#its 2am i have a lot of work tomorrow what am i doing here

[aline-spice]

The flipside.. <3 I'm on team dove this phestival, let's go team pink and love !!! btw, my roblox username is Alineuh26 (ugh. Dumb username but blame the roblox 10 dollar username change) if you're bored add me and join me when i play games :b i talk a lot !! PLEASEE I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE

[tranceykkoneko]

what do I like

I've kind of had a hard time articulating, even to someone I am actively planning to have submit to me, what I like. its obviously very frustrating to be a sub going, "mistress how can I please you?" and for some reason she's going, "hmmmm I don't know maybe if you like drink some water or give me some money?" right in the middle of a scene. its confusing and stupid and no good.

negotiation is important. its easy to think that because you aren't doing anything physically dangerous then why even bother, how bad could a mistake even be.

I've had so many problems from not setting up expectations properly, and not thinking enough ahead of time how I want to do things.

for example, when I was in school, here's something that might happen.

I'd think something like, "ah, I kind of want a stupid slave to buy me a new sweater tonight", and then not plan it properly.

I'd text someone at like 3pm during class indicating that I want something, and then its like, what time do we do it, do I need to have my whole self available to you or is this one of those things that is more fun if I'm trying to play a video game during?

I'd then proceed to go get food and then to work and run around catching buses to classes and then going to my part time job, and then walking home from school, etc

and maybe I'd text him some sexy stuff and rile him up during all this but like, its now 7:30 and I haven't come up with how I'm going to put him in trance, which sweater I want him to buy, and haven't even thought about what time I want this to happen.

we'd end up calling at like 2am and I just do the normal thing where I brainwash him a little. which is good, we both like that but what the hell lmao, I didn't get my sweater or the money or any sleep. and then we're both exhausted all day tomorrow.

I honestly struggle with planning and negotiation a lot, its not good. people have had to like apologize for not helping me plan more because in my scrambling I've accidentally guilt tripped them into thinking that its their fault for not putting in the amount of work to get brainwashed.

I'm better at it now. now that I think of negotiation as simply tallking with a friend about my plans in order to firm them up a bit better.

Anyway, because the vast majority of my experience of this kind of play are hypnotizing someone through a text chain and occasional photos, I think I'm pretty good at it. I haven't always found mind control hot and didn't even know hypnosis was actually possible until I made a friend who turned out to be really into it. He walked me through the type of stuff he likes, and I tried a couple things, and then a couple other similar things with other people.

the actual mind control flavoring part is fun and cool, but my fun comes from successfully putting someone in a trance and then them coming up from it to tell me I did a good job. is that service domme behavior? maybe? some rude person actually in the middle of a trance once said, "why must you insist on subbing from the top? it doesn't matter what I want, properly order me to do stuff." that really hurt my feelings because I just wanted to do a good job making someone feel good, you know?

yeah idk if that all made any sense. I'll do a sweep for typos and then post it.

[abovebelowetherington]

yep, I did it, fresh out the clutches of line art and colouring hell here is the line art and colouring of my characters fangs move sheet, and let me just say before getting onto some of the process and closing thoughts that creating line art for 11 or so character poses is way easier said than done, seriously the amount of times I had to redraw the shape of fangs skull and horns have probably formed some type of muscle memory in the time I took to get this done, since 11am I’ve been at this and here I am at almost 2am making a blog about it, just....god this one was draining to make and while like divorcing myself from the exhaustion and frustration of all the time this stupid thing ate up it actually looks pretty good, you know what I’ve been working on this since 11 I’m very tired right now I deserve a pat on the back this looks good.

In terms of process there’s really little I can remember specifically of the utter marathon of getting it done other than yet again it took a super long time and I was really not having a good time by the end because A. this is taking all day to get done meaning there are like another 5 things that aren’t being worked on due to that and B. line art can be really tiring to do after a while  

but you know I guess even if there wasn’t to explain I still reached my goal of getting the line art done even if it took one chunk of my sanity and patience with it.

now colouring aside from coming to collect its own owed chunk of my sanity is a BIT more interesting as it revolves around some level of layer based shenanigans, see because of fangs body being pitch black it means his colours can blend in with the line art which as you can imagine is a problem for certain poses, so what did I do?

simple create a layer below my line art for basic colouring and one above to drawn a white greyish colour line over the already existing ones that would blend into the body if otherwise, this probably wasn’t the most practical way to do it but, hey too late to go back now isn’t it?  

your probably noticing I’ve been very bitter sounding during this whole thing and that’s probably because at this point I’m very tired and want to go to bed and secondly this has taken a lot out of me and I’m still very worried about all the upcoming stuff I still need to do, like the 20-40 more blogs I still need to get done, I guess overall as of right now it’s somewhat hard to divorce the quality of what I’ve made with the feelings of frustrated exhaustion I have over it it’ll probably pass

expect a follow up to this tomorrow adding some excess stuff and extra colouring, I need as many posts as I can squeeze out of each project and I’m way too tired at this point to continue, so yeah see you in 9 hours probably bye.

[levisgirll]

oki it me again uWu back with another request because I really enjoyed the first one!!!💗💗 couldn't find the exact words to phrase this but what about aomine (from Kuroko no basuke) as your boyfriend in university. I look forward to what you will write!!

𝐀𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

text: hello again!! thank you so much for reading my posts and the fact that you like them makes me happy c: 💗💗 I'm glad you enjoyed the other request so, I hope you enjoy this! (also, aomine is my second fav in knb ^^ he's just so attractive oml-)

synopsis: aomine daki, the great basketballer player at your university is your boyfriend! how is it like to have aomine as your boyfriend though? and how does he act with you? (get ready for this-)

Once Aomine is your boyfriend, get ready cause this guy will show off and flex a lot when it comes to you. Whenever you stay and watch his practices, he flexes a lot with his back muscle and he would turn around if YOU saw that. You are just sitting there, all blushed while covering your face, "Oh god, this idiot..."

Sometimes, the basketball club would invite student for 'Learning the basics of Basketball' and the first person he wants to invite is, of course, his girlfriend. While he is waiting for her, he would just sit in the bench and lots of people go to him for help, but he would ignore everyone and say he is tired and to leave him alone. But once he sees you, y/n, entering he is all energetic and comes running to you. "Aomine, let me change wait" , "But darling, I was waiting for like 10 minutes...you have to make up for that."

Once everyone leaves and its just you two, he gets all hyped up cause he loves it when you are alone with him. He gets extra clingy towards you and keeps on hugging you and you can feel his tensed muscular body. "Sweetheart, you looked amazing today."

Okay but this guy, would fuck up and beat any guy that even showed any sort of disrespect. He is not standing there with a glare or bumping into them if someone laughs, or says something mean to you. He will go up to that person and hold them up while saying "Okay, you started this. Come here."  You have to stop him before he gets physical towards them, "Aomine! Stop!! They just said to me to move". "Yea, 'Move you', what the fuck is that? Asshole, learn some manners! Do you know who you even spoke to!"

This guy is smart, so he knows all your university spots, so don't be surprised if you see him out of nowhere. "Hey its that guy! He is always following you!" Kagami would yell out, "Fuck, you have some stalker Y/N" Kagami would say while glaring at him, he was your university best friend. "That's my b-boyfriend."

Your man will also buy you a lot of snacks, and if you say you skipped breakfast. He is dragging you to the university café and will force you to eat after he buys you food.

Oh my god, your boyfriend loves to tease you A LOT. Like there wont be a day he wont tease you. If you somehow changed up your hairstyle, he will make a huge scene. "No WAY! Sweetheart, you look so good! Wow, that's my GIRL! You all heard that??!"

Aomine makes you laugh like crazy, and there also wont be a day he wont make you laugh. He just loves it whenever he hears your beautiful laugh and small giggles, he founds it so cute and you really warm his heart whenever he hears that.

He will never forgive himself if he ever made you upset or cry. Aomine will probably think about it the whole day and he will keep spamming you "I'm sorry" multiple times. If you don't reply back, he would come to your lecture hall and he is gonna make a scene. "Y/N I SAID IM SORRY!"

You definitely boost his ego, like crazy. Whenever he feels low before a match he would call you and he just wants to hear his girlfriends voice motivating him. "Aomine, don't worry you got this! Besides, didn't you tell me the only one who can beat you...is you?" "Fuck, you are right. Darling, I'm gonna win this and I'll come and hug u after this match. Wait for 20 minutes" And he actually does it.

This guy sticks with his words, so if you tell him meet up at 2 pm. He is there at 2pm waiting for you. If he says he will do literally anything for you, he fucking will.

Once he got, really upset and emotional and he said to you during a call at midnight. "Y/N, Dont leave me like how everyone does.". You then recalled about him telling you about this past and how his old teammates left him, so you would say "I wont, I'm your girlfriend aren't I?" And he is up on his bed all hyped hearing that, "Can I see you now!" "Aomine it's 2am and I have a quiz tomorrow bye, shutting my phone love you!" But this guy wont leave you and spam you in EVERY social media. "Nice try, but I know you have discord on your laptop. Wait, I see you online I'm calling you now."

One time, he came to your huge lecture hall and he sat right next to you, and he would just turn and look at you, focusing on what you are doing, and play around with your stuff and hair. "Aomine, I am trying to focus!" You say all blushed and can't even write anything on your notebook. "Of course, cause you are focusing on me right? Sweetheart, I know, I know I am great." Now you wanna smack him.

Whenever he sees you, he gives you that hot smirk of his and it gives you butterflies. "Ha! Wow literally everything I do, you love it don't you?" . Y/N then turns to him and gives a small chuckle, "Don't get ahead of yourself, Aomine." He then goes near you and lays his arm on your shoulder, bring you closer and he would whisper to your ear "Why not? your my girl so, I want to impress you."

You both love it whenever you guys hold hands around university, this guy is really tall so you always feel so relaxed and also great when your boyfriend squeezes your hand, and walks you to your lecture. "Okay now try to focus on your lecture and not your mind all about me alright?"

He actually loves it when you cheer for him and that really boost not only his ego but rather his self-confidence. "Y/N! I'm gonna win this match for you!" He would yell out during the match and everyone is looking at you.

He would go for academic help for you sometimes and you guys meet up in the library to study. You are the reason he passed some subjects, don't get me wrong, he is intelligent but super lazy.

His wallpaper is a selfie of you both and he looks at that before every match. He sometimes pecks his phone when he finds a picture of you.

Speaking about his phone, this guy has a folder with just you, all your pictures, screenshots of chats, even screen records of your voice notes and videos. He just loves you dearly, and he gets so fucking mad if someone touches or even goes near that gallery. He protects that with all his life, your pictures are important and he is not the type of guy to show his friends your pictures, in fact he hates that! "My folder, my girl, and no one gets to see that. Go away."

Whenever he is bored or isn't doing nothing, he would open his phone, and check every social media app to see your online status. "Oh OH, I see you online darling! Answer me, wanna go out and get ice cream? Please say yes."

He is actually such a great motivator and brings your mood up whenever you feel like giving up during university. He won't allow that, like never. "What so you will just give up? Stop? After all this time, you let this one test fuck you up? Don't you dare let that bring you down, you idiot." He actually even inspires you.

Before you go for the whole day cause you had to work on your report he would say "Smile for me one last time?"

When he sees you from afar, he would yell out and say "That's my girl! Don't move, I'm coming for you!" And this guy jumps at you with his embraces and sometimes picks you up. "L-Love put me down!!"

He actually loves teasing you like that in public, he wants everyone to know that are are HIS girl and his only.

He messages you during his practices and even would skip practice to see you.

Y/N: Oh you don't have practice today?

Aomine: Nope! And besides, I am the captain so doesn't matter. (He is not the captain- its akashi but lies)

He says that and then goes on how he knows everything about basketball and the team and he keeps doing that till you can compliment him ‘Please Y/N say anything’ he would think and you know that but tease him back not saying anything.

*meanwhile in his basketball groupchat* 

Kise: aomine, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!

Akashi: Probably ran off to see his girl.

Atsushi: Whatever, my chance to leave and eat outside.

Kuroko: Can I join you?

Atsushi: No.

You would treat his injuries and he would just sit there, looking at you with a smirk.

Aomine: "Oh yea, here even hurts darling!"

Y/N: "Love....you are lying aren't you?"

Aomine: "What! No!...Maybe?" 

You let out a sigh "Ah, you are an idiot...stop hurting yourself all the time." He would suddenly lift your chin up and say "You know...that I love you yea? You also better tell me everything and if you need help, just say it" He can be really soft and sweet sometimes, but he gets all cringy and shy about it and he gets up rubbing the back of his head. "I-I mean that's what a boyfriend does right?! Come on, get up I'm taking you out."

Okay, I hope you enjoy this and anyone who did! Aomine is such a dork but a sweetheart and I can see most of this happening :,) 

If anyone enjoyed reading this, please then leave a like or a reblog! It means a lot and have a great day <3

[goldencherryhazz]

my stress reliever

Sub!h x reader

Warnings: smut, oral (male receiving) fluff and some swearing

A/N: so the grammys are tomorrow and I am not prepared physically or mentally, so I decided to write a little something to calm myself. Its nearly 2am so there’s probably a load of mistakes! Pls don’t copy my work. Hope you enjoy!

It was the night before the Grammys and Harry had to admit he was feeling a bit stressed but even more nervous, he was so grateful for the fact that he would not only be opening the show, but that he had been nominated for not one, not two, but three Grammys.

When he got the phone call from his manager Jeff he was over the moon and y/n was jumping for joy, whilst hugging Harry, he was also pretty sure he saw a couple tears slip down her cheeks. That feeling lasted for weeks, but now with less than 24 hours to go the nerves had definitely set in and he didn’t know how to soothe them and had been basking in his troublesome thought for the past 40 minutes.

Y/n was currently out shopping for some essentials but Harry wanted her to be no where else except in his arms, they had both become a bit clingy towards each other during the pandemic, they had heard lots of couples break up or get divorces, but with Harry touring all over the globe and y/n having to stay put for her own jobs hey were more than happy to spend months on end together.

