#it's not a light and quick and easy thing to write. and constantly stopping to check things Will destroy the flow

[varjopeura]

.

[casscainmainly]

Okay gonna analyse some common Duke beliefs just for quick and easy reference. Some of these are up to interpretation (as indicated), but these are some common things I see that aren't quite accurate to Duke as a character.

Claim: Duke started We Are Robin

True or false: False. Alfred started We Are Robin, and the entire core cast of We Are Robin was already there before Duke.

Claim: We Are Robin is a gang

True or false: kind of tricky? They're technically a gang in the most general sense of the word, but 'gang' has racial implications that I think people gloss over (We Are Robin is primarily composed of kids of colour). Movement is a much better term, and We Are Robin doesn't self-identify as a gang to my knowledge.

Claim: Duke led We Are Robin

True or false: tricky. While Robin War has him as the leader, for the majority of Duke's time in We Are Robin he does not give orders or act like a leader at all. We Are Robin generally doesn't have a leader. Duke certainly has leadership abilities, but WAR is not the best showcase of them. Up to personal interpretation though.

Claim: Duke is a Wayne

True or false: False. Duke is not adopted.

Claim: Duke is intimidated/scared of any Batfamily member

True or false: FALSE!!! There is unfortunately some horrible comic writing, but for the VAST MAJORITY of Duke's appearances he is not scared of any Batfam member. He's certainly not afraid of Damian, Jason, or Cass.

Claim: Duke can emit light

True or false: probably?? His powers are constantly in flux and he develops new abilities all the time, so who knows. But he is much more likely to use light to turn invisible/manipulate his perception of light than attack with them (for which he can use his shadow powers). Up to personal interpretation/fun headcanons.

Claim: Duke jumped out of a cop car

True or false: True, but it's a Tom King comic and he's written horribly in it. If you want another example of him not being the 'sane one', I recommend using the time he got shot by a bullet and thought about how baller it was.

Claim: Duke is new to the Batfamily and doesn't know their dynamics

True or false: Please stop 😭 It's been like a decade since his introduction there's no need to make him the clueless newbie. Also he's a fiercely intelligent detective who makes references to Jason's daddy issues, there's no way he's still in the dark about most of their relationships.

Claim: Duke tends to obey Bruce's orders

True or false: FALSE. Duke sneaks out even during his training days, and for the most part operates independently. He generally has a grudge against authority of all kinds.

Claim: Duke is very sunshine-y, bright, and optimistic

True or false: False. I get where this one is coming from (sunshine boy is cute I love it), but while his powers are light-based, his personality is not. He's pragmatic, rude, skeptical, and often disillusioned. He is an optimist in the sense that he believes in community and change, but he's nowhere near a bright, bubbly kid.

Claim: He's the normal one AND/OR he's just as crazy as the other bats

True or false: Both of these are somewhat false. Duke is not the normal/sane one, he's literally a vigilante how would that make sense. But he also thinks of himself as more normal than the others (at least at one point). Duke discourse should move on from this debate, both these statements obscure what makes Duke unique and interesting.

Claim: Duke designed his Signal outfit

True or false: False. This isn't really a belief I just see people assuming he designed it, he didn't though, Bruce gave it to him. There's no indication he had a hand in the design. Bruce actually gave him TWO designs, I think Bruce just loves giving him outfits tbh.

Claim: Duke's parents are still under the Joker toxin

True or false: Technically false. His mom was healed in Urban Legends #19, but Duke's sporadic appearances mean this was never really followed up on. I have no clue what happened to Doug. Up to DC to SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!

Claim: Anything to do with his portrayal in WFA

True or false: False. Literally everything. (The only, and I do mean only, thing to take from WFA is his interactions with Damian)

Okay that's all, I hope that was helpful to anyone out there!!! There are tons of things here that are my interpretation only of course, the best way to get to know Duke is to read his comics. We Are Robin and DC Rise of the Power Company is waiting for you <3333.

[mournthebird]

Winter Soldier Post!HYDRA Headcannons

warnings: Bucky is still the Winter Soldier | PTSD | Post abuse (physical, psychological) | Past SA and mentions of treatment for it | Light descriptions of injuries/wounds | Medical stuff

a/n: I was writing something earlier and it made me want to write this. It's just a random collection of headcannons I have. You bring him home after he escapes HYDRA. You have your hands full. Unedited.

Following the events of the movies, let's pretend you bring Bucky home after CATWS. He's still the soldier. He's still Soldat. And Soldat doesn't speak. In fact he is silent for days. Uttering nothing, not a peep.

Soldat is silent, watchful, wary. He doesn't like being approached too quick. He stays in corners. He stays in small spaces. Being too exposed now makes him feel anxious. He reacts with aggression if he is anxious.

You learn all this.

He also becomes visibly irritated when he feels confused and stressed, which is pretty much constantly.

He needs you to order him around, which sounds harsh but the sudden change of environment and treatment is really confusing for him. He is too fresh from HYDRA to immediately just heal. That's now how it works. This kind of trauma doesn't just go away. This man is so severely mistreated, you aren't even sure where to start.

Simple things like telling him to shower or sleep. Otherwise he stays up for days and refuses to do anything. Free will is such a foreign concept to him.

Re-feeding and giving him nutrients and fluids is a nightmare. Luckily, you had a medic friend who could look at him without the involvement of the government since he was in hiding for now. You got all the supplies you needed, but it was still a hassle. His options were very limited when it came to food. Oatmeal, mashed potatoes, applesauce, things like that. He could barely stomach anything more solid than that.

He sits still for the IVs, but sometimes he doesn't and he puts up a struggle, assuming it is some kind of drug to manipulate him. You just have to stay close and talk to him so he pays more attention to you than what your friend is doing.

He got sick a lot. You had to be careful about that. Too much food made him sick, his body wasn't used to it.

He also was having difficulty remembering you and where he was, the fact that he wasn't undergoing constant brainwashing made all the chemicals go haywire. It made his moods unpredictable. He had aggressive bouts, though he never harmed you badly, he would grab you if you got too close out of instinct and fear.

He often broke down and during these times it was a gamble whether or not he'd let you around him. He felt so pathetic and small and horrible, confused and unsure for the first time in decades. He was used to being mindless besides the orders barked at him. Simple, easy, all he had to do was listen.

But now, things were different. He was no longer being kept in a shitty cell or in an icebox. He wasn't tortured daily, he wasn't taken into rooms where agents were greedy with him. He wasn't hurt. And...it confused him even more.

You notice he sits strange when he does. He doesn't like to sit for long. He says it hurts. He prefers to stand. You don't understand until later, and you do your best to help ease his pain.

He didn't understand why you didn't hurt him. Why you didn't hit him. Sometimes he hit himself when he felt like he deserved it, each time he felt a pit in his stomach when he saw the disapproving look in your eye and listened to the scold that came after. You were gentle...but firm. He could not hurt himself. That made him bad. Disobedient. Disobedient soldiers are punished. It was a cruel cycle that ran in his mind. You had to be the one to stop it.

When he did speak, it was simple Russian phrases. Yes, no, he addressed you as handler, his responses were monotone and recited. He had been trained not to speak. That wasn't what he was supposed to do with his mou-

Enough. The memories are invading again.

You could tell when he zoned out into his episodes, his eyes became glossy and he seemed to become a zombie. You sat him down somewhere quiet and stayed with him. Sometimes he didn't want to be touched, sometimes he let you. But you had to be careful, you never wanted him to be uncomfortable or make things worse.

It was a tender thing. But it was something you were more than happy doing.

After a few weeks he seeks you out more often. He stays close by, he even sits close to you or tries to get your attention. He's still quiet, but he speaks more now. Even in english, which you find a relief. By you you've learned the short Russian phrases he spoke, but it was good he spoke english too.

He starts to hang closer to you, he stays out of his 'hiding spots' in your home and stays around you more often. He sits on the couch beside you, starting to seek you out. It's a positive sign he's growing more comfortable.

He doesn't like being alone for very long. If you have a job, it might be hard for him. You try to get one where you can work from home, otherwise he is very anxious and clingy when you come home from your shift.

The spare bedroom is his, but he often finds himself migrating to your bedroom through the night. He needs your presence, he needs to know he's not alone. The silence is deafening, and knowing your body is beside him is comforting when he sleeps.

Speaking of, he starts off on the floor. It's a little heartbreaking, he sees the bed as a test, an awkward thing he doesn't want to sleep in. So he starts on the floor, then you move the mattress off the bed to the floor, along with some pillows and blankets. That seemed to help condition him to an actual bed before he eventually sleeps in yours with you.

You know recovery and his healing is going to be a long, bumpy road, but you are just happy he sees you as protection and comfort, and his trust is slowly building with you.

Thanks for reading.

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Images from Pinterest

[taesancult]

imagine making jaehyun cum in his pants before dance practice/performance.... (hi! omg ive been reading your work, i love your writing)

THIS!!! i’m giggling kicking my feet biting back a smile rn i love subby boy myungjae <3 & thank you for the love! i appreciate you MUAH <3

smut under the cut. mdni.

let me set the scene for you for a sec…

say he wouldn’t leave you alone that day because the night before he was being so bratty you actually didn’t let him cum at all. he would be so pent up, but he knew if he came on his own that it would just result in more punishment. so, he resorted to constantly begging and nagging you throughout the day. “please! just let me cum really quick before practice! i can’t go like this, it hurts!” he whined out as he hugged you from behind, he had decided that locking his arms around you and begging was his best option. he couldn’t see it, but you were smiling so big because he was just too cute.

“i’ll drive you, jaehyun, let’s go.” you said as you unlatched his arms from your body. “you’re so cold!” he would whine as you laughed at him, but little did he know that you had plans in store for him. you would get to the studio, walking down the hallways and quickly shove him in one of the closets. you turn on the lights and make sure to lock the door. “what’s going on?” he would ask with wide eyes as you just stare at him for a second. “you want to cum, don’t you?” you’d ask with an evil grin as his eyes go even wider. “n-no! come on!” he’d whimper as you sternly tell him, “off with your sweatpants.” he would obey you, quickly freeing his already hard cock. you got on your knees in front of him, spitting in your hand before pumping him. he would sigh in relief at the feeling of your hand touching him, fully giving into you as he’s just that easy for you. it’s so easy to make him obey because all he really wants is for you to use him. “you’re so pretty when you shut up, myungjae.” you would simultaneously degrade and praise him, making his head feel fuzzy. your degradation had no truth to it, loving how whiney and vocal he is, and he knew that too.

the whole situation was almost too much for him to handle, he definitely wouldn’t last long. when you noticed he was getting close, you would stop all movement. “put your pants back on-” you would start, immediately getting interrupted by him begging because he assumed you were going to edge him again. you glared at him, that look alone causing him to hurriedly pull his pants up. you stay on your knees in front of him for a moment, roughly pawing at his still painfully hard cock. you would get up to whisper in his ear, still playing with him through his pants. “you’re such a good boy for me, you know that?” that was it. if there’s one thing he truly can’t tolerate, it’s praise. he would throw his head back, eyes tightly shut, moans leaving him freely as he finally gets the relief he had been waiting so long for. he would be panting, trying to calm down as he realized what you had done. you just made him cum in his pants and now he has to go to practice like this.

“y-you’re so cruel!” he would whine once more as he felt all sticky. “i let you cum, didn’t i? you know, you’re being awfully ungrateful!” you would retort and he would just stare at you with his jaw open, stunned. “s-sorry. thank you.” he would back down, not wanting to repeat last night’s edging session. “that’s what i thought, now be a good boy and go practice hard!” you kissed him, then proceeded to leave him in the closet alone and dumbfounded, with a wet spot on his pants.

[cultkinkcoven]

Hello, I have a quick question. Do you have any tips or something for studying with Lucifer? I've recently started working with him, but I had no time for big offerings, just some small things. Uni is currently kicking my ass and I have one week of exams left, on top of that, I found out I've failed an exam. I'll retake it in summer but my motivation for studying has decreased and my anxiety, fear of failure and insecurities has increased too much. So, do you have any tips, rituals or things that you do to study while also involving Lord Lucifer into it?

Hope you have a great day/night!

I think studying anything in general is an activity that you can invite Lucifer in on, and he’s a really great energy to go to for academic anxiety. He helps me remember that the world isn’t going to end if I’m not productive 24/7, and that a bad grade isn’t a death sentence. Praying to him for inspiration before writing, or just asking him to calm me down before jumping into an exam has always been really helpful. You can create sigils or mantras with him to help you remember a specific concept. I’ve even had him help me study inside of dreams, reminding me of things I would have surely forgotten the next day.

I consider something as simple as lighting his candle while you research to be a devotional act, especially while you’re still in the brain storming stage and are just looking for information. Any pursuit of knowledge seeking is Lucifer’s specialty.

Whenever I get into a slump Lucifer encourages me to just read without actually writing anything down. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to think of it as studying rather than just lightly browsing some literature. I really like having conversations with him about the things I’m studying, usually the ideas he presents are interesting enough that I can easily remember them in a high stress situation like a test.

When I get overwhelmed writing essays and things of the sort he’ll have me do what seems like a very small task, like a writing only two sentences, and then walking away from it. In a few more hours I’ll go back and read what I wrote, maybe change a word or two, and then leave it alone again. Doing these very small increments of work allows me to still get stuff done without burning myself out. I’m also a bit of a perfectionist and accidental workaholic so I also ask him to keep me in check and stop me from over working myself when I’ve been at it for hours at a time. My time blindness can lead me to work constantly all day, so having him step in and say “hey it’s been 7 hours since you got up” is also super helpful.

Other than that, be kind to yourself! Remember how impressive it is that you’re even doing any of this. Academics are not easy for most people, the fact that you’re committed to your education is very admirable!

[japage3moondog]

the beatles dating hc's

early 60's era.

john lennon (the l in lennon is for lover)

john has light commitment issues, to be honest. he truly is madly in love with you but romantic relationships are super new to him so please be patient.

he struggles to show his physical affections, especially in public and especially since he has a very tight schedule. so whenever he can he'll give you a copy of a book he's been reading or pictures from a tour that you couldn't make. anything that will keep him in your heart when he can't be there in person. and he will call you as often as he possibly can, even if you don't talk, knowing you're on the other line is so comforting for him.

paul macca

paul is literally the reason i believe in soulmates. as soon as he sees you it's like love at first sight. he's way too shy to admit it but he feels the connection instantly. the whole time your talking to him, his eyes are so wide, he looks entranced.

i know the whole love languages thing is a hoax but he truly appreciates quality time above all else. you are his special person.

he has a bit of a controlling tendancy but he catches himself because he doesn't want to scare you off. he'll literally stop himself mid-sentence if he thinks he sounds weird.

george harrison

george will ask you out on a date as quick as he'd ask for your name. when you say yes it takes everything in him not to literally jump for joy, he's so excited.

he is easy to please. like he's happy to just have you in his arms at the end of the day. he's not very big into super flamboyant love but he always lets you know how much he appreciates you.

when he writes songs for you, he'll immediately call you up or if you're available in person so he can play it for you. he constantly tries to teach you guitar except he goes way too fast and you never really learn but it's nice to able to share his interests.

ringo starr

immediately get enamoured by ringo's puppy dog eyes and charm. he'll get like one sentence in and then he starts flirting with you.

he has a weekly rotation of rings and he gives you his favourite to wear, if it doesn't fit you wear it on a necklace.

he's so crazy about you, every anniversary he does something super special. he has all your favourite things memorised. your birthday and your anniversary is blacklisted from gigs because he never wants to miss an important date with you, he's so sweet.

all together now (think of this like one of those massive venn diagrams where this part is the one which all parts have in common)

it goes without saying but, for the most part, you have to be kept out of the public eye to avoid scrutiny which causes a lot of frustation. they will dress up in disguise just to take you down to a pub if needed.

you are a delight to have in the room when they're songwriting or running through a performance. you've been snuck into recording booths at points.

alright one whole band x reader for funsies. it gets very hectic keeping up with four boyfriends who are constantly touring and i feel like brian (the bug's manager if you don't know) would make a schedule. they would follow the schedule at first but it would slowly become a free for all because i feel like john would just ignore it to spend more time with you and then it just goes down hill.

[ghxstmxchine]

K hear me out, Miguel letting reader touch and grope his chest until he’s tearing up because he never realized how sensitive he was there, but now that you know you can’t seem to stop until he’s a whining moaning mess beneath you<33

ꜱᴇɴꜱɪᴛɪᴠᴇ

☆ ᴀ/ɴ: fell to my knees after reading this I absolutely had to write a lil smth for this just because I love it so much <3 first time finally posting a nsfw fic wooo!!

