#its nice to have a space you can be loud and kinda cringe on and not care about people you know who already have a certain opinion of you

[isabelguerra]

i have like 2k followers on my main including several irl friends so when i come on here and rave about semiobscure bands and dorky aus and farfetched theories its like. its like a little babushka doll. i have my blog that im not normal on but havent been very personal on in years, and then i have my pnat sideblog where i go every night before beddy bye and expel everything in my brain on. my main followers know about my dating life but i would sooner die than let them know i have a harry potter au. you all know the intricate workings of my harry potter au but i would sooner die before telling you about my dating life. and then i have a couple other smaller blogs aside from that where i do post other niches. im all split up. im like a busted up wight

[katyasrussianaccent]

you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15. 

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker. 

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single. 

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.” 

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do. 

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”. 

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks. 

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers. 

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.” 

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in. 

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it. 

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time. 

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts. 

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar. 

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for. 

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else. 

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.” 

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen;  Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that. 

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you. 

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body.  You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?” 

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement. 

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you. 

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task. 

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were. 

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list. 

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?” 

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit. 

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!” 

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands. 

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior  @cherry-piee @mirahg  @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02 

[lordabovehelpme]

The Proposal- Din Djarin x Reader

Request: Din proposing to Reader like in the movie The Proposal 😆- @along-the-lines-of-space

A/n: Wait! This is such a cute idea. I kinda strayed from the movie plot and made my own, so hopefully, you like it! I love you, darling!!! 

Summary: You and the Mandalorian have to play husband and wife to capture your next bounty. But major things start to show and come to light.

Warnings: some foul language. But that’s it. :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Don’t you walk all menacingly like! I had no other option!” You storm after the broody Mandalorian, your hands waving in the air as they try to demonstrate your thoughts.

He just growls as he continues walking to the ship.

“Did you have a better idea?” You give him a minute to respond and when he says nothing, you lift your head a little higher. “No, just what I thought. All I care about is the fact that we are going to get this bounty thanks to me!”

He twirls around suddenly and stalks towards you. Instinctively, you want to shy away and you have to bite down a squeak. But you keep your ground and glare right into his visor, hoping his stupid eyes will feel your hatred.

The abyss of his visor stares hard and cold into your soul. And you stare back. Hard.

But he just sighs and turns away. For whatever reason, this just makes you even madder.

“No, you don’t get to walk away! Come back here!”

Then he speaks for the first time in the past hour.

“Get on your knee.”

Your face recoils in confusion, “What?”

He turns around and looks at you with a hidden smirk. “If you want to marry me, then ask. Get. On. Your. Knee.”

Your mouth hangs open in shock at the audacity of him.

“No.”

“Looks like we’re out two thousand credits then.”

Cursing, you hate that he’s right. You both need this money. Greef had said that if you wanted this high of a bounty then the two of you would have to somehow get to the bounty's wedding. In a sudden burst of creativity, you declared that the two of you would play a newlywed couple. You’ve never seen his helmet turn so quickly.

You seethe as you fall to your knee. “I hate you.”

“That’s not the right word, dear.” He stands smugly as he puts emphasis on the pet name. His arms cross over his chest and he leans his weight onto one leg.

You mentally stab him about five times before sighing. “Mando…”

He hums, amusement laced in his voice.

“Will you,” a smirk works its way onto your face, “the love of my life, my sweet sweet puppy. I will never be able to live without you.”

His weight shifts back to be centered.

“I cannot go another day without asking you this.” Your hands clutch over your heart as you bat your eyelashes at him.

“Get on with it.” The amusement is no longer there.

“Will you make me the happiest person in the world and…” You intentionally stop, seeing just how long you can draw this out before he snaps.

“Ask the god damn question.”

Ah, not as long as you thought. But alas, the show must go on. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, now get up and walk faster. Maybe if you run you can keep up.”

***

All those couples you see smiling at each other make marriage look like a dream come true.

But these past few days have been hell. Literal hell.

Clinging to his arm and smiling as people talk to you. Having to hold his gloved hand that is way too large to be anatomically correct. Making up scenarios of how you both met, of your first kiss, of your own wedding day.

If the ground opened up and swallowed you, you’d probably say thank you.

As for now, you’re sitting next to him at the large table you’re all having the rehearsal dinner at. Surprisingly, the bounty seems to be a nice guy. You can tell he loves his soon-to-be husband, and that he loves him as well. You’d never think that he used to be an imperial spy.

“Oh, you two are so cute!” An older lady from across the table smiles at you.

You smile back and thank her, squeezing the Mandalorian’s arm. His visor turns to look at where you did, then rises up to meet your gaze. His hand moves over and squeezes your thigh.

Grabbing his wrist, you bring his hand back above the table and offer the lady another smile.

She giggles and leans forward, “You have as much fun as you want, I won’t tell.”

It takes everything in you not to cringe as you slowly nod your head and turn back to the Mandalorian.

His shoulders slightly shake and you just know he’s softly laughing under that helmet.

“Don’t laugh.” You whisper at him.

“But honey, why don’t we go back and have some fun.”

You glare at him, but then you get his idea. “Shhh, don’t say it so loud.” You both rise from the table and slide outside the restaurant, but not without the older lady sending you another wink.

As soon as the fresh air nips at your skin, you lean over in loud laughter. “Oh my goodness, I can’t.”

His vocoder cracks as his own laughs filter through. It’s a strong handsome laugh, one that is contagious and makes you stare at him with awe. In all honesty, you weren’t sure he knew how to laugh.

***

A knock sounds on your door and you rise up immediately. Crap! Mando is on the floor, that won’t look good to anyone. Grabbing anything you can, you throw it at the sleeping warrior.

Thump!

The first pillow does nothing.

Thump!

The second heavier one makes a louder sound but still draws no response from him.

The knocks sound again.

“Coming, just one second!”

You grab whatever you can and…

Clank!

You cringe as the water bottle hits him directly on the helmet.

He instantly rises and then the knocks sound again. Catching onto the problem, he stands up and starts throwing everything back on the bed.

You mean to help, but those strong golden thighs distract you. What you would give to be able to run your hand over those muscles and feel them ripple beneath your touch.

What you would give?

Nothing! You hate him! He’s annoying and snores loudly.

Shaking your head, you make the bed presentable and pretend to have just woken up as he opens the door.

“Hi!” The bounty’s fiancé peaks his head in. “Just wanted to let you all know that my mom made cinnamon rolls, I would get down there before they are gone. He offers a smile to you before walking back out into the hall.

You have no idea why, but the fiancé has taken a liking to the two of you. It almost makes you sad to collect his husband.

The Mandalorian turns to you and starts to grab his clothes and armor, dressing himself.

Suddenly you realize that if you both go down he’ll be unable to eat the cinnamon rolls. You play with the end of your shirt, the edges fraying from many years of you sleeping in it. “You know…” his visor looks up to you, “I can go get a couple and bring them back. That way you can try one and I’ll take a shower.”

Why did you say that? He’s not going to care. He’ll probably just laugh at you. In fact, why do you care?

He slowly nods his head after a minute. “That’d be nice.”

***

The hot water pours down onto your back and yet you can’t help but to ponder about the man outside the door. He’s out there, with his helmet off.

You’ve never cared about this before, but you start to wonder what he looks like. Does he have a soft boyish face or one of a hardened warrior? Is his hair a dark black or a light blond? What about his skin, is it light and fair, or deep and brown?

Thoughts run through your mind as you wrap the fluffy towel around yourself. Then you catch your reflection in the mirror. Since when have you had a small smile on your face?

Shaking your head, you slide your clothes on and open the door. You’re met with the back of a head, brown hair curly and shaggy rested atop a strong golden neck. Before you can even process what you’re seeing, you slam the door shut and lock yourself in the bathroom.

A soft knock sounds on the door. You slowly open it and keep your eyes trained on the floor. “I-, I only saw the back of your head, sorry.” Your body deflates as your shoulders drop in shame.

“It’s okay, but I need to pee.”

“Oh.” You shuffle out of the room and as soon as the door shuts you fling yourself onto the bed. Grabbing a pillow you press it against your face and scream. Why do these things always happen to you? 

Why does his hair have to look so perfect to run your fingers through? Why does his neck have to be that perfect golden brown that you want to kiss? Why does he have to be so handsome?

***

As the wedding approaches, you have started to see the fierce warrior in a new light. He offers to help old ladies up stairs and jokes with the other young men. When asked about you, he speaks with so much adoration you have started to forget that he doesn’t actually love you.

Maybe you’re just being hyperaware, but he seems to always be watching you. When you turn your head to him, he already has his visor trained on you. Even when you’re across the room conversing with others he always has an eye on you.

His voice has become softer, losing the gruff edge it once held. The underlying anger having melted into a warm glow that surprised you both. A small smile seems to have made its home on both your faces, only leaving when one another isn’t around.

As the two of you lay awake, you on the bed, and the Mandalorian on the floor, you break the silence.

“I can’t do it.”

The Mandalorian makes no response, so you continue.

“I can’t take him. You’ve seen how happy they are together. How big they smile for one another and how their eyes soften. Sure he may have once been a spy but he’s changed. I mean since then his record is nearly perfect. I don’t want to be the one who tears his happiness away.”

Again, your companion says nothing.

“I know we need the money, so I can pull some strings and we can work stuff out. You won’t have to do anything, but I can’t let either of us come between them. I know it may be cheesy but what they have is a pure and true love.”

You fade back to silence, staring up at the dark ceiling and contemplating everything you just said.

“Okay.”

***

The wedding is big and bright. Garlands of beautiful flowers hang everywhere, matching the candles and lights perfectly.

And as the two men say their vows, you can’t help but entangle your arm around the Mandalorians. A single tear falls from your eye as you notice the way they look at one another. With so much passion and devotion, it’s the kind of love people wish for.

You don’t know it, but the Mandalorian's eyes don’t watch the two lovers, they instead watch you.

It’s in this moment that he finally understands why his heart swells when you’re around. He understands why he always needs to make sure you’re safe and sound. He understands why everything in him screams to wipe away your tears and hold you close.

Because he loves you.

***

You sit in silence, the Mandalorian piloting the Crest and you to his right. As the Crest falls into autopilot he turns to look at you.

When you meet his visor, you offer him a smile. “That was beautiful. I mean did you see how amazing the decor team did.”

He only nods heart heavy with anxiety.

You continue talking about all the aspects you loved, from the color scheme to the cake. But you stop when his hand rests on your own.

Tension lays thick between the two of you, suffocating and intense. You don't miss the way his adam apple bobs as he clears his throat.

“I- last week I was so furious at you. I loathed you. But, as we had to pretend things started to change. But…” his hand squeezes your own as you look up at him with wide eyes, “I didn’t realize any of this until I saw you on the wedding day. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. And as you shed your tears I wanted nothing more than to be able to wipe them away and promise you comfort.”

He slides off the chair to rest on his knees before you.

“So, please… marry me. Because I want to be able to make you as happy as that bounty, I want to stand before you and say my vows with the pretty lights and amazing garlands. I want you.”

Your jaw hangs open as you draw on hand to cover it. Water wells up at the corner of your eyes as you replay his words over in your head.

Nodding your head frantically, you fall into his hold, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close. “Yes… yes yes yes.”

One of his hands cups the back of your head while the other snakes around your waist. He chuckles as all his anxieties fade away.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah I hope you liked it! 

Please consider reblogging or leaving a comment. I love hearing what you all have to say. 

Love, Lordy :) 

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[starsandstormyseas]

First Kiss Prompt

@charmanderisacutie “We can take things slow” as you requested :P

————

Her hands shook.

Mia knew going to the party was a bad idea. Aside from the fact that parties in general were just not her thing, she had a sneaking suspicion that she wouldn’t respond well to loud thumping music and screaming teenagers and more gross smells than not filling up the space. Mostly weed but also some very not-fun bodily fluids, too.

Least to say it got a little too much and she had to step out onto the only way out — the fire escape, which was thankfully empty. Mia hadn’t been able to remember where the front door was. Her headache pounded against her skull, nerves frayed at the ends.

Mia closed her eyes, rested her head against the cool metal of the fire escape railing. Would it be rude to leave? She doubted anyone at Flash’s party would notice.

“Hey, are you okay?” The voice jolted Mia from her thoughts. She looked up, surprised to see Matt halfway out the window, frowning in concern.

“I-I’m fine,” she mumbled, not wanting to draw attention to herself — but Matt was already climbing the rest of the way out, settling down next to her, legs dangling through the metal bars. “You don’t have to miss out because of me.”

“Who said I’m missing out?” Matt replied with an easy smile, completely unburdened. “Grey Goose isn’t really my kind of drink. And besides, its not like I know anyone in there.”

That was true. Most of the kids were from Midown, which Matt didn’t go to. “Then why’d you come?”

Matt blinked, as if he hadn’t considered that, then looked back at her. “Well, I mean, I know you, right? What more do I need?”

“Oh,” Mia said, surprised, and a warmth filled her cheeks. Was that flirting? Or was he just being nice? She could never be sure with Matt — he was nice to everyone. Not a mean bone in his body. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have told you about it. I’m not much fun at parties.”

“Hey, that’s alright,” he chuckled, leaning against the railing so our heads were aligned. “Parties aren’t everything. It’s just nice to see you out in the wild again.”

Mia tucked her hands under her arms so he wouldn’t see her hands still shaking. Perhaps too late, because Matt’s brows furrowed slightly, and he asked again, “Are you sure you’re alright, Mia?”

“Yeah, I’m good, totally fine,”

“Because, I mean, if this isn’t your scene,” Matt said, hooking a thumb over his shoulder at the party. “We could go do something else, like, go see a movie or something. Or just, uh, you know, ice cream, walk in the park, things totally normal people do at midnight —”

Matt didn’t get a chance to finish, because Mia had leaned in and kissed him. She didn’t know why — the instinct had overtaken her before she could give it a second thought. And Mia wasn’t the kind to kiss first. Or ever. But there was something about him, about Matt, that she couldn’t deny anymore.

And almost immediately regretted it.

Mia pulled back so quickly, Matt barely had time to respond. Face hot, she was already stammering an apology before he could get a word out. “S-sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean it.”

She cringed inwardly at the last sentence, a terrible lie. It must have been obvious because Matt’s eyebrows show up. “Well, um, no offense, but it kinda felt like you meant it.”

Mia squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head against the metal railing. Damn damn damn. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t — I’m not —”

“Did you like it?” Matt asked, a question that surprised her.

Mia paused, and found that she couldn’t lie. She bit her lip. “…Yeah.”

“Well,” Matt began slowly, as if picking his words very carefully. “I did too. And maybe — just maybe! — I really meant it when I said I’d take you out to eat. But no pressure or anything.”

Oh, so he was flirting. Mia can’t help but laugh a little, maybe relieved to finally have that question answered. But that old guilt, ugly and deep, rose its head again. “I’d love to, but I— I can’t.”

“Why not? You’re not allowed to date?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Mia is pretty sure Aunt May would be over the moon if Mia started dating. Wouldn’t get enough of it. “It’s just… I’m scared, that’s all. The last relationship I had… didn’t end well.”

He ended up with a bullet in his shoulder. From her gun. Mia shuddered at the memory.

But then Matt took her hand, fingers still cold and shaking; his voice drawing her back to the present moment, warm and soft. “Hey, it’s okay. Look, its not like we’re diving into the deep end here. We can just take it slow. Feel it out, you know?”

Mia opened her eyes again, and meeting his dark gaze. Despite her fearful instincts telling her no, Mia couldn’t help but smile a little, her hand squeezing back. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[ggukkiedae]

[vlive 210522] Seri’s Seritonin 🥝🐱

9pm kst

italics = english; seri answering questions!

the vlive starts with seri logging on and waving

she’s playing new rules in the background and staying quiet for the first two minutes

“moa! how are you all?”

she smiles and reads through the comments

she reads a few out loud and sees a few comments asking her to say i love you in different languages, to which she complies to

she turns off her music first and fixes herself in her chair

“bet you guys are wondering why i’m live today, huh? we’ll get to that in a bit. for now, let’s answer questions”

she looks through the comments carefully until she reads one out loud

Seriiiiiii! 5 Beomgyus or 5-year-old Beomgyu?

she laughs at this

“maybe a five year old bammie. he always makes a big deal of being older than me by a few months, so it would be good pay back”

she then pulls out her phone and scrolls through it before turning it towards the screen. it was a picture of beomgyu as a kid

“see this? he sent this to our groupchat the other day. tiny gyu is cute”

how are youuuuuu?

she claps her hands together and smiles at the live

“i’m doing great, thank you! i’ve been practicing harder, and i feel pretty good”

she scrolls through the comments again and takes a sip of her drink. she lightly mixes her drink around and places it back down

“you guys should try peach tea. it’s a godsend. oh, what’s this?”

shall we go on a date?

“you didn’t turn up at our last date”

she pouted a little and laughed

“i waited at the rooftop for a while, but you didn’t show up! but i guess we can go again because you’re moa”

she shifts a little and shakes her head amusedly at her own words

“do i sound like gyu?”

Hi Seri! I have a couple questions 😊 What has been your favorite era music wise and style wise? What hair style/color do you want to try? What's your current favorite song? What are you looking forward to most?

her eyes widened a little before she looks up trying to come up with answers to the series of questions

“oh, wow, i guess you could say i really liked our songs from the minisode album, but my favorite title track is run away for sure. actually, i take that back. i like the songs on dream chapter magic the most! in terms of style... dream chapter magic as well! i really like new rules’ styling especially”

a small smile makes its way to her face as she’s about to answer the last question from that comment

“right now, i’m really looking forward to our new album, and i hope you’ll like it as well! so far, the tracks are amazing!”

any plans for a comeback with the royals?

“i don’t know” she laughs and looks off camera “what do you think?”

yoonmi’s giggle can be heard while seri just laughed

“you exposed me! anyway, we’ll see when the three of us get an opportunity again” “you guys heard yoonmi”

seri takes the live and points it to the side, revealing the magenta-haired girl peacefully sitting in the dance studio near her while working on something on her laptop

“yoonmi is working on school stuff even if she just released a song yesterday” “responsibilities”

Seri baby are you aware that Seri sounds like berry? Therefore you are now berry Seri or Seri Berry 🤔

“oh, that’s cute! seri berry... i love it! i’m a berry now! i can replace strawberries, i don’t like strawberries”

she wrinkled her nose at the thought of the red berries as the sound of a chair moving came up. seri looked off camera and waved to, supposedly, yoonmi

“yoonmi has a meeting right now, so she’s off. anyway, back to our live”

Hiya Seri how are you liking the new building? What do you think has changed the most about you since you became an idol? And out of the members who do you think has changed most since you debuted?

“the new building is actually the best thing ever, i swear! there’s a lot of space, and the facilities are all high quality! honestly, i’m the only txt member who doesn’t get lost, so it’s pretty funny when the others have to ask for my help to walk around”

she then pressed her lips into a tight line while thinking about her next answer

“since becoming an idol... i think i became more confident. the others tell me this a lot. they say every comeback my stage presence gets better, and i look more comfortable? i also became a better dancer for sure. not the best yet, but i’m working on it. also maybe kai? first of all, he’s gotten way taller now. second, he’s been more mature. yes, he’s still our baby, but he handles things a lot more maturely now. sometimes he acts like he’s older than me as well”

hi bestieeeeeee! what do you think you’d be doing if you weren’t an idol?

