#ive been on the verge of tears for like a week its like when you know youre gonna throw up and you just want to get it over with | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberryspeachy · 8 months

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I cant even wake up in time to go out for a fucking hour

Whatever curse is on me keeps getting worse. I’m so fucking exhausted all the time and every time i get excited for something its taken away or ruined

Its bad enough i dont have anyone and that i cant wake up or stay up for the prime time of going out

Which is why i moved to an area where most of my salary is spent on fucking existing here

But now i cant even wake up for one damn fucking hour of going out

But i wake up fully awake in time to see the clubs are JUST about to close and waste my fucking life away

I hate being me. I want to be dead so fucking bad.

Tell me why. When i put in so much effort and thought and try so hard to make my classes good.

Apparently junior high in private school suck. They know they dont need to do anything to pass right through the system so theyre little fucking dicks about everything

I guess the annoying high school kids at my last school were the ones that were passed on through middle school

And now middle school is the only job i can get for next year. I hate private school junior high

I loved them in public school. But my god. Dealing with kids who refuse to do the bare minimum and even pushing them to try results in them throwing a tantrum bc they always get their way (sitting around doing absolutely nothing while complaining about having to do something they signed up to fucking do)

Ive read this is what american schools have turned into and yeah. Its fucking exhausting. what’s the fucking point. You cant teach anyone

Youre not allowed to just ignore those shit kids - even if you try they disrupt the class. So you cant teach the ones who WANT to learn because you have to teach to the dumbest kid in the class and no matter how low you go they go lower.

What’s the fucking point

Today in the advanced english class which the kids in the class CHOSE to be in - a girl i literally complemented so much last class because she did so well - and to other teachers commented how shes come so far from being super shy and on the verge of tears/crying at the beginning of the year - back to crying today

Crying because i asked her to speak english in the advanced english class that she chose to do saying she thinks ill be mad at her if she makes a mistake WHEN I NEVER GET ANGRY AT STUDENTS. LITERALLY NEVER. Meanwhile her homeroom teachers literally screams at them and guilt trips them all the time. But he’s a man. Even to the kids apparently theyre fine with being screamed at by men. But let me - a woman - tell them to do their work and its a fucking problem

Its so fucking stupid because it sounds like im leaving out half the story. Or that ive spun it to sound better. Or that anything. Like this isn’t the full story. But it fucking is and this kind of shit has me exhausted. I see why teachers are leaving in droves. From reading about the conditions i already understood but my god is it so fucking exhausting.

The class i see 3 times a week. Theyve been a pain in the ass since day one. My other classes teachers always try to steal - not this one. No one likes them. Its like pulling teeth to get them to do shit

Theyve been getting better. Theyve been really good recently. I felt like i finally got them somewhere. They were doing so well. But no. They didn’t improve. Its like a rollarcoaster. I go from the quietest worst at english boys volunteering to go to the front and do an improv skit in english and the whole class actively engaging and having fun

To the next class they act like they cant understand a single word i say. They wont speak and act like theyre being tortured by a simple actively

I dont have the fucking energy. I fully understand those days that my teachers would tell us “if you dont want to try then im not going to either. Just there in silence till the bell rings” as “one of the kids who are trying so im sorry to you but your classmates ruined it for you” having been that kid. I got it then but i really fucking get it now.

Like do you think i enjoy nagging you. Is it really the fun trying to explain something to a kid staring at their friend fully understanding what theyre supposed to do and being entirely capable of it but deciding its more fun to make fun of the teacher in front of their face while pretending you cant understand

And i just have to pretend you really cant understand and keep trying.

Like im not their only english teacher. They have other english classes. Theyve been taught how to read. Theyve learned grammar up to “if you could fly what would you do” “i would…” they fan make sentences and understand at the level of a preschooler. And telling them to talk about a topic that they like - i know they can have conversations in english. Theyve done it many times. Tell them to do it and use their new grammar- cause thats my class - using the fucking shit they’ve learned beyond textbook shit

No all of the third years this week refusing to say anything more than “nice” “yea” “oh really” “i like” “oh mhm”

I’ve always thought school needed reformed. There was no reason that i should have been so stressed out all the time over school. I still believe that. But i know the world deciding to make school a fucking joke where no kid fails. You cant make them do anything. You cant punish them. Its not to make the learning environment better. Its to make a bunch of fucking idiot adults who cant critically think, dont have any working knowledge of the world, have no desire to learn and dont know how to teach themselves, and think that theres no repercussions for their actions so that when someone is unfairly targeted theyll just think “man they must have done something think REALLY bad”

The ones that WANT to learn. That try hard. Theyre honestly so far and few between and theyre punished for it. Why try hard when youre the only one who actually gets graded on your work. You work hard and get a B your classmates does fucking nothing and gets a C then the lazy one does ANYTHING and ya gotta encourage them to keep doing that so they get an A. They suck at school(refuse to try) so they should get rewards for literally anything else so they dont feel bad about themselves

Ridiculous. It sucks that the worlds gonna get stupider. The current school children are gonna be stupider than boomers. And the fact that they have no rules… at least old people to in trouble all the time as kids and were forced to be respectful to others and understand repercussions.

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duckymcdoorknob · 3 years

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hey hey

if its possible could i get an emergency request for haikyuu?? ive been so stressed lately because my adhd (which my parents dont believe) and executive disfunction kept causing me to get distracted all the time and now im loaded with so much work and tests and honestly i feel like im on the verge on the mental breakdown :'( and maybe where the reader is pretty closed off and doesn't show their vulnerable side and tries to mask it with humor

with kuroo or atsumu please

thank you in advance and have a nice day <3

Oh of course you can, love!!

I 100% feel you, so I will do the best I can!

Trust me love, I’m 4 assignments behind in Econ and I still haven’t written my essay that was due a week ago.

Please feel free to talk to me whenever you need me okay??

CW UNDER THE CUT: Implied Verbal Abuse

𝑇𝑒𝑡𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑜 𝐾𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑜

Trying to get you to open up was like trying to penetrate Fort Knox.

Kuroo desperately tried to though.

The day you came into Chemistry, and practically melted onto the lab table beneath the two of you, gave him his initial thought.

‘Something is clearly wrong’

“Hey (Y/N) what’s-“

He peered into your opened planner that was placed your messily thrown belongings.

His breath hitched when he saw the lists upon lists of bulleted assignments and tests you had to worry about.

Kuroo sighed fondly however upon noticing the a doodle of a dog in a Christmas hat.

“Hey” he whispered as the students continued to file in.

“Mm?”

“Will you take notes for me today, (Y/N)? That way, I can work on this.” He finished by grabbing your planner, folder of papers, and a bulky math packet that you were yet to start on.

“Oh? An honor code violation? For widdle ol’ me?”

“Hey nothing’s illegal till you get caught. But please. Let me help you out, you have so much on your plate. I’d be ready to explode at this point.”

“That’s a negative, ghost rider. You gotta focus on class, boss man.”

He chuckled slightly at your witty remark and took out his calculator.

“I don’t have a choice do I?”

“Nope!” He cooed with a beaming smile, glancing at the math packet, “You know how I like my notes, highlights and colors, if you would.”

You released a breath of air in amusement, silently thanking whatever deity was up there (if you atheist idk who you thank LMAO).

After chem, you made your way to a bench in a more lesser known area of the school, ready to make an attempt to study for your tests.

What was supposed to be a relaxing time turned into something awful.

You glanced down to look at your phone to see a deluge of texts and missed calls from your mother.

As it turns out, your teachers had called your mom to tell her about all of your missing assignments and that you were “choosing to not pay attention in class”

The words you read from her were words that a mother should never say to her baby. You were so frustrated that she didn’t believe you, and now your teachers don’t even either.

Thank goodness you were in a secluded area, or else everyone would’ve seen you throw your head in your hands and sob.

But... best friends always seem to know where you are and Kuroo found you. He didn’t even hesitate, dropping his schoolbooks to the floor and wrapping you tightly in his arms.

“You’re okay, love-bug. You’re safe. It’s just me. I’m here for you.” He whispered as he rocked you back in forth in his arms. “Everything is going to be okay, love.”

“I- K-Kuroo- shit I cant-“

“What’s going on? Please tell me.”

“N-no I- I c-can’t. d-don’ wan’ b-bother you.”

“(Y/N) you have to let me help you.” He sounded desperate, as if almost on the verge of tears himself.

“I-“ you sighed through your staggering breath, “J-jus need a m-minute.”

When you’ve cooled off enough to speak, you still found yourself quaking in his grip. Apologizing profusely, you attempt to squirm out of it.

“Hey. Don’t worry about it, take whatever time you need.” He laces his fingers in between your own and squeezes firmly. “I’m here and whatever you need I’ll get it for you.”

“Heh...” you mumble “I need all of my homework and essays to automatically be done so I can focus on studying.”

Kuroo’s eyes sparkled as he smiled brightly “Wait here for me, yeah?” He squeezes your hand and went to his hastily discarded schoolbooks, picking up familiar items...

Your folder and planner.

When he hands them to you, you glance down and become overwhelmed with joy. You immediately set them aside as you wrap your arms around his neck, beginning to cry again.

What had happened?

The numerous assignments had been scratched off down to two, and each empty packet and assignment had the solutions paper clipped to them, so you could fill them in with your own handwriting.

You remembered how Kuroo made you vow to tell him when you need help. You knew he would never be upset to assist you. You just always felt it to be so burdening that you chose not to.

Maybe this time helped to open your eyes.

——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞——————

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sugar-bunii · 3 years

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Adrenaline rush

You and Octane have been going steady for about 4 months now, everything has been perfect so far but something was missing. You’ve always wanted to be sexually intimate with him but he hasn’t been picking up on any of your hints.

First it was asking to shower together but he was too worried about taking off his prosthetics, next it was when you asked him if he wanted to try something new. He got exited but started going on about the new sushi bar that opened. Another time was just you walking into the room in a towel after showering, he quickly covered his eyes and left so you could get dressed.

As clueless as he was you decided to ask him directly once he got home from the arena. 9:47 rolled around and he opened the door excitedly, “Hey, you’re home early what’s up?” You ask him as he settled down next to you on the couch. “We got a flawless victory and the announcer said we deserved to go home early and take a break!” He wrapped his arm over your shoulder and you put your head on his arm. You thought if you were going to ask it might as well be now.

“What’s up with that look on your face, are you thinking about something?” He asked, taking his mask and placing it on the table. “I was just thinking of a way to celebrate this victory of yours.” You strattled him and kicked your leg on the other side of him. “Woah what’s this about?” He said with a smirk. You whispered in his ear “how about we take this to the bedroom?” A look of excitement washed over his face. “I thought you’d never ask!” He said with excitement, picked you up and practically ran to your room.

As he placed you on the bed he switched the playlist you were listening to, “Why’d you do that?” Slightly joking but almost offended. “I’ve got a special playlist I’ve been working on” he states and sticks his tongue out playfully. He puts on a playlist called “bangers” and the first song that plays is The hills by “The Weeknd.”

“Kay, now where we’re we?” You take off your shirt and he does the same, he stares at your topless body for what feels like forever, “wow,,,you look absolutely stunning” you feel a blush come over you due to the unexpected compliment. He began kissing your stomach, slowly moving his way up planting kisses all over your body, your scars, and taking his time with your stretch marks. You can hear him counting with every kiss.

He hovers over your neck, hesitating before resuming with the kisses “67, 68, 69 hehe 69, 70, 71…” he giggles and continues. The kisses started to become more and more passionate, leaving hickeys on your neck “mine, mine, mine” he mumbled as he ventured from your neck, to your jaw, moving to your lips.

As he pressed his lips to yours he moved one of his hands against your cheek and another slowly moving toward your sweatpants, “is it okay if I-“ you cut him off “oh please help yourself” you say as you waste no time getting back to connecting your lips. You place a hand on his chest and break away from the kiss gasping for air.

Octane pressed his forehead against yours as you both pant, “god I love you so much” he says “I love you too” he smiles as starts working his way into your panties and rubbing circles around your clit. The sudden movement sent a feeling of sensation through your body, your heavy breathing triggered something in Octane to start moving his long now dampened fingers faster at an exhilarating speed.