☆ ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟꜱ: NSFW // Miguel O'hara x gn!reader // w.c: .9k // warnings: mostly suggestive, light feminization, groping, implied bj

Miguel had been tense lately.

He always was, it wasn’t like this was something unusual. It just felt… different. You’d tried talking to him, you made him dinner and did your best to cheer him up but you felt like you were constantly hitting a wall with nowhere left to turn.

If there was one con to dating a hero this would be it, the constant grating work would eventually catch up to him and you felt stuck on the sidelines, watching it all go down. But it seemed to push you to seek out any possible solution, hoping to find some way to get him to relax.

“Just take your shirt off for Christ's sake.” You mumble at Miguel, peering up from your phone to see him hesitating for a moment. You put your phone down and motion for him to sit closer to him, climbing into his lap and brushing his hair back. “Calm down, it’s all good. M’ gonna take care of you.” “You know I have a meeting in an hour.” He sighs as he pulls his shirt off, his eyes restlessly darting around the room. 

“Yeah yeah I remember. It’s all you ever talk about.” You say as you roll your eyes, hands cupping his face, tilting his chin up and making him look at you. “Just give me this moment, alright? I’ll make sure you’re ready in time.”

He swallows, seemingly nervous, an unusual characteristic for him. You continue running your hands through his hair, gently massaging his scalp and pressing small kisses to his lips and jaw. Miguel shudders for a moment, his shoulders tensing for a moment then relaxing, falling more and more by his sides as your comforting touch explores his body. “Just like that, lemme make you feel good.” You hum against his skin, listening to his breath hitch.

You push him down on the bed, crawling closer so that you can reconnect your lips with his and he just melts against you, soft sighs of satisfaction leaving his lips every time you both pull away for air. Your hands roam over his broad shoulder, carefully massaging the muscle and watching as he visibly relaxes against the bed, the blankets and comforter swallowing him up.

“Good, just like that.” You whisper against his throat, devouring the way he shudders as your fingers trace sensitive skin. You feel a wave of tenseness wash over him due to his vulnerability and you squeeze his shoulders, pressing comforting kisses to his jaw once again. “Relax, I’ve got you.”

It was just a massage, that’s all you intended it to be. A quick and easy way to relieve at least some of the tension that’d been driving Miguel crazy lately. No other intentions hidden beneath the surface.

But when your hands smoothed over his chest, gently kneading the flesh there and he keened, arching off the bed like it was the best thing ever you couldn’t help but carried away, gently groping at his pec again and watching him react so unexpectedly, a gentle groan leaving his lips before his face darkens with a blush.

“That feel good?” You whisper, watching in amazement at how such a simple touch could drive a man wild, your hands grasping at the sensitive flesh and listening to Miguel’s sounds like it was the most delicious symphony to your ears.

He squirms, his hands tangling in the sheets as he throws his head to the side, gasping into the bed. “S’ embarrassing.” He groans, his whole body shaking when your thumb circles his nipple, making him even more flustered at his own reaction.

“It’s hot.” You correct him, breathlessly. You continue playing with his chest, squeezing and digging your fingers into the sensitive area, unable to look away from the way he throws his head back and moans with every touch. It’s mesmerizing, even more so when you notice the tears forming in his eyes just from how good it feels, his body unable to contain its reaction to the pleasure.

You lean down till your lips brush against his ear, voice low and husky. “Didn’t know you’d like getting your tits played with, huh?”

Miguel’s breathing stutters and he jolts underneath you, eyes screwing shut the same way they do when he’s about to come. “Don’t- don’t say that.” He gasps out, a sharp moan leaving him when you thumb his nipple, your other hand digging into the soft flesh of his chest. “Mm, just pointing out the obvious.” You laugh, kissing him on the lips and brushing a tear of his away. You’d never expected him to be so sensitive, much less for his chest to be his weakness, but here he was falling apart underneath you. You wanted to permanently engrain this image in your head, promising yourself you’d never forget how wrecked he looks from such a simple touch. “It feels good though?”

“Mhm- yeah fuck,” Miguel gasps, his hips weakly jolting forward. You hum with satisfaction, littering his chest with light kisses and listening to how his breathing changes so quickly, soft pants leaving his mouth. You trail down his chest, kissing above his belly button and watching how his skin trembles before following his dark happy trail down further.

Finally your lips reach his belt, pressing one last kiss to the cold metal of the buckle before looking back up at him with half-lidded eyes. “I can make you feel even better.”

“Please-” Miguel gasps, his meeting long forgotten, Or he just didn’t care anymore, not that you’d complain. You smiled, fingers moving towards his belt to begin undoing it.

“Mm, gonna make you feel so good.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Friday all. Posting a day early. I'll be gone this weekend wanted to post this before left. I pre-wrote 3x05 as well. I return Monday night So all I'll have to do next day is edit and add gifs to stay on schedule for Tues :) We are onto the next ep of Tim’s growth. I love writing about this man and the psychology behind him. To watch him develop and grow is one of my favorites things to write about and watch really. Lucy being his good influence for that growth is perfection. This is a damn good ep. Let’s keep it rolling.

3x04 Sabotage

Grey has assigned Tim and Lucy to be Jackson’s backup with Stanton. Love this btw and it's a smart play. If Stanton gives him grief they’ll be there as witnesses. Grey has them assigned to the same sector as Jackson/Doug. They hear a pedestrian stop come over the radio by Stanton. Lucy tells Tim let’s go. Her anxiety rising up. Tim calmly replies not yet. If they do Doug will realize they’re following him. I love them getting to do this together. Tim with new clarity and focus on Stanton.

Beautiful thing is he can help keep Lucy even keel. Something he is very good at. He needs to be the level head for them both. Lucy’s emotions are going to get best of her. Because her base need is to protect Jackson first. Doug be damned. Tim wants to protect them both so he’s going to be the calmer more rational one during this. I love it. Exactly what both Lucy and Jackson need. Tim’s calm leadership and cool head on their side during all this.

(I can't believe this scene isn't gif'd btw it's so good. I did my quick ones with my phone/website.)Luckily it’s a clean stop and Jackson calls it in as Code 4 all clear. We pan back to them in their shop. Lucy telling Tim it isn’t fair Jackson has to deal with this. Tim agrees and says he can’t imagine what it’s like for him. To have to ride next to a guy who’s on the edge constantly. Ready to cross the line. Lucy makes a little joke and says she can...

I mean early Tim was exactly that. Not Doug obviously but on the edge of crossing the line a lot. A time bomb ready to explode at the smallest provocation. Very early in her career she had to rein in an emotionally damaged Tim. He was in the midst of his Isabel trauma and radioactive. I know he isn’t proud of those days especially now. That he knows how lucky he was Lucy was there to stand up to him. Right his ship. Knock some sense back into him. So he didn’t end up self destructing and taking her with him.

It’s why they’re so damn solid though. Those early episodes built what they have now. As rough as they were for them both. It bonded them in a way no one can touch or understand other than them really. Lucy proving she had the backbone. Not only that but to stand up to him and make the right call when he wasn’t able to. To be that positive light and good influence that has changed him into the man he is now. What I think really sets Tim off in this scene isn’t that as much. It's part of it but not the main factor. It’s her calling him her potential Doug.

It's triggering something deep down for him. Making him face what he did on day one. I think with the clarity he has now its a tough pill to swallow. The POV and ways he’s changed himself since then he’s embarrassed to think about that now. Ashamed of that moment. That he did that bad stop, used those men in a negative light and said his non PC words. I think looking back on that he is remorseful and feels shame that he did that. He hasn't really had to face that till now.

The feelings are flooding him and he doesn't know how to handle it. When you've changed like Tim has to look back on your darker moments isn't easy. He is having a visceral reaction to it and I don't blame him. Its normal to have that reaction. What's important is what he does after this scene. After the initial shock of having to re-face it.

Lucy telling him her honest thoughts about how she felt during it only makes that worse. As much as it hurts he needed to hear this to complete his growth. I think Lucy telling him it wasn’t a good stop, wasn’t a good experience for her or those men is hitting him hard. He feels exposed and that he’s let her down. Because he has grown so much it pains him to think about how he acted. To think in that moment he disappointed her. That didn't matter back then but it sure as hell does now and that absolutely kills him.

It goes back to his insecurity about how Lucy views him. No matter what this man says her opinion of him matters a great deal to him. So to bring up one of his most shameful moments feels like an attack on that insecurity. So what does he do? Lashes out. Become defensive. Tries to defend it because if he can find a modicum of logic in what he did it’ll lessen the damage. It'll minimize her thinking less of him during that stop. He is grasping as straws during that defense. Defaults a bit back to how he used to be. When he couldn't handle his emotions. When he was a live wire flailing about with no one around to ground him.

It's a deep rooted thing he innately goes back to. Like I said before they are deep groves in his brain. He can't handle the emotions coming at him right now so he shuts down. Lucy can see she has upset him deeply by bringing this up. The way he cuts off the convo, The pre frustrated tears in his eyes, and how stiff his body language has become. Tells her he won’t talk about this further. She has hit a nerve inside him and he needs time to recoup. I think Lucy regrets bringing it up a little. She never likes to be the source of upsetting him. It produces a lovely scene later but she knows she’s hurt him.

We catch our beautiful duo walking up to a call afterwards. Lucy wants to test out the waters with him. Asking if he’s still mad at her? Tim the master of deflection says ‘I’m not mad.’ Ok honey.....Lucy doesn’t buy that for a second. I mean look at his posture he’s as stiff as a board. Tells him as such cause she can’t stand him being mad. Especially if she’s the one who caused it.

Before they can talk any further they reach the woman who made the call. Talking about a porch pirate. Tim says they’re going to do some foot patrol. See if any of the neighbors have a camera they can tap into. As they walk away Lucy looks up at him willing him to talk to her. He breaks pretty easily. Tells her he’s not mad but he is upset. Lucy with a knowing wifey smile says ‘I knew it.’ He continues on with a reply she wasn't expecting. Telling her he's not upset with her but himself. *heart clutch*

Then we see the fruit of his arc the last couple episodes in the gif above. Letting her know she was right. That he had carelessly used those gardeners without thinking of his impact on them. He owns what he did and says he can’t undo what was done. But he can make sure it never happens again. Ugh this man. I’m so proud of him. I could cry. Not only seeing he was wrong but accepting it. Saying he’ll work towards never letting it happen again.

My damn heart. The growth in this man. S1 Tim would've held onto his anger all day. Would've been short with Lucy for most of their shift. Until she forced him to confront his anger. So much progress these two. It makes me so happy. I also need to commend the hell out of Lucy. Always having the backbone to say what needs to be said to him. No one could ever have the impact she has had on him. The positive influence she’s injected into his veins and life. Damn I love them.

Lucy is beaming when he is done speaking. You can see how proud she is of him. Telling him what progress he’s made. Let’s not forget the way she touches his arm. Says she’s proud of him when she does this. You don’t have to touch him Lucy hehe but seriously touch him more LOL Her little taps of love and affection for him. I adore them so much. He tries to down play how much relief this gives him. Sarcastic in his reply. ‘I’m thrilled....’ Lying Liar who Lies.

That man is biting back a smile when he says this. Can’t even keep eye contact with her for long. Because if he does he’ll break. She will see how much it actually means to him. That her opinion of him means so much more to him than she realizes. Lucy closes out the scene with heart eye city. Girl you are working put those away baha Lucy is practically levitating off the ground with how she is looking at him in that last gif. She truly could not be prouder of him and it shows. His moral compass leveling up and she is here for it.

Their moment is broken up by them seeing a dog steal food delivery off a porch. It looks like they have found their porch pirate and he is furry haha This is such a cute and comical moment in the middle of an intense episode. Lucy is baffled by what they’re witnessing. She cracks me up with her reaction. The way they watch the dog take off in-sync is adorable. They decide to follow the dog to see where it leads them. Naturally right back to its owner. He’s all excited and happy till Tim and Lucy show up. LMAO

Tim has a funny opening line when they reach the owner. Their reactions are so funny after the guy says 'Bad dog' HA. It was some much needed levity after their tense morning. The way they look at each other at the end. Be still my heart. They always say so much with just a look. I can not with them haha Seriously look at them could they be any cuter? Mirroring body posture and the precious looks. God I love them. Getting cute aggression over here.

They head to lunch after dealing with their doggy criminal heh. Stanton comes up to Tim while he waits in line. I LOVE Tim in this scene. Getting protective over Jackson and wanting to clock Doug. Mmm gimme. Tim tries to take a pot shot and see if it gets through. Tim thinks it does at first then Doug takes it the wrong way. Blaming Angela and not himself for Jackson's behavior. Classic narcissistic douche. Tim's body language says it all. Looks like he wants wipe the floor with Stanton's face so much. Me too love me too...

After lunch they’re having a little pow wow together. I love this scene. Both of them in alignment talking about Stanton. A united front against him as it should be. Lucy is venting to Tim about how unfair this is. How Stanton is getting away with murder. Just like earlier Tim is the steady eddy one for her. Trying to keep her calm with logic and what they’re faced with.

Lucy desperately wants a Tim Bradford sideways thinking solution to this. To have an out of the box thought from him to save Jackson from Doug. Seeing how flawed the system is driving her nuts. She is desperate to get Jackson out of this situation. Sadly there is no sideways solution to this one as Tim states above. Just like with Nolan in 3x01 they have to play the game. Even when the game feels rigged af.

He’s solid in his reasoning as to why they need to. The same system that protected Nolan in 3x01 sadly also protects people like Stanton. It’s maddening and infuriating to think it could represent both. Tim is right is they don’t play this exactly right he gets away with murder. Becomes even worse than before because he beat the system. A cancer like that spreads and spreads quickly. Lucy is seeing what he is saying even if it annoys the crap out of her.

I just adore him coming to her side of thinking. He is viewing this in a whole light cause of her. Tim is able to keep her steady while they play the long game with Stanton. I love the way he listens to her towards the end of the scene. She has completely changed his outlook towards this and it shows. How intently he’s paying attention to her words and emotions. I love it sfm. Lucy is so defeated and you can tell Tim wants to do so much more than they currently are.

Tim decides they need to be doing more than they are. He grant's Lucy her wish for a sideways solution. He’s decided to take Lucy to meet Doug’s old rookie Owens. His previous rookie was a black man as mentioned by Doug earlier. Tim is hoping he has dirt on Doug. Something actionable they can use to strengthen their case. Tim warns Lucy to play this by the book. Not to tip their hand and get too protective of Jackson. Playing the game to get something solid. No accusations and no demands. Just info.

Tim has it handled at first....Doing code of silence. Having all three of them turning off their body cams. They do it Tim’s way for about two seconds LOL They’re able to get out of him that Doug is a hater. Lucy gets impatient though with the double speak. Says let’s just say what we mean. Do you thing Doug is a racist? Tim’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull. haha His ballsy wife just going for it. He tries to do damage control after that with this guy. Seeing if they can salvage anymore info.

Lucy has spooked him a bit and he’s starting to retract. So she comes at him hard since the politeness is gone. Asking if he’s ever seen him doing anything unlawful against minorities? If he’s ever seen him treat them unfairly. Owens gets defensive and says if he had he would’ve been breaking the rules by not reporting it. Tim says they’re not here for that they just want him to be real with them. He has been creating grief on their end.

Owens spooks more says Doug could make or break his career. He’s weeks away from Metro. Can’t throw it all away now. Lucy tries one more time and ask about all the people he’s hurting? He hesitates then says they’re good people but he doesn’t know them. That he can’t help them and takes off.

Lucy is bummed and says that was a bust… Tim actually sees something positive. Says he saw how conflicted he was. To give it time for him to come around. So proud of him for not jumping all over her for not following his play. That her aggressive tactic led to a result of some kind for them. How far we’ve come ❤️

Sadly their interaction with Owens backfires horribly. He warns Doug about what they’re doing. So he tests Jackson acts like he lost his body cam and is gonna beat the crap of of their suspect. Tells Jackson to watch the drugs and he doesn’t.... Tim and Lucy pull up and that’s when they find out Owens stabbed them in the back. The suspect is fine and Doug leads on he knows what they're doing.. It sucks. The look between Tim and Lucy is everything. He's got them beat at the moment.*sigh*

The final scene for Tim is SO good. I couldn't be prouder. I know Lucy would be as well. Also I'm a little hot under the collar watching him action. The way he goes to the mat for Jackson. It’s sexy af. How he comes at this guy. Get ‘em Tim! The turn around in him is unreal. Went from 'It is what it is. '' The system will never change.' To backing Jackson and standing up for what’s right. This scene reminds me of the story about the starfish on the beach and the little kid trying to save them all.

