#its a long bus ride but still. if i go from the city its one bus......

[obitv]

cant stop thinking about it now. maimai. just a bus ride away....

[k9wa]

𑣲 PALPITATE. ft hakkai shiba.

⠀ —when hakkai busting his bike leaves him stranded and vulnerable, both at the hands of public transportation and a girl who can't take a hint.

⠀ or

⠀ — two virgins who lack any social skills are forced to share the same bus route.

⚠︎ fem!reader, no referring pronouns used, hakkai and you are so terribly fucking awkward, lot's of sillies.

MONDAY MAY 2ND, 2006.

what was it about public transportation that was so god damn confusing? i mean, sure, the concept is simple, find the bus you wanna get on and you know, get on it. 

until you take into consideration all the factors in between which, for everyone's sake, i won't bore you with. save for two.

not only had you deemed public transportation your sworn nemesis, but now you were battling it in a city you’d never stepped foot in.

actually, there was someone in a similar situation to you, also (temporarily) struck by the punishment hammer that was being forced to bus everywhere while his motorcycle was in the shop. the day you met hakkai shiba was the first day you had to take the bus to your new part-time job across town. you approached him while he leaned lazily against a sign, displaying a small cartoon bus with a number inside it.

“um— excuse me?” hakkai felt his bones go stiff at the feminine voice that called to him. 

“sorry to bother you, i was just wondering, uh, is this the bus that go….” 

he didn’t get to hear where you were trying to go as his brain did its absolute best to tune you out. meanwhile, you waited patiently for a response.

…a response that the tall boy in front of you was really taking his time preparing. all while he kept perfectly still and facing forward.

“…um—excuse me…?” 

had he not heard you? 

“…hello?” 

was he just ignoring you? sure you understood not wanting to talk to someone, but a simple nod of his head would suffice, no?

“sorry— i just really need to know if this is the right stop to get on.”

hakkai didn’t move.

“um, i start at a new job in less than an hour? i can't really afford to get lost right now.” you chuckled uncomfortably, hoping to ease the tension.

nothing. it was as if you weren’t even there.

“…anything?”

nope.

“blink once for yes??”

your hands drop to your sides, all you received was more nothing. his eyes didn’t even twitch.

“i’m—i’m just gonna try the stop down the road.”

hakkai couldn’t bring himself to watch from his peripherals as you walked away from one of the most awkward situations of your teenage life.

away, and to the wrong bus stop.

TUESDAY MAY 3RD, 2006.

the next time hakkai saw you was actually the very next day, after your first encounter with him. around the same time, as well.

turns out, you and he would be sharing a bus route until the youngest shiba’s bike was fixed and ready for riding again.

lucky you! 

you nearly threw yourself into the traffic beside you when the same guy from yesterday was back at the stop. the stop you learned the hard way was actually the right one. 

you trudged up beside him, leaving an awkward distance between you while he was sitting on the bench, and you opted for standing to the side of it.

“…sooo, turns out this was actually my stop, haha.”

you desperately tried to talk to him again, hoping to prove to yourself that he wasn’t really ignoring you as bad as you’d hoped the day before.

he didn’t answer.

“i um— got on the wrong bus yesterday. ended up all the way in roppongi? i think that’s what it was called, anyway.”

answer. say literally anything oh my god i’m begging you.

“pretty cool area, i'd never been before. silver lining, right?”

you turn to look at him, he’s pale as a ghost.

“youuu uh, ever been? to roppongi?”

….no response ever came. you clear your throat.

“awesome, cool, cool.”

this was gonna be a long week.

WEDNESDAY MAY 4TH, 2006.

back at the bus stop you stood, almost shoulder to shoulder with the same boy who you tried almost everything to pry a word out of the last two days.

tuesday night it dawned on you, what if he just…couldn’t hear you? maybe he had some kind of hearing impairment! it would be pretty shitty to assume he was just blatantly ignoring you if that was the case, so, wednesday afternoon you tried again.

“um, hey.”

you looked beside you to the stone face that was becoming unfortunately familiar. he didn’t answer.

so, like any sane person would do, you poked his arm.

hakkai audibly gulped, but continued to keep his eyes on the scenery in front of him.

“…hello? anyone home?” 

you poked him again. hakkai started to sweat rather profusely. it was a good thing he couldn’t see the way your brow furrowed at the physical cues that he indeed did know you were there.

“okay, what gives? are you just like– really not talkative or something?”

you’re a fool for waiting patiently for some kind of acknowledgement. hakkai was frozen in place.

“...seriously? nothing? not even telling me to shut up or– or leave you alone or something??”

you stomped your way in front of him, and finally reached a hand up to wave it in front of his face. 

“just one word! one word and i'll never speak to you again. swear it.”

hakkai, to everyone’s surprise, didn’t move, his eyes dead set straight. the waving and begging went on until your bus came to a screeching stop behind you.

maybe tomorrow.

THURSDAY MAY 5TH, 2006.

hakkai truly was beginning to mourn having an unlimited form of private transportation. not only did he hate the crowded seats of the bus, or quickly grow tired of the schedules ruining his chance to stay with his friends or gang members late that week, but hakkai had also convinced himself you were one more day away from just deciding to punch him square in the gut.

you absolutely were, by the way.

it’s not that he didn’t feel bad, but c'mon! anyone who knew him knew that yuzuha was the only girl he could talk to, it wasn’t anything against you personally.

it also didn't help that, you too, were completely socially inept. i mean, who keeps trying to make conversation with someone after finding out they’ve been actively ignoring them? anyone else would have just, y'know, moved along. 

you being pretty, like, really pretty wasn’t helping his case much either, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about that for longer than a millisecond before he turned red.

thursday, you didn’t show up for the bus. hakkai waited, watching the side of the sidewalk you would normally arrive from, but you never showed. 

which, in theory, should have been elating for him. it was a day where he could take a much needed breather, where he could comfortably arrive home without clammy hands or sweat beading down his neck.

it was…a little disappointing. not that hakkai necessarily enjoyed making a fool of himself (or shutting off all his senses to avoid that from happening,) but he couldn’t deny that your antics were… funny? to him? you were kind of an idiot, but in an endearing kind of way.

hakkai hoped to see you at the stop tomorrow.

FRIDAY MAY 6TH, 2006.

friday marked the end of the week, alongside the end of hakkai’s journey as someone who regularly relied on the public transport system. tomorrow morning, he would pick up his bike, and bring her back home where she belonged. balance would be restored.

you, however, were dreading leaving your home.

the day prior, you had the luxury of getting a ride to work from a friend, putting an ease to your mind and it’s swarm of thoughts regarding the very tall, very well sculpted, very pretty, very well kept–

the guy at the bus stop who wouldn’t pay any mind to your existence even if it meant his damn life was on the line.

he was an idiot, you were sure of it. not only was he stupid, he was rude! you ended up nearly stranded in another district because he couldn’t even spare you a nod of his head!

who cared that he was pretty? who cared that he had some of the best bone structure you’d ever seen in person, or that he was already standing at 183 cm at an age you assumed couldn’t be far from your own? he sucked!

…okay you cared. you had a thing for him. it was utterly humiliating. all you had done was run around poking (literally) and prodding at him for the last week, all because you didn’t know how to properly say “hey, i wanna talk to you!” or “hey, why are you ignoring me?”

that, and the curiosity of what could be causing him to pay such little attention to you was genuinely driving you up the wall. you digress. today, you would make it right.

you finally arrived, i shouldn't have to mention where by now, and were relieved to see the familiar blue buzz-cut. relieved alongside cursing god for making it so you actually had to speak to him again. you slowly took your spot to his left.

“...hey, um–”

you played with the strap of your bag.

“sorry if i’ve been on your nerves or anything this week, realised i was bein’ kinda overbearing.” you chuckled and looked up at him, not surprised at the lack of feedback.

“i just moved here? and everything has been going pretty south for me, but i didn't mean to take it out on you or anything.”

hakkai’s jaw was clenched, but staying true to himself, he didn’t answer.

“anyway, sorry again. hope the rest of your day goes alright.”

hakkai clenched his fists together, sucked in the deepest breath he thought he'd ever taken, and before the bus rounded the street corner, he spoke.

“..sh..ba…h..kai…” it was shaky, and it was spoken through his tightly clenched teeth, but he managed.

“...p–pardon?” you did your best to keep your eyes from widening and having your shock spread across your face, but it was a feeble attempt. hakkai turned his head in the opposite direction, away from you.

“..shiba…hakkai..” he mumbled again, but the second time was thankfully more clear. 

it quickly became your turn to stare straight ahead of you, unable to form some kind of answer in your head. you had been so damn talkative before, too.

the bus came to a rusty stop in front of the two of you. only then, were you able to mutter your name in response to him. one painful week later, you finally had an introduction.

maybe hakkai would keep taking the bus home even after picking up his bike. only sometimes, though. baby steps.

⠀ 𑣲 MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?

[centrally-unplanned]

Gonna go on a classic rant here, as the "Uber Shuttle....do you mean a BUS LOL" complaint is making the rounds:

This objection - "why are you just re-inventing buses" has always been very silly because buses are not exclusive services, they aren't like a train where building two "competitive" tracks is a huge waste of money. They can just go on the road like a car! That is the whole point of roads. And US public buses...pretty universally suck (on average, varies per city ofc). We have poor stop infrastructure, incredibly late arrival times, unoptimized routing, and in particular a stubborn refusal to enforce safety and decorum standards, which means riding the bus is very often just a not fun ordeal. I still do it, it is of course normally fine, but if I was richer and could easily pay 3x the going rate for a good bus I would do that a lot. Certainly for trips to the airport or farther distances.

Buses don't have any generalized reason to be shielded from competition, you can just run multiple buses. Its generally better to run more, that means less cars! There are some kinks about traffic flow and stop points, but on average private buses are great. They don't often exist in the US (a good number do ofc, the US is vast) because they have been made either dejure or defacto illegal in many places- though as expected shadow networks exist, which exactly plug the demand gaps that public transit is failing to fill. Private buses are good.

Uber is likely going to be playing the same regulatory arbitrage that its always been with taxis, trying to use tech to help classify itself outside the regulatory system that currently bans private buses - though idk maybe they have worked out deals with the cities its doing its pilot in, not relevant to my point. You wanna complain about how they treat drivers or regulations or w/e, totally fine (or at least a separate topic). But a kneejerk "buses are public" is an ignorance-showing moment, they both aren't in many places and shouldn't be in more.

(pour this one out for @voxette-vk, long lost tumblrite who I know would stan the fuck out of private buses back in the day)

[levisolace]

[1] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 1: Windex and Baking Soda

WC: 7,182 Chapter Warnings: slight angst Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. story masterlist > next chapter

“It’s always my pleasure, Mr. Brown.”

The corporate smile on your face drops as soon as you hit the end button in the video call application on your laptop. It was the first meeting of the day with a client and you were already exhausted, wanting nothing but to go home and curl up in bed, heavily surrounded by your pillows and weighted blanket for hours. But you know that’s a dream that would remain a fantasy for a while. Why? Because it’s a Monday. It’s only the start of the week and judging from the pile of paperwork delivered to your desk this morning, you would have to work overtime again for the third week in a row. 

Being recently hired by one of the top leading firms in the country is a blessing you will be thankful for every day but as the week goes by and you’re on your fifth pile of paperwork, more than ten meetings in one week, you can’t help but think what would it be like to work for a small, quiet firm. You shrug those thoughts away as soon as they come. You’re grateful for the more-than-average salary the firm provides, at least.

The day went on as it always does: hours of you trying to ignore your back pain. It was becoming unbearable and you can’t even use the ointments your grandmother used to insist you use because it would no doubt infest the building with its smell—your reputation and first impression from your coworkers is at stake. 

As you’re typing back an email from your superior, Atty. Dot Pixis, you halt when you feel the buzzing on your table. You pick it up mindlessly, checking to see the notification. A smile spreads on your face to see that it’s your previous boss, Vanessa. 

hey. how’s working with the big leagues?? pixis is not tiring you out too much is he?? i can give him a word if you want.

pixis is treating me really well, nes. thank u for checking up on me! i miss everyone there at the firm and little ian :(( 

Vanessa, besides being your former boss back in Olsen & Associates, is also your friend and self-proclaimed older sister. She's a well-known attorney, and Olsen is a legend back in law school because she’s an alumnus who’s actually cool and doesn’t have their head up their asses. However, after deciding to settle down and start a family, she opened up a small firm in her hometown. 

i might just have to visit bc i miss my little sis :(( should’ve never let u leave

technically, it’s your fault i left 

i know :( don't remind me

Two months ago, Vanessa told you that ODM is hiring and Pixis contacted her to see if she knows anyone to take the job. Your jaw dropped to the ground when she told you she recommended you and you can send in your resume if you’re interested. It was an offer no one could pass up so before you knew it, you were being hauled into a hours-long bus ride and then anxiously seated for an interview in the city you used to live in. And after about a week of being a nervous wreck waiting for their response, you were contacted that you’ve been selected for the position.

Now here you are, finally settled in your office. You still can’t believe you have your own space in this huge building. You would’ve never thought you’d be working here in the firm you only used to stare at in awe while passing by years ago. 

Although, you have to admit that you miss the warm feeling of the small firm where you all know each other, exchange heartfelt greetings, and gossip when there are not too many clients. Now, you pass by a new face every now and then, most not even bothering to greet you or spare you a look. You can’t blame them. The work here is drastic. 

By the time you left the office, it’s already dark and way past office hours. As you were driving home, you remembered you still needed a few supplies in your apartment. You haven’t exactly settled yourself in, prioritizing work more. God, you even still had a few boxes to unpack. 

You stopped by a 24-hour supermarket that you spotted on your way to work this morning when you had to reroute because of the traffic. It was a little out of the way but it would do. It was still two hours before midnight, anyway.

