#its gary holt...

[kenpiercemedia]

Slayer Adds One Final Date to its Summer Festival Itinerary

Slayer Adds One Final Date to its Summer Festival Itinerary

The Press Release: Last week, Slayer – Tom Araya, Kerry King, Gary Holt, and Paul Bostaph – announced that they plan to return to the concert stage for the first time since they concluded their Final World Tour in November 2019, to headline two summer festivals, Riot Fest and Louder Than Life. Today, the band announces they’ve added one last U.S. 2024 festival date, headlining the Aftershock…

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

NERVOSA Announces New Album 'Jailbreak'

Thrash metallers NERVOSA will release their fifth full-length album, "Jailbreak", on September 29 via Napalm Records. This will be the first NERVOSA LP with guitarist and founding member Prika Amaral on vocal duties, and it will showcase the band's new lineup completed by Michaela Naydenova on drums, Hel Pyre on bass and Helena Kotina on guitars.

Following the standalone single "Endless Ambition" with "Seed Of Death", NERVOSA serves up a second taste of what's to come. Starting off with a beautiful, epic intro, "Seed Of Death" features philosophical lyrics that explore questions about the never-ending cycle of life, grabbing an omnipresent issue relevant to all of us.

Amaral on the new single and album: "I'm very happy with the result of this song and our new album. I always wanted to have a song like this but it never happened for different reasons and now we can finally make it happen. Also, we were able to take even more risks and do new things. With two guitars, the doors open to a whole new world of possibilities. In fact NERVOSA had two guitars in the beginning, but then we decided to go with one guitar for logistical reasons, since it would be easier to move with one less person for tours. Now NERVOSA has a much bigger structure that allowed this addition, and we are really enjoying this moment of the band. The process of writing this record was the most fun and brought the most musicality, enriching the band."

Kotina adds: "I think 'Jailbreak' is NERVOSA's most revolutionary record, both musically and lyrically. It was a very challenging process but at the same time very constructive. We were able to take care of every detail until we obtained the best result."

Among its various themes, "Jailbreak" explores messages of breaking free from everyone and everything holding you back from doing exactly what you want to do. It encourages the listener to be proud of who they are, and to trust in themselves and the strength that lies within them. The album kicks off with charging "Endless Ambition", a track previously released in early 2023 that acted as a first harbinger for everything that is about to come on the album. The track immediately showcases the incredibly powerful attitude and talent of Amaral as frontwoman. Raging "Suffocare", which deals with several aspects of toxic relationships, and "Ungrateful" continue on the path of the intense opening track. Relentless title track "Jailbreak" attacks with a thrash metal chorus and roaring guitar solos. As a very special treat, NERVOSA spices up the intense track "When The Truth Is A Lie" with none other than an impressive guest contribution from legendary EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, while INFECTED RAIN/DEATH DEALER UNION vocalist Lena Scissorhands provides another strong guest feature by lending her voice on "Superstition Failed". "Elements Of Sin" features some of the album's most insane guitar work and thundering vocals, before uncontrollable closing track "Nail The Coffin" seals the 13-track album with a forceful thrash banger.

In true NERVOSA style, the album's lyrical themes comment on our society in a direct, critical manner, with messages delivered through intensely fast-twitching, raw soundscapes. On "Jailbreak", the band continues their powerful collaboration with Martin Furia, who produced the four-piece's successful previous records.

"Jailbreak" track listing:

01. Endless Ambition 02. Suffocare 03. Ungrateful 04. Seed Of Death 05. Jailbreak 06. Sacrifice 07. Behind The Wall 08. Kill Or Die 09. When The Truth Is A Lie (feat. Gary Holt) 10. Superstition Failed (feat. Lena Scissorhands) 11. Gates To The Fall 12. Elements Of Sin 13. Nail The Coffin

NERVOSA 2023 is:

Prika Amaral - Vocals and guitars Helena Kotina - Guitars Hel Pyre - Bass Michaela Naydenova - Drums

Photo credit: Gregory Dourtounis

[anissapierce]

Michael holts lvls of power go past fanfic oc gary stu n into cant even be mad at it bc its so ridiculous for someone tht age to accomplish tht much tht it becomes fun. The son that was in his wifes womb when she died in a car crash was stolen by a supervillian n he eventually saves him. This is not the first time that he has seen his unborn son in history. I love how dc has just leaned into bringing all the kid sidekicks back n adding new ones...

