#it's probably gonna take them a bit to get to where orym is if something were to happen so i guess dorian is his only back up)

[awaytobeunshaken]

If You See Me Falling

He tried. After everything that went down, after seeing Orym throw that locket away with the remains of a man they’d all started to think of as a friend. After seeing him walk away and shut down and say with every bit of body language that he just wanted to be alone, whether or not it was truly what he needed. If you see me falling down, pick me up, Orym’s words from a few nights ago rang in their head. So Ashton tried.

And again, he failed. Words were no good here; all the words they could think of felt trite and condescending. So the next morning, after they’d all finished breakfast and Orym was trying to disappear again, Ashton did something that surprised even him, dropping to one knee and putting his arms around Orym. They’d accepted hugs from the halfling before, never given one. It felt nice. At least until Orym flexed his arms and shrugged his shoulders to slip free of Ashton’s grasp, muttering, “Don’t touch me.”

Ashton isn’t hurt, or angry. How could they be, as many times as they’ve expressed the same sentiment. He doesn’t think Orym’s angry, either. Not at him, at least. Maybe just at everything, and why shouldn’t he be? They haven’t seen that kind of anger in Orym before, that directionless rage bubbling up behind his eyes, but they sure as hell know it. Ashton just hopes they find somewhere for him to put it before it eats him up. They’ve long envied Orym’s calm, as much as it’s baffled them, and Ashton hates having to watch Orym, too, be hardened by circumstance.

~

He knows Ashton was just trying to help, and up until ten minutes ago he probably would have accepted it. Welcomed it, even. Now it just feels like a distraction. He’s let himself get so distracted, trying to focus on the biggest targets because the little people were victims, too. Trying to let someone else take the lead so the decision didn’t have to be his.

And a lot of them probably were victims; they’d been lied to, manipulated, their worst traumas used against them. But they had still made a choice. Liliana, Bor’dor, the man with the locket, they’d all decided to make someone pay for how their lives had gone, regardless of who actually wronged them or what the collateral damage might be.

He looks over at Ashton, who has as much or more reason to be angry than anyone on the other side, who doesn’t steal what people can’t afford to lose, who is gentle with people who are vulnerable, who has reached out to Orym time and again, not letting him retreat into himself, much as he might like to. All that rage, but they manage to save it for the people who deserve it. And if he can do it, the rest of them have no excuse. There’s no room for him to be quiet anymore.

~

Jrusar. The Spire by Fire. The place where it all started. Ashton wonders how they made it back there, from wherever they’d been the other day. Another archdruid? Well, assuming everything goes the way it’s supposed to, he supposes they’ll find out soon enough.

Ashton approaches Orym again, this time keeping a comfortable distance. “That thing you said about picking you up when you fall, I’m gonna assume you meant that and weren’t just saying it to get me off your back.”

“I meant it. I don’t need picking up right now.”

“I know you believe that. I know you’ll keep believing it unless someone reminds you that you don’t have to.”

“I don’t know what you can do that you’re not already doing. Because what I need is for this to be over.”

“Yeah, I hear that. But if you think of anything else between now and then, you can let me know. Because I’m gonna keep asking.” If that makes them the asshole that’s fine. It’s a role they’re used to playing.

read on ao3

[masterqwertster]

🏴‍☠️ Laudna and Imogen or Ashton, whichever you prefer

Prompt Now that I've released the set-up for a "pirate" AU, let's have some fun with specific characters

Imogen doesn't usually retreat to the Green Cabin when she needs space.

The converted Captain's Quarters belongs mostly to Ashton, the rocks and soil keeping the Titan blooded genasi from going too stir crazy on a ship far from their element, and a little bit to Orym and Fearne, both keeping the plants growing within happy and healthy.

But usually her mother (who left never to return before Imogen could even remember her) isn't on her ship and necessitating a locked door to get the hint that she doesn't want to talk to her.

"Just say the word and this smuggling job never happened," Ashton says from where they lounge against their favorite dirt pile, eyes never leaving the grinding, rasping metal file they're taking to their nails.

"I do not want to murder my mother," Imogen insists, for once not entirely sure who she's trying to convince, and picks up the speed of her pacing.

"Then what do you want? Because right now, it looks like you're searching for floorboards the hard way in here," he says mildly, miss-matched eyes flicking up to track her for a moment.

Imogen groans in frustration flopping down next to the genasi. It's a fucking marvel that it feels like falling against a stack of pillows, and the brief thought of what kind of Titan bullshit they must pull to make it so wanders through her mind.

"I think what I want is for her to respect that I'm the fuckin' captain of this ship and not the toddler she left for whatever the fuck she thinks she's doin' that's gonna fix the whole mind readin' mess better than my circlet does," Imogen finally vents.

"Can't really help with that," Ashton shrugs, putting the file down on a spread cloth and picking up a bottle of rock polish. "Mind shit is yours and Letters's wheelhouse."

"I know. And even then, it's not like we can force people to change their minds. Plus she's probably better at it than me anyways," Imogen complains. "I just– It should not be too much to ask that she look at me and see an adult capable of makin' my own decisions, ya know? 'Cause I am capable. Got a whole ship to call my own to prove that I'm so capable."

"Laudna needs to find more words to describe you than 'capable' if you're going to start in on it too," Ashton muses.

"You take that back," she says in all mock seriousness as she shoves their arm for the slight against her girlfriend, equally gratified and annoyed when they choose to sway with the force that couldn't actually move them.