As you drag your feet through the aisles and drop whatever you felt like you needed in the cart, unwanted memories come creeping in. The air in Paradis City is still the same. Even if a few buildings might have changed or some stores you used to frequent have closed down, it was still the same Paradis you knew—a buzzing city filled with dreams. The streets are never empty, famously congested by students from top universities or office workers. 

When you got the offer for the job, you weighed out the pros and cons. There were only two cons you were able to determine:

You don’t want to leave Olsen & Associates and Vanessa’s hometown, Trost, and

You’d be going back to your hometown, the one you promised not to go back to. 

The pros outweigh the cons, obviously. That weight being the thick fat salary you would be getting. Besides, Paradis is huge and has like three million residents. It’s not like you’d cross paths with him. And it’s been years. He probably forgot all about you anyway. You barely think about him. It was just a silly puppy-love relationship. No biggie.

Keep telling yourself that.

Shut up. 

“That one’s better.”

A voice directed to you made you snap out of your thoughts. It made you painfully aware of how you had been staring at the two options of green tea in your hand for probably more than the normal minutes it takes one to decide. The tall brunette had on a face mask covering half his face, his hair parted in the middle, and he wore a simple light blue button-down and black slacks. He was about two feet away from you when he pointed at the tea canister in your right hand. 

“Oh. Thanks,” you replied sheepishly. Desperate to run away from the embarrassment of zoning out in the middle of a public space, you take his advice and put down the canister on your left hand back to the shelf. 

“You’re welcome. I see my friend drinking it all the time so it has to be good,” he nods and you see his cheeks prop up, probably sporting a smile beneath the mask. You smiled back and thanked him again.

“Can you grab that one for me?” He points at a sweet one, a flavor in contrast with the green tea you chose. It was on the shelf being blocked by your cart beside you. You quickly mutter an apology and reach for a can. 

“My fiancée prefers her tea fruity,” he explains even if you didn’t ask, his ears tinted a bit red from his own statement. You immediately find it endearing. He seems very fond of his partner as he continues to babble about her. “Well actually, she prefers coffee with an unhealthy amount of espresso shots but I eventually persuaded her to drink tea once in a while.” 

“Moby! I know we usually don’t get this brand but guess what? This has a free pink sponge!” 

You freeze at the sound of that awfully loud and familiar cheerful voice heading towards you at a fast pace. You couldn’t turn your head. Your fingers unconsciously grip the can you’re holding harshly with wide eyes. Silently, you were wishing that the person just had the same voice as the crazed tall woman with glasses you used to know or the man beside you isn’t named ‘Moby.’ The former would hardly be the case because from the sound of the voice, the personality of being uncaring of the silent atmosphere of the supermarket, and the way she ran excitedly from your peripheral vision, you were sure that this person was your old friend Hange. For the latter, your last hope dies down as you see the stranger turn his head at the sound of his name and reply with a sigh.

“What the hell are you gonna do with a sponge, babe? We have lots of sponges.”

“Okay but imagine! We swap out Levi’s sponge with a pink one.” 

“I don’t think Levi cares about the color as long as it cleans.”

The fight or flight response in you went crazy at the mention of the name you haven’t heard in years, heavily leaning on the former. You could just hand this guy named Moby’s tea and make a run for it. You doubt Hange would care while being heavily invested in her free pink sponge. 

But why would you run? You only run when you’re scared or did something wrong. Which is it? It can't be the latter, right? 

I did. 

Oh? So you did. You’re scared, huh? That she’d get angry at you for what you did back then. 

I am. 

Run then. That’s all you know to do anyway.

Shut up. Leave me alone. 

“Miss? Are you okay?” 

For the second time in front of the same stranger, you were snapped out of your trance and find yourself gripping the can so hard that you think you’ve made a light dent on the can. Damn, you should really get a decent amount of sleep. You’ve been losing it a lot lately. 

You shake your head and slap your cheek lightly with your free hand. “Sorry. Lack of sleep. I’m fine. Here.” 

You turn to him and hand him the can, hoping he wouldn’t mind the barely noticeable dent you made. Purposely, you don’t stray your eyes away from the man. You don’t want to be the first person to acknowledge Hange. Maybe she doesn’t even remember you. Maybe she doesn’t even want to acknowledge you. 

“Greenie?” 

It was more of a mutter. But with how loud Hanji’s voice is, you and Moby clearly heard it. 

That’s when you look at her and actually see her. She looks the same as you saw her last. Her brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and her brown eyes were covered by thick-rimmed glasses. Nothing much has changed from her appearance except for the disappearance of the youthful look now replaced by maturity. Her gaze is fixed on you, slack-jawed. Her reaction doesn’t surprise or faze you, having expected that much. It’s what would follow that you’re nervous about. What would she say? Will she get angry at you? Or will she even remember who you are? Somehow, you dread that last possible outcome worst. 

“H-Hange,” you breathily let out. You wonder if it’s audible. 

Her fiancé also looks shocked, staring at you and then back to Hanji with widened eyes. “This is Greenie? The Greenie?” He points at you while asking Hange who was still frozen. His tone and reference to you immediately tell you that you have been discussed with people you never met, no doubt now knowing your past with them. 

Greenie. You haven’t heard that nickname in a while. 

It was silent for a few seconds, eyes not straying from each other. You probably look apologetic—scared, even. The man beside her is waiting too. You think he’s having a mini breakdown in disbelief. 

When you see her start to lunge at you, you shut your eyes, expecting her palm to collide with your cheek. You expect her to slap you and scream at you in the middle of the cold supermarket. You expect her to ask you where you got the nerve to come back to the city after all you’ve done. 

Instead, what she did broke down all your expectations. 

Long and slender arms wrap around your figure, pulling you tightly to her chest. Your face is squished against the fabric of her fluffy parka jacket. Even if you suddenly have trouble breathing with how tight her hug is, you were thankful that it covered your face and how you were biting your lower lip, trying to suppress the relief that comes with tears.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

You couldn’t even answer. Or move at all. Not that you even know what to say. 

“Hange. You’re killing her.” You hear her partner say. Hange instantly loosens her grip on you, muttering an apology with a slight chuckle. When she looks down at you, you give her a gentle smile.

“I missed you too, Hange.” And you meant it. 

The tall woman was still not letting you go, arms wrapped just below your shoulders because of the height difference. Even if you were caged in her arms, you can still tilt your head up to look at her. Suddenly, tears started streaming down her face as she tilts her head down to you, her mouth quivering. Then it turns into full-on sobbing. You chuckle as she starts swaying you with her, going side to side like a pendulum as she sobs while wailing your name repeatedly. 

There was no stopping Hange when she gets like this. So you let it happen. You let her hug you like she did many times before. You relish the moment, wanting to pass out and let loose in her hold. Maybe you’re dreaming and you’ll wake up in your bed, filled with disappointment and yearning for some warmth.

When she was satisfied, she let you go and introduced you to Moblit, her fiancé and coworker. They walked with you as you continued to shop, telling you stories about her and Moblit. Thankfully for your sake, she didn’t ask you much about yourself or what happened when you were away. She just asked how you were doing right now and what you were doing in the city. Although you were scared that the news would get to him, you told her the truth that you recently got hired at the law firm. 

“So you moved back then? Like permanently?” Her brows raised in excitement. 

“Well, I have a temporary contract for six months before I’m permanently employed there so hopefully,” you shrug while heading to checkout. As expected, Hange doesn’t care that you practically explained that it’s technically a ‘not yet,’ she shrieks and jumps up and down anyway. 

“Oh my god, this is perfect! Greenie, one of my bridesmaids had to back out but we already had the dress paid and it’s a no-refund. Can you step in for her and attend our wedding? Would you? Please? Please?” Hange begs you, hands clasped together as she stares at you with puppy eyes and a pout. 

You stop in your tracks and feel your heart sink to the ground. She wants you to attend her wedding knowing that many, if not everyone, you used to know will be there. And if his name was so casually mentioned earlier, that meant that they were still very much best friends and he would definitely be there.

And a few minutes ago you were convincing yourself that you wouldn’t accidentally run into him in this city. Now, you have to actually see him and be in the same room for a few hours? 

You start with a chuckle. “Oh. I wouldn’t mean to impose—” 

You were abruptly overpowered by her loud negation. “No, you wouldn’t! Everyone would be ecstatic to see you! I swear.” 

“But—“

Hange sighs dramatically, shoulders slumping with a pout on her face. “I guess it’d be too much, wouldn’t it? You’re probably busy, right? Right. Sorry, I just got excited.” She turns to her boyfriend. “Moby, can you pay for our stuff and Greenie’s too?” 

“What?”

Your eyes widened but before you could protest or take a strong hold on your cart, Moblit was already dragging it away and sending a flying kiss to Hange who giggled like a schoolgirl to catch it with her fist. You turn to her in disbelief as he turns his back. She catches your face, knowing what you’re about to say. 

“It’s fine. That won’t make a dent in his bank account.”

Just like that, you were painfully reminded how no one could get a word in with Hange. 

“Un-fucking-believeable.” 

Niccolo, the training chef, flinched from behind him when the silver-eyed man let out an unprovoked profanity as he entered the restaurant. Connie, his loyal secretary, doesn’t even bat an eye at the unprofessional behavior of his boss, only following behind him with a straight face. 

“Shithead. Call Nile later. Tell him I want a new team on this…” his words halt in disgust as he sees the unfinished, poorly done walls of what was to be a new branch of Kuchel’s. “or I’ll fire his stupid construction company out of every damn project. Verbatim.” 

“Will do, sir.” Connie nods, mentally sighing. Not only is he used to hearing the profanities, but he’s also used to being ordered to say it too. 

Levi nods at his secretary’s response, eager to leave the abomination that was supposed to be at 80% progress at this date. As he turns, he’s faced with Connie and a blonde man he doesn’t know. 

“Who’s this?” 

The blonde man practically shivered at his haze, the corner of his lips twitching at the sides. It was a sad attempt at a smile. Mentally, Connie sighed at his boss’ unfocused mind when there was something that greatly irritates him. The trainee chef was just literally in the car with them and Levi told Connie to bring the chef with them on the way to check the new location. 

“This is Niccolo, sir. He was in the car with us. He’s the one highly considered by the HR,” Connie expertly answered. 

“So you’re on the last stage,” Levi addresses Niccolo. The nervous man gulps but answers. “Yes, sir.” 

Connie watches the exchange, feeling a bit of pity for the tall man cowering at the gaze of such a short guy with a temper taller than a skyscraper. He was exactly like this when Levi interviewed him for the position. 

“Sorry, I had to make a detour because some shitheads can’t do their job right. Let’s go.” 

And so Niccolo and Connie followed the grumpy man back to the vehicle they just got not even three minutes ago. 

Not that he knew what to expect or had guesses but Niccolo was utterly surprised that he was brought to the first Kuchel’s restaurant. The legendary one that went viral. 

When he passed by the reception area, his eyes widened when he saw the reservation list filled with no spots left. It was practically booked for the month from what he saw. 

The kitchen smelled amazing, each one of the cooks was busy and they actually looked happy while working. They worked with so much coordination and laughter like he had never seen before. 

He thought that he’d train or cook with them today, seeing as they’re Kuchel’s main branch’s team. He was excited too. But again, Levi surprises him when he pushes another door open from the kitchen, revealing a staircase. The man says nothing but climbs upstairs. 

Confused but too scared to ask, Niccolo only stares at Connie but who beckons him to follow him up the stairs. When he sees Levi take a glance behind him, his feet move on its own, following the cold short man’s steps.

He sees a living room first. It’s a simple home but maintained well enough to look pristine. He kept on following Levi as he eventually led him to a kitchen. Levi turned to him and he’d be lying if he said that his heart didn’t jump at his sudden order. 

“Do whatever you like. You have an hour.” 

And then he leaves the kitchen, leaving Niccolo confused as he looks around at the domestic kitchen. He sees Connie, Levi’s assistant aggressively mouthing the words ‘cook anything’ as he follows Levi back to the living room. 

“Good job. I think he liked it.” 

Connie whispers to Niccolo before he leaves. Normally, he isn’t allowed to tell the training chefs what Levi thinks. But he’s feeling a little silly and Niccolo is his friend and his best friend, Sasha’s, boyfriend. 

Just like all the other training chefs, Levi brought Niccolo to his old home to cook something for him. Levi is hella picky with them but Connie could see that he actually liked his friend’s food. There was no pursing of lips, which was the worst of them all. Connie had to scramble and get the trainee out before he burst the room into a myriad of colorful words no one wants to hear. 

When they got back to the office, Hange was already there and most probably uninvited. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, four eyes?” 

Levi’s eyes were seething with annoyance as he sees his friend sitting at his desk on his chair, spinning around like an idiot. It was hard to believe that this woman is a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. 

“Shorty! You’re here!” She exclaimed, slamming her hands down on the fine wood of Levi’s desk to stop the chair from spinning. 

“Get the fuck up before I strangle you to death, Hange.” 

Hange chuckles but stands up anyway, skipping before plopping herself on the couch in Levi’s office. “Can you relax? I was just here to remind you that I’m getting married.” 

Levi groans and rolls his eyes. “Who would fucking forget, Hange? You text a fucking countdown at seven in the morning in the group chat tagged to everyone. The mute option has been fucking useless since you learned how to do it.” 

Levi sits down on his chair and switches on his computer to return to work despite his friend’s unsolicited visit to his office. 

“Oh! I wanted to ask you something too! Do you have a date for the wedding? So I can take note of a plus one, maybe?” 

He gives a blank stare to his friend for a second before turning back to his screen. “You know you can ask me that through a phone call, right?” He began typing away on his laptop, answering a few emails Connie forwarded to him. 