“Let me hear your pretty noises my love” Octane says as he began kissing your neck once more, as you moan in his ear you receive what sounded to be a mix between a growl and a moan from him. “Please~put them in me” you beg, with a slight hesitation Octane slips two fingers into your dripping wet pussy. “God you’re taking me so well, mi amor~ don’t cum yet, we still have a few more rounds to go and I want to make it last” He says with a raspy tone into your ear.

He pulls his fingers out of you as you’re on the verge of your climax, you let out a small simper and Octane seems to have noticed. “Oh what’s the matter baby, did you want me to keep going?” He says tauntingly. Octane slowly moves down your body trailing his hands, wandering almost like they had a mind of their own.

Octane propped himself up as he was hovering above your pelvis, he slid your sweatpants down every so slowly that you thought you would lose your mind if he didn’t hurry up. For being one of the fastest legends he sure did like taking his time with you. “Oh my, you’re soaking wet just because of these little guys” he says licking his fingers clean of your lingering taste. “And you did say I could help myself.” He says with a smirk.

He stood up and pulled something out of the nightstand next to the bed, “I picked this little bugger up last week.” He says sticking his tongue out at you. “You’re really taking your time tonight, aren’t you?” You ask impatiently “I’m exited and I kinda like making you wait.” He stuck out his tongue and opened the package to reveal a vibrating tongue piercing. He replaced the bar in his tongue with the rubber covered piercing and quickly got back to his position.

“Are you going to be able to handle this?” He teases. “It’ll depend on how well you can use it, but we’ll have to wait and see” you say in response. “If you say so” Octane says as he turns on the little bug in his mouth, as soon as the vibrations hit your lower lips your back arches and your hips buck upwards. Octane steadies your hips and pins then to the bed, for having such a small build he’s so much stronger than you’d think.

As he’s slurping up every drop that drips from your pussy the piercing is perfectly hitting your sweet spot. As he focused more on your clit one of his hands teased the surrounding area of your dripping hole. “God your little hole is so pathetic, dripping just from this piercing, let’s see if you can handle three fingers this time. Just tell me if it’s too much for you, okay?” Octane says reassuring you, making sure you feel comfortable. “Okay, I~” you’re cut off by his fingers curling inside you, keeping a steady pace but fast enough to satisfy his constant need for speed.

Steadily Octane began going faster and faster, in and out of your pussy, the noises from all of your juices leaking out with the speed of his fingers. You run your fingers though his hair and your other hand grips the sheets as you teacher your climax. “Octane, oh god, I’m gonna cum” you desperately say, bucking your hips and arching your back more and more. “Good baby, cum in my mouth, you’re doing so good for me”

As you finally reach your climax you thought it would be over from there, but as Octane held your legs down and locked in, you know you would be there for longer than you anticipated. “Oh good girl, but we’re not doing this for your pleasure, we’re doing this for me, it’s so fun to see you squirm and moan just because of me” You could feel your body getting hotter and hotter, the room smelt of sex and “It wasn’t me” by shaggy filled the silence in the room aside from the sound of the piercing in Octane’s mouth buzzing away as he started to ride you over the edge.

As you moaned his name and gripped his hair he would continue to rub your clit and finger your dripping hole, he moaned praises into your pussy and spat on it from time to time. Soon tears started to form in your eyes from the overstimulation, he had been eating you out for what seemed to have been hours but he didn’t seem to have lost any stamina from fingering you as fast as he did.

Octane started to slow down the pace of his fingers, looking up at you. Your body was twitching, tears stained your face, and you let out small whimpers and he finally removed his fingers from your drenched hole and replaced the burnt out piercing with the original bar that was in its place. “You did so good for me, baby. I’m so proud of you.” He said as he grabbed a wet rag from the bathroom. As he cleaned you up he praised you and told you how much you meant to him.

After he got you cleaned up he pulled an oversized shirt from the closet and clean underwear for you to put on. He placed you on the couch, put the bedsheets in the washer, and drew a bubble bath for the both of you.

He picked you up off the couch, undressed you and put you into the bathtub. “Are you gonna join me in here?” You ask with little energy. “Of course my love, I just need to remember if my legs are waterproof or not.” As he takes off his leg he looks at the small writing on the back of them: made for any type of terrain, adventure, and damage. “We’ll be fine”

He removes what little clothing he had left on him and slipped into the bathtub behind you, grabbing the shampoo and washing your hair. For how rough he was a few minutes ago he was quite gentle scrubbing the shampoo into your hair. “I love you mi amor, I really do mean it, you’re my everything and I would do anything to keep you happy” Octane rinsed your hair and planted soft kisses on your neck and shoulders. “I love you too, we should do this more often, Ive been trying to drop hints but I didn’t think you were picking up on any of them.” You respond as you move your hair to make way for his kisses.

“You have? I guess you just have to be more straight forward with me, but if I think you’re dropping hints I’ll ask before I assume.” He says in response rubbing body wash on your shoulders and arms. “Sounds good to me, thank you again, I love you.” You say with a slight hum to your voice. “I love you too y/n”

End

———————————————————————

Thank you for reading!! This is my first fanfic and it took me just about two days to make. Expect more in the future unless I get flagged for inappropriate content.

I may or may not have had to look up if octanes prosthetics were waterproof, but I’d say I like how this turned out!

#octane x reader #fiction #apex fanfic #octavio silva #imagines #apex imagines

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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

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The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?!

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH”

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do.

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home.

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people.

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej?

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?”

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro”

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

“and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?”

they’re so nervous

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right

“Yeah”

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke.

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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marvelgurl · 3 years

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Off-Limits: Part 7

Characters: Tom Holland X Reader Osterfield (eventually), Harrison Osterfield

Word Count: 3270

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff,

A/n: This is Part 7 of the Off-Limits series. I am going to start off by saying I am not a dancer, in any way, shape or from. That being said if the dance part of this fic doesn’t make sense I’m sorry, I did try my best to make it make sense. What I can say is that I love music, I am very passionate about it as well. Hopefully that will make up for the “dance” writing. (probably not though)

I used choreography from this video (not all of it but small bits)

Song: Inner Demons By Julia Brennan

Tags are Open for this series.

As always Feedback is always welcome. Good and Bad, it really does helps me.

Also Sorry for the super late upload. I hopefully will have part 8 uploaded on time.

Tumblr Masterlist Series Masterlist

“Tom…”

You looked around for him, but all you saw was your mother sleeping in a chair next to your bed. You could have sworn you heard his voice.

Great I’m hearing things. You let out a sigh as you thought to yourself.

You closed your eyes, throwing your head back onto your pillow. You brought your hand up to your face, as you tried to rub it across your face you realized that it was harder than it should be. You opened your eyes to see your hand was wrapped in gauze. You couldn’t remember what had happened. You started freaking out a little bit. The machine that was next to you started beeping loudly, which wasn’t helping you at all. You covered your ears as best as you could.

Your mother woke up to the noise, she looked over to see you grabbing your head. She came over to you, she put her hands on the sides of your face.

“Y/n, honey you need to calm down.”

The door opened, nurses and a doctor came rushing in. They were moving around checking everything. One of the nurses put something into your IV. You opened your eyes to see your mother looking at you, you focused on her and slowly your heart slows back to a normal rate.

“Mom…” You felt like a child again, tears welling up in your eyes. You grabbed her arm to pull her closer, she just held onto you.

Harrison and Tom came running through the door. They had seen the nurses and doctor run into your room. They were prepared for the worst. Once they saw that you were awake a sigh of relief washed over them. Harrison came up next to your mother and hugged the both of you. After a few moments you all let go, tears were threatening to fall from all of your eyes.

You looked up to see Tom standing close to the door. You made eye contact with him, only to realize he was on the verge of crying as well. Then you started thinking about what you had heard. Did he actually say those things or was it all in your head? What about Nadia? You quickly looked away from him once your doctor started speaking.

“Well, not exactly how I thought you would wake up, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are glad your awake.” Everyone agreed.

“You just about gave me a heart attack Y/n.” Harrison gently pushed your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I woke up to…” You stopped yourself, you looked towards the door at Tom and back down again. “I can’t remember what happened. I saw my hand all wrapped up and I just freaked.”

Tom couldn’t help but think that you had heard everything that he had said. He really hopes that you did because he meant every single word. Now he just needed to figure out whether or not you would even allow him to come back into your life.

“Y/n, there are somethings I would like to discuss with you.” Your doctor looked around at your family and Tom. “Is it okay to speak with everyone in this room?”

You looked over to Tom. He was about to leave when you spoke up.

“Ye… Yes.” You had a feeling you knew what this was about. It was time for it to come out. It’s time for the truth to come out.

“Okay.”

The doctor had Tom move over to where Harrison was, so that it was easier. He went over to his computer. Pulling up your file, before turning back to the four of you.

“You came in about a month ago for a checkup, all of your levels were where they should be. Yesterday we did some blood tests when you first came in, now they are way below where that should be. You are severely malnourished. I am also positive if I were to have you stand on a scale you would have lost quite a bit of weight. Not to mention the damage to your liver, from the alcohol.”

You had put your head down when he was talking to you. You could feel everyone was staring at you. You let out a shaky breath and you brought your legs up to you. You were trying to make yourself as small as possible. You could feel yourself starting to retreat. Trying to get away from this, but now it was time to talk.

“I lost myself.” You looked over to your mother, Harrison, Tom before looking back at your hands. “I haven’t been eating very much, some days not at all. I sleep too little or too much, not finding joy in the things I used too. I definitely not talking about my feelings when I should have.”

“Y/n.” Harrison put his hand on your shoulder. You didn’t look up, you just kept talking.

“I let my mental health deteriorate and it took a massive toll on me physically as well. I was starting to slowly pick myself the fuck up. That was until yesterday. I saw Luke and it all just started coming back.”

“Why didn’t you talk to someone?”

“I couldn’t. Not with how things were. I was trying to do it by myself. I’m sorry.”

Your doctor started talking to you about treatments and he strongly suggested that therapy would be helpful. He wanted to keep you for a couple of days, to make sure that you stay on the right path. He left you with your family and Tom for a while. He had other patients to go see but he would be coming back to check on you.

You called your boss to let her know that you couldn’t come into work for a few days. You let her know what had happened. She was more than understanding, she was happy that you were okay. She told you to take as much time as you need.

After you got off the phone with her, everyone sat there in silence. They were in shock and didn’t know what to say. Your mother had to go to work, she hugged you for a little while then kissed you on the top of the head. Tom got up to take her home, but Harrison stopped him once again. He whispered something to him before leaving with your mother.

“Y/n...”

You looked up to see him getting up to move closer to you. He stopped just before getting to your bed. He was looking down at his hands.

“Tom…” He looked to you. “I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“Were you talking to me when I was out? I heard your voice, but I don’t know if it was really you or just my brain trying to mess with me.”

“Your brain wasn’t messing with you darling.” He moved a chair to sit right next to your bed. Once he was sitting down, he grabbed ahold of your hand. “I was talking to you. I don’t know how much you heard of what I had said, but I can tell you that everything I said was completely true.”

“Damn It Tom!” You took your hand back. “You can’t say things like that, you have a girlfriend.”

“No, I don’t.” He leaned back in his chair.

“What? What happened to Nadia?”

“We broke up the day after I helped you home from the pub. I was just so focused on you all the time. Like I said earlier I fell in Love with you a long time ago. That wasn’t fair to her, and I couldn’t do that to her. We talked about it for a while, and we decided to break-up.”

“Tom… I can’t do this.” You could see tears welling up in his eyes, and you could feel them in your eyes too. “I love you, but I need to figure things out. I need to get back to myself before I bring someone into this. It wouldn’t be fair to you at all.”

“Darling I understand.” He grabbed your hand again. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to lose you again. Not in my life or…” You squeezed his hand.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

You pulled on his arm to get him to stand up, you pulled him into a hug. You just held onto him. Eventually you let go, but just to move over. Tom laid down, pulling him into you. The two of you just stayed there long enough to fall asleep.

With the amount of damage, you had done to your body, you had to stay in the hospital for a week. You had a fair amount of visitors while you were there. Your boss came to visit you a few times, some of your coworkers came to see you as well. Your favorite visitors were the Holland boys. They were there the most. You hated that they had to see you like this, but you were happy to see them.

