#but had to relearn some control and kept it secret

[bluerosefox]

Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!

"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."

Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.

"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"

But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.

"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"

An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)

"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"

"...Losers bet...."

Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.

"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."

He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.

Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)

"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"

Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.

Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.

"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."

"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."

"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."

"Talia."

Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.

So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.

It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...

Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.

After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.

And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.

He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...

[colonelkaboom]

Lingering Sweetness

✦First time wearing his clothes

Read more - Xavier ✦ Zayne ✦ Rafayel ✦ Sylus

Visiting Caleb in Skyhaven as you try to rebuild the relationship you once had. This is the first time you're wearing his clothes since you were reunited, making it feel like a new experience for both of you.

✦ Caleb x Reader ✦ Word count: 1.8 k

Visiting Caleb in Skyhaven still made you feel a bit uneasy. He used to be your everything. Then you were forced to spend several months relearning how to live, without him holding your hand. Having him back in your life was unbelievably amazing, but so much had happened whilst you were apart and you had to get to know eachother again. 

There were times when it felt like nothing had happened and you were still the same two people who grew up together in the Bloomshore District. As if the explosion never happened and he never became Colonel Caleb. 

There was no doubt in either of your minds when you agreed to work on your relationship, despite the fact that you both now had secrets that could not be revealed in their entirety. You had never ever kept secrets from Caleb, but now there were certain things, certain people, he couldn’t know about. 

Caleb had made you dinner and the evening had been one of the nice ones where it feels like you were never apart. You were craving something sweet and had begged Caleb to make cupcakes with you. It really didn’t take much begging, he never could say no to you. 

“Pass me the eggs, Pips?” Caleb asked, although it came out more like a demand. You did as you were told and he got to cracking them into the bowl. As he stepped away to throw away the shells you took his place and got to work with the hand mixer. 

You spend the next few minutes mixing the batter diligently whilst Caleb gets started on the clean up. The batter finally has the perfect consistency and you turn the mixer off.

“Hey Caleb, do you want to lick the whisk?” You call out, thinking he was still busy tidying up. As you turn to look for him, still holding the hand mixer, you find yourself poking the chocolate covered appliance into his hard torso. Your mouth hangs open in surprise as you stare at the large brown stain in the middle of his chest. Setting the mixer down on the counter you quickly get ready to apologize, as this was truly an accident. 

Caleb gives you no opportunity to do so as he reaches behind you dipping his finger in the batter and smearing it on your cheek. Clearly proud of himself he looks down on you with a cocky smile plastered across his face. Needing to reclaim control of the interaction you try to quickly plan your next move. You swiftly grab the hem of his shirt and lean in to lick the batter from the fabric. Hm, odd choice… You definitely should have given this some more thought. 

“Pip-squeak!” He shrieks as he tries to back away. He doesn’t get too far though and finds himself trapped between you and the island counter. His hands fly into the air as if he’s afraid to touch you. You lick away most of the batter but as you’re about to pull away you turn your cheek taking extra care to wipe his counterattack into the fabric.

A mischievous chuckle escapes your lips when you back away to admire your masterpiece. 

“Satisfied?” The playful annoyance radiates off him, making you shiver. This is definitely not over. 

“You know, now that you have made it so very clear that you’re an adult, I might not go as easy on you as I did when we were kids.” He takes a few steps forward and suddenly you are the one who is trapped against the counters. You knew that if it came down to physical strength alone, you'd surely lose. To ensure you emerge victorious from this, preying on Caleb’s weaknesses is essential. 

You quickly duck away and escape your confinement. But it doesn’t take long before he has both your wrists pinned behind your back holding you close with only one hand. The cold metal grasp makes you wince. His free hand reaches back into the batter and two fingers appear before your face dripping with sweetness.

“Ready to yield, soldier?” The firm voice of the Colonel sends shivers down your spine as you wriggle in his grasp. Your gaze closely watching the threatening fingers taunting your face.

“Caleb, you’re hurting me.” You whimper. Current mission, prey on his weakness; you.

“Your arm… Ugh… It’s gripping my wrists t-too t-tightly.” Hopefully the additional sniffles you added were enough to make it sound convincing. His grip quickly softens and you’re able to retract your hands quick enough to catch him off guard. The once very threatening batter covered hand is your new target. You quickly grab it, twisting him into the same hold he had just reluctantly released you from. 

Unfortunately the process is not as graceful as you had intended it to be. As you begin to turn him around, the struggle causes both your limbs to flail awkwardly unsure of what moves to pull to reclaim the upper hand. You don’t even know who caused it, but you both tumble to the floor. He lands on his stomach with you on top. You still clutch his wrist and it is now pinned between his back and your chest. The worst part is that one of you somehow nudged the bowl and it also came crashing down, coating you in sticky batter. 

“Truce?” You whisper as your whole body tenses. You can feel the batter trickling down your arms and you know it’s gotten in your hair.

“What? Why? You’ve got the upper hand, Pips, this is not the time to back down.” He sounds stern and clearly disappointed.

“What is that feeling on my arm..?” A heavy sigh escapes him and you’re fairly certain he already knows the answer. You release his wrist and begin awkwardly removing yourself from his body. 

“Oh, Pip-squeak…” He stands back up and tilts his head as he takes in the state of you. The discomfort on your face tugs at his heartstrings. You stare at the mess you’ve made of his kitchen and you feel… Happy… A small smile dares to reveal itself as you look up at Caleb. His brows furrowed as he let out a confused chuckle. You never cease to amaze him. 

“Alright Cupcake, straight to the bathroom before you drip even more chocolate on my floors.” You can’t help but snicker at your newly acquired nickname. Hopefully it’s only temporary though, you’re not ready to let go of Pip-squeak. 

“Could you get me some clean clothes, Caleb?”

“Yes, yes! Please move, you’re drippin’ everywhere.” You raise your arms in defeat before disappearing into the bathroom. 

This felt like the longest shower ever. Getting the sticky batter out of your hair seemed nearly impossible and you couldn’t exactly ask Caleb for help. Could you? A loud knock on the door disrupts your inner monologue but you have no time to respond before you hear a voice. 

“I’m not peeking, just bringing you some clothes. I’ll leave ‘em on the counter. You need anything?”

You contemplate asking him for help, but decide against it. It would be wrong.

“No, thank you!” Hopefully he heard you. Your voice felt feeble against the sounds of water on tile. 

“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” The soft sound of a door closing lets you know you are alone once more. 

After emerging from the shower you find yourself puzzled by the garments on the counter. These aren’t mine… You see one item you recognize as a lacey pair of red panties stare back at you. Hm, I must have accidentally left them here the last time I visited… You sigh and begin to slip into Caleb’s chosen attire. The feeling of his clothes on your body brought a familiar comfort. A comfort you had not felt in way too long. It felt different now, not bad, just different. The grey sweatpants were far too long and your attempt to fold them up using the elastic hem was only semi successful. A dark purple crewneck lay gently on your shoulders whilst softly cascading down your arms. You could tell it was clean, but his scent still lingered on the fabric. My Caleb… 

Returning to the living room you are met by the sweet scent of chocolate cupcakes. The trail of batter you left behind was long gone and Caleb was relaxing on the couch with a book. He had cleaned himself up, exchanging his messy shirt for a clean one. 

“I look ridiculous.” You say catching his attention. A soft smile tugs at his lips as he takes you in admiring seeing you in his clothes once more. It was a sight for sore eyes. A sight he had desperately missed.

“You do not look ridiculous, you look very cute.” He smiled reassuringly. 

You slump down next to him on the couch placing your legs in his lap as you lean back. He gently strokes your ankles through the sweatpants whilst returning his focus to the book he had kept himself busy with.

“How did you have time to remake the batter?” You ask, referring to the sweet smell of baked goods filling the room.

“Oh, I didn’t, there was enough left in the bowl for two small cupcakes.” He keeps his gaze fixed on the book. His tender hands keep moving on your legs like it comes as easily to him as breathing. 

You silently play with the hem of your sweater before moving your fingers to tug at the collar. Subconsciously you lift it over your mouth and nose breathing in the lingering scent of Caleb.

“Whatchu doin’ over there, Pips?” Caught in the act. He puts his book away and leans down over your legs staring into your eyes from across the couch. The mischievous grin adorning his face tells you he definitely wants an answer. 

“No rush. Take your time to come up with a reason.” He smirks, never breaking eye contact. You remain quiet feeling your heart beat faster against your chest for every second you don’t respond.

With a deep breath you finally muster up the courage to say something. “I’ve missed you, Caleb.”

His eyes soften and the tension fades away. He looks at you with such longing. Like he hasn’t seen you for years and you finally returned to him. 

“I’ve missed you too, Pip-squeak.”

You both remain quiet as you take in every detail of each other. Eyes, Lips, Freckles. You want his image imprinted directly into your brain stem so it can never leave you. He can never leave you. Not again.

A sudden ding is heard from the kitchen but none of you react. Did you unknowingly enter a staring contest? Regardless of whatever reason you had for staring, neither of you wanted to be the first to look away.

AN: Hm, I wonder if those panties were in fact left behind on accident, or if there is another reason explaining why they might have been in his possession...

Read more ll Masterlist ll Colonel Kaboom 𓂃🖊

[encantobrainrot365]

So I just had an interesting revelation after an exchange of comments with a writer on ao3. Cause I think I finally figured out ✨Dolores✨

I realized that she and Mirabel are pretty similar people. And while some aspects of their lives and circumstances parallel one another, they don’t have quite enough in common to be all that close.

Mainly, their family is the glue that binds them together. So, they love each other, but they don’t know each other very well, or spend a whole lot of time together.

As they pointed out, Dolores doesn’t fully respect Mirabel. Not enough to take her seriously. In fact, it’s quite likely that Dolores pities her.

Yeah her cousin is gift-less and different from everyone else, but at least she has hobbies and free time. At least she doesn’t have to deal with any of the stress and drawbacks that comes with having a magical gift. And Dolores, of all people, would know.

Between the disasters she prevents; the secrets she keeps; the damage control she has to do; her mother’s weather; her struggles with her own gift; her crush on Mariano; and caring for her younger brothers, as she is the eldest sibling; on top of all her anxieties, Dolores has far too much on her mind to worry about Mirabel. She just isn’t a priority nor her responsibility. Pretty similar to Alma in that regard.

It’s not a pretty side of Dolores, but it makes her human. It makes her relatable. She is not perfect, no one is, and we shouldn’t expect her to be.

On the other hand, I think Mirabel sympathizes with Dolores but that won’t stop her from trying to butter her prima up and asking her for favors. She doesn’t really know Dolores and I don’t think she trusts Dolores either, at least not yet, (which is honestly, valid). She also might not see her as a role model, not the way she does for every other woman in their family.

This is made evident in “Waiting on a Miracle,” and “The Family Madrigal” where she expounds upon and sings everyone’s praises but Dolores’s. I don’t think Mirabel knows what Dolores does other than ‘she can hear everything we’re saying.’ We, as the audience have to guess, to infer what Dolores’s role in the community is. Dolores just isn’t someone on Mirabel’s radar.

Again, this is a character flaw for Mirabel; a blind spot that makes her all the more relatable to us. She’s not immune to taking people for granted or overlooking their hard work.

However, even though they’re not close to each other they don’t go out of their way to hurt one another the way Isa and Mirabel do.

Both of them care very deeply about their family and would do anything in their power to make them proud, protect them & make them happy. This is why Mirabel helps Antonio to his door. This is why Dolores goes out of her way to speak up, unprompted, for the first time, to share her honest thoughts and opinions about Bruno.

Someone that she empathizes with. Someone she loves so much, she kept the fact that he was hiding in the walls a secret for ten years! If you consider all of this together, it’s no wonder she blabbed at dinner.

Despite how wrong it was she was operating from a place of stress and anxiety, not malice (like some would assume).

I think during reconstruction for Casita, and without the magic hanging over them, Dolores and Mirabel finally find that report they’ve been missing out on.

The whole family is relearning how to respect one another and truly understand their needs and personal boundaries. To be more proactive in showing how much they love and appreciate one another, instead of leaving things unsaid. They spend more time together actually bonding and listening to one another.

Building a relationship they didn’t know was missing for the past ten years. Just like Mirabel and her sisters. Or Alma and her children and grandchildren. How beautiful is that?

[saturnsorbits]

I'm sobbing! This was so beautiful and so full of emotion! 🥺 Is it safe to say that he chose you? I mean he said he'd wait for you and wants to try and save what's left of your relationship! And I can see he still loves you so much! Was what happened enough to get Jirou out of his system?

And how do you feel? Obviously you need time to heal and feel like yourself again, that's totally understandable! And I know you didn't say it back but you do still love him, you showed you care about him when you told him to eat and sleep! But do you want to try again with him? Or are you going to use that time to maybe get over him? What do the guys say?

-👀

As soon as I leave the house, I all, but collapse into Bakugo. He’s solid and warm as I press my cheek against his chest, my fists balled in the flimsy material of his windbreaker as the material of the T-shirt underneath darkens with tears. I’m numb. Completely. Despite the somewhat positive note I leave Kaminari; I’m still left stranded in an endless desert of hurt…

‘I didn’t want to feel like this again…’ A sob wrecks my chest as the well deepens. It all comes flooding back. Heartbreak is a strange emotion. It’s creeping, until it isn’t, but as it nestles back in my bones it feels like coming home. I’ve been here before and it hurts. It’s fucking hurts so much. I choke on a sob, tighten my fist in his shirt. ‘I don’t want - I can’t. I can’t do this again.’

Bakugo feels it too. The prickle of my heartbreak infests him. It’s been a while since he last saw me like this, but it’s still far too soon for his liking. It makes him sick to the stomach. But it’s the memories that really do a number on him. It’s hard to forget the last time he’d seen me reduced to a shadow, struggling against the tide of numbness swelling in my chest, he remembers it too well. He remembers because he was the cause of it. ‘I know.’ He coos, kisses my crown and holds me back like he’s keeping me together. ‘I know, baby. I know.’

I stay with Kiri and Baku for a little while longer before sorting something out for myself. It’s a breath of fresh air and finally… I can start to heal…

[masked-kitsune]

Danny Phantom Separate au

In this au Danny and Phantom are two separate entities. The two made a deal during Danny's portal accident. Danny was given a few basic powers, mainly intangiblity and invisibility. Phantom is the banished son of Paraih Dark. Phantom was starting to fade when Danny encountered him in the newly active portal. The two were both dying and struck a desperate deal to help each survive and so Phantom's core turned into an amulet that Danny now wears around his neck allowing the two to switch places quickly with their usual transformation. It's sorta like a Yami and Yugi situation for the two of them.

•Sam and Tucker actually don't know about Danny and Phantom being two separate beings, they assumed they're the same since Danny always wears the amulet and he never bothered to correct them. They're proven wrong about this assumption during memory blank

•Identity crisis was the result of the two fighting. The Fenton ghost catcher gave the two enough charge to be separated with some issues

•Danny learns that he and Phantom can temporarily turn into the other with enough of an ectoplasmic charge

•Danny could tell something was off about Phantom during the circus Gothica incident but didn't immediately chalk it up to mind control until Lancer was locked in a closet.

•Memory blank caused them to lose their connection which in turn caused them to lose their memories alongside the tampering of Desiree with her magic due to the wish Sam made. They had to relearn a few things especially after Sam made her counter wish

•Dani was the result of Vlad trying to clone Danny without knowing that he and Phantom weren't the same person which resulted in Dani and the other clones being extremely unstable

•Vlad is still a halfa due to his ectoacne

•Dan is the result of Phantom being corrupted when Vlad stole the amulet off Danny during the events of the ultimate enemy and the halfa trying to use the amulet. Danny tried to save Phantom which resulted in the teen's death, Vlad's ghost half being absorbed into the amulet and a weakened Phantom being overwhelmed and absorbed by the evil ghost half.

•Clockwork eventually removed the time medallion from Danny's chest

•Clockwork is Phantom's other parent and ends up as a father figure/mentor to Danny

•Danny becomes part ghost due to Phantom

•Phantom shows some of his real power during his fight against Paraih Dark since he manages to briefly send Amity Park back to the real world from the ghost zone. The fight took a toll on both Phantom and Danny. It was more of an emotional toll for Phantom while the physical toll went to Danny

•Phantom remembers bits and pieces of his life in the ghost zone. Phantom is 1400 in human years and is 14 in ghost years

•Paraih went mad due to a poisoning attempt by an observatant when one made a bid for power after sealing Clockwork in the clock tower with a powerful artifact alongside Phantom. He was told his husband and son were lost and in his grief drank the blood blossom wine that ended with him going mad and leading to him needing to be sealed. The observatants cast the traitor into the deepest darkest parts of the ghost zone as punishment

•Phantom leans all of this via Clockwork

•Thunderstorms are hard on both Phantom and Danny

•Phantom was poisoned in a ghostly assassination attempt

•Skulker was hired by said assassin at first and then by Vlad

•Phantom being the prince was kept a secret from the rest of the zone except for Frostbite in the far frozen

•Danny keeps the amulet tucked in his shirt to avoid his parents equipment from pin pointing it

•The Fenton parents don't know about either portal incident

[Feel free to add more to this. It'll be interesting seeing what others come up with including crossovers, just nothing too extreme]

[missjaystone]

“Don’t Wake Up”

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader | Bucky Barnes x Reader Summary: Work keeps you busy. That's why as long as Steve's gentle and doesn't wake you up, he's free to do what he wants while you sleep, but what he wants is his best friend to feel what he feels. Word Count: 1,800

Trigger Warning(s): Somnophilia, NonCon/DubCon, Drugging Please DO NOT ignore trigger warnings and read at your own discretion.