When he heard the front door open he practically leaped up from his spot on the couch, rounding the corner to the hallway immediately spotting y/n carrying multiple bags, still clad in a coat and woolly hat, her cheeks slightly red from the cold air even though it was nearly half way through March.

‘Hiya baby’ she smiles at him

‘Hi angel, missed you’ he said fumbling with the ends of his fingers.

‘I’ve only been gone about half an hour H’ she chuckled slightly, sensing he wasn’t feeling himself and hadn’t been all day.

‘Wanna come and help me put some shopping away’ she asked starting to take her hat and coat off, before getting a nod of the head in return his shy eyes making contact with hers. She ventured her way through to the kitchen, Harry trailing his way behind her like a lost puppy, starting to feel a bit calmer just due to her presence.

They then started to putting items in their allocated places in their kitchen, working like a dynamic duo somehow knowing wherever the other was at each given moment. Once the last item was put away Harry folds away the bags and puts them in a cupboard to be used another time. He then stands there in front of her, strands of his hair falling into his face in which y/n reaches out to push them back, he nuzzled into the slight touch, craving closeness with his girl. He makes grabby hands towards her in which she immediately complied and crashed into his warm chest wrapping her arms round his shoulders, fingers tangling into his hair. He sighed deeply in contentness but with a hint of worrysome into the crook of her neck ‘what’s going on in that head of yours baby’

‘I’m just worrying about tomorrow’ he speaks honestly ‘there’s just loads of thoughts of what could go wrong running through my head, and I can’t stop them’

‘Well I know that once you get out on that stage you are going to take it and rock the hell out of it, cause that’s just you and no matter how much you doubt yourself I know you are going to be amazing no matter what happens, and I think I can speak for pretty much everyone when I say that, you’re incredible baby no matter if you win a Grammy or not, I don’t really care about a shiny piece of metal I care about you’

‘But what if I mess up the words to the songs, or fall over on stage or something stupid like that’ he rushes out.

‘Your overwhelmed baby, and that’s very understandable because you haven’t really been doing a lot of this stuff cause of the pandemic, you just need to get in the swing of things again, but I’ll be there every step of the way, don’t need to be nervous H I’m here’ she cooed as he wrapped his arms around her tighter.

‘Thankyou angel, I love you, don’t know how much I needed to hear that’ he whispered kissing her neck.

‘I love you too, no need to thank me baby, that’s why I’m here, I’ll always be your moral support. If you want I can stand at the side of the stage with banners and everything,’ she says manoeuvring to grab a tea towel to demonstrate, she starts to swing her hips around, her body going in a circle with her hands in the air that was gripping the towel, whilst cheering ‘go H, go baby, go H, go baby.’ This made Harry laugh, a real laugh immediately lighting up the whole atmosphere. He swore he couldn’t live without this girl, who was dancing around the kitchen and would probably actually do what she was demonstrating on the side of the stage whilst he performed at the Grammys, because she cared about him that much.

‘There’s that smile, missed seeing that on your pretty face today’ she smiled right back at him, glad that he was happy again.

She made her way back to him, hugging him once again placing a kiss to the side of his jaw.

‘Wanna go upstairs and get all snuggy?’ She questioned.

‘Yeah, sounds perfect angel’

‘C’mon then’ grabbing his hand and leading them to their bedroom.

When they were half up the stairs y/n suddenly spins to face him again ‘you know, if your still feeling stressed I can help you even more, pretty sure I could eliminate all of it’

‘And how do you plan on doing that angel’

‘Oh my beautiful boy, the list goes on and on’ she says almost seductively.

They both knew where this was heading so they start to rush more up the stairs, excited to get to the bedroom, and as soon as they are and the door is shut behind them, Harry is pushed so his back was against the door before y/n starts kissing his lips hungrily, biting and sucking hickeys onto his neck making him groan ‘wanna be my baby boy tonight, just want to love you on you, make sure you’re totally stress free, how does that sound baby’

He whimpers at her words he could feel his length harden at her words ‘y-yes angel, want you to take control, wanna be your baby boy’

In turn y/n whimpers feeling her panties get wetter and wetter, she backed him up to the king-size bed, their lip connecting and reconnecting, the head in the room seeming to go up about 10 degrees, Harry loved it when y/n had her way with him, taking control of his pleasure, making him cum so hard he saw stars, he swore she was magical, the fact that he was worrying about every little thing about 20 minutes ago and now not having a care in the world, he could have been in the deepest, darkest whole and she still would be a been able to pull him out.

She turns both their bodies so that Harry’s would be the first to hit the bed, she was kissing him so hard it was making his knees buckle ‘do you want to take your shirt off and lay on the bed for me baby boy’ she says in which he quickly complies, lifting the fabric over his head, to see y/n doing the same taking her bra off at the same time, making him practically drool at the sight of her perky tits just begging to be played with.

He laid on the bed following her instructions, waiting for her to come over to him, and when she did y/n let out a small moan at the sight of his fucked out face and she had barely touched him, she loved it when he was like this, letting her take control when the roles were usually reversed, she just wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel, which was pretty dam amazing.

She leaned over kissing his lips, her tongue diving into his mouth dancing with his own, she pulled away slowly ‘what do you want me to do to you baby’ she asked already knowing the answer ‘want me to play with you cock’

He whimpered and nods, his doe eyes begging her to do something about the tent in his sweats.

‘Use you words baby, wanna hear you say it’

‘P-please angel, want y-you to play with my cock’

‘Okay baby boy’ she reaches down to the tie on his sweats undoing the bow slowly, almost teasing him making him squirm and moan out ‘please touch me angel, m’starting to ache’ she works quicker getting the trousers off of his legs before throwing them somewhere in the room, then going back to pull his boxers down his long legs, his cock finally springing free from its confines and gently hitting his stomach.

Her eyes went wide at the sight of his cock, the tip an angry shade of red leaking precum, the thick veins more prominent, his balls looking deliciously filled with cum, just ready for a release. She lays between his spread legs, wasting no time in gripping his girthy shaft in her hand making Harry throw his head back and stifle out a load moan, she smiled knowing she was making his feel good with only one touch. ‘Who’s made you this hard baby?’

‘You angel, only you’ he moans as she starts bringing her hand up and down his cock, her thumb swirling over his sensitive tip making him groan every time. She then brings her head down, making eye contact with his green orbs as he lifted his up, her lips encased his tip before going down inch by inch until she was about half way, Harry let out a prolonged moan, loving the feeling of her mouth in him. Y/n brought her head up after a few more seconds gasping for air ‘taste so good baby, can’t wait to taste that cum though’ he whimpered his legs spreading even more to give her more room. When she reattached her lips to his shaft she starts bobbing her head up and down, taking him down her throat aswell, her hand tugging the rest ‘feels so good angel’ he says whilst gathering her hair in a makeshift ponytail.

At this point y/n panties were soaked, she managed to get a little stimulation by grazing her clit on the rough fabric of her jeans, making her hum in delight around his cock. She brings her other hand down to his balls, rolling them in her palm. She then comes off his cock with a pop, taking one of his balls into her mouth instead, changing between the two all whilst tugging his cock.

‘M’gonna cum if you keep doing that’ his legs starting to shake around her

‘Well that was my aim, baby’

‘wanna have you wrapped around me when I cum, please angel’ he whimpered

And with that y/n was already unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down her legs, because how could she say no to him, her clit was starting to throb aswell, she smiled knowing that it wouldn’t take long for them both to cum, she straddles him bringing her lips to his once again, he grabbed hold of one of her tits massaging it before tweaking her nipple making her whimper into his mouth. She becomes desperate pulling away quickly before gripping his shaft and lining him up with her entrance, sinking down onto him with ease because of how wet she was. They both let out prolonged moans, loving the feeling of being wrapped around each other ‘pussys so fucking tight, s’like you were made for me’ he moans out, ‘think your cock was made for me too baby boy, stretches me out soo good’ placing both hands on his chest, she whimpers slowly lifting herself up before going back down, making a slow pace. They were moaning in unison the only sound in the room, and small whimpers of ‘baby’ and ‘angel.’ y/n brings her hand down to her clit starting to make small circles, knowing she wouldn’t need much to topple over she was amazed at how fast her orgasm was creeping up on her ‘m’gonna cum baby boy, you close’

‘Yes m’so close, your gonna make me cum so hard’ his legs starting to shake again, one of his tell- tale signs.

‘Cum with me baby’ y/n says not holding back anymore, with a few more thrusts and circles to her clit she was cumming, she whimpered the words ‘baby boy’ over and over, that’s when Harry toppled over he felt his cock twitch and with that he was releasing ribbon after ribbon of cum inside of her, he stopped breathing, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, toes curling, legs shaking practically screaming profanities. He felt like he was on cloud nine, he was gasping for air, a faint ringing in his ears.

Y/n leaned down to his chest kissing a few spots, now utterly exhausted ‘you okay baby’

‘Never cum so hard in my life angel, felt incredible’ he breathes out a lazy smile on his face.

She slowly lifted herself off of him, knowing he would be sensitive before laying down beside him ‘thankyou angel’ he whispers to her

‘What for?’ she asks

‘For making me forget all of my worries, for being my stress reliever, probably would have lost it by now if I didn’t have you’ he says sweetly. ‘I don’t know what I do without you either baby’ she says kissing his lips and then pulling his head to her chest, he nuzzled into her, his long arm draping the duvet over them, before gripping onto her waist.

‘Now go to sleep my beautiful three time Grammy nominated boyfriend, you’ve got a big day tomorrow’

[nerdflash]

Lights, Camera, Action

A/N: It’s been a long time since I wrote anything and posted it here. I’ve been reading some great fanfics since coming back and I’m overwhelmed to even think there was a time, I had people asking me to write things for them. No one asked for this, but I’ve been feeling inspired. I’m thinking of making it a little series so let me know your thoughts and if you want more.

Synopsis: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader. You’ve been working on the set of a new film Tom is in, and the two of you have hit if off and seem to spend a lot of time talking in between takes. Your feelings are beginning to grow for him, but you’re unsure if Tom feels the same way.

Word Count: 1.3k

Mentions: Social media, a mention of being followed and one mention of a sex dream.

PART ONE - On Set Favourites

You’re stood next to your manager Vanessa, who, since you started the job, has treated you like an equal and a friend. 

“So if you could oversee the evening shoot tomorrow and organise any logistics, I would owe you one.” You tilt your head and smile. Vanessa has a second date set up with a guy she’s been sweet on for a while. You can’t possibly say no. Besides, you love your job so much and have worked so hard to get where you are, that you’re willing to put the time in.

“You don’t owe me anything, just promise tell me all the details.” She smiles at you and nods her head, her eyes glancing behind you before meeting your face again.

“Oh I will, besides...Tom’s shooting tomorrow and he’s walking over here right now. Have fun.” You feel your cheeks flush and don’t have time to say anything as Vanessa walks away, a mischievous grin on her face. You turn around and see Tom smile at you.

You can’t help but smile back, it’s hard not to when his whole smile lights up the room. You push a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he reaches you.

“Hey Y/N.” The way he says your name makes your stomach fill with butterflies. Despite being British yourself, his accent is so much cuter than yours.

“Hey Tom...How are you doing?” His eyes soften and he nods his head.

“I’m good...So...Is it true you’re overseeing tomorrow’s shoot?” You nod your head and cross your arms over your chest, a playful tone to your voice.

“That’s right Mr Holland, is there something wrong with that? Because I can speak to Vanessa and change…” He laughs and shakes his head, taking a step closer to you.

“No, no...I just wanted to ask. Besides...You know you’re my favourite.” You blush and roll your eyes.

“You’re just sweetening me up, so I bring you Starbucks aren’t you?” Tom has the good grace to laugh and look mock offended.

“I am not sweetening you up for a coffee!” He pauses a beat and then says “I’m sweetening you up for a muffin too.” You laugh and the two of you walk to the catering table.

“So, any plans for the weekend?”  You pour the two of you a coffee and pass a cup to Tom, shaking your head.

“Honestly. I think after the shoot tomorrow, I’ll just want to stay in bed for a week. But, realistically, I should probably start looking for a new place a bit closer to work.” Tom takes a sip of coffee and eyes you over the cup.

“Room mate still being difficult?” You nodded your head and lean your butt against the table. 

“Yeah, she woke me up 2am last night having an argument with her “boyfriend” then I had to endure them having loud sex till 3am!” Tom sighs and shake his head.

“I’m sorry, listen, I could ask around, see if anyone is looking. Maybe point you in the direction of some areas where you don’t feel so on edge walking from your car.” You’d told Tom about the time some weird guy followed you from your car and loitered about the entrance of your building. It had shaken you up pretty bad and for the rest of the week, Vanessa had called you and stayed on the phone until you’d gotten in your apartment safely.

“Thank you, though nowhere too expensive right? We’re not all blessed with the looks and talent to be in front of the camera.” You nudge him with your elbow and he grins and looks at you.

“You think I have looks?” You laugh shaking your head,  your cheeks flush.

The thing about Tom though, is he’s genuinely this friendly and talkative with everyone, so you know you shouldn’t read too much into the flirty comments. But recently the initial feelings of just finding him really easy to talk to, confide in and laugh with, have changed. You’ve found yourself thinking about him more. When you get home after a long day, you find yourself scrolling through his Instagram and resisting the urge to like all of his photos and videos. You’d even recently had a sex dream about him and the memory suddenly makes your palms sweat.

“Are you ok Y/N? You look a bit flustered.” Tom’s face is etched with concern. You shake your head and take a step back, your hand coming to the walkie talkie fastened to the hip of your jeans.

“Uhh yeah, I just remembered that I have to…” You walk away leaving Tom confused and leaving yourself feeling annoyed at being so hung up on a guy, that is being nothing more than friendly.

- 

You sit back in the chair and stifle a yawn, stretching your arms above your head, you close your eyes and tilt your neck, trying to work out the tension. Tom’s voice pulls you from your reverie.

