warm and firm. The type of hug that made him feel as if everything was right with the world.

Oh how he longed to embrace her in return and stay there for eternity. But alas, he hid his feelings deep inside himself. He believed it was better that way.

Sometimes she hugged him too tightly, causing his midsection to ache. Y/n would apologize profusely but each time he insisted it was alright.

Baldwin hated how frail he was more than anything. He wanted to be hugged and squeezed, shown love and affection but it was just not possible without a surge of pain raging through his torso.

They spent a lot of time together, whether it be working, talking, playing chess, sitting in the courtyard, or just visiting different cities, they were always together.

Baldwin was the calmer of the two. He always had been. But that didn't mean he didn't love her excitement. She always found a way to make him laugh, even in the darkest moments of his life.

Y/n never spoke of her feelings for him, but they were obvious. Especially when she would press a tiny kiss to his bandaged neck, just before pulling away from an embrace.

Their relationship continued on like this for years until one day, a strong, young knight asked for her hand in marriage.

With her parents' approval, the young couple were soon to be wed. Y/n was distraught. She didn't leave her chambers all day and when Baldwin came to congratulate her, he found the young lady sobbing with distress.

“Y/n! What's wrong?” he asked with worry and terror in his voice for fear that something may have happened.

Upon noticing his presence, y/n stood with anger and pain in her heart.

“How dare you come here” she shouted.

“How could you be so cruel? I have loved you for years Baldwin but you have done nothing but ignore me. Ignore my affection and love”

The young king was confused but still felt horrible.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry I-”

“Save it Baldwin, I have loved you since the day I met you. I love you not for your title or your power. I love you for your gentle soul, your wise words. You're the bravest, strongest man I know. I can't believe you think yourself unlovable because of some damn disease. But it's too late now, I will be wed. And you have missed your chance”.

Y/n stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, leaving Baldwin stunned and hurt.

How could he have been so careless? Looking back on everything, her feelings were more than friendly.

They were feelings of love.

----------------------

The day of the wedding came fast and y/n had refused to speak with Baldwin for weeks. She even refused to read the letters he sent her and ignored him at every chance she got.

And yet, Baldwin was more distraught than she was. He wanted her more than anything, and she believed he didn't.

His heart had been hard and refused the idea of a wedding for so long that he had completely ignored her. He would have done anything for one of her hugs, even if it hurt him.

Seeing her stand on the altar, hand in hand with her future husband caused Baldwin more agony than anything ever had. It was a kind of pain he had never felt.

Sharp and bitter. Tears stung in his eyes as he held back a broken sob.

For the first time in weeks, y/n looked over to Baldwin one last time, seeing his eyes pleading and filled with tears.

Finally, just as the final vows were about to be said, y/n simply couldn't take it any longer. With one last glance at the knight, she dropped his hands and ran to Baldwin, pushing past people as she went until she found his arms.

The young king welcomed her like a breath of fresh air, and this time as she embraced him tightly, he embraced her back even tighter.

They melted into eachothers arms and in that moment, Baldwin swore that he would never let go again.

[invissimp]

Yule Blues

Draco malfoy x reader

Summary: Confusion during the holiday season wasnt something you wanted to deal with especially with the Yule Ball in a few weeks.

Snow. Thats always how you knew Christmas was around the corner this year the first snow falls just so happened to be on a trip to Hogsmeade.

Although you were walking with Hermione, Ron, and Harry your plan was to meet up with Draco at the three broomsticks halfway through the visit.

Draco usually didn't even bother trying to get you from your house friends mainly because they were overprotective of you since your best friend is their "rival".

So that's why you decided it would just be better meeting him somewhere other than him trying to find you in the small village.

Glancing towards the left seeing Ron looking at Hermione while she was explaining how the Yule ball was going to work. On your right was Harry since he and Ron weren't really on 'talking terms'.

Although you felt bad for Hermione for leaving her alone with Harry and Ron while they weren't talking to each other. The other part of you was happy to finally visit the three broomsticks with Draco since last year you only did once.

Glancing down at your watch almost every 3 minutes to see if it was time to go see Draco. Although there was a good chance he was already there you still didn't want to leave your friends so soon.

"You know we're not stopping you from seeing Malfoy right?" Your red headed friend asked.

Taken aback from his niceness towards Draco even if it was hard to make a comment about Draco mean Ron always found a way to.

"You guys wouldn't mind if I went ahead and left to go see him?" You asked

The two boys just nodded their heads while Hermione let out a simple yes to the question. Before they could even say bye you were gone heading towards the three broomsticks.

Bringing your gold and red scarf up to your nose since it was still a couple minutes walk. Glancing around to see people from different houses and schools walking into each store wanting to see what was in each one, especially the third years.

Smiling to yourself thinking of how last year Draco mentioned in one of his letters towards you during the summer he said that he wanted to be the first one to take you to all the stores. (you both knew that wouldn't happen) He really did enjoy your company.

Ron would always joke that he liked you more than his own housemates and he fancies you.

You had always denied the first part but the second half is something you wished to be true since in all honesty you were completely in love with Draco Malfoy. Would he return your feelings? Most likely not he probably fancies Pansy Parkinson.

Shaking your head to get out of your thoughts only to be met by a Durmstrang student, Steven Bottom. There had been rumors about his plan to ask you to the Yule ball. If worse comes to worse then yeah you would go with him. Although you would prefer to go with a boy from a slytherin house.

“Ah Y/N what a pleasant surprise to see you here.” The Durmstrang student said with a grin.

You always knew you were somewhat short compared to your friends, especially Ron and Draco but Steven was a good 6’4(1.9 meters). Smiling up at him “Nice to see you as well Steven.”

Although his name didn’t get called from the goblet you knew he put it in there. You two had been in the library a couple times so you can explain to him what all happens at Hogwarts and just to hang out with someone new to school.

Although you had been walking by yourself to the three broomsticks, why not walk with Steven. “Care to walk with me?” 

Nodding his head to your question already following you.

“So has anyone asked you to the Ball yet, i’m sure their has to be some people that want to go with you?” The Bulgarian asked with just the slightest hint of desperation in his voice.

Now the smile on your face has went down a little but not by a whole lot “Yeah a couple people have but ive said no to all of them I been waiting to be asked by a certain person.”

Now that definitely caught his attention “So no date yet just making sure?”

Shaking your head for a no to his question while glancing up at him just to see him wearing the same grin as he had before when you first ran into him today.

Seeing that you were only about a minute away from your destination was a plus since you really didn't want to keep this conversation going and end up rejecting Steven just to wait for a boy who won't even ask you.

Taking a deep breath of oxygen before asking you “So can I be that certain person to ask you to the Yule ball I mean we can have a great time there and it wont be a waste of your…” Draining out his rambling once the three broomsticks came into sight and thankfully Blasie was outside.

“Bloody hell Y/N your finally here I thought you werent going to show and then I would have to deal with a pissed Draco all night which is NOT on my bucket list.” The slytherin said warning that Draco might be in a bad mood.

Glancing down at your watch to see that Steven had slowed your walk down just by talking to you and now the trip was a little over halfway. Looking up at Steven to see disappointment in his eyes made you feel bad a tad bit, just a tad.

“We can finish this conversations some other time yeah?” you said more like a statement than question before walking into the three broomsticks.

This place has never failed to feel welcoming, hell even the most sad human could walk in here and be cheerful just for the day. Looking around to see Madam Rosmerta had put up the Christmas trees and decorations. 

Obviously it was busy since it was the first day, darting your eyes around looking for the boy youve been waiting to see all day. Finding him in the back corner which you couldn't really see because of one of the many Christmas trees.

Smiling softly at him, you knew he had been looking at you since you've walked into pub. Taking in his appearance his gloves and scarf had been on the table corner and your seat across from him had already been pulled out for you to sit in.

Walking over to the table and pulling off you gloves. 

“Well look who finally decided to show up only 10 minutes late.” The seeker said sarcastically while moving your gloves over on the table.

Glaring at him “I could just leave right now and never talk to you again.” You said with a serious face on.

Knowing you was just lying to him he rolled his eyes. That was his specialty knowing your humor and personality better than anyone could.

Sitting down finally after almost 2 hours of walking.

—

Talking with Draco made time fly by fast for sure it had only felt like 5 minutes but in reality a hour and half. That means only about a half hour longer to talk to him.

“So what was you and Bottom talking about in the street he seemed pretty happy about it before you walked away?” Draco asked

Confused on how he would know but Draco read your face and pointed towards the window that had a perfect view of where you and Steven were talking.

“Oh he was asking me about the Yule Ball and if I have a date yet to it.” you replied softly, now that was something that caught Dracos attention he doubted he wouldnt know if you were going with someone but you never know.