Life was unpredictable, anybody who knew exactly how their life would go was either omnipotent or the most boring being alive. Early on you learned to roll with life's punches and that's how you were where you were right now. A top SHIELD agent trusted with a great deal of knowledge and an almost insane amount of clearance, working closing with the Avengers. You rose thru SHIELD's ranks fairly quickly, especially for someone of your age. You were mid-level when they unfroze Captain America. You were one of the people entrusted with the task of helping Steve warm up to this new 21st-century society, pun not intended.

Once the initial shock of being thrust into this world had worn off, you and Steve developed a comfortable and vital friendship. You two spoke multiple times a day and saw each other frequently. The two of you were together so often, people used to joke that if one of you was around, the other wasn't far behind and they usually weren't wrong. It was no secret nobody was surprised when Tony loudly made a scene when he saw you two sharing a New Year's kiss. Tony shouting "I knew they'd end up together! I fucking knew it!" to everyone on the Avengers team and a handful of SHIELD agents wasn't how you two intended on exposing your relationship, but life is unpredictable.

Things around you gradually became more complex but that wasn't a surprise, you just kept rolling with the punches. The battle of New York happened, Ultron happened, Hydra's infiltration of SHIELD happened, the team grew, the entire situation with the Sokovia Accords happened, the complexities already on your plates multiplied. Of course, you stuck with Steve thru everything, you never stopped having faith in him. There were a handful of times where you could've turned and stopped fighting but how could you abandon your Captain? You loved him. Over the years all the fights, all the curveballs, everything wore on you both and the two of you had to change with the times and adapt to your surroundings. You were both changing before each other. There were times where you didn't see each other for weeks at a time; Steve would get busy with his missions around the globe and you had a mountain of SHIELD files to deal with; drives that had to be decrypted and stored properly, reports that had to go to a dozen different people, agents to recruit and review, clips to scour with minute details.

Things got a little bumpy when Bucky came to stay at the tower; Steve trying to help his oldest friend get accustomed to everything and you helping any way you could. You couldn't bear the thought of telling Steve when you started to feel uncomfortable around the brunette. The lingering stares, the prolonged hugs, the borderline-peculiar conversations; you brushed it all off. This was a man who spent 70 years as a mind-controlled assassin, he had everything ripped from him and now he had to readjust to modern society. He had to learn how to form relationships again, he had to relearn everything so there were bound to be moments of discomfort as he navigated his way. In all of that, however, you missed the small frowns and brooding moments he had whenever you and Steve were being overly affectionate together. He'd never do anything about it though, you were Steve's. He'd had his fair share of ladies back in their time but you were Steve's girl, you made Steve happy and Bucky couldn't-wouldn't take that from him.

When your workload multiplied again, you weren't as available as you used to be and it wore on Steve a bit. He and his super-soldier stamina had gotten used to a certain level of intimacy that wasn't happening anymore. It came to a head one night when Steve was in the mood but you were too tired to even pretend. Your words were mumbled as you snuggled against your pillow but Steve heard them loud and clear "do whatever you need to get off, baby, just don't wake me up." He asked if you were sure and got a hum in response but that didn't entirely suffice. He gave your shoulders a small shake until you turned to look at him. You looked tired and were so close to kicking him out of bed "Stevie, do whatever you want just please let me sleep."

You two still had sex other times, they were more intimate and personal though. In a mildly humorous way, that seemed to boost your relationship some. You'd wake up the morning feeling surprisingly peaceful for a few minutes before your work to-do list came to mind and Steve found out he enjoyed the idea of doing something he wasn't supposed to. He'd made it into his own little game; how much could he do without waking you up?

Tonight, you had your nose buried in your computer screen and papers were strewn across the bed; you were already exhausted but you still had a number of things to finish. You were pulled out of your hype focused state when the bed dipped beside you. The blue-eyed man offered you a cup of water with a sweet smile "come on, I haven't seen you drink anything in over an hour." You thanked him with a quick peck before taking a long and much-needed drink, thanking him when you set the nearly-empty cup back down.

Time felt like it began to drag on slowly, heavy tiredness slowly enveloping you throughout the next hour. You didn't even realize you'd dozed off until Steve was gently laying you down, pulling the blankets over you. "Steve, I still have work to do," you forced yourself to mumble, everything just felt heavy. "You can't even keep your eyes open, finish it in the morning," he said softly. He hushed you when you tried to object "Captain's orders, doll." You couldn't argue with that. Literally, there wasn't an ounce of strength or a grain of energy to fuel a disagreement. You were out like a light in a manner of seconds.

The blond stayed snuggled up beside you, stroking your hair soothingly to lull you into a deep sleep. No more than ten minutes had passed before the door opened and closed without a sound. An unsure Bucky stood by the dresser with his hands in his pockets and spoke quietly "are you sure about this Steve?" He nodded "I'm positive, Buck. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't sure about it. I see the way you look at her, you deserve happiness too y'know." Bucky started to question him but Steve stopped him "she'll love you as much as she does me, Buck, it'll take some time and subliminal messages but she will."

Bucky looked at your sleeping form in thought, you were a nice person; you were smart, helpful, genuine, charming, you made him feel normal. He'd never be normal but if having you made him feel that way, who was he to pass up the opportunity? He quickly shed his pajamas while Steve moved your bottoms down. They'd been planning this for what felt like ages and they knew there'd be no going back, but it gave them a chance at a future they got to actually choose.

A thick silence filled the room as Bucky moved slowly to hover above you, lining himself up at your entrance with a slightly-shaking hand. With one last confirmation look from Steve, he slowly eased himself into you. He bit his lip roughly to keep from groaning and wake you up. The crushed-up Valium in your water should've kept you from waking up at anything but he wasn't taking a chance and getting too caught up in the moment. He finally broke the silence with a mumbled groan after finally bottoming out. Bucky's eyes fell closed and he stilled to savor the feeling, almost cumming right then.

Very slowly, he started to pull his hips back before pushing back in just as slowly. He continued like this for what he thought was ages and when the only response from you was a mumble here or a moan there, he slowly picked up his pace. Steve was in heaven watching the scene unfold in front of him. There was a slight pang in his chest for betraying your trust and not only letting but encouraging his friend to use you but he had a plan, a plan he was confident in. He started off palming his throbbing erection over his sweatpants before eventually pulling them down and fisting his member. There were a few moments where both stilled in fear when you stirred before settling. Bucky finished first, his hips jerking briefly before they stilled, a satisfied groan leaving his lips as he moved some hair out of your face. Steve finished when he watched him slowly pull out and came with a muttered 'fuck'. Steve quickly grabbed a few tissues, handing some to Bucky to clean you up while he took care of himself. Once the evidence was removed, the men shared a tight hug. Bucky actually looked a little more like himself now, he looked the slightest bit happier and more at peace.

In your unconscious and drugged state, all that you really felt was a sort of tugging pressure but you couldn't open your eyes. You heard voices conversing quietly after the pressure was completely gone and you felt the bed move as somebody got up. Despite your best efforts to listen, you couldn't make out the words. It took all of your strength to open your eyes even slightly but you could've sworn you saw a brunette figure leaving the room. There was no time to process it before your eyes fell shut again and you were entirely asleep.

You still felt a bit groggy when you woke up in the morning but nothing seemed out of place. Steve was quick to appear with a couple of mugs of coffee, handing you yours before he took a seat. He planted a sweet kiss on your temple. When you didn't say anything after taking your mug, Steve looked you over "are you feeling okay, doll? Are you coming down with something?" He asked, some concern in his eyes as he placed the back of his hand to your forehead for a temperature check. You finally took his hand and kissed his palm, sending him a smile "I'm fine, baby, just a little groggy is all. Crazy dream is all." Steve smiled sweetly at you “wanna talk about it?" An image of Bucky on top of you flashed across your mind and you shook your head “I don’t even remember what it was about.” You kissed his cheek softly and smiled. After all, it was only a dream.

[sun-flower-children]

Felix with MC that has wings

A/N: Yes @demon-paradise​ I totally can write that :) awww thank you so much :’))) I might have changed some details on accident so I’m sorry in advance but yeah not too much based on canon.

When you first entered the world you were how you were at the convention. Wearing your handmade, but still well crafted, Sunstone Order Knight uniform and in a very much basic human form. When you were surprised by the feeling of a sobbing crying form you still had a normal human silhouette. When you met Anisa and Sage in the fire-lit office you still looked the same. You continued to look the same while you lived in their “secret” headwaters and learned about the world around you as well as how to defend yourself. 

Felix mentioned how he could sense the magic flowing through you and that it also felt relatively knew. You told him all you could about the convention with the glowing from inside a glass box. You don't remember quite touching it but you felt leaving the place you were at to be in the place you are now. You were trying to just not randomly let out bits of magic and not turn anyone so Felix taught you breathing excessive and other techniques to help you with control and letting gout the amount that you intend.

After touching Rime’s magical book that Felix unearthed from the depths of the study’s couch you had felt a strange stirring and a wave of tingles, kind of similar to those one would get when listening to asmr but all over the body, then immediately feeling a sharp pain in your back. The initial shock left you in almost a coma state and you woke up on your bed. You were laying on your stomach and felt an unnatural amount of weight on your back pushing down into the mattress. Experimentally stretching your arms out and feeling grossed out by the slime like liquid that was covering the bed on both sides of you. You felt a little bubble of panic popping inside of your stomach and starting breathing in slowly to calm yourself down. You focused of the soft feathery feeling that’s tickling the back of your knees. ‘That doesn’t feel so bad’ you think to yourself.

Bringing your arms in at a 90 degree angle, preparing to push yourself up, and surprisingly feel that you couldn’t. There was too much weight for you to push yourself so easily. You open your eyes a look toward the window and see that the sun had just started pushing against the horizon. Your eyes wander towards the floor-length mirror on the opposite side of the room and see that your shape on the bed wasn’t what you expected it to be. you could make out the bump for your head but then there was a giant and lengthy curve before seeing the subtle shapes of your feet.

Now abandoning the calm breathing technique you start to panic. Without thinking you flung yourself off the bed and onto the floor. The weight crushing you and pushing you to the floor. You slide yourself, shaking and struggling, reaching for the nearest chair to push yourself upwards. Arms shaking from being bed ridden for a while and creaking under all the pressure. ‘How long was I on the bed’ you think once again to yourself. Finally bringing yourself high enough to bringing your knee off the floor and immediately crumbled again, your head hitting the edge of the chair. Your groan was loud and cut through the silence that you didn’t quite realized was so deafening until now.

Enough time had passed where you were struggling to get on your knees that now the sunlight was peaking over the bottom of the window sill. Your knees gradually warmed up and were ready to bring you into the vertical position you have been working towards. when looking at your feet you was long feathers sweeping the floor and tickling your toes once in a while. Breathing hard, sweating and shaking with pain and also from being used so quickly after not moving for so long. Your back ached and you could truly stand already trying to stay in decent posture only to fall backwards and feeling the flames of pain searing up your back. Tears flowing of the sides of your face and you angrily cried in frustration. You could stand as long as you hunched over so that the weight on your back wasn’t dragging you down as much.

Looking into the mirror you saw the wings that were now behind you. The weight that you could feel pulling tender skin down and stretching it in every which a way as you moved. You were too tired to feel the shock you would have otherwise, delirious with the pain. Giving up on standing you flung yourself to the wall space by the mirror and leaned against the nearby bookshelf. The sounds of footsteps could be heard. But lighter smaller ones, not those of soldiers or even a large cat man. Too weak to properly defend yourself from whatever it maybe your curled up into a ball, arms over your head. Your new wings instinctively moving to circled around you like a shield.

The door opened and someone walked in. “(Y/N)?” a soft voice called out.

‘Felix’ you thought, recognizing the voice but not moving. Instead you made a noise that was meant to be “here” but instead came out as more of a painful groan.

He moved towards you and could hear him in the space in-front of you.

“Barista, are you...” he pauses,”...let’s get you back into the bed.” still in the same tone of voice he used before. You made a weak noise in defiance, not wanting to go through the hassle of moving again. After the faint noise of Felix muttering something under his breath that wasn’t in the speaking language, you felt some of the weight lifted and almost thought that the wings had come off. you look up seeing a rather disheveled Felix; his glasses skewed and off center. He held both your arms and led you slowly back to the bed. You were wearing someone bed gown but the back was either cut or ripped open because you could feel the cold breeze much more easily on your back.

In the new mornings light you noticed that you wings were the same color as you hair but a but darker and much more silky and shiny looking. “Like one of those L’oreeel commercials.” stumbles out off your mouth. Felix stops and looks at you, probably confused but you aren’t looking at him, before bringing you to sit down on the bed. You leaned down slowly to lay back down again, this time on your side. The wings moving out to make a more comfortable position. Felix sat down and began to explain.

Most of the information was lost on you as you kept fading in and out of focus. But you understood that the magic book reacted to you being not of this world and having magic in a way that wasn’t at all anticipated.The wings somehow had to do with some history thingy that may or may not have happened before and maybe something else happened but you didn’t catch it. Some more things happened. Something else about Sage panicking in the corner when it happened and Anisa freaking out and yelling at Felix and something else. Guards maybe have came. Did he just say that they made you pretend you were a doll in the Earth stuff room when the guards came in looking for a leaf gremlin? That’s not right.

“And that about sums up what happened during the week you were, uh, developing a new, uh...” Felix looks at your new wings and the open flesh on your back,” wings.” He sighs a deep sigh. “(Y/N) are you hungry?” That would make sense since you haven't been able to eat in a while but you didn’t feel hungry. You wanted to move and change clothes. Maybe take a shower because the slime has gotten into weird places.

The next few weeks was basically you trying to relearn how to move. You learned that you have to lift your wings with your back muscles to make it easier to walk around normally. The giant baths now became very useful with all the extra space being very accommodating of your wings. The best you had ever felt during this entire period was when the four of you went outside, not long after you showered, and you opened your wings to the fullest. Really stretching them and fluffing them out. Hearing the awes of the people around you admiring your wings.

Later that day Felix and you had a little dinner date, if you will, on one of the higher balconies. He explained that your back had started to grow two lumps and slower grew. The way he described all the slime coating your wings reminded you of that one scene from the Matrix. You accidentally said that thought out loud which then resulted in you explained what the 2009 world was like, explaining technology, then getting into the movie itself. The entire time you were explaining to him about Earth he was looking at you, nodding and asking more specific questions every once in a while.

Once the group had gotten more used to your wings and making sure that they were healthy, everything began to lighten up. Sage would make cat vs bird jokes, Anisa would try to come up with ways to make life more comfortable, which then ended with you moving to another room with a bigger door ( it was closer to Felix’s so you didn’t complain).

The first time you tried to fly, he was so worried and had his spells ready to catch you ( which did help the first few times). Eventually you got it; not being able to go for long amounts of time but could glide. Everyday working out with Sage to get those wing muscles going so that you could launch yourself vertically from the ground.

Felix thinks its so cute when your wings also react with you, though he will never tell you. The way the puffed up, to make you look bigger, when he was around his father. Or when he would kiss you your wings would relax and touch the floor. When you are really excited they would do a ton of tiny flaps. Felix would love to clean your wings for you. They are massive and it does take a lot of time but this is something that he wants to do for you because he feels like it’s partially his fault.

Felix loved you wings. Hey thought they were so beautiful and made you a literal angel in his eyes. The way they shined in the sun was almost like how you would brighten his day with your laugh. If the two of you were sitting close he would either pet your wing(s) or even closer so you wings circle the two of you. The little privacy bubble was always welcome but also made him feel like it was more intimate. At some point you would hug him and the wings would then engulf the two of you; makes him feel so safe, wanted and loved. You quickly caught on to this and made sure to do it more often. Felix will sometime get overwhelmed in public and you would use your wings as dividers and creating a safer space away from whatever stimulated him. On warmer days you would create a cool breeze by gently flapping your wings. When people try to catch you for your wings he goes full ape shit on them because how dare they try to touch and harm his dear barista, his dear angel (Y/N)

“Your wings are beautiful (Y/N) “ he would say randomly one day.

“ Aww thank you Felix. I’m so happy you like them” you said while smiling at him.