There were times that you were alone. Those were the worst moments; you hated the quiet. You could only watch so much television. You were going stir crazy by day three, but you knew that there was no way they were going to let you go home. You were able to talk your doctor into letting you go home at the week mark. He only allowed it if you had someone at home to help you and make sure you are staying on track. Harrison was more than happy to stay with you.

Harrison and Tom came to get you from the hospital. When you got to your flat, you were hesitant to even walk in. From what Harrison told you about that night, you didn’t know what to expect. The boys saw your hesitation.

“Y/n, Its okay. We are here for whatever happens.” Harrison put his arm over your shoulders before pushing open your door.

“okay…”

You slowly walked into your flat. Making your way through, there was an uneasy feeling coming over you. especially when you got closer to your bedroom. You stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath before turning the knob and pushing it open. When you flipped the light on you were expecting the worst, but to your surprise it looked like nothing was out of place.

You looked at the dresser and you saw a different lamp, a new jewelry stand and a new bottle of your favorite perfume. You also saw scratch marks in the wood, you slowly traced along them with your finger. Your memory of that night started coming back, it looked like someone had cleaned everything up as well. The glass and the blood were gone. You started feeling the bubble slowly coming back. You stopped and just started breathing. It calmed you down enough to keep going,

You looked over to your bed where you had left the photos, but they weren’t where you left them. Instead, they were made into a collage. When you got closer, you saw some other photos, and notes in there too. Photos you remember throwing away when you were upset. You climbed onto your bed, taking it off the wall. You sat down and just stared at it, there were some photos in the collage that weren’t even in your box.

You saw the notes were from friends and family. Your heart was so full of happiness that once again you started crying. You can’t believe that someone would do this for you. you pulled the frame close to you, you just hugged it.

You didn’t notice was the boys standing in the doorway watching you. They were both smiling. Tom wanted to make you feel more comfortable when you were able to come back home. He talked to Harrison about it, then they put his plan in motion. Harrison was the one who cleaned up the blood and replaced the things on your dresser. Tom reached out to some of your friends and asked them to write notes to you. He also searched through a bunch of photos to find the right ones. He made sure to leave space around the edge for you to add more in if you would like. He was just so happy that you liked it.

You look up to see the boys, then set the frame down on to your bed. You got up and walked over to them, pulling them into a hug.

“Thank you.”

You guys spent the rest of the night talking and watching movies. It was like old times; you were glad to have them in your life again. You didn’t want this to go away. You were fighting to stay awake, instinctively you curled into Tom’s side.

“I think it’s time for someone to go to bed.” You felt a small chuckle go through him.

“No, I’m awake. I’m just resting my eyes for a second.” You could hear Harrison laughing too.

“Oh, is that what it’s called. What about the snoring?”

“Warming up my vocal cords?”

“Alright. Let’s go.” Tom stood up, grabbed your hands to pull you up. You let out a groan in protest.

“Tom, I want to stay out here.” You looked up at him trying to give him puppy dog eyes and you pursed out your lower lip ever so slightly.

“That’s not fair darling.” He looked over to Harrison. “A little help here mate.”

“Nope, I am staying out of this one.” Harrison put his hands up. He just smiled at the two of you.

“Fine, you win.” He let go of your hands, but he moved to a different seat. He just gave you a smirk.

“Rude.” You keep eye contact with as you moved over to Harrison and placed your head on his shoulder. “I guess us Osterfield’s need to stick together.”

“Y/n, you really should go to bed.” Harrison looked down at you.

“I guess I am a little tired.” You stood up sending Tom a smirk before walking to a closet and pulled pillows and blankets out for the boys. You placed a set on the couch next to Harrison and placed the second on Tom’s lap.

“Goodnight boys.” You walked to your room, closing the door behind you. Tom was right you needed to sleep. You were exhausted, it seemed like as soon as your head hit the pillow you were out.

Tom and Harrison just watched as you went to your room.

“Ugh. Your sister is going to be the death of me.” He just threw his head back.

Harrison just laughed at him. “Come on mate, just get some sleep.

After a couple of days, you decided to go to the studio. You needed to clear your head. Your boss had given you a key, so you could work on your solo piece. You don’t know how much you would accomplish tonight but you still needed to try.

Harrison and Tom tagged along. They wanted to make sure you got there safe. They also just wanted to hang out with you. After getting inside the building, you lock the door behind you guys. You didn’t need to turn on the lights, there were emergency lights along the hall. They were spaced out enough that it lit the whole thing up.

You went to the changing room, quickly changing into the clothes you had in your locker. You walked to the main studio and flipped on a few lights, before heading to the control booth. The guys just sat along the wall; they didn’t want to disturb you too much. Turning on the system and plugging in your phone. You still haven’t picked a song, which is the worst. That should have been the first thing, but nothing was sticking out to you. You decided to just let your music play, hopefully something would just come to you.

You walked out to the center of the studio and just laid down, laying your arms out to the side. Half of your body was in the light and the other half was in the shadows. You closed your eyes, breathing in and out, just listening to the music. You were trying to feel every beat. You wanted the music to do all the moving for you. You wanted to let go of all the control you had and just be in the moment.

The boys started recording you. This was the first time in a while that they saw you dance. They watched you closely to see what you were going to do next.

Slowly you began to move, you kept your eyes closed the whole time. As you sat up you kept your head back and slowly rolled it around till it was faced down. Your hair fell down off your head and surrounded your face. Letting your arms drag behind you, while pulling your legs in, making yourself sit Criss-cross. Your hands moved to cradle your head; you moved your head from side to side. Taking your right hand, moving it across your body to your left knee, pulling it up. Quickly letting go, you move your right hand behind you to prop yourself up. Then swinging your right leg around, causing you to pull yourself up slightly. Your body ended up in the dark part of the studio. Your right foot was now flat on the floor, causing your leg to be in a 90-degree angle, while your left knee was on the ground.

You put your elbow onto your knee and your chin into your hand, before throwing your head back. You bring your arms around to brace yourself, as you move your body to the ground. Once you hit the ground your left hand is extended out above your head, while the right is keeping you propped slightly off the floor. You move your legs up slowly so that you are almost in the fetal position, but before your legs could even hit your stomach you threw them out.

Moving onto your back. You planted your feet on the ground, lifting up your pelvis, while your hand grabbed at your shirt like multiple people were trying to pick you up by your shirt. Then you dropped your pelvis back down and lifted up your torso up and down, almost like you were doing half sit-ups.

You worked through the rest of the song. Just letting your body do everything.

You could hear the music coming to an end, quickly you ran over to the booth. You grabbed your phone and paused it, it had two seconds left in the song. You were just staring down at your phone out of breath. Your hand came up to cover your mouth, you could feel yourself getting emotional again. You backed up to the wall and sank down. You pulled your knees to your chest and buried your face in them, your arms just wrapped around your legs to hold them in place.

The boys came running after you. when they say you on the ground, they were worried that you were going to have another anxiety attack. Harrison kneeled down in front of you, he placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see his concerned face. You smiled at him and placed one of your hands on top of his.

You sat there for a little while, eventually you just felt emotionally drained. You got up and took your phone, turned everything off. You went and changed again, then you left.

Off-Limits Tag list: OPEN!

@aidinniram

@houseofflufff

@justafangirlduh

@shrutipatel08

@thevelvetseries

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oh-for-fic-sake · 5 years

Text

The Ground Rules

Geralt lays down the law with the help of yennefer after catching the reader haveing a bit of me time in the bath.

Masterlist

Ok this took all day as i couldnt stop tweaking it and i got to the point iv just got to step back and throw it out there or im gonna scream.Any way this is to go along with pastry negotiations its based after that one so could be considered part two? can be read stand alone tho in all honesty these modern reader inserts are gonna jump about in timeline cos my plot bunnys are twats. Im basing my Ciri on a mix of mature netflix Ciri and slightly mischievous witcher 3 Ciri. Any way i hope you enjoy this one im pretty pleased with it xx

WARNING: Adult Themes, Smut, DubCon Swearing MxFxF 18+

Dont like it dont read it.

Geralt snaps when you take matters into your own hands.

The Ground Rules

"Well someone is excited" Jaskier drolled as he watched your form slowly creating distance between you as you marched ahead.

As the small rickety town came into veiw you cried out a victorious and dramatic "still alive" causing eye rolls and chuckles in the group. Honestly this was the first real town you'd come to since being here and you were thrilled. Sure you'd passed a tiny smattering of houses four or so days ago where you'd traded for some bread, tiny amount of dried meat and a few other essentials oh! and yenn had managed to replace your pastry to the amusment of the resident witcher. They'd both been more open with you since the whole pastry incident-which you thought was an off handed comment on yennefers part but she and geralt had since indicated otherwise.

The people in the village had mentioned of a near by town that was rumoured to have a contract out on a nest of some monster thingamajigs that you hadn't botherd to remeber the name of .You looked down the verge towards the town with immediate thoughts of eat, bathe and sleep- on a bed, a real fucking bed ,ok so it wont be a temper mattress but you could live with that-oh my fucking god hot water,a nice loooong soak you moaned in your throat the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. You walked ahead trying to usher the group.

And maybe you could have your own room. Honestly sharing a bed with the couple was becoming an issue for you,your crush on them was definatly getting out of control now constantly blushing under their heated glances and they are becoming more touchy feely, Hands lingering longer than nesscasary or leaning in so close so thier breath tickled the hairs on your neck basically doing anything to get you flustered and you swear to god yesterday yennefer copped a feel whilst helping you threw a small steam which you didn't need help with;not that she listened. Bottom line you were becoming sexualy frustrated pretty much staying in a constant state of arousal a night away from them to take care of business would be very much appreciated.

"Come ooooonnnn guys keep up" you turned looking back at them drawing out your whine befor resuming towards the town

"Someone should catch up with her she looks like a girl on a mission" Yennefer commented

"Yes. Ciri would you keep her near the main gate and out of trouble while we settle roach in the stables ,here take her this she should cover up befor anyone gets any ideas" geralt grunted as your form began to dissapear down the brow of the hill ,ciri looked between the two before shrugging grabbing his offered cloak then ran to catch up with you.

You glanced to the side as you heard footsteps noticing Ciri fall in step with you she held out his cloak.

"Here geralt said to cover up before people get any ideas" you sighed it wasnt your fault his shirt hung off of you showing a large amount of shoulder and chest luckily when the hoover portal of doom sucked you in you were in fleece lined black leggings that had been durable enough to survive the last 3 weeks on the road(your stitch t shirt hadn't survived your initial fall) because you doubt he'd have anything your hips would get in to. Rolling your eyes you pulled the heavy fabric across your shoulders repostioning it so that it wasnt draging on the floor to much but was still sheilding your body.

"He's such a dad" Ciri giggled nodding in agreement befor reciting what esle geralt had requested ordered. You scoffed shaking your head

"So he doesnt even trust me to walk through a town, he does realise im an adult right? That i can do things with out causing trouble. i mean for god sake im not jaskier" she snorted

"I think its more like he doesnt want other men trying to sleep with you" you did a double take

"The hell you know about that sort of shit? has Jaskier been corrupting you?"

A knowing smirk crossed her face as she held her hands up coming to a halt facing you just inside the wooden gates of the town.

"You think i havent noticed whats going on by myself, Geralt likes you so does yenn jaskiers noticed to, think he's going to write a song"

"He better bloody not and anyway maybe i want to find a companion for the night." You announced tersely crossing your arms only to freeze as you heard a growl from behind you.

"Oh yes, i may have forgot to mention that witchers are senses are really sensetive" she smiled sweetly, you gaped why were you only being told this now. Looking between her and the others approaching.

"Wh-what how the fuck you leave that out? d-do you think he heard us? from back there" She nodded

"Most definitely" you gulped feeling yourself shrink into Geralts cloak a little at the looks you received from Geralt and Yennefer as he spoke to her telling her what youd just said.oh fuck.

"when you say senses you mean all of 'em? Not just one or two?" hoping beyond hope that something had been lost in translation.

"Nope all of them sight, smell, hearing the whole lot" she replied watching the colour drain from your horror sticken face. You'd been getting wet over the past few days. And the realisation that he probably knew embarrassed the shit out of you. Geralt smirked obviously he heard.You were so fucked.he knew and if he knew then she knew.oh my god. You were sooo fucked.'whelp there goes my dignity' you thought. He strode past you to the mediocre stables with roach in toe ready to hitch her for the night.Jaskier and yenn followed pulling some of the bags off of the horse then passing them out to their respective owners. Geralt then stood before you all giving you all the 'game plan' as you call it.

