(cw: toxic relationship, tell me if i need to put in more warnings)
cross puts down the last moving box into the living room, feeling quite proud with himself. this new house he's moved into is in a fairly peaceful universe, with only monsters living in this part of the city.
cross opens one of the boxes, with the housewarming presents from dream and ink. an intricate flower vase from dream, and a painting from ink - nothing surprising coming from those two. a note from ink that cross doesn't want to read just yet.
along with a vial of something golden shimmering inside - killer's required dose, courtesy of dream.
"killer?" he calls out, his voice ringing in the empty house. "can you help me with this?"
after a few seconds of silence, killer appears in front of cross in a shortcut. cross takes a quick glance over killer. everything seems to be fine at least.
with killer's help, unpacking boxes and organizing furniture in the living room do not take a lot of time. they get everything done under three hours.
cross sinks into the plush sofa, satisfied. killer sits next to him, watching some cat videos on his newly acquired phone. a bit bashful, cross closes the distance between them and carefully envelops killer's hand in his. he leans over to watch the screen with killer, occasionally tilting his head to see the smile on killer's face.
"feeling okay?" cross asks, to which killer hums in affirmation. "do you want to take a walk near the park?"
"yeah sure," killer says, pocketing his phone away.
their walk is uneventful, which should be a good thing for killer. it is around noon on a weekday, so cross doesn't expect there to be many people out and about. though it is quite strange to have killer so docile next to him. he has said nary a word throughout the whole walk. cross expects he himself has to get used to it somehow, but he can't help the instinctual feeling of discomfort. and uncertainty.
"killer," cross says, holding killer's hand. "you're… fine there, right?"
killer's heart-shaped soul doesn't waver as he replies, "… i suppose so, yeah."
the sun is at the highest, casting light and heat right above their skulls. cross fidgets, watching their shadows underneath their steps as he feels something itchy creeping down his throat. "there's nothing you want to change?"
they walk in relative silence for a while. the park here is quite beautiful, cross has to admit. the grass is lush with paved path for guests to walk. there are some strange magical flowers planted in certain plots that he would want to look at later. a monster manning an ice cream stand notices the couple and waves at them. cross waves back hesitantly, while killer barely notices the guy.
they are approaching a water fountain to sit down when killer opens his mouth again.
"… nothing i want to change, but…"
cross turns to look at killer. the other has stopped, looking at something in the distance.
"i feel like i changed… somehow."
killer's soul wavers, as if unsure of what shape it wants to make. its owner stares at it, his eyelights gone.
"feel like i'm supposed to be somewhere else. something else entirely. why… why can't i reme-"
whatever killer is about to say next, he gets interrupted by cross sweeping him into a hug. cross' eyelights take on a distinct purple hue as he forces himself to relax and not crush killer shoulders with his grip.
"it's fine. everything's fine. you're fine," cross whispers, his tone frantic. "you are what you always want to be, killer. you don't need to change anything about yourself."
"cross-"
cross releases killer, making killer stumble a few steps backwards. cross stares at killer in the sockets, a lavender haze creeping into his vision. "if you have the chance to maintain the order of the world and another chance to be happy, what would you choose, killer?"
killer stares back at cross, his soul now slowly but surely taking on the shape of a target. black liquid starts to trickle down from killer's sockets, staining his pristine white face.
"… would be stupid to defy fate, no?" killer tilts his head, his smile strained at the corner.
"… i see."
cross takes a step towards killer. to killer's credit, he doesn't flinch or step back. the monochrome skeleton takes off his golden heart locket and delicately loop the chain behind killer's neck.
"it's okay if you disagree with me. maybe one day we'll be enemies again. but," cross hesitates, mulling over his words carefully. "know this, killer. even if that was to be the case, i would wish to create a world where you are happy. even if i had to fight the gods, i'd do it for you. again and again."
cross clasps the chain of the necklace and steps back, smiling as he sees killer looking at the locket with an indescribable expression on his face.
so!! starting off to say Moon 263 [part 2] might be one of my favorite fallenclan updates ever. here are some more specific thoughts because i have A Lot
the first panel with the "not actually chosen" ones chatting is so nice. the colors for this update are so tasty and really have a mystical vibe, but i especially like this first panel with the mushrooms. also, the textboxes look so neat overlapping. i like how wolfbite is quieter and not saying much while feathersight is speaking the most. it can be inferred that he's explaining about how starclan/the glowcave usually works with darkstone and honeysong occasionally adding on, and at the end wolfbite is just like "all right guys, i get it."