Felix looked away, trying to hide his blush, and brought his book up closer to his face. He was tempted to look at you when he heard you softly giggle but restrained himself from doing so. The rest of the afternoon would be spent stealing secret looks from each other and smiling yourselves when one sees the other doing something cute.

A/N: I might make another lil’ story, a kind of part 2, depends how well this one does :)

MASTERLIST  < for more :D

[jackdaniel69nice]

Ninjago ATLA au book 4: Air

(Book 1: Fire, Book 2: Water, Book 3: Earth)

Cole is unconscious for three days. In that time Jay sticks close to his side, actively trying to avoid Kai. Kai is constantly with Lloyd who still hasn’t woken up. Nya has to alternate between healing the two and mediating their hostility. Kai is mad at Jay because he kept the secret of his bending for so long, Jay just doesn’t want to talk about it.

Kai forces Jay into a confrontation trying to force him to bend. But Jay’s bending is unstable because of his emotions and he ends up hurting himself. Kai really looks at him for the first time and sees his pain and scars. He takes him back to Nya and isolates himself

(Kai has been through a lot of shit in a short time. Losing his nation, constantly supporting the team, having his face scarred, Skylor’s betrayal, losing Zane, finding out about his parents, AND now Lloyd’s in a coma has put a lot of stress on him. Jay was just the camel that that broke the straws back.)

When Cole wakes up he isn’t very happy about the division between the team. Under Cole’s urging (and reassurance) he is able to tell Nya about his past. He says he was left with the Walkers as a baby. He assumes his bio-parents were fire nation fugitives that fled to the earth nation but has idea who they were or why. He has no explanation for why he seems to be able to only bend lightning either but it has always been something that comes naturally to him. He’s able to sense the energy in the world around him with ease and found a way to manipulate it. Everything he knew about lightning he had to learn himself, he ended up blowing himself up more then a hundred times. His skill and knowledge is why he was able to invent electricity. He was finally able to use the lightning bending scroll to be able bend properly. He has always had to keep his ability a secret because then the earth nation would know he was fire nation and he would be arrested. It’s been a constant weight over his head his entire life. He wasn’t able to talk about it before because of his fear of their reaction and his fear of himself. They comfort him and thank him for being honest. Unbeknownst to any of them, Kai had listened in.

Cole finds out Kai had attacked jay and was reasonably pissed. When he goes after him Kai apologizes (like bowing down head to the floor apologizing). Jay says he’s sorry too for lying and they’re alright. For the following weeks while lloyd is still healing they train together

When Lloyd wakes up he’s a mess. He failed and lost everything. He’s bitter and hateful towards his father and desperately wants to take him down so after he recovers he dedicates his time to training. Their invasion plan is still underway with a smaller group (elemental resistance anyone?).

Lloyd decides he wants Jay to try and teach him lightning bending. Jay says he barely knows anything but is willing to give it a shot/It goes about as terrible as possible because Lloyd is emotionally unstable but Jay sees some potential in him.

Jay tells Lloyd about how he never knew he was adopted and only found out after his element appeared. The kept it a secret from him and it hurt him just like Garmadon’s betrayal hurt Lloyd. But his parents still accept him and love him dearly just like Garmadon loves Lloyd and refuses to hurt him.

Lloyd gets upset because his father has killed innocents and holds no love for him anymore. Jay says he doesn’t have to forgive the bad but recognize that there is still good in him. Lightning is all about separation of positive and negative energy just like separating positive and negative feelings. Until Lloyd recognizes his feelings towards his father, he won’t be able to bend lightning. Lloyd storms (ha!) off

They are quick to visit the air temples in search of any wisdom they can get on air bending. At the northern air temple they meet dr. Borg, a nonbender but amazing inventor. Him and Jay are able to create amazing flying technology that unfortunately falls into the hands of the fire nation (the term “air ship” is used a lot more literally here).

Morro is busy “contemplating his place in the universe” and visits the southern air temple on his own, his old home. He sees the team but decides to do nothing about it.

At the western air temple Lloyd finds...his mom!?

Lloyd learns he’s air nation from his mother which is why he became the avatar. She’s a nonbender and left the air nomads very young going to live in the earth nation then fire nation. After Garmadon started his decent to madness she couldn’t live with him anymore and she knew Lloyd was the avatar so she tried to flee with him. Unfortunately she couldn’t get away with him and he was left behind and she was assumed dead. She came back to the air temples in hopes of preserving their history and stayed in hiding.

She can’t actually teach him air bending but she will help with the invasion and gives him advice. If there is anyone out there that can teach him air bending, they will find him.

Kai and Nya get word that the Time Twins have their parents and go rescue them

Invasion goes the same as canon

luckily if there’s one thing Morro is good at it’s finding Lloyd. So yeah the whole shebang goes down with training and what not

Misako gave them stuff on airbenders she was able to save and it tells of a tribe of dragon riders. So they go there and meet Faith and pass the dragon test and see first born.

Air bending is about peace and fun, definitely not morro’s vibe, but he’ll relearn to control it. Lloyd figures out he really does need to lock down on his spirituality.

Air bending training goes well after that

Reuniting with master wu! Morro apologizes but there was never any need, wu already forgave him.

Wu tells jay about his parents. The Gordon’s were a line of very powerful fire benders that could only use lightning. Garmadon saw Libber as a threat and tried to kill her and jay. She was able to slow the assassins down enough for Cliff to escape with him where they fled to the earth nation. Libber died but Cliffs whereabouts are unknown. Neat

Skylor and Vania go against Harumi and escape. They get to the ninja gang and Kai is still pissed at Skylor but you know what this might as well happen

Nya rescuing Pixal from prison, sure why not

Final battle

Lloyd is forced to use lighting so he sees this weird vision where garmadon is chained up in his own mind with the overlord controlling him. Garmadon calls out to Lloyd and apologizes and says he loves him before lloyd is ripped away. He realizes he needs to help his dad if he’s ever going to save the world and let’s go of his emotional issues with him.

Overlords escape tears a hole between spirit realm. Lloyd is able to unlock his avatar state. Forces OL back into spirit realm.

Kai and Nya fight Harumi

Jay and Cole taking down the flying ship army. They succeed but are stuck and Cole falls. Skylor and catches him though hah (jay was legit scared for a second there)

Lloyd locks the overlord back up and purifies the world of the dark matter he was spreading. He purified his dad too and brought him back. Yay garmadad!

[lassieposting]

💘💘💘💘 + ghasdug

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

So Skug says they stowed away on the same ship, but this is...not exactly true.

He stowed away on that ship, because he was running away from home and he was a snobby little lordling who'd never had to fend for himself a day in his life, so the furthest ahead he'd actually thought to plan was "they won't want to turn around and drop me off once they're underway".

Ghastly was not stowed away at any point during that trip. Ghastly was signed on for the journey as a deckhand, because Ghastly's mother told him he needed to, and it had to be that particular ship. Ghastly gets seasick, and did not want to go to sea in the slightest. But Ghastly's mother has visions and so Ghastly does as he is told. Apparently there was something important waiting for him on that ship.

Anyway Skug pops out once he thinks they're far enough away from shore that they'll leave him be rather than take him back to port, and he is incredibly mistaken. The captain is in favour of turning him around right there and then, because he's clearly some rich lord's brat, and whoever his father is will probably pay handsomely for his safe return. Ghastly manages to talk the ship's crew into letting him stay on, provided he pulls his weight like the rest of them.

Needless to say, even before they're attacked by pirates, that voyage is a rude awakening for poor Skug, and good lord does Ghastly hear all about it. He has blisters. His feet hurt. This shirt was expensive and now it's all sweaty. His hair is in his eyes all the time. He's tired. The guy in the next bunk snores. Some of these people look like they have lice. He didn't realise he'd be doing manual labour, this is servant stuff, how dare they.

Ghastly does. Not realise at that point what he has let himself in for.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Poor Ghastly gets to pine for years. Baby Skug isn't a great boyfriend. He's less invested - he loves Ghastly, but they have two totally different outlooks.

Ghastly is ugly. He's always been ugly. He's got a face he believes only his mother could love. He's never believed he'd find someone who saw past that or loved him regardless. So as soon as he gets Skug into bed, he's over the moon and ready to commit. He's like 17, and would absolutely settle down there and then given half a chance.

Skug, on the other hand, was a weird-looking child who only recently grew into an attractive adolescent and he is loving it. For the first time in his life, girls are noticing him. He doesn't want to settle down, he wants to play the field and sow some wild oats and have fun. So there are periods of exclusivity with Ghastly, interspersed with periods where Skug basically drops him to chase after the latest pretty bit of skirt.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Ghastly's smitten by the time they make it back to Ireland - Skug is a bit soft and allergic to hard work and a pain in the arse, but he's flashy and charismatic and funny and pays attention to him without gawking at his face (past the initial "good god, what happened to you?") - but Skug is well and truly settled into living with Ghastly's family by the time he actually gives Ghas the come-on.

where their first date was and what it was like

They went to the local tavern and got drunk, and then rode home in the pouring rain once it kicked them out at closing time.

When they got home, Ghastly's parents had long since gone to bed, but that wasn't necessarily unusual - once Skug, who has a considerable allowance, is old enough to start drinking, Saoirse institutes a rule that if they're not home by the time she and her husband turn in for the night, she'll leave blankets in the barn and they can sleep there instead. She's not having them barging in, wasted, at all hours of the day and night, waking her up after a hard day's work.

So they put the horses away and give them a quick rub down, and Ghastly is trying to look anywhere but Skug because Skug's shirt has gone kind of see-through and poor Ghastly is an awkward, horny teenage boy, but he keeps shooting him these furtive glances over the horse's back and Skug notices because Skug notices everything and lowkey teases him about it. "Want me to sit for a portrait? It'll last longer," sort of teasing, and Ghastly tries to laugh along but he's also vibrant red because he's been caught staring, so obviously Skug realises something's up

And he's precisely as tactful about it as he ever is about anything, and jokes, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted me," and Ghastly's ears burn and he doesn't deny it quick enough and now Skug's eyebrows are inching towards his hairline and Ghastly panics because like, he's ugly, Skug is going to be disgusted or laugh at him and he can't cope with either, so he just? Freezes?

But like. Skug was a weird-looking, unfortunate child who very recently grew into an attractive adolescent, so he fucking thrives on attention. So his response to this awkward not-quite-a-confession is actually a moment of silence while he mulls this new information over (this feels like an eternity to poor Ghastly) followed by an early attempt at using The Hot Voice and, "If you want me, have me."

So, they end up having sex in the hayloft on the blankets Ghastly's mom left out for them. Ghastly has never even been kissed and doesn't admit that he has no idea what he's doing until he realises Skug is expecting him to take the lead. He also blurts that he loves Skug when he nuts, so like. It's your typical painfully embarrassing virginity loss.

It can't be all bad though, because Skug's up for doing it again.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

So in my endgame-ghasdug AU, they get back together post-TDOTL. Ghastly survives being stabbed, but the blade nicked his spinal cord, so he's in a wheelchair for quite a while, and then has to do A Lot of physical therapy to relearn how to walk. Skug shows up at the hospital/facility where he's recovering every day unless there's an emergency, because Ghastly is very depressed and struggling with survivor's guilt over Anton and doesn't see the point in doing his physio because it hurts and he's exhausted and he shouldn't be alive anyway. And Skug annoys him into doing it, mostly by heckling him from the other side of the room, because he's not great at the whole emotional support thing. Ghastly will mutter, "Christ, I want to hit you," and Skug will tell him, "Well, if you come over here to do it I won't even duck." And if Ghastly gets his ass up and uses the walking frame support thing to cross the room, well, then Skug will take a punch like a man and be happy about it because Ghastly walked.

They also talk a lot during this period. Ghastly feels like shit, and he reminisces a lot about the good old days and how he never saw Ravel's betrayal coming and memories he has of Anton, and sometimes that veers into memories they share from when they were young men. And Skug, at this point, is old enough and has been through enough to admit that he wasn't great to Ghastly when they were boys. He was flighty and selfish and high-maintenance, and he would've hated to be treated the way he treated Ghastly. And he tells him that, at one point - that he's sorry, and if he could go back and do it differently, he would, assuming Ghastly was daft enough to be willing to put up with him a second time.

And Ghastly laughs and tells him, "I'd still have you now, you stupid bastard."

who proposes first

Ghastly. They're 19/20. Skug thinks he's joking.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Neither - they don't announce it, but it's not exactly a secret either. Ghastly's parents notice pretty much straight away, but other than a few parental pointers on what is and isn't appropriate, it's not really a topic of conversation.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Skug's sister Confelicity accepts the first proposal she gets at the age of 16, because she's desperate to get out of their parents' house and away from their toxic relationship and controlling behaviour. Their father disapproves and refuses to attend the wedding (and, of course, their mother is not allowed her own opinion), and Carver is out of the country, so Skug stands in to a) pay and b) give away the bride. He takes Ghastly for moral support, because he doesn't like most of his relatives and also doesn't like the groom (Thurid Guild - their relationship doesn't improve when Confelicity divorces him a few years later to marry a baronet). While they're watching the couple say their vows, Ghastly murmurs, "We should get married."

Skug is right in the middle of his hoe phase and does not realise Ghastly's serious.

who’s more dominant

Generally, Skug. He is one hell of a force of personality and Ghastly does get steamrollered quite a bit, although he does eventually learn how to say no. Skug always gets things his way, always does whatever he likes and be damned to the consequences, and Ghastly is always there with a handful of the back of his shirt, pulling his ass out of whatever fire he started.

In bed, though, it's Ghastly.

how into pda they are

As teenagers, Ghastly's mother has to reprimand them occasionally for being too all over each other, but teenagers be rabidly horny. As grown men, they're just sort of casually affectionate. Comfortable with each other. When they're relaxing in camp after a day of travelling, Skug will lean against Ghastly to read a book or put his head on Ghastly's leg while they chat. They can have a silent conversation just by reading each other's faces. They'll nudge each other when something reminds them of an in-joke. They have that easy intimacy that comes with having known each other forever.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

As boys, Ghastly has a particular flowery meadow he likes to take Skug to for picnics, because he's a romantic. Skug at that age is considerably less so, and more interested in whether they can screw there without getting caught.

In the modern day, they go to see old movies. Ghastly was very into the early films of the late 1910s and the 1920s, after the war finished. He associates them with a time where he finally got to just set up his shop and live the life he always wanted to live. Skug hasn't seen most of Ghastly's favourites, because he spent that period of history fighting the truce and then spiralling into a black hole of trauma and misery, but he got very into the noir detective era to the point that he's still clinging to the aesthetic like 80 years later, so they'll alternate who picks the movies and catch each other up on their favourites.

who’s more protective

They've both spent their fair share of time fretting in the chair beside a hospital bed. After Ravel's betrayal, though, it's Skug. Ghastly retires as soon as he's considered fit to make the decision, and decides he wants to go back to Dublin to reopen his shop and just sort of try and forget Roarhaven exists. And Skug is absolutely adamant that he gets to do it. There's a lot of interest in Ghastly for a while - groundbreaking healing magic was used to fix what should've been a permanent injury, people want to know if he suspected Ravel, they want his advice on how to rebuild after Devastation Day. He's more approachable than China, and a lot more popular. But he can't cope with it all, and anyone who tries to hassle him in Dublin will have Skug to deal with.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

The first night Skug stays at Ghastly's family home. Ghastly is an only child, and his family isn't wealthy - their house doesn't have a guest room. It's sleep with Ghastly or sleep on the floor, and Little Lord Priss isn't going to be sleeping on the floor.

Honestly, he's relieved there isn't a spare room for him. He's never really slept alone before. Like most children of very wealthy families back then, he grew up in a nursery with his four oldest brothers and sisters, and when he was too old to live with The Children, he shared a room, first with Carver and then with Francis. The thought of being on his own in a strange house is pretty intimidating.

He moves to his own bed as soon as they get him one, but he stays in Ghastly's room, and he's perfectly happy with that.

(Ghastly is less happy. He's very much crushing on Skug and he's terrified he'll say something incriminating in his sleep.)

who steals whose clothes and how often

Skug gets to steal Ghastly's clothes for a year or two after he moves in with Ghastly's family. After that, they're built too differently. Ghastly is built like a brick shithouse of muscle. Skug is lean and toned and tall. When they're younger, he can more or less wear Ghastly's clothes as a nightshirt, but after Skug's final growth spurt, Ghastly's clothes don't sit right on him at all, and he's gotten too vain and fashion-conscious by that point to just wear them anyway.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Ghastly is fussy about his tea. Plenty of milk, two and a half sugars, leave the teabag in.

Skug just inhales it black, which Ghastly thinks is an abomination.

if they ever have any children together

Ghastly thanks his lucky stars every day that they have a 0% chance of accidentally spawning a skuglet. One of him is plenty.

