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torchstelechos · 1 month

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just saw you saying you want to talk about The Characters (isat) what are some thoughts you got bip bap boppin around in the noggin about the Them

Ooooooooohhhh Anon,,,, Ooooooh, You have unlocked deep thoughts and long monologues.... have this piece of bullshit that I spat out in excitement

Isabeau:

Ah yes, dear Isabeau, my most beloathed <3 (self recognition in other /derogatory). He’s one of the characters I’ve written the most meta for that's actually about his character in the game. I love him and hate him in equal measures but that's not what I want to talk about today! I want to discuss his morbid humor and fascination, I suppose. Also his rather interesting character type and how that's displayed in the game, specifically through his morbid thoughts and discussion choices.

In the game we see plenty of times that Isabeau uses morbid word choices (killed them so that I could live friendquest quote) and brings up morbid discussion topics (what do we do if you die? What do we do if Bonnie dies?) that the others find disquieting. He also laughs at Siffrin’s time traveler joke, finds scary Siffrin attractive, and finds being paid attention too enough that they can harm you attractive. This brings me to my main point, which is that Isabeau is the cold scientist archetype character that tries to be the himbo fighter character. Of course we know that hes trying to hide himself behind the himbo character type, but the fact that he's analytic to a fault, morbid in almost every way, finds scary things attractive, and calls Changing killing his past self… this man is very much a scientist that was about to turn evil but decided friendship was the answer whose character was subverted into himbo fighter because those who are dumb are more liked than those who know things. It's interesting, and I think it’s one of the reasons I despise Isabeau POV fanfics. Most fanfics feel almost like his facade is him, and thats just not true and it bugs me so very much to read fanfics with his POV now. But! This isnt to say those fanfics aren’t well done! They are, I just find them lacking in canon Isabeau’s almost neutral analytical personality that was then filtered through therapy and self help books esque vibe. Fascinating character, hate him dearly for it though.

Misc thoughts:

I generally have a hard time nailing down everything I feel about him for a variety of reasons but I do want to say that I think he finds Siffrin’s big melt down appearance attractive after the whole thing blows over. I also think he doesn't have the best track record for what is okay to say or not? So he falls back on “I am dumb therefore I can say things that others find disturbing and frame it as something I just don't understand or misunderstood :)” which kind of backfires on him constantly because now no one really takes him seriously? I don’t know, I just find most smart characters have a hard time figuring out the social situation of certain things so they tend to either not care at all for tact or overthink everything and over compensate by not allowing themself to go for certain things. In this instance its him not being able to confess because he thinks he's bad for liking someone in a certain way and doesn't want to pressure them which backfires because he's otherwise a good communicator but failed hard with Siffrin. Speaking of, I don’t think hes ever gotten with anyone other than Siffrin. It took the world literally almost ending and a time looping induced trauma attack for him to confess he liked Siffrin, this man does NOT have game. So, lol, that kiss? Probably his first <3, RIP my man did not deserve that

Odile:

Strangely enough I don’t believe I have ever written a meta post for Odile? Or anything about her other than tags? So yeah, let's focus on her. She's a very honesty based character in a game literally about someone not being able to speak the truth, which is why I appreciate the sus route so much. She noticed something was wrong and went for it, leading her down rabbit holes best left untouched. Odile is a character that I truly think would have accidentally unleashed an eldritch horror on the quest if not for Isabeau stopping her. Mainly because she is smart but not academic smart, she's learned from her travels plenty of things that lend to real life experience but she's not much of an academic when it comes to how to get answers she wants (taking until the very last town to get a familytale while Siffrin took maybe three loops to do is. Certainly something!). Its fascinating, because if I were to actually describe her personality and how that lends to a character archetype I would say that she's a brawler character. Effectively, she and Isabeau are reflections of each other in a very specific way and I think about this often in her relation to the group. Its almost laughable how shes been put into this responsibility role of the group while Isabeau is off goofing around (and secretly plotting how to best respect his friends remains), shes not very good at knowing what is the best course of action and acts out in impulsive ways that harms others (Looking at you, hitting Trauma Big Siffrin moment) and that doesn’t… make her a good leader per say? I just find it funny, how others write her as someone who would go out of her way to research Siffrin’s home country and succeed when she barely succeeded in her own knowledge hunt. If anything, it would be Isabeau who would find the information and inform Odile rather than the other way round. I dunno, I just don’t think anyone is really considering the fact that she probably hasn’t set foot into a higher academic institution just based on her research skills.

