#ive never seen a design from someone else that was so perfectly me

[pasta5284]

LOOK AT THE DESIGN MY BOYF GOT ME‼️‼️‼️ ITS LITERALLY ME ITS SO GOOD

[cactusnymph]

Prompt fill #2 for @dimension20alphabet:

Books

I.

 Adaine finds the first book two weeks after Aelwyn moves into her room. At first she is confused because Adaine knows her books and the one she finds lying on top of her pillow has a blue cover with silver rimming that she’s never seen before. As she steps closer and takes it into her hand she wonders if Aelwyn forgot it here.

 The title reads “Divinatory Practices Across The World”.

 It certainly doesn’t seem like a book Aelwyn would be interested in so Adaine sits down on her bed, opens the book and flips through the pages. She finds it interesting to read about divination magic in other nations, especially because she insists on being the oracle to all people.

 When Aelwyn comes back she finds Adaine still reading on her bed.

 “Is this yours?”, Adaine asks as Aelwyn takes off her jacket and kicks her shoes into the corner behind the door. Aelwyn’s eyes dart over to her.

 “No”, she says before she starts rummaging through her closet.

 Adaine considers asking more questions, but the book is too interesting to stop reading. She files her questions away for later and opens the book again.

 II.

 The second book is tucked into her schoolbag one morning as she’s about to stuff an apple between the heavy books. Adaine immediately recognizes that it’s not one of the books she needs for school and furrows her brows as she carefully takes it out to look at it.

 It’s a beautiful leatherbound book with an intricately design cover that shows a lush, green forest with fairies dancing around a campfire. The title is printed in golden letters.

 “Rebel Fairies – A Modern Retelling Of Elven Fairy Tales”

 While Adaine would never say that her mother was good at parenting she took some time to tell her daughters various elven fairy tales from the “homeland” and Adaine remembers vividly how little she liked most of them.

 “Morning, Adaine”, Jawbone says as he enters the kitchen in his cardigan, holding a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a book about Polyamory for beginners in the other hand. For a split second Adaine wonders why Jawbone would need that, since he doesn’t strike her as much of a beginner, but then thinks that maybe the book is for Sandralynn.

 “Good morning”, she answers and holds up the book. “Do you know who put this in my bag?”

 “Huh? No. I’ve never seen that before”, Jawbone says sits down at the kitchen table. Adaine hesitates for a second, then she stuffs the book back into her bag and grabs her apple.

 “Have a good day at school, kiddo”, Jawbone calls after her.

 III.

 Adaine finds out why Jawbone had a book about Polyamory for beginners the same day she finds the third book in her closet. This one is quite thin, bound in white and with a caged dove on the cover.

 It seems to be a collection of poems titled “From The Ashes” by an author she’s never heard of before. While flipping through the pages she finds the dedication in the front.

 “For all the children who grew up unloved”

 Adaine stuffs the book back into the closet and slams the door shut, her eyes stinging.

 When she walks down the stairs she meets Ragh in front of his room, looking sheepish and with a familiar book under his arm while he’s talking to Gorgug.

 “Adaine! You ok? You look a little pale, dude”, Ragh says and clasps his giant hand on Adaine’s back which makes her cough a little. Gorgug looks a little like a deer in headlights as he scratches the back of his neck.

 “I’m fine”, Adaine says and looks from Gorgug to Ragh and back again. “Do any of you happen to know who’s giving me books?”

 “I’m not really allowed to read”, Gorgug says.

 “That’s not true. Ayda just says you shouldn’t read about magic, bro”, Ragh says fondly and Adaine looks pointedly down at the book under his arm that spells Polyamory for beginners in big, red letters.

 “So, none of you know anything?”, she asks again. Gorgug’s face turns darkgreen when he notices that Adaine has seen the book.

 “I didn’t put books anywhere”, Ragh says and holds up his hand in a promising gesture.

 Adaine sighs.

 “Ok. I’m happy for you guys, by the way”, she says as she turns around to walk further downstairs.

 Later that evening, while Aelwyn is taking a shower, Adaine opens the closet again and grabs the little book of poems, hides it under her pillow and reads it all on one night under her blanket with a little globule of light floating above the pages.

 IV.

 Usually Adaine has a very particular filing system for her books.

 She makes an exception for the books she keeps finding all over the place, all curated perfectly to her tastes—sometimes without her knowing about it before she opens them.

 Adaine makes room for the mysteriously appearing books on the top of one of her shelves and puts them all there in their order of appearence. After the first three, she found one made up completely of pictures of various colorful frogs, a graphic novel about a librarian with a secret identity who goes out to punch villains at night, a translation of a diary kept by one of the former elven oracles, a children’s book explaining trauma and a science fiction novel about the ragtag crew of a spaceship building a found family on their travels.

 She reads all of them with care and marks the parts and pages that she likes the most with colorful post-its. It feels like the whole house has entered this book-conspiracy against her.

 “Hey Adaine, I found this on your part of the shelf in the bathroom.”

 “Oh, by the way, kiddo, this was in the mail for you today.”

 “Dude, there was another one on your favorite armchair.”

 Suspiciously, none of them ask questions about these books. Which leads Adaine to believe that they’re all in on it.

 When Aelwyn walks in one Sunday morning to find Adaine standing in front of her shelf, looking at all her newly collected books with a smile she crosses her arms in front of her chest and looks at Adaine thoughtfully.

 “Read anything interesting lately?”, she asks.

 V.

 “So. When are you going to admit that you’re the one sneaking all these books into my stuff?”

 Aelwyn looks up. She’s painting her nails black with great care.

 “What are you talking about?”, she asks with a raise of her left eyebrow. Adaine crosses her arms over her chest.

 “No one knows me this well, you know? There’s really no one else who could have picked all of these”, Adaine says and watches Aelwyn carefully.

 She’s still very guarded and too good at masking her feelings. It has gotten better during the last months but Aelwyn remains behind her walls most of the time.

 At Adaine’s words, there is a flicker of something on her sister’s face and she puts the nail polish down.

 “Are you accusing me of being secretly nice to you? Why ever would I hide doing nice things for you, Adaine?”

 Adaine sighs.

 “Because you have a hard time dealing with feelings. Maybe you were afraid I was going to hug you. Or say something mushy”, Adaine says with a good amount of sarcasm, a language she knows Aelwyn is comfortable with.

 Aelwyn snorts and raises her freshly painted nails to blow on them.

 “Fine. I gave you some books. So what?”

 Adaine smiles and pulls her knees up to her chest to hug them.

 “You have surprisingly good taste in books for someone who’s so pretentious most of the time”, Adaine says. She knows that this is the kind of talk that Aelwyn can accept easily.

 “Oh, well, I am ever so thankful for your approval, Adaine. Maybe next time I’ll give you something really pretentious to read, see if you’re able to grasp it.”

 Adaine snorts and shakes her head but she can’t help but smile. Maybe she should give Aelwyn a book back. Maybe she could show Aelwyn the passages she marked. Maybe this can be a language for them, for now, when everything else is too difficult still.

 “I’m looking forward to it.”

[tinyanimelover]

For You, I’d Give Everything

Requested by @georgieb-fandomtrash!

[Gin Ichimaru x Reader]

Sorry if it’s too angsty and not what you wanted T.T

The girl bit her lip to keep her composure as she gently laid the male down, “Gin..” she managed to get out, her voice failing her towards the end. He stared weakly up at her with a faint smile “..Y-..Y/n..”. His crystal blue hues struggled to stay on her as his body begged for rest. “I’m here Gin” she choked out, tears spilling as she held her hands over his body “I’m gonna heal you up well, okay? Don’t worry, I’ll...you’ll be okay..please stay with me, just stay..awake!”. Her hands emitted a light green glow as she began to heal what she could, but they both knew normal healing kido wasn’t going to save him. “It’s gonna be okay..” she let out with a weak and soft voice as she wanted to sob out, she wanted to go fight Aizen for doing this to the man she loved, she wanted to be stronger! But..she was just a kido healer formerly from squad four with no special fighting abilities. She was useless to Gin unless it required healing someone. “Gin..” she cried out, “..it’s not working...I can’t.....what do I do?...”. “S’,,fine...Y/n..” he choked out as her tears soaked his clothes “S’fine..”. “...dammit...you never..you never gave me the chance to be truthful to you, Gin...you never let me tell you my secret..” she sobbed lightly. She put her all into the kido “Just let me tell you what Ive wanted to for years! Then, go and comfort Rangiku! Because she’ll be a broken mess if you die here!”. His gaze softened a bit, knowing what she was going to say “Y/n--”. “Quiet” she ordered “Save your strength. Just listen..”. And so he complied, owing her so much more than she would ever know. “...when I first met you, you called me a deer in headlights and said I fit perfectly in with squad four” she found herself smiling at the memory, “Do you remember the night you asked me why I wanted to help Aizen?”.

“Why would you think Aizen-taichou would want someone like you?” Gin smirked slyly as he circled the girl who foolishly ran after him in the middle of the night, begging to be allowed to go with them when the time came. She glared lightly up at him as he paused in front of her “Because I was smart enough to know that that you guys were planning something”. “And what’s stopping us from just killing you? We could do that and no one would ever know~” he teased lightly. “Because I’m a highly skilled hado user!” she stammered out “And I can be of use!”. “Hmm, that’s quite an argument you’re making” he let out as he backed up a bit from her “But I’m curious: why would you want to help Aizen-taichou and not sell him out?”. “..I-I...” she grew flustered as she looked away “I just want to help..that’s all I’ll say”. He eyed her for a few moments afterwards, unsure what to do with her. It was true she was gifted in the hado field and perhaps she would be of great use to them, but she lacked the heart. She was too kind, helping and naive. So why would she want to help them?

“I joined because I wanted to stand at your side” she said with a sorrow filled smile ‘Because I’ve loved you ever since you spoke to me in the academy when no one else would. I was so happy I made a friend, even Rangiku who was popular became my friend..and I couldn’t live with the possibility that I would never see you again unless it was on the battle field. So I joined Aizen for my own selfish reasons...watched so many people get hurt, healed so many wounds, cried every night because of the deaths I’d seen..and seeing you made it all better, Gin. It reminded me that if I were to lose you, I’d be lost. Rangiku, your best friend would be devastated...even though I’m not the best fighter, I knew I could help you if you ever needed me with my hado skills..”. She took a deep breath as she could feel his heart rate dropping rapidly as the seconds passed, “I knew I could die at any point...that you could die at any point, so when that moment came, I wanted to be ready. I studied really hard to master this skill..I’d already been branded a traitor to Soul Society I told myself, what would happen if I learned this technique? Nothing...Gin, promise me something?”. She’d noticed by now that his breathing had stopped, eyes half-lidded as his eyes stared blankly up at her. “Promise me you’ll take care of Ragiku” she grinned despite the tears that streamed from her eyes “Use this second chance to make things right, go back to Soul Society, take responsibility..most of all, I want you to be happy..c-can you do that for me?”. She began to recite a incantation, the glow from her hands  formed into some sort of flower “Flower gleam and glow. Let your power shine. Make the clock reverse. Let existence intertwine---”. She knew that Gin wouldn’t have wanted her to do anything else now that he was dead but it seemed like she’d already made peace with what she was about to do. A burst of light surrounded the two as she spoke. She continued with her spell, “Heal what has been hurt. Change the fate's design. Save what has been lost”. As she recalled all the wonderful memories she shared with the man, her smile grew wider and filled with content even as she cried, she smiled through the pain of knowing she’d never be able to speak with Gin again, or laugh with him, or even just sit in silence with him, she smiled through all of that as the life began to be sucked out of her body, “Exchange a life for mine..Gisei hado..”. The petals of the flowers had dispersed, meaning the spell had worked and she could rest peacefully. “I love you Gin” she spoke weakly as she fell onto his body, eyes struggling to stay open “...I used..a forbidden technique..but..at least....I’ll get to see you live once more...I’ll always watch over you Gin...so please don’t hate me when..you wake up..”. And she took her last breath.

A few weeks later, Gin of course was charged for his crimes against Soul Society but the fact that he was never really on Aizen’s side was taken into consideration. Having given her life up for Gin, he felt a bit empty now without the female. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he had with her, all the times he should’ve told her how he felt about her, how he wished he’d never brought her along with them, how she tore down his walls and made him fall for her with her dorkiness and how kind she was. He wanted to tell her how brave she was and how much she meant to him, how he wanted to give her this second chance, because without her, he was empty and now he had no way of seeing her again. No way of hearing her again. And that’s what hurt the most. 

[hees-theman]

3 is Just a Number (Chapter IV)

CHAPTER FOUR

Title: 3 is Just a Number

Pairing: Wooyoung x Female!Reader x San

Genre: Romance, BFF to lover, Eventually poly!relationship

Summary: The bond between the three of you is almost unbreakable. Wherever you go, they will follow. Wherever they go, you will join. The moment both of the guys got into a relationship, everything just got better. The three of you are happy with the current moment. That is until one of them decided to follow their own heart – and may or may not break the friendship that you have been holding onto for more than five years.

A/N: This is a bad chapter hh I’m sorry ;; Also, idk if I’m able to survive ateez’s comeback because it’s just asjkdkbdjksjk i almost cried istg

masterlist

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It had been a week since the incident happened. Since then, you have been staying at Yunho’s house. He is nice enough to let you have the bed while he sleeps on the couch.

His kindness made you wonder why San and Wooyoung disapproved of him in the first place.

Ever since the first night you slept in his house, he was always available for you to rant. He also lets you cuddle with him any time you want to. Sometimes, he would place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Just like that, you are slowly falling for him – that was what you wished to happen. But, not everything will turn out the way we want to, right?

Every time you hug Yunho while watching the television, it reminded of you and Wooyoung doing the same thing. When he gave you a peck on your forehead, you suddenly thought of San since it had always been his job to do so.

You know that you cannot deny that you miss your boys. Sure, Yunho can provide you all the warmth and affections you crave, but it’s different than the one you used to get.

You miss the smell of fresh foods on the table, cooked by San. You want to have your usual bantering with Wooyoung every day. You want to witness their childishness whenever they are being clingy with you.

You miss them so much and it hurts you so bad. However, you cannot do anything, simply because you are not ready to face them yet.

-

It is lunchtime, but you do not feel like eating. You were walking aimlessly around your faculty when you came across a big poster plastered against the wall – ‘PERFORMANCE ART DAY’.

Looking at the title, you are reminded of Wooyoung and San for the nth times of the day. All of this occurrence makes you forgot that they will be performing on stage soon.

You walk closer to see the date and time. Tomorrow.

Biting your lower lip, your mind starts to think about your boys. Did San get enough rest? Did Wooyoung eat properly?

It was your duty to always keep them in shape no matter how busy they are.

San tends to overwork himself without him realizing just because he wanted to deliver an amazing performance. Therefore, you had to remind him when to stop.

On Wooyoung’s side, he would practice his routine continuously, which resulted in him forgot to have his meal. Sometimes, you wonder how can a human went on a day without eating a single thing.

Just like that, it became your job to pass by his practice room to give him some food and make sure he finished everything right then and there.

It was a bad choice to look at the poster because your heart is now filled with worry. However, due to your ego, you refuse to check on them.

To get rid of the feelings, you walk away from the place and decides to focus on your class.

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The show day is finally here. Faculty of Performance Arts are busy with people here and there. Aside from the performances, they are also enjoying all the foods available at the booths nearby the entrance.

Everyone is having the time of their life, except for you, who are currently munching potato chips, on the couch, while watching television.

Yunho was about to walk towards the door but his intention got halted by your presence. He let out a sigh and leans against the wall.