He's very involved with Skugbab when he comes along, though. He's godfather and a very present uncle.

if they have any special pet names for each other

Skug doesn't do nicknames, and would rather not be given them, either. Ghastly gets away with "Skul", primarily because he's the only one who's known Skug since he was all of 16, but also because "Skulduggery" is a mouthful when all your blood is rushing to your downstairs brain and it's his own damn fault that he didn't think of that before he picked it.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

So many times. They're on and off again more frequently than Saracen's clothes. Every time Skug spots someone new, he ends it with Ghastly to pursue them, and then comes back when he loses interest or it doesn't work out.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Ghastly's family home is an old farmhouse on the outskirts of Dublin. It's simple, but cosy, and Ghastly's dad is incredibly houseproud, so it's very well-looked-after. Skug prefers it by miles to his own palacial, but cold and unwelcoming, family home, and he tries to replicate the vibe later on with Wifey. It's pretty small compared to what he's used to, so it sort of feels like they're all living on top of each other, and he has to get used to not having any servants and drawing his own water to heat his own bath etc, but he's loved there, and that makes all the difference.

what their names are in each other’s phones

They're both old-ass men about some things, and this is one of them. So no emojis or anything - they're "Ghastly Bespoke" and "Skul". How romantic.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Ghastly wakes up first: he's used to rising early to get started on his chores. Skug is absolutely not a morning person at this point in his life and Ghastly frequently has to turf his ass out of bed by pulling his quilt off/dumping water on him/yelling in his ear.

Reversed with modern day ghasdug: Ghastly still wakes at a sensible time, but damn it he left the army a century ago and now he likes a lie in. Skug never really stopped being a soldier and still has most of his military habits, so he's up with the sun.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Ghastly is the big spoon. Skug likes to be Held.

who hogs the bathroom

Skug. The boy is vain as all fuck. There is a grand total of one cloudy looking-glass in Ghastly's family's home and Skug spends a good chunk of the morning hogging it to fuss with his hair and peacock at his reflection. Ghastly is under strict orders Never to mention this to Fletcher.

[valatheapprentice]

Echoes of the Past

Brought to us by @arcana-echoes

Vala Quintus

Hometown

Vala was born as Princess Alexandra Cirillo in the kingdom of Sparta. She wasn't allowed to go out into the kingdom. The few times her hand maiden would allow her to sneak out, shed find herself in a rowdier part. Despite being loud and reckless, they seemed to be very mindful and playful with her. She ran away at 6 and came to Vesuvia, where she was adopted and lived a fairly normal childhood in a nice neighborhood

Parents (mentions abuse)

Her birth parents were very cordial at best. They were very patriotic, proud and loving of their kingdom. When their son, valas older brother, was born, they loved him about as much. Years go by and they make a deal with the devil. Im exchange of their children's magic, he would be sure sparta lived on forever and that their children would go down in history. Since their son had no magick and an only child then, they agreed. A few years go by and they give birth to vala. While they loved her at first. That changed the moment she displayed magical abilities. With fear of the devil and magick being outlawed and detested , they would lock her in a cellar and place shackles on her to prevent her using said magic. By age three, Centaurs had threatened the kingdom. In exchange for being left alone, her parents agreed to let her be taken from time to time to entertain them, beating and r*ping her when they had gotten drunk. At this point they had seen her as more of an object and annoyance. When she ran away, war broke out and they died in that war.

Her adoptive parents were a lot different. They found her on the beach and took her in, despite originally not wanting kids. With nightmares and being former royalty (now kept secret) came behavior issues they had to help her overcome. They were extremely patient but stern. They gave her a fun and warm home and she lived 9 years as a fairly normal and happy child until her mother died when she was 15. She learned to cook and got her sense of humor from them. They signed her up for belly dance lessons, which she uses along woth her root work. Which they encouraged her into practicing.

Magick

She first showed signs of magick at age 2, but didn't really know it. As she got older she realized she could do things but was quickly punished for doing them. Once she was able to harness her power, she realized she was strongest with fire and chaos magick. She found some travelers and learned root work and conjuring from them. Which she continued researching and practicing after they left. She also has a strong connections to spirits and works/talks to them often

Education

She was heavily tutored as a princess, forced to learn Italian, and law despite being told she could never amount to anything due to her duties. In Vesuvia, she attended a public school until she dropped out at 15. Due to her love of dance and her Magick type, choir and science were her favorite subjects

The "aunt"

In her teens, she had been in trouble with the law frequently. Once she got back on her feet, she found qnd abandoned home and more or less squatted in it. She fixed it up with asras and her dads help and turned it into her shop "Magick and Mayhem". As soon as they started getting business, she was able to pay rent for it. The police she dealt with before let her slide of some formalities so they can keep seeing her stay out of trouble

Friends

In Sparta, her only friend was her handmaidens son, whom she rarely played with. In vesuvia, she had a habit of befriending colorful characters. One she was close to before she dropped out happened to be the daughter of a crime boss, Stella (another oc and LI for valerius)

Occupation (mentions substance abuse)

She dropped out of school after becoming dependent on drugs and entering an abusive relationship with her dealer. Despite helping forgive his debt in unsavory ways, she learned /some/ business skills through selling for him after a few years, such as negotiations.

Familiar

Her familiar is a possum named Arthur. She found him in a box labeled "free kitty" and couldn't resist. They are able to communicate and heal eachother. Hes able to sense peoples energy and his reactions can be seen as a warning for her. Together, they can manipulate the energy in anyone and anything. Its just a matter of if the want to or should

First loves (mentions abuse)

She had one love before meeting asra. Pete Uchiha (street name Ocho) was her dealer turned boyfriend when she was 15. Despite the good times she clung to and being too young to know better, he mentally, physically, and sexually abused her and forced her into dealing for him and attacking people who owed him. After 2 years of his paranoia and control. She met asra when he was homeless and a thief. They quickly went from being friends to facing an affair.

Cuisines

Growing up with her new family, her dad absolutely loves making chili and spicy beer chicken. While she could eat those everyday, she and her mom loved anything involving shrimp and gyros.

Defining moment (mentions substance abuse, attempted suicide, and crimes)

While she was considerate of others and wanted to be nice to everyone, she had little foresight, no impulse control, and often just thought of herself. The moment that really made her change her life was when she was 19. She had discovered she she could make any surface become soft and safe to land on. So she, Pete, and mutual friends would go onto a roof top, get high And basically fall into a dumpster. This went on for years until one day, her friend jumped and missed the spot, killing him. Once she realized what happened she was grief and guilt stricken and tried to overdose. Luckily, she was found and taken to the hospital where she started to detox. Later on she was arrested for manslaughter but was released on probation. That was the moment she realized she couldn't live like that. Pete was put on jail, she broke things off, and swore to never get high again and makeup for every wrong shes everyone, or try, since she finds herself responsible for the war as well. Still is and always will be, impulsive though

Holidays

She is a pagan, worshipping the Greeks gods (patron is Hermes, arcana is judgement). She follows the basic pagan holiday wheel. She will give either food drink or dance offerings and meditate to give her thanks to them and the spirits

Aftermath

After she had died, outside of asra, her father was completely grief stricken. Customers and neighbors felt sorry for their loss, a few even missing her and her energetic and kind energy. When asra brought her back, everyone knew something messed up happened and looked at them like outcasts. She has absolutely no memory and has to relearn how to talk, so this confused and disheartened her greatly. When asra told her dad, they got into a huge fight, her dad angry for putting more turmoil in their lives. So far (in my stories at least) he can't bare to face her, knowing she doesn't remember him yet/anymore

In another life

If she hadn't have left sparta. She would have died. Lets be real.

Given how she got the plague (kissing lucio, in a story ill post), it could have been avoided but then asra wouldn't have needed to be at the palace in her place and who knows what would have happened if lucio got his way in the ritual. Even ignoring that, when shed face asra again, it wouldn't have worked out. At least nothing would be easily forgiven. She'd probably be a numb and tired person after

If she had left with him, I think she'd feel guilt for leaving. Like itd be a happier life, being safe with asra in a new place, but I see her being more depressed and submissive. She just agreed to leave her home and father to rot in her mind.

Freebie

So, and I didnt know why until my husband helped me figure it out, but I always imagined her and julian getting married before having kids and her and lucio getting pregnant before getting married. Im one for diving deep into the psychology of my and other characters. While she and julian are no where near innocent and all, they tend to have a more wholesome relationship. She is very headstrong and a switch. Julian is in my mind a switch but is more submissive in personality. Lucio is just as headstrong as well as temperamental. So they but heads a lot and can be seen as a very emotionally charged couple. She does believe love is an action more so than a feeling, thanks to her adoptive mom and dad, and not many people put up with his shit out of love, so they do put the effort onto each other. So the more traditional route, in my mind I guess is better fit for julian and the chaotic route fits lucio better. (Idk I love doing deep dives into this kind of thing. Like ill spend hours talking to my super smart husband or researching to find the correct mindsets)

[azems-familiar]

me procrastinating writing kotor fic by writing swtor fic? no, never anyway here’s an excerpt

The cool, recycled air of Imperial Intelligence headquarters hisses over Averr’iis’aloh’s face, stirs her cyan hair from where it curls over her forehead and around her neck, and she makes a halfhearted effort to tuck it back behind her ears. She’s tired.

Not a new occurrence, exactly, but she’s hardly been out of the office in the last week, too busy coordinating an operation on Corellia; with the war ramping up again, Corellia’s shipyards are a high-priority objective, and whichever side controls Corellia will more than likely control the war, at least until Balmorra becomes a warzone again. Riisa intends to ensure the Republic, not the Empire, walks away with Corellia.

It’s both easier and harder to manipulate events as Keeper. She has access to the entire Imperial Intelligence archives, has the ear - or montral, as it were - of Empress Nox, commands every Watcher and Fixer and Cipher, knows exactly what the powerful, prominent Sith Lords are up to - all information the Republic desperately needs, information that’s benefited them, when she’s given it to them. But in order to actually affect things out in the field, well. That requires a level of manipulation she hates herself for.

But it’s necessary. She’s been a double agent for nearly eight years; she may have nearly forgotten her own self in all of the lies, but she won���t forget her duty or her loyalty.

(It’s times like these where she very nearly regrets her decision to split her team up and send them away, to keep them safe. She misses all of them, but especially Vector; Vector, with his poetry and his quiet, warm smiles and his gentle, comforting touch. He’s always known how to help her remember who she truly is, to remind her who Riisa is, not Legate or Cipher Nine or Keeper.

But that’s why she had to send him away. Riisa hasn’t been naive enough to believe she’ll survive the Empire in years, and she doesn’t want the rest of her team, her husband, to be pulled down with her, when she finally falls. And she will fall, there’s no doubt about that - there’s no leaving Imperial Intelligence. Agents don’t retire; it’s either death or Shadow Town and a bomb in her skull, and she refuses to be the latter.)

She’s supposed to have a briefing with Ardun Kothe today, and she’s already picked out what she can afford to send him - to keep her tracks covered, she rarely gives him information on Intelligence operations themselves, instead passes along troop movements and weaknesses the Republic can exploit and Sith politics (the SIS had known of Nox’s ascension before most of the Empire had, even), intelligence on top-secret weapons projects and the Sith research. (She keeps a particularly close eye on the Sphere of Biotic Science - the Darths and sometimes even the Lords under that particular sphere tend to gravitate towards sentient experimentation, and she makes sure the Republic has the ability to shut them down whenever they start up again.) It’s an exhausting dance, but one they both understand the necessity of, and it’s kept her alive and reporting for years past the time they’d expected, once she’d become Keeper.

One of the perks of the position is access to surveillance systems across the entire planet, including her own office (not all of them are ones she’s supposed to be able to access, but how else is she supposed to keep an eye on the Sith?). The bugs and cameras in her office have been transmitting white noise and static and surveillance-blocking signals for years, and no one has managed to slice under them to see the years of highly treasons transmissions she’s beamed out from this very holotable.

Riisa sighs, straightens her hair and her uniform, and uploads her encryption to the terminal, swaps over to the private frequency the SIS contacts her on, and waits; it’s only a few moments before there’s a chirp and Ardun’s holo springs to life.

“Legate,” he says, smiling at her. He looks older than he ever has, looks tired - she’s sure the long years of war and subterfuge have worn her down as much as they have him, these few times she allows herself to look like anyone other than Keeper. “It’s good to hear from you - I was concerned when you missed your last check in.”

“I know,” Riisa says, finds herself smiling a little even as she sighs, because that concern - it’s real, unlike any of the emotions she sees from her subordinates, unlike the way most Sith hardly even acknowledge her existence beyond what she can do for them. Ardun is the only person she speaks to regularly who asks about her and cares about the honest answer. (Vector does, of course, but they only speak over pre-recorded holos sent back and forth every few months.) “I’ve been busy with Shipwreck,” the code name she’d given her Corellia operation, “and I didn’t have time to reach out until today. I needed to keep the line free for my agents.”

Ardun nods. “How’d it go?” he asks, and she grimaces.

“Flawlessly,” she admits. “Too flawlessly, in fact - I’m concerned enough I’m including a report of it in today’s package. The Cipher I assigned to it is nearly as good as I used to be.” She’d been hoping she could turn him to the Republic, but he’s as committed to the Empire as she used to be to Csilla’s secret police, fifteen years and a lifetime ago.

Ardun has been her handler for nine years - in some ways, he knows her better than even Vector does. From the look that flashes across his face, she knows he understands just how concerned she is, to be including an Intelligence briefing in her report. It’s a dangerous move, but- Shipwreck went off too well, and Riisa can’t, won’t let the Republic lose Corellia. If that means she has to engineer something dramatic enough the Alliance will intervene, with what’s left of the Eternal Fleet, she’ll do what she must. 

“I’ll take a look as soon as the transmission decrypts,” he promises, and it’s a relief. “In the meantime, is there anything else I should know?”

Most of what she’s got for him this month is included in the package, but there are a few things he could stand to know, things that wouldn’t expose her if she mentioned them, and she’s opening her mouth to do so when there’s a click and a hiss and the door to her office slides open. 

It was locked. She knows she locked it before she took Ardun’s comm, she’s not that careless, she’s been hiding her true affiliation for eight years-

Cipher Two stands in the door, dark skin and short dark hair and neatly pressed uniform, and he has a blaster out and aimed at her, his hand perfectly steady. Sithspit.

“Cipher Two,” she says, calm, facade sliding back over her face on instinct, and Ardun tenses on the holo, eyebrow raising in a question she doesn’t dare attempt to answer. Cipher Two is her best, is the one she had on Shipwreck - she hadn’t even known he was back from Corellia. “I wasn’t aware you were on Dromund Kaas.”

Cipher Two doesn’t react, doesn’t show any emotion besides the slightest flicker in his eyes. “I didn’t want you to be,” he says simply. “I’ve been putting the pieces together for months; this was just the confirmation. I really didn’t want to believe that you of all people would betray the Empire, Keeper, but here you are on call with a Jedi.”

He’s too good. If he’s been building this case up for long enough - he won’t have confronted her without a plan, which means all she can do is draw this out as long as possible before she has to fight, give Ardun time to analyze the situation. She doesn’t really believe there’ll be an extraction; she’s on Dromund Kaas, after all, and by the time the Republic can scramble something, she’ll have been captured.

She’s been planning a contingency for this moment for a long time, but she’d hoped, a little selfishly, that she’d never have to use it. She’d even hoped, just a little, that maybe she’d be able to be free of the Empire some day after all, that maybe one day she’d relearn how to respond to her name.

Childish hopes.

[kentokunn]

uncried tears; tōru oikawa

[ tw. mentions of fatal injuries, mentions of self pity, emotional distress, mentions of hospitals, scars, angst with comfort ]

Oikawa liked with his head buried in your neck, his body tucked against your back. His arms were secured around your waist as he lied with his eyes closed, but not yet asleep. He never fell asleep before you to ensure your safety and comfort before he went to sleep himself.

This night was strange, however. Oikawa had shown up at your house after a doctor's appointment, a simple checkup after his knee injury three months ago. The doctor just wanted to assure that it was healing properly and no more damage was sustained, but with the way Oikawa took care of himself- wearing his brace at all times of the day, even during his sleep -you knew that the doctors would assure that his knee would return to full strength shortly. He was more cautious now, however.

That’s what was keeping you from falling asleep right now. Not that he was cautious, but the injury itself. It seemed to fall too close to home for you, and Oikawa could tell by the small sigh that you hadn’t noticed escaped you that something was wrong.

He frowned, his eyes remaining close, as he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder. “What are you thinking about, princess?” he asked tenderly, his hands shifting so that they laid flat against your stomach. He effortlessly pulled you closer so that not even a slip of paper could slip between you.

“Are you scared?” you asked timidly, it was just a whisper- if even that -but the question held some weight atop its metaphorical shoulders. “I mean, are you scared to hurt yourself again?” You turned your head to peek over your shoulder and examine your boyfriend who was just beginning to blink his eyes open.