This little kid sees a beach full of dying starfish washed up on miles of beach. He keeps tossing as many as he can back into the ocean. A grumpy old man comes up tells him there are hundreds of starfish and miles of beach. That he can’t make a difference. He picks another one up chucks it into the ocean and says ‘I made a difference to that one.’

Jackson is Tim’s starfish. He’s going to make a difference for him. Take down Stanton cause it’s the right thing to do. Save future rookies and suspects from his skewed POV of the world. Owens is the old man saying they can't make a difference. So why even bother? He tells them they’re fighting a rigged system. They’ll never win and Doug won’t go down without a fight...How true those words will be in the next ep.

~~~~

Side notes non-chenford

Nice to see Nyla get a little flirting action. I don’t like her with this guy but still good for her to have someone post-Donovan to get the ball rolling.

John’s SL with his mom is rough. But I have to commend him (I know I rarely do that lol) to cut his toxic mother off. His line ‘ I love you I’ll always love you. I just don’t want to see you anymore.’ Damn that’s rough and yet I get it. I wish I could do that with mine. She’s just as narcissistic and manipulative as John’s is so props for doing that for his mental Well being. I actually envy him in this moment.

Wopez’s baby SL was stressful I did love Nyla being there for her through it though. Also watching Lopez destroy her boss about being pregnant then have to walk it back LOL gotta love Angela.

Thank you as always to those who continue to support these reviews. The likes/comments/reblogs are everything to me. So thank you all. See you all in 3x05 :)

[embersofhope-if]

46 with Creon, please? 👀

46: “ Can I kiss you right now? ”

Wordcount: 1.09k

I did write this for a relatively possessive Mc but other than that there aren't any trigger warnings

Escaping to the balcony does almost nothing to relieve the mounting headache that I can already tell is going to leave me sick for the rest of the night. It’s too much. The music, the shouting, the expensive perfumes that mix with the smell of the food; it’s all so nauseating.  

I want to leave. I just want to go back to my room and curl up under the covers and forget where I am. I’d pretend I’m back home; warm and safe in my own bed with Hope lying next to me. I’d pretend that I have no worries, and tomorrow would be full of nothing but school and stopping by the bakery to grab some bread. I’d pretend that people back home like me more than anyone here does. It’s not true, but if I’m going to play pretend, I might as well make the daydream as nice as it can get.  

I’m half tempted to just stay out here till the night is over. There are only two people in this entire city that would notice I’m gone, and I haven’t seen either of them since the night began. Uncle Keyon is probably off playing nice with some important person that I’ll never get the chance to meet, and Creon is off becoming the new politician that everyone is desperate to have a conversation with. I got a quick hello with them early in the night, but I haven’t had the chance to track them down again.  

They’re constantly moving; making sure that everyone is chasing them instead of them being the one forced to chase. It seems so exhausting, but they somehow manage to make it look easy. I should be proud of them; they’re making their dreams come true, but every time I watch them smile and laugh, I feel like I’m going to choke on my jealousy.  

Maybe that’s why I hate these parties so much. Every minute I’m forced to socialize with these people, I am constantly reminded that Creon Levesque will always belong to the Capitol and not me.  

I hate it. I hate everything here. The only thing about the Capitol that I don’t hate is Creon and they will forever be just out of my reach. There is no world where we could ever really be with each other despite what they try to tell me, and I’m forced to be okay with that.  

The fact that I can so easily be worked up over this might be what I hate the most. How am I supposed to prove to these people that I’m worth their time if I’m on the brink of tears whenever I think about Creon and me too long. Honestly, it’s incredibly embarrassing.  

I have to pull myself together.  

I take several breaths and lean onto the balcony trying to think about anything that isn’t the Capitol.  

Ash. Hope. Calliope. Home. Creon. 

Surprisingly it works. I’m able to take a deep breath without feeling like I’m drowning. The air is crisper than it is back home but it's close enough for me to pretend. I keep my eyes shut and lean farther onto the balcony as I continue to breathe; completely missing the fact that somebody has joined me. 

“It’s honestly impressive just how easily you manage to vanish.” 

 I open my eyes abruptly, startled by the familiar voice that breaks through my thoughts. Creon stands beside me, their gaze fixated on the city lights. A weak smile tugs at my lips. “I wasn’t trying to vanish; I just needed a moment.” 

Creon chuckles softly. “Well, I’m glad I found you. It’s overwhelming in there, isn’t it?” 

I nod in agreement, grateful for their understanding. “Yeah, it’s a bit much.” 

They lean on the railing beside me, their presence comforting. “You know, sometimes I feel the same way. All of this, it can get suffocating.” 

I meet their eyes, surprised by their admission. “Really?” 

Creon gives me a genuine smile. “Yeah, really. I mean I enjoy it but sometimes I get tired of everyone watching me; waiting for me to mess up.” 

Their vulnerability surprises me. Creon, of all people being tired of attention really isn’t something I expected. They’ve always seemed to thrive in the spotlight. Like they were made to be looked at and listened to, but that’s what they want everyone to see isn’t it? It’s so easy to believe it even when I know that’s not who Creon truly is. 

Their gaze shifts from the city lights to meet my eyes, and a fleeting emotion passes between us. “It’s all fake everybody knows it, yet we still do it anyways. I still do it anyways.” 

“Why do you do all of this if you know its fake?” I ask, only realizing how rude it sounded after I said it out loud. 

“Because it’s what I was made to do. It's who I am,” They respond contemplatively. They’re still staring at me and I feel like I can almost see the gears turning in their head. They want to say something else I can tell, but after a moment they shake their head apparently deciding that it wasn’t important.  

We both just stand there staring at each other. Their gaze so intense I think they might be trying to memorize every feature on my face, then they take another step closer, their hand grazing mine on the railing. “Can I ask you something?” 

I hold their gaze, my heart racing at the anticipation in the air. “Of course.” 

A soft smile graces Creon’s lips, their voice dropping to a gentle whisper. “Can I kiss you right now?” 

My heart skips a beat, and for a moment, the world seems to hold its breath. This is a distraction I can tell. Whatever they decided not to say is still racking their brain and half of me wants to stop and force them to tell me. But the other half of me is trapped in their eyes making it impossible to resist. With a mixture of nerves and excitement, I give a hesitant but eager nod. 

As Creon’s lips meet mine, the world around us fades into the background. It's as if all the doubts and worries melt away in that single, electrifying moment. The touch of their lips against mine feels like the culmination of all those unspoken words. For one heavenly moment Creon Levesque is here and they are completely and totally mine. 

[fandomdaydreamer]

Of a Sun and Flower

Pt. 2 You Fit Me

Pairing: Pedro Pascal/OFC

Summary: Conflict induces a positive development when Nini meets the right person at the right time.

Warnings: alcohol, drug use, a psychoanalysis by someone who is not in any kind of medical field (me), symptoms of anxiety and depression, mentions of past abuse and overdose, domestic fights (with resolution, phew)

Notes: Well well well, if it isn't my late ass. Sorry, is all I can say. Life gets in the way and this chapter was fkn hard to write. Actually, I'm working on making Book 1 a real novel now, might be a real published author. Wheee

Also find this fic on Ao3 -here- or the series' Masterlist -here-

Length: 8.8k

~

You Fit Me

The floor was littered with old chewing gum and spilt, sticky puddles of alcohol when I lowered my gaze at my mechanically piloted feet. It was hot, too hot underneath my wig, too hot between these strange bodies. With nothing but numbness in my mind, I made my hips sway to the rhythm of the heavy beat, felt the base resonate in my chest and alter my perception as my nostrils filled with the scent of people's sweat, cheap liquor and the stale dampness of the fog machines.

My eyes wandered into the dark corners of the club, where hidden figures were locked in a passionate kiss or lived out their high with their mouths wide open as they gazed into the flickering lights. They were but quick illuminations of limbs and faces, pale picture frames of colourful people dancing to a heavy electronic beat. A hypnotic voice was singing and people upon people danced to it like they were in a trance. The air was thick and condensation threatened to drip from the ceiling. It was easy to be sucked into their midst, give in to the alluring promise of forgetful hedonism and just float into the river Styx. Float into another dimension while fate would handpick the gluttons who would descend into the third circle of hell.

What would Pedro say if he saw me like this? Not having fun and denying myself any peace. Was I pretending to push myself into a nihilist universe to chase fatalism and toxicity? A blind person would have been able to see it.

Maybe I wasn't drunk enough to stop my mind from constantly wandering back home and wane between regret and anger. However, I was intoxicated enough to tilt my head into the sticky air, close my eyes and remain in the eternal Asphodel meadows for a little while longer. I felt so alone yet free of all that I knew. An anonymous, ordinary soul drifting through the night.

My state in limbo felt complete until a slimy touch seized my hip and I was promptly forced to take a step away. "No!" My protest fell on deaf ears.

"C'mon, baby. You gotta try this!" A guy in a gay club of all places forced a shot on me. He waved a friend over who brought more glasses that were filled with some kind of dark liquid.

I batted his wandering hands away and yelled at him to leave me alone.

"Fucking fa-." I could read the slur from his lips before he took another leering step towards me. How easily his words shattered against the heavy armour I had braced my soul with.

"She said no, dickface! Fuck off!" A woman with rhinestone eyebrows stepped in. Her shrill voice was loud against the music and she shoved him away. She flipped the man off and cackled at the range of slurs he threw back at us. "You okay?" My saviour hollered in my direction once he'd left us alone on the dance floor.

"Yeah, thank you!" I yelled back. I had seen and gone through worse things. Infinitely worse. "I'm sorry-" I gestured aimlessly when everything became too much anyway. In an attempt to escape, I made my way through the crowd and to the bathrooms.

I had no clue how much time I spent trying to sober up inside the stall that was plastered with graffiti and scribbles. A stick figure lay horizontal with x's crossed over instead of their eyes and memories of last summer flashed through my mind. Overdosed eyes had glazed over into a blur and I recalled how scary it had been to not be able to move my body as I nearly choked on foam and vomit. In a hazy fever dream, Pedro had found me just in time and in the worst way possible. How terrified he'd been. How stupid I felt about the way I behaved again.

In my overwhelmed state, I kept ignoring my phone as it buzzed for the millionth time this night. Pedro's ID blinked up again, the pet name I gave him mocked me along with all the hearts we'd sent back and forth in our recent past. Such a stark contrast to his currently unanswered texts. I wasn't tone-deaf to their urgency.

01:34 - Baby, I just need to know if you're ok, then I'll let you do your thing. Promise

Can you please pick up?

02:04 - Where are you? I can come and pick you up, wherever you are. I'm not mad at you

02:11 - Please just tell me you're safe

02:50 - Leonie, this has to stop! You've made your point ok?

03:00 - I swear tfg, the least you could do is answer! You care at all??

03:01 - *(Angel deleted this message)*

03:02 - Pick up the fucking phone.

The last text, I imagined he had written before pulling his hair out in sheer frustration. A full stop. Yikes.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself.

Inside the filthy stall, I closed my hands over my eyes and slumped over with my elbows resting on my knees. I tried willing my cramp to go away or at least deal with the pain of heavy guilt setting into another part of my stomach. "I'm such a fucking fraud," I admitted to myself in a moment of clarity and regret. Impulsive and short-tempered Leonie van Fleet, the misophonic asshole who doesn't know what she's doing, everyone. Round of applause.

A voice in the stall next to mine ripped me out of my thoughts. "Does anybody have a tampon?" They asked obnoxiously above the dull sound of thumping music.

"I do! Hold up." I yelled back immediately, pondering on my last one and deciding giving it away would limit my time here but maybe having no other choice was a good thing. "I'll trade you for some toilet paper." I put my hands through the bottom of the stall door and crouched down, hoping I wouldn't lose my balance when chipped white nail polish met equally broken black polish as they grabbed for the tampon.

"Thank you so fucking much. My night is saved." They said, made the exchange and I felt dizzy when I decided to end my crisis and finish up myself. "No problem, that's what uterus pals are for." I slurred before flushing and walking up to the sink. I felt a little more drunk than I had originally thought.

"What was that you were saying?" The voice sounded nasal like it's been through quite a bit of crying before. "You're a fraud? What do you mean by that?"

Nosey, this one.

"I mean uh... I'm pretending to be this destructive version of myself. Or what am I doing here?" I was reeling with thoughts while washing my hands with barely existent soap. With no option to dry them in sight, I let the water drip as I stared at my reflection. A stranger stared back, a vision of everything gone wrong.

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it." The voice ripped me out of my tunnel vision again.

I crossed my arms and the words somehow kept flowing out almost too easily. "I just keep making the wrong decisions," I spoke above the sound of the distant, thumping beat. "Just don't know why. Maybe just to punish myself for my perfect life." I narrated my unthought-through, impulsive actions and concluded my crisis with the afterthought of a selfish brat. "You know what? What's worse is that all I do is punish the person that matters to me most."

"Huh." The toilet flushed and out the stall came the same woman from earlier and a look of recognition washed over our faces. "Oh, it's you!" We burst out at the same time. She was of similar height, maybe in her early forties but it was impossible to say with that skincare routine she had going for her. Apart from the eccentric decorations on her face, she had black shiny hair and red-painted lips. "The self-punishment over a hypothetical would make sense if you think you might not deserve the positive things in your life. Have you been through some shit? Apologies for assuming-" She washed her hands messily and also noticed the lack of soap. "I'm drunk."

My brain caught up with her a second later. "Yeah, horrendous stuff." I dramatised in my tipsy state and leaned my weight against the neighbouring sink.

I lacked the ability to comprehend how she could have been so spot-on at first sight. Maybe my cry for help was painted above my head as obvious as the neon sign of this club. The woman spoke with an equal amount of compassion and anger. "Many of us have. Bullied and chased out of our homes. Fewer rights as a marginalised group. It's worse even for the trans community. So many places where you must have felt not accepted. I'm sorry, that had to be tough."

"I'm... Yes, that's true but I'm not trans." I informed her with a smile, amused she'd thought I was.

She froze like an elephant in a porcelain shop. "That wig-"

"It's a wig, yes." She had a fair point for assuming. It was a high probability in a queer scene club like this and my heavy makeup and a wig I hadn't even glued on.

"Well..." She grinned, making it obvious to me that my hairline was crappy enough for me to not pass as a woman. "Anyway then, your partner, she's the best thing in your life and you're emotionally dependent on her?" She asked before bending down and took a sip straight from the tap.

Feeling like such a fraud again, I suddenly felt ashamed. I was out of place. "He is. I hope I'm not but the truth is, I couldn't live without him. He's the best thing in my life." I corrected her and she coughed into the stream.

"Damn, I assumed you'd at least be part of the L in the alphabet mafia. What were the odds?" "No, it's fine. We're in a queer club so... I'm sorry for invading this space. I guess I just wanted a peaceful night out. Can't escape men anywhere though. Surprise." I chuckled at her before being serious again. "Karma. I haven't been treating my partner well these past couple of months." Suddenly admitting it felt devastating and my voice quivered so much, it made her turn her entire body and meet me with a worried frown. "I had a very abusive dad and I'm afraid, so fucking afraid I'm the abuser now." I was taken aback by my confession, for it was so unlike me to bring up my past, let alone to a stranger. However, there was something about this woman. Something so comforting and familiar, I had to reveal a well-hidden part of my life to an equally drunk stranger in a filthy bathroom.

Yet I received nothing but her entire attention and while her presence felt comforting, her voice was clear and cool as ice. "My best guess is you have tried to cope with everything yourself, depending on whatever distracted you and fed your love deprivation." She deducted.

I gaped at her. "How-"

"Do you mind?" She pulled a cigarette from a battered package and I shook my head 'no' when she offered me one. "I think I get it now. Wait for it-" She climbed onto the heater and blew smoke out of the tiny window. For a moment, she digested the first drag, smoking in a kind of club where nobody would bat an eye anyway. I felt like a lost little kitten, staring up at her with big hungry eyes. It nearly seemed she gathered information by scanning me from head to toe. "You have some kind of European accent, maybe you were new here at some point and lonely. You're a petite, pretty little thing with daddy issues in a queer club, still unable to escape that predatory behaviour from earlier. So in theory, you know how to protect yourself because you had trauma to deal with but you feel deep hurt all the time. Plus, a loving partner and a domestic fight, equals the fragile state you're in. Babe, you're trying to run away from happiness. It's called self-sabotage."

My throat hurt from having swallowed too hard. Mind completely blank from unadulterated surprise, I stuttered. "Self- self-sabotage... is that what this is?"

She clicked her tongue. "It's a behaviour that makes you think you have control over the negative outcome of your actions and be in charge of your pain. It's not real. You're just calming yourself with predictability." She had opened her arms like she had presented me with a magic trick and I was the stupified spectator who couldn't appreciate her art form. Although, what she said, sounded perfectly logical.

Impressed by her quick mind, I stood there with a frown between my brows while I took my time to process. "I was not expecting free therapy at three in the morning," I said numbly.

"Surprise." She grinned like a Cheshire cat despite the thin veil of tears that was still evident in her eyes.

"Are you in a psychological field of any kind? You seem so..." I tried to think of a better word than 'intelligent' and a kinder word than 'crazy yet wise. "Analytical."

She disposed of the burning cigarette through the crack in the window and hopped down to me. "Psychiatrist in crisis." She winked before turning to the mirror and giving her lips a fresh coat of red paint. A burst of frustration made her voice quiver. "But I have come to the realisation my work is fruitless in a world where people keep having normal fucking reactions to toxic post-capitalism. I'll never accomplish anything." She stopped doing her makeup to let go of her rage as she reenacted a conversation with one of her patients. "Oh, you're having a burnout and you live in a constant state of anxiety? You're a single mom working two jobs and you still can't pay rent let alone your medical bills but sure, you must have problems because Mercury is in retrograde." She was close to crying again and angrily tossed her lipstick into her purse. "I'm supposed to help people but all I see are unsolvable problems and stupid shit." She stared ahead in a nearly manic way and then breathed out like she was trying to get it out of her system.

Our tearful eyes locked in the mirror and I felt we had bonded in that moment. "I'm Giulia." My new companion introduced herself then.

"Nini." We shook hands and I came straight back to the point with something she said that had bothered me. "How did you know I have some unresolved issues?"

She didn't conceal an ironic smile. "You were talking to yourself in a bathroom stall. That's not a tough one to guess." She was right and my eyes started to become blurry before she interrupted me with a suggestion. "Wanna go outside? Dr Oswald will see you now." She offered with the grin of a siren who seemed to lure me in with a promising song of mental stability. After a short consideration, I sighed and nodded.

My path tonight had brought me to a club with a bright pink neon sign buzzing above its entrance. This hole-in-the-ground club's heavy electro-dance beat could only be revealed when its doors swung open. After falling shut, the soundproofing reduced the thumping music down to a dull ache in my memory. Some friends had shown me 'Nomi's' a few years ago and my disguise was either good enough to remain anonymous or simply nobody was bothered by the fact that a celebrity, and a hetero-normative one at that, was floating through an LGBTQ scene. The buff goth lady simply nodded at us before setting us free into the cold night.

Giulia poked me in the arm. "You hungry? I'm starving."

I shuffled about in the cold, considering if my anxiety was treatable with some food, then everything would be fine again. "I could eat."

"Wanna get kebab or pizza?" She held onto a street light and swung around playfully.

The corners of my mouth turned down into pathetic pout. "Chicago pizza?"

She smiled and frowned at the same time. "Yeah, why not? I know a place that's still open."

We talked on our entire way to the pizza place, shared our worries and doubts and she listened like we were two old friends who had finally reconnected but had never grown apart. The more she poured her interest into my problems, the more she lit up and somehow, I had overshared my entire trauma history. I was free to pretend to just be someone ordinary while in reality, I was opening up to a past life my public persona only dealt with when ugly rumours after a speculative peer-review turned into invasive interview questions. Giulia on the other hand had no idea who I was. To her, I was just another lost person.

The buzz of the alcohol had somewhat lessened during our cold morning walk. Some delis were already opening their shops for the day while the pizza place served their last customers.

A chosen New Yorker claiming Chicago-style pizza was superior was a dangerous opinion to have. Yet, I never felt more certain of it when the cheese string connecting to my piece seemed to never end. I chuckled darkly and groaned in delight while Giulia gave me an approving "Yeees, get in there."

"All I needed was some damn pizza." I sighed lowly, and yet again, battled my crisis with humour. "Can you believe that my ex-therapist advised me to go on a crash diet? All he wanted to talk about was my weight and my sex life. He wanted to stop me from being a massive kinky bitch and why would I want that?" Both of us cackled.

"Shit." She frowned, the doctor having a habit of leaning into me when she found something interesting. "I don't get how someone like that is able to keep a license."

"Yeah! Right?" I cried out, mouth full of hot pizza. I found enjoyment in being a hot mess when I mimicked his voice. "Oh, doesn't matter if you have a drug history. I have you under my wing, this is completely safe. Now here's some Ketamine. And boom, I'm dealing with withdrawal, cheers. Thanks a lot, dickhead."

"You weren't safe with him. Therapy shouldn't be manipulative." Dr Oswald stated.

"I swear, I have no verbal filter anymore. Being off meds is the worst." Though I had conveniently left out the part that I was famous, I remembered we were still in public and I shouldn't talk about too private things. I stared into the starless night above Manhattan and missed them as much as my sanity. "I can't help missing this... howling loneliness and complete lack of ego inside what was just mind fog." There wasn't any other way to describe ketamine to me. My nose clogged up at the pain and struggle of it all. "My sweet boyfriend- I was so mean to him and I know I'm also on my period and extra mean and the sauce I made was way too runny!" I sobbed at this point, nearly inarticulate, drifting off towards a point that was still very important to me.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad." "It was practically water!" I sobbed out at the memory of our unsatisfactory dinner last night, shoulders shaking from crying.

"No... I meant what you said about being mean." She clarified while I suppressed a threatening hiccup. "What's your underlying concern?" Doc redirected our conversation with an annoyingly stereotypical therapy question but I guessed that had to be part of it.

"You know, I lost my cat-" A gulp broke my speech and I breathed until I got it together. "And it shouldn't feel this marginal but watching her die and realising I wasn't over my mum's death and feeling this profound sense of grief made me realise that maybe I don't want to be loved like that when I die. This much." Thick drops of tears streamed down my face and I knew I must have not made a lot of sense. "Never expressing this much love again. Feel the way I'm feeling... in that moment. I never stopped grieving and I figured, if he'd hate me, that would be easier."

The look she gave me was one of full understanding. "Go on, you got this." She encouraged me with a firm hand on my shoulder.

I wiped my face with my sleeve, snot, tears and makeup got stuck on the black fabric. "You know what my angel said? He said he could never hate me and he would never regret loving me, that I taught him that." I stifled myself with more pizza.

"Sounds like your person is there to help you navigate your pain," Doc said. "Maybe you're looking to become the people who would rather love like no one has ever loved before than to avoid the greatest suffering."

It seemed Pedro and I kept growing together. Through good and bad times. Despite the hardship, we still remained a unit and maybe that was all that mattered.

I soon rediscovered that food made everything better again and I filled the hole in my soul with cheese until my phone started buzzing in my pocket. Pedro was calling again.

"That's him?" Giulia asked with a look at the caller ID showing that 'Angel' with a load of heart emojis was calling. I showed her a picture of him and me together from our last New Year's celebration and she cooed at our big smiles. "I miss him," I admitted.

"He looks sweet. A bit... older than you, I guess?" She slurred back.

Bless her heart, she didn't recognise him either. "A bit." I downplayed our eighteen-year age gap. "Truth is, I am lucky to be with this treasure of a man, he's kind, sexy, smart and so talented." I gushed over him.

"But you've not communicated about your argument?" A slight smile spread on her lips despite her seriousness and somehow, I saw someone competent past those rhinestone eyebrows.

"No. I ran. Like always." I said in pure disappointment in myself. "I don't know if I fucked up for good this time. I can be such a bitch these days. But imagine me going home after this, what the fuck." I chewed slowly. "He already worries so much." I already knew my eyes were puffy and my lips were swollen from biting them. "Pedro thought he'd get a fun and bubbly, nurturing girlfriend but then he met my insecure dramatic traumatised and needy ass. What if I can't give him everything he deserves? He somehow still settled for me." A fresh tear ran down my cheek, this time I thought it might have been a happy one.

"You don't think your relationship is healthy?" Doc asked with a cough and I shrugged my shoulders. My fingers played with my sea glass necklace. "Do you think it's bad that... I don't feel like I'm not constantly on fire?"

"You think about the mind games that kept you interested?" "Don't call me out like that." My eyes narrowed.

"Let me ask you something. Does your relationship feel like an up-and-down roller coaster?"

I felt stupified and stammered out. "No?"

She kept insisting. "When someone has a hard time, do you make time to be there for the other? Not to improve things but just to be there."

"We can be miles away from each other at times but... yes. He's my lighthouse." I smiled widely despite her not getting the reference.

Giulia licked sauce off her thumb. "Do you bring the inner child up in each other?"

"Always." I laughed with tears in my eyes at every happy memory. I recalled our Christmases, birthdays, interviews and public events or simply the ordinary evenings just between the two of us.

Dr Oswald's shoulders relaxed with a sigh. "I think your relationship is more than healthy. Healthier than average couples. Don't let your insecurities talk you down, grow from them." With that, she shoved her last bite of pizza into her mouth and clapped her hands-free from crumbs.

My eyes skipped between her and the floor awkwardly. "Thanks, I guess."

She hummed before sharing an amused memory. "When my ex was fed up with me, I made her a sock puppet and tried to talk about it. She never called again." She demonstrated it with her glove. "Why don't you trust people?" She voiced her hand.

I gave her a fond smile as we began our walk back. "You're weird," I said with a chuckle as I retrieved a pre-rolled blunt from my purse and held it up to Giulia in an offer.

She grinned before passing me her lighter. "You're a cliché." She watched me light joint and take a practiced drag of the spicy herb.

"You're the one who said she dismembered Barbies as a kid." I countered with a deep exhale.

"Don't pretend you're not just as weird. You probably tortured your Sims or played with scary spiders or something." Giulia assumed, judging by my goth outfit by all accounts before taking a drag herself.

I couldn't help but play a joke on her. "There were indeed only spiders in the basement to play with," I commented dryly and her eyes closed while mine widened. Having just listened to the story of my sad childhood and the fact that my father used to lock me up in the cellar, she choked on the smoke. For a moment we were both shocked by my words until I noticed she was slowly breaking into laughter. She tried to keep it behind her hand but now we were both finished trying to hold back and instead of trying to work through and process my trauma, we let go of a hollering laugh. She at least tried to remain decent. "That's not funny. That's so not... funny."

I thought I was allowed to think it was. "It's a bit funny." She shook her head no, tearing up when she gave me my weed back. "See, you helped me already. I could talk about my dad without having an emotional breakdown. It's been easier already but I haven't felt this... relieved in a long time." I blinked away my tears stubbornly, finally admitting to myself that I was not fine and I was constantly reacting to my trauma. I decided then and there that if I would ever mistreat a future child of mine, I would not deserve to waste any more oxygen on this world. "You're really good at this. Knocking sense into people." I said sincerely.

"I appreciate you trying to end my lost cause. You made me feel like I'm not a total failure after all." She said on our way back through the calm side alleys. Our steps echoed from the red brick stone walls as we passed the joint back and forth.

"Are you kidding me? I appreciate your work so much. You do matter. This was... this was really helpful. I mean it." I saw her bottom lip trembling at my promise.

"Thank you. You're very nice."

Like a cool cat, I flicked the joint away. "I have my moments." She let me drape my arm across her shoulders as we made our way out of the last alley.

The night was slowly lifting and my mind felt light as a feather when the club came back into view. "I don't think I'll go back inside again." I said at the end of our journey.

Giulia turned and her hands clapped onto her sides with a sigh. "Now imma tell you what I'd say as a therapist and imma tell you what I'd say as a parent from an Italian household." She took a step closer and lowered her voice, her concern sounding far from patronising. "I would very much like to test you for PTSD and bipolar disorder and I want to break down generational trauma and introduce you to the right medication and progressive, beneficial habits because you girl, are not making wise choices." She finally put her finger down. "Second, and this is my nonna speaking-" Suddenly she raised her voice and I jumped. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET YOUR ASS HOME, PRONTO." She gestured like her Italian grandma and I chirped out a laugh.

"O-okay." I was met with a passionate grin I had to somewhat dampen. "PTSD has kind of already been diagnosed though." A deep intuitive feeling matched and I somehow knew she would be able to help me.

"No depression?" "It's more of an anxiety disorder." "Shame. People with depression have the best Spotify playlists."

I blinked at the sound of her disappointment. "I would very much like to become your patient." I decided then and there.

"Fantastic." She wrestled her hand into her boot in return to give me a white business card with a font that promised a brutalist interior design. 'M.D. G. Oswald' written on it with an office address in Manhattan not far from here.

"Fancy," I noted and tucked it away into my bra. She seemed genuinely happy at the encounter. "God knows, I've made my partner age ten years tonight. After this-" I began to walk backwards towards the street. "I owe him a lifetime of happiness... and no more runny sauces."

"Try creme fraiche next time." Giulia advised me and the only thing I could do was comment with an awkward 'ah.

I shifted my weight from one to the other foot, pointing in the direction of an approaching cab. "I should probably... I'll give you a call." I turned one last time after I had already managed to hail it. "Hey Doc, one more thing."

"What?"

I couldn't have addressed her with a sterner tone as I stood by the open door of my ride. "If you ever tell me I need to forgive my dad, I'll be out the door." I threatened and at first she looked puzzled, but then saluted me in understanding and we smiled at each other.

I was already inside the taxi when she whistled sharply with her fingers and provoked me to roll the window down. "Ey, one last word of advice." She began as she stood in front of the door back where our journey had originally started. "Make up with your fella. If he's mad, suck his dick. He'll get over it."

"Amen!" A bunch of suddenly cheerleading people roaming the club's entrance in their colourful outfits contributed with loud and some lewd additions.

I nodded and sank a little deeper into my seat with my cheeks heating up at her thumbs up. "Thanks." Giulia slapped the roof of my taxi for goodbye and as I drove off, I looked back to see her going back inside the club.

