#it's so important to me that they forgive each other

[devinedoll]

Ex!Rafe who’s lowkey talking to someone new and Ex!Reader, who decided she’s taking a dating break, finally see each other again, and ofc Rafe can’t let her leave again without taking what’s his so they both say “just the tip” and the tip doesn’t work so they try cock warming, and reader can’t stay still so she’s bouncing in his lap till they both cum 😫

okay so i just wrote something very similar to this request but i liked them both so much i had to write them.

he spots you on the other side of the country club, sitting at the bar with your friends, plush tits busting out of the baby blue dress he loved so much.

he thinks you must do it on purpose. sitting here so perfect, long legs crossed at the knee and lips glossed.

it’s why he charms you away, asking you to talk to him outside, telling you he has something so important to discuss.

whatever was so important ends up with you pressed against the side of his truck, mouths mushed against each other in sheer desperation, “not sure your new girlfriend would approve of this rafe.” you mumble against his lips.

he just shakes his head, bending down a bit to capture your puffy bottom lip, sucking the sensitive plumpness into his mouth.

“she won’t know.” he announces, sounding more like an oath to himself than anything else. it was a futile declaration, you both knew it.

he picks you up, large hands under the expanse of your waxed thighs, “in the truck yeah?”

once he’s got you in there, placed on his lap all pretty, grinding against him through his khaki shorts, you tease him a bit more.

“you told me you’re not a cheater.” you smile at him, batting your thick lashes as you pull your panties to the side inconspicuously, ensuring you stain the front of his shorts.

he scoffs, “said that to you, didn’t i?”

and shame on you, that makes you happy, biting your lip with a pleased hum of acknowledgment.

“just the tip, yeah?” he asks, eyes shutting momentarily when he sees the patch you left for him. he pulls his cock out, stroking it with a closed fist, “you’ll be good?”

you nod, but the second you feel the thick, hot stretch of him you can’t help yourself, sinking down on him entirely.

the sound he releases is pornographic, a pained groan that makes you giggle, “m’sorry rafe.” you pout, beginning to bounce on his erection, pulling down the top of your dress to expose your chest, “m’sure she’ll forgive you.”

[t-r99]

Stay

Rin pushed everyone away in order to train to become the best, but that was a mistake.

the more i read it, the more i hate it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Itoshi Rin x reader

wc: 2.4k

Even though Rin has hated being at home ever since his brother came back from Spain, it was impossible to spend every single moment outside the house. Every morning he went out, not caring if Sae would be home or not, and spent the day out until nightfall. Blue Lock, while not particularly enjoyable at first, had still been an escape and kept Rin far away from Sae.

The only thing he missed was . . .

No. No, no more of that. He has more important things to think about. Crushing Sae and becoming the world's best are no longer his only goals, beating Isagi is now on the list, too.

Rin sighs. It's getting late.

He's barely two minutes from home when he sees you, feeling like he's been punched in the gut. You're standing outside your house and carrying a plastic bag with the logo of the small convenience store five minutes away. It almost slips from your grasp when you spot Rin.

The last time you actually spoke to each other was right here, in front of your house. It was snowing that evening, too, quiet and calm just as it is now.

I shouldn't, You tell yourself. You almost want to start an argument with him but you just can't be bothered. Rin already made what he wanted clear months ago so you just look away from him and say, "Congrats on winning."

Rin doesn't have a right to feel down, he knows that. He doesn't get to be upset that your voice is colder than the snow and ice around him, this was his own doing.

"Excuse me."

"Wait." The word flies out of his mouth before he even realizes it. Rin gulps, feeling way to warm all of a sudden. "Wait." He repeats, more quiet this time.

"Why?"

You don't turn to him, and why would you? Rin thinks back to that damned evening when his brother came home and proceeded to crush Rin's dreams and break his spirit down.

He gulps again. "Can we talk?"

"No."

He doesn't have the right to demand, he knows that. Rin doesn't get to make any demands after ending your lifelong friendship out of the blue. He was hurting back then and he just wanted to die, but he knows it's not an excuse.

"At least stand by what you said." You say it so quietly that he almost doesn't hear.

Rin wishes he could take it back. "What I said was wrong."

"Saying that won't erase it." You push the gate to your house open and close it behind you, not saying bye or good night as you walk inside.

Rin thinks back to when he ended your friendship. Looking back now, he knows that he hurt you just as badly as Sae hurt him. He was being unfair when he took his pain and frustrations out on you.

Rin wishes he was strong and brave enough to go and knock on your door and ask to talk again.

He wants to apologize, not beg for forgiveness. You don't owe him your forgiveness, but he definitely owes you a proper apology.

Rin sighs and whispers your name to himself. "Good night."

*

It's awkward at home.

Rin hates having to live under the same roof as Sae again. He spent all those years waiting for his brother to come home only for the bastard to stomp on what was once their shared dream and spit down upon Rin like he was nothing.

He just can't bring himself to say anything to their parents, and neither can Sae. There are times when Rin thinks he's hallucinating, brief moments when Sae's typical stoic expression changes and Rin swears he can see sadness on his brother's face.

It only pisses him off.

Rin gets particularly angry one evening and heads out after dinner, telling his parents he's taking a late walk. It ends up being quite a short one when he comes to a halt only a few houses down.

On the other side of the road, your house is mostly dark except for a single lit up room. Yours.

Rin remembers your shared childhood and teenage years fondly. He helped you decorate your room when you were ten years old and your family moved into that house. Well, Sae was there, too, but screw his bitch ass.

Speaking of him, though, if Sae was next to Rin right now he would probably call his little brother tepid, and a coward.

Rin looks up at your window. Your blinds are down, but the light is on. Are you home alone, or is your family already in bed? Should he go and ring the doorbell? Text you? Call? What if you've blocked him? Rin wouldn't know, he never called or texted you after that evening, after all.

Ah, forget it. You don't want to see him anyways and he knows it.

Rin lowers his head and walks away instead. Maybe he can find the courage to try to talk to you in a few days, before he returns to Blue Lock.

It starts to snow as he walks.

He thinks back to that evening after losing the one on one against Sae. They walked home together, but not side by side like Rin had grown up hoping they would after Sae's return from Spain. He had walked a few steps behind his older brother, absolutely crushed. They were both silent while walking, the only sound coming from them walking in the snow and Sae pulling his suitcase behind him.

You spotted the brothers outside and welcomed Sae home, but it quickly became obvious that he wasn’t happy to be back. Rin looked even worse than his brother and ignored you. He met you in school the next day and you were being your usual self, but Rin had changed. He didn't look at you, only told you to leave him alone. Of course you asked what was wrong, but he only repeated himself and told you to shut your mouth.

Damn, why did he do that?

He will never forget the talk you had outside your house.

What an idiot Rin had been.

His walk takes him around the neighborhood and past your house again. Rin keeps his head down and forces himself to not look at your house where you are, whom he so desperately wishes he could talk to.

*

It's snowing.

You sit in silence and watch it snow in silence for so long that you completely lose track of time. It's always nice to be home alone and sit by the window like this, watching the snow fall.

It takes you by surprise to see Rin outside. His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets, head held down and walking at a slow pace.

Maybe you should . . .

No, no, no. How could you ever forget what he said? The kindest thing he called you back then was a stupid and naive brat and to stay the fuck away from him. Why would you ever agree to talk to him now?

Stupid Rin, You think.

You're even dumber than him.

As fast as you can, you run downstairs and bolt out of the house, almost slipping a few times.

"Rin! Rin!"

He freezes.

You feel stupid now. This is probably a bad idea. "You wanted to talk." You feel awkward. Ideally you would have a speech planned and call him out for his words and actions, but instead you find yourself unprepared to talk to him and your mind goes blank.

Rin turns. There's so much he wants to say.

"Rin . . ." Your vision blurs as tears build up but you won't look away, keeping your gaze locked with his. "Why did you say all that?"

To say that he was hurting would be a coward's answer. Rin wishes he could give you a reason that doesn't hurt you even more. If he tells you that he was hurt himself then you'll ask him why he would end your friendship rather than come to you for support and he doesn't have an answer to that.

Shit, he's so pathetic.

"It was wrong." Rin finally says.

"Yes it was." You say, voice so harsh it almost makes him flinch. "That's not what I was asking, though."

He really has nothing. Rin's mind goes blank as he tries to figure out what to say. He's so used to being in control of every situation he's in that this feels nerve wracking.

His silence makes you sigh and look down. "I see." You murmur.

Wait, you're not going back inside are you? Rin can't let you walk away now, you'll never talk to him again. He doesn't want to live and chase his dreams if you're not at his side.

Rin doesn't think, he just acts.

He quickly rushes up to you, arms wrapping around and holding you tight. He hasn't hugged you like this since you were children, not realizing just how badly he missed it.

"R- Rin . . . ?"

He just squeezes tighter and hides his face in his shoulder. It feels good to hold you like this.

"Come inside, it's cold."

*

"What I said was wrong." Rin says again. He doesn't know what else to say other than admitting his words were cruel and wrong that day.

"So what made you say it?"