“Aren’t you going,” he asked.

You know what he meant. However, you choose to ignore him and go back to your own activity.

“You can’t be like this forever, y/n.”

Once again, you pretend as if you heard nothing coming out from Yunho’s mouth. The man pulls himself from the wall and stands on his feet, both hands are now in his pockets.

“I heard that those two aren’t like how they used to be before.”

The barrier that you created earlier instantly crumbled down as soon as the sentence left Yunho’s lips. Although it is not enough to make you face him, it managed to stop you from eating junk food.

“They said that they tend to practice until late at night. Sometimes, they even slept inside the practice room. They also barely eat anything and hardly be seen together nowadays.”

If you decide to put aside your pride for a while, you would have admitted that those lines pierce your heart. They sound so exhausted, unhealthy, and sad.

You swallow down your saliva, trying to regain your composure. “They are just busy with the performance-”

“You know well that’s not the reason,” Yunho cut you off. You take a brief glance at him and you can see the seriousness on his face. His bubbly expression is gone.

He let out another sigh the moment you go back to devour those potato chips in your hand.

“I know that you’re still confused, but they need you. You guys have never been separated for too long before. Y/n, you are their strengths. I’m sure they find happiness whenever they are around you – the same happiness that you gave me.”

Your eyes widen slightly at his words before facing him. Those last bits sound a lot like a confession, and it makes you dumbstruck.

The room was quiet for a few minutes. The only noise that you can hear is the conversation on the television.

With a small smile, he walks towards you to ruffle your hair gently. “As much as you hate to admit it, you miss them a lot, right?”

You bite your inner cheek, refuse to give away to your feelings. An amused smile plastered on Yunho’s face as he watches you fighting with your own inner self.

He let go of your hair and walk towards the door. Before he went out of the house, he delivered a few sentences that leave you speechless.

“One more time. Give them back their happiness one more time, and show me again your smile – the genuine smile.”

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Somehow, you end up queueing up in front of the hall where the dance will be held. As expected, there will be a lot of people wanting to watch the show.

You were about to take out your wallet to buy a ticket. However, the woman in the booth is faster than you. She hands you a ticket with a smile, leaving you confused.

As far as you know, you did not mention the number of tickets you need. Well, you are alone. But, what if you are here with someone else and the person did not know that?

“It’s y/n, right? This is the ticket reserved for you,” she said.

Although you are still clueless, you take the ticket from her and mutter a soft ‘thank you’. You flip the ticket around and you saw a note that instantly makes you smile.

“It’s not much but we hope you will enjoy the show. We love you – WooSan”

You forgot how sweet both of the boys can be towards you.  No wonder everyone love them a lot. They deserve all the love and happiness in the whole world.

Without further ado, you enter the hall and look around for your designated seat, just to find out that it is nearby the stage.

As you sit down, you can see that you are near the stage where you can clearly see the performance. Unconsciously, a soft smile forms on your face.

They even thought about the position, huh, you thought.

A couple of minutes have passed and the show finally starts. The light slowly dims itself and you can hear the music starts to play.

You watch as one by one enter the stage with their dance routine. The way they move their body matches the rhythm of the music perfectly. It is mesmerizing to watch.

Suddenly, your eyes fell on a familiar figure. One of the person you have been missing. Choi San. He is moving gracefully on the stage as if he is in his own world.

He was making a turn when his gaze fell on you, resulting in his eyes widen and almost fall down on the floor. But, being one of the best dancers, he manages to cover up his mistake.

You were panic for a while, yet you quickly regain your composure once he continues his dance routine.

The performance resumes until it reached the end. Everyone in the hall claps their hands loudly, delighted by the performance.

Not long after that, the next group was called up to take over. That is when you saw the one and only, Jung Wooyoung.

Seeing him reminds you of that time when you asked him the reason he is not in the same team as San’s.

“First, I know I can't keep my hands to myself if he's around. Also, our style is different. He prefers energetic, while I’m more to sensual.” Those were his responses to your question.

The only difference between San’s and Wooyoung’s stage is that he is already looking at your way. San must have informed him about your presence.

His gaze is a mixture of anger and longing, and it pierces your heart.

The music starts and they all start to move according to the beat. Your eyes stuck on Wooyoung as you watch his body flows perfectly to the music. He is a great dancer, just like San.

On stage, he is not the prankster annoying Wooyoung that you know. He is just, Wooyoung.

Without realizing, a tear escaped from your eye. You did not know that watching them grow up while doing what they love can make you feel proud and happy.

Memories of the three of you suddenly came into your mind. All those happy, sad, mad, and crazy moments. You remember everything – and you want to experience it once again with them.

When Wooyoung’s team ended their performance, you had to excuse yourself to the washroom. You turn the tap and wash your face with the water.

If only, if only you are willing to put your ego aside, you would have gone back to them. But, you are not ready to face them. For you, the thing that happened between the three of you is too much.

With an exhausted sigh, you get out of the washroom, just to found two young males leaning against the wall.

Your eyes immediately study their features. Due to the distance between you and the stage earlier, you can barely see the flaws on the boys’ faces.

But now, you can see how swollen their eyes have become. Even though they are wearing makeup, their eye bags are still visible to you. Their lips look dry too. It is obvious that they did not take care of themselves.

“Have you been well?” San’s question breaks the silence between you guys. Likewise, you did not respond verbally, so you just nods your head.

“How was the performance,” the younger male asked. You look at him and force a small smile on your face.

“It was nice. Good job.”

The surrounding become quiet once again until San decided to speak up.

“We miss-“

“Don’t.” You cut him off. You know what he was about to say, but that is the last thing you want to hear coming out from his mouth.

“Why? We can’t miss you now? Is that it?” As always, Wooyoung’s sudden outburst never fail to make you feel irritated.

“You can, if it’s just a friend. But, it’s not just a friend, is it? You can’t love someone else more than that when you both already have each other-“

This time, Wooyoung decided to interrupt you. “Where is the rule that says you can’t have a relationship with more than one person?”

You took your gaze away from Wooyoung as you bite your lower lip. San who has been watching your actions move closer to you.

Just by looking at you, he can sense that you are keeping something inside your heart and mind, and he needs to know about it.

“What exactly are you thinking, y/n?”

Your head hang low. The frown on your face clearly shown that you are still puzzled with everything that had happened.

You play with your fingers as you contemplates if you should or should not let your guard down – and the earlier won.

“I… I don’t want to be labelled as a stealer. Besides, this thing is… rare.”

Wooyoung softens listening to your reasoning. He did not know you would feel that way when San told you about their feelings towards you.

He thought that you are disgusted with the idea. He bite his inner cheek and clenches his fist. He is mad at himself for misunderstanding you.

In contrast, the older one chuckle to himself softly before standing in front of you and pat your head.

“But, don’t you think it’s special because this kind of relationship is rare?”

You puffs out your cheek a bit, but did not give any responds to him.

“Also, you aren’t a stealer. I told you, that we both love you and it’s solely on us. You did nothing wrong, my princess.”

It is understandable when a blush suddenly crept onto your face. No, it’s not peculiar for San use nicknames to call you. But, it is the first time he called you like that ever since that day.

Wooyoung squints his eyes a bit as he witness how shy you suddenly become. To say that he is jealous, well, yeah, he is, a bit.

Even though you tried not to be biased with any of the boys, he still envy San for having it easy. It feels like San knows what you feel and think – And that, annoys him slightly.

Without wasting any chance, he grabs your hand and put it against his face, his eyes lock with yours.

“Just come back home. We miss you. We rarely went back just because you weren’t there.”

You wanted to pull away but instinctively, you begin to caress Wooyoung’s face with your thumb. It is still soft, just like how you remembered.

You were lost in your thought until Wooyoung lean to your hand even more. Quickly, you take your hand away from his face, startling not only him but also San.

“I’m sorry, boys. But, I think I need more time.”

[prompt-master]

Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???

ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people. 

The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got

The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.

This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.

Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world. 

Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope. 

There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester. 

And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.

A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!

There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy. 

And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand. 

AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope. 

Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.

Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?

I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.

So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi

This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM

[burnedbyshoto]

Can we get the same thing dealing with Uraraka and Momo? People hate on them soooo much and I dont see the reason why. Most of the time its just because they interrupt peoples fave ships, and Ive noticed a lot of the hate they get is from other girls. Like. Though a lot of quieter anime girls get a lot of shit from fandoms, mostly from the girls and with the idea of them interrupting whatever ship they like a lot.

I think... dealing with female characters is very hard in terms of shonen manga. especially for us western fans.

as always this is my opinion on how I see and interpret the manga and anime, you’re free to disagree and hate my interpretation!!!!

number one thing you need to know is that I don’t hate a single female character in bnha. i don’t. my least favorite female character is like... I don’t even know, I like them all really. but when it comes to hating on female characters in shonen manga it’s hard for me to find a true stance.

for us westerners I don’t think we’ll ever be satisfied with female empowerment within shonen unless we have more series like sailor moon honestly. to be honest i’m not well versed in anime and manga, I haven’t like watched more than 5 series and all of them have been popular and mainstream things, so they’re all pretty formulaic in the same way.

strongest male main protagonist, not as strong as main protagonist but can kick his ass still male protagonist, and the female protagonist that’s meant to serve as an equal but is sorely unequal to both her counterparts and will grow to be strong but not that strong but strong — can probably beat up the two protagonist in a playful way but never ever in a serious match.

all things considered from what i’ve seen females are plot devices for one arc and one arc only.

westerns — female fans specifically — want our female characters to be as badass as the men, to be able to go toe to toe, to be loud and obnoxious and still be loved, to be crusty and ugly villains and still be loved. from what I gather people just want female characters to be more than just love devices and hold their own weight and not cry.

we also have to take into consideration that bnha is literally designed for young boys — it is a shonen after all — and while it’s by means no excuse for lack of female character building, this series is meant for young boys to see themselves within these characters. and within our cis heteronormative world that does mean letting these young boys see themselves within these male characters. again, not an excuse, but an insight we do need to take into consideration.

now applying this to bnha we have our main female protagonists within uraraka and momo.

I think that they’re pretty well written all things considered. I know they’ll never be like winry or hawkeye in fma and that’s literally the only anime i’ve seen where the female characters were developed in their own field of expertise in strong ways.

uraraka has been made to be the love interest of izuku, there is no denying it, but I don’t think that’s her only character trait. she’s 16 years old going to a school that people dream of getting into, and is best friends with someone she admires. it’s without a doubt that feelings catch on, but izuku isn’t the one driving her to be a hero.

from episode what 5??? of the anime she states that she’s becoming a hero for her family. she’s becoming a hero so she can use her quirk to help her family and to rescue people. uraraka wants to be a rescue hero (and tbh people often forget that that’s what izuku wanted to be too). she learns a few fighting skills because she experienced first hand that her inability to fight is going to cost her big time. so she thinks “what would izuku do” once gets called out about it from aoyama and suddenly no one can shut up about it.

the entire sports festival battle against bakugou she fucking had him, tbh the fact that bakugou was able to clear the entire air of concrete chunks and only get a 5 second arm cramp is ass. bakugou always says quirks have a limit but that’s the only time we’ve seen him near a limit and it wasn’t even that impactful seeing that he was ready to roll again. but uraraka did THAT!!! she pushed bakugou to the point where she has been the first person to ever really put him at the brink. sure bakugou and izuku go at it many times leaving them bloodied and bruised, but never have they been like: “OMG MY QUIRK IS GONNA BE INEFFECTIVE NOW”

uraraka takes her initiative to do things, and hell if it really bugs you that she’s getting stronger because she wants to be like izuku idk what to tell you. she’s becoming a hero to help her family, and her getting a little side piece along the way isn’t a big deal to me as long as she doesn’t throw her entire life away to save izuku (which she hasn’t). uraraka is a self sufficient queen, she’s dirt poor and is thriving. she’s 16 years old with a crush, that’s not a big deal in my eyes.

now momo is ehhh idk how to explain it. okay, so like, I love momo. but I don’t see her becoming a fighting hero and that’s okay!!!! why do we have to have girls being able to one hit KO other heroes when it’s been made perfectly clear that not all heroes are alleyway boxers. momo is fucking smart, with the ability to create whatever the fuck she wants, sure she can pull gun after gun from her chest and mow down any villain who comes her way — but that’s not who she is. momo is a leader through and through. she is a take none give none, and battling isn’t her expertise but she’s still good at it. momo has scored first in every single UA exam validating her intelligence every time.

if momo becomes a hero similar to todobakudeku, which I severally wish she won’t because that’s not her, I know she’s not going to be the best. her quirk makes her have to be sneaky, smart, and faster thinking than anyone else on the field. I mean look at her fight with tokoyami, her inability to think fast cost her the match really.

to be honest I don’t know much hate on the girls because it’s so stupidly irrelevant to me that I just go “scroll!!!!!”

I do think costumes need to be redone, but like can we also remember that heroes are also superstars in a hero society so looking hot af for popularity is needed. these girls were also 15 years old when they decided on their costumes and idk about you but I would’ve picked a costume that made me look hot as hell!!!! if i’m going to be fighting for living, people best know that I am hot as fuck!!!! besides, these costumes weren’t meant to be fought in outside of training!!!! they should see how their costumes work, how to improve them!!! they have 3 years and even more changes outside of UA to make them the best!!!! uraraka didn’t want her suit to be skin tight, but because the support company took into mind appearance it became tight. momo doesn’t want her costume to be regularly destroyed through her quirk, so she wanted to basically be naked because she thought there was no way to save her clothes!!! I hope hori gives her the ability to make her costume from her hair like mirio did so that way it can phase through her outfit without tearing it into smithereens.

but we also have to remember that female characters don’t have to be like male characters. would I love a female character to be able to best all might, shiggy, todobakudeku??? yeah, what female wouldnt??? but then we’d all have problems with her not being realistic enough and yadda yadda yadda. females not being the best is okay in my eyes as long as they get the proper growth and attention.

undeniably momo and uraraka have been on the back burner but with how the manga is going there hasn’t really been time for them to be on the front, but maybe it’s coming??? idk. I just want another stupid school arc but noooooooooo people hate it when the kids are being kids!!!! why do you want them to suffer all the damn time jfc 😫😫😫

if you want girls to be as strong as the boys I say look at girls like ryuuku neijire mina and miruko, i’m positive these ladies will be your saving grace once japan figures out that mina is amazing and that it’s okay for girls to be on the front lines kicking ass too

[imagineclaireandjamie]

I NEED MORE HRH 😩 and Loss, obviously

Part I: The Crown Equerry | Part II: An Accidental Queen | Part III: Just Claire | Part IV: Foal | Part V: A Deal | Part VI: Vibrations | Part VII: Magnolias| Part VIII: Schoolmates | Part IX: A Queen’s Speech | Part X: Rare | Part XI: Watched | Part XII: A Day’s Anticipation | Part XIII: The Location | Part XV: Motorcycle | Part XV: Cabin | Part XVI: Market | Part XVII: Stables | Part XVIII: Alarms | Part XIX: Visitor | Part XX: Cuffed

Her Royal Highness (H.R.H.)Part XXI: A Woman’s Speech

Claire woke from a dream within a dream.

In the first, she was suspended in a dreamless trance against Fraser’s chest. It was warm. Too warm for Scotland. Perhaps there had been some noise (a crash or faraway disturbance) that roused them both at the same time. Silently, Claire traced a single gray hair in a sea of unruly auburn lightly breaking against the centerline shore of his chest. Cool air filtering through the window lifted curtains she had never seen before. Perhaps it was a honeymoon – a gauzy, bikini-clad getaway ensconced in the carefully-controlled bubble of one of the British Protectorates. The Maldives maybe? She had seen a postcard once (pressed into the pages of a scrapbook maintained by her sister, a memory of a beautiful holiday to trot out to make a younger royal grow emerald with jealousy), but she had never made it there before.

