#its not that hard to understand but sure blame others blame everyone except the ones killing us let me know how that works out for you

[imperiuswrecked]

"We should call out Egypt & Jordan for not accepting Palestinian Refugees"

Baby girl you can't even call out genocide that's happening live on your screens in full color. Sit down.

[omkookie]

🩷 : Oh, sweet. I haven't really thought much about Yandere Licht yet (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

⌈ ⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⌉ Yandere themes, imprisonment. 15+ // F!MC.

His depravity is quite striking. He has a twisted moral compass where he's stuck in a debasement, Which will never fail to leave anyone dumbfounded. Licht's way of thinking is quite simple, simple for anyone who is crazy to understand.

Yandere Licht doesn’t have a normal sense of right or wrong. He only knows what his right is, and what his wrongs are. Screw whatever people may find immoral, if he deems it to be good, then it’s good.

Licht slowly manipulates his beloved MC into loving him. He shares his sad backstory with her, and then begins to monopolise her when she feels sad for him. He starts by taking up all of her free time and isolating her from everyone else. Now that she knows how he’s been abused and how hurt he is, who is she to abandon him or push him away? She’s too kind to do anything like that.

Slowly, Licht etches himself into her everyday life so that she doesn’t pick up on what he’s doing. When he finally has her fully isolated from others, he kidnaps her and keeps her inside of a mansion in his territory. The mansion is heavily guarded, She can’t escape if he has his men patrolling the grounds at all times, and she can’t leave him if he’s by her side 24/7.

Licht constantly guilt trips her by gaslighting and then blaming her for certain things. She wants to leave? Does she plan to abandon him or point a sword at him like his mother did? How could she do that when all he ever did was try his best for her. He just wants what’s best for her, and he tries so, so hard to please her… He’s not taking her freedom away, He’s protecting her. She confessed she loves him, so he’s just making sure that she’s safe… He’s a prince, Just by loving him she’s in danger. What if somebody tries targeting her? Doesn’t she know what happened to all of the women who got involved with Rodolite's royal family?

He’ll once again recall what happened to his mother for her.

His darling feels like she’s walking with shackles on because of how he’s constantly glued to her side and so obsessive.

Licht doesn’t hesitate to hurt others, He manipulates and twists things so that he always gets what he wants. He uses his title as a prince, and almost no one in Rhodolite does anything to rescue MC because they’re all under the impression that she’s in love with him, and has decided to spend her life with him. No one knows what Licht is really like, he’s far too sly and good at tricking people. The only one who now knows the real Licht is MC… But being isolated from everyone except him takes its mental strain on her, and she nearly loses her mind when he locks her away as punishment and starts ignoring her.

But, no matter how unstable MC may get because of her broken down psyche, he’ll never let her kill herself so she better not get any wild ideas. He loves her, so she’ll stay with him forever.

There's a loyal dog still waiting for an opportunity to speak to MC, That's becoming more suspicious of Licht each day he doesn't... So there's still hope for her to one day escape. if only she can get a single note to that dog.

[posebean]

Another thing about antagonists in general is that they aren't always inherently bad! They're just in opposition of the protagonist! (Who isn't always good either!!) Enstars is rlly fun bcs it switches those roles around between characters and reducing a character to Just that story role is a rlly reductive way to look at the material

anon can i have your hand in marriage /j

this gets a little long... read more

YEAH! its all a matter of perspective; people tend to focus on only one perspective and forget that things aren't just as simple as this person evil this person good (in the case of enstars)

sorry everything is abt crazyb i only know bee stuff by heart 🥹butttt

honestly any story with crazy:B involved with other units (main story, night club, SS Sudden death) shows this. theyre the unit that goes against the system, that breaks the seemingly perfect but actually fucked up system. they do things wild and their own way, and are portrayed initially negatively (we are given other persoectives to see this through! like every other unit, 2wink, knights etc. so it makes sense that people initially go. yeah. these people are bad. )

but then we get it from their perspective. we learn that theres reason behind this madness, behind all the wild and antagonistic acts that they do. we learn that they're so, so human. they have their own problems, have ideals that they're getting realized in their way, not going with the flow. nothing is black and white, sure, sometimes they may do some things that people don't agree with, but ultimately there's always reason behind that;

sorry to make this about him but i've gotta. all the posts that limit rinne to just a gambling addict alcoholic with no respect for anything that would be awful just to be awful make me want to hit stuff with a rock. i think theres this one convo in main story that basically explains it so well, that one where niki and mayoi are talking. the one where niki says yeah? rinne-kun is awful and stuff at times but he's human, just like me and you. that line hit me so hard you dont understand

im like. convinced people that label rinne as only evil and scum like. difnt read mainstory 5 at all. a huge part of that mainstory was showing things from crazy:b's perspective, showing that rinne was a planner, that he planned for everything and now was shouldering all of it, ALL OF THE BLAME, saying that his unitmates had no part of it and was literally willing to LEAVE, leave behind his dream, leave behind everything so that his unitmates and hiiro and everyone else could live happily. IF YOU CAN READ THROUGH ALL OF THAT, READ THROUGH WINNER AND HAPPY END AND SEE LITERALLY HOW BROKEN RINNE IS ABOUT LEAVING BUT HES STILL DOING IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE HE LOVES EVERYONE!! BUT YOU STILL HAVE THE GALL TO SIMPLIFY HIM TO HAHA GAMBLER ALCOHOLIC MAN WHO WOULD STEAL MY WALLET AND BURN MY HOUSE DOWN i will hit you with a rock 💥🥰

it is okay to not like a character!!! it is not okay to limit them simply to aspects you find on a shallow level. better to not think about that character than at all. i am taking rinne amagi swaddling him in warm blankets and giving him hot cocoa i will defend his characterization with my god damn LIFE

sorry anon u didnt ask for this but yeah basically its all a matter of perspective and prople need to learn to respect that all of the characters at the end of the day are human and have their own nuances. be like me. dont have strong negative feelings except sopping wet /pos

[actuallyitsstar]

bradley rooster bradshaw & 22, 12, 21? <3

✨ send me a number and a character! ✨

HENLO USER MARCHRAINDROPS!!!! ily and im so sorry for how long this took aaaaaaaaaaa but pls take my humble offering, and i hope that u enjoy my attempt at doing this ask justice lol <3 <3

(p.s. i did answer one of these for bradley here already, so click for another and more lighthearted headcanon lol)

22. something you like and dislike in reading for this character?

something that rly matters to me when it comes to bradley is, i guess for lack of a better word, his attitude. bradley has had, admittedly, his share of traumatizing experiences in life, and he was raised on eggshells and rose-petals, walking under the shadow of a grief too heavy for him to bear alone, watching the adults he knew and trusted be crushed slowly beneath it instead. he was a bright and happy child whose innocence was slowly stolen, piece by piece, building a sardonic and cynical adult. bradley was soft, and he still absolutely c an be, in the right setting and with the right people. but he's still a grown man, at least thirty-four-ish, who's been hardened by loss after loss after betrayal, who has gone through war and come home again. he can be sarcastic and self centered, closed-minded and demanding, vindictive and rageful. he's brash and quick to speak, fierce in spirit but measured, too; aware of the pitfalls behind life's every corner and terrified of stepping on another; this time, completely alone. he hesitates and he meets the consequences of his indecision, and he takes that blame out on others.

i guess i like to see bradley's roughest edges acknowledged. he has been hurt, and he will hurt other people. he's not exactly a white knight of most situations (except for when he is- sacrificing himself for phoenix in training comes to mind; it is all about nuance isn't it?). i think it's easy to paint those kinds of flaws out of the picture, and i can understand why we might want to- because after all, no one wants to think about their favorite character being the "bad guy" in a situation. but everyone is, sometimes.

i guess what i don't like is seeing bradley treated with kidd gloves. realistically, bradley was spoiled as a kid, and why wouldn't he have been? the hope of a family grieving the loss of its pillar (goose), and that's a lot of weight for a little kid to carry. they'd doted on him, and put all their efforts into giving him the happiest childhood they could muster in the face of that loss, and maybe they were quick to give in to demands- maybe they were quick to take the situations upsetting young bradley away from him instead of teaching him how to cope with them. i'm not sure if, for all of their love and devotion, the adults in bradley's life would have known how to teach him to cope with a situation healthfully, anyway.