“So are you?” He asked trying not to seem to interested, shaking your head a no “Just waiting for a certain someone to ask me but if he doesnt then I might go with Steven.” 

No way you could ever go with someone but Draco, seeing you even talk to someone else gets him mad enough but dancing would be another level of madness. 

Nodding his head to your response. “So have you been asked or ask anyone yet?” You said curiously with just a hint of hopefulness in your eyes.

Draco knew lying was terrible, although hes done it before he hated doing it to people he cared about(even though it was just you and his mom). Draco didnt know why he said what he said it just kinda came out of his mouth. “Im going with Pansy I also asked her.”

Looking at your eyes to see the hopefulness fall out of them and be met with sadness and a weak “Oh.”

Now the converstation had gotten awkward enough to the point you might as well just walk away.

Which is exactly what you did. Before Draco could even realize it, you had gotten up and left the pub leaving him behind with your gloves.

———

Trees. Christmas trees to be exact had been put up all around the school to celebrate the spirit. Each student also got to make a ornament each year to put on a tree.

Some were common like a snowflake, bulbs with intials on it. The weasley twins always did magic on theirs to make it extra special and stand out.

This year Heromione made hers a cat with whiskers that move every few minutes. Ron’s was a simple broomstick that he had Hermione make it where it can fly around to different trees each day.

You never put much thought into your ornament since you’d only see it for a week and a half. But this year you and Draco planned on doing matching ones. His was to be a black swan and yours a white one.

It was your mission to avoid him of course but that didn’t stop you from still fulfilling your part of the plan. It was late at night and Ron requested food from the kitchen, Harry offered to come with you but you denied since it was better for just one person to get caught and not two just in case.

Knowing that the chances of running into anybody were slim and Harry had already checked the Marauders Map before you had gone out to make sure Flich wasn’t anywhere around.

Stepping foot into the kitchen to see just a few elves around. Requesting the food that Ron and Harry wanted along with a few drinks.

Hermione told you to make it quick since their was no warning if any teacher decided to take a stroll around the halls. Getting the food from the elves and responding with a small “thank you” before walking up and out into the hall.

Walking back towards the Common room felt even longer, the longest thing that you’ve experienced even potions or charms. It was bound to happen after all, footsteps were heard from behind you. Here comes detention for a week.

“Y/N.”

You could recognize that voice from anywhere, the one where you heard for weeks but haven’t had a conversation with. Draco Malfoys voice.

The inner gryffindor in you was not coming out, all you wanted to do was run away and not stop to talk to Draco.

Before your plan to run away could happen the slytherin done turned you around to face him.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated like it was simple knowledge. If anyone else saw him they would say he looked angry or annoyed which he did. But his eyes had just a hint of sadness in them.

Over the years knowing Draco’s facial expressions have gotten easier, enough where you can see across the great hall with one glance to know if he was going to have a good or bad day. Which was him making fun of Harry or leaving his comments aside.

Deciding to test your luck with him and see if you can get away with it. “No I havent just been busy with the Ball and stuff like that.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s the truth.”

“You know I can read you like a book right?”

Having no comeback to that and just looking at him. It was bound to happen eventually knowing that he would talk to you. This wasn’t one of the ways you pictured him finding you alone.

“Why did you leave out of the blue in hogs meade after I talked about the Yule ball?”

Well he definitely got straight to the point for once, Draco wasn’t known for that usually everyone would have to guess about what was wrong with him or what he was trying to say.

Not right now though, not when you his bestfriend, crush had been avoiding him for weeks now even after he planned on asking you out that same day and just say it was a joke about Pansy.

Lost at words to respond to him, he looked as though he was going to say something. You couldn’t bare to hear it, how he was going to make fun of you about not having a date.

So you ran. Ran as fast as you could, faster than when you pranked Ron. Running down the hallways to stop by the fat lady portrait, you could hear Draco’s faint footsteps in the background.

Saying the password and slamming the portrait shut to be met with Harry, Ron and Hermione all staring at you with wide eyes.

“I like draco Malfoy.”

————

Part 2

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Okay. Okay okay okay. So. This is a HUGE discovery. Death caps and destroying angels are two of the deadliest mushrooms in the world; both are in the genus Amanita. Both species contain both amatoxins and phallotoxins, though the latter are likely not a major factor in the massive cell death that occurs in the liver and/or kidneys after consuming these mushrooms.

The most medically significant of the amatoxins is α-amanitin. When a deadly Amanita is consumed, you're likely to get the expected gastrointestinal upset that accompanies many toxic mushrooms within a few hours, and they may last for a few days. Then you start to feel better--but you can't just say "Okay, learned my lesson, I won't eat THAT one again." That's because α-amanitin has been stuck in your liver and kidneys the whole time, destroying their cells left and right, and its deleterious effects are catching up to you. So you can expect to end up in the hospital, potentially dealing with acute organ failure.

Supportive care generally includes IV fluids and electrolytes along with penicillin, oral activated charcoal, and other medications, along with hemodialysis and hemoperfusion. Some people have needed organ transplants, and numerous people have died, especially those who got medical help too late.

While compounds from milk thistle (Silybum marianum) have shown success in treating amatoxin poisoning in a small study several decades ago, there hasn't been much follow-up since. Recently, researchers studied the molecular effects of α-amanitin, and discovered that the enzyme STT3B plays a crucial role in creating N-glycans that facilitate the cell death caused by α-amanitin. Then they went looking for anything that could inhibit STT3B from a list of possible treatments approved by the FDA.

Enter indocyanine green. Developed as a dye for photography in the 1950s, it received approval for medical use a few years later, and has been used for everything from measuring cardiac performance to opthalmology. But it just so happens to also significantly reduce cell death both in vitro in human cell lines, and in vivo in mice. There haven't been any in vivo studies in humans just yet, but results are very promising.

There's one limitation--indocyanine green must be given as soon as possible after ingestion. When it was given eight or twelve hours after α-amanitin poisoning, it was no longer effective due to cell death having already occurred.

Still, the fact that we now have a potential new tool in treating acute α-amanitin poisoning is a massive hope for the future. Couple this with increasing education about safe mushroom foraging and how to identify poisonous species, and we could see a significant reduction in poisoning from those two deadly Amanita species.

[shigayokagayama]

Uh Oh I Thought About The Music In The Finale Too Hard And It Started Bothering Me Again

ok so aside from one of my favorite scenes in the entirety of mob psycho getting cut from the last episode, a decision which will haunt and torment me until my dying days, my biggest issue with the last episode was always the music and i think ive been able to finally pin down a coherent explanation as to why

disclaimer: i am not a music expert. i was in choir in middle school and i like listening to people who actually know about music talk about music, but this is not a professional opinion so take it with a grain of salt

so first, 99 playing during reigen running towards mob. my problem with this is less the song choice and more that the anime decided to completely change the tone of the entire scene. like, 99 works perfectly for the hype exciting scene they were trying to create! i just dont think this scene should have been hype and exciting. this isn’t a “music is tonally inconsistent” problem so much as a “tone is inconsistent with events unfolding” problem so im not going to put much focus on it.

what IS tonally inconsistent though is the next track that plays after it (timestamped)

this scene is supposed to be not just the reveal that reigen is okay but the reveal that dimple, a character who we’ve spent the last six episode thinking was dead, is alive! and the music they chose is so... sinister??? wouldn’t something more triumphant or energetic fit here??? i get that it has to segway into a really emotional song next so it can’t be too upbeat but wouldnt something like this maybe fit better??? it’s another song associated with dimple possessing someone who isn’t especially powerful to let them achieve something they normally wouldn’t, it’s pretty dramatic, it’s exciting, it has kind of an emotional through line in the back of it with the violins???

the next song is perfect. no notes. the second i heard it in the mob character trailer before season 3 dropped i was like “oh theyre going to use that for reigen’s confession” and i was 100% right. in fact, this song being so perfect for this scene is what makes the next song choice so confusing.

huh? what? why???? on the elementary school level of “well this is labelled mob’s theme and this is mob’s moment of self acceptance so it has to go here” i can maybe understand but it is the most jarring tonal whiplash i have ever felt watching a television show. this is music that we normally here when mob is fighting an enemy, this is supposed to gear us up for conflict. it does not fit the bittersweet catharsis of mob accepting his whole self at all.

ive seen two different edits with different soundtracks i prefer, one with “Passing my heart, I'm getting bigger” (at least im pretty sure thats what its called?  すれ違う心・大きくなったなぁ?) and one with “Mob’s Kindness”. personally, i feel like mob’s kindness would be the best option. for one, one of them already played at an emotionally climactic moment during the final episode last season so it might be a bit weird to do it a second time. second, for when we last heard “mob’s kindness” it actually fits really well with this scene on a couple different levels.

just the title of the song on its own fits with the scene. it’s the first time mob really extends kindness towards himself rather than trying to repress it or smother it in guilt and self loathing. we also have to consider the last place it was used and how that echos this scene. the first time we hear mob’s kindness is in season 2 episode 1, following the line “i made the decision to consider my feelings more”, a line which fits really well with what the “100% shigeo kageyama” moment is trying to get across. “shigeo kageyama” is mob’s repressed power and, more relevantly, his repressed emotions that he’s been bottling up for years now. “mob” flaking apart and forming “shigeo” also kind of visually echos emi’s novel getting ripped apart and brought together again by mob’s power, so that’s another little mirror between these two scenes. mob putting emi’s novel back together is the first time we see him using his powers for another person, not to save them from any sort of threat, but just as an act of simple kindness. it’s the beginning of a realization he has during the mogami arc, these powers arent just a burden, he can use them to help people. and he doesn’t even need to limit it to that, he can just use them to express himself and have fun because they aren’t just tools that can be used, they’re a part of him.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Ooo I’ve missed you!!! This idea just came to me if it’s okay!!

