#it's so strange that we didn't talk for over a month then I got high and texted him and now everything is so much more messy

[sleep-sounds-nice-rn]

I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him I need to stop thinking about him

[inkskinned]

the car broke down by the denny's where you used to work and therefore could never return to. i am trying to pick out the satisfying parts of my life, one-by-one, like i am 12 and in a frog dissection. everything in my life all viscera and formaldehyde. if i can sort the good things from the bad things, i will have a nice clean pile.

i call you and make it sound like i am happy and hangin' in there! when really i am kicking a rock and i am outside without a jacket and i am so in love with you it makes the little bones in my ear shake. someone called my tinnitus an angel choir. i like that it means i carry the echo of every concert.

this isn't the right setting for love. this is a roadside, and a denny's, and i am nauseous and ashamed i never escaped the town where i grew up. the clouds here are this strange yellow, like spilled sour milk. "someone once told me that the orange coating on the teeth of a beaver is due to the particularly high rate of iron in their enamel," i tell you. "the beaver is the largest rodent native to north america."

your voice is crackly on the other end. i'm going into a garage soon, i might lose you.

what i should be doing is calling the tow truck and explaining that my brother's car (that i'm borrowing) (that i broke now, i guess) needs to be lifted by another, bigger, stronger car (which is love too, i guess).

i shouldn't say so much. i should wait, and let you ask about my mom, and ask if i ever got over that cold, or how it's going at work. i should let you lead the conversation, for once, so the love doesn't leak out of me into the gravel. i open my mouth anyway. "if you had to choose between being a beaver with very few trees or being a tree around a bunch of beavers, which would it be?"

i don't know. your voice always has this warm cast to it when you talk to me, but maybe i am just imagining that - i am a poet, though, so i imagine things sort of chronically. through the static, you sound like you're laughing. are you the beaver?

i know, like, logically, not to fall in love with a girl-that-is-your-best-friend. like, who would i even call if we broke up? you're my best friend, you're the person i'd want to speak to. so what if these last few months we keep sleeping over at each other's houses, calling each other for hours, sending each other poems. so what if you keep wrapping your fingers into mine. no best friends. that is the first rule. what you are supposed to do in that situation is leave the situation.

but my car broke down, so. where exactly am i going to go? the car is a very-old chevvy and also where i almost-but-not-quite kissed you after you'd raised one shoulder and looked up at me and said i don't know, i think i'm straight, but for the right person - i'd try anything. the music had been good and it had been raining and your thick eyelashes had made me feel god crawling up my throat like a spider. and i didn't kiss you, because i am a coward.

anyway on the chevy the whole exhaust pipe fell out, and is now scraping on the ground like one silver finger stroking the back of the highway. recently we were watching netflix in my bed and you pushed my hair back from my face like you were making the slowest, most desperate prayer, and then your boyfriend called. i remember us both jumping. i couldn't look at you in the eyes for like a week after. i kept feeling the heat of your fingerprint; computer science, you'd unlocked something dark in me.

google says the closest tow (joe's pick up) is 50 minutes away and also closed permanently. so that's not great. you live in another state and i should be calling my insurance company. i should be calling anybody else. this is not helping. i need an uber. i need to get moving. instead i say: "i need three words for a poem."

yesterday i said love you, goodnight after our 2 hour call like always and then you just, like. paused. all i could hear was your breathing. and then you'd said what a pretty three-word poem. i love you too, sweet thing. the words made my tinnitus act up again, and i must have some kind of synesthesia, because the sound travelled into my mind until it became the shape wedding rings.

orange, you say. the static is now chewing through most of your words and i only catch - borrowing the chevy -

the call dies. i have 12% battery. i never get the 3rd word, but i know you're still going to get a poem from me. actually this rest stop is kind of pretty, and so is the exhaust pipe, and so is joe's pick up, and so are the clouds. the light here is the color of a glue trap. before you worked at the denny's, we used to get milkshakes every wednesday and called it a friend date. you said you'd wanted to work there because it reminded you of me.

the sign's gone dim. the letters now spell out deny. and isn't that something.

[sailor-aviator]

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Four

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Four

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger warnings: Language, talk of courting and mating, FBI, mentions of murder. Think that’s it.

Word Count: 3.87k

A/N: Here is Chapter Four! A whole lot of setting up what's to come, I think, but hopefully y'all still like it! If you're feeling kind/generous, please consider buying me a ko-fi! Also, if you DO NOT fill out the form below (Tag List) then you will not be tagged! I will be referring to that Google form from now on! As always, reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated! Asks/requests are always open! 18+ ONLY!! You can find me on AO3 under sailor_aviator where I also post my updates!

Series Masterlist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin Tag List

“Are you still feeling alright, honey?” Susan asked you, checking you over. You gave her a small smile as she gave you a once over. Her green scrubs contrasted against her blonde hair, and the wrinkles around her eyes were more pronounced as she frowned at you worriedly. “You’re still taking it easy, right? Remember what Dr. Carson said when he checked you out the other day.”

“I’m fine, Susan. I promise,” you reassured the older nurse. She studied you for a second longer before turning to fix her coffee.

“You know, it’s a real shame about that Morris girl,” she continued. “She was always such a sweet girl. Wasn’t she in your class, Bobby?”

“No, she was a year ahead with Reuben, Nat, and Jake,” he muttered through a mouthful of Cheerios.

“That’s right,” she nodded.

Bob swallowed his mouthful and peered up at his mother. “Are you going to tell us what’s been going on?”

“You know,” she sighed exasperatedly, “I could have sworn I had told you. Or at least I would have if you bothered to answer your phone every once in a while.”

“You could tell me now?” Bob said sarcastically. Susan glared over at him.

“Tone, mister,” she warned before letting out another sigh and leaning against the kitchen counter. “I suppose it’s been a little over two months now since they found the first body. Everyone thought it was just an accident since it looked like a drowning. But then a couple of weeks later another body washed up, and then another one a couple weeks after that. They were all young women about the same age, and they all appeared to have drowned. Maverick was worried that there was a serial killer on the loose, so he called in a favor to Tom. You remember Tom, don’t you, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I remember Mr. Kazansky, Mom,” Bob nodded. “He was only the my baseball coach for most of middle school and high school.”

“Such a sweet man,” Susan nodded with a small smile towards you. “We were all sad to see him leave, but when the FBI offers you a job, what person in their right mind says no?”

“So he and that other guy are here because of this serial killer no one told me about?” Bob asked her, eyebrow raised.

Susan scowled at him, but let out a sigh. “Tom and his partner, Agent Simpson, got here about two weeks ago when the last body was found. I was talking to Tom the other day, actually, and he told me that there were signs of a struggle, which is why they got called in.”

“Should he be telling you that?” Bob frowned. She shrugged, sipping from her coffee mug.

“I think they’re holding a press conference today to discuss everything. He wouldn’t have told me if they weren’t already planning on telling everyone, I’m sure.”

“A serial killer,” you hummed, frowning. “That’s really scary, actually.”

“It is,” she agreed, eyeing you. “Which is why I want you to promise me that you won’t go off on your own at night, alright? You should be fine during the day time, especially with the summer crowds, but I want you to make sure you have somebody with you after the sun goes down.”

“I will, Susan,” you smiled.

Bob peered over at you from over his own coffee mug. “I promised Dad that I’d take the boat out with him today. I don’t suppose you wanted to tag along?”

“No,” you told him, shaking your head. “Nat actually texted me last night and asked me if I wanted to go and hang out at the boardwalk today, and I told her that I did. You’ll be okay without me, yeah?”

“‘Course,” he snorted, moving to take his dishes to the sink. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve ditched me for other friends.”

“If you’re talking about that time in sophomore year when I went with Abby and Rachel to the football game after you insisted that you would be a fourth wheel even though we all told you that you wouldn’t be, then this is not the same situation at all.”

“I beg to differ,” he laughed, heading for the back door.

“You can beg all you want, but it’s the truth,” you giggled. “Oh, wait!”

You got up from your own chair, moving to follow him.

“I think I left my bag on the boat last night,” you told him. “I’m going to grab it before I head out.”

The two of you walked down the stone path until you reached the small strip of sand that led out onto the dock.

“You know I’m not ditching you, right?” You asked him, suddenly worried that your best friend really did think you were trying to leave him behind. Bob snorted and looked over at you with a quirk of his brow.

“Of course I don’t,” he said, making a beeline for the boat that bobbed up and down with the waves. “I don’t expect you to tag along with me everywhere. I’m actually really happy that you and the gang are getting along so well.”

“Okay,” you trailed off. “Good. Because I really like hanging out with them.”

Bob chuckled as he stepped onto the boat, turning to face you. “I know. Stay right there and I’ll grab your bag, yeah?”

You nodded, turning to watch the waves as he disappeared towards the back of the boat. You glanced down when a shine of light danced in the corner of your eye. Sitting on the wood of the dock was a collection of more shells and pearls, and you immediately crouched down to take a better look at them. A couple of sand dollars were added into the mix this time and even more pearls of various shapes, sizes, and colors were mixed in with the lot. You picked each one up gently, inspecting them. Your favorite was the beautiful black pearl that rested in the center of the grouping. The oily colors on its surface danced as you inspected it, and you felt your skin prickle in delight.

Your gaze shifted to the breathtaking conch shell that rested near the edge, and you gingerly lifted it up to get a better look at it. It truly was a marvelous sight. One of the best specimens you had ever had the privilege of seeing.

“How much crap do you carry in this thing?”

You whirled around to see Bob grimacing as he made his way towards you with your simple hobo bag.

“I carry just what I need in it,” you replied to him, reaching an arm out to take the bag.

“What are you doing crouched over here?” Bob asked you, brow furrowing as he handed it off to you. He stopped short when he saw the collection of ocean treasures at your feet. He inspected them before moving his eyes up to meet yours.

“Look at these!” You grinned, gesturing down at them. “These are more spectacular than the last bunch! Have you ever seen such amazing specimens? And these pearls!”

“Yeah,” Bob said uneasily, eyes shifting to look out at the water. “They’re pretty great.”

You stood up suddenly, turning to fix him with a small glare.

“What is up with you?” You demanded, hands on your hips. “You love things like this! You’re the one person I know who gets more excited about this shit than I do, and you’re over here looking like someone just told you they were planning on kidnapping me. You did the same thing yesterday!”

Bob’s eyes widened at your outburst before melting into a sheepish expression as he looked away. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck before letting out a sigh, looking back at you with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” he sighed. “The shells are great, really. I guess I just have a lot on my mind with the murders and all that.”

You felt a wave of guilt wash over you, replacing the annoyance. Your hands moved to pull him into a hug, one he returned.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, okay?” You told him, squeezing him tight. “I’ll be extra careful to not be by myself at night, so you don’t have to worry about me, yeah?”

Bob didn’t say anything for a moment. He pulled back to look at you, a fond smile on his face as he regarded you.

“I’m always going to worry about you, you know,” he smirked, something serious behind his eyes despite the teasing tone he used. “You’re like the little sister I never had.”

“Bob,” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m literally three months older than you.”

He grinned at that.

“Semantics.”

The street was busy as people walked back and forth along the boardwalk, taking in the different rides and stalls as the excitement for summer festival began to grow. Several decorations littered the pathways, all of various sea creatures and more than a few mermaids. You watched the different families, friends, and couples run around to the different events, and you let out a sigh as you checked your phone once again.

Sorry, Skip! Mom needed help with some things at the shop so I’m running late. Give me half an hour!

That had been thirty-five minutes ago, and you hadn’t heard anything. Sighing, you wiped the sweat from your brow, deciding to take a break from the overwhelming heat. You spotted a familiar, little shop and began walking towards it.

The bell above the door rang out as you stepped inside, letting out a breath of relief as the cool air washed over you. The shop hadn’t changed much in the days since you had last been in. There were new novelty items scattered about, but for the most part, Mrs. Cambroni’s shop was still quaint and cheesy.

The old woman appeared from the backroom, giving you a warm smile as she gave you a once over. Her eyes landed on your neck, an eyebrow quirking as she took in the raised skin that still shone in the light.

“My, my, dear,” she hummed, leaning against the counter. “What happened there?”

“Oh this?” You asked, resting your hand over the mark. You suppressed a shiver as a oddly pleasant feeling washed over you. “I had a bit of an accident the other day. I fell of a boat and washed up on shore.”

“Oh, how terrible!”

“Yeah, but I’m okay!” You chirped. “The doctor checked me out and said I was fine, just a little bruised. Said I was really lucky that nothing worse happened.”

“I’m sure you were,” she murmured, eyes still locked on your neck.

“But I guess I must have hit my neck pretty good on some rocks because the bump hasn’t gone away and the algae practically looks like it’s a part of my skin now,” you joked. Mrs. Cambroni blinked at you.

“The…algae?” She asked. You nodded, and she threw her head back in a fit of laughter. You stared at her in confusion until she calmed down, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry, dear. I don’t mean to laugh,” she said through bouts of giggles. “What brings you by my little shop?”

“Oh!” You cried, moving closer to the counter. “Nothing really, I was just waiting for a friend, but she’s running late. So, I thought I’d pop back in and say hi after I got dragged out of here the other day.”

Mrs. Cambroni gave another hum, a knowing look on her face. She took a sip from the cup of tea she held in her hands.

“Have you found any interesting seashells along the beach since I last saw you?”

“Actually, yes!” You smiled, digging through your bag to pull out the collection you were beginning to compile. “I found these over the last couple of days. It’s strange though, none of these were on the beach. I found a pile of them on our boat and then another pile on the dock this morning. My friend said it must have been the current-”

Mrs. Cambroni’s eyes widened as she coughed up her tea, nearly choking on it as she fought to regain control over her breathing. You reached out a hand to soothe her, and she gave you a grateful smile.

“The current, you say?” She said, barely hiding her amusement. You nodded self consciously, and the old woman shook her head with a chuckle.

“Seems to me like you’ve caught the eye of a sea person, my dear.”

Now it was your turn for your eyes to widen. “What?”

“I’m surprised no one’s told you yet,” she mused, setting her cup down and examining the shells and pearls. “It’s part of the courting rituals for their kind, after all. Just like that intention bite on your neck.”

Your blood ran cold, recalling how your first reaction to the raised skin was that it looked like a bite mark.

“But it’s not-”

“Oh, but it is, dear child,” she smiled, no hint of malice to it, just understanding. “I’m not sure why no one is telling you the truth. Perhaps it’s because you aren’t a local, and they don’t know if you can be fully trusted yet. Or perhaps it’s because you were chosen in a moment of frenzy. Choice is such an important piece of the courting ritual, after all.”

“Is that why you’re telling me all of this?” You asked her, brow quirked. “Because you think I should have a choice?”

“Precisely. How can you make an informed decision without all of the pieces?”

“Alright, then,” You started, deciding to amuse the woman before you, “what is it you can tell me?”

“What is it you want to know?”

“Tell me more about the courting rituals. What are they? What does it entail?”

“Well,” she smiled, “that certainly is an interesting first question. It’s simple really. It starts with the bite mark on your neck. What you have right now is called an intention bite. This bite is to let other sea people know that you have been marked as the intended mate for someone. As long as that bite remains on your neck, every sea person who lays eyes on it will know that you are spoken for. If that wasn’t enough of a hint, it changes your scent as well.”

“Are you saying that I smell different?”

“Oh, yes,” she nodded. “But not in an unpleasant way, dear. And as long as that’s the only bite mark that remains on your neck, it’ll fade after a few months along with it. The intention mark is only meant to be a placeholder for the permanent mark.”

“And what is that?” You asked her. Mrs. Cambroni turned her serious gaze to your face.

“That would be the mating mark.”

“And what does that one do?” You murmured, voice barely above a whisper. You weren’t sure why you were entertaining this conversation, to be honest. Maybe it was your longstanding fascination with mermaids that kept you rooted there, listening intently. Or maybe it was because a part of you, one that you were trying your best not to acknowledge in that moment, believed her.

Before Mrs. Cambroni could respond, the bell above the door chimed again, and you both turned to see Nat red faced and out of breath as she looked at you.

“There you are!” She smiled, relaxing as she let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“Sorry!” You exclaimed, gathering your seashells and giving Mrs. Cambroni an apologetic smile. “I was getting really hot and I thought I’d stop in here for a few minutes.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Nat said, watching the older woman with a suspicious frown. “I lost track of the time after I texted you.”

You waved to the shop owner as you followed Nat out the door, the sun bathing you in its warm rays. You peered over at your friend, a mischievous smirk on your face as your eyes lowered to her neck.

“Wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that huge hickey on your neck, right?”

Nat’s hand flew up to her neck, cheeks flushing as she tried to splutter out an excuse.

“So,” you chirped as your friend continued to recover her speech. “Which of the boys is it?”

“What makes you so sure it was one of them?” She muttered, the red on her cheeks growing more pronounced.

You ignored her. “My money is on Javy.”

“How did you know?” She shrieked, earning a couple of stares from passersby. You laughed at her expression.

“I didn’t until just now.”

Nat let out a long groan, hiding her face in her hands. You rested a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said. “I think the two of you are really cute, and I don’t think the others have figured it out yet. I just see the way you two look at each other when you think no one else is. I wish someone would look at me like that.”

Natasha peeked out from behind her fingers, an oddly thoughtful look on her face as she studied you. Before you could ask, she was straightening up, a smile replacing her embarrassment.

“Do you think you could hold off on saying anything?” She asked you. You nodded, holding out your pinky to her. She wrapped her own around it, and the two of you shook on it.

“Scout’s honor, Nat!”

“Good!” She giggled, peering around the boardwalk. “What do you want to hit first?”