“Well, you blocked my number so I thought that you’d rather see me in person.” Hange shrugs with a grin.

Levi pauses, remembering that he did block Hange’s number that one night she insisted for he come over and watch a horror movie with Erwin and Moblit. He was working and couldn’t turn his phone on do not disturb mode so he had to specifically block Hange’s calls. He then proceeds to forget to unblock her until now. 

“So, no date?” Hange presses further. 

Levi grunts, annoyed at the stupid question. “Who the fuck am I gonna bring? It’s not like I’m gonna bring a random girl to your wedding, Hange.” 

“You totally could. They’re called escorts,” Hange suggests like a know-it-all.

“I don’t want a random stranger in your wedding pictures, four eyes.” 

“I would rather have that than see you so depressing in my pictures with your bitch face. Oh! Want me to set you up on a blind date?” Hange’s voice rises again, something that happens when she gets excited over an idea. 

“Fuck no,” Levi spat. 

“Your last serious relationship was decades ago, Levi. Give it a try again.” 

If looks could kill, funeral flowers would be thrown at Hange’s casket instead of wedding flowers. His fingers hover over the keyboard, hanging frozen at her words. At the mere implication of you, his blood boils and his chest tightens. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Well–”

“Are you saying I’m not over her again, Hange?” 

Before she could answer, the door swung open, revealing a tall blonde man with thick eyebrows who was grinning cheek to cheek. Great. Erwin’s here. Maybe they could send a few more uninvited people, order greasy pizza, and have a party in his office. 

“Over who?” Erwin asks, ever the gossip man. Levi grunts and rests his forehead in his palms as Hange greets Erwin enthusiastically before answering.

“You know who.”

Erwin narrows his eyes at Levi before sitting down on the other edge of the couch. Hange tells him about getting a blind date. “You could try, Hange. I’ve set him up with surprise blind dates before and you know how that went.” 

“Can you two fucking shut up and leave? I’m trying to work here,” Levi spat in annoyance. The pair ignores his grumbling, carrying on their conversation like he wasn’t in the room.

“But I have never set him up with someone before,” Hange points out. 

Erwin purses his lips. “I doubt that you can find a girl better than me, Hange. I tried everything.” 

Erwin and Hange look at each other with mischief, clearly enjoying Levi’s suffering from their teasing. He knows they won’t stop. If anything, it only egged them on further.

Hange places a finger on her chin obnoxiously. “Maybe you could ask the girl to wear green next time.” 

Erwin nods, crossing his arms like he’s actually considering it. “Absolutely. We all know Levi still loves his greenie.” 

God, even her nickname is a pain to hear. 

Levi slams a hand down his mahogany desk so loud that people outside his office probably heard it. It didn’t faze his friends who were snickering on the couch though. They know he’s about to blow. He’s so frustrated that he almost ran a finger through his well-kept hair but caught himself before damaging it, exhaling loudly in frustration before speaking. 

“Look, you dipshits. I told you a thousand times. Forget about that damned woman. I’m not dating because I’m goddamn busy with all these expansions, not because I’m not over a girl who left us all without a fucking trace.” Every word is laced with venom and he ends it with a huff. 

“Fine. We get it. You’re over her but you’re still angry at her.” Hange rolls her eyes. 

Levi doesn’t know exactly when they started referring to her as mere stories or inside jokes. But evidently, it turned out that way. They used to be hurt at the thought of her disappearing. Slowly, they started to forget. Except him. He’s still angry and confused when he thinks of a reason why. 

“I am,” he admits.

“And if she comes to see you again? What will you do?” 

This question again, Levi thinks. 

He sighs. Like an automated machine, he answers the question as he did a myriad of times before, the first being the answer to one of your stupid games of what-if questions when you were together. Most were just ways to make him say those damn three words to you. It was usually just dumb things like “What if I was a worm?” and he would roll his eyes and tell you that he would unhesitatingly kill you before kissing you when you frown in disappointment. One question, however, deeply offended him more than anything. 

“Levi, what if I asked you to break up with me?” 

You were sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over your legs, still reeling from the sad romantic movie the two of you watched where the disabled paralyzed man still decides to die even after he fell in love with his caregiver. 

Levi, who’s in the middle of choosing another movie from your collection of DVDs, freezes in his seat. He doesn’t turn to look at you but you see his whole body tensed up having heard what you said.

“What if we break up like that?” 

You repeat the question with a pout on your lips. Levi finally looks at you with a frown on his face. He sighs and looks away, gaze lifting up for a second as if he’s thinking. 

“No,” he answers even if the question upsets him. “We’re not gonna break up.”

You noticed that his mood falters from your question.  Feeling a little bad, you wrap a hand around his bicep, pulling yourself close to his side. With a smile, you lean in and give him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t be sad. It was just hypothetical.”

He instantly leans unto you. He always does so when you’re near—like opposite sides of a magnet being pulled together by force. He always wants to be near you.

“Can you just go back to stupid questions like the worm shit?” He asks with a low voice, faces too close to each other that his lips could brush yours. 

You give him a teasing grin and hum, nodding but doing the exact opposite of what he asked. Ever his stubborn girl, you continue asking. “But what if I leave you?” 

He glares at you, not very pained this time, knowing it’s just you teasing again. Instead, his brows furrowed as he gazed down at you with his silver eyes. His eyes flick down to your lips and his lower lip brushes against yours for a millisecond. When you were sure he was about to kiss you, he shoves a hand at your face and pushes you away with a little force, making you land on the couch on your back. 

You laugh but curse him out loud for his attack. Levi huffs, crossing his arms and looking away. 

“If you do that, I will ignore you for the rest of my fucking life. You’re dead to me.” He says it with so much conviction that you know he doesn’t mean a word of it. 

You sit up again, frowning then lightly slapping his shoulder. “That’s rude. What if I come back to see you, then?” 

He scoffs loudly, still looking away from you, and spots his box of cleaning supplies. Then, he says the second thing that comes into his mind, thinking that the first one he thought of would seem desperate and pathetic of him. 

He opens his mouth to speak and the words you hear from him causes an ever louder laugh out of you. He smiles before pushing you on your back again. This time, pulling himself on top of you and sealing your lips with a kiss. 

“I’d spray her with some fucking Windex, throw baking soda on her stupid face, and kick her out.” 

Usually, the statement is so funny to them that it ends the conversation. Sometimes, he even gives them a demonstration where one of their unlucky friends gets to be on the receiving end. But this time, Erwin has a follow-up question that goes straight to Levi’s chest.

“And if she insists on staying? What will you do?” 

Levi went quiet. Hange and Erwin give a knowing sad look at each other that Levi doesn’t catch. They didn’t mean to push him this hard. But they had to know if he was ready. 

From just outside his door where Connie’s desk is placed, his secretary listens in as well. He heard about his boss’ ex. The whole office knows about it. His mysterious ex and the only woman Levi Ackerman loved. That was what everyone knew. But from spending too much time with his boss more than he wanted to, Connie had learned the following about his boss’ only relationship:

Her nickname is Greenie because she liked green tea. Levi prefers black tea but he accidentally told you he liked green tea too then ran with it for four months until Hanji revealed the truth accidentally.

The four of them knew each other for a long time. He doesn’t know if they met in high school or college. But in school, definitely.

After getting their undergraduate degree, she asked Levi to break up and broke his heart with words.

After the breakup, she disappeared from Paradis. Levi waited for her for a long time, broken and yearning. She didn’t come back. Now, all Levi has is bitterness in his body.

Those are what Connie gathered from his little detective skills to cope with having to work under the horribly mannered man. Then, he shares it with his best friend, Sasha, during his lunch break. 

He listens a little more, the email he was reading sitting idle for longer than it should. His boss still doesn’t answer. 

Inside, Erwin and Hange await their friend’s reply who is still lost in his own thoughts. Erwin decides to push him one last time. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“If she comes to you for closure, will you accept it? You’re over her, right? You can stay angry, that’s valid. She did you wrong. But will you at least hear her?” 

Levi keeps quiet but listens to Erwin. The word closure gives his stomach an unsettling feeling. It felt wrong to hear it. But it doesn’t matter. His friends were just bored and bluffing again. He can bluff too. 

“I don’t really care about her as much as you think I still do. When I see her, I’ll do what I said I would. Then it’s done. I don’t care what she does anymore.” 

It’s been five days since you coincidentally met Hange and Moblit. Before you parted ways, you exchanged numbers and your old friend has been messaging you nonstop. You appreciated it. Hange was always light-hearted and kind. You’re glad she found someone who appreciates her and takes care of her. So when she mentioned that there was a conflict with the invitations, you offered to fix it for her, knowing a thing or two about it. You handled project management a few times as an intern. 

There was once a time when you called her your best friend. You know that’s a title you no longer hold but either way, you were glad to talk to her again. Even if you know that in the very near future, you would have to face what it holds for you. Now that Hange is back in your life, it’s only a matter of time and you’d have to see your ex again. You lie awake at night thinking of what you’d do then. 

It was Saturday. That means no work for you after lunch, thankfully. You ground through your paper works and clients like a corporate machine all week, wanting to finish them before Saturday so you wouldn’t have to go overtime on a weekend. And after about nine cups of highly caffeinated green tea, you finally finished all your work for the week. Now free from the shackles of labor and capitalism, you slung your tote bag over your shoulder and headed out of your office and onto the elevator. 

Passing by Pixis’ office, you inform him you’re taking your leave which he cheerfully allowed, wishing you a happy weekend before you left his office. You bid him to have the same and left the building, anxious to see through the next events of the day. If this was a normal weekend, you’d be content with wasting away in bed as soon as you rushed home. 

You handled the invitations over the week, using your break time to oversee how it’s going with the printing service you trust for things like this. They generously accepted your request for a rush order, knowing who you are. 

The invitations were piled into a box on your coffee table by Friday, ready to be sent out to Hange’s guests. When you texted Hange that they were ready, she sent over her apartment’s address, telling you to personally meet her there on Saturday after work. She argues when you tell her you can just send it in the same day through an app, whining about how she wants to hang out with you. 

Hange, ever the persuasive and persistent person, got you to agree. That, and you still feel guilty for declining her invitation to her wedding. 

After you press the doorbell, you wait patiently with your left hand holding the small box of invitations. Her apartment was apparently a penthouse. An apartment in this building already costs an arm and a leg. Hange is smart and talented, one of her research must’ve been really successful. You also remembered that she was probably living with Moblit here. Ah, the wonders of having a partner in life—shared rent. Maybe you should get a roommate. 

When the door was taking too long to be answered, you shoot up a text for Hange. 

hey i’m here outside ur door ! :)) 

ok! just wAit a bit

It didn’t take Hange long to reply, easing your anxiety a little. When it takes more than a minute after she sends her text, you tilt your head in confusion. Are you at the correct address? Maybe you’re at the wrong unit. You were pretty sure you were on the right one, though. You rechecked it a few times. 

You wait a little bit more before ringing the doorbell again. You assume she’s probably grossed into something and can’t take the door at the moment. With a sigh, you wait a few more minutes, turning away from the door and deciding to scroll through your social media accounts that you barely use. 

A smile involuntarily plasters itself on your face when you see the posts of your coworkers from Trost. Warmth spreads to your chest as you see the office through the pictures, reminiscing your time there. It’s suddenly frightening, the realization that you’re alone in this huge city with no one to turn to. It’s a feeling you’re awfully familiar with, a state you’d rather not return to. 

When you feel yourself drift away to those thoughts, you pull yourself away immediately, figuring that the time you waited should be enough to press the doorbell again. 

But as you turn around to press it for the second time, the door swings open harshly in a swift motion, making you jump a little in surprise and fear as you hear an annoyed groan from a man that is most definitely not Hange coming with it. 

“For fuck’s sake. Did Hange give a woman my addre…”

The two of you froze. 

The raven-dark hair parted in the middle. The undercut. Those gray eyes and his beautiful piercing gaze. Those high cheekbones and soft cheeks. Those furrowed brows and scrunched forehead that was softly dissipated from his face when he sees you standing behind the door. Those delicate pink lips, now parted in awe and mirroring yours.

Neither of you can move like you were frozen in time. Every muscle in your body refused to move. Your brain stopped functioning and wasn't even able to conjure a coherent thought, much less a response. The only thing you could do was stare at the man you once called home. 

He still had dark under eyes but they were more prominent than before. You hate how it still suited him even if you hated how little he sleeps; they make his gaze heavier, willing you to get lost with him. A few strands of his fringe fall over his eyes. They were a little longer than what you were used to but it was still the same haircut you used to run your hand over when you were cuddling. It was a little unkempt. And even though his white shirt is a little crumpled, it still smoothly falls over his frame. It drapes from his defined shoulders to his waist until the hem of the shirt goes over the band of his gray sweatpants that hugged his legs loosely. 

He breaks the gaze spell when his eyes go over you, top to bottom. He stares at your shocked and devastated countenance, the casual but decent clothes that you changed into after work, the box in your hand, and the way your right foot has stepped further back than your left when he opened the door, ready to run away at the thought the man who opened the door was angry. 

You open your mouth to speak. You know you have to say something. Anything. Hi? Hello? How are you? Is this where Hange lives? Why the fuck do you still look so hot? 

But none of that comes out.

Why? 

Levi’s face hardens before you can speak, wiping off the bewildered eyes and replacing them with his infamous glare, silver eyes glistening with specks of anger. His mouth closes into a frown but not before scoffing at you. The scorned expression on his face shuts you right up for a second but you try and carry on.

This time, before you can speak, he slams the door shut in your face with an impact so loud it booms through your whole being enough to raise all the hair on your skin, leaving you standing there in his floor’s corridor appalled and deeply belittled.

