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#its a nasty nasty world we live in
seal-berry · 8 months
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capitalism is fucked up because communing with the invisible hand of the market is weird and every single product release and decision is forced by competition to be this a b test human psychology thing. like if u are making a site, objectively the color of your buttons? can affect your click rates a LOT. why some colors "good" some colors "bad"? probably some mix of culturally specific and instinctual and individual factors that across the population, average out-- even if a "good" color increases sales overall its possible some may be turned off by it etc etc. and then theres the whole thing with specific cases and niche markets etc etc.
and the terrifying thing is like. all this stuff is fake, but it affects your real money coming in. which is significant whether you're a small independent business or a huge soulless conglomerate. and now take that button color decision and multiply that times... every other design choice on your site, products, packaging, etc. At what point does compromising your brand to fit these subconscious ideally performing structures taint the original product to the point where it loses its appeal? Are you willing to compromise any artistic decisions in the first place? Many products are built from the ground up with these constraints in mind, or at least with the flexibility to mold to fit the current constraints plus be re-buildable as they change.
Because oh yeah, they change. There is some amount of long term subconscious bias shifting, but there's also things like google's algorithm changes. A subtly different stream of people (maybe a lot more but, likely since your optimizations may break, a lot less) are going to your site. All those tests, if you did them, might not be accurate anymore. In the moment though, the catastrophic traffic loss is also the kiss of death, you have to try REALLY hard or have a lot of money to survive it. even still that money can go pretty fast if you have any overhead at all.
so, this setup where things are getting increasingly difficult in a lot of places, a some point down the line of staying alive, if you dont use these optimizations you may just not survive. (especially against venture capitalist-fueled competitors if youre unfortunate enough to encounter them, because they will jack up the price of doing business in your respective niche or even introduce flat-out harmful practices) Now multiply that instability times any other platforms or services you depend on-- any disruption to them causes disruption to you. Almost every single website I have made or seen a business make using a third party has eventually been forced to change their entire layout. Possibly multiple times.
And the thing is. There is another activity where it can sometimes involve a similar type of inferencing. Making art, if it at least gets to start out as just for yourself to some extent, is also a balance between understandability, (your idea of understandability) mass appeal, (as much as you feel is necessary) and individual vision/intent. it's just that in capitalism you are asked to do it for your survival, or work for companies and businesses which on some level are affected by it and, thus, can throw your life into disarray simply because of a change in the market or an arbitrarily shit decisions that can happen at any point in an increasingly long chain. It's really hard to escape it unless you have access to fuck you money, so in modern capitalism everyone gets the awesome privilege of knowing that their life hangs in the balance of a bunch of delicate strings, many of which are intent on optimizing for profit and survival aka squeezing rent and goods and necessities higher in a fucked up test of how much they can possibly get, or self-destructing in the name of short-term profit.
this situation is responsible for inducing a lot of the anxiety ppl have right now and i dont say that to discredit the awfulness of the condition at all, its very real. its cruel that the things that can harm us are so abstract in nature now, and that abstraction is of course a weapon to make it impossible for you to do anything to stop it ahead of time.
Self help says dumb shit like "modern stressors are not like the tiger chasing you in the jungle" but they miss that that's worse. Because the same peril exists, and in fact is worse now-- in the natural world there is danger, but a human needs to fuck up pretty bad to get thrown out of the tribe, and the brain craves that security. In the modern day you can easily slip through a crack and get ground to dust and that's a feature not a bug. (in fact that tribal security is the carrot that is used when the stick of homelessness has not yet been reached for) We feel the same desperation of survival but the walls of abstraction between us and that truth create the impression that being upset about this makes you unwell and will likely bring on the gaslighting about everything actually being ok and this system is the best we could ever possibly hope for. They didn't even have to abstract things that much, there's really only a few layers here, and yet it is enough. And the closest thing to a tribe most have now is that goddamn invisible hand (products and services designed down to the bevels and colors to scratch the brains itch for security and novelty just enough to keep you functional)
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irregodless · 1 year
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g8d · 2 months
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dont remember if i ever was this angry at anyone before
#keep thinking abt [redacted]#wack. tbh#like embarrassing idgaf abt this guy why is he still on my mind.#this is some ego feeding shit like its cool to hate and be angry or something?#its just that i think he should be corrected. but the system is not in agreement on this.#guy was like my best friend for a couple months never even asked abt the system lol n theyr like looking out for him#or i guess mby theyre looking out for me/us. so as to not go to jail/be haunted by our choices our whole lives.#whatever#i know how to make it stop it is just taking time and effort. because its like 1. kind of addictive so i keep accidentaly/habitually reinfo#cing it and 2. the other option is to face that im hurt and i cant do shit about it realy other than ... LeArN from it or some shit#like learn what? i already went full schizoid over this.#maybe i dont need to learn shit lol maybe i already did it :)#so just the pain then. and overcoming the hate habit. and like just letting it go and forgetting abt it#but the thing is that he needs to die i think.#i want to kill kill kill kill him so bad.#i hope hes not reading this in case i ask to meet him again sometime. for business.#maybe thats why its still on my mind#because im unwilling to let go of the idea that we could help eachother if i wasnt so stupid hurt over some little thing (the nasty shit he#pulled that hurt me lol) like bro. bro. im not going to just get over it. like thts rly the thing. 3-5 yrs ago i would have totally just#elected to get over it and make up or smth like that.#and im v unwilling to do that now while lots of my brain architecture is still built for that interaction style.#so when im thinking kill kill kill kill im going to [redacted as fuck im not putting that shit online this is already bad enough] mby im#actually killing the mental structures that make me a target for abuse :)))))))))#all is good in the world i love myself and my life. and absolutely no one else. except my mom and my friends and that one other guy who als#might read my blog but i really doubt it bc he doesnt evenrly ask me how im doing or anything . its cool though. for now.
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bluerosefox · 10 months
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Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!
"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."
Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.
"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"
But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.
"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"
An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)
"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"
"...Losers bet...."
Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.
"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."
He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.
Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)
"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"
Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.
Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.
"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."
"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."
"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."
"Talia."
Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.
So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.
It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...
Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.
After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.
And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.
He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...
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wifeyoozi · 25 days
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mingyu & wonwoo : Still stuffed, one shot, double kill
w.c : 3.1 k ┊ synopsis : boyfriends mingyu and wonwoo give their bestfriend more than you could have bargained for, but you are not complaining┊ content warning : smut , best friends to lovers sorta, bisexual threesome (m/m/f) , oral sex (f + m rec) , edging , hard dom (top) wonu + sub (bottom) gyu + sub reader , slight size kink , (idrk what its called but ig sandwich sex?) , anal (m rec) a/n : note that depiction of mingyu and wonwoo as bisexual is just for the entertainment of this fic and I do not intend to impose any sexuality on them irl. also I was absolutely wasted drunk when I wrote this so I don't even know just nasty threesome.
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it was just another video game night with wonwoo and mingyu. it was at your house, like always, because you had a gaming system installed in your bedroom instead of the living room unlike wonwoo and mingyu's shared apartment. and all three of you agreed that the bed was more comfortable to spread out and sit on while gaming.
you yelped from the right side of the bed, having won yet another round (well, technically you came second, but at least you won against mingyu). the screen in front showed the game over slide once again. you sighed and got of the bed to stretch your libs a little.
"i'm getting more beer," you announced seeing all three of your cans empty already, "y'all need anything else?"
"some snacks would be great!" mingyu called out. you took the empty cans to dispose off and left the bedroom.
you, mingyu and wonwoo have been best friends forever. you and mingyu had been childhood friends since you were neighbours. you met wonwoo in highschool and decided immediately to make him part of your little gang. the friendship remained as solid as it could throughout school and college.
wonwoo and mingyu had started dating around last year after pinning over each other for almost 2 years until mingyu asked wonwoo out for a date finally and wonwoo agreed shyly. you knew both boys were in some part of the bisexual spectrum and them dating didn't change a thing in your friendship. you were happy for them and rooted for them all the time, but you'd lie if you were to say you weren't a little jealous. you just wished you had someone to take care of you the way they did of each other. of course, they took care of you almost as well as a boyfriend would, but its been so long since your last relationship that you need more than just care.
meanwhile, mingyu and wonwoo had started making out on your bed in your absence, kissing nastily with wet noises enveloping the room. "mingyu, stop, y/n is gonna come soon," wonwoo whisper yells when he felt mingyu's hand get frisky over his sweatpants.
"i can't help it baby. you're so hot, winning every round like that. you deserve some reward," mingyu argues and wonwoo can't the sound that escapes his throat when mingyu latches his mouth on his neck, "besides, its been so long, i can barely keep away from you."
wonwoo chuckle, "we fucked last night."
"my point, its so long already," mingyu said sucking a hickey on wonwoo's neck. they were too lost in their own world to notice the door opening.
"uhm, guys?" you didn't mean to interrupt them, but you were also not exactly sure what you were supposed to do seeing them make out like animals in heat on your bed. it was hot to see them frisky like that, you had never before seen them get like this, but you had to remind yourself that it was not appropriate to think of your two best friends like that.
"o-oh! y/n! we're so sorry-" wonwoo stumbled to say, pulling away from mingyu and adjusting his glasses back up.
you didn't exactly know how to react. for one, it was difficult to unsee the growing bulges in both boys' pants. it wont be very easy to continue the game again after having that image in your mind. the beer you have had has made you a little horny - its an effect alcohol seems to have on you always - and your hot gay bestfriends weren't making it easier for you.
"whatchu thinking 'bout?" mingyu asks in a more teasing tone, seeing you malfunctioning and just standing in your place like a broken machine, "thinking 'bout joining us?"
mingyu was smacked on his arm by his boyfriend, "gyu! be nicer!"
"what? its not the worst idea," mingyu says, rubbing the spot he'd been hit on, "i remember her mentioning her interest in threesomes last time we got drunk at joey's. besides, i know you find her really hot, you'd love it too, right? i see this as a win-win!"
"i-i never said that!"
"oh but your eyes say it all, baby. i've seen how you check out her ass all the time. i am not complaining, don't worry, i do find her really hot too." mingyu was smacked again.
"boys, boys! what are y'all talking about?" you were dumbfounded. wonwoo checks out your ass!? mingyu finds you hot!? that's some great information to digest. wonwoo and mingyu share glances, as if speaking more than that you can hear with their eyes alone
"say, y/n, i'm horny, nonu is horny, and you could join us if you like, no pressure, but we'd really make it worth your time," mingyu says, looking back at you.
"you don't have to if you don't want to. you could say no and we'd never speak of it again," wonwoo adds.
you think about it seriously. on one hand you were really arounsed and your bestfriends' bulging sizes against their respective pants were sending blood to your crotch and they just offered you for a threesome. then on the other hand, your conscience said it was morally wrong to do this.
fortunately for you and your throbbing pussy, you had just the right amount of alcohol in your system to put your morals aside.
"okay, what the hell," you mumble and jump on the bed between the two, pulling them both by the collar. mingyu giggles as he pins you down and connects his lips to yours instantly. you feel two pairs of hands exploring your body, feeling you up and messing with your clothes. mingyu ravishes your mouth with his tongue, kissing you wet and dirty.
you are surprised when wonwoo pushes aside mingyu's head to take his turn to kiss you. you whine into his mouth, feeling the sudden change. wonwoo can taste mingyu in your mouth still, and the mixed flavours with the taste of your mouth turn him on incredibly. if you thought mingyu was a dirty kisser, wonwoo was worse. his spit was all over the places as he kissed you hungrily and open-mouthedly, and you absolutely loved it.
it must be visible on your face because mingyu chuckled at you, already taking off his clothes, "i should warn you, y/n, wonwoo may look shy and innocent with his nerdy glasses, but he is a complete freak in bed. he is a literal sex monster."
you gasped at mingyu's words. wonwoo took the opportunity to stick his tongue deep down your throat, making you almost choke. then suddenly, it was gone. wonwoo pulled back from you, making you chase his lips, but he pushed you down. he sat up on the bed, taking off his t-shirt, making you whine as he did it all so slowly.
"mingyu, take off her clothes."
mingyu obeyed so. your shirt was pulled off you, your bra taken off at a speed that your think the clasps must've broken, and your shorts yanked off. you felt cold and exposed out in the air, so you tried to approach mingyu to kiss you again, heat your body with his again. but your hair was pulled, making you fall back on the bed with a gasp.
"did i say you could kiss him already?" wonwoo's eyes were dark, and you were scared of him in a hot way which made you want to obey everything he says like a little obedient slut. you were leaking so bad from his strong demeanor, you were sure they both could see the huge dark spot on your panties.
wonwoo leaned by your ears, and whispered softly, "if i make you uncomfortable with my words or action, you can tell me to stop, yeah?"
you nodded, but you didn't plan to. if anything, you wanted him to keep acting meaner to you. you didn't know you would be into being dominated like this until now.
wonwoo snaps at mingyu after that, "open her legs up, kiss her thighs." mingyu does just that, slowly spreading you knees apart and placing buttery wet kisses long your thighs, nearing to your core. you cannot make out if the sound he makes is a laugh or a moan against your soft thighs when he sees how wet you are.
wonwoo snakes his hand down to your breasts, grabbing one in each hand and slowly kneading the flesh. "take her panties off," wonwoo commands mingyu and he does so. "lick her up. she's making a mess, lick all her juices up."
mingyu licks a flat strip along your pussy, his tongue dipping into your folds. wonwoo helps him, reaches a hand to open your outer labia with two fingers, and properly gives mingyu access. mingyu licks a long strip from your slit to your clit and you let out loud whorish moans to let it be known how much you love this.
"squeeze his head with your thighs, he likes that," wonwoo tells you and you comply with him without even thinking. you press your thighs to mingyu's ears, enough to for him to feel the pressure but not so much you'd hurt him. but that's not what wonwoo wants. "more," he he tells you, and you squeeze your thighs tighter around his head until, --
oh. mingyu moaned over your cunt, and you felt the vibrations. wonwoo smirked when he heard it too. he grabbed a hold of mingyu's short hair tightly and pushed his head deeper into your cunt. you understand now. mingyu likes being hurt like this. he likes being controlled by wonwoo. you couldn't hear what wonwoo said next, lost in the thoughts when you suddenly felt a tongue dart into your cunt, earning a choked moan from your lips.
wonwoo leaned down to kiss your nipples, sucking on them and licking them up like a hungry cat. your hands reached over his head, lacing your fingers through his soft hair. you were close already and both the boys could sense it from the way your moans got more erratic and your thighs trembled.
you were just about to reach your high when wonwoo grabbed mingyu's head and pushed him away from your cunt. a cry left your lips, your cunt spasming and clenching around nothing with all sensations gone. you felt tears filling up your eyes as wonwoo leaned down and kissed your lips.
"there, there. it wasn't that bad now, was it? i know a pretty girl like you can take better," wonwoo's words were comforting, as his hands rubbed circles on the side of your hips, but his tone was awfully teasing and it just made you want to cry harder.
wonwoo instructed mingyu to sit up on the bed against the headboard and got you on all fours in front of him so your face was to mingyu and ass to wonwoo who was preparing his dick behind you. mingyu's dick was red and hard against his belly, but he wouldn't dare touch it without wonwoo's instructions. mingyu and wonwoo were a little similar in sizes, you noticed (and it made your mouth salivate), except mingyu was thicker than wonwoo and the latter was longer.
it was more so of a punishment for you too, to just watch his painfully erect dick and not put it in your mouth. hell, you couldn't even kiss his pretty pink pouty lips until wonwoo said you could. you had only spent twenty minutes with wonwoo and mingyu in bed, but you already knew the rules of this game. you knew wonwoo was in charge of everything and you should obey everything he says, otherwise the consequences could be harsh. and that turned you on incredibly.
wonwoo played with his dick, sliding along the length of your slit, teasing you. "wonu, please," you whimpered needily.
"hm? did you say something?" wonwoo said in a fake tone, landing a smack on your ass, only to rub the spot soothingly soon after, "its difficult to hear with this beautiful pussy in front of my eyes."
you whined again, tears falling down your cheeks. mingyu was smirking at you, as if he was in any better position than you with his throbing untouched dick.
"daddy, please, fuck me," you whimpered at wonwoo.
the latter chuckled, slowly pushing his head into your cunt, already prepped and stretched by mingyu's tongue before. "shit, you're so fucking needy. just a needy little slut, arent you? don't worry, i'll fill your pussy up."
he set a high speed for you. you gasp and almost fall face-flat on the bed, only to be held up by mingyu. mingyu's other hand clutched the sheets, trying his best not to lose control. he liked being a good boy for wonwoo. the rough punishment-fuck was good, yes, but he loved the way wonwoo praised him and rewarded him better. besides, he had to be a good role model for you.
wonwoo could see the desperation on his boyfriend's face, and chuckled, deciding he deserved a treat. "mingyu has been a really good boy, don't you think, y/n? why don't you blow his dick, hm?"
wonwoo pushed your head down till your mouth was on mingyu's dick. you licked a long strip lengthwise on his erection, testing and teasing. mingyu let out a guttarial moan and you took his dick inside your mouth as far as it could go. wonwoo wasn't satisfied with your mediocre efforts, and pushed your head till you swallowed all of mingyu.
you forced your gag reflexes to relax as mingyu's head hit the back of your throat. with wonwoo's relentless speed, your head bobbed over mingyu's dick from inertia alone, not having to do a lot of work. mingyu's thighs started convulsing soon and both of you were near to your edge already. you thought if you don't let it show you were close, wonwoo wouldn't notice until you're actually cumming and he wouldn't be able to edge you a second time.
it was risky, but you really wanted to cum already.
unfortunately for you, mingyu was too obedient to his boyfriend to cum down your throat without asking first.
"wonu, i'm close," he whined, making wonwoo pull your head off mingyu by your hair, making you whine loudly. you whined even louder when wonwoo exited you without giving you the release you needed.
"you are really noisy, y'know that?" wonwoo tells you teasingly. "good for you, i love hearing your sweet voice. stay in your position. mingyu come back here."
mingyu stands up on weak legs and kneels on the edge of the bed in front of your ass, his dick the perfect height to your entrance. wonwoo took a hold of his lover's dick and slowly pushed it in you again. you gasped at the unexpected intrusion. "hold her hips, baby, or she'll fall. she's so weak, you gotta help her. now, don't move yet, be patient."
mingyu stays still, painfully deep inside you. you loved the stretch from his dick. you could almost feel his tip brush against your sweet spot - if only he'd move a little and hit it with force.
you heard a whimper from mingyu, making you look back over your shoulder. your eyes widened, seeing wonwoo fingering mingyu from the back, two fingers deep already, preparing him. you realised what was about to come instantly. you turned your back and waited in anticipation, knowing that the best blow will come with the surprise of it.
you couldn't be more right because as soon as wonwoo's hips snapped against mingyu's, mingyu's snapped against yours, going balls deep. the feeling was extreme, one of a kind, and thrilly. mingyu's dick hit every right spot at every hit, making you reach cloud nine with the feeling. if not for mingyu's hands supporting your hips, you would have fallen down already with how weak your limbs felt.
the room sounded really filthy with the rhythmic double slapping of skins mixed with your moans, mingyu's whimpers and wonwoo's groans. but certainly mingyu was having the best time among you three, with his prostrate being abused by his boyfriend's dick on one end and having his dick swallowed by his best friend's pussy on the other. his eyes were rolling back and his throat ached with the loud noises it created. he was close a second time and he let his boyfriend know of it.