After Nat convinced you to take a ride on the tilt-o-whirl, you were sure you’d never walk straight again. You groaned as you fought to stay upright, nearly crashing into a man as you passed him. Your shoulder bumped his, and you turned around to look at him.

“I am so sorry!” You cried, hands reaching out to steady him, but stopping when you noticed that he was just fine. And staring at you. You gave him a sheepish smile, but the look on his face remained impassive. If the world wasn’t still spinning around you, you might have said that the green in his eyes glowed in the summer light. Natasha laughed beside you, throwing out another apology to the man as she dragged you off.

“Never again, Nat,” you said, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“I’m surprised you managed to make it without hurling!” She cackled, leaning you against the wood railing so you could catch your breath.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” you muttered, leaning over the side.

“Natasha!”

The both of you turned to see the weathered face of the FBI agent and his partner strolling up to you.

“Oh! Hey, Mr. Kazansky!” She called out with a wave. You turned to face them just as they stopped in front of you.

“C’mon now, Nat. It’s Tom, you know that,” the older man chuckled, eyes moving to you. “And who is this?”

“Y/n,” you introduced yourself, reaching out a hand to shake his. “But everyone just calls me Skipper these days.”

“Ah! You must be the young lady Susan was telling me about the other day,” Tom smiled. “It’s good to finally put a face to a name. This is my partner, Agent Beau Simpson.”

“A pleasure,” the other man said as he shook both of your hands.

“So are you two enjoying the festival so far?” Tom asked, smile still on his face. “This small town isn’t too boring for you, is it, Skipper?”

“Not at all!” You assured him, shaking your head. “I think it’s quite a charming little place! And everyone has been so nice since I got here.”

“That’s good to hear,” he chuckled, eyes falling to your neck. “Where’s the lucky boy?”

You gave him a confused look, and Nat cleared her throat, stepping up.

“It’s so embarrassing,” she started, giving Tom a pointed look. “Javy and I have been seeing each other on the sly for a while now, and I didn’t even think he left a mark. I’ll have to tell him to be more careful next time.”

Tom glanced between the two of you, understanding dawning on his face. He gave another smile.

“Young love is such a wonderful thing, don’t you agree Beau?” He asked his partner, who just smiled in agreement. “Don’t keep it a secret for too long, Nat.”

“Of course,” she smiled.

“You two are being careful, aren’t you?” Asked Agent Simpson. Nat’s face could have been mistaken for a tomato from how hard she was blushing. Agent Simpson seemed to have realized what he said and a blush of his own crept onto his face.

“With the murders, I mean,” he explained quickly. Tom let out a chuckle as Nat cleared her throat. “We just got done giving a press conference. No curfew yet, but we’re advising young ladies to not be out at night on their own until we can find whoever is doing this.”

“Oh, of course!” You said, nodding your head in understanding. “We’re being careful! It’s such a shame what happened.”

“You two were there, weren’t you?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, we were,” you trailed off, feeling the nausea return at the memory of the girl’s body as it lay in the sand. You suppressed a shudder. “It was awful.”

“It was,” Beau agreed, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Which is why we don’t want to see anything happen to anyone else.”

“You don’t have to worry about us,” Nat said, a determined smile on her face as she looked at the two older men. Tom chuckled, eyes moving from her to you, still studying the mark on your neck.

“No,” he said finally. “I don’t suppose we will.”

You couldn’t help but think back to your conversation with Mrs. Cambroni.

As long as that bite remains on your neck, every sea person who lays eyes on it will know that you are spoken for.

“Well,” Tom started, eyes looking over your shoulder now, “you two ladies have fun! We won’t keep you any longer.”

He made to move, and Agent Simpson made to follow after him. The dark haired man stopped just after he passed you.

“Oh,” he said, “And don’t hesitate to let us know if you see anything suspicious, yeah?”

“We will!” Nat called after him as she started dragging you in the opposite direction. The whole exchange felt weird to you. Why had Tom asked Nat about who the lucky man was when he was looking at your neck? Why did he keep starting at it at all? What had he meant by not having to worry?

You took a deep breath, deciding that you were overthinking the matter and that Mrs. Cambroni’s stories had just gotten in your head. But even as you had made your mind up to ignore your questions, you couldn’t help but feel a pulse come from the base of your neck as if it were begging you to keep questioning.

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[padfootdaredmetoo]

Thomas or Arthur Shelby with a reader who has a very high libido? Yes, it would be interesting.

Dear Anon,

This is pretty steamy or at least I think so. It's a bit on the shorter side and written in point form but I added gifs - which idk I couldn't help myself NSFW!!! But they were too pretty to leave out.

Hope you like it!

Warnings - sex, lots of it, insecurity about body after having a baby, pregnancy sex

18+

Minors please do not proceed. This content is not suitable, please keep yourself safe and stay away. Thank you 💕

Thomas didn't understand how you could always be ready to go. At first, he worried you were forcing yourself to put on a show, trying to keep his attention so he didn't stray elsewhere. It was a reputation he came to hate once meeting you. 

Then he tried to ignore you a little bit, just enough to give you some breathing room. That went over like a lead balloon, and he wondered why women didn't come with individual sets of instructions. You got so upset, furious with him that he wouldn't give you the real reason he was pulling away. Thoughts of other women and dangerous business deals filled your head. Eventually, he gave up promising and attempting to explain why he was giving you space and just fucked you on the desk. How he managed to push the thoughts from your mind? He didn't know. He just knew it was in his best interest to keep you happy and satisfied. 

He still had no idea what turned you on.

You’d often slide across the bench seat and take his hand off the wheel to slide between your legs. This made him late, the temptation to pull over and embrace her properly was too overwhelming. 

People said it wouldn't last long. That you would settle down. But a year had passed and you were just as demanding as the day you'd first hooked up. you didn't seem happy unless his hand was around your throat, him whispering horrid things in your ear.

Initially he didn't understand why on earth you would want him to do such things to / he wasn't sure he could manage it as you were just so soft and sweet looking. He managed and never questioned why ever again. You always had lots of fantasies and would just jump into one when it suited you. Fucking him on the benches of Parliament.

She had no shame. Getting on her knees at the office, taking what belonged to her, and placing it in her mouth. Completely at ease with the space, and unbothered by ruing his schedule or making him suffer during phone calls. 

He’d bent you over countless bathroom sinks. Watching your face in the mirror as he silently ripped into you. 

Mornings where you’d follow him into the shower. 

“No. No - you kept me up half the night. I have a meeting. We talked about this.” He’d scold you, finger raised. “No fucking.” but he could already feel gravity pulling him to your body. Wordlessly you didn't have to do anything but fall to your knees. Water falling into your face. You took him down in one go and it took everything in him not to cum down your throat. Grabbing you by the hair he held you there for a moment. Pulling you away he watched the thrill light in your eyes as you got your way - as always. He pulled you up fucking you against the cold tiles. Loving the way you were desperate for him. Biting your wet skin, the absolute mess you made when you finally let go. How you only laughed when the hot water ran out. 

The unavoidable happened - you were swelling up with his child. Thinking he’d put a baby in you meant your body would be satisfied for the 9 months it was working hard was just another wrong assumption. All it meant was strange positions and multiple orgasms. Fucking you until you said he could finally cum and be done with it. Long nights. Even in the moments of labor when it was just the two of them you’d drag his hand between your legs to try and push away the pain. 

The babe was a challenge to work around, and suddenly you drifted away. Not ever wanting out of your clothes. Bathing with the door locked. He started to realize how your needs balanced him out, he missed your wild adventures. 

Eventually, he caught you late at night before bed - hand between your own legs, sweat across your forehead. He’d entered the room desperate to touch you. Your hands pushed him away. He felt his heart start to break as tears streamed down your face. He begged but you wouldn’t budge. “You don’t want to see me like this” The words finally choked out. He saw it as a challenge. He kept an eye on you to see if you’d really push him off, he got you out of your clothes as he took his time coming back to your body. Worried that perhaps you were still in pain from giving birth. It wasn't something he figured women would just bounce back from, he was in the room as you had requested, and he wasn't sure if he’d recovered from it. Once you were down to your slip, he watched you reach up to turn the lamp off. Leaving him in darkness as his hands slowly peeled it off. He reached over and turned it back on. You let out a sharp noise trying to cover yourself. He finally pieced it together. You didn't want him to see your body, because it was different. 

“Love, come off it. It’s just me” You burst - he didn't realize that women even talked about these things, let alone pressured each other. Pol and Esme told her to ignore them, but a few other friends worked a fear into her head that once seeing her like this he’d be turned off of her forever.

He spent hours working over every part of her. Massaging, kissing, and praising her. Trying to get his wife back. Trying to get her to understand that there wasn't anything that would take him from her. It took all night but he got his wife back one orgasm at a time. 

You got comfortable again, tamed by responsibility and lack of sleep, but just as needy and persuasive as always. 

No matter how tired or beat up he was, there was nothing that would take away his pain or suffering like your embrace. 

Hope this was alright! Let me know if gifs work for these types of asks.

[allthingsfangirl101]

Not The Same Without You – Steve Harrington

Being Steve Harrington's childhood best friend is not easy. You've got Tommy and Carol, Steve's team, and the rest of the school against you. Everyone thinks he's crazy for hanging out with me.

Something you should know about me - I'm your stereotypical bookworm. I never go to school without at least two books in my bag in case I finish the first one. I choose to spend my lunch period and free period in the library reading. I am on a first-name basis with the librarian at our school and at the library down the street from my house.

No one understood why Steve would hang out with someone like me. And if I was being honest, I didn't understand it either.

It made more sense when we got to high school. He stopped talking to me when we started freshman year. I didn't mind. I was starting not to like all the attention our friendship got. I got tired of the sneer comments, the scoffs, and the glares. We had this big talk the weekend before we started freshman year.

~•~

"Y/N?" Steve said, sounding strange. "Can we talk about something? Something that I'm pretty sure is going to make you hate me?"

"Nothing could make me hate you, Steve," I said honestly. "What's up?"

"Well," he said, clearing his throat, "we start high school on Monday."

"That's true," I said when he paused.

"And I'm on the basketball team," he continued slowly. "The team and all the practices and the games are going to take up a lot of my time."

"Steve?" I pushed. "What are you trying to say?"

"Maybe it's better if we don't hang out in high school," he blurted out. My heart jumped into my throat as I stared at him. I could barely see it, but there was a little bit of guilt in his eyes.

"Is that what you want?"

Steve opened and closed his mouth, struggling to answer me. I studied his eyes, trying to see if this was what he really wanted.

"Yes," he said, his voice dropping.

"Okay," I said as I stood up and started slipping on my shoes.

"Okay?" Steve stuttered. "You're really. . . You're okay with this?"

"Not really," I shrugged, not facing him. "But if it's what you want. . ."

I gasped when Steve grabbed my wrist and spun me toward him. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he whispered. "I just. . . I was. . . I thought. . . I'm sorry."

"I understand," I said, my voice dropping. "At least, I can pretend to."

~•~

When my parents found out that I was no longer hanging out with Steve, they tried to hide how relieved they were. My parents have never really liked Steve. They were always worried that his bad habits would rub off on me.

So, for the last three years, I've gone through high school alone - not that I minded. I was fine by myself. I've always been fine with it. Steve was the first person who tried to enter my life and I let him.

Six months into our senior year, my insomnia got really bad. AP exams were only a few weeks away and the stress made my insomnia worse. I slipped on a light jacket and headed downstairs. I walked out to our backyard and started walking along the path that went behind our house to a nearby park.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself, Y/N," came a familiar voice. "It's dangerous."

"Steve?" I said, my eyes adjusting to the flashlight he had shining on me. "What are you doing here? It's 2 am."

"I knew you'd be up," he tried to say lightheartedly.

"And you walked all the way over here?"

"No," he said with a small laugh. "I drove to your house but saw you sneak out the back. Insomnia keeping you up?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "It always does. That's nothing new."

"I know," he said. "Is there nothing you can do to help with it?"

"Steve, what are you doing here?" I asked instead of answering him.

"I used to come over like this all the time," he shrugged.

"True," I said, "but that was almost four years ago. We haven't talked since then. Be honest, Steve. What is going on?"

"Come with me."

"What? Steve, you can't be serious. It's two in the morning and. . ."

"Please," he cut me off. His tone made me freeze. "Y/N, I really need. . . I just. . . I need to get out of here and I want you to come with me. Just for a little while. Please, Y/N. Please come with me. I promise to get you home before your parents wake up."

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice softening as I took a step closer to Steve.

I hadn't noticed that I was rubbing my arms until Steve took off his jacket and draped it over me. I held my breath as he started to pull his hands back. He hesitated for a second, like he was going to grab my hand, but decided against it at the last minute.

"Please, Y/N," he whispered. "I need you to come with me. I just. . . I need you."

One look at his eyes and I knew this was serious.

"Where to, Harrington?"

* * * * *

As we drove to only Steve knew where, he didn't say anything. The radio softly played as we drove through town. I kept glancing at him, wishing he'd say something.

After four years of silence, Steve randomly showing up outside my house at 2 in the morning was weird. Not to mention the fact that he was taking me somewhere and hadn't said anything since we got in the car.

"Steve," I whispered, "can you please tell me where we're going? I'm. . . I'm starting to get a little nervous."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "I know this is strange but. . . I can't really explain it. I've been struggling lately and I was trying to figure out what to do. The only thing I could think of was you. I needed to see you, Y/N. I know you don't owe me anything but. . ."

"It's okay," I gently cut him off. "I just want to know where we're going."

Steve looked over at me and sent me the Harrington Smile that has all the girls in our school falling head over heels for him.

"Somewhere we haven't been in a long time."

It wasn't for another ten minutes that I realized where we were. When I figured it out, I glanced over at Steve. The butterflies in my stomach went crazy when I saw his smirk.

"I haven't been here since. . ." I couldn't remember the last time I was here.

There is a spot in this mountain called Makeout Point that all the teenagers know about. Steve and I found this spot on the other side of the mountain and it's always been our spot. Steve parked the car and we instantly walked over to the nearby picnic bench. We sat on the bench with our backs to the table.

I glanced over at him and, as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, I saw the weight pushing him down.

"Steve?" I whispered. "Please tell me what's going on."

He opened and closed his mouth, unable to admit it. When nothing came out, he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Y/N," he tried to start. "The thing is. . . I'm not sure why. . . It's hard to explain. . ."

I looked down to see Steve move his hands so they were now on the bench. Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached over and gently put my hand over his.

"Please, try," I said under my breath.

"I miss you," he rushed out. He looked up at me, surprise in his eyes.

"You. . ."

"I miss you, Y/N," he said, sounding more confident. "And I am so sorry. I'm sorry I left you and acted like I didn't know you once we started high school. I shouldn't have made you go through it alone. I should've been with you. I should've walked you to class on your first day and every day after. I should've sat with you in the library every lunch and free period. I should've been a better friend to you, Y/N, and I'm really sorry."

"Steve," I stuttered.

"I hate that I walked away from you," he continued. "I hate that I turned my back on you and never turned back. I wish, more than anything in the world, that I could do something to make it right. Can I? Can I fix what I did, Y/N? Can I fix this? Can I do something to make things go back to what they were before? Tell me how I can make it up to you. I'll do anything, Y/N."

"I don't know," I stuttered, my voice soft. "I mean. . . Senior year is almost over. And then who knows what we're going to do after but. . ."

Steve leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. Neither one of us deepened the kiss, but neither one of us broke it either. When we finally broke the kiss, my head was swimming. Steve was smiling softly at me.

"The past couple of years without you," he whispered, his face inches away from mine, "have been the worst years of my life. Every day, I wake up wishing I hadn't suggested we stop hanging out. Every day, I sit in class and try to figure out what I could say or do to fix what I screwed up. I can't live without you, Y/N. The truth is, I don't want to live without you. Not another day."

As he was talking, Steve scooted closer to me. When he finished, he reached up and gently cupped my cheek in his hand and pulled me closer.

"Not another day," he repeated as he pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was deeper than our first. When we broke this one, Steve leaned his forehead against mine.

"Y/N. . ."

"Steve," I cut him off. "This isn't. . . I just. . . This isn't as easy as you're making it sound."

"I know," he said instantly. "I know it's not going to be easy. But I'm willing to do the work. I mean it, Y/N. I will do anything and everything to make it up to you. Anything you want, anything you ask, I'll do it. I haven't been the same without you, Y/N. I need you in my life. Please don't let me go another day without you."

"I don't want to go another day without you," I whispered.

Steve, overcome with happiness, grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap. I gasped as he put his hand on the back of my neck and pressed my lips to his. I moaned as our lips moved messily in sync.

"Say it again," he moaned as he broke the kiss. I leaned back and gently held Steve's face in my hands.

"I don't want to go another day without you, Steve Harrington," I said, watching the lust build in his eyes. "So, please, don't let me go another day without you."

"You never have to go another day without me."

He was about to kiss me again, but I put my hands on his chest, stopping him.

"Steve," I whispered.

"What's wrong, baby?" He said softly.

"You promised to get me back before my parents woke up."

"Right," he chuckled as he reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering. "Let's get you home."

I got off his lap and he instantly grabbed my hand, walking me back to his car. The entire drive back into town, my thoughts on the events of tonight.

We pulled up to my house and instantly looked at each other. Steve leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. I smiled as I moved our lips against his. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Not another day," he whispered.

"Nope," I giggled. "Not another day."

Steve kissed me again before finally letting me get out of his car. I quietly slipped back into my room without my parents noticing. As I lay in bed and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach, I had one more thought.

My parents weren't going to be too thrilled about this.

