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savage-rhi · 2 years

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Immortal Shield Chapter 27: Hesitation

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Tagging: @seradyn

A thundering storm outside of the hotel began to pick up in speed as rain poured down hard and tapped against the windows. Ardyn tossed and turned in bed. His fingertips gripped the sheets of the mattress, attempting to keep himself hooked and tethered to reality while his mind was anywhere but.

The Astral bane awaits.

Flashes of Noctis and Lunafreya came to mind. Their faces contorting into monstrous and depressing forms. There was no way in the waking world Ardyn could describe what he was bearing witness to. Noctis was stripped of his humanity from the inside out. A pair of eyes with semblance to Somnus peered out from the recesses of Noctis’s chest right at Ardyn. The sudden display had him scream out in the waking world. Ardyn's cries reverberated throughout the hotel room while he continued to dream.

Seal draconic entity to its fate.

His mind felt that it was being melted and broken down. A warm heat overtook every nerve and fiber of his body. Ardyn tried in vain to yell, but only desperate rasps left his mouth. He was dragged into a darkness, and like rising from the depths of an ocean, he emerged at the surface and gasped out like a newborn child taking its first and last breath. Crawling on his knees within the void, Ardyn could make out a room that held familiarity accompanied by soft whimpers echoing throughout the vicinity.

Ardyn forced himself onto nimble feet, his body swayed while he gasped and groaned. He found purchase alongside a tall marble column. His eyes darted around, blurry vision now becoming grounded once more. He squinted his eyes towards the large bed that had blue draping cast from the ceiling. The smell of sandalwood and fresh dried peaches lingered in his nostrils.

He was in Somnus’s chambers some 2,000 years ago.

“You,” Ardyn lowly sneered. He forced his weakened body to travel across the room. Eventually, Ardyn fell on his knees in front of Somnus, the great king, who was sitting at the edge of the bed, crying into his hands. A plethora of whispered pleads left his lungs. He barely had any air left in himself.

“Is this--supposed to make me feel pity for you?!” Ardyn exclaimed, he grit his teeth and shouted. “I took care of you. I protected you, and you took everyone I ever loved away! You miserable ingrate! You were the first person I cured of the scourge, who told me I should use these gifts to help others and then down the road, you stab me in the back! I hate you! I hate you so much! You don’t know what I’d give to wring your neck and throw you into the depths of hell! Damn you and damn the gods! I don’t care if you helped me with Bahamut before, you can eat shit too, brother!"

Like with his other visions regarding the past, Somnus ignored Ardyn’s yells. He continued to sob heavily into his hands. The scents of the herbs he burned was the only thing that offered any kind of reprieve from his sorrows.

“I’m--I’m so sorry,” Somnus whimpered. He gasped aloud, his hands once more meeting his face. Fingertips digging into his scalp while he silently raged.

For a moment, Ardyn could’ve sworn that perhaps Somnus did hear him this time around. His mouth parted, hanging open while he observed silently.

“Aera,” Somnus choked out. “That wasn’t--that wasn’t supposed to happen. Ardyn, I’m so sorry. I--I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know this was going to happen---I--Aera, I’m sorry---!”

"Foolish desires leave one for no rest."

A powerful voice permeated the room, causing several of Somnus’s belongings to quake. Ardyn felt his skin become littered with goosebumps. He knew the voice, all too well. It was akin to hearing a familiar friend, but with an undertone of malice that couldn’t be fully fathomed. He watched with horror as Somnus leaped up from the bed, staring towards the window as the draconic entity, Bahamut, showed himself.

The Astral’s four wings flared out, illuminated by golden tips as he stared straight into Somnus’s soul.

“You lied to me!” Somnus spat with contempt in between tears that trailed down his face. He sniffled, nostrils plugged from his own mucus. “Aera was supposed to live! I did everything the Gods and you bade of me, and I still lost her! You promised! You yourself dragon king promised no harm would’ve come to her! I had a vision that she was at my side!”

"The Oracle was destined for thee, yet she forsake herself to the Adagium. Her fate was in her own hands. Gods do not intervene in the theatrics of mortal men."