Misc thoughts:

I’ve only seen one fanfic acknowledge the fact that Odile hit Siffrin? And did so in such a way that it hurt badly. I wouldn’t be surprised if it left a scar (which that little freak probably adores because he knows that it means he wont forget Odile ever again), alongside the others they gave themself. Speaking of said hurting, I don’t think it's really acknowledged how much Odile puts down Siffrin? Yes it's usually just a teasing moment here or there, but have yall thought of the fact that she compared Siffrin to an animal and has hit him? I think about this so much. I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep sometimes. She did that to him, and he *remembers it,* he acknowledges it during act 5, he has that ingrained into his *soul.* I think people should write about it more, or at least acknowledge that Siffrin probably… doesn’t want to talk to Odile about feelings or be touched by her for a while? Honestly, if I was Siffrin’s position during the failed friendquest moments? I would have said worse. I would have done worse. Because can you imagine? Imagine with me, you just remembered that your country is gone, everyone you love either doesnt remember you or is dead, the only person who could possibly tell you anything is the man you must kill, and your family member is talking about how hard it is to be in the country her mother is from and not feel a connection to it. That you are both more than your heritage. I would start biting, kicking, fighting, hell I would probably find out what she looks like without her bun! I would be pissed. But yaknow, Siffrin is a nice fella and kind of only waited to go off the deep end when they were sure they wouldn’t be able to escape. Anyway, I think of Odile sometimes and get violently ill by the knowledge she no longer holds that would explain some of Siffrin’s reactions and word choices to her cause no matter what? She can’t take it back. She never even said it. It’s not even real anymore. God I love this game, it makes me feel sick.

Mirabelle:

Big ol’ sigh, yeah the-bitter-ocean if your out there I think about your tags on my Mira post a lot. The fandom doesn’t really get her do they? Most of the time I see people write her off as not very understanding or oblivious to other people’s feelings, which fair for romance (she didnt notice the very glowing sign of what I believe to be a ginger blushing but yaknow I understand as aro) but shes very good at knowing when someone isn’t feeling well? She has several unique dialogue options after Siffrin gets up from the field after looping which Odile does not have (despite EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGING THEY’RE NOT OKAY), and asks after their wellbeing despite being in a constant anxiety attack and morality stress issues induced panic attack in the house. The only real big character flaw is a very typical shonen main character flaw which is that she is too trusting to a degree that it let Siffrin get away with almost destroying the world, Bonnie dying, and the others stepping all over her own feelings (not that any of these are her fault, but she did contribute to the lack of communication which lead to the loops. I love her, I do, but EVERYONE had a hand in Siffrin getting stuck in the loops). Her trust is also what led to the big fallout and slap she gives Siffrin during act 5, she was already giving her heart to him and the others and was constantly checking in during the adventure to make sure everyone was happy and okay with what was happening so the sudden switch from her POV is a huge betrayal of her trust in them. This is basically someone you were already on edge about hating you suddenly deciding that yes, they do hate you and everything you stand for because *they know.* No matter what you think about the situation, Mirabelle’s trust (her biggest character flaw) was thrown back into her face after she thought they were okay with her (not even a few weeks ago they said that this was the happiest they have ever been and she *remembers this fully and utterly*) and broke her heart with all her insecurities. It’s a very hopeless situation when you don’t have context, which means I don’t really blame her for slapping Siffrin, I just wish that it didn’t happen because as a Player I know the full context. Betrayal of trust… its a funny thing in this game, because it wasn’t a betrayal specifically from one POV but from the other it was. Fascinating! I despise it, I love it, it makes me sick.

Misc Thoughts:

Oooooh Mira we are in it now, This endgame of yours has left you with insecurities and trauma you didn’t think possible. I love her, I do, which is why I also have a great idea for a fanfic that involves her getting some VERY bad coping mechanisms <3 teehee. Careful what you wish for darling! Things go bad if you don’t take care of what you love. Anyway, I don’t think it’s weird to have Mira in outfits that are contrasting too heavily from her personality in the game? I dont know how to say this, but I think it’s a tad strange that I’ve seen roleswap aus/personality swap aus where Mirabelle is different via aesthetic? Because thats her whole religion? Sure she doesnt want to change but I don’t think she minds much clothing or aesthetic wise? In fact i think she considers that the safest option? So I dunno, I think people should dress her in goth and emo outfits more. Also I do think its a tad silly people don’t focus too much on her journey trauma and rather focus on her romance trauma, yall know that was just a distraction and not her main issues, right? Like yall know this game isnt romance the simulator, right???? RIGHT???? God Mira, you would hate that the fandom boils you down to your AceAroness, I just fucking know it.

