#its LATE but it was worth it i wanted to finish it sooooo bad. to get it posted!!

[whumpzone]

Hi I don’t want this to seem pressuring or rude, especially bc the update was so recent, but I love your writing and I’m super into the vampire au and I’m wondering if we’ll see Viks reaction in the (potential) next update?

i hope you like this! it got long!

(masterpost)

CW vampire whumpee, thoughts of death, dissociation, dehumanisation

-

Vik pulled open a cupboard door, snatching a cereal bar for no good reason. He was kind of hungry, but he mostly enjoyed stealing something out of Linden’s house every time he popped by. The thing upstairs shouldn’t ruin their small rituals. Vik could just about ignore the way he was leeching the fun out of the place, replacing it with this awful, overbearing awkwardness.  He grunted and took a bite.

“You are so predictable,” Linden scoffed. “I knew you’d take one of those.”

Vik just opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out, treating Linden to a sight of his half-chewed food. Linden burst out laughing and whipped the teatowel at him. It was a good shot, snapping against his arm and making him choke in surprise.

“Ow!”

“Thieves get the whip.”

Vik didn’t want his mood to sour, he wanted to ignore it, but fuck it was hard. “Give that thing the whip.”

Linden’s smile faded and the sight of it made Vik’s chest hurt. He was already dealing with so much, and yes it was his own bizarre and stupid choice, but Vik knew he shouldn’t add to it.

“Sorry, mate.”

“No,” Linden sighed. “No, it’s okay. I don’t expect you to be okay with it, I get it. It’s weird.”

“It is weird.”

“Can you trust that I’m doing the right thing?”

Vik thought about this. Linden always appreciated his honesty. “I can’t. But I can trust that you know what the right thing to do is. Does that make sense?”

Linden’s smile returned, but it wasn’t quite the same. “Yeah, you always make sense.”

Two more bites and the snack was gone. Vik held the wrapper in his palm and crushed it up slowly, pretending it was solid steel and only his strength could break it down. One of the stupid, boyish habits he should have left behind in his teenage years but never quite did.

“I dunno what to cook for tea tonight…” Linden murmured as Vik turned to throw the wrapper away.

His talking turned to static, however, as Vik had his attention grabbed by something else. A hastily written note, like something out of an old indie horror game, was lying at the top of the bin. It wasn’t Linden’s handwriting, it was far too messy, and that left only one suspect. Not a person. The thing didn’t make it into that label.

Vik’s eyes narrowed.

What did you need to say sorry for?

Glancing back, throwing in a nod and a hum, hoping he had timed them right enough to look convincing, Vik saw that Linden wasn’t looking at him. He had a new shopping list on the counter before him, but he was staring out of the window, watching the world go by. He was probably happy to have to curtains open for once. God, why would he do this to himself?

Vik seized Linden’s moment of inattentiveness to swipe the piece of paper, pocketing it in one swift movement. From the same pocket, he pulled out a fag.

Linden glanced over, the movement alerting his peripheral vision, and Vik held the cigarette up. “Mind if I?”

“Yeah, sure,” Linden waved him off complacently, of course he did, he trusted Vik.

He had to abuse that trust, but this was important. Linden would understand.

“Have jacket potatoes, I would. So easy. I’ll be back in a bit.”

. . .

Pet knew. He had known long before he caught the scent of Vik walking up to the house. He’d known all night, and he hadn’t slept a second because of it, instead choosing to spend his last night on earth with the stars.

He would try to take it well. He wanted to aim for dignity, but such fantasies weren’t allowed.

The door opened slowly, like it had before. Pet could only watch as Vik locked it behind him. Of course he had a spare key, he was family. As Vik turned to face him once more, a tiny whimper escaped his lips.

No, no, he thought. I don’t think I can do this.

Vik started moving towards him. Pet couldn’t tell if he had a weapon, but he had enough silver to reduce him to screaming flesh. He scrambled back, all thoughts of being still and good thoroughly chased away, replaced by terror and rising panic and the clumsy, ugly desire to live.

Vik took another step. Pet had expected a blind rage and sudden pain and death following not long after, but this slowness reflected a depth of self-restraint, of planning, of a desire to do this properly. There would be no enraged punch that knocked him unconscious. There would be no misaimed kick that cracked his head in just the right place to kill him fast.

Vik’s eyes were locked with his. Should Pet look down like a dog, with a face full of humility and submission? Or was it better to hold the eye contact and prove to him that he wouldn’t dare put him under hypnosis? In the end it felt as if the choice was made for him, as his back hit the wall and he realised he was frozen in fear. He kept staring with wide, frantic, orange eyes.

One of his hands was balled up, and as Vik lifted it, Pet realised it wasn’t destined to punch him, not yet. It was holding something. Vik smoothed the note out and read it over.

“What made you write this, then?”

. . .

The vampire gasped, and Vik knew he was on the right path. Oh yeah. Something had definitely happened and he had needed to double-down on the I’m so harmless and damaged act.

His body was pulsing with anger. He could feel it under his skin, guiding his hands to wring the neck of the creature that was only a metre from him. It would be so easy. He could make sure all his silver rings were lined up and then pound and pound and pound until he was a mess. Until Linden had no choice but to throw him out. Vik would do that too. Linden wouldn’t have to worry about anything. He’d be glad for Vik’s help.

A tiny spark of caution suddenly ran through him. He was dealing with a vampire, after all. No matter what, he was faster, stronger, and more deadly.

An even tinier spark of frustration followed. If Vik did beat the shit out of him, it would mean the vampire was letting him. And what did that mean?

Did it mean he really was domesticated? Tamed? Tortured into submission?

Was that a good thing?

Vik’s lip curled into a scowl. He was standing over a vampire, and the vampire was cowering. Vik was the one in control. What the fuck else mattered?

“You wrote my brother a little sorry note. And I suppose you thought that was all you needed to do. I’m sure you feel pretty smug right now.”

The vampire shook his head, all of his features twisting up like he was going to cry. His eyes were shining. Vik almost laughed. Oh shit, he really was gonna cry.

There was an almighty bang behind him. It would have made a lesser man jump, but not Vik, not when he had a business to see to.

“Vik! Vik you fucking maniac!” Linden shouted. His voice was loaded with pure anger, and on Linden it sounded all wrong.

Vik didn’t break eye contact. It would be too easy for the vampire to get the jump on him if he got distracted.

“Open the door!” Linden continued. “Vik! He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t do anything!”

His tone was already dropping from anger to bargaining. He sounded scared.

Vik knew he couldn’t stay for long, and he felt like taking a risk. He leant even closer to the vampire. His blood would smell so fresh to him, separated by only a thin layer of skin, flesh, whatever. All negligible in the eyes of a hungry vampire. The cereal bar wrapper that Vik had discarded earlier.

“I warned you, right? I’d say I was pretty fair.”

The vampire just nodded, finally looking down and screwing his eyes shut. Braced.

“Vik!”

Before Linden had even finished shouting his name, the first punch had cracked straight across the vampire’s jaw, and god it felt good. It felt like sugar and caffeine and sweet release.

The punch caught and dragged, and Vik realised it was because his silver rings were doing their job even better than he’d anticipated- he’d obviously never punched a vampire in the face before- and each one had started to melt the skin. It was like dragging his knuckles across a fresh wax model. When he retracted his hand, Vik was staring back at an even more monstrous face than before.

The vampire’s left cheek and jaw, where the punch had landed, were badly burnt with rivets exactly where the rings had hit him. Patches of his lips were missing, leaving him with a permanent snarl. The vampire breathed heavily, spitting out some pieces of burnt flesh.

He still wasn’t fighting back. He hadn’t even raised his hands to shield his face.

He just watched, tears running silently down his cheeks, as Vik raised his fist again.

Tame.

Vik faltered.

The vampire started to move.

But he was lowering his head, not lunging for him. Vik’s throat went wholly ignored as the creature bent forward, chest against thigh, and pressed a kiss to Vik’s boot.

Vik’s stomach turned.

The next punch landed easily, knocking the vampire clean down, his curled hands and skinny shoulder bruising against the wooden bedroom floor.

“Get the fuck off me,” he spat, real nausea fuelling the bile in his words. He staggered back, a little too unsteadily for his liking. The vampire hadn’t put him under his control, sure, but he’d still done something to him. He delivered a few swift kicks, going for his ribs until the last one, where he simply lifted the boot that the vampire had just put his lips on and brought it down hard on one of his hands. Vik smiled as the vampire moaned, pushing his face into the floor, like it would swallow him up and let him escape.

It had only been a minute at most since Vik had last heard Linden shouting. He wasn’t going to break the door down, was he? That would be extremely stupid.

“Vi-“

“I’m coming out, calm down,” he shouted, summoning every ounce of nonchalance he could. None of this mattered to him, the whimpering vampire below didn’t matter to him, the only thing that might be worth a damn was that Linden was upset with him. Vik could let himself attend to that.

He thought about taking one of his thickest rings and pressing it into the back of the vampire’s neck, seeing how far it would sink into the flesh, burning a path through the living creature. His stomach rolled again. Perhaps not. He wanted to beat him, rough him up a bit, not torture him.

He kicked the vampire one last time, right in the face where his burns were, and then held his breath as he turned and opened the door.

He found Linden right outside, and ugh, fuck, the fucking look that Vik was greeted with was enough to sow the seeds of guilt, and that made his anger puff its chest up even further.

Linden grabbed his shoulder to shove him out of the way, staring into the bedroom, then back to Vik.

“Go downstairs,” he said, low and flat and emotionless.

Vik grunted and stormed away. When Linden did appear a few minutes later, Vik knew to hold his tongue and let him speak first.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Linden barked as soon as he was downstairs, just far enough that if Vik decided to turn back and finish the job, Linden would at least have time to react.

“Can’t you?” he replied, not missing a second. “It was really out of the realm of your imagination? You dumb, Linden?”

“You’ll be thrilled to know that he’ll be fine in a day or two. I thought you’d killed him. I thought you’d actually just murdered someone. I mean, beating the shit out of them is hardly better, but-“

“Of course he’s- of course he’s fucking alive!” Vik yelled. “He’s a vampire! Fucking hell!”

“He hardly fought back, did he? He would have let you kill him.”

Vik ignored this. “I did that for good reason, you seriously have no idea how much danger you’re in having that thing in the house.”

“God, you really do think I’m dumb. I know, Vikram, and it’s okay, he’s-“

“No, because it’s not okay, something happened and I found the note- he did something! He did something to have to write all that shit!” Vik was surprising himself with how unstable his voice was. He was going to tear himself to ribbons with emotion if he wasn’t careful. But he- his brother- “He did something to you!”

“He didn’t, it- where are the injuries, then? I’m fine!”

“Stop fucking lying to me, Linden, I know we see this differently and I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry I can’t support this, but you’re really gonna lie to me? To protect a worthless piece of shit vampire?”

“You lied! You lied to me,” Linden snapped, jabbing a finger into his own chest to emphasise his point. “You didn’t even ask me about the note, you just, what, fished it out of the actual rubbish and snuck away? You went right under my nose in my own house and-“

“Linden, Linden, do you hear yourself? You have a vampire upstairs!”

“Would you just take some deep breaths? Fuck!” Linden was shouting, now, they were both shouting and it was never going to accomplish anything.

How did the vampire see his brother? As master of the house? Vik could listen to the master of the house. He took some deep breaths. Linden did the same, and the two didn’t break eye contact. Vik wasn’t sure how his own face looked. Hurt? Furious? Beastly?

Linden looked like he was a hiker that had just come across a bear. His hands were slightly raised, ready to placate.

“Okay, okay, I’ve calmed down.”

“Okay.”

“Please just tell me what happened.” Vik felt wrung out. Why had any of this needed to happen? Why had Linden taken the stupid thing in, he thought hopelessly. Everything was going wrong. He absolutely hated arguing with Linden.

“I’m not going to let you hurt him anymore.”

“I won’t!” Vik heard himself raising his voice, and paused. Deep stupid useless breaths. “Sorry, I won’t, alright? God.”

“You’re acting like that was a ridiculous accusation to make, when you just-“

“Okay, I get it, I get it, I get it. Please tell me, please Linden, I need to know that you’re okay, I’m doing this for you.”

Linden stared at him from under his heavy brow. It would be so easy for Vik to lean into his own annoyance, but he didn’t want to. He tried to let himself feel the unbearable pain of humility.

Yes, Linden was right. He had just gone and beaten the little pet that Linden was looking after. He shouldn’t have done that- not because the vampire didn’t deserve it, but because Linden hadn’t asked him to.

“I moved my arm in front of his face, just to pick something up, but it scared him. He thought I was gonna hit him. He did this… kind of, like, a bite in the air, but it was like his mouth just closed as a reflex because he was surprised. So he didn’t actually bite me, or hurt me. And yeah, it scared the shit out of me, Vik. I panicked. And then he didn’t move, and I realised if he’d wanted to bite me, he would have. So I asked him if he could write on some paper, and he just used it to apologise, and then he ran upstairs.”

Linden broke eye contact. “Thanks for letting me talk.”

“Yeah, ‘course mate…” Vik said as he mulled everything over. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was only yesterday. I knew you’d lose your shit.”

“Yeah, but that’s not- I still can’t believe you didn’t say anything.”

“But Vik, you found out and you did lose your shit. I’m trying to look after him here. I would have told you, okay, of course I would’ve, just in a way that was a bit calmer.”

“So you’re really not hurt?”

“I promise. I swear down.”

“Good.”

“Christ, Vik.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry I kept interrupting you.”

Linden ran a hand down his face and exhaled. Vik stepped forward and tilted his shoulder, a tiny fraction of movement. Linden saw it, like he always did, and he understood, wrapping an arm around Vik in a tight hug.

Vik’s arms tightened across Linden’s back, using his strength to push the air out of him in a huff. It only lasted a second or two, but it was all they needed to get the point across.

“I’ll go home. I know you need to go back upstairs.”

“I really need to name him…” Linden muttered, with another almighty sigh.

. . .

Pet lay on the floor where Vik had left him. He was alive.

He took a few breaths. He didn’t want to think. He was numb- alive, and numb. Humans called his current state of breathing, eating, sleeping, a type of undeath. It didn’t seem quite accurate, but he knew he shouldn’t be questioning humans.

Still. Alive he was.

Why had Vik shown him mercy?

Even before his Master intervened, Pet’s finely tuned senses had picked up on all the infinite ways Vik had hesitated.

He hadn’t expected kissing his feet to stop the onslaught, and it didn’t- if anything, it made it worse-but Pet hoped it had proved his obedience. He was alive! He would happily be Vik’s punching bag. Vik could beat him senseless, keep him in his place, Pet would welcome it with Master’s permission.

His hand was twitching in pain where Vik had crushed it. He was strong, for a human, and Pet was an incredibly weak vampire. It made for a pretty good beating. The injuries would fade fast, but it didn’t make the hurt any less severe.

It had been deserved, so the pain didn’t feel like proper pain. The handlers used to remind him that being pinned down, bitten, drained of blood- that was legitimate. What Pet felt was justice, or something. It was hard to remember, not because he had forgotten, but because his mind shoved the memories behind a door and locked it.

He was thinking too much.

If he was truly destined to live a bit longer, Pet decided he had time to drift away. His mind was already tugging at the loose rope that moored him to his body, scratching at it with clumsy fingers, holding back until Pet closed his eyes and lent a hand. He knew how to untie the knot. He had done it so many times before, and as he finally went away, he let the rope slip from his palm without a second thought.

-

here's a little sketch of how Col looks at the end of this chapter:

taglist:

@whumpsday @whumpycries @hollowgast1 @pigeonwhumps @cupcakes-and-pain @extemporary-whump @unicornscotty @d-cs @secretwhumplair @octopus-reactivated @wolfeyedwitch

[clutchpowers]

Sooooo... i wanted to stick this little rambly thing at the bottom of the redraw but it would have made it look UGLY so im doing this separately... just wanna talk about the whole thing and What Not.

TLDR: its been a slash positive ride thats been worth it to try "something new" every year and my favorite piece out of all of them is the 9th. also for the curious heres the comparison of the 5th anni piece to the recent one (2018 -> 2023)

anyway. personal post time.

oh where to begin *rocks on my rocking chair* i guess it would be with the 5th anniversary piece...at the time it had been a long while since i did lineless art and i thought it would be cool to try it again for that one so i did by redrawing an old piece from 2014... that was the first "finished piece" i made of Them. i think i even made it into a wallpaper for myself lmao. anyway after i posted it i was like "aw man i should draw something every year until the 10th" but i thought yeah right. im going to forget next year like the idiot i am. but i Some How managed to do one every year... th worms got me... i honestly didnt think id make it all the way to the 10th but i did!! AND WITHOUT MISSING A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 7TH WHERE I WAS A WEEK LATE???? UNREAL especially when fun fact! every year i had no idea what i wanted to do! all i knew for sure is that i wanted each piece to be out of my comfot zone to push me to do something a little different. unfortunately the subjects tm where always the same so it feels a little. samey. but these are my celebratory posts I GET TO ONLY POST ABOUT THE OTP SUPER BLORBOS OF ALL TIME

the 6th anniversary was a redraw of that one scene. you know the one. the helicopter one. fucking hate that scene btw it actually causes me psychic damage i cant watch with the audio or ill scream. but it is my favorite scene of mine despite all the horrors it causes <3 and i wanted to redraw it as if it was a cartoon... like i had taken screencaps from the lcu cartoon in my head. i still remember the backgrounds being such a pain in the ass. honestly id like to go back and redo this one one day too or do something similar to the concept because its a fun one that i always saw done growing up and i wanted to try it myself.

for the 7th anniversary you can see the turn.. no more humans... return to lego... i was getting a little more confident in drawing them in the lego form so i did another redraw this time with the ending!! honestly i still like this one and how it looks even with how late it was but i wanted to test my confidence and do a real True and Finished piece with COLORED LINES and EVERYTHING!!!!! im glad i ended up taking the turn because for the LONGEST TIME i wanted to try and draw them as lego so bad because all i did was draw them as humans and its funny because now its the exact opposite. glad this piece was kinda the solidification in my head that yeah okay im a bit better at drawing the stylized lego toy now i can keep drawing them like this without feeling like im going to want to delete this in 2 weeks.

the 8th anniversary one is so weird. somewhere toward the beginning of the year it got into my head that i wanted to do a comic of them but time/school would have gotten in the way so i ended up opting for a page. another redraw of the ending scene which honestly out of all of them this is my least favorite one and its solely because its all so off. i def could have formated it better so the background shot doesnt take up the entire fucking page but then again im not a comic guy and this was my first time so the layout was bound to look HORRID but this is something id like to come back to ive had the idea of making like a genuine short comic about them since FOREVER and now that im a bit more experienced (lying) i would like to make one day!!!! just gotta stop getting caught up in my scripts!! and going in circles!! Because im obviously not a writer and i keep getting first-hand embarrassment from these!! but ill get over it one day lol.

OH THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY PIECE MY BELOVED. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES ACTUALLY i love this stupid thing so much you have no idea.i know its re-using lineless but i just loved the idea of what it would look like lineless AND IT CAME OUT SO PERFECT I LOVE IT SO MUCH obv it needs a few touch-ups so the main issues dont stand out to me but god. i love this piece so much. idk what came out of me to make this but its so good ill never get over it. and the little lego them as a cake topper ITS JUST SO CUTE I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY OTHER THAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SORRY

finally. the 10th anniversary piece. oh my god. okay. i need everyone to understand this. i had woken up with this fucking Unbearable pounding headache that was trying to kill me. my body the entire day wanted me to stop and lie down, but last night i was already done with a good chunk of it and all i had to do that day was finish some lines and the coloring?? i literally don't remember all i remember is my body actively trying to shut down and force me to stop and sleep which i took a nap? didnt help. so i said fuck it im finishing this. i was. an entire goddamn corpse arched over my laptop. i was so delirious the entire time its a fucking miracle it even came out as good as it did but honestly. i still hate how it fucking looks. like you can TELL when i gave up (the shading) and it sticks out like a sore fucking thumb to me and it pisses me off because i knew i could have done so much better if i wasnt being stricken down by gods hand and his every attempt to get me to rest. idk like im generally proud ot it, with this one i wanted to go out with a bang tm so i tried to draw every important and relevant character instead of ALL of them like I was originally planning LMAO but ah well. maybe one day when im faster at drawing. this one i defiantly wanna go back and touch up but i everytime i open the file i can see 40 more things wrong with it and it drives me nuts. so ill just have to wait for when im ready. i guess.

can i just say though. the improvement is crazy. it always catches me off guard because tbh i uh. dont like my own art. im getting better at not fucking hating it because i can pinpoint everything wrong with it but whenever i see the side by sides it always surprises me. i always dont think im improving but then i see it and its like wow i really am getting better! i still suck at 3000 things but im getting better! and its overall just a nice thing to see after having drawn them for as long as i have... the power of the worms is strong and has ruined my brain...... speaking of i know ive said a few times that i fucking hate certain pieces, not just LCU related ones but almost anything i post, but if you love them and are able to look at them with a twinkle in your eye then thank you. genuinely. i honestly love looking over the tags of people exploding and saying nice things. it warms my cold little heart and im glad there are people out there that genuinely love some of the things what i do! even if its just fanart and its just their blorbo. thank you for sticking around even tho all i do is draw my otp super blorbos :'^) this game means the world to me and im glad like more than 2 people wanna spread it around.

to wrap back around to the anniversary stuff and speaking of big love to the people out there THE FREAKING EPIC ZINE i was just a small thing but it came out amazing even for how small it was thank you to the contributors and thank you to everyone whos downloaded it!! its still getting the occasional and i love getting the notif in my email about it. i love that there are still people out there who wanna see it and all the hard work everyone put into it to celebrate the games 10th just thank you again i really does mean alot to me ALSO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IT OUT PLEASE DO IT IS 100% WORK YOUR TIME AND ITS DIGITAL WITH PRINT AT HOME STICKERS AND YOU CAN KEEP IT AND LOOK AT IT FOREVER

uh to end this off....would I like to do this again..... I mean I kinda am? by that i mean ill do the big numbers (15, 20, 25, 30, 40, etc) till the day i freaking die!!!! but yeah no countdown stuff ever again!!!!! sorry :^( it was super fun to do though!!!! and im glad i did it that piece is the conclusion to the whole thing but that doesnt mean ill stop drawing them. duh. theyre my characters now! but heres to many more anniversaries and to hopefully another game! or to just see them again in any other lego media! or even better... a mischaracterized cameo in ninjago!

[lostacelonnie]

Whoops i lost track of this one my bad. Discord messaging is so much easier with the notification staying there. Anyways. Hell yeah getting to be not near people you do lnt vibe with is the best love that for you. Ah yeah gulls will just be an asshole about anything so at least they gave warning? Still dont like em though. Australian magpies are probably worse. Thanks! I adore german & it just. Having very specific words for things. So im excited to dig into that. Oh i didnt know that but honestly not surprised by it. Another piece of history from nazi germany to add to stuff i know. History was never my like. Favorite subject but i try to study it where i can. Its important. Mobile gave me bronya finally so its goin well & seele is coming back in 1.4 so maybe ill be able to get her & bronya both. Though i find it weird that we're heading back to belobog already? I havent even finished the next story part yet though. I havent used fire trailblazer much yet but will when i have more of her eidolons. Theyre both real fun rcg was short so i beat it quick still workin on dredge. Ill let you know how rain world goes for sure. Oh very nice. I finally did mine into purple & it looks really good im gonna keep up on it i think. Ive been breaking off from both to play other stuff but 4.1 fontaine is still fun to explore i love it. Cant wait for furina to drop. Oh shit history exam i hope that went well for you.i will say bronya is nice to have especially with kafka. Give her a turn boost to get her follow up action back works real nice. Damn that is. So much stuff but sounds so worth it. For all the merch & the choker who doesnt love a good choker

OH ITS OK IT APPEARS THAT SO HAVE I. AHHH. IM SORRY. schools been a Lot lately [7 tests this week......] and im going to alicante next week so its probably not gonna get easier for me to respond soon..... and oh yeah it totally is. i ❤ discord cos i can at least give ppl Signs Of Life instead of silence. anyways. THANK YOU!! ive been having a lot of fun with the new group lately its great. and yeah they really are ajdkfkjfj im Thankful for the warning yeah. and also that not even a single gull tried to steal my food. ooh tell me ab it i havent heard any australian magpie horror stories...... and yeah as i said. german is Such a nice language, i esp agree with the words bc theyre just. Great. love em. but yeah didnt have much luck in my previous years of learning it. and oh well the more you know!! honestly it was never MY favorite either bc, even tho ive always found it interesting, i just. could never remember anything. but honestly now that im on hist-geo its really growing on me ahdjfkkgj. probably also because i have a cool teacher. AND HEY CONGRATS ON THE BRONYA and good luck with getting seele!!! i have Not opened star rail even once recently [<- was only playing the game to get wolfie and kafka] so idrk whats been happening. have fun tho!! fire trailblazer IS good with her eidolons but tbh i just never had the energy to build her. and ah epic!!!!!! and yes please do keep me updated if you end up playing rain world!!!!!! its sooooo good its so good. AND AHHH NICE!!!! i want to do mine purple someday but i have a pretty dark natural hair color so id have to bleach it and i dont really Wanna Do That yet. and fair ahsjfkfk ive actually been playing genshin More recently, at least when i have time. which is not often. IM ALSO SO SO SO EXCITED FOR FURINA I HAVE LIKE 170 WISHES SAVED ALREADY................... anyway!!! it did actually!!!! but were doing pretty easy material rn so well see how it goes in the future ajdjhfjg....... it is what it is. and ah yeah that does sound like a pretty good team actually...... and yeah it def was!!!!! havent gotten a chance to wear the choker out yet [<- scared of old ladies on the bus] nut im Going To

[dudeandduchess]

Kyōjurō x F!S/O, and Ran: Orihime and Hikoboshi (Family Fluff, SFW Scenario)

Summary: Kyōjurō and his wife take their daughter to the Tanabata, and while there Kyō tells Ran all about the story behind the festival— while, of course, embellishing a few details. After all, it was for the sake of entertaining the brightest star in the Flame Hashira’s life.