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

bradley has goose's old cross necklace, and it's one of his most prized possessions.

when bradley was little, he was 100% a mama's boy. after all, for all that mav was there, which was always as much as he could be but no more than the tight grip of the navy on his collar would allow- it was just bradley and carole against the world, together, for most of it. he talked to his mom about everything, trusted her with everything, and he took her illness so incredibly hard. obviously- that's his mom, after all- but even more than he showed, at the time. he'd tried to be strong, for his mom and for mav and because he's not sure he remembers anymore, but he thinks it's what his dad would have wanted, too; for him to take care of mom. he tries, but doesn't end up remembering how to take care of himself at the same time.

the wedge that separates bradley from the world and everything good in it is the same one that splits carole off from her family and leaves them alone without her. as her illness worsens, bradley becomes more and more sullen and withdrawn and angry, with the world and the lot handed to him. he savors each moment he has left with her but grows to dread hospital visiting hours, too, because it gets harder and harder to remember her as she was with each hour he spends watching her waste away. the breaking point is when he's thirteen years old, and they know carole has a few months more, at best. bradley isn't supposed to know yet- but he isn't stupid. he can overhear parts of a hushed phone call, and see the worry lines around uncle mav's eyes when he tries to offer reassurances that bradley doesn't believe in anymore.

she calls him in for visiting hours alone, telling uncle ice to take uncle mav home and make him take a shower and go to bed. mav protests profusely, but a look of understanding passes between ice and carole over the heads of everyone else in the room, and everyone but bradley is subsequently herded out. bradley settles himself on the edge of her bed, feeling awkward with the presence of the dreaded ticking time between them. despite her gauntness and exhaustion, though, she offers him her brightest smile. i have something to give you, baby, she tells him, and then it's dangling from her fingers before he has time to realize it fully- a silver cross necklace. his dad's necklace.

i've was meanin' to give this to you, when you're all grown up, she says quietly, and bradley swallows hard, drawing in a shaky inhale. but i just couldn't wait any longer. your daddy would be so proud of you, honey. and bradley knows it means she loves him and that daddy does too, but he also knows it means that his mom is saying goodbye. when uncle mav sees him wearing it later that evening, his small hand tightened around the metal so firmly that it digs into his skin, his uncle's face blanches, but mav doesn't say a word about it. bradley doesn't either. when everything falls apart between them much later, bradley tries to assign meaning that isn't there, telling himself that maybe mav had wanted that necklace to keep selfishly to himself, or that maybe mav hadn't thought he'd deserved it. it's not until much, much later that he manages to reason out the much simpler truth of the moment; of the guilt and the exhaustion and the realization that his all-but-sister knew she didn't have much longer if she'd finally passed the necklace down.

during the long years of his twenties and early thirties, bradley clings to the necklace, convinced it holds the parts of his past that he's missing, the feeling of belonging he's craved and cannot seem to find. the weight of it against his breastbone, beneath his uniforms, is half-comfort and half-terror. he doesn't explain it to anyone, not even to phoenix. i didn't know you were spiritual, she tells him upon catching a glimpse of it in the gym. bradley is hasty to shove it back inside his shirt collar. i'm not, he growls back, and that's that. she doesn't ask again. he doesn't volunteer. just like the look mav had worn upon seeing the necklace, it isn't until much, much later that bradley figures out what he'd been missing, after the mission and after the reconciling and after everything- til he figures out that maybe the necklace means something to him because it had meant something to mom and to dad and to mav, and that maybe he doesn't have to drag the ghosts and spirit of all three of those people into the cockpit with him each time he goes up into the air. maybe knowing they had loved him all along is enough. he tells himself that this is what the cool metal against his skin reminds him of, now, and for the most part, he finds that he can learn to believe it.

21: something you like and dislike in writing for this character?

i think it's sort of rare to be in a fandom where you have this primary character and you know so much about the things that built that character. i mean, not the most rare- obviously there's a lot of stories and franchises out there that focus on lineage and talk about long-spanning over-arcing stories. but to get to know carole and to get to know goose and to get to know mav and the other flyboys too; depending on your opinion of the closeness of the group after the first movie (i guess we all know MY found-family-obsessed-ass's opinion on that lol <3) is a gift that builds a picture of bradley, and unpacking it and piecing it together is one of my favorite privileges in writing him! feeling like i know the people who shaped bradley means i feel like i know bradley so much more, too. there's so much focus, especially in tgm, on history and mirroring and repetition and the weight of years and the passage of time, and of course there needs to be, for a sequel made so long after the original- because it is all built on the power of nostalgia- but it also says something about the construction of a character like bradley, doesn't it?

that being said, i do spend a lot of time trying to strike the balance, because i think there can be too much mirroring and a little too much drawing from influence. the double edged sword is allowing bradley to be a separate and independent person who is shaped by and not defined by those things. i think it's very easy (or at least for my sentimental ass it is lol) to get a little TOO wrapped up in the ~nostalgia~ and the trying to weave a 30+ year narrative into one character's image, and i do have to remind myself to avoid letting that walk all over the actual characters i am actually presently writing.

@marchraindrops AHHHHHHHHHH again i am so so sorry this took so long but i thank u so so much for thinking of me and sending the lovely ask, i had a lot of fun answering ;) and i am always thrilled to type my silly little answers lol. i promise to always answer even if it takes like.... more than a hot minute lol <3 TY AND ILY!!!! <3<3<3

[marvelights625]

we need better female representation

this is for all those people who i thought would feel the same. i just want to discuss the two dominating female characters in the multiverse saga: wanda and sylvie. okay, so first of all, this is clear of the statements like ‘she’s badass’ or ‘she’s hot.’ i could just go look at the actress if that’s what i wanted in the character.

wanda: i understand that many people like her and that i might get hate, but it’s just an opinion. i think that if scarlet witch was meant to be a villain, then why try to justify her actions? it was just cheap writing to drive a powerful character to become a murderer because she lost her family. and then try and make us empathise with her. what she had gone through was horrible, but instead of adding depth to her (beautiful) character over time, they ruined her whole arc. she knew what she was doing in westview. even if it’s hard to let go, there is no excuse to enslaving and torturing people. a lot of male characters have done that too. but they have faced the consequences. wanda just escaped and started reading the darkhold, which became another excuse for her bad actions. god i was so disappointed. i was really excited to see a significantly powerful character who dominates, who also happens to be a strong female character. but it was so easy to make her an angry vengeful person and down pull other characters to make herself seem powerful right?

sylvie: her character straight up agitated me. at first i didn’t see why they added her to the show. i had no emotional connection with her from the past, and its kinda hard to focus on her when you actually want to see loki’s development. what was special about her wasn’t really a specialty. even if she didn’t want to rule, she was just vengeful and angry all the time. again, everything backed up by her tragic past. if you keep giving everyone the same back story, just exactly how many times should we sympathise with someone? i remember characters like natasha, who were self-made after embracing their flaws. i remember shuri, who was faced with a decision to save one nation or save both. i remember the wasp (hope) who actually cared about her family and her team mates. none of these characters went on blaming their (specifically male) counterparts and calling them annoying. sylvie didn’t even bother to take accountability for what she did. she didn’t regard loki’s emotions, and she couldn’t see past the fact that she was only thinking about what she believes. i don’t think that shows strength, that shows weakness.

it would be easy for any of you to say that ‘if it was a male we would have shrugged it off’. but marvel actually gave their male characters deeper arcs and more time to develop. they made them face consequences and didn’t make their stories all about their hardships. it’s also easy to say that ‘i understand why she did it because she suffered and we would have done the same’. it’s the wrong message coming from movies/tv shows that show good over bad. we need to motivate people to find strength in hard times. we need strong characters.

i honestly watch marvel for suspense and plot, because that’s what i’m into. and i love the content (except for 2022)

but,

i think one thing marvel needs to understand, is that they can’t just put some white woman, give her a sappy backstory, make her do ‘badass’ things, make sure she’s called ‘girlboss’ on twitter and call it a day. we don’t need mean, bitchy attitudes and damaging actions.

we need better female representation.

[sonneillonv]

I deserve a fucking medal for tonight.

Player has been constantly on their phone during game, ignores the map and then doesn't know what's happening when it's their turn, doesn't understand their spells or abilities, never uses their staff of healing to actually heal their party, and to top it all off, fireballed the fighter for shits and giggles (and also smashed several useful potions in the process). They then got back on their phone, told their partner what they'd done, and announced to the whole table their partner thought it was hilarious, so like... this was not an "Oops" situation.

The characters are trainees/squires for a knightly order, so the fighter sent a complaint to their training officer. Today I, the DM, got to pull that PC aside for a chat as the training officer.

IC: "So I'm concerned about these behaviors, and your teammates have expressed concern. I'd like to go over the code of conduct and make sure that you understand the expectations, and that you can ask me any questions you have, because if your teammates can't trust you it's hard for them to go into life or death situations with you."

Player proceeds to argue that they shouldn't have been able to cast that fireball into that space so it was really not their fault that I let it happen (bro, you said "I fireball the room").