“How dare you!” Somnus yelled. “You plagued me with visions of an Eos in ruin because of Ardyn taking the scourge into himself! That if I didn't usurp the throne, it would lead to damnation! You threatened me with Aera, that if I didn’t go through with your demands that Ardyn be sealed away, she’d be taken! It didn’t matter, none of it did! I should let Ardyn out, tell him the truth, and let him destroy you!”

"You forget yourself, young Caelum. Be at peace. For thou art king."

“I don’t want to be a king! I want my family back!”

"Thy have proven incompetent of mind. You dare beseech the Gods who have given thy everything he wanted. We who took from one brother and gave to the other. Somnus Lucis Caelum, the Adagium shall not be yours to vanquish in your lifetime nor the next. Your blood will multiply until the true king comes forth."

“I refuse to--!” A sharp gasp left Somnus while he levitated from the ground. His windpipe felt as though it was being crushed under an invisible weight. His terrified blue eyes looked straight into Bahamuts as the dragon entity raised his left arm up, fingers clasping together making a fist while he controlled the force that grabbed a hold of Somnus and threatened to take his life.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of the Astrals. Your Oracle paid the price for sharing our secrets with thou. I have spoken."

As Ardyn watched the scene unfold, he felt his blood boil. His heart and soul split upon seeing his brother being treated less than, and hearing Bahamut degrade Aera’s life. Ardyn rose to his feet, letting out a bellowing cry while he rushed towards the draconic entity. There was a singular thought on Ardyn’s mind, which was to slay the dragon. As he ran with every ounce of energy he could muster, a tsunami of painful knowledge poured into Ardyn’s mind while he screamed out, summoning Rakshasa to his aid.

They all had been played by the Astrals. He, Somnus and Aera, all victims. The Astrals were terrified of the scourge. By itself it was of no consequence, but when bound to a living entity, could become a weapon to wipe the Astrals very existence. No longer could they be slain and rest for thousands of years before resurrection, they’d face the true death as mortals. The lives of everyone he ever loved, cared for, were all tossed away because of their fear, and Ardyn was in a terrible rage.

Before the end of Raksasha could meet with Bahamut's flesh, the dragon god turned towards Ardyn’s direction. The creatures eyes widened, and Ardyn was enveloped in a warm white light. He couldn’t see nor hear anything. The madness he had awakening within had become dormant. Ardyn thought himself to be dead, until he blinked. He saw an afternoon sky, could feel the texture of wheat underneath his body, and he rose up with a surprised gasp. Everything here was vivid and real, more real than Eos itself despite the atmosphere feeling light as a feather.

“Ardyn,” Aera’s soft voice coaxed him to glanced around, his eyes eventually settled on her figure from afar.

“Aera,” He blinked, his eyes watered with tears of joy. This had to be it, the other side. He got up and started running towards her. He imagined what it would be like to hold her in his arms again. She was so close, he could see even from the distance how she smiled proudly at him. Gods, he was almost home.

As he made it halfway through the fields towards his beloved, Ardyn suddenly stopped. Confusion settled on his face. Even he was unsure of why he didn’t continue on. He wanted to. With every fiber of his being, his soul longed to be united with Aera’s, but his body wouldn’t allow him to take another step. That’s when he heard Caelan from behind, he turned his head, assuming she’d be there by his side to join them, but there was no trace of her. Only her laughter and quiet pleads echoed through the soft pastel colored sky.

Ardyn once more faced Aera. His heart stammered and he felt conflict resonate within the entirety of his spirit. He swallowed, the corners of his eyes tearing up. He felt the truth hit him like a ton of bricks. Ardyn offered Aera a sincere smile, his golden hues filled with a remorse yet there was no guilt to be found.

“I love you,” He whispered with utmost sincerity. Even across the vast distance between them, Ardyn knew in his heart she could hear him.

“And I love another.”

He felt so foolish.

Ardyn bowed his head in defeat. His right palm met his face as he tried to keep his composure. His tears he had been keeping at bay streamed down his face. The small beads of water hit the dried out grass under his bare feet. Ardyn felt at this moment if Aera struck him down, he would’ve been more than deserving of her wrath. Not only had he damned Eos in the past, but he cared for another human on the same level he had held Aera to. Something that should’ve been reserved for one person and one person only, yet he harbored such strong attachment for two individuals.

