#its happy don't worry it just made me want to die for ten different reasons

[pseudophan]

ficrec this fucked me up

[like-rain-or-confetti]

i know you dont write about twilight anymore but if u are willing to answer this

Do u think mates are chosen?

Ah fuck it why not.

So I'll start by saying this is a topic of debate for me.

So, Canon wise, I think they're chosen. I believe a relationship develops strong enough that a vampire sees their mate and chooses them as a 'you. You're the one. You're the love of my life. I want to spend eternity with you.' This is seemingly how it works.

And I don't dig it. For no other reason, the likelihood, in my opinion. This is probably because I'm a human in the real world. I think a lot, if not everyone who has ever been in love has this moment. They find someone and know this person is the one. Maybe they'll get married and have kids. All with the idea that they'll be together until they die. This doesn't always happen. People get divorced. People have kids thinking it'll somehow miraculously save their relationship and most come away with the conclusion that if you spend your whole life with one person then you were lucky and you two were so good at overcoming hurdles along the way because relationships are always requiring work.

So with this being said, these great loves like Carlisle and Esme, Marcus and Didyme, etc. All will constantly need work. All will have periods of difficulty, and they will have to actively force themselves to fight for their relationship over and over again as the world changes around them throughout time and people like me would then have to wonder...when did it turn into forcing yourselves to stay together in the hopes this will miraculously fix itself?

I think most of us can agree that if someone a friend has spent a long period of time in a long-term relationship unhappy and actually forcing themselves to stay, the advice you'd give as a friend is to leave for both parties happiness.

That brings me to the alternative of mates not being chosen.

Let's not forget my bias as a fanfic writer who spent years writing twilight. 😂

So let me be clear, fated mates are so much easier to write. I'm not writing a full book with someone else's characters and taking a step by step process to those characters falling in love. Especially knowing that half of those characters wouldn't touch a human with a ten foot pole except for getting the munchies. I often wonder if it would be like falling in love with the turkey you have on the holidays or the lettuce in your salad. Why would a vampire fall for the food source? Well, that's a whole other rabbit hole, isn't it? I reckon there is some debate to be made on that. Anyway back to mates.

Oh but vanity why would the universe be so cruel give someone a mate only for them to be born millennia apart? Well, my lovelies, let me explain that too.

Anyone else ever wonder if you could relate to anyone in the 1800s even if your lives are vastly different? Well that's kinda similar to where I'm doing.

It's the whole idea that the universe isn't cruel, its just indifferent.

Some people you'll just click with more than others and if people from the dark ages were walking around among us, we'd probably get along with some. 🤷‍♀️

Plus, it tickles the romanticist in me. Wouldn't we all love to believe there's someone out there perfect for us?

It's like a dream but with a dose of reality that we can't guarantee we'll ever be alive at the same time as our true love or whatever.

Not to mention, it's very comforting if you feel like an outcast no? No worries if humanity is a bitch there's a gorgeous vampire who's been waiting 1000 years to find you! Yup, clears that right up 😂

This fated mates alternative -TO ME- irons out these questions of these relationships lasting forever without a hitch as written in the books. Carlisle and Esme will face hardship here and there, but for not one minute, will there ever be a doubt that they won't do it together. It's them against the world always, and they're happy and fulfilled for it. Their lives are complete in that regard, which is why it tears them apart from the inside when a vampire loses their mate. Another reason why a vampire can not keep their mate as human because they can't bear being without them, not that they've found them. Like tearing away a piece of yourself, knowingly. No one could choose that happily. So they don't. Benjamin snuck Tia away in the middle of the night, and the rest was history, Amun be damned. Benjamin needed Tia like we need air to breathe. It's simple in a complicated world.

I think I basically covered everything 🤔...as well as sucked my brain into the feeding/falling in love with humans rabbit hole.

Hope this was somewhat interesting!

P.S. I'm still dabbling with Twilight, but for the foreseeable future, I won't be taking requests. I can't make up my mind. So it's easier to say I'm not writing for it so I'm not getting hopes up because even if twilight consistently came back, i probably wouldn't take requests.

[ninbayphua]

八三夭 《盗墓笔记》 官方主题曲 《所信非神》 That In Which I Believe In Is Not God - ENG SUBS

So this is the first time I've actually properly translated and subtitled a song 😂 I tried to keep to the original wording as much as I could but there are few places where it's kinda vague or where the wording is just too awkward so I went with meaning or my own interpretation of the lyrics instead. 👀

List of Interpretations

1. 与宿命论个主臣 in a word for word translation would be "debating with Fate who is the master and who is the servant" which basically means they're fighting over superiority.

2. 当自己不死之身 is a really interesting one because 当 has 2 different meanings depending on which intonation is being used and this isn't always clear in songs cuz intonations get kinda murky in singing. Anyways, 'dāng' means to pretend whereas 'dàng' means to pawn. Since I interpreted this song as both from Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV I decided to include both potential interpretation in my subtitling. So it can either mean "pawning my immortality" in Xiao Ge's POV or "pretending I have an immortal body" in Wu Xie's case.

Song Overview (Wu Xie's & Xiao Ge's POV):

Ok I read the song as being from BOTH Wu Xie's and Xiao Ge's POV instead of just one but that's my personal interpretation @thosch3i covered most of Wu Xie's POV and my own interpretation of the lyrics are pretty similar so I'll elaborate from there. This is how the song goes for me:

I give you a look with lost innocence of days past and gone that's tucked away in forgetfulness. (This is without question Wu Xie speaking because of the play on words - Tian Zhen)

Let the sound of raindrops gloss over the unsolved questions, let the sharpest blade be sealed away for safekeeping in this instant when life is at its most peaceful (OK, this could be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge speaking to the other because both of them have a lot of unsolved questions: Wu Xie still doesn't know what happened to his San Shu and Xiao Ge is still looking for answers to his past. Both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie have been referred to as the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. In Wu Xie's case, it's when he lost his innocence and became 邪帝 in the Sha Hai era. Xiao Ge was shaped to be a weapon ever since he was a baby stolen from his mother so it goes without saying he is the sharpest blade of the Nine Gates. (There's a saying that Wu Xie ended up becoming like Xiao Ge and Li Cu becoming like Wu Xie during his Tian Zhen era which I think is a pretty accurate reading but a discussion for another time.) Basically, regardless of which of them that's speaking they're telling the other to let go of all the questions tormenting them and sealing away the past and the way they've been conditioned to become a weapon for the Nine Gates and just live peacefully in Rain Village from now on - I'm assuming this is post Sha Hai.

My death, my life, it's not up to the ghosts and gods to intervene (Honestly, this can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge depending. Both are very stubborn and don't believe in leaving things up to fate.)

a wait of ten years, I've long since stopped smiling, stopped crying, stopped feeling pain, challenging fate to see who is superior (This could be Xiao Ge but I read it as more Wu Xie because of Qin Hao's line in Sha Hai when Hei Ye said "I still feel a bit of pain from time to time" and Wu Xie just straight up said "I've stopped feeling pain a long time ago".)

Pawning my immortality / Pretending I have an immortal body, to leave for you a gateway of life, this life was not in vain. (This is probably my favourite line of the song because is so freakin beautifully written? The reason there's an either or translation for the line I've explained above so we're just gonna do meta here. OK so in Xiao Ge's POV he went to guard the Bronze Gates in Wu Xie's stead to protect him so he could live a happy life. Essentially he is exchanging his immortality for Wu Xie's life because it was initially Wu Xie's fate to guard the Bronze Gates and he'd probably die in the process. Xiao Ge's immortality for Wu Xie having a life of happiness and innocence is worth it to him. He is using his immortality in exchange for a way for Wu Xie to live by going behind those gates. Remember that line: 用我一生换你十年天真无邪 my life in exchange for ten years of your innocence? That's basically what I think they're referring to. The reversed applies. It's Xiao Ge's responsibility to keep the Wang clan in check. Since Xiao Ge sacrificed himself so Wu Xie could live the life he wanted, Wu Xie decided to do the same for Xiao Ge by getting rid of the Wangs completely so Xiao Ge could be free to live the life he wanted when he exited the gates. Wu Xie wasn't trained like Xiao Ge nor did he have an immortal body like the Zhangs or had their self healing and magical qilin blood but he will pretend that he has all of those and take on the Wangs , wiping them out to give Xiao Ge a way out of being used by the Nine Gates again when he exits the gates, giving him a chance to live the life he wants. Even if he knows he could potentially die doing this, it's still worth it to him. Remember that line after Xiao Ge's: 只愿尽我一世无邪换你百载浅笑无忧 emptying all of my entire life's innocence in exchange for a hundred years of your easy smiles and lack of worries? That's what I think the song is referring to.)

Not even for a day in my entire life have I ever believed in ghosts or gods, but I spent ten years believing in one person. Even if the world is too cold, there is still your lingering warmth in my heart, I'll still rush into the journey, no matter how unfathomable the wasteland or perilous the path, never questioning whether it's fortune or calamity. Honestly, in my entire life, I've never believed in gods, only believed in them. (This can be both Xiao Ge and Wu Xie because the only person Xiao Ge believes in is Wu Xie - and Pang Zi. Vice versa, the only person Wu Xie believes in is Xiao Ge - and Pang Zi. None of them believe in fate or ghosts or gods but they believe in each other and only each other. Wu Xie is Xiao Ge's only connection in the world - thus the lingering warmth in my hear bit - and I'm pretty sure Xiao Ge also holds a special spot in Wu Xie's heart during the Sha Hai era when he becomes a hardened man. We see that flash of Tian Zhen softness when he's talking to Li Cu about Xiao Ge and Pang Zi. He even admits at the time that he has an obsession: to pick up Xiao Ge when he exits the Bronze Gates and take him home. Also, PingXie is constantly rushing head first into danger for one another? Even Pang Zi made a comment on this in Ultimate Note after the sword gifting ceremony that when Xiao Ge lost his memories, Wu Xie accompanies him on his journey and helps him look for his lost memories; when Wu Xie is in danger or gets into trouble in his obsessive search for answers and his San Shu, Xiao Ge comes to his rescue. Even in Reunion, Xiao Ge says he'll follow Wu Xie on his journey to Thunder City in search of answers and his San Shu. Neither of them ever question whether it is fortune or calamity that will befall them on these journeys. They'll go through hell fire and high waters for each other regardless of consequences.)

