#it's mostly always the same pattern of result

[ryllen]

He will never get it next time or anytime,

but in my arms he will be my favorite loser woooo~~

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 05/03✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

@roseville140 ha chiesto Love your art so much 💗 💜 💖 💕 ❤️ 💓 💗 💜 💖 💕 ❤️ Also question ask this a few times(sorry): What will mk do? Will he make them immortal or be next to them till their last breath?

I don't think he would force them of make them immortal without their consent. He is too good for that

@blossomships ha chiesto: Okay, first ask, but hey, what the heck! Your art is awesome, and the story, It went from "Oh, this boy might be our son" to "omg he's our son and let's fixed our relationship" that's what I think about this in a nutshell lmao and it's crazy how far it has come. So thank you for your contribution to gay monkies- I mean to the fandom, and you are awesome.

Aww thank you!

@anidiotkid ha chiesto: What's going to happen when the comic ends? Do you have any more big projects in mind?

I have other life things to focus on, the ISAT comic, but also I want to share here all the art that I've made in the past 2 years that I never posted on Tumblr

@yuistarlmk ha chiesto: I don't think I'm ready for it to end but i knew this would happen so thank you soooo much for all the stuff you have done for all of us, making us believe in ourselves and more so I'm happy for being a HUGE fan of you. Thank you ⭐⭐

THANK YOUU!!

@jamcyote ha chiesto: Not really a question but... I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought that it would be a cool idea if the writers made it so that chaos energy/ magic is a perfect mixture of Shadow and what I like to call physical magic (which is what Wu kon has) Slight rant. Chaos magic I don't think is as chaotic as people think. Chaos is more like not seeing or understanding the pattern of something, but everything has a rhyme or reason chaos magic is just rare so people don't know how it works and it probably works very differently than other magic and doesn't have an easy to see pattern (when people don't understand how things work, they become afraid of it). Therefore it's chaos. Chaos tends to have a bad rap but it is not always bad. It just needs to be understood and once it's understood it's no longer "chaos" and is instead another form of magic (that is most likely more powerful than the other forms), but magic itself isn't good or bad it's the person wielding it that makes it One way or the other.

I'll also share my own thoughts about it: I know the whole "Harbinger" thing doesn't mean that he brings chaos, but the connection between that kind of energy and MK for me it always has been "cool, he is a SYMBOL of chaos" like, he's a big ass chaos flag that, once born, has been flying screaming at everyone "HEY YALL! IT'S CHAOS TIME SOON!". Like, the chaos that is coming is literally the primordial chaos that will come once the cycle end because from it must start a new one. But it would make sense that, since there seems to be a whole ass society of people in the chaos realm, that he would at the very least be one of them, like when you are sending someone from your country as an ambassador to give a message

@lordmushroomkat ha chiesto: Ohhh he's never tried to use Wukong and Macaque's powers at the same time before, has he? Ohhhhhhh my stars

nope.

@steadylandface ha chiesto: What’s Nüwa’s reaction to what has completely happened so far in your Shadowpeach Bio parents Au?

She still is dissapointed by MK choice to not end the cycle, so she hasn't been so present. I would suspect she's surprised mostly for the fact that all of this resulted in the biggest un-divorce of the millenia

@candlefox1 ha chiesto: Hi so I hope it’s not too much to ask but I thought mei was also part immortal as well since her great grandfather the dragon of the east was a dragon so doesn’t that make her part immoral or could she visit her dragon relatives to ask ??

She can live longer than a normal human, and, if she only stays as a spiritual dragon, she could, theoretically, live even longer. But not forever.

@primroseprime2019 ha chiesto: You just loooove hurting me with the immortal bit, don'tcha?

yes. Becaue it hurts me too.

@emmabuggy ha chiesto: Are pigs, and tang scared that Mk only will have the monkeys as parents to guide him?

I mean, he has a bunch of people immortal that will also help him.

@injuvanillafruit ha chiesto: Do the monkie trio like bubbles? 🥰🥰

I guess Macaque and MK do. But Wukong doesn't really like anything with water too much.

@vinnillastrawberry ha chiesto: So since you confirmed their will be a dance party I wonder, How many chapters will the dance party be maybe like 4 or 5 ?

3.

@xaelanyx ha chiesto: hello!!!! I love your comic so much. when will you draw another spicy scene for spicynoodles and shadowpeach???

Not soon, the story is ending.

@roseltelle ha chiesto: Do they celebrate the day he was adopted by pigsy and tang as his birthday? I would assume so since they wouldn't know when his stone was cracked.

Yes, since it's also the same day when his stone hatched.

@shadowlilly101 ha chiesto: How did Macaque and Princess Iron Fan meet and become sworn siblings?

They knew each other from the brotherhood, but then bonded over having lost their housbands

@vevebcu ha chiesto: Can I make a fanart with my OC inside your comic? 🥺👉👈

yes

@atrocity101 ha chiesto: Hi! Sorry if I am bothering you in any way, shape, or form by messaging you, but I wanted to ask an important question. I have tried several times to research the details in how demons go about the rules of courting their chosen mate and what they can or not do beforehand or afterwards. You seem like one of the more detailed people to ask for info, could you possibly provide any details of the whole demon courting rules and such? Or provide a link to anywhere that’ll help me understand the logistics of it? (PS: I am in love with your AU and I adore every bit of it, thank you for all the hard work you put into it and please continue it! Have a wonderful day/night, and stay safe out there.)

It's mostly a fan-made thing. I don't have many resources except fanfictions that explain it more in details, like this one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56963272

@ava115 ha chiesto: Is Redson in your au immortal like Mk? Or can he just live long sense he's a demon?

He's not exactly immortal, but can live an absurd long time.

@thenerdycupcake ha chiesto: I just realized something. Since MK can hear the past, that means he can hear his loved ones�� voices whenever he wants. No matter how much time has passed.

yes, similar to watching videos of your loved ones.

@alixzanrite ha chiesto: I thought that Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy were stuck in a reincarnation cycle because of Journey to the west? And if not wouldn't Mk be able to see them in heaven?

*sighs* I'm in no way qualified to talk about those religions, but technically if they are reincarnations of the old gang, they could be stuck in reincarnation still and might be reincarnated in the future again, bu they wont be the same people of course. If they reached buddahood they could stay in heaven. I think

@s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e ha chiesto: okay newest chapter was devastating. BUT. WUkong shirtless and Mac wearing his husband's pyjamas?????? (also Wukong spooning Mac when he originally allowed Mac to be the big spoon so he'd maintain control over the situation but now Mac trusts Wukong enough to give up that control???)

technically they were facing each other, and Mac had his arm over Wukong waist, but sweet nonetheless

@kiwi-kiwidraws ha chiesto: More heart break till the very end, right Kyri?

yes

@fresastar ha chiesto: just have to say is Will mk and wukong have a talk about everything that will happen from mk becoming immortal because wukongs friends later on dies naturally and wukong may have been sad and devastated about it, So maybe wukong can tell mk how to handle this realization or he tries to help because again he lived his whole life seeing his family go on and his friends leave and dies. sorry if this is much, you don't have to answer this😅

Yes, they will talk about it, but that's more a future conversation.

@worddraws ha chiesto: Wait so is MK immortal in the until the heat death of the universe way, in the immortal immortal way, or in the there’s no heat death of the universe and the earth exists forever way? I wish to know how angsty him being immortal is

He is "there’s no heat death of the universe and the earth exists forever way" immortal, but he's NOT INVINCIBLE! He is still capable to being killed.

@angelikis1 ha chiesto: HI!! 😁 I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR COMICS!! also i have a question: are we ever gonna see any of MK's clones?

Eh, not for now.

@5hiny5tar-ceph ha chiesto: Heyyyyy!!!! So! I've really liked this last ep (almost made me cry ngl-) But- Shouldn't Pigsy and Tang spend more time with Xiaotian know that they know that he's immortal, and have more moments as a family, instead of doing that cooking activity with Wukong and Mac (like, I get why but still- (no offense))? Or do they just make this activity when Xiaotian is not around (Maybe hanging out with Mei or Red Son I dunno-)?

MK was with Mei when they did this.

@purplemango26 ha chiesto: Random question, but this popped up into my head a few seconds ago. Since you know and watch Lego Monkid Kid and even have an amazing au of it, I'm curious. Do you also know/watch Ninjago? Considering the whole thing with the switch of animation for Lego Monkie Kid from Flying Bark to Wild Brain who just happened to animate Ninjago, I want to know if you have at any point watched the series and or movie. By the way, huge thanks for all that you've done for feeding the LMK community. You are my top 1 provider of Shadowpeach content so I hope that you'll stay nice and healthy in the long run 💜 It's amazing how consistent you are when staying on schedule!

I watched Ninjago when I was a kid, but like only up to the 6th season (yes, I know, I'm very much behind). I also saw the movie

@roonotrue ha chiesto: Hi, Kyri!! This is my first ask on your blog, but I was just curious, with your ShadowPeach Bio Parents AU, what are your height headcanons for all the characters?? I've been trying to find some to use as reference for some of my own Ao3 fanfics/what everyone generally seems to agree on, and I figured since you're literally my favorite lmk artist, I'd ask for your headcanons!! (Idk if maybe you've answered something like this before, so feel free to ignore it you have, lol) Okie, thank you for your time, and I love your art a lot, and I'm super excited for the next update, okay byeeeee-

I'm not gonna list all the character, just the main ones, also I'm using the international metric scale because I'm a normal human being.

Macaque: 180cm

Wukong: 175cm

MK: 166cm

Mei: 172cm

Red Son (glamoured): 179cm

Red Son (True Form): 205cm

Tang: 178cm

Pigsy: 140cm

@peanut-with-wifi-access ha chiesto: Would you be okay with people writing their own sequels/continuations of the shadowpeach bio parent au when it eventually ends?

yeah sure, as long as you credit me and the au

@alastair-1205 ha chiesto: SOBBING OMFG but I also have a question lol. What exactly did MK mean when he asked Nezha to "check his aura"? As in like see if he's immortal or something else? I'm just a bit confused lol

yes it was for his immortality

@roseltelle ha chiesto: I'm curious in a universe where Wukong raised Mk when would macaque have met mk?

there are several fics exploring this concept, like A Son of Two Dads or Squished Apricots. Some of them consider that Macaque knew from almost the beginning, in others Macaque discover it after they met in the show.

@internet-grab-my-tumblr ha chiesto: So i have a baby monkie OC, but I’ve never been able to decide how to start it…if I were to, I’m, use your AU as a springboard (after all this nonsense Nuwa decides to give the monkies an apology gift in the form of a child they can actually raise together), would this be okay? It would you prefer any fics inspired by your work leave out OCs?

you can use your OC as long as you credit the AU part you want to use in your story.

@lagt-trinket-box ha chiesto: Sorry to bother But are you gonna create a thread of all the redraws of the art event road from parenthood? Just asking because I am curious to see more people redraws!

I’ll try to reblog as many as I can!

@twilight-bai-he ha chiesto: Is mei gonna be the maid of honor for spicynoodles wedding 🥰🥰? High chance she will be 🐉

of course!

@shay-bug ha chiesto: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but would it be possible if you could make car stickers for your shadowpeach bio parents au? You don't have too I just thought it would be cool since I got a new car Also, I thought I read a while back that you said after shadowpeach bio parents au comic you were might make a sonadow comic? Is that true, or did I make it up in my head? Even if you changed your plans, I'm sure the next comic you make is going to be wonderful! I love you work! Sending lost of kudos! Also, at this point, I think the shadowpeach bio parents au is a graphic novel, lol.

unfortunately RedBubble doesn’t have the option for car decals….

@darker-moon ha chiesto: are panel compilations allowed in the new shadowpeach bio-parents takeover?? i have zero talent and zero time to do anything else :'D

up to 10 panels yes.

@shadowlilly101 ha chiesto: So was she going to put mk into the piller or was she saying that if wukong had gotten mk he would have died

that if Wukong would have found it in one way or the other also heaven would have noticed.