"I don't think I will," he deadpans, soldiering on before she takes it into a spiraling distraction of faux pettiness. "You want her to see something other than what she thinks she sees, you're going to have to shock her. Hard. Like the mutiny, when the fucker realized I could have sunk this ship the moment I decided I was fine going down with it."

Imogen shudders at the memory. The bloody battle of the mutiny had been scary enough for a back country witch-girl that barely knew what she was doing. But she'll never forget that moment when Ashton stalked across the deck for the then-captain. How the planks groaned as if Ashton's considerable weight was even greater still. How the sea was smooth and the air still under storming skies in that moment, all under the control of the eidolons answering Ashton's call. They hadn't known Ashton was Titan of blood back then, but there was certainly no denying in that moment that the ship's luck, it's fate, was in Ashton's hands. And he wasn't doing anything he hadn't been forced to do before to bring it there.

But...

"I have no clue what would shock her enough to understand that I'm not the helpless little girl she abandoned," Imogen laments.

"You could get hot and heavy with Laudna in the middle of the deck," Ashton blandly suggests.

"...You've been hangin' out with Fearne and Chetney too long," Imogen chokes out after processing that suggestion. "I'm not subjectin' Laudna to- to voyeurism just to get my mom off my ass!"

"I dunno. She might be into it if Pâté's anything to judge by."

"Sh-shut up!" Imogen blushes furiously.

The asshole laughs at her.

"So definitely not Plan A," he continues blithely. "Could always murder the shit out of the next problem we come across. Nothing like being bathed in the blood of your enemies to break a sense of innocence."

Still not great, but definitely better than dragging Laudna into that.

"Maybe. I think it might be best to workshop it around," Imogen hesitantly agrees.

"Sure. Your problem, your choice. We'll be there."

That's what Imogen likes about this crew: everyone handles problems in their own ways, but they also have each other's backs. Always.

[littledoggy-girlcollar]

Oh my god dude, you can't just say "Jade is the fighter and Kit is the paladin" without going into some more intense detail about that!!!!

(my personal HC has been Jade is an Oath of Devotion Paladin who switches what her devotion is, and Kit is a Champion Fighter who takes levels in Paladin later...)

augh ok so. i'm gonna start with a base of thinking that for most characters, a mutli-class build probably makes the most sense for a lot of them (for instance boorman's generally seen as a rogue-type because of things he's mentioned about his past, but he doesn't really take part in certain classic rogue activities (being sneaky, has a huge sword) so it could also be argued that he's more of a melee fighter type with some rogue or bard charisma skills, or vice versa) but for the sake of argument we're gonna stick with one class with the presumption that they're all fairly low level (with the exceptions of willow and boorman, but we're not really talking about them here so they aren't really relevant).

some of this is also going to rely on outer knowledge and conjecture on things like what the fuck the blood of the six is.

i don't know if you watch critical role at all, but liam o'brien's current character orym is kind of a perfect example of what a fighter devoted to a) a cause and b) their party can look like. brian murphy's gerard of greenleigh over on d20's neverafter is also a great example of what a fighter can look like when they're concerned about protecting/helping their party members in battle instead of tanking. i feel like this fits in pretty well with jade's character and how she conducts herself in a lot of battles, whereas towards the end of the season....kit very much does not. but we'll get to her in a second.

on jade's part, i think a lot of it has to do with how her training has progressed. the comparison of fighter to knight can be a bit reductive towards both sides of it, but for ballantine specifically i think it works pretty well - the knight is dedicated to serving their cause and doing it well, but they aren't necessarily looking to...."make that anyone else's problem," let's say (in terms of looking at a paladin's oath as a kind of "light side" to a warlock's pact). jade is a talented sword wielder, and she is very devoted to serving her cause (which, at the start of the series, is very much the crown/throne, with a dash of "gay for the princess" thrown in), but she DOES want to leave to train to be a proper knight. not knowing much about the world, i would say that with her express interest being in going to join the legion to come back to be a knight in tir asleen (presumably), this doesn't really count as that "something more/someone else's problem," and this is fairly standard practice for a lot of knights. i also think a lot of her strive for something else can be given to straight characterization - going by the character creation formula, this could be attributed to her "background" as an orphan, ward, etc., where she's trying to prove herself in a way that she can recognize in others (ballantine, the whole story of sorsha and madmartigan, etc). plus, with the way we see her allegiance shift over the series from the crown/sorsha/tir asleen to kit specifically...if jade is a paladin, she certainly wouldn't have an oath yet. overall, the specific ways in which she devotes herself to things reads to me more as a fighter with something to prove than as a "core" aspect of her personality, though this could certainly change. i'm not totally sure what subclass i would give her, but i wouldn't put battlemaster out of the question.

to me, a paladin oath is something that a character has a near wholistic devotion to, something that directly complements their existing skills and personality. from a general standpoint, switching oaths doesn't make much sense to me - i feel like it'd be more likely for a paladin that wants to switch focus or expand to go for a multiclass than an oath change. this is definitely situational - oathbreaker is a choice for a reason, and i could totally see something happening to a devotion paladin that makes them go redemption or vengeance. but in any case, aside from the oath itself complementing skills already available, there is something about being a paladin that speaks to me as being intrinsic to a character's being - it requires looking at something, whether an idea or an entity, and fully devoting yourself to it. and that can absolutely be worked on or grown into down the line, anyone is capable of developing that, and i know the way i described it doesn't sound that dissimilar from marriage, but at the point we are in the story now...the only one i personally see fitting this is kit.

