#it's not even about bellarke it's about BELLAMY BLAKE not getting the happy ending he deserved

[anditwentlikethis]

Clarke killed Bellamy for a book that she ended up not getting, to protect Madi that ended up dying anyways, and then it turns out Bellamy was right all along. So Bellamy literally died for nothing

[honestlydarkprincess]

writing patterns

tagged by @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @exhuastedpigeon mwah

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

we made it (knew that we would be alright) - buckley siblings, rated G “Not that I’m not happy to have lunch with you, Mads, but it was kind out of the blue, everything okay?” Buck asked, putting his drink down after taking a sip. They were waiting for their food at this cute little diner that they loved to come to together and Maddie had been nervously fidgeting for ten minutes now. Buck couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask.

send a flare up in the dark (and i'll come find you) - buddie, rated T “Why are we here, Natalia?” Buck grumbled, looking miserable as he took a big sip of his beer. He picked at the plate of fries that sat on the table between them, shoving one of them in his mouth with a sigh. “We could have just stayed in.”

whatever shall we do - buddie, rated T Buck was immediately suspicious when Eddie sat down across from him at the table in the loft and gave him a wide smile. “What do you want?”

race to the sun (rest when it's over) - buddie, rated E Buck knew that he shouldn’t taunt Eddie while they were fucking. Really, he did. But it just got Eddie so riled up when Buck was a brat that he couldn’t help himself.

i could be the one to make you fall (again and again) - bellarke, rated E Normally, hanging out with the Blake siblings would be a very good night for Clarke. It was her preferred way of spending an evening to be honest. She loved spending time with her best friend and her best friend’s older brother— who also happened to be her crush. Falling for her best friend’s brother was not something Clarke had intended to do and it was times like these that reminded Clarke of just why it was a bad idea.

new sensations, sweet temptations - thiam, rated E When Liam’s mom Jenna started dating his classmate Theo’s adoptive dad David, Liam hadn’t thought all that much about it. His mom hadn’t really dated since his father had died when he was a baby, so he hadn’t thought this would stick. He had been friendly enough when she had brought David home, even played nice with his son Theo. They didn’t get along all that well at school but there were never any problems. Not in high-school and not when they ended up at the same college. Not until Theo became a more concrete part of his life.

all in - hangster, rated E If you had told Rooster a week ago that he would be stumbling into his base housing with Hangman, making out against every surface Rooster could push him into, he would have called you a liar. As it was, he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening, even though Hangman’s tongue was currently in his mouth.

in the middle - buddie/natalia, rated E Eddie jogged up to Buck’s apartment, whistling absentmindedly as he played with his keys. They were planning to go out to a bar tonight for a couple of drinks and then come back to Buck’s for a movie. Eddie would admit that he didn’t really want to go out tonight, would much rather stay in and get all of Buck’s attention on him. But Buck was really excited to try this new bar and Eddie couldn’t say no to him.

help me to help myself - bellarke, rated E Agreeing to live with Bellamy was not, objectively, one of Clarke’s better ideas. Crushing on her college roommate’s older brother turned best friend? An even worse idea. They had been best friends for years now and the pining was getting a bit ridiculous.

make me crawl, make me beg, make me bleed - hannigram, rated E Hannibal let out a gasp as he was pressed against the filthy brick wall of the alleyway outside the night club. He could feel the beat of the music pulsing along the wall. The guy he had picked up took his gasp as one of pleasure, grinning in a way that he probably thought was seductive. But to Hannibal, it was sleazy. Ugly. Beneath him. Yet, this is the guy Will had chosen and since it was Will’s birthday, Hannibal had left the choice of mark up to Will.

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @usersiren, @morganofthefairies, @swiftietartt, @princessfbi, @loserdiaz, @monsterrae1, @giddyupbuck, @father-salmon, @underwater-ninja-13, @hoodie-buck, @spagheddiediaz, @malewifediaz, @eddiiediaz, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @spotsandsocks, @hippolotamus, @wikiangela, @theotherbuckley, @watchyourbuck, @fortheloveofbuddie, @buck-coded, @daffi-990, @911onabc, @arthursdent, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @maygrantgf

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

Idk if you’ve already made a list or whatnot but do you have like a top 10 fav ships? From any media or anything, like all time

I'm always happy to blabber about former/current hyperfixations so this question is perfect. This is in no particular order except for the first one, they will always be my #1:

kyoru (Kyo Sohma/Tohru Honda) from Fruits Basket: The 👏🏻 ship 👏🏻 ever 👏🏻 They invented love, their relationship has the perfect development and resolution, they truly love and understand each other and have such amazing character arcs both individually and together. Kyo's realization that he loves Tohru is my favorite episode in the entire show and it's constantly on repeat in the back of my mind: "She didn't erase all my pain or offer to solve all my problems. She didn't fix what was broken, but that's not what I needed anyway. What mattered most was that she stayed."

hualian (Hua Cheng/Xie Lian) from TGCF: Another couple that invented love. I sprinted through these books while season 2 was being animated and the absolute faith and trust those two have in each other is unparalleled. "What matters is you, not the state of you" has been imprinted on my brain. I cried so many times while reading these books, they were amazing, definitely one of my favorite stories ever.

mikayuu (Mika/Yuu Hyakuya) from Seraph of the End: These boys... I'm still actively reading the chapters from this manga despite having no fuckin clue what's going on with the plot all because I'm so invested in these boys. Devoted to each other since they were kids, the epitome of "I'd burn down the world to save you". Everything they do is for each other, they are always each other's first choice in everything. And we got a canon confession which is insane to me. I'll never be over them.

satosugu (Gojo Satoru/Geto Suguru) from JJK: Probably the ship that makes me the most emotional in the worst way. I'm a sucker for a good tragedy and those two fit the mold perfectly. The absolute love they have for each other even after they've split makes me so emotional. If you don't see their relationship as romantic idk what to tell you, you're just blind. Jjk 0 and the Gojo being sealed are two scenes that fuck me up each time without fail. I could rave about them for hours.

itafushi (Itadori Yuuji/Fushiguro Megumi) from JJK: The boys I'm best known for. Now, I enjoyed them as a ship from the beginning but it wasn't a true "they're everything to me" until the Itadori Extermination Arc. Yuuji's "you'll only be hurt if you're with me" and Megumi's "start by saving me" had me GAGGED. That's when I really started to pay attention and went back and became extremely invested instead of a casual enjoyer. They've always done their best to watch each other's backs and stick together. 216 fucked me up SO BAD, and everything Yuuji has done since them is to try and get Megumi back. They love each other so much, they are the parallel to stsg that will make it. I don't know how anyone can read the manga and not see how much they love each other.

bellarke (Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin) from The 100: This was my SHIP back in high school. I was obsessed with The 100 back in the day and these two were everything to me. Enemies to friends to lovers is my favorite dynamic, and these two fit that bill perfectly. Everything about their relationship was so perfectly set up for them to be endgame and yet the writing for the last few seasons was SO FUCKING BAD that I couldn't even watch the last season. From what I hear, they totally switched up Bellamy's character and he switched up on Clarke so quickly when he's always been her #1 supporter after they became friends. Their friendship was my favorite thing about the show, they truly were each other's right-hand man and constantly looked out for each other. Still pissed about what we could have had.

akiangel (Aki Haykawa/Angel Devil) from Chainsaw Man: Another tragic ship. I cannot wait to see these two animated together. I binge read all of Chainsaw Man (which was like 98 chapters at the time?) in two days and it rewired my brain. The staunch hatred/dislike of each other's kind out of principle to slowly realizing that they actually do care about each other was so good. They have such a subtle chemistry and relationship, it was one of my favorites in the series. Aki reaching out a hand to save Angel and them holding onto each other during the Bomb Girl Arc is probably my favorite scene in the entire manga, I can't wait for them to get their flowers once it's animated.

tododeku (Shouto Todoroki/Izuku Midoriya) from MHA: Narrative foils. What more can I say. These two have so many parallels in their arcs and have such a great relationship. Idk how this ship isn't more popular with how healthy their relationship is and how it started off with such strife. Deku also means so much to Todoroki and you can see that throughout the entire series that their friendship means the world to him. They give each other such a good support system, I adore them.

bokuaka (Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji) from Haikyuu: Simp behavior, the both of them. You don't really see it initially, but these two are obsessed with each other. The Fukurodani v Mujinazaka game was so incredible for diving into their characters and relationship more! Finding out that Akaashi only came to Fukurodani because he saw a cute jock play ONE game was so funny because you don't expect him to be a love at first sight character in the slightest. He and Bokuto work so well together, they balance each other out and understand each other on such a deep level, you can't convince me they aren't in love. They bring out the best in each other and know how to get the other out of their head.

zelink (Princess Zelda/Link) from Legend of Zelda: This is specifically going to be focused on botw/totk zelink because those are the games where their relationship is explored the most, but MY GOD. Those two make me weak. Link is just this autistic/selectively mute dude who's just trying to do his job and Zelda is so jealous of his freedom and ease of being able to do his assigned role without trouble that seeing the development of their friendship/relationship through the memories was my favorite part of the game. Their bond is so strong, they truly become each other's biggest link in the chain of their support system. Totk in particular made me cry multiple times because of the tragedy of realizing what happened to Zelda that imagining what Link must be feeling upon the discovery fucks me up. They never stop fighting to protect each other and never lose faith in each other.

[cs-and-bellarke]

Bellarke- Love isn't weakness

Ao3, FF

Prev / Next Part

Chapter 12

Bellamy's P.O.V

“What are you writing princess?” I ask when I see her put her book down.

“The story of my life” she tells me.

“Is it for school”

“No, it’s too sad for that, but some of the things Murphy doesn’t even know about so…”

“Would you let me read it?”

“Maybe one day, I have to get home...I’ll see you later”she says and gets up to leave.

“Yeah I’ll see you later” I say as she leaves.

Something is going on with her and I want her to be able to come to me when she needs to talk to someone, I know she has been hurt by so many people in her life and I just want to be the one to hold her and make her believe that everything will be okay. I have deep feelings for Clarke and when O said that she didn’t mind if me and Clarke dated, I was happy and yet nothing has happened because I know if I asked her out she will say she is not ready to be in a relationship and to be honest neither am I. Of course I have feelings for her but only one person who knows is O and she just wants me to be happy, I was on the couch and the only thing that is on my mind is Clarke writing in that damn book. I’ve noticed that she takes that book everywhere she goes and she is always writing. I know it’s not a diary but it’s some kind of journal maybe about her life. 

Clarke’s P.O.V

Bellamy keeps wanting to know what I have been writing in my book but if he knew what I was writing I think he would give me pity then hate me because I talked about him being a player and how I don’t want to get my heart broken. I do have feelings for Bellamy but I have to listen to Lexa and somehow make up how I treated her before she died, Love is weakness and I have to stick by having only one love in my life and that is the love I have for Murphy and only him. 

*in Clarke’s journal*

Back to the fact of my feelings for Bellamy Blake and how I want to have him be with me and no one else. And I want to be able to tell him about my past and for him to understand that I am the way I am because of how I grew up, but I don’t want his pity and if he knows and doesn’t give me pity then maybe I can see a future with him. 

That will never happen but I wish it would...he’s a good friend and if he wasn’t a player then maybe he would be a good person for me to be with...just maybe. Being around him makes me happy and safe for some reason, having him around keeps me sane I guess you could say. Bellamy Blake is so sweet and kind to me and it makes me feel even more for him then I already do, I don’t know why he is sweet to me and kind and I just can’t be sure he won’t just want me because he thinks I can give him a good time. 

He can have anyone he wants and yet he is being so sweet to me and I didn’t even do anything to him for him to be nice or anything like that. Sometimes he confuses me as to what he wants or why he does some of the things he does, maybe I should talk to Octavia about it or maybe even Murphy because Murphy and Bellamy are like best friends. Bellamy is probably wondering why Murphy is so protective of me but there’s a reason why people don’t know Murphy is my brother, people don’t know because Murphy is not the best person so when it comes to the law so as to prevent people thinking I’ll do the same thing we didn’t tell people we were related. 

So when people see Murphy protecting me they think we are either together or sleeping together which is disgusting because he is MY BROTHER of all people...and I bet Bellamy thinks the same thing knowing him. Sitting alone at home gets people thinking that maybe there is more to life than what high school shows us and teaches us over the years...life is more about what they put in movies and what they say and teaches us in school no matter what grade you are in. 

I’m hoping that Bellamy will change within this last year of high school.

*End of the writing*

After writing what I’ve been feeling I chose to take a nap because writing made me tired, after about an hour and half of sleeping I got up and looked at my phone. I had 2 texts from Bellamy and 6 from Octavia.

(B=Bellamy, O=Octavia, C=Clarke)

B- hey I was wondering what you were up to.

B- tonight?

O- Clarke, Bellamy is being mean and won't tell me what's wrong with him

O- can you ask him what’s wrong with him?

O- Please.

O- CLARKE ANSWER ME PLZ.

O- I’m sorry for texting so much but Bell is pissing me off

O- help me.

After reading all of O’s texts I decided to call Bellamy to see why he was wondering what I was doing tonight. I have nothing to do like always so why not go somewhere with the one person I like hanging out with the most other than Octavia, don’t get me wrong I love hanging out with O but sometimes she is a little too much for me to handle within one week. 