Bonnie:

Who let this sassy small child into this story???? God, dearest Bonnie, the literal best party member Imo. I love them dearly, they are one of the meanest fucking assholes in the game I adore them. Yall think about the longstanding issues Siffrin has with touch and reaching out and how the rotten adults route fucking annihilates them into smithereens lol. I think about the fact that Bonnie has harmed Siffrin soooo much in the loops, it leaves me breathless because this small child has killed Siffrin twice, slapped their hands away when they tried to help them (for the first time in Bonnies POV!! Thats huge!!), and yelled at them multiple times about how awful they are. I do wonder what would have happened if the rotten adults route continued without looping? Who would have spoken up and who would have had to realize that something is WRONG with Siffrin in that moment? Would Bonnie backpedal when they realize? What was Siffrin’s facial expression right then? What happened? I just. God. Fuck. No one talks about this AT ALL in the fandom and it drives me insane. Despite everything, despite what was erased, what was unmade, the effects stayed and will continue to harm Siffrin. Do yall think about the idea that Siffrin probably doesnt reach out until Bonnie does post loops? I think about this so much, Bonnie has harmed Siffrin so many times it would kill them if they ever found out, and I desperately need them to find out. I also kind of,, just assumed that Bonnie would be keeping a keen eye on Siffrin’s eating and remind them to eat and drink water (even if I dont think Siffrin needs that) after the loops because its an easy way to help and have some control over situations? I dunno, I think Bonnie is a very complicated kid who has harmed and been harmed and no one will ever know just how much has been done and undone.

Misc Thoughts:

I still think Bonnie should be able to make and throw bombs post bomb memory. I just NEED Bonnie to throw a molotov at the King, fuck, it would be so funny. Also as a side note, I do think growing up Bonnie has to deal with a lot of untreated Trauma and probably reacts very similar to Siffrin before someone comments on the fact that they are just like him and suddenly they start going to a therapist about it, I do not think they would take it as a compliment for even one instance. They would get sick so fast and go, me and them? Similar? No. I have to go to get a doctor. I cannot be a Frin Jr. the world could not handle it. And suddenly they have the second best mental health of the group (first goes to Isabeau because Isabeau was already in therapy before the game, I just fucking know it <3) which makes everyone fucking jealous as hell because seriously? The Kid??? Damnit. But yeah I do think the fastest way anyone could get Bonnie to accept help is to compare them to Siffrin because they do have a Recognition of Self in the Other (derogatory) thing going on with Siffrin in the game, which is probably worse by the fact that they grew up with him as a role model. Everyone that knows them is like, oh my change your so lucky! The saviors are your family that must be so cool <3, and Bonnie is like. They make me to go to bed on time and force me to eat veggies what the fuck are you saying. Anyway yeah I love Bonnie so much, the meanest fucking kid in the game <3.

Siffrin:

Aaauuuggghhhhh, the one everyone is waiting for, the Siff of the Frin. Love this fucking idiot, but yeah lets talk touch and how the family has hurt them over the loops <3. Okay so straight out the gate, Bad touch! Isabeau pushing them away after they kiss him, which is very understandable because yaknow Isabeau could tell that was a desperation kiss and is not okay for either of them but! Holy shit! Siffrin, my dear friend that was probably the worst thing you could have done, but yeah that did leave its marks deeply in them so I will mark that down as harmed. Then we get the bad friendquests, which yeah Isabeau hitting them with the “I thought you were also trying” hurts more than I can physically say, but we’ll mark that down as two. Then Odile hits them, grabs their collar, sus quest bullshit, and general disdain for Siffrin lying about the stars we’ll mark down as four more which leads to six. Mirabelle slapping Siffrin and letting him get away with lying about his health we’ll put at 8. Bonnie pushing him into a tear, pineapple, slapping hands away, and yelling at them multiple times we’ll put at 12. Then there's the “like taming a wild animal” teasing which Ill put at 13, all of which is just off the top of my brain and I know there's more moments that hurt Siffrin deeply. Yaknow, looking at this, typing this, it seems a tad silly but. How else could I describe the never ending pain at knowing that most of these wont be acknowledged as bad for Siffrin as it was bad for the others? I dunno, I think about Siffrin giving everything up for the party and no one knowing exactly what they did because how could they? It’s gone. It’s not real anymore, not until Siffrin says it. I just. I dont know where I’m going with this but Siffrin as a character hurts me deeply, and I think it’s because no matter what happens Siffrin refuses to acknowledge when the others hurt him back. Just. Keeping the cycle going because they dont know how to break it, and they never have until they break first. I just think of this a lot. Him being stuck, in circles over and over.

Misc Thoughts:

I wanna chew him up and spit him out like a dog toy. No further comments (see my blog for further comments). ((I need to see a Self inflicted Achromatic animatic, pls, fuck plsssss))

LOOP:

Loop time!! Loop time! I am physically ill because of this beast. You all know that one fanart where it says “You Won!” and Loop is dry heaving? Thats me at literally any moment when I think about Loop.