She curled closer to him, felt the burr of speech rumbling in his chest like an oncoming storm, realized she couldn’t hear him. Jerking up, she pressed a hand to the center of his chest, felt her facial features contort. His mouth was moving, curled into a lazy, slow smile. His hand was on her naked hip, urging her closer, but she had the sensation that she was being pulled backwards. It was as though she was being tugged by a lead threaded into her spine.

Then it was pitch black (like blindness itself, an endless blank slate of darkness upon darkness forever and ever).

In the second dream, Fraser was stripped bare to the waist and in a courtroom. Scars criss-crossed his back like the map of a chaotic, unplanned city center. Lined, bloody wrists were secured in fetters and chained behind his back. Scar tissue (his past) and fresh wounds (their future). Claire shouted for him (for her Fraser, for him to pay attention god dammit, that she would fix this), voice raw. He turned, calling to her and shaking his head. His mouth was frantic, needy. There was no trace of a smile. She tried to move, but she was bound to the spot (hip-deep in cement, locked in place). The courtroom lengthened, the lights dimmed. It was a corridor then, and he was getting further and further from her.

“Stop!” she attempted to scream, but no sound emerged. She scraped at the cement until her fingertips were bloodied; she touched her mouth. Only the narrowest indentation remained where her lips (appendages designed to kiss him, taste him, tell him the darkest parts of herself and hope she had for a future drenched in light with him) had been sealed together.

“Claire!” he bellowed, the single syllable bellowing from the deepest part of his belly.

Her fingers clawed at the indentation, her toes curling uselessly inside shoes entombed in cement.

He continued, “I’m doing this for you.”

She tried to call out, shook her head furiously, and refused to blink. She couldn’t bear the thought of tears falling as her lipless mouth screamed, “No. No. No.”

She woke, gasping and kicking through layers and layers of covers until her legs were free of the obstruction. The soles of her feet found solid ground.

Edinburgh. She was still in Edinburgh.

Her nightgown clung to the sweaty parts of her (lower back, breasts, armpits, lower stomach, thighs), made her feel like a thousand colonies of insects had taken residence under her flesh.

She launched herself from the mattress, tearing at her nightgown, ripping it off and over her head, leaving it in a puddle on the rug.

“Fraser,” she whispered, taking her robe from its resting place over the settee next to the window. “You bloody stubborn Scottish martyr.”

It had been nine hours since she had left him in that jail. Nine hours since he had declared himself a martyr, announced that he would take the fall without seeking her input. Nine hours from the moment she turned her back on him, left him alone with his mouth full of lies and his daft self-sacrificing nature.

It had been six hours since she had made clear her intentions to her staff. Three hours since she gathered three of her most trusted advisors and explained what she would do to head him off at the pass, to put an end to this (the media spectacle threatened by her ring, the hushed speculations about how it got there and why). She knew that her plan would start something else entirely (a cannibalistic feeding frenzy for information, which she would publicly respond to with a regal dismissiveness appropriate to her position), but she did not know what else to do.

And perhaps, most importantly, she had ceased to care.

She swallowed hard and went to the window. Crossing her arms across her waist, she squinted down at the stables (they were dark, lifeless, her stock transported to Balmoral ahead of her). Quietly, she shook her head and let her fingertips sink into her hips, an attempt to replicate Fraser’s touch. Her efforts failed miserably.

Then she said it aloud – the thought that had dwelled unspoken in her mind since she’d left him, since he’d vowed to take the fall for them both. “I hate you right now.”

She heard footsteps outside her door and turned, watched shadow interrupt the creamy sliver of dim light beneath the door.

“Come in,” she called, turning her attention back towards the stables before the corridor’s lurker could enter.

Mrs. Fitz.

Claire could tell. She knew the cadence of the woman’s step (the soft shuffle, the clank of a tea service on a tray), the gentle way she closed the door and flipped the lock into place.

Swallowing back the bitter taste of a fitful sleep in her mouth, she summoned the question that had roused her, replaced a dream within a dream. “Is Fraser still in the jail?”

“Aye, ma’am,” Mrs. Fitz confirmed quietly.

Without meaning to move from her vantage point at the window, Claire felt herself being pulled as if by gravity itself towards the table where Mrs. Fitz was pouring two cups of what smelled like perfectly-steeped Earl Grey.

How properly English, Claire mused. Fix it with tea.

Claire would have given anything for a taste of the cabin (jewels that were not hers to give, a title that only felt precious when she thought of giving it away). To have the gritty, smoky flavor of Fraser’s too-strong coffee in lieu of her usual morning tea (the concentration in his brow as he poured hers, dropped a single sugar cube into its depths, stirred it into a sparkling whirl before handing it to her with the smallest of smiles, a hand on a bare hip). To taste tinned peaches (to pluck the wiggling, gelatinous, too-sweet preserved stone fruit from the tines of a fork held by Jamie; to squeal as the juice dribbled onto a sheet wrapped around her breast; to let her noises magnify as she feigned a fight against his efforts to take the sheet from her.) To bite into a crumbly icebox biscuit (his fingers dusting the flakes of icing from her lower lip, kissing them from his finger, promising to teach her how to drive his motorcycle) or stovetop-charred sausages (his laugh as he promised her with sparkling, fibbing eyes that he actually preferred them cooked to charred, unrecognizable logs). To lick yogurt from the side of her thumb beneath the sheets (the warmth of their joining evaporating with the leisurely lack of urgency that seemed to define all things on a cool Scottish summer morning, and their tongues meeting to mingle clover honey and berries).

She blinked hard, turned, and offered what she could of a smile.

“How much longer?”

“The broadcast will be at 8 o’clock. Fraser will be escorted from the jail to his sister’s home three hours earlier… they are probably waking him right now.”

Claire nodded, her mind suddenly fixated on the sound of his name from her lips.

Fraser.

It was just a last name to Mrs. Fitz. To her it was something more, intimate syllables that tumbled from her mouth to represent someone to her that had defined love and sacrifice and lust and passion and hate (just a little). She focused her attention outside, feeling her cheeks redden at the thought of him believing he was doing her a favor by declaring himself a common thief.

She dried her palms on her robe, inhaled, let loose a cosmic question to which she did not have an answer. “Do you think that he will hate me for this?”

The cadence of Mrs. Fitz’s familiar plunk-shuffle-plunk step neared, and Claire closed her eyes as the woman’s hand closed around her shoulder. “I ken the man loves ye. I ken that solely from the look in his eyes when I slipped him a wee note, the way his shoulders squared when ye had to postpone a visit or two. The way a lad becomes a man, he looks when he’s longing for someone, not out of lust, ye ken. It’s no’ his cock–”

“Mrs. Fitz,” Claire gasped, tears burning along her lower lash line as she chuckled.

“Ye ken just fine that ye’re no’ some innocent doe-eyed girl. Ye’re a woman, and he loves ye. You’re ban-druidh. Ye conjure things for him, ye ken? He’s given himself over to ye, to yer spell, ma’am, just the way of ye enchants him. So no, he’s no’ thinkin’ wi’ the parts that make him a man, but from spiritual need.”

A dribble of tears tickled Claire’s chin and throat. She uselessly attempted to mop at them with the back of her hand.

“And what he needs now is for you to be strong. Stronger than he is.”

Claire nodded, her chin tilting up as she snuffled back a second round of tears.

“Strong enough to show him that he doesna need to take a fall for ye, that ye’re the bloody Queen. That ye’ll do this for that rare love that ye kent ye needed, that led ye into his arms in the first place. Now, wipe yer face and find yer smartest dress, and give the speech of yer life, ma’am.”

Claire intended to do just that.

[comicteaparty]

June 10th-June 16th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from June 10th, 2020 to June 16th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following  question:

How does poor web design affect if and/or how you read a particular webcomic?

carcarchu

it's a huge factor. if a comic is amazing in every way but the website or app makes it difficult for me to read i'm simply NOT going to read it. there are a lot of great series that i've put on the back burner just because the website is so annoying to navigate

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've honestly never run into a website so bad it stopped me from reading a comic i was interested in

carcarchu

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

Deo101 [Millennium]

The worst things with sites that I see often are 1: huge headers, and 2: laggy sites (not really site design, but its adjacent I think) Another is if the pages are too big on the screen, so you can't, for instance, see some panels all at once. Those kinds of things can really ruin a reading experience for me

carcarchu

One example of a website that is hostile to the reading experience is ZMYK which for some reason hosts vertical scroll comics but cuts them up into little pieces as if they were comic format so you can't actually scroll through the entire chapter as it was intended to

That kind of thing grinds my gears so much how can something you have to pay for be that incredibly bad

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've also seen some sites that have graphic design issues, where elements are illegible due to their color, and some have very busy and distracting backgrounds. Those kinds of things won't necessarily ruin it, but they're distracting

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

forward comic's website was doing this weird thing where the further I read the longer pages took to load. Near the end it seemed they were taking 10 full seconds. Still read the whole thing though. Reading manga on shady sites with terrible internet connection as a kid has desensitized me

Oh one comic I was interested in but didn't read because of the site: I was kidnapped by lesbian pirates from outer space. It doesn't have a website. To read it you have to pirate (hehe) copies of the archive.

It's a pretty sad story- the author was young and tricked into giving up the rights to her series

She ended up taking the site down to prevent the company from getting any more money off of it

https://rosalarian.tumblr.com/post/65353128180/its-with-extreme-sadness-that-i-announce-that-my

Here's her post about it

I think it can be a good warning message to us

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For me, the biggest thing that deters me from reading a comic is if the website isn't well optimized for mobile (as someone who reads a lot on the go). This includes the images loading bigger than the page, or navigation being hidden on mobile, or glitchy scrolling, or any number of ungodly things. Also, too many ads. That'll turn me away in a heartbeat.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah ads are definitely a huge turnoff for me too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

@carcarchu okay i just digested this comment and wtf

no search bar is laughably bad omg

how did you even find out about it

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ridiculous hahahaha

carcarchu

it's a shame because there are genuinely good comics on there you can't read anywhere else?? and i found it because an artist i adore did a series for it but it got AXED after only 2 chapters and after that was pretty much scrubbed from the internet. i think it's a shame because it really had so much potential and it ended before the story was really able to start

it's a screenshot from the app. you can see that it is categorized reverse chronologically by week

the point of aqua kiss is to emulate monthly/weekly style manga magazines but in app form. however i think the execution of this idea was horrendous

SteffieMusings

Oh no! It must make reading there so challenging. As for me, if the navigation is so hard to understand/pages don't load properly when you click a link or when the website's colours hurt my eyes so much I can't stay there for too long.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Honestly nowadays most of the CMS's out there share the same basic functionality and adaptability, so it's getting harder to screw up on that. Most sites are OK, if only a bit laggy. If the site takes less than 2 seconds to load and it's not so crowded that I have to look for the comic, I'm generally good.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

How much bad/inaccessible web design I'll tolerate is directly proportional to how much I care about the comic.

I've dropped a couple series in the middle of the archive just because they changed the site design to screw up the tracking of bookmarking sites, so I would've had to figure out an alternate way to keep track of it, and it didn't seem worth the effort

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh yeah, I've totally had that happen too where I was deep into an archive, had taken a reading break for a month or two, and came back to find the urls had been updated and my spot was lost it isn't so bad if a comic also has an archive page, but ive stopped reading a few stories that it would have been too hard to track down where I was.

DaeofthePast

I haven’t had to experience weird websites in a while, but I do sometimes go to an unknown website to read the comic/manga I’m looking for. Mostly what I’ve had trouble with is unnumbered chapters, of that it’s unclear where/how to start reading in general.(edited)

Like, I get to the page for that specific comic and then there’s no easy “start reading here” button anywhere

And when I do find the chapters list, I don’t know which end of the list is the beginning bc it’s unnumbered

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Is a "First page" button enough or are you looking for a "new readers start here" button? (<- is redisigning her page)

DaeofthePast

Is there a difference? :0

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

hm, sometimes yes.

Some old running comics have different jump-on points (schlock mercenary for example).

DaeofthePast

Ooh I see

Well when I first go on the site, I just want to start reading so idk

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

So, I always try to read every comic that's featured in the book club all the way through. Like even if I don't particularly like the opening, or if the comic is thousands of pages long, or I don't have time to meaningfully discuss the comic, I do try to at least give the comic a fair shake by reading through the entire archive. There have been four exceptions. One was because of content (it was a gag a day comic, and the content was SO horrible for SO long that I just couldn't stand it anymore. real "punching down" type of humor). Another was because the comic was literally deleted before I could get to it. The remaining two were because the site design/organization were so awful that the comics were unreadable. One of the two comics had a custom built, hand-coded site (I assume), and it just... didn't work properly. Like the "previous" button seemingly took you to a random page, the "next" button and the "latest" button led to the same place, etc. I'm not sure the creator ever bothered to test the site. The other one used some pre-built stuff, so it was ok... but you had to scroll to the top of the page to go to the next page. Not only that, but the author was posting all their comics to the same archive - which means one page would be the comic that was actually meant to be read for the book club and the next few pages were a completely different comic entirely. And this wasn't a gag-a-day either - it was a story based comic, so the three action minimum to get to the next page made things absolute hell to keep track of.(edited)

DaeofthePast

Wow

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Uff, yeah, that sounds horrible.

Nyx+Nyssa's page is currently a barebone mess, but I made at least sure the navigation works. :/

DaeofthePast

Having the comic be deleted while you’re reading it sounds like such a weird experience lmao

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i mean, it wasn't thanos snap style lol

DaeofthePast

Was the website gone too or?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

it was in between days

nah the website was still there, it's just that the author had decided to reboot their comic and forgot that they had submitted it to the book club

DaeofthePast

Oh okay I imagined Thanos snap style

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Not really a design but a site thing: I can't do comics without an archive of some sort. On platforms like Tapas or WT, the episode list serves that purpose perfectly fine. I personally need to be able to see how many pages there are, and I need a way to go to specific pages easily. It might sound like a small complaint, but it's a big thing for me! There have been comics that piqued my interest, but once I saw that there was no archive of any form, I left forever. Sure, I might be missing out, but there are also lots of good comics out there that have accessible archives. My life isn't long enough to read them all, so I'm letting myself be very picky.

copperine

I can manage a very basic site just fine. But if a site is hard to navigate, or just makes reading the page/getting to the next page difficult - I'd be likely to give up eventually. Doesn't matter about the quality of the comic, but if it's a chore to just read it, it's going to put me off after a while

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I will note - if you want me to actually discuss your comic in the book club, please do have an archive link, and probably a cast page too. Like the lack of one doesn't stop me from reading entirely, but I can't discuss anything without being able to look back at specific moments. (and one of those archives that just has dates doesn't count - lemme know what the chapter is!)

copperine

For example - when I read webcomics on dA, I was absolutely fine with either the author having a dedicated folder with the pages in order. Another option was to link next and prev pages in the description. But if I had to go find each next page, I just wouldn't.

DaeofthePast

By an archive do you mean kinda like a chapters list?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

A list of all the pages, ideally

That also list the chapters somehow

copperine

Short version: if I feel like I'm spending half as much time navigating the site as I am actually reading, it's gonna get old real quick

DaeofthePast

And same copperine. As long as it’s organized well, I will probably read it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like maybe you click on a chapter link to get to a list of the pages, or maybe it's just a list of the pages with the chapter names as headers

some sort of organization

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! (I admit my own comic's archive page isn't the prettiest, but it's 100% functional.)