“I thought you might like this.” You open your eyes slowly as Tom leans forward and places a steaming cup of coffee in front of you. You wrap your fingers around the mug, savouring its warmth and smile softly at Tom.

“Thank you.” He nods and pulls a chair up, sitting down, a cup of coffee in his hand.

“You’re welcome. I figured you needed it, I know I did.” He takes a sip from the cup and sits back in his chair. His eyes looking forward and watching the lighting guys, set up for the next scene. He seems a little, distracted and your brows knot in concern. Leaning forward, you say softly.

“Hey, Tom...Are you ok?” He lets his head fall back as he takes a deep sigh, before slowly looking over at you.

“I just...I just sometimes I wish I was better at all of this.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Tom gestures at the set with his hand and leans forward in his chair.

“I just...Worry, I guess. Like I feel so blessed to have landed Spider-man, but I just worry no one will see past me as Peter Parker, you know? I know I shouldn’t complain, because I know how lucky I am, but I want to be versatile, not just seen as a teenager. I always worry doing projects like this, that I won’t be taken seriously.”

You reach over and tentatively place your hand on Tom’s knee, his eyes fall to your fingers before meeting your eyes. 

“I take you seriously. I know it doesn’t count for much but...Like honestly, I’ve been watching your scenes in this film and I’ve been blown away. When you shot that scene the other day and your character started crying, I had tears in my eyes. You’re so, so good. Both as an actor and a man.” You can’t decipher the way Tom looks at you, because he places his hand on top of yours and you feel as though you’re falling.

“Do you really mean that?” His eyes are big and sincere. You nod your head and smile at him softly. 

“Every single word Mr Holland.” He grins at you and gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You savour the feeling of it for a moment, before pulling it away slowly and taking a sip of your coffee.

“Thanks y/n...And what you think does count to me.” The pair of you hold each others gaze for a moment before Tom coughs, his eyes shining playfully.

“So...Still planning to spend your weekend in bed?” You raise your eyebrows at him. 

“Why do you make it sound much more exciting than it will be? But yes, I am...Ooh, apart from one apartment viewing in the afternoon, thanks to one of your contacts.” His face lights up.

“That’s great news...Let me know how you get on.” And before you realise he’s reaching over, grabbing your phone and putting his number in it. He stands up and passes it back.

“Text me.” With that he walks away towards the set and you look down at your phone and see he’s saved his number under “My Favourite” And once again, you find yourself wondering if Tom is just being friendly or flirting.

[wonderlandhatter]

Fixations and love.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (I’m fairly sure I didn’t include any pronouns so it can be read as gender neutral)

Summary: Just fluff honestly, it’s quite short but it’s pretty much just Spencer coming home from a case, you’re making bread and lots of cuddles and kisses. Pretty much just fluff with plot.

Word count: 1674

Warnings: None just a load of fluff.

Prompt: 7. “Well the probability of that is 0 but knock yourself out”

A/N: Thank you so much for the request. i posted this like 10 days ago but it was unedited and honestly awful, I haven’t had any inspiration to write in ages, i tried to fix the mess that this was but I still don’t think its great, its ok but anyways. I’m going to try and get out of this slump.

A/N2: My old account got deleted so I'm just reposting my fics I would appreciate if you could bust this so i could get back to where my account was thank you for your time.

God you hated mornings. They are just horrible, people that like them should not be trusted, they must have issues if they enjoy leaving their nice warm bed.

That’s why you always stayed up late, it had always been that way, when the sun was down is when you felt your happiest and most productive.

And that is why you are currently up at 2am making bread in your kitchen, well attempting. You had wanted to have had the bread done by now or at least by the time Spencer got back home from their latest case. But maybe your plans to bake in the morning got pushed back by the fact you slept until 2pm (it’s the weekend so no judging) and then had some work you brought home to finish so yeah, you’re doing it now. But better late than never.

You were currently sitting on your couch watching greys anatomy while you let your dough rest (for the third time because you may or may not have been very unsuccessful thus far but third times the charm right).

While you were completely wrapped up in the current episode you heard the keys turning and your front door opening to reveal your very handsome boyfriend finally home from a weeklong case.

As soon as you both made eye contact smiles appeared and you rose from your spot and ran straight into his open arms were your face buried into his chest welcoming his familiar smell and he buried his into the top of your head letting the smell of home engulf him, your smell.

You stood there for a minute or two like you always did. After every case when Spencer came home to you, you hugged him, you held each other because that’s what you needed what you both needed, sometimes longer than others but without fail you needed to feel him to feel that he was there and that he had gotten home safe.

He needed to feel you to feel at home and grounded and at peace, he needed to feel the happiness you could only bring to him in contrast of the sadness and horror he was stepping away from.

Spencer was the first to break the silence as you gripped his cardigan , he kissed your temple before speaking “I don’t think I will ever get tired of coming home to you” you smiled at that, home you loved it when he called you home, “I truly hope you don’t, I know I will never get tired of coming home to you” you said the last part as you looked up at him and saw he was already looking at you with a love sick smile, he brought one of his hands up you cup your cheek and you leaned in welcoming the familiar touch.

“I love you y/n” you smiled, god you had heard him say it so many times but it would never fail to make you smile, and so you leaned up and capture his lips in a kiss that said more you ever could.

The first kiss after a case was always all consuming, it was filed with so much love, lust and emotion. It was powerful and wonderful; it was everything you couldn’t share while you were apart and everything you did; all the I love yous and the I miss yous shared over the phone all in one kiss all to show that even though he you couldn’t always be together physically the love and care would always be there. It made you feel loved and any insecurities you or he had about themselves or the relationship were wiped away. It was a dream.

You pulled away first cursing your lungs for needing air, neither you or Spencer opened your eyes just leaned on each other’s forehead basking in the moment and relishing in the love just shared, “I love you too spencer, so much”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer had gone to shower a little after and you were making coffee, currently adding his mountain of sugar. You had gotten him to cut back on it a little, but it barely mattered he still took it like there was no tomorrow.

You heard him coming out of the shower and approaching you, your back was still to him as you made the coffee so he hugged you from behind and rested his head on your shoulder leaving light scattered kisses on your neck his half dried hair tickling you as he did you giggled.

“Spence stop your tickling me” you giggled while wriggling in his hold, “fine but only because I see coffee and I haven’t had any in too long”.

You half turn around to pick up his mug while now being caged in between the counter and him and handing him his mug.

He takes it from you with a grateful smile and takes a sip “thank you love, it’s perfect” he says after tasting it and kissing your cheek, you reply with a simple and very cocky ‘I know’ before picking up your own mug and taking a sip. Spencer simply sighed out a breathy laugh and shook his head.

Spencer set his cup down on the counter behind you and rested his hands on your hips one hand mindlessly making its way under your shirt, circling your left hip with his thumb without even thinking about it more of just an instinct to need to feel you in any way possible, you both stood like that in comfortable silence.

Spencer broke the silence as the thought popped in his head “so, what were you up to so late” your eyes widen with excitement, you had completely forgotten about the bread dough, it should be ready by now. Jumping up and setting your mug down you practically ran to where you had left your dough to rise.

“Oh, I nearly forgot” you paused in front of the bowl and looked at Spencer who was looking at you with an amused grin, while leaning on the counter and sipping his coffee. So, you explained plainly “I’ve been making bread”.

He raised a questioning eyebrow at you and repeated your statement but as more of an amused question than a statement. “You’ve been making bread?” you just scowled at him and answered very overexaggeratedly, “yes Spencer I have been making bread” you answered strongly, and he just gave you a look before you continued.

“Fine it hasn’t been very successful but this time I know it will be perfect I just need to check that my dough has risen”.

Spenser loved how you got these hyper fixations, you would obsess over shows and hobbies, you would have so much joy and passion for each of them and he loved you even more for it. This time it looks like it was bread, but he quickly saw your face drop as you took the cloth of the top of your bowl.

“Did it not rise” you simply huffed and looked ultimately defeated as you leaned on the counter behind you crossing your arms looking like a sad puppy, you looked up when you heard steps and saw Spencer making his way to you.

“I don’t get it I followed the recipe exactly why do I keep messing it up” Spencer hugged you once he had reached you and rubbed circles onto your back “it’s alright love, bread is a really difficult and delicate thing to make, I’m sure you’ll get it.” This didn’t really make you feel better, you simply grumbled and inaudible response as your face was buried in his chest, Spencer tried his best not to laugh, you were just so adorable when you were tired and slightly grumpy.

“Tell you what love, its late why don’t we go to bed and try again tomorrow”.

You just grumbled into his chest again and this time he couldn’t hold back a tinny   giggle, you knew he was right, you were tired plus you had run out of flour so tomorrow would be the better option.

You could feel Spencer’s chest move as he laughed at your response “come on love I’m sure you will get it tomorrow; I don’t have work so I can help you it will be fun” you simply replied a slightly less muffled response from your spot in his chest “Well the probability of that is 0 but you can knock yourself out“.

“Oh, come on grumpy boots, it will be fun you’re just tired just wait until tomorrow evening when you get your energy back”. “Fine Mr 187 maybe you’re right”.

“Yes I am, now come on I’m tired too, plus I’ve missed sleeping with you in my arms”.

You removed your face from his chest and looked at him while moving your arms up around his neck playing with the damp hair in the nape of his neck “I missed having you in my bed too, your hoodie isn’t the same, it smells the same, but it isn’t you”.

Spencer looked at your sad eyes recalling the nights alone “I know but I’m here now and I don’t plan on leaving your side while I am, now come on”.

You squealed as Spencer swiftly grabbed the top of your thighs and picked you up your legs wrapping around him out of habit. “Spencer I can walk”.

Spencer smirked and patted you bum with one of his hands as you hid your face in his neck to hide how flustered he was making you, “yeah well I want to carry you, I told you I’m not leaving your side while I’m home with you, I’m keeping you as close as possible”.

And with that he walked you to your shared room and laid you down, having already been in pj’s you didn’t need to change, he got under the covers with you and you held each other sharing kisses and I love yours until you drifted of feeling complete once again now that you were back together.

[unlikelymilkshakedream]

A/n: Hello! Here is part 3 for the Charlie Weasley fic I promised. Sorry this took so long. I promised angst, so I'm giving it. Hope you enjoy!

Another day, another exam, or so it seemed that way at Hogwarts. As May came to a close, and June starts, your O.W.L.s were giving you more stress than you had ever felt. Your future was on the line if you didn't do well with your exams.

Not only were your exams crushing you, your relationship had been rocky for a couple of months. After the valentines day dance with your date, Charlie Weasley, nothing could have made your life better. You were dating your best friend, all of your friends supported you, and you had no tests coming up. In other words, very different from your life currently.

You were still technically dating your best friend, but from long classes and homework that came with them, to Charlie's quiditch practices lasting forever in hopes of winning the house cup, you hadn't had time to spend a moment alone together in what felt like years.

Your friends would always be there for you and you knew that, you cared about them with your whole heart and knew they felt the same way, but they had their own exams and futures just as you did. You would never ask them for anything because you didn't want to be a burden.

And of course, your exams. Your dreams of becoming a curse breaker were very important to you. You wanted nothing more than to help people, on top of finding your brother and protecting hogwarts. You were a natural curse breaker so it only makes sense that you would pursue your passion. However, if you wanted to do that, you needed to not only pass your exams, but exceed the expectations.

With that responsibility came nights on end in the library, studying, preparing and hoping that it would all work out. Your exams, finding your brother, hell, even your relationship with Charlie. You knew how rocky it was and you were devastated by that, but you knew if you two truly wanted to, it would work out, or so you hoped.

So, another night in the library, was your fate. You wanted to be with Charlie, but you knew he had quiditch practice, and you had a potions exam in the morning that you weren't ready for. As you flipped through your book, trying to soak up as much information as you could, you didn't notice a certain redhead sneak behind you.

"Hey baby," you felt the hot breathe on your neck and jumped more than out of your skin.

"Blimey Charlie, you scared me." He chuckled as he pulled a chair beside you.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see you after practice, and I haven't seen you all weekend." He smiled at you, which you couldn't help but smile back.

"I know, its just tomorrow starts like the most stressful week of the year. If I don't do well on my exams, my future can be forgotten. Speaking of, I am not ready for potions tomorrow, hence why I'm here." You smiled as you looked back towards your book.

"Hey, you're gonna do great on your exam because you are great, and smart, and beautiful," Charlie said as you rolled your eyes and laughed. "Its just we haven't seen each other in a while, thought i could keep you company." You sighed.

"Look, I know we haven't been the most talkative lately, but what exactly do you want me to say, you know how important this is to me." He put his hand on yours.

"I know, I get it baby, I do, and after this week, we're gonna celebrate." He said with the biggest grin on his face. Suddenly, Madame Pince came around the corner with the dirtiest look on her face.

"Shh!" You smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry Madam-"

"Shh!!!" You sighed as she walked away. You turned back to charlie.

"You better go, I have to study and don't wanna get kicked out." You smiled at him.

"Okay, but I meant what I said about celebrating." He smiled hugley. You returned the smile, only a fraction of what he had given you. That made his smile falter and eventually he turned and walked back to his dorm.

Eventually you had to except the time as 11pm rolled around and Madam Pince kicked you out of the library. You took the book along with all your other stuff and headed towards your common room.

Once you were in, you sat down near the fireplace and opened your potions book once again, flipping to the section about dragon livers and how they were hard to get.

Eventually, you heard the clock strike 2am and had to call it a night. As you closed your booka nd sat back, looking into the fire, you thought of your life as a cursebreaker, how great it would be, how much you wanted to do it, and what you were willing to do to achieve that goal.

As you stood up and headed towards the stairwell, your way was blocked by charlie, the last person you expected to see, especially at this hour.

"Hey, what're you doing up?" Charlie asked groggy.

"I could ask you the same thing. I was just going to bed." You said as you pushed past him and climbed the stairs. He followed you up.