@domo-fan1 ha chiesto: I love that Wukong acknowledges that whole yes they were happy in the past, it wasn't exactly healthy. And when they met again after years, they weren't happy but it was more healthy just because they weren't holding back their thoughts as much. True, it was mostly negative but honestly is nice. But!! As they move forward as a couple, they have to leave the past behind as it's nice but it's riddled with problems of the variety and that the future should be better. Also I feel like they'll be that sickening sweet couple every now and then, before returning to typically them. But their sweet moments are just so random that just makes everyone around facepalm. I mean we already saw them do that when they free fall in the sky to kiss. If MK follows in their footsteps, Redson is gonna have speed run in adjusting lol.

poor redson he’s going to print a tshirt that says “do not interrupt him, or else” since MK is never gonna let him go and will remain climbed to his man 24/7

@straightally2001 ha chiesto: I'm confused though. Wasn't MK a kid, not a baby, when he ended up at Pigsy's Noodles? Also, I love your Shadowpeach Bio Parents au comic series! You are one of my favorite artists ever Kyri! If you are open to suggestions, I have an idea for an au you can make after you complete this one. How about an au where Macaque was never brought back to life by LBD and was instead reincarnated. Obviously with the ships Shadowpeach, Spicynoodles, and Freenoodles

he is around 3 years old, he looks much smaller because Guanyin is wayy taller than a normal human being.

also I’m 70% sure I read a fic about that.

@raspberrymixin ha chiesto: O k we've got kai in the fray of spicy noodles child but what about Nya? His sister? I have an idea for her to me like Mei's adoptive child? And them growing up be be close as siblings? Cuz you know nya is the water ninja and Mei's family blood line are Chinese water dragons - just a thought- It's okay if you don't answer

yes Nya is Mei child and the two of them are so close that they consider themself siblings, much like MK and Mei.

@green000moth ha chiesto: Do You plan to do more spicy scenes in Shadowpeach biologic parents au?

nope

@lordmushroomkat ha chiesto: I'm a spicynoodles shipper now and I blame you <3

good

@fanficmaniatic ha chiesto: I mean this in the best possible way but the way you draw Macaque makes me want to hit him rEALLY hard in the facee with a commically large harmer. It activates my cute agression in the worst possible way I need to smash his head. I undertand JTTW Wukong on a molecular level. It wasnt a fight, It was cute agression.

when I draw Macaque I get hit by a comically large hammer because In realise I will never get a man like him.

@shadowlilly101 ha chiesto: He can hear and see the past and show others?

yesss

@king-ryuusei ha chiesto: okay. So first off, i LOVE this serie. Always excited for every chapter drop ! Your art is amazing, love what you did. now on to my question : how does Chaos energy does exactly in your au ? (Went on the lmk wiki and the lack of explication of what it dies exacly is criminal) so could you explain to us what exactly it does ? Pretty Please ? (PS: i know i said it once but i love the comic. Can’t believe we're almost at the end. Hope you have a great day/night. Byeeee!)

i’ll redirect you to THIS post

[aggresivemenace]

Physical consequences of sex with primarchs pt 2

Bruises: Ferrus, Guilliman, Dorn, Angron, Mortarion

Many Primarchs fall into this category. You see, they are big boys and possess immense physical strength...

Ferrus is the second strongest among his brothers. Working as a blacksmith often involves heavy and rough labour. His hands can be a bit rough, so he might not even notice that he’s gripping your flesh in his cool hands a bit harder than necessary. During intimacy with you, he finally feels truly needed, so at times, he allows himself to give in to his rare emotions.

Something similar happens with Guilliman. He sometimes gets so absorbed in his endless work that he realizes he needs a distraction—and that’s when his devoted wife comes to his aid. To break free and feel like a living being rather than a calculator, he might take you right at his workplace or against the nearest wall. Naturally, in the heat of passion, he will greedily grasp your thighs, leaving bruises from his fingers.

Dorn enjoys working while satisfying you at the same time. If a task doesn’t require much mental effort, he might sit you naked on his lap and caress you. His touches include grasping your thighs and waist, kneading your soft, warm, feminine flesh, sometimes leaving small marks in the form of red stains. Of course it's while his cock is buried balls deep inside your sweet tight hole.

With Angron… it’s complicated. He agrees to have sex only in exceptional cases - when he is completely sure that he won’t cause you any discomfort. Every intimacy is a challenge for him, but at the same time, it's a rare way for him to experience physical pleasure. Sometimes, it becomes so intense that Angron fails to hold back, and his hands leave bruises on your skin. Of course, he feels terrible when he sees them darken on your body.

You are Mortarion's first woman. Intimacy is still new to him, and on top of that, his nature (Big E) has gifted him with incredible sensitivity to touch and arousal. As a result, his orgasms are unbelievably intense, driving him to the brink of madness, and he doesn’t always manage to control himself during them.

None/Other: Magnus, Vulkan, Lorgar

Magnus is one of the most gentle Primarchs. He uses the soft power of touches and caresses, preferring to hold you tenderly in his massive hands. He pays great attention to foreplay, fully understanding how delicate and sensitive you are when the moment of penetration comes - knowing that any careless movement could cause you pain. In the most passionate moments, he prefers to express his desire through kisses.

Vulkan is the strongest of his brothers. Yet, he is also the most attentive and careful with you. Being one of the largest Primarchs, second in size only to Magnus and Ferrus, he has to be extremely careful with you. But he finds incredible pleasure in the way you arch into his almost weightless touches. He doesn’t need to use even a fraction of his strength to make you scream his name.

Lorgar will definitely adorn your body with runes of prosperity and fertility before making love to you. These intricate patterns on your skin arouse him immensely.

Corvus might scratch you a little, mostly along your sides, on your chest, and on your thighs.

Bonus/elaboration:

Horus will love impregnating you. The way you smell during ovulation and when you’re carrying his child drives him wild, and your feminine, curvy, and plump appearance during pregnancy is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Another significant reason for this is that you are his wife, and he truly desires a family and children with you.

Alpharius and Omegon will mark you in different ways. Alpharius will often leave hickeys, while Omegon will leave bites. In this way, they make it clear that you belong to both of them.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request a yandere concept for Pyramid Head (DBD)?

Sure, I haven't done much for him! He's a bit... complicated but here's what I have. Not really Yandere, mostly just dark, but again idk how to describe it.

Yandere! Pyramid Head (DBD) Concept

Pairing: Dubious

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Sadism, Torture, Obvious Violence, Imprisonment, Dark themes, Blood, Disturbing descriptions, Death mention, Touchy behavior, Dubious intentions.

Pyramid Head is a being of torment, judgment, and pain.

It's hard to think of him feeling anything else.

He's an executioner given a new purpose by The Entity.

That's about as much lore as we get.

He'd meant to be an unyielding force, one hellbent on passing painful judgment.

Your first few encounters, and probably the majority of the obsession, will result in pain.

However, in a realm where you're consistently sent to your death, that isn't really new.

Pyramid Head's intentions are impossible to read.

No one knows his motives.

Which means his intentions with his obsession are unknown too.

It's hard to tell since most matches end with you dead in some way.

The executioner is ruthless.

Be you wrapped in barbed wire, sent to a piercing cage to maul your flesh... or even sliced by that large blade before being placed on a hook...

Most of your encounters have you shivering... Your mind is always replaying those final moments of your flesh being torn from you....

Blood is a common sight when you encounter the executioner.

The crimson liquid clings to him with every kill.

What's worse for you? You're always saved for last.

Sometimes you are spared... most of the time you're merely put through your own special hell.

You can probably tell you are a favorite of some kind...

But it's hard to tell if that's a good or bad thing.

You're used to the pain and blood.

What you aren't used to... is Pyramid Head changing his pattern.

You always viewed Pyramid Head as some monotonous drone to The Entity.

Yet when he goes out of his way to prolong the chase, to toy with you, to occasionally give mercy...

You realize that this being has some sort of sentience.

What's even worse is it still doesn't explain its favoritism towards you.

There's times Pyramid Head abandons chase, or just "stares", or even ignores you.

There's other times he just won't leave you alone!

That's the scariest trait of Pyramid Head towards you.

His unpredictability.

Another thing you can't read is him targeting survivors around you first.

On a generator? He's picking off the guy next to you before you.

It could be jealousy... or something else entirely.

Regardless of his actions, you don't trust him.

He switches behavior too quickly... like he isn't sure how to act around you.

It's anything from slaughtering you to cornering you to pin you down.

He isn't sure what makes you react more.

Do you react more to pain...? Or pleasure...?

Another question... which one does he like more?

Pyramid Head is experimenting with you.

That's one of the reasons he acts so unstable.

He can't tell what way he likes to watch you squirm, just what is the difference if you squirm from affection or pain?

Sometimes he makes you squirm by exploring you with his touches, rough yet oddly affectionate.

He studies how you writhe before him...

But he also does the same thing with pain, not seeing any difference.

He only knows that he likes it.

Your best bet is to keep your distance, to evade him.

But no survivor is perfect... especially with a killer who seems to have studied your every move.

In fact, your attempt to evade him only makes him worse.

He seems to get irritated, hunting down other survivors to take his rage out on them.

By the time he finds you, saving you for last, he's covered in blood.

And you scream a lot more for evading him.

Pyramid Head is confusing due to what he is.

He's meant to be a being to punish people.

Yet he sees you, and isn't sure how to react.

He should harm you, punish you, torment you...

But he also wants to keep you away from other survivors, to lock you away, to keep you out of harm....

Pleasure and punishment blur a line with him.

Affection quickly becomes harm when he puts his hands on you.

It's all a personal hell for you.

Conflicting emotions leads to an indecisive yandere...

Which only seems to cause everyone more harm... just as The Entity likes it.

[fizziepopangel]

Stolas Going to Therapy

Stolas going to therapy headcanons because I know we all need these right now (Stolas included)

Despite having had them since Octavia tried to bring them to him, Stolas wouldn’t actually start taking his meds again, not seeing the point since he mostly took the pills so he could be the best version of the father she needed.

After what happened with Octavia, Stolas would resort to plucking his feathers. It’s self destructive and he knows that, but its a form of self harm he’s always used so its an easy pattern to slip into again.

Therapy would be Blitz’s idea. Having started to work on his own shit finally, and slowly but surely feeling better, he wants Stolas to have that same sort of “getting better” feeling.

He’d think about it for a while, but Blitz wouldn’t bring up the idea of therapy until he noticed the feather plucking. Stolas would reject the idea multiple times before agreeing to talk to someone.

Stolas would feel awkward seeing someone in this sense. He was a Goetia after all, demon royalty of his status wouldn’t show weakness by going to some sort of crazy person doctor…. This would result in him going only because Blitz wants him to, but not really opening up at first.

He would also struggle to find a therapist who was a good fit for him, and would switch providers a few times before feeling comfortable with them.

The first thing he would really talk about would be Octavia. It would start by simply saying he missed her, but the session would end in tears as he talked about worrying if she was really being taken care of by his ex wife.

He would get back on his meds after a few sessions.

The meds would help but having been off them for a bit, he'd still have some pretty low days. Blitz would be very attentive on those days despite not fully knowing how to help.

Blitz and Loona would both keep track of Stolas’ meds and remind him to take them on time.

Stolas would journal. It wouldn’t necessarily be something he does because of therapy or for his sessions, but he would occasionally bring it since he often kept notes of nightmares he had. Most of his nightmares revolving around past abuse at the hands of Stella, or his current situation.

Stella came up a lot in therapy.

Blitz comes up in a lot of sessions too; the good, the bad, and the ugly of the his involvement in Stolas’ life. 

He would spend a lot of time in his sessions learning about boundaries and learning how and when to set them for himself. It’s uncharted territory, but he does try to set them and stand firm on them when he does.

His sessions often had tears somewhere along the way. Not all were because he was sad, which he wasn’t used to.