“hey, bestie! musical theatre for sure!”

seri immediately perked up at this. she jumped back in her seat a little with the biggest grin while remembering her experiences

“i loved it back in school! honestly, my parents were pretty supportive about my involvement in theatre and my little brother kinda brags to his friends that his sister goes on stages to perform. it’s kinda cute”

would you consider acting? or maybe starring in a musical?

“oh for sure if i were given the chance!”

you dance amazingly! your artist of the month video with studio choom was absolutely perfect!!!!

“oh my god”

she covered her face and groaned before pulling out her phone and looking for the video on youtube. before pressing play, she looked back to the camera

“thank you, but i’m a little embarrassed about this. i wore red lipstick on stage for the first time after debut, and i showed a side of me that’s pretty different…”

she pressed play and watched the video, cringing at herself. it took a whole 20 seconds before she gave up and hid her phone behind her

“nope. nevermind, i can’t watch that. thank you, i’m glad you enjoyed it”

thoughts on the people you’re being shipped with? 👀

she burst into laughter upon reading this

“ah, yes. shipping. i see you guys on stan twitter with your little edits and headcanons and aus! honestly, it’s amusing. apparently most of you ship me with gyu and seungmin? and a few other people, too?”

she was quiet for a while like thinking about who moas shipped her with. she shook her head with and began talking again

“gyu... well, bammie’s my best friend, and i love him a lot. it’s been us from the very beginning, so i like to think we’ll be as close as ever until the end”

“seungmin is the bane of my existence”

she laughed at this before waving her hand

“kidding! he’s actually really nice, and i love hanging out with him, it just so happens our friendship is based on bickering. we do support each other though. seungmin, if you see this, you did well on love poem”

she then lit up as if just remembering something

“some of you guys ship me with chaeryoung! interesting considering you all see me as ryujin’s sibling, but please, i’m not worthy of the queen herself. i love chae with all my heart honestly she’s such a sweet child”

her phone buzzed and she glanced at it a little bit before turning back to the live

“perfect timing because hyunsuk just messaged me and some special ship mentions are hyunsuk and jeno oppa. i think it’s because i hang out with hyunsuk’s little siblings a lot. but jeno oppa? we just met earlier this year, it’s a little funny how apparently a lot of people ship us when we haven’t really shown our friendship much”

she typed something one her phone before chuckling and shutting it off once again. she looked through the comments until she found the topic she was looking for

What’s up with you and Dino? 👀👀👀

“ah, this. this brings me to the reason i went live. recently, you guys have seen me and dino oppa hanging out, right? well, we’re not dating. i wanted it to be a surprise, but he’s helping me with something for my birthday, and i agreed to do something with him for their youtube as well”

her phone rang, and she laughed before picking it up and putting it on speaker

“hello? you’re on speaker” “seri-yah! how dare you deny our relationship?” “oh? you’re watching?” “look up, stupid. i’m standing by the door”

she looked off camera and laughed

“yah! oppa, what are you doing here?” “miya told me you were gonna talk about the scandal, so i thought why not come early?”

dino appears next to seri in a mask and a hat. he nudged seri over to the side so they could both be centered on screen, making her raise her eyebrow at him

“meet my new dance partner” dino points towards seri whose eyes widen as soon as he said that

“they don’t know yet!” “you said we were working on two things together!” “but they didn’t know one of them is dance!” “might as well tell them so we can clear up this rumor before i get attacked by moas”

she sighed at him

“i’d get attacked by carats. anyway, fine. dino oppa’s helping me with a song, and he’s making me dance with him for a video. you can look forward to this in july”

dino adjusted his hat and leaned forward a little

“no need to panic, we’re not in a romantic relationship. she’s too tall for me”

“... you’re literally taller than me though?” “not by that much. if you wear heels, we’d be the same height, and i don’t think i’m up for that”

she playfully rolled her eyes

“looks like i’ve discussed what needed to be cleared up now. i’m single. single.” “yes, they get the point” “oh, would you just go already?”

she was pretending to push him away while he laughed at her failed attempts. he moved off camera but stays in the room

“no way, we’ve got to work the choreography out today”

“this is gonna be a while,” she muttered before smiling at the live once again “well, time for me to go. i’ve got a lot of work to do to be on par with a member of seventeen’s performance team”

dino’s groaning could be heard from the side

“this again?”

she laughed

“bye moa! hopefully that cleared things up, and hopefully you enjoyed this little tmi session”

-end-

[mostlycompetentwriter]

“Back Door” (TMT Part 2)

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Han Jisung (SKZ); Some Mentions of Y/N x Bang Chan and Y/N x Changbin

Warnings: Language and Mature Content

Word Count: 5K

Genre: High School AU! Sequel!

Summary: In the grand scheme of things, Y/N should’ve known better than to expect everything to work out on its own. But is she ready to face the consequences of her actions?

A/N: Read TMT Here!!

The sun had barely peaked through the blinds when I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. 

It was both unexpected and jarring, and I winced at the dull, persistent ache, attempting to turn over onto my side, when I realized that I couldn’t because a strong grip was keeping me held in place. Then, there was nothing but dread overtaking the previous disorientation of my exhaustion, and I cringed when Jisung made a soft noise and pulled me even closer, burying his face against my shoulder.

“Shit!” I cursed under my breath, trying to free myself from his hold because the vestiges of panic were beginning to take root, and images from our previous night together were flying through my head at an exponential pace.

Holy shit! I slept with Jisung!

“Don’t think so hard, baby,” Jisung purred, and he was nipping playfully at the skin surrounding my collarbone.

The picture of confidence in contradiction to the shy little boy from the previous night who could barely keep his cock from falling out.

“I’m not,” I protested, even as I continued squirming around in his arms, feeling a shock travel up my spine when I accidentally felt his flaccid length against my thigh.

“Mmm,” Jisung murmured, breaths hot against my face as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my lip. “You still look pretty in the mornings.” He chuckled, reaching back with one hand to brush through his disastrous hair. “I’m sure I look like a mess.”

“Jisung,” I said as sternly as possible because I knew I needed to be forceful, to keep him from acting like this could be anything normal for us. Because he and I both needed to admit that this was a big mistake. “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Oh!” Jisung remarked, and I could breath a sigh of relief when he removed his arm from around my waist. “Hurry back.”

I rolled my eyes at his tone, cursing the existence of last night over and over again as I wrapped a blanket around my torso before moving through the house to the guest bathroom on the lower floor. “What the fuck have you done!” I groaned when I greeted my reflection in the mirror - eyes bloodshot from the alcohol, and feminine features holding so much tension from the horrors of the morning after whatever the hell I had allowed to happen between me and Jisung.

After all these years of dissuading Jisung’s advances, I just committed the worst sin of them all: I gave him an opening to the thing he wanted most from me. 

“Calm down,” I whispered to that grisly reflection, splashing water against my face as I sucked down multiple deep breaths.

“Y/N!” I heard Jisung call for me, even all the way downstairs separated by an entire floor.

It still wasn’t enough separation.

“Coming!” I shouted back because I knew I couldn’t avoid this, especially not with someone like Jisung. Someone who had been admiring me from afar from so long. Someone who was way too close to ignore because of his life-long friendship with Felix.

I couldn’t run from what I helped to create, so I gathered as much confidence as I could muster while still looking like shit in the mirror, walking slowly back upstairs while trying to make sense of the chaos breaking through the desire to live in an independent world where everything was fine.

“There you are,” Jisung chirped from where he had made himself comfortable at the counter in the kitchen, pouring milk into two glasses. “You wanna order some breakfast?”

“Not hungry,” I said, sliding into place in front of one of the glasses.

“Oh, sure,” Jisung replied, and he shook off my frigid tone. “The milk is good.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, watching him from the corner of my eye as he sat down next to me.

“I checked the date, so don’t worry,” he said with a giggle, perfectly at ease in the familiar setting of my kitchen. Except that nothing was normal, it couldn’t be taken that way after all the events that transpired last night.

“I trust you,” I whispered, looking down vacantly into the milky white liquid.

“Well, where do you want to go today?” Jisung asked, and I experienced the sharp sting of guilt - a nasty feeling weighing heavily on my chest - when his smile reached both corners of his eyes. “We can do what you want.”

“We should talk...” I said, trailing off when Jisung nodded.

“We can talk,” he agreed. “I like listening to you.”

“Jisung.” I sighed, hating that he was so nice because it made it difficult to say the things that would drive that smile away. “It’s kinda heavy...”

“You don’t have to say it then,” Jisung insisted, and I felt hurt all over again when I realized that he thought the words would affect me! That they might make me sad and he wanted to assure me that I never had to vocalize such difficult subjects. 

“I need to say it,” I continued. “I mean, there’re plenty of other things I’d rather do, but this is important.”

“Oh?” Jisung smirked, and I knew that his mind had traveled somewhere else. “Do you want to have sex again?” Jisung continued as if I had never spoken. “I had a lot of fun with you last night.”

“That’s the whole problem,” I said, swallowing hard before pushing it out. “Jisung, about last night-”

DING DONG!

I frowned when the sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted my chain of thought, especially when Jisung was so quick to scoot off his chair to answer whoever it was waiting on the other side. “Hold on,” I said, following behind him just in time to see the person standing on the porch. “Chan?”

“Hey,” Chan greeted us, and his previous smile was displaced by a chastened look, searching between the two of us with a curious expression. “Were you two together?”

“Jisung stays over sometimes,” I said, talking over Jisung before he could proclaim us as soulmates. 

“Ah,” Chan nodded. “So, you’re not busy?”

“Not right now,” I agreed, trying to push off a stubbornly persistent Jisung while Chan continued to study us from the porch.

“Okay, well, Changbin’s having a party at his place tonight,” Chan said. “If you guys want to come.”

“I don’t know...”

“We’d love to,” Jisung intervened, taking his turn to speak over me, but I couldn’t think of a worse scenario.

“Great,” Chan said, and his smile was back as he started to retreat. “I’ll see you guys there.”

Saturday

I couldn’t change Jisung’s mind, which meant that my arm was neatly tucked into his as he led us up the sidewalk to Changbin’s lavish home.

Although, mansion might be a more accurate description.

“Are you excited?” Jisung asked, pulling me away from my study of the intimate ornate columns and impressive Greco-Roman inspired architecture.

“Once I get ahold of some alcohol,” I grumbled, and Jisung laughed like it was the funniest thing I had ever said to him.

“We’ve got you covered, baby,” Jisung said, and I rolled my eyes at the petname, especially when he was using it on me.

Especially when he continued using it on me. All. Week. Long.

Walking up to Changbin’s house in the middle of the night while listening to Jisung talk about the man in question like they had known each other for their entire lives.

“I wonder where he is?” Jisung questioned when we joined the impossible fray of students - high school and college alike - spreading throughout the grandeur space inside.

“I might know a few places,” I murmured because Jisung wasn’t meant to overhear, and my eyes were drawn to the secluded corners of the house, the places that Changbin seemed inclined to escape to just like the first night we met one another. 

“Let’s find something to drink,” Jisung said, and I nodded my head and followed him into the other room.

It didn’t take long to find a couple beers, twisting off the tops and drinking while several students - probably friends of Chan and Changbin who had introduced their new third piece - crowded around me and Jisung to ask him questions about the 3racha.

“We’re releasing a special project soon,” Jisung said, and I could tell he was enjoying the attention.

But it must be nice to get some recognition for a passion that you had spent years perfecting.

It also provided the perfect opportunity for me to slip away from his careful eye, wandering back into the main room where a familiar figure captured my attention hidden away near the fireplace in the den.

“Y/N,” Changbin greeted me with his familiar smirk, beckoning me closer while drinking from his glass.

“I thought you might be away from the action,” I said, feeling a bit more comfortable next to Changbin, and far from the prying eyes of the other students.

“It gets crowded,” he said, and we both turned to the sudden sound of raucous laughter, emanating from the same room where I had just left. “You came with Jisung?”

“Yeah, but he found some admirers,” I said, attempting to make a joke of the situation.

“You two must be together,” Changbin remarked, and the corner of his mouth lifted into something resembling an arrogant look. “He acts like it.”

“Don’t mind him,” I said, rolling my eyes. “We haven’t really talked about things.”

“Oh?” Changbin hummed. “Why is that?”

“Because it was a mistake,” I insisted, but saying it loud didn’t necessarily reflect the confusing ball of emotions that I felt buried away around my heart.

“Mistake?” Changbin repeated, and his eyes glossed over with a mischievous gleam, reaching down for my hand to pull me along with him upstairs. “That’s interesting.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, but I didn’t protest when he opened the door to what I imagined to be his bedroom, slamming it closed behind him before leading me over to the bed. 

“Jisung wouldn’t agree with you,” Changbin said, and he pushed me down onto the mattress. “In fact, Jisung told me before that you were the love of his life.”

Changbin rolled his eyes at the cheesy sentiment, crawling over top of me with a predatory glare. “Jisung doesn’t know anything about love,” I retorted, and my body was responding to Changbin’s advances, craving his skilled touches as I guided his hand down to the hem of my skirt.

“Remember when I finger-fucked you in my car?” he whispered directly into my ear, free hand coming down to hold my waist.

“Yes,” I whined in return, swallowing hard when his fingers moved along the sensitive skin of my inner thighs, snapping the band of my panties into place when they reached even higher, leaving intimate goosebumps in their wake.

“Do you want me to do it again?” he growled in a low timber that sent shivers down my spine.

“Please,” I panted against his lips, desperate for him to eliminate the remaining distance between us....

But then the spell was broken.

Jarring us both away from one another, gazes drawn to the door.

“What the hell are you two doing!”

“Shit!” I cursed, pushing Changbin back as my eyes immediately flew to Jisung’s horrified expression. Standing in the doorway to Changbin’s bedroom with his mouth almost reaching the floor.

“Relax,” Changbin spoke nonchalantly, sitting back on his knees. “Why are you so tense?”

I roughly elbowed him in the side, deciding that he was far too much of a jerk in that moment to warrant anything less. 

Still, there was the issue of Jisung who had obviously taken precedence, and everyone was silent while I tried to formulate something. Any semblance of an explanation that might help me avoid an impending meltdown. “Jisung-”

“No!” Jisung screeched, and I was taken aback at the primitive noise that had just come from him. “You won’t treat me like this.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I snapped in return.

“Don’t play stupid, Y/N,” Jisung continued, and I was surprised to see Jisung acting so unhinged. “You know how I feel about you. I’ve always tried to show you that much, but then I bring you here and you sneak off to try and fuck Changbin?”

I opened my mouth to say anything, but there was nothing that could’ve prepared so this onslaught of passionate rage from Jisung. The same boy who usually batted his eyelids at me and giggled at jokes from his friends.

“We never talked about anything,” I eventually said.

“You never gave us a chance,” Jisung said, and I realized that he was right, even though I tried the other morning.

There had always been plenty of chances.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, but Jisung scoffed and gave me a bitter-sounding laugh.

“You’re not sorry,” he said, and the words echoed around inside my head, even after he left without any further consideration for me.

“Well, that was weird,” Changbin chuckled, and he started to kiss me again, like nothing had even transpired.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed at him. “Are you serious?”

“Why not?” Changbin shrugged. “We’re both just looking for a quick fuck, right?”

“Is that what you think?” I asked him. “That I’m just a quick fuck?”

“Obviously,” Changbin snorted. “Haven’t I been playing you just right this entire time, baby?”

I nearly screamed at his mocking use of Jisung’s petname, shouldering past him in my haste to get away from him. “You’re a dick,” I growled, even as the sharp sting of tears threatened to expose my façade of masked indifference, and I refused to show someone who had manipulated my emotions that they were even remotely successful in making me feel completely useless.

I had the radio playing in the background when I drove to Chan and Changbin’s studio the next morning.

There was a part of me that wanted to make peace with Jisung, on the off chance that he was even there, but an even bigger part who just wanted to hide from those confusing emotions. To choose something even more powerful to mask the hurt.

Lust, for example, which guided me into the studio where I discovered Chan sitting behind a computer in one of the production rooms.

“Y/N,” he said, noticing my arrival and removing his headphones. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I just wanted to come by,” I said, sauntering closer to him, hoping that he could pick up on what I wanted from him.

“Jisung isn’t here,” Chan said, and I flinched at his name but remained undeterred.

“I’m not here for him,” I said, lowering my tone. 

“I heard what happened at the party,” Chan tried again, but I didn’t allow him to finish his thought, straddling his thighs before locking our lips together in a desperate kiss. “Y/N,” he spoke in the very limited space between our mouths, clashing and bruising together.

“Just fuck me, please,” I begged him, digging my fingers into his shirt as I forced our lips together once again.

“No,” Chan groaned, and I was more than taken aback when he pushed me away. Not enough to send me sprawling out of his lap, but enough to make a clear point.

“Why?” I whispered, feeling myself teeter on the edge of tears which didn’t make any sense. There was no reason to be upset, and I blamed Jisung and the way he messed with my most volatile emotions,

“I shouldn’t have done anything with you,” Chan said. “It was a stupid competitive thing with Changbin.”

“You regret it?” I asked, breaking the skin of my lower lip between my teeth, tasting blood before Chan sighed and forced me to relax.

“Maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but after hearing Jisung talk about you...” Chan trailed off, and I was suddenly even more upset when he left me to fill in the blanks.

“I didn’t come here to talk about Jisung,” I said, feeling my mental state perform a complete 180, wiping away any evidence of those pesky tears.

“You came here to avoid him,” Chan said. “But is it really the right thing to do?”

“Since when do you care?” I asked with a harsh exhale, and Chan nodded like he was perfectly accepting of my anger.

“I don’t deserve to be on good terms with you,” Chan continued. “Changbin and I...we were both very manipulative with our intentions.”

“You took advantage of me,” I hissed, and Chan’s eyes widened as he shook his head fiercely.

“No!” he said, and it was very stern. “I would never do that to anyone! Well, I mean, I’m terrible with relationships.”

I frowned. “You should’ve told me. The upfront dishonesty is not appreciated.”

Chan sighed at my implication. “Look, I told you that I can’t seem to get anything right, but if there’s one person who was always honest with you-”

“Jisung,” I interrupted him with a sigh. “Yeah, I know.”

“Seriously, Y/N,” Chan said, taking a firm grip on my chin to force my eyes to meet his own. “Talk to him. Forget about me and Changbin.”

“That’s hard to do since Minho likes you,” I quipped, and he chuckled.

“You can pretend to like me,” Chan offered, and I shrugged because maybe it was a good compromise.

“Fine, pretending works,” I said. “Especially since you’re kind of an asshole.”

Chan winced at my words. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement, but I came here to do something stupid again,” I said. “I guess I failed.”

“Not really,” Chan said, and he reached behind him for a discarded piece of paper. “Come watch us perform this weekend,” Chan said, holding out the flyer which I accepted. “Make it up to him.”

I gritted my teeth together, reading the headline of the flyer before looking back at Chan. “He won’t forgive me.”