[thesupremeoverlordismysister]

I posted 1,795 times in 2022

20 posts created (1%)

1,775 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nerdgul

@plaidbooks

@robiinbuckley

@bchemiqn

@kazs-inej

I tagged 134 of my posts in 2022

#* - 19 posts

#stranger things - 19 posts

#tvedit - 17 posts

#strangerthingsedit - 17 posts

#first kill - 16 posts

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#ballum - 16 posts

#firstkilledit - 14 posts

#charlie x matteusz - 14 posts

#dailystrangerthings - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#this was gonna be longer but my laptop is hot photoshop keeps crashing and im going to watch that preview clip 500 times before tomorrow

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

9 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#4

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Terra Harvey/Riven, Bloom/Sky (Winx Club), Terra Harvey & Musa Characters: Terra Harvey, Riven (Winx Club), Sky (Winx Club), Bloom (Winx Club), Stella (Winx Club), Musa (Winx Club), Aisha | Layla (Winx Club) Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Insomnia, Fear, Panic Attacks, Panic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, Soft Riven (Winx Club), Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Emotional Hurt, Captivity, Isolation, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Character Development, Friendship/Love, Enemies to Friends, Female Friendship, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, supportive friends, Secret Crush, Team as Family, I Made Myself Cry, Tears, Men Crying, Confessions Summary:

Terra is a good person. She’s always valued that about herself. Knowing right from wrong and good from bad. She’s always known what choice is best to make. This time, however, she’s not so sure.

Or Riven is suffering worse than anyone knows and Terra is the one to help him learn to heal.

14 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The 100 (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin/Wells Jaha, Clarke Griffin & Wells Jaha Characters: Bellamy Blake, Clarke Griffin, Wells Jaha Additional Tags: Bellarke January Joy 2022 (The 100), Established Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Misunderstandings, Letters, Idiots in Love, Love Letters, Running Away, Clarke Griffin & Wells Jaha Friendship, Modern Setting Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era, Forbidden Love, Getting Back Together, bjj2022 Summary:

Somehow, they always seem to find their way back to each other.

15 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

#2

Walker Scobell as Percy Jackson wasn’t even on my bingo card. This kid did such a fantastic job in the Adam Project and I’m so excited to see what he does with Persassy.

91 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I trust Rick. I cannot wait.

99 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bellamyblake]

From left to right

Bellarke fanfic inspired by the prompt SWAY from this list, I wrote a short prompt that goes like this:

Clarke comes home to find Bellamy cooking in the kitchen, barechest and barefoot. Her heart is overwhelmed with love for him and she wraps her arms around his beautiful torso. He hugs her back and starts swaying, surprising her when he does so because she knows how much he hates everything that has to do with dancing. They end up wrapped in each other's arms for a while until she finally decides to share some important news with him.

There’s many things that Clarke absolutely loves about being with Bellamy Blake.

There’s the soft kisses that he gives her every morning when he’s trying to wake her up and the gentle chuckle that escapes his lips when she groans and refuses to move away from his arms.

There’s the way he so casually throws his hand over her middle and pulls her over at night when she’s tossing left and right because the nightmares and anxiety from everything they’ve been through and her still being part of the council, taking important decisions for everyone at camp, often took its toll on her.

She absolutely adores him when he massages her head at night or combs her hair because she’s too tired to do so herself but also loves it when he does it even if he is exhausted from his own guard shifts or hunting trips.

Then there’s the way he drags his index finger over her spine sometimes early in the morning before his hand ultimately falls to her beautiful ass and he squeezes it gently, producing the most adorable meowing sound out of her before she rolls over and she finds his dick already hard and ready to come inside her.

Yes, there’s many things she absolutely loves about Bellamy Blake.

From his beautiful smile, to the way he kisses her every time without fail with so much love and adoration, absolutely putting his heart out and trying to pour it out into her every time, to the way he falls asleep at night with his mouth opened just a bit as the quiet snores escape his lips and make her squirm with happiness.

He gave everything to her, all that he could, was insistant on making her happy at any cost all the time.

Despite everything they were still dealing with after being on the ground for three years and only finally getting over themselves a year after they finally settled and actually became a couple that lived together, he never once failed to bring a smile to her face whenever she came home from a long day at work.

They were always busy and sometimes they had to leave camp for days to go over peace treaties or negotiations or simply to appeal to the grounders by attending some of their endless festivals of celebrating god knows what.

They couldn’t be together every time so when they came home they would throw themselves in each other’s arms and spent the next two days in the cabin he built for them with his own bare hands, rolling around in bed, having sex and ultimately also just sleeping because they were exhasuted.

They still had bad days and though they weren’t as frequent, they were there.

On Clarke’s worst ones, he’d pick her up and carry her outside to their back porch, telling her stories of mighty greek gods or characters in books he’s read about while she cried until she passed out.

On Bellamy’s, he liked to lay around in bed and not move for hours. She’d come and spoon him when he felt like being touched. Otherwise she’d get our and about around the cabin, doing mindless, stupid house chores but never truly leave-it was the way Bellamy did this-he didn’t want to be the center of attention even when he needed it but he couldn’t be left alone either because that broke him even worse.

Clarke’s most favorite thing of all of them, though, was when they’d sway.

Yes, it sounded stupid, she knew and Bellamy wasn’t the best of dancers either but it was one of the most amazing things to ever happen to her.

The first time it did, it was casual-she had just come home from a long and awfully tiring day at the council and found him cooking dinner on their self-made stove that he put together with Monty’s help.

He had taken off his shirt, leaving himself in just his black jeans while his feet remained bare (he always walked barefoot around the house no matter what the weather was). It was hot outside and he had opened the window above the sink to try and let the smoke from his cooking out.

She came quietly from behind him but knew he had heard her because their front door creaked awfully and they both hated and loved it.

She took the time ot look at all the scars on his back which she had mapped a hundred times but never got tired of touching and kissing.

He had a long one up on his left shoulder blade that he got just last winter when he fell bad during a hunting trip and cut himself on a big rock while they were chasing a deer that would help feed the camp. He had dislocated it too and Clarke had been so angry at him that she yelled while his mom tried to fix him up.

Then there was another one at his lower back, right in the middle of his spine that he got while falling from the roof of one of the cabins he was building.

There was another crescent-like one that started from his chest, right under his heart and want all the way back-from a boar that got too angry with him and barely left him alive.

“Smells good.” she had said as she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her head against his back which was her way of saying hi.

“I know, I’m such a great cook.” he said in pretend cockiness just to tease her. She slapped his shoulder but kissed the scar there and pulled his body to her.

"I think Murphy would disagree." she whispered "He is, after all, in charge of mess hall and the entire camp."

"Do you think he's better than me?"

"Maybe." she teased and he threw her a rather annoyed look behind his shoulder.

"Then I guess I'm gonna eat all of this bacon by myself."

"Don't you dare! You know it's my favorite!" he chuckled and let her kiss the soft skin of his back and marvel at the freckles covering half his torso.

He let go of the spatula he was using and covered her hand with his, then he brought it up and kissed her knuckles before he gently swayed them together.

Clarke’s eyes had widened in surprise.

“Are you dancing?” she asked confused and he chuckles.

“No, I’m swaying.” he whispered, then turned around and let her wrap her arms around him again while he moved down to kiss her lips.

She moaned a little and when he pulled away, she whimpered and asked for more which made him chuckle but once he finally looked down on her again, he kept swaying them left and right softly.

“Bellamy Blake-” she whispered “A dancer on the inside, a guard on the outside.”

“Come on now-” he mumbled as he kissed her forehead “Can’t I just hold my beautiful girl in our kitchen and pretend the world doesn’t exist for a while?”

“You most certainly can.” she said and rest her head on his chest, breathing him in and catching the scent of pinewood, freshly baked bacon and some smoked meat as well as basil and parsleys mixed with just the smell that was Bellamy and that made her world better.

“I love it.” he hummed and stroke her head as he kept moving them gently left and right, left and right and Clarke felt peaceful being like this, simply in his arms with the meal cooking behind them and the chirping of the birds or the crowd’s voices coming through the window, making the atmosphere somehow even more special.

The world went on doing its thing but they somehow had that quiet moment to themselves and she knew she had to appreciate it because they rarely ever got that anymore.

“Mom told me once that dad used to sway with her in the kitchen when she was pregnant with me.” he finally let out and Clarke’s head immideately snapped up in his direction.

There was so little Bellamy knew of his dad, mostly piecing things up himself and only recently finding out his dad's file thanks to Raven who was digging up through the archives and trying to restore the system that had been hurt when the Ark landed.

All he knew was that his dad was sentenced to death when he was involved in some sort of group that rioted for better living conditions in Sector 17. From what they found out he was not just a simple worker but a smart, hard working man who believed he could change things for his people.

From his mom he knew they met at school and loved each other ever since. She once told him marrying his dad was the best thing she ever did but he could tell his mom from before his dad’s death was a different person from the one after or the one who gave birth to Octavia. He remembered as much even though he was just four when his dad was floated.

Ever since they dug up those files Bellamy had been quiet and couldn’t sleep that well. He would never bother Clarke with it but she knew and sometimes she got up and tried to just be there for him, talk to him or make him some tea which he took willingly but he was sad and hurting and she felt a bit helpless.

This was the first time he was sharing something like this with her. He had a hard time talking about his mom even if Clarke knew how much he loved her, so she took that as a sign he was willing to open up even if a bit.

“Really?” Bellamy smiled and put his hand on Clarke’s lower back as he kept swinging them gently.

He bowed his head down and pressed it against her forehead as he nodded.

“Apparently she was having a hard time with me. I kicked a lot and kept her awake.”

“So what you’re saying is you've been acting stubborn since the womb, huh?” she joked and he smiled at that but then moved up to touch the back of his head and tug at his curls a little.”Did it help her?”

“She said it was the only thing that calmed her down...just being in his arms.”

“Well the same thing counts for me.” Clarke promised and Bellamy smiled a little again but he seemed rather embarrassed of himself and Clarke couldn’t help but feel even more love for him-he only ever allowed himself to bare his soul like this when they were together and she made sure to never take it for granted.

“I love being here with you.” she pressed her hand on his neck and pulled him down to her chest, letting him rest his forehead on her shoulder and hide in her arms for a moment.

She swallowed hard, preparing herself for what she was about to say next and realizing she never truly could, no matter how much she’s been trying to come up with the right words in the past week.

“I also think...the baby and I would love that too.” his head snapped up in her direction and his body froze, ultimately stopping the soft swaying movements.

She watched his mouth drop and his eyes widen as all blood drained from his face.

“The baby?” he whispered out as both a prayer and a wish. She felt her eyes fill with tears that she let go freely as she gave him a light nod “You’re-”

“Pregnant, yes.” she nods and laughs out a little stressed out.

They started talking about kids just last year when he was done building the cabin and they moved in. They both knew they wanted to have more than one and they felt ready but they decided not to put pressure on themselves or rush this in-they’d simply make love to each other and see where that goes.

With all the days they’ve been away from each other for the past few months they didn’t have enough time to even fuck properly, always rushing in and having quickies in medbay or at the back of the rover or even down by the river when they went for a swim but they had finally taken a few days off last month and as blushy as that made Clarke, they fucked on every possible surface in the cabin.

“You’re pregnant?” he gasped again, his eyes glistening with tears as his hands immideately moved to cover her stomach that was still flat before looking back at her “You’re...you’re sure?”

“I had my suspicions because I’ve been feeling rather tired lately and I didn't get my period this month but I only confirmed it with mom a few days ago.” he kept staring at her like he couldn’t believe his ears but she was confused as weather or not he took it as a good or bad thing “I know it’s not the perfect timing, not with us still not having proper food income and struggling with some of the clans but I think it’s a good thing.”

His hand squeezed hers and he immideately recognized her worries, so he pulled her in to his arms and held her tight.

“It’s not just good-” he whispered “It’s perfect.” Clarke finally felt herself relax and when he pulled away from her he kissed her hard and she felt his tears mix with hers “God...a baby-” he said when he finally pulled away and surprisingly to her fell on his knees, putting his hand on her back and pressing her stomach to his head.

“Hello, little one.” he whispered as his hands moved over her stomach “It’s your dad.” Clarke beamed as she watched him “I promise I’ll keep you and your mom safe.”

“And yourself.” Clarke insisted as she ran her fingers through his curls and pucked his head up by the chin “You’ll be an awesome father, Bellamy Blake.” he blushed and shrugged a little not willing to believe her words “Come up here-” she tugged him by the shoulder and he immideaetly shot up, letting her wrap herself around his big torso and nudge him to the same sways they had before. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” he whispered back “So much.”

“I’ll probably be a handful in the next nine months.”

“That’s okay, I don’t mind at all.”

“Not even if I wake you up in the middle of the night craving smoked slamon and those vinegar onions that you make so well on the fire?”

“You’ve been craving that?” he asks surprised, pulling away from her”I’ll go make that right now.” he turned around and stopped the stove, pulling away the bacon and carrots from the fire.

She laughed at him and tugged him right back to her arms.

“Not now.” she insisted “Now I just want to keep swaying.”

“Alright.” he agreed as he held onto her and pulled her head to his chest “Then we’ll keep doing that.”

She melted in his arms and closed her eyes, imagining and daring to want a future in which Bellamy held their baby in his arms and swayed the same way they were now as he tried to put him to sleep.

Little did she know that was exactly what she was going see a year from now when she came home to the very same picture of Bellamy cooking in the kitchen only with their son strapped to his bare chest as he moved left and right slowly but before that there’d be many more moments like this with him picking her up in his arms and taking her outside to help her cool down from the heat as he held her up and moved her softly from one side to the other while her big belly pressed against his body.

Over the course of her pregnancy he gave everything from himself to make her more comfortable like massaging her legs or bringing her anything (as strange as it was) she craved but nothing in the world could compare to being in his arms and slowly dancing to nothing but the silence of their cabin and the quiet but steady noise of people running out and about camp coming through the kitchen window.

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

For the character ask, i'm gonna throw it back with a bellamy blake

Ooooh, that is a throw back. Bellamy Blake beloved, let’s go. 

First impression

I came to the show late, when gifs of the season two finale were absolutely flooding my dash, so I will say that I was predisposed to like Bellamy and ship Bellarke, but the first few episodes I really disliked Bellamy. I appreciated that he was smart, and resourceful, and clearly cared about his sister, but he was such an arsehole. It wasn’t until Earth Kills and the whole Charlotte debarcle that I really started to warm up to him. 

