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sp00kymulderr · 11 months ago

Text

Unbound

Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings/Tags/Notes: 18+ for explicit content. qz!Joel, age gap, m recieving oral, teeny bit of throat fucking, unprotected p in v, a little degredation, mixed with a little praise. Tiny bit of ass play. A good hint of breeding kink. Feelings because this is me. Unedited and unbeta'd.

Words: 2k~

Summary: You make the chaos go blank in his mind, where all the thoughts spend hours swirling and billowing up like a storm. They're calmer when he has you to play with.

It's nights like these he needs you most.

When his mind hums and thrums with the feelings he refuses to put name to. When his fingers shake in strange protest of his forgetting, as he pours the last of that eagerly-found bottle of scotch. Stoic by nature these days, but nature has hardly anything to do with it on evenings such as this one - when the memories his mind might make him replay are a betrayal of the highest form. Twenty years and he hasn't let go despite the lies he tells himself.

You're perfect for him. Pretty and precious and all the things that shouldn't exist in this world - a juxtaposition, he thinks, against the starkness of the landscape just beyond the walls. You were sweet when he found you, sweeter now he has you all to himself.

You'd been sucking cock for favours, dirtying your knees in filthy alleyways for ration cards and painkillers. Lovely creature in a stained skirt, spitting out a strangers seed as soon as they walked away. He'd found you like that, huddled in a corner and smoothing yourself down, wiping your face after a particularly enthusiastic session. Recovering from the thing you had never meant to become. It wasn't easy; living behind QZ walls, living under FEDRA law., trying to become your own person while stuck in the same old place never to taste the freedom of the outside world. You had to find ways to live through it, so you did.

Joel was older than most of the guys you knew. It never deterred either of you for a moment. His grey hair and weathered being stirred desires in you the others never had. He'd watched you, rapt, as you stood and brushed the dirt from your clothes. Eyes meeting like they were always going to and Joel knew immediately you were exactly what he had been looking for. He wanted you.

You'd tumbled into him. Fallen into his bed later. And it never stopped from there.

"That's it, that's it. Sweet thing takin' my cock so good" Joel murmurs as you open your mouth for him tonight.

You seem to show up at just the right times. Those moments when he feels the same familiar fears eating at him. When he searches for a bottle, for a pill, for anything that is within reach.

"Fuckin' filthy girl, swallowing me like that" He groans out, a flurry of grumbled words and curses and bit-back moans that make your cunt throb with tumultuous need. No one is like Joel Miller. No one at all.

His cockhead slips into the constricting passage of your throat, your head angled just right for him to push it back there and feel your struggle around him, watch the drool slipping from the corners of your mouth. It's not romantic, nothing pretty. Except for you, to him; always pretty, always perfect. Always his.

As it is, when you let him fill you it make his brain go quiet. And fuck if he doesn't need that every now and then…more often than not he needs it. You make the chaos go blank in his mind, where all the thoughts spend hours swirling and billowing up like a storm. They're calmer when he has you to play with.

His favourite toy.

And oh, you crave it just like he does.

You gag around him and Joel lets out a loud moan. His hips buck instinctively and your nose is burying into the wiry curls above his cock. His hand finds purchase at the back of your head, and he holds you there for just a moment before his eyes meet your watery ones and he lets you pull back.

"Good girl. Such a good little cocksucker"

A string of saliva connects you to his thick and throbbing member as you withdraw. A vulgar iteration of the string that connects you, brought him to you. You're one and the same, two souls seeking sacred sin. You look up at him wide-eyed, a stray tear making its path down your cheek. A kiss to his tip, as you keep eye contact, as you prepare to take him in again but Joel tuts and shakes his head.

"Not spillin' in that pretty mouth tonight" He says, almost emotionless except for the subtle smirk, the twinkle in his eye of what tonight holds. He hauls you up, strong hands easily moulding you to his desires as he pushes you towards the makeshift bed, one that was much more a bed than your single mattress on the floor. It felt almost like a luxury when you got to sleep in his bed. When he let you sleep.

Joel lays on the bed, pulling you down with him. His big hands splayed on your lower back as you come down on top of him. For a moment the two of you kiss. His breath tastes of alcohol. His sighs taste of guilt. He's been a slave to his emotions for as long as you've known him, as stoic and collected as he tries to be Joel is nothing but a man holding on to everything, letting the pain and trauma drag him down into miserable depths. Grief is his only constant, you've begun to realise. And as much as he wants to hide it, there's no control in the way intimacy reveals so much of one lover to the other.

"You look tired" You murmur, pulling back. Your fingers trace the strong line of his nose and then the dark circles under his eyes. It's a single moment of quiet before the insistent press of his cock against you turns to more.

"Been tired for twenty damn years" Joel responds with a huff, swatting your hand away and then giving your ass a slap, only one thought on his mind right now. Perhaps he'd beg, if you denied him. Perhaps he'd beg for you to give him the remedy, the only thing that truly turns his mind to blissful silence.