“Well, not until you come to terms with what you want first,” Chan said, and I knew that he was right. 

“I don’t think I want him...”

“Are you sure about that?” Chan asked. “Think hard on it, and I’ll save you a good seat and a bottle of beer.”

“That’s hard to resist,” I said, and I slowly gathered myself out of his lap, readjusting my clothes and brushing off the imaginary dust that couldn’t possibly have collected on the fabric. “I’ll see you soon then.”

Chan nodded, holding out his hand for me to shake. “Consider it a peace offering.”

I scoffed at the display, but accepted his extension of peace or whatever nonetheless. 

Yeah, he made it hard to stay mad at him, even though he deserved every bit of my wrath, but he also made it hard not to see the obvious reasoning with making things right with Jisung. 

One of the few people in my life who had never been anything but kind.

It was Saturday night, and I was nervous and anxious when I walked inside the venue where 3racha would be performing.

Thankfully, my brothers had also been invited, and I found them in the crowd quickly, determined to stick to their sides until I had enough confidence to face Jisung alone. 

“Get ready!” Felix shouted when the overheard music turned down low, signaling the crowd to turn their attention towards the stage where Chan, Changbin, and Jisung were all walking out, microphones in hand.

I shifted next to Minho when I noticed Jisung, decked out in an all-black ensemble, beanie cap pulled low over his eyes. 

“Looks like Jisung invaded Chan’s closet,” Minho quipped, and Felix snorted around his drink while I found myself studying the way his lithe figure was heavily accentuated by the tight leather.

“3rd Eye, are you ready to get loud?” Chan bellowed into the microhome, and the crowd answered his call with raucous yelling as thumping, heavy bass music began to play in the background.

And then, right before my very eyes, little Han Jisung, Felix’s dorky best friend, stepped forward to the edge of the stage and started to rap his lyrics at a speed that surely defied the very barrier of space and time?

“Holy shit,” I said, finding myself drawn into Jisung’s careful handling of the beat, riding its dips and flaws with mastery, leading the crowd with some kind of invisible magnetism. “Jisung is really good!”

“Of course, he is,” Felix scoffed, like I should’ve known better. “He’s been practicing since middle school.”

“He has?” I returned, but the question went unanswered as Felix enthusiastically continued to cheer for his friend, and I was caught up in the whirlwind of the crowd’s enthusiasm while my own heart beat incredibly fast for several much different reasons.

Their stage ended on a high, and I found that my voice was hoarse from screaming with the rest of the patrons, clapping like a madwoman while 3racha disappeared backstage. 

“Let’s see if we can find, Sung,” Felix suggested, and any prior elation was gone as I remembered my original purpose for coming here.

“I’d love to congratulate him,” Minho agreed, and I reluctantly followed my brothers to the backstage entrance where a bouncer noticed them and waved them forward.

Must be some kind of friend privileges.

Regardless, it brought me to where I needed to be, and I hesitated when we were pulled even deeper between sound equipment and storage containers.

“Where are they?” Minho asked.

“I see Chan,” Felix said, pointing ahead of us, and I bit back my disappointment at finding Chan first.

“You guys made it,” Chan said, coming over to greet us, giving Minho some weird, elaborate handshake.

I rolled my eyes at their boyish oddities, glancing around the backstage area, not looking for anything in particular, until....

Jisung. Standing over there with another girl.

I froze, watching as Jisung leaned in closer to whisper directly into her ear in a decidedly intimate exchange.

“Jisung?” I whispered, and it was enough to steal Minho’s attention who followed my gaze with a chuckle.

“Does Jisung have a girlfriend?”

I swallowed hard at the question, the bitter taste of disappointment, and I ran despite Minho and Felix calling my name. Despite the overbearing sensation of Jisung’s eyes following me the entire time.

It was late when my brothers came home, discovering me sitting alone in the living room.

Felix was the first to react, releasing a loud sigh before he came to sit next to me on the couch. “Rough night?” he asked, voice gruff from the exertion of screaming at the concert.

“You could say that,” I muttered in return, picking at the stitching on the pillow in my lap.

“I guess this is about Jisung,” Minho added, coming to stand in front of me with that stupid concerned look on his face.

“Forget it,” I said. “It isn’t anyone else’s business.”

“Jisung is my friend,” Felix said, and he seemed affronted. “It actually is my business.”

“Fine,” I snapped, turning to glare at Minho. “But you can’t say anything.”

“Yes, I can,” Minho replied. “Because I’m usually the only one who can get you to listen!”

I frowned at the assertion, slumping down even lower against the cushions. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad,” Minho said, and he stubbornly collapsed next to me despite my warning. “Chan told us everything.”

I sat up immediately, feeling my mouth drop open as I looked at Minho. “What do you mean?”

“We know you have a thing for Jisung,” Minho teased.

“No, I don’t!”

“Then why were you all angsty when you saw him with that other girl?” Felix intervened, snickering at my awe-struck expression. “Besides, you don’t think Jisung wasn’t bragging about finally sleeping with the love of his life?”

“I’m not the love of his life,” I grumped. “He clearly doesn’t care about me.”

“Then you’re blind and stupid,” Felix said, thoughtful as always. But then his expression turned serious. “Y/N, Jisung’s been in love with you since middle school, and I should know because he never shut up about you.”

I sighed at the admission, wrestling with the incessant desire to keep my mouth shut and that smaller part of me that longed to confess everything. “I never knew I wanted him,” I said. “Until I saw him with that other girl...how fucked up is that?”

“It’s not fucked up,” Minho said. “Sometimes, it takes...extraneous circumstances to convince us of our feelings.”

“Especially if that person is you,” Felix continued. “You’re stubborn to a fault.”

“Am not!” I huffed, realizing only a moment later that I was proving their point.

“Look, just give him a chance to explain himself, Y/N,” Minho said. “You clearly owe him an apology, and you both have a lot to talk about.”

“I know,” I begrudgingly agreed, and it was only after I thought about how utterly destroyed I felt after seeing Jisung tonight that I was struck with the weight of importance for what I had to do.

It was Chan’s idea, really, to invite me back to the studio, conveniently at the same time when Jisung was set to record his part for their next single.

At first, I resisted because I didn’t want to interrupt Jisung at work, but then my brothers reminded me that it probably had a lot more to do with myself refusing to face up to my mistakes rather than some kind of respect for professional boundaries.

Nonetheless, I had no idea what I planned to say to Jisung because I could rehearse a given set of words a thousand times, but when it came to actually confronting him, they could all disappear from my head. And instead of floundering around trying to remember them all, I think it might be better to talk to him in the moment as I formulated some semblance of a worthy apology for the hurt I had caused him.

It was also still new, this coming to terms with the fact that Felix’s best friend might be someone who could mean something more to me than that kid who always flirted and shyly whispered hello’s and goodbye’s whenever he came over to spend the night.

But maybe talking would help me figure things out, and after knocking on the studio door, I put on my best smile when Jisung’s face appeared from the other side.

Unfortunately, he wore a scowl that could scare even the bravest of souls, and I was more or less intimidated after asking him if I could come inside. 

“I guess,” Jisung said, leaving the door open for me to close before returning to his seat at the production stand.

“So,” I started, trailing off as I glanced around the room. “This is a nice set-up.”

“Yeah,” Jisung said, offering nothing more, and telling me all I needed to know about his openness to starting a conversation with me.

“Right,” I agreed, clearing my throat. “Uh, Jisung? I just wanted to apologize for the other night at the party. It was really out of line for me to act the way I did.”

“Huh,” Jisung scoffed. “I don’t think you really mean that.”

I winced at his dismissal. “I’m being genuine.”

“Hard for me to tell,” Jisung replied, and I shook my head because this was going horribly wrong and I expected him to kick me out at any moment. 

“Your performance was good the other night,” I tried again. “I really like the music, and your rapping is super good.”

“Thanks,” he muttered dryly.

“Seriously,” I insisted. “You’re really talented, and I guess other people noticed before me, which is stupid. But I’m happy for you, and I just want you to do whatever brings you the best opportunities....Oh! And I think your girlfriend is really pretty, not that it’s any of my business-”

“Girlfriend?” Jisung interrupted, turning around to look at me with a confused expression.

“Yeah? The girl I saw you with backstage the other night?” I said, wondering if Jisung was acting this way on purpose.

“You mean my cousin?” he asked, wrinkling his nose in obvious revulsion. “Why would you assume that?”

I groaned, resisting the urge to bang my head against the wall because I was only making things harder and even more awkward. “I didn’t know...I guess it just surprised me, and I took off...” I paused at the confession, fanning myself with one hand. 

“You thought I was dating someone else?” Jisung said. “And it made you feel...?”

“Betrayed,” I sighed, bowing my head in shame. “I guess you probably felt the same way when you saw me with Changbin.”

Jisung frowned, cheeks dusted with red as he considered me. “Yeah, Y/N, I wasn’t happy to see you with someone else after everything that happened between us.”

“I’m sorry, Jisung,” I whispered. “For everything. I’m literally the worst person on Earth, and you don’t even have to pretend to forgive me or anything. You can just ignore whenever you come over....I probably deserve it.”

Jisung shook his head, playing with the pen held poised between his fingers. “I won’t ignore you.”

I raised my head to meet his gaze. “Honestly, Jisung, seeing that girl the other night made me feel even more ridiculous because I shouldn’t need something like that to happen to make me realize that I really do like you.”

“Y/N...”

“No, really!” I insisted. “I’ve always seen you as Felix’s best friend, but that was stupid and wrong, and I’m sorry for making you hurt and leading you on or whatever. So, like, I needed to tell you how horrible I am, and you can take the apology or curse my existence, whatever! I just needed you to know.”

There was a long moment of quiet between us, and Jisung kept looking at me like he was trying to see past me. 

“You are kinda ridiculous,” Jisung finally said, and I released a deep breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.

“I talked to Felix and Minho,” I said. “They told me that you’ve always liked me.”

“Yeah,” Jisung said, a little bit sheepishly as his ears turned bright red. “That’s always been a thing.”

I giggled at his words. “So...what do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, but there was something resembling a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Whatever we want, maybe?”

My smile grew wider because it wasn’t anything like a label, but that just might be the right direction for the two of us. Taking the time to come together after having our paths zig-zag in opposing directions for so long. “Okay,” I agreed, feeling the cold distance minimize like an imaginary conveyor belt was pulling us closer. “Let’s go with that: whatever we want.”

[kiirokero]

Tryst (JHS)

Tryst: A private romantic rendezvous between lovers.

Part of the “Protect the Village!” Oneshot series.

Masterlist

Pairing: GroceryManager!Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, romance, humour, dating in secret, swearing, established relationship (kinda)

Note: I’m so tired please lol I’m hibernating all of April. I know I’ll wake up in the morning and find this absolute shit and cringe at the fact that people saw it.

Summary: Having a best friend with his own grocery store is the perfect equation for late nights looking up at the stars, snacking on cheap junk food, and “Are we about to kiss right now?” Jokes.

Word Count: 4.2k

“Stay away from Hoseok, I don’t like him.”

      Those were the words your brother, Kim Namjoon, said to you when you first saw Hoseok in the village. It was a cool afternoon. It had just rained the night before, so the streets were damp from yesterday's showers. This was your favorite kind of day. Right after rainfall, the weather in Bangtan Village always seemed to be perfect. 

     There was always a smooth breeze as the clouds in the sky slightly dissipated, revealing just a sliver of sun to give the petrichor day a warm feeling. However, the worst part of it was the puddles. Jumping in puddles on purpose may be a fun pastime for you, much to the dismay of your stick-in-the-mud brother, but it was only fun if you did it on purpose. Not accidentally slipping and being caught by a handsome stranger.

      When you slipped in that puddle outside the grocery store your brother always told you to avoid, you weren’t expecting such a handsome man to catch you. You were sure that you were going to get a face full of asphalt, but strong arms suddenly wrapped their way around you and you fell into the chest of none other than Jung Hoseok. But you didn’t know it was him at the time.

      “I’m so sorry!” You said, standing back up with the help of the man in front of you. “It’s okay! I’m just glad you didn’t fall,” He smiled, and you felt your heart rate pick up. “Thank you for sparing me the experience,” You chuckled, nervously scratching the back of your neck. “Not a problem! Be careful, yeah?” He said, waving you goodbye as he went back into the grocery store.

“Why? What has he done that’s so bad?”

      That is what you asked your fuming brother when you told him about the incident in front of the grocery store. “Stay away from him,” Is what he spat out at you, angrily working on the car that was in front of him, hood popped and engine exposed. “You didn’t answer my question,” You retorted, getting annoyed at his pissed reaction. 

      “What part of “Stay away from Hoseok, I don’t like him.” do you not understand?” He groaned, wiping away the oil that spilled onto his hands. Finally looking at you. “The part where you give me a valid reason,” You hit back, standing tall, back straight and arms cross. 

      Namjoon sighed, “I just don’t like him is all,” He said, grabbing another one of his tools to get back to working. “Wow, you totally passed persuasive writing in school, didn’t you?” You rolled your eyes, heading towards the exit of Namjoon’s workshop. “Don’t get smart with me,” He hissed through gritted teeth. “Too late, you’re the one who sent me to school,” You shrugged, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind you. 

      You loved Namjoon with all of your heart. He was there to raise you when your parents disappeared and he was there to catch you whenever you fell. But sometimes you didn’t understand him. You understood that he felt the need to protect you. You weren’t exactly the strongest person health wise, but sometimes he crossed the thin, blurred line of protecting you and sheltering you from being your own person.

      You were a bedridden child. Always catching colds and flus whenever they spread around the town, and you caught them bad. You had gotten better now; you were 21, so your immune system had somewhat gotten its shit together. That didn’t mean you weren’t still an immunocompromised person, but it was better than before. 

      Namjoon was the one who always took care of you. He got you your medicine, he cooked your food (Or got his boyfriend Jin to do it) and he sat with you until you fell asleep on restless nights. He was your rock, and you could never express just how grateful you were for him. But that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to get mad at him, and you always made sure he knew it. He was the one who made you so headstrong after all, him himself being stubborn as a mule. 

You loved him, and he knew it, but you also hated some of his helicopter tendencies. 

“I hope I see you there,”

      Those were the words that ended your first conversation with Jung Hoseok. No matter how adamant Namjoon was about you steering clear of the man, you didn’t listen. Something about his smile, the sound of his voice, the warmth of his skin made you want to go back and see him again. So you did.,

     One afternoon when Namjoon was busy with cars and you had the time away from your language studies, you went to go see the allusive man. Walking through the streets, you made your way to the forbidden store, not hesitating to step in. “Welcome!” That same cheery voice greeted you. Turning to your left, you saw Hoseok standing behind the counter. 

      When your eyes locked, you saw his face light up in recognition. “Hey! It’s you! How are you?” He said, giving you his full attention. “I’m good,” You responded, walking up to the counter and leaning your hip on it. “I never got your name,” Hoseok said, a smile never leaving his face. “Kim Y/n,” You answered. Hoseok’s looked surprised for a second, but quickly schooled his facial expression. 

     “K-Kim? Oh, cool, cool... You don’t happen to know a um, Taehyung, do you?” He coughed awkwardly, fiddling with his fingers. “No, I’m not related to that Kim. Namjoon is my brother,” You shrugged, curious of his reaction, “N-Namjoon? Oh, he’s... He’s nice...” He shifted on his feet uncomfortably, avoiding your eyes. “He is. He can be a jerk sometimes though. Anyway, changing the subject, I have a proposal for you,” You smiled, hoping to calm Hoseok down.

      Hoseok lifted his head up from the tiles he was intently staring at. “What is it?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You know that hill on the edge of town? The one that overlooks the forest that everyone is afraid of?” You inquire. Hoseok slowly nodded his head. “Great! Meet me at 10pm. I hope I see you there,” You said, giving him a wave as you jogged out of the store.

      Dressed in one of Namjoon’s thick sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants, you sat down in the grass, moonlight illuminating the space around you as you prayed that Hoseok would show up. It was about 9:50, 10 minutes until the designated meeting time you had set. 

      You didn’t even know if Hoseok was free at this time, for all you know this could be his shelf stocking time. But you hoped. You hoped that in your nervous haste you were able to come off confident and persuasive enough for Hoseok to show up and humour you and your weird request. 

      Checking your phone again, the time read 10:06pm. Sighing, you shoved it back into your pocket and wrapped your arms around your knees, resting your head on top of them. You had begun to contemplate getting up and sneaking back home when the sound of footsteps on the grass behind you caught your attention. Whipping around, you saw Hoseok make his way to the top of the hill.

      He was dressed similarly to you; He had a black sweatshirt on and blue jeans. He looked elegant in the moonlight; the shine bounced off his brown hair and illuminated his pale skin nicely. When he spotted you, his eyebrows raised and his chest bounced up and down in a light laugh. He walked over to you, not saying anything yet as he sat down next to you, gazing out into the forest. 

     “You came,” You whispered, unable to take your eyes off of him. “I did,” Was his answer, still gazing out into the forested patch of land. “I was starting to lose hope,” You admitted. “Well, I’m here now,” He shrugged, finally turning to look back at you. “You’re not going to murder me out here, right? Because I can scream pretty loud,” He chuckled, and you playfully rolled your eyes. 

     “Nah, not the homicide kind of person. Arson? Maybe, but homicide? No, too messy,” You joked, earning a real boisterous laugh from the man beside you. “I like your honestly,” He snorted, a sparkle in his eye. “I get that from my brother,” You shrugged. Hoseok deflated a bit at the mention of Namjoon. Curious, you decided to ask him why. 

      Turning your entire body to face him, you squinted your eyes at him, gaining a look of confusion from him. “Whats up between you and my brother?” You asked, getting straight to the point. “Wow you really are like Namjoon, no beating around the bush huh?” He chuckled. After a second, Hoseok sighed and looked down somberly. “We went to highschool together, we even used to be friends, but that changed our senior year,”

“How so?” You asked,

“We got into an argument...”

“About what?”

“Do you always ask so many questions?” Hoseok asked with a smile. 

“Yeah,” You smiled back. 

      Hoseok playfully shook his head, “It was me really, I betrayed his trust in the dumbest of ways,” He cringed. “Do you know that Namjoon’s...” Hoseok trailed off, childishly poking both of his finger together. “What? Gay?” You guessed, “Yes, he’s always been open about it to me.” Hoseok let out a sigh of relief, laying back on the grass. “Well, he told me and asked me to keep it a secret. Not everybody in our school was the most accepting. But my big mouth accidentally let it slip one day...”

“Wow, really?” You said,

“Yeah, I know. Asshole move.” He sighed.

“You got that right,” You poked him in the ribs, earning a hiss from him.

“I deserved that. I honestly didn’t mean to let it slip, but I’ve never been good with secrets. I apologized profusely to him, but he never forgave me. I don’t blame him, the amount of scrutiny he got was disgusting, I wouldn’t forgive me either.” Hoseok stopped to take a deep breath, “He never talked to me again after that. It hurt, but I got over it eventually, accepted that it was all my fault, and moved on.” 