"we will find an inn and eat after that you get settled in for the night whist i see about this contract."

"don't bother about me tonight im going to catch myself a young fair maiden for the night" you scoffed at Jaskier's announcement drawing his attention

"Sounding like a creeper there Jask, what? you gonna do throw a net in the tavern? don't think they'd take to kindly to that" he huffed through his nose aggravated.

"No im going to sing in the tavern and lure a beauty to my side for the night" you played along widening your eyes in false realization

"oohh so your gonna go pay for it, how does it work exactly is it by hour or-" Geralt quickly intervened covering your mouth one to stop the inevitable spat and two before you could corrupt Ciri any further Jaskier deadpanned giving you a flat look.

"you're welcome to come find out for yourself im sure your just Itching to get some relief-"

"JASKIER! you go ahead at least try to keep a bit of coin back this time" Jaskier 1 Y/n 0.

You glowered behind Geralt's hand as he dismissed the smirking bard who turned on his heel prancing off quite pleased with himself. You smacked Geralt's hand away wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly making your way down the street into town.It had taken nearly half an hour to find a decent inn that had room for the four of you. A room with two double beds that had a heavy curtain to split the room into two it was usually rented by traveling families. You groaned as you walked in, now you really couldn't take care of business, you followed Ciri as she placed her bag on the bed on the left following suit you placed yours on the other half of it only to have Yennefer quickly relocated it to her side of the other bed. Ciri snorted giving you a knowing look.you sighed then stomped across the room. Knowing all to well that it was futile to argue with the sorceress ,the witcher was stubborn but she was something else. Geralt handed a small pouch of coin to Yennefer.

"This is for the new clothes Ciri needs a thicker cloak preferably fur lined maybe new boots to not sure how long those will last in the mountains." yennefer hummed as she pocketed the money.

"And the clothes for Y/n as well?"

"Yes, should be enough there for what we discussed if not i'v got a bit more saved" you raised your brows blinking at them.

"err what was discussed? guys? what did you talk about? was it about me? helloooo" you waved as they ignored you.Yennefer pulled off her cloak leaving it on her side of the bed. you and Ciri followed their lead only for Geralt the tug yours back across you giving a sharp look as you rolled your eyes.The group made its way down into the quiet main room of the family run inn where you were served a meal of roast beef with vegetable trimmings ,before you knew it Geralt had left to find out about the contract with a final 'Behave' thrown in your direction.To which you grunted in response,too full to even tell him to 'jog on' - a phrase that still frustrated the witcher as he didn't know the meaning-. Yennefer had asked for a bath before your meal which you were just informed was ready leaving you alone with the sorceress. You had all decided Ciri would have the bath first then you, yennefer and finally geralt if he was back before it got cold.

"I cant breath" yennefer laughed out loud you rubbed your tummy closing your eyes

"I mean honestly, I think theres food in my lungs" groaning leaning back against the chair she gave a sympathetic smile

"Well you did inhale your food, maybe next time take it easy."

"Can you blame me, been the first meat iv recognized since i got here" It was true so far you'd been living on meats that you wouldn't have necessarily chose to eat back home rabbit,mutton venison ect.

"After we've bathed we will rest for the day but tomorrow we have to run over to the seamstress and get your new clothes, not sure how long we will be here and might have to order some or have them taken up,you are a little thing.Might have to have some leather work done too." you squinted pointing an accusing finger at her

"You calling me a midget? we going for shots now are we?" she smiled sheepishly

"No .no shots?. i just meant your petite don't worry its very cute. Anyway we are only picking up the basics a few day dresses ,Riding clothes boots that sort of thing" you blinked owlishly flushing as she called you cute.

"Riding clothes yes. Dresses no thank you" she stared unblinking at you for a few moments making you squirm at the calm expectant gaze that was getting heavier by the second, it was like the eyes of a mother when you'd been caught doing some dumb shit you knew you shouldn't be doing.

"Stop it....Yenn no... cant i just get something like Geralt has..please... i'd be much more comfortable...even Jaskier i mean im not one for the puffy bits but 'd make do....."

she blinked slowly

"Oh fine but only one or two no more and your not getting rid of these leggings either" you gave in, her gaze was to unnerving and it did things to you. Her face lit up. She was looking forward to seeing you in feminine gown instead of a her and Geralt's shirts not that she minded but it'd be a nice change to your strange stetchy leggings (not that she minded you in the form fitting bottoms) She moved leaning in to your side hand on your thigh patting it lightly.

"Thank you, don't be so worried i will take good care of everything" you gulped as you felt the flushed skin of your face grow hotter,your core clenching and warming at her sultry reply you closed your eyes trying to regain a bit of control. Suddenly her attention was drawn to a pink skinned Ciri who had finished her bath and changed Yenn nodded and released your thigh. You bolted upstairs hearing a chuckle as you did.

Once in the room you sighed in relief, making your way towards the screened off section that held a large oval tub full of steaming water. Discarding your clothes as you all but melted into the hot water.You submerged yourself getting your hair wet scratching tentatively at your scalp that had begun to ache under the grime. Spotting a small stool with what you'd consider toiletries, a bar of hard sweet smelling soap and a few vials.You grabbed the soap, opting for using it for your hair as well unsure what vials did what and went where.After scrubbing all the built up sweat and dirt you you closed your eyes lounging back against the slanted end tub you relaxed a few moments it wasn't long before you were feeling much better ,tired muscles succumbing to the soothing hot water.your body hummed. 'no one would have to know' as your summarized that this was the perfect opportunity to relieve yourself of other tensions,

'its not like geralt could smell you under water, i mean i dont think dogs can thats why criminals cross rivers when their being hunted on tv isn't it?' biting your lip you peaked an eye open and listened out carefully feeling naughty when you began moving your hand to the apex of your thighs gasping as your finger ghosted over your hardened bundle of nerves .Fuck. Your clit was sensitive not surprising when Geralt and Yennefer had practically edged you for nearly a week. You whined quietly as you began a fast rhythm on your clit ,other hand slinking down to your opening rubbing your fingers up and down the warm weeping hole. You bit off a groan as your hips gyrated against your roaming hands. Stomach tensing as you drove yourself faster and faster to the edge.Almost there.Fuck almost-you jumped hissing 'shit' ,ripping your hands away from yourself , sitting up fast enough to make your head spin splashing a wave of water over the floor when you heard the door open slamming the wall beside it.

"err theres some one in here!" you called out loudly, angry at who ever just interrupted you.You got nervous as the heavy steps quickly made their way towards you.Realizing who ever it was didn't care for your modesty as they were coming your way you slung your top half out of the tub to grasp the towel screaming because before you could grasp it and cover yourself a large calloused hand enveloped your shoulder shoving you back into the water.

"WH-GERALT THE FUCK? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME." you shouted at him as he released you then you looked down slapping your hands down to cover your self as he raised his eyebrows and gave a lop sided grin.He defiantly looked like the big bad wolf in that moment eyes ablaze with a hunger you wasn't sure you wanted to explore or not. Collecting yourself swallowing dryly before scolding him in a voice that seemed to become smaller with each word.

"hey! get the fuck out im trying to bathe you prick" you heard the door open and close again in a less violent fashion. And suprize suprize yennefer glided into view behind the .

"Thats not all you were doing tho was it? i can fucking smell you" was growled at you as geralt wet his lips you squeaked.

"huh? b-but.. i thought..w-water" you stuttered out as your brain malfunctioned on on an epic scale. Yennefer gave out a loud laugh.

"so thats why he tore threw the inn like that.honestly Geralt i thought something was wrong" she continued laughing as she replayed the way geralt had all but vaulted the tables to get to the stairs. you pouted throughly humiliated

"something is wrong" he ground out before kneeling beside you .Shifting you tired to create some distance from him. He was having none of that wasting no time thrusting his hands into the water tugging away your shielding hand the other forcing its way between your legs. You slammed back against the tub gasping trying to get away. All you'd achieved was his hand pinning your hips to the back of the bath by your pussy

"GERALT WHA-"

"Lets lay down some ground rules" He squeezed your throbbing heat in his hand curling his fingers dangerously close to your opening you bucked moaning breathlessly .Your eyes searched Yennefer's for help but she wore a similar hungry look that he had. Another slow squeeze brought your attention back to the brooding alpha male in the room.

"This is ours.ours to lick,suck and fuck as we see fit, to do what we please with and is off limits to your wandering little hands we clear on that?" You groaned out as he emphasized certain words with teasing brushes of fingers and a slow rub of his palm. Realizing that he might actually be serious.You nodded quickly babbling as he rocked his hand back and forth igniting the heat that you had built alone.

"C-crystal-please Geralt PLease" You threw your head back as his hand moved deliberate and teasing.

"You think you deserve it? after being caught up here playing with yourself?" You nodded then shook your head confused, unable to really concentrate on anything apart from his magnificent hand ,half lidded eyes and clenching your fingers tight around the thumb he was using it to control your movements as your body whithered under his ministrations.

"Really?" He said smirking as he held completely still you sucked through your teeth biting back curses.He chuckled smug bastard. moving trying to get some friction to no avail.

"Well we have been teasing the poor thing ,of course shes going to try sorting herself out the first chance she gets .Honestly Geralt what did you expect? i did tell you" yennefer reasoned as she stood behind you combing threw your wet hair you before grasping your free hand pulling it up out of the way kissing your palm before ghosting her nose down your neck pressing soft kisses along it you mewled at her and tried to coax geralt to continue again by rolling your hips.

"I suppose we could let her off this time" His voice was pure sex as he glanced down before giving into pushing two thick fingers up into you. his breach of your walls had an initial sting but was incredible as your needy walls tried sucking him deeper greedy to be filled.

"oh-oh fuck Ger-please" you arched your back pushing down onto his hand clutching onto Yennefer's wrist. you were so hot .fuck.he was gonna make you cum too quick. You panted throwing your head side to side as your legs tensed then raised up towards your torso, your pussy wrapped tight around Geralts fingers as he held them deep every few thrusts making you feel just how your walls rippled around him. he alternated between fast and shallow then slow and deep trying to build you up slowly he wasn't going to rush you, he was skilled enough to walk you up to the edge and throw you off whenever he damn well pleased. You'd never been this desperate in your life . Yenn's cool fingers delicately teased out your nipples pinching and flicking them until they stood out provocatively. You rocked against the both of them as Geralt made sure to start dragging your clit up and down with his palm as he finger fucked you curling his fingers searching for that small spot that'd send your mind reeling. Yenn had leaned down kissing your cheek and begun whispering lowly into your ear.

"He knows what he's doing doesn't he?Iit wont take him long to find every single spot you have, thats the thing with bedding a witcher they are much more observant then regular men. I have no doubt he will know when your going to orgasm before you do.He has the ability to force them out of nowhere when ever he pleases.. He is quite cruel like that" you moaned out loud snapping your head back high pitched and vulgar sounds tore from your throat as Geralts invading fingers began rubbing furiously back and forth on a soft spot inside of you.Unable to control yourself as your legs and tummy spasmed erratically as your tearfull moans and pleas filled the room

"Thats it oh i think iv found it~" he boasted as he moved his elbow pinning a knee to the side of the tub leaving your clit cruelly exposed for Yennefer,they shared a look as she moved her hand down to join Geralts taking over to rub small firm circles on your exposed clit.

"oh-OH fuck noNOno i cant please i ca-UGh to-Too much please FUCK" Yennefer was quick to swallow your moans in a kiss of clashing teeth and tongues before any one could hear ,tears streamed down your face as your body ached your pussy contracting painfully around his swiping digits. Pulling back for air the sorceress placed open mouthed kisses over your shoulders leaving red marks with her teeth and sucking bites.

"Good girl your being sooo good you don't have to ask this time" she praised as she reached your ear befor sucking harshly below your jaw. you were quickly becoming putty in their hands Geralt growled as he picked up the begining tremors of your orgasm.

"Look at me" you obeyed instantly moaning as you watched the white wolf pull his lip up in a snarl that would have scared you any other time.

