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rachelbethhines · 3 years

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Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past

While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show.

All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is.

Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.

Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing

Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’.

Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.

Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering

We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King.

For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing.

Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons.

It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.

Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her.

Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.

So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?

Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons.

The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them.

But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody.

None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning

Show don’t tell!

At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why.

We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat.

Eugene is the One in the Right Here.

Eugene’s right.

Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right.

If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs.

In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally.

But this isn’t a competent show.

But Lobster is for Poor Folk

Food history time!

Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.

Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s.

The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.

So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.

This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters.

This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted

Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?

Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now.

The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months.

I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast.

Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time.

We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago.

In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie.

Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.

Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace

I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary.

Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid.

So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review?

Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag!

People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene.

Where is Quirin, by the Way?

Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?

This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.

Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.

Lets Talk About Wasted Potential

Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.

But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel.

Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point.

You have no end of options here,

Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities.

Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.)

And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong.

And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on.

But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?

Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian.

This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft.

Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period.

So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar!

Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities.

Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series!

So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?

I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters.

I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later.

I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.)

And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins?

I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character.

So How Does Time Travel Work In This?

There are three types of time travel stories in fiction.

First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.

The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one.

Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat.

So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here?

Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then?

You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion.

Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong. Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.

What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense.

This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past

The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights.

We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated?

This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary. If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris?

Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?

Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die.

You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust.

Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel?

Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that.

So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?

I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.

Rapunzel Is Full of Shit

Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid.

Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite.

Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.

This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.

And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.

And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together.

Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story

The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then.

Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture.

Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.

Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke....

How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!

This is a Lie

No you wont.

Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.

And This is Now a Time Paradox

A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken?

In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future.

So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual.

That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide.

So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”

Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?

So What Exactly Did We All Change?

Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion.

All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know.

Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon.

Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized.

No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!

Let me explain narrative promises.

Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience.

Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on.

Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid.

A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied.

The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong.

That’s not what happened here.

Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig.

The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego.

I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple.

Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show

Speaking of breaking narrative promises....

TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film.

Way to fucking go.

To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself.

I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process.

This is the Death of New Dream

I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero.

Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.

How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?!

What the hell happened!?

Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants.

Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly.

Conclusion

This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole.

Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it.

Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want.

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #Eugene #anti-rapunzel #anti-tangled

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medumyce · 4 years

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admittedly, my first instinct was to say that zooey is chaotic good and adrian is lawful neutral, or true neutral. but here’s the thing, after my ninth or so reread: they’re both chaotic good.

it’s pretty obvious for zooey, who's incapable of lying and who values doing good above all, often at the expense of common sense, physics, and/or the law, but adrian has his moments too. his chaotic side comes out most clearly in one of the investigation scenes, when kimrean casually tosses out a comment about stealing danny’s car and going 120 mph--and it's subtle, but we know that adrian doesn't let zooey drive. therefore, even though he’s concerned with justice, he doesn’t mind breaking rules to get there. and that’s what defines a chaotic good! adrian doesn’t want to solve the case because murder is against the law, he wants to solve it because murder is wrong. in short, he's more worried about the general good than the details. consequences from broken rules are tolerable; flaws in the system and society are what needs to be fixed.

where i misread him, at first, was his completely logical personality. logic and rules sometimes line up, but adrian only cares about logic: at the very end, when they're in the hospital, he's confused by--and almost refuses to accept--the fact that zooey can move his dead leg, but he can't. logic is adrian's entire worldview, and he plays nicely in that sandbox. rules, however, are meant to be broken. adrian seems like he would be the kind of person to care about rules, but he just doesn't. minutes after the twins discover that zooey can still control their injured leg, adrian is breaking them out of the hospital and stealing an ambulance. when danny calls to tell them that frankie lyon has been killed, adrian tells him not to call the cops. he doesn’t care about being polite, so he insults and dismisses and points out details that make people uncomfortable. he embarrasses marlow and dawes’ receptionist for playing minesweeper on the job, before scaring the young man into giving up the agents' cover. he never makes an effort to hide his disdain for ursula, and often goes out of his way to tell her exactly what he thinks about her. he has little regard for zooey’s feelings when they don’t benefit him, so he derides everything she says and is hostile to fiona both times she visits, just because zooey liked her. most memorably, he puts zooey to sleep after a fight--but that once again displays his desire to solve the damn case, and the willingness to do it through any means necessary. he sees her as an obstacle, so he removes the obstacle. yes, adrian is an asshole and he looks down on anything that he judges irrational or illogical, but his ultimate goal is still the greater good. he thinks that, because he has good intentions in mind, he gets to do whatever he needs to do to get there.

and he is a decent person where he thinks it matters. ursula comes back later that night, and he does try to kick her out, but not before giving her money for a hotel room. (he ends up letting her spend part of the night in their office anyway.) he's a decent person, but we mostly see him as an asshole, and it's probably because for most of the book, adrian is never without zooey. the problem with adrian and zooey is that they have the same energy, but in opposite directions. they don't understand each other, but while zooey is more content to live and let live, adrian feels compelled to make zooey more like him (note the chess scene; he's angered by zooey's decision to promote her pawn to a knight even though it allows her to win the game later on. he thinks it wasn't fair that she won by making a random, emotion-driven decision, but that’s an offense against logic, not an offense against any rule). he knows that they're different, but he doesn't understand why she doesn't try to be like him. still, though he doesn't admit it outright, he feels that way because he's concerned about them both. obviously, they share a body, so adrian is involved in whatever vices zooey indulges in. but i think he'd still be concerned even if they didn't share a body. he does have a moral code. killing people is bad, but they'll get over it if he insults them. ursula won't have to find her own way around the city: she can either sleep in a hotel or in the kimreans' office. there's no such thing as speed limits, as long as he doesn't hit anything. he's mean to zooey, but he still takes care of her. and he puts up with all of her bullshit, so i think he deserves a jab now and then.

thus, adrian kimrean, breaker of rules in favor of doing the right thing, is chaotic good.

#tbnbefbou #this body's not big enough for both of us #will i quit yelling about books only ~20 people have read? no never #lit

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kimmimaru · 4 years

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Yet more remake randoms.

One thing I really did enjoy about the remake was that at least two (or maybe it was the same guy, can’t be sure) infantry/security soldiers recognised Cloud. That’s one thing in the OG I got confused over, HOW did no one recognise Cloud when he would’ve been known to at least a few people. He obviously went through training, he would’ve worked with some of them, surely? I’m glad we got those moments. Also Kunsel got mentioned! I assumed they were trashing most of Crisis Core, obviously not. Judging by the posters for Banora we can assume that it exists/existed. Hojo’s mention of project G suggests the existence of Genesis at least...I’m not sure how I feel about that since I was never a massive fan of Genesis. His part in Sephiroth’s descent into madness annoyed me, he’s a big boy and can go mad perfectly well on his own lol. Hints of a possible deepground is also interesting, I mean if they have a secret base under sector 7 then maybe deepground does exist too? There’s no solid evidence of it but logically it makes sense. Although DoC has it’s issues, obviously I didn’t mind the reveal of secret bases, ShinRa is a dodgy company I don’t see why they wouldn’t have underground places full of nasty monsters. Also, the main reason I cling to DoC is because of the Vincent content tbh, Vincent is one of the main three characters I used in the OG (Cid being the other) and he’s amazing. I get people’s issues with the remake, I really do. It DOES lack the grittyness the OG had. It feels...more fantastical which is kind of annoying. If the characters didn’t swear so much I’d have thought it was a game aimed at younger audiences. As an adult playing it that grates on me. I love the characters, Cloud especially is better than I had hoped, I was worried they’d make him all soft and woobyish, I’m glad they kept his hard edges. And the fact that Cloud knows how security stuff works, like the emergency locks and how to access the computers etc is yet more hints that he’s not all he thinks he is. Pretty sure SOLDIER’s wouldn’t know half the stuff he does, they wouldn’t have any reason to. I was...disappointed to see that Sephiroth didn’t cause anywhere near as much chaos as he did in the OG. I don’t understand why they didn’t do that. That moment in the OG when you realise the doors to your cell have been opened and then you have to follow a trail of blood and you see scars on the wall from Masamune. It was...so powerful. And eerie. The dead bodies along the way and then the president lying across his desk was like; :O It was scary and intense. That scene in the remake was lame. No blood. No corpses. Just a trail of purple bubbly stuff. Yeah no I didn’t like that. Sephiroth shouldn’t give a fuck WHO he kills in his quest for power. He should have stormed through ShinRa with his sword swinging but all he did was stab the president only after Cloud got there. That scene should have been handled much better. I love the fight with Rufus though. That was actually fun, although i’m not one for dodging or blocking so I took a beating lol. And that trick with the coins just...suits him? Wasting money like it’s nothing to him. His possessiveness and all the quips he makes while fighting. Just perfect Rufus. Honestly, out of everyone (for me), they got Rufus, Reno and Cloud perfect. I do like Tseng too and Rude...i thought Rude would be somewhat more callous but it’s cute that he feeds birds from his hand. I love Reno’s anger. Don’t know why he’s so angry but it’s fun and his foul language. The fact that Rude actively saves Tifa was a bit of a surprise for me, I know in the OG Rude likes Tifa (she could break his neck if she wanted, as I’ve always thought Rude is into that, the kinky bastard) but was very shocked to see him actively interfere and save her. I need to replay it but I always thought in the OG when you fight Rude and have Tifa on your team he never actually attacks her...or maybe that was just my game? I don’t know if that was deliberate. So it is faithful to the OG if I didn’t just imagine that. Also, on the subject of Rude, did I imagine it or did he hit the button to drop the plate because Reno couldn’t do it? I know Cloud attacks Reno before he can do it but his hand hesitates. Again, may have imagined it but it looked like he hesitated so Rude did it for him. (that rockstar slide under Cloud’s sword WAS cool. Not something I would have expected of Rude but I LOVED that). Also not sure why they didn’t have Tseng slap Aerith. He does it in the OG. Maybe they were worried about the reception of a move like that? Violence against women etc. I personally didn’t mind it, it was a shocking moment and the Turks ARE supposed to be bad guys. I did notice he does raise his hand to her, looking like he’s about to back hand her but the security guard seems to pull her away before he can. In the OG I believe that Tseng’s supposed to be putting on a front? Like, it’s hinted that he didn’t do it for any other reason than the fact that he thinks Aerith SHOULD be afraid of the Turks and maybe to stop himself from getting too close to her? Either way, they could’ve and probably should’ve left that bit in. It also doesn’t give me hope for later on when they do the temple of the ancients bit and Cloud loses his mind and beats the crap out of Aerith. Somehow I don’t think they’ll put that in anymore, which is a damn shame. Honestly, I like all the tiny gestures and body language they put in. It really goes a long way to make the characters much more human. All the little smiles, the hand gestures and everything. Like having Reno restless, unable to keep still. Short, sharp, angry gestures. Constant cursing. Rude’s calmer motions, the little moments of fear they both have when one of them is injured or possibly dead (when Rude’s helicopter crashes and Reno picks up his glasses). It shows how close they are and yeah they are bad guys but I have always been against making a bad guy ‘pure evil’ and inhuman (only exception is Sephiroth in this case because he IS part alien monster). Even the Turks are human, they should feel fear, they should care about something and have motivations beyond the simple; we are bad so we will try to defeat the good guys. I don’t want pure good guys either, I want them to have flaws and failings which is why I loved the OG so much. They were all just...human. And obviously we didn’t get QUITE as much Turk actions as I would have preferred but now that we are getting it I’m pretty happy with what we have. Edit to add; my issue with the remake’s version of the plate drop is it lacked that sense of helplessness. And a lot more people seemed to have survived. Maybe if they’d added a mission to go through and help look for more survivors, have people trapped, people you can’t save etc. I wanted to feel that despair when I played it, the same feeling I got when I played Zack’s final battle in CC. You know he doesn’t survive, you fight over and over again and that feeling of knowing that no matter what you do he’s going to die anyway. I loved that. It’s so real. It shows that even a hero can’t save everyone and it’s a hard fact of life. It definitely lacked the sheer horror and evil of the act. I mean I did cry when I played it...but the end ruined it for me. Having it turn out that people are alive who should have died, kind of destroys the whole emotional aspect. There’s no real consequences to anything in the remake. And, judging by all the hints at changing fate and stuff, there won’t be in the coming parts either. Makes me really quite angry. Everyone lives and nobody dies, totally unrealistic and pointless for a game like final fantasy 7. I am silently begging square to reconsider their direction if what they’re hinting at is true and they’re going to keep Aerith alive. Please, please don’t do that. It will totally ruin the game and it’ll lose all meaning. I love Aerith but her death is a poignant, emotional tragedy and Cloud’s (or the players) helplessness is a key factor in that. If this ends with ‘and everything was fine and everyone was happy’ I’m going to puke. Anyways, will stop here. This got LONG.

#final fantasy 7 remake #remake spoilers #long post

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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The Abyss Gazes Also - Watchmen blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t read this comic yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Rorschach is arguably the most beloved character in the graphic novel.

Now anyone reading these reviews who hasn’t read the graphic novel I imagine must be slightly confused by that statement, considering I haven’t exactly been painting a very glowing picture of him. He’s misogynistic, homophobic, bigoted, violent and sociopathic. Not exactly the traits you’d associate with a ‘beloved’ character. And yet that’s exactly what he is. Out of all the characters in Watchmen, Rorschach is by far the most popular. Of course this isn’t exactly a good thing. A big reason for his popularity is because of people either missing or ignoring the satirical subtext of the character (Ted Cruz reportedly is a big Rorschach fan. Let that sink in for a moment). That’s not to say the character isn’t well written or compelling. I’ve said in the past that Rorschach is my personal favourite character simply because of how interesting I find him.

The Abyss Gazes Also explores the origins of Rorschach and I thought this would be a good opportunity to not only analyse the chapter, but to also question where this romanticised view of Rorschach may have come from.

The Abyss Gazes Also is told from the perspective of Dr. Malcolm Long. A psychiatrist assigned to evaluate and counsel Walter Kovacs, aka Rorschach. I absolutely love this setup and how it plays out. Like with Doctor Manhattan’s origin story in Watchmaker, rather than just giving us a big info dump, we get to explore the backstory through the eyes of a certain character.

Malcolm represents everything Rorschach despises. He’s part of the corrupt establishment, thinks of no one but himself and deludes himself into thinking everything will be fine so as not to upset the apple cart. (also, while not overtly stated, considering Rorschach’s extreme right wing views, I imagine the fact that Malcolm is black probably doesn’t help matters either). From the beginning we know that Malcolm doesn’t really care about helping Rorschach in any meaningful way. He just wants the fame attached with studying the mind of this infamous vigilante. And by the end he does get to fully understand Rorschach better than anyone else, but at a horrifying cost.

As Malcolm learns more about Walter’s transformation into Rorschach, we see his otherwise upbeat personality slowly dissolve as he begins to see the world from Rorschach’s point of view. I love how Alan Moore chooses to represent this. In the beginning, Malcolm’s notes are eloquent, detailed and optimistic, but as the issue goes on, the sentences start to become more broken, much darker and disjointed to the point where it actually begins to resemble Rorschach’s speech pattern. It’s a subtle illustration of Malcolm’s changing psyche. We also see him become more and more aware of the situation between America and Russia, whereas before he was very much focused inward on his career and his wife. As his perception of the world around him changes, the things he used to care about fall away. He neglects his wife and by the end his career is virtually in tatters because in the wake of potential Armageddon, none of these things matter to him anymore. Now on the one hand you could see this as some kind of comeuppance. A selfish man getting what he deserves. But it’s also deeply tragic because the point is no one should have to view the world the way Rorschach does.

Which brings us to the man himself.

The life of Walter Kovacs is... a bit of a bummer, to say the least. His mother was a prostitute who regularly abused him and he had to endure a lot of bullying and torment by sexist pricks labelling him as a ‘whoreson.’ It’s this that has contributed to his view of women (more on that later) as well as his own distorted view of sex. In the extra material, we get to read some of Walter’s psychological profile, which includes a diary entry from a younger Walter describing a nightmare he had where his mother was ‘dancing’ with a man and, upon further inspection, realises the two have been morphed together into a grotesque monster that then chases him. A literal beast with two backs, if you will.

It’s also worth mentioning that the most significant moments in Walter’s life that led to him becoming Rorschach were all sex related and involved women. Obviously there’s his mother. There’s also the job he got at a women’s clothing store, which clearly made him feel extremely uncomfortable, the rape and murder of Kitty Genovese, whose uncollected dress was used to make the Rorschach mask, and of course the murder of Blaire Roche. This I think is what led to Rorschach’s reductive view of women and also serves in some ways as a damning critique of how women are presented in comics. Every woman Walter has ever encountered has either been a helpless victim or a sexualised monster. Even Laurie, the Silk Spectre, contributes to this because of the sexualised image her mother forced onto her. In many comics, the assault or death of a woman often serves as the catalyst of a male hero’s journey, and Rorschach is the same, except it’s presented deliberately as being incredibly distorted. His relationship with women is already fraught thanks to his mother, but his encounters with Kitty Genovese and Blaire Roche serve as a way for him to justify his distorted view of reality. I particularly like the inclusion of the real life case of Kitty Genovese and the myth that over forty witnesses saw her being attacked and did nothing to help. Of course Walter seizes on this and uses it to support his worldview. We’re not even sure if the dress he uses to make the mask was actually intended for Kitty as it could just be a delusion that Walter has concocted to fit his narrative. Whereas other comics might use a woman’s pain as motivation for the male hero, here we see the male ‘hero’ use multiple women’s pain as a means to an end. A way of excusing his behaviour and justifying his actions. It’s a great reversal, exploring the sexism of the refrigerated woman trope.

What I find especially interesting is how despite his childhood, despite his right wing views and despite his reductive view of women, in his early days you could accurately describe Rorschach as a proper superhero. During the period that Walter refers to himself as being ‘soft,’ he teams up with Nite Owl and stops many criminal masterminds such as Big Figure, Jimmy the Gimmick and Underboss. You get the feeling that, had he stuck with Nite Owl, he might have grown to be a somewhat more balanced individual. (which is not to say Dan doesn’t have flaws too, but he’s far better adjusted than Rorschach is, that’s for damn sure). It’s what comes later that sends Rorschach past the point of no return. And no I’m not talking about the murder of Blaire Roche, though that was probably the final straw. I’m talking about Rorschach’s first encounter with the Comedian.