Player tells me I'm always taking them too literally (like when they say "I fireball the room"? and then they roll damage dice? And then the fighter takes damage? Were we not supposed to take the 8d6 literally?).

Player tells me they never know what's supposed to be IC vs OOC and they're just playing around and joking (then you say, "nah, I don't really fireball the fighter I was just kidding". You don't roll damage dice.)

Player feels they're being targeted by me because see, this one time, they cast Speak with Dead and I (trope as old as time) got them to waste a question (because that never happens when PCs encounter oracles or get three wishes or come into possession of a monkey's paw and it definitely didn't LITERALLY HAPPEN IN THE D&D MOVIE WHEN THE GROUP CAST SPEAK WITH DEAD). Player has brought this up THREE TIMES since it happened. Everyone has explained the trope to them. They continue to use this as a reason why they are being grossly mistreated and misunderstood and I'm clearly just trying to entrap them into doing things that piss the party off.

(It's important to note that no one is pissed off about the wasted question. They're pissed off about other things which this player is doing voluntarily. Like fireballing a room with party members in it and shattering a potion of necrotic resistance in a dungeon full of wraiths.)

Player blamed me for giving them bad advice on how to play their cleric. (One of the PCs has a follower who is a giant rat. The giant rat doesn't do anything except run around rubbing Keogham's Ointment on fallen PCs with its little rat hands. The rat is a better healer than this player's full-classed cleric with a staff of healing. This is a skill issue.)

Y'all, I am still in a state of disbelief. But I kept my temper, I focused on constructive solutions and what could be done to improve things going forward, and we managed to get past it, despite how much I really wanted to give this player a piece of my mind.

Like... jesus christ. You fireball a teammate and get a very, VERY mild talk from your gentle and understanding training officer who does not yell at you or raise his voice, and this is your response???

[snowyycones]

Just had a little AU thought

What if in the Season 3 finale, the power of all the golden weapons was so powerful, it splintered Zane into pieces. Becoming trapped into this sort of limbo, stuck between existing and not existing. Everyone except those who witnessed the event can barely remember who Zane is.

His image begins to haunt the other ninja, especially in their dreams and in moments no one expects. There are time where only one person sees him or when multiple do.

This image is haunting and eerie, and is barely audible despite it speaking. All of them soon found themselves becoming lost and hurt, realizing Zane was completely broken. They soon decided they couldn't let it get to them, that they were just overwhelmed with grief.

The truth is that this image was Zane's split consciousness, trying to help them find his pieces, so he can return. He is stuck between random moments in time, trying to change everything, begging the people who cannot even understand him to bring him back.

Its a very hard thing for Zane to keep almost all of his mind together, which makes it even harder to communicate. However, since he is no longer physical, his consciousness can enter into the other's visiting them in their dreams which often turn into nightmares out of his control. Kai and Cole are the most shaken by them as they both blame themselves the most. Jay keeps trying to distract himself and Nya buries in work. Lloyd is still fairly young at this point and is just distraught and confused. Wu and Garmadon know there is something deeper under the surface.

I'm sure this story would eventually have a good ending, and a season dedicated to it. However a well written ending has not been conjured up yet so for now you get this heart breaking concept!

[archive2394934]

Hey, not trying to be rude, I just genuinely don't understand how Henry was abused by his family?

Hey, its no problem! I can completely understand people not seeing any evidence of abuse in Henry's upbringing because the fact is we did not SEE anyone in Henry's family being mean to him, but we also didn't see anyone in Henry's family interact with him at all.

Which is a little odd. We are shown scenes where Henry's father interacts with and comforts his mother. We're shown scenes where both Henry's mother and father interact with a comfort his sister. But we are never shown them interacting with Henry, much less in a fond way. The only thing we're given is that when Henry looked into his mother's mind he discovered that she hated him and she was planning to have him "sent away" to a "doctor" who would "fix him." Even if your child is a little weird, even if your child may do some not so nice things sometimes, its very unusual for a mother to outright hate her child and very rarely can that ever be the child's fault. It was Virginias "hate" of Henry and her desire to institutionalize him that broke Henry's heart after he discovered it and eventually sent him on a murderous rampage entirely in order to escape her plan for him. From the beginning we're kind of made aware that Henry was very isolated and a lot of my views on Henry possibly being abused or at the very least mistreated or neglected by his family come from his own words and my own intimidate understanding of being an improperly diagnosed kid on the autism spectrum which Henry is very heavily suggested to be. Henry says this when in an attempt to explain his actions to Eleven. I'll break it down piece by piece because a lot of people aren't as obsessive and autistic as me so I feel like a lot of what Henry said was either missed, forgotten or maybe ignored but:

Why do you cry for them, Eleven? After everything they did to you?

He's referencing how Eleven spent most of her time being bullied by many of the other subjects at worse and ignored/isolated by them at best. We saw obvious signs of this in Elevens memories. She's always on her own. Henry is the only one who offers her company, in fact. Eleven was compassionate, shy and a little bit uncoordinated. Her test-subject siblings did not have a lot of interest or like for her. Two describes her as stupid and clumsy, which is clearly supported by the other older children and at best completely uncontested by everyone else. (except for Henry, who basically tells him to shut up at a point :)) He's also referencing that directly before this incident a group of them with Two as the leader actively tried to kill/physically harm her and would surely attempt to do so again. Further, Henry has already said at this point that he relates to Eleven and sees his child self in her. He pretty much views them as the same, its a big part of Henry's annoyance and discomfort in seeing Eleven treated the way she was. He literally says the reasons for that are directly because she was bullied and isolated by others and they tended to look down on her, just like him. So we essentially we have Henry trying VERY HARD to tell us that he was bullied and made fun of by his peers.

Hmm? You think you need them, but you don't. You don't. Oh, but I know you're just scared. I was scared once too. I know what it's like to be different. To be alone in this world.

This is another point where Henry admits he was just a scared child once too. Which he was. He felt like he was alone in the world because he was different and he only had expereinces to validate those thoughts. It doesn't make sense that Henry would feel that way if he had a loving, supportive family and if his life expereinces didn't have significant moments of isolation, shame and blame.

Like you, I didn't fit in with the other children. Something was wrong with me. All the teachers and the doctors said I was… "Broken," they said. 

I think Herny's mood and behaviors should be taken into account as he explains this too. He isn't cold, or emotionless, or enjoying himself. He is somber and repressed, this is clearly something that he feels sad about, not something he's gloating about or conquering up to manipulate her.

I've also mentioned it SO MANY TIMES before but Henry explaining that DOCTORS AND TEACHERS were the ones responsible for labeling him as "BROKEN" is extremely important and couldn't make his autistic / neurodivergent coding more obvious. (If the fact that he related himself so intensely to Eleven, another character we widely acknowledge and accept is extremely autistic coded isn't cutting it.)

There is no reason a teacher is going to decide something like this about a child unless the child was having trouble keeping up and preforming adequately in the classroom. What causes children to struggle in normal class environments? Usually being neurodivergent, especially throughout the periods in history where neurodivergence was NOT recognized and teachers instead of giving neurodivergent children extra support and care would frequently punish and humiliate them, thinking that it would inspire and "teach" them to be better and work harder, pushing them to 'rise' to the 'level' of deemed 'normal functionality' as their peers.

Because in the minds of people in this time, children who struggled this way were just lazy and disobedient. It was worse if you were a child who excelled in some areas and failed in others, or if you were a child who appeared to be intelligent and articulate normally, as I believe was the case for Henry and was the case with me.

For example, when I was a kid I could read entire books at two years old. I never had a baby talk phase. (Sometimes I would mispronounce words as a baby but I never struggled to talk.) I was described as a kid who could "talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles." I was considered to have above average intelligence and people had very high expectations for me as a result.

However... Despite this when I got to school I struggled so badly. School was actually what wrecked me. I could read! I could talk! I was artistic and energetic, but I struggled to write and spell. I was easily distracted. I preferred to daydream, LARP and draw than actually engage with the school work, particularly as I struggled with a lot of it and it was hard to explain why. This did not add up in the brains of my teachers who otherwise saw me as a smart, forward child and therefore had a tendency to take my failures and 'inappropriate behaviors' (constantly doodling, making silly noises, talking to myself, etc) in the class room personally and as if I was doing to to anger them.

Again, I believe Henry probably experienced something very similar and like me I think this is obviously where the "Doctors" started stepping in because the teachers would have deemed any similar behaviors, ESPCIALLY in the 40s and 50s, as disturbing, disruptive and highly disobedient which they would be in Henry's mother's ear about complaining constantly. Because in this time they would also think Virginia is somehow to blame for Henry's shortcomings at school. This would be Virginias problem in PARTICULAR as his mother and as the person, who in this time period, would have been seen as the one almost singularly responsible for raising normal children.

