rollsroyceabudhabi

[omgkalyppso]

@sevarix-blogs tagged me for sharing some of a WIP ... and I'd said I'd share for someone else leaving an open tag for the Last Line of a WIP a few days ago and forgot. My WIPs are all a mess. Some are just dialogue, some are cut up scenes that still need to be reorganized. Still, I'll share from three WIPs here for fun.

I'll tag @boghermit, @bosspigeon, @lemonbronze, @bladesandstars and YOU.

Still working on the Astarion ate a bear conversation WIP:

Astarion had been hunting for some time, and he returned with the most graceless approach, tripping over a cauldron at Lae’zel’s tent with his arms stretched wide as if he’d been meaning to keep track of his steps. “Stay out of my things, darkling!” Lae’zel shouted, interrupting her conversation where Astarion might have otherwise been ignored. “With pleasure, gith,” Astarion said, laying one hand on his unbeating heart and stretching the other out overhead. “Alright, Astarion?” asked Shadowheart, eyebrows raised. “All the better,” Astarion’s words danced with the cadence of an elf who was far further into his cups than either Étoile or Shadowheart, “that you’re concerned for me, my sweet.” Shadowheart made a noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan as she objected. “Don’t misunderstand. I’m only worried that you’d return from your hunt with some contagion. These caves are riddled with stagnation and rot.” “Just like home,” Astarion exaggerated, arms spread wide again, hands flicked skyward. He quickly followed it up with a laugh that had the teensiest hiccough in it, lending to his inebriated air.

I started working on a WIP of Wyll writing poetry with Gale's encouragement for the prompt Modern AU for wyllweek but I psyched myself out so it is also still a WIP. Background Gale x my dragonborn Upton:

Wyll: [stating the obvious as Gale has a pen and notepad] Working on something? Gale: Mm. Well, just another gift for the dragon of my heart, as it were. There's few enough rhymes for bronze that I definitely need to pick up a pen when inspiration strikes. Wyll: How do you decide which gifts are worth giving? Gale: Now there's a telling anxiety if I ever heard one. If there's a possibility your audience is going to be disrespectful of the efforts you make, and your heart on your sleeve, Wyll Ravengard, then they don't deserve you. That said, poetry is as much about the audience and the medium as it is about the quality. I know that whatever I scribble down … Upton appreciates that I was thinking of them. The rest is imagined, I suppose I could talk to them about it — how I consider each syllable, and each revolving turn of phrase, with the hope that I can bring them new joy, that the maze around my heart, no more navigable by my manner of elocution, might be more manageable to them. They are celebrations of our bond, their love, their beauty, but they are also pleas of affection, calls to understanding, expressions of vulnerability. And those are harder to share when you put more of yourself in your writing, or when you can't trust those emotions to be well received — even when they are, the way people can misread intent or metaphor, or latch onto some throwaway sentiment you thought to include — it's hard, to write and to share, not even considering the technicalities and imagination of the hobby. Do you keep a journal? Wyll: No. I read and I can recite some poetry, but … I didn't— I didn't keep a journal while I was backpacking, though maybe I should have. I— I'm not thinking of writing for love, or to share with anyone. Maybe someday, but … The world has such vibrancy in it. I'm not a bard, but I'd think I prefer it through a poet's lens sometimes. Gale: As one should. There's a dreamer in all of us, and poetry has connected people to history, to culture, to themselves and to each other — since time immemorial. You needn't worry about sharing it with anyone, but those connections are always open to you. And it may be a tad hypocritical, having never shared my own work, but I'd love to read your poetry, if you're in need of an audience. Wyll: No, no, no. You don't get out of showing me yours by asking for mine. Not when you have the advantage of experience— Gale: Oooo. That may be the politest way I've been called old, but it still stings [holding his heart] right here. Upton: [sitting on the arm of Gale's chair] Wyll called you old? Gale: [standing so Upton can take up most of the chair's real estate] He said I had the benefit— Wyll: Advantage. Gale: [sitting in Upton's lap] The advantage of experience. Wyll: [in his own defense] In regards to poetry. Upton: [delighted, leaning around Gale so he almost falls over] Are you going to write inexperienced poetry, Wyll?

And I'll share a very little bit of my The Pale Elf vs Cazador fight rewrite WIP:

Astarion: You don't love anything. Cazador: Do you not know the meaning of the word sacrifice? One eats an apple and thinks nothing of it, a fruit made to be consumed. But what of eating a friend, a lover, a son. You were made to be sacrificed, but my love was no less true for my role in your extermination. Astarion: Fuck you. And fuck everything you ever did to me. Cazador: You are my spawn, you are my family, and you came home like a good little apple when it was time for harvest.

While it might just be bad and cheesy I like the idea of Cazador likening Astarion to being worth more to him than nothing only to immediately refute that in the next sentence from his mouth. He should have been a man of twisted love and contradictions imo, not blindly evil.

[happymetalgirl]

Sleep Token - Take Me Back to Eden

Sleep Token seems to be the first thing that's really got the metal world talking this year; it's certainly noteworthy that it's the first thing that's got me talking here during this busy year. I didn't do a year-end list last year or even shout-out my favorite albums (which I still should), but after all the lead-up to this album and all the spicy discussion and hype surrounding the band and after finally hearing it in full, I felt motivated to dust off the blog and say in way more words what I'm sure someone else has already said somewhere.

There are a lot of opinions on this album and this band, and they are very much a love ‘em or hate ‘em kind of band, especially with this new album. There’s a very obvious comparison that's been drawn with regard to the hype (some of which I would agree with the haters does seem pretty artificial) around Sleep Token being the next big thing in metal and the more traditionally-minded metalheads being very resistant to them. And that comparison is Ghost. There are definitely parallels there: the anonymity, the lore, Loudwire creaming themselves over them. The comparison to Ghost makes sense on those grounds, and despite the loud minority of haters, after 5 albums and a decade of continuous meteoric rise in sales and increasing venue sizes, Ghost has undeniably won. They did become the next big thing. So, is Sleep Token destined to the same auspicious fate? Are they the next big thing?

The problem with the comparisons to Ghost is that Ghost kicks ass.

I won't bury the lead any longer, this album is way overhyped. I've said it plenty, but I'll say here again just to re-emphasize, I'm no puritan; I like metal adventurous, bold, experimental, unafraid to eat of supposed forbidden fruits like hip hop or pop music, which is clearly the ethos Sleep Token are going for. And on paper, a bold fusion of progressive metal, modern R&B, and swaggering pop music is definitely intriguing, and I'd love to hear what that sounds like someday, because that's not what we got from Sleep Token on this album.

What Sleep Token presents themselves as being what they actually do on record are two rather different things. Sleep Token's primary selling point as the next phenomenon apart from the pseudo-mystical lore and anonymity is the uniqueness of their sound. They do get credit for the uniqueness of the list of ingredients, but a unique sound they do not. And that's because they have several individual sounds that they bounce back-and-forth among, and none of them are at all unique. The handful of modern post/prog-metal sections don’t vary much from each other and aren’t really stylistically unique on their own or even that exhilarating. Most of the time we get either middling rock instrumentation, which is effectively background noise and nothing more than filler stopgap material, or tacky synth pop or trap beats. Neither are made any more evocative by the superficial addition of the synthetic orchestral elements that get peppered into the track list.

There are a lot of various gripes about the album from the haters, and some of it I don’t mind. I don’t mind the R&B-styled vocals, overdone as they can be in some places. I don’t mind (most of) the lyrics, obtuse as they can be. I don’t even mind the clean, polished production too much, but it is compressed to all hell and it doesn’t help with the nonsensical dynamics of a lot of these songs, which leads me to my biggest problem with this album. The compositional direction across the board, from the straightforward post-metal slow-builders to the tacky pop tunes, is aimless and clumsy.

It is so obvious even on the first cursory listen that Sleep Token did not really put much into constructing this album beyond the broad ideas, cutting corners on pesky tasks like song-writing thinking the supposed novelty of the sound would carry the project on its own. Yet for all its commitment to modern R&B, there’s hardly any of the actual cool or sensual appeal there that the band is kinda hinting at. For all the artificial bombast, this album washes over as mindlessly as your average atmospheric-djent/alt-metal project. And for its “bold” implementation of modern pop elements and stylings, of which there is quite a lot, there’s almost none of the basic compositional pop sensibility or even the reluctant memorability of pop music, which leads me to what my other big problem with Take Me Back to Eden, the way they approach pop music.

I’ve been critical in the recent past of the forays into modern pop by the likes of Bring Me the Horizon, Architects, and Bad Omens, not on principle, but just because they tried too hard to fit into the radio-friendly mould that so often led them to awkwardly imitating the likes of Imagine Dragons, Bon Iver, or god-forbid Maroon 5 to make sure their pop-crossover intentions flew over like a lead balloon. And it led to dull song-writing to accommodate the signaling of the intent for a broader appeal. But for all my criticisms of those bands, at least they still tried to bring over some of their performing vigor to their style. Sleep Token, however, overplay their hand on a superficial, overdone swagger that has nowhere near the stamina needed for the 64-minute album they present, and the result is over an hour of awkward toggling between imitative pop-R&B on autopilot and generic alt-flavored post-metal on autopilot.

It’s been said by others and it’s gonna make me sound like such an “elitist” when I say it too, but it’s true, this thing arguably hardly a metal album. Sometimes you’re waiting through several minutes of flubby R&B crooning and trap high-hats until halfway through for distorted guitars to kick in on songs like “Ascensionism” or “Granite”, which sounds like if Five Finger Death Punch were to try their hand awkwardly at an swaggering R&B ballad for the first 2/3rds. And sometimes when the guitars finally do show up after the generic synthetic pop beats, they’re a dull, faint drone under all the other instruments like on “Rain”, the drawn-out title track, and possibly the worst offender: “Are You Really Okay?”. The closing track, “Euclid”, probably integrates the band’s advertised styles the most fluidly, which is to say, not very; the band toss in some choppy bursts of distortion awkwardly into the rest of the otherwise sappy piano-pop ballad.

Sometimes it’s just straight up pop music. And I don’t mean the simple sugary fun kind of pop music. I mean the mind-numbing, practically AI-generated kind of pop music: the kind that inattentive listeners think is fine, the kind that makes people who actually listen to pop music want to pull their hair out (and consequently also repels most metalheads like skunk spray). I criticized BMTH for this on amo (“Medicine” and “Mother Tongue” gave me flashbacks to being trapped listening to top 40 radio at work). And Sleep Token aren’t any more convincing on their more holistic attempts at pop music. I’m amazed that so many metalheads have seemingly unquestionably eaten up what they otherwise would probably spit right out if fed to them not by a nominally metal band.

For example, “Aqua Regia”: it sounds like Imagine Dragons, and when I say Imagine Dragons, I don’t mean when they’re belting out ridiculously like on “Natural” or on “Believer”; I mean when they’re on their waiting in line in the grocery store kinda shit like on “Thunder”. And then there’s the directionless minimalist electro-pop of “DYWTYLM” that completely wastes 4 minutes on something I could only imagine Adam Levine forcing his audience to sit through. It’s the mindless pop melodrama on songs like this and the more spacey sections of other tracks that make the whole vessel-for-some-deity-named-“Sleep” lore thing seem really goofy. Like come on, this deity is communicating through you via vague pop love songs? I guess that tracks given the kinds of scriptures that the major Abrahamic religions running the world enjoy endlessly re-interpreting in their political favor.

I’ll take a break from the negativity and give the band some points where they earned them. For as overly theatrical as they can be, Vessel is a good vocalist and I hope that none of the critique regarding the vocals leads to any kind of shy retreat into a shell of comfort and decreased expressiveness just to play it safe in the future; I definitely prefer the more over-the-top deliveries on the album to the dry, monotonous mumbling sections. The rest of the band prove their instrumental chops too on the few chances they get to make it count within the heavily washed-out tracklist. Cliché as they are, I love a good down-tuned djent breakdowns, and this album’s breakdowns are okay, albeit pretty damn generic and often truncated. But often they’re just kinda tossed onto the tail end of a song they make little sense in the context of and not enough to get me more into those songs.

As far as highlights in the tracklist, there is a scant handful of moments more so than complete songs that show some clear (or wasted) potential. “Chokehold” opens the album pretty well with some tasty industrial grooves that unfortunately doesn’t get built upon as much as it should have, and “Vore” is a pretty decent post-metal-centric cut with some fast drumming and screams to defibrillate you from the past 2 tracks’ induced coma. And apart from the Ivan Moody-esque ballad-y vocal melody on the chorus, it’s a pretty soaring piece of modern alternative metal. In spite of its slightly excessive length, “Ascensionism” is also one of the more really dynamic and heartfelt alt-metal cuts on the album, and the bursts of metallic instrumentation are actually efficacious and feel intentional on this song.

Though it’s unfortunately the only one on the album, “The Summoning” is a genuinely well-rounded, fleshed-out, solid, and ethereal progressive metal song from beginning to end, including the bass-y groove rock outro. Granted, it does kinda just sound like a TesseracT song, but it’s the one song that both encapsulates prog-metal and seems like there was actual work put into the finer details rather than just a vague idea of the broader composition.

Even on this track though, there’s not really as much of an actual meshing of styles as there is the stacking of styles next to each other, which doesn’t make me optimistic for Sleep Token’s future since they’ve clearly decided their path forward is going to be leaning into being the pop-alt-R&B-prog-metal band phenomenon, when a more standard prog-metal route has produced (and seems like it still would produce) the better results for them. Hell, they’re plenty eccentric enough to carve out a pretty enviable niche in the prog metal landscape and stand a head or two taller than the rest of the crop too. Unfortunately carving out that niche might be a tedious process with no guarantee of success, and with all the attention they’re receiving for what they’re doing now, I doubt they’ll change course.

For all its novelty, Take Me Back to Eden did not hit for me, and that's because its eccentricities are superficial, its composition is heavily style-over-substance, and its "genre-blending" is clumsy and unappetizing. I do think the novelty will wear off before this time next year for all the people hailing this album as a masterpiece, and I hope I'm right about that not just because I like being right or because I want to stick it to over-enthusiastic fans in some snooty/critic kind of way. I just don't want the next big thing in metal to be something that sounds so lazily calculated to pander superficially to the lowest common denominator. I do still have some faith in the sort of meritocracy that is the ears of the people, and the penchant for discovery the metal community still has; the most influential and iconic advancements of the genre continue to emerge out of nowhere rather than being heralded in on a silver platter by a media parade. Think the djent revolution that Meshuggah spurred, or the blackgaze revolution that Deafheaven kicked into full gear, or the surprise revival of deathcore that launched Lorna Shore from C-listers to the top of the game.