"It was . . ." Rin's sitting on your mattress, cross legged with his hands on his knees. He's uncomfortable and tensed up, certain you will tell him to piss off and never talk to him again once he's done telling you what happened. "My brother came home . . ." His nails dig into his jeans. "I was so happy to see him but he," Rin gulps. “he was different."

It doesn't take him long to tell you. After all, it's such a short story. All Sae did was show up, beat Rin, and use as few words as possible to crush his dream.

"Rin,"

"I wasn't really thinking back then."

"Rin,"

He holds his own knees tightly. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I know that now." He squeezes his eyes shut as tears start to build up.

"Rin."

"I- I'm . . . I'm sorry that I-"

"Rin."

He finally stops, looking up at you with a gasp.

"Why didn't you talk to me?"

That's a good question. Why didn't Rin just talk to you instead? "I don't . . . know . . ." He mumbles, looking down in shame.

It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't take away the pain he caused you. It only tells you why he did. It's ridiculous. All this over a damn sport . . .

"I get it . . ." Rin said quietly. "I get it if you never walk to talk to me again. I just . . . I wanted to apologize."

"No need."

"Huh . . . ?" Rin looks up at you.

You're looking out the window. "I won't forgive you anyway."

He knew that already. Why would you ever forgive him?

Rin gulps as he watches you in silence. He's never seen you sad before. You've always had a smile on your face, but he changed that. Rin's dumb ass hurt you enough to erase your smile and he hates himself for it.

Rin forces himself to say, "I get it."

"Hey, Rin . . ."

He feels a sliver of hope. "Yeah?"

"Did beating Sae-san make you feel any better?"

Maybe it did a little bit in the moment, but Sae managed to ruin that, too. He didn't acknowledge Rin as a striker, or even praise him. Sae hadn't even said something as simple as a quick, "That was a good match."

Was it worth it? Was pushing everyone, including you, away worth it? Sure, Blue Lock won and Rin beat Sae in that final moment, but now he realizes how stupid it was to end your friendship all in the name of dedicating his life to training and bettering himself.

"It wasn't worth it." Rin knows it's stupid to say that. He knows that it'll only hurt you more but he doesn't want to lie to you. "I shouldn't have hurt you."

"Dumbass."

Yeah, you're not wrong there. Rin really is a dumbass. "You're being nice by only saying that."

"You want me to yell at you and call you everything under the sun?" You ask.

Well, he does deserve it.

"I miss you, you know." You say in a small voice.

Really?

"I miss my best friend."

Still just friends, huh? Rin kind of wants to punch himself for having those thoughts, but he's not going to make things even worse so he says the same, "I miss my friend, too." You're still looking out the window. From where you're sitting you can see Rin's house where the lights are still turned on. "Maybe we should talk more tomorrow, your parents will wonder where you are."

Who cares about that? Rin wants to stay here with you forever.

He doesn't want to impose, though. Rin simply nods and stands up after you, but he can't bring himself to walk. You notice that he's standing still and turn to him. "You good?"

He's quiet, looking down at the floor.

"Rin?"

He's so deep in thought that he doesn't even hear your voice. Rin is too busy trying to make a decision. He doesn't know if he should just leave and come back tomorrow to talk some more . . . or stay and risk ruining everything.

You step up to him and say his name again, putting a hand on his arm. It pulls Rin from his thoughts and he finally looks up from the floor.

Rin murmurs your name softly and holds your face in his hands. He doesn't know what to say, there probably isn't anything he can say right now. He still wants to apologize for hurting you, but you told him not to. I'm about to ruin everything, Rin thinks.

You’re quiet, eyes wide with surprise with how he's holding your face so gently.

"Can I stay?" Rin asks, thumbs caressing your cheeks softly.

Your face heats up at his touch and your heart is pounding from how close he is. He's close, You think, gulping. So close.

Rin's eyes, framed by thick lashes, stare intensely into yours and you suddenly feel the need to look away but he's holding you in place. You've never seen this look in them.

“Rin . . ."

"Can I?" He asks again.

Yes is on your mind, right on the tip of your tongue, but you can't get anything out when you part your lips.

Your pretty and soft looking lips that Rin's gaze travels down to. Rin wonders if they're as soft as they look, inching ever closer. "Can I?"

It won't erase the past and it won't magically fix everything, but you're willing to try to mend things, though it won't be as simple friends if he actually closes the gap and kisses you.

You really want him to stay. "R- Rin . . ."

Screw it, he'll take that as a yes.

[beelijah4894]

I want to examine Chilcuck's change in relationship with Marcille

Quite frankly, I want to discuss the way his general trust changes and how it affects him.

Marcille and Chilcuck are good coworkers, especially at the start of the show. They respect boundaries and share a teasingly platonic relationship. Beyond that, they are fairly good friends; not extremely close but still good. For lack of a better explanation, they are close enough to be able to show genuine concern for the others comfortability rather than just their safety. For example, when Marcille is attack by the slime, Chilchuck offers his hanky to blow out the excess. Or when Marcille helped Chilchuck stitch up his neck wrap.

This show does a tremendous job of showing how these characters have already gotten to know each other and that they know each other well. When Chilchuck is trapped with the mimic, he trusts Marcille would be concerned enough to get help, but also knows her well enough to know she probably fell back asleep. Still, Chilchuck does trust these people. Enough even to share his age and very minor details about his life outside the dungeon.

A scene that really shows Chilchuck's trust in the group is right before the Undine attack when he is laying out the plan for the rest of the trip. It shows just how well they work together and Chil doesn't have to worry about too many details. He knows he is with a strong group. In fact, I'd say they are at their strongest right before and during the dragon attack. They make a plan together and work out each others strengths, in which Chil is able to help in the actual fight. (another less important fact, but when Laios is mentioning how they used to fight dragons, children isn't even named).

Then, the resurrection happens. Chilchuck is the number one person against it. So why does he stay? Why doesn't he stop it or leave the party? There are quite a few reasons. He can't go home without his party, he'd never survive. But he also doesn't want them to die and I think deep down, he does trust their judgement. They've stayed alive this long doing things he wasn't comfortable with and, while this is an extreme, he does have some form of trust there.

Chilchuck is such a follower of what is ethically right and he obviously doesn't agree with this. While, on the other side, Marcille thinks that "there is no morality in magic." It drives a stake through that bond because they both feel so strongly about it. And all of those adventures they had before almost don't matter when Chilchuck is talking to Laios about how, "[He] always found it strange. A well off elf girl wanting to explore the dungeon." (quote may not be exactly correct). Chil doesn't trust "that Marcille" anymore, at least, not as much as he used to. It doesn't help that she is frightening when she is walking the mini dragons away.

When Chil is complaining about his group to the orc (I can't remember her name, forgive me), he admits that they are consistently near death and how his party is reckless and stupid. We know now that he is afraid of losing them and was generally projecting his own feelings of fear. Marcille is included in this, as he complains about her. He, however, mentions her life after the dungeon. "How is she going to live a normal life after this?" He does care for her, but I believe he is projecting here also. How would he live a normal life after witnessing that. What would he do if they're found out?

And this is projected onto Marcille after a while. When Marcille is teaching Laios healing magic and Marcille and Chilchuck discuss party relationships. He implies that she shouldn't have even been let into the group. "I wish he had a better judge of character. That way he'd never find himself in a situation involving black magic." Not to mention in this episode, This being the shot after he says this. They are metaphorically further apart than they have been up until this point and Laios is right in the middle of it.

That friendship is still there. We can see it in places like when Marcille is just holding Chilchuck during the cleaners episode and he's not really angry. But that trust and fear is still there. We see in the Chimera episode, Chilchuck trying to let Marcille know about Shuro and a few others knowing what happened; he is still unhappy to be in this situation and wants to find a way out, but there really isn't a way out.

"I knew it. I had a feeling it would turn out like this. Dammit!"

"Sorry, guys…"

followed by Chilchucks defeated expression. No reassurance, but no fighting either.

This wasn't my best analysis but I am putting my one year of college to use!

I can't wait to see how this changes and expands. I am still only on anime right now, bc my manga are on back order but I'll get there soon enough! @burnazog

[steviewashere]

Balls in Laundry Baskets: An Apology Chp. 2

Rating: Teen and Up CW: None for this part, but check part one for the CWs that pertain to that one Tags: Post Season 4, Post Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Making Up, Apologizing, Steve Harrington & Lucas Sinclair Friendship, Eddie Munson Gets Put in His Place, Lucas Sinclair is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Protective Steve Harrington, Emotionally Hurt Lucas Sinclair, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Means Well He's Just Defensive, Hurt People Hurt Others

This is chapter two! Want to read chapter one? Click here.

Can also be read on AO3

🏀—————🏀 Eddie knew that Steve was right. He had to apologize. He had to mean it. And he can’t let Lucas think that his interests are unimportant to him.

What’s eating at him, though, is how exactly he’s going to prove his apology meaningful to Lucas. Whatever it means, he’ll do it. If Lucas wants him to beg for forgiveness, he can up the dramatics. If it means saying the words ‘I’m sorry,’ and then never seeing him again, then he’ll stomach that. But he doesn’t want Lucas out of his life. The sheepies are important to him. They matter to him on so many levels that they don’t know. 