Although Blitz suggested Stolas see a therapist, it would be Stolas’ idea to bring Blitz into a few sessions so that they could talk about their relationship (past, present, and future) in a controlled setting.

Bringing Blitz into his sessions wouldn’t be a true couples session, but it would give Stolas the idea that if they plan to be together, they should take down the information of a couples counselor just in case.

He would also take the number of a family therapist for himself and Octavia. He figures that if she ever wants to let him in, therapy would help them mend their relationship. 

Stolas would likely be on his medications for a lifetime, but he would get to a place where he didn’t need a therapist weekly, though he does keep the number. Just in case.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi, I wasn't that anon but I have a PhD in music history and these responses to that Spotify post (much as I don't understand why that was sent to you) are hurting me. All I'm going to say is that if you're responding with "why is it always black people?" please take a history of popular music class if you genuinely do not understand why it is black people who get the focus when it comes to POPULAR MUSIC. (to be clear, this in this sense does not mean just "pop," but any genre that is not classical music or traditional folk music - so, rock, country, metal, R&B, hip hop, jazz all fall here, too)

Anon's whole point was that this is not a typical "minority representation" discussion, but one where the minority in question has always been dominant in this particular art form, in these particular genres, including being the majority in some of the ones Tumblr as a whole (maybe not the readership here specifically) really likes. You can't just import what you'd say about representation in any other medium. "Great black popular music artists" is not like, say, "great black filmmakers," it's more like "great female romance novelists." I don't even have to go out of my way to include black artists when I teach about American or British popular music, the way I do somewhat when I'm teaching about classical music. Yes, even from eras where the US popular music industry did their best to segregate them - you still had black artists who were influential and popular enough that they had lots of white audiences. Louis Armstrong and Nat King Cole come to mind.

I agree that just looking at people's Spotify Wrapped is not the greatest metric - as you said, what if someone was just listening to songs on there by a few artists. I use my Spotify mostly for playlists for my college classes I teach, so this particular year I was teaching a lot of Japanese popular music courses, and so they ended up being disproportionately Japanese. (I still had some black artists I was listening to in other contexts, though.) So my results tend to be odd and not very representative of their point. But I think I agree with the general point of why Black Tumblr users do this. Regardless, when people are responding to this with the same old discourse they use for every other discussion like this with something where black people (or whichever group) are UNDERrepresented, then they need to know that they missed the central point.

--

I get it, but truly, the number of weird nerds who don't listen to popular music from the Anglophone world in any kind of normal pattern is really, really high, and the amount that people get attacked even when it doesn't make sense is also very high. I know you and others are like "Well, we weren't talking about you", but when it comes to getting yelled at, they're quite right in thinking it is about them. That is how this nonsense always plays out, and it isn't necessarily black users spearheading it either.

This is US centrism wank boiling over, among other factors. The number of fans from outside the anglophone world coming at fandom from an all Asian media all the time place was high on my tumblr even during the years when I was completely out of Asian media fandoms. Now that I'm back in an Asian media phase, it's even higher. And that's just one cultural group that's going to be pissed about this kind of topic.

A couple of people have made stupidass comments, including about rap (quelle surprise), but the anger at being expected to know or care who Kendrick Lamar et al. are is not surprising.

Nobody should be looking at spotify wrapped this way in the first place.

In fact, nobody should be looking at spotify wrapped this year at all.

The real conversation should be about firing programmers and replacing them with incompetent AI.

[wiingdings]

Can you show me an Mlp au?

i'm just gonna take this as an excuse talk about my mlp au destinyswap

during the mane six simultaneous cutie mark event and twilight sparkle's magic meltdown, she sees into the future and involuntarily casts starswirl's spell (the one from magical mystery cure that switches everyone's destinies)

this spell ripples across equestria and changes the mane 6's destinies the same moment they receive them so it goes unnoticed. the mane 6 all settle into their new lives except for twilight, who always has a sense that she's forgotten something important. she can just barely recall starswirl's spell like a fading dream and tries to look for any clues she can about it, resulting in her being even more reclusive than normal and celestia sending her to ponyville before the events of the pilot.

when she meets the other mane 6, the "bad feeling" gets really, really bad, and she becomes unsettled and paranoid, especially around the mane 6, and mostly stays shut in her library. her encounters with the mane 6 do give her a feeling about what to research, though... she combs her collection for anything having to do with cutie marks and pony destinies.

everyone else seems to have settled into their new roles pretty well, though?

fluttershy is still very shy, but she's very good with kids, and lives with the cakes as pound and pumpkin's nurse/babysitter but takes other jobs as well. all the foals in ponyville adore her, and she is more comfortable being herself around young ponies than adults, who are scary.

applejack lives in manehattan with her aunt and uncle orange as a popular fashion who gives out free blankets and coats for charities, but frequently visits ponyville to check on her family. she can use her hooves to sense gemstones in the ground, and integrates them into her designs.

rarity's magic developed very late, and when it did, it took a while for ponies to realize that instead of unicorn magic, she had pegasus magic. she had to train herself to use her horn to control her magic, but once she did, she joined the ponyville weather team. she is fanciful and loves making patterns in the sky - ponyville always praises rarity for a particularly striking sunset or when cloudgazing is especially entertaining.

the pie family had worked with the apple family for a while, so when pinkie pie discovered her talent for baking, she moved to ponyville and was hired on by the apples to fill applejack's role, and uses the apples produced by the farm to make lovely homemade treats! the apple family stand always has freshly-baked confections now, and a friendly but slightly intimidating pink workhorse running about with big mac and apple bloom.

rainbow dash lives on the edge of town in a cottage. she is a pegasus, but nopony has ever seen her fly since crash-landing in the forest during a race. she is still capable of flight, although weakened, but prefers to keep her hooves on the ground - that's where the animals that stayed with her and helped her after her crash are, anyway. she is timid and particularly afraid of confrontation, but ponyville regards her as their best veterinarian and animal expert.

and twilight sparkle... she's the princess's student from canterlot. the new unicorn that never leaves her library. her assistant, spike the dragon, stays near the door and gives you your books from the window. if you see twilight out and about on a quick errand or grocery run, don't approach her... she's timid and aggressive, like a wild animal, and will glare at you while she trots in the opposite direction.

sometimes the princess herself comes to visit the library. she's the only one allowed inside.

(some misc destinyswap art)

[sagistrology]

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨

(these interpretations are kept general)

♍︎ it's essential (though uncomfortable) to break out of the habit of constantly ‘perfecting’ everything you do. the standards and expectations you place on yourself are often so high that they become unattainable, trapping you in a mindset of always needing to do better while being ‘frozen’.

♍︎ the same applies to the tendency to be overly sacrificial for others. sometimes, you enable people to use you as a resource because you make yourself available as such. if this leaves you feeling drained, even the ‘purest’ act of service isn’t beneficial - especially not for you.

♍︎ understand that it’s not your responsibility to save, heal, or ‘fix’ others. you can't cure someone else's dysfunction. don’t waste your energy on people who consistently overstep boundaries. behavior is (mostly) intentional, so use your natural analytical skills to recognize harmful patterns and remove yourself from situations that don’t serve you.

♍︎ you don’t have to suffer and endure to know you’ve done enough. sometimes efforts are 'fruitless,' but that doesn’t take away from the physical, emotional, or mental effort you invested.

♍︎ virgo ascendant: beautiful & glowing skin, mesmerizing and curious eyes, ‘gazelle-like’ elegance, organized and attentive, moving with grace and precision.

♍︎ being a mercurial sign, virgo and 6th house placements need mental stimulation (esp. mercuries), as well as a structured approach to avoid becoming overwhelmed by excessive stimuli. pay attention to your surroundings and keep them neat and organized, as they can directly reflect your mental state.

♍︎ the same applies to your body: take time to cultivate a routine that makes you feel good about yourself. if possible, invest in products that feel good on your skin and try to exercise regularly. pay attention to your nutrition (especially if you have your moon, mars, or venus in virgo or the 6th house).

♍︎ virgo mercury or mercury in the 6th house natives tend to have scattered thoughts that need to be organized in a comprehensive way. having an "external mind," such as journaling or recording oneself, can help keep track of the continuous stream of thoughts. these practices can be highly beneficial.

♍︎ interested in humanitarian or nurturing professions - often found in health care. feeling the need to help and be of service to others. (yes, you deserve financial compensation for your work.)

♍︎ esp. virgo mars can develop obsessive routines - having precise structures that need to be followed (e.g. paying a lot of attention to exercise and nutrition) / can be applied to other planets and their respective themes.

♍︎ mars in earth signs (capricorn, taurus, virgo) approach action with strategy and logic. their decisions are calculated, always weighing effort against outcome. if something seems unfeasible or unrewarding, they simply won’t start. although their motivations differ, they share a stubborn determination once committed to a goal.

♍︎ those with strong virgo influences frequently experience digestive issues and sensitivities, feeling fluctuations in their gut when affected physically, mentally, and emotionally (esp. moons).

♍︎ 6h moons; their care is often taken for granted, resulting in negative responses once withdrawn - since there's a tendency for people to feel entitled to their compassion.

♍︎ deep connection and love for animals, drawn to nature.

♍︎ in synastry, a 6h emphasis can manifest as being aware of the 'mundane' needs a partner or friend has, paying attention and showing love through being considerate by "studying" them.

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to a meta post that was not supposed to exist, but I fucking love answering questions, so here we are.

i got an ask (the answer contains a tl;dr) about why I think Crowley has unstable relationship patterns, and the following will be a detailed look at why this is the case, how Aziraphale plays into it, and what it ultimately means for the two of them.

This won't be as unhinged as my usual analyses, so consider this a special edition of Alex's unhinged meta corner - now hinged.

As always, please remember that this is my personal interpretation—not a generalization—and that genuine questions are welcome, either here on the post or in my inbox!

Everything I will say is based on research I have done, books & studies, and many, many conversations with my therapist (and at points my psychiatrist too); just so you know I'm not making shit up as I go.

Now, in the context of trauma-related/based disorders, what exactly does it mean to have unstable relationship patterns, and how does it apply to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship?

Canonically, heaven does not care about what Aziraphale is doing and they are not keeping an eye on him. We know this both from references in the script and their dialogue and what we see throughout the show as a whole. That "fear" of being found out should he openly commit to Crowley is, for the most part, self-fabricated.

Yes, hell would potentially punish him (that potentially is another long post), but that is not something Aziraphale gets to take and use against Crowley, and the fact that does it anyway to 'prove' that he is not behaving incorrectly is a big issue.

What that leaves them with is a very common and well-known relationship pattern that requires a lot of self-awareness, control, and work to break it.

Aziraphale and Crowley get closer, spend more time together, their relationship grows and the intimacy increases, resulting in their behaviour changing to reflect that. They go on more romantic-coded dates (e.g. 1827, whatever the fuck 1941 was), eat together more frequently, drink together and feel comfortable enough to get drunk drunk while in each other's company—which always carries the inherent risk of doing something 'forbidden' while their impulse control is lowered.

I think the second episode of season one is actually a great example for all of this. When they drive to Tadfield, there's a mutually respectful conversation, they tease each other, they bicker like an old married couple, and don't fall into blaming the other for the situation they're in. At the manor, they are openly flirting from the start, laughing about the paintball guns and blowing kisses to miracle away stains, and the wall slam scene honestly speaks for itself.

I wrote a detailed analysis of it right here, which contains the conclusion that the entire interaction was intentional and orchestrated by the two of them.

They are doing great, they're comfortable, intimate—both physically and emotionally—and their sides are already on their asses about the apocalypse, so why not commit to the relationship?

Because Aziraphale gets scared, scared of intimacy, scared of what it would mean for his life, scared of what it would force him to confront (his faith, mostly, which is another gigantic topic), scared of the changes it would bring to their relationship, scared of breaking out of the pattern they have been moving in since the very beginning.