You think he would, if only you could deny him.

Instead you let his hands on your hips guide you to straddle him. You'll always give in to him. You're searching for the same relief after all. And it's what you find as you sink onto his length slowly, cunt eagerly welcoming him in. He's a stretch, even after all the time you've spent together. He fills you like nothing and no one else ever could. He makes you feel whole, unbroken, even as he splits you open on him.

"Fuck. There it is…she's opening up for me ain't she?" Joel breathes out, gravelly enough that it vibrates through you.

His hand on your hip holds tighter, the other sneaking upwards and finding your breasts, groping them with that large hand, squeezing and pinching while you begin to move your hips and moan his name all sugary sweet, dripping with honey just for him. Most calming sound he's ever known.

His eyes are on you, never straying away from the roll of your hips or the bounce of your tits. He's taken you apart in so many ways but this is forever his favourite; you on top, spearing yourself with him, letting him see you so completely. It helps him lose his thoughts, almost hypnotised by the beautiful, sinful sight of you.

"C'mon darlin', give me everything" He coaxes, teasing fingers pinching a nipple as he demands more of you. You're tumbling down, down, into him again - just like the first time, just like the next time. Your body trembles with the need for it, walls squeezing around him as your own hands take purchase on his chest and you make yourself move, riding him just like he wants.

"Everything" you agree with a whine, struck dumb by the throb of him.

He loves seeing you work hard for it, when you give him all of it and leave nothing out. You're working your way to ecstasy as his thick length throbs within you, positioning just right that it hits exactly where you need it. Your eyes close, mouth forming a little 'o' as you turn off every other thought and concentrate on the pleasure of this, of him. He's made for this.

Joels fingers knead your flesh as you fuck yourself on him, sharp grasp like a weight anchoring you to reality. He’s still there, almost gone, eyes glossy with the build of tension. Watching you like this, watching your give and take, it's a tidal wave of pleasure that drowns everything else. You’re made for this.

The world isn't spinning on its axis anymore. There is nothing - nothing - but the two of you, but the pleasure of you and him and the building tension you both feel as your bodies melt together over and over again. He's not teasing your breasts anymore, finding delight in squeezing your ass cheeks with each meeting thrust, each burial of him into you. Your words come in tongues, each one melding with the other to create a babbling melody of satisfaction that soothes him.

"You're doing so good, sweet thing" He encourages, letting you slow down your momentum after a while, when your legs shake too hard for you to keep your balance. As you fall forward onto him and your chest presses against his he brings one arm around you to hold you there. His lips meet the top of your head, placing a kiss there; gentle even as he raises his knees slightly and lifts his hips to fuck into you now.

"Want it, Joel" you whimper softly. Each push of him into you elicits sounds that are angelic to his ears.

"Beggin' for my cum, beggin' for me to fill you…my perfect, perfect cumdump" Joel mouths against your hair with a smile. It's this, he thinks, that makes him lose himself the most - the way you want him to fill you every time. It wakes the primal thing in him that shouldn't exist anymore, the thought of you round and heavy and his. Thoughts he fights every damn day but fuck they feel like truth when he's in you.

"Make me yours" You say, muffled by your lips latching on to any piece of him you can as his hands spread your cheeks, a finger pressing ever-so at your tight ring of muscle there while his cock drives into your cunt over and over. It's so much, at once, and he's only toying with you there.

"Think you're already mine, aren't you?" He retorts gruffly, the rumble of his voice making shockwaves through your body. He's right, of course he's right. You need the fix of him. He mends you, every time. Brings something new to you, to remind you what it is to exist. And in return you give him the gift of forgetting, of losing all the rotten parts of his soul to something else for a moment in time that he wishes could last forever.

You answer in mumbles and moans, that turn to sinful harmonies as you come undone by him - trembling with the power of it as his tip hits something euphoric in you again and again and you're crashing into pleasure all at once. You squeeze around him, and he curses in your ear, holding you tighter and moving slower, relishing the drag through your convulsing walls.

"Want it, please" you repeat again in that barely-there whine that makes him lose control every time. Sweetness incarnate as you beg him to finish in you.

It flips the switch, and Joel is burying himself deep in you, spilling forth his offering. Your breath heaves against his skin, and his fingers grip you so tight you can't move an inch as he pours himself into you in ropes of white against your insides.

"It's yours" He groans out, a breath of relief as his mind goes fuzzy, limbs limp on the bed as his release wanes and he's spent.

And then, quiet. It's always quiet in the after. Moments of peace you both have been reaching for forever. Found in the arms of each other.

It's quiet except for the hum of words that slip from his lips as he rubs a soothing pattern into your skin. "Thank you".

Soft, and gentle, and him.

Your eyes close, as his do, both unbound from the disquiet for just a little while longer.

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