"This is what you were made for, your ours, we own you, mind body and soul we own every whimper ,every tear ,every orgasm and hole they are ours for the taking when ever we choose,from now only ecstasy you will know is what we give you" You'd never have guessed how filthy his mouth could be but it seemed to have the desired effect as a sudden rush of heat was your only warning before rearing up screaming out, not sure if you'd shut your eyes or blacked out for a moment as you gushed into the bath water.Geralt pressed into you persistent while Yennefer's hand continued the tight circles efficiently drawing out the best orgasm your ever had.Finally their movements ceased and your body went limp wracked trembling in the aftermath as your orgasm ebbed away slowly. After giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath Geralt removed his fingers you whimpered inside's still so sensitive after your orgasm, sucking on them he moaned deep and feral before plucking your clenched fingers off his thumb. Yennefer quickly wiped your pussy gently clearing the cum from between your swollen lips. Making you twitched as the cloth ran over you.Pulling you from the bath was a joint effort as they rested you on the bed and began patting you dry with the towel.Moaning in protest as your arms waved loosely trying to take over only having your hand smacked away as they finished.Lying back looking up at them bleary eyed trying to stay awake you felt like jelly, giving up fighting you rolled over yawning tucking your arms below your head Yennefer tilted her head stroking your hair sending you into a relaxed sleep.

"Poor dear ,Oh look at her geralt shes all fucked out and we haven't even fucked her yet"

"hmm she'll be ok we just need to work on her stamina" he replied patting your bottom as he pulled the cover over your washed out form.Geralt panicked

"Shit wheres Ciri?"

"well when you came charging in down stairs i told her to go find Jaskier and stay there until one of us came to get her" Yennefer said with a sly grin he shook his head and scooped her up kissing her passionately. As he took a few steps to the now vacant bath

"well the bath is still warm care to join me?"

"with pleasure lets try not to wake her tho"

See you soon xxx

#geralt x yennefer x you #geralt x modern reader #geralt x yennefer #geralt x y/n #geralt of rivia #geralt smut #witcher fanfiction #witcher imagine #witcher fic #witcher smut #geralt x yennefer x reader

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babysizedfics · 4 years

Note

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

#little/big concepts #illness tw #vomit tw #food mention #long post #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

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katsukibby · 4 years

Text

flick

bakugou katsuki x reader (extraordinary you au)

summary: bakugou and midoriya are the main love interests for a romance manga and ochako is the main girl. (spoiler: she chooses deku) what happens when y/n, an extra, becomes self-aware that she’s nothing but a side character to help develop their relationships?”

!unedited!

*flick*

wait a minute. wasn’t i just talking to jirou? why am i in the cafeteria now?

“ah! y/n! youre here! ive been looking for you!”

“huh? jirou? what are you…weren’t we just in the classroom?” She looked at me as if I was crazy.

“what do you mean? its finally time for lunch! did you hit your head at training or something?”

“training? what? but- we were still in class just now.”

*flick*

i jerked back up as if i had just woken up. but i hadn’t. we haven’t even eaten yet. so.…why was the school day finished?

“y/n!! there you are! you seem to be harder to find than usual today!”

“jirou…did you hear that? and what about lunch?”

“lunch? its time to head back to the dorms. now that you mention it, i wonder what we’re having for dinner tonight!”

*flick*

“alright. l/n. get ready to spar with bakugou. i’m too tired to watch this so i’m gonna go ahead and nap. everyone else can judge today.”

“wait- aizawa-sensai!”

“tch. damn extra. hurry uP AND FIGHT.”

extra? me? wait a minute-

*flick*

“ochako-chan! are you alright?”

i didn’t mean to say that. why are we in the infirmary?

“huh? l/n-san? what am i doing here?”

“midoriya-kun carried you here after one of bakugou-kun’s explosions missed me and hit you instead!”

what? when did that happen?

*flick*

“it’s time to take your midterm. put your books away and take out a pencil and eraser.”

this shouldn’t be right. midterms shouldn’t start until three weeks! this must be some sort of prank. did i get hit by a quirk or something?

“woah! l/n! i haven’t seen your text book this beat up since middle school!”

“huh? jirou? but i just got this!”

“huh? are you trying to make me feel better by acting like you forgot what today is?”

i looked down at my book. she was right. it had tabs and- that’s my handwriting! but, i don’t remember writing any of this. how will i pass?

*flick*

what is that sound?

“alright. pencils down and pass up your papers.”

“wait a sec-”

kaminari took my paper before i could even look at it. did i even fill it out? why am i forgetting everything?

*flick*

“woah! l/n-chan got everything right!”

“it makes sense, she studied hard everyday until the midterm!”

what? what is going on? why can’t i remember anything that happened in between? and what is that noise?

i turned to jirou.

“hey, have i been acting weird lately?”

“huh? no, not really. but just the fact that you’re asking that question makes me wonder if something is wrong. what’re you thinking about?”

“it’s nothing really, i just can’t seem to remember certain things. for example, i don’t even remember taking the midterm!”

“eh? that’s probably because you sped through it since you knew all the answers. i wouldn’t worry too much.”

she grinned at me and turned away.

what am i going to do now?

*flick*

ah. it’s lunch again. i’m not hungry so i guess i’ll just go to the library instead.

the library was eerily empty for lunch time. that was the least of my concerns though. i had to figure out what was going on. i checked all the aisles to see if there was something that could tell me what was wrong. in the corner of my eye i saw a book that seemed to be wiggling out of place. i reached up and grabbed it. i opened the book to discover it was a manga. a romance manga? why do these characters seem so familiar? is that- ochako-chan? midoriya-kun? and bakugou-kun? why are they in this? i had so many questions. but most importantly-

what was i doing in this?

*flick*

i gasped. why was it my turn to lay down in the infirmary? and where did that book go? i tried to get up but i couldn’t move. no matter how hard i tried. i couldn’t even speak. what was going on now? i heard muffled voices.

“if you get close to bakugou-kun again i’ll kill you!”

“i can’t believe how shameless you are to use his money to even go to this school!”

“your quirk is so weak, there is no way you’ll be a hero!”

“i bet you just seduced him in order to get into class A!”

“why don’t you do us all a favor and leave bakugou-kun alone for once?”

i wasn’t sure who was talking but before i knew it i was standing up on my own.

“hey! leave ochako-chan alone!”

“heehee whatever you say!” the group of girls giggled and proceeded to shove ochako to the ground before locking us in. i looked at her to find her on the verge of tears.

“hey, ochako-chan it’s ok! i should be able to open the door for us!”

i was not at all confident that i could open this door.

however, i surprised us and opened it with ease.

“oh. uh. i didn’t know i could do that. um. well, i guess i’ll see you later? i kinda have to get to the library now!” i sprinted out and closed the door before she could say anything and closed the door behind me. i turned the corner to see midoriya-kun running while shouting ochako-chan’s name. “she’s in the infirmary!” i told him. he looked startled but proceeded to run towards the room anyways.

once i made it back to the library i began to search for the book again. i found it in the same spot and all the questions i had seemed to be answered. i- was in a manga? and i’m not even the main character? what is this? bakugou-kun and midoriya-kun are love rivals? i let out a deep sigh and shook my head. i can’t believe i’m just some extra that shows up for their convenience.

*flick*

i’ve gotten used to this by now. it’s as if there are two worlds within this one: the stage and the shadow. the stage is where all of the main story line occurs, but the shadow is where all of the time in between happens. there, other characters have no clue what is happening and forget everything that occurred when the next scene starts. so far, it seems like no one else has realized what kind of world we live in.

as i walked lost in thought, i bumped into bakugou.

“oof- sorry bakugou-kun! ah- it’s not like you’ll remember this anyways. you know- you’re actually kind of cute. too bad, you’re a main character and i’m just an extra, like you always say. i also feel kind of bad for you, you have second lead syndrome. oh well! it’s not like you get what i’m saying!”

“what the fu-”

i did this to him often. while reading the manga, i have to admit, i became quite a fan of his. all of the cringy flirting and cliche lines aside, he was quite the attractive character. he almost made me wish i was ochako.

*flick*

aww how nice! the author has gifted me with some free banana milk! but- why?

“hi l/n-chan!”

“ochako-chan! you’re here early!”

her stomach growled.

ah. that’s why. why couldn’t i have it just this once? don’t i deserve it for working so hard as a side character?

“you haven’t eaten yet? here take this!” i reluctantly gave it to her with a grimace and turned to see bakugou-kun approaching us.

“you. come with me.”

i’m so jealous of ochako. she gets to be crushed on by bakugou, while im stuck here trying to help her decide between which boy helps her more. i can’t believe she’s going to pick midoriya and not bakugou.

*flick*

i sighed as i was finally released from the stage. i stretched and looked at my classmates. i thought this would be the perfect opportunity for them to start flirting or something, but to my surprise bakugou was looking at me. i looked around and pointed at myself.

“me? not- not ochako-chan?” i stuttered in disbelief. she was already running away and towards midoriya who waved for her to come over.

“the fuck? no. i’m talking to you, you damn extra.”

“um...ok? what’s up?” i asked awkwardly.

why was he talking to me? this wasn’t supposed to happen. he should be teasing ochako by taking her (my) milk by now.

“i thought about what you said last time and it just doesn’t make sense.”

“huh? last time? what did i say?”

“man, you really are crazy. you know, you kept talking about how i’m a main character or something and that i wouldn’t remember what you said.”

my eyes widened. he wasn’t supposed to remember that. now what’s happening? my life is so strange these days. i seem like a broken record.

“um. you must be remembering wrong. i- i never said anything like that!” i laughed nervously. he could obviously tell i was lying.

“fine. don’t help me. i’ll just figure it out by myself. i can’t believe i tried asking for fucking help.” he whispered to himself.

“we live in a manga!” i blurted out suddenly. “you and midoriya-kun are the main characters and you both have a crush on ochako-chan!”

there was no way he would believe that.

“you- uh you must be thinking you’re going crazy right? you hear strange noises and you can’t remember certain events even though you were sure you were doing something before hand?”

“how...the fuck did you know?” he looked at me with shock. i sighed and grabbed his wrist.

“just follow me,” i took him to the library and shoved the manga in his hands. “read this. it’ll tell you everything you need to know. bye now!” i nudged him in the direction of the exit.

“wait, what the fuck is this?” he seemed so different from his typical bad, angry boy personality. he seemed even more attractive with this confused look on his face.

he read everything and reached the empty pages. “what is this?”

“oh, well the author hasn’t written those parts yet. that’s why everything looks like this.” for the first time, he was aware that some of the furniture in the room was floating. “it’s like this because we are in the shadow, not the stage.”

“the what?”

“basically the stage is where all of the main parts of the manga occur and the shadow is where we are now. everything we do here won’t be remembered by the other characters.” i explained nonchalantly. “so, how does it feel? to know you aren’t going to end up with ochako-chan?”

“honestly, i could care less. every time i was in the ‘shadow’ i seemed to feel as if i lost my purpose. at least i still have my quirk.”

“man, you really are different from the manga. you’re so calm right now.”

“hey! what the fuck does that mean?!”

“jeez, never mind then. come on, let’s go to class.”

“wait!” i looked back at him.

“what?”

“don’t you want to...i don’t know, change the story? isn’t worth a try? we’re both just supporting characters. what harm can we cause?”

“you don’t think i’ve tried? i did everything i could think of to try and change the story.”

“but what if we-”

*flick*

“bakugou-kun! i’ve been looking for you!” ochako approached him.

“you idiot. jeez don’t run around with your laces untied.” bakugou bent down to tie her shoes.

jeez. could the author get any more cheesy? this makes me want to throw up.

“i told you i would get you new shoes!” midoriya cut in. “i can’t stand watching you get bullied over something as small as this!”

“i’ll take care of her deku.” bakugou glared at him.

oh my god just speed up this scene already. what am i even here for?

“i’ll just go shopping with l/n-chan! she seems to have the best style in the class! besides, i saved up enough to buy a new pair!”

“you can count on me ochako-chan!”

*flick*

“i thought that scene would never end!” i spoke aloud. i glanced at bakugou to catch him staring at me. “what?” he just glared and walked away.

weird.

bakugou and i have been spending a lot of time together. we make fun of our classmates and call them out in their faces. it’s pretty fun being able to yell at mineta all we want for being such a perv. not to mention, bakugou practically beats him up every time he’s near us. bonding with bakugou has become my favorite past time and i’m beginning to wonder what i would do if he didn’t become self-aware. however, the only bad thing about this was that i was beginning to like him. not just as a character, but as a person. i was way past the fangirl stage since i actually get to talk to him now. the worst part is that he actually likes ochako. both on the stage and in the shadow. i’ve come to this conclusion since he won’t shut up about trying to change the story line. i’m not sure what to do since there’s no one else for me to talk to about all of this.