"cum on her pretty ass," wonwoo said, marking his sentence with a loud smack of his hand on mingyu's ass, making the latter cry. just as instructed, mingyu exited you before cumming ropes of white semen in your ass. "such a good puppy. now help her cum too. use your fingers on her clit."
mingyu's fingers found their way to your sensitive clit, rubbing in circular motions. you barely took any time before you were squirting, wetting the bed under you with a cry. you let your body fall on the bed and turn on your back so you could embrace mingyu, who fell right on top of you. wonwoo had slowed his speed a little to let his lover come down from his high at a relaxed pace without overstimulating him.
you kissed mingyu and mingyu kissed you, both finding comfort in the wet warmth of the other's mouth. the sight was oddly a turn-on for wonwoo, who soon came deep inside mingyu's ass, giving him a creampie as he exited. mingyu rolled over on the bed beside you, eyes closed shut from the tiredness.
you vaguely saw wonwoo get up and leave to the bathroom before your own eyes fell shut. you were sleepy already, it's probably past your usual bedtime. you barely registered being wiped clean with a warm and wet towel before being dressed in your pajama shorts and a loose tshirt. when your eyes opened wonwoo was doing the same to mingyu, kissing him on the top of his head after.
mingyu rolled to his side and snuggled against you sleepily, making you giggle softly while wonwoo got himself a pair of grey shorts to put on. wonwoo pouted and mumbled something under his breath before he snuggled on your other side. both the boys practically sandwiched you, with your back to wonwoo and front to mingyu.
you saw as the boyfriends shared a goodnight kiss, the sweetness dripping, making you smile for them. then mingyu looked at you with pouted lips, and you muttered a me too? before he pressed a kiss to your lips. you giggled as wonwoo picked your cheek as goodnight too.
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"so, uhm, is this a thing now? we ... three?"
"it could be, if you like."
"i think i'd like it, it be great."
"this is so perfect, my cute little boyfriend and my cute little girlfriend." mingyu chuckled.
"i'm not little!" you and wonwoo whined simultaneously.
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713-4th-ward-g · 2 years
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#man this still just don't feel right#both of them#and people talking about them like they knew them#they werent living by the gun and didnt deserve to die that way#my dawgs werent animals#my friends were not looking for trouble when they got shot#we always drove around Houston smoking big just on cruise like we always did#and just cause they died in the hood they're automatically thugs ? man dawg this world makes me sick#character defamation of two of my closet friends#Thomas helped anyone out if you needed help and you asked him he wouldn't hesitate to help you#Jeremy just turned 20 and had so many dreams so much to live for they both did#Thomas and Jeremy were not animals they weren't looking for trouble#to the people posting my dawgs body on TikTok i know God is watching and he'll remember all the nasty deeds you've done you will be judged#they dont deserve to be made fun of or defamed they had so much love in their hearts so much and werent afraid to show it#i still cant believe this is real life#two of my best friends in one night#all because someone couldn't hold an L in a fight and called for guns#i just hope they find em i dont want my dawgs murders out here thinking life is sweet#dawg the these people on the comments section dont know a lick of honoring the dead or have an ounce of dignity in them#i bet if it were their families they'd be feeling the same pain its a shame it takes the same pain for them to realize#i dont wish them that pain man i just wish people actually had respect for the dead and had Honor and dignity#i just know that the key to the investigation is finding out where they were coming from#just seeing the raw video dawg its sickening#Jeremy got shot in the back to check on Thomas after thomas fell out of the car#they wanna be thugs so bad they kill them both unexpectedly and one of them behind his back#whatever happened to walk downs man wannabe gangsta doing drive bys scared to death to actually fight it out wit hands#this shit is sad nobody want to just throw hands they always jump to guns
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transgenderer · 8 days
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So there's an octavia butler short story, the book of Martha, where God gives an author (closely patterned on butler herself, but possibly intentionally less creative) infinite(?) power to remake the world, to fix humanity and/or its problems before we destroy ourselves. After considering a variety of options (it's possible she's only allowed to modify human nature? But the story never stares that. Maybe she's just not good at considering all her options) she just gives everyone extremely pleasurable dreams. So they're less ambitious I guess. And in general have nicer lives
Anyway this story has stuck with me in two ways. The first: so, assume you're not just gonna like. Give humanity infinite resources or whatever. How do you make a utopia? Well to me the answer seems obvious, based on my experience of my own psyche. The human mind needs more affection. It's too easy for annoyance or some petty issue to overwhelm affection. And then we are cruel and selfish and all this stuff. Like. Idk, I feel like I've experienced moments of clear-eyed saintlihood. My brain produces that...outlook/emotion/whatever. But it won't stick there, of course. But it feels like it wouldn't be too far a jump to just get the human brain to stick there more easily. Still let us access other states, for variety. Give us some sense of others freedom or whatver, so our care for each other doesn't make us all busy bodies. But like. It would only take the tugging of a few chemical strings to fix human nature. A little less rage, a little more philia.
This is of course an important piece of evidence that if there is a god he doesn't love us. He could have made us full of lovingkindness. He could have made us not want to hurt and humiliate each other. But he didn't. Because all that nastiness helps us succeed in the social games that increase our mating frequency, or selectiveness, or whatever, presumably, and so selective descent with modification doomed us all forever. Or, God is real but cares about something else. Maybe beauty. Maybe he feels the glory of war is worth it.
But the second thing, is noticing which parts of our world feel like a Martha has already been there. I was looking at the sky on the train home today (hmabhrg! There was a William Blake exhibition), admiring it, and I was struck again by how...excessive, superfluous, overflowing, decadent, additional it is. The sky could just be a simple blue, fading evenly to black. Clouds could always be blobby and indistinct. We could all be congenital shortsighted, so they were always blurry. But instead they're just this part of the world, detached from all the specifics of earthly life, that is achingly beautiful, most nights! Sunsets are so beautiful it's cliche, it's boring! That feels like a gift from a Martha. Someone a bit uncreative trying to fix the world in a way that doesn't shake it up too much
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springseasonie · 6 months
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Two worlds apart Pt. 2 | JJH (M)
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Prince Jaehyun x maid fem reader, arranged marriage trope, forbidden love trope
Part 1.
Summary: reckless decisions always have a bittersweet ending.
Warnings: sexual content, some fluff, lots of angst, penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), standing sex, unprotected, praising, possessive Jaehyun, pregnancy, he's a munch 🤭, angst, bittersweet ending, bridgerton esque, historically inaccurate, story takes place within a couple of weeks it's kinda fast ik I'm sorry
Word count: 17k
Song recs: promise by laufey, how does it make you feel by Victoria Monet
A/n: awkwardly laughs...hey guys its taken me too long to write this and it's not even that great but I'm satisfied so pls enjoy it sorry for the wait Ilya 🤍 feedback is love and appreciated as always 🤍🤍
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Jaehyun was practically chasing Rose down the corridor as she walked fast trying to get away from him, shoes clicking on the shiny marble floor. "Rose, please-"
"I don't want to speak to you," she said, gripping her gown tighter as she pulled it from the floor as she walked.
Jaehyun quickly caught up to her, taking her arm in his hands. She quickly snatched it out of his grasp, giving him a nasty glare. Jaehyun had never been looked at that way, and she could tell by the way his face twisted into an offended expression. Rose had not only found out about him leaving her alone to be with you the night prior, but also about him sleeping with you. She knew what she was getting herself into, but she didn't know how draining it could be. It's only been a couple of days, but time is running out as each second passes.
"I said I don't want to speak to you. I don't even want to look at you," she spat, face still and cold as ice.
"Well I don't care what you want," the prince snapped. "I don't want this. I never asked for this."
"And you think I did." Her voice rang out through the halls, her anger bouncing off the stained glass windows. By this point, any and everyone in the castle knew very well about the details of Jaehyun's affair. "All I asked from you is to at least bed me before you went and live whatever fantasies you had with that wench-"
"Don't you dare call her that." Jaehyun's voice lowered as he stared down at the princess, a dangerous glint in his eyes. But Rose isn't known to be the kind of woman to back down. She's scared of no one, not even her parents.
Rose turned around, facing him fully in all his anger. His ears were red, jaw clenched as he stared down at her icy exterior. "Wench, whore, prostitute. Whatever she is, I do not care. If she shows signs of being with child in the next couple of months, you can expect her to be outside of my castle."
"This is my castle. You are on my land in my country and she will not be going anywhere," he declared, but all Rose did was laugh in his face.
"I am your princess, your queen, your wife. I will do as I please in these walls. All I want is an heir and we will be done with this nonsense," she says. Rose quickly turns and walks away, butler tailing her as she quickly removes herself from the situation.
All Jaehyun could do was let out an exasperated sigh in the middle of the hall. He knew she shouldn't go to you, but that's all he could think of. You were the only person who could comfort him at the moment, and he needed to see you, and so he will. So against his better judgment he trudged down the hall, butler following behind him closely to keep his pace.
"Prince, you mustn't act recklessly," his butler said, keeping a close eye on him.
"And why not," Jaehyun snaps, running down the marble staircase. "Rose hasn't even been here for 30 days and is already irking my nerves."
"My grace, I understand that you're angry now, but-"
The prince turned around, annoyed and jaw clenching at the conversation. "If I can't have anything else in this world, at least let me have my anger." Jaehyun knew that even after saying that, it would never happen. Nothing ever truly belonged to him. Everything belonged to the crown. The only thing that would ever be his was the air he breathed, but was that even his? He never felt like it, not when his mother and father have been telling him what and how to do anything since he was born.
Jaehyun knew his life would never truly be his. His family, his love, his legacy would never be his, but one thing he could say was that you were his. And you wanted to be his, and if either one of you wanted that, he would have to fight for it in any way that he could. Jaehyun was serious about loving you, he always has been. He would give up anything and everything to be by your side forever.
"My prince, your mother is very worried about you," his butler spoke. "She says you've been more careless than usual."
"Well that's the kind of thing that happens when you lie to your children." The two walked through the second largest corridor of the property towards the main kitchen. Jaehyun knew you'd be in there at this time. You had the same schedule almost everyday, not that he had memorized it (he definitely did).
Jaehyun barged into the kitchen, startling everyone, forcing them to turn to the door. Like always, the group of people, including yourself bowed or curtsey towards him and his butler.
"Your grace," everyone greeted in unison.
Jaehyun shot everyone a small smile, bowing slightly when his eyes caught you in the back of the room. You had been avoiding him since the night of the ball. Everything in him regretted what he did knowing that you didn't want to be his mistress. But unfortunately, he didn't feel completely guilty. You avoided his very obvious gaze, looking elsewhere in the room in an attempt to silently tell him to leave you be, but of course it did not work.
"Everyone step outside please," he said, a deep voice rushing through the room. The staff started to scurry, not wanting to face the prince's volatile anger. They could all tell that he was on edge, not in the right mind. You followed behind everyone, trying to hide, but Jaehyun is very perceptive.
"Except for you."
You looked up, his round deep brown eyes looking down at you cold, as if you were in trouble. And you were constantly running away from him anytime he was near. Jaehyun let the rest of the castle staff out, pulling you aside. His butler followed the staff, stepping out, but standing in front of the door making sure no one else came in.
His broad frame turned to you, folding his hands at his waist as he spoke. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
"You grace, I have not been avoiding you," you answer calmly. You were not in the mood to speak to him or anyone else for that matter. Having to work so closely with his wife has been mentally tormenting you enough, you didn't want to add more to the list.
"Y/N, you have been avoiding me since the ball," he said, squinting his eyes at your formal speech.
"I have not. I've been busy. I, too, have responsibilities," you retort.
Jaehyun sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was about to become angry, and when he got angry, he had a tendency to yell. He did not want to yell at you however, so he had to reign his anger back.
"I know you have been avoiding me. Tell me why, and I will not take no for an answer."
You were taken back by his assertiveness. Jaehyun had ever spoken to you this way, almost as if he was demanding you to speak. You stared up at him, giving him a dry laugh before scoffing. He knew exactly why you were avoiding him, and anyone else of power for that matter.
"Don't you dare scoff at me. I am your king-"
"You are a prince. And you did not care when you abandoned your wife during a ball to bed me," you snapped.
"It was on a wall."
"Nevertheless," you continued, "you did the very thing I asked you not to do. I do not want to be your mistress. I do not want to be pregnant. If I cannot have all of you, I will not have you. Jaehyun, please understand that this is for the both of us."
"Y/N, I love you, and there is no one, especially you, who could make me stop." And he meant every word. Never in a million years would he ever let anyone talk to him the way you just did, but it didn't even register in his brain to be upset. Not when you stood there, food all over your apron, flour on your cute angry face.
You watched his hardened face begin to soften, realizing your words weren't getting through to him. He really did love you, and would be willing to do anything to keep you with him, and that scared you. Everyone knows how reckless and impulsive he is, and you did not want to be the reason for his impulsivity. With a heavy sigh, you shook your head as you looked at your feet.
"I'm scared," you confess.
"Of what?"
"If I am actually pregnant before the princess, I don't know what will become of me," you say.
"Nothing," he declared. "Nothing will become of you. I will protect you with my life, and I mean it."
"I don't need you to do that. What I need is space Jaehyun. I need you to give me as much space as we can get in this Castle." You watched his expression drop, sadness filling his eyes. He knew you were serious and didn't want to be apart from you for more than he could take, so for now he will agree, but not for long.
"Fine," he said, nodding. "I understand. But I need you to understand something also."
"And what is that?"
"I am your prince, and this is my castle." Jaehyun began to close the distance between the both of you, making you take steps back until you hit the counter. "You work for me, and any other royal under this roof, which means if I call for you, you must oblige."
"But Jaehyun, that's-"
"Do not question your prince." His body was dangerously close to yours, nose almost touching yours as he spoke. "You will do as I ask, understood?"
Jaehyun's lips ghosted above yours, trying so hard to not kiss you where you stood. His hands were folded behind his back as he breathed heavily. The tension was pressing on both of your chest, Jaehyun could feel your shaky breaths fanning on his face as you gulped. You could tell him a million times you didn't want him, but he knew that deep down, you wanted him. You needed him as much as he needed you.
He couldn't take the teasing anymore, eyes drooping as he stared down at your lips. Jaehyun didn't want to tell you, but he couldn't stop thinking about you since the night of the ball. Your body, your face, your voice. He didn't need to tell you though. Jaehyun is easy to read. The way he would stare at you when he caught a glimpse of you working, he would practically tear your clothes off with his eyes.
"I-I understand," you answered.
"Good. Now kiss me."
You locked your lips with his desperately, kissing him like your life depended on it. Jaehyun took his hands from behind his back, and placed them on your waist. Jaehyun pulled you close to him, mouth still on yours in a heated kiss. The feeling of your lips on his started to stir inside him, wanting to go further than just a kiss. He moved from your mouth to your jaw, kissing your face softly as you let your eyes flutter shut. Your hand moved to his cheek, cupping it softly.
"J-Jaehyun," you sigh softly.
That was almost enough to make him snap, but he held back and you could feel it in how hard he gripped your sides. "Just a little more Y/N. God, I've missed you so much." Jaehyun kisses down your neck, back to your face and on your lips. You moaned softly against his mouth, pushing him closer and closer to his limit. "You're killing me," he whined softly.
You missed his hands on you. You knew you wanted him all to yourself, and maybe you were being selfish at the moment indulging in his self destructive behaviors, but you needed him just one last time. You needed to feel his lips on yours, to know that he loves you and that he really did care.
"S-stop, we can't continue," you said against his lips. You were saying one thing, but your body told another story. You were leaning into him, holding him like you didn't want to let him go.
"Just a little more." He was now half hard under his pants. Jaehyun couldn't control himself when it came to you. You had so much power over him, and he secretly loved it.
"No, you have to go. Duties to tend to. And I have to tend to the kitchen."
Jaehyun finally let up, planting one more kiss before painfully pulling his entire body from you. You were the prettiest flustered mess he's ever seen. All he did was kiss you, but you were breathing heavily, blinking profusely. He couldn't help but stand there, smiling smugly to himself as he watched you attempt to gather yourself.
"I love you."
You looked up from your feet, Jaehyun's voice rattling you. There it was again, his sweet words coupled with his pretty face that always made your heart beat out your chest. You nodded, choosing to not respond to him.
"That was the last time Jaehyun. I mean it," you declared sternly.
He was still smiling to himself, nodding as you spoke. The both of you knew it wasn't going to be the last time, but he went along with what you said regardless.
"You agree, but you're not taking me seriously. I mean it Jaehyun," you repeated. "Now leave. We've been here for far too long."
"Of course, my lady. I will take my leave." He turned on his heels, walking towards the door. Before he left he turned to you, to say one more thing. "I will give you your space, but I want you to know that no matter what, I love you and will protect you at all cost."
"I understand," you sighed. "Now go, my prince."
You watched him walk out of the door, already feeling a longing for him. You knew it would probably be hard, but what you didn't know was that Jaehyun was going to make it near impossible.
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Nothing between Jaehyun and Rose seemed to be getting better, and the staff in the castle are beginning to notice much more than before. Jaehyun leaves the castle a lot more often while Rose invites the women of the ton around more often. Being one of her main staff, you unfortunately had to be there with her and her constant complaints, like right now. 
You poured everyone's tea, making it just like how they all requested it as they sat around you, conversing about things you never cared about. Jewels, food, parties, whatever it was rich people did. None of it mattered to you. It's not like you could ever love that kind of life, no matter how much you wanted to. You were merely a maid, an old one at that. 
"So what exactly is it like being with the prince," Lady Clarke questioned, sipping her tea. Of course she wanted to know, all of the women wanted to know so they could gossip about it once they left. 
"Well, it's.." Rose paused. She had nothing positive to say. Her and Jaehyun practically lived separate lives, separate bedrooms, separate staff; they were split but together. "It's a bit of a handful, but he's delightful."
You sensed the strain in her voice when complimenting him, along with her eyes being into your soul. You were the only one blocking her blessings, but it wasn't your fault. Being very aware of her resentment towards you for failing to end things with him the night of their ball, you constantly tried to remain as far from her as possible. However, Jaehyun insisted you help her on this day almost as if he was trying to torment her with your presence. You had no idea what he was thinking, but it couldn't be anything good.  
"Your majesty, I'm sure you can give us more than that," Lady Webster chimed, making everyone laugh softly except for Rose. 
You rolled your eyes watching the show in front of you. The ton's attempt at trying to be secretive about their body questions was annoying to you. You wanted very well to tune out of the conversation until you heard one thing. 
"I heard there was a rumor of him having a mistress," another woman said. 
Your ears piped along with Rose's body stiffening at the topic. She glanced at you quickly, going unnoticed by the other women but not by you. The glint of envy and anger in her eyes will never go away, not as long as her husband's heart remains with you. You knew she didn't want him to love her, but sometimes you wondered if she wasn't completely true in her intentions with him. Rose had always been used to being the center of attention, princess or not. It was strange for her not to be the center of his attention. 
"Well, I know nothing of such a thing," Rose responded with a fake laugh.
The women of the ton laughed with her uncomfortably, giving each other worried glances. The room began to get stuffy, uncomfortable energy filling the space as they all went silent. You stood in the corner of the room, looking at the ground, because you knew you couldn't handle your facial expressions. 
"W-well, it's only a rumor. I have no idea where it came from. It's most likely not true," she said. 
"I mean, did you think it was true?" The princess's ice glare often scared whoever it landed on. She was beautiful and gracious, but never one to mess with. She wouldn't give you a second before out casting you. 