which is weird! because one of the first things we know about kit is that she wants to leave! she wants to run away, and she doesn't necessarily have a plan or something she's running towards but she's thought about and talked about it enough that jade knows about it.

but...

immediately after, airk gets taken. and she is immediately devoted to the sole purpose of getting him back. despite my tags on your post, i do think there were a couple of moments where kit could have stood to slowing down for a second (the wildwood comes to mind - specifically in wanting to move so fast that she kinda just tells everyone who she is and behaves rashly, which backfires, instead of taking a second to think things through). but even beyond kit not being wrong about her focus, i believe she would have been like that regardless of the perceived time constraint. i think she would have been like that if jade got taken from the castle by bone reaver forces. i do not think she would have been like that if graydon had been taken lmao.

as it stands now/at the start of the show, the thing kit is devoted to is the people she cares about. like with jade, i don't think she would have an oath before leaving on the quest, but i DO think she already had the baseline "looking for something greater" in terms of proving herself (mostly to sorsha at this point) to start getting into the first levels of a paladin class.

this is where the meta shit starts coming in. this is so many fucking words i'm so sorry.

so. bavmorda. fey. blood of the six. they KNOW we d&d bitches love our fucked up bloodlines this feels like a targeted attack.

here is the entirety of info i could find on the blood of the six: "the blood of the six is a bloodline of strong, but corrupt, sorcery... six fays betrayed the mothers to serve the dark power." the line continued, bavmorda found out she was of the bloodline, therefore sorsha kit and airk are also. quote taken from wiki. obviously this gives me a lot of headcanon power.

i think airk being taken was circumstance. i think if kit had been a little faster about saying bye to jade, or if she had decided to not do so at all, she could have been the one taken (if anything in the show contradicts that or says they were looking specifically for airk, lmk, my memory of ep 1 is a bit fuzzy lol). from what i can tell they wanted someone with a link to the wyrm (bavmorda was part of its order or whatever the fuck), and the blood of the six likely had something to do with it.

this gives kit a direct line to magic, something that paladins utilize but tend to gain at a slower rate than primary spellcasters. obviously a direct connection to magic isn't required, since a paladin is going to be swearing to a deity or a fey or whatever that would then grant them further powers, but it certainly doesn't hurt. of course, neither jade or kit use magic, so this argument can get pretty wibbly, but honestly if you were an orphan knight/a gay princess interested in swordfighting her "best friend" would you think you had magic? probably not. no i am not thinking abt the homoeroticness of lay on hands, go away.

while kit doesn't start out with an oath, i think she ends the season with one. the cuirass in particular feels like a paladin artifact to me (for every theory i've seen of why it works - using it for a good cause and not greed? mjolnir-style worthiness? the wearer's belief in themself? the belief of the person that puts the lux in? wow. and then it has built-in features that allow the wearer to protect the wearer's party? come on). but in terms of moments.....

i've discussed the paladin's oath being a reaching out to something greater and an intrinsic part of the paladin's character, and paladin-ness in general being a wholistic devotion to a cause. an oath doesn't have to be planned, it can be a spontaneous moment of utter certainty and connection. and kit absolutely has a moment like that.

it's when she's standing at the edge of the world, kneeling with her forehead pressed to elora's, with jade standing in the background.

(sorry i just went and rewatched the scene and bitch. oh my god. "my fear doesn't get to decide, it doesn't get to define me. i'm not giving it the power, i'm giving it to you. i have never believed in anything my whole life...i believe in you" HELLO. first off that's a paladin oath if i've ever heard one second why do you two look like you're about to kiss? why is jade framed in the background like that? she's in focus and then kit and elora stand up and she's not anymore what am i supposed to do with this what the fuck. literally staring into each other's eyes at the end of the world oh my god. i'm a tanthamore girlie but jesus christ. JADE KNOWS WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN THIS IS THE GAYEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. KILORADE FOR THE WIN 20WHENEVER THE FUCK)

i don't think that the thing kit swore to was elora, but in this moment, she is elora's sworn protector. and what elora needs to do is go over the edge, and what kit needs to do is help her. kit literally turns them so that elora's back is to the edge and she goes over first. elora goes, kit follows what is at the very least a representation of her oath, and jade follows her. knight follows her paladin follows her sorcerer. somehow this is about to turn into kilorade propaganda so i'm gonna cut myself here.

i have a couple of oaths for kit in mind based on some uh...other theories i've talked about and how those theories might work in a fake season 2 that i've made up in my head, so i might talk about those separately if anyone's interested cause this got far too long lmao.

[willowbirds]

✨I’m gonna make this and no one can stop me!!✨

I decided to listen to the first episode of campaign 3 again because I had nothing else to do and I realized that Bell’s Hells are actually a bit different from where they first started.

It’s of course character development and the players getting comfortable playing their new characters, but I thought about how much the characters have changed from episode 1 all the way to now.

Obviously not every character has been through the same amount of growth throughout to campaign so far, but these are some of the things I personally noticed.