DaeofthePast

I only have a chapter list so far ^^; idk how to go about getting an archive

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Chapter list is totally fine if your chapters tend to be on the shorter side

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I like having chapter lists around, although coding them can be a handful Not sure if to go for an archive with thumbnails or just with page numbers though.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It's also workable if you also have like... a dropdown menu for individual pages on the actual pages? So it only takes 2 clicks to go to a specific page (first click to go to the chapter, second click to go to the page)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

OH yeah, there was also a dA comic in the book club once that didn't have any next/previous buttons. However, it was a short comic - the bare minimum for getting into the book club - so I still read it all the way through. But it was pretty annoying to do so. (it was also pretty obviously a fetish comic, but that's not really relevant to the discussion XD)

DaeofthePast

I want to post by scene so I’ll be dividing chapters like “chapter 3 part 1” to hopefully that will be better

copperine

I'll always take functional over pretty

DaeofthePast

Haha I’m not sure if I want to know the comic for that one

Also what is “punching down” humor?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, the author was a straight man, and nearly every joke was making fun of people who weren't those things.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's like making fun of people but

copperine

Yikes

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

you're intentially trying to put them down

that's punching down in my imo rip

DaeofthePast

Oh

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah....

DaeofthePast

Well at least I know what to call it when I see it in the future ._.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, occasionally I see a shitty joke in a comic and I keep reading because maybe the author improved (we do sometimes get comics with archives that date back decades in here) But this comic was just so consistently awful for so long that I couldn't stand it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oof that aint good

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Though that's kinda off topic lol

DaeofthePast

Oh yeah

So bad site design...

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Anyway, I don't really wanna post the examples of the comics I talked about in here cuz I don't wanna call anyone out

Actually, hold on, lemme check something

DaeofthePast

I feel I haven’t had too much experience with bad site designs, but I might have just forgotten(edited)

K

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

ok yeah

so, the comic where you had to scroll up to the top of each page to click to the next one, and the site was multiple comics alternating pages that made the story rough to follow

copperine

Oof yeah having to scroll up to click next won't stop me but it is a bother

DaeofthePast

I like having the next button both on top and the bottom, even if they update page by page(edited)

It just feels convinient

copperine

Yeah same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Re: punching up/down, here's an overly simplistic set of examples: billionaires making fun of poor people is punching down. Poor people making fun of billionaires is punching up.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

's good webdesign pattern for everything with continous content - e.g. blogs, web-novels, webcomics.

Ideally you have one on top, between content and comments and under comments

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

the comic that alternated storylines & required scrolling back up to go to the next page was Antibunny: http://vinnied.comicgenesis.com/d/20061002.html if you see that page I linked and click next a few times, there's no obvious distinction between the main story and the spinoff story (no, like, header change between the two, and the art style looks similar), so you can see how it'd be confusing to follow and the scrolling is just icing on the cake (it used to be even worse) the only reason I feel comfortable sharing that is because the author uploaded the comics to new sites, and fixed all those issues in the process: http://antibunny.net/

DaeofthePast

Oh nice. So they realized the problem

copperine

Aren't they in this server? Or am I thinking of another one

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah, the author is in this server

copperine

I thought so

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Hence why he realized, because we told him that there was a problem during the book club

copperine

I'm not gonna take anything said here as a comment on anyway btw

DaeofthePast

It’s cool that submitting their comic to the tea party resulted in some good feedback :3

copperine

You love to see it!

It always makes me happy when webcomic community stuff helps people out, that seems like the ideal outcome

DaeofthePast

Yess

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i agree on that yeee

DaeofthePast

It’s like having a friend point out a spelling mistake. Embarrassing but you can live with the knowledge that your work is now a little bit better(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah kinda off-topic, but I love it when the author of the comic for the book club joins the server. Like not only does it mean that the author could join in on others' discussions in the future (pay it forward 'n stuff), but... it's just really sad when I see a comic pop up in the book club and the author seemingly forgot they submitted it.

DaeofthePast

How long does it usually take to get to a comic? :0 that they would forget they submitted it?

copperine

I always hope I can help others out or support them, and I hope they feel the same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The book club had a very very long wait list in the past. These days, not so long.

DaeofthePast

And I guess if you submit a comic with a website, the people here can be your beta testers

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

what's odd is that five months ago, the wait list was six months but now, the wait list is two months y'all need to submit/resubmit your comics

DaeofthePast

I tried going to submit mine yesterday and the site doesn’t let me v.v says you’re booked for July

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

oh yeah, so it is

DaeofthePast

Maybe later :3

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i guess Rebel doesn't want the queue to get too long

copperine

I would submit mine but I'm only at 10 pages and I believe you need to have 20 to submit

DaeofthePast

Ooh they have a minimum?

Gotta count my pages now

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean it makes sense. Hard to discuss a comic that only has the cover for chapter 1

DaeofthePast

XD

Tru

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Let us dissect this cover image for an entire week"

DaeofthePast

It would be a hilarious April fools challenge

copperine

Idk I think it was 20 minimum?

DaeofthePast

shrug

copperine

@snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) can you shed any light on this

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The sign up form is where you would normally find that information.

copperine

... very good point

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

But the form is currently unavailable, and it's possible that Rebel might change the requirement when it becomes available again

copperine

Ah

Thank you for the heads up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

FYI, https://comicteaparty.com/ is where the form will be available eventually

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

They accept resubmissions now?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I def like arrows on the top and bottom of pages for sites to be more of a thing, as well as clicking the image for the next page too! Honestly there hasn't been a make or break, mainly preferences, and the most complaints i have are with the mobile formatting. I think most comics have been pretty solid in functionality that i've read, and it's clear that having their own website is becoming mainstream enough for there to be help, tips, and tricks to making it work!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I definitely prefer if I can just click on the comic image to go to the next page especially for mobile.

copperine

Agreed!

Idk about resubmissions tho

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... Wow. I absolutely HATE clickable images on mobile, because they usually mess with the pinch-zoom.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i've had sites that didnt have image click throughs and the arrow..... was like SO TINY XD

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Didn't think anyone would actually like it, so... huh.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i kept going back and forth

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

yeah, navigation needs to be bigger on mobile for safe tapping.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh, re:resubmissions, I'm pretty sure you can if it's been long enough? I think @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) mentioned it recently as an option. But maybe a tangent for #general

boogeymadam

i dont mind the pinch zoom being a little more difficult from time to time cause usually the clickable image is worth it to me

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Same

boogeymadam

am also fond of sites that allow left/right arrows to let you move forward and back on desktop

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Mainly it's just for like Krispy said, reading on mobile and tiny next/previous buttons.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ye my dummy thicc fingers prefer the click through image for sure

ohh yes Boogey that too

boogeymadam

it took me hours of googling to find the very simple comicpress option to just turn that on on my site

copperine

Mmm I do like sites that allow pinch zoom though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I also prefer clicking on the image to go to the next page

mariah (rainy day dreams)

My fingers small, but still dummy T-T

copperine

It makes it easier to get a better look at the page

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

iweudhweiu Mariah XD

copperine

Especially if it's got smaller font

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

nyxandnyssa has a seperate navigation for mobile that's much bigger and skipping scene select to make tapping easier.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've had the hover text def bum me out for some comics, where you click the image and it just displays the text, then you gotta click the tiny next bar def killed me there

copperine

I've never had issues with pinch zoom affecting clickable images but I can imagine it would be annoying

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

but! never breaks me out of a comic for me to stop reading-! i persevere in the face of adversity XD

boogeymadam

i've never encountered a site so bad i couldnt continue reading. maybe stuff where i'd stop reading until i was less frustrated but i'd come back later.

DaeofthePast

That’s something I’ll have to consider for my site then

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I feel like Smackjeeves had a really obnoxious auto pitch & zoom before they updated most recently. I like when I can turn it off on my phone. I'd rather do it myself most of the time and let my phone try to auto it X')

DaeofthePast

I usually read on desktop more often than on mobile so it’s good to hear from other’s experiences

copperine

Idk I've never used a custom site yet

boogeymadam

same dae, except on tapas and webtoons!(edited)

comics with their own website i'll boot up my computer for a single update of

DaeofthePast

Even on webtoons I read on desktop

boogeymadam

omg your power, webtoons feels so choppy on desktop to me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

im definitely lucky that our site got a mobile friendly version i remember the 'ol pinchy zoomz was tiresome on our site for sure

DaeofthePast

I get headaches from reading on my phone unfortunately :/

Idk what the difference is between reading mobile and on a desktop but my brain doesn’t like it

Like, I can text fine???? But reading a comic for some reason is like “no”

So yeah, comics on desktop for me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohh!! it could be the close proximity!

DaeofthePast

Ooh :0 maybe?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i know i get motion sickness depending on how close/ far i am from screens

DaeofthePast

Maybe it’s something like that... :O

boogeymadam

whatever the reason sorry you get headaches and motion sickness from comics :'0

DaeofthePast

Every once in a while I’ll try again to read on mobile I never learn

boogeymadam

the only reason i dont like mobile is sometimes comics text is a combination of too small there and the font is hard on my dyslexia

DaeofthePast

Rip

boogeymadam

so i see if zooming in on my computer helps

DaeofthePast

The lesson here is that it’s good to have both mobile and desktop options

boogeymadam

yep :'D

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh yea def agree. I know that feeling and i sometimes ... have a Time reading my own work XD (i admit it lol!!)

boogeymadam

sometimes my own comic is hard on my dyslexia for The Effect so i never have hard feelings with other comics

copperine

(brb)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ewiudhiwue the things we do AT WHAT COST XD

DaeofthePast

Asdfghjkl

Meanwhile I use the same font for everything

boogeymadam

wait im gonna generalize this more so it can be a party

DaeofthePast

Please post that on pillowfort so I can reblog it

boogeymadam

you can post it for yourself if you want dae!

i'm having a hard time logging on asdfgjh

DaeofthePast

Rip sure

copperine

Ah see I have both

Because hand lettering

It's great for feeling right for a comic but also eternally wondering if it's readable

DaeofthePast

Ooh yeah I guess that would count as both

What’s your comic btw :0

Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about website design right

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yep! If it gets too off topic, you can always continue in another channel that's more fitting.

copperine

Ah sorry! Sure thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mobile is too small for me

DaeofthePast

Yeah

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

(oHHMYYGOSH BOOGEY XD)

boogeymadam

mm archives were mentioned already, and how it can really turn readers away to simply not have one at all? my favorite archive is https://www.vaingloriouscomic.com/comic/archive 's but i've seen some where they attempted an all picture archive and it backfired by just being a page of all empty boxes. this didn't deter me from reading it and it got fixed pretty quick tho~ mine is one of these and its a very chonky slowmoving page cause i uploaded the first 90ish as fullsized pictures. nobody's ever complained so idk if it's ever deterred anyone from reading but i know i gotta fix it someday.(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I really dont mind any kind of web design in particular though tbh. I prefer desktop sites but it’s fine if the design isnt great

DaeofthePast

Have you guys ever gone to a comic website (for a single comic) and the colors used in the background were so bright that it felt like they were blinding you to the point it was hard to read the actual pages?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My archive is down right now becayse it broke and I dont know how to fix it lol

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i def want a fully view-able archive but we're gonna be hitting 800 pages and i dont know how well that will work XD

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

But I have a navigation bar now

boogeymadam

u could have multiple pages of archive, krispy!

i'm starting a new page for chapter 2

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or dropdown menus

boogeymadam

but its probably important to have a dropdown if u have more than 1 page, yeah

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I want to switch to picture archives, but I haven't found a good plug in/way to get my word press to do it :( if anyone has recommendations...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I knew how to make dropdown menus

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i'll have to bring that up ! we dont do the tech work for our site ( thank gosh seriously) but i love archives that show full pages

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If I could make dropdown menus I would be unstoppable

copperine

I miss the drop-downs on SJ

boogeymadam

i feel like dropdowns are smth i pretty much only exclusively see on hiveworks comics

i wonder what their secret is,,,

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’ve inspected the elements on so many hiveworks sites lol

I want to know

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

they use word press I think

for their comic sites

just have to do some digging with the site html and csss

copperine

Right click and inspect maybe...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Php stands for my Personal hell pit

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

if i could go undercover for yall i would XD

boogeymadam

also!! @mariah (rainy day dreams) i use elementor for mine

its not perfect and breaks like every time i update it but it works asdfg

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... I'm currently writing a sparkling fresh wp-plugin for my page (comic easel wasn't doing what I wanted), but I am also a software dev who enjoys coding.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My template I use functions in mostly php and xml and its gibberish to me but functions so well I dont know how to improve it to have specific things I want

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my knowledge with site design is basic at best lmao

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

wordpress is a bit special in that it does most things more complicated than strictly necessary.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but I do like fiddling with stuff

^that too lmao

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I know Shiza of osarilho is really good at web designing? she's made some beautiful work with her site!

boogeymadam

i want to ask shiza for more help but not before i have some money to pay her :')

she's helped me a lot already

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can do html and css at the babiest level

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'll check that out Boogey, thanks! Even if it does break X') And I guess I'll just make a note to start stashing money to hire shiza XD im definitely at the point where my site needs a general face lift, but I don't have the spoons for it.

boogeymadam

imo i've made some really pretty pges with it. it's a drag and drop that's excellent at galleries, but it doesn't like when you don't have even rows for some reason

the wordpress plugin, Elementor, i mean.

copperine

I've been wanting to try comicpress for ages

I just don't know where to start

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm gonna move over to #shop_talk for my response

copperine

I had someone who was gonna help me out but we lost contact so it's on the back burner

boogeymadam

OOPS yeah

copperine

But for websites in general I prefer to have one that feels very basic than one that feels too busy or crowded

I'm not a graphic designer at all lol

If I do try an independent site I'm planning to pay a coding friend to help me

DaeofthePast

yeah i have no idea what I'm doing when working on my site, it's kinda basic, but at least it looks nice

copperine

I just use a premade theme on my ComicFury site

It works and that's good enough for me so far

Oh I guess the other thing that would put me off reading a comic is if the site isn't formatted for mobile, and/or particularly if the site doesn't have adaptive formatting

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same, but editted it hard core so it looks like it's own thing lmao

copperine

I usually read on my phone because my computer is where I work so I like to get off it for hobbies

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but for me uh i guess mobile i try to read it either on tapas, webtoon or its own site

I find just clicking the page to the next one helps me a lot lol I don't do a lot of zooming

copperine

Mmm

copperine

It's personal preference a lot tbh!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I like my comuter because its big

copperine

Valid

Mine is not

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

did anyone talk about paying me please you don't have to do that

copperine

Idk but you can pay me

Idk what for but

I'll take money

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I absolutely would have to if you made my site awesome X') work is work, and you should be paid for it

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

fair enough

Just send me a DM whenever you're up for that and lemme take a look at what you already have

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I would hire someone to do web design for me but I dont have the funds & I dont wnat to make someone do work for me for free

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I've been meaning to set up my own website for a while now, since the collective i was originally hosting my webcomic with kinda fell apart, but it's so much work and i'm hella intimidated :'''D

copperine

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) there's been some related discussion in #shop_talk and I believe @boogeymadam might be able to advise (I'm sure others can too but I'm going off the convo from earlier)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) depending on how much it is I can help you out

RebelVampire

Admin Reminder Remember this channel is for experiences as a reader first and foremost, so #shop_talk and #general are better if you want to discuss your own stuff.