Can I please request a Big brothers!Tangerine and Lemon x Younger sister!reader where when they’re on the Bullet Train, things of theirs keep disappearing, the case, their phones, wallets, etc… Turns out Y/n, a 15 year old girl had been pickpocketing the both of them, and she’s so good at it that the two expert assassins didn’t even notice until she took something bigger lol, the case hshs. Anyways, after they deal with the Prince, they come in guns blazing expecting the thief to be another assassin, not just a kid. They take her under their wing?

Y/n reminds them of a younger them? (Also she’s a foster kid like they were)

hii!! ive missed you !! and yes, ofc, always! love it, I did change the age to 17, hope that’s okay, just so it’s closer to be an adult (as I only really write adult readers) thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

…

sneaky findings

tangerine x fem!reader x lemon (platonic)

word count: 740

✧.┊ MASTERLIST

You haven't been dealt a good hand in life, so you've had to supplement it in other ways. Your ways just so happened to be dipping into the pockets of others- literally. 

Because you were a child in the foster system, you moved around a lot. You regularly met new kids, and so you'd pick up on tips and tricks from the others- granted, most of them were illegal, but better yet, they were tricks that became a habit and what would later become the reason for your survival. 

And this brings you to today: sitting patiently on the bullet train at Tokyo station with your ticket and last 200 yen. You were in desperate need of a little extra cash, so you were hoping and counting on some good finds on your trip to Kyoto.

When the train left the station, you got up as inconspicuously as possible, avoiding attention as you sneaked down the aisles, slipping your hand into the passenger's pockets and swiftly back into your own. When you were in the connecting carriage area and safe, you would assess your findings. 

Usually, you were pretty lucky: new makes of phones, fancy watches and sometimes genuine gold bangles. So far, it wasn't so good, just a couple packs of gum and mostly empty wallets. 

You try your luck in the next carriage, immediately spotting a couple of Englishmen in designer suits up ahead. They weren't your typical target, but you had a solid feeling about these two- they were bound to have some expensive things for you to pocket and sell. 

You slowly walk down the aisle, a brochure in hand as you pretend to read through it, skimming over the page to create the illusion. Once you are sure they're busy with the other guy at the table, you slip your hand into their pockets, pulling out their wallets and phones. 

You reach the end of the carriage and stop once more to assess your findings before spotting something in the luggage area, the silver briefcase you overheard. Grabbing it as quickly as possible, you hide it in your bag, covering it with the scarf you stole from earlier today. 

After a few more snatchings, you stroll to the lounge and instantly slump into the comfy seats, kicking your feet up on the opposite chair. The area was empty, so you could finally add up your profits from today in peace. You did a lot better than you thought, especially with that promising silver case. You just had to get in there first to calculate your total earnings.

—

"Oi, you!" a voice calls out from behind, startling you.

You sink lower in your chair, hiding the exposed back of your head.

"I can still see you."

"That’s the girl?" another one says. "She's a kid?" his voice getting closer.

"You stole all our shit," the first says, walking towards you. "Think it's funny?" He snarks, pushing your feet away to sit on the opposing seat. 

"No," you shrug, pulling your findings closer to you.

"Take it easy, mate. She's only a kid."

"A kid? Lem, she stole all our shit."

"It's pretty impressive if you think about it."

"My stop is coming up," you lie, adjusting yourself to stand.

"Hm, yeah, I don't think so," the first guy shakes his head, holding his hand up. "You're gonna tell us how you knicked our stuff, then give us our shit back."

The other guy stands beside him, crossing his arms, staring you down as if to intimate you. "Nah, I'm just kidding," he laughs. "Just tryna scare you, but didn't work," he grins, nodding to his partner as he mouths something, then turning back to you. "Lemon, and this is my brother, Tangerine."

"Like the fruit? I like it." 

"That's the first," Tangerine scoffs, shaking his head. "You're a bit young to be travelling alone, aren't ya?" He asks, glancing around the empty carriage. 

"No," you shrug.

"How old are ya?" Lemon asks.

"Seventeen,"

"One sec," he says, pulling his brother aside. "We really could use the extra hands. Could you imagine how well we'd do? ... she sorta reminds me of us." 

"I can hear you," you interrupt. "Not being very quiet and assassiny."

"Zip it," Tangerine says over his shoulder. 

"What'd ya say? That a yeah?"

"Yeah, fine," Tangerine sighs, walking over to you and snatching back his phone and wallet. 

"Wanna join us?"

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

tan taglist: @tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @angel-of-new-orleans @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things @astermath @dynamitehacke @boldlyimportantface @charmedkim @fruitlovertangerine @psiiconic @bubblezuku @sporadiccherryblossom @landryslove @daenerys-supremacy @dontknownameauthor @honestly-who-even-is-this

[frecklystars]

i still feel absolutely fucking nothing for my f/os and im so depressed and i wanna die and my birthday is friday and i hate my birthday and i just. rahh. i wanna self ship again. thats it!! i just wanna self ship again thats literally all i want to do!! but instead ive been in and out of the hospital every couple of weeks bc i'm having so many panic attacks that make me feel like im going to die

i am so fucked up from all the bullshit i was put through these last 2 years that i cannot fucking function, i am so paranoid all the time that anyone who interacts with me is out to get me because they [redacted reasons i cannot publicly state]. it doesnt matter if ive known someone for 1 day or 10 years, i dont trust anyone online anymore. i dont trust anyone who's nice to me because so many times it was people with malicious intentions. i dont fucking trust any TF blogs, ive been blocking any TF blog who interacts with me On Sight from all the shit that ppl from that fandom put me through.

there's 600 new inbox messages now and i havent opened any of them. people are sending me dms every single day and i havent opened any of them. i hate that my distrust towards irl people has bled into self shipping and now i am just Too Depressed to self ship. it is my anniversary w/ a character who's supposed to be such a comfort to me today and i feel Nothing. driver used to be Everything to me. driver used to make me feel so comfortable and safe. i feel so numb when i look at my f/os, there is just nothing there. it is my birthday soon and i should be so proud of myself for fighting through all the bullshit my abuser has thrown at me but i feel Nothing. self shipping used to help me at least cope with the depression. i just want to have my comfort characters again. thats it. i wouldnt care how many people are trying to kill me or stalk me or attack me if i just had my f/os to help me cope thru all of it

i genuinely think i'd feel better if i tried to be online and make edits and draw more and interact with the sweet people in my inbox. i used to feel so so so much better when people would send me nice asks, F/O reassurance, fics, fanart, etc etc but at the same time i will see a nice ask and immediately believe "oh. this is a trap. this person is going to pretend to be nice to me, try to get closer, but it's a trap" based off of MULTIPLE traumatic events my abuser put me through the last 2 years. this is such an unhealthy mindset to have, to not trust anyone kind to me, and i wish i knew how to turn it off. ive never been paranoid like this, ever, until a series of events happened this entire last 2 years and i just. i cannot fucking trust anyone on this stupid website, my god, someone sends me "hi keri! how is your day?" and my brain is like "oh hey look out, that person is pretending to be nice to you but they're actually trying to harm you!!" i will look at a group of online friends i've had for OVER a DECADE and that paranoid voice in the back of my head who worries from experience "oh cool this person is after me now. this person is out to betray me. this person wants to hurt me. it doesnt matter if we've been best friends since childhood, this person absolutely is out to get me now"