He looked at you, allowing you to turn around in his arms so that he could gaze into your gentle eyes as he answered. “Well, of course I’m scared, but I’d never let that stop me from playing. Volleyball is my passion, and I don’t intend to let any injury stop me from playing, not while I’m in my prime,” he replied confidently. He paused for a moment, assessing you before he raised a hand to gently place against your cheek and stroke it softly. “I suspect you’re asking me this from experience-” damn his ability to read people so well “-so what is it you’re hiding from me?”

It was Oikawa’s turn to ask you a question, and although it was one that he feared would hold deep regrets, he was gentle when asking. He took into consideration your tenderness and compassion and made sure not to tarnish your trust with any tone other than pure love, and even concern. He treated no one else like this, and that’s why this side, that he only showed you, was so special. It could coax out any secrets that you kept hidden away in which you wanted to share but didn’t know how.

With a deep breath, and a pause in which you closed your eyes and built up the courage to speak, you nodded. It was more to assure yourself than anything else, and it worked, for you answered his question in the next second. “When I was in junior high, before we met, I played basketball. During my second year of playing, I injured my right ankle- a fractured growth plate -which successfully ended my season,” you explained, taking a moment to continue. “I joined the same tear the next year, and again, I injured myself, but...”

You closed your eyes, so tightly you were seeing white. You opened them again, biting your lip as you did your best to hold back tears. Oikawa said nothing but gently rub his hand along your waist for support. He was always going to be there for you, and he didn’t need to express that with words. Now was not his turn to speak, it was yours.

“But I ended up in the hospital for weeks. I got in an accident, not caused by the sport itself, but I broke four bones- five if you count my nose -gained a concussion, and a few scars. Again, my season ended, and I had to relearn somethings. I needed help with walking, sitting, turning, and school was out of the question,” you explained, glancing up to look into his brown eyes. The emotions in his eyes were unable to read in the darkness of the night, so you went on. “That was three years ago, my last year of junior high, and I have yet to play a sport since,” you swallowed the lump in your throat, but that did not stop the tears that brimmed your eyelids.

“I regret giving up, Tōru,” you choked, a tear slipping from your eye and rolling down your cheek. “The injury left no long term effects on me, except for a few scars, but I feel like I’ve let the fear of another injury like that control all my decisions. I stopped playing basketball and I gave up,” you cried, burying yourself in Oikawa’s chest, your tears seeping through his nightshirt.

Oikawa presses a kiss to the top of your head, a hand cradling your head as there other rubbed your back. His face was adorned with the look of absolute pity, similar to the one that stated back at you in the mirror some nights. “Have you told anybody else how you feel?” he asked. He was answered with a shake of your head and a choked sob.

He knew this was not only about the injury itself, but rather the weight of it. You allowed it to go so far as to force yourself to make decisions you didn’t want it to. You were afraid, not of the sports you wanted to play again, but rather the injury you could sustain. It is never a definite, and deep down you know that, but you also know that there is a chance- even if it was slim -that an injury could occur. You did not want it to be worse than the one you had already received.

When you lied on that hospital bed after waking up the following day from the accident, you were unable to move your right leg. You feared it was paralyzed, and you did not want to chance the probability of that coming true.

“I have a proposal,” Oikawa declared once the sobs had turned to mere sniffles, and your shaking had stopped. He continued when you raised your gaze to look at him curiously. “We can start slow and get you back on a court. Not basketball necessarily, but perhaps volleyball. I’ll teach you a few things, just you and me, and once your comfortable I’ll call up the team and we’ll have a practice match. For that one game, you’ll be the team’s captain, how does that sound?” He was asking with a gaze of determination. He was determined to help you overcome the fear, and he’d start at a slow pace first.

You took a moment to consider the offer. It wasn’t that you were against it, but the reality that he was so willing to help you made you not only happy but even tearful. Oikawa took notice.

“Look, Y/N, I know what it’s like. After my knee injury, I was benched and forced to watch my team play for two weeks before I got the clear to go back on the court. I wanted to cry so many times out of frustration, but I didn’t, and I suspect you didn’t either, but for a different reason. I didn’t cry because I knew I’d go on to fight until I was on my last leg, but you, princess, didn’t cry because you didn’t have a shoulder to do it on,” he concluded.

He was absolutely right.

[godkilller]

@oboete-iru​

Speaking of training... How does Gin's relationship with his zanpakuto change after the Winter War? Since he's lost his dominant/sword-wielding hand, does he have to do a lot of training now within his inner world to rebuild his bond with Shinso? Or is the majority of his training now done outside of Seireitei with (or without) Rangiku?

          out of character.  Losing one’s dominant hand is rough, but not the end of the world when it comes to sword-wielding —— at least, that could be said for individuals who use the standard two-handed katana. Gin’s zanpakuto takes the form of a wakizashi, which is not two-handed, so it’s safe to say there isn’t equal points of mastery in him wielding it with either hand; ambidextrous or left-handed swordsmen are not common, though at times media can portray this as some kind of advantage in terms of angles, strikes, and forcing one’s opponent to readjust which can lead them to making mistakes mid-fight. BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS GIN’S NOT AMBIDEXTRIOUS, SO HE HAS TO RELEARN HIS ABILITIES WITH SHINSO AFTER THE WINTER WAR. Shinso is not an easy zanpakuto to master, especially since the blade entirely focuses on accurate and steady aim, Gin initially struggles VERY MUCH with using the blade left-handed. Kamishini No Yari is not forgiving, if Gin’s off by a centimeter, that error turns into a massive one a few kilometers down the line, and he’ll cut through a city instead of an open field, for example.

          Finer motor functions can be significantly different in terms of control when one switches away from their dominant hand. Things like writing, and other more detailed motions can be incredibly different in quality, and the fine-tuned aim involved with Gin’s Bankai calls for absolute confidence and control in one’s grip and aim.

          In canon, it’s shown that Gin’s various stances when shooting / aiming his zanpakuto involve him, in some way, lining his right hand up with his left arm as a way of stabilizing or leveling out his aim before firing. SO HE’S KIND OF LOST THAT METHOD. He must find a different way.

          Gin has to focus on both aspects of training to make up for this massive step backward. Psychologically, the entirety of Shinso’s purpose, strengths, and function have been scrapped and negated, so tackling his zanpakuto within his inner world is much needed to boost their mutually distraught morale. Shinso, the spirit, believes they failed due to its poison not being strong enough to take down Aizen regardless of the Hogyoku’s interference.

          Meanwhile, Gin’s grappling with a loss of purpose / motivation, as well as the fact that he’s about ninety-nine percent certain he should have just died. THEY HAVE A LOT THEY NEED TO TALK ABOUT, especially since now Rangiku’s demanding answers, and the only other person besides Gin who knows what she’s asking about is, funnily enough, literally part of Gin: Shinso  — because when he wants a secret kept, it’s kept.

          There’s so much to talk about, they’ll sit in silence instead. There’s just too much, there’s too damn much. What they’ve done... how, why, what now... it’s a lot. Their relationship is understandably put under an immense strain; not necessarily that Gin blames Shinso, but the thought does drift into existence here and there... what if he HAD been strong enough to bypass the Hogyoku, too? Why couldn’t he have been? Maybe he should have taken up Hollowification, too, just to be certain that it’d kill Aizen when he plunged into his heart. GIN’S QUIET DOUBTS ARE A SUREFIRE WAY FOR BOTH HIM AND SHINSO TO BE A LITTLE DERAILED IN TERMS OF FOCUS.

          This makes training with Rangiku even harder, because there’s now a very potent turmoil thrown into the mix. But it also makes training alone difficult, too, because Gin would rather die than stand alone with his thoughts on the matter, sulking in his and Shinso’s shared defeat. IT’S A DREARY TIME, THOSE FIRST FEW TIMES HE GETS PERMISSION TO TRAIN WITH HIS SWORD AGAIN. It’s not lost on Gin at all; the last time he held Shinso, he was driving it through Aizen’s chest. There’s some measure of trauma, regardless of how composed he tries to act, and how much the universe of Bleach itself tries to pretend things don’t impact characters the way they should. Yeah, Gin’s going to need to do a lot of work to rebuild himself physically, mentally, and emotionally to get back to how he was. Mastering his powers again seems like a decent chunk of a step, and in some conflicting ways it also helps him cope to shoot at some empty sake bottles while Rangiku does the honors of draining them.

          Gin’ll become frustrated if he misses too many times, though. And, unfortunately, inevitably, he will miss. The ex-traitor needs to strike upon a goldmine of newfound motivation, strength, and determination before he ever even considers himself ready to take that haori back again.

[moonlightstars16]

Chapter 12 ~ A Fresh Start

AN: HELLO! I am back! And I have more news! Since my job is starting back up again, these chapters will be less and less frequent. I apologize but so much as happened while I was away that I barely had time to even look at this book. I even lost a bit of inspiration. However I do plan on finish it no worries there. I promise as soon as I am done with the thirty day challenge on my 'Connverse One-Shot' book this will get my full attention. So my schedule I have posted on my instagram @etherealmaiden but I'll restate it here. I'll be updating 'Shattered Blood' twice a month. Still on Tuesday's but not every week. Thank you once again for reading and I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Connie, Greg and Amethyst sat around the fountain outside the zoo. Amethyst told her about other amethysts (whom she called famithyst's) helping out in the human zoo as more of a counselor. They snuck this in when the human zoo was put on the back burner in Steven's mind. Then explained that the Zoomans needed to relearn most human cultures. They were from all over the globe and though their heritage was strong, all of them lost sight of it when they were broken in here.

Connie held back tears in sadness. They lost apart of who they are. Not to mention more when they realized that Earth will be no more. It was a lot for even Connie to take in. She couldn't begin to fathom what they will think. Still they had a right to know. Even if their choice was to pretend that part of them never existed. Free will wasn't created for nothing.

"So we just have to teach them... like a school!" Connie beamed, getting an idea.

"But Connie, it's going to take much more than that. I mean I barely passed high school at my age. I can't teach them all at once. Besides we are also talking about different cultures here."

"I know and believe me I don't know a lot however we can get them started. Once others from their own heritage come to help out, then they can take over. They only need to help push them in the right direction. And Steven has an entire library to use! It's beyond filled with all different kinds of culture. Just enough for a fresh start."

"Well I have notes about where they came from over the years...before they were brainwashed..." Greg spoke sadly. Pulling out an old record book he kept with him in his coat pocket.

"Connie, you're just one person. You can't teach them all with what maybe little time." Connie sighed. They had less than one year until the project was complete...and when the earth will be no more. She did have a point.

"Amethyst" she began thinking out loud. "You said you have a lot of...famithyst right? Well I know you mentioned they liked to party, but what of they helped?"

"Um, they're gems not humans with knowledge like you two have."

"Amethyst at one point you had some of that knowledge too. Look we just need to teach a few groups different things to help get started."

"So we teach the Amethyst to teach the others while we teach the zoomans as well?"

"Yes, along with what we have in the library, we can help them get far." Connie sighed and stood up to face them. "We don't need to make them scholars here. We just need to help them find their identity again. It's not just all about numbers, words and facts. It's who they came from. Who they choose to be. Giving them the chance to regain apart of themselves they lost long ago." An image of Steven's gem half and human half connecting with her flashed in her mind. Thankfully Greg's words took her out of her thoughts.

"So it's more about history right?" They all laughed upon hearing that remark. "Connie I think we have something but even with that help, that's a lot of gems to only you, me an Amethyst. Will that be enough?" Connie looked down and started pacing back and forth. Even between them, they had a long way to go. Suddenly she stopped and a mischievous smile appeared.

"Only us, yes almost impossible... but I think I know at least three more gems who can help."

"Oh no! Not me!" Lapis spoke flying to put more books away. "Look I think the idea is good but I don't know if I can."

"Well I think it's awesome! I can finally do more with my skills than just organizing a library and coming up with 'useless' projects here and there that serve no functional purpose what-so-ever!" Peridot exclaimed excitedly fast. Smiling brightly while jumping up and down excitedly.

"I agree, it's about time we put all this knowledge for good use." Bismuth exclaimed putting a stack of books down on the table. "Besides we pretty much organized the entire library. Having a better organizing system too when it get's messed up again."

"I'm sorry Bismuth but did you just say 'when'?" Peridot said while standing still, fear in her eyes.

"It's inevitable, but we can get it back to normal again soon." Bismuth patted Peridot on the back as she nodded then gulped. Trying not to remember the time a huge pile of books trapped her underneath. Thankfully Connie heard the crash and came to help. Still it shook the poor green gem to the core.

"Thank you, we need all the help we can get." Looking up they all pulled puppy dog eyes at Lapis. She folded her arms upon seeing them, then rolled her eyes with a sigh of defeat.

"Okay fine! But I'm not going to show any mercy! Those Amethysts will listen to my words, learn and like it!" Connie smiled and put her hands over her heart, laughing at the weird bunch she gathered between the six of them. Well seven if Pearl wasn't so busy helping out being second-in-command. But that will be brought up for a later time.

After getting a schedule organized (and Connie making her own personal schedule), the gem trio went to prepare for tomorrows meeting to get everything organized. Sighing after it was all finished and decided to hang back and relax. In some sort of twisted way, she was glad to be there to help them. Finally feeling like she could do some good instead of prepping for the nightmare and transition that is to come.

Thirty minutes went by as Connie laid against the library bay window. Feeling dusk's rays going down as her thoughts wandered in her book. Suddenly, a gut gave her the sensation that she wasn't alone. Pausing her story she slowly tilted her head back up.

"Why, this is a fitting site for you." A voice spoke up as Connie turned her head. Sliding her legs off and letting her feet touch the floor. Steven stood there, hands behind his back, stepping out from within the shadows. The suns light hit his mask at an angle, where the shadow made it look like his entire face was covered and not just half. Still she was unnerved by his presence, already used to it by now.

"Relaxing, before the next meeting tomorrow night."

"To which meeting are you referring too?" An inquisitive yet knowing tone in his voice. Connie closing her eyes in realization. Not like it was a big secret anyways, but still.

"How long?"

"Nothing in this castle get's passed by me."

"How very discreet of you." It was obvious she wasn't fond of speaking with him much.

"It would appear we have some...matters to discuss..." His calm demeanor prominent as he also was tired of this. Connie looked up and contemplated on what to do next. One one hand what he had done to her was such a violation! Not to mention all the horrible things he had done before that.

But on the other hand, there was so much more she didn't understand Why was he doing all this Zooman rehabilitation project? Who was he before to have gems like Pearl stand by him? So fighting and avoiding the issue wasn't going to help. It was time to face the facts.

"It would appear that we do." Her voice was much softer than before.

The library fireplace lit as the flames danced, cracked sounds from the embers came from within. Other than that it was silent. The peaceful calmness of it all was nice, even in their own thoughts everything seemed frozen in time. she then sighed and bit her inner cheek before speaking.

"Why?"

"Pardon?" Steven spoke, an eyebrow raised in confusion as he stood up straighter. Connie breathed in deeply, trying to control her own emotions. Putting a bookmark in a chapter, closing the book back up.

"Why? Well.... I mean it's the beginning to a lot of questions I have."

"I warned you about your curiosity, Connie." He stated firmly, folding his arms once again over his chest.

"At this point I feel like I don't have much to loose.... I already lost everything else.... It's all I have left...." Tears brimmed her eyes and she blinked them back. Looking upon him straight on. Steven's heart began to ache slightly upon hearing the meaning beneath her words. He felt that ever since she came into his life. It came and went but still... it felt foreign to him. He couldn't begin to understand why he felt so strongly that way around her.

"What's your...'why' questions?"

"I know why I'm here.... I know very well the deals we made." Steven pushed away the memory of making another deal with Spinel. 'It's not like she needs to know anyways...'

'Wrong'

'Shut up'

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you accuse me of knowing something about your...other half?... Why didn't you get rid of me after I-..." She sighed and bit her lower lip. He didn't need to hear more for that last one. Clearing his throat he decided to answer the first two honestly. Not like she had to know much, but to get back in good graces with her, he decided it was best.

'You're halfway there in that thought process.'

"I suppose it was, wrong of me to accuse you of knowing something like that." He stated ignoring the statement in his mind. "To tell you the truth, I don't know why you connected with him in the first place."

"You're referring that part of yourself in the third person. Isn't he half of you?"

"It's complicated."/'It's complicated.'

By the tone he was using, Connie decided it would be best to leave it at that since it would only confuse the matter more.

"Connie, by all means I don't know how you do it. I mean you don't have any magic let alone any gem powers. The fact you connected to that part of myself is beyond even my understanding."

"I know I'm only human, I suppose that means I'm not special at all." She stated in slight sarcasm folding her arms and looking away. More or less really leaning towards agreeing with it. It was the truth after all, no human like herself could possess any magical properties like a gem.

"That's not what I meant...not in that way. All I'm saying is that this is a mystery I cannot solve. But I shouldn't have assumed so much like that out of you." Connie turned to face him, catching his gaze in hers. Well it wasn't an apology, but it was a start. Right now, that was more than she could ask for.