This is so important because in this time period, especially for white, upper-middle class Americans, conformity and appearance was ABSLOUTELY everything. Having a child that showed signs of being inherently "abnormal" was DEEPLY, DEEPLY shameful and upsetting. There was no such thing as a child with special needs of any kind. ANY type of disability or abnormality was to be shunned and eradicated, or at the very lest HIDDEN from polite society, because otherwise it was a negative reflection on the entirely family, which was particularly worrisome for parents.

And this is why it was EXTREMELY NORMAL, even encouraged, in these time periods to institutionalized anyone, of any age or gender, who was deemed "defective" and unable to fit with the normal, able, neurotypical, white society that was considered so important and elite at the time.

So if you think about it, even though we never saw Henry's mother interact with him, it makes sense that Virginia probably would have taken Henry's "problems" hard and made so many attempts to "fix him" or at least find out what was "wrong" with him so the could work toward "fixing him". She would have dragged Henry to multiple doctors to be examined to these ends, only for it to seem that there was no real clear explanation for what was 'wrong' with Henry and then you have to take into account the fact that many families didn't want to actually KNOW what was "WRONG" with their children, because there was no coming back from a real, genuine diagnosis (Even if it could be incorrect due to medical stigmas and a lack of understanding at the time) they just wanted some quick fix to suddenly make the "abnormal" child "normal" and thus avoid shame and persecution from their peers.

So you got children/people like Henry who were just considered "Broken". And mothers/people like Virginia who, after feeling as if they exhausted their other options, would often contact Doctors (Some esteemed, some controversial, it really depended on how said doctor sold himself to what family/person) like Brenner, who would usually promise they could totally make all the problems go away. This is pretty much exactly what happened with Henry. Virginia, at her wits end with Henry's growing "weirdness", contacted Brenner to do something about it.

Now, I personally believe Brenner probably manipulated Virginia badly, I believe he was a man who absolutely would have preyed upon her purely to get access to a child. He has been shown as extremely predatory and opportunistic this way. He would have had no problems exasperating whatever concerns Virginia had to ensure and convince her that handing Henry over to him was the best thing and that he could absolutely help.

However, regardless to what a cock I think Brenner is and how I think he plays a big part in this, I think there is suppose to be a distinct inverted parallel here in how/why Virginia sought "help" for Henry and in how/why Joyce sort help for Will. Because its not bad or uncommon for desperate and concerned parents to reach out to doctors for help in explaining, understanding, and reliving "problems" a child is having no matter what nature they come in. But Joyce reached out clearly with the intention of HELPING Will, to stand by him, holding his hand, protecting and nurturing him and ensure he would be okay because she loved and cherished her son. And then with Virginia who sought help because she was sick of Henry, was scornful toward him, and seemed more worried about image and reputation than she was about Henry himself.

And look. I can understand Virginia as crazy as that sounds. I understand her actions, feelings and thoughts toward Henry would have been heavily, heavily influenced by societal norms, expectations and pressure at the time. She would have believed she WAS doing what was best for her family, and ultimately what was "right" for Henry in the end. Virginia planned to institutionalize and potentially abandon Henry and she had to have some idea, even if she thought it was the right thing, that it was going to cause upset and probably disagreement because she didn't bring it up to Victor at all. Victor seems to have been utterly oblivious to this.

Its obvious if Henry didn't read his mothers mind and find out about it Brenner would have just turned up one day and taken Henry away, leaving Virginia to convince Victor that this was the right thing actually and everything will be fine. Now even if Henry was never hit by his mother or anything like that, this is all a form of abuse. Emotional abuse no matter how mild is still abuse. It can take a lot of different forms. Neglect and favoritism is also emotional abuse and I think its pretty clear there was neglect of Henry and favoritism of Alice going on in the Creel house at the VERY least. We get a heavy suggestion for this in Henry's obsession with spiders.

Most people fear spiders. They detest them. And yet, I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them. A kinship. Like me, they are solitary creatures. And deeply misunderstood. 

So here we have a little boy who related to spiders because he saw them as creatures that people only hated and wanted to get rid of. Because that was something he felt was true of him too. Why, if Henry wasn't suffering some type of abuse or neglect, would he feel this way? Again, Henry also relates himself to Eleven directly because of the mean and unfair way she was treated by others.

But along with ALL THIS we have suggestions that Henry was in fact probably more explicitly emotionally abused by his family as well.

Henry says this about his family:

As I practiced, I realized I could do more than I possibly imagined. I could reach into others, into their minds, their memories. I became an explorer. I saw my parents as they truly were. To the world, they presented themselves as good, normal people. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. They had done things, Eleven. Such awful things. I showed them who they really were. I held up a mirror.

Henry is directly referencing his father's blunders during the war, which lead to the horrific deaths of multiple civilians, one death being a infant that was burned alive in its crib. Henry saw all this explicitly as a child, he saw the war in all its gruesome glory through his fathers mind and it deeply traumatized him. He explains that his family pretended to be good and normal people but in reality they had their own issues and demons, these were things they lied about and that they hid from everyone. WORSE still, they judged Henry for his issues and failures which, in comparison, were pretty small and harmless given Henry was just little boy and these were grown adults. Henry explains right here that he TRIED to make his parents see their own issues. Henry's "torturing" his parents with "visions" that upset, frightened, angered and disturbed them were mostly just made up of their own shit that they refused to deal with and instead had the audacity to judge and punish Henry for his far more minor issues. People see Henry "tormenting" his family with scary visions as some sadistic evil thing but the reality seems to be more that he just wanted them to see and understand they weren't perfect either and thus maybe embrace and accept him more. But tragically that's not how it worked out, because this kind of prejudice Henry's family, specifically his mother showed runs deep. If they can blame it on some supernatural force and on their imperfect child, they will

My naive father believed it was a demon cursing them for their sins. But my mother somehow knew. Knew it was I who was holding up that mirror, and she despised me for it. She called a doctor, an expert. She wanted him to lock me away, to fix me, even though it wasn't I who was broken. It was them. And so she left me with no choice. No choice but to act. To break free.

I've mentioned it before but its interesting Virginia even knew this was Henry behind the visions because as far as we know Virginia didn't know Henry had powers. I mean maybe she did and they'll go more into that next season but for now there is nothing to say Virgina had any reason to know Henry was behind the visions. Which makes it seem like she just disliked her son sooo much that she even jumped to blame some crazy supernatural shit on him.

And there feels to be a message behind this, even if she was right and he was the one doing it. Because its odd to jump to that conclusion and moreover to outright hate Henry and plan to do what she planned when the visions and things that Henry was plaguing his family with were only intended to make his family see their own short comings and stop judging, shunning and blaming him for what was little more than his crime of probably having Autism. Like, its weird.

So Henry, continually outraged, hurt and betrayed feels like he literally has no choice but to kill his mother and sister, frame his father and dip, for his own safety and well being. At this point he's a kid who feels, or rather knows, that there ain't no one looking out for him or supporting him but him. His fathers too busy thinking the biblical devil is after them for 'sinning', and his mother is literally out to get his ass.

Also real quick. The whole Henry is an emotionless psychopath/born evil thing is ridiculous because it goes against how he was described and shown even as a child.

Even if you don't like him as a character its completely against canon. Henry was described in canon as sensitive (the opposite of emotionless) and he's shown to be very empathetic and troubled by not only the way HE was treated but the way OTHERS (like Eleven) are treated as well.

Furthermore the fandom mostly relies on a bad stereotype as evidence for why Henry is a psychopath. Not all children/people who harm animals are psychopaths and its very important to understand the motives behind these actions because they make the difference and the distinction for literally any sensible person. Psychopaths do these types of things for pleasure and enjoyment period. Henry did them for revenge toward injustices done to him or self preservation. As Vecna he does it because he thinks his ends will justify his means, because he really thinks he's going to put and end to the "oppressive, cruel" human society that is causing tremendous pain and suffering to others, particularly those like him. He killed animals because he was trying to understand his powers. Something he was alone in doing. He couldn't reach out to anyone to help him, he had no sources of information or guidance, he couldn't read a wiki or look up a youtube video on it. It was something he had to work out on his own. He doesn't take pleasure in killing any of the animals, he just thinks it was a necessary evil he had commit for a greater purpose (understanding his powers and the extent of them). Not to mention I think its worth pointing out the harming of animals and the 'morality' surrounding this can be very specific to what animal, where and why. "Pest" animals and "strays" are often deemed acceptable targets for harm or extermination and this could have played a part in why Henry saw them as "ok" to test his powers on. None the less, harming animals is in no way a good indication that someone is a psychopath particularly if the reasons are anywhere outside the realms of "I like killing and hurting animals purely because I like to see other living beings in pain which brings me pleasure".