See, I don’t think Rorschach would have become a murderer if he hadn’t met the Comedian first. In his interview with Malcolm, Walter speaks of the Comedian in glowing terms, saying he’s the only one that understood how the world works. If it wasn’t for the Comedian planting the seed of nihilism in Rorschach’s head, he might have reacted slightly differently when he discovered the fate of Blaire Roche. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have reacted violently, but I do honestly think it wouldn’t have been quite so extreme.

I’ve said in a previous review how all the characters of Watchmen are technically nihilists. Rorschach and Comedian are a perfect illustration of two contrasting ways of reacting to nihilism. Namely moral absolutism versus amorality. The Comedian believes that the world has no meaning and that morality is a joke, and so uses that as an excuse to commit heinous acts for his own amusement. Rorschach is also a nihilist. After his encounter with Gerald Grice, he learns that morality and meaning doesn’t exist, but unlike the Comedian, Rorschach takes the opportunity to impose his own morality onto the world. Like ink blots on a blank canvas. The problem is with his own warped sense of reality as well as his motivation. Having discovered that Gerald had killed Blaire Roche, dismembered her and fed her to his dogs, Rorschach no longer has any interest in helping people because, in his mind, people are beyond help. He just wants to hurt and punish those that ruined the world. This isn’t justice. This is revenge. Revenge based on faulty logic. Walter says this was the day he became Rorschach, but it’s also the day he stopped being a superhero as far as I’m concerned. While his motivations and worldview was questionable before, he was at least acting for the common good. Now he’s just an angry man lashing out at the world indiscriminately.

So why do some people have this romanticised view of Rorschach? Well one reason I think is because he’s a man who lives by his own code. Whether we admit to it or not, there is a part of us that wants to see the predators of our society get what they deserve, so even though we recognise that Rorschach is going too far and that his views and beliefs are unsavoury, there’s a little voice in the back of our heads that most of us may not want to acknowledge quietly whispering ‘yes.’ Because if these are truly evil people he’s doing these despicable things to, then it must be okay, right? But then we have to ask ourselves the same question we did about the Comedian back in Absent Friends. Are we saying that the moment someone commits a crime, their life becomes forfeit? That they deserve to die? What does that say about us and our own morality? Which leads to another reason why I believe some people romanticise Rorschach. It’s because it’s easier to romanticise Rorschach rather than to acknowledge what he potentially says about us.

I love Rorschach because, as a character, he forces us to ask some very awkward and uncomfortable questions about our own morality. How far is too far? Where do we draw the line? If the misogyny, psychotic behaviour and extreme violence aren’t deal-breakers, what is? Can we really excuse these poisonous views and beliefs if the person in question is acting, supposedly, for the greater good? This is what makes Rorschach such a fascinating character in my opinion. And I’m sorry to say that if you can’t bring yourself to think about these things, then I’m afraid you just don’t understand Rorschach, or indeed Watchmen, at all.

#the abyss gazes also #watchmen #alan moore #dave gibbons #dc comics #review #spoilers

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gelatomesomeironqrow · 4 years

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Real talk ie help me understand something

I don't fully agree with the whole RWBY couples that are only real or destined to end up together because of their eye colors being the inverted versions of each other. Because from I've seen, this has only been proven true in two couples/ships. Renora and Bumbleby.

So like I'm genuinely confused and am asking, why people think Qrow and Clover are going to end up together. Because I've noticed something... did anyone else notice that Jaune's eyes are blue and Tyrian's are gold? Aren't they the inverted colors of each other? Are they supposed to end up together? No, they are enemies and while Tyrian has expressed "interest" everyone in the fandom has foregone that ship. So because of that, I can not be on board with using this eye color inversion as part of the reasoning for a RWBY ship. Does inverted colors have to mean these two characters are supposed to be together together? Why can't they just mean that they are supposed to have some kind of relationship with each other? Be it good or bad. The eye color thing, to me anyways, just means they are the exact opposite of each other.

For example:

Qrow - eye color is red. His semblance is bad luck.

Clover - eye color according to Rwby Wikipedia is teal-green. His semblance is good luck.

They are opposites of each other in every aspect. Does that mean they will end up together? Who can say, I want Qrow to be happy, if Clover makes him happy, I'll just have to hold on to my belief that IronQrow happened in the past and now they are exes. Does the fact they are opposites mean they can't just be good friends who help correct/balance out the flaws in each other? Maybe. But using this eye inversion as part of your want to make this ship a reality? It just doesn't work for these two.

Another example, going back to something I mentioned before;

Jaune- his eye color is blue. His semblance is powering other's auras with his auras.

Tyrian, his eye color is gold/yellow. His semblance, while not confirmed, is the ability to break away/through other's auras by focusing his own.

They are the exact opposite of each other and yet people don't ship them. Why not? They are obviously meant to be together because their eyes are inverted of each other right? No, this right here proves that this eye color thing only suits people when they want to prove their ship.

The whole inverted color eye thing in RWBY fanon is quite frankly ridiculous. It does not mean they will end up together, it means they are the exact opposite of each other. And yes, you may argue well Renora and Bumblby are inverted eye colors and they ended up together. But you see. There's a difference.

Ren and Nora, opposite in personality but not in semblance. They are not opposites of each other in every aspect like the examples I used above. Ren and Nora grew up together, they have taken a vow of silence to always be there for each other, they grew close and it's become clear to them that they are not meant to be with anyone else nor have they ever thought about it. They have something that binds them beyond the color of their eyes.

Yang and Blake. Same thing. Opposite in personality but not in semblance. Both have bonded over the emotional/physical abuse at the hands of Adam Taurus. They grew close over mutual interests.

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to stop anyone from liking certain ships, but I am tired of people using this eye thing to prove their ship is real.

OKAY FAIR WARNING, MY BITTERNESS IS SHOWING FOR THE REST OF THIS.

(you have been warned.)

I am also so sick of Clover and Qrow together popping up all over tumblr. It isn't my ship, to me it makes no sense. People are jumping on board with the fact that Qrow is going to join the Atlas military/Ace Ops when he is neither from Atlas or for the military. Seriously did people not watch V3 when he told James he would rather shoot himself than become a military subordinate of James. Who get this, is the general of the damn Atlas military. People trying to pick and choose certain traits from Qrow's character to fit their idea of a ship annoys me. Oh, what's that? But Clover is the only one without a partner? Did you not hear the ace ops say they aren't friends with each other? That they will work together but nothing else? How do you want Qrow to be in the Ace Ops and be with Clover? ...um like what? They are not meant to be a couple.

Okay. I'm sorry for my rant. I apologize if I offended anyone. Not my intention. I'm just annoyed with certain parts of ship fanon logic.

I'm not entirely sure if I should add tags or not for this... but then again I'm not smart soooo hello tags.

#rwby7 #rwby spoilers #rant time #don't @ me for my own opinions #you can tell me why you think it works in a respectful way but be warned #i will respond in the same manner as how you respond to my post #to each his/her/their own

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neonganymede · 5 years

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McHanzo with 20:”I think you’re just afraid to be happy” and 21 “Why are you so nice to me” I love me some angst

Sorry this took so long! Life has been a little crazy lately. Thank you for requesting and for your patience!

20. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”

21. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Hanzo’s limbs feltterribly heavy as he trudged from one end of the Overwatch base to the other. Hislegs were sore, his arms were worse, and he was fairly certain he would literallyfall apart if he had to nock one more arrow in his bow.

The away mission had beenmore than a little trying. Not only was the mission in Hanamura, but tensionshad been running high with Genji as of late. They spent most of the lastmission bickering, slinging accusations at each other and making the rest ofthe team uncomfortable. Hanzo couldn’t even remember why they were fighting orwhy it had been so important to be right.

That was his problem,usually. Always needing to be superior in every area: amongst his teammates,his tentative friends, his own brother, his relationship—

Hanzo stilled for amoment, leaning against the wall as he stared blankly down the hallway. Jesse.He’d been so wrapped up in arguing with Genji that he’d forgotten he’d also hada disagreement with his boyfriend.

He scoffed, pessimistic. If he could even call McCree his boyfriendnow. What had they even fought about? So exhausted, he struggled to recall whatit had been.

Abruptly, Hanzoremembered, and he winced at the memory. Jesse had asked if he wanted to moveinto his room or vice versa, cut down all the time they spent travelling backand forth when they both knew they’d end up in one room regardless. Usually, Jessespent the night with Hanzo; his room was the closest when they were leaving thelounge, so there they would stumble, usually half-drunk and eager to fall apartwith each other.

It would be foolish toexpect McCree to be in his room now. For all Hanzo knew, the cowboy was away ona mission, visiting with one of his many friends on the base, or just avoidinghim. Remembering the hurt and confused look on Jesse’s face when last theyspoke, Hanzo anticipated the latter.

Now even more reluctant,Hanzo trudged the rest of the way to his room. He just wanted to sleep. Sleepuntil somebody came to get him. Forever, even, if he was left alone. Why wouldanybody bother with him? He and Genjiweren’t talking, he’d dismissed Jesse without a moment’s consideration, and—

And did it even matter?Hanzo deserved this. All he could do was bring pain. His hands were made tofell his enemies, his lips to speak cruel words to bring harm to those he caredabout most. Hanzo deserved to be alone; what had he even been thinking when hejoined Overwatch? He should have just ignored Genji’s offer.

Everyone would be muchhappier, Hanzo rationalized, his mood spiraling downward. Genji would not feelthe strain of seeing his almost-murderer on a daily basis. Jesse could give histime and attention to somebody actually worthy.And Hanzo—

Well. Hanzo would be alone.Like he deserved.

With a heavy heart, Hanzoentered his room, fully intending to collapse in a useless, pathetic pile ontohis bed and stay there. He wasn’t even going to change out of his gear. Just…sleep.

This plan was thrown outthe window when he realized that somebody was already on his bed. Jesse satthere looking anxious. He stood up when Hanzo entered, his hand rising toadjust his absent hat and instead running through shaggy hair that Hanzo knew tobe soft to the touch.

Hanzo ignored the longingto just go to his cowboy long enoughto ask, “Jesse? What are you doing here?”

“Listen,” Jesse began, allnerves and no charisma. It was strange to see him so far outside of hiselement. “I know you’re probably mad at me for pushin’ like I did.”

Hanzo stared at himwordlessly. Was he actually hearing what he thought he was hearing? SurelyMcCree wasn’t apologizing? Not whenhe didn’t have anything to apologize for? Not when Hanzo had been cold andcruel and said such horrible things to him?

“You like your space; Iget it. I’m real sorry about sayin’ anythin’ that might’a upset you. If it’sall right with you, I’d like to just… go on like I never brought it up. Iunderstand if you want some space, but I—”

Hanzo’s mouth moved beforehis mind caught up. “Are you an idiot?”

Anger flashed in Jesse’seyes, but he swallowed it down. He smiled a little, a hard curl of the lipsthat shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was. “’Scuse me, darlin’?”

“After I yelled at you theway I did, you still want to be with me?” Hanzo demanded, confusion turning intorage as he walked toward McCree. Impressively, Jesse held his ground and juststared down at him with eyes that betrayed no emotion, no thought. “I don’tunderstand you! Why are you so nice tome?”

“Maybe I just understandyou a hell of a lot more than you think I do.”

Hanzo scoffed. “What doesthat mean?”

“That I get it, Hanzo!” Jesse’shands, one strong and metal and the other just as firm and flesh, appeared on Hanzo’sshoulders, and Hanzo swayed toward him instinctively. He was so tired, so tiredof fighting and keeping up his ire. McCree was supposed to be his comfort zone,where he could relax, let his walls down and just breathe. Give affection and receive just as much in return. Thestruggle to keep from just collapsing against the cowboy filled him with suchan ache, he wanted to scream.

When Jesse spoke again,his voice was much softer, his drawl deep and enticing. Hanzo wanted to wraphimself in that voice, wear it like a blanket and bury himself away from theworld. “I know the way you think. That you have this thing about what you doand don’t deserve because of the past and shit. Hell, I think you’re just afraid to be happy. And I get it.”

Hanzo swallowed, unable tolook McCree in the eyes yet. His gaze settled on one of his flannel’s buttons,a bit darker than the others. He’d probably had to replace it at some point.The thought of Jesse mending his own clothes with the same hands he used tokill his enemies—the same hands thatcurled around Hanzo’s shoulders now—

“But you gotta realizethat I don’t care, darlin’.”

Hanzo’s eyes snapped up atthat, and he was stunned to find McCree smiling. “Yeah. You’re all kinds offucked up, but the thing is, Hanzo: I signedup for this. I knew what I was gettin’ into, and I fell in love with ya,anyways.”

Hanzo said nothing, notbecause he didn’t want to but because he couldn’t find the words to speak. Hestared at Jesse’s face, searching for any trace of a lie, but all he saw wasgenuine honesty. McCree meant every word, loved him even in the face of hisflaws. Hanzo wasn’t sure he could even processthis.

“Now, I’m willin’ to workthings through with you, but I’m gonna need some effort on your end. I’m gonnaneed you to tell me if I’m pushin’ you too far, and I’m really gonna need ya to not get so pissy with me when I do. If yougot boundaries, you gotta tell me, all right? Otherwise, we ain’t gonna work.”

Hanzo swallowed,recognizing the situation for what it was. McCree was leaving the decision upto Hanzo, whether he wanted to stay together or go their separate ways. If hethought they could work things out or just end it while they could still be ongood terms. It would be so easy just to push McCree away the same way he’d beencutting ties his whole life. For Jesse’s benefit. For Hanzo’s.

But Hanzo was tired offighting, of breaking every relationship he’d ever forged, and he decided itwas just as easy to give in, to nod his head and admit what he really wanted.

“I would like to workthings out.”

“Yeah?” Hope gleamed inJesse’s eyes, and Hanzo just had to smile.

“Yes. Yes, I….” He took adeep breath, lifting his hands from his sides to find comfort in the solidityof McCree’s broad shoulders. “I apologize. I should not have spoken to you likethat before. I was… afraid.”

“Must be big if it couldspook ya like that,” said McCree, an eyebrow raised.

Hanzo nodded. “Do you notthink you would grow sick of me if we shared the same quarters? What if you donot like my living habits? Or if you see too much of me and think it was all amistake?”

“Ain’t gonna happen,”McCree said with such certainty that Hanzo believed him immediately. “I couldnever get sick of you, Hanzo. Hell, what I really want is to see you more; that was why I suggested sharin’ aroom.”

“That… makes sense,” Hanzoadmitted, nodding. “Very well. Move in immediately.”

“Now, hold on—”

“You have changed yourmind?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Then what seems to be theproblem?”

McCree laughed and bentdown to kiss Hanzo. Oh. Oh, that was nice. Hanzo sighed, melting against hiscowboy as he’d wanted to do since he found him there. McCree’s hand slid intohis hair, untied his ponytail and combed his hair free, and Hanzo all butcollapsed.

“The problem is that you’redead on your feet, Han. I ain’t lettin’ you make any decisions while you’re sodamn tired. I don’t want ya regrettin’ anything.”

Hanzo grunted hisagreement. That sounded logical, and he wasn’t about to argue. No more arguing.Not with McCree. Genji couldn’t be helped, but perhaps Hanzo would apologize tohim as well.

For now, he was ready tosleep. He let McCree pull him over to the bed and start stripping him of hisgear, telling Jesse to just leave it all on the floor. That was a problem forthe Hanzo of tomorrow. The Hanzo of now just wanted to wrap himself aroundJesse, breathe in his scent, feel his heat—

“Stay?” Hanzo asked, fartoo vulnerable for his liking.

If Jesse noticed, he didn’tbring it up, just carded his fingers through Hanzo’s hair and promised, “No otherplace I’d rather be, darlin’.”

#writing prompt #overwatch #mchanzo #i'm kinda unsatisfied with this #but i hope you enjoy it #angst with a happy ending #Anonymous

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amythecinnabunny · 4 years

Text

Apartment 42 -- A BuckyNat AU

master and rival assassins unknowingly live together for almost a year, making sure their real jobs remain a secret from each other and everyone around them

Chapter 5

Natalia jolted awake, inhaling deeply. The action sent a sharp pain through her right side. She twisted and shifted in the bed, unaware of her surroundings and slightly afraid.

"Easy, Natalia."

The voice calmed her down instantly. The hand on her shoulder sent ripples of serenity through her body.

"That's it. Slowly. Breathe slowly. Easy. Open your eyes slowly."

She did as he said and flinched at the bright lights in the private ward Anthony had arranged for her, but she adjusted quickly enough. "Anthony," she croaked, "where is he?"

"He's all right," James said, "a little tired and still in shock, but he's all right. Lay still, you've got a fractured rib."

Once she had accepted the fact that she lay in a hospital, safe from the Red Room, Natalia calmed down. She turned her gaze from the ceiling to James. "What happened?"

"You ran out into the street, Natalia. What were you thinking?"

"Anthony was . . . he could have gotten hit."

Both were struggling to understand the concept of saving someone else at the expense of their own safety, risking everything even though they weren't ordered to, protecting someone just because it felt like the right thing to do.

"And you could've died." James struggled to understand why that bothered him.

"I had to," Natalia said, even though logically, she knew she was under no obligation to have to do anything for Anthony. Yes, if something happened to the teen, Howard would react somewhat negatively, but Anthony did not secure Howard's safety. Anthony's life played no part in Natalia's mission.

The door opened. "James? You up?" It was Ana. "Pegs wants to speak to you outside. I'll sit with -- Tallie! Oh, goodness, you had us so worried!"

James smiled. "I'll leave you in Ana's capable hands," he told Natalia. Both only realised he'd been holding on to her hand when he let go and left. Leaving Ana to scold Natalia, James closed the door slowly behind him, waiting for the soft click before turning towards the waiting room.

When he walked in, Peggy halted her conversation with Anthony. She stared at James for a second. "Anthony, would you be a dear and get Aunt Peg a cup of tea from the café downstairs?"

Her eyes never left James, not as she handed Anthony a few notes, nor as he rolled his eyes and pocketed the money he would undoubtedly return, nor as Anthony left.

Once Anthony was gone, Peggy stood up and walked to the door behind James. She closed it just as slow as she'd walked. "I don't bite, Se-- James."

"Ana said you wanted to speak to me."

"Yes. I wanted to ask you some questions. You resemble someone I once knew and . . . I'd like to get some clarification."

James nodded hesitantly as Peggy came to stand in front of him. He could've counted the slight wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, or the number of gray hairs in her bangs.

"Does the name Steve Rogers mean anything to you?"