Your startled brain is more confused than ever. As you decide to slowly process what happened and not even ten seconds after he harshly shuts his door, it swings open again, revealing the same man who not-so-gently shut it, with a hand still on the knob and the other holding something blue.

His arm outstretched towards you and you were faced with a nozzle of a familiar spray bottle. With a straight face, he sprays the fucking liquid right on your face. You immediately shut your eyes and mouth, leaning your face away from the spray. Although it’s far enough to not cover your face if you hadn’t moved, you still cringe when you feel the tiny droplets on your skin.

You lift one eye open, scared that he’s about to spray again. He puts the bottle down to his side, looking satisfied with his work. When you open both eyes, he shuts the door again, leaving you in the corridor with heightened emotions from the first time he did it paired with an itching aggravation. 

Was that a fucking Windex? 

Hold on. Windex? 

The door swings open again and he fully reveals himself without a hand on the knob like the two times before. This time he’s holding an orange cardboard box labeled Pure Baking Soda and reaches into it with his other hand. 

You shut your eyes close immediately, realizing what was happening when you remembered his words to you years ago. 

“I’d spray you with some fucking Windex, throw baking soda on your face, and kick you out.” 

The baking soda hits your face, making your nose involuntarily scrunch up because of the fistful of powder he threw at you. When you guess that he’s satisfied after successfully throwing you the promised baking soda, you blink your eyes open, finding him still standing there with a straight face. 

“Are you done?” you asked with a deadpan face, covered with baking soda.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

[isfjmel-phleg]

Vacation adventures, a summary

Stayed with my friend whom I hadn't seen in three years. She is amazing and I can't believe that a) she's a real person and b) she is in fact voluntarily friends with me, even after all this time.

Made it on to the commuter train despite both of us sleeping through our alarms. We were stuck in the vicinity of a woman who was bent on loudly telling the world the Painful Story of Her Life, but still. a train! It was exciting.

Took the subway to our destination and emerged into Historic City, which is beautiful. Flowers on the lampposts. Buildings with character. We wandered through parks and gardens and saw statuary and geese and absorbed atmosphere.

Went to the public library, which is full of murals and has a courtyard with a fountain. Imagine working in a library like that.

Went to two art musuems (one with an unattainable beautiful courtyard, an image which has been following me through life) and wore our legs out wandering among wonders. I got to see the Little Dancer, which made my younger self very happy.

Went to church with my friend and survived a social event she had to go to with church people. It went better than I thought; they actually said more to me in an evening than most people at the church I currently go to have in over a year and a half.

Went to a vintage-style dress shop and bought a dress with a book print.

Ate lemon curd ice cream with lemon bars in it while looking out over the water near a picturesque town.

Watched three movie versions of Little Women over two nights and critiqued them as prepration for when we...

Went to Orchard House. Fantastic experience, loved getting to know more about the Alcotts through this tangible means. We also drove past some other houses in Concord where they lived.

Bought sandwiches and had a lowkey picnic near the town visitor center.

Went to a charming used bookstore where, when I told the lady that I was buying a map as a gift for my dad in a faraway city, she took the trouble to find a flattened box to encase the map in for travel. (There were a lot of nice people in this area.)

Tracked down the Alcott family's gravesite and left a pencil on Louisa's headstone alongside the many other pens and pencils left there.

Tried to go to Walden Pond but it was too happening a place for any more people to be let through. Maybe next time. But the surrounding area and what I could see through the trees was gorgeous.

Prowled my friend's town while she was at work. The library is so very grand for such a small place, and there's a lovely lake too.

Took a bus on a whim despite the lack of a clearly marked bus stop and went to a bookstore in another town.

Went to another bookstore in the afternoon and sat outside reading until my friend got off work and I walked to meet up with her.

Explored the pond that contains deep below its surface an animatronic white whale leftover from a long-defunct amusement park. The whale isn't visible, of course, but we found the tracks used to move an animatronic rhinoceros that was part of the ride, and the ramp that was used to launch the whale into the water. It was like extremely hands-off archaeology, if archaeology consisted of hoping you'll bump into relics of the past with no effort (the pond is in an office park, and we didn't want to get in trouble for meddling with the property).

Took the bus again and went to a comics shop and raised comment by systematically going through an enormous unsorted $1 bin for literally hours. Worth it.

Took my friend to dinner at an Italian place built into the side of a hill with no apparent parking space and a grand total of three dining tables inside. The food was delicious.

Talked a lot, listened a lot, hugged a lot. I haven't been so not stressed out or not simmeringly angry in a long time. It was very refreshing and exactly what I needed and I am so glad and grateful that it worked out.

[teddypickerry]

𝐈’𝐌 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘥 𝘫𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 !

pairings — single dad! jess mariano

summary — this is the first part of my new series. where you request things jess does as a dad with his daughter alice (ex: throwing her a birthday party, helping her when she’s sick, alice and jess during a year in the life, luke and lorelai baby-sitting alice, etc.). this chapter is SIMPLY THE PROLOGUE! introducing alice & her story. but YOU HAVE TO REQUEST the rest of the fic. i will write some of the chapters with my own ideas but for the most part this is something you guys are helping me with. i’m so very excited for this series & for you guys to meet jess as a dad <3

warnings — this is NOT a jess x rory fic. this will only become a jess x reader fic if that is requested & it’s something i agree to. this fic will include language, drinking, mentions of sex, etc. but each chapter will have its own section of warnings personalized to its criteria.

word count — 2.8k

extras — i plan on writing several chapters of this. SO PLEASE REQUEST!

the california weeks were something jess mariano didn't reminisce fondly of. something about the lack of communication between him and his father and maybe knowing there was nothing waiting for him back in stars hollow. but the one good thing that came out of that trip was the drunken night hoping to forget his life with a girl he met on the beach. she was blonde, not his typical go-to but she wasn't hard on the eyes. so he accompanied her back to her dorm room alongside the college on the coast.

two months later jess was back in new york city. eighteen years old and left alone with the world. it was when he got a phone call from the same girl, announcing to him her pregnancy. this was something he could have never expected and honestly — hoped for. never once did the young adult think of something like this, especially to happen this way. but he had a responsibility and he was ready to grow up. that meant raising the child in his mind. so, months later, he watched his baby girl be born.

the night in the hospital was dreadful. the multiple day bus ride to california and lack of sleep only made his adrenaline rush more. the young woman expressed several complaints throughout the delivery, telling jess she was scared and she couldn't do it. the boy only told her they had a baby now, they had to take on this responsibility. and just like that, she was gone the moment the doctor signed the release papers. leaving jess mariano and a small child in his arms.

the journey back home was inevitable, a small bed in a shared apartment calling his name. a severe amounts of his savings were spent on a plane ticket back to the city. the few hours on a plane with a newborn much better than multiple days. considering, he was pretty sure the two would get kicked off. but jess mariano loved his little girl, alice, he had decided on. right before they were to leave the hospital. he loved their matching eyes and the way she smiled. he loved the way she squeezed his finger with her entire hand and the way she looked into his eyes. jess mariano had gone soft the moment his daughter was born. something he'd never admit.

the first few months were tiring. with the amount of shifts the new dad had to pick up to pay for simple products and the crying baby he lacked any amount of sleep. as did his roommates whom complained any chance they got. after continuously telling them off and spending some spare change on a pacifier, jess finally started to settle down. he started with making her own clothes out of his old t-shirts. of course they weren't pretty but he tried. but as time went on, he was able to afford the necessary items to make his babygirl happy. even though she would be happy nonetheless, as long as she had her dad.

the repetitive first months were still admirable in jess' book. he had never loved another being as much as he adored alice. he thought he loved rory but the way he felt for his child made any other kind of love incomparable. even if she spit up on him or wouldn't let him get a blink or sleep, he still found himself smiling at her sleeping late at night. proud of the little human who filled his heart.

the ending of the rotation began when jess was preparing for another shift at work. alice laid on jess' bed, pillows surrounding her like a nest to keep her safe from rolling over into their roommates crap. the young adult threw a t-shirt over his frame when he turned around, noticing the figure in the apartment door frame.

"hey, neighbor! the guys next door just ran out of crack to sell, so they sent me over to borrow a cup. hey, nice place. you put those holes there yourself?" luke danes questioned, pointing his flannel covered arm towards the large holes in the wall. the man hadn't seen his nephew in a little bit over a year, back when he was still seventeen and living back in stars hollow. when everything was different. "what are you doing here?"

"i just wanted to see how you're doing," luke shrugged at his nephews words as she glanced around the apartment. it was obvious he noticed the baby half asleep on the mattress, her pacifier in her mouth. assuming it was the other sleeping man's. "going great."

"great, you're doing great. wow, you're doing great. i'm not doing great and i have running water," he humored as jess huffed. the teenager grabbed his bag, throwing in a few of the things alice would need while she sat with him at work. "the place is fine."

"fine not great? what happened to great?" luke asked as he watched his nephew throw several children's items in his bag. his head glancing back and forth between his nephew and the baby. two and two connecting at the moment. jess sighed heavy, nearly waking up his roommate. "all this and no housewarming gift?"

luke turned towards his nephew with widened eyes, his finger locked in a point as he pointed between him and the baby once more. "jess... tell me why- tell me that's not..."

"spit it out, uncle luke." jess humored as he turned towards him in frustration, already being late for work. "what is that?"

"the ending of my adolescence," the boy shrugged as he zipped the bag. his curly hair bopped as he made his way over towards the baby, watching her flutter her eyes open. he offered her his arms as he picked her up. luke felt his heart stop as he watched jess with the baby, confusion entering his body. "you have a- a-"

"a little demon, hm?" jess hummed as he pressed his lips to her tiny forehead. turning back to his uncle with his daily poker face. luke still couldn't fathom the situation, still locked in a moment of shock. "why didn't you- you know, tell me? i mean when could this have happened? i saw you a couple months ago."

"thirteen months ago actually. when you kicked me out, remember? couldn't exactly ask for some help when you didn't want me," jess held the baby tightly as she watched her great uncle luke. the man looking right back at the baby. "jess, i would have- just... mom?"

"not here."

luke remained silent as he watched the small baby. noticing the similarities between her and the baby jess. "alice. her names alice," jess mumbled making his uncle glance up at him. "alice? that's a pretty name... too normal for you."

"well she's named after a rock legend," jess admitted making luke burst into a small smile as he watched the little girl. jess holding her forward. "here."

luke was quick to grab the baby, holding her in his arms protectively. he was in awe of the little baby who had yet to cry in the minutes he had been there. something that was so far from her father as a child. "so, why're you really here?"

"well uh, liz told me you weren't coming to the wedding." the man told his nephew, his eyes not leaving the baby cradled in his arms. "there no way you're here about that."

"i am here about that," he argued as he glanced up at the teenager who threw on his leather jacket. "why?"

"why? you're mothers getting married and you're not coming. you also have a new family member that she's gonna desperately want to meet. and i'm assuming, she's yet to hear about this little angel." jess' personal note, make fun of luke for calling alice a little angel... even though she kind of is a little angel.

"no biggie. i'll just catch the next wedding. they can meet ali then, i'm sure she'll have maybe another hair or two by then." jess joked as he reached his hands forward, motioning for his uncle to give him back his baby. luke sighed before obliging; very carefully handing him the babygirl. "jess, this guy is different."

"come on," the teenager choked on a laugh before turning down to look at his smiley baby. the girl had developed a habit of smiling at her father's voice within the past week and a half. it was wild to him how quickly she had grown, not even opening her eyes three months ago. "well he could be different, he seems different." luke attempted to argue, despite noticing jess falling into his own world with his baby. he was proud of jess for his responsibility taken on with the baby and the way his eyes lit up as he watched her. jess mariano was not the same boy that left stars hollow a year ago.

"i've seen him with liz. they seem to work. we need to support this thing, to give it a chance," the man shrugged as he watched his nephew glance up from his baby. "no we don't." he wasted no time going back to place his baby on the mattress as he gathered her blanket to wrap around. "you're gonna regret it, jess."

"doubt it," jess bit back his crooked smile as he wrapped the girl in her small blanket. the protectiveness from the spring new york chills. "no you are. if you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together and drop this selfish, self-destructive behavior that you are so fond of, if that ever happens, you are gonna look back on this moment, and you're gonna feel like a big seaming mound of crap that you missed this. and maybe you have changed, you have a baby now and you're looking at her like... a parent should look at their kid. and she's obviously not in a biker gang so maybe you're doing something right. but jess, you've got a bunch of smelly mattresses and no running water and a toilet in the middle of the room. this stubborn individuality or yours is costing your kid a good childhood."

jess' eyes narrowed as he turned to look over at his uncle. he hated that he agreed with some of his words, knowing alice deserved much more. but she had milk everyday, a warm place to sleep, and a dad who loved her very much. which is more than jess could ever say for himself. "does she seem malnourished to you?"

"what?" luke asked, with his signature confused face. "does she look malnourished to you? or unhappy for that matter? does the clothes with flowers on her back not scream happiness? or what about the fridge with multiple bottles? god, i must be abusing her then, huh?" jess argued as he placed her in his arms, the bag slung around his shoulder. "todd, get up its four!"

jess only shot his uncle an annoyed look as he shoved past him, exiting the apartment. holding his free hand over his baby's back with a soothing pat. "hm... ali, that was your uncle luke. he's kind of a jackass sometimes but he means well. you'll like him sometime, i promise." he whispered to his daughter as he made his way off to work. contemplating how he would explain his little girl to the small town of stars hollow.

it was only a couple hours later that jess mariano packed up his and his daughter's belongings to head to the small town a few hours away. a car ride full of rock CDs to teach his daughter to have an adequate music taste. he only battled with himself the entire shift. debating whether or not to go to the wedding or not. he had no doubt in his mind that he would see his mother's wedding once again. it seemed only every few months that she she found "the one." but his attendance meant a lot to luke for some odd reason. and whether he wanted to admit it or not, luke was the only person who was ever truly there for jess.

so the moment jess emerged in the small town, he sighed at the familiar signs. stopping the moment he saw the town gazebo, parking in-front of the william's hardware store. the curly haired boy stepped out of the car, immediately opening the backdoor and grabbing his baby. the bags thrown over his shoulder she slept peacefully against his shoulder. he could already feel the eyes on him around the town. he was a recognizable character within the small population. the baby in his arms didn't exactly keep him hidden either.

jess made his way into the familiar diner, lacking customers due to the after dinner crowd. the familiar bell only attracted the eyes of the people, the man behind the counter fighting a smile at the sight. "i'm not paying for a motel, so i'm staying with you." he called, making his way past towards the stairwell. they entered the stairwell and made their way up towards the apartment, not even wanting to hear any further comments. the silence from lorelai gilmore made luke turn his head in shock, not used to it.