Impression now

My darling! My beloved! My dearly departed! Honestly, whenever I think about Bellamy now I just get angry. Both the character and Bob Morley were so severely fucked over by that ending it makes me miserable, which is really unfortunate, because I truly believe that - even though from season 3 I feel like the writing team started to lose touch with his character - up until season 7 and whatever that was, it was still recoverable. Bob poured his heart and soul into a character that was so beautiful and complex, he was a phenomenal lead, and it’s just so shitty the way he and his character were treated for such bullshit petty reasons. Maybe one day I’ll be able to think back on Bellamy without all those mixed up feelings, but for now, that’s just not the case. 

Favorite moment

Oof, there’s so many to choose from. But it’s gotta be when he repeats the line “I do it everyday” to Monty’s mum. It’s such a satisfying moment to see him return back to his core values, and actually do what’s best for his people, rather than fall in line behind Pike. I get chills every time. 

Idea for a story

A fic I should finish but have only written the first chapter for is A book tells more than one story. The basic storyline would be that Bellamy finds a copy of the Aeneid, gets super excited because he’s a fucking nerd and also some family history stuff, but when he actually goes to read it the book is so aged and weathered it’s hardly legable. Upset and disappointed, he gives it to Clarke instead as an art pad, given that the paper’s still pretty good quality. Clarke would be confused over the gift, given this would still be Season One kind of era, and that would seem out of character to her, however she talks to Octavia, who explains it all out and also how important history and mythology are to Bellamy, Clarke then decides instead of a general art pad, she’s going to essentially “restore” the book, but has limited knowledge of the original story. She ends up piecing together her own version of the Aenied from the bits she can read, and fills the book back out with her own verses and pictures, and then gifts the book back to Bellamy as a peace offering and an official start to their partnership and friendship. I’d love to write it out properly one day, but for now the first chapter will have to do. 

Unpopular opinion

Bellamy in later seasons (that is season 5 and 6) was not OOC at all and the maturity he developed off-screen in the time jump was actually a welcome and necessary change. Also Aurora Blake gets a bad wrap and isn’t as bad as she’s painted. 

Favorite relationship

Bellarke babey! Bellarke was so so so good. It was perfect and they fucked it up and literally the only thing that makes me not as bitter as I technically feel I should is that Bob and Eliza actually got together. I’m so happy for them and wish them every happiness. 

Favorite headcanon

Not so much a headcanon as canon divergence, but I do have a particular soft spot for the “Season One Era Bellamy and Clarke adopt an abandoned grounder baby” genre of fic. I also really love Bob’s comment that in an ideal world, Bellamy would be a kindergarten teacher, I think it’s really sweet. 

Thanks nonny! I really enjoyed answering these 😊

Send Me a Character and I’ll answer the same questions about them 

[star-sky-earth]

I absolutely love your headcanons, so I wonder what’s your take on a bellarke kiss on the show? Who would initiate it? Would it be soft and loving or hard and all consuming?

okay so i have a LOT of thoughts about this, some of which are controversial, so this might will get long. but i figure you’ve signed up for this, so...

i have so many ideas about a bellarke first kiss on the show, and how it would happen/what it would be like.

although in general i’m not a big fan of the season 5 time jump, i do love the fact that gives us so many versions of bellamy and clarke to play with, and so many delicious dynamics for a writer to explore. one of the reasons that i love bellarke so much (and will continue to love bellarke, you will have to pry this otp from my cold dead hands) is how their dynamic deepens and softens over the course of the show. a bellarke first kiss in s1 would be entirely different from a first kiss in s4, and completely different again from a first kiss in the later seasons. it’s amazing really, that we got such rich character and relationship development in a cw show, and i think that’s because it came about almost entirely accidentally, with very little conscious input from JRoth.

anyway, now i have that rant over with...i like to imagine two or three different bellarke first kiss scenarios.

i said this was gonna get long.

Bellarke S1 kiss

the classic. the original. the good stuff on AO3. stupid murder babies who LOVE each other so much and HATE each other even more. they’re both an explosive mix of vulnerability and bravado which means that neither of them are willing to give even a single inch in an argument, to let their guard down the tiniest bit in case the whole damn facade crumbles away.

this first kiss would be a hot mess. they’re arguing about supplies, or guns, or something entirely inconsequential like bellamy playing truth or dare with the deilnquents (’you could have died eating that mushroom bellamy, this isn’t funny’). clarke initiates it, because we all know that bellamy ‘i’m so smooth that I had a threesome on my first night on earth’ blake is basically a fumbling idiot around her. they’re arguing, and getting way too close to each other, and clarke is doing that thing where she’s jabbing her finger into his chest and bellamy totally isn’t turned on okay. bellamy is smirking at her, watching her rant and rave, and eventually she just throws her hands up in the air and groans in frustration, and then grabs him by that stupid jacket and drags him in for a kiss. it’s rough and hard and a lot of furniture gets broken, although if you’re paying attention you’ll notice that bellamy talks a big game but actually handles clarke like she’s made of glass. those big hands can be surprisingly gentle when they need to be.

time for my first unpopular opinion: if bellamy and clarke had gotten together in season one, their relationship would have flamed out almost immediately. they’re not ready for each other yet. they’re raw and unpredictable and burning way too hot, and they don’t know who they are as individuals, let alone as a couple. a first kiss in season one would have led to two broken hearts and a hell of a lot of regret. as a writer, i kind of love this idea though. a classic example of ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’, where bellarke get together in season one, break up, and then pine for each other over the next few years until they get back together again, older and wiser.

Bellarke S4 kiss

the romance. the sweeping music, the building crescendo, the tragedy. the facade has fallen, they’re both broken and bleeding and on their knees by the end of season 4, and they love each other but it hurts too much even to admit it. to think about it, this fragile thing that they’ve built together against all odds, something so precious that they don’t dare even acknowledge it, in case it gets taken away from them too. they’re in mourning, both of them, and every inhale is ragged like they’re breathing through broken glass.

this is the real doomed lovers shit. its five minutes to praimfaya, the end is here, and it’s the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong damn everything. they’re standing there, holding each other so tight that neither of them can breathe, bellamy’s hand so tight in clarke’s hair that her scalp is stinging, and her face is wet with tears when she looks up at him. bellamy is the one that closes the distance between them, finally.

they’re at the end, and he has nothing left to give her - no hope, no courage, no empty words of reassurance - but himself.

so that’s what he gives. 

this kiss tastes like salt, and ash, and blood. the fires will come, and the world will end, but before it does - they will sear themselves into each other’s bones, a mark that cannot be washed away, names written into each other’s souls in gold ink that cannot fade. this is what they will remember, later, him in the bleak coldness of space and her on the devastated and scorched earth. this is the empty space that echoes, the trembling note that holds, the love that remains.

Bellarke S6/post-season 6 kiss

the real real. the aching vulnerability, the tenderness, the softness. my personal favourite.

season 7 doesn’t exist, okay.

they’ve loved, and lost. and loved, and lost again, over and over. they’ve fought wars, and commanded armies, raised children and discovered new worlds, and somewhere in the middle of it all, almost by accident, they’ve become the people that they were always meant to be. they’ve healed, they’ve learned, they’ve taken all the jagged shattered glass pieces of themselves and put themselves back together with bleeding hands.

there’s time now. time they never thought - never dared to hope - they’d have. time to live. time to build homes, to plant crops, to dance and sing and laugh and cry, to shout both their joy and their grief to the uncaring heavens.

time to savour this thing between them, the sharp sweetness of it, like ripe peaches, the red berries the children gather in spring. they’re older, and far older than they look, but their hands shake like clumsy teenagers when they reach for each other, that first time. there is nothing unexpected about this, the slow and graceful gravity of two twin souls drawing together, but that doesn’t stop their hearts from fluttering in their chests, their breath from stuttering in their lungs. this love is strong and battle-worn, yet they hold it like something fragile, fingers lightly clasped together so as not to crush its feathered wings.

and this is my unpopular opinion two: part of me is glad that bellamy and clarke never got together on the show. don’t get me wrong. of course, i would still trade my pinky toe to see a bellarke kiss for purely scientific reasons. but once we got past season five, and i saw how sweet and complex a bellamy and clarke relationship had the potential to be, i simply didn’t trust JRoth to do it justice anymore. i hate season seven, and i hate the way that the show ended, but i’m happy with bellarke remaining purely in the realm of fanfiction, where i know the writers love it just as much as i do.

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

Chopped: Holiday Trope Exchange 2020 Masterlist!

A huge thanks to every person who signed up for our fic exchange, we got 21 really wonderful fics! We’re sorry it took us so long to get this out to you all! For anyone who isn’t sure what this was all about, this was a double blind gift exchange where each of our twenty-one (21!!!) writers were assigned four tropes from an anonymous recipient, and were tasked with writing a fic that fit our holiday theme, and included all the tropes. The only guidance from their recipient were a couple of brief notes they included during the sign up, and both the writer and recipient were revealed when we shared all the fics! A big thanks to the Tropesters who stepped up to write a second fic when we needed them! These fics, as with all our TROPED fics, were creative and unique, and found ways to utilise tropes that may seem so simple but were transformed in really spectacular ways! Please enjoy these wonderful holiday fics!

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roots in my dreamland (my house of stone, your ivy grows) (Rated M) [Bellarke]

Written by @captaindaddykru for @thelittlefanpire. The four assigned tropes were 1) Doppelgängers, 2) one character is a dancer, 3) first snow, and 4) kissing to keep a cover/a secret.

Summary: Clarke really wants it to work out with Bellamy, but as an A-list Hollywood actress there’s a lot of contractual obligations she can hide behind instead of confronting her own insecurities and past mistakes. Luckily, this Christmas she’s lucked out, and her stand-in Josie is more than willing to (completely selflessly of course) take her place.

Now comes the hard part.

brighter than moonbeams (Rated T) [Memori]

Written by @the-most-beautiful-broom for @thedefinitionofendgame. The four assigned tropes were 1) The characters play a game,2) Secret Santa, 3) Exes to Lovers, and 4) Surprise kiss.

Summary: Murphy and Emori fall in love fast, and then talk themselves out of it. Years later, their paths will cross again, and they realize that their might be parts of their story that are yet to be written.

What a way to start the year (Rated T) [Bellarke]

Written by @bellarkeshoe for @bellamysgriffin. The four assigned tropes were 1) Law enforcement partners, 2) Character gets BADLY injured and they hide it somehow only to reveal later that they are mortally wounded, 3) Characters hugging after they’ve been through hell, and 4) Kissing in the snow.

Summary: It’s New Years Eve, and Bellamy and Clarke got stuck working.

It’s Alright, It’s Okay (Rated M) [Clurphy]

Written by @sailawaymayday for @wwjacksparrowd. The four assigned tropes were 1) Found Family, 2) Groundhog Day/timeloop, 3) Character gets shot/stabbed/BADLY injured and hides the wound somehow, only to accidentally (someone else touches them and their bleeding, they collapse, etc.) reveal later that they are mortally wounded, and 4) Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: Clarke makes it onto the Ring with the rest of Spacekru. What happens when New Years Eve keeps repeating itself? And what does Murphy have to do with it?

Dancing in Graveyards: An Arkadia Anthology (Rated T) [Gen Fic]

Written by @justbecauseyoubelievesomething for @kinetic-elaboration. The four assigned tropes were 1) Small town gothic, 2) Christmas Lights, 3) First snow, and 4) Sneaking someone in/out of your window.

Summary: Three small town gothic stories intertwine as old friends reunite and try to make the best out of their lives. Raven returns home after her foster father’s death and is pulled like a magnet to her enigmatic highschool sweetheart. Jasper seeks solace from a tragedy and desperately attempts to outrun the ghosts of the past. Bellamy battles his inner demons and prays not to tear himself and his loved ones apart in the process. And all of them come to realize that they belong together, even if the place they call home is shadowed by sorrow.

do or die, you’ll never make me (because the world will never take my heart) (Rated T) [Bellarke]

Written by @shen-gong-oops for @probably-voldemort. The four assigned tropes were 1) Fake dating, 2) Amnesia AU, 3) Enemies to Friends to Lovers, and 4) Superhero AU.

Summary: As the youngest member of the Guard and the daughter of the Guard former leader, there are high expectations set for Clarke. The Marketing and PR teams at Ark expecting her to be prim and proper during any conferences, while simultaneously performing their well-rehearsed fight choreography to a T.

But when four unknown supes challenge the juggernaut that is Ark Industries, Clarke wonders if herodom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Merry Christmas, Lovebirds (Rated G) [Murven]

Written by @kinetic-elaboration for @shen-gong-oops. The four assigned tropes were 1) One character cautiously says “i’m going to kiss you now, okay?” or some variation of that, 2) Mutual pining, 3) A misunderstanding, and 4) Tattoos.

Summary: There’s never snow for Christmas on the beach, Murphy is a culinary genius, Raven has a boyfriend, and other presumed facts, too obvious to mention.

Once Upon Our Story (Rated G) [Bellarke]

Written by @andthelightbulbclicks for @bellamythology. The four assigned tropes were 1) break-up/make-up, 2) Did they or didn’t they, 3) Extremely biased flashbacks of the same event, and 4) Bookstore or library AU.

Summary: Bellamy returns with as much fanfare as one can imagine when driving a school bus decorated as Santa Claus through town, leaving Clarke shocked and all of their friends confused given he hasn’t been home in months.

(Or: Six months ago, Bellamy left Arkadia.

Six months ago, Clarke didn’t.

Six months ago, their friends knew the relationship ended, even came up with their own versions of what really happened. But the question that they all want to know for certain– is why?)

Dream A Little Dream of Me (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @queenemori for @vmreed. The four assigned tropes were 1) One character has a child, 2) Protectiveness, 3) Only one bed, and 4) Soulmates.