"P-princess, of course I don't think it's true," the woman backtracked. "In fact, I think it's horrible. My grace having a mistress? Simply tasteless." 
"I agree," Rose said, taking a sip of her tea. "Having a mistress is nothing new, but…" she looked at you, eyes meeting yours as she spoke. "Any woman who allows such things must be a whore, and I hate whores."
At this point, you were feeling a feeling you've never felt before. Was it guilt? Was it embarrassment? You didn't know, but your heart was beating out of your chest, anger rising the more she spoke. 
"The prince is better than what some people think. He would never be so low to be in relations with a mere maid or commoner. He's too good for them." 
Her words cut through your cool demeanor, a slight wince showing on your face as you kept your head down. You never wanted to admit it, but she was right. Jaehyun was way too good for you. The both of you were too different, which made it all the more difficult for him to leave you. Since the night of the ball, you couldn't stop thinking about what could become of you if you really were going to have a child. In a different universe, they would just force you to marry him. But here, you would be thrown out of the castle before he even knew about his illegitimate children. Suddenly, the call of your name snapped you out of your own head. 
"Y/N, dear, will you take these to the kitchen? I feel our friends here are finished drinking," Rose said with her perfect, pretty, fake smile. 
"Of course, you grace." Quickly, you grabbed everything, placing it on the tray on the table. Carefully you lifted the tray, making your way out the large bright room. 
All you wanted on this trip to the Castle's kitchen was to make it there quickly and undisturbed. However, your secret lover had other plans. As if he planned it, Jaehyun, his butler, and one of their staff turned the corner, walking the opposite direction of you.
Once he caught a glimpse of you, his stone cold face warmed up a bit, a smirk tugging on his lips. You looked elsewhere trying to avoid eye contact. You said you needed space from him, so why does he have to be everywhere? And why do you want to go wherever he's going? 
You walked a bit faster, trying to get past him and his staff when you tripped over your own feet. The cups on the tray rattled, porcelain threatening to tip over as you attempted to catch yourself and the metal tray. 
"Bailey, please help her," Jaehyun said, motioning his arm to you. His butler did as he said, rushing to your aid. Bailey took the tray from your hands carefully, temporarily relieving you of the stress of carrying it. 
"Hello," Jaehyun said to you, hands clasped behind his back. 
"Your grace." You curtseyed, glancing up at him to see an amused look on his face. 
"I sensed there was a lady who needed help so, here I am," he joked, but you remained serious. You knew why he came. It was simply to see you, to irk you, to speak to you. You already knew he wasn't going to take your words seriously but you didn't think he would disregard them in a couple of days. 
The both of you stood silently, you were more awkward than him, until he spoke. "I need you to help me with something," he said, tilting his head to the side a bit. 
"Yes, my grace, of course, but i-"
"Don't worry about Rose, I already sent someone else to help." Just at that moment, another maid walked past quickly going into the room with all the ladies. 
You looked at him, eyes narrowing as he gave you that smug look you could never stand. If I call for you, you must oblige. You could curse him for those words, but unfortunately you weren't in private. "I understand your grace but-"
"I'm sorry," he chuckled dryly. Jaehyun took a small step closer to you followed by his guard, looking down at you with glossy eyes. He loves this "game" he thinks he's playing with you. The push and pull, tug of war. "Are you telling your prince no?" 
"Your grace-" 
"You know you shouldn't disobey your prince." Jaehyun spoke in a low, soft way, his tone gentle as he watched you. You were really trying to hold your own in this silent battle between you and him, but the way his tongue slips out against his lips, wetting them slightly is making your mind reel. He was so close, too close. You could hear his breathing and the way he looked at you made you feel like he was going to pounce on you. Unfortunately, you wanted him too. 
Your heart was starting to Beat out of your chest, hands becoming clammy as you looked up at him. You gulped, pinching your lips together. 
"So," he said, eyes darting to your lips. "You will come with me and help, yes?" 
"Yes my grace."
"Good. At 6, Bailey will come get you, understood?" 
"Yes my grace."
"Good. See you then."
-
Jaehyun crashed his lips onto yours, hands traveling all over your body, nothing but your slip keeping your skin from contact. His big hands groped every inch of you, arms wrapping around your body encasing you in his strength.
"Jaehyun, please slow down," you whine softly, eyes closed and brows furrowed as he kissed down your neck.
"I-I'm sorry I just really missed you," he said into your neck. Light of the sunset through the windows lit your face perfectly. "Get on the bed."
"You have to let go of me first."
Jaehyun gave you a small laugh, unwrapping his arms from around you. He watched you back away from him slowly, eyes never leaving your body as you laid on the bed. There you were, laying there just for him. Just like he wanted.
Jaehyun climbed on top of you, a small gasp leaving your lips when you felt the weight of his body on the bed. Jaehyun kissed you again, this time like his life depended on it. Your lips moved in harmony, the both of you in absolute bliss. When you kissed each other it felt like nothing else mattered, no one else mattered. Jaehyun wanted this forever, but you knew it could only be temporary.
Jaehyun kissed down your neck and along your collarbone softly, making your body rise in temperature. "You know," he said against your skin softly," you are doing a terrible job at keeping your distance from me."
"I had no choice," you sighed, fingers playing in his hair. "You sent your butler for me."
"Because I knew if I came, you would've refused." Jaehyun crawled down your body, watching you as you watched him. He took his right hand, grabbing the fabric that laid on your skin and pushing it up. The man chuckled, watching you shudder when the cool air hit your skin. His eyes darkened watching you try and close your legs, he opened them gripping your ankles firmly.
"Don't hide from me," he said softly. Jaehyun leaned down, face getting closer and closer between your legs. This was new, something you've never done before and you didn't know how to process it.
"W-what are you doing," you questioned, eyes wild with panic.
"I want to taste you." The breath from his lips was hitting your inner thigh. He watched you give him that look of complete bliss as he kissed the skin softly. "Will you allow me to?"
"Y-yes."
Jaehyun smiled against your skin, still looking into your eyes as he kissed your thighs again. Your breath hitch in your throat when you feel his soft lips on your swollen bud. He kisses it again, licking it softly as he watches your body twitch at the unfamiliar sensation. He wanted this for a long time, hands gripping the underside of your thighs holding your legs apart. Your soft sighs were like music to his ears, tongue still licking at you slowly as he allowed you to get more comfortable with the feeling.
"God," you sighed, hands reaching for his hair.
"Do you like it?" Jaehyun smiles to himself when you nod, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking the bud of nerves softly. He feels your legs shake when the sensation shoots up your body.
Your fingers find themselves in his dark brown locks, eyes fluttering shut as he continues at a slow pace. Jaehyun gives you a slight pinch, making your body jump. You looked between your legs, his eyes dark with lust.
"Look at me," he said, voice deep. " Keep your eyes on me. I want you to think of this every time you see me."
Your body trembles, whines and whimpers, escaping your lips when Jaehyun goes all in on you. His tongue and lips move skillfully between your legs, the pleasure multiplying by a hundred. Jaehyun licked up your arousal, instantly becoming drunk off the taste of you. He needed this, he wanted this, to feel and be closer to you than ever before. To taste you, feel you, be lost in you.
Your brows furrowed, gulping at the way he flicked his tongue on your clit. His hands were still on your thighs, holding them so tight his fingertips were imprinted by now.
"J-Jaehyun, you feel so good," you whined softly. You pulled his hair making him look at you darkly. The way his tongue moved left you speechless, especially when the muscle made its way inside you, making your jaw drop slightly. "Oh God.."
He smirked to himself, tongue fucking you as he watched you lose yourself on the bed. If he could do this every day forever he would. Jaehyun's brows scrunched, feeling your hips move against his tongue. He watched your desperation rake all over your body, right hand no longer in his hair but on your nipples, pulling and twisting it. You tried hard to watch him, but you had no choice but to let your head fall back onto the bed taking in everything he was giving you.
Any other day, he would've stopped and made you look at him, but seeing you in absolute bliss, completely unable to control yourself was imprinted in his brain. "So pretty," he said, slurping your juices.
You felt Jaehyun take one hand off your leg, your head jolting up wondering if he was finished already. "D-don't stop yet," you whimpered softly.
"Don't worry my love," he cooed. Jaehyun took two fingers to your entrance, rubbing it slowly. You were so wet, fingertips glistening in the ray of sunshine that peeked through the stain glass. "You love me this much?"
You covered your face in embarrassment, knees coming together as your face heated up, but all he did was pull them apart. Jaehyun gently pulled your arms from your face, staring at you with a smile. "Don't hide from me," he whispered gently. Jaehyun took his hand back between your legs, circling his fingertips against your soaking entrance, sinking them inside of you. His face twisted in pleasure with your in unison, watching your eyes flutter shut once he gave you the stretch you needed. He pumped his fingers in you slowly, taking in your small whines.
Jaehyun watched as you reached for his other hand, holding your leg, taking it and pulling it towards your body, placing his rough palms on your breast.
"Touch me, please."
You have no idea the power you have over him. He's like putty in your hands at the moment, but you're so oblivious in how much he actually loves you, how much he wants to make you feel good. Jaehyun loves it when you whimper, when your voice cracks from the overwhelming amount of pleasure like just now.
He kept fingering you, squeezing and pinching your chest adding more pleasure. He couldn't get enough of the way you arched into his hand, grinded your body into his fingers. "That's it," he mumbled softly. "Keep going."
You were so wet, your arousal all over your inner thighs and his hands. Even the bed was wet, but neither you or Jaehyun had the chance to notice. Not when he was starting to speed up his fingers. You gulped, brows furrowing as you moaned softly.
"Jaehyun.."
Your eyes were now opened, vision flickering between his face and his hands. You loved that look he gave you. The gentle, but dominant expression on his face. As if his only purpose was to make you feel good. You would never tell him but you craved it. You craved his attention no matter how much you pushed him away. You craved that look in his eye when you felt like the only girl in the world.
"Doesn't it feel good," he mumbled, a small smile grazing his lips. He licked his lips, watching your body shiver under his touch, your cunt squeezing around his fingers. Jaehyun means down, nipple rolling between his fingers as he kisses you on your neck tenderly.
You nodded, hand cradling the back of his head as he kissed your skin. Jaehyun lifted his head, eyes darting straight to your lips. You missed each other softly as you moaned softly into his mouth. Kisses soon turned into lips touching, pants and whimpers filling the air as he worked his hand inside of you. The curl of his fingers left you gasping for air, back arching onto his chest.
"Jaehyun, please. I'm so close," you said, voice cracking into a whisper. Just at that moment, he pulled his fingers out of you, the high you desperately wanted to reach snatched away from you. "N-no," you whined.
"Don't worry, Y/N.."
You watched him, mouth gone dry, as he undressed himself. First, his shirt, then his shoes, then everything else. You laid watching him become bare in front of you. This is the most skin you've ever seen from him and surprisingly, you weren't that off put. You always knew he had a perfect body. He was fit, muscular everywhere. Arms, legs , chest, your eyes naturally stopped in his middle, making him grin.
"I love seeing you like this," he said, eyes glazing over your body as he climbed on top of you. Jaehyun spread your legs wider, chuckling softly when you jumped underneath him. He lines himself with you, rubbing his tip against your folds slowly as he watches you with lidded eyes."Do you want this as much as I do?"
Before you could even get out an answer, he pushed himself in you slowly, the feeling of you around him making him hiss. You let out a strangled whimper, head falling back onto the mattress. "Yes," you nodded. "I want this so much."
Jaehyun thrusted in you long and slow, not wanting to end this too quickly. He wanted to be wrapped up like this with you forever, skin on skin, listening to your heart beat, taking in every single breath. He was completely wrapped up in your body, scent, sound that he didn't hear knocking on the door. Not until you spoke.
"J-Jaehyun, someone's knocking," you said panicked but all he did was look down at you with a smile, continuing his pace.
"Don't worry about it," he said softly.
"Your majesty, there's someone here to see you," Bailey said from outside the door.
"Tell them I'm busy and I'll be out in a minute," he yelled back, hands still on your body. Turning his attention back to you, he notices the dress in your brows, giving away your worries.
"Stop worrying," he whispered, kissing you. "Just be quiet for me."
Jaehyun started thrusting in your faster, the crease in your brows depending as he went deep into you. You were a mess. You bit your lip hard, trying to keep yourself from making any unbecoming sounds after he told you to quiet, but Jaehyun had no idea how good you felt at the moment. Sweat collecting on your face, body as hot as a stove as he continued to drive himself into you.
Reaching up, you pulled him down to your body kissing him hard, his mouth collecting your moans to muffle them. His hips moved melodically, making you pull away from his lip and whimpers against his mouth. You opened your eyes to see him staring right at you, his pretty face glistening with sweat. Jaehyun rested his forehead against yours, eyes never leaving you as his thrust became more erratic.
"I love you so much," he groaned softly. He took one of your hands from his neck, placing it between the both of you. "Touch yourself, let yourself go for me darling."
"Jaehyun, oh God." His name fell from your mouth like water as you rubbed your clit along with his thrust. You pulsed around him, squeezing around his cock over and over and over again. And for some reason, despite your protest from the last time, you didn't want him to pull out.
You wanted him, all of him. You know how wrong it is, to have the children of a married man. The prince's bastard children. But in the moment it felt so good, so right. But you can't have that, not now, not ever.
You came hard around him, your choked moans erupting from your throat louder than you hoped. Jaehyun didn't seem to care, still thrusting into your sensitive hole. You were weak, unable to keep yourself quiet any longer. Your whines and whimpers filled the space, body still tangled in his.
"Tell me you love me," he said in your ear.
Your brain was so foggy, pleasure filling every thought in your mind. "I love you," you moaned breathlessly.
Jaehyun's orgasm crashed into him, the man pulling out of you just in time making sure to make the same mistake he did a week ago. He held onto you tight, grip so tight on your waist it stung. He tried to hold himself up, but he was so weak at the moment he crashed right on top of you. But you didn't mind. You basked in his warmth, your breaths matching his as the both of you came down from your highs.
A couple of beats of silence passed by before anyone spoke. "I love you Y/N," he said against your skin.
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Lots of time has passed and you haven't heard from or spoken to Jaehyun. You've seen him in the halls of course, walking past or taking a peek out of the window. He looked good like always. Regal, handsome, yours. He wasn't yours though, he was Rose's. He was her's and despite telling yourself that it was never going to be you, you hated it.
You tried not to hate it, but it became increasingly difficult seeing them together, playing house when you knew they disliked each other so much. Working so closely with Rose and over hearing her chats with the ton didn't make it easier. She didn't care how badly she talked about anything in front of these women. Calling other maids names, being rude to you, sometimes lying to make her life as queen look better than it actually was.
Unfortunately for you, you couldn't rest on this night. You and the rest of the staff were running around the palace for the current ball taking place on the palace grounds. You wanted to focus so badly on your task but every time you see Jaehyun, you want to run to him. Good thing he gave you a note saying to meet him at 12. It was now 11:55, so you were on your way sneaking away from the party of nobles and royals.
You made haste quickly. No one would notice you were gone, guests were half way drunk, other maids had their hands full, guards watching the perimeter like hawks. You didn't see Jaehyun, assuming he was at the meeting spot. Rose was strangely away, but you thought nothing of it. Slipping past the crowd of people was like second nature. You walked into the palace and went straight up the stairs. Your footsteps were quiet as there was supposed to be no one there at the moment.
Your senses were heightened, not wanting to get caught in the empty hallway. But you noticed something strange. Rose's bedroom door was open. No one should've been there at the moment. You know who shouldn't check, every second away from Jaehyun means less and less time with him, despite wanting space. But you walked in against your better judgment.
And there she was. Rose stood on her balcony silently gazing out at the ocean right across from her. Her hair blew in the wind, adding much to her beard in the scene already. She looked… sad, content. Like she was lost in thoughts. It was unlike her, but you couldn't help. All you had to do was slip back out and get to Jaehyun as soon as-
"Don't leave so quickly," she said, making you jump. "I promise you'll have your time with him."
She spoke quietly and softly as if she didn't want anyone else to hear. You had no idea what she was going to do or say, but stayed put nonetheless. You felt the cool air from the ocean on your skin, making you shiver as Rose turned to face you. The only other source of light was the candle near the doorway lighting you up.
"I don't hate you," she said, hands folded to her front. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting."
A few beats of silence passed before you spoke. "You have nothing to apologize for my grace."
You and her knew that was a lie. She'd been terrible to you since she found out about your relationship with the prince. You never expected her to apologize. Royals never apologize, feeling like they can say or do whatever because of their status.
"There's a lot of people relying on me. I'm sure you understand," she said softly. "My home country… everyday we are on the verge of war and I…"
"I, too, had someone."
Your breath hitched at her sudden confession, staring at the mix of longing and sadness in her eyes. Rose sighed, looking down at the ground as she swallowed hard. You never would've guessed she had any part of her life that wasn't shrouded by her responsibilities as a princess.
"What happened," you asked quietly.
"We were together, but…we knew it would never last." Rose released a shaky sigh, closing her eyes to try and stop herself from tearing up. "Everyday, I miss him."
"Did you love him?"
Rose opened her eyes, mouth parting slightly to answer, but all she did was keep quiet and nod. Her hands were still crossed, but she was squeezing them tightly trying not to get too emotional the moment.
"We were inseparable in that castle, just like you and Jaehyun. The both of you remind me of us so much, it makes me sad. My parents forbade me to marry a commoner and sent me here. I knew absolutely no one or anything about this place. Everyday I just want to be with him. When I see you and Jaehyun, I feel…. I don't know how I feel."
"I-I'm sorry," you say, making her scoff.
"Please do not pity me. I knew what my life would be as soon as I was out of the womb," she mumbled pointedly. "I just wish that he could be here, that's all. Even if I couldn't stay with him in the way that I wanted, I just wish he was near me."
"What's his name," you asked.
"John," she answered shortly. "He's a knight. Tall, strong, courageous."
You watched her soften when talking about him. If Jaehyun could tell people about the both of you, is this how he would be? You wondered if he would look as in love as Rose did at the moment. "Well, I'm sure John misses you also."
"I want him to miss me as much as I miss him, but the last time we saw each other…" Rose stopped talking, a frown on her lips as she recounted the memories of their last meeting. "I don't even know if he's a knight anymore."
"My grace, I'm sure whatever happened was not-"
"My parents - the king and queen - caught us Y/N," she said, a slight shadow of guilt slashing across her face.
You knew how serious this was, especially for a princess. Sleeping with a knight? If word got out, it would be the end of her. women were supposed to be angels, pure. For you, it didn't matter much, you were just a maid after all. But Rose knew what that could mean for her.
"I was too stupid to say no to his advances because I loved him so much and without thinking we… did something we weren't supposed to. It reminds me of you and Jaehyun."
You tilted your head not understanding her words. "I don't understand, my grace."
"Do you think people don't see the way you look at each other? The way his gaze lingers on you or how the two of you run off for minutes or hours at a time? I know you might think it's not that serious but once you're in deep, you can hardly tell when you should dig yourself out." Rose let out a frustrated sigh, groaning as her perfect princess stature melted away for a second. She rested her face in her hands, giving you a deep sigh. "What I'm trying to say is I barely know the both of you and I don't want you or him to end up like John and I. He watched me leave him for good because of a mistake we made together. Yes, I am jealous of you both but I am only a person."
