#its also 6 am and i havent slept so

[barnbridges]

for the 3 other people that watched breaking bad and are also into the secret history... when charles hypothetically begs henry to talk to marion (confess) he thinks it'd crack henry like it does him. but it wouldn't. henry winter would skyler white felina the fuck out of this woman, in fact. he did it for himself, he liked it, he was good at it. it made him feel alive. and it'd solve nothing. besides allowing her to just die, unseen and unheard by the narrative. charles would never confess to her though, he is a coward and always has been. he'd go die and rot, but he'd never say it, ultimately henry takes care of charles' fuckups not the other way around, ultimately he will always be a little kid appealing to henry's authority.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

weeee more fantasy au doodles

[siriuslygay1981]

Top three ways you know I needed to be asleep hours ago! (Read: days)

1. Hallucinating!! So fun, always a pleasure to freak out.

2. Writing/words not making sense when written or said. Lots and lots and lots of grammatical and spelling mistakes. Always nice to decipher what I wrote later in the day.

3. Headache. Ouch go away

[eldritch-apawmination]

HE JUST LIKE ME FOR REAL

[animentality]

sorry if this is rambly, it’s 6:30am and i have to be at work at 8 and i havent slept yet cause im roatating enver gortash in my head like a rotisserie chicken-

i was thinking about what initially drew gortash to durge, because its a damn risky endeavor to try and endear yourself to a bhaalist. its pretty much 100% guaranteed to end in death, either you die in the attempt or you succeed and become important to them and bhaals children always end up destroying whats important to them. so then maybe thats the draw?

he never has to guess what durge’s intentions are. working with shady criminals and politicians alike gortash always has to wonder if they mean what they say, if they are planning to stick a dagger in his back. with durge he doesnt have to wonder, he knows. they couldnt hide who they are if they tried, and they have no desire to try. and when the day comes they have a dagger for him theyd rather stick it in his front, not his back.

later he would come to appreciate their cunning mind, their keen intellect, and their boundless loyalty, but first? first he liked that he knew exactly what to expect from them. he walked into that toxic mess with eyes wide open.

I MEAN.

not only are you correct, you are also based.

this is true. the dark urge makes no attempt to hide who they are when he reaches out to them. i am the child of bhaal, they say. i am murder incarnate. i kill as easily as i breathe.

but if you're ok with that.

we can get coffee.

and gortash canonically hates sleazy politics and in fighting and backstabbing, which is why he tries to be a dictator, because he thinks he can get rid of all that.

so durge WOULD be a breath of fresh air for him.

there's no way he didn't know durge would probably attempt to kill him in bhaal's name further down the road.

like come on. the child of murder, who wants to destroy the entire world and offer it on a platter to his father?

come on now.

gortash is smarter than that. he's a banite, he knows. power grubby bitch means murder bitch, and they make out with the understanding that one day, they might come at odds.

but scintillating, isn't it, anon? the idea of it?

eeeurgh. brainworms...brainrot... you are so intelligent i could have a stimulating cup of coffee with you...

[confessions-official]

i feel bad for wanting a different life then i do now because my appartment is stable

i do have a bed to sleep on but i cant help but feel like i never truely had my own space because i never had my own bedroom and i always slept with someone else either next to me or anything, my sister has to take calls and lectures and i have to stay quiet, i want my own desk so badly because only laying on a bed has made me drastically lazy and such, i cant even cry in peace and i have to stop stimming when my sisters friends are over when i dont want to see them

i have a full fridge but its packed TOO much, we have abunch of meat in there that gets forgotten quickly, alot of food that only my parents eat, hell the kitchen itself it so horrid by other families standards, the moment you walk in you already see a overfilled bag of trash and counters that have not been cleaned in months, me and my sister had emptied and cleaned the fridge this easter break and the moment mom and dad got home it got cluttered again, the table we use to just place food is also a mess and we leave fruits and vaggies on it causing them to spoil more quickly

my mom keeps alot of soaps, papers, bags - she doesnt even go shoping, she doesnt want us to use the special soaps she gives away (which is a full closet to clarify) and got mad at my sister when she cleaned the bathroom and used one of those, there isnt enough space to walk, and we use only 6 bags at maximum