When it comes to the publicity that any band gets, especially from the big publications that effectively serve as advertising wings of major labels (hence major publications pretty much never giving major releases less than a 7/10 even if those releases are objectively trash, like Nightmares of the Decomposed), that stuff is shallow and most listeners are privy to it. Like any hype train that’s given a big boost on novelty fuel, eventually Sleep Token will have to run on their own, and I think that once the high wears off, a lot of people will realize it was all just gas. But it does still frustrate me that these pop crossover attempts get boosted and talked up like they’re the acts that are keeping metal alive, like the groveling act of making metal on the terms of fleeting pop trends is what needs to be done to keep metal alive and relevant. That’s lazy and weak and it hasn’t ever been what put metal into people’s ears in the past either, not for thrash, not for grunge, not for nu metal, hell not even for glam. The broader pop music sphere caught wind of what was happening and reached out because they wanted what metal was doing, not the other way around. Metal is a genre built on an ethos partly of exhilarating power, and I don’t think that power should be ceded so much to the volatile trends of the day.

To be honest, I guess it makes me a little worried… Pop music has historically come to metal, seeing all sorts of weird, new, exciting, visceral stuff worth trying to emulate and boost. But now it seems like there’s this big push for metal to go the other way, like it’s out of ideas, like there isn’t any more the genre has left to offer, and like it’ll die out without reaching out to the reliable appeal of pop. It’s been a pretty slow year so far, this is the first thing I’ve talked about and the most discussed album of the year so far, by far. Is this the most exciting thing to happen in metal this year? Is this really the best thing we have to offer? Fuckin’ Sleep Token? I hope not.

3/10

[nightmares-voicemail]

Introduction

Oh, hey, mortal. So, guess this old thing still works…? Well, congrats. By discovering this interface, you gained the ability to send messages beyond time and space, to the Infinite Cosmos. I advise you to use this power with an adequate level of responsibility.

Or don’t. It doesn’t matter, really. Because of the nature of the Cosmos, each reality contains infinite copies of itself. Even if you somehow end up completely messing up a world by, I don’t know, sending nuclear plans to cavepeople? Who cares, there’s still infinite versions of that world where that never happened. Just please, don’t piss off any Prime Gods. They will get on my case, and while they can’t do anything to me, they love to complain, and I have no interest dealing with them.

Actually wait, I can just make it so that you can’t contact other Prime Gods through this. That should save me some headache.

Anyway. If you REALLY feel like you need an entity with knowledge and power that you won’t be able to comprehend in a billion lifetimes for some chit-chat, you can message me. Make it entertaining and I might answer. Okay, that out of the way, here’s some instructions and basic terms on how to use this thing.

P.S. If you’re about to ask me to save you from some sort of world-shattering disaster, don’t. I’m not your nanny.

P.S.2: I might make an exception if said disaster was caused by me, but do not ask me to fix what other deities messed up. We have a policy of not getting into each other’s business and the only reason I ignore that is if it amuses me. But believe me, your problems are incredibly boring.

Okay, so the rules.

This is an ask/RP blog for my stories and OCs from the Infinite Cosmos setting. That is, basically all my stories and OCs. You can address me with general questions about characters or my writing, or you can address my characters for an in-character response. I might hold on to information about ongoing stories to avoid spoilers, but otherwise I like to rant about my writing so go and give me an excuse to do that if you’re interested.

The Setting

The Infinite Cosmos, most commonly referred as simply the Cosmos by its inhabitants, is a multiverse of multiverses where every possible and impossible version of reality exists somewhere. Some worlds and people are more aware of the other worlds out there than others. Also some worlds exist in other worlds as works of fiction. All my stories, both original and fanfiction, take place in the Cosmos. This is usually not at all important for the stories itself – after all, the Cosmos is infinite and I crafted it with the exact purpose that any kind of fictional world can coexist in it without contradicting each other, but it gives justification for cross references and metajokes which I love to make. (There is a cosmology and backstory I’m working on which I will definitely finish and use in an actual story one day.)

My Stories

Enchant: My current main project. An ongoing series about troubled teens discovering magical powers and turning into superheroes in a fictional modern setting. Updates irregularly with pretty long chapters.

You can always see the darkness: A long series of Deltarune fanfiction that I wrote over the course of a year, eventually turning it into its own AU. It is finished now.

Shuffled Fate: A discontinued isekai story from 2021. A lot of my OCs originate from here. To address the Shuffled Fate-version of any characters, just put “SF!” before their name. Otherwise, the more recent version of the character will answer if there are any.

Reverse Rune: An ongoing Deltarune roleswap AU series. It’s currently on the backburner.

Misplaced Fate: My multifandom-multiverse-crossover project. On the backburner.

Cross-references

I’m a writer with writer friends. Sometimes we get involved in each other’s projects or write fanfiction/recursive fanfiction for them. I have a friend who has a universal adaptor cast of OCs and she also likes to put her friend’s OCs into her stories. We both like crossovers and references. This can lead to shenanigans. If I reference a friend’s story or character, just take it as my headcanon/take on the original like you’d do with any canon fandom characters. Obviously nothing is canon to my friends’ works unless they say so.

Canon Characters

If I ever wrote fanfiction for something, you can send asks or prompts about those stories and characters too, just keep in mind that you’re talking to the character’s version living in my multiverse.

My OCs

Wisp: Okay, so this is not really an OC (man, I’m bad at this aren’t I), it’s just me. The creator of all my works and the narrator of most of them. You can address me in general about my worlds and characters, just keep in mind that I have no idea what I am doing most of the time, I will most likely make up stuff on the fly and might end up contradicting myself. I also use they/them pronouns mostly, it/its fine too until further notice.

Nightmare: He’s a Prime God, that is, he’s one of the “true gods” of the multiverse, not part of an in-universe pantheon. He can do anything, in theory, and he’s quite determined to see if that’s true in practice too, unlike other deities who usually stick to creating and managing their own worlds. He usually appears as this really tall guy with spiky black hair, long black fingernails, wearing a biker outfit, sunglasses, and oh, he has eight eyes. He also tends to talk in a kind of deep, booming voice that carries the feeling of powerful emphasis for mortal beings. He can be a bit jerkish and full of himself as a side-effect of the whole all-powerful god thing.

“I can hear you; you know.”

Flow: “Uhm, voices in my head… okay, don’t panic, this happened to Natasha too. Wait, that’s not reassuring at all.”

Flow is a guy (gender neutral) who I like to put into situations. They went from being unexpectedly isekaid in Shuffled Fate to being unexpectedly but a bit more willingly becoming a hero in Enchant (those are different canons and even worlds but eh). They’re great at being out of their water, feeling anxious, and serving as a foil to more extravagant characters, which does not mean they can’t be a bit of a mess themself. Also they’re 15 because that’s a great age to have things happen to you.

“Good things?”

:)

“Oh…”

In Enchant, Flow’s heroic identity is Ruthen. If you address Ruthen, they will answer as them, assuming you don’t know their identity.

Natasha: “Oh no, not again.”

“Oh, come on, I know you enjoy making a good show. And now you have an audience!”

“Sigh, fine. Not like I have much choice, you will just keep broadcasting these telepathic messages from other worlds into my head until I answer them, don’t you.”

Excuse Natasha for her mood, she had a rough…

“Life.”

“Lives.”

… existence. She started out as a minor Deltarune OC, then grew into a major antagonist in my fanfiction, then into an Anti-Villain. At some point in 2022 when Kira was looking for friends’ OCs to put them into her MLB fanfic, Maris Stella, I submitted Natasha, somewhat reworking her concept to work better with the different setting. Then, partially inspired by MLB and Maris Stella myself, I started to work on Enchant where Natasha became one of the main protagonists.

Even though she’s got three different versions now, the gist of the character stayed the same. She started out as an orphan living in pretty bad circumstances, being bullied by older kids, got separated from her one (1) friend, then got taken in by a rich widow who turned out to be an abusive jerk. Where the story goes from there is what really differs in the different continuities.

Addressing Natasha generally will get you her Enchant version most of the time – you can address DR!Natasha for her original version from my fanfiction or Maris!Natasha for the version appearing in Maris Stella. Addressing Nocturknight or Sylvana, her heroic alteregos from Enchant and Maris Stella respectively, she will answer as them, assuming you don’t know her civilian identity.

Vess: “…”

These are voice messages. They can’t see you. All they know is that you’re not talking.

“…”

Sigh. Vess grinned threateningly at the audience, showing their inhumanly sharp teeth.

There, happy now?

“Yes.”

Okay, so…

“Wait, are you making fun of me?”

… so Vess was originally my interpretation of the Discarded Vessel from Deltarune for a fanfic I wrote. Then as I kept writing more stuff with them, they kept growing, slowly becoming their own thing. Since I wanted to use them more, I decided to rework their whole background, creating a version with largely the same personality, and keeping and building on the gimmicks I added, for Enchant.

In all their versions, they’re an edgy, angsty, creepy, mostly-humanoid-in-an-uncanny-valley-way straw nihilist creature with artificial origins who will eat anything. That might or might not include you.

“It does.”

By default, Vess’ Enchant version answers the asks. For their original version from my fanfiction, address DR!Vess.

Néne: Néne is a powerful Seer native to Stonecloud Realm (the original setting of Shuffled Fate). She has the ability to see a person’s past and future as a network of branching paths but can’t predict what choices someone will make before they actually make them. Basically imagine what Garnet from Steven Universe had going on, but on a much bigger scale.

“Oh, Garnet? She’s adorable, but if anything, I’d call her a talented guesser rather than an actual Seer. I mean come on, being given false information can confuse her vision. That’s called a prediction, not a prophecy. But she’s a great yoga partner and I got my favorite pancake recipe from her. She’s always welcome at my house.”

Unlike most other Seers who work as spies, strategists, or advisers, Néne uses her power the run a successful restaurant, as she can make anyone’s favorite food, the exact way they like it without ever meeting them before. This, and her “first time free” policy turned Néne’s Dinner Hall a popular tourist spot among the travelers of Stonecloud and sometimes even guests from other worlds pay a visit.

“I saw it too many times, what it does to people if they learn about their possible futures. It paralyzes them with fear, denies them from meaningful choices. Everyone wants something and we all fear failure – but if we start to make our choices based on fixed knowledge of what will get us what we want then our life becomes a complicated choreography and somewhere along the way, we stop being ourselves. A good meal can make so much more good, don’t you think?”

Artemis: “Hi there! If you have some time, come, visit my shop! You don’t need to buy anything, but you might want after checking out our antique wares! For more information visit gwn.herald.con/@ArtemisHolmes and don’t be afraid to leave a like!”

Uhm okay, yes, while Artemis poses as an antique shopkeeper…

“I can assure you, I’m a perfectly ordinary shopkeeper.”

… he’s actually one of the few remaining members of the Order of the Enchanters, guardian of the remaining Enchants and currently in charge of picking human allies in the fight against the Sorcerer. He’s also well over 800 years old and is the spouse of…

Nox: “I don’t trust this at all. We have enough on our plate here, in our world without voices from the Cosmos.”

Rob Nox (Rob is his family name) comes from a long line of soldiers serving the Order. He was about to be an exception, up until his family history quite literally caught up to him. Long before Nox’s birth, his father was afflicted with a magical condition that slowly turned his body into living crystal feeding on his very life-force. Nobody realized the severity of it until it was too late. After his father succumbed to the curse it moved to the next generation – onto Nox. He joined the Order in hopes for retaliation and a cure but only started to care about its mission after meeting a young and idealistic Artemis. Then the Mistfall came.

Narwia: She’s not a cat.

“Wait, that’s it? That’s all you’re going to say about me‽”

It seemed important to you.

“No, you know what I mean, there’s really nothing interesting you can say about me? You did it for all the others!”

Very well, why don’t you go ahead and talk about yourself then?

“Hah! You’d like to know, don’t you?”

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyway, Narwia Solena is a felimorph and professional reaper and devil-hunter, working with the Order of the Enchanters on a strictly occasional basis.

She’s also a cat sometimes!

“I’m a felimorph!”

Igne: “Hey! Not sure who you are and how can we talk, but go ahead, ask me anything!”

Igne is one of Flow’s classmates with a passionate personality and wide range of interests. They love martial arts but have a hard time following any actual training because of their wayward nature. They hate bullies and dream about being able to help others but can be a bit reckless at times.

Matis: “Is it really a good idea to give out all this pretty personal information about us to some mysterious voices claiming to be from other worlds? I mean, shouldn’t we be at least a bit suspicious about this?”

Matis is Flow’s other classmate and the best friend of Igne. He’s usually responsible for his age and often acts as the voice of reason besides Igne, however his curiosity and desire to be more proactive and bolder can lead him into dangerous situations as well.

This list is incomplete and will be updated over time, but don’t feel limited by it. You can address any characters who appear in any of my works, whether they’re on the list or not!

[purenguyening]

For the name + question thing: N A O - (A) L I C E + M Y S T (E) R (I C A)

spell your name in my ask, fandom edition!

N, your favourite crackship:

Nakamori Aoko/Mouri Ran, mostly because I like to poetically name the ship "A blue orchid". I do think they should meet and they'd definitely get a long, though.

A, fandom you blog about the most:

Going based on tumblr, probably Touhou Project? It's the fandom that saw the most activity out of me.

O, tell us about your favourite AU for one of your ship:

In the same Touhou Modern AU, I like the idea of Yoshika and Kasen running a Dim Sum shop together, but like with every other alternate universe, I never dedicated time to actually sit down and flesh it out further...

--

A, fandom you blog about the most:

I think second most might be Ace Attorney (though I have never finished Spirit of Justice and ever started the Dai Gyakuten Saiban series). I used to write a decent amount of meta thoughts on it and had a short list of what I imagined an Ace Attorney Investigations III would look like, it's still floating around somewhere on Tumblr under my old blog...

L, a quote from one of your fandoms which you absolutely adore:

Haibara: Oh, since when did I become your assistant?

Conan: Not, assistant, partner.

&

Haibara: Moreover, I also believe in him as my partner.

This is a bit of a cheat because I think it works specifically if you know they're from back to back movies (the former from Movie 11 and the latter from Movie 12). They're a very lovely pair of moments that I think captures a lot of the trust and faith Conan and Ai have in each other.

I know the term they specifically use is 'aibou' but I have heard it's slowly becoming a term to have a romantic sense and I, personally do like the term partner as a romantic term, too...

I, a book you can read over and over:

A Tour of Calculus by David Berlinkski. I like reading about the history of mathematics. I don't know if I can fully read it right now and follow all of the logic since it's been a long time since I've read anything about mathematics in full detail, but I would like to give it a go in the neat future.

Also, I love that one of the chapters is just title "Yo."

C, which fandom do you know the most about?

Touhou Project just because of sheer scale and how long it's been running. I would argue, even though I only focus on like a small faction of Touhou, it's still a lot.

