#it's old tshirts

[baejax-the-great]

10 Facts about me

Thanks for the tag @midnightprelude =)

I currently have ~44 houseplants. My favorite changes by the week, but my christmas cactus, pink panther, and philo brasil are often up there. Oh and my tineke. And begonia. And birkin. Oh and my piper crocatum. Actually I love all of them except for my aloe and the jade plant that is intent on dying. If anyone in Chicago wants an aloe, it's yours.

In high school, I won second place with my bestie in a lip sync competition at the Valentine's Day dance (which was called Cupid Night Out, which was a riff on Stupid Night Out, the autumn dance, and needless to say it was less a formal and more a ridiculous costume party).

Bestie and I reprised the award-almost-winning performance at her wedding reception.

When I lived in China, my (awful) boss once called me drunk at 10pm to demand I take a taxi into town to the karaoke he was at and sing "Tian mi mi" for his Communist Party friends. I pretended my phone cut out and went to sleep.

That same boss did successfully bully me into pretending to be a member of the American Kung Fu team so that the local kung fu competition would count as "international." I had to wear athletic clothing and march in a parade similar to what you see in the opening ceremonies in the Olympics, complete with a young girl in a fancy dress holding up a sign proclaiming us the American Kung Fu team. We were on tv. No, I do not know how to do a single move of kung fu, and neither did anyone else on the "team."

Around five years ago, I stopped using an alarm clock to wake up and learned I naturally have "the sleep schedule of a medieval peasant," aka I tend to wake up with the dawn and rarely stay up past 10.

During my first trip to China (mainland) in 2008, while a friend was taking me to his favorite restaurant near his college, I fell into a manhole. The manhole had a cover, but it flipped up when I stepped on it. Only one foot fell in, and the cover hit me in the chest so hard it's possible I cracked a rib. I could not get out of bed the next day. Dinner was good, though, once my friend pulled me out. Honestly I was just thankful my sandal didn't fall off.

The first time I ate a deviled egg was in high school during the regional tennis matches. A local elderly woman would come every year with a picnic for our entire team. As far as I know, she never came to a single other event at our school (maybe the boys' regionals?). When we made it to state, she sent another picnic with us. I wish I remembered her name.

I got my driver's license the day before I was starting a job I had to drive to. There was a bug in the car, and the tester, after warning me she wasn't going to say anything to me other than directions, whacked me repeatedly with her clipboard when the bug landed on me, and then spent the rest of the test talking about how insane it was that there was a bug in the car. I passed.

I was taught badminton from my college's football coach and he told me I was his favorite student because I never stopped smiling. And that is because badminton is the funnest sport I've ever played.

tagging @queso-magnifico @ninepoints @juliafied @redmapleleavesonwhitesnow @vimlos

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[heavenbarnes]

thinking about how older bf!Simon is sweaty and dirty after gardening and reader just goes crazy over that cause he's wearing grey sweatpants and the print and the pudge of his tummy is visible

let’s live the older bf!simon house husband fantasy fr

this is retired older bf!simon with all this time on his hands, all the time to give you whatever you need- you name it, it’s yours.

so he’s on those hands and knees in the garden, he’s been laying the patch of soil, weeding the shit out of it, getting nice and pretty for your lavender plants.

you’d seen them at the garden centre and simon swears, the look on your face when you saw them? that happy little smile? he’d cover the fucking house in them.

he was starting with the garden, covered in dirt and a heavy layer of sweat over him. upper arms straining against his t-shirt every time he ripped out a chunk of weeds.

back of his hand swiping against his forehead as he sat back on his haunches.

you couldn’t help but stare, quietly leaning in the door with a cup of tea in hand.

“whaddya’ think?” didn’t even have to turn around, he just knew.

he always knew.

walking up beside him, he rest his head gently against your thigh as you scratched your fingernails through his sweaty crop of hair.