Ardyn did a double take when the cosmos didn’t fall upon him, but instead he felt the warmth of Aera’s palm on his face. He stared up at her in bewilderment, scarce believing he was looking right into the eyes of his once beloved. He wondered how Aera covered so much ground to be with him.

“I’m sorry.”

Aera glared for a moment, shaking her head. She looked like a parent disappointed in her own child, and Ardyn couldn’t help but let out a small huff. He felt her flick his nose and he winced. The sincere look upon her face had him smile in between looking torn up. Gods, she really was here. Somewhere else, Ardyn could feel his body yearning to wake up.

Aera’s gentle eyes said all that needed to be said. She smiled big, giving Ardyn a reassuring nod. With a playful laugh, she shoved either side of Ardyn’s shoulders and he let out a surprised yell. Aera watched as he fell away, back to where he was supposed to be. The entire time her smile never waned.

Ardyn shot up from the floor of the hotel room, having tumbled down at some point during the night. He gasped aloud, pushing some long strands of his hair back. His whole body was covered in sweat. He scrambled to his feet and headed for the bathroom. His body ached for relief, feeling as though it had been beaten into while he slept.

He sat on the bottom of the tub for a long while as the warm water from the shower head trickled down across his back; soothing sore muscles and easing his rattled mind. Ardyn couldn’t remember the majority of his dream, but the words of whatever deity called out to him settled in his memories. He also remembered Aera’s touch. He knew her presence was around, but to what extent and what transpired, Ardyn didn’t have a clue. The human mind was too fragile for what was experienced. All Ardyn felt was a peace he didn’t want to feel. Not when he felt so lost.

“Cahl,” Ardyn called out groggily. He stopped repeating her name when he realized she wasn’t around. She wasn’t here to listen to his ramblings or help him make sense of whatever the hell was happening to him. No, not anymore. He made sure of that. It had been a week since he left her stranded at Cape Caelum. And Ardyn was now but only a few days from Insomnia.

Once he forced himself out of the shower, Ardyn wrapped a towel loosely around his waist and ventured back to the bed. He sat near the headboard, looking down at the night stand where his phone had been charging. Furrowing his brows and letting out a growl, Ardyn reached for his phone and unlocked it. He scrolled through his texts with her. Nothing new. There were no calls either. Ardyn's thumb hovered over the call button when he checked her profile on his contact list. A strong temptation to give Caelan a call crept in his psyche, and it was only out of pride did he relent. His hand retreated away, placing the phone back down before he fell backwards onto the bed. His palms rubbed his eyes while he sighed deeply.

Ardyn placed a new hat he had purchased for himself atop his head after checking out. He ventured outside the establishment, wincing from the high rise of the sun. The Leide region was sweltering per usual. He couldn’t help but recall the night he and Caelan first camped together in the desert as he walked away from the pit stop and began his journey once more to Insomnia.

“How often do you bathe?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Caelan was exasperated while she grimaced upon seeing Ardyn’s feet getting close to her face.

“May I kindly remind you dear, that you suggested we sleep in this fashion because of your discomfort lying side by side. And to be quite honest, your toes are not exactly smelling like sylleblossoms and lavender.” Ardyn countered. His tone was laced with teasing sarcasm. He let out a startled grunt when Caelan’s left foot hit him square in the jaw for the comment.

“Gods be damned,” Ardyn growled and he rose up, not able to take it any longer. He unzipped the front of the tent and crawled out.

“Where are you going?” Caelan grumbled, letting out an exhausted groan.

“I’d rather sleep outside with the stars as my companions than deal with your theatrics.”

“Suit yourself, brat prince. Sorry you couldn’t be pampered further! Do you expect a mint on your pillow when thou returns to his royal bedchambers?”

Ardyn felt tempted to go back inside the tent and smother Caelan with her own pillow, but he resisted. It was too much of an effort and she wasn’t worth his time. He made himself comfortable nearby the campfire, lying down on a smooth gravely surface. His legs crossed and his hands went behind his head while he looked up at the sky. Already he could feel the discomfort leave him be.