So he pushes, hard. He insults and denies and hurts Crowley to get as far away from all of that as possible. Push & pull, no matter when, no matter why, it's always the same.

At this point you might be thinking Alex, this is all on Aziraphale, how is this also Crowley's unstable relationship pattern? The answer to that question can be roughly summarized in one sentence:

He does not punish or discourage Aziraphale's behaviour.

There are NEVER lasting—if any—negative consequences for Aziraphale when he forces them into the push/pull dynamic, when he insults him, denies their relationship, calls him evil, you name it. No matter what Aziraphale does, Crowley always forgives and forgets and comes back to him, essentially resetting their loop. That way there cannot be any progress because they're not moving a single inch in either direction that isn't carefully organized and controlled by Aziraphale.

Why does Crowley not confront him? Because he is scared too.

Now, THIS is the part where I explain why I said Crowley has unstable relationship patterns. It is important to understand that Aziraphale's kind of instability is only one possible manifestation, and that they are—broadly speaking—on opposite ends of the spectrum, which not only makes them incredibly compatible, but also makes them worse.

Crowley is terrified of losing Aziraphale permanently and being on his own. God rejected him, heaven rejected him, hell rejected him—his life as been one traumatic incident after the other with a strong focus on abandonment and neglect, especially from people he cared about.

He says himself that Aziraphale is his only friend, he doesn't have anyone or anything else. The bookshop is Aziraphale's anchor, but Crowley has nothing except the Bentley and whatever Aziraphale allows him to partake in. Hell can take his job, his flat, punish and torture him as they please, and make his life, well, hell.

With the Bentley only appearing in the early 20th century, for 99% of his life he had nothing except for Aziraphale, his best friend, the person he loves.

So what does he do? He clings, he circles him and tries to push his orbit just a tiny bit closer whenever there's a gap he can use, trying to solidify their relationship. Terrified of being abandoned again, he swallows and ignores everything and anything negative.

The final fifteen are the FIRST TIME that Aziraphale asked him for something and he said no without changing his mind later—and it was literally the worst case scenario, the one boundary he has that he is not willing to cross for him, literally the barest minimum.

Every other time he relented, gave in, apologized for something that wasn't his fault, have Aziraphale everything he wanted from Hamlet over shooting a gun at his face to giving him the Bentley. Crowley's primary objective is to do whatever it takes to avoid being abandoned, so whenever Aziraphale DOES push back and abandons him/says that he will, he panics. He panics even more when there is an outside source threatening Aziraphale's presence in his life.

Look at how frantic he is when he finds Aziraphale after the bandstand, trying to say whatever it takes to get him to come with him. He does the apology dance, gives in when it comes to Gabriel, and never reacts to Aziraphale in a way that would prompt him to re-think the choices he is making, let alone stop doing the push/pull.

His identity revolves around Aziraphale, his only relationship is with Aziraphale, he allows him to shape him to his liking as far as he can take and then some, he needs him to be happy, to enjoy himself, to live a life worth living—and Aziraphale needs him to be and do all of those things so he can keep up his behaviour.

They are dangerously co-dependent and just spiral deeper and deeper until they hit rock bottom and are forced to separate.

Look, I have BPD on top of everything else, I have been in a relationship with this exact pattern in Crowley's role, and it is fucking horrible. Absolutely unbearable. My ex-partner was like Aziraphale, pulling and pushing and pulling and pushing but on a daily basis, every few hours. No amount of talking or begging could get them to not behave in a way that would hurt me, and I was so emotionally tied to them and terrified of being alone that just like Crowley, I relented every. single. time. A year and a half and they never, not ONCE, apologized for anything. Ever. Not for hurting me, not for being an asshole, nothing.

The only way I got out was with a lot of therapy, support, and so much emotional work I was having several panic attacks a day because I was so fucking exhausted. Crowley and Aziraphale separating was the best thing that ever happened to their relationship.

Now, Aziraphale is facing negative consequences for his behaviour and is forced to examine himself and deal with all those fears causing him to behave the way he does. Crowley on the other hand is now forced to learn how to exist without Aziraphale to orbit around—he needs to develop an identity that exists outside of Aziraphale, so he can have boundaries and stick to them.

[halloween4life]

Sanders Sides Animal headcanons because I'm bored

I've been having a lot of thoughts about how Janus and Patton canonically have like, animal traits/feature. While Virgil and Remus only really have animals they're associated with as opposed to canon traits (as far as I'm aware/remember). And how Logan and Roman have no animal associations (again as far as I'm aware/remember). So I'm making headcanons for them organized from most to least 'canon' (in terms of the characters)

(also these are all with the intent of the sides being "humans with animal traits" as opposed to them like, animorphing)

Patton

Can jump the highest out of all the sides it's actually kinda scary

He can turn his legs into frog legs to jump even higher like my guy you do NOT need to be doing all that

He will eat bugs and he hates that fact about himself. One time while cooking dinner there was a fly in the room and he just, grabbed it and ate it without a second thought. He then proceeded to completely give up on life for the next 5 hours.

Virgil tried to bond with him over this and it only made things worse for both of them I think.

On a lighter note I think he makes ribbits and chirping sounds when he's happy or excited

but he will start croaking when he's in any kind of distress

He does have spots on his body, mostly on his back

Janus

I dont care what anyone says this I'm giving this man a rattlesnake tail

The tail isn't always visible like his scales, it's something he retract so he doesn't have to constantly deal with it. Honestly most of his traits that aren't his scales he can chose whether to present them or not

Definitely venomous but he doesn't really know why it does. (Logan was studying the sides' animal features and once he found out bout this, asked for a sample of his venom and proceeded to down it like a shot for research purposes. Neither of them had a good time that day)

Anyway his venom is basically an anesthetic, it will knock you out. (or in Logan's case make you horribly sick for the next 3 hours) (these headcanons were thought of before the latest incorrect quotes video I'm just that good)

Remus

He gives me blue ring octopus vibes

His body is definitely covered in ring patterns, generally they're kinda faded and look like old scares but he can make them more prominent and colorful

Also venomous, I think it would be a paralytic because something something sleep paralysis

Only has 6 tentacles 😔

His tentacles protrude from his back in basically the same way/places as Janus' arms

He can and will fit through any gap imaginable because no bones. He once forced his way through the gap under Virgil's door and he(Virgil) still has nightmares about it

he can regenerate his tentacles, this is often a result of his chopping them off for sushi jokes

Virgil

I feel like he's kinda a tarantula but I'm scared of spiders so I'm not very picky about the specifics

He also only has 6 spider legs (arms?)

They ALSO come out of his back in the same way as Remus and Janus' limbs

Can climb walls

CAN produce webs, but the come out of his fingers (sorry Remus), and they're a very light purple and kinda shimmery

He has sharp teeth, sorry I take no criticism

He does actually have fangs and chelicerae but he tries not to present those as much as it's definitely kinda freaky

Also willing to eat bugs 😔

oh oh oh he has stripes on his arms (horizontal)

HE HAS MULTIPLE EYES

Logan

He's definitely a bird

I know a lot of people make him either a crow or raven (which I totally understand), but I feel like he would be an owl, specifically a barn owl but that may just be the Mexican in me talking

Because of that, this man is dead silent when he moves, and has accidently given everyone heart attacks on multiple occasions

His wings are massive like you would not believe

I don't think he particularly cares for his wings much (i.e. grooming and preening), both because it's a really long and tedious process but also he kinda doesn't see the value in having animal traits, because of this he also doesn't really present his traits as much

He does grow feathers on different parts of his body, most notably on his chest/neck area, he's very self conscious about it

he can fully black out his eyes but it's not actually black it's just a really dark blue

Not really an animal traits hc, but Logan has absolutely gone to each of the sides like "I would like to study you 👁👁"

He does sometimes have very odd body language vecause of this, like he just kinda moves around weird (honestly just watch a video with a barn owl moving around and you'll see what I mean

OH he can turn his head around 270°, usually he uses this to scare the shit out of one of the sides if they are standing behind him

Roman

I'm gonna need yall to hear me out on this one but I feel like if Roman was gonna be associated with any animal it would be a deer

I'm specifically thinking a white tailed deer (not initially conceived as a Bambi reference)

He has bright red antlers and loooves presenting them once their freshly shed (fun fact deers shed their antlers)

That being said, he is actually super self conscious when he's shedding the velvet of his antlers (if you are squeamish about blood don't look it up) because it is 'gross and scary.' For a while Remus was the only one who knew about this.

He has a deer tail sorry I take no criticism

The fastest runner of the sides

he really enjoys just running around, like bro is actually the frolicer

He actually has a very faint darker patch of skin running up from the tip of his nose to his whole forehead (it sounds weird to explain in words but yall are just gonna have to trust me on this)

He has light spots on his back like how baby white tailed deer do

[pocket-gems]

So something that always bothered me...would geos, star gems, rutiled gem , ECT be their own gem? In fact how would anetrine work? What about gem ores since it's just unpolished gems, I feel like any gem related stuff that isn't a normal gem wouldn't work in my bases on the lord

(This is just how I think the show would make it + real life facts)

Star Gems

If a gem has inclusions, it comes from another gem. If you separate a Star Ruby you get a Ruby and microscopic inclusions of Diaspore (and mind you, this does not apply at all 100% of the cases with other Star gems or even Rubies).

I don't really think "Star Gem" is a real thing, it just happens to be named like that because it looks like one. Honorable mention to Double Star too!

Cat's Eye

Pretty much the same but with Cat's Eye. Called like that because it looks like a cat's eye.

Phoenix's Eye, Tiger's Eye and Dragon's Breath are not a type of it but follow a similar logic, that's why I'm grouping them here.

Rutilated/Rutiled Gems

If a gem has rutile inclusions, it creates a natural fusion. If you separate a Rutilated/Rutiled and the Gem you just get a Rutile. That's literally just a Rutile.

Trapiche Gems

Same thing as the stars. They're named after the Trapiche Wheel and its spokes.

Geodes

Geodes are a nafural fusion of the same kind of gem (and not the same type of gem). That's literally a naturally formed cluster.

Ores

Ore is a natural rock/sediment that contains valuable minerals, typically containing minerals. If Bismuth, a metal and Pebbles of all things can exist, that means other metals and ores can exist.

On the show there are examples of unpolished and polished gems being bubbled. Polished is when a gem has a cut/cabochon.

Natural fusions

An Ametrine is a natural fusion of an Amethyst and a Citrine. Natural fusions are defective. Natural fusions are defective

Inclusions

Inclusions are in pretty much every single gem, it's a form of natural fusion. Cat's Eye, Trapiche, Star and Rutilated are the obvious ones. A gem that also has inclusions would be a Ruby Zoisite and a Chevron Amethyst. If a gem has any sort of pattern it's because it has inclusions.

Some gems are formed because they are a natural fusion but that doesn't mean they look like one. Lapis Lazuli is mostly composed of Lazulite and Calcite (and Pyrite sometimes) but because they have other components going on, they are it's own thing. And those sort of Pyrite inclusions just means freckles.

Inclusions always come from a different gem, that's how they work. If a gem has inclusions they result on some kind of pattern, like with Snowflake Obsidian. It doesn't have to be just freckles.

Depending on the type of inclusions, it can result in a natural fusion or just a gem with inclusions: A Ruby Zoisite can be just a Ruby with green spots or a natural fusion of a Ruby and a Zoisite if the inclusions had a higher level than usual.

There is no such thing as an individual Star Gem, Trapiche, or Cat's Eye, because it's all inclusions. If a Star Ruby has Diaspore, then the Diaspore (or whatever inclusion) IS the """Star Gem""", just like a Rutilated Gem is just a Rutile.

Hoping that cleared things out.

[clown-friend-gt]

Up, Up, and Away Chapter 22

I don't have much of an excuse for not getting this out sooner. This has been sitting in a word doc, mostly finished except for the very end. I feel like the ending is a little weaker because of it, but it works. I'll keep it in mind for the rewrite I keep telling myself I'll do when this is all finished, years in the future lmao.