      You nodded, letting out a small hum. “Is this the part where you smite me and walk away?” Hoseok asked, turning his head to look at you. “No. You made a mistake, and you apologized. It’s ultimately up to Namjoon to forgive you, but it’s up to me who I hang out with, and you’re pretty cool Seok,” You said, laying down in the grass next to him. “Seok? ...I like that,” He chuckled. 

“Well Seok, do you know any constellations?” 

      That was the first of many late night rendezvous. The more you got to know Hoseok and talk to him, the more you came to realize that he was a cool person. He wasn’t the bad person Namjoon made him out to be, just a cool guy who made a dumb mistake. 

      Most nights, Hoseok would bring snack from his store for the two of you to eat while you looked up at the sky and tried to spot constellations. Chips, candy, the occasional piece of fruit if you made him mad the previous night and he wanted to get back at you. It was a lot of junk food and philosophical talks. 

By philosophical talks, you mean debating questions like, “What name would you give the ninja turtles besides the names they have now?”

And apparently Donatello is totally a Henry to Hoseok. 

      “Come on Seok, I’m telling you, fighting a bunch of penguin-sized horses is the better alternative!” You argued, stuffing a chip into your mouth. “Uh no I’d be more terrified that way. One horse-sized penguin is enough for me. Plus, it’d be cute!” He gushed, biting into a matcha Pockey. “We’re fighting these animals Seok, and I’m 99.8% sure that you’d get your ass kicked,” You snickered. 

      Hoseok dramatically gasped. “Do YOU wanna fight Y/n?” He asked, leaning forward in an attempt to intimidate you. You leaned forward in response, only stopping when your forehead touched his. You squinted your eyes, unable to keep the smiles or laughs away. “Are we about to kiss right now, bro?” You whispered, bursting out in laughter, falling back onto the grass. 

     “Oh my god, you’re impossible!” Hoseok said between laughs. “But you love me~” You teased after you calmed down. “Yeah I guess,” Hoseok snorted, coming to lay closer to you. You and Hoseok sat there in silence for a bit, enjoying the sounds of the crickets while the two of you looked up at the stars. “Do you remember the constellation we made up together?��� You asked, still looking up at the sky. 

      Hoseok hummed, “How could I forget? The night we made it was the night you convinced me to step into that forest. I stand by my point that the squirrel looked a lot bigger from where I was and totally warranted that scream,” He chuckled. “Why is that the memory you always bring up? I confessed my feelings for you that day, you know!” 

      It was a warm night, not a cloud in sight as the moon shown brightly on the terrified expression Hoseok gave you. “You want me to go into the forest? Are you crazy?” He whisper-yelled, like the trees were suddenly snooping in on our conversation. “You lost the bet,” You shrugged, pushing his tall, stiff body towards the tree line. 

      “You cheated in that go fish round!” He accused, still not acknowledging the fact that go-fish is luck based. You rolled your eyes, not stopping your attempts to get the man into the forest. “It’s just, like, 10 seconds standing in the treeline, I’ll watch you to make sure your safe the whole time!” You grinned. Hoseok sighed, defeated, taking a walk of shame towards the looming forest. 

      “Jung Hoseok! Loser of go-fish! What do you have to say for yourself!” You called to him, staying away from the tress because fuck that. You’ve heard the stories. “I’m scared! Tell my mother I love her! Leave the 5$ you owe me on my grave!” He called back, laughing at his own joke. 

       You were laughing along too before an ear-piercing screech rang through the air. Looking up, you saw Hoseok running away from the forest and grabbing your shoulders to hide behind you. “The fuck?” You asked, squinting your eyes to see if there was a bear or something. “That squirrel is possessed!” Hoseok shivered, and there was, in fact, a squirrel in the treeline. Problem was, it looked like a perfectly normal squirrel. 

     “Uhh, that’s just a normal squirrel Seok,” You said, turning to look at the man behind you. “No! It was huge!” He sounded like a conspiracy theorist and it was making you laugh. “Aish, I’m in love with an idiot,” You mumbled to yourself, not quite realizing what you were saying. “W-What did you say?” Hoseok asked, standing back up straight.

      Your eyes widened as you stumbled over your words. “I uh- what? Nothing. I said nothing. Speaking? Me? Impossible. I don’t even know Kore-” You were cut off when Hoseok leaned down and connected his lips with yours in a soft, sweet kiss. 

       His lips were soft and warm, and you felt your heart stutter at the sensation of having him so close. Hoseok was like a saccharine elixir that you couldn’t get enough of. His warmth, his breath fanning against your face, the slight smile he had when he kissed you. It was all knee wobbling sensations that left you stunned once he pulled away. 

“And I’m in love with you,” Hoseok said with a smile, going back in for another kiss.

“The trauma I got from that squirrel will forever be stuck in the front of my mind,” Hoseok dramatically sighed. “Yeah, sure, anyway, you can see it more clearly now, the J and the K,” You said, pointing up into the night sky. 

      On that same nightly tryst, when the two of you were snuggling under the stars for the first time, the two of you ran out of constellations to identify, so you decided to make your own. A J and a K stuck together for “Jung” and “Kim” It wasn’t super visible, but on nights like these you could see it clearly if you knew what to look for. “Oh your right, there it is,” Hoseok said, and you could hear the happiness in his voice.

“Jung and Kim,” You said aloud.

“Kim and Jung,” Hoseok answered back.

      The two of you went back to silence, laying down in the grass, just enjoying each other's presence. Hoseok felt so warm next to you, like a dull fire. You could hear his rhythmic breathing through the noise of the crickets and you closed your eyes. Focusing solely on him. You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You felt his soft lips kiss the top of your head as he let out a content sigh. 

      “I wish these nights would never end,” Hoseok said, bringing you in closer. “Me too,” You whispered, breathing in his floral cologne. “I wake up and look forward to nightfall,” You chuckled, intertwining your hand with the one Hoseok had resting on his stomach. “I love you, sunshine,” Hoseok whispered to you after a beat of silence. “I love you too, Seok,”

      Sneaking back into your house was never really hard. Namjoon was a heavy sleeper and the window to your room was a silent doorway in and out. You were glad for living in a one-story house because it made this task so much easier. After you said goodbye to Hoseok with a long, drawn out hug full of unspoken words, you walked back to your house, ready for a good nights sleep.

      Climbing back through your window, you let out a scream as you turned on the light to see your brother sitting there, wide awake, in your desk chair. “J-Joonie?” You asked, feeling your heart drop. “Where have you been?” He growled out, a pissed expression on his face. You didn’t answer, you were too scared to answer. 

      “So you’ve been sneaking out? Do you know how dangerous that is Y/n? Who are you meeting up with?” He asked, voice riddled with anger and frustration. “Nobody...” You mumbled, looking down at the wood flooring. “Nobody, huh? Then what’s this? It’s not yours. Certainly not mine,” Namjoon said, holding up one of Hoseok’s sweatshirts that he gave you. You gulped, heart pounding in your ears. 

      “How do you know that I didn’t just buy a sweatshirt without you knowing?” You defended, not willing to crack under your brother’s intense pressure. “Because JHS is written on the tag, and it’s not in your handwriting,” He retorted, showing that, in fact, JHS is written on the tag inside the sweatshirt. You stayed quiet. 

      “You’ve been sneaking out to see him, haven’t you?” Namjoon asked, his tone getting increasingly colder. Again, you stayed quiet. “Haven’t you?!” Namjoon raised his voice, standing up from the chair. “And what if I have?!” You yelled back, brimming with anger and embarrassment. “I told you to stay away from him!” Namjoon growled, his deep voice reverberating off the thin wall of the house. 

      You blinked back the tears that stung in the corner of your eyes. “Without a valid reason! He hasn’t done anything wrong!” You argued, reaching to grab the sweatshirt away from your brother, but he was faster and held it above his head, out of your reach. “Hasn’t done anything wrong? He’s a backstabbing prick!” 

“Who apologized!” You pointed out, continuing to reach for the sweatshirt you’d grown so very attached to. 

“Sorry doesn’t fix it!”

      “You’re twenty-fucking-five Namjoon, grow up and leave me out of your personal issues!” You yelled, successfully grabbing the sweatshirt from him and holding it to your chest protectively. “Can’t you see that I’m trying to protect you?” Namjoon asked. “This isn’t protecting, this is sheltering. I’m an adult Namjoon! I can make my own decisions.” You stressed, taking a seat on your bed. The two of you finally calming down. 

      Namjoon didn’t say anything, so you took it as a sign to continue. “Hoseok told me everything, I think the two of you should talk,” You suggested, but Namjoon shook his head, “No, there’s nothing to talk about,” You sighed, “He said sorry Namjoon, multiple times,” You said, and you saw Namjoon’s face soften a bit, “Maybe you’ve forgiven him, but your afraid he won’t forgive you for how coldly you’ve treated him.”

      There was nothing but silence and a somber-looking Namjoon. “Admit it Joon,” You said. “Okay, fine. I have forgiven him, a long time ago, and you’re right... I am scared that he won’t forgive my actions. I was horrible to him after the incident Y/n...” Namjoon admitted, taking a seat on the bed next to you. “And when I found out you were sneaking out to see him, I was scared that he’d tell you and you’d see me differently... I’m sorry...” He said, a genuine look in his eyes. 

“He doesn’t say a bad thing about you, Namjoon,” You sighed.

“He doesn’t?”

“No, it honestly just sounds like he misses you as a friend,” 

“...I should talk to him...”

“Come with me tomorrow night, so the two of you can talk, okay?”

       Namjoon and you sat on the top of the hill, waiting for Hoseok to arrive. It was one of the colder nights, so you were wrapped up in Hoseok’s sweatshirt and a scaff. Namjoon, being the weirdo he was, decided that the cold never bothered him and wore a simple t-shirt, jean combo. 

      “Are you sure about this Y/n? Isn’t this your alone time with him?” Namjoon asked, eyebrows wrinkled in worry. “It was, but once the two of you talk, we won’t have to sneak around at night anymore, we can sneak during the day too” You chuckled, lightly shaking Namjoon’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine,” You reassured him. 

      A couple minute later, you heard the footsteps of another person approaching. “Sunshine!” You heard the cheery voice of Hoseok call out for you. Quickly you got up and ran to him, jumping onto him in a (very aggressive but very loving) hug. “Seok!” You cheered, earning a chuckled from the man. 

     Hoseok gently placed you down, looking at you with his brown eyes full of love and admiration. He cupped your face with both of his hands and leant his forehead against yours. “Are we about to kiss right now?” You giggled, giving him an eskimo kiss. “Yeah,” He chuckled, leaning in to give you a quick, chaste kiss, wrapping his arms around you to hug you once more. 

     You suddenly remembered that you brought a certain car mechanic with you and you awkwardly cleared your throat. “What’s up?” Hoseok asked you, pulling away to look down at your nervous form. Pointing your thumb over your shoulder you murmured out “I brought someone who wants to talk to you.” 

      Hoseok finally looked behind you, and even in the moonlight you could see his face slightly pale. “Hey...” Namjoon waved awkwardly, standing up a couple feet away from us. “Hey,” Hoseok replied, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me towards him in an unconscious act of love. Namjoon looked down at the gesture and softened. 

     “I, um- I think we have a lot to talk about,” Namjoon said as Hoseok nodded. “I think we do,” The air between them was so uncomfortable that even the crickets stopped making noise. It was just deadly silent before Namjoon spoke up first. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you,” He cringed.

“It’s okay. I’m still sorry for what happened in highschool,”

“That was 7 years ago Hoseok... I forgave you a long time ago,”

“You did? Then were even,”

     Namjoon’s head shot up from where he was looking at the grass, kicking a rock around with his foot. “What?” He asked, sounding surprised. “I forgive you. You forgive me, were even,” Hoseok stated firmly, patting my back as he let me go to walk up to Namjoon. “Truce?” Hoseok chuckled, holding out his hand. “Truce,” Namjoon laughed along, flashing Hoseok a dimpled smile. 

This was the better ending to Romeo and Juliet. You thought, smiling to yourself. 

     “Oh my god, Y/n, you look fine,” Namjoon chuckled, rolling his eyes. “I don’t know Joonie, what if Seok doesn’t like it?” You whined, turning around in the mirror to get another look at the sundress you were wearing. “Seok thinks you look pretty in everything,” Namjoon said, “Seriously, he’s whipped for you,” 

      You smirked, “Yeah his is,” You giggled. “Alright, no more stalling, date time!” You stated, a determined look on your face. But when the doorbell rang, your confidence vanished, and you froze. Namjoon sighed, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you towards the door, opening it and placing you in front of a very smiley Hoseok. 

     “Hey gorgeous,” Hoseok winked, and you had to hold the door for support so your knees didn’t give out. “hEy,” You squeaked out. This was your first official date with Hoseok, out in daylight, with Namjoon knowing. Needless to say, it was a big deal for the both of you. Hoseok was handling it better than you, no doubt. 

      Hoseok chuckled, holding out his hand for you. “Are you ready to go? Not trusting your words, you just nodded, putting your hands in his. “I’ll see you guys later,” Namjoon smiled, waving to you goodbye as you and Hoseok giggled like lovesick idiots. 

Probably because you were. 

[kopikokun]

Spilled Drinks & Study Sessions༄ mark l.

↳ When you’re forced into a study session with your next door neighbour Mark, who also happens to be your academic rival in school, things go south very quickly.

pairing; mark lee x reader

genre; fluff, slight angst, enemies to lovers (more like friends, but anyway)

wordcount; 2503 words

author’s note; how the hell do you guys write e2l and make the transition so smooth? bro i could never. also, the header pic is different than what i normally do :/ it’s kinda eh, but i liked the picture so i had to do something with all that empty space

Request 26: Mark + “Oh, are you ticklish?” (73) + “Why are you naked?” (109)

— 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧. | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬.

The animosity between you and Mark is intense and painstakingly obvious to everyone around you. Well, everyone besides your parents, you suppose. 

   “Can you stop being so loud? You’re distracting me,” you grumble, angrily flipping through your homework. 

   “Well, I’m sorry for breathing.” Mark rolls his eyes at you. “Would you rather I stop entirely instead and drop dead right here, right now?”

   “At least it would be quieter if you did.” You press your pen down harder, taking your rage out on your poor, innocent worksheet. If you’re going to blame anyone for the excruciating torture your homework is enduring, you’d blame Mark. Even if it technically isn’t his fault, you’d still pin the blame on him. 

   “What’re you gonna do with my body? You wouldn’t be able to lift me, I mean, you couldn’t even open that can of Coke.”

   Your cheeks grow warm, mentally replaying the image of a grinning Mark as he effortlessly opened your can of Coke, the soft hiss of its fizz taunting you. Mark had puffed up his chest triumphantly like he was some kind of hero. For crying out loud, he had only opened a can of Coke, not saved his country. It still bruised your pride though, having to ask for help from Mark, your sworn rival since middle school. Childish, you know, but you’re certain that Mark thinks of you as such too. 

   “Whatever,” you fumble for a name to call him, “nerd.” Mark snickers at you. “My fingers were just slippery.” He arches a brow, challenging you, and you scowl. “I wouldn’t be able to lift you because you’re heavy, fatass. Not because I’m weak.” You twirl a lock of your hair around your finger. “And look who’s talking, Mr. I-Can’t-Open-Doors.”

      Mark flushes crimson as he silently fumes. “That was because I was pushing the pull door!”

   “That’s even worse, Mark,” you tease, unable to suppress a smile. “Dumbass,” you mumble below your breath, enjoying the way Mark seethes.

   “You’re calling me a dumbass? If I remember correctly, I was the one who placed above you last term.” Mark haughtily flips a page in his workbook. “Which I think is why your parents want me to tutor you.”

   You throw a measly eraser shaving at Mark in rebuttal. “You know that’s not why I’m here!” Another shaving is thrown at Mark’s head, yet he doesn’t even look up at you. “In fact, your parents probably wanted me here so I could babysit you!”

   Neither you or Mark are right. Your parents just chucked you together because they thought that after all those years of living beside one another and having weekly dinners together, you two would be absolutely wonderful buddies, and you can’t fault them for assuming such a thing.

   Logically speaking, you and Mark are supposed to be the bestest of friends. As much as you dislike the word, it seems as if fate has decided that you two are meant for each other. Gross. 

   In almost every situation possible, you and dear Markie boy over here have been unwillingly strung together—from group projects, to assigned seats, you two just can’t get a break from one another.

   Your parents had innocently thought that having a little study session while they went out for a double date with Mark’s parents would be beneficial for you two. Perhaps even fun. Fun, your ass. 

   All those years spent with Mark hasn’t made you friends, no, it’s made you rivals.

   Yeah, so not sworn enemies, but what’s life without a little exaggeration?

   You’ve always been a bright kid, some would even go as far to say that you’re ‘gifted’, but you think ‘persevering’ is a better word to describe it. You weren’t just born naturally intelligent or outstandingly athletic, no, you’ve had to work hard, insanely hard, for that. It hadn’t been handed to you all nicely wrapped with a little bow to match, just for you to tear it open and take. You’ve had to tolerate and undergo several sleepless nights, and many agonising hours of training. 

   Up until middle school you were top of your class in all aspects. You were idolised (well, as idolised as you could be for a middle schooler anyway), loved and acknowledged. It had been blissful. 

   That was until, little Mark with that stupidly cute gleam in his eyes came along, skipping over to you in those worn-out track pants and smiling toothily as he introduced himself as your brand new next door neighbour.

   You have to admit, initially, you and him were close friends. You’d walk home together, sneak out to go to the convenience store together, share snacks together, the list goes on. You’d even given Mark your very first kiss, right on the cusp on your twelfth birthday. He didn’t know that it was your first kiss though, and he’ll never know. You’d rather be shot at point blank range than give up such private intel. 

   But when one day, in seventh grade, when Mark had begun closing in on you in rankings, outrunning you at the park and gradually being everyone’s new favourite, you found yourself isolated. Even one of your friends, a girl with straight long hair that fell past her waist, started hanging out with Mark more than with you.

   And when you invited her to your thirteenth birthday, the first thing she’d asked was, “Is Mark going to be there?”

   And at that same party, you saw her, kissing the boy you had been crushing on for the past year. And it looked like Mark really enjoyed kissing her too. More than he did with you.

   From that point on, you began to distance yourself from Mark. It was gradual, slow, but you knew Mark could tell. When he finally surpassed you academically too, you started harbouring a resentment towards him, and the rivalry between you two started.

   You were somewhat hoping he’d confront you, at least wonder why your attitude towards him had seemed to change in the blink of an eye, but he hadn’t. And that stung.

   Obviously rumours had circulated in middle school about what was going on between you two. Kids, no, people love to talk. And talk they did. 

   It had been widely known that you and Mark used to be inseparable at one point in time, and it was jarring seeing how differently you two were acting around each other.

   Mark and that friend of yours had broken up some time after that, and evidently she was pissed. It seemed as if she had begun spreading gossip about you, claiming that you had been some sort of psycho ex-girlfriend and that you had threatened Mark to break up with her, essentially, she was villainising you.

   When high school finally rolled around, Mark’s ex had moved by then—you weren’t sure where and you didn’t care to know. The rumours eventually died down with her absence, and you thought that maybe, just maybe, you and Mark could finally make amends, bury the hatchet, as one would say. But that never happened.