"I thought you'd be up, I was just checking on you." You turned around as you got to the last step before your dorm and smiled.

"Thats sweet, but go back to bed. Goodnight." You leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, then headed into your dorm, falling on your bed and instantly falling asleep.

The next morning, you woke at around 8. Shit. You were late. You quickly got up and dressed faster than ever and ran to the dungeons. You mad either to class just in time, not eating or anything.

"Well, well, Ms. Brooks, you have decided to grace us with your presence, how considerate." Snape sneered at you as you walked to your seat beside Rowan, breathing heavily, across the room, you saw Charlie looking worriedly at you, which was the last thing you wanted in that moment.

Once your potion exam was finished, you walked out of the room, feeling exhausted and like you failed. You started walking to your next exam, which was charms, the easiest of your exams. Soon enough a certain redhead caught up with you.

"Hey, y/n, why were you late today?" You turned to him.

"I over slept, which I dont do, so I didn't realize at which point I had to sprint to make it, which I didnt." You sighed tired lying. "Why?"

"Just wondering, I missed you at breakfast. Did you eat anything?" You smiled softly.

"No, I haven't but its fine, look i have to go to charms and I really don't wanna be late again, see you." Without another word from either of you, you walked away to charms.

At charms, you felt most confident of all classes, which honestly wasn't saying a lot. You finished your exam pretty easily and walked to the great hall, intending on studying until your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam in an hour. Once the clock struck the time to take your next exam, you left the great hall.

Once you reached DADA, you walked in with Tulip and took your seat. You should feel bad, but you just were so glad charlie wasn't there, staring at you like a sorry case. He meant well and you knew it but you just wanted space.

As you finished your final exam of the day, you headed to the library, studying for transfigurations next. When you reached the library, unfortunately you fell into the same pattern as the previous night, except this time no charlie.

When the clock struck midnight, you went to the dorm room and headed straight for bed, not bothering to study anymore. Once your head hit the pillow, you were out.

When you woke up the next morning, the sun was shining into your window nicely. It was a good way to wake up honestly. You say up and saw Rowan asleep. You figured you had a few minutes before breakfast so you got up and got dressed.

You and Rowan walked to breakfast while revising your transfiguration knowledge. You didn't feel as bad about it as potions but you also didn't feel as great about it as charms. Walking into the great hall, you found Charlie sitting with his younger brothers. You knew you had to go sit with him.

"Hey y/n, how'd you sleep?" Charlie asked as he saw you sit next to him and his brothers giggled at him, to which he sent a dirty look.

"Um, not the best but ye know. Its whatever." As you sat down you ate the blandest breakfast ever, granola and coffee, it would just have to do for today.

"Are you guys ready for the big game tomorrow night?" Fred asked the table. You looked at him with a confused expression whereas everyone else seemed to understand.

"What game fred?" He turned to you.

"Uh, the house cup game, we are so gonna kick hufflepuffs ass." Ah.

"Right, good luck." Charlie turned to you.

"You'll come right love? What me win?" You smiled as you sipped your coffee.

"Uh yeah, maybe, I might have to study for History of magic but we'll see." Charlie stopped.

"Y/n, you can't miss the game, its only the biggest game of the year. Please come." Ugh when he gave you those puppy dog eyes, you knew you were done for.

"Okay, yes I will go, of course I will." You smiled and kissed his cheek.

As breakfast finished and you and Rowan made your way to transfiguration, you felt confident in the upcoming essay. Going over info with Rowan definitely helped.

Once you were finished with the exam, you went to the great hall, being assigned twenty five inches of parchment for the second half of the exam was not ideal. You were stressed out, but at least you only had care of magical creatures left for the day, something you were sure you'd excel in thanks to charlie.

As you walked down the grounds for your exam, you felt very confident that you'd do well. Your confidence was correctly placed as you walked to the common room to start on you parchment for transfiguration, doing very well on your exam in care of magical creatures.

The real problems didn't start until the following day, charlies big game was today and you hadn't made a dent in your parchment, due to not being able to focus and eventually falling asleep far earlier than you would have liked. Today you had exams in astronomy, history of magic and a regular potions class. You were extremely busy today, it didn't help you woke up 20 minutes before your exam in astronomy so you had to sprint once again to be on time.

Once you were seated in astronomy, your exam begun and you didnt feel very confident. You gave it your all and after about 75 minutes, you were done. You walked out and saw your boyfriend charlie who lit up when he saw you. You walked over to him with a small smile on your face.

"Hey babe, whats up?" You asked him.

"Not much now that your hear, just nervous for later." You looked at his smiling face confused.

"Later?" His smile dropped. You had forgotten about the quitditch match.

"The match that determines who wins the house cup? I thought you were coming, its really important to me." Shit. Right, yeah of course you would go.

"Right, of course I will be there, sorry I'm just tired you know how it is. I will be there, but right now I have to go to potions, ill see you later." Damn, how had you forgotten?

Potions seemed to last forever as Snape lectured on Beatle brains, you swore you were going to die of boredom, all you wanted to do was study for history of magic.

When class was finally dismissed, you headed straight for the library, not having your final exam for an hour and a half. When you sat down in the library, you immediately fell into studying, the time slipping by quickly until it was time to go to your exam.

Arriving to your exam, you set your things down and got ready for it, feeling confident as you had spent a lot of time studying for this. You finished your exam in 65 minutes and headed to the great hall, feeling hungry.

When you got to the great hall and saw what was happening inside, all hunger left your body.

Shit.

Inside, Gryffindor students were celebrating the win of the house cup, you had forgotten the game. You walked in to the great hall and saw Charlie, held up by his teammates above everyone like a king. You smiled at how happy he looked, but when he saw you, its like every drop of happiness was taken from him and you felt your heart break.

Charlie told his team mates to let him down which they did as he made his way over to you, looking hurt and disappointed. You couldn't do much besides stand there and look at him sheepishly.

"Y/n, why didn't you come to the game, you knew how important it was to me and how much I could have used your support." He said loudly, causing those near you to look on at the conversation.

"Charlie, can we go in the hallway?" He looked pissed but didn't object. Once you were away from everyone, you turned to him.

"Charlie, I am so sorry I didn't go to your game, I was in the library studying and the time just got away from me and before I knew it I had to go to my exam and I completely forgot l. I'm so sorry. But you won anyway so you didn't need me at all, cause your just that good." You said with a smile, trying to defuse his anger. It didn't work.

"Y/n, that's not the point, you said you would be there and I wanted you there. You didn't need to study for your exam, you've been studying all week, this is all I asked of you and you couldn't even give me this." As he finished, you felt sorrow drain and anger rise.

"What exactly do you mean I didnt need to study for my exam? I have been studying all week, unlike you, because I care about getting good grades. You know how badly I need to do on my exams to have a future! I didnt go to your match, because I wanted to make sure I did well. I apologized but now your being irrational." He scoffed.

"Irrational? I asked one thing of you, I asked you to attend a quiditch match to support your boyfriend, but apparently if it doesn't benefit you, it doesn't matter, huh is that it?" You were now fully screaming at each other, thank god the hallway was deserted.

"Are you serious? You know maybe if you cared more about your future and grades like I do, you would see where I'm coming from, but all you care about is a God damn match and dragons! No wonder we've been like this for months. You say im selfish, I've done everything for you. I miss one thing and the worlds over to you." Charlie turned away and scoffed.

"You're right, we have been like this for a long time, because we just don't work anymore." You froze. "Y/n, you can't even support your own boyfriend, you care more about tests than anything, this clearly isn't working." You looked at him while a tear rolled down your cheek, which you quickly wiped away. You didn't want to break up with Charlie, God no. But he didn't seem to want to stay together.

"Charlie, it's not like that, you know how stressed I've been, I'm sorry I didn't come to your game, I truly meant to go. I care a lot about my future, but you don't and thats not on me. You can't put this on me, its not just the match, you've been like this ever since the dance, its not only me." More tears rolled down your cheeks as one slid out from his eye.

"Y/n, this just isn't working, I'm sorry." No, God no please.

"Charlie, no, please, don't do this. I swear I-" he cut you off.

"I'm sorry, its already done." He turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone in an empty corridor, feeling your heart leaving your soul. You don't know how it happened, you don't know where it went wrong. Was it truly the match? Or was it ever since the day of the dance? Did he even ever like you?

As you stood in that corridor, you felt cold, you felt like you soul left you. You watched him walk away and eventually out of eyesight, thinking about how you would never feel his kiss again, never feel the comfort of his embrace, never feel his love again.

You didn't want this, God no, but your gut told you it had to happen, you just wish it didn't hurt this much. As you wrapped your arms around yourself and sank to the floor with tears on your face, you felt nothing but hollow, wishing the presence of charlie was still there. Wishing he could hold you and tell you he loved you again, as you loved him still.

You didn't know how you were going to go on without him, but you knew one thing for sure, the last thing you cared about was your fucking grades, because you just lost the best thing in your life.

A/n: okay, sorry this took so long, I suck i know! Im sorry this was shitty, I will try to finish the series relatively soon, there will be 2 more parts. I hope you like it, thanks for reading!

[sweetest-honeybee]

To Hell and Back

Chapter 26

Summary: Introducing....The Lord of Darkness.

Characters: Impulse, Keralis, Xisuma, Doc, Wels, The Lord of Darkness, Evil X, Hels

TW: A bit violent, this chapter

————————

“Impulse get up, your turn.”

Groggily, Impulse turned over in his bed with a whine. “It’s 4 already?” He sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. When he took his hands away, Doc was already halfway flopped onto his bed snoring.

He snorted, but knew that the creeper was up for at least a day before he finally got some sleep. Impulse had a habit of sleeping in so he wasn’t in bed until nearly 2am, and now only having gotten 2 hours of sleep. Thankfully, he had one of the shorter shifts as did Keralis. Xisuma and Doc decided they would be the ones to keep the longer hours.

Tiredly, he threw his legs over the side of the bed and threw on his armor from his inventory. Grabbing his sword from beside the bed, he made his way out of the room and down the blinding white hall. Xisuma could at least put some concrete or honey in here too to not make it so harsh on the eyes but he couldn’t complain when there were more pressing matters.

However, Impulse wasn’t halfway down the hall before he heard shouting- no, screaming- from behind the piston door. Screaming Impulse’s name. Suddenly wide awake, he pulled the lever to the door, preparing for the worst. And boy, did the worst hit him.

The moment he opened the door, he was met with a red eyed stare, but not from Wels. The knight in question was sat up straight, wide eyed, but behind the chair stood a tall shadowy creature. It looked vaguely like a wither skeleton but draped in long black robes that faded into the floor seamlessly. Curled horns made their way from its head and before Impulse would react, large hands seemingly made of shadows quickly made their way to him.

They didn’t grab him. Instead, they shoved themselves inside him and it felt as if they were ripping at his organs. At first, he let out a spine chilling scream, but as the seconds passed, Wels took on a deadly glare and with the tilt of his head towards Impulse, the man fell to the floor.

Behind him, the three from the other room joined with their gear and swords ready. Though they hadn’t prepared themselves for what they saw. They thought it was just Wels lashing out again, probably escaped, but it wasn’t that. Easily, Wels broke through the chains on the chair with a mere tug of his limbs. The creature laughed, a howl of thunder ringing around the room.

“Who are you?!” Xisuma yelled. Nobody made a move to attack whatever it was just yet. Impulse was unconscious and Wels stood stock still just….staring. He wasn’t lashing out nor spitting snarky comments at them. Just red, slitted eyes, gazing at them blankly.

The creature spread his arms as if to show off himself and held his head high. “I am the Lord of Darkness, a creature of pure hatred and chaos, here to destroy your world once and for all.”

The Lord of Darkness….Where had Xisuma heard that from? Quickly his thoughts were shoved aside by a deep chuckle from his left.

“Well,” Doc began, taking a more crouched stance. “I can’t let you do that.” With that, he charged at The Lord of Darkness, but was swiftly caught by Wels. This time, Wels had a vice grip, not showing any signs of letting go.

“I can’t let you do that,” Wels parroted. His voice sounded as if there were four of him in the room. With no struggle, he ripped the trident from Doc’s grip and the creeper growled. Doc was easily a foot taller than Wels, how could this be?!

“Wels, take care of him for me.” The Lord of Darkness turned to Xisuma and Keralis. “And you two-“ It held up a hand, red particles emitting from it. “Can work for me.”

As the particles shot their way, both deflected them with their swords and made a run for it. They both felt incredibly awful about leaving Doc but what could they do? Kill Wels? Kill The Lord of Darkness? The two made a beeline upstairs and out of the base, throwing on their elytra and fumbling to pull out their rockets. Behind them, all they could hear was the growing thunderous cackle emitting from the ground, practically making the jungle trees shake.

“Ohhh that’s bad. That’s really bad,” Keralis worried. “What do we do now?!”

“Would you calm down?!” Xisuma snapped. “I don’t know yet but we need to find Evil X, he might know something about this. He’s mentioned something about The Lord of Darkness before.”

Keralis fell silent, not wanting to stress the admin further. Internally, however, he was terrified. He fired rockets like there was no tomorrow to get away from- from that. Whatever the Lord of Darkness was planning to do to the server, he could only wonder what Wels and Hels had to do with it. Maybe The Lord of Darkness was The Lord of Hels to some extent.

Was Evil Xisuma from Hels? Or lived there? Did he know The Lord of Darkness? Keralis thought up hundreds of questions within the minute they flew. He glanced at Xisuma, only just barely seeing his eyes through the tinted visor. In front of them, the sun was peeking on the horizon and the sky began turning a deep blue. While he could only see Xisuma’s eyes, his brows were quite obviously knitted together.

They circled Evil X’s base, not finding him, nor Hels, outside. Xisuma figured as much, since it was beginning to probably just pass 4:30am. They were presumably asleep. They landed on a decently made stone pathway leading to the front. Glancing at each other, they went inside, but stopped when their communicators buzzed.