~~~

At around five in the morning, the house was dark and perfectly quiet. Everything seemed to go according to plan if it meant Pedro had finally gone to sleep. The key and wind chime at the door hardly made a noise when I crept inside, yet having to greet a pathetically whining Edgar who had been waiting for me on the doormat required an advanced level of discreteness. "Hey, good boy, hi! Oh, dear. Oh, dear." I went over to pacify our boy before I snuck inside bare feet with my shoes dangling from my fingers.

Completely parched, I passed into the kitchen, unloaded all of my belongings onto the counter and fumbled at my earrings with a sigh. My mouth tasted weird.

I was stretching towards the glasses when sudden bright headlight illuminated the entire room and scared the living hell out of me. His sudden appearance had been nearly enough to drop my glass before I could even retrieve it from the cupboard. "Kut, fuck! You scared me!" I cursed after swishing around to see one particular unpleased Pedro in the French doorway. His frown only deepened and he gave me a thin-lipped stare as he leaned against the frame and crossed his toned arms over his chest.

I knew I had to look like an absolute mess, yet I gestured around as if I couldn't see what the point of him busting me like a naughty teenager was. This was terribly like a bad childhood memory of my father doing practically the same thing, the only difference was that I wasn't scared of Pedro. He was dressed in his old pyjamas and his hair was adorably ruffled post-shower but his softness was entirely replaced by harsh tension. Deep bags cast a shadow underneath his eyes and it was then that I noticed the sheen of tears in their hardness, something between pure anger and also, relief.

"Hi." I gulped, sensing I was in deep trouble regardless. I slowly pulled my wig off my head, discarding the long black strands as they flowed off my shoulders. He didn't echo my greeting as usual.

My eyes skipped to the floor at the sight of his obvious disappointment in me and I wondered if I would manage to raise any kind of reaction from him other than eyes that stared daggers into my soul. Pedro's anger was a chilling thing to behold. It was rare.

His chest first expanded and he tore his hand over his mouth like he needed to stop all the necessary curses from tumbling out with his next exhale. "How was it?" He asked instead, ironically with a sharp edge to each word. His eyes radiated a kind of severe heat that promised this was merely the calm before the storm.

I forced myself not to stutter but my heart beat out of my chest. "It was... nice. I feel good. Really good. Better um... I thought you'd maybe be asleep by the time I get home."

"Oh, really?" He parroted with dripping sarcasm, finally stepping down the few stairs and stalking intimidatingly closer. I shrunk underneath him and bumped into the counter, wincing at his proximity more than the impact. "Where were you?" He growled, jaw clicking.

Irritation glared up at me at his patronising tone and I realised I wasn't done provoking him after all. It was like I couldn't stop myself. With an attitude, I raised my chin and snarked up at him. "Why does it matter? I'm no longer there."