I am a little shy to admit though that I didn’t catch their facade at first, mainly because I’m not very good at catching things like that at first? If a person acts a certain way, thats how they act! So Yeah, ya boy was confused by two hats lol. But afterwards I did do a bit of thinking and as I mentioned in a previous post i do think Loop is pretending/acting like how they remembered Siffrin acted like before the loops. Mira mentions that Siffrin is mean in teasing, enough so that it might have hurt if she didnt know that it was friendly teasing. Isabeau has a great monologue about his feelings on Siffrin before the loops, and Siffrin themself acknowledges some of their less than savory traits before the loops during the loops as well. This is to say, Loop is a fucking prick that tries to be floating and teasing in their comments while hitting where it hurts in just the right way that they can pretend that they mean something else. I genuinely think thats how Loop remembers themself before they were Loop, even if they got some things VERY WRONG. Of course, by the time they realize this it’s too late and that’s their personality now, which is kind of fucked up when you realize how much of their personality is them acting out a half remembered person who died many many many loops ago. But alas, such is the way of Loop.

Also if we think about Loop in comparison to Siffrin. Well. We get an interesting picture. But the thought makes me too ill to continue. But I will say loving someone so much you destroy yourself for them… I don't think anyone in the family would be happy about that really. Theres a difference between destroying yourself and destroying the world… I wonder why that is for them, what made the difference between self and the world. A fool, and the world. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, Loop’s facade gets me everytime and I want to use them as a stuffed animal.

Misc Thoughts:

Yeah that STAR CAN NOT EAT OR DRINK, lol get rekted they cant even fucking get drunk. Now for some HCs, I do think that Loop would wear a promise ring, even if no one in this Vaugarde understands what that means. I just. Think that Loop wouldn’t be able to let go of Their Fighter. Hahaha! I don’t really wanna go further into detail about this rn but I AM THINKING… Loop is one of the saddest characters I have ever fucking had the audacity to love. No I will not take comments on this further lol. (Me loving Loop and Siffrin while disliking Isabeau? Call me an Isabeau Kinnie at the rate lol)

#Isat #isat spoilers #isat isabeau #isat mirabelle #isat odile #isat bonnie #isat siffrin #isat loop #pure unfiltered thoughts I did not proof read this so if I got anything wrong pls blame it on the drink I had #Adult icecream teehheeeee #Anyway if I catch anyone clowning in my notes ITS ON SIGHT #also this is about 3580 words lol

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sybaritick · 10 months

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cal sybaritick's

durgetash fic recs 🔪⚙️

i love durgetash. i love evil/evil power couples. i love the drama and the religious guilt and the self-recognition through the other (derogatory) and the insane definitely-not-safe-sane-and-consensual kink.

for this reason, i have read several hundred durgetash fics on ao3. here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites!

all of the recs will be marked with pronouns, race, and genitals (when relevant) of the durge for your convenience

An Obedient Butcher, A Beast On A Leash by NeverwinterThistle

durge notes: og/white dragonborn dark urge (my favorite!!), he/him with dick

E / 4.8k / sadism and masochism, choking, frottage and grinding / complete

The room was warm. It smelt strongly of skin; overheated, overcrowded, overscented to hide sweat. Fill for this prompt on the Baldur's Gate kink meme: Gortash and the Durge are lovers, but due to the strict orders of tyranny in all things that Bane requires, Gortash is not allowed to bottom, on pain of retribution or revocation of Chosen status from his god. And, well, maybe Gortash really wants to. What might their sex look like with such a restriction? How do they deal?

this author has done multiple incredibly good durgetash fics but this is definitely one of my favorites. the dynamic and push-and-pull between them is excellent, and you can tell they truly do respect each other in a sense, despite being godawful people. they glory in their empire of blood and that's so much fun. and of course, the kink in this one is delicious... yknow, every time i do fic recs i have the impulse to share things no one needs to know about my personal life for at least a couple of them, but you know what, maybe i can keep it to myself just this once. but the point is the way gortash wants to let durge tear his ass up but can't is incredibly hot, and i particularly like that gortash essentially considers it an outdated religious restriction... that bottoming is not actually indicative of True Submission in the way Banites are told to believe it does.

lose the halo, don't need to resist by @lamortactuallywrites

durge notes: they/them half-orc with dick :)

E / 7.0k words / bondage, orgasm delay/edging, kink negotiation / complete

There is no absolution to be found here. They wonder if their father is watching, if Bane is watching, if they will each know the wrath of their gods before the night is through. Yet somehow, with blood drying tacky on their hand, bruises pressed deep into their flesh, and his mouth hot around them like he was made for this, it feels private. Protected.

i adore the kink negotiation in this. gortash is such a jackass (affectionate)... and once they're in it, durge snapping back like an angry dog, struggling so beautifully, when they're too tied up to really fight back is hot. someone insulting you so desperately because in reality they know they're not the one in control is. extremely hot. like "come on tell me more about what a monster i am while you're tied up begging for me to touch you" ygm??? read the fic it's good.

