#ive done both. both feel weird :/

[slavhew]

do you ever get reminded of a ship, remember a piece of fanart of it that you loved, then after a day long search realize that you just imagined it? and then try to draw it yourself?

prllb btbtt ALT VERISONS

[the-heron]

congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man

[yuwuta]

If megumi asked uzhsjdhshd omg I totally see it tbh him wanting you, but I don't think megumi would ever ask yuuji to share you, in any type of way at all. (not trying to push my own hc here!!) I feel like yuuji himself would be the one asking megumi. Yuuji knows that he's yours just as much as he knows you're his. And he loves you too much, a lot, it's purest type of love he has ever felt for anyone. And megumi is his best friend, he loves him just as much, right? Yes, not the same love between you and him ofc but yes. And I have no idea what they were doing but yuuji's just says, kind of out of the blue, that he'd let megumi fuck you. The reason being exactly cause he knows you're his, and you're just so so good that he needs to have someone to talk to (about you and always so respectfully) and who better that his best friend?

you’re opening the pandora’s box that is itfs + reader…. god….. 

okok i agree. if you’re dating yuuji, megumi would never ask, yuuji would be the one to bring all three of you together. definitely because he loves you and you’re his, and he loves megumi too, so it just makes sense that his two favorite people also get to have each other—but also, yuuji can tell megumi likes you, and he can tell you think megumi is attractive and since yuuji’s so nice, what kinder thing to do than to set you two up so he can watch (: he definitely enjoys being the mediator, also enjoys the somewhat awkward air between you and megumi, how yeah, maybe it’s a little taboo that the two of you are about to make out while you’re boyfriend watches, but yuuji likes that too… also he likes knowing that you both like him. like how lucky is he that his best friend and his girlfriend adore him so much :(( you two together makes so much sense in his head, because he talks to megumi about you, and he talks to you about megumi, and now, he can just pour all his love for both of you out at the same time

but also…. i’d like to think that yuuji’s maybe not so nice when it’s the other way around—when he and megumi get together first, and you’re megumi’s best friend. he’s not mean, but he does like to tease... how naughty of megumi to ask out yuuji knowing he’s still got a crush on you, and god does yuuji like to tease him about it :/ jerks him off and taunts about how he knows megumi’s dirty little secret—that he’s in love with his best friend and fantasizes not just about having you, but about watching his own boyfriend fuck you too… 

yuuji knows megumi would take his feelings for you to the grave if he could (he’d have done the same with his feelings for yuuji if yuuji wasn’t the one to ask him out), but where’s the fun in that! you and megumi are sooo cute together after all, so yuuji doesn’t mind trying to get you two to confess to each other too. uses his proximity to megumi to get closer to you, takes advantage of his bubbly disposition to be physically affectionate with you, uses megumi’s feelings to his advantage to tease, to wink, to smirk whenever you and yuuji hug a little longer, when he texts megumi that he’s meeting up with you for lunch, when he gives you his jacket and doesn’t ask for it back… there’s so much fun in watching megumi blush and whine and get off at the thought of his best friend and his boyfriend together. and the thing is, yuuji genuinely does like you, too, he sees what megumi sees in you, and he thinks megumi is crazy to have not asked you out before, but he supposes everything happens for a reason, because now, this way, yuuji gets to be there and watch it all happen under his guidance. there’s something about the power, about being the bridge between you two even though you and megumi have known each other for much longer, about being in control of a dynamic that could have, but wouldn’t exist without him…

[brains-out-rn]

I don't like debating much(unless necessary for the sake of my own humanity) but sometimes it can be really Really fun specifically if it's about something that has absolutely no real weight to it(and yet if you were a spectator it might cause some concern for whatever reason)

for example: would you rather be threatened(physically mentally or emotionally take your pick) by a can of corn or a cob of corn?

Me personally I'd pick cob for a few reasons

1. I can outlast it(probably)

Fresh corn will eventually rot and decay but have you seen how long canned stuff can last unopened before it looks slightly different from new stuff??

2. Cans are made of metal not vegetable flesh

While a corn cob has its core that's not metal. Ever dropped a can? Might get a dent. If you have a good kick then you might survive but you will probably hurt your foot. Ever dropped corn? If it had it outer leaves and hair it might have stood a chance but if it didn't then bits of corn go everywhere

3. Actually fighting if needed

I feel like I could survive a fight with a sentient can but a sentient cob just seems less likely to hurt

However there are some things might change my decision

Like issue one which is how the corn moves because if the cob is fresh with hair and leaves and can move all the little hairs individually and can move the leaves then I'd probably choose the can because at that point I feel like it's less of "how would i survive with the least amount of bruising" and more of "how would I rather die but with a chance of surviving" and in my opinion i think blunt force trauma would be better then a slow death of strangulation via a sentient corns hair plus I do think I'd have a chance against a can of corn

Another issue is if it was mentally or emotionally I'd probably go with the can bc I feel like it would be easier for to rationalize it as ridiculous to be threatened by a can of corn then a cob for some reason

Like a cob is ridiculous to the point that I'd just accept it as making sense for that to happen?

a can is like "why am I listening to the can of corn. I literally own a can opener." But a cob is more like "if I were to try and deal with you in the traditional way of dealing with corn that would mean a pot and water and time and-"

Plus idk why but I feel like a cob would be less mean with its words. I can't explain it I just think cob would just go straight to physical threats instead of emotional ones but a can would stare at you menacingly making you question yourself and just judging you

[indiegame]

woof woof what a week

[privatelife]

y'all who actually have partners,, what is a text ice breaker to start conversation? im really bad at it 😭

it feels important to note that when we do talk, the conversation flows great we have a nice rapport and complimentary senses of humors it's just starting the conversation that is the problem i think we are both just painfully shy 😔 (and maybe traumatized .)

[lordsardine]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[scarletiswailing347]

you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk

[genderdog]

how do therapists typically react when you say you think you have something

[avesseloflanguage]

mildly and perpetually baffled by lauren gunderson's urge to add a failed/unrequited romance (that never happened irl) for her real historical female characters in her historical plays based on real historical times/events/women

[chisungie]

.

[kingdomkome]

is this series fast-paced or am i simply reading too fast

[aquaholicsanonymousworld]

Obsessed with your Dr. Robby writing!!! I need to see your take on obviously jealous Robby where a patient flirts with the reader while she fixes him up and everyone picks up on it the jealousy (and find it hilarious) except the reader who is just like “???”

Tension at The Pitt

Pairing: Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavich x Surgeon!Reader

Summary: Being a surgeon at The Pitt meant handling chaos with a level head. You were used to high-pressure situations, fast decisions, and—unfortunately—inappropriate comments from trauma patients. What you weren’t used to was Dr. Robby getting tense over it.

The moment they wheeled the trauma patient into the ER, you knew it was going to be a long night.

Gunshot wound, mid-30s, conscious but way too cocky for someone actively bleeding out.

“You’re a pretty one,” the guy grunted as you checked his vitals.

You didn’t react. Didn’t even look at him. Just focused on stabilizing him. “BP’s low. We need to get him to the OR.”

But he wasn’t done.

“I must be dying,” he groaned dramatically. “Because there is no way an angel like you is real.”

From across the room, you heard the sharp snap of gloves.

You felt it before you even saw it—Dr. Robby stiffening beside you, shoulders tensing as he prepped the IV line.

You ignored both of them. Kept working.

But the patient loved an audience.

“Come on, Doc,” he said, shooting you a weak grin. “Let me take you out after this. I mean, after you save my life, obviously.”

“I’m literally about to crack open your chest,” you deadpanned.

“Damn,” he groaned, wincing as you adjusted the pressure on his wound. “I love a woman in control.”

That’s when Robby’s jaw clenched. Tight.

You didn’t see it, but you felt it in the air, the quiet but dangerous shift in his energy.

Still, you stayed focused. “Get the OR prepped,” you ordered.

He looked between you and Robby—who was now standing very still, his hand flexing at his side like he was trying very hard not to react.

And then the patient let out a breathless laugh. “Woah, man. What are you—her boyfriend or something?”

The room froze. Silence. Thick, loaded silence.

You didn’t stop working. Didn’t even blink. But you felt everyone’s eyes shift to Robby.

The patient was smirking, but it was weaker now. Like he had finally clocked the tension in the room.

Robby inhaled slowly, carefully. Then, in the calmest voice you’d ever heard from him, he muttered—“Let’s just focus on keeping you alive, alright?”

His tone was light, controlled, but there was something dangerous underneath. Something that made the patient’s grin drop. Something that made your pulse spike—because you knew Robby. And you knew exactly what that reaction meant.

The second the gurney disappeared through the OR doors, the ER fell into a weird silence. No one was saying anything, but you could feel it—the barely-contained smirks, the stolen glances, the way nobody wanted to be the first to break.

Until, of course, someone did.

“Okay,” Dana finally said, pulling off her gloves with a snap. “So we’re just… not gonna talk about that?”

You exhaled through your nose, giving her a look. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Dana snorted. “Oh, please.”

You sighed. “Dana—”

“No, no, I wanna hear this,” Dr. Collins said. “I mean, not to read into anything, but—”

“But you’re gonna read into it anyway?” you interrupted, raising a brow.

Dana grinned. “Duh.”

You rolled your eyes, reaching for your chart, fully prepared to ignore this conversation forever.

But then—“That patient was so right,” Javadi muttered.

You froze. Robby, who had been standing at the sink washing his hands, froze too.

Javadi hesitated. “I just mean—the energy? It was giving, like… jealous boyfriend.”

Silence. Your stomach flipped.

Because that wasn’t just a casual statement but an open challenge. And before you could deflect—before you could handle this—Robby turned.

Dr. Robby. The cool, collected, always-in-control attending. Except right now he didn’t look collected at all. He looked pissed. Not at you. At himself.

He grabbed a towel, drying his hands too aggressively before muttering, without even looking at you—“Yeah? Well, maybe that’s because I am.”

A collective inhale.

You blinked. “What?”

Robby tossed the towel onto the counter, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “You heard me.”

The room was dead silent.

Then—“Oh, shit,” Dana whispered under her breath, eyes wide.

The interns gawked. Your brain stalled. Because what the hell had just happened? You were used to subtle tension. Used to stolen glances and things left unsaid. But this wasn’t subtle.

This was Robby snapping—publicly, in front of everyone—and you had no idea what to do about it.

[mxnhoo]

rollercoaster (s. jy)

╰➤ sim jaeyun x reader featuring wonyoung, liz, giselle, literally the whole of bnd, rei, chan synopsis having nothing to do in girls night, you and your gals decided that downloading a dating app would be absolutely perfect to spice up your lives. seeing the males on the dating app, you get violently irked out until you see someone who seems at least half-decent, which so happens to be a guy named "Sim Jaeyun" and it kicks off with him! until you.. start feeling the need.. to.. push away. genre looots of banter, romance, comedy, enemies to lovers, reader has a chaotic friendgroup, dating app, coffee shop, overseas trip, slowburn, reader is chaotic and loud at times, lots of coincidences/surprises, jake is annoying as fuck and super sarcastic lol, reader is awkward with new people and daydreams a lot, did i mention banter?, camping/out in the forest, they both secretly do things for each other, jake loves astronomy and seeing the stars, somewhat heated confrontation!, alone in the pool, dancing, partially proofread(?) word count 17,836 warning reader has an avoidant attachment lol, did i already say avoidant attachment?, vulnerability, ghosting, reader has to face her attachment issues, mentions of death/wanting to die, mentions of anxiety, LOTS of cursing, "go to hell", like one suggestive joke, mentions of stalking, jake mocks her attachment/issues, joking use of "i'm going to kill you", lmk if i missed anything cly's note i'm so happy this is done. i had this idea since last year november i had so much fun writing certain parts and you can definitely tell which, but i despised the other parts LOL omygosh i hate this sm but hope yall can enjoy it. ive been so inactive so this is my return!

now playing rollercoaster - bleachers "You are such a rollercoaster, and a killer queen you are"

“Hey, how ‘bout Wony goes next?” Liz exclaimed, and everyone silently agreed. Wonyoung reached her hand out towards the bottle that was sitting in the centre, twisting her hand and spinning it.

