#it's my toxic trait and we all have to deal with it

[fantasmagoriam]

So, apparently the obvious solution to me struggling to develop my Azem was simply to Let Them Get Worse

[lovecrazedpup]

mmmm jamie moment

[beta-therapy]

How to Deal with Sadness/Frustration from Rejection

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had a crush on a beautiful woman and wanted to give her the world, only to find out she has no sexual interest in us. Maybe she puts you in the friendzone; or maybe she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with you at all. It’s normal to feel frustrated in these situations, knowing that she probably has a vibrant sex life with other men, yet doesn’t have any sexual interest toward you.

When this happens over and over again, it can make us question our own self-worth: how come so many women have decided that sex is an activity which is off-limits to me? Do my sexual needs not matter? How come a woman can be salivating with excitement as she begs certain men to engage her in the most personal of ways—whereas with me, so much as asking if she’s single gets me permanently labelled as a creep?

As society becomes more and more accepting of personal freedoms, (especially regarding women) like allowing people to dress how they want, freely express themselves, do what they want in their own bedroom, etc., there indeed looms an increasing mental health crisis among those men who don’t get included in all the sexual fun. They can feel inferior and isolated. In this blog, I’ll discuss how to handle these emotions.

Although it might bring you feelings of shame, insecurity, and jealousy to find out that women consider you unsuitable for sex, it is important to understand that these feelings are rooted in misogyny. It is an outdated, oppressive idea that the goal of a man’s life is to acquire dominance, status, power, and wealth; and use this prestige to seduce beautiful women. This idea is so evil because it views women as beauty objects rather than equal human beings. Women are not trophies.

Women are full human beings with no less intelligence, leadership abilities, creativity, and dignity than the men who forced them to be quiet and submissive for all human history. A lot of men still refuse to acknowledge this today. They want to keep seeing women as less intelligent, less capable, submissive homemakers whose value comes from their sexual beauty.

That sexy woman you know probably does have a passionate sex life, but you should strive to admire her as a person: smart, strong, kind, witty, dignified. She can still have all these great qualities to her even if she has zero sexual interest in you. Considering her a “sexy woman” is—in and of itself—toxic masculinity at work. Why is “sexy” the first trait that comes to your mind when it’s clear that her sex life is off-limits to you? Maybe she is sexually submissive in her bedroom, but why should that concern you? She’s allowed to explore the “feminine” part of her existence in her private life without it subtracting from her value as an interesting, fascinating person in her public life.

You can still be a happy, nice, and fulfilled person even if all the women around you would prefer not to have sex with you. Just because the female community around you doesn’t want you as a sexual/romantic person, doesn’t mean you have been rejected as a person entirely. Sexuality is just one component of the human experience, and it’s very common throughout history for people to be deprived of it.

We have evolved for survival and reproduction, not necessarily to have good morals and be happy. For example, racism is part of our DNA. In prehistoric times, racism helped us stay away from warring tribes, so it was positively selected-for with respect to evolution. But in modern times, we can recognize that racism is a huge problem if we want an inclusive, happy society, and so we must actively denounce this artifact of our DNA.

Our sexuality is much the same way. Throughout history, the evil, abusive, tyrant was always better able to protect his children due to his status and wealth, in comparison to the poor, harmless, gentle, and caring man. That doesn’t mean the evil tyrant was a better person, but it does unfortunately mean that women would evolve a sexual attraction toward higher status, dominant men even if it meant overlooking their moral evil.

As a result, the things women are sexually attracted to are not necessarily the things that are good. You can take solace in this fact. Being sexually undesired by women does not mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means they see you as more harmless and submissive rather than powerful and dangerous.

[astrobiscuits]

Astro observations part 8

[LONG EDITION] - taken from my phone's notes (also, i was too lazy to edit it so here's a nice chunk of info)

🍂 Sun conjunct Saturn individuals inherit mindsets from the father, grandparents or great-grandparents. They might never fully act like their Sun sign (aka "shine"), since they've been conditioned from a young age to listen to parents, teachers, and later on bosses. They are the type to never divorce, no matter how toxic their marriage is. If these peeps deal well with their Saturn Return, they might become "THE BOSS" (aka the person everyone looks up to due to how accomplished, disciplined and rich they are, they've literally got their shit together and deserve a round of applause, "it wasn't easy to get to the top, but it was worth it" - you might hear them say this). They are also more prone to ingrain stoic principles in their lifestyle

🍂 Mars square Neptune gives off major cult leader vibes. They're the type to fool you with false promises until you sign up for their "camp" but then you realize it's actually an evil cult where all they wanna do is put you to work (and maybe later even kill you lol). These individuals become very scary when angry (you don't wanna see them angry, trust me). If they ever commit suicide, it'll be by drowning, alcohol or drugs

🍂 Mars trine Neptune is one of the best aspects for those who make a living off their talents. The talent depends on the element the trine is in:

If it's in Earth signs - ideal for those who work in the "money handling sector" in advertising, becoming an entrepeneur, holistic care (if Virgo is involved), cooks, those who work in interior design, seamstresses, embroidery/lace makers, models, event planners If it's in Air signs - ideal for those who work in sales (their negotiation skills are ✨chef's kiss👌🏻✨), becoming a spiritual/religious teacher or an art/music/any other creative pursuit teacher (lmao, i can't even speak💀💀), writers, musicians, magicians and astrologers (for the last two - if Aquarius is involved) If it's in Fire signs - ideal for dancers, theater/movie actors, hairstylists, circus performers, photographers (only if Leo is involved) If it's in Water signs - ideal for make-up artists, painters, tarot readers

🍂 Moon sextile Uranus individuals have got the ability to create a positive parasocial relationship with their followers. Since these people often use their devices to validate their emotions, i wouldn't be surprised if most of y'all also have atleast one active profile where you post quite frequently

PRO TIP: Whenever Transit Jupiter is trining/conjuncting your Natal Uranus (to a less extent also the sextile), you'll get a sudden boost in your followers count

🍂 This is a theory of mine that i've come up with and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it. When it comes to intergenerational astrology, i do believe that we inherit all of our personal planets placements from our parents and ancestors. But then you might say "But i don't act like my mother at all! This is bullshit!". I'm not saying we're all carbon copies of our family members. What makes us unique and distinguishes us from our parents and grandparents (or even great-grandparents) are the way the planets aspect each other in our birth charts and the planetary configurations between them. Basically we start from the same ground, but we all use our traits differently, whether for the better or the worst expression of them. Let's not forget that we also tend to go through different life experiences than our parents and grandparents; we might be blessed with different opportunities that might enhance our best traits and help us achieve what our ancestors always wanted to but weren't able to