Exchanging gazes, in it are new sprouts of innocence, all old hatred tossed and tucked away in forgetfulness. (Xiao Ge talking about Wu Xie - post Sha Hai, now that Xiao Ge is back and Wu Xie isn't emo anymore, we see a bit of his Tian Zhen coming back, Xiao Ge can probably see it too. The edges aren't gone but there are now some softness growing back. There are new sprouts of innocence in Wu Xie's eyes again.)

But there are still spirits to drink together, and extra cigarettes enough to share, if there's us and the rest of our lives, then it is the greatest of good dreams. That in which I believe in is not a god. Entrusting my life and soul to you with a smile on the wretched battlefield, even the gods of death themselves must submit under the sword, the world has too many uncertainties, only this is the sole surety. But even the sharpest blade is also mere flesh and blood, I wish to give him affection and to let him rest and recuperate. (This can be either Wu Xie or Xiao Ge referring to their retired life in Rain Village that having just us - the iron triangle - as well as the rest of our lives then it's the best dream come true they could wish for. Also, Wu Xie and Xiao Ge's only belief is in each other but neither sees the other as a god. Wu Xie is unarguably human and Wu Xie sees Xiao Ge as human instead of a weapon or a god so it works both ways. Both Wu Xie and Xiao Ge are considered to be the sharpest blades of the Nine Gates with a tendency to go against fate and death. In Xiao Ge's case even death must bow its head under his sword and abide by his rule whereas in Wu Xie's case he himself is the sword so to speak and that he has defied death so many times as well as planned the death of the Wangs that in a way, death is under his control and has to do this bidding. I think it's also referring to the saying 麒麟一笑，阎王绕道；天真一笑，麒麟开道 when the qilin - a.k.a Xiao Ge - smiles even the lord of the underworld will make a detour to avoid his path; a smile of innocence - when Tian Zhen a.k.a Wu Xie smiles - the qilin clears the way. Not sure if this was in the original books or if it's just a comment made by fans online or by NPSS during interviews but it's pretty legit interpretation in my opinion. PingXie is each other's only constant in a world of uncertainties and they see the other as a human, not a god or weapon/blade to be used for the Nine Gates. I think after Sha Hai when Xiao Ge exits the Bronze Gates both are so wounded and scarred that they want to do is to give the other affection and for them to rest and recuperate from what they've suffered in those 10 years and more.)

Even a lifetime as a god, there can also be a moment, a minute of being an ordinary human. (Wu Xie referring to Xiao Ge that even though he has lived as a god for his entire life, there are still brief moments where he too can be an ordinary human. Xiao Ge is just an ordinary human, just like Wu Xie and Pang Zi.)

Anyways, sorry about the long post but that's about it I think. I'll add on if I ever think about anything in the future. Hope this post was helpful 😂

[ask-mirror-and-prime-simon]

The Mirror Car II

Summary: A familiar face implores Simon to confront his feelings

A/N: None

Chapter: 3/?

Word Count: 1.9k

Warning: Implied suicidal thoughts/Self hatred

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey...are you okay?"

His eyes burned as he forced them open,face still warm and bright red. "What do you think?"

"Simon...I'm sorry..."

"Stop it"

The other looked to him with confusion. "Huh?"

"Stop it" Simon repeated. "Stop apologizing,its annoying"

"But I made you upset,even if I did get mad I shouldn't have taken it out on you"

"You're so patronizing,you know that?" The boy said. "Stop acting like you're better than me"

"I'm not trying to" He attempted to explain. "I'm just saying sorry"

"Then stop saying it in my voice!" His prime snapped. "I can take dealing with nulls that want to fight back but I'm not letting you mock me"

"I'm not mocking you!" The other insisted. "I can't help sounding like you or looking like you,I was just born like this"

"Then I'll make you!" He lunged towards the other,right hand ready to grab him by the hair while the left reached for the glass shard. His knuckles were first to hit the reflective surface,the boy letting out a pained hiss before shooting him a glare. "Get out of there and fight me!"

"I don't want to fight you!" The reflection shouted. "Just please talk to me! I can help fix everything,just-"

Simon swung his leg forth,kicking the cube by his side with as much force as he could muster. His foot ached from the harsh slam against the chrome but he dare not stop. He continued to swing and kick with frustrated grunts,hoping that eventually he would knock that sorrowful look off the douple-gangers face. Yet each time he pulled away all he saw was himself,arms shielding his face with a look of fear in his eyes. The sight was enough to make his blood boil.

"Stop it!" The other begged with a cracked voice,scared that the barrier could somehow break. "Just listen to me! I want to fix everything too!"

Simon froze,foot hovering over where the other's face would be. "What?"

"I want to find Grace," He said. "I want to find her so we can start over but be better"

"Why would I want to get better if I was never wrong to begin with?" Simon asked. "You're just as brainwashed as she was"

"You know you were wrong" His reflection said. "If...If you really did think you were right you wouldn't be here"

The passenger grew a sneer,hands curled into a fist. "I'm here to find Grace and take her home. She's been in that projection thing long enough to be back to normal"

"But you don't want to leave her there" His reflection began. "And I know this has been eating you up since then. I felt everything you did when it happened and I know you felt something"

He slammed his fist into the wall,looking to the other with rage. "You don't know anything!"

The other flinched,Simon leaning in closer. "You don't know what we've been through together,you don't know how much it hurt knowing she picked that null over someone she knew for ten years,YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS KNOWING EVERYTHING WAS A LIE!"

Tears welled in the corner of his Prime's eyes,the mirror boy slowly reaching out for him. "Simon..."

His face grew red,the corners of his sneer twitching as he struggled to keep from sobbing. "We've been together for ten years...the Apex wasn't just some after school group we made. Leading it by her side...I just...I felt like I had a purpose. I actually meant something here"

"You are here for a reason" His reflection reminded him softly. "You're here to get better and heal"

"From what?" The boy questioned. "Coming here was the best thing to ever happen to me and you want me to give everything up just because some old woman said I had to?"

"Well,Grace tried to"

"And look where she is now"

There was a moment of silence,the passenger wiping the tears from his eyes. The chrome boy laid back against the barrier,listening to his sniffling. "I just thought...I thought you'd get better after hearing everything."

"Hear what? That I'm the worst,most worthless person alive and I should rot away?" The boy let out a weak chuckle. "Yeah,I really needed to hear that"

"I never said that" His reflection quickly responded. "What I'm saying is..." He took a deep breath,leaning against the barrier separating their worlds. "You messed up,but you can still fix it"

"How?" Simon asked,defeat in his tone. "I can't just go back and pretend nothing happened. What if...what if she hates me?"

"I mean..." He hesitated a moment before looking away. "I wouldn't blame her,we deserve it"

“Stop acting like you did anything '' Simon half heartedly demanded.

"But I'm a part of you and you-"

"You are NOT a part of me" He quickly said. "You're just - just a stupid,stupid null that's making me say dumb shit"

"I'm..." He hesitated,brushing aside the idea of correcting him. "But you said all of this to me,maybe you can say it to her"

"As if she'd let me," The Prime said bitterly.

"Well...maybe I can do it"

Simon raised an eyebrow,looking to him. "What?"

"You said I didn't do anything right?" He asked. "I know you're scared to say this to her,so what if I tell her for you?"

"Why would she listen to you?" He shot back. "You're just a null"

"She listened to Hazel," The other reminded him. "I know I don't mean as much as you did to anyone,but maybe she'll listen to me"

"And how are you going to talk to her huh?" Simon folded his arms,an annoyed look in his eye. "You can't even get out to fight me"

"I know how but...but we'll have to switch places. Only one of us can go,” he explained nervously.

The other held back a laugh,a twisted grin peaking through in its place. As if he'd let a null trick him into another sort of trap. Just as he thought,they could never be trusted. What a waste of time. "Wow,I can't believe I almost let you trick me"

"I'm not trying to trick you!" His reflection said in a panic. Damn it,he was so close to actually letting him acknowledge the long list of screw ups. "I'm trying to help you,I promise"

"Nice try null" His smile quickly fell,the boy pressing his hand against the chrome. "Tell anyone about anything I said and I'll kill both of us"

He began to stand,heading back towards the door. The reflection stood with terrified tears in his wide eyes. No,he could still change! He believed him,if only he'd just listen! "WAIT!"

He reached for his Prime,their palms finally touching save for the thin chrome barrier. His feet were slowly lifted off the ground,the world spinning with him as he let out a scream. Just as fast as the spinning had started it stopped,the boy left shakily standing.

The reflection nervously looked around,trying to make sense of what had just happened. The air felt different somehow,more fresh and cold on his metal skin. A sudden feeling burst in his chest,a shaky hand placing a hand over the area.

A heartbeat

His eyes grew wide at the sudden revelation. He was out,finally free. Tears welled in his eyes,falling like rain drops as he looked at his own reflection in his palms. "I...I'm real"

"HEY!"

His happiness was short lived,the boy looking below him to find the other banging on the chrome floors. He hurled profanities at him,fighting to return to the other side.

"Simon!" He immediately fell to his knees,eyes full of worry. "Are you okay?"

"YOU TRICKED ME!"

The once reflection flinched,a wince on his face. "I-I didn't mean to-"

"YOU LIAR!" The other yelled. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOU! YOU NULLS ARE ALL THE SAME! YOU'RE ALL JUST THE WORST!"

The boy's face grew warm,another brand new feeling,finally shouting. "You wouldn't be in there if you just listened!"

"I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO ANYONE!"

"You should've listened to Grace!"

Simon tensed,sneer frozen on his face.

"This never would've happened if you just listened!"