Note: I had baby fever, so this was inevitable. 😂 Also, here are two amazing art pieces of Ran which were drawn by @captain-roomba 🥰 I love them so much and were high key my inspirations for writing this.

If you bbys have any Ran art or anything like that, please don’t hesitate to send them my way. I love seeing them sooooo much. 🥰🍉

***

The sound of the festival being in full swing colored the mildly humid night, bringing life and excitement to the otherwise stifling setting around the youngest member of the Rengoku family.

Ran held tightly to her father’s right hand, looking up at him expectantly as he brought the hashimaki up to his mouth and took a bite out of the lukewarm— and savory— treat. “Papa, don’t eat everything!”

His daughter’s quiet outburst had Kyōjurō laughing— making a few people look over at him, before dismissing him as another one of those happy-go-lucky festival goers. He then decided to humor his little princess, stooping low enough to that he could bring the snack down to her lips. And, in a heartbeat, she took a huge bite out of the savory treat— making sure to get as much of the katsuoboshi as she could.

The four year-old’s actions had Kyōjurō’s eyes widening, as he watched his tiny and adorable daughter fit the huge bite of hashimaki in her mouth. Her cheeks even puffed up with how much she’d eaten, yet she still shot him a wide grin that could only make him chuckle.

Then, with a sigh, he tried not to eye the half eaten taiyaki that was still in Ran’s right hand— not to mention the tiny bag that hung from the crook of her arm, which still had five more of the fish-shaped sweets.

When his wife sees just how much food they got, he had no doubt that she would get mad at him again. All because he liked to spoil Ran.

In his defense, she was his little angel— so he wanted to dote on her as much as he could, and it wasn’t like he didn’t have the means to do so. If Ran wished, he could buy out all of the food stalls in the area; but he wouldn’t do that, all because of his wife (Y/n).

Kyōjurō had faced so many tough demons in his years of being a Slayer, but none of them could match up to (Y/n)— especially when she started wielding her sandal around. Once that came off, it was time to hide; that was for sure.

A chuckle bubbled free from his lips at the thought, and it had Ran looking up at him once more as she continued to chew through the food in her mouth. However, when she swallowed it, she instantly brought the taiyaki to her lips and took a bite out of it— before offering it up to Kyōjurō. “Does papa want some?”

The plastic bag that hung from the crook of her arm made a crinkling sound as it swung with her movements— hitting the top of the Flame Hashira’s knee as Ran held it up as best as she could.

“Maybe later, princess,” Kyōjurō answered with a grin, just as he finished the last of the hashimaki on the stick and tossed it into a trash bin. “Thank you.”

He didn’t miss the minute frown that briefly graced his daughter’s lips, however; and it had Kyōjurō chewing faster before swallowing what was in his mouth. And in a move that he’d done so many times before, he scooped Ran up into his arms and grinned at her.

Just as he’d intended, his little girl let out a peal of laughter that warmed his heart— tapering his grin down into a soft, satisfied smile that he didn’t even bother to hide from her.

“On second thought, can I have some? Papa’s already hungry again.” He really wasn’t hungry, but the bright expression that graced Ran’s face made the white lie worth saying in the first place.

She didn’t fail him; holding up the red bean filled pastry to his mouth, and holding it there as he took a generous bite out of it.

“Umai!” The Hashira cried out with a grin, as he held his daughter tighter— especially when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

The rest of their walk was wordless after that, filled instead with the sounds of taiko drums in the distance, as well as the quiet sounds of them going through most of the taiyaki that they’d gotten earlier.

Kyōjurō was sure of the probability that he’d stained his yukata with the red bean filling, but he paid no mind to it as he looked over his daughter’s pink one— which had the same flame patterns as his red one had— and deemed it clean enough to pass his wife’s muster later.

All they had to do at that point was to wait for her by the river— since she had to get the mini silk bags that she so adored from the merchant stalls on the other side of the bank. They had decided to split up, since there were much more people there— and it wasn’t really ideal to bring Ran to a much more crowded area.

And so, without anywhere else to sit, Kyōjurō set Ran down on the fence that lined the edge of the river— not once loosening his arms around her, and even leaning forward so he could press a kiss to the crown of her head.

“Papa?” The little girl asked softly.

In response, the Hashira pulled a little bit away from her so he could see her face beneath the dim glow of the paper lanterns above them. “Hm?”

“What’s Tanabata?”

Kyōjurō had to really stop and think about it— all while thinking if he had already told the story to Ran. But when he concluded that he had never told her the story before, he answered confidently, “Well, it’s the story of how me and your mama met.”

The little girl gasped at that, complete awe in her features; looking as if it was her father whom had hung up all of the stars in the sky just for her. It had him feeling a little out of sorts, yet extremely content as he smiled down at Ran.

“Really? How! How did you and mama meet? Please tell me, papa!”

The young man chuckled at that, then answered indulgently, “Well, back then— a long time before you were born— your mama was a princess named Orihime. She loved to weave, and it was her job to make pretty clothes for all of the gods in heaven. She would always weave by the river called Amanogawa, and she was happy for a while— until she got sad, because she felt lonely. Orihime wanted to get married and have a family, but she couldn’t do that because she didn’t have any new people to meet.”

Ran was so engrossed in the story, hanging on to her father’s every word and nodding along as Kyōjurō continued his tale.

“Then one day, Orihime’s father introduced her to me. Back then, people called me Hikoboshi; and my job was to herd cattle,” He smiled at that, then picked up the story once more, “Your mama was the most beautiful lady I’d ever seen in my life. Her smile was so warm and breathtaking, and everything about her was so perfect. So I asked her to marry me then and there.”

The Rengoku patriarch suppressed a laugh at the memory of him actually proposing marriage to (Y/n) the first time he saw her, and shook his head to clear out the memory of the humorous rejection that she had answered him with. Still, he couldn’t help but smile at the adorable way that she looked as she stuttered out her words.

“We were so happy with each other that we forgot to do our duties. Orihime stopped weaving, and Hikoboshi stopped tending to the cattle; so all of the cows were loose up in heaven. The gods didn’t like that at all, so Orihime’s father separated us,” He sighed wistfully at that, remembering his own struggles when his father-in-law tried to take (Y/n) away from him; all because of his dangerous occupation. “We couldn’t see each other, because I was put on the other side of Amanogawa— but your grandfather agreed to let me and your mama meet on the seventh day of the seventh month of every year. Only, there wasn’t a bridge to let your mama cross over to me.”

“Oh no, papa! Did you swim?” Ran sounded so troubled by it, which made Kyōjurō feel a little bad for stretching the truth as far as he did. But it was too late to take it back at that point, so he just continued, after shaking his head.

“Your mama was crying so much, that it summoned a flock of crows. And they became a bridge that let us meet every year; but when it rained, your mama and I can only look at each other— and wish that we were together.”

“But it’s different now, right? You and mama live together now! Right, papa?” There were tears building up in the corners of Ran’s eyes, which Kyōjurō made disappear by pressing butterfly kisses all over his daughter’s cheeks and forehead— as well as her eyelids, when she’d closed her eyes to will her own tears away.

“Yeah, it’s different now, because we have you,” He reassured softly, all while pulling away the tiniest bit and smiling down at Ran. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and your mama; our little Ran-chan.”

At that, Kyōjurō pulled his daughter into his arms once more; tucking her head beneath his chin and taking comfort in the way that her tiny arms hugged him in return. He’d thought that moment couldn’t have gotten any better, yet it did when he looked up and spotted his wife crossing the bridge from the other side of the river.

The smitten smile that made its way onto his lips was inevitable; all he could do was succumb to the butterflies in his stomach that fluttered up to his chest, which had his heart feeling so full of love— both for Ran and (Y/n).

And when (Y/n) smiled at him as she stood at the very middle of the bridge, the Flame Hashira found himself whispering, “I love you” right as he looked into those eyes that he loved so much.

(Y/n) couldn’t suppress her answering grin as she read her husband’s lips; watching him as he patted down their daughter’s unruly hair, while his gaze stayed right on her.

However, just as she was about to answer, the wind picked up and had her hair whip around her face— causing her to lift a hand up and tuck the unruly strands behind her left ear. And, instead of answering with a verbal reply, the young woman merely took the hand that she’d used to tidy her hair up, then pressed a kiss to her fingers before blowing it right towards her husband.

Of course, in typical Kyōjurō fashion, he pretended to catch (Y/n)’s kiss with one hand— right before pressing his own fingers to his lips.

Theirs was not a story exactly like Orihime and Hikoboshi’s, but it was something that was much better; much more intricate, and much more special since they were the ones that had tailored it, after all. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

[kiki-wiccan]

Monster (Kiki/Isabella and Professor James backstory self write Tw: Abuse, Violence, Rape)

Isabella had the worst day at college possible, if that was saying something considering lately everyday had been dreadful. Her project that she was planning on submitting into an art gallery had been smashed to bits. By the looks of it, it definitely was no accident. She couldn’t understand how it would’ve happened though. Her art professor had graciously allowed her to put the sculpture in his office for safe keeping. Did someone sneak into his office just to break it? Oh how cruel could people be? Luckily it was Friday and she didn’t have any classes on the weekends, a break from college. A chance to hide away in her room from the town. She was meant to visit the professor at his apartment that evening for their usual day night.

Dressing up was a hassle with her mood. However she managed to slip on a short but stylish spaghetti strap black dress. Slipping on her black flats she reached over on her nightstand and grabbed a black hair twisty, tying her hair up in a messy bun. Snatching up her purse off of her bed, she said goodnight to her mother and grandmother as she likely wouldn’t be home till late. Slipping into her lavender punch buggy she made her way to the professors complex. Upon arriving she used her key that he had given her to unlock the door and entered his apartment. Closing the door behind her she announces her presence knowing he was somewhere within the apartment. “James, I’m here! You wouldn’t believe what happened! My sculpture somehow got smashed...I honestly thought it would be safe in your office...it’s absolutely awful I won’t be able to submit anything for the gallery!”

James slid a bookmark into his book and set it down on the coffee table, getting up to greet the young woman. “Oh how terrible! These kids should know better than to take their fears out on someone else” he said slightly louder to let her know where he was. As Isabella came into veiw he approached the girl with a smile gracing Isabella's face at seeing her lover. He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek, and Isabella nuzzled her cheek against his caring caress. “Don’t worry about it too much, my love. I could let you get some time to remake the sculpture this weekend if you would like. Though if those rats can get into my office, I’m not sure I can guarantee it won’t happen again.”

She normally would be cheered up by his presence alone and of course offering her a chance at a redo as he had many times before. But today the depression of everything that had been happening was weighing heavy on her heart. “Could you? Even then though would it be worth it? Everything I’ve created since...they found out who I am has been destroyed...” she bites her bottom lip and averts her gaze, tears pricking in her eyes. “I know that I shouldn’t give up but....it’s getting worse at school and just in town...they’ve started getting physical...”

James eyes narrowed. “Now now, I’m here, aren’t I? I’ll always have your back Isabella.” He wiped the tears away with the pad of his thumb and pulled her in for a hug. With a soft sigh Isabella wrapped her arms back around the professor. “If it ever gets too unbearable, just come to me, and I will protect you from them.” He always did give the best hugs and knew exactly what to say. “You’re right...I’m so lucky to have you, thank you for not leaving me or judging me for who I am,” Isabella replied.

James pulled away from the hug but left his hands on her shoulders. “Would you like something to drink? I have all the usual beverages.” He spoke with a warm smile on his face.

“Then that means you must have chocolate milk, which I need!” Isabella says and grabs his hands and leads him into the kitchen.“Maybe if you’d help me with the sculpture we’d be able to finish it together? I really want to be accepted into the art gallery I know you mentioned how popular they are.” She opens the fridge to find the carton of chocolate milk that the professor kept specifically for her. Isabella loved anything sweet, knowing that the professor kept it in his home because it was something she enjoyed. Anything that made her rely on him for comfort. Grabbing the carton of chocolate milk when she found it. Setting it on the counter she got on her toes and reached up into the cabinet to grab herself a glass.

James crossed his arms, watching Isabella. "An Interesting thought, though I'm not sure how much help I'd be able to provide, my sweet. It is against the rule for a professor like me to help out on such a project, so if anyone found out, the whole town would be after my head." He gave her a sad looking smile. "Nevertheless, I will provide you with all the tools you need and help with what I can. I'm sure with your talents, you will be able to make something beautiful in no time."

Kiki poured the milk into her glass then put the carton away in the fridge. “I know, your reputation is important. I wouldn’t want you to get in any trouble....“ she closes the fridge and grabs the glass from off the counter.

James leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, watching her closely. "I'm glad you understand. It's truly unfortunate that I can't help you more…” he said with a sigh.

“The new sculpture won’t be as wonderful as the first one I made but I’ll do my best! Should we start it tonight or do you have other plans for date night?” Isabella asked as she continued sipping on her milk. Chocolate milk and the professors encouraging words was definitely a mood booster.

James leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. “I don't see why we can't do both. I was just thinking of taking a stroll, but we could always just take the long way around to the studio."

Finishing up her glass she places it in the sink. He really was such a sweetheart, she got lucky finding someone like him. “That sounds like a plan! Let’s do it!” smiling she links her arm around the professor, who grabbed his shoes and keys on their way out. Walking out of his apartment and down one of their familiar pathways. They often would walk at night ever since being exposed. Of course Isabella didn’t mind it, as she loved staring at the twinkling night sky.

As they walked, James seemed to be on high alert for someone-- anyone-- who might be watching them. When they at last reached the campus, he unlocked the door to the studio, ushering Isabella in and locking the door behind them. He covered the windows so that nobody could see inside either. "Alrighty," he said, clapping his hands together in a motion reminiscent of a man starting class. "What can I do to help you get started?"

Isabella set her purse down and chuckled as James seemed to take on his usual authoritative role. “Well I’ll need colorful clay....some carving tools....some glitter....”

James rolled his eyes, a smile making its way onto his face. "You and your glitter... As usual, just don't make a mess with it. I'd feel bad for the custodians." With that being said, he went around the studio, getting out the various items that she needed and setting it up for her. He sat down in a corner to give her some time to work, his legs crossed as he watched the girl he once admired so much.

“I’ll try my best not to make a mess!” Isabella replied she slipped off her black flats and reached into her purse, pulling out a hair twisty and tying her hair up in a messy bun. When she was focused on something she zoned everything else out. After everything was set up she immediately got to work. Humming softly to herself as her hands worked with the clay. She had a specific vision in her mind and she was completely focused on creating it. Using the different colors she was given to create her masterpiece. The form of her art taking shape as beautiful fairy with large wings. Using the glitter she was given to detail the wings. As she finally finished she stepped back. Her hands covered in clay and glitter with some on her face. A smile on her face as she stared at her masterpiece. “sooooo do you like it?” she waited for the usual approval of her lover.

James smiled as she looked up to face him— had he not been smiling the whole time? "Why don't we put it in the oven? We can talk for a bit while it's firing," he said, dodging her question with a forced smile as me motioned for her to put the creature into the oven.

“Ooo alright! I hope it comes out well. I really think I let out my creativity in this piece. I love designing fairies though usually I keep them in my sketchbook hidden...” She carefully lifted up her creation and set it down in the oven. By now she knew how to work the machine and turned it on. Before twirling around and walking back over to the professor. Isabella was practically beaming, it was obvious she was proud of her work.

James watched, his fake smile plastered on his face as she set her abomination into the oven, and waited until she had closed it to approach her. He gently reached out and caressed her cheek, wiping a bit of glitter off of under her eye with the pad of his thumb before removing his hand-- only to swiftly make contact with her cheek once more with a heavy smack. His smile faded instantly to a disgusted frown. "You should keep that disgusting filth hidden forever." before she could get over the shock of him smacking her, he grabbed her shoulders and pinned her against the wall, the force of the action knocking a couple unpainted pots off the shelves and they came crashing down around them.

“J...James....?” her voice cracks as she stares into his blue anger filled eyes. Had she done something wrong? Why was he angry at her?

"Do you honestly think anyone will compliment that abomination you've created!?" James spat, his eyes full of rage. "You should be afraid -- very afraid -- of what this town thinks of you. Yet here you are, happily enjoying yourself with your filthy little hands, creating such vile forms out of our precious clay. You're a disgrace to the art program."

“You said I shouldn’t be afraid....that you’d protect me from them!.....I thought...I thought you didn’t mind supernaturals....what’s going on?” her brows furrowed in confusion as she tried to make sense of what was happening. “Did someone threaten you or something?”

A nasty grin spread across his face as he noted the fear in her eyes and in her voice. Yet he still wasn't satisfied-- he needed more. "Oh, sweet Isabella. I will protect you from them-- but only because you are mine. I used to love you, you know... but you ruined it, ruined everything with this vile truth-- you're a monster, something to be feared. But I won't have that, no no. I will make you fear me." His voice at this point had lost all hints of kindness and was at a low growl, like an angry beast. He kept his grip tight on her, before saying in a deep voice, "I will make you fear me like no other." With that said, he drew back to punch her in the face, the stomach, and kicked her legs out from under her to send her crashing to the floor.

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, was this the man she loved? What happened this couldn’t be real. Had he been lying to her this whole time? Was he like everyone else in this town?! “I...I’m not....I’m not a monster...I...James...I love you....please...” her words of desperation to try and convince him she wasn’t bad, she wasn’t wicked. Instead she was met with a version of the professor she never even knew existed. Chills running down her spine as he claimed that he’d make her fear him. Next thing she knew, more pain. Before she had a chance to recover he had pinned her underneath him, kneeling on her legs so she couldn't kick or get up.

“SNAP OUT OF IT JAMES!! Fucking stop it!!!” Isabella shouted. “I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TREAT ME LIKE THEY TREAT ME! I AM NOT A MONSTER!!!!” As she was pinned to the floor she instinctively opened her mouth to let out a scream. However it was muffled by his hand and she stared up at him in terror.

"Scream, I dare you. No one will come to your rescue. And at the off chance they do, I'll simply tell them you attacked me. They will believe me, of course. Who would believe a monster?" He gave off an evil-sounding laugh as he continued to beat her, leaving cuts with his rings and bruises with his fists.

James knew exactly what he was doing, he knew how the town worked. They all saw her as some awful monster but she wasn’t. The professor had led her to believe that he thought differently from the rest. Part of her still wanted to believe this wasn’t him. She struggled back against him but it was proven useless. Hit after hit came down and all Isabella could feel was pain. Bruises already forming on her pale skin along with bloody cuts. Once he seemed to be finished she tried getting up, but groaned in pain as she realized how badly he had beat her.

Yet he still wasn't satisfied. Before Isabella could get up, he grabbed the glitter she'd been using. "This is for the art you've disgraced," he spat, sprinkling some into her open cuts. "How does it feel now, Isabella?"

Watching him grab the glitter as she finally allowed her eyes to fill with tears. Hissing as the glitter was sprinkled into her already bloody cuts. It stung, despite this she still didn’t want to believe this was James. She wanted to believe that maybe he was forced to do this? He had to love her right? “ I love you please...James don’t do this....don’t be like them....I thought...you were different....who’s...making you do this?...”

James's twisted smile grew at the sight of her tears. "Who? Who's making me? You really don't know?" he asked, faking a surprised expression. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "It's you, of course... you freak." He needed to get up, and after glancing around the room, grabbed the wire that was used to cut clay and tied her ankles with it. "Now, be a good girl... I certainly wouldn't recommend struggling against those wires. You know how they cut through clay... like butter."

Her blood ran cold as the realization finally hit her that this was of his own will. His breath tickling her ear as he insulted her. Freak, monster was that really what the man she loved saw her as? After all they had been through, after all the trust she had put in him. As he finally got off of her, she attempted to push herself up. Her arms were shaky and she could barely lift the top part of her body before laying back down. Next thing she knew something sharp was tied around her ankles. She looked down and panic shot through her body yet again. Without even struggling she could already feel the wire cutting into her skin. Gritting her teeth as she laid there, now she really was stuck unless she wanted to amputate her feet. Hearing his mocking tone just hurt her even more, was he really enjoying doing this to her?

After saying that, he got up and opened the oven, the heat of the fire quickly filling the room. He turned the oven off and reached for the metal tongs, bringing out the still uncooked sculpture.

“JAMES NO DON’T!! PLEASE DON’T!!” Isabella cried, reaching out towards the sculpture, her cries were in vain as the masterpiece she’d worked hard on was dropped.

"Oops," he said with an evil grin as the sculpture smashed to the floor with a dull thud and shattered and squished onto the floor. "Oh no.... just like all your other art. How... unfortunate."

“W...why....” a sob escaped her lips as she saw the sad state of the destroyed fairy. Shooting a glare at him. “Like all my ....other art....w....wait...you! Did you...have you been the one destroying my art?!!!” anger swirled with pain as she shouted at him.

"You just now figured it out? Poor girl," he said, clicking his tongue. After kicking the broken pottery out of his way, he made is way back over to Isabella, kneeling down in front of her once more, his face getting dangerously close to hers. He ran his hand through her hair, a gentle caress that the girl was used to-- yet at the end of a few strokes he firmly gripped her dark locks.

"Did you really think I would be careless enough to let others into my office? No... you are mine to destroy, and that applies to your artwork as well." he paused for a moment, looking into her angered eyes with dissatisfaction. "tsk tsk... this won't do. Is that.. anger? Little Isabella... the only emotion you should feel towards me is fear." Like a hungry beast, he hit her once more, then began tearing off her clothing, not caring at all about the ripped fabric.

~ Rape Occured will not be writing details ~

Once he was satisfied, he redressed, straightening his tie and running his hands through his hair, leaving the sobbing girl on the ground as he walked away. Yet before he shut the door behind him, he turned to face her once more. "Remember, Isabella... I would strongly advise against telling anyone of the... 'love spell' you used on me tonight." with that said, he turned off the lights and left, leaving her there in the dark. Staring at him with terror in her eyes, he’d won, she feared him.

Her heart was absolutely torn into pieces, how could he do this to her? The studio was eerily silent minus the pained sobs coming from herself. Using her arms she managed to pull her body to her purse that was near the entrance. Finding her phone she switched on the flashlight and snatched her pocket knife from deeper within her purse. With shaky hands she cut the wire from her bloodied ankles, free at last. Using the wall to help her she managed to stand up on shaky legs. Her entire body was sore and every move brought on more pain. She couldn’t stick around though, turning on the light switch her gaze landed on her destroyed sculpture. Making her way over she knelt down and scooped up the remaining pieces. “I’m sorry....” she whispered as she got up and chucked it into the trash can. Staring down at her torn dress she debated on how she’d be able to get home. Glancing around the art room she snatched up one of the art aprons and slid it on. It covered the parts she needed it to. Taking one last look around the studio she once adored making art in, she promised herself she’d never come back here. Sliding on her flats and snatching up her purse she flicked the lights off and left the studio.

[mamoretta]

Autumn in Japan❤

In November 2019, I went on a full week trip to Japan with my two lovely cousins, Teh Epi and Teh Ami. The trip was on my bucketlist, but when we first planned this trip, we were reckless and kinda impulsive but I don’t regret it any single second. Luckily, we bought the ticket 9 months before departure, so we had enough time to prepare everything (money especially). Little did you know that Japan is the farthest I’ve ever been from home (for now), so I was extra excited and the fact that I can afford this trip alone (in +-9 months of saving!) was a proud moment for me.

Because my last vacation was a solo trip, the first thing I noticed about this trip was the differencies between when you go alone and when you go grouping. In my opinion, solo traveling is much closer to your heart, like there’s always that touching moment when you feel you can conquer anything (I wonder what would happened if I go to Japan alone!!). While group traveling is more refreshing, fun, and thrilling, but it really depends on whom you travel with. I think you have to go with someone that you really vibed with if you want to fully enjoy the trip with less drama. Lucky me, I have two wonderful companions that made my trip to Japan couldn’t been any better. Although there wasn’t always rainbow in Japan (literally), but t’was full of laugh and positivity. Super big love and thanks to Ami-chan and Epi-chan❤

The Trip

I only visited Osaka and Kyoto due to my short time and budget-friendly trip but it was all worth it.

