#ive been paying for access and not getting it for so long its actually so bad

[adraughtofamortentia]

.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so she should be allowed to be one“

the nordic model is not criminalising prostituting yourself, but prostituting others. the statement above actually means this:

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so men should be allowed to buy access to her body for their own sexual gratification“

and „i want to be in prostitution“ is not a statement that really says anything. it can mean:

i need money/im in debt

i dont have any viable alternatives or i would take them

im being discriminated against on the regular job market (due to misogyny, ableism, racism) and i dont know how to make enough money any other way

i have a family to take care of and exploring other options is too risky

i have substance abuse issues/im homeless and no employer will take me

being a sex object has been normalised and glamorised by the people surrounding me

i have been used and abused by men before so i at least want to make some money off it

im out of touch with my own sexuality and do whatever my sexual partner wants/want to experiment which means i let men do what they want to me

im mentally ill and this is self-harm to me, or i have issues keeping down a regular job

i want to rebel (against my parents, against religion, whatever) and its way too easy to enter prostitution so i chose this

i have been groomed and manipulated from a young age

my self-image and self-worth depends on men wanting to use me as a vessel for their desires

ive become numb to my abuse/ive accepted my fate of being abused by men

the brothel is my family and i have no security net or connections outside prostitution

i live in the brothel so i would be homeless if i exited

ive intellectualised prostitution to a degree i can rationalise the inherent abuse to myself and others

im very privileged and in the fringe minority who can actually pick and choose who pays me for sex but i dont see that only the fact that marginalised women make up the majority of prostitutes allows me this position

my level of education and skill hinders me from getting a job with a viable income

i need flexible working hours that no employer is willing to offer me

i want to open my own business but no bank is willing to give me a credit

im saving for something and there is no other option to make enough money to save some due to capitalism, misogyny and marginalisation

im desillusioned and disappointed with heterosex

ive been told this is my only option

ive been in prostitution too long to exit even if i wanted to

i cope with the abuse by defending it

ive been failed by institutions and people that were supposed to support me

i want to get out of an abusive relationship so i endure the abuse of prostitution to make enough money to leave him and prostitution/my boyfriend makes me

i want out but i cant right now

etc etc

these are not mutually exclusive either. it is clear that entering prostitution hinges on other mechanisms without which no woman would choose to enter prostitution: there is no intrinsical will to prostitute oneself. the ways that lead girls and women into prostitution are diverse but they all lead to one thing: being used by men as a sex object, which means being dehumanised on a regular basis.

[usagichuu]

university!dan heng x reader oneshot

a/n: a continuation of the university!dan heng headcanons! it’s been a while since ive properly written so please bear w me, not proofread so also plz bear w me

genre: sfw, first kiss, gn reader

notes: i actually do a lot of archival research in uni irl and hence this scenario has crossed my mind many times but for context for those who haven’t been around uni libraries before: to maximize space many libraries will have their shelves packed together in one huge block of shelves, so you can’t actually access the shelves by walking between them. in order for you to access the shelf you’re looking for you need to turn a wheel on the corresponding shelf to push the adjacent shelves aside and open up a pathway for you to walk between the shelves (does this even make any sense?). but you need to be careful! because if you aren’t paying attention, someone in another row may be trying to get a book and when you open up yours you might squish them :( anyways! context so this makes sense.

It’d been a few weeks into the semester since you first met him at the library, since those steely gray eyes that peered over at you from the front desk seemed to puncture right through your defences. It’s funny how one day of forgetting your laptop charger could turn into a new daily routine of dropping by the library, requesting to rent one just so you could be struck again. Charger rentals quickly turned to him asking you about the books you’re reading to chats about classes. Then one day he started leaving you cups of tea on your desk for your late night sessions - and always when you have your head down for a power nap so you can’t ever thank him. But the teabag in your cups are always the same brand as the ones you see dangling from his thermos, though he will always deny it.

Today you actually did need his help, though. You were looking for a specific book that was not in the regular library shelves, and needed someone to guide you through the labyrinth that was the archives. Luckily for you, Dan Heng seemed to know them like the back of his hand.

“Sorry to take you away from your job like this.”

“I work at the library help desk. You are asking for my help,” he says matter-of-factly, “This is quite literally my job.”

The archive stacks lay out before the two of you, with stacks on stacks of shelves stretched out for what must be all the way from East to West campus. With the archives located in the library’s underground level, it was entirely plausible. The archives room was lit by large fluorescent panels on the ceilings, which seemed to hang low compared to the tall shelves. It was crazy how in a room that loomed this large, they still had to stack the shelves together to accommodate all of them. Each shelf had a great big wheel on its side, which you knew you had to turn to roll the adjacent shelves aside, allowing you passage to the shelf of your choice. With the smell of finely aging books curling yellow with the years wafting through the room and these great big contraptions of shelves, being down here almost felt otherworldly. You looked to Dan Heng - how long must someone spend down here to sift through the shelf labels as algorithmically as he did?

“May I?” Snapping out of your awe, you found him holding his hand out to you, expectantly. Wait - what?

“Huh?”

“Your phone. I forgot the call number.”

Oh. You hand your phone over. This deep into the archives, with the fortress of shelf stacks in front and behind you, the ceiling lights could only reach so far. So when he opened your phone, the light of the screen gently illuminated his face.

“Interesting background.”

“Don’t you have a job to do?”

“Friendly banter is an effective way to make a friendly atmosphere between library staff and visitors.

“I didn’t take you for the bantering type.”

Just before you swear you could detect an almost imperceptible smile. But just as quickly as it came, the light of your phone was snuffed out.

“Here it is,” he set both hands firmly on the wheel, turning and rolling what must have been eight stacks of shelves aside, which gave way with a creak and the crackle of plastic-wrapped books. A space opened up between your two target shelves, just wide enough for one of you at a time to pass through.

“Looks cozy,” you say, taking a step inside. But you knew this was the farthest right he could push the shelves, and you didn’t want to trouble him to push aside any more. “Let’s go find that book.”

You two work silently, scanning the bookshelves row by row: you on one side and him on the other, meeting in the middle. You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little flustered when you two bumped shoulders as you finished the first row, him just silently turning to you, shaking his head. It’s not on this one. And then you two proceeded to the next row.