DaeofthePast

thank you for the reminder :3

RebelVampire

I would say poor web design is something I have a complicated relationship regarding webcomics. On the one hand, outside of a site being 100% completely broken, I'm willing to sit through a lot to read. So in terms of affecting whether I read a comic the first time or not, there isn't much to say there. But it does affect how engaged I am with the comic. Cause if I can't easily go back to re-read a page, easily find things like character names, have to deal with extreme lag cause the host is garbage, have to deal with eye bleeding color schemes, etc. you can bet your bottom dollar 1 time is all that comic is going to get in terms of reading it. I can only subject myself to so much, and if I don't feel like reading a comic again because of the site itself, I'm going to quickly forget it in favor of comics whose sites don't make me cry. I do give more leeway to sites created by creators in many respects. But professional bigtime hosts like Tapas or Webtoons literally have no excuse for some of their garbage design choices. And some of their design choices are super duper garbage.

DaeofthePast

that's true yeah, there's a big distinction of the quality expectations between sites by small creators and those of big companies like Webtoons

RebelVampire

At the same time, though, I know from first hand experience that poor design choices are literally influenced by user data for bigger companies. So for every decision I consider stupid- at the same time they probably did the AB tests that showed crappy design A had better results for their conversion rates than user friendly design B.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Which boggles my mind

I wonder if there's some kinda causation-correlation thing going on that the A/B tests could not detect accurately

boogeymadam

Rebel mentioned sites that have eyebleedy color schemes and I'm in the same boat; will read the comic, just will be turning down the screen brightness a looot. Sites that have a huge space of extremely neon background that distracts from the comic make me reluctant to read on the site, and I'll look for a mirror before trying. That white background of the 2 big comic hosting sites can at least be affected and turned dark by nightmode when needed, while nightmode doesn't work on half the bright comic sites I've tried it on. u-u

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[unfolded73]

How Do We Get Back (8/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one.

Rated explicit. This chapter 3.3k words. So you know how my summary has always referred to a “terrible tragedy”? Ummm... here we go.   (ao3)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

_____________________________________

Chapter 8

Spring arrived in New York on muddy, wet feet, pouring down from the sky in day after day of rain. As David dragged himself from his empty apartment to his empty gallery and back (when he bothered opening the gallery at all), he found the rain to be perversely appropriate. The grayness, the lack of sunshine for days at a time fit his mood perfectly.

He knew he needed to stop hibernating alone, that he needed to put himself out there — go to a bar or at least open Tinder and swipe right on someone. But it felt like more than he could possibly handle, and so he stayed in his solitary cocoon. Friends would call or text sometimes, telling him to get his ass down to this or that party, but that too felt like it would require more energy than he could muster.

He rewatched Downton Abbey during those weeks, starting over with the first series as soon as he came to the end, and when he didn’t have the TV on, he wrote and wrote in his journals, filling two full books in February and March. He wrote about the way he was feeling, the heaviness on his heart that he couldn’t explain, and the way the thought of resuming his old dating habits, with its revolving door of shallow people, made him feel like crying. He wrote about the fact that his entire professional life had been a lie, propped up by his deceitful parents. And he wrote about Patrick.

There was a part of David that wished he and Patrick had never met. It was unfair that a person who’d been in his life for not even 36 hours could have made such an impression, could have left him feeling so abandoned when he had absolutely no right to feel abandoned. Patrick didn’t owe him anything, and what else was he supposed to do other than go back to his small-town Canadian life? But David couldn’t stop thinking about him, couldn’t stop unlocking his phone and looking at the few texts they’d exchanged, couldn’t help wondering what would happen if he texted Patrick now. He was too afraid to find out.

~*~

“Patrick, would you like some eggs?” his mother asked as he descended the stairs.

“Mom, I’ve told you that you don’t need to cook for me. I’m trying not to be an imposition,” he said, sitting down at the kitchen table to put on his shoes.

“You’re our son, not an imposition. And I’m making eggs anyway.” She gave him an exasperated but fond smile. “Where are you headed so early on a Saturday?”

“I’ve got more apartments to look at.” He’d been staying with his parents for several weeks and trying to find a more permanent place when he had the time and energy. So far the apartments he’d seen had been nice, but out of his price range, since he was still paying half the rent at the apartment where Rachel was living.

Marcy shot him a sad look. “You don’t have to run out and get another apartment; you can stay here for as long as you need to, until you and Rachel have a chance to work through everything.”

“I’ve told you that’s not going to happen.” When he’d shown up on their doorstep, teary-eyed and exhausted, his parents seemed to have resolved to let him figure things out on his own without commenting on his personal life. Apparently that resolve was crumbling as the weeks stretched out and he wasn’t reconciling with his wife.

“What’s not going to happen?” his dad asked as he came in from the back door, where he’d no doubt been up early trying to get a jump on preparing the yard for spring.

Marcy pulled an egg carton from the fridge and cracked two more eggs into a bowl. “I was just saying that Patrick doesn’t need to rush out and get another apartment. He has an apartment with his wife.”

“Which I’m going to be moving out of permanently once I get my own place,” Patrick said, picking up the newspaper to give his hands something to do. Every article on the front page detailed another horror. The rise of a new extremist sect in Syria that even ISIS was afraid of. Drought in California that threatened the world’s food supply. A mass suicide in China by some group called the Acolytes of King Yan. Bushfires in Australia. Patrick pushed the paper away.

He could see his parents exchange a look in his peripheral vision. “Patrick, I’ve spoken to Rachel a few times,” his mother said, and Patrick’s heart began to race. Had she told them what he’d done?

“What did she say?” he asked, terrified of the answer.

“She won’t say what happened, but I’ve never heard her so convinced that things aren’t going to work out between you two.” His mother abandoned the eggs she was whisking and sat down at the table next to him. “But for as long as you’ve been together, I can’t imagine that there’s no way to work things out. Whatever happened—”

“We aren’t going to work things out because I never should have been with her in the first place. Because I’m gay,” he blurted, his hands clutching together. Patrick sat there in the moment that hung silently after those words had left his mouth, in utter shock at himself.

“What makes you say that?” his father said and then chuckled uncomfortably.

Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound, Patrick thought. “There was a guy I met in February, and if love at first sight were a real thing, then I swear that’s what I experienced. I cheated on Rachel. And I realized the reason things have never felt right with her. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, but I’ve spent a lot of time soul-searching the past few weeks, and thinking about my past and some of the… some of the other men I’ve known, and… this is who I am.”

His parents were looking at each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes. The other thing Patrick had thought a lot about over the past few weeks was whether his parents were homophobic. He didn’t think so — he knew they were good people — but the fear of rejection clawed at his throat as he sat and waited for them to react.

The first thing that happened was that his mother reached for his hand. “Oh, sweetheart. First of all, know that we love you.” She looked up at Clint, who nodded. “And second of all, this must be very difficult and very confusing, so know that we’re here for you.”

“This man you mentioned, are you… still seeing him?” Clint asked.

Patrick looked down at the table. “No.” He wished he could say yes. He still thought about David every day.

“Rachel knows?” Marcy asked.

He nodded. “I told her everything.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with this alone. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have been pushing you to patch things up.”

“Yeah, you did that a lot over the years,” Patrick said, and then immediately regretted it as Marcy’s face fell. “But you didn’t know. How could you? I didn’t even know.” He stood up, anxious to put an end to this conversation. The best thing he could probably do at this point was to give his parents a little while to process. “I’m going to be late for my first appointment, but I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Oh!” Marcy looked at the clock. “What about breakfast?”

“Sorry, I’ll grab something later,” Patrick said, and then found himself pulled into a hug by his mother before he quite knew what was happening.

“We love you so much, sweet boy,” she said. “That will never change, you hear me?”

Patrick nodded. He felt his father’s hand, a comforting weight on his shoulder, and Patrick sagged with relief. He’d told them. He’d come out, and his parents had taken it pretty well.

Once he was sitting in his car, he pulled out his phone and sent Rachel a text.

I came out to my parents. You don’t have to keep it a secret anymore if you don’t want to.

The receipt appeared, indicating she’d read the text, but she didn’t respond. Not that he deserved a response from Rachel — it was enough to know that the message was delivered.

He then switched over to a text chain with Stevie. Her deadpan jokes and the occasional stupid meme she’d send him had been getting him through the last few weeks.

I told my parents I’m gay, he wrote. It was getting a little easier each time he said it. She didn’t respond immediately, so Patrick put his phone in the cup holder and started his car, backing out of the driveway to drive to a block of apartments on the other side of town. When he arrived, there was a message waiting from Stevie.

how’d it go?

[Patrick] Not bad, considering.

[Stevie] i’m proud of u 🌈

Smiling for the first time days, Patrick got out of the car and walked up to the apartment building with a bit of a spring in his step.

~*~

David winced as he walked into the club, the thumping techno beat and strobing lights already giving him a headache before the night had even started. Attractive men and women filled the dancefloor and clustered around the bar, an orgy of attempted human connection. Immediately regretting his decision to leave his apartment, David made his way to the bar and ordered a martini, the most efficient vehicle for feeding alcohol into his bloodstream short of an IV. While he waited, he looked around the room, automatically cataloging the designer clothes on display. Seeing a few interesting pieces that he didn’t recognize, David made a mental note to do some serious shopping soon. His hibernation meant he’d fallen out of the loop on a number of fronts, and fashion was foremost among them. He nodded to himself; a day of shopping on Fifth Avenue was perhaps just what he needed to shake himself out of this funk. His drink arrived, and he handed over his credit card, telling the bartender to open a tab, before he set off toward the back of the club.

“David, darling!” A tall woman in a black jumpsuit was waving him over to one of the large roped-off booths. “I told you I could get him to emerge at last.”

He went where he was being summoned, giving her a tiny wave. “I can never pass up an invitation from you, Diana.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve passed up a few, David, but I suppose I’ll forgive you. What have you been up to this season?”

“Just taking some time for me, you know?” He didn’t have to tell her that ‘me’ time was bingeing on Netflix and junk food and sleeping ten hours a day.

David fell into the rhythm of meaningless patter that this crowd of people required: name drops and salacious gossip and loudly proclaimed, buzzword-filled opinions about art or books or film. He bought rounds of drinks for the group, more rounds than anyone else paid for, because he was David Rose and that’s what David Rose did. That was why he was invited to things, he suspected. Not because any of these people gave a damn whether he lived or died.

“David!”

He knew the voice before he even turned around, the raspy scrape of it was like a sharp stick between his shoulder blades.

“Sebastian,” he said, trying to keep his own voice even and unaffected by the presence of his ex. “I didn’t know you were in New York.”

“I wasn’t until recently. Vanity Fair hired me to photograph Jack Dorsey’s spiritual awakening in Tibet, so I was out there for a while. Really beautiful, haunting stuff,” Sebastian said as he plucked an olive out of David’s drink and put it in his own mouth.

David narrowed his eyes. “Can a person have a spiritual awakening when it’s being documented for Vanity Fair, though?”

“How are you? People are saying you might close the gallery.”

David’s mouth dropped open. “I’m not closing the gallery,” he said. Surely the fact that his father’s business manager had advised him to do exactly that couldn’t be public knowledge.

“Okay, good.” Sebastian put an arm around him in a possessive move that made David cringe. “You know how these rumors get started. Must be because it’s been closed a lot lately? That’s what I heard. And that you haven’t hosted an opening in a while.”

Sebastian Raine may have only been back in town for a short time, but apparently it was enough time to collect a whole set of sharp darts for him to throw straight and true into the heart of David’s insecurities.

“Can I get you another drink? Sebastian asked.

David looked down at his mostly-full glass. “No, I’m good.”

He thought about Patrick suddenly, and how refreshing it had been to talk to someone whose every remark wasn’t calculated to cut him down and play on his weaknesses, or to just get him wasted. The gnawing empty hole in his heart that he’d been living with for weeks widened a tiny fraction.

“I spent a lot of my time in Tibet just, feeding my soul, you know?”

“Mm hmm,” David said.

“It made me see a lot of the things that happened in the past in a new light. Us, for example. I want you to know that I care about what happened between you and me. And while my therapist said I should never feel sorrow, I do appreciate your pain.”

“I’m not feeling any pain about the past, Sebastian,” David said. “Not anymore.” Not about you.

“That’s good, David, that’s so good.” He felt Sebastian’s hand slide down his back. “It really frees you to… pursue your desires without baggage.”

David almost laughed. Sebastian’s attempt at seduction was so obvious, and it made him wonder if he had always been this stupidly transparent. What exactly had he seen in this self-important douchebag?

Nodding, David took a large step away from Sebastian, shaking off his arm. “It really does. It makes a lot of things very clear.” Looking around at the other people whose drinks he’d been buying all night, David frowned. What am I doing here?

“Diana? I’m gonna head out,” he called.

“Oh, David, the night is so young!” she said with a fake pout, but then someone else lured her attention and she appeared to immediately forget he existed.

“Can I walk you home?” Sebastian asked.

“Nope.” David said as he pulled on his leather jacket. “I’m good.”

The look of confused disappointment on Sebastian’s face would keep David warm for weeks, he thought as he went over to the bar to close out his tab, a half-smile on his face. Traversing the few blocks back to his apartment, David held his head higher than he had in months.

As he unlocked his apartment door, his phone buzzed with an incoming call. Dad, it said on the screen. Why on earth would his father be calling him at midnight, he thought with annoyance, answering the phone.

“Hi, what?” David dropped his keys into a bowl on the table in the foyer and began shrugging out of his jacket.

There was a pause. “David, are you at your apartment?”

His father’s voice sounded weird. “Yeah, I just got home, why?” He could hear what he thought was his mother in the background, but it was almost like a whimpering, keening noise. Then it faded, like his father was moving farther away from her. “What’s wrong with Mom now?” David asked, figuring she’d failed to get cast in a role she wanted, or that the cleaners had ruined one of her favorite outfits.

“David, can you sit down? I need you to be… I need you to sit down.”

David stood in the middle of the living room, looking out the dark windows of his apartment. “I am sitting down,” he lied. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s Alexis.” He swallowed so loudly that the phone picked up the sound. “David, she…”

“Oh my God, spit it out!” David’s pulse had started to race. Surely she was fine, though, right? She was fine. She was always fine.

“She was on a yacht with some friends, and… they don’t know how it happened, but she fell overboard and no one realized it. It was dark, I guess, and people were drunk…”

David’s vision started to narrow, whiteness filling his periphery. “Is she…?”

“She drowned, David. Alexis… she drowned.”

His body was breaking out in a cold sweat. It felt like a sudden onset of the flu. Or like he’d felt when he was thirteen and had broken his nose, the blood pouring down onto his white T-shirt.

“David, did you hear what I said?” His father’s voice sounded like it was coming to him from the bottom of a well.

“What do you mean, she drowned? Are they sure, or can they just not find her?”

“They found her.”

Her body, that’s what he wasn’t saying. They found her body.

David sagged, catching himself with a hand gripping the back of the sofa. His eyes followed the zig zagging pattern on the rug under his feet. back and forth and back and forth and....

“David?” Johnny said softly. “Are you there?”

“I think I might be sick,” David whispered.

“Okay. That’s okay, son.”

Still holding the phone to his ear, David stumbled into the bathroom and leaned over the sink. He knew it would be better to kneel down next to the toilet, but he felt like if he got down on the floor he might just never get up again. “What do we do?” he asked his father.

“We have to arrange to have her…” Johnny paused and cleared his throat. “We have to have her body flown back to the States, so I’ve been on the phone with the U.S. consulate in Mexico, and also with the airline—” Johnny seemed to lose his voice on the last word, like he’d suddenly been sealed under a bell jar. David looked up at his face in the mirror. His stubble stood out harshly against his over-pale face, the mole on his chin that he’d nicked shaving dozens of times even more noticeable than usual.