the way the starclan cats are drawn is so cool... the "fading" effect that makes them look all watery, as if bits and pieces of them are drifting away?? incredible. i love it! i also really like how the stc textboxes are a different shade. it's just a neat detail. the star effects surrounding them is so pretty also. i just love how you draw the starclan cats in general, they look so magical. i like how away from the glowcave, their colors bleed past the lines, but at the glowcave they appear more solid, as if they're stronger there. i just,, i love it
the cameos! omg. i literally never thought i would see nick again but here we are. i'm a big fan of all the appearances!!
silverbelly is adorable. i love how excited feathersight is to see her. also, when she first appears, i like the detail of darkstone sweating. despite being a medicine cat, he's literally never seen a fully formed starclan cat before. he's nervous!! wolfbite looks shocked but i feel like this is more about the idea of her being "special" rather than seeing silverbelly tbh. she's like "damn i guess i actually am plot relevant."
salmonskip... i was so happy to see her... she's such a goober. nick's "we all had our own cats we hoped would come" was such a fun line as well for its thought provoking effect. i feel like it's a nod to how there were so many different "fourth cat" theories in the discord server but i could be wrong. we all had our ideas! now i'm super curious as to who nick was rooting for... and also who each of the previous leaders wanted (should i send another ask with my theories on who specific starclan cats wanted to be the fourth cat?)
big fan of the "you weren't actually chosen, you chose yourself" yada yada. wonderful! i love choosing your own destiny narratives. i'm sure nothing bad will happen to our little feline heroes
sleepycloud :(
"you sound different than i thought you would" - honeysong, had me in shambles. honeysong is older than lionsong was when he died... he looks so young here
poppyfeather made me laugh. i love the "not that this isn't heartwarming..." that i read in a 100% sarcastic tone. she is not in the mood for happy reunions!! she has a dictator to depose, guys. time to see her vengeful trait come into effect...
the ending! darkstone and honeysong look so envigorated whereas feathersight looks exhausted and wolfbite... looks ready to "do what has to be done." i love how happy she was to see sandsnap, and then how her happiness is buried once the poppyfeather and cherrystar step in with their plan, as if seeing sandsnap only strengthened her desire for revenge.
i had a dream after this post where the squad was about to confront ravenstar and he was all like "you thought i didn't know about your little schemes? cute." and his little gang rolled up (sleepydawn, flamefall, levi, patchback, etc.). i don't remember much else of what happened but i woke up like " oh no . . . the little guys are in danger . . . " anyway this segues into my prediction that there will be at least one death as a direct consequence of their attempt to depose ravenstar.
-🐉 (giggling and swinging my feet)
as always dragon... you literally never miss
i'm so glad you picked up on the textbox thing, you basically got it in one!!! feathersight and honeysong explaining helpfully, darkstone chiming in with his little snips and jokes, wolfbite talking less because she's got somewhat of a listening role there etc
IT WAS SO FUN TO DRAW THEM LIKE THAT... the white lines made it kind of difficult to see the white cats (looking at you sleepycloud) but otherwise. so fun. your assumption is correct, they're more solid there than they are as ghosts, and then in Starclan they arent wispy at all, just faintly glowing with those white lines (though they're so fun to draw like this i might have to just draw the ghosts like this always. idk)
cameos!! Nick was a special request from my sibling that I agreed with wholeheartedly. he was so silly
"damn I guess I actually am plot relevant" LMAO
yup it was a nod to all the guesses!! if i had infinite time and energy i would have put in more starclan cats as nods to specific guesses (Canarywish aka the greatest red herring I ever fished comes to mind), but alas. and you KNOW id love to hear all your thoughts fuck yes!!! (I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for Nick, but if I had to choose I'd say he was hoping for Snailpetal as well, she's his only surviving descendant)
i'm sure nothing will happen ! nothing bad at all!
sleepycloud :( indeed. i will let slip that i've got some plans as far as the sleepydawn situation but that's all i'll say about that for now
SHES ALMOST TWICE THE AGE HE WAS WHEN HE DIED... i always forget how young Lionsong was. not even 30 moons :(
i love Poppyfeather she is ALL business. "listen you guys can come back to the glow cave literally any time after we kill ravenstar's bitch ass can we get on with it pls"
YES EXACTLY!! Honeysong and Darkstone are the Young Optimistic ones, Feathersight is very cautiously optimistic but has seen a lot of shit and is more realistic about the odds they're facing, Wolfbite is in Get Shit Done mode. she's locked in. her thirst for blood has died down a bit upon seeing her dad and now it is HER job to save her clan. weight of the world on this poor girl's shoulders
i'm sure there will be no consequences. dont worry
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand)
🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand)
🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan)
🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea)
🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)
🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)
🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)
🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea)
🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)
New series & movie announcements
🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)
🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)
🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.
❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.
❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.
❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.
❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.
❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:
The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)
i know like i just know in my heart of hearts that sanji has been smoking the same shitty bedraggled cigarette the whole time. three years. he takes one puff and puts that thing right back in his pocket and it gets waterlogged and messed up and dries out eventually and then he does it all over again and that's why it looks worse and worse with each arc. id normally never give him this honor but honestly? line cook behavior.
in the amelia pond au, amelia’s aunt does still send her to therapy between doctor adventures, but since amelia is now secure in the fact that he’s Definitely Real since both rory and mels have also met him and because she lost a tooth last week from tripping on the stairs of the tardis, she doesn’t bite any therapists this time around. and besides, her therapist is a very funny lady. she reminds amelia of her doctor, with how her voice will flip and jump in volume and accent and tone on a whim, with how she’ll talk to amelia like they’re conspiring together. she keeps the pictures amelia draws of the doctor and their adventures for her, even hangs one or two on the walls. she listens very intently to every detail, which no adults in amelia’s life do save the doctor himself and river song, whenever she’s around. and best of all, whenever she tells amelia’s aunt that amelia is doing just fine, don’t you worry, she’ll grow out of this, she winks at amelia so that amelia will know her therapist is only playing along to wave away her aunt’s suspicion.
it is a little odd, though, that she insists on only being called Missy. but amelia is quite used to odd by now.
🌙- what is your f/o doing late at night when they can’t sleep?
delilah is a CERTIFIED SLEEPYHEAD so she doesn't have this problem. due to her powers, she falls and stays asleep very easily....however, actually getting rest is another story, because using her dream powers takes up a lot of energy. this makes her nap during the day in order to get that energy back properly!!! so she'd probably meet up with me the next morning and we'd both me tired, me from not sleeping because i'm more of an insomniac between the two of us and her from sleeping but not getting any rest XD
as for sarv? she has a lot more skeletons in her closet that would keep her up. certain regrets and irreversible choices, past actions that haunt her, even things she's been forgiven for that she just can't let go of. being alive for centuries will do that to you, and being former leader of the underworld doubly so......especially since she's tried so hard to distance herself from that life. usually she sleeps pretty well but i can definitely see there being times where it all catches up with her again and she has to take a night to just ponder everything. most of the time she'll have ruv by her side to be a silent comfort/to talk things out with him since he was either there for it or has seen her at a point where he'd understand but on nights where i stay over i'm sure she'd just want to cuddle me close like a teddy bear and try to ignore it all. like with ruv she can let her feelings out more freely because he's seen her at her worst and understands where she's coming from, but she sees me as a fresh start and wouldn't want me to see the uglier sides of herself that she's been distancing herself from for centuries now. of course i would love her no matter what, but to her it's an oppurtunity she doesn't want to mess up, yknow? so if we spend the night together we'd probably stay up doing fun or relaxing things to get both of our minds off of the late night demons we both have to face
Before Yoohyun even opens his door, Junhwan’s raising his head, ears flicking. Yoohyun eyes him; while he can’t hear anything himself, Junhwan’s ears are still sharper, so he trusts him—but whatever emotion his daemon is feeling, it isn’t alarm. If anything, it reads as pleased surprise.
Yoohyun opens the door to hyung’s laughter and understands immediately. His and Junhwan’s footsteps are cat-light as they enter their house, padding silently through the living room towards… Is the sound coming from the Horned Flame Lion’s enclosure? Yoohyun’s told hyung not to go in there unsupervised for a while! …But hearing him still laughing like that, he can’t be too angry. Not when the little beast has apparently managed to achieve what he hasn’t in the last two days. A curl of jealousy flares inside him, Junhwan’s lips pulling back to bare his teeth in the start of a growl as he presumably arrives at the same thought, but then there’s a soft, breathless giggle-snort from noona and that-
That makes them both very quiet.
They slow down as they get closer. Hyung isn’t immediately visible through the glass walls of the enclosure; Yoohyun dares to get closer, keeping to the side with some of the thicker foliage, and peers through the gaps.
Ah. There. Hyung’s lying on his side on the soft grass, the Lion perched on his hip and staring wide-eyed at… Noona, who’s up on a tree?
