#its NOT fun and the way some ppl expect me to make a joke out of every single tic i have is exhausting

[celestialmancer]

As much as I can take pride in how I can draw mouths well & how fun it is to do like unique stuff w that, I always am antsy that it'll end up getting me looked at weird for drawing them or get me weird unnecessary comments.........

[achilleslyre]

having tourettes is a bummer bc even tho yes i was good at driving (when i ignored that i shouldn’t be driving) i put ppl at risk by being on the road bc there’s nothing i can do if i start ticking, specially if i have a tic attack or smth. it’s like yea i have tourettes and then ppl just view it as some silly thing that makes me do and say random thing but like. it limits a lot of things i can physically do. i’m in pain all the time bc of it. i’m stared at, yelled at, and treated weird/different by strangers because of it. ppl wont serve me bc of it. it makes ppl uncomfortable to be around me. it makes me ruin my own stuff. say shitty ass things. i’m so exhausted from my tics all the time. but sooo seriously i am in pain so often bc of it. tourettes is treated as such a joke too by ppl it’s frustrating. the amount of times i’ve had ppl tell me they “wished they had tourettes” so that they could tell ppl to fuck off/punch ppl/smth of the like and then just say it was a tic is. a crazy amount. like NO you don’t. why would you even say you WANT a disability!? making up fake tics to insult and harm ppl is the LAST thing on my mind. in fact i so intensely don’t want to fake it (lest it become a real tic) nor actually have that as a tic! it sucks! so many people stop being my friend bc of my tourettes! the amount of ppl that believe my verbal tics are my true inner thoughts is insane! it’s exhausting!

[janmisali]

the typical way to respond to a harmless prank is to feign some level of upset because to be pranked is to be the butt of the joke. it is saying "you got me, I Have Been Had." a smirk and a "you son of a bitch," and the prankster gets to feel proud for pulling that off. good pranks make both parties have fun w it, but whats good for some is just annoying to others. repeated pranks become in jokes where the pranked isn't necessarily tricked but playing along to be nostalgic for the time they were w their friend. its a bit of a script, esp with The Game which expects a particular punchline, and ppl are absolutely assholes for being dicks if u dont know, get, or care about the gag theyre trying to get u to participate in. it'd be like trying to talk about Updog and then getting mad cause the target Will Not Say "What Is Up Dog?" and it means They Also Are Not Doing It "Right". the prank isnt inherently shitty but being a dick when u dont get the reaction you Want is.

and it is Very common, esp among kids, for harmless pranks to crossover to "this person is just being an obnoxious ass and blaming u for not celebrating it." doing that is bullying.

I agree with this for the most part, but I will say that I don't actually think The Game qualifies as a prank? like, you've been "tricked" into performing an imperceptible non-action ("haha! I've tricked you into perceiving me saying The Game out loud, or writing it somewhere! gotcha!"), and the closest thing to a tangible effect "losing The Game" has is the social script that comes with it. it doesn't naturally or logically follow from "the rules" that losing The Game is a negative experience, you're just socially expected to act as though it is.

[pumpkinpie59]

random hot takes i have cause i’m bored and emotionally dead:

-i literally cannot stand any leo ship other than leolotus, especially if it involves 87 leonardo. i’m sorry but it has made me physically nauseous before. shipping as a joke or a small crush on someone else is fine but pls don’t bother me about other leo ships it’s too much for me. ((i won’t hate u if u ship other ships dw <3 i just ask not to be bothered by it)

-i’ve already ranted about this so i won’t go into depth but i hate the 2012 season 4 finale (moreso requiem than owari but owari still bothers me). i think in general? i think 2012’s writing is mindbogglingly bad after they leave the farmhouse in season 3, but that doesn’t mean i don’t still enjoy a lot of it. just don’t expect me to drop the issues that bother me. season 1 is my baby tho and i’ll defend it to my dying day.

-2012 apritello is good. they just had to go through character development. my only issue with it is that their entire situation was pushed to the background so ppl only notice their development if they’re paying attention to april and donnie the whole time (like i do).

-1987 treats its girl characters better than the other shows which is shocking.

-capril sucks. i have literally never liked it or was just neutral to it. i got close to liking them in idw but then casey became a jerk.

-that said i don’t like shipping casey or april with the turtles with the one exception of 2012 apritello.

-i think 03 casey and splinter are annoying.

-2012 casey is best casey :p

-2012 michelangelo pisses me off. he has some good lines here and there and sometimes has fun dynamics with other characters but in general he’s just an ableist representation of adhd and he literally never faces consequences for his mistakes and instead everything works out for him so he never grows. like literally he stays the same throughout the show. also i dislike his actor sorry :p and his entire dynamic with renet just ruins renet as a character and it bothers me.

-i forget rise exists most of the time tbh. it’s good but like. i forget. also rise leo and donnie’s writing bothers me anyway-

-1987 content needs to sTOP mischaracterizing raphael PLS PLS PLS. “michelangelo is the jokester and raphael groans at his jokes” NO!!! raphael is the jokester so he gets upset when his brothers make stupid jokes bc that’s HIS thing !!!!!! and he’s not angry in the same way other raphaels are except in red sky when he was angry that they became villains in society’s eyes!!! but otherwise he’s emotional and whiny but not angry!!!

-leonardo is best when he’s a dork. he wants to do the right thing but will be a frickin idiot about it but - oh wait buddy don’t do that no wait put the sword down hold on-

-the turtles should never have blue eyes but especially not michelangelo.

-ramona is great but it’s okay for them to just be friends too. either way they slay <3

-lotus blossom and jhanna are the most under appreciated characters in tmnt give them some respECT-

-i think howie should come back. not bc he’s a good character i just wanna see what would happen.

-i hate koya. so much.

-mondo/mikey makes me rlly uncomfortable. it feels exactly like leo/venus since they mutated in the same place so mondo feels like a long lost sibling …

-this is literally just my take and i don’t expect others to agree but like. the 1987 team is the only version of tmnt where i feel like every turtle is equally likable and works as a unit best. like i like 03, but i don’t especially get attached to mikey? he’s good but compared to the other 03 turtles he’s just not my fav. same with 2012 but more extreme since it has rlly good raph, donnie, and leo,, but like i said i really dislike mikey. and then i’m not rlly attached to the rise turtles except mikey. the 87 team tho is all great.