Summary: It was just Murphy’s luck that right as he was starting to enjoy Earth, he had to leave. But he’d rather that than succumb to a fiery death wave. He and the other residents of the Ring remembered Clarke every year during their New Year’s Eve celebration. But even when they weren’t celebrating Clarke, Murphy couldn’t seem to get her off his mind. He wished his brain would stop playing tricks on him by making him think she was alive. Clarke was dead. Wasn’t she?

i don’t wanna burn out, so wont you please set me on fire again? (Rated M) [Murven]

Written by @kuklash for @sparklyfairymira. The four assigned tropes were 1) Protectiveness, 2) Exes and Lovers, 3) Small Town AU, and 4) Characters fall on each other and have a moment.

Summary: The wind nipped at Murphy’s nose as he stood in the doorway of the gas station on the edge of town. Work was slow, as it always was after sundown, especially in the mid-December cold, but someone had to make sure the good townsfolk of Arkadia could get their milk and gas after the small general store closed. All 800 of them. He watched the cars drive by throughout the day, recognizing each and everyone of them. Bellamy’s beat up truck he worked all highschool to afford, Clarke’s clean new sedan, even that jerk Finn’s loud ass motorcycle. He watched them all pass one by one, his old classmates returning home after another semester of college at the University of Polis. The only sign that time was passing at all.

The phone inside rang, breaking him out of his melancholy, at least for now.

“Great,” he thought, sarcastically. “A phone call 10 minutes before we close.”

He walked back inside and put on the most cheerful customer service voice he could muster.

“Dropship Gas, this is Murphy. How can I he-”

A familiar female voice cut him off, leaving him cold.

“Murphy? Thank god!”

It was his ex.

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you (Rated M) [Bellarke]

Written by @sparklyfairymira for @captaindaddykru. The four assigned tropes were 1) Celebrity AU, 2) Meet Ugly, 3) Characters must share something, and 4) Characters aren’t together but are mistaken to be.

Summary: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin are household names thanks to their music. They belong to the same label so they often work together on duets—even though they can’t stand one another. Their first meeting is disastrous and six years later they still can’t get along.

toward brighter days (Rated T) [Sea Mechanic]

Written by @reggieshamster for @/ashplana. The four assigned tropes were 1) Apocalyptic Log, 2) bed sharing, 3) road trip au, and 4) mythical creatures.

Summary: Dear Harper,

I am ridiculously out of it this morning. Last night, when we reached the campsite, Luna suggested we give Echo her own bedroll, since she gave hers up the night before.

Which meant Luna was sleeping with me.

Beside me.

Excerpts from Raven’s journal as she travels to Polis for the Winter Solstice Festival

three words, two hearts, one maybe (Rated G) [Bellarke]

Written by @bellamysgriffin for @bellarkeshoe. The four assigned tropes were 1) Youtuber AU, 2) best friend’s sibling, 3) frikdreina, and 4) miscommunication.

Summary: After an accident blinds Clarke, Octavia’s been encouraging her best friend to keep up with her artwork. In order to inspire her, she recruits the help of her older brother, Bellamy, who’s recently launched a new exhibition at his museum, to feature her work. Bellamy likes Clarke’s work, and he’s more than happy to help. But when she doesn’t show on the big day, he takes matters into his own hands. With an old video camera, he records people’s reactions to Clarke’s artwork so that she’ll know just how talented she is. But when he sends it to his sister, he doesn’t expect her to upload it to YouTube. And he definitely doesn’t expect to go viral.

Something Beautiful, Simple, and Bright (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @wwjacksparrowd for @queenemori. The four assigned tropes were 1) Friends with Benefits AU, 2) Prank war, 3) characters are not together but are mistaken for a couple, and 4) Based on a Song.

Summary: Six months after Wonkru and Eligius manage to establish peace and divide Eden between themselves (with a little slice shaved off for Spacekru, of course), Clarke has a mission: plan a New Year’s Eve party for fifteen hundred people within three weeks.

Murphy’s mission? Stop her from burning out in the process. Oh, and if he could just get Monty to quit it with the freaking noisemakers, that would be great, too.

(…Okay, yeah, he’d also like to date Clarke for real instead of just sleeping with her. But that’s a pipe dream, right?)

put your faith in the devil and the deep blue sea (Rated M) [Clurphy]

Written by @probably-voldemort for @kuklash. The four assigned tropes were 1) Time Loop AU, 2) Characters fall on top of one another and have a “moment”, 3) Enemies to Lovers, and 4) Superhero AU.

Summary: Twenty years ago, when the clocks changed from 11:59pm on December 31st, 1999, to 12:00am on January 1st, 2000, the world ended, exactly as the doomsdayers had predicted. Now, there are only a few livable months left on Earth, and the privileged are evacuating for a life in space, abandoning the planet.

But not everyone has given up.

Clarke was only three when the world ended, and she’s spent most of her life in her mother’s lab. Now, as the last space ships are preparing to leave, her mother’s machine is finally ready, and Clarke and her mother are heading back in time to try to stop the apocalypse from happening in the first place.

An attack on the lab leads to Clarke heading back to 1995 on her own, and the past isn’t quite how Clarke’s vague memories from the beginning of her life paint it. Clarke soon discovers that not only did the machine do more than just send her back in time, but she wasn’t, in fact, sent back alone.

Will she be able to stop the apocalypse before the clock strikes midnight? Or are some parts of history unchangeable?

All I Want For Christmas (Rated T) [Memori]

Written by @thedefinitionofendgame for @the-most-beautiful-broom. The four assigned tropes were 1) Fake dating, 2) Joke kiss turned real kiss, 3) One character is sleeping and the other character is watching them totally in love, and 4) Blanket fort.

Summary: Tired of being single, Murphy decides to take matters into his own hands and get himself a girlfriend before the annual Christmas Day dinner with his friends. Having had bad luck in the past with girls - all twenty four of them - Murphy is determined to make the twenty-fifth, the “Christmas Day” number, his forever.

Of course, this is easier said than done. When his fellow coworker, Emori, seems to be having similar problems and suggests them being each other’s “fake dates” to their Christmas parties in December, Murphy jumps at the chance. Fake dating is better than being totally alone, right? It appears that way, at least until Murphy starts to catch feelings; the ones that make you question everything you think you know. As their “fake feelings” start to become more real, Murphy realizes that Emori’s the one he wants for Christmas. But she’s got walls up and even though his heart doesn’t stand a chance, Murphy’s determined to break them down and show her what falling in love really means, maybe with the help of a little December magic thrown in.

As long as we’re together, no I can’t get much higher (Rated T) [Murven]

Written by @dylanobrienisbatman for @andthelightbulbclicks. The four assigned tropes were 1) Zookeeper AU, 2) Treasure Hunt, 3) secret places, and 4) Secret Santa.

Summary: Murphy has only known Raven for a little while, but the longer he spends getting to know her, the more he realises that there’s no hope of him not falling in love with her.

So when he gets her for Secret Santa, he makes it his mission to nail it.

before i knew you (Rated G) [Clexa]

Written by @dylanobrienisbatman for @sailawaymayday. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Pen Pals, (2) 3+1, 4+1, 5+1, etc., (3) surprise kiss, and (4) character meets another characters ex.

Summary: What do you do when your penpal, the person you know the best in the world, who you love, turns out to be the rather rude (if also rather pretty) sales girl from downstairs? Lexa is about to find out. or - 3 times lexa and clarke meet without knowing they’ve been penpals since childhood, and the 1 time Lexa figures it out.

when life gives you shit, you make kool-aid (Rated M) [Becho]

Written by @reggieshamster for @dylanobrienisbatman. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Bodyguard AU, (2) Bed Sharing, (3) Kissing to Keep Cover/a Secret, and (4) a Character gets shot/stabbed/badly injured and they collapse, being caught by their loved one.

Summary: Bellamy used to have it all, and then one screw-up cost him his career and his fancy life. Now, working as a bodyguard for alcoholic businessmen and their families, he gets a call from his sister for a job… escorting a hitwoman to testify against a man convicted of crimes against humanity. What could possibly go wrong?

and left the secret at the grave (Rated T) [Clurphy]

Written by @probably-voldemort for @justbecauseyoubelievesomething. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Murder Mystery, (2) Partners in Crime, (3) Exes to Lovers, and (4) Snowed In.

Summary: At 8:57 on the morning of December 23rd, eight year old Jordan Green discovered the body of Skybox Inn owner Vera Kane on the floor of the lobby. His screams woke up the other guests of the inn, as well as the live-in butler.

The discovery of the body was followed shortly by two more discoveries. The first was that the storm the night before had knocked out the phones and the internet, and the second was that the inn was completely snowed in with no hopes of escape anytime soon.

Thirteen people trapped in an inn.

Uncountable secrets.

One murderer.

One question.

Who killed Vera Kane?

what a tangled string of Christmas lights we weave (Rated T) [Linctavia]

Written by @thelittlefanpire for @reggieshamster. The four assigned tropes were: (1) Royalty AU, (2) Cyrano AU, (3) Characters fall and end up landing on top of each other and have a “moment”, and (4) Hair brushing and/or braiding.

Summary: When the royal family loses their beloved Prince Wells, the future king of Arkadia, all eyes are on them. The Queen remains as stoic as ever, the Spare grapples with his new responsibilities, the Princess drowns in her grief, and the King is threatening to abolish the monarchy forever.

At Christmastime, as tensions in the palace rise with the vicious tabloids outside, the royal family makes an escape to a castle in the mountains, hoping to find solace and reconcile with their loss.

Princess Octavia will try to mend her broken heart back together as she becomes entranced with the letters sent back and forth between herself and another. But when it’s revealed who the true penman is, will she rise above her sorrow or sink further into it?

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Take a read! Leave a kudos/comment! Our Tropesters worked so hard on creating some unique, festive fun fics from all the amazing tropes that were sent in. Thanks again!

[eyessharpweaponshot]

fic writer asks

tagged by the forever wonderful @burninghoneyatdusk, @pawprinterfanfic and @sparklyfairymira - thank you guys, I enjoyed doing it!

Name(s)?

eyessharpweaponshot (Tumblr and AO3) eyessharp100 (twitter)

Fandom(s)?

just the 100. I have dabbled in The Blacklist (keenler for life) but nothing heavy. 

Where you post?

AO3

Most popular one-shot (by kudos)?

You Should Still Take Me Home

bellarke | modern au | friends with benefits/exes

Clarke and Bellamy fall into the "friends with benefits" dynamic in college, but when Clarke starts falling for Bellamy and stops their arrangement, it makes their interactions at a New Year’s Eve party a little painful - especially when Bellamy shows up with another girl.

This fic was part of the @bellarkejanuaryjoy series and I never expected it to reach this much popularity. it’s full of delicious angst (big surprise there) with a happy ending.

Most popular multi-chapter (by kudos)?

Lose You Too

bellarke | modern au | partners to lovers

Clarke and Bellamy, FBI agents - both too emotional to be level-headed in the dangerous situations they face together. Slow burn, mutual pining, angst, sex and these two idiots caring about one another. All the greatest hits.

This was my first ever published fic and again, did not expect it to take off like it did. I still have people reading it for the first time and screaming in the comment section about it.

Favourite story you’ve written so far?

Devil Side

bellarke | post apocalyptic au | strangers to lovers

Bellamy and Clarke face the end of the world but with their fears just at the other side of the door, they need to close their eyes and trust one another to make it out - together.

I literally can’t even explain why I love this so much. Post-apocalyptic au’s are my absolute favourite and I love how two people are forced together in a dystopian circumstance and the love grows out of fear/care for the other person. Bellamy falls over himself trying to protect Clarke and that is just something in a fic that GETS ME. This fic has an element of everything - co-parenting, angst, smut, found family, loss. I wish I could write it again, lol.

Fic you were nervous to post?

I Found Peace in Your Violence

bellarke | modern au | strangers to lovers

Clarke Griffin has it all. She’s popular, an artistic prodigy and has a wealthy family to boot. So when her perfect world comes crashing down around her, it’s time to sink or swim.

She tests positive for the Homicidal Tendency Syndrome gene, also known as the kill gene. Clarke is plucked from her comfortable life and placed into a school with people just like her - carriers, delinquents.

When she meets Bellamy Blake there, he looks like everything they say HTS carriers are. A monster, a criminal. Yet, he’s the one who protects her.

Clarke thinks existing in this school is the hardest thing they’ll have to do, but as the outside world falls into chaos, she soon learns that things can always get worse. At Mount Weather training camp, they’re made perform certain tasks that make them question who they are - make them wonder if they really are as evil as the world accuses them of being.

At least she has Bellamy. Clarke isn’t sure how they are supposed to be these violent monsters when they can do something so human, like fall in love with one another.

I am going to be screamed at for this because it’s quickly becoming my most popular fic, but I HATED it for so long. My fandom friends who had to endure me complaining about it will tell you, before I posted it, I actually considered scrapping the entire thing. If you’ve ever written a fic where it made you ask yourself if you can write at all, you’ll know what I mean! yet somehow, it won Best Alternate Universe Fic (WIP) in the @bellarkeficawards. the world works in mysterious ways.

How do you choose your titles?

mostly song lyrics. I listen to a lot of music and it usually strikes inspiration for a particular scene. even if it’s just one line in that song, it could inspire an entire fic.

Do you outline?

sometimes. if it’s a WIP or a difficult fic, I will. for nothing else only to help me keep track of a timeline or not to forget certain aspects. I tend to work better ironing out ideas with Ciara. She’s my favourite soundboard, lol.

Complete works?

16 on AO3, all bellarke.

In-progress works?

Two on AO3, bellarke again.

I Found Peace in Your Violence - I work on this whenever I get time. there isn’t many chapters left.

I Am Lost This Time - I will finish this eventually but I started it when I still had hope for canon.

Coming soon/not yet started?

I have a post apocalyptic au in the works that will be posted one day. I've also signed up for @bellarkebigbang again next year so I’m excited to start that. Then there’s about 15 drafts in my documents that maybe I'll finish one day.

Prompts?

not right now. I hit a milestone following on Tumblr a while ago (thank you all so much) and I was gonna write some epic fic requests from my best friends in the fandom but I literally can never find time to sit down lately so I’m thinking they may not be written (I am the worst ever.)