“you need to help me. i’m so tired of being an extra.”

“what do you mean? you literally get so many lines and! you’re one of the main love interests!”

“but i don’t want to do this anymore, knowing that i won’t even get the girl! we have to change this story!”

“too bad! how do you think i felt? watching you for so long, knowing that i wasn’t fated to end up with you!” i gasped. “wait- i- forget i said that!”

“what?”

“nothing! it’s nothing! i just-” i could feel my eyes swell with tears.

is this how ochako feels when the author makes her cry every two scenes?

“even a fool could tell how i feel about you.”

i looked up into his crimson eyes.

did he just-

“what? what do you mean?”

“you idiot. i like you too. why do you think i’ve been bugging you to try and change the story?”

“ i thought it was because you wanted to end up with ochako-chan instead,” i took a deep breath. “why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

“i thought you could tell! you always catch me staring at you after scenes so i thought you knew!” he was smiling. he’s never smiled like this at me before. it was...nice. comforting. warm.

“let’s change this story.”

*flick*

(a/n: this is my first fanfic! i know i could use improvement, but i just wanted to write it because i felt like it :) also, if it was a little confusing, the flicks are supposed to be the sound of the pages turning. hope you enjoyed the story <3)

#katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugou imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou #bakugo #katsuki x reader #bnha imagines #bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #mha headcanons #mha x reader

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stellacolletore · 4 years

Text

08.26.2020

oneechan, let’s eat! anime: chihayafuru characters: mashima rika, mashima taichi/ayase chihaya, mashima oligo, mashima reiko, oe kanade, komano tsutomu, nishida yusei, hanano sumire summary: for Rika Mashima, meals with Chihaya-neesan is always something to look forward to. notes: zero spoilers (aka everything’s headcanon, compliant with the mizusawa series)

Their first meal together is a memory she only remembers from a photograph.

She’s been staring at said photograph for a while now, initial objective in leafing through the old family photo album promptly abandoned. Accomplishing the assignment for character development class could wait; this surprise has to be dealt with first. ASAP.

Because no matter which angle she looks at it, the picture still appears like it’s taken from an alternate universe.

Admittedly, the notion sounds over-the-top for a simple snapshot of a supposedly normal lunch in the Mashima household from five years ago. Especially with their dining area remaining unchanged, pieces of chinaware retaining their meticulously-curated pattern on the cupboards. She and Taichi-niisan sitting on the same ends of the table. Truly, everything is familiar, except for one thing: Chihaya-neesan had been occupying the spot next to her older brother.

It’s not that Chihaya-neesan is a stranger to Rika that the discovery of her dining with them before is something wholly unexpected. Quite the opposite, actually―Rika adores Oniisan's then-best friend. Cheerful and always in the mood for playing whatever game Rika requests (much unlike her annoying Oniisan), Chihaya-neesan brightens his bedroom whenever she’s around.

That’s where the surprise comes from, though. In her memories, Rika has only ever seen Chihaya-neesan in that room―and for a reason both the Mashima siblings fully understand. Okasan can be intimidating. It figures that Chihaya-neesan would only breathe well once she’s well out of range of their mom’s trademark laser glare.

But this photo is solid proof that there had been a day―or were they days? ―when Okasan wasn’t Mrs. Pressure in Chihaya-neesan’s eyes. The wide-toothed smile of hers, perfectly matching Oniisan’s, reflects that well enough.

It’s also evidence that there had been a day―at least―when Chihaya-neesan wasn’t on the receiving end of her mother’s barely concealed disapproval. The corresponding serene smile on Okasan’s face in the photograph says it, too.

After snapping a picture of it, she excitedly heads upstairs to Oniisan’s room. Look, Taichi-niisan, she intends to say. Let’s have fun with Chihaya-neesan again. Don’t you miss her, too?

The doorknob is turned halfway when an unfamiliar voice from the inside cuts her motion short. “Ta-kun, when are you going to invite me to your house? It’s what normal boyfriends do, you know.”

Rika’s mind turns up blank fast enough for her to miss Taichi-niisan’s reply, before filling up with a sick sense of dread at the mental image that appears afterwards.

It’s the same one as the photograph she’s been holding minutes before, only that instead of Chihaya-neesan, it’s an unknown girl who’s smiling beside her brother.

Rika’s not in the least surprised in finding out how she doesn’t like the image. At all.

ii.

You’ll be paying for this, Taichi-niisan’s glare tells her. You’ll be thanking me for this, Rika’s playful ones reply.

The doorbell rings, and in a flash, Oniisan’s expression switches from embarrassed annoyance into embarrassed anxiety. Her mischievous expression slips, too―she’s not that sadistic, after all. Of course she’s also feeling nervous about this. But nervousness is expected, nervousness is normal, when she’s about to meet the girl who says she loves her older brother...on livestream internet. For anyone to hear, including her classmate’s sister who happens to attend Mizusawa High School.

And really, if Rika Mashima hadn’t taken it upon herself to share this information to her Dad, who a) loves a good love story and b) loves his son so much that every milestone of Oniisan is treasured by him, then wouldn’t that just be sad? And totally not fun at all?

“Ara, ara...Who could that be? Taichi, would you please answer the door?” Otosan’s eyes are already gleaming with childlike mirth. Oniisan, cheeks turning more and more crimson by the second, rushes to the doorway.

Yep, this is going to be fun.

From the kitchen Rika hears her Okasan’s chiding. “Oligo, would you please give our son a break before he and Chihaya-san skips this lunch altogether?” The plates she’s carrying make an unusual clinking sound as they meet the glass table. Huh. Even Okasan is tense about this whole ordeal.

Chihaya-neesan finally arrives, sheepish as she was confident during the Queen Matches a week ago. She stutters a greeting. “Ko-konnichiwa, M-Mashima Oligo-s-san. Mashima Re-Reiko-san. R-Rika-chan.”

Otosan sends her a warm smile, once again making Rika feel thankful that her Dad’s one of the kindest Dads in the world. “Hisashiburi, Chihaya-chan! Congratulations on your victory! But before all that―come, Reiko has prepared for us a wonderful lunch.”

Lunch is indeed wonderful, going above and beyond Okasan’s insane standards by all means. From the seat across hers, Taichi-niisan is no longer giving her threatening glares, his own metaphorical plate full with awkwardness and concern for Chihaya-neesan who looks just as helpless herself. She keeps on avoiding Okasan’s line of sight and cutting up steak without ever putting it in her mouth. Rika snickers. Chihaya-neesan hasn’t changed a bit.

Heart warm at the thought, she decides to play the adorable little sister role and throws them a lifeline.

“Chihaya-neesan, Akane-chan―my schoolmate―has a sister who also goes to Mizusawa. She says you and Oniisan are really awesome , creating a karuta club and winning tournaments immediately after! I think so, too. They’re awesome, ne, Otosan, Okasan?”

Rising to the bait, words of praise immediately follow, much to her brother and Chihaya-neesan’s continuing shyness. But somewhere in between Otosan inquires about the process that went into the club’s making, and Chihaya-neesan begins to respond more confidently, with the subject of the conversation not being her but her friends. Taichi-niisan pitches in bits of information, too, and Okasan listens with a surprising, but definitely not unwelcome, level of rapt attention.

Soon enough, they find themselves laughing at the quirky tales of Mizusawa Karuta Club (Rika’s personal favorite was the one where they went head-to-head with Chiba International School, whom they first thought were foreigners, only for Taichi-niisan to reveal that they were Japanese people who hadn’t ever been overseas…).

Amidst all the merriment, Rika finally notices something.

Chihaya-neesan is giving Taichi-niisan an inexplicably fond look whenever his own eyes aren’t meeting hers; that is, when he laughs. Rika realizes that she hasn’t heard Oniisan laugh like this for a long, long time, and, judging by that loving twinkle in Chihaya-neesan’s eyes, she feels the same and is just as grateful for Taichi-niisan’s new found happiness as Rika is.

Maybe it’s due to that look that neither Otosan nor Okasan brought up Chihaya-neesan’s post Queen Matches speech, or asked them about the status of their relationship and its implications on their future.

She’s got a feeling that those questions hold no importance anymore.

iii.

Sure, she might’ve an older brother who’s basically the stuff of shoujo mangas, but there are days when Rika wonders if she could trade him for a sister.

After all, an older brother won’t rush to your school after dismissal, begging you for a trip to the mall. (“It’s an emergency, Rika-chan! Help me!”) An older brother wouldn’t ask you about what a boyfriend would want for a first year anniversary. (To which Rika would answer, “Definitely not another set of karuta cards.”) He’s the last person you would rather be talking to about high school girl problems over coffee and cake at Starbucks. (“It’s so easy for you, Onee-chan. You’ve liked each other from the start.” “Easy?! You call all that easy?!”)

But as Rika parts ways with Chihaya-oneechan after a hectic but enjoyable day and goes home where Taichi-oniisan greets her (“I heard you went shopping with Chihaya. Did you have fun?”), she’s finally made up her mind.

It’s useless to think about trading his brother anymore. Not when she already has both.

iv.

Taichi-neesan hasn’t popped the question yet, but Komano-san―nee Kanade Oe-san―is already crying.

Waiting in a classroom like the rest of them, Nishida-san remarks, “Kana, you’re supposed to cry after Chihaya. After!”

“Well, I apologize if my tears cannot bear to wait a moment longer after having done so for fifteen years. ” Komano-san wipes her tears with a handkerchief her husband passes to her. Behind his eyeglasses, his eyes are moist, too. “I think three years in high school is already a long time. But Mashima just had to add med school years on top of that.”

Hanano-san, already wearing a gleaming engagement ring of her own, is also on the verge of breakdown when finally, her phone rings. “T-that’s our cue, guys!”

Rika, with emotions equally unstable as her brother’s lifelong karuta friends, grips at the box of cake she and Okasan have spent all night baking to perfection. Altogether they head out of their hiding spot and towards the Mizusawa Club Room, where Oniisan has just finished asking Oneechan a question that is, indeed, fifteen years in the waiting.

As soon as they enter the room, Rika is treated with a sight that surpasses every joyful moment she’s ever encountered thus far. Chihaya-neechan, in her classic karuta get-up, surrounded by the cards she’s spent most of her life loving, crying openly on the crook of Taichi-niisan’s shoulder. Oniisan, one arm placed lovingly around Oneechan’s waist, welcomes them inside with the brightest smile she’s ever seen him wear.

Needless to say, Rika’s exhausted the limits of her handkerchief after that.

Later on, when everybody’s calmed down a bit and Oneechan is finally convinced by Komano-san that, yes, this is not a dream, Chihaya-chan, Rika hands her a slice of the gift she’s brought.

And finally, finally, gets to say the words she’s been longing to say:

“Oneechan, let’s eat!”

#taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #mashima rika #rika being the mischievous and adorable little sister hahaha #come talk taichihaya with me!

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bxthharmon · 4 years

Text

White Butterflies pt iii. || Hvitserk Lothbrok x Reader

Words: 2028

Warnings: Mentions of arranged marriage, drowning, (veiled threats?)

Summary: An owl’s cry is bad luck

A/N: Ah, took a couple of days, sorryyyyyy

i | ii | iii | iv | v

This story doesn’t follow the plot, so you don’t have to know the story to understand it.

“Princess Y/N” Bjorn greeted you, “Come with me, Ivar’s going to announce the raids.”

“Firstly, we can stop with the titles, I’ve been here almost two months now, we’re friends, no?” you grinned, and he nodded, beckoning you to join him on the path to the hall, “and secondly, since I am no shield-maiden, do I really have to have my afternoon spent watching men argue and shout over their mead?”

He laughed, “All the same, you are a member of the family, and I feel that you should find out, I wanted you to know earlier, but Ivar refused.” you frowned, curious, but followed him into the Great Hall. You picked out your husband and Ubbe in the crowd, greeting them and kissing Hvitserk on the cheek.