[teemoonley]

Kill The Kardashians T-Shirt

The Kill The Kardashians Shirt, popularized by Slayer and Exodus guitarist Gary Holt, is a provocative statement piece designed for those frustrated by celebrity culture. First seen in 2015, this black shirt boldly displays "Kill The Kardashians" in stark white letters.

Holt created the shirt to express his disdain for individuals gaining fame without notable achievements. It's a striking and direct form of social commentary, sparking conversations and solidifying its place in pop culture.

🧺 See it, want it? Click here: TeeMoonley

[theultimatefan]

Henry Ties Home Run Record, Diekman Retires as a Saltdog: Ten Things to Know in the American Association This Week

The impending shattering of the league home run record, an MLB organization signing and community connections highlight the American Association of Professional Baseball (@AA_Baseball) news as the calendar flips into June over the weekend.

Here are 10 (or so) Things to Know about the AAPB this week:

Big home run hitters tend to hit theirs in bunches, so expect Sioux Falls Canaries DH Jabari Young to get his AAPB record-smashing 147th home run soon. He had taters in three straight games a couple of weeks ago and two in three games the past few days to tie the mark. The Canaries helped urge him on with a special $1.46 GA ticket at The Birdcage on Tuesday (which saw Cleburne “handle” the slugger by walking him three times).

Another week, another MLB organization signing, as Peyton Holt of the Kansas City Monarchs was inked by the Reds after making the Monarchs following an open tryout last month. And he went out in style, delivering a walk-off single in his final at-bat for KC on Saturday

For every coming, there’s a going, and 13-year Major Leaguer Jake Diekman announced his retirement on Friday. The Nebraska native wrapped up his pro career as a Lincoln Saltdog. In a social media post, he thanked the team for “...letting me finish living my dream out at home.”

Connecting with the community is what AAPB Baseball is all about – epitomized by last week’s visit by two Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks to Eagles Elementary School in Fargo.

Sometimes those connections happen at the ballpark – case in point: fifth-graders from Lincoln Public Schools were a big part of the Saltdogs’ game vs. Kansas City on Tuesday, singing the anthem, announcing and even “mini-managing.”

Milwaukee Mayor Erik Brooks announced that “South Milwaukee Day” will be held on August 19 when the Milkmen host Kansas City,“to provide an occasion for locals to bond over baseball and celebrate their hometown heritage.”

When AAPB teams say “relief” they usually mean a fire-breathing righty or lefty coming into quell a rally. But tonight Oak Brook, Ill.,-based mental health provider Relief Mental Health will call attention to the conclusion of Mental Health Awareness month in May with a visit to Kane County for the Cougars’ game with Winnipeg. RMH is the exclusive mental health sponsor of the evening.

Life Navigators, an amazing Milwaukee-area based organization providing opportunities, disability resources, and services for children with intellectual and developmental disabilities, will be the “Featured Charity Partnership of the Game” on Wednesday when the Milkmen take on Lincoln at Franklin Field

Some of this week’s notable promotions across the league include:

Kansas City will hold First Responders Night on Friday

Kane County celebrates the new A Minecraft Movie release with a themed cap giveaway

Staying with the pop culture theme, Kansas City is returning to its Taylor Era for a night and rebranding the team to the Kansas Swiftie Monarchs on Saturday

A Fargo Salute to Public Service presented by The City of Fargo at Fargo-Moorhead on Tuesday, followed by Military Appreciation Night presented by the West Fargo Chamber of Commerce on Wednesday

Sunday is Strike Out Cancer Day presented by Erspamer Plumbing at Lake County, with free tickets to cancer survivors and support and awareness programs all day, The Dockhounds will follow up with First Responders Night on Tuesday

Sioux City celebrates agriculture with its second annual Ag Night on Saturday then embraces Faith & Family Day on Sunday