Link to Masterpost

************************************************************************

Early Release

3.3k words

Trevor drummed his fingers on his leg, eyes wandering around the prison infirmary. Some of the technicians were in the process of setting up a projector screen so they could go over the results of his final physical with him. He wasn’t ungrateful for the aid, not necessarily. It was certainly better than having to squint to try and read off a paper or a computer screen that was too small for him to make out clearly. Still, it always took them forever to set up the ancient projector, which only seemed to be used for this one purpose.

Maybe he’d have an easier time waiting if he could find a more comfortable position to sit in. Since there were no chairs here he could really use, he sat on the linoleum floor with his legs crossed. He’d long since got used to sitting on hard floors like this; that wasn’t the difficult part. No, it was the way he had to hunch over in rooms with shorter ceilings, just to keep his head from bumping into them. It always left a crick in his neck.

Most places on the facility’s grounds felt cramped to him now. The hallways, the classrooms, and especially his cell. He wondered if he’d have trouble standing up straight once he got out of here.

Maybe he was being melodramatic. He got his hour a day in the yard, at least. There was enough room for him to stand up and stretch when he was out there. So really, it was only twenty-three hours out of twenty-four that he had to spend packed in here like a sardine.

Someone cleared their throat, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at the source of the sound and found the head doctor, Dr. Sterling, staring at him. When they made eye contact, the doctor gave him a curt nod and held up the stack of papers in his hand for Trevor to see.

“Ready to go over your results?” Dr. Sterling asked him.

Trevor nodded eagerly. He was hoping they’d come to the same conclusion he had. But mostly, he was ready to get this over with.

A ghost of a smile played at Dr. Sterling’s lips. “Alright then. Let’s get started.”

Someone hit the lights, and Dr. Sterling flicked on the old-fashioned projector.

Trevor did his best to follow along, but Dr. Sterling used a lot of technical jargon that went over his head. He did manage to glean enough details to confirm what he’d been suspecting for a while: his growth spurts were slowing down. Before, they’d been happening every couple of days. But it’d been almost a week since his last one, which was quickly becoming a pattern.

He was so relieved, he could’ve cried, though he didn’t let himself. Even without any other inmates around, it’d become a habit for him to hide any sign of emotion. Any sign of weakness.

It wasn’t even the pain from his growth spurts that bothered him so much anymore. The pain was bad, sure, but he’d practically become numb to it. What really troubled him, though, was his continued growth, and what he might turn into if it didn’t eventually stop.

Among the stacks of paperwork and reports the staff here had made on his condition, he’d occasionally spotted projections they’d made of what the next couple of years would’ve looked like for him if his original rate of growth had continued. They’d avoided showing them to him directly, but he’d caught glimpses. And what he saw was enough to seriously scare him.

At some point, Dr. Sterling had finished speaking and was now staring at him expectantly.

Trevor shifted a little under his gaze. “What?”

“I asked if you felt like you understood all that,” Dr. Sterling repeated.

“Mostly,” Trevor answered. He understood enough.

“Do you have any questions, then? Anything you need me to clear up?”

Trevor faltered for a moment. He was a little afraid to get his hopes up, but he just couldn’t resist.

“Do you think it could be over soon?” he asked.

“You’re referring to your growth spurts?”

Trevor nodded uncertainly.

“I think it’s certainly possible,” the doctor said, with a degree of uncertainty in his voice. “But there’s no way to say for sure yet.”

“As long as there’s a chance, that’s good enough for me,” Trevor said with a tentative smile. He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. A knot he hadn’t realized was lurking in his stomach slowly began to come undone.

He shifted forward, preparing to leave.

“Hold on,” said Dr. Sterling, holding up a hand to stop him. Trevor suppressed a groan, having already gotten to his knees to prepare to crawl out of the room. He just wanted to be done already. After a moment’s indecision, he heaved a sigh and sat back on his haunches. Then he waited for the doctor to continue.

“Like I said, your condition is stable enough for you to join the FHTP. But I’m sure that once you transfer over to the institute’s care, they’re still going to want you to undergo regular examinations so they can monitor your progress.”

“Sure,” Trevor answered dismissively. Nothing he hadn’t already had to deal with for months on end. Besides, if his hunch was correct, he shouldn’t have to tolerate it for too much longer. His growth spurts would stop soon enough, and he’d be able to find some sense of normalcy in the body he was stuck with.

Sure, living at this size was far from ideal. But it was livable. That’s all that mattered to him right now. He could deal with everything else as it came.

************************************************************************

“You’re sure you don’t want to stop by your cell?” the corrections officer escorting him to the yard asked him.

Trevor made a face. If he never had to step foot in that place again, it’d still be too soon. Even on warm nights, the concrete floor he’d had to sleep on was cold and hard. The metal bars held a permanent imprint of his fingers from all of the times he’d been kept awake by a growth spurt, squeezing those bars to take his mind of the pain. And it was so small; there was no position he could sit in comfortably anymore within those walls. He’d be all too happy to leave it behind.

“No thanks,” he responded dryly.

“You know, if you leave any of your belongings in there, you won’t get them back.”

Without thinking, Trevor patted the pocket of his jumpsuit where he kept all the letters his mom had sent him.

“I’ve got everything I need from in there.”

The guard shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Soon after, they made it to the doors that led outside. He could hear plenty of activity coming from behind them. Everyone else was already out there. He wouldn’t be joining them for long; just long enough to say goodbye to the one person here that he cared about.

The guard stood out of his way as he got to his knees and pushed the doors open. He crawled through on all fours as quickly as possible. Going through doors like this was embarrassing, but he didn’t really have much of an option.

He stood up on the concrete landing that lay just outside the doors, skipping the stairs entirely as he stepped down into the yard. He took a few moments to stretch his sore muscles. Then he began searching for Wren.

They weren’t in any of the usual spots they tended to hang out in. They weren’t sitting against the fence, where they could watch the yard without worrying about being approached from behind. They weren’t in one of the sunny spots where they would sit and chat with Trevor on more peaceful days. They weren’t even hanging among the branches of the yard’s lone tree. That actually made sense, since the guards usually yelled at them whenever they attempted to climb it.

He was starting to get a bit worried. Surely, they hadn’t managed to land themselves in trouble with the warden before he’d even got here. This was his last chance to see them before he left this place for good.

“You look lost,” a familiar voice called out.

Trevor looked down to see that Wren had managed to sneak up on him. They stood beside him, hands on their hips and an impish expression on their face. He crouched down so they could speak face to face.

“There you are,” he greeted them with a smile. “I was wondering if I’d get to see you before I left.”

Wren’s amusement seemed to fade. “Wait, is that today?”

Their disappointed reaction caused him to falter, but he tried to keep his own enthusiasm up. “Yeah, pretty soon I’ll be training to be a superhero, if you can believe it.”

Wren said nothing. They wouldn’t meet his eyes. He put his hand on their shoulder to comfort them, ignoring the way it engulfed most of their arm as well.

“Don’t be like that,” he tried to assure them. “It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”

Wren looked him in the eye, still moping. “You really believe that?”

“Of course. And until then, I’ll give you my address once I get there. You can write me anytime you want.”

“And you’ll write back? You won’t just forget about me once you leave here?”

Trevor fixed Wren with a serious look. “You really think I’d forget about you that easily? I’d still be alone and helpless if it wasn’t for you.”

Wren scoffed. “You were far from helpless when we met.”

“Wren, look at me. I’m big. I’m clumsy. I break things all the time. I couldn’t stick up for myself without seriously hurting anyone else. I couldn’t even write a letter to my mom on my own. I may be strong, but in a lot of ways I was helpless before you came.”

Wren tried to look away in embarrassment, but he put his hand on their other shoulder and made them face him again.

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you,” he insisted. “I couldn’t have stayed out of trouble without you watching out for me, and God knows how bad my grades would be without you helping me out.

“Honestly, maybe it should be you going off to become a hero instead of me,” he finished with a laugh.

Wren shrugged his hands off. “Don’t say that. You’re gonna do great.”

Trevor couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face. “You think so?”

“I know so. You’re a good person, man. And I’m just…” Wren trailed off, shaking their head.

Trevor’s face fell. “Just what?”

“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

Trevor frowned. He poked them in the chest, making them stumble back a step.

“Careful what you say. That’s my friend you’re talking about.”

Despite themselves, Wren cracked a smile.

“Pfft, you’re such a dork,” they laughed, shoving his hand away. He laughed along with them, knowing they meant it as a term of endearment.

“I’m really gonna miss you, you know,” Wren added quietly once their laughter had died down.

Trevor smiled softly. He wanted more than anything to pick them up and wrap them in a big hug. But people around here already called the two of them gay often enough without them feeding into it. He didn’t really mind the accusation, nor did he understand it, since Wren wasn’t even a guy. But he figured Wren would hate to be seen as soft, so he resisted the urge. Besides, he wasn’t sure he trusted himself not to squeeze them too hard and accidentally break their back, or something equally terrible.

He settled for placing his hand on top of their head and ruffling their hair. That’s what he was hoping for, anyways. But since he could practically grab their head in one hand, he mostly ended up rattling them around by the head instead. Good enough, he supposed.

“I’ll miss you too,” he told them as they tried fruitlessly to pry his hand away.

“Let me go!” Wren complained loudly. After a few more seconds he obliged. They took a second to regain their balance, then glared at him. He had to laugh at their haggard appearance.

They marched over and slugged him in the arm. That only made him laugh harder.

“I take everything back, you’re a giant dickhead,” they grumbled. But he saw a smile playing on their lips.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he said after he’d collected himself. “You could join me if you wanted.”

Wren gave him a dry look. Before they could pipe up, he explained himself.

“I know you’re not the biggest fan of Lively, but I think you’d make a good superhero. You’re smart, you have a useful power, and you know how to handle yourself in a fight.”

Wren wrinkled their nose. “You’re really giving me the hard sell, huh?”

“What can I say? I want you to come with me.”

Wren’s expression softened.

“I still don’t think it’s for me,” they said with a sigh. Then, seeing the way his shoulders sagged, they added. “But I’ll think about it.”

Trevor brightened. Before he could say anything else, a guard called over, “Wrap it up Castillo, time to go!”

Wren gave him a sad smile. “Guess this is goodbye.”

“Goodbye for now,” Trevor corrected them with one last pat on the arm that only briefly made them lose their balance.

He stood back up to his full height. God, it was so surreal to Wren that they only came up to his knee, now. How much more would he change before they saw him again?

If they saw him again.

They watched him as he walked away. It was bittersweet, knowing that he had found his ticket out of here, but they had to stay behind.

He turned and gave them one last wave goodbye. They returned it, trying not to show how conflicted they still felt about his departure. He smiled, then turned to leave.

Pretty soon after that, he was gone.

What were they supposed to do now?

************************************************************************

As he exited the prison for good, he spotted the last person he wanted to see waiting for him. Warden Douglas examined the fancy watch on his wrist, then looked up at Trevor. He wore an expression of clear distaste on his face.

He didn’t understand why the warden seemed to hate him so much. It made sense that the warden had treated him like a criminal when he’d first arrived. He’d seen him at his worst, after all. But Trevor had worked so hard to better himself these past few months, and still the warden would cut him down verbally every chance he got. It was as if he wanted Trevor to feel as small as possible in his presence.

Warden Douglas strode over to him. The frown on his face only seemed to deepen. Standing in front of him, he gestured for Trevor to lower himself.

“Kneel down,” he ordered. “I have something to say.”

Reluctantly, Trevor got down to one knee. It wasn’t as if it did much to stop him from towering over the warden.

In one swift motion, Douglas retrieved something from his pocket and pressed a button on the side. The light on Trevor’s cuffs flashed red, and his hands flew together with a clang.

The warden held up the remote that controlled the cuffs that he and every other inmate wore with an air of triumph.

“Don’t think that that you’re free to act however you want, now that you’re leaving this place,” Warden Douglas warned him. “I have connections in the institute, and if you act up again, I’ll know it.”