Day-0: Depart & Transit

We flew to Japan with Singapore Airlines (the service and the food was superb! Plus they have Gentle Bones’ song on their entertainment board :p), so we had transit in Changi for a night long, yes 9-hour long. We landed in Changi at 23.00 and we wanted to visit Jewel for the sake of their indoor waterfall although the waterfall only operated until 23.30! We managed to lined up in immigration and jogged to Jewel but too bad the waterfall already turned off (we knew from the beginning we wouldn’t make it but at least we tried). We snapped some obscure photos as evidence that we were there. Then we went back to T2 Changi and strolled around finding a nice spot to spend the night, the snooze area and the long sofas was packed we ended up in some single sofas in front of the children playground, it was warm but we barely slept. 

Day-1: Landed in Osaka

We had breakfast in-between airplane watching at Changi before our flight at 7 am, we bought butter toast and teh O’. The teh O was uniquely delicious, it was teh tarik with melted butter, warm sweet and savory at the same time. The teh O is worth a flight to Changi (hiperbolic but it was that great). Then we found an empty foot massage machine and tempted to try one because our (already) sore calf, and it was one our biggest mistake... the machine was badly stink (imagine million people from around the world using that same machine :)) and the stink sticked to our socks, then we putted the smelly socks into our shoes... imagine the rest. (In case you wondering, yes our shoes was smelly troughout our trip in Japan T_T). In the evening, finally we safely landed in KIX, we was welcomed with the beautiful autumn foliage outside the airport. It was our first time witnessing autumn foliage with our own eyes, we were so happy >_<

Then we rushed to ICOCA vending machine to bought our transportation card for our trip and looked for our train to our hotel in Osaka while carrying the heavy luggage. The first time we tried Japan train line was confusing... we entered the same train back and forth because we were not sure that was the right train and there was no one to asked. The cold air and strong wind started to stabbed me who only wore 2 thin layers of clothes. Freezing. Luckily we arrived at our hotel just in time, rested for a minute, then we went to Dotonbori to get dinner. During this trip, we stayed in Ookini Hotel Dotonbori, just 700 m walk from the buzzing Dotonbori. In Dotonbori, we had Kukuru Takoyaki, ¥800 for 10 pieces of the tastiest takoyaki I’ve ever tasted. Then we lined up for the famous Ichiran Ramen(!!!). Twisted part, later we realised that the Ichiran Ramen we visited was not the ‘no pork’ Ichiran branch we intended to visit... didn’t know if we were too hungry or too careless T_T anyway here’s the pic of the pork broth:

Day-2: Kyoto Part 1

We had breakfast at the nearest Family Mart to our hotel (it was like a little heaven for me, all the food, drinks, snack, and dessert were cheaply delicious). Then we headed to Kiyomizudera Temple in Kyoto by express train. To reach the temple, we had to walk about 20-30 mins but the walk was so pleasing because there were many cute cafe and souvenir shops along the walk. After we spent enough time and took enough memories at Kiyomizudera, we walked to Gion through Sannenzaka & Ninenzaka Street. The street was packed with tourist and full of vibrant touristy shops. We stopped by at Studio Ghibli Shop(!!!) and enjoyed a cup of gingerbread latte at the unique tatami-style Starbucks cafe, there’s a beautiful zen garden and all things beautiful <3 Before we arrived at the modern side of Gion, we passed through an old-style-long-charming alley, every path we took there was beautiful and reminded me so much to anime sceneries. Even when we arrived to the busy Gion, I feel like I was living in anime world.

Then we walked to Nishiki Market. It’s time for FOOD! The best part: super fresh seafood sashimi! I got to ate uni for the first time in my life and I tasted the most delicious salmon sashimi in the world. I cried. We lost count on the money we spent in this market because all things was very tempting. I wish I could go back to Nishiki Market. Then we had Ayam-ya Halal Ramen for dinner (finally real halal food here) and snacked on donuts and hojicha at Koe Donuts. We went back to Osaka and we stopped at the station a bit far away from our hotel to saw the illumination fulfilled the road, it was magical ✨ We walked far enough to made our stomach felt empty again, then we decided to had supper at 24-hour all ¥100 Kura Sushi. All the staffs spoke japanese and didn’t understand our english and all the instructions is in japanese, we waited 1 hour for our queue number to be called (also in japanese x_X), then a waitress came to us offering us (in japanese) the english menu (thank God). 

Day-3: Universal Studio Japan

It is the happiest day in my life!!!!!!!! One day in USJ is never enough, but we already planned a strategy to fully maximized our time in USJ, so after a full day of adrenaline and happiness, we walked out from USJ (with very sore legs) feeling contented. The first ride we headed to was Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. They said this is the most wanted ride so the queue must be very long. But lucky us, we queued only about 30 mins long and there is one funny story. In the middle of the ride (we thought it was the middle because we hadn’t finished the ride yet), the machine stopped but we didn’t know any single thing about what happened because all we hear was japanese. Three of us were panicked at that 4-seated train, so we tried to ask what happened to one okasan beside me *me pulled out all my sumimasen-arigatou skill*. But all we got was silence and a blank stare from her that made us even more scared *laugh ih japanese*. Shortly afterward the ride was running again but when we reached the end of the ride, the train didn’t stop and we had 2 full rounds instead... okay the first round was anticlimax because of that technical problem and the second round was enough to made us had nausea 😂 nonetheless, the ride was amazing and very nostalgic (because it’s Harry Potter!!!). 

My second favorite ride is Hollywood Dream. The track is terrific and every single seat has its own monitor and speaker to let us choose the song we want to hear during the ride. I chose Happy - Pharell Williams (by sentimental reason) and I was superrrr happy and carried away by the whoosh. And the most *EPIC* ride goes to THE FLYING DINOSAUR!!! I was speechlessly astonished by the ride, the ride continuously gave me palpitations. I felt like I was literally flying as a flying dinosaur. Last but not least, though it wasn’t a ride, the highest appreciation goes to Hogwarts Castle Light Show. There are no words can describe how magical it was. My jaw dropped throughout the show. I love itttt.

Day-4: Kyoto Part 2

And this is my favorite day in Japan afterall. We went to Fushimi Inari by train and the comute was somewhat confusing because we should’ve had transit in 2 stations, we ended up getting off in the wrong station, 2 times, like a donkey. We arrived at Fushimi Inari a bit late, then we took some photos and bought some food from the local market near the gate. I got one big skewer of beef wagyu for only ¥500 and I still remember how delicious it was. We also bought some souvenirs there, argh all the souvenir shops in Japan are very cute and tempting. Then we headed to Arashiyama Bambo Forest. The bamboo forest was so-so, but I was impressed by the neighborhood around Arashiyama. Though it is tourist area, but the environment was very soothing and authentic, the momiji just enhanced the warm atmosphere, and the people was sooooo nice i could’ve hugged all of them. There are one road full of nice souvenir shops (still), no car passed by, just a few traditional rickshaw called jinrikisha pulled passionately by local man. Then we strolled around and ended in the popular Arabica coffee shop in Kyoto. The coffee shop was packed and it located by the lake. After we got our latte, we enjoyed it while comtemplating by the lake surrounded with momiji under the beautiful sky. The latte was so good itself and I was covered in joy. We had spare time at Kyoto so we decided to went back to Gion area just because we love it a lot. Last thing I knew, I already left my heart in Kyoto.

Day-5: Osaka

We spent full day at Osaka. This is basically our last day we have because tomorrow morning we already had to leave and it was the most freezing and stormy day we had in Japan. Even Japan was sad because we were about to go home :( Anyway we had so much fun and impressed by all Osaka has to offer. We had Matsuya for breakfast and dinner because we wanted to try all the menu and it was very cheap but also delicious haha and I tried natto for the first time! In the morning we decided to went to Don Quijote first to bought some (no, a lot) of souvenirs, then we went back to hotel to dropped the purchases and continued the itinerary. We went shopping at Shinsaibashi, strolled around Amerikamura, went to Umeda for the ferris wheel but too bad the ferris wheel was closed (yes our bad didn’t check the schedule) but Umeda is nice so we walked around Umeda. The day was getting dark, we were a bit confused where to go next, and we decided to go to Osaka Castle with zero expectation because it was dark and the museum was already closed. Turned out Osaka Castle remains beautiful in the dark, and we still mesmerized by the castle and its surroundings. We felt like we were living in kingdom era. Then our last destination is Shinsekai. It’s an old district built in 1912 with New York and Paris as the model, then neglected in decades afterwards. We just strolled around the neighborhood, it was full of restaurant, bar, spa, and other nightlife. Little did we know that Shinsekai is the most seedy and dangerous area in Osaka lol. Gratefully we arrived at our hotel safe and sound.

Day-6 & 7: Back to reality

NOOO i didn’t want this to be over, but life goes on and we had to leave Japan. But first thing first, we had breakfast at Matsuya for countless times haha. We also spent all our coins we had. Bought the things that hadn’t been bought yet in the last minute. What else to say... we headed to KIX and said our hardest goodbye to Japan. Still we had a good time in KIX, Changi, and in the airplane before we had to face the reality. The saddest part is, right after we landed safely in CGK and activated our phone, I received message from my family told me that my grandpa passed away that morning. Oops I’m sorry for ruining the ending :p All in all, this whole trip was a blast worth a lifetime.

What I love about Japan:

The food! It was all beyond my tongue could expect. 

The people was all friendly, kind, and *very* polite!!! *bowing sharply 90 degrees*

The vending machine you can find anything anywhere and the konbini store.

The technologies, facilities, transportation, cleanliness, they’re the best.

The balance coherence between the old and modern culture.

There are so many things Japan has to make you in love, but they say you don’t need a reason to love something (cringe).

Throughout my entire trip in Japan, it seemed like there was a balance between old and modern maintained by a strong appreciation of tradition from the times gone by. It’s something we’d never experienced in another country and made us instantly fall in love with Japan. It’s amazing to see two such extremes coexisting effortlessly and perfectly side by side. I was happy, delighted, amazed, surprised, and just plain impressed. I hope I can go back to Japan.

[sirius-archive]

Chaos Theory Pt. 4

Warnings: Swearing, Underaged drinking. 

Word Count: 6064 (holy Heck)

A/N: omg this is sooooo late I’m sorry guys. Like, really, I am. It’s been freaking insane and I’ve been literally going out of my god damn mind. Anyway, I finally got this finished so yay. Also, I could not find a translator that could properly communicate what I was trying to say so I’m sorry for people who actually speak Latin and read this and are like ....wtf??? 

Summary: While staying at the Burrow, Reader has an awkward interaction with Harry, and the Trio get into an argument of sorts. She thinks that things can’t get any worse until her father makes a surprise visit. 

Chapter Four:

On a good day, Adrien Arden is an award-winning journalist.

The charismatic and charming editor-and-chief of the largest source of wizarding news in the world. A clever leader adored by his colleagues and friends. A winner of several accolades for his service to the wizarding community and a personal friend of the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. He’s the handsome, brooding widower with eyes that have the ability to draw you in and a smile worth more than all the gold in Gringotts. During his years at Hogwarts, he had been destined for success; a Slytherin Prefect and Head Boy and was regarded fondly by peers and professors alike.

On a bad day, Adrien Arden is a father.

A perfectionist with standards higher than a crowd of rowdy teenagers at a Weird Sisters concert. A workaholic and a ghost who drifts in and out of your life like the tide; pulling you in when he thinks it’s necessary and pushing you away when he realizes it isn’t.

Sometimes, you pity Adrien Arden.

It must be such a lonely existence; to work and work without receiving a reward. To have such ravenous ambition that has consumed every aspect of your being, pushing you further and further until you reach the edge. To realize that he’s repelled all the people who matter away, to not realize that all those galleons that sparkle and glitter in the family vault are worthless compared to the love and respect of his two children.

And it’s this pity that motivates you to keep a calm and level-head. It’s this pity that compels you to be the good little daughter for the sake of relative peace. And it’s this pity that helps you realize that family is the only way to keep your mother’s wishes alive, even though she isn’t.

Luke, however, is not so forgiving.

You don’t think there was ever a time where Luke got along with your father. Perhaps they are too similar, and for this reason, they clash. Whatever the reason is, though, it’s clear that Luke hates Adrien with every cell in his being, and if anyone ever doubts that, then all they had to do is step into the Weasley’s kitchen and glimpse at the razor-sharp glare Luke is giving your father right now.  

A heavy tension blankets the room in uncomfortable warmth, grating against your skin like sandpaper, and you fiddle with your bracelet to expel the nervous energy tickling your fingertips. You can almost feel the anger igniting the air around Luke, stiffening his spine, sharpening the edges of his jaw, curling his hands into fists.

Mrs Weasley must sense it, too, because she rolls her sleeves up and flashes a dimpled smile, “I’ll let you three spend some quality time together.”

Luke scoffs but doesn’t say anything more, most likely out of respect for Mrs Weasley. Mrs Weasley hurries off as your father draws a carefully guarded smile across his lips. It’s polished and professional, much like he is.

“I’m so relieved that you’re all okay,” Adrien says, and for a moment you actually believe him.

“Took you a while to remember we exist,” Luke spits, indignantly. The insult bounces off Adrien’s layers like a Protego spell.

“I’ve been...busy at work,” he says, calmly, “I’m sure you can understand.”

A derisive scoff issues from the back of Luke’s throat.

“It’s okay, father,” you say, trying to keep your tone reassuring, “We know that you’re busy.”

“Too busy to be a father,” Luke mutters, darkly, not meeting his eye.

Adrien ignores the comment, “I don’t have a lot of time but I just wanted to check in and see how you’re both going. Did you have fun at the World Cup anyway?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, “it was nice. I mean, before all of the chaos it was actually a really lovely night.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Adrien smiles fondly.

“Oh, Mr Arden,” says a familiar voice from behind you, and a shy, blushing Hermione steps forward. Ron and Harry follow behind her.

“Hello Hermione,” Adrien flashes her a smile and nods at Ron and Harry, “Hullo boys. Good to see you three again. How are you all?”

Harry shrugs, “We’re good, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, considering the night we just had we’re not exactly going to be prancing around picking flowers and shooting rainbows out of our asses,” Luke snaps, coldly, and Adrien narrows his eyes on him, working his jaw, grinding back whatever he wants to say. 

A loud, obnoxious beeping startles you, and Adrien glances down at his screeching watch.

“That’s all I have time for, for now. I have to head back to the office and submit some papers.”

“Glad you could fit us into your tight schedule,” Luke scowls, “Just leave. No one wants you here anyway.”

Your father clears his throat and bends down to embrace you awkwardly. You wrap your arms lightly around his neck, wondering whether its normal for a fatherly embrace to feel like you’re hugging a pole. He pulls away quickly and straightens, moving toward Luke. Luke folds his arms across his chest and steps away, refusing to look at his father. Adrien heaves a heavy sigh.

“I’ll see you...later,” he says and he gives your friends a weary smile, “I’ll send you an owl.”

Adrien walks into the kitchen, thanks a blushing Mrs Weasley for her hospitality, and leaves. You turn to Luke.

“Well that was...” you trail off, silenced by the expression on Luke’s face. His mouth is screwed shut and his eyes are glaring daggers in the direction where your father left, “Luke?”

Luke isn’t listening, though. Instead, he charges forward, nearly knocking you aside, and strides toward the door.

“Luke!” You call out, but Luke reaches for the door knob, yanks it open and slams it shut in your face. You push it open and peek through the crack.

“Why did you really come?” Luke demands, storming up to his father, “You don’t just decide to pop in after weeks of not seeing us!”

Adrien sighs, exasperated, “It’s as I said; I really was concerned for your wellbeing. Both you and your sister.”

Luke lurches forward and for a moment, you think that he’s going to tackle Adrien to the ground in a fit of fury. Instead, he rises up to his father, spine straightened in deadly determination. “Keep my sister out of your rotten mouth.”

Adrien narrows his eyes coldly on your brother, like a sniper taking aim, “Is that a threat, boy? Because if it is, you’d better follow through with it. I did not raise a coward.”

Luke bristles, “You have no right to think of her as your daughter when I was the one who raised her. I looked after her and protected her and held her as she mourned. I was the one who took her to Diagon Alley, bought her her first wand and school robes. I did the job you were supposed to do while you wallowed in self-pity and abandoned us as though your own children were a burden, stopping you from your precious work.”

Adrien steels, a dark expression falling over his sharp features, “Lukas Adrien Arden, if you ever doubt my responsibilities as a father again, I will personally ensure that it is the last thing you do.”

Luke steps back from the looming figure of his father, “You’re up to something, I know it. And I’ll find out, I always do.”

Adrien’s entire demeanour shifts and an amused ghost of a smile teases the corners of his lips, “I don’t doubt that. You are my son after all.”

“I’m nothing like you,” Luke spits, venomously.

“Oh but you are,” Adrien clamps a hand on Luke’s shoulder. Luke struggles under Adrien’s grip, but his grasp is like a vice, locking Luke into submission, “And when the day comes that you realise you are, you’ll regret every bad word you’ve ever said to me.”

You stare as Luke jerks away from Adrien’s grip and staggers backwards. The tension is stifling, like an ominous cloud of thick fog creeping over you, and you have to physically step back from the door to remember how to breathe again.

It’s sort of distressing, seeing Luke so riled up when he’s usually so smooth and refined. He looks and acts like a completely different person like someone has hijacked Luke’s body and is puppeteering his words and actions. It’s a persona that emerges whenever your father is around, a defence mechanism Luke has carefully honed after years of loathing and disgust.

It’s...unhealthy. Unnatural. Worrying.

Stepping away from the door, you turn and start toward Luke’s room, hoping you’ll be able to chat with him later. You doubt you’ll have any luck but he needs to know that you’ll be there for him in all the ways he was for you. Before you can make it up the stairs, though, you walk into a nervous-looking Harry.

“Hey,” he says, tearing a hand through his hair.

“Hey,” you echo, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“I...wanted to apologise-” Harry starts, but you cut him off with a raised hand.

“-You seem to be apologising a lot, lately,” You say, and Harry’s lips quirk into a sheepish smile. You mimic it as you continue, “I don’t know what’s going on, and if you don’t want to tell me then I respect that. I just...I want you to know that you can talk to me. I’m here for you, I always have and I always will be.”

Harry hesitates for a moment, his mouth moving around silent words, as though he’s carefully stringing them together. Laughter echoes from the backyard, ringing through the silence. You’re just about to say something when Harry beats you to it, his voice low, “Follow me.”

Intrigued and a little surprised, you watch as Harry scales the winding stairs, the sound of the floorboards groaning in protest filling the growing distance between the two of you. You start to follow him until you reach his and Rons shared room and he pushes the door open, inviting you in. You climb onto his bed and Harry closes the door behind you, fidgeting nervously with his glasses. Something in his expression seems hesitant, as though he’s debating on what to say. You wait patiently.

“It’s my scar,” he finally murmurs, “It’s been hurting lately and– I think it may be connected to the attack at the World Cup.”

“Oh,” you say, trying to swallow back the distant ache throbbing in your throat, “Oh, Harry. This is...this is serious. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I was going to tell you,” Harry says, quickly, the words flying from his lips like a practised excuse, “In the Forrest when we were looking for the Portkey. But then...then Cedric came and I didn’t get a chance to talk to you alone.”

You study Harry for a long moment, eyes sweeping over his fidgeting form. He seems unsettled, a little nervous, perhaps hesitant, like he’s trying to tackle something on his tongue back into his throat. You figure it could just be his nerves, but you can’t help but wonder if he wants to say more.

“Is that what you guys were arguing about this afternoon?” You ask and Harry nods, “Why was Luke there?”

Harry blinks at you, “What?”

“Why was Luke there?” You reiterate, calmly, “I heard him arguing with you.”

Before he can answer, there is a tentative knock at the door and a moment later, Ginny’s head pokes out from behind it. A small blush blossoms beneath her freckled cheeks when she notices Harry but then her eyes drift toward you and she raises a sharp brow.

“Mum says dinner is ready,” she says, her voice soft.

“Okay,” you and Harry blurt at the same time and Ginny nods as she closes the door.

You slide off Harry’s bed and straighten, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

Harry chortles, his smile loose, relieved  “Yeah, I could really go for some roast chicken right about now.”

You smile at Harry, “Thanks for telling me.”

Harry nods and gives a half-hearted smile, “Thanks for listening.”

As you descend the staircase, chatting lightly and smiling easily, a sense of nostalgia overcomes you like a wave of warm sepia and it almost feels like old times without all the secrecy and nervous energy. It almost feels like, for a fleeting moment, it is just you and Harry and nothing between the two of you. 

Almost.

***

After a delicious dinner and a scrumptious dessert, you and Hermione sit in front of the fireplace, Hermione in the armchair and you sitting crossed-leg on the floor. Your Quidditch World Cup article sits in your lap as your eyes scan the parchment, reading and re-reading. 

“Is Luke okay?” Hermione suddenly asks, not even trying to clip the worry from her voice, “He wasn’t himself at dinner.”

You look up from your work, pushing your hair off your face, “He always gets like that around my dad,” you admit with a small shrug, pretending that it doesn’t bother you, “He just needs his space.”

Hermione nods, though there is an expression of worry creeping over her face and you study her, noting her features carefully. Before you can question her, Fred sidles up to the two of you, eyes glinting mischievously.

“Hey you two,” he greets, smirking wolfishly, “We’ve got a couple bottles of booze and absolutely no regrets. Wanna join us?”

“Please tell me this isn’t a giant orgy or something,” you retort and Hermione blushes furiously.

“Nah,” Fred shakes his head with a grin, “Though I’m open for persuasion.”

You snort and shake your head, smiling, “Only in my nightmares.”

Fred clutches his chest in mock hurt, “Aw, we could have been something special.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“And what exactly are we going to do?” Hermione asks, her brows raised expectantly. Fred straightens importantly.

“Get pissed.”

“She was only asking,” you quip and Fred rolls his eyes.

“Get sloshed. Buzzed. Wasted. Inebriated. Intoxicated,” he narrows his eyes pointedly at you, “Drunk. What else are you supposed to do with fire whiskey? Bathe in it? Because we’ve tried and it’s not…good.”

“But we’re underage?” Hermione says, eying Fred suspiciously.

“So?” Fred shrugs, “You’ve already broken the law by helping a wanted fugitive escape, not to mention several hundred school rules. What’s another stupid law?”

A pale pink blush tickles the apples of her cheeks and Hermione averts her gaze, “Right.”

“Come on guys,” Fred whines, imploring you with large, pleading eyes, “You’re always putting yourselves in constant danger. Why not relax for the night?”

“He’s got a point,” you shrug, turning to Hermione. She chews her bottom lip thoughtfully, giving Fred an appraising look. Finally, she glances at you and gives a small nod.  

“Alright,” she says, lifting her chin slightly, more confidently, “but I’m filling my own glass. I don’t want you pouring me a drink.”

“Why? Don’t you trust us?” Fred asks, grinning wickedly.

“You don’t want me to answer that question.”

Fred shakes his head, forlornly, “All you young whipper-snappers going around and breaking an old man’s heart.”

“As (Y/N) said, ‘You’ll get over it.’”

You bark a laugh and high-five Hermione. Fred wipes an imaginary tear away and pouts exaggeratedly.

“We’re meeting at 11pm,” Fred leans in and lowers his voice to a not-so-quiet whisper, “That way, mum and dad will be asleep, and they won’t get suspicious.”

With a smirk and a wink, Fred whirls off and saunters out of the room. You watch him leave, nibbling your bottom lip, twirling and twisting your bracelet between your nimble fingers. Somehow, for some reason, you have a feeling that the night isn’t going to go as smoothly as Fred thinks.

***

At ten to eleven, you, Hermione and Ginny tip-toe out of her bedroom and make a slow start to the stairs.

The corridor looks odd like this; cloaked in darkness and completely void of sound or movement. The Burrow has always felt alive, pulsing with life as though it were a heart pumping blood through the veins of the house. Come night time, that heart seems to falter to a stop, leaving the house eerily quiet. You shiver.

“This is weird,” you whisper, “It’s so quiet. I feel like I’m walking through a graveyard.”

Ginny shudders, and in the pale light of your wand, you see her face contort into a scowl, “Thanks for the commentary. Now I feel paranoid in my own house.”

“It’s okay,” Hermione murmurs, softly, “Mrs Weasley and Mr Weasley are here, too, don’t forget.”

“That makes me feel even better,” Ginny drawls, sardonically, “If a murderer doesn’t leap out and slaughter me where I stand, my mum will.”

“No one is going to kill anyone–” 

A loud groan interrupts Hermione mid-speech and you all jump, spinning around to face the source of the noise. Clamping a hand over your mouth, you muffle your shriek as Hermione gasps and staggers backwards toward the railing and Ginny fumbles with her wand. It slips from between her fingers like a stick of butter and clatters on the ground. Heart racing, you raise your wand and heave a sigh of relief.  