-while i rlly love rise casey, i think waiting to reveal she was casey was a bad idea. i think she should’ve been introduced as casey or should’ve been a different character,,,

-i like red sky but the last episode was a disappointment,, also where are all my fav side characters 😭

-the turtles should never be tall they will always be lil guys to me. they should be under 5 ft plsssss

-not a hot take just a hc that was recently revealed to me and i think it’s genius: the 5th turtle kirby (like from 90s concept art) should be the donatello clone from 1987. like hello??? that’s genius pls watch the clone donatello episode

-if i see yall reducing mm april to just be shipped with leo i will end yall.

-lotus blossom is an interesting character even without her connection to leonardo and i wish everyone would notice !!!!

-not a hot take but rob paulsen should be in every tmnt thing we should make it tradition.

[bcofl0ve]

that blog made a dig at us who say we miss austin and hope we see him soon/get pictures and said we’re basically “bad fans” for wishing some of his privacy gets taken. like no. i don’t want him hounded or followed but he is filming in nyc which is BUSY and bustling with people and paps.

and even so at least *we* aren’t the ones who don’t see him get papped with his girl for A WEEK OR TWO and immediately start saying “oh yeah a break up is here! broken up!” have they ever thought that *most* of his pap walks are done w kaia bc as a celebrity austin understands he is going to get spotted so he would rather be in control and allow the paps to photograph him and his girlfriend on their terms because then at least they’ll know and he won’t be alone? maybe he feels more comfortable getting papped w kaia? not that i think every pap picture of them is planned (but you can tell some are which is NORMAL for famous people and if he’s gonna get papped at least its with someone who he trusts/he will look out for/will look out for him)

i will never take bad fan accusations from that side. ever.

and they’re very much mischaracterizing me. yea, i’ve said more content (of austin, not just him and kaia) would be fun! if they disagree with that they are lying sorry lmao. but i’ve also said 1000 times that at the end of the day if the level of privacy he keeps is what makes him happy/makes him feel safe and secure then i don’t mind- because that’s what’s most important to me as someone that likes them as People not just Celebrities. i’ve called people entitled and annoying for being too demanding of austin myself!

i’m a human and there’s been times i’ve regretted a joke or post that i later thought was too far or in bad taste. i’ll own that. but i’ve gone out of my way to try and keep this a space that’s fun for fans/gossip interested fans while being a space that adheres to expected fan boundaries. if i ever thought i could no longer do that, i’d leave. a “fan space” that is primarily centered around being belligerent and hateful towards his girlfriend is not a space i’d consider respectful and thoughtful of austin. and i will not take criticism from someone who mods for such a space.

i know where my heart is. if ppl want to old man yell at clouds twisting my words they can do that i guess.

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

ok my opinion now that i finished y8's story (spoilers)

tldr; overall it's a flawed but better end for kiryu than 6 imo. n ichiban is there <3 don't play this as your first yakuza game please don't you will get so much more out of this if you actually know who tf anyone is

it wasn't as awesomesauce as it seemed like it was gonna n it fell into the usual rgg problems - while surprisingly fixing a big one

kiryu's story effected me a lot 🥲 while ichiban's was just mostly "well i get to see ichiban yay". not to say i didn't care at all lmao the hawaii plot definitely still had it's strong moments (especially the scene w chitose after the bryce boss!!!) it just didn't hit the same overall

positive: KIRYU. i honestly loved most of the kiryu stuff. letting him look back outside of traumatic flashbacks.... letting him have a nice time..... giving him all these new friends that won't die on top of reassuring him that his old connections are still alright.... getting his ass punched by akiyama lmao. it really makes you realize how weird of an ending y6 would've been if that was truly kiryu's last game. so nice to finally be able to acknowledge previously tossed out characters/story beats in-game. seeing shinada mentioned… i cheered (i wish he was actually in there tho). on the hawaii side: tomizawa n chitose r sooooo good i didn't even think i'd end up liking chitose but i lov her.... n ichiban is the ichiban as usual

n the main villains don't die this game!? they're expected to live w what they did, even the evil cult leader!?!? kiryu's line abt not being able to change anything if you're dead wow wow wow hearing that after the prev games where a lot of them die even when they were able to change wooooooow. the pre-credits ending was sooooooo strong. I LUV KIRYU :( :) :(

<3 the tweaks to gameplay were nice too + it was a very pretty game

it had to grow on me but i like kiryu's y8 look a whole lot it's very nice n goes well w his softer expressions

negative: not as well optimized for pc (or in general) as y7 it feels like? i already said i liked kiryu's plot more than ichiban's... yeah. pretty mad that hanawa died but whatevar i guess... i understand saeko's conflict w ichiban but don't really like how they wrote her at times it made me kinda frustrated. esp w the joke at the end. really the whole y7 party took a step backwards in some ways (tho they're still great mostly) it's just saeko got it the worst. also i really don't like how long they took to get me to actually like yamai bc his reason for being in hawaii was constantly in the back of my head n then at the very end after all the fun stuff already happened they were like "actually he didn't try to assault her she framed him" fuuuuuuck you at least tell us that way earlier instead of suddenly detouring in the penultimate chapter. "well they had you warm up to him so you'd know something was up! they wouldn't make an sa-er likable!" listen. listen. i love rgg but if you think i trust them w women.... n if you think i forgot y4......... i didn't realize they still had the dating thing from 7 in there either till i saw someone else mention it n i refuse to touch it :/

too many blonde blue eyed white ppl in the substories wtf why do they outnumber the natives

my one gripe abt the kiryu side is that we didn't get to see him actually reunite w haruka n haruto IN GAAAAME BEFORE IT ENDED. LIKE WE KNO HE WILL BUT I WANTED TO SEEEEEEEE ON SCREEEEEEEN

my current ranking:

y0 = y7 > y3 > y5 > y8?? (not entirely sure bc its like. the highs n lows are so drastic) > kiwami 1 = y1 > kiwami 2 (don't get mad at me) > y6 (doooon't get mad at me i started liking it less when 8 was announced) > y4

gaiden not there bc its a short side game but i liked it so i'll mention it. didn't play the og y2 </3

[mossumbrella]

Tag Nine (9) People You Want to Know Better!