Sioux Falls will also hold a Faith & Family Day on Wednesday

Saturday is Country Night at the Gary SouthShore RailCats

The Milkmen will break out their Lecheros de Milwaukee gear on Sunday in partnership with Mexican Fiesta, celebrating Latino and Hispanic heritage

Media interest in AAPB remains strong. Some of the recent articles on teams include:

Yahoo! Sports picked up a Cleburne Times-Review feature on Railroaders first baseman Kyle Martin, a former Winnipeg Goldeye (2019-21) who returned to the league with Cleburne this year after some time with the San Diego Padres’ AAA team in El Paso and south of the border in the Mexican League.

1011Now featured Griffin Everitt’s jump from selling cars to Lincoln Saltdogs catcher – a journey that included a homer in the pro debut for the Lincoln native and University of Nebraska alum on Tuesday.

The Philadelphia Inquirer is keeping tabs on ‘08 Phillies World Series winner Chris Coste, now managing the Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks.

JR Radcliffe of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel continues to cover the AAPB, chronicling Fargo-Moorhead announcer Jack Michaels’s “Marge, track that ball down” call of a Dillon Thomas home run on May 16 vs. the host Lake Country DockHounds following the death of Marge, Michaels’s mother, that morning. His “Track it down, Marge!” call over the years has made Marge famous.

Retiring anchor Carolyn Long at KCTV-TV in Kansas City threw out the first pitch at the Monarchs’ game on Tuesday.

NJ.com Yankees beat writer Randy Miller featured former Monarch and current Bronx Bomber backup backstop J.C. Escarra, noting his trip through KCK on his way to the bigs.

Popular Chicagoland “Mommy blog” Mommy Poppins suggests Chicagolanders go to a Dogs or Cougars game on their Summer Bucket List

[cavenewstimestoday]

“When we did the final Slayer show for 60,000 people, Scott Ian used it as his primary tone”: Gary Holt's favorite budget pedal emulates Eddie Van Halen's iconic “Brown Sound” – and it retails for less than a $100

Gary Holt may be one of the most recognizable names in thrash metal – but that doesn’t mean the Exodus and Slayer pioneer doesn’t appreciate or own budget effects pedals. In fact, Mooer Audio – known for its pedals’ road-proof casings, small footprint, and affordability – is one of Holt’s top brands when it comes to analog pedals. “Dude, the Mooer pedals are some of the best pedals I own,” he…

[metaladdicts]

JEFF HANNEMAN's Widow Shares Her Opinion On SLAYER Reunion

Kathryn Hanneman, the widow of SLAYER‘s late guitarist Jeff Hanneman, has voiced support for the band’s choice to regroup this autumn for a few headline performances at festivals, marking five years since SLAYER concluded its “farewell” tour. After concluding their last world tour in November 2019, the band, comprising Tom Araya (bass, vocals), Kerry King (guitar), Gary Holt (guitar), and Paul…

[thephotopitmagazine]

SLAYER ANNOUNCES ITS RETURN TO THE CONCERT STAGE

SLAYER ANNOUNCES ITS RETURN TO THE CONCERT STAGE Band Will Headline Main Stage Sets at Two Major Festivals Riot Fest • Louder Than Life     For the first time since the band wrapped the last concert of its Final World Tour back in November 2019, Slayer – Tom Araya/ bass & vocals, guitarists Kerry King and Gary Holt, and Paul Bostaph on drums – announce they will return to the stage this fall,…

[thekillogiceffect-blog]

SLAYER ANOUNCE 2024 REUNION

SLAYER has officially reunited and will return to the live stage in September. For the first time since the band wrapped the last concert of its world tour back in November 2019, SLAYER — Tom Araya (bass, vocals),Kerry King (guitar),Gary Holt (guitar) and Paul Bostaph (drums) — will return to the stage this fall, headlining two major festivals, Riot Fest and Louder Than Life. Sep. 22 - Riot Fest - Chicago, IL Sep. 27 - Louder Than Life - Louisville, KY GET TICKETS: https://www.slayer.net/ #music #news #reaction https://louderthanlifefestival.com/ https://riotfest.org/ Source: https://blabbermouth.net/news/its-off... My Social Media: patreon.com/thekillogiceffect https://www.twitch.tv/thekillogiceffect https://www.reddit.com/user/TheKillog... https://www.tumblr.com/thekillogiceff.. thekillogiceffect.weebly.com https://www.facebook.com/thekillogice... twitter.com/KillogicFilth vk.com/thekillogicefect