i hate everything i was put through these last 2 years and especially these last few months, one day im gonna spill my guts and tell everyone what has been happening to me bc its so goddamn unfair what ive been put through day after day, and i am sick of letting all of it fester in me without being able to tell anyone whats going on. i dont even know if its still ongoing rn bc every time i think "oh, maybe it's over" it just fires back up again. the stalking, the harassing, dude dont even get me started on the fucking stalking, do you know how fucking Not Normal these people are who have been trying to physically harm me irl and online? do you know how fucking psychotic someone has to be to spend YEARS of their life trying to make me miserable when i dont even know these ppl, im just fucking sitting here? the stupidest goddamn shit possible. i have never met these ppl in my life but they're following the orders of someone else and just. being fucking insane. if you knew what someone was putting me through, what a large group of toxic disgusting people have been putting me through these last 2 years, you wouldn't even fathom how dangerous it's been and how shitty it's been. ive had to call the police on a few of these people. you have no fucking clue what i've been going through and how exhausting it is to feel so unsafe every single second that you're alive. this shit eats at me constantly. i don't get any peace of mind. i think one day this really will kill me but at least i won't have to deal with it anymore if i'm dead. and!! i hate that i have that mindset! i hate that every time i drive to work, i hope beyond hope that a car is going to obliterate me. that isnt normal!! i should not be hoping to die!! but genuinely i dont think im ever going to be safe ever again and im so tired of dealing with this fear every single second every single day for years. years!!!! every second!!! every single second im awake i am fucking stressed out of my goddamn mind!!!!

months ago, i queued so much driver stuff for today, and i almost want to delete all of it bc its so. useless. dude i feel Nothing for my f/os. i feel unsafe with my f/os because i feel so unsafe with 99% of the people i interact with online because of all the horrible things ive been put through all this time. it's all pointless. i dont know if im ever really going to come back to blogging regularly. i just wake up, i go to work, i have panic attacks and i throw up, and then i go to sleep. sometimes i come here to vent and then refill my queue, but what is the point of refilling my queue anymore tbh. i keep trying to go through the motions to see if i can reclaim self shipping one day and then i can just bounce back, but god its been several months and ijust cant do it. i cant wait for this to kill me, ic ant wait for this to finally make me snap bc im so so sick of going through this every day. im tired

whatever ill delete this later and it wont even matter lol what else is new. keri makes another vent post about feeling depressed and unsafe. fork found in kitchen or whatever

[toasts-httyd-hyperfixation]

Alright i can't decide so y'all are fixin to do it for me

I have several things i wanna work on but i cant pick one to do so ive been doin none of em

Options are

Redoing the Httyd Timeline and Ages post i made a while ago. Its all mostly accurate and the things not explicitly stated in canon i still stand by, but i found a couple other things to add in, and overall its a lil messy cause its from when first started making longer posts, so it could just do with an overhaul to clear it up a bit

Im trying to go through and make a Full AU list, with Name and a summary of what its about, so i can actually talk about em here, as well as sorting all other AUs out properly. These were all talked mostly via the Discord Server, so its literally sorting through whats gotta be hundreds of thousands of messages from over the course of >1 year. Which its great because ive deeply enjoyed talking to everyone ( Shout out to the Discord Buddies, Love yall, you're the Best🫶🫶) but my god, i should have kept on top of it lol.

This one i don't know if anyone else even really is interested in, but y'all are getting it eventually regardless, because ya know you can't stop me from making posts here, no matter how much yall may want to sometimes (Toothfull my beloved <3). Anyway the gist of this one is, idk if its just me, but a lotta times when i hear ages in a book, i understand it, but it doesn't really connect. So i like to go and find other characters and people that are the same age, especially in like movie or shows, where i can look at people that are the same age and go "Holy Shit, they're just babies" or such as the like as that if they're older (Mostly in Alvins case, that man is not as old as a lot of yall probably think he is, or maybe you don't, who am i to say what you do or do not think)

Number 4 is essentially the same thing as number 3 but height related instead. I just like making visual comparisons for a lot of these things, cause it helps put things into perspective, as well as its nice for like drawing and stuff.

This ones just Goofy. I have several sillier ships that ive had over the years, some that just fall into crack ship territory. Some of them i do actually think would be cute/sweet, others are just for the sake of going "Could you fuckin imagine". So im making a poll, much like this one, with a brief explanation, and then yall get to vote on em. I dont know if itll be for the Worst, The best, Which One is y'all's favorite, i dunno, but its gonna be something.

And then the last one i can think of is, i really don't know how to explain it, but it's talking about how, in my opinion, the Vikings view of hiccup is being accurately portrayed? Like, that's a really bad summary, but i can't think of how to explain it better so, this is kind of a vague, mystery option

Anyways, those are the options i got for now

Im probably forgetting something but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everything'll eventually got done

So with that said

[spoopydooblr]

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

[hffhifjou]

Seeing your drawings has made me want to get back into drawing. I’m so rusty though but that’s not surprising since it’s been months lol. But anyway, I love your drawings and how lively they look, facial expressions, body language, it’s so dope. Can I ask how were you able to progress? Like did you study anatomy books and things like that? Sometimes I hate being so precise especially since I feel like anatomy calls for that, but I have to endure it if I wanna get better

FIRST OFF im so glad bby that is a huge compliment‼️

to start here’s my progress in the last couple of years

2019-2021 2019-2022 2020

you need to give yourself time, you can’t improve overnight.

anatomy is very much a big part of my art, mainly because i enjoy it a lot. but ive never actually opened an anatomy book, so if you’re not into that dw, there’s only so much you can read anyway. Id recomend studying references. and im not takling about those dramatic anatomy refs on pintrest, i mean just basic pictures of like some guy just standing there.

the positive is that if you figure how one guy moves his arm you’re gonna know how everyone else does too. everything else is just mass.

AND don’t be afraid to use references!! USE THEM!! that’s the easiest way to learn!! apply anatomy to your oc’s, and you’ll want to do it more!!! IT DOES’T EVEN NEED TO BE THAT CLOSE!! ex: this one’s from last year i think

[pushingdaisies1]