You and your friend group was having a girl’s night, and you all were planning to gossip and have fun all night, but it turns out the current situation was the exact opposite. Everyone’s eyes watched as the bottle spun, the speed of the bottle gradually slowing down as it eventually stopped at..

You.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Wonyoung shot at you, her tone slightly uninterested and you shrugged.

“I dunno, truth, I guess?” 

Everyone remained silent, waiting for someone to come up with a genius question that would make you reveal things about you that they didn’t know about.

Which was practically impossible.

The entire friend group have been together with each other for about 4 years, and even despite being separated by going to college, keeping up with each other wasn’t difficult, and hence, everyone knew everything about each other.

“Any.. questions?” you called out, in hopes that someone would miraculously have a fun question that hasn’t been asked already.

“Not really, no. We already know everything about you,” Giselle, who was sitting across from you, answered.

“Would you date any guy from your class?” Liz enthusiastically questioned, almost as if she didn’t already know your answer.

“No. They’re all either weird, ugly, or have a bad personality,” you sternly responded, your tone disappointed.

Everyone sighed at the expected answer, either leaning back or just scratching their heads.

“This is so boring,” Wonyoung bluntly said, puffing air on one side of her cheek and though it was harsh, she was right.

“Isn’t there anything fun to do?” you questioned, completely leaning backwards and laying back on the cold tiled floor, staring at the ceiling. It was dark outside, and you wanted to make the most out of your time before you go home, since meet ups with them were quite rare. 

“Nah man, we already know everything about each other, there’s nothing to ask,” Giselle responded, going on her phone and scrolling.

“This sucks, no fun thing, no fun love life. Why’re all the guys in our classes so damn ugly?” you whined, letting out a loud sigh afterwards and resting your arm on your forehead. 

“Hey, I might’ve found something fun,” Giselle muttered, as her finger stopped scrolling.

“What did you say?” Wonyoung responded, her eyes shooting up to Giselle, her expression curious.

“Dating apps!” Giselle announced.

“C’mon bro, that’s so bori-” “Let’s see how many people like our profile in 24 hours, how ‘bout that?” Giselle exclaimed, clearly proud at her idea.

Everyone rose up from their half-alive state, unitedly looking at Giselle as if she had just suggested the most thrilling and juiciest activity.

Liz questioned, "Aren't guys there like.. creeps?".

"Well, sure! But not all of them!" Giselle exclaimed, feeling proud at her idea.

“I mean, why not right?” you giggled, finally feeling alive after having the most boring truth-or-dare session.

And that was how you were on your study table, scrolling on your phone using that very same dating app.

Even after the 24th hour mark and comparing the number of likes each of you got, you were still scrolling through the profiles, either liking them and rejecting them.

You knew people on the app weren't so.. proper, but you were looking forward to it because of new experiences and fun, and who knows? You might even find 'the one' here. 'The one' who you're fated to be with, and go through everything with.

Your eyebrows raised as the profiles kept coming in non-stop, anticipating that you'd find someone at least half-decent. So far, all of the profiles are all fuckboys who don't show their face on their profile with bios like "Let's fuck" or "FWBs??".

Fuck no. Absolutely not.

Either that, or boys who full on show their body and stick out their tongues like some frat boys. You couldn't tell which one irked you more.

You sighed, your finger hovering over the dislike button. And that was when you saw it.

"Jaeyun Sim | Jake", and it was photo of a male who looked genuine. In the first photo, he was holding the strap to this big.. fluffy.. cute dog?

Wow, he's cute. The dog, actually. Or is the dog a girl? Whatever.

And him too you could say — this.. "Jake".

Intrigued by this profile, you scrolled through his photos. The first photo was him walking his supposed dog, then as you swiped, you're met with him cuddling his dog and having a surprisingly cute smile. Then the next, he's wearing a white long sleeve, and he seems to be in a field..? And it seems to be sunset with how the background is a pinkish-grey sky.

Shit. He's kinda cute.

"Here just for fun! Loves music, just wanna vibe here tbh. Friends!".

Your eyes wandered as you thought about pressing the like button.

It's just once.

What's the worst that could happen?

Your finger slowly hovered over the button as you thought about pressing it, suddenly feeling hesitant, but in a quick second you forced your finger down and you instantly squaled, turning your phone and facing it downwards flat on your table.

You had to take a breather, processing what you just did and realising the whole situation. You sighed and relaxed your shoulders — it wasn't that serious right? He didn't actually know you right? Whatever. This whole thing isn't that serious.

And your whole perspective flipped when you heard your phone go off, your hands instantly flipping it upwards and seeing that he messaged. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped, surprised at the instant response and you stared at the screen for a second, mentally preparing yourself.

simjaeeejake liked your profile. You both matched! Start chatting now!

simjaeeejake : HEYYY WASSUP

You stared at the message, biting your lips as you started to type.

y/n : YOOOO y/n : how r u!

simjaeeejake : TIRED. simjaeeejake : But we gotta stay LOCKED IN!

You puffed up your cheeks, feeling intimidated yet impressed at his immediate and energetic response.

y/n : AS U SHOULD!

He didn't respond immediately so you started to think if your response was over the top.

Oh shit, did he think you were a weirdo?

simjaeeejake : YEAHH simjaeeejake : I'm jake by the way

Nevermind. All's good.

y/n : i'm y/n l/n y/n : just call me y/n

You were slightly smiling, feeling slightly excited because he matched your energy well.

And that's how you talked to him for not one. Not two. But three hours straight. You didn't even know you had that much socialising power in you, you felt like 30 minutes of conversation with someone you knew was draining, but here you were, talking to someone for 3 hours straight.

And would you be surprised if I said the talking became a daily? Not 3 hours though — that'd be a stretch, but still — daily. You'd found out that he was in your neighbouring university, the universities only being separated by a few train stops, and that he really likes astronomy.

simjaeeejake : No cos simjaeeejake : I really love songs that just make you "feel" YKWIM

y/n : OOOH y/n : if you really love that y/n : i think you'd like rollercoaster by the bleachers y/n : I SWEAR IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL

simjaeeejake : Oh! simjaeeejake : About that.. simjaeeejake : I know..

y/n : you know?

Thinking about what he meant, you gasped as you came to realisation 5 seconds later.

y/n : WAIT YOU KNOW THE SONG???

You stared at his typing bubble, anticipating to his response.

simjaeeejake : IT WAS SUMMER WHEN I SAWW YOUR FACEE

y/n : LOOKED LIKE A TEENAGE RUNAWAY

You sat up from your bed, genuinely feeling ecstatic as someone knew the very song you loved with your entire heart.

y/n : WHAT THE FUCK y/n : I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG

simjaeeejake : Oh is it? simjaeeejake : Will defi take note

simjaeeejake pinned "I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG".

And that's how you learnt a lot about a man you've never met in real life. He's studying something related to business, he has a cute female border collie named Layla, he shat his pants when he was 8, he especially loves My Chemical Romance, and there's more things you could've listed down.

Your friends could've listed them down too, from how much you talked about him in your shared groupchats.

Poor them! They were so obviously tired.

And the reason why they were even more annoyed is because you were talking so much about a man you have not met up with.

That sounds pathetic.

But you were completely okay with not meeting him, because if you met him, it'd start to feel a bit too... real. And you didn't want that.

But the day came.

simjaeeejake : HEY

y/n : HI

simjaeeejake : Crazy idea but..

y/n : UH HUH...

Your face leaned closer to the screen, watching his text bubble.

simjaeeejake : What if we met up.

Your smile dropped, feeling the excitement in you slowly slip away as you read the message.

simjaeeejake : IT'D BE SO FUN YKYK simjaeeejake : Like we can go see the stars w my telescope simjaeeejake : YKYK

You frowned, reading the messages.

y/n : uhhh

You bit your lip, feeling immense discomfort.

simjaeeejake : ?? Why

y/n : HAHAHAHA

You tried to think about a response that wouldn't blow him off.

simjaeeejake : What

y/n : sorry

simjaeeejake : Why??

y/n : uh y/n : i don't really like meeting up

simjaeeejake : Huh

y/n : not really my thanggg

You tried to be casual about it.

simjaeeejake : Okayyyy ms anxiety simjaeeejake : Ok but fr tho simjaeeejake : It'd be so fun simjaeeejake : Can't I be an exception?

You made a disgusted face at his response.

Ms Anxiety? Exception? Seriously? Who are you?

You closed the app, placing your phone on the bed as you stared at the ceiling, feeling as if you'd just lost a friend. Your phone vibrated again, and you looked at the notifications.

simjaeeejake : U good? simjaeeejake : Did i say something?

You sucked your inner cheek, thinking of a response but you turned your phone off, leaving this as a problem for later.

Laughter filled the room as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You could only feel your abdomen grow increasingly sore as your laughter becomes more intense. You pleaded, "No- stop!" as you continued laughing.

Liz continued, "And he did it.. again!".

Her comment caused the laughing session to continue, everyone having tears coming out of their eyes. Liz was ranting about a guy she'd met on the dating app, and it literally proves the point that people there are literally.. hopeless.

Wonyoung, who was slowly calming down, spoke, "So you're telling me that when he saw you for the first time, he ran up to you, slipped ONCE, got back up, and then slipped again not even 3 seconds later?".

Liz's eyes lit up and she pointed to Wonyoung, "Exactly that!".

All of you had gathered again, but finally with more stories to share especially after the dating app idea. The group has finally became lively again after the energy had been constantly stagnant for the past.. God knows how long.

The conversation continues, but it eventually lands on..

"Talking about meeting up, say, Y/N, you haven't been talking about that.. who was it..?" Giselle spoke.

"Jaeyoon? Jaehyun?" Wonyoung guessed as she tried to recall.

"Jaeyun. Sim Jaeyun, Jake," you corrected, your mood suddenly flipping.

Everyone wiggled their eyebrows at each other while making syncronised "oo" sounds. Liz placed her palms on the table, leaning towards you, "You even know his full name, huh?".

You gave her a weirded out look, "F'course I do! How could I not? It's literally in his profile!".

Liz nodded slowly, leaning backwards as she eyed the others.

Wonyoung spat out directly, "Are you dating him?"

"WHAT?!"

"You are! Aren't you?"

"No! Absolutely not!"

Everyone gasped.

"Y/N.. you don't need to lie," Giselle rubbed your back and you snapped your neck at her.

"I'm not lying! I haven't spoken to him in a while!" you confessed at the heat of the moment.

Everyone gasped, but this time there was complete silence afterwards. Everyone gave each other the look and you bit your lip.

Wonyoung pouted, "Is everything okay, girlie? What happened? You used to talk about him in our groupchat so much..".

You sighed as you leaned back onto the seat cushion, "He asked to meet up".

Everyone looked at you, anticipating to the rest of the story, "Then..?".

You looked at them with a puzzled expression, wondering what else they were waiting for. "That's all.." you muttered.

Everyone let out sounds of confusion. Giselle questioned, "What?! So you ghosted him?!"

Liz continued Giselle's question, "And it was because he asked to meet up?!".

You immediately felt defensive, facing your hands towards them and indicating them to stop, "It was scary, okay! What if.. I dunno, he's like a serial killer or something?".

Everyone gave you a glare, questioning your thinking process.

Giselle voiced out first, "Girl... weren't you talking about how 'genuine' and 'kind' he was.. what 'serial killer' bullshit are you thinking about..?".

You felt slightly guilty, now realising how childish it was that you ghosted him over something so small. Wonyoung snapped, catching everyone's attention, "How long has it been?".

"Since I ghosted?" you replied.

"No shit."

You pouted at their sassy response, pulling out your phone from your pocket and pressing into the app, careful not to press into the chat and read the messages.

"It's been.. 3 days?".

Everyone's jaw dropped in sync and Giselle held your shoulder tightly, "Girl! You better respond to that man!".

You felt helpless, "What for! He probably forgot about me already! I don't even know what excuse I'd give for not responding!".

Wonyoung leaned over the table and swiftly snatched your phone, causing you to gasp. Immediately, you try to fight back for the phone but Wonyoung started typing.

"Sent!".

Your heart dropped, "What exactly did yo-!".

You were interrupted when Giselle covered your mouth, your words being muffled and Giselle apologising to the other customers for your loudness.

That's when you looked around and saw all the unpleasant expressions from the workers and the other customers, and you tilted your head downwards to gesture that you were sorry.