   Looking back, you’re a bit amused at what an eventful and dramatic childhood you had. All those scandals at just thirteen? What a boss bitch. Present you would not be able to stomach that.

   You take a peek at Mark. He’s attractive. Of course he is. He had been a cute kid, no doubt, but as he’s aged, he’s matured into his good looking features. He’s not the rugged and manly kind of good looking, he’s got more of a sweet boyish look to him, and in your opinion, it adds to his charm. 

   “What are you staring at?” 

   Shit, you’ve been caught. No, caught? It’s not like you were doing something you shouldn’t have. “Nothing.” You reach forward to take a sip from the infamous Coke can. It’s lukewarm, but you gulp it down regardless, trying to appear unfazed.

   “Were you checking me out?”

   Disaster strikes just as those words leave Mark’s lips. The putrid sensation of warm coke leaves your mouth entirely, not because you’ve begrudgingly swallowed it all, but because you’ve spit it out from the sheer shock of Mark’s question. 

   “Hey! What the fuck?” Mark stands from his chair across from you and its legs scrape against the floor with a sound that makes your skin crawl. 

   You cough and sputter, gasping for air. Once you’ve gotten past that tight feeling in your throat, you wipe the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. A few droplets of the sugary drink dribble onto your shirt. But fortunately, well for you at least, you’re not as drenched in spit-laced Coke as Mark is. 

   “Shit!” You lift your gaze to look at Mark, who’s surprised, to say the least. 

   Mark takes a breath to say something, the words on the tip of his tongue, but he clamps his mouth shut, opting to groan in annoyance instead. “Jesus, why’d you even do that?”

   Your face burns in embarrassment. No way you’re going to admit to him that you were checking him out. Sort of. “I don’t know, it just went down the wrong channel, I guess.”

   Mark’s lips form a thin line of dissatisfaction. “Yeah, okay, whatever.” He cringes as his shirt sticks to him. “ I’m gonna go change.”

   He runs a hand through his hair, face upturned in frustration as he stomps up the stairs, his footsteps echoing throughout the living room. Your eyes follow his figure until he turns a left into his room. 

   You sigh. If you were home alone, you would have screamed in humiliation. The can of Coke on the table mocks you. You resist the urge to pick it up and hurl it into Mark’s neighbour’s backyard—well, your backyard. 

   A sliver of positivity presents itself in the form of you and Mark’s mostly unscathed worksheets. There are a few stray droplets here and there, but it’s barely noticeable. It would’ve been much worse for both Mark and you if you had drenched those as well. In fact, your homework wouldn’t be drenched in just saliva and Coke, but also in tears at that point. 

   You curse the can in your grasp, its aluminium smooth against your skin, before you dump it in the bin. Good riddance, bitch. 

   I should apologise. You can suck up your pride for that. No, this isn’t even about petty things like pride anymore. That shouldn’t matter. I should apologise, you think to yourself firmly.

   Alright. Apologising. Sorry. You inhale deeply, gathering your senses and calming your jittery nerves. Why are you even nervous? It’s not like you’re professing your undying love to him. Chill the fuck out.

   As you’re standing before Mark’s single, wooden door (which looks extremely daunting for some reason), it doesn’t dawn on you that perhaps you should knock first.

   If it had, then perhaps you wouldn’t be staring at a shirtless Mark, your hand still wrapped around his doorknob and your mouth hung agape.

   “Oh my God, Mark!” You cover your eyes, the door shutting behind you with a creak. You’re a bit ashamed at how fast your cheeks are overtaken by a hot, prickling feeling. “Why are you naked?”

   Mark, though just as startled as you are, has the common sense to reach blindly for the stained shirt he just took off, holding it in front of him. “What do you mean why am I naked? Why are you here?”

   You take a few steps back, your back pressed up against the door. “I- I came up here to say I’m sorry. You know, for uh, just now?”

   Your hands slowly fall to your sides as you burn holes into Mark’s carpeted floor with your eyes instead. 

   “Oh, uh, o-okay. Apology accepted, I guess.” Mark’s voice cracks and he clears his throat. “Let me just uhm—”

   You can hear his drawer sliding open and the faint rustle of fabric. All the while you keep your gaze glued to the floor, feeling your cheeks grow warmer by the second. Oh my God, you’re acting like a little girl who’s just held a boy’s hand for the first time.

   This isn’t the first time you’ve seen a guy naked—for fuck’s sake, Mark’s not even naked. He’s all covered up where he should be. Why is the sight of just his bare body from the waist up making your mind go blank and your palms grow sweaty? It’s not like you have feelings for him anymore. No, you don't.

   “You can uh, you can look up now.”

   You steel yourself, looking up to face Mark. Why did you have to steel yourself? It’s not like he’d have taken even more clothes off once you looked up again. You feel like slamming your head into the wall.

   You fiddle with your fingers, searching for something to say to try and ease the tension. “Uh, sorry. For spilling that Coke all over you, I mean.” You scratch the nape of your neck. “And for you know, walking in on you changing.”

   “Why didn’t you leave?”

   Your shoulders slump. “Huh?”

   Mark chuckles confidently, like he’s unabashed. His cheeks are ablaze with colour, though. “I mean, why didn’t you just back out of the room when you walked in on me changing? Why’d you just stand there?”

   You blink at him. Why didn’t you just leave? “I- I froze up, okay? Don’t bully me!” Your ears are burning.

   “Yeah, okay, okay.” Mark raises his hands by his sides, that entertained smile never leaving his lips. “Let’s go back down, okay? I still need to finish my work.”

   You chew on your inner cheek. “Yeah, whatever,” you try to find a creative name to call him.

   “Yeah, I know. Nerd.” Mark raises his brows at you, still with that amused grin. You wish you could smack it right off his stupidly handsome face.

   You huff, turning on your heel and practically booking it to the stairs. Mark catches up to you in no time with long, languid strides. Stupid long ass legs.

   “Hey, wait up, loser,” he says, a hint of delight in his voice. He pokes your side and you jump, shoving his hand away and mustering a weak glare at him. “Oh, are you ticklish?”

   You gnaw on your bottom lip. “No, I’m not, fatass!” Despite your harsh tone, your cheeks deceive you, blossoming with warmth yet again.

   Mark smiles genuinely this time, although there’s no sarcastic edge to it whatsoever. “You getting shy?”

   “No, I’m not.”

   “Hey, don’t be upset!” The next thing Mark says is nearly incomprehensible, but you hear it. Oh, you definitely do.

   “You look cute.”

   Your head swivels to look back at Mark, and you realise that he hadn’t meant for you to hear that.

   The faintest of smiles teases your lips, before you turn away, denying him the satisfaction of seeing you break out into a grin. “Yeah, whatever, Mark.”

   Now, it’s Mark’s turn to be enveloped in heat as a red tint spreads across his cheeks.

[earthrealsvn]

rubatosis [t.s]

rubatosis (n: the unsettling awareness of your heartbeat); in which Todoroki Shoto runs from the lantern demon

category: horror, angst

w.c: 935

warning(s): kinda suggestive, character death

a/n: i don’t really know what this is. i was writing fluff and then i started this instead. but i’m done with finals so hopefully i’ll be able to write more.

the creaking of a swinging lantern sent a shock of fear into Shoto’s heart. he thought he’d lost it a few streets back, so how had it found him again?

“Shoto… why are you trying to hide from me?” his stomach twisted, the sickly sweet voice making him want to vomit.

he pressed himself further into the wall, hoping it would pass him without looking too much into the shadowy alley. rough brick nicked at his skin as Shoto closed his eyes tightly. his breath became labored as the noise grew closer and he was suddenly very aware of his heartbeat. it pounded loudly in the male’s ears and the anxiety building in his chest skyrocketed.

all too abruptly, it became silent. there was no longer the noise that rang in his ears, and there was no longer his loud heartbeat. for a brief second, he wanted to believe it was over, but his gut told him something was about to happen. slowly opening his multi-colored eyes, Shoto willed himself to peek out of the alleyway. he couldn’t see it anymore and he hoped it had gone past him. he took a shaky step forward while his hands came up to hold himself up.

“you’re already leaving?” a voice, right in his ear. his heart dropped. his body began to shake, but he refused to look at the monster. even when its fingers curled onto his shoulder, he refused. even when its form pressed against his, he refused. “i just got here.”

its lantern fell with a clatter, the second hand pressing to his abdomen. “why are you..?” Shoto cringed at the sound of his broken voice, barely registering the tears flowing down his face.

“why won’t you look at me, Sho?” it ignored his question and, with a giggle, its tongue brushed against his neck. his eyes screwed shut once again and he desperately wanted this to end. “you know you want to.”

“no…” he mumbled, fists curling. “no!” with a burst of adrenaline, Shoto burst away and began running.

“Sho, that wasn’t nice!” the lilt in its voice began to drop and the creaking of the lantern picked back up. “why do you keep trying to run from me?”

he didn’t answer and careened down different streets, throat on fire. once again, he became acutely aware of his heartbeat. his tears were falling freely, his feet stumbling, and his head spinning. ‘just keep running,’ Shoto told himself as he turned a corner, only to meet the soft body of the monster.

fingers dug into his ankles when he tried to crawl away, pulling him closer.

“please… please let me go,” Shoto was sobbing now, hands desperately gripping the fabric of its robe. it seemed to finally sink in that the streets were empty. he was alone, alone with this thing that now had him in the palm of its hand and he could do nothing. no one was around to help him, they wouldn’t come no matter how much he screamed.

maybe he should’ve forgiven his father. maybe he should’ve tried harder to make more friends. maybe he should have told his family that he loved them. maybe he should’ve followed his companions to the mall that day. maybe—

“Sho,” you straddled his stomach, smiling down at him gently. your lantern swung on its pole next to you, the light brightening with each passing second. “Sho, look at me.” your hands cupped his face, wiping away his tears.

“please…” he wailed, grip on your clothes tightening. when you flashed him a crooked smile filled with sharp teeth, he choked out a weak sob. “then at least tell me why. i want—”

“oh, Sho,” you crooned, hands sliding down to rest on his chest, “i just wanted you.”

your eyes sparkled crimson as you leaned down, lips melding to his own. the lantern’s light burned bright, intruding Shoto’s vision. a cry was swallowed by your mouth and the boy below you stopped moving.

humming, you parted from him, his soul dangling from your lips. you rose from his body and turned to your lantern, opening the door and spitting him out into the dimming light.

“we’re together now, Sho,” taking the pole in hand, you moved down the road. screams rang from behind you as the mortals discovered his body. while they called for help, you stepped into the shadows, grin on your lips.

——

Shoto found himself in an empty space, nothing but darkness around him. he turned in a circle a few times, eyes desperate to find something to look at. much to his chagrin, there wasn’t anything to look at but darkness.

“hello?” he called, panic once again filling his lungs. “can anyone hear me? hello? is anyone there?”

he didn’t know how long he screamed for, how long his heartbeat rang in his ears for, but his throat eventually went raw and his voice died out. he sank to his knees and cried, wishing he could go home.

“um… excuse me?” a hand on his shoulder sent him reeling forward, arms wrapping around himself for comfort. his eyes met ones of brown, the owner looking as confused as Shoto felt. “my name is Hinata Shoyo. who are you? how did we get here? where even is here?”

“my name is Todoroki Shoto,” the split-haired male replied with his scratchy voice, “and i don’t know.”

——————————

some slight context: the reader is a demon / spirit that can take the souls of people and put them into her lantern. Shoto was her first victim, thus why he’s alone until Shoyo is killed.

[hedwigstalons]

Reunion

Something soft for @gumnut-logic‘s Fluffember.  There is no way I’ll be able to do 30 separate fics but this kinda covers ‘reassure’, ‘special person’, ‘together’ and ‘bedtime’.  

It’s not edited or polished but I wanted to get something out before inspiration abandoned me again.

xoxoxox

Brandon closed the holocall and slumped back on the couch with a contented sigh.  Three months.  Three long and agonising months in close quarters with the Lemaires for work meant that not only had seeing Alan been out of the question, their calls had been distinctly censored.  Or rather the calls had been more guarded after the one attempt at being, ahem, intimate, that Madeline had walked in on.  He still cringed at the memory.  Nope, calls had been kept distinctly more bland after that incident.  

He’d seized on the chance to talk freely the moment he had got home, not even stopping to unpack, and now he was exhausted.  A wave of tiredness swept over Brandon, post travel fatigue mixed with the comfortable glow that came from talking to Alan and being back in his own territory.  The sighs turned to a yawn which in turn gave way to gentle snores.  Barely an hour later he was startled from his nap by a loud and insistent knocking at the door.

***

Alan turned up the track, feeling the road beneath the car getting bumpier and bumpier.  While he was grateful to Parker for the lessons that enabled him to make this journey solo, his education in driving had been rather lacking in how to choose an appropriate car; the sleek, red sports car, which had looked perfect on the hire yard forecourt, now felt woefully ill-equipped to deal with the worsening terrain.

He checked and rechecked the address that Brandon had given him, wondering if he had taken a wrong turn but everything tallied up.  The bachs that lined the lane at intervals were mostly in darkness, as would be expected for holiday homes out of season, and he struggled to imagine Brandon actually living in one of the small cabins.  The one ahead of him, however, showed signs of occupation, a muted light shining out through the glass in the door.  He turned into the empty parking spot next to the cabin and killed the engine.

Grabbing his duffel off the passenger seat, the car seemingly lacking a trunk, Alan steeled himself and headed towards the front door.  He paused on the step, taking in deep breaths of the air that held the unmistakable tang of snow as it blew down from the nearby mountain.  It had felt such a good idea at the time, rushing off to New Zealand the second he closed the call with Brandon, but now he was here he wondered if he was coming across as too needy, too forward.  Perhaps he should have waited until morning.  

Scott had pencilled in two days off rota the moment Alan had gone to him with Brandon’s return date, two days that he hadn’t dared tell his boyfriend about in case the world conspired against them and ripped that precious time away in a whirlwind of rescues.  But for once the world had been obliging and so here he was, bag in hand, about to surprise the man who had barely left his thoughts during their enforced separation.  Too late for doubts now, he was here.  One more deep breath and he rapped on the door with rather more confidence than he felt.

***

The knocking, loud and unexpected, had Brandon nearly rolling off the couch at the intrusion.  Rubbing his eyes he checked the time wondering who the hell could be calling on him at this time of night.  It was probably just some lost holiday maker, struggling to find which rental was theirs in the dark and seeking help from the nearest cabin that looked occupied.  It wouldn’t be the first time he had had to direct someone further up or back down the track depending on which cabin number they had failed to find.  He was almost an unofficial warden for the lane being it’s only permanent resident, not that he was there much of the time himself as this latest work trip had proved.  

Brandon hauled himself to his feet, preparing to point the way to whichever lost soul had found his bach this time.  He shambled down the hallway, stretching the kinks out as he went, his eyes still bleary as he unlatched the door.  He blinked sleepily, his brain not fully registering the sight.

***

From his place on the step Alan could see the familiar silhouette making its way down the hallway.  Nervous excitement fluttered in his stomach as he waited for Brandon to open up.  The butterflies intensified at the sound of the lock being opened.  Moments later there he was, the ginger curls all mussed up and, Alan noticed guiltily, yawning and rubbing his eyes in a way that suggested he’d just woken up.  

“Hey,” Alan greeted Brandon, smiling sheepishly.

“Alan?”  Brandon steadied himself on the doorframe, exhaustion still keeping tight hold on his body.

“Yeah, uh, can I come in?”  New Zealand was far colder than the island and Alan was feeling to temperature drop keenly, it probably didn’t help that he was still only in a t-shirt.  Seeing Brandon completely thrown for a loop had him seriously doubting the wisdom of his actions.  

“Oh God, yeah,” Brandon stepped to one side to let Alan in, the reality finally sinking in that Alan really was there on his front step, “I just wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

“I said I’d come as soon as I could,” Alan mumbled in explanation as he followed Brandon up the hallway and towards the lit room at the back of the cabin.

This was the first time that Alan had visited his home, it normally making far more sense for him to go to the island, and Brandon was suddenly uncomfortably aware of just how far removed it was from the opulence of Alan’s usual surroundings.  Even on a good day the cabin was pretty shabby and the whole four roomed building could easily fit inside the lounge of the Tracy villa.  Now, after three months of sitting empty the bach smelled musty and in need of a good airing, there was also a damp chill in the air which suggested the roof might have sprung a leak somewhere.  He had been meaning to spruce the place up a bit before Alan arrived, expecting him in the morning at the earliest; he hadn’t counted on the Tracy definition of ‘soon’ applying to vacation time as well.

Alan followed Brandon into the lounge area and dropped his bag on the floor, noting that his wasn’t the only case in the corner of the room.  He was really starting to regret heading over so quickly especially seeing as Brandon hadn’t even looked him in the eye since inviting him in, in fact he hadn’t even turned to face him since they reached the lounge.

Brandon scratched the back of his neck.  He’d been foolish to invite Alan to stay.  How could his little cabin compare to Tracy Island?  He felt the overwhelming need to explain.

“So, welcome to Casa Berrenger.  On the flanks of what has to be the greatest mountain in the world.”  He gesticulated at blinds that were closed across the picture window.  “I mean, I saw this place and thought ‘Hey Brandon, what could be cooler than having Ruapehu as your neighbour’.  You might have seen it, in some of my vlogs...”

“Brandon…”

“I filmed the very first one right on the slopes out there.  It was, like, totally awesome.  It’s still my favourite place to board, hence the cabin.  You should come stay when the snow’s right and I can take you on out the slopes, that would be, like, amazing...”

“Brandon…”  Alan hadn’t heard Brandon this babbling since he’d helped pluck him off a mountain following an avalanche.  Back then he’d initially taken Brandon’s non-stop chatter to be part of his natural exuberance but as he got to know him more he learnt that it was more a sign of nerves, a cover for the insecurities he kept hidden from the viewers.

“Except you’ve probably been there, right?  I mean, you’ve been everywhere.  But yeah, this little place isn’t much to look at now but in the morning when you can see her,” he waved vaguely at the shut blinds again, “man, the views more than make up for…”

“BRANDON!”

Brandon couldn’t put it off any longer.  He turned, hardly daring to meet Alan’s eyes which he was sure would show some sort of contempt at the small space with it’s meagre and mismatched furnishings.

Alan reached out and gently took hold of Brandon’s hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of it. “I don’t care where you live.  I didn’t come here to see the mountain.  I came because I wanted to see you...because I’ve missed you.”

Brandon looked up to see only warmth and softness in Alan’s gaze.  He closed the small gap between them, melting into the embrace as he rested his chin on Alan’s shoulder and felt a fool for worrying that Alan would be so shallow as to judge him on his home.  Despite their riches the Tracy family had never shown any signs of looking down on those who had less than them but he’d hardly ever let anyone cross the threshold of his little mountain sanctuary and it left him feeling vulnerable.

“I missed you too, three months is far too long,” he sighed as he gently planted a kiss on the warm neck.  Feeling the arms around him pull him in that bit closer he raised his head again so see a need darkening Alan’s eyes, a need that he felt mirrored in himself.  “Y’know, I was just off to bed when you got here.”