You went on like this for a little bit, occasionally accidentally brushing hands as you two closely watched the book spines, only for you to hurriedly draw your hand away. But row by row, shelf by shelf, he started to move his hand to yours first, your hands lingering, skin to skin, for just a moment as you both pretended to be carefully observing the last book. Never daring to look the other in the eye lest either one betrays the look on their face. First a brush of the knuckles, them the backs of your fingers, then-

The shelves began to close together with a heavy groan. They must have been so quiet, else must not have realized you two were there, and began to close up the stacks, and they were closing in quickly.

Dan Heng immediately put himself between you and the incoming shelf, bracing himself on the shelf behind you. “Excuse me!” He shouts to the stranger, and the shelves ceased.

The stranger called back. “Sorry! I’ll be done in a sec!”

The momentary shock settling down, you realized the position you were in: the two of you, pressed dangerously close together, Dan Heng with one arm above you to steady himself on the shelf behind you, looking down at you. Your faces were so close as you turned your head up to look at him, you felt a lock of his hair brush your forehead.

“Are you alright?”

You open your mouth to say something, when you realize that with his body pressed to yours he could feel your heart beating wildly in your chest - and was that his thrumming in response? Must the adrenaline from saving you from the shelves be getting him this worked up? Why was your own heart still fluttering if the threat is over? And… Why did your face feel so warm?

“I’m…” You look into his eyes for the first time since you two entered the shelves - he’s handsome. Devastatingly handsome. The faint ceiling lights cut through the shelves, offering a window of light for you to look at him, him to look at you.

“Sorry… Is this too close?”

You shake your head. “No, it’s… It’s fine…”

Your eyes wandered - could he see where they were looking? Down his face to his lips, and you tried to focus on something - anything - to distract you but all that was before you was him, his eyes gray like winter above you, his heart thumping through his jacket and against your chest, and his lips, god, his lips.

You two stand in silence as you try to peel your eyes away from him. But then he gently puts his free hand under your chin, tipping it back up to look at him. You can’t hide it now - you cheeks flushed pink, the way you’re looking at him. Your foreheads are touching now, his eyes searching yours as his gentle breath fans across your face, a few locks of hair on your cheek stirring. You quietly whisper.

“Is teasing me also part of your job description?”

A flutter of his eyelashes. Yours closing in response. Your hearts, drumming up courage in you both as he lowers his face and you bring yours up to meet his.

And then the gentlest, gentlest of kisses. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, and his hand under your chin drops to your waist in response, drawing you near. His kisses are long and drawn out, then punctuated: short, sweet like haiku syllables, playing out on your lips, writing you to life.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

a/n: thanks for reading yahoo!

writing masterlist

[kvothbloodless]

As someone who’s followed you for a long time, and a fellow writer….do you genuinely support chatGPT? Even if it has been proven to scrape people’s writings without their consent? And the fact that its a soulless husk of what actual writing is?

So Ive done my best to avoid AI discourse, but I am bad at it. So to put it clearly.

I dont Support chatgpt specifically. Its a program made by a corporation because they can make a profit from it, and curtail its capabilities in line with their goals. I use it sometimes because its fun ans convenient, but I dont pay for it or anything. I think pretty much all legitimate concerns about AI are really just concerns about corporate ethics, at which point the AI specifically becomes irrelevant

I also dont really think the situation in general is one where "support" is the right word to use; its like asking if I support cameras.

I want to be clear im not trying to be vague though; i think in general AI is pretty cool, and that 99% of the arguments against it are factually incorrect, based on inconsistent or bad moral frameworks, or both. Im not going to get into all the reasons AIs are cool, since I dont feel up to doing a Big AI Post, but I do want to gesture vahuely in the direction of how much more accessible this makes artistic creation and experimentation, and all the insanely fun things people can use AI for. However, i do want to address the common arguments against it, especially since it feels like a lot of people are just misinformed and falling into the very easy tumblr trap.

1. Scraping fics without consent: if you post something on a public site for the public to read, and someone downloads it to read it, its not stealing. Tumblr is generally pretty firmly against strict copywrite laws, so its a bit weird that so many people are Very concerned about AIs "stealing" their work in a way thats even less direct than fanfiction. Like, "your writing is so in character" and "wow youre really good at imitating the authors writing style" are common compliments on fics.

To be clear, there are absolutely ways of interacting with free public content thats bad (like reposting). But AIs arent frankensteining stuff together, or copy pasting anything; they literally could not do that. The training/model files are so insanely tiny compared to the amount of training data that it would be impossible for them to be storing that sort of thing. An AI learning from your writing isnt really any different than a human reading your writing, going "oh I like that" subconsciously, and using that to inform their future writing.

Whats that quote about "to get better at writing, read more"? If you believe that statememt is accurate, then Im a bit confused how youd be upset about an AI "reading" your writing and learning from it?

All of the Actual ways this could be used badly (copying someones art style and then selling art cheaper, etc.) arent actually unique to AI (a person can also do that!), and also usually arent really a thing thats happening enough to be a problem (most people who want art from an artist enough to commission them, are going to want it to actually be done By that artist). Using AI to make an original work, or even to finish a fanfic someone else wrote, is no more theft than if you did it by yourself.

2. "Soulless Husk": im sorry im genuinely trying my best here to be gentle and respectful, but this talking point genuinely makes my blood boil a bit, so im not trying to get personal or insult anyone specifically. Claiming that art made by humans is automatically deeper, that art is all about Meaning and Struggle, comes off as extremely pretentious and just doesnt engage with the reality of art. Im having trouble articulating a good argument here, but like. Art doesnt have to be deep, it doesnt have to have a Message, and the necessity of struggling in order to learn about and create art is an unequivocable bad thing.

Many many people make art (visual, written, etc.) becuase they want to see or read something cool or because they think others will find it fun. Many many people who would like to create art do not do so because it requires talent/practice that they are not willing to put the time and effort into developing, and this is not a moral issue. As Ive said before, laziness is a virtue and self-indulgance is a goal we should aspire to. Using a tool to make the incredibly fun act of creating easier and more accessible is awesome.

Also, who gets to define what "actual art" is? Genuinely seems a bit arrogant and presumptuous to declare that something is or is not "actual art" based on your own preferences.

The posts that Really annoy me are the ones that are like "cant understand the people RPing or playing a TTRPG with AI becuz its soulless. I only ever RP with other people because the fun part is being social or collaberatively building story" or whatever. Cool. I rp and play tabletops because i like to have fun and I enjoy those activities. Im gonna be honest, i find it a bit offensive and kinda.. dumb, to act like its somehow morally superior to only enjoy oneself in a way that Builds Community or Has A Meaning. People do meaningless things because they enjoy doing them and so long as no one is being hurt, thats fine.