You slowly sat back down, taking a deep braeth in as you looked at Wonyoung. "What. Did. You. Send?" you asked, your tone clearly infuriated.

"I sent him.." Wonyoung looked at the screen, reading out from the text message in a sassy tone, "omygosh hi, i'm so sorry but my phone broke. hope you don't get the wrong idea".

You realised how she was all smiley and giggly and you stared at her, only wishing you could slap that smile away. You took a deep breath as you tried to remain composed, clearing all the negative thoughts.

"And he responded!"

"WHAT?!"

Giselle immediately pulled you down to your seat.. again.. after you accidentally shouted and stood up. "Gosh.. Y/N.. we're gonna get kicked out," she tugged on your sleeve and you rested your forehead on your hands.

"Jokes!"

"You guys.." you sighed, feeling worn out, "are going to be the death of me..".

"He responded!!"

"WHAT?!?"

And that's how the 4 of you got kicked out.

"Gosh.. we weren't even being that loud.." Wonyoung complained as she rolled her eyes.

"Right!" Liz agreed, feeling wronged.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes, feeling irritated at them instead of being kicked out. You started walking first, not saying your goodbyes and you heard them yell behind you.

"You better respond to his text!" "Update us!" "Don't ghost him again!"

You were thankful you were the only one heading this way, and you waved your hand without turning back.

You'd finished washing up, rubbing your damp hair with your towel as you sat on the bed, looking at your phone notifcations until you saw his name on the notifications.

Oh. Right.

You held your phone properly, carefully checking the notification and not clicking on it.

simjaeeejake : Thought you ghosted me for a sec simjaeeejake : What even happened

You hesitated, feeling the guilt fully set in and you sighed.

y/n : i kinda y/n : dropped my phone in boiling water

simjaeeejake : While cooking or something?

y/n : yea yea exactly!

simjaeeejake : But you said you can't cook

Oh shit. He's right.

y/n : uh y/n : i saw a recipe y/n : seemed cool, wanted to try it out

simjaeeejake : Hmm simjaeeejake : Okay

Man. Hopefully he bought that.

You felt guilty, so you continued the conversation, but there was still something inside of you making it uncomfortable, so your responses had breaks in between them, were less lively and drier than usual.

simjaeeejake : Okayy I gotta go now, mom's rushing me out simjaeeejake : Need to catch the stars tonight

You heaved a sigh of relief, thankful the conversation was ending.

y/n : okayy

You were about to close the chat until you saw his chat bubble appear. You stayed, curious to what else he had to say.

simjaeeejake : Btw simjaeeejake : I know something's up simjaeeejake : So if i did anything wrong, lmk simjaeeejake : Or if you need reassurance, lmk too simjaeeejake : I'm not a bad guy, I promise simjaeeejake : I really like what we have, so I hope we can progress :)

You stared at his messages, your chest being filled with all sorts of different emotions.

simjaeeejake : Sleep soon simjaeeejake : Gn Y/N

You felt reassured and happy, but at the same time there was this thing at the back of your head telling you to run. Ignore him. Ghost him again. You rubbed your forehead, feeling distressed, and you sent a quick reply before throwing your phone somewhere on the bed.

y/n : goodnight, jake.

You stared at the ceiling.

"Maybe I do have a chance at this.. 'relationship' bullshit," you mumbled to yourself. You sighed before turning over and plunging your head to your pillow.

"I really hope you'd take me in as an employee!" you pleaded with a big smile plastered across your face, watching as your interviewer nods in approval with a subtle smile. You watched as he took down notes and you awkwardly looked around, the big smile still on your face.

After a few seconds of writing sounds, he closed his book and you sat up straight, anticipating to what was next. He cleared his throat and you leaned in closer, praying for good news.

"So.." he started off. You bit your lip, feeling as the anxiety starts creeping in. He continues, "You start next week. Come in some time this week to pick up your uniform, yes? This weekend you'll get your training".

You felt so overjoyed you wanted to run around and hug your interviewer. "Yes- of course sir! I mean, yes sir!".

"Don't call me sir, call me Chan," he reassured, his tone friendly.

"Yes sir! I mean- sir Chan! I mean Chan!" you stuttered, clearly not being able to contain your excitement.

As soon as you stepped out of the cafe, you immediately texted your friends without care about your physical surroundings.

y/n : IM GOING FOR THAT OVERSEAS PROGRAMMEEE y/n : I GOT THE JOB I CAN FUND MY SHIT

giselle : DAMNN giselle : congrats girlie omg

wony : YAYYYYY wony : asking for a friend! do you have staff discount

liz : CONGRATS GIRL!! liz : ^^ what wony said

There was this upcoming overseas programme that happened yearly, and you begged your dad to go and he allowed you under one condition — you paid for 70% of the fees.

So here you were, getting a job in a cafe that paid fairly well. The programme was in about 3-4 months, and you'd started your school break so you'd have a lot of time to work and get that bag.

The streets were bustling, lots of cars and people walking, and it was quite impressive that you haven't bumped into someone or a pole. And that was when you did.

Your face bumped into a hard chest causing you to instantly look up. The male quickly scurried away as he muttered a swift 'sorry', and he had black hair and glasses. You watched as he entered the cafe you were working at and you rubbed your nose, slowly rubbing the pain away. You shrugged and you continued your way, planning to respond to the girls' messages later.

Jake? Well, you did it again. You ghosted the man when he initiated to meet up, contacted him again when you felt guilty and repeated. But last week, it was final.

This cycle has been going on for about a month, and you almost didn't know how he never ghosted you at least once. He stopped contacting you, so you were somewhat grateful yet you felt like apologising for the mess.

But you knew that if you apologise, the cycle would start again, so you decided to break it.

The dating app? You deactivated your account and deleted the app, deciding that dating apps really didn't have 'the' one you'd be fated with. The perfect one that you'd never want to avoid, unlike Jake.

Your life now was perfect. No man, no worries, no school for the mean time, and you were working part time at a cafe that had an environment that made you thrilled. You were also looking forward to the overseas trip, so life seemed ideal.

"Order for.. Yeppi?" you read out the unusual name, tilting your head, worried you were saying it wrongly.

Immediately, a man rushed towards your counter, giggling and you observed a distressed guy trailing after him.

"See, Sungho! 'Yeppi' sounds cute!" the guy nearer to you spoke.

You looked at the two of them, puzzled to what their banter was about. The supposed 'Sungho' ran his hand through his hair, frustrated as he approached you, muttering a small "thanks" as he took his drink. You gave an awkward smile and as soon as they turned their backs, you could see Sungho smack the other.

"I'll get back at you, Jaehyun!" Sungho threatened, ignoring the fact that Jaehyun was rubbing his arm after the hard smack.

You giggled at their fun banter, the confusion dissolving as you understood the situation. You went back to the counter, ready to serve anyone who's ready to order.

Having nothing to do, you opened the register and started to count the money, wanting to make use of your time. The chime of the entrance bell sounded, but being in the midst of counting cash, you didn't look up.

With a few notes left, you were almost done until you heard a soft, "Hello" at the counter. Your head shot up to look at the customer, but your smile instantly dropped. Your face went cold and you accidentally dropped the cash, still staring at the customer in front of you.

"Oh..?" the customer muttered.

"Oh.." you replied.

You inspected his features. His hair was the same colour and shaped the same way. His glasses had the same tape at the side. He had the same piercings in the photo.

You confirmed it.

It was him, the guy from the dating app.

It was Jake.

Your first instinct was to bend down to pick up the notes you'd dropped, and well — hide. Duh. The man you'd shamelessly ghosted was standing right there, and you'd have to talk to him — no, look at him at the bare minumum while serving him.

You mumbled all the curse words you knew under your breath as you picked up the last few notes, mentally preparing yourself before you stood back up.

You were met with his amused face, his arms folded as he raised his eyebrows at you. You looked down immediately at the cash register, slotting in the cash at its' designated spot as you clear your throat, hoping he didn't recognise you.

"If it isn't Ms Anxiety herself," he broke the silence.

Nevermind. He did. And he did not seem happy.

You cleared your throat again, plastering the most professional expression on your face as you clapped your palms together. "What would you like, Sim Jaeyun?".

"And Ms Anxiety remembers my full government name. Impressive," he mocked and your professional expression immediately dropped.

"Look, don't make this hard for me," you grumbled, breaking the professional image.

"Hard? For you? Was it hard to.. I dunno.. send a text back?" he attacked, his expression clearly displeased.

"Oh please, Jaeyun—"

"Actually, I prefer Jake," he perfectly interrupted you, a smirk on his face, "please use that instead".

Of course he wasn't going to make this easy. But what did you expect?

You huffed out air, almost thinking that this was all a dream from how coincidental and bizzare this whole situation was. He seemed so sweet over text, but seeing how he acted made you realise he was snarky and irritating

He spoke up again, "No offense, but I don't think there's any way for you to.. ghost me right now", his eyes wandered around, "especially since I'm the customer.. and you're the—"

"Okay, damn! I get it!" you scowled, biting your lip hard afterwards. You shot out, "What do you want?!".

He hummed and pretended to think about it for a few seconds, "Hmm.. you to explain why you ghosted me".

"Not that! Your damn order!"

He gave a soft smile, "Oh right, that".

He's fucking unbelievable.

You bit your lip in frustration as you eyed him down, all the curse words threatening to pour out of your mouth. He raised his eyebrows and stared at you, "I think.." he hummed, "I'll have your usual?".

"Your usual?" you shot, "Don't tell me you're a regular here?".

"You bet I am! Happy 'bout that?" he gave a cheeky smile.

You stared at him in disbelief, wishing you could just.. crumble into a hole and be buried until you die. You sighed and turned around, running your hand through your hair until you heard him snapping his fingers.

"Hello?" snap snap "My usual?".

You turned back around, giving him the most dead expression you could ever make out, "And how am I supposed to know your usual?".

"Maybe you could apologise for ghosting me and I'll let you know," he grinned from ear to ear, having high expectations that you'd give in.

Oh man. This job definitely wasn't going to be easy.

To make things worse? You've already taken up 5 shifts a week for 2 months to get as much money before your trip.

And if you think about it, you're definitely going to have to memorise his 'usual' sooner or later.

Oh man.

"It was summer when I saw your face," you sang into the tip of the broom, singing along to your favourite song that was playing in the cafe.

The infamous "Rollercoaster" by Bleachers.

You switched between sweeping and dancing, feeling free because you were closing alone.

"Man, I'm never the same," you sang, "We were shotgun lovers, I'm a—"

"You're a shotgun running away".

You screamed, immediately turning around at the sudden voice. You held the broom close to you and your heart accelerated from the scare. You thought it was ghost, but no it was something worse — Jake.

He leaned on the counter, "No wonder you loved the song, fits you so well".

You recovered from the scare, your face twisting as you retorted, "What the fuck are you doing here! We're closed!".

"Not yet," he pointed to the clock.

9:59.

One. Fucking. Minute. To. Closing.

"My usual, yep?" he voiced out, his tone irritating that you were tempted to jump on him and rip his hair out.

"And if I don't?"

"I can complain to your managers and get you fired. I'm close to all of them since I c'mere so often," he stared at the ceiling and scratched his head, "Surely you wouldn't want that, right?".

"Fuck you".

"Your usual?" you questioned, watching as he leaned forward and rested his head on his elbow, giving you a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes, already prepared to make his order.

"Nah- na-uh, I have a special request," he squeeked.

You turned around and frowned at him, his face bringing you over the edge further.

"Put it under the name, 'The Best Jake'," he requested as he pointed a finger upwards, his tone cocky and you simply scoffed, walking away.

Upon finishing his drink, it pained you but you wrote it according to his request, 'The Best Jake'. You huffed out in irritation before walking up to the counter.

No way you were gonna say it out loud.

"Jake," you called out, staring at him as he sat down, occupied on his phone but to no avail.

You sighed, thinking you weren't loud enough, so you called him again.

And again.

And no fucking response. The boy was giggling at his phone and seemed completely oblivious to you calling him.

You definitely weren't going to walk over to him, so you did another thing that pained your heart.

"The best Jake."

"Yes, coming!" his whole body turned to you as he got off of his seat in a heartbeat, making his way towards you and you stared in him in disbelief.