[kenpiercemedia]

Slayer Announces Their Return to the Concert Stage

The Press Release: For the first time since the band wrapped the last concert of its Final World Tour back in November 2019, Slayer – Tom Araya/ bass & vocals, guitarists Kerry King and Gary Holt, and Paul Bostaph on drums – announce they will return to the stage this fall, headlining two major festivals, Riot Fest and Louder Than Life. Continue reading Slayer Announces Their Return to the…

[the-rippers]

[someguywriting]

Gary Holt + Kirk Hammett, plus various others

[rebelrayne]

[⭐] = faves | Hamish is listed under Season 6

take a risk | henrik | teen | alternate universe [a gift for @/justtuesdays]

Isabel Romero had never taken a single risk in her entire life. But when she finds an incomplete bucket list, she's determined to prove that she can be adventurous and spontaneous. With the help of her best friends, Shannon and Henrik, she's ready to cross off the last three items, come castle or behind a waterfall.

we do but friends don't | bobby | teen | villa

“I don’t want to do this,” Jordyn said, her voice cracking with every syllable. She’d grown to be fond of all four of the people standing there, although she was most definitely closer with Lottie, Gary and Bobby. Truth be told, she liked the old Hannah better than the one standing in front of her. Hannah seemed less than genuine when she returned and it only angered Jordyn to see her with Bobby when he deserved the world.

[⭐] but lately... | seb | teen | villa

Seb isn't overly emotional. He's not a sticky sweet guy who loves a big romantic gesture, or someone who would pick up a bouquet of roses on the way home. But lately... There's something about Valerie.

ho ho ho or whatever | seb | teen | alternate universe [a gift for @/whatisreggieshortfor]

Inside the bustling, busy city of Liverpool, there comes a tale you certainly never learned in school. A record store sits on Paul Street in the heart of the town, and here, my dear reader, is where the start of our story is found. Ask any of the townsfolk, they’ll tell you the same: “There’s no place like home by the fire on Christmas Day!” All the windows of the stores are flocked with care, but there sat one store with its window display bare.

[⭐] 11:59 pm | tom | teen | post-villa [a gift for @/0shewrites0]

He starts to walk over, his heart rate racing faster with every step closer. He pulls his phone out and peeks at the time. 11:59 pm. It’s almost time. He had a speech prepared, but it’s since been wiped from his memory. He cannot remember even one syllable of that speech.

hey sweetheart | oliver | teen | post-villa [a gift for @/queen-of-boops]

When Oliver sends Maeve on a scavenger hunt on her birthday, she's led by familiar faces and letters Oliver wrote to his future wife.

model santa | youcef | teen | alternate universe [a gift for @/whatisreggieshortfor]

Santa isn't real, right? But if that's the case, why is he claiming to be Youcef's father?

part of our world | tom | teen | alternate (disney) universe

The town of Villa Rosa, North Carolina seems like a normal place. The people live ordinary lives, the kids go to school like anywhere else, but the truth? It’s the most evil, vile place in the world. The Disney characters were ripped from their stories and sent to the one place where they no longer had their happy endings: our world.

someone better suited | dylan | teen | villa/post-villa

Dallas Holt is down on his luck but when he has the opportunity to enter the Love Island Villa in exchange for $20,000? He’d be stupid not to take it. The only catch? He’s not entering as himself; he’s entering as “Dylan.”

sterling mckenzie, inc. | valentina | teen | alternate universe

Welcome to Sterling McKenzie, Inc. Paper Company, where career dreams go to die! But at least the boss is cool, right?

the other side | james | teen | alternate universe

Was it really happening? He had to have been dreaming. He wasn’t big, rugged and buff like Hazeem. He couldn’t be cool and collected like Kobi. He’d never be as handsome as Dylan. There’s no way he could ever be charming or suave like Youcef… He was just… him?