Tagging: @icantloseyou-too @kombellarke @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @marauders-groupie and whoever else would like to do it. apologies if you’ve already completed it!

[travllingbunny]

The 100 7x11 Etherea

This is the episode we’ve been waiting for this whole season - and while I don’t think it’s the best episode of the season, it is certainly the most exciting one. It would be that just the fact that Bellamy is finally back on screen (and not just for a couple of minutes, but for an entire episode fully focused on him), and it was great to see him and have an episode fully devoted to him, and remember once again what an amazing actor Bob is and the presence and intensity he brings to the show. But it also turned out to be the first episode of season 7 that is a genuine game changer and that shocked the viewers with a twist that wasn’t entirely predictable. 

Even though the fandom had been speculating on the so-called brainwashed Bellamy or “void Bellamy” or generally Bellamy that is for some reason the (temporary) enemy of Clarke, Octavia and the rest of the protagonists, and hoping for that storyline, with a Mockingjay-like possibilities for romantic angst between him and Clarke (especially after a photo of Bellamy in the white robe leaked early in the year, months before the season even started to air), the way it happened seems to have upset many of the fans )to quote a podcaster, “I was hoping for a brainwashed Bellamy, but not like this”). Probably because the show has Bellamy retain agency in his transformation and that it is indoctrination into a cult be more like real life and partially rooted in Bellamy’s own emotional issues, beliefs and needs, rather than taking the easier route of having him be Sci-Fi brainwashed, Winter Soldier style.

That said, I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about this episode and how good I think it is. The first half of the episode, Bellamy was very much himself, and it was focused on survival and trying to get off the planet,  and the dynamic between him and Conductor Doucette - throughout the episode - seems to play into the familiar trope of two enemies, or people of opposing views, who have to spend time together, gets to argue, survive together, and eventually bond as fellow humans. This story would not be particularly interesting - not only have we seen it many times, but it feels redundant for Bellamy, who has learned to see the POV of his enemies, bond with them and see the common humanity in them, many seasons ago. It also would not have been interesting if Bellamy managed to change Doucette’s beliefs - which the audience already thinks are rubbish - as this wouldn’t tell us anything new about Bellamy and would only give development to Doucette. 

But instead, what was really happening throughout this episode, under the guise of bonding with the enemy, was Bellamy’s spiritual journey - aka his indoctrination into Cadogan’s cult. The crucial part of it happens not just to his exhaustion and desperation in tough circumstances, or his companion offering him faith as a solution, but through something Bellamy actually sees in the cave, and his own visions a little later.  This is where the episode becomes a lot more interesting - and also a lot more frustrating.  I don’t think I’ll be sure how I feel about this until I see the rest of the season, and learn how some things from this episode are explained or followed up on. In particular, the explanation (or lack of it?) for Bellamy’s visions in this episode will pretty much determine what course the show is taking in its final season and what it is trying to be.

Whatever the explanation, the end result - which we see after Bellamy returns to Bardo - is disturbing and painful to watch. It is something we have never seen before - Bellamy himself trying to enforce a total abnegation of everything Bellamy Blake is. Which includes willingly repressing his feelings for his loved ones to the point of betraying them (and results in the most painful Bellarke reunion ever, and one of the most painful reunions of the Blake siblings). I don’t know if I’m fully buying such a huge transformation - which is one of my problems with the episode. But this is certainly quality angst, and means that the season has become much more exciting to watch.

Is it weird that such a big twist happens in episode 11, out of 16 episodes, after 10 episodes that have been mostly setup for the big plot? Yes, just like it is weird that Bellamy has been MIA before this. BTS reasons obviously affected this season a lot - if it hadn’t been for them, I think we’d have a similar storyline, but this would have happened much earlier in the season. Are 5 episodes enough to resolve this in a satisfactory way? Well, it’s certainly enough to resolve it - this is a show that has characters go from hate to love over the course of 5 episodes, has characters hook up/fall for each other after knowing each other for 2-3 episodes, the show that showed Hope’s entire 10-year relationship with her father figure in a 7 minute scene, and the show that just had this massive character transformation happen over one episode. Will it feel satisfactory and convincing - it could, if it’s well-written and if the show doesn’t waste too much time on the Sanctum plot and fully focuses on its two main characters now that one of them is finally back.

Starting from the beginning - this time, its Bob saying “Previously on”, in line with this season having different cast members saying those opening words in different episodes (Eliza in 7x01, Marie in 7x02, Luisa in 7x03, there was no previously on in 7x04, Marie in 7x05, Lindsey in 7x06, Richard in 7x07, no previously on in 7x08, Eliza in 7x09 and 7x10 - it’s a bit surprising that Eliza said it in episode 9 even though she wasn’t in it at all, but otherwise those fit characters that were strongly featured in the episode in question).

We also get yet another version of the opening titles - which start and finish with a shot of the Anomaly. Earth again makes a cameo near the end, just as it did in 7x10, though it’s in the shadow now so can’t be seen as clearly. 

While 90% of the episode takes place on Etherea, it opens and ends on Bardo. The opening scene is the only one not featuring Bellamy - apart from a replayed memory. We learn that the MCap machine was damaged by Echo, and is only now operational again. Finally, a good explanation why the Disciples did not put Echo, Diyoza or Octavia - again - in MCap after they agreed to cooperate. Levitt is using it on one of the Disciples who were in the Stone Room during the explosion. I guess he was still recovering a week after, and now they are presumably trying to help him, since - as the other Conductor tells Levitt - he is suffering from PTSD. Hey, isn’t that the first time anyone has mentioned that word on the show? At least the Disciples have kept the knowledge about mental health issues, even if their ways of dealing with it are questionable at best. We learn that no one is being punished, not even for killing Anders, as the other conductor says. (Not even? Does she think that’s worse than attempted genocide? Hope didn’t even back down from it as Echo eventually did, and the two Disciples Anders called witnessed it. The Conductor may think that the consequence is more important than intent... But even so, she clearly thinks Anders’ life was more important than those of two other Disciples, who were murdered by Echo as a part of her torturing Levitt. I guess that “For all mankind” thing doesn’t mean you consider all of the people, or even all of the Disciples, equal...)

Levitt finds out what 99% of the audience was sure of anyway and goes “He’s alive!” Surprise, surprise. But Levitt, shouldn’t you say “They are alive?”? Knowing Levitt’s attachment to Octavia, he is talking about Bellamy, not about one of his colleagues, Conductor Doucette, who was also presumed dead. (Doucette, not Douchette - even though the latter would make for a good joke.)

Let’s think about why this scene exists (apart from being used as a sneak peek). Obviously it was full of exposition, but why was it important for Levitt to find out that Bellamy is alive at the same time as we learn about it? We could have just seen Bellamy falling through the Bridge to the planet of Etherea. I suppose the purpose is dual: 1) to learn that the Disciples indeed did not know Bellamy was alive and on Etherea, 2) to learn that Cadogan knew Bellamy was alive an on Etherea, at least a few hours to a day before his return, which may be important for the events of this episode.

One of the questions the fandom has been debating is, did Anders intentionally send Bellamy to Etherea to be indoctrinated? Since 7x05, I have believed that Bellamy was on Etherea, and my initial reading of the scene was that Anders made the decision to send him there - and that this was why Doucette started to beg him: “Please, sir, no”, as he wasn’t happy to be stranded there. Then I started second-guessing it, because it became increasingly obvious that Anders was dumb as a brick and unable to come up with any smart plans how to brainwash people (as we saw with HEDO - he just threatened them into compliance instead of trying to really change their minds). Now I think that sending people to Etherea may be a standard practice that Disciples do on very special occasions when they want to send someone on a spiritual journey/pilgrimage/true brainwashing that they can’t come back until they make a ‘leap of faith” (just like they use Skyring as a standard prison). Maybe this is not even something that most Disciples know, but info only reserved for Level 12s or even Level 13s. But the grenade attack was real and made Anders believe Bellamy was dead and the plan was off - as there is no reason to believe that anything before Bellamy’s last day in the cave was manipulated from Bardo.

However, that last day - with Bellamy’s visions - could have been, and it happened around the same time Cadogan would have found out from Levitt that Bellamy was alive and on Etherea. There seems to be no time differential (or too small a differential to matter) between Etherea and Bardo - just like there seems to be none between Earth and Sanctum, since Bellamy and Doucette retained their memories going from Bardo to Etherea and back, both times without a protective helmet.

Etherea, the planet

The promo for this episode made the planet look much worse and less survivable than it really seems to be. Apart from the grey filter* that the show is using to make it look worse and kind of drab and gloomy, it seems to be a perfectly nice planet, with vegetation and an OK climate - as long as you are not trying to get off the planet through the Anomaly and climbing the extremely high mountain to reach the Anomaly Stone. It’s funny that, aside from Nakara, every other planet connected by the Anomaly has better living conditions than Bardo. The Disciples obviously use Bardo just because of the facilities they’ve found there. But Skyring is a really lovely planet - its only problem is the time differential from the other habitable planets, but that would not be a problem if a big group of people just decided to live there and start a community. Sanctum is lovely, too - well, except for red sun toxin and killer insects and meat-eating trees. (Why have the Disciples mostly ignored it? Is it because of those things, or maybe they didn’t want to mix with the Primes and other Sanctumites? Or they just didn’t see a use for it?) And Etherea is another problem where people could decide to live, if they gave up going to other planets.

*The show uses different filters to make the woods around Vancouver look like different planets:  

Sanctum - bright colors, lots of red during day, purple at night 

Skyring - blue filter (nice planet) 

Nakara - blue filter (frozen planet) 

Etherea - grey filter 

Earth - normal, except in S5 everywhere outside Eden - greyish yellow filter for a desolated post-Praimfaya Earth

But of course, Bellamy is definitely not interested in staying there and only wants to find a way off this planet, and Doucette, unlike Orlando, is neither serving a sentence he wants to see to the end nor is expecting the Disciples to send a team to retrieve him. This is another one of the “just two three four people on the planet” episodes, but this stay is just a few months rather than years, and spent in much harsher and most exhausting conditions during most of that time - because Bellamy never stops trying to get off the planet. There are parallels and strong contrasts to every one of those other situations:

Eden -  The first few months of Clarke’s experience surviving on the desolated Earth parallel Bellamy’s months on the mountain - surviving in tough conditions (extreme heat in Clarke’s case vs extreme cold in Bellamy’s), physically and mentally exhausted to the point of breaking. There are even visually parallel shots of both of them walking with a stick or eating bugs. But the big differences are: after trying and failing to get in the bunker and after the Temple collapsed, Clarke had no way of getting off the planet or out of her current situation and reuniting with any of her loved ones. She could only survive and wait. She was all alone and only talking to Bellamy, who wasn’t there, to keep herself sane. Bellamy, OTOH, was actively trying to get off the planet and reach his loved ones all that time, and he had a companion - another adult with strong beliefs, who he talked to and who did his best to indoctrinate him. After those first few months, Clarke found Eden and met Madi, and the rest of her (mostly off-screen) life on Earth during the next 6 years was much more similar to Octavia’s life with Diyoza and Hope on Skyring. 

The Garden - Unlike Bellamy, Octavia lived in a beautiful place and with someone who was already her friend and a child she came to look after, finding family she loved (rather than faith and abstract “love for all mankind”). Like Bellamy, Octavia kept trying to get off the planet and reach her sibling and her friends, which was equally difficult for a different reason, as the Anomaly entrance was deep under water (unlike Bellamy, she wouldn’t have actually able to leave the planet as she didn’t have a Conductor or codes for the Stone - but she didn’t know she needed them) - for 6 years, before she eventually gave up and settled for her peaceful life for the next 4 years and sending Bellamy a letter.

Hesperides - Like Bellamy, Echo, Gabriel and Hope wanted to get off the planet and reach their friends/family, but unlike Bellamy, they couldn’t get the codes and had to wait for 5 years, and, unlike him, they lived in lovely place. Like Bellamy, they had a devout Disciple as a companion,  but there were three of them, which made it more difficult for him to indoctrinate them, no matter how much he wanted to make them Disciples, and they were the ones trying to manipulate him. They developed a friendship with him, as Bellamy did with Doucette, but while Bellamy saved Doucette when he didn’t have to anymore, Echo betrayed him and left him as expendable, and the other two eventually went along with it.

But Etherea is not just another planet for the Disciples - it is notable for what can be found in a cave on the way to the top of the mountain, which Cadogan apparently looked for and found, as a part of his pilgrimage - his own “40 days in a desert” - because, of course, he sees himself as a messiah (and, as we saw in 7x09, this is an important thing in the Bardo religion and something children are taught about in school). 

Bellamy immediately learns all about Cadogan’s teachings - everything the rest of the characters took several episodes to learn about - by reading his book (”pocket propaganda from another false god”) and immediately pokes holes in it. He makes all the good points and lists most of the reasons why the Disciple faith makes no sense, including the fact that it makes no sense to be fighting for peace and end of violence by waging another war. Everything he says in the first half of the episode are things I would completely agree with. Which makes it all the more frustrating when he starts ignoring his own reasonable arguments by the end of this episode. One might say that the Disciple propaganda attacks both his heart - using his desire to find peace, an end to all the struggle and pain, and eventually, his love and memory of his mother, to ignore what his head is telling him - but they also eventually attack his head, by presenting what seems like actual physical evidence, and the end result is to ignore not just the rational objections he had, but also try to suppress his love for the most important individual people in his life.

He lists the people he loves - “Octavia, Echo, Clarke” - which is the first time Bellamy himself has used the word love for the latter two (and in fact, for anyone other than Octavia). BTW, notice that no one in the show has ever used the word “girlfriend/boyfriend” except Diyoza (when this was what she assumed Clarke was to Bellamy)? Maybe these words have fallen out of use in the post-apocalypse societies. The main characters usually talk about their “friends” or “family” (the latter not always being biological). Doucette later talks of "your family, your friends” and “your obsession with your sister and your friends” - where Echo and Clarke are both lumped into this category. Echo is not singled out as “your girlfriend” or in any other way.