James shrugged. "He was Captain America. Died in a plane that crashed into ice. Never found."

"Nothing else?"

"Ms Carter, I don't see the point to all this. I'm barely twenty-five. What else could the man mean to me?"

So much, Peggy wanted to say, he meant so much to you. Instead, she smiled. "I believe you're right, Sergeant Barnes." The rank slipped from her lips without warning.

"Sorry?"

Peggy shook her head quickly. "He was a . . . friend of mine. We went out for drinks once, talked about what Steve was like before the army. We were -- we were close. He treated me like he did his sisters."

"What happened to him?" James asked, curious.

"He fell. During a mission. He fell from a moving train. We searched for him. But we had no idea where he fell, where he would've landed. All I wanted by the end was a body to bury. Some sense of twisted closure for his parents and his sisters, for Steve. We never found him. I thought-- I hoped you were him but I see now that it's ridiculous." Peggy smiled. "If you were him, you'd look a lot more like me than the man I remember."

"I . . . I'm sorry, Ms Carter."

"Please, call me Peggy. Ana and I are friends of Tallie's."

"Tallie," James murmured, remembering the day he met Natalia.

Natalia, but no one ever calls me Natalia.

So was he really the only one who called her Natalia? Did that make it . . . special? Why didn't she stop him, demand he call her by her chosen nickname? Did she -- oh, dear, did she like him calling her Natalia? Now what could that mean? Did she even notice that he only ever called her Natalia?

His head began to spin with all the questions.

"Do you know her well?"

"Hm?"

"Tallie. Do you know her well? You told the paramedics you're her boyfriend."

James debated between the real truth, the truth Peggy knew, and a complete lie. Inevitably, his habits got in the way and some kind of mixture spilled from his lips. "Oh. Yeah. She told me about the bet in the bar. You don't have to give her the twenty dollars, by the way. She's messing with you."

"So you are her boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Mhm. We live together too." James could not stop talking. He had no idea how to stop. "We were actually thinking about getting a pet." Shut up! "Maybe a cat. But she's always working. So dedicated." Shut! Up! "It's one of the many things I love about her."

"They didn't have tea, Aunt Peg, so I got you a coffee. Taste it and let me know."

James was thrilled to see Anthony. "Hey, kid! Uh, since you're back, I'm gonna leave Peggy here with you and go save Ana from my girlfriend."

As he fled the waiting room, James slammed the palm of his hand into his forehead several times. He could've just said her name! There was no need to call her his girlfriend!

"We have a problem," James blurted as soon as Ana closed the door.

"What? Is it--"

"I told your friend Peggy that I'm your boyfriend, that we live together, that we've been thinking about getting a cat, that you're very dedicated to work and that it's one of the things I love about you."

"You did what?!" With some difficulty, Natalia sat up. She stared, jaw-dropped, at James for a moment before shrugging. "At least they weren't all lies."

James nodded in agreement, but he found himself questioning which one of them were lies.

///////////////

Natalia was, despite the fracture James knew she had, cleared to leave the next night. James had spent the last twenty four hours in the hospital, sneaking in outside of visiting hours, going as far as climbing the emergency escape staircase and tumbling through the window.

Natalia was amused most of the time.

Howard didn't care much that he was confined to his home for the day.

By six thirty, James helped Natalia from the hospital wheelchair into Jarvis's car. He sat in the back with Natalia, leaving Anthony to sit in the front with Jarvis. The drive was quiet, mostly because James had worn hinself out persistently trying to get into Natalia's room and Natalia herself was still on medication. They bid Anthony and Jarvis a good night and slowly climbed the steps to their apartment.

"We should add a zero," James murmured, staring at the door as Natalia shoved her key in.

"Why?"

"So I can call our apartment the highest of them all."

Natalia paused with the door halfway open. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't so broke my landlord gave me a flatmate."

"You love having me around," James said, rolling his eyes as he walked in behind her and closed the door. "Off to bed?"

"Mhm. Got an early day tomorrow."

James frowned. "You're not going to work, are you?"

Natalia paused just before the hallways. "I have to. I'm being paid to show up and do my job."

"But your frac--!"

"The doctor said there's no sign of any fracture, James. I'm fine. I just need a good night's sleep."

James stood in the middle of the apartment with his mouth hanging open as Natalia went into her room and closed the door. "You're absolutely ridiculous!" James yelled, walking to the kitchen to get something to drink.

"Certified insane!" he yelled, throwing the fridge door shut.

"A hundred percent moron!" He slammed a glass down on the counter, thankful it didn't break.

"Reckless!" he yelled as he poured water into the glass.

"Irresponsible!" He threw the fridge door shut again.

"A danger to yourself!" He pounded on her bedroom door.

Before he could throw something else out of his mouth, Natalia pulled her door open sharply. "What?" she yelled, glaring up at him.

James thrust the glass at her. "Take your medicines!"

Confused and stunned, Natalia took the glass. Frowning, James turned around and marched into his own room, slamming the door behind him. It was much later, after a cool shower and a few minutes of silence, that he remembered he'd opened the fridge to get something for himself to drink.

///////////////

Howard was surprised, to say the least, to see Natalia. It was much later than he was used to her arriving, but he wasn't even expecting to see her at all. He'd tried to convince her to go home, but she wouldn't budge. Eventually he had no choice but to accept that Natalia would be hovering within the vicinity. When he finally accepted it, he decided to go out and get his coffee.

James was waiting in the café. He wanted to scrutinize her movements, see if he could spot a weakness. Once he knew where she flawed, he would know where his window was. And once he knew where his window was, he would get into the café and make his move.

He would have done the deed days ago had it not been for the damned Black Widow.

He'd begun to think Howard wouldn't show up when the man entered and walked over to his table without so much as a greeting.

"Good morning, Milo," she said in that light voice James simply loathed, walking past Howard. "The usual, please."

"Hang on, let me get the latch for you."

James could hear the smile in her voice when she stepped back and said, "Thank you, darling."

"Thank you, darling," James mocked under his breath, folding his arms and glaring at the window on his left. He missed her turning halfway, recognising him and almost tripping through the opening behind the counter.

Her sunglasses slipped off her face. James stood halfway. Would he finally get a glimpse of her face? Match a face to the identity he wanted to crush? She ducked behind the counter to pick them up, hurriedly jamming them back on her face.

He knew she'd seen him. She stared right at him, he knew she was looking at him behind those ridiculously large things. He hated that he couldn't figure her out.

It never occurred to him that he should've been just another stranger to her, that he should not have any consequence to her, and that she should have no reason to settle her gaze on him. He was too caught up in their last interaction.

The sound of the bullet leaving his gun, the sounds of her bike in the distance, her laugh over the radio. Thank you, darling.

James felt as if he'd been snapped from a trance when she turned away to watch Milo and Howard. How captivating she was . . . and he couldn't even see her face properly.

He noticed her hiss slightly, casually moving her hand to her side. So she was injured, then. How delightful. An injury meant she would not be fully focused on her task. James decided, he would get the job as soon as she left and by the next morning, he would be making Howard's coffee.

He just had to time everything perfectly.

prev || next

Masterpost

#apartment 42 #fanfiction #marvel #buckynat #tony stark #peggy carter #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #90s #au

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resplendentgoldenwings · 5 years

Note

Lol it's ok, you don't have to understand Ashburn. Those of us who ship it understand enough aspects of it to ship it, so all's good. And it's spelled "for real", not forreal.

So you started out trying to be magnanimous and take the high ground after your ship got criticized but you couldn’t really contain yourself and had try and correct my use of a colloquialism. Forreal spelled like that is a colloquialism because it’s informal like in a conversation when people run the words together it conveys tone and emotion.

That criticism must have really hurt huh nonnie?

Well, you’re in luck today because I’m over bitching people out and insulting them over ships. So I’m just going to respond with criticism of the show. I actually started out shipping Ashburn, not strongly but I thought they were cute and I liked Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad. I enjoyed Michael’s awkward attempts at connecting with Ash and like I said Shazhad is cutie.

I could even deal with him choking her because this is a sci-fi adventure show and characters get turned evil and attack their loved ones all the time. But what I can’t deal with is the way he lashed out at her when she didn’t shrug it off like it’s no big deal. I can’t deal with Michael having a lover who chokes her, and then gets angry when she doesn’t immediately forgive. I can’t deal with the fact that instead of trying to be a humble comforting presence he verbally attacked some of her greatest insecurities; things that she would have confided in him trusting that he would not use them to hurt her.

Just because you’re angry at someone you love that doesn’t mean you stop taking care of them. Is that how he is going to respond every time she disagrees with him?

Michael deserves better and as a viewer I deserve better writing. I was hoping for better writing. I was hoping that since Ash was still going to be around the show would take the time to address some of the flaws in the relationship and give Michael reason to believe that she could trust Ash to take care of her just like she took care of him all through season one.

I know in fandom we’re so used to filtering things through the lens of shipping and feels and our heart-eyes that we overlook a lot of flaws in what we watch. I get that I have some trash ships.

But we can still look for better in canon of the shows that we watch. We can look for better from people who are being paid to write these shows. The writers certainly don’t have to write the ship I want them to write, but what they chose to write should be logical, emotionally honest and compelling.

I see people clamoring for Ashburn because it’s an interracial ship and you know what I get that too. In the last ten years, we’ve been seeing more starring roles for Black women in television and if it’s not a Black show they are almost always with white men and I’m over it to an extent. I want to see interracial ships that don’t involve white people and I want to see Black women with Black men.

But I want those ships to get good writing, I want those romances to be epic, I want them to be compelling.

I want to see Ash so driven by his love for Michael that when he feels himself turn into Voq he steals a shuttle and flees, consequences be damned he’s got to keep the woman he loves safe. I want to see Ash so driven by his love for Michael that he can’t even look at himself after what he’s done and when he sees her he falls down on his knees and begs her for forgiveness for what he allowed to happen. I want to see Ash so driven by his love for Michael that he demands reassurance from L’Rell that Voq will never surface again.

I want to see Michael be smart and ask questions about his situations. I want to see her torn, I want to see her talk it over with her best friend Sylvia who totally gets Michael’s confusion.

I want to see these characters fight for their love. I don’t care about their heart eyes and their uwu if they don’t fight for it if it doesn’t make sense. I don’t want this tepid crap that’s about as compelling as dirty dishwater. I want Michael to have life-changing, extraordinary, exquisite love. That’s what Michael Burnham deserves, that’s what Black and brown women deserve and that’s what viewers deserve.

#Star Trek Discovery #Michael Burnham #Ash Tyler #Star Trek Disco #look I don't care what we do in fanon but we can ask for better from our canon #give me a real story to make my pulse pound and my heart race #give me something to root for #Anonymous

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icameheretowinry · 6 years

Note

Ed for character ask, if you want! Have a nice day ❤️

If I want? If I want??? If I want?!?!?! OF COURSE I WANT TO. Ed ruined my life in the best possible way and I will ramble about him forever. LET’S. DO. THIS.

How I feel about this character:

Obviously, you guys know that Edward Elric is not only my favorite character in the fma universe, but probably my favorite character in general. He’s excellently written, deeply representative of the nature of humanity, and endures beautifully subtle development over the course of his story. I’ve done several character analyses of Ed, but I tend to ramble. Here, I really want to take my time, and talk about specific aspects of his character I think are the most worthy of note. This might get l o n g, so grab some snacks and settle in. Let’s talk about the Fullmetal Alchemist!

One of most defining and well-written characteristics of Ed is his tragic backstory. The consequences of attempting to revive their mother follow Ed and Al years after it occurs, and forms one the main backbone of their story. While the immediate aftermath tends to define a large part of Ed’s personality in the beginning, what makes him so fascinating is that he eventually learns that using his personal tragedies as an excuse for his shortcomings with get him nowhere. Instead, he learns to use his suffering as a springboard to make sure no one else ever has to feel the way he and his brother did. The awful things that happen to Nina are a major setback, but instead of collapsing further in on himself, Ed, mostly thanks to Al, realizes that not only is it ok to start by trying to save himself, but with that effort, he can become stronger, and by extension, do more to help others. So, instead of using tragedy as an excuse for his weaknesses, Ed faces them to make himself stronger, and throughout his journey, use them as markers of his progress, or as checks to his humility.

Ed is also incredibly well-written to reflect his age. Sure, your average twelve-year-old is not an alchemic prodigy serving in the military, but I’m talking about how Ed reacts to his circumstances as a boy who’s just trying to piece he and his brother’s lives back together. Ed can play up the adult facade as much as he wants, but Arakawa also wrote him to be what he is; a kid. In the early stages of his story, Ed reacts to many inconveniences with fits of frustration, triumphs with unabashed cockiness, and authority or criticism with an upturned nose. Most of these immature reactions lessen or die out as his story progresses, as it does when someone starts to grow up. I can say that after living with a younger brother at ages 12, 13, 14, etc., Arakawa did a spectacular job of not only capturing those years with deadly accuracy, but applying them to an extraordinary individual like Ed in a way that felt effortless. While on a quest that eventually would determine the fate of the world as they knew it, he also gets nervous over a crush, and deals with the ups and downs of teenage friendships. (I mean, 99.9% of people’s best friends in high school don’t give up control of their body to an immortal being but there’s a metaphor I’m getting at here.)

Another super interesting aspect of Ed’s character is his guilt complex. For someone who so acts his age, he still takes on blame for many things that legitimately weren’t his fault. He blames himself for the loss of Al’s body, though there was no way he could’ve know what Truth would’ve taken from him, or that Truth would’ve intervened at all. He chastises himself for not being useful in dire situations when Winry stepped up to deliver Dominic’s grandchild in Rush Valley. It wasn’t his area of expertise, while Winry, he acknowledges, grew up with doctors for parents and reading medical textbooks. He feels helpless, but how could he know he would find himself in such a situation? He even holds himself responsible as a culprit in Hughes’ death for getting him involved in their research of philosophers’ stones. What Hughes discovered about the nationwide transmutation circle was, ultimately, his own doing. In addition, besides blaming himself for the loss of Al’s body, a guilt that Ed carries to the end of his story was his inability to save Nina. Just because he was the first person to put all the pieces together, he thought that if he realized Shou Tucker’s true intentions that much sooner, she would still be alive. Yet, realistically, no one else had figured it out either. He was just in the wrong place at the right(?) time. Yet, all of this being said, the moments during which Ed overcomes some of his guilt are some of the most powerful in the entire story. (Learning that Al didn’t blame him for the loss of his body is a prime example.)

As I’ve mentioned in other recent character analyses, a complex personality is key to a strong and likable character, and my god, does Ed have one. Ed has many traits that make him just fascinating to watch. While his early cynicism of humanity fades away, he remains cocky, stubborn, abrasive, short-tempered, sarcastic, occasionally hostile to figures of authority, and not one above stroking his own ego. Yet, a lot of those aspects of his personality veer towards superficial. He views every human life (in all forms) as sacred, and something he is painfully reluctantly to use to further his own goals. To those who earn his respect, he is endlessly loyal, selfless, and fights for those who can’t fight for themselves. His personality also takes on a different tint (like a real person) when he interacts with different people. He fights to see the Ling within Greed, but ultimately respects Greed as a member of his team. He’s in awe, yet honest with Riza. He’s sarcastic with Roy, but when in danger, is his greatest ally. He’s level-headed, firm, and forgiving with Al. He’s uniquely gentle and compassionate to Winry. In short, he’s beautifully and painfully human.

Finally, Ed is an excellent foil to the character of Father. While the latter tried to make himself a perfect being by ridding himself of humanity’s seven deadly sins (an idea I remember someone, though I can’t remember who, likening his goal to the idea of Nietzsche’s “Übermensch,” which is basically a form of superior man who could rise above traditional Christian values to impose his own. That sounds pretty accurate to me, but I’m no expert in this corner of philosophy.), Ed actively embraced all of his flaws, guilt, and well, sins, to ultimately become a more compassionate individual who is able to ultimately triumph over evil. (As a side note, Greed’s aid in this final battle really adds extra emphasis to his earlier explanation to Ed that “everyone wants something they cannot have.” The fact that Greed sacrifices himself in this moment to assure Father’s defeat proves that point several times over, which just makes those final sequences of the battle that much cooler [and heartbreaking]). The fact that Ed, who is riddled with what Father considers the ultimate faults of humanity, still overcomes him, proves that the rejection of own’s own humanity is a greater evil than the sum of it’s parts. As a huge characterization nerd, that’s pretty freaking cool.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Edwin is easily one of my top five OTPs, and I honestly don’t see shipping Ed with anyone else. Like Roy and Riza, Ed and Winry’s relationship is built on years of trust, respect, friendship, and tragedy. While they sometimes struggle with communicating their feelings, whether its about each other or the circumstances they’re facing, they always manage to get their feelings across when the moment demands it. It seems that their respective obsessions confuse or annoy each other, yet, they each possess huge admiration for the other’s accomplishments and passions. They understand the harsh burden of losing their parents, and Winry never judges Ed for attempting to revive his mother, likely because she had the same kind of longing. In addition, each of them are deeply concerned for the safety of the other, with Ed especially going to great lengths to ensure Winry is unaffected with his involvement in the military. Sadness of one pains the other, and they’re both hellbent on making sure the other is, in the end, happy. Talk about the makings of a great relationship! Also, at the most basic level, they’re SO DAMN ADORABLE.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I have to go with Al here. (Also apparently this got too long to add more gifs so rip to that idea…) These two have been through so much together, balance the weight of their varying personalities, and as a result, are the ultimate allies. Besides the deep care these brothers share, the most interesting aspect about them is how their personalities contrast and support one another. Ed is typically hot-headed and impulsive. Al is calmer and leans more towards logic. Ed has a big ego and is sarcastic. While Al has his moments, he’s unflinchingly kindhearted. However, their mutual passion for alchemy, humanity, and completing their quest are unmatched. The story is about brotherhood, and these two are the ultimate protagonists. Al’s superior battle sense, levelheadedness, and gentle personality are the perfect balance to Ed. He brings him back down to earth, yet encourages him to race to the ends of it. They joke and argue, but you know they would sacrifice everything for the other.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

*sigh* The Ed being really short joke did eventually get old…

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

As is the case with many fma characters in my book, I want to see more! Knowing Ed, there’s no way this kid would peak at 18. I want to see his adventures after the promised day. I want to see him with Winry and his kids, being a great father, but I also want to see him traveling, discovering, and maybe getting himself into a bit of trouble here and there! At the end of years of struggling and hardship, I want to see the next crazy step in his journey. There’s no way he’d sit still for long. The sky’s barely the limit for Ed, and i want to see how far he flies.