The other opened his mouth to find any sort of retort,words sharp as a blade to destroy the person who dared make him spill such raw emotions. No,he's a liar just like everyone else,how could he lie to himself and say he felt sorry about doing the right thing? All he'd have to do was wake Grace up and go back home and pretend nothing ever happened.

But...could he even do that now?

"What if...what if she hates me?"

He grit his teeth,body trembling as his eyes grew watery. All he could imagine was the girl he loved so much waking from her torturous nightmare and staring at him. Her usually kind eyes would hold nothing but malice,betrayal even as she looked at him with unfiltered disgust.

"I hate you" She would shout between sobs. "I'd rather die than have anything to do with you!"

Warm tears rolled down his cheeks,lowering his head so the other couldn't see the pain only his dearest friend had ever witnessed. His entire body shook,breathing heavy as he held back a sob.

"Simon..."

"Just get out," He choked. "Get out and leave me to die"

The other remained silent,anger melting back into concern. He debated on whether or not to switch back,a part of him knowing exactly where he would walk straight to first,flesh torn in the train wheels.

"I'll come back for you" He said softly. "I'll fix everything and come back,I promise"

"Go away..."

Reluctantly he sat up,feeling something sharp under his palm. He lifted his hand,finding the glass shard lovingly handed to him by the young Lucy. By the looks of it,it was probably best to keep anything sharp as far away from his Prime as possible.

He quickly tucked it in his sock,glass pressing against his ankle. With that he stood,giving the boy one last glance before opening the dark wood door.

The air was fresh,whipping his metal hair back. With a deep breath he stepped outside,fully expecting to be pulled right back in.

Nothing.

For the first time he stood with both feet out the door,entire body free from the shackles of the mirror world. He watched the world around him,the train even bigger than he could ever imagine. So many cars,so many new worlds full of life that he could only dream of seeing before.

He stepped forward,flinching once he caught sight of the spinning wheels. No - it's fine - Simon’s in the chrome car and Grace wouldn’t hurt any denizen after the brief moment of happiness she had with Hazel. It's...It's fine. Everything’s fine.

In the wheel he caught a glimpse of himself. That face...the longer he looked the more his stomach churned.

Careful hands undid the small ponytail,blond hair falling to his shoulders. He reached for the hem of his sweater,pulling the article up and over until it was off and crumpled into a hasty clump of fabric and twine. Shaky arms held the ball of old belongings over the railing,eyes shut tight. No more wheeling,not after this.

The boy let the elastic fall,band snapping as the fabric ripped under the wheels into scraps and thread. He hesitantly opened an eye,looking to his reflection once more. It was a start at least.

He turned back to the bridge,continuing the long walk onwards. What lay ahead,even he wasn’t entirely sure. What he did know was one thing,he was going to fix whatever mess was left behind by his Prime. It didn’t matter how long it would take,just so long as no one else had to suffer anymore.

[ariddletobesolved]

Days We Spend Under the Sun (Ten - End)

Written for @helsa-summer-event ❤

Fandom: Frozen

Genre: Romance, Family, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Whump

Rating: T

Summary: Summer is not her favourite season, but a certain Admiral from the neighbouring kingdom is going to change that.

Brace yourself for a long arse chapter, and maybe a little cheesy (idk). This is the last chapter of this AU (feeling emotional already, lmao). Sorry it took a while, I've been dealing with several things, but here I am. I won't write too much notes, as I've prepared another post just for that. Thanks for reading and supporting this AU. Enjoy!

Prompt 7: Free

—

Chapter Ten

"I don't know if I can do this."

Hans sighed as he put down the small box on the wooden table, pushing it closer to the queen's direction.

From her seat behind the desk, Anna gave him a look. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Would you care to elaborate?"

The former prince pinched the bridge of his nose, before turning to face the queen.

"I don't think she'll say yes." He replied, his hands clasped behind his back as he stood up straight. "We haven't been courting for that long, and the past we shared—"

"Yes, yes, I'm aware." Anna calmly interjected. Her hands were in her lap, eyes darting from the box towards him. "But you seemed so eager and determined a week ago, what changes?"

His jaw clenched, for the vivid memory of his dream last night came crashing at him, flooding his senses. It had been two months since the last time the nightmare occurred, about him, standing in the pool of blood on the slowly melting fjord, gazing at a pair of dull blue eyes that stared back at him. Elsa was dead, and he would become king like he wanted. The ice beneath him thawed, and he fell into the cold water. That was when he woke up, gasping for air, only to see Elsa, alive and murmuring sweet nothings to his ear. Realising that it was all just a dream, he pulled Elsa into his embrace, muttering how sorry he was.

It was a vision of what could've been, had he succeeded in ending the Eternal Winter by going for the source of magic. Even after years of punishment and redemption, the guilt was still there, eating him alive. Had it not been for Elsa's comfort, Hans wouldn't have known how to keep going.

"Hans?"

"I was a monster." He gulped. "Maybe I still am, knowing that some people still don't trust me. And for that, I know I'm not worthy of your sister's love, or anyone else's."

"You were." Anna grabbed the small box and a roll of parchment, then getting up from her chair. "Hans, you'd wronged me. I won't sugarcoat it. You left me to die in that room, you deceived me, and you were out to kill my sister. I admit, I took great pleasure when I punched you in the face."

The whole time, Hans didn't even flinch. He knew what he had done wrong, he was aware of that, and he would forever regret it.

"So I've noticed, even after all those dark months, some people still refused to look you in the eye, not wanting to acknowledge you as a person." She walked over and stopped before the tall redhead. "I did that too when you first came here after years. Elsa was the one insisting to lock you up, but I didn't see the point. There was something different about you."

When a roll of parchment was offered to him, Hans frowned. "Why are you doing this, Anna?"

"As much as I'm doing this for Elsa, I also believe you're not the same person who came to Arendelle with an ambition to become king." Anna spoke, her gaze showed kindness. "I can see that now, and it's not only because you won us war.

"That Prince Hans of The Southern Isles, who had a miserable childhood, dying to prove himself to his father and twelve older brothers, who attempted to marry into the throne to become king and was willing to commit a murder to fulfil such an ambition, was a failure. He wasn't born evil, yet he had failed to stop himself from being blinded by ambitions, and his tragic past doesn't excuse what he did." She paused, thrusting the roll onto his grasp. "But the man standing before me right now is not him. I trust you understand what I mean, Vice Admiral." Anna smiled as she mentioned his new title.

There was a beat, before Hans asked in disbelief, "They approved?" He unrolled it and began to read its content, green eyes were scanning the words over and over again. 

"It was a long discussion with Captain Larsson, but apparently, some people already accept you as one of us, even Admiral Goran." She was relieved and worried at the same time. She knew Hans doubted himself, at least she had heard Elsa mentioned it to her a couple of times, but she also knew that the two of them—Elsa and Hans were madly in love with each other. All they needed was a little push. 

"Hans," Anna called, and immediately, his attention was on her.

"Thank you so much! I don't know what to say, this is," Hans beamed, "does Elsa know?"

"Not yet." The strawberry blonde smiled. "I figured you'll be the one telling her, as planned."

Realisation began to sink in and he pressed his lips in a tight line. "Right."

"You're doubting yourself, aren't you?" The queen studied him closely. "I see how you look at my sister, and how she looks back at you. I know Elsa, and I've never seen her being this happy—different kind of happy. You might not notice it, but she is glowing whenever she is with you. She cares about you, and I know you care about her, a lot, I may add."

"Do you really think so?"

Anna rolled her eyes in a playful manner. "I know so!" She pressed the small box gently on his hand, and gave him a little push. "Now go and propose to my sister. You already have my blessing, and that means you have one less thing to worry about."

The gesture from his, hopefully, future sister in law brought a smile on his face. Hans glanced at her, feeling grateful for her kindness. He firmly held the box in his right hand. The queen was no longer that naive little princess, who would marry a man she just met because she was desperate for love. She had grown into a compassionate and caring Queen of Arendelle, whose prosperous reign was equal to her predecessor, her sister. Whether it was motherhood or her kind nature, he didn't know.

"Thank you, Anna." Hans didn't know if hugging the queen was the best move, so he went to shake her hand. But Anna, sensing his hesitation, pulled him in a quick hug.

"No, thank Elsa." She said, holding him by his shoulders. "I might be the one who opened the door, but she was the one who let you in."

The former prince nodded. The sisters' kindness was obviously contagious, and it was a part of several reasons why he wanted to change for the better.

"But," Anna said, her tone turned dramatically, "if you hurt my sister, I won't hesitate to punch you in the face, again, and I'll make sure that your nose wouldn't be the only thing that's broken." 

Hans gulped. Of course he knew better than causing the Snow Queen any pain. He nodded.

"Now, go!" Anna smiled, pushing him towards the door. "You have a date to attend. Also, it's a perfect place for a date in this castle, so might as well, not spoil it."

"Okay, okay."

"Oh, and Hans?" Just when he was about to close the door, she added, "welcome to the family."

—

Hans couldn't stop smiling. A sudden surge of confidence boosted through him, as he made his way towards Elsa's room. With a ring in his pocket, a bouquet of her favourite flowers and a new dress for her in his grasp, he began to think of how their day would proceed. If Anna was right, and Elsa said yes, Hans would be the luckiest man alive, he knew that for sure. Standing before the wooden door, he composed himself. As he turned the bronze handle, he heard voices talking.

"Oh, I don't know what he is planning, but I heard him talking to Anna about dresses and flowers." It was Olaf. "I hope he is not planning something bad."

Hans was frozen on the spot. Did the snowman think that he had a bad intention towards Elsa? He knew Olaf was probably not making any sense, but it was enough to make him think of the worst.

Elsa chuckled. "Olaf, why would he plan something bad with dresses and flowers? It sounds like something romantic, but I can be wrong."

It was a relief, but gone was the confidence he brought along as the next question came up.

"You said he had a nightmare, Elsa, what was that about?"

There was a silence, thick and hostile, from where he was standing. Doubts began to cloud his mind, as he wondered what she might be thinking. Not wanting to wait any longer, he pushed the door open. 