"um- luke? please tell me that a hairless cat was just being cradled by your nephew right now." lorelai's jaw nearly dropped as she set down her mug. luke glanced around the diner, attempting to find a customer in need of some help. "that is alice."

"his babydoll...?" the inn owner tilted her head as luke let out a breath. "his daughter, my great niece. she's about three months i think. met her earlier, she's great."

"liar! i am not caught up on everything!" the girl gasped towards the man making him groan. "i was getting there but then the proof presented itself. and i only saw her a few hours ago."

"just wow... how is he dealing with all of this? i mean gosh... he's eighteen," lorelai thought aloud reminiscing on her own times as a teenage parent. the struggles and the rewards of having your best friend. the only difference was maturity in her mind. jess was still the immature and cold teenage dirtbag who broke her daughter's heart the year prior. but now he was a parent, just like that.

"i'm gonna go see them. you want to meet her?" luke asked the woman as she replied in a smile. "yeah, of course."

the two exited the empty dinner. luke granting caesar, his chef, privileges to run the place while he made his way upstairs. lorelai followed hesitantly, her mind still on her previously heart broken daughter the entire time. and the boy that had broken it now had a baby.

"ah you're here," jess announced without looking up from his little girl. hearing the sound of the door creaking open as the two entered the apartment. he currently had her in a clean diaper on his old bed, a giggle escaping her lips as he looked down at her. "i do show up occasionally," luke responded.

"hi, jess." lorelai greeted making the boy look up from his little girl. mixed feelings swarming throughout his body. having no idea why or how to feel about her at the very moment. "lorelai," he greeted before looking back down at his girl. "and who's this?" lorelai asked smiley as she followed luke over towards the baby and her father. alice smiled warmly at both people, her bright gestures resulting in smiles throughout the room. "this is alice."

"in wonderland?" she joked as he admired the little girl. jess pressed his lips together as he shook his head. "cooper."

a simple 'ah' escaped from the woman's lips. the desperation was obvious on her face as jess picked the baby up, handing her towards lorelai who proudly held her. jess never truly trusted anyone with his baby. but he knew lorelai knew a thing or two about kids and people in general. even though she lacked showing him that decent respect in the past. "she's so beautiful."

"she's my kid," jess humored as he made his way over towards the fridge passing luke who watched lorelai hold his great niece with pure love. something jess noticed immediately. "i wasn't sure what food to eat." he announced making luke turn towards him. "eat what you like. start with the expired stuff." his eyes glanced over towards the beautiful woman holding the beautiful the baby. a smile instantly forming on his face. "go out. i'm hearing good buzz about the chow mein sandwhich from al's. i got her. caesar can watch the store."

"yeah, i'm sure you haven't been without her since she was born. go get some food for an hour or so. it's the only break you'll get until she's eighteen and off at college," lorelai smiled as she rocked the little girl who was flapping her arms around. jess watched his daughter protectively for a second before sighing. "sure, yeah. i should go get some diapers - for her, anyways. i'll be back in an hour."

[collegetennisoriginstory]

I don’t even know how I beat both Emerson and jacks, the entire time I was just spinning a wheel and vaguely being like “oh yeah, my finesse is high”, I’m so sorry because even though I played through the entire demo I have not picked up a single bit of strategy or knowledge about tennis. It went through one ear and out the other, but god do you write the matches so beautifully. I was on the edge of my seat, clutching my pearls, literally had to close my eyes as I picked an option cause I was so worried about losing. The laser tag part was arguably my favourite though!!! I passed my mother out in the hallway getting water and she asked me why I was laughing so hard. Thank you so much for writing this!!! I’m looking forward to any updates!!! <333 please take care of yourself!!! Sorry for the long ask, anyways, ideal dates for the ROs???

HAHAHA yasss now I can't shake the image of you clutching your pearls and cackling in the hallway. Thank you for the message, it really made me smile.

So glad you enjoyed the laser tag, I go through phases of "SHOULD I JUST CUT OUT ALL THE RUBBISH FLUFF IN CT:OS" and "No no, someone out there is enjoying it", so it's definitely useful to get a vote in favour of the fluff.

Ideal dates for the ROs below the cut! (I only included one each, but I can imagine them enjoying more than one type of date!)

Tobin

Tobin and MC drive upstate, to visit a quaint little town. They stumble across a large thrift store and goof around with the dusty treasures, chat with the thrift shop owner and end up getting a bunch of silly things for each other (owner practically gives 'em away for free). They get brunch in a local diner/coffee shop, then hike in a forested national park nearby. Tobin's hand finds its way into MC's as they walk, and they follow a little creek through the trees, chatting and laughing. They grab a cinnamon doughnut before heading back.

Rayyan

Rayyan invites MC back home with them over the summer. In the morning, they go for a quick dip in a freezing-cold lake, then lie on a rock to dry-off, allowing the sun to slowly warm their skin. Then they head home and help their mother prepare lunch —a hugely elaborate affair—and spend the afternoon in the living room, napping/playing with the cat/chatting with their grandpa/siblings. Rayyan is... different with their family; more relaxed, at ease, and MC gets to see a side of them that they rarely see at training.

G

G and MC spontaneously take a bus downtown one afternoon, to attend an obscure Altai throat-singing concert that G heard of from a random brochure. It's a strange, but mind-blowing experience, and they stay to chat with some of the singers after, and they recommend a restaurant in the next town that serves amazing food. G and MC end up getting a lift from them so they can eat there for dinner; across the candle-lit table, G reaches for MC's hand. They spend the long bus ride back chatting until G falls asleep on MC's shoulder.

Sam

Sam and MC have known each other for a long time, but Sam still always finds a way to cook up some chaotic new adventure—like the time they ended up brewing purple rice wine in Sam's kitchen because they "watched a cool YouTube video". Now that Sam's in UCLA, MC has also been treated to all the best sites in the city of lights, long afternoons spent on the beach, playing beach volleyball, watching the sunset, getting tacos, then driving out to the desert to see the stars.

[amitherenbored]

The Long Ride

If I’d have been a bit sleepier, I might have not noticed it at all. I also might have missed my stop.

At some point you get used to riding the bus every day. It become an inseparable part of your routine, not just because you do it each day, but also because it dictates exactly when you need to leave your workplace and when you need to wake up, you start to recognize each driver and each passenger, and you know exactly when your stop is, even when half asleep.

That is why, after a particularly exhausting shift, I allowed myself to lean on the window and grab some shuteye on my way home.

I don’t know what woke me up. By all means, I should have been sleeping much better than usual. The bus wasn’t rattling as it normally did, and the disturbing noises of the passengers were non-existent. But I woke up nonetheless.

The silence caught me first. I was still groggy, so I have a good excuse for not noticing the rest first. The air in the bus stood completely still, and as my consciousness slowly returned to me, I was hit by the absolute silence. There was no revving to the engine, no sounds of conversation, not even the general hum of the city around us. The bus was moving, there was still the gentle swaying and the feeling of forward motion, but it hadn’t changed speed or direction in quite a while.

I decided to go ask the bus driver what was going on, mostly out of lack of anything better to do. As I stood up and made my way forward, I noticed the second weird thing – no one else was moving. The bus was mostly empty by this point of the journey with only a handful of people scattered around the bus. It was as I was passing by an old couple facing each other that it dawned on me. They were looking at each other, eyes wide open and mouth half open, as if mid-sentence. Unmoving. Caught in the middle of some unknown conversation.

It was the same with every other person I passed. A woman in a red dress stuck while texting a friend, one of her fingers still on the phone’s keyboard. A kid eating a bag of chips, his hand suspended between the bag and his mouth. I felt my throat tightening with every agonizing step forward, anxiety gripping me from the stomach and making its way up my spine.

I stopped in front of a father holding a stroller near the doors at the middle of the bus. He was as unmoving as the rest. I gathered my courage and put two fingers to his neck. Nothing. His skin was warm, but there was no pulse to be felt. I leaned down over the stroller, watching a tiny baby sleeping peacefully, but their chest wasn’t moving, and I couldn’t feel their breath as I reached my hand over their face.

By this point I could feel the horror clawing its way at my soul and my mind distantly knew I was shaking. I breathed in and out slowly, eyes shut tight. My fingers curled around my neck, feeling my pulse. It’s OK. I was going to be OK.

It was then when I made the mistake of looking out the window. I was still standing near the father and his baby, my eyes focusing outwards. It was dark, the light of streetlamps staining the night. But beyond that, instead of buildings, I could only see dark blobs of matter. Spiraling forms that were maybe once trees, huge rock-like structures that may have been meant to be houses. Even the streetlamps, which seemed normal at first glance, were corrupted, snaking up at odd angles, their light much weaker than it should have been.

I looked away. This wasn’t helping.

I needed to get to the driver, this was the only solution. I walked forward briskly but quietly, not stopping to look at the still passengers. When I finally spotted the driver, I sighed in relief. Usually, in horror films, the driver’s sit would be empty. Of course, then I noticed he wasn’t blinking, his hands were frozen on the wheel.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so badly, but I knew it was the worst thing I could be doing. So I sat down on the floor and breathed again. There must be something else I can do.

I don’t know how long I sat there. The bus wasn’t changing course and I was to rattled to think about checking my phone. At some point I decided to check the people again. I passed an older lady with shopping baskets at her feet, a guy with a small poodle on a leash and a teenage girl with earphones on.

The girl was staring pointedly out the window and tapping her fingers on her thigh. The girl. Was tapping her fingers. Tapping.

It was clear she hadn’t noticed me, which was probably a good thing, since I was staring at her, slack jawed. She couldn’t have been older than sixteen, maybe younger. She was wearing a simple T-shirt and jeans, with expensive looking earphones over her short brown hair. It took every bit of courage I still had to move myself forward and tap her on the shoulder.

I don’t know what I expected. Maybe for her to turn slowly and grin at me with teeth like knives, or for her face to be completely featureless, or perhaps for her eyes to be solid white, or red or any other unnatural color. Instead, she jumped in her sit and made a small yelp, suddenly looking at me with confused brown eyes. Then, her expression turned from confusion to curiosity, and she pulled her earphones down.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft and genuine. “You should have told me you’re here and I would have stopped.”

All I could do was continue staring.

We stayed silent for a second to long, until she broke the silence again.

“Well, are you going to join me, or…?”

I don’t know why, I swear I don’t know why, but I sat next to her. In turn, the girl scanned me from head to toes, in a way that made me suddenly aware of the location of each of my joints.

“You look like you’ve never done this before. Are you new to this?”

New to what? I didn’t know. So I nodded.

“Ah, that makes sense.” She nodded along with me. “Quick rundown. This is the Inbetween, a space between here and there.”

“Between here… and there?”

My own voice sounded raspy in my throat.

The girl paused and stared into the air, as if considering.

“Imagine,” she started, “that between each moment in time, you stopped existing. Instead, every atom in your body disappeared and reappeared a moment later, only moved a little. This is the place between each of these moments. Between every breath, each beat of your heart, each note of music. The Inbetween.”

She gestured around dramatically at the bus.

“So these people…”

“Perfectly fine. They’ll be back to their noisy nosy selves the moment I let this continue”

I breathed in relief and settled more deeply into my sit. But there were still some things that were bugging me.

“Why does the Inbetween look like this?” I nodded my head towards the window and the warped world outside.

The girl turned her head to face the window again.

“Oh, it doesn’t. I just like having a view. It isn’t really the same, listening to music, when you have nothing to look at. Also, I like to keep the bus moving. Really adds to the atmosphere, don’t you think?”

“I… sure. Yeah”

The girl didn’t seem to notice my bewilderment. Instead, she nodded and smiled in encouragement. We passed a few more moments in silence, though it didn’t seem to bother her.

“Why… Why are you doing this?”

The girl cocked her head in confusion. “Doing what?”

“Stopping time? Or being in the Inbetween, or whatever you’re calling this. Why are you doing this?”

A look of melancholy passed on the girl’s face, there a moment and then gone, replaced by an apologetic look.

“I really am sorry. If I knew someone like me would be here, I’d never have done this. It’s just… I don’t get much time to myself nowadays as…”

She stopped and sighed.

“I’m sorry for trapping you, it wasn’t my intention. I guess I just wasn’t ready to get off the bus. After all, there is so much good music to listen to. It often feels like I’ll never manage to listen to all of it.” She looked up at me. “But here I am, rambling again, when you probably just want to go home. I’ll leave you to it.”

I woke up with a jolt. My face was smeared on the glass of the window, and I could see familiar streets outside. The bus was full of life, an old couple in the middle of a conversation, a father shushing a crying baby, a small poodle sniffing at the air.

I realizes with a start that we were nearing my station, so I got up quickly and made it to the doors just in time for them to open. As I looked back at the bus, now driving away from me, I could clearly see the familiar hand of a girl waving me goodbye.

[umichenginabroad]

Week 4: Prague!