Ivar called for the attention of the hall, and the room fell silent. “People of Kattegat,” Ivar started, “I have called you all here to announce the destination of our summer’s raids.” the crowd cheered enthusiastically, spilling ale in the process, “Now, I understand that you all have been asking for the last few weeks, and I’ve come to my decision. We’ve fallen out with plenty of countries, and so I feel we shouldn’t take on more than we can handle, no? That is why, in a moon’s time, we will be travelling to the home of my dear brother’s wife, Y/N.”

Cheers went up around you, but Ivar and Hvitserk kept their eyes on you, watching for a reaction. Standing there, you realised that your mother had done an amazing job on training you to keep your emotions private. You stood there, straight-faced and calm, but internally panicking.

“Brother,” Ubbe said, “By doing this, you breach the terms of the agreement one that you signed, it would be unwise to do such a thing. They have a large army, a strong one, have you considered that it would not be so wise?”

“We have the largest army in the world,” Ivar said, a cheer went up, “And we have an inside woman, no?”

Stares turned to you, and you sighed, stepping forwards. “My king, it would be an honour to help you in this attack. Though I must admit, women were not told battle plans and such where I come from.”

“Well I suppose you’ve just got to tell us all you know, hmm?” he said, as if he expected nothing less.

You walked away, full of panic. You did not care for your family, your country or its people - there wasn’t a single good person in that court - but you were worried. If your father found out he would try to get to you - contact you or hurt you - he would do anything to turn you back to your old country. He would expect it. You had no doubt he would hurt the people you were close to, maybe even kill them, if it meant you helped him. You felt a hand on your arm.

“Y/N,” said Hvitserk, “Are you okay?” you turned abruptly to face him.

“My family is many things, but they are not high-minded people.” you said, “I have seen both cultures, and you, as vikings, in the way you fight, you are honourable, and honest, but they will stab you in the back, they will poison you and manipulate you to meet their own ends. Their army is smaller, but they will find out our strategies and plans. To do this, we would have to fight in the least viking way possible.”

Hvitserk stared at you, and you continued, “Ivar is punching above his weight, and I don’t want to watch a futile battle. I’ll help, but don’t expect me to support this. I don’t love them, but I also don’t want this to start a war, and by doing this Ivar is starting a war that I don’t think he’ll win.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and exited the hall, inhaling the cold, fresh air.

“Y/N,” Arthur greeted, and you looked up from your embroidery.

“Arthur,” you forced a smile, “What brings you here?”

“Theodore.” he says, and you frowned lightly.

“What’s Theo done?” you said, trying to be as polite as possible.

“Theodore told a servant girl that you were… courting… a boy from Lord Jackson’s court.” he sat down in front of you, and glared into your eyes. You held the stare, swallowing the fear induced by the glint in his eyes. Like he was mad, like he would kill you. “Now,” he began, drawing his dagger, and holding it to the light, “You are young, too young for betrothal, but in a couple of years, no doubt, once you’ve got your monthly blood, you will undoubtedly marry. And you know, our family is the most important thing.” he lifted the blade so that you could see your face staring back at you, “so we can’t have you marry some unimportant, good-for-nothing Lord in one of our own courts, can we?”

“Mother said-”

He pushed the flat side of the blade against your collar bone, the edge cold metal threatening to twist and slice your skin. “Mother knows that you will marry to form an alliance, and if you stray from the path that your father is building for you, then people will get hurt, and you are too kind to let that happen.” the blade twisted, and drops of blood trickled down your skin.

“Thank you for your counsel, brother.”

You’d known then that everything he’d said was true. You’d spent your whole life preparing for this marriage. You’d learnt Frankish and German and Latin fluently, and could just about get by in at least four other languages, so that you could speak to any foreign suitors and handle visitors to your court. You’d learnt to write, read, sew and embroider so as to have reputable skills to help in your life. You’d learnt manners and etiquette to impress suitors. You’d been taught how to veil threats, hide emotions, and test other’s certitude.

You had been prepared for it, yet when it had happened, you couldn’t have been in more shock. You had been thrown into a world with different Gods, customs and celebrations. You already understood and spoke the language, but were nowhere near fluent, and struggled to keep up with conversation, especially given the refusal to teach any language relating to another religion.

You felt out of your depth.

You stood on the docks of Kattegat, the sea stretched out before you, turbulent and stormy. The waves rising metres into the air, and winds cold and harsh against your skin, biting and clawing at you. The swell of the wave was noticeable from the moment it entered the fjord, rising and surging towards you with purpose. You wanted to run, to get out of the way, but your feet were stuck, you couldn’t move. The wave only seconds away from hitting, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

As the impact hit you, you were blown away, floating in the undercurrents as water took the town as its own. The wave pulled back, and you were swept away, out of the fjord, and into the endless waters of the sea. Your lungs screamed for air, but you couldn’t tell left from right, up from down. The depths gave you no means of escape, and your lungs were collapsing, you were sinking. Forced by the water, your mouth opened, and water filled your lungs.

But you did not die.

You hung there, in the middle of the sea, breathing water. You pulled yourself forwards through the water, your eyes wide open, stinging, but seeing. You pulled yourself through the water, and realised that you suddenly knew how to swim. You felt yourself begin to relax and felt your guard drop. You regained your bearings.

But then the water became a mess of fangs and scales and blood and you were disorientated and hurt again. Panic filled your system and you pushed yourself away, trying to escape the huge writhing body that was thrashing all around you. You found yourself watching the thing from a distance, before you saw its eyes.

Evil, red, hateful, they caught you in their gaze, growing bigger, more vicious, bloodthirsty and hunting. You saw its fangs, pale and sharp and full of venom, its scales smooth and perfect. This - this thing - was a monster, a beast, made for murder and hate and unspeakable deeds. It was hunting.

And you were the prey.

The mouth of the serpent came close so quickly that if you shut your eyes you would have missed it. It was so big that for a split-second you realised it would swallow you whole, and you were as small as a mouse is to a bear.

You were going to die.

Air filled your lungs as you sat up in bed, drenched in sweat, panting. Everything was blurred and all you were aware of was your breathing - shallow, quick and ragged - everything else was unclear.

You felt faintly aware that someone had sat up next to you and you could feel their arm over your shoulders, pulling you into them, stroking your hair, kissing your forehead.

“Y/N, are you okay? Y/N, tell me what happened, talk to me, me heart, talk to me.”

The murmur pierced through your dumb state, and everything came back into focus. You could feel tears streaming down your face. You brought your attention to Hvitserk, whose face taught with concern, eyebrows pulled down to a frown, his eyes, dark and strong, but he too looked scared witless, on the verge of tears.he took your face in his hands, “My Princess, tell me what happened.”

“I, uh, I was at the docks.” your speech, you realised, was broken. This was the most vulnerable you’d ever been in front of someone, “and there was this - this wave. It was coming towards me, so fast, and it seemed… almost, I don’t know, angry. It flooded all of Kattegat - the whole thing - and took me with it back out to sea. And I was trying to hold my breath - obviously - and I don’t know how to swim, so I was panicking. But - but I could breathe.”

He frowned, “Underwater?”

“Yes, it was like I was breathing the water itself.” you sighed, “But then, just as I got my bearings, this huge thing came and it was, like, thrashing, around me. I - I got away, but this, giant, huge… snake, I think, it saw me. And it looked like it wanted to kill me, for no real reason. And it surged towards me, it was so big that it fully, like, I don’t know, it consumed me?” you looked at your lap, and felt tears falling.

“Hey,” he looked into your eyes, “hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. But do you know what this means?”

“No,” you said, “I’ve never had a dream like that before.”

“You could breathe underwater, that means you have Njord’s favour.”

“Njord?” you asked, despite how you were trying to learn about the Gods, you didn’t know them all.

“The God of the Sea, and the Wind, and of Trade.” He explained. “We should tell the others of your dream, it’s important.”

“Important how?” you asked.

“Important because we want to have his favour for our sails to your land.” he kissed your nose, lightly. “It’s daybreak anyway, come to our meeting with me later, help us out.”

“For you,” you kissed him, and then left the bed, calling a thrall to help you dress. Hvitserk left quickly, kissing your cheek and assuring your attendance to the small war council.

You went to the yew tree before the council, and prayed. You prayed for family, but not family that shared your blood. You prayed for the family whose home you lived in and whose success depended on you. You wondered what had become of Theo, and if your family was still healthy, and you questioned if you wondered this out of love or curiosity, and if they thought the same of you. Somewhere, in the distance, an owl called.

tag(s): @soleil-dor @siliethkaijuy

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theasteriae-arc · 4 years

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five times kissed ( selectively accepting! ) / @diabolicaltendencies said:

❝ Five times kissed. ❞ ( for BASH & SAM )

[ also feat. august, @epiitaphs’ sebastian, and @gunmetalgrey’s severin ]

Two sets of blue eyes fixed, unblinking, on one another. Two pairs of lungs working overtime. Sebastian can feel his pulse beating in his ears, hear the rush of blood. His ear drums ( aptly named ) are pounding. He drops his gaze to Sam’s lips, which are compressed into a tight line. His nostrils are pinched, he’s trying so hard to stay in control, but with that one flicker of Bash’s eyes, something breaks. The invisible string, growing tauter by the second as it tries to hold them apart, snaps, and they lunge for one another at the same time. Mouths ( teeth, tongues ) clash, and hands, fingers, nails scrabble against cheeks. Sam grunts as his shoulder collides with the corner of a shelf, but he only kicks the spilled packets of gauze aside as he presses forward, backs Bash up against the door, and seizes hold of his wrists.

“By your sides.”

This has been a long time coming, weeks of flirting ( sideways glances, smiles that didn’t extend past the corners of the lips ) that could only have culminated in one thing after Bash dragged him into this supplies cupboard in the middle of his shift. Sam’s not complaining, but if Sebastian thinks making the first move gives him the upper hand, he’s sadly mistaken. The other’s chest is heaving, his desperation evident in the way his hands keep leaping back to Sam’s waistband. He draws back minutely, not letting their lips touch until Bash’s palms are flat against the wood again. Then he rewards him with a trail of light, biting kisses down the side of his neck. They have both waited long enough.

ii.

Stolen: one kiss. Sometimes, if they are lucky, they can snatch fifteen minutes to themselves ( thirty is a miracle ), but today, no sooner has Bash shut the door behind him than his radio crackles with an incoming call. “Bash, this is Seb. We’ve got a shout. Get your arse back here. Now. Copy? Over.” He sighs and looks at Sam, sprawled out on the bed, before unhooking the radio from his belt and responding, “Copy. Over.” But though his cousin’s voice sounded urgent over the airwaves, he can’t resist ( before he goes ) planting one knee on the mattress and leaning forward to touch his mouth to Sam’s. He’s barely there when they’re interrupted again by a beep from Sam’s pager. The doctor puts a firm hand on Sebastian’s chest and pushes him back.

“Multiple GSWs incoming,” he reads. Sev needs him in the pit. Bash is probably going to be on the scene. That gives him pause. “Are you going to be all right?”

Bash doesn’t talk about it, and Sam doesn’t like to ask, but the scar on his back tells its own story. He’s been under fire before, and if the gunman hasn’t yet been apprehended … Even if he has, how will Sebastian react to the sight of the bodies?

“Fine.” His voice is level, and he doesn’t look concerned as clambers off the bed and straightens the front of his jacket. “Just a part of the job, isn’t it? I’ll come and find you later, if things aren’t too mad.” But what Sam doesn’t see is Bash pausing just outside the on-call room, trying to get a handle on the breaths he’d been holding so that he wouldn’t know how much shouts like this still got to him.

iii.

For someone who works in, or at least alongside, one, Sebastian’s dislike of hospitals might seem ironic, if you don’t know the whole story behind it. He’d spent months lying in a bed just like this one, surrounded by machines that bleeped and buzzed when he managed to detach the monitor from his finger, and patronising nurses who told him, recovery takes time, when they restrained his wrists and ankles to keep him from toppling himself off the mattress again or messing with his drips. Months when he hadn’t been able to feed himself, clothe himself, go to the toilet. He couldn’t walk, couldn’t stand. For a long time, he couldn’t even sit up. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling more helpless than he had ever felt before.