Her beautiful smile was the first thing that greeted him. Still dressed in her nightgown, Elsa looked radiant, as she sat on the bed with a breakfast tray in her lap. Olaf beamed and waved at him.

"I wish they would allow me to join you for breakfast, since I'm feeling much better now." Elsa sighed when she saw him walk over. "What do you have there?"

Hans flashed her a smile, settling the neatly folded dress over the chair nearby and put the flowers in her grasp, before leaning in to kiss her lips.

"Presents." He let out, sitting on the bed next to her.

Olaf nudged her, "See? I told you!" The snowman then collected her tray, before getting back on his feet. "I think I'll leave you both to it. See you later!"

Once the bedroom door was closed, Hans put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it lightly. At the gesture, she let out a giggle, before shoving his hand off. "Hans, no!" She smiled gently, cradling the bouquet close to her chest. "Thank you." Fondly, Elsa admired the bouquet, inhaling the familiar scent. "It's lovely."

"I'm actually planning something for the both of us." He stated, tucking her loose blonde strands behind her ear.

Eagerly, her blue eyes widened with interest. "Really, what is it? Are we going to go sailing?"

Sailing was his previous plan, indeed, but since Elsa was only recovering from her fever, Hans decided that they should stay in. He didn't wish to cause her any more harm than he already did, although the rising temperature wasn't exactly his doing. Besides, if Elsa said yes to a lifetime with him, it means that they would sail forever in holy matrimony.

"You'll see," was all his reply.

—

Moments later, Elsa and Hans were standing on the balcony at the back of the castle, facing the perfect view of the open sea. Anna was right, Hans thought, it was a perfect place for a date. A table for two was set up, with cakes, a teapot, two cups, and some boxes of chocolate were served on the table. A bouquet of heathers was placed in the middle.

Elsa could recall how many times she would go there in between meetings when she was queen, just to allow herself to think. She loved the view, the blueness of the ocean, and the gentle caress of the wind, they offered her comfort. It was rather quiet, even during the day, but at least she wasn't alone this time.

Hans held her close from behind, one hand was holding the railing, and the other was around her torso. His mind wandered back to the conversation he had with Anna. He would never forget her generosity in giving him the chance to prove himself that he was capable of growth—the chance not everyone would grant him. She allowed him to stay in Arendelle, to serve in the navy, so he could be close to the love of his life, despite the dark past they shared. Then he began to think of Elsa's silence when the topic about his nightmare was brought up.

"You're quiet." Elsa stirred in his embrace and turned to face him. "What are you thinking about?"

"Things." He said, before letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Elsa, I shouldn't have ruined it for you. We can have some tea and chocolates."

Hans was about to move to the table, when Elsa stopped him. "You didn't ruin anything at all. I was only wondering why you were quiet." She paused, eyes were never leaving his. "Would you like to talk about what's troubling you?"

"What makes you think it's troubling me?" It was a little defensive on his part.

Elsa frowned. "Your reaction right now is what." She blinked. "Is it your nightmare?"

She wondered what made him act so defensive. The past few days, Elsa noticed how he had been acting strange, and she was under the impression that he was hiding something, but what? That couldn't have had anything to do with the recurring nightmare, could it?

"Hans?"

Ignoring her, the redhead let go of her hand, before turning around. He pulled out a box from his pocket, admiring the diamond ring inside. Oh, how he wished everything was easier for him.

"You've been hiding something." It was loud and clear in his ear. "What is it?"

"Nothing." He muttered, still with his back facing her. Putting the box back into his pocket, Hans looked back.

Thoughts were running through her head, and some of them weren't pretty. "Are you doubting us?" 

"It's not that." Hans shook his head. The frown on his face deepened.

Elsa, growing frustrated as the second passed, looked away. Her cheeks were flushing as anger began to build up. "I can't believe you don't even trust me, especially with whatever it is you're hiding."

"It's not that simple, Elsa." He took a deep breath, rubbing his face in an equal frustration. "You don't understand."

"Then make me!" Elsa pressed, taking a step closer. 

Her fingertips were cold, as she tried to contain her powers from exploding. She breathed heavily, the storm in her chest was raging, but there was something in his emerald eyes—remorseful and sincere—as she held his gaze. Closing her eyes, Elsa tried to calm her mind. Anger was never a solution, and one of them should hold their ground if they wanted to carry on with the conversation. Perhaps what he needed was comfort.

"Hans," The former queen called, after another minute passed with silence. She looked up, staring at him with her blue eyes, while holding one hand out. "Come here."

When Hans took her hand, Elsa immediately pulled him into an embrace. She wounded her arms around his torso, resting her cheek against his shoulder. Gently, he returned the gesture and pressed a kiss on her temple. Nothing could top the feeling of holding each other close, getting lost in the comfort.

Closing his eyes, Hans breathed in her scent. Maybe asking her wouldn't hurt, he thought, and he shouldn't be selfish if he wanted to take their relationship one step ahead. And with a determination, he let out, "Kaere."

A beat.

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath, still holding her hand. "I need to tell you something."

Taking one step back, his knee bended slightly, and Elsa tried to stifle a gasp. Is he going to propose? She thought, is this what he has been hiding from me? Her pulse quickened, anticipating what was about to come. Elsa didn't see that coming, but for some reason, she was glad.

The former queen was no fool, and she frowned when she saw him stand up straight. She put two and two together, and realised that he had been doubting his own self. She knew about his nightmare, and how remorseful he had been. To see him looking unsure brought a pang on her chest. She couldn't wait any longer.

"Marry me." Elsa blurted out.

Stunned. Her words got him frozen on the spot. Hans stood there, dumbfounded. Marry me. Those words echoed in his mind, and he had to blink to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. Did she just—

"Hans?" She whispered, taking a step closer to cradle his head. "Are you—

But before she could continue, Hans captured her lips with his. Gone was the hesitation, the doubts that had been haunting him, as he got lost in the passion. Her lips were firmly pressed against his, as if she tried to give him a proper reassurance. He held her close by the waist, as he deepened the kiss, savouring the taste of her tongue, before they pulled away.

"Is that a yes?" She asked breathlessly, smiling ear to ear, pressing her forehead against his.

"Kaere," Hans couldn't contain the joy. He let go of her waist, and held her hand. With a surge of confidence, he got down on one knee. "Allow me to do it properly."

He pulled out the small diamond ring and held it up. 

"Elsa," he began, "I know I'm not worthy of your love," seeing the look of disapproval on her face, Hans gave her hand a gentle tug, "hear me out, please?"

"Okay." Her heart swelled inside her ribcage, and warmth overflowing in her body. She nodded.

"I know I'm not worthy of your love," he repeated, "forgiveness, even a second chance. What I've done in the past is unforgivable, and I'm accepting that.

"But you, Elsa, you have given me the chance to get to know you, and I'm grateful for that. Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and you are the kindest people I know. You have shown me kindness, and for that, I'm forever grateful. I love you, min Kaere, and nothing will ever change that. I've never felt this way before, and you don't know how hard it was to deny it. Because loving you feels so right, but also wrong at the same time. Our union is frowned upon because of our past, but we've proved them wrong."

"Hans," she gasped. Her eyes were glassy with tears at his confession.

"I have nothing grand to offer, and I may be pushing my luck, but," he paused, looking at her with sincerity, "Elisabeth," he gently said, taking her by surprise at her given name. "Will you marry me?"

Her vision got blurry with tears as she stood there. It was too much for her, the love and joy that she felt was overwhelming, but in a good way.

"Yes." She nodded furiously. "God, yes!"

He slid the ring on her finger, and got up to pull her into his arms. He spun her around, burying his face in the crook of her neck. There were sparks in his chest when he heard her giggles, and realisation began to sink in. They're engaged.

"I love you." He put her down, so they were standing face to face. One hand cradled her head, with his thumb rubbing her cheek gently. "I love you so much."

Elsa smiled, giving into his touch. "And I love you too, so very much." She covered his hand with hers, as she pressed a gentle kiss on the heel of his palm. "Don't ever doubt yourself, okay? You are worthy."

Hans nodded slowly. "Forgive me."

"It's okay." Elsa nuzzled his nose. "There's nothing to forgive."

"There's also another thing." He began.

Elsa tilted her head with interest. "Yes?"

"I'm staying." Hans smiled. "This time for good."

"Hans, what?" With her mouth agape, she gazed into his emerald eyes, searching for any hint of mischief, and when she couldn't find any, she blinked. "I don't understand."

He led her to a chair nearby, and helped her sit, before seating himself next to her. Taking her hand in his, Hans pressed his lips over the knuckles.

"So, I might have asked Anna a favour just about last week. I was applying for a vacant spot in the Arendellian Navy."

It did not take her long to guess. "The Vice Admiral?"

The redhead nodded. "Yes."

"And you got it?" This time, she was smiling.

"I did."

Elsa didn't know what to say. The news was another thing she didn't expect to hear, and it seemed as if her day couldn't get any better.

"It's," the former queen paused, "wonderful! I'm so happy for you, truly."

She cupped his face and showered him with kisses, from his forehead to his temple, then his nose, and down to his lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Elsa settled on his lap. She nuzzled the crook of his neck as he held her close.

"I'm so glad to have you home, Hans." She murmured.

"Home?"

Elsa nodded, looking up to him, fondly. "You're here now with me. We are home."

Home. He liked the ring of it. Elsa had been his safe haven, and then she was his home. In the end, things were working out just fine, and they were both alright.

"Thank you, Elsa."

"Hmm?" She eyed the new accessory on her ring finger with a smile, before darting her attention back to him. "For what?"

Hans felt his heart swell. He pressed another kiss on her temple. "For letting me in, and giving me a second chance." And he would be forever grateful for that.

Quietly, Elsa settled back in his embrace. Her blue eyes were gazing far ahead at the open sea. Once in a while, she stole glances at the symbol of their union, and she realised that the past few days they spent under the sun were leading up to that very moment. How their story went as the time passed, she would treasure that, and despite the rocky path they had to take to get there, Elsa regretted nothing.