(Feel free to add in case I missed something. This is just what my brain has observed)

Ashton

Then:

- Was distrustful

- Only did things for money

- Wasn’t sure how to feel about FCG

Now:

- Would murder anyone for FCG

- Greatly cares for their friends

- Is willing to give people a chance (but if you fuck it up you are not getting a second one)

- Most likely has abandonment issues

Laudna

Then:

- Living life to fullest and having fun

- Is not actually as scary as she seems

- Probably alright being a little off putting

Now:

- Is dealing with so much trauma and is trying to cope with it

- Doesn’t want anything to happen to the first person that actually gave her a chance in years

- Is actually really scary and maybe doesn’t want to be?

FCG

Then:

- Little ball of sunshine

- No thoughts, head empty

- Wants to help anyway they can

Now:

- Is having an existential crisis because their whole life was a lie

- Is now slowly dealing with burnout, but doesn’t know how to handle it

- Is not only dealing with his trauma, but his friends trauma as well (It’s taking a number on him)

- Is still coming to terms with the fact that he might actually be sentient and a living creature

Imogen

Then:

- Is more shy and tries to hide herself

- Soft spoken

- Doesn’t like swearing

- Doesn’t know how to feel about all the new voices in her head now that she’s traveling with more people

Now:

- Is more assertive (with a soft voice still)

- More confident and vibrant, but still stays quiet when need be

- Literally swears every other sentence

- Is a badass and also terrifying

Fearne

Then:

- Does things because she feels like it

- Is here for the chaos

- Is full of love and support

Now:

- Is still very similar, but she’s trying to figure things out

Orym

Then:

- Parent of the group

- There to protect others (He’s a guard so it makes sense)

- Seems well put together

Now:

- Is dealing with the grief of loosing his husband

- Is paranoid that something could happen to the group

- Is starting to lean back and be an older sibling rather then a parent

Chetney

Then:

- Crazy old gnome man

- Silly goofy werewolf (Recognize the Alpha)

- Is a bit lonely

Now:

- Is still a silly old gnome werewolf

- Genuinely cares about his friends even though he may seem cruel

Dorian

Then:

- Cheerful bard having a good time

- Cares deeply for his friends

- Is a dork

Now:

- Is a runaway prince

- Just wants to be free

- Doesn’t want to be something he’s not

TL;DR

Traumatized and neglected people from across Exandria felt lost and alone, but found a group of weirdos like them. Now they can all grow and learn to be themselves without fear.

(The fact that so much development has already happened in less then 30 episodes is amazing. They all bring out the best in each other.

And because Bell’s Hells are so genuine and caring towards weirdos and others who don’t fit in, it lead them to being manipulated by someone who used them for their own personal gain without a care for the Hells’ wellbeing.)

They’re just a bunch of weirdos, and weirdos have to stick together.

[fauncalloway]

I’m not so sure Dorian “I once made a deal with a betrayer god that cost me my alignment in order to protect my friends” Storm is just gonna ignore the fact that Bertrand and Imogen left him to look out for Orym out front by himself. Whatever happens next week, you bet your ass Dorian “Trust Issues” Storm is gonna have some words with some folks and I cannot wait.

[kristinering-actress]

Fuck this is weird.

Ashton was used to being the irresponsible one. At the Crook house, he was the one who couldn’t find a steady job and wandered around from tavern to tavern rustling up spare coins however they could. With the nobodies, he was just the brute who hit things, the one stupid enough to get caught—the one who needed to be left behind.

It definitely wasn’t like that with Bell’s Hells. Somehow, he ended up grounding the others. It wasn’t like they had to change, that was the weird part. Ashton was exactly the same, he’d just ended up in a group with the strangest people in Emon. Sure, there were some who weren’t that far from the social norm. Orym for sure kept the Hells from getting into too much trouble, and FCG was more than happy to try and emotionally dissect people. But when you’ve got an unstoppable klepto, the world’s most dangerous grandpa, and a walking corpse, there’s just a point where you decide to keep your own chaotic instincts on a shorter leash. 

“Doesn’t help that none of us can crime the way you can Ashton.” The chuckle broke him out of the train of thought.

“Huh?” They had been staring so hard at Fearne trying again to take Eshteross’s pocket watch that Imogen had managed to startle him.

“You were thinking pretty loudly.” Fuck, that’s right. He hadn’t thought about it, but Imogen was crazy too, in her own way. If you weren’t close to her, Imogen would seem like an everyday farmgirl. Maybe a little too into horses, but everybody’s got a thing. You learned pretty quickly that she definitely wasn’t just like everyone else. The poor girl had everybody’s thoughts in her head all the time. Must've been torture, especially around these chucklefucks.

“Y’all aren’t that bad. Chetney gets a little hard to deal with when he’s doing his thing with Fearne but other than that you get most of what I get. Everyone around here is pretty open with their thoughts.”

“God, that geezer’s gonna give himself a stroke or something if he doesn’t give up the ghost on that one.” 

She chuckled a little bit, “Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if FCG keeps putting him up to it so we have to go to him for some comfort. You don’t have to read minds to know what Chet’s thinking and even we aren’t, how’d you put it, weird enough to enjoy that knowledge.”

“Nah. Letters doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. They wouldn’t even think about setting us up like that.”

“Pretty sure they don’t have any bones in their body, but sure.” The two shared a laugh before Ashton shifted his weight to be facing her head-on. 

“Hey, let me know if I’m bothering you, okay? I don’t enjoy having myself in my head half the time, so I can’t imagine it’s fun for you.”

“Half the stuff you think about you end up saying anyway, so I’m pretty sure you don’t need to apologize to me any more than you do to the rest of the Hells.”