define: falling | hamish | mature | alternate universe [a gift for thesepromises]

falling /ˈfôliNG/ verb 1 : to descend freely by the force of gravity. 2 : to come by chance. 3 : to pass suddenly and passively into a state of body or mind. Serena Wallace hates Hamish Kent… Or maybe she’s falling in love with him.

end game | elliot | mature | villa [a gift for @/mrsbsmooth]

For those of you following along at home, this is the part of the story where the female love interest rejects the male protagonist so harshly, he should recoil and retire to a life of loneliness and solitude. But lucky for us… Elliot is two things: one, he can’t take a hint when slapped in the face with it, and two, he hates to lose when he doesn’t understand what went wrong.

[⭐] fast car | hamish| teen | villa [finale night rewrite]

Acacia had the opportunity through his television screen to make him fall harder and harder without lifting a finger. He watched her look across the lawn and twist her face into the most hideous expressions– nose scrunched, tongue poked out, eyes crossed– but Andy didn’t laugh. The time she ran onto the challenge platform and did a clumsy cartwheel only to fall flat on her bum as she fell into a fit of giggles– Andy didn’t laugh. How she would create a different facial expression on pancakes every morning, hoping for even a faint tug at his lips– Andy didn’t laugh... But Hamish did.

[⭐] holidate | hamish | mature | alternate universe [a gift for @/caitkaminski]

When Cece Singh gets the idea from her Aunt Priya to bring a Holidate to all of their holidays, she knows just the right guy for the job. The only rules? 1) You'll be one another's plus one as long as you're single. 2) Leave no Holidate behind. 3) No catching feelings.

let's play | elliot | mature | alternate universe [a gift for @/whatisreggieshortfor]

Elliot lifts his head slowly, his Adam's apple bobbing as if he was swallowing every inch of his fears. Flipping a switch, his expression quickly turns mischievous – a crooked smirk she’s never seen on his face and that bloody dimple on the left that she’s always wanted to press her lips to. “Well, I’m not one to back out of a game.” His voice is smooth as velvet, another first in hearing his tone sound so alluring. He quirks a brow, hand cupping her face as he leans in close enough for his scent to surround her in a dizziness that could only be cured by his lips on hers. “I do quite like to win, as long as you want to play?”

sinderella | hamish | explicit | alternate universe

He tugs her into the cloakroom, quickly pressing her back to the closed door. His fingertips delicately trace her jawline as his lips pull into a wicked smile. It should be a crime how intoxicating the scent of lemon and bergamot is on his skin. Leaning in, he dips his head, kissing her neck and sending a shiver down her spine. Greedy hands grip into her waist and yank her into him as he whispers into her ear, “So does Cinderella have a name?”

[⭐️] the checklist | ivy | mature | post-villa

When Ivy gets dumped from Love Island, Nicky and Seb invite her on Doom & Gloom to explain her checklist and where each of the criteria came from.

[vinylspinning]

Exodus: Tempo of the Damned (2004)

Given up for dead a decade earlier, the mighty Exodus -- the original kings of Bay Area thrash -- made a welcome return to action in 2004 with the release of their pun-loving sixth studio album, Tempo of the Damned. 

But what at one point might have been a near-complete reunion of the seminal Bonded by Blood line-up was tragically thwarted with the 2002 death of vocalist Paul Baloff, from a stroke at age 41. 

Thankfully, Baloff’s original replacement, Steve ‘Zetro’ Souza (who sang on the classic Fabulous Disaster) was both ready and willing to step into the breach, alongside founding members Gary Holt (guitar), Tom Hunting (drums), a returning Rick Hunolt (guitar), and new man Jack Gibson (bass).

Even better, Tempo of the Damned didn’t disappoint, musically speaking; in fact, it pretty much behaved as though 1992’s wildly experimental Force of Habit never happened (though I personally liked that album quite a bit) in order to turn in a performance that was 99% vintage Exodus.