Docm77 was slain by The Lord of Darkness

Their breaths hitched at the death message. They could only hope that their creeper friend was okay. At least he would respawn, despite it not it not being very favorable among the Hermits. Both Xisuma and Keralis kind of wondered what The Lord of Darkness did to kill him. Given the current events, it must’ve been torture of some kind and both of their stomachs twisted at the various ways it could’ve happened.

ImpulseSV was slain by The Lord of Darkness

“Oh jeez. I don’t like where this is going,” Xisuma muttered, pocketing his communicator. “Come on, we’re losing time.” He gestured for Keralis to follow, which he did.

Thankfully, both Hermits had been to Evil Xisuma’s base quite often with their close proximity. They knew the Ins and Outs of the place and had no problem descending the winding steps into the darkness below. With their frequent visits also came the knowledge that the darkness was only temporary to scare some people off if need be. Slowly, the light level lifted and they were back to sea lanterns and glowstone littering the walls randomly.

Their communicators were going off repeatedly and Keralis decided to check his while Xisuma led the way, vaguely listening to any minor comments from the admin.

<Stressmonster101> The lord of darkness?

<Tango> The lord of darkness?

<GoodTimesWithScar> Who’s the lord of darkness?

<Tango> Oh wait

<Tango> You guys ok?

More questions about The Lord of Darkness littered the chat, but Impulse, not Doc, had replied and that only worried him further. Nearly hitting a wall on their way down, he replied.

<Keralis> We’re fine but we’re going to the end to find evil xisuma

<Keralis> X said he probably has something to do with it

<Helsknight> DO NOT GO NEAR THE LORD OF DARKNESS

<Helsknight> I CAN HANDLE THAT MYSELF. DO NOT TRY TO STOP HIM.

<Welsknight> I’m afraid they already have, Helsknight.

Keralis’s eyes widened at the texts and finally, they made it to the portal. Before they went in, however, he tugged on Xisuma’s shoulder, stopping the other. Trying to pull up the previous messages, the chat only became more clogged when other Hermits were trying to contact Wels.

“What is it?” X huffed.

“Hels said not to try to stop The Lord of Darkness and….Wels replied to the chat.”

With a raised brow, Xisuma looked at Keralis’s communicator. He frowned. “Well, the more reason to find them, but I’m still gonna help.” He turned to the portal and without hesitation, he jumped into it.

Keralis groaned at the other’s antics. He honestly was starting to grow wary of his friend, but it was just stress he supposed. Like he told himself for the tenth time that minute. The admin also didn’t get much sleep, he knew. If anything, Xisuma probably got an hour or two after handling a few different responsibilities with Doc.

He sighed. He wasn’t doing anything to help by standing here. Following after Xisuma, he jumped into the portal as well, feeling the familiar soft end stone beneath his feet. Looking around, he didn’t see Xisuma but with a closer look into the sky, he spotted the familiar red armor and flew up to that.

Evil X couldn’t be that far away could he? The man was made in The End, he thought. In the void at least. He probably knew his way around the place like the back of his hand. Keralis wondered how far out he’s gone before and how far he went yesterday. Probably much more than they’ve gone. They’ve gone a few thousand blocks out but if Keralis knew anything about Evil X, it was that he liked a lot of space when he wanted to be alone.

He caught up with Xisuma, flying alongside him, not really starting any conversation. The moment was too tense for a conversation in his opinion so he stayed silent. The admin had coordinates displayed on his visor, probably leading him to his brother.

And about twenty thousand blocks out south seemed to do the trick when they found an old broken down end city draped in cobwebs. Near it over the void was a floating ship and that was where Xisuma led them.

Landing on the back near the steering wheel, it was no surprise when they saw Evil X sat against the first mast at the front of the boat, some other legs sticking out behind him. Keralis applauded Xisuma silently, making a proud expression at him. Briefly, the corners of X’s eyes crinkled but that left as soon as he started walking over to Evil X.

The counterpart, on the other hand, shuffled away from Xisuma a bit fearfully, guarding what he just assumed was Hels behind him.

“I’m not mad at you. I need your help,” Xisuma stayed blankly. He peered around Ex. “What’s going on over there?”

Ex shifted to show Hels, who was quite obviously not looking very healthy. His skin looked greyer than it usually seemed. “Um….I don’t know….” At his response, the knight only gave Xisuma a pained expression.

“What happened to Wels while you were there,” asked Hels. He winced at a random surge of pain in his stomach. “What did The Lord say to you.”

Xisuma crouched to examine the knight but Ex pushed him away.

“You said you’re not cleaning up my messes.”

Xisuma shook his head, not having any of it. He kept trying to do so again and again but huffed when Ex kept him away from Hels. “Fine, this is your mess! What did you do to Hels, then?”

Ex huffed as well. “I don’t know but I’m figuring it out. The Lord is here because I kept failing at my tasks.”

“Same here,” Hels added.

Xisuma dragged a hand down his visor with a groan. He felt surrounded by idiots.

“Hold on, all of this is happening because of you?!” Keralis asked from behind the admin, growing more frustrated. The man couldn’t believe that his friend was suffering mind controlled rage all because Evil X was on the server and he would not stand for it.

The counterpart ducked his head. “....Yeah, but it was probably inevitable. Though, Wels isn’t the only one going through it.”

Ignoring Keralis’s anger, Xisuma pushed further. “Who else is going through it?”

Ex looked up, meeting his eyes. “You are, Xisuma.”

[pbandjesse]

I did not sleep well last night and I was worried it would make today bad but honestly I had another really awesome day. I am so sad that tomorrow is the last day Ill be there until the summer. But also like. It feels good to feel so good at work again. 

But like I said. Sleep was bad last night. My back hurt really bad and I tried everything I know. Stretching, laying in the studio, laying on the couch. I just could not feel comfortable and I was super upset. I eventually fell asleep but it was way closer to 2am than I expected. 

So when my alarm went off I was very. Unhappy. But I got up and got dressed and honestly I felt good. Or at least good enough. James was kind enough to put air in the car tires so i wouldnt have to worry about it. And I was able to leave a little later today and still get to work before anyone else. 

I had a lovely day. It was cool but much less windy and I was much more comfortable. And it was really a great time. I got all the art supplies together, and put that all in the cabins. The kids got there pretty quick and we went up to the cabin before we headed to do some rope things. I am really lucky because this group is just so chill and kind. They have made this week such a great time and I just feel really lucky. They are just all so nice. 

When we got to the cabin we had a few minutes so we played a name game and they did a good job. They really "buy in" to the who hokey camp thing and it makes things so much nicer and more fun. And when we did the rope element they all worked so well together to encourage eachother. Just such excellent kids. 

We made an obstacle course for their field time. I tidied up the sports shed while the kids got the course ready. I had a lot of fun cleaning that up and when the kids ran their course I timed them and the best time was 38 seconds. It was so fun. 

We did lunch and I have to repack my food because I felt sick eating what I packed. I will go figure that out after I finish this up. When the kids were done with lunch I set up art supplies and they made paper collages. They love the idea of doing community projects together so they made a collage as a group. And the ones who wanted to do something else collected large sticks for our shelter building project tomorrow. Its supposed to rain tomorrow so we wanted to get all the wood on the porch so it wouldnt be wet and we could potentially use it for a camp fire. 

At some point we ended up talking about art school. And they had so many questions and we started talking about what critique does and how you can lead a conversation to get the info that is helpful. And that lead to talking about contemporary art and sculpture and my feels about museums and labels and it was so cute because they were asking great questions and responding so well. I honestly talked at them for almost a half hour. It was ridiculous and now they just want me to tell them "art stories" all the time. 

I also told them that a few years ago at MCAD camp the kids would play a game where they would just ask me to tell them about a topic and I would think of any of the fun facts I have in my mind on any thing they want to know about. So now thats going to be a thing Im sure. So far they have asked about chips and ships. They think it very funny that I have had so many different jobs and done so many different things. It is a very nice ego boost honestly. 

Me and Erin let them play in the gaga ball pit for a while. We just laid in the grass and talked for a while. I ended up explaining the entire bronze casting process to her. We talked about art school and games and just college in general. Shes really cool. Im glad we got paired up this week. She had some fun team building games for them to play, like a human knot and this funny one where they all stand on a tarp and have to figure out how to flip the tarp without stepping off of it. So that was very silly. 

We ended the day with rock climbing. I had them play a quiet game while they waited. And told them stories of my bike crash and working on the boats. I really like this group of kids. They told me today they hope they can be a group this summer and I really hope that can happen for them because they are all so sweet together. Honestly Im being spoiled with them. Excellent children. 

But I was still glad to be done at the end of the day. I got them all to pick up after snack. And then cleaned up before going to the office. 

There was some stress at the end of the day when we realized a visitor had done a hit and run on one of the staff's cars. So that was a whole upsetting thing. I hope it can be worked out. But it was time for me to go home. 

The drive felt long but it wasnt bad. I got home at 530 and was just really happy to be here. 

James was making me pasta because they are great. I was not feeling so great though. My sinuses hurt and my body ached. James held me on the couch for a little while. We had dinner. And I played a few minutes of animal crossing. But I was just tired so Ive been laying in bed since then. I think now I am just going to shower and get in bed. I really really hope I can just sleep tonight. Because tomorrow will be a lot. Because its going to storm. And Im leading the art programs. And like. Its gonna be fine. But also the rain makes me sleepy. So wish me luck. 

Also just as a final note. Today is 10 years since I made this blog. So thats exciting! Im not going to make a big to do about it because the actual day to day posts didnt start until August. So its exciting but mostly just a footnote. 

But now is time for sleep. Goodnight everyone. 

[ironxkid]

((I got sidetracked my looking at text messages on pinterest so uhhhhh I wrote out a few so have some text convos Carter would absolutely have under the cut dsfgkhjfsd - all but two are with her uni friends

anything bolded is Carter and anything italicized is whoever she’s speaking to - bolded and italicized is a third person!

also I’m gonna do a second part to this bc I don’t want this to get too long dfshjksdgfhj

part two is here

Carter - Reyna - Theo

Mufasa’s death scene made me cry again ITS OKAY REYNA HE’S NOT A REAL HORSE ITS JUST A CARTOON HORSE H O R S E ????? THEO WHAT HORSE???? IN MY DEFENSE IVE NEVER SEEN IT IT’S CALLED THE LION KING THEO IT’S THE LION KING NOT THE HORSE KING

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Mikey

i’ll talk to you in the moron tomorrow *melerint o *mornkng *mornkng *mornkng r u ok? i don’t even know man

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Cody

a theif thief? theif i before e except after c thceif no

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Ryan (absolutely them talking about work sdfghjfds)

see you in hell you asking me on a date? i accept no :(

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Mikey

can u call me hold on i’m finishing a pokemon battle i’ll be with you in a minute i’m taking away ur pokemon privlidges :[ no pls

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Cody

you streSs me out i stress myself out

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Theo

guess what Im about to get on my nerves :)

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Mikey

i’m sorry but i’ve been meaning to tell you this all day what is it? despaYEETo {marked as read}

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Reyna

do you wanna talk about aliens Carter it’s 2am

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Theo

name one mean thing i have done or said ever you convinced me eggs werent real

                                                              --------------------

Carter - Theo

i could strangle you you arent tall enough you’ve sunk low enough for me to reach

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Mikey

we’re friends right ...normally i’d say yes without hesitation  but i feel like this is headning somewhere and i’m not sure i like where okay because i’m about to test that

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Reyna

I LOVE YOUR DOG SO MUCH SHE’S SO CUTE IN YOUR SNAPCHAT STORIES What about me? you’re okay Thanks

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Reyna

Aren’t you supposed to be asleep? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m supposed to be a lot of things but i live to disappoint

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Theo

what if the g in gif is silent go the fuck to sleep what gif i don’t want to fuck off

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Tony

I’m being serious hi being serious Do not talk to me

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Theo

you make me so angry so quickly it’s remarkable OMG I LITERALLY SAID SIX WORDS yet here i am boiling with hate

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Ryan

compliment me you have eyes nice

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Ryan - Cody

I SAW  A CAT DUDE HOLY TOLITO DUDE A CAT DUDE??? no you furry A CAT, DUDE :[ carter’s a furry?? NO  :) it’s okay carter no judgement from us i hate both of you

                                                             --------------------

Carter - Tony

i feel like a science person a sciencer? scientist! a scientist Sciencer not my finest moment

[thegodshavehorns]

Capture the Wind (4/5)

Chapter 4: Zugzwang

You are on the road all night.

You watch the lit signs along the road pass by, the lights of the cars flashing red and white. It’s mid Leo and the night is warm and clear. You wonder where you’re going, but don’t want to ask your dad. You’re kind of angry at him. He’s trying to run away from the Seer, and he thinks you’re in danger. But you prayed a lot when you were still going to church and nothing bad ever happened. Your dad is full of shit, and you sit sullenly in the passenger seat, marinating in your resentment.

Your dad doesn’t talk much, and you fall asleep around 2am slumped over a duffel bag. Your sleep is troubled, but you don’t remember your dreams.

In the morning, you are in Canada.

Your dad pulls into the lot of an economy-size motel in a small town, and buys a room. You are exhausted and unhappy and have no trace of empathy for your dad. So what if he drove all night? He chose to do that. Today is Vantaday; you were supposed to go to karate lessons! You don’t even have a permission slip or anything.

You pick up a set of keycards with the receptionist, and drag your duffel and your dad’s suitcases to the second floor. As your dad fiddles with the key card, you pretend to be interested in the floral patterns on the walls. You are pretty sure the receptionist said the room only had one bed. This is going to suck.

When the door opens, the Seer is inside the room.

She has obviously dressed to impress. Her robe is billowing (did she set up a fan?), and she has sigils of Mind blazoned not just on her chest but down the sides of her leggings and on bracelets that attach to rings on her fingers. The blue-green outfit is accentuated by splashes of red, on the belt, the shoes, and the cuffs of her sleeves. Her wings, which you’ve only seen her spread a few times, practically fill the tiny motel room.