“God, why did we end up going with that?” He snorted and shook his head. “We really couldn’t come up with anything better?”

“Laudna was really stuck on honoring Bertrand, and I’m not about to stop her from doing whatever she thought was right concerning the dead. But I don’t think the name’s that bad, once you get used to it.”

“That applies to Laudna, too.” That was enough to elicit a laugh from both of them. Laudna was quite the character and frankly, even if she was in the typical physical state she’d probably still be so. But you liked her as soon as you met her, practically. She was just so uniquely herself that it put you at ease. No airs, no hiding anything, nothing. Laudna was a simple soul. 

Ashton continued, “Do you think the two of you would have been friends, even if all,” they gestured around, “of us weren’t so fucked up?”

“Oh,” she paused a second. “Well, I’d like to think so. It’s not like I was swarmed by friendly faces before, anyway. But Laudna is just so…herself. Even if I’m not in her head, she just makes me comfortable to be around her.”

They stared at the purple-haired woman for a moment, just blinking. “Did you just pull that from my head?” 

 “It’s hard to tell sometimes. I heard you thinking it, but I agree with it.” Imogen’s head fell in her hands. “It probably sounds like I’m just trying to tell you what you want to hear, doesn’t it. This is why I don’t like being around too many people, I know y’all don’t want me in your heads.” She lifted her head and turned away from him. Before Ashton could respond, she walked back into the swarm of Bell’s Hells as Eshteross was scolding Fearne.

Fuck

[staggeringsmite]

HELLO! just finished properly listening to your (amazing!) corruption arc playlist! I have many thoughts, and so I wanted to ask you about specific moments and/or characters that you associate with songs (as mentioned in your tags), as I am simply SO intrigued. (did you have certain songs that were added for certain character(s)? were any songs for specific what if's? etc.) also, please consider this a free pass to ramble about anything related to the playlist that you wish. it is SO excellent!!

AHHHH!! thank you jade (both for the compliment and the free space to yell about my thoughts here because when i get playlist brainrot i get it Bad <3) // the playlist in question

i think i'm genuinely going to do a song-by-song thoughts below the cut, but here are some overview thoughts/associations if you don't wanna read all of that or don't have the time!

overall this started with athena by nova twins! i thought the sp*der imagery and overall vibe was great for a more sinister look at the wacky (mostly) chaotic neutral party as they are, just going full lolth. i wanted the pacing to be semi-slow and then drop into the more rock-heavy reckless villain-y section before moving into a (?) bittersweet? i guess? end that feels a bit more like a question mark of if it was worth it.

i think this party is full of extremely interesting motivations to side with an evil power for their own gain/the benefit of the people they care about, and each one of them has a very complex relationship with that so things spun wildly out of control as a thought about this.

for songs i associate with specific characters here's an overview, but you'll notice there aren't a lot for fy'ra rai or orym which i get into a bit more in the song-by-song:

all: i come with knives, into the spin, steady/steady, control, bad dreams / lolth: million years, athena, diggers / dariax: diggers, plenty, hollow / dorian: athena, grenadine, dangerous / fearne: plenty, you should see me in a crown, black wave / fy'ra rai: home / opal: home, grenadine, black wave, you should see me in a crown / orym: i'm not calling you a liar, dangerous

song-by-song >:)

1. i come with knives (acoustic) - this song, zoowee, so i went with the acoustic version because i think it's a nice slow but sinister start and it very much gave me the feeling of whenever you begin as a character to question taking this kind of power, that is a Source yes that you can do whatever with but is rooted in temptation and associated with evil, is there any real justification for that which is not in some part selfish. "i come with knives and agony to love you" if that isn't the chosen ones to a T in their overall reasoning for even considering a deal with lolth. and as much as that may be rooted in care, and wanting to be strong and powerful enough to protect the people they care about, it is a painful way to love when you really choose that path once and for all.

2. into the spin - this one is based on "slow climb but quick to descend" and i love the instrumentation as a part of the overall vibe, but it's about sowing the seed here. planting even a hint of consideration in accepting the power of the circlet and lolth's words is going to need time for the person to mull it over, but once it's on it is On baby.

3. million years - this is what i mean by All In Baby, and while it isn't the playlists narrative point of anyone actually accepting the power for good, it is a glimpse intended to shake things up after an 8 minute slow start with the first two songs, and this is all about lolth who is a Chaotic Evil entity, who is a reckless and hauntingly destructive force <3

4. home - "everything you made will end up broken" i think this song to fy'ra rai is more of an omen, of everything that she cannot fix but wants to, knowing that she cannot make choices for the group and seeing the potential path they could wind up on and knowing that fundamentally if they go that way it is their decision no matter how much it will hurt her - for opal there is SOMETHING about the tone of this song that feels very much like her, and the complete lack of care it seems to have to rattle off mundane things to the intimate drama of the place, to omens, to demands/declarations i think it shows her personality well and how that pairs with a chaotic neutral entity being offered something like the power of the circlet

5. steady, steady - idk if this is necessarily everyone but the mix of you know when you're ready and i am ready to be the one, this is the song about taking the leap and grabbing for power and/or fy'ra rai and orym's feelings of diving in with them or resisting/leaving them