When Henry kills the rabbit in the canon scene he's not shown enjoying it. Henry is NEVER shown enjoying ANY of his murders. There is nothing to suggest he's enjoying it, the only emotions Henry shows during these times is confusion, resolve, frustration, exhaustion and sadness. Vecna is also shown exactly the same when he kills. He is not expressing any type of pleasure or joy and we even explicitly see him try to "comfort" and sooth his victims. Again, theres no sadism or pleasure shown. Max also expresses that Vecna can't see anything inside of anyone that isn't sadness or anger. I also think its true that Vecna is so consumed by these emotions that he doesn't FEEL anything outside of them as well. We've pretty much seen that. None the less, Henry and VECNA believes these are things he HAS to do. They serve a purpose and none of that purpose is him taking pleasure from them.

What's more is people act like experts on psychopaths and see Henry hurting animals as a child and believe this is ultimate evidence of psychopathy but what about all the other "hallmarks" of psychopathy that Henry doesn't come close to and is in direct contrast to? Psychopaths are, even as children, often considered undetectable to folks outside of their immediate circle, and its not at all uncommon for even people closest to them to be completely oblivious. Its EXTREMELY uncommon for children to be clocked as psychopaths and none the less most psychopaths are hard to detect because they are masters at blending in with "normal" people and come across as very likeable and charming. Psychopaths are almost never weird outsiders like Henry was shown to be all his life. Psychopaths are 100x more likely to be the fun popular kid that everyone loves than the strange outcast kid that no one likes. Henry was someone who was outcast for being different straight away. He had no one, not even his mother who would have been suppose to love him unconditionally, fooled. Everyone knew Henry was different from the get-go and he was treated badly because of it. If he was psychopath he'd do a way better job of soaring under peoples radars.

We're also shown when in the lab, when Henry was confronted by the guards, his initial reaction was to take Eleven and run. He didn't fight until he was left no other choice. Again no sign of pleasure from Henry in doing this. Its quite obvious Henry was made aware that he and Eleven could never escape the lab without blood shed, from the MOMENT he was forced to take out those first few guards the idea of escaping the lab without carnage was out the window and its crazy to me to think that people can believe it was ever still an option at that point. But none the less, Henry also tried to shelter Eleven from this as much as he could. This again kind of shows whatever was going on in Henrys head it wasn't like "oh yeah I sure love killing people and I don't give a single damn about this nine year old girl I was just using her to free myself so I could go on a fun murderous rampage" and was probably more "I have to do this and I know she's only a little girl and it will be scary for her and I want to prevent her from seeing as much as I can".

None of those are psychopathic behaviors or traits. Henry wasn't born evil, I don't believe anyone is. And its also true that a very low percentage of actual psychopaths grow up to be murderers or commit acts of extreme depravity. I mean having ASPD can help in getting to that place, but only a minority of them are the violent monsters popular media depicts them as. The truth is you'll find psychopaths living as highly successful members of society more often than as depraved, dysfunctional monsters lurking around your neighborhood in the dead of the night. I personally think Brenner fits more the criteria for a psychopath, he's actually a way more perfect candidate for a depiction of real psychopathy than Henry.

Lastly Henry's 'we live in a society' rant and how that relates to spiders and his idealization of them:

You see, humans are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized I didn't have to. I could make my own rules. I could restore balance to a broken world. A predator…but for good.

"BUT FOR GOOD". Please take note of how he specifies BUT FOR GOOD. Its important. Like yes, Henry openly displays misanthropy but why wouldn't he? He has spent his whole life being imprisoned, abused, neglected, ostracized, shamed, shunned, dehumanized and depersoned by humans and human society. Simply for being "different" and for having powers. From his parents neglect and possible favoritism of his sister, and emotional abuse of him, to the absolutory nightmarish time he has had as Brenner's test subject, people have not been good to Henry. But its important that he openly acknowledges that its not so much HUMANS that are inherently evil but that HUMAN SOCIETY is a corrupt and awful place and is LARGELY to blame for his sufferings. He's literally NOT wrong about this. He is directly talking about his life as someone who was "different" and thus rejected and abused by society. He also talks about the fact that at some point, as Henry learned and became aware of this, that he has these incredible powers that maybe he could use work toward fixing the world! He should never have had to resign himself to living as a defective prisoner, and he didn't have to conform to what society deemed "normal". He could be his weird self and that was ok! He could use his powers to show people weirdness is ok and fight back against oppression! A lot of people in the fandom literally make fun of him for saying this stuff and that is SO disturbing to me, because what he is saying is literally true! Its true of society even now. Its not "cringe fail loser shit" and its sure as hell isn't "N*zi coded" shit, its tragic truth coming from the mouth of someone who was literally imprisoned, dehumanized, abused and exploited his ENTIRE life, all because he was "different" to what the restricted hyper conservative ableist, eugenics loving society of the 50s deemed normal.

I'm gonna paste this from another post that I made as an analysis on Henry and Vecna but:

Henry’s self-label of “solitary” creature and his relation to spiders is not suppose to clue us on to some innate evil within the character. Completely the opposite actually. Henry has spent his life only ever knowing scorn, rejection and exile from others. Whether this exile is imposed on him by others or self-imposed to cope and feel safe, this is a heavy feature in Henry’s life. This single feature made most of the fandom convinced that Henry’s interest in and relation to spiders was scary and proof of “psychopathy”, because they think of spiders as scary, weird things that need to be avoided or eradicated; they're just not viewed as living creatures worthy of respect or sympathy despite the fact they very much are. Its very ironic that people took this away from Henry’s speech as he was actually explaining the opposite. Henry literally says he relates to them because they’re a misunderstood creature, a creature that people hate and only want to exterminate, and that people have always treated him the same way. He takes comfort in being able to relate to something so much and finds them inspiring as a result. He draws strength from them. They made him feel safe and seen. He feels more empowered and less alone when he thinks of them. Unfortunately, a lot of people somehow boiled this down to “Spiders kill things, spiders are scary, spiders are unrelatable, spiders are emotionless so that's what Henry was trying to tell us about himself.” Which all couldn’t be further from the truth because Henry further spoke about the experience and unending stress of anyone who can not conform to societal norms, anyone who couldn’t live up to societies “expectations” and the restrictive, unfair standards of what is good and right vs what isn’t as these standards DO NOT apply to everyone. They are largely unnatural and that it is downright evil to try and enforce them on everyone since it is impossible for everyone to fit into the “mold.” The mold being heavily bias and flawed from the start. He is saying that all this nonsense has been made up by evil, bigoted, stupid people in power. He is talking about the real struggle “othered” people face against societal and systematic oppression. He’s trying to say that a spider is considered an important part of the natural ecosystem. Spiders fit this ecosystem whether people like it or not and despite their differences they have a valuable role in brining order to the natural world. He’s not saying he wants to murder people because he finds it funny and he’s a sadistic freak; he's ensuring himself he belongs and he’s trying to illustrate that someone with powers like his and Eleven’s would be able to fight and perhaps work toward dismantling the painful, oppressive system that is currently in place and bring about balance. Equality. If he has to eat a couple insects to do it then so be it. He directly specifies he wants to be a predator BUT FOR GOOD and that is what his meaning was. It was intended to be the opposite of a predator being seen as an evil, monstrous thing.

There, thats what I took from what we were shown of Henry's life and his "beliefs". This is why I really believe Henry is an abuse victim, who had less than ideal parents and was an oppressed minority, who suffered absolutely insane bullshit due to his minority status, particularly his neurodivergence and his motives and intentions come from there, not from some freakish desire to subjugate humanity bc he thinks hes superior to everyone and was just born evil and fucked up.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Title: The Secret History

Author: Donna Tartt

Rating: 1/5 stars

This is a book about an unsympathetic and ultimately pointless gang of privileged young men who repeatedly destroy other men and take drugs. There are no redeeming qualities to any of them -- the book would be worse if there were some redeeming quality, though this one is not an absence. A few of them try to murder other men, and these are the only human qualities shown.

I have seen this movie, which I think is a comedy -- you have the usual unsympathetic young-people-get-more-and-more-nasty thing except that they are doing it to their victims. It seems like it was made by people with the idea "young people destroying each other, this is so hilarious that we have to make a comedy out of it" and I can't blame them for wanting to make a funny movie from this story. But the book seems to want to be much more tragic than the film, so that when the story does have these funny interludes, the book is in for a cruel shock. This is because the novel doesn't have the ability to be a comedy without the constant expectation that its characters are going to be funny. If the events in the book were funny, that would not matter much, the book would then have the same comic value as the movie. However, because the events are boring, the book is constantly in the position of having to have its cake and eat it, to have a comedic scene where the characters are funny that then isn't funny, to have characters who are not funny but must remain in the novel because it does not seem possible for the story to be funny and not have these characters.