Yes, all of the band’s beloved hallmarks are here, including biting, sarcastic lyrics, Hunting’s incomparable drum fills, plus the jagged precision riffs and blistering leads that made Holt and Hunolt thrash metal’s tightest, most fearsome six-string duo this side of Slayer’s Hanneman and King.

Meaning that, whether you were a returning mosh-pit veteran or a next-generation enthusiast, there was little room for complaint about model metallic citizens like “Blacklist” and “Forward March," or even next level fare like “Scar Spangled Banner” and “Shroud of Urine,” 

There’s even a dusted-off demo called “Impaler,” co-written by original member Kirk Hammett (ever heard of him?), and this vinyl reissue adds a cover of AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.”

About the only deviation from the band’s classic formula comes in the shape of Souza’s more varied vocal styles -- specifically a less whiny, full-throated, quasi-death metal roar put to utmost effect on the album’s unchallenged standout, “War is My Shepherd.”

Alas, Tempo of the Damned’s second half wasn’t quite as stellar as its first, and merely decent efforts like “Sealed with a Fist” and “Throwing Down” will remind old timers of the inexplicable mediocrity that once afflicted momentum-killing albums like Pleasures of the Flesh and the deplorable Impact Is Imminent.

But the furious fireworks of the title track and “Culling the Herd” bucked this negative trend and erased any doubt about Tempo of the Damned’s successful resurrection of Exodus as the potent and formidable thrash machine of old ... too bad it wouldn’t last. 

p.s. -- Most of these words originated in my All-Music Guide review of Exodus’ Tempo of the Damned.

More Exodus: Bonded by Blood, Pleasures of the Flesh, Fabulous Disaster. 

[forbidding-souda]

Yo Mod Souda! How are you?? (ﾉﾞ⌯'⌄'⌯)ﾉﾞ*。⋆💓

Helllo!! I'm speedwriting again. Extremely extremely bored right now - i'm staying with my grandparents bc my grandma is sick (she's fine) rn and they're not home so I'm like?? in this house alone and it's like UGH. I finished two books since I've been here.

I can tell you about my grandparents. They're white (i'm mixed) and ever since my dad got with a native american twenty years ago my grandma has been reading books about our tribes and its history (and she still orders books about it) and whenever she comes over she reads the native books my mom has. My mom uses the spare room as a library, and she collects books about our tribe. And ever since i came out as gay (4? years ago), my grandma has now been reading books about queer history. My grandpa is retired now (and his birthday was yesterday!!) and he's just taking care of my grandma. She just got her leg removed because of cigarettes so she has a prosthetic she's learning to walk with. My grandpa worked in the AC business or whatever for liek forty years - he got like a masters in ac unit construction. They've owned this house since my dad was 1, so it's an old + clustered house. My grandma is 1st generation german american. and my grandpa is just liek celtic white. it's funny actually because the celtic white genes makes my dad, who had very dark brown hair, have a blond + red beard. And even now, my mustache is blonde and I have!?!?! black hair. Idk how that works but. if i can ever grow a beard i'll do a beard reveal (i kinda got the johnny depp facial hair going on while my dad has the gary holt).

-Mod Souda

[encounterthepast]

If you enjoy this please follow @RussInCheshire on twitter for his regular threads on UK politics.

As it’s the weekend, let’s start #TheWeekInTory with a frivolous and jolly story about our own govt deliberately starving hundreds of thousands of children...

1. In May, Boris Johnson promised “nobody will go hungry as a result of Coronavirus”

2. He then denied school meals to the 600,000 poorest children

3. So Marcus Rashford ran a campaign to get the govt to feed children, which - just think about that: he had to *campaign* for it

4. Then Boris Johnson congratulated Rashford on his campaign to overturn the cruel policies of, erm, Boris Johnson

5. And then 3 days later, Boris Johnson refused to feed those kids during school holidays

6. So this week Labour organised a parliamentary vote about it

7. And 322 Tories voted against feeding hungry children

8. Vicky Ford, the Children’s Minister (who you’ll be surprised to hear neither looks nor sounds like a ludicrous Dickensian villain) went ahead and voted against feeding children

9. Tory MP Jo Gideon voted against feeding children. Jo Gideon, in case you didn't think things could get any more unbelievable, is also the chair of "Feeding Britain", a charity that campaigns to end food poverty and hunger in the UK.