"Did you take anything?" He turned my face into the light above with force and I blinked, irritated at the examination. The light was too bright and his grip pinched my cheeks a little too harsh for his gentle character. He held heated eye contact that made my pride resolve and finally crumble. "Leonie, did you take anything?" He bit down at me after he couldn't detect something unusual about the dilation reflex in my pupils.

I freed myself from his grasp. "No, I didn't! Let go of me." I pouted childishly and he let it be for the moment, stepping back and letting me go like my touch burned him. "I'm fine!" I added when he walked away from me.

He faced the garden, his broad back casting a shadow onto the blueish-hued floor when I dared to speak up again. "I'm... I'm tired. I think I should just go to bed." I tried to sneak my way out but he was quicker to strut to the couch and toss me a pillow.

"No, you're not." He ordered, clearly insinuating I was sleeping here tonight.

"Fine." I bit out and aggressively fumbled with a blanket while he turned around and didn't take another look at me. A gush of air pushed through his nose when he walked past me.

I could only watch as he went to leave, a rush of sympathy and guilt provoking me to finally do the right thing. "I'm s-"

He broke off my apology. "Go to sleep and sober up. We'll speak in the morning."

A heavy stone settled in my heart. "Pedro."

He went to go upstairs and not once turned to look at my sad, lost form that waited in vain for a sign of forgiveness.

~~~

When I woke about five hours later, it was by the sound of items banging in the kitchen. The smell of something delicious sizzled in a pan but my stomach dreaded it and my head felt like it could burst. The first wave of sickness crashed into me when I remembered the resemblance of hatred in Pedro's eyes. Mine opened to the sight of his chocolate curls bouncing as he chopped something with a knife. His gaze was still turned down even though he must have seen that I was up and the more I told myself that he didn't care for me anymore, the more I felt like I deserved it.

The smell of bacon suggested that the thick tension hanging in this house was merely a delusion. Normally it meant something different. A cosy breakfast with a newspaper and coffee, loving banter and plans for the future.

Pedro discarded something into the bin when I sat up and disturbed Edgar, who had been sleeping cuddled into my side.

Pedro sighed and tossed the towel he'd been using over his shoulder. It was like he needed to brace himself before acknowledging me with a side glance and a tight pull of his moustache. I threw my blanket off and felt nothing but awful at the sight of the fatigue on his face.

"Good morning," I muttered meekly and got up to go and sit at the table with my hands folded sheepishly in front of me. I didn't even dare to walk up to him and get myself a cup of coffee. Pedro on the other hand, knowing me inside and out, fetched it for me and the creamy liquid sloshed over the rim at the force he used to slam it down in front of me. A plate with a croissant followed next with a harsh clatter of porcelain on wood. Before this 'talk' I dreaded more than anything would ensue, he waited for me to examine my favourite breakfast that I still adored him for. "Thank you." I barely managed to say.

He watched me dunk a piece of buttery deliciousness into my coffee, slip it into my mouth and treat him to a careful smile. I knew he had gone out of his way to get me fresh croissants but I couldn't tell if it was a peace offering or should merely act like a little sugar to make the medicine taste not so bitter. I braced myself for the latter. "D'd you sleep well?" He muttered tiredly and I nodded.

"The couch is pretty comfortable, actually." I attempted to make an insignificant observation before returning the question and receiving a hardly noticeable shake of his head as he brushed it off.

"Pedro, talk to me," I begged him, still hoping I could fix this. "Please."

Yell at me, throw something. Just anything.

I could hardly swallow as he stalked through the room. He took deep breath before his agitation finally unfolded. "Do you have any idea-" he spoke slow and patiently. "-how worried I was all night?"

Finally, his eyes met mine and it was nearly devastating. A heavy gulp forced my food down and I inhaled to start with an apology but he stopped me from making even the tiniest approach. "I was frightened, I didn't know what to do. You just... storm out after we had a fight, I have no idea where you're going-" The heat still radiated from his eyes when his voice turned a mocking tone. "The problem is you don't fucking care about anything! I wait for a fucking sign of life from you but you ignore my texts, you don't answer my calls-" His voice rose in volume with each word. "And then, finally at five in the morning, you come home, reeking of alcohol and weed and I knew-- I knew that would happen. Who else but you would just disappear, then pop up like nothing happened?" He had bent over the table, hands splayed out across when he spoke to me in calm anger. "You know what you did? You mixed painkillers with alcohol and drugs, you're lucky you didn't end up in the ER! And don't get me started on the scandal you could have caused when you walk around fucking wasted like that." He shook his head at me and I decided to keep it to myself that I had been to a gay club on top of that. "Irresponsible, stupid, impulsive girl. Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn't think you're a fucking danger hazard to yourself!"

"I was 'not' wasted," I muttered under my breath, but he looked past my antics and the flaw of design I called self-medication. He was speechless. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Oh, you're sorry?" he chastised me, louder this time, ready to berate me a little more. "I'm sorry is not fucking good enough this time!" He was breathing irregularly.

"I needed a little bit of freedom, Pedro!" I cried out.

Maybe emotion made him irrational at this point too. He didn't care Edgar was whining at us. "Oh, remind me again how horrible living in LA was and make me feel guilty about it."

"I begged to come with you, to just leave New York, remember? Poen died and I wanted to leave." I yelled back, frantically wiping away the first couple of tears at his fury. "I love you, wherever you go, I go!" I sobbed. Silence hung in the room like thick fog clouding us.

He sighed, holding back the severity of his anger when he realised he had made me cry. Finally he sat next to me at the head of the table and with a terrible sigh, ruffled his hand through his hair.

He sounded so tired. "I was so fucking mad. Still am. You treat my concern like it's nothing. I get you're searching for yourself and what's good for you but call me out on my delusion if I assume it's not in self-medication but right here." He told me with his eyes closed. "Honey, I'm so invested in helping and supporting you and I also know you won't find that sort of thing while going out and risking your wellbeing. I have... a lot of empathy for what you're going through. Be selfish, by all means, but I am 'not-" he fixed my eyes with his and put his index finger onto the table. "deserving of being treated like shit. Trust goes both ways. If I can't convince you to do what's best for you, I trust that you at least won't disrespect my compassion."

Finally it sank in and I was struck by so much shame, my eyes stung violently and I hated myself for ever hurting him. Even if unintentionally, he was the only one who could stop me on my way down because he was in control of my heart. I was the first to break our tense silence. "I need help," I admitted in tears. "I want to get better."

We finally seemed to understand each other's dire struggle, for when he grasped my hand, it meant the world to me. "Maybe you want to try this clinic I found. I heard it's-" He began but I interrupted him and tried to conceal my disgust at even the mention of rehab.

"I already found a new therapist," I announced and he leaned back in a puzzled state. "Good, eh... good. What?" He stuttered.

"Last night." I finished and watched his jaw drop. He gave me a look like he was finally done with my bullshit and the hand he'd previously held so comfortingly let me go again. I aimed to pacify him before he could say anything. "A good psychiatrist, I met her in the club and I got a free session but I'm already a hundred per cent sure, she's the right one for me. She is... incredible."

Pedro was still too baffled to even process this piece of information. "That's... that's-" Pedro didn't know what exactly this was, he tried to think about his words but failed. He put his palm to his forehead to relieve the headache that had to be forming there. "I feel like you forgot everything I just said. You don't get it." Pedro looked at me, puzzled.

"I do." "No, I begged you to make more sensible decisions and then you barge in with this." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "God, you're a piece of work."

I tried not to take that past comment personally. "I mean something good came out of my manic episode. I realised important things. For example, that I'm self-sabotaging."

"Okay... okay. Let's think this through." Pedro had calmed down somewhat and ran his hand over his beard in an attempt to try and start over. "Does this therapist have any credentials? What's her background? References? Do you have any idea who she is?" His questions were all reasonable but I had no answers to them. All I knew was that none mattered because I had a good feeling I about her.

"She's extremely smart and empathetic, she's boisterous, a lesbian and she's a socialist. You'd like her." I explained and he blinked at me. Dumbfounded, he folded his hands and I felt free to tell him the entire story of how Doc and I met.

Even after I was done explaining, he was still not convinced. "You know can't have a personal relationship with your therapist. This meeting while going out... thing and smoking together doesn't sound good at all. Who parties with their therapist?"

"I know, I know we can't be friends. She already said something like that. That and, that I should suck your dick if you're still mad at me." His frown seemed edged in stone, causing my innocent expression to crumble bit by bit. "You don't want that." I assumed, quietly.

"No, I don't." He dismissed, low and pointedly. "This is a bad idea. And this... therapist suggesting a blow job would fix this-" he looked up with a spark of humour I fixed my hope on. "Maybe."

I raised my eyebrows and he pointed a finger at me. "No, I was joking." "Okay, jeez." "I'd appreciate it if you took this seriously."

Maybe it had dawned on me or my manic episode was finally tranquillized by cold sobriety but my eyes stung with tears and my voice cracked when I spoke under my breath. "I am taking it more seriously than ever." I tried and was met with a look of love and pain in his eyes that nearly broke my heart.

"Don't say that if you don't mean it." He begged quietly.

A heavy gulp got stuck in my throat and for several moments, I gathered the right things to say. "I know... I know you have a good reason to be angry with me but I felt... so helpless." I choked up. "So unseen."

For several long, insufferable beats, we stayed mute until the quietness became too much to bear. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." His voice had cracked mid-sentence. "Just the thought anything could happen to you... and it would have been my fault. When I didn't hear anything from you, I was so angry."

When his eyes filled with tears, I reached over the table to gently try and loosen the arms he had crossed in front of his chest. Reluctantly, he opened up and let me hold his hand.

"Baby, I know it's been hard. I know-" My voice quivered while he tried to compose himself and meet my eyes. He was right, I hadn't been myself lately and I was so sorry for everything. For last night, for what nearly happened in LA. He was the one person I wanted to keep trying for and I made a promise with the only words that mattered. "I'll do better."

Pedro nodded, the flicker of warmth in his moist eyes. He believed me. "Okay." He decided and merely the thought of ever disappointing him again broke my heart. Never in my entire life had I felt such shame. The tears that had gradually been filling my eyes spilled over and I watched them fall into my lap when I couldn't hold them any longer.

He cupped my cheek when a sob shook my body and raised my chin so he could look me in the eyes and make something clear. "I was scared, for you. And you- you don't understand how much it hurts when you run out the door like that. Please, at least let me know you're okay next time." He admitted quietly.

"I'm so sorry." I cried out.

"You were right, I was too controlling. And I'm sorry for letting you sleep on the couch and being too harsh on you." He sighed, wiped first mine, then his tears away before he regained his composure. "If you need time for yourself, I won't stop you."

"Not... time away from you but-" I sighed. "Maybe I just need to get back to work. Do my own thing again and work on some music."

"That's a very good idea." He smiled for the first time and it was soothing, even though something seemed to still weigh on his mind. "Can you promise me something?" His eyes snapped back up from our entwined hands and I braced myself to receive an expectation I would have trouble meeting. "Promise you'll tell me when you feel like I'm smothering you, so you won't start to resent me?"

Finally, the consequences of my actions had an impact when I realised he was definitely the more mature person about this. The fact that I made him worry about that deeply saddened me. "I could never resent you." I squeaked out, finally broken.

Pedro breathed out a relieved sigh when I threw myself into his arms and I could hold him tight. His shoulders sank low as he hid his face in the crook of my neck and hugged me close. He needed me as much as I needed him, right here and wrapped up in his arms.

"Lost my fucking Duolingo streak." He grumped, spoke muffled into my shoulder and triggered a peal of laughter to bubble up between us.

"I'm so sorry, angel. I really am." I replied nasally but somewhat relieved of all tension. Looking back at him, I wiped away the moisture underneath his eyes.

"It's okay now." He promised. "I promise it'll be okay."

I revelled in his gentle touch. "I'm sorry for being all wrong in the head." My voice thinned out.

He caught my chin between his finger and thumb. "Hey, hey, you're not. Look at me." I did, looking into his still glistening, beautiful brown eyes to see him sniff and brace me for some uplifting words. "You think there's something wrong with you? There's nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Anxiety and depression fucking suck but you're gonna stop being so hard on yourself. It gets better, I promise. And when we fight, we fight hard but we love even harder." His eyes were so soulful and he was in every way, kindness and beauty while I was ashamed of the way I looked, felt and behaved. Somehow he made me feel deserving again just by looking at me.

"You don't know how much that means to me." I was hardly able to say through my throat closing up in tears as I held his face in between my palms. "I'm sorry, Pedro. My sweetheart." Gazing into his shimmery, yet determined eyes and finally seeing no sign of irritation in them lifted an enormous weight off my heart. A desperate need for closeness forced its way into our embrace. It was nearly too harsh, the way he pulled me closer when his fingers tangled into the roots of my hair like he'd lose me if he didn't but I needed it to survive.

He held me close for what felt like forever and again, I felt the need to just disappear within him. "Hey, I don't want a mentally stable partner. That's boring." I said in an uplifting tone and I nearly giggled. "Because that's not fun. It doesn't fit me. You fit me. I want you, with all of your issues. To me, you are perfect." He placed many, loving kisses on my head and made his devotion and immortal support finally resonate within me. I was a path without an end and he was happy to keep treading on it.

~

Part 3 - Coming Soon

~

Translation notes:

(it): nonna - (eng): grandma

(it): pronto - (eng): now

(dut): kut - (eng): cunt

[mondainelife]

What ai wrote:

The Importance of Self-Care in Today's Fast-Paced World

Let’s face it—life can be overwhelming. Between work, social commitments, personal goals, and everything in between, it feels like we’re all running on a never-ending treadmill. The pressure to keep up can be intense, and often, self-care is the first thing to slip through the cracks. But here's the thing: taking care of ourselves is not a luxury, it's a necessity.

Why Self-Care Matters

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re constantly bombarded with things that demand our attention. We push ourselves to be productive, achieve more, and stay connected. But when do we take a step back to check in with ourselves? Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, stress, and feelings of overwhelm. It’s no surprise that more people than ever are struggling with mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

Self-care is a powerful tool that can help improve our mental and emotional well-being. It allows us to recharge, find balance, and approach life’s challenges with a clearer mind. When we make self-care a priority, we can show up as the best versions of ourselves—for our work, relationships, and most importantly, for us.

Practical Tips for Everyday Self-Care

You don’t need to book a spa day or take a week off to start practicing self-care (though those are great too!). It’s about incorporating small, meaningful habits into your daily life. Here are some easy ways to get started:

1. Set Boundaries with Your Time

It’s okay to say no sometimes. We often feel guilty for not doing it all, but protecting your time and energy is crucial. Whether it’s at work or in your personal life, set limits. For instance, stop responding to emails after 6 p.m. or take a night off from social activities if you’re feeling drained.

2. Take Mini-Breaks During the Day

If you’re working all day without a break, it’s no wonder you’re feeling exhausted! Give yourself permission to step away, even if it’s for just five minutes. I’ve found that taking short, mindful breaks—whether it’s going for a quick walk, stretching, or even making a cup of tea—can do wonders for your focus and mood.

3. Practice Gratitude

I know, I know, it sounds cliché, but gratitude really does change your perspective. Take a moment each day to write down three things you’re grateful for. It can be something as simple as “the sun is shining” or “I had a delicious cup of coffee this morning.” Shifting your mindset towards the positive can have a big impact on your emotional well-being.

4. Create a Wind-Down Routine

We often underestimate the power of a good night's sleep. Developing a bedtime routine can help signal to your body that it’s time to rest. For me, it’s all about ditching the screens at least 30 minutes before bed and reading something light (or, let’s be honest, watching cat videos). Whatever helps you relax, make it part of your nighttime ritual.

5. Move Your Body, Gently

You don’t need to go hardcore at the gym to take care of your body. Gentle movement, like yoga or a casual walk, can be just as effective at releasing tension and improving your mood. I’ve personally started doing a 10-minute stretch routine in the mornings, and it makes me feel so much more grounded throughout the day.

How Self-Care Impacts Mental Health

Taking time for yourself can reduce stress, improve focus, and give you more energy to tackle life’s demands. Studies show that regular self-care practices like mindfulness, physical activity, and adequate sleep can help lower the risk of mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

For me, self-care has been a game-changer. When I first started incorporating it into my routine, I noticed that I felt more in control, less reactive to stress, and more capable of handling tough situations. It’s not a quick fix, but over time, those small acts of kindness towards myself have added up.

Remember, You’re Worth It

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. If there’s one takeaway from this, it’s that you deserve to be cared for, too. The world can wait a little while longer while you tend to your own needs.