Yoohyun doesn’t understand. What’s so funny? He squints at the Lion, who’s doing… a grand total of precisely nothing. It’s just staring at noona and swishing its tail back and forth, the tip occasionally flicking over hyung’s side. Is it tickling him? But hyung isn’t ticklish, as far as he remembers… And even if he was, what’s noona laughing about? She’s halfway up one of the trees—Yoohyun takes a heart-stopping second to study it and make sure it’s not a Gillotinae, even though he knows objectively that she wouldn’t be stupid enough to get close to those—and peering down at hyung, wearing a silly smile.
She shifts as he watches, turning to jump across to another tree close by and scrambling up its branches. “Reckless,” Junhwan mumbles almost inaudibly, and Yoohyun agrees. There’s something almost childish about the fumbling, uncontrolled way in which she climbs. Like she’s not used to all her limbs being where they are. He remembers it from back when she’d first settled—for two weeks after that, Yoohyun and Junhwan had watched her jump off high spots and panic because she’d forgotten she couldn’t fly. (She was a cat, she’d always landed on her feet, of course, but that hadn’t stopped Junhwan from moving to catch her. Just in case.)
She’s climbing really high right now, actually. Yoohyun frowns as she clambers to the top of one particularly tall tree. Shouldn’t that be stretching their distance limit? Even if hyung’s Awakened now? She barely seems to notice, and the same goes for hyung, who continues lying there, watching her affectionately. Noona crawls out to the edge of the branch closest to hyung, peeks down at him, then hunches down and—
Her feet lift off the branch. Yoohyun and Junhwan lunge for the door. There’s rustling of cloth and grass and fur and creaking hinges and then—
And then, Yoohyun and Junhwan are staring at hyung lying on his back on the ground, noona pillowed safely on his chest and the Lion on his knees, all three of them staring back.
“Yoohyun-ah?” Hyung sits up, noona hopping up to his shoulders and winding around his neck. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Yoohyun blurts. It was only in case— “Nothing. Are you okay?”
“I… Yes…?”
“Okay.” Yoohyun nods quickly. “Good.”
There’s words at the tip of his tongue—be careful, didn’t that pull hurt, why are you in here when I said—but he never gets to say any of them, because noona narrows her eyes at Junhwan and says, “Well, in that case, let them talk, I-wanna-play-tag-you’re-it!” and flings herself at him.
Junhwan bolts entirely on 17 years’ worth of reflex, and noona chases him in circles around them, yowling when he goes too far from hyung for her to follow. Hyung snorts when Junhwan sheepishly approaches them again, only to dance away from noona’s batting paws.
“Oh, that’s no fair,” hyung wheezes, and coaxes the Lion off his knees before bracing his hands against the ground, pausing for a moment (…?), then rolling to his feet—no, foot, all his weight is on his left leg (??) for a split second before he relaxes, balanced once more. “Let’s give her a fighting chance, huh?” he says, and Yoohyun's eyes belatedly flick up from his leg to his face when he starts jogging after Junhwan. Noona gleefully gives chase with the new extension to her leash, and Yoohyun’s forced after them as they cross to the far end of the enclosure.
There’s a pleased smile on hyung’s face as he goes, childish glee in noona’s cackling as she runs, and Yoohyun watches them for a moment before deciding to drop it. He can bring up the question another time; it hardly seems fair to ruin their fun now.
Unfortunately no matter how charming and cute e-celeb cats are, they are never as adorable as my cat. Shame that I'm the only one who gets to see the best little kitty in the world.
my partner pumpkin lives in my mind rent free a massive chunk of my waking hours. i know in all actuality they arent actually what i think about constantly, but every day, when im without them i do something or see something or my mind just wanders and inevitably they come back to mind and i often catch myself with the goofiest grin as i think of them.
im so excited to explore the future with them, it makes me just. happy to think about being next to them, a year from now, and to think about how we will both shift and change and how each of us are in our own rights will grow from our love and i so so hope im blessed that we are able to keep growing together like two vines intertwined, reaching towards the sun for a very, very long time. im so gay for them its absurd, im so in love and i love them so very much its CRAZY.
ok two things. #1 i am IMPOSSIBLY exhausted. just took a nap for a couple hours and have been awake for a bit but i feel like ivr been whacked like a punching bag like good god. and #2 is gonna have to make me delete this post later bc i feel weird and bad and paranoid abt saying it lol but. it’s just fucking weird and bad kinda bc im literally 2 years older than / removed from the students who work closest with us rn (who i spent most of today tabling w) and it’s so awkward bc we’re at the same-ish life stages and ik we totally would’ve been friends if we’d gone thru the same programs together as students but they ignore me / don’t and can’t talk to me like we’re friends bc im a staff member and my attempts to talk to them are lame and weird so idk. it’s just a lot and stressful and sobering