Hope you enjoyed today's post, loves!💗💗💗 I've been wanting to post for a while now but my inspiration has been wandering alone in the Sahara Desert I can't promise that i'll start posting again more frequently (the new uni year is starting soon for me + i enrolled in a local astrology school 2 weeks ago🥳🥳 ya girl can't wait to officially become an astrologer) but my inbox will be open again for further questions! I must also thank you for helping me hit 500 followers!!! I'm probably gonna do another ask game once i hit 600 followers, as i'm too busy right now. As always, don't forget to drink water and take care of yourselves! Hope to see you soon! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[minniesmutt]

⚠︎ ━━━ LUNCH

⚠︎ ━━━ SS + WC: 5 + 0.8K

⚠︎ ━━━ CONTENT: PREGNANCY, FOOD MENTIONS, KIND OF TOXIC EX

     Y/n nervously sat in her car outside the restaurant— nothing super fancy as she had asked thankfully. He had already told her he was inside, she was just trying to calm down, finally gathering herself, grabbing her bag, and walking inside. Telling the host she was meeting someone before they led her to the table. 

     Jeongin had set his phone down on the table as she joined him. “Hey.”

     “Hi,” Y/n offered a smile as she sat down across from him.

     “How are you doing?” He asked 

     “Okay? Kind of nervous honestly.” Y/n grabbed the cup of water in front of her and took a sip. 

     “Let's order then we can talk about it. How does that sound?”

     Y/n agreed and picked up her menu. Scanning over the items for a few minutes before the waiter came over. Both putting in their orders and giving their menu’s to the waiter before they walked off. Sitting in an awkward silence for another minute.

     “I’m not getting rid of the baby.” Y/n finally stated after a moment.

     “I wasn’t going to make you,” Jeongin confirmed, “I know it was a one night stand and we barely know each other but I do want to at the very least co-parent this kid.”

     “I can work with that,” Y/n nodded

     Jeongin nodded, silence taking over the table again, “What do you do for work?” He asked

     “I’m an editor for a online news outlet.”

     “You work with Seungmin, right?”

     “Yeah. We were in a lot of the same classes in college but weren’t friends until after graduation and we ended up at the same company.”

     “Same department?”

     “No. He works more in reporting and journalism. I’ve edited a couple of the stories they’ve let him published.”

     “He hasn’t published a lot?”

     “No, (Astird)’s case was actually the first one they let him take on his own.”

     “They didn’t think he was going to be bias on it?”

     “I don’t think he told his boss she was his roommate. But even when I was editing it, you could barely tell he knew her. He’s very unbiased in reporting which is a good trait to have,” Y/n explained as her phone went off on the table next to her

Jihyun ❌: why aren’t you home?                   I know its your day off

     “Everything okay?” Jeongin asked

     “Yeah, just a friend texting me,” Y/n brushed it off 

     “Do any of your friends know about you being pregnant?”

     “Just my friend Hana, the one who was with me at the club.”

Jihyun ❌: Y/n

     “Do any of your friends know?”     “I may have told all of them?”

     “How many is all?”

     “Five.”

     Y/n nodded

Jihyun ❌: when the hell did you turn your location off?                   answer me

     “Do you need to take that?” Jeongin asked, seeing the constant light up of her phone from the text.

     “No. It’s just me ex. He can deal with it?”

     “When did you guys break up?”

     “Almost a month ago. Hana ended up dragging me to a club to just get my mind off it.”

     “Ah. So I was a rebound fuck,” Jeongin joked and it definetly made her laugh a bit.

     “If you wanna look at it like that,” Y/n said, “I was more so looking to get drunk till I forgot but drunk me also is horny.”

     “Bad break up then?”

     “Yeah. It’s over now though.”

     “Good for you,” Jeongin smiled

     “So, how are we gonna work out appointments and stuff?” Y/n asked, changing the subject

     “I would like to be there for them but if you don’t want me there that’s fine. I also can already tell I might not be able to make it to all of them with work.”

     “You own you’re company, right?”

     “Yeah. There’s certain meetings I can’t get out of.”

     “I can try and schedule them as best I can to avoid that but I can always update you afterwards if it doesn’t work out.”

     “That works out for me.” 

     The waiter came back with their food and they both thanked them before eating. Other small talk continued throughout the meal, some regarding their lives, others regarding the baby. Jeongin paid at the end of the meal, walking out with her.

     “Don’t be afraid the text me if you need anything, okay?” He told her, walking her over to her car

     “I will, thank you,” Y/n said, unlocking her car.

     Jeongin opened the door for her, “I mean anything. Even if it’s a weird pregnancy craving in the middle of the night.”

     The two of them laughed as she set her bag down on the passenger seat. “I will.” Y/n assured him and took her seat.

     Jeongin closed her door and waved her off as he walked to his own car. Y/n took out her phone, wanting to text her friend the good news till she remembered the messages— with new ones.

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© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[trainsinanime]

The following post is intended to be seen as levity and joking, not salt.

Chloé this, Chloé that, "Redemption started?", "Redemption interrupted?", "Redemption cancelled?". The discussion is getting old. What I haven't seen enough yet is how the show did Sabrina really dirty, by giving her the worst thing of all: A conscience.

The early parts of the show toyed a lot with how exactly Chloé and her relation to Sabrina works, which was clearly not well established when the first episode came out (hell, they didn't even seem to know who Max and Kim were yet, they only had their character models). Sabrina's deal is easy enough in the abstract, but difficult to pin down in the early episodes: Is she more meek or mean? More of a victim or more of a bully? Does she share Chloé's values whole-heartedly, opportunistically, or is she pressured into it? Does she have scruples or is she just a coward? Those are all elements in her character to some extent, but the exact mixture did not really solidify until she got an episode to shine and be away from Chloé, in Evilstrator.

That episode did the fairly obvious plot of Marinette going, "you can stand up to your bully instead of doing their homework for them!", and then showed us how Sabrina reacted. And the reaction was: Sabrina is every bit as unhinged as Chloé, just in completely different ways, and their dysfunctional relationship might just be the only one in which either of them can function.