6. diggers - for lolth this is just the consistent "i've been waiting for you" in the bg which i found fun and disconcering but also i think this is the perfect party and perfect storm for her to convince someone to use the circlets power >:) - for dariax! it seems with what we know he doesn't really know that he is a divine soul sorcerer? unless that is a show he is putting up. still, i feel like him carrying the circlet is Very interesting as someone with a divine bloodline who is in a way being given/chosen for that type of power holding onto this artifact born from evil and perhaps being tempted by it & i think this song works as an interesting back and forth for him with the strange double-entity grab for him in a way

7. athena - truly just a banger that fit the vibes wayyyy too well and started this whole thing, it's loud and reckless and out for blood babey <3 - i think i associate it with dorian mostly because i also associate it with lolth and he is the closest to really taking that leap in canon (and also probably the first one the go if we're following this playlist like a story with everyone/most everyone going corrupt, though it can be read truly infinite ways these are just compiled songs) i think it has a certain flair and appeal that just makes me Feel like it's the song that would play the second dorian puts the circlet on (which! fun fact! decreases your charisma by 2! have fun beloved bard!) - i think it's a very intense conversation

8. i’m not calling you a liar - okayokayokay it's orym thought time bc there are sooo many worlds and routes for orym here and i truly have no idea where he would even end up in this hypothetical. do i think that orym loves these guys and wants to protect them? yes. do i think that he may genuinely take the pain of loving them and keep his morals by walking away and/or turning on them if they all go evil? maybe. do i think he also might love them enough to throw that away? maybe. in a party of all chaotic neutrals besides him without fy'ra rai he is surprisingly the wild card here. while they have each other and no one else, he has the teachings and wisdom of the voice of the tempest and a moral compass that does not align with theirs at all. so, something has to give! dorian's slide into chaotic neutral was natural, but i think orym would be giving up Much More of himself to let himself slide from neutral good to chaotic neutral. i have no answers only sad, sad hypotehtical questions and scenarios so i will just, leave you with "and i love you so much, i'm gonna let you kill me." - this song also comes here before the storm of the 3-5 because whatever way he goes i think orym sees it all happen before anyone else does.

9. grenadine - Do Not Tell Me You Couldn't Hear villainous opal and dorian say the lines "what a big heart i have, i'll be your savior now. what a real catch i am, all the more to pull you down." - i see this song as playful but more genuine for dorian in terms of Truly Really believing any action he does to protect his friends is justified and good to him in his eyes whereas this is a very playful song for a villainous opal - they both give off this vibe strongly though (could see this one for fearne as well but don't have a good a justification)

10. black wave - helloooooo my favorite druid and warlock?? going apeshit with power? more so than they already are on a day-to-day basis (esp given episode 6 combat)? that's what this song is about. "stumbling down the street i swear to god you don't wanna test me" - i also think they both have an interesting question with "what do i believe?" with fearne being of the feywild which is a place of considerably different moral standing to exandria and opal being so young that she doesn't have the world figured out at all <3 terrifying and upsetting when you get into those questions on a corruption arc <3

11. you should see me in a crown - okay i knooooow this one is on the dorian playlist BUT vibes for my brutal babes <333 something about opal’s whole personality and fearne confronting the mirror self But eventually choosing/heading down the path anyway?? impeccable i love it there’s very few other thoughts here

12. control - OKAY not only does this song Fuck but i put it as party wide because i think it transitions nicely into the end of the mix which is more of the “questioning this decision after going all in but not being able to turn back/was it all worth it in the end?” part - i mostly love the “though i like the idea of providence... i’m in love with control” repeated because! i think the circlet is very interesting in that it has been iterated many times over that though it has connections to lolth and she has some claim/twisted abilities with it, it IS just a power source. so, the idea of going all in and accepting this power is an incredibly interesting dilemma of “who’s in charge here? did you really put it on/would you have without these dreams and lolth’s influence? are you really in control?” i think this song really represents that admission/delusion of control in this situation.

13. plenty - okay this song in any context is just my Feywild/Faerie Vibe song so i think this trails back to my feelings about fearne leaning into that different set of fey morals along a corruption arc, and as for dariax i think this is about abundance! following through that mixture of divine power source and chaotic evil god origin over dariax and his chaotic history of vast and varied experiences in emon, i think this very much befits a corrupt version of him.

14. dangerous - this song makes me insane, and the first reason i put it on the mix was the “the dead are true believers. rest assured. we are all believers” really just made me think of a terrible and cinematic moment of them discovering the circlet with the dead aboard the ship ESP in the context of this playlist’s narrative where that was the point they were destined to claim its power and go through their corruption arc - “how does it feel to be your own deceiver?” is the main reason and feeling as for why i made this a dorian song as well in line with “don’t worry i would do anything for my friends.” bc i personally find dorian’s corruption arc to be disillusioned with his own intentions and takes a lot of convincing himself that taking this power for his friends is noble in the scope of this group’s collective morals and self-interest in keeping each other safe and prosperous so <3

15. hollow - woowee dariax corruption, at least in this scope, i think is very frightening to me in that i think he’s going full maximalist, abundant, greedy, impulsive chaotic evil if we’re realllly leaning into a villain arc but still many of those things if we’re just going “this group is the only thing that matters and i’ll do anything for them no matter the cost” - i also think this song has a tone of resentment towards this? apprehension a bit? recognizing that this is how the person singing is but not entirely enjoying or feeling justified in it? as impulsive as dariax is, i think he cares A Lot, and is even a character i could see pulling a reverse dorian and going chaotic good in a different story than we’re in? “so simple when i was younger” and “i’d be a dancer of a different tune” really give me angsty dariax vibes in the height of his corruption arc

16. bad dreams - “don't you worry about your bad dreams cause I'm not in them. don't you worry about what change brings cause you can't stop it.” WOOF i don’t know that this one really needs to be explained but it’s the climax and the descent all in one of the party/corrupted individual being too far gone in their decision to step back or be saved. i think the tone of the song lends itself well to a mixture of uncaring but also giving some question to if they regret it or not based on the narration of the crowd against them.