It's especially frustrating because it can't have all the characters be sympathetic without being boring. I'm not sure I could stomach a book where the first section of each chapter was just a long scene of sympathetic character interactions, then the book switches gears and the characters start destroying each other. If the book has to have these sections at all, then it has to be more than a single character in one of them. This is an unfortunate consequence of having a lot of unsympathetic young men, all of whom are likeable and have many scenes where they interact.

The characters are mostly attractive white rich people. The book has a lot of the same sort of thing that annoyed me about The Social Network: it's as though everyone involved in the book is very good at writing dialogue but none of them are very good at actually being men or being young. There are a lot of good sentences but they do not make good characters. They talk about their jobs and about what they've read, and so it's difficult to relate to them, to find the sort of bond you would want to have with a young man because (if there is such a bond) it feels like the author has tried to fill the book with these scenes but has not really succeeded. I can understand why the "people doing these things have to be good at them" idea wouldn't work if the book were simply, say, about wealthy college kids -- these aren't very fun, but there's the sense of them being a bunch of rich kids playing out their own lives that a novel could really get to, one where at least the author could actually be funny and not have to work very hard to be funny.

The book is also frustrating because the characters are all so rich and successful and privileged that there seems to be no way the story could end well for any of them -- I kept waiting for any of them to have what amounted to a "coming-of-age" arc, but instead I watched several of them die tragically young. I can't blame the author for this, as it's just not in the cards that way to have someone die of an unimportant disease and then go through an interesting character arc. The story just wants there to be tragedy, but the tragedy is not well done. The book's central premise is that an event where lots of people are involved is inevitably going to cause some tragedy, and the author's way of going about it is to write a lot about each of the participants in the event. This makes for a very long book. And the way it plays out, the people involved all seem to have their own internal and external conflicts, which means they have to be kept in the story long enough for all the bad things to happen to them, which means they are in the story too long and have to be too boring.

Tartt's reputation as an interesting prose stylist does not in the end save this book. I enjoyed several scenes that were written in the kind of prose Tartt is known for, but Tartt never comes through with the sort of writing that works for her (one suspects it works well for her because she takes everything for granted and lets the things she's good at show). The book's prose tends to be very pedestrian, the characters speak in flat, awkward, over-the-top ways, the book has a habit of just having people say "I believe in myself and my own potential and can't wait to get started on this great future I imagine I will have." There are a lot of "I am the cool guy and it is an interesting experience to be this cool guy in this cool way" moments, and this isn't very interesting to me -- the book's supposed to be about these people being boring and self-obsessed, so why not have them have the characters they talk about being themselves? The cool guy talking about his coolness is not an interesting character.

[taceolsaol]

Alright, so MAG 81-100. I wanted to check in more often, but I was too busy listening to them 😅. So, thoughts on Season 3…

First of all, the spider story explains A LOT about Jonathan Sims. The fear of spiders, the oddness, the knowledge seeking, just so much about him in one episode.

Also, I’m glad Jon seems more normal in this season. He’s getting all his “eye” powers but the entire time he’s acting more like a human. I know he’s scared that he’s becoming a monster, but this season we see him interact with a real friend, make stupid but not as stupid decisions, and even avoiding Martin and Tim is out of a misguided effort to protect them. I think it’s because he can actually work towards understanding where he was trapped in Season 2.

And Georgie is perfect. Her character is such a great balance for everyone else. She’s logical but not stupid and understands the importance of people to lean on. She is such a great friend to Jon and really sets him in his place when he gets too in his head. I love her so much, which also means I’m terrified for her.

Daisy. She is a concern. Obviously by episode 100 she is controlled by Elias binding Basira to the institute, but she’s a loose cannon and this isn’t going to last. I genuinely cannot believe how trusting Martin is of the police and how sure he is they wouldn’t want to kill anyone…. Like?

Elias’ role in all this is confusing. Obviously Jon is playing the key role for The Eye, so what is Elias. Just supposed to control the Archavist to make sure they don’t step out of line like Gertrude? Seems odd to me, because he also definitely doesn’t seem to be in control.

The way Melanie and Basira join also feels a bit strange. Like Melanie joining without listening to Martin’s protests and then trying to poison Elias? It seems so out of character for her and while being there she seems to have really changed. Basira seems totally fine and happy to settle into the role. They just seem to react very differently to the situation.

Tim. I’m not sure how to feel about him. I feel so bad, he so clearly doesn’t want to be here and he can’t leave. But none of them can. Even after Jon’s situation gets explained he still blames him. He tells Martin it is Jon’s fault Sasha got replaced and if anything happens to them. I can’t imagine how Tim feels, but his blame and anger seem pretty misplaced. Also worried if he keeps resisting so hard whatever is holding him there is going to decide it isn’t worth it.

And Martin, poor Martin. First off, his statements and the way he reads them is terrifying and heartbreaking. You can hear the emotion and pain in Jon’s statements, but Martin’s are almost overwhelming. They certainly overwhelm him. It does make me wonder exactly how tied to The Eye everyone else is. Jon is the Archavist, but Martin seems pretty tuned into what is happening. I’m just not sure. Second, I like when he stands up for himself and he needs to do it more. Third, its so sad how worried about Jon he is. The others are worried about their own interests for the most part (except Georgie probably), but Martin just seems worried if Jon the person is alright.

And then episode 99 and 100… I cant believe Jon just got kidnapped. Wtf and right when Georgie convinced him to reach out to Martin for help. That’s just rude! Also he’s screwed, so… and episode 100 is just painful to listen too. Whatever power the others have, getting a coherent statement isn’t it. I don’t think it’s their fault, those people that went in have no idea how to tell a story at all? I think I could give a more coherent statement than that? It’s not all on the Archavist.

Finally, Peter Lukas. Looking for Elias. Doing something? to that statement giver. Bad, I’m guessing…

[glitterymangosoda]

☆ characters ☆ : Reader(man in dream ver), Helena, Michiko, Patricia, Aesop

The waves crashing around calms down most people, said people including me. But it seems my dear friend, Helena isn't one of those people.

It sounds weird, but being stuck in the land of childish dreams and hopes is an idea I've become familiar with. After all, I have been here with a few others who managed to drift away from reality by pure accident. I can name them all since we are a small group of people, but I have to focus more on my restless friend as we walk along a lightened stone path.

“Y/N?” Helena's soft voice calls my name, making my head snap up quickly, “Why do you feel so calm by the sound of ocean waves? Aren't you scared of how harsh they sound sometimes?"

Still holding Helena’s arm as we walk along the path, her glittering lantern making sure we don't fall off path.

“Well, no matter how harsh the waves sound, they still have a sense of calmness to them." I answer, hoping my reply was enough for Helena. Which soon proves my explanation went over her head by her confused expression.

“Let me explain it more," my eyes stare at my shoes hitting the ground, watching each step as we soon step over the rocky hills and towards another path I explain again.

“It's like how when instruments play together, they sort of.. clash! But at the same time, they still form a melody. That's how I view the ocean and its moods."

Helena silently nods but quickly replies to my explanation, “That makes sense, but I still can't see why you enjoy the ocean and its quirks. The ocean is just so.. much bigger than us. I'm afraid one day it'll swallow us whole.” She mutters tiredly, handing me her bright lantern for me to lead the way.

“Hm, I can understand that reasoning too, but really.. Do you think the ocean in the land of dreams would harm us?" I sigh, “We've been here for quite a while, but no matter what the ocean hasn't done much except show its beauty." Without me noticing, Helena puts her head onto my shoulder as a yawn comes from her.

“Beauty..? You mean like mermaids?” Her eyes look like they're having trouble staying up as she speaks to me, I chuckle softly.

“Don't strain yourself, save your energy so we can make it back to the house." I tell her, only now noticing her head leaning fully on my shoulder.

Feeling her head nodding, I quicken our pace down the bright path.

Maybe our conversation could continue when we wake up? But when could we wake up? Ah.. Helena must be anxious, maybe that's why she sees the ocean as overwhelming and scary, can't really blame her. Especially not now in this situation..

A small but dimly lit house comes into view, I can already see Michiko, Patricia, and Aesop sleeping just from the window. They always fall asleep while Helena and I take walks along the paths. Actually thinking about the nightly walks me and Helena take, it reminds me of how Michiko always wakes up way earlier than all of us.