It's a very dense series and even if you only focus a small section you end up learning a lot.

E, a character you think you’re the most like?

Ema Skye from Ace Attorney. I can't help but feel a lot for her about her frustrations in her career path and wanting to repay my debts to others but not able to due to circumstances out side of my control.

--

M, your favourite writer/s

I had to think about this because I tend to only read a small fraction of a writer's works and it's rare for me to read all of their works.

Off the top of my head: blackidyll, huppaduppa, mimicteruyo, and rabbiteclair

For a more traditional published author, Rebecca Traister has been lingering in the back of my mind lately.

Y, which of your favourite shows has the worst writing?:

Detective Conan, but I think is in part to Aoyama wanting to push for like 200 volumes and so there's a lot of easy points.

One moment that I find particularly off-putting is Haibara's restrained reaction to Kid tazing Conan. It just felt off and it's one of those moments that I really felt my suspension of disbelief breaking.

The other moment is during the London Arc where Ran shouts at Shinichi to "deduce her heart". That moment made me incredibly uncomfortable.

S, which ship do you have an infinite amount of songs for?

Honestly, none. I have like one romantic song that I will shamelessly slap onto all of my OTPs instead.

It's Nodey's Đôi Khi ❤️

(Yes, the heart emoji is very important) There's some details of the song that I know won't work for every OTP, but I just adore the refrain too much:

Đôi khi em trông thấy anh

Đôi khi lại không

Đôi tay ta ôm lấy nhau

Không đi về đâu

Sometimes I see you,

Sometimes I don't

Our hands embracing

Into nowhere.

The above is the official translation (like, what you'll see when you turn on English Subtitles) but the way I've always understood the song is:

Sometimes, I see you, sometimes I don't. (With) our hands entwined (we're) going nowhere.

Functionally, they're the same, but my read of it is a little bit more personal? And I always thought it suited a bit more once you know the featured artist, Suboi, is married to Nodey.

I digress.

T, favourite female characters?

At the moment, Makomo.

I don't know why but when I'm alone I find myself muttering "Everyone shut the fuck up, right now, Makomo's here" every time I saw her and it's kind of evolved a bit where my friends will send me art with the caption: "Everyone be quiet!!! She's here!!!" and I just get really happy? I love her dearly.

E, a character you think you’re the most like?

Haibara Ai, I just love her arc and her coming to terms with the past and how it doesn't define her who she is today. She's rebuilding her life and finding joy in the people who love her.

R, best book to film adaptation, in your opinion?

This is cringe and a failure on me since I don't have usually pick up a lot of books and movie adaptations together so my only answer is, sadly, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

I, a book you can read over and over

I'm not entirely sure if I should count it since I'm really only reading it for one specific chapter but, One-Winged Butterfly, specifically the chapter "For Those Who Do Not Smile."

There's a lot of fun details that just bring a smile to my face.

C, which fandom do you know the most about?

Free! Probably in part there's a lot of magazine articles and interviews that have been translated over the years so I end up picking up a lot of the thought process behind the making of the series.

A, fandom you blog about the most

Going by my blog's tags, Free!

[legendary-alliance-stance]

That's totally fine! worked sucked today and I went to bed suuuper late lmao so like I'm only just decompressing now anyways

ALSO SCREAMING AND CRYING RN OMG thank you so much for the dialogue recording!! I literally spent a half hour doing the dishes today with my wireless headset on just camped in the wizard's tower listening out for their lines lmao

GOD put makeup on the man!! Give it to him!! AH it's so GOOD 👏DARK👏SKINNED👏ARCHEMORUS!👏 AND THAT HAIR ON THE YOUNG ONES GOD IT'S SO YESSS

GOD THEY'RE SO CUTE THEY LOOK SO GOOD!!

Also doing a bit of research it appears tattoos were a common occurrence among the Luxons??? so like. any tattoo headcanons u know like a sleeve, a tramp stamp, neck, thigh, ankle, full body etc like what are we thinking

and YEAH the clothes don't make sense to my brain I'm definitely not like a concept artist kinda person I literally have no idea where to even start with something like that lmao but maybe one day I'll. think about it... or maybe just. make it a modern au. or skip the clothes whateverr who needs em >.>

ALSO have this quick little post-it note doodle cause I can't GET THAT MAKEUP OUT OF MY HEAD NOW that's SO FREAKING UGH I couldn't go to sleep without a scribble i really really couldn't n it's only fair tbh u show me urs i should share mine ri ght (even if i hate it gotta do it for the vibezzz) IT'S BED TIME AND U GOT ME DRAWING BY PHONE LIGHT BRO also it's impossible to take pictures at night without natural lighting and sorry it's MASSIVE idk why phone photos be saving like that

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/947194586055446589/1145964630225723483/Vik_8_28_23.jpg

(if that link doesn't work i'll like. find some other way to show u lmao) I might like upload this one day somewhere if I ever bother to like. make an art blog or a gw2 blog or smthin' but if you like this and wanna save it u should cause idk if I'll leave it on discord forever so the link might break lmao

k goodnight

SOMEHOW I DIDNT SEE THIS ASK UNTIL RIGHT NOW??? THANKS TUMBLR MOBILE UR A WORKING APP

IM GLAD U ENJOYED THE DIALOGUE RECORDING!!! I love listening to them so so SO MUCH

AND IM!!!

SO HAPPY THAT U LIKE MY ART OF THEM!! THANK U SO MUCH!!!

and I haven’t actually figured out what I imagine archemorus’s tattoos look like yet!! he has some on his arms in the factions trailer but they’re also the exact same as the generic luxons there so lmao I don’t think anet put too much thought into that aspect of things FJSKFKSKS I’ll have to work on designing that for him at some point!!!

AND HONESTLY A MODERN AU IS SO VALID. that’s truly the easiest way to handle characters with complicated outfits lmao

AND!! IM ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED TO SEE UR DRAWING OF VIKKY!!! HE LOOKS LOVELY!! I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE U TO DRAW MORE!!!!

[SAVES IT SAVES IT SAVES IT]

AND I ALSO ENCOURAGE U TO MAKE A TUMBLR!! partly so u can post art and also it’s so much easier to communicate via reblog/messages/replies than via asks!!! join me in gw2 blog hell <333 EITHER THAT or if ur comfy with it u can add me on discord!!

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

*

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. “I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

*

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

*

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

[defensefilms]

European Super League Is Everything You Hate About Modern Sports

“A wolf should be beaten first, so that the other wolves will smell it’s blood and know what might happen to them and so never come again”- The Heart Gently Weeps by Wu-Tang

I don’t talk about soccer/football much on this blog. I mostly save that for Flex Files TV and this is a topic we’ve talked about on our Youtube channel.

On Saturday the 17th of April, a news story broke that the top teams in European football were planning to break away and start their own competition to replace the annually contested UEFA Champion’s League.

They essentially want to eliminate the little guy. They are essentially trying to monopolize the sport and divide the pie amongst only the elite teams in European football.

The teams named as co-conspirators in this treason are AC Milan, Inter Milan, Juventus FC, FC Barcelona, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool FC, Arsenal FC, Chelsea FC and Tottenham Hotspur. 

What do I believe should be done?

First and foremost, there must be punishment. Severe punishment.

I want FIFA, UEFA and all the world’s top football associations to collaborate and crush this act of greed, insolence and rebellion. I want them to do what parents used to do back in the day. Which is just lay in the cut and wait until you watching tv or sleeping, and then proceed to hand out beat downs.

A three year transfer ban for all the teams involved would do the trick. A lot of the teams named have ageing squads so forcing them to sit three seasons with the same players, would teach them a lesson and restore the balance of power in each of the various leagues they play in. 

Then you need to limit their exposure by giving them live television broadcast times that are out of left field. Want to watch Real Madrid live in the three next years? Prepare to stay up until 1AM at the earliest. 

Another way is to start opening the avenues for players to do business ventures independently of the clubs that they play for. This would change the business landscape but would hurt the big clubs the most, especially at the beginning. You’d also likely have to talk to jersey manufacturers like Nike and Adidas to implement it well but all you’d be doing is creating a revenue stream that the clubs won’t be allowed to share in.

If you think about it, corona virus is a perfect excuse to hit the big teams live game attendance as well. Big teams draw bigger crowds don’t they? Shouldn’t there be heavier restrictions on them because of this? Start limiting how many fans the likes of Liverpool and City can have in their venues. Only you allow the smaller clubs to sell more tickets to the same fans. So the likes of Leicester City, Napoli FC, Valencia can sell more tickets because they don’t have the same capacity but they’re selling to more fans than they would otherwise. 

You get the drift. Start hitting them where it hurts. Start taking away the things that allowed them to become the major conglomerates they’ve become.

Heads have got to roll, gentleman. Preferably roll on to the end of a pike that should be placed at the entrance of every football venue, for fans in attendance to throw rotting vegetables at.

I grew up with this sport. The idea that some owners in suits and ties, living in the ivory towers somewhere, think that they have the right to alter and change this game because they can and because their greedy enough to do it, is a low-down, dirty, filthy, shame.

What should be happening is a mob-justice, French Revolution style ting but the veneer of civility, modernity and money, allow people to get away with things.

Let me address Manchester United, before I jet.

I’ve rooted for this team since I was 13 and you know, this team hasn’t given me much to celebrate lately. We were once a symbol of excellence. We were once the standard bearers of the entire sport. We were once the most revered football culture in the world.

Now look at us.

Docile. Greedy. Incompetent. Scheming, Backstabbing. Manipulative. 

We once stood front and center of the sport. The one team you could always trust to raise the bar in a big game. 

Now we’re defined by boardroom meetings where guys with bald spots try to influence and bend an entire sport to their will, and our ownership is right there trying to do the same thing.

The Glazer family are the worst thing that ever happened to Man United. Their influence is the single biggest thing behind Manchester United becoming the annual, season-long comedy show we’ve turned in to. I wasn’t surprised at all that we were involved. Our ownership are not high integrity people and it shows in how they run the football club. 

Make no mistake the Glazers are the failsons of football ownership. The team they inherited (they bought the club in the 00′s) was in such a great place as far as on-field results and they have completely wasted it away. One dumb executive decision and coaching hire after another. 

See anyone can buy a football club. Believe it or not, there is no shortage of people who would be willing to take on the financial risk of a team like Man United, especially when you look at how commercially viable the team already is and how many revenue streams they have built over the last three decades.

Billionaires have pulled off the trick of making you think they are special. They’re not.

This is what this once-great sporting institution has devolved into. An abomination/golem slowly devouring itself and now clutching at everything else around it, including the league that helped make them the television draw that they are and the money they’ve made along with it. 

Former Manchester United right-back and now Sky Sports pundit/presenter, Gary Neville, had a heartfelt speech live on-air on Saturday afternoon that definitely put my feelings across. 

Football fans feel betrayed by this and we have every right to feel that way.

[spectrumed]

8. book

I decided to start writing a book. A novel, it’s going to be fiction. It’s a big project. I dread big projects. I don’t feel as if I am ever able to complete them. It’s going to be left unfinished, why do I even bother? So many projects that I’ve started and never finished. I get an idea, then I can’t make myself do the actual work to make it a reality. Why do I think I can write a book when I can barely read books without becoming distracted and doing something else instead? I give up too easily. But, then again, do I really have it in me to produce something that is good? That people would want to read? Insecurity creeps in, telling me that I will fail. I fear failure. Of course I do, who doesn’t? Whenever people say that their greatest fear is failure, all I wonder is who out there is not afraid of failure? Is there someone out there with so much confidence that they absolutely do not in any way fear failure? Even narcissists technically fear failure, it is what leads them to such ridiculous overcompensation, putting on the facade of bravado to mask their actual dire sense of insecurity. Do not fall for the scams, no person is truly without self-doubt. (Well, I guess maybe psychopaths, but there’s a whole lot of things amiss with them.)

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve entertained myself by coming up with stories, fictional universes that I would populate with characters of my own invention. When I was a kid, what I really wanted was to become a comic book writer and artist. Well, in between other gigs I imagined would suit me, including at one point wanting to be a “singing farmer,” as I put it. Still, I’ve always returned to fiction and storytelling. There’s something about creating a world that lets you so fully distract yourself from all the stressful daily hullabaloo that goes on around you. Escapism, it’s fun, it’s therapeutic, I think. There’s a reason why humans have been telling each other stories for millennia, since even before we lived in houses. Back when we were all huddled around the fire, wearing our best comfortable animal furs, sharing tales of the hunt. Your uncle who once took part in killing a mammoth, the impressive beast nearly gorging him with its big tusks. How clever he was when he noticed that the mammoth had one leg weaker than the others, and used that to his advantage. How the entire hunting party banded together to bring the behemoth down, getting all that meat to feed their families with for months! Stories make you feel good. Like as if you have something to celebrate, even when you might be starving due to the more recent hunts not having gone as well. Damn that saber-tooth tiger that killed your uncle…

Storytelling is linked to acting. Both with acting and with storytelling you have to commit. Whatever you are doing, whatever role you are performing, you have to sell it. You may be on stage talking about that time you went scuba diving with your future wife, and how you encountered an oyster with the most magnificent pearl inside, and how you made a ring for the pearl and used it when you proposed to her. You have to sell it. You have to get the audience laughing, gasping, crying, going “aww,” feeling as if they were there with you that day. Of course, they don’t know it is all just lies. You made it up. It’s all fiction. But you committed, so they won’t ever know. Storytelling is a gift to others, people will appreciate you if you tell good stories, but you’re also kinda deviant. Even if it’s technically based on a true story, you’ve certainly added your embellishments. You’re a trickster, a devious individual. No wonder actors have historically been seen as dubious folks. They come into town, romances all the young women and men, telling them big tales of their lives on the road, and they can’t possibly know if you are telling the truth or not. You may just be lying. You probably are lying. Let’s be honest, you’ve probably not told a single true thing in your life.

I am bad at the hustle. No, I can talk quite well, and I can keep people’s attention for a long while. But I can’t be a huckster. Going out there, putting myself on the line hoping people will swallow my bullshit. I can’t really avoid speaking from my heart when I do speak. Or when I write, as I happen to be doing now. This blog has so far been thoroughly candid in places, in such a way I may come across like I’m at a confessional. Not that I have much evil to confess, but I can’t help but be transparent. I can’t flip into different kinds of personalities, each with its own schemes and plots, being some master manipulator, someone who you can never figure out what they're truly up to, or what they truly want. No, what I am is clearly written on my face. I’ve got one self, and it is the one before you. He’s hairy, and tall, and a bit of a dork. I am happy to talk to you, to engage with you, but I won’t be anyone but myself. I am me. I hope that’ll do.