Send me a character, if you dare.

#edward elric #fma #fma brotherhood #character analysis #nikki speaks #good lord was this fun!!#lmao i wrote an essay;;;;;;

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lacquerware · 6 years

Text

Mega Man should stop presenting its flaws as indispensable features

When I was fifteen, I learned to play the song Malagueña on the piano. It was a laborious project; the culmination of nine years of piano lessons under the tutelage of Mrs. Diane Miller, and the main event for her upcoming student showcase.

This arrangement of the piece was a seven-pager, and somewhere around page four was a problem phrase I kept playing wrong, a rapid two-handed run up the keyboard with tricky fingering. I got to a point where I could play flawlessly up to that phrase, only to flub the phrase every time. Each time I flubbed it, my teacher would stop me and send me back to page 2. “You have to perfect that phrase,” she would say, “so try it again, but first play the preceding two pages, so it’s no longer fresh in your mind by the time you get to it again.” Alas, this would result in more flubs, and after three flubs in a row she would send me back to the beginning of the entire piece. “You’re still not getting it,” she’d say. “So I think we should run through the stuff you’ve already mastered one more time.” I would glance at her, trying to read her intent, and she would stare back at me, bug-eyed and malevolent.

The above story is false,because Mrs. Miller was a kind, intelligent, and non-insane person. Like all people of that description, she understood that you don’t work out a problem area by indiscriminately repeating ALL PRACTICE. When you get one problem wrong on a math quiz, you don’t review the entire textbook. You don’t work on your free throws by drilling layups and then also free throws. You can’t learn to poach an egg by toasting English fucking muffins all day. To suggest otherwise is an act of hostility.

Mega Manhas always carried this hostility. The game dishes out its challenges in neat little screen-sized units, but penalizes your failures with gratuitous setbacks, often requiring you to replay entire stages from the beginning. This makes learning inordinately tedious. You have to retread every yard for every yard gained.

I guess this is a relic of the arcade age, when games were designed with the express intent of punishing players—unless they paid up. Indeed, most of Mega Man’s NES contemporaries inherited this same feature in the form of finite lives and scarce checkpoints, but it never made much sense on home consoles. You could argue that it prolonged the lifespan of each game, but that only held true for the masochists who continued to tolerate this torturous system rather than reallocate all that wasted time to more fruitful pursuits like, I dunno, learning to play piano or poach an egg.

I’ve always liked Mega Man, but it was already starting to feel like a tired concept as early as Mega Man IV. I was about eight years old by then, and starting to catch on that they were running out of boss motifs. Pharaoh Man felt like a red flag.

Mega Man has since proliferated into a multi-faceted franchise spanning more than 120 titles and three decades (and for the record, I’ve played through almost all of them), but it’s never really dispensed with its ancient baggage. Mega Man X brought new visual flare while diversifying the core action; Mega Man Zero imbued the series canon with new consequence and cool factor; Mega Man ZX fused the classic gameplay with the Metroidvania template; but all of these spin-offs continued to punish, punish, punish, to gatekeep their content from the series’ own consumers to no certain end.

When Capcom revealed Mega Man 9, I was momentarily taken with the nostalgia of it, but quickly lost interest when I realized that Capcom had no intent of evolving the series’ concepts, even in basic quality-of-life ways. Lives and weapon energy were still pointlessly commodified, checkpoints sadistically scarce. They’d even removed what few innovations the series had seen to date, such as the slide and the charge shot. Nor did the roster of Robot Masters appear any more inspired than the cast of rejects that had turned me off five installments prior. Capcom had had seventeen years to think about it and all they’d come up with were lame analogs of pastbosses, like Tornado Man and Magma Man. It’s like they thought they hadto retread the same shit beat for beat or people would get confused. Even their ace, Splash Woman, was just another in a long line of water-themed bosses.

Mega Man 10 as a follow-up was downright depressing. Strike Man, Pump Man, and Chill Man are what you get when you realize yesterday was the deadline and all you’ve got is a pen and a cocktail napkin. I can’t fathom that a bunch of game designers sat around brainstorming ideas for Mega Man fucking 10 and someone was like, “Hmm, what about an ice-themed boss.”

Now we have Mega Man 11, the long-awaited, belligerently-demanded revival of the MM franchise after some eight years of dormancy. After playing the demo, I find myself wondering why. Why are we here? Why is Mega Man 11 Capcom’s answer after saying no to Mega Man for eight years? It’s the SAME.

Yes, it looks and sounds nicer and there’re a couple new mechanics—which are themselves comically uninspired takes on the ancient tropes of bullet time* and Devil Trigger—but I’m mystified at how unchanged the formula still is after eight years of seemingly adamant dismissal of the entire franchise, let alone the thirty-one years they could’ve been critically examining it. Do they realize that other developers have been building on this genre since the eighties?

*Weird side note: The tutorial for Mega Man’s new “Speed Gear” ability explains that the gear makes you “move so fast that everything else seems slow,” but in practice Mega Man moves just as slowly as everything else. So it’s not Mega Man who’s moving fast, it’s. . . the player?

Punishment as “Difficulty”

In the Block Man (lol) stage of the demo, there’s a section where you have to jump and slide through elaborate platforms as they scroll toward you, an insta-kill grinding device nipping at your heels all the while. The third platform has very peculiar collision detection, such that your head bonks against the empty space you’re supposed to jump through, seemingly rendering the challenge impossible. This is several screens into the stage but still prior to the first checkpoint (on Normal mode), so every time this platform killed me, I had to start the entire stage over. After about fifteen tries, I discovered that the collision doesn’t trigger if you’re holding left as you make the jump—an illogical thing to do unless you’ve died so many times you’ve run out of other ideas. By the time I cracked this idiosyncrasy, I’d already spent close to an hour replaying the preceding screens over and over for no reason. Why is this still a thing? This is punishment, not difficulty. It contributes to the challenge only in that it makes the experience less fun, “challenging” your resolve to continue playing. Think of all the origami you could be learning. All the old ladies you could be helping cross streets.

The Mega Man games are quite clever in the way they parse out the platforming and shooting in little bite-sized units. Each screen is essentially an action puzzle for you to solve. It would be so logical for each screen break to be a checkpoint, because each screen break isa checkpoint—the start of the next challenge. Games like Super Meat Boy do this, meting (meating?) out their challenges in bite-sized, infinitely repeatable increments. Nobody accuses Super Meat Boy of being too easy because it doesn’t make you repeat the shit you’ve already completed when you fail at the current task. If you wantthat kind of punishment, no one’s stopping you from resetting the game.

Mega Man 11 adds a “Casual” mode which increases the number of checkpoints, but it’s still annoying to me that the more punishing model is treated as the norm while the more logical distribution of checkpoints is treated as a concession. Soulsplayers will tell me to “git gud,” but that’s why I led with the piano analogy. I got damn good at Malagueña, and I still had time left over to do my homework and play video games.

Special Weapons

Using your Special Weapons in Mega Man games is like spending the money you might need to pay rent on stuff you could be getting for free through your well-connected friend Dave. The trial-and-error pairing of the right weapon and the right boss is such an integral part of Mega Man’s progression that any other use of anyspecial weapon becomes a high-risk gamble—unless, of course, you just Google the answers.

I understand the need to impose limits on the more powerful weapons, but games have figured out countless better ways to do this in the thirty-one years since Mega Man 1. Cool-down times. Cool-down meters. Recovery proportional to damage inflicted. Recovery proportional to damage received. Recovery by way of skillful attack, à laMetal Gear Rising. Enemy fire absorption à la Alien Soldier and Radiant Silvergun. Ranger X on the Sega Genesis had solar-powered special weapons; why not steal that idea for this game’s allegedly solar-powered protagonist?

Instead, even in its eleventh installment in two-thousand-goddamn-eighteen, Mega Man still employs an RNG-based item drop system. Replenishing your meter is as simple and menial as finding an enemy spawn point and brainlessly standing and shooting until an enemy happens to drop the energy you need. Don’t forget to cycle over to the gun you want to replenish, or else the battery is wasted, as if Mega Man just eats it by mistake.*

*Later games in the series introduced the Energy Balancer, a purchasable item which automatically refills the weapon that needs refilling even if you don’t have it selected. Why is that a thing you have to buy? Why put a fundamental improvement to the game behind a paywall, virtual or otherwise?

Meanwhile, MM11still employs the same bizarre meter continuity between deaths as past installments. Each death means repeating sections of the stage without reacquiring any previously spent meter, effectively creating a difficulty vortex—the harder this game is, the harder it gets. There was a ruthlessly capitalistic logic to this in the arcade days,but the Mega Man series has never been coin-operated (with a few obscure exceptions). It hasnevermade sense that, often, the best strategy is to voluntarily leap to your death over and over to force a Game Over, just to restart with a full weapon meter as an alternative to the tedium of refilling it manually or facing the boss without it. What is the explanation for this meter continuity in the first place? Are we supposed to think Mega Man is repeatedly exploding and materializing but he can’t materialize a few extra shots from his bubble gun while he’s at it? There’s a multi-faceted idiocy to this whole system.

Rush

Capcom ought to take a long, hard look at Rush, Mega Man’s transforming robot dog companion. It’s hard to believe the same guy who invented a fully autonomous solar-powered robot boy couldn’t design a dog-shaped spring that runs on renewable energy. Special weapons are one thing, but why does Rush have an exhaustible meter? He’s a fucking spring. It makes no sense as a narrative detail nor as an element of game design. What exactly are the designers trying to limit? Your ability to spam high jumps? The logistics of the Rush Coil already do that; you have to set him up like a lawn ornament and he peaces out after a single bound. He’s unspammable, even with a full bar. To begin with, there are rarely that many useful opportunities to use the Rush Coil within a single stage, and energy power-ups are infinite as long as you’re willing to endure the chore of finding them, so it’s not as though the game is challenging you to budget your resources—it’s just discouraging you from searching for those meaningful jump opportunities in the first place. It’s driving you to Google.

Bosses

The Robot Masters have always received special star treatment in the Mega Man games but rarely been very interesting as boss fights. You know the deal: dodge the dizzying hail of projectiles in an empty square room while desperately scrambling to land enough hits with the weakness weapon before you die. Considering all the fanfare these bosses get (mug shot, intro screen, and now reveal trailers), most of them feel kind of interchangeable. Most of them have nearly identical silhouettes and shoot functionally redundant projectiles in superficially different shapes. Every gun is a Lucky Charms marshmallow.

The boss fights actually do seem a little more interesting in Mega Man 11—Block Man in particular stands out with his mid-fight transformation into a hulking colossus. I’d hoped to see more of this in future Mega Mans—fights that evolve and really set each Robot Master apart as a distinct embodiment of its corresponding motif—so maybe they’re onto something this time. Still, it’s a little ridiculous that this game has yet another fire boss, electricity boss, cold boss, and bomb boss. Why are we still here?

Before the mob comes for me, I want to stress that there’s always been lots to love about Mega Man, and I’m glad Capcom is investing in the IP again. I just hope this is the start of a long-term effort to reevaluate and improve the series, not another short-sighted extension of a tired status quo.

#mega man 11 #mm11 #capcom #games #video games #videogames #gaming #reflections #demo #games writing #criticism #rant

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winchesterelle · 6 years

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Us Against the World Chapter 1: Going to California

Campbell "Elle" Winchester, the youngest Winchester sibling, has never led a normal life—unless one considers ganking ghosts "normal." She teams up with her brothers to take on the world, but there are always bumps in the road. Every family has a story, welcome to the Winchesters.

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TRAILER BY FANFICJACKIEOH

The street lights flashed by overhead as a black Impala roared down the surprisingly near-empty highway just outside of New Orleans, Louisiana. Inside the car, Dean Winchester used the steering wheel as a fake drum set with one hand, jamming out to Led Zeppelin's Babe I'm Gonna Leave You while his passenger slept curled up in a ball beside him. His passenger was Campbell Winchester, usually known as Elle. Elle was Dean's baby sister. Well, she wasn't quite so little anymore being twenty-one and all, but he would never tell her that. After all, it was his job to look after her. Always had been always would be, as long as he had a say in the matter.

Dean and Elle had just finished up their job in New Orleans, dealing with some pain-in-the-ass vengeful spirit. They were now headed across the country toward Stanford. They needed Sam for their next gig. It didn't matter that things had turned sour with the other Winchester sibling four years ago nor that they hadn't really heard from him. The truth was, they needed Sam. But Dean hadn't told Elle that detail quite yet. He knew she would probably overreact and try to talk him out of it. But he had a gut feeling about this one.

The reason Dean hadn't been upfront with Elle about their new job was because it wasn't really one of their normal jobs. The task at hand involved looking for their missing father. Neither he nor Elle had been able to get ahold of their father for the past couple days and that worried him. But given their line of work, it was totally understandable. Hence, the road trip to get Sammy. They were going to need all hands on deck if they intended on finding John Winchester. That was just the family business. Their family business wasn't exactly normal, well, unless one considered hunting demons, ghosts, and anything else of the supernatural persuasion normal. But it was the Winchester way of life. The only life they really knew.

Elle slowly rolled to her other side, facing Dean. With her eyes barely open, she squinted at her older brother, trying to process where she was and what they were doing. She attempted to say something to her brother, but her voice was drowned out by Dean's Led Zeppelin jam. When Dean realized she was trying to talk to him, he turned the music down. "You said somethin'?" Dean said as he flashed a grin toward his sister.

"How much farther until the motel?" Elle asked hoarsely, glancing outside, confused by her surroundings...or rather, the lack thereof.

"We're not goin' back there. I—um—I already found us another job."

Elle raised an eyebrow suspiciously at her brother. She could tell he was hiding something, but she wasn't quite sure what. She fidgeted in her seat before she asked, "When did you have time to find one?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, clearly trying to play it cool. "Sometime after burnin' the body and before you woke up, I guess."

"I wasn't sleeping." Elle pouted a little as she shifted in her seat with her arms folded over her chest. "I was just sitting there with my eyes closed."

"Oh, that's what that was. Huh. I probably should have told my paid lady friend to be quieter then." Dean shot his sister a wink.

Elle's eyes widened. "That's disgusting! You did that with me in here?" She quickly looked back at the backseat and grimace. She then punched her brother in the arm, but Dean only laughed at her pathetic response.

"You punch like a girl."

"I am a girl! And there's no way you had a lady friend in here...no way...at least, I don't think you did." Elle's brow furrowed remembering a time when she actually had been in the car and Dean had someone over for extracurricular activities.

Dean chuckled. He had been thinking the same thing as Elle. Of course, he hadn't realized that Elle was in there at the time. He was a little too preoccupied to check the front seat while making use of the back. But that didn't mean he couldn't have some fun messing with his sister. "If you were actually awake you'd know if I did or if I didn't, now wouldn't you?"

Elle groaned and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I was asleep. Happy?"

"Ecstatic. And FYI, there was no curbside lady in the backseat." Dean then glanced over to his sister and smirked. "At least not quite yet. I'll be sure to let you know when Baby's occupied."

The Winchester girl placed her hands over her ears. "Ew. Perv."

Dean smiles before he reached across to ruffle his sister's dark hair. Elle's reaction made him laugh as she scrunched her face and then swatted at his hand. He then withdrew his hand and placed it back on the wheel. Elle tried to smooth her hair back into place, but the bedhead she already had from sleeping made things much more difficult. She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned around to grab her messenger bag from the backseat. With a firm yank, her bag went flying to the front seat. It was like an art form she had perfected.

Elle began to rummage through her bag. Most of its contents wouldn't typically be found in a girl her age's bag. The salt rounds, the bottle of holy water, and a rod made out of pure iron definitely wouldn't qualify her for normal, but the compact mirror she pulled out at least gave her some sense of normalcy for a girl her age. She opened the compact mirror to examine her pathetic appearance, not having showered since yesterday...before her run-in with a vengeful spirit being earlier that day.

The Winchester girl's strikingly blue eyes looked back at her as she looked over the scratches and newly formed bruises on her face. She bit her bottom lip in contemplation. Being bait always came with a risk. Always. She was just thankful that Dean had salted and burned that damn ghost's bones before it had managed to do something worse to her. It had happened before...but she trusted Dean. She trusted him with her life.

With a sigh, she dropped the compact mirror back in her bag before she put her seatbelt back on and stretched out. Elle plopped her Cookie Monster socked feet on the dashboard, knowing full-well Dean was going to give her crap for it, but she did it anyway. Three. Two. One. Just as expected Dean looked at his sister with a stink eye. Elle responded with an eye roll of her own before Dean began swatting at her legs. "Get your smelly ass feet off my baby."

"My feet don't smell." Elle groaned and removed her feet, but sat cross-legged on the seat beside him just to spite her brother. She slowly reached one of her feet toward her brother until it brushed against him.

Dean grabbed her foot and pushed it to the floor. "Have you taken a whiff of them recently?"

"I think you might be mistaking my feet for your feet. Besides, even if my feet smelled they don't even begin to compare to…"

"Sammy's feet," Dean chuckled shaking his head. "Good lord, I swear he bathed his feet in onions, garlic, urine, and sweaty gym socks. Those puppies reeked." He went silent for a moment before he added, "And for the record, your feet do smell."

Elle rolled her eyes in her brother's direction again. Dean may give her crap most the time, but that was the nature of their relationship and she wouldn't change it for anything. Besides, Elle Winchester could give back just as well as she got and Dean knew it.

She sighed, Dean had always been the one to take care of her. Even when she was younger, it had always been Dean looking after her. He was just old enough to take on that role for her. He had taught her how to ride a bike, how to drive a car, and of course, hunting and ganking the supernatural. In most senses of the word, Dean was more like a father to her than a brother. Sometimes, Elle couldn't help but wonder if that role had been forced on Dean or one he had chosen willingly. But sometimes, it was hard for him to switch back and forth between brother mode and father mode-something she knew he shouldn't have had to do in the first place. Her relationship with Dean at times quite contrasted her relationship with her other brother.

Looking out the window once more, she couldn't help but feel some contempt toward Sam. He had just up and left them… he had left her. Something that she had never expected to happen. Whereas Dean had been like a father, Sam had been her best friend and she took him abandoning them quite hard. But the situation Sam had put her in that night hadn't made the situation any easier. Sam had wanted her to go with him to California and deep down, she had desperately wanted to go with him. But like Dean, one of her fatal flaws was that she also had a misguided sense of family honor. She had been so torn that night between going with Sam or staying with Dad and Dean. She had known that either way, someone else was going to get hurt and it wasn't fair of him to spring that on her.