This choice is not fully unproblematic, but ultimately okay in my book. I think die-hard Sabrina stans might call this character assassination, but I don't think there are any die-hard Sabrina stans. I feel like I should become one just to even out the numbers. Anyway, the choice clearly telegraphs that the show is not interested in long-running redemption arcs, which, you know, fair enough, it is designed for six-year-old French kids after all. (Yes, season 2 and 3 looked rather different here, but that's later)

The show did not exactly use Sabrina consistently after that, but for a while, they leaned into it. Early Sabrina was often mean, materialistic, codependent (I don't actually know what that word means I'm just guessing) and toxic in her own way. She broke into Marinette's room, helped steal Marinette's designs, lie and cheat for Chloé.

And then that was basically it. The show mostly forgot about her. She was an appendage to Chloé, usually frightened and a bit incompetent, but not much more. When Chloé showed signs of a bit of a hint of a redemption arc, Sabrina was not part of it. When Chloé gained a sister for, I actually don't know (I still maintain that "replacement bee" makes no sense for anything but selling merch), and there were hints that this might be relevant to her story, Sabrina wasn't there.

What did happen in the moments we saw Sabrina was that Sabrina got more meek, more scared of Chloé, and less mean. There were no more hints of her playing superheroes with Chloé and being at least somewhat of a friend, and also none of the meanness of Miraculer, one of the worst Akuma names in the show. Instead she was now in a closet doing Chloé's homework.

As she becomes less effective, she becomes more sympathetic, with some moments e.g. in the New York special, until she finally becomes Miss Hound. At this point we have basically the exact same thing that Evilstrator rejected: Sabrina is really just an oppressed underling who is too scared to tell Chloé to stop, instead of someone with at least some of her own ideas that happen to overlap with Chloé's in all the worst ways.

This all comes to a head in confrontation, when Sabrina's defining character trait is suddenly, out of nowhere, that as a police officer's daughter, she hates lying and stealing and hates that Chloé makes her do it. Since when!? Sabrina, weren't you around for Darkblade!?

Sabrina breaks off her friendship with Chloé and is now officially a good girl. And that sucks.

Old Sabrina had a certain edge to her. She made sense as an Akuma threat on her own, and even as a threat to Chloé as Vanisher and Miraculer. Now, she's only an Akuma effectively when Chloé tells her to, and she stopped listening to Chloé anyway. Her personality is now strictly: A good girl. Not like Chloé.

Ironically, in her emancipation, she has lost almost everything that made her unique, and become entirely defined by Chloé in every way. She's her own person, but with barely any personality traits except "not like Chloé anymore". No hobbies, no meaningful relationships with anyone, she's just there, and nice now I guess.

There are so much more interesting things you could have done with a mean Sabrina, which we know for sure because the show already did some.

But that's really part of a wider issue: When people talk about Chloé, they mostly forget Sabrina, and Sabrina isn't interesting enough to stand on her own. The ideas of a Chloé redemption throughout season 2, 3 and in some form 4 focused on Chloé's relationship with Ladybug, Marinette, a bit Adrien, Audrey, and a bit Zoé. Chloé's super-duper villain arc in season 5 focused on her relationship with Lila. Sabrina, who has been here from day one, who has the longest and most complex relationship with Chloé out of any character, is not a part of it at all.

I think that sucks. I think Sabrina has more potential, but in particular I think Chloé is more interesting if we include Sabrina in the discussion as well. Their relationship is something deeply weird and unique, and any Chloé redemption that brushes it off leaves a lot of very tasty crumbs on the table. It sucks that it ended like that. Yes, Sabrina is now redeemed, but as a result of that, she's boring, and isn't that much worse than being evil?

In short: We should all write more Chloé/Sabrina fanfics.

[genderkoolaid]

Hi!

I (24 nb) am having a serious issue with girls my age being quite misandric and using radfem rhetoric in their speech.

The issue is I understand their fear and mistrust of men in patriarchy and with many of them having horror stories to share about bad heterosexual relationships. But i am deeply uncomfortable with misandry and i don't know how to effectively point out that no it's not good feminism to hate on men.

Do you have any resources you could recommend me to build a good argument? I want to be prepared for this kind of discussion because it keeps happening more and more frequently.

I know it's not the main topic you cover on your blog but as it is closely related to transandrophobia I was hoping you (or your followers) could still give me some advice.

I wish you a wonderful day

My advice would be to start with talking about the negative impact of misandry on women first (although don't use the word misandry, at least at first). Starting off with "it hurts men" in any regard will likely not go over well, but if you first bring up the issue in relation to a group they already really care about, they'll be more likely to listen. Also, I would reaffirm that having trauma or bad associations with men isn't the problem, they aren't obligated to associate with men in ways that make them uncomfortable or exhausted, and that they have a right to feel their emotions, be angry, be annoyed, etc. Affirm that your concern is with how their actions and attitudes could be causing real harm to others, and that anger being valid does not mean you don't need to take responsibility for how you choose to act.

Some potential talking points:

When women are perceived as manly or masculine, they tend to get viewed with the worst traits of masculinity: butches and trans women are seen as aggressive, violent predators who prey on sweet, feminine straight/cis women. The patriarchy doesn't just hurt women through their femininity, but through their (real or perceived masculinity as well.

Even inside queer spaces, butches are expected to fulfill toxic masculinity: they are expected to be sexually dominant tops, not be emotionally or physically "weak," not do feminine things, etc. Butches can get ridiculed by others, even partners, for not fulfilling these things. Things like balding and small penises, that are traditionally seen as failures of masculinity in the patriarchy, are also made fun of in queer spaces; it seems like queer spaces have issues with how they deal with (real or perceived) masculinity.

When spaces make jokes about hating men, put a lot of emphasis on gatekeeping men, etc., it makes it a lot harder for trans women and nonbinary people assigned male feel safe. Some trans women & genderqueers might not realize their gender because they are kept out of spaces that could've helped them realize because of how queer & feminist spaces act regarding men. Butch trans women and genderqueers often face heightened scrutiny because of their masculinity, from both inside and outside their communities. (Also, send them this article.)

^ As a result of all of that, maybe we need to be more careful with how we think and talk about masculinity. It seems like we are reusing a lot of negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity in ways which hurt marginalized people the most.