For hours he watched the cosmos dance to its own tune. There was a yearning that stirred in Ardyn’s heart as he observed each individual star. A mist of purples and blues further illuminated the ever expanding planets and solar systems of the beyond. Before he could contemplate further, Ardyn heard the ground nearby being startled. He looked up, seeing Caelan had left the tent and was now standing by him.

“I was out of line earlier,” Caelan said with defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t trouble yourself.” Ardyn sighed, then gestured with his head. “You can join me if you’d like.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. My hostility towards you died a while ago.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re quite welcome. Most don’t get such a pardon from yours truly.” Ardyn mused.

Caelan snorted, gave a playful roll with her eyes and then she sat down. From the corner of Ardyn’s eye, he observed her get comfortable while her body lied down beside his. A faint smirk traveled across his lips noticing how she was being mindful not to get too close into his personal bubble. His eyes stared back towards the cosmos.

“Tell me something,” Caelan started while she put her hands behind her head, a slight grimace hit her features as rock from the ground embedded themselves into her arms. “Did you guys from 2,000 years ago have bizarre myths about constellations?”

Ardyn chuckled. “Of course. Tell me one you know and we can compare and contrast.”

Caelan hummed in thought, furrowing her brows while she searched the sky. She hadn’t looked for constellations in years. Not since she was a child. There were very few she could recall. Given how vast space was, it was quite difficult to pinpoint one. She was surprised as the minutes ticked on, that Ardyn had nothing clever to say.

“That one,” Caelan squinted her eyes. “The one with the hook structure, that one’s called Sornia, the Conqueror. He was a king before Solheim came into existence. He slayed a giant serpent that encircled Eos, and the creatures blood created the oceans.”

Ardyn smiled as he listened to Caelan’s end of things. To say he was impressed and amused was an understatement.

“Sornia the Conqueror was known as Sornia The Traveler in my time,” Ardyn began. He turned his head to the side, observing Caelan as she continued to look up at the sky. There was something about the sense of awe in her features that had him transfixed while he continued.

“Sornia wasn’t a king, but an Astral. He didn’t emerge with the six, but came from another universe. His world and all the Astrals under his coven perished and he sought out companionship with our Gods. He was killed though, having angered Ramuh over a pitiful disagreement. The Gods vanquished him.”

“You guys took morbid tales to another level. That’s really messed up. Poor guy alone in the universe finds some friends, and they kill him over nothing?” Caelan raised a brow, turning to face Ardyn as he shrugged.

“Don’t shoot the messenger, it’s what I was told since I was a boy.”

“I think I’ll stick with the conqueror story.” Caelan laughed.

“I don’t blame you,” Ardyn sighed, he too joined Caelan with a chuckle. “I can relate with Sornia, I hate to admit.”

There was a silence that lingered between Ardyn and Caelan after his comment. Ardyn furrowed his brows, wondering if perhaps he was sharing too much. It was only when Caelan cleared her throat did the thoughts settle down.

“What was it like being in the presence of one of them, an Astral?”

“Wow,” Ardyn let out a startled chortle. He looked over, seeing the confusion and reluctance in Caelan’s features before he shook his head. “Forgive me. No one has asked me that before. I’m rather taken back.”

“You don’t gotta answer--”

“No, no, no, I don’t mind.” Ardyn interrupted. He offered a smile, hoping she wouldn’t turn him down with his offer. It wasn’t everyday he got to talk about such things with people. Not on a level where he felt he could be honest and sincere.

“Have you ever been in the presence of the king?” Ardyn asked. He watched Caelan nod a few times.

“Not the current one, though I’ve seen Regis before his passing.”

“Meeting an Astral is akin to meeting a royal, but with more weight. If that makes sense.”

“You feel nervous. Your legs want to give out and you feel there’s some magnetic pull this other person has and if you don’t respect it, you’re going to be in deep shit?”