So, what self-care practice are you going to start with today? It doesn’t have to be anything big, but trust me, your future self will thank you for it.

---

Let me know in the comments what helps you feel recharged! I’m always looking for new ideas to add to my routine.

[horrorstreet]

Summertime Jealousy (Part 2)

Request: Very sorry if this already went through but I think I might have deleted some of my last request. It was jealous Thomas Hewitt cause his crush (female or GN) os being nice to one of the victims. Maybe some angst into fluff as his crush finds they like Thomas too. Again sorry if it already went through.

Request sent in by: Anon

Summary: Its Summertime in Texas but work doesn’t stop for the heat. You and Thomas head to work but after the end of your shifts, you are met with a slight problem that is easily resolved.

Thomas Hewitt x Reader

Warnings: Angst, death, serious gore, guns, SMUT

Quick Note: Stay with me, please. First time writing this for y'all. Enjoy !

If you haven't already, read PART 1

The dinner table was quiet that night. The light clinking of the spoons against the glass bowls was the only sound filling the air. You looked over at Thomas, a giddy feeling stirring in your chest. You had to make yourself quickly look away before embarrassing yourself in front of everyone.

It was rare for the dinner table to be quiet. If Thomas could say something, he might have but the silence was a little intimidating knowing how short of a fuse the others had... Which is where you came in.

"So, Thomas," you began, putting your spoon down and wiping your hands on the napkin in your lap. "How was work today?" You asked, looking over at him. The man looked up from his own bowl in front of him and glanced around at the rest of the table before nodding, giving you a grunt in response.

"That's good." You smiled, tapping your fingers against the wood of the table. The silence continued after that, not even you feeling comfortable enough to fill it. Looking over at Luda Mae, you lifted the napkin out of your lap and sat it to the side of your cup. "Excuse me." You stood up, collecting your things and walking them into the kitchen, dropping them in the sink.

The stove top clock blinked in bright green numbers.

8:45

You peeked into the dining room and sighed seeing everyone had cleared out. You started cleaning off the table, stacking the bowls on top of the others and placed the spoons on top of the pile. You would have to clean off the cups later seeing as how most of them were still full.

Doing the dishes had to be the easiest chore in the house. Cleaning was a big task since the house was huge. Cleaning 2 floors that was constantly dirtied with blood and dirt wasn't an easy job especially with the families .... unique lifestyle. You looked over the table cloth and spotted multiple stains. Both blood droplets and spilled food covered the white cloth and you knew you were going to have to do your best to clear it out unless you wanted an earful from the rest of the family.

Stripping the table of the cloth, you waded it up in your hands and opened the back screen door, propping it open and throwing the cover on the steps. This wasn't going to be easy but you knew you could manage. You did clean Thomas's clothes after all, the apron and shirts being constantly caked in blood, dirt and other bodily fluids.

Filling your bucket with water and pouring your soaps in, you let the table cloth rest and soak before getting to work, wanting the chemicals to do their job well. You watched as bubbles would raise to the surface from the folds in the cloth and took in a long breath.

"God this is going to take for-fucking-ever." You complained, closing your eyes and lifting your head to look into the sky, the clouds orange and yellow. You enjoyed how silent it was all the time. The quiet radio played in the background from a random window in the house, probably Thomas's room and you smiled, always loving the station he would tune into. Songs from your childhood brought back those memories from years ago when Tommy and you were kids.

Running through the tall grass while chasing one another was one of your favorite things to do together. The loud giggles that escaped your mouth and his loud but struggled chuckles reached the ears of everyone else in the house, Luda watching the two of you from the window while working in the kitchen. A smile would cross her face watching the two of you have fun with one another. It wasn't that long ago that you were trying to run from him and now you were trying to catch him to play. She always found it funny how fast the both of you grew attached to one another.

The sound of loud engines snapped you out of your own head, your brows coming down over your eyes. A mean glare taking over that far away look in your eyes.

"LUDA! WE HAVE COMPANY!" You yelled from the back of the house. Abandoning the bucket of water. You quickly made your way to the front of the house to see an old van and truck sitting in your front yard, 4 guys and 2 girls around your age stepping out of both vehicles. They didn't look like they were there for directions this time. They meant business and it just so happened that you did too. "Can I asked you folks why you are here parked on my grass?" You asked, hands placed on your hips, foot digging into the dirt under your heel.

"Not until you tell us where our friends are." You stood frozen for a second, hands slightly slipping off your hips before you quickly jumped back into action. "Your friends? I'm sorry, I have no clue who you're talking about?" You played off, taking a few more steps forward. The man puffed his chest out, making himself look bigger and more intimidating... But you knew intimidating and it wasn't him.

"Oh, don't play fucking stupid, bitch." One of the girls said off to the side. You scoffed and crossed your arms across you chest, your patience growing thin. You had enough with the bunch and hoped that Hoyt would be quick grabbing the gun. No harm in having some fun until then.

"I guess you caught me. Sure are smart for some stupid city kids." You chuckled. "Well, if you must know... We invited them over for supper. Can't say they left with full stomachs but we sure did." You gave a small smile, watching as their faces twisted into looks of confusion. "The guy.. Uhh? Justin?? Yeah, Justin. We got lots of meat off those bones of his. Real juicy too."

The group weren't able to get a word in before a bullet traveled its way through the brunettes head in the back of the small crowd. The crimson drops splattered across your face, painting you red. The thud of his limbs hitting the ground made the girls jump.

"WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK!" The 2nd blonde yelled, his friends lifeless hand draped across his foot. Another shot rang through the air, grazing the blondes ear. His hand quickly shot up to cover his head, instinctively dropping to the ground and shielding himself. This time, the girls scattered, both trying desperately to get in their cars and drive off.

"How impolite do you little shits have to be to park on another mans fucking lawn?" Hoyt sneered, aiming his gun in the face of the last standing intruder. You closed your eyes, hearing the second thud of a body hit the ground and feeling those familiar droplets run down your face and over your eyes, just dripping off of your brow. The blonde on the ground struggled to get up and run, heading right for the house. You sprinted after him, your fingers hooking around his nose but slipping off. With blood coating your hand you, you tried grabbing the back of his shirt, leaving a bloody handprint on the fabric but he once again slipped away, making you even more frustrated.

The spinning of tires behind you made you gasp. The girls had made it into the car, Hoyt on the ground and his gun across the dirt road. He was groaning in pain, telling you he was still alive and you could focus on yourself. The car was speeding closer and closer towards you, the girl in the passenger seat hanging onto the handle of the car for dear life and the other gripping the wheel till her knuckles turned white.

You would have been roadkill if you had moved just a second slower. You jumped to your feet and watched as Thomas quickly ran out of the door with a large hand around the boys neck, his body limp and the blondes face purple. You were at the driver side door quicker than the girls had though, your hand ripping the door open and dragging the red head out by her hair. She let out the most blood curdling scream you had heard in a while and you frowned, wanting her to shut up. Kicking her in the mouth, you knew you had broken a few of those pretty pearly whites and sighed in annoyance. You continued sending your foot towards her face, the screaming becoming more and more muffled by the blood building up in her mouth.

You stopped when her friend pulled you off of her. Her arm snaked around your neck, squeezing as hard as she could. Bloody hands flew up to claw at the girls skin, trying to create space to catch some air. The same girl let out the same terrified scream being lifted into the air by her dark hair, Thomas standing above her with the coldest look in his eyes. He was mad.. and a mad Thomas was a dangerous man. Hell... you were fucken nervous.

The man would have finished the job himself if a final bullet hadn't put an end to the entire situation instead. Hoyt stood with the gun still aimed just incase he needed to take another shot. The only sound left to torture your ears was the loud ringing from the shot of the gun by your head. Other than that, all was quiet aside from the heavy breathing of the 3 of you. Tommy dropped the body in his hand and held a hand out to you, your wrapping around his before being pulled to your feet.

You passed the living room after coming back upstairs from helping Tommy slice up the fresh meat and store it away in the houses freezers. Hoyt was sat on the couch in front of the tv cleaning his gun with a stern look on his face.

Thomas slid the basement door closed, the metal clanging against the lock and making you jump. You were still all covered in blood by the time you had got done helping Thomas and didn't want to hop in the shower to leave some warm water for your beloved boyfriend. You had almost bumped right into the mans chest trying to go back down to tell him to finish up and come shower but he beat you to it, his beautiful eyes staring down at you overtop of his mask that covered his mouth and nose.

"Hey, Tommy. I was just about to tell you to go hop in the shower before we head to bed." You explained to him, looking up at him with a bloody lipped smile that made him twitch. It made him squirm. The way you looked standing infront of him like that. There were still some spots of blood that had yet to dry and your clothes were semi-drenched from how you tried rubbing the stain out of your favorite t-shirt. He could just barely see through but it was more than enough to get his mind running laps.

"Thomas," You waved your hand in front of his face to grab his attention. Little did you know you already it. "Shower? Thomas?" Your brows furrowed together in confusion at his lack of attention to your words. The look in his eyes was a little animalistic and you had to admit, it turned you on a lot more than it should have. Your underwear was suddenly flooded at the thought of what was going on behind those sharp eyes you loved so much. You two seemed to be on the same page in that sense.

"Come on, love. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?" You smiled up at him with a certain look, pupils blown in lust that Thomas mirrored perfectly. He gave a quiet grunt and followed you, your calloused hand slipping into his own on instinct before you began to pull him up the stairs. "I'll help." You glanced over your shoulder for a short second to catch how your boyfriend looked just about ready to eat you up. When he was sure no one was looking, the man took his hand away from the railing as he continued up, almost to the top, and ran two fingers quickly over that hot, sticky spot between your thighs that was practically calling his name.

The feeling made you jump and a gasp escaped your throat. Boy, did that put a pep in your step and you quickly skipped the last step before letting go of the mans hand and speed walking to his bedroom. The bed was bigger to accommodate his large build so it was the obvious choice for your upcoming activites over your smaller bed.

Thomas closed and locked the door to his bedroom as he entered to keep out any unwanted guests before turning his undivided attention to you. He had done this with you once before but for some reason he still couldn't shake that nervous, butterflies in the gut kind of feeling whenever he imaged taking another step forward to make the first move. You had the same gut feeling twisting around inside of your stomach with the addition of your heart rapidly beating through your chest. Your could feel your teeth buzz and your hands tremble a little, no words said in fear your wobbling voice would give away just how nervous you were and how much you absolutely craved the man before you all in one swoop.

The floorboards creaked beneath his weight as he took a few steps forward until he was only a few inches away from you. Your head angled up to look at him but his eyes were focused on your hands that he gently grabbed, cupping them and bringing them up to his face behind his head. He wanted you to be the one to take his mask off. So, your hands worked swiftly but with care, fingers slipping under the leather strap buckle till it finally loosened up and peeled away from his face. "Ok?" You questioned before pulling the mask away completely. He slightly nodded and you smiled softly before pulling it away and setting it down at the foot of the bed next to you.

His hands had managed to find their way to your hips to rest as you messed with his face covering, eyes closed. He was a little scared as to how you would react. He always was. One of his biggest fears was one day seeing a disgusted expression invade your beautiful face at the sight of his deformities and leaving his soul crushed and defeated. Instead, when he met your eyes, he saw a pure and soft warmth he had never witnessed before. Your thumb caressed his cheek, wiping away a droplet of blood and offering a comforting touch as well. "My handsome man." You muttered, that smile never leaving your soft lips. "I love you." You confessed shortly after as you leaned in to place a kiss on his lips.

When your mouths met, the kiss first melted the both of you into a puddle but it didn't take long for it to escalate into something more. Thomas's grip on your hips tightened and one of his large hands slipped under your shirt with ease, running up your body till he reached your chest. He slipped his fingers over your sensitive nipple and pinched one between his touch, pulling a moan from your mouth. It sounded so lewd and caused Thomas to open his eyes and break the heated kiss you both almost got lost in. He brought his other hand under your shirt and was now filled to the brim with a lustful eagerness feeling your warm skin under his palms. You pulled the dirty article of clothing off over your head and tossed it aside and grant your boyfriend more access.

The strain against his cock was too painful at that point. He had to have you. Thomas kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his belt while you followed and removed your pants and shoes as well, everything left on the floor and quickly forgotten. You backed yourself up against the bed and laid down on your back, propped up on your elbows to get a good view of your beautiful Thomas who was hurrying to make his way over where you lay before dropping to his knees and positioning his face between your thighs. His gaze met yours, silently asking you for permission to which you gladly nodded and watched as he licked up the damp spot on your panties. A small moan rested in your throat as he did so, flinching as his rough fingers quickly pulled the underwear down your legs and off in some random direction.

"Tommy.." You cautiously looked down at him. He came to a halt, not wanting to continue in the case that you decided you didn't want this. But, you had made up your mind and simply nodded to which he dove right in. His tongue darted back out to send a long lick up your folds, the tip of his tongue brushing against your open and ready hole. He placed a quick kiss to your clit before licking circles around the bud causing you to moan out his name.

"Fuck, Thomas ! Yes." Your head fell back and your hand grabbed a handful of the mans hair, pulling him closer. He continued his attack on your clit while 2 fingers reached up and gently slipped inside, getting a feel for how tight you were before starting to pump in and out.. and in and out faster and faster. Your juices were quick to coat his hand, the dried blood mixing with your own mess as it dripped down the back of his hand. Tommy slipped a third finger in and didn't stop thrusting into you until he felt you clench around his digits which told him it was time to pull away.

You whined and opened your eyes and see what he was doing and was pleased to see his face wet with your mess and his fingers just the same. He rose to his feet and pulled his boxers off, releasing his hard dick that throbbed with the need to be inside of you. "Thomas, fuck me, please. Fuck me." You moaned out for him to which he quickly obliged. Parting your legs farther apart, he stood in between them, cock in hand and sliding teasingly though your folds. "Please, Tommy." You whimpered to him, face twisted in a mixture of desperateness and pleasure.

How could he say no?..

The man slowly slipped into your hole, patiently filling you up as you got used to his size again. You moaned and whimpered at the feeling and soon nodded and grabbed his hand that was free, the other pressed down on your stomach. You both locked fingers as he started fucking into you and groaned in pleasure hearing the lewd squelching sounds and feeling the way your warm walls squeezed him.

The more the speed picked up, the harder the bed rocked to each thrust he made inside of you. He felt the urge to go faster, open you up good for him so he could dump his seed inside of you and fill you up. Wanted to watch the way his hot cum dropped out of your core after you came on his cock. He was blinded by the idea of fucking his own cum into you and you were too far gone to care about how much noise you two were making. It felt too good.

"Hnn ahh Thomas- I'm cu- cumming - I'm gonna cum 'm gonna cum- fuck." You moaned, eyes rolling back as his thumb worked your clit once again to bring you closer to your climax. He squeezed your hand and grit his teeth before finally reaching his own peak. The both of you were pushed over the edge and you came along with him, your juices spilling all over his dick that twitched as he released his load inside of you. His pace was uneven now and he slowed down to pound into you for the rest of your high. Thomas wanted your cunt to milk him for all he had left and some.

When he was finally done, he came to a stop but never pulled out. He liked the warm feeling of being inside of you. Liked the way you gasped and moaned from slight overstimulation everytime you tried to move. It made him want to go again .. and again and again but he had done a number on you and it was obvious that he was going to be the one helping bathe you that night.

His dick slipped back out of your hole but was quickly replaced with two large fingers that fucked the cum back into you making you moan once again and squirm where you laid. "Oh my god.." you caught your breath as he still rested his digits inside of you. "You did so good for me, baby. Such a good boy." You praised him with a grin, hands pushing his hair away from over his eyes. "My good boy." You let out a long sigh and bit your lip as your boyfriend pulled his fingers out of you.

Thomas carried you out of his bedrooms bathroom and laid you down on his bed, pulling back the covers from under your legs and taking the towel that was wrapped around your naked figure so you could rest comfortably. He threw the towel into the pile of clothes that were forgotten from earlier, his boxers now back on his body to cover him up so he wasn't parading around naked... not that you would mind.