“Is Mom…?” David asked.

“She’s taken a sleeping pill.”

��I’ll come up there… now. I’ll come up there now.”

“I can send a limo to get you,” Johnny said.

David considered refusing that offer, but he imagined getting on a train and just the thought brought him closer to vomiting. “Okay.”

He hung up the phone without saying goodbye, setting it carefully on the vanity before finally sliding to the floor.

~*~

“Stevie?” Patrick said into the phone. “I’ve literally never seen you use a phone as a phone, what’s wrong?”

“Remember when you told me to google that guy? David Rose, right?”

Patrick’s eyebrows shot up, and he paused midway through pouring himself a cup of coffee from the office coffee pot. “Yeah?”

“To be honest, I forgot immediately and never did it. But I just saw something online, and… this is the David Rose whose sister is Alexis Rose, right? The socialite?”

She said that like he should have heard of Alexis outside of meeting her, but he never had. “Yeah, his sister is named Alexis.”

“It’s all over twitter. Patrick, she died in a boating accident.”

Chapter 9

.......

I know, guys. I know. Just repeat to yourself that this universe is wrong, and please don't yell at me too much!

[the-velociruby]

Earnest Discussions with Velo C. Raptor, #1

My Experiences with Bumbleby

I wanna try expressing my opinions & opening up a little bit here, if no one minds. This’ll be a first in a bunch of personal discourses, if anyone wants to see these kinds of posts from me. So as I am making my presence known on this site (probably a bad idea), I’ve been representing myself as a Bumbleby shipper. I wouldn’t say I’m the most devout shipper out there, nor do I really want to be viewed in that way, but when there’s a pairing that I really enjoy I’ll latch onto it tight. And Bumbleby happens to be one of them. Why do I enjoy it so much you may ask? Well, let’s dive right into that.

When I was first getting into anime, with Fullmetal Alchemist & Attack on Titan being my firsts, I was really getting into it. But my interests in most of the shows I watched died out as I finished them, and I felt a little empty without a show to be obsessed with. I was also an avid fan of Red Vs Blue at the time, so when they first announced RWBY as I was getting into anime, I was really interested. After watching the trailers, I was hooked. After watching the very first episode, I was in love with it. Granted, I didn’t like Volume 2 all that much (despite the bees’ dance), so my interests in it did die a little; that was quickly remedied by Volume 3, and then I was officially obsessed.

So while watching RWBY in its early years, I came to a few conclusions that others may have had at first: that Cinder Fall was the biggest bad, Adam Taurus was supposed to be some sort of mysterious badass (cue vomit in mouth), and everyone was gonna have a happy ending of some kind. Oh, and there was also something really important I concluded at the time: I thought everybody was straight. To me, it looked like almost everyone had a love interest of the opposite gender, such as Jaune & Pyrrha, Ren & Nora, Weiss & Neptune… and Sun & Blake. I didn’t really look hard enough into the show to think otherwise; I just assumed that Sun and Blake were gonna hook up while Yang was just gonna have her adventures happily by herself or with Ruby. It didn’t really bother me when I thought Rooster Teeth was gonna go for an all straight romance; I was pretty much fine with it because I would support the show I enjoy no matter what. Although admittedly, I did find that somewhat boring.

So if I thought RWBY was gonna go a heteronormative route, what got me into Bumbleby? Back to me first getting into anime: a thing I would do was go on the internet and search the shows I watched in the hopes of finding more content, which was how I came upon the world of fanfics and fanart. I remember how I’d look for & read FMA fanfics nonstop. RWBY was no exception; thus, I was introduced to Bumbleby through the fan-made works of its supporters (same for White Rose, which is also my favorite but a guilty pleasure because I think it’s much less likely to be canon). At first I was confused by such work, thinking ‘why would anybody ship Blake and Yang together if Blake had Sun?’ It didn’t make sense to me at first, but I found myself drawn to the numerous depictions of Blake & Yang together nonetheless.

And then it hit me: they look good together. GREAT, in fact. I was stunned, never having thought that such a relationship could have ever been conceived before. It was as if nothing could compare, nor the other RWBY ships could stand up to it. Not even Arkos, probably one of if not the most significant ship in RWBY, was designed so perfectly like Bumbleby was. Just everything about those two complimented & contrasted with each other so well – black against yellow, amber eyes complementary to lilac ones, and their fantasy inspirations intermingling with one another. The more I would find fanart and fanfics of it, the more I would fall in love with it. It was by far the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, and it was the works of other fans that convinced me that they were the perfect ship.

But to me at first, it didn’t look like Rooster Teeth agreed with that train of thought. I still believed that they were gonna put everyone in a straight romance (and by that I mean I still thought Blake and Sun were gonna hook up). I didn’t really have any of the investigative skills I have now to look deeper into the show to think otherwise, though I did question moments in the show that wouldn’t have made sense for a friendship-Bumbleby or a romantic-Black Sun. Still, I was certain that Blake & Yang were straight at first, so I pretty much made Bumbleby a guilty pleasure. Honestly, I would’ve still supported Rooster Teeth and RWBY if they went with Black Sun, as I didn’t fall for the series simply for the romance.

Then Volume 4 came out, then Volume 5, and now Volume 6. Now, I have come to new conclusions: RWBY has a bigger n’ better bad in the form of Salem, Adam is the bull-horned bastard that he is who deserved damnation, and everything is a lot more greyer than previously thought (as in not morally black and white). Oh, and I concluded something else that’s really important: not everybody is straight. Black Sun turned out to be a friendship more so than a romance; Yang and Blake were painfully missing each other during their separation; then they were reunited and that’s all that matters (music reference haha); everything just started pointing towards a deeper relationship between the ex-partners. Bumbleby was more than likely to be canon, and it pretty much is at this point. Their stories were practically woven together, setting everything up for them to be together. Everything about Bumbleby just seemed right now. I couldn’t have been more elated.

So some individuals outside the Bumbleby fandom may think that I’m “delusional” for believing in its confirmation. Some of those people may think I’m approving of something “toxic” (which is a ridiculous sentiment might I add). Frankly, I don’t care for any negative things others might say about my preferences. This is the internet, only real life can hurt my feelings. It also never matters to me if the characters in a canon or non-canon ship are of the same gender & sexuality or not, what matters is that they’re depicted to be happy and in love. I ship two characters I adore because it makes me happy. Frankly, I’m always afraid of never finding a special someone. The thought of not having a partner and living alone severely depresses me, and I have these thoughts constantly. But when I see two amazing characters I appeal to in a happy, healthy, and fantastically developed relationship, especially one like Bumbleby, it will always give me a little hope for my own future. Or if a ship’s simply canon then I’ll just love it like a blind puppy dog.

So I guess that’s all I have to say. I enjoy the Bees, they’re on their way to canonization if not already, and I couldn’t be happier. I also couldn’t be more thankful for the contributions of others in the RWBY fandom to Bumbleby. If I didn’t find the passion behind Bumbleby that others have, a passion I learned to share & understand, I’d probably be a generally more miserable person than a joyful one. Thank you for taking your time to read this earnest discussion. If anyone wants to see more of these from me, please be sure to let me know. Also, send me any asks if you want me to elaborate on anything!

[carlottastudios]

Do you guys remember a long long long ass time ago when I made posts about an original series idea of mine called Dawnlyte? Well, Dawnlyte is not the only original series I'm planning. This one, oh boy, this one is one I'm been INTENSELY planning and putting thought and work into for the past few months. Like Dawnlyte, this is an idea that's been in my mind for years now (not as many as Dawnlyte, but still quite a few), and now I finally feel ready to post something about it. Peoples, I present you my first ever post about Fabler! Unlike Dawnlyte, which is high fantasy like Lord of the Rings or The Dragon Prince, Fabler is an urban fantasy series like Harry Potter, Dresden Files and Spiderwick Chronicles. This series in particular is very much inspired by Harry Potter, but with way less of a focus on school and way more focus on how fun magic can be. Also, whereas Harry Potter has plenty of witches and wizards, Fabler follows a logic much more akin to The Wizard of Oz, because there are plenty of witches and, so far, only 1 wizard. Also, there's quite a bit of mythology showing up in Fabler as well, particularly a certain character whom I've been wanting to write in a sympathetic light for ages now and now I finally can! That's all I'll say for now here, but if you guys have any and all questions about the series, feel free to ask them and I'll try to answer without giving away too many spoilers. Also, I'll try to post more Fabler content in the future that can answer some of those questions (or create more questions). But now getting to these particular posts. Very recently, I've finally been able to establish the very basic plot for the main story of Fabler and, thus, I was able to determine all of the characters who'll come into play. At least, all of the characters who have enough of a role to merit a name. And when I finally got my list of named characters, I decided to do something Ive been longing to do since I discovered @thenamelessdoll​'s crossover To Belong series: make my own Non/Disney Crossover cast for my own story. And so that's what I did here! I got my whole list of named Fabler characters and, after much searching and deliberating, decided on which 2D animated Disney or very-similar-to-Disney character would "play" as them if I were ever to make a Non/Disney Crossover series of videos for Fabler (which I will tell you now I will probably never do as I don't have the right programs for making Non/Disney Crossover edits, not to mention my talents lie more in writing and drawing, not video editing). And now, I think I might as well explain some of the reasons for my casting choices! Why? Because I can and because I am SOOO excited to finally be talking about Fabler!