He gave you a satisfied smile as he snatched the drink away from you as you watched him walk away. You were in disbelief, flabbergasted — no way that just happened.

Your new friend hit your shoulder as he continued to laugh.

"You—" laugh "gosh, I wish I would've seen that!" Leehan wiped his tears, his grin from ear to ear as you shared your work experiences with him.

"This 'Jake' guy is actually hilarious!" he commented.

To be specific, your experiences with Jake.

"It really isn't that funny, Donghyun" you snarked and his laughter started to calm down.

"Aw c'mon! Don't go using my actual name now. I wish I was working too when that happened!" he giggled and pushed you jokingly.

"Too bad, it was like a week before you joined," you sulked, sticking out your tongue and leaning on the counter.

Leehan whined as he walked over to lean on the counter beside you.

"Isn't it crazy that we study in the same campus?" he questioned, wanting to change the topic before you get too upset.

You sighed before glancing at him, "Mhm, hopefully we can bump into each other".

You both stood next to each other in silence, when you suddenly thought about your programme. "Say, are you attendi—".

"It's time to close!" he announced, clearly ecstatic at the thought of finishing up and going home. Your eyes shot to the clock, realising he was right. It was 10 sharp.

You watched him as he pushed off the counter and stretched his body. You silently sighed, thinking you'd ask him soon if he was attending the same overseas programme as you.

After 2 whole months of enduring Jake — and working of course, you were finally going to take a break since your trip was approaching. You'd originally planned to resign, but it became hard because you've met Leehan, and all your other amazing colleagues.

Your manager patted your back, giving you a sense of praise as he gave you a proud grin. "Have enough money for the trip? Want more?" he asked.

You hummed a little bit as you thought about his question. Was he offering you money? Of course you can't turn down an offer like that!

"Mmm... I might not have enough," you muttered, praying you'd get spare change from him.

He gave you a reaussring giggle as he patted your back, making you feel content before his laugh suddenly came to a halt.

"Too bad, work more then," he shot coldly and you whined, watching how he breaks into laughter afterwards.

"You're too cold.." you complained and sighed, folding your arms.

He calmed down and patted your back, "I'm sure you've earned enough, I'm almost sick of seeing your face every single day".

You giggled, the thought that you won't be working here for a while feeling somewhat bittersweet. He looked at his watch and straightened his posture, "Alright, time to go, Y/N, will see you when you return from the trip?".

"Yes, sir," you saluted.

You quickly packed up your belongings, and as you were about to leave, your manager suddenly called out.

"Oh right, before I forget, I remember there's someone who's in the same flight and programme as you!" he called out, and you felt relieved at his words.

You sighed in relief, and you were about to ask from across the store who it was but customers started coming in, so the manager quickly gestured for you to leave and waved.

Now, it was time for your trip. It was going to be the time of your life, and you were so determined to make new friends, new memories, new—

"Oh, you like that? Me too!" you spat out nervously, your voice squeeky as you tried to get to know the other people who were in the same group as you.

They nervously laughed and turned away from you, making you feel awkward. It seemed like they already knew each other from the way they kept glancing at each other and making looks.

Well, fuck.

New friends? Maybe not..

It's okay. You could still make new memories, right?

You walked away, dragging your luggage with you as you stood alone, observing the people that were obviously grouped together already. You were eyeing and judging people based on how friendly they looked, and plotting to befriend them.

Besides, didn't your manager say Leehan was in the same programme and flight as you? He should be appearing any second.

Your eyes scanned from left to right slowly, mentally taking note of the different details of the people for future reference, and as you continued, your eyes come to a halt.

You panicked and your hands fiddled as it tried to find your luggage handle, your eyes not being able to leave the person. You felt the blood in your face disappear and your heart beat rapidly as you finally gripped onto your luggage handle and started running away.

You couldn't believe who you just saw. You just saw Sim. Fucking. Jaeyun. Fucking JAKE. Out of ALL people.

Luck wasn't on your side though, because when you started running towards the other direction, it only took you 5 seconds before you bumped into a person's chest, making your luggage fall flat onto the airport floor, a loud slap sound echoing throughout the place.

Everyone glanced at you, but you made sure your back was facing the crowd to ensure that Jake... wasn't aware that you were in the same programme and flight as you.

You rubbed your nose, feeling the pain after the impact of bumping violently into someone, and you looked up, feeling the need to apologise to the person.

"Sorr—" you apologised, but stopped when you saw the person, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to recall who he was, "Wait.. aren't you the 'Yeppi' guy?".

"Oh my god," he facepalmed himself while still offering a hand to you. You took his hand and he helped to pull you up, your eyes glued onto him as you remembered that incident in the cafe when you still first started working.

"Sungho! Not 'Yeppi', thank you!" he replied, his eyebrows furrowing at you.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar laugh trail behind Sungho, your head looking over Sungho's shoulder and you saw another familiar figure.

"See! Even strangers call you that!" the man laughed as he walked to stand beside Sungho, and as his eyes land on you, he gasped and pointed at you.

"Y/N!" he called loudly and you panicked, covering his mouth instantly, your head slightly turning over your shoulder to see if Jake heard, and thankfully he was still in his own world, talking to other people.

"You..! How do you know my name!" you whisper-shouted and the man panicked, his eyes widened as he felt unsure what to do with a 'stranger' covering his mouth.

He mumbled out gibberish you couldn't comprehend, and he had to slap your arm repeatedly before you let go of his mouth. He gave you a dramatic sigh and dusted his hands.

"The cafe!" he pouted. "I never said my name!" you shot. "Your freaking nametag!" he complained, feeling wronged.

You had to stare at him for a second, recalling if you wore a nametag, and you indeed wore a nametag.

"Oh.." you muttered out of realisation.

"Hey! You're so mean, Y/N! How could yo—" he pointed a finger to you before you covered his mouth again, desperately not wanting your identity to be known.

"Stop. Saying. My. Name. Out. Loud. Help me out here," you whisper-shouted again, your words sharp and Sungho giggled, enjoying the show in front of him.

"Stop.. covering.. my.. mo—" Jaehyun fought for his life, trying to get out a few words as you covered his mouth more.

He smacked your arm again and you let him go.

"Fine, fine! I'll stop saying your name!" he gave in, feeling wronged and he pouted.

He added on, "But why should I help you?! We're not even friends!".

You stepped back and sighed, straightening your posture and clothes.

"Hi, my name is Y/N L/N. I major in Film Studies, and I enjoy anything related to music. You guys are my friends now, Sungho and..."

"Hah! You don't even kno—"

"Jaehyun. His name's Jaehyun," Sungho butted in, giggling again as he saw Jaehyun's little tantrum from his name being given away.

"So Jaehyun and Sungho? Got it," you thought out loud, memorising their names and faces.

You and Sungho teased Jaehyun a little bit, until Jaehyun suddenly spat out a question, "Say, why don't you want us to say your name?".

You jogged to place yourself behind them, holding their shoulders, and discreetly pointing to the main target, "Him".

"Jake?" they both said in confusion.

"SHH!"

You sighed, before continuing, "Long story short, we met on a dating app, I ghosted him, and he's so not happy about it!".

"Whaat? Why'd you ghost him?" Sungho questioned.

"I am NOT doing this right now," you recalled to when your girlfriends asked the same question, and the incident in the restaurant you ate at.

Both males sighed as they began to understand the situation. You began to feel nervous, thinking if they were friends with him.

"Wait, you guys aren't friends with him, right?" "Not really," Sungho responded.

Jaehyun answered, "Just acquintances, bump into him in campus and the cafe every once in a while".

You sighed in relief as you pulled their shoulders, making them turn towards you again.

"Help me avoid him," you pleaded and they both gave you weird looks.

"How exactly..?" Jaehyun asked. "Hang out with me. That's all," you gave a simple solution and they both gave each other looks before they both sighed.

"Okay.. Ms Y/N.. friend," Sungho replied and you fisted your hands and punched the air in happiness.

"I promise I'm a fun person!"

You were in luck when you found people to stick with right after discovering that the person you literally ghosted was in your surroundings. You've managed to hide yourself from him, hiding behind Sungho's broad shoulders from time to time whenever he was nearby. The others have given weird looks, but as long as Jake doesn't find out, it doesn't matter.

You, however, weren't that lucky with your seat in the plane. Both Jaehyun and Sungho were seated together, away from you. When you watched them board, you saw their cheeky faces as they waved you goodbye and you could've thrown a tantrum.

Now that you were alone, you were more prone to bumping into the very person you wanted to avoid with all your might. As you were waiting to board the plane, you constantly kept checking your surroundings to know if you had to hide yourself or even run away.

As the queue shortened, your turn was nearing and you were starting to feel more reassred as there were no signs of Jake. When it was the person in front of you's turn to have their ticket checked, you made one final check around.

"Who we lookin' for?"

"Ah, no one," you continued to search, feeling more safe that you were boarding without seeing him.

"Does his name happen to start with a 'J' and end with an 'E'?"

Your eyebrows raised in amusement, "You're right, actually!", you slowly turned to the person, "How'd you—".

Oh.

"Know....?" you whispered, barely audible.

Your eyes were glued to the person, your mouth slowly agape as you process what was happening.

Jake was looking at you over your shoulder and you were just staring at him. He gave you that cheeky smile he'd always given you whenever he was plotting something at the cafe. You blinked multiple times when he suddenly stuck his tongue out and cut your queue, walking in front of you and having his ticket checked first.

When the worker approved of his ticket, he turned around.

He teased, "Could end with an 'N', too. 'Jaeyun', y'know?"

He flashed that devilish grin once again before turning around and walking in.

You stared at him as he walked in, the worker who was checking the tickets growing irritated at you as you held up the line. You heard grumbles from people at the back and you immediately snapped back to reality, dropping your passport and ticket in the process.

Your heart was beating really... really.. fast. Too fast for your liking.

You were staring into nothing, your body feeling exhausted even though you did nothing but sit down on a plane seat for 7 hours straight. Your jaw was slightly dropped, your eyebags painfully visible as you stared at the friends you made along the way.

"Hello!" you heard voices, but it wasn't enough to break you from your daydream.

"Earth to Y/N!"

Suddenly, in your vision, someone snapped their fingers, literally snapping you back to reality and you immediately scanned your surroundings, seeing familiar faces.

Familiar faces that you actually wanted to see.

"Well, finally Y/N!" Sungho folded his arms.

Jaehyun added on, "We thought you almost—".

You let out sounds of cries as you opened your arms and pulled both of them into a hug, feeling emotional that you finally saw people you felt comfortable with after possibly the worst 7 hours of your life.

"—died.." Jaehyun's voice lowered significantly, taken aback by your sudden embrace but he didn't complain.

You stuffed your face into Jaehyun's shoulder, feeling like shit and finally letting out all your emotions after bottling it up. You were crying, just without the tears.

Sungho eyed Jaehyun before pursing his lips and patting your back, "There there.. Poor Y/N..".

"Was the flight that bad..?" Jaehyun questioned genuinely.

Your head shot up, your eyebrows arching upwards, "Yes!".

Luckily on the way to the hotel, you could choose the bus and the seats. There were 3 buses, and you made sure to take the one different from Jake's. The entire way there, you ranted about Jake's sudden appearance and the entire flight.

The entire flight which Jake unfortunately was a major part of as well.

"During dinner time, instead of getting dinner that everyone gets, I got something different?!" you complained.

"What do you mean?" Sungho and Jaehyun tilted their heads.

"I'd get a platter that's different than everyone else's — I checked and it was on the special menu — and—"

"Isn't that a good thing?!" Jaehyun spat. "Yeah, you get good food!" Sungho added on.

"No— I mean, okay, sure! But there was this paper note on it and I opened it, and it fucking said 'Wanna text me back?'," you grumbled loudly, not caring about the weird looks you were getting from others.

Jaehyun and Sungho had big reactions, immediately gasping and laughing. You gave them dirty looks and rolled your eyes, your misery being their joy.

"And then I turned around on instinct! And first person I made eye contact with? Fucking him!" you continued.

They both hit each other in excitement, enjoying as the story continues to unfold.

Your neck was aching from how much it was tilting to one angle. Your body was uncomfortably straight, and your palms were incredibly sweaty. You were laughing at Jaehyun's joke more, since there was a problem.

With a Jaehyun on one side, you unfortunately had a Jaeyun on the other.