She tilts her head, and the red glasses flash. “Took you a long enough. Was the traffic that bad?”

Your dad is standing utterly still, one arm held to the out as though to shield you from the goddess. But this is stupid, you’ve talked with her plenty of times before. You don’t really like her, but you’re not scared of her, not anymore.

The Seer sighs. “You told yourself that this would work, didn't you? My friend Eridan would be livid. Mr. Egbert, I think you are underestimating how valuable your son is to us.”

Your dad does not respond, and she steps to the side, revealing a small table and some chairs. “Unless you want to talk still half-standing in the hallway, I would recommend coming inside.”

You look up at your dad. Slowly, he nods, and steps forward, but only just enough to let the door close behind him. “John,” he says. “You should stay out-”

“No, he shouldn’t,” interrupts the Seer. “It is important for him to be involved.”

A brief look of pain passes over your dad's face. “Please, Seer, he is only a-”

“God,” interrupts the Seer. “He is only a God.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and your dad pales.

The Seer smiles like a shark, and folds her hands on the carved head of her cane. “Oh, good, I have your attention. Now come in before I start to get irritated.”

----------------------

You sit at the table, looking at your dad and the Seer, who are standing. Your dad refuses to sit.

She is explaining your destiny.

“There is a method,” she says, “by which mortals become gods. A trial, of sorts. This trial is only viable for certain individuals, and your son is one of those. Some of my... cohort don’t feel that this method of ascension should be used, but its occurrence is both necessary and inevitable. And, this is the most important part, even though the trial is going to inevitably happen, it is not inevitable that it succeed. Your son may die in the attempt. And so I have, out of the desire to see this trial succeed, taken it upon myself to tutor your son in the necessary skills for ascending to godhood.”

“I will not let you put my son into danger.” Your dad is talking back to the Seer. He’s defying her. You know he’s an atheist but this is insane.

“Your son has already accepted his destiny." The Seer materializes a coin from nowhere and flips it. “It was his choice.”

Your dad looks at you, and you try to stare back as defiantly as you can. “My son is a minor. He can’t be held to this.”

“Well, if you’re going to talk legality, Mr. Egbert, I think you might find yourself out of your depth.” The Seer flips her coin. “You will find that there are loopholes regarding divine pacts and agreements in the laws and statutes of every country on this planet, and in those of most other planets within reach.

“In addition,” she continues. “I think you may have missed the part where I said that the occurrence of the trial is inevitable. In a sense, it has already happened. Surely you know that we gods created ourselves? So it is with John. He has already created himself, and so it is certain that he will face this trial. And neither you nor I nor any other force in this universe could prevent it.” The Seer leans on her cane. “With that in mind, know that I am here to help your son. If it’s his safety you are worried about, rest assured that I am here to make him immortal. With my help, your son will live to see stars birth and die, watch civilizations rise and fall. He will be praised and worshipped. His potential will be limitless. Isn’t that what any father would want?”

Your dad is very still. “How confident are you?”

“I know the trial will happen. I cannot guarantee its success, but training John under my wings is a decent way to hedge his bets.”

“Has it happened before?”

The Seer is impassive. “Not on this planet.”

“And when is this trial to occur?”

“When John is ready.” The Seer pauses. “You are already thinking that you can sabotage my efforts and delay the trial. You think that if you delay it long enough, the inevitable will not occur.” She shakes her head. “You would not be doing your son any favors, by interfering with his training.”

Your dad looks like he’s about to speak, but the Seer interrupts again. “You cannot outrun me, outwait me, or outwit me. Please don’t hurt yourself or John by trying.”

Your dad straightens. “I have conditions.”

The Seer smiles. “You are in no position to make demands, Mr. Egbert. All the same, I am willing to let John stay with you, and allow you to remain a family unit. I am willing to provide education and funds for the remainder of the time before the trial, as you and John may need them. But your final condition is misguided.”

“I will not allow you to keep hurting my son!”

The Seer flips her coin. “Mr. Egbert, I am not doing this because I enjoy hurting your son, much as he might think so. I am doing this because it will help him in his coming trials. Changing the methods of my training would be utterly beside the point. Now, if we’re done with that, you will find that SkaiaCorp has purchased a nice home for you in Calgary. You will be provided with furnishings.”

“Wait,” you interject. “We’re not going home?”

“Your home burned down last night,” the Seer says. “It is good you moved when you did. Not all the gods are as good at tracking as I am.”

Your dad slowly sinks into a chair. His expression is taut, lips pulled tight.

“I am glad we reached this understanding,” says the Seer. “Feel free to stay in this motel as long as you wish, but your new home will be waiting for you when you come out. And John,” she turns to you. “I hope you brought your hammer with you. We will be resuming our lessons tomorrow.”

She leaves, folding her wings to fit through the doorway. Your dad opens his bag and takes out his pipe. He lights it, and smokes silently for several long minutes.

Then he reaches over and hugs you, hard enough to compress your ribs. He smells of tobacco and very faintly of cake.

And all you can think about is that your computer was in your house, and all your movies.

This is going to suck.

----------------------

You stay in the motel for much longer than your dad originally paid for. You strife with the Seer in the parking lot, and attempt to play psion chess in your tiny room. Your dad applies ice packs to your bruises, and gives you clandestine but unhelpful hints about the chess until the Seer shoos him away.

When you are not with the Seer, you are bored out of your mind. You didn’t bring any books with you,  or video games, or magazines, or anything. The TV in the room is lame, but you watch it for hours with nothing better to do. Your dad won’t take you into town, won’t let you leave the motel. The Seer must have put the fear of Gods in him.

One day, your dad comes back from shopping. You watch as he takes out a small framed print of a clown and props it up on top of the TV, right next to grandma’s cookie jar of ashes. He smiles at you, his eyes sad, and you look away.

You are slowly going insane.

----------------------

The cane swipes overhead, and you duck and strike at the Seer’s knees. She jumps back and strikes low, before whipping the cane up and bashing your chin. Your teeth clack together and you reel back. You hope your teeth didn’t crack. She doesn’t usually aim for the face.

But you’re still standing, so the strife is still on. She strikes for your belly, and you answer without thinking, directing your blow not at her, but at her cane.

The cane is only light wood, and it splinters.

The Seer holds the broken cane for a moment, then grins wryly. “Not a bad idea, shortening my reach. But now the end is sharp.”

That’s not good. “What? You’re not going to…”

“Are you certain?” Her voice is low. “How can you be sure of what your enemy will or won’t do?” She takes a step forward. “How can you be sure you haven’t bitten off more than can fit down your throat?”

“We’re not enemies! That’s not why you’re even here!”

“Are you certain?”

“I don’t know!” Your teeth hurt and your chin is bleeding a little and you’re losing your temper. “How am I supposed to know what I’m supposed to do? I can’t beat you!”

“That’s a defeatist attitude, John. What’s wrong?” She takes out a coin and flips it. Are you done strifing, for now?

“Are you really asking what is wrong?” You gesture angrily with the hammer. “You should know; you know everything!”

She flips the coin. “John, whether or not you are frustrated, bored, or lonely must have no bearing on your martial ability. An enemy will take advantage of you, when you are weak.” She lifts the broken, sharp-pointed cane. “Defend yourself, John.”

But you’re not looking at her. You’re looking at the coin. She’s still flipping it, even as she steps forward to strife. Is this some kind of handicap on herself, to make up for the sharp cane?

You decide to strike first, and she blocks your hammer, unerring as usual. She strikes, and you move to block, but of course it’s a feint, and then the sharp end of the cane rips your sleeve. She’s playing with you, not even breaking skin.

She flips the coin, you strike, she blocks, one-handed. Even with the handicap, she outclasses you in every way.

The coin lands, face-up, and an odd impulse occurs to you. You strike left, and she blocks.

She flips. The coin lands, face-down, and you strike right. She blocks.

You watch the coin as you strife, giving the Seer a lesser degree of attention. She rips your pant leg, your shirt collar, then scratches a shallow cut on your forearm. You ignore it. Face-up. Left. Face-down. Right. Face-down. Right.

Face-up. Left, and she is a moment slower in blocking.

Face-down. Right, and you-

The sound is a dull thud traveling up your arm. And the Seer drops her cane, cradling her hand where you hit her.

“Shit.” You say. “Shit, gods, Seer, I’m sorry-”

She lifts her head, then bares her teeth in something that can’t possibly be a smile, can it?

“Don’t apologize.” She reaches for the cane with her other arm. “Let’s see if you can do that again.”

Your arms are shaking from exhaustion. This is probably the longest strife you’ve had yet. And now she’s not flipping the coin, how can you-

You continue your strife, she draws more blood, shallow cuts and scrapes, and you’re faltering, hoping she just ends this without poking your eye out. You wonder whether she would consider that a just punishment, for landing a hit on her.

There is a strong breeze going, and the Canadian flag is flapping in the wind. You decide to use it as an ersatz coin. If it’s flapping toward you, left, if it’s flapping away, right.

You strike left, left, left, right, right- and strike the goddess in the breastbone with a dull smack.

She staggers back, coughs, gasps. Then, she laughs.

“Oh! Gosh, oh fuck, are you okay?” You are freaking out. This is not okay.

Her laughter turns into coughing. “Go back inside, John,” she croaks. “Good work today.”

You do not feel good about this. You can’t just leave her sitting in the parking lot with possibly broken ribs! “Will you be-”

“GO 1NS1D3.”

You haven't heard her use the Tinge since you first met. You go inside.

----------------------

It’s only that night, after your dad has put unnecessary bandages on all your scrapes (which really aren’t that bad), while you’re lying awake in bed, that you realize she’s never said ‘good work’ to you before.

Does that mean you're getting closer to becoming a god, like her? You've been trying not to think about that part, about what that might mean, or what the 'trial' might be like. You imagine being forced to fight duels against powerful opponents, or to play chess against some kind of crazy-advanced 5th-dimensional computer. You toss and turn on the hide-a-bed, and as you fall into a troubled sleep, your theoretical opponents become shadowy, cackling, horned figures wielding rolled-up posters as swords, and in your half-dreaming state, behind the blackness of sleep, you see for once the faintest hints of gold...

----------------------

Two days pass, and the Seer does not return. Your dad buys another clown picture, and hangs it over the hide-a-bed. This motel room is starting to make you sick.

You are planning your escape.

By which you mean, you are not planning it. You know her weakness, now. She knows what you think, and what you choose. But she doesn’t know what you don’t think and what you don’t choose.

So you’re not going to think. You are not going to plan, you are not going to prepare, and you are going to leave your route up to chance. You are going to flip two coins, whenever you need to decide where to go. Head-Head, you go right. Tail Tail, you go left. Head-Tail, you keep straight.

You can’t tell your dad. He’d probably try to stop you. But he’s recently bought an EZ Bake oven and keeps trying to make muffins, so you can probably sneak out without him noticing.

You are leaving the room. Your dad should be busy with late-night baking, so you’re fine, you’ll be-

“Son.”

Shit. What is he doing out in the hall?

“Dad?” you ask. “What are you doing out here?”

Your dad smiles, and lifts a plastic bag. “I didn’t get quite enough chocolate at the store. I could have gone back, but I thought, ‘The vending machine has chocolate bars. I'll just get those.’ And that's what I did.”

“Oh.” You shove your hands in your pockets and fiddle with your two coins.

Your dad holds his hand out, proffering a chocolate bar. “I got an extra one for you.”

“That’s okay, Dad. I am not hungry.” You’re really not. Your stomach is fluttering and you don’t feel at all like eating.

Your dad wiggles the bar. “Chocolate is good for your heart, you know.”

You snort. “Pff. Yeah right.”

“It’s scientifically proven. Are you going to argue with science?”

“Dad, I’m fine.” How are you going to get out of this?

“It’s also scientifically proven that kids your age argue with their parents whenever possible.” Your dad is still smiling, but the expression is slightly more melancholic than before. “John, take the chocolate.”

You give your dad your most skeptical look, and he sighs.

“You can talk to me, you know. That’s what I’m here for.”

Oh crap. Not another Talk. This is not what you need right now. Time to parry the conversation. “What is there to talk about?”

Your dad reaches forward to touch the scab on your chin from the recent strife.

“Maybe stuff like that,” he says. “Or maybe the bruises that don’t show on your skin.”

You step back, avoiding his hand and taking your hands out of your pockets to shield yourself. “There is nothing to talk about. You know what’s going on now.”

Your dad nods. “I know this must be hard for you, Son. Kids aren’t meant to deal with things like this. She's trying to control our family and your future, and it's wrong.”

You mumble; “I can handle it,” and your dad affixes you with a Look.

“Dad, what do you expect me to say?” You are getting irritated now,and you groan in exasperation. “Augh, it’s, look, talking to her is no big deal. That is not a problem.”

“And the fighting?” Your dad's voice is quiet.

“That isn't a problem either. It’s nothing.” You are lying, and from the way your dad is looking at you, you’re beginning to wonder if the Seer isn’t the only mind reader around.

“Son.” Your dad leans down, looks you in the eye. “She drew blood on you. That’s not nothing.”

He’s right. You look to the side, away from him, at the cheap floral print wallpaper of the motel. “I… think I might have hurt her.”

Your dad puts down the plastic bag, then reaches into it and takes out another chocolate bar, adding it to the first. “Well done.” Then, he puts a hand on your shoulder, gently, to not aggravate the bruising. “But if this is bothering you, then we should talk about it.”

Argh. You knew you shouldn’t have said anything. You are STUPID stupid.

“I’m not bothered,” you say, chewing on your lower lip.

“You are bothered."

“Dad, I'm not, it's just... I dunno, it is weird and strange and I don't know how I'm supposed to act or feel. At all. I do not know what I am supposed to do. Argh. It's like, I don't know. It's dumb. I just can't figure out what she wants from me.” You lower your voice, not even sure if you should be saying this next part, hoping that she can’t hear you thinking it. "I don’t really like her. And I do not think she wants me to like her. But I didn't like hurting her, either."