[bree-cheesy]

Sticky Club

Older Eddie Munson x fem!reader

A/N: Look at me pumping out two fics within like a day and a half. Be proud of me. I decided to try out the Older Eddie hype since I've seen these fics everywhere lately. I hope I did the whole trend justice. It's a little short, but I didn't want to write a huge fic and just wanted to get straight into the shit y'all wanna read anyway.

Side Note: I deleted this cause I wasn't super proud of it at first, but I'm reposting this because I feel like it definitely could've done better than it did. Not to be cocky or anything.

Credit to @patrick-stewart for the gif!

Warnings: SMUT 18+!! MINORS FUCK OFF! Porn with a little bit of plot. Not much plot in this. (kissing, dirty talk, sort of rough eddie, fingering, nipple play, public sex (club bathroom), dirty club dancing, unprotected p in v sex, doggy style rough fucking, loud reader, giving of hickeys.) Older Eddie Munson (early 30's), Younger reader (mid 20's), language. No use of Y/N. Strange guy tried to grind up against reader on the dance floor. I think that's it. As always, let me me know and I'll fix it!

Word Count: 1873

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You were kind of a hermit. You didn’t like to go out much and parties just weren’t your scene. You obviously went out occasionally, but it was probably once a month if that. It’s not that you hated people, you were just focused on your college work and trying to keep up good grades. Your best friends Robin, Nancy, and Steve were avid party goers. They always tried to get you to go out with them, but being the youngest of the group and the only one still in school, there just wasn’t much free time to go out with them. Tonight was different though. It was the end of the semester and all grades were final so you could finally let loose a little. Your friends were taking you out to a concert. It was for a band you hadn’t heard of before, but they said it was an old friend they all had from high school.

“Girl, you look great, don’t even.” Nancy looked at you and smiled. You were wearing an outfit you usually didn’t. Most of your outfits consisted of jeans and sweatshirts, not short tight skirts and tank tops like this. You frowned and looked at yourself in the mirror again.

“You sure?” You pulled the skirt down a little. “Seems a little… skimpy.”

“Trust me, you will be getting laid tonight wearing that. Trust me.” Robin announced, barging in the room uninvited. She looked you up and down and gave you a thumbs up. “You ready? Steve and I are ready to leave.” Nancy nodded and pulled her shoes on before walking out. You sighed and followed the two girls out.

You got to the club the band was performing at and noticed it was packed. There were huge groups of people everywhere. Girls wearing tight band tees and skirts that pretty much showed their whole ass. It smelled like sweat and vodka. Kinda made you gag a little, but you toughed through it. Nancy led you over to the bar to order drinks for everyone while Steve and Robin claimed a booth. You two walked back with the drinks and you slid in the booth next to Robin. You were all talking when a tall man with long brown curly hair, a guitar strapped across her shoulder, and had a t-shirt of the band on it.

“Eddie!” Nancy stood up and hugged him tight. Steve fist bumped him and Robin gave him a high five. Steve introduced you to Eddie and you noticed he stared a little longer than normal. You blushed softly and nervously sipped your fruity drink when he complimented you. “We’re super excited you’re finally performing here! We missed being able to see you.” Nancy scooted over so Eddie could slide in next to her.

“Yeah, missed seeing you guys! This will be good, I promise.” Eddie chuckled and stole a sip from Steve’s drink. Steve scowled and snatched the drink back.

Eddie soon left and the rest of you got up to get close to the performance. You were so nervous. The spark you felt with Eddie was such a huge shock, now you were scared to be so up close to him. The performance started and you didn’t notice how hard you were biting your lip while staring at Eddie until you tasted blood. He glanced at you and smirked while playing the guitar when he saw the blood on your bottom lip. You blushed and looked down. When he started singing you were dancing with Robin while Steve was dancing with Nancy. Eddie’s eyes were on you like a hawk. God, he couldn’t look away. That tight skirt you were wearing was riding up while you swayed your hips. He could almost see the bottom of your black lacy panties.

At the end of the performance, you were still dancing with Robin. You felt someone come up behind you and the strange hands held you tight against the body behind you. You turned your head and saw a weird man practically drooling at you and grinding up against your ass. You pushed him off and Robin stepped between the two of you. He put up a fight with Steve until suddenly he was thrown on the ground. Eddie pushed him to the ground and got security to kick him out.

“You okay?” Steve looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders. You nodded and smiled.

“Yeah. He didn’t do anything serious.” He nodded and let go of you.

The group, with Eddie, sat back down at your booth and Eddie slid in next to you, pushing up close to you so Robin could fit in next to you two. Your breath caught in your throat. He smelled like sweat and faded cologne. It was a scent you could get addicted to. It was dangerous. You learned Eddie was 32. He was a little older than the rest of the group, but that just made him all that much hotter.

“How’d you meet these idiots?” Eddie asked, looking at you with a smile and a tenderness in his eyes.

“Oh, I met Robin when she was graduating and the rest of them kind of just took me in.” You looked down at your drink and sipped it. Eddie put an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him, squeezing you slightly.

“Well, any friend of these people is my friend.” You chuckled nervously and glanced up at him.

Steve was talking about something that happened at his job when you felt Eddie’s hand on your thigh. You gulped nervously and felt him run his fingers in soft circles on your inner thigh. You bit the inside of your lip when he leaned a little closer into you. He squeezed your thigh and raised his hand higher. You put your hand on his, stopping him from going further. He cleared his throat and kept his hand on your knee.

The group had all gotten up to dance and Eddie took your hand, pulling you with him. You gasped softly when he pulled your back into his chest and held onto your hips, swaying the both of you to the music. You bit your lip and shut your eyes, leaning your head back on his shoulder. He ran his hand up your thigh and over your belly, lightly rubbing your breasts over your shirt.

“Eddie…” You moaned softly and he leaned his head down, kissing the side of your neck. You reached a hand back and tangled it in his hair. He tucked his fingers into the top of your skirt and squeezed your ass with the other one. He kissed up your neck and pressed his lips against your ear.

“Feel good, sweetheart? Everyone’s looking at us. Some of the girls look like they wanna kill you.” He flipped you around and you gasped, wrapping your arms around his neck. He grinned and grabbed your ass with both hands, pressing your hips more up against him. “Such a pretty girl…”

You moaned softly and he pressed his forehead against yours, grinding harder against you to the music. “Eddie… please…” 

He grinned and grabbed your hand, pulling you to the bathroom. He locked the door and pressed you up against the sink. His lips crashed down on yours and you groaned into his mouth, kissing him back almost immediately. You hitched your leg up around his waist and he lifted you up onto the counter. Your hands went to the buttons on his black dress shirt and started undoing them, running your fingers over every expanse of skin you exposed. He kissed down your neck and sucked a few marks into it. You smiled and moaned, pushing the shirt off his shoulders. He pulled your tank top off and dropped it on the floor. He kissed you again and squeezed your breasts over your lacy bra.

“Eddie, fuck… that feels so good…!” You moaned into his mouth and he grinned, reaching back to take the bra off, throwing it off somewhere in the sticky club bathroom.

“Yeah? Feel s’good when I touch you, baby? Wanna feel my mouth?” He pulled back and wrapped your legs around his waist. You nodded and moaned, digging the heels of your heels into the back of his thighs. He grinned and his lips instantly attached to your nipple, sucking and biting it. You cried out and threw your head back, tangling your fingers in his hair.

His hands went down and hiked your skirt up so he could slip his hand in your panties. “Fuck… So goddamn wet already…!” He groaned and swirled the tip of his tongue against your nipple. He rubbed your clit in time with his tongue and you panted heavily, grinding up against his hand. “Such a good fucking girl…” He grabbed your thighs and pulled your panties down your legs, shoving them in his back pocket. He slipped two fingers inside you in time with his thumb rubbing your clit. You instantly clenched down around his fingers and moaned, grabbing onto his shoulders.

“E-Eddie, your fingers a-are so big…!” You whined and bucked up harder against his hand. “I need… I need more… Please, Eddie…”

“Please what, honey? Use your words.” He mockingly pouted and fingered you faster.

“F-Fuck me! Please fuck me!” You cried out and sobbed in pleasure, pulling at your nipples.

He pulled you off the counter and bent you over it. He pulled his aching cock out and spit on his hand, stroking it a little before slowly pushing in. You groaned in unison, creating a song of pleasure between the two of you. He didn’t hold back at all. He growled like an animal and fucked you hard, the slapping of skin loud and could be heard over the muffled music behind the bathroom door. You sobbed, your eyes filling with tears of pure pleasure, moaning and gripping the counter hard.

“Goddamn, baby… So fucking tight around me… Gonna fucking milk me dry, huh? Want my cum deep inside you, honey?” You nodded and moaned louder.

“Y-Yes…! Please cum so deep inside me! I want it so bad…!” Your mouth hung open and he went faster.

“Cum for me first, baby. I’ll give you anything you want if you cum all over my cock.” He groaned and rubbed your clit in time with thrusts.

You cried out, finally given permission and came harder around his cock, squeezing hard around him and moaning loudly. Eddie grunted and groaned, grabbing your chin and pulling you up to kiss you hard, still pounding into you from behind. You begged and pleaded with him to cum and he finally granted you your wish, cumming deep inside you and moaning into your ear. You both caught your breath and your eyes shut as you slumped against the counter. You heard him grab some paper towels and get them wet, wiping your sensitive cunt clean before helping you fix your clothes. You both walked out of the bathroom a few minutes later and your group all gave you knowing looks. Eddie grinned and kissed your cheek while you blushed and buried your face deep in his chest in embarrassment.

[wandabear]

WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

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Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months. Based on Yellowjackets

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

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THIS CHAPTER HAS SERIOUS WARNINGS: +18 Angst, death, violence, blood, mentions of abuse and allusion to anthropophagy -cannibalism- if you squint; minors dni. Please, as I said before, this is going to be harder on this chapter. And I'm responsible for letting you know that, but if you don't like it, you can choose not to read it. Or skip the 'BEFORE' and go to the 'NOW'. ㅤㅤ

Author's Notes: I must clarify again, all of them are 18 years old or more. Many characters -not the main ones- will not survive, and some will act in a way that is not okay. That doesn't mean I hate them or I don't like them. I just need the story to make sense.

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER SEVEN

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ㅤㅤBEFORE

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That night marked the beginning of one of the worst moments of their lives. The horror got worse when they came back to the cabin, found the worst scene they could have imagined.

Many of the girls were on a completely psychedelic and dangerous trip due to the intake of alcohol and hallucinogenic mushrooms. Others didn't seem to have survived the overdose. ㅤㅤ

Natasha ran over to Yelena when she saw her throwing up in the bushes, Kate standing next to her, completely pale. The blonde didn’t stop crying and vomiting, kneeling next to the body of her girlfriend, her best friend, her soulmate. She was gone. ㅤㅤ

The night that should have been special, turned into a nightmare that many couldn't easily overcome.

ㅤㅤ

“How did you know where to find us?” Y/N asked Jules, trying to be strong when Wanda cleaned her face so she wouldn't have infections. Y/N had a severe cut over her swollen eyebrow, cheekbone, and lip. Two huge bruises in the rib area.

ㅤㅤ

Those who were feeling better were trying to get over the nasty hangover. While those who didn’t seem to be very well, were in the kitchen.

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“It was the deer woman.” Jules murmured almost imperceptibly, covering herself with a blanket. She felt awful chills, trying not to pass out from hunger and dehydration.  “She told me to.”

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They all looked at each other not knowing what to say. Half of them were high, so they weren't going to judge her, but Y/N, Wanda and Natasha seemed pretty worried.

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Yelena frowned. “The fuck are you talking about?”

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Jules kept her blank gaze. “She said that she hates mischievous evil man… and and- I did it-”

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“What does that mean?” Nat asked this time, it was strange that Jules was the only one who managed to hear that ‘voice’.

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“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS DRUGGED!” Jules finally snapped and then began to cry. It felt horrible, and they all seemed to want to know the reason for everything. Except for Wanda, who seemed grateful.

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“Guys, you're asking too many questions and some of them can't even put two words together.” Wanda tried to bring peace. “She just saved us.”

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“She just… YOU WERE HIGH WITH FUCKING MUSHROOMS!” Hope moved closer to Jules, not in a very nice way.  “You killed someone because you were high! You killed our coach! The only adult who could guide us in this madness!”

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“Hey, don't talk to her like that!” Natasha stood up and pointed at the girl, making her step back.  “You were too while you were drooling the ground like a fucking worm.”

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“I killed him because he was going to do something to Wanda!” Jules sniffed, a little surprised that Nat stood up for her.

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“Well, we don't know now how it was because the Coach is dead!” Sharon huffed, but those words earned everyone's attention. ㅤㅤ

“Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm lying?” Wanda frowned, leaving that towel aside. Y/N was about to get up and hit Sharon, but didn’t because Wanda placed a hand on her shoulder.  

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“The fuck is wrong with you?!” Y/N screamed anyway, feeling a shooting pain due to the swelling.

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“All I'm saying is we should listen to both sides...and one is dead. Chopped. TWICE.” Sharon shook her head, perhaps a bit sorry for her words or perhaps she still believed in that.

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“I was there, he wanted to…” Wanda swallowed hard. “h-he wanted to do things against my will... And if you don't believe me, just look at Y/N's face.”

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Y/N sighed deeply, trying to calm down. She was furious, especially with herself. Feeling so guilty and angry, how did she let him touch Wanda? How had she been so useless? She couldn't protect her.

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FIVE DAYS LATER

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Things didn't seem to improve between them, much less in survival. According to Jennifer, they have been there for three months now, and now winter has arrived.  It could be seen in their faces, their bodies, and their spirits.

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Their lips dry and cut due to the cold, they were kept warm thanks to the fire that was lit all day. And sometimes even the blankets weren't helpful.

The worst came when some of them began to have flu symptoms, they were treated in the attic but without any kind of help, the condition progressed to pneumonia and died.

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The loss of those girls created a massive rift in them. The ones who believed that what happened to Jules had some kind of epiphany, and who just believed that it had been pure coincidence.

Strangely, those who first criticized her later began to treat her differently.

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Wanda sighed deeply and looked at the water in the bucket. Her pale hands turned red as she began to scrub the clothes. She didn't know why she did that, maybe because she didn't want to freeze to death in a corner. It was just water, they didn't even have soap anymore.

ㅤㅤ

“Are you okay?” Y/N knew it was the stupidest question she could ask, but did it anyway. Wanda was far from being okay, like all the other girls.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N was coming back from the day's hunt, which wasn't a hunt but more like wandering through the cold woods and looking for something to eat.

Her face was still hurt, although the swelling gradually disappeared, those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too., those wounds were beginning to heal slowly too.

ㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hands, completely reddish from the cold, and caressed them to keep them warm.

Y/N knew that Wanda was having a difficult few days after Ward attacked her. Although the brunette tried to hide it, Y/N knew that the sadness inside was increasing. Nobody deserved to go through that.

ㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I'm just doing some laundry for myself.” Wanda only kept her gaze lowered, hadn't been feeling well for days.  “I don't like keep on wearing the same clothes, even if it's stupid and doesn't make sense.”

ㅤㅤ

 “Makes all the sense in the world, okay?” Y/N smiled tenderly and caressed her cheek, making Wanda look up. But even though those expressive green eyes could show all the love she felt inside, Y/N could also see the sadness and fear.

ㅤㅤ “I’m scared, detka.” Wanda said in a shaky voice, about to cry. Although she tried to be positive, everything seemed to get worse.  “I don't want to die.”

ㅤㅤ

“I won't let anything happen to you.” Y/N said worriedly, cradling Wanda's face in her hands.

ㅤㅤ

“I want to do so many things, you know? I want to go out with you on a nice date, I want to visit New York too.” The sokovian finally cried. “I want to tell everyone that I love you…”

ㅤㅤ

“Wands…” she whispered; Y/N's vision was clouded by tears.

ㅤㅤ

“I want us to go to dinner with my parents, because I know they will adore you. And- and I want to live, I don’t want to die here.” Wanda finally burst into tears, hugging her girlfriend tightly.

Y/N just closed her eyes, allowing the brunette to cry for a while. ㅤㅤ

However, when she looked up to look out the window, Y/N could only see something beautiful and terrifying at the same time. It was snowing, and that could only mean the worst.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤ

Tired of listening to how some of them argued with each other, the redhead decided to go out for a moment even though it was cold. Nat left the cabin and noticed how Jules was wrapped in a blanket, watching the trees.  “Hey… It's cold here.”

ㅤㅤ

But Jules didn't even answer.

ㅤㅤ

“It’s snowing…” Nat continued even though the dark-haired girl still ignored her. Snowflakes fell again and again, sealing their fates.  “It used to be something beautiful.”

ㅤㅤ

“I just want to be alone.” Jules murmured, settling in between the covers.

ㅤㅤ

“It's understandable when you've got fifteen girls in there talking for three months.” Nat smirked. She was trying to be nice to Jules, for the first time.

ㅤㅤ

Natasha just sat next to her, but far from making the brunette's heart race as so many times before, Jules just kept her gaze on the trees. Lost. ㅤㅤ

“Half of them think I'm special or something, and it just freaks me out. I'm sick of it.” Jules swallowed, she hadn't been the same since the Doomcoming.  “Half of them thinks I'm crazy… Maybe I am, I don't know what to think anymore.”

ㅤㅤ

Natasha turned to see her, a warm look this time. “You saved the girls, that's what matters.”

ㅤㅤ

“I can't think about it, only the blood on my hands.” The lump in her throat made it difficult for her to speak.  “And every time I get colder and hungrier. We are.”

ㅤㅤ

She turned to see Nat, both of them sharing a moment and a necessary connection.