Alan quirked an eyebrow, knowing full well that Brandon had already been asleep despite being still fully clothed.  “Now that sounds like a nice idea, I could probably do with turning in too,” he yawned, “you aren’t the only one that’s been travelling, ‘cept I’ve been working too.”

“Uh, one slight problem,” Brandon smirked.  “This place isn’t as large as yours and, uh, there’s no guest room.  D’you think Virgil would have a problem with that?” he asked, referring to the rules laid down when they first hooked up which meant he always had a guest room available on the island, even if he never used it.

Alan cocked his head to one side as though giving the issue some serious consideration.  “Oh, I think we’ll find a way to manage.”  The lust in his eyes deepened as Brandon pulled away and led them back up the hallway towards the bedroom.

“Well then, I think it’s bedtime.”

[riftimagines]

hello 💓 if you're accepting requests (feel free to ignore), I'd really appreciate it if you wrote something about sett. for a few weeks, his girlfriend avoids him because someone tells her that she is too much trouble for him after finding out she's hiding an eating disorder and self-harm from sett. she believes this person and decides it's realy the best if she just disappears from his life. sett finds out and immediately goes to find her? fluff and soft boi sett? 🥺❤ thank u ❤

I had actually did headcanons for this but it just got too long so I turned it into a  one shot! I hope you don't mind that and you still like this!

Sett x Self-harming!Eating Disorder!Reader

Warnings: Trigger Warning, Attempted Suicide, Self Harm, Minor Character Death, Minor Blood, Minor Swearing.

Catching the eye of the infamous Ionian pit fighting ring boss seemed impossible but lo and behold one trip to the pits with some adventurous friends and now you hardly ever leave his side. Ever loving and charming in his own gruff way. He always made you feel normal and happy even on days where you didn’t feel right. When you felt empty and not enough food could fill it or even the thought of food made you want to throw up and never eat again he was there to make all the badness go away. Everything for once felt decently right and you could just live as best as you could with someone that actually loved you for you. Too bad that didn’t sit well with some of the more envious eyes.

A green monster’s eyes stare into the back of your head with bitterness. Why would their tough, strong, handsome boss care for such a weak, pathetic nobody like you? You weren’t even a fighter for deities sakes! So what made little worthless you so much better then them? They were stronger, better looking, and didn’t have weird eating problems. They just needed you to leave him since Sett seemed so adamant on staying with you. Unfortunately for you the opportunity for them to strike arose rather quickly when Sett turns to you.

“Hey, babe I need to check in with my bookies for the nights payouts, you keep my seat warm alright?” You nod happily and he grins and gives you a quick peck on the cheek before walking off to the bookies office. As you sit there you can’t help but feel a looming presences behind you. Turning around you spot one of Setts underling fighters looking at you. They take your look as an invitation to saunter up to you and glare down at you in Setts seat. You can feel the bubble of anxiety building up in your abdomen as they stare you down. They pick up a fruit from the table next to the seat your in and they lean in close as they bite down on the fruit hard enough that you could feel the juice from it land on your cheek. You cringe at the sight and your are not sure if your want to eat a fruit or throw up at the thought of eating it. They chew for a moment before before speaking to you.

“So your the boss’s new arm candy? Must be for charity or something.” Your brows fur in confusion and you glare up at them. They snort loudly and eat more of the fruit.

“I mean why would such a man like Sett like a little broken thing like you? So feeble, useless really, I heard you can’t even eat right. Here, have a fruit.” They toss one of the same fruits they were eating at you. You catch it and stare at the fruit like its a foreign object. It looked edible but then could you stop eating or would it just make you gag? As you contemplate the fruit your harasser just laughed.

“See, you can’t even decide if you want to do a basic human function. Even babies know what they want. I feel kinda bad for the boss. He has to put up with you and whatever the hell is wrong with you. Such a pain in the ass if you ask me. He probably just stays with you so he looks nice to better people. You know attract the better normal people.” You look down in shame. Sett wouldn’t do that to you, would he? No, he wouldn’t, but then again he didn’t know the broken side of you. The days of eating mindlessly or not eating at all for a couple days or the days where  you did eat but just threw it all up. He didn’t know that you would physically beat yourself up about it. The scars that criss crossed across your arms, a daily reminder of the darkness in your mind. As your mind wondered the underling observed you and realized what you were thinking.

“ Oh, he doesn’t know does he? Now your a lier as well as a broken waste of space. You know, if you really supposedly love him wouldn’t you want him to be happy with someone who’s probably better for him in the long run. I’m sure you know as soon as he finds out about your little eating problem he’ll want you leave you for something better. Might as well save yourself some pain and let him go first don’t you think?” You felt a horrible familiar pain in your heart. It would be better for Sett if you weren’t around being a ball and chain. He could most defiantly do better then you. He deserved someone better then you. The fighters eyes brightened as the seeds of doubt were now planted in your head. It would only be a matter of time before your out of the picture.

“You just think about that, huh? If you can’t be good for him let him have someone who is good for him. Don’t let him suffer your problems. He doesn’t deserve your problems, no one does.” They say that last part with bitterness and a sharp in your face glare then made their leave back to the corner where they came from. So many things running through you head. Sett loves you right? Yeah he does, of course he does and you love him, but he didn’t know about your problems. He didn’t know that you had trouble with eating or how much you hated your self because of it. He doesn’t know that your a dirty lier that hasn’t been honest with him about all your faults. The fighter was right, you needed to leave Sett, he needed someone so much more then you. A perfect, honest, wonderful person for a wonderful, handsome man like him. You were lost in thought for who knows how long until a large shadow overcast you. Sett looks down with you with his lovely sharp toothed grin and dipped down to kiss you.

“Hey babe, I’m back everything’s good to go. You ok there hun? You look a little sad. Did someone hurt you? Just tell me babe I’ll make sure they’ll never hurt you again.” He cracks his knuckles and neck and looks around for any potential culprits.

“No love, I’m just tired its getting late thats all.” You tell him. More lies. Another fault and reason why Sett should be free from you. He looks a bit skeptical but he doesn’t push and instead settles down in his seat next to you and holds you close to him. He was so warm and comforting. So much more then you deserved. Starting tomorrow Sett will be free, no matter how much it would wound your heart.

The following weeks were so incredibly hard. You had been avoiding Sett like a plague and it was waring on your very soul. Every time he wanted to see you you would leave or make an excuse. Any dates he wanted to make you’d say no. He’d be so confused and sad but you’d take off before he could say anything. Everyday now you would cry. Everyday controlling how you ate was more of a task then it had ever been before. The small blade you had to defend your self now became the thing of your self destruction hardly ever leaving your hand and in those hands left a trail of blood and shame in its wake. In the sanguine pools around your limbs your life drained from you. It hurt so bad but good at the same time. The pain of your skin being split open by a sharp blade hurt for a short while but there was also and inexplicable relief in this pain. Though in the end your end will not come. Only a new mark will stay on your tapestry of sorrow that was your skin. This tapestry had become your life recently. The constant waves of agony that washed through you were only soothed this way. You try to convince yourself that Sett could never have loved this. This was all for the best, all for your dear love, Sett. It had to be.

Unknown to you Sett was getting rather fed up with all this running away and avoiding him. He loves you dammit and he knows you love him too! So why the hell were you being so distant lately? He was grumbling to himself and putting everyone in the pit on edge. Bookie and fighter a like knew what happens when you test the Boss when he’s in a bad mood. Nothing good they’ll tell you what. While everyone was generally avoiding Sett while he was irritated one particular fighter saw this as a chance. You were gone, you had to be to put him in this kind of mood. Time to test the waters. They made their way over to the beast man, who paid them no mind in the slightest. They frowned then coughed loud enough for the boss’s ears to twitch. Sett quickly and aggressively rounded on them and growled.

“What do you want? Can’t you see I’m not in the mood right now? Buzz off!” They were taken a little aback by his sheer aggressiveness. Now they knew he’d be a little upset but to be this upset over a broken thing like you was a bit ridiculous. It almost seems that he actually liked you but that couldn’t be it because no one in their right mind could like you. Well if he was going to be rude then they could be rude right back.

“No need to be so rude Boss. Im sorry if your little fling flaked out on you but they were certainly nothing to be upset about losing.” Before they could say anything else Sett moved with such speed they had no time to react. Their head hit the wall so hard the world started to blur and spin. Sett was snarling as he lifted up this dead weight bastard by the throat and slammed his head against the wall again. No one talked about you like that in front of him NO ONE.

“And just what the hell would you know about them?!” They yelped in pain as Sett punched them hard in the gut hard enough for some blood to dribble out of their mouth. A dark grin appeared on their blood stained face making Sett glare and tighten his grip on their throat. Ah, they had truly underestimated how much he didn’t know about you. It was likely Sett wouldn’t let them live but at least they could go out knowing Sett’s love would waver when he hears the truth about you and maybe just maybe you had already left this world and they could rub it in your face in the afterlife.

“More then you apparently. Little flake was broken anyway. It would be so much better for you if you just let the little defect go. I mean a guy like you shouldn’t have to deal with a creature that can’t decide if they want to eat a lot or nothing then just throw it all up or just spit up acid. Then on top of that have to deal with their “accidents” that they give themselves because they can’t handle their own mind. Honestly a waste of life that no one should put up with. You should just let them go. That is if they haven’t left this world already.” Sett blinks as he takes in all that information. You had eating problems? You HURT yourself? You want to avoid him so you could break yourself more because you were afraid of he would leave you? None of that set well with the beast man. You didn’t need to hide that from him. He loved you so much and if you had problems he’d want to be there for you. He NEEDED to be there for you, but first he needed to take out the trash. With a deep growl Sett channeled some of his Vastayan power into his arm and quickly crushed their throat. Blood sputtered out of their mouth for a moment before they fell completely limp. Sett dropped them like a sack of potatoes and turned to face some of the other fighters who silently watched the scene unfold and nodded for them to get rid of the body. Two of them moved quickly to dispose of the corpse and the others stood there in fear of their boss.

“Alright fellas I’m gonna head out for a bit. I’ll be back later with my babe and if anyone has any crap to say to them you’ll end up like that horrible bastard thats being taken out the door, got it?” Everyone in the room collectively agrees and Sett promptly leaves the terrified room behind. He needed to get to you now. If anything that A-hole said was true then you were probably not ok and if you weren’t ok he wasn’t ok. He kept you in mind as he started to run as fast as he could towards your home, hopefully he wasn’t too late.

In your seemingly dark and cold abode you sat on the floor in front of you bed. Sullen, in pain, and defeated there seemed to be no end to this sadness today. The only thoughts that ran through your mind were of your imperfections and your love who needed to be free from the blemishes of your life. You held the blade in your hand precariously. You were so used to the blade grazing the skin as of late that it didn’t bring anymore of that reliving pain. Perhaps you needed to go deeper. Yes, you needed to go deeper the pain was deeper so you just have to push it in closer to the core of your misery. You looked at the thing that had become a part of you arm its sharpness could go in so far it could be so easy for it to just pierce the core of your being. If it did everything would end. All the pain, the doubt, the indecision, gone. Thats what you want. Everything to be gone. You bring your end closer to you and in the process catch the sight of your arms tattered in red lines and blood splatter of today. Sett would be so sad to see that. He never liked to see you in pain, always wanting to fight away all your problems, such a sweetheart. A small smile actually appeared on your face as you recalled the memory of the day Sett told you he’d kick the ever-loving ass out of anyone that would even try hurt you. Such nice thoughts. Hopefully Sett’s next love will appreciate such protectiveness. The sliver of a smile you had fades and the knife in your hand and the wounds on your arms become more real. The pain rolling back into your chest double time after the happy memory. No he didn’t need this. You were a horrible mess that needed to be disposed of and you had the way to be disposed of in your hand. You feel nauseated as your mind races. Everything hurts. Everything hurts please make it stop! You gasp and begin to cry. You didn’t want to die, you wanted to live happily with Sett, but that could never be. You didn’t want to be that much of a burden to him. This is how it has to be. You hesitantly bring the blade up to your chest and start to hyperventilate. No, yes, no, yes, don’t do it you deserve to be happy with someone that loves you and he’s out there waiting for you. Lies, he probably doesn’t even notice your gone just end it and lets be free from all this pain. Your so lost in thought you don’t hear the pounding on the door or the sound of it breaking.

“Babe? Babe?!” The loud, sudden yelling in the room draws you from your thoughts and a blur rushes to you and wrenches the knife from your hand and throws it across the room. Your in shock as two large, warm, strong arms wrap themselves around you and pulls you in to the large man their attached to. You look up and see red fluffy hair and a dark purple fluffy vest collar in your face. Sett, he came for you. Tears bubble up and begin to rain down on Sett’s shoulder. He coos you softly and sits down fully on the floor and pulls you into his lap. His head presses softly against yours and he begins to kiss your tears away. A calloused hand cups the side of your face and makes you look up at him. He looks so concerned and slightly frightened. He was scared of losing you and you almost let your life slip away. So stupid, your so stupid, he really did need someone better.

“No I don’t! The only person I need is you. I was so worried about you. You started avoiding me and I didn’t know why. I was so confused, I didn’t understand what was happening. I still don’t to be completely honest but I want to know. I want to understand so you don’t have to feel like you have to do this. So you don’t have to hide from me and almost leave me.” His voice trembled at the end. You look upon his face and see his eyes shimmering like tears that wanted to fall but didn’t. He missed you so much and it felt so nice to have you in his arms, a little beat up but alive.

“But there’s so much wrong with me. You don’t have to deal with it, you shouldn’t have to. You don’t have to deal with me not being able to control my eating habits or this.” You gesture to the scars on your arms and your tear stained face.

“I’m a mess. A horrible mistake upon you and the world.” You were silenced by a deep loving kiss that held you both quiet until neither of you could breathe. The kiss ended with both of you gasping for air but Sett recovered faster and filled the quiet with his voice.

“Don’t be saying that crap. I know you feel bad, but your definitely not those things. I was told the same thing growing up. That I was a horrible mistake and nothing but a pain in the ass for my mama. She didn’t care about that though and whenever I felt bad she’d tell me that as long as one person in the world was happy with you then your life is worth living. I’m that one person. I love you so much and I don’t care if it takes me my whole life to understand or maybe I’ll never understand but the point is, I’m here for you and as long as I’m here for you, you don’t need to feel alone or ashamed. We can take all the time you need babe. I’ll be right here.” Your eyes filled with tears once again not from sadness but with joy. He truly loved you so much and was so patient with you. Perhaps, this can work. It would take a lot of time but maybe you could get better. As long as Sett was by your side it felt like you could just make it through and see some light at the end of your previously dark tunnel. You smile at him happily and cuddle into him. He lets out a small laugh.

“See, it’ll be ok, hun. Now lets get you cleaned up a bit your starting to look tougher then me!” He chuckled and kissed the scars on your arms as he picks you up easily. You can feel a better mood creeping in and jest with him.

“I am tougher then you.” He smiles and starts to kiss at your neck making you giggle and you swat at him playfully.

“Hmm, you might be right there, babe. You might have to protect me every now and then.” You nod and he snuggles into your nape. The light is even brighter now and for the first time in a long time you feel something you haven’t felt in a long time, Hope.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[spell-cleaver]

(Luke Palpatine AU) Since becoming Emperor, Luke had grown accustomed to the fact that people were going to spy on every little thing he did, so when he started watching a holo drama, he knew that it would not last long. What he didn't expect was for Nova to join him.

Previous parts on the masterpost here!

Since becoming Emperor, Luke had grown accustomed to the fact that people were going to spy on every little thing he did, so when he started watching a holo drama, he knew that it would not last long. What he didn’t expect was for Nova to join him.

But there she was sitting next to him, just as swaddled in blankets as he was, the long colo claw fish V— Luke had received the previous night acting as a pillow long enough for both of them to use. The rest of his gifts were snuggled around them on the large sofa as well, and Luke felt so… comfortable, lying atop cuddly toys and watching something pathetic and ridiculous like this, like he was half his age.

When the episode finished, Nova glanced at him. “Do you want to watch the next one?”

Luke blinked. “I can?”

“Of course you can,” she said simply and patiently. “Do you want to?”

He glanced at the holo projector. “It’s not a good show.”

“It’s really not. But it’s fun to watch.”

“And it’s getting late.”

“Yes.”

“And I shouldn’t waste my time on this sort of trash.”

Nova pouted. “That’s your father talking.”

“It’s me talking—”

“C'mon, you’re fourteen. You should be having sleepovers and watching trashy shows until your eyes bleed.” She swatted his arm. “Do you want to watch the next one?”

“I— no,” he decided, getting up. The nexu toy tumbled off his lap and landed on top of the holoprojector, its face being cast into odd, slightly comical shadows by the blue light. “No, I don’t want to.”

Nova said, “Hmmm,” and watched him go.

*

And then the next morning, she said to him, “How many times how you spoken to someone your own age?”

He looked at her. She knew the answer to that. “Zero,” he said.

She wrinkled her nose.

“Well then.” She patted him on the shoulder and walked away. “We should fix that.”

*

“Nova,” Luke said that afternoon, staring at the two teenagers sitting awkwardly on one of the sofas in the entrance chamber to his quarters, as far away from each other as they could get without standing up and being explicitly rude, “what did you do.”

It had to have been her. No one else would’ve done this.

“You said you’d never spoken to someone your own age,” she said cheerfully. Luke flushed berry-red, and hated the look one of the teenagers, a girl dressed in white with a bun of dark braids, gave him at that. It was far too close to pity.

“These two agreed to meet you, and you just have to watch one movie together,” she badgered, taking Luke’s shoulder and steering him closer. He felt like a five year old. “If you decided you all hate each other, then you never have to socialise again, but until then, please give it a chance, Luke.”

She whispered. “It’ll be good for you.”

Luke swallowed tightly, hating the way the two teenagers—likely infinitely cleverer, more socialised, more experienced than him—were gazing at him. It was probably scorn—scorn for the child emperor who couldn’t even talk to his peers—

Then Nova ushered them all into the living room of his quarters and sat them down around the holoprojector. They each took separate chairs or sofas, and Luke was intimately aware of the confused glances his Noghri bodyguards were giving and receiving from the newcomers, but he stubbornly tried not to flush again.

“So, uh,” he said. “I’m Luke.”

“We know,” the girl said.

He nodded. “Right.”

She took pity on him and smiled. “This is Zevulon Veers,” she said, and the other teenager—a tall, dark-haired human—gave her a look.

“I was going to introduce myself, thank you.”

“Well, now you don’t have to.”

“Any relation to General Veers?” Luke asked tentatively.

Zevulon… didn’t frown, but he didn’t smile, either. “My father. I hardly ever see him.”

Ah. If only Luke had had that pleasure with his father, he might not have disappointed him as much.

“I met him yesterday,” he offered. “Apparently Vader roped him into teaching me how to shoot.”

“You don’t know how to shoot?” asked the girl. Her voice was loud, regal, and it brimmed with confidence. Luke felt like a shadow next to her.

“No,” he said tightly. “My training never covered that. But Vader and Nova thought it would be a good thing to learn now.” He decided not to mention the whole fight there’d been about that. “The general was a good teacher.”