"Princess, I understand. I-"
"No," she said sternly, taking a step towards you. "I know you think that because I told you this, you think you understand me but you don't. I am here in a place where I do not belong. I did not ask to be here. I am in a country that I know nothing about. I do not know the food, the customs, the people, let alone their royal family. I am here to prevent my home from being destroyed in a war. With you and Jaehyun running around, unable to bear a child, I cannot make sure that my country is safe. I cannot make sure that John is safe."
All her words hit you like a storm. You always understood that this marriage was hard for her, going from one place to another, but you never imagined that it would take this much of a toll on her. Rose always puts up a strong front, never allowing people to know or hear her weaknesses. Her reputation for being ice cold didn't just come from nowhere, but now you've seen a new side of her. You didn't know if it was caring or just pure panic. She was genuinely distraught about the possibility of not being able to have a child with the prince. And for the first time in a while, you felt for her. You pitied her.
"Princess," you called out, breaking the silence. "I fear the prince and I may have-"
"Enough." You turned around, startled, when seeing Jaehyun walking to the room. He grabbed your wrist, face lit with irritation. "I heard every word. Y/N, I need to speak to you now. Rose, I will speak to you later."
"Jaehyun–"
You didn't get much of a say in the matter as you dragged out of the room, the door slamming behind him. He pulled you down the hall in silence. His grip on your wrist tightened the faster he walked, both of your footsteps filling the silence. Jaehyun pulled you into the castle's library, which was very empty at the moment. The dust sparkled in the air, shining in the moonlight hiding behind the stained glass. It was dark, the only thing keeping you from bumping into a shelf was the tiny bit of light shining in the middle.
Jaehyun pulled you into an assortment of unorganized piles of books, moving through them like a maze as you tried your hardest to not trip over your own feet. He still hadn't said a word to you but you could tell he was furious. Jaehyun took you and pinned you against the shelf.
"What did I tell you?"
His voice was strangely calm, making you furrow your brows. You stared at him, analyzing his face. "Jaehyun, what are you talking about?"
"If I call for you, you must oblige," he said echoing his words from a while ago.
"Jaehyun, we were talking-"
"I don't care what you were doing. I don't want her putting strange thoughts in your head."
You scoffed, pushing his body away from yours. "She's not putting thoughts in my head. You seem to forget that I am my own person with my own thoughts."
"Y/N, I know you are your own person, but I worry that-"
"You worry what, hm? That I'll tell you we need time apart? That I'll end this for good and break your heart," you interrupt. You watch Jaehyun's exasperated expression fall flat.
"Well is that what you want? Do you want to end this and break my heart?"
"Goodness, Jaehyun, no I do not want to end this," you whined frustrated. "But we have not been careful. I tried to put up some kind of a wall between us but I love you too much."
"We have been careful Y/N. No one but my mother and Rose knows," he said, grabbing your hands, but you took them away from him.
"And do you think what happened in your office was us being careful? It was the day after your wedding and I could be pregnant right now," you said with a frown. "I will be thrown out of this castle and never see you again. Is that what you want?"
"I won't let that happen," he declared. Jaehyun sounded confident but he clearly lacked the resolve. It would happen whether he wanted it to or not. There wasn't much he could do but cherish his time with you and that's exactly what he was going to do.
"You know you can't do that. You know you have no control over that. This is a mess, all of this is-"
Jaehyun grabbed your face, kissed you hard, shutting you up. You stumbled, back hitting the bookshelf as he caressed your cheeks with his thumbs. You began to melt into his touch, letting your eyes shut as you kissed him back softly. Jaehyun pulled away slowly, watching you open your eyes to look at him.
"I don't want to fight anymore," he mumbled. "I'm sorry for everything. I just don't want to fight with you. I love you."
"I understand. Don't blame yourself." You looked at him with a slight pout, hurt filling your heart seeing him so distraught.
"It's my fault. All of this is my fault. If these really are my last moments with you, can we spend them doing something else instead." Jaehyun couldn't control himself, eyes flickering to your lips to your neck.
Jaehyun was clearly not in the right frame of mind and neither were you, so you obliged despite the little voice in your head telling you no. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him to you, kissing him deeply. Jaehyun followed your rhythm, arms wrapping around your waist. His lips molded with your naturally, sighing softly finally feeling the weight being lifted off his chest.
You slowly took your arms from around his neck, lips never parting as you began to remove his jacket. Jaehyun took his arms from around you and took the fabric off. You made your way to his waist, unbuttoning the tiny objects. Jaehyun smiled against your lips knowing you always struggled with his buttons.
"Allow me," he mumbled, removing your hands. Jaehyun unbuttoned his clothes with ease, lips still on yours the whole way through. You reached behind you removing your apron, letting it drop on the ground. Jaehyun pulled away from you, spinning your body around without saying a word. His fingers worked on the buttons, eyes boring into the back of your neck. The tension and the sound of fabric moving was enough to fill the silence. Once he finished, he pulled the dress off your shoulders gently, taking in the way his fingertips gilded against your skin.
Your breath hitched as you turned your head to face him. He stared at you with heavy lidded eyes, pupils dilated with lust. He kissed you, hands still on your dress. He pulled the sleeves off your arms, pushing it directly to the floor. Pulling away from him, you stepped out of the puddle of clothes. You turned to him, pulling his body to yours. Jaehyun placed his hands on your waist, squeezing it softly as he kissed your neck. You reached up sighing blissfully at the feeling of his lips on your skin and pulled the shirt off him, leaving his upper half completely bare.
Jaehyun shuddered under your touch, pulling away and watching you as you ran your hands down his chest. Your chest moved rapidly, heart racing being in this compromising position.
"You're so pretty," he whispered, kissing your forehead.
You didn't say anything, just simply stood there with begging eyes.
"What do you want me to do," he said, eyes darting all over your clothed body.
"Anything. Do anything to me."
Without being told twice, Jaehyun dropped to his knees in front of you. There was something so unnatural about seeing him on his knees. Jaehyun would never be on his knees for anyone or anything, his pride would never allow it. He's never begged or cried for anything in his life being a man of great power and influence. But you're different. He'd gladly beg and cry for you. He'd kiss your feet if you asked.
You watch him sink to his knees, gulping deeply as he looks up at you with an intense stare. The library is still fairly dark, but you can see him clearly. Something about him being on his knees for you made your mind race, making you grow hotter and hotter.
"I want to taste you Y/N," he said quietly. "Can I?"
You nodded, hands clinging to the only other clothing on your body. You pulled the undergarment up, exposing your body to the man below you. Jaehyun took your hips in his hands, fingertips tickling you as he ran them up and down your skin. Jaehyun pressed small intimate kisses on your thighs watching you through his long lashes. You were breathing heavily, so turned on by the feel of his lips on your legs.
Jaehyun continued to stare up at you as he nudged himself between your legs, licking your pussy softly. Your body jerked, the feeling sending a familiar sensation through your body. He licked again, digging his tongue into you slightly. Jaehyun smirked to himself when you spread your legs wider. He took his hand from your hips to your waist, caressing every inch of you while licking you over and over again.
Jaehyun's tongue moved skillfully, relishing in the sounds you let out above him. You tasted so good to him, he was definitely addicted and he knew it. He needed this all the time, to be under you, pleasuring you and making you feel good. He ate you out passionately, licking and sucking on every bit of you.
"W-wait, do that again," you moaned quietly.
"This?" Jaehyun wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking it. His brows furrowed feeling your legs trembling. The sight of you alone would make him cum, but he wouldn't mind that at all.
"God, yes," you whimpered. You pulled your slip up further, hands tightening on the fabric as you watched him with glassy eyes.
"You like it this much?" Without letting you answer, he sucked your clit hard. Jaehyun's cock jumped in his pants hearing your loud whine echo in the dark room. He took a hand off your waist, fingers trailing down your stomach right above your pussy. Jaehyun removed his mouth from your clit only to lift the hood with his thumb, staring at the swollen bud with a smug smile.
"I love this pretty clit," he muttered under his breath. Jaehyun took his other hand off your waist as he flicked his tongue on your clit, fingers creeping up your legs. It was all too much, every word, movement, breath. You were overstimulated like hell, but you enjoyed it.
You felt Jaehyun begin to rub your inner thigh gently, biting your lip softly. Jaehyun slowly pushed two fingers into your soaking core, making you gasp softly at the sudden feeling. Unconsciously, you began to move your hips in his mouth and fingers. Jaehyun furrowed his brows, fingers pumping in you trying to keep up your pace. He stopped flicking your clit, placing a soft kiss on the sensitive spot"And to think you thought you could stay away from me," he said, kissing your thighs. "Do you think you still can?"
"N-no," you stuttered, hips still grinding at a steady pace. Sweat glistened on your forehead, heavy breathing and soft whimpers flooding Jaehyun's ears and all he can think about is how wet, warm, and tight you are around his fingers.
Jaehyun swallows hard, his erection becoming painfully tight underneath his pants. But he can't get up just yet. You look beautiful from this view and he wishes he could be here all the time. He begins to like and suck your clit again, making you whine loudly.
"Cum for me. Cum on my tongue and fingers."
He kept sucking your clit, pumping his fingers in you faster than your pace. The squelching noises of your dripping cunt rang through his ears.
"I'm so close," you whined. You let go of your dress with one hand, reaching down to grab his hair. You pulled him closer to your body, leaning back onto the shelf. The smell of books and sex intoxicated your nose, senses at an all time high as you began to feel yourself come closer and closer.
Jaehyun felt you squeeze around his fingers, eyes stuck on your face as you came above him. Your breathy whimpers and furrowed brows turning him on even more. You let go of his hair, body shaking from the intense orgasm. Jaehyun stood up, fingers still inside you. He kissed you hard, the taste of yourself on his lips tongue exciting you. Jaemin pulls his fingers out of you, pulling away from your lips as he stuck them in his own mouth, sucking you cum and arousal off the digits.
"Jaehyun, don't do things like that," you say, heat creeping across your skin as you watch him.
Jaehyun chuckles to himself, your words moving through him like air. In a split second you, he forcefully turns you around so that you're pressed against the case. Your face smudged on the backs and fronts of books and his hands pulled up your dress, all in a silent swift motion.
"You need me," he said quietly but sternly in your ear.
You remained silent, unable to concentrate on giving an answer unbuttoning his pants. Jaehyun pulled his hard cock out, already leaking precum. Jaehyun grabs your hips, pulling them closer to him. Taking his cock in his hand, he lines himself with your entrance.
"You love me," he whispered, sinking himself into your body with ease. Your heart beats fast as your head falls back onto his shoulder, ass arching against him in the best way possible. Jaehyun's chest was pressed against your back, forcing you to feel his sporadic breathing as you squeezed around him.
"Don't ever try and run away from me," he says in a deep, low tone. Jaehyun thrust in you slowly and steadily, savoring every single second. "You said we needed a break, but here we are" – he kisses the back of your ear, his breathy moans making your heart flutter – "once again pressed against each other."
Jaehyun's words should've alarmed you. You should've wanted this to stop as soon as he opened his mouth, but every word he said was true. You can't stay away from him. You're not as strong as you thought you were and probably never will be. You shivered feeling his fingers pull down the thick strap of your slip, his lips kissing your shoulder softly.
"You like this don't you? The sneaking around, the sweet things I tell you, the sacrifices I'm willing to make." Jaehyun dings his fingers into your sides, pulling you closer to him as he thrust deeper and deeper into you. Your shaky breaths turn into moans, brows scrunched as you pressed your face against the shelf. "Say it. Say you like it."
"I-I like it," you moan breathlessly.
He begins to thrust in you faster, the rhythm in his hips making you close your eyes. "I love you so much," he says, lips brushing on the lip of your ear. The warmth from his body wrapped around you, allowing you to melt into his body. Your hands held onto the structure in front of you, fingers gripping onto whatever was left of the book covered shelves.
"Jaehyun, oh my God," you whimpered softly. Jaehyun thrusted into you harder, the movement making the old wooden case creak, the sound echoing in the room.
"You're stuck with me, my love. How does that make you feel," he groaned softly. Jaehyun wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing you even closer.
"So good.."
Jaehyun moved his hand towards the middle of your legs, fingers rubbing your clit at a steady pace. He moved this other hand off your waist, placing it on top of yours that was clinging to the shelf. Clasping your hands together, his head drops in the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking the skin gently. Your hips moved with him, whines and groans filling the space.
"Jaehyun..shit.."
A dark chuckle rang in your ear, instantly turning you on even more. That was the first time you've ever sworn in front of him. You always kept up good manners whenever you were around him that he never even knew you swore in the first place. He took his hand off yours, turning your chin to face him. Jaehyun kissed you, hard and sloppy which was so out of the norm for him. He never did anything sloppy, not even the way he went down on you was sloppy.
"I'm about to cum," you whimpered on his lips.
"Hold on for me. I want us to cum together." His voice was deliciously raspy and deep as he pounded into you. You loved moments like this. The moments where your both were so wrapped in each other you forgot the kind of situation you were in. The moment where no one and anything else mattered.
He kept thrusting, his low grunts sending a wave of emotions through your body. That's when you felt your thoughts shift in the most surprising way possible. You wanted all of him. You needed all of him. "Cum in me. I..I need it."
Jaehyun didn't question you or have any doubts. All he did was kiss behind your ear, his soft raspy moans wrapping around you. You felt the muscles in your stomach get tight, your whine and whimpers getting higher in pitch. 
"That's it Y/N, keep going just like that." Jaehyun held your waist tight, gripping you tight as you bounced on him meeting his movements. You reach back, hand on the back of his neck as you pull him to your mouth kissing him hard. And that's when the both of you feel it, both becoming undone in the intense wave of your orgasms. Loud moans and heavy breathing filled the empty space, the echo bouncing off the walls. 
Tired and worn out, both of you stood there. In the silence of each other's heavy breathing, choosing not to speak about the fact that he came inside you once again. You just wanted to feel like it was real for a second, because if you really were pregnant, it would just mean that illusion would be broken. And now the possibility of it happening now or later was too near, but that wasn't on your mind. All that was on your mind was Jaehyun, how he looked, how he walked, how he talked. The both of you stayed this way for a little while longer, taking in each other, pretending that everything was okay and perfect. 
But what neither of you knew was that things were about to get more complicated than either of you could've imagined. 
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Sick.
You feel sick. 
It's not like you've never felt sick before, but you had no reason to to feel sick. You haven't drank, since you're not allowed to, all of the food was fine, you didn't have a fever, you didn't have any other sickness. But somehow you felt nauseous, your stomach turning and breath getting heavy. You had already used yourself from the rest of the kitchen And was now in a bathroom, kneeling in front of a toilet. 
"This cannot be happening," you mumbled to yourself, clutching your abdomen. You felt your throat turn hot as you began to heave into the toilet. You committed hard, your entire body shaking as you gripped the bowl. The smell was putrid making your frown as you pushed yourself back into your feet. 
Without thinking, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You looked like you always did, but something felt different. All the events that have taken place within the recent weeks plague your mind making your frown deeper. You were disappointed in yourself. Disappointed in how easy you let yourself be taken by him. Disappointed in how much you liked it. You felt remorseful for your future self because you had a feeling something wasn't right.
You shake the thoughts from your head and wash your mouth out diligently before stepping out of the bathroom. You opened the door walking out quickly only to slam into another hard surface. Completely disoriented, you stumble back not understanding what you could've walked into. 
“Apologies, my lady. I did not see you coming.” 
The voice made you freeze, your eyes widened as you looked back at him. You were silent, not realizing how truly startled you looked to him. It was almost as if he knew what you were thinking, what was happening. What was going to happen. The longer you stared, the more shaken you became. You really could be pregnant with the child of the man you're in love with, but why didn't you feel happy about it? 
“I'm sorry, is everything alright,” Jaehyun questioned, giving you a look of concern. He reached out to place a hand on your shoulder but you moved away before he could touch you. 
“I'm fine. Thank you, your grace.” 
Jaehyun watched you in confusion when you gave him a slight bow, walking past him in a hurry. But he's a resilient man. He won't let you get away that easily. Jaehyun follows you, catching up to you when you grab the handle to the kitchen door. Jaehyun's rough hands wrap around your wrist, making you both freeze. 
“Talk to me,” he says, brows knitted. 
“What are you doing? We are in a hallway,” you whispered in annoyance. 
“I'm not going to allow you to avoid me again. Tell me what's going on.” His tone was hard and stern, but his eyes were soft. His grip loosened as he stood there watching your expression soften into worry. 
“I can not tell you until I'm sure,” you said looking at your feet. You looked at him, a small frown on the corner of his mouth. 
“Do you not trust me?” 
You sigh, pulling your wrist from his hand. “It is not you I don't trust, it is myself. Please let me figure all this out. I will tell you.” 
Jaehyun gave you an unsure look, his eyes narrowing at your words. 
“I promise,” you said, placing your hands on your heart. Just then, you heard footsteps, and immediately withdrew your sentimental look, straightening up in front of the prince. You folded your hands in front of yourself, looking at him emotionless. Just as you bow and come up, Rose walks down the hall, looking directly at you.
She walks up to the both of you, standing in the distance you created. “Great. I've been looking for you,” she said looking at Jaehyun, barely paying you any mind. “I figured you'd be nearby.” 
“Has something happened,” he asked, raising a brow. He shot you a small glance, needing to look at you for some comfort. 
“Yes it is about our standing with the public..” she took his arm, dragging him away from you with haste, but it relieved you. You wanted to be alone at the moment, not around anyone who knew what was going on, or around any drama. You were stressed and it wasn't going to get better with their problems being shoved in your face.
But now you were alone, not one else to distract you or purge the impending doom that plagued your mind. And that made you ever more sick. 
-
White.
Clear.
Clean.
Those were all things you did not want to see, all signs of the thing you feared the most. You had no time to sit and cry and grovel, you had to act accordingly.
Breathe. Breathe.
But you can't breathe. You feel like the walls are closing in. The pretty sunlight shining through your small window is completely contrasting the metaphorical dark cloud hanging over your head. Everyone that knows you thinks you're calm and collected and can handle anything with ease. But this might be the one time you lose your mind.
You didn't even realize that tears were streaming down your face till you moved to wipe them, completely unaware of how long you've been standing there. There was no way you could have a child, let alone with the prince. The reality of never seeing or speaking to him again was definite and there was nothing you could do about it. But you had to suck it up and tell him anyway.
Wiping your face clear of tears, you leave your room, dusting the nonexistent dust from your dress. These next couple of days would likely be the last time you would ever wear it. You never really liked the outfit but grew used to it after a while.
Soon, you made it to the main hallway, walking through like normal. Walking up the stairs to the second floor, you feel yourself becoming nauseous the closer you get to Jaehyun's office. You can't tell if you're experiencing pregnancy symptoms or if you just aren't ready to tell him.
But you couldn't wait now. You were already in front of his office door by the time the thoughts in your brain were done racing. Your hand trembled as you raised it, hesitating to knock on the door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
You heard shuffling behind the door, gulping at what was to come later. The door flung open, only for you to be faced with a very irritated Rose, Jaehyun sitting on the couch in the background. Your breath hitched, eyes going back and forth between the two of them. What were they doing? What were they talking about? Why should it matter, she was his wife and you weren't.
“You have impeccable timing, don't you,” Rose spoke, breaking the silence between the two of you. You glanced at Jaehyun who was looking at you past Rose. Your heart pumped watching a smile spread on his lips. It hurts.
Rose moved further into the room, her extravagant dress taking up so much space. You walked in, shutting the door behind you. Every nerve in your body prickled with suspense, every second rose spent glaring at you made you want to run away and hide. You weren't scared of her, but you were scared of her reaction.