i dont know HOW to clean, at most we vacume but thats it, with all the stuff we have laying around its hard and i dont know which spray bottle to use for which products, i dont even know how to use a washing machine or how to mop a floor, theyre both very lazy (and i dont blame them both, theyre really tired all the time and my mom sleeps most of the day) and my mom would freak out if we shower more then 2 people a day because of this really musty dirty plastic bathtub we have that she collects water with so i shower once a week, i know how gross it is i feel bad but its not as bad as my grandmas house which is very moldy and its atleast bareable to invite people in

i never got to dress myself in the morning, my parents always wake me up and brush my hair (my mom always tells me my hair is oily or not brushed well even though everyone else tells me i do a great job) and they just argue about mundane stuff and i just want peace and quiet at 6 am - they always nag me about homework and studying and due to complicated neurodivergent stuff in my head i freeze and i cant seem to find anything i want to do untill its really late and im tried by that time i wish i could just do everything at the same time but i cant, and i cant talk about it to them, but aside from being boring to listen to they care about me unlike alotof other parents who probably wouldnt have bothered despite me not needing alot of support

i wish i had a small house and not an apartment, my stimming usually involves running around and with a small apartment 1) there will be always someone in a room and i dont like anyone else seeing me 2) the neighbors below, by some luck who havent sued us yet, probably dont apprechiate it, btu i have a place to live in

i already have a stable apartment and i shouldnt be complaining at all, i dont know why but i sometimes wonder how it would be like to live in the average family american TV seems to show

maybe my life will turn around once i have my own apartment / house, hopefully by then i will have learnt a thing about cleaning or two

 

[aroacee-of-spades]

nyx im losing it over the last episode if good omens the timeframe makes no sense

hi sorry i took a day to respond to this!! (btw part of the reasoning for this is that ur ask pushed me to finally create a table listing every single time that aziraphale's clock displays throughout s2, which is why most of this will be abt the clock)

i will actually launch into essays abt the timing of the last episode i'm not even kidding

to be perfectly honest with u at first i thought it was trying to mimic books, when timing would change to fit a scene (and not to point fingers at writers who do this ig but i just don't typically like stories like these lmao) but even that doesn't explain the damned clock (i am so done with the clock, its presence haunts me) + why would Neil ever have any reason to mimic amateur writing???

anyway, i'm killing myself over any way to make sense of the timing in that episode rn.

like unless if the way time works in the uk has changed since i last lived there, and if aziraphale changed time during the Halo Scene (this also brings up the question of How Much and What Else did he change, which to the latter i don't think he changed Anything) which btw in the Halo Scene, its 6am and while i can't find the exact time at the start of The Ball (if u can pls tell me i'd love to expand on this, rn it's just a bunch of ramblings put into a google doc) or- more technically i found One tiiiiny scene from the bts clips that MIGHT be the correct time but i have yet to check this lmao (according to the clip it's 6:30pm which, if true, only adds to the utterly bewildering timeframes)

BUT ALSO everybody seems to have a sense of time (as seen in the nina, "i havent slept in 30 hours, order accurately & fast") which means that MAYBE IT'S JUST US?? which makes this whole thing so much more confusing bc if thats the case then why. whyyyyy. Why would you EVER use a working clock??????

i have SO MUCH to say abt the timeframes at the END especially. but before i do, i really wanna know what u think (btw this isn't me trying to pawn my answer on u i just really wanna know ur opinions on Everything gomens related haha)

i also wrote this during my breaks as i worked and i'm now done and am Very Tired and cannot fathom doing anything other than resting on the sofa and rewatching gomens:)

[spock-pewds-louise]

Wow, uh okay so there's a thing going on with Pewds...

He got an urine infection, and that's just an annoying thing for humans to have but its apparently deadly for cats if not treated fast. Like I'm talking 3-6 days of having it untreated can be fatal😖

I texted the vet on saturday night and told them what was going on and if it was normal or what I should do, they answered at 6am on saturday (cuz who sleeps anyways? Clearly not me)

They told me to call the emergency vet and tell them, I did and he called the only open vet in the area, AND then we had an appointment asap.