So he’s got to prove himself. He’s got to mean it.

Which gives him a great idea. And it’s one he can share with Steve, now that they’re seeing each other again.

Steve picks him up from home. Drives out to their local diner. Orders them some food. And then Eddie leans in close across the table. “I’ve got an idea on how I can apologize,” he states.

“How’s that?” Steve hums. He drums his fingers against the table. Is feigning nonchalance, but the slight excitement in his eyes is enough to tell Eddie that he’s genuinely ready to listen.

“Okay, I was thinking,” he starts, “involving Lucas’s interests with mine. If, maybe, I decide to do Hellfire every other week instead of weekly. And on my off days, you and Lucas can show me the ropes of balls in laundry baskets.”

Briefly, Steve’s eyes widen and his eyebrows raise. All his minor movements slow to a stop. He leans away from his seat, across the table. Nearly nose to nose with Eddie. “You…you want to postpone Hellfire to practice basketball with Lucas and I?” He questions, clarifying.

Eddie leans back and nods. “Yeah. I figured the only way I’m going to make it up to Lucas is by showing him that I’m serious. And…maybe it’ll do me some good? Plus, the whole reason Lucas is mad at me is because I wouldn’t postpone Hellfire meetings. If I show to myself that I’m capable of doing so, while involving myself with basketball, then it can be a start?”

Steve leans away again, his eyes calculating. Eddie wants to chew on his fingernails or bite his tongue, but he sits patiently. Waits for what feels like an eternity before Steve gives a slow nod. He’s not sure if it’s out of approval or taking in the idea for what it is, but Eddie stirs something hopeful in his stomach.

However, the silence between them stretches. Steve’s eyes continue to roam. And the idea grows to be futile in his mind. Was it that bad, he has to wonder, am I still being an ass?

“Do you not like it?” He finally asks. Clasps his hands together, if only to keep them from sweating, jittering off his body, shaking like a leaf. “I can…I’ll think of something new if it’s that bad of an idea. Maybe I should just go to Lucas’s? Apologize to him there and then let him sit with it a few days, let him decide whether or not he still wants to…” he trails off. Eddie doesn’t particularly like the outcome that could be Lucas completely distancing himself, backing away from the tabletop game he loves and their already tentative friendship. But if it’s what he has to do, for his own sanity and his own hurt, then Eddie should just let him. Right?

He rubs a hand between his eyebrows and looks down at the tacky table. “Who am I kidding?” He mutters, “Lucas is never going to forgive me.”

“Hey,” Steve softly scolds. “He will, Eds.” His eyes cast to Eddie like beacons. Of hope, Eddie isn’t certain. But of love, probably.

His hand slides from his eyebrows to cover his mouth. Next words muffled to the skin of his palm. “But you’re right, y’know? I’ve basically sidelined Lucas entirely. Separated myself from what he loves all because of stupid high school hierarchies. Which is…ridiculous considering I try to think of myself as somebody who doesn’t put people in boxes. And, well, look at me,” he states, gesturing to himself, “Here I am, putting people in boxes.”

Steve’s breath does something sort of funny, a little stuttered puff. His foot connects with Eddie’s shin in a gentle kick. That makes him look back up. Where Steve’s eyes are once again calculating in the odd perceptive way they do—all big and shiny and unmistakeable. His mouth is pinched down into a soft scowl. Eddie has to swallow back a shiver, he’s never seen somebody look so adamantly offended on his behalf. 

“We all do it,” Steve finally says. His voice is measured and low. “Even when you think you don’t, you do. It’s just the nature of how you’ve had to survive your environment, I guess. So give yourself some credit—at least you’re willing to face the reality of what you’ve done, as immediate as it’s been shown to you.”

Eddie shrugs. “How else am I going to make it up to you two? Lucas especially. Not that—I mean, you’re hurt, too. You are and I made you feel like that and that’s—“ He stops himself from rambling any further with a dismissive wave of his hand. Sighs away a grievance, an irritation at himself. “But I want to try. I want to show that I am capable of indulging other people, despite what I’ve known. And…Basketball seems like the way to go, for now.”

Steve’s foot is still firmly pressed against his shin, but then it slides down, hooking itself around Eddie’s ankle. His left hand is scooped up by Steve’s right; a gentle squeeze. There’s a tentative, lopsided grin plastered to his face, squinting the corners of those perceptive eyes. “I’ll help you do it,” Steve states, “I was thinking of how to get Lucas, though.”

Humming, Eddie sits further back and thinks. Of every opportunity he has to see the kid. Or what would end in sure failure, based on the approach he uses. There’s fear that if he apologizes at Lucas’s house, that he’ll only be shunned and turned away. Maybe even the chance that Lucas will notice him through the window and refuse immediately to even open the front door. A sure knot begins to form in Eddie’s chest when he notices the ways of approach are dwindling between his fingers.

Before he can say anything else, though, Steve is already speaking for him. “We should just pick up Lucas from his house.”

“We?” Eddie asks, befuddled.

Steve nods, his eyebrows scrunching in blatant confusion, as if this should be obvious. “Well, yeah? Did you really think I’d let you do this alone? Besides, it’s best to have a mediator there just in case. And, not only would I be there to kind of relax the conversation, but it gives you a chance to show yourself to me, too, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Eddie mutters in turn. He fidgets with a straw wrapper from the soda he had, that Steve insisted he paid for. And swallows heavily. “Maybe you can…Would you help by maybe just bringing him here? And that’ll give me the chance to apologize to his face while also…I just don’t want to corner him at his house or in your car or something.”

Across the table, he watches Steve’s eyes relax. Something in them going soft and easy. A small nod. “I can do that,” he murmurs, “just stay here, go over what you want to say, and keep yourself calm.” His hand squeezes Eddie’s, fingers toying with his rings. Reassures, “This’ll work out. There’s no reason that it won’t.”

“But—“

“It’ll resolve.” And his voice is like an anchor, something tangible and grounding.

For now, Eddie believes him. Because Steve hasn’t been wrong. Not yet, at least.

——— When Steve returns, it’s with Lucas in tow, just as Eddie asked. Granted, from what Eddie can see, Lucas has the appearance of somebody going on their first roller coaster ride—queasy before the ride even goes over the first hill of track. But it’s a miracle he’s here at all.

He finds himself straightening up in his booth seat, scooping the straw wrapper garbage to the side, even going as far as to untangle the ends of his hair. Wrestles his hands together so that they’re intertwined and heavy on the surface of the table. And flashes at the two of them, what he hopes, is a graceful and pleased smile.

Steve sits in the booth opposite of Eddie, against the wall. While Lucas joins him, also facing Eddie. And he realizes it for what it is: in case Lucas needs to claim bail and make his grand escape. Something turns over in Eddie’s chest, hot and hard like a freshly warmed piece of coal.

“Uh—Hey, Lucas,” he greets, choppy and clumsy. Good thing his hands are kneaded together like pretzels—they’d probably be glistening with sweat and shaking otherwise. His stomach tenses briefly at Lucas’s stare, stoic, yet calculating like Steve’s. Eddie takes a deep breath, it nearly wheezes right out of him. “Do you…I can get you something to snack on while we talk? Y’know, if you want?”

Lucas shakes his head. Swallows harshly, the sound carrying over the clatter of other diner’s eating, forks shifting on plates. “Nah, man,” he answers stiffly, “I just want to talk. Steve told me you had something to say?”

Eddie nods tersely. Brings his intertwined hands to his lips, just barely kissing his knuckles. Eyes darting over Lucas’s shoulder to the diner’s glass push door. Truth be told, he’s never been good at apologizing. More of a person who awkwardly says something good about a person before running in the other direction. But that’s reserved for people he’d be willing to see leave his life. Saved for people like his dad, a few old crotchy neighbors, the cops.

Not somebody like Lucas. A friend. Somebody Eddie wants to know until the end of time, see flourish, be proud of. Now, it should have started with attending the championship game, making time for the kid. But later is better than never. And Eddie’s great at being notoriously late—part of the reason he had to redo senior year three times.

He takes another deep breath and locks eyes with Lucas. Schools his expression to be empathetic, but not pleading. He has to do this right. And he has to be serious. Can’t joke his way out of this. Can’t explain away with supernatural bullshit. This has to come from him, he knows. Not The Freak. Not Edward. Just Eddie. His hands fall back to the surface of the table.

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately. “I’m sorry for not being a good friend. To either of you, but to you, Lucas, especially.” Eddie hates the way Lucas startles surprised. Bouncing on the vinyl of his seat, eyes widening beyond belief, nose flaring slightly with the purse to his lips. But he won’t say anything about it. Because if he loses track, if he stops talking, he knows this will be it.

He’ll lose Lucas. And he’ll lose Steve. He’ll lose all of the Hellfire boys.

Eddie will be just as lonely as the day he came back to Hawkins. When he moved in with Wayne. When he wouldn’t say anything more than: “Yes”, “No”, and “Whatever.”