For the first time, Natasha felt like wrapping her arms around Jules and not letting her go. Maybe because she felt that Jules wasn't looking at her the way she used to, and that affected her.

But the cabin door opened and a blonde came out of the house, walking towards them. Carol was holding a book, quite dusty.

ㅤㅤ

“Jules, come here. You must see this.” The blonde took Jules's hand and pulled her; Carol seemed more excited than the girl. They all entered the cabin again. ㅤㅤ

“Easy, Danvers. What are you talking about?” Natasha frowned, noting that Jules didn't seem to want to but she did it anyway.

ㅤㅤ

“We found this book behind some old wood in the attic, under where we found the symbol, remember? The rare symbol under the guy's corpse.” Carol exclaimed excitedly.  “You are the link with what surrounds us, with the wilderness. That horned or deer woman whatever, it’s… it’s the wilderness.”

ㅤㅤ

They all seemed quite confused, especially Y/N who was coming out of the kitchen with Wanda.

ㅤㅤ

“I’m not-” Jules said, her lips twitching uncomfortably. “I was just hallucinating.”

ㅤㅤ

“We found this in the stuff of the guy who lived here.” Helen Cho picked up the book and brought it closer so they could read it.  Jennifer looked at it a bit skeptically.

ㅤㅤ

‘Deer Woman and the Myth…’ Jennifer couldn't finish reading what it said, the book was destroyed by mold.   ㅤㅤ “It says here that the deer woman hunts men who have hurt women or children. She punishes them. See?” Helen and Carol looked excited. “It's what happened to you!”

ㅤㅤ

“That's not what happened.” Jules frowned, already more tired of all this. She's sick of everyone expecting something different than what it really was. “I killed Ward, I was high, that fucker was abusing one of my friends, that’s it.”

ㅤㅤ

“Yes, but-”

ㅤㅤ

“You both are taking this too far! This is just a stupid book full of myths and legends.” Natasha finally intervened between them.

ㅤㅤ

“Well, I do wanna know what it says there.” Sharon stepped forward, crossing her arms, ready to face them.

ㅤㅤ

“A lot of stuff in French but-” Helen muttered, opening the book and pointing to several old yellow pages. “It looks like the guy wrote some things at the bottom of the book.”

ㅤㅤ

“…‘she… it wants blood’.” She tried to translate the French, narrowing her eyes.  “Spill blood and you will get what you want. Something like that.”

ㅤㅤ

“That’s creepy.” Yelena frowned, walking away from that book. ㅤㅤ

Pietro came over to take the book and look at it, those girls were definitely starting to lose their minds. “I knew that guy was up to no good. Burn this now if you don't want to go crazy.”

ㅤㅤ

“But if you think about it, he's right. The guy.” Carol tried to convince them, or perhaps convince herself to believe in something before giving up and die there.

ㅤㅤ

“What are you talking about?” Y/N finally snapped. “He killed himself!”

ㅤㅤ Wanda stayed by her side, watching everything.

ㅤㅤ

“No, but... Every time someone dies, the wilderness rewards us with something.” Helen seemed so excited about it, she looked crazier than usual and that was already a lot. She used to be quite a quiet girl. “When Ward and the girls died, that boar came to us and let you kill it, remember? We ate for days… When Monica died of pneumonia a month ago, that flock of birds crashed into our cabin.”

ㅤㅤ

The mention of Monica made Pietro clench his fists, but he said nothing. Just let the others take over.

ㅤㅤ

“That was pure coincidence!” Y/N chuckled wryly, couldn't believe what she was hearing. “We were lucky! That’s it!”

ㅤㅤ

“You don’t know that!” Sharon snapped. “Maybe we should give that thing more deaths to feed us.”

ㅤㅤ

“What the fuck, Sharon?!” Natasha's eyes widened. She went too far.

ㅤㅤ

“Have you gone completely crazy?” Y/N yelled, several seemed quite surprised or pissed by the blonde's words, others not so much.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm starving, and don't act like everyone doesn't think the same!” The blonde reached out to take the book from her friend's hands and pointed at them.  “We are weak, we barely manage to wake up in the morning and get more wood!”

ㅤㅤ

“Yelena can't even catch a fucking fish, you're closer to catching a cold-” Hope added.

ㅤㅤ

“сука! The lake is fucking frozen!” Yelena yelled angrily, also insulting her in Russian.

ㅤㅤ

“It's winter, the lake froze over and we haven't eaten anything but bug or belt soup for a fucking week.  A FUCKING LEATHER BELT.” Sharon got fed up and took off, going up to the attic. Many girls followed after them, clearly choosing a side.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N and the girls looked at each other, knowing that this would bring nothing but madness.

ㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed deeply, feeling how the cold froze every part of her skin. They were lucky to have a few furs and clothes to survive outside for at least a  few hours. Their noses and sensitive parts of their faces were red and bruised from the cold. Nat walked beside her, trying to brush away the snow as they walked through the trees.

ㅤㅤ

“They're acting strange.” Y/N whispered, Natasha loaded the rifle ready to shoot whatever they saw.

ㅤㅤ

“I know. What Sharon said yesterday... they're losing their minds.” The redhead wrinkled her nose and pointed towards one of the trees, thinking that maybe it was a bird but then she noticed that it was just leafs. “Fuck! We all are. I thought that was a damn bird.”

ㅤㅤ

“I don't know what's wrong with them but if Sharon looks at me like that again, I'm going to throw her off a cliff.” Y/N growled, climbing a huge rock to observe some movement around them, but only saw snow and trees.

ㅤㅤ

“We’re hungry. We need to eat protein, and it's already started to snow. Yelena can't fish anymore, and we can't find anything.”

ㅤㅤ

Y/N looked worried. Natasha was always their leader, ever since she joined the team. If she didn't know what to do, then they were lost. “What are we going to do?”

ㅤㅤ

 “I don’t know.” Nat looked at her sadly, there were only a few more hours to walk before the sunlight went out.

ㅤㅤ

Hours later, both returned to the cabin completely exhausted and discouraged. They had found nothing, not even a wretched worm to catch.

They all looked at them hopefully, like every afternoon, but they did not bring empty hands.

ㅤㅤ

“You’re okay?” Wanda asked quickly, reaching out to help them remove their clothes and move them closer to the fire. They could take a hot bath in the tub with water that they heated on the firewood, but sometimes it was better to only do it in extreme cases.

ㅤㅤ

But Sharon intervened, arms folded, growing weary. “AND? Did you get anything?”

ㅤㅤ

Neither said anything, they simply kept their gazes on the flames that flared as much as Sharon's anger. Y/N shook her head.

ㅤㅤ

“I see you guys come back empty-handed like the losers you are, and I thought you couldn't be more useless.” The blonde spat, moving from one side to another like a caged animal. Now it wasn't just Sharon, but some of the girls. “You two are death itself.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to say it to my face? Huh?” Y/N finally snapped, rushing towards her but Nat stopped her. “I’ll fucking kill you! I'm done with you!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it, PLEASE, at least we would have something to eat!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The screams drew everyone's attention, who came into the room worried. Natasha kept trying to stop Y/N, but Sharon made it pretty difficult by saying that stupid thing. “Don’t say that! What the hell is going on with you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We already tried your options, and it got us nowhere. You two go hunting every day and come back empty-handed.” Some girls nodded.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It's hard when there's nothing but damn snow!” Y/N huffed. “The river is frozen-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have nothing else to eat but the bones of the birds that crashed into the cabin, and I'm sick of dead bird soup!” Sharon spat out the poison, turning to look at the others. “This is fair… Who thinks we should try our option now?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sharon, I understand that you always wanted to be the center of attention, but shut up already.”   

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We have already tried, letting you go hunting and they have not brought anything.” This time it was Carol who said that, surprising her friends especially Y/N and Jules. “Maybe it's time to try something new.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes.  “What do you mean, Carol? You can't be serious.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Someone has to die.” Helen held up the book, pointing to the pages.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just opened her eyes wide, unable to believe what she was saying. She just shook her head, taking Y/N's arm to calm her down.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re insane.” Jules laughed wryly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do this, it's madness.” Natasha giggled sarcastically, she really couldn't believe the stupidity and ignorance she was hearing.  “It's an old book by a fucking suicidal guy! doesn't it tell you something?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry? Have we gone back to the time where we had to sacrifice people?” Wanda said annoyed and disgusted just thinking about it. “Have we gone that far?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you tell me, four-eyes. We are heating water in pots and living by candlelight.” Sharon hissed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I TOLD YOU DON'T CALL HER THAT!” Y/N pushed her, Sharon responded in the same way until they were all separated again. Pietro seemed to hold back, keeping to a corner. If Y/N hit her, he would be very proud.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone, choose NOW.” Sharon pointed at everyone.  “I'm sick of useless leaders. We are less and less, and the most coherent way is for one of us to sacrifice herself for the others, going away.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jennifer put a hand to her face, trying not to hit her for the nonsense she was saying. Y/N, Wanda and the others were the same. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Helen nodded. “When wolves know that they are going to die, they know they are a burden to the pack. They just go away to die alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not a pack of wolves.” Nat added, rolling her eyes and putting her hands on her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we'll do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ 

“Sharon… you’re going insane.” Y/N moved closer until she was in front of the blonde, but Sharon just looked at her with enormous anger and envy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“YOU ALL. Vote right now, who wants to keep eating bug soup or do something about it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

First, they were all quite doubtful whether to do it or not. They didn't want to cause more trouble, but at the insistence of both, they began to raise their hands.

Those who wanted to keep following Y/N and Natasha, or who wanted to try Sharon and Helen's way. They were seven against eight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh no.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned, seeing how some of them looked at her with pity but they had already decided, betraying them. The last one to give the final vote to them was Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Good.” Sharon smiled.  “We'll make it easy. Pass me the deck.”  

ㅤㅤ

The blonde took the deck of cards that Hope gave her and showed them one of the cards. The Queen of Hearts. “We will take a card, and the one that draws the Queen of hearts... is the one who must go and face the wilderness.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha chuckled wryly, shaking her head. Really hurt by how crazy they were getting. “Oh, you guys had everything planned out perfectly while we were away, didn't you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I understand that being hungry can make you all impulsive and reduce your fucking ability to make decisions in the long run, but this is wrong.” Y/N added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She took Wanda's hand to get away from that group and go up to the attic, feeling enormous pain for their betrayal. “So fucking wrong.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ

Gathered in the attic and illuminated by a gas lamp, Y/N looked at the door before approaching her friends. There were Wanda, Natasha, Yelena, Jules, Pietro and Jennifer.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is crazy.” Y/N whispered, watching them with concern. “We must stop them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha sighed. “What do you suggest to do?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is my fault, they're crazy because of what I said when I was on mushies. I'm sorry.” Jules mumbled, her gaze completely lost.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is not your fault. Hunger is having a serious effect on them, it’s affecting them psychologically." Wanda leaned over to take the girl's hand, squeezing it softly. Thanks to Jules she was alive, she didn't care if was dancing naked to some weird god while she was high, Jules saved them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They're planning to kill us one by one.” Jennifer glanced at the attic door out of the corner of her eye, a little worried. “They were our friends.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not mine, tho. They hated me a little.” Wanda scrunched her nose.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe they're just bluffing.” Y/N just closed her eyes, completely stressed and in pain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don’t know…” Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Remove the bullets from the rifle… None of them are to be trusted now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

That small group looked at each other and nodded.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain.

Gathered in a circle, they all looked at each other in front of the cabin. That place where long ago they had celebrated together, laughed and danced.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The cold began to burn their skin while Helen brought the book, the others carried the skull of the deer they hunted that first time. Like a divine message, inside the cabin, the fireplace burned fiercer than ever.

Y/N and Natasha looked at each other worriedly. This was insane.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to find a way to stay alive.” Helen said and lit one of the candles on the skull. Carol brought that deck of cards to which they whispered: ‘We hear The Wilderness and it hears us.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is fucked up.” Y/N whispered, but no one paid attention.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda settled next to her, holding her hand tightly and Pietro's on the other side.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol held up the queen of hearts card for everyone to see, then arranged it in the deck, shuffling it well so it would get lost among the others.

Now everything depends on luck or wilderness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Carol pulled out her card, followed by Sharon and Helen, who pulled out others. Neither was the queen and that made them sigh. The blonde approached Natasha, who just snorted.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do it or it will be you.” Sharon ruled, approaching with a menacing look. Swallowing, the redhead looked at her with a deathly glare and took a card. It took her a few seconds to show it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Eigh of spades.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Next was Jules, who with trembling hands took the card and looked at it before showing it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Five of diamonds.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette sighed and Carol approached each of them, who were taking a card until she reached Y/N. Keeping her gaze up, Y/N walked over to take a card.

Before looking at it, she clenched her jaw and lifted it up.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Ace of Clubs.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The girl just swallowed and handed the card back to Carol, staring at her. The blonde seemed so guilty, couldn’t even keep her gaze on her friend.

The sokovian smiled and exhaled leaving that fear, feeling an enormous release when she saw that Y/N was safe.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The next one was Wanda, who moved a little nervously but Y/N smiled slightly at her, trying to make the girl feel safe.

Before everyone's gaze, who looked like enormous birds of prey, Wanda inhaled deeply and took the card from the deck, closing her eyes and praying she wasn't next. When she turned the card over, Wanda knew that the die was cast.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Queen of Hearts.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N's body tensed upon seeing the card, when it fell to the ground because Wanda's hands began to shake.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Half of them gasped while others looked at her like she was dinner.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“This is the way we all made the deal.” Sharon closed the book and walked over with the hunting knife, handing it to Carol.  “You can submit or you can run.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The fuck?!” Natasha stepped forward, as did her friends, shielding her. Pietro stepped in front of his sister, about to go at whoever it was. But even though they tried, the other girls surrounded them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Especially when Sharon raised the rifle, pointing it at Pietro’s chest. “It’s what we all agreed on. Stay away or I will shoot.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That rifle has no bullets.” Y/N scoffed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“There's one on the rifle, one on my pocket… that I took before you guys went hunting yesterday.” Sharon smiled all smug and then loaded the gun, making the cartridge jump, proving her right. “I won't ask again. MOVE.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all tensed, but Wanda moved forward leaving them behind. Her huge green eyes showed the fear she felt, as well as the tears.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We're not really doing this, are we?” Y/N giggled and took a step towards Wanda but one of them stopped her.  “Come on, it was just a joke. You can't do this shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But none of them listened, the only one who seemed concerned was Carol. Pietro managed to punch one of them and moved forward but another hit his stomach, crumpling him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s Wanda, she saved and healed your wounds.” Y/N tried again, watching as her girlfriend closed eyes and let the tears fall.  “You all actually lost your minds!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They all started screaming as Sharon advanced with the knife on Wanda.  “Things must be done as the wilderness commands.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't you dare touch her.” Pietro hissed, trying to get free but three of them held him now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this… This doesn't make any sense.” Jules prayed that they would open their eyes, leave the madness behind.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” But when Sharon raised the knife, Y/N exclaimed in despair:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I volunteer!” Y/N took a step forward, not knowing what that meant or what was going to happen, but she would do anything to save Wanda’s life. “Let it be me!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can’t do that.”  Wanda shook her head quickly. Now the fear was much worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, she can.” Sharon cut her off, then pulled out the hunting knife and gave it to Carol.  “If wilderness accepts it, it is.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took a step forward, taking courage, for the first time in her life. Her friends tried to stop it but Sharon pointed at them again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Turn around.” Carol ordered, swallowing hard. Y/N just swallowed and turned around slowly and awkwardly, feeling how her muscles hardened. She didn’t know if it was because of fear or cold.

Y/N looked at her friends for the last time, who only seemed to cry and scream. The coldness of her knife blade made her jump.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gasped. “Wait!” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Bravely, she took Carol's hand and turned to face her once more. Her hands and legs trembled like jelly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not like that.” Y/N turned to face Carol, feeling how tears fell down her face. Like her, Carol allowed herself to shed tears as well. “You're gonna have to look me in the eye… if you're going to slit my throat, do it by looking me in the eye.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

For the first time, Carol hesitated. She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry but it was impossible.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t do this to me, Y/N.” Carol whimpered, feeling her hand shake. The edge of the knife began to scrape Y/N's skin, but the seconds passed and she couldn't. “I can’t.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde’s voice cracked. “You’re my friend.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The Y/N team sighed in relief.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You've always been good at kicking but never at using your head.” Y/N murmured whimpering too, remembering the times both participated in the best plays together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde came closer to whisper something in her ear, without removing the knife from Y/N’s neck. But with her free hand, Carol hugged her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” Carol whispered with a shaky voice. “The rifle only has one bullet on the barrell. Just one.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Y/N whispered too, widening her eyes in fear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Run.” Without further ado, Carol pushed her away towards the door and lunged at Helen to punch her, allowing Y/N to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You fucking traitor!” Sharon screamed and shot Carol in the chest, taking her life instantly. At the horrified scream of the other girls, the blonde ran after Y/N leaving the rifle but taking the axe.

Nat and Jules rushed over to Carol to try to help her and stop the blood but it was impossible. The lost look and pale face of the girl only showed that she died. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Stay here and keep them here.”  Pietro told his sister before going out the door.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Pietro, please.” Between tears, Wanda prayed that her brother and Y/N were okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you running? Is that your choice?!” Sharon ran after Y/N between trees. Screaming and howling like wild animals, she and Helen ran across the Canadian arctic tundra.

While running on the cold snow, Y/N looked back when she heard a horrible human howl.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were crazy, they had lost their minds. They shot Carol. She stopped behind the huge tree, trying to lose them.

Y/N closed her eyes when she heard the footsteps of those girls, following her way.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N tried to hold back crying, just clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. She was so afraid, like never before.