Of course you are familiar with all those pick-up artists that plagues the internet. Or well, not just the internet. Go into any old-fashioned bookstore (where they store books on paper, not in digital code,) and you are bound to find some sleazy book written by a sleazy guy about how to sleazily seduce women. Those books don’t want you acting like me. According to them, seduction is all about manipulation. To figure out the very right thing to say to get women to fawn all over you. They don’t want you to be sincere, telling the truth as you see it. Nah, you gotta keep that stuff bottled up, deep down inside your soul, because most likely, your true self is ugly. It’s interesting how you can get little details from these pick-up artists depending on the sort of things they say, the tips they provide. The fact that all of them seem to harbour this festering misogyny is no big surprise, but every so often, you get these little glimpses of these people’s true worldview, one where power is everything, true love is a fallacy, and happiness is a lie manufactured by Hollywood to make us all into docile consumers. No wonder the “red-pill” so often leads to people taking the “black-pill.” First hucksters will lure you in, telling you that they’ve got the secret as to how to be a success, then when they’ve got you isolated, they reveal to you how truly misanthropic and bleak their actual beliefs are.

I am fascinated with cults, for much of the same reason why I am fascinated with storytelling. What is a cult leader if not just a great storyteller? They’re something like the modern day shaman, capable of spellbinding people with their weird idiosyncratic way of speaking. High-functioning people with autism are often said to have an idiosyncratic way of speaking. No, I am not suggesting that cult leaders are all somewhere on the spectrum, though it wouldn’t surprise me if some famous cult leaders did turn out to have been on the spectrum. However, for an autistic person to become a cult leader, I think they would have to be a true believer, and not some fraud just looking to scam others. Ultimately, no autistic person would want to surround themselves with people unless they truly do believe it is essential, to like, save mankind from damnation or something. It’s the difference between sincerity and insincerity. It is difficult for autistic people to be insincere, as insincerity requires a lot of social skills that autistic people struggle with. Having to juggle all these balls in the air, making sure you keep the big lie going, that you remember to change your behaviour depending on who you are speaking to in order to keep them from figuring out that you’re a bullshitter. Hollow people are great at being insincere. People like L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of the highly profitable cult that is Scientology, was at his core a hollow individual. He had no problems twisting the minds of the people around him, because he never felt a need to be sincere. If an autistic person were to become a cult leader, I can guarantee you that it wouldn’t be a profitable cult. Nah, autistic people aren’t in it for the money, we’re all about keeping it real.

Being a sincere person, surely I should be able to write a novel and make it feel earnest. Like it was delivered with passion, because I wouldn’t be able to write anything that wasn’t true to myself. Well, I do hope so. Having something I’ve made be referred to as genuine is something I see as a great compliment. I’m a student of art history, I’ve made some “serious” art before, I know how terrible art can be when it is not delivered with good faith. Sure, some art is cynical, or ironic, but even then, it tends to come from a real place. Good artists, even when they’re fully armed with the dada mindset, must believe in what they are doing. Whether they are doing it for a laugh or not, that’s irrelevant. Even if all you wish is to be silly and make something that is comical, you have to believe in what you are creating. Or else people won’t bother engaging with it. Why look at a painting by someone who is just interested in making money? Insincere artists do exist, and they can end up becoming quite successful, but ultimately, history won’t be kind to them. Damien Hirst comes to mind, heard he's into NFTs now.

Sure, I don’t like insincere people. Does that make me a bigot? Like, it’s not as if they can help themselves. It’s just who they are, spineless maggots with no soul. It doesn’t mean we have to hate them. No, no, no... I am just generalising. Don’t go thinking there’s just two kinds of people in the world, the sincere and the insincere. It’s not a binary. Most people are both, just like with introverts and extroverts, humans are complex. But there are definitely those that decide to feed into their insincere side, realising that it is often the key to success. Through insincerity, you learn to let go of self-doubt, you stop worrying so much about what others think of you, because you are never truly yourself. If they hate you, then so what? They don’t actually hate you, they just hate a role that you are playing. So what if you seduced that woman, made her feel as if you were the perfect match, then you ghosted her and completely forgot about her? It’s her fault for falling for your tricks. You were clearly just playing the game, being a super-seducer, she should have known better. By embracing insincerity, it’s like gaining a superpower. No longer do you have to care about the impact you have on others, no longer do you have to worry about what it means to be a social human being making choices that affect the others around you. Because you’re not the person they think you are. Actually, you’re not quite sure you’re the person you think you are… Who are you?

I’ve got the plot all laid out in my head for the novel. It’s going to be based in the fantasy world that I’ve been working on for the last few years. I’ve been working on this world for almost half a decade now, come to think of it. Why do I keep feeling as if I am never able to keep to a project, when I’ve clearly been working on a massive project all this time? Sure, it’s all just in my head, but it’s not as if most people have the kind of patience to keep going back to a single big project, even if it is just in their head. Not once, while thinking about my fantasy world have I been distracted and started thinking about cute puppies, instead. And you know how difficult that is. Maybe I am too hard on myself. Maybe I will finish this book, and maybe people will want to read it. Maybe it will even get a minimal number of angry reviews, like, I may get a book published without some folks trying to harass me into committing suicide for daring to think I can write. Some people may even be enthusiastic, blowing up my ego with great praise. Maybe someone will come along and tell me that they want to buy the rights to make my book into a movie or a television series. Maybe I will get rich? Maybe I will get famous! Woo! Success here I come!

Well, no, here I go being insincere. That’s not what it’s about. I should be writing this book because I want to write it. Because I want to prove to myself that I am able to write it. Sure, it’s not as if there’s not a little brain goblin inside my mind whispering sweet nothings about how one day I might turn out a real respected author. One with real fans that gets to do big book tours talking about how brilliant I am, how brilliant my work is, and how brilliant things are going for me. I am not going to pretend I don’t have the same aspirations for success that others have. Inside of me you will find the same greedy piglet of an ego hungry for more adoration and more validation that you will find in any person. Humans don’t know when to quit, we always want more. But I am at least safe knowing that I will never debase myself, descending to the same depths as those inhabited by soulless grifters who go through life abusing the trust of others in order to get by. I’m sincere, in the end. I always turn out sincere, in the end. I am a good boy.

And I am also really sexy. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before on this blog, but I am really, REALLY, sexy. Like, you wouldn’t believe it. Oh, I am so hot. And if you follow and subscribe and hit that bell, I will teach you how you can be just as sexy as I am! And buy my book! And my merch! And my new single! And of course, my new cryptocurrency, by the name of “autism-coin.” It’s going to be a real success on 4chan, let me tell ya!

[paranormalrealism]

Readers

Get To Know Me

My name is Orville Burch. I’m author of paranormal fiction and of warrior-theme self-help books.

I have 20 publications available on Amazon

I price all of my work as low as I can. I offer both paperback and Kindle versions.

All are listed on Kindle Unlimited so you can download for free (LEAVING KU END OF APRIL)

I'm a writer of the paranormal.

Raised on a farm in the Appalachian Mountains.

1971 Graduate of Springfield High School Bergholz, Ohio

1974 Graduate of the University of Steubenville

1977 Graduate of Miami University

1983 Graduate of Bowling Green State University

Earned a PhD in biology

An active explorer of the unknown.

You can follow me on my Amazon Author page

https://amazon.com/author/orvilleburch…

Instagram

https://instagram.com/burchstoryteller/…

Tumblr

https://tumblr.com/blog/paranormalrealism…

Facebook

https://facebook.com/burchorv

 Most of my work is classified as paranormal fiction. Such as

DESIRE

Some paranormal investigators believe that a ghost remains to complete an unfinished desire - even if it is a desire to murder.

https://amazon.com/dp/B08G8S495Y

 DEVIL

A young researcher collects supernatural stories while chasing the Beast in the American Southwest. When she corners him, he is not what she expected - he is far worse

https://amazon.com/dp/B08G9LRB65

DEAD MAN’S WATCH

A young man, who believes he is an undead sent back to watch over Rachel Law, seeks her help when his own ghost starts to haunt him.

https://amazon.com/dp/B08GJH7RNM

VIGILANTE SECRETS

When a young girl shares her secret with an ancestor who took his to the grave, she didn't know he would awake to avenge her. Now she must learn his secrets to put him at rest.

https://amazon.com/dp/B08JHPW2HP

I also write short stories which I can set as low as $.99 on Kindle. The short stories are mostly paranormal fiction. Some are prequels to a novel that I have in progress to publish later this year.

This includes:

WEREWOLF P.T.S.D.

Making it through puberty should be enough stress without having a werewolf transformation waiting for you.

https://amazon.com/dp/B09759PMPC

WIDDERSHINS–A SHORT STORY ABOUT TIME TRAVEL

A Widdershin can reset time by 5 minutes to save a life, but that reset propels them into the future. When the love of his young life saves him, he begins a journey to find her in his future.

https://amazon.com/dp/B09H2K3647

BEAST OF REDDOG ROAD

An ancient evil descends on the sleepy farms along Reddog Road in eastern Ohio. Becky can smell it and has survived one brutal attack. When the smell returns, she and her friends decide that since parents won’t do anything, they will.

https://amazon.com/dp/B09H3FRY1H

 I also have a couple of novels classified as young adult. That means that they are suitable for ages 12 and up. Many adult readers have also enjoyed them. As a side note, the cover model for both of the young adult books is my great-great niece, Taylor Hayes, and the photographs were taken by my great niece, Ruthann Hayes.

AND ON HER FARM SHE HAD A GHOST

Paranormal investigators have to start somewhere. Rachel and her friends started at the age of 12. No one thought they were serious, except for a ghost wanting their help and a killer wanting them dead.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C7PP6T6

 WITH A BOO HERE, AND A BOO THERE

Rachel and her friends take on an ancient demon that lives off the fear of children. While adults look for any other possible reason, she knows it is the closet monster.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087PNCDDM

 I also am researcher and author of self-help books centered on the ancient definition of warriors. This theme was developed after several years of talking with various tribes in Africa (Zimbabwe, Zambia, Egypt, Tanzania, and South Africa) and with elders in several Native American tribes (Apache, Spokane, and Blackfoot). I blended what I learned about characteristics of warriors into a modern version of “warrior.”

 I WARRIOR

We all warrior for our passions (writing, reading, family, environment, climate, kindness, humanity, Nature, Parent, Relationship, Health, etc.) If it is important to you, then warrior it. Be the warrior you want to be.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08L2J83QK

 SMASH OUT

We all get into ruts as we journey through life. Sometimes we forget to follow our passions and enjoy all the beauty. Life has a way of dragging you down and holding you back. You can Smash Out.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0927XSQFS

[fuckinglovemanga]

Yes, I hate Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist.

Ok this is a bit random for my blog but I just have to say this shit somewhere cause since I first saw this film last year I have yet to find anyone with my take on it who has reviewed it.

Ok so a common criticism of this movie is that it’s misogynistic. And it definitely is. But not for the surface level reasons that people seem to think. I don’t see a lot of people trying to engage with the thematic core of the film. Lots of feminists have criticized it for depicting fgm but it goes way deeper than just that. The reviews I have seen seem to take one of two routs: 1) This film is a masterpiece of cinema, a mystery that we will never know the answer to or 2)The film is weird and gross and I don’t like it.

Nature

So what’s the movie about? Well, here’s my interpretation, and I think it makes quite a bit of sense given what the Trier presents us with. I think this film is trying to make a statement about “human nature”, and the nature of men and women. Eve’s road towards insanity begins when she prioritizes her orgasm over her child. That starts a downward spiral of insanity, which culminates in her castrating her husband, and then herself. This demonstrates an inability to reconcile a woman’s sexual desires with her motherly instinct. Also, the famous scene in which Eve becomes “one with the green” is symbolic of her letting her natural instincts take over. What follows is her spiraling into insanity and acting completely irrationally while her husband’s attempts to reason with her fail. So women= irrational and men=rational. And then Adam sees a fox that tells him “chaos reigns”. In the end of the movie, chaos (aka the natural instincts of humans) does end up taking over, as Adam kills Eve by burning her (we’ll come back to that). If all that talk of humans’ biological instincts reminds you a bit of Freud, that’s intentional. The film namedrops him at some point, saying that he has been debunked. However, the film’s narrative seems to be in support of his ideas. Unless of course the whole thing is being sarcastic. We’ll come back to that too.

Witches

During Adam and Eve’s stay in the cabin, Eve is working on a paper on the burning of witches, which she calls “Gynocide”. For context, there are a number of academic writings, most notably Silvia Federici’s “Caliban and The Witch” claiming that the witch hunts were in a way, the beginning of modern misogyny, as they set traditional gender roles in stone by marking everything women did that wasn’t related to breeding and child rearing as immoral and “satanic”. The witch, as a figure in our culture, represents a woman out of line, grotesque, insane, the opposite of what a woman ideally should be. Not only is the witch infertile (old, unattractive and generally disgusting), she also murders babies (see?) and uses their blood in satanic rituals that allow her to fly. The broom is a symbol of domesticity used in a twisted and unnatural way. I think it’s safe to say that, within the contest of “Antichrist”, Eve is the witch. As the name Eve suggests, the character is meant to be an avatar for all women, her witchiness an underlying element of all women. But Trier doesn’t present this in such a one- dimensional fashion.

Eve’s internal struggle

Eve seems to have two sides to her. Her sexuality is demonstrated as contradictory to her motherhood, a contradiction she herself cannot reconcile. She hates herself for putting her sexuality over her child. In fact, the sheer amount of self- hatred leads her to cut her own clitoris. Notably, she says: “The witches deserved to die”. Now, this is where the core of the film’s misogyny lies. Trier is projecting his own misogyny onto the character of Eve. It is men who are unable to reconcile sexuality with motherhood, because they perceive women in general based on their perception of their mother. Preforming fgm on women, is a result of the patriarchy, of man’s desire to castrate women, to remove their sexual pleasure, in order to control them. There never were any witches, men created the concept of the witch, and killed millions of innocent women in the process. Eve’s self hatred doesn’t make sense if we go with this interpretation, as it’s not internalized misogyny. It comes from her, not from male influence. Essentially, Trier absolves himself of misogyny by projecting it onto his female character.

Freud

So, the reason why Freud’s theories are no longer considered legitimate is because they take societal things (such as women's’ desire to escape a misogynistic society by adopting male social roles) and attribute it to “nature” (women have a subconscious desire for a penis in order to sexually subjugate their mother the same way their father does). Freud took social roles for granted and tried to explain them with some bonkers conflict between instincts (id) and society (superego). But humans’ biological instincts are a load of bullshit, as they have are not acknowledged by sociologists and social anthropologists, and there is zero scientific proof for their existence. This narrative is actually pretty dangerous because it leads us to believe that opressive social roals are fundamentally unalterable, a product of nature. 