Got tagged by @pulzerizedpeaches :3c

Last song: Halloween by Phoebe Bridgers…. Oops i fuckin looovee her Punisher album aouwgh makes me want to lie on floor and fade into the grass beside an abandoned highway…

heres some fav lyrics from it:

“I hate living by the hospital / the sirens go all night / i used to joke that if they woke you up / somebody better be dying”

“always surprised by what I’d do for love / some things I’d never expect / they killed a fan down by the stadium / was only visiting, they beat him to death”

“baby, it’s Halloween / there’s a last time for everything”

AWAUGH those kill me every time god dmanit

Currently Watching: Snapcube's shadow the hedgehog realtime fandub video v good n funny hehe I also recently finished miraculous ladybug s5 and holy shit things are happening .. i do not keep up with that show v actively n awuagh things are Heating Up . even with its flaws i still found it overall an enjoyable watch (also i saw a lotta ppl disliking kitty noire's design but i kinda like it lol its wild looking in a fun way)

Currently Reading: i re read the amulet graphic novel series recently that i havent touched since i was like in elementary school and it was p good still! i cant believe theres still one more book to go till its finished tho wowie wowie

Current Obsession: artfight brainn; also my gardens been doin p good! tho i finally found out whos been stealing my strawberries its the fuckin SQUIRRELS

also the city of mist ttrpg im in with my friends Oh Boy we are getting near the end of our first arc and um. Uh Oh PC death..???? screaming crying on the floor from last session

Tagging: awhah i think the only mutuals i got are @kellystar321 n @sharkiethedork if y’all wanna do this! (but ofc u dont have to !! orz)

[cruelsister-moved2]

Im the hater anon omg i didnt mean to lead u astray but i haven't finished it i'm just over half done. i probably will finish just so i can coherently say why i don't like it bc rn my thoughts are all over the place but  u hit all the major points im like nodding and taking notes rn.  Its very shallow lore wise like its all overly complex exposition that barely effects the plot. I could write about this for 100 years but basically it was boring and i just feel like it has nothing to say like theres no purpose or message and i think speculative stuff should have SOME weight behind it idk.  That paired w how the writing itself is like..not pretty or artful or anything………………….

And on top of that its not even actually funny. Instead of real jokes its just 100 million mcu quips awkwardly inserted so that no situation is ever treated genuinely or seriously or with depth. For example. My personal least favorite part beyond general quality so far is how often they bring up gideon being inappropriately horny… idk how else to word it.. Its one of her 3 personality traits. they mention her porn collection i swear every couple of pages. its played 4 jokes but like the rest of it its literally unfunny and feels so out of place. Like this is right when they just discovered an incinerated body → ”she looked troubled, which made Gideon sad, but she was also soaked right through to the skin, which made Gideon need a lie-down.” Its like if someone whose only point of reference was tiktok during that era where every vaguely masc woman got made fun of for being a quote hey mamas lesbian unquote tried to write a masc woman.  Reading it as a masc lesbian myself is just sort of embarrassing idk if other ppl feel differently but it just feels overplayed and goofy. 

Anyways… this is all very long and incoherent but thank u for complaining and vindicating me… i started reading it a couple days ago on a whim bc ive been seeing ppl talk abt it a lot lately and i was instantly SOOOOO disappointed. Part of it was definitely that i was expecting something very different because of how people talk about it but also its just like bad. Its insane. I also had no idea abt the roachpatrol thing so ummmmmm :(

hiiiiiiiiii omg so your suffering isn't even over yet my condolences.

the worldbuilding exposition industrial complex needs to end im so serious. I just had such a nice conversation with some writer friends about soft vs hard magic systems and world-building and how frustratingly common the assumption that more complex lore you dump the more sophisticated your story is at the moment. in reality many more sophisticated stories deliberately utilise abstraction and whimsy for thematic statements. v happy for brandon sanderson fans but again, a lot of those stories are basically like mystery novels except the magic is the mystery, whereas the speculative fiction authors who... actually speculate...are often using it as a tool to speculate about our own existence.

and the writing is so ugly like I've read a couple of chapters and I feel like i could get through a mid story if it's at least well written but it wasn't even inoffensive it was actively offputting like that prose was stinkyyyyyyyyy..... and the quips exactlyyy like who is laughing at none pizza with left beef anymore and the fact a lot of it isn't even the author being witty but just like. a reference to a meme? it's literally supposed to be like gritty but then everyone is memeing and quipping all the time how are you meant to take that seriously?

and okay the like sexualisation of Gideon had kind of been my suspicion but I hadn't read enough to make that claim for certain so. that's disappointing to have it confirmed. given that the author is a fem woman who calls herself a lesbian whilst being homestuck married to a guy, it really brings up some kind of discomfort in me to be using masc women that way and making a joke out of them and their sexuality and calling them himbos and shit like. it really doesn't seem like she actually knows any masc women??? and when that was a huge part of the marketing for the book it comes to feel exploitative.

one thing to be aware is that tor like. pushed it really hard marketing-wise for whatever reason. I guess they feel it symbolises a new era of sci-fi and like were using it as an outreach effort to engage the generation that mostly only reads fan fiction or whatever which I guess cheers if it achieves that. but the majority of negative reviews are specifically that it was nothing like what they expected it to be, because of the.... super gimmicky marketing.

the tagline being sword necromancer lesbians in space or something so lame 😭 and it really seems like the elements came first and the justification came second so it's never really explained why they use swords instead of more technologically advanced weapons (bc the answer is 'it sounds cool') or really why it needs to be in space at all (because the answer is 'it sounds cool'). even the necromancy is supposedly fairly tangential and ive seen people be underwhelmed how much actual lesbianism is involved too 💀

9mbut yeah the r0ach patr0l thing I wish people were more aware of because honestly above anything else, I've seen people who were fans and then found this out and felt super uncomfortable so I think people deserve to know what kind of background she has, and this is literally where she developed her writing and her name as a BNF so it's directly connected to her current career not just like a celebrity who tweeted something dumb when they were 14. like I think it's fair to take that into account + idk it's INTERESTING to me that she went from that to debuting with a masc lesbian whom she projects like comic hypersexuality onto it really is all much to think about truly

[dramalets]

2023 Watch List pt2

Other list was getting annoyingly long for my liking so part two it is.