ੈ✩‧₊˚  ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇ

Summary!!: As the cordyceps destroyed the world you used to know , you stayed alone for a good couple of years. You took a guess that any other civilization was hell on earth or tarnished to bits. Though at that point , hell seemed way better than any of this mess. With your travels as a smuggler , you met two people by the names of Joel Miller and Ellie Williams. Haven't have not seen really any living human beings in ages , you decided to join them on their mission to get to a certain fireflies base. Upon the time you spent with them , you grew to care for the two. Especially growing close to Joel. Even growing a sort of parent and daughter relationship with Ellie , you couldn’t expect ever leaving their sides. Settling into Jackson was a beyond good choice. The community was welcoming and nicely guarded. It allowed you to finally be at ease. But that comfortable feeling was going to be fractured sooner or later. After someone from your past turns up and finds you in Jackson , a lot of realities come to the forefront. Leading you and old man Miller having to actually talk about your relationship. Authors Note!!: WOOOO THE LAST OF USSS!! Ive been a huge fan of the game for a while , and the series already has me hooked. I wanna swarm this game with all my love. So I decided to write some good joel x reader. By all far he is one of the most intimidating characters I have written for. Mainly cause this is my first time writing for the game and I dont wanna fuck up any personalities. Strap in because this one is gonna be a long , angsty , fluffy ride. Content Warning!!: Canon typical game violence/gore (aka descriptions of violence and the reader getting their shit rocked) , deep diving into backstories (specifically the readers since I made up a whole faction) , child death , more game universe than show universe ,  allusions to a fem!reader (had a daughter before the outbreak - also gets called mom a couple times) , and brief mentions of suicide idealation , Spoilers for like the first and second TLOU game , Kind of edited? I am still going through some spelling mistake lol. I understand if some of you wanna sit this one out , love ya guys <3                                     ⋘══════∗ {•『 ♡ 』•} ∗══════ ⋙ For the longest time , Joel Miller was the one person to always plague your thoughts. After a while of getting to know him more , and getting close with Ellie the humanity you once berried so down inside sprawled awake. You got to know the two more , their dreams and fears. Especially Joel.... having a sort of alignment with him. In a weird way you two as a pair sort of clicked. If you still stayed stuck in your mindset before everything , you would have never realized you were in love with Joel. That word always racked your mind. Love... something you hadn’t felt for another person in such a long time. But it was true even if it was hard to explain , you loved that man. With every ounce of life in you. Though, Joel was like a rock. Even after he eased out when choosing to stay in Jackson with you and Ellie , his old habits always snuck up on him. One in particular was the denying of his own feelings. The ones towards you that made him feel like a teenager again. That made him feel whole , those ones he didnt know how to admit them. Which was a pest to your guy's budding relationship. It always floated around the both of you , almost like a warning. You hadn’t known what to describe your relationship. Were you only a companion? Was this something more than just a toughly bonded friendship? You knew about his struggles , at least some of them. Loosing his daughter and all of that.  But couldn't you two finally live to be happy? Shrug away the burdens that had been haunting you? This had all spiraled out in a argument you both had. You were the one who started it , even though you were not proud of it at all. Something had been picking at you the weeks into winter. A harsh storm had swarmed Jackson , almost like the bubbling anxiety that was stirring inside you. The two of you were stern adults , stubborn with your opinions. Some less shared than others. What started as a question exploded into a mostly heated dispute. You tried not to be so loud , the two of you genuinely just tired from the day. You had gotten off of an overnight patrol shift together , but this question could not be avoided for much longer.  Harsh words were met with other harsh words. He got defensive and so did you. Ellie had been off with Dina and Jesse so you knew it was just the two of you alone. “I’m not just that same stranger that came to help you Joel!” You were racked with tears. “I have stuck with you through thick and thin - an this is how you treat me?! Like some liability!”  You were beyond pissed off , and Joel just looked at you in silence. He wanted to say so much but was held back. By his own fears and insecurities. It had only been a year since the firefly incident back in salt lake city. You two sharing an abundance of secrets between one another. He was still scared with being vulnerable with you , and couldn't mutter a word. Not even a sentence to ease your worry. God he felt like such a jackass. He never meant to hurt you this much. He never meant to hurt you at all. “Was this for nothing...?” Your tone filled with anguish. “If your gonna say it like that , I guess so.” He stared at you through gritted teeth. Your heart plummeted to the bottom of your stomach. Ripped out of your chest by the man you had trusted. Trusted with so much and so little. Maybe he was right about everything. You glared , it burned holes into Joel. He felt horrible , he was so worked up his brain was making stuff up on the spot. He had to keep you at an arms length. He didnt want to get you hurt. He had already let you in though , so genuinely there was no way he could rid his heart of you. Not that he even wanted to. The both of you shared a long , pained look. You broke the slowly growing stale silence. “Have it your way , I totally understand. We always said it was to the destination and than nothing else.” Sighing , you walked out of the main area to grab your bag. Your voice trembled , trying not to break out cry’s. You had to keep your cool for now. “I guess I was the only one who didnt keep my word.” That one really stung his heart. He was stunned , stuck in his stance. At this point anything else he would have said most likely wouldnt have helped it all. What was done is done , and he regretted every last second of it. You stuffed a couple things in your pack. “I’ll stay at Tommie's and Marias until then. I know you probably dont wanna see my face.” He nodded weakly , his expression nothing but blank. One more final look from you as you headed out the door. Joel couldn't help but let his sobs' spring free. Shameful tears plummeted down his cheeks. He had no idea what to do , was karma out to get him?  After popping by to see Maria , you told her a majority of everything. She gave pity on you , offering the guest bedroom for you to stay in for a bit. Until yours and Joel’s disagreement died down. Tommy caught wind and reassured you that it was only Joel being Joel. He would come around soon. You tried your hardest to believe him. Patrol time came on once again , Tommy volunteered to head off with you. So going with Joel wouldnt make things more tricky than they already were. You had grown to become a good friend with Tommy along with a lot of the other residents in Jackson. The two of you began to set off around the perimeter , heading the route you had been assigned to. Even with the annoyance of the snow , it was nice that day out. Calm and quiet you made sure to keep your eyes open. Trying to not let your argument before with Joel cloud your thought process. Tommy could see how off you were , and as a friend he was gonna lend a helping hand obviously. “Alright over there? Seem stuck in your own world.” He chuckled , patting his sides as he rode along his horse. You took a breath , flinching your hands at the reins. “No if I am being completely honest , I cant shake the argument at all.” You grew a pained smiled over your face. Tommy took a second before responding. “Look its like I said , this is only Joel being Joel. He’s a protector , but sometimes a idiot when it comes to being out with what he feels. He was like that when we were younger , and now its only worse with what yall have gone through.” He went on , you couldn’t really disagree with what he was saying. He gestured his head over to you once Joel came back to subject again. “Besides , he really does care about you.” That made you paused big time. “Really? What do you mean?” You needed to know more. “Whenever he talks about you , he always compliments you in a way. Either on your smarts or how optimistic you are.”  You sucked your teeth in when he brought that up. You could recognize the ‘awe’ growing inside you , reflecting in the warmness of your face. It had put everything into perspective. Maybe he wasn’t so rough and tough like he always exuded. You could never get through to the truth , always blocked off by him time and time again shutting down. “He’s only stubborn , he’ll realize his wrongs and apologize. If you wanna draw it out so much we can make a bet.” He flashed a sympathetic smile. You chuckled in response , “Thanks Tommy but I would rather not bet on my personal life.” He snickered “Fine , I’ll just do it with Maria.” You couldn’t help but giggle lightly. “Suree suree , you keep saying that.”  Now your mood was a little better from before , less down in the dumps than earlier. Becoming more hopeful, you finished logging everything down that you spotted and started heading back to Jackson with Tommy. Surprisingly you guys hadn't ran into any infected. You two carried conversation for a good while , talking about life in the general sense. Mentally you were trying to think of ways to talk to Joel again. Scenarios went through your head with any possible conversation. Stuck in thought , something jolted you immediately into defense mode. That something was gun shots ringing at you and Tommy.  Right away you both collectively tried to fight it off. But shots kept littering out , one even hitting you in the shoulder. You winced in pain and in a panic looked back at Tommy. “GO NOW!” You shouted , the snow fall getting heaver. “No I cant just leave you here!” He tried to shoot at the random sniper among the trees. “This could mean hunters or bandits , warn Jackson!”  “No! We should both get fuckin going!” He continued to shoot at whatever was hitting you guys. “I have this under control , GO TOMMY!” You tried to plead with him. “I promise once I get this bozo I’ll follow right behind you.” Almost as if you were begging him to run of.                                                     •·.·''·.·• The storm was getting heavier and heavier as the two of you continued trying to communicate. Tommy gave you a conflicted expression but finally did as you said. “You better be on my ass as soon as you finish them off!” He shouted over the blizzard.  He made his way the opposite direction , regretful of his decision. Not being able to look be he kept on going forward , hoping that you would come out unscathed.  But you were gonna be okay. You had to be okay. He rode into the gates of Jackson in a hurry , the large wooden doors opening up. People quickly started to notice that you weren’t actually behind Tommy. Joel especially noticed and couldn’t stop thinking of what possibly could have happened. Everything got worse once they heard a horse , it was your horse. Pained neighs came as it trotted in , on its last leg. The poor baby had a fresh gun wound in its side. Quickly it was helped off to the stables for care. Immediately people got to questioning and Tommy tried his hardest to explain. Every ounce of what went down he told. Recalling the guilt he felt leaving you behind. But when he tried to reason you wouldnt let down at all. Ellie was oh so worried , begging to go out and try to find you. She couldn't lose a parental figure , thinking back to Colorado with Joel. Dina even offered to come along. Maria attempted to calm the overlapping voices but Joel again was quiet. The thumping of his pulse could be heard in his ears. What if you were dead? What if they pumped you full of led? He couldn’t stop imaging the sight. Multiple gun holes in your torso , the light drained from your eyes. Your blood was everywhere , the snow going from a pure white to a dark red. He wasn't gonna let some fuckup do who knows what to you. He was gonna make sure his fists were covered in their blood. He clung onto any possibilities , ones where your insides weren’t strung up. He knew you were a fighter , he just hoped they could find you in time.  Along with Dina , Jesse , Ellie , Joel and Maria some other patrol men tagged along. Tommy wanted to go , feeling that he in some way caused this mess. But Maria told him to stay back , since you weren’t the only one wounded in the scuffle. He sighed in defeat but agreed. Wishing the rest of the others good luck. The search party looked out for you , same route you and Tommy headed on. But there were no signs of you. No backpack , no gun no nothing. Even when they found the specific spot where the sniper was spotted , it was almost like you up and left. Though something was uncovered , and it wasn’t something good. Bloody boot tracks were implanted in the snow , almost forming a trail. They could only follow so much and were led with nothing. Maria looked along the trail , realizing the cut off. Dina spoke up , “Thats weird... it doesnt lead to any direction of Jackson.” Ellie agreed , “Yeah they wouldn’t just up and leave. Thats not like them … this has to be something more?” The possibility of you running away swarmed Joel's thoughts. He never meant for you to think he didnt care for you in any way. You became so constant in his life he couldn’t fathom losing you. Maria sighed , contemplating on what to do. “Lets keep on looking , they could have went to get shelter.” Jesse commented along with the groups decision.  “Yeah , doesnt seem so bad. Maybe we check the lodge? That place is pretty nice shelter from the snow.” Everyone else came to an agreement while Joel stayed quiet. Only letting out a murmur in return. Searching for you lead them into a typical wild goose chase. You weren’t stuck at any of the surrounding areas. It didnt help that the weather proceeded to get more rough. Maria ordered everyone to head back , they can continue this all later. Joel couldn’t stop beating himself up about what was going on. He caused this , he was the one to blame. He scared you off... and now fate was coming to give him a message. He couldn’t be frantic, he had to keep on a brave face at least for Ellie. Slowly you started to gain a sliver of consciousness. As your eyes began to focus around , your surroundings were unfamiliar. This wasn't the woods of Jacksonville , instead you were situated in a old house. Walls were in ruins , paint peeling off of them. Whole room was filled to the brim in dust.  Trying to free your hands , you soon realized you were restrained. Both your wrists and ankles were tied. Your wrists were specifically tied to the railing of the homes stairs. You cursed , trying to get a look at what else surrounded you. Thankfully your gun was with you , but not so thankfully all of its ammo was emptied on the floor. Heavy foot falls followed your look around. You heard a gun rifle get cocked back as you met the face of the gun holder. Immediately you started to panic. Thrashing your brain around on how he could have found you. You thought you had lost him?! There in front of you stood the man Zachary Hale , someone of nightmares. His eyes traced over you , a crooked smile on his face. “Oh friend - how wonderful to see you!” He sounded like a full blown maniac. Which was not super far from the truth. “How ya been? The whole new set up treating you well?” He commented , proceeding to pull up a metal chair. “...How did you fucking find me?” You gritted out , clearly annoyed. Slowly blood from your nose trickled down your features. “Oh sweetheart you forget that you cant just lose me THAT easily?”, he snickered. “Its adorable how you think I’m such a dunce , seriously!” He threw his gun to the side , you watched it clank away.  “Seems like you got your smarts knocked back into you.” He’d let out a wheezy chuckle , playing up the friendly tone a little too hard. But not for long was he gonna keep you like this. “So great Hale , whats your fucking plan? Did you just wanna have tea with me in this shithole?” You cracked , trying to hide your anxiousness with humoring him. Immediately you flinched your face back as his screwed up hand cupped your cheek. You could feel the dirt and grime laced into his palm. It also wasn’t hard to notice the nasty hole in the middle of his free hand. “Oh honey... my little angel , you know that Ive missed you.” He said with a sickly smile. “But you haven’t given me any introductions to your new friends.” Right away you realized what he wanted , you could feel your insides twist into knots. “Sooo... I am going to beat the life out of you until you tell me all of their names.” He was definitely amused seeing into in this state of pain , your gun wound from earlier still oozing with blood. Same went for your nose , as the butt of his gun met right with your face earlier. “I’m not gonna tell you anything , you jackass!” You barked , the tight rope of your wrists thrashing at your skin. “Now see , that's where your wrong.” His finger graced the lining of your jaw. You wanted to bite his finger off , shoot him dead and run off. But the thing was you had no idea where you were. You wouldn’t be surprised if he planned this all out meticulously. With how creepy he is , he wasn't the most stupid when it came to getting his way.  “How so asshole , you know I wont ever answer to you.” His lips curved up in enjoyment. “Well your gonna have to or else I’ll let you bleed out in the snow.” You kept your cool , not wanting him to get inside your head. “Even you know I keep my promises!” He leaned back gleefully , retracting his arms and crossing them. “If you dont , then I’m just gonna have to do it myself. So I suggest you cooperate , I want to ruin you like you did to me.” He chuckled with teeth on full display. It was almost like you were starring right back at death itself. “ I wont stop until I get all.my.satisfaction from this.” He made sure to make his point clear. Again , his hand met your face.   “I didn’t do anything! Your the monster here!” You squirmed around , hoping that luck would be by your side. “You wanna go into things you did , cause OH I can name a list.” Suddenly you stiffened up as soon as he said that. You had an idea of what he was gonna utter. His lips situated into the twisted like grin from before. “Shouldn’t you remember killing her in cold blood....?” He whispered into your ear , rage skyrocketing through you. “DONT YOU DARE MENTION HER!” You barked at him , getting a kick in. He stumbled but didnt change in demeanor at all. “Well if your gonna be a such a pain, I will. Maybe lets jog your memory since we’re gonna be cooped up for a while.” He went into a long explanation , dragging out details and making sure you were put to blame. He wanted to rip into you emotionally and it was working. When the outbreak started , you immediately wanted to get away from civilization. Luckily you were able to make it out of your town before military blocked off any roads. You could remember barreling home after finding out what was going on. Your first priority was your daughter. Barreling through your homes front door , your eyes panickily darted around. “Baby!? Baby where are you?! You called through the house. Right away your daughter let herself be known. She had hid inside her closet once she caught commotion outside. Originally you just wanted to get some errands done , but now you had a mission.  Her eyes were teary as she met you with a hug. You calmed her down , needing to make sure you two got out with every ounce of you both intact. You ran out of your house with her , reminding her to leave anything else behind. She listened and you hightailed you guys out of there. Even if you couldn’t get out of your area right away , you needed somewhere to lay low.