Harry and Ron both stare at the three of you, eyes wide, faces flushed and chests heaving. Harry bends down and grabs Ginny’s wand, handing it to her with a gentle smile. Ginny squeaks a breathless ‘Thank you,’ and darts back to your side. Ron gawks at you, his expression somewhere between bemusement and frustration.

“Bloody hell,” Ron curses under his breath, “It’s just us.”

“Well don’t sneak up on us!” you hiss, “You nearly scared us to death!”

“Sorry,” Harry mumbles, sheepishly, “Let’s just go before we get caught.”

You start toward the stairs and begin descending the creaking staircase. 

Somehow, every step you make seems to amplify, ringing through the house like a blaring siren, as though the house is designed to alert Mr and Mrs Weasley that their children are sneaking out after curfew. Trying to balance on the tips of your toes, you slowly descend the never-ending staircase, contemplating whether it was such a good idea to leave the comfort of your bed in the first place.

“Luke seemed kind of off at dinner tonight,” Harry mutters leaning forward, “Is he…y’know?”

“He just hates my dad,” You whisper back, surprised that Harry noticed. You’re about to make a joke out of it but Hermione shushes you into silence from over her shoulder. As she turns back, though, she misses a step and stumbles forward.

“Hermione–!” Ron gasps from behind you and you listen for a loud thump, but it never comes. You direct your wand to the end of the staircase and find Hermione lying in someone’s arms.

“Oh, Luke,” Hermione murmurs, flustered, several shades of red rippling across her face, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiles softly at her and she straightens, brushing down her clothes and combing a finger through her hair.

You all reach the bottom of the staircase and playfully punch Luke in the shoulder, “Looks like she fell for you.”

To your surprise, Luke doesn’t respond to your terrible joke. He just scowls and shakes his head, moving toward the back door. You blink at him and follow.

“C’mon, really? Nothing?” you ask as he pushes the door open, “No ‘I thought you were better than corny puns?’”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Luke murmurs, stalking through the backyard and toward the tree house. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Hermione asks beside you, watching him with concern in her eyes.

You chew your bottom lip nervously, “I–I don’t know…”

The tree house is actually a lot safer than it looks, which is oddly ironic since Fred and George give no consideration to safety whatsoever.

Thick planks of wood are nailed to a gap in the large tree as though they are sitting in its palm, branches stretching like fingers around it. There is a wooden railing that surrounds the platform, fairy lights intertwined around it. Alternative pop music plays on low, the sound prevented from leaving the treehouse by the silencing charm Fred had cast, containing it in a bubble of sorts. There are light bulbs, all different shapes and sizes, strung together and hanging from the branches overhead that act as a roof. Right in the centre of the ‘roof’ is a large hole that brags a beautiful view of the midnight sky, freckled with stars.

It’s actually kind of beautiful. Serene, almost.

You down the rest of the drink and raise your chin to the stars, lost in their beauty. You can almost feel the stardust raining down on you, sinking into your skin, filling you up with a beautiful, ethereal light, like there is an entire galaxy bursting to life inside of you. You’re not sure if it’s the fire whiskey humming in your veins or not but you feel like you could just step off the balcony of the treehouse and float away.  

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” a familiar voice says from beside you, and you turn to find George Weasley gazing up at the stars with you, an expression of awe painted across his face, “Do you know who else is beautiful?”

“Please, don’t finish that sentence and ruin this beautiful moment,” you murmur and George snorts.

“You don’t like hearing compliments about yourself?”

“I don’t like cheesy pickup lines.”

George shrugs, “That’s fair. Though I was going to say that I was beautiful but never mind.”

You chortle, shaking your head and grinning broadly at him. He echoes it, lips curving into a grin you may never get tired of seeing, “You really know how to cheer a girl up, don’t you?”  

“Only the ones I like,” George smiles softly, softer than anything you’ve ever seen him wear.

“Well, I’m grateful anyhow.”

George drapes an arm over your shoulders and pulls you to his side protectively, provoking a laugh to burst boisterously from your lips.

“So, are you and Cedric…?”

You flush, cheeks burning, “I–I don’t really know…”

“Well, just so you know, he talks about you a lot,” George says, “Our friend, Juniper Cross. You know Juniper?” You nod, recalling the beautiful Hufflepuff in George’s year, “Anyway, she says he talks about you like you ‘put the stars in the sky.’ His words, not mine.”

An odd, sort of airy feeling circles around you and floods you like helium, lighter than air, ascending the five layers of the atmospheres and disappearing into the universe.

The moment is broken by Fred, who yanks another bottle of fire whiskey from a crate and holds it over his head.

“Who’s up for a game of ‘Never have I Ever?”

“What’s that?” Hermione asks and Fred blinks at her.

“You’ve never played ‘Never Have I Ever?’” George asks, bewildered, “Hermione, what have you been doing with your life?”

“Never Have I Ever is a classic drinking game,” Luke says, sitting beside Hermione, “Basically, you have to say something that you’ve never done and everyone who has done said thing has to drink. For instance, if I say ‘Never have I ever… snogged a girl from France’–”

“–We would call you a liar,” Fred interjects, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“–Everyone who has snogged a girl from France would have to take a drink.”

“And we would call them liars,” George sniggers and you snort, bumping his fist with your own.

“The person with the most alcohol left in their glass wins,” Luke continues, ignoring the snickering Weasley twins.  

“And if you say a ‘Never have I ever’ and no one else has done it either, you have to drink from everyone’s glass,” Fred smirks deviously, and Hermione raises her brows, her fingers finding the hem of her sleeves.

Luke studies her with benevolent eyes, his past frustration melting off his shoulders like ice in the early spring, “If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to play.”

A gentle shade of soft pink flourishes on the apples of Hermione’s cheeks and her lips quirk into an awkward smile, “No, it’s okay. I’ll play.”

“Are you sure? We’re all friends here, and we want you to be comfortable,” Luke smiles, reassuringly.

Hermione nods, and George claps a brotherly hand on Luke’s shoulder, “Ever the gentleman. If I wasn’t in an exclusive relationship with myself, I would totally date you, man. Like, put out and everything.”

Luke just gives a half-hearted smile and a modest shrug. He looks like such a different person to the Luke you saw earlier that day, seething threats at his own father and brewing in a venomous mood. Even when you met him in the kitchen earlier that night, Luke had seemed guarded and brooding and nothing like the sweet, considerate and boyishly charming man he is with Hermione.

You all sit crossed-leg on the ground in a circle and, with a looming sense of doom, you find yourself sitting between Fred and George, an unsavoury position for anyone to be in. Before you can escape to the other side of the circle, Fred and George begin filling up several glasses and hand them around the group. Fred pauses in front of Ginny, sculling her fire whiskey with a wince and filling her glass with chocolate milk. Ginny folds her arms across her chest, glaring dangerously at her brother.  

“No alcohol for anyone under 14,” Fred says, wagging a finger at Ginny, “It rots your brain.”

“Good thing you don’t have one, then,” Ginny grumbles, rolling her eyes and snatching the glass of milk out of her brothers’ hand. Once everyone has their glass, the game begins. Unsurprisingly, George volunteers to go first.

“Never have I ever…met a Norwegian Ridgeback dragon called ‘Norbert’, tried to smuggle Norbert out of Hogwarts but got caught in the process and consequently lost Gryffindor one hundred points,” he says before adding, “Oh, and got sent to detention, too.”

You, Hermione, and Harry exchange guilty glances and take a swig of your drinks. The fiery liquid surges down your throat like molten lava and pools delightfully in your lower belly, the alcohol crackling in your veins.

“Technically, I wasn’t there when they tried to smuggle Norbert out,” Ron argues, raising his arm to reveal the thin scar knitted into his skin, “Norbert bit me, so I was in the Hospital wing.”

“You still met him,” George points out and Ron’s confident expression falls, grumbling as he takes a sip from his cup.  

“Alright, Harry, you’re up next,” Fred grins, pointing at Harry with his glass.

Harry’s brows furrow as he thinks, the tip of his tongue poking out between the soft cushions of his lips. Once again, Harry seems so…relaxed. Perhaps it’s the alcohol, or the company, or both, but it’s a relief to see him so unguarded and it shows in how easily he’s smiling, how warm and inviting his gaze is. And when he catches your eye, his lips quirk up into a small smile and it feels…nostalgic.

It feels like it used to.

“Never have I ever…been kicked out of a bar?”

Fred and George groan in unison and take a swig of their drinks. To everyone’s surprise, Ginny does, too. While the rest of the group gapes at Ginny, their jaws slack and eyes wide in disbelief, Ginny gives a nonchalant shrug, her eyes glistening in the low light as she recalls the moment.

“I may or may not have hexed a certain, misogynistic Ravenclaw who was getting on my nerves,” she gives a sharp, cat-like smirk, resembling her rebellious, older brothers “I don’t regret anything.”

Fred and George pretend to sob tears of pride as they slap Ginny on the back, “Look at how far our precious, little sister has come. We taught you well.”

The game moves around the circle, jokes and laughter thick in the summer air as your drinks slowly begin to dwindle.

When it finally reaches Fred, he flashes a scheming grin, and he raises a confident brow, “Never have I ever…had a crush on Cedric Diggory…”

Everyone narrows their eyes on you expectantly. You sigh, rolling your eyes as Fred sniggers devilishly.

“Fuck you, Fred!” you snip, throwing the rest of your drink back. Your head spins in languid circles as try not to splutter, and in the warm ambience of the room, your eyes find Harry’s; gazes colliding for a long, lingering moment. Harry doesn’t shy away, in fact, he’s the boldest you’ve seen him since the World Cup, and something hooks around your lower belly, yanking it up into your throat.

“Okay, (Y/N), your turn,” Fred juts his chin at your glass and eyes you hopefully. You heave a sigh.

“Alright. Um…” you pause thoughtfully, and then your lips pull into a grin when you catch Ginny’s eyes, “Never have I ever…had a crush on someone in this room.”

Fred and George stare at Ginny and she sighs, taking a swig of her chocolate milk. She pokes her tongue out at you playfully and you give her an apologetic look. She shrugs nonchalantly, though she doesn’t seem entirely bothered. Strange, you think, she must be getting over Harry. You never really anticipated that.

You never anticipated Hermione and Harry taking a nervous sip from their drinks, either.

“Woah,” George says, eyes flitting between the two of them, “What’s going on here?”

They seem hesitant in their answer, weighing their options, gauging each other for a response like they’re dancing tentatively around the subject. You and Ron exchange a surprised look, the tips of Ron’s ears an odd shade of red. Something tight and nasty coils inside of you like a sleeping snake.

Hermione and Harry exchange a look, and Harry shrugs “Nothing. We’re just answering the question.”

You blink at Harry, then at Hermione. They seem to be avoiding your gaze, eyes darting around the room like they’re trying to pull excuses from the air around them. Is that what all the secrecy is about? Are they…?

“So you both have had a crush on someone in this room?”

“Er…” Harry flicks a glance at Hermione and then sweeps his gaze to you before hastily averting your gawking stare, “…yes? Why?”

“Huh,” Fred shrugs, “No reason.”

Hermione frowns, “What? It’s not like we like each other.”

“Whatever you say, Hermione.”

Hermione’s mouth twists into a thin frown and Harry furrows his brows at Fred’s blatant, off-handed remark. Tension has steeled his spine like an iron rod and he fidgets uncomfortably, his nervous mannerisms unspooling as time seems to drag by. The sepia-stained nostalgia that you had so willingly embraced begins to crumble the more he glances between Hermione and Ron, and the needlepoint sting of hurt pricks the inside of your wrist.

“Um, I think it’s your turn, George,” Ron says, quickly, nervously glancing at Harry. Does Ron know something–?

George nods importantly and continues the game, but you’re still rooted in time. As everyone else takes their turn, your eyes continue to stray to Harry, studying, observing, realising, that this is so much more than his scar. His cheeks are rosy, flushed pink from the alcohol and embarrassment, his eyes a startling shade of green against the sun-kissed skin of his face and the electric shock of dishevelled, black hair and as you study him, your head begins to spin.

You take a long swig of your drink, gulping back your anxiety, wishing that you had trusted your gut in the first place. 

***

Somehow, you make it back to your room without making a complete fool of yourself.

Hermione’s avoided you for most of the night, though you can tell that she’s nervous by the way she chews her bottom lip; it’s red and raw, the moon-crescent bite marks curved into the delicate skin of her lower lip. You want to talk to her, to ask about the secrecy, but your head feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton and your eyes are like heavy golf balls stuck into your skull and you really just want to sleep–

You pull your camisole over the top of your head and rip your bra off, an envelope falling out from its grasp.

“Oh,” you say, to no one in particular, “My letter.”

Between the visit from your dad and the Weasley’s drinking game, you had completely forgotten about it. Bending down, you scoop it off the ground and study the envelope. Your name and address are writing in elegant curlicue cursive to the point where it’s nearly unreadable. You squint, following the loops and curls, and turn the envelope over. No return address. Odd. You open it anyway, unfold the letter…

And gasp.  

It doesn’t make sense.

Your stomach is twisted into a tight, thick knot, heavy in your abdomen, weighing like an anchor plummeting to the ocean floor. Ice gushes through the deltas of your veins as though it were blood pulsing through the arteries of a cold-blooded monster, freezing your spine, paralysing you.

You can’t tear your eyes away. 

You stare down at a photo of you and Cedric at the World Cup, stained in shades of black and grey, frozen in time, smiles fixed onto your faces. And it would have been a beautiful photo, it really had, if it weren’t for the blood-red insignia scarring the back of the photo; a snake eating itself, circling around what looks like a cross between a Scarab and a skull moth.

And, beneath it, eight words strung together, bleeding into the paper like a wound.

Mus uni non habeat fiduciam autem serpens esuriit

A mouse does not trust a hungry snake

Suddenly, you wish you were drunk again.

@marauderskeeper @weaselby418 @acciorinn @hervench @harrvjpotter @depressed-octopods-art (i’m sorry i didn’t tage you before!! i just realised you replied to one of the posts!) @romanofftasha @moonpeachs

[bastionkeeper]

Kintsugi

@mykindofcontent and I wrote this fic together. Kravitz expresses a concern about how dating Taako has made reaping hard, as his bounties always threaten the love of his life. Taako, always the drama queen and emotionally repressed elf does what he thinks is a solution and only makes things worse. Will breaking up really help things?

Kravitz paced hurriedly across the bedroom floor. One arm folded over his chest, the other gripping his chin, his eyebrows were furrowed as he thought. He shouldn’t have been home yet, not really, but it had been the third time in two weeks he’d had to call Lup and Barry to take over one of his cases. It was getting out of hand. He never needed help before. Now he had to rely on his two new subordinates just to bring in a small fry bounty.

He scowled at himself. The ones he had to give up all had one thing in common.

They all knew him as Taako’s trophy man.

Some amount of fame was expected when getting involved with the seven extraplanar beings that saved all of existence, but Taako seemed to thrive off the attention, and death worked better in the shadows.

It shouldn’t have mattered, really. He should have been able to date whoever he pleased and have it not matter at all. If only it was that easy.

There were those that simply didn’t take him seriously because of his romantic position and that was easy enough, even the most well-read gossiper wet their pants at the sight of a flaming skeleton.

Then there were those that made things personal, made it clear that if he continued to track them they would take the man that set his heart beating and break him.

He could have trusted that Taako was strong enough to take care of himself, but part of him refused to take that chance. He let them go each time, and it was starting to get dangerous.

His love was his weakness, and that was a terrible thing to say. Kravitz hated the idea that a person could be a weakness, it was selfish and cruel...but it also had a truth to it.

His nervous pacing came to a stop as he heard the front door opening. Taako was home. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. There was no reason to breach this subject yet, not when he didn’t have any solution in mind. It would just make Taako worry.

He couldn’t help a small part of himself that felt guilty. Taako had been acting distant and Kravitz knew the elf well enough to know it was because of his own behavior. Taako always drew back and guarded himself if he thought something was wrong, he would never confront it until Kravitz was ready.

“You home early again?” Taako’s voice came from the living room. “You keep slacking off just to see lil ol’ me and Lup will be employee of the month before you know it.”

Kravitz tried to laugh, still feeling preoccupied as Taako made his way into the room. “I believe we’ve been over this dear, the Raven Queen doesn’t have employee’s of the month.” “That’s because she hasn’t had more than one employee before~” Taako spared a moment between the banter to press a kiss to Kravitz’s check. Kravitz was aware of the way Taako’s eyes searched him suspiciously, knowing things were not as calm as they seemed. He had the eyes of a rabbit ready to run at any second, back to hide in its burrow.

Kravitz hated seeing him so on edge, and even more hated being the cause of it. He wanted to be Taako’s safe space, somewhere he could drop his act. Taako normally trusted Kravitz enough to show him his real face, the one behind the glamour that hid dark circles and scars. Lately though, the magical and emotional glamour had been intact.

Maybe it was time to get it out in the open, he didn’t want Taako to agonize over an invisible problem for weeks.

“Sweetheart, can we talk?” Kravitz said, steeling himself. “I promise it’s nothing bad, please don’t worry, something has just been bothering me and I’m sure you notice... “

“Krav, honey, nothing makes a man worry more than the phrases ‘we need to talk’ and ‘I promise it’s chill don’t sweat it’,” Taako joked, masterfully hiding any signs of nervousness. “But you know you can tell me anything anyway.”

Kravitz tried to laugh off the comment, but he could tell he wasn’t fooling anyone. “It’s...about work. About why I’ve been...home more.”

“Did bird mom fire you since Lup is so much better?” Taako’s words came out teasing, but his stance tensed. He forced himself to keep the playful smile on his face.

“She might,” Kravitz said, only half kidding. He didn’t think he could be fired per se, but he certainly would be in trouble if this kept happening. His Queen was patient, and she understood the position he was in, but it couldn’t last forever. “Things have gotten… difficult since the news we’re dating started spreading. Some of my bounties have started using the knowledge to their advantage.”

“Like...no more flirting with death?” Taako made another joke, but Kravitz could see it in his eyes. He knew what this was about and he was already making an escape plan, a way to fix it all without ever having to talk about how he felt. The joking was just stalling for time while he planned. He loved his boyfriend, his silly complicated boyfriend who never just took the straightforward way out.

Kravitz shrugged. “It’s just been hard. Not so much hard as it is frustrating.” He confessed. “I’ve been doing this job for so long and suddenly I feel almost incapable. I’m not used to-” He stopped himself, thinking over his words.

“Not used to people having stuff against death huh?” Taako helpfully added.

“Yes, exactly! I was this mysterious being of Death, everyone was scared of me. It was better that way, my job is supposed to be straight forward. I’m not supposed to get nervous whenever someone knows your name and threatens you.” Kravitz sighed. “Back before I had attachments...just had the job, that wasn’t an option for them.”

Taako took a step away, trying to feign a look of boredom to cover his hurt. “So I’m a problem then?”

Kravitz groaned. “You know that isn’t what I meant, Taako.”

Taako shrugged. “Alright my man. Well...I have to go get some stuff for dinner, okay? Can we finish this later?” Taako couldn’t stay in that room much longer without showing his cards. He had to go think about what to do about this.

“W-we don’t have to talk about it any further,” Kravitz said, “I’m just...venting about a bad day. You don’t have to try and fix it.”

I want to fix it, I want to help the same way you always help me. Taako thought as he backed towards the door. “Cool, cool, because I hate talking about your work no offense.” He didn’t know it yet, but that was just the first blow he would deal tonight. He tried to ignore the hurt look on Kravitz’s face. “I’m gonna get stuff for dinner.” He said quickly, making his escape.

Taako made his way to the store automatically, not really thinking about it. He wasn’t after any ingredients, he was after a solution. He didn’t want Kravitz to suffer because of his “big Taako personality” that always sucked everything up like a black hole. Kravitz deserved a better life than that, his own life. How could he give that to him?

As he passed the liquor aisle an idea sprouted in his mind. He shook it off at first, it was too painful to even consider...but...he loved Kravitz right? Loved him enough to….let him go? Taako always did fine on his own...right? Would it be better if he just wasn’t selfish about things and toughed it out on his own again? Besides, he had his sister back, and his family. If this meant Kravitz could be happy, that was worth it… right?

Taako made up his mind, he started filling his basket with wine that he wasn’t going to really drink until much later, after he’d already ripped off the band-aid.

It didn’t take much to disguise himself as a selfish drunken asshole. A little dab of wine behind his ears and on his tongue to make him reek of booze, a bottle half emptied into the gutter, and the sharpest words from his repertoire.

He stood in front of the door to his….to their house gathering up the will to do what needed to be done.

He made a show of stumbling through the front door, freezing as he saw Kravitz.

He was used to this by now, having come home a thousand times to see his boyfriend just humming to himself as he cleaned or read or did nearly anything else, but somehow this time it felt different. This time he could feel his heart ache when he heard Kravitz stop humming, when he came over to Taako with a concerned look on his beautiful face.

“Taako?”

Taako took a deep breath, and he started. “Wha’ are you still doin’ here? I thought you were married to your work.” He took a swig from the open bottle in his hand, pretended to stumble in an attempt to lean against the doorframe.

Kravitz tried to reach out and take Taako’s arm to steady him, but he jerked away. “How much have you had?” He asked.

“Not enough.” Taako took another drink, knowing he’d need it. “Hey, no big deal if I...uh...if I overdue it right? Since you’re sooooo much better off without attachments.” he made air quotes with his fingers. “Ha, just like meeeee. No wonder we hit it off, bone-man. We both don’t need...any...anybody.”

Kravitz sighed and rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache come on. “You’re twisting my words, and I really don’t think we should have this conversation while you’re drunk.” He paused. “Or maybe we should since you won’t talk to me otherwise.”

Shit Taako thought. Kravitz was about to be the good guy, cart him off to bed and be there in the morning with a cup of coffee to talk it out open and honestly when he was sober. He couldn’t let that happen, he had to push him past the point of forgiveness.

Taako drew his arm back, and being careful not to hit Kravitz or anything near him, he threw his bottle at the wall and watched it shatter, spraying red all over the room.  “Fuck you! Not my fault I can’ talk to you unless m’drunk!”

Kravitz had flinched away, now he whipped his head back around to look at Taako with wide surprised eyes. Taako could see fire dancing in his eyes, the way it did when Kravitz was staring down a bounty, not his boyfriend. “What is the matter with you?”

“Fuck off, I’m perf...Taako brand, baby,” Taako stumbled forward, pushing Kravitz roughly aside. He moved to the kitchen, pretending he didn’t care enough to stick around and watch Kravitz react. He just pretended to search for more booze. It also gave him an excuse to not look Kravitz in the eye and see the hurt there.

Kravitz grabbed Taako’s arm, pulling him away from the fridge. “If you want to talk, then talk. Clearly something is bothering you enough that you...You...went and got yourself pissed." He sounded frustrated, slipping into his cockney accent without thinking.

Taako struggled against Kravitz’s grip. “Lemme go you ass.”

Kravitz let go, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He didn’t want this to escalate any further. He could feel his frustration from the past few weeks at work threatening to spill.

Before he could think his actions through, Taako shoved Kravitz hard. “Fuck you! You think you can put your hands on me? I get you were super lonely before yours truly but don’t forget who I am, I have a million suitors, I could drop you easy.”

Kravitz practically snarled. “Oh yes, how could I possibly forget who you are when no one will let me forget! I may as well be dust next to the great self-important Taako!”

Taako bit his lip, he’d done it. He’d broken down his sweet loving boyfriend....pushed him past the point of forgiving him. He could do this, he could break Kravitz’s heart in such a way that it would mend but never again trust Taako.

“I might have been lonely before I met you, but at least I actually had compassion even without a working heart. What’s your excuse for being so horrible?” Kravitz continued.

Any heart Taako had shattered into a million pieces. Maybe he was pushing this too far? He started to panic, his breath picking up as he remembered all the horrible things he’d said and done tonight. “A celebrity who saved the goddamn universe doesn’t need a heart, just more fucking alcohol.”

Kravitz drew away, a disgusted look on his face. “How could I have been so blind to have fallen for someone like you. I should have known when I met you that you were just what you appeared to be. A selfish, cruel, ignorant little mortal who couldn’t give a damn if his life depended on it. Or maybe only if HIS life depended on it and nobody else's….”

Kravitz looked Taako dead in the eyes “...I should never have gone to that pottery shop with you.”

Taako broke then, he had to turn towards the counter to keep Kravitz from seeing the tears in his eyes.

“Fuck, Taako, was this some game to you? Did you just want to charm me for immortality? I… I loved you.”

Taako pressed a hand over his mouth, forcing himself to remain still. Did that mean Kravitz stopped loving him? So easily?

“...Leave,” he whispered, barely audible.

“What?”

“I said leave!” at least Taako had an excuse for crying now, he could turn around and face Kravitz without giving it all away. He whirled around, tears flying from his eyes. “Get the fuck out of here! I never want to see your stupid face again. Especially not in my house.”