“Precisely,” Ardyn laughed. He was quite amused at Caelan’s long winded response. Ardyn wasn’t sure why, but his body began to scoot closer to Caelan’s. He carefully gauged her reactions, more than prepared to stay in his lane if he overstepped boundaries. However he was amazed that she remained calm as he met her side in full, his head tilting to meet hers while he blinked and watched the skies with her.

“Tell me more constellation stories.” Caelan murmured. She was smiling from ear to ear.

“Gladly,” Ardyn began pointing out another cluster of stars. “Those three are known as the Sisters of Styria. They created the Styrian Sea with the tears they shed for their mortal lovers. The Astrals didn’t believe the men to be worthy of the Sisters affections and made them endure three harrowing trials. They passed all but one. The final test, was sacrificing their eyes. For love is blind, and if they truly loved the sisters, they’d endure. The men without question did as the Gods bade, yet it was a trick. By doing so, they could no longer comprehend the Sisters and thus forgot them over time. They could only be with them in the night realms when they slept. And when they’d wake, the lovers would have no memory of them. The sisters mourned and mourned in the heavens until the men died of natural causes. The Styrian Sea was made, and they were reunited.”

Caelan was halfway asleep by the time Ardyn finished. Her breaths became steady as her eyes fought to stay open. “Its nice they got to be together again.”

Ardyn looked upon her, giving a smile. “For a rather cliché tale, I couldn’t agree more.”

Caelan finally allowed sleep to take over. Ardyn remained put, and slowly began to shut his eyes. The cool breeze from the winds were welcoming to his warm body. Ardyn hadn’t had an interaction like this with anyone in thousands of years, and he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be seen and heard so casually.

“Sleep well." He murmured.

In the present, Ardyn stopped in his tracks. He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself as the memory of that night continued to play throughout his head. For whatever reason, his subconscious couldn’t let it go.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ardyn said to himself bitterly. Though he entertained the thought of seeking Caelan, he knew it would do no good. His presence would probably cause more harm considering the circumstances, yet his heart ached. He sighed through his nose, letting out a growl and continued onward, managing to hitch a ride on a truck much in a similar fashion for when Caelan and he first began their travels. While he rode in the back of the pick up, it felt so peculiar not having her sit across from him, interrogating about his teleportation abilities.

As Ardyn looked outward and watched various creatures roam by, he could feel his mind drifting off to Kurt and Florens. The final night Caelan and he stayed at their residence before departure.

Kurt and Ardyn stepped outside onto the patio. The moon was fully out, and the rampant chirp of crickets filled the Duscae region with various off key melodies. Both the men glanced behind them at the window, seeing Caelan and Florens working on something together in the living room before either of them acknowledged one another.

“Those two hit it off,” Kurt commented with a smile. "I didn't think they'd ever stop talking about Insomnian bands."

“Cahl is a people pleaser,” Ardyn said as a matter of fact, not bothering to hide his disdain. “It can be a mild annoyance at times.”

“I bet. Florens used to drag me everywhere to meet new folks. Even when I wasn’t in a mood or didn’t much care for the people we were seeing.”

Ardyn smirked briefly, his brows furrowed while he looked towards the Scepter. Ever since Kurt got a good look at him earlier on, Ardyn knew an uncomfortable conversation was coming. That his identity had been compromised.

“I know you’re the chancellor,” Kurt finally said after a long period of silence.

“What gave me away?” Ardyn asked. There was a coldness to his tone that had the older man slightly on edge.

“I lived in Gralea. You may not have been broadcasted all over Eos, but you were very common place on our televisions whenever Aldercapt went off on his grandiose announcements. Even without the eccentric attire, I knew it was you by your voice alone.” Kurt said as a matter of fact.

The older man made a sad face, shaking his head while he recalled the news about Gralea falling to ruins because of Ardyn’s exploits. Some of his family members, the ones that had rejected Florens for her being Lucian, were among the casualties.

“Do you intend on handing me over to the authorities of Lucis?” Ardyn tensed, bracing himself.

“No,” Kurt shook his head. “After what I’ve been through, I wouldn’t forgive myself if you ended up abused in their systems. Quite frankly, I don’t want to even know how you survived or what your story is. I made a promise to your friend that I wouldn’t jeopardize her. I know she’s on the run too. So no, I won’t be turning you in.”