Y/N didn't want to die, she didn't want to leave this world, she wanted to have a girlfriend, be a better person, choose a good career at any college that would accept her. It wasn't fair to end her life like this.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It wasn’t fair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought her eardrums would burst soon.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she heard their howls approaching again, so the girl ran back in the opposite direction. She knew this place, traveled it thousands of times more than them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Use your head, Y/N.” She told herself before taking one of the paths towards the lake. Behind the lake was the place she found long ago, where she and Wanda used to hang out. That place would be good to hide, yes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N ran across the frozen white lake, despite the stumbles and pain. Despite the cold she felt, she ran with all her might.

Especially when she heard how they were running after her in the lake. But after a few minutes, the terrifying sound of crack made her stop short, fear paralyzed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ Slowly, the ice around her began to crack but if she didn't move, everything would be fine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Of course, the others didn't seem to have noticed, so when Helen and Sharon ran towards her desperately, Y/N turned to see them taking a step back.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’ll die.” Sharon raised the axe.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We all will eventually.” Y/N swallowed and waited for the end. She stomped on the ice below them and it shattered completely, causing them to fall into the frozen water.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The frozen water threatened to freeze her lungs.

Y/N swam into the water and tried to rise to the surface, but something grabbed her leg, pulling and sinking her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sharon insisted on haunting her life, even to take Y/N with her. ㅤㅤㅤ

They struggled underwater until slowly their hands lost the strength to continue. Y/N saw with sadness how the light was lost in Sharon's gaze, she was gone.

Sharon's frozen hands were still clinging to her jacket, pulling it down.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And soon she would be gone too.  Feeling how the last breath and air escaped from her lips, Y/N closed her eyes.

But at the last moment, like a miracle, a hand grabbed her arm and pushed to the surface. Not just her, but Sharon as well.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Pietro helped Y/N out of that hole, both desperate for as much air as their lungs would allow, even though it hurt like thousands of daggers.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Th-thank you.” Y/N stammered shivering with cold. She took Sharon's arm and they both pulled that body out of the water. “Why risk your life for two corpses?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“B-because you deserve to live, you m-make my sister happy like I've never seen her… and as I told you before, you're a good l-leader.” Pietro was shaking too, getting up slowly and helping Y/N to do the same. "And her? We d- we don't want them to think we killed her, you both fell into the r-river. We'll b-bury her like the rest.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

When they both arrived at the cabin with Sharon's cold body, they all seemed quite surprised and sad at the same time.

Sharon's madness had brought everyone to a point of no return, especially for Y/N and Carol.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely frozen, the first to take the hot bath was Y/N, who wouldn't stop shaking. Pietro spent a long time in front of the fireplace, until the bath was ready. Of course, that decision would cost him dearly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her gaze was so lost in the flames of the fireplace; how had everything become so terrifying?

Y/N felt like something inside of her completely snapped. Deeply broken. Perhaps being about to die slit by one of her friends, or seeing that friend die in front of her, plus they hadn't eaten well for three months.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It was all so painful that she allowed herself to shed a few more tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha's soft voice caught her attention, but Y/N couldn't take her eyes off the fire.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Asking if everything was alright seemed fucked up, so the redhead decided to go for the best she could: “Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally looked at her with a look full of sadness but also kindness.  “Where’s Wanda?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She's with Pietro in the attic, taking care of him. I think he has a slight fever. Jules is helping too.” Natasha sighed and sat down next to her best friend.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked down, feeling quite guilty. Pietro risked her life for her and now he was fighting to stay alive. With all her heart, she hoped Wanda didn't hate her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Nat said with a lump in her throat, her green eyes brimming with tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just nodded slowly and sighed deeply, she must be strong. For all the girls who were left.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't bury them, the ground is frozen and the snow...” Y/N whispered, she couldn't go on.

ㅤㅤㅤ Natasha nodded, surprised.  “We have to burn them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

With Jenn and Yelena’s help, they took Carol and Sharon's body to the pyre they had made with some logs and branches. While the sun was hiding on the horizon, the fire began to lick the branches and the bodies of those girls hungrily.

The rattling of the fire was all that could be heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With sadness and a few tears, they watched from the window as the fire burned the bodies of those who were once their friends. ㅤㅤㅤ

But after a while, as a horrible dark monster deep inside them woke up, the smell reached them and tortured them. A monster awakening in the need for survival, awakening thousands of thoughts and feelings that made them conflict.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N swallowed as fire lit their eyes. All of them, sharing the same moral battle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” For the first time, Natasha sounded completely fragile. Y/N turned to see her, noticing the sadness and disappointment in her green eyes. Self control.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Her full lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so hungry... it's hurting me.” Natasha wept, so ashamed of herself, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “I don't want to do this, but I feel like something is in me... something so bad… so hungry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered Wanda's words, completely heartbroken. “I'm scared. I don’t wanna die here. I wanna live.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And those words marked her like hot steel on her skin.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We need to survive.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The hours went by and Wanda didn’t abandon her brother.

The cold and the heat, the tremors in Pietro's body. The tears that she was tired of shedding. Jules decided to go down for a moment to discuss the situation with the girls, Pietro seemed to be fighting a high fever and cough.

ㅤㅤㅤ If he didn't make a recovery, he could progress to complicated pneumonia and that wasn't a good prognosis.

ㅤㅤㅤ The sokovian sighed, watching how Pietro managed to calm down for a moment, grateful that someone was going up to the attic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She turned quickly when she heard the voice of Y/N, who sat next to her. In her hands, Y/N brought a steaming bowl which made Wanda's hopes revive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, babe.” Y/N smiled slightly, with a certain sorrow.  “I brought something for both of you. My favorite sokovian team.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just looked at her with teary eyes and nodded, glad to see her there. “Thank you, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette kissed her cheek carefully and took the bowl to bring it closer to her brother, so she could feed him.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What is it?” Wanda frowned, curious.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It will keep him alive.” Y/N replied without elaborating, hoping she would understand that the idea was to survive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda looked at her for a moment, not knowing what to say. Words were unnecessary at that moment. She just took the bowl and nodded, moving closer to Pietro who was burning with fever.

If they wanted to survive, they had to try.

ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤNOW

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N returned to the living room, noticing that Nat and Wanda kept chatting pleasantly. She smiled, thinking about how beautiful the brunette looked today And when their eyes met, this time in a very different way, Wanda smiled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So…” Jules walked past her, snapping her out of her daydreaming.  “You both suggested we meet, and I must say that a delicious spaghetti is cooking in the kitchen so…” Jules sat next to her wife. “We have a while to chat.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, I’m surprised these two are not killing each other.” Nat arched an eyebrow. Wanda and Y/N looked at each other for a moment and said nothing, sitting down on the sofa. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yep, well… ” Wanda started, sitting next to Y/N. “We have something to tell you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“WANDA has something to tell you.” Y/N quickly corrected it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Coward.” The sokovian whispered, shaking her head. She took a deep breath to take courage and finally express that great secret.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We found out the person who is blackmailing us.” She pursed her lips, Y/N just nodded watching her friends widen their eyes in surprise.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That's great, let's go find this asshole right now.” Natasha got up from the sofa, ready to go but then she stopped when she saw how her friends shook their heads.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… We already found him.” Y/N narrowed her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What do you mean?” Jules frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The blackmailer was Vision.” Wanda finally let go, and closed her eyes when her friends yelled 'WHAT' at the same time, again.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda took the time to explain everything that happened with Vision, and why he did it. Of course, that didn't seem to matter much to Natasha, who seemed completely furious.

Especially after knowing that he was to blame for beating her pregnant wife.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Then everything is fine, besides that he will return the money to Y/N…” Jules placed a hand on her chest, feeling her soul return. “What happened is still safe with us.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Does Vision know what we did?” Natasha frowned as she leaned over to pick up a can of soda. Ever since Y/N came back, no one drank alcohol around her. Not because she wanted to, but to respect her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“He knows nothing, nor will he say anything. I swear.” Wanda sighed. Y/N placed a hand on Wanda's back, as a sign of support. But that made their friends look at them curiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What we did…”  Jules began somewhat thoughtfully. “It's not easy, for none of it was.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Leaving that weight behind takes a lot of pain and time and we have all paid for it.” Y/N nodded. “We tried to survive, and the others as well.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They lost their minds, and how not to? We spent a year and a half in the forest.” Natasha said with some regret, looking down. There were no days where she didn’t remember her friends, her team. “And we did it too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Was there really something there? Playing with us?” Y/N hesitated to ask but did, she needed to know.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We will never know, but that horror must be left behind.” Nat sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm really sorry for everything that happened to us. Every night I pray to whoever, that they are okay. None of them deserved that.” Wanda said and they all remained silent for a moment, remembering her brother. ㅤㅤㅤ

After a moment of silence, listening to some soft music, Jules cleared her throat.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Changing the topic…” The black-haired girl bit her lower lip and looked at Natasha, who smiled tenderly.  “We want to tell you something.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She looked at Nat who squeezed her hand and nodded, giving the okay to finally let go. One of the most important moments of their lives.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We’re pregnant.” Jules let out an excited squeal. “We are going to be moms!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda and Y/N opened their eyes wide, as big as their smiles. Finally some joy came into their lives, after so much pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“OH MY GOD!” Wanda squealed. “That’s amazing!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Dude, we’re having a baby!” Y/N screamed too; they both tried to fake surprise. But Natasha was a really good detective, and Jules was too empathetic.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you told her already, don't you?” Nat narrowed her eyes and threw a cushion at Y/N. “You dumbass!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You had to open your big mouth!” Jules did the same, attacking Y/N with pillows, laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“SORRY, I WAS SO  HAPPY. I COULDN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!” Y/N exclaimed between laughs, trying to cover herself with the pillows.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, detka, I don't know how to lie.” Wanda scrunched her nose and laughed. “I couldn't help it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You're very lucky I love you.” Y/N winked at her, playfully. But her friends soon noticed, they stopped short, still holding the cushions in their hands.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Wait, you… you two are-?” Jules narrowed her eyes and smiled happily, pointing at them. “You bitches. You finally did it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, really? they don't stop ogling each other, have you noticed it NOW?” Nat continued with the joke and they all laughed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

After a delicious dinner, some smiles and knowing glances, Y/N was with her sister in the kitchen, washing the dishes while Wanda and Natasha chatted in the living room about being a mom.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules passed one of the dishes and Y/N dried them. Although Nat offered to buy her a washing machine so many times, Jules always said that washing the dishes relaxed her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so glad you're okay, you both trying to do this right.” Jules smirked, glancing sideways at Y/N. “You look much happier and healthier, I am very happy to see you like this. You deserve it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded. “I feel... so much better than before.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She stopped for a moment, thinking well about the words she would use.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep, I stop feeling that deep dark hole inside of me. I'm beginning-... I'm beginning to think that maybe something good could happen to me.” Y/N's voice showed how hopeful she felt. Jules turned quickly to see her, her eyes showed how moved and proud she was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so proud of you, Y/N. Mom would be too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You think so?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I do.” Jules nodded and looked down to turn off the faucet and hand her the last plate.  “You deserve to be happy, so does she, you have no idea what Wanda was like before you came. I don't know what you two have been doing all this time, but I have to tell you, she looks... happy. Glowing.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled and nodded, wiping down the plate. “You know, I was thinking about what you said today? About what we did.”  she swallowed. “I let all of that get to me, and what we went through later with Mama Claire... I left you alone and I'm so sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can't fix much of what we did, but we can do better. Every time we can.” Slowly, Jules reached out to hug and rest her head on Y/N’s shoulder. After a moment, she dared to speak, somewhat embarrassed. “I'm so afraid.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Afraid of what?” Y/N looked down, noticing Jules's blank look.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sometimes I feel like this little baby deserves so much better.” The woman bit her lower lip, releasing one of her deepest fears. “I’m so lucky to have Natasha by my side, but I'm so scared, you know? I feel like something…something won't let me forget what I did there. Fucking Ward.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She swallowed, feeling Y/N's hand caress her back affectionately.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't let fear or the past take away the most beautiful moments of your life. You’ll be an amazing mom.” Y/N said in a low voice, taking Jules's hand, smiling when she rested on her shoulder again. “Wonderful, kind, funny. You know math, that’s a lot, dude. Am I forgetting something else?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh stop it, you're just flattering me.” They both laughed and Jules patted her.  “But i’ve to say… you will be a great godparent.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Those words took Y/N by surprise, who turned to see her so surprised. “What?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Jules nodded, smiling. “You in?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely shocked and excited by the choice of her friends, she didn't know which emotion to show first. She felt happy, surprised, a little terrified of screwing it.  “Are you- are you sure?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So sure.” She giggled when Y/N hugged her so tight, like a huge bear. “With my whole life. We are cousins, but we grew up together as sisters. Except for Natasha, there's no one who knows me like you do… And I know that there will be no one in this world who will take better care of my little one.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You know Wanda would do better, she has experience with kids.” Y/N whispered, looking down for a moment while her friend poured three cups of coffee for them, one cup of tea for herself.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, you guys are together, aren’t you?” Jules winked at her.  “Then it’s the same. Also the other godparent will be Yelena. So this baby will go crazy!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They both shared a laugh, before returning to the room, Jules took her arm.  “I love you, Y/N.” She caressed her cheek with unique softness, her brown eyes brimming with tears. “My sweet brave Y/N. I am proud to be your sister.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Completely moved by her words, Y/N smiled.  “I love you so much, Jules.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

And the months passed quickly, especially when you're happy. ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha and Jules were able to enjoy every month of the pregnancy. Of course, the redhead became very protective of her wife, and their little bumblebee. Although they could have figured it out long ago, they decided not to find out if it was a boy or a girl until birth.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N always showed how proud she felt to be the godparent, although it always unleashed adorable fights with Yelena to see who was better auntie or with which of the two the baby kicked the most.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Beating all the odds, Y/N stayed sober all those seven months.  By attending a NA group and a new therapist, the dark haired woman was able to leave behind much of what was hurting her to start anew.

And Wanda was a big part of the new hope inside her. The relationship with Wanda improved a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Since they had spent the first night together, the dates became more frequent. Of course, the sokovian seemed to want to go slow, it was the best for both, but at the same time they both wanted so much more.

Y/N also worked hard to make her feel safe, patiently winning her heart.

The twins fully understood that their parents were divorcing because they were no longer happy together. That Vision was in love with Virginia and that Wanda was in love with Y/N. ㅤㅤㅤ

The first time they met, Y/N was terrified. She hesitated many times whether to knock on the door or run away but finally, she decided to face all her fears for Wanda. Because she deserved it, they both deserved a chance. Incredibly, she made the best decision of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“So, do you like it?” Y/N asked as she cut up some mini sandwiches and brought them to the coffee table in front of the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We love it!” Billy exclaimed with that console in his hands. Tommy nodded, taking a mini sandwich.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“When I was a kid, I loved playing this one. My family didn't have a lot of money so I sold some candy and delivered newspapers so I could buy it.” Y/N smiled to see how Billy was looking at the console with curiosity and an adorable smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ

For a while now the boy hadn't stopped telling her how happy he was catching pokemons in the 'Fire Red Pokemon'. ㅤㅤㅤ

“They are not the same one, of course. I lost mine a long time ago on a trip with your mom and your aunties.” She swallowed hard and smiled sadly. “But I got these for you. It’s not the new Switch one, that… one is so much better, but… I thought you might like this one too. I like it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling a bit shy, Y/N always had a soft spot for old-school stuff. As if part of her didn't want to give up the innocence and past she lost in the woods.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N!” The twins said at the same time and hugged her waist, making her laugh a bit. Y/N ruffled their hair when they parted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m glad you liked it, boys. I was afraid it would bore you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“This is amazing! We like spending time with you, Y/N.” Tommy smiled and ran back to the sofa.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re so funny… and you make mom happy.” Billy was encouraged to say with a toothy smile and then followed his brother.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not that boring, huh. Take that, anxiety.” Y/N sat on the other couch, taking control of the TV. Outside, the sky was beginning to darken from the coming storm.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They were together for another half hour until the door opened, Wanda came into the house somewhat in a hurry and soaked by the rain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't want to be late, it's just that in the end I couldn't find a place to park, it was chaos!” Wanda exclaimed as she took off her soaked coat in the doorway. She couldn't help but smile when she saw them like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N came over to give her a little peck and help her with her bag and coat.  “So? How was it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The twins left the console and sat on the sofa, as expectant as Y/N to hear the news.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh… well…” The brunette scrunched her nose. She inhaled deeply, then released it.  “They gave it to me! I've got the job!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The three approached and began to jump and cheer with the sokovian.

As soon as the little ones hugged their mother -and then walked away saying 'ew' because her clothes were still wet-

ㅤㅤㅤ

“The good thing is that I can do it from home.” Wanda explained to Y/N speaking fast, all excited.  “All I need is my laptop.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That’s amazing, babe! Oh, I’m so happy for you.”  Y/N bit her lower lip. Finally everything started to go well, right?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Me too.” Wanda smiled happily. “I can finally do something for myself. Isn't it amazing?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is, my love.” Y/N walked over to wrap her arms around her. “You deserve it more than anyone. I’m so proud!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

 “I love you so much, detka.” Wanda's green eyes sparkled with happiness.  

ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N just smiled tenderly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you too, luv.” They both looked at each other for a moment before leaning their foreheads together, losing themselves in each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, I’m gonna take a bath but first… I think today we can celebrate by ordering pizza and ice cream. What do you think about it? And maybe I’ll even let you guys try to beat me at Monopoly.” Wanda said, looking at the three of them.

ㅤㅤㅤ

The adorable twins squealed with excitement and jumped on the sofa happily. And although Wanda tried to stop them, she ended up laughing.