“I’m sorry for being ignorant. And hypocritical. And abrasive about what you enjoy. There’s no excuse for my actions or my words. The only explanation I have is that I know what it’s like to be treated that way and I got overly defensive.” He shifts in his seat, eyes casting down to where Lucas and Steve’s hands rest on the table—palms flat and fingers spread wide. Solemnly, he murmurs, “People who have interests like the both of you have always shat on my likes. On Dungeons & Dragons and metal music and theater. But that should’ve never included the both of you.

“But, Lucas—“ And he makes sure his eye contact is firm, deep, and unbreaking. “—I never meant to make you feel…outcast, othered, or singular. Ever. But I did make you feel like that. Not only did I shun basketball, but I made your best friends and your sister play. And that wasn’t fair or right of me to do.

“I’m sorry, for all of that. For every bit of hurt I’ve made you feel.”

For a moment, there’s a long stretch of silence between the three of them. The white noise of the diner flittering through them. Plates and forks and mindless chatter. A staticky jukebox and a shitty rotating fan. Then, Steve’s foot slides under the table, pressing firmly into Eddie’s calf.

Lucas begins to open his mouth to say something. But Eddie beats him to it. Too afraid of what his response is.

“I’m going to prove myself to you,” Eddie promises.

He watches as Lucas’s eyebrows furrow. All his movements stop as he stares at Eddie. “Wh—What?” Lucas eventually chokes out, confusion clear in his voice.

So, Eddie repeats slowly, “I’m going to prove myself to you.” He separates his hands and taps his thumbs incessantly on the tacky tabletop. Wishes, briefly, that he had something to fidget with—a straw to chew on or a glass to pass back and forth. He continues, however, with a fierce, yet soft voice, “Hellfire is going to be moved to every other Friday. And on the days we aren’t playing D&D, you, Steve, and I are going to go to the park. To the basketball court. And I’m going to learn why you like playing basketball so much. I’m going to learn to indulge your interests, just as the both of you are indulging mine.”

And then, again, the silence envelops them. Across the table, he catches Steve’s eyes. There’s significant pride in them. A glow, a glisten to them. You did good, they say. Though it’s hard for Eddie to believe that, he tries to convey his gratitude with his own eyes. Because Lucas is still in front of him, quiet and absorbing.

Lucas’s mouth is twisted and his sight is down at his hands. But his breath is even and he isn’t making a swift exit, so Eddie counts that for something. Doesn’t take it as a win or as forgiveness, not yet. It’s good, though, that Lucas isn’t adamantly refusing him.

Though, Eddie recognizes, there’s still time. For their eyes to meet and for him to read every ounce of disproval Lucas has in store for him. To hear every note of bottled rage and pure, unadulterated hatred. He holds his breath. And in the time it takes for Lucas’s mouth to finally drop into something even more silent than the pervasive silence they’ve existed in, Eddie feels as though he’s facing the demobats again.

Like he’s noticing this window of opportunity. The great disaster that could come with it. The chance to let them have time before their friendship comes to an unsatisfied end. But he can take it, even as it brings tears to his eyes, he’ll take it. He’ll stomach when and if Lucas leans over to Steve and whispers something that’s lost in the scrapes of silverware—and as the softest of scowls form—and as Lucas’s back disappears into the confined space of Steve’s car. And with it: all the love he’s received, and all the love he has to give for the people he’s met—who he cherishes, even when they were in a moment of deep, disturbing crisis.

Finally, Lucas breathes, “Okay.”

And Eddie’s heart clenches as if a mighty fist has grasped for it. As if that fist has it in its hold, still beating, but now bleeding.

“I’ll let you prove yourself to me,” Lucas continues on, “but if you make a point to complain, criticize, or refuse any of what Steve and I do—then I…I won’t hold my breath and wait for you to be a good friend.” His eyes are so expressive, even as the rest of his face sits blank. Deep and promising. Fierce, protective.

God, Eddie realizes, he actually fucking means that. Though it hurts to hear, what he’s feared this entire time, he understands it.

“And…” Eddie steels himself, focusing in on Lucas. Only Lucas. “…I appreciate what you’ve said, but I’m not ready to accept it.”

“That’s fine,” Eddie rushes to say, “I didn’t expect you to forgive me, Lucas. I just wanted you listen to me. Let you decide, y’know, what’s worth the trouble.”

Lucas hums. “This Thursday, three in the afternoon. Wear something comfortable, something you can move in, and bring some water. Meet me on the court,” he says quickly before he stands. Towering over the table, his eyes fierce again and defensive. He slaps a hand on the back of Eddie’s left shoulder. His hand squeezes where it rests and Eddie can feel every ounce of tension leak out of Lucas and into his own body. “Thanks again, man, for apologizing. I’m not ready, but I’m sure I will be.”

“I’ll be there, Lucas,” he promises. “You matter to me and it’s time I show that.”

An affirmative, single nod from Lucas. And then his hand falls away from Eddie’s shoulder. He doesn’t spare a glance anywhere else. His eyes calculating again, just as Steve’s were doing earlier. He must see something because he’s turning back to Steve, his body looser and his face easier. “Thank you,” he mutters, “for what you’ve done for me.”

Steve dawns a soft smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling with it. Eddie wraps his own foot around Steve’s ankle, a gesture of: You did good. “‘Course, Lucas. You and your interests deserve respect, for somebody to care,” he responds.

Lucas shares the same smile. “Means a lot,” he sheepishly says. Then, his watch unceremoniously beeps, interrupting the rest of this interaction. He quickly silences it and looks back to the two of them at the table. “I’ve gotta go. Max and I have been reading comic books again, but she needs me to describe the panels to her.”

“Need a ride?” Steve asks.

But Lucas is already turning away from them. “Nah, it’s alright. It’s only a ten minute walk from here, no worries.” And then he’s off, gone without a trace.

Though, his presence is felt in the warmth glowing in Eddie’s chest. He gets a second chance to be Lucas’s friend. And he’s not going to waste it.

“Proud of you,” Steve says when Eddie turns his head back to the table. He can only furrow his eyebrows in response. Steve knocks his foot against Eddie’s leg again. “Well, I don’t know if any of that was planned or if you’re really just good at improv, but that was good. You didn’t excuse yourself, didn’t bulldoze over anything, showed your intentions. Something to be proud of, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Yeah, well, I needed to be quick and honest or else I was going to lose him.”

“It’s still great,” Steve murmurs, “took me literal years to get over my bullshit. You’re making record breaking changes, babe. Not exactly something to brush off.”

Eddie shrugs. “You guys matter to me. And I’m a grown fucking adult. The winds of change were bound to hit me sooner or later.” He sighs, a breath that rushes from him like sudden rain. Relief. “Thank you for getting on me about it, though. Really gave me the knock on my head I needed to notice the reality of things.”

“Everybody needs a knock to the head every once in a while,” Steve jokes. “I know a lot about that.”

“Let me take you home and show you how thankful I am?”

Steve’s face flushes, a grin splitting him in two. “Need a personal trainer for basketball?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. Shuffles out of his seat. “Let’s go, dork. Show me all your special stretches.”

🏀—————🏀 I've got one more chapter in me for this fic, but I hope y'all are enjoying it so far! <3

Taglist (open for chapter three): @wonderland-girl143-blog @tinyplanet95 @sharingisntkaren @ghostquer @practicallybegging

@croatoan-like-its-hot @reinedeslys-central @scoops-aboy86 @imfinereallyy

@theshireisburning-somordoritis86

[fieldofdaisiies]

Whisper of the Forgotten | pt. 8

pairing: azriel x reader | type: angst | words: 2,6k words | warnings: none | masterlist

Azriel doesn’t say anything for a long moment. For so long, it makes you wonder if he will ever give you an answer. You watch how his throat bobs when he swallows, his eyes closing. You watch his chest lift with deep inhales. 

“I am aware that this is exactly what I deserve for hurting you so much.”

Your eyes close, the back of your mouth aching. 

“I broke the bond without even knowing it. I ruined the one thing I had been hoping for for so long, and I lost the person I loved most through my actions.”

He falls silent after this, and you can visibly make out how his heart breaks even more, cracks open completely and tears dwell in his eyes. Hd is a broken male, that is for sure, the actions of his past haunting him just like what has been done to him in his childhood.

“It is still there,” you find yourself saying after a moment of dense quietness. You can’t stand it anymore. “The bond has not completely vanished, I can still feel the pull.”

You find it hard to look at him, not wanting to see his expression, how torn he looks, how much this revelation broke him. 

Azriel slowly starts to shake his head, his hand sliding over his chest, right above his heart, then he drops it. 

“You can reject it.” Azriel’s voice is thick with emotion. “I want you to reject it. I can’t bind you to me, Y/N. I can’t force you to be bound to the person that hurt you so much, to make you stay with me–”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Azriel.” Now you lift your chin and meet his gaze. “This is my decision, and if I want to give it a chance, us a chance, again…” Your voice breaks the moment a sob crashes into it, and you start to cry again, lowering your face to your arm, crying silent tears into your skin. “Forgiveness is so hard, forgetting even harder and I know that I will never manage to do the latter, but I want to give us time. I want to give us a chance, to get to know each other again and to find forgiveness.”