“think i’m the luckiest person alive”

simon snorts a laugh through his nose as he reaches up to take your tea off you, finishing the last mouthful. you always save the best parts for him.

when he stands up to full height, you finally get the full picture.

fucking hell.

everything is covered in dirt, sweat stained and ready to sink your teeth into. broad shoulders with a stomach that softened with every meal he was finally home for.

he looked like yours.

you’d evidently been staring so long it was noticeable, the way simon was wrapping a hand around your back to pull you into him.

his lips were doing a good job at distracting you from the fact he was pushing you towards the swing seat. the same one he’d made from scratch (and christened by splitting you open on it).

seemed like you were heading down the same road, until simon began to sink to his knees. getting rid of your knickers, there was a glaring difference between your pretty skin and the dirt marring his knuckles.

“simon- s’dirty”

you think he nodded, but he could’ve just been nuzzling his face closer between your thighs. not a speck of dirt left behind when he crossed his wrists behind his back.

“look sweet’art, no ‘ands”

[daydreamerwonderkid]

All Tim does is eat hot potato chip and lie.

You do NOT have permission to repost my art.

[imi-ike]

meangirlgenius (insp.)

[mcchi-ken]

the target audience for these is me and my sister but you're all welcome to join the italianification party 🫶 stan didnt need much changes because he literally wears the tank+gold chain combo. he's a grandpa from Caltanissetta

bonus italian soundtrack for the twin brothers if you want go listen to them they're all bops 😜

[azogue2718]

Im baaacckk (ToT)

[girlwiththegreenhat]

y'all need to see this ancient t-shirt my dad still had from the 90s

[shrimpchipsss]

cumplane complain cumplane

[tamapalace]

Old Navy Lists New Tamagotchi T-Shirt

Get that new shirt for back to school! Old Navy, an American clothing retailer has listed a new Tamagotchi shirt, it’s actually their second shirt. Now if you walk into school with this on, you’ve got that rizz. That’s what the kids say.

This 100% cotton related t-shirt is a rib-knit crew neck and short shelves in sea salt color. The graphic on the front of the shirt are Lovelitchi, Memetchi, Kikitchi, Mametchi, Kuchipatchi, Coffretchi, Mimitchi, and Momotchi all happy and smiling around pink clouds, with the Tamagotchi logo at the bottom.

Available in sizes extra small to extra extra extra extra large, love the inclusion. Listed for $19.99 but you can definitely score a deal and get it cheaper.

[vintage-tigre]

Debbie Harry, 1977

[kiwibrain]

he would listen to gorillaz methinks

[ballpitwitch]

Keanu Reeves performing at Saint Rocke in Hermosa Beach, CA - August 10, 2023

[xmilkwee3dx]

🖤

[starsnores]

for some reason i keep thinking about vriska constantly bullying a guy for the disability she caused trying to kill him to make him "stronger" because she was trying and assuage her own guilt for a situation where no one was really mad at her anymore and the only person who really held a grudge against her was aradia and because of that grudge she ended up being the only troll to go god tier in some like. repentance rebirth thing.

[hostilemuppet]

you guys say thus every fucking time a "bad" movie or tv show comes out and you never learn that their source of income is not going to be a bunch of 20 somethings who grew up watching yogscast buying tickets "for the bit". it is going to be parents taking their kids who play minecraft pocket edition on their phones. when will you guys learn that the main demographic of kids movies is in fact children. the minecraft movie is probably gonna make a buttload of money because it is the minecraft movie and children love minecraft and will beg their parents to take them. you posting on tumblr "dont hatewatch" isnt going to do anything, the same way posting it about velma or big mouth or whatever wasnt gonna do anything bc their main demographics are grown adults with jobs putting it to halfwatch after work over dinner which is why they got insanely good ratings. you arent going to fucking do anthing by saying "dont hatewatch" bc hatewatchers probably account for 5% of views MAXIMUM please stop trying oh my god oh my god oh my god