Elle had never voiced her reason to stay. Not to anyone. Ever. Sometimes, she tried to keep the truth from herself. She figured that she should keep her real reason buried, otherwise the flaw in her logic could easily be pointed out and it was common knowledge that once there was a crack in the foundation, the building would eventually come crashing down. Those kind of emotions were deadly to a hunter. Compartmentalizing was a hunter's best friend.

With a sigh, Elle ran her fingers through her long brown hair when her stomach began to growl. She looked peripherally to Dean to see if he had noticed. Dean laughed at and made some dumb joke before he promised they would stop for a burger at the first exit they found.

Ten minutes later, Elle was practically devouring her burger in Dean's car as they sat in the parking lot. God, she had missed having a good burger. Dean claimed that she ruined the masterpiece by putting French fries on it as a condiment, but Elle couldn't care less what Dean thought about it. She liked it and that was all that mattered, right?

Beside her, Dean too was shoveling his food down his gullet so that they could get back on the road. Wherever they were going, it must be urgent, Elle mused. Originally, Dean had wanted to eat while he drove, but Elle persuaded him not to. And by persuaded she meant that she whined about the one time they almost went into the ditch while he was eating Taco Bell. Of course, he couldn't have helped it. There really isn't a good way to eat a taco while driving. And besides, to accuse him of ever purposely trying to harm his baby was obscene.

Dean shoved a handful of fries in his mouth before he slurped it down with his soda. Although, it was pretty obvious that he would give anything to have a beer right about now. Dean finished eating before Elle did. He shoved his wrappers back into the McDonald's bag that sat between him and his sister. He then put the car into drive before driving out of the out of the parking lot, while his sister continued to eat.

As he pulled back onto the highway, he glanced over at his sister curiously. She had been rather quiet and judging from the expression on her face, Dean knew whatever she was thinking couldn't be good. So, he attempted to distract her. "Why don't you give Dad a call when you're done eatin', kay?" Dean said smoothly.

Elle looked up at her brother, her blue eyes shimmering in the dark car. "He's not going to answer, Dean," she responded between bites of her cheeseburger.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "Doesn't hurt to try, Elle-Belle," he said more for the sake of argument, knowing full-well she strongly disliked that nickname. He knew John Winchester wasn't likely to answer, but it was all he could think of doing right now.

"We've been trying." Elle brought her feet up onto the seat and her knees to her chest, curling herself into a ball.

"We'll just have to try harder." Dean knew this wasn't going well...she hadn't even finished her burger, but sometimes his sister could just be plain stubborn.

Elle scoffed. "And how exactly does one try harder? That expression doesn't make any sense. Where does it even come from anyway? Remind me to put that on my list of phrases not to use because they don't make any damn sense. Then again, I should probably start said list because it doesn't actually exist yet."

"Elle!" Dean snapped. "Just do it, dammit. Just call Dad."

Elle looked over to her brother suspiciously, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she nibbled at one of her fries as Dean began humming to another Led Zeppelin song on another one of his damn tapes. While she could appreciate Dean and her dad's music, it wasn't her particular favorite. No, Dean would relentlessly mock her for the type of music she liked to listen to. Then again, he mocked anyone who didn't have his taste in music.

Recognizing that she wasn't going to do it without more prompting, Dean handed his little sister his cell phone. She grudgingly accepted his phone, despite having her own phone, not that she regularly used her own phone for much. Elle angrily flipped open her brother's phone. Elle and Dean both knew that if John Winchester was going to answer anyone's call, it would be Dean's call...not hers. Although that could be another reason that Dean was having her use his phone, Elle mused.

But Dean was seemed to be forgetting the fact that John Winchester hadn't answered any phone calls for days. That should have been a flashing neon sign saying something to them. But Elle hit re-dial on the phone anyway. Not surprisingly, it went straight to voicemail. She quickly ended the call and tossed Dean's phone back at him. "Surprise, surprise," Elle spit cynically. "Voicemail. No point in me leaving one."

Dean knew better than to say anything when his sister got like this, but that didn't stop him from being sorely tempted. He chewed on his cheek to keep him from saying anything stupid. After a few minutes and a bloody cheek later, Elle was the first to speak. But she changed the subject to one Dean wasn't prepared for Mom.

Elle shifted uncomfortably as she looked at her brother. "Dean, what was Mom like?" she asked rather innocently.

"Wh—what?" Dean stammered glancing at his sister, rubbing the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

The Winchester girl played with her hands, glancing down at the floor, almost embarrassed to have even asked. "Mom?" she muttered before looking back at him again. "You know the woman who—"

Dean put his hand up to stop her from finishing. "I know who Mom is, Elle-Belle."

"Well, tell me something about her." Elle folded her arms across her chest and stared at her brother.

Dean thought she looked so young and almost childlike in that moment. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for this conversation. He wasn't even that old when their mother burned to death. So, that's what he told his sister. "It's not like I remember much. I was only four when she—"

"Please?"

Elle's pleading and her damn puppy dog eyes were causing his barriers to crumble. "Um—well—let's see here. She had blonde hair and blue eyes—"

"C'mon, I already know that from the picture you have. Something else. Please?"

Dean shook his head and slapped the steering wheel with his right hand. "Son-of-a-bitch Elle, you didn't even give me a chance to finish what I was saying."

Elle threw her head back and groaned. "Sorry!" She stayed quiet for a moment before continuing with a slight smirk playing on her face, "And for the record, I think I'd technically be labeled as a daughter-of-a-bitch. Just saying."

"Yeah, yeah,again-what'syeah. Whatever you say." Dean glanced at his little sister. She was almost always able to bring humor into any situation, even as self-deprecating as it was, but it was one of the things he admired about her. Dean drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. "Now, where was I...right, as I was saying you have her eyes. Same shade and everything."

Although, what Dean didn't tell her was that was one of the reasons John couldn't stand to look Elle in the eyes. He didn't want to do that to her. Dean nodded his head. "So...yeah."

"And?" Elle asked, leaning forward wanting to know more.

"And what?"

"And that's all you're going to tell me? What about what was her favorite color? Or her favorite flower? Her favorite song? Favorite dessert? There are just too many questions that I haven't gotten any answers to. I'm twenty-one years old and I think I deserve to know something about my mother. Something that I can't get from looking at a picture of her."

Dean raised an eyebrow curiously at his sister. "What's with twenty questions about Mom all a sudden?"

"I—I don't know," was all she offered.

The older Winchester shot his sister a slightly disapproving glance. He knew his sister better than to buy that. "I know for a fact that's a lie, so let's try this again. What's with the twenty questions about Mom?"

"I—I just want to know her so bad, Dean. I always have. I never got to know her. She never even got to hold me. I-I just want to know if she'd like me. If she would be proud of me. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm as big of a disappointment to her as I am to Dad."

There it was, the truth; the elephant in the room—well, car, technically. Dean exhaled slowly trying to carefully calculate a response to his sister's revelation. He knew she had building up something against their father for years, but this was one of the first times she had ever voiced anything about it. "You're not a disappointment to Dad," he said trying to reassure her.

Elle snapped her fingers at him. "Don't try and placate me."

"You know better than to use the big fancy words with me when I'm trying to help you. School wasn't my thing and I was never college material."

"Neither was I. I didn't even try to apply for colleges because I thought it would make Dad happy, especially after Sam. But it didn't. Nothing I do ever makes him happy. Ever. Everything I've done with my life has never been enough for him. I just can't do enough for that man. Do you know that never once in my life do I remember him telling me that he loved me? Not once, Dean. That's weird."

"Elle, Dad's just Dad. It's nothing to get all wound up over."

Elle shook her head. "You don't get it Dean. I see the way Dad looks at you. Hell, even Sam, whom he said he never wanted to see again. He doesn't look at me like that. He looks at me like I'm some sort of abomination from hell that doesn't deserve to live. It's like he's always waiting for the other shoe to drop with me or something. For once in my life, I just want to be enough and for him to say the oh-so scary L word."

Dean sighed. "I promise you that when we find him, you'll get whatever it is you've been looking for. I'll make sure of it. First things first, we kinda actually need to find him."

She wasn't sure that she believed Dean's words, but she knew that Dean believed them and when Dean set his mind to something, he did something about it no matter what the consequences. He had proved his loyalty time and time again. Whatever he did, it was always in the best interest of their family, no matter how stupid. Despite his rough exterior, her brother was a softy on the inside, as far as she was concerned. Although Dean would never 'fess up to that.

Elle could practically feel her brother's eyes on her, waiting for her to respond. If he was going along with it for her sake, then she might as well too. She nodded her head and then asked, "So, what's this plan of yours?"

"Remember that job I was talkin' about?"

There was something in his tone that gave away that there was more to this than he originally let on. She eyed her brother curiously. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, the job kinda involves picking Sammy up."

Elle slowly blinked her eyes, processing what he said before she responded. "Kinda or it actually does? There's a big difference between the two, Dean."

Dean glanced at his sister before looking back at the road ahead. "We need Sammy on this one, Elle. I just feel it."

Elle couldn't help but scoff. There was no way in hell that Sam was going to go with them. He had his perfect apple pie life at Stanford. A life that she quite often envied, to be honest. But she knew what Dean was thinking. In order to find Dad, it was going to take the three of them putting their heads together and working alongside each other. Even though his hunting skills might be a little rusty, Sam was pretty damn intelligent and a third set of eyes to discover whatever John Winchester had been up to couldn't hurt.

She understood his plan, but that didn't mean she liked it or that she thought it was going to work. "You know that he's never going to go for it since he's gone all big-shot Stanford guy now," Elle commented.

"I think you're wrong. This is about Dad. He'll listen to reason and family honor," Dean responded.

"Cute names for your fists, Dean," Elle quickly retorted in her somewhat off-the-wallsense of humor before she bringing herself back to her point. "I just don't think taking Sam on in a wrestling match until he agrees with you is going to work."

"It always worked before," Dean smirked remembering a few other times when that tactic had proved useful.

Elle shook her head. "Yeah, when Sam was like half your size. You're the little brother now."

"Shut up. At least, I'm not as little as you are, Shorty."

"Hey, I'm not short, I'm fun-sized," Elle responded having once seen the slogan on a T-shirt. "But enough about me, you need a better plan for Sammy if you expect to get him to agree to road trip-it with us."

"And what, pray tell, do you suggest?" He scoffed with an obvious helping of sarcasm.

Elle pondered his challenge for a moment. She was usually pretty good at coming up with a sensible plan...at least, compared to Dean's usual plans. After about a minute, she had it. "Alright. How about you let me butter him up a little first? The helpless little sister thing always works on you and if I remember correctly it used to work on him too. "

"Helpless, my ass. Sam would never fall for that...and neither do I. We're not that dumb."

"Oh, really? How much are you willing to bet big brother?" Elle questioned as she held out her hand for Dean to place his wager.

"Not much," Dean muttered with a glance over to his sister, knowing she was probably right. "So what exactly are you going to do that's magically going to get him to come along? Huh?"

Elle smirked at her brother. "Well, I was thinking something along the lines of telling him that I'm fighting with you...again. It was really bad this time and I need a place to crash...that's the helpless little sister part. Then comes your part, you come along and say that we need to go find Dad, yadda, yadda, and I say that I won't go with you unless Sam goes because I can't stand being around your big fat ugly face. Then he's guilted into coming along so that he can keep the peace between us. It's practically perfect."

Dean shook his head. "Believable, I suppose...except the part about my big fat ugly face. My face is adorable."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"I will because it's the truth and you know it."

The conversation between Dean and Elle came to a lull. For the next hundred miles or so they sat in silence, a comfortable silence. That was one thing Elle liked about her relationship with Dean, they didn't always have to be talking to be comfortable with each other. You know, sometimes there are those people in life where you always have to keep them talking in order to know where you stand with them?

Well, being with Dean wasn't that way for Elle. They could ride together for hundreds of miles without uttering a single word to each other and yet, she knew that Dean usually wasn't angry with her. If he was angry with her, his facial expressions gave him away. He wasn't as good at hiding it as she was.

So, as for now, they were both content to sit in the Impala in silence as Elle drifted back to sleep while Dean continued to rock-out to his music. When Elle finally woke up again, they were somewhere in Texas, the seemingly never-ending state. It seemed like everytime they drove through the damn state it seemed to get larger and take longer to travel through.

Elle stretched her arms, glancing at a sign that said the next exit, beside the next one, wouldn't be for another seventy miles. She then looked at her brother who attempted to stifle a yawn. His over-tiredness caused him to accidentally jerk the wheel toward oncoming traffic. Dean and Elle's eyes widened as Dean quickly jerked the wheel the other direction to get them back on their side of the road. The sound of a car's horn passed by them as Dean rubbed at his eyes.

"Pull over, you shouldn't be driving," Elle commanded her older brother.

"I'm fine," Dean grumbled. "Just need to change the music."

"That's not going to work, Dean. We've been up since freaking six a.m. yesterday morning. You're tired. Just admit it."

"This is nothing compared to when—"

"You need some sleep. God forbid that you actually let yourself be human for once."

"I'll just pull over at the next town in a few miles and I can take a little power nap and it will be all good."

Elle shook her head."Shows how well you were paying attention. That last sign back there, before the last exit, said that the next stop isn't for over seventy miles, you loser. Just pull over and I'll drive for a couple of hours."

"But you hate driving."

"True, but if you make me choose between dying or driving, my money's on me choosing driving. Besides, would you prefer to get to Sam's so we can find Dad, or that we become road kill, which would be especially pathetic considering what we do for a living."

Dean remained stubborn with his hands gripped firmly to the wheel. He shifted in his seat, trying to sit up straighter. It was obvious he was trying to keep his eyes open wider to prove that he was awake, despite how tired he felt.

Elle shook her head. She knew how stubborn he could be, but having lived with him her whole life, she also knew his weak spots. "If you're not going to think about my welfare, then at least consider Baby's and how devastated you'd be to see her twisted and smashed frame splattered with my guts. Think of her shattered windshield, with my blood—and dashboard with my gut. Poor Baby with-"

Dean put his hand up to stop her. "I get your point, but quit being so graphic around Baby. You're gonna upset her if you keep talkin' like that and then she ain't gonna work right for you."

Elle rolled her eyes as Dean pulled over to the shoulder of the road rather reluctantly. He looked over to her before tapping the steering wheel. Dean then started to go over all the rules about driving his baby. Honestly, he was the one who had taught her how to drive and with this car nonetheless. He was too overprotective, but then again, if he was this protective over his car it only showed how much more he'd do for his family.

When Dean was done explaining things, things which Elle hadn't paid any attention to, he opened the driver's side door and stepped outside. Elle pulled on her red Converse sneakers before she followed suit and opened the passenger side door. She stepped outside into the breeze and couldn't help but notice the stars illuminating the night's sky.

She pulled her sweatshirt tighter around her body as she stared up at the immensity above. There was something about the night sky that intrigued her. Something that made her feel protected and safe. It sounded stupid, but that was how she felt.

Elle tore her eyes away from the sky when she heard Dean's footsteps crunching in the gravel. His figure drew closer and closer to her, easily towering over her. Compared to both of her brothers, Elle was tiny. Both of them were well over six feet tall, while she reached five feet two inches on a good day...if she rounded...and was wearing the right shoes. She smirked. Rounding, she chuckled to herself. At least something from third grade math came in handy every once in awhile.

Elle stretched herself to her full height when her brother stopped beside her. Dean held the keys out in front of her which she snatched from his hand. Normally, she'd have some sort of witty retort about him actually handing the keys over to her, but she didn't want to press her luck. Dean needed some sleep, not to mention that she didn't want to die on the freaking highway.

She adjusted her blue plaid shirt underneath her sweatshirt before she walked over to the driver's side. As she looked through the window, she could see Dean practically sulking. But she knew that he knew she was right...if that made any sense. She chuckled at her brother and slid onto the seat. Part of the reason she knew Dean hated her driving was because she had to readjust every little thing, including the seat which drove Dean nuts. She was short, so she needed the seat closer to the wheel which gave Dean very little legroom.

When Elle had finished adjusting the rearview mirror she turned toward her brother. "So now what do I do?" Elle asked innocently, biting her bottom lip trying to feign nervousness.

"Tell me you're kidding," Dean groaned, his hand moving for the door handle to get out and take the wheel again.

Elle's hand snaked out and grabbed hold of his arm. "Jeez. I'm kidding. Relax. Get some sleep."

Dean looked at his little sister sternly, with his index finger raised. "Just stay on this road and wake me up in exactly two hours. Whatever you do, don't get off this road."

Elle couldn't help but chuckle. "You don't trust me, do you?"

"You're terrible with directions, and even worse when I'm sleeping."

"I'm not that terrible."

Dean raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you remember when we were driving to go gank that ghost in Winona, Minnesota? You took us to Iowa."

The younger Winchester groaned. "I missed one turn and we were still three miles from actually getting into Iowa if you're going to get technical with me. Besides, it wasn't the end of the world."

"Just stay on this road."

Rolling her eyes at her brother, Elle muttered, "Fine."

Elle put the car in drive and carefully maneuvered it onto the empty road. She had driven about five minutes when her hand reached to adjust the radio. She could practically feel Dean's intense glares as she messed with his music, but she stopped fiddling with it when Wake Me Up When September Ends came from the speakers.

She began to sing along to the Green Day song when Dean turned toward her with a peeved expression. She attempted to ignore his glares, but it was futile. "You have gotta be shitting me," Dean growled. "What the hell is this crap?"

"It's Green Day. They've been around for a long time. I figured they'd be a compromise between your music and mine."

"Well, this is shitty music, beyond shitty even. They sold-out and for what? This crap? Change it back."

Elle swatted at his hand as he reached for the dial. "Ah-ah-ah, I don't think so. You're going to follow your own damn rule, that you oh-so-frequently remind me of. Driver picks the music and...hmm...how does that go again?"

Dean shook his head. "Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cakehole," he muttered. "But how the hell do you expect me to sleep with this crap on?"

"Peacefully," Elle smirked toward her brother.

"As I bleed from my ears." Dean curled up on his side. His position didn't look comfortable, but Elle wasn't sure his tall frame could find a comfortable position, to begin with.

As another pop song came on the radio, Dean's hands moved over his ears. With a smirk on her face, Elle leaned over and turned the radio off. She would wait until Dean was asleep before she resumed her crappy music jam. Dean seemed to relax more as the car grew silent.