"You thought by kissing me, it would magically make everything clearer for you?"

"By the closest contact I know of, apart from certain instances, it was the strongest theory to gain a better understanding. But perhaps it was too much of an assumption."

"Yeah I think it was." Connie said sarcastically in a teasing tone making them both chuckle slightly. Easing some tension off their shoulders. "Look I obviously don't know much...but maybe he's helping you reconnect with your humanity?"

"What?"

"It's only a theory Steven. Maybe because I'm the closest human to you right now?"

"I have the human zoo and my-...father, I think my humanity side is just fine."

"Well if you're sure but if I may?" she paused while he gestured for her to continue. No reason to stop now anyways. "You're human zoo, its the opposite of humanity, it's inhumane.  Yes you are trying to change that now. However it doesn't change the reality and truth of what you've done in the past. You kept trapped humans here like animals and watch them in their habitat.

You cannot connect to that which you control like you are- were doing, nor fully understand who they are if all you do is oppress them. And you're father is still tormented by his heartbreak over your mom. He can't connect with anybody until he's ready to open his heart again. Even though he still cares for you so much."

"Watch yourself, Connie" Steven warned, swallowing down the truth she put in front of him.

'Tick, tick, tick, boom! There goes the truth bomb.'

"All I'm saying Steven, is that I have made a connection with you. I can help you understand. Now that I know what you're wanting." Connie was a bit surprised herself of the offer that she made. However thinking it over, she had to make the best of her situation. Knowing that before he was once a good person, maybe we can be again.

"You," he pointed at her with his finger, them himself with his thumb against his chest "want to help me."

"I mean I'm curious about this even more now. Since I became more involved thanks to you. Besides you need me to understand why your gem half is connecting to me and bringing out the human in you, correct?" It was a puzzling thing for sure, however she did have a point. After all, the more she spent time with him, the more she would fall for him and therefore he would win the bet.

"Well, this is a day for surprises... and how, prey tell, are you going to help me reconnect with my humanity?" He teased moving in closer to her with a smirk.

"I know the perfect place. Right here in the library." She smiled watching his smirk disappear.

"Here? And what? I'll reignite my human side in a fantasy book?" He teased while laughed and she rolled her eyes.

"You know, you might find exactly that in a book."

"No"

"What?" The laughter stopped and there was a tenseness in the air. Connie looked at him in confusion. For a brief moment she thought they were going somewhere. The door was slammed hard in her face and reality was all she had. Like they were back to how it was before, herself in chains and he was the warden.

"But-if you just gave it a chance-"

"I said no!" He shouted causing Connie to wince a little. The empathic feeling waved over him but immediately he returned to his ice cold demeanor. Calming his voice down he continued. "The next meeting is in a few days." With that he began walking towards the door, leaving her shook.

"W-wait!" Steven paused with a hand on the door. Turning slightly with an eyebrow raised. Connie sighed and closed her eyes. "You forgot to answer my last question." She spoke up as he paused with the door only slightly open, eyebrow raised once more in subtle confusion. Nodding his head to let her know she had his full attention. "Why didn't you get rid of me after I slapped you and called you a horrible person?" She watched as his eyes flickered downward then back to her.

"As we've stated before we need know...and earth still needs an ambassador, right?" With that she sighed and nodded her head. Watching as he left and she soon drifted to sleep. Steven walked down the hallways in deep thought. Feeling he spoke more truth than he had originally planned.

Sitting there in silence, the crackling of the flames was the only sound in the room. Lost in her own thoughts. 'I think you will give it a chance soon enough...' There was a small flicker of hope in his eyes concealed by fear. A fear of rediscovery on the inside and change. At least what she had gathered from him in this moment.

For the first time in a long time she felt it too.

Hope

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Project 'Zooman Rehabilitation' was underway. Between the six(seven at times) of them, they had starting researching and dividing the work among them. Strategizing, organizing and many preparations were created and worked upon. Two weeks later they had set their plans in motion. While the zoomans were at first confused, they went along with it. Having no 'voice' to listen and follow to anymore.

Connie had to look away for a moment. Unable to face the truth of how much free will they gave up. All the brainwashing's affects it add. It wasn't all pleasant on that side of the wall. Countless nights she heard screams coming in from the place. Screams of terror which were unprovoked from her understanding.

The voices crying out in pain from their past they couldn't hide from. Now most did live here all there lives. But it was as if a memory chip was implanted in their brains and flashes of past lives were plaguing their dreams. As if something inside them knew this was all wrong and they wanted to break free.

That's why this project was so important. They needed to regain their right to choose what they want to do. Have a place to belong too. Find their own individuality and spirit. But first to gain the knowledge lost so long ago. It wasn't like they were heroes, just people who want to help them out. A friend helping out each other. That's what she liked to see them as. Friends.

They had a few bumps along the road with some rebelling against the idea. Some just flat out decided not to care. Leaving a few impatient gems to loose control of their anger. However, this was a chance for something new. A change. Through all the struggles they kept pushing forward the best they could.

It was all Connie could think about day in and out. It felt good to finally do something worth while than just sit around and wait for the next gem meeting. Even during those times, she would forget to take notes on the whole 'cluster' project. Instead would write out her next lesson plan. Leaving Pearl to copy her own notes down for her.

This didn't go unnoticed by the royal hybrid. In fact her behavior was becoming more and more of a problem to him. Not intending her to become more involved with the human zoo ever. He would have to talk to Greg about that later. Standing up from his master chair, he walked towards the library with stride. Hearing the sounds of laughter echoing down the halls as he moved closer and closer.

"They are learning so fast! I can't believe it! My calculations were...wro-...wr-..."

"Wrong?" Lapis asked as Peridot stumbled on that word.

"Misguided!"

Another wave of laughter hit them all. Connie's voice more recognizable than the rest to Steven. Adding that to the list of things he didn't understand about her. Blinking he shook his head and bursted through the doors. A loud crack of lightning from the rain resounded itself throughout the room. His arms folded across as they all looked up in tense shock.

"Everyone is dismissed. Leave now."

Without hesitation they shuffled away out the door, some with looks of annoyance, others just upset. Connie began to take her leave with a clear look of dissatisfaction on her face.

"Not you" Connie froze and closed her eyes as he looked her over. Raising a hand, bending is fingers to beckon her towards a couple of chairs near the fireplace. "We need to talk."

Ten minutes passed in silence as they looked into the flames before them. The silence grew more and more as they sat uncomfortably so. Well at least for Connie, other than growing annoyed. Steven has his elbows on his knees and head resting on top of his linked hands. Lost in deep thought as he was trying to not get angry or upset with her.

"Look if you don't have anything to say then-"

"I hope this project won't take you away from why you're here." Finally speaking up as he looked up at her and she sat back down in a huff.

"What do you mean?"

"Your job is to record for when we arrive back on Earth and give them the report. That not only includes the cluster project but how we intent to relocate the entire human race. Or have you fallen back on our deal?"

"Of course not! I have kept my word on the matter!"

"How so?! Every important meeting we have you hardly pay any attention! Pearl has been gracious enough to keep yourself up to date. However you must do the job you are here to do."

"What does it matter to you?! I can do both! I know I wasn't meant to help rehabilitate the humans you have locked up. I know where my duties are "supposed" to lie here. But I also know I can do much more than just create reports here." A tense silence fell over them once more. Both standing on there feet with himself towering over her. Eyes locked as if targeting something inside.

"Perhaps so...." He inhaled deeply, calming himself though still not entirely convinced. She had a firm ground against him and held it well. It was admirable in his eyes to say the least. "I told you before you are Earth's ambassador after all. However you are also a temporary member of my court. You aren't qualified for anything like this simple project."

Connie fought back the urge to smack him in the face again. For one, doubting her abilities and two, because this was her chance to prove him wrong. To help him take a step towards finding his humanity again. With a smirk she laughed slightly shaking her head. This was going to be her biggest challenge yet. But he wanted it too, according to her gut instinct.

"On the contrary, I think it falls exactly in those qualifications. Well those who will trust you without complaint would sure love to know about the human zoo rehabilitation." Steven couldn't help but laugh. Under all that kindness was a little scheming mind that impressed him. "Besides, this just proves one thing to me."

"Oh and what is that prey tell?" Connie stepped forward a bit and smiled. Her tone soft yet firm.

"You began this project, you do care."

"Any proof of that?" Steven asked smirking and folding his arms.

"You're here now when you said you didn't want too be."

"I came here to talk to you about this odd behavior of yours as of late."

"Exactly! You came here! Instead of just sending Pearl to bring me to you. I think your gem half is wanting to know the human half of you again." Steven narrowed his eyes a tad. She pointed out what was only true. Still he wasn't going to let down any defenses....until he remembering the annoying inner voice and small white glowing butterfly flying around him from the night he left her.

Steven walked down the hallways in deep thought. As if on autopilot and muscle memory to get to his chambers. Stepping up the stairs he began to feel more pain in his gem. Aching with every step he took.

'More.... I need more....'

'No we don't. Focus Steven! We can still push through this! But I can't hold on from this poison forever.'

'Oh hush up! It helps us!' He groaned once he reached his door. Bending over in pain as he rushed inside and quickly drank the familiar green liquid.

'OW!.... we don't have much time. But we have to get to know her the right way. She is the key to helping us! We loose her and this is all over.'

'Suppose it is, but what can I say? She already doesn't like who I am... can who can blame her...'

'Okay before you brood just stop and think for a moment. You apologized and she is willing to help us both. In time, once you allow it to happen, she will see more and more of the real us.'

'Oh and what is the real us?! A pathetic human-gem hybrid that is just a weak beast underneath!' A wave of pain went through his head as he rubbed his right temple.

'In time, you will see that I'm right....' his voice faded like an echo, or when the song fades out for the next one on the radio. Sighing he watched the embers as the pain subsided. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw a white glowing butterfly right outside the window. He saw it before.

It lead him to the human zoo to create the reintroduction project, when he saved Connie, and lead him to the library a couple days afterwords. That butterfly has been there for him since.... Since he started emotion and mindful training with Garnet. Before the incident.

Steven sighed and held his arms out in a dramatic gesturing fashion. Mockingly smiling at her as she took a step back from him.

"I'll humor you Connie. Suppose if I was here for that, what would you have me do?" He asked as she gestured for him to sit next to her back where they sat previously. He complied as she picked up a book from the side table. " 'The Unfamiliar Familiar'?"

"It's about a girl named Lisa who discovers she's a witch and has a familiar. A talking falcon called Archimicarus and they go on a quest to find her father, Plinkman. Who was kidnapped by a mysterious one-eyed man." Connie explained opening up to the beginning. It was her favorite book series and the entire library had the set.

"You just read and summarized the back of the cover, didn't you?" Steven stated more of a fact than a question as Connie blushed and rubbed her arm slightly.

"No- well I- Um.... Shut up!" She said clearing her throat. "Look listening to someone tell a story from a book is an amazing way to connect to your imagination. Let your mind wander into adventures without ever having to leave the comforts of your own home!"

"You are forgetting I did live on earth and have experienced reading like you have. However to say this is a home... well that would be too nice to give it such a name." Steven said and was slightly surprised when Connie slammed the book shut.

"Look we can either do this or not. But I won't have you tarnish one of my favorite things in the entire universe! Because you can't get your damned head out of your own misery and look at the beauty right before your very eyes! Of course I shouldn't assume, after all you seemed to be blind to it all!" Standing up she began to step forward when his hand held hers, making her stop. They stood silent for awhile until he finally spoke up.

'Just open up your mind and stop pushing her away.'

"My apologies... I didn't mean to upset you like this." He sighed and let go as she turned around. "I don't have any fond memories of reading to escape. However perhaps I should....try again..." Connie sighed, hearing the somber tone as she calmed down and sat down next to him. Opening up the book and began reading in a much softer tone.

"Okay, but you have to keep your mind wide open."

[cuthian]

Dancing with a Limp Chapter One

 Welcome to another instalment of this little series. After this one, there is only one more before the bigger piece. There are several timejumps in this fic, but they mostly occur in the second chapter.

I absolutely ADORE Peggy Carter, and I have been itching to bring her in for a while now :D This part in the series will also establish the lives of the rest of the Avengers, beyond Steve's PoV.

Thanks to Juulna for helping me with this :) I love ya, doll.

Much Love, Annaelle

The One Where They All Try to Deal

Dancing with a Limp

“You will have lost someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” —Anne Lamott

ONE

November 1943 U.S. Army base camp, precise location undisclosed, France

Steve

“I thought you were a dream,” Bucky had whispered, confided, once they’d managed to secure their own tent after Azzano, after Steve had relearned how to kiss Bucky, how to touch him, how to love him with his new hands and new body—after Bucky had spent an appropriate amount of time doing the same to him. “I thought I was dying and God took pity on me, allowed me to dream of you one more time.”

Steve remembered he’d made a hurt little noise at that, that he’d tried to shuffle even closer to Bucky, and that he couldn’t fathom the idea of having to live without Bucky.

“We’re safe for now,” he’d whispered. “I’m never letting you go again. Ever. Promise.”

Bucky hadn’t said anything after that, but he’d held on just as tightly as Steve had.

——————

Washington D.C., USA October 10th, 2011

Peggy

Peggy Carter looked over the files Anthony had assembled for her and, for a moment, she felt every single one of her ninety years. She sat on young Nicholas Fury’s chair behind his—frankly ostentatious—desk, a series of classified documents spread out on the mahogany surface before her, each more damning than the previous. In the end, they proved, quite indisputably, that Nicholas Fury himself had signed off on isolating Steve—her wonderful, poor, poor Steve—as soon as they could, in order to ensure he would be “more amenable” to their request to join S.H.I.E.L.D.

Her blood boiled at the mere implication, and she had already ensured—through her various, wonderfully loyal contacts that remained from her days as Director—that heads would roll for this.

She understood that, in their line of business, questionable decisions had to be made, but this… Breaking an operative simply because he refused to join their organization was not the way Peggy Carter had done things, and it certainly wasn’t the way she had taught Alexander and Nicholas to run their organization after she’d retired.

She sighed.

Anthony was pacing behind her, muttering to himself about an issue he had run into earlier when hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files, and the constant trotting would annoy her if it were anyone else but Tony. She did adore the boy, her first godchild, and she knew he could never quite stay still.

“Anthony, darling,” she spoke up nonetheless, turning in her seat to look at him. “I think we have quite enough to nail him to the wall, so to speak. No need for such concern.”

Tony looked at her, wide-eyed and evidently caught off-guard before he shook his head. “There’s something else there, though,” he insisted, a near-manic gleam in his eyes. “JARVIS hasn’t gotten through the firewall yet, but with a little more time, I know we could—”

“Tony,” Peggy interrupted tiredly. He was quite brilliant, her darling godchild, but he tended to get carried away. “They’re a secret agency. I’m sure there are quite a few things still there.”

Tony frowned. “That’s a good point.”

Peggy simply shook her head and smiled, turning back to face the door just as it swung open.

“Ah,” she smiled blandly when Fury froze on the doorstep for a split-second before he stepped inside, letting the door swing shut as though he was accustomed to finding his former director and a wayward billionaire in his office. Of course, she mused, showing up unannounced in someone’s office did sound and awful lot like something Tony would do, so perhaps he was accustomed to it.

“Nicholas. Please,” she said calmly. “Have a seat.”

It’d been some time since she’d last conducted an interrogation, but she found she hadn’t quite lost her touch, and Nicholas—though much older than she remembered him—seemed rather unnerved.

Excellent.

She remembered an idealistic young man, fresh out of the army, willing to fight the injustices of the world with everything he had. He’d actually quite reminded her of Steve. Alexander had too, of course, but only insofar that their looks were almost eerily similar—Alexander, though he preferred to be seen as altruistic and kind, was nothing like Steve in personality.

With that in mind, she did find it quite difficult to imagine Nicholas, of all people, who had fought against injustice and manipulation within the system, signing off on what amounted to blatant emotional manipulation and outright abuse of a fellow veteran.

“Dir—Mrs. Carter… Mr. Stark,” the tall man said, obviously struggling not to show how thrown he was by their presence in his office. “I wasn’t told to expect you.”

She smiled. “That is because I did not have anyone tell you.” She raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the chairs before the desk, while she remained seated in what she presumed was Nick’s own chair. “Will you not sit? I think we have some things to discuss.” It was a rather cheap move, if she did say so herself—an easy bit to establish her dominance, but she had to admit it did work wonders.

Nicholas was, of course, far too experienced by now to blatantly acknowledge he was intimidated by her, but Peggy Carter had spent most of her life reading people who were exceptionally hard to read, and she could tell he knew why she was there.

She assumed he knew she wouldn’t let this kind of slight stand either.

She may be old, but Peggy Carter was not one to be trifled with at any age. She would not let anyone—not even the agency she had built from the ground up herself—mess with her family.