From there, you can bring up marginalized men: you can talk about how trans men, multigender/nonbinary men, men of color, Jewish men, fat men, disabled men, etc. are negatively affected by negative patriarchal stereotypes about men & masculinity- I emphasis that because its how I would go about referring to "misandry" or "antimasculism" without actually using a word. Since misandry (and anything that sounds similar) is such a trigger word for many, its important to set the foundation that there is a big difference between the MRA concept of misandry, and the transunitist concept of misandry. Transunitist misandry focuses on how sexism & genderism* is used to target marginalized groups (specifically trans* people). Transunitist misandry does not say that misogyny doesn't exist, or that men are oppressed in the exact same way women are; its saying that the patriarchy (as a part of kyriarchy) uses gender and sex to harm not just marginalized women, but marginalized men too.

My goal with this would be to introduce and try to convince them of the idea that Misandry Is Harmful Maybe, and then once they realize how its harmful, bring up the idea that this kind of stuff needs to be named. Once they generally agree with these ideas, I think it will be much easier to help them understand why misandry is bad even beyond marginalized men: because the patriarchy relies on harmful ideas and expectations for men, even as (dominant/non-marginalized) men have a different place and more rewards; because liberationist feminism must be concerned with universal liberation, and that means it must be concerned with everyone's wellbeing and liberation; because we cannot disnantle the master's house with the master's tools, and letting any patriarchal thinking in poisons the well of your feminist praxis; because it just makes you a meaner and shittier person. In my experience people who think in the ways you described are resistant (not necessarily for bad reasons) to any kind of criticism towards sexism/genderism towards men, so my tactic would be starting with areas (like women) that they are concerned with not hurting and show how misandry hurts that group. Connecting the harm of this way of thinking to something they care about is going to make them more open to seeing it as an issue in general.

*I use "sexism" to describe the system of oppression based on physical sex, and "genderism" to describe the system of oppression based on gender identity/presentation/roles.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen Ideal Type Reading

Okay, wanting to do a little bit of a lighter reading here with my faves and do what ideal traits they like in a partner at the moment, so let's see what we have here.

Heeseung (2 of Cups/Man Holding Coin) He would want someone emotionally committed to him. He would want a strong bond. 2 souls as one. This came to me again; it is like Libra's have this mindset with relationships. He would want someone he can emotionally bond with and someone he can be let his emotions out to. I get a sense of intermingling, getting lost in another, which I can say may not be always great, but there is a sense of harmony and letting each other in. I just keep getting someone emotionally available, so that is important, also someone who validates his emotions. He would want someone who is very goal oriented and keeps their eye on the prize. Although, he wants a strong connection. He also has his goals and his career, so he would want someone with that energy as well. He would want his partner to put in the work, that could be in a relationship, but also in other things in general. The oracle card is giving me Cap energy, so he would want someone with that type of energy in that aspect. He would want a partner with their own independence as well. Lol he gave me a lot here.

Jay (5 of Wands/Patience) Okay, that 5 of wands kind of threw me off, but with the patience card. His ideal partner would be someone who may be able to deal with his argumentative and combative nature, someone willing to handle that, who isn't afraid to argue and go back and forth, but not in a toxic way. Arguments happen, so he may want someone who isn't too sensitive to that. That can be able to work through a disagreement, but also can go toe to toe with him. He wants someone on the calmer and more patient side. I am just getting someone who can deal with his sh** I am guessing he struggled in past relationships, because of this to be honest. This isn't giving me toxic vibes, just someone who can be combative and defensive, so arguments can tend to happen to him. I believe it is any relationship he is in, including friendships, I see this with the members, so he wants someone to be patient enough to work with him through that. Okay, guess they will give me a lot, boys like to talk.

Jake (The Emperor/Attachment) Well, this is giving me not the best vibes here, so yeah, Jakey sweetie what is this? Is this his ideal type or is this just about him? Jake this was supposed to be light dude, why am I getting this!? *Sighs* why do I not want to say this, so he may like to be in control, it is like he would want the person attached to him, like he would have the final say. Bruh I don't like this, like I can spin this as he likes someone powerful and strong, but then the attachment card is weird, this feels like more his energy, which means he overpowers his ideal partner or partner. It just like he runs things. Umm, this dude has to work on how he approaches love and relationships, because this energy isn't it. I have worked with his energy deeper before and he has healing to do, because this need to control and dominate in relationships isn't healthy sweetie, sorry. I will move on. No judgment here, but I go with what I get. I wish to not get these cards, but energy doesn't lie, and it isn't always rainbow and sunshine's. I always keep it real here. Some souls just need more healing than others.

Sunghoon (5 of Cups/Third Chakra Archangel Chamuel) I can see him as wanting someone who gives him space and has their independence. I think he likes a partner who can give him space when he is feeling down, instead of hovering over him. I see him wanting a partner that isn't overbearing, or constantly asking him how he feels all the time, like give him space, why do I feel it is coming from him. I wonder if he felt suffocated in the past by partners like that. I see him as the type that wouldn't want to talk about his feeling to be honest, so he would want that person to give him space, until he is able to open up. It is like give him space to process things. He really is trying to stress this, he wants space when he is sad, very important to him. He would not want an overly emotional sensitive person to be honest. I am getting drawn to someone constantly asking about how he feels and if he is okay and him not really liking that. But I also do hope he doesn't completely shut his partner out, because that isn't healthy, but I think what he is trying to tell me is when he is down, he wants his space and when he works through it himself, he will talk. Omg that was a lot. He would want someone strong, motivated and determined. I am getting someone with strength, will and determination. Who can endure a lot that comes to them. Yeah, he wouldn't want a highly emotional, sappy person who doesn't do anything about their problems. He wants someone who gets things done. Oh wow, these boys got a lot to say. I am happy they are sharing a lot, thanks.

Sunoo (The Fool/Rest and Rejuvenation) He wants someone carefree, simple and fun. He doesn't want someone who wants a strong commitment. This just seems he wants someone he can start new beginnings; it is like always a new beginning with that person. He wouldn't want someone to be too boring or predictable. He wants it to be new and fresh. He wants someone who is always willing to go on adventures and try something new. I don't see him as liking stability and comfort in relationships. That may get boring for him. He likes someone who enjoys their space and me time. He would like someone who doesn't stress a lot about things and does things to clear their mind. I also see him liking someone who gives him space to clear his mind and deal with his stuff. I can also see him liking a mentally strong person. Yeah, he doesn't like things to be too serious. I'll see if this pops up when I do their reading on how they are as a boyfriend.