Sometimes she wakes me up to walk along with her, just like Helena. Even then, Michiko shows her concerns about the land we live on just as Helena does during the night walks.

Hopefully, we all can wake up and leave this dreamy land one day. Although this place is peaceful, we all want to go home. Michiko says she has a lover back home she wants to return to, Aesop has a job and hobby he has to fill his time, Patricia wants to return to her foster mother.. Everyone here just seems to be stuck in a place that is supposedly our “dream world”.

Even Helena wants to return to her own home, she especially said to me that she had wanted to go to those fancy schools with the crazy smart people, which fits the description of Helena. Meanwhile I want to return to my Mom. I really do hope that if there are some deities or even Gods watching this land- I do hope they'll help us go back home.

・・・

“No matter how hard we try, we'll never escape the land of dreams.."

[saramichielle]

Review for Anoosha Syed's That's Not My Name!

Genre: Picture Book, Texas 2x2

Target Audience: Preschool - Grade 2

Summary: Mirha is excited for her first day of school and to meet all her new classmates. After introducing herself, she realizes everyone at the school is having a hard time pronouncing her name correctly, even teachers! Mirha goes home upset and defeated that night telling her mom she wants to change her name. Her mom teaches her how special her name is, and the importance of standing up for herself. Mirha returns to school the next day and teaches her classmates how to say her name properly. This helps other kids in her class stand up for their own names as well.

Justification: I chose this as my Texas 2x2 book due to how important its message is to young kids. I grew up in a time when anyone with a newer-sounding name got a nickname to replace it. Everyone deserves to have their name respected especially if it comes from their culture. Books like this one encourage kids to not only stand up for themselves but also practice kindness in respecting the names around them.

Evaluation:

The illustrations within this book do a wonderful job of maintaining a happy atmosphere despite the difficult topic. The colors used throughout the story are very bright and colorful, except for the single page where Mirha feels defeated. Her character's bright colors are darkened to unconsciously tell the reader how sad she really feels. The colors used in the story are also fantastic at making sure no character is framed as a villain. While her classmates are hurting Mirha's feelings, the author does not blame them for their lack of education. By the end of the story, the kids learn how to say everyone's name, so everyone gets to embrace their names.

The content presented by Anoosha Syed is extremely relevant to modern discussions. Many adults are rightfully standing up for themselves with the correct pronunciations of their names, so Syed's ability to condense that discussion into a story that children can understand and practice is incredibly important.

Syed also does an incredible job presenting these difficult topics without turning any characters into stereotypes. Even though she writes some of the children as struggling with Mirha's name, Syed does not treat any of them like a villain. All of the characters are given the ability to grow and learn. This ensures that all readers know that everyone has the ability to expand their knowledge and better their treatment of others.

Reference:

Syed, A., & Ramahi, D. (2023). That’s not my name! Playaway Products, LLC.

[mxstball]

[PLOT END] [LIES AND RETREATS]

"..." Lauren was laying on Heidi's bed back in Sky Pillar. Heidi was there, monitoring her status, but considering the fact that her human form returned, she didn't have much to worry.

Heidi walked out of the room, looking at the group that were gathered around. Cogita, Cynthia, Garchomp, Seth, Zinnia, and Chrona were all there waiting for Heidi's determination.

"Lauren'll be fine. That Shadow Force did a number on her, and the fact that you said that she slammed against a wall too really didn't do her any favors, but she'll be okay. Trust me, it'll take a lot more than that to kill that stubborn girl."

Everyone collectively did a sigh of relief.

"Still, you guys shouldn't leave until she gets up. I'm sure that she'll want to talk to you guys when she does. Cynthia and Garchomp, 4th floor guest room is yours. Cogita, 5th. Chrona, you can stay in my room with her. Seth, you're staying on the altar with Rayquaza. Got it?"

No one objected and everyone agreed.

"Good. Now, disperse so I can still check on her vitals.... except for Cogita and Seth. I need to talk to you guys."

The group went on their separate ways, but Cogita and Seth stayed as instructed.

--

Heidi waited for the hallway to get quiet. She did open the door to make sure Lauren was okay, but quickly closed it when it was confirmed.

"Alright, let's get this out of the way. I'm not going to blame you fully for attacking her, Seth." Heidi pulled out Lauren's phone. "It looks like she used an aura jammer that she developed on her phone to block you from figuring out her moves. That's why it's been so hard to find her lately. However, I looked at it and it bugged out when she left the ancient resort, completely screwing with the aura around both Lauren herself and Cogita. So, for that, I can't blame you for being hostile."

Seth nodded. He didn't even know she had such a thing.

"That being said, you should have assessed the situation before you just... jumped in and attacked like that. You have no excuse to just abandon Cynthia like you did and charged in. She's your trainer. Please include her in more things, and she would have helped you to avoid this."

"..."

Seth nodded. He didn't have an excuse for any of this.

Heidi looked over at Cogita, but she didn't look nearly as friendly. "Partners, huh?"

"...Yes."

Heidi sighed. "... any sexual involvement, or are we just talking like, kinda romantic here?"

Cogita quickly scoffed. "...OF COURSE, NOT SEXUAL! What do you take me for? Seth and I are not quite platonic but not romantic either."

"..." Yeah, no. That doesn't make sense to her, but she'll move on. Heidi turned to Seth. "And when were you planning on telling them about each other, Seth?"

Seth tilted his head. He... didn't quite understand.

"..." Heidi sighed. Of course, he didn't quite understand. He doesn't understand how any of this works. ...Why did Lauren date him again? "...Seth... if you're interested in someone while dating someone else, it's important to talk about that with your current partner. If you have any level of romantic relation with someone behind your partner's back, you would be betraying your existing relationship."

"...?"

"Yes. That's what 'cheating' ultimately is, Seth."

"...!"

Seth was quickly shaking its head.

"..." Heidi sighed again. "Alright. Well, it's a little late to worry about that now. So, when she's up, I'll make sure she's healthy. When she's ready, I'll sit down with you guys so you can explain to her what's going on. How... she reacts will be up to her. She's been through enough as is. May as well get everything finished and let her decide on what to do."

Both Seth and Cogita nodded. It was all they could do at this point.

[avaleecrys16]

Hysteria

A is for Angry

“A is for Ava; the only girl he ever loved,” The voice of the pastor was drowned out by the wails of her cries. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She couldn’t hear the rest of his eulogy. Did their pastor make it down to “Z”? She wasn’t sure. Her sorrow was deafening. It stuffed up her ears and her chest and her eyes, like cotton bursting out the seams. This pain wasn’t natural, and it wasn’t supposed to be like this

********

“You really expect me to stand here and tell you i hate you? That’s really what you want me to waste my breath on. right now at this moment?” Ava’s eyes were dark, black, in the low yellow lights. She blinked heavily, squeezing her eyes shut and sighing harshly, “You are the most infuriating man.”

The man in question, her father in law, seemed to stiffen up at her. A broken man clenching at straws and lost in a daze. His eyes swam with tears, his face ruddy and swollen. And there was a tremble in his breaths. Ava didnt give a shit. She didnt’ have the patience anymore, the energy outside of keeping herself standing upright, to coddle him.

“Isn’t today hard enough? But here you are asking me ridiculous shit like this,” Ava rocked back on her heels and dragged her fingers down her face, “I just . . .you know what? No,” ava waved her hands in front of her slapping away her exasperation, “Everyone, literally everyone you know, gives in to the fucking mental gynmastic routine you make up. I’m not doing it. Right now or ever again. So no,” Ava’s black eyes zero in on the man infront of her, locking his watery gaze in, “I’m not going to feed your ego in any sense. You want me to hate you, to give yourself permission to be as miserable as you want and so you can flay yourself not just with your pain, but others pain aswell. And its just like you to be so fucking self involved.”

Ava stepped close, digging her fingers in the loose sleeve of his, “You dont get to have an easy out, like my hatred. None of us get to have it easy,” her eyes didn’t burn and her throught didnt feel tight. A first in the last week when everything around her had been sending her into hysterics, “You get to look me in my God damn face” she points at her self, her eyes black and harsh and still, “And know that I do not blame you. I am angry at everything EXCEPT you.”

Her father-in-law’s jaw wobbled, his eyes pinching shut but saying nothing.

“I feel pity for you, but I’m not going to give you a crutch, or a shovel so you can dig yourself deeper into your own despair. You,” Ava grabbed his hands in hers and tugged his tall looming form down to herself and snarl tugging at her lips, “You dont get to have my hate. Or my rage. Or my pain. Or my despair. You only have yours and you only need yours.”

“I call you dad, because even though you piss me off, you are my family. You’re a dad to me,” Ava watched as his body shook and she inhaled, “Youre my dad and you messed up, but I’m not mad at you. I dont blame you. I don’t hate you. Do not ask me carry something so toxic and so ugly, for your righteous ego. I don’t need that shit.”