Suddenly the future didn't seem to be uncertain. Hans is staying, and we're getting married, Elsa told herself. That steadiness, something to hold onto, was all she needed. And forever with him, she couldn't wait to spend.

END.

[for-ests]

Always Enough- Peter Parker x Reader

Okay so this imagine was an anon request that I had previously posted, but I accidentally deleted. I didn't mean to, so here’s a re-upload. Happy finals & sorry my dumbass clicked the wrong button on tumblr mobile because im stupid

Summary (bc the request deleted w/ the post): The reader realizes she had been neglecting Peter because she was stressed over school. Peter thinks there might be another reason because she has become distant. Confrontation and angst follows!

Word count: 2, 360

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Finals were a killer, especially for a nursing major like yourself. The stress of it all made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Cry for hours until you couldn't cry no more. 

But that wasn't an option. What you dreamed of becoming, something simple, yet incredibly difficult, was growing out of reach. Your hours of studying had led you nowhere, only to barely tangible grades. Grades that were barely above average. You were disappointed, discouraged, and running out of options.

What else would you do with your life? Becoming a nurse was the only thing you had ever wanted to be, it was all you knew. Ever since aliens rained in the sky, your only motive was to help the ones who couldn't help themselves. But how could you ever hope to do that when you couldn't pass biochem?

What didn't help your anxious mind was the house you had to stress over, and your minimum wage restaurant job that didn't add to your required expertise. Tears welled in your eyes as you remembered you had to lay a payment down on your ever-increasing student loans. Maybe college wasn't for you. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Your summer money was running out and fast.

Just breathe. You repeated. I don't have time to cry.

You could cry after you studied. And right now, you had barely glanced at your flashcards for more than ten minutes. It seemed like you were paralyzed, sitting in bed with your flashcards scattered around you, all of them laid out and waiting for involvement.

Just as you were about to pick up the first card, your phone buzzed beside you. Instinctively, you glanced at it, your heart dropping when you saw Peter's name flash across the screen.

Date. You had a date night, and you forgot.

"Fuck!" You cursed out loud, the tears you had tried so hard to control seeming to burst over your eyelids. How could you forget?

Peter: I'll be there in 15 minutes :D

You replied immediately, glancing at yourself in the phone's reflection. You looked terrible and distraught beyond compare.

Y/N: Peter…im so sorry I forgot, i'm not ready

Peter: oh

Y/N: i have a huge exam soon, maybe its for the best that we rain check? i'm sorry I know ive done this before but im really stressed about it

Peter: we havent talked for days, y/n, i think theres more going on than what youre telling me

Y/N: what? of course not wtf

Peter: im coming over anyways, ill be there soon

Y/N: why?

Peter: we have to talk.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. Those words were what you had been dreading, and all focus you had managed to gather vanished into thin air. You knew you had been neglecting Peter's affections. Even if every fiber in your being wanted to make him the single most important thing in your life.

It had been almost a week since you'd seen him, and honestly, it was painful in the most innocent way.

But Peter didn't have to worry like you did. He was gifted and already had his entire life ahead of him, set in the middle of Stark industries. But you never asked for a handout, you never asked for help. Even though you knew he was the smartest young man around. You were proud to be his, and the thought of that disappearing was more detrimental to you that failing your upcoming exam.

Y/N: ok, front door is open

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at this point. You had been with Peter for over a year and had gone without seeing him for longer, but he was right. This time was different. This was the third date you had canceled without wanting to, but sometimes apologizing wasn't enough. Peter deserved a lengthy explanation of what you were really going through.

You were so used to holding back your emotions, that times like this were an occasional reoccurrence. You had always been so afraid of unloading your burdens onto others that you still sometimes forgot that having a boyfriend came with that perk. He was still going to love and cherish you if you asked for help and advice. Hell, you needed to realize that he wanted to.

That was a factor of why you were so in love with Peter. He always listened, and sometimes, even push the truth out of you when he could tell you needed it.

"You're already crying, huh." A sad smile was on Peter's face as he opened the door. His sudden appearance startled you, and you managed to chuckle despite the circumstances.

"You know me." You sniffled, immediately embarrassed by the state he had caught you in. Instinctively, you brushed your hair to the side and dabbed the tears from under your eyes. You could feel the remnants of Make-up drying to your skin.

"I didn't mean to ruin your study-"

"But we need to talk." You finished, shoving your school supplies to the edge of the bed. You made enough room, so he was able to sit comfortably.

Slightly embarrassed, you kept your gaze averted as best as you could. Just Peter's presence made your heart flutter, and a part of you was trying to prepare for the worst. You might really lose him this time. And for what? Yes, school was incredibly important, so, so important. But so was Peter, and you needed to find a balance.

Your silence was enough to beckon Peter's thoughts into the open.

"I just need to make sure you're still serious… about us." His voice was soft as if it was struggling to stay neutral.

Finally, gaining the courage to look at him, you locked eyes. Peter's gaze was heavy and forthcoming, and it took all of your willpower to swallow the knot in your throat.

"Of course, I am." The conviction was entirely evident in your tone. So much so, that Peter fell silent. His accusations seemed to die in his throat, but he knew that if he didn't get them out now, they would creep back to him later.

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Peter muttered, unable to gaze at your confused expression. You looked so hurt.

Your silence beckoned him to continue.

"I haven't properly talked with you in a week. You've canceled our last three dates… it seems like you never want to hang out with me anymore."

Peter winced. He was a grown man, and he sounded like a child. Yet, he had let so many things slide, hoping you would come around, hoping you would make it up to him. Perhaps he had been selfish to only think of himself in the relationship. He failed to realize that maybe in attempts to please him, you were putting your own future on the line. 

"I know you're going through a lot, but you can't even seem to talk about it." Peter's shoulders felt tense, his eyebrows knitting together in an agitated expression. His leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He looked like he was about to burst.

"I'm sorry." You said, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Pausing, you tried to gather your thoughts into cohesive sentences that would soothe his anxious mind.

"There's nobody else, right?" He suddenly blurted, actually turning his head to look at you. Insecurity was glazed in his eyes for the first time.

"Why would you even think that?" You said, startled. The question felt as if he had shoved your head underwater and held it there just long enough for you to choke on the liquid.

His expression was blank for the first time. Vulnerability at its finest. "My life isn't perfect, you know. I overthink just like you. I need reassurance."

Peter was so calm, so calm that it worried you. Though you were already afraid of how this conversation would go, it hurt you to realize that this conversation was the result of your actions. You failed to make Peter feel special like you had promised. Like he had promised you. Relationships go both ways, and for the last couple of weeks, it had only gone one.

"No, Peter. There will never be anyone else."

He sighed, relaxing slightly. "You've been acting weird. I don't really know what to think."

"I told you a billion times, I'm studying. After work, that's literally all I do. And I need to focus."

"I feel like there's more. It feels weird to not see a text from you when I wake up. It feels weird to not hear your voice. I don't… I don't like it, Y/N. Even if that's selfish."

And selfish it was. Peter expected you to be transparent while he was hiding possibly the biggest secret in the world. Maybe that was why he was so worried about how much you loved him. Peter wanted to be honest with you. He wanted you to know he was spider-man, but right now, he still couldn't bring himself to. Perhaps he was looking for a reason.

"I'm sorry." Your hands were clenched in your lap. "I've never had to deal with this before. Everything is so new, even if we've been together for a year. I've never cared about anyone like this, and I can't manage my time."

Peter paused as if every word in this conversation pained him to no end. His eyes were glossy, his mind unclear. He was desperately trying to understand why you were isolating himself. "You can't make any time for me?"

"That's the thing, I can't focus on anything else when I'm with you." Your lip quivered. "And that's a problem."

"It's not for me." He said quickly. "I make time for you, and you don't for me. And you need to tell me why."

You glanced away, embarrassed. No matter what you said, the reason wouldn't be good enough. You were just a bad girlfriend.

Peter reached his hand out and pulled you to him. You rested your chin upon his shoulder, soothed to feel his warmth once again. "You need to tell me, Y/N. We've made it work for this long, and all of a sudden, it stopped."

Your body started to shake. Trying to muffle your sob, you brought your hand to your mouth. It was all too much.

"-You have your whole life together, Peter. I have nothing, I still have to work for it. I'm not as smart as you, I'm-"and that's when the tears started to flow. It was a literal flood, tear after tear poured over your eyelids until they were bloodshot, until pressure pounded through your head.

Before you could finish, your face was pressed against Peter's chest. He held you tightly, his sweatshirt dabbing up your tears of sorrow. You gripped tightly to him, releasing the stress that had been building up inside of you for the last two weeks.

He did not know what else to do. Showing you that he loved you seemed like the most viable option. Sometimes all you had to do was listen, and that was enough.

"I got a bad grade on my midterm exam, one that I didn't study for because I spent my time with you—I thought-"

"Shh." He stroked your hair, understanding what you meant without a complete explanation.

"I work so hard, and it's never enough-"

"It's always enough, Y/N."

"I got so caught up in it that I neglected you in the process. So much so that you thought I was cheating on you" you inhaled sharply, whimpering against him, so many different emotions swirling through your mind. "You're the best thing in my life, and I put you second…"

"Look at me, Y/N." He cupped your cheeks in a swift movement, forcing you to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are enough for me. That's why I bothered to have this conversation with you. That's why I care." He pressed his lips against your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter." You tilted your head up to kiss him wholly on the lips. You were a mess, but Peter had always told you that you looked beautiful when you cried.

"Rosy cheeks." He whispered, patting down your hair, inhaling your scent, and appreciating the beauty you constantly radiated.

You chuckled, sniffling loudly. Peter always said that after you had a successful mental break down, your cheeks brandished a rosy shade.

"Shut up." You whispered, tightening your grip around his torso. His back fell against your bed, and you shifted to lay completely on top of him. The firmness of his chest underneath you caused instant relaxation, instant relief. Maybe, just maybe, being in his presence was enough to get rid of the stress from everyday life.