Conclusion

The film ends with a bunch of modern women walking in the woods after Adam’s burning of Eve. The whole thing is meant to signify that, after Adam and Eve followed their “natural” paths, the modern woman was born. And the critics gasp “Oh my how unbelievably deep and profound”. So, as I have hopefully demonstrated, it is none of the above. Rather, it’s shallow, stupid and dangerous in terms of its messaging. But is Trier trolling everybody and being sarcastic throughout the whole film? He did say he enjoyed seeing people get angry at the film. I did some digging, and fond out that Trier actually wrote the film during a time of depression, while he was struggling with various mental illnesses. That doesn’t seem like a state of mind that produces a sarcastic work for trolling the masses. Also, the filmmaking echoes serious emotion to me.  But hey, I don’t know. In fact, we’ll never know. But I had to say all this, someone had to. We must redeem the witches.

[alphasmoonlit-selfships]

🍃 🐚 ⭐️

Hello mystery anon! Thank you so much for the ask! I forgot as I was writing that that were asks meant to be answered by me for my F/o, but considering my recent f/o takeover by my dearest Atsushi, he answered a few of the asks too! UwU;

"It is a shared blog between us, Darling," Atsushi commented lightly, resting his chin a top the petite brunette, "I'm sure they won't mind at all!" 🥰

"Well let's just jump right into it, shall we?"

🍃:  Do you live together? If not, would you like to? How would you or how do you decorate?

Atsushi: We do live together actually! You can know more about that here in this ask!

Though the second question is new to answer; it was a slow and gradual process to decorate our place after it was entirely cleaned and ready to inhabit. We started with basic things we could afford, the Agency definitely helping us to get a few other things to fill in the space and make it feel more homey. Which we were grateful towards nonetheless!

Even so, I think the decorator between us is Dany, she usually suggests colors and what might fit well with the setting of a certain room in our condo. As well as how the layout should be. Of course, I pitch in my own suggestions that she usually considers and takes full validation of 😄 it definitely helps her figure things out as she often hits a dead end and is left a bit irked when she runs out of ideas 👀

We often buy things at random that might make the condo more homey, be it buying some items for the living room or dining, some plants to make the place more lively, either inside or on the balcony space, or paintings and frames. Which might I add, we have hung some pieces we worked on together!

It was some quality time building when we painted and made a messy, yet nice piece done! I may not be much of an artist, but Dany does know how to boost someone’s confidence when it comes to the subject U///w///U she is very sweet, comforting and patient.

But yeah! We are a bit of a mix of traditional, minimalist, and modern through the home!

🐚:  Which one of you brings the most physical or emotional energy to the relationship? Are there ever times where it’s overwhelming to the other, or are you pretty evenly matched?

Atsushi: I think Dany and I have shared a decent amount of offering each other that physical and emotional and mental energy to our relationship. It varies a lot with what we experience individually, but overall it is evenly match. We have a deep understanding of one another and share a few similarities when it comes to how we think and want to act on our emotions and affections.

I think Dany gives more of the physical energy as she isn’t one to always put things into words as it sounds in her mind. Her affection is warm, sweet, comforting, it’s soothing and brings out any tension I feel personally after a bad day. She often sings and hums to offer a bit of vocal response, or asks questions for me that give me the door to open if I want to talk about something. She doesn't press instantly and allows space for me to figure out what I would like to say.

I do worry that sometimes I may be a bit overwhelming for her; she is rather emphatic and has the tendency to take other’s emotions that often do drain her later on. It..often leads her to be apathetic when she feels her own bad days.

Which leads to the opposite of me, she is more withdrawn from speaking about her struggles and worries. Always giving a lot of herself to me or others that she forgets about herself. That’s where I have slowly began to draw her out of that mindset, I can understand where she comes from in that regard and offer what she usually craves the most; To be listened without being interrupted or bringing up an assumption she hasn’t stated. She use to apologize,,, frequently for how she just kept rambling about some feelings and teared up out of emotion. She still does occasionally, but not as often as before.

We have been through a lot, uncovering old wounds and healing together. Giving each other that reassurance and validation we both crave more than anything. I think that’s a great positive to our relationship, is how well we share a wavelength in our emotions and how we naturally crave physical bliss from each other. It’s a steady and comforting recovery to just cuddle in bed together after a draining day, for either or both of us.

On a positive note, we are very affectionate and sweet together, so a lot of other people tend to say. Sometimes saying how we are wholesome, or adorable together. It is nice and validating to hear. I tend to be more loving in public when given the chance, Dany isn't much into PDA as she doesn't like so many eyes on her. But has gradually learned to not care too much on it. She has gotten more confident in that regard 🥰 especially with surprise kisses U///w///U

I think the first time she ever kisses me a bit...passionately in public was when someone was apparently flirting with me? I didn't have a clue about it if I have to be honest 😅 and I do think her wolf ability may have given her that forward reaction to kiss me. Surprised I was, but not at all opposed to it~ it was so cute to see slowly realize what she did later and how she practically combusted into embarrassment for her forward action. She definitely needed some reassurance and words of encouragement from me 🥰🥰🥰

Needless to say, she is adorable and I love my darling, tiny lover UwU <3

⭐️: Does your FO have any habits that you only noticed after spending a significant amount of time with them? Do they notice any of yours?

Habits eh? Hmm, Atsushi has some peculiar ones that are caused by his tiger ability... I mean so do I, but I'm normally like that since I was a child. 😅 He is like a cat sometimes and it is honestly endearing to witness and very comforting 🥰 he purrs when we cuddle and has these big eyes sometimes when I give him praise and kisses UwU. Sometimes dilated during more... affectionate times~

He also still bares some habits that stem from his time at the orphanage that I never noticed until we started living together. Such as his early sleep and morning wake up schedule. I’m not much of a morning person in the slightest 😅 I can be very irked and tense and need at least an hour to mentally wake myself up as I move about the place. I especially need coffee and some sort of protein with my food to wake me up.

I’m not very lively and may look irritated to a fault 😔 the amount of times I worried mi Tigre at the start because he thought he did something wrong ;;;w;;; of course with time he understood and got use to it and definitely gave me the space to compose myself. He definitely makes it easier to wake up with a few affectionate kisses and preparing breakfast ;;;w;;; I, of course, in the rare times do the same for him, I just have to be up prior to his now 6am wake up 😮‍💨

Hmm.. he also has his bad days, usually when a memory of his past flickers in his mind he kind of shuts down and it leads to nightmares occasionally. They were more frequent earlier on when we moved in together in the dorms and the first few weeks in our new home and have gradually slowed down. But sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night to him gone, immediately picking him out cowering away in a closet. Huddled in a ball and attempting to stifle his tears when I find him..

I was concerned, but not overly as before when he first did this prior to our relationship. Instead I joined him and offered him my comfort to ground him back from his terror and memory. Usually wordless, gentle comfort and letting him cry out all the emotions that twist and pained his heart. Once he calmed a bit, I offered any words of validation and usually pitch the question if he would like to talk about it. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, either or I don’t let up holding him and keeping him steady to present time.

It’s definitely helped a lot, mi pobre tigre… he feels bad sometimes for the disrupt sleep or mental toll it brings me. But I always remind him, gently but stern, that in those moments he is the one that matters and I am not about to abandon him in his time of need.

Maybe it’s because I understand him deeply in that sense, while our lives may not have been the same, we understand the toll our traumatic past takes on us, individually.

Atsushi has definitely been there for me a lot of the time, I have a lot of self doubt and need plenty of reassurance. I’m..overly sensitive too so I don’t like arguing or any rise in anger, it’s hard for me to…really stand up for myself in that regard; hee..to literally not cry because I am trying to make a point…

Ah sorry, about the small downed turn this took; I don’t normally talk about these things. Am trying to get better by talking more about it, especially with mi Tigre who honestly listens when so many … often don’t.

Nonetheless, some more positive, funny/cute habits from the last; Atsushi tends to ramble on about new things he learns and enjoys telling me more about it. I remember he spoke for a whole hour about chameleons, I drew him some cute doodles as he told me more about them. He keeps the image somewhere in his phone. He also rubs his neck or cups his chin a lot when confused, nervous or in deep thought.

He on the other hand has noticed how often I tend to sit on my legs, that I don’t have a single perfect posture no matter where I sit. Could be the most comforting chair or very stiff, hard ones and I still keep my legs up with me. I just can't for the life of me sit still at all, it'd last like less than 5 minutes at most 😅 but he finds it adorable and cute how often I can just curl myself into what looks like an awkward position to others but for me is rather comfy and just how I prefer to sit.

His lap is the most comforting place to sit tho 👀👀

Atsushi: You also have the bad habit of biting your lips, Darling 👀

👀...Noooo... okay yes I do, a lot, like a lot more as of recent,,, And I crack my fingers a lot too...and tap my feet, more so in public out of nervous jitters I think...

Well, that's enough of that~ we greatly appreciate the emoji asks and honestly love doing these kinds of asks 🥺 it gives me so much more of a chance to explore the dynamic and relationship between mi Tigre and I ❤️😍🥰 Leaves me warm and fussy and soft. A melting puddle of silly and foolish love U///w///U...

Please by all mean's don't be shy to send asks or talk with me! I do my best to respond when I can and want to give all my love and support to every self shipper! Till the next asks! Take care!

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: In the End

To bounce off of the previous blog posting, I thought it would be fun to just hop right on into the topic of what happens after we die. After all, we just finished talking about souls and a bit of astral projection last time. From transcending to another place/dimension to reincarnation, there truly is a lot to cover when you start diving into the many beliefs and ideas that surround death and mortality/immortality. But what differentiates the scientific facts from myths and stories of olden days? For those who believe in one defined means to an end for us all, how do you know for a fact that what you believe is true? Have you ever questioned what is life after death? Hell, is there a life after death? Or maybe… it’s something else… something so obscure that our tiny human brains are nowhere near possessing the capabilities to understand it. In the end, readers can decide for themselves what is more likely to be true, or maybe… the answer to this cryptic question has been right in front of us all along? Maybe it is a combination of what we know but do not yet understand. Let’s talk shop, shall we?

Death. Happy for some, a time of joy and celebration for others, but likely a time of sadness and grief for most. Some welcome death with open arms, while yet others fear their mortality. The numerous speculations on what happens after we die is overwhelming. There are far too many ideas and beliefs that people hold in this regard. I’ll briefly cover a few of the more popular beliefs as to not make this blog super lengthy - because, ya know, your attention span and whatnot. 

Scientifically, there are two types of death: clinical death and brain death. Clinical death is characterized by major organ failure (e.g. heart, liver, kidneys, etc.) until the body is completely rendered of functioning and the individual is officially pronounced dead. In brain death, solely the brain stops functioning, but the other organs within the body continue to work within their normal capacities. Creepy fun fact for you: the heart can beat for up to 30 minutes on its own after all brain cells have died. Once the heart stops it’s adios amigo. The remaining major organs that were barely hanging on have now lost blood flow, and life has ended. More creepy death fun facts: the gastrointestinal tract can live on its own for up to 3 days, and the complete decomposition of a body takes roughly 30 years! Crazy science stuff. 

Now let’s take a look at some common beliefs and speculations of what happens when/after we die. Again, I want to remind you, readers, that in my eyes there is no right or wrong answer here. I am a firm believer in everyone having their own beliefs and respect all of them regardless of how obscure some naysayers may think that they are. I enjoy hearing stories from followers that help to further broaden my thought processes. If you ever have an interesting story or want to chime in with your thoughts please feel free to leave a comment here or shoot on over to Instagram and we can rap about it. 

The belief that we transcend to another realm/dimension has been around for thousands of years and has been studied for decades. There is a lot to uncover here between recent scientific discoveries and human belief. Many people believe that many other dimensions exist, however, scientific exploration hasn’t fully found the golden answer to if and what these other dimensions may contain if they do indeed exist. We know that Earth has at least three dimensions: space—length, width, and depth—and one dimension of time. Modern physics posits that there is at least a fourth dimension of space, but that we can’t experience it. Maybe we can? Maybe we do but just haven’t put a label on it? Maybe the odd phenomena that happen across the world that people describe as being ghosts, aliens, and other paranormal activities are actually from the next dimension or another. There has been speculation that extraterrestrials come from another dimension through a portal that is already here on Earth rather than from the sky (outer space). 

Give me an R! Give me an E! Hell, this word is too long and I’m not going to put you through reading a silly cheer for 5 minutes. Reincarnation - yet another commonly held belief of what happens when we die. For those of you who may have never heard of reincarnation, here is the quick and dirty version of the definition. Reincarnation posits that when we die our spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it, moves on to a new host. This host could be a human baby that is born the very second that you die OR you could possibly find yourself reincarnated as an animal, tree, flower, or any other living thing that you can find on Earth. Interesting concept indeed.

My favorite belief, that we go to Heaven or somewhere similar, is one that is believed by millions of people across the world. Wouldn’t it be nice to die and go to another world/place where nothing can do you harm, and just live out the rest of your existence in peace? Well, if you can believe it then it may just happen that way - or maybe not. I am fairly certain I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but religion can be thought of as a coping mechanism for that which we do not know or understand; the human way of putting a label on something to make ourselves feel better or like we are a part of something divine and much greater than us. Which, in all actuality, we very well may be a part of something divine and much greater than us, however, it is my personal opinion that we honestly have no fucking clue about the extent to which that is. 

Now, this next one I threw in here because I personally found it to be interesting. In 2017 I was having a conversation with a friend about mystical things such as portals, extraterrestrials, etc. My friend informed me of a research video on YouTube about a company called CERN. He described this Swiss company as having built a circular-shaped machine that when you throw something into its core it disappears. However, other items have come through this machine and into the room from… wherever the other side is? Basically, these people have created a portal and no one knows about it. You’re welcome for the information. Within this research video, the guy who was describing all of this stuff went on to talk about how China had gifted the statue that sits in front of the CERN building. This particular statue is reported to represent the end of time and hell on Earth. There is a whole mythical background story about this statue - you need to check it out. The irony between the statue and this machine they made is uncanny. It made my jaw drop. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I haven’t been able to find the YouTube video again, so I am not sure if it got taken down because the guy exposed something that was supposed to be secret, or maybe I just suck at YouTube searches. Either way, I encourage you to do some digging on this one, because this type of information could potentially support the whole soul/spirit transcending into another realm/dimension belief. I am not a physicist, so I could be explaining this all wrong. You’ll just have to check out their website for yourself and see what it’s all about. → home.cern

There is also the belief that when we die nothing happens. We are dead and it is the end of who we once were. This belief is often held by Atheists and some Satanists if we’re using labels. However, many people believe this who aren’t subscribed to a religion or don’t want to necessarily put a label on who they are/what they believe. This is the grim reality of our existence. Maybe it all means… nothing… Now isn’t that depressing. 