“Now,” she said when he’d—reluctantly, she observed—taken a seat. “I’m sure you have a perfectly reasonable explanation for this.” She shoved the files towards him, taking a perverse kind of pleasure in the way he scrambled to catch a few of the papers that fluttered off the desk.

She was wildly uncomfortable—living to the ripe old age of ninety had its downsides, after all, and creaky joints was one of them—and in a very poor mood, so it felt good to see Fury struggling to find his words as he looked over the papers with an increasingly inscrutable expression. “I do hope you have a satisfying explanation, Nicholas,” she added, raising an eyebrow. “That is, if you’d like to keep your job, and these papers out of the press.”

“Surely you understand,” Fury finally spoke, tense and lowly. “We have to make difficult decisions in our line of work. Captain Rogers is a tremendous asset, and—”

“He is a twenty-eight year old war veteran,” Peggy hissed. “He lost everything he held dear in the world, and he needed a support system. Genuine help, not isolation so he would be more “amenable” to what you wanted him to do.”

Fury simply raised an eyebrow at her outburst, tilting his head to the side lightly before he replied, calm and clearly measuring his words, “I assure you we did not make this decision lightly. Captain Rogers was in danger of becoming a loose cannon. Our best psychiatrists—”

“—should be fired,” Peggy practically bellowed. Fury looked taken aback, and she took a deep breath to calm herself, before settling back into her seat. “And they will be fired.” She glanced over her shoulder to where Tony stood, smiling lightly when he shot her a thumbs up. “In fact, they’re being escorted out of the building as we speak.”

“Mrs. Carter,” Fury spoke, voice tight and controlled. “With all due respect, ma’am, you no longer have that kind of authority.” There was a tiny little vein pulsing on his temple, and Peggy found herself quite amused that this man—this man, who only had power because she had insisted he take Alexander’s place when he joined the World Security Council—thought he could tell her what to do.

She would have thought people had learned to stop trying to tell her what to do when she founded S.H.I.E.L.D. in the wake of the S.S.R. trying to force her into a desk job after she and Daniel got married.

“I think you’ll find that I do,” she replied succulently. “And, unless you are hankering to be next, I suggest you think long and hard about making decisions like the one you made with Steve again.”

“Oh, snap,” Tony breathed behind her, and Peggy narrowly refrained from rolling her eyes.

While she appreciated the sentiment, it was hardly the time to comment on it.

She kept her gaze firmly locked on the dark-skinned man before her, trying to gauge his reaction to her words. Honestly, he had learned to control his expression in the decade since she had last met with him in person, but there were still miniscule tells that she had learned how to read over her decades of work in espionage.

Her words had clearly hit a nerve, though she was unsure whether he was angry or impressed.

It was, likely, a combination of both.

“Do we understand one another, Director Fury?” she finally spoke, when it became clear the other man was not inclined to speak up anytime soon. While she had originally planned for a much longer conversation, she had no desire to stick around in Washington any longer than she absolutely had to.

Steve was still in New York, with her other godchild and the rest of their ragtag group of friends, and she had waited quite long enough to see him—all of them, truly—again.

Perhaps if she had insisted… if she had not conceded when Becca had told her Steve wasn’t ready to see her yet—hadn’t quite come to terms with the idea of her being ninety yet…

She supposed there was really nothing for it now.

She was here now, and she had no intention of leaving any time soon[LP1] .

Fury eyed her speculatively before he nodded curtly. “We do, Mrs. Carter,” he said calmly, though she could see the silent anger behind his blank expression.

“Excellent.” She smiled pleasantly before she turned in her seat to look at her godson. “Anthony, darling, do be a dear and fire up the jet, yes? I think it is high time we return to New York.” Tony smirked and saluted—the little shit—before he helped her up—a thoughtful little shit—and hurried out of the room.

“It was a pleasure,” she said blandly, heading towards the door without another look at the man who’d tried to orchestrate a mental breakdown for her former almost-lover. “Oh,” she turned at the door and smiled the most insincere smile she could manage. “You might want to expect a visit from Timothy Dugan too. I hear he and the other Howlies were none too pleased either.”

She didn’t have to look back to know she’d caught him off guard.

Perfect.

Checkmate.

——————

Outside Salzburg, Austria, 1944

Steve

“You do realise,” Gabe had said casually, while he and Steve were pouring over the maps to locate their next target, “that we all know what you and Sarge get up to in your tent at night, right?”

Steve had stiffened, and he’d fought to control the unadulterated fear that shot through his veins at the mere idea of someone knowingabout him and Bucky. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he’d replied carefully, measuring each word painstakingly. “Only thing we get up to is strategy planning.”

Gabe had snorted, and if he weren’t so fucking terrified, Steve would have winced at his own dreadful excuse, but he was terrified. “Hey,” Gabe’d grabbed at Steve’s arm—none too gently—and Steve had realised he was panting, his breath coming fast and harsh, and his head had been spinning. “Cap. Steve. We don’t care. We don’t care. None of us care. We ain’t ratting you out.”

He’d focused his attention on Gabe’s dark eyes, grasping desperately at the sincerity he saw in them. “You don’t care?” he’d whispered. “That we’re—”

“You’re ours,” Gabe had replied fiercely, fingers digging into Steve’s biceps unforgivingly. “We’d give our lives for yours and you’d do the same for us. You got our backs. That’s all we care about.”

“Okay,” Steve had whispered, still dazed and a little afraid.

“Okay,” Gabe had nodded, turning back to the map, and the moment passed, almost like it had never happened to begin with.

——————

Avengers Tower, Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA October 10th, 2011

Peggy

Returning to New York was far less of a hassle with the convenient use of Anthony’s private jet, especially considering the brief stop they had to make to liberate Timothy from his awfully strict nursing home. She supposed she could understand the orderlies’ reluctance to let the elderly man wander around without proper medical care—he was, after all, a ninety-nine year old man—but it was rather tedious to have to convince everyone they were not going to get Timothy killed on a simple trip to New York.

“They like to pretend I’m made of glass,” Dum Dum grumbled to her as Anthony maneuvered his wheelchair onto the jet, setting him and Peggy up comfortably, side-by-side so they could chat while Tony flew them directly to the Avengers Tower. “I fought in goddamned World War II. I ain’t fragile.”

“Of course you’re not,” Peggy patted his hand consolingly.

It was, otherwise, a rather uneventful flight, and it gave her ample time to consider what to say to Steve when she saw him, although she was well aware that she would likely forget whatever ingenious speech she concocted the second she’d lay eyes on him.

It had always been like that.

Steve had had something about him that drew her in—a sincerity she missed in others who’d tried and failed to follow in his footsteps. Something that had broken her heart, in the end.

She had always known, of course, of his feelings for Sergeant Barnes.

A blind woman would have noticed the way Steve lit up for Barnes.

Yet there had been a faint trace of hope, lingering in her heart, a tiny flame fanned into enduring every time Steve shared a smile with her, every time his gaze lingered on her, and every time he blushed when she brazenly dared to flirt with him.

She didn’t think Steve hadn’t cared for her at all. There was, after all, quite some evidence to the contrary. However, there had been a war on, and the time they had spent together was limited and, as she looked back on it, filled with mostly shallow conversations. She had known only the things Steve had chosen to show her, and he had known only the barest facts she had chosen to share.

Perhaps the spark between them would not have survived peace time at all.

It was a question she would, sadly, never truly see answered, and though she had mourned Steve and what they could have been, she was forced to confront that her broken heart lay far beyond Steve’s death. It was, in essence, a broken heart that originated from Steve’s whispered, “I don’t know how to breathe without him, Peggy,” before the connection had been severed.

Even in death, it seemed, Bucky Barnes had a hold over Steve’s heart that no one could break.

She had not understood the ache he lived with after he watched Barnes fall. She could not have, not truly, not until she had lost Daniel, so shortly after they’d married. Not until she woke up beside Angie, realizing that her wife had fallen asleep and simply stopped breathing, only a few short years ago.

It felt quite impossible, both times, to remember how to breathe without their breath moving in tandem with her own, even though she had not spent nearly as long with Daniel as Steve had with Barnes, and even though she and Angie were never as incredibly close and dependent on each other as Steve and Barnes had been.

She’d spoken of it with Barnes, once. Only once.

It’d been after he’d taken a bullet to the upper thigh on a mission, while Steve was still pacing outside, shouting at whoever would listen that he wanted to be let in, that he wanted to see Bucky, to see that he was alive and well with his own two eyes.

“He loves you, you know?” Barnes had said casually, as though he weren’t pale and sweaty, weak as a newborn kitten after the blood loss. “If you wanted… you could have him.”

She’d been surprised, to say the least.

“Ah,” she’d sighed eventually, having weighed and measured her words for a long time before she found a way to speak them aloud, waiting until Barnes’ doctor had been pulled from the room to attempt to wrangle Steve into behaving before she spoke. “I could have him, I suppose, but I could never keep him. He has been yours, I think, for a very long time indeed.”

Barnes had looked surprised at that, and then wary, as she supposed was his right. It was, indeed, very dangerous knowledge to have, and to share out loud. “He don’t always know what’s good for him,” Barnes had finally slurred, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. “He’s a handful, but… ain’t no better feeling in the world than bein’ loved by Steve Rogers.”

Steve had burst in after that, looking rather frazzled and frightened and had honed in on Barnes like he didn’t even realise there was anyone else in the room, and Peggy had known then.

For Steve, there would never be anyone else in the room.

She imagined it was in fact very wonderful, even exhilarating beyond anything else in the world, to be truly loved by Steve Rogers—the man had never done anything in his life by halves, and she knew he would not love by halves either—but she did not think she would ever experience it.

When he was lost to them, Peggy mourned. Mourned what they might have been, mourned the man she could easily have fallen in love with, mourned the friend she had gotten to know quite well.

But she rejoiced, for surely wherever they were now, Steve and Barnes were together.

That, at least, provided a measure of comfort.

Unfortunately, it did very little for her presently.

Nervous energy, the likes of which she had not felt since either of her respective wedding days, curled in the pit of her stomach, filling her with the impossible urge to fidget. It was hardly proper behavior, but she found herself picking at her nails, twirling both of her wedding rings, and bouncing her leg the entire flight to the Tower.

Fortunately, they were awaited by Tony’s two lovely partners and Rebecca, who greeted her and Dum Dum with barely contained enthusiasm.

Peggy had, of course, met with the lovely Pepper and the dapper James before, but it had been quite some time since she had seen the both of them in person, let alone the three partners all together at once. Why, the last time she had seen them, the two men had hardly admitted their feelings for Pepper to each other, much less to the woman herself.

Rebecca—her sweet, darling, second godchild—was the most exuberantly enthusiastic to see her, though Peggy suspected it a mere byproduct of her relative youth compared to the others on the platform. It had also been much longer since she had seen Becca, because Tony made it a point to fly in to see her every few months, at least, and his Pepper Potts stopped by for tea every time she was in the U.K.

Still, she hugged them all, and took her time to greet them warmly, for she had missed them, and it was incredibly easy to divert her nervous attention to the trio before her.

“Uncle Gabe’s already here,” Becca informed her sagely. She gestured vaguely to the large door that led, as Peggy had been informed, to the common floor of the Tower, designed to be used by the entire team. Indeed, when she strained her eyes, she could see the vaguely blurred shape of a man sitting on the sofa by the glass wall.

“We’ve…” Pepper hesitated and exchanged a glance with Rebecca and James before she continued. “We’ve not told Steve you’d be here yet.” She held up her hand to fend off their protests before Peggy could even open her mouth, and she couldn’t help but smile—Tony had chosen well.

“We discussed it with his therapist at length,” she continued calmly. “While he’s doing better, his mental state is still incredibly fragile and unstable. We feared his anxiety would only be worse if he was left to await your arrival. Thor should be with him now.” Pepper glanced to Rebecca, who glanced down at her phone and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah,” Becca asserted. “He’s going to tell Steve you’re here to see him.”

“Is this Thor capable of handling Cap?” Dum Dum groused, wiggling in his wheelchair. “We all remember how stubborn he can be when he’s set his mind to something.”

Becca snorted, seemingly before she could stop herself, and crossed the landing pad to pat Dum Dum’s shoulder. “Yeah, don’t worry about that. Physically, he’s more than capable of taking Steve down, if need be, and he’s one of Steve’s closest friends in this century.”

It was a stark reminder of Steve’s unique situation, but it also warmed Peggy’s heart to see this group of people—so young, in so many ways, while also terribly experienced—care so deeply for her Steve.

“Well then,” she said after a brief, semi-comfortable silence. “Shall we?”

——————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: 

(1)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D

Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

[maid-of-mourne-shore]

5 Ways to Say it - Bucky x Reader

This is my entry for @moonstruckhargrove‘s writing challenge! 

Scenario: Secret admirer

Summary: Where the reader finds four ways to tell Bucky her feelings, and Bucky finds one.

Warnings: None!

Please check out my Master list if you like this and want more!

February 10th - Red roses

Back in the day, James Buchanan Barnes was quite the ladies' man. This wasn’t groundbreaking news, but even in the 30s and 40s, he was typically the one giving the gifts, the flowers, the chocolates. Sure, times had changed, but he wasn’t that man anymore, and though he had been on a few dates here and there, life with the Avengers hadn’t exactly given him the kind of time he used to have for a social life. So, when Bucky walked out the kitchen that morning and found a vase of twelve, fresh cut, red roses addressed to one James Buchanan Barnes, he didn’t quite know what to do with himself.  

On top of this, Bucky was unsure of how to talk to women he found attractive anymore, let alone date them, he was out of practice to say the least. So, he had put his focus elsewhere, first and foremost, relearning who Bucky was, finding peace with his past, and standing up to his demons, all of which wasn’t exactly first date material, nor was it something a lot of people wanted to assist with for the long haul. Bucky was a handful and he knew it, so sometimes it felt better just to brave it alone.  

He took the small note attached to it, turning it over in his hands, it was pink with tiny hearts lining the edge. Not exactly subtle, but he wasn’t here to dissect someone’s approach to attraction, as his tactic had simply been clear avoidance. There was no name, and no indication of who it came from as he didn’t recognize the handwriting. Perhaps, they were not as bold as he originally thought. He was still in shock that someone would send him flowers, who would do that? And why? Bucky sighed, placing the note down and getting on with his morning, shuffling over to the coffee maker, and pulling out his favorite mug from the cabinet.

It wasn’t long before people began to trickle in, each one remarking on the bouquet on display, asking about its origins, trying to solve the mystery.

“It’s official, Bucky has a secret admirer,” Natasha smirked, eyeing the roses.  

“This 100-year-old tin can does nothing but mope around, and he gets flowers?” Sam exasperates, gesturing to Bucky. “I don’t get women.”

“Some girls like the quiet kind,” Wanda says, giving a shy smile.

“Don’t worry, Buck. We’ll figure out who it is,” Steve gave him a winning grin, as he saw the dread on his best friend’s face. Bucky wanted to know who they were, but he was also terrified, having to face someone’s affections head on.  

February 11th - Favorite dessert

Bucky had always enjoyed working out, even before he became a soldier, it was something he could focus on, under his control, and sometimes it just felt good to hit something. Physicality was important to him, using it as a way to express himself, a medium to expel energy, this new chapter of his life with the Avengers only strengthening that, as he had to keep up his skills for combat, in peak condition to weather all sorts of conditions, and Bucky genuinely enjoyed that challenge.  

But Bucky also had a sweet tooth, a big, fat, sugar craving that could never be satiated, and everybody knew it. Steve was always on him about eating healthy, and treating food as fuel, though Bucky couldn’t care less. Under HYDRA, food wasn’t made to taste good, hell it was barely food at all most times, and there was certainly no dessert, Bucky felt that he was just making up for lost time. He often hid his snacks, so that he could escape a lecture from Steve, and so that other prying eyes wouldn’t help themselves. Though above all other treats, Bucky’s favorite was a good old fashioned, homemade chocolate cake. In his opinion, nothing compared to a perfectly moist inside, with icing that melts in your mouth, all fresh out of the oven. So, when Bucky finished his workout and came into the kitchen to grab a protein bar, and he smelled that famed dessert in the air, he couldn’t help but close his eyes and sniff.

There, on the counter top, was a chocolate cake, a tiny card beside it: ‘For James.’ His mouth dropped open.  

“Oo, I smell cake!” Tony sang as he rounded the corner, rubbing his hands together.  

“I’ll get the plates,” Sam added, running to the cabinet.  

“What’s all the commotion about?” Steve asked, looking around until his eyes fell on the current situation, sitting innocently on the counter. Of course, everyone would congregate with such convenient timing, Bucky thought.

“Buck, that’s not a good post-workout meal,” he sighed, Steve’s best ‘disappointed dad’ expression on his face.

Bucky looked around the room with wide eyes, all of them closing in with one, shared goal in mind: They were going to take his cake. Someone had gone to the effort of baking him a cake, timing it so it was still warm once he finished his workout, and my God he was going to enjoy every last bite. Bucky would kill them before he shared. In an instant, he grabbed the cake, made a mad dash for the elevator, before anyone could grasp what had happened. Bucky had downed the whole thing before the elevator doors opened to his floor.