10. Tory MP Paul Scully waved away the grumbling parents of kids with grumbling tummies, and said “children have been going hungry under Labour for years”, seemingly forgetting Tories have been in power for a decade

11. Tory MP Ben Bradley, who once had to apologise for suggesting sterilising the poor, said feeding children will simply “increase their dependency”. On food. Yeah, wean the little bastards off it. It’ll do them good in the end, which will be around 3 agonising weeks.

12. At this point, pause to consider that MPs get their food and drink subsidised. A £31 meal in a parliamentary restaurant costs MPs £3.45. In 2018 this subsidy cost the taxpayer £4.4m. I can’t find any record of Tories like Ben Bradley voting against this.

13. Pressing on: Ben Bradley also said “Some parents prioritise other things ahead of their kids. Small minority, yes... but some do”. Yes, and a small minority of Tory MPs have been arrested for rape. Should we send them all to prison?

14. Also, Mark Francois voted (by proxy) to keep kids hungry. Not related to the previous item. Why would you think that?

15. Tory MP Nicky Morgan said the govt voted to starve 600,000 children cos a Labour MP called a Tory MP scum. And that’s not a scummy thing to do at all.

16. Tory MP David Simmonds said Marcus Rashford’s experience of poverty in secondary school “took place entirely under a Labour government”. Rashford was 11 when Tories came into power, making David Simmonds are rare example of an ad hominem attack on yourself

17. Simmonds then said Labour’s parliamentary vote was “all about currying favour with wealth and power and celebrity status”. He might be right – the govt managed to unify Gary Linaker and Nigel Farage in condemnation of their denial of food to kids

18. Brandan Clark-Smith (who voted to starve kids) demanded “more action to tackle the real causes of child poverty”

19. So at once, the govt cut minimum wage for furloughed people. They now get 2/3 of the money the govt says is the absolute minimum it is possible to survive on

20. And then it was revealed that low-paid workers who have to isolate due to Covid can claim £500. Yay!

21. But if they’re told to isolate by the govt’s contact tracing app, they can’t claim anything. Un-yay.

22. Long story short: the govt cannot spend £120m feeding children. But it can spend £522 on the Eat Out Scheme, which its own report said contributed “negligible amounts” to the hospitality economy, and Boris Johnson admitted drove up infection rates – especially in the North

23. Those infection rates caused the govt to move Manchester into Tier 3

24. So the Mayor of Manchester asked for a £90m support package (1/6th of the money the govt spent causing the problem in the first place)

25. The govt said no, £60m

26. The Mayor said, how about £65m?

27. The govt said no, £60m

28. The Mayor said ok, fine, we’ll take the £60m

29. And then govt offered Manchester £22m, and then went to the press and said the Mayor was "being unreasonable"

30. The negotiations were led by Robert Jenrick, who recently set up a fund for the poorest 101 towns, then awarded his town £25m even though it is the 270th poorest, and therefore not even eligible

31. £25m is £237 per person

32. Manchester gets £7.85 per person

33. Robert Jenrick gave Manchester (2.8 million people) £22m

34. Robert Jenrick gave Richard Desmond (1 person) £45m

35. The talks broke down when the govt wouldn’t spend an extra £5m

36. The govt plans to spend £7m vitally rebranding "Highways England" to "National Highways"

37. Manchester Young Conservatives tweeted “Boris has lied about helping us in the North. It’s time for him to go". Don't look - they deleted it. Suspect somebody had a word.

38. Meanwhile the govt said Manchester will get the £60m after all, and chaos continue to reign supreme

39. But that £60m is brief reprieve for the Tories of Manchester, as a govt report said Tory seats in the North of England (the so-called "Red Wall" seats) can expect to lose at least 4000 jobs *each* as a result of Brexit, even if we do get a deal. More if we don't.