3. Replacing workers: This is the only argument that has Any weight, but its still a bad argument. Its absolutrly true that AI is gonna put people out of work. The fact that more people will be out of work and struggling is a bad thing. This is also what happens when literally any new technology is developed, dating all the way back to the industrial revolution (at the Very latest). Automation is almost always a massive net benefit to humanity (im aware this topic could be its own series of posts but You Know What I Mean, please dont start industrialization discourse here), and the fact that it puts people out of work isnt actually an argument against it. Lots of radio operators lost their job when telephones were invented, but that doesnt mean people should have never used the telephone and obstinately stuck with radios. When phone technology advanced, a lot of phone operators lost their jobs, but that doesnt mean people were Morally Wrong to use the new developments that made phones far more convenient.

As in all things, el problema es capitalismo; AI isnt preventing anyone from doing art, its just reducing how many people can get paid to do their art. The correct solution to automation putting people out of work is not to stop the wheel of tech development, but to change society so that one doesnt have to slave away in order to survive.

This also raises the adjacent point, which is that halting tech development like this is impossible. Once the cat is out of the bag, its not going back in. AI tech is going to develop and become more widespread and theres literally nothing you can do to stop that. If you want to be upset about that, its your perogative ig, but im gonna be excitedly waiting for the dam to break and we get an open source LLM that I can use without worrying about data privacy or corporate filters, so I can have fun and RP however much I want and finally be able to write the stuff I want to write but cant do on my own because I have adhd and chronic fatigue, and Id kinda prefer if people stopped trying to rain on my parade because they think im not having fun or creating art in the "right way".

EDIT: I did want to add one more thing! A US court ruled that you cant copywrite something created completely by an AI, and i think thats an awesome move and I hope it gets expanded a bit and spreads elsewhere. This isnt a position based on whether something produced in this way counts as "real art" or is morally bad or whatever, I just think that reducing corporate and IP grasp on anything is good, and that AI specifically is going to be most enjoyable when its free and open source.

[lemon-wedges]

Heey just wanted to tell you that I adore your art, especially the way you draw Barok. You humanised him in a way I've never seen an artist do. All your characters, but especially him, look like real, soft, approachable people. I can almost see their chests expanding, I can imagine them laughing and breathing, I can tell how in love your ships are, which is very special and very rare

Your art makes me extremely emotional

(also where did you study, what books did u read, how long did it take you to learn to draw like that??)

AH thank you for the sweet ask! it really made my day to hear this TTuTT

As for your other asks, ill put them undercut with some photos and links to stuff!!

I've been drawing for about ahhhh 16 years( 8 of which are actually like serious school stuff than just a hobby) but tbh its only really been in the last 3 where i feel like ive been making actual progress in improving my stuff. but thats my personal path in art and its always gonna be different for you or anyone else.

anyways 3 years ago i made some changes to my drawing habits and study methods that were like. real specific to where i wanted my art to go (cleaner lines, better foundations, gesture, etc etc). I worked on thing one at a time tho!! it can get overwhelming real quick if youre not careful. So the stuff im gonna give you is geared towards....well, me? both in content im searching for and just the classes that resonate how i like learning

OK BOOKS:

CLEANER LINES. I use to have a habit of making like EXTREMELY sketchy and unconfident lines. This is a landscape book that i literally just copied every single thumbnail. Helped me get into the habit of both using only a few strokes to get an idea across and breaking down complicated subjects into shapes

ANATOMY. Morpho series. Its not a how-to-book tho its just a compilation of an artists break downs. This one is my fav tho. And helped a lot when i was struggling to understand like ALL BODY PARTS

CLOTHING. This is probably my fav clothing book. Very short and published in the 1940s. Its helpful specifically to ME cause its clothing is closer to TGAA outfits(mens) than more modern books LOL

And now CLASSES. I do actually have an art degree from a university and let me tell you. I was left SEVERELY lacking any skills i needed to go into the industry I was interested in 👍 (not cause of the professors but cause the school itself was actively killing its art department :p) So i was kinda just left looking into online stuff on my own (AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE!!!! MY BELOVED AFFORABLE CLASSES )

NEW MASTERS ACADEMY. Its a subscription-have access to all the videos for a month to a year- kind of thing. cheapest is about $40 a month. REALLY REALLY helped my anatomy and foundations. Steve Huston: Good for entire step by step anatomy break downs. Micheal Mattesi & Karl Gnass: Gesture. I've watched a handful of other videos but these instructors were the most helpful to me

DRAWING AMERICA. A lot more pricey. Around $100-$300. but youre basically paying to own the recorded classes and keep them forever. I've only really taken Will Westons classes cause he focuses on BGS and props. But he also has some nice composition stuff thrown in there too.

(I've taken a LOT of online courses and the thing about a majority of them is that they arent really taught by professors or teachers so they tend to be more like a giant Tip video than an actual lesson plan. And if u haven't taken an art class before the difference is HUGE)

and i think thats it? i guess if theres anything else i can give u its this tip:

you mentioned my art is humanizing. Thats a comment ive heard a few times and i guess its odd to say but i dont really know what youre seeing? Like i understand the "ships in love" but cause i did go out of my way to draw sappy love faces 10 bajillion times until i was satisfied. But alive? hmmmmmm like THINK i might know what you may be responding to. Its a combo of the gesture and my effort in trying not to loose the energy of the original sketch when i go to clean it up. And what ive figured out is this. Youre not outlining or tracing your under sketch youre REDRAWING it .

i put the under sketch and clean up next to each other so hopefully this makes sense but like. when i do an under sketch im only really focused on building the figure. When u build a figure youre drawing out bigger shapes and breaking them down into smaller and smaller ones. Lines feel like they have more energy at this stage because the circles and cylinders are fully drawn out, making them have a continuous momentum. So then when it comes to the clean up stage. im not looking to trace the exact lines i drew out (if u notice my final isnt a 1 to 1 copy of the og) im trying to follow the flow of the original lines. thats why youll see lines go thru the figure sometimes, its me trying to keep the energy in that line even if its not suppose to be very long.

idk if this makes any sense at all.....and maybe i should have recorded me actually drawing this out but [shrug emoji] i could do it later if anyone is interesting in wtf is happening here. CAUSE I SWEAR ever since i started cleaning my sketches like this i started to get those comments. but also i could be wrong too.....then i REALLY dont know what im doing ahahahah

Anyways, i hope something in here ends up helping you anon!!! GOOD LUCK ARTING I BELIEVE IN YOU :O

[cheshire-castle-library]

hey! this is chance & here’s this week’s prompt. what websites or resources do you use while you write or develop a character/story? what do you think of them and would you recommend them?