Your dad gestures vaguely near his face, and you get the feeling that he’d like to have a pipe there. “Well. At least I don’t have to worry about my son getting a crush on a goddess.”

“Dad, please. I am serious.”

“I’m serious too. You don't understand, being a kid, but that would be a real headache. Who would you ask for a blessing, for one? She made herself, so is she her own mother and father?”

You roll your eyes so far back that your eyeballs hurt. “Okaaaaay, Dad!”

Your dad is grinning like a cat. “At least fall in love with a regular alien, if you decide to go that route. They might have funny numbers of eyes and arms, but at least I would know what to do when the in-laws are over.”

“DAD.”

“SON.”

You throw your hands up in exasperation. “What do you want from me?”

He abruptly stops smiling. “I want you to be happy. And I will defy any god who stands in the way of that.”

“Well, that sure didn't make a difference with the Seer!” you snap. It comes out a lot harsher than you meant it to, and you can see immediately that your dad is hurt.

“You’re right,” he says, softly. “I’m sorry, John. I failed you.”

That makes you really uncomfortable to hear, and you put your hands back in your pockets. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I’m just saying, it probably doesn’t matter what you do to try and stop her, she’ll do it anyway.”

“Maybe she lied,” says your dad. “It’s been known to happen. Maybe it’s not inevitable, this thing she is training you for.”

“Maybe.” That’s what you’re banking on. You broke her prophecy about your dad, after all. “She doesn’t know everything.”

Your dad arches a brow. “Oh?”

You nod. “Yeah. That’s how I hurt her. I found something she couldn't predict.”

“A blind spot, you could say?” your Dad proffers, and you groan. “And what is this ‘something?’”

You pause. You can’t afford to let your ace slip from your sleeve. “I don’t want to say it out loud. Or even think about it a lot.  It is all I have right now.”

Your dad makes that gesture again, like he’s reaching for his pipe. “I see. So what are you planning to do, if you can’t think about it?”

You clutch the coins tightly in your pockets. You could lie to your dad, but at this point you just… really want someone on your side. You are so lonely.

“I’m going to run.” And, at the shocked look on your dad’s face, you continue hurriedly, wanting to explain, not giving him the chance to scold you for being stupid. “I feel like I have to. She hasn't been back in a few days, so now's my chance. And anyway, like you said, since she doesn't know everything, maybe she's wrong about the trial, too.”

Your dad looks solemn. “John, is that what you were going to do, when you bumped into me?”

You look away, “No. I mean, yes.”

“Weren’t you going to bring anything with you?”

“I… didn’t want to think too much about it.”

You glance back at your dad. His lips are sealed tight, but his eyes look soft, almost sad. Is he going to punish you? Send you back into the motel room?

Then, he whips out his wallet, and hands it to you.

“Dad?

“Use the credit cards only if you absolutely have to. They could use them to track you, so use the paper money for what you need. You have five thousand dollars in cash. Budget it."

You take the wallet, eyes wide. You didn’t know what you expected, but it sure wasn’t this. “Dad???”

Your dad is grabbing you by the shoulders, marching you forward. You don’t push back or resist, absolutely flummoxed. He’s still talking. “Don’t withdraw more than a thousand dollars at one location. Don’t go into any churches. Don’t talk to anyone wearing a sigil.”

You are outside the motel, in the parking lot. Your dad turns you around and hugs you, squeezing your shoulders so hard it would hurt even without the bruises.

He lets go of you, not waiting for you to hug him back. “Now go.”

You don’t have time to say anything, no thank yous or goodbyes. He’s already gone into the motel. You’re holding his wallet in one hand, your coins in the other.

You nod, even though he can’t see it. You breathe. Then you turn, and run.

[snazzamazing]

Most of you have noticed already but there has been a huge lack of me posting recently. I have been having one of the most toughest artist times for a while. I've in this mood where I would be having major art block bit lots of motivation at the same time. When those two moods combine into one, it just makes one big mess of chaotic emotions. It's been going on for a long time. I'm stuck with my art at the moment. I'm just going to come clean and say it but doing art lately has been feeling like a tight and complicated stressful schedule for me. For months and months I've been having a mindset where I feel like I NEED to be posting constantly because I fear that if I dont, people would leave me. I fear that my account would just die and that my content wouldn't be relevant anymore. I hate that feeling. My art has been seeming like it's only meant to be posted to show that I'm active. My text posts or me answering questions now made me realize that I'm not even doing those for fun anymore! I'm only posting them to let people know that I'm still here. It really does seem like I'm working for some big company and that I have to post my work constantly and have to make sure it's all coming out perfectly, and its stressful. Now this is nobody's fault, this is just how I feel now.

I like to look back at some really old posts/art of mine to remember what it was like to feel more free. I miss the feeling of not caring about people's opinions on my interests. I miss the feeling of posting whatever I wanted and posting whenever I wanted. I want to go back to that and I am for sure going to work hard on getting back to that. I've honestly have been so scared to post art now. I miss posting about ships I like, about stupid comics, about my silly fnaf ideas, about my other interests but people's judgments and opinions all of a sudden matter to me now. It has started being that way ever since my account started getting bigger and bigger. I would get attacked for bringing up a thing I like or a thing I'm into and it really scared me and made me not want to share my opinions or interests ever again. I absolutely despised constantly having that feeling. That all ends now. I want to be down to earth with everyone because ya know, I'm human too.

Okay now let's talk about what I wanna do with my art. My art has been feeling repetitive and bland to me. I dont want that. For the past time I would mention stuff like "posting this soon!" Or "get ready for a new post Tomorrow!" And then never post it ever. Why? Because plans dont work out all the time. I only post art I'm satisfied with so if my art takes forever to post or just gets cancelled on posting then that's that. I do feel bad, but I'd rather have art up that makes me happy too. The fnaf 2 art I said that I was gonna post? Yeah, not happening. It's not turning out as I wanted so sorry for missing out on the fnaf 2 anniversary:(

Speaking of fnaf, I am still going to continue drawing it. But I've been wanting to draw other content too for the longest time. The reason why I dont post other content more is because nobody is interested in it. It doesnt get as much attention as my fnaf art. That used to not bother me but the thing is I cant keep doing fnaf content forever so I care now. I want to post more about my ocs and their wacky world. I want to post about other fandoms, even fandoms that I'm not even into! I have been dging to post overwatch but held back on that because the whole blizzard controversy happened and I was scared that people would hate me to post overwatch at such a bad timing like that. I've been into overwatch for years and have been wanting to post art about it but didnt because I was very self conscious on my human style. But now that I figured it out, things went all over the place. For those of you who dont know, I've also had an overwatch blog years ago but deleted it later cause I didnt like how the blog turned out. I am going to post overwatch art in the future cause ive enjoyed the game for years now. What blizzard did was terrible and I'm not on board with it so please dont hate me, I just really like the OW characters. ANYWAY, I WAS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AND RANTED OFF TRACK BUT YEAH. I WANT TO EXPAND MY ART A LITTLE.

And last thing. I've said it before, but I HATE feeling like my art has to be on a schedule where theres deadlines and where I have to post constantly. I'm having mini burnouts. So to all those people who sent messages about me not posting anymore or about my account dying, I want to let you know that my account is still alive and will have posts. Please understand that if I am taking forever to post something new, I am trying to figure things out. I am trying to figure out time management for school and art. I am trying to figure out things on my art style. I am trying to figure out new ideas for big projects I wanna do. I am trying to figure myself out and I dont need to be rushed. I am an artist and I am free to do what I want and post whenever I want. Art is for fun and for stressing myself out.

THERE, THERE I FINALLY RANTED IT ALL OUT. It was an extremely long rant, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Again, nobody is at fault here and nobody is forcing my wack behavior to be like this, it's just some thoughts I need to get out of my head. You are all important and matter to me so I have to be honest with everyone. I cant keep hiding away. I'm just some teen wacko girl that wants to draw characters and be friends with you cool weirdos :)

Love you all💖

Edit: I am so sorry if my rant made no sense and is all over the place or if it somehow upset people, that wasnt my intent. Its 2am and I'm all panicky so I had to rant sO THAT I CAN SLEEP

[sadistic-second]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

SPEED: What is speed? I’d like to believe things are done as quickly as possible. Written word says that I’m pretty quick about things, 1-3 days tops. But if you’ve ever actually heard be vocalize my “speed” then well. :fingerguns: I’m a lazy piece of shit. So, that being said, depending on motivation levels that I currently possess, that reveals the speed in which I operate things here. But a good baseline is still 1-3 days.

REPLIES: For starters, I use thread tracker for all the threads I currently possess. And if I haven’t replied to something then I sincerely apologize. I am not ignoring you. I either fucked up tracking it (which I’ve done before) or something happened to the tracker itself. I know it had some issues recently. Can’t recall if it got fixed or not, but I know for a fact it fucked some of my replies up. 

On that note, if I have taken longer than seven (7) days to reply to something, hit me up. Let me know. Either the tracker or I fucked up and I need to be told. As stated above, I usually take 1-3 days to reply to things. So if it has been at least that long and you’re still waiting on me for something, chances are the above happened. 

You’d never know it by looking at the lengths of most (all?) my roleplays here, but I am a novella roleplayer at heart. Love me some details, bro. Setting scenes, getting the atmosphere just right, making sure you know for a fact what I’m doing at any given moment. Why? I dunno. That has a story in and of itself that will not be disclosed here. 

But don’t let that discourage you. I am adaptable and I can be flexible to what my partner needs/wants. Will I get carried away sometimes? Absolutely. Do you have to panic and try and match? Not at all. You do you. I’ll do me. We’ll work it out, don’t worry.

STARTERS: Don’t at me, I already know I’m stepping into a baited trap. 

Starters are nice. However, they take time to write and think up. That being said, if I’m writing it, you best believe it's tailored to you specifically. Though I do enjoy at least a basic idea discussion beforehand so I know what direction I’m supposed to take this, I can wing that shit like no tomorrow. Again, not that anyone would know since I haven’t exactly, uh . . . Done it yet. Rest assured, I have the list. I will be doing something eventually. 

You can also tag me in starters if you want. I’ll notice and I’ll get the idea and we can go from there. If it's just something you came up with outta the blue or it's from an ask or whatever, all fine by me. I’m pretty much open to any and all ideas.

INBOX: Ahahah, my inbox. Yes. That motherfucker. Look. I have at least one meme queued for every single day up until the first week of August. Not quite sure what possessed me to do this, but you know. At least you’ll always at least have one thing to choose from to send me every day. Old memes, new memes, random ass shit you just thought of at 3am because you figured I’d like it, send that in. I’ll answer it.

Sure, okay, yeah. I’ve currently got week old memes sitting in there right now. And there are at least month old memes sitting in my drafts that I haven’t posted yet. Doesn’t mean I won’t answer them. Just gotta wait for that good ol’ inspiration to kick in. 

Oh, and I hear Tumblr still eats things. So if you’ve sent me something and its been quite a while and you haven’t seen an answer, chances are I never saw it. I sincerely apologize. Send it again. Send something new. Eventually, I’ll see it. Tumblr can’t eat everything, right?

SELECTIVITY: What is selectivity? I’d write with a sentient stuffed animal if it had a good enough idea. Yes, I’m very aware of what that sounds like. Does that make me any less of a person, a writer, because I said that? Fuck no. I am more than willing to give anyone and everyone a chance provided you aren’t cringey.

Oh but Asher, what does that last bit even mean? Don’t be fucking weird. That’s all I ask. If you’ve got an idea, come to me with it and we’ll work something out. Don’t have an idea? We’ll talk about it. I will roleplay with you. I am by no means selective. 

WISHLIST: OH BOY! A WISHLIST!

Although, I suppose this would be where I’m supposed to give you some semblance of ideas or stories that I would like to give a shot at. :fingerguns: What is creativity? I will admit that I like to spout out about how creative I am and shit. However, put me on the spot and I will go blank and make myself a fucking liar.

I’ll give you some hints though. Love me some angst. I am one angsty boy. Do your absolute worst. It takes a lot to make me feel things and only two people have managed to get me to the point of tears thus far in my Tumblr career. If you think you got what it takes, bring it on.

I’m still exploring Reno’s drug habit(s). So I guess that’s sort of a wish list idea?

I want an excuse to be sadistic. My fucking name is literally sadistic-second and I cannot recall an opportunity in which I have gotten to display that true nature. I think I’ve hinted at it before? I know there are a couple shorts that I’ve written floating around. I think you can find them under “Asher writes” and uh . . . Fuck, what was that other one I wrote recently? “Raw meat” brings it up in the search so there’s that, too.

So those are kind of wish list ideas? I guess? 

HONEST NOTE: :dogekek: Bold of you to assume I have anything else left in me to put here. Nah, but like it was 2am when I wrote this. And you’re seeing it now at whatever the fuck time my queue put it at. Early morning, I know that. 

I’ve done a lot of changing, a lot of growing up in the last year or so. Big life changes happened and well. You gotta adjust or ya kinda sink. And boy did I sink. But I’m back now. I’m better. I’m getting the hang of things once again. 

No, but like what the fuck is supposed to go here? Oh, wait. I have an idea.

You guys want a better way to communicate with me? Ask for my discord. Tumblr messages are great and all, but uh . . . You’re more likely to get more out of me on discord than you are Tumblr. Why? I dunno. I’m always on discord. I’m kind of on Tumblr? Granted, I’m always on both places, but discord is where its at, man.

TAGGED BY: @that-turk-laney

TAGGING: Uh. Steal it, fam

[justkending]

2am Library Finds. (One-Shot)

Summary: You’re a student worker at the campus library and are tasked in closing up that night. Not anything out of the ordinary, but when two tall model like men come waltzing in moments before closing, you experience the charm of the shorter of the two. 