“Why are you here,” she said, crossing her arms across her chest.
You needed to answer honestly. “I came to see Jaehyun.”
“His grace,'' Rose corrected, a scowl on her face. “in my presence, you will address him properly.”
“Rose, it's okay,” Jaehyun said, rising to his feet.
“No it's not. I don't care for whatever you two have. Around me, keep it at bay,” she argued, rolling her eyes.
You glanced at Jaehyun who was staring at your lips. It was obvious he wanted to kiss you, and you wanted to kiss him too. Jaehyun finally felt like the two of you were beginning to patch whatever issue you had, but he hadn't been alone with you since the day in the hall. As understanding of the situation that he is, he wishes you could just talk to him and not run and hide.
“I-I need to speak to him. Privately.”
Rose glared at you and then at Jaehyun, eyes shifting around the room. Your hands were sweating and trembling. This is not how you wanted this to go. You just wanted to tell Jaehyun and he tell Rose. Goodness, you felt like you were going to vomit again, the nerves now making you feel nauseous and weak.
“I'm not going to leave,”Rose declared.
Jaehyun groaned, pushing his hair back annoyed. “Rose, give us a moment-”
“No I will not. My husband and the woman he's sleeping with are constantly sneaking around and I won't stand for it anymore,” she said, voice becoming louder.
“I understand you dont like this but please, just respect what I have with her,” he said, getting loud with her.
“Don't you dare raise your voice at me,” she said. Rose then directed her attention to you, turning to you with an angry expression. “I'm done with you and him hiding things from me. Whatever you need to tell him, I'm sure you can say it in front of me.”
“Why do you insist on making things difficult,” Jaehyun said through gritted teeth. “You have told me many times you don't want to hear or see us together and now you're demanding we include you in private conversations.”
“Jaehyun, I don't need-”
“You keep quiet.” Rose took a step towards you, making Jaehyun's ears red from anger. “I don't want to hear a word from you. All you've done was mess up this damn marriage from the start-”
“You say that as if you wanted it,” Jaehyun interrupted.
The two went on for a while, leaving you standing at the door completely overwhelmed by all the screaming. Rose was upset. Jaehyun was angry. It was a screaming match all because of your presence. You shouldn't have come. You should've just went back to your room when you saw her open the door. But this had to come to an end.
Breathe. Breathe.
“I'm pregnant.”
Your soft voice stopped the arguing, both Jaehyun and Rose looking at you as if they heard you wrong.
“What,” he asked, gulping.
“I'm.. pregnant,” you repeat.
Rose said nothing, just walked to Jaehyun and slapped him. The sound echoed through the silent room. Time came to a standstill, the sound of heavy breathing echoing through the room. Adrenaline rushed through your veins, the desire to protect him not going past anything but a desire. His cheek was red as he stood there silently staring at the ground, taking in everything that just took place.
“I'm sorry,” he said after a few beats of silence.
She ignored him, turning to you. Rose took two steps in front of you and you closed your eyes. You knew she was going to hit you so all you could do was brace for impact. But too many seconds passed and you felt nothing, so you opened your eyes only to face a tearful woman.
“I want you out by the end of the week,” she said, voice shaking.
“She's not going anywhere.”
Both you and Rose turn to Jaehyun, your heart pumping so loud you're afraid it would come out of your chest.
“She cannot stay here. This is not up for debate,” Rose said calmly.
“She will stay. I forbid her from leaving.” Jaehyun was willing to start a war for you. He would do everything in his power to keep you from leaving the castle, pregnant or not.
Rose turned to him slowly, face twisting in anger and irritation. “You have made a mockery out of me too many times. I gave up everything to be here and the one thing I asked you not to do, you did anyway.”
“My grace, w-we didn't know this would happen,” you said almost in a whisper.
Rose turned to you, giving you a chuckle in disbelief. “Didn't know? How could you not know? You both are running around here fucking like rabbits when you think no one is watching, but you didn't know?”
That was the one truth you didn't want to bear. All those times you and Jaehyun snuck off in each other's company ended up with you sleeping with him. You knew it was a bad idea, every single time, but it felt so right. All those times he would look at you as if you were the only thing in the world with protecting, you were going to miss him.
“I'm sorry,” you whispered.
Rose scoffed, staring at you in disbelief. “Don't pretend that you care. Don't pretend that you didn't want this.”
“I didn't want this. I am not ready to be a mother.”
Jaehyun looked at you, his stoic expression beginning to crack the more you spoke. He wanted to take your hand and run. Just run far away from this castle, this life, everything. “You will stay until you birth our child,” he said.
“No she will not.” Rose raised her voice, “I'm sick of watching you two prance around here, living out your fairy tale love when I couldn't have mine.”
“And why should that be my fault,” Jaehyun snapped. “I'm sorry you couldn't stay with whoever you wanted back home. I'm sorry you were forced into this marriage. But..” Jaehyun looked at you and back at Rose, sorrow filling his heart realizing the difficult position he put you in. “I love her, and I refuse to let her go.”
“You are the most selfish man I've ever met,” she said, giving him a dry laugh. “We both know our fate but you refuse to change. I have tried everything to make this work despite not wanting to be here and you've run circles around this palace to avoid them.”
“I have sacrificed so much-”
“Sacrifice,” Rose interrupted, scoffing. “Do you know anything about sacrifice? I was forced to leave my home to prevent a war my parents started. The only man that has ever loved me is somewhere dead or alive and I do not know. I had to marry you against my will and have to have a child with you to maintain my status. This is the life I've always known, and you dare speak of sacrifices. I sacrifice my freedom, body, and sanity everyday. And you sacrifice what? Your feelings?”
Jaehyun stood there silent. There was nothing he could say because she was right. “I'm sorry for any chaos I've caused, but all I ask-”
“I'll go.” That was the first thing you've said in a while, making both of their heads turn. “I-ill go. I knew this would be my fate if it happened, so I'll leave.”
Jaehyun's heart dropped. It felt like his whole world was crashing and he could do nothing about it. “Y/N, please you don't have to-”
“Jaehyun, I will go. I have to go eventually. You know that,” you said almost in a whisper, voice cracking under the pressure that weighed on your chest. Tears pooled in the corner of your eyes, but you didn't let them see as you faced the floor.
“Be out by the end of the week.”
You looked up, brows furrowed in sadness at Rose’s nonchalant disposition. “I have no family. I need more than a week.”
“Then leave the country! Go on a voyage and explore other lands! Just be out of my castle!”
Rose left the room with a loud slam of the door. Jaehyun didn't even give a second after she left to pull you into his arms, hugging you tight as if you would leave him immediately. And in his arms is where you broke down, allowing yourself to cry. You cried for him, you cried for yourself, you cried for your soon to be child, you even cried for Rose. Your life was in disarray, and there was nothing you could do it about. Nothing Jaehyun could do about it.
“It's okay,” he said in a quiet soothing voice. Jaehyun stroked the back of your head softly, holding you tight.
You and him stood there for a while, holding each other in silence. It was strange, the way he just gave up and didn't fight for much longer, but there are some things you can't fight even if you try. After some time, you both calmed down. You wanted a distraction, needed a distraction.
“Jaehyun,” you breathed out.
He loosened his hold on you, letting you look up at him. Starry eyes, flushed face, pretty lips. You were his only dream in this world of nightmares. “I'm sorry Y/N. I'm sorry for all of this.”
“Never mind all of that,” you whispered, forcing a smile. You hoped he could see your sadness or feel the ping in your heart.
“If I had just… This is all my fault,” he repeated. Jaehyun swallowed hard, feeling your hand come in contact with his face, caressing his cheek softly. “I don't want you to leave.”
“You act as if I'm leaving immediately,” you laugh, trying to lighten the somber mood. “I'm still here, and we can make the most of it.”
“How?”
You didn't say a word. All you did was kiss him softly, and the rest of the day was history.
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You decided to do what Rose suggested and leave the country. You didn't know what would await you out of the land and across the sea but you were ready for it. The one thing you weren't ready for was leaving Jaehyun. And he wasn't either. It was apparent by how he was basically clinging to you every second he could get, never letting you out of his sight.
Despite him being so close, you hadn't yet told him of your plan and today was the day you'd be leaving. It was early morning and you already had your things packed. You told him to come to your room at noon, and just like expected, he knocked on your door right on time.
You stood up from your bed, exhaling the breath you didn't know you were holding in before opening the door. And there he was, as regal as always. Jaehyun stood there, eyes unable to leave your body realizing you were wearing regular clothes. He's never seen you in anything but your maid outfit, and this just makes him fall for you more.
“Hello, my love,” he said, giving you a sad smile. “Today is the day I suppose.” Jaehyun walks in, eyes immediately going to your cases that are packed with your belongings. His heart hurts seeing the signs of your soon to be disappearance.
“Yes, and that is why I need you to sit and listen to me.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, raising a brow as he sat in your bed, waiting for you to speak. “what is it?”
“I am going away,” you said.
“Yes. I know this.”
You sighed, hands playing with the buttons on your dress. “On a ship Jaehyun.”
His face twisted into an emotion you couldn't place. Hurt. Nausea. Disbelief. Maybe it was none of those, maybe it was all, but you didn't know how to combat it. You didn't know what to say or think or do. All that you knew was that he didn't like what just came out of your mouth.
“Jaehyun,” you called out, trying to break the silence that stood between you. “Please say something.”
But he didn't. He sat there in silence wondering where everything went wrong, what he could've done differently, how he would have fought for you harder. He sat wondering if he would ever see you again, or if you would ever want to see him again. Jaehyun didn't have it in him to shed a tear, feeling himself slowly go numb right before you.
“Jaehyun,” you call again, voice shaking in fear. “I know this is sudden and last minute, but I'm making this decision for me…”
“I'm not mad,” he said quietly. “Just a bit shocked.”
“I'm… I'm sorry.” You sit a distance away from him on your bed, eyes staring at your hands.
“So this means I'll never see you again,” he mumbled, a permanent frown on his face.
You turn to him, brows for rowing in sadness. “You'll see me again.”
“When Y/N,” he sighed in frustration. “In another 10, 50 years? I can't wait that long. My heart won't allow it.”
“Well neither can mine,” you argue back, body now fully turned to him. “My heart can't allow myself to see you married and having children with another woman. I can't let myself see someone else live out the dream I so desperately wanted. I have to get away.”
“But… Why now? Why leave me now?” Jaehyun scooted closer to you, taking your hands in his.
“This isn't about you. This is about me.”
“What about us?”
“Jaehyun can't you see? there is no us,” you say. The look of shock and hurt slashed across his face, almost making you regret your words. “there could never be an “us.” That's why I must leave.”
“I'll go with you,” he says.
You let out a small laugh, the absurd statement amusing you at the difficult time. “Jaehyun, you cannot come with me.”
“Then what must I do to make sure that there is still an “us?” Should I renounce my role as the prince of this kingdom? Should I beg for you to stay?”
“No, no Jaehyun- stop this at once. Stand up!”
Jaehyun was now kneeling in front of you, eyes staring wildly into your eyes. He had so much emotion he barely knew what he was doing at this point. All his self respect ran from his body as soon as he walked into the room, he didn't care for titles or status, just you and him.
“If this won't work, then what will?”
You open your mouth, but then close it as you look at him. He didn't like this look. It was full of pity. You pitied him, and that's something he never wanted from you. He always wanted to look strong for you, but now that you were going to be gone in a couple of hours, he was desperate.
“I'm not staying no matter what you try,” you said, watching his hopeful expression deflate. “I will not grow a child under a roof where the man I love is with someone else and that woman would rather see my head on a stick.”
Jaehyun stood back up with a sigh, eyes never leaving your relaxed figure. If these were his last moments with you, he needed to make this count. Time was running out and he needed to make sure you left with only him on your mind. He needed to remember how your hands felt on his skin, how your lips felt on his. He wanted to be etched into every crevice of your mind 5 years from now.
“We don't have much time left and I don't want to argue with you,” he stated. “you want to leave, very well. But promise me we will see each other again.”
A surprise gasp escaped your lips. “Jaehyun, now you know-”
“Please, just promise me,” he said.
“I promise,” you said softly. “We will meet again. I promise. A year from now, maybe 50, we will see each other again.”
Jaehyun grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet. Before you could gauge the moment, his lips crashed onto yours, the taste to honey so familiar to you lingering on your tongue. “Never forget me,” he said against your lips. He held onto your clothes tight, pulling your body closer to his.
“One last time,” he said softly.
You swallowed hard, eyes fluttering open. “I don't have much time left.”
Jaehyun gave you a soft smile, his gaze remaining as gentle as ever. “Don't worry about that. Just worry about me and you, okay?”
For once you decided to let yourself relax and listen, nodding to his words. You no longer had anything to lose since losing everything already. So against your better judgment, you nodded, following his pace as he kissed you deeply over and over. Jaehyun wasted no time, magnetic pull on his hands to the buttons on your dress. Only difference was that they were in the front now.
His fingers worked on the tiny buttons, lips smirking against yours feeling your impatience. The amount of time it was taking him was agonizing to you, but secretly you were happy he was taking his time. While you wanted to rip the bandage off, you also wanted to savor him.
“I would give anything for you to miss that ship,” he said, unlatching the last button. Jaehyun pulled the sleeves of your dress off your arms, kissing down to your neck.
“Please,” you whisper, breath hitching as you feel your dress drop to the floor. “Don't make this harder than it has to be.”
Jaehyun gave you a soft chuckle, kissing back up your neck and jawline. “Sit down.”
You did as he said, his hooded eyes staring at you. Jaehyun unbuttoned his shirt, fingers moving so delicately. He pulled the fabric off his body swiftly, placing the shirt on your neatly made bed. Without saying a word, he gets on his knees, the action making you gulp.
“I'm going to miss you,” he said softly, hands rubbing your legs. You couldn't say anything, not when he was pressing kisses on your thigh, down to your knees.
“I'm going to miss every part of you..” Jaehyun spread your thighs, pushing your undergarments away. “You'll miss me too?”
You nod.
“Words, Y/N. Speak to me.” He took your leg, placing it on his strong shoulder. His hands took your sides, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed.
“Y-yes, I'll miss you.” Your body shivered at the feeling of his lips on your skin as he kissed your inner thigh, core aching for contact that he won't give.
He kisses your clit, eyes staring at you from below. He thinks he will remember this for the rest of his life, the way you look above him, the soft sighs that leave your lips when he touches you, the way your skin tastes.
“I'll miss you ” he whispers, placing another kiss. “The way you taste” – kiss – “the way you feel” – kiss – “the way you sound.”
Jaehyun held your body as his lips and tongue kept going at your clit, enjoying every single moan you let out. You let yourself shed the last bit of control you had and tangled your hands in his hair. You were going to miss his pretty brown curly hair. Your body shudders at the soft and slow movements, mind and body drifting into a state of relaxation and forgetting about having to be at the dock in some time.
Jaehyun watched you watch him, your glossy eyes staring into his as you allowed yourself one last moment of recklessness. Your soft moans were music to his ears. Jaehyun sucked your clit softly, needing more from you. The feeling made your legs try to come together, but with one on his shoulder, all he could do was chuckle at the unsuccessful attempt.
“J-Jaehyun,” you whined softly, the sound of his name on your lips ending a tingle up his spine.
“You like this” he says, voice slightly muffled.
He watched you nod frantically, tongue licking up your arousal. “How much Y/N? Tell me.”
“So so much.”
Jaehyun's hands gripped your sides harder and began to let his mouth work on you harder. He was rock hard in his pants, erection straining against the fabric. He wanted so badly to lay you on your back and take you, but you looked so angelic above him. He sucked on your clit again, bringing out whines of his name over and over.
“God, you sound so pretty,” he mumbled. “I want you to remember this every time you think of me.”
Jaehyun was always so good with words, knowing exactly what to say to make your heart flutter. “I want you to think of me every time you touch yourself..”
You couldn't even speak, the pleasure filling your body quickly as he began to eat you out with much more vigor. He barely touched you, but you were so close already.
“I will,” you said softly.
“God I love you so much..” Jaehyun flicked his tongue faster, making you breathe harder and faster. The leg that was on his shoulder trembled, heel pulling him closer to your body. “You're close aren't you?”
You nodded, brows furrowing as you closed your eyes, throwing your head back. “Keep going, just like that… I'm so close.” Your hips rocked against his face, his tongue now inside you as his nose bumped your clit with each movement.
In just a couple of seconds you came, legs shaking and moans flowing into his ears. Jaehyun groaned softly, his saliva and your arousal mixing with every lick. His eyes never left yours, your expression so perfect and sounds so addicting he couldn't stop even when you were gasping for air from the overstimulation.
“It's okay, love. I got you,” he said, watching you grip your bed hard. “One more time. Do it for me.”
Your body was on fire, all senses heightened because of the man in front of you. Jaehyun didn't let up even when you couldn't speak and you loved it. The only things leaving your mouth were moans and incoherent babbles. One hand tangled in his hair, gripping it harder as you pulled him closer.
“I'm cumming,” you said in a soft gasp.
The noises that filled the room were sinful, making you cringe but turning you on even more. His eyes never left yours as you came, hands still molding your body like clay. You let go of his hair, breathing heavily as you attempted to recover from all the pleasure you received. Jaehyun put your leg down gently, lifting himself from your body. Your face went hot seeing the mess you made, arousal on his lips, chin nose.
He took the back of his hand, wiping his face before rising to his feet. “Lay back.”
You did as he said, watching him as he stood in front of your bed, undressing before you. He wasted no time climbing on top of you, body so close you could feel the heat radiating from his body. He was so pretty, no painting could ever truly capture it. Everything from his hair to his legs was a sight for sore eyes and you loved every part of him.
Jaehyun leaned down and kissed you, his strong arms trapping you underneath his body. He kissed you face softly, from the corner of your mouth to your forehead making you giggle softly.
“What's so amusing,” he said, looking down at you.
You shook your head, moving your hand to his face cupping his cheek softly. “You're cute.”
He stares at you for a second, but smiles, kissing you once again. “When you're on that ship I want you to remember how cute I am.”
Jaehyun lifted his body off yours, hands sliding down your waist to your hips to your legs, lifting them to your chest. You watched his hand move from your leg to his cock, shifting himself deeper between your legs. Jaehyun rubbed his tip on your slit, teasing you.
“God, you're wet,” he mumbled. You moaned softly, feeling him rub himself on your clit, your hands gripping your legs harder as you held them close to your chest. “I'm gonna miss this..” Jaehyun slides into you almost too easily, your cunt sucking him in effortlessly. The both of you let out a sigh of relief when your bodies connected. He rocked his hips into your slowly, the squelching sounds filling the room. Your bed cracked with every movement, the sound of your soft moans blending in with one another.
“You're mine,” he said, voice bringing you out of the trance you were in. “Only mine.”
“Only yours,” you nod.
Jaehyun removes your hands from your legs, pulling them apart. “There goes that pretty face.” He leans down, kissing you instantly. He was going to miss your kisses the most, the way you moaned into his mouth when he felt too good, the way your lips molded with his in the most perfect way possible. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers running through the back of his hair.
“I love you so much,” you whispered into his mouth. Jaehyun thrusted into you faster, now going at a steady pace. He pulls away from you, kissing down your neck messily. You needed more situations so you reached down between your bodies to touch yourself, but Jaehyun took your hands and held them above your head.
“Cum from my cock, okay? Can you do that for me,” he groaned softly.