Call that fucking unlucky.

"Nooooo way you did thaaat!" you dragged on your words, laughing extra loud, hoping that others would perceive that you were comfortable. Happy. Satisfied with where you were and who you were surrounded with.

Complete opposite actually.

All the students part of the programme were gathered in the same hall, and multiple groups were formed to make bigger ones for orientation. In the merged groups, everyone was sat in a circle to play some ice breakers, and with the amount of people in this circle, you thought the whole world was against you when the only person you didn't want was placed beside you.

You were mentally calculating the probability, and it was like a... 1/50 chance. You were eyeing the game leaders that were in the centre of the circle, discussing amongst themselves as you prayed even harder that they'd start the games soon so you can find a chance to slip away and sit anywhere else.

You turned once and you were only met with his raised eyebrows and cocky smile, making you gasp softly as you snapped your head back to Jaehyun and Sungho, your mind going blank as you tried to find things to say.

You simply burst out laughing, slapping Jaehyun's back a little too hard causing him to yelp out loud, accidentally catching everyone's attention and your head immediately snaps to everyone else, your eyes widened as everyone gave especially you, weird looks. You raised your hands as if you were surrendering and you heard a snicker from the other side.

"Nice one, smartie," you heard him taunt you.

You gasp and you turn your head to his, your furious eyes meeting his. "I'm going to kill you," you threatened and he snorted, crushing your ego even more.

He patted you and you shivered. "Ghosting and killing, huh? What did I ever do wrong?" he questioned, but it sounded rhetorical.

You forcefully pulled his hands away from your head, "Don't fucking touch me".

"Getting all worked up, aye?"

You thanked all of the Gods above when you finally heard the game masters in the centre of the circle start talking. You looked at Jake one more time, seeing his irritating smirk as you forcefully nudged his body hard enough to make him fall backwards. He gasped loudly and you stuck your tongue out at him.

It was your turn to snicker, and when he recovered and got up, he was about to raise his hand and smack you, but before he could do anything, you saw a pair of feet from your peripheral vision, causing the two of you to freeze.

"Ehm."

You two turned your head upwards, your eyes met with the girl who seemed like she could actually kill the both of you. You bit your lip as you scratched your neck, your head looking down in shame and Jake did the same.

"What are you two doing? I said I wanted you two to introduce yourselves since you guys are so energetic," the girl said, her tone so daunting you almost regretted doing anything.

She continued, "Stand. Up".

You two cleared your throats and stood up on clue, not wanting to anger her any further.

"I'm Y/N!" "I'm Jake!"

Both of you glared at each other, offended that the other spoke over them.

"I—" "I—"

You two looked at each other again.

"You may go—" "How about you—"

You both looked at each other again. You sucked your cheek, feeling your blood boiling. You were about to start arguing with him when the same games master loudly interrupted the both of you.

"This is Y/N, this is Jake!".

Your eyes shot at her, suddenly feeling sheepish as you realised that you were dragging on the entire programme.

"All your fucking fault, Ms Anxiety," he whisper-shouted, his hands neatly placed on top of each other as he looked down.

"Fuck you, go to hell," you whisper-shouted, wishing he could just disappear.

As the game master introduced the both of you, she turned back to the two of you and held your shoulders.. tightly.

"Sit down. Behave," she commanded and you two immediately said 'Yes ma'am' and sat back down on the floor, your heads tilted downwards in shame. Your knees accidentally bumped and you sent a glare but you made sure to not make a ruckus out of it.

It was finally the party after the orientation, and you were finally starting to meet new people. Sungho and Jaehyun were still by your side, practically being your body guards as the three of you socialised with new people.

"Say, that was so hilarious! That was like a scene out of a movie!" Woonhak burst out laughing as he recalled when you and Jake got called out in the circle in front of everyone else.

You face palmed as you took a sip of your drink, cringing as you replayed the memory in your head, "Yeah, sure, funny. Worst thing that has happened in my life..".

"Ever?" Rei questioned.

"Ever," you, Sungho and Jaehyun answered in unision.

They all laughed, enjoying your hatred and misery when it comes to Jake. Riwoo questioned, wiping his tears "Do you even know him?".

"Not at all!" you shot back immediately, your eyebrows furrowing so much it would form permenant creases on your skin.

Sungho wrapped an arm around your shoulder, "She's been suffering even before the trip.."

He started to share your cinematic experiences with Jake while working in the cafe and you helped out with the details he missed out.

On the other hand.. Jake, who was standing at the opposite corner of you...

"Bro, do you know her?" Taesan questioned him, giggling from the same incident Woonhak questioned about.

"Yup. Very well actually," Jake smirked, taking a sip from his cup.

Day 1.

You don't know what the programme organisers were thinking, but they thought that camping was a good activity. You thought you'd be learning more about the country, going to the city side, trying new food, but here you were.

You stood in the middle of everyone, your friends pulling on your sleeve as you stared into blank space, devastated and not looking forward to anything.

Suddenly, someone pushed your shoulder and you stumbled forward. You shot, "Hey!" and you turned to the person, and you couldn't have expected anyone else.

Jake snickered as he saw your worked up expression, wanting to push your buttons further but before he could try anything, your friends successfully pulled you away.

"Stop slacking!" Sungho nagged as he held your forearm, dragging you like a mother would and you groaned, allowing him to do so.

"I'm so not excited for this," you complained, still staring into nothing as your legs continued to move by themselves.

There were many reasons why this is the last thing you wanted.

First of all...

"JAKE! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!" you screamed, causing everyone to turn back as Jake held a cicada and held it near you, giggling.

"Or what?" he tested the waters.

You hated bugs.

Second of all,

You were walking cautiously, sensitive to every sound. Everyone was split now to smaller groups and you all had agreed to gather different items. You were alone with Sungho, but he told you to stay put as he climbed the tree to get items.

You were tapping your feet, looking around cautiously in any case that something.. or someone attacks you.

Your face went cold when you heard a branch crack behind you and you immediately froze. You heard the cracks getting louder and closer, and you immediately covered your ears and squatted, screaming, "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!".

You closed your eyes, tears already forming in your eyes from the fear and you were thanking your family and friends for being with you up till your final day.

A tear broke free when someone tapped your shoulder and your shoulders stiffened even more.

"Y/N, chillax.. it's just me," you heard Sungho's voice and you immediately looked up, heaving a sigh of relief and having more tears break free.

You were absolutely a scaredy cat. No survival instinct.

Third of all...

The group was hiking up the hill, a river flowing down and a waterfall nearby. You were looking into the body of water, fascinated but unwilling to go too close to it anything happens. You looked at how the fish moved around, slowly hiking up with the others when you scanned around, spotting Jake a little in front of you.

Suddenly, a delivish and smart idea appeared in your head, and you snickered cheekishly as you slowly started to jog to catch up to him, walking behind him. As he continues to walk, he starts becoming closer to the body of water without realising and you held up your hands and pushed him into the body of water.

But one thing you didn't know he had was his fast reaction skills.

He yelped. Held your wrist out of instinct. Pulled you down into the water with him.

Your body was immediately filled with panic as you become fully submerged into the water, thinking you'd die and your legs kick frantically in an attempt to save yourself. Jake had let go of your wrist to help himself, and as you put in all your effort to swim upwards, you gasp when your head finally reaches the surface.

"Are you fucking serious?" he glared at you, watching as you struggled to swim up. He continued to throw bashful words, "Are you like.. fucking.. 5 years old?".

You wanted to fight back, but the only thing you could fight for right now was for your life. You frantically kicked yourself up, your breathing frantic as you were filled up with fear that you'd die here.

"Don't tell me.. you can't swim..?" he commented after watching you for a while.

"I..!" gasp "Can't..!" gasp "Swim..!"

You were hopeless when it came to nature. The compatibility between you and nature was similar to the compatibility with you and Jake.

He sighed before he swam over to you and held your waist, pulling you up from the water and you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, nervous that if you'd let go you'd drown again.

You could hear everyone panic as they all call out for the both of you, frantic that the two of you were in water but from the way he was supporting you, you knew you'd be safe.

You stared into his eyes, seeing how the water runs down his face and how there was an irritated expression on his face. You felt his breath on your face, making you realise how close the two of you actually were.

"I like this expression," you mumbled, completely forgetting your panic 5 seconds ago.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he snarked.

"This irritated expression. I hope you can be angry forever," you requested and he scoffed.

He rolled his eyes, "I save your fucking life and this is what you say?".

He glared at you, and you could say you were the happiest person alive but the thing that caught you off-guard was how his eyes flickered to your lips.

At this realisation, you let go of his arms, yelping as you fell back into the water. Jake was flabbergasted, caught off-guard that you suddenly let go of him and everyone on the surface screamed for help.

"Soo.. what you're saying is.. it's my fault you were dragged into the water, so you're asking me to pay for your laundry when we get back?"

"Precisely that!" you pointed a finger to Jake's face and he looked at you with a dead expression. He looked like he wanted to fight back but he simply sighed and rolled his eyes, not wanting to drag this further.

He offered his hand, "Your number?".

"What the fuck?"

"I'm not asking you for your number to be ghosted again by you. I'm asking for your number so I can tell you when to pick it up," he clarified.

Your chest stung a little by his comment, an ounce of guilt filling you and you cleared your throat, "Fine".

"Huh? Where'd this pillow come from?" you questioned after returning to your tent after cautiously making rounds around the area with Sungho and Jaehyun. You looked at Rei, thinking that she was the one who gave you the pillow but she simply shrugged and responded with a simple "I don't know".

Rei added on, "I left for a second too, and it was here when I came back".

Your eyebrow raised in suspicion, but you had no complains. You simply shrugged your shoulders and tucked yourself into the sleeping bag, the pillow adding comfort.

You sighed as you tried to forget about where the pillow possibly came from. You turned to Rei, who was beside you.

"Is that pillow given to you too?" you questioned as you pouted at her, placing your hands to your face to add to the comfort.

"Nah, it's mine," she responded, her voice slightly raspy.

"What?! You knew to bring?"

"It was literally in the itinerary!"

"Jake, what's up with your neck?" you heard a guy question.

Your eyes shot to his direction, curious to see what the commotion was about, your eyebrow raising in curiosity.

Jake shrugged as he continued to rotate his neck in circles, stretching out the muscles. You shot a weird look despite him not looking in your direction and rolled your eyes.

"Just slept funny, I guess" you heard Jake respond.

'That's what you get. May your neck be cursed and remain stiff eternally!' you thought to yourself.

You giggled to yourself, enjoying that you were cursing him out and the others looked at you in concern. Riwoo nudged Woonhak, whispering into his ears, "Has she gone coo coo..?".

Woonhak shrugged and snickered, having the same exact thoughts as Riwoo.

Day 2 wasn't that much better than day 1, but you've grown used to the nature, becoming braver than you were yesterday. You'd stop flinching whenever a branch nearby cracks, you're at least more brave to walk around as long as there's at least one person beside you. You're more capable, though there were moments where you ran to Rei and held her tightly, embracing for impact.

Everyone was on the trail, the stream of water flowing down. The atmosphere was filled with the waters crashing and the sounds of conversation, and you were simply following and enjoying the view. Though you admitted that you hated being in the forest, it's not everyday you get to enjoy the nature.

Your eyes scanned around the area as you continued to walk, your neck turning when you suddenly make eye contact with someone's camera. The person instantly pans their phone away from you, your eyes blinking to make out who it was to realise it was the one you hated the most.

"DId you take a fucking photo of me?" you called out, still walking. You were irritated, but you weren't that worked up compared to yesterday.

"Yeah, you looked fucking ugly, Ms Anxiety," he scoffed.

You didn't fight back, deciding that you didn't have anymore time and energy to waste on him.

"Whatever floats your fucking boat," you responded and his eyebrows raised, amused that you weren't being a public nuisance and causing trouble as usual.

You've grown accustomed to the nature and walking around, but you didn't get accustomed to obstacle courses. To be specific — elevated obstacle courses, also known as high elements.

"I DON'T WANNA GO!" you screeched, holding onto the rope that kept you secure and safe, your grip insanely tight as you shut your eyes closed.

The instructor nervously laughed, patting your back as he tried to encourage you to go. You were already halfway and it would be such an inconvenience to you and everyone behind you if you turned back, so you could only move forward.