Not Me - I am not the biggest lover of Off's acting. A darling but, to me, not anywhere near as good as others at GMMTV. So I went into this with a lower expectation than some. I was incredibly pleasantly surprised. Essentially a story about a rough around the edges little anti-establishment found family, this drama had a lot to say and really managed to execute those messages without feeling preachy about it. Fantastic cast all round and I fell head first for DanYok. 4/5

Never Let Me Go (series and Our Skyy) - Umm. I feel like I felt like I knew what this was trying to do but that it got a bit lost at times. The script is kind of muddled. As ever JoJo pulls amazing performances out of a very young pup cast and its really those performances that make a confused script work. The cinematography is also stunning. Pond, for me, again suffers a little from a general stiffness, he gives some great emotion in this but, for me, has a lot of growing to do as an actor. It says something when I felt more strongly for Perth and Chimon who're barely in this. 3/5

The Warp Effect - Literally never seen anything as wholly sex positive and fun as this. The whole cast works amazingly and seeing kinks represented in a way where they weren't jokes was beautiful. Also, accurate female orgasm faces. Deserves a five for that alone. But seriously, don't skip this one. Queer, feminist and sex positive this deserves all the flowers. 5/5

The Jungle - This is stupid. I know it, you know it. Everyone who watched it knows it. But damn it was fun. Essentially a group of fuckboys, that routinely fight other fuckboys for treating girls badly, accidentally catch feelings for some cool women. Everything is nice too look at and the acting is great (especially Nanon, ohmygod) so honestly, strong rec. 3.5/5

Vice Versa (series and Our Skyy) - I get why people didn't warm too this, the ppl is honestly the worst I've ever seen and the concept is a little bizarre, but it just had something I really liked. JimmySea are an incredibly comfy feeling pairing, it's soothing to watch them together even when the script is a little daft and the ppl ridiculous. I'm rarely strongly moved by dramas but the scene where Puen is saying his goodbyes too Tun's parents just had me gone. Also just Jimmy in general does some beautiful, emotional work throughout. (Which makes the ppl issue even more annoying for me. They're too good to have to do stupid scenes about choco pie and lays potato chips.) 4/5

Cupids last wish - Ummm. This isn’t terrible but it’s also not that great. It just is. The script is so muddled that sometimes I thought I’d missed an episode, I hadn’t it’s just a confused script, and if the leads weren’t talented it wouldn’t really work at all. The period part is art but overall the representation of women in this is questionable at best and downright bad and cringe at worst. Watch for EarthMix and go watch Jan in Warp Effect where she’s allowed to be great and all the women are fully realised characters. 3.5/5

History 3: Trapped - This isn’t perfect, there’s some weird continuity stuff and things that didn’t feel fleshed out, but it’s A LOT of fun and the cast is fun. I really enjoyed the main pair and their back and forth was a lot of fun to watch. 3/5

Hidden Agenda - This wanted to be so many things that it just wasn’t. Joke was barely given a personality beyond ‘I love Zo’ and Zo was at times annoying but mostly just boring. Aou&Boom’s side characters were compelling and their relationship felt healthy and fully realised. I really can’t say the same for Joke & Zo. You’re scarcely shown any reason that they like one another and Joke just floats around looking mournful like he’s got trapped wind. Not one I’ll revisit. 2/5

My tooth your love - Ehhhh. First few episodes are nice. Dentist is a walking red flag who deserves to be told to fuck off and,as cute as the the wee baby gay side character is, I didn’t really appreciate the side romance between the 18 year old and the grown man that takes on a pseudo care giver role for him. (I know that’s a me dislike and he’s of age so it’s legal but, for me, it’s ick.) 2/5

Laws of Attraction - Every now and then a show comes along that shouldn't really work but 100% does and this is that show. Most everyone in this is a soap actor, you can tell, but that only adds to the beautiful camp absurdity of the thing. Charn is a deliciously villainous 'life is for profit' lawyer and Tinn is a soft, cosy, Labrador of a human. The untimely, heart breaking death of Tinn's niece brings the pair together to solve the mystery of how she died. There are lots of things you have to overlook with this but the central puzzles are good and intriguing and everyone's acting is good. (Watch this on dramacool if you're not in the states. The YouTube subs are absolute balls.) 4/5

My School President (series and Our Skyy) - I am older but I fall into the category of adult who was terrible at being a teen and, therefore, solidly enjoys good teen content and this is definitely that. Fourth & Gem do an excellent job as our leads and this show just serves you a consistent slice of fluffy delight. Their respective friend groups are also excellent and the Our Skyy concept gave me solidly genuine amusement. 4/5

Cutie Pie - Call me a hater but I'm just not a fan of Nu's 'brat' and Zee's 'brat tamer' dynamic. I think they're both probably better than this is but their fans LOVE that dynamic so I don't think they'll be escaping it anytime soon. This was just a bloated mess. 2/5

Love in the air - I am not a mame fan. I think she's a shit tier fanfic writer who needs some serious therapy. But when that women achieves casting excellence her shtick becomes pulpy and addictive. Everything about the plot is red flag central but you cant keep your eyes off. Personally I rated the FortPeat pairing higher than the BossNouel one but both had their charms. (I fast forward the gang rape scene because jesus fuck mame why.) 3/5

Wedding Plan - This was a thing that I watched. Boring, badly paced and didn't even get good spicy scenes because it was a partnership with GMMTV. Snooze fest. Unless you're a person who thinks Mame is actually a good writer, you won't get much from this. 1/5

[serenitea-boyyo]

Yk, I recently got rid of a deep part of my brain that kept telling me ‘yeah, u like boys and girls but u like boys more bc ur fav characters are men’ and when i did that i knew that i grew tf up. I realized that yes i like fictional men, FICTIONAL!! But I LOVE real life women. And when i was staring up at my ceiling, trying to sleep but couldn’t, it dawned on me. I’m a lesbian! And its actually made my heart so full! It felt like I could breathe finally, like nothing in the world could stop me. And i think back to high school me vying for boys attention so i could prove to my girl friends that ‘yes, i can get a man, bc of course i’d love to go on a double date with you’ even though i just wanted to hang with her. I would use them as a crutch. And when things inevitably didn’t work out, as most high school relationships do, I found myself missing them, my “boyfriends”, but not romantically. I’d miss the way they’d joke around with me, the way I had a male perspective just at the ready, the way I had a cushion from the outside world bc they saw a boy and a girl giggling on the back of the bus and assume we were flirting instead of making fun of each other for something dumb we did at lunch. That they’d see someone normal. Someone who lives up to unsaid expectations, someone who is youthful and not complicated. Someone I was faking to be. I missed their friendship, and yes i know that some ppl are friends with their exes but once they realized that I wasn’t who they wanted me to be, and that I wasn’t who I wished to be… we parted ways. I do have male friends, I have female friends, I have enby friends, I have trans friends, I have friends. But is that enough? When what I really want is only available in the years 2017-2019?? I want to be an uncomplicated teenager, the way I never was before. I want a do over. But time travel hasn’t been invented yet so here I am, rambling into the vast space of the internet. Hoping that it’ll reach someone. And maybe it will. And we can talk about how uncomplicated the teen years were and how our parents had to of known what we were doing at our friends house. But now I’ll lie back, reminiscing on the past, figuring out my present and manifesting my future, and hopefully, one day, I’ll find a woman, get married, and love her with my whole being, something that I never dreamed of doing back then, but will allow myself now. I’ll indulge a bit, I deserve it, and when she comes, I’m here.