You nod with a whine, head sinking into your pillow as he started fucking you harder. “F-fuck, oh my God, you feel so good.”
He thrusted into you like his life depended on it, which it did. You were what breathed for, lived for, and would die for even. Even with you underneath him you already felt so far away, and he hated that.
Your body shook under him, legs involuntary spreading even wider as he thrust deeper into you. Your body was on fire, never feeling so vulnerable in his touch and loving it all the same.
“Remember what it feels like to be around my cock,” he said against your ear, smiling at your whimpers. “Remember that no man could make you feel as good as this..”
You nod fast, brows furrowing as Jaehyun's grip on your wrist tightens . “I'm close,” you gasp, feeling his other hand rubbing your neglected clit. Jaehyun moves his lips above yours, but doesn't kiss you. His body is too wrapped in pleasure to do anything but thrust until he cums inside you. The sounds of both of your pants filling your ears, completely overstimulated you, making you squeeze around your lover.
“Fuck, oh my god,” he moaned softly, lips brushing against yours. “Y/N, I-Im close, shit.”
Jaehyun lets go of your wrists, finally freeing your hands from above your head. You immediately grab the back of his head, pulling him down to kiss him hungrily. Moaning against his lips, you feel your legs begin to tire and hurt, but the hurt blends with the pleasure well. Your moans got louder with every time he hit your sensitive spot, walls fluttering around him. You came hard, with a loud cry chanting his name over and over.
Jaehyun held you close to him, still thrusting in you groaning into your neck. “Almost there, I'm almost there Y/N.”
After a few thrust, Jaehyun lets go into you, painting your insides white. Everything was intense even after the fact. Emotions still running high, hearts beating fast, minds racing for the both of you. Jaehyun rested his face on your neck, laying still as he tried to regain energy listening to your heart beat. That's when he heard a sniffle from you and then another.
“Are you crying,” he asked quietly, still not raising his head to look at you.
“Yes.” Your voice was quiet and calm, the tears falling down your cheeks landing on Jaehyun's ears, making him sigh. He lifted himself off you, laying next to you on your tiny bed. In that moment you missed his warmth even though he was still right next to you.
You stared at the ceiling trying to ignore Jaehyun's eyes burning into your side. You both lay in silence for a while, lost in thought.
“Do you think you can wait till tomorrow,” he says, breaking the silence.
“There will be no more ships till next week,” you answer. “if Rose knows I'm here–”
“Please don't talk about her.” His voice was almost as quiet as a whisper, making you turn to look at him for the first time in a while. “I wish it was here instead.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wish she had to leave,” he mumbled. He swung his arm around your body, pulling you closer to him. “I wish I could have you here forever. Me, you and…”
He paused his gaze slowly lowering to your stomach.”
You follow his gaze, a tired smile tugging at your lips. “Hyacinth.”
“Hyacinth,” he repeats. “That's your favorite flower.”
“Mhm,” you nod. “If it is a girl, that's what I will name her.”
Jaehyun chuckles softly, lips pressing your shoulder softly. “And if it's a boy?”
“Your name,” you say. Jaehyun stops breathing for a second, the thumb that's rubbing circles in your side stops.
“Really,” he asks, eyes becoming softer.
You nod. The way he looks at you makes you feel like you're the only person in the world and still in your last moments with him, it makes you sad. In a moment's time, you will both have to get up, get dressed, and leave the room, never to be there or in the castle ever again. All you want to do is be delusional and happy, but your mind won't let you.
“I wasn't completely honest earlier,” you say, sighing deeply. “I never told you that sometimes I dreamed of leaving here and traveling the world.”
“It's okay. Now you have a chance to.”
“I've always wanted to do it with you,” you admit. “That's another reason I chose to leave. It was for my sanity. And if I couldn't do it with you, at least I could do it with a part of you.”
Jaehyun kisses you softly, rough hand squeezing your side so tight, you thought he would never let you go. But now it's time for him to let you go and he will grieve this loss for much more time than he hoped. He let you go, his arm moving painfully slow trying to make these last seconds of intimacy count for something. You both sat up, knowing the time has come for you to regain your strength and fulfill your last duty to the castle, which is to leave.
“I love you Y/N. Promise you love me too.”
“I promise.”
499 notes · View notes
bonny-kookoo · 1 month
Text
Jungkook
Princess | Limits [Final]
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There's only so much he can take.
Tags/Warnings: Wolfdog Hybrid!Jungkook, Showdog Hybrid!Reader, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Fluff?, Brat!Reader, Jungkook has major brat tamer energy, misunderstanding, smut, (slightly) mean Dom kook, a slap to the thigh, uh, knot is mentioned, it's nasty, unprotected but MC is mentioned to be on birth control, he holds her by the throat? Idk he also has his fingers in her mouth-
Length: 5k Words
There is no taglist for this fic.
-> Masterlist
A/N: This will act as a final chapter. The main story is therefore wrapped up- but as always, if you want drabbles, you can still request them.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Jungkook has never understood the phrase of your ‘heart stopping’- because how could it ever? You’d be dead in that case. But right in this moment, he finally gains the knowledge by experiencing it first hand- eyes wide open and body frozen.
Why are you in his bed? Barely dressed, snuggled up to him who’s only in his underwear?
He thinks through the whole process of yesterday to make sense of this. Did you both get potentially drunk last night? No, not at all. You and him had simply packed your things to drive you to your parents hours away, after having contacted them and told them about everything. He remembers driving you there himself, unloading your bags, leaving you there after waving and driving off. And added to that, that was not last night. It was almost an entire week ago.
He hasn’t seen you in days. So what are you doing here?
It’s not a dream either, clock on his nightstand ticking away, world outside going about its day as the window isn’t all closed to let some fresh air in at night. And yet, you’re there- bare legs entangled with his, arms holding onto his.
He doesn’t really feel alarmed by the fact that you somehow entered his apartment- you know where he lives after all, and you know the passcode to his door, so it’s not really surprising at all. But what he is questioning is why you’re here- and why you’re in his bed, most of all. Has he forgotten some conversation you might’ve had? Or has something happened to make you so upset that you were craving the comfort of him at any cost?
Now he’s worried.
Shaking you a little to wake you up seems to not be very effective- because you just frown, slap his hand away and bury your face right back into his shoulder as if he’s nothing but an annoying fly. “I know you’re awake.” Jungkook tells you, and at that you actually open one of your eyes, looking up at him with your tail wagging beneath the covers. “What’re you doing here?” He asks, and you frown again turning onto your back to look up at him who’s sat up by now.
“Why do you sound so upset about that?” You complain with almost a pout in your tone, arms crossed. “I thought couples love reuniting.” You say, and he looks at you, confused.
“Couples?” He questions, and you nod, now visibly unsure as well.
“Well, yeah?” You say, attitude fading and being replaced by uncertainty. “I mean.. we haven’t said the L-word yet, but like.. I thought..” you start, scanning his face for any sign that he realizes what you believed you two were. “..since you uh.. called me baby in the car..” you drift off, and still- there’s no sign of anything on Jungkook’s face as he thinks, and digs around in his memories for the correct moment he might’ve said that. He did, maybe. But he doesn’t remember.
“did I?” He asks, and regrets it the moment he watches the shame visibly wash over you- from the way your ears pin back to the slight change in your gaze, he knows he fucked up by saying it loud- and he’s a little too late as you roll out the bed and run for the bathroom after picking something up from the floor, hiding away now. “hey- wait.” He asks, getting up to walk towards the bathroom floor, knocking on it just to not get an answer. “I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding-“ He starts, trying hard to calm you down- but it’s clearly not working as the door opens, and you slip right past him to run towards the door where your shoes are. “Hey no- stay, let’s talk-“
“Nuh-uh, nop, this is so embarrassing-“ You rant, visibly frustrated over the shoes not closing fast enough as your hands are too shaky to really tie them. So you just make a simple knot and stuff the laces into the corners, before a tattooed hand snatches your other shoe from you. “give that back!” You bark, not looking at him however as you reach for the shoe he’s holding too high for you. “stop-“
“stop, exactly. Don’t run off now, I’m sorry if I said something that made you think we were more than we are.” He explains, and you visibly deflate at that, ears down low just like your tail. “let me get dressed, and we can talk, okay?” He asks again, and you just shrug.
He sighs as he puts down the shoe and leaves to tug a shirt and pants onto himself- before he realizes his mistake too late-
Door already slamming shut, your jacket the only thing you left at his place.
Fuck.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
He’s been knocking since forever it feels like- but even at his third visit today, you refuse to open the door.
You still got a week left in your apartment- but he knows from first hand experience that you got almost no furniture at all in there anymore, so this can’t be an option for you to sleep at. He doesn’t want you to be upset at him- and in hindsight, he really could’ve worded things a bit better, but he’s still new to this as much as you are. “please let me in.” He requests once more as he’s done so often today, sighing. “I missed you too, you know?” He tries this time around, and to be honest, that’s not even a lie.
Its odd how at first glance, he never thought he’d ever get along with you. But having you gone for almost an entire week, he really felt the way you’d somehow snuck into his heart- every task back to being mundane without you causing a little chaos in his daily life here and there.
“That’s a lie.” You say, door open just a crack to glare at him through.
“Its not.” He denies. “I just think we never actually talked about what we want to be- so I was surprised to just.. have you turn up out of nowhere in my bed.” He chuckles a little, and you just look down to the floor in shame.
“M’ sorry.” You apologize. “won’t happen again.”
“What if I want it to happen again?”
Your gaze snaps up at him at that, confused. “I was just a bit caught off guard, and honestly worried. Did something happen at your parent’s?” He wonders, and you sigh, opening the door to let him into the almost entirely unfurnished apartment- a pile of clothes and a blanket being the last items that were probably used as a makeshift resting spot for you today laying in the corner of the main living room. You sit down there, before letting yourself fall to the side as if exhausted, before you shrug, Jungkook sitting on the floor across from you. “it was.. I don’t know.” You admit. “I love them. And I was really super happy to see them again, and spend time there..” you explain, before you pull the blanket between your fingers to have something to hold onto while you stare into nothingness. “But it was.. really a lot.. I don’t know how to explain.”
“I guess that’s normal. You know, being overwhelmed with it.” Jungkook sympathizes. “I’m exhausted too after spending a day or two with my entire family-pack. Nothing to worry about.” He explains, and you just nod, still avoiding eye contact. “I think what’s important now then, is what we are to one another. You can’t just break into my apartment and sneak into my bed without formally asking me out, you know?” He jokes, but your glare is filled with embarrassment.
“Now I don’t want to anymore.” You huff, before you turn around- and at that, Jungkook feels an odd rush underneath his skull, fueled by your subtle and underlying confession in your words.
“You love me though, don’t you?” He asks, leaning in closer as he sits near you now, a hand on your shoulder. “all you need to do is say it.” He chuckles, as you curl up more into yourself as if that would hide you.
“And then what?” You huff. “You’ll-“
“I’ll say it back.” He cuts you off. “or I’ll say it first, it’s no issue. At this point it’s pretty obvious that I’m starting to fall in love with you.” He easily spills, and you freeze before you slowly unravel, turning to look at him over your shoulder with a face full of wonder.
“You are?” You ask hesitantly, and he smiles, before he nods.
“I am.” He responds, confirms his words and you sit up at that, facing him now. “are you?” He wonders, and you nod.
“I am.” You answer, and he laughs.
“See? Nothing to be scared of. Now come on, I’m not letting you sleep here.” He says, standing up with you to pick up your stuff-
Unaware of the absolute Rollercoaster he just signed himself up for.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Jungkook did not know what he got into when basically confessing his growing feelings.
His mundane life is pretty much over at this point, with you always around and currently basically having moved in until you can figure out if this works or not. After all, you’re not used to living with someone else- and it’s clear that no matter what, you’re the opposite of an angel, still trying your tricks on him to make him dance around like you want him to.
But Jungkook isn’t this easy to control. And in a way, it’s a little fun to see how much you can get away with.
“Jesus christ, put some clothes on.!” Jungkook curses as be spots you laying on your stomach on his couch, in nothing but a simple top and underwear, tail wagging. The wolf hybrid has to turn away, distract himself with the task of turning the volume of the TV lower, while you just don’t understand what his fussing is all about, game on your little console in your hands on pause.
“Why?” You ask because of that, not sure why he’s being so overly dramatic in your opinion. It’s just your legs, maybe your butt. So?
“because- just put at least some pants on.”, he groans, and you roll your eyes, before you continue your game instead.
You’re not listening. And he’s not sure if it’s your character- or if you think his decreasing patience is funny to watch.
“Do I have to turn the wifi off to get your full attention?” jungkook asks a little irritated, and you shrug.
“Don’t care.” You respond, eyes on the little screen between your hands. “the game doesn’t need internet.”
Suddenly however, the console is taken out of your hands, as he saves your current progress, and puts it into the charging station near the TV. “Hey!” You complain, getting up now to rush towards him- and as he makes sure you can’t get to your precious game again, he notices that God fucking damn it, you’re not wearing a bra beneath this very flimsy shirt.
You’re really testing him.
“Put pants on.” He says, and you have the audacity to laugh.
“Nah.” You deny, stretching before you step away from him, walking towards the bedroom. “I’ll just take a na-“ you don’t get to say much else, as he suddenly tugs on your tail with just enough force to make it count- but nowhere near enough to hurt. “Hey!” You turn around instantly, just to be basically cornered by the wolf hybrid, who’s backing you into a wall in the living room.
“You’ve got a real smart mouth there.” He simply says, but it sounds like a threat almost-, a very specific kind of threat that makes your skin shiver. “But you tend to forget when to shut it, clearly.” He scoffs, as your back hits the wall, making you swallow your own saliva nervously.
But he can sense, smell, that this is affecting you not in the direction of fear- but something else entirely.
“You’re so lucky, you know?” He asks, somewhat- and you look at him with question. “I’m not usually patient like that.”
“What would you have done?” You ask, unable to really keep it in as you know that if you hesitate for just a second, you’ll never be able to say this out loud, ask for such things. You want them, but you’re also nervous, considering you’ve never actually gotten this far with anyone before. “Put me in timeout?” You almost challenge, tail beginning to sway a little with newfound confidence, when he just shrugs it off, and shakes his head.
“No.” He denies. “Brats like you need something that.. Lasts longer.” He words out, and at that, scenes manifest inside your head that make you visibly shy.
You’re not sure if he realized it yet, but a lot of the things you do, you do on full purpose. You like this game of push and pull, you think its exciting and fun- so you hope that with words like that, he means them as such, because that would mean that he’s both aware of the little game you’re playing, and also a willing participant in it.
You don’t want him to just feel like you’re made of porcelain, possibly breaking at the slightest touch.
“Such as?” You ask, and he leans in closer at that, almost unbearably so.
“fuck around and find out, Princess.”
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Turns out you can be sickeningly sweet almost when you really want to- currently happily laying on his stomach after helping him cook and wash the dishes after, awfully nice today and in a good mood.
It makes him wonder. Are you up to something? Or are you simply not who he thought you were? It would be just a slight bit disappointing, if he was to be honest- considering he’d actually grown quite fond of the idea of you with your ass spanked bright red, Jungkook basically having to work for your submission. But maybe you’re just all bark and no bite- just yapping around, nothing more than that.
Even that would be fine at this point, as long as he’s got you.
It’s when the male lead kisses the female love interest in the admittedly boring drama you both watch on TV, than he notices you staring at the scene. He’s notice too that at this point in time, one might think you would’ve kissed by now- but that’s not the case, neither of you seemingly brave enough to make that step towards the other. But it’s clear from the way you look at the scene in front of you with a shy sense of longing, that you want it- he just needs to find the perfect moment for it.
After all, he doesn’t just want to be any partner for you. He wants to be the one and only.
“I’m tired.” You yawn and stretch, arms above your head before you look at him. “can I get a goodnight-kiss?” You boldly ask, and Jungkook laughs, before he moves to basically lean over you entirely, hands pressing into the cushioning of the couch below you.
And then he finally leans in to peck your lips- or at least that was his intention. You chase after his lips and even move your hands to pull him back, making him act on instinct as he pushes them back, pins them down with his fingers around your wrists. But he has to admit, either the lip balm you’re using is sweet as honey, or he’s surely found the perfect person to kiss in you-
Because he doesn’t want to stop either.
“You said you’re tired.” He hums in when you break apart for just a second, and you shake your head.
“not anymore.” You deny his claims, making him chuckle.
“Not anymore?” He repeats, teasingly escaping your advances. You shake your head, as your legs move to rest around his waist, signals sent pretty clear to him as he watches you try and seduce him. “You’re right.. You’re clearly not yet tired.” He mumbles, as he leans down to kiss you again, letting himself be swept away by the moment, as you both just enjoy each other’s presence.
“Jungkook..” you whine impatiently, hips squirming around in search of any form of friction, while he just laughs under his breath.
“What do you want?” He asks. “this is our first time, after all. I don’t know what you like- or what you can handle.” He teases- though it’s clear that there’s an underlying truth to his words. This is indeed clearly going in a very obvious direction, and you feel warm inside knowing that he actually cares this much about your experience during this.
“I don’t know..” you admit. “I just.. always do it myself, so I don’t know.” You tell him, and he nods, accepting that as his kisses move to your neck, where he makes sure to leave his marks.
Because he wants you to be his, and his alone.
“how far do you want to go?” He asks, pausing his advances for a moment to look at you.
“All the way.” You tell him, and he nods.
“You sure?” He questions, and again, you nod- this time visibly serious.
“There’s no one I’d rather be with like that than you.” You say, and he soaks those words up like a sponge, before he leans back down to kiss you- softer now, more gentle, as if he’s savoring you and your open appreciation for him in this moment.
And he does. He really does.
And you know, through the softness of his touch and the slow and gentle manner in which he undresses you, that tonight, he’s going easy on you.
Tonight, he’s just going to show you real love.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Something clicked into place last night.
As if he’s finally committed himself to you, he’s relaxed, comfortable and most of all; confident. And you’re strangely excited about this new side of him, because it’s unbelievably entertaining to play around with him now that he’s not holding himself back any longer.
Youre currently all laughing, some friend’s of Jungkook’s having spotted him at the grocery store with you, eager to get to know the girl who made him catch feelings. And you’re having a lot of fun hearing some embarrassing facts about your now boyfriend- who’s also laughing along, despite being the butt of the joke. Even when you make jokes about him too he doesn’t seem bothered-
Until a hand finds the back of your neck, fingers pressing down a little to make sure you know he’s got a good grip on you. And like a cat grabbed by its weak spot, you freeze, one look at him making you almost cower in public as his dark eyes gaze down at you. “yeah- but I think we’ll better head home now.” Jungkook decides to his friends, casually smiling while he says goodbye to his friends. And even when his hand leaves you, you’re strangely affected- waiting for something to happen, as he calmly brings the groceries to the car.
You must’ve gotten away this time, since he seems pretty relaxed on the way back home. Good thing you were in public.
However, once back inside your now shared four walls, things take a turn again when, instead of helping him unpack the groceries, you lounge on his sofa- TV instantly turned on as you watch, and Jungkook makes sure to put everything where it belongs by himself.
Your punishment follows late- but you know when it’s time.
The TV is wordlessly turned off, but you stop mid-breath trying to complain about it, because the smile he sends you is none of pure kindness. He looks almost like a villain ready to move on with his sinister plans, as he approaches you. “You think it’s funny, don’t you?” He asks, and when you don’t reply, he clarifies further. “you love getting on my nerves.” He states, and you have the audacity to shrug.