Mutual Manipulations by fermiparadox

durge notes: he/him drow with dick

E / 3.1k words / hate sex, power dynamics, handjobs / complete

Bloodlust is its own kind of aphrodisiac.

i love the characterization of both Durge and Gortash in this one-- resplendently awful. and considerably less trusting of each other, in a way that's very enjoyable. this is absolutely hate sex, and done very well... Gortash wants to subjugate Durge and keep him on a leash, and Durge wants to murder him violently. beautiful!

Marsember Syrah by say_lene

durge notes: she/her with pussy

E / 5.7k words / dom/sub, [consensual] mind control, power dynamics / complete

After a successful operation in the High House of Wonders, Bhaal's Chosen and Bane's express their admiration for each other. It is, predictably, very tense. “Ah, so you’re concerned for my wellbeing,” he said – calm, even as a thin trickle of blood rolled down his neck. “You needn’t be. Our masters commanded us to cooperate, after all, and in suffering me to live, Bhaal opens the door to veritable rivers of blood. You know him better than I, of course, but surely even the Lord of Murder can see the value of delayed gratification.”

this author has done multiple incredibly good durgetash fics, but this one is my favorite. i love the way they characterize gortash. anyway, normally, being the mind control/brainwashing/hypnosis/etc fetishist i am, i would barely have anything to say about this other than "read this for the mind control descriptions they're so hot that i've read this fic at least four times." (which i have). however not only is that hot but everything else is *also* extremely hot, and well written/well paced. particularly the way gortash "offers" durge lesser banites to kill, and how she enjoys it so, despite not quite wanting to just let him hand-feed her like that yknow... very tasty.

Yank of the Leash by BlueCloverInGreen

durge notes: he/him with dick

E / 28.2k words / dom/sub, grooming, noncon and dubcon / complete

Many, many potential triggers. Please read the tags carefully. I will also post specific tags before each chapter. This is a work in progress and my first project. Critique is welcomed and appreciated. Not beta read.

definitely do mind the trigger tags on this one, as the summary mentions, but it's a great guilty pleasure-- and by guilty i mean you'll feel something for finding it hot considering how dark it is, especially with regards to the grooming aspect. i can read some very gory fics, noncon, heavy kink, etc and not question how into it i am, but this fic?? this fic made me feel guilty and uncomfortable and that's a compliment. it definitely gave me the sense "yeah, Gortash would want it like this"

Knowing by @chocolatecatcupcakecheese

durge notes: they/them

E / 3.4k words / power dynamics, cunnilingus, bondage / complete

“What were we to one another?” Tav asks at last. “We were allies before,” Gortash says. “We—” “Allies?” Tav interrupts, sing-song with insinuation. Gortash takes a slow, steadying breath against the echo of desire. That teasing tone of voice is so damnably familiar. “Yes.” His voice emerges lower than he intends. Tav laughs, a single exhaled note of contempt. Gortash steels himself and does not move away when they step closer, close enough to share the same breath. “Is that all?”

oh hey, gortash is trans in this!! that's definitely a favorite headcanon of mine. and it's totally for story-based reasons only (he's so transhumanist cmon) and not because i am also transmasc and also have several power-hungry techbro sellout things wrong with me. anyway, the way they talk to each other in this is *so* fun... their dynamic-- and their foreplay and dirty talk (which for a normal couple would perhaps not qualify as dirty talk) is great.

ménage à quatre by isolasea

durge notes: second person (you) with pussy

E / 2.9k words / power dynamics, BDSM, dubious consent / complete

Your Urge and his Hand, on each side of your mind and body, pulling you apart. Or, Gortash: [fucks like a tyrannical despot] Durge: [surprised pikachu meme face]

this fic is so much fun for the d/s power kink stuff and it also has some excellent lines wrt gortash's obsession with control. i mean right at the beginning even, “All murder and no play in the Church of Bhaal?” that and gortash trying to put another finger in durge even while he's fucking them and they're barely taking it as it is-- it's so greedy and so very fitting for him.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #durgetash #enver gortash #cal txt #fandom

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lewis-winters · 1 year

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The whole Web-Nix-Buck thing is very "Recognition Through The Other (Derogatory)" and its great. Also they're all from different schools so that rivalry plays into it, which is funny considering a) Nix couldn't give less of a shit about Stanford, b) Buck's the only one who cares about college football, and c) nobody else watching this can tell the difference anyway. - Nathan

ONCE AGAIN MY FAVORITE RED HEAD YOU ARE SO CORRECT!! it's recognition!! it's self-loathing!! it's competition!!!! it's a study in shame!! not to speculate, but i have a feeling a part of them feels that particular middle class guilt at their upbringing, especially when surrounded by enlisted men who have had to fight tooth and nail for everything that they have!! and these 3 all have it, it's just each one disagreed with how the others managed it or grappled with it in order to either fit in or blend in.

and like. you are ALSO so correct about the schools thing-- it's so funny because they went to college for WILDLY different things and different reasons, and so their contempt for each other being fueled by simple rivalry of ivy leagues (which is largely borne in football and sports-- of which neither web nor nix care about, but buck's whole life is built around) is simply SO FUCKING FUNNY.