Well, over the weekend, we went to Prague! We were traveling to celebrate one of my friends' birthdays. We had 14 people with us, which is the biggest group trip that we had ever done and everyone was very excited for a weekend in Prague. It was my first time in Prague, so I didn’t know quite what to expect, but was excited nonetheless. We took a 4 hour bus ride over to Prague and before I knew it, we had arrived. 

We arrived in Prague earlier than we expected, at around 10:00 or so local time, and headed over to our Airbnb. We discussed sleeping orientation, dropped off our stuff and got ready. You may be asking yourself, what are these mad bunch of Americans (plus one Canadian) headed off to do now? Well, we decided that sleep is for suckers, and that since we would only be in Prague for about 72 hours, we were gonna make the most out of it. So while the night was still young, at around 12:30 am, we headed out for a fun night. Seeing as how there was a world-famous DJ in town, we decided that it might be a good idea to attend her show. For the entire time, we were bopping our heads to the music, dancing the night away and just having the best time ever. We ended up finishing at around 4 am, and went to sleep. That concludes day 1.

On day 2, we got up bright and early, at least I did, at around 8:30. We then spent the next hour and a half getting ready for the day. At around 10:00, we finally headed out to explore the city during the day time. The first place that we hit up were the Jewish sectors of the city and their beautiful synagogues. We also made sure to take plenty of pictures of the traditional Czech architecture surrounding us. It basically looked like what I dream my Minecraft world could look like. From there, we made our way across the bridge across the Vltava river to the other side of Prague. There we could see the beautiful Prague Castle at the top of a hill as well as many other scenic views. However, the real breathtaking view was when we looked back across the river and could see the city in its entirety. For as far as our eyes could see, it was just purely red roofs and classical buildings. 

The majority of the rest of the day was spent in the Prague castle, where we got to tour Cathedrals that were hundreds of years old, as well as other historical landmarks regarding historical Czech clans. We got to walk around some of their historical streets, getting to see what life was really like in the Castle, and visit other parts of the castle, such as their prison yard. 

After the castle, our group decided just to walk around and hit up whatever we saw along the way. At around 5:30, our group decided to split off as many of us were tired due to a lack of sleep and wanted to go back and take a nap. I was among one of these people. However, due to two people who will remain nameless, I was evicted of my right to go take a nap. These two dragged me around for over an hour on their little shopping spree, dragging me along like two big sisters do to their younger brother at the shopping mall. We couldn’t walk 1 minute without one of them going “Ooooooo wooooow, that’s so cute”, or “Ooooh wow, let’s go in there”. Anyways, regardless of the circumstances, we still all had a great time and I even got myself a nice shirt, so I guess it worked out in the end. 

We had made reservations at around 8:45 for a nice birthday dinner. We had all agreed for everyone to dress nice and everyone definitely delivered. Everyone was dressed super nicely and we all had a great time and enjoyed the delicious birthday meal. And of course we remembered to sing for the birthday girl. With that being said, Happy Birthday Marley!

That night, we decided to hit up another show, this time in the heart of Prague. This place featured some of the best DJ’s, and my personal favorite music. They played a bunch of songs that I had long loved, but had hardly ever heard in public. For example, they played songs like “Dragostea Din Tei”, by O-zone (otherwise better known as the Numa Numa song), as well as other favorites such as Fifa 14’s classic theme song “Love Me Again” by John Newman and “Astronomia” by  Tony Igy and Vicetone (otherwise known as the Coffin Dance song). Even though I suffered some minor hearing loss, it was well worth it as I had some of the most fun that I have had that night. With that crazy night over, it is time to go on to the final day. 

Our bus back to Berlin left at around 6:00 pm. We checked out of our Airbnb at around 11:00, and we spent the rest of the day visiting the local parks, and walking around some more around the river bank as well as other parts in the city that we didn’t get a chance to explore yet. When the time came, we boarded the bus and departed for Berlin.

We had an absolute blast in Prague, and I would do anything just to experience those 3 days again. I am so thankful to have spent it with the people that I did and can say that it was objectively the most fun that I had ever had in Prague. 

Dervin Tian

Data Science

IPE: Engineering Laboratory Experience at TUB in Berlin

[gallivantingheart]

Me, a Princess? Shut Up!

masterlist | previous |

⏮️ chapter 13: amaide ⏭️

who?: jihoon/woozi x (f)reader

word count: 2670

genre/s: fluff, humour, social media!au

warnings: some course language

synopsis: Life’s pretty good for y/n. Easy, even. Until someone claiming to be her grandmother says she is the queen of a small island country - and y/n, a princess.

a/n: THIS IS IT! THE END IS NIGH. He’s a long one, that’s for sure. Thank you for anyone who has stuck through and tolerated every drawn out update - I appreciate it very much and hope you enjoyed it anyway xx

**please ignore the timestamps - they are not accurate**

TAGLIST: @strykiss, @karrotkarrotkarrot, @3sriracha, @minkwans, @annakemi, @chaseyui, @noniesgirl, @gyubagebin @kookiedesi​ @binniebutter​ @wonwooslibrary​​

You sit at the train station, the rain bucketing and splashing your legs. You can barely stand to check your phone.  Already, you can see the headlines: Princess To-Be Disappointing No-Show. That and the tens of voicemails probably piling up in your message bank. The disapproving hum of your mother, the squealing worry of Mingyu and Minghao. Soonyoung’s barely restrained desperation mixed with understanding only he could have. The guilt churns thick and slow in your stomach, a monster ready to rear its ugly head. But, amongst all that and your blurring tears, you find one you don't expect. Jihoon.

Your finger slips on a raindrop as you tap it.

“Hey. Uh, look. Whatever you're feeling and whatever you decide, it'll be okay. We'll still be here for you at the end of the day. But please, come home. We're all worried. Your grandmother is still waiting for you at the embassy. Everyone is. But, I'll be at home - uh, my place if you need me. Please, just be safe.”

There's another one, from an unknown number.

“Y/n,” your grandmother. “I know you're scared. I'm sorry if you ever felt like I was pushing you into this. So much has been riding on your shoulders, all so soon. And looking back, we should have waited. I should have waited. As much as I may not have looked it, I always cared. You’re family, our legacy. I'll still love you, whatever choice you make.  You could never disappoint me - anyone. I love you.”

That's all you needed. Mingyu's attempt at motivation could fall flat, Minghao terrible with your specific type of sympathy. Even Soonyoung’s familiar reassurance or anything your parents could ever say wouldn't sink in. They were all you wanted to hear. Grabbing your bag, you take off running, back to the bus stop back into the city. You might never make it. But you'll give it a damn shot. Violently struggling to tap on your transport pass, you slump into a window seat by the front, sighing in relief as it begins to putter away.

The scenery gets gradually slower and drivers’ thick brows furrow. You sit up wearily as we splutter to a stop, the air brakes whooshing anyway.

“W-why are we stopping?”

He turns to the few of us seated. “We've broken down. Probably the oil or something. I’ve called the depot and we’ll have a replacement shortly. Just sit tight.”

“We - what?” you squeak, getting up into the aisle. “No, no no no! I've got to be at the Amaide embassy! I have a ball to go to!”

He shrugs, opening the doors to let air in. “Sorry, Cinderella.”

You climb out the vehicle, out into the rain again. The road is straight and relatively unmarred. You'll have to run. Shouldering your bag oddly, slinging both straps of the duffle over each shoulder you start to sprint.

It's a bad, short lived sprint. Why you don’t think of a taxi is beyond you.

Your chest is heaving with pain, and so are your legs, crying out for relief. You look to the sky, unforgiving and heavy. You throw your side into a wall as you drag yourself along the footpath. You'll never make it.

“Oh - my - god. This is - how I die. Dead in a - in a puddle.” You sniffle through heaving breaths.

Leaving against the wall, you try holding back another sniffle before giving up, rubbing at your cold, running nose instead.

A car honks. Dropping your head down, you see the official envoy pull up, the door kicking open and the drivers’ window roll down. Junwoo and...Jihoon?

“Come on, princess. You're late!” the bulky man calls with a smirk.

You push off, throwing yourself into the leather seats. Jihoon is across from you, sitting neatly in his simple black suit. God, he looks good in it.

“Thank you for finding me.” You smile.

“Well, after that text and then you didn't show up, something had to have gone wrong. And Junwoo was going out to look for you anyway. Queen's orders.”

You sink into your seat as he passes you a towel. “Gotta love Grandmother.”

“She wasn't giving up on you too soon.” The stocky guard in front says through the open partition. You catch his smile in the rear view mirror. “Especially when Jihoon showed up.”

You pat your arms down and rub furiously at your hair. The cold is only just starting to sink in, wetting the leather under you and sending a shiver through your torso. Jihoon sighs and tosses another fluffy towel over your legs. You slide side to side on the seat a little as Junwoo zips through town while trying to be reasonable.

“Oh well, I'll definitely be making an entrance. Not the prettiest thing to ever get out of an Amaide envoy. Certainly not very princess-like.” You chuckle, throwing the first towel helplessly round your shoulders.

Jihoon’s gaze is warm on you, for once resting for more than a few moments in your direction. His pitch black hair is rustled from the gale that the rain brought with it.

“You're always beautiful, Princess.” He hums.

You laugh breathlessly, ducking your head. He was always so soft-spoken but never failed to make you at least a little flustered.

“How come you were ready so soon?” You squint at Jihoon.

“I was ready even before you messaged me. Call it intuition, but I had a feeling I’d end up here tonight, whether you knew it or not.”

The embassy houses are starting to pop up and you know you're close, even though the rain hasn't let up. You would never have made it in time with your ridiculous idea.

Junwoo pulls up an umbrella and the lot of you usher yourselves inside. Jihoon is swept away in the backstage madness, with not even a chance of goodbye. Soonhee is standing in her soft champagne dress, sash in red over her shoulder and across her middle. She smiles warmly and you don't care how much her dress costs for once as you barrel into her. She makes a soft grunt with the force but delicately wraps her arms around you.

“Thank you for not giving up on me. Sorry I'm late.” You mumble into her shoulder.

“Of course. You're a Park at heart. You're strong enough to make the right decision. It may not have been easy or kind and it might have taken a little while, but you're here.” She says haughtily. “Now, I’ve stalled for as long as I can but that means you're going to have to go out there as you are. There's no time left.”

How did everyone but yourself know you were gonna be here? 

You pull back to look at her with furrowed brows. “Are you sure you can't do any more? I don't want to go out like this for you or Amaide.”

Soonhee shakes her head. “I'm sorry. But, I think this will do. It’s...how do you say, authentic. I am glad and incredibly proud that my people will be in your hands.”

Soonyoung has wormed his way back behind the heavy velvet curtain. He giggles at the sight of you.

“Hey Boss! Bit late?”

“Just a little. Weather is vicious.” You shrug.

He slings an arm around you, rubbing fondly at your hair under the towel. “Say what you feel. It’ll come out right. See you after.”

You swallow and nod. Soonyoung gathers the queen up with Junwoo and they both exit down a short hall to the main ballroom. You sling the towel round your neck for later. Someone would announce you when you were ready. And you had to be ready now. You glance to an attendant to your left and nod resolute, heaving a calming breath.

You hear your name and the curtain pulling away to warm bright lights and a podium ornately carved with lemon tree motifs - you know, you watched them pull it out from storage. There’s the violent, sickening shutter of cameras but you hold firm, plastering on a nervous smile, your towel slung round your shoulders.

Your grip is tight on the wood as you lean into the mic. “Hello. Good evening. I apologise for the wait - the weather is a bit horrendous.” A smattering of laughter from press and guests. The lights aren’t blinding but you’re trying not to focus on the many faces on you. “Thank you for attending tonight. Amaide’s freedom and independence has always been our pride. But, I understand if that’s not really why you’re here. And that sort of sucks. Because our country and our people should not boil down to the latest tabloid gossip. We have a thriving tourism and agriculture sector and are one of the few modern societies with a very active and well-functioning monarchy - and a matriarchal one at that. We should be celebrating its freedom and everything that makes it what it is. But, I digress.

“As of half an hour ago I was sitting at a train station in the pouring rain, running away from all of this. And think about it, three months ago, I didn’t even know about this world. And I didn’t think I was ever going to be ready. You’ve all seen my face more in these last few months than anyone ever has all my life. These events have turned the lives of myself and everyone I care about upside down. They have borne this mess none of us ever asked for. I love them all so much that I didn’t want to ruin my home.

“But - oh but. Amaide is home for millions of people. And it could be my home too. I mean, you all just heard me wax poetic about a place I’ve never been. But, it is part of who I am. Who I am going to be. I would never dream of hurting it. I’m so desperate to take care of my home, always have been.

“So with that in mind, I make my claim as Princess and heir apparent to Amaide’s throne - to the future.”

You smile and the delegates make raucous applause. Camera shutter click and flash but you hold steady. You have claimed your birthright. Now it's time to make the right impression for once.

You tip your head. “Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d love to dry off a bit before I catch the flu! Please, enjoy your evening.”

You’re ushered off to the side stage then around the back to servants quarters. Antoni is violently brandishing a round brush and Dyson Air Wrap like a club.

“Where is the Princess! Chop chop!” He cries out.

Massive, calloused hands are firmly on your shoulder blades and shove you into his direction - damn Junwoo, enjoyed any pain that you endured. His eyes light up then he goes pasty.

“This? This is my canvas? Ey, I have my work cut out, huh?” He shoots you a look. “Always the hard road, hmm Princess? Come come, we fix.”

You are whirled up the staircase where Antoni makes quick work of you. The gown fits perfectly, all those fittings paying off in the speedy transformation. Antoni knows what he’s doing, determined as he works around you, drying your hair out for some more control.