Elle kept her eyes focused on the road as Dean's soft snores began to fill the car. She called Dean's name to make sure that he was out. When he didn't respond, she turned her music station back on but kept the volume turned down fairly low so that today's hits wouldn't wake Dean up.

She had fully intended on letting Dean sleep longer than two hours, but his internal clock must have known when his two hours were up because his eyes fluttered open and he immediately turned Elle's music off. "Pull over. I ain't sleeping to this crap anymore," Dean grumbled.

Elle shook her head before pulled over and they switched back to their original positions, Dean back to driving and Elle back to riding shotgun. The first thing Dean did when he got behind the wheel was change the music. Then he changed the seat, the mirrors, and everything else Elle had changed.

When they crossed the border into California, Elle's stomach began to churn. She had been so confident about her plan to get Sam earlier, but would he even want to see her? It had been complete radio-silence between the two of them since he had left. But more than that, she was stubborn and she wasn't so sure she had forgiven him for that night.

Why did emotions and family have to be so complicated? He was her brother, she should be glad that she was seeing him again, but she couldn't let herself completely go there. Yet, here Dean was, acting like Sam had been gone for nothing more than a weekend fling or something. Elle exhaled slowly. She needed to ignore the feelings that were building up within her. She needed to put on a happy face and push those feelings aside, something that she had already been doing for years. This time shouldn't be any different...or at least she hoped it wouldn't be any different.

Dean interrupted her thoughts when he asked her to pull out a piece of paper with Sam's address out of the glove compartment. Why the hell they called these things glove compartments was beyond her, but nonetheless, she handed Dean Sam's address. "We're close," he grumbled, before calculating the route he wanted to take. After turning down a few more streets, they finally came to a stop.

The Impala shifted into park outside the building where Sam lived. It looked...nice, Elle supposed. Well nice, considering how they had grown up on the road, never staying in one place for long. Nice to have a place to call home. A home, a mother, and her father's love were a few of the only things Elle wanted in life and she was pretty sure she was never going to get any of that. She didn't voice her thoughts aloud though, because while they should have been happy Sammy had gotten out, she knew that both she and Dean (whether he'd admit it or not) were somewhat jealous that he had a home. A place that beat the Impala or a crappy motel any day.

Dean cleared his throat, so Elle turned toward her big brother. "Out you go," he said. "You have one hour to get him in this car before I go barging in there, guns blazing."

"You mean, you're actually letting me do this?" Elle asked in a tone of surprise.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly. "I have to hit the head."

Elle raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Which is going to take an hour?"

"You can't rush digestion," Dean smirked at his sister who rolled her eyes at him.

"You're full of crap."

"Not for long." Dean winked at his sister which caused her to pretend to puke. He laughed. "You walked into that one and you know it."

Elle shoved her brother away from her in disgust before slipping her shoes back on her feet once more. She stretched as she stepped out of the car before she pulled her old blue Jansport messenger style backpack over her head. She slammed the car door shut behind her. Dean awkwardly waved at her with a stupid grin on his face like he was dropping her off at her first day of school but she shooed him to drive away with her hand motions. Surprisingly, he did as he was told.

She stood there for a moment watching the Impala drive away before she shoved her hands in her sweatshirt pockets. Elle then turned to find Sammy's apartment. She hoped she knocked on the right door, otherwise, that could be awkward...not that she had ever done that before. No, never. So, that was a lie, she had experienced that before and it wasn't any fun for her, but she never lived the moment down with Dean.

Elle carefully climbed the stairs until she came to the door to Sam's place. This was it. At least she hoped she was at the right door. She rapped twice on the door before lowering her hand. There was no going back now.

The Winchester girl blew a stray tendril of hair from her face before she decided to throw her long dark hair up into a messy bun. Once her hair was up, there was still no answer at the door. She knocked again, beginning to grow impatient. What if Sam wasn't even here? Maybe he moved and they had the wrong address? Part of her wanted to dash and then whoever was inside could chalk it up to a teenage prank, but she saw a light flicker on.

Moments later the door opened, revealing a girl with long blonde hair dressed in a Smurfs shirt with a toothbrush in hand. "Can I help you?" the blonde girl asked.

"I—um—I don't know," Elle stammered. "I must have the wrong place or something. I was just looking for my brother and clearly, you're not him. So, I'll—uh—I'll just be going."

Elle moved to turn away, but the girl reached out and grabbed her arm. The Winchester girl turned around to find the blonde girl eyeing her up. "Your brother wouldn't be Sam, would it?"

Elle's eyes popped in surprise. "Actually, yeah, his name is Sam. Sam Winchester."

"That must make you, Elle, the infamous little sister." The blonde girl smiled. It was obvious she was teasing Elle. As much as Elle hated to admit it, she was already liking the girl living with Sam...whom she could only rationalize to be his girlfriend.

"Guilty?" Elle said raising her hands in defense.

"Don't worry, you've got the right place. Sam just crawled into bed not too long ago. I was up—well, I think you can see what I was doing," The blonde girl said holding up her toothbrush. "But come on in. I'm sure he'll be really glad to see you. We were actually just talking about you earlier."

Elle muttered to herself, "That's not very reassuring."

The blonde turned and looked at Elle curiously. "What was that?"

The Winchester girl faked a cough. "Nothing. Just had a tickle in my throat."

Sam's girlfriend motioned for Elle to come inside. Elle nodded her head and stepped inside Sam's apartment. The girl smiled. "I'm Jess by the way."

"I'm Elle, but you already know that.'

Jess chuckled as she led Elle a little further inside. She then held up a finger and told Elle, "Just wait here. I'll go get him. He's going to be so surprised."

Elle nodded her head but muttered to herself, "That's one word for it."

Jess disappeared into the back room as Elle stood there awkwardly examining the room she was in. Pictures of Sam and Jess were scattered across the room. They looked happy, genuinely happy. This brought a mixture of happiness for her brother and jealousy. Nowhere did she see a picture of her or Dean. It was almost as if they did not exist. It struck her rather oddly. Did he even miss them?

Elle heard footsteps coming from behind her. She turned to see Sam appear from the back bedroom with a puzzled expression on his face. "Elle?" he asked, trying to figure out whether it was actually his little sister whom he hadn't seen in four years.

She nodded her head and raised her hands, in a what position. "It's me. Surprise."

Next thing she knew, Sam was engulfing her in a bone-crushing hug. She just awkwardly stood there and let her brother hug her while Jess watched from the doorway with a smile on her face. Elle wasn't exactly sure how she wanted to respond.

Thankfully, Jess spoke up before Elle was forced to say something….something she might regret. "Told you so," Jess said playfully to Sam.

Sam looked over his shoulder with a sloppy grin at his girlfriend before he squeezed his sister tight once more and then released her. Elle took a step back from her brother and looked up at him. She had always known that Sam was tall, but he seemed a whole hell of a lot taller than the last time she had seen him. He had to have over a foot of height on her.

Elle offered her brother the best fake-awkward smile that she could and he must have bought it. That or he was just so excited to see her. "Oh my god, Elle. I can't believe you're actually here. What are you doing here?" Sam questioned.

"Dean and I may or may not have had a slight disagreement," Elle stated carefully.

Sam shook his head. He clearly bought her excuse. "A fight? That's just great. About?"

Elle feigned a wince. "Something Dad related."

Sam rolled his eyes before he rubbed his temples. "You know, that's always the case with that man."

The Winchester girl slowly nodded her head. It was the truth, she couldn't deny that. She sighed, "But I don't want to go into that now. Besides, now obviously isn't a good time. I'm interrupting—"

"No, you're not—well, technically you are—but you're welcome here." Sam then turned toward Jess. "She's welcome here, right?"

Jess laughed heartily. "Of course, I've always wanted to meet a member of the mysterious Winchester family that Sam rarely talks about," she responded. "Besides, from the way Sam talks about you...when he actually does...I think we'll get along just fine."

Elle looked at Sam who shrugged his shoulders. Elle was probably the least threatening of the trio Jess hadn't met. Dean often compared her to an annoying little dog: her bark was worse than her bite, but at least she was cute. Or at least that's what she hoped Dean meant by that.

Jess offered to make Elle a sandwich, but the Winchester girl didn't want to impose on the couple. Besides, she needed to get Sam alone so that she could talk to him about her real reason she was there: finding Dad. Not to mention that Dean's outing wasn't going to take him that much longer.

Jess brought a pillow and blanket out and set them on the couch. Too bad Elle wasn't actually going to use them, but she didn't say anything. Jess then excused herself to go to bed not before mentioning something about an LSAT score, then leaving Sam and Elle alone. "Sam—we should talk—"

Sam leaned against the doorframe, with his arms folded across his chest. He nodded his head. "I agree, but I think it should be on some sleep."

"But—" Elle started, but was quickly cut off.

Sam chuckled. "C'mon, what's so important that it can't wait until morning?"

"Well—you see—"

"Morning all right? I'm just so wiped from going out tonight."

Elle looked at her brother curiously. She knew that he never went out on Halloween. It was like his big f-you gesture to everything supernatural. "You went out knowing what day it was?"

"Right? I know you get it." Sam smiled softly at his sister. "But Jess wanted to go out, so I did the good boyfriend thing, you know?"

"I suppose it's more enjoyable when one doesn't know exactly what's out there, huh?"

Sam nodded his head. "That's for sure. I wish I could still be naive about it all, like everyone else I know. Enough about that, though." Sam shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. I'll see you in the morning, Elle-Belle."

Elle sighed at the mention of her nickname. She then simply nodded her head, even though she knew that Dean was going to show up before it was morning. And knowing Dean, he was bound to make an entrance. Sam walked away toward the bedroom before he stopped halfway and turned around. "It's really good to see you, Elle. I mean it."

"Yeah, you too, I guess...I mean, given the circumstances."

"I'm still glad you came. I've missed you." Sam smiled at his sister before he turned the lights off and disappeared into the bedroom.

Elle plopped onto the couch and cuddled with the pillow and blanket. She was going to take advantage of it while she had the chance. But just when she had finally found a comfortable position, her phone buzzed with a text message. She groaned as she rolled over to grab her cell phone from the side pocket of her bag. She opened the text message. It was from Dean, the only person who ever texted her.

The text read: Ready or not here i come. And it wasn't long before Elle heard the window jimmy open. Of course, he couldn't use the door like a normal person. Elle shook her head. And of course, he hadn't a clue on how to be quiet. Elle swore the sound of his boots stepping across the floor could wake the dead.

She walked to meet him, but he must not have realized what she was doing because he clomped down on her bare feet with his steel-toed boots. Elle howled in pain as she smacked Dean.

Her scream must have awakened Sam because he shouted from the bedroom, "Elle hold on, I'm coming!"

"This should be fun," Dean chuckled quietly enough for only Elle to hear before she punched him in the arm.

"Don't you dare—" Elle started.

Sam came lumbering into the room, ready to attack. "Get away from her!" the tallest Winchester sibling shouted.

With that, Sam lunged at Dean and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him down. Dean managed to knock Sam's arm away and aimed to strike Sam, who ducked just a few moments before contact. Dean grabbed Sam's arm and swung him around before shoving him back. Sam managed a kick while yelling for Elle and Jess to run, before Dean blocked his kick and pushed him. Sam squinted trying to get a better view of the attacker, whom he still hadn't realized was his brother; but Dean elbowed him in the face.

Elle shouted for the two boys to knock it off, but they weren't finished. Sam attempted a kick at Dean's face, but Dean ducked. Dean tried to swing at Sam, but Sam easily blocked him. Then when Sam wasn't expecting it, Dean knocked him over and pinned him to the floor. One hand is at Sam's throat and the other is holding onto Sam's wrist. "Whoa, easy tiger," Dean said with a grin.

"Dean?" Sam asked in a puzzled tone.

"Are you two done yet?" Elle groaned with her arms folded across her chest. "You're going to wake the neighbors."

Dean laughed and slapped Sam on the shoulder. "You scared the crap out of me, man!" Sam groaned.

"That's 'cause you're out of practice," Dean said. Sam reached for Dean's hand and yanked on it hard before slamming his heel into Dean's back, knocking Dean to the floor. Elle chuckled at the sight. "Or not," Dean said with a smirk playing across his face.

Elle rolled her eyes and looked between her brothers. "Aren't you two just precious," Elle cooed in disgust.

"You shut up," Dean directed toward Elle before turning to Sam. "And you get the hell off of me."

Sam rolled onto his feet before helping Dean off the floor. Dean nodded at Sam, but Sam appeared to be touting a cold and solemn facade. Elle couldn't really figure out what was going on. Why was Sam mad at Dean, but not at her? Then again, why was she angrier at Sam, but not Dean? While she could read Sam's expression and try to decipher her own emotions. She had no idea what the hell was going through Dean's head at this point, which was odd for her

Sam stood there with his arms folded across his chest, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor. "What the hell are you doing here, man?" Sam asked.

Dean smirked one of his infamous stupid smirks that irritated Elle to no end. "Well, I was looking for a beer; but it looks like I got a family reunion instead," Dean responded.

But Sam refused to budge. "What the hell are you doing here?" he repeated.

Dean shook his head and looked at Elle. "You mean, Princess here didn't tell you?" he asked pointing to his little sister. Sam just stared at him. Dean shook his head again. "Why am I not surprised?"

Sam looked rather angrily at Dean. "You have no right to talk about her like that. She told me about you two and how you're being a pain-in-the-ass as usual and she can't stand the sight of your face."

"Did she at least mention that my face is adorable?" Dean grinned and pointed to his face.

Sam took a step toward Dean and snapped. "Cut the crap, Dean! I'm going to ask you for the last time why the hell are you here?"

Dean put his hands up defensively. "Okay. All right. We gotta talk. All three of us."

Dean and Sam started their bickering again, which Elle had no desire to get in the middle of, so she walked toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she turned the tap on, Jess made her way into the conversation.

Without even seeing Dean's face, Elle knew that her brother was checking the girl out, especially given the bed clothes she was wearing. Jess made a comment about going to put some more clothes on, but Dean made a cheeky remark about her not needing to. She loved her brother, but God was he a perv.

Elle reached for an apple on the counter beside her which she chucked at Dean's head. She nailed him right on the back of the head. He turned around to glare at her with his hand on the back of his head while Sam managed a laugh. "You were saying?" Elle commented.

"I was saying that I need to borrow this pretty girl's boyfriend and my runaway sister to talk about some private family business," Dean said through gritted teeth before turning toward Jess. "But, uh, nice meeting you."

"No," Sam said sternly. "Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."

Elle shook her head. She was positive Sam wouldn't Jess knowing about this. "Sam, maybe that's not—" she started, but it was Dean who cut her off.

"No, he's right Elle. Besides, she's almost family anyway," Dean said before looking directly at Sam. "Um, here it is. Dad hasn't been home in a few days."

Sam seemed to scoff at Dean. At least Dean had managed to phrase things without giving too much away. He did at least have some tact left. Sam wrapped his arm tighter around Jess before giving Dean a response. "So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later. Always does."

"Sam, it's different this time," Elle added, folding her arms across her chest.

"How?"

"Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days," Dean said solemnly.

"Jess, excuse us. The three of us need to go outside. Now," Sam said.

Sam walked into the bedroom and threw on some different clothes. While he was gone, Dean attempted to sweet talk Jess, but she remained immune to the oldest Winchester sibling's charms. Sam must have told her a little about him, because she remained rather aloof toward him, a much different reaction than Elle had received.

The middle Winchester sibling walked back into the main room before he pointed toward the door. "Don't mind if I do," Dean said walking out the door. Elle followed behind and Sam brought up the rear as they descended the metal staircase. Things already felt tense and they had barely discussed much of anything.

Elle sighed, "Whoever said family reunions were supposed to be enjoyable has never met the Winchesters."

Neither Sam nor Dean made a remark. Clearly, things were not going well. Elle just hoped they could put their difference aside for a few days to find Dad, because honestly, they didn't need any more family drama than they were already dealing with.

#oc #elle winchester #oc imagines #supernatural imagine #oc fanfic #us against the world #oc fanfiction #campbell winchester #winchester sister #sam winchester #dean winchester #i've had two suggestions to post to tumblr so consider this a trial run to see if i like it

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wildernessuntothemselves · 7 years

Text

Loving You To Death (Sequel)

Word Count: 9k Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Author’s Note: This is the sequel to the Free The Animal one-shot.

You feel a strong sense of deja vu as you stand at yet another party watching the black haired asshole groping a girl that is sitting on his lap.

There were slight differences between the two times. This girl is a brunette, they're sitting down, you're alone... but the biggest difference of all is that you know, this time, that Jungkook wouldn't be on your bed later this evening, waiting for you to finish your shower so he can jump on you.

Fuck, you needed another drink.

You stumble to the kitchen, finding yourself a bottle of some unknown drink and attempting to fill up your cup with it, spilling out more on the table than what you actually got into the cup, and realizing just how drunk you already are.

"Here, let me." A deep voice says and you nearly drop the entire thing on the floor, but a hand quickly grabs it before it slips from your grasp.

Your cup gets filled and handed back to you. You scrutinize your surprise companion, taking some time to place his face, but when you do, your face turns beet red in embarrassment and indignation. It was that dude from the movie night, Taehyung.

"I see what you're trying to do and you can forget about it, buddy." You push at his shoulder, or at least you attempt to before getting distracted by the little show of skin covering his collarbone from the force of your punch that had slightly pushed his loose tshirt down his shoulder.

You're snapped out of your daze by the sound of him clearing his throat and you quickly withdraw your hand that had somehow escaped your control and was caressing his pretty, tan skin. "And what is that exactly?"

"You've heard about me and Jungkook breaking up or whatever the fuck you wanna call it and now you're looking to get an easy lay from the college slut, but hell no!" You screech out the last word, making Taehyung covers his ears with a wince.

"I'm not who you think I am and I certainly won't be fucking you." You had intended your tone to be strict and final but towards the end of your sentence, your traitorous eyes zero in on his exposed shoulder again and your hand automatically return to it, "I won't be fucking sexy...gorgeous...panty-dropping...you."

Taehyung gently grabs your hand, putting it by your side then moving a hand to your face and swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. Fuck it, would it really be so bad to give in to him? Sure, one-night stands weren't your thing but you were so fucking horny now that there was no Jungkook to tend to your needs, and you were going to melt into a puddle of your own arousal if Taehyung keeps staring at your lips that way... but then he speaks and you're jolted back to your senses. "You've got a little bit of drool right there." You jump away from him, mortified and wiping at your mouth furiously. Taehyung watches you with amusement which only embarrasses you further.