I called mom and she basically ran out the door (and told me she didnt even take time to put on a bra xD)

She came and picked me and Pewds up, let me just say that shes like almost 15mins away, but she got here f a s t

We arrive and I tell the vet that hes been struggling to pee for almost 2 days, hes hissing and growling (not to me or the other cats), hes drinking water and have been kinda meh on the food.

I changed the food cuz they all started to throw up by the food theyve had for 10years...

And I told him I havent been the best at changing the litterboxes, or emptying them...

And the cats are fucking champs, they will only go in the box, even if. But it's not a "wow my cats adapted to my depression, awesome" its fucking serious, if fucked up BAD.

Because, the food I started giving them gave Pewds more crystals, cuz cat food have that for some reason, and if you dont change out sand and poop scoop often, that can ALSO give them urine infection.

AND its "common" for elderly and sterile male cats to get the infection, so that's a thing to remember.

Is it my fault? Dont know, could I've prevented it? Possibly.

Am I gonna be fucking better? Absolutely!

Back to the status of Pewds

After he stopped being all drugged up, he just looked genuinely pissed, which I get.

Drinking water, trying to pee, sleeping A LOT and only when I pick him up and put him on my lap, he starts to seem like Pewds again🥺

Headbuts, washing my face (trying not to remember hes constantly washing himself), purring and holding onto me in his sleep.

I've been inside the bathroom with him for hours, towel, a pillow and a blanket, and I've been up against a wall and Pewds on my lap or close to me as I've slept (and my neck and ass hurts like hell) hes peed on me, and I've let him cuz poor boi.

His wet food, given by the vet, that smells worse than any other I've smelled:

Come sunday night, 3am.

I've googled and learned all I wrote on top, and I'm sobbing, having a full on panic attack, just holding him and breaks and try not to cry on him.

I call the emergency vet dude again, tell him it's me from Saturday morning, update him and let him know about Pewds current behaviour and if it's ok, is it normal?

I tried not to cry on the phone, but I basically thought he was declining cuz of me.

But!

Everything is as it should be, all hes doing is normal, sleeping more is fine, didnt eat ALL the wet food? As long as hes eating, hes fine.

Randoming peeing with a tiny but of red colouring? Normal and fine.

So I calmed down, and sat with Pewds until I went back out to sleep. Woke up 3 hours later, put him in the cage and sat it in the hallway and I cleaned the bathroom, since it stank of piss, now hes just sleeping and relaxing, he seems fine, and nothing is screaming danger.

Google have helped, I talked to a dude I have on xbox cuz hes had a cat that *died* cuz they didnt catch it in time. So I'm lucky, Pewds is lucky.

Now we're just waiting for tomorrow, Tuesday, to see what the vet says.

Updates this post then.

Here is a fresh pic of him now:

Jk

[whitesandbrowns]

Day 1

1/100 | 17.07.23

Woke up around 6 today. Worked out. Though almost killed myself doing basic beginniner level day 1 workout. My arms are still paining. And i didn't even finish a whole pushup. Ugh.

Had some toast for the breakfast. I watched ruby's video while having breakfast. She is that one person who always makes me wanna do anything in my life with more passion and love towards it.

Then started working. Had good time at work mostly. Had weekly team meeting today as its monday. I am happy to see some progression over packaging design thing. I think we will be able to close it this week, at least from my side.

A tremendously funny thing happened to me today. I dont even know what to call it. So i was working at home till late noon, so after that i thought let's go to my fav cafe to have some mint tea and just work there. So i packed literally everything, went there and then i realized i didnt have my phone there. I left it at home as it was on charging.

But i was like, its okay, the cafe Still has the wifi. I dont need to worry much. I hardly use my phone anyway. But my dearest luck, had different plans. Even the wifi was not working there that time. The owner knew me so she was kind enough to offer her own hotspot but it also didn't get connected. The amazing bad luck i had. And meanwhile all of this, i already had ordered tea so i could not do anything but just wait for the tea to get its flavour and cool down a little bit so i can drink it. But i tried to stay calm and sketched out the cafe, did not turn out like i wanted to but i still did pretty good. Will share it tomorrow

I got home and studied for a while on tangible interaction design and as part of the example there ws this marble answering machine and i absolutely loved the idea. I havent even started the course yet but i can tell for sure how amazing it is going to be. I think i ak gonna finish these courses only as of july. And from august i will start preparing according bhanu's calender.