Web cares about schooling AND was probably talked into like. legacy enrolments and some such-- he's the type to have gone to harvard because, yeah ok it's prestigious and his parents would have LOVED to brag about it to their friends, but also the course work actually has merit and the curriculum makes the most sense and the job opportunities in the end would be a lot and the chances of getting accepted into academe is high--

meanwhile, buck chose to go to UCLA for the football program + his pre-law, and then later took post grad in Loyola Law and became a really successful lawyer so he clearly chose very carefully!!

MEANWHILE, nix chose yale because. well. his granddaddy went to yale, his daddy went to yale, so i guess he should too? nixon legacy, amirite? even if he didn't want it or want to be associated with it or even if he actually chose to go to yale for any substantial reason. the fact that he maybe didn't go back after the war (idk his wiki page says he was just there for 2 years but of course that's not the best resource) just goes to show how little it actually meant to him.

these 3 went to these big ivy league colleges for varying reasons AND YET the idea of them refusing to admit that they find each other annoying bc they are mirrors of each other that they see their worst traits in, and instead hiding behind the idea of rivalrly between differing ivy league schools all but one of them has any business in caring about in makes me laugh so fucking hard. it is the single most 20-something, middle to rich class, white male bullshit i have ever heard it is SO fucking funny i can't. get your shit together, pls. it's embarrassing for the rest of us!!

#ask #lewis nixon #david webster #buck compton #band of brothers #bob hcs #im very tipsy and had to read thru this 5 times to makes sure it mde sense #hopefully it does #mWAH NATHAN THANK YOU LABYU

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sabaramonds · 1 year

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long time no post CW for discussions of suicide & homophobia ahead as well as mentions of yunos sex work so in my periphery i see a lot of people saying 1. kazui hates yuno and 2. part of the reason why they seem themselves in one another is because kazui represses his sexuality while yuno is open about hers neither of these are true

you can dislike someone without hating them by virtue of being discomforted by the fact they are similar to you (self recognition through the eyes of the other (derogatory)) and. as for yuno being 'open' about her sexuality. well...i would say shes in tune with her own, but she isnt 'open' about it? unless es makes the details of each trial public among the prisoners (excluding the final judgement, of course) or she told people herself, nobody would know she does sex work. and i dont think shes told people, because why would she? what yuno and kazui recognize in each other isnt necessarily related to sexuality at all, but the masks they both wear and cant take off. neither of them can fully shed the facade they hide behind because to do so would result in a social death. they would, for different yet similar reasons, be stigmatized by their families and society at large. yeah, yuno says she comes from a supportive household (and this could be a lie. she could be lying.) but would that be true if her family found out she does sex work for whatever reason? not likely. and kazui has already said his family 'must find [me] embarrassing' upon being asked if theyre proud of him. if they discovered the truth of his sexuality in the aftermath of his wifes death (suicide?) then that would make sense, though if hinako killed herself then it could be theyre unaware of that truth and are ashamed of him for other reasons im a bit unsure about the current political climate re: suicide in japan (im saying this and you guys do not want to see the tabs i have open rn LOL) and how its viewed by the older generation in particular, but its generally tolerated, shamed, or honorable depending on the context. mental health issues are often ignored, particularly by older generations; to commit suicide to right an apparent wrong or repent (one form of which you all might be familiar with is seppuku) is looked at as a moral responsibility in some cases. so um. basically part of what im saying is that if hinako killed herself to escape the social fallout of not only potential divorce but also from having had a gay husband, she would be looked at with pity and empathy while kazui would be, of course, derided and considered a social pariah - if that is what happened and if it came to light. and, well, what do people think would happen if yuno, 18 years old, not even culturally an adult (until 2022, just last year, 20 was not only the traditional age of being considered an adult in japan but also legally - it was only last year that they made it legal to vote and sign up for loans and their own credit stuff without their parents backing them) and shes doing sex work. if it became public knowledge, her family would be devastated. she could get disowned, she could lose her social standing among friends, among other probable issues that could arise so what kazui and yuno see in one another isnt really related to sexuality at all. yuno looks at kazui and sees a man who has spent his whole lifetime hiding himself from not only the world but from his own self and she doesnt want that for herself; kazui looks at her and sees a girl who is hiding her honest self from everyone and in that he sees himself, which isnt helped by the fact she has subtly implied shes well aware of what it is he hides from the world like recognizes like etc. anyway thats all. double in is in like 2 weeks and i wont survive it

#milgram #mukuhara kazui #kashiki yuno #i like putting the prisoners on a petri dish yay #my ramblings

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trans-rites · 3 months

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7, 8, and 16 for the ask game?