"I'm not trying to fuck you, ___. At least not right away." He gives you a wink and you wish for nothing more than for an engine to detach from a jet plane flying overhead and fall on you, crushing your body to a pulp. "I actually wanted to ask you out on a date first."

You become irrationally defensive again, even though your mind begs you to shut up, your emotions, coupled with the judgment-impairing effect of the alcohol, crash through any rational thoughts with their tidal waves. "Oh, so you can take me to a movie theater and get me to make myself cum on your thighs? You can drop the holier than thou attitude now. I can read you like a piece of paper." You point at your eyes then at his, so proud of having "exposed" him.

He gives you an unimpressed look, clearly fed up with your intoxicated logic. "I want to take you out on a normal date. To get some coffee or take a walk around the city or, hell, go to a puppy cafe. You said you were into that when all of us last went out and you were trying to drop, pretty heavy if I say so myself, hints to that oblivious idiot."

"Ok first off, I don't know if I should be impressed or creeped out that you remembered that even though it happened months ago but nice dude." You give him two thumbs up before continuing, "News flash, I wasn't dropping the 'oblivious idiot' any hints. I would never go out on a date with him, anyway."

"You weren't? Well, sorry for the misunderstanding. I'm sure staring at someone with stars in your eyes and clutching onto their shirt as if they're the only thing anchoring you to this world while you talk all about your dream date can both be interpreted as a sign of love-sickness as well as utter loathing."

You pout at him, too drunk and tired to argue with his very flawed logic. If you were sober you would have surely taken his argument apart. Surely.

"Don't look at me with those puppy eyes if you don't want me to kiss you." Taehyung groans and you look at him even more confused, the alcohol hindering your understanding to a disabling level.

Taehyung covers his eyes in distress and explains. "Look I really like you. You caught my eyes when we went out and I was going to ask you out then but that thing with the thigh riding happened and I backed off."

Now it was your turn to groan and cover your face. "I'm not looking for just sex. I mean, sex is great and I'm sure asking you out at a party doesn't exactly make me look like someone with the best intentions but..."

You peak through your fingers to look at him, but you can't read him when your vision is so damn hindered right now. You let your hands fall to your sides and you sigh. "I'm flattered, really. I mean look at you. You're so perfect I get uncomfortable looking straight at you. I can't deny that I noticed you too the first time we met and I would be really, painfully stupid to turn you down..." You trail off, not capable of saying it. Your mind protesting against you with all its might.

"But you will anyway." He completes your thought for you and you nod sadly.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. But can I at least know why?" He asks then immediately senses that you are going to protest to his question so he hastens to say, "You claim that I'm perfect so why would you turn me down? Unless you were just lying to me to spare my feelings."

He looks down in utter defeat and you tell him all he wants to know just so you wouldn't die from the guilt at being the source of the unhappiness of such an angelic creature.

"I love someone else." You admit, surprising even yourself, but contrary to you, Taehyung doesn't look the least bit surprised. He looks up at you with a smirk and says, "That's alright. I love someone else too."

"What do you mean?" You cock your head to the side. What was happening?

"I wasn't really hitting on you. I was only pretending to so you would admit that you love him." He states simply as if that explains anything.

Your mind was reeling, "You were pretending? Him? Who's him? I mean yeah Tom Hiddleston is a total knockout but don't you think it's a little--"

"Oh my god, Hwasa was right about you. You're completely hopeless."

"You know Hwasa? How--"

He cuts you off yet again, "Jungkook is him. You're in love with Jungkook."

"Ok first off, if you interrupt me again I will punch you in the balls. Second off, What?!" You yell louder than was probably necessary but you can't judge anything accurately when you were so piss drunk. "Why do people keep saying that? I don't feel anything towards that asshole. He's nothing to me. We're over and I would really appreciate you never bringing him up again." You shriek then add for extra emphasis," Ever. Never ever. Never times infinity, No--" In your zeal to get your point across, most of your drink falls from the cup you were swinging in your hand and splashes all over

Taehyung's clothes. You look dumbly from the drenched boy to your cup that miraculously still held some liquor inside it. You shrug and drink it all in one gulp.

"Well, that's the end of my night." Taehyung sighs, no doubt regretting ever approaching you.

"Bye-bye." You wave, already moving on to refill your drink but a hand stops you. You're ready to yell at whoever it belongs to when you come face to face with Taehyung again. "Oh, it's you."

"You're coming with me." He says matter of fact and starts pulling you along.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going with you. What if you're a serial killer? What if you're the zodiac." You gasp.

"I'm not the Zodiac killer, and I'm taking you home because your brain is clearly malfunctioning right now and I can't leave a friend of Hwasa's behind like that. No, scratch that. I can't leave anyone behind like that."

You weren't seeing common sense at the moment and you continue to fight against his pull, somehow already and fully convinced by your accusation. In truth, you must not have put up that hard of a fight but Taehyung stops along the way anyway, probably because you were screaming too loudly about your conspiracy theory.

"I'm not the Zodiac killer." He says patiently. "Tell her I'm not. I'm trying to get her home before she does anything stupid."

He addresses someone that turns out to be Hwasa. She looks fucked out. Her hair is a mess and there are hickeys all over her neck. You point a finger at her and giggle childishly, "Someone is getting laid tonight."

A light flush dusts her cheeks and she looks towards Taehyung who is wearing a blank look on his face. What the hell? What on earth could make Hwasa flustered? "He's not going to kill you, ___. Taehyung is a friend of mine." She grits her teeth as she says that, "He'll take care of you."

Her words appease you. You were getting too sleepy to protest anyway and the weird tension between Taehyung and Hwasa was giving you a headache. At this point, you didn't care much if he was a serial killer or not. Just as long as he killed you in your sleep. You were almost to his car when you're intercepted by someone. A black haired, doe eyed someone.

"I see how it is. You see me flirting with someone so you decide to go home with him to get back at me. But I'm here to tell you that I don't care. This means nothing to me." Jungkook shouts, equally as drunk as you.

"She may be going home with me but we're not going to have sex. She not as petty as some people." Taehyung answers for you and you feel overwhelmingly thankful to him. You didn't have the energy to argue with Jungkook right now. "And obviously you do care, otherwise you wouldn't be standing here like a tool, yelling at your drunken ex."

You stand on your tippy toes and whisper a thank you in his ear, but your dexterity was taking some time off right now so you end up pushing your lips against his ears which makes Jungkook's eyes go up in a blaze. "Who are you, her fucking lawyer? Shut up." Jungkook sneers and Taehyung wonders how he got himself stuck between these two children.

"You think you're better than me, huh?" He directs his words at you. "You're the pure princess and I'm the bastard who buries himself in pussy to get over you? Well fuck you, you don't get to judge me when you're the one who left me." Jungkook flips you the bird and adds just before storming off, "Not that I care anyway."

"Such a drama queen." You slur, and Taehyung laughs out loud.

You had been awake for a long enough time to have remembered everything from the night before and decided that you would just live out the rest of your days locked up in this room. As far as a guy's room goes, this wasn't the worst one to die in.

Your decision gets challenged bit by bit when you hear a stirring in the living room and, a while later, the delicious smell of eggs and coffee starts drifting down to you. By the time Taehyung comes into the room with a tray full of food, your empty and grumbling stomach had already taken control of your body and launched you at the food.

Taehyung laughs at your eagerness, "You like it? I'm not the best cook, I know."

"Shut up, it's so good." You moan and he laughs again, pleased with himself. Silence falls over you as you both eat and you try to think of a way to run out of here as soon as you're done. But Taehyung has other plans.

"It doesn't have to last forever, you know. It could be the start of something huge or it can go down in flames, but you don't have to kill it before it even starts." He speaks softly and casually, clearly alluding to a relationship with Jungkook.

Your glare loses a bit of its intensity due to the fact that you have your mouth clamped around a piece of toast. He just shakes his head at you, smiling, so you bite off a piece and chew it, swallowing it down before you make another attempt. "Can we not talk about this, like ever?"

"Never to infinity?" He teases and you groan.

"Oh god, how much do I have to pay you to get your memory of last night erased?"

"Not enough, love, not enough." He laughs. "But I'm serious. You should give it a try."

"You're walking on thin ice here, buddy. I didn't forget the way you so blatantly lied to me yesterday and let me drool all over you." You snap. "Is there anything more embarrassing?"

"I don't know but I think Jungkook's impressive display of self-destruction is a strong contender."

You snort, happy that he's the one being shit on for a change.

"He obviously has feelings for you and you do too so why not give it a shot? What have you got to lose?"

"My dignity? My pride? Any respect I have left for myself?"

"Jungkook is not that bad." He tries to say but you shoot him a dirty look. "Alright how about this? You're just as bad."

You scoff, extremely offended by his statement. "I'm sorry but who are you?"

"I'm Taehyung, Hi!" He chirps not the least bit affected by your deadly looks. "I'm a close friend of Hwasa's and so naturally I've heard all about you and Jungkook."

"That bitch, I can't believe she's out there telling my secrets to randos."

"I'm not a rando. I'm Taehyung. I'm the most important guy in Hwasa's life." He boasts. That boy's peppy attitude was unbeatable and nauseating. "If you're so important, why haven't I heard anything about you before, huh?"

KO.

Taehyung looked to be having an existential crisis trying to answer your question. You let him simmer in his own emotions for a little bit before you say, "Maybe you should be focusing on your own shit, bro, before you start dolling out advice to other people."

How did you end up here? You were so adamant about refusing Taehyung's stupid, stupid idea but yet here you are, marching towards Jungkook and his flavor of the week.

They don't stop sucking each other's faces off even when you stop directly in front of them. You clear your throat loudly and finally, Jungkook turns to look at you, not even bothering to separate himself from the girl and letting her continue her kisses down his neck. "I need to talk to you." You grit your teeth and clench your fists. If you had ever wondered, yes, things were much worse up close. "I'm busy." He has the audacity to sound bored as he turns back towards the girl and captures her lips in another disgusting kiss as if you standing in front of him and asking to talk to him was expected. As if he knew you would come to him eventually.

You jerk your head towards Hwasa and Taehyung who were seated a short distance away. Hwasa beckons for you to leave Jungkook and come over but Taehyung pushes her to the side and urges you not to give up. Oh, the torture you would inflict upon him when you're done with this. Just you wait, Taehyung.

You clench your fists tighter and say, "I can see that, but it's really important."

This time, Jungkook doesn't even have the decency to acknowledge you and just pretends like he didn't hear you. You pinch his ear between your fingers and pull him off, hissing at the girl and quieting her protests before they even come out of her mouth, and then you're dragging Jungkook away.

When you reach a place that's out of the girl's earshot, you release him and start talking. "Listen carefully because I won't be saying this twice."

"Why should I listen to anything you have to say when you forcefully got me here? I could report you for assault, you know?" "How much stronger than me do you think you are Jungkook?" You pause but you aren't really expecting a reply. His silence is reply enough. "Exactly. You want to know what I'm here to say."

"Jungkook, I..." You try to get the words out but you immediately lose your courage so you take a deep break and try again. "What I want to say is that I... the thing is...um..."

You felt nauseous as if the words were bad food that needed to get out so you'd feel better, and that's exactly why you dig your nails into your palms and force them out, "I like you."

You open your eyes that you didn't realize you had closed and you see a retort forming on his tongue so you continue because if he stops you, you won't be able to pick up again. "And I know you like me. I know it. And I'm willing to give this a chance. To give us a chance. So I'm swallowing my pride and standing here to ask you out on a date. Friday at Costos. Be there at eight sharp or lose this chance forever."

As soon as you finish your little speech you turn around and quickly walk away, trying to avoid hearing any comment from him. Still, something manages to reach your ears.

"Crazy bitch."

You close your eyes and walk faster.

Hwasa had freaked when she heard the details of what happened, hitting Taehyung on the head hard enough for him to lose a few IQ points, though in your opinion his brain didn't have much to begin with if it was the one that came up with this ridiculous plan. She urged you not to go on this "date". She was convinced that Jungkook wouldn't show up, and if he did, it would only be to humiliate you further. Taehyung, on the other hand, believed that Jungkook would be there waiting for you and you'd talk things through and everything would be alright. You believed Hwasa. She was one hundred percent right, and you knew it.

So why was it now 9:30 and you were still sitting alone at a table at Costos?

Karma's a bitch. You learned the truth of that today. Luckily you were on the right side of it.

You're on your bed. The bed that had witnessed countless nights of you crying yourself to sleep over that same dark-haired bastard now on his knees in front of you, mouth silent but face and body loud. He wanted that chance back. The one he threw away. You had said forever so you should keep your word. You should keep it and watch him suffer, and you shouldn't be swayed by the way he softly kisses your palms and almost sniffles up at you with those eyes that held all the stars in the universe inside of them...

"Why didn't you take your chance when you had it?" You say monotonously, keeping any emotion out of your voice.

"Why did you break it off with me?" His knee-jerk temper comes out.

"You really think you have any right to be asking questions here? You blew it, Jungkook, and tonight you're here to prove to me you deserve another chance so I would try not to be a smartass if I were you. Otherwise, you know where the door is."

Jungkook swallows heavily and lowers his eyes to the floor. You wait for a while, giving him the chance to get out if he wants, but also leaving him to his emotions, knowing they'd do a much better job of tearing at him than you would.

When he stays, you ask your question again. "Why didn't you take the chance I gave you?"

"I thought I didn't want it."

You grab his chin and make him look up at you, "I want to see your face so if you're lying to me, I'd remember that you did it right to my face."

Jungkook seems unsettled by that and when you ask your question a third time, he gives a different answer, "I thought you were playing a trick on me. I thought it was another one of your jokes." At your confused look, he elaborates. "The one you told me the last time we were together. About how fucking hilarious the thought of dating me was. That the idea of introducing me to your mother was so incredibly funny you couldn't breathe."

It was the first confession from him tonight but you were already fighting to keep your bewilderment in. "You don't want to meet my mother, Jungkook." You state and bite back your agitation.

"How do you know? You never bothered to ask me."

"Well, do you?" You sigh.

"No, but I would've done it for you, like every other bastard out there who has to suck up to his girlfriend's parents."

"I wasn't your girlfriend."

"Then what role was Jin playing, huh? Your gay best friend?"

You dig your nails into his cheeks, silently warning him about his snarky attitude. "If you were so sure about that then why didn't you tell me so?"

He scoffs, "I knew I cared but I didn't know you did. You never gave me that impression. You never even batted an eyelash at me whenever I hooked up with other girls except to look at me like a pathetic manwhore."

You suck a breath through your gritted teeth, holding back your white-hot anger and asking slowly, "Jungkook, did you fuck other girls just to spite me?"

He doesn't reply but he keeps his jaw set and his head high, refusing to let himself feel ashamed at the actions he was quickly starting to realize were utterly idiotic. You push him away from you and he falls back on his elbows, watching your face get swallowed by your hair as you process the sheer amount of his stupidity, and his heart stops for s second when you snap your head up to look at him, your outrage simmering right below the surface.

"So what changed now? Why did you suddenly decide to risk it and come to me? You could still be right about me."

"I don't care about my ego anymore. I'm willing to risk it even if you end up shattering my pride into a million pieces."

"You're the guy who made my life a living hell for the past few months. Are you really sure you want to hand your pride over to me?"

"Yes." He says it without even a hint of hesitation, and that placates you a little bit.

"Then prove it." You trail a foot up his thighs, over his chest and let it hover in front of his mouth. "Kiss."

To your surprise, he obeys right away, planting kisses up the expanse of your sole and towards your toes where he lovingly gives each one a kiss.

You decide to challenge him a little more, pushing your toes against his lips and telling him to lick them. Again, you're surprised by how easily he obeys. You know your feet aren't dirty, you had gone straight from your nightly shower to your bed where Jungkook ambushed you so they were as clean as could be, but still, it got to you how readily the usually super dominant guy gave up his pride for you.

You're also surprised by how much this affected you. You weren't sure if it was because of the lengths Jungkook was prepared to go to earn another chance with you or because you actually liked it, but you found the moans easy on your lips at the occasional graze of his tongue against your skin as he alternated between kissing your toes and sucking on them, sends electric sparks right to your core. He seemed like he was satisfied with having any part of you after those long months of separation, and he relished in it.

You withdraw your foot back, needing to touch him so you wouldn't feel like you were the only one affected by this, but when you look down at his crotch, you see the tent already formed there. "Fuck, Jungkookie, you're going to kill me. Take your cock out for me, baby."

When he unzips his pants and pushes his boxers down, his cock springs free, hard and leaking. "Take off that shirt too. Don't want to ruin your 11th favorite white shirt." You mock, pushing his cock against his abdomen with your foot the second he takes his shirt off and rubbing it up and down his length.

"Does that feel nice, sir." You tease, smirking at him from your position of power.

A glint flashes across his eyes but he remains still, "Yes, baby girl."

"Do you think you can cum like this? With my foot jerking you off? Are you that desperate for my forgiveness? For my touch?"

"I can do anything for you, baby. I'll fucking learn to cum on command if you want." He moans. "All you have to do is give me another chance."

You lean to the side, opening a drawer on your bedside table and getting a bottle of lube out, emptying a good portion of it on his dick. Jungkook shudders when he feels the cool liquid touch him, and he throws his head back with a sigh when you foot starts moving on him again, faster and easier with the help of the lubrication.

"What if I decide you're not worth it. What if I only want you back as a fuck toy. You have a great dick, and you fuck me with it so well, but your attitude..." You press down with your toes on his the head of his cock, wiggling them around and smearing the precum that was leaking out. He was a sight to behold, spread out beneath you and arching himself into your foot as if it was the single thing that could give him pleasure in this world.

Jungkook bites his lip to keep his grunts of pleasure from turning into full-fledged moans, "No. If you want me back, you'll have to take all of me. No more games."

"Even if let you hold me down and fuck me to your heart's content right now instead of getting this lousy footjob?" You taunt him.

"I said no." He maintains with no small effort on his part.

You must say you are impressed. You practically feel the desire barely contained in his body, and what you are giving him right now isn't nearly enough to satisfy him, yet he will not give in. He really wanted that chance.

"Alright, I accept." You say, and he doesn't have time to process his surprise and happiness because you fit as much of his cock as you can between your second and big toe and stroke him rapidly, your foot gliding easily up and down his length with the generous amount of lube you had used.

God, you had missed his moans. They weren't just monotonous sounds like you were used to with other guys. Jungkook always produced a delicious variety of noises: needy, assertive, breathy, broken,... He never held back.