You wipe your tears away on your arm, pushing up on your elbow so you can look at him. “I now know your reasons and even though they don’t remove the trauma or the pain they caused me. But I now at least have answers to my century-long questions – to why you hurt me, why you had to do everything you did.”

“I was the biggest asshole to not tell you earlier, to not come to the Prison and just explain. I was a coward.”

“You were,” you honestly answer, but your eyes close. “But I also know that I probably wouldn’t have listened. I would have been too wrapped up in my anger and hurt to listen or understand.”

Azriel’s eyes close again. “I was still a coward, a massive asshole, and don’t deserve you.”

“This is not about deserving each other, Azriel,” you softly whisper. “This is about healing, growth and moving on, about learning to forgive.”

You pause, trying to calm your heart that starts to beat a little faster with deep breaths. “I am not sure if I can ever forgive you, Azriel. If my heart will ever allow me to do so, but I am glad we talked. It was important for us to do so.”

“It was,” Azriel agrees, voice tinged with sadness. He tips his head back and looks at the ceiling. You follow his line of sight, only staring into the darkness and his shadows floating atop both of you. 

“What were you afraid to find?” 

Azriel is calm, then turns his head again, looking at you. You feel his gaze, sharp and piercing. “I don’t understand.”

“You said you were afraid to go see me, that you were a coward. What were you afraid of to find?”

A cold huff leaves him and then he brings his hand up, wiping it down his face. “I was afraid to find exactly what I saw in your eyes when I opened the cell door - hurt and betrayal. I hurt you so much, and I knew I would find it in those eyes that I once fell in love with.” He swallows thickly. “But I was also afraid I would be at a loss of words. That I would never be able to find the right words to talk to you. I betrayed you, hurt you so much and I knew you would never forgive me.”

You hum in understanding. 

“We needed you for help, but it was the perfect reason for me to get you out. I was forced to do so, forced to no longer be such a fucking coward. I had to go, and I wanted nothing more than to do it. There was no way back anymore. I was forced to go, and finally grew some balls to do so.” He shakes his head. “I knew what I would find there. I knew you would hate me, but I knew it was finally time for us to meet again. I had the Harp and I couldn’t wait any longer. There was a way to free you, a chance I had to take and finally could do so.”

You loose a long breath and close your eyes. You shift a little on the bed, then turn to your side and rest your head on the pillow. “I will stay here tonight if that is alright.”

You need to seal your broken heart, comfort your soul, and even if there might be no future for the two of you, this is one step into the right direction of healing.

“Always,” Azriel whispers, and you feel the bed dip, and him move. Carefully, he is tugging his blanket over you, he is still lying atop. “You want me to move to the couch.”

“No, it’s alright.” You are tired, exhausted, the conversation and the day has drained you. You only want to sleep, exhaustion nearing in waves that slowly start to drown you. Your lids are so heavy, you can’t force them open any longer. You only want to sleep. 

You tug at the blanket, signalling Azriel to slide beneath it. His closeness used to worry you, not that much anymore, knowing he won’t hurt you here. Won’t hurt you again, now that you have seen his remorse, scented his regret. 

It will be alright, you know it. 

He follows your request, and then lies down beside you, not touching you. Moments pass, moments full of deafening silence where you, despite your tiredness, can’t fall asleep. His presence doesn’t irritate you, he closeness doesn’t bother you (anymore) but it still feel strange lying here with him. Sleeping in the same bed as him after centuries of distance.

“Did you plan on how you would kill me once you get free?” Azriel then whispers and you feel something stroke over your exposed shoulder. It isn’t Azriel, but rather his shadows.

A huff leaves you. “Every day and in very much detail how I would go about it.” 

He doesn’t smile in response, he only looks at you, watches you closely until he says, “I thought so.”

You don’t answer him, only curl your fingers around the blanket, hoping to just drift off into a dreamless sleep. But Azriel has different plans. He shifts on the bed, somehow uncomfortable, and then says into the darkness. 

“I wasn’t only scared of what I would find, I was also ashamed.” He clears his throat. “I couldn’t look you in the eyes, I couldn’t even look myself in the eyes nor my brothers. I had no idea how to tell anyone, how to explain what I had done. I was a fucking coward and ashamed of the measures I took.”

“You were scared, Azriel,” you whisper. “And fear lets us do unspeakable things.”

Night and sleep falls upon you a moment after, a light comfort hovering above your hearts that makes you eventually fall asleep.

───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────

You slip out of his room before Azriel or anyone else in the House of Wind wakes up. You don’t want to face Azriel, not in the mood to talk to him and unsure of what to say to him. 

In addition, you also don’t want to face Nesta or Cassian, not wanting to have to explain to them that you just talked and nothing happened. They would probably read more into it, and maybe even find hope. Hope you don’t want to give them.

Once back in your room, you take a long moment to think, sitting down on your windowsill, leaning your forehead against the cool window, staring outside, over the still dark city, slowly waking up. 

Many thoughts cloud your mind, and despite Azriel always being in the foreground, you know that opening the box, defeating Koschei and getting your powers back is more important. You need your amulet back and you would go through hell for it. You will demand it back that day, that is clear. They have to give it to you. Then you will open the box and form a plan on how to go forward. How you will fight against Koschei, who you have to ready. And how you can start a new life in the place you were born. 

You have often found yourself wondering what the Middle has turned into, what it looks like now, after centuries. You can’t wait to go back there. You haved lived there for a long time before the Wilde Hunt led you north and you ended up in the Night Court.

The Wild Hunt.

It has been on your mind a lot lately. They…have been. You could rally them again, reform your group, lead them, maybe alongside the Valkyries…and fight alongside them, once again reunited, as one.

───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────

“So, using this spell we can open it. Our hands need to be connected, Nesta, in the other hand you will be holding Ataraxia.” You pause so they can all process the information you have just provided them with. 

Azriel said nothing to you, nor to Cassian or Nesta when he entered the kitchen in the morning. He only looked at you, then dipped his chin and smiled slightly. You returned this gesture. 

You also haven’t spoken during breakfast, and not until you found yourself gathered around the desk in Rhysand’s office. 

“But I need my amulet back for this. I need my powers.” You lift your gaze and look at Rhys first, then at Azriel. “I want it back now. I have proven my loyalty, I agreed to help you and you should know by now that I won’t harm you. It is the least you could do.”

“How do we know you won’t just run off? Or blow everything up the moment—”

Your palm slams down on the wooden table, making it groan with the impact of your loud slap. “Because I have proven my loyalty!” you growl and spin around to Amren. “Why should I do that? Do you also deem me such a cruel, sadistic monster that everyone thinks I am?” 

You walk up to her until you are in her face. “You have been in Prison as well and yet they trust. What if you go berserk in this city?”

“Give her the amulet back, Rhys!“ Amren snaps and steps backwards.

But the High Lord hesitates. 

“No, Rhys. She is right. And she has a right to her possessions.”

Slowly, Rhysand nods and then tips his head at Azriel, momentarily holding eye-contact with the shadowsinger and you know he is talking to him mind-to-mind. The shadowsinger bows his head in return and walks backwards a few steps before slipping out of the room.

Your gaze has been locked on him the whole time. And now that he is gone and you know you will get your amulet back, your heart is beating in your throat, anticipation rising. Your heirloom will finally be yours again, and your powers will return in full force. You need your amulet to channel them, it is similar to the siphons the Illyrians wear.

You feels how your palms turn a little clammy, and inhale a few deep breaths, hoping to calm yourself as much as needed. But the idea of finally being fully yourself again, excites you too much for that to be possible.

“Why do you need Nes for that? Can’t you do it alone?” Cassian‘s low rumble disturbs your day-dreaming about your powers and you whip your head into his direction. 

“Because your mate has more power blazing through her veins than you could ever imagine, Cassian.” You smile at the female in question and then turn back to her mate. “And exactly that sort of power in connection with her sword is needed. I need someone that powerful on my side to fulfill—”

“Rhys is the most powerful High Lord,” Cassian cuts in, and you laugh.

“He might be. But his power is useless here. A different kind of power is needed, one that can only be found in people like us.” You tip your chin at Nesta and then at Amren. “Like calls to like, and that is why we need to combine our strengths.”

Cassian huffs, but a bright smile lights up the Valkyrie‘s face, a hint of pride shimmering in her eyes and when she meets her mate’s gaze, his eyes take on a similar glow.

You want to add that he should indeed be proud, but you get no chance to do so. Azriel returns right in this moment, the amulet dangling from his scarred hand. 

You watch how his chest heaves with a deep intake of air. Then he moves closer. “Do you want someone else to put it back on?”

You give your head a shake and then huff. “You were the one to take it off, Azriel, you need to put it back on.” You hold his gaze as he moves closer, step by step.

You can see the whirlwind in his eyes, and how hard he is clenching his jaw. “Can you lift your—nevermind, please turn around.”

You are sure the room is holding its breath just like every person within it, you included. His scarred fingertips touch your shoulders first, brushing away your hair. “Can you lift them up please?”