He continued, a menacing undertone to his voice. “One step out of line, and I can have you thrown back in here like that.”

He snapped his fingers together to punctuate his point.

Trevor didn’t respond. He only stared down at his trapped hands, quietly seething. He wondered how the warden would react if he knew he was strong enough to pry them free, even with his powers nullified like this. He’d noticed it the first night he spent in these cuffs, but had only put it into practice fairly recently. He’d been caught during a lockdown with his hands behind his back and his nose itching like crazy. With a bit of effort, he was able to separate his hands with the cuffs still active.

He considered demonstrating it for the warden now, just to see the look on his face. No doubt it’d be priceless. But he doubted it’d do him any favors. And it might be best to keep that little trick a secret for the time being.

“Think of it like probation,” Douglas continued lightly, though he was still clearly mocking him. “Just be on your best behavior from here on out, and we won’t have any problems. Understood?”

He didn’t need the warden to tell him that. He knew how precious this opportunity was. He could not afford to mess this up, not even once. No more accidents. No more hurting people. He’d make sure of it.

“Understood?” Warden Douglas repeated impatiently.

“Yes,” Trevor answered.

“Yes what?” the warden prompted.

Trevor narrowed his eyes, blood boiling.

“Yes, sir,” he responded again, grinding his teeth together to try and control his temper.

“Good.” Warden Douglas clicked a different button on his remote.

The lights on the cuffs turned off. Trevor felt his wrists come apart with no resistance. Then, to his surprise, they came loose from his wrists completely and fell to the concrete with a clatter. He looked to the warden for confirmation.

“Get a move on,” the warden said, gesturing with his head. “I don’t have all day.”

Trevor didn’t need to be told twice. He got back to his feet and carefully stepped around the warden. He shot one last glance over his shoulder as he passed. Douglas watched him for a few more seconds, then turned to leave, taking most of the guards outside with him.

He shuddered as the warden left. If he never saw that man again, it would be too soon.

He plopped down on the curb of the correctional facility. His transport out of here was set to arrive sometime in the next five to ten minutes. So he had plenty of time to reflect in the meantime.

His leg bounced restlessly. He shouldn’t have felt as nervous as he did. This was a good thing for him. This was his chance to be of use. To make something of himself. To finally do something good with his powers, so he could begin to offset all of the damage he’d done. But why was he filled with so much dread?

Maybe it was because this was his last chance. If he screwed this up, there was nothing left for him. He’d spend the rest of his days stuck in jail.

He glanced back over his shoulder. He couldn’t take one more day in that place, much less the rest of his life.

With that thought, a cool resolve flowed through him. He couldn’t afford to fail. So he wouldn’t. Whatever happened, he’d keep his eyes trained on the horizon. Nothing would sway him from the path he’d set out for himself.

The sound of tires on asphalt pulled him from his thoughts. He watched in disbelief as a semi-truck with the institute’s logo on the side pulled into the parking lot. Was this the transport vehicle he’d been waiting for?

The driver parked the truck in front of him and hopped out. He walked around to the back and waved Trevor over, leaving little room for doubt.

He stood up, sighing to himself. He should’ve expected something like this. Where would he have fit? Nothing really came to mind. Still, he wasn’t looking forward to being crammed in that trailer for however long the drive to the institute’s campus would take.         Whatever. He could handle this much, he supposed. He steeled his nerves as he crawled into the back of the truck. Whatever life threw at him next, he’d be ready. He had to be.

First/Last/Next

[gabrielleragusi]

Hey, I see you, new followers!

Hi! I haven't done this in a long time but I thought I'd introduce myself again.

I'm Gabrielle, or Elle for short.

Personal bio

Italian. 29. Reader of horror and dark fantasy, and a nerd in general. I was raised on fantasy books and Disney in a mixed family (Indo-Mauritian mum, Italian dad). My favourite TV series is The Twilight Zone, but I use quotes from Friends and The Simpsons in my daily life. My comfort read is The Hobbit... and my second comfort read is 'Salem's Lot. I also listen to oldish rock music (60s-90s) but I won't get into my favourite bands because it may be a controversial topic. I'll just say that I'll listen to anything that goes from Fleetwood Mac to The Sisters of Mercy. I love history and true crime, and I'm obsessed with the big mysteries that have shocked the world and my country... like, who's Zodiac? Are Zodiac and the Monster of Florence the same person? I think yes, to be honest. Too many coincidences. What happened to Majorana? What happened to Emanuela Orlandi (whom you may know as the Vatican girl)? When I'm not painting or reading, I'm writing. I'm currently working on a story that takes place in northern Italy, and involves dark characters and even darker events.

Now, here's what you really want to know, especially if you're an art director browsing tumblr (the best place to find artists at the moment, forget ArtStation or Instagram), or an author looking for someone to bring your characters to life, or to give a cover to your manuscript.

Illustrator bio

I've been working as an illustrator for the past ten years. I began my career with smaller, private commissions (including portraits), and built my portfolio to attract clients interested in fantasy illustrations, my favourite genre. Now I work with authors, publishers, shops, and book subscription boxes. I want to mention the one company that helped me polish my portfolio thanks to their monthly commissions, Chest of Fandoms, because sadly, as of this month, they won't release any more boxes. I've also worked for LitJoy Crate, Fairyloot, Illumicrate, The Bookish Box, Owlcrate, The Arcane Society, and many more. The tools I use are both digital and traditional. I mostly paint in Photoshop, but for personal illustrations and some commercial projects I'll use alcohol markers, acrylics and coloured pencils on board. I also occasionally use oil paint. Over the past two years, I started exploring graphic design. I love combining my illustration skills with stylised designs for discreet book covers, foil designs, patterns, etc... I've always loved minimal aesthetics and I've found that they balance out my more detailed and rendered illustrations. In short, I love exploring styles while remaining true to what I love. Something I've been thinking about a lot recently is just how much I love and trust the process, more so than the final result. With AI on the rise, I think that this is very important and sets a line between someone who's passionate about their work, and someone who doesn't care about the process – the hours spent sweating and laughing maniacally over each painting stroke – but rather wants to get to the result no matter how. Yes, it's a bit judgemental of me, I know, but this was to say that I love the process.

If you want to check out my portfolio, you can find it here. For any questions, feel free to ask via chat, DM, or by sending an email to contact@gabrielleragusi.com

[loosethreadstitchery]

Hi I just started embroidering two weeks ago but I’m also interested in cross stitching. Can you explain the difference between the two (if there is any)?

I can try! Bear in mind that I'm self-taught in a "keep stabbing it til it looks right and turn to books/YouTube only if I'm really stuck" way, so people who were actually trained could probably do this better, and I'm open to being corrected.

Cross stitch is a type of embroidery where each stitch forms an X. It's often, but not always, done on Aida cloth, which looks like this:

Each X covers a square of the cloth, so the result is a bit like pixel art:

If you have a line of stitches of the same colour, a lot of people will do a line of half-stitches, then work their way back (called the Danish method):

That's really down to preference. Personally I switch between Danish and English (where you complete each X before moving on to the next one) depending on the geometry of the pattern I'm working on. The main thing is that the top arm of each X should be facing the same way to keep the piece looking tidy.

That's the basic idea, and there are plenty of patterns out there that only use cross stitches. Some patterns will also use back-stitching for outlines or details. Generally you do the cross stitching first, then back-stitch over top.

The majority of what I do is actually blackwork, which is related to cross stitch in that it's a type of counted work (each stitch covers a set number of threads of the fabric). I mostly use Aida cloth, but any evenweave fabric would work. There are a number of different styles of blackwork, but the one I do most often involves back-stitching geometric motifs to fill a section of a larger design. The pattern will show lines on a grid corresponding to the grid of the cloth:

A few things that might help if you're getting into cross stitch:

Aida cloth comes in different sizes. You'll see it labeled as 11-count, 14-count, 18-count, etc. That tells you how many squares/stitches there are per inch, so your stitches on 18-count will be much smaller than on 11-count.

If you buy 6-strand embroidery floss, you'll want to separate it into individual strands. If you're cross stitching, then usually the lower the count of your fabric, the more strands you'll need to make each X form a solid square and avoid having fabric show between your stitches. I use fewer strands with blackwork, because it keeps the lines sharp and makes the motifs stand out better. The pictures above are on 18-count. I used 2 strands for the cross stitch, and 1 strand for the blackwork (note that varying the number of strands can also be a method of shading in blackwork, but I haven't really used that technique before).

Some stitchers will tell you that the back of your work should look as neat as the front. If you want to aim for that, go for it. I'm really only careful about the back of my work if I know it's going to be visible in the finished piece; other than that, my backs are chaos and I'm fine with that.

This was at best a really basic overview of cross stitch. Some patterns use things like half-stitches and three-quarter-stitches to get different effects or smoother shapes. Some patterns will call for higher count cloth (like 28-count or more) and have each stitch cover two threads instead of one (called working "over 2"). There are all sorts of YouTube videos and tutorials that cover these things better than I can, but feel free to ask any questions you have, and I'll do my best.

Above all, have fun with it, and I hope it becomes something you enjoy!

[purefandomonium]

The Lingering Ghost

(Title pending because titles are hard)

Alright even though it's late and I'm tired, I'm really excited to share this! So I'll be posting it here first before I give it one final edit and post it to AO3. I posted some snippets before but here's the entire thing.

I've been wanting to do some kind of horror story w/Initial D for ages and this is the result. It's more angst and bittersweet than true horror, but I still had a ton of fun working on it. It's a little under 5k btw so give yourself some time to hunker down if you do decide to check it out. Also formatting should be ok but I also just copied/pasted it so it's possible something got jumbled somewhere.

Summary: It wasn't uncommon in the world of street racing. People crashed all the time. Curses were shouted, cars fixed up, wallets run dry. Eyes too, sometimes. Stories of crashes were spoken about as often as songs were sung. Usually, though, the stories came from the drivers themselves. They weren't supposed to be told in hushed tones as a warning to other racers who thought themselves too good to wreck. They weren't supposed to end so badly. They sure as hell weren't supposed to happen on Akina.

Iketani slumped against a nearby pump, in part due to the day's heat but mostly from the weight of his gloomy mood. Its surface was covered in dust with a bit of grime, and he internally sighed at the thought of having to wash it and all the others before his shift ended. He drew bored little patterns across the filth. "Man… I haven't felt like hitting the pass at all this past week." The frowning stick man he completed seemed to share his miserable demeanor.

"Same here," Kenji sighed from beside his friend. He kicked a small pebble and watched it ping off a nearby sign. "I don't know what it is but something about the whole thing just has me on edge. I can't stand the thought of being anywhere close to the mountain right now."

"Yeah… Me three." Even Itsuki's usual energy couldn't overcome the heavy air around them as he, too, leaned against one of the pumps in despair. Despite being far from it, Mount Akina's presence seemed to loom right over his shoulder. He felt threatened by his own sanctuary; the ultimate betrayal from what he considered an old friend. It hurt in a way he couldn't describe.

"Wonder how he's holding up." Iketani nodded to Takumi who was finishing with a customer. "Not having a choice in the deliveries and all that. It's gotta be hard on the guy." It would certainly be hell for him, and he'd only driven out there once since it all went down. He couldn't imagine having to be out there every night. Alone. At the mercy of whatever strange force was holding their mountain hostage.

Kenji hummed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I dunno, he seems the same as always. It's hard to tell if it even bothers him or if he's just spaced out as usual." Takumi was a strange one. Hard to read and even harder to get a reaction out of. He looked normal but there was no telling what inner turmoil he may be hiding, if any.

Two sets of curious eyes soon landed on the youngest Speed Star. Itsuki met them both and shrugged in response, not quite as easily excited by the attention as he used to be. "I couldn't tell you what he's thinking," he replied as he shifted his gaze to the approaching Takumi. There was only one way to find out. Standing straight and adding some energy into his voice, he called out, "Hey, man, how you holding up?"