******

Ava's hands shook while she held herself up against the kitchen counter. Her legs felt loose in her hips, her bone vibrating with rage, “You don’t understand. Rush isn’t the only one dead. I died too!” She screamed this at her mother. She never screamed.

Yeah, she could get loud, bark at others maybe, but that was rare. This, this was something else. The pain was like a possession. It used her mouth for her.

“You think I can comfort you? Me, the fucking widow. You want me to make you feel better? With what? I’m dead! I don’t want to hear about your hurt too. And how I should be bending over backwards to pander to your owies. My husband is dead. I’m dead. You need to comfort me. You need to think about me. I’m the one who shouldn’t have to be strong. He killed me. He left and he took me with him. Your daughter is dead!”

She shouldn’t be this cruel to her mother. Her mother hadn't meant to push. She just wanted to commiserate and talk about him, but Ava couldn’t do it. She needed her mom to be strong and reliable, not break down on Ava too. But Ava knew better. Her mom wasn’t like that. She didn’t deal with stress well. And she always sought the comfort of her family to keep herself together, but Ava was too angry and hurt herself to be a source of anything good to anyone.

Her mother should have never said anything, “You weren’t the only one that lost him," Her mother should have kept her mouth shut.

“And that’s supposed to matter to me right now?” As if Ava was that selfish. How blind was her mother?

All she thought about was Rush and his parents and his brother. All she thought about was her Father-in-law, holding that gun, her Mother-in-law covered in her son’s blood, her baby brother screaming for help into his phone. They were the victims. They saw it happen. They were dead too, “I’m dead, my life is dead, Rush was my future, and I’m supposed to sit here and think about you too? I’m sorry you lost your son-in-law. I'm sorry I'm pregnant with the gorgeous white grandbabies you wanted. How sad for you. Does that feel better?” Ava didn’t wait for a response.

How could someone be so selfish?

******

Grief can really make you pop off. I was acting like I belonged to the streets. Just mean as hell and READY to tell somebody about themselves. Annnnnnybody and Everybody could get it. I'm surprised I didn't get slapped up . . .🤣

[crossroadsdimension]

There were monsters made of light here. Because of course there were in a world that only had day.

And the stranger had a name now, at least. Or a title. “Crystal Exarch.” Better to call him something, at least.

And Cross certainly had a number of names for him, and made sure he knew she wasn’t pleased at his choice of timing. “I was in the middle of a fight with an Ascian when you called me last. You could’ve sent a message and asked BEFORE you started trying to knock down doors! You could’ve killed me if someone hadn’t come to my rescue!”

That got a wince from the Exarch. “Ah...yes. My sincerest apologies. Events here forced my hand to move sooner than I would have liked. If we had had the choice, we would not have called you at all.”

Well. At least that was something.

He led her the rest of the way to the Crystarium, and showed her around the space. No one here knowing of the Source, or her own world, was a bit understandable -- it wasn’t like she’d known, before the Ascian business started. Saying that she could use the Exarch’s “homeland” as an excuse not to be asked questions raised some questions of her own, but she decided not to ask them.

The fact that Miqo’te were called Mystel here was confusing. The fact that Warriors of Light were what caused the Flood of Light, and were now blamed as villains, was even more alarming. Cross couldn’t go by the title “Warrior of Light” here, not at all. And certainly not after a century since the Flood.

Granted, she’d known that the Warriors of Darkness had caused something to upset the balance on their world, but learning that they’d become villains in their world’s narrative, and that the world was barely surviving as it was...Cross had a lot to think about.

(The only other thing to worry about, besides the Warriors of Darkness’ reputation, was that the Exarch had yanked the Crystal Tower from the source at some point. Since it was still there in her present, it had to have happened in the future, so G’raha Tia had to be somewhere around there. Except...he wasn’t. Cross didn’t want to think of what that meant.)

Exarch offered to give her a place to sleep for the night and think about what she’d learned -- after making a pact with a pixie of all things in order to get her materials from the Source. She’d had to make a pact with a voidsent in order to pick up a reaper’s scythe, so she hoped the two wouldn’t have problems....or that she wouldn’t have problems with them both.

A room in the Pendants was hers to rest in...and apparently get visits in.

Cross’ eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she found out that the Warrior of Darkness was a ghost, in her room. A ghost who was equal parts relieved to find he could be seen and heard, and alarmed that Cross was on the First. He told her to be careful, and that the world had had its full share of heroes.

It saddened some part of her, to see that Ardbert was so defeated. The world he’d fought so hard to save, and now it had turned its back on him, blamed him for everything that had happened.

The Exarch gave her more to think about the following morning. The flow of time was different between worlds -- Alisaie and Alphinaud had been here for a year, Y’shtola and Urianger had been here for three, and Thancred had been here for five. Well, that certainly explained why the First had moved forward a century when barely that much time had passed on the Source.

Still -- all this time, trapped on another world, souls wandering around with a physical form but nothing else from home. At least the Scions were finding ways to learn about the world and try to stop the Light-based disaster from overtaking everything.

The Exarch showed Cross a map, pointing out the locations of everyone he knew. Thancred was apparently off wandering the land somewhere, but Cross was able to identify the Source equivalents on the map for the different nations left in the world. (She thought she could hear Ardbert scoff at her geographic mutterings behind him, but the Exarch didn’t seem to notice)

Alphinaud and Alisaie were easier to reach than Y’shtola and Urianger -- somehow, the Ishgard and Gridanian equivalents were just going to be Difficult for some reason -- and the Exarch left it up to Cross who she wanted to find first.

While Alphinaud attempting information gathering and diplomacy in an area where the rich lived lazy, lavish lives made Cross uneasy at the idea, the desert region and Alisaie sounded like a better place to start. Closer to home, for her, since it was Ul’dah’s closest equivalent. Besides, Alisaie was the last to be torn away. She’d want to make sure Cross was all right.

Destination decided, Cross decided to stock up and get more than a cursory glance at the Crystarium.

[timjohns3rd]

Sigh..

I wish it was easy to stop loving...to walk away...its not.  Everyone...Shannon, Tessa, etc... was easy compared to this... I know you are trying to set boundaries.. but the hug was nice.  I dont get how some people can turn it off so easily..  I know you want me to move my appts to my own calendar...but still keep access to the other since Im still going to be helping with the girls... I felt good with you saying that... I still feel horrible... I am truly sorry I didnt do better for you...and pushed you away in the process..  Story of my life..ruining a holiday with ants so to speak...I never wanted to be considered a free loader... with everything tho with the pandemic, uber eats...etc... and my background... made it so difficult... and hate myself in the process..  I dont blame you or want to guilt you...  everything I have improved in my life with myself is because of you.  I love you, I love the girls, and I love the furbabies..  you gave me all of those in my life.. I feel I accomplished my main goal in my life..  Now the other side of things... part of the reason for leaving the business is because of you...NOT in a negative way...but you deserve all of them around too...all the friends/fam you made and I dont want you to feel awkward around shows or anything...while on the other side... I dont want constantly be asked..what happened..etc..and its been 25 years...its a good time to walk away... never feel bad... ive been pushing myself for awhile as it is to get thru everything as it is...the drive wasnt there as much as it should have been...but I was doing it for you guys as well... as you all enjoyed it too As for what I am going to do after I have you paid back, and its to the point you want me to start the move out... Im not sure .... I know friends would offer me to stay with them... but I want to do this alone.. even if it means staying in my car til I built up enough...or finding a studio apartment and sleeping on the floor.. even if I do just stay in my car... Im not saying this for you to feel bad or anything (and dont expect it)... Its my choice I do willingly...as I said to do it on my own or die trying... I have to work hard not to fail.   I can shower at truck stops..etc... If Im unable to take my stuff with me...or ever get it for awhile...I expect you to do what you need to with it..even if it means pitching, or selling it to get it out of the house... I can always rebuild again... been there before with that... but ultimately you are not my storage place..which I truly understand that Also...even if I got a place... I wouldnt take either of the furbabies... as one...I promised myself I would never...and have you guys go thru that again like others did... and Im afraid I couldnt give them what they need either...  they have a loving home...and I have no right to take them from it... Why do I write these knowing you wont see them.  Just to help myself... while Id rather talk to you directly about this...I dont want you to think I am trying to guilt or anything... I accept my fate and what needs to be done...I truly do... with no hate in my heart..just remorse for everything I did wrong... and I dont plan to find anyone else..NOT with the hopes of getting back together...but protecting myself again...Ive made it to the top... I have nothing more to prove myself except surviving.. which I did before...