Kayley as Tarina: This was the first ever casting choice and it was one I've had right from the beginning, pretty much since I came up with Tarina. Tarina is the main character and I kinda based her on Kayley in a few ways. And not just her appearance, I swear. Because yes, Tarina is supposed to look like Kayley in terms of character design. Also, Kayley was one of my favourite characters ever growing up and I believe she deserves more attention. So I'm putting her in the spotlight here by having her play the role of my main girl Tarina! Kida as Kat: Kat was more challenging to cast. I was thinking of having her played by Audrey, since both are pretty tough girls. But Kat's not super rough the way Audrey comes off as being. So I wanted someone a bit more gentle and easily approachable. Oddly, the badass warrior princess who can wield spears and knives kinda fits that more. Also, Kat isn't actually a total tomboy and I felt casting Audrey as her would give off that impression. Also, both Kida and Kat have names that start with K and both of them are lovely ladies with long white hair. So that lines up! Belle as Celeste: Celeste is kind of the opposite of Kat in that you might think at first that she's a total girly girl, but she's not, and the wrong cast choice would've given off that impression. Yes, Celeste is very feminine and beautiful and refined and classy, like Belle. She's also very mature like Belle. Also, she tends to be one of the more responsible people in a group of friends, similar to Hermoine (whose actress also played as Belle in the Live Action Disney version there's another connection). Basically, Belle was my dream choice as the casting choice for Celeste! Mulan as Neva: Mulan was actually my very first choice for Neva, because their stories are actually really similar. Unlike the three previous girls, Neva is not a witch, so when she arrives into the story, she's a complete noob and she's going to need some help before she becomes a badass. Mulan's been there and done that! Also, I just love Mulan as a character and really wanted to include her in my lineup. She also resembles Neva in part because Neva is one of the few girls to have sleek short hair. Also, Mulan's fun personality matches well with my happy darling Neva. Eilonwy as Peah: Peah is one of the younger characters in the story, just as Eilonwy is one of the younger female Disney heroes. Aside from that, both of them have this sort of determined and kind of commanding air to them that only brave little girls can exhibit in their particular style. Both are young, but they're not to be messed with. Also, they're both not really the sort to stand aside while the action is going on. Peah is young, yes, but she's more capable than others expect, and I feel that Eilonwy has the right vibe for that. Jasmine as Ashley: Now this is the tomboy of the group! And I'm having Jasmine play as her instead of someone like Audrey. Why? Well, Jasmine's just way more fiery in my eyes. And "fiery" is what Ashley is. In more ways than one. Also, Jasmine used to be my favourite Disney princess and I still really love her, so I wanted to give her a nice role in my cast. Strangely though, Jasmine and Ashley have very different backstories. Jasmine is a princess while as Ashley is one of the furthest people from princess status as you can get. It's ironic, but oddly, I find it weirdly works. Crysta as Thistlemoth: Now, I haven't actually seen the movie where Crysta is from, but I've seen her in Non/Disney Crossover videos quite a few times. And her design of being a fairy or pixie or whatever is so perfectly similar to Thistlemoth (who is indeed a pixie) that denying this casting choice would've been sheer madness. Of course, by that logic, I probably could've gone with Tinkerbell too, but Tinkerbell's personality is VERY different from sweet, crazy Thistlemoth. Plus, Crysta's more "wild" looks are more in line with what Thistlemoth looks like. Sarah as Bianca: Like with Crysta as Thistlemoth, I haven't seen the movie where Sarah is from. I've only seen Sarah in Non/Disney Crossover videos. In all honesty, I don't have super-good reason for this choice of casting aside from looks. Sarah does look similar to what I want Bianca to look like. Only with a snake tail instead of legs. Yup. That's right. Bianca is a naga. I have nagas in my story. Also, another reason I admit I chose Sarah is because, from the Non/Disney videos I've seen her in, some of her mannerisms are kind of in line with Bianca too. Meg as Lilith: Yes, you read that name right. I have Lilith, the actual first woman and Adam's first wife, in my story. No, she is not the character I've been wanting to write for ages. Anyway, about the casting, Meg's mannerisms and personality are really in line with my version of Lilith. Lilith even has a pretty sad backstory that's sort of similar to Meg's. I won't explain it here because that is spoiler territory. Their looks are rather different though. Lilith's more similar to Jasmine, who was actually cast as Lilith before I realized Meg was a much better fit. Cinderella as Ericaine: You've probably noticed that this is a bit of a last-minute change. At first, Ariel was in the role of Ericaine, much to my reluctance. But, honestly, her personality and looks and mannerisms are really different from Ericaine. So why had I initially considered her? Because I had previously cast Cinderella as someone else. But now, I'm using Cinderella because her looks match up very well with Ericaine, as do her actions, and I like putting her in the spotlight more than Ariel! Ericaine isn't nearly as sweet as Cindy, though. She's more...temperamental. Ariel as Eir: You've probably guessed that I'm not the biggest Ariel fan. I'm not. And I confess I fought tooth and nail to not have to include her in my cast. But, in the end, ya gotta do what you gotta do. At least now, as Eir, she's in a much more suitable role. Eir is funloving and adventurous, much like Ariel, so that lines up great for me to use Ariel as her. There's also a bit of a connection when it comes to a male character that I might explain later, or maybe not. Feel free to ask me about it though. Melody as Raven: I was originally going to have Shanti as Raven, but, seriously, Melody and her story and personality just line up SO MUCH BETTER! If I explain it here, it's going to be spoilers-a-plenty, but I'll just say that when you think about it, it's seriously perfect. Raven is different looks-wise (I'm actually thinking that she's blond instead of...well, raven-haired), but Melody's just got the right attitude and actions for her. As you might've guessed, Raven is another pretty young character. I think she's actually even younger than Peah, but I'll have to check my notes again. Jim as Lucifer: YES! This is the character I've been wanting to write for so long!!! Because the devil has been treated as little more than a scapegoat for millennia and I want to write a story where he's actually a nice, sympathetic guy. Yes, I know the show Lucifer is already doing that, but I want to do it my own way. And Jim was always my first casting choice. Because 1) I'm a huge JimxKayley shipper, 2) Jim was one of my heroes growing up, and 3) the angst-ball teenager who grows into a capable young man is exactly what I need for my version of the devil! Aladdin as Rory: This was one of the easiest cast choices ever. Not because Rory is a street urchin who ends up finding a genie, but because Rory is a sweet fluffy supposed-orphan boy who is a beam of sunshine, yet still has his serious and deep sides. Fits with Aladdin's emotional state in his movies, don't you think? Also, Aladdin looks similar to how I envision Rory. He's admittedly older than what Rory's supposed to be (Rory's supposed to be slightly younger than Tarina), but aside from that, it's a pretty great match! Like I said, Aladdin was my first choice. Milo as Chayce: Chayce is sooooo much grumpier and sassier than Milo, but he is just as awkward and smart. Yes, he's the nerd of the group and I adore him. I mean, I love all my characters, including my grumpy white-lion boy. Yes, I said white lion boy. Chayce is a sphinx, which is a species I'm particularly proud of. As a result, he is way way fluffier than Milo, physically. Milo's way fluffier personality-wise. Milo is the adorkable kind of nerd, while as Chayce is the more smartass kind of nerd. But it's still the best fit I could find for my cast. Taran as Andrew: I feel that Taran doesn't get enough attention, so I'm going to give it to him! Andrew is a character who keeps popping up in Fabler and the more he does, the more I've grown to love him. He actually used to be quite different than what he is now, and I honestly have no clue who I would've used as his non/Disney counterpart had I not changed his character. Now though, Taran's a surprisingly nice fit for my misguided baby Andrew. They both desperately want renown and both suffer from their efforts. Also, they're both young lads with floofy hair! Shang as Mato: Nothing I say will convince you that Shang playing Mato who (spoiler alert) will get with Neva who is being played by Mulan was a happy accident, will it? Because I swear it was! Shang just fits Mato's role nicely! Granted, Mato is not a captain of his group, but he is an experienced member of a fighting organization in Fabler, the warlocks if you must know (feel free to ask me about them), and he does help train Neva as well as protect people like the witches and especially Apus (woops, another spoiler). As for looks...um...I'll have to get back to you on that. Garrett as Liam: This was a surprisingly tough cast choice to make. Despite the number of "prince charming" figures in Disney to choose from, none of them are actually fitting in my opinion for the "prince charming" like character. Because Liam IS based on prince charming! From Cinderella specifically! And yet Cindy's prince Charming was NOT A GOOD FIT! It makes me laugh, it hurts so much! So, why did I go for Garrett? 1) he and his movie don't get enough attention, 2) his looks are a decent fit and 3) his serious nature and the fact that he's a legit warrior fits Liam well. Miguel as Edmund: This was another super-easy cast choice to make. Miguel's features loosely match some of Edmund's, particularly the blond hair. However, it's mostly Miguel's demeanor and mannerisms and energy that fit Edmund to a T. Edmund is just so playful and flamboyant and also a little goofy. All of which describe Miguel, I find. Miguel is also pretty flirty at times throughout his movie. So he's actually more restrained than Edmund, whom I affectionately call the slut or the thot of my cast. Because he totally is! And I love him for it! Prince Phillip as Darius Ray: I did NOT want to cast one of my favourite ever princes as this asshole. Because make no mistake, Darius Ray is an asshole, one who borders on sociopathy. Pretty much the opposite of Phillip, who is a genuinely awesome guy! So why did I make this cast choice?! Well, it was better than the first one I did, as you! Darius used to be played by Peter Pan, but I just COULD NOT follow through with that! Peter is just so precious and he's way too young to play Darius. Phillip has the age going for him, plus some of Phillip's playfulness and body type. Kenai as Apus: This is another looks-based casting choice. I haven't seen Brother Bear in a really long time, but I remember that Kenai's more rash personality is way different than calm and gentle Apus. But Kenai is a very fluffy-looking boy (and I'm not just talking about when he's a bear) and that fluffy is one of Apus's main physical traits. Fitting, since Apus is a yeti. Yes, yetis are a sentient species and they are more humanoid-looking than how they're traditionally depicted. Also, Kenai is mostly not human in his movie, which fits because Apus is a more minor character. Tulio as Mephistopheles: These two have looks that differ quite a bit, but I still wanted Tulio, from the get-go, to be Mephistopheles' Non/Disney counterpart. Because I've seen Tulio depicted as a villain in a few Non/Disney projects at this point and I want to counter that. Because I love Tulio! He's so funny! And Mephistopheles is a funny guy. Admittedly, he's still more cool-headed than Tulio, but he's a huge dork and I love him. Also, a few of Tulio's incredibly funny mannerisms fit well with Meph, particular in his interactions with Lucifer, who is, of course, his boss. Cale as Gabriel: Now isn't this an ironic choice? Cale is a cynical and rebellious character while as the angel Gabriel, in my story, is a stickler to the rules. But he is very jaded when it comes to his "little brother" Lucifer. And Cale, to me, kinda looks like he could be Jim's older brother with whom he doesn't get along. Kinda. But also, Cale has had moments in his movie where he's being more agressive and angry, and that certainly fits how Gabriel acts around Lucifer for most of the story. Also I just like Titan AE, okay? Hercules as Conor: Is it ironic that I'm having Hercules play a character who is a centaur? Because Conor is a centaur and Hercules fought a centaur in his movie? No? Not ironic? Okay. Still, I just thought it was interesting to point out. Another thing to point out is that Hercules has the perfect jock vibe to fit with Conor, who is such a golden boy it's impossible not to roll your eyes at him at least once. But he's not all ego. Conor's actually a nice guy and a good friend, much like how Hercules is a very good boy. Helga as Thelen: Have you ever been in a situation where the perfect cast choice just gift-wraps itself for you? Because that was the case with this choice! I'm just surprised that I didn't think of Helga immediately when I came up with Thelen's character! Their looks match up very well. The only remarkable difference is that Thelen is younger than Helga, or at least she seems younger. But aside from that, their features match great, their intimidating and domineering personalities are a great fit and especially the fact that both are very competent fighters! Odette as Diantha: Odette was my first cast choice for Diantha, but I almost didn't go with her for fear that I might need to use Odette for another role. But luckily, I didn't have to compromise that perfect cast choice! Okay, granted, there's still some differences between these two ladies. Odette, in her movie, has some moments where she's angry, but Diantha is much more so. She's rather strict in a motherly way, but she's also very regal and queen-like, at least it's how I always imagine her. And Odette often has that kind of regal dignity, I find. Sarah as Hiverein: This was honestly a casting choice I hadn't expected to make. Hiverein, in terms of looks, is rather different from Sarah Hawkins. While as Sarah is a normal human woman and looks it, Hiverein is the queen of the fairies, and in looks, she lives up to that. But there is nonetheless a connection in their characters. Both of these ladies are loving mothers, Sarah to Jim and Hiverein to her son Royse. Hiverein is also a queen who isn't afraid to be hands-on when it comes to taking care of her people, which reminds me of Sarah running her inn. Tiana as Greylyn: Personality-wise, Greylyn and Tiana have similarities. Both are extremely hard-working and dedicated to their goals, though these goals are very different. Tiana has personal ambitions of wanting a restaurant while as Greylyn is trying to lead and nurture her coven as well as she possibly can. Yet both women are good at putting a smile on their faces for the people watching them work. They also both deal in food a lot. Their looks are fairly similar as well, though how similar, I'm not sure yet, because I haven't finalized Greylyn's design yet. Asenath as Lillah: Even though she doesn't play a huge role in her movie, Asenath was actually one of my favourite characters as a child, so I was eager to find a place for her in my cast. And I think Lillah is a great fit. Lillah is a very calm character who tends to have a soothing presence whenever she arrives in a scene (kind of funny, given she's a ghost). Asenath, to me, was always very calming, which is partly why I liked her as a kid. Asenath was also a voice of reason in her movie and Lillah definitely acts as that in Fabler. Empress Marie as Norn: Goodness gracious has Norn's cast choice changed! I used to have her played by Tzipporah, but that would be pretty innacurate because of Norn's age. Norn is in her early 60s during the story of Fabler, while as Tzipporah is way younger, despite the fact that she looks similar to Norn. I went with empress Marie instead in hopes of that she would reflect the age a bit better, although I think Marie is older than early 60s. But there are some things Marie has going for her that still liken her to Norn: her grandmotherly kindness and regal presence. Madame Adelaide as Leira: Very similarly to Norn, Leira is in her late 50s-early 60s during Fabler, but my first cast choice for her really didn't reflect that. Her original cast choice was Cinderella, which is why it took me a while to finally cast Cinderella as Ericaine. But now I think that madame Adelaide is a better fit. Not just because of her age though. Madame is extremely caring and doting towards her cats, and Leira is similar towards another character in Fabler. Also, madame is very wealthy and Leira kind of has an equivalent to that in that she's very magically gifted. Esmeralda as Arwa: Esmeralda was my first choice for Arwa, much like Odette was for Diantha and Aladdin was for Rory. Arwa is supposed to look similar to Esmeralda, especially with her brightly-coloured eyes (though Arwa's are yellow instead of green, but you gotta admit that Esmeralda's eyes are a strikingly bright green). Arwa is also incredibly fierce like Esmeralda, and just like Esmeralda seems to be a kind of leader of the gypsies, Arwa is a leader of her pack of werewolves. Both are defiant and utterly badass ladies and, in short, this was a perfect cast match. Anya as the Fabler: Oh goodie, goodie, goodie, the titular fabler cometh at last! But I'm not going to tell you a lot about her! She's an incredibly mysterious and unknown character, which is strangely fitting because Anya's movie is inspired by the mystery of the princess Anastasia. But even putting that aside, Anya is a great cast choice for the Fabler. Their looks line up very well (if not their outfits), their mannerisms and expressions too, and the way the Fabler presents herself to the characters is very fun and sparky in a way very similar to Anya. Juliana as Hera: I know you're thinking. You're thinking "ANOTHER Quest for Camelot character, Carlotta, really?!" YES! Really! I love this movie, okay?! And Juliana does fit reasonably well with how I'm interpreting Hera in Fabler. Juliana is the wife of a knight, and so she seems like a bit of a noblewoman and she carries herself well in that regard. Heck, this woman showed no fear from the movie's villain, Rubert, until he started threatening her daughter. Hera is similar in that she is a total boss! But she's not as helpful to the protagonists as Juliana was in her story. Marina as Jeyne: You wanna know something really ironic? Even though I am including Kayley's canonical mom in the cast, Marina is the one playing Tarina's character's mother. Yes, Jeyne is Tarina's mom and I have Marina in her role. I don't have much reason for this casting choice, except that it's one I've had pretty much from the start of the making of this cast. Also, the fact I'm using such an awesome character as Marina makes me sad that Jeyne doesn't have a bigger role in the main story of Fabler. Because while, yes, she does appear, she doesn't do a whole lot. Eris as Merlina: Eris is not going to be happy that I'm using her, a goddess, to play the role of a mere ghost, isn't she? Too bad! There was no way I wasn't going to include Eris, since she's one of my favourite parts of the movie she's from. She does have quite a few differences from Merlina though. Merlina was once human and her story is way more tragic than Eris's. She is a villain, but she's one of those villains who thinks she's in the right. Not the same as Eris, who knows she's evil and has fun with it. But both ladies are also very manipulative and destructive. John Smith as Royse: I love my character Royse but he was SO DANG DIFFICULT TO CAST! And even now, believe me, it's not a perfect fit. For the longest time, I thought that his Non/Disney counterpart would be Garrett, because of his long hair, serious nature, connection to nature, combative skills and the fact he has a staff for a weapon. Buuuutttt that'd be awkward for me, since Garrett is Kayley's canon love interest, he'd be playing as her father figure. So I went with John Smith because he seems older than Garrett. Even though his personality is very different. John Rolfe as Gawyn: Unlike Royse, Gawyn's cast choice was pretty easy peasy. John Rolfe has some of the looks I'm going for with it comes to Gawyn (even though Gawyn's hair is way curlier) and the same air of dignity. But Gawyn is much more...shall we say, quirky than Gawyn. And he's unashamed of it. So I guess you can say that there's still dignity in that and I agree. But yeah, John Rolfe is more serious than Gawyn and his looks aren't nearly as fantastical. But he was nonetheless the first to come to mind as a Non/Disney counterpart when I came up with Gawyn. Eric as Favian: Like Royse, Favian's cast choice has frequently changed. Partly because every time I changed Royse's cast choice, I wanted his hubby to have a cast choice that I could pair him up with. But now I'm happy I stuck with Eric. Personality, he's rather light-hearted, which is fitting with Favian's demeanor. There's still several changes, of course, like with his looks. Now, I haven't fully decided on Favian's look, but I know that while his dark hair matches Eric, he's certainly not as light-complected as the prince. Kale as Valerik: Derek was at first the one I was going to choose for Valerik. But then I remember Kale and I was like "Carlotta, you crazy! Kale is a WAY better fit!" First, there's looks. Like many of my characters (for now), I don't have a full design for Valerik yet, but it ressembles Kale's the more and more I think about it. Second, Kale seems like a good, calm leader, which Valerik is. Third, Kale seems like he'd be great with kids, and Valerik is a proud papa of a bunch of wee nippers. Not to say Derek doesn't have some of these qualities, but Kale just has more. Dimitri as Robin: Once again, a cast member that I was surprised I didn't think of sooner. I mean, Robin is something of a con man, but has some depths to him that take a while for the other characters to unlock. That's Dimitri in a nutshell, right?! Plus, Dimitri's often whacky expressions or mannerisms suit Robin well. As does Dimitri's slight tendency to be the glutton for punishment in the movie he's from. Moses as Tyrone: Tyrone doesn't look entirely like Moses, but I nonetheless feel that they have a few similarities in appearance. Tyrone is at least a bit paler, being a vampire (one of the few good ones in the Fabler universe, which is why I'm okay having a sweetheart like Moses play him), and the outfit will very much different, of course, but still, the looks are a good base for what I'm hoping for him to look like. Temperament-wise, though, I'll admit Moses isn't my best choice, as Tyrone isn't exactly all that sane when we first meet him in the story. He gets better though. Phoebus as Odin: I'll admit it. Phoebus is quite a bit younger than how Odin is supposed to be portrayed. But, in my defense, Odin is also an immortal god with divine power, so it's not out of the question that he could look rather good for his age. But also, both males are, of course, warriors. Yes, Odin may be more of a trickster and wiseman god, but he's not shy from a fight either. In Fabler, in fact, he does quite a bit of it. Also, Phoebus is capable of being serious, but also really friendly and joking, which is so perfect for how I want my boy Odin! Proteus as Hades: Yes, yes, yes, I know. I know that Disney already gave us Hades. And I do love Disney's Hades. However, I love more-early-source-accurate, good-boy, very-much-not-a-villain-you-fools Hades even more! So, why'd I choose Proteus for this version of Hades? His looks aren't tooooo far from the mark (certainly the long lovely ponytail isn't far), he's got a very good personality to go at least somewhat with Hades and many of his mannerisms fit well. All in all, 10/10 choice for me. Arthur as Baldur: LAST TIME I SWEAR! This is the last time I'm using a Quest for Camelot character, I promise! But yeah, here's the thing: I have NEVER! Not once! Ever seen Arthur used in a Non/Disney project! He wasn't used ONCE, to my knowledge! And, I mean, I can understand why. He really doesn't appear much in the movie. BUT! I'm not letting that stop me here! Arthur here actually does really fit with how I'm interpreting Baldur, AKA God (yes, as in Lucifer's dad), not just in looks, but in mannerisms as well. I'm happy I'm using this underused character! Sinbad as Syrus: You know something kind of ironic? Sinbad is normally portrayed, in Non/Disney, as Jim's father, or sometimes older brother (lookin at you TB). But I have seen him used as Kayley's father too and, honestly, I really like that as well. He's got the looks for it and the adventurous spirit. Which brings me to Syrus. His hair colour is admittedly a bit redder than Sinbad's (gotta explain where Tarina got her red hair from) and his eyes are different, but the rest fits neatly into how I envision Tarina's father. And again, I'm now sad he doesn't do more in the story. Dymus as Nightinion: Nightinion, much like Syrus, is another father who's one of the less important named characters. Specifically, he is Ericaine's father. But, nonetheless, I felt he was important enough to include in my cast. And why did I go with Dymas? Well, first off, he's a king. But there are, admittedly, quite a few Non/Disney kings. So why Dymas in particular? Well, something about him makes me feel like he has more strength and command than most Non/Disney kings, yet is still diplomatic and courteous. All of which are what I see in Nightinion. Dean as Natsbane: I love Dean. Really, I do. So I'm really sad for putting him in the role of this jerk. Because, while Natsbane isn't totally evil, he is not a nice guy. But something about Dean's general grumpy and unfriendly exterior and his love of his artwork remind me quite a bit of Natsbane. Though, if a full Non/Disney version of Fabler were to be made, Natsbane wouldn't be quite as...kinda-mad-scientist-wacko that he is in my envisioning. Then again, perhaps that's a good thing. It'd be interesting to see a mad scientist who's not mad as in insane, but mad as in angry. DISCLAIMERS: Fabler (c) me I OWN NONE OF THE SCREENSHOTS I USED TO MAKE THIS POST

[adigeon]

february fic roundup & fic recs

(originally posted on dreamwidth)

I wrote 13,830 words in February, according to my tracker, which isn't awful. On average I wrote 493.9 words a day. The most words I wrote in one day was 3,013, and I had 12 days where I wrote nothing :(

Details on what I posted in February behind the cut, as well as some links to fic I read and loved in February:

What I posted:

Days When the Rain Would Come: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, 1,732 words, rated T. Summary: Tony deals with someone unexpected coming to Peter's rescue, someone he really would rather not be playing nice with.