"Thank you, honey." You smiled at the man who took such good care of you. He grunted in response and nodded his head. He picked his mask back up off the end of the bed to soak it in the sink before hopping into the shower himself so he was clean for you for the night. He didn't want you curled up on him while he was covered in filth. Thomas didn't particularly like the idea of sleeping covered in various bodily fluid either.

The night ended with Thomas pulling you into his gentle but firm hold, face pressed into your hair while your hands rested against his chest, ear laid over his heart so you could fall asleep to the soft thumping. You couldn't have imagined yourself in this position, really... You had a crush on your childhood bestfriend for years and now you two were sleeping in the same bed, cuddled up and as happy as you could both be. Nothing would be able to take this from you.. and that night, you promised yourself that if anything tried, it would be the last thing it ever did. Thomas was yours and you were his. It was the beginning of dangerous connection and lord help whoever tried to get in the way.

[buckysred]

Surprise

Robin Buckley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Robins been pulling away from you recently so you decide to plan a spectacular date to close the gap between you. 

Warnings: cursing, bad writing and editing

Word Count: 2,161

Loving Robin was always easy.

Of course, you had tough patches in your relationship, but the general sense of love for her was always there in your body, like a living, breathing thing. That feeling only grew after what you both had experienced together. You supposed that being tied up and tortured by Russians could do that to a person.

After everything was said and done with the Russians and the Gate and the Mindflayer, you felt a distance grow between you alongside that immense love. A distance that Robin was creating between you.

Not purposely, you didn’t think, but she was closing herself off from you. Which was severely abnormal, especially when it came to Robin Buckley.

She once went into great detail about how she came to learn to walk. The story encompassed a lot of baby Robin following a Cheerio trail and finally making those first steps to reach her favorite “cuddle bear” off the tv stand.

So, this almost cold shoulder she was giving you was a particular type of torture. You were so used to her constantly talking your ear off. But all of that had come to a standstill since that damn hole ripped between your world and the Upside Down.

Nevertheless, you were determined. You needed a way to close the gap between the both of you. Robin was the date planner in your relationship, but you could change that. Your mind wasn’t nearly as creative as hers, but you would put forth the effort for her. So, you sat down and made a date plan.

After discarding a few basic ideas like going to the arcade or the theatre, you finally thought of something worthy of your girlfriend’s time. Now all you needed was for your girl to attend.

It took one phone call to Steve Harrington, Robin’s usual chauffeur, to find out that she was off at 8. Thankfully, this gave you plenty of time to set everything up before having to go pick her up.

—-----------------------------

It wasn’t long before it was time to head out and pick up Robin. You got to Family Video relatively quick, and as you sat in your car staring at the clock, your nerves started to kick in. What if she didn’t like it? Maybe she would think it was too childish?

You didn’t have time to further entertain your worries as the bell rang from the shop door, alerting you that she had left. You glance up, and sure enough, Robin’s crouched down, locking up the store doors.

You got out of your car and leaned against the driver’s side door, waiting. When she finally spun around, you watched her eyes automatically search the lot for Steve, but instead, she found you.

You gave her a small smile and a wave, gesturing for her to come over. One moment Robin’s eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion, and the next, her eyes were lighting up like fireworks, not wasting any time to race over to you.

In her haste, Robin’s body almost fully slams into yours, but luckily, she catches herself in time, bringing the tips of her shoes toe to toe with yours.

“Hi,” Robin breathed breathlessly.

You shot her a warm grin. “Hey, there, speed racer.”

A winded laugh shot from her lips before she shrugged one shoulder at you. “Sorry. I’m just like really happy to see you right now. It feels like we’ve…. I don’t know- not been seeing each other as much,” Robin paused for a deep breath before her eyes went wide, “Not that it’s your fault or anything! I just mean-”

You lifted your hands to cup her cheeks and bring her lips down to yours for a brief kiss, stopping her rambling. “Don’t worry. I know what you meant, I feel the same way.”

The tension around her eyes loosened, “You do?”

You hummed at her. “Yep. I’ve got something planned for us tonight if you wanna hop in,” You reassured while gesturing to your car.

Her smile was airy and light and sweet, it reminded you of cotton candy. “Yes! I mean, yeah. That sounds great.”

In one swift moment, you both hopped into the car and started the drive back to your place. Without even thinking about it, you took one of your hands off the wheel and linked it with Robins. For your actions, she sent you a happy smile and brought your hand to her lips kissing it twice.

—-------------------------------

Only after putting the car into park and pulling the keys out of the ignition, did you start to feel those same nerves kick back into gear. You really wanted her to enjoy this.

You glanced over to her, but her eyes were staring at you, probing.

You let out a stress-filled laugh. “What? Somethin’ on my face?”

Robin just shook her head and careened across the console bringing your faces closer.

“I’m. Very. Excited.” Then she fully leaned over, kissed your cheek, and opened her car door, sliding out.

You allowed one deep breath before following her lead, getting out, and starting to head inside.

Robin got to the front door before you, jumping slightly on the balls of her feet. When you reached her, you grabbed ahold of her wrist, attempting to make sure you entered before her. You then went to unlock the door before abruptly stopping.

Robin’s hand, that wasn’t encompassed by yours, went up to your back, making soothing motions over your shirt. “Whatever it is that you have planned, I’m going to love it. No matter what. So, don’t leave me on the edge of my seat, Y/n, and open the door.”

Leave it to normally oblivious Robin to pick up on your anxiousness. You threw a grateful smile over your shoulder before unlocking the door.

As soon as you opened the door, you were greeted with the pitch darkness of your apartment. Before you left, you made sure to turn all the lights off so you could do the reveal in a big way.

Your hand holding Robin’s wrist gripped tighter as you yanked her inside. You quickly turned, shut, and locked your door. Then started leading Robin into your living room, where your date was all set up.

Walking inside your pitch-black apartment had Robin’s confusion arising. “Why exactly are we traipsing through your dining room in the dark?”

You shook your head even though she couldn’t see you and uttered, “Just wait.”

When your mental map told you that you had finally reached the living area, you felt the wall for the light switch. When you found it, you turned to face Robin, “Ready for the grand reveal?”

“Yup, very, very ready.”

With bated breath, you flipped the light switch and watched as the room illuminated in various colors. Robin’s gasp filled the air at the sight.

For your date, you had decided to take a page out of Joyce’s book and tack up various colored Christmas lights, so the room was illuminated with a satisfying rainbow hue. And in the very center of the room was a tent made from numerous blankets.

Turned out that putting up that damn fort was the hardest part of all this. You originally thought it’d be easy to just grab a few dining table chairs and throw some blankets over top of them, and BAM: fort.

What your brain didn’t anticipate was that all the blankets would just slide right off if they weren’t angled correctly. But after a few frustrating moments and a near meltdown, you found the key to getting the perfect angle was by putting two shorter chairs adjacent to the taller ones. Then additionally, to keep the blankets securely in place, you put a few books down on top of the seats.

Robin took slow steps towards the fort and dipped down to see inside. The inside was assorted with an abundant amount of pillows in various colors and sizes.

“Wow,” She breathed, amazement coating her voice.

You stood idly by with your hands nervously strangling each other. “So, I was thinking that we could just curl up in the tent and then put a movie into the VHS….” You let your words draw out, waiting for Robin’s verbal confirmation that she liked what she saw, but she stayed silent.

You rushed to fix your mistake. “Or- or not. We could just go to the theatre or someth-”

You were abruptly caught off by Robin's bone-crushing hug. “We will definitely not be going to a freaking movie theatre! Are you kidding me? This is fucking awesome!” She pulled away from your hug, her pretty blue eyes wide with elation.

Your eyes soaked in her excited and bubbly essence, all with the different color lights hitting her hair making her look ethereal. God bless, you thought you actually felt your heart skip.

“Yeah? You like it?”

Robin's giddy face turned mocking. “Um, yes, duh. Like who the hell wouldn’t love this? Psychos that’s who!”

Your mouth tugged up into a grin. You’d do this every damn day just to see her smile light up her face like this.

Your hands were still resting on her lower back from your hug, you moved them up and around to cup her cheeks and smoosh them together. “You’re so cute, it makes me wanna kiss you and never let you go.”

Robin removed your hands off her cheeks and entangled them with each of her own. “I think I could get behind that idea.” She tugged you into her and kissed you once on the mouth, forehead, and then both cheeks.

Robin pulled away, gave you one more of her sweet smiles, and began to tow you over to the inside of the tent.

Before you entered you brought her to a halt, “Movie?”

She shook her head. “No. I- uh- let’s just l-lay here for a bit together please.”

Your response was to climb inside the fort. Robin eagerly followed your lead.

You both settled in. Robin pulled you down so you were laying on your side with your head on top of her chest, and your leg thrown over her hip.

You fucking missed this. Missed just existing with her. Being able to lay down with her heart pressed against your ear and all that mattered was that she had you and you had her.

Robin's hand went into your hair, her dark blue fingernails scratching lightly down your scalp.

She broke your comfortable silence, her voice tentative, “I- I know I’ve been distant lately and I feel like I owe you an explanation. No. I don’t feel like I do, I know I do. After everything with that huge melted-human-monster thing, it’s been difficult readjusting. Ya know, like this bubble of our reality has just been popped, and everything I once knew to be true isn’t anymore. And I-”

You pulled off her chest to hush her. “You don’t have to give me an explanation, Robs. I get it. I mean, it’s hard, even after actually seeing those things, my brain tries to convince me I’ve been tricked, like it was all just one big hallucination,” You paused for a breath, “But, sweetheart, you can’t shut me out. I need you here. With me. Alright?”

Robin made a strangled sound in her throat before bringing her mouth to yours. One slow and sensual kiss that lapsed time was what she gifted you. Her lips were soft and tasted like her favorite strawberry chapstick she obsessively uses. Your senses were filled with all things Robin.

You pulled away and leaned your forehead against hers. Your voice was light but desperation leaked into your tone, “Just tell me everything's gonna be okay. Tell me we’re gonna be okay.”

“Everything is gonna be okay, babe. If those crazy, scary monsters come back, we’ll throw Harrington as bait and make a run for it. Start a new life at sea. We already know I look hot in a sailor’s uniform. It’s the perfect plan.”

The anguished lines in your face faded into humorous laugh lines as you giggled at her. “Oh, yeah. So, you can strut around looking like every man’s wet dream and all of the crew members can drool after you? I don’t think so.”

“Awe, cmon, Y/n. No one’s drooling after me more than you, and that’s really what matters here.”

Robin started laughing at the scowl you sent her. You attempted to fake pull away from her hold, but she just held you closer and kissed the top of your head.

And that’s how you spent the rest of your night, entangled so closely with your girl that you couldn’t tell where either of you began or ended.

As you lay, snuggled up against Robin with your eyes fluttering, fighting against sleep, only one thought passed through your brain, if I get to keep her with me, I know everything will be just fine.

[fernweh-writes]

What about slashers with a S/O who’s insecure so they keep their shirt on during sex 👀👀👀

I also love your writing so much, it’s so good I-

I hope you all know that if you give me a compliment that I start planning our wedding. Anyways, here you go hun

-Fern

Warnings: NSFW content, female reader, mentions of kidnapping w/Asa and slight non-con with him to

Slashers With an S/O Who Keeps Their Shirt On During Sex

Michael Myers

Surprisingly, he is one of the most understanding. Michael gets what it’s like to want to hide parts of yourself in order to feel safe and secure so he’s more than okay with you keeping your shirt on. After all, he keeps the mask on during sex, why couldn’t you wear a shirt.

Expects you to be okay with the mask staying on since you like keeping your shirt on. Don’t be a hypocrite y/n.

However, once you finally feel okay ditching the shirt is when Michael will decide to ditch the mask around you. Think of it as him leveling the playing field. Both of you are bearing your insecurities to each other, becoming completely exposed and open to each other. For the first time, Michael will take things slow and gentle. Congratulations, you have unlocked love making instead of primal fucking.

Once Michael takes his mask off around you there’s no going back, not that there was really any going back before either. Now you’re not only his, you’re his permanently. here is no leaving or moving on.

Bo Sinclair

Bo may come off as cocky and arrogant but really, he’s just hiding insecurities himself. So if he cares about you, he’s not going to push you to completely expose yourself to him not matter how badly he wants to see all of you.

Will give you one of his old shirts to wear while he fucks you. If you’re going to war something it’s going to be something that still proves to him that you’re his. Besides, he also likes the idea of taking his shirts back after he’s completely wrecked you while you’ve worn them.

He may not be able to look but he’s most definitely still going to touch. Bo will slide his hands up under your shirt to grope you and tease your nipples with his fingers, anything to get you to keep making those pretty noises for him.

Once you finally feel comfortable taking your shirt off during sex, he does nothing but praise you for once. He never wants to see you with a shirt on ever again while he’s fucking you and if that means no lewd teasing and degrading for once then so be it.

Vincent Sinclair

Once again, a slasher that is very understanding of your insecurities. Vincent is insecure about his body as well as his face. (Cause why else would you wear thick baggy sweaters surrounded by hot wax and lit candles in Louisiana)

In fact, the first time you and Vincent have sex both of you stay mostly clothed. Over time, both of you begin to strip down more but he knows better than to make a grab for your shirt. He’s to sweet though so he wouldn’t try some shit like that.

This man absolutely worships your body. He does have to show his muse how much he appreciates them after all.

If you ever decide to take your shirt off he makes sure to let you know how much he loves you and the way you look, even though he can’t express it verbally.

Loves when you wear one of his sweaters. Your completely blissed out look while make fists around the sleeves that are to long on you as you make all those pretty sounds could drive him mad.

Thomas Hewitt

The fact you feel insecure around him and feel the need to hide your body makes him pretty upset. Of course he’s not upset with you, he’s just upset you don’t see yourself the way he sees you.

Does his best to communicate to you how much he loves you, how pretty he thinks you are, how much he cares for you. Thomas just wants you to feel comfortable and confident when you;re around him.

Still, he doesn’t push you to do something you’re not comfortable it’s. He understands what it’s like to want to hide the parts of you that you don’t like, the parts other people have ridiculed and made fun of.

When you finally do take your shirt off, he goes crazy. Have fun attempting to walk literally ever again. This man will give you a whole new definition for the phrase “rearranging your guts.”

Brahms Heelshire

He’s a complete brat about everything, and while he won’t try and take your shirt off, he’s not going to pretend he’s happy about it. Often begs you to take it off as he’s brutally thrusting into you. Not gonna happen Brahmsy.

Again, he may not look but he can touch and he’s going to take full advantage of that. It’s not his fault you whine and make such pretty noises for him whenever he sneaks his hands up under your shirt.

In the winter, he’ll wrap his cardigan around you as well. The old house can be hard to keep heated and he doesn’t want you to get cold. You should think him for working so hard to keep you warm.

When you feel comfortable enough to be completely naked in front of him he makes sure to fuck you dumb. He won’t stop until you’ve cum multiple times and struggle to form sentences. You’ll be shaking and covered in both cum and sweat by the time he’s through with you.

It’s not like it was anything he hasn’t seen before considering he just stalks you all of the time. But still, he wants to see every part of you and that stupid shirt of yours always got in the way of that.

Stu Macher

He’s surprisingly chill about the whole thing. While he is absolutely dying to see you completely naked he’s not going to shame you for feeling insecure. You’re still going to get lots of compliments and praise from him while he fucks you whether you’re wearing a shirt or not.

Will make sure that your comfortable with everything that happens. He loves you and doesn’t want you to not enjoy anything that happens in he bedroom so he’s always asking for your permission before he does anything.

Won’t make any comments if you tell him about something that would help you feel more secure or safe. Want the lights off if you’re going to take your shirt off? He’s more than okay with it, he’s had plenty of practice for navigating through the dark.

His goal is to make you scream and he’s not gonna let your shirt get in the way of that. Expect for him to still tease your hardened nipples through your shirt, will even suck on them through your shirt, he doesn’t care.

Billy Loomis

He dated Sydney for a decent amount of time, this isn’t his first rodeo with a “the clothes stay on rule.” Of course, he would never tell you that. Besides, at least he still gets to fuck you even if you do want to keep your shirt on.

Billy is the most likely to have a conversation with you about how he can make you feel more comfortable. He may be a psychopath but he really can be loving and considerate towards the people he really cares about.

He’s not going to pretend like he doesn’t want to see you completely naked. He’s a smooth talker so you can bet that he’s going to be flirting and doing his best to convince you to just let him slip your shirt over your head. Like pls, just a quick peak.

If you ever decide to take your shirt off he does nothing but compliment you. Of course those compliments still come with a bit of degrading but if you’re dating Billy you’re used to being called his pretty little slut.

Jesse Cromeans

If you’re going to keep your shirt on he’s going to make sure that it’s some fancy designer shirts. Or better yet, one of his fancy designer shirts that is way to big on you. He would love nothing more to fuck you while you’re wearing one of his shirts.