[awaytobeunshaken]

Summary:

Seeing Ashton with someone else drives Orym to admit to his own feelings.

Something in Orym burns as he listens to the activity behind him. They could at least try to be subtle. The constant flirtation was one thing; sure, they had more important things to think about, but Orym could hardly blame them for trying to take their minds off of everything that was happening. But this is just irresponsible. They were supposed to be taking the next watch, and Orym knows that Ashton, at least, tends to take a bit more sleep than the rest of them. Granted, it was marginally better than if they were going at it during the watch, but it’s still foolish of them to be wearing themselves out like this.

Orym is still stewing when Ashton approaches him later to relieve him of duty. Maybe that’s why he snapped. “You sure you’re up for it? Doesn’t sound like you were getting much sleep over there.”

“None of your business how I choose to entertain myself as long as I’m in fighting shape in the morning. And I will be.” Curled up under the covers, though, Orym thinks maybe he should have just stayed up after all, because sleep didn’t want to come. Ashton’s and Deni$e’s voices carry on the breeze. “—no one forcing him to listen—”, “—not usually like this—”, “—you think he might—” And Ashton’s right. This isn’t like him. He’s better than this, or thought he was. But thinking of Ashton with Deni$e pierces something deep inside Orym’s chest, some little spark of jealousy that he didn’t realize he had the capacity for anymore until it awoke. Whatever’s going on between them feels casual, superficial, but that doesn’t make Orym feel any better. It might make it worse; it’s suddenly hard for Orym to picture Ashton behaving any differently toward anyone. And here he is standing on that precipice of daring to open his heart again, when it all might be futile in the end.

And yet he’ll take whatever Ashton might be willing to offer, no matter how fleeting. Because while Ashton’s heart might be fickle, his person is anything but. He thinks of Ashton carrying him to his cabin on the skyship, joining him on the deck later to offer whatever comfort he can. Ashton holding the front line with him in every battle and Ashton reminding the rest of the group whose side they were on. 

But Orym can’t pretend he hasn’t seen Ashton appreciating him, as well. And Ashton wasn’t the type who would make a first move, put themself out there for rejection when it was something they were so fearful of in the first place. And he had no reason, or at least not enough of one, to realize how Orym felt when Orym’s only just managed to admit it to himself. Either way, they deserve better than Orym snapping at them.

“Ash?” And he probably looks pathetic standing there, hair mussed and clothes rumpled from tossing and turning. “Can we talk?”

And that was all it took for Ashton’s joking expression to grow serious. “Hey, Deni$e, fuck off for a minute.”

“Wow, okay, I see where I rank,” she muttered, but made herself scarce on the opposite side of the camp.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You’re entitled to your privacy and you didn’t deserve to have me yelling at you.”

“It’s cool.” Ashton puts a hand on his shoulder and it’s everything Orym can do not to melt into the touch. “We’re all kind of on edge lately.”

“It’s… there’s more to it than that.” Gods, he can feel his stomach curl in on itself as he prepares his confession. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you properly how much I—” Appreciate? No. Rely on? Not quite. Need… oh, hells no. “—how important… it is to me… to have you here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ashton chuckles. “It’s not like we’re gonna run off together or something.”

“No.” He returns the laugh, but his heart isn’t in it. “I wasn’t worried about that. It’s more that…” Of course it was going to come to this. Of course Ashton, who has so much trouble acknowledging that anyone can care for him, would need to have it spelled out. “I kind of let my… feelings for you… get the better of me,” he chokes out, eyes carefully turned toward the ground. 

“Fuck.”

“I know, this is probably the worst way, the worst time to tell you, but—”

“I don’t mind that you told me, I just… what do I do with that? I don’t get how any of this shit works.”

Orym cocks his head to the side. “You didn’t seem to have much trouble with it an hour ago.”

“Because that’s different. Fucking is easy. It’s, y’know, the feelings part. I mean, I’m trying not to be a dick about it, but…”

Orym takes a seat next to Ashton and places a tentative hand atop theirs. “Look, I’m not telling you this to get you all mixed up over it. I know it’s hard for you to get close to people and I’m not trying to make things more difficult for you and I’m not expecting anything from you…” And so why had he bothered to say anything? Just in case? When they’d only known each other a few months? It had taken him longer to admit to Will that he was in love with him and they’d known each other all their lives.

“Good. Because I don’t even know what that would look like.” Ashton’s eyes are fixed straight ahead and Orym can only take in his profile as he continues to talk. “Unless you do mean fucking. But I don’t really think so.”

A blush rises to Orym’s cheeks as he recalls some of the thoughts he’s had along those lines as well. “I mean, that could be part of it.” 

“And then what? I don’t know how it feels to want something else. I don’t know what people are talking about when they say they do.”