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

ohoho how about la squadra with a s/o that used to be priest/nun, but they have chosen to forsake god

their mind turned out to be the filthiest shit they’ve even encountered, yet their s/o is the one who call his/her boi “filthy sinner”

basically a smug, hypocritical, not openly perverted freak uwu

I’m sorry that u have to work on this but I couldn’t resist the temptation, since your writings brings me so much joy .///.

anon this ask is absolutely fucking hilarious to me because i'm jewish and we have a number of traditional teachings that lend towards some very pragmatic views on sex (and i never really fully understood priest/nun kink and find it funny more than anything because our religious leaders fuck FNFKFKGJFKD) but i will do my best for u!!!! and thank u im so glad my writing brings u joy 🥺

honestly i think views on priest/nun kink from the perspectives of ppl who are Very Much Not Christian should be its own brand of comedy LMAO

la squadra with a partner who was a priest or nun 🛐

HEADS UP: this post contains mentions of religious trauma. pls stay safe i love u and so does la squadra ❤️

18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

risotto ✂️

he'll be very curious. he and catholicism do not get along, so he'll wonder if he should be wary or if you're a kindred spirit of sorts

part of him looking satanic and scary is cause it makes him feel safe from that sort of environment. if you express to him that you understand that and you're comforted in being an antithesis to that life too, he'll feel very safe with you.

and he does like your filthy mind, it's satisfying to him and also part of that comfort that you were like 'fuck this actually' and did a 180 into being a kinky assassin. hard line at bringing that shit into the bedroom though. not into it. he'd rather get back in touch with his humanity with you instead of feeling like a 'sinner.'

prosciutto 🚬

he'll raise a brow when he learns of your past. he wonders how you wound up here, but he won't ask. he doesn't think much of it.

he would think he wouldn't have expected you to be so depraved, but on the other hand, you did leave that life behind. it's kinda funny to him more than anything

fondly call him a 'filthy sinner' and he'll chuckle and whisper in your ear: hypocrite.

pesci 🎣

he'll honestly wonder if you're like, Okay. like, u good? most people generally don't go from 0 to 100 like that. sweet man is just concerned

HE DEFINITELY DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE SO KINKY. it sort of catches him off guard, but then he thinks maybe it shouldn't be so surprising considering the 0 to 100. he's still very flustered, tho

probably not into bringing it into bed. definitely not into degradation, so!!!

formaggio 🧀

he cracks a lot of jokes about it that's for sure. it's really funny to him

he kind of can't believe how kinky you are not for the fact of what you used to do but because it's too good, right? he's definitely into it tho. he likes how no one coulda guessed.

lovingly call him your 'filthy sinner' and he'll hum and grin and flip you on your back. you want a filthy sinner? he'll give you one. you're his sinner, too

illuso ✨

it definitely interests him. he may taunt you about it; embrace the 'fall from grace' as it were (something something lucifer) and he'll be even more interested.

oh, he really likes how kinky you are. he will absolutely tease you about it. you're such a depraved thing, aren't you? no wonder you left a 'holy' life behind.

call him your sinner, and he'll say you're the real sinner here, but he does enjoy being 'unholy' with you. he will absolutely take you into the mirror world to fuck in one of those fancy cathedrals, the whole ass sistine chapel even. thank u michaelangelo for this depiction of christian god so illuso can defy it by making his partner pray to him in front of it instead

melone 🍈

fascinating! he'd be very interested in learning more on your choice to leave and your perspective if you're down for it.

he LOVES how kinky you are. were you always like that? of course you weren't satisfied with that life. he could certainly satisfy you, though.

call him your filthy sinner, and he'll kiss your neck and go, mm, i think that's you, amore.

ghiaccio ❄️

how the fuck does that happen? he may be sort of mildly curious, but that's all.

it makes perfect sense to him that you're Like That, you rejected it all and became an assassin ffs. not that he isn't still a little bit flustered about it.

he doesn't get the fond name. how can he be a 'sinner' if he isn't even christian???? that shit don't make any sense!!!!! if anyone's the 'sinner' here it's you, but he doesn't get that either cause you chose to leave that life anyway. make more sense, dumbass!!!!!

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

they're having the time of their lives. they love to see that nonsense taken down a notch, and the fact that you do too and did it so thoroughly? oh. chef's kiss.

OF COURSE YOU'RE KINKY. THEY LOVE IT. they're rather depraved too, so they'll have a lot of fun fucking you every which way and teasing you about it.

'filthy sinner' kind of turns them on. they love being bad with you and walking further away from god with you (or whatever). they don't need the mirror world to fuck you in a cathedral, get on their level!!!!!

[merlinoutofcontext]

wait so why do you think merlin isn’t queerbaiting? this isn’t meant to be rude im just curious

hey! happy to answer, and i didn’t perceive your question as rude at all btw. here are my thoughts, i’m sorry they’re so long but i also don’t think this is a topic that can be summarized in a few sentences, so...

i don’t really know how else to say that it isn’t queerbaiting by just stating that it isn’t. there is very little evidence in the actual show to even claim that the show was at any point queerbaiting. but to be fair, i also think it’s important to note the term “queerbaiting” doesn’t even have an “official” definition so it can mean very different things to different people. this is the definition that i am working with.

“When an author/director/etc. gives hints, and clever twists to paint a character as possibly being queer, to satisfy queer audiences, but never outright says they are so they can keep their heterosexual audience.”

bbc merlin is a family show. and i don’t mean “family show” in the way that it is usually insinuated - as in it’s supposed to be “clean” and “nice” and “appealing” to a family audience, so therefore any queercoded message is bad and not appropriate. what i mean is that it’s a tv show that was expected to be approachable by families of all ages, at any point throughout the series, so that they can understand what’s happening. whether or not you watched the episode that aired the previous week has absolutely no bearing on the next episode. merlin only started having multi-episode arcs in series 3. and it’s this reason why i think so many ppl are dissatisfied with the show, bc it wasn’t meant to be this deep narrative. they didn't have enough time to write in full fledged storylines. but i digress.

i’m going to be using other tumblr obsessed tv show and ship as examples here. 

i will admit that my original post was sparked by some of the stuff surrounding supernatural that’s happened, but i’m not really going to speak to it much. i do think the internet may have went a bit overboard, and i don’t want to sit here and claim spn was queerbaiting its audience because i actually do think thats kind of a subjective thing. but in my opinion, the fact that they waited until their final season, and what appears to be a characters last episode, to make the ship that has been a large driving force of their remaining audience for the past 12 years, canon, does sit a little weird with me. anyway.