Zevulon nodded. “He is. When he’s around.”

“When he’s not off slaughtering people?” the girl chimed in.

Zevulon tensed. “Excuse me?”

“What? He’s a general. That’s what he does.”

“It’s his job, he’s good at it. Doesn’t mean you get to insult him for it.” He bristled. “Who even are you? It’s pretty creepy that you know who I am but never thought to return the—”

“I,” she said, glaring daggers, “am Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.”

Oh.

That made sense—Luke recognised her now. She’d been dragged in front of holocams just as much as he had as a kid.

Zevulon snorted. “Ah. That explains it.”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. She puffed herself up. “And what does that mean?”

“You’re all Rebel sympathisers on Alderaan, aren’t you? No wonder you hate my father.”

“We're—” That seemed to have taken the power out of her engines. She grimaced and said, tensely, “That’s not true, and I never said I hated him—”

“No, you just—”

“Can you two… not fight?” Luke asked. “It’s kinda awkward sitting here watching it.”

Zevulon stopped immediately. Leia’s mouth opened and closed for a moment before she did the same. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Luke winced. “Don’t do that. Don’t call me Majesty. I’m just Luke.”

The princess actually smiled a little, at that. “And I’m just Leia.”

“I’ve met your father as well,” he said to her, smiling back. “During the talks with the senators. He was nice. Had some good ideas.”

She nodded. “That’s my father.”

He turned his head. “And Zevulon—”

“Zev.” He fidgeted. “While we’re exchanging names, I’m just Zev.”

Luke nodded. “Alright.”

Then he glanced at the holoprojector. “Do either of you know what you want to watch?”

*

“This is stupid,” Leia said, her mouth full of cake. “Monarchies don’t do arranged marriages anymore, that’s archaic.”

“Hey, you’re the one who randomly decided we should introduce Luke to daytime holonet shows. It’s called Crown of Stars, what did you expect it would be like?”

“I have heard of a few arranged marriages in recent years, mainly between magnates and industrial leaders and Moffs and stuff,” Luke admitted, reaching for the tray of food Nova had sent a droid in to deliver for them. The jogan fruit was sweet when he bit into it; juice dribbled down his chin. “But yeah, it’s not that common. And why does she need to marry that guy anyway? His system doesn’t exactly have any resources that her family would exactly need, and they’re on the edge of Wild Space.”

“It’s a holodrama, it’s not meant to be logical!”

Luke shrugged. “Shouldn’t they at least try?”

“They’re more interested in the drama,” Leia said, drawing out the word a tad longer than needed. “To keep their viewers hooked.”

“To keep their viewers confused?”

“That too.”

“Oh stars, the wedding scene.” Zev cringed away. “I can’t watch.”

“Getting invested, Veers?”

“She’s about to marry someone twice her age while her one true love watches in agony! I can’t bear it!”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Then let’s turn it off—”

A pillow smacked her in the face.

“Hey!” She glared at Luke.

“Shhh, it’s getting tense.”

She chucked the pillow back at him. He threw himself against the sofa to dodge it.

“Oh no,” Zev whimpered, peering through his fingers, “he’s gonna kiss her…”

“Wait, look!” Luke leaned forwards. “Is that—? I don’t understand.”

“Shhh, let it finish.”

“The lover burst in and read out a law that declared the marriage illegal,” Leia drawled. “A law which doesn’t exist, by the way—”

“Oh, that’s a sweet ending.” Luke smiled at the projector.

“They’re kissing and riding off into the sunset together, it’s literally the most cliché ending in the galaxy.”

“But it’s sweet.”                            

Leia had to smile when she glanced at the holo again—at the woman’s beaming face.

“Okay,” she admitted, “it is pretty sweet.” She glanced at Luke and Zev, and cackled when she saw they’d both inched their chairs and sofas closer to the holo, as well as closer together. “You sappy romantics.”

The credits began to roll.

Luke glanced at the time. “Uhhh,” he said, “the time Nova said she was going to lock us in for is up. If you don’t want to stay any longer…”

“Are you kicking us out?” Leia asked. Zev looked hurt.

“No! I just thought… if you did want to leave…”

“Well.” Leia grabbed the remote. “He can leave, but I’m not going to go until you’ve been introduced to a holonet show that is actually good. How about—”

“Are you kidding?” Zev burst out. “They haven’t resolved the secret letter arc yet, and the Count is still missing! Luke has to finish watching the series!”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“One against one.” Zev crossed his arms. “You’re a senator, Leia—”

“Aspiring senator, I’m actually an apprentice legislator—”

“—you like voting. Luke gets the deciding vote.”

Luke smiled. “Crown of Stars.”

“No!”

“There’s too many plotlines that haven’t been wrapped up yet!”

Leia glared at Zev. “You’ve ruined his taste forever.”

“Shhh,” Luke said as the theme began to play. “It’s starting.”

Send me the first sentence of a scene from this AU and I’ll continue it!

Beginning | Previous | Next

[peachybowen]

stupid • r.b

series masterlist

pt.1 pt.2

pairing: ricky bowen x reader

warnings: none

songs: Falling For U by Peachy! and mxmtoon, Wondering by Julia Lester and Olivia Rodrigo

words: 3.6k

AND ALSO I’M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE A MASTERLIST 🤪 YOU CAN SEE WHAT I’M WORKING ON AND YEAHHH

A/N: feedback is always appreciated 🥺 I’m sorry if you find any grammar mistakes. Enjoy xx

I have dreamed of playing the lead since 5th grade. Of course I didn't tell anyone besides my brother and Cousin. When I got home last night, my brother and I talked. He was happy for me. Ej also said that he was really proud of me but he also added that he thinks that Nini deserved better.

,,Yo, what's up? I'm trading in my East High Leopards gear to be a Wildcat, starting today, because it's the day of the read-through! Blessed to be playing Chad. Swipe up for a link to tickets.'' EJ said holding his phone up, smiling the whole time.

,,Hi!'' Ash and I exclaimed simultaneously, walking up to EJ.

,,Say hi to my cousin and my little sister and bye to my cousin and sister.'' he turned his phone off and put it in his jeans pocket.

,,You're in a good mood.'' I mentioned and continued walking beside him, with Ash on his other side.

,,That's just for the fans, Y/N. Inside I'm a bucket of sad.'' he stated and I looked at Ash and then at him.

,,You still not over the not-getting Troy thing?'' Ash asked.

,,I put 3 years into this drama department and now I have to understudy my girlfriend's ex?'' he turned to me.

,,No offense Y/N.” he added and I just laughed and waved it off.

,,I know it sucks. But, I mean; Y/N is Gabriella and I don't think we would want an incest couple in our play, you know.'' Ash explained and I cringed at the thought.

,,Ash is 100% right.'' I agreed and started walking faster, Ash right behind me.

When we arrived at the rehearsal room, I saw Ej putting the Chad Danford card next to the Gabriella one. Ricky and I didn't talk much since the auditions and maybe, just maybe, that was my fault. I have been avoiding him, which was actually pretty hard considering I had almost all my classes with him. He tried to talk to me here and there but I just hummed in response most of the time. Honestly I was just trying to get over my crush on him. He still wasn't over Nini and he actually wanted to take part in the musical for her and I kinda ruined his chances because she did not get the lead. I also didn't want to ruin our friendship. We were friends since kindergarten and I wanted to keep him as a friend. After the auditions, Ash came over. She actually told me not to avoid Ricky but I just thought it was a good idea. Of course Ej agreed with me.

,,Could everyone take their assigned seats?'' Ms.Jenn asked loud enough for everone to hear. I walked to my seat and noticed that Ej put the cards back to how they were.  I sat down with a sigh. Soon after Miss Jenn actually asked Big Red to read the stage directions because Natalie, the stage director, wasn't there. And like 5 seconds after that Ricky took the seat next to me. I looked at Ash, who was sitting across from me. She smiled and turned her attention to the blonde drama teacher.

,,I realize that you all walked in here as strangers.'' she started looking at us.

,,Actually, I'm Y/N and EJ’s, cousin!'' Ashlyn corrected. I could see Ricky looking at me out of the corner of my eye but I just ignored him.

,,But after today, you're a family. Please take your neighbors' hand.'' she finished and everyone did what the teacher said. I took Gina's hand and turned my head to Ricky, who was holding his hand out for me. I took his hand but avoided eye contact.

,,Hand.'' Ms.Jenn said as soon as she saw that Ej and Ricky weren't holding hands. Their heads shot in my direction when they heard me giggle. I stopped immediately.

,,Feel each other's energy. Let the silence speak volumes. In a world full of no, this is a space full of yes.'' the drama teacher preached.

,,Nice. Did you just come up with that?'' Carlos whispered to the middle-aged woman.

,,I did.'' she replied, smiling at him. It was silent. Nobody said anything and I could feel Ricky staring again and I just turned my head to Gina and smiled at her. Seconds later Ms.Jenn started singing ''We're all in this together.''. I let go of Ricky and Gina's hand and looked at the script on my table, highlighting my lines. Ash started to clap after Ms.Jenn finished singing. Nobody clapped beside her so she stopped and everyone looked at her.

,,"Sharpay heads for class, hears singing," "opens the door to the biology lab." "She finds Gabriella and Taylor washing their hands." "They turn to find there are no paper towels in the dispenser. They-'''' Big Red was disrupted by Miss Jenn before he could continue reading.

,,Try to read the punctuation.'' she instructed and smiled at the redhead.

,,"Sharpay comma heads for class period.'''' he said and I grinned. He was so oblivious sometimes it was cute.

We took a break after reading act one. I was talking to Ash but I also kinda watched my brother and Nini talking. And, yes, Ricky looked at them too. Nini got a text, she laughed, and Ricky was on his phone so it was kinda obvious that he sent her a meme or something like that. Ej glared at him and sat down again.

,,Cool glasses.'' I turned my head to see Seb taking a seat next to Ashlyn. She smiled.

,,Thanks. They're my grandmas.'' she acknowledged.

,,I have the same ones at home.'' he laughed.

,,Really? Why?'' I asked, trying to join the conversation again.

,,So, I can see when I'm milking.'' he replied and I was confused.

Milking?

Before I had the chance to ask what he meant by that, Miss Jenn said that we were gonna continue.

I was on stage waiting for Ricky. Ms.Jenn wanted us to start rehearsing early and I wasn't really thrilled. When he came running in, he said that he was sorry for being late.

,,We're diving into page 97.'' Ms.Jenn directed and handed us the script.

,,You mean the last scene?'' Ricky asked just as confused as I was. The teacher just hummed in response.

,,You wanna rehearse this? It's just one line.'' I also asked.

,,Yeah, I've got one, too.'' Ricky stated turning to me.

,,And then there's the kiss.'' Ms.Jenn exclaimed. I looked at her and started to panic.

,,There was no-. I don't remember a kiss in what we read yesterday.'' I stuttered trying to reason with her.

,,It was very much in the original movie.''

,,I only remember a hug.'' I augmented further. I wasn't really in the mood to kiss my best friend. It would just make things more awkward between us.

,,The kiss ended up being cut. Little racy for its time.'' she explained looking at me with a smile.

Later that day I sat in Miss Jenn's office, explaining to her that I just couldn't kiss Ricky.

°Ej's POV°

I was standing outside Ms.Jenn's office, waiting for Y/N when Ashlyn walked up to me.

,,Hi!'' she greeted cheerfully.

,,Go away.'' I simply said.

,,No, you go away. You're standing in front of my locker.''

I stepped away and she opened the locker.

,,I can't believe this. She's around Ricky's finger.''

,,Who?'' Ash asked and looked at me.

,,Miss Jenn! She added a kiss.'' I explained and Ashlyn rolled her eyes.

,,Ej, stop. He's not bribing our director.'' she interrupted.

,,Y/N doesn't want to kiss him, Ash. And I don't want that either.''

,,Being her big brother doesn't mean you own her.'' she commented. I rolled my eyes and changed the subject.

,,I need you to do me a favor.''

,,What kind of favor?'' she asked with a raised brow.

,,I need you to borrow Nini's phone.'' I explained and she looked at me like I was crazy.

,,Borrow? As in steal?''

I just nodded. I needed to be 100% sure that Ricky wasn't in the way of my relationship. Nini was different. She wasn't like other girls. The girl helped me be a better person.

,,Okay, you've just gone up 3 levels of scary!'' the girl stressed, shocked by my words. She tried to reason with me for a bit but then she left, leaving me standing alone in front of the office, waiting for my sister.

°Y/N’s pov°

,,I'm kinda lost. If the play is over, why would we still be dancing?'' Ricky asked beside me. We were back in the rehearsing room. Just as I was about to answer, Carlos came up from behind us.

,,It's a certain call. You're the last two to come out. We want to bring the audience to their feet!'' he explained snickering.

,,Teach them the dance.'' Ricky joked.

,,Carlos? Can we wait for Miss Jenn?'' I pleaded kinda just wanting the director there.

,,Miss Jenn is busy tracking down a prop. She's asked me to create a crescendo, people, so let's stop swirling and let's start twirling.'' Carlos directed calmly.

,,But why are we practicing the bows when we haven't even practiced the play?'' Ricky asked still confused.

,,Because you start with the hardest dance that takes the longest to learn. It's in the Big Book of Broadway.'' Carlos started. Gina came up behind him.

,,Page 374.'' they both finished at the same time. Gina walked away after they both high-fived each other.

Shortly after we started practicing the dance. Ricky was terrible. I mean he tried but he did not succeed. Kinda embarrassing.

,,What is he doing?'' Nini asked from the side as soon as the music stopped. I turned to look at her. She stepped forward and looked at Carlos.

,,Why you're talking to him? I'm right here.''

And that was when I took a step back. I wasn't in the mood to be in the middle of Nini and Ricky drama. I had enough of that over the summer.

,,'Cause you're not here. Not for the right reasons.'' Nini snapped.

,,What's that supposed to mean?'' Ricky asked standing right in front of her. Everyone was silent. Nobody wanted to interrupt that conversation.

,,What I said, Ricky. You hate musicals. You're doing this so we're in each other's grills.''

Carlos took a step forward to break the two apart but they kept on going.

,,Now you're rubbing some weird cologne on your neck.''

,,Hey, you love Throb!''

,,And wasting everybody's time by making fun of something that the rest of us take seriously.'' the brown-haired girl ranted. After the words left her mouth, Carlos told everyone to take a five-minute break and to get out. I stayed just being moral support for Carlos and Ricky. He and Nini argued for a few more seconds, my brother's name was mentioned and Ricky left. Just as Miss Jenn came back, Ricky walked through the door.

,,We're you going Troy?'' she asked, confused as to why he was leaving in the middle of rehearsals.

,,It's Ricky.'' he mumbled before exiting the room. I sighed, looked at Nini, who looked at her hands, grabbed my things and went after him.

,,Why are my leads leaving?'' Miss Jenn asked again.

Ricky was way faster than me.

I mean have you seen him? He's way taller than me!

However, when I saw Big Red outside talking to him, I decided to let them talk. My mind just told me to leave him alone to cool off, you know? So I decided to talk to Nini instead. On the way back, Carlos asked me where Ricky went and I told him that he went outside. Not so sure if that was a good idea because it would just put more pressure on Ricky. When I arrived at the rehearsal room again, Miss Jenn was talking to Nini and she still stood by the piano, looking at her hands.

,,Nini can I talk to you for a second?'' I asked and walked in her direction. Miss Jenn turned to look at me and left the room without another word. I think she knew that it was better to let teenagers sort their problems out alone sometimes.

,,I really don't want to talk to you right now. Ricky probably send you and I'm really not in the mood to-''

,,Ricky did not 'send' me. I'm here because I chose to talk to you. I know that you probably don't even want that because I basically stole the role you wanted to play but listen. Miss Jenn is working really hard on this musical and so is everyone else and I know it's hard being in a musical with your ex- and current boyfriend but please, for the sake of this musical, get along with Ricky.''

,,Y/N you don't even understand the situation. You never had an ex before!''

,,That may be true but I'm not on good terms with Ricky either! Do you see me causing a scene? No! So please Nini, at least consider, not ripping Ricky's face off.'' and with that, I left.

The first thing I did when I arrived at home was eat. I always ate when I was frustrated. Not my best habit. While waiting for my pizza to be done, I decided to post something on Instagram

y/ncaswell

Salt Lake City, Utah

liked by ejcaswell, dancingcarlos and 67 more

y/ncaswell you're looking at your Gabriella Montez baby 🤪

view all 23 comments

dancingcarlos and that's on actually auditioning for Taylor

yourgirlash u rocked that audition tho! So proud of u :))

I smiled at all the supporting comments and began eating my pizza, which I got out of the oven without burning my hands.

what? I'm proud of me. I always burn my hands while getting the pizza out of the oven. That's why Ej is normally doing it when... I want pizza.

After eating half of the pizza, leaving the other half for Ej, I went upstairs. I threw my bag into a corner and threw myself on bed. I sighed and grabbed my ukulele. The next thing I knew was that I started playing some chords that popped into my head.

I was hangin' with you and then I realized

I didn't think it was true, I was surprised

When I found out I've fallen for you

I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you

I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you

If I told you just how I felt

But I can't help it

I'm falling for you

And I can't quit it

'Cause I'm stuck on you

And it might be pathetic and you might be skeptical

But I just want to be with you

Please tell me, boy

Can you get a clue?

Or come through 'cause I just want to be with you

,,The song is for him right?''

I gasped in surprise and turned my head to the door to see EJ leaning against my door frame, eating the pizza I left for him.

,,When did you come home?'' I asked while placing the ukulele on the floor. He walked towards me and sat on the edge of my mattress.

,,5 minutes ago but stop trying to change the subject. The song is for Ricky right?''

I just nodded, looking at my hands.

,,It's cute.''

,,What?'' I asked and looked up.

,,The song. It's cute. I mean I don't really support the idea of you and him together, you know that but I like the song.''

,,Thank you and don't worry EJ, him and me? That won't happen. He's still in love with Nini.'' I responded with a sad smile.

,,I know this may sound really awful but maybe it's just not meant to be.''

Maybe he was right. Maybe the universe wanted to show me that it just wasn't meant to be. That I was chasing a dream. Ricky was so in love with Nini and to be honest I wasn't surprised. Nini was such a sweet and gorgeous girl, always have been. It's so easy to fall in love with her. No wonder my brother did.

I nodded and the only word that left my mouth was:,,Maybe.''

EJ flashed me a smile, patted my shoulder and left the bedroom. I sighed and my head hit the pillow.

The next day was pretty much uneventful.

Ok maybe that's a lie. I did catch Nini spying on Carlos and Ricky in the library. That's a good thing right?

When I opened the door to the auditorium, everything was silent. But as soon as the door closed and I leaned my back on the wall, someone started playing the piano. The curiosity got the best of me and I walked up the stage to see who was playing the wonderful melody. I was quite surprised to discover Ashlyn sitting in front of the piano, pressing the keys softly.

,,Oh hi.'' was the first thing she said when she noticed my presence.

,,Hi. I didn't know anyone was in here.'' I answered looking at my cousin, who took her hands off the piano keys.

,,I can be gone in like 7 seconds. Six if I don't zip my bag.'' She replied as she started to throw her things into her bag.