Takumi stopped in his tracks and noted the three sets of eyes fixated on him. He couldn't quite pin it, but they seemed… concerned? "Fine, I guess," came his reply. "It's pretty hot out though." He blinked in confusion as the three idiots he called friends simultaneously groaned. OK, so that was the wrong answer. What was the concern for then if not his health?

"Dude, that's not what Itsuki meant," Iketani sighed, rolling his eyes. Pushing himself up straight and smudging his little dust doodles, he continued, "We're wondering how you feel about the crash on Akina."

A sharp jolt shot through his spine, but he reigned it in before his body could respond to it. His voice was steadier than he felt. "Oh. Well, I feel awful about it, obviously. It's sad." He leaned back as Itsuki shoved himself into his personal space.

"Yeah but… what about all the, y'know…" He glanced around like there were people eavesdropping. Lowering his voice to a whisper despite the lack of paparazzi, he spit out, "The stories?"

"What, about a vengeful ghost or whatever?" He nudged Itsuki away and kept his expression neutral.

"A lot of the guys have been talking about some weird stuff going on since it happened," Iketani supplied. "I thought they were just being paranoid but the one time I went out there…" He shivered despite the oppresive summer heat. Already, goosebumps were dotting his arms at the mere memory. "I can't really describe it, but I got the worst feeling of dread. Like I wasn't supposed to be there and needed to leave immediately." He huffed out a bittersweet laugh. "Imagine that. Chased off my own turf by some invisible force." He absently rubbed at his arms, still feeling a lingering chill.

Takumi mulled the story over in his mind with a quiet hum. He'd been running the deliveries like usual and while there had been an odd sense of something, nothing had ever come from it. He was pretty sure what he'd been feeling the past several days had been nothing more than discomfort at the whole situation.

Not that they needed to know that.

Keeping his voice in its usual deadpan, he said, "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but I haven't noticed anything. Driving on Akina has been the same as always." Same corners, same speed, same road. Nothing had changed. Nothing except for one unfortunate spot.

"Bah! That ghost probably doesn't want anything to do with a boring person like you anyway," Itsuki shouted, forgetting about the imaginary spies from just moments ago.

"Or maybe," Takumi began, flicking his best friend on the forehead, "there is no ghost and you guys are just being weird."

"Normally, I'd agree with you, Takumi," Kenji said as he crossed his arms. "But this is…" He glanced in the direction of Akina and grimaced before turning away from the distant titan. "I don't know, something really does seem off out there. The other Speed Stars all have some wild stories. Don't you think it's strange that so many people are agreeing on this?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He shrugged and went to head inside to cool off for a minute, ignoring their combined chagrin at his nonchalance. He could really use some water and a nap right now. It was unfortunate that he'd be allowed only one of those things.

***

Having finished the deliveries, his run down the mountain was no different than the countless other times he'd raced home. It was the same as always, just like he'd told the others earlier. The familiar road blurred beneath the Eight–Six, headlights the only things cutting through the darkness of Akina. There was only one thing that stood out amongst the shadows, revealed by the Trueno's yellow-white glare.

The words of his friends echoed through his mind as he slowed to a stop and stared at the only remaining signs of wreckage. The engine's soft purring did nothing to soothe the sudden wave of emotion that hit him, so much stronger than it had ever been before.

The guardrail was still twisted and deformed—far worse than when Iketani had wiped out—and its silver sheen was marred with scrapes and oil. Caution tape fluttered about, a pitiful barrier between life on the road and death on the side of the mountain. Fragments of plastic and glass twinkled like they were stars embedded in the earth. The emergency workers had missed a fair bit of debris, or perhaps they would get the rest of it once the guardrail was replaced.

Somehow, even though he hadn't been present to witness it, he could hear the jarring sound of the impact, of metal shrieking and plastic crunching. The sharp echo of breaking glass rang in his ears as his imagination played out the scene against his will. In his mind's eye, he watched the car hit the guardrail and shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. The headlights were first to erupt in an explosion of glass. The front end crumpled as the windshield formed a network of cracks before giving way and sending shrapnel into the cabin. The force that bent the guardrail into its horrid shape would no doubt have been enough to cause the interior of the car to shrink. If it somehow wasn't, well, the jagged cliff face would take care of that.

With a gasp, Takumi blinked the terrible vision out of his mind before it could show him what the driver must have felt like.

The driver who had been declared as unsalvageable as the car was. Loaded up and taken away in something better than a weathered tow truck, but loaded up and taken regardless. It was no wonder the guys were so shaken up by the whole thing. Truth be told, he wasn't entirely unbothered by it either. Every time the gruesome scene flickered past his headlights he felt the cold grip of dread squeeze his insides. He hated that feeling.

It wasn't like he could avoid driving on Akina though. The deliveries weren't gonna run themselves, and they'd sooner do exactly that before his dad would bother.

Really, he wasn't sure what about it was getting to him. The road had been scrubbed of oil and the tiny fragments of a broken vehicle were the only things left behind. Well, them and the destroyed guardrail, of course. He'd been spared the worst of the details—not counting the ones his mind unhelpfully supplied whenever he least expected. Aside from the grim melancholy of his friends, there was nothing tying him to this depressing turn of events. Some people liked to race on dark mountain roads, bad things were always possible, and there was nothing to be done about either.

Despite the fatigue gnawing at him and willing him to get home and sleep as much as he could before school, Takumi found himself stepping out of the Eight–Six. Without its refuge he was left at the mercy of the chilling breeze. There was nothing he could have done, nor could do, that would make any of this better. Yet he felt compelled to do something anyway. Perhaps it was because it happened on Akina. He continued to deny he was a street racer, but he did consider this his mountain. In a way. He'd been driving it for years, no one knew it better than him. So far anyone who tried to prove they could drive it better than him ended up losing.

He sucked in a heavy breath as it hit him. Was that it? Was this feeling… some kind of guilt? Whoever it was that crashed hadn't been local. That was the first thing he learned about all this. The second had been that they weren't the most experienced racer. Any further detail than that—like who they raced with or even who they were—was a mystery to him and probably for the better. He wouldn't know what to do with that information anyway. Send his regards? No.

He sighed and stepped closer to the mangled sheet metal, hand hovering over it. The Eight–Six murmured behind him, the only sound in the quiet static. He stood there for several—seconds? Minutes?—before mustering up the courage to rest his hand on the railing's cold surface, at the last spot before it became a misshapen mess. He sniffled and couldn't tell if it was from the cold or something else.

"I'm sorry," he breathed into the silence. His fingers tightened against the guardrail as he stood there wondering what in the hell he was doing. He'd driven past this same spot every night for the past week and never felt compelled to do… whatever this was. Still, he was already out here. Might as well commit.

"I, uh, I know that saying sorry doesn't really change anything but…" Dammit. What was he trying to do here? Apologize to someone who was already dead? Whose death had nothing to do with him? He sniffled again and realized the weather wasn't the culprit. It was the middle of summer. It should only be slightly below stifling right now. Yet out here, silhouetted by the warm glow of the Eight–Six, his skin felt cold and prickly. Goosebumps. Maybe there was some truth behind Iketani's ghost story after all.

Takumi let his hand fall from the guardrail and turned back the panda Trueno, the stark white of its paint the only other thing standing out against Akina's darkness. There was no whispering of leaves in the wind, no insects making their grating calls, nothing but empty silence punctuated by the still-idling engine. The goosebumps returned full-force as he froze in place.

Standing beside the red glow of the Eight–Six's taillights was a lone figure. It looked to be about his height—the same age too, by assumption—and that was all he could make out. The shadows clung to them like a cloak.

Takumi swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he stared at the entity. "Hello?" He was met with silence. The shadowy mass remained motionless, seeming to stare right through him. Without thinking about the risks of turning away, he craned his neck to glance at the site of the wreck once more. Noting a lack of changes, he swiveled his gaze back to the eerie figure who still hadn't moved.

Their silent staring contest went on for another uncomfortable few moments before Takumi worked up the nerve to try speaking to them again. He took a couple of steps closer and when nothing happened, he spoke up. "Are you… the one who died here?" He winced. Of all the things to say to a potential ghost, the first thing out his mouth was questioning if they were dead? Brilliant. It would be a miracle if he survived this encounter.

That unnerving silence still hung in the air as what Takumi assumed was their head dipped down once in a simple nod.

His lips formed a silent 'oh' as though the answer weren't already obvious. As his mind processed what to say next, he blinked once only to stumble back in shock at its sudden proximity. He lost his footing and landed on the dusty pavement as the ghost loomed before him, mere steps away. Even with the headlights shining against its back, it remained shrouded in pure darkness. The shadows of its body seemed to swallow the light whole, a hungry abyss. The air around it was still and icy, like that of a frozen lake. Aside from its humanoid figure there was nothing else separating it from the dark night around them.

In the back of his mind, he wondered if dying meant erasing who you were somehow. He shoved the thought away before he could really question it. Lying vulnerable in the dirt before a potentially angry spirit was a bit more important than a mortality crisis.

His own shadow began to pool in wisps around him and a bolt of panic made his stomach drop and his heart lurch. The smokey tendrils tickled his skin like electrified feathers as they danced along his arms and hands. His throat was tight and he didn't know if it was the spirit's doing or his own primal fear. He remained rigid, helpless to the supernatural force before him.

Before the tears that had been welling up could start running, the shadows that were lapping at his hands and legs slithered away to the ghost. They flowed and swayed around its feet with wild movements, like a writhing octopus.

Takumi blinked back the wetness and realized the misty darkness was shaping itself into words. Slowly, as if it took great effort, a sentence was formed.

Why are you here?

He didn't know the answer to that question. How could he answer that question? As the sheer panic he'd been feeling dissipated—gradually, because this was still an unknowable entity before him—Takumi felt his shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug.

The ghost tilted its head, clearly just as lost and confused about all this as Takumi.

He found his words after a long, uncomfortable silence. "I, uh, I guess I'm here because I feel really bad about what happened." And he really, truly did. The thought that this could have been him in his early days of deliveries hadn't escaped him. "Uh… Lots of people feel terrible about what happened." The shadows twisted before him once more.

Why? It's not your fault.

Now that it was clear the dead racer meant no harm, Takumi slowly stood and dusted himself off to stall for time to process. His eyes locked onto the ghost once he felt his heart rate return to normal. The abyss that was its face seemed to swirl and twist like a smoky whirlpool, and he found himself almost entranced before snapping to his senses after too many moments. His gaze then drifted to the crash site beside them, illuminated by the Eight-Six. "I know it's not my fault. But still." He turned back to the ghost, careful not to get lost in the inky blackness once more. He found focusing on the harsh lights of the car to be good at preventing that.

"I've been driving here for years. My dad owns a tofu shop and I run the deliveries to the hotel." He scratched the back of his head as something like fondness bubbled up. It was strange. "I kind of consider Akina my second home, so something like this happening has me shaken up."

I see. I appreciate your honesty.

What an odd thing to say. Then it clicked. His eyes widened. "Wait. Have you tried talking to people before?" It would line up with all the creepy stories his friends and the other racers were talking about. Some of them had mentioned that it seemed like the 'Dead Racer of Akina', or whatever they were calling it now, had tried to communicate with them.

Most of the people I wanted to talk to ran from me, the shadows spelled. Their movement was becoming sluggish now; it took longer and longer for them to form words. I tried to catch up to them but they were too fast. I never was a very good racer.

The ghost's 'shoulders' bounced like it was laughing. Then it stilled again.

I thought I could use the practice, but now I can't even form my car.

I think it's getting harder for me to stay here, but I don't want to go.

It's not fair.

Takumi's heart clenched. He wasn't sure if there was an afterlife, and he wasn't keen on finding out anytime soon. He could relate to the ghost's fear and anger about being left behind and doomed to an uncertain future more than he cared to admit.

I was able to talk to a couple people like this, the shadows offered to the silence. But they were more interested in the gruesome details of my death than anything else.