Y/N just smiled happily from where she was, feeling that maybe she finally had a place in the world. A comfortable and pleasant place.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Hours later, after a delicious pizza and a night of laughter, Y/N and Wanda slept peacefully for a few hours until a screeching sound interrupted them. Outside, the storm was fiercer than ever.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's so late... who is it?” Y/N murmured sleepily, trying to go back to sleep entwined with the body of her beloved. It was 2 AM. ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda just snuggled against the covers, opening one of her eyes to see how Y/N's phone began to vibrate and ring again insistently. “I don't know, it's your phone, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry.” Y/N muttered before yawning, sitting up on the bed to take the call. The screen said that her number was unknown, which made her frown. “Hello?... Yeah, it’s me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sat up in bed and ran a hand over her face, trying to wake up. She tried to understand what the person was saying, but nothing seemed to make sense.

Her eyes showed confusion and fear, her lips trembled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? Wh- What do you mean?” Y/N said shocked, surprised, terrified. Hearing her voice like that, Wanda also got up feeling her heart jump. “No… No, that’s-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka, what is it?” Wanda put a hand on her shoulder and tried to understand, Y/N seemed lost in shock.

ㅤㅤㅤ

With her teary eyes, Y/N begged: “That's not true.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“N-no… You must be wrong.” She started to cry, getting up to put on her clothes and dropping the phone on the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hesitated whether to hug her or take the phone, but she needed to know what the hell was going on.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hello? Yes, I’m-”  The brunette finally managed to understand, opening her green eyes wide, listening to the person on the other end of the call. “Oh… Yes, we will-”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N walked away looking for her jacket but she couldn't help but walk down the hall and cry in silence. But the voices became distant, more and more. All Y/N could hear was the annoying beep. Like white noise. Everything about her was shattered. Everything inside her was starting to break down.

🐝🐝🐝 Only one chapter left.

This is the hardest chapter to write. The finale is all about present day. Although it is not direct, it is an allusion. I didn't know whether to make them make that decision or not, but the truth is that survival is harsh. I don't think I can made it as harsh and as selfish as in Yellowjackets.

Those women were selfish (and human, that's perfect. That's the point of the tv show, this moral battle), but our girls are not like that. They're good friends.

I'm babbling too much, I'm sorry if this is not okay for you. Maybe you'd better skip this past, and just finish the story with the next one. It's all about present. Have a good sunday, sweets. 🐝

ㅤㅤ

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld

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[frikatilhi]

sorry to be the bringer of angst/negativity(?) in this here askbox, dont answer if u dont feel like it, but i just wanna let out some strange sadness i feel lately

but am i the only pessimist bojere bitch here? like the reason i ship them hard is because i think what they portray is so beautiful and cute? And that irl them are most likely aight friends at best and a lot of stuff are just exaggerated for the publicity? like i can believe maybe jere really is into the friendship at best but that's abt it?

idk, i've just been disillusioned by a lotta friendship/rpf that are milked to high heaven, only to end up being "for the shippers" and that they dont like each other at all?

all i ask is copium/pep talk that will make me believe somehow that the deep friendship they portray in public/socials mirror what they actually have.

soz for being cringe

:((

Oh no, anon, I understand! This kind of thinking can easily make you feel like you're all alone, because we are supposed to stay positive and firmly in delulu land and ignore the stuff that doesn't fit the narrative.

This got long so snip snip

But for what it's worth, leaving all the shipping stuff aside, I do happen to believe the friendship is very real and just as deep as they portray. If anything, I think Bojan seems to be downplaying it instead of hyping it, keeping it more private instead of posturing on social media. When they talk about each other, they seem very genuine.

I could have bought the argument about exaggarating it for publicity during ESC, I mean, the contestants and especially JO were all out there making friends and creating content and buzz about it, feeding off each other's popularity. I remember thinking that myself - oh, that's cute, what a nice bromance, but I am SO over that kind of narrative, straight friends being huggy for clicks, I want the real thing, I want the happy ending, not settling or falling for anyone's media strategy any more. And it kinda worked, didn't it? 7 points from the Finnish public!

Looking back, a lot of the cute insta stories were staged and purposefully filmed so I can see what you mean. (Also looking back, there are also many moments that were NOT like that, my favourites being the dinner date and everything that happened after the final.)

But then, Tavastia 1.0 happened, and that's when it all shifted for me. You mean Bojan dropped everything and flew to Finland, just to see Jere, just to hang out without an actual agenda (yes, he dropped in on the gig but that wasn't the purpose of the visit)?? And they went to karaoke and watched Twilight and Bojan hung out with Jere's friends when he had a gig out of town?? And it was a month after they had seen each other that they decided to actually keep that promise to visit each other and not let their friendship drop and their connection fade? You mean that actually happened??

And after that we've learned that they talk to each other regularly (like, once a week?) and share values and likes and love together. Bojan has been more quiet about it, sure, but (and now we enter into speculation land) he did seem to be a bit spooked about all the attention, I mean, who wouldn't freak out a little when people start obsessing over your new friendship and following your every move and social media click and write stories about you?

And Nordic Tour was... did you see that? Everything that happened (that we saw)? If it was only for publicity (publicity for what?? At this point, why do they still need it?) it was way too much and most of it totally unnecessary. Those were two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Yes, they live far apart and rarely have time to see each other, but that doesn't mean their connection isn't real and deep and important.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Sleepy Swap

I absolutely hate family vacations. Don't get me wrong, the vacation part is pretty nice. The fact that I'm with my family is the problem. Each year we go to some new crazy location, which would've been fun if they didn't embarrass me every single moment. Normally it's some dumb place within the states, but this time we're going out of the country. I turned 18 a few months ago and just graduated high school, so my parents thought it was a special occasion. Oh, it's going to be special all right - it's the last time I'll be forced to go with them! As soon as the summer's over, I'm moving across the state for college, and hopefully I'll never see them again! But for now, my parents set their sights on Brazil. I guess that's where they went on their first trip together. But I'd rather go to much cooler countries like France or Japan.

So, arriving in Brazil, we moved through the airport - me, my dad, mom, and little sister. There were so many hot guys and good looking people in general walking through the halls. I wanted to flirt with them so badly! But my parents would probably call the police if I went out of their sight for a single minute. We took a taxi and arrived at our hotel room. I found out that there were only 2 bedrooms - one for my parents and one for my little sister and I. I can't even jerk off in the privacy of my own bedroom anymore! I unpacked my stuff anyway, just as my mom walked into the room.

"Are you hungry, kids?" I hate being called a kid. I'm 18! Nobody seems to understand that I'm a legal adult now!

"Yeah," we both replied.

"How about we visit some of the local places to see some culture?"

"Lame," I said.

"Jackson, YOU are going to go with us and YOU are going to like it!" My mom ordered.

"Fine."

Outside the hotel, my dad arrived with our rental car. We drove through the streets but ended up parking in what looked like the poor part of town. I thought we were going to a nice restaurant?

"What the hell are we doing here?"

"Language, Jackson! This is what I was talking about! What better way to see the local culture than to visit the local marketplace?"

We got out and I looked around. The roads and buildings were all run down and there was a gross scent in the air. The marketplace was thriving anyway, but the people there were all ugly. No hot guys! We bought some kind of pastry, eating it at a nearby table. It tasted awful! When we finished, we all split up to explore the rest of the marketplace; I didn't even bother to look at anything else because I knew I wouldn't find anything good.

I walked down the road and saw an open garage-like area with some people inside. Outside sleeping in a chair, was an obese guy with a belly so big, it hung right out of his blue tank top, and covered his knees entirely! His belly button was so big, you could probably fit an entire fist in there! He was probably the grossest human being I've ever seen in my life! It was guys like that that made me feel at least somewhat grateful that I'm so young and skinny.

I walked right past and suddenly he grabbed my arm. His eyes stayed closed though, so I guess it was some form of sleepwalking. I was disgusted anyway, so I jumped backwards and shouted at him.

"Get away from me you disgusting slob!" 

He stayed asleep even after that. But I definitely needed to wash my arm now. Who knows what kind of diseases he was carrying? I started walking towards a restroom, when I felt like I was being watched. I looked to my right to see a creepy old lady staring at me from between two buildings. She was so hideous, she looked like a witch! I ran inside and quickly washed my hands. I walked out of the bathroom, only to come face to face with the witch lady.

"Ahh! Who are you?"

"You don't like your family do you?" Is she trying to relate to me or something? Gross! I answered her anyway.

"Yeah. So?"

"Would you do anything to get away from them?"

"Yeah I guess. What are you getting at?"

"Nothing. Nothing you need to worry about." Anger rushed to my brain and out my mouth.

"Nothing? You can't just ask about my problems then offer to do nothing! Get out of my face you old hag!" Her smile changed to an angry frown but then back to a smile.

"Very well, you want me to do something? I will do something." She took a piece or chalk and started drawing a circle around my feet.

"What? Are you using your witchy magic or something?" I said, sarcastically. She ignored me and continued. With a full circle of purple chalk around me, she put her hands together and started mumbling something. The circle below me was glowing! Not just that, but I was actually sinking into the ground! Is this some kind of portal? If I could teleport to my college campus that would be great! Even better, a gay bar or somewhere I can freely be myself!

I sunk lower and lower until it was just my head and neck sticking out.  I looked up at her and said "Thank you." For some reason, instead of a friendly smile, it seemed like an evil smirk. As my eyes were about to fully submerge into the ground, I closed them.

When I opened them back up, I was sitting down inside, but was disappointed that the same bad smell was in the air. Looks like she teleported me, but it wasn't very far. I knew that witch was full of shit. I guess I should find my family again; it had been an hour and they were probably worried. I tried to get up but something was wrong. I looked down to see what was keeping me grounded when my heart started thumping extremely fast. Gone was my slim body, which was replaced with an overly large hanging gut. What the fuck happened to me? Is it touching my knees? Wait, I recognize that gut! It can't be! I've turned into that one gross slob! Was this that witch's way of getting revenge?

I didn’t want to, but I felt compelled to touch the gut. Unlike before, he was completely shirtless so the massive hanging blubber was visible for everyone to see. I looked at my huge sausage fingers, and poked it. It jiggled. I took my whole hand and pressed into the flab over and over. My whole belly rippled like a body of water. It was actually kinda fun and felt nice. No, what am I doing? I gotta get my body back.

Trying to get up was the hardest part. I had to summon all my strength in order to force the weight of the gut off of me, and plant my feet on the ground as hard as I possibly could. When I got my ass out of the chair, gravity took hold of my gut and I nearly fell over. Slowly, I got myself back onto my feet.

I couldn't even see the bottom of my gut but I could feel it touching my knees! I grabbed the bottom of it and shook. I stuck my hands between the overhang and my waist, and felt a river of sweat hiding underneath. I swear if I ever get back to my body, I'll never insult any fat guy ever again!

I tried walking back to the same bathroom I was just at, but it was more like a waddle. The gut was swinging back and forth, slapping my knees every time, pain with each slap. My back was killing me too. My entire body ached! How did this guy let himself go this far? I squeezed through the door and saw my face for the first time in the mirror. I had gray hair and silver stubble. I was an old man! My whole face was huge and I had a double chin. This can't be happening. I'm only 18!

I walked out of the bathroom just as my family strolled by. Finally! For once I was happy to see them! It'll be weird but I'm sure they can help me get back to normal somehow. I waddled over, approaching them, and freaked out when I saw…me! There was a college aged guy who looked exactly like me alongside them. Is he the owner of the body I'm in? He must be!

"Hey it's you! You have my body!" Everyone turned around, surprised to see me. My parents narrowed their eyes.

"What? What's this about bodies? Who are you?" My dad demanded.

"Mom, Dad, its me, Jackson! There was a witch that swapped our bodies! That guy isn't me!"

"What? Who do you think you are, talking to my son that way? Get out of here creep!" The guy in my body pretended to be just as confused as they were. That liar! Instead of taking any action, they just walked away, shaking me off as just some homeless creep. They probably assumed I wouldn't be able to catch up to them…and they were right. I felt exhausted already, but managed to shout one last sentence at them.

"Wait c-come back! I'm sorry! I'll never complain about vacations again!" The guy who stole my body turned his head around and gave an evil smirk at me. I looked to my right to see the witch again.

"You wanted to be away from them and your wish was granted. Here, you might want this." She tossed me what looked like a shirt, but it was huge. "Paolo gets especially lazy sometimes and doesn't feel like putting on a shirt. You'll get used to it, but here's one just in case."

I wanted to argue but I couldn’t. I just…gave up. I was feeling tired so I slipped the shirt on, pulling it as far over my belly as I could, and waddled over back to the garage area. My knees were killing me at this point so I stood next to the chair I was sitting on earlier, rotated myself, and firmly plopped onto it. All the pain went away and I started feeling drowsy. I rolled up the shirt a little and stuck my finger inside my belly button, playing with it. Am I getting hard? I shouldn't be so turned on but I am! I then pressed my belly in, seeing and feeling the ripples until I finally fell asleep. Haha…Maybe this won't be so bad afterall. I'm finally away from my family, and I can just sleep the day away…everyday…

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

first time whit ajax?? boy is so underrated 😩

This one got a little out of hand - again - and ended up being 1k... Please enjoy, this is my first Ajax fic!

Also, tomorrow is my birthday and there is a snowstorm coming (again...) so I’ll try to post more!! 

my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time

—

Ajax felt like a shame to his kind, an embarrassment. After years of being a gorgon, he stoned himself while taking a shower. Thankfully, turning into stone was not permanent, but it did cause him to miss your date.

He profusely apologized the next day and promised to make it up to you, but unfortunately your plans could not be reported to another day. At least not for a while.

‘’I had the dorm to myself. I was thinking we could’ve…you know,’’ you explained without giving too much details, but just enough for Ajax to get the gist of what you meant.

Ajax's eye lit up like a Christmas tree and his mouth twitched into a smile. ‘’Are you serious?’’ He lowered his voice, ‘’You wanted to..?’’

You nodded, then stole a kiss from Ajax, making his smile broaden. ‘’We’ve been dating for a bit and we’ve made out a lot.’’

The gorgon laughed, getting flashes of your makeout sessions. They had gotten over PG-13 these past weeks — hands under shirts and a little bit of dry humping — and, while it was pleasurable, you got to a point where it wasn’t enough.

‘’But I want more. I need more.’’ You grabbed Ajax’s thigh firmly and he held his breath, your hand dangerously high. ‘’But the opportunity is missed because Enid and Wednesday had a fight and now she is moving in with me and Yoko,’’ you explained with a sigh.

You loved Enid, she was the sweetest soul, but having two roommates will make it twice more difficult to have alone time with Ajax. And with the exams coming next month, all of your free time will be spent studying. Last night really was your only chance.

Ajax already felt bad about yesterday, but now his guilt had tripled. Those snakes really were a nuisance in his love-life. ‘’We’ll find a way,’’ he promised, then kissed you sweetly.

On Friday, you got a text from Ajax asking for help with the botany homework Ms. Thornhill gave for the weekend. You found it strange and unusual that he was doing homework on a Friday — he was the type of person who waits until the last minute —, but you didn’t ask questions. Perhaps your studious side was starting to rub off on him.

To match the strange and unusual energy of Ajax's texts, his dorm was dimly lit with twinkle lights. They weren't there the last time you came over. The curtains were also shut and the bed was made, which got you even more confused.

Ajax didn't see your expression before the words began spilling from his mouth. ‘’I wanted to light candles, but with the luck I have when I get nervous…it's best not. I don’t want to get in trouble for starting a fire. So I went with twinkling lights. Is it okay? If you hate them I can—’’

Your heart swelled. ‘’You did this for me?’’

He shifted on his feet and nodded. ‘’I felt bad for ruining your plans when I stoned myself so I decided to surprise you,’’ Ajax explained, hoping this will make up for the night he ruined. ‘’I bribed my roommate with money so he would leave the dorm for a few hours. We have the dorm to ourselves until 9pm.’’

‘’We do?’’ you asked, looking up at Ajax with absolutely no thoughts related to botany.

‘’We don't have to do anything if you don’t want to—’’

You grabbed his face and crashed your lips on his. ‘’Stop talking. I’ve never wanted anything more.’’

Ajax smiled before joining your lips again, lacing your fingers into his hair whilst yours grabbed at his hoodie and pulled him closer to you. You’ve been wanting to do this all week. A soft groan erupted from his lips, feeling your body against his.

The kiss deepened and Ajax’s hands descended down. This was nothing new, you’ve felt each other before. When he got to the bottom of your sweater, you stopped him abruptly.

‘’Wait! My bra doesn’t match my underwear…’’

The genuine worry in your eyes made your boyfriend want to laugh. Your bra and underwear not matching was the least of Ajax’s cares. Everything will be on the floor anyway.

‘’We're about to get fully naked and you worry about your bra and underwear not matching?’’ Ajax shook his head and pulled your sweater off regardless, giving no fuck if your panties didn’t match the blue of your bra. ‘’Are your panties pink? Or yellow? Or do they have little strawberries on them—’’

You held back a giggle and shut him up with a kiss. Maybe it wasn’t that important.

You followed Ajax to his bed, sitting beside him as you kissed and peeled layers of clothes until all that was left was your underwear. His warm skin felt nice against yours, your hands exploring bodies and pulling soft moans and sighs from each other.

With difficulty, he managed to unhook your bra and your cheeks were getting pink under Ajax's gaze, staring at your breasts and hard nipples with a boyish amazement. He had seen you topless before, but his reaction was the same.

‘’Fuck, you’re beautiful,’’ he said before pressing his lips to yours.