7. favourite symbol/motif (example: the car)

god it might be the car. is it basic if its the car. i dont know if i have anything new to say about it, actually, but — the way that beyond a literal symbol of wealth and adulthood, it's literally a vehicle of akio's freedom (and yet, only the freedom to drive the meaningless circles of his endless road).

okay here's a more personal answer: characters with no agency being compared to (or literally turned into) animals. it starts silly with saionji but nanami's bell is harrowing (and also silly, okay). but it's kozue too. i cant hear dona dona without thinking about this.

8. favorite quote

"If it's for someone you love… how you feel about others doesn't matter. You keep lying to yourself for as long as it takes."

anthy himemiya you will always be famous. i get you girl. i get you

16. a character or relationship headcanon you like

anthy and nanami are friends post-canon. i dont know How i just know that it's true and beautiful. get kozue in on that too. weird little sisters club abused animal girls club.

okay for real though i actually do think nanami is the next one out of ohtori at the end of the series. and the idea of her and anthy meeting up and somehow becoming close—self recognition through the other (derogatory) — is. ough. it compels me.

#thanks for the ask!#revolutionary girl utena

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jessaerys · 1 year

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just read in one of you hashtags smth about your thesis being about the 'platonic lover theory'. colour me intrigued <.< could you maybe explain a bit what that entails or which books one should consult to get into the theory? or is it perhaps your own? thanks 😊

thank you the designation #platonic lover theory is my own invention but it’s meant to encapsulate something quite simple really: its when you are friends and chosen family and sometimes enemies but more often partners in crime, it’s when you say “we” and not “i” it's when the lines are so blurred they aren't even there anymore. you may be siblings (literally but most often symbolically) and mother/father/sister/brother/husband/wife /teacher/pupil messiah & worshipper to each other all at the same time though you can take turns depending on what's required of the situation. it’s recognition of the self through the other (holy) and recognition of the self through the other (derogatory). it's when whatever our souls are made of yours and mine are the same but mostly its whatever is deeply wrong with you is also deeply wrong with me. it’s when you are homebase in attachment theory it’s very importantly not exclusive: it’s about experiencing the world with other lovers but always returning to each other because of the bone deep security that u cannot be replaced. it's like when my friend's parents adopted a kitten from a litter and he was close to death and not thriving until they adopted his sister too and he miraculously got better and now all they do is fight. it’s when the feelings are so good u accidentally catch sexual desires but u are also kind of the same person so sex is more like masturbation really. it helps a lot if both of you are gay and opposite genders. hope this helps

#platonic lover theory #inbox.txt #brothercrush.txt

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lesbianpegbar · 11 months

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i love skip tuesdays its always always always me and the mutuals screaming about recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) via this fifteen year old blonde boy. every time

#send help #skip and loafer #mine

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saintarmand · 6 months

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Is armand really that obsessed and in love with lestat like the fandom claims i haven't read the books but i get the feeling that he hates him

the fandom DEFINITELY exaggerates it but it's not at all a baseless claim either. but you're right that he does hate him too lol

obligatory disclaimer i've only read books 1-6 in full (stuck on chapter 2 of merrick still) and seen some out of context quotes from later books

without going into specifics their relationship started by armand fucking over lestat who then fucked him over right back (while also mocking him) and armand kinda lost everything and decided that the person(s) responsible should fix it by becoming his everything. because that's what happened LAST time armand lost everything. and they both realize how much they have in common and they're both attracted to each other but lestat gets Bad Vibes so he says thanks but no thanks. but then later he's like hmm maybe armand freaks me out so much because i actually could love him TOO MUCH. scary... and every time armand falls in love he goes intense obsession mode (which lestat also tends to do ofc) and getting rejected by someone who was clearly tempted made it so the whole thing rears its head again every time armand doesn't have someone else. such as louis who is worth a million atrocities they both know this.