Here’s the thing about Bellamy’s and Doucette’s dynamic: if this story wasn’t really about indoctrinating Bellamy, there really wouldn’t be anything there we didn’t know about Bellamy before. Of course he wouldn’t kill this random Disciple guy if he didn’t have to - and, in spite of what he tells Doucette at the start, it’s not just because he needed him to survive. Bellamy learning to see the humanity of his enemies and working with them and bonding with them is something we have seen many times: at first with Clarke, then with Lincoln, Indra, the Grounders, Kane, Echo. All the way back in season 2, he valued human lives, even from the enemy side: he opposed Murphy’s idea of killing the captive Grounder thief (while Finn summarily killed him), he angrily said he’d kill everyone in Mount Weather but then tried his best for that not to happen, after seeing the children there; even during his Pike-supporting days, he tried to persuade Pike and the others to spare the wounded Grounder warriors, in season 4 he talked Riley down from trying to assassinate Roan, and in season 5, he refused to kill the cryo frozen Eligius prisoners, and later convinced Madi to spare the Eligius convicts who were their PoW. And while Bellamy has been motivated, most of all, by personal love (particularly for his sister and Clarke), we’ve seen him save many people, including strangers or near strangers. That speech Doucette gave him about “loving all mankind” is something season 1 Bellamy needed to hear, the one who was focused just on Octavia and then just on her and the Delinquents, but Bellamy has had a massive character development since. Bellamy knows more about loving all mankind than Doucette or any of the Disciples do. Doucette says he “loves all mankind” including a total stranger - well, dude, didn’t you try to kill Bellamy at first? And the rest of what we’ve seen from Disciples is much worse. They talked the talk, but don’t walk the walk, unless they think kidnapping and torturing people and trying to break their spirit is “love”, And Anders definitely showed that he did not “love all the mankind” when he ordered a hit on Hope, or when he gave that speech in 7x10 about what disgusting “wild beats” all these non-Disciples were.

But unlike Anders, Doucette can talk in a convincing way and make decent arguments in favor of his faith to non-believers, rather than just preaching to the converted - or at least, he can appear to give decent arguments. He’s taking a page from The 100 fandom with the argument that Bellamy is so selfish and egotistical for... loving his sister and his friends and constantly fighting and sacrificing himself for them. (The 100 fandom loves making that same argument about Clarke.) Quite a skill, to make such BS argument sound convincing. He basically gives Bellamy a version of the “Love is weakness” advice - in this case, that “love is selfish” and leads to destruction and pain. And when Bellamy asks the rhetorical question, if that means that you shouldn’t love anyone -  Doucette turns it around and talks of love for all mankind. But that “love” he speaks of is abstract and fake - it is impossible to love everyone. You cannot love total strangers, or people you simply don’t like - certainly not the same as you love your lover or friend or family member. You can, however, be compassionate, and value human lives,.Which is, in fact, something the Disciples don’t do, as we’ve seen on Bardo (but Bellamy has not seen it yet) - they just value lives as more soldiers for the cause. Their “humanity” is abstract - they are ready to sacrifice individuals for it (everyone except the Shepherd). Bellamy, on the other hand, has always been about valuing individual lives and saving them - be it Mel on season 2, or the slaves in season  - and he managed to do it while also loving his sister and his friends. The Disciples and Doucette’s arguments present a false dichotomy. But, unfortunately, Bellamy still has deep guilt and self-loathing that he never fully resolved (even in season 6, he still talked about his many sins in 6x04), and he’s tired by always having to fight another war for survival, just to followed by another. (Which is similar to Clarke’s misgivings in 7x03: “I’m afraid that fighting is not what we do, it’s what we are” and Raven’s and Clarke’s conversation about guilt over having killed so many people.) The only time he didn’t have to always worry and/or fight were the years on the Ring, but he was still grieving Clarke and missing Octavia and motivated by going back down to reunite with her  He knows what he’s capable of doing out of love - and he also has unresolved issues with the women he loves. In season 4, he lamented how pathetic he was coming back to his sister when she kept treating him badly, and in the 7x07 Ring flashback, he thought his love for his sister was his “weakness”. He’s certainly been hurt by her, finally rejected her and then later got to reunite with her, get an apology and forgive and make up with her. He and Clarke have also certainly hurt each other and forgiven each other, and that relationship is still unresolved. Bellamy himself admitted to Jo!Clarke in 6x09 that he was exhausted by their ups and downs and lack of resolution. And Echo... well, he should know exactly where he stands with her, but he didn’t seem happy about their relationship and seemed to want her to be Clarke someone else.

I can see why Bellamy started to envy Doucette his emotional calm that his faith and worldview seemed to bring him.

We got another Pike mention in this ep (and again, it was a reference to his positive role - as a teacher of Earth skills). The last time Bellamy made it was in 6x07 when he found out Clarke was alive. Pike was also a father figure to Bellamy - just like Kane, and now Cadogan. Bellamy has been called both a King and a Knight. Some of his biggest mistakes were when he chose to trust in a leader/father figure (the last time, it was Pike - who was, however, very different from Cadogan and his views on the opposite side the spectrum from Bill’s), and ALIE!Raven thought that one of the ways she could try to taunt him and erode his confidence was to call him a follower rather than a leader. Only she tried to convince him that he was in subjugated position to Clarke - which IMO was never true. They have always had an equal relationship (except when external circumstances made it otherwise - see, Kane and the adults taking the power away from Bellamy, while Clarke was able to take it back from Abby mostly because she was backed up by the Grounder Commander), and Clarke was the one who always tried to boost Bellamy’s confidence in his abilities as a leader. He was definitely a leader of his people in season 5 and season 6, and he works best as co-leader with Clarke (and vice versa). But even when Bellamy supported Clarke, he was questioning his decisions, even though he was rarely able to change Pike’s mind - he wasn’t blindly obeying and accepting everything, as he would have to with the Disciples.

Another factor in Bellamy’s transformation is of course the fact that he spent months in the cave - to the point of physical and mental exhaustion. Every time he and Doucette would climb the mountain, the peak where the Stone was would turn out to be even higher. Bellamy himself used two of the Greek myths to describe the task - Sisyphus and Icarus. A pointless task that results in having to do everything all over again (just like what he said about having to always fight another war), and a dangerous task likely to destroy you.

Bellamy was still insisting on reason over faith - “I believe in what I can prove” - but then he got to see the beings of light, as “proof”..

And here we come to the more interesting part of this ep and something that the show may or may not explain. I’m pretty skeptical about Cadogan’s views of what these beings are. How do we know that they have really “transcended” and become eternal or whatever, living on some kind of higher plane? No one has communicated with them, or have they? They are aliens, from our POV. Maybe that’s their natural state?  Maybe they’re dead and this is just what remains of them? Maybe they died in a similar catastrophe as the Bardoans but one that was more about fire than ice, as Selina hypothesized in her review)? Maybe they are in agony?  Sure, they look beautiful to human eyes, and fit the human culture’s idea of what spirituality and transcendence is like - but you can’t know that for sure. The frozen crystal giants on Bardo also look beautiful, after all, and that entire species died horribly

And then the second “otherworldly” thing happens after Bellamy finally agreed to prey - and he has a vision, involving Cadogan as his spiritual guide, leading him from a place full of weapons - swords and guns - to the place where he sees his dead mother, Aurora. It’s a beautiful and emotional scene, and I can’t imagine all the things Bellamy is feeling as she touches his face - including, probably, more unresolved guilt - over getting his mother executed (because he loved his sister and tried to make her happy). Aurora tells him Go to the light, Bellamy” and he looks at the figures of light -  but we don’t learn what, if anything, he saw there .

I hope we learn that Bellamy saw something important - maybe something connected to the Judgment Day Becca talked about - that would explain the extent of his conversion, although it seems that it is mostly supposed to be a consequence of the fact that the storm stopped at the moment when he chose to prey. 

The final step in his ‘spiritual journey’ is after that, when he barely managed to reach the top. After repeating the mantra “I am not afraid” (something else from the Blakes’ childhood - the same line Octavia was repeating on Bardo to resist the Conductors), he admits to himself “I am afraid”. In retrospect, a sign that he was broken, and started feeling that his past and his family were not enough to give him strength and faith. The jump from the top was described as a “leap of faith” by Doucette - which is kind of ridiculous, since it had nothing to do with faith, just with the fact that Cadogan was there and knew how the Anomaly worked, and the fact he was able to climb the mountain and leave is proof that the Anomaly worked properly. 

(I wonder why the heck the Anomaly works so differently on different planets - in some cases you can enter the Anomaly right next to the Stone when you’re leaving the planet, and in others, you have to go back to the original entrance that’s somewhere else.)

Now, the visions may be explained in several different ways:

hallucinations - earlier, Bellamy found a family photo and recognized Cadogan, and he would know how Conductors and high ranking Disciples dress, he’s seen the white robe on Anders and Doucette

everything in the cave is real, and Cadogan has some sort of a telepathic connection to the cave (the true believer’s interpretation)

the brain implant/hive mind theory (by Selina again - I don’t believe in this one as there has been no evidence of it so far)

projections/hologram - see Jean’s theory that Cadogan used the hologram technology to project images of himself and Aurora (whose image is familiar to the Disciples from Octavia’s memories)

a combination of some of the above - the beings of light may be real, and Cadogan may have stumbled onto something but has again misinterpreted what it was all about; Bellamy’s vision of Cadogan was a hallucination or projection, but he also did see something real when his mother (again, possible hallucination or unexplained spiritual phenomenon) told him to look into the light.

It’s possible that the show will never fully explain what really happened here, just as Murphy’s vision of hell has never been explained.

The reunion

Up until this point, the episode doesn’t seem to show a seriously disturbing turn in Bellamy: we saw that he was starting to take the Disciples’ faith seriously and even to believe in it, and the first thing he does when turning up in the Stone Room on Bardo is look happy and relieved he made it, and hug an equally happy Doucette. So, he made a friend among the Disciples and will be the one telling Clarke and the rest: “We should take this seriously, they have a point, here is what I saw on Etherea...” - right? That would make perfect sense while not fundamentally changing who Bellamy is.

But no! Bellamy falls to his knees and calls Cadogan “My Shepherd” - which was one of the most painful scenes for me to see in all of the show, even more so than the later scene where he snitches on Clarke. There’s been a lot this season about “kings” forcing subjects to kneel - but instead of the “kneel or die” approach that Anders more or less used (while Sheidheda is using it in the most literal way possible), this is out of genuine belief. I  don’t know if I’m really buying this massive transformation that we see here and in the next scene. It’s just a bit too much. Maybe information about what it was that Belalmy saw when he went ‘into the light’ would help explain it better.

Cadogan is happy to use Bellamy to convince Clarke to cooperate, and informs him: “Your friends are here, they have gotten themselves in some trouble”. Maybe this adds up to the reason why Bellamy is uncomfortable when he sees them a bit later, because they’ve been bad - but only some of them were (Echo with her murders, torture and genocide attempt, the others - not really, except Hope, someone he doesn’t even know yet). But when he comes to see them, he looks broken, exhausted and numb after all his experiences. And probably wary of giving in to the “selfish love”. (His friendship with Doucette is presumably in line with his new faith, but he seems to think his friendship with Clarke is not? Is that his relationship with Clarke actually involves love, real love for an individual?) After finally reuniting with the people he had been trying to reach all that time on Etherea, he doesn’t even look happy to see them. To quote Bellamy from earlier in the episode,Sometimes, Bellamy Blake, irony is funny. This is not one of these times.

Meanwhile, his friends are in Cadogan’s living quarters in house arrest. Conveniently, it’s just Clarke, Echo and Octavia there - plus Gabriel, but the focus is on Bellamy’s reunions with the three women he named as the people he loved earlier in the episode. Raven is not there, neither are Miller, Jordan, Niylah or Hope. (The last time Bellamy saw Jordan, Jordan was the brainwashed one. Hey, what happened to that storyline? Did it end up as a casualty of the rewrites?)

They’re discussing what to do, and Clarke has decided to basically sacrifice her life so the others could escape. We know that Clarke is a very selfless person, but  the way she’s been increasingly casually deciding to sacrifice herself feels a bit disturbing - as if she’s stopped caring about her own life or hoping for happiness. At this point, her big character development would be to choose happiness and try to have what she wants. Even her “selfish” actions up to this point were mostly about trying to protect others. We haven’t even seen her show much emotion this season - as if she was on autopilot - except for her early grieving Abby earlier in the season, and moments when she’s silently grieving Bellamy, 

Cadogan is there to offer the carrot rather than the stick, and being a drama queen, doesn’t Clarke and the others that Bellamy is there, but lets him in. They are massively surprised but don’t notice something’s off, or rather, they seem to assume he is just physically exhausted and in pain rather than mentally/emotionally off, as he silently looks at Clarke and Octavia and then Echo. Camera shows close-ups of the reactions of the people who love him: Clarke’s, Echo’s and Octavia’s reactions before going back to Clarke. (Probably because she’s the main character, in case people have forgotten, and her relationship with Bellamy is at center of the show), Octavia is happy and proud tries to hug her brother, but the Disciples pull out weapons. Clarke ignores the weapons, counting on her status/leverage, and hugs him. 

She looks lovingly at him, with something we haven’t seen from her in a long time - happiness, that’s definitely not “best friend that I’m not attracted to” but “best friend I have naughty thoughts about”. (Only love can make you hug someone who must be smelling really badly at this point, considering Bellamy hasn’t washed or changed his clothes in over 3 months!)

This hug is different from any other Bellarke hug ever, since Bellamy is so numb, even when he hugs her back, but she is too happy to see him back to notice.  And then when she takes the chance to also get him up to speed and tell him about the Flame - he gets an incredibly sad look on his face. He is not unemotional now - but he has decided he must ignore and suppress those feelings, betray her trust and tell Cadogan the truth, because his faith and the so-called “love for all mankind” comes first.