Then there are near-death experiences, which brings a whole different perspective into the mix. People all over the world have encountered near-death experiences. Many report shockingly similar experiences and stories. Some say they see a white light and follow it to a place of peace. I have heard people say that while they were legally deceased they found themself in a field of flowers or floating within the cosmos. A common theme found within these individuals is that once they have had their near-death experience, they aren’t afraid of death anymore - they welcome it with open arms. One woman on a documentary that I watched even went as far as to say that she didn’t want to come back from where she was and was disappointed when she was revived. These experiences could possibly support the theory of transcending to other dimensions or that there is a “heaven.” I can’t explain it, but I still find the information interesting to ponder upon. 

Our mortality is evident, but what really happens when we die? These are just a short collection of ideas and beliefs that have been around for ages, however, there are many more to consider I’m sure. What do you think? Or should I say: what do you want to believe? Ultimately it’s your choice. Whatever brings you peace, serves you well, and is the right answer for you is what I advise you to turn to. This flesh and blood will decay for each of us one day - it’s inevitable. It is for this very reason why I say live life to the fullest. Regret nothing. Do what best serves you. Do what makes you happy. Take chances. Above all else - be the best version of yourself that makes you happy.

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Weekly Recap | May 25-31st 2020

Black lives matter.

I’ve kept this blog more focused on the fic recs, but over on my Twitter I’ve been retweeting a lot about the protests, petitions you can sign, bail funds you can donate to, things you can read to educate yourself. 

~

Complete

Anagnorsis & Peripeteia by TrekChik/ @trekchik​ (Modern AU, Theatre, Exes to Lovers | 48K | Explicit): Steve shuffles through the theatre resumes and then stops. He looks up into the audience and spies him. “Bucky?” He has the good sense to sound like he didn’t stomp the fuck out of Bucky’s heart three years ago.

your smoking gun's the tip of your tongue by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (Soulmates AU, Vampire Bucky, Werewolf Steve | 9K | Explicit): Steve Rogers is kinder on the eyes than his predecessor, but all Bucky can look at is the gleaming star on his chest. It’s white, spread over nearly all of his right pectoral, the simple design standing raised on sun-kissed skin. Steve looks, acts, and smells like sun and forests, the polar opposite of Bucky. His star is red and on his left side, a mirror to Steve’s. There’s no denying it, their bond, but Bucky would gladly give a limb for that luxury. He's the master of his fate, not a few square centimeters of raised flesh.

The Perfect Game by TrekChik/ @trekchik​ (Modern AU, Baseball | 4,3K | Explicit): Red Sox pitcher Bucky Barnes is having a shitty year. He’s four years into his five-year contract and if he doesn’t get his shit together soon, he’s gonna be traded, he’s certain of it. In just three months of play, his ERA is creeping up towards six, his strikeout count is low, and he hasn’t won a game in his last three starts. To make matters worse, he’s at odds with the team’s catcher, Brock Rumlow.

Win Number Three by TrekChik/ @trekchik​ (Modern AU, PWP | 2,8K | Explicit): After a long day, Steve Rogers just wants to have a beer and watch the ball game. When he comes home to his shared apartment to find a sock on the doorknob, he has to alter his plans. Little does he know those plans include one of his neighbors.

💙  find a way to forgive myself by napricot (Alternate 2012 Timeline | 34K | Teen): As if Steve’s life isn’t already weird enough what with the waking up in the 21st century and fighting aliens thing, his future self’s Time Heist and Reverse Time Heist have left 2012 Steve in a pretty awkward position: not only does he have to pretend to be HYDRA in order to save Bucky, but now he also has to help save the whole damn universe too? Luckily for him, if the first time was tragedy, then the second time around is definitely a hell of a lot closer to farce. (Part 2 of you had your soul with you)

Going Up by Bittersweet_in_Boston (Modern AU, PWP | 3K | Explicit): The elevator car comes to a sudden and complete stop somewhere around the twenty-fourth floor.

WIP

The Mnemosyne Project by onymousann (Post-WS | 7/? | 26K | Explicit): Someone’s trying to talk to the Winter Soldier. Steve intends to find out who. (Part 2 of ocean eyes)

💙 Querencia by SinpaiCasanova (Royalty, ABO AU, Tudor Era | 1/3 | 3K | Explicit): “Oh no, Mother, not another courting ceremony,” Steve protests, a whine slipping into his voice that he’d be rather embarrassed about if anyone other than Sarah ever heard it. “I beg you, no more. I can’t go through that puffed up charade again, being paraded before a dozen worthy Omegas like I’m some prime cut of meat. She probably won’t even like me.” “Well, Steven,” she gently corrects, “she is a he, and the only one you’d be ‘paraded’ in front of.”

A Perfect Prescription by thewaythatwerust/ @thewaythatwerust​ (ABO AU | 7/10 | 36K | Explicit): Or, the one where Bucky needs medical intervention to manage his heat, but when he finds out his doctor is his hot, alpha neighbor Steve, things get a little complicated. Can the detached & clinical, doctor-patient relationship last? (Spoiler alert: no, no it can’t.) 

💙 A Matter of Trust by chicklette/ @chicklette​ (Singer Bucky, Fake relationship | 4/13 | 14K | Explicit): At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top. Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

Re-Read

💙  like heaven stood up in you by napricot (Endgame Fix-It | 10K | Teen): Steve does put the Infinity Stones right back where they belong. He just does a couple other things too. Or: three timelines and a Reverse Time Heist. (Part 1 of you had your soul with you)

[our-time-is-now]

July 2, 2019 - Fidanzato

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on  our blog.

Matteo: *has, together with David, switched from the flatshare to David’s place yesterday, because Laura and Matteo wanted to cook together* *unfortunately, Laura had to cancel last minute, because she forgot about another appointment* *so Matteo has cooked – not the new recipe they had meant to try out, but just pasta alla Luigi* *they have enjoyed the meal and they have moved to the living room afterwards to hang out on the couch* *David has turned on some boring movie and Matteo grumbles* Okay, but I don’t understand… why doesn’t he just tell his father that the key is in the trunk? It’s just insane!

David: *has turned on just any movie after dinner, but is actually too tired to concentrate on the action* *looks from Matteo to the TV and back at Matteo’s question* Huh? The key is in the trunk? *frowns* I thought that blonde dude had taken it… *laughs and looks apologetically at Matteo* Maybe I haven’t really been paying attention… *stretches and yawns* *looks back at Matteo* You can change channels, if you want – I don’t have to watch this. I just put on something…

Matteo: *frowns and is suddenly not so certain anymore himself* The blonde dude has it? *laughs and shrugs* Can be… *stretches out a bit and grabs the remote* *surfs two channels on, when suddenly his phone rings* *gets up, puts the remote down and grabs his phone from the table* Oh, grandma… *thinks for a moment he will not pick up, but realizes he cannot do that to his grandma* *stands up and answers* Ciao nonna…

David: *leans back and gets comfortable while he watches Matteo zap through the channels, when the phone starts ringing* *nods when he hears Matteo’s announcement and takes the remote to turn down the volume – you never know how the connection with Italy is*

Grandma: Ciao, my dear boy! We haven’t spoken in so long. Is everything okay? How are you doing?

Matteo: *looks quickly back to David when he turns down the volume* *steps into the kitchen, so David can watch on without being disturbed* Yeah, sorry, grandma, I wanted to call you so often… but you know how it is… I am doing fine, everything is perfect. And you? *purses his lips for a moment, because he always feels a little bit uneasy when he talks to his grandma, even though he loves her* *doesn’t really know why, whether it is because of his dad or because he isn’t out to her yet, or both*

David: *watches Matteo leave the room, but doesn’t really think a lot of it, except that maybe the connection is indeed bad and Matteo is searching for a better one somewhere else* *speaks barely any Italian anyway and therefore doesn’t think Matteo’s leaving has anything to do with him* *zaps along but cannot find anything cool* *finally sticks with a documentary about South-America and watches that*

Grandma: Yeah, you young people always have such an incredible lot to do and no time to call your grandmothers! I know, I know! Your cousins are just the same! Only Josephina calls regularly... But good to hear, my boy, that you are doing fine. I am also fine, but it’s getting hot here in bella Italia. I feel it gets hotter every year, don’t you agree!? I am busy watering the flowers in my garden every morning and evening, but they are hanging their heads all day nevertheless. It’s even too hot for them! How is your mom doing? Everything okay with her? And has your father contacted you yet?

Matteo: *notices that he has to make an effort, at the start, to understand the Italian properly* *feels then rather relieved, when he doesn’t have to think about it anymore after a while and is happy that his grandmother is talking so much* Yeah, it’s getting warmer every year, grandma… That’s climate change… *swallows then, when she mentions his parents* Mama is doing fine… really good. She would be really glad if you call her some time… *then breathes deeply in and out* And no. He hasn’t. And he shouldn’t. You know that.

Grandma: Yes, yes, climate change – if I’m lucky I won’t have to live through the consequences. Oh, good to hear your mom is doing well! I was thinking about calling her, but I’m not sure if she wants to talk to me. I tried once, shortly after your father moved out, but I felt like I was bothering her. And that’s not what I want. Maybe she thought that that old lady would be just like her son, but no! I don’t approve of what your father has done, you know that, my boy, don’t you? It’s just not right! Leaving a sick wife and son! Maybe I will call her again. Maybe it will be better, now that the divorce is not so fresh anymore. I’ve always liked your mom. Such a sweet woman! She used to help me out a lot, when you were here during the summer. But that your father isn’t contacting you… That’s not how I raised him! I know that you don’t want to talk to him. But he doesn’t know that! He should make an effort! He could at least apologize. He could be a man and look after his child! Does he even know that you have graduated!? That’s such a big step in your life! A father should know such things! But he hasn’t even contacted me recently. The last time I heard from him was three months ago! He is probably afraid I will scold him…

Matteo: *can’t help but laugh softly, when he hears his grandma talk, and notices he does really miss her* Oh, grandma… Mama will definitely be happy to hear from you… And about my father, I really don’t know… maybe mama has told him about my graduation, but if she didn’t, then he wouldn’t know…. *has been walking around and sits down at the counter* I know you don’t like to hear it, but I really don’t want to talk about him… What’s up over there, then?

Grandma: Yes, I will call your mama! This week, promised! I know you don’t want to talk about him. He has let you down. And not only you! Me too! And your mom! I haven’t yet given up hope, that he will come to his senses at some point. And if that happens it would be good if you were talking to him. But you are right, my boy… as long as he behaves like he is doing now, we don’t have to talk about him… What’s up? What’s up? We have a new ice cream parlour in town! It’s horrible! They are offering a scoop for 50 cents and everybody is buying it, but you know what, my boy? It tastes like water! And Luigi’s ice cream parlour – you know that one, don’t you? It’s been in the family for years… And I will put my hand in the fire for them, his ice cream is home made and with the best ingredients and fresh fruit – And Luigi has to lower his prices now, so that not everybody will go to the competitors… It’s terrible! Everybody is looking only at the price and not at the quality… And your cousins Mario and Philippo are coming to visit during the summer – Mario has moved to Verona and Philippo to Milano, but you know that, of course… but that’s why we aren’t seeing each other so often anymore… but I told them: The important things is to come in summer! Every summer! It’s tradition! Traditions have to be honoured! The tradition of your family has been disturbed by your father – but no, I know, we don’t want to talk about him! But nevertheless, it always was so nice to have you here! You can come alone, can’t you, this year, Matteo, my boy? Or with your mama? Or with your girlfriend… Visit your old grandma and let’s repair the tradition!

Matteo: *just swallows, when she talks about his father again, and decides to let it pass without comment* *can’t help but laugh again when she talks about the ice cream parlour* Oh, yes, Luigi’s ice cream is the best I ever had! *exaggerates a little, but thinks it’s cute his grandma is getting so excited about it* *wonders briefly, when he has talked to Mario and Philippo for the last time, and can’t really remember* *suddenly realizes with a burning feeling that he has seen a picture of the two of them in Verona on Instagram – that means, they are following each other on Instagram and he suddenly gets a bit nauseous when he thinks about what pictures they might have seen from him, then* Yeah, I saw that on Instagram, grandma… *then feels the funny feeling in his stomach is only getting worse, when his grandma mentions his potential girlfriend* Grandma, I don’t have a girlfriend… and it would be nice if you wouldn’t wait for that…

Grandma: Yeah, you know what’s good! Luigi’s ice cream is not something you can get on every street corner. One should be able to spend a euro for something like that! Instagram, Instagram… That’s something on your phones, isn’t it? Something like that Facebook. Some modern nonsense… We used to write letters and call each other. Nowadays people write each other these emails and send pictures on Facebook and Instagram, but they don’t really talk with each other anymore. I asked Mario if he could send me a picture of his girlfriend. He asked me if I have this thing on my phone… or if I have an email address. I said no! I mean t a picture! In a letter. And he said he doesn’t have any on paper! Just on his phone and his laptop! Can you imagine? Don’t the young people of today hang up any pictures of their loved ones in their rooms anymore?! Everybody is only ever looking to their phone… I’m not waiting for you to get a girlfriend – I’m just asking. One day you’ll have one. You are such a sweet, good-looking boy. You’ll find one soon. You’re 18. Just wait a while… But you can come without a girlfriend too… this year! And then next year maybe with your girlfriend. I miss you, my boy. It’s been three years since we saw each other… you have to come visit again!

Matteo: *would normally laugh about his grandmother talking so cliché-like about modern nonsense* *but can only think about how he will never have a girlfriend, how disappointed his grandmother will be* *shakes his head silently* I would like to come visit you… *breathes in deeply and looks in the direction of the living room* *thinks about David and how he is lying there waiting for him, about David’s smile and then briefly about how his lips taste, when they kiss* *swallows shortly* But not with a girlfriend… never with a girlfriend, grandma, because I will never have one. *inhales deeply* Because I have a boyfriend. *emphasizes the o in ‘fidanzato’ extra, so she will understand*

Grandma: Oh, I am so happy you want to come! This summer?! Matteo? What do you mean, never with a girlfriend? Of course, you will bring a girlfr… Oh... fidanzato... … fidanzato... Matteo, my boy, never say never. It is probably just a phase. He is a nice boy, I’m sure, but... you’ll find a girlfriend too. When you’re here, I can introduce you to Maria’s granddaughter… A truly beautiful girl, I swear! You’ll like her, I am certain of it…

Matteo: *holds his breath when she repeats the word twice* *then feels how everything inside him pulls together at her answer* *swallows heavily and feels his eyes burn* *says, a bit too softly* No, grandma. *then hears something about a Maria and says more determinedly* No, grandma! *has to swallow twice, before he can speak again* I don’t want any Maria and not any other girl either. And it’s not a phase. *breathes audibly and then says* I think I’d better hang up… My boyfriend is waiting.