You're beautiful too, you wanted to say, but Ajax started to lay you back down until your back hit his soft mattress, turning your brain into putty the moment his body was over yours. He dragged his mouth down to your jaw and neck, trying to show love to every inch of your body.

Your hands moved to his back, creating shapes with the indent of your nails into his shoulder blades as he sucked at your skin. Soft hums left your lips — he was so good at this.

The shape of his hardening cock was starting to get very noticeable and pressing against you. It was usually ignored, but tonight you pushed your pubis against him and Ajax moaned, pleasure coursing through both of your bodies. You did it again, then reached to pull his boxers down, but before you could do it Ajax looked at you.

‘’Are you sure you want this?’’ he asked, his gaze soft and endearing.

You nodded. You had never been more sure. ‘’I want you, Ajax.’’

—

Wednesday taglist: @sofiaadler @partyfly @hoodforcalum @thelilacmourning @ellessecretobsession @su-alteza-emia @achoo---uu @not-leaprvt @xaviersgf @peterparkerdilf @roadworkaheadisurehopeitdoes @dragon-chica @coldtacozinepanda @wrldofsage @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @capriaura @officialsaturn @babyfiva @maevaomizzolo @kelloggs-world @whosljt @ajpanda181 @belovedrey @emerycrt @elizabitchsshit @heaven-hiding @lilithlikestoread @est-liber @moonisu @dessxoxsworld @parker-nite @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n  @poppet05  @ell0ra-br3kk3r​  @rhaenyraswife  @teaganthemorningstar  @aphex2winn @moompie  @ifevilwhyhot  @oliviah-25 @spenglerslime @wetwilliam02 @yellowcupcakes​ @haileyismoo​  @theyslayallday @wrldofsage

[catwithyellowwings]

Brett Talbot x fem!Reader (Y/N Martin/Lydia's little sister)

Please be gentle. English is not my native language. I'm still learning it, so there's probably a bunch of mistakes 🙈

"You'll see, our team will kick your ass," Y/N said confidently, lifting her chin and pushing back her red braid. At the moment, she was so annoyed by the self-confidence of one of the Devenford players that she could barely restrain herself from making more harsh statements. She had a negative attitude towards the captain of today's rivals instantly when she saw how he publicly mocked Liam in front of the whole school. Dunbar is only new to their company, but Y/N already considered him, if not a friend, then a member of Scott's pack. So Liam is part of their strange and diverse family, and the girl was not going to give offense to her loved ones.

"Well, we'll see about that", Brett smirked at her, accepting the challenge thrown by a stranger. Now he had two incentives to win today: to take revenge on Dunbar for what he did to his former coach's car, and to win a bet from a beautiful girl who was so ready to defend the honor of her school. "So what happens if you lose?"

"We won't lose, I'm confident in our guys", looking clearly into the boy's eyes, Y/N said decisively. Then she turned her gaze to the warming–up players of the Beacon Hills school, among whom were her friends - Scott, Stiles and Liam. Dunbar, as if sensing that they were being watched, turned around, meeting the eyes of the younger Martin for a couple of seconds. He was quite confused that she was talking to his main enemy of the last few months, but he did not comment on this in any way.

"So maybe we can make a bet about something substantial? " Talbot never let up, assessing the girl from head to toe. Her cropped top with a leather jacket and tight jeans with a high waist perfectly emphasized the naturally slender figure of the younger Martin, so the guy's interested look flattered her. Mentally, Brett was already anticipating his victory.

"About what, for example?" Y/N asked, folding her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow slightly. She was also confident of her victory, especially realizing that there were now two werewolves in their team, so ordinary people simply had no chance against them. Unless, of course, Scott decides not to use his superpowers on the field again for the sake of fair play.

"Well, I don't know," the guy chuckled, thinking for a while. "Let's go on a date? If we win, and we'll win, you're going on a date with me".

"Then if you lose, and you'll lose", Martin deliberately mimicked him with a short grin, "you… apologize to Liam in front of the whole school, just as you mocked him today as soon as you arrived here."

"To Dunbar? Nah," Brett just laughed at this formulation, glancing over his shoulder at the former co-commander, who was now talking to one of the Beacon Hills players.

"What? Are you scared? Oh, what a pity," Y/N smiled, slightly pouting, already feeling her superiority. "Then there will be no deal".

"I didn't get scared," Talbot said, squaring his shoulders and grunting with displeasure. "Okay, you got it. If your team beats us today, I'll apologize to Dunbar, so be it. But don't think that our enmity with him will be over".

"The game will show which one of you is better," now it's time for her smug grin. With her hands on her hips, Martin involuntarily looked around at the guy. The green-and-white sports uniform with the number 28 on the chest and back, although partially hiding the guy's body, but it was obvious that he was very well-built. Tall, half a foot taller than Y/N herself, sly light green eyes, slightly curly brown hair and natural charisma only added to Brett's attractiveness. Ah, if it wasn't for his bullying of Liam, then Y/N as a whole wouldn't mind flirting a little with this handsome guy, but she had to keep her face. You can't show your weaknesses to the enemy, so putting on her self-confident mask, Martin turned on her heels and headed for the stands. Her sister Lydia, the sheriff, and Dunbar's best friend Mason were already there.

"Hey", suddenly she was stopped by a light unobtrusive touch on the elbow, forcing her to turn her head, "at least tell me your name, beautiful stranger. I'm Brett, by the way".

"Y/N," she admitted, pleased with the effect. "My name is Y/N".

[stardroptasteslikesocialism]

Say it Ain't So Part One

Gator has to face the music when his girlfriend turns his world upside down.

manchild!gator tillman x teacher!reader TW: Pregnancy, canon-appropriate violence, possible Fargo S5 spoilers.

Liberty Elementary School saw a lot more police presence after your first date with Deputy Tillman.

It was strange at first to the rest of the squad when Mr. Kick-Ass-Take-Names volunteered to cover school drop-off and pick-up times; a cupcake duty usually reserved for cops nearing retirement. And Gator wasn't exactly known for his concern for the wellbeing of children. But after seeing him make googly eyes over the new kindergarten teacher in charge of the car line, it made a lot more sense.

Things started to get serious between the two of you after a few months of back and forth during car line duty. He'd stop by your classroom during lunchtime, where you'd have an identical lunch packed for him. He'd rattle off stories about his morning that were most likely embellished to make himself sound cool. Still, you'd listen intently, trying not to get lost in those brown baby cow eyes of his. He'd feign interest in your morning with the "ankle-biters" as he dubbed them before heading back to his patrol.

You were keenly aware of the Tillmans' reputation. Sitting next to Gator in the front pew every Sunday Service led to many confused glances and jealous glares. Why on Earth would a teacher - arguably more educated than all of the Tillmans combined - seemingly settle for the high school has-been, nepotism man-child that was Gator Tillman?

But they didn't notice his look of adoration as you listened to every Sunday Service when the church's natural light hit the highlights of your face just right. They didn't see the Gator that made you laugh with his childish jokes and interests. They didn't hear the sweet nothings he muttered into your hair late at night, tangled in your sheets as you passed his vape between hits.

He made you feel beautiful; wanted, hell even needed.

The thought of possibly losing all of that terrified you. This was why the color drained from your face one particular afternoon when you heard a familiar knock on your classroom door.

"Mister Gator!" your students yelled in unison. They were enamored with the deputy.

"Mister Gator, is your gun real?"

"Have you ever killed anyone with it?"

"Can we see it?!"

The kids were relentless in their questioning of your boyfriend, who looked at you with panic in his eyes as the kids swarmed his legs. You rolled your eyes as he mouthed 'help me' before placing two fingers in your mouth and blowing your best Midwestern dad whistle.

"Hey! One, two, three. Eyes on me, kindergarten!" you shouted over the babble of 18 five-year-olds. You stifled a groan as all eyes fell on you, including Gator's, "Quit asking about Deputy Tillman's gun. It is for emergencies only and can only be used by him. Got it?"

The kids (and Gator) nodded.

"Good. Now, line up for lunch. You'll sit with Miss Julie's class today."

Gator heaved a sigh of relief as the kids lined up for lunch, chattering away. You felt his casted arm grace the small of your back.

"We need to talk," you whispered, ducking from his attempt to peck your cheek. You waited until the last kid was out the door before you locked it, leaving you and a confused Gator alone.

If a man could short-circuit, you'd probably witnessed it as you watched Gator freeze rigid, leaning against your Halloween-themed bulletin board.

An agonizing silence loomed over the classroom before Gator finally cleared his throat.

"H-how, uh, how long have you known?" he stammered, his fingers fidgeting with his vape. You could tell he was fighting every urge to give it a massive inhale in front of you.

You ran a hand through your hair and sighed, "I took like four tests this morning; all positive."

Gator mimicked your hand through his own hair, muttering fuck under his breath.

"Look, Gator I'm sorry," you shifted against the desk you were leaning on, "I definitely didn't plan on this, and I know this isn't exactly what you wanted, but-"

You kept rambling, but your voice was warped to Gator's ears like he was underwater; he was drowning. Drowning in the realization that he had fucked up; he royally fucked up again. Your tear-drenched pleading snapped him back to reality.

"Gator, please say something! I feel like I'm losing it, here."

Gator opened and shut his mouth multiple times before uttering a strangled "I - I don't know what I should say," God, his chest felt tight, "I don't know how to be a dad, Y/N. I'm already a colossal fuck-up in my dad's eyes. I don't want to fuck this up, too."

For the first time in his life, he was speechless; and it was happening at the worst possible time.

"Well, you're not off to the best start, asshole," you sniffled and wiped your nose on your bright cardigan's sleeve before glancing at your watch, "Kids'll be back in five minutes," you rubbed at your eyes, attempting to erase any evidence of your tears, "Look, my first appointment's on Monday. Come by if you want to. Or don't if that's what you want."

You turned your attention to the construction paper at your desk. As Gator turned toward the door, you called his name one more time.

You took a deep breath as he turned your way.

"There's no half-assing this; I can't have you half in and half out of this kid's life. It's all or nothing with me, Tillman. Don't come around unless you're ready for that."

Gator quietly nodded before entering the hallway and inhaling the largest gust of strawberry kiwi nicotine he could muster on the way to the patrol truck.

Gator spent the rest of his patrol mindlessly staring out the passenger window in an attempt to clear his head. But the longer he stared at the empty North Dakotan plains, the more his thoughts spiraled.

You were having his kid.

He was a boy in a man's skin; twenty-six, still in his childhood bedroom; still doing chores for his daddy. Before you blew into his life he was destined to live life under Roy Tillman's thumb, sniveling in the sheriff's shadow with nowhere to hide from the town's judgment.

You were having his kid.

And he dragged you into this, too.

Once Roy caught wind of his son knocking up a schoolteacher any semblance of freedom for you two would be gone. Roy would either use his connections and bribe you into agreeing to a back-alley abortion; or, he'd strong-arm you both into a shotgun wedding and life on the ranch forever under Tillman's watchful eye. No option sounded good.

Gator nodded at his partner, Alvie, as they neared a familiar gas station.

"Pull over here. I gotta take a piss."

Alvie obeyed, agreeing to fill up as Gator went inside. After taking a much-needed leak, he scoped the gas station for some much-needed snacks. After finding his goods he paused for a second before grabbing another pack for you. He wasn't sure if you'd even like them, but he figured the thought would count.

An eerie silence permeated the air as Gator climbed back into his passenger seat, tearing open his jerky packet with his teeth.

"Fuck, that's hot," he muttered as he struggled to open his Mountain Dew bottle with his casted arm. The heat rising in his lips made him regret his choice of snacks for you. He sat for a second in silence before glancing at his rearview mirror.

It was the image in the side view mirror that made him slide down in his seat in a panic before clambering out of the truck, service revolver in hand. Gator crept to the bed of the truck where Alvie lay dead on the pavement, a knife through his chest. Gator's pulse sped up and his breaths became ragged as he read the message attached to Alvie's bloody corpse.

You owe me. _______________________________

Thanks for reading! This is my first Tumblr fic and first Fargo fic, so any input is welcome. Stay tuned for part two!

[welldonebeca]

The Pump (I)

Summary: When you start producing milk too early into your pregnancy, you and Dean are introduced to a special piece of equipment. And a new kink. WC: 1.6k words Warnings: A/B/O dynamics. Vaginal fingering. Dirty talk. Smut. Degrading kink. Lactation kink. 

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Masterlist

You fidgeted with the hem of your gown, uncertain as you waited for your doctor to come in as Dean held your other hand.

You see, things were… weird.

Worrying weird, not funny weird.

You had been mated to Dean for a few years now.

It was a very cute story, if you could say so yourself. Dean had always pined for you since high school, but he was a player. He worked at his family’s farm and he always had a different girl at his hip.

Now, you may not be that bright, but you weren’t stupid. So, you denied his advances over and over again for years!

Until he got a ring on your finger, your teeth mark on his neck, and a contract that said he couldn’t take any other Omega without your written consent, punishable by divorce, chemical separation, and everything he owned and was supposed to inherit passing on to you.

Oh, the wonders of having a prenup lawyer,

Most Omegas you knew would be lucky if their Alphas didn't make them accept multiple Omegas for their pack, but your Dean was amazing, loyal to the end, and always said you were a special girl.

Not that you even understood what he meant with that.

You two had been trying for pups since the moment you mated, but now that you were finally pregnant, something strange was happening.

"Sweetheart, you gotta relax," he whispered to you.

You whined, scratching at your sore chest.

"But they feel so itchy!"

When you found out you were pregnant, you had very modest b-cup tits. But now, just under three months into it, you were now a d-cup.

And they felt like they were still growing!

Your nipples were swollen and your back ached the whole time. You had tried to power through but your Alpha was very worried and convinced you to see a doctor.

Who was finally here, thank goodness.

"I'm sorry for the delay," Doctor Gabriel apologised. "We had a bit of an issue back with the documents. Thank you for going ahead and undressing, Mrs Winchester."

Dean squeezed your hand and your doctor raised his head, eyes widening in surprise when he saw you.

“We just wanted to hurry this along,” your alpha explained to him. “She’s been in pain for almost a week now.”

“Well, I can see from the last time we saw each other there have been two massive changes,” your doctor tried to joke, maybe to lighten the mood.

You pouted.

“This is my fourth new bra and it’s already too tight!” you lamented. “I don’t know what’s happening! I don’t even have a bump yet!”

“Well, you know, your body will change to accommodate your baby” he explained, stepping toward you. “Early lactation is common.”

You pouted a little. It wasn’t supposed to hurt, though. Right?

“I’m going to do a physical exam, but we’ll need to remove your gown,” he prepared you. “Is that alright?”

You nodded, untying the front of the gown and facing forward, knowing to give him full access.

His gloved hands tested your breasts, first looking for any signs of lumps or anything, but even his gentle but firm professional grip was too much for your body.

You whimpered in pain and gasped as your tits started to leak.

Oh, no!

Your cheeks burned. Oh, how embarrassing.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised quickly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, you’re fine,” Gabriel reassured you, but your heart ached at the sight of so much lost milk dribbling down your chest.

You wished you could do anything with it. Babies in hospitals sometimes needed milk, you know?

“This has been happening since a few weeks ago,” Dean tried to explain. “We tried to store it with some pumps but… well…”

You had broken two pumps already. You had too much milk.

“Oh, yeah, that store-bought equipment will not help with this, I’m afraid,” doctor Gabriel pointed out.

He pulled his hands away and took off his wet gloves, a little frowny.

“You must understand, we don’t want you to stop producing milk. Your child is going to need it once it is born.”

Of course, you understood that. You were an omega your body was purpose was to feed your young! You just wish you could do it now…

“When you called me and explained the situation, I reached out to my brother, Michael," he told you two. "Now you may call this bias, but our family actually owns a business for your kind of situation.”

You stared at him, confused, as he reached into a briefcase and pulled out another pump set, but this one looked much more industrialized.

What did his brother have to do with your milk?

"You know, hyperactive milk production is more common than people believe. Omegas usually have a few pups before it happens, and it is a way for the body to feed their whole family," he explained. "But sometimes it happens to first-time pregnant Omegas in small packs when they are… especially active, sexually speaking, so my brother saw a business opportunity."

You're flushed, and he put the heavy pump in Dean's hand.

"These are made for her situation. They make the pumping process twice as fast, and have double the storage space," he told you. "May I test it on you, ma'am?"

Dean hesitated by your side before you could answer.

"I don't know, that doesn't look comfortable."

"They are," he assured you two.

You put a hand over Dean's, feeling your gown already soaked. You knew you wouldn't stop dripping until you were empty, now.

"Please, Alpha," you pleaded with him. "I don't want any more waste, and you know this won't stop."

Dean conceded, sighing.

"Go on, then."

Doctor Gabriel put the pump on your breast, showing you two how to adjust it, and you gasped when it clicked to place and started to work and collect your mill on its own, filling up the big bottles.

"Here, she these to clean her up," he gave your husband a box of tissues.

“So what should we do now? Just keep storing this milk until it expires?"

You whimpered at Dean’s harsh words but it was true. How would you deal with so much milk?

“Well, you’re free to choose to do whatever you wish," he told you. "We have a reliable system in breast milk donation. I’ve monitored you even before your pregnancy and can give your approval that your milk is safe for consumption. You can donate it, even sell it."

Dean’s eyes twinkled with the last part.

He worked hard on your farm, and would never turn down a profit. His father had more livestock, but you were more than well off now, and didn’t need it, so you could focus on just farming - plus, you hated the butchery of the poor animals.

You couldn’t tell if you were turned on or frightened by that side of your husband, but with the pump working on your tits, your cunt started to get wet, and the room stunk up quickly.