You looked downwards slowly, peeking over the edge and feeling your legs grow more wobbly. You had a fear of heights, and that added onto the reasons why the forest is the worst place you could be.

"Don't look down! Just— just go!" you heard Sungho cheer you on from behind. You took a brief second to turn backwards, feeling motivated and encouraged by Sungho's words, but as soon as you looked back down you panicked and stopped again.

"Fuck! Why did I come onto this trip!" you whisper shouted to yourself, your lips quivering from fear.

Your nails were digging into your palms and your hands were shaking. You were ready to just.. die, until..

"Y/N! Don't be scared! Just jump!" you heard a voice ahead and your head immediately shot up, shocked to see who was motivating you.

Jake was caught off-guard by the expression on your face and he bit his lip, scratching his neck for a split second. "Just.. just jump you dumbass!" he yelled, stepping back into the course and holding his hand out.

You slowly stood up, your legs wobbly as you frowned at him, surprised to see this new side of him but at the same time, you could only care about getting over this high elements obstacle course.

"You..!" you muttered.

"Don't put the 'anxiety' in Ms Anxiety!" he mocked you in an attempt to motivate you.

A part of you felt like punching him, so you immediately scoffed, screaming as you jumped towards him. He was bewildered at how you did it with no hesitation after his comment, but he took your hand. Your foot landed on the checkpoint, but you accidentally slipped backwards.

You yelped loudly but he immediately gripped your forearm, pulling you towards him and preventing you from falling. Your foreheads knocked from how close he pulled you, making you groan in pain as you rub your forehead.

Your eyes slowly trail up his face, eventually locking eyes with him, feeling his breath on your face, and as you realised how he was staring back into your eyes, your chest tightened and your stomach tensed up. The strands of hair on your arm stood up, and you immediately became fully conscious, standing up properly while screaming and pushing him away in the process, making him dangle in the air.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" he yelled as he dangled in the air, desperately trying to get hold of the checkpoint edge as you stared at him, your eyes about to pop out as you frantically tried to reach your hand out.

You'd never thought you'd see your hotel bed again after 2 days in nature since it felt like 400 years. You enjoyed the coolness of the AC and jumped onto the bed, enjoying the texture of the sheets after it being untouched for the past 2 days. You cuddled up to your pillow, bringing the sheets towards your face as you stretched your back and legs, your eyes shut from how comfortable you felt.

After getting comfortable and sufficiently stretching, you flipped onto your back, staring into the ceiling and thanking all the Gods above that you managed to reach back the hotel safely and that you get to enjoy the comforts of a hotel room.

You were about to doze off until you heard your phone vibrate. Excited that Sungho, Jaehyun or the rest texted you, your eyes immediately opened and your hand flew to the nightstand, where your phone was placed, and you turned it on to check your notifications.

unknown : Hi unknown : Don't ghost me unknown : I have your clothes

What. The. Fuck. Who was this stalker?!

y/n : who the fuck are you. y/n : are you fucking STALKING ME

unknown : You fucking dumbass unknown : Don't flatter yourself unknown : The poor guy who got ghosted for absolutely no reason unknown : Remember him?

Oh my god.

jake : The poor guy who so happened to be me?

y/n : i figured

jake : Still no remorse?

y/n : can you shut the fuck up

You made a disgusted face at your screen, irritated by his attitude.

jake : Oh? jake : Okay. jake : Rooftop in 5 or else i'm throwing your clothes down the building.

You gasped loudly, sitting up on your bed.

y/n : you would not FUCKING DARE.

And before you knew it, you were out the door.

You sipped the drink that Jake had made, tapping your tongue at the roof of your mouth to taste the drink, before you made a satisfied expression, raising your eyebrows.

After a long day at the cooking workshop for day 3, you decided that you wanted to make coffee for yourself at the shared hotel kitchen room, missing your barista job when you realise that Jake was already there.

You two were bickering, when you two eventually came to an agreement that Jake would make you something.

Without poisoning you, of course.

You licked your lips as you frowned, looking at him afterwards. "Hate to give it to you.. but—"

"It's good, right?" he interrupted, his arms folded and his head high, feeling proud of the drink he made.

You rolled your eyes at how he praised himself. "You're thinking too highly of yourself," you commented, "But it's not bad".

He grinned in satisfaction, the compliment filling a part of the void in his heart. You continued, "You're actually kinda good at this".

"Well, duh? I'm close to your boss?"

You pursed your lips, "Whatever".

jake (DNI) : Want my drink again?

You were surprised to see the notification pop up at the top of your phone. You didn't think it through when you drank his coffee when you were literally about to sleep, now you were struggling.

y/n : you wish. y/n : i literally cant sleep

And the next surprising thing? It was the fact the two of you texted until you both fell asleep, just like how you two texted when you were on that dating app. However, this time was different, because you didn't feel like pulling away.

"You're more tolerable these days," you mumbled, barely audible that Jake almost missed it. Jake's eyebrows raised and he froze for a second, taking a moment to process what you'd just said. He cleared his throat and scratched his neck, recovering from your sudden comment.

Everyone around the table made low sounds of approval as they understood what happened, giving each other the eye and smirking. For the entire of day 4, it was a free day to let everyone explore, and your group decided that shopping to get souvenirs was a good idea.

You didn't even know how, but Jake suddenly appeared with your group but you didn't fight against it, slowly growing used to his presence.

After gathering back at the hotel, everyone, including the leaders, were having dinner together. You also didn't even know how but Jake ended up sitting beside you, and after being teased by the rest, Jake popped the question "What do you think about me?" to tease you further, which led to that answer.

You didn't know why you were so blunt. You didn't know why you weren't having the usual banter with him — you didn't feel like it. You ignored all the mummers and sounds from others, picking up your fork and slightly playing with your food.

"So I've looked through your activity recommendations for tomorrow when you guys submitted your forms, and we decided between two activities!" one of the leaders announced and you folded your arms, sleepily resting your head on Rei's shoulder as everyone paid close attention.

"Probably gonna be boring, huh?" you commented.

"Yup, maybe," Rei responded.

The leader continued, "FIrst activity would be ocean gazing at the nearby beach!".

There were sounds of approval across the crowd, people looking at each other and nodding excitedly.

"And the next would be star gazing at the nearby school's rooftop!"

Your eyes immediately scanned the room for Jake. You observed how his face lit up — his eyes about to pop out, his eyes widened, his mouth agape and you noticed how he smacks his friend in excitement. You giggled to yourself, finding him cute how he was so excited for the activity.

"Who're you looking at?" "No one!" your head immediately shot forward, your smile dropping and your posture straightening.

Rei gave you a doubtful look but brushed it away.

"You guys would have to vote between the two!" the leader continued, and you noticed from your peripheral view how Jake's shoulders slowly dropped.

Your chest slightly tightened at his mood change, you immediately turned to Rei. You voiced out, "Say, isn't star gazing so cool?".

"Huh? But ocean gazing sounds more—" "Nahh, you have the opportunity to do that back home! Unlike for star gazing!" you tried to convince her. "Hmm, you have a point.."

It was your victory when it was declared that star gazing was the chosen activity. You'd been going around, convincing people that star gazing was the better option and to your luck, they were all open-minded to your idea.

As the activity was declared, you watched how Jake punched the air in excitement, your chest tightening and your stomach feeling queesy at the sight.

"Hnnm? Who's got you smiling to yourself?" Jaehyun bumps his shoulder and your face immediately stones up. You didn't respond in hopes he'd magically forget that you were giggling to yourself.

He leaned in, inspecting your face, smiling while pointing at you, "Ohh? You're even red!".

You slapped your hand onto Jaehyun's mouth, "You better stop!".

You would be jumping for joy, but instead you were down, staring into nothing with your heart feeling empty. For some reason, Jake felt distant. It would already be a surprise if you two conversed without getting onto each other's necks, but the fact that he hasn't teased or argued with you once this day?

You occasionally took glances at Jake, often making eye contact but instead of him making a snarky expression, he immediately broke eye contact and turned away, his expression unreadable.

You sucked your inner cheek, feeling unsure to why your chest was tightening at such sight. You should've been happy right? He's finally leaving you alone just like you've always wanted.

But at the same time, you wish he'd just tease you at least once. It was driving you crazy at the possibility that he was ignoring you. He was just okay yesterday, so why the sudden shift overnight?

"Is that a telescope?! Looks so cool!" Woonhak exclaimed as he started jogging towards the telescope that was placed beside the fence on the rooftop.

The rooftop was dark, the area being lit up by the lights around. You could hear loud conversation sparsed out in the area, each of them being thrilled and in awe by the night sky. The sky had countless of bright gems, the view looking spectacular.

You folded your arms as your friends wrapped their arms around your shoulder, running and dragging you towards the telescope. Today felt off, you didn't really feel like doing anything but you couldn't just sit out.

Sungho patted your back, "C'mon, I don't know what's wrong but you can't possibly still be sad after seeing this view?".

You shrugged, tilting your head upwards as you saw the view, in awe as you grinned to yourself. You turned down and looked up ahead, and there was the telescope. You saw a group of people approaching it, peeking into the scope and hearing sounds of curiousity and enthusiasm.

Your eyes looked around, and you saw someone behind the group of people. You watched how Jake tapped his feet impatiently, smiling to himself and filddling with his fingers as he peeked over the people's shoulders, wondering when they'd be done so it'd be his turn.

Your friends talked to each other, your mind somewhere else as you stared at the boy. Once it was his turn, his whole body shook and he started to walk towards the telescope. You beamed at nothing, enjoying the sight of lively Jake, but right before he peeked into the scope, he turned around.

He turned around and his eyes scanned the crowd, until it met yours. However, this time he didn't break it, and neither did you. You two stared each other for a brief moment, and you gave him a genuine smile for the first time ever. He weakly gave you a grin, and you nodded and gestured for him to look into it quickly.

You knew it had always been his passion, and though you hated his guts, you had to admit that a part of you was happy for him.

"You came back?" you questioned, and Jake immediately turned his head from the telescope. He was stunned to see you, eyeing you up and down.

"Ms Anxiety's here too?" he remarked as he pouted, his expression unreadable again.

Everyone had returned to the hotel 2 hours ago, and by right you were supposed to be sleeping by now, but you couldn't brush away the thought that Jake was purposely avoiding you earlier in the day.

"Nickname's getting old," you pursed your lips, dragging your feet and sitting on the floor beside him.

"This is getting old," he shot and you looked at him, puzzled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Us," he declared, and he finally leaned back from the telescope, looking down at you and for once, you could finally read his expression. His eyes were filled with hurt, and his frown was genuine. He wasn't looking for a fight — he felt wronged and hurt, and he was finally showing it. You two stared into each other for a period of time, the sound of your heart beat loud in your ears.

He broke the silence, "Why did you do that?".

"Do what?"

"Convince everyone to go star gazing?"

"You.. knew?"

"Of course I did. I'd be a blind fuck if I didn't," he snarked.

You stared into his eyes and frowned, struggling to form words. You knew the reason, but you didn't want to admit it. There was another period of silence, as you were lost in your own thought.

"I thought about it over and over this entire day," he stepped back from the telescope and took a step towards you, "and I've concluded that it was for me, wasn't it?".

He squatted down in front of you, his eyes full of vulnerability. If you were in your normal state, you'd throw out curse words, slap him and run away as usual, but this time you felt the unusual urge to be honest, open up, tell him the truth.

"It was," your voice was quiet, your eyes never leaving his.

He sighed as he looked away, scratching his neck. " I just want to ask," he turned back at you, "Why did you do it?".

He didn't need to specify what he was talking about. You knew exactly what he was referring to, and it wasn't the reason why you were running around and convincing everyone to go star gazing, but you played dumb.

"Because star gazing is—"

"No," he cut you off, his voice stern, "I don't care about that. I'm talking about why you ghosted me".

He turned his head back to you, his eyes on you. The question was heavy, and even if he was the one who was wronged, you could tell that he was still patient. His gaze wasn't scary, it was welcoming. His eyes were softened as he waited for you to think about a response.

You looked at him, guilt taking over as you built up courage and forced yourself to maintain eye contact. You pursed your lips and scratched your neck, having the reason in your head but being unable to form proper words.

"It.." you started, "Was scary".