lets use another ship as an example that is literally, unequivocally queerbaiting. i don’t care about your opinion here, this show queerbaited the hell out of its audience for 7 literal years. johnlock.

multiple times throughout the show the relationship between john and sherlock is hinted at through the language of the show, by characters in the show, etc. more often than not, the concept of a relationship between them is framed as a joke. additionally, bbc’s sherlock kept the sexuality of their main character (coincidentally the titular character) ambiguous, while also managing to make fun of their audience of shippers for even thinking that johnlock could be a possibility. 

never once in bbc’s merlin is the concept of arthur and merlin being close to one another, or connected by fate/destiny/magic (which is often seen as being coded for sexuality) as a bad thing. not in the text of the show, not by the creators of the show, not by the actors in the show. in fact, even in the last episode, merlin’s devotion to arthur is only ever framed as a positive:

“Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me, I was born to serve you Arthur and I’m proud of that. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

similarly, sometime after this arthur tells merlin to never change. in my opinion, a distinct aspect of a queerbaiting show is when the show places hints in the language used by the characters to say that a character might a) be queer in some way or b) have a relationship with someone of the same gender as them. but then when the fandom talks about this towards the actors, or the creators of the show, it’s immediately pushed away by creators and seen as a negative thing. or it’s completely ridiculous that the fandom would even think of such at thing.

people will argue that merlin’s devotion to arthur, and their relationship in general is what makes it queerbaiting. that by the sheer existence of some longwinded eye contact, or statements of friendship and devotion to each other that the show was queerbaiting its audience. but the difference is that merlin’s devotion to arthur and subsequently arthur’s devotion to merlin was never framed as a joke for the audience, or as a negative thing. it was written as something we are supposed to celebrate about merlin.

this show was never written with the intention for merlin and arthur to be together. it’s a retelling of arthurian myth with a bit of a twist in it. merlin and arthur are meant to be the main characters, but a romantic relationship was never on the table. 

characters do remark on merlin’s loyalty to arthur, but it’s always in a questioning way, a why is this man so loyal to the king? what is the big reason? and, yeah, the Big Reason is his magic and their shared destiny. and yes it’s a valid interpretation that magic/destiny = sexuality, and merlin = gay (used as an umbrella term here). but that doesn’t mean it’s queerbaiting. it’s just subtext.

and subtext =/= queerbaiting.

[a-slut-for-smut]

Hi there! I saw you mention that you were currently pregnant. So, writing-related question for you: what are some of your biggest 'omg NO, it's literally NOTHING like that' instances that you've come across in writing/media portraying pregnancy?

Hi Anon!

Sorry for the delay, its been a rough couple weeks but yes I am indeed knocked up and trying to make the most of it, but i'll be honest- its not been easy and my answer to your ask will probably reflect that sentiment so I apologize in advance lol

Probably my BIGGEST gripe with how mainstream media portrays pregnancy is how its some glamourous, beautiful, breezy experience where it makes you feel like a goddess and ppl celebrate and shower you with adoration blah blah.

Now, this is a f*ucking lie. Yes yes, miracle of life and all that, but let's not forget- this shit used to kill a bitch with a significant mortality rate back in the day; nowadays its gotten better but still everyone around you is getting blasted and having fun and you're not able to partake and overall physically miserable.

Simply put, media be like:

Whereas the reality is more like:

Now i dont mean to dog/marginalize on the joy of pregnancy/expectant motherhood from anyone who does, this is simply my own experience and opinion- everyone is different!!!

And to expand on that opinion, the conspiracy theorist in me (note: I am very chemically and hormonally unbalanced at the moment) is convinced the media portrayal has a lot to do with patriarchal expectations of what the ideal woman should represent and strive to be (aka pretty baby factories), but thankfully there are some series out there that work to depict pregnancy/motherhood in a more relatable grounded way- some show recs of the top of my head:

Working Moms - hilarious comedy centering on career-focused moms, highly relatable and cast of eclectic well-written female AND male characters.

The Handmaid's Tale - basically a documentary of the fall of the United States (i wish i was joking, its scarily accurate in light of recent events). Decidedly the opposite of funny, prepare to be emotionally drained but it is an INCREDIBLE show. I also particularly like that men as a whole arent framed as the enemy, in fact some of the female protag’s greatest allies are men who put themselves at great risk to aid women.

Anyway im not sure if this was at all helpful writing-wise lol, i could go into more detail if you like just let me know but fair warning i will not hold back and it probably will be gross but ill try to be clinical about it (its not pretty folks, trust me!!)

[carpsurprise]

Could I request the bachelorettes finding out that the farmer is magic?

yesyes thank u for sending something in!! im queueing this so i dont have like 3 writings posted in one night so i dont clog ppls stuff so!! lets see when this goes up!! 

abigail:

-starry eyed!! she is all O.O and :O !!! her and her dreams of swordsmanship… the solarian chronicles.. i also headcanon her to be all warrior cats/harry potter/etc this is MAGICAL and a dream come true

-get ready cus u have an apprentice. she’s canonically dabbled in spirits and stuff but i do think she’d be interested in wiccan stuff as well!! under her house tho… i doubt there’s much room for her to practice stuff like that!

-so this is a dream come true for her! she has no fear and is all ears… after she talks the farmer’s ear off about it. and honestly how could the farmer have kept it from her for so long?? she’s got her own theories about the wizard and his tower… what other otherworldly stuff is skirting by under her nose??

emily:

-like abigail, delighted!! not at the same level, but!! girl loves crystals and meditation, she’s thrilled! not one to disbelieve in that kind of stuff!

-she’s interested in it generally, but isn't extreme like abigail or more aloof to it like haley!! it’ll definitely fuel some late night conversation topics and make her kinda rethink a lot!! maybe the energies she’s been feeling this whole time HAVE been something unlike what haley’s been telling her!!

-she’ll def poke some fun here and there and ask the farmer to use some magic to help her get out of work!! but overall.. v supportive and interested, but will absolutely not badger the farmer about it. she’s always had a little feeling something was going on anyway...

haley:

-i don’t think she even knows how to respond at first. let her blink a couple times, let her put her head in her hands, the whole ten miles. this was not the conclusion she thought she was ever going to get to once she passed the age of twelve

-but nonetheless it is compelling… despite the uncertainty she has with it at first. she is definitely the one eyebrow raised emoji for a little bit. “what is this and is it going to kill us” type beat. 