Jungwon (The Hanged Man/Hostilities) Okay, Jungwon you are my bias, but what is this? I can see him as wanted someone very reflective and open to gain insight to difficult situations. He would want someone tough and strong, maybe not afraid to go toe to toe with him, like bicker with him. These cards give me two different vibes. One is very calm and serene and the other argumentative and hostile. He likes someone with both qualities I am guessing here. I can see him as liking someone who can handle difficulties that comes to them and can stay calm under pressure. I see him as someone who likes someone who takes it all in stride, the good and the bad. I don't think he knows what he likes or thinks about it too much, because I am not getting much here. Like most was me guessing, he seems to not care about ideal types to be honest, which yeah, you like what you like, no point in ideal types. This is why he is my bias, we are pretty similar.

Ni-Ki (4 of Swords/Door to Romance) Okay, the door to romance surprised me because I don't see this boy giving af about romance and love too much, so didn't think I would get much here. As a Venus in Cap myself, as Ni-Ki is, love is not a top priority for us and doesn't come easy. Anyway, I feel that means he may want someone to approach him, rather than he do it. Like the person has to sweep him off his feet, or make him feel something, before he ever thinks of allowing them in. He may want someone who makes romantic gestures towards him, who flirts with him a bit, or open up to him. He may entertain it, but not sure it will come into a full-blown relationship. He would want someone he can feel comfortable with, that he can feel safe with. He wants peace, absolutely no drama, same Ni-ki, same. You got to be able to give him space and be a safe place for him to ever think of letting romance in. Ah, maybe that is what this all means. Provide a sanctuary for him, and he will allow you in, and let romance in. And he may even charm you himself. I am getting, be my safe place and I will let you in.

Okay, this was interesting, not sure what I was expecting here, but this came out better than I thought. Although, I did want this to be a little lighter, that just not how Tarot works lol I will definitely continue this with the other groups I work with.

[shakti-tiger]

Letting go of Saving the World - what I realised about my response to the Neil Gaiman allegations

Potential trigger warnings: mention of childhood abuse but nothing specific. Mention of Neil Gaiman allegations but nothing specific.

Over the last couple of years I've been getting help from a therapist using parts work and trauma release exercises (TRE) to manage symptoms of complex trauma from childhood . Whilst I was working through some heavier aspects of that, I was watching Good Omens as a bit of light relief. So then I went down my usual rabbit hole with things I enjoy and starting to delve into the fandom, fan fiction etc. So I was a bit shattered when the news broke two months ago about Neil Gaiman, even though I haven't been into any of his stuff apart from Good Omens.

What then happened was that I started to feel really compelled to share this news and couldn't understand why it wasn't being more widely shared, feeling upset and angry about that situation and feeling highly triggered by people who seem to be carrying on as if nothing had changed.

I did have the awareness to partly recognise that this was to do with my past situation not about the current situation. Because the situation in my family is that I wasn't listened to, I wasn't heard and the other people were in denial of how toxic the family was and carried on as if it was all normal, because that is how they dealt with it. So the responses of a lot of the fandom seemed to be mirroring that to me.

I'm starting to understand recently how an all consuming desire to change an external situation that doesn't feel safe, to feel overly responsible to save others, is linked to complex trauma. This article here "Control As a Trauma Response: Knowing You Were Powerless Helps You Heal"

explains quite well how one way we cope with being powerless as children is to try and be totally in control as adults.

It was too scary to admit to ourselves that the caregivers were wrong, because they were in control of our lives, we were totally in their hands, so instead we take responsibility for what they did to us and blame ourselves.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to be protesting about these things, I'm just saying that I'm recognising for myself that the compulsive element of it that I've been experiencing is linked to a false belief that I was responsible for my abuse, so if I "fix" the negative threat outside of me, then I can make the world safe for me and everyone else.

I've heard well meaning people posting elsewhere that it is "our responsibility" and it's "down to us" to make these women's voices heard. That's a bit of a dangerous road to go down actually. Is it our responsibility? We're doing the best we can and following our conscience but if it's anyone's responsibility it's those who are with the duty of care for fans and employees. When over-responsibility is a trauma trait, it's a bit of a guilt trip thing to say to people.

So having only just really realised the extent to which I've been triggered by all of this I would say to everyone be gentle with yourselves and others, because I realized there were at least three aspects of this that were triggering me. Not just the SA, but the aspect of not being heard, of people being invested in hiding the abuse and the narcissistic behaviour of the abuser which I've also experienced as an adult.

And now I'm framing it in this context it helps me to understand that everybody has a different response to trauma. My siblings had a different response to me and although I originally felt angry at them that they weren't seeing the truth and they were in denial, I realise now that that's the only way that they could deal with it.

So some people in this fandom will want to carry on getting the support that they have done from the material and that's fine. And others will want to go out and bang a drum and blow trumpets and tell everybody and that's also fine and all of that is perfectly valid. It doesn't have to be that we're on different sides with this, we have to recognize the perpetrator and not blame each other.

I've added this link here for some additional resources if anyone feels that they want to understand more about complex trauma. And it doesn't have to be something that's been diagnosed or even extreme but I think that we all have and we all carry some degree of trauma and what's happened in terms of trust here with Neil Gaiman is a definite kind of trauma.

[emmitaaa4]

Elriels... I am sorry. I fear I may have come to my senses.

I hate to say it, but from my time in the fandom, it has become increasingly clear that Elriels tend to have superficial views of Elain and Azriel: when you actually deep dive into their characters, it's hard to ignore how toxic they'd be for one another. And they’ve been telling us:

"… Elain and Azriel are such different characters; Elain wouldn't understand Az nor fully accept him. After all, how could she deal with his darkness, when she couldn't handle Nesta's? They would stunt each other’s growth by enabling the other’s ‘toxic traits’—Az would coddle Elain and she would let him."

Right ?! I just—I didn’t want to see it, but their incompatibility is so evident.

I mean, it’s not like:

It’s not like they are both said to draw their strength from hope, even as the world holds that hope by the throat and tells them to despair.

It’s not like they both power through their lives quietly, not making too many waves as to not bother anyone: after all, they couldn't possibly both feel like burdens to their families, however differently they may cope with it... Elain hiding the parts of herself that do not conform to what others have made of her, while Azriel defines himself through his ceaseless work as the NC's Spymaster and torturer—for if he is needed, he cannot be abandoned.