“You have my eternal thanks,” Ardyn let out a sigh of relief. He was grateful that there wouldn’t be any bloodshed tonight. He was more than prepared to slay the couple, if it meant keeping Caelan safe. The pattern of thinking disturbed Ardyn. Not that he was above committing something so atrocious, but that he wasn’t thinking about saving his own hide. In the past, he would’ve made a calculated move to cover for himself alone. It’s how he played the political games of Niflheim and worked his way up.

“Can I be frank with you?” Kurt piped up, snapping Ardyn out of his thoughts. Ardyn shrugged, gesturing for Kurt to continue.

“Your friend loves you very much.”

Ardyn made a face, then tilted his head as he looked back to the window to observe Caelan for a time. His brows knitted into a glare.

“A preposterous assumption, I assure you.” Ardyn muttered begrudingly. “She is a loyal shield, and we aren’t even friends.”

“She spoke highly of you on the way back home.” Kurt huffed, not buying Ardyn’s brooding behavior in the slightest. “You’re both equally stubborn.”

“I guess that’s one reason why we haven’t killed each other yet. Too much common ground there.” Ardyn joked, hoping that it would allow him the opportunity to change the subject. Kurt however seemed key to press on as he felt the older man’s scrutinizing gaze upon him.

“Florens told me when you and Cahl were catching up, that you were married before. You lost your wife a long time ago.”

“I was,” Ardyn sighed. Shooting a glare towards Kurt. “Old crones truly are ones for gossip.”

“It’s not gossip if she’s telling her husband,” Kurt said in his beloveds defense, giving a smirk before he pressed on. His face faltered, going from playful to morose.

“I know it’s not my place to say anything, but I think you shouldn’t let this one get away. How many people do you know who would go rescue an old coot like me out of a concentration camp? Not many. Anyone that can tolerate your sorry ass after the nasty shit you pulled has a bigger heart than most of us.”

Ardyn sighed. “You forget yourself. I wouldn’t make assumptions that have no merit--”

“I see how you look at her,” Kurt interrupted before Ardyn could get in another thought.

“And how do I look at Cahl?” Ardyn asked with an exasperated sigh. He was becoming irate with the conversation.

“Like you saw the most delectable piece of orange cake this side of Lucis, and its way out of your price range so you have to stick to window shopping and hope one day you get it.”

“That’s highly crude.”

“I only speak the truth.” Kurt snorted.

“Whatever,” Ardyn shook his head. He decided to take the reigns of the conversation, no longer wanting Kurt to lead. He didn’t like the ideas the old man was planting in his head. He couldn’t help though but steal another glance towards the window to look at Caelan. More so to prove Kurt wrong that he didn’t do such things, and if he was gandering at Caelan in such a fashion, he’d catch and correct it.

“I don’t mind offering you and your wife financial compensation to keep quiet about Cahl and myself. I still have the means. Name your price.”

Kurt eyes followed where Ardyn’s gaze landed. The older man slowly began to smirk. Shaking his head, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“No need. Florens and I don’t want for nothing. Though I do have a request.”

“Name it.”

“Never pass up an opportunity to be happy.”

Ardyn raised a brow, his head turning to meet Kurt’s larger than life smile. The glint in the older man’s eyes had him flustered at the situation, knowing very well what Kurt was alluding to.

“I pray we never meet again after this.” Ardyn muttered.

“Makes two of us, chancellor.” Kurt laughed.

Three had come and gone for Ardyn, and he was standing in the middle of Insomnia at the center of the main district. He was quick to take in the changes that had come and gone; amazed that despite his meddling and destructive path, the city somehow looked better than its original state. Then again he was in richer area and had yet to see what became of the outliers. He could see the palace from afar, beckoning him to proceed.