Which is when you remembered your parents farm. It was deep in a woods area and was basically off the grid. You knew for a while your father had been always paranoid about something like this happening , so there had to be supplies. Passing through dirt roads and unpaved patches of land you finally arrived.  It was the same as you could recall. Barbed wiring and large metal fences surrounded the area. Your father was a very guarded person. Always prepping for what sort of worst disaster. Guess this time he was right about it. Taking your daughter by the hand you rushed inside the fencing , blocking you off from the outside. By the time you got really inside the home , place was entirely empty. You always thought your parents would be here. Never hesitating to hide away when a storm came brewing. But no... no one was inside. A letter was placed on the fridge door , the hand writing looked frantic. It was your mother , her signature and all placed at the bottom left. "𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵. 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺, 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨.  𝘞𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘻𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺. 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦. 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶."  - 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 , 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 Thoughts overtook you completely. Why a quarantine zone? I mean this house is stocked up with all essentials. What if they were infected already? What if they were shot and killed? From day one of your existence you had always been prepared for this scenario , so it surprised you they were denying their own protections.

You had to keep on pushing through , for you daughter. You couldn’t get all emotional now. That would have to be saved for the inside of whatever mattress. What ripped you away from your stream of assumptions was your little girl speaking up. “Are we- are we sick?” She mumbled , still teary eyed.

You moved over to her and crouched down since she was sitting on the couch. “Sweetie no , you didn’t let anyone inside right?” You comfortably tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She’d quickly nod her head , she was paranoid out of her mind. A kid her age shouldn’t have to panic so much like this , so you tried to quell her fears.

“Look we’re gonna be safe , okay? Take this like a fun trip! We need to keep some rules in check though so me and you can be safe.” You explained , she clung to you with a fearful nod. Guilt was pouring through you but you couldn’t change the situation you two were in. So the best option was to find a solution , couldn’t be so hard...?

                                                     •·.·''·.·•

What continued was years of hiding. Through your scavenging you found ways to fortify the house so no one got out or in. You were able to somewhat supply your daughter with a stable childhood. With the occurrence of infected always prowling around , they were easily fought off with traps surrounding every corner of the farm. Even though you were guarded to the max , slip ups could potentially happen.

It was the middle of the night. Both you and your daughter were sleeping peacefully, her a couple rooms down from yours. A sawed off shotgun just within your reach. Oddly , you were taken out of your slumber by a loud banging coming from your front door. Which genuinely woke you up , your hand immediately went to your weapon.

You haven't been graced with the presence of any other living humans in years; the infected didnt have any manners of knocking. It led you befuddled , making your exit out of your room to check what was happening. Your daughter had rose from her room and found you. In which you quickly shushed her as you made your way to the cameras.

Clicking through them , you found the source of the loud banging. A...family of three were sat at your front door step. It was a mother , father , and a little girl - she was maybe around the age of six. The man was the one who had been hammering at the front of the house , loudly announcing his presence. By what you could make out from the mother and girl , the mother was carefully holding up the young child. You couldn't observe much anything else , except the annoying persistent stranger.