“I try to keep you a little natural - we want a good, open impression of you, Princess. Looks can be everything, huh?”

Your hair draped behind your ears and up off your neck in twists and layers where you didn’t know where your hair began and ended. A glittering hair comb, part of the private collection, just like the heavy set necklace that rested against your collarbone, dazzling and weighty. Antoni claps his hands, triumphant. “You are done - beautiful! My work is perfect! Come, the queen will give tiara.”

The embassy is no longer daunting, the staircase not a passage to doom. You turn to Antoni and tip your head.

“Thank you, for your help tonight.”

He scoffs and waves you off. “Is honour, Princess. I must go and ready myself for the people. They will all want to know who dressed the future queen of Amaide.”

You laugh as he whirls back out the way he came and you look to the attendant again, motion to call.

“Announcing Princess Y/N, of Amaide.”

The red curtains part and you step back into the light.

The queen holds a sparkling tiara, the most stunning thing you’d ever seen. This, you hadn't organised. Your grandmother was quite secretive about this part, insisting it was something she must do alone.

She raises it and you tip your head down so that she could place it on your head. “This was my first tiara, also gifted by my grandmother at my coming out ball. I was not meant to be queen. Neither were you. Now look at where we are. Now you must shine.”

A round of applause and your sight falls on your mother's eyes glassy and red as she smiles, her applause one of the few that mattered at that moment.

When you step to the main floor, you are swarmed by diplomats and the like with congratulations. Soonyoung is by your side in a heartbeat to mitigate them as quickly as possible, while turning the lights on even more and the strings rising in. A lot of greetings and thank you’s and “look forward to discussing the topic of choice with you at a later date.”

Then, as soon as you’d finished, the people fell away and you spot Jihoon by a pillar, close to the string orchestra. Of course he was where the music was.

I sidle up next to him, watching the orchestra. “Evening.”

He glances at you and smiles. “Evening, Princess.”

“How’s your night been?”

“I did meet the conductor here. Got some tips, had a chat. I can keep myself busy.”

You mock frown. “That’s the conductor of Amaide’s Philharmonic Orchestra, you know - the queen pulled out all the stops. But, I had sort of hoped you would be at least a little bit bored. What am I supposed to do to top that for someone like you?”

“Not sure. Maybe become princess?” Jihoon smirks.

“You’re annoying. Lee Jihoon, will you do me the honour of being my first dance partner?” You pout up at him a little, clasping your hands in your lap. “I saved it for you. Even over my own parents!”

“Of course. How can I deny that?”

He guides you gently out to the mosaic floor, settling you in front of him. In your time training and with Jihoon as a music major, you yourself have come to appreciate the string set playing tonight - you might not know the song, but it’s very beautiful and fits the energy of the room. He starts with a simple, not very royal, sway. With your meticulously manicured hands slung up round his neck, you let the fact that this is your first dance as princess, in public, cameras shuttering only metres away fall to the back of your mind. You’re happy that this moment would be one of the first pictures for the news outlets. You wanted it documented.

“Are you sure you’re okay with a princess as a potential girlfriend? We’re very prim and proper and not very fun. We certainly shouldn’t be going out for fried chicken and drinks on a weekly basis.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’m sure you can make an exception.”

“For you?” You quirk a brow.

Jihoon gives you an unimpressed look. “Yeah, I guess for me.”

“Well, of course then!” You laugh. “Anything for you!”

And after all this, you really mean it. He grits his teeth and grins, tightening his grip on you and giving you a forceful spin that has you cackling. Jihoon doesn’t even get tangled in your dress!

“I didn’t know you could dance.” You chirp.

“I’m a music major. I’ve got rhythm.”

“Shut up.”

final notes: well, here we are. the end of an excessively drawn out two...three? year journey. i hoped you enjoyed it as much as i did. and i certainly hope i did justice any sort of expectation you may have had walking into this. thank you so much for all the support, i promise it did not go amiss! who knows? maybe i might pull a “princess diaries 2: the royal engagement” just to be funky...

[suomeen]

Chapter 3: The Longest Journey

We departed on December 20. Took the bus at 2 pm and went through 3 of Ukraine’s major cities to pick up other passengers and head for Poland. The trip started out well but soon things began to go south. The bus itself was alright. However, the site boasted outlets for your devices and free wi-fi. Which is true technically. Except the outlets were the type basically nobody uses in Europe and the wi-fi… there was a whole of 250 MB, all for the taking for your 16-hour ride. The seats were fine but the human body is not really made to sit in one place for so long. My knees were soon hurting and I barely had any sleep.

The trip itself was a bit of a mess too. Flixbus clearly doesn’t want to pay for extra buses for emergency situations so when another one of their buses broke, our driver had to pick up its passengers. Then another company’s bus broke and we took some of its passengers too. Sitting in a bus for hours is bad enough, but at least we weren’t the ones standing in the aisle, wet from the rain. We felt sorry for those people but it was very frustrating for everyone. This incident set us back a few hours. Then there was the border crossing.

Poland was startlingly unwelcoming. I didn’t expect much. I knew we were way past the “Poland is our best buddy” early war honeymoon illusions but this encounter still took me by surprise. We arrived at about 5 am but had to wait for a few hours in a line of other buses before finally proceeding to the border control. At first, they had the few men on the bus go there, making sure they had the right to leave the country. Then it was the rest of us. There were about 5 Poles at the checkpoint and they were not happy to see us. I honestly don’t know what our people did in these 2 years that they hated us so much. First a blond middle-aged woman came up to the bus and began to shout at us in Polish to get out in groups. I understood most of it, but I shouldn’t be expected to. Then we went to show our documents to a few dudes in booths who asked us where we were going and why. After that, a tall handsome young man began to rummage in some people’s bags. He took his time dismantling one woman’s bag, which mostly contained children’s clothes. Her little son, about 3, wanted to help and I don’t like children much, but he was adorable and made all of us passengers smile. Not the Poles though, they didn’t budge. None of them spoke Ukrainian or Russian, or maybe didn’t want to. I wonder who pissed them off so much. We were tired and stressed out as it was and this felt like we were some sort of criminals, not women and children fleeing from a war.

I managed to book a trip directly to the Warsaw airport so, despite the delay, we still had 2 hours to get on the plane. I was just glad we took a plane because 16 hours on a bus wrecked me and I can’t imagine 40, which is what most other people had to endure. We got the world’s most expensive coffees and muffins and took off. The flight was delayed but only by about 10 minutes so it was fine. The Finair plane was kinda small but the flight was very smooth. The weather was rainy but up there, above the clouds, the sun shone brightly and I felt my heart healed a little.

Finland greeted us with blinding whiteness and I felt a strange comfort when we finally arrived. But there was still a good chunk of road ahead.

Normally, most people in our situation would just go to Helsinki and apply for asylum at the closest police department. But this way you get assigned to any place in the country they see fit. Our plan was different. Since we had a friend there and we wanted to be close to her, we were to go to the large city nearest to her and apply there. She even asked at the reception centre and was told they would be expecting us and we would probably get an apartment that was prepared for moving in.

So first, we had to take a city train to get to Tikkurila. Then we had to take the intercity train to a city where we would later be living. But instead of going there, we were to stay at our friend’s so we then had to take another train that got us closer to her where she could pick us up.

I had no internet connection of my own and got to rely on whatever hubs were available. There were none at the station and I was getting a bit panicky that I would miss the train. I had to bother a few Finns for directions, the first of many. They were very friendly and tried to help the best they could. As I got into the train, I had trouble opening my ticket on the ancient tablet I had but the conductor was nice and patient with me and let me take my time as he went on to check the tickets of other passengers.

The intercity train was great. Fast and smooth, it was the best part of the trip. The cars were clean and comfortable. Everything was designed to make the trip enjoyable for everyone. The Finns looked relaxed and many took off their shoes for the ride and stretched their legs languishly.

We also found ourselves in the children car. The idea of such a car would probably sound a little annoying to me, but I was happy to be there. There were many parents with small children and a part of the space was free of seats with some stuff for them to play in. Small kids were running around back and forth in the aisle. Some fell a few times but nobody seemed to worry, kids or parents. They just got up and continued on their way. I sat next to a Finnish mother with a tiny baby. I don’t care about babies that much but I couldn’t stop looking at her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so gentle and tender and loving as she was with her child. The whole car had such a soothing atmosphere of peace and joy. It later turned out that we took the wrong car and when the rightful owners of these seats came, we had to move to another. But I’m glad we made that mistake so I could experience this.

This train was also slightly late. Not by much, but enough that we were risking to miss the transfer. I’m glad I decided to seek help from the lovely young woman staff, so we just barely made it to our final train, which was a small local train, far less glamorous. After bothering some more Finns, we finally got help from a nice older man and made sure we were going the right way. After another 40 minutes, we finally stepped off the train and into the dark, immediately greeted by our friend and her husband.

It wasn’t the longest trip of my life but it sure felt like it and was certainly the most intense and nerve-wrecking. Honestly, I don’t even know how I survived the journey, let alone got it all right, though a lot of it was thanks to the lovely Finnish people.

We did not immediately go to their place. First, we went to the nearby building to have our photos taken for the police. Your document photos never look good but having them taken after a 28-hour journey makes them extra ugly. Though I suppose fitting for a refugee application. Finally, after a short drive, we arrived at the house we would spend the next week at.

[blurban-form]

Motornormativity (4/4)

Conclusion: “…and why should I care?”

Ok, so why is this even a thing?

Anyone active in urban planning or transportation planning / civil engineering will be very familiar with the lively discussions taking place about changing the paradigm re: transportation… that we can’t keep building more roads to solve congestion issues and that our cities need to be more compact, to make them more sustainable by using less energy.

(There are multiple benefits to a less auto-oriented culture, but energy use reductions and sustainability are a big one.)

Cities cannot reasonably expect their residents make the necessary changes unless the alternatives are seen as viable options. This is going to remain a challenge until the infrastructure for these modes is available (like sidewalks and bike lanes) and there will always be trade-offs; transit today is routinely at least going to take 2x or more time to make a trip compared to a car.

There also need to be inviting places to walk, bike, ride transit, and socialize.

Like other cities similar to it, Brisbane has some of the necessary elements to be less auto-oriented… but is still very much auto-oriented.

Note that not all cities are stuck in this situation. Over the last fifty years, Copenhagen has made a shift towards active transportation, and Curitiba is an example of a city that changed to make heavy use of bus rapid transit. But in Copenhagen’s case, this has meant taxes and fees to dissuade people from driving. And Curitiba is maxing out its BRT capacity.

As long as people still believe that they have no choice but to drive, people will not change their habits. Providing more transport choices and raising awareness about those modes will be key. “Bluey” has actually made some efforts to do this, perhaps without even intending to do so!

It may be a sweeping statement but people all tend to take for granted what we've grown up with. What happens in “Bluey” episodes will seem familiar to anyone who’s about the same age as “Bluey” and Bingo’s parents. Incorporating ideas into these stories that make alternatives to driving “ok” and “not unusual” helps encourage children and their families to consider such options seriously, particularly given that many people seem open to emulating the Heeler’s parenting styles / “taking advice from a dog” 😉

Feel free to send me your thoughts on this. -Dave

Some further reading

Newman, Bartley, Boyer. Resilient Cities: Responding to Peak Oil and Climate Change. Island Press, 2009.

Kunstler. The Long Emergency. Grove Books, 2006.

[darlenealive]

Back from my Scandi vacation!

Felt like I took it for granted leaving my brain back in SG and letting Ax do the planning and the navigating. I brought my spirits though! Spending my day off today looking back at the trip which was such a great use of my time. Really appreciating this extra day off after my vacation.

Some tips for Norway and Denmark travels first

1. It's cashless even in the small towns. Cash was more of a liability as it forced us to spend it all

2. Hotels cost as much as Airbnb for 2 pax so opt for hotels as there's guaranteed shampoo, soap, hair dryer, heating and laundry. Most of our airbnbs were missing soap or shampoo which we didn't bring any of, in order to travel lighter. The bnbs we stayed in were also commercialised houses so there's absolutely no feelings attached. Checking in and out would also be more convenient with hotels. We had to return one of our keys from a convenience store which wasn't open in the early morning, in time for our flight.

3. Groceries are marked down on Friday if they expire Monday. If you're in Norway, go to Kiwi or Coop for basic groceries as it seemed to be the cheapest. However, each shop will hv their own discounts (not standardised across the same chain). Eg. We went to a place with 40% discounts on Freia choc which was only available at a particular store.

4. Northern lights chase was the coldest we experienced. Basically, the guide said that if its frost on the floor, it's worse than snow as there's no insulation for your feet. Not the coldest real temperature but coldest we felt. Bring extra clothes and heatpack just in case. The bonfire didn't do anything for me because it's too cold. We went with GuideGunnar which updates its aurora sightings on a daily basis. These guys are crazy and would bring you as far as Sweden just to chase the lights so bring your passports along! They also offer a 50% off the next trip if you don't see it on the day.

5. There's no heat packs there so bring them from home.

6. In Copenhagen, we recommend the Copenhagen card. It's only 65USD for 24hrs and you get free transport, museum pass and boat rides. We only decided to get the card after our boat ride which cost about SGD25-30, which was already a quarter the cost of the card. In Copenhagen, checking of bus tickets was a regular thing.

7. Useful apps for riding public transport: Oslo uses Ruter, Tromsø uses Troms billet, Copenhagen uses Dot tickets. Ticket checking was not very often in Norway. We did not cycle as it felt too cold for more wind to hit our faces.

8. Skip Oslo if you dw to visit a city. We spent 3 nights there and it felt too long. We wanted to do our last minute shopping at Oslo but everything was expensive throughout the whole trip that we started to buy souvenirs earlier when we saw marked down prices. With one more day in Tromsø, we could've gone whale watching.