Peldor Joi, Doctor Bashir: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, 5,279 words, rated T. Summary: The Bajoran Council of Vedeks insists that Deep Space Nine's temple host the Orb of Time during the Peldor Festival celebrating the tenth year since Cardassia ceded control of the station. What could go wrong?

better than a homing beacon: Star Wars Original Trilogy & Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Luke Skywalker, 4,055 words, rated T. Summary: Cassian repeats what he’d told Loneozner: he needs transport to the Thand Sector, and quickly. No Hutts, no Imperials, and he can work for passage. And, of course, the droid: “There’s something wrong with my R4 unit,” he says. The R4 spins its dome in acknowledgement. “Any time it accesses its nav systems, it crashes.” “Luke’s really the person to ask about droid stuff,” Camie says.

Diffused Light: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Karl Mordo/Stephen Strange, 1,440 words, rated T. Summary: While trapped in the Soul Stone, Stephen Strange receives a visitor.

The Latest Work: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, 1,220 words, rated T. Summary: Garak is put in the unfortunate position of having to correct a misconception Bashir seems to have about Cardassian culture.

Found Wanting: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, 945 words, rated T. Summary: There's one of Jadzia's memories in particular that Ezri thinks a lot about.

What I read: 

Now for some recs! I did a lot of reading in February, so this is a bit lengthy. February was also the month of "huh, didn't realize I shipped that," including me dipping back into Harry Potter fic for the first time in years.

The Second, Silver: MCU, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, 9,122 words, rated M.

Summary: It was a beautiful watch. A mechanical wonder in rose gold, with a blue dial that showed the heavens, the moon and the stars. But it didn’t mean anything. It was simply another beautiful object that Tony owned. Though he admired the construction and design, the watch wasn’t even particularly to his taste, too cold and remote, its hands too delicate. He wondered why he’d gotten it in the first place.

Rec notes: Can't recommend this one strongly enough - mundane/no powers AUs for MCU aren't usually my thing, but the Tony voice in this is dead on, and Tony's POV of watching Stephen change is excellently done. There's a great thread running through the whole thing about Tony's reputation in the public eye and the extent to which he's closeted that I found incredibly compelling. (I actually read this in January according to my bookmarks, but I couldn't bear not sneaking it in here!)

we're in the process of rebuilding (and we're starting from scratch): Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Bodhi Rook, Bodhi Rook/K-2SO, Cassian Andor/K-2SO, Cassian Andor/Bodhi Rook/K-2SO, 4,524 words, rated T.

Summary: “I think my best friends have replaced me,” Cassian said over his breakfast. / Jyn was the only one left at their table, and she raised an eyebrow in reply. He knew what that meant. She was just interested enough to continue listening but not so curious that she’d ask him to go on. He did anyway. / “Bodhi and Kay have been sneaking off to spend time together when I’m not around.” / “Pretty sure that’s just called ‘hanging out,’” said Jyn.

Rec notes: Post-R1 everyone lives, has Bodhi befriending K2, Cassian being jealous of both of them, and it's just really lovely. Nicely understated, almost, given how complicated the relationship dynamics are in this.

Flighty: MCU, Scott Lang/Sam Wilson, 5,472 words, rated T.

Summary: In which Scott Lang spills his guts to Sam Wilson at who cares o' clock in the morning, and it all goes uphill from there. Feat. Wakandan infomercials, brooding worthy of any A-list superhero, an uncomfortably sincere compliment, and a requited crush.

Rec notes: This is so great. Scott POV, Scott learning Xhosa from Wakandan infomercials, just a fantastic portrayal of Scott in the aftermath of CA:CW. Also just pure chemistry between Scott and Sam and great banter. I did not realize I shipped this but I think I ship this.

volatile: Star Wars: Rogue One, Cassian Andor/K-2SO, 1,856 words, rated T.

Summary: Found Index : startled laugh, with the light in his eyes; squinting up at, his mouth shaping kay kay kay like a benediction as if machines could be blessed, but maybe they can, because there is cassian andor, smiling and squinting, and—

Rec notes: Bang-on K2 POV, and the pseudocode interspersed throughout works wonderfully.

deep in my soul: MCU, Karl Mordo/Stephen Strange, 1,695 words, rated E.

Summary: Within the Soul Stone our heroes dream the sweetest of dreams, all unaware they are in trapped in an imagined paradise. All except Stephen Strange, who wants to savor what the Stone has gifted him.

Rec notes: It's porn and it's also very sad and very very good!

To Watch the Faraway Stars: MCU, Heimdall/Loki, 2,930 words, rated T.

Summary: There aren't many things Heimdall cannot see. Loki is sometimes one of them.

Rec notes: Wonderful Heimdall POV, especially the bits where Heimdall is looking over the universe and seeing things that no one else could. There's such a great melancholy optimism to the fic, too, which befits its setting post-Ragnarok.

Sick Day: Broadchurch, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller, 1,560 words, rated G.

Summary: When Hardy calls in sick, a suspicious Ellie decides to pay him a visit.

Rec notes: Dead-on Hardy & Miller chemistry, and I love how restrained Hardy is in this. Hardy/Miller can be a little...florid, sometimes, with Hardy coming out of his shell too readily for my tastes, but here he's perfectly in character while being a little more emotionally vulnerable with Miller than we get to see him in canon.

when the wolfsbane blooms: Harry Potter, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, 7,576 words, rated T.

Summary:  Even a man who is pure in heart/And says his prayers by night/May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms/And the autumn moon is bright. Or: Severus Snape makes a new friend, invents a new potion, and accidentally changes everything.

Rec notes: Canon divergent Marauder-era Lupin/Snape; diverges after the Whomping Willow incident. Snape starts researching werewolves and decides to cure lycanthropy. Cue Snape spending lots of time with Remus, testing potions on him. Snape is still convincingly Snape, and all the potions-theory stuff included is aces.

upon this tidal wave of young blood: Harry Potter, Harry Potter/George Weasley, 10,124 words, rated T.

Summary: George stands before him in the doorway, like a gangly, terrible ghost. His face is heinously pale, which makes the dark bags under his eyes pop in a way that is altogether unflattering, and he wears only a large, striped sweater and a pair of boxers with bats on them. His hair is much longer than it had been last time Harry had seen him, and it’s pulled back into a loose knot. “Harry,” he says, and it comes out breathlessly. / “George.” Harry stands there, wholly encapsulated by familiar heartache just at the sight of his friend. His eyes flick past him to investigate the flat. Clothes and dirty dishes are strewn all over the living room and, if he’s not mistaken, there are at least three pairs of underwear hanging from the ceiling fan. He glances back at George, who is now leaning against the doorway staring at him, expressionless. Harry clears his throat. “I, um… came for a visit. Sorry.”

Rec notes: Harry/George is a post-canon HP ship I had never thought about before, but now that I've thought about it I reckon I might never stop thinking about it.

George Smiley's Wikipedia Page: John Le Carre's works, gen, 1,139 words, rated G.

Summary: What it says on the tin. An imagining of how George's wiki page might look in universe circa a few years after Legacy.

Rec notes: An in-canon wikipedia page for George Smiley. Excellently put together; I especially got a kick out of the "In popular culture" section.

@heyitsspiderman: Into the Spider-Verse, gen, 27,392 words, rated T.

Summary: @heyitsspiderman: people act like they know this city but when i’m in the air i find more boroughs all the time. so far ive counted ten. dont listen to big brother in your ceiling (google) telling you otherwise (google maps)

Rec notes: Marvelously put together work where the various Spider-people figure out how to text between their dimensions and end up in a group chat together. Also, Miles is on Twitter! The coding on this must have taken so much work. The character voices are dead on (I especially enjoy Noir in this,) and the way the plot comes in while sticking to the text/Tweet/etc. format is extremely clever.

[harryseyebrows]

give me your experience in full detail about harry’s show... i need to mentally prepare myself for msg

1. there is nothing that can prepare you for the moment he first comes on stage. its indescribable. we spend so much time on here reblogging pictures and videos and interacting with content about or surrounding harry, that you can sometimes lose touch with the actual human person who its all for and about. but when you see him, its just.... amazing. theres not a strong enough word for it. and to be in a room where everyone is feeling that way? the palpable excitement and joy?? you can feel it in your blood

2. i know this point has been exhausted by anyone and everyone, but he is truly meant to be a performer. we knew this from when he was in 1d but nothing will ever touch him being on his own. you can tell that having the band up there makes him feel more comfortable, and given how much he interacts with them and makes them a part of the show, you know that him doing his ~solo stuff~ is not about trying to hog the spotlight. he’s a self-proclaimed narcissist, but dont be fooled; harry styles is a ham but he’s not selfish or arrogant. he still needs his support group, he still needs to be able to shard a bond with the people he performs with so that he can be confident and comfortable, and try to afford them the same. he works the stage like its the only thing he’ll ever do, giving it 110% with the most genuine adoration for his audience that ive seen from anyone, ever. he doesnt just wave blindly or make grand sweeping gestures. he looks at people, really looks at people, and tries to make a connection with individual people in a room full of thousands. im pretty sure if he had the time to do that with every single person, he would. he’s chatty and loves to joke, talking to people like theyre old friends, and just for a moment, he turns the dynamic between fan and celebrity on its head. he’s hardly ever still, moving and bopping along like he’s in his own little world, but that world also happens to house the audience and everyone else in the room. youre standing there, 1 of thousands of people, and you can feel like youre one-on-one with him. he’s just incredibly personable and good-natured. and then when he’s not being a professional nice young man, he’s exploding with energy and utilizing the entire stage and all of his limbs. ‘born for it’

3. he’s so funny. he’s goofy and charming and not afraid to be weird or awkward, and its just really admirable, to see him up there, clearly having a great time, laughing and smiling. i loved seeing the more ~private~ moments between him and the band, if anything can be considered private when performing. but he’s constantly grinning at them and making faces, sharing silent jokes or saying things in passing that we cant hear. and of course, you never quite know whats gonna come out of his mouth next when he spots someone or something that earns his attention from the audience. he pokes fun at people but he also pokes fun at himself. it’s just nice. comfortable, even, when he talks to people from the crowd. if youre in the back and out of range for what he can see, and he can make you feel like the only two people there, i cant even begin to imagine what it must be like when he has his laser beam focus on you, directly. 

4. his voice is incredible. all of the little runs and ad-libs that he does are great. i remember reading a quote from a while ago, when he was still in 1d, and someone had said that harry has a great ear and that harmonies and other such things come really easy to him. and i always think about that when i hear him sing live, whether in concert or in a video. the tone quality of his voice is so beautiful, even when its being amplified to crazy decibels. you can tell he puts his whole heart and soul into every song he sings, whether its a slow one like mmith or the absolute banger that is kiwi. and its so fun to hear his renditions of old 1d songs -- the arrangements are so good and its so nice to hear those songs with just his voice. sott is still just That Song™ and hearing it live is something that stays with you forever. 

5. THE OUTFIT. when the screen went up, i was so excited to simply see him that i wasnt even thinking about ‘oh what is he wearing’ until about 5 minutes in when i realized that i was no other than harris reed. harry has always marched to the beat of his own drum, and we’ve poked fun at his fashion sense for years, from the toe-revealing brown boots, to the double plaid button downs. and it wasnt really until the white gucci floral suit that, in my opinion, he started to really come out of his fashion shell in a big, loud, in your face way. its been so interesting to watch him experiment over the years with different trends, different styles, different vibes, etc. but now he’s still just as adventurous, if not MORE, but in a really refined and arguably more cohesive way. because while all of his outfits are different and wild, the unpredictability and diversity make up a category all on their own; they common thread among them is that they’re all so unique. and while we might not like every single look or every single suit, no one can deny that he’s going out there and putting his own stamp on the men’s fashion world. look at the number of little boys who adore him and put on printed suits to be like him. what he’s doing matters. and he looks so comfortable and so in his element when he’s on stage, wearing whatever flowy or glitter ensemble thats on the docket for that evening, prancing around and looking like he doesnt have in care in the world that his trousers are flared and he has a giant silky bow around his neck. i love that he appreciates new and adventurous designs, and it really pays tribute to his character that he supports different designers, like harris reed, whos still in school and is getting the recognition he deserves, 100% on his own merit but also because harry helped boost his platform. harry is doing his own thing, doing the whole glitz and glamour performance thing, but none of it feels cheap or over the top. its just right and really reflects his personality and style. go on with ur bad self, harry.

6. the butt. what can i say? its now an element of the show. she’s plump and proud. he worked hard to get her where she is and she deserves to be showed off. like two beautiful melons draped in fabric, whether it be a solid color, black, a print, or glitter. she does it all. and she does it well. AND shes au natural. no fat transfers here. just smooth, firm but also pleasantly supple, muscle and butt meat. surely youve heard of all you can eat buffets, but his butt takes it to a whole new level. that is a multi-course meal and then some. the glass of water you have when you wake up in the morning, parched and in need of something to help your dry mouth; breakfast, something healthy but still delicious... some thick maple and brown sugar oatmeal; lunch, a perfectly toasted grilled cheese with tomato soup; dinner, some top sirloin steak because you need some MEAT, accompanied by potatoes and another less starchy vegetable, perhaps a green bean?; dessert, cake of course. and all the snack in between. delicious. 

[michaelmalloryfanfic-blog]

fic update: o thou, destroyer named - chapter v

they are like two wounded animals, circling one another, waiting to see who will strike first

. millory au .

post links:

chapter i // chapter ii // chapter iii // chapter iv // chapter v // chapter vi // chapter vii // chapter viii // chapter ix //

ao3 links:