You do as told and slowly, his hands reach around you. The amulet is cool at first but once it is flush with your skin it starts to buzz, humming with power. Your face lights up, and vibrations flow through your veins, making your fingertips feel tingly — the amulet is back and your powers have reached it peeked again. Of course, you need to train to be able to really use them again but the first step is accomplished.

Azriel’s hands are still on you when you turn back to him and lovk eyes with him again. 

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“Not for that,” he mumbles. “Don’t thank me for returning what always belonged to you.” His hand lifts and he brushes his hand over your head. “You look beautiful.”

Your breath catches and yoh know that despite hating it and trying so hard to fight against it, your love for him is starting to burn again, and forgiveness is truly an option already.

You don’t want to let this happen. Can’t let it happen. Not yet at least. 

You quickly step back. “Let’s open that damn box, shall we?”

general tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @azrielsmate2 @callmeblaire @lilah-asteria @berryzxx

[oldhalloweentape]

🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader ⛏️

(Witch Reader Edition!)

(Picture’s not mine!)

(Request here! Here’s what I promised! My friend @goohts suggested this song! Hope you all like it :)))

- This is another dynamic I like! And as always Venture is enamored with both you and who you are as a person.

- Though I don’t think they’d know much about witches or that kind of culture up until you guys met.

- To impress you, they began studying!

- They take the time to learn the significance of things like crystals, herbs, flowers, sigils, things of that sort because they know how important it is to you and your identity.

- When I say they studied, I mean they studied, asks for pointers in finding written material and actively voices their questions to you. Reading from a book or an article is useful and all but they’d also like hearing it from you.

- That and hearing it from someone with experience gives them more insight, being an auditory learner.

- Let me be honest with you, they absolutely adore the fact that you hold a connection to crystals and stones, albeit a different kind of connection.

- If they can, I can see them getting you certain crystals, tells you all about the reason behind the special formations in each one all the while cooing at them like they’re baby kittens.

- Let’s you read one of their palms while their other hand is holding a book about palm readings, turns into a game of whether or not they can ascertain the meaning behind a certain line in their palm.

- Their hands are naturally rough due to their job, nail polish that gets chipped fairly easy, the works.

- And their hand is all nice and warm so, that’s another plus.

- Can and will get you anything you need, they just really want to be helpful and supportive of you.

- Though, some times they accidentally mess with your stuff. For example, if you have moon water— Put that in hiding or something cause they’d probably drink it in the middle of the night during one of their soul crushing all nighters.

- Doesn’t realize it was weird that it was in a mason jar until it was too late.

- The apologies were endless afterwards, saying stuff like, “I’m so sorry!!”, “Mi vida, don’t be mad!”, and “Please forgive me!!”

- The type to grab certain flowers they find while hiking and gifting them to you if they have any particular significance. Comes with a bunch of while flowers they assorted themselves into a bouquet, roots and chunks of dirt still attached to them as they give you a charming little smile.

- Brags of course, though they brag about you with everything whenever they can.

- Thinks you’re so cool in general, which is a given when it comes to Venture but I digress.

- Probably tries to get you to curse Mauga or something because he was being an ass, childish as fuck but we love them for that.

- Brags of course, though they brag about you whenever they can.

- They just really mean well and it’s cute to see, they love their witch partner <3.

(Hope this was up to your guys’s expectations!)

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant

Okay so I was gonna go to sleep then this thought hit me like a train, so here we go.

A common theme that I have seen in regard to Lucien and Tamlin and repairing their relationship, is that instead of removing the power imbalance between them, we swap it out.

Hear me out, I am going somewhere with this.

So, the most common thing I see, is Tamlin groveling before Lucien (great, we love a man on his knees, let me tell you why this is a not the best idea)

This does not remove the power imbalance in their relationship, it merely swaps it. It gives Lucien the same imbalance that caused him to be harmed by Tamlin.

That in of itself should be a trigger for Lucien, but I digress. That's an entirely other conversation.

But something else that is very common and that often goes hand in hand with said groveling, is that it's supposed to degrade Tamlin before Lucien, and often leads to an idea of sexual favors.

Would like to state before the court, I am not pointing out anyone or anything in particular, this is just a reoccurring theme I see in fanfiction, across all websites that I peruse. A lot of which I have read and enjoyed, but in regard to canon, this would not work out well for Lucien or Tamlin.

Because putting Tamlin in a position of degradation or being put in a prolonged (NOTE PROLONGED THATS IMPORTANT LATER) position of submission to Lucien, is simply a reversal of their roles, and it fixes nothing.

I highly doubt it would even give Lucien any satisfaction because 1- He isn't sadistic, and 2- Tamlin becomes his worst self when he is a state of self-loathing; let me expand on that.

Throughout ACOMAF when Tamlin hurt Lucien the most, he was in a state of self-loathing. He was battling trauma, and desperately trying to make it up to Feyre for what she did for him. In ACOSAF we see an even darker form of this, where Tamlin's trauma and hatred of himself has taken its toll.

By swapping out the roles and endorsing Tamlin's hatred of himself by keeping the power imbalance that harmed Lucien in the first place, we keep Tamlin in that same state. Thus, it would serve nothing other than to be a reminder of the horrible times and put them back in that state. It would fix nothing in their relationship. It would probably make it worse, as there would be no basis for them to build off of.

Now, going off of my earlier statement of 'prolonged position'. What I mean by that is all of my above statements apply for an arc where Lucien and Tamlin are kept locked in that submissive vs dominant relationship. Where Lucien constantly has the upper hand. It's just a mirror reflection of everything that went wrong in their relationship.

Now moving on to another point. The idea of Tamlin begging on his hands and knees for forgiveness.

In this specific case, I will assume this is their first meeting after last seeing each other.

Lucien does and SHOULD have all the power in this situation, but there are other, far more effective, ways of showing Lucien Tamlin genuinely wants his forgiveness, than making an (often) public display of his sorriness.

Lucien having the choice of when and where they meet, doing it on his grounds.

Lucien having the choice of seating arrangement, in the Spring Court there is a clear showcase in power when someone sits at the head of the table.

Lucien leading the conversation and laying out all his rules and boundaries, Tamlin never interrupting. This comes back to that act of submission, but in this case, it is more removing the power imbalance that is naturally in their relationship, rather than permanently swapping it.

Providing ways to meet all rules, and making a plan on how Tamlin will go about trying to fix their relationship. Genuinely listening, and actively participating in the conversation on how they will fix their friendship.

Basically, I am saying they need to talk, but they need to genuinely talk, and then Tamlin has to give Lucien his space. Has to genuinely try and make his efforts. And heal in his own space, while Lucien heals in his.

The idea of begging, crawling, crying, has never sat right with me. It sounds too much like when Rhysand made Tamlin and Lucien bow and beg for Feyre's life.

Rather than a public display that doesn't actually prove he means any of it, they need to have a genuine talk where that imbalance is completely removed. Where Lucien has control of the situation and the ability to entirely reject Tamlin's sorry and leave.

The begging also guilt trips Lucien.

Lucien is an incredibly emotional person and has been the victim of guilt-tripping as a manipulation tactic. Either the begging would make him feel like he has to accept the apology, or best-case scenario, he views it as another empty promise.

Anyway, that's just my two cents on this idea.

[mysteryanimator]

I love your animations, but I'm still struggling to view them without thinking about their last canon interaction. Can you tell me what you envision their makeup would be like?

(Lol I’m so sorry to all the ppl who work on Nocturne reading this 💀 and just generally everyone)

Thank you so much that means a lot! But now, you’ve unveiled my trap card and given me an excuse to write my thoughts on Mizrak and Olrox, so this will get pretty long. Also, this may end up being very subjective/personal taste in some parts so I hope everyone doesn’t mind (and hope you don't mind the funky grammar!) This is an open discussion too, I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts! 

Now with that out of the way here we go!

(This is old unfinished storyboards for a previous iteration of their makeup scene I did back in jan, never finished them due to uni/another project, I'd like to someday tho because guh the themes.)

Now first of all, I’d like to think that a proper makeup/conversation wouldn’t happen for a bit and would be drawn out because they’re both still hurt, angry, sad, and confused at not only each other but themselves. They’re not the type to get into loud verbal arguments for this, definitely some verbal jabs at each other though. Mean petty comments, oh absolutely. I’d like to personally believe they’d still yearn for each other, perhaps even more so after Olrox indirectly confessed and Mizrak practically turned it down. 

Now, there are soooo many different ways that they’d even see each other again, many different ways it could come to that initial point where they’ve made up. Though I’ll go with one of my personal idea (which people keep egging me on to animate WHICH… I dunno I don’t have free time rn so I’m just blurting it out into written format while I can 😭 I want to though, maybe later in the year for fun if season 2 doesn’t beat me to it). 