In my break time i saw this kid on youtube short and immediately fell in love with the parenting. I know for a fact she i gonna grow up to be an amazing person. Kudos to the parents who understands it is an individual they afe raising and not just some part of their own which they need to protect and pamper. Kudos to the kimonomom

and then i mostly slept and skipped dinner as i was not hungry. Thought went out to have ice cream with my dad before going to meet my grandma. She is not so well right now but i hope she gets well soon and gets stronger than ever.

Came home and had a call with my boyfriend while i did a little work and then focused on him, and had a great time talking to him.

Then i did some face massage with gua sha and jade roller. I didnt take a shower today because didnt feel like it. I hope i wake up early tomorrow. Root for me, will ya?

I think this day was overall not as productive. I felt sleepy for most of the part, i need to come up with better sleep routine but other than that, all good. I am happy. Confident. Hopeful.

See you guys tomorrow.

Love,

K

[internetkerosene]

first post!!hi! its currently 6:15 and i havent slept. im also wide awake. im listening to some electronic trance music while i do this!

i'm 19 and i have autism. even though i mask well and most ppl dont know, ive always been excluded from my peers. i struggle to make friends and keep them. folks seem to always want to hang with someone else other than me. in most rare cases when i am asked to hang, its usually as a last resort.

despite this i live strong with a smile on my face, and enjoy the alone time i have (not really). its currently summer break from college, so i spend everyday with my very awesome mom and dad, and my best buddy teddy bear that ive had since i was a baby. i also see my boyfriend (weve been together 5 yrs!). hes the only person i really hang with besides my parents. hes really handsome, but i wish i didnt rely on him for so much.

my days include of sleeping for like 12 hours, using my phone to look at stray kids stuff, and gaming for hours. i also watch tv with my parents depending on how busy they are. i recently beat final fantasy 15!! the ending made me so sad lol. now im playing final fantasy 7, and while i hate the controls, its still cool!!

my whole life ive experienced bullying. when i was little and in middle school, it was more severe and violent. id get called weird, ugly, and get pushed and punched. in high school it was more exclusion, ridicule behind my back, and constant put downs. not sure what i did wrong besides be a little different. i dunno. social stuff is scary.

anyway i think ill write a full list of my interests tomorrow. this feels so cool to make a blog like this. whoever is reading, have an amazing day! ur so nice for giving me some time of your day :3 xx

(srry for bad typing im doing this on my gaming keyboard so its kind of hard)

[chronicallyillphoenix]

My psych says that i am emotionally dissociated and this is the reason that in the past 6+ months i have actually felt a single emotion. The rest of the time i feel nothing. Absolute apathy. I get physical sensations of emotions (like tight chest when i would usually feel anxious, widespread tension/pain when i would feel angry, sinking chest and nausea when i would usually feel sad) but i dont actually *feel* the emotions. I have been explaining it like how it feels when getting a cavity fixed, the dentist numbs up the tooth so you dont feel the actual pain, but you still experience the physical sensations like the vibrations, smell, and scraping. She says its because i am still living with my ex and even tho we are friends, i still havent been given the chance to step back and actually let myself process all of my feelings.