Orym tries to parse his own feelings, tries to sort between attraction and friendship and love, and he’s not quite sure where the lines fall anymore. Maybe Ashton’s point of view isn’t so foreign after all. “So what do you feel? Or want?”

“I like you; I like having you around. And I feel closer to you than I have to anyone in a while. And what I want is what I always have, for people to fucking stick around. And why would you, if I can’t be the person that you need?”  

“You already are, though, in a lot of ways. You’ve seen me in some of my darkest moments, the ones I’ve tried not to let anyone see, as much as I wish they would. All of this would have been so much harder without you.” 

Ashton sits up, their jaw working like there’s something they’re not quite sure how to phrase, but they reconsider and settle back down, eventually laying a slow, awkward arm across Orym’s shoulders. “Is… this good?”

Orym leans in close, resting his head against Ashton’s chest, letting Ashton’s embrace envelop him. “Real good. Is it okay if I fall asleep here?” He can feel Ashton’s chin brushing the top of his head as he nods. “If that makes it easier.”

“Well, ain’t that just the cutest shit I ever seen?” Orym’s eyes are already closed, but he raises a. middle finger in the direction of Deni$e’s voice, and Ashton’s choked laugh tells him they’re doing the same, and he lets the mental image lull him to sleep as a smile spreads across his face.

[awaytobeunshaken]

Angstpril 2023 - Day 3: No Escape

The desert night sky spread wide before Ashton as he settled down with his drink for a spot of solitude away from the continuing activity behind him. It was good to be able to see the stars properly, with Ruidus settled back into its usual position above the horizon. It seemed dimmer since they’d broken the tether to it, but that was probably down to its constant flaring just before. Either way, it felt good to be able to nearly ignore it.

A shiver ran through Ashton’s body; they’d shucked their vest to have something to sit on, but that only left them more vulnerable to the cool night air. 

“If you’re gonna wander off from the fire, you oughtta at least come prepared.” A bundle of fabric landed in his lap and he looked up to see Lita, Orym’s sister, fastening another one of the cloaks she’d chucked at him. “All partied out?”

Ashton shrugged. “I wouldn’t call it a party, exactly, but yeah. Not a fan of crowds.” They tilted their head towards Lita. “Same?”

She shrugged. “A bit. I said I was gonna take a walk and Orym asked me to bring you this. Wanted to make sure you didn’t freeze your ass off.”

“Oh. Well, thanks. Uh… to him, too, but I guess later I can…” Fuck, he’d been running with the same people for so long he forgot how to talk to strangers. Or maybe it was just the stress.

“So what’s up with you two?” 

“I mean. We just spent the last two weeks marching our way back here. Including overpaying to hitch a ride on a dodgy-ass ship. The—the three of us had plenty of time to get to know each other. I don’t think there’s anything up with that.”

“Yeah?” She settled into the sand beside him. “That’s not what he seems to think.” At Ashton’s panicked expression, she clarified, “I mean, he didn’t say anything. But the way he looks at you, or when he talks about you… the only other person I’ve seen him look at like that was Will.”

“Fuck.” Ashton was still way too sober for this; they snatched their bottle out of the sand and took a drink. The normally pleasant fire of the alcohol seemed to choke them going down. “Fuck!” He’d noticed those eyes on him, hoped maybe the look was just one of friendly concern, or maybe he was overthinking things to flatter himself. Either way, he was trying to ignore the implication, but now she’d backed him into a corner. He rubbed a fist across his forehead.

“Hey, you’re your own person. I’m not saying you have to do anything with this information. I’m just saying that if it’s not going anywhere, you’d better fucking go easy on him. Because I know how to do everything that he does.”

“I would never want to do anything to hurt him. You don’t need to threaten me for that. I’m also notoriously bad at people and would probably fuck it up.” They could almost feel Orym’s eyes on them now, that lazy gaze he’d seen so many times across the deck of a ship, that they’d desperately hoped didn’t mean anything, would be something they could ignore. That Ashton himself would be the only one who could be hurt by the situation.

ao3

“Fuck up which part? Dating him, or turning him down?”

“You want an answer to that…” he passed the bottle over to her, “You’re gonna need to take a drink of this and ask me in the form of a ‘what the fuck is up with that?’ question.” She snatched the bottle away and took a long swig. “All right. You are dodging this issue way too hard for someone who doesn’t have some feelings of their own. So what the fuck is up with that?”

She was too good at this. Orym must have taught her the game. “I can’t give him what he had. It’s not me. And if that’s where he’s at, well… I want things to be square between us.”

Lita laid back to stare at the whole of space laid out before her. Ashton might have joined her but they wanted to be able to get up again; sand wasn’t exactly the best surface for leverage. “It wasn’t some kind of epic, written in the stars kind of romance, you know.” Ashton turned to face her. “It was just, normal. Frustratingly so, at times. They were absolutely inseparable as kids, you know, and then they hit around fourteen or so and could barely stand to be in the same room with each other.” She laughed. “Dad actually thought they’d had a falling out or something. Nah, they were just being teenage boys who’d grown feelings and weren’t sure what to with them, you know.”

Ashton didn’t exactly. They’d had much bigger things to be concerned with during their teenage years.

“So I guess what I’m saying is, if he likes you, it’s you, not what he wants you to be.”

Ashton stood and looked back to the gathering, where he thought he could just make out Orym’s figure against the firelight. Likes me, the words echoed in his head. That would be new. New enough that he's not quite sure what to do with it yet.