Years later, the feeling still pervades, but this time, he’s not the patient. He’s sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair beside a bed in the ICU, waiting to see if Sam will wake up. He was unconscious when August brought him in, his brother’s broad frame sagging not only with the weight of the doctor but under the burden of his own injuries too. He’d been patched up in A&E, put back together with glue and gauze and tape, while Sam, bleeding from two bullet holes in his stomach, had been wheeled straight up to an operating theatre.

That had been three days ago. The surgeons are trying to stay positive—his vitals are good, brain activity remains constant, his heartbeat’s strong, he’s stable, Sebastian—but his eyelashes haven’t so much as fluttered. There’s a machine breathing for him, and besides, Bash can see them beyond the glass, heads with scrub caps on bent close together, voices lowered to a whisper. They’re not confident, and he’s not leaving.

He opens his mouth to tell Sev as much when he drops in to check on Sam’s progress a little while later, but Sev just checks the monitor, checks the charts hooked over the foot of the bed, and almost as an afterthought, chucks a cheese and tomato sandwich, a bottle of water, and a packet of crisps from the canteen into Bash’s lap. “I don’t want to see you in the bed next door because you’ve not been taking care of yourself,” he says.

Bash tears open the plastic wrapper and shoves half the sandwich into his mouth at once, washing it down with several gulps of water. This is the first thing he’s had to eat in he doesn’t know how long. Severin sighs and pulls up a chair. “Slow down, if you don’t want to make yourself sick. And- No offence, but after you’ve finished that, you’ve got to at least shower. You stink.” He relents a little by adding, “You can use the showers off the attending’s locker room,” but he’s not going to back down entirely. “I’ve got some charts to finish off, but I can do those here. He won’t be on his own, Bash.”

Bash swallows, but instead of arguing, he nods at Severin. He is grateful for this little bit of direction. With Sam unresponsive, he’s felt so untethered, on the verge of a spiral, ever since the news came in. He finishes his meal in silence, then stands, brushing crumbs off the front of his shirt. It feels a little awkward with his cousin, and Sam’s boss, watching, this was supposed to be a secret, but he can’t leave without saying goodbye, and sorry, in case this is the last time.

He strokes Sam’s hair back, out of his eyes, and brushes his lips over his forehead. “Won’t be long, love. You just hang in there, yeah?” And leaves the room without a backward glance, because he knows, if he looks at Sam again, he will never be able to go.

iv.

“Sit still.” The command in Sam’s voice helps, but it doesn’t stop the string of curses that leave Bash’s mouth when he probes at the purple flesh around his ribs. Pacifist his arse. Severin had kicked him hard enough to break his ribs, and then jammed his knee into the same spot not long later. Standing had not been an option after they’d stumbled into the flat, Sam supporting most of his weight before he’d collapsed into the nearest seat, but he can’t help but fidget and wince as his boyfriend pokes and prods at him with all the impersonality of a doctor. “Bash …” There’s a quiet warning in Sam’s tone and Sebastian does his best not to squirm anymore as he finishes up his exam.

He’s rewarded, when it’s over, with a soft kiss. Sam tilts his chin up with two fingers and strokes his cheek as their lips meet. “You did good. Very good. Now, let’s take a look at your hands.” His knuckles are in almost as poor a state as the other Sebastian’s face, and smeared with blood. Some of it is his and some of it is not.

“We got called out to a car accident today,” he says, as if that explains it all. Sam closes the minuscule gap between them and kisses him again. “Shush,” he says against his lips. “Shush. The why can wait till later. I just want to get you cleaned up first, okay?”

Sebastian has always loved being by the sea—salty air, bracing wind, the sound of the waves lapping at the shore. These days, holidays to the east coast also involve buckets and spades and surfboards stacked up by the door, a heap of sand-covered towels, and two boys with bright eyes and cheeks falling asleep straight after dinner. Bash carries them up to bed, tucks the covers in around them, and creeps back down to the living room, where Finding Nemo is still playing on the television.

There’s a beer waiting for him on the coffee table. He hasn’t got that far when the dog comes up, wagging her tail and nosing her way into his palm in search of treats. He laughs softly and strokes her behind the ears. “I know you’ve been fed, girl. Go on.” He picks up the bottle and takes a sip, then wanders through to the kitchen, where Sam is washing up the last of their dinner things. Sebastian sets his beer down on the nearest surface and winds his arms around Sam’s waist from behind, blond hair tickling his nose and lips as he kisses the nape of his neck.

It’s a shame that they have to go home to London tomorrow, but Bash feels comforted knowing that this house will be here for them next summer, and all the summers after that. It will get plenty of use, he is sure.

#injury / tw #diabolicaltendencies #( i. message )#sebastian. | muse #how to save a life. | medical au #( iv. i'd sit with you in the trenches | sebastian & sam )#( ix. august moran )#( ix. sebastian moran | epiitaphs )#( ix. severin moran | gunmetalgrey )#( ix. max prescott )#( ix. liam prescott )

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cloudbeom · 5 years

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Spring day | PJM

Pairing: Park Jimin x sister reader

Request by: L I E on my quotev !

Genre: angst; comfort :")

Tw : mentions of self ham

Summary: jimin left you once, but once he found out what that caused, he vows to never do the same mistake again

a/n: ive experienced self harm a while back and it sucks to have the scars that wont heal anymore, so i hope you know there are better ways to cope with sadness. please know that bts's music from love yourself is specifically for loving yourself, they made that for you. it was not a marketing strategy to target depressed people, they made that for you all to help you, so dont let them down, and dont give up on yourself, okay? love yourself. dont forget namjoon said that we helped them love themselves, so now its our turn to use their love for us. stay healthy, everyone . i promise there will be better days ❤

it was the first day of spring, Jimin was coming back from Seoul to Busan and you were so excited to be seeing your older brother again.

The good thing about spring was that it was cold, so there was no reason for you to be showing skin outside--(which was where you and Jimin had planned to spend the whole day; there was a spring festival going on)

Jimin had arrived at crack ass of dawn, so you hadn't been awake at the time of his arrival, but thankfully you were awoken when he had opened the door and it creaked too loudly, and thankfully to you, you were a very light sleeper.

you had ran up and screamed, immediately tackling your older--now blonde - brother in a hug, and Jimin silently giggles, his shoulders shaking, as he wraps his long arms around you as well.

things were going normally for the two of you as the week went by, Jimin was quick to assume you were fine.

but actually, you were far from it.

the scars that littered your arms was a constant reminder on what had happened to you when Jimin left, his fans threatening you, calling you names and insulting you directly through social media. His sasaengs contacting you, asking for your address, you lived in constant fear. fear of what would happen if you obeyed them, not only Jimin would get hurt, but you, and your family would too.

but you didn't want to show Jimin that, you didn't want to show him how weak you are. he was only going to be there for a week, so you decided to make it count.

you should have known that Jimin was family, and no matter how well you'd hide it, he's still find out one way or another. Unfortunately, it had to be today.

"(Y/n)? Park (Y/n)? helloooooo, earth to (Y/n)??" your older brother calls out when you spaced out, he grabs both of your cheeks with his cold hands to grab your attention, "(Y/n)!"

"What? what is it?" You say, startled, "Oh my God, your hands are cold!" you hiss to him, and he laughs.

"Come on, they sell ice cream there, let's get something!" Jimin says, pointing to an ice cream truck that had parked under a tree that was covered in snow, "My treat," he smiles

"Sure, get me mint chocolate," You say, and Jimin scrunches his nose

"Gross! you're just like Jeonggukie and Hoseok, always eating toothpaste," he says, and you laugh at the mentions of his band mates who were also your friends, Jimin then takes out his wallet, "But since you're my annoying sister, I'll spare you. Stay here and I'll get them!" he says, pulling your arm towards a vacant tree and pushing you down to sit before skipping away.

you sat yourself down on the snow covered grass and breathed shakily, gently peeling your sleeve down. It had stung when Jimin pulled you, the cuts weren't fully healed yet and your jacket had rubbed on the scarred skin enough to make you wince, but thankfully, your older brother didn't notice. you pulled your sleeve back down.

Just as you were about to stand back up, a shadow loomed over you.

"That was quic-"

"You fucking bitch!" someone yelled, yanking you by your hair, and you yelped, "So you we're Jimin oppa's girlfriend all along weren't you?!"

You felt tears pooling your eyes at the sudden physical pain. At the mention of Jimin's name, you quickly pieced together that it was one of his delusional fans, you listened to her yelling, and under different circumstances, you would've gagged hearing her call you your own brother's 'girlfriend'.

doesn't this girl see you looked alike?

blinded by rage, she starts to grab at your chin to force you to look at her, she had a scowl on her face and she was pissed.

"Answer me, you fucking bitch!" she yells into your face, her hand strikes for your cheek and you let out a chocked sob, "He doesn't deserve you!"

her hands raise again, and you flinched, but frantic shouting startles you from behind.

"Stop that! let my sister go!" Jimin says, panicked. he drops both of the ice creams in his hands and came running to you, pushing the girl away and stepping in between you two, a heroic yet extremely stupid act on his own behalf. People could've crowded around and took pictures of the act he was putting up, but thankfully the park was mostly empty on a bleak, cold day such as this. "What do you think your doing?!"

The girl, now completely in a daze, because not only did her idol had just pushed her, ('touched her', you can almost hear her delusional mind think that way) , but he had also yelled at her for hurting his sister, sister.

"O-Oppa, I'm s-"

"Go away! just leave us alone, please!" Jimin yelled, but sounded pleading and on the verge of his own tears as he outstretched his arms in an attempt to hide your frame. The girl had no choice but to bow and leave.

silence followed suit, then Jimin turns around and drops on his knees, pushing your hair from your face, "Let me see you-"

"I'm fine," you say, pushing him off, but your brother was adamant.

"(Y/n), I saw her fucking grab you, stop being so stubborn!" Jimin curses desperately, and his eyes widen when he realised he lashed out, "I didn't mean that, (Y/n),"

You sighed in defeat. Jimin looked so stressed already, so you let him. You shut your eyes as you felt tears resurfacing as he searched your face for bruises, and then your hands.

he had lifted up your sleeves, something you wished he would stay away from. And naturally, he froze at what he found.

You knew he would've seen it, you just didn't know it would've been today.

"(Y-Y/n)... she...she didn't do this, did she?.." Jimin asked, his voice was trembling at the sight of the scars on his baby sister's arms, "This was...t-this is you, isn't it?"

you couldn't lie to him, you couldn't. so you nodded slowly, tears starting to stream down your cold, flushed cheeks.

and finally, finally, you broke down.

"That wasn't my first time, hyung, that wasn't my first time getting harassed. s-some of them know i'm your sister, some of them are still out there, some of them are out there to kill me, just because- because I'm related to you!" you sobbed, and Jimin's anger turned to sympathy, to guilt as he pulled you into his arms, letting you cry, "I d-didn't choose to be your sister, hyung, i didn't... but they- they dont fucking get it! I-I don't know wh-what they wan't, mom and dad keep comparing me to you- i'm not smart or pretty or successful, I'm not like you! I'm-"

"Park (Y/n)," Jimin coos gently, one of his hands reaching out to stoke your hair. Jimin had a smile, but tears were uncontrollably streaming down his cheeks.

this was all his fault, Jimin was living the best life in Seoul, and he completely didn't know you we're struggling on your own here, in Busan, his hometown, the place where you both grew up, the place he left for his career.

he chased his dreams, and at the same time, he ruined yours. he would never forgive himself if he didn't make it right.

"Listen to me, (Y/n)," Jimin starts, trying to sound strong, but his own voice betrays him as it breaks, sharing the pain his baby sister felt as you kept crying into his arms, "You're coming to Seoul with me after this, okay? I'll take care of you, I'll take care of you from now on,"

"I-I can't leav-"

"That's my final decision, (Y/n)," Jimin says, softly running his hands on your arms, biting his lip to stop it from quivering, "I'm your brother, and I already gave up on you once by leaving you. I'm not going to do that again,"

You couldn't find your voice to reply as you sobbed and sobbed to your brother, but Jimin didn't seem to mind as he lets out his own tears.

he hopes one day, he'll help you heal. Just like how spring comes by after the winter, the season where flowers start to bloom again.

#park jimin #bts #bangtan #bts jimin x reader #bangtan sonyeondan #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #bts jimin #bts jiminff #park jimin x reader #park jimin imagines

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