-but she just needs to warm up to it!! def she wouldn’t be like abigail where it becomes something she’s infatuated with but hey if it makes daily life easier!! why not? 

leah:

-at first she’s laughing thinking its a joke!! but with some demonstration… oh! not a joke. she’s kinda like ok!! and understanding of it… but its not a 100% surprise to her. 

-it definitely explains the little things she sees out of the corner of her eyes in the forest. she’s had her own little encounters that she couldn’t possibly understand or explain with what she knows but this is definitely!! comforting to know

-it won’t be a huge impact on her life, but it’s still fun to see the farmer do their thing!! she never gets over how cool it is, but is definitely more mature about it lmao!! just a little addition to the valley she loves so much!! she starts chalking stuff up to fate and magic instead of personal choice

maru:

-her first thought is ??? she’s v logical and super rooted in science so something like magic is a little off to her at first but (a) why would the farmer lie to her (she’s so trusting mwah!!) and (b) all it takes is a little demonstration and !!

-she’s in AWE!! how?? why?? where/when/what/etc!! does it hurt, where did it come from… it’s like the farmer is on trial, questioned by the police, a scientific convention panel. how does this work exactly!! maru had never considered it being a possibility, so she needs allllll of the details!

-but truly?? psyched. i think she’s a big fantasy nerd on top of sci-fi sort of stuff, so!! she’s pumped to see how it works and what the farmer can do with it (and ofc how it could possibly help her get some work done in different ways!! leave it to her to problem solve!!)

penny:

-expect some… fear… skittish-ness… that all to do with it. like maru, not something she really thought about happening and being faced with. it makes her a little nervous until she understands more about it… kinda going along the haley route of “is this going to hurt me/you/us/anyone”

-but once she warms up to it… mmm fairytale stuff!! ofc as a kid she believed in that kind of stuff but like others.. squashed when growing up. but now?? omg its like being cinderella or smth!! when she had to face reality she found herself liking fantasy books w magic in them and now!! it’s not something that’s escapism!!

-i don’t think she’d like to be faced with it very often since it still may be a little overwhelming but!! it’s still soooo dreamlike for her. i think little surprises with it would make her heart warm!! whatever the farmer’s magic may be!! it’ll likely charm her w/ soft little displays

[quackinquack]

Yeah, it’s also unfortunately a matter of Quackity being desensitized to practically any of the shit that’s thrown at him, since he’s been perceived as a “public figure” for so long—and one that used to have a much edgier fanbase at that. He’s talked about it before on older streams, where he basically said that even though people sexualizing him weirded him out or people sending hate/death threats bothered him at times, it’s out of control because it’s the Internet… so he just didn’t see a point in getting worked up about it. Which… I’m glad that he doesn’t let it get to him, but it still sucks that some people just don’t have basic respect for other living, breathing human beings. Like you said, the way that the internet treats minors now compared to how Quackity was treated when he was a minor is worlds apart, despite it only technically being a few years difference.

It is good to see the microaggressions being called out more though, and that personal boundaries are taken more seriously. It’s really clear to see the difference in how even his close friends used to make jokes about his house, how he spoke, cartels, etc. in comparison to now. Like when he gave George a room tour, George was quite decent about it! But you could sorta tell Quackity expected him to make fun of the stone walls and floors. I don’t know, it’s nice to see that this community is at least less insensitive toward minorities than the ones he’s been involved with in the past (with exceptions of course, and not mentioning the whole “weaponizing minority issues just to cancel some cc you don’t like and hurting said minorities in the process” thing…).

So painfully true. I'm a lil desensitized to racial shit too, but not nearly to the point he is, having been a popular Mexican creator for like half his life. Plus with his previously edgy fanbase (which I remember he complained about later pfff L for them)

Yeah you hit the nail on the head. I get that to be in the public eye, especially as part of any minority group, you do subject yourself to a lot of awful shit and you need to have thick skin. But it still sucks that that's how it is - especially since he was a kid for most of it. And ngl I still sometimes lose my mind thinking about how different the treatment of Quackity as a minor was and the current minors 💀💀 its kind of insane lol

So true! Like I'm not gonna claim all his past friends were horrible bad ppl lol because I think some of them grew much like Quackity did and wouldn't participate in some of the behaviors they used to, but the difference in treatment towards Quackity is pretty noticeable imo. Jokes like you mentioned and more were pretty commonplace and honestly they do remind me of some of the pretty insensitive jokes my past white friends would make about me, that I didn't realize weren't okay and made me ashamed until they stopped happening.

Even between the time he joined the smp and now I think a lot of these white ccs are being more careful about what they say (hopefully out of genuine learning and not just a fear of being attacked 😅😅). And I'm reaching into speculating territory now but when those kinds of jokes towards me stopped, I started getting much more comfortable talking about my own culture, issues related to my race, etc, so I'm hoping him suddenly starting to do Spanish streams and interacting with other Spanish-speaking ccs (Rubius!!) is a sign of greater comfort in him as well!

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author’s note: well. everybody. are we surprised??????? i dont write a thing for like months but then i get inspiration and here i am✨✨ also im not gonna lie... this fic is a lil bit ooc. v much for gray. its believable but like BARELY. so BASICALLY if u dont read fairy tail 100 years quest, this might not make a whole lotta sense to u, but i think youll be able to follow! SO! this fic is based off of the gruvia interactions in the latest fairy tail 100 years quest chapter! chapter 63!!! enjoy my beautiful ppl!:)❤️❤️❤️

*

Without missing a beat, Juvia launched herself at her darling Gray. “Ahh...” She lulled with great relief. “It’s so good to see you safe, Gray-sama.”

Her arms naturally wrapped around his neck as she sweetly nuzzled her face right into his. The two of them were certainly beat up from their battle with Metro, and they had the bandages wrapped around themselves from head-to-toe to proove it. Yet, naturally, Juvia didn’t mind. Her body was achey, sure, but all she could feel was warmth from her overwhelming love for Gray.

She felt Gray’s muscles soften. He brought his hand up to the top of her head, bringing her into the crook of his neck, and he followed her lead by resting his cheek atop her head. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of Juvia safe and acting like her normal self. After finally getting a moment to breathe, this was the first time in a long time he was really seeing Juvia where they weren’t fighting or she wasn’t partially brainwashed by Touka. It was nice to see her back to being unequivocally Juvia.

“You too.” Was all he replied, but that was all he needed to say.

Gray could hear the gasps going around the guild at the sight of he and Juvia, but he paid it no mind.