“What’re you gonna do about it?”
That was definitely your last mistake made- challenging him, well aware of how he will potentially punish you.
He’s quick to grab at your hips, no matter how fast you’d wanted to dash off. His grip is tight and secure as he carries you unto the bedroom, where he closes the door with his foot, putting you down on the big mattress. And there you sit- waiting, not sure what his silence means.
“Early bedtime, huh?” You scoff, trying to appear unimpressed.
“Its what you make of it.” He however answers. “this is your last chance to get on my good side, Princess.”
“or what?” You ask with an attitude, still not believing in hit bite at all.
Jungkook sits down at that, back against the door, eyes reflecting a little in the darkness of the bedroom. He’s a wolf, deep down, even if he’s mixed- he’s got time, and patience, and he knows it. He’s well aware that after yesterday’s endeavors, you’ve been trying to ‘seduce’ him all day long- wanting more, wanting it again, because as you’d told him last night, you ‘can’t do it the same he does’. It’s normal, as a hybrid-
And as someone like you in particular, who craves everything pleasurable in life.
You’re still sitting there, waiting, adjusting your position a bit, squirming under his watchful eyes. You’re not sure what he’s aiming at here, but it makes you a little uncomfortable-
Mostly because you can feel the way your underwear is soaking up your arousal over this entire situation.
“Go to sleep, baby.” He tells you with fake gentleness in his voice. “it’s late, isn’t it?”
“I don’t want to sleep.” You respond, and he chuckles.
“I know.” He tells you.
“Jungkook..” you whine, hoping this will be enough to break him. “I’m sorry..” you admit, ears drooping low, as you look at your lap in shame.
But he’s not fooled.
“try again, princess.” He simply says. “I know you’re not sorry.”
Fuck. What else could you do to get him to crack?
Manipulating him into doing what you wanted him to has worked in the past, so it shouldn’t be this hard. And he’s already seen you naked yesterday, so you don’t have to have shame about what you do next- moving your legs to give him a bit of a teaser to your soiled underwear beneath your skirt, feet digging into the bed below as you try and get under his skin this way.
“…can you help me?” You wonder, noticing how his eyes were captured by the sight for just a second.
“I can.” He nods, getting up to walk over to you- and your tail wags, triumph yours to claim. It’s still so easy to make him dance around like a puppet on strings, because down the line, he’s just another guy who’s quickly caught up in his own lust-
His face is inches from yours, eyes piercing into yours as he still got that wolfish smirk on his lips.
“But I don’t want to.”
Wait- that’s not part of the script.
“do it yourself, puppy.” He laughs, opening the bedroom door. “You know how to-“
“No!” You call out, making him turn his head over his shoulder to look at you. “I want you!” You argue, making him laugh.
“too bad.” He denies, and at that you get up, one leg out of the bed already. “get back on the bed.” He demands, and you huff.
“so you really putting me in timeout?” You scoff, stepping out with the other leg as well.
“You want to act like a brat so I’ll treat you as such.” He explains. “get back on the bed until I’m done cooking.”
“No.” You deny, walking closer.
He says your name, low and clearly in a warning, but you don’t care.
It’s then that your world turns upside down for a second, before you’re thrown back onto the bouncing mattress. You can’t help the sound that escapes your lips at his display of strength over you, a hand still on your arm to push you down. “does pissing me off make you that horny?” He asks, almost in a demeaning tone. “gushing into your panties just because you’re getting on my nerves, huh?” He continues, and your tail still wags.
“Its funny.” You admit, giggling, when a hand slaps your inner thigh, skirt having risen up to cover basically nothing anymore. “ah-!” You call out in surprise, making him laugh.
“it is.” He agrees. “it’s funny how you think you can play me.”
The next second, he’s tugging your underwear off of you, strings of sticky arousal still trying to hold onto the soiled fabric for a good stretch before the piece of clothing is thrown somewhere. “gotta get you off to make you listen?” He asks, agitated, hand between your legs a complete contrast to the gentle way he’s helped you reach highest pleasure last night. “gotta fuck you stupid so you’re finally a good girl for once?” He questions, and you just nod, frantically, overwhelmed by the way he pushes two of his fingers in already, thumb rolling over your most sensitive spot.
“Please-“ you start, but he only laughs down at you.
“Please? That’s a new sound.” He mocks you. His ruthless acts down settle down at all however- instead, he takes his hand away from you, and wipes it on his pants. You’re left alone, watching him, unsure what’s happening. “You ready to listen?” He asks. What an asshole. He knows exactly that in your state you’d accept anything-
“Why did you stop?” You whine however, and your downfall has been sealed.
Only moments later, as you try and escape, he’s on top of you, using his entire body to cage you in, hand around your throat- though he’s gentle enough to not hurt you at all. The hold he has still arches your back, pushes your behind right into him. And considering the fact that you’re on birth control, he doesn’t need to search for any other contraceptive right now, able to just pull himself out of his cotton pants, not needing much to get himself ready.
You whine in complaint when he pushes in. He knows it’s a bluff.
“oh shut up.” He growls into the back of your neck. “You can take it.” He states, well aware that you can. And it seems like finally, you’re quiet and compliant- if only after his fingers press down on your tongue, occupying your mouth with something other than whining. “so this is what it needs to shut you up?” He mocks you. “my cock inside, and my fingers in your mouth?” He purrs against your neck, and you just whimper pathetically.
His pace is steady, but he doesn’t even need to move anymore he notices- you’re for once doing all the work for him, bouncing on his lap like you’ve done this a million times already.
Your stamina does however not match up with his, as your thighs quiver, orgasm approaching you and causing you to lose tempo. Something he catches up on- taking over as he rolls his hips into you with dancer’s precision, while you emit sounds of pleasure the second his digits leave your mouth. You fall forward once he lets go of you entirely, spent.
“I’m not done with you yet.” He however days, as he manhandles you onto your back beneath him, hands tugging on your legs to move them exactly where he wants them. “wants to be fucked stupid but can’t even keep up with me.” He teases, shaking his head as he pushes his length through your thighs, remnants of your own arousal making the movement easy and slick. Your hands reach out sleepily, fingers touching the very tip every time it appears between your legs, and you giggle, visibly out of your mind.
But he notices something else too.
You look entirely relaxed, not even a glimmer of any of your usual insecurities present. You’re just existing in the moment, enjoying this, enjoying what he offers you, and nothing else.
Your head must really just be TV static.
You open your legs again, whining once more as he watches you reach for his hips- one orgasm not enough still, or maybe you just want to please him the best you can. He’s going easy on you this time, he decides, complying with your wordless demand to get back inside you, a wish he happily grants.
You don’t hold back, only shutting up when he leans down to kiss you, needy and chaotic, tongue and bitten lips. But once his hand is between you both, pushing you over the edge alongside him, you squirm once more- his release spilling inside of you, something swelling that you didn’t feel yesterday.
It’s him. He’s locking himself inside you to make sure you don’t spill any of it.
Which isn’t all that easy, since he appears to be a but of an overachiever- some of it already escaping you the second he softens up, cunt pushing out the translucent white as he pulls out of you.
You’re a mess.
Clothes somewhat still on, skin sweaty, opening between hour legs still gaping, clenching around nothing as your body calms down.
But, to be fair-
You also, finally, shut your mouth.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
“You can be so gentle!” You complain as he helps you put lotion on your skin after your shower, already back to your old self not even a couple of hours after.
“I can.” He laughs.
“But something tells me that you like it rough.”
Oh-
How right he is.
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391 notes · View notes
ranticore · 13 days
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you mentioned wyrms retract the human-ish head to eat, do you have an idea of how that works, anatomically? I'm trying to imagine a cross section of those necks with separate tubes for air, food, the head and the spine. does the head get packed tight in some kind of sleeve? It would be really cool to see that cross section
(also would love to know more about the time Rev spent as a disembodied head, that must have been really weird)
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well i was meaning to draw it anyway
the "human" portion (referred to as the head yes all of it) has its own heart, lungs, and accessory oesophagus, though it doesn't have its own stomach. there's a little crop which is the remains of the human stomach, kind of like an appendix now really. the accessory oesophagus (green) connects to the main crop in the chest area, running parallel to the dragon oesophagus but not attaching to it. when the head is out, the dragon mouth is occupied anyway so it doesn't need to eat and the oesophagus is a squishy tube that is collapsed when not in use (unlike the trachea) so there's no issues with space here, it's fine.
the lungs in the head area are only minorly used for gas exchange - they provide very little oxygen, really, but enough to keep that human part running in a very hypoxic state in the case of decapitation. Mostly they're just used to draw air over the vocal chords. If the lungs in the main body were compromised somehow, the wyrm would straight up cease to function (not death. but comatose), while if the head lungs broke, eh nbd it just means no voice until they heal. there is a syrinx inside the chest cavity which provides additional vocals - deep infrasound rumbles. the main lungs are gigantic and in larger wyrms will extend further into the body. in the case of multiple heads, there are multiple syrinxes where the tracheas connect to the lungs and that means they can produce polyphonic rumbles :) breathing is done through the dragon nostrils, there's a sizeable cavity there for their good sense of smell. in case you are wondering how they sync up their breaths when there's multiple heads, the lungs are birdlike in that it's a series of air sacs and a passive inhalation, and an active exhalation governed by different lobes of the lung at once (using the air sacs). each head has its own lobe. so the wyrm is in a constant state of inhaling and exhaling at different rates (if there's multiple heads)
the dragon oesophagus is the main one and it leads to a crop, which is where the wyrm denatures the powerful toxins of their prey and forms a pellet out of the inedible mandibles and spicules found within a crawling beast. this is spat up later and buried (no longer poisonous so nbd). edible portions go to the stomach. the liver is very big and very strong, it's almost impossible to poison a wyrm in any way (including drugs, alcohol, etc)
so the thing about the wyrms is that the number of legs is variable, Revelation obviously has two, Onozar has four. But the two that Revelation has are actually its forelegs! The torso extends quite a bit into what we would consider the Tail area, it's rather snakelike.
as a disembodied head, Rev had no heart, no functioning lungs, and was also completely paralysed because of the severed nerve cord in its (human) neck. literally from the jaw down it couldn't move, which is what made it such a convincing corpse. life was very underwhelming for it since it was essentially running on extreme battery saver mode, always watching and sensing the world but never truly perceiving what it saw and heard and felt. animals made nests in its chest cavity, and it was infested with scavenging worms for a while, but its own flesh is distasteful to other living beings and nothing did enough damage to actually cause decomposition. just some nasty wounds.
Rev needed Wildfire to literally rip up a crawler and put the meat in its mouth before any attempts at healing could be made. when it finally got its lungs working again it found they were full of detritus - dust, spores, roots, random stuff. growing back the lower body would have taken decades more if it continued at the same pace, so it used a little bit of magic and Wildfire's other tiercels' flesh to construct the most basic shape of its lower body, and once it had those bits intact it could start properly gaining strength and growing.
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highvern · 8 months
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Drunk Goggles (Heart Eyes) II [morning after]
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x reader
Genre: fluff, idiots in love
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, friends to lovers, confessions, hand holding and smooches
Length: ~1k
Note: Sequel to Drunk Goggles ! its short but i will probably keep updating/editing it because im a perfectionist and never happy with any of my writing. I have two more drafts for them that I'm editing right now and then I'll probably focus on something new! In other news, Mingyu makes me wanna slut him out put a ring on his finger so bad
When morning comes, you wake to the soft light of dawn gently illuminating your bedroom and a nasty headache. You brave opening your eyes to search for Mingyu, easily locating his large form as he lays on his back on the other side of the bed. Flailing across the short distance between you, you burrow down into his chest and throw a leg over his hips to steal some of his heat against the morning chill. Finger tips trace gentle circles against the smooth skin of his tummy, letting you enjoying the rise and fall of his chest.
Like you were thrown in an ice bath, everything from last night comes racing forward. You remember it all. How you both stayed within a foot radius of one another all night, clinging to each other in the sweltering heat of the club. All the brushes of lips against skin, becoming more and more daring as the night dragged on. Worst of all, right before you passed out, how you whispered all your feelings into his shoulder and sealed them with a kiss.
Today. You think. You need to talk to Mingyu today.
But as he continues to snore quietly above you, you're lulled back to sleep and away from the ocean of nerves that threatens to drown you.
-
The second time you wake is to a hand gently carding through your hair, carefully working away the tangles from tossing and turning through the night. Another hand is tracing the ridges and valleys of your knuckles on your hand laid across his sternum. With a deep inhale, you stretch against Mingyu to let him know you're awake, yawning as you blink against the sun.
"Sorry," He croaks. "didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine," you assure, voice still thick with sleep.
“We should talk.” He sighs 
“Okay.” You whisper.
“I–,” Mingyu starts, the pep talk he gave himself for the past thirty minutes dissolving on his tongue. He swallows in an attempt to get his nerve back but you beat him to the punch.
“Ireallylikeyou.”
The silence is deafening. 
You both knew. Painfully aware of your own feelings as well as each other's. The issue time and time again wasn’t the lack of knowledge of how the other felt but the dread that if you said something and it didn’t work out you’d lose each other forever. But after last night neither of you care to keep up the charade. Mingyu wants to call you his girlfriend, take you to dinner with his family, hold your hand in public and parade you around for everyone to see how lucky he is. And you're in the same exact boat. You want to tell anyone who will listen about how amazing he is, not just as Mingyu your friend but as Mingyu your boyfriend; let him be the first person you see in the morning and last at night; let all the fantasies that play in a loop in your head become a reality.
“I like you too.” He finally breathes, weight lifted off his shoulders. 
It's fascinating how such life altering confessions don't change anything as much as you think it will. For months, you thought that the day you both confessed would make the world start spinning in reverse or the sun would fall out of the sky. But the room is as calm as it was before you shared your thoughts. Sheets ruffling gently to the swirl of the overhead fan droning above you. Outside, cars bustle on the street while the family of birds living in the tree next to your window sing their morning hymn. If you strain your ears then you can hear your downstairs neighbors returning from their morning walk with their yappy dog. Today is like every other Saturday morning but nothing like them at the same time.
“Yeah?” You smile, unable to look at him just yet. Instead you turn your face into his pec, trying to contain the giddiness bubbling under your skin like sea foam.
“Yeah.” Mingyu responds, sighing in relief. He wraps his arms around you snuggly, holding you close while his heart drums wildly in his chest.
When Mingyu decides to rest his lips against your hair, you giggle like a schoolgirl. It can’t be helped. You just confessed to Mingyu like you were two sixteen year olds and it makes you giddy. He likes you. 
“What’s so funny?”
“You like me.” You sing, smile blinding.
Your head is turning towards Mingyu’s, catching the way his eyes crinkle and mouth twists in delight. He’s laughing as well, flustered by the morning’s developments.
“You like me too!” Mingyu accuses.
“I know.” Your face softens as you lose your breath. "Isn't it great?"
“So," he starts, suddenly bashful under your gaze. "Does this mean I can count breakfast today as our first date?”
God, he’s so cute it hurts.
“You absolutely can.” 
The smiles threatening to split both of your faces in half make kissing difficult but you figure it out pretty quickly.
-
When you arrive at the entrance of the farmers market hours later, Ms. Kwon observes you and Mingyu as you stroll to her booth. She notes the way your hands are tangled together, faces bright red, sneaking shy glances at each other. Interesting, she thinks.
Testing the waters, she asks if your boyfriend is going to buy the usual bouquet of wildflowers he gets you every Saturday. You don’t rebuke her use of the word "boyfriend" this time, instead sharing a small yes. When Mingyu responds with an even more ridiculously happy expression than the one he strode in with, she hides a knowing smile. Mr. Lee, who sells fresh pastries further down the market, owes her dinner.
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Note
too many teens whining for validation, this blog needs more weird and stupid so...
AITA for kidnapping my friend and trapping her in the cheesebarn?
Hear me out:
The story starts about a week before my (20 at the time ftm) 21st birthday. If you live in the US you know this isnt just some lame 7th birthday or 36th birthday, this is one of the big boy birthdays, the special ones. Its when you can legal buy alcohol and are therefore truly an adult in the eyes of the law.
Naturally my friends (20s) wanted to do something Big for our 21sts. So they asked me what i wanted to do and i said i didnt really care as long as I got a road trip somewhere with friends.
Everyone thought it was a fun idea but it was a little short notice for everyone to get time off from work, but my other friend we will call C also had her 21st exactly a month after mine to the day, and the two of us agreed to share our 21sts and not do much of anything on my actual birthday. This is important, bc it was a SHARED birthday road trip.
I agree to let C pick the destination and I provide the car. We didnt have much of a plan as we were going to meet up with C's old roommate who lives in the city we picked to show us a good time.
It was 5 of us total and about a 7 hour drive altogether there with not a whole lot on the way there. We get to the city she picked and meet the roommate and honestly the rest of this part is just standard 21st birthday shenanigans. Its when we start the drive home things really start.
Remember its a long drive with not much to see? Well that was a lie. On our way back we see it, the Real "Happiest Place on Earth" as far as places with a mouse for a mascot go:
Grandpa's.
Fuckin'.
Cheesebarn.
Obviously me and the other people on the trip want to stop and see the magic, but unfucking fortunately C happens to be the only Basic White Girl ™️ in the entire world who hates cheese and isnt even lactose intolerant. This girl is notorious for making "petty" and "I hate Cheese" her entire personality. She would constantly make faces and gagging noises and talk about how gross and nasty cheese is if you so much as eat a grilt cheese near her.
Clearly she made it known that she wasnt on board with it. "NO! FUCK YOU ALL IM NOT GOING TO A PLACE CALLED A CHEESEBARN ON MY BIRTHDAY!!" were her exact words.
But i remembered i was driving, it was my car, and it was supposed to be my birthday too. So I put it to a vote. "Raise your hand if you wanna go to Grandpa's Cheesebarn!"
All hands raise but one. With C out voted we head to the cheesebarn.
Guys. This place is amazing. Its obviously making cheese its main draw, but yhere's so much more, its every shitty midwest tourist trap rolled into one glorious place. There's even a chocolate shop. We even got C's roommate to ditch work and come meet us bc shr heard "Grandpa's Cheesebarn" and knew she had to drop everything.
All in all a good visit, C even seemed like she had fun once we got there (she sure spent $300 on candies and dip mixes anyway). We go home. Things seem fine.
Then C drops off the face of the earth.
She wont respond to our calls or texts and at first we thought maybe she was giing through a rough patch or something and try to just keep reaching out but give her space. But then we find out that not only is she still hanging our with our other friends who couldnt make the trip with us. So clearly she's just pissed at us about something.
Finally one day a few months later i catch her at her job and just tell her "I dont care if you hate us, we'll never speak to you again if you dont want us to, but what the hell did we do to you??"
And she just looked me over and says "Well. You kidnapped me."
lolwut
And she yells (bc this girl loves yelling at people) "YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND TRAPPED ME AT A CHEESEBARN ON. MY. BIRTHDAY!!!!!"
And i just said "Well it was my birthday too," and havent spoken to her since. Its been over a decade and "No ragrets" as we said back in the day, but uts baffled me for years that that was her reaction. "Im just over you guys" i can understand, and its not like she was shy about telling people she hates them and their out of her life ever before. And from what i ended up hearing from our other friends she kept talking with it really was about the cheesebarn and how we "ruined her birthday".
No but srsly AITA??? For making her go to a cheesebarn???