9. Take into account daylight savings from 29/10. You have 1 more extra hour to sleep but your days are much shorter. We slept a lot because of the cold, about 10hrs of sleep each day and it felt just right.

10. Personally I would have brought instant noodles as the food there isn't flavoured with the same umami as I'm used to. I would also bring a thermal flask there to enjoy my hikes even more, taking a comfortable and warm rest at the peak.

11. If driving, please remember to pay for parking. There's usually a machine to start your parking. Otherwise, the fine is 660NOK. Don't let the rental company settle it as it'll still be billed to you with an extra fee. We would also recommend full insurance since we aren't used to left hand driving and Norway is famous for its narrow roads (at least from Stavanger to Odda where we drove).

12. We used waze for driving and it seemed that speed cameras are only in tunnels but nobody was following the speed limit anyway.

That's about all of the suggestions Ax and I thought of!

Hope these suggestions come in useful for someone.

[karagin22]

You know you've been gone too long if…

When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"

When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus

Every woman that reports to your unit starts looking attractive

Every guy that reports to your unit starts looking attractive

You actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet

You start picturing your wife in traditional Arab dress

When you go to the bathroom at night you bring your gun, flashlight, and toliet paper with you. be prepared to walk at least 1 mile.

When you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "The Olive Garden."

The contractors have more fire power than the military combat units. (This is true)

You take the time to add your lines to this list

You've spent $200 dollars at Haji mart on DVDs buying Basic Instinct, 9 and weeks, and Body of Evidence just for the sex scenes

You drink the water from the tap because you want to drop 20 pounds in two weeks

Driving around in SUVs with weapons pointed out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems very normal to you

You can put your body armor and helmet on in the dark in under 5 seconds

When the organization you work for has changed its name more than 3 times

When you actually spend more time writing e-mail about the dog in the compound versus doing real work.

When you actually get excited to get a package that contains 3 pair of socks, 12 bars of soap and a Victoria Secret Catalog

you get pissed off because you don't need any fucking more baby wips.

When you start to enjoy the rocking of the trailer every time the MEDEVAC choppers fly over

You memorized every episode from the 4th Season of Sex in the City, sopranos, simpsons, and anthing else on dvd.

You see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow the colors are so pretty" and want to fire back

Your thinking of buying real estate in the green zone

Your idea of sex is 20 minutes of Instant Messaging with your wife on the computer, OK, 10 minutes, who are you kidding?

You wake up and think Baghdad, I am still in friggin Baghdad

You make the new guy show you his count down timer on the computer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country

You're in the Army and you start saying Ooorah

You're in the Marines and you start saying Hooah

You're in the Navy and you realize you are in the middle of the desert, the exact opposite of being in the middle of the ocean, where one might normally find the Navy.

You're in the Air Force, and you're on the plane home laughing at everyone else because a tour only lasts 4 to 6 months. So long fuckers!!!!!!!

You plan on removing all trees and grass in your yard when you get home so it will look more natural

The temp drops down to 102 degrees and you shiver while reaching for your Gortex jacket

When you call home and your kids ask "Who is this?"

You call home and your wife says hello Bill (your name is Sam)

when you get home you still brush your teeth with bottled water.

While on R&R, you look out the window and find Nature, which leads you to wonder who stole your sandbags.

When some of the contractors wear their DCUs (Desert pattern camouflage uniform) more properly than some of your soldiers.

When 12 hours is a short work day

You go Battle Captains!

When, During the BUA, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs (and you know what this means)

When you start using words like G'day mate, Cheers, and Bloody hell as part of your normal vocabulary

When you have your opinions printed in the STARS and STRIPES more than 3 times

When you step into any office and there are 6 colonels, 12 lieutenant colonels, 15 majors, 8 captains, and 14 first- and second-lieutenants supervising the work of 3 staff sergeants

When you're ordered to get a mission together on short notice because it's a "Hot priority" only to have the Major call back once he is in the air to ask "Does anyone know where I am going?"

When the weapon buyback program has become so successful that you have issued the same AK-47 to the Iraqi army 3 times

When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar

When on R & R you tell your wife that your weapon status is Red and your looking for the clearing barrel

When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service

You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed

You yell at the FNG for shouting incoming when the rounds don't impact close enough to hit your tent with dirt

You know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit by celebratory fire

You decide for that for shits and grins - lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper

You never worry about oversleeping because if the morning call to prayers doesn't wake you, the daily 0430 mortar attack will (most mornings)

The highlight of your shopping experience at the BX/PX is to see that they got in a new shipment of Schick Tracer razor blades

When you send out your laundry and your whites become grayer, your blacks become grayer and your DCU's become grayer - makes it easier to sort loads…

You get offended by people wearing clean, pressed DCU's

You decide that it is a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during a mortar attack - the woobee will save you and at least you are comfortable

You make a contest out of seeing who can wear their uniform for more days before becoming entirely disgusted with themselves

You wonder if the fish served at dinner really was carp caught out of the Tigris or Camp Victory's lake

You find it completely acceptable to pick your nose while talking to a complete stranger or member of the opposite sex

A rocket or a mortar really isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine

You go to a social gathering and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation

you actually start to think " I wonder what's on afn tonight"

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN TO THE LIST*

[citizenhullabaloo]

The Top 5 WORST Music Venues to Travel to (in the NYC/Tri-State area)

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience since I started going to local and big shows nearly 11 years ago. This is also focused in the tri-state area surrounding New York City.

Welcome to the first edition of The Top 5 Worst Music Venues to travel to in NYC/Tri-state area. This is *MY* personal list, so please comment/email me any other ones you’ve visited if you haven’t been to any of these. The first two are basically scraping the bottom of the barrel. I’m sure I have better stories, but this is what I was able to think of at the top of my head.

#5 – Revolution Bar and Music Hall – Amityville, Long Island (Permanently Closed)

From seeing acts like Symfinity and EXM to big names like Doro and Gemini Syndrome, it was always a good time to visit this venue. The walk sucked at night though. I’m from the city, and it was too quiet for my tastes. Formerly located at 140 Merrick Rd in Amityville, it was about an hour and a half taking public transportation to this venue. It’s last on the list because I did manage to go here a bunch of times, so I was used to the trek.

#4 – Ram’s American Pub – Holbrook, Long Island (Permanently Closed)

Sad to hear this place closed (presumably because of the pandemic), but I managed to visit here once, to see my friends Bending Over Backwards play. Formerly located at 236 Union Ave in Holbrook (and getting off at Ronkonkoma LIRR Station), it’s genuinely not that bad to get to. Still, it’s nearly a two hour public transportation ride, and then walking on the edge of the non-existent sidewalk (thanks Suffolk County!), before reaching the bar. It wasn’t that bad of a walk, like I mentioned, but it’s a bit annoying when all that construction at the time, surrounding the station and road, made it longer than it needed to be. Since it’s closed now, I can’t return to give you a better score sadly 😦

#3 – The Paramount – Huntington, Long Island

I’ve seen my favorite bands play here: The Dead Deads, Silversun Pickups… It’s a great venue and one that I wish I wouldn’t have hated its location. Why the hell is it a 30+ minute walk from Huntington Station to the ACTUAL town of Huntington? Why is the central area of the location, FAR from public transportation?!?!?! The amount of times I dragged my feet through New York Ave (symbolically ironic?)… I got fed up with it from the first time I ever went to this venue. It’s already about an hour to get to the place, and now I have to waste MORE time getting to the actual venue? What a tragedy. Just move the f**king town SOUTH!!!! Be like Westbury and The Space at Westbury!!!!! Located at 370 New York Ave in Huntington.

#2 – The Chance Theater – Poughkeepsie, New York (Permanently Closed)

This one and The Paramount were a close second, but I opted to put this higher because it’s outside of the New York City area. If I’m stranded in Long Island, I know the train systems enough to get back home, or I have friends out here. Poughkeepsie and anywhere equivalent is No-Man’s Land. It’s a 2 hour Metro-North train ride, with walking through the city streets, passing through abandoned buildings just to get to the venue. If that wasn’t scary enough, I never attempted heading home back the same way – I was lucky enough to be driven back, or at least dropped off way closer to a southern station that seemed more human. It sucks that the Chance closed. I got to see Proxima Control, EXM, and a bunch of other local bands that don’t exist or I haven’t heard from in a while. I was lucky enough to fill in for bass at the Loft area of the venue! Now that it’s closed, I see no reason to ever visit Poughkeepsie ever again sadly. Located at 6 Crannell St in Poughkeepsie.

#1 – Northwell at Jones Beach Theater - Wantagh, Long Island

The year was 2017. I wanted to see Silversun Pickups at Jones Beach, so I took the LIRR to Freeport, and attempted to catch a bus, which apparently wasn’t running. I split a cab with a guy and two ladies (the guy ended up dancing with the band during the set), and arrived to the venue. I enjoyed my show and didn’t want to stay for the headliner, Third Eye Blind. I walked across the parking lot, under a DESOLATE tunnel, and closer to the beach, where the bus stop was. I waited 2 hours. The police was nearby and came to me asking what was I waiting for. There was no bus they said. I walked BACK to the venue. Everyone had just gotten out of the show, and I had to split a taxi with EXTREMELY drunk obnoxious girls (who made fun of the cab driver for being south Asian, by the way). All in all, regardless of that experience of good and bad — Jones Beach is BY FAR, the WORST venue to get to. It’s MANDATORY to drive, unless you can magically catch the bus that apparently doesn’t run after 5pm or so. If you take public transportation like I do, you have to pay for a taxi, to and from. Lyft and Uber services didn’t work for me that year because it was “illegal” to serve Nassau and Suffolk counties (maybe they do now but I remember hearing that was the reason why 5 drivers skipped me), but I refuse to see any show at the venue if I don’t have a car ride. I wasted more money traveling to and from the show, than an actual f**king TICKET to the show. My solution? A dedicated bus/tram that drives from the two nearby LIRR stations and you pay the equivalent of a LIRR fare (the distance I mean). Because that distance from the LIRR train to the venue is IMPOSSIBLE to walk. Like, literally, there’s no sidewalks, only highway and marshes. Located at 895 Bay Pkwy in Wantagh, Long Island.

And so, to conclude…

What are your worst venues to travel to? While writing this, I just thought of another few, but I’ll save that for another edition 🙂

[photosbyjabo]

A day in Paris

I cannot deny that Paris has always held a certain charm for me even when I was younger. The Eiffel Tower and its charming streets that I can only dream of but now I can proudly say that I've walked its avenues and streets myself. This was the first country me and my partner have been on a trip outside of the UK together and we were definitely chuffed. France will be the first part of our little Western Europe road trip. We didn't have anything planned because technically we're only spending one night and one day here so there wasn't much pressure on sticking to any itinerary or schedule.

I think I was a little bit overwhelmed the moment we landed so I didn't take as much photos as I would have wanted. I do remember the long drive from Charles de Gaulle airport to our hotel. The views outside our taxi ride were definitely wasn't what I hoped and expected - all the graffiti and the plainness of it all. But all that changed when we got closer and closer to the centre of the city. We booked this lovely, boutique hotel (Hotel Henriette, at the 13th arrondissement) with a small but sufficient room.

Not much to see outside from our window. Just the facade of another building. It was already 8pm when we settled in our room and then we decided to go to this burger place, which was a quick walk from the hotel. Afterwards, we went straight to see the Eiffel Tower. We took the Metro and a bus ride to get there. The Metro does have its own charm compared to the Tube. My impression was it looked and felt older but somehow not as suffocating as compared to some of the underground trains in London. Although, the doors were a bit more tricky definitely. Nearly got lost, but we made it to our destination in the end. One cannot miss its charming and inviting lights for sure. We were so excited that we didn't mind the troubles we went through just to see it up close. I still cannot believe how close we were to this amazing structure. So much history indeed. It's amazing isn't it. How can we be so bewitched from a frankly, metallic structure, I just don't know. Perhaps it's all those years of seeing it in the movies. And also perhaps from someone who's lived his whole life in the other side of the world. Getting here was so special for me. Undeniably magnificent up close. Nearly as special to the moment I came out of the Underground and saw the Big Ben for the first time.

We ended up staying there until midnight to see the lights start twinkling on its entirety. I also remember our commute back to the hotel and of how it made us feel a little bit uneasy, especially the moment we stepped out of the station closest to the hotel. We were after all in a city that we're unfamiliar with. Plus, it was already nearly 2 in the morning and we were so exhausted. I'll forever remember that evening for sure.

My only weakness and I suppose my top priority when visiting a new country or city is to find the best coffee shops or cafés. Naturally, that was the first on our agenda on the morning after. Fragments Café has been on my list for quite some time when I started looking for coffee spots to go. The vibe inside was really nice. We ended up just ordering an avocado toast with poached eggs (very British, indeed).

Breakfast and coffee done so we're pumped up for a day full of exploring and walking, obviously. I don't know how we ended up choosing to see the Fontaine Saint Michel as our first stop but we did. I was also very keen on going to the Shakespeare and Company bookshop and very close to it was the Notre Dame but we didn't go in as it was undergoing some repair. No evidence here as we only took some selfies.

Then we went to Montmartre to see the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur. By that time, we must've already walked for more than 10,000 steps and because it was the last day of July, it was also very warm. But my gosh, the view by the basilica was stunning!

We spent an hour inside the basilica and also left something very special - a padlock with our names on it dated on this day. Afterwards, we rode the funicular down for the experience but also because our legs were so beaten. Then we had a late lunch at La Crêperie de Josselin where we had our first proper French crêpes.

Already nearly six in the evening when we got back to our hotel. A few souvenirs, a lot of photos, and hearts filled. Not quite ready to leave France but ready for our next destination!

All photos taken with an iPhone (July, 2019).