Thats probably one of the reasons i am just now realizing im probably really depressed. Which would make A LOT of sense given a lot of the things that have happened in the past 6 months. Like. I broke up with my fiance the same day i got the money for a deposit for a wedding venue, i have lost not one, but three of my cats. And i never got to tell any of them bye because they live with my parents and even tho i didnt want them living outside, i didnt get a voice in the matter since i no longer lived there and the house went from my 2 parents, to 4 adults and a baby and they just didnt have room. Two of them were just really old and we think they did the animal thing and just went off somewhere to die alone and it *hurts* because the first one to go was my favorite because of how sweet he was and who i always slept with in my arms when i would visit (i have struggled so hard to spend the night there with him gone). But once he was gone the other two were gone within the next two months and none of them were expected (like we knew bandit and bunnie were old but we expected to them to pass away inside the cat pen where they stayed every night like every barn cat before them had and that way we could bury them up on the hill, but it didnt turn out that way). I have also developed more concerning health symptoms and have gotten no answers to them. And now my mom has broken her shoulder and isnt going to be able to work for the next 3 months and even tho shes getting workers comp, her pay is significantly less and shes my sole source of income right now. And so i am always already feeling guilty about spending any money but now i feel worse about it and am having panic attacks because i got fast food once this week because i was flaring too bad to make anything myself even tho my mom gives me money *specifically* so i can get food and stuff when i am in a flare.

But yeah i have realized i am almost certainly depressed and the funny thing is that the way i realized this was a tumblr poll. It was asking what peoples hobbies were and i couldnt answer it because in the past year i havent really had anything hobby wise. Ive mostly stopped reading, i am not doing pour paintings, not doing my paracord stuff, and anytime i decide im going to finally start knitting i just end up picking up the yarn and staring at it for a bit before setting it back down and going back to sitting on the couch with the tv on in the background for background noise.

Im going to see my psych on wednesday and i hope to talk to her about this but i also dont know what there is to do about it. Probably raise my antidepressant but idk. Im not even sad so i dont see the point in raising my antidepressant because idk what being not depressed would change because were pretty sure the apathy is because of current circumstances and not just because of depression idk. I just want everything to be normal again

[pesterloglog]

Calliope, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 7009-7013

CALLIOPE: this was yoUr home?

JADE: m hm!

JADE: well, sort of

JADE: it looked more realistic when i lived here

CALLIOPE: ah, yes. i recognize it now.

CALLIOPE: it's jUst like jake's home, bUt with less foliage.

JADE: foliage?

CALLIOPE: on his earth, these hills were covered in trees.

CALLIOPE: in yoUrs i sUppose there was more care given to landscaping. :U

JADE: huh!

JADE: thats interesting

CALLIOPE: is it?

JADE: ummm

CALLIOPE: i'm not sUre that it is, particUlarly.

JADE: heheh yeah i guess not

CALLIOPE: bUt it is very nice here, even if it is only a stylistic approximation of yoUr home.

CALLIOPE: pity there are no trees thoUgh.

CALLIOPE: i have never actUally seen one.

JADE: you havent?

CALLIOPE: come to think of it,

CALLIOPE: i have never even seen a plant... u_u!

JADE: :O

CALLIOPE: plenty of meat thoUgh!

CALLIOPE: meat was left for Us in great sUpply.

CALLIOPE: candy too.

CALLIOPE: bUt nary a plant for as far as the eye coUld see.

JADE: that sounds terrible!

JADE: when i was a kid i grew up with plants all around me

JADE: but i was very lucky... i guess i took all the nice things about my life on this island for granted

JADE: i even had my own garden where i grew flowers and vegetables and fruits and such

JADE: that is all i ever ate, the things i grew myself

CALLIOPE: ooh!

JADE: but i will admit to having developed a taste for meat since becoming a dog <_<;

CALLIOPE: meat is very good.

CALLIOPE: for all the complaints i might have aboUt my childhood, near exclUsive sUbsistance Upon raw flesh is not one.

CALLIOPE: bUt then, i am sUre that comes with the territory of being a monster. heh.

JADE: :o

CALLIOPE: i didn't mean to change the sUbject.

CALLIOPE: please tell me aboUt yoUr garden!

JADE: my grandpa set it up for me in the atrium

JADE: i would spend hours tending to my plants and playing music for them

JADE: it was one of the places where i was the happiest i can remember being

JADE: i miss that garden

CALLIOPE: what happened to it?

JADE: it blew up

JADE: and then i built my house waaaay up, on top of where it used to be

JADE: in the years since that happened i thought about rebuilding it

JADE: as a way to pass the time on my long lonely journey...

JADE: but i was too depressed to grow anything

CALLIOPE: hm, yes.

CALLIOPE: i believe i can sympathize.