Have to establish my vision, but I’d think that Richter, Maria, Annette, Alucard and Mizrak are hopping from abandoned town to abandoned town due to the inability to return to Macheoul for the time being. While Olrox has been on his own (doing what, I’m not even sure my personal headcanon for this.) I think Alucard and Mizrak have a conversation about Alucard’s past in a group setting and it strikes a chord with the monk- since after all, Alucard’s dad is THE Dracula, and his mother (bless her, I miss her) is human. You know how that whole backstory goes, and it parallels Olrox a lot. Also Mizrak and Annette will absolutely have a deep conversation too. Just solely from the comment that was made: 

“We’re all descended from gods, we just have to learn how to draw their power.” Nocturne s1 ep 2

Annette clearly having powers from Haitian gods, absolutely challenging how Mizrak was only certain of one God. Yes, Mizrak is extremely stubborn and it will take him a bit, but he’s different from the Abott in the sense that he will not let religion blind his path to good. He ‘uses his head’ as said before, not god, not the church- his head. Mizrak’s idea of the church and his faith is now a mess and it’s up to him on how he interprets it and rewrites it knowing what he knows now (this is important I swear when it comes to the makeup scene).

Now we’re at the actual scene at hand: Olrox and Mizrak making up.

Side note: oh god I’m practically writing this whole thing as if its going to be played out for an episode, but that’s how it works in my brain LOL but you asked so you shall receive. I am so sorry HAHA

There’s been a lot of build up from this point where they have been meeting up here and there by themselves, but you can clearly tell whenever they do they both hurt and yearn- which would lead to their proper makeup scene. I’m just inserting this for fun, but I’d imagine this would take place in an abandoned church in the town they’re camping in for the night. For a lot of symbolic reasons; devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, gathering. This along with the simple fact, Mizrak’s relationship to the church has changed completely from here. I’d like to think that even when he’s trying to rekindle that connection with God, it leaves that icky overcoat on his skin. 

“Faith is a company in the hardest of times, when the world abandons you.” Nocturne ep 3

The church indeed had saved him from whatever terrible horrific thing happened to him in the past, however whatever saved him can still be horrible and terrible too. It is infallible.  It is cruel in an attempt to gather community and peace. So, yes- faith can be company when the world abandoned him, but his faith is no longer with the church. He’s taking it back and finding some place else to rest it. (Olrox, it’s Olrox, probably ooc but I’m making it Olrox). 

In this church, the conversation between them will initially start as a discussion about religion, faith and that whole sort of deal. It’ll open up about Mizrak exact struggles from his mouth and how he particularly feels about it, then we get more insight onto Olrox’s thoughts, his perception of the church and perhaps even a deep dive into Aztec history again. Maybe even talk about Olrox’s Quetzalcoatl form, though really this is self indulgent. It’s an aspect I’d absolutely love to be explored and I think it being discussed in revere in a Catholic Church,  with Mizrak actually being open to it due to his new perspective? Oh my god, sign me up. Regardless, it would hold similar energy to episode 6: Gulity Men to be Judged. There’s a weight to it. 

Then it gets heavier when the conversation pivots.  

Mizrak’s attachment in the church was due to him caring about people and, hypothetically, to save him from whatever detriment came for him in the past. The last canon interaction, their falling out they had in season 1 was because he cared about others. To a fault. Now, here he is, standing in front of someone he cares about. It’s going to open a conversation between what’s happening between them and finally properly discuss what happened from their last canon interaction in nocturne season 1. 

A lot of finger and hand brushing from Olrox, which at first I’d think gets no reaction as an attempt for restraint before Mizrak warms up to it and even reciprocates by doing the same thing. All of this is very gentle in my opinion. It’s slow, tender, and most importantly vulnerable. It has the physical contact reminiscent of their first fast rough and tug in the courtyard and piggybacks off the vulnerability they both have when they both stand next to the window in episode 6. They probably also just physically get closer to each other at the moment. Just gradually though. The distance gets closer and closer until their foreheads are practically touching without them realizing it. They’re comfortable though, they don’t want to leave. 

They absolutely get to a point where they both admit to saying “I love you” without straight up saying “I love you” because that’s just a very them thing. Or maybe they do straight up state because Olrox does admit he was in love (with his partner) and doesn’t shy from that fact. It’s a nice conversion of the trope and great to hear from a mlm couple to say I love you… but man do I do love when characters get all poetic-y when their profess their devotion to each other by literally talking in prose, so maybe with good writing both can be done and still be quite powerful but still be gentle. 

In my interpretation YEAH I’LL MAKE THEM KISS AFTER THIS, this is my vision after all. Also, yeah they’re gonna fuck. In the church? Perhaps. Is it a tad OOC, maybe. HOWEVER, consider imagery and symbolism. I just think the image of it would be great, even if it was censored to hell and back, it can be so artistically done. Just imagine the implication alone with me for a second. I think the whole concept of doing it in a church is an interesting build upon the quotes from the show;

“God is not here. This church is an empty box.” From the first Castlevania series.

“House of God? This place is just a heap of bricks and stone.” From Nocturne said by Maria. 

The church is a husk, especially having it abandoned- it’s rather what you do with that box that makes all the difference. The people inside are the driving force, so I think it’s both poetic and funny to have Mizrak and Olrox fucking in an abandoned church. Surface level: fuck you god I’m fucking my hot vampire boyfriend in your house. Deeper level: I could write a whole thing on this but I’ll refrain. You can get the gist of breaking free of restraint, and devotion and letting himself be human, rather than a soldier (which he already slowly does). 

Though also this sex scene isn’t necessary, I just like exploring explicit content in artistic ways, especially if I can throw in religious symbols and heighten that hunger/devotion to a person- but the “I love you” in the church is pretty powerful already.  

Then after all of this they take it at their own pace. However, they only live life once and continue together like that- they both know this concept very well because of the very nature of who they are, so they spend it in each other’s company. 

Now you also get the squad’s reactions, well namely because I do not think this would be an easily hidden thing. Like absolutely could get away with it in season 1, but everyone will know something is up for sure in my iteration. The 'hypothetical' Mystery Animator season 2 iteration. As subtle as their longing stares and quiet hand touches may be reserved for just them- those little interactions are loud.

Richter would absolutely be in shambles over Olrox, the killer of his mother, and Mizrak being a thing. Both in a “this is the most horrible thing that’s happened in my life” and also a he’s going to be an absolute shithead to Mizrak and make fun of him, lightheartedly of course. Alucard would absolutely have an interesting perspective because again, his parents. Maria already has disdain for the church plus the “vampires are evil… and evil has to be fought.” However, in the presence of Alucard, I think a lot will change because he’s half-vampire. Annette, I’m unsure of what her reaction would be, because I’m very sure she’d be receptive to Alucard being a vampire and then would appreciate Olrox’s mindset and values. However, gonna keep hammering, Olrox killed Julia Belmont which I feel will be comedically hammered in if Olrox decides to hang around the squad occasionally. 

And with that, we’re done! (I think)

Thank you for reading 🫶 this probably will not happen in cv s2 but it’s fun blurting out my hc. I’m really excited to see what they do, and even perhaps even go in the opposite direction due to episode limitations… maybe a season 3 👀 who knows.

[its-hai-time]

WE'RE SO BACK

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[yellowocaballero]

Talk Shop Tuesday: what’s the most important thing to you when it comes to characterization?

[Sorry I am so behind on these I have been so fucking busy] CHARACTERIZATION I LOVE YOU SO. What a good question!!!!! I get compliments on my characterization a lot so I should probably think about this. Also @lazuliquetzal chime in if you want because you're just as good at this.

There's a lot of important things. The most important, I think, is that the character has consistent internal logic. It's like worldbuilding or magic. Their actions don't have to be objectively logical, but they do have to be consistent. The character has a framework for understanding the world, a way of perceiving the world and how it works, and an idea of how they think other people work. Everything that happens in their lives is filtered through that. They have to feel like a real person making real decisions, not an instrument of the plot.

Something I like to do is to make their greatest strength their greatest flaw. I think in writing there's no 'good' or 'bad' character traits - no virtues or sins. I think character traits are neutral, and that they can be used to good or bad effect. I think we do things because of other things that have happened to us, and that these things have positive and negative consequences.

Obviously a character has to have consistent motivations and to change over time. A character shouldn't end the story in the same place where they started. Character focused stories ought to have your characters change throughout the story - Sherlock Holmes doesn't have to have moments of character growth but your slice of life character definitely should. I think the setting around them really helps - giving them foils really helps develop and flesh out both characters.

I feel like that's all pretty basic notes though. For me and characters, there's way more to it than that. It's hard to explain. I think I can only ask that you make the plot and tropes fit the characters, not the characters fit the plot and tropes. Fanfic has a horrible habit of making characters one dimensional and stripping away a lot of nuance to fit in with different slots in relationship dynamic, roles in a team dynamic, or niches in an AU. The character should come first. And love of god if you make their personality seme or uke I will come find you with my yaoi baseball bat.

Oh and the best character-building exercise is to figure out if the character would ever be a cannibal or not and I am barely joking.

[introspectivememories]

cannot tell you how obsessed i am with the idea of natsuo and shouto bonding. they're practically strangers to each other, they've never talked, they grew up in the same house, they love the same people, they know nothing about each other. but after the sports festival, which natsuo watched with fuyumi on facetime, they fall into each other's orbit. natsuo takes shouto out for boba. shouto sends natsuo pics of cats he sees by their house. natsuo gives shouto his first noogie. natsuo teaches shouto how to drive with fuyumi praying in the backseat. for their first hanami together, shouto and natsuo unsuccessfully try to make soba noodles. shouto calls natsuo the first time he gets drunk and when natsuo comes to pick him up, shouto lights up with a call of, "nii-san!", natsuo almost cries.