Kravitz wordlessly summoned his scythe without ever looking away from Taako. He cut open a portal and just like that he was gone.

Taako stood there for several heavy seconds after Kravitz left, his whole body shaking. He fell to the ground soon after, and had just enough presence of mind to struggle back up to his feet and get a glass of water. He threw it back, coming up gasping for air with a throat made raw by stifled tears.

Breaking up with Kravitz wasn’t what made this hard. What made it hard was hearing Kravitz’s angry, honest thoughts. Did he really believe Taako was using him? After all this time?

Had he done the right thing?

“I love you Taako and...I think at this point everyone in reality is going to love you and...nothing’s gonna change that.”

Fuck this, Taako was ready to get drunk for real. He wasn’t stopping until he didn’t even remember his own name let alone Kravitz’s. He was going to get void-fish drunk and then he was going to sleep until it stopped hurting.

Lup suspected something was wrong when Kravitz didn’t show up for work, but her suspicions only grew when Taako didn’t answer her call.

Taako always answered, sometimes even when Lup rather he didn’t. She spoke into the stone again, hoping to get him. “Taako come on, whatever sex you’re having can’t be THAT good.”

She frowned at the stone in her grip, looking over at Barry. “I’m gonna go check on him. I don’t care if I get scarred for life.”

Stepping into Taako’s house was like stepping into a nightmare.

First of all, she nearly broke her neck when she stepped out of the portal and onto an empty bottle. Then there was the glass shards everywhere, and the dirty dishes no one had bothered to do with food no one had bothered to finish still on them.

Panic seized her. “Taako?!” She called loudly, floating over the disastrous floor towards her brother’s room.

There was no answer, but she realized as she entered the bedroom that that was because Taako didn’t feel like answering.

He was awake, sitting in front of his bed with his back against the frame. He had the blanket wrapped around him like an enormous cloak, and he was staring deep into a bottle of vodka as if it was a magic mirror. He looked gaunt, and the bags under his eyes were terrible. His hair looked unwashed and was tangled to hell. He didn’t look up as his sister entered.

“Taako, talk to me,” Lup said, kneeling down and grabbing her brother’s shoulder.

He tried to speak and ended up coughing instead, his throat sore. He tried again. “Why does doing the right thing hurt so fucking bad?” He whispered.

“What did you do?” Lup asked, but Taako only looked down at the ground in shame. “Taako. What. Did. You. Do?”

Her brother started crying, soft and slow like he’d already used up most of his tears. Lup felt her heart ache, and she stood up.

“Alright. Shower. Now.”

“Lup…”

“Taako I swear to god I’ll strip and carry you if I have to, get your ass in the shower and you don’t get to take that.” she snatched the bottle from his hands and before he could grab it back she walked to the window and poured it out.

“Hey!” Taako yelled, wobbling to his feet. It wasn’t hard for Lup to grab him and toss him over her shoulder.

“Alright, since you wanna be difficult…” she carried Taako to the shower and dropped him inside, flicking on the water and drenching Taako and his clothes.

Taako groaned. “I can do this myself, just toss in some new clothes.”

“Use soap, don’t just stand there and pout!” Lup ordered as she left the room.

First she searched the closet and found a simple pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt she suspected was Kravitz’s to toss into the bathroom. Then she set about cleaning the mess her brother had made of his expensive house.

The uneaten food broke her heart. Not only was Taako not eating, but he wasn’t even really cooking. It was all instant food, convenience store crap. The broken glass was bad too, it looked like Taako had tossed a whole bottle at something or someone. That was the only bottle he’d wasted by the look of all the other empties around the place.

As the water turned off she heard a screech that sent her running back into the room.

“Literally any other shirt!” Taako yelled as he threw the shirt at Lup and slammed the bathroom door shut again.

Her stomach twisted. Now she had a better idea what had caused her brother’s breakdown, even if she didn’t know the specifics. There was only one reason why Taako wouldn’t want Kravitz’s shirt.

She found another shirt, one she remembered clearly was Magnus’s. She left it on the doorknob and went to the kitchen to make something that might soak up all the alcohol in her brother’s stomach. As she cooked she sent a quick message to Barry, telling him she wouldn’t be working today and to try and find Kravitz if he could.

Taako took awhile to come out and Lup was pretty sure it was because of his outburst from earlier.

He lurched like a zombie into the kitchen, giving her food a baleful look before getting himself a glass of water and retreating back to the bedroom.

Or at least he tried to before Lup hooked a finger into the collar of his shirt and stopped him in his tracks.

“Sit.” she ordered, pointing to the nearby table.

Taako obeyed his sister’s order but just buried his head into his arms once he’d sat down. Lup filled a plate for him, she’d made some simple breakfast foods guessing this would be Taako’s first meal of the day at….well, well past noon.

She placed it in front of him and then sat in the opposite chair, steepling her fingers in front of her and waiting patiently for Taako to sit up.

“C’mon Ko, we both know you can’t resist my cinnamon walnut pancakes,” she said, letting her tone become playful. “Remember cycle 43? You died trying to get walnuts from the local and very mean natives just so I could make them.”

He sat up and stared at the pancakes, then back at his sister. “I’m not hungry.” He said simply. “I don’t want to talk Lup, I don’t want to eat. Just let me drink and rot away in peace.”

Lup slammed her palms against the table, jostling the silverware and startling Taako.

“Taako, I know you’re feeling real shitty right now but just look at me for a second?” she said, her voice like a fire raising up. “Do you see my face? Same as your face, right? Because we’re twins. We’re siblings. We shared the same womb, we shared the same life, and we share everything else we have because that’s what siblings do. What siblings do not do is let their brothers drink themselves to death because of some breakup.”

At the mention of the break up Taako looked away, using one hand to cover his face. “You can’t, you can’t just say that like he’s any other guy! You can’t, he’s not dust like everyone else was okay?! Don’t treat him like that.”

“Why did you break up, Taako?”

“He wasn’t happy.” He choked out, still refusing to make eye contact.

“Did he say that to you?”

“He didn’t have to…”

“Oh, Koko… “ Lup sighed. “He was never happier than when he was talking about you. What could’ve made you think differently?”

“My track record for the first part,” Taako laughed coldly. “He told me...people were using me to get off scot free from death. He told me no one feared him anymore and that he wasn’t able to do his job, and that he was too busy worrying about me to...feel anything else.”

There was a pregnant pause before Taako spoke up again. “I made myself the center of his universe...just like I always do...and I ruined it for him.”

Lup reached across the table and took Taako’s hand in hers. “Why didn’t you say that to him then?”

“Because he’d just find a way to tell me I was wrong?” Taako laughed a bit, tears in his eyes. “Because...he’s such a good guy he...he always makes me feel better...but I needed him to feel better this time. I needed him to move on and not miss me so he could be happy...that’s why I…” he trailed off, pursing his lips.

Lup frowned. “I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think he’s very happy… He hasn’t been to work in days.”

“What?” Taako’s ears lifted in surprise, the highest Lup had seen them since she’d arrived here.

“No one knows where he is,” Lup said. “I kind of assumed he was here… But he clearly isn’t, and hasn’t been.”

“Well, we have to find him,” Taako said, standing up quickly.

“Should be a bit easier now that I know how you were living,” Lup said. “He’s probably hiding out somewhere being miserable.”

Taako swore softly. “I fucked up… Lup I fucked up so badly.”

She patted his shoulder. “We all do it, you guys just need to talk it out like fucking adults.”

“What, like you and Barry do that?” Taako raised an eyebrow at her.

“Honey, Barry gets an update if I wake up feeling mildly discontented,” Lup said. “Which, to be honest, might be unhealthy in the other direction, but at least we’re honest with each other. You can’t hide how you feel and then expect the other person to understand. You’re setting yourself up for failure coding everything.”

“Can we please find Kravitz and then you can lecture me on how your relationship is so much better than mine?”

Lup rolled her eyes. “Alright, but be prepared to take notes, sucka,” she teased. “Why don’t you stay here and call him?” She suggested. “Barry and I will keep looking for him.”

Taako swallowed thickly. “Yeah, sure, no problem, I can absolutely call him.”

Lup smiled at her brother and summoned her scythe, opening up a portal.

“Oh, and Taako? Eat your goddamn pancakes or I’ll force them into your mouth.” she grinned sweetly, baring canines, and then vanished.

Taako did indeed eat his pancakes, washing them down with some pinot grigio. He couldn’t just call Kravitz up out of the blue. Not after everything he’d said. He’d just top off his buzz a little to take the edge off, give himself some liquid courage so he could do this. So he could fix things. If sober Taako fucked things up then drunk Taako would glue them back together.

He sat on the couch, watching as the sun set through the window and cast an orange light over the living room. His palms were sweaty, and he kept running a thumb over his stone of farspeech saying to himself: “okay call him...now….now...call him...NOW”.

As he tried to tune into Kravitz’s frequency he heard a crash, like glass shattering. He stood, turning towards the source of the sound.

“What, you assholes couldn’t even be bothered to check the door? It was unlocked! You had to just break my window?”

Before he could get anymore drunken snark across, one of the intruders: a man in a dark cloak, pinned him to the wall by his throat.

“Tell the reaper we have his boy toy,” he said to another intruder.

Taako struggled against the man’s grip, trying to reach for the spare wand he kept tucked in his pocket but it was no use. He felt lightheaded already, losing his grip on his stone of farspeech so it clattered to the floor.

The other intruder busied himself with some sort of ritual preparation. He was spreading out raven’s feathers and onyx. Taako knew enough about this school of magic to know they were going to try and speak to Kravitz through a spell, most likely to tell him that if he didn’t leave them alone they’d kill Taako.

Well, at least I fixed this problem, right? Taako thought wryly.

His ears flickered. He could hear the faint static from his stone, meaning it was tuned to someone else’s frequency. He had to say something, had to warn him.

He tried to speak, but the man pushed his forearm deeper into Taako’s throat. Black spots appeared in front of his eyes as his lungs struggled to inflate.

“Are you almost done? Will it work if he’s passed out?” The intruder asked.

The other one grunted. “This stuff takes time, don’t make him pass out or we’ll have to wait longer and we’re running on a time limit as is.”

The man eased up, and Taako’s feet touched the ground again. He coughed, and tried to think with a muddled oxygen deprived and wine soaked brain.

“He won’t come,” he said. “He won’t come, I broke his heart he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Yeah, okay,” the man holding him scoffed.

“No, really,” Taako said. “I kicked him out of the house, that’s why he’s not here.” he subtly dropped his location into the sentence. “I told him I could have anyone else if I wanted. Got him real mad. He won’t come back.”

The guy’s face screwed up. “Wow that was kinda assholeish dude. Why would you say that?” Taako looked at the stone of farspeech, then he closed his eyes. Maybe it would be better if Kravitz didn’t come, if he could be free. “...because I love him.”

“Jerry, get your shit together, this isn’t some gossip time sleepover party we need him for this ritual.” The guy setting up the summoning circle said. “Aw come on! He’s clearly hurting, I’m just talking to the guy.” The man - Jerry- whined in protest.

“He’ll be hurting a lot more if his ex doesn’t come for him.”

Jerry brought Taako over to the summoning circle, pushing him down to his knees. “What do we do with him if death doesn’t show?”

The other intruder looked up, a knife in hand, and gave a sinister smile. “What, you never heard of lucky elf’s ears?”

“That’s pretty fucked up… This is why I married ya~” Jerry replied, blowing a kiss.

Taako rolled his eyes. He was gonna die, and to add insult to injury he was gonna die at the hands of true love. Great.

They waited there for Kravitz to show, and with each passing minute Taako’s heart sank. Eventually, Jerry’s husband sighed and stood, lifting his knife. “Well, guess that’s it. Search the house, take anything expensive or magical. I’ll strip the elf of his ears and whatever other parts we might ne-”

Suddenly there was a sound like a snap, amplified so loud that Taako’s ears rang. A portal opened up on the floor inches away from where Taako was kneeling.

A dark cloaked figure soared out of the portal, black wings pounding against the air and sending feathers flying. Taako’s eyes widened: he was still so fucking beautiful.

Kravitz stayed in the air just inches off the floor, his face furious, eyes glowing. He raised his weapon, swiping it downwards in a deadly arc that swiftly dispatched Jerry. Jerry’s husband tried to get a spell off, but it glanced off Kravitz’s wings harmlessly. Kravitz raised his scythe again and with a sickening sound he separated the man’s head from his shoulders.

Kravitz grabbed the souls now freed from their bodies, his hand turning skeletal where it touched the immortal essence. “No one touches him.” He growled before sending the souls off to the eternal stockade. He could feel the tension still in his shoulders as he willed his scythe away, landing on the floor softly.

He didn’t vanish his wings, not yet. He wasn’t sure if he was staying, but he needed to see Taako.

The elf was still on the floor, staring up at Kravitz with watery eyes.

“Are you okay?” Kravitz asked gently.

Taako looked at him in disbelief, then his face slowly contorted into the biggest frown Kravitz had ever seen as Taako burst into tears at the idea of the man whose heart he broke asking if he was okay.

Kravitz’s heart twisted as he rid himself of his wings to kneel in front of Taako. He reached out hesitantly towards him, a reflex, but paused. “Taako… I- I need to know what’s going on. Please, talk to me.” He offered his hand to Taako, allowing him to make the first move if he wanted to.

Taako didn’t need any more prompting. He grabbed Kravitz’s hand and pulled himself into Kravitz’s chest, wrapping his arms around the reaper. “I’m so sorry, I fucked up and i'm sorry.”

Taako just kept going from there, words falling from his mouth like a waterfall as he explained the whole thing. “I just w-wanted you to b-be happy, and I thought...I thought t-that I was making you m-miserable, but all I-I did was scare you a-and make it worse, and make you n-not love me anymore,” he sobbed.

Kravitz held Taako tightly in his arms, rocking him back and forth as he cried. “Shhh, please calm down, it’s alright.” It was a lie, what Taako had said days ago had hurt, but hearing his Taako sob hurt much worse now that he knew the truth. “Breathe darling, please.”

Taako took a few desperate breaths, and scrubbed at his eyes. He tried to make himself look presentable for Kravitz. “I did something so shitty...I’m so sorry...I should have just talked to you instead of...fucking acting out a way to push you away. I’m everything you said I was...I’m selfish, cruel, and ignorant.”

“I wasn’t any better.” Kravitz sighed. “I wish you had just talked to me, but I should have been more clear. I’m sorry I ever made you think that I was miserable because of you. I was angry, I wasn’t thinking. This is just different, being with someone is different, but it’s ultimately a good thing.”

“You’re saying...I’m worth it?”

“You’re worth everything to me, Taako.”

Taako looked at Kravitz, gently running the tips of his fingers along the reaper’s jaw. “Where were you this whole time?”

Kravitz sighed. “I just...went to an old bolt-hole of mine. I was angry at first, I just hit the wall until I was tired...then I was sad. I couldn’t think or stand...I just sat there thinking about our fight over and over again. Then...I heard your voice.”

“Why would you come to help me? After everything I said?”

“Taako I don’t- I don’t care if we break up, or if you’re horrible to me. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You might be a weakness but you’re one of my greatest strengths. My love for you keeps me going.”

Taako traced Kravitz’s lips with the tip of his finger, relishing the feeling of his boyfriend’s arms around him. “I...I don’t ever want to do that again. I love you...and I’d give you my everything.” He bit his lip. “Can we ever get back to how things were?”

Kravitz ran a hand through Taako’s hair in a soothing motion. “We can’t just undo what we said, so not quite.” He smiled ever so slightly. “But we can keep talking, keep being honest with each other. We can grow and heal and learn, together. If… If that’s what you want.”

“Kravitz, there’s nothing I want more, than being happy with you.” Taako crawled further into Kravitz’s lap and nuzzled up against him. Kravitz smiled, feeling himself warm at Taako’s touch, feeling his heart start beating again.

The house was still trashed from the home invasion, and Taako and Kravitz were still raw and vulnerable from the fight, but it was nothing they couldn’t fix.

[the1997diaries]

Life Lately: Road To SMX

Annyeonghasseyo, chingus! My fingers were feeling itchy to write the milestones that happened lately. Gosh were halfway this school year— #RoadToSMX is so real. Yep. I am still in “fingers crossed” about that cos last Monday on my way to school, I’m so close to bumping into a motorcycle like I was just 10 inches away from it and I’m in shocked for 5 seconds before I recovered myself. I now believe that graduating students are really prone to accidents. Pros: I can consider myself now as a “REAL” graduating student LELS! Cons: I’m getting paranoid whenever I hit the road like I kept on looking left and right not just twice but thrice just to check if there are vehicles before crossing. HUHUHU! Who else is like me?

I have a lot of stories to tell like how we accomplished our papers and defense with great remarks and how we handled stress and group misunderstandings and all. Gawhd that moment when I’m finally writing the last sentence, the last word and the last period of our “final revised paper”. It feels so surreal like did we just made it? So to make it more detailed, I listed the highlights of my life these past few weeks.

We danced for our Consumer Behavior class while wearing corporate attire. I hate that I enjoyed it.

Few days after my birthday comes a huge disturbance in my entire college life. In our E-commerce class, one of our requirements is to come up with a website of our Feasibility proposal. I am the one who made it cos hey I’m a frustrated blogger LELS. Nope honestly because in our group, I can say that I’m the one who has the glittery-sparkling eyes for design and I am very patient with it. So I volunteered. I made the website using Wix ADI where they gave me a lot of templates but I made my own one. I spent a whole day even night just to perfect it. I even slept between 2 - 3 am. After I satisfied myself, I asked my group mates to just delete the text (given by wix) and replace it with our business description. So I was so glad that finally after days of sleepless nights, I can finally be at ease. But on a Sunday, I received a notification from our professor on that particular subject, she said that it was copied. I’m like whaaaat? what portion? So I opened the site and saw that the description wasn't changed at all. My group mates didn’t do it despite giving them the whole account after I finishing the design. We got zero points in that project and I’m like a crying baby cos I’m/were graduating students and that happening is something that shouldn’t be happening. I’m not blaming my group mates cos as a student as well, I must be very careful in everything I do and finish it right away. I felt a little bit angry with our professor cos she did broadcast the issue to all her other students BEFORE confronting us like you are a professor. After all, you are the one who knows what to do and what not to do. But despite that, a lesson learned and that is more important.

Last September 16, my sister and I attended a book fair at SMX Convention Center. Before we get inside, we lined up for so long, it's like a 5 circling line from end to end of the convention + the scorching heat. But all of that was worth it cos when we entered, the smell of books was so satisfying. There are books everywhere and I found myself lost in them. My sister even literally lost her phone while browsing for books. What a sad reality, a phone in exchange for books. I can feel her bittersweetness while on our way home. 

We went to Paranaque to celebrate Tita Beth and Xian’s birthday at their crib. We ate a bunch of pizza and cakes and all we can consume. We served foods to a lot of kids from their neighborhood and it was just so satisfying seeing those kids with a smile on their face. 

 My sister taught me to ride a motorbike and hell yes, ‘twas scary at first but also easy to learn + the bonding moments. *wink*

Our very own baby, Lairiel, my niece, stayed with us for a week and she’s the reason why I want to go home early after school. Yay, cuteness! + she knows how to make tulug-tulogan.

My fave blogger couple, Kuya David Guison and Vina Guerrero are liking my photos in IG and replying to my comments like waaaaah! That’s every fan girl's dreams. I hope to meet them soon.

My Wednesday schedule was always a blockbuster one cos its a whole day. But on our last day in my Consumer Behavior class (my last subject during Wednesday) we played Pinoy games like Bahay, Baboy, Bagyo, and 7UP. And it was so fun, I had fun.  I felt the closeness in us despite some irregular students. This is something we have longed for after a stressful day. Truly one of a kind.

Last October 3, we had our Feasibility Showroom where we presented our Feasib proposal to NU’s stakeholders. We also got to see other section’s feasibility proposals and I was in awe. I didn’t expect that my batchmates do really have incredible minds. The other team in my section even won the first place in Service Category.

Last October 12 I had my internship interview with Summit Media. You guys I am an avid fan of this publishing company since I was 9. I remember my best friend way back in elementary influenced me with Total Girl magazine so we always see to it that we have a monthly copy. Not even minding if we still have money left. Ohhhh I also remember we buy magazine together and I’m feeling nostalgic. Miss you best friend! :( SO BAD! So going back... that is the reason why I immediately applied for an internship position but unluckily... HUHUHUHUHU they need full-time M - F / 8 - 5 PM and I’m from QC and Summit Media is in Ortigas and I still have an evening class and you know Manila traffic is so real. So it is really a big NO. Just imagine my life would be :( But on the other side, I’m just so happy to finally have a step at their office. Gosh, the smell of the office and the ambiance is really what I want like waaaaaah! I can live in their office. LELS!

We got an A in our E-Marketing Proposal. Remember that website copying issue? We bounced baaaaack! We were advised to change our business proposal on this subject and what... we did it. We nailed our presentation. I once said to myself and I even promised my professor this “BABAWI AKO!” Then our new proposal made it! Our panel didn’t even questioned us and just said that we have the best presentation like OMG!!!! That panel is truly one of the terror professors of NU-CBA.

Last October 23, we had our final final final defense for Feasibility and glad to know that everyone in my class passed it. It felt like just talking to our panels since we did a lot of defense prior to the final defense. So it's just a matter of being well-knowledgeable and being confident. After all, we are actually the one who made the proposal so we know it from its roots.

After the defense, we went to Ying Ying to celebrate and to have also our sem-ender. As usual, never a dull moment.

I got my official PLDT internship ID and I’m gonna spend my 2nd semester with them. I officially started last Nov. 08 and the employees were like really very accommodating + my supervisor is literally sooooo cool like everything is allowed but with being punctual and honest as the biggest rule to be followed. My co-interns were really fun to be with as well and I felt them the first time I ever spent time with them. What I also noticed is that people there are very religious, well in my department.

Binondo Hits! We went to Binondo for an interview which I turned down. Then we went to a church but I forgot the name of it. But it is my first time so gotta wish wish wish if you know what I mean hahaha.

My main squad goes to Le Village Foodpark located at E.Rodriguez cor. Cordillera St. which is actually few steps away from my home! Gotta have some bonding time yow. If you are looking for affordable yet IG feed goals food park, this is perfect for you. It's like a Japan-inspired because of the cherry blossom thingy + their CR is literally lit. LELS!

[x-avantgarde]

SHINee World V - Hong Kong Experience!

So hello everyone owo I went to Shinee's World V, Hong Kong stop's concert!! (This is a Kpop post, I know but I will be back for vkei in the future! So please stay tuned!!) :D I bought the tickets really late orz and so before I start, I would like to apologize because I don't really know SHINee that well (I know them but I wasn’t a Shawol or anything) and I went because my mom likes Taemin (and SHINee) a lot XDD  (beware of this long ass post haha (it’s 2000+ words orz)

So we arrived at the venue at around 2pm? The merchandise opens at noon but I had this lesson that ends at noon so... We had lunch before we went to the venue (and the place is super far lol, but it's super close to the airport). Me and my mom took the airport express line from Kowloon (Elements?) to Asia World Expo and it was actually pretty quick (~20mins?). But the fare was super expensive OTL (though you get a discount if you show them your concert ticket).

There were A LOT of people lining up for the merch when I got there, but I wanted to get the light stick so badly (because I don't have one? XD) so I just lined up (like whatever haha). The line was super long, the merch was outside but the lines looped into the area where the standing went and waited. Around 30mins in the line I met people from my school lmao XD (so awkward bc we're actually not close?).

There were these people who approached us and asked us when we were in the line about whether we wanted light sticks or not (because they had "a bunch"). It was super fishy so I didn't get any, there were many cases in Kpop concerts where people sold fake light sticks :/// The official ones sold at 80HKD each but those people sold it at 60HKD each :////

After approximately two hours and fifteen minutes, I finally managed to get the merchandise :D Around halfway through the line, the staff gave us this sheet to write down what we wanted. In the end, I spent around 500HKD lmAO. I told myself I would only get the light stick and that was it, but you know what? I ended up getting an Onew fan, Onew key chain and these postcards (rip my money haha but it was so worth it). The Onew key chain is super duper cute!! owo (and yes my favourite member is Onew ouo)

It was around 4pm when we finished getting our merch, so me and my mom decided to go into this (kinda bad) cafe / restaurant place to sit down and eat something. I didn't eat anything because I literally just ate lunch three hours ago X"D Around 4:15, people were starting to line up. There are two places where you can go into the venue, one is on the ground floor, (for people in standing (who already got in) and people from the seating (block 5-13 (aka every block)) in the first rows. (A-M)). I was in block 10 row L so I had to get in on the ground floor.

Around 5:00 we went to line up and get ready to get in. The security was super strict and there were these Japanese girls in front of me who got cut off because they found a camera (but the girl said she went to disneyland and that's why she bought it). They took super long T___T until they finally managed to check my god damn bag. I bought a small-ish backpack but they literally took out everything T______T I understand that they didn't want any cameras inside the venue and stuff, but... uhhh really???