,,No, Ash. Don't go. What was that?''

,,What was what?'' she asked and stopped packing her things.

,,The song you were just playing.''

,,Oh that. Miss Jenn asked me to compose a song for my character. It's probably way too much.'' she explained and grabbed the notes out of her bag again. I just nodded and listen to her ramble. I didn't really know why she was so nervous.

,,Why don't you play me some more of your song?'' I asked and sat down beside her. Ashlyn nodded and started playing the same melody I heard when the door closed.

,,Seems like a part of me will always have to lose.'' She began, her eyes watching her fingers which were pressing down the piano keys.

,,Every single time I have to choose

Swore that it felt right, but was I wrong?

Is this where I'm supposed to be at all?

I don't have the answers, not today

It's like nothing makes the questions go away

What I'd give to see If the grass was greener

On the other side

Of all I've had and lost

Would it be enough

Or would I still be wondering?'' she sang, her eyes still trained on the piano.

,,If I could go back and change the past

Be a little braver than I had

And bet against the odds

Would I still be lost?

Even if I woke up in my dreams

Would there still be something I'm missing?

If I had everything Would it mean anything?''

I looked at her in awe. I never really heard Ashlyn sing like that before and she had so much talent. She turned her gaze to me for a second, implying to sing with her. I smiled and turned my attention to the little sheet of paper in front of me.

,,Maybe I should turn around and take the other road

Or maybe I'm just looking for what I already know.'' we sang together, smiling after realizing that we hit every note in perfect harmony.

,,I'm just wondering...

It feels like I might have broke the best thing that I had.'' I sang alone and at that exact moment, Ricky slowly walked in. We didn't notice though. We were to caught up in our own little moment.

,,I said too much to ever take it back

I'm scared I'll never find something as good

And would I even know it if I could?'' I vocalized the verse Ashlyn wrote so flawlessly.

,,If I could go back and change the past

Be a little braver than I had

And bet against the odds

Would I still be lost?

Even if I woke up in my dreams

Would there still be something I'm missing

If I had everything

Would it mean anything.'' we both sang again.

,,To me?'' I finished and smiled. My smile fell as soon as I saw Ricky standing in the room.

,,Uh...We're back.'' he stuttered and looked at us with semi-wide eyes.

,,What?'' I asked quietly.

,,Downstairs.'' the curly-haired boy answered and shook his head slightly which made his curls bounce a little.

,,Miss Jenn wants to see everyone in the bomb shelter.'' he finished and left without saying another word. I looked at Ashlyn and she just shrugged before she got up and packed her things. Me being the incredible cousin I am, I waited for her.

When we arrived downstairs the whole theater group was building a small circle around the blonde drama teacher who had a huge carton in front of her.

,,Here it is, people.'' Miss Jenn breathed out, holding a small device in her hands.

,,Is that a garage-door opener?'' Seb asked as he looked at the small object in front of him.

,,No, Seb. This is Gabriella's Phone. From the film.''

A few students gasped.

,,I plan on creating a time-capsule display in our lobby. If they can have 40 sports-ball trophies, we deserve a little movie museum.'' the teacher explained, holding up the phone so everyone could see.

,,Okay, people, enough dazzle. Fetch your scripts please. Places for the top of the ski lodge!''

[404-potato]

I’m going to share something because I really need to get this off my chest. Please feel free to ignore this - 

... I never really talked about it with anyone because I don’t think I really had it in me to fully acknowledge it even. “Embarrassed” is the best way to describe why quite honestly... as much as I hate to admit it

This... is how I ended up hating a series I loved. And the ship/fandom still makes me cringe because of a weirdly “traumatizing” (? maybe? not sure - i hate using that word/throwing it around;;;) incidents that wasn’t really even about the fandom directly at all?  

tw: relationship mess? 

So before IronStrange, how I used to deal with liking series was through cosplaying. There was a good base for it where I lived and good chunk of my friends cosplay too or at least familiar with the community.

I got into this particular series (that I won’t name here) because a friend (who I eventually got involved in a relationship with) was REALLY into it. It was great at first. I loved the series, it was fun, we cosplayed a pair she shipped hard at the time and at some point I liked it too (I think she’s still a bit obsessed with that pairing actually). 

Basically... she got obsessive. 

It started with the little things like... very...uh... predictable... she didn’t want me to cosplay with other people. She didn’t want me to cosplay with anyone else for this particular pairing. Wanted me to prioritize her during cons... sort of made it impossible for me to be flexible to make plans with any other people. When confronted eventually (the “hey so you know I only have so much time I can give to this hobby- if I make all these plans with you I don’t have time for other friends. We can still do things together but I want to spend time with other people too”)... she made it seem like she would give me space but when time came it was always “I’m not saying you can’t go hang out with your friends but you promised this.” “I asked you first.” ... which by promise btw was her mentioning it some months ago by passing. There were other little things here and there in the con/cos world like if any other friend wanted to put together a cosplay group and asked me she got upset I didn’t ask her to join? Her reasoning was that “well I always ask you so why don’t you.” which seemed like demanding I feel the same way about her as she did for me. ... I know... sounds terrible of me & maybe I should be more sympathetic but... you can’t... demand someone to return how you feel about them or get upset when they don’t? (by the way this was way before we dated even - she also repeated denied she had any sort of feelings for me)

And I honestly didn’t recognize it at first or thought it wasn’t a big deal. I had lot of incident in the past where friends, people I dated, etc. made some... perhaps unjustified demands and I did my best to accommodate if I was willing or situation allowed it. I truly, maybe arrogantly, believed I could fully take care of myself because i always had been that one person who could take care of themselves. ... and there was no possible way anyone could ever “take advantage of me” so to say? in any way. 

Then eventually we started dating. It was casual, lets see where it goes at first. ...then at some point we were in a relationship? ... quite frankly I don’t even remember how fully that came about. (I was not exactly in the best mental state that year due multiple disasters that was going on in my personal life - terrible timing because i let a lot of “red flags” go since I was so tired to fight). 

She wanted me to stop talking to certain friends. One was a friend who we went on couple dates (and it didn’t work out, & by then this friend was dating someone else). But she still didn’t want me be friends with this person. 

...And for those who think you shouldn’t be friends with your exes or not talk to them at all for some reason? F u. Yes it is fully possible to be friends with your ex if you both are at a good place etc. Esp if these people were not even exes per se it was like people you went on a date or two with that you both realized after “hey yea we’re friends not anything more”. 

Little by little I was talking to less and less people, interacted with less and less friends. I stopped cosplaying completely just so I didn’t have to deal with her getting upset at me. I didn’t have the energy. It felt like if I go anywhere I had to invite her. If I made any plans I should invite her. After a while I was so miserable to the point we had huge fights. I literally left the apartment to get away because she wasn’t listening to anything I was saying and all her rebuttal to everything was along the lines of “It’s because i like you so much” etc. 

Yea this whole “being loved” thing to the point they want to spend so much time with you at all times may sound sweet in theory ...but for someone who is an only child (with no distant relatives in the same country), who is used to be left alone to live my life with very minimal supervision since 5 years old, needs a lot of time to myself naturally... it’s a nightmare. But if I said I wanted to be alone or need time to myself suggest I’ll go to my parent’s (not my first choice but ya know... at this point i figured she’ll flip if I said any friend’s)... she’ll try to angrily (very recklessly) drive off saying she’ll sleep at her work parking lot?? or I came back after one of these fights and she had all these scratches because apparently she tried to take a bath with wine and she fell?? ... I feel like I couldn’t even leave. ...typing this now, it’s kinda occurring to me I felt very stuck. She says I can go, I can do things, but... i mean... I can’t?? because then she’ll go off and do something like this. That time she was physically hurt, I know I should feel bad but I honestly couldn’t feel bad. I felt suffocated. I was angry. I felt like she was doing this as some sort of attention seeking... thing. 

Oh and lets not forget comments here and there about how I should let her know what i’m doing all the time, all the change of plans. Example: barely one month after I started at a new job, it was the holiday party. I did let her know I’ll be trying to come home early but please eat without me/don’t wait up. Well as I was trying to leave, I got caught in conversation by my VP and then my CEO... i couldn’t just up and leave at that point?? And I couldn’t answer the 30+ calls I got from her. ...She was pissed. Saying how they waited for me to eat, how I said I’ll be home early, etc. I tried to explain what happened. It’s a holiday party, its loud. I can’t keep looking at my phone when i’m talking to my CEO. I did say i’ll try but shit happens and I can’t update her all the time 24/7...She said she got it but next day would still throw these passive aggressive remarks. Couple of her friends came to visit from out of town, we were supposed to spend the day together with them. I was obviously tired because of the holiday party still and I muttered like “damn i’m tired” by passing... her automatic reaction was “well you shouldn’t have stayed out then.” because in her words, during the argument that followed, we made plans to spend time with her friends so I should have prioritized it at all cost even over the job that I need. Nothing said I couldn’t just leave and come home early, I didn’t have to go in the first place. ...oh idk there is something called work politics??? esp when you are a minority girl working at 80~90%+ white male company. 

Then it all boiled up to a particular bad fight where I said I need her to compromise because I’m ready to lose it... I explained so many things from above that was genuinely becoming so unhealthy for me...  How she said she’ll be better in the past but she continued on, etc. 

...lol... and the first thing she says to that is how she still doesn’t want me to cosplay with other people. I literally had a moment of that’s what’s so important to you??? SERIOUSLY? fuck this i’m not cosplaying ever again. period. Because at that point... because of the whole incident... or many incidents, I had such negative feeling towards the hobby I didn’t want to do it anyways... let alone this pairing she really liked... or the series etc.  god there was... so many more... like the time we went to a bar to have fun, she over drank even when I told her multiple times hey maybe you should slow down... She basically did the whole “drinking excess as an excuse to say what she wants after” “i’m drunk so I’m saying this” thing. So in a very public place, the bar was crowded, there were people all around us, she yelled VERY loudly about how I didn’t seem to want to have sex with her anymore. When I asked her to keep quiet, please can we talk about this elsewhere... she KEPT GOING- LOUDLY YELLING. Hysterically crying. Honestly... considering everything going on... yea I didn’t want to. At some point it did occur to me I didn’t want to have sex at all (and that was whole another level of problem considering I’ve always been very sexual person...) I mean I would have been totally willing to have a serious conversation about this but NOT AT A PUBLIC PLACE WITH STRANGERS ALL AROUND??? I was mortified. (this is also why I stopped going to nice bars... i used to enjoy them. After my early 20s, I didn’t drink to get drunk but I loved visiting creative bars and having a nice drink or two... well... not anymore lol)  Again, these are not even 50% of all that happened with this person. .... honestly this relationship caused me so much issues personally I haven’t even begin to solve. It’s actually to the point I’m considering therapy. 

But yea... sure it may not be the biggest of things but sometimes I’m very resentful I can’t enjoy the series I used to enjoy because I just automatically have VERY negative emotions about it. Same thing with cosplay, a hobby I used to be very happily involved in to relieve stress. I now have this almost... fight or flight feeling when they are mentioned, i freeze... it sometimes feels like something is pressing down on your lungs making it impossible to breath.  

...And this is also why... I started tumblr and ended up seeking company of online people who doesn’t really know me because... yea now I’m avoiding my friends at this point or mutuals with this person since... well, everyone thinks she’s a very nice person, very good for me... because on surface level, yea she does really seem like she likes me, gets me all these nice gifts etc. They still comment from time to time about how I should be doing better. Treat her better. Because if someone screws up in a relationship, given my history and personality, its probably my doing. ...Okay. any normal situation, yea I would say that’s probably true but this? this was not... yea.

[scribblescrabblebabble]

FMA Gift Exchange 2019!

Title: Snow Day

Rating: T+

Relationships: Roy Mustang/ Edward Elric; Trisha Elric/ Van Hohenheim

Cross- Posted on AO3 (link)

This is my (kinda late :/ ) gift to @melissamelody for the @fmagiftexchange on Tumblr. They said that anything would do, and I was inspired to do a cute fluffy snow thing because I have never gotten a lot of snow over the holidays due to where I live, and I'm finally about to get some up at my college, so it has been on my mind a lot! I hope you enjoy!

------------------------------------

It took Ed several loud thunks to realize he had been awoken by snowballs. On his window. Flicking his gaze to the alarm clock a foot from his face, Ed rolled his eyes and nestled deeper into his pillow.

          ‘8:00 am! What kind of cruel fuckery is this?’

The thuds continued for far too long, hitting square in his window just when he thought the tirade over. After about the millionth thud, a new sound disgraced Ed’s sleepy daze: the loud buzz of his phone on the mattress by his ear. With an indignant grunt, he rolled his face to the edge of the pillow (out of the nice, warm divot his head had made through the night) to glance at the screen.

           ‘Message from Roy <3 : Get up! Hands r numb from snowballs :( ‘

“Of fucking course,” Ed grumbled, pulling himself blankets and all from bed and over to the window that stood mockingly across the room from him. He pushed the window open as far as it would go, leaning out into the frigid winter air cocooned into his comforter indignantly.

Below him stood his stupid neighbor-boyfriend, covered to the hat in flakes of snow and a truly ridiculous number of floral coats and scarves. Around him spots of frozen grass were visible where the teen had scooped up snow to form his projectile annoyances. He smiled radiantly up at Ed’s scowl, “Morning! Look, it’s snowing!”

Ed rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I can tell, dumbass Southerner. You look like you’ve been rolling around in that shit for hours.”

In response, Roy just shrugged, still grinning like an idiot, “And you look like a quilted burrito.”

“…Paisley marshmallow.”

“Grumpy caterpillar.”

“Bastard.”

“Killjoy—Oh, good morning Mrs. Elric!” Sure enough, Ed turned to where Roy looked, spotting his mom’s head poking out from the front corner of his house.

“I thought I heard something! What’re you doing out here Roy?” Trisha asked.

“Serenading your son, ma’am.”

Ed snorted, “Yeah, with projectile snow. Mom, tell him to stop being shitty and let me sleep.” Trisha looked up, noticing Ed’s disgruntled form. She laughed, “Oh my, I see I’ve interrupted! Roy, dear, why don’t you come inside and have some coffee? You look near frozen.”

Ed let out a betrayed shout following Roy’s polite ‘yes ma’am’, “You’re supposed to be on my side Mom!”

Trisha scoffed, “And pass up the chance pick on you? Oh, please, I’m your mother! Get dressed, it’s a beautiful day to be up early.”

“Ugh, fine.” The blonde stuck his tongue out at Roy’s smirk before pulling his head from outside, relishing in the warmth of his room tingling against his cold cheeks.

He hefted the window closed, letting his comforter fall to the wayside in the process. After struggling into a less-rumpled sweater and jeans, Ed gave his invitingly unmade on last, wistful look before leaving his room to face whatever bad joke he could hear Roy politely laughing at downstairs. In the kitchen, Ed found his boyfriend (shed of his comical layers of warmth) receiving a mug of coffee from a scrub-clad Trisha at the table, his similarly-clothed dad tapping away on his phone by the counter where it was plugged in.

“Work day?” Ed asked, making Hohenheim look up. “We were called in a minute ago. Apparently, the snow caught a lot of people by surprise and the ER’s packed.”

“And because a ton of people are injured, you decided to wear matching cat scrubs?” The blonde teen took the coffee proffered to him by his mom and sat by Roy, who kicked his foot lightly in greeting. He kicked back.

“It couldn’t have been a nice coincidence?” Trisha asked innocently.

“Absolutely not.” Ed deadpanned, sipping the coffee and finding it pleasantly over-sweetened. He turned to Roy, whom he found gazing out the window at the flake-coated tree in the (other) neighbor’s lawn. The former elbowed the arm not holding a mug of coffee and asked, “What haven’t you done yet in the snow? Since I just so happen to be up this early, we might as well do something.”

The dark-haired teen was silent for a moment, sipping thoughtfully at his drink, “I’ve really only been in my yard today. Maybe we should walk around.”

Trisha interjected before Ed could comment, “That’s a lovely idea! The park always looks beautiful in this weather. Just be careful; as much as I love spending time with you, Ed, I don’t want you making any unexpected visits to us at work today. You wither, Roy, your aunt would have a fit.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Kissass.”

“It’s my Southern hospitality, Ed.”

The aforementioned scoffed, “You’ve been out of there for like a year and a half, the hospitality shoulda worn off by now.”

Roy faked an affronted look, “A gentleman never loses his hospitality!”

“A gentleman who throws snow at his boyfriend to wake him up at 8 am?”

“Yep!”

Ed let out a small laugh, “You’re hopeless. C’mon, it’ll take half an hour just to put all of your coats back on- best go ahead and get started.”

“I like being warm. ‘S not my fault Riza stole my good coat to walk Hayate.”

“You aren’t going to have breakfast?” Hohenheim asked Ed as he grabbed his keys and herded his giggly wife out the door.

“I’ll eat later.” Ed waved his parents off as they closed the door, leaving the young couple sitting with their coffees at the small kitchen table. The blonde turned to the other, “My family’s way too used to you, you know that?”

“I prefer to think they’re just the right amount used to me,” he stood, walking to his coat-pile, “Besides, I could say the same for you and Aunt Chris.

Ed huffed, moving beside Roy and taking his thick red coat from its hook, “That’s different- Miss Chris’s been out neighbor forever. My folks’ve only known you for like a year. You’re just way too charming for a seventeen-year-old.”

“Seventeen and a half, thanks. And you’re too grumpy for a sixteen-and-three-quarters-year-old. Ready?” He had just finished putting his final scarf (purple with blue roses) on as Ed yanked some gloves on and opened the front door.

The blonde was still cringing from the blast of cold air as Roy sped out into the blanketed lawn. He gained his bearings and joined, standing with his boyfriend in the whiteness.

“It’s so peaceful.” The older teen commented, looking into the cloudy sky serenely.

Ed hummed his agreement, crunching over to the shoveled-off sidewalk, “Let’s go,” he said with a small smile.

Side by side, the two strolled in peaceful silence, Roy taking in the new scenery and Ed silently enjoying his boyfriend’s company. The park sat two blocks from their houses, and since the neighborhood did not boast of a huge population of children, the mid-morning snow sat untouched on the park’s grass and benches.

“Your mom was right, Ed, it really is beautiful here. Look at the trees!” Roy exclaimed, grabbing Ed’s gloved hand in his own and dragging him further into the space. They ended up under one of said trees, the branches little black outlines against the piles of snow atop them. Both were content to be close to one another, looking around at the scenery for a time.

The moment, of course, was not destined to last, as just then two particularly large snowballs collided with their faces quite spectacularly. Both teens startled back, stuttering and wiping the freezing material off of their faces. Ed whipped his face to the tree’s large trunk, behind which he could hear uproarious laughter and two excited dogs’ barking.

Just as Roy shouted an indignant, “Riza!”, Ed yelled, “Fuck off Winry! You too Al!” Three giggling blonde heads popped out from around the tree, Den and Hayate yipping at their heels.

Quicker to react than Ed, Roy responded to the attack with a chunk of snow to Riza’s face. She was still in shock, then grinned and made to form a new ball. They scattered, laughing, and the wintry war was on.

~End~