It made me angry.

Now it all made sense. The ghostly car chases, the heavy feeling of dread, the anger the mountain seemed to radiate to anyone who dared drive it. All except for Takumi. It was weird how he was spared from all of that.

I know who you are.

A sound of surprise escaped his throat. Was his mind being read? Before he could question it, the shadows had already shaped the answer.

I came out here that night because I was hoping to race you.

I didn't expect to win. But I didn't think I'd lose my life either.

The guilt boiled over and before he could stop them, the words were pouring out of his mouth. "I'm so sorry! I know I didn't ask you to come out here but I didn't want this to ever happen. I never wanted to be famous like this. I just wanted to get home as fast as possible to sleep! I-"

It's OK.

The words presented themselves right in front of his face, cutting off his rambling. Takumi felt the warmth sliding down his cheeks despite his best efforts to hold back the tears. There was something strangely comforting in the ghost's words even though they were never spoken. It was as though the shadows emitted more emotion than a voice ever could.

Speaking of shadows, he noticed the way the Eight-Six's light seemed to cut through them now. The darkness was no longer absorbing the light. It seemed whatever hold the dead racer had on this reality was slipping.

The ghost sensed this as well, as it stated, I know there's a lot you want to say but I don't have time.

All he could manage was a pathetic nod as he wiped away tears.

I don't know what happens now but I have a favor to ask you.

Will you race me?

Takumi's jaw nearly fell open. "After… everything… you still want to race me?"

It's the only reason I came out to Akina after all.

'Please allow me a proper sendoff,' was unspoken. Takumi didn't know who this person's family was but he could only hope they gave them a formal goodbye. It was obvious now that none of the racers on Akina had bothered to pay any respects; they were either too scared or too callous. Who would he be to deny their final request?

I don't expect to win, the shadows revealed, mistaking Takumi's hesitance as something other than realization. I just want to do the thing I died trying to do.

"…OK." Nothing more needed to be said. He'd give the ghost what it wanted, make it home in time to catch some sleep, and lay awake all night hoping the dead racer finally found peace.

Takumi's legs carried him past the ghost to the Eight-Six, mind alight with too many thoughts once more. He fell into the seat, the suspension creaking in response. As he shut the door, he looked up to where the phantom shadow had been standing only to find it gone. A glance in his rearview revealed a semi-solid mass of car behind him. A… 3000GT, Iketani had told him shortly after the accident. It wasn't the blinding white it had been pre-crash; it was comprised of total darkness just like its owner.

There were no lights on it but the red glow of his brakes confirmed it was there. He didn't need to be told to give it his all. Anything less would be downright disrespectful. Putting it into gear, the Eight-Six crawled away from the side of the road and began gaining speed. The ghostly car behind him lit up once more in his rearview as he hit the first corner, only to vanish into darkness again as he barreled away.

Three corners was all it took for him to no longer feel the presence behind him. He didn't know if it was because of the gap he'd made or if they'd finally lost their hold on the world of the living. It didn't matter. At least they'd gotten their final wish.

Takumi drove home feeling oddly lighter.

***

"It's so weird," Iketani said to a wide-eyed Itsuki. "I finally worked up the nerve to confront this ghostly pressure keeping me away from Akina, and it's just… gone. Like it was never even there." It had been just over a week and it was still all he could think about. After all that time being afraid, he'd gone out the previous night and had a completely normal drive.

"Maybe you guys were buying into that ghost stuff a little too much," came Yuichi as he exited the station with the intent to scold them for standing around.

"You don't understand, boss," Iketani argued as he whirled around. "I felt it! I couldn't make up that feeling if I wanted to."

He let out a disbelieving hum. "Not even if you were listening to a bunch of hogwash that got you all worked up before you even set foot out there?"

The leader of the Speed Stars deflated. "I know what I felt when I went out there a few days ago," he mumbled as he crossed his arms.

"I believe you," Itsuki said. He hadn't been out there at all since the crash due to the stories he'd been told, but that didn't change the fact he believed every single one. He didn't need to be out there to sense the creepy pressure warning him to stay away.

Iketani sighed. "Yeah, nothing screams believable like you of all people having my back."

The younger balked. "Hey I'm trying to help you, man!"

"Will you two quite goofing around and get back to work? Takumi's the only one who's got any semblance of sense right now, and that's saying something." The latter was spoken quietly so as not to catch his attention, though it wouldn't have mattered.

Takumi was lost in thought yet again, though this time it wasn't one of his usual dilemmas. He was distracted by what it meant to become a ghost and what sort of afterlife there was, if any. He couldn't get it out of his head. For all he knew, the ghost of that racer had faded into oblivion. That thought bothered him the most but he just couldn't shake it from his head.

It was fortunate he had a boisterous Itsuki to do it for him.

"What's got you all spaced out now?" he asked as he latched an arm across Takumi's shoulders. "You've been dazed a lot lately, you don't have a secret girlfriend, do you?" He gave his cheek a good pinch.

"Ow! Cut it out! That's not it at all." He managed to pry his friend's hand off his face and weasel out from his grip with an annoyed scowl.

"Are you OK, Takumi?" Iketani questioned as he shooed Itsuki aside. "You're not still upset about the accident, are you?"

It wasn't often his senior could get a good read on him, but when he did it never ceased to take him by surprise. He struggled to get his bearings. "I mean… It's just kind of messed up, you know?" Even moreso, now that he knew the real reason of the crash.

"Hey, I hear ya." He rested a hand stop the teen's shoulder and squeezed. "It's always terrible to hear about someone crashing. It's even worse when it leads to a death."

The three fell silent as the heavy truth settled over them. Even Yuichi took a moment to grieve the deadly stories he'd been privy to over the years.

Moment over, he continued, "Look, all we can do is try to be safe. Us Speed Stars take great pride in sanctioning races and making sure there's little to no risk. All the other teams worth their salt do the same. The sad truth is there will always be people who bite off more than they can chew." Hell, he'd nearly done the exact same thing not too long ago. It was a constant reminder to be more aware of his limits.

Itsuki, not wanting to be left out and hating the melancholy look Takumi wore, butt in with, "It's not your fault, Takumi. You didn't make them crash. I know we've been going on about ghosts and stuff, but Iketani was just out there last night and said it's fine now."

Takumi wanted the words to soothe him, but they did the exact opposite. None of them knew—nor would they ever know, if he could help it—that the whole thing was his fault. What a twisted way of fate. If he hadn't been so famous, if he weren't so skilled, if he had been the one to crash five years ago-

No. No going down that road. He couldn't control what other people thought of him. He couldn't stop people form wanting to become street racers. He certainly couldn't stop anyone from making a fatal mistake behind the wheel. The very person who'd died assured him he wasn't to blame. It would be disrespectful for him to ignore that fact in favor of self-loathing.

…This was going to eat at him for a very long time.

Yeah so I thought about giving 'the ghost' more of an identity but decided not to. Partially due to laziness but also because I like how mysterious it is. They're dead. They're just a mass of shadows so does the identity really matter anymore? They clearly aren't themselves anymore and I was trying to capture that but I'm not sure how well it turned out. I still had a ton of fun with this. It took me a long while to get it complete. I thought about adding a scene w/Bunta after Takumi returns home later than normal but decided not to. It was so freaking hard to write Takumi and I don't know how well I handled his personality or the hidden things I was trying to carry across. There was no way I was gonna attempt to write Bunta lol. Anyway. Thoughts are always appreciated. If you see any weird typos or something doesn't make sense, please tell me. I probably won't post this to AO3 for a little while longer because there's some stuff I'm still considering.

[bookie-bookdust]

Hi Bookie!!!

Just a quick question 🤨 where is LUCIA’S APPRECIATION POST😤😤 WE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HER TOOOOOOOO♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

(of course if you don’t have the time ignore this🫶)

♥️myokk

AHGIELAGJIWALHAFEKAGEKAGHURKGAHURAGIHERGUAERIHGAEUUWEIGAHU @myokk omg wait thank you 😭 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 I feel like I never talk about her on tumblr besides posting screenies so I probably should 😂

okay okay so

LUCIA COMPARI ✨😈

She's my one and only Ravenclaw chaos gremlin with a penchant for dark magic, binge eating, and is a kleptomaniac.

In SSFS, her name nor backstory are ever brought up. This was mostly because I hadn't planned for it to be that long of a fic LOL. But ya know how that goes. MC is unquestionably her. I do plan on bringing her whole story into a future fic (which all of this is subject to change at any notice because I'm indecisive lol).

BACKSTORY: Girlypop's family is from Italy, though her status-conscious Halfblood family has been in the British countryside for two gens now. Her parents were having difficulty conceiving and used some unsavory methods of magic to have her, but she ended up being a squib as a result. They're deeply ashamed of her, and she's a bit of a Harry-type that she lives in their basement, isn't invited to social events, and just does chores and keeps out of their way. She's deeply obsessed with magic though, studies it, steals books on it, etc. Until one night while hunched over a tome, ancient magic bursts out of her and burns the entire basement to soot. And then she gets her ass shipped off to Hogwarts (seventh year - not fifth). Her parents try to shower her with attention and praise once she becomes magical, and uh, no thanks. I'll just say it doesn't end well.

PERSONALITY: Known to wear slightly mismatched clothes in a variety of patterns, colors, etc as so much of what she owns (during her time at Hogwarts in particular) is from her over-zealous use of alohomora around Scotland lol. I'm working on some clothing mods for her!! She loves collecting random things and hoarding as she was never allowed to as a child. She's very intelligent but extremely reactive which continues to put her in the line of fire (she's an Aries, after all). Almost everything that happens to her is her fault (or Sebastian's lol). She loves to complain about wanting some peace and quiet and then proceeds to do the exact opposite. She has difficulty expressing her feelings, but everything she's thinking is written all over her face. She looks at magic in a gray zone and is a clever duelist. To her, it's about survival.

AT HOGWARTS: She holds the record for worst attendance in Hogwarts history lol. In most of my AUs, she doesn't ever graduate her seventh year 😏 (maybe that's a spoiler but oh well LOL). She enjoys charms, runes, and arithmancy. Her ROR is a massive mess of stolen books, trinkets, pie tins lol, and melted candles with wax dripping onto every surface. She avoids the professors, ditched the Keepers, and refuses to be a quest solver for everyone in the damn castle.

Sebastian takes a liking to her immediately after she outsmarts him in the DADA duel. Their relationship is uhhh...LOL. They're a chaos couple that have the same stubborn personality. In almost all of my AUs (in my head because they're all hiding on my computer) he's taught her sooooo much magic that she missed out on. He took the "my charge" thing seriously lol, and even if she says she hates him (she doesn't), she thinks he's the most brilliant person she's ever met. They bond heavily over murder, trauma, and the Dark Arts and are extremely protective of each other. He absolutely loves getting under her skin, and she loves to scowl at him. 10/10 would sacrifice herself for him - they always go down together. It's basic, I know, but they're my OTP🥰

OTHER SHIT: Loves pie and pumpkin pasties. I have an AU where she's sent to Azkaban for ancient magic and Solomon's death, and Seb's a bit loony after using a time turner so many times trying to save her. If she had a job at the Ministry, she'd be a cursebreaker, but I see her more so living a happy life in the middle of nowhere with Sebastian running a questionable business together as for-hire cursebreakers/artifact hunters/sellers lololol. She cannot stand Cressida Blume. DESPISES HER. Her closest friends are Poppy Sweeting and Samantha Dale. Honorary mention to Imelda Reyes as well. Her hair is always wild and knotted and everyone has accepted it at this point. Without fail, she'll forget her gloves when its cold. The things that come out of her mouth would make an old Victorian woman have a stroke😈

OKAY I WILL STOP YAPPING FOR NOW. I can't think of anything else. I was up until almost 3 am last night and my brain is fried hahahaha. Thank you so much for asking about her 🥺

If you read all this, thank you I love you 😂💙