He tilted his neck as you said one sentence that was completely vague.

"I really liked you, you were fun," you confessed, "I've never texted someone so much in my life before," your eyes drifted away, feeling slightly embarrased, "But it was getting too real".

Your eyes wandered back to his, and you could see a soft frown on his head, the creases on his forehead slightly visible.

"It was scary, I was scared," you continued, "I started to make myself hate you, put a distance, push you away".

"But fate's crazy, brought us together, and here we are, hating each other," you commented.

"Are you sure?" he questioned, doubt in his voice.

"Well, of course fate brought us together, if not—"

"I'm asking about the 'hate' part. Are you sure you hate me?"

You stared at him, being completely speechless. You wanted to be open about your feelings, confess how you felt, and as soon as you were about to open your mouth, you started to get second thoughts

What if he hurts you? What if he makes fun of you? What if—

"Yes," your response came out quiet, barely audible and you looked down, not having the conscious to look at him in the eye.

There was a moment of silence before he said "Okay" loudly and turned away, walking back towards the telescope. You looked up at him, puzzled as to why he wasn't reacting.

"W-what?"

"You said you hate me, so why are you still here?"

You had to think about it for a second, "I don't—".

"You don't know. You hate me, so just go," he demanded.

You were confused as to why he was shutting you out now. You've always hated each other, so what's different now?

"Jake, why are you acting like this?" you questioned without thinking.

He scoffed before turning back, a smirk on his face, "Why am I acting like this?". He took a few steps, standing directly in front of you, your faces a few centimetres away from each other.

"Why do you think, Y/N?" he smiled, but it wasn't a welcoming one. It was a frightening one.

You simply stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"Call me crazy but, even over only text, I've smiled and laughed way more with you compared to the people I've been on actual dates with," he confessed, "And I was patient and understanding with you, and yet you left because it was... 'getting too real'?".

He scoffed, ruffling his hair in frustration and laughing to himself as if this was all a joke. You wanted to express your true thoughts, but he continued to talk before you could.

"And you say all of that, yet you still do things for me that make me question... everything?"

You frowned at his sentence, not knowing what he was referring to, "Question.. everything?"

"Question if what we had was real."

He sucked his inner cheek, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at you, fury in his eyes.

"Laugh at me all you want, call me someone who's emotional over someone 'online', I don't care anymore," he declared, "Don't talk to me anymore. Don't do anything for me, Y/N, I don't want to associate with you anymore".

He sharply turned his back to you, and your heart ached at the sight. You bit your lip, not having enough courage to face him, especially now when he was so pent up with fury. He walked back towards the telescope, leaning and looking through the scope.

You wanted to walk to him, tap his shoulder and just talk everything out, but what was the point? You two weren't even friends. You.. hate him, so what's the point? What's there to talk about?

You bit your lip hard, clenching your fists, turning your back and walked away, fighting every urge to just turn back and confess everything to him. You couldn't even mutter an apology — you didn't have the guts to.

It was the last day, and you were supposed to be having fun — clinking glasses with other people, swim with other people in the pool, dance to the music, but here you were, sitting on a bench far away from everyone, staring into blank space as memories of the previous day kept coming to your head.

Your chest felt heavy and you didn't have the energy to do anything. You stood up from the bench, wanting to go back to your hotel room to pack up your things for the flight tomorrow, but before you could leave, someone gripped your wrist.

"Y/N! Where are you going? Let's go for a swim!"

You turned around and it was Rei, and you were about to nicely decline, but before you could do that, she started to pull you towards the pool.

"Eh? R-Rei, wait-! My necklace!" you panicked, using your free hand and trying to get your necklace off but before you knew it, she dragged you into the water with her, making you completely submerge into the water.

You panicked because you didn't know how to swim at all, but when you kicked, your feet immediately came into contact with the pool floor, so you stood up, everything from your shoulder being in the surface.

You pouted at Rei, "I'm going to kill you".

She giggled cheekily and started to run in water, "Not if you can't catch me!".

Packing your luggage, you were mentally ticking things off from the list you made at the back of your head, touching and rummaging through your luggage to confirm the item's presence.

After a few hours, you pretty much packed everything, but there was this one item in your list you couldn't quite remember what it was. You tried walking around your hotel to get visual cues on what the last item could possibly be, walking into rooms and turning on the light then standing still for a moment to try to recall the item.

You walked around like an idiot, a puzzled expression on your face throughout and you sat down on your bed, feeling defeated when you layed down, staring at your ceiling. You scratched your neck in confusion, but you realised that the sensation felt different.

And that's when you realised — your necklace is gone. You sat up from your bed, patting your neck violently in hopes a cold metal would come into contact with your hand, but to no avail. You started to inspect your body thoroughly, hoping to feel a hard bump anywhere especially in your pockets, but absolutely nothing.

You immediately stood up, letting out sounds of panick as you frantically looked around, searching high and low as you opened and closed cupboards frantically, hoping it would appear in your sight. You even checked under the bed, the bathroom, trash can, and you paced around the room.

That's when you remembered — the swimming pool.

Your eyes widened and your shoulders dropped when you remembered trying to frantically remove your necklace before Rei dragged you in the water.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

That was the fastest you ran out of your hotel room, not having any thoughts to bring your phone or other personal belongings. You headed straight for the pool, praying to all the Gods above that you'd be able to find your necklace.

Searching frantically, you ran around the swimming pool area and tried to recall when you were still here, trying to retrace your steps. You've checked the perimeters of the pool, every single corner of all of the benches, each crevice you stumble upon, and yet there was nothing.

"Finding something?" a voice scared you and you jumped. You immediately turned around, a frown plastered across your face from the stress and then you realised who it was.

"Jake? What're you doing here?" you questioned, blinking awkwardly as you recalled your argument the previous day. You suddenly became fully conscious of the way you stood and looked, stiffening up as you pursed your lips.

"Couldn't sleep, need help?" he replied, dark eyebags obvious under his eyes.

You stared at him, slightly bewildered to the difference in his personality compared to the previous day. You recalled his words, feeling the same hurt again, and at the same time, thinking how you could avoid hurting him again.

"It's okay if you don't—" he was about to turn his back. "No!" you yelled, ducking down slightly and checking the area, hoping there weren't any teachers checking the area.

When you realised you were in the clear, you stood normally, "I need.. your help".

The facial expression on his face softened and he sighed, "What are you looking for?".

"My mom's necklace," you answered promptly, making him raise your eyebrows.

"The same one you mentioned that one time?"

"The exact same".

He gave you a reassuring look, silently letting you know that you weren't alone in finding it. You didn't know how to react to him suddenly acting different, but that was something out of your concerns. You needed the necklace before you leave.

The two of you checked the area again, on the tables, cabiets, near the benches, the perimeters of the pool, but absolutely nothing. You were stressed out, pulling your hair in frustration when he suddenly spoke up.

"Have you checked the water?"

You looked up at him and frowned, "No? Why would it—" and then you recalled that Rei dragged you into the pool, "Oh".

You puffed up your cheeks, "You're right".

He sat down on a nearby chair, "I'll wait for you to change and come back".

You raised an eyebrow at him, taking a step into the water, "What are you talking about? I'm going in now".

He looked slightly amused to see you step in with your pyjamas, following you inside afterwards. You were wearing your precious pyjamas, while he was wearing a normal top with basketball shorts.

You felt awkward because you weren't in the proper clothes to be in the pool, but you could care less. You had one goal and that was all that mattered. The two of you split up, taking different sides of the pool, but when you heard the sudden sloshing sound of water, you immediately turned to be met with the sight of Jake raising his hand in the air, with something metallic and shiny dangling from his hand.

"Bingo," he declared and you immediately ran (in water..) to him. Your eyes widened and weight was taken off of your shoulders, the constant ache in your chest from worry slowly disappearing.

"You found it?!" you asked a rhetorical question, your eyes never leaving your precious necklace. It was a necklace you've worn every single day and cherished because it was something your mother gave to you before she passed on.

"I did," he smiled at you.

You ran up to him, placing your hands on his chest, trying to take the necklace from his hand but he straightened his arm, making the necklace out of reach. You pouted at him as you tried to jump for it, which was practically impossible because your clothes were drenched and so heavy it was pulling you down, and his arms were too long.

You whined and he teased you back and forth, both of you laughing loudly. You both played in water, splashing each other and making waves as you tried to fight for your necklace.

It was almost like yesterday didn't happen. It was almost like he never asked you to stay away from him.

"God, Jake, give it back! I still need to finish up my packing!" you whined, a smile never leaving your face.

He gave a smug expression, "Okay, fine".

You waddled towards him to stand in front of him, and you watched him offer your necklace. You felt content, feeling satisfied after finding the thing you were so desperate to fnd, reaching your hand to grab onto it until he suddenly raised his hand up again.

You stumbled and fell forward, his hands immediately catching you and your hands landing on his chest as you tried to stabilise yourself. You blinked a couple of times, processing what had just happened before you slowly looked up to be met by his gaze.

Your faces were too close for comfort, and you only blinked at him. Your face grew more red by the second as you understood what was happening, and you wanted to step backwards, but you were frozen.

His jaw clenched as he stared at you, feeling flabbergasted as well. He slowly lowered his arm, your necklace just dangling next to his face. You bit your lip and gently took the necklace from his hand, and he didn't resist at all.

"Uhm," you looked away and scratched your neck, "Thanks".

Your eyes wandered back to his again, only to see the same expression on his face and you immediately felt nervous, so you wanted to make your leave.

"Well, uhm, thanks, I'll be—" you turned your back but he quickly grabbed your hand, preventing you from turning further.

"Don't.." his voice came out as a soft whisper, "Don't go".

You slowly turned back, seeing his pleading expression and all the thoughts about leaving the pool left your head.

"I'm sorry," he said in the midst of nowhere, catching you when you were unguarded, "I said things yesterday, and I said it because I was.. out of it.

Your gaze remained on him, watching how his eyes flicker from left to right as he felt regretful. You sucked your inner cheek, feeling guilty, "No, you were right".

There was silence, the only sounds audible is the sound of water slowly flowing and crickets. You noticed how his eyes flickered to your lips, his grip on your waist tightening. The space between the two of you was basically non-existent, the tension in the air growing stronger to the point you couldn't just walk away without doing anything.

He licked his lips, and you watched the way his tongue runs across his lip. His mouth parts and your eyes meet his again, sensing the desperation and need in his eyes. Your arms snake around his neck, and both of your faces leaned in closer, your foreheads resting on each other.

You slowly closed your eyes, leaning in until you heard a loud shout.

"WHO'S THERE?!"

The two of you immediately came back to reality, your heads turning rapidly as you tried to scan the area and detect where that sound was from.

"Shit, shit shit! Go go go!" he panicked, holding your hand and dragging you out of the pool. You followed along, running as fast as you can even with the pyjamas slowing you down, running into the hotel and drenching the carpet with all the water dripping.

You two laughed as you run across the halls, the trail of water being left as your mark, hearing the teacher run after you. The two of you ran up the stairs, deciding that the lift would screw the both of you over, and when you reached your level, you tugged on Jake's hand.

"This is my floor!" you announced and he grinned at you, panting.

"Okay, go now, g'nite!" he let go of your hand and continued to climb the stairs, the sounds of the teacher rushing up the stairs echoing through the entire staircase, and you immediately opened the door on your floor that led to the hallways, making it to your room and opening the door swiftly.

You shut the door locked, your back pressed up against your door as you stayed silent, trying to listen for any signs of the teacher outside, After a period of time, you concluded that you were in the clear.

It was literally 1AM, and you were in your pyjamas, drenched and literally dripping. You sighed as you immediately made your way to your bathroom to take a shower after ensuring your necklace was kept in a safe spot.

Did last night really just happen? Was it a dream? Was the way he looked at you real? Was the way he leaned in genuine? Were you two about to kiss? What would've happened if you two kissed? Would it all be real—

"Y/N!" a voice snapped you out of your day dream. Jaehyun frowned, folding his arms as he positioned himself directly in front of you, "I've said your name 5 times, and you still can't hear me! Are you okay?!".

You huffed out air, scratching your neck, suddenly fully conscious of your surroundings. "Sorry 'bout that.." you puffed up your cheeks and eyes wandered around, hoping to catch one person.