Me and my mom managed to get in, and we walked up the stairs (finally) and found our seats!! :))) On our seats, there was a pack, which included an balloon, a fan (double sided with a member's face) and this banner in Korean //orz what does it mean haha//. I got Key's fan so it's okay /but ugly sobbing because I didn't get Onew T_T/.

It was supposed to start at 6pm but they were super late (because Taemin had this earpiece problem so he kept apologizing during the introduction / first MC T___T (like CHILD ITS OK (let me give you a hug lmao). When the fans sat down, it felt super unreal, and it all felt like a dream. When the lights dimmed and we started screaming and chanting, "SHINEE! SHINEE! SHINEE!" They played a video (to our disappointment haha).

After that Shinee cAME OUT :DD They started with the song Sherlock and it's super good XD But I didn't warm up yet so I was kinda stiff and I didn't scream and all. (For some reason, I felt super awkward). But I was waving my light stick, just enjoying Shinee performing :))

The next song was Married To The Music and I was starting to get more hyped :) I lowkey sang along XDD I think they came out in suits or something (i forgot orz). Then the next song was Juliet (and the chorus is so catchy?!?!) After these three songs, it was MC timeeee! ^^ they started talking about how they haven't been to Hong Kong for a long time (around four years??) so they were really happy to be back. Key mentioned about how HK food was really good or something haha.

(Starting from this part, the order of the songs are going to be all messed up). They changed clothes somewhere after the MC or something like that (they changed way too often!!). I got more warmed up as Reply came up :DD Everyone sang along to it (and dude it's so good hahaha). You know how people would scream when a member's part comes up? That was me when Onew's part came up XD But it felt like I was the only Onew fan in my section because when Onew sings there were nearly NO ONE screaming T__T (It felt lowkey awkward because I would only be hearing my screams hahaha).

Then midway they changed into casual and I swear, Key looks SO GOOD in real life. During Lucifer, I was so hyped hahahaha. Key took off his white jacket because it was "too stiff and too hard to dance in it", and also he was like, "I look better without it". OMG XDD And guess what was underneath his jacket? A grey sleeveless shirt. SLEEVELESS. HE LOOKED SO GOOOD OMG. XD In the middle of the setlist /forgot which song orz/ he made the hand heart and it got onto the mini screen on the side. I got /shot/ in the heart owo.

THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE CONCERT FOR ME HAHA. OKAY. During some song, Minho winked and gave this smooch towards the crowd OMG. AND IT WAS LIKE WINK THEN AIR KISS. /DIES/ WHEN HE DID THAT, I LITERALLY SPAZZED OUT ON MY SEAT HAHAHA, I WAS LIKE 'WHAT IS LIFE?' (He is so extra?!?! X"D)

In the middle of the setlist, (ESPECIALLY DURING Everybody), I got super duper hyped and screamed like crazy whenever it was Onew's part X"D (and also when their choreography was super cool). LIKE WHO CARES, I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN BITCHES XD During Everybody, these Japanese girls (again XD ikr, they have a lot of Japanese fans haha), also got super hyped XDDD Even though we weren't supposed to film, no one honestly gives a shit? (including me lmao). I filmed for around 30s in total XD (just to document the hype and it's the only thing I can hold onto after the concert T_T (other than the merch)).

They also performed Why So Serious, 1 of 1, So Amazing, View (that was aWESOME), Ring ding dong (the crowd was so high XD (including me hahaha)), Prism, Feel Good (CLIMAX OF THE CRAZINESS HAHA), Shift (don't really remember anything XD (except the fact they performed this song). The atmosphere was so awesome!! :))

In around the first quarter? Two members changed first, then the others went. Key, Minho and Taemin stayed first X"D Minho or Key was like, "I'm wondering if any of the members off stage are eating right now (referring to Onew and Jonghyun)" XD Then Onew and Jonghyun came back, wearing silk material / soft / shiny fabric clothes :DD it was so cool haha. (I think they also performed Dream Girl but I don't remember what happened T_T).

(I'm listening to SHINee's songs while typing this up so ahahahahaha) They sang a lot of the slower songs during that silk material clothing part XD (whatever you call it haha). Onew and Jonghyun also sang a duet-- Please Don't Go. This song was so touching and T_T //feels// Onew's voice was so sweet <333 /melts/ (Jonghyun's voice is also good <33) Hopefully Jonghyun's not sick or anything because he struggled a lot with hitting the high notes T___T especially during the duet and Replay QAQ

During Feel Good, oh my... oh my... The lyrics in the chorus, "I can make you feel good" X"D Everyone sang along in that part and I was kind of hesitant but I GAVE UP. So I also sang along and that was sooooo fun. This was one of the songs I like hahahaha. Though I wished they performed Tell Me What To Do because Jonghyun's voice in that song is GREAT.

There were a lot of Key and Taemin fans hahaha. Whenever it would be Key or Taemin's part, girls in my section would be screaming ahahah (like me in Onew's part X"D). And Onew's smile just melts my heart ouo Taemin also did a solo performance, he performed Sayonara Hitori (in Korean). His costume was so cool (there were these ribbons(?) that are sewn onto his sleeves, so whenever he spreads his arms it would look kind of like wings :D There were also these long stripes of red fabric hanging from the ceiling. There were also smoke(?) in the floor to make it even more dreamy <33 When my mom heard that song, she shook my arm excitedly and said, "This is my favourite song from Taemin!!" /lmao/ It was super cool and I enjoyed every single second of it /and I lowkey sang along because it's so good hahaha/

Skipping to Aside!! It was actually when we were supposed to blow up the balloons (which had led lights inside of them). I struggled a lot (because honestly I've never successfully blown a balloon before... until now XD) but the crowd looked super good because of the flashy balloons :DD Even Jonghyun was thankful for what the fans had prepared :DD (because he mentioned it in the ending speech).

Skip skip skip, time for chanting the encore! The fans actually started singing happy birthday (in Korean) to Shinee (as it's nearly their 9th anniversary!) ^_^ Every time we want to start over again (by singing happy birthday), we would all laugh as we don't know when we should start singing again haahaha (if it makes any sense XD). They came out in the moving carts (LIKE FINALLY?!) and the crew played So Amazing in the background. I really wanted to get one of their signed balls (that sounds wrong LMFAO /i'm sorry/) but I didn't manage to get one T_T because Onew and Jonghyun actually tried throwing some to my section but they didn't manage to throw it pass the crew (bc the crew was sandwiched between my section + the moving carts) OTL

/HIGHLIGHT NUMBER 2/ Since Minho was the only one on his cart, he actually stopped in front of my section (directly in front of me) and did the hand heart (like the one you make the heart with your arms + head??) towards my section XD I cried ahaha, and you know what? Before I knew it, MY HANDS AUTOMATICALLY DID AN ARM/HAND HEART BACK TO HIM. HE WAS SMILING SO BRIGHTLY OH MY GOSH. (No one in front of me did a heart back so it's actually possible he might have seen me in the corner of his eyes /dies from happiness/ /but it's okay if he didn't actually see me because giving a heart towards my section is already good enough <333/)

They did the ending speech and they reminded us to support Key's new drama <33 Shinee also told us that they will be back soon (isn't that what all the overseas idols say lmao). And it ended! I was so sad T___T they played a video (or some MV /i forgot/) and in the end the screen said "Thank you and love you" XD It was really touching but my mom had to ruin the moment and said, "Yeah, more like thank you and love your money" LMAO.

It was such a great experience and I have definitely fell in love with Shinee :D (who wouldn't if they attended Shinee's concert haha). It was so different from Visual Kei's lives and I might be doing a comparison in the future so please stay in touch with me! <3

[eeltalk]

I need to be working on things but

I have to finish an app for a group, as well an entire essay that’s due monday BUT BOY do I need to say smth first. I’ve wanted to make a post about this for at least a few months now, probably more. But I always put it off or decide not to do it, however with the stress of deadlines and EVERYTHING ELSE I just need to rant for a lil bit.  

**I originally had this all under a read more block but then it wasnt showing up on my blog so srry about that

Basically what I need to rant about is how fucking dismissive and selfish some people are in group chats. I’ve seen it happen to several friends, but it personally happens to me on a regular basis, sometimes with different people and various chats. Like idk if I ever see someone in a chat who is trying to contribute to a conversation, to get a point across, or even are just trying to be included in some way, I fucking acknowledge them!! In real life too!! I try to not talk over them and to acknowledge what they say in some way or another. But then there are people who honestly could not care less about is currently being talked about, and they turn it around so the conversation is literally just focused on them 100%. I talking about a character? Cool now they are too, expect they completely disregard what i just said, ignores it completely and continues to go on a 30-45 minute spiel about their character and every time I try to interject with something I was originally trying to say, all I get is a very minimal response with them giving me no indication that they are interested in any way with that I have to say. Despite the fact that I will ask them to possibly elaborate or ask a question when they are talking. Maybe perhaps return the favor? 

I show art? Cool they show art too, only they don’t acknowledge what I just sent and again, talk for 30 about a character. I show something that I think is cool, and might pertain to a character? Well now they have claimed it for their own and you can guess what they do next. Also i bring up the character thing bc that happens a lot, but also because thats easy to show example of, its for sure not the only thing people will do....im not trying to allude to certain a certain person or people. 

Though the big one for me is if i say if something is bothering me and I’ll talk a little bit about that, and get NOTHING back. But then some time later a person will send a message, disregarding that and will talk about something else, then immediately more people will reply to THAT. Like alllriighttttt guess no one cares enough about a personal issue of a so called friend, might have. Alternatively, if someone else were to make that same comment, suddenly people are much more concerned and invested, as if only that one person is allowed to have issues that are worth worrying about....Which is probably because they are much more vocal about said problems? Which is fine but its just the fact that when I try to do that, im either shutdown or ignored sooooo.......

Ugh I feel like Im not really expressing myself well enough for this to be impactful in any way but I really just wanted to say this, even if no one really reads it. 

Also this is not meant to be a call out post to anyone/groups/certain chats in particular....I just really wanted to share what I have witnessed and experienced first hand for a while now. No I do not want to discuss this with anyone, yes Im fine, I’ve just been stressed out lately is all and well, this happening just isn’t helping. I just ask to please try to be more aware of what you are doing, and if you realize you are doing this and its not on purpose, you aren’t a bad person but just please stop. Its so disrespectful and hurtful.

[girl-next-door-writes]

Things I have been reading... (Jan)

Okay, so this one is MASSIVELY late but I blame my pneumonia for the delay and totally not the fact that I was so busy reading stuff that I have only just finalized January’s list!!!  So here are a few things that I have been reading this January and I think you might like them too.  I have been sucked into a few new fandoms thanks to @bkwrm523 , @thorne93 and @sdavid09 and so the last section has kinda grown more diverse.  If you read or write something and you think it should be on my list then please tag me or send me a link or print it out and send it by raven.  Well, without anymore of me rambling, here’s my favourite fics in January 2017.

Supernatural:

Cuddled Love – @sdavid09  I want to cuddle with Dean after this fic!  If you are having a bad day then just go read this and it will make everything better *well maybe not, but you will feel happier after reading it*

Dancing on my Own – @jelly-beans-and-gstrings I’m a sucker for a choose your own ending and this one is fantastic.  So who would you choose? Sam or Dean?

Dirty Thoughts of an Archangel – @dont-hate-relate-pls  By now you should all know how much I adore Gabriel and this fic is just an amazing mixture of cute, awkward and hot. I may or may not have read this one several times.

A Kiss for the Night –  @thethingwewrite This is a smutty Crowley for you should you be that way inclined.  I really liked reading this one, I have a soft spot for the King of Hell.

Whats-His-Name – @l8nitl0vr I think this is one of my favourite Lucifer fics.  For me I think the characterization is spot on and I could totally picture him being like this, plus I would probably do what the reader did too.

A Little Too Late -  @lucifersagents  This series has had me hooked all the way through. There are so many things that keep you guessing and it is so well written I’m kinda sad that it’s finished.

Woman of Letters - @like-a-bag-of-potatoes  I love this series, everytime I see theres a new part it brings a smile to my face.  One of my all-time favourite writers and all round lovely person.  If you aren’t already following her I highly recommend you do.

Marvel:

Matchmaker –  @callamint Bucky and Natasha playing matchmaker is my new favourite thing and this series is brilliant.

Imagine Wade Wilson introducing you to Matt Murdock - @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  This. Is. Amazing.  Seriously, this little imagine is sooooo good.  I love @imamotherfuckingstarlord anyway because she’s one of my favourite writers but her Deadpool is simply sublime.

Iron Icarus – @serzhantjamesbuchananbarnes  Jeeeeeezzzzz, this one hurt my heart.  Poor Tony doing pretty much what Tony does and you want to punch him and shout at him and then give him a huge hug and wrap him in bubblewrap, or maybe that’s just me.  Beautifully written and well worth a read.

Homesick - @thorne93 This series is the perfect blend of fluff and angst.  A reader with amnesia, Steve picking her up in the park, the introduction of Bucky... Go read this right now and then you too can know the delicious torture of waiting for the next part.

Sassy Stark - @redlipstickandplaid  Every imagined what it would be like to be Tony Starks daughter?  Imagine no longer, this fic is super cute and the relationship between the reader and Tony is exactly how I would picture it.  Loving this series.

Mess with Them - @redgillan  I love Friends, I love Marvel, I love this series.  The relationships between all the characters is so on point and fluffy!  

No Regrets – @mar-gega  A lovely little series where Bucky is definitely awkward and clueless and it is gorgeous.  

The Lonely Tree – @sarahwroteathing  This is one of my favourite series of all time ever and I am super sad that it’s over but the ending is just perfect.  I fell in love with Steve all over again with this fic and I hope you will too.

Road to Schkeuditz – @aubzylynn   Being stuck in a car with Steve, Sam and Bucky as you drive across the country!! Set in CACW this is what ‘may’ have happened as they drove to Leipzig airport on their mission to clear Bucky’s name.  I like to think that this is how that journey went.

For Your Convenience – @brighterlights  Oh. My. Goodness!!!!  Steve or Bucky?  Bucky or Steve?  This amazing series had me going from one to the other, back and forth.  It is such a good read and I think you should go binge read the entire thing now.

Star Trek:

Shore Leave – @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  This series officially killed me.  I am now dead.  How are you supposed to live your life after you get involved with McCoy AND Kirk?  I will never be able to write smut as well as this genius but as long as I can read her work I think I’m okay with that.

Other Fandoms and Fics:

Wrong Number – @totally-turtle-imagines I thought this little fic was so sweetand I’m kinda hoping that there may be more parts. I’m beginning to suspect I might be team Donatello when it comes to this fandom.

Flirt –  @plumfondler I’m not usually a massive Lance Tucker fan but this fic just seemed perfect for him.  I don’t think I could just be friends with him either.

Muffins – @just-a-little-crazy  So a little foray into the Gotham fandom here and a little fluff with Victor Zsasz.  Even ruthless hitmen deserve muffins.  

Even the Playing Field - @sdavid09  So I have totally fallen in love with Fili after falling back into the Hobbit fandom.  The relationship between Kili and Fili is so well written and I really enjoyed reading this, it brought a goofy smile to my face.

Tag: @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @cojootromuelle @chaos-and-the-calm67 @mysaintsasinner @its-my-perky-nipples @percywinchester27 @neeadinghugs

[dorianpavus]

WELL FOLKS sorry i haven’t been around i’ve been super busy with work!!! here’s some updates!!!!

work updates!! d&d updates (the irl campaign, not the internet one)!!!

work life has been.... really rough the past few days!!!!!! like. damn. i’ve made some great friends at work (one of my friends was saying how he thinks i was like Meant To Be In His Life and he says he’s never met anyone as Good as me or as Unique as me and while i don’t agree i’m so honored and happy he thinks so u know he’s wonderful!!!! gosh!!!)

buuuuuuuuut.... like ok. i was scheduled for a clopen shift last night and today. so like, 4pm-12ish and then 8:00am-4ish, which i was already pretty bummed about. and then i found out that the person who was supposed to do the Operator shift (which involves a lot of work) the day before me color coded the hangers instead of.......... doing her job............. on a saturday............................. so i had to do an entire weekend’s worth of work this morning. and i knew that was coming, and i was already like GOD. WHY. a clopen and this?

but then saturday night, last night... there’s a new closing manager. he just got promoted. i didn’t know anything about him really, but i’d heard my team say how much they all hated him just from working with him in the past, and i guess he was brand new at the management position and Really Fucking Intense because he wanted everything to be perfect. but like i was focused in my areas and making them look super good (even on a saturday night which isn’t easy lol), except for like the diaper aisle which is always a little messy bc it gets ransacked. but i had put everything away and it looked like... fine lol. and the infants food aisle has been messy for like months bc it would take hours alone to fix so like.... no one ever has hours just to clean it. so it stays that way and has been that way 5ever. we keep it as clean as we can but like... it’s not Perfect looking. not bad, but not Perfect, and that’s the way it literally ALWAYS IS.

WELL. the new manager is from a different department and he has NEVER been over in my department. until now. and at the end of the night after the store closed he came running over and was like absolutely frantic and angry and was like WHO HAD INFANTS????????????? and i was like, um... me? very confused? and he was like, in front of everyone as we’re about to clock out, DID YOU NOT FINISH WTF HAPPENED?????? WHY IS IT SUCH A MESS?????

and i was really confused cause my area was like. pristine. and i even finished early and helped out in another area of the store. like. what???? so i thought maybe a customer had spilled something as they were leaving the store and i had somehow missed it? so as everyone else leaves he forces me to go back to infants with him and he’s like pointing at some of the diapers that are like. slightly askew or not Perfectly Straight and he’s like yelling at me like “WTF!!!!! DOES THIS LOOK DONE TO YOU?????????”

and i’m just looking at him in utter confusion cause like.... he has CLEARLY never ever worked softlines, lmao. but i was like in my head, honestly? yes, it does? like it could be zoned a little more, definitely!! but it’s not like... bad looking at all? at all? like my main boss from my department walked my areas all night and she said they looked good, so idk wtf he was on, but he was FREAKING OUT. because he was just promoted, and so he needed everything to be like factory-perfect because he wanted to look good in front of the store manager, who he’s super intimidated by.

well. lol. i was being super nice to him, and letting him yell at me, and like, “yeah, of course! this should be neater, i’m sorry, it was really busy tonight and i didn’t get to spend as much time back here as i would have liked.” which is true. like 98% of my areas were pristine, and 2% were average. lmao, so i still did a great job, but i was trying to be sympathetic to the fact that he was new and nervous and wanted to make a good impression, even if he was kind of treating me like crap. so i let him keep me at work after everyone else left and helped tidy up those two aisles that he was sooooo upset about, and then he had me leave and go do some of his work for him up at the front. and i was standing up there really upset that he had yelled at me over nothing and then made me stay at work alone and do his work for him when one of the other managers saw me up there as she was leaving and she was like ?????? katie???????// what are you doing here?????????????

and i was like “soandso is having me do this for him...” and she was like WTF!!! get outta here!!!!! go home clock out u don’t have to do that. like leave!!!!!

so i did, and i got home and was kind of upset still (i cried like the second i left the store lol) and was like pretty glum about it all (and dreading my opening shift that was now less than 8 hours away with a whole weekend’s worth of work waiting for me, yay!!!).... and then i couldn’t sleep. like i couldn’t sleep that night so i just DIDN’T SLEEP AT ALL. AT. ALL. not for a minute. before i had to go back to the store.

so i get there in the morning, and i’m trying really hard to be positive and put that behind me. like, that was last night, you’re tired af but you can do this katie!!!!!! it’s ok!!!! you got this!!! and i actually started to cheer up because i was BLAZING through all my piles of work and like........... got all of it done and it was making me super happy that i had singlehandedly caught my department back up to speed and everything.... and i was just like i’m good!!!!!!! i got this!!!!!!!! 

......... and then at 2:30pm my sorta-boss came in. a lower ranking boss, the one who had been there with me the night before and had confirmed that there hadn’t been anything wrong with my areas, CERTAINLY nothing warranting the new manager’s hysterics. and she was like omg katie..... he is TELLING EVERYONE, like ALL THE HIGHER UPS, that my area was a DISASTER last night and saying how he had to stay late and clean it all up (not mentioning that i stayed and helped him tilt diaper boxes so they were perfectly aligned in my area since that was sooooo~~~ terrible~~~~, or how i did his job stuff for him, lmao), and saying how i had apparently told him i “don’t zone HBA” as in i literally supposedly told my boss that i never do my job???????????? because that is completely believable????????

but the worse part is is that a bunch of the store managers believed him. lol. even though he’s literally fabricating things i said and exaggerating and twisting this situation just to make himself look good. over something super fucking insignificant... and when my boss came up to bat for me and was like WHAT?????????? her areas were fine i checked them myself!!!!!!!!! and he had her stay and tidy it up anyway with him too, it’s not like she left and he had to clean up some imaginary mess of hers!!!! and she helped him do his stuff!!!!! and she would neeeeeeever have said that, and i asked her, and she swears she didn’t anyway!!!!!!!

and i was like... <333333 thank u!!!!!!!! but the other store manger she was defending me to was like... in one ear and out the other. and all, like, “well, soandso said that she said that. so she must have.” despite everything that my boss was saying to defend me. and pointing out that he was LITERALLY LYING. like 2 ppls words against his, but he’s the higher ranking manager, so clearly he’s telling the truth. ughhhhhh.

well when i found out that he was telling my whole place of employment that i was apparently terrible at my job and a terrible person who doesn’t give a fuck about my job here i got pretty upset!!! especially after no sleep!!! and i hadn’t had anything to eat all day!!! like actually nothing!! so like it’s towards the end of my shift and i start like tearing up hiding in the room adjacent to the fitting room and trying to get myself to calm down...

and then my friend (the one who said those nice things 2 me, the security guard i love so much!!!) came by and he was like WHY ARE YOU CRYING??????? and like super upset that i was upset, and he was trying to calm me down/figure out what was wrong/help but it was so so embarrassing to be crying in front of him godddddd, like AT WORK crying. jesus.

and then another coworker of mine saw me crying too. and now another coworker of mine just messaged me on FB saying he heard about everything and he’s furious on my behalf (which i’m really happy there’s ppl on my side here and some people believe me...) and stuff but i’m like 100% positive the fact that i was crying has probably made its way around work which i’m just... so humiliated by

god. i have tomorrow off work so i’m looking forward to not being there because it’s kind of making me miserable right now. like who does that!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the area looked fucking fine, why are you trying to make this huge thing and throw me under the bus just for.. what? to make yourself look like... a self-sacrificing person? a leader who will do anything for the store? idk. it’s so shitty!!!!

but whatever. :(

i was also SUPER SUPER tired cause after work i had to run home and go straight into my first d&d session, like our actual playing!!!

and omg!!!! omg friends it’s sooooo fuuuun!!!!! just.... i forgot all my exhaustion and bad work things and was just elated while i was playing. it’s the BEST. and i rolled like a million natural 20s and played super smart!!!!!!!!! asra is killin it!!!!!!!!!!! :3

anyway it’s now 2:47 am and despite like an accidental 10 minute nap i had on the couch when i got home from d&d  i’m still awake. it’s been so long since i slept lol???. and my brother bought me like an entire pizza to cheer me up???????? lmao. also cause i went like 24 hours without food which was..... bad. god. what a horrible no good dirty rotten day this was. except for d&d. d&d was amazing.

anyway. i’m gonna go put away my leftovers and pet my kitty and then watch critical role as i drift off. :) 

sorry i haven’t been around much!!! or posting much!! my dash has been pretty MIA lately too which doesn’t help. i’ll try and get a queue up and running. i love u all and i hope things are goin well in ur lives too!!! <333333333

[some-far-far-away-land]

Chesca’s Current Status

This weekend was amazing and gave me so much happiness, something I feel like I haven’t been in a long time. You know that the rest of this post is gonna explain why lol

So earlier last week I heard that a friend was selling tickets to the Alex Aiono and William Singe concert that I had been eyeing since like I think December or January, whenever they had released their tour dates. I was debating about it but by the time I decided tickets sold out already. So when I heard about my friend selling her ticket, the whole week I thought about it. I told her I’d tell her by Friday night. The week goes by and I was still debating, I was pretty broke and i knew if I went I would spend a lot of money on like getting there and back, and then food, and subway. What actually made me decide was that after class friday Nat Jose and I went for coffee with our old Don and I mentioned I was debating in going to toronto for this concert and Nat was like, “yo, lets go, i need a getaway and celebrate finishing design.” Plus Nellie was throwing a late bday party for Paul Saturday but I knew that Lisa would be there and that Thavi could potentially be there too. I honestly just didn’t want another repeat of gfx. I wouldn’t have been comfortable and I didn’t want that to translate on a celebration. Plus thinking about being in the same room as those two made me really anxious. I mean I know I didn’t do anything wrong but its the bad vibes and negativity I know those two people have for me that would make me uncomfortable. I mean if you had a choice I think you would choose a weekend in toronto by yourself, going on a few dates and going to see one of you favourite Youtube singers live, over a few hours of not knowing how to act around two people who use to be the closest people in your life who have now come to hate you for who know what reasons? 