40. The govt rushed to begin its first airport Coronavirus testing, a mere 211 days after mandatory airport testing was begun in South Korea

41. South Korea has had 8 deaths per million

42. The UK has had 665 deaths per million

43. More airport news, as the govt finally accepted Brexit will cause “up to 8-hour delays at passport checks” and asked the EU to allow UK citizens to queue at EU-only lanes. Like we did when we were in the EU. But we aren’t now. So tough.

44. A senior diplomat said, “Having grown up in Brussels, Boris Johnson values the ability to travel freely to the continent”. You’d think Boris Johnson would foresee this problem when he led the campaign to stop that freedom.

45. The independent reviewer of Terrorism Legislation said the UK “will be increasingly unable to cope” after Brexit, as we lose access to EU data-sharing agreements

46. And a No-Deal end to UK/EU scientific collaboration will leave London with a £3bn annual deficit

47. In the space of 38 days, the govt announced the £100bn "Operation Moonshot" to solve Covid; then cancelled it; and then re-launched it again after it was found they’d accidentally continued to pay over 200 private consultants up to £7000 a day to work on it.

48. So this week, Boris Johnson said Moonshot would continue, but it’s goals “would take time”, which is the literal opposite of what he said it would do when it first announced it, and makes the entire thing absolutely pointless

49. And now it’s been admitted that Operation Moonshot would be quietly folded into the existing £12bn Test and Trace programme, and the £100bn has vanished. Apart from the bits the Serco consultants took for doing… nothing.

50. But Boris Johnson said the Test and Trace programme was “helping a bit”, and “a bit” is the least you’d expect if you’d spent £12bn

51. And then the £12bn Test and Trace programme fell to its lowest success rate so far, identifying only 60% of at-risk people

52. Local councils, with no additional funding, are tracing 98% of cases

53. A quick sweep though other epic successes you may have missed (or deliberately blocked out): Equalities minister Kemi Badenoch declared that it should be illegal to teach about inequality

54. The Cabinet Secretary said the report into “vicious and orchestrated” bullying by Home Secretary and Dementor Priti Patel “may never see the light of day”, cos if you have a report that vindicates you, you definitely sit on it as long as possible

55. And the appeals court unanimously overturned Priti Patel’s policy of removing people from the UK without giving them access to legal process or justice because – and I’m paraphrasing the judges here – what the fuck, Patel? What the actual fuck?

56. Undeterred, she announced plans to make rough-sleeping “grounds for removal of permission to be in the UK” and "denial of legal aid". So if you’re too poor to have a home, you must pay for a lawyer or she’ll shove you in the sea

57. After an unnamed Tory MP said it “looks bad to be handing top jobs to your friend and old boss”, Charles Moore, Boris Johnson’s friend and old boss, withdrew as next BBC chair.

58. The new favourite is Richard Sharp, the - yep - friend and old boss of Rishi Sunak

59. You’ll be amazed to hear this: Richard Sharp is a major donor to the Tory party. These little coincidences keep on happening

60. The govt decided to prevent EU citizens from having physical proof of their right to live in their own home

61. Grant Shapps threatened to “seize control of Transport for London” to save it from financial ruin at the hands of Sadiq Khan, who – the bastard - achieved a mere 71% reduction in the debts caused by his noble predecessor, Boris Johnson

62. Matt Hancock, facts at his fingertips, told MPs from Yorkshire their constituents could go on holiday abroad

63. But not in the UK

64. And then that they CAN go on holiday in the UK

65. But can't leave Yorkshire

66. He then said “I'll get back to you” about the details

67. A cross-party report found “the UK’s foreign policy is adrift”, that it lacks “clarity, confidence and vision” and that Britain is “absent from the world stage”. All of which is very soothing, as we move into the govt's proclaimed goal of a post-Brexit Global Britain.

68. And we can all relax: the govt is finally supporting culture in the UK, specifically the Nevill Holt Opera, which performs private operas, and is owned by Boris Johnson’s friend (and - jaw on floor! - Tory donor) David Ross, who is worth £700m so really needs the money.

69. The Nevill Holt Opera only functions in the summer, so thank god it has been prioritised with £85,000 to “maintain operations” in October.

And now, in honour of the opera, the fat lady can sing, cos I’m off to drink myself into oblivion. Join me.

We live in interesting times.