JADE: what sort of place did you grow up in that didnt have plants?

JADE: was it a desert?

CALLIOPE: of sorts, yes.

CALLIOPE: it was earth, actUally.

JADE: ???

CALLIOPE: my earth was mUch less hospitable toward life than yoUrs.

CALLIOPE: i am sUre i was the only living thing left on the planet.

JADE: that sounds lonely

CALLIOPE: it was.

JADE: but didnt you say meat was left for "us" earlier

CALLIOPE: oh.

JADE: was someone else there?

CALLIOPE: yes.

CALLIOPE: technically.

CALLIOPE: bUt he was only there while i slept.

JADE: who?

CALLIOPE: my brother.

JADE: oh!

JADE: i had a brother too

JADE: its funny we keep discovering ways that we are alike

CALLIOPE: yes, bUt not so mUch in this way.

CALLIOPE: for one thing, yoU and yoUr brother never detested each other, to my knowledge.

CALLIOPE: also yoU and he spent most of yoUr lives apart.

CALLIOPE: to yoU i'm sUre it seemed a crUelty to grow Up so divided.

CALLIOPE: bUt to me that woUld have been a great liberty.

JADE: this is where you and your brother lived?

CALLIOPE: u_u

[starrierknight]

weezer & soad r the best imo (its funny how weezer is like silly goofy and soad is silly goofy rock)

ITS 6 AM RN WHERE I AM I HAVENT SLEPT AT ALL 💀 dc brainrot getting to me fr...

bagels are delicious tbh like.. kinda basic but DELICIOUS

"miss you pookie bear 😘" oh lord.. 😓 /ref —🐉

Weezer is so silly billy silly sausage getting silly with it!!!!!! they're like. if the duck from "the duck song" started a band.

BABEEEEE GO TO SLEEP!!!!! OML... but also if ur gonna stay up, u should gimme the details abt this brainrot hehehe :3 I love love love feeding into delulusions 🫶🏻🫶🏻

oh LAWD 😳 not me suddenly becoming ur e-kitten... I mean what? I didn't say that! :3

[blackvail22]

9/22/23 — 1:20am

i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!

im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯

im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????

anyways

im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand

im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.

im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....

im tired

i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return

2:51am

idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.

and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck

this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself

yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol

3:16am

ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"

i hope it doesnt come off weird

ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now

[himbos-hotline]

Hiya Samuel! I've been... writing. How about you? I'm trying here. Tryin so hard. I have feelings and emotions and my back hurty so bad and I'm cold because I don't want to turn the heat on and BLECH Anyway, writing. How bout you?

shanieeeeeeee!! By writing do you mean being attacked by angsty ideas that wont leave you alone until youre written them down ive started writing Jay's canon story which literally starts with her fucking Adam Cole which makes me laugh cuz when hes added to the polycule Jay has the audacity to judge kenny and hanger with "youre fucking adam cole?!" and then a pause and "why?". I also started a fic about how Regals betrayal affects Jay, I think I may have another kenny and hangman fic in the process because theres two paragraphs in my big siblings discord DMs

I have one last request to work on but my brain doesnt wanna start that fic. so yknow, im sorry to whom requested that but it will get done.

writing will happen soon for you. I hope that you get warmer and back stop hurty. My knees been hurty and I edned up in hospital again because covid finally got me but today [its 6:37 am, no we havent slept]

[ophiomormousmenace]

CHAOS

CHAOS YOU ABSOLUTE UNIT YOU ARE GIGA CHAD RN I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH CHAPTER 17?????? WAS SO GOOD?????? AND FOR WHAT???????

~feral anon

HELLO ITS 6:20AM AND I HAVENT SLEPT YET. King of making bad choices right here👑

ANYWAY IM SO GLAD U LIKED IT HEHEHEE THE NEXT CHAPTER... is a lil angsty but for good reason!! And it doesnt end too angsty dw :3 Im a sucker for cuddles n naps what can I say

Itll ALSO have some more Sun & Moon pov!! So yeah!!!

Anyway... 😏😏😏 reminder that I've an 18+ twitter under the url @/astralunasty hehe xx