Hello!! Been fighting a war of spoons this week, so sorry for the delay with this!

Honestly it would be magical if I had 1 single source I could rely on for writer's research, but Google is generally my starting point. After that here are the places I trust the information of:

Masterclass - there are a surprising number of articles and mini interviews for free written or influenced by the professional writers in the platform. One day I'll pay for the full service if only to hear Mr. Gaiman tell me his perspective on storytelling; but the free articles are really concise and informative for structure

Save the Cat Writes a Novel (its a book but there are references all over the internet to it as well) - definitely don't feel chained to what the method lays out!! But the nuances about what should happen in certain types of beats are a great push when you get stuck!!! But it's a really rigid beat sheet that probably won't 100% adhere to what you need it to be.

Behind the Name - actually discusses meanings and origins of cultural names!! This is a great way to get started or to help carve put a character who is a little too murky to write yet.

The Phrontistry - difficult to navigate on a time crunch since its not made for writers, but ctrl-f a key word helps. This place has lists and lists of DEAD WORDS!! Use it to name shit! Use it learn victorian and old english slang. Use it because you just like words. (By the way, a Phrontistry is "a place meant for thinking", so a Zen garden is a phrontistry!!)

My Uni Library Website - this is a privilege I know, but if you can get access to academic sources on arts and cultures it really changes the way you can respectfully draw inspiration from other cultures!!

4TheWords - this is the ADHD buster! Its down at the time I wrote this, but it's a website that gamifies writing so its not just a timer like in writing sprints, every word you type goes to "defeating a monster". You so quests like any mmo and I've legitimate written over 50k in under 30 days because brain goes into panic "it doesn't have to be good" mode and I can get stuff done! Its not totally free, but the micropurchases are actually micro snd you can earn time as well as buy it. They have to make ends meet so i can't be mad

Writer.bighugelabs.com - ive used this online typewriter for like 5+ years. Lifetime membership is 99$ and it goes to the one guy who made it keeping it running. It's got an offline mode and document history so just as long as you are careful and you preload the tab, you don't need data on your netbook/chromebook/ipad to write. It's no markdown, just words on page, it makes typewriter noises, and it looks like a dos command prompt. If you pay for it, you can customize colours, and ive used it for everything from timed exams to emails to novel chapters.

Obsidian.md - free program you can get as an app or on desktop that lets you make basically your own wiki. I've posted about it for my studies, but you can just make your own wiki about your novel, or choose to write directly into it. It supports markdown and latex-like formulae so I've literally written reports in it.

Also like,,,, don't be afraid to use the blogs of other writers! They have experience you could use. But I try to avoid posts that are "7 tips to write x y z" or "never do p q r when writing" because they just get in my head and are generally highly opinionated and are not objectively correct.

I do use, reblog, and strongly support resource and psa type posts though!! Some beautiful human has been making "ways to write [emotion]" posts on tumblr and that person I would like to kiss. They are useful information-based and example-based posts that are just like "and here are some oprions" instead of giving people who are already prone to second guessing themselves (writers) more things to fear cause them "should i even try, what if im cringe and everyone roasts my work" anxiety. ((If people are gonna roast your work, they will nitpick it apart regardless of whether you reinvented My Immortal or wrote the spiritual successor to This Is How You Lose The Time War, so like,,, please just write @me and everyone else who needs to hear that.))

I also advise at least skimming posts about demographics you are not in, especially the ones about how they want to be represented and how it's appropriate to include that in your narrative structure. If you are not in that demographic, you - by definition - cannot fully understand what it's like to be the people who are. Therefore you should to do some quality research and maybe be willing to ask questions of people to make sure you don't fall into stereotypes/virtue signaling/etc.

Finally, *inhales*: WIKIPEDIA!

Yes anyone can edit it, but you know who does??? Coffee riddled neurodivergent individuals with a passion for that one obscure thing you were shocked to find on Wikipedia.

Use the information as a primer, and then to to the sources and try to track down more specific and more "reliable" information. But Wikipedia is usually enough if you are like designing creatures and stuff like that. I don't need amphibious biology research to design an axolotl-like alien sentient lifeform.

That being said, I'm not going to stay limited to wikipedia when i go to learn about xolotl and the culture that named axolotls in order to make sure i don't just steal one animal and a naming convention but also pay some respect and homage to the spirit of the animal and related irl folklore. But finding relatable and first hand cultural sources is very case by case.

[furballfaggot]

my buddy convinced me to make an animal jam play wild account since it actually still gets proper updates and so far my feelings have been. mixed. overall i havent done nearly as much as anyone else bc my account has existed for maybeee 2 or 3 hours? so this is just my first impressions. im also kinda biased bc ive been playing animal jam classic for years and years and YEARS. back when 9 + 10 = 21 was still unironically funny and every cool kid in class read warriors. might update this post with extra thoughts as i go along! all opinions below the cut bc this is an absurdly long post

ive only played a few levels of overflow (and it might be because i played on expert because i Definitely have no overbearing hubris casting a shadow upon my better judgement) but the gem payout being higher than AJC for each level you complete is a very welcome change (2 gems times X number, seemingly determined by how long your path is, vs AJPWs i think it was like 5 gems times X number determined by how long your path is? either that or like 10. idk i blew a whole half hour on overflow alone and it was almost 6 AM by the time i finished so my brains kinda muddled)

also, membership has become far less of an overbearing nightmare monster for AJPW in comparison to AJC! thats a good thing! personally i think that membership just Shouldn't but thats because i think any monetarily-accessed subscription anythings just Shouldn't especially in this day and age. i got to go to the clothing store and buy things i liked and i didnt just have to longingly stare at the paywalled options like a maiden gazing out to sea and it felt great