The illusion he had cast upon himself to appear as an ordinary citizen remained up and running. Ardyn knew though he was on limited time. Having tested the ability before setting foot past the city check points, he gave himself a day to morph into another. In the past he could go several days appearing as someone else before the magic would fizzle out, and he’d have to rest and recoup. Now, it was even less than. A few hours at most. He didn’t understand it, how he was supposed to accomplish whatever the Astrals prophesized when he had been struck down in power. Maybe though, maybe it was a fail safe. To keep him at bay so he wouldn’t try attempting to kill the Gods again. He furrowed his brows. Caelan would’ve had a good theory for that, or at best an alternative perspective.

Caelan. He was about to take a step but stopped. Crowds of people walked past him. Ardyn could hear construction going on in the foreground. The noises of cars and small talk permeating the air. The bouquet of scents that whiffed off nearby foods at restaurants. All of it hit him at once. Life. Even when its been reduced to ash, a piece of something always survives.

There was still so much he wanted to see and do.

Ardyn had thought he had experienced enough of the world, but when he really took in the grand picture of what he endured since Verstael found him on Angelgard, he never truly lived to make up for the time he had been caged. He spent years scheming and building his way to the top of a precipice, only to jump off, never enjoying the journey but rather speeding through to the outcome desired.

He thought of the men in his former existence as chancellor. Verstael, Aldercapt, Ravus, and Serpo. People whom Ardyn used as pawns but admired in his own way. They all had a similar theme: each of them ambitious during their young years. They worked themselves to death chasing impossible goals at the expense of their youth, families, and humanity. Ardyn watched them grow old and their bodies become frail, never giving up the chase. They wasted so much time being angry, and carnally desiring power that would never befall them, that they never appreciated what was right in front of them. Aldercapt in particular.

Pulling the strings of the old man had been easy for Ardyn as he grew into power. Ledolas was so terrified by death, from the loss of his wife and son, that he was easily swayed to the point where he barely comprehended he still had a piece of his loved ones left in the form of his granddaughter. Aldercapt wasted his life in pursuit of immortality. Something Ardyn would've never allowed another human to bear. Though he dangled the carrot in front of the horse and led him astray, Ardyn knew Aldercapts lust for conquering death would've led him to his fate even if he had never plucked the emperors strings.

For the first time, Ardyn was truly able to grasp he was repeating their mistakes. Though he was immortal and couldn’t suffer the consequences of his actions, his heart could take the brunt.

Ardyn didn’t want to waste his life. Immortal or living on borrowed time.

There was still so much he wanted to see and do.

Ardyn glanced around, taking in a few deep breaths. He wasn’t one to get anxious, especially when amongst a huge group. The sensations his body underwent was foreign to himself. His knees wanted to give out, breathing becoming more irregular. His heart became erratic, and his right hand reached to touch at the spot on his chest. That's when his thumb subconsciously ran over the patch of scar tissue where the Behemoth gouged him. He couldn’t help but pull back the collar of his shirt, looking down. Trace remnants of where Caelan had touched him, where she had healed him remained. He swallowed.

He was terrified of what was to come.

He was unsure of why he was following the whims of the Astrals in the first place--or whatever brought him back--given how much he despised them and strongly advocated for his own free will.

He could care less about Noctis, Eos, all of it.

He couldn’t do this without her.

Ardyn forced his eyes to cast a final look over of the palace from afar. He turned his head back in the direction of where he had come from. He was so close to being done with this foolishness. To hopefully get answers and rest in peace. His mind told him to proceed, leave everything behind much like he did before on his conquest for vengeance. His body however, his heart, beckoned him to take another approach.

“Damn it.” Ardyn closed his eyes, sighing through his nose. He turned away from the palace and took his leave. His feet began to tread more quickly while he ran past people, shoving some out of the way.

As he treaded through the sea of people that called Insomnia their home, Ardyn’s mind was scrambling. Trying in vain to come up with a list of apologies, gifts, and actions he could take to rectify what happened. He knew he royally screwed things up, and he knew Caelan was in no position to forgive him nor want him around, but he had to try. He had to do something.

He loved her. He loved her so much it hurt not being around.

#immortal shield #ardyn lucis caelum #ardyn #ardyn izunia #ffxv #final fantasy xv #fanfic #fanfiction #original characters #the epiphany this mother fucker needed for a LONG time #dont care if its ooc #its called growth

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