The presence of your daughter stood behind you , she immediately wanted to know what was had to be done. Firmly , you told her to stay put in her room as you would go deal with this. She replied with an “okay.. be careful mom.” Before making her way back up the stairs. Pinching your nose , you cocked your gun and headed to your homes entrance. Immediately as sign of life was heard from inside , the raucous finally quelled. You unlocked the door and it swung in your way , meeting the father with the muzzle of your shotgun at his chest. Instantly he staggered back , so did the mother with her child. Clearly you were pissed off , and you were not gonna be so kind to strangers. “Who are you and what the fuck are you doing at my home?” You grunted out , adjusting you firearm to make sure it was up and shown. The mom and dad made panicked glancing looks before the father finally spoke up. “Look , we were part of a QZ before this. It got tarnished by a resistance group. We’re just trying to find shelter , and our daughter was injured in a scuffle.” The guy explained basically their whole entire story. You listened intently , trying to come up with what to do. “Please , we mean you no harm. Only thing I’m asking for is if you could maybe lend us some medical supplies,” Something else popped up in his head. “Or you could check out her leg wound , but that's all we need.” As the man rambled , your eye peeked over at the two behind him. The mothers eyes looked mortified , clearly this wasn't some ploy. You heart crumbled into tiny pieces as you saw the younger one. She was shaking , her small hands gripping onto her mother. You could recall the start of the outbreak , your mortified daughters expression as the new predicament shaped her childhood.

You sighed and moved your gun away from view. The mans more panicked attitude switched to somewhat awkward. You spoke up , looking at the three before you got to talking. “...Seeing as if your not some sort of trick , I will let you inside. On one condition - you only stay here for the night.” The father right away shook his head in agreement. Before he could say anything more , you cut him off. “We have rooms you can stay in , but you dont touch anything else. Do you hear me clear.” It was almost like a command. Again , the man shook his head into agreement. “Yes yes , thank you so much...!” You nodded in return and let them inside. The rest of the night was a majority of you showing them around. Examining the kids injury , it at first looked like just a couple scrapings. Which you in the end helped with some rubbing alcohol and a cloth. Your daughter came down , ease dropping for most of the confrontation. The parents collectively were thankful for your helpfulness , you only really replying with a gritting “No problem at all.” The threes stay expanded from one day to more. To be completely honest you weren’t mad about it. More people around wasn’t so terrible , and your daughter was getting nicely along with their youngest. But from your earlier predictions , you may have been wrong about it being some couple scratches. Oh would you be so regretful of what you did. Though the belittlement of your past actions was stopped; as you felt your face exit the piercingly cold lake water. You regained your breath , your shivering only getting worse by then. Hale had the ends of your hair balled into a fist , he had a rough grip on it. “What - you gonna budge now?” His hold only got tighter as you squirmed. Through gasps and blood coughing out of your mouth , “Fuck no you dipshit!”  As the cold red liquid trailed down your lip from seemingly days of torture , he threw you to the side. You tumbled not too far , but felt stuck in your moment. Your odds of getting out of this were slim. You couldn't just think your way out of this like the many times before. He’d let out a coarse chuckle , making his way over to you. “God how I always loved your stubbornness.”  Your rigid body was dragged back inside of the run down home , you were met with the cold wooden floor. He looked at you , something was ticking away. “Times running out but I’m a patient man. So I am gonna let you rest until tomorrows fun activities.” He gave you a solemn look before again , leaving your sights. Left to way there - you deep dived back into your past. Going through the mistakes you made to get here. The day your world view plummeted was a week after you’d let the young family stay with you. It was early morning at the farm , sun cupping up into the sky. Even though the sights outside looked so pretty , the inside of your home was not the same.  What awoke you was the startled shrieks of your daughter. Garbled commotion was all you could hear , and right away you were on your feet. When you made your way downstairs you couldn’t be anymore shocked. The young girl was infected , trying to devour her parents. She was eating into her mothers neck , while the father was already out for the count. Right away your gun went off , but it missed the now infected kid. Your daughter was yelling for you , yelling to get her. Before you could make the perfect shot , the now turned child already got a swipe at your daughter. Fucking finally you were able to land a head shot right through the head of the monster. Briskly , two more shots rang out. You were frozen in your path , weapon dropping in your hand. Before your brain could clock what was going on , your daughter spoke. Her voice was chocked with tears as she held her arm. “Mama... I’m gonna become a monster.” That grabbed your attention as you saw what your idiotic decisions gave you.  Your daughter was bit on her forearm , she couldn't stop crying. “Mama please dont let me become one of them!” She begged you , her frame wrapping around your torso. Cautiously you wrapped your arms around her , this would be your final hug. Your head looked back to your dropped gun , her daughters loud sobbs were muffled into you. You looked down at your baby girl and adjusted your view to look at her.  “Honey lets head outside , I wanna show you something.” The two of you shared a look. Through a begrudging smile you ushered her outside. You took her to a nearby field , entirely empty with no civilization for miles. “Why dont you turn around for me and pick some of the flowers?” You mumbled as you gestured to the small patch of daisies.  One last final look , she looked like she knew what was gonna happen. As she crouched down , she began to grab at the patch of flowers. “I love you baby... I hope you know that.” She turned back , again staring you right down. “I love you too mama.” She replied with a quivering smile. She began to hum as she went back to doing what you asked. Your eyes poured out so much tears , you reloaded your gun with ammo. “Remember our song baby? I want you to sing it as loud as you can.” You felt as if your knees were about to go weak.  She listened and began with more volume , sing that same tune. As the words of “Make your own kind of music” came from her mouth , you counted down mentally. Backwards from three , the noise around you went quiet. Only being able to see what you did. Your daughter fell into the flowers , a gun shot to the back of her head.  You finally fell to the grass , erupting into painful sobbing. You crawled over and cradled her in your arms. Repeating's of “I’m sorry” came from your lips as you rocked back and fourth. You never expected to be so alone , but now you were. You lost the only thing that kept you going in this cold world. You wanted to die with her that day but you couldn’t. A crack from a branch came from out of nowhere. You realized where you were , laying on a large tree. Your eyes opened , meeting the face of Joel Miller. Petrified seeing the state you were in. Bleeding out and gravely injured , you could only meet him with a breath of life and curve of your lips.

                                  **END (part 2 coming soon)**

[meatsex]

You ever think about if you really like red vox, or only like it because famous funny streamer man guy is making it, and if the lyrics are even made well? This isn’t directed at you specifically, this is just a thought I’ve had.

yeah, ive thought abt this kind of stuff, i dont think its unusual for ppl to think that when they listen to music made by a youtube funnyman (since theres many such cases)

i cannot say if they are a good band in a technical sense or not cuz im no musician, but i think i have enough proof to tell i like red vox because of what they make and not because vinny twitchman is the lead singer

ive tried listening to music by other youtubers before but almost all the time it falls flat unless its like a one time thing usually, but i (personally) feel like red vox has both incredibly rich music AND lyrics

there is a couple of songs i listen to i think "i feel like x word or y thing could have been connected a bit better here" but it feels solid and, what matters to me, actually impactful, a lot of these songs feel and sound so emotionally charged i kinda worry some times, and listening to them in a bad day might break me, i joked abt this before but i call another light "my second the downward spiral" just because of how heavy it can feel at times (especially the first and last songs)

it also helps that a lot of what music vinny likes and probably inspires him usually aligns with what i like too (talking heads, radiohead, nin, even elo which i didnt know he liked until a recent stream)

also i should mention this here which i funnily enough mentioned to a friend some days ago, but the reason i began to make so much vinny art in the first place its *because* i began listening to red vox, ive been a vs fan for years now, but when i draw him a lot of times i mostly think of him as "singer of red vox" than "twitch streamer vinesauce" (which doesnt mean i dont like making fanart of him as a streamer) + other more personal connections im too lazy to write about, which explains why im always making him look kinda melancholic or just more akin to the emotions his music evokes

sorry this ended up being so long but i cannot be asked about my interests and reply in a normal way

ultimately if you like something you just like it and theres nothing wrong with that even if its funny youtuber music, i think id rather support and get supported for the thing im making than for a brand name but thats on every different person to choose

[empresskadia]

So here are my in-the-moment thoughts about the experimental Spartan-IVs with Raya and Lana making a brief appearance.

I am 100% here if y'all have opinions or ideas too, I would love to hear them. This is just my take on it.

We hardly know anything about the experimental phase of the Spartan-IV project, what's canon is that it lasted 2 years and there was a brief moment with Ilsa Zane but that's it.

However, I've been thinking about it and they would've needed a test group of volunteers. I personally think there were two, the group in 2548, which was Raya's group. and then 2549, which was Lana's. While Musa and Jun were in charge of the official Spartan-IV recruitment, the experimental IVs were mainly picked by a board of ONI scientists, Musa and Parangosky. They needed to be very selective with this group, files upon files were shuffled through.

It's also noteworthy that not a single one of the experimental IVs got all their augmentations at once, ONI needed to watch to see how each person reacted to each procedure, so it couldn't have been done immediately, especially after the IIsa Zane incident. All these files are currently redacted.