Grandma: *doesn’t let Matteo interrupt her at first, but is then silent, when Matteo becomes more determined* *speaks only again when he says he wants to hang up* No, don’t hang up, my boy. Talk to me, please! This is something we can talk about. I mean, what is so great and wonderful about your boyfriend, that a girl couldn’t offer you too?! You’re only 18… You don’t have to decide just yet…

Matteo: *closes his eyes briefly, when his grandma doesn’t understand at all what it is about* *can’t even really be upset with her, since she has probably never before in her life met a gay man* *but has simply no energy right now to explain it to her* *says therefore simply* I’m gay, grandma. That is not a decision, it just is the way it is. *swallows* Stay safe, grandma. *hangs up and drops his head onto his arms*

David: *has watched the documentary with some fragments of Italian in the background and notices now that it’s been quiet for a while behind him* *feels actually also a bit thirsty and decides to go to the fridge and check on the way there whether Matteo is done with his phone call* *enters the kitchen and sees Matteo at the counter, sitting on the bar stool, his head on his arms, the phone in front of him* *doesn’t see Matteo’s face and can’t determine in what mood he is* *goes towards him, caresses his back once and gives a kiss on his hair* And? Everything okay? *goes over to the cabinet and gets two glasses*

Matteo: *startles a little at David’s touch and then looks up* *wants to pull David closer, but he’s already near the cabinet* *shakes he head at David’s question* No… *stretches out his arms towards David and pulls him closer* *puts his arms around David’s hips and leans against him* *inhales and then says* I came out just now. *swallows and sighs* She thinks it’s just a phase and I’ll find a girl one day…

David: *looks immediately worriedly at Matteo when he answers negatively to his question and is at his side in two steps, when Matteo stretches out his arms* *embraces him and pulls him closer* *is just about to ask what is wrong when Matteo tells him already* *murmurs just a surprised „Oh“ when Matteo tells about coming out* *holds Matteo tighter with his next words and sighs lightly* Oh, man, I’m sorry... *hasn’t really talked a lot with Matteo about his grandmother and really only knows that he used to spend the summer with her and loves her incredibly much* *can imagine, based on these facts, how disappointed Matteo must be about his grandmother’s reaction* *wants to comfort him somehow, but doesn’t really know how* *says uncertainly* Maybe... she just needs a little bit of time, to get to terms with it? Or is she so conservative she really can’t handle it? *caresses Matteo’s back and kisses his temple in consolation*

Matteo: *inhales deeply and smells David* *notices how that calms him immediately and relaxes him a bit* *only nods when David says he’s sorry* *shrugs* Yeah… she is an old-fashioned Italian woman after all… Don’t even know if she has, in all her life, ever seen a gay guy… *sighs lightly* I mean, of course, it’s disappointing for her… She probably imagined it all so beautifully, that I would come to Italy with my young, pretty, blonde girlfriend and she could show us off... *swallows and moves a bit, so he can look at David* *shrugs again* But that’s too bad for her, then.

David: *grimaces slightly when Matteo tells his grandmother is old-fashioned* *finds it then really hard to guess if she will at one point accept the fact that her grandson is gay* *presses his lips together when Matteo talks about the ideas his grandmother might have had, and for a moment he finds it hard not to feel it personally, but then he shakes of the silly feeling, because Matteo’s grandmother doesn’t even know him and can’t judge whether she likes him or not, and secondly, because this is about Matteo and not about him* *catches Matteo’s gaze and smiles at his words* *swipes the hair out of his eyes and says* But you are disappointed and that is somehow sad too… maybe you can talk with her again? Maybe she really needs a bit of time and you can clear up the whole issue in your next call… *stays close to Matteo but loosens his grip enough to pour them both some ice tea and offer Matteo a glass* What else did she say? Did you talk the whole time about this one theme or have you also discussed other stuff? *pulls a bar stool closer and sits down, because he has the feeling they will talk about this for a while* *takes a drink and grabs Matteo’s hand*

Matteo: *grimaces when David says he feels sad and shrugs* I can’t just call her and pretend nothing has happened… it’s her decision now, she can either accept it or not… *grabs the glass and drinks quite a bit* *grabs David’s hand almost blindly, when the latter sits down* No, we also talked about mama… and about my father, of course, and my cousins… family stuff, you know… she wants me to come visit her - she probably doesn’t want that anymore now...

David: *shakes his head* You shouldn’t pretend nothing happened… You should talk about it once more… I mean, not immediately, but maybe a couple of days from now… If she’s really that typically Italian, then maybe she’s not just conservative, but also stubborn, right? Or is that too much of a cliché? Because if she’s really stubborn, she probably won’t start about it again… *sighs softly* *thinks it would be painful and sad, if this really would lead to a break between Matteo and his grandma* *listens to the other stuff they talked about and nods slowly* *has a few questions and wonders which ones he should ask* *then finally asks* What’s her opinion on your father? Or about your mom? She’s your grandmother on your father’s side, right?

Matteo: *has to laugh, when David brings forth the Italian clichés, which are not far off* *nods* Yeah, pretty stubborn... *thinks it is somehow typically David, to try to turn everything in a positive way* *nods at his question* Yeah, that’s right… and she likes my mom, the two of them have always gotten along pretty well… and she doesn’t approve about how he has handled things… she says she hasn’t raised him like that… *shrugs again and sighs* It’s her decision… all of it… you know? It’s not something I can change… Its not like I made a mistake and promise to do better… Either she accepts it or not. *thinks it might maybe just be the case that his father’s family might not ever be his family too*

David: *listens to Matteo and strokes a bit absentmindedly with his thumb over the back of Matteo’s hand, before he entwines their fingers* *grins slightly when Matteo tells him how his grandmother thinks about his father* That’s something then… She also could have defended him. So at least on that subject she seems to be rather cool… *nods then to his next words and squeezes his hand* *murmurs* I know... *sighs softly and shakes his head lightly* You know, in my experience, really, people need time. And I can’t estimate how it is for your grandmother, but I can tell you that sometimes it is really worth it to give the people you care about a bit of time… *watches him pointedly – because the two of them are somehow experts in giving each other time when it’s needed – and then continues* You’ve known for a while that you’re gay. But you also needed time to accept it and be completely certain. I think we can’t expect people, and especially the elder generations, to immediately and automatically be cool with everything. If she was really looking forward to you standing at her door with a girlfriend at some point, then you have just disturbed basically her whole idea of the future. Maybe she needs a few days to build a new idea… *sighs again* … or maybe not. I don’t want to give you hope, I just don’t want you to give up immediately. You’ve always given me time… maybe… maybe you can try to do the same for her? *is a little bit shy, because he’s been talking for so long, and he doesn’t actually know whether Matteo even wants him to get involved* *grabs his ice tea, to take a sip*

Matteo: *watches David while he is talking* *smiles just a tiny bit when David references the two of them* *becomes serious again* *knows that David is right* *knows that it is logical what David is saying* *also knows however that this feeling won’t go away* *this feeling that it is not fair that things have to be like this, that he has to give people time to accept something that should be completely irrelevant* *or maybe not irrelevant, but not all-determining either* *wonders why it has to be so important and why his grandmother can’t just love him, regardless of who he is in love with* *knows it is possible, because he has seen it in others* *but also knows that David is right, and that the world simply doesn’t work like that yet* *sighs softly and can’t really capture all of that in words* You are right… she needs time and who knows what will happen… but… but somehow everything feels shitty right now… why does it have to be such a big issue?

David: *puts his ice tea back on the counter and looks at Matteo* *sees how he is thinking things through and waits* *smiles a bit sadly at his words* *shrugs and even laughs a bit* Yeah, you are right! It’s completely shitty… but we can’t change anything about it anyway. We just have to be happy about all of those for whom it’s not a big issue… *leans towards him and gives him a short but passionate kiss* *swipes through his hair and then  looks at him earnestly* Just wait. Maybe she’ll contact you. And if she doesn’t, then you can try again… and then we’ll talk again, okay? *leans back a little and asks* And she invited you to Italy? Would you like to go?

Matteo: *shrugs a bit frustrated* Right... *kisses David back and smiles when he swipes through his hair* *nods* Yes, let’s see… *doesn’t know yet, whether he will call her again, if she doesn’t contact him* *nods and shrugs again* Yeah, at first… maybe, but only if it’s with you… and not, like, not as some sort of statement or something… *shakes his head lightly* Anyway, that’s off the table now, I assume.

David: *nods at Matteo’s words* *is rather happy that Matteo would want to go to Italy with him, but can also understand, he would want to feel welcome* *shrugs when Matteo says it’s off the table now* We’ll see… *doesn’t really know Matteo’s grandmother, but can imagine Matteo means a lot to her, and thinks it speaks for her that she’s not defending her son, but seems to be standing behind Matteo and his mom* *takes another sip and smiles softly* If you like, the two of us could go to Italy just like that too… you could show me everything… I mean, some day, when we have money… *somehow like the idea that he and Matteo will go on a holiday together one day, just the two of them, even though he is looking forward to the vacation with the rest of their friends*

Matteo: *nods lightly and takes another sip* *smiles when David proposes to go to Italy* Yes, I’d love to… when we have some money… just rent a car and drive away… *grins at him and leans towards him to give him a kiss* *has a wholesome feeling in his stomach now and thinks he wouldn’t have found a way out of the miserable feeling so easily without David* *he would have buried himself and surrendered to the emotion, but now he likes that he didn’t even mind being pulled out of it* *says softly* Thanks… for being there.

David: *beams when Matteo agrees to go somewhere together and nods* Okay, we’ll save up for it then! *smiles softly* *leans into Matteo and answers his kiss* *sighs, because he has the feeling Matteo is doing a bit better* *wishes nevertheless that somehow everything will turn out great for him* *raises his eyebrow briefly, when Matteo thanks him, because he actually thinks it’s only natural to be there for him, but smiles and says softly* You’re welcome… *is happy that he finally seems to be able to give something back to Matteo, who is always there for him too* *puts his hand in Matteo’s neck and pulls him close again for a short kiss* *then laughs softly* That’s what couples do, isn’t it? Be there for each other… or so I heard… *grins lightly*

Matteo: *smiles when David just accepts the thank you* *enjoys kissing him again* *laughs then too at his words* Yeah, I heard that too… We’re doing pretty fine, I think… *punches Davis lightly and grins* Do you want to go back to the living room and find out if they have found that stupid key yet?

David: *nods enthusiastically, when Matteo says they’re doing pretty fine and laughs again* Better than fine! We are the best! *punches back and wonders for a moment what key Matteo is talking about* *grins then and shakes his head* I don’t care where the key is. That movie was stupid… let’s see if we can find something better… Netflix, maybe? *gets up and pulls Matteo by the hand off his bar stool to come with him*

(next play)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #401

“my love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses”

Do you typically do your makeup the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? IF I wear makeup, it's essentially always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Yesterday with Mom. We were trying to find the best deal on Eco Earth, a substrate we're getting for Venus. What was the last really good book you read, and what was it about? If we're talking REALLY good book, then The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. In short summary, it's a dystopian future novel where women are now basically just objects used only for repopulation, even having their names stripped from them. They follow very strict rules as society has returned to horrible misogyny. As a woman, the "oh my god, this is possible" aspect of it is terrifying, and it causes such a sense of disgust and urge to ensure women rights always continue to be fought for. Do you feel safe in your country? For the most part, I'd say. I guess. There are places I'd feel safer, though. How many meals do you eat a day? Three. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No, but I was supposed to my senior year in high school; the seniors at my dance studio were always welcome to do a solo in celebration. Mine was a modern dance to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, wanting to tell a story about depression and how being medicated could feel, but I eventually decided like halfway through learning the choreography that I was just too nervous to do a solo. Have you ever sung a solo? No. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Do you own a designer purse? Definitely not. I'm not wasting that much money on something like that. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Apparently, Jason and I had a baby in high school even though I was obviously never pregnant. To my knowledge, it was started by his ex. Who is now a good friend of mine lmaooo. Life is funny. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? Pokemon, of course. Would you ever have an affair? Nope. Would you ever have a one night stand? Nope. Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Legalize it, but treat it similarly to alcohol in that driving under the influence is illegal and punishable, and I believe you should be of a certain age. How about abortion? I am pro-choice. I was pro-life most of my own life, but now I am very firm about a mother being able to choose if she wants to endure a pregnancy or not. Like, that is a MASSIVE life event that almost inevitably changes - and sometimes traumatizes - people. I do believe a fetus is its own body and not part of the mother's, but rather in the mother's, but the belief that a woman decides what she wants in her body is her choice, too. I'm not very fond of people treating abortion as a simple, regular form of birth control, like it's nothing but an "lol whoops," but I still believe it is ultimately her decision, and she should always be free of judgment for doing what is best for her. Do you wear skirts or dresses more often? Neither. I wouldn't dare wear a skirt more so, though. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? There should always be an expected minimum, imo, unless the person was truly, sincerely, genuinely fucking awful. Waiters do not have an easy job, fight me about it, and they're just trying to survive while putting on a happy, jovial face, all the while dealing with hungry people who can be such assholes. I believe the actual tip should relate to actual service, but again, give them something. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? One, absolutely. The other would take a shitload of consideration and proper communication on his part. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No, because I don't like coffee. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? IF I had a job, I'd like to build a friendship with those I have to engage with almost every day. What is something you frequently forget? Dates, ages, names, what I was about to do five seconds before I forgot... Pretty much everything. My memory is frightfully poor. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In my bed. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Both; my parents split when I was somewhere around 17, though, but I'd say there wasn't much more "raising" to do at that age. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, why? No. Have you ever plagiarized someone else's work? Hell no. What's your most-used mode of transportation? My mom's car. Have you ever taught someone else a useful skill? Not to my recollection. Does seeing everyone else's 'perfect lives' posted on social media ever bring you down or affect how you feel about yourself? It actually does, honestly. Not ALWAYS, but if I'm being honest, it does most of the time. I've contemplated deleting Facebook for that reason, but with is also comes things that make me happy, and I think I'd feel even more isolated without it. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? This is SO impossible for me to answer. I loooove Hostess and Little Debbie treats. I want to say honeybuns, but I also love those chocolate cupcakes with the white swirls on top, as well as Twinkies. Very few exist that I don't like. Do you/your family buy loafs from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? We just buy bagged bread. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? My APAP mask is definitively WORKING!!!!! :') Mom got an app that connects to the machine via Bluetooth that monitors the effectiveness of the mask, evaluating many factors of your sleep, and it's detecting a definite decrease in disruptive behaviors or something like that. It is so, SO encouraging to know that. ^And, the worst? Hm. Oh, probably some news on something serious a good friend is going through, but I don't feel it's my right to disclose what. It's just a very worrying and potentially dangerous issue that I wish I could help her with. Would you rather receive (or give) flowers, chocolates or jewelry? I'd appreciate any, but my fat ass is drawn to the chocolate, ha ha. What *I* would give would vary depending on what the person liked. How do you feel about coconut? Smells lovely, but is otherwise gross. ^ Ever cracked one open? No, but omg I've always wanted to, haha. What’s the best thing about being your gender? I guess the fact it's more "normal" and "accepted" to show our emotions. Fuck that generalization, though. I don't give a shit what your gender is, you experiencing emotions is NORMAL and welcomed to be expressed. ^ And the worst thing? The ability to be raped and impregnated by it. Do you do your part to save the earth? I don't do nearly enough. :/ We recycle, but that's about it. Well, none of us DARE to litter either, but I still don't feel like it's as much as the earth deserves from its denizens. Who do you think should have their portrait on a bill? I don't know or care. Why did you last feel exhausted? Yesterday was my niece's birthday, and I spent essentially ALL day playing with her and her brother. I have a very limited battery when it comes to kids, and I was running on empty for hours. My anxiety was SO high and I really needed a break from them, but they're too young to really understand that Aunt Britt can only socially run for so long before I'm completely burnt out, and TRUST ME, I was there for sure. I didn't want them to think they did something wrong, you know? I just had to keep going. I slept like a baby last night though for sure, haha. Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? Wow, no. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? No. Who did you last worry about and why? Sara for health reasons. Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Not actively, but Mom and I definitely want to move. We feel very out-of-place here in the suburbs. Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? Mountains. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes. I canNOT play games with a trackpad. Do you apologize a lot? Extremely excessively. When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? In that case, probably the venue. Being a photography buff, I want a place I think is really pretty to have pictures taken. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting, my weight, and being hot. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Nope, and that's fine with me. I'd rather stay inside away from the heat. Who usually makes dinner in your household? My ma. Do you have a blog? Just on Tumblr. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mother does because of gerd, and at least when my father still lived with us, he snored super loud, too. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah, a few people. What shows do you watch? Right now, only Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Whenever The Edge of Sleep comes out, I will 110% be watching that, too, because Mark is a key actor in it. :') Plus the concept seems super cool. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Me mum. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? No, given it has like... one lyric, haha. Do you own any TV show soundtracks? No. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? I mean I guess sign myself in at the doctor's. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? Oh my god, there's a candid one I got of Mom laughing when she was posing as my subject for a photography assignment, and I cherish it with ALL my heart. I want to share it with essentially the whole world, but yeah, I'm not gonna put my mom's picture here. As for my dad, I like this one I took of us at Red Lobster for his birthday a year or two back. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? Regular. What US state would you like to visit? Alaska. Last meal you made yourself? I put a chicken pesto thing in the microwave earlier for dinner.