It’s not like they both would do—and have done—absolutely anything for their loved ones, nor like they both tend to be overlooked amidst the stronger personalities of their entourage.

It’s not like they both explicitly say that they value fae traditions & celebrations for how they bring loved ones together.

It's not like they both seem to be a little lost in the world sometimes, Elain rebuilding her life & finding a home wherever she must, and Azriel saying he is unsure of where he belongs even after 500yrs. If at least Az didn’t already have an established place/apartment for himself in Velaris, I could maybe imagine them carving their own place in the world, where they are free to be whoever they want (wait—).

It's not like they both tend to wear a mask around others—one warm & pleasant, one cold & distant—nor like we see freer, more genuine sides of them when they are with people they are comfortable with. It’s not like they both reveal themselves through actions, gestures & well placed quips, nor like they both show their care through thoughtful gifts—imagine if even their gifts were complementary: one giving paints the other brushes, one giving books and the other a reading lamp… nah, couldn’t be.

…

Right ?

… Not to mention their lack of understanding:

If at least SJM showed that they understood one another despite all of the red flags described above, they might be able to grow together, but let’s be real, she just hasn’t.

She’s never pointed out that Azriel, like Elain, understands what it is like to struggle with rare, prized powers in silence; what it’s like to be othered by them. All that time together and he's never bothered to actually listen to her.

Those two can’t even read each other without words nor communicate with just a look, so how could they work? Anyways, even IF they could (which the bonus shows they can't), everyone knows that the basis of any healthy relationship is ceaseless friendly banter, so even then they make no sense. She doesn't even bring him joy, let alone make him laugh: even their senses of humor are incompatible!

Their powers are too different, and in no way complementary; she sees everything and he hears everything, that’s like, not even the same senses. He walks through a shadow realm and she Sees through a murky realm—not to mention that what she doesn’t See is all « mist and shadows », so obviously their powers could never work together.

After all, Azriel is a Shadowsinger, it’s not just some title people have made up, and honestly Elain would not understand that.

She’s never looked at his swirling shadows, wide eyed (with awe)…. nah she just ignores them. His shadows lightening at the sight of her smile has such a negative connotation, too.

All those visions she has, plaguing her mind, they’re just too dissimilar to the voices howling in his head, which is obviously why she hasn’t noticed his headaches. His head quieting around her is such a red flag, I’m sorry.

PLUS, don’t you guys remember all the times she’s flinched away from him? She won’t even see beauty in his scars, for Mother’s sake, how could she ever possibly love all of him? If you want to see all the ways in which Elain is clueless in terms of who Az is, check out this post (shoutout to my fellow enlightened Elriels, @nikethestatue and @rahjasmine).

I mean, does everyone forget that Elain even loses her newfound boldness around hi—

...

Like babes.

[jjclopelover]

How he talks to/about her v.s. How he talks to/about him

I'm back with more analysis' about JJPope and why it's better than anything either of them had with Kie.

Today I'm talking about JJ and how he speaks of and to them and why the difference in how he does it speaks VOLUMES.

JJ talking about Kie (S1): "Of course, I'm hitting on her. She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick, slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I tried it. Have you?"

JJ talking about Pope(S2): "Ain't all that bad. Just look at the guy over there. He would do anything for us. That's a Pouge if I've ever seen one. Bone-deep. That's just one man's opinion, though."

THE DIFFERENCE.

JJ talking to/about Pope:

"For once in your life, trust someone else."

~~~

"You're the golden boy."

~~~

Topper: "Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison."

JJ: "Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for Pope."

~~~

"I'm here for you, Pope. Welcome to my world, okay?"

~~~

JJ talking to/about Kie:

"And you--I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"

~~~

"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara."