dont like how theres so many fewer options for shopping for Like Everything but its a far more ambitious game than AJC what with everything being 3d modeled, and its got a younger target demo and theyre usually happy with whatever looks cool, so it checks out. haha. funny pun that was intended definitely. whats there is also pretty great and the den item options you get started off with are both way more cool and way more More than classic in its hayday. idk about the ajc starting den items now though i dug my old account from the ashes of who i once was when i decided to pick classic up again. i dont actually remember if you start with any den items in ajc now that i think about it i might be misremembering. that still means play wild has that point against classic though. shame theres no water animals but they could maybe possibly be added in an update pretty please wildworks if by some miracle youre reading this i am begging and pleadi

really my main issue so far is with how many things cost real-world money. theres next to nothing that requires a membership to even be bought aside from one members-only map location my buddy warned me about beforehand -- which, as a reluctant f2p since literally like 5th grade, ive been playing this game for Far too long, i do genuinely appreciate -- but boy oh boy you can sure tell this was mainly developed as a mobile game. there is so much pay-real-money-for-trinkets stuff and you just Cannot disable that menu. at least let me get rid of the little button that tells me i can spend the hard-earned bucks on moms credit card to get 1/4th the amount of animals of AJC man thats all i ask of this part

also this is largely unrelated but can i just say i DESPISE how many things are like "hi heres a welcome bonus :) oh but you need to pay like 3 bucks for it. yeah its usually 5 but for a Special New Player Like You? its a steal!" like thats not a welcome bonus thats an entry fee. i know thats like a paltry amount of money compared to most things Just Ever but its also coming from a guy whos family usually has zero money to spare

[br1ghtestlight]

20 questions for fic writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3

23

2. What’s your total word count?

109,996

3. What fandoms do you write for?

bob's burgers, inanimate insanity and there's like one steven universe fic in there. i have written for other fandoms in the past but not on that account lol (and mostly unpublished)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

zeke running away fic, genderfluid gene fic, louise hat fic, bob mom fic, tinimmy week fic (the problem with naming all my fanfics after really long complicated song lyrics is that i simply will not actually call the fanfictions by their Actual Name. also not linking them bcuz im lazy)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i always try to respond to comments but tbh people dont comment on my work very often?? i also dont reply to comments on my old account bcuz i dont have access to it anymore

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont know if ive ever written anything angsty tbh?? thats not really my favorite thing because it makes me too sad. out of my published fanfics probably the fic about bob's mom wins by default and out of my unpublished wips uhh maybe my louise and tina focused fanfic. it has a happy ending (maybe) but its a real downer at times. or maybe my tinimmy fic is bittersweet depending on how you read it

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

maybe my fanfic where bob gets a garden LMAO or my genderfluid gene fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no!!! actually a secret about me in that my almost 10 years posting art fanfics etc online i have never gotten a single negative comment on anything ive made. i feel very lucky :)

9. Do you write smut?

never have and never will (nothing wrong with it in most contexts but im asexual and smut is extremely Not My Thing. i actually tried writing a smut fic once to challenge myself a few years ago and spent like 1000 words describing the way the candles were lit in their bedroom before i realized its simply not for me and thats fine)

10. Do you write crossovers?

no but if my hyperfixations ever gave me an opportunity to crossover maybe?? any bob's burgers character on the infinity train would be hilarious. any hfjone character would be heartbreaking

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont remember but im gonna go with probably not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN but im too much of a perfectionist w/ my writing and i would be worried about dragging the other person down with me. maybe if my ocd ever gets medicated idk

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

it depends on my mood but right now i have been thinking abt tina and jimmy jr a lot. not even romantically their relationship is just so interesting. jimmy jr/zeke/tina is also great. marshall lee and gary.... bryce and liam??

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i have like over 30+ wips so thats probably a lot of them FJDMDMSJSKS something i would love to finish at some point but probably never will is a fanfic about how bob and linda overcame the cycle of abuse with their own childhood memories vs how they are with their kids. maybe i could write that with somebody else and we each do like a chapter at a time (they write linda's memories and i write bob's etc)

16. What are your writing strengths?

people always tell me that im really good at capturing character's voices and personalities and making them feel in character?? i always want my stories to feel like something that could actually happen in-universe and make it make sense with the characters etc. i think part of this comes from working w/ my own ocs and thinking so hard about how different people express and communicate things and then applying that to other characters is easy. and bcuz of how my autism works i can memorize how a person or character constructs sentences and create new sentences inside my head in their voice :D i really pay attention to peoples speaking patterns & how they phrase things

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably how perfectionist i am about grammar and using certain words phrases punctuation etc that it takes FOREVER to get anything done. i also think im too wordy. i can turn a fifteen word sentence into a fifty word sentence easily which is great for essays but kinda annoying when you're reading a silly bobs burgers fanfic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i dont mind doing it for my ocs but to my knowledge none of the bob's burgers characters speak another language as their native language?? so i cant see it coming up in anything i write

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i dont really wanna say bcuz its embarrassing and i was pretty young LMAO but it was like youtuber fanfic on wattpad (wayy before whatever youtubers you're thinking of they were never famous)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

hmm either my tinimmy week fic or my genderfluid gene fic it changes depending on the day. right now its my tinimmy week fanfic <3

[raid3r-r4bbit]

someone broke into my apartment. I havent been on because the only thing i have that i can access the internet on is my work computer ( i can get into trouble for using even spotify on that) and my switch ( just got it last monday. in another situation id be ecstatic about getting a new game system, but right now im just glad i didnt leave it out in the open)

Firstly, sorry if the formatting weird, im not used to my new phone yet.

Secondly im sorry for the people who wanted drawings from me, im gonna try my best to recreate them and post them.

Thirdly, this is really fucking long, tldr, someone broke it, let one of my cats out stole my tablet, phone, and a bunch of my games so thats why i was gone. read for details? I guess? I wouldnt lol.

also fuck you theres typos, of course theres gonna be typos.