So yea after a night of drinking and dancing at Phil’s with Nat, Jon, and Jose, which by the way was super fun because of the drunken talks and the company. Nat and I ventured off to Toronto Saturday morning. We went and got Pho in Chinatown, and then went to Eaton’s to shop and pick up some stuff. We ate there and didn’t go to Celene and Abby’s place till around 6pm. Funny story about where we ate for dinner. We went to the like cafeteria type place. I went to the coffee and pastry section since I was still full from Pho. I got an iced latte with a cheesecake. While I was in line, there was a hella rude customer who was on his phone telling the guy behind the counter (who was pretty cute btw) that he wanted more syrup on his waffle. He was also waiting for his drink and when the girl called it out he didn’t think it was his, when it clearly was. When he had left the cute guy behind the counter and another co-worker who I realized were filipino started talking about how rude he was. I listened and laughed cuz I know their struggles too and when the guy gave me my drink i smiled and said Salamat, and he was thrown off by it and he smiled back and I went on my merry way. 

Conversation with Nat was pretty good, we go pretty deep into my stuff, just with dating again and how I had been feeling the past few weeks. After that we went back and I redid my make up and taxied to the venue. I thought I was gonna be late but the show didn’t start till 8pm, line just started to move at 7pm. We get into the venue and its just standing so no seats. Its pretty packed and it was cold in there. I was supposed to meet up with my friend Jezeth but she was in the middle and I couldn’t find her so I just chilled where I was. When alex came out I had an amazing view of him, like most of the people there were girls who were with their girl friends or girls with their boyfriends, plus most of the people were asian so they were all shorter then me all I had to do was tippy toe a bit and I could see alex so well! The girls I ended up standing with and eventually befriending were super fun! They were drinking too so their vibes were legit and we danced and fangirled the whole time together! 

So let me talk about Alex, this man, omg he was so much cuter in person, his smile 10x warmer and his voice.... like fuck me, lol Like I thought that it wouldn’t sound as good as his videos but honestly he sounded exactly the same, even better live actually. I could listen to this man sing and play guitar for hours! I totally jus vibed out during his set, really took in the moment and just enjoyed being in the same space as him. *sigh* his gf is so lucky! lol

So after Alex it was obviously William and I only knew him from the songs he and Alex collabed together on. I honestly was not prepared, like this man, was sooooo good live, like his falsetto is on point, his covers were amazing! I love his style, his r&b swag and even his original songs... man. He got me feeling feels too. A little bit into his set my phone died and I actually am so glad it did. I really jus experienced the night and really enjoyed myself without worrying about getting things on camera. I just lived in the moment. I was just so happy and loving life. Alex ended up coming back later on and they sang the songs they did together and I almost died, like I felt like I went to heaven lol

After the concert, which ended around 10:30pm I decided to walk back, well partially. I had to find a place that was open where I could charge my phone. So I went the Tims on College and Yonge. Stayed there for a bit and then took the street car to Abby’s place. Decided to get BK cuz i was hungry and then waited for Nat to come back since she went to go and hangout with Jack while I was at the concert. When she got back we talked a bit before we went to bed. I let her sleep on the bed and I took the ground, which wasn’t bad actually.

So we wake up and we originally planned on having brunch with Jack and Bri but Jack was too sick and Bri’s schedule was too busy so we went for lunch with Celene, her man, and Abby. The place we went to was near Koreatown and we ate at this cute restaurant that had the best eggs benedict I’ve every had in my life. I go mine with baby spinach and the home fries was covered in this sauce and like i died! The conversation was good too and it was nice hanging out with friends. It was such a beautiful day too! Like the nicest day of the year so far I think. I mean I didn’t wear a coat and walked around the whole day. after lunch nat and i walked around koreatown, got my favourite fish dessert and just chilled. She had a carpool a 5pm since she was having dinner with her roomies so she went back first. I actually had a date for that afternoon but he cancelled saying he had worked out too hard in the morning and pretty much felt sick. I wasn’t too bummed about it since I still got to hangout with my friends and eat good food. We’ve been having good conversations on facebook and he seemed sad we couldn’t hangout, but its okay things happen for a reason.

When nat left I went for a bbt date with this guy I had been talking too for a week now. He was Korean and was actually pretty nice and sweet. Like physically he was okay but conversation was nice and he spoke english pretty well despite only living in Korea until like 4 months ago. He was super sweet and even walked me to my subway. it was cute date, i’d talk to him again lol

I was supposed to meet up with other friends for dinner but they cancelled last minute because something came up. Another guy I’ve been talking to for a week asked if I was free to grab dinner since he wanted to see me while I was still in town. I said yes of course, and we ended up getting dim sum in Chinatown and it was honestly sooooo good! This guy is filipino and he’s one of the ones I enjoy talking to via text all week so i was excited to meet him. He was actually so much better looking in person and his voice, sounds so nice. Like its deep and he has a filipino accent which I didn’t think i’d like but I totally did. Our conversation was so good and i just felt comfortable with him. after dim sum he offered to subway with me all the way to yonge and sheppard. thats like 30 mins on the subway. My carpool was at 10:30 so we went to the meet up spot and the carpool cancels last minute! At first I was annoyed and furious cuz now I’m stuck here till tmrw morning. But what happened after made up for it. 

We subway back to Abby’s place and then we decided that we wanted to walk around for a bit. guys, we ended up walking 3 km together. We went down beverley st. all the way to queen st. down john st., past front st. and all he way down to the harbourfront. We sat by the water for 30 mins, just talking about life, relationships, school, etc. The spontaneous nature of the whole night was something I honestly have never done before. Probably one of the best first dates I’ve had. we ended up walking up spadina from the rogers centre and made a full circle back to Abby’s place. We walked for 3 hrs almost. When we said our goodbyes he hugged me so tight and I was gonna kiss him on the cheek but i ended up giving him a peck on the lips, and then he hugged me again and then this time he kissed me and then just walked away all shy like. It was so cute and like the best way to end my night.

I went to sleep around 2am I think. Woke up at noon, and went and got starbucks with celene and her man. Then took a go train to bramalea and then a bus to kitchener go, then the 8 bus to asian grocery, then walked to campus and made it for the 5pm meeting. We then set up at 6pm for our event, and then EOT was at 7PM-10PM.

So that was my weekend getaway with myself. Honestly I’m so happy I decided to go away, even though now i’m hella broke, it was so worth it. I mean like I finally know what I want to do and what I’m gonna tell my parents my plan is. This weekend gave me motivation to get my shit together and just go after what I want to do and what I want to pursue. I swear I’m meant to live in Toronto and based of the events of this weekend I feel like in my gut its where I’m supposed to be.

I plan on going back in 2 weeks, after I’ve made some money and you know finished school stuff lol

[bloginstantmooncollector-blog]

Car insurance for my daughter?

"Car insurance for my daughter?

my 17 year old daughter wants to learn to drive in my car (citroen c3 2059plate) would anybody have an idea of how much it may cost me ! or does it pay to make her wait untill she has passed ? and any ideas on how much if she does pass.. ty .....

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Im looking for insurance for a new car. My bf had an accident in our last car and i was wondering if there is a way you can find out how much we claimed in total? As alot of insurance companies want to know this.

Mr vice president my name is michael and i am in indiana. how can i afford health insurance michael?

i tried finding insurance but i can't even afford it. what can i do

Car insurance?

my car is not insured, my friend wants to borrow it and has own insurance for their car, she allowed to drive any car with the owners consent, will her insurance be valid as i have no insurance, i belive that it wont be but they telling me differant, can someone please help me and settle this argument once and for all thank you""

Is it legal for insurance companies to require that you have a certain amount for personal bodily injury?

coverage before they can give you an insurance quote.

How much for insurance?

If I were to insure all my assets, including my house, my car, and all my belongings, against loss, theft, and damage (of all kinds), what percentage of my assets' value would be a good price to pay as a monthly insurance premium?""

""Insurance on parents car, learner?""

basically, i wish to start learning to drive and i personally would prefer to be put on my mums insurance (50 moth quote from her insurance people with me as a learner) as i want to be taught by my dad rather than an instructor (many with dad then instructor after a few months) my question is; if i crash the car, with me driving with L plates with my dad/mum in passenger could or would i effect their no claim bonus OR put their premiums up? they only have a small 1.2""

Will it cost a lot to start car insurance coverage again?

My boyfriend let his car insurance policy expire because his inspection ran out. He's working out of town, doesn't drive his car, and didnt have a chance to get it inspected.""

How much will insurance cost for a BMW z3?

I'm 16 years old but will be 17 next month. So lets say Im 17 for now. Im looking to buy a BMW z3 because they are pretty cheap and really nice cars. I maintain a 3.0 GPA and have a clean record and live in Southern California. Anyone have an estimate on how much insurance will be?

How can I lower my insurance rates at 19?

So I'm 19 and my insurance is about 100 a month and i pay 400(really its 300 but I pay 400 so I can finish faster) flat a month for a 2012 Chrysler 200 but initially at 18 I wanted a challenger, but my insurance rate was going to be more than my car payment, so here I am at 19 almost 20 in a few months and am wanting to try my luck again at getting a challenger(my dream car) but just want to know if theirs anything I can do to lower my rate for a sports car, I've built a substantial amount of credit I earn 30,000 a yr and have never wrecked is their anything else I can do? P.S I work hard and am a college student and in no way have received help from anyone to get what I want, I just work hard and want my dream car and feel like I can manage it but the insurance is killing me.""

""What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

What is the best, cheapest car insurance I can have for a 28 year old female?""

I have 1 pt on my license for drive at a speed not reasonable and prudent how much insurance rate will i pay?

I pay a high rate now for 1pt for just liability and they told me it can be really 4 pt is that true? What should my rate be for 1pt

How much should I expect to pay in Homeowners Insurance?

I am looking to buy a home and am trying to calculate monthly cost. The home we're looking at is $95,000.00. Our taxes are estimated at $800.00 and the home is in great condition (the rural location makes it affordable!) Any quick tips for a quick estimate? Anything would be helpful! Thanks!""

Should I be pestered to buy more insurance?

I have the current minimum coverage for auto insurance required by state. About 2 years ago I changed agents so that it is closer to me. At the time I was told how horrible my coverage is and for like $3 month I can get so much more. I just had a car problem and gave a towing bill my insurance covers. He was telling me again how horrible my coverage is. I feel if I have the minimum coverage and it is all I want that he shouldn't be telling me to buy more. Is it fair for me to be asked to buy more insurance if I don't want it?

Commercial business insurance and homeowners insurance?

I am closing soon on a small commercial property. It is a smaller restaurant/bar and has an apartment in back where I will be living. I'm a little confused regarding insurance. Do I get commercial business insurance for the building, and then separate homeowners insurance for the small apartment in back? Though I feel that would be strange as it's one large building essentially. Just curious what others have done, it's too late to call now, yet I will in the morning.""

Getting car insurance on a learner's permit?

i'm 22, living at home but my parents don't want me on their policy and won't let me drive their cars. so i've got to get my own - my question is, how do i get car ...show more""

Lowest possible car insurance?

I am going on a trip out of the country for 4 months, and my car will be parked in my parent's driveway with a cover over it the entire time. How can I find the LOWEST possible car insurance for these months? I called Progressive and the guy was a total salesman with me, saying, Oh you need vandalism insurance, oh and you can't have vandalism insurance without collision insurance, so before I knew it, my quote was up to $120 a month. That's barely lower than the insurance I have now! How can I just get the bare minimum, state-required insurance? I live in Nevada, by the way, if that helps.""

Im looking for cheap insurance on a land rover series 3 im 17 years old where is the cheapest company?

what is the cheapest insurance company or cheapest option???

How much auto insurance do I need if I own a home and some other assests?

My auto insurance company told me that if I'm in an accident and I don't have enough auto insurance I can be sued and possibly lose my home. I never heard of anyone losing ...show more

Car insurance for my daughter?

my 17 year old daughter wants to learn to drive in my car (citroen c3 2059plate) would anybody have an idea of how much it may cost me ! or does it pay to make her wait untill she has passed ? and any ideas on how much if she does pass.. ty .....

Affordable Health insurance in CA ?

I'm looking to buy health insurance in CA. my income is 10,000$ a year and because i only work part time. i applied for Medical few months ago through welfare office, but my case worker was really mean he was asking for a lot of documents in order to approve my application and every time i go to the welfare office they make me wait for 4 hours.so i decided to look for health insurance through Obama care website but i found that planes that cost 100$ and below doesn't cover even 30% of the medical expenses. any ideas about getting affordable health insurance in CA with good coverage ??? Thank you""

Do you have health insurance?

Do you have health insurance?

How can i get cheaper car insurance?

Ok so i'll be 17 soon and i sooooo want to drive. I found a nice car, a peugeot 307 five door 1.6 car for 2700, insurance group 4. it's a great looking car, but when i filled in details on gocompare, tescocompare etc for insurance it came up as at least 15,000 for fully comp. other cars are similar prices. i put a fake birthday in so i was 17 on the system. How can i MASSIVELY reduce the cost? i dont want tips that might save 100 or 200 pounds, but something more reasonable!!! Also im a very sensible person and will be a good safe driver not a boy racer lol!""

Car insurance - What's the car worth?

In the past when ever i've been asked by insurance companies what my car is worth i've always told them the amount that i think i could realisticly sell it for (what its worth? or so i thought) If i was to sell my car i would be able to get around 1200-1300, which is what i would say 'it's worth', HOWEVER, recently after putting my reg number into a price comparison website it automatically came up with a value of just 700. (My car has low milege, fsh and is in v good condition so is worth more than average) So my question is, if i tell them it's worth say 1250, take out their policy and then i write it off, what will they pay? The amount i told them or 'their' valuation. Also, am i paying a higher premium than i should because i'm telling them it's true value instead of their lower valuation? and if so, how many other people are doing this?""

Car insurance advice needed?

My nephew passed his driving test yesterday and has a P reg Volkswagon Polo for his first car. I've seen adverts on the tele for Direct Line car insurance and they aren't on comparison websites, does anybody know if they are averagely cheaper or not? Are there any other companies that don't appear on comparison websites? Thanks.""

I currently don't have a car what kind of insurance can I get? ?

I would like to buy insurance for when I rent cars, because the car rental insurance is just too high nowadays. What kind of insurance can I start to look for. I called a couple of places for a non-owner policy, but they were saying that I need a car first, to place the insurance on.""

Best and cheap major health insurance?

Best and cheap major health insurance?

AIG car insurance in west coast?

hi i recenlty moved from east coast to west coast...i used to have car insurance with AIG while at eastcoast....does any one know if AIG serves car insurance in westcoast also.....especially in Los angeles

Health insurance for preexisting conditions

I've been denied health insurance under a private plan due to preexisting conditions and have to wait 3-5 months to be accepted into the CA high risk pool at a cost of $320/month which I really can't afford. Also, my employeer doesn't offer health insurance. Does anyone know how to get coverage?""

What is the typical cost of condo insurance in florida?

I'm trying to understand what homeowners insurance woul cost in florida for a 2 bedroom condo. I'm not ready to call an insurance company. I'm looking in Ft.Myers. Just want to know is it thousands of dollars and out of my range or a few hundrend per year. Say for a 75k condo.

Whats the best insurance?

Im still on my dads insurance till I'm 21, but it wont cover prenatal care for his children unless its his spouse having his baby.... which is like most insurance... so what is the best insurance for me to use? I need opinions.... THANKS A BUNCH!""

How do i obtain individual short term disability insurance?

I got an offer from a small firm but they do not offer short term disability insurance. I want to have one just incase I get pregnant and need to take a maternity leave so I get paid during the maternity leave. I've called few insurance companies and they dont do individual short term disability insurance? What's my best option? Any ideas? Thanks

I just totalled my car. How much money can I expect from the Insurance company?

Car is a 2001 Chevy Malibu. Was in great shape. If you know a thing or two about cars please help me out. Thanks.

How much would it cost in insurance for a ferrari 355 rep on a toyota mr2?

its a 1996 2.0l with a 355 bodykit on it should be about half the money of the mr2 i think

Is there a site cheaper then http://www.cheap-car-insurance... to find cheap car insurance?

Is there a site cheaper then http://www.cheap-car-insurance... to find cheap car insurance?

How much is insurance for and exotic car?

like a lamborghini or ferrari or porsche?

Where can i find cheap car insurance having passed my pass plus test?

I know that pass plus can take money off your car insurance with certain companies like churchill, aviva, AA etc. But which one takes more money off or are they all the same?""

Cheapest car insurance in Wisconsin?

I'm 19 and am looking to buy a 06/07 Cobalt SS coupe (non-supercharged) and am wondering what the cheapest insurance would be? Personal experience?

How cheap can u get???

What is the cheapest car insurance for teenagers that u can get??? What company??? If it matters, I live in NC.""

What the lowest someone can get on Social Security Disability Insurance?

The one where you have worked at least a few years. I read that if you don't make more than $700 then SSI will kick in and give you the rest is that true, do you have to apply for it after the fact or is it already done for you? My husband is working on getting disability, he worked several years but his income was not continuous, he never kept a job for very long (He's Bipolar) anyways, we are trying to figure out about how much to expect he will get once it gets approved. I'm just hoping it's not like $300 a month because that's not really that helpful when we are just barely scraping by as it is. Anything will help but I am hoping this will let us breath a little and enable us to own a home for once.""

Cheapest car insurance?

i am looking for a car which will be cheap to insure. i am only a 17 year old girl, so i need to know what would be best and how much a month around about?""

Where can i get affordable health insurance?

health insurance in south carolina

Car insurance for teenagers?

Im 18 and I own a used car. Never a trouble maker. I have a part time job. I want to know what insurance I can get for my car that is affordable.

""When you get rear ended by a car, does your insurance rate go up?""

Will getting your car rear ended, or getting into any situation that isnt your fault, cause your insurance rate to go up?""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

I am nearly 17 and am really excited about learning to drive. I would really like to be driving my own car by the end of the year, however I'd really like to know how much car insurance is going to be for me, so that I can save up a little. Every time I go onto any car insurance website, it asks for my car registration and when I passed my test, which obviously I haven't done yet, so it seems really pointless, and there's no way of avoiding or trying to 'trick' it. Does anyone have any ideas of how much roughly it costs, for a 17 year old girl if your living in England?""

Car insurance for my daughter?

my 17 year old daughter wants to learn to drive in my car (citroen c3 2059plate) would anybody have an idea of how much it may cost me ! or does it pay to make her wait untill she has passed ? and any ideas on how much if she does pass.. ty .....

""What would be 15,000 pounds after tax and insurance for one month?""

What would be 15,000 pounds after tax and insurance for one month?""

Where do I find health insurance for low income families?

My children are on state funded health insurance, but my husband and I are uninsured. He is a full-time student and I work 2 part-time jobs. Neither of my jobs offer me health insurance because the companies are small. I've looked into student health insurance, but it's REALLY expensive. Doesn't Obamacare allow for insurance options for low-income families? Or do we have to wait until he graduates and gets a job to be able to get health insurance???""

What is the best health insurance in NY?

In the boroughs...NOT most affordable best... JUST the best, anywhere accepts.""

Where can i get the best & affordable health insurance?

company does not provide it anymore. where can i get the best and affordable health insurance that i pay for myself. thanks

Car insurance liability question?

I was recently in a car accident. A vehicle was attempting to pass me on the right in a parking lot and hit my car. My insurance company said that I am not at fault. However, the other party's insurance said that I am at fault for the accident and will not pay to have my car repaired. I am positive that it is not my fault and it is easy to tell by looking at the damage to my vehicle. How can I go about having the insurance company pay for the damages to my car?""

How much would insuracne cost on a 2010 Chevy Camareo for a 17 year old?

What are some nice cars that arnt sports cars? Insurance costs alot for a 17 year old with a sports car

How does car insurance work?

So I am planning on asking my friend to borrow his car to drive when he's going to travel, but I do not have any insurance. Is it okay for me to drive? His car has insurance, but I do not have insurance under my name. Does that mean if I bump into something, I will get into trouble, even though the car has insurance?""

Cheap car & insurance for young male driver?

My brother is 23. He has passed his licence 2 years ago and his pass plus 1 1/2 years ago. He's still struggling to find a car & insurance that he can afford. He's not fussy about the type of car so long as it's not a girls car (ie chiqichenco). The insurance can be third party etc. He has a budget of 400 for the car, what should he buy? The insurance quotes so far for various 1.0l-1.3l cars have all been over 1000 which is out of his price range. Any help would be greatly appreciated. xxx""

Car Insurance?

I just got my license and my parents bought me a used car (03 Nissan Sentra). It has insurance under my mom's name, but not mine. Can I legally drive that car and if I do get into an accident driving it, will it be covered?""

State Farm Insurance Rates From Fellow Users?

I will be added onto my parents policy. I got a 3.0GPA 16 Year old male, still in high school I will probably get a late 90's compact or 1/2 ton pickup. Any ideas, I herd that it will be around $300 a month. I also have taken driving classes if that helps.""

Would unemployment insurance work better if it were run by a private insurance company?

Would unemployment insurance work better if it were run by a private insurance company?

New insurance companies?

I need a list of newly opened Insurance companies.

Insurance companies will have 32 million new customers because of Obamacare. How is this socialism?

The Affordable Care Act was modeled after a Republican health care plan by the Heritage Foundation and was first implemented by a Republican governor. All this bill does is makes sure that insurance companies have 32 million new customers. I could understand if you called Single Payer socialism (which I highly support), but calling Obamacare socialist is pretty stupid.""

""Adding a driver to car insurance, average cost?""

if you add another driver to your insurance like your brother, or sister or son, who is a new driver, and your insurance costs $350 for six months already. how much do you think would be additional cost to this insurance as a result of this change? if you can share ur experience it would be nice. i know it all depends on the history of the new driver, but say the new driver did not have any accidents or anything. i need to get a general impression... Thanks in advance.""

What is the cheapest auto insurance in california and can you please tell me the monthly rate for liability?

What is the cheapest auto insurance in california and can you please tell me the monthly rate for liability?

What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?

What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?

Should 17 year old pay their insurance?

What age should they start? And is 300 horsepower on a car fast? How much would a car that fast cost? Too fast for a 17 year old?

Can a named driver get covered for business insurance on the policy insurance company sayin no is this correct?

Can a named driver get covered for business insurance on the policy insurance company sayin no is this correct?

What would be the best sports/muscle car for a 16 year old girl?

As far as insurance costs, gas, problems with the way the car runs -if any- what car would be best? Even old muscle cars from the 60s and 70s may be suggested as long as u have the year and car name for me, u did ur job! Thanks :) think most affortable and sporty/ muscle car look! List year too! Oh and pleaseeeeee keep price in mind! She has to pay for the whole car and everything that has to do with it....absolutley nothing over 15000 and even that might be too expensive""

About how much is insurance on an 18 wheeler truck ( the tractor) and about how much is a trailor 48' long

getting n2 the trucking world. expect to complete truck driving school oct 11, 2006. looking 2 start buisness or start working soon after.""

Can i put insurance on a old mobile home ?

I have a 84' model mobile home but i paid to have it remodeled so it's very nice on the inside. Well i want to rent it out so i want to put insurance on it in case a fire or etc. happens to it while it's being rented out . But can i put insurance on a mobile home that old ? and can i put as much as i want or does the insurance only cover how much it's worth ?

Can someone with a DWI that is 5 years old get non-owners insurance and legally drive someone's car?

Or better yet, if they get their own insurance in the state of NC male, 28, employeed part time get a insurance that is not at a high rate even with the DWI?""

How much cheaper will my insurance be ?

Want to no how much cheaper my insurance would be if my mum insured my car but put me down as a name driver? I have just passed my test, looking to get a fiesta 05 plate 1.2 something like that, also my mum has been driving for over 20 years ?""

18 years old.. Fast car low insurance?

In fact I don't want a fast car lol cause i will not get insured.. Or not insured cheap... Just something that looks sporty and can go quick 0-30.. Away from the lights.. Red...amber.. Green... My budget is 1000 for the car

Best car insurance out there?

im gonna be 18 soon, have had my licenses for a while, never been put on her insurance cause she wont let me drive. i want to buy a car but i don't want to buy a car and can't afford the insurance make about 30 bucks a week. whats the cheapest car insurance for a person with a 3.0""

Car insurance for my daughter?

my 17 year old daughter wants to learn to drive in my car (citroen c3 2059plate) would anybody have an idea of how much it may cost me ! or does it pay to make her wait untill she has passed ? and any ideas on how much if she does pass.. ty .....

How much would a 2004 Mazda Rx8 Liability insurance cost?