February 12th - Being present

Ever since he had taken his mind back from HYDRA, Bucky had been working on himself. It was a fulltime job, and progress was not always linear. He had begun seeing a therapist who helped him sort through all the painful memories, building his confidence back up, and learning how to cope with his trauma. Steve reminded Bucky of who he was, and more importantly, helped him explore who Bucky had become. Everyone at the compound was more than happy to assist in the ways that they could, and even just having so many people around who cared about him was healing.  

But even now, he still had bad days, times where he was absolutely haunted by what he had done and what had been done to him. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night, throat raw, drenched in sweat. Sometimes it would be a sound, a word, a trigger, causing an associated memory to take over. Other times he wasn’t even sure what it was, to pinpoint what had set him off, though he supposed he didn’t always need a reason, sometimes, it was just a bad day.  

Steve had been his go-to, always getting him through those moments, staying up and chatting when he couldn’t sleep, grounding him when he retreated into his mind, but tonight, Steve wasn’t here. It was a particularly bad one, the kind that left him shaking in his skin, one where Bucky couldn’t stand to stay still afterwards. He ventured out into the living room, flicking the TV on, more for the noise than the content. Bucky settled into the couch, letting his head roll back, taking a deep breath as he tried to remember some strategies his therapist has taught him.  

I can see the grey ceiling.

I can smell the leather couch.

I can hear footsteps.

Footsteps?

Bucky turned his head, looking for the source of noise when he saw (Y/N) stumbling across the hardwood floor, yawning as she went to the kitchen. Rummaging around the pantry, clearly unsure of what she wanted, (Y/N) stopped and turned her head to see Bucky’s slate blue eyes peering out from behind the top of the couch.  

“What are you doing, Bucky?” She drawled, slow steps bringing her towards the living room, a box of crackers in hand.  

“Can’t sleep,” he shrugged.

“What are we watching?”  

“Dunno.” Bucky handed her the remote as she plopped down beside him, scrolling through some options before deciding on a buddy cop film.  

They stayed in silence for a while, partially watching the movie, partially spacing out in their sleep deprived state, the only sound was the crunch of crackers in her mouth. (Y/N)’s presence was nice, he had always felt that way, especially once he had gotten to know her better. Professionally, she was serious, calculated, and a bit sarcastic, but when the uniform came off, (Y/N) turned into a bit of a goofball. It was endearing to see her like this, barely able to stay awake, head leaning dangerously to the side, when he had the image of her killing people with her bare hands in the field to contrast it with. Abruptly, she shook her head, blinking, once, twice, and then sitting back.  

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She kept her gaze forward, her words even, and tone easy, an effort to keep it casual.  

“No,” Bucky appreciated her concern, but it was too hard to think about his dreams again when he was getting his bearings back in the conscious world.  

“Okay,” (Y/N) gave him a small smile, eyes starting to droop again, her head falling back against the couch, and Bucky knew she wouldn’t last much longer.

“Hey, you don’t have to stay,” he mumbled, her eyelids fluttering open.  

“Do you want me to go?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then I'll stay.”

February 13th – Cover me

Bucky awoke with a start, a bolt of energy zipping through him as he sat up in bed. No nightmare, no dream at all, so why the rush? His eyes drifted over to the cellphone charging on his night table, and it hit him.  

10:14am

Shit. The briefing started already.  

“Shit, shit, shit, fuck” Bucky hissed, jumping up from his bed, pulling on the first pair of pants he found. He shoved a hoodie over his head, slipped some shoes on, and he was out the door.  

Bucky scooted down the hallway and into the elevator, pulling his hair back and tying it back with an elastic that lived on his wrist for times like this. His foot tapped impatiently as it went through each of the floors before the doors opened at his destination. Once he found the closed door of the conference room, Bucky took a deep breath before pushing it open, ready to take the heat from Fury and the team for being so late, but when he stepped inside that wasn’t the response they gave him.  

“Oh, Barnes, didn’t expect to see you this morning.” Fury eyed him, and Bucky wasn’t sure if he was testing him or not.  

“Why not?” Bucky dared to ask.  

“(Y/N) said you were needed for emergency maintenance on your arm, some sort of mechanical malfunction.”

Bucky’s head whipped over to see her giving him a sheepish smile and the pieces came together. Oh, she had covered for him.  

“Yes...yeah, exactly. Uh, it was a quick fix, luckily,” Bucky nodded, opening and closing his fist for show.  

“Well, glad you could join us,” Fury concluded, looking back to everyone who was seated at the conference table.  

Bucky’s eyes fell back onto (Y/N) who now had a focused gaze to the front of the room, her cheeks a distant shade of pink, and he couldn’t help but notice that the seat next to her a was free, a file sitting on it. Bucky made his way over, and her head snapped up to look at him, hands grabbing the file and motioning for him to sit down. Bucky gave her a warm grin, sitting himself beside her, the folder addressed to him placed on the table, all of the briefing materials inside. She seemed to be doing her very best at ignoring his presence, leaning forwards on her arms, looking down the pages, and back up at Fury, her head staying completely parallel to Bucky’s and he had to wonder what all that was about.  

(Y/N) was a friend, even more so than some of the others, during these meetings they would often share knowing looks when Steve accidentally said something that had another meaning, which was quite often honestly. Once, they had even resorted to writing notes when Fury was reaming their asses for a careless mistake which had a turned the mission upside down. Regardless, Bucky was becoming antsy as the briefing was dry, and (Y/N) wasn’t giving him any attention.  

“Hey, (Y/N),” Bucky whispered, but she was steadfast in her goal to be a good girl.  

“(Y/N).” Still nothing.  

Bucky stuck out one vibranium finger and jabbed it in between her ribs, which caused the woman to let out a sharp hiss, squinted eyes looking over to find a smug grin on his face.  

“What?” (Y/N) quipped.  

“Hi.”

“Oh, for fuck-.”

“(Y/N), do you have something to add to the matter at hand?” Fury cocked a brow at the young woman, clearly asking a rhetorical question. She froze in her spot, resorting to a simple headshake to indicate her answer, before ducking to look at her papers again.  

Bucky felt bad, he really did, but he also couldn’t help but chuckle at her small misfortune. Fury liked her, in a day he would forget all about this little mishap and she would be back in his good graces, Bucky had no doubts about that. He watched her, the way she twiddled with her pen, chewing nervously on her lip, her eyes darting to catch his gaze before flipping back to Fury. Bucky reached his hand out, placing it on her thigh, thumb rubbing circles over the smooth fabric, her wide eyes questioning his actions as he mouthed ‘Sorry’. He hadn’t meant to get her so worked up, though unbeknownst to him, when it was Bucky, it didn’t take much.  

The meeting was adjourned and everyone rushed to get out. It’s not that they didn’t love their job, Bucky included, but getting down to brass tacks was never anyone's favorite part. Even goody two shoes Steve Rogers could be seen spacing out near the end of it, doodling on the back of his folder, much to Fury’s disapproval. Typically, Bucky would become restless fidgety after sitting for so long and take a trip down to the gym, but today his need to speak with a certain someone, was far more alluring. He swiveled his chair around only to find that his certain someone had disappeared. Bucky stood from his chair, finding that in his state of carelessness, everyone had left the room, his feet nearly tripping over each other as he bolted to find her.  

Thankfully (Y/N) wasn’t far, as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, Bucky could hear her sweet laughter ringing out, mingling with a low chuckle, her form coming into his vision along with Steve and Sam. Steve saw him and nodded, the other two turning their attention to him as well, Bucky waltzing to the fridge as if he had come in for something.  

“Hey, tin can. I was just telling (Y/N) about your secret admirer,” Sam snickered. Steve shot him a warning glance, but (Y/N)’s face dropped, her mouth clamped right up, eyes dropping to the floor.  

“Secret admirer?” Bucky questioned, closing the fridge, a bottle of Gatorade in hand.  

“Don’t play dumb!” Sam scoffed.  

“I don’t have a secret admirer,” Bucky stated, his free hand closing into a fist, and (Y/N) winced. Steve’s eyes traveled between the three of them, taking in their words and their reactions, his heartbeat raising as he began to piece the puzzle together.  

“Oh, so then how do you explain the flowers, and the cake?”

“Sam,” Steve started.  

“What?” Sam retorted.

“Just stop it!” Bucky growled, his slate blue eyes trained on (Y/N)’s pained expression, jumping at his harsh tone. The room went silent, Sam’s mouth hanging open, Steve’s brow knit together in worry, and Bucky breathing hard. Her eyes darted around, fingers pulling together, as she dashed out of the room, leaving the three at a loss for words.  

“(Y/N),” Bucky went to follow her, but Steve stopped him, giving him a knowing look.  

“Buck, I gotta tell you something.”

February 14th – In a different language

It was the day, Valentine’s day, the Hallmark holiday where one had to show their undying love and affection by purchasing halfdead flowers, and overpriced chocolates. Bucky felt like an idiot standing in that flower shop, surrounded by people, all buying the same, damn thing, all because they were told to. The man in front of him was barking on his cellphone about how it was such a pain, and how roses would most certainly be marked up for today, but if he didn’t get her flowers then he’d be left in the doghouse tonight. Bucky sucked his teeth at that comment, feeling sorry for the poor woman who would be receiving those roses later today, but could he really think of himself as better? Wasn’t Bucky about to do the same thing as everyone else here?  

“Next!” The attendant called, pulling Bucky’s attention.  

“Hi, I want to get something really special,” Bucky’s eyes pleaded, hoping that she would understand what he meant, the importance that this bundle of flowers would be carrying. “She deserves more than just roses.”

“Certainly,” she beamed back at him. “Let’s start with her name.”

“It’s (Y/N).”

“Alright, tell me about (Y/N).”

“Well, I could write a book,” Bucky chuckled, pushing some loose strands of hair back. “But I'll start with the basics. She’s beautiful, really beautiful, inside and out, and she’s always helping me, even when I don’t ask. She’s fierce, intelligent, damn good at her job, and a force to be reckoned with, but the worst part is, I'm just realizing all of this now.”

“Hmm,” the attendant quirked her brow, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she took in his words. “Ah! I’ve got it.”

She brought out a bouquet of flowers, a kind Bucky had never seen before, and she explained all of the different meanings to him, wrapped it up, and sent him on his way. Bucky was smiling ear to ear, despite the chilled weather and the falling snow, as his heart had never felt warmer, the conversation with Steve from the night before ringing in his ears.  

“What’s going on?” Bucky questioned. Steve had led him to his room, closing the door behind him, pacing around as if he was about to tell Bucky that he had been diagnosed with cancer. Steve stopped in his tracks and just stared at him.

“It’s (Y/N).” Steve answered.

“What’s (Y/N)?”

“Your secret admirer.” Bucky’s slate blue eyes widened as he took in Steve’s words, as incredulous as they were.  

“No, she’s not.” Bucky stated.  

Steve sighed, hands pulling across his face in frustration. “Yes, she is!”

“How do you know?”

“Buck, whatever just happened in the kitchen told me everything!”

“What do you mean?” Bucky mumbled, almost afraid of the answer.  

“When Sam told her about the secret admirer and you turned it down, she looked devastated. Now, why would that be?” Steve crossed his arms, waiting for the realization to set in. Bucky chewed his bottom lip, thinking of what had just transpired in the kitchen, the way her face had dropped at Bucky’s dismissal.

“It was her,” Bucky breathed.  

“Thank you,” Steve sighed, his head rolling back.  

“And I rejected her,” Bucky’s hand moved to comb through his hair, anxiety setting in.  

“Did you mean to?” Steve watched his friend's expression, still unsure of what Bucky wanted out of all of this.  

“No, God no! She’s amazing, she’s incredible, I just didn’t, I mean, I didn’t know that-.”

“You didn’t know it was her.”  

“Yeah.”

The compound was surprisingly quiet, though Bucky supposed that everyone was out spending their time with someone they loved, the silence only wrenching his heart further. Bucky worried that he had messed everything up, that (Y/N) thought Bucky didn’t want her, the pained expression, the creases on her forehead, the hurt in her eyes all came back as he squeezed the stems in his hand. No, he would apologize, make it right, and if she would have him, then he would gladly be hers. Bucky felt so blind, how he hadn’t seen it before, how he hadn’t seen her before; He always knew she was extraordinary, but it never crossed his mind that she would want him like that, that anyone would. It was his own self-conscious thoughts, constantly bearing down, reminding him of his past, of his altered and broken body, his bent and twisted mind, not (Y/N). No, she had never seen him that way.  

Bucky decided to freshen up in his room before asking FRIDAY where (Y/N) was, needing another minute to get his thoughts all in order before he could face her, but when he arrived, she was sitting on his bed. Opening the door, her head shot up to look at him, eyes wide, fingers twisting together on her lap, and Bucky nearly dropped the flowers. She launched herself up, clearing her throat, eyes falling back to the floor as she spoke.  

“Bucky, hi.”

“(Y/N), what are you doing here?” He questioned, stepping forward, placing the flowers down as he shrugged his heavy jacket off.  

“Um, I-I'm here to apologize to you,” she breathed, fingers running along her arm.  

“What for?”  

“F-for the gifts. It wasn’t fair of me to make it so public, I should’ve just done it in private so I wouldn’t have embarrassed you.”

“(Y/N)-.”

“Please, just let me say this and I'll be out of your hair,” she pleaded, eyes full of remorse that Bucky just couldn’t say no to her. He nodded, not trusting his voice.  

“Bucky, you’re an amazing friend. Whenever I'm around you, my heart feels full, like everything is going to be okay. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. I know it’s difficult in our line of work to navigate workplace relationships, and it was so hard to get a read on your feelings so I decided to keep it to myself, but eventually I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. I had to know, even if you didn’t feel the same, but I've humiliated you, and for that, I'm so sorry.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper at the end, tears coming to her eyes that were cast down to the floor.

“Is it my turn now?” Bucky asked tentatively. She nodded. He took the bouquet from the bed, peeling back the paper to reveal the flowers inside.  

“I don’t know much about flowers, but these are carnations, and like roses, the different colors have different meanings,” his eyes were on her, taking in the change in her expression from sadness, to confusion, to hope.  

“The white means, ‘Sweet and lovely,’ which although I know you’re much more than that, it certainly captures the way I’ve come to think of you. The pink means, ‘I’ll never forget you,’ because no matter what happens, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. And the red, um, apparently, they mean, ‘My heart aches for you,” Bucky cleared his throat at the confession.  

“Bucky, I thought,” she trailed off, fingers delicately grazing the edges of a crimson carnation.  

“I know,” Bucky sighed. “I know I messed up, but you have to believe me when I say I had no idea it was you,” his words were rushed, wanting to get it all out so she would understand.  

“And well, um, I didn’t actually realize that I felt this way until I knew that you did.” He bowed his head, checks filling with heat.  

“Thank you,” (Y/N) whispered, her hands cupping his jaw. Bucky sighed, leaning into her touch, his whole body relaxing into her. “No one’s ever bought me flowers before.”

“Really?” Bucky asked in disbelief.

“Our business doesn’t leave much time,” (Y/N) gave him a solemn smile.

“I’ll buy you as many flowers as you want,” he deadpanned, pushing the bouquet into her hands, causing a giggle to erupt from her chest.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s okay,” she cooed.  

“I’m serious,” Bucky pleaded. “And I'll find out what they all mean too, so I don’t give you any that say something rude.”

“Bucky.” He quirked his head. “I just want you.”

“You have me.”

Bucky let out a shaky exhale, a hand coming to rest on her hip, pulling her closer, his flesh hand holding her cheek, guiding her face to his. His actions were slow, almost hesitant, giving her plenty of time to pull away, but she melted into him, eyelids fluttering closed as their lips touched. It was sweet and innocent, gentle and nervous, the room gone completely silent, but soon the flowers were forgotten, hands, lips, and tongues making up for lost time as the air thickened. When a rough nip to her bottom lip let out a breathy moan, he finally pulled back, taking her in, the way her chest rose and fell, the distant look in her eyes, the heat coursing through his own body at the sight. (Y/N)’s head rolled to the side, eyes widening when she realized the poor bouquet had been dropped to the floor in the heat of the moment.  

“I’m sorry, Bucky!” (Y/N) scrambled to recover the flowers, smoothing the petals over with her fingers.  

“I’ll buy you more,” he shrugged.  

“That’s not the point.”

“What do you mean?”  

“This is my first bouquet,” she remarked. “I’m going to save it.”

Bucky’s lips curled up into a splitting grin, leaning forward to press a tender kiss to her cheek as she fretted over the slightly jumbled flowers. His hands covered hers, slowly pulling the bouquet from her as she watched him, perplexed when he placed it onto the bed once more.  

“Plenty of time for that later,” Bucky mumbled, guiding her into another sweet kiss, savoring just what he had been missing.