What are these acronyms?
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lunajay33 · 2 months
Text
Not the Only One
•🌪️🍂🪵🏹•
Summary: Reader comes from an abusive family and is insecure about it showing up everywhere with bruises, but one night she comes across Daryl who is more like you than you know
Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x f!reader
Content Warning: Abusive parents
•Masterlist•
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Growing up in a small town in Georgia can have its benefits, close friend group, late night walks, fun memories, but not for some, not for me I get the other side of a small town, the rough crowd and the judgmental stares from the well of kids who’s parents gave them everything they wanted
I never thought there was a problem with the way I lived as a kid but the older I got and realized that not everyone lives with abusive, negligent parents it was world shaking for me and I felt like a complete loser and I still do, I don’t have much some simple clothes and some drugstore perfume and makeup but that’s about it, others girls in my class had expensive name brand everything and judge those like me who didn’t
My dads drunk and takes his problems out on me, my moms a coward and won’t stand up for me so here I am walking around school with a cut down my eyebrow with a nasty bruise forming around
“What happened y/n old man beat on you again” Jessie says laughing as she walks by with her little click, I look back into my locker getting my books for science class sighing not ready for the day ahead full of more comments like that
I walk into Mr.jensons class taking my seat at the back, some people whispering as I walk through the class
“Okay class we have a new student transfering to our class from a different course, obvious people like me more than miss.smith’s music class” he says obnoxiously as the student enters our class
Daryl Dixon he lived a few houses down from me but we didn’t interact much, sometimes I’d see him take out the trash or see him sitting on the doc on the lake behind our houses, it was rumoured that his dad beat on him too but it’s not like we were gonna be friends because we’re abused that crazy…..right?
“You can go sit at the back next to y/n” Mr.Jenson points out to me
He sits down and I can smell his calming aroma, woodsy with a hint of cigarette
“Hi” I smiled meakly
“Hey, ya live on my street don’t ya” he asks slouching down in the chair
“Yeah, I’ve seen you around” so he’s seen me too
“Alright class listen up” the class went on like usual until the bell rang signalling the end of the day, I gathered up all my stuff shoving them in my bag and leaving the class, walking through the hallways heading for the exit when someone runs up next to me
“Hey, ya walking home?” Daryl asks looking down at me
“Oh yeah, I usually like to sit at the doc when I get back, don’t like to stay in the house much”
“Why not?” He asks as he continues to walk beside me back to our street
“I think you know, everyone talks about it” I say motioning to my bruised eyebrow
“They don’t understand, ain’t yer fault”
“It’s just……embarrassing” I say rubbing my arm as a nervous habit
“Yer old man?”
“Yeah, you?” He nods in agreement looking down
“Pretty shitty, wish I could just get out of here or just start fresh here” he hums making my heart warm, finally someone understands how I feel
We got to our street stopping infront of my house
“So ummm I’ll be down at the doc later if you wanna meet me there just to talk or whatever” I say
“Yeah I’ll see ya there” he says heading off to his house a few doors down
I walked into my house hoping nothing happens today, seeing my dad sat on his chair with a beer in his hand watching the tv
I try to walk past him to my room when he grabs my wrist
“Did you pick up the cigarettes from the store like I asked?” His voice is already angry, I completely forgot
“I……I forgot, I’m sorry” I whine as he tightens his grip
“Why can’t you ever listen, you know what this means”
“No please I’m sorry I’ll go get them now”
“It’s too late”
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Sitting on the doc was suppose to be a wind down form the day an escape from hell that is suppose to be a house, instead I’m sat here feeling like I went solar against concrete, my lip is busted severely, by cheek stings, bruises and whips against my back, the hoodie I’m wearing was irritating against my sore flesh
I’d do anything just to go back in time and run away with my sister but I was scared and young and now I’m miserable and constantly afraid
“Hey sorry I’m late” I heard from next to me, too deep in thought to have heard him approach
I kept my head down looking at the water
“It’s fine” I mumble
“Ya okay?” That one simple question broke the damn in me as tears spilled down my cheeks, I turn to him just wanting reassurance or comfort
“I forgot to get a pack of cigarettes on the way home” my voice quivers as he stares at my red cheek and bust lip
“How am I even suppose to cover this up”
“I could go kill him” he huffs anger rising in his features
“Everything hurts” I wince when he places his hand on my back, he pulled back quickly
“Do ya need help?”
“I don’t know how bad they are”
He moves behind me lifting my sweater up to my shoulders, revealing the old and new scars that littered my back with occasionally fresh bruises
“Oh baby girl I’m so sorry” he says under his breath but there was something there in his words that made it feel like he understood this type of beating
“Are they bad?”
“Don’t think ya need stitches but I don’t want ya going back there” he says bringing my sweater back down moving beside me again
“But where am I suppose to go?”
“Old man’s gone for a week, ya can stay at my place”
“Are you sure I don’t want to burden you”
“Ain’t a burden, yer staying with me, come on”
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His house was more or less just like mine but there is no surprise there, our fathers are basically the same, he brings me to his room and it’s pretty normal, some hunting stuff plain brown walls
“Thanks for this” I say sitting on the edge of his bed
“ ‘course, ya need anything?”
“Do you have any painkillers?” He went in his drawer and popped one in my hand, taking it hoping it will ease this discomfort
He jumped on the bed sitting next to me as a comfortable silence surrounds us
“I got em too”
“Huh?”
“Scars, don’t like to show em, don’t like to be reminded”
“I’m sorry Daryl, one day we’ll be happy, one day we’ll get out of this mess”
“Together”
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Part.2
Taglist: @l0kilaufeys0n7 @stoner420things69 @pinchofthetwd @thestonedwriter @daryldixmedown @deansapplepie @ghostboneswrites2 @superbowlisgay @daryls-wife @pinkratts @daryl-dixons-left-hand @mrrumplebottom @twistedprincess-92 @addi1978 @wongcena @darylspersonalwhore @starrqi @heidiland05 @livlaughlove03
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bowtiepastabitch · 4 months
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Heaven's Not Homophobic in Good Omens, and Why That's Important
I need to preface this with, I am not trying to start a fight or argument and won't tolerate any homophobic or bad faith arguments in response to this. Cool? Cool.
This is in large part inspired by this ask from Neil's blog, which sparked some discourse that I don't want to get involved in but that brought up some analytic questions for me.
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He goes on to reblog a question asking about Uriel's taunt specifically, clarifying that "boyfriend in the dark glasses" can just as easily be read/translated from angelic as girlfriend or bosom buddy. The idea is that an angel and a demon "fraternizing" is seriously looked down upon, not that heaven is homophobic. And that's super important.
We see homophobia in both the book and show, of course. Aziraphale is very queer-coded, intentionally and explicitly so, and we see the reaction of other humans to that several times. Sergeant Shadwell, for example, and the kid in the book that calls him the f-slur when he's doing magic at Warlock's birthday party. These are, however, individual human reactions to his coding as a gay man.
I am, personally, not a fan of heaven redemption theories for the show; no hate for people who want that it's just not something I'm interested in. I don't believe that heaven is good with bad leadership, or that God Herself remains as a paragon of virtue. To me, that's not in line with the themes and messages of the show. It's important, however, that heaven doesn't reflect human vices. Heaven can be nasty and selfish and apathetic in its own right without ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or racism. This matters for two reasons.
Firstly, we don't need the -isms and -phobias to be evil or at least ethically impure. In a world where we spend so much time fighting against prejudice and bigotry, our impulse is to see that reflected in characters whose motivations we distrust or who we're intended to dislike. While it's true that that's often the big bad evil in our daily lives, it can really cheapen the malice in fictional evil from a storytelling standpoint. A villain motivated by racism or as an allegory for homophobia can be incredibly compelling, but not every bad guy can be the physical representation of an -ism. Art reflects the reality in which it's crafted, but the complexity of human nature and the evil it's capable of can't be simplified to a dni list.
Secondly, and I think more importantly, is that for Good Omens specifically, this places the responsibility for homophobia on humanity. If you're in this fandom, there's like a 98% chance you've been hurt by religion in some way. For a lot of us, that includes religious homophobia and hate, so it makes sense to want to project that onto the 'religious' structure of Good Omens. It's a story that is, in many ways, about religious trauma and abuse. However, if heaven itself held homophobic values, it would canonize in-universe the idea that heaven and religion itself are responsible for all humanity's -isms and -phobias and absolve humans of any responsibility. Much like Crowley emphasizes repeatedly that the wicked cruelty he takes responsibility for is entirely human-made, we have to accept that heaven can't take the blame for this. To make heaven, the religious authority, homophobic would simply justify religious bigotry from humans. By taking the blame for religious extremism and hatred away from heaven and the religious structure, Good Omens makes it clear that the nastiness of humanity is uniquely and specially human and forces the individual to take responsibility rather than the system. Hell isn't responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, which by the way was religiously motivated if you didn't know, and heaven isn't responsible for Ronald Reagan.
This idea is perhaps more strongly and explicitly expressed in the Good Omens novel, in the scene where Aziraphale briefly possesses a televangelist on live TV. It's comedic, yes, but also serves to demonstrate that human concepts of the apocalypse and religious fervor are deeply incorrect (in gomens universe canon) and condemn exploitation of faith practices. Pratchett and Gaiman weave a great deal of complexity into the way religion and religious values are portrayed in the book, especially in the emphasis on heaven and hell being essentially the same. They're interested in the concept of what it means to be uniquely and unabashedly human, the good and the bad, and part of that is forcing each individual person to bear the brunt of responsibility for their own actions rather than passing it off onto a greater religious authority.
Additionally, from a fan perspective, there's something refreshing about a very queer story where homophobia isn't the primary (or even a side) conflict. The primary narrative of Good Omens isn't that these two man-shaped-beings are gay, it's that they're an angel and a demon. The tension in their romantic arc arises entirely from the larger conflict of heaven and hell, and things like gender and sexuality don't really matter at all. Yes, homophobia and transphobia are very real, present issues in our everyday lives, but they don't have to be central to every story we tell. There's something really soothing about Crowley and Aziraphale being so queer-coded and so clearly enamored with each other without constantly being bombarded with homophobia and hate. It's incredible to see a disabled angel whose use of a mobility aid makes no difference in their role and to see angels and demons using they/them pronouns without being questioned or misgendered. It's all accepted and normalized, and that's the kind of representation that we as queer people deserve.
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queenimmadolla · 8 months
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Hey hun, Ive got a horrible chest cold AND im on my period at the same time, so as you can imagine I feel like a dumpster shit fire right now. If its possible could you do a little drabble where Eddie is nursing a sick reader. If not i totally understand I know youve got a lot on your plate atm. Thanks hun, love ya ❤️
happy to drop everything to nurse one of our own back to health 🫡. hope this helps make you feel better!
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“I’m dying.” You whined from the mounds of blankets you were surrounded by, with a pathetic sniffle.
  “You’re not dying.” Eddie refuted, as he measured out your medicine, pouring the bitter syrupy liquid into the cap you’d have to throw back. He was also trying to hide his grin.
  It’s not that Eddie liked it when you were sick, but now that the two of you lived together—in a crappy one bedroom apartment that was the best thing in the world because it was yours—he could nurse you back to health, take care of you. And if you just so happened to be extra cuddly whenever you were sick, that was just a plus.
  It was domestic. 
  Eddie loved living with you, even if you left all the bottom cabinet doors open whenever you retrieved something and he’d bust his knee against them, loved that you were the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes in the morning and the last thing he glimpsed before falling asleep. Loved brushing his teeth in the mirror with you at his side doing the same thing, loved how he had a five minute window to convince you it was a good idea for the two of you to just stay home together instead of parting to go out into the world. Most of all, he loved being able to look up from whatever he was doing, be it planning out future Hellfire sessions or working on a new song or even catching up on his reading, to see you curled into the loveseat, or in the kitchen, hear you humming as you walked down the hall. 
  Existing around him.
  Co-existing with you was something Eddie wanted to do forever. If this was married life, Eddie would be on his knee the second you felt better. 
  “I’m dying.” You reaffirmed, scowling when Eddie turned around and you caught sight of the yellow–never a good tasting color for medicine–liquid filled measuring cap in Eddie’s large grasp. 
“You’re not dying on me, baby. I refuse to let that happen. Now, take your medicine so we can make sure it doesn’t.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, medicine held out to you.
  Gingerly, you grasped it and when he reached for the orange juice on your side table, you switched up, “You know what? You’re right. I’m not dying. I feel better already.”
  “Drink the medicine,” Eddie smirked, handing you the glass. 
  “But it’s Prescription.” Your frown deepened, tongue already assaulted by the idea of what it would taste like. Eddie had taken you to the doctor’s yesterday morning and picked up your prescription after so you’d had the pleasure of taking it three times already. 
  It was a nasty son of bitch.
  “Which means you’ll get better faster. Drink.”
  You gave him one last glare before downing the medicine like a shot. Your face contorted in disgust and Eddie chuckled as you hurried to take a drink of your orange juice to wash the taste away.
  “That’s poison.” You croaked, handing Eddie the juice and empty medicine cup before settling back into your pillows with a pout just as an onslaught of coughs hit you, sending you into a fit you muffled against your inner elbow. 
  Eddie could hear your chest rattle with them and placed your medicine cup and glass down on the bedside table so he could rub your back.
  Once your coughing fit had subsided, you took a couple of shaky breaths before glaring up at him again, “It didn’t work.”
  Eddie rolled his eyes and nudged you over, much to your surprise. The bed was littered with your used tissues, some having been coughed into and others containing your snot. Not exactly the place to want to be.
  “My poor, sweet, gross baby.” He cooed as he settled in behind you, pulling you right into his chest.
  You ignored the gross comment and protested even though you were curling right into him, nose nuzzling against his hoodie covered collar bone, eager for his warmth. Of course you’d gotten sick just as winter settled.
  “Eddie! You’re gonna get sick.” A pitiful argument considering you were already settled on him like a cat having found their new lounging spot. 
  “Oh, I know I am. Who cares? I slept next to you last night and woke up to a hill of your snotty tissues in my face so it’s already in my system. No use in denying myself the love of my life.” You felt his hand drift lower until he was patting your ass cheek. He wasn’t trying to start anything, it was just one of Eddie’s many love gestures. When he’d ask if he could squeeze your ass like it was some sort of stress ball to comfort him—that’s when he was going for it. 
  “It wouldn’t be in your system if you hadn’t insisted on still sleeping with me last night.” You reminded him and felt him shrug under you in response. You peaked up at him to see him relaxed, one arm propping his head up with the other holding you to him. His eyes were shut and a look of utter content was on his face. It was almost like he’d been the one to take the codeine. 
  “We didn’t move in together so I can avoid you, this is just some more experience for us. You deal with my morning breath, I deal with having our bed covered in germs when you’re sick.”  His hand began to stroke up and down your back and your eyes fluttered shut, the codeine making quick work of your system. 
  “Why am I the one suffering in both of those scenarios?” You slurred out.
  Eddie shook with laughter underneath you, “Shut up and go to sleep. I’ll make you some soup when you wake up, you jerk.” 
  You did fall asleep. And when you woke up, Eddie insisted on carrying you—because a chest cold apparently meant you couldn’t walk yourself anywhere—to the living room where you watched some television while he did his best to follow a recipe your mother had given him for a homemade soup she’d make whenever you were sick. 
And three days later, when you’d made a full recovery, Eddie developed a rattling cough. The ring he’d hidden in a pair of his shoes would just have to wait until you nursed him back to health.
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newtkive · 5 months
Text
pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 1 - the gc birth
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in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends
or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28
__
THE GLADE
[ 7:45 PM ]
alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally
alby: Hello, guys.
minho: wtf is this
newt: uhhhh
tommy: hi :3
y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private
gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number
newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n
tommy: oh that’s y/n?
alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??
newt: yea
tommy: o.O
y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao
tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????
y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p
newt: lmao
minho: ik he smug as fuck rn
not u asking for a girls number lmao simp
newt: stop
y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it
plus you guys are friends irl so idk
it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh
minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n
we play games all the time
call all the time
we even send packages and shit
you’re very much considered our irl friend
y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺
tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️
minho: the heart eyes are crazy
but yes dude
newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you
minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO
but real ig
y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE
hahahahha
HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR
I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER
gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys
minho: gally sleeps in the corner
gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion
y/n: cherry blossom mansion*
gally: and you sleep in a shed
y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.
tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰
y/n: love you tommy <3333
minho: that’s actually nasty stop now
y/n: u mad ur unloved
i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((
newt: aw it is
minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord
alby: I’m done with Discord.
newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate
minho: mate 💀💀
british people so crazy
alby: Yes maybe..
I don’t want to make another.
y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to
minho: LMAO REAL
alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)
minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀
newt: minho admitting he’s jobless
minho: you work at a library be so fr rn
newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.
gally: LMFAOOOOOOO
minho: stfu :////
y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY
tommy: YAAAY!!!!
im going to text you guys all day
tell you every meal
every thought
every interaction will be meaningful and glorious
newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that
minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit
why not just do it before in the discord ??
tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..
y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy
newt: ok second thought that’s fine
minho: .
gally: that’s wild.
y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST
newt: first with what
y/n: say what u ate today
newt: didn’t say i’d do it.
tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333
you guys next
minho: that’s all you had bro..
y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D
minho: ??????? BRO
how are you guys alive
y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking
newt: please eat and drink water.
like for real and document it
y/n: ok wait
Tumblr media
there
tommy: yum!
minho: y/n..
newt: cereal does not count
y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY
im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare
newt: alright what do you want?
y/n: wym?
newt: like if you could pick.
minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it
i like it go on.
tommy: i want chick fil a
minho: i knew you hate the gays
tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????
y/n: ugh that does sound good
mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch
newt: that’s what you would order?
y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh
newt: ok
minho: that’s it?
i thought soemthing would happen
tommy: me too
like a spell! magic 🪄
y/n: sigh
my cereal tastes bad now
newt: well it is cocoa puffs.
minho: L cereal
y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG
minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L
newt: you're annoying minho
minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that
newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying
minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday
newt: ???
myself
and i paid for yours too
im the one with an income
minho: .
well i didnt think youd remember that well.
newt: it was literally yesterday.
minho: yeah but ur old
newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU
minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔
tommy: guys stop fighting
newt: we aren't fighting
maybe this gc was a bad idea
tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!
y/n: NOOOO!
tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl
y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was
y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.
wait there is a knock at my door im scared
newt: answer it
minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????
newt: well usually yes
y/n: no im not expecting company
newt: just do it pls
y/n: ok :D
minho: bruh..
i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt
newt: why would you want that
minho: bc she owes me money
newt: YOU owe ME money
minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux
tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE
y/n: :o....
tommy: Y/N?????????
OH GOD THEY GOT HER
minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got
tommy: clearly its a surprised face
maybe its not her
its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use
y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!
minho: me
newt: you literally did not
minho: shut up
y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt
newt: well
y/n: :(
newt: what why are you sad?
minho: im hungry too
y/n: u spent ur money :(
newt: you're hungry are you not?
minho: she's not but i am
y/n: yeah but..
i feel bad you shouldn't have
newt: just eat it or i'll be mad
minho: i think i want red lobster
newt: it's really no big deal y/n
y/n: thank you newt :(((((
newt: you're welcome
go eat and watch ur show or smth
minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving
newt: can you shut up
gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.
minho: thank god
newt: good
tommy: good
y/n: good
the food is good too <3
newt: good.
_
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