~~~

"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein."

~~~

(I don't need to put anymore as all of JJ's quotes for Kie are from the first half of S1 lol.)

As you can see, JJ speaks highly of Pope and lowly of Kie. He sees being a pouge as a badge of honor and gave Pope the highest honor. He sees Pope as someone he can relate too and shares a deep connection too.

He doesn't see that with Kie.

And I hear Jiara stans saying "What about S3? He was so worried about her and went back to get her!"

And to that, I say, "Yeah...cuz it's JJ."

His number one trait as a character is his loyalty. It's his best trait as it shows how much he will do for his friends. But also his worst trait as he puts his friends over his own being and in the end it only hurts him.

JJ would have reacted the same if it was anyone else in that situation.

Like when John B was a wanted criminal, JJ did anything for him. (risking to get arrested himself, shooting cops, and being by his side when he was on the run)

Or when Sarah is dealing with Ward or Rafe, JJ is always watching over her. (running after a car that held a drugged Sarah unconscious in the back, jumping in a shipping crate to get her and the cross back, staying by her side, and keeping an eye on her when John B was found guilty in court.)

And even Cleo who just joined the crew, JJ makes sure to treat her like the rest of the pouges. (like when he praised her for convincing Pope's parents to let him go to South America)

And we all know that he would do the same if not more for Pope. (going to jail for him, almost getting arrested for him again, taking over an entire boat of men to get his cross plus Sarah, risking being seen with him at Midsummers when he was supposed to be undercover, taking a beating from his dad for him, fighting for him at the outdoor movie, being super protective about him anytime he was around Limbrey and Renfield, keeping the secret that Pope was the one who actually sunk the boat and lying to the others, bringing Pope to his cousin Ricky's house to save his life even tho Ricky was still pissed at him for stealing his ambulance.)

And many, MANY, more.

The way we are introduced to JJ who loves and protects Pope but pushes Kie aside

versus

The way they "built up" S3 JJ for a toxic relationship with Kie but as a result of that he has to push Pope aside.

The writers and creators gave us s1 JJ, that's how his character was made and supposed to be portrayed. S3 JJ was built off toxic fans who threatened their way into an unfortunate canon ship.

Toxic stans = Toxic ship.

You Jiara stans wonder why JJ felt out of character, or why the Jiara chemistry felt forced or fake. That's because it was.

You can't force chemistry.

All the OBX cast did chemistry reads to see which duos worked together as a couple and which didn't. But the one duo that did not do a chemistry read was JJ and Kie (Rudy and Madi)

why?

because the creators saw no need. as they weren't even thinking of getting those two characters together. JJ was supposed to end up with Cleo. That was one of the many reasons Cleo came back as a main character.

What they would do with Kie and Pope, I don't know and I don't care. But Any ending would have been better than canon Jiara.

Anywaysssss

JJ treats Pope like he's his partner

and

JJ treats Kie like she's his sister

But let's be honest...we all see that, don't we?

Editor's note: Sry this took so long lol, life's been busy :)

[sporesgalaxy]

What is with you and divorce? You're like a reverse catholic

REVERSE CATHOLIC GJDJGKDNGKDHG. THANK YOU.

the honest answer is that, as difficult as it was for my family and despite the struggles that mismanaged stress and strained relationships caused for all parties involved, I think my parents' divorce had a net positive effect on me. Knowing what I know now, I feel quite certain that staying together would have only reinforced all my parents most toxic traits-- noteably, my mom's tendancy NOT to question social convention. It encouraged me to question a lot of what people assume to be "normal," because I was suddenly not part of a "normal" family anymore at such a young age. In the long run, that attitude has saved me a lot of grief in dealing with my own neurodivergence and queerness. I think that closely examining the kinds of assumptions we make around the subject of marriage can be hugely productive because it can be a microcosm for what a culture takes for granted in a variety of relatiomships. I'm tired and rambling but I'm serious man I just think qusstioning marriage (as a social convention that often goes way too unquestioned) is good for the soul.

[aroacettorney]

for a character with a reputation of being extremely rational and logical, many of ludger's actions are actually quite emotionally motivated. even when he stays oblivious to his true emotions, there are still many instances where we can see how they unknowingly manifest in his actions and subtly influence his biases. i think ludger's second most toxic trait is that he tends to subconsciously cook up a seemly logical reason to spontaneously cover up his emotional ass because he cannot admit to himself that he feels emotions intensely.

exhibit A: his vengeance for arte's death required him to admit that he had a strong attachment to the kid, so he stated that eliminating the evil and offering solace to the victims were the actual reasons. counter: there were many better ways to deal with delica's incidents if his goal was simply enacting justice. even hans realised that this was a weak excuse to conceal his regrets.

exhibit B: his mercy towards aiden required him to admit his unwillingness to eliminate him, so he covered it up by reasoning that it would be too risky to take a student's life. counter: we know very well that he's fully capable of eliminating someone without leaving a trace if he puts his mind to the task.

exhibit C: his sparing casey's life twice required him to admit his disinclination to kill her, so instead, he reasoned that she was more useful alive and that her excessive pride wouldn't let her easily expose him to the public anyway. counter: strategically speaking, turning her against blackdawn was an obvious blunder. he didn't even need her to deal with them. plus, somehow he conveniently forgot at the moment that casey could still have told her best friend, terinna, about his identity regardless of the matter of pride and subjected him to even worse danger.

exhibit D: his taking owens under his wings and founding u.n. owen required him to admit his emotional bonds to them, so he claimed that he needed a strong fortress for his goals and his own protection, especially against the bretus. counter: considering his op-ness, he had never really needed protection. he also mainly tasked owens with leg work while dealing with most of the dangers by himself. he even ended up disbanding them to confront bretus on his own and telling them to prioritize their lives over his goals.

at first glance, his reasoning might seem sound and logical, but if we look at them for more than ten seconds, they are actually quite flimsy and contradictory. this is not to say he's inherently an idiot or a terrible liar. ludger's capability of reasoning is proven comparable to that of casey. he is also an excellent liar when it comes to deliberately lying to someone. but how does one reason or lie about feelings that they themselves are not even aware of?

my hypothesis:

when his suppressed emotions subconsciously influence his biases and/or manifest into his actions, ludger needs to convince himself that he is still being logical, and thus, without even realising it, he tries to rationalize them and grab onto whatever reason that momentarily sounds in his mind: why was he so dedicated to teaching his students? he couldn't get caught half-assing his job, and he wanted to earn the trust of the president. why did he save esmeralda? quasimodo annoyed him, so he had to step in. why did he delay the first princess' orders and prioritize the students' safety during the attacks on the capital? it was the princess' trusted blade himself who suggested saving the students, and not him. why did he accept casey's companionship during his moriarty's era? it was an act, and he was simply getting into his character.

whether ludger wants to admit it or not, he has always been a person moving according to his emotions. and the actual reason why we see so many inconsistencies and hypocrisies in his actions when aligning all of them together with his own logic is that his reasonings are only flimsy excuses that his subconsciousness makes up on the fly to rationalize away his repressed emotions, i.e. his strong attachments to this world.

[fnaffancontentbutmostlyglamrocks]

This is primarily aimed at Security Breach fans in particular, not FNAF fans as a whole.

You all are so damn toxic sometimes.

Even worse is that people are just being mean to Monty fans right now

"Don’t get all angry because your favorite wasn't in the game," and I don't think they get that he’s the ONLY one not to be in the game.

I hate being a fan of Monty cause we had to deal with the Glamrock Bonnie fans harassing anything to do with Monty on Tiktok or Twitter. "MONTY KILLED BONNIE!"

FOR FUCK SAKES THIS SERIES HAS A LITERAL CHILD SERIAL KILLER WHO ABUSED HIS CHILDREN! WHY IS THE ANIMATRONIC ALLIGATOR WHO MIGHT. LET ME REPEAT THAT. MIGHT HAVE KILLED ANOTHER ANIMATRONIC MET WITH THE SAME ENERGY AS SAYING SOMEONE SIMPS FOR DAHMER?

Not only that, Monty fans have been playing each game hoping Steelwool will treat him better. Expand on his character a bit more. Instead his negative personality traits and "evilness" being played up more and more cause Steelwool and Scott saw some people hate him, and thought it wasn't enough.

In Ruin there's not one moment Cassie shows any concern for him. It's that Monty thing, it hurts to look at. Than they made him just the worst off of the trio, and fucking killed him.