Everyone is shocked when he calls Cadogan “My Shepherd” and then beyond shocked when he betrays them - and camera again shows Echo’s, Octavia’s and Clarke’s reactions, going back to Cadogan, and then the episode ends on a close-up of Clarke’s shocked face. Because, you know, she’s still the main character. And finally, now we can hopefully have a S7 storyline that properly focuses on the show’s protagonist and utilizes Eliza’s talent allowing her to show a range of emotions. When Clarke believed Bellamy was dead, he was someone she could hold in her memory and try to honor it by saving his sister and girlfriend - but this is a whole new way of losing him, right after thinking she got him back, and means real emotional turmoil.

Bellamy has become a true believer and decided to stop being himself. And the people who love him will now have to deal with his loss - in another way - all over again, and try to save him. I’m torn because this storyline offers huge opportunities for a “power of love” storyline right out of a fanfic, but I’m uncomfortable with the idea that it may come at the expense of having Bellamy be manipulated and subjugated to a white megalomaniac villain in the last season. But I hope and expect we will see genuine character development and re-affirmation of who Bellamy Blake is. Now, there are a lot of things Bellamy doesn’t know yet and that have contributed to him drinking Cadogan’s Kool-Aid (he hasn’t seen Cadogan’s dealings with his family or Second Dawn, or what he did to Becca, or Anders’ actions on Bardo, or the way the Disciples mistreat their own people, and he doesn’t know about Cadogan’s mistranslation of the Bardoan text), but I don’t think the resolution of this storyline will be about Cadogan or what Bellamy knows about his religion. I think it will be Bellamy himself and his relationships. Clarke and Octavia had big character arcs in season 5-6 where they had to deal with who they are, who they’ve become and what they want to be negating everything he is. He needs to finally really deal with his self-loathing and guilt and he needs to gain back trust in himself, the Bellamy Blake that others loved and trusted and relied on. He needs to feel loved and decide that love is strength and a positive rather than just ‘selfish’ force. (And who can show him that? Hint: not his girlfriend Echo, whose love he would definitely see as confirmation that love is selfish and destructive, as it makes a person do things like murder, torture and attempted genocide out of revenge. Another hint: probably the same person who gave him confidence and made him believe in himself and grow as a person, multiple times, all the way back in season 1 and again in season 3 and season 4, telling him he was a person that other follow because of his big heart and the way he can inspire people. And third hint - the same person Bellamy was saving - her physical self - in season 6, will be the one who’ll have to save him, mentally, save who he is., in season 7.)

Rating: 8/10 (could go higher or lower depending on how the cave visions are explained and what the outcome of this plot is)

[casualbellarke]

Thoughts about The 100 ending...

-Lexa is back... but it’s not really her. Yay for Clexa fans I guess? Glad this ship got some sort of closure.

-It was nice to see “Abby” again. I’ve always liked her dynamic with Raven even if it wasn’t really our Abby.

-Raven, Murphy, Emori, Octavia and Indra live on! Raven is a true hero of the series IMO and Memori is such a sweet ship that got their well deserved happy ending (besides not being able to have children erm). Happy that JRoth didn’t mess these up.

-Madi dying is heartbreaking and for Clarke to never be able to transcend and see her again sucks big time! 

-Bellamy’s death is BS. I was fully prepared for Bellarke to remain platonic but never in a million years did I even dream for them to end this way i.e. Bellamy getting shot in the chest by Clarke’s hand. YIKES! “Bellamy was right” but so what? He join a cult, betrayed his friends and died as a villain. No redemption and no closure so what’s the point? For me, it was NOT Clarke who killed Bellamy, it was rather JRoth‘s pen. The person that Clarke killed was not the Bellamy we knew and loved. Total character assassination of Bellamy Blake is a deal breaker that won’t make me watch season 7 now. Glad I was spoiled before I wasted my time.

-Clarke not being left all alone (with just a dog)... and her friends staying back for her does make for a “good ending” I suppose. But Bellamy and Madi should’ve been there.

[angstybleuskies]

Hello friends! So for Blarke Wine Club last night I let a few friends give me a prompt so I could attempt my first Bellarke fanfic drabble.

Here it is 🙈🙈 It’s my first one so plz be kind😅😅

Clarke pulled up to her new dorm, shut off the GPS and looked out her window at the five-story brick building. It was brick, with windows set at regular intervals across the front. She could see people in a few of the windows, putting sheets on beds and hanging clothes in wardrobes. Dad's hauling clear plastic bins, mothers dragging overstuffed suitcases, and little brothers and sisters carrying backpacks with plush dragons or bears poking out the top were scattered around the front lawn.

She turned off her car and climbed out, unable to keep the smile from forming. She was finally at Ground University, the place she’d been dreaming with her dad since she was little. She touched the slightly oversized watch on her wrist, her smile turning wistful as a small wave of grief hit her. She closed her eyes breathing in the smell of teen spir-her eyes flashed open and she bit her cheek to contain her laugh. If her thoughts were getting that cliched that was a sign to stop dawdling and check in.

She walked up to one of the neon-shirt wearing residential assistants, a tall pretty girl with a name tag that said ‘Anya’. Anya nodded as Clarke approached and asked. “Hi, need some help?”

“Hi, where do I go to check in?”

“Check in is over there,” She pointed to the table with a short queue in front of it and three neon shirts seated with letter ranges on signs in front of them. Clarkes nodded, gave a small smile and walked over,. She could feel the excitement bubbling up in her. She was finally here.

💙💙💙💙

Bellamy sighed as he navigated the cars and families dispersed on the street, but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He could see O bouncing in her seat, beaming as she turned her head around trying to take it all in. Bellamy glanced down at the directions he’d written out, turning in to the drive in front of Octavia’s soon to be dorm.

Bellamy turned off the car, looking to Octavia to see her already getting out, running up to one of the resident assistants scattered about in bright T-shirts. He shook his head, but couldn’t keep the fond smile off his face. Octavia deserved this. She had always chafed under their overly strict mother, and after she’d died and been sent to live with a foster family for a year she’d had a lot of rage. It had taken Bellamy forever to get set up in a job and get custody for his sister. She deserved to have something she was excited about.

“Bell!” Octavia skidded to a halt in front of him, her smile taking up her entire face. She grabbed his hand and began dragging him over to the queue where other students and families were gathered. “ They said I need to check in and grab my key and then I can start taking things in. Bell I’m so excited to start classes and…”

Bellamy listened to his sister absentmindedly, taking in the campus. There were at least four blue-light emergency poles scattered in view of the dorm and from what he could see of the incoming freshman there were more girls than guys living in this dorm. The corner of his mouth lifted, those were two less things to worry about. He turned his attention forward back to his sister as he heard Octavia ask someone where they were from.

“Connecticut. I drove down by myself.” The blonde who had been in front of them in the queue was talking to Octavia. She was beautiful, with long blond curls and bright blue eyes. Those eyes snagged on something in his memory, like a word on the tip of his tongue. It slipped away as Bellamy’s gaze caught on the watch on her wrist, a frown forming as he realized it was the type of watch that would cost him more than he’d make in a month. He tuned in closer to their conversation.

“So how’d you pick Ground?” Octavia was tying back her hair into a quick messy braid.

“My dad. This was his Alma mater. We talked about me going to school here since I was little.”

Bellamy couldn’t hold back the scoff. Here was another legacy brat getting into college because of daddy’s money. He turned as he felt a gaze boring into the side of his face. The blonde was glaring at him, her blue eyes crackling like blue flames. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Help you with something Princess?”

💙💙💙💙

Clarke could feel the pissed off feeling growing in her chest. She crossed her arms, gazing up at the asshole behind the dark haired girl Clarke had been speaking with. She had said hello when Clarke glanced back and caught her eye, skipping over their names and asking Clarke where she was from and if her family was here. When Clarke’s eye had snagged on the y’all guy next to her, she’d waved at him vaguely saying he was her older brother. He was hot, with bronze skin, dark curls, and eyes the color of cinnamon. There was something familiar about those eyes but the feeling slipped away before she could catch it. Too bad his attitude ruined it. She could feel the dislike rolling off him in waves.

“Seems to me you’re the one with the problem. After all, you clearly had a comment on something I said?” Clarke raised one of her own eyebrows, not wavering from their stare down.

He smirked. “Not at all Princess.”

Clarke held back the flinch that nickname brought. She opened her mouth to respond when His sistertapped her arm pointing to where the Residential Counselor behind the A-G sign was smiling and waving.

Clarke gave the dark-haired girl a smile and a quick, “I’ll see you around,”before walking up. She filled out the form as the RA chattered at her about rules and what to do if she got lost or locked out. She could hear the two siblings behind her arguing.

“-the hell? You didn’t have to be rude. I was making a new friend,” She heard the girl with the unfortunate brother snap.

“You don’t need a friend like that O. Did you see her watch? Or hear her when she said her dad got her into this school?” He scoffed again. “She’s clearly another privileged brat here on Daddy’s dime.”

Clarke’s back stiffened and she could feel herself turn to ice as rage washed through her body. She gave a mechanical smile to the chipper RA handing her form and ID to the RA. She could still hear the siblings going back and forth but she wasn’t listening anymore. She focused on what the RA was saying, trying to keep her rage contained so she didn’t go off in front of her new classmates and their families. She took back her ID and key, not even turning to wave at, too afraid that seeing the asshole’s face would set her off.

💙💙💙💙

Bell had no idea why the nickname had slipped out. He was so careful not to use it, it had always been reserved for one person, someone he hadn’t seen in years. And back then it had always been used alongside happy laughter and wide smiles. He had no idea why this girl had caused him to slip. Maybe it was the hair or the eyes making him think of her. But it couldn’t be her, wherever she was, she would have already been as junior in college not this freshman brat.

Bell glanced at Octavia and frowned at the disappointment on her face as the blonde girl left without a goodbye. His gaze lingered on her as she walked up to a black BMW. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. He’d called it. O didn’t need friends like that. He’d spent the last three years at this university as a janitor, watching a parade of privileged brats piss away an opportunity he could only dream of. He didn’t want someone like that getting Octavia into trouble.

Octavia didn’t even look at him as she checked in grabbing her key and storming back to their car. He rubbed the back of his neck knowing he’d have to deal with the silent treatment over the next few hours as they moved her in. Octavia had already grabbed her backpack and a duffel and Bellamy jogged to catch up as she started toward the dorm, clearly not waiting for him. He grabbed her duffel and plastic bin stuffed with various odds and ends and ran to catch up with her.

He followed her through the hallways full of overly emotional parents and excited freshman. They went up a flight of stairs to the third floor before walking down the hall a bit, stopping in front of room 102. The RA had tacked two tags to the bulletin board on the door. The door tags were shaped like stars, one said Octavia Blake. Bellamy was staring at the other.

He’d not heard that name since he was nine. Clarke Griffin. His best friend until they had had to move away. It couldn’t be the same one, the chances were so unlikely. He felt a sense of foreboding start to grow in his stomach but he couldn’t place why.

Octavia opened the door, pausing in the threshold. As Bellamy looked over Octavia’s shoulder, his gaze caught on the girl from outside, her eyes opened wide with surprise. “Princess…?”

Any blame can be directed toward @historyofbellarke and @animmortalist for encouraging me to do this 😂

[cs-and-bellarke]

Love isn't weakness: A Bellarke Fanfic

Ao3, FF

Prev / Next Part

Chapter 11

Bellamy’s P.O.V

In the morning I wake up to the sound of Octavia trying to sneak in, I leave my room and when I see O I clear my voice and she jumps. “What the hell Bellamy?” she says.

“So where were you really last night?” I ask her.

“With Raven and Harper”

“No you weren't because Raven called me last night and asked if you were home”

“Damn it”

“Where were you?” I asked again.

“Out” she says.

“Octavia Blake, while mom is in the hospital I am your caretaker and I want to know where you were last night and why you are sneaking in so early in the morning”

“I was with Lincoln okay”

“Why”

“We went on a date and...by the time it was over I was so tired so I crashed at his place...nothing happened though” she explains. 

“Are you dating him?” I asked her.

“Yeah, please don’t go all protective big brother, I know you want to protect me but I really like him and I don’t want you to scare him off”

“I can’t promise anything, oh and Clarke is here sleeping in your room, she stayed last night”

“Did you…”

“No, but I woke up around 1:00am and she was out here in the living room looking out the window, she told me about a dream she had and how she was afraid that it would come true yet at the same time she wanted it to happen, so I told her to go bed”

“You are very sweet and thank you for telling her to go to bed, I’m going to go check on her”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Octavia’s P.O.V

I went to my room where I saw Clarke was half awake because her phone went off, I went over to her and sat on the bed and this woke her up all the way. “Hey, you’re home,” she says.

“Yeah, and Bell knows, Raven called and asked if I was home so he knew I wasn’t with them but he trusted and knew I would take care of myself so he didn’t freak out as much” I told her.

“Well he never asked me but you know I probably would have told him if he was so worried about you”

“I know”

“Where’s Bellamy?” she asks.

“In the kitchen making food, it’s 10:45 so he should almost be done with breakfast” I tell her. She nods and goes into the bathroom to take a short shower and get dressed. I can tell just by the way she talks about my brother that she has feelings for him even if she doesn’t want to admit to herself. I go in the living room and Bellamy is in the kitchen doing god knows what and when Clarke comes out I saw his face light up like a Christmas tree.

“Good morning Princess, you getting any sleep?” he asks her.

“Morning, umm… yeah a bit thanks” she says back trying to hide her blush.

From the time I met Clarke to when she met my brother she seems a bit happier but something is keeping her from showing him what she truly feels. I want her and my brother to be happy but I’m just afraid that what happened last time will happen again...but I hope it won’t.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clarke’s P.O.V

I noticed Octavia watching me and Bellamy and I know what she's thinking, she wants to know why I don’t go for my chance at happiness but as I said before I can’t take that risk again...I can’t take the risk of getting my heart broken again because Love is Weakness. Don’t get me wrong I like Bellamy but he’s a player and that just means I’ll end up with my heart broken once again, Bellamy and I work as friends for now and I hope for a while. 