“Ok tiger, think you could maybe put some pants on?” Cana’s call to Gray was what finally snapped him out of it.

“Gah! My pants!” He exclaimed, flustered, breaking from his embrace with Juvia.

“They’re right here, darling!” Juvia quickly gathered his clothes. Naturally, she was always keeping track.

“Thanks.” He snatched them. He snapped his attention to his number one rival, and pointed at him. “Natsu, as soon as I get these back on, I’m kicking your ass!” He shouted.

“Eh?!” He responded. “Why me?!”

“Because you got to have all the fun taking down a dragon! Now I want a piece of you!” He taunted. He couldn’t deny that the combination of a couple beers, and the adrenaline rush from another Fairy Tail victory, was amping Gray up, to say the least.

“Bring it on!” Natsu grinned, and began cracking his knuckles.

Before they knew it, a bunch of the guys were rolling around like wild animals. You would’ve never thought they just faced one of the biggest battles of their lives, but, well, that was Fairy Tail.

“Get em’, Gray-sama!” Juvia cheered on, energetically, just as he swung a punch at Gajeel.

Juvia went back to the bar to get some more drinks, and Gray was shortly behind her. “Aw man.” He flopped onto the seat beside Juvia, out of breath. “Those guys don’t mess around in a fight. Even when we’re already beaten to a pulp.” Gray snickered. He did love a good fight, but he couldn’t deny his body was tired.

Juvia hummed a giggle. “The same can be said for you. Juvia saw you throwing some solid punches.” She handed him a beer.

“Did you expect anything less?” Gray playfully smirked at Juvia, causing her to blush just a tad.

“Of course not.” She grinned.

“Lucy!” Gray shouted, and as he did so, he casually brought his arm around Juvia, placing a hand on her shoulder as they both sat. Juvia was really blushing now. She sat still and silent, afraid of ruining the moment.

Gray continued once Lucy turned to him. “Why don’t you give Natsu some of that booze? Maybe that would take him off his game and I could kick his sorry ass in one shot!” He joked.

The hand still weighed heavy on Juvia’s shoulder. Did Gray place it there by accident? Did he know what he was doing? Maybe he just needed her so he could keep his balance? Or maybe he was cold and wanted Juvia to keep him warm?

Natsu perked up “Give me all the booze in the world! I’ll still kick your ass!” Just as he said that, Elfman came up from behind him, and slammed his body to the ground. Gray and Juvia both laughed.

“Leave it to Natsu to pick a fight with just about anyone.” He snorted, but Juvia couldn’t pay much attention to what Gray was saying at the moment.

He casually brought his hand down for just a moment, and just as Juvia’s mind rolled with questions as to what he could possibly be doing now, she was given an answer. He softly took a lock of her hair in his hand, and ever so lightly stroked it. Juvia was frozen in happiness. She didn’t dare turn her head, but she did see Gray out of the corner of her eye, and he simply took a gulp of his beer, without seeming to mind at all that he was doing something completely and utterly unlike him—public affection. However, he was unbothered. He continued rhythmically running his fingers through her hair as if this was the most normal thing in the world to him.

“Maybe I’m bias, but beer is better when Mira’s serving it at the guild.” He said to Juvia as he looked curiously at his beer. While saying this, he even began to twirl a piece of hair between his fingers. The way her heart fluttered with each flip of his fingers was something she’d never felt, but wow— what a feeling. Unfortunately, Juvia could not hold back this reaction as shivers were sent all over her body rather noticeabley.

“You ok?” Gray stopped the hair stroking, and brought his palm to the middle of her back, still seemingly putting forth an effort to touch her, and he looked over at her.

“Y-yes!” Juvia jolted. “Juvia is fine!”

“You sure?” He raised a brow. “You seem a little tense.”

“No! Honestly! Juvia is completely fine, just a bit caught off guard is all!” She was starting to break a sweat. Leave it to her to screw up a moment.

“How so?” He finally pulled the hand away, to Juvia’s dismay.

“W-well...” She fiddled with her thumbs. “It-it’s just that... Gray-sama... was playing with Juvia’s hair, a-and you had your arm around me—and— Juvia was just surprised, that’s all!”

“Oh.” Gray was the one who was a bit stunned this time. His cheeks turned bright red, and he couldn’t help but look away.

Honestly, he really wasn’t even aware that he was doing that until Juvia pointed it out. He was taken aback by himself, admittedly. It wasn’t like him to be a hands-on type of guy. However, what he did know, was now that he knew he wasn’t touching her, he felt a desire to touch her more than ever. It was like once he knew she wasn’t in his grasp, a piece of himself felt lost. He wanted his arm around her. He wanted to feel her soft blue waves run through his fingers. He wanted to feel her warm embrace in his arms. So, even though he didn’t make a conscious effort to be physical, it was what he wanted. He wanted to feel her, and thus feel comfort. Feel serenity. Feel happiness.

“But, it’s ok!” Juvia leaned towards him. “Juvia didn’t mind at all! Not one bit! Oh, Juvia is so sorry! She’s insulted Gray-sama! As an apology, you may touch Juvia wherever you want!” She stood up and proudly spread her arms and puffed her chest, displaying herself for Gray.

Gray’s whole face burned fiercely. “Ah, jeez, would you sit down!” He snapped, and he took Juvia by her shoulders, putting her back in her seat.

“Juvia is sorry!” She exclaimed. “It’s just that, it’s not like Gray-sama to show any sort of affection in public! Juvia doesn’t know how to act!”

“Yeah, I guess.” Gray nervously scratched the back of his head. “I dunno’, it’s just that, well, after so many of these fights and always putting our lives on the line, it’s just hard to believe we’ve made it this far. On top of that, seeing all my comrades safe and...” He paused. “Seeing you safe after all of this... it just makes me feel so relieved. And, well, basically, I’ve come to realize that life is short.” He looked down. “Really short. And, I don’t wanna waste time worrying about stupid stuff. I just wanna’ do what’ll make me happy.”

He finally locked eyes with Juvia. “And you make me happy.”

Tears rushed to her stunned eyes. “Oh, Gray-sama!” She threw herself onto him all over again. He reciprocated almost instantly, placing a hand on her back. She looked back up at him, eyes glazed with tears. “You make Juvia happy too.” She smiled gently.

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Gray smirked, and then he brought Juvia back into his hold. They were both where they belonged- safe, and in each other’s arms.

As Juvia rested against his chest, she felt a comforting sensation that was already so familiar to her: Gray combing his fingers ever so gently through her long hair.