Understands your insecurity and doesn’t try and push past your boundaries. Jesse has enough fun pushing your physical boundaries during sex. You’re most definitely always sore the next day.

Jesse would love to film you while he pounds into you but if he knows that you’re insecure he’s not going to ask. He doesn’t want you to feel pressured into doing something and knows it’s something you most likely wouldn’t be comfortable doing anyways if you’re insecure. He knows that he would hate for you to pressure him into taking his mask off, so he would never put you in that kind of position.

If you ever feel comfortable enough to take off your shirt he goes out of his way to make sure you’re comfortable the whole time. Jesse will make sure to constantly check in on you and make sure you’re okay with everything.

Asa Emory

He’s the worst one considering that he kidnaps you, so it’s not like you have much of a say in what happens. Whatever Asa wants from you, he’s going to get from you whether it be the easy way or the hard way.

If he cares about you enough to bring you to his home, then he’s more likely to listen when you express your insecurities and discomfort with being completely nude.

But if he decides he wants to see you completely bared to him while your locked up in his hotel then he’s just going to cut your shirt off with that knife of his and that’s that.

At the end of the day, Asa will always be a sadist and thrives off of your fear and embarrassment. It would take a lot for him to listen to your requests since he pretty much views you as nothing more than an exotic pet.

[boeswhore]

I feel as though everyone on hockeyblr rn has baby fever… that being said… spare girl dad jamie drysdale crumbs pls?

omg don’t gotta ask me twice to write about my jamieson <3 major girl dad vibes from him !

you’re awaken by the cries of your baby girl from the nursery room causing you to sigh softly as you slowly lift yourself out of bed. jamie’s hand gently holds your wrist before sliding off as well.

“i’ll come with you,”

you nod as you both trudge towards little auroras room. jamie’s eyes light up once they land on her as he grabs her in his arms, swaying her back and forth.

“what’s going on my princessa?” he coos, leaning down to press a soft kiss against her nose and immediately her cries dimmed down as she stared up at her dad with big eyes.

“daddy’s got you, are you hungry?” he asks as he takes a seat in the rocking chair while aurora babbles in response.

“i’ll grab her bottle,”

jamie nods, his eyes trained on his little human being in his arms as you walk out of the room.

he wore the girl dad title proud, when he found out you were having a girl he was overjoyed.

jamie was often on the road so whenever he was home all he wanted was to spend all of his time with his two girls. he will constantly drag aurora with him everywhere.

while he’s cooking, he’ll balance her in his hip and ramble to her about random things. when he’ll be watching tv, he’ll have her resting against his chest while he gently rubs his hand up and down her back occasionally pressing pecks against her forehead.

“while your mommy is grabbing you your milky, do you want me to tell you another story?” he asks, as aurora tilts her head giggling up at jamie.

“i’ll take that as a yes sunshine,”

his eyes scan the bookshelf for a quick and easy picture book but he decides to tell a story of his own while he waited for you to bring up her bottle.

“so today we’re going to talk about how your pretty mamma told me you were her in belly.” jamie starts as he gently tickles her sides causing aurora to squeal in delight.

“i was coming back home from a road trip and your mamma didn’t text me properly at all for a few days and i was getting worried. i thought she was mad at me but little did i know— i was going to get the best news of my life.”

you shake her bottle and stop at the door when you hear jamie say your name.

“when i got home, y/n broke the news and gave me a shirt that said baby drysdale on the way. my heart dropped to my stomach. i couldn’t believe it. i was nervous but knowing that i had your mamma by my side i knew i could accomplish anything. when i found it was a girl, i knew automatically that you’re going to be daddy’s little girl,”

your grin at the sight of your husband and baby daughter as she babbles in response to jamie as reaches out to grab his finger.

“m-mamma,” aurora babbles causing jamie to grin, “yes rori, mamma and you mean the whole world to me. i’m so glad she gave me you.”

you decide to walk in now and jamie looks up at you and smiles, “look bubby, mammas here!” jamie murmurs as you pass him the bottle.

“what story did you read to her today?” you ask and jamie looks up, bringing to the bottle to her lips. “that’s a secret between me and my little bug,” jamie replies causing you to shake your head as you bite back the smile on your lip.

as aurora finishes up her bottle, jamie gently rocks her body to sleep.

“she looks like you, beautiful.” he whispers, placing a kiss to her nose.

you smile softly leaning into jamie’s side, pressing a kiss his lips.

it was in this moment where it hit you. your life was complete. you were married to the love of your life, had a loving husband that loved his daughter more than anyone else, for once you felt happy and peace.

a sense of contentment, you were home.

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Kim Sunwoo - Hands Off [Requested]

softdom!Sunwoo x gf!reader

Request: Sunwoo likes to play with his girlfriend's breasts

Warnings: mentions of bullying, body image, underage drinking, anxiety (very brief), titfucking

Long overdue request for @ace-seventeen-world , I hope you like it! Also first time writing anything about titfucking, I hope it turned out alright. 🙏🏽

Sunwoo loves you even when you don't feel like loving yourself.

Being well-endowed since puberty hit meant you received a lot of unwanted attention from all genders. Some would pass judgement, calling you desperate for attention; and some would ogle and make lewd comments. This led to you coming to school wearing oversized baggy clothes and even turtlenecks no matter the weather. The less your body was apparent for people to judge, the better, you thought. Except the comments never stopped. You were so sick of your body being the talk of the student population of your small-town high school that you couldn't wait to graduate; and move far away to start afresh in college, where you futilely hoped that people would be more mature about these things.

Moving away for college turned out to be the best decision you made. You made a whole bunch of new, more mature friends who taught you to embrace and appreciate your body. Inappropriate comments from strangers still came your way, but with your new, reliable support system, you learnt to shut them out, and your girlfriends would even try to fight them for you, which made you feel very touched and grateful. Apparently, this sincerity didn't stop with just your good friends. That was also how you met your current boyfriend. Your friends had convinced you to come with them to a party during your first semester, and you allowed them to doll you up, upon much pestering. You were dressed in a nice blouse and skirt, which turned some heads at the party, and though you felt rather self-conscious in the beginning, you loosened up after a few drinks and dances. From there, you didn't care if people paid good or bad attention to you; all you wanted was to have fun with your best friends.

One of your friends introduced you to a gaggle of other first- and second-years, who were very loud and goofy, except for one; who had previously been laughing boisterously along with them until he set his eyes on you. He abruptly stopped laughing when you made eye contact, and you could have sworn he developed a light flush. With pouty lips and dark eyes, and a mop of fluffy black hair, he smiled shyly at you, nodding in acknowledgement and softly introducing himself. His voice was deep and had an attractive drawl and a pleasant raspiness. His name was Sunwoo, and you ingrained it into your memory easily, smiling shyly back at him. You mostly kept to yourself as the rest of them chatted, nursing your drink when a flurry of words and a loud slap shook you. You whipped around to see one of the boys, with cotton-candy hair and sharp feline eyes rubbing his arm and muttering under his breath next to Sunwoo, who was staring at you while whispering something to the boy - Eric, was it?

"Apologize!" Sunwoo hissed, nudging him. You tried to back off but Eric nervously came forward and rubbed his neck sheepishly, stuttering an apology while avoiding your eyes. He didn't specify what he was apologizing for, but you already had an inkling. All your friends were now staring at you, confused as to what had transpired. Unable to handle the stifling awkwardness, you quickly murmured "It's fine, Eric," before speedwalking away to get some fresh air, unaware that a certain dark-haired boy was scurrying after you. You turned to the nearest balcony and hurriedly gulped some fresh air to calm down, all-too-familiar feelings of panic and shame drowning you. You fought back tears, ignoring some of the smokers occupying the same space, who were looking at you with a mixture of confusion and pity. You managed to calm your breathing, and blink back tears, when a figure slowly comes to stand next to you. He doesn't look at you out of courtesy, fixing his gaze straight ahead. "Are you alright?" he asks softly. You nod firmly, trying to seem completely calm. "Eric... sometimes says things without thinking, but I know that's not an excuse. I just want to apologize again, for making you uncomfortable." His voice is gentle and soothing, and you tilt your head to face him, since he was a bit taller.

"It's not your fault, but thanks Sunwoo. And don't worry, parties aren't really my thing, I just came cause my friends were begging me to join them," you chuckle softly, to which Sunwoo gives you a lopsided grin.

"I feel you on that. I'm here to look after my idiot friends."

You share a good laugh, and spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other, but conversation comes easy, like you've known each other for years.

You and Sunwoo's paths seem to cross often, apparently because his faculty was right next to yours, and soon your friend groups merge and become one massive group, and you've even forgiven Eric. Days turned into months, casual meetups turned into lunch and movie dates, and soon you and Sunwoo are constantly switching back and forth staying over at each other's apartments.

Ever since you two started dating and you've gotten used to wearing more comfortable clothes around him, you've noticed him staring at your chest every now and then, but at least he had the decency to look apologetic and embarrassed whenever you catch him. You started to tease him, and he would bashfully hide his face and whine cutely. To get back at you, he'd purposely keep his hands cold and hug you out of nowhere, just to hear you squeal, knowing you're ticklish. Sometimes he'd be even bolder, trailing his hands up your sides and cupping your breasts under your shirt, especially when you walk around the house with no bra on. He'd do it when you're cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or worse, when you're trying to study. You didn't mind it usually, since you appreciated the support from his hands since the weight of your breasts takes a toll on your back, and you weren't fond of wearing a bra 24/7. Except the little shit likes to tease, jiggling them around and squeezing them when he's being extra playful, even grazing your nipples with his fingertips; chuckling lowly in your ear when you gasp or squirm in pleasure.

One night in bed, you confront him jokingly. Your period was on its way soon, and your breasts were feeling extra tender and swollen, something you had complained about, so your dear boyfriend very happily obliged, massaging them gently to ease your discomfort. After a while he gets bored, and starts prodding them, round eyes watching intently as they bounce. You can't help but laugh at how adorably fascinated he looks, so you ask him why he's so enamored by your boobs.

"They're just.. fun to play with, yknow? Bouncy and squishy. Can't help myself okay, you're just so perfect," Sunwoo grumbles, blushing again since he got caught.

"Yeah? What if I lose weight and they get smaller? Will you still like me then?" you ask, feeling rather self-conscious, irrational worries that he only likes you for your assets filling your mind. You try to ignore them, knowing your relationship with Sunwoo was much more than superficial, but trauma and bad memories keep causing you to doubt yourself.

"Of course I would!" Sunwoo gasps, reaching up to hold your face urgently but with such a tender gaze in his eyes. "It's still you, and you'll always be perfect, and I love you no matter what."

Tears welled up in your eyes when he said those words. Few people had treated you with such genuine kindness and you were so grateful to have him as your partner. You squished his cheeks together and pressed a kiss to his lips, surprising him. "I love you too, Sunwoo," you whispered, a small smile on your teary face. A cheeky grin slowly replaces the shock on his face. "Shall I show you just how much I love you?" he drawls, crawling on top of you, making you lay down on the bed. Sunwoo positions you to nestle comfortably against the pillows, helping you take your shirt off afterwards.

Your cheeks start to heat up at Sunwoo's intense gaze raking over your body, and your arms habitually come up to shield your breasts, but he's quick to catch them, gently pulling them away. "Don't be shy. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out," he murmurs, making you blush even harder. He kisses you deeply, before trailing his lips down, pressing light kisses down your neck and across your chest, gently nipping at the skin just above your right nipple. He resumes massaging your breasts, admiring the way your face scrunches up cutely in pleasure, his warm hands on your skin making you sigh happily. He leans down again, tracing a circle around your areola, making you shiver. He teases you a little more, flicking your hardened nub with his tongue before finally latching on and suckling on it, rubbing it periodically with his tongue. His hands are still massaging your breasts, twisting and tugging on your other nipple.

He pulls off with a satisfied 'pop' when you whine, pleased with how raw and puffy your nipple has become, glistening with an abundance of his spit. He dives back down to subject your other nipple to the same treatment, but this time, his free hand creeps down your tummy and between your thighs. You moan when he grazes your clit with his fingertips, and you can feel his plush lips smirk into your skin, obviously proud of himself. You willingly part your legs, and he dips his middle finger straight into your folds, your juices coating his finger instantly. He raises his head to look at you, eyebrows raised cheekily. "So wet already, babe? Always knew your nipples were so sensitive," he chuckles, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you. You shut your eyes, the stimulation of his mouth on your chest and his hand on your pussy clouding your mind. He inserts another finger and pumps you faster while he drags his teeth against your puffy nipple, making you shiver and moan even louder.

He starts leaving hickeys and bites all over your decolletage, looking forward to seeing those pretty marks bloom purple tomorrow morning. Finally, he eases up on his ministrations on your chest, and focused on fucking you hard and fast with his fingers, slamming three digits into your core, gleefully watching the way your breasts jiggle from the impact. He glances up at your face, finding your head tossed back, soft mewls and moans falling from raw, bitten lips. You're clutching the bedsheets in a death grip as Sunwoo starts sucking on your clit as he fingers you. He sucks hard, nudging it with his tongue every so often as he slows down his thrusts, opting to scissor you open and drag his fingertips along your walls, rubbing hard against your g-spot when he finds it, indicated by your shrill yelp. "B-babe, gonna c-cum," you gasp, still writhing in pleasure. "Go on, love, cum for me," he mumbles against your core, and soon you're clenching on his fingers, coating them with your cum, and he continues to fuck you through your climax.

Gasping for air, you wince as he pulls his fingers out, pussy clenching on nothing as you watch him idly put them in his mouth, sucking them clean. He smiles lazily at you, telling you how sweet you taste and even gives you a kiss, making you taste yourself. Your cheeks turn crimson again, and you decide you want to return the favor, having felt his hard cock pressing against your thigh when he leaned down to kiss you. You eye the tent in his jeans, and start unbuckling his belt. He looks at you in alarm, grasping your hands to stop you. "Baby, you don't have to do that, this is about you," he smiles gently. You pout at him. "But I wanna help you too! I have an idea that I always wanted to try with you…" Sunwoo takes a moment to consider, making sure you were genuinely comfortable doing so, and his eyes glimmer with anticipation when he nods in agreement. You beam wordlessly at him, helping him out of his jeans and boxers. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of his erect cock.

Sunwoo's dick always made you feel good, whether it was fucking your pussy or your throat, but you always wondered what it would feel like sliding between your bountiful breasts. You pull him up to straddle your chest, and his eyes widen when he realizes what you want him to do. "Really?" he gasps, dick twitching with excitement when you readily nod. He chokes on a moan when you swipe your finger up his cock, gathering his dripping precum to slather it between your breasts. He slowly slides his dick into the valley between your breasts as your hands push them together, making it even tighter around him, and he groans lowly. Sunwoo thrusts shallowly, loving the way the smooth skin of your breasts feels around his aching cock. He begins to take over, his larger, warmer hands replacing yours, squishing your tits together as he rocks his hips faster, becoming addicted to the the feeling. It wasn't much physical stimulation for you, but you felt yourself getting hot again watching his face contort in pleasure, his tightening grip on your tender, sensitive breasts rather arousing. You can't look away, mesmerized by how good he looks with his lower lip caught between his teeth, grunting softly as he uses your tits to get himself off.

"You look so hot like this Sunwoo," you murmur, your hand resting on his thigh as he continues to piston his hips. He barks out a breathless laugh, "Have you looked at yourself properly? You're fucking gorgeous, babe, don't you ever forget that. Although, I'm down to remind you all the time." he winks. You smirk at him, and your hands come up to squeeze his muscular ass, the same way he likes to squeeze your boobs. He's got a nice butt, you had to admit, toned and sculpted from years of various sports, and it was your weakness the same way your breasts were his. He moans louder when he feels you groping his ass, hips stuttering as he approaches his climax. He throws his head back as he fucks erratically, squishing your tits even tighter together and you keen at the rough treatment. You coax him in a soft whisper to cum all over your tits, and soon he does, painting your chest white as his hips slow down, and he's gasping for air. A little bit of his cum has spurted onto your lips, but you willingly lick it up and smile up at him, your hands still soothingly rubbing his cheeks as he comes down from his high.

You grab some wet tissues from your bedside drawers and clean up your chest as best as you could, wiping away all the cum before Sunwoo flops next to you, resting his head on your chest the way he usually loves to. You lay there in comfortable silence for a while more, stroking his hair and you feel him smile into your skin, his finger absentmindedly tracing the hickeys he's left across your breasts. Maybe going to that party all those months ago was the best decision you ever made (second only to moving here for college), and maybe you and Sunwoo finally get out of bed to shower, and maybe you go for a second round in the bathroom, filling the steamy air with echoes of wet skin slapping and soft proclamations of 'I love you's.