*in Clarke’s journal*

Bellamy is a player which means that he goes from girl to girl to girl and doesn’t think of the consequences and that I will not be a part of. He is sweet now but once he gets what he wants he will treat me like the rest of the sluts he sleeps with, yeah I know calling all those girls sluts is mean but most of them are, there are some that aren't sluts and I feel bad for them because they end up sleeping with him before making it official or talking about what will happen and they get their heart broken just like I did. One thing I did differently was I would talk to them before anything happened, I wouldn’t sleep with Finn and that’s one reason why he cheated on me. I am only in 11th grade I’m not ready for that...I’m only 16 years old...6 months younger than Bellamy. Bellamy was held back in school that's why he is in the same grade as me and O.

I can’t be another one of those girls that falls for Bellamy Blake ends up sleeping with him and getting my heart broken. One thing that O told me about was that Bellamy lost his virginity this year at a party my brother hosted and part of me hates Murphy for it but the other part just wishes that he didn’t throw the party in the first place. Maybe just maybe if Murphy didn’t host that party Bellamy wouldn’t be a player right now, and I want to yell and blame my brother for what Bellamy became but I can’t because I think he would have become a player it’s just a coincidence it happened at the party my brother had. Lexa was right about everything and there is nothing I can do to let her know how sorry I am for not believing her sooner. After what happened with Finn I realized that she was right and I needed to listen to what she told me before she died. I am not taking a chance at having my heart broken again. Lexa was my older sister and when she died I stopped talking… to everyone, the day she died she told me to never fall in love because love is a weakness and it will only end in heartbreak. Murphy is my brother yes but Lexa and Murphy are not siblings whatsoever. 

My mom had an affair with our neighbor and my dad fell in love with a woman and had a little girl but that was before I was born, same with the affair my mom had. My dad was in love with someone else before he met my mother and when he met my mother he fell for her, the other woman I guess died and my dad thought this was his last chance at happiness. 2 years after my mother and father married, my mother had an affair with the neighbor...his name was Kane. Marcus Kane. My mother then had a baby boy and my father thought it was his because he didn’t know about the affair until after I was born, I know my mom didn’t want me but my dad did and that's all I needed. When I was 10, Murphy was 11, and Lexa was 21...my dad died and I was there...we were on our way home when we got in a hit and run accident. I saw my dad take his last breath then everything went black, I was in the hospital for 2 months in a coma. 

The doctors thought at first there was a chance of me not waking up but then I did, one thing I didn’t mention is that it felt like my mother had left me when I was 5 so with no one to take care of me, me and Murphy went with Marcus Kane. Lexa killed herself when I was 13 because the man she was in love with hurt her and she couldn’t live anymore... She was trying to get us out of the care of my mother and Kane but sadly she failed because the court wouldn’t give her custody because of her drug problem. And all I can think about was that she was right and I should have listened to her when I had the chance the first time.

*end of the writing*

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What are you writing princess?” Bellamy asks when he sees me put my book down.

“The story of my life” I tell him.

“Is it for school”

“No, it’s too sad for that, but some of the things Murphy doesn’t even know about so…”

“Would you let me read it?”

“Maybe one day, I have to get home...I’ll see you later” I say and get up to leave.

“Yeah I’ll see you later” he says as I leave.

[sometimesrosy]

Bellamy and clarke separated but finding some hapiness and peace, after they confess their feelings for each other. Would it be a bittersweat ending? They know they love each other, but they can't stay together. Would it feet the narrative being told? Like a season 4 ending, but they confess their feelings and can comunicate via radio

It might tell the narrative, but I believe it would be a tragic ending, no sweet, just bitter.

To have that epic, soulmate love, but to be separated from it forever?

Yes, it would be epic. Yes, it would fit some of the symbolism and metaphors (like sun and moon, never to meet,) but I don’t think it follows the characters to their personal character journeys.

It would be an ending that reinforced the need to sacrifice the self for the greater good. And it SEEMS like the story, since s5 at least, has been telling us that it’s not just about surviving, not just about saving people, not just about doing it for your people, but ALSO about believing you deserve happiness, you deserve a chance to live, everyone deserves to try for that good life, even when they are bearing the burden of taking care of their people. Actually, that’s been a theme, often unaddressed, since season 1. They were UNABLE to do that in their traumatized lives. So as we’ve seen them heal, we’ve seen them start to take steps towards living the life that is right for them... like Monty and Harper. 

From the beginning, “Together” has been really important for not only Bellarke, but also the entire show. But SPECIFICALLY for Bellarke, or reuniting them wouldn’t have been the central plot line in season 5. 

IF Bellarke gets to be together before the finale, but doesn’t either live “happily” ever after or DIE together, but rather is separated forever... I think that would be backtracking on the personal development of the characters and the concept that you can’t live your lives for other people. It would be reinforcing the toxic and incorrect concept that they “bear it so their people don’t have to.”

Now both Clarke AND Bellamy tend to be self sacrificial and willing to die to save their people, and that’s part of what makes them heroes, but this has turned out to be TERRIBLE for them. And separating would be them sacrificing THEIR happiness for their people. 

Happy for their people, tragedy for them. I suppose that could be the bittersweet. Like Pirates of the Caribbean where Elizabeth and Will are separated and can only meet once a day every year or some such. Or even Titanic, where Jack sacrifices himself so she can survive on that door, and she lives and he dies and they are reunited in death decades later. It’s a trope. It happens. 

Could it happen? Yes. Will it happen? I don’t think so.

Ok. Thinking back to past story.

Deleted script when Bellamy asked Clarke to run away with him from s1/day trip

Closing the drop ship door on B and F, then B telling her it was the right thing to do at the campfire.

We’re all safe here in MW. “not all of us.” no B or F 

“I can’t lose you too/It’s worth the risk” when B went into the mountain and I maintain is where their relationship broke. As B thought C didn’t care and C became desperate to save him.

“Together” pulling the lever at MW

B’s desperation to save Clarke in wanheda (can’t lose her!)

“Together” again when they drank floukru’s poison. Live or die together. Almost an oath.

Start with Bellamy Blake

“If I’m on that list, you’re on that list.”

Jaha questioning B about who else he needs to save in order to feel worthy, and the way he looked at Clarke.

C giving up half of Arkadia’s spots to save B.

C not being able to sacrifice B for the sake of humanity.

B being traumatized by leaving C to die in praimfaya (trauma which lasts 6 years. Reinforced in s 5 and 6 with how he CAN’T do that again. Can’t leave Raven behind, can’t sacrifice E for O, can’t let O kill C, can’t leave Murphy, Emori and Monty to die, WON’T let Clarke die in Sanctum.)

NOW, Clarke has been willing to let go of her claim on Bellamy because she believes he loves E, and also she would never go against his will and his choices for his life. Bellamy wouldn’t let Clarke sacrifice herself although he did in perverse instantiation, he was “still with her” by fighting to keep her safe (maybe that was the hand hold metaphor there. they were in it together.) They’re BOTH willing to sacrifice themselves for the safety of their people but they are NOT willing to sacrifice the other. They have in the past, (MW and Praimfaya) and it was not worth it.

I think it might seem like one of them will sacrifice themselves to save everyone... and I’m betting Bellamy, who will probably be “the key”... but I think that at the last moment, Clarke will NOT let him go alone, even though they only need one person. If you’re on that list, I’m on that list. 

What if that scene at the tree in Day Trip was meant to be distant foreshadowing for them “running away together” at the end of the story, but it turned out to be too romantic for that early in the narrative so they deleted it? Hmm. 

Anyway. That’s my ending for Bellarke. They die together, because one won’t let the other sacrifice themselves without them. (and then I think they get a happy ending isolated and separated from their friends, a soft epilogue outside of the story, like Marper.)

But could they become romantic and then get separated? Yes. It fits the larger narrative. And I think it will seem like that’s going to happen before we get an “I jump you jump” moment (another titanic reference. the tropes fit.) Because letting one sacrifice themselves no longer fits the Bellarke narrative. They’ve gotten to the point where they can’t do that anymore. BTDT, and not again.

[bellamyblake]

I dont wanna be mean but I Have been rewatching lately and I realized that Clarke's live is tragic it is but Bellamy's more Fucked up

in many ways i agree with this mostly because i’ve been thinking about it since he died a lot. 

and yes i do think clarke’s life is very tragic but what i do think also happened to her is that the SL itself punished her unnicessarily especially in the last season, in ways that...if you count all of eliza’s scenes, about 80% of them are her crying and it honestly got very very exhausting. even to watch. as good as she is and she is great, it gets repetitive. she sells it but you start wondering gd why?? you become indifferent at some point to it all.

that aside, i do agree because of a few major points.

bellamy’s never had a happy childhood. 

of course we don’t know what his life was like before O.ctavia was born. i like to think that maybe there was a glimpse of hope there. i think and hope too that bob wanted his filipino heritige respect though it never was but in my headcanon land he had a filipino dad who loved him dearly and who died tragically after which things went very wrong. but i believe he was loved dearly. 

yet canon and the writers i think tried to instill the idea that aurora slept with random men so neither his nor o’s father are known. however i do believe aurora must’ve loved him a lot when he was born and i think he was a mama’s boy before O was born and everything concentrated solely on her.

so yes, he’s had a very unhappy childhood. a childhood marked by mostly FEAR and that is no way for a child to live and whilst Clarke has had a tragic life we have seen her past and we know she had a family-a dad and a mom, a father who loved her dearly, she was clearly a dada’s girl, the apple of his eye, he understood her, they were connected, which is why she sees him so often in memories or when she is in situations where she almost *dies*. and as complicated as her relationship with her mother is, it’s clear abby’s love for her is very strong even if their relationship was strained by Jake’s passing.

so clarke had a family, she lived in Alpha where we know conditions were better and she was best friend with the chancellor’s son. i’d say up to the point where her father died things were probably pretty rosy.

meanwhile bellamy became a parent more or less at the age of seven. a child was placed in his hands in the way a mother passes a newborn to her husband, and he becomes responsible for a life that technically-

is not allowed to exist.

just let that whole part sink in cause that’s the tragedy of him.

he lived in absolute fear of the worst happening.  forced to become a guard so he could protect her, share rations with his forbidden sister so she could live and help his mother out.

then his worst fear happened.

because of HIMSELF!

the one moment he dared reach for happiness it was taken from him. and it killed his mom who he clearly loves very much and locked his sister who we know he loves beyond himself.

a year of absolutely lonliness, guilt-rideness and pain passes.

then he goes to earth and his sister who’s finally free decides to have a life of her own and split like every child does at some point, from her family. be free because she’s been locked up all her life and he’s left..confused?? doing irrational things, trying to control what he no longer can control.

trying to hold on to love.

because in all the pain and suffering he did have a family-his mom and his sister.

but now it’s gone.

then he grows to love and care for the 100. for clarke.

and he goes into a mountain to save them.

but instead ends up committing genocide.

meanwhile his sister runs off with a grounder (which...i have thoughts on o’s love life but i wont go there now).

and then he’s left alone by the one person he still had in his life. and let’s be real i love the blakes but they were never truly resolved. they came close to it in season 6 but it wasn’t truly done well. so i think it’s fair to say that from the moment he touches the ground, even though he does it for his sister-

he loses her.

and he only has clarke left.

but clarke leaves.

so he’s loveless, empty, broken and absolutely destroyed by the fact that he killed a mountain full of people some of whom were good and tried to save them.

he’s destroyed inside.

and then on and on-the pike manipulation, the massacre, more guilt, more pain. the death wave and a weightless loseless fight that bears no meaning but he tries he tries he goddamn tries

though he doesn’t know why, surely not for himself. for O? for clarke? for the others? for his people?

what is there left for him to do.

aurora blake raised no suiciders. no losers. he can’t kill himself as much as death seems alluring.

what i find the saddest is that he has no real love in his life. yes he has clarke and yes we know they were written as romantic but it was never canon canon so he doesn’t have this great epic love story that all the other characters have-clarke with L, o with Lincoln, raven with f/nn, jasper with maya, monty with harper, lastly john with emori which i think was the best written one.

and that is the tragedy indeed. 

because he IS the character who is the MOST heart even at his *head*-est and yet he is denied love. he’s denied a great love story (again bellarke-aside here). he is DENIED his heart being loved the way it loves, he is denied the gentleness of a soft, kind, filled with extremes-ups and downs, or even challenges, love.

he’s denied it.

the heart is denied love.

i don’t count e/cho. im sorry but that just as clarke killing him was done purely out of spite. there was no real love there, no emotion, no romance. it was a time jump relationship just like his one with gina. he’s REFUSED a great love story. 

he has it with clarke. but he’s denied actually going there too. 

i find it sad because love spills out of him in waves, all of himself he gives out, all of his softness kindness, even his flaws, he lets out in the open and says this is me, i am not ashamed of myself. i may hate myself but i love. 

and there’s no one to love him back.

and then in the end of course im saddest because we’ve seen the craziest shit on earth and he’s still denied understanding from his friends. but i wont go there because it hurts too much.

so yes clarke lost a lot. she lost L and she lost madi in a way and she lost her dad and her mom. but she’s had happiness in her life, she’s had a family, she’s had great love, she’s even had the cutesy teenage drama romance with f/nn and then a good love and then yes death and pain. she is separated from her friends, she is punished unnecessarily like he is too.

but she’s known it.

and she’s known the peace from those 6 years on earth. peace he craved and strived towards in the end. she’s had that with madi. whilst he’s spent that punishing himself over leaving her behind and once again trying to keep their people together in her abscence to honor her.

i’m sure he’s had happy moments. maybe glimpses. like bob said, glimpses of peace. maybe he’s had glimpses of happiness too. when he was baby boy and his mom picked him from his crib or his dad carried him arround or when he carried O around and talked to her. or when he was hugged by clarke.

but he should’ve had more. 

he deserved more.