SO…

small town does not equal no crime. After the (insert wherever the power comes from) was fixed, it has some issues and shut down again a few days later. idk why. My rm and i decided to walk to the gas station for lunch, they had power, music, cold drinks and food, and bathrooms that have functioning lights. Our landlord said it would only be a few hours, so we used our backup battery packs ( yes the ones we’re only supposed to use for work or incase of emergency) to power a fan and opened a window (the little net thing closed) for the cats and left.

because we were only going to be away for an hour, i left my phone (by accident) and tablet on the couch. in plain view of the window.

well, we have a lot of college students who walk directly by out porch ( i even had a girl threaten to call the cops on me for smoking… on my own fuckin porch) and two other girls who decided it was public chatting place and were upset that interupted them wheni asked them to leave.)

we dont know if it was a college student, or someone else, called the cops and got it all sorted there wasnt much they could do ( figures)

they came in through the window, and we think they either left it open, or that Patches, one of my cats, got out when the opened it, because she was gone when we came home, and she liked to hang out by the window. Thankfully, miso hates going outside, and katsu is scared of everyone and hides when people come over. we still havent found patches. im not worried about her, she didnt really like us, she isnt declawed, and she was orginally an outdoor cat anyways. we left out food and water and liter for her, but if she comes back she comes back. ive lost enough animals not fret over it. (tbh if it was on of the other two id probably sob)

but whoever broke in stole a bunch of my game stuff. we dont think they even went into out bedrooms, cause nothing was out of place. it took me realizing some of out stuff, the cat and the askew window (what the fuck is that thing called??) to realize we’d been robbed. ( well me actually, my roomate keeps all his stuff in his room which is fair because other than HBO i pay for all the streaming services, and i (thankfully still have) 4 consoles, which wont fit in my tiny ass room.)

they took my phone and tablet. (not worried about the phone, it was some dinky burner phone) a package off our porch ( it was mario kart, i got a switch like last monday, and the only game i have is animal crossing. very fun. thankfully, id left it on my desk.) they also took a few of my games, thankfully i have duplicates of most of the ones they took and digital copies.

ironically, the version of TLOU and FO4 (i have 4 copies of fo4 including the digital copy) were the scratched up versions, they did take my copy of infamous for the ps3. and they also took my unopened copy of RDR2. so like, pricey items but the only thing im upset about are my tablet and my cat.

for those wanting the drawings i promised, i will still get them to you, thankfully i had a warranty on it and its getting replaced after the police finish whatever it is they say they do. ( doubtful) so it may take a hot minute.

however it also means i have to completely restart my issue 2 of my comic, as i hadn't saved the final pages and the wips anywhere other than my phone and tablet. personally, im frustrated, but it gives me a chance to change a few wee details and try out a style ive been thinking on.

so im probably not going to be super super active for the next few (idk how long, im sorry) but i will draw what i said i would.

As for patches, i told my mom if she comes back pregnant ( again -_-) that we are going to yeet her into a rocket to live with the martians, and get a new cat. (or if she doesnt come back. we work best with a three cat ratio) if its boy we are probably going to name him garbanzo. (this is mostly a joke, but she was intended to be temporary as a friend of mine couldnt keep her anymore and we had been looking for a home for her. surprisingly, nobody wanted a super chill calico who enjoyed nothing but food and sitting directly on your trachea.)

anyways, im tired. ill be patiently waiting for my new tablet and trying to make my ACNH island as destroyed and apocalyptic as possible. (new squared? i got the other one for my birthday last year, so its been almost a year exactly. my birthdays on the 28th <_< >_> if anyones interested in knowing.)

sorry if this is a ramble. im high af and somewhere in between pissed off, depressed, and overly happy about tiny little animals and bells.

[lilacponds]

my mom needs to stop willfully ignoring actual problems to be dramatic

me: yea i know my legs hurt because i havent really been walking a lot, but i cant walk a lot because my foot hurts, its a vicious cycle

my mom: OH SO NOW YOU CANT WALK? YOURE GONNA NEED A WHEELCHAIR?

and im just sitting here like why do you think i want to see a better doctor. do you think i have fun being in pain. and honestly? i would be lying if i said i havent thought about using a wheelchair in the future! its more trouble than its worth at the moment for multiple reasons, but if my pain gets worse and more constant? yeah, i wouldnt be surprised if one day i'd have to use a wheelchair.

nevermind that i already know i cant walk very far distances even with my cane. sure, the foot pain can be pretty random, but i know it'll definitely flare up if i walk too long, and there's a discussion to be had there that i'll make in a separate post with a readmore because it has triggering stuff.

if i had the money for a wheelchair, lived somewhere with an elevator (or on the ground floor), and my city's streets were better, i would be seriously considering it, you know? it's exhausting not being able to go outside because i know i'll be in pain.

i can't go to the library. you know that? i want to go so bad, sometimes. or even to the promenade, near the beach, just be where the life is - i mean, i can if i pay for a bus ticket. but able-bodied people have access to these places for free because they can walk. it's not the distance - not really - it's the overpass. bridge? it goes over a canal and the train tracks. its between my house and where the life is. sure, this side of the overpass has people, schools, stores - but there's nothing for me here. its not where people hang out, just where they pass by. theres nothing here. but oh, on the other side of the overpass? thats my terabithia. theres way more shops full with curios that are fun just to look at. there are so many people to watch! there are seagulls and pigeons hopping around, there's the bookshop you can always stop in without buying something just to see whats new on the shelves, theres the beach, and the sea, and the pier! (if we want to dip into money talk, there's the best granita ever on that pier as well, and an arcade. an arcade! thats the only arcade ive ever seen) theres the library, and sometimes, sometimes theres people having fun on the streets. theres this one guy who likes to hang around, and he makes giant soap bubbles, and he entertains children and adults alike. one shop he was near once tried to complain about him and get him sent away, and people flocked together to support him. i was there, with my own little bubbles, just like many others, and we all blew bubbles together with him. (that shop closed, later. unsure how related the two things were, but the nice old man is still there sometimes, blowing bubbles and making children laugh.) i saw a small circus-like parade, once - so many people, but i remember a man in stilts and i remember looking up, and i remember the joy in my heart.

theres life over there.

and im poor and disabled. and im stuck over here.

[anarchistbitch]

well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

What was that tv show you were in omg? You've done soooo much!!

hahaha I will never tell the name, but it is still on youtube, and we did beat Jimmy Kimmel and Family Guy in the Nielsen ratings with no budget 😎👌🏻 (i was the only one getting paid basically, and what i was paid was peanuts haha) that was back in 2010 tho and it’s all i’ll give you because i’m still stalked to this day xD

[aro-culture-is]

hi its the anon who's friends went through their phone.

this may be really personal and you dont need to answer, but i was wondering how you managed to leave your friends. ive known these people for years but they recently turned really nasty and i want out. i cant figure out how to cut ties because they've been part of my life for so long and have kind of infected all of my life.

thanks for any advice you can give

hi,

honestly anon, I can't recommend getting out the way I did. I was 12, hormonal as all hell, depressed, and abused - I heard one critique too many and got into a very public screaming match with her. That said, there is one thing I did right and that I would recommend.

as much as is possible, develop a support network outside of that group and their influence. I don't know your age, but if applicable - trusted adults, peers, therapists, whatever you can access. Even if there's one other person you feel comfortable with, it helps to know that you won't be alone. If you're worried to communicate via your phone - consider putting a passcode on whatever app you plan to communicate with, not staying logged in, or using one of those 'hideaway' apps. Make an alt acct if you need to.