The corners of your eyes were raw and red, yet it complimented your shade. Peter vowed from the moment he had met you, that he would never let any harm come to you. The last thing Peter had ever expected was that he might be the reason, instead of the world.

At least, for now, he had the power to fix it. You were the love of his life, and he had never felt so gratified to be in anyone else's presence.

Peter's fingers traced light, small circles on your back. He could hear your heartbeat slow. The softness of your finger against his was enough to help him close his eyes.

He was at peace, real peace for the first time in weeks.

"We need to remind ourselves to talk about shit more." You mumbled sleepy, almost inaudible. "So this doesn't happen again, because I hate it."

"Me too, babe." He whispered, content with watching you rise and fall in sync with his breathing.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

[kingreywrites]

33.         “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.” With Mac and Jack for the prompt if you want 😚

Thank you for the prompt! I’m sorry I didn’t specify but you can absolutely hit me up with a prompt if you want ;)

Fandom: Macgyver

Disclaimer: I haven’t watch season 4 so this is all based on spoilers I’ve seen and my assumptions, I hope I’m not too off ^^’

Words count: 2311

Warnings: violence, minor character death

The first thing Mac noticed as he woke up was the sickening smell of smoke permeating the air. Trying to scrunch up his nose is a mistake, though - pain exploded all through his head and the smell took a second place to the urgent desire to puke. Mac coughed, a harsh thing that sent tiny knives in his lungs, then coughed again, and again, until he feared he might just die from the pain alone.

It took a long time for him to notice the hand circling his back soothingly, or the whispered words of comfort above his aching head, said with a texan accent he could recognize anywhere.

"Jack," Mac called, his voice a painful croak immediately drowned by his coughing. His eyes were still closed but, for a moment, he imagined that his partner was back, taking care of him and making sure everything would be alright - a pipe dream that Mac liked to indulge in. Jack was gone though, had been for a long time, and Mac was alone. Alone even when the room was packed with people, alone in his pain because there was no one to share it with like he had done with Jack - alone, especially now that he made everyone but Riley believe he was a traitor, that he worked for Codex…

Codex…

With a gasp, Mac opened his eyes and jerked upright - but a strong wave of pain made him hunch right back into his hands with a groan. There was smoke everywhere, and Mac knew that he was the one to set the fire, but the memories were vague and fleeting. He knew there had been a problem; he knew he was outed as a double agent, and that his aunt had confronted him; he knew… No, he was missing time, and the blood on his hands spoke of a head wound he did not remember.

Movement to his right made him raise his eyes again in panic. Through the dizziness, the confusion and the fear, the fully geared agent in front of him was still easily recognizable.

"Jack?" Mac breathed, meeting his friend's concerned eyes with disbelief.

For a second, Mac could see inside his partner's eyes something different, that he had trouble identifying - there was worry here, and sadness, but also something fragile and vulnerable. Jack was quick to conceal it though, his features hardening as his hands went to rest on his firearm.

"Welcome back," he bit out. "Now fucking help me!"

He gestured to the weird contraption in the centre of the room and it came back to Mac with a flash - the Codex bomb, being made as a traitor, his aunt… He made an explosion to distract but she had seen through his tactics and it all went wrong from here and-

Swallowing, his head turned to the back of the room and there she was - Gwendolyn Hayes, all that was left of his family, eyes open and unseeing. Images of their struggles flashed through Mac's head, and he remembered desperately trying to push her and her knife off him, frantic in his panic until she fell and didn't get up - the knife he hadn't tracked embedded in her back. Then, there had been an explosion that Mac had set up himself, and if she wasn't before, it certainly was the last straw for her body. Mac wanted to be sick.

"She's dead," Jack confirmed, even if it was quite obvious, "and we'll be too if you don't help me and defuse this bomb, so I don't care if you went crazy and betrayed Phoenix-"

"I didn't," Mac whispered, scooting closer to the bomb, feeling queasy from the concussion he certainly had and from the guilt burning in his stomach, only worsened by Jack's obvious anger.

"You sure?" Jack growled, "'Cause I came back very happy to see my team and I was told that not only my best friend went completely nut, he also dragged the closest thing I have to a daughter into this-"

"I didn't!" Mac yelled, ignoring the jab about not being the closest thing Jack had to a son - or, better yet, turning it into resentment and anger. "And you would know that if you stayed instead of going on a two-years mission with no contact!"

"So it's my fault now? You were okay with me going!"

Mac laughed, an ugly and tearful sound wrecking his body, but didn't answer, because he didn't think he could. Had he been okay with it? He knew he had pretended to be, for Jack's sake, secretly hoping that he would see right through him and stay home - but that was selfish, and he couldn't really blame Jack for not reading between the lines. He wanted to, though. Wanted to tell him about the growing loneliness, about losing his dad and realising that he was all alone, everything he thought to be permanent and safe in his life now gone. His relationship with Desi was unstable, his with Riley was changing, Bozer was growing more distant - or maybe he was the problem once again, the common variable that was to blame for all it destroyed.

He wanted to tell Jack all that, but the worst thing was realising that he couldn't - that his relation with Jack had changed too and that he didn't know the man in front of him as well as he knew his partner. He wondered if Jack was seeing the same thing.

"Is Riley alright?" Mac asked after some minutes of tense silence, still trying to make sense of the bomb. "I asked her to go but I'm not sure she listened."

"She's outside, Desi took care of it," Jack answered gruffly, his hands leaving his weapon as he relaxed a fraction.

He didn't ask again about Mac's betrayal, but the question was still hanging between them, visible in every tense muscles and every suspicious glances Jack threw his way.

"I didn't- I didn't betray Phoenix, I'm a double agent."

"That no one knows of?"

"Riley does," Mac snapped back, before deflating, feeling adrift in his conflicting emotions. He tried not to look at his aunt's body, but its mere presence behind his back made his body shake with nervousness. Or maybe that was the bloodloss. "Who did you talk to?"

Jack frowned. "Weird guy, not as funny as he thinks he is, kinda want to punch him... Ross?"

"Russ," Mac corrected absantely, wiping the blood off his eyes. "Ross is the guy from Friends."

"If the shoe fits..."

Mac snorted and regretted it, his head still pounding with his heartbeat. Jack's hand went tentatively to his arm and the blond stiffened - it has been a long time since someone touched him. Riley had taken his hand, last time, but that was it.

"Kid," Jack started, the nickname so achingly familiar but which didn't seem to fit quite as well as it did before.

"I don't think I can disarm it completely," Mac announced, ignoring the tentative. "And- And I don't have much time, but if I want to make the explosion less devastating, I need to stay there. You should go," he ordered, hoping that the cold and rational charisma his father always exuded was hereditary for once.

Jack shook his head, tightening his grip on Mac's sleeve. "You know that's not happening."

"Do I?" Mac laughed, heart in his throat. "Didn't you leave once already? Just do it again."

"Kid-"

"Don't call me kid!" the blond yelled, ignoring the nausea and the pain to glare at Jack's too serious and too concerned face. "You think I'm a traitor anyway," Mac spat, focusing back on the bomb, "so act like it."

He told himself that the silence was good - that Jack getting up was good, because that's what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted his friends safe, even if that meant that he had to be alone once again, and forever in that case. There had been a time when he had been sure he wouldn't die alone, but like everything in his life, certainties had been fractured and destroyed.

Jack walked on the other side of the bomb and plopped back down, his dark eyes meeting Mac's.

"I am not leaving," he enunciated harshly. "I'm sorry I made you think… I'm sorry, alright? For what I did, and for not being there for you when you obviously needed. And for how I thought you were a traitor, I'm sorry for that too. I'm not sure how I can make it up to you, hoss…" Jack's voice cracked and, numbly, Mac noticed the tears gathered in the ex-Delta's eyes. "... but I know that I'll spend what's left of my life trying. Even if it only last ten minutes."

"No."

The word had escaped Mac before he could really think about it, but even with his muddled mind, he understood how much Jack had to go.

"I'm staying and that's final," Jack repeated.

"No!" Mac growled, ignoring the fire in his eyes and the fire in his lungs and the fire ravaging the building they were both in - ignoring it all, in favour of sending the most hateful look at Jack. "Don't you see? If you stay, you'll die and, with my damned luck, I know that I will survive!"

The tears gathered in his eyes fell, and the smoke made it painful, but Mac didn't think about it - he couldn't think, couldn't breathe, could only see the image of Jack's body he had already thought about a billion time, and had already dreamt about a billion others. His voice was hoarse, full of an emotion Jack had never seen in him.

"Charlie is dead. My dad is dead. My crazy terrorist aunt is dead, and I'm the one who killed her." Mac took a deep shaky breath, seeing that the countdown was getting close and knowing that it was Jack's last chance. "Don't… Don't make me lose you too, please."

He was begging at this point, pleading with Jack to see reason, to leave him here like he himself had to leave his dad - because it had been the right choice, hadn't it? His dad heroically sacrificed himself and Mac had to leave, so now Mac could do the whole sacrifice thing, and Jack would leave.

Jack didn't move.

Mac closed his eyes, his hands trembling too much and the bomb as inoffensive as he could make it anyway with the materials he had. He couldn't even think about what else he could do - he was too numb, too empty to feel the same excitement he did before. He could only think about the overwhelming grief he had tried so hard to keep at bay, and which was now rearing its ugly head, making him think that soon, Jack will be part of his body count.

Mac didn't want to be there for that. He didn't think he could live, if Jack was dead because of him.

A hand gently uncurled his hands, prying his nails from his already broken skin. There were still tears falling on their entwined hands, Mac noticed as he opened his eyes, each drop chasing the blood and the grime covering them.

He was exhausted. Had been since his dad died, and he didn't think he could ever get better.

Jack pulled him into a hug, and Mac melted, feeling like he had finally found an anchor in the storm that turned his world upside down. They had mere seconds left and nothing was fixed, nothing was back to the way it was before, because it could never be.

But Jack whispered "You go kaboom, I go kaboom" and, through the beating of his heart, Mac heard the comfort for what it was - at the end of the day, no matter how much we have changed, I'd still lay my life for you and I know you'll do the same.