The first group was the trial group, they needed UNSC personnel who had an outstanding mission record, more so looking towards the ODSTs and seeing who has served the longest and who they could "fix" with augmentations. Example A, Raya was part of the eight other candidates that were offered the original Spartan II augmentation for their eyes. Three of them ended up permanently blind while five were successes. In the end, there were a handful of deaths and complications with this group, but was an overall success to continue to the next phase.

The second group was ONI personnel, teams that could drop in and out of missions and knew how to keep their mouths shut. These were the ones Parangosky mainly picked, the ones she trusted to get missions done, ODSTs that had worked under her for years, and most importantly, ones that didn't have a group of teammates, lonewolfs if you would. Alot of them were Section 3 such as Lana, the ones that knew how to disappear and not say a word. These ones went smoother than the first group but ONI still tried to use Spartan II and III augmentations, or rather, a more subdued version that eventually became the building blocks for the Spartan-IV argumentations.

The three years before the actual Spartan-IV program started was an observation period. These Spartans were sent on hand-picked missions and would go through tests and scans as soon as they got back, from their diets, to how their bodies were growing with the augmentation and this is where ONI picked and chose what to make the official augmentation list.

I guess in a way, you can say they are genetic freaks. Hardly any two of the experimental Spartan-IV have the same exact augmentations. However, this led to the experiment IVs being really proud of themselves and their teammates, not in an 'I'm better than you way' but we've survived while not everyone did. Every couple of years these IVs get called in for testing to make sure nothing abnormal has happened, as of today many of them are still active and I want to say the end number was around 75 or 76 of these Spartans.

[strawglicks]

Sorry for the ramble in your inbox incoming- I'm a really huge fan of your analysis type posts like the ones about Cathal and recently Flint ;A; So I hope its ok to maybe throw in my own 2 cents about Cogs/their society- (Sorry this gets rambly I thought about this last night and writing this like an hour after waking up lol)

I think what alot of people kind of (I wouldnt say ignore- more of:) don't really get is that I dont believe characters like Cathal or Flint have bad tendencies because they really want to in a way, (I kind of worded that poorly but point is) but because their society rewards and encourages that type of behavior. I think you said something kind of similar on Cathals post- But especially for Flint, whose a Bossbot (Who are literally the embodiment of a toxic workplace and elitism. I believe a old snippet from the TTO magazines says "They have no real skills of their own, just the ability to push down others and stay on top!" Or something to that nature.) he has to be demanding and imposing. There is no benefit to him in being kind. (Like looking at Misty for example) And don't get me wrong I don't believe that if Flint and Cathal were removed from Cog society they'd be better/objectively nicer (Like Flint not being condescending to Toons and Cathal not making people do things for him and being encouraged to try) But I do wonder how much of it is pressure, or how much of it is egged on and rewarded. Atleast in the aspects it relates to how they treat others.

(..And also I wonder what happens to Cogs that don't get jobs and are seen as ..not functioning. Since Graham was freaking the hell out in "Meeting Of Two Minds" over the possibility of not getting the job. I have a whole thing about this actually in my oc lore but thats another thing entirely I'll write about someday I swear)

Also I gasped when I saw the doodle of Graham in the MSI shirt finally a MSI listener Graham truther. I think he'd like the album "How I Learned To" and of course "You'll Rebel To Anything". I associate him mainly with the songs "Lights Out", "On It", and "You're No Fun Anymore" :p (This has been my favorite band since I was like 13 and now I get to spill all my opinions xD) I always imagined him doing the guitar backbend their bassist does! And my final hc is that Flint plays bass and Graham plays the main guitar. I think it fits them .. some people overlook bass when its actually pretty hard to learn from what I hear and vital to the song. (Like heres Feel Good Inc w/o the bass.. feels wrong x_x)

Anyways thanks for reading ;A; take care and happy new year!

RAHHHH EATING THIS UP YUM YUM YUM YES YES YOU GET IT

THe biggest issue with Cogs Inc is that it REWARDS and ENCOURAGES these poor behaviors, worsening these characters as people. ESPECIALLY cathal considering the position of power they’re in. I’m sure it applies to a ton of other cogs too, but unfortunately I haven’t gotten to them yet bc I’m not as insane abt them . LMAO

And yeah since cogs are literally built for work, it’s a wonder what happens to those who can’t find a job as easily as others. Hoping that gets built on since it’s clear in MOTM that these cogs have to actually apply and go to interviews and probably face some trial and error to land a job, just like people IRL.

ALSO. THE BAND HCS. I love it and you’re SOOOO RIGHT about the backbend that is so grahamcore. And yes I’m pretty sure Flint does play bass, I think his creator mailman said smth abt that on their blog . AND IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP FEEL GOOD INC bc i did draw flint in a demon days shirt in that same animatic . And ive def drawn them in the same shirt a couple times in the past too . I’ve always imagined him to be a Gorillaz fan, maybe graham too

Anyway ty for these thoughts im eating them up and leaving no crumbs . I love when ppl come to ramble in my inbox bc discussing this stuff IS SO FUN and a good outlet for me esp when i might be having art burnout rn .

[kakiastro]

The Astrology of Blake Lively

As requested, I’ll be breaking down the gorgeous Blake Lively! I’ll break down her hubby Ryan and their composite chart in future post so keep A look out for those, I’ll post them in my pinned post list as well. Ok let’s get started!

I’m using whole sign for chart breakdown

Leo rising with Sun chart ruler which is in Virgo 2h. She’s hard worker, she’s private and would rather the public and media focus on her projects than her even though the media loves her!

Now this is a Virgo woman! She damn has all her planets in Virgo! I’ve never seen anything like this omg! Where do. I even begin 😅

Virgo moon- she’s more logical than emotional, with mercury close to her moon. She’s a great problem solver as well

Sun conj Mars 2h-very attractive in spotlight and she does well in fashion industry, I remember the media went crazy with her dress at the met gala this year haha. She has a very strong presence about her with mars conjunction.

Sun conj Mercury 2h- talk about business smart, 2h rules over investments and financial gain. She’s a a successful business woman, does she have a fashion line? If not, she would do well in it.

Sun conj Venus- ive said this before but people with this aspect are seen as beautiful in public.

Asteroid Aura in Libra 3 conj South Node- she definitely has old school glamour about her, venus ruled 3h(media&public loves her), south node represents pass lives so she had this energy in her last life as well.

Speaking of past life..

She has Asteroid Akashic Pisces conj Nortn Node 8h. Akashic can give us a glimpse of who we were in a pass life, since it’s conj her. NN(destiny&fate) which tells me she’s finishing up something that she didn’t complete last life👀 it’s in Pisces, which gives me high priestess/healer energy, you know what, doesn’t she have a program that helps children be free from sex trafficking?? I remember reading something about that a couple of years ago?! This definitely fits this aspect.

Asteroid Industria 3h- “industry” is at 29° Libra, libra rules over partnerships and marriage, also entertainment industry. 29°, she’s finishing up some things, maybe this will be the last lifetime she’ll be famous or in the spotlight especially since it’s so close to her 4h Scorpio of family.

Fame has been hard for her

Asteroid Varuna conj Chiron 11h- Varuna shows worldwide fame and since his close to her Chiron (wounded healer) in the society house, it was hard for her, I do think it’s gotten better due to Ryan being by her side because she has asteroid Juno(marriage partner) in Aquarius (society sign)

Pluto Scorpio 4h- she’s very private about her personal life, she’s breaking generational traumas and building something lasting for her children with 4h traditional ruler(mars) in Virgo 2h.

Her children will continue her legacy after she’s gone

Sagittarius 5h- 5h ruler(Jupiter) in 9h at 29°(karmic degree) it’s also stated the 29° represents longterm fame. One or if not all her children follow in her footsteps someway. In Aries, their going to be leaders, be the first of something while still honoring their mom. Saturn is here as well which represents longevity and karma(good and bad) conj Uranus oh her kids are def going to be leaders and be apart of important causes.

Juno asteroid Aquarius 7h- her Juno is at 29°, she has a lot of critical degrees here wow. Juno ruler in Sagittarius 5h and Ryan has a Venus Sagittarius omg!! With Saturn here, this is a long term relationship,. Whenever you look at you juno, always check house ruler first then sign. Like if you have Juno Taurus, look at your Venus sign and house first.

Asteroid Lilith Cancer 12h-ughh she probably has creepy men who fantasize about wanting to start a family with her and having kids. However, this is her superpower she probably has strong protective energy towards those who are unfortunate, Lilith energy can be great if used correctly.

Wow! I think this is my longest post so far😅 and I probably could’ve kept going😭

I Hope you all enjoyed this post and please make sure to check the others