From there, the actual leaving... is honestly most dependent on the group and your safety. If you have to interact with them regularly, I'd advise going "gray rock" (or the youtube video which taught me the name of what I'd been doing: second link) - but PLEASE pay attention to the "do not tell them you are going gray rock" part. Tw for ableism against cluster B personality disorders, I honestly can't find references without it. With regards to leaving, please don't be upset with yourself if you find that you've ended up back with them again. It isn't your fault. Think about what you can do to prevent that next time, in a practical sense.

I would caution against warning them, or talking to them about leaving. Depending on how antagonistic they are, that's often going to cause them to increase their investigations, if not actively sabotage your ability to leave. This is a situation where ghosting can be the best way to protect yourself. Again, it depends on your situation - I'm giving a lot of worst case advice. But... if you have any questions of your safety, DO NOT TELL THEM.

i hope this helps, and i wish you the best anon. i can't promise everything will be fixed right away. what i can promise is that people who respect your boundaries will be so much better for you, and that you deserve that.

- mod kee

[pinoy-culture]

before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

[zelzenik]

all of her longing

prompts 19 & 20 of @zutaramonth 2021: hurt/comfort & longing

Three times Katara asks Zuko for a baby... and the first time Zuko says yes.

click here to read on ao3 or keep reading below the cut!

i.

“Zuko?” Katara whispers into the darkness. She flips onto her side, a few dark curls slipping over her shoulders.

It’s been almost an hour since Zuko dimmed the lights in their room with his bending and a single flick of his wrist. She can tell that he’s just about ready to drift off to sleep when he replies, “Yes, Katara?” His voice is a soft rasp as he shifts his position so that he can face her, reaching out and drawing her close.

Tucked securely beneath her husband’s chin, curled up against his warm body, Katara somehow finds the courage to admit, “Zuko… I think I want a baby.” She can feel the way his muscles tense as he registers what she said.

All of a sudden, Zuko’s more than awake. “What?” He pulls back slightly so that he can glance down at her, golden eyes earnestly searching her face.

“I want a baby,” Katara repeats, her brows furrowing.

Cupping her face with his hands, Zuko presses a kiss to her forehead, hiding a laugh, “Katara, we’ve been married for all of two weeks, and you want a baby?”

Katara isn’t joking, though. “We’ve been together for all of two years now, Zuko.” It’s true. Katara was only seventeen when she began courting the Fire Lord, and now, at nineteen, she finds herself married to him, sharing his bed and holding his tender heart in her careful hands.

“You’re… You’re not serious, Katara,” Zuko manages to choke out in reply. Upon realizing just how earnest on the matter she actually is, his golden eyes suddenly fill with an anxiety that she hasn’t seen from him in years. “I… Katara, it’s too soon for us to have children.”

In this moment, Katara knows that it’s better to drop it than press further. So she does, for her husband’s sake. She remains quiet, wrapping her arms around his bare waist, rubbing soothing circles into the small of his back.

Above all else, above her maternal instincts, above her deep desire to have children, Katara loves Zuko. And, when he hides his face in the crook of her neck, she holds him tightly, peppering kisses along his skin, whispering words of comfort for whatever pain that grips him in the dark of the night. “It’ll be okay, Zuko.”

ii.

“You’re quite distracted, Fire Lady Katara,” Zuko notes, his voice teasing. “Like what you see?”

They’re sparring in the courtyard, both sweating lightly from the pervasive Fire Nation humidity. Seamlessly gliding in and out of forms, they dance around each other in a way that’s unbelievably familiar but still manages to keep them on their toes.

With a coy smirk, Katara arches her back, narrowly avoiding a fiery kick to the face. “So what if I do?” She’s light on her feet as she launches herself away from him, pulling streams of water along behind her.

“I should hope you do,” Zuko replies, rolling his eyes lightly. He pursues her, though, just as he always has over the past five years.

Before they know it, their sparring is long forgotten as they tear down the hallway together with reckless abandon. By the time they reach their chambers, they’re both breathless, panting heavily as Zuko nearly shoves open the front door.

As soon as they’re both inside, Zuko shuts the door behind them, pinning Katara against a wall, hovering over her. The air grows thick with tension as he brushes her nose with his, broad arms caging her in on either side.

“Katara,” he murmurs, pressing kisses along her jawline. “Katara, I love you.”

Tipping her head back slightly, giving him better access to the soft skin of her neck, Katara allows her eyes to close, blissfully. “I love you, Zuko…”

The windows to their room are still open, and their skin glistens beneath the afternoon sun. Their limbs tangle, and Zuko’s fingers run along the curve of her waist, skimming beneath the blue fabric of her simple training tunic.

They’re a mess, really, but they’re a mess together.

Katara doesn’t mean to ask, but the question tumbles from her lips before she can stop it. “Zuko… What if we tried for a baby?”

This time, Zuko seems perfectly content pretending as though he didn’t hear her, far more interested in the bottom edge of her tunic than her question. He pushes her toward the bed and hovers over her, love shining in his eyes.

“Zuko?”

His eyes seem to shift back into focus as he meets her gaze. “Yes?”

“Can we try for a baby?” She asks, completely in earnest. “We’ve been married for several weeks now, and I just…”

Zuko sits up, pressing shaky fingers to his temples. “I… I don’t know, Katara. The council barely approved our marriage to begin with. I don’t know if springing a baby on them so soon would be wise.”

Rolling off the bed, Katara begins to rummage through their closet, looking for a fresh set of robes to change into, hiding her disappointment. “Yes… You’re… You’re probably right, Zuko. We can wait.”

iii.

There’s something very peaceful about the turtleduck pond that had once belonged to Zuko’s mother. Standing at the edge of the water, soft waves lapping at her bare ankles, Katara breathes in once, then twice.