[cstormsinukagblog]

Fast Food Thief

A/N I do not own Inuyasha or any characters. This is not an original idea. I read a post a while back and the idea popped into my head to do it Inukag style. The idea is here. This is a modern day Inukag au. I hope you enjoy. I needed a pick-me-up. Have a good Saturday!

Tags for people who have requested it:  @akitokihojo @alannada @mamabearcat @Cammysanstuff @eternalnight8806-3 @feudalpriestess98 @hinezumi @Juliatheanimelover7 @keichanz @littlemissinukag @noviceotakus-blog @petri808 @shinidamachu @Stuckinthewrongworld @witchygirl99 @xfangheartx

This day was going to suck. Her coffee pot was broken, so she was going to have to stop somewhere. She goes to get dressed to go to work, and apparently the dry cleaners failed to get the ink stain out of her favorite blouse. She stomps her feet like a young child throwing a tantrum. But it did relieve some of the irritation. She selects another outfit, gets dressed in a hurry, then rushes out the door. She parks on the street and heads into the cafe on the way and realizes too late the line was too long. She tries to wait it out, but is definitely going to be late. She gives up after the line seems to have barely moved after ten minutes. She is almost there and actually it doesn’t seem like she is going to be late until she hears sirens. She pulls over diligently and sees fire trucks zoom past her and stop a little ways ahead of her. Traffic is not at a standstill. She was only 18 minutes late, and it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed. She sunk into her desk just in time for her boss to yell her name. She jumps up, and he is glaring at her. 

“Yes, Mr. Naraku?” Her voice is still slightly out of breath, which is exacerbated by her nerves.

His glare almost seems to get worse, “in my office, please.”

Her head sinks as she nods in response, then follows him to his office. He motions for her to sit in the chair across from his desk and she barely sits on the edge of the seat, terrified of what he wants.

“You need to stop making it such a habit to waltz in late, Miss Higurashi. Why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t fire you?”

Her eyes went wide and she could feel tears welling, which she struggles to blink back. Her voice comes out in a rush, “Mr. Naraku, this is only the second time I’ve been late in a year. I am so sorry, but I am always on time. It’s just been a very bad morning. There was a fire in an apartment building and traffic wasn’t moving.” 

Her head sinks to her chest, and she misses the evil smile spread across his face. Her heart is pounding and she can’t breathe.

His voice comes out with a greasy quality, “Very well. Do not be late again. If you do, we will have to let you go. You already have 2 write-ups. I should give you your third today. But I’m feeling generous. Perhaps after work you can come talk to me about getting those write-ups removed. I’m sure we can work something out.”

She can feel his eyes travel up and down her body and she represses a shiver. “If I have time after work, I will come back, Mr. Naraku.” She is hoping so hard that he won’t know she’s lying. She knows exactly what he wants, and she would rather lose her job than do what she’s sure he’s insinuating.

She works through her first break, only stopping to run to the restroom. She had to avoid any chance to be alone with him. She didn’t want to lose this job, but she would have to start job hunting tonight. Her lunch couldn’t come soon enough. Her stomach was grumbling. She went to the breakroom to grab her lunch from the fridge to find it gone. This day seriously couldn’t get any worse.

She leaves to try to run to the fast-food restaurant down the street, but she’s only halfway there and she knows she’s never gonna have time. She stops into a little corner store and grabs a pop and a bag of chips and runs back, barely making it in time. Before she sits, she sees Mr. Naraku glance at his watch and give her a look as if to say, “cutting it close.”

She slumps at her desk and sets her head down for a moment. This day is terrible. After a few seconds she calms her breathing and sits back up getting back to work. She opens her bag of chips and starts snacking between typing. The rest of the day seems to be uneventful, and she is so relieved by that. She sees Mr. Naraku staring at her as she finishes closing up things for the day. Once she shuts down her computer and cleans up her station, she clocks out, and pretends to get a phone call.

As she walks by his office, she tries to look guilty and apologize, “I’m sorry, Mr. Naraku. It’s my mom. She needs me to come help her. I’ll be on time tomorrow, I promise.”

He sneers in irritation, “If not you might as well not come in at all Miss Higurashi.”

She nods and looks down as she walks out of the office doors, then she practically sprints to her car. Her stomach is cramping from not having any real food all day. She stops in at the drive thru for the WacDonald’s on the way home. She tried to order her usual, but apparently there was an issue and they had a recall on their chicken patties. As she is sitting there debating on what to order the car behind her honks.

This is definitely the last straw. She glances back in the rearview window and she can see white hair and dog ears on a very handsome face, sitting in a convertible.

Fuck him. She places her order and drives forward to wait her turn to get to the pay window. She debates for a minute, then remembers a post on something similar. She’s usually not so mean, but this has been enough. When she gets to the window, she tells the cashier she wants to pay for the order for the car behind her, but she needs a receipt for both orders. The young kid smiles and mutters something like, “that’s nice of you.” Which she tries not to laugh at. What she is planning is not nice at all.

As she pulls up to the food window, she tells the person that she has 2 orders and shows both receipts. She gets her order and his. Pulls up a bit, flips him off and drives away. Fuck that guy!

~~~~~~~

Inuyasha is in a hurry. As usual. His day hasn’t been bad, but he needs a fucking vacation. Not that he couldn’t take one. Hell, he could take a 3 month hiatus and still be fine. But he needed to work. If he didn’t work, he thought too much. So he worked about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. He liked to be kept busy. He pulled into the WacDonald’s and was irritated to see so many cars in the drive thru. He could go in, it would probably be faster, but fuck that. He didn’t want to get out of his car. So he pulled in behind this purple sedan. He needed to get home. He had shit to do.

After a couple minutes, the cars hadn’t moved nearly as fast as they needed to. When the purple sedan finally got to the mic to order, the dumb bitch took forever. He could feel a growl rumbling in his chest and he honked his horn at her. He could see her glare at him in her rearview mirror, but at least it made her put in her stupid order. He pulled up and put in his order, quick and easy.

He pulled back up behind her at the pay window and saw her and the cashier send a look back at him. Was she really telling on him? What is this elementary school? He let out a “keh” and waited to pull up to pay. When he pulled up to the pay window, he had cash ready, but the cashier looked at him and seemed all lovey dovey.

“The lady in front of you paid for your food.”

His hand dropped. Wow, he was an asshole. He honked at her because she wasn’t ordering fast enough for him, and she decided to be nice in retaliation. Damn, what a classy lady. Here he was calling her a bitch in his mind, and she was definitely nicer than he had expected.

He saw her get two bags of food. No wonder it had taken her so long, she was ordering for a group. He really was an asshole. He pulls up to the window and says quite calmly what his order was, and the cashier looks confused.

“The lady in the purple sedan just paid for it for me.”

The cashier’s mouth drops, “Umm… She paid for 2 orders and showed me the receipt. She took both orders.”

Inuyasha’s mouth drops open. She wasn’t classy, but damn was she fucking brilliant. He pulled out and jumped on the road, following the purple sedan. She drove to a local park and went and sat under a pavilion. He held back a bit so she wouldn’t know he had followed her.

As soon as she slumps down on a bench, he jumps out of his car and stomps over to her.

“Hey, Bitch! You fucking stole my food!”

She looks up, absolutely shocked, and slightly terrified. 

“That was my fucking order at the WacDonald’s. Now give me my fucking food!”

She seems to recoup quickly and snaps back at him, “Excuse me, but you didn’t pay for anything, that is your problem. I paid for food and I get to have the food. Your loss, loser.”

He growls low at the word loser and fights to keep his anger in check. “Bitch, that isn’t fucking fair. You paid before I got there. But I ordered the fucking food and you will give it to me.”

She just glares at him, “You should have gotten back in line at the drive thru. It’s not my problem. Sometimes mistakes are made. I placed an order, paid for food. And got all the food I paid for. Maybe if you weren’t such a jerk, you wouldn't have these problems. But no, you have no patience, like the 2 minutes I spent putting my order in slowed you down so damn much. How much time have you wasted following me all the way to the park and now yelling at me. You could have got back in line, ordered your food and been on your way. So you weren’t in a hurry, you were just being rude. You deserve it. Besides, you didn’t pay for it so I didn’t steal it. I bought it.”

She stands up and walks back to her car carrying both bags of food, “Now I’m going home. If you follow me there, I’ll be forced to call the police.”

He growls at her, then stops mid growl and bursts out laughing. Everything she had said was completely true. He could have been home sitting on his soft comfy couch, and eating trash food, but here he was yelling at a stranger. For food he hadn’t even paid for.

She seems more afraid of his laughter than his growling. “You’re right. I was an asshole. But I have to bow down to the bigger asshole. You, wench, are a much bigger asshole than I am. I cannot compete. Now, if I pay you for my food, will you give me the damn bag?”

She seems to contemplate it for a minute, then nods. “On one condition. You cannot ever honk at someone in a drive thru again. I need to know you at least learned your lesson.”

He smirks at her and he feels his fang peek out. “Yeah, alright. I won’t honk in drive thrus anymore. What an important lesson. I am so glad you taught me right from wrong.”

He pulls out the money he had for his order and she trades him for the bag. After he turns to walk back to his car, he can detect a change in her scent. He turns back to see her entire body deflate as she sinks back onto the bench. Then the scent of tears hits him. Fuck he wasn’t that much of an asshole was he?

He rushes back, “Hey. What the hell, wench?”

She sucks in a breath and tries to compose herself as he stops next to her. She clears her throat and mumbles a “What?” in response, and for some reason her tears are killing him.

“Was I that much of an asshole? What did I do to make ya cry?”

She shakes her head in response. “It wasn’t you. Just go. Just take your stupid food and go.”

He drops the bag on the ground at her feet and sits down next to her. “Yeah, I don’t think so. What happened to the spunky woman who just let me have it? I’ve never been so intimidated by a human before. Now you’re gonna let my opinion of ya fade so quickly?”

She growls pretty impressively for a human, “What the fuck should I care about your opinion of me? I don’t even know you, you jerk!”

He doesn’t know why, but he instinctively wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into him. He hears her gasp against him. Fuck, what was wrong with him? He is practically molesting some woman he doesn’t even know! Then her head turns into his chest and her arms come up around his back. He can feel her tears through his shirt, and his heart is breaking slightly. This strong, smart, and wonderful woman is in his arms sobbing, and grabbing his shirt like her life depended on it. He holds her until her sobbing stops. He doesn’t say anything about it, and just sits holding her until she pulls away.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know you. That was definitely terrible of me. Please forgive me.”

He cuts her off, by gently placing his hand against her cheek being careful of his claws, “Are ya better now?”

She nods slowly and gives him a watery smile. “Yes, thank you. For everything.”

He nods back and his smirk returns, “Anytime. M’name’s Inuyasha. Maybe we can do this again sometime. Maybe even without all the yelling, and rude names.”

She snickers in response then nods again, “My name is Kagome.”

He shakes his head at her, “Nah, I like Wench better.”

Her smile disappears, “You are such a jerk! Why are you still here?”

He feels his smirk spread, “I can’t resist a Wench in Distress.”

She rolls her eyes, and the smile comes back. “You know what, I think I’ve dated too many jerks. I think I will have to say no to getting together another time.”

“Keh, dating. Aren’t we presumptuous?” Her mouth drops open, and she resembles the cutest carp he’d ever seen. “I mean we barely know each other and you already want to date me. I know I’m a catch, but damn wench. Slow down.”

“My name is Kagome. Ka-Go-Me! Get it right.” She stands up and stomps over to her car and climbs in, slamming the door. He glances down and sees her bag of food and proceeds to grab it, dangling it in front of himself so she can easily see it and he can hear her frustrated scream from inside of her car. He can’t stop himself from opening the bag and stealing one of her fries. Now her frustrated scream has become an angry growl. He pulls out a pen and writes something on the bag. He walks over to her car and puts the bag on the hood of her car. Climbs in his car and speeds off. She’ll call. He absolutely knows it.

She gets out of her car and grabs her bag. His writing is a lot neater than she expected.

Ok Ka-Go-Me Call me Inuyasha and his number.

She was definitely going to have to call him...