A/N: Had this thought in mind since I am at the library constantly on campus, and what better way to share it than make a one-shot! Also, I read it’s NATIONAL FANFIC WRITER APPRECIATION DAY, so I thought I would post this little fic:) PLEASE, enjoy and let me know what you think! (Also imagine a young Dean who’s around the college age.) (The characters written about, are not my own. Copyright goes to Supernatural and Warner Brothers.)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Word Count: 1700+

Late Night Library Stop

“You sure you’re ok with closing up Y/N?” your boss said hesitantly as she threw her purse over her shoulder, and grabbed some paperwork. “I don’t want to put it on you if you don’t feel ok doing it alone. You never know who could-”

“I’ll be fine Elaine. I’ve done it before.” you giggled putting your book down to look at her better. “Plus, not a lot of loons come into the library late at night. I’m sure there's more exciting places to be crazy.”

“You’re not wrong, but I just want to-”

“It’s ok. Really! I promise. Plus I have Wayne here. He’ll keep an eye on me.” you said pointing to your security guard friend who waved back sweetly before turning back to scope out the place again. 

“Ok. Call if you need anything then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” she waved walking toward the door.

“See you tomorrow.” you waved going back to your book. 

You worked on the campus’s library, and all that it was full of at the moment were probably around 30 kids scattered studying their hearts out for classes and tests. Nothing different from the norm. 

Not many people tended to need your help since everything was online now. Your job was to basically help people find old books if a specific class asked them to do research over it, and make sure the place didn’t get too hectic with the multiple students coming in and out. 

It was an easy job, and you liked it considering your love for learning new things. You always had a new book in hand when you came in. Something your boss, Elaine, loved about you, and made her immediately hire you. 

Tonight was going like any other, until about 20 minutes before closing. With your nose in your book, and little to none students there now, you didn’t notice the two men that walked in scouting out the place. 

“Excuse me ma’am?” 

You looked up and saw two handsome giants in front of you with soft smiles plastered on their faces. 

“Yes?” you asked putting down the book and looking at them.

“We, uh, we were wondering if you had a book on the greek goddess Hecate?” the taller of the two asked. 

“Greek Gods?” you asked confused why at almost 2 in the morning they were asking about this. 

“Yeah, the goddess Hecate. She’s the god of-” he continued.

“Goddess of witchcraft. Yeah, I know who she is.” you laughed slightly, and doggy earing your book before standing. “I’m sure we have something on it, but let me double check the archives.”

You straightened your very oversized sweatshirt you had on, and moved over to the other side of the desk where the computer was. You hadn’t noticed, but the eyes of the shorter of the two was watching your every move. 

“You into the greeks?” he asked as they followed you, and you looked up sharing a soft smile with him. In the instant, realizing he had bright green eyes. 

“Um, well. I know about them, but I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed or anything.” you shrugged looking back at the computer and typing in the little information you had. “It’s an interesting world though.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” the taller one chuckled elbowing his friend. You caught him sending him a glare and then mouthing something that looked like ‘cut it out.’ The other just cringing at the pain and mouthing back, ‘I’m not doing anything.’ only making the shaggy haired one roll his eyes before looking at you. 

“You two do realize its 2 in the morning right?” you laughed under your breath standing from the desk and coming around the corner to move to where you found the book. 

“Uh, yeah. We forgot about-” green eyes started. 

“A test we have tomorrow. In greek studies.” the other finished for him. 

They followed you to the back where you kept the older books, and you took the lead feeling eyes on you the whole time. 

“Really? I didn’t realize we offered a course like that here.” you said turning around slightly to shoot them a confused look before walking forward again. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s new. They just started it this semester.” he quickly covered. 

“Interesting. I’ll have to check it out” You said intrigued knowing something was off with these two. “Ok, here we are.” you said pointing to a shelf before grabbing two books. “There’s only two things on her, but we have a lot on a lot more well known goddesses if you-”

“These should be good. Thank you.” the tall one said taking them and smiling as if he had a mission he needed to get to. 

“Ok…” you dragged out. “I’ll be at the front desk if you want to check them out. Fair warning we close in 15 minutes.” you said walking by with a raised eyebrow.

“Wait up!” green eyes shouted running after you, but you didn’t stop walking only slowed down so he could match your pace. You heard his friend yell a soft, ‘Dean’ toward him as if to tell him to leave you alone, but he didn’t listen.  “What’s, uh, What’s your name?” he said sounding almost nervous.

“Why you asking wonder boy?” you sassed sending him a side look with a smile. 

That seemed to not be an answer he got that often because there was complete shock written on his face. 

“Well, uh, I guess you could just say I’m curious as to why a beautiful young lady like you works in a drab place like this?” he said as if he had rehearsed this multiple times in the mirror.

“Oh, and is that a line you use on every girl you meet in the library?” you said chuckling and crossing your arms as you turned to him. 

“Well, no, but-”

“Hmmm, but. That’s what I was waiting on.” you said shaking your head and grabbing a few books to put back as he continued to follow you around.

“Now hear me out.” he said with a smirk as he came around to be in front of you. “Most librarians I meet are old, cranky, people who just want to be left alone to read at a desk. You’re the opposite.”

“Well first off. Not a librarian. I’m a student here that just happens to have a job in the library. Second, who says I don’t want to be left alone reading at a desk right now.”

“Ok, good point.” he laughed nodding his head as he walked by you again. You put a few books on a shelf and moved to the next one. “You said you’re a student here?” you nodded continuing your job. “What are you studying?”

“I can ask you the same.” 

“Mythology.” he said without hesitation making it more believable. “Your turn.”

“Global Studies.” you said with a grin. 

“Wow. That’s some smart stuff.” he breathed out looking at you almost harder now. “You don’t seem like-”

“Apparently I don’t seem like a lot of things to you, Dean.” you sassed. “Why all the assumptions, hmm?” you said raising your eyebrows at him before walking away again.

“How did you know my name?” he said coming up beside you once again. 

“You’re friend said it. I assume in a way to try and make you leave me alone, but we saw how that went.” you chuckled.

“You’re sassy. You know that?” he laughed as you went back to the desk and grabbed your book getting comfortable at your chair again.

“Library closes in 10 minutes Dean. I think you should get your book, and check out if this test is so important.” you said with a smile subtly on your mouth, but looking down at the book. 

“Sure thing sweetheart. One thing first.” you looked up at the confident comment. “What’s your name?”

“Why do you want to know?” 

“Cause you’re cute, and I may want to see more of you.” he said leaning on the counter now with his hands. 

“Not a good enough reason.” you shrugged going back to the book. 

“Ok, wait! Can I buy you coffee then?” he asked, pulling the book down so that you would look at him again. 

You gave him a look of thought as you tried mapping how this would play out. 

“Coffee on campus or off?”

“Anywhere you want.”

“Good. Cause the coffee shop on campus sucks. Place down the street is 10x better.” you said putting the book down completely and leaning on your elbows toward him. 

“So does that mean I get a name?” Dean asked hopefully.

“Hmmm, we’ll see how I feel after coffee.” you shrugged. “I guess I can close up early since it’s just you and your friend.”

“He’s my brother actually. Sam.”

“Oh, well there he is right now.” you said nodding behind him where an annoyed Sam was coming to you to.

“Dude leave the girl alone. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be bothered by you-”

“She’s already agreed to coffee.” Dean said proudly cutting off his brother. 

“You don’t have to you know.” Sam said looking at you. 

“Oh don’t worry. I’m making him work for it. Plus, I’m only really doing it cause I need a caffeine fix, and I’m broke right now.” you semi-whispered to him getting a laugh out of him and a pout from Dean.

You turned to Wayne who was watching closely, and waved at him. 

“I’m locking up early Wayne. You’re good to go!”

“You sure Miss?” he yelled. 

“Yeah, thanks for sticking around. I got it from here.” you smiled. 

He nodded hesitantly, and made his way out. You locked all the doors, and headed out the last one locking it behind you with the two brothers close by.

“I’m going to head back to the room, and do my research. You two had fun.” Sam waved. “Nice meeting you.” 

“Nice meeting you too! Hey!” you shouted making him turn around. “Your bothers not going to kill me is he?”

“No, but if says something stupid you have my permission to kick is ass.” he shouted back making you laugh, and Dean roll his eyes. 

“Noted.” you turned back to Dean. “I just want to let it be known, I do know how to kick ass, so don’t try anything stupid.”

“Noted.” he retorted back as you both began walking to the good coffee shop. “So you still not going to tell me your name?”

“There isn’t a coffee in my hand, so nope. Not yet.”

“Damn. You really are making me work for it.” he laughed shaking his head.

“Where’s the fun in easy?” you said bumping his shoulder.

“You got me there.” he laughed bumping you back.

My lovelies forever:

@shamelesslydean @sleepless-sin  @sandlee44 @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition@spnwoman@ravengirl94 @carryonmywaywardcaptain @ezilyamuzed@thosekidswhohuntmonsters@anise-d-castle6 @tailsoflightning @spookycowz  @snffbeebee @angelessquirrel @deans-baby-momma@natura1phenomenon @tftumblin @gh0stgurl@screechingartisancashbailiff@herscrunchiehairtie@dreaminemz  @monkeymcpoopoo@a-girl-who-loves-disney@andthatsmyworld @greenarrowhead@savio-the-depressed-moose @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @greyeyedsmile14 @adoptdontshop-blog @casper57 @traceyaudette@rainflowermoonlibrary@luciathewinchestergirl@almostelegantfire @thefaithfulwriter @the-is13@kaz11283@jerkbitchidjitassbutt @squirrelgirl67@jackles-15 @lauravic @deansgirls-1968 @a–1–1–3  @spnbaby-67@deannotmoose @naomi02hook@were-not-the-losechesters @lilulo-12

Tags are open: SHOOT AN ASK!

[ghostfruits]

hey can i ask a personal question for the members of ghostfruits; how do u guys personally deal with suicidal ideation and self harm? i notice that theres alot of mentions of death/depression/suicide/etc in your comics, and im a huge fan of you guys and im currently struggling with my own demons and thought I would ask. i hope this isnt too intrusive, feel free to ignore me.. - a suicidal, depressed fan.

i know we’re in public rn but i’m gonna just talk to u like a person, real quick. im going to talk to u like i would have if u were like in front of me

its like 2am and so im worried i might not be as lucid as i think. im sorry in advance if this is like, whole gibberish

im gonna speak for just myself, as the the person who is most often inserting specifically that kind of shit into our work, but definitely not like, the only person on this side like massively struggling with a similar variety of things

i dont know

a lot of people seem to be making work about problems they Used To have, and like ways they Used To feel, and like overcame, and then it becomes safe for them to make like, art about it. like the turmoil happens behind the scenes and then they like open up abt it publically after the fact via art. or at least like thats what im seeing happen, or like, ppl talk abt like "i made this bc it would have helped me figure my shit out sooner if someone had made s/t like this for me" and the like, probably dissappointing truth of it here is i'm bleeding in like real time. i dont have solutions to it. you and me are both in the immediate thick of the same kind of emotion. i didnt manage to puzzle it out. when i was 9 i started feeling like i wanted to kill myself and im 25 and ive wanted that, still, the entire time. i dont all the way know why its like that. sometimes i used to think it was like, a reaction to specific kinds of hardship or loss or dissatisfaction with my circumstances, but lately ive been worried that maybe good things or good times or good feelings are just like, distracting me from something that is my Actual desire, that being dead is the path im just like occassionally straying from. when i say that out loud i have a really easy time imagining a second person telling me that isnt a healthy thing to be saying or feeling, which usually means it isnt, but thats like, really how i am feeling, that is really where i am at with it. that probably means i dont have any business directing another persons like, outlook on it

so

while i cant tell you how to live with it, or cope with it, or manage it, bc im not doing any of those things, i can tell you really confidently that i dont think you should be dead, and you're being misdirected by either yourself or the world or like something else altogether into thinking thats the key that fits into whatevers in front of you. i know i dont know you, but i know like, a lot of people, and iv never felt like any of them should be dead. ive never met anybody who i thought itd be like fine if they died. theres people im hugely indifferent to, theres people i hate, there are people who have hurt me or others enormously and ive still never thought in earnest like "this persons best plan of attack i think is to kill themselves"not like anybody. not like anybody ever. iv said some fucking wild shit abt niggas but iv never said that, and i cant imagine ever saying it. or thinking it, or feeling it. i dont imagine youd be like an exception to that

thats easy to say, but, im not the person who has to live with it tho. thats easy to say to you but you still have to wake up tomorrow and live out whatever has got you so fucked up you're at like, a death point with it, and if youre coming here to ask abt it, youve probably exhausted a lot of other options already ill bet. and its like, probably wack as fuck to meet like another dead end here too. i dont know if youre still reading this even. i probably wouldnt be. iv had madd niggas hem and haw at me forever abt "temporary problems permanent solutions" and then just like shuffle me out of their office or living room or whatever and expect im not supposed to like pop myself on their doorstep. niggas acting like im fucking playing. like i got it out of my system bc we had one conversation and now im supposed to go eat lunch and be regular. idk. id be very mad at me, if i were you. i dont know if you are, but i wouldnt blame you for that. the reason i say all this is to articulate like;its possible that after hitting another roadblock here, youll feel like, "ok then fuck it" and like set your sights on just like, doing it. like bc i didnt have any jewels for u it would like reinforce it maybe. i would like u to consider this tho;

theres MADD niggas smarter than me. i was extremely useless to you just now. this is not like the pinnacle of help you're ever going to get. the answers you need for this exist even if youve already turned over a dozen rocks and theyve all been like, as useless, as this, tht has like absolutely no bearing on if the next rock will have useless shit under it. every single time u flip a coin it has the exact same chance of going one way or the other. this like did not have the medicine u need in it but the main thing i would want to stress to u is that it *does* exist and uve just had like a supremely shitty time finding it

somebodys got it. the only thing i can like confidently promise u is that somewhere, somebody, definitely knows the answer to this. u might be the person even. im not sure. /i/ def havent found it but like its in the mix somewhere. idk

i cant prove it to u but im positive ur not done yet, & you should stay

i didnt read back over any of this after i typed it, & so im gonna apologize again if it was just like, fullblown nonsense