The bomb exploded, and Mac's last coherent thought was the overwhelming hope that he'd get the time to mend things with Jack.

-----

Mac hadn't expected to wake up. He had hoped, for sure, but actually feeling the sheets on his body and hearing the voices floating around the room was a surprise. A welcomed one, weirdly enough, because he needed to talk with Jack and-

Jack.

His eyes flew open and even the piercing pain of the sunlight wasn't enough to make him close them again. He tensed, despite the fact that his entire body was screaming at him - he even welcomed this pain, because that was one thing that could always ground him. Jack couldn't be dead, he couldn't be, especially not if Mac wasn't right there with him and he needed to find-

Oh. There he was, on an hospital bed too, arguing with Riley. Jack looked exhausted - Riley too.

"You need to be honest about your pain," she exclaimed, raising her arms to the ceiling. "Stop being so damn stubborn!"

Before Jack could voice the protests he had so clearly thought of, the door opened and Bozer entered, two cups of coffee in his hands. Mac would have laughed at his timing if he didn't feel like he might pass out again any second - and, with a start, he realised it had been a long while since he last wanted to laugh. Maybe it was the overwhelming relief of seeing that Jack hadn't been an illusion, and that he hadn't died on Mac like everyone else.

"Welcome back," Riley ground out in direction of Bozer, "now fucking help me get Jack see reason."

This time, Mac snorted, thinking back on the same line being used against him not too long ago. Like father like daughter, wasn't it? Riley and Jack called his name with the same obvious joy and relief on their faces, and Mac smiled - a tiny, insecure, but finally there smile.

[ignaziosearring]

I have a request that isn't xmas or new year's eve themed (it can be tho) it's about the song El Reloj, it is a beautiful song that I love so much from the boys. It is in Spanish so I don't know if it is possible. I like your imagines very much!! Specially the Ignazio ones🙈

This is not where i explain why i have been so silent over the past few months. This is where i announce that I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND I’VE MISSED WRITING SOOO MUCH! Hopefully, I’ll be much more active from now on as i try to balance everything with uni.

I have been writing this story for about 4 months, going on and off, deleting and starting again. It’s *too* long, like 1600ish long, but i think it needed this length. The topic is a *bit* dramatic (trigger warning), bc you know me😇. Also please allow me to dedicate it to my uncle who passed away on Sunday bc of cancer.

I’M BACK PEOPLE PASS IT ON! LIKE/REBLOG/COMMENT!

Xx

~•~

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

The transparent liquid was falling in drops from the IV bag to a small cylinder. The drops were synchronized with the shrill beeping sound coming from the heart monitor. The door opened and let a cold breeze sweep inside the room. It took a worryingly high amount of energy to lift my hands and rub my arms. It took more time too. The bones felt heavy and numb. The side effects of morphine. At least the pain was bearable, even for the ultimate hours.

“Are you cold?”

Gianluca had come inside. The glass window reflected his tired figure. His eyes were red and swollen, a sign he had been crying again. Before reaching this stage I would have thought this as an oxymoron. Gianluca was healthy, young and beautiful. He would live a long and happy life. He wasn’t dependent on anyone or anything. He wasn’t in constant and unstoppable pain. He wasn’t counting down the remaining months, days, hours. He didn’t see the last glimmers of hope wash away in one frown of a doctor. Yet he was the one crying.

“Let me cover you.”

His moves were careful and balanced, as always.

“They’re trying to tackle the heat wave with the air conditioning.”

Smalltalk. He was poorly attempting -and failing- to avoid the issue that had risen a barrier between us the past two weeks. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. I observed him carefully in silence. His body was tense as he sat down on the chair beside me.

Then, I turned my head to the window again and were confronted with my miserable reality. A body that was fighting itself. Flesh ashen, paler than a ghost, lanced here and there for various medical exams, hanging on bones. A red scarf was covering the bald head. Soul and mind twisted by a sickness that had come all too quickly to end a life in its blooming days. I couldn’t recognize myself in that reflection. I was long gone. The word “terminal” had been vibrating in my ears and hunting me in my nightmares every night.

“There’s no moon tonight. Only the stars.”

He too had turned his gaze to the window. I glanced at the sky and realized that stars would start falling soon. That special night of every year. The magnificent phenomenon that ten years ago had become the reason we had met.

“Gian.”

Our eyes met momentarily for the first time in a long while.

“Don’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“Wish that the medicine won’t work.”

His initial surprise was replaced by guilt.

“You haven’t made peace with my decision, Gian.”

I wasn’t angry, on the contrary I was smiling understandingly at him.

“Wha- why do you say that?”

He was stuttering and nervously running his fingers through his hair, like a young boy caught doing a mischief.

“You were crying, you can’t stand looking at me for more than two seconds and you’re trying to avoid talking about it by making damn smalltalk. You are angry.”

The outburst that followed was exactly what I was hoping for. I knew him better than anyone, he always bottled up his feelings and let them torment him. I didn’t want to leave him in anger along with everything else.

He jumped up and kicked his chair hard, fresh tears already visible.

“Of course I’m angry! Tonight I have to say goodbye to the love of my life! I’m angry at God, the universe or whatever it is that is out there. How can they be so cruel? Who gave them the right to do this to you? To us? It shouldn’t have been like that. We should have been old, very old, with grandchildren or even great grandchildren. You are too young to die.”

The raised voice and rapid flow of speech, the spitting of words gave their place to a sorrowful whisper.

“It’s too soon to say goodbye.”

He had slid down the door and had folded his body, his face buried in his hands.

“Gian, I know it’s not only that you are angry with. Say it. It will liberate you. It will liberate me.”

He raised his face slowly and gazed at me. His look was filled with regret, wrath, sorrow, pain. His lips were pouted.

“No.”

His answer was firm now.

“I don’t want to fight in our last day.”

“And I don’t want to go without making things right between us.”

A piercing look was enough to convince him to sit again beside me.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m angry at you? Yes, (y/n), I am angry at you, here, you have it. You, you gave up. On yourself, on our relationship, on me.”

“I didn’t. I am not giving up right now. This medicine is not giving up”, I pointed at the IV.

“If I had given up we would have been having this conversation 6 months ago. I didn’t give up when the doctor said terminal, nor when he said that all I had left was eight painful, excruciating, humiliating, inhumane months. I didn’t give up when the first clinical trial you managed to get me on failed. Nor the second, the third, the forth. I didn’t give up even though the only thing I gained from those trials was more pain, all while losing my mind cell by cell. I did it for you. I saw the determination in your expression to prove the doctors wrong, the sleep deprived eyes that had spent innumerable nights going through research by research, the contacts with pioneer oncologists from all around the world to get me on their trials or suggest a different, more promising medical plan.”

Speaking for that long was exhausting and made me burst into coughs. His look softened and became worried as he gave me some water.

“Then why are you doing this now? Even if we couldn’t get you on another clinical trial, we would still have two months, just the two of us. We would go home, spend those two months together. We would have more time!”

His voice came out as an exasperated whisper. One last hopeless beg.

“We wouldn’t.”

I was firm. I looked him in the eyes and finally spoke my truth.

“You need to understand Gian. This is not me. This is not the (y/n) you met, fell in love with and married.”

He tried to stop me but I raised my palm firmly and continued decisively.

“I can’t even bear to look at my reflection on the window. And when I do, when I do I can barely recognize myself in there. Do you think it’s easy for me? Don’t you think I want more time? I wanted to grow old with you and bear your children. I wanted to achieve all the dreams I had ever since I can remember myself. God knows how hard I wish for more time. Even when I signed that paper. Even now. But not like this. This is something I can’t keep going through.”

“(Y/n)…”

He burst iinto tears. The body mechanism to get one’s pain roll down and wipe away. I started crying too. He understood. I knew he understood, otherwise he wouldn’t have let himself pull apart in front of me. He knew I had to do it.

“It’s better this way Gian. I know it’s already painful enough for you to see me wash away all these months. This will save you at least some pain. You’ll see me go down sane enough. A good comander knows when they’ve lost the war, isn’t this what they’re saying?”

He chuckled and took a deep breath to gain his composure.

“Come here lay beside me.”

We laid on our sides and hungrily looked each other in the eyes. Our sobs were quieting down.

“Gian”, i began, “I want you to promise me something.”

His expression darkened again.

“Don’t say it.”

“Listen to me. I know it hurts but you need to. After tonight you’ll be alone. I don’t want grief to blind you. Take your time to cry, to unleash the emotions that are meddling with your mind. But don’t waste this gift you were so graciously given. Don’t let your life perish. Live Gian. Do you remember my favourite movie?”

“Dead poets’ society…”

“Professor Keating fought to teach those children to seize the day, Gian. All the nights I couldn’t sleep because of the pain I’d go back in time and realise that i let so many days go by in vain. Our worst sin is that we think we are immortal. We always think there will be enough time to do everything we want, someday. But there comes a time that you are faced with the fact that you can’t. It’s too late. The clock is running out of battery and will stop ticking soon. All you have accomplished seems too little, all your dreams become missed opportunities, just because you thought you would achieve them later. There is no «later», Gian, only «now».”

I touched his cheek where a tear was rolling down.

“Don’t let my memory hunt you. Remember me with love, treasure our moments, but move on.”

“I… I can’t,” he mumbled, looking away, “you are the one for me.”

“I can’t be, Gian. You are the one for me, but I’m not. Otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. Somewhere out there is a very lucky girl that will capture your heart. And I will be more than happy when you meet her.”

He closed his eyes tightly to fight his tears.

“Don’t die with me tonight, Gian. Just promise me this.”

He didn’t say anything. He just nodded with his eyes still closed.

For me, it was enough.

He hugged me and helped me turn around. Like the past 10 years, we looked at the exploding stars leaving their last mark on the universe. I made one wish. I felt free. And then…

Salvation.