[kisuminight]

c!George and c!Dream have a bond that lets them feel each other's emotions. It is not a fix-it solution.

~

There is a bitter ember is George’s resonance with Dream. There has been for a while. It started as a small thing, back when Tommy first joined the server. But it grew and grew, until it was a bonfire that George could feel in the center of his chest, winding out from his lungs and strangling his throat like the thorns of a creeping rose.

Dream never named it, but George could guess. It was obvious, from the way it might flicker and wane but always, always flared up again whenever George tried to rely on him these days. First when Tommy burned down his house. And again, when the Badlands attempted their assassination. It’s been an acrid coating on his tongue, worse than brewing potions with spider eyes, since Technoblade… well, since Technoblade.

(George isn’t jealous about him. Isn’t jealous of the way Dream had been excited when Technoblade first arrived on the server, and admiration clicked and fizzed like redstone, even as the bitterness swallowed his appetite and choked at his breath).

The ember has grown into a proper inferno now, like the constant hissing of lava roaring in his ears. It’s hard to hear what Quackity is saying, but the resonance is winding tighter about him because Dream is coming. Dream is coming, and today George is going to demand answers.

-

“Just say you hate me.”

-

Sapnap is dragging George away, away to Mexican L’Manberg. There’s enough lava to drown the whole Nether, a conflagration that could swallow the whole server is burning him from the inside out and he is gasping around the feeling of thorns tearing him apart from the inside. Is this what it feels to swallow a wither rose?

“I don’t—how could he do that? George, let’s go. George—shit, George!”

Sapnap is there. His hands are on George’s arms. George can’t feel it through the armor. Just a bit of pressure as his whole world shakes apart around him. It’s painful, and George can’t breathe. The world is in and out and he can barely make out that they are out of the castle. There are grass blocks underfoot and no walls to lean on.

“C’mon, breathe with me. In one, two, three, four—” Sapnap’s voice curled about his ears, rhythmic and worried. It helped, a little. Gave George enough stability to sooth his own reactions until he could manage something more than panting sobs.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Shut up, George. Keep breathing.”

“I’m fine. What is this?”

Sapnap’s hands squeezed, keeping George from pulling away. He looked worried, the corners of his eyes crinkled and uncharacteristically soft. “It’s a panic attack, George.” The corners of his mouth dragged down. “Of course the first one you’ve had was caused by Dream.”

“No? It’s not my panic attack?” The pain ebbed as the heat did. It didn’t quite die back down to an ember, but the bitterness receded into something more sour, as the roses in George’s throat wilting into something easier to breathe around.

“Really?” Ugh. Sapnap made a face, and George made a face right back. “Okay, sure. Let’s just get to Mexican L’Manberg.” He turned away, but kept one hand tight around George’s wrist to pull him along.

“You are ridiculous,” George told his back, pretending that the sun wasn’t drying his cheeks into a sticky mess. He used his free hand to rub at his goggles. He tugged at the tangle of emotions in the resonance, feeling it spool out as they got farther away from Dream.

Whatever. It didn’t matter that the wilting had turned into the same soupy-bog in his lungs as when Sapnap killed Spirit. George didn’t care about the return of the almost-pneumonia of grief that settled like a fever and made Dream uninterested in the world for days or even taking care of himself. Maybe Dream would feel George’s fury like a fire in turn, and come apologize to bank it.

Tomorrow, probably, because he was so busy with Eret today. Tomorrow, George could get his answers. Demand what Dream was even thinking, and why he was even being this dumb when it made all this wrongness curl about him like a miasma and twist the emotional bleed into something dark.

Dream didn’t come home that night. Or the next. Tomorrow stretched on into the taught, painful pull of a distant resonance, like barbed wire strung between their hearts.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I just want to say something about Kakashi and the fact that he never lashes out against the system or tried to fix it himself.

Something i’ve seen him compared to is Gojo who states he ‘could kill all the higher ups’ but i think a lot of people forget that he also says ‘nothing would change’ (which is funny to me because i saw the manga shot once and remembered it and i don’t watch JJK)

There’s a few reason’s this doesn’t work for Kakashi

1) OG Kakashi couldn’t do that.

Kakashi in OG Naruto wasn’t on par with Hiruzen. He’d lose that fight. Yes he’s an assassine but Hiruzen is a Hokage level shinobi.

He’s not going to be snuck up on that easy and in a 1 vs 1 battle Og Kakashi is not winning. War arc or Hokage Kakashi might win, but not OG Kakashi. He still has a lot of growing to do in his skills.

2) as Gojo said, nothing would change

If Kakashi could and did kill Hiruzen, then what? Tsunade maybe gets convonced to take the job or Danzo gets it. Kakashi ends up a Rogue Ninja away from all his friends, painted as the bad guy for trying to in-force his beliefs over everyone?

Gai is on par with Kakashi. Maybe he could take the rest of Konoha but Gai, Jiraiya (if he’s there), Tsunade (if she’s there)

Like, they’d all probably turn on him and try to kill him. He wouldn’t be there hero. No one would be throwing him parties.

He’d be the bad guy in everyone’s eyes.

This man has lost so much that i think that would shatter him. He wouldn’t have any more will to fight ir change shit. His will to fight the system is already so broken even when we see him go against orders.

3) it doesn’t match Kakashi’s established ‘style’

Kakashi isn’t someone who does things alone. His main motto is teamwork.

If Kakashi were to go against the system and try to change it, he’d do it with his friends. He’d convince them that the system is broken (or maybe they realize themselves like Gai) and that they need to change it.

He’d probably avoid killing.

Kakashi was an assassine but as soon as he gained power he changed the law so instead of killing enemies shinobi were to capture them.

If Kakashi can think of a way to do things without killing, he will. Everyone has a different answer to changing things (Sasuke=kill everyone, Obito & madara= eternal dream, Nagato = making everyone else suffer). Kakashi’s answer is peaceful solution where there can be one.

4) that’s not the point of this story

Naruto wants to be Hokage. Do i think he should have changed and recognized the system? Yes. But that’s not how Kishi wrote it.

In Kishi’s story as we read it, anyone directly against the system is bad no matter what their solution. Zabuza is bad until he ‘changes his mind before death’, Obito is bad until he switches side, Sasuke is bad until Naruto ‘convinces him’)

Kishi would only write Kakashi lashing out directly against the system if he wanted to make Kakashi into a bad guy in his story. Since Kakashi is one of his good guys, he had him silently and slowly changing the system with his own actions and teachings.

Kishi simply didn’t write Kakashi being against the syatem in the same way the JJK author wrote Gojo being against the system because his world is very black and white. Good and bad. (Even though Gojo’s solution is the exact same as Kakashi’s).

Kakashi is a character i believe should have been more against the current system, demanding change because he has lost so much to that system. But that’s simply not the character Kishi wrote.

Edit: may I add this man would absolutely go to bat for his students. He defied Hiruzen to save Tenzo from Danzo. He tell’s his student’s to always put their teammates before their mission and that extebds to putting his precious people over the village if he has to.

[4th-make-quail]

And because I'm not done (yeah this is one of my fave series of cutscenes WHAT OF IT), we also have Noah - charged by Vayne to test out Ashe's commitment to vengeance as he suspects, or to see if she will sue for peace, as Larsa claims.

He starts off needling her, provoking her into finally making her choice (as Larsa said she would), but all that is to the wind as soon as Basch steps forward. Noah can't help himself, he sees red - how dare his brother claim this, when he abandoned him and their mother, and their home, to run away? Noah accepts himself for what he is - a kingslayer indeed - but he cannot accept that Basch has moved past his shame, that he could have found a measure of peace after all he's done. Why should his brother have peace, when he does not?

[genericwizard]

Lately my thoughts about kaeven are so. Aware of the consequences about choosing each other and doing it anyway. There are forces outside our control much greater than us, but we hold on for dear life anyway. Through our joy, we are confident we can win.

[ilovefredjones]

but here i am with arms unfolding / i guess this isn’t quite the end

dodie, arms unfolding / tim fedelre, high school musical: the musical: the series

[ID: 1. lyrics from ‘arms unfolding’ by dodie. they read: ‘hope i’m not tired of rebuilding / ‘cause this might take a little more’

2. maddox from high school musical: the musical: the series. she stands onstage at the camp prom. she’s talking to an audience, but mainly speaking to jet, who is just off camera. the subtitles say ‘it’s a song that used to be my favourite when i was little.’

3. maddox looks at jet, still mostly off screen, with a very faint smile. the subtitles say ‘it made me happy, and it made my little brother happy.’

4. maddox looks at jet with a soft, contemplative expression with her brow slightly creased. the subtitles say ‘and i think maybe we’re ready to be happy again.’

5. lyrics from the same song as 1. they read ‘i think i’d like to try look at you / and feel the way i did before.’ end ID]