to summarize the Vibe they have a mutual love hate thing going on like they've done awful things to each other but also forgive each other but also don't forget but also care deeply about each other but also find each other so fucking annoying. the love is mutual but bc lestat is repulsed by both their similarities and their differences, he doesn't want to actually spend much time around armand. whereas armand wants lestat as his companion because of those similarities and differences. i saw a post once saying they're basically "recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) and (affectionate)" and i think that's a great way to put it. and they're able to forgive each other to an insane level because they recognize that in the same position they would've done the same thing. to me that's kinda the core of their relationship

but yeah there's a lot of baggage so they just end up fighting every time they meet except sometimes lestat is like omg hi armand hiiiiii 😄🥰 and armand is like omg hi 😳🥰🙄

oh and also armand seems to be the only one consistently willing to acknowledge out loud that lestat is a fucking idiot. but also kinda looks up to him in some ways. and lestat thinks armand is pathetic and a child even though armand is older by several hundred years. basically this:

and lestat is kinda marius's "favorite" (or rather just the one he actually respects) even though armand is the only one he actually kinda "raised" (yuck) and lestat is the one who never fucking does as he's told (probably actually all crucial to the respect thing.) so this also contributes to a deep resentment once armand finds out which is valid as hell like who wouldn't go insane like that's his ex-loverfather (die marius die) and lestat is just some guy marius met and decided to like and trust. but im getting off track

basically as always it's much more complicated than the fandom jokes make it out to be and like almost everything in these damn books it's a fascinating relationship that's very underwritten and has the potential to be explored better in the show...

tl;dr it's like this:

#also sorry for taking so long to answer i lost my sim card after taking it out after my phone ended up in the washing machine #the phone is fine and i got a new sim and then found the old one. it's a whole thing #so i havent been able to get online much in the past few days and also i forgot this post in the drafts as well #lesmand #iwtv #tvc #vampterview #vampyyrit

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nonbinarv · 10 months

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ask game! <3

loop (isat) - 5, 12, 23, 25

ena (ena) - 2, 3, 4, 13

absol (pkmn) - 1, 6, 23, 24

ena

2. the basis for her design is a cool concept :o

3. does the end of temptation stairway count /hj

4. hmm. pokémon bc i have made a team for her before. she would find fun there i think. a strain of joy she recognizes

13. 🎭. yes this is just my ena tag on my kin blog but like am i wrong,

absol

1. i forgot when or how i really ended up attaching to absol in particular but like. the pokédex entries… it just wants to keep people safe but is scorned for it… it's really just the black cat of the pokémon universe and i want to hug it. also i know people call its design edgy but i consider it more majestic than anything ngl. idk i just want it to be happy

6. could use a hug

23. look at its little tail wags… its paw movements… ;w;

24. …hm not sure tbh? design-wise mayyybe joshua twewy. mega absol in particular. it's just the Vibes™

loop (under the cut for spoilers)

5. so technically there's an official playlist for them i haven't listened to yet- but the very first one that comes to mind is sundial by lemon demon thanks to this comic. since that's more of an overall siffrin song than specifically loop though (it's on my kin playlist too which has a lot of songs that overlap for obvious reasons), there's also upside down & inside out by ok go and you are getting a ramble on discord about my logic later tonight owo

12. okay okay hc time. so the thing is siffrins are not very subtle creatures right. so i think that just like odile was suspicious of the time loops before having enough info to really put the pieces together, she'd be suspicious as all hell of loop in a post-canon scenario where they join the family. while they'd still keep their façade up there'd be all these little things that she can and would notice. especially considering her own guilt that she expresses in act 6 for not pushing more to find out what was wrong she would confront them so quickly about it and they would not react well because in addition to pineapples siffrins are also extremely allergic to being vulnerable. also this odile may be a near perfect copy but not quite, not theirs, a complete stranger wearing her face- loop wouldn't go full act 5 but they'd definitely ramp up their playful exterior out of desperation and flee.

odile ends up the first to know (besides siffrin of course) after siffrin is 👀 at them and loop has to experience the other side of self to self therapy momence. self-recognition through the other (derogatory but necessary bc if siffrin has to start opening up to the others then so does loop it's not fair for only one siffrin to). maybe going the 'if you got to tell them about my time loops i get to tell them about this if you don't' type thing but not in like a manipulative or getting back at them way more a 'i know you'll never actually say it otherwise but you do have to come clean eventually' thing if that makes sense. bc how are they supposed to start healing from it if they won't even admit it

she takes it surprisingly well; she'd only push to a certain point (not as necessary to like with siffrin and his wish, the universe isn't breaking over it) and let loop know that while she may not be their odile they're still a part of the family all the same and that she's there for them too not just siffrin. may ramble more @ you later on discord about how i perceive loop's relationships with the rest of the group bc this question has me rotating them in my mind

23. not a favorite emotionally bc they deserve better but also ough. the moment of their old appearance shining through before the battle. and this pic when they talk about their second wish, stuck in it for so long that they just break and want someone to help them, for it all to stop… it's gonna kill me when i get their act 6 stuff. it's the emotional impact of it

25. initially an absolute bastard. not quite hatred but also damn "have you tried not dying?" fuck that y'know. they're still very much bastard but now it's like. i get it sdgfkjhl i can't say anything really. i want to give them a hug because they're just as touch-starved if not even more so. old friend start again siffrin continuing to go through hell, again of their own making…

#answered #ty my angel <3

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