"I swear, Y/N has completely flipped, the person she was before this trip...." Sungho started, but his voice slowly started to fade out in your ears when your eyes finally land on him.

Jake was smiling as per usual, as if nothing had happened last night, and your chest ached slightly at the sight, making you question if it was only you feeling confused about the whole situation. You wanted to approach him, confront him, but a part of you wished he did it first.

You cleared your throat, shaking the thoughts away as you tried to forget about it. Maybe you'll get a chance to talk to him before you board, or when you're on the plane. Definitely.

"Who're you looking for?" Woonhak questioned, and you immediately shook your hands as if you'd just gotten caught.

"No one!" you defended yourself, your voice high pitched and Woonhak nodded, looking away. He knew you were lying but he didn't want to push it.

Everyone was collecting their luggages, but for some reason, even before, during, and after the 7 hour flight, you have not seen him at all. You haven't gotten the chance to talk to him at all, and it was driving you mad.

You couldn't bring yourself to ask anyone else, because you knew it would just be endless teasing until you die, so you kept it to yourself, hoping a miracle would happen and that he'd be right in front of you.

But nothing.

Next place you'd look to find him? Work. But even so..

"Ah, hey Y/N! You're back! Just wanted to know we opened a new outlet in the other area and we already planned to shift you there!"

Next place..? The dating app.

But you tried searching his user, finding your old chats, but it was all missing. Absolutely no traces of him.

Maybe it was fate for you to forget him. I mean, what can be so hard about it, right? You've already hated his guts, wishing the worst for him, but at the same time, you remembered the image of him leaning in, making you shudder and kick your legs in confusion.

You screamed into your pillow, hoping that you could just forget him and the things you've done for the past few months. Maybe you shouldn't have met him, or downloaded that stupid app. If not everything would've been okay.

"Ah, Y/N? That's such a lovely name!" the male sitting the opposite of you complimented, and you gave a small smile.

You decided that dating apps do work, and that Jake wasn't really that special, right? If Jake had been implanted in your mind, it can be the same for other people you meet! Or so you thought.

You were fiddling with your fingers, looking through your bag for a non-existent item, going through your phone when you were literally on a date, and worst of all — you wished it was Jake sitting in front of you.

You hated him? Maybe, but did you wish for his presence? Definitely.

The male in front of you started talking about himself, showing off his status and wealthiness, and you nodded repeatedly to show you were physically listening, but your mind was somewhere else.

That was when you suddenly felt a grip on your wrist and a strong tug, making you gasp loudly and shoot your eyes towards the person who was pulling onto you.

"Jake?! What are you—"

"Sorry bro, she's booked by me," Jake faced your date and patted the guy's back, who's jaw was dropped. Poor boy.

Jake dragged you out after you finished packing up your things in a swift, and as soon as you were outside, you snatched your wrist back, frowning at him and giving him a snarky look.

"What do you think you're doing?!" you snapped, feeling completely taken-aback by his rude appearance. You just wanted to run back in and apologise to your date for Jake's rudeness.

"Saving you, what do you think?" he replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrows at you. He continued, "And also, you're willing to go on a date with that.. dude? And you can't even meet up with me?".

"What do you mean saving?! And you make my date sound like he's a bad guy or something! I'm going to apologis—" you scolded, turning your back to walk back in until he held your wrist again.

"Nah—uh, you're staying here with me. I paid for the bill already, ordered a few extra drinks for the man, so you have nothing to apologise for," he voiced out.

You turned back to face him again, "Okay?! But that doesn't change the fact that I'm just rudely leaving him?!".

"Why does that matter? You're never gonna see him again," he asserted, and you glared at him.

"How do you know that, huh?"

"Because I'm here."

You scoffed as you snatched your wrist again, folding your arms, "You've been gone from my life for a while, and you're suddenly here and you still have the audacity to think that I still like you?!".

"So you admit you liked me?" he smiled.

"Not the fucking point."

He sighed and folded his arms, pacing in a small circle before his eyes settled back on you. He spoke, "If you don't want me to take you on a date right now, walk back in," he raised up his hand, "I'll give you 5 seconds".

"5" "4" "3" "2"

He looked at you, the amusement in his face never leaving.

"1"

And he finally closed all his fingers, the smile on his face widening. He extended his hand, gesturing for you to take it, "Let's go on a real date now, shall we?".

You silently took his hand, the frown still on your face, "I thought you ghosted me".

"Well, taste of your own fucking medicine, no?".

You and him did so many things together, and you could finally say that you were having a good time, unlike when you were having that dinner date with the other boy. You were laughing like there was no tomorrow, running around as he chased you down and tickled you when he caught you.

He kept telling you things like "This is what I wanted to do when I asked you to go out" which made your heart flutter, but he always had to add salt to the wound by saying something cold like "But someone felt the need to avoid me".

You and him ran up the staircase of the building, barging the door open where you were met with the night view. The rooftop was chilly, the cold wind blowing and Jake closed the door behind the two of you. You were in awe when you saw the stars in the sky, the sky looking so bright, more than you could've imagined.

"Say," he broke the silence, "Since I trust you won't run away now, could I ask of you to do the thing I've been wanting to do the most ever since?".

You glanced at him, puzzled to what he was referring to, but you saw him offer his hand. Still confused to what he was referring to, you took his hand in hopes he'd give you context.

"Let's dance," he asked and you were flabbergasted.

"So suddenly?" you choked, "But we have no music!".

"So what?" he twirled you around, his hands finding comfort in your waist afterwards.

You frowned at him, raising an eyebrow at him, "If someone thinks we're crazy, I'm going to blame you".

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Okay, sure whatever".

It started to quietten down as the two of you start to focus on each other, eye contact never breaking as he started to initiate the dance. The dance was.. slow. He took small steps, making it easier for you to follow along and when you accidentally tripped on his shoe, he quickly caught you, his hands around your waist. You were feeling doubtful of yourself, but he gave you a reassuring smile which gave you the courage to continue.

He slowly started to speed up as you started to get the hang of it, your body starting to feel less awkward and moving with the flow. You started to feel comfortable, the thought of someone suddenly coming to the rooftop and judging the two of you disappearing.

He twirled you around, the grin on his face never-leaving as he watched you. You were so sure he could hear your heart beat from how fast it was beating, and you teasingly stuck your tongue out at him, earning a loud chuckle which broke the silence.

The two of your bodies moved along with each other, your rhythms matching each others' even if there was no music to cue the both of you. He moved passionately with you, and you felt like you could do this all night.

Your eyes left his for a second to glance at the sky once again, and although you could see this every night, for some reason it seemed like the stars were shining brighter.

The stars seemed brighter, the sky looked prettier, and the moon's glow looked more ethereal.

"Hey," he broke the silence.

Your eyes fell back on his, curiosity filling you, "What?".

"You're more fun when you don't run away," he confessed.

He wasn't being mean or mocking you. He was being honest. Genuine.

You stared at him in awe, being lost in his gaze.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked you, making your smile drop.

"What?" you muttered out, being caught off-guard that he asked such question. You were surprised that he'd ask you that out of the blue, but instead of feeling the need to push him and run away, you stayed on the spot and stared at him.

"I know you heard me," he stopped his tracks as well, the two of you now just standing and staring at each other.

You blinked at him, not believing what is about to happen. You suddenly remembered the time at the swimming pool, and your face turned red.

"Oh-ho, the moonlight isn't helping you!" he pointed at you, "I can see you blush!".

Your jaw dropped and your arms releases from his neck, cupping your cheeks and feeling your cheeks physically become hot. You avoided his gaze and turned your head from side to side, feeling nervous.

"I—" you muttered, only forming incoherent words.

His teasing made you feel embarrased, and you wanted to run to a corner to prepare yourself, but before you could turn away, he held your hands, "Nah-uh, I literally just complimented you for not running away".

You licked your lips, avoiding his gaze as you allowed him to inspect your face further, feeling more conscious of yourself.

"Look at me, please," he pleaded, and after a few seconds of building courage, you finally looked at him and saw vulnerability and love in his eyes.

"I'll ask again, okay?" he stated, "Actually no, I won't even ask—". He declared, "I want to kiss you".

Your eyes widened and your face grew even more red, the tips of your ears starting to become red as well.

"If you want to kiss me too, please say it too," he softly whispered, his eyebrows furrowing upwards as he grew more nervous to see how you'd respond.

"I.." your voice was quiet, "want to kiss you too..".

His eyes widened, and before you knew it, his lips clashed onto yours.

The kiss was slow and patient, as if he was being patient with you. It was similar to how he's been patient with you this entire time when you've been ghosting and pushing him away. You were awkward at first, feeling afraid and wanting to just disappear, but when he pulled you closer to him, it was almost like he was reassuring that he won't run away and hurt you.

You finally gave in, letting yourself loose after keeping your guard up for so long. The kiss felt heavenly, and it felt like a huge weigh on your back was finally removed. Your face grew even more red and your heart was beating more rapidly, your hands turning into fists as you fought the urge to push him away.

His lips felt like heaven. It was so comforting, and the way his lips moved with yours was perfect. He tilted your neck and snuck his tongue in after you finally started to kiss him back, earning a soft gasp from you. He explored the depths of your mouth, making you let out a moan.

Upon hearing your moan, he froze and instantly pulled back, "Did you just.. moan?".

"Shut the fuck up!"

He laughed out loud and you felt so irritated at his teasing, making you raise your fist. Seeing your raised fist was his cue to start running, and you chased him around, throwing curse words and threatening him that if you ever caught him, he'd be dead.

Originally, this was how you pushed him away, but in the end after you've confronted your feelings, this is how you pull him closer —no more running away, embracing and confronting the connection you both shared.

extra note : dare i say this is inspired by a real life experience except it wasnt fun and thrilling like this and i ghosted him after like 1.5 days lol

taglist @cutehoons02 @vixialuvs @jvngw0nlvr @ikeulove @addictedtohobi @miszes

[hellspawnmotel]

love your blog and your art!! and realised ive been following you for almost ten years so thank you for the quality posts

have you got any thoughts on ralsei and noelle in terms of both of them taking on “the girl” role in the game? or i guess rather ralsei trying to be the girl in his own meta and sorta weird way. i know youve drawn them together a couple times but would love to hear any analysis if you have thoughts (if youve already posted about this and i missed it my bad! feel free to ignore)

well damn that's flattering. wish I had some kind of membership program so I could give you a little gift, haha

anyway. this is something I've touched on before but only really spelled out once so you're good. I think there's several factors at play with ralsei's metatextual femininity: his status as the party squishy mage/healer, his status as kris's (and by extension, the player's) love interest, his obsession with roles and subservience, and the fact that ralsei is probably meant to be as appealing to the player as possible. none of those things are INHERENTLY feminine of course, but they are in the context of a story with an audience. we don't know for sure yet how ralsei feels about all that, but I'd wager he either thinks he wants it or thinks it has to be his purpose and he wants to do a good job at it. ralsei is like..... the wife. he's the perfect wife. and he's really good at it! the audience LOVES ralsei! whenever my art gets reposted on reddit, there are way more romantically charged or even sexually explicit comments about ralsei than any other character. when I posted my "choose your bride" illustration, most of the people commenting said they would choose ralsei over noelle, with some even saying that it's because noelle "already belongs to susie".

and that leads into his parallels with noelle. like ralsei, noelle is a fragile magic user, is generally more shy and demure (though both of them can break out of that easily), is shown as pining for the object of her affections, and she's slotted into the role of "the love interest" for susie (or for kris/the player, but I'm gonna focus on normal route here). the ferris wheel scene also directly parallels the acid tunnel of love- both forcing the two "couples" to be alone together in a deliberately romantic setting with nothing to do but talk. I've already talked plenty about noelle's roles as the girl, the bride, the damsel, etc. so I won't get into it again, but I think the connections made between kralsei and suselle are worth keeping an eye on. there's nothing to indicate that susie and noelle's budding romance is anything but sweet and genuine, but at the same time you have to wonder what it means that the game is pushing them together in a way so similar to kris and ralsei.

to reference classic jrpg dragon quest v: hand of the heavenly bride, nera comes out of nowhere and was tailor-made to be a wife, while bianca is a childhood friend you have an actual prior connection with. but it doesn't really matter who you choose to marry. in the end they both get kidnapped and sidelined as soon as they're done having your babies.