Now even in a game he rightfully should appear in. He's the ONLY one cut.

Monty fans get the short end of the stick.

We are harrassed by fans

Our boy is treated worse and worse each game. Physically, mentally, and even in narrative.

Now, he’s just fucking gone with little fanfare.

Its like why are you obsessed?

Honestly, because Monty speaks to me. This is mostly head canon, but based on how he acts.

I used to have really bad anger issues in elemantary and middle school. Even worse, I had to deal with a mentally abusive teacher telling me I wouldn't amount to anything. I was bullied relentlessly because they knew that when I reacted with my outburst class would be delayed. I even lived in the same neighborhood as them so I couldn't escape. It got so bad I attempted suicide. What saved me was after so long of being harrased, after so long of people only judging me based on what they heard. Never defending me. Someone finaly went to the principal and told them to look at my bullies before I reacted. Suddenly, the bullying stopped. What's sad is, it's not like I didn't try. I went to the principal and guidance counselor every dat. In the end to them I was that punk kid who would snap at any moment. Not a person.

With Monty I see someone who was like me. With anger issues because he hates himself as much as he thinks everyone hates him. I wonder if in universe he's constantly reminded he's not Bonnie. He sees fans clamoring to see Freddy while ignoring him. People always bring up the Missing message and his Arcade game to judge him. Then seemingly forget about the message that states he will skip shows to be over Monty Golf. You know the same shows he apparently killed Bonnie to appear in. What I see is someone who needs to work on his anger issues and get better, but isn't evil. They're dealing with the fact that one day their anger got the better of them, and they did something they couldn't take back. Something that I think many people with mental health problems can relate too.

My anger issues didn't just get me bullied. I was an embarrassment to my parents. I hurt people I loved. I was violent. I didn't hurt anyone, but I threw books and flipped tables. I was in this loop of feeling like everyone hated me because of my anger issues, and that only made things worse and worse. Even now I have a hard time loving myself.

That's why Monty means so much to me. I saw someone who was like me. I saw someone with anger issues but was more than that if people gave them the chance.

All I wanted was to see Monty one last time before he was retired when the new band is announced.

I couldn't even get that.

Before you make fun of me, this is what a comfort character is. I'm sure there are fans who relate to Roxy’s insecurities. Who have an eating disorder and feel for Chica. Who felt lonely and wanted attention like Sun. Who lost a loved one like Freddy.

I just wanted people to understand why this is just more than "my favorite didn't make it" for some people

I really hope Steelwool sees how much people really love Monty and not only put him in HW2 fully. They also treat him better

[wannaeatramyeon]

You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?

Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.

Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...

When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.

At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.

Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.

Female characters I like

Mary Kim

Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.

Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.

On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.

Lua Im

Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.

Lua has potential.

Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.

Just please don't white knight her.

Crystal Choi (meh)

And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.

She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.

What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.

Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.

Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)

Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.

Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.

And I do like that she's good at maths too.

Wasted potential

Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)

Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.

And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).

If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.

Leonn Lee

I just. What the fuck was this.

A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.

She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?

Hate for irrational reasons

Joy Hong

Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.

Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.

Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.

Others

I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.

And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?

LET. THEM. FIGHT.

Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.

And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?

Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??

HUH. TELL ME THAT.

In Summary

Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.

I don't care much about anyone else.

And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.

[elftwink]

my toxic trait is that i can't listen to those "GM/DM from hell" ttrpg horror stories because i almost always agree with the GM even if they're being extremely unreasonable because at least 80% of the time it's immediately obvious that the entire table is trash and the GM put up with it for a saintly amount of time before snapping and now the players have to crawl to reddit to be validated, where they will be validated because any GM who wont take a bullet for their players and then suck their dick is lazy and selfish, obviously!!

for example one "unreasonable" rule ive seen floating around abt dnd is "you have to act out all charisma checks" and look. i am aware at least some DMs with this rule are trying to be the next Matt Mercer and want you to play the part of the next Sam Riegel, damn your comfort and either of your skill levels and capabilities. this should obviously be addressed with exactly what the DM expects and why; after all, they don't make you do a backflip for an acrobatics check

BUT. but. imagine, if you will. you're the DM. your players come to a tavern. you describe a bunch of NPCs and wait for players to instigate roleplay. one of them rolls a die without asking you and then says "I want to seduce the innkeeper. I rolled an 18"

"ok," you say, (even though they should have just said what they did and waited for you to ask them for a skill check) because you're a good DM and you roll with the punches, "cool. what do you say to her?"

"uhm. I rolled an 18."

"ok yeah but what do you say. like what happens. what do you want the outcome to be"

"im seducing her. I rolled to seduce. I got 18"

"okay I know— you know seduction is not a skill right? whatever. what happens?"

"I dunno, you're the DM. I rolled an 18 though"

you now have a couple choices. you can continue trying to coax this player into roleplay, and risk the table think you are denying them the success of the roll (a roll you didnt even ask them to make), or you can sigh and say "okay fine. you seduce the innkeeper. you retreat to your quarters after dinner" even though this isn't fun for you and is barely fun for anyone else, including the player in question who stopped caring about the specifics the second they saw a high roll.

NOW imagine this happens several times a session, at least.

this is a fairly common occurrence at most tables, mostly due to lack of skill and comfort with roleplay, but it can happen to anyone who just isnt feeling 100% that day for any reason. im extremely fortunate to have DMed at tables where prompts like "and what do you say" actually do kick-start roleplay, and when it doesn't we're all comfortable enough to take a pause and try to figure out what we want from the scene, if anything. some sessions may be full on dialogue and others just quick narration depending on what the party wants to focus on and if they feel like getting into roleplay that day. & because I know what my players want, it's way easier to nudge them in that direction, and I don't get any resistance because we understand we share a common goal.

but if this were to happen at my table frequently when I was less experienced, with players who internalize the players vs DM antagonism rife in so many dnd spaces, where my attempts to direct the game were belittled or ignored but also where every single player had to be fucking micromanaged in order to keep the game rolling... i also might deal with this by putting my foot down and saying "if you don't roleplay a charisma check, you do not get to make a roll". to me this is not rules tyranny. this is a desperate attempt to get players to actually play the fucking game with you rather than chat and fuck around at your expense, wasting your time and all the time you spent prepping. & that is why, your Honor, my client pleads NOT GUILTY!!! and furthermore the defense would like to state that this whole case is projection on the part of the plaintiffs and should have been thrown out long before getting to court.

(i will say. if you're a DM and you find yourself making extremely specific, borderline unreasonable house rules to deal with your party's antics, especially if the impact is to just make them use the RAW, you need to find a new table. yes even if you're friends. doubly so actually. your friendship will survive you quitting DMing for them. it may not survive the blowout fight you'll end up having if you continue trying to pretend that shit doesn't bother you.)