After receiving several pointed comments from various members of the council regarding the current insecurity of Zuko’s line, Katara fled to the pond. Under normal circumstances, she would have snapped back at them in an instant, but now, she’s all too aware of the fact that she’s a nineteen year old girl that many of the more traditional council members believe to be merely a figurehead. Deep down, though, she’s also mindful of the fact that, in some regards, she agrees with them.

This is a subject that she and Zuko have spoken of on several occasions before getting married.

Children.

Really, after the sheer amount of conversations they had during their courtship regarding becoming parents one day, Katara would’ve expected a more positive reception from Zuko when discussing carrying on their family line. She thought that they were of one mind on this, that they’d look toward starting a family as soon as they were married.

But, no… They’re married, and Zuko’s shied away from the topic twice now, and Katara can’t bring herself to push him too far, too soon.

Kneeling beside the pond, Katara doesn’t pay the clods of mud and loose grass any mind as she trails her fingers along the surface of the water. A few turtleducks swim nearby, occasionally daring to quack in her general direction. The air is balmy, and she basks in the gentle warmth of the day.

“Katara?” Zuko appears beneath an archway leading toward the gardens. “I thought I’d find you here.” Then, he’s by her side in an instant, looking down on her kneeling form with concern. “I’ve scolded the council members who spoke out of turn soundly. They had no right to make such remarks toward you.”

Her lips twist into a frown. “I can fend for myself, Zuko.” She can. And she does, when the situation calls for it.

Zuko seems taken aback. “I know that… I just… I didn’t want them speaking of you in such a way.”

“Thank you,” Katara replies simply. “But while I disagree with their delivery and the methods by which they convey such a message, I can’t help but think that perhaps what they say has some merit.”

“You’re not some… harlot or concubine with whom I’m supposed to conceive children, Katara.” Zuko looks scandalized.

Katara’s temper flares as frost forms at her fingertips. “No. I’m not. I’m your wife. Your wife, Zuko.” She stands abruptly, water she doesn’t bother to bend away dripping from her robes. “We spoke about children before getting married, and Dad and Iroh aren’t getting any younger, and we have the security of a nation to think of, and… I was under the impression that we… that we weren’t going to waste any more time.”

“Waste any more time?” Zuko repeats, hurt clouding his eyes. “How is any moment I spend with you a waste of time?” He stumbles backward, nearly tripping on his long robes.

Almost instantly, Katara’s anger dissipates. The surface of the water toward the edges of the pond have begun to crackle with ice, but she steps away from it before she causes any further damage, turtleducks quacking indignantly. “Zuko…” She reaches for her husband, gripping his warm hands in her freezing ones. “I didn’t mean it that way…”

Zuko stands rooted to the ground in silence, allowing her to trace his palms with her thumbs.

Then, Katara reaches out to tug her husband into her arms, not bothering to heed her drenched robes. “Zuko, I love you.” She rests her head against his chest, hoping that the tears glistening along her lashes go unnoticed. “We can talk about this some other time.”

iv.

“Katara?” Zuko lingers just outside of her study, a hand resting on the doorframe.

Fingers stained with ink, her hair piled atop her head in a way that’s likely quite unfitting for a Fire Lady, Katara lifts her head, meeting her husband’s gaze. “Yes, Zuko?”

He steps into the room uncertainly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as he stands by her side. “Are you… Are you feeling okay?”

Forgetting that she’s covered in ink, Katara pinches the bridge of her nose lightly. “Of course.” She’s buried in paperwork and notices and letters, and she’s very likely overworking herself, but she’s also happy, helping others, serving Zuko’s people and, by extension, her own.

A ragged sigh slips from Zuko’s lips as he tugs an empty chair forward so that he can sit beside her. “Katara… I’ve given everything a lot of thought, and I think that I’m finally ready to talk.”

“To talk?” Katara repeats, her brows furrowing. “Talk about what?”

Zuko dips her brush back in its ink well and scoots her parchments across the table. “Children.”

Instantly, Katara’s eyes fill with worry. “We don’t have to – Really. Not until you’re ready.”

“Thank you, Katara,” Zuko replies, his voice a light rasp. “But I think that I am ready, now.”

So, Katara stills her body and gives him her full attention, correspondence and paperwork long forgotten.

“I’m… scared.” Zuko’s confession is soft enough that she almost doesn’t catch it the first time. “I’m really scared.” He clarifies, “I’m scared to have children. You know as well as anybody that I don’t really give a damn about what the council says, as long as they’re not hurting you or our people. But I’ve been using them as an excuse because I haven’t been sure of how to explain this to you.”

Carding his hands through his hair, Zuko unties his topknot, dropping his Fire Lord’s crest onto her desk. “I love you, Katara, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been more clear about how I feel or what I’m thinking.” He hangs his head, suddenly looking less like a twenty one year old man and more like a sixteen year old boy. “When we’d spoken about children in the past, it had always felt so distant, so far away in the future.”

Zuko continues, “But now the council’s pressuring us for an heir, and we’ve only been married for a month or two, and I guess I wasn’t expecting for everything to happen so fast.” He steals a glance at her when he thinks she’s not looking. “I don’t want to be like my father, Katara.”

And suddenly, it all makes sense.

“I don’t want to be like my father,” Zuko repeats again, stronger and with more conviction. “The thought of having children scares me because I don’t know who I’ll become with them around or who they’ll become with me as a dad.” He laughs bitterly, “I’ve always known that you would make a wonderful mother, Katara. I just didn’t have confidence that I would be a good father.”

Katara softens, opening her arms so that he can collapse lightly against her. “Zuko… I’m sorry for all the times in the past where I’ve pushed you.” She drops his gaze. “I had no idea.” Running her fingers through his messy hair, she presses a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for sharing this with me… And, for what it’s worth, I think you’ll be a wonderful father one day.”

“I think so too,” Zuko agrees in a whisper, as though saying it too loud will cause it not to come true. Then, he flicks his gaze from her eyes to her lips and back again. “Hey… Katara. Ask me again.”

“What?” She nearly laughs, tugging him even closer.

Zuko’s expression shifts, the features of his face softening with joy. “Ask me if we can have a baby.” He pulls her onto his lap, allowing their limbs to tangle despite their heavy robes.

It’s as though the wind’s been knocked out of her. “Can we have a baby, Zuko?”

“Let’s have a baby, Katara.” Zuko surges forward to kiss her again, and they’re both nearly delirious with happiness. “I’m ready now… We can have a baby,” he whispers.

And those are the sweetest words Katara’s ever heard.

[johannesviii]

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

So

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out