[ecotone99]

[RF] Wake Me Up

Waking up, Lewis noticed how much of a beautiful day today was, he didn’t know this would be the last time for a while that he’d think that. He got up and dressed, then left for the unemployment office as he had for the past couple weeks. It had been eight months since the steel mill had closed and he still wasn’t able to find any work at all. Lewis began the thirty-minute walk to the office, he could no longer afford gas to run his car. He reached Main Street of his town, the tourists visiting Indianapolis were gone so it was very quiet this time of year. Only a few hundred people remained in Greenfield through the winter. Lewis turned the corner and saw the office, it was in the tallest building of the town, only three stories. As he opened the door warm air rushed out, he hustled in and jogged down a flight of stairs to the basement. The basement was dimly lit with overhead panel lights, the flickered as Lewis walked to the door labeled ‘Greenfield Job Center’. He hated this building, it reminded him of school, he didn’t want to be there then as much as in his teen years. But that’s how he was in this mess, he had dropped out to work in the mill, now he was paying for that decision. Lewis knew the social workers here well, over the past few months they could only get him a couple of temporary jobs, he didn’t have much hope that today would be different. As he walked in he was greeted by Amy, the social worker on duty today. She had a beaming smile as always.

She popped up from her seat to greet Lewis as he walked in, “Good morning Lewis, how are you!”

“Any jobs today Amy?” Lewis replied, there wasn’t much for him to be enthusiastic about these days. “As a matter of fact, I’ve got something today. I’m not sure if it’ll be a good fit for you though.” “I can decide that, what is it?” He needed money badly and really didn’t care where it came from. “Well, it’s a medical experiment of sorts. The government is testing a new anesthetic,” she paused for a second to try to read Lewis’ expression. “You’d be put to sleep by an injection, kept under for about an hour or two, then you’ll wake up and be on your way” “Well, how much are they paying?” This was his deciding factor on every job he was offered, “No point in working all day for next to nothing” He always thought to himself when searching for all of his odd jobs he worked. “Fifteen thousand dollars” Amy grinned, she knew this was a fortune for him. “What’s the catch?” This was such an easy job, why would they come to a small town and offer so much money for such a simple and short experiment. “Is it gonna kill me?” “Well there’s always that small risk when trying new drugs, of course, you’ll get a list of possible problems from the doctors” “Why not? I’ve really got nothing to lose” he knew this money could hold him over for four or five months. A luxury of financial stability he took for granted when he still had work. “Great! I’ll let them know that you’re interested.” She was happy for him, $15k was what she made four months, anyone in Greenfield would be a fool not to take a job like this, it wasn’t a wealthy town. “So... when would this happen?” Lewis was anxious to sign up before someone else took his space. “It could happen as soon as later today.” The doctors want to do this as soon as possible of course. The faster they get testing done, the faster they can get it to hospitals and the faster they can start making money off of it. “Okay, well I guess I won't be needing to see you for a while!” Lewis remarked as he stood up to leave. “Don't be a stranger!” Amy replied as he strutted out the door.

At the hospital, a room had already been set up when Lewis arrived. It was only 11:45 so Lewis expected a lengthy wait. After ten minutes two doctors walked in and brought him to a changing room, then led him to the operation room. There was a chair to sit in and all of the various medical equipment set up. An IV bag was set up next to the chair, there was a dark purple liquid inside, he assumed it was the anesthetic. The doctors began explaining the procedure that was to take place. This new medicine was to be injected. After a few seconds he should feel woozy and after thirty seconds to a minute, he would be out cold. There would be an hour where his vital signs would be kept under constant watch to make sure the medicine is working fine. An antidote would be given after the hour and he would be set to leave soon afterward. Lewis was handed a waiver to sign. Among this waiver, there was a list of possible side effects. The major side effects were most commonly hallucinations, anxiety, and the possibility of memory problems among the other test patients. Lewis eagerly signed the waiver and passed it back to one of the doctors. He laid back, and the doctors went to work. He could feel a cold cloth on the crease of his elbow as the doctors sanitized the injection spot. He felt a sharp prick as if he were getting a flu shot as the IV went in. He could see the purple liquid crawl down the tube towards his arm. As it entered he could feel its cold presence within his veins, he grit his teeth, it was such a foreign feeling to him. His eyes began to feel as if they were made of steel, and before he knew it he was completely out cold. Lewis forced his eyes open. Instant confusion befell him when he realized he was in his bed. Not at the hospital but rather at his home. Somehow he had traveled all the way from the hospital to his house. “Must be a side effect of the medicine,” he muttered to himself. He made himself a late lunch before sitting down. Today he would celebrate finally having money since he was laid off. So off he went to go to the corner store by his house and get some drinks to party tonight. Something was off-putting to Lewis but he couldn’t understand what. It seemed as if the entire population of the town was gone, even though it was winter there should be some activity. “People should be getting out of work around this time,” he thought “the few people who still have jobs in this town.” Not only were there no cars around but there was also no clerk at the corner store. Lewis took a bottle of gin and left a twenty on the counter. At this point, he knew something was up. He was regretting not reading the entire list of side effects, the thought of “This is just the medicine.” kept going through his mind. When he returned home he just wanted to relax. He didn’t bother to grab a shot glass, he lived alone so what reason did he have not to drink straight from the bottle? He took a swig of the drink. He loved the burning feeling of the alcohol on his throat. He flicked on the TV, put on DVD and crashed down into his chair. He took a few more gulps of his gin and could feel himself becoming tipsy. He finished about half the bottle before he passed out.

Lewis jolted awake. He wasn’t in his chair anymore. In fact, he had no clue where he was. His eyes refused to open almost the same as when he first awoke from the medication. When he looked around, through the haze he could see that he as within a forest. The forest floor was covered in a fog which when he stood up came to his knees. The sky was overcast and gloomy, the wind blew the high branches of the tree about. Lewis’ heart was racing, “How did I get here. Where even is here?” Lewis stumbled about trying to find anything that could point him in the direction of Greenfield. A sharp pang of fear went through his spine, there were no forests by Greenfield, only small clusters of trees here and there. Lewis panicked and ran. He had no clue where he was going but he definitely didn’t want to be here. The terrain was extremely tough to navigate as the two feet of fog made it impossible to see where or what he was stepping on. He constantly was tripped up by various roots and rocks but kept running. Eventually, his foot slammed into root sticking from the ground, invisible to Lewis. He plowed headfirst into a tree and was knocked out cold. Lewis slowly came to consciousness. The ground felt cold as if made of metal and he could hear the wind howling as he came to. He pulled his eyes open, “What in the world...?” He was no longer in a forest but rather what appeared to be a construction site. As Lewis stumbled to get up huge gusts of wind continuously tried to push him back down, the air was frigid. He scanned his surroundings to try to see if he could figure out what was going on. He could see he was on top of what looked to be an unfinished building, he couldn’t see another building around. Lewis stood up and hesitantly. He walked to one of the corners of the site. He froze as he approached the edge, “I’ve gotta be at least 200 ft up!” Lewis was in a terror, he hated heights. He turned to walk away, he could figure out a way down AFTER he was away from the edge. As Lewis turned to get back to where he had been when he had woken up a huge gust of wind blew into him and his footing slipped. Lewis vainly thrust his arms out to try to reach anything to keep him from going over the edge. Nothing was within his grasp as he tumbled over the side of the building. This was Lewis’ nightmare, pure fear was going through his mind. He knew he was going to die. Lewis could see the empty street closer and closer until after what felt like minutes he hit the ground and everything went black. Lewis jolted awake and gasped, “What the hell is happening?” Again Lewis was not where he was before, which was especially fortunate because if he were he would have been dead. He could feel that he was moving at remarkable speeds, which worried him though. As his eyes cleared up he could tell that was driving the car, not just riding in one. He could feel the cool leather of the steering wheel between his fingers. The lines on the road seemed to blur into one line, he knew he was going fast. He looked down a the speedometer, 183 mph. Lewis had never gone this fast, nor did he want to. He slammed his foot onto the brake pedal, or where it was supposed to be. He looked down below the wheel. There were no pedals in this car. In the midst of this though, there was a moment of clarity for Lewis. He remembered his other experiences where he had been knocked out or even died. “This is a dream just like last time,” he thought. He felt calm. He calmly took a deep breath and jerked the wheel hard to the right. Lewis opened his eyes. Hopefully this time he would just wake up for real instead of another dream. He felt a glimmer of hope as he opened his eyes and saw a hospital room. He could see into the operation room, which a patient was in under anesthetic. A feeling of dread went down his spine, could see himself. The doctors were in a panic trying to apply the antidote. Lewis could see that his heart rate and blood pressure were extremely low on the monitor, although he felt fine as he was watching this. “We knew this might happen,” one of the masked doctors told another. “That doesn’t matter. What went wrong? We can’t lose him or we’ll lose our funding along with him. Every other patient was fine with this, what was different here?” the second doctor said with dismay. She knew the chance of getting their drug approved for use was quite low if they couldn’t save him. They had spent their entire career on this drug and didn’t want one anomaly to ruin the whole thing. Their attempts to try to get Lewis back seemed to be failing as the heart rate monitor slowly ticked down. The doctors got more and more frantic. Lewis heard the dreadful beep of the heart monitor as it flatlined. The doctors tried the defibrillators to try to restart his heart. Lewis could feel a pulsating pain every time he heard the electric zap of the paddles. Slowly, Lewis felt off, he leaned on the wall to keep himself from falling over. Suddenly a feeling of terror washed over him as he vainly began gasping for air. He started to feel woozy as he continued desperately choking for air. His vision began to shrink as he collapsed to the floor and blacked out. Lewis jerked awake, he was covered in sweat. He could hear gunfire in the distance. Other men ran into the bunker Lewis had been sleeping in and were struggling to grab their guns and equipment. Lewis knew this wasn’t a dream anymore. He groggily sat up to get ready, the war had done a number on him, and he knew that he was almost at his breaking point. He had night terrors like this every day for the past two weeks. Lewis tried to forget about it as he grabbed his weapon and ran to join his comrades, he had only one thing to focus on - survival.

submitted by /u/James-Bonk [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2uD7RJt