I'm a 16 year old male. Turning 17 in two months. Clean driving record. I was wondering how much it would be to insure just liability on a 2004 mazda rx8 or a 2005 Mazda rx8 Shinka? I live in Star, Idaho which is a small town on the outskirts of boise. Would it be better to insure primarily under parents and put me as a secondary driver? I know it's going to be expensive. And i'm prepared for that, but approximately how much per month or per 6 months? I have the money, and a job, and everything. I've researched this vehicle so much you couldn't believe it and its' the car I want. I learned on a ford escape and am comfortable enough to upgrade to this. I just would like to know how much insurance would be? Thanks!""

What is the average cost of teenage car insurance in illinois?

I am a 16 year old girl. I am getting a car for christmas. We are looking for a Honda Civic or Honda Accord, probably around a year 2000 or so. I get good grades, mostly A's. I am a girl. I need to know pretty fast how much this is going to cost a month. Thanks.""

Car Insurance quote suddenly disappeared?!?

I've just been obtaining quotes for a couple of cars I may buy - I'm 19 and looking to buy my first car. I was on moneysupermarket.com and noticed Admiral were consistently the cheapest company - so I kept changing some details to make the quote lower if possible, just messing around really. After around 10 quotes or so (with them being the lowest each time) I noticed that admiral was no longer displaying a quote and was now in the section shown as no quotes produced along with around 60 other companies. Why is this? Have I broken a limit of some kind? But why would the other companies still be there displaying quotes (albeit they're higher which isn't to my liking!). It's confusing and frustrating, can someone tell me why this has happened? I think I've told you as much info as possible but I'll add more detail if asked. Thanks.""

When will a vandalism( to my vehicle) go off my record for insurance purposes???

About 2.5 years ago some kids used nylons and a hamburger wrapper in my gas tank to set my truck on fire. It was a brand new tahoe with dealer plates and it had to be deemed totaled due to damages. Now I am trying to change insurance and get quotes and even though I was not at fault and didn't even know these children it increases my premiums by about 600 every 6 months. Does anybody know when this will go off my record? I cant understand why I'm being held financially accountable for some delinquents behavior.

""Buying a car, do I need my own insurance to have the title signed over to me?""

My youth pastor is selling me his 2004 Dodge Stratus, and we're planning on going to the DMV tomorrow morning to have the title signed over. Currently, my mom pays for my car insurance every month, and the car I've been driving is in her name. If I want to put the new car in my name, can my mom still pay for my insurance or do I have to be able to pay for it in order to have the title signed over to me?""

Will my Geico go up after 6 months?

My Geico is only $62.84 monthly. I have the 6 month plan. I had Allstate before switching to Geico last month. I switched because every 6 months Allstate would go up by $25. I could NOT afford it! So I switched to Geico because it was $125 cheaper monthly. Everyone I've talked to said theres hasnt went up after 6 months. I have no criminal record, no tickets, no felonys no nothing, etc. So I was wondering for all you Geico customers, has Geico been good? Has it went up after 6 months? No arrogant answers, please!""

How to approach a car insurance company to pay damages to my car?

Okay, I was involved in an accident a month ago. I was at the train station attempting to street park, I saw a car parked in the middle of the side walk and a private house driveway, I looked very carefully and no one was in the car, as I was backing up into the parking space I felt the impact on my passenger side back door, I didn't know what it was until I realized the car on the driveway had backed up into my car. The driver stated that he saw me attempting to park when he was walking to his car but he thought I saw him getting into his car, he said he was in a hurry and was late for work and I should have waited for him to get out first (he had a big ego). I never saw anyone in the car. I am the kind of person that I would have waited and then proceed. Meanwhile I only have liability coverage. My insurance company said that he was at fault- they will not pay for his damages $800. His insurance co. wont pay for mine because they said is 50 - 50 faults, my damages are $1,800 door damages estimated by the other driver claim adjuster. I dont have $1,800 to spend in fixing my car. 2005 Nissan Altima. How can I fight the other party insurance co. to pay for my damages?""

Progressive car insurance?

my mom is planning to get progressive car insurance , and they told her that it's going to cost her 81$ per month (I think) , and I am 18 years old and I wanna know how much will it cost if they add me to that insurance?""

What are some good affordable dental plans for an individual?

I currently have no dental insurance and I need something really affordable. Serious answers please

How much would it cost to insure a 07-08 Corvette.?

Considering also there is mileage around 5,000-26,000.. I am a 17 yr old girl and I was looking at the corvette and it really caught my eye! Sporty, fast, and just all over good look for me... What would be ( around / guesstimate ) the monthly payments & insurance because I heard it's cheaper for females to be insured than men.? Thanks!""

""Why do women get cheaper car insurance, that's stupid and totally discriminatory and plain our racist?""

In Europe the European courts have already ruled it unfair. google Cheaper insurance for women ruled unfair Wtf? Women are horrible drivers. I've only been in one accident my entire life of driving and it wasn't my fault, a WOMAN backed into me as I was passing a parking lot. Apparently that wasn't the first time she did that either. One other time a WOMAN almost crashed into me on the free way, she wanted to get into my lane but apparently she didn't see me and just without using a turn signal just decided to turn into my lane and luckily i was paying attention and was able to break soon enough and she probably came within inches of her back side smashing into my side. it caused me to break suddenly which made the car behind me break suddenly and honk his horn, i honked my horn and the lady in front of me was apparently clueless to the world. Anyways the reason if this is true because I don't believe it men might have more accidents is because they're more likely to become drunk. Men drink and drive more, not only that but they probably like to show off more. rates should be higher for people like them, not all men. Gender biases are unconstitutional because that's prejudice. Also it's a total lie that women make less money than men. when i waited tables, the women got all the good tips from men. while i generally just got the minimum tip. not only that but sometimes if i was dealing with another male, sometimes they didn't give me a tip at all especially if they were drunk or some scruffy looking truck driver trying to hit on the other girls. But if one of those hot girls waited on them, they would sometimes give them a tip that was more than the food that they ordered! I think it's all bs. and of course completely racist. Why does america allow this? You know in some countries they don't allow women to drive. MAYBE it's because they're bad drivers!!!""

How much would basic car insurance cost for me?

Ok so im 18 and i was just wondering exactly how much car insurance would be if i paid it by my self with out going threw my parents plan?

Car insurance question?

Can someone get insurance on a vehicle when their name is NOT on the title?? The insurance is in VA. My husband owns the car and was letting his little bro drive it, but we've removed the insurance and told him NOT to drive it, and found out that he has put insurance on it with his insurance company! Is this possible or legal even?""

What happens if im a day late on my car insurance?

i pay monthly with gieco.today my payment is due but i wont have the money untill tomorrow.will they cancel my insurance?will i have to pay some type of fee? will my car insurance go up? Plz help

HOW MUCH can my insurance rate rise up after hitting another car? backing up i hit the front right bumper/ligh

I live in California and I have full coverage on my vehicle currently I am 26yrs old and have about 6 yrs with my Dirvers license and NO accidents or tickets on my record. BUT a lot of people mention that my insurance rates will go really high whn an accident happens. I hit the car behind me it donsnt seem to me a a major accident, but a small one. I need help just an advise to know what to expect, please!! maybe in an expert can advise.or other personal experience by someone?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance in california and can you please tell me the monthly rate for liability?

What is the cheapest auto insurance in california and can you please tell me the monthly rate for liability?

Will my homeowners insurance drop me if my dog bit someone?

So last week the side gate to my house was left open and my dog got out. She bit one of my neighbors down the street, I'm guessing out of fear (she is a rescue dog). The bite wasn't too serious, but it did break the skin so my neighbor went to urgent care to get bandaged up. We apologized and offered to pay any medical costs upfront, but my neighbor preferred to let our insurance companies handle the claim. My dog hasn't bit anyone in the past, and isn't considered a dangerous breed (labrador, border collie mix). We've let her off leash at the dog beach and dog parks with plenty of other dogs and people running around, and she hasn't shown any type of aggression. What I'm worried about is my insurance company dropping us from their coverage, and us subsequently having trouble finding homeowners insurance in the future. We tried convincing our neighbor to let us settle without getting the insurance companies involved, and explained the situation, but with no luck. Does anyone have any answers or advice about the whole situation? Should I make a claim first and let our insurance company know, or should I just sit and wait for the whole situation to play out? BTW I live in California and my homeowners insurance is Wawanesa""

USAA auto-insurance discounts?

Does anyone out there have USAA for car insurance who ALSO has banking through USAA? I've been told by USAA that if I did have banking with them that I'd get a discount on auto insurance as well, but they can't tell me any specifics as to how much of a discount. If it's only gonna save 10 dollars or something I'm not gonna mess with it. Anyone out there able to tell me a decent estimate on how much I might save or how much they save?""

How does Progressive compare your insurance rates with top companies?

How is that possible? I've applied for Progressive quotes before (and wasn't impressed at all), but how are they able to do that? Insurance companies all have complex formulas that are used to calculate rates using several factors, including driving history, location, credit, household drivers, vehicles, etc. Unless they have robots online that steal competitors' bandwidth and automatically fill out the forms, it doesn't seem possible. If that was the case, you would think other companies would block Progressive from abusing their servers. Any ideas?""

What's the best florida home insurance?

What's the best florida home insurance?

Can i register a car thats being finance in new york under florida insurance.?

the bill of sale is in my name but the insurance is my girlfriend and its florida insurance can i register car in new york.

Volkswagen Golf SR insurance?

I have just bought a Volkswagen Golf SR (import) 8v 1.6 ltr and I am having trouble finding an insurance company that lists this car. Has anyone else got this model and who do you have your insurance with? Thanks for reading

Could you tell me everything i need to know about insurance in a simplified version?

About bills and insurance and all that?

Does anyone know of any cheap but good medical insurance?

I need affordable medical insurance!!!

For a BMW Mini Cooper Would car insurance be cheap for me?

My dad has an old mini cooper, it must be around 20/25 years old.""

Car insurance for my daughter?

my 17 year old daughter wants to learn to drive in my car (citroen c3 2059plate) would anybody have an idea of how much it may cost me ! or does it pay to make her wait untill she has passed ? and any ideas on how much if she does pass.. ty .....

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/dickens-nebraska-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-69132-mccormick/"

[journal-of-j34n31]

wednesday, august 30 2017

5:10 AM;

i want to first start by saying that i’ve been meaning to write on this page again but with all the things going on in my life and its hectic ways. i’ve been slumping before i could even get a chance to get on here. the way i am going to set this post up is put the date and redo the set of events in my head as if it were the time and place and whatnot. however, i am only going to go back to friday because that was the start of all the craziness that has been going on. so let’s get to it, shall we? ;)

friday, august 25 2017

i woke up this morning and got ready for a looong ass day. i had had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to commute to pal and get there by 6:45 AM. when i got there, we did our regular softball warmups. when coach arrived, we did sprints/plank/rests. after making our way to the weight room, we did bar lunges, russian twists, pull ups, push ups, medicine ball etc. let’s just say they were pushing me way too motherfucking hard, but i didn't mind. wait, there's more. that workout is not even close to being done. once weight room training ended, we made our way to the softball fields for actual practice. i ended up having to kill time before my math class so i hung around. i got out of math at 1:05 pm and made my way to meryssa’s house. she was kind enough to let me shower so i don’t travel to san deign all sweaty and stinky. it was fun talking to her and catching up in person. it was her last weekday before she started school. i finished getting ready and said a little see ya later type goodbye. i was now getting to the exciting part about my day. i don't remember what time i left, but i do know that around an hour (maybe more) of traffic later i finally arrived at my baby's school. sdsu. he had gotten there around 11/12 with his momma and they got settled into his dorm room. they finished by the time i got there so we went to go grab some panda. his mom left on our way back to the dorm room and it was me, my baby, france, as, and their roommates. we were just talking and chilling before they had their little floor meeting with their RA’s. me and as decided to go to ak’s bomb ass apartments literally the next street over. she lives not even 5 min from the school. as we were debating what the movements were and ak was showing, i get a text from my baby saying him and france went to the little night event thing the school holds as a welcoming night typa thing and to come back to the school to see them again. we made our way back to the campus and picked up char at the dorm building. paul texted us about a little frat party that we should make the movements to. we all walked to starbucks thinking we were gonna meet her and her friends there but once we hella walked over there, they were already at the party. while we were figuring out what to do, sooo many guys kept looking or talking to us. brazy. so we busted another mission to try and find that far ass place. during the time were were walking the streets, the guys were following our location. to be honest the girls were annoyed with the boys and vice versa. they were complaining we were still walking there while they were trying to catch up. antyways, we ended up meeting and made our way to the party. the second we got there the guy was telling everyone to leave as char and ak snuck right on in. as we turned around to walk back to the dorms, i remembered ak had my keys in her bag. so when they came out, they asked if we wanted to go inside even if it were for a little and i said sure why not. walking in there was so weird, there were so many boys and people in general and that would definitely be my type of scene if i went to state and was single. but i’m not complaining, i’m lucky i got my mans. we all decided to head back to the dorms except for ak and char. because everyone had to check in and i didn't go there, i needed my license that happened to be in the car. the 4 of us busted a mission to the car to go grab it and headed back. we ended up finding out the overnight policies and rules which got me excited. we were all chillen in my baby’s dorm. me and my baby on his bed and france and as on the abandoned bed above angel’s. we were all so exhausted, i ended up checking how much i walked and it turns out it was like 8. something miles. at about 12:45 as asked me what time we were leaving and i told her 1 am. we all ended up crashing and woke up at 1:01. we dipped and the drive home was... interesting. i wasn’t really tired but i couldn’t see the roads, like i they were going towards each other. halfway through the drive, as took over. when i got home, i took a shower and got ready for bed. i had to wake up the next morning by 5:45 to start getting ready and it was already 3:00 AM. i was thinking about pulling an allnighter but i ended up falling asleep. 

saturday, august 26 2017

i ended up waking up at about 7:30 or so because my phone died in the middle of the night and my alarms couldn’t go off. i was freaking out because i had to be at ae’s house by 8:30, meaning i would have to leave at 8:15, and i didn’t want to be late. i tried telling ae that i’ll just drive myself but he told me to try and make it so i wouldn’t have to. i just did my eyebrows, daily routine, and got dressed. i wanted to do my makeup, hair, etc. i ended up leaving at 8:20 and got there exactly at 8:30. when i got there, the door was open for me so i walked right inside and saw his mom/sister’s boyfriend. they were still getting ready. but it’s okay because at least i was already there and not worrying about making them late. after talking to his family, we started making our way at around 9. i was able to talk to dais in the car and she was telling me all about her boy problems and whatnot. when we finally made it to the school, we parked and walked up a whole bunch of stairs. it was worth it because at the top of it was my babyyy. we all made our way inside as the people at the school gave me and his family a pin and gave him a special pin. the ceremony was nothing too crazy, it was just a whole bunch of speakers talking in relation to school and introducing the professors for each major. when the ceremony was over, we walked back up those crazy amount of stairs and took pictures outside. i loved seeing all his family there at once, both sets of parents, both sisters. it was good that we were able to all come out together and celebrate my baby and his accomplishments/future home. we walked back to the dorm room to show his family where he will be living for the next school year. we walked them out and went back to his room. me, him, and aj walked over to the habit, busting a mission i must say, and had some lunch because we all barely ate. by the time we got back, so did as and france. we all chilled in the room, each in our own bed plus the couples, and ended up taking a nap. the guys all got up because they had to head to their meeting, however, me and as were slumped af. i got up in the middle of my sleep and no one had came back yet. i had to pee sooooo bad but i didn't want to have to wake up as to come with me. i was teeing my baby and he told me to go head to the bathroom. as i was walking down the hallway, i see the room they are all in, keep in mind the room was surrounded by glass, and the next thing i know i got a bunch of people staring at me. i started to speed walk into the bathroom and i didn’t know what to do when i was finished. i didn’t want people looking at me again because it made me uncomfortable. when i walked back, i just made no eye contact or even looked in that direction. the second i get back to my room the guys ended up coming back not even 5 minutes later. we all talked for a little bit and then grabbed our things to head back home for the boxing fight. before the actual drive home, they wanted to stop for boba. we finally got to ae’s some time afterwards. when we got there, everyone was there pre partying and whatnot. we walked inside and dais and her friends were everywhere, along with bhris. ae ended up leaving and so did france and aj. that whole night was craaazy man. we were dancing, drinking, ae even got high off a wax pen. i don’t quite remember the chronological way thing happened so i’m just going to say the events i remember. me and bhris and poncho were drinking jungle juice at the same time dais pulled up with a sparking strawberry margarita, which was bomb as shittt, and everyone else ended up getting one but me because they were all out. i called ae close to me and gave him a hug and bhris was sitting next to us. he looks over at dais and everyone else and was like “you see that? i fucking hate them, they’re fucking goals.” i thought that was so cute. ae was running all over the place entertaining everyone so i was kinda just there. my family came, too. when we were watching the fight, everyone was so into it, i was too but more less because i didn't want mcg to lose, to the point where ae told me to stop talking to him. so you know what i did the entire fight? you guessed it ;) stopped talking to him. after the crazy fight, my family was going to leave. my mom was drunk and dancing and she didn’t want to leave, but we all know how my sister is. EVERYONE kept saying how much they LOVE my mom. carl, his mom, his sister’s bf. they ended up leaving as we came back inside. dais and her friends were playing music, and we were jamming. i was at the table with dais when deepthroat came on and then his older sister looked at me like :o and i was like :o and then we started laughing. my neck, my back, and once upon a time not long ago came on after. mannn was i singing those songs, especially towards my baby. chris ended up taking like 5 shots of bacardi and poncho took some too. chris also ended up telling ae how much he is going to miss him and doesn't want him to leave and this and that. they went to the couch by the front door and did a major group hug which i thought was so cute. they ended up crying! i was hiking everywhere with dais and her friends and most f the time they were shocked at how much and how well i threw it back and when i looked at ae, he was shaking his head. we ended up yiking together and everyone went crazy and gassing me up and everything. even his older sister. we played you're a jerk and my baby was jerking and pin dropping, all which i got on snapchat BUT THEN MY PHONE DIED BEFORE I CAN SAFE IT. boof, right? i was continuing the little dancing and ae went outside with his sister’s bf. that was when he was doing the wax pen. chris came up to me and was like have you and ae said “i love you” to each other yet. i said no, and then he proceeded to say “do you love him?”. i just sat and laughed a little bit. i told him the time i said it but he didn’t and he got mad. he said “want me to go talk to him?” i said it was fine and we’ll talk about it ourselves. i was sitting at the table and he comes up to me. (side note: i told him i missed him a while ago and he just did a little laugh thing and said “i’m right here”, so i ended up saying “fine then, i won’t say it anymore.”) i told him i missed him and then never mind i said i wasn’t gonna say it anymore and he was like “oooh, oookay” and i told him every time i say it he just says ok or don’t miss me so there’s no point in saying it anymore. he took me into the other room, the couch by the front door, and had me lay next to him. he began to say “whenever you say you miss me it get’s me really sad and i start thinking about how i’m actually going to miss you when i’m not with you” and that was the end of it. he started CRYINGGG man. it was heartbreaking, actually. we talked a little bit more about going to have to stay strong for each other while we’re away. when we finished it was around 2:30 AM. he told me that we should stay there and rest a little before we head back to everyone. me and him fell asleep on the couch and i could feel myself waking up in the middle of my nap to readjust myself a few times because i kept getting uncomfortable. his step dad ended up waking us up at around 3 AM. he asked me if i was spending the night. i said no, it’s okay because the whole day ae kept telling me he doesn’t know. (side note: i hate it when i know he wants to say something but he ends up saying something else. like when he says idk or yes you can tell that deep down he wants to say no or give some other reason to say no. you’ll see what i mean later on.) then he told me “no, you are not driving home this late. come on, come upstairs you can sleep in the loft.” me and ae walked upstairs and say dais and the other girl by their bathroom. we peeked inside ae’s room and say chris in his bed and poncho slumped and spread out on ae’s. dais looked at me and asked if i wanted anything to wear. i told her it was fine and she said “you’re going to sleep in THAAAT?!” and pulled on my jean shorts. hahaha, she’s funny man. we walked into the loft and she came back and was like “here you can change into these” i changed. then, me and ae laid on the blankets that were set up on the floor. she looks at us and was like “you guys don’t want another pillow?” i said nooo, it’s okay. she comes back with a pillow for us. then as we were about to fall asleep she was like “you guys aren’t gonna use a blanket?” we said no, it’s okay. she ends up taking the blanket and spreading it onto of us. i said thanks mom and she walked back to her room and that was the end of that. 

sunday, august 27 2017

i was awaken at about 7 AM by ae. he said “do you want to just go in my room and sleep? i said sure. we went back to his room and laid down for a little bit. he ended up wanting to get wild man, and his bro was right next to us. got me ded af, lmaooo. we went downstairs and his sister, sister’s bf, and the little kids were running around. the girl, whose name i am unsure of, told us my baby’s mom walked upstairs and saw us sleeping together on the floor. she said “he moves out one day and the next he’s already sleeping with her? i’m going to have a heart attack” HAHAHA aww. not much else happened that day, we had breakfast and said bye to everyone. we walked back upstairs and i fell asleep for a little bit longer. he mentioned how cute it was that i was drooling on his arm but it was okay because it was his baby :’) i’m fucking cryinggg. wait, no i’ll be crying in a little bit. one sec. so we were downstairs and his mom was packing him snacks and whatnot. he looks at me around 2:30 and asks if i want to head out, which has me hella confused because they’re not leaving until 3:00 so i was like ??? umm okay. we go outside and he looks at me and start crying all over again! i gave him a hug and was like omg baby what’s wrong? and he told me how much he was going to miss me. i reminded him that we can do it and it won't be bad. man, i didn't think i was going to cry because i kept looking at the silver lining of the whole situation but seeing him cry breaks my heart. HERE’S WHERE IT GETS HELLA INTERESTING. so i get in my car and he goes “there’s something i’ve been holding off saying...” and he tries to pull himself together. then proceeds to say “i love you” and then we both start crying! mannn, that was so unexpected, he got me. as i was about to leave after giving him a hug and a kiss, he looks at me while he was standing next to my car door and his face just starts crying again. i got out of the car and gave him one last hug and kiss before i had to go. i love this boy with all my heart and i can’t imaging living my life without him anymore. 

tuesday, august 29 2017

it was his first day of school on monday but other than that, not much happened. i got to school at 6:40 in time for weight room practice. i walked up to alina and told her that after the coach talked to us that monday and how nicole quit, i was considering it. i went to history, then i had a break. i went to my car, then to the locker room to shower, then back to my car, then to coach’s office to talk to her about tips and advice on how to get my way to sd state school, then to my lab class. we ended up being able to leave lab like two hours early. after my chem lecture i went to get gas. the only thing getting me through the day was that i would be able to finally see my baby after a long day apart hahaha. so i made my way down south. it took an hour or so much the end result was worth it. i parked at the top floor of the parking garage as he met me there. we went to his room and all the guys went to the gym to play basketball. we just laid there and whatnot ;) we were supposed to go out and eat with everyone but we couldn’t wait. we went to this mexican place next to the dorms. it was bombbb, too and the worker was nice. on our way back, he pulled me into a hug before reaching his door building. he told me “i feel like i don't say it enough, i love you” my heart got so happy. we got back into his room to go grab my things and i hugged him. i didn’t let go and i kept reminding him i don’t want to leave him. then, when we got back to my car and it got pretty serious. it started when i said “i don’t want to go to school tomorrow” and he asked why not. i then realized why. i told him it didn’t make me happy and i dread every night before i have to go to school the next day. it’s not school itself because i actually enjoy learning. it’s the fact that i have to wake up so early, commute in long/unpredictable traffic, not being able to just come home and relax but jump right into homework, then sleep early to repeat. it became too much. taking 21.5 units and trying to have a softball/social life on top of that? it’s not possible. especially with it being my first year of college. especially starting out at a junior college. if i want to transfer to a school i want, i have to work at a high gpa and get past all my competitors so i CAN leave. that is my goal and if softball if going to get in the way of that then i can’t have it. i put way too much on my shoulders and i couldn’t carry it all. i need time to myself, time to study, and if i were to play softball i would need time outside of practice to better myself. it was one of the hardest decisions, but my baby helped me out with a talk in the car and laid out the facts and reality of the situation. he told me he would support me 100% with whatever i decide. he is the whole reason i was able to be happier and confident with the way things in my life are starting to turn out. i’m becoming an adult. i can't just do whatever i want when i want. i have responsibilities now and i am responsible for myself. that means making sacrifices if i need to so that i can become a better me. i dropped him off infront of his dorm building and before he left me he said “i love you.” goddamn, just 3 words that keep me going everyday. i talked to mr and tt on my way home and they, too, helped me out a lot. i got home and told my parents about it then took my slumped ass to bed. 

well, as you can tell i had a pretty eventful weekend + some. it is currently 7:40 AM on friday, sept. 1. i want to continue this talk but i have decided i am going to start on my baby’s “open when” letters, as it is already a week late. hopefully i’ll be able to make it to my baby’s actual birthday. if not, earlier. peace.