"I'm cumming, baby, please don't stop." His hips move up and down against the direction of your movement, maximising his pleasure, and you snake a hand between your legs, unable to handle the pressure building up in there anymore.

Jungkook sees what you're doing and he swats your hand away and presses his thumb against your clothed clit, rubbing vigorously, "There, you need to do it much faster, baby. I want you there with me."

In response, you put your other foot on his balls, lightly massaging them, knowing the faster you make him cum, the faster you get your own release.

"Fuck, baby, do that a little harder and I'll cum." He growls so you obey and it doesn't take two seconds before you feel his balls tighten underneath your foot and you see his white cum shooting from his tip. Your vision goes blurry after that as your own orgasm rips through you. Your whole body shakes with the pleasure and when it's over, you slump forward, Jungkook catching you and lowering you gently on his body.

"Ew," You complain, feeling his sticky release clinging to your nightshirt. "That's gross, Jungkook!"

But Jungkook just laughs and rubs his body against you, making more cum stick to you as you fight futilely to free yourself from his hold. When the laughter dies down, Jungkook turns you over, pressing your back to the floor and hovering over you, making you look at him.

"I was honest with you. It's time you do the same."

"Yes," You sigh, knowing there was no escaping this part so you just comply. "I laughed at the thought of you and me dating, at how ridiculous it would have been if you played the role of the dutiful boyfriend and went with me to visit my parents. I laughed because that's not you. It's not us, but it doesn't mean it couldn't have been. I was just trying to protect myself."

Your eyes take on a dark look as you continue, "I fucking cared about you hooking up with other girls. It bothered me even before I knew why. But what did you expect me to do about it? Go over and beg the guy who never gave me a reason to believe he returned my feelings to stop breaking my heart? I did what I could; not fucking other people." The heavy blame in your voice isn't lost on him.

"I had to. I couldn't let myself get too comfortable with you. I had to remind myself that we weren't together."

"That's fucking stupid--"

"Don't you think I know that?" For the first time tonight, his eyes look at you with the same rage and accusation you dealt him with as he sits up to look at you. "When have I not been stupid when it came to you? But don't fucking act like you didn't encourage it. Should I remind you exactly how many times you rejected me and told me to go fuck other girls for the night?"

"I didn't mean it." You tried defending yourself. You had only said that to appear nonchalant, but you didn't really want him to do it. You wanted him to refuse, to try just a little harder. But Jungkook doesn't want to hear your excuses.

"Seven times." You answer again, recounting them easily. How could you forget when each time branded your heart?

"Why?" He demanded.

You shrug, "The same reason you listened to me. I didn't want to get too attached." You press your fingers against your temples, feeling a headache creeping in.

"We're fucking dumb." He says and falls on his back beside you.

"That we are." You grunt in agreement.

As expected, Hwasa is totally against what you were doing. She'd seen how broken up you were about being rejected by him, and she thought that he didn't deserve you forgiving him so easily, or at all. She said that you're just teaching him that there will be no consequences to his actions with you, and you won't be able to come back from this.

Taehyung continued to be present at every possible moment to never allow her the chance to change your mind. He was always at her throat whenever you'd seem like you were swaying in her direction. Or at least that's what it must have seemed like to her. To you, he was just the dork who was concerning himself with the problems of a total stranger just so he could spend all the time he can with his crush. Sometimes you thought that the real two idiots were them.

The first few dates are spent in silence that is broken in several places by one of you trying to start up a conversation that dies just as quickly as it begins. Each time you'd get up to leave, the frustration overwhelming you, he'd hold you down and convince you to stay. His eyes haunted with a memory you didn't share of the time he gave up his chance with you, and the fear in his eyes is enough to make you sit back down every time. Jungkook is a smart guy, and he catches on quick. He realizes that cliche dates weren't the way to go. It was never you from the start. You needed something that would kick-start your passionate personalities and he knew just the thing.

"An arcade, seriously? What are we five?"

"Ok first off, arcade games are ageless, you soulless monster. Second of all, can you stop being a bitch for just a second and try to see that I'm making an effort here?"

"There are children here. You shouldn't swear." You cross your arms and jerk your head towards the multiple small heads turned in your direction. You didn't really care about them, but bickering with him was your oxygen.

"Oh, I'm sorry, kids," Jungkook says in a baby voice. "My girlfriend won't stop being a cunt and I have to be like this so she'd get my words through her thick fucking skull. One day you'll have bitchy girlfriends too and you'll understand." "Are you done?" You sneer at him.

"Yes. Man, I really needed to get that out of my system. I feel so much better now."

Despite your initial aversion to the childish and stupid date, you gradually loosen up as time goes by and you see how seriously Jungkook gets into even the silliest games. You should find it immature but somehow this time you don't. Instead, you find it endearing, the way he looks with his black snapback and black hoodie, body way bigger than anyone else in the room but face more intense too, and you start noticing little things about him you never noticed before. Like how he prods his tongue against the inside of his cheek when he's losing or how he jerks his head to the side when he's nervous about something. You're surprised he doesn't notice you staring.

You don't fully let go though until you find that Dance Dance Revolution game you used to play all the time when you were a kid. Jungkook notices the way your eyes sparkle with memories and he challenges you to a game.

"Let's play that one." He points to it.

"I don't know. It looks silly." You try to hide the way you're longingly eyeing it from the corner of your eyes.

"___, I can see you looking at it. You look like a child at a candy store. Unstuck that stick from your ass and come play."

Before the game starts, you keep up a humble front, knowing that Jungkook is an amazing dancer and you can't dance to save your life. Why was this game your favorite anyway?

Then you remember that it had nothing to do with dance skills and everything to do with crude speed. You aren't so gracious when you actually end up winning, jumping up and down in Jungkook's face, gloating. You also discover that Jungkook is a sore loser.

You both spend the entire day dragging each other to games you know you excel at so you'd beat each other and get the upper hand, fighting kids for the best games, and stuffing your faces with snacks and candy.

In the end, the total tally sums up to a crushing win for Jungkook 15 to 7. As a peace offering, he buys you a giant stuffed golden retriever toy with the large number of prize tickets he had won in the games.

You look him up and down in distaste, "That's got to be the lamest shit ever."

He frowns and throws the stuffed toy at you. " Just accept the fucking gift."

You were poking out your tongue at him when you feel something grab at your waist, making you shriek and stumble back, falling on your ass. You look up to see who your assailant is and come face to face with a boy that couldn't be older than three, and behind him, Jungkook laughing his ass out. "Careful, baby, he might bite."

You ignore him and look at the kid, trying to figure out what he wanted but he stays silent so you try asking him but he doesn't even acknowledge your words.

You get up slowly, keeping an eye on the kid and clutching the stuffed puppy to your chest as if it would protect you like the real thing. "Jungkook, what does it want?" You ask, creeped out.

He walks over to you and bends down, furrowing his eyebrows as he scrutinizes the child's face, "I think it wants your toy."

"Then give it to it." You cry, pushing the toy away from you but Jungkook snatches it out of your hand before you could give it to the boy. "No way, I won that for you with my sweat and blood. Go along now, brat, shoo." Jungkook waves his hands in the air, trying to get the kid to leave but he doesn't even flinch so Jungkook flicks his forehead, and suddenly all hell breaks loose. The kid starts screaming which makes you start screaming which makes Jungkook start screaming.

Your boyfriend shoves the toy back into your arms and picks you up, making a run for it. Your screams turn into maniacal laughter somewhere between the front of the arcade and your favorite ice cream store a block away.

You fall asleep that night with the taste of chocolate on your lips and the large stuffed toy squished between your bodies.

If you gave the impression that your relationship with Jungkook was easy then that was not the case at all. You were both as stubborn and confrontational as ever, and you never liked to lose. You still argue all the time, except now you are honest with the bullshit you were fighting about instead of running around the subject. You had agreed on the day that you got back together that you would be honest with each other about anything that ever upset you so that you could prevent any further misunderstandings. But all that admirable honestly got you was a headache, as any small discontent that either of you felt resulted in endless and meaningless arguments. Like right now.

"Would it have killed you to ask me about it first?" Jungkook yells, slamming the door to your apartment with such force that you half expect it to fall from its hinges.

"I didn't ask you because I didn't think it would be a big deal. I still don't think it's a big deal!" Your body was thrumming with heat and if you are being honest, you were beginning to forget what you were arguing about anyway.

"You didn't think it would be a big deal?!" He bellows and you almost press your hands against your ears to protect them, if you didn't know that that would only anger him further. "You went out and-- Are you fucking turned on right now?!" Jungkook cries incredulously and you look up at him like a deer caught in headlights, ceasing the way you were rubbing your thighs together needily.

"I can't help it." You whine, "When you get all boss like and domineering, I get horny. It's classical conditioning."

"Then stop it. You're not a fucking animal. I'm serious about this. You can't get out of every argument like this."

"Believe me, I'm not trying to get out of anything. All I wanna do is prove to you how wrong you are." You glare but it quickly turns into a pout, and you can't stop your hands from feeling yourself up, one hand going to your breasts and the other to your pussy. "But I'm so hornyyy."

Jungkook rips off his tie and rolls his sleeves up, "Well, you can forget about it. I'm not fucking you until we're done with this."

You bit your lips, looking at the way his forearm muscles bulge against the rolled up sleeves and you imagine all the ways his hands can break you.

"Now you're just teasing!" You moan, falling to your knees and starting to crawl towards him, not caring one bit about ruining your fancy dress. "If I admit defeat and apologize right now will you fuck me?"

You could see the desire swirling around in his eyes as you reach him and look up at him pleadingly, but he tries his best to stay strong. "No." He presses his lips into a thin line.

You ignore him and run your hands up the back of his legs until you reach his ass and squeeze them tightly so he'd push his crotch towards your face. You start planting kisses there, interspersing them with overly emotional sorry's, until you can tell the exact outline of his cock as it hardens fully.

"Is what I did really so bad you're not willing to fuck me even though I'm on my knees, so wet, and ready for your hard cock?" You wrap your lips around his head, sucking on it through the clothes and he can't stop the little jerk of his hips towards you.

"Yes." He grits out, clearly already gone.

You palm him, swirling your index finger around his head and emphasizing every word with a stroke of your hand up his length, "I'm. really. really. sorry."

Jungkook pushes your hands away and unzips his dress pants, kicking them off along with his boxers, then twisting your hair around his hand and pulling on it roughly, "I'll fucking show you sorry." He promises, before pushing his entire length down your awaiting throat. Like second nature, you relax your throat and breathe through your nose, and Jungkook gives you a pat on the head and whispers 'good girl' before he begins thrusting into you deep and slow. "If this is the way you want to settle every argument then why don't you just cut to the chase and start sucking me off every time you disagree with me." Jungkook chuckles and takes his now well-lubricated cock out of your mouth and rests it on your face across your forehead and down the bridge of your nose. "It would definitely put a spin on some people's days."

"Yes, sir. You're so smart, sir." You smirk, not caring one bit about the disgusting mess Jungkook's dick was leaving on your face as you pull one of his balls into your mouth and suck on it.

Jungkook sucks in a breath, "I would never have come back if it wasn't for that talented mouth of yours. If only you weren't using it to bitch and whine all the time, you would've been the perfect fuck." Jungkook jeered.

You take him out of your mouth, stroking him with your hand instead, "Oh please, you're whipped for me, baby. I can insult and mock you all day and you'd still eat out of the palm of my hand."

You yelp when Jungkook suddenly pulls you up and carries you to the dinning table, putting you on it and pushing the skirt of your dress up to your waist.

"Damn right." He says under his breath, tearing your underwear off. He puts your feet on each side of you, spreading your legs and bearing your pussy to him, and runs two fingers through your folds, studying the way your arousal completely soaks them. "How long were you this wet?"

"Too long, sir. Please give me more." Just one touch from him and you were already giving in. He moves his fingers in wide circles over your inner lips, giving just the right pressure on your sensitive skin and you reflexively try to close your legs, the pleasure too much for you. He slaps your pussy and orders you to keep them open, but that only makes you cry out his name and jerk your legs closed.

Curious by your reaction, he spreads your legs again and holds them apart, rubbing his fingers up and down the length of your pussy multiple times then removing his hold on your legs and slapping your pussy. You cry out his name again and clutch tightly on his shirt, ripping off a few buttons from the force.

"Now, look what you've done, darling." He chastises you like a misbehaving child, and you whimper underneath his hard gaze. "You deserve what's coming for you."

He orders you to stay where you are then he heads to the bedroom and disappears, leaving you to your imagination that paints all kinds of impossible punishments he could unleash on you. When he steps out of the bedroom, his shirt is gone and he has a large stretch of robe in his hands. You immediately begin pleading with him when you see it, not wanting to be tied up.

"Sir, please no. I'll be good, I swear. I'm your good girl. Please don't do this, please." You beg and plead even when he ignores you and starts trying you up, spreading your legs and fixing each of your wrists to the ankle on its side, physically preventing you from closing your legs again.

Finally, he addresses you, "There, now I won't even have to ask." He smiles evilly then moves his two fingers back to your pussy, this time lining them up with your entrance and pushing in.

"No, sir, stop, I can't take it like this." You protest which only makes him pump his fingers harder.

"Oh please, keep whining like that, darling. You know how much it turns me on."

You pant, trying with all your might to pull your hands out of the secure knots he put them in but that only makes you spread your legs wider. "Sir, please, I beg you." You whimper, not knowing if you were really trying to get him to stop or trying to get him to go harder on you.

He goes with the latter anyway, and pushes another finger into you, pumping the three of them ruthlessly in and out of you. The wet and sloppy sounds of him fingering you echo around the living room along with your desperate moans.

"Look at my fingers. They're all covered in your juice and you're still trying to protest. What a naughty girl."

You look down to see that not only his fingers but his entire palm was getting coated in your arousal. You shouldn't have looked down because now you can't tear your eyes off his large hand nestled between your legs and the blurring of his fingers as they go in and out of you.

"Sir, sir, I'm going to cum." You moan, but he doesn't give you any response except to increase his speed even more, and soon enough you're crashing through your orgasm, clenching around his fingers that were still pumping into you.

And they keep pumping even when your orgasm is long over and you're begging him to stop. "It's too much, please. I can't take it. My pussy is going to break, please, no more." You shout, tears stinging your eyes."

"Aw, are you going to cry? Cry for me, baby girl, cry."

You stop holding in your tears, thinking it would make him stop but he doesn't. He doesn't stop even when your throat turns raw from all your crying and moaning. He doesn't stop when your words come out shaky and cut off from the way your whole body moves with his fingers. He only stops when you orgasm a second time, screaming out his name with tears streaming down your face.

You feel the knots around your wrists and ankles loosen and get taken off one by one, soft lips kissing all along the marks left on them. When your heart slows down to a regular beat and you can breathe again, you feel something hard and velvety pressing against your entrance.

"Can you take it, baby?" Jungkook whispers and you look up to see his pupils blown out so much that there was barely a rim of brown irises left around them, and you know you could never tell him no.

He keeps his pace soft and gentle, just enjoying the feeling of you around him and listening for any sign of discomfort that might break through your quiet pants. You don't know how long he kept this up, and you admire his level of control as you feel his cock continuously pulsating inside of you, yet he makes no move to go faster.

It's you who finally urges him to do it when you feel that damn knot forming in your lower belly again, and Jungkook is more than happy to oblige. The remaining bits of pleasure and pain from your last orgasm build upon the new one forming inside of you and it's not long before you're moaning and desperate in Jungkook's arms again.

He chuckles at your ability to bounce back that fast, and his hands grab you ass firmly, pulling you off the table and making you wrap your legs around him for dear life. He starts thrusting up into you while moving your whole body up and down on his dick with his hands.

"Show off." You groan, feeling like you were getting impaled on his dick with the way he lifted you up and dropped you down on it. He was fast and rough, and you didn't know how the hell he was doing it. It's like you didn't weigh more than a feather. He only went harder the closer he got to his release.

You reach your end before him, throwing your head back and screaming out his name through your abused throat. Jungkook lets out a pained groan and slips out of you, leaving you to contract around nothing.

He sets you down on your feet and pins your front against the wall, hooking his arm under one of your knees and lifting your leg up as far as it will go then he thrusts back into you, his pace crazed and needy.

Your body felt like it was on fire. Here you were, wearing on of your fanciest dresses, with your cum and sweat staining and ruining it possibly beyond repair, pushed face first against the wall and getting rammed from behind by the sexiest motherfucker you've ever laid eyes upon as he grunts and moans in your ear, and you feel your fourth orgasm of night building up inside of you.

"You're going to make me cum, Jungkook." You whimper, and you can feel his hips falter for a split second at your words. "Fuck, again?"

"Yeah, that's how sexy you are, baby." You praise, shuddering at the deep moan he lets out. "But, I need you to cum first. You deserve it, baby, go on."

Jungkook doesn't answer you with words, instead, you feel his hot seed shooting up inside of you and his hands marking bruises on your skin as his hips gives a couple of last thrusts into you, triggering your final release. You can't let out anything except hoarse moans and raptured thanks that Jungkook swallows all with a kiss.

"Shower sex?" You suggest cheekily after you've calmed down.

"You damn nymphomaniac." He exclaims and gives you a sweet peck on the cheek, "But I believe there is still an argument to have."

You smirk, "So shower sex, then?"

"No, I fucked you out so you'd have no more excuses to hide behind. We're having this discussion."

You groan in defeat. Why did you have to date such a stubborn asshole?

"Jungkookie, are you awake?" You whisper to him one night, but he doesn't respond.

So you deliver a punch to his stomach, jerking him awake, disoriented and in pain.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" You say, not the least bit sorry. Jungkook gives you a dirty look then lays back on the bed, wrapping you in his arms in a gesture that was both sweet and cunning as he successfully pins your arms and legs down.

"What do you want?" He grunts.

"We will never last." You brood.

"I know." He replies curtly, clearly unhappy that you woke him up just to say this.

"Relationships like ours always burn out fast."

"I know."

"And their end is always really ugly."

"I know."

"Well, don't you care?" You snap, irritated by his non-answers.

"I would rather spend whatever time I have with you and get out with an ugly scar to show for it than never have had the chance to love you from the start." Comes his unexpected and sweet reply, showing he must've thought about this before. "Now shut up and sleep, and if you wake me up again, this relationship is over."

You stay quiet for a minute then you whisper with a smile on your face, "Gay."

You let the laughter rumbling inside his chest carry you off to the loveliest dreams.

Author’s Note: I regret Everything

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