Before you could apologise, doctor Gabriel spoke.

“That’s perfectly normal, too,” he assured you. “I’ll just add the machine to your tab. Would you like to calm your Omega before leaving?”

You blinked at him, surprised, and Dean cleared his throat.

“If I could, please.”

He nodded.

“Just don’t make too much of a mess,” doctor Gabriel instructed you.

The moment the door closed, Dean looked at you hungrily.

“Lay on your back and spread your legs,” he commanded you. “Wide.”

You obeyed.

The machine was still working, a God, your cunt was leaking so, so much

“What’s got you all wet, huh?” he asked, his hand reaching down to spread your pussy. “Something you want to tell your Alpha? I thought you were a good Omega.”

You whined.

“Feels good,” you squirmed. “Dean…”

Your tits were so sensitive, you didn’t know this would feel so good.

“You like being milked?” he hummed, pushing two fingers into you. “No baby to feed, but you still want to be used.”

You moaned.

Yes. You wanted it, you needed that so much.

He moved his thumb to rub against your clit, and you trembled.

“Don’t worry, your alpha will take care of you,” he assured you. “Might even make a pretty penny too, little Omega.”

That made you cum. Loudly and embarrassingly, shaking and gushing both to his hand and the pump.

“Fuck,” Dean growled.

You came and came as he fucked you with his fingers and the pump worked on you, until your breasts were empty and you were a sloppy mess.

Your husband chuckled.

“Such a pretty pathetic Omega,” he taunted, reaching up to remove the pumps and you whined. “You’re all dry for now, princess. But don’t worry, knowing your tits, you’re gonna be full soon tonight.”

You squirmed, flushing. Other people could find it weird, but you loved, loved, loved when Dean spoke like that to you.

And he knew that very well.

Your husband helped you clean up, and slipped your dress around your body, but didn’t give you your bra or panties back.

“I don’t want you sitting in your mess, silly girl,” he said, putting them in the bag filled with extra milk bags doctor Gabriel had left for you.

You waited as he transferred the liquid to the bags, and put the pumps into their suitcase, picking up a card and showing it to you.

“Shurley Equipments,” he read it. “Well, look at that. I guess we are going to be calling them soon enough.”

You nodded, following him out and to your car.

This was going to be quite the change.

. . .

"The Pump" is the first part of "The Milk series". To read its sequels "The Pack" - a Sam x Reader x Dean x Jess foursome - "The Pack" - a Castiel x Reader x Dean - and "The Family" - a Jess x Reader & Sam x Reader - subscribe to my page! It's just $2 a month and helps me a lot through these hard times.

. . .

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[dakotalun]

Want | Eddie Munson

pairing: Eddie Munson X Fem Reader

summary: Eddie hangs out with someone and you confront him about it.

warnings: angst, yelling, self-doubt

word count: 1.9k

a/n: shit haven't posted in a little bit, but hey getting back into it with a little Eddie angst!

*******NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS*******

We both stormed into the trailer. It's been heated ever since this morning at the coffee shop. One of the workers thought I was cute and wrote his number on my cup. I thought it was a cute gesture but when Eddie saw it he flipped out.

"You can't just go around getting other guys' numbers!" He was furious about it as if I had asked for the number in the first place.

"I didn't ask him to find me attractive and prompt him to give me his number, I was texting YOU the entire time!" That went on for a good half hour before my alarm went off alerting me that I had an hour before work.

"I have work soon, and I still need to shower," I grab my towel off the back of a chair, "We're not talking about this anymore."

But sadly that was only the beginning of this day-long fight.

---

I get a call from Eddie right before my lunch break begins.

"Hey, babe."

"Hey, what's up?" I can't help the smile that forms on my lips upon hearing his voice.

"Just checking in. Making sure we're okay after this morning. We are okay, right?" I can hear the slight pain in his voice as if I'd say no to his question.

"Yes, we're okay. You wanna grab lunch together today? I heard of this new Chinese spot down the street and I thought it could be good."

"I'd love to but I have a Hellfire thing and then I've got, um," He stops short of his sentence.

"Got what? Eds, are you ok?"

"Hm oh yeah look I've gotta run, talk later. Bye love you." Then the line goes dead. Weird Eddie's never declined lunch with me, ever. Why was he in such a rush anyways?

I try to push the thoughts out of my mind and focus on work for the rest of the day. But a huge part of my mind wonders why Eddie is acting so strange. Was something bad going on between us? Did I do something wrong?

At 5:30 pm I'm walking home, tired and hungry. I decide to take a shortcut through the woods to get back to the trailer park, which Eddie had shown me a while ago. The walk wasn't that bad, there was a slightly clear path on the way. As I walk I hear voices in the distance.

The further I walk the louder they get. There are two of them, one a high-pitched one, who seems to be laughing a lot, and another one, deeper, quieter. I try my best to avoid any sticks or dry leaves so as to not disturb the two. Then I hear it. The loud boisterous laugh, one I could pick out from any crowd, Eddie's laugh.

What the hell was Eddie doing in the middle of the woods so late? And who the hell was he with? I crouch down a little and walk closer to the voices, trying to get a look at them. And there I see it. Eddie, my Eddie, sitting at an old wooden picnic table with the popular, golden girl, Chrissy Fucking Cunningham.

My heart races, my stomach churns, and my head spins. My body refuses to move, my eyes refuse to turn away. Eddie and Chrissy are sitting across from each other, faces close together, laughing and smiling like their old friends who haven't seen each other in months. As I look closer at the pair I notice Eddie's lunch tin, the one he uses for deals.

He'd told me he quit selling months ago. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him putting himself in danger like that, and he happily agreed. So why was he carrying it now, and why with Chrissy?

I run off into the woods, trying my best to remember the way Eddie'd shown me. I finally reach the trailer park and start the walk to me and Eddie's shared one, which is on the other side of the lot.

I'm barely a few feet away from our front door when I hear the loud metal music pouring from the van. I look over my shoulder and there's Eddie, looking as handsome as ever.

"Hi, sweetie! How was work?" He closes the driver's door and heads up to me, planting a small kiss on the top of my head. He sounds out of breath.

"It was fine. Long," I pull out my keys and walk up the steps to the door, "How was your day?" I'm hoping he'll explain why he was out with Chrissy.

"Eh lame. I can't wait to finally graduate, I am so done with high school!" He walks in behind me, shedding his jacket and throwing it on the couch before plopping down. I walk to the bedroom and grab some pajamas to wear after my shower.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?" I hear Eddie say before turning on the t.v.

"I don't know, pizza?" I walk back out to the small living room with a towel in hand, "Or maybe we can go to that good Italian place you love?"

"Whatever you want, I'm not really hungry," I want to ask about Chrissy but then he'd know I was out there earlier.

"You sure? I'm happy with anything, babe."

"Yeah, just get what you want. I'm gonna take a shower, wash this day off of me."

"Oh okay, see you in a bit," I hum a response before turning on my heels and going to the small bathroom. Once I'm inside I lock the door and turn on the shower. I shed my clothes, step inside and sink to the floor. Cries being drowned out by the rush of water.

After what feels like hours in the hot stream of water, I climb out and wrap myself in a towel. I open the door and quickly close my eyes at the blast of cold air that hits me. I smell the familiar scent of pepperoni and mushroom in the trailer. Walking out of the bathroom and into Eddie and I's joint room I grab a pair of pajamas to wear.

After getting dressed and drying my hair a bit I walk out to the living room to get some dinner. Eddie is sitting on the couch, eating a piece of pizza and watching some slasher movie on the tv.

"Hey," He turns to me, "Where did you go today?"

"Work," I sit down on the other end of the couch.

"Oh yeah, what were you doing all day?"

I sigh and take a bite of pizza, "Just some paperwork and filing. You know the usual." I swallow my bite and hesitate before asking my question, "What did you do today?"

Eddie's eyes stay glued on the screen, almost as if he's scared to look at me. "Just school,"

"Nothing else? You were out kinda late."

"Oh, I guess I saw an old friend afterward. But that was nothing."

Finally, we're getting somewhere, "Oh that's nice. Who were you with?" I lean forward a little bit, eager to hear an answer other than 'Chrissy'.

"Just someone I went to middle school with," Eddie says.

"Who?" I ask again, pressing a little harder.

"Her name is Chrissy. Why?"

"No reason, I just like to know who your friends are," I get up and throw my plate in the sink.

"I wouldn't call her a 'friend' more like an old acquaintance," He gets up and follows me into the kitchen, reaching for another slice of pizza.

"Is she pretty?" I ask, fiddling with my hands.

"Pretty?! Yeah, I guess," Eddie gives me a questioning look.

"She must be if you were with her all day," I walk over to the fridge and grab a beer, "That or you were selling to her. Which can't be the case since you promised me you wouldn't do that anymore."

Eddie stops mid-bite, his eyes growing wide at my words. He drops his plate down on the counter, "Wha- How do you know I was out with her today?"

"What do you mean? You just told me," A small smirk plays on my lips before I take a sip of my drink.

"Yeah I know but how the hell did you know I was with her all day? I never told you that!" His voice is louder now.

"I saw you together," His eyes grow huge, almost as if they could pop out at any moment, "At the picnic table in the woods. She was laughing and smiling, I think I even saw her put her hand on your arm at some point."

I turn around from the fridge and look him dead in the eye, "Did you fuck her?" I whisper, almost afraid to speak loudly enough for him to hear me.

Eddie's face goes white, "No! God no!"

"Then why did you have your lunchbox with you? I know that you only use it for deals," Tears start threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Jesus Christ because I had a deal earlier that day. And before you say anything, I know I said I would stop selling but they offered me like 600 for it and we really need the money babe," He looks at me with pain in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to meet her?" I finally can't hold back my tears any longer and they fall.

"Because I knew you'd worry and freak out if you found out! Just like you are now!"

My voice cracks, "How the hell am I supposed to believe you, Eddie? You're out with a pretty girl for god knows how long then come home late and just expect me to believe she's 'just an old friend'?!"

"Yes! Because I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you! You know that" Eddie takes a step toward me, but I step back.

I place my beer on the counter and wrap my arms around myself, "I want to believe you Eds I really do but," I struggle to find the words, "I don't trust you anymore, I can't. You lied to me and you kept secrets from me! What else are you hiding? What else have you done that I don't know about?"

Eddie grabs my shoulders and pulls me towards him, "Baby please listen to me," His voice is soft and delicate, "Do you know how much I fucking love you?"

The words hurt me when I think of them but I need to know the answer, "Yeah but, do you want me?"

Eddie drops his hands from my shoulders and pulls away. He looks at me, the tears that have stained my cheeks, and the way my lip quivers. It breaks him to know that his hanging out with Chrissy has hurt you this much. He can't come up with a good explanation or a way to make you feel better so he grabs his jacket and keys, opens the front door, and leaves.

I crumble to my knees, cries breaking out for the third time that day. My stomach tenses and my head becomes light, making me dizzy. I cry for god knows how long, holding myself on the kitchen floor of the small trailer. Knowing that I just ruined the only good thing that has ever come into my life.

Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis

[eu-nicola]

Ragnar Lothbrok x Reader

summary: you have been in love with Ragnar all your life, a situation led you to be with him and you thought that the feelings were mutual until you saw that they were not.

inspired by Lana del Rey's monologue

sorry for my english, is not my first language

posted on my ao3: abigaildaen

And I remember when I first thought about him, it was so clear that he was the one for me. I knew immediately.

And as the years passed the thoughts were still there. I had known him all my life, he had always been close to my family, he was like a son to my father, the son he never had. He was around every chance he got, he was a charismatic, electric, magnetic man and everyone knew it. When he entered a place, everyone stood up to talk to him, that's when he met Lagertha and fell in love, forgetting who I was.

When I was just turning 16 he for other side was already having a child with Lagertha, sometimes I forgot that he was a few years older. Over the years I learned to carry that weight and I let it go, he was still there for me when i still needed him but i was already a woman and i didn't need him anymore. When I turned 18 I began to accompany him on his trips because when i did I felt free, it was so beautiful to find new places and new faces.

We would go back and spend time with his family, over time I had learned to get along with Lagertha and even now little Bjorn his son was also like a son to me, the boy spent a lot of time with me, I was his favorite aunt, he liked to be teach him to fight and treat him like one more. When I had the opportunity I convinced his mother to let him travel with us, she at first resisted the idea but with a little persuasion she allowed him to go.

That trip was extremely strange for me, when we arrived at our destination I got very sick and nobody knew what had caused it they only knew that it could cause my death, Ragnar was with me from the first day helping me to recover, not even his son left me alone at any time and they had decided that we would not return home until I was fully recovered.

I was in bed for a month and a half without being able to do anything and with a high fever when I was finally able to get up Ragnar wouldn't let me do anything but I certainly wasn't the best at following orders and although I couldn't go out and train so i stayed at home in which we stayed doing the chores of the place trying not to feel so bad about myself, all the time that Ragnar and I had passed we had gotten even closer as we were years ago and it felt good to have him close again but at the same time there was a certain discomfort from which incould not escape.

He was so charming that for a moment he reminded me of the man I fell in love with when I was still a child and with whom I was also disappointed. One night in which I had run away from everyone I had decided to get away and lie down under a tree away from everything trying to feel the air through my body i was so at peace that I didn't even hear him arrive and when I opened my eyes he was there watching me, he didn't say anything, he just sat next to me and I rested my head on his shoulder, our breaths were connected and it was just perfect.

Then I felt his hand rest on my cheek, raising my face to see him, he approached me and kissed me, that was the first night we spent together, I felt loved and wanted. He was the first man and the man I would have fallen for a thousand times, from that night on he took me every night under the stars praising me like I was the only woman in the world until we had to go back. When we returned i was already carrying his son but i had not wanted to tell him for fear that he would leave me.

When we finally returned the fear became real and he erased all memory of me, leaving me as if I were nothing, someone strange who he had only wanted to hang out with while his wife was away, on one occasion I begged him to stay, what to try to remember what we had but he didn't listen to me, it hurt my soul like I never thought it would and he left me. And even though I tried to hate him, I understood that I couldn't and I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

And I still love him.

[charmac]

Okay so, I got high for the first time in awhile and I'm thinking about Sunny just, It's weird that I always do, near obsessively, have since October of 2022. It's just like, my favourite thing to love and to think about, but I have been watching for a lot longer than that. I'm just gonna delve on my pipeline from casual fan of this show to stan, cos I think it's interesting and I'm high so nothing is stopping me:

For over three years I've been watching this show on repeat, whenever I didn't have a scheduled show to watch, I'd pop it on. But I just watched it casually, normally, like haha funny bad people show kind of way (I am sorry). All I did was watch it over and over, sometimes see a funny viral Sunny Tweet and like it, and then the Podcast came out.

And it weirdly made me more into the show, more introspective about the characters. So I would interact on r/IASIP but they just, didn't really get it properly.

And then S15 aired and Reddit really didn't get it and Charlie Kelly was just this massive presence in my mind, and I wrote a silly little kidfic about him because I was just thinking and thinking. And Reddit didn't get it.

So I I tried to come onto Tumblr, but everyone shipped Macdennis and I. Did Not. like Dennis. I saw him how your average r/IASIP commenter sees him. (So sorry.) I thought shipping Macdennis was fun in a, like, asking Mac to get completely used and fucked over kinda way (again, so sorry). Imagine my shock walking into Sunnyblr with that idea. Tumblr liked Dennis.

So I just kinda did the Episodes on repeat/Podcast/Subreddit kinda vibe for awhile. And then I met Meg and talked to her, and I stood two feet away from Rob and I know it's cringey, lmfao, but something shifted further. I was talking obsessively to my bestie @macdennissurvivor and Twitter started showing me Dennis edits. And then I made a silly little Macdennis edit of my own.

Then I went to the live show in Philly. And the audience was miserable and oh my god none of them get it. But there's so much to get . And Glenn, wow, weird, interesting guy. (And he weirdly kinda clarified that Dennis wasn't straight.) The show was fine but the audience was miserable because none of them get it. They throw out lines and references and it's all a joke. But it's not all a joke, there's so much to get. They're not getting it. Please someone else get it.

And so I dipped my toe back on Sunnyblr. And I got more involved with Sunny Twitter and Nat (legal last name Paddysroyco) Tumblr user @boysareouttonight's Dennis edits were like the final nail in the coffin of being a stan.

I think something shifts when you are able to look past Dennis' facade and actually see the person inside, the character they won't let you see unless you really get it.

And the obsession begins, and continues, and is good to me, keeps me happy and everything here just tickles my brain and makes me engage and talk. And like there's real, actually insanely intelligent discussion on here and meta and analysis and theories and then there's the most cracked out post you've ever seen and then there's something that's somehow both and it's just something else.

I'm at an all-you-can-eat buffet after reaching into the depths of my cupboards for a month straight. And we're getting more, and a lot, and whatever it is is more content. Every frame, every title, every crumb we find, there's other people here who get it all and make it fun, in a way that's not tiring or eye-rolling or completely off the mark, in a way that keeps me full-steam rolling ahead and coming back.

This devolved a little, as thoughts do, but I am happy to be here, I guess. I'm looking forward to this fucking season and whatever lies ahead: whether it's dry for Macdennis or overwhelmingly wet, whether we get solid character development or some weird backsliding, a mix of both, if there's strange retcons or really fucking-good ones, any unexplained moments or looks or props, or expressions, I'm experiencing it all with people who get it. Maybe in a completely unhinged way, maybe in a crazy smart way, or a reasonably sober way, but always from a place of getting it.

We're getting Season 16, it's real, more to the story, more to piece together and layout and pick and prod and compare and re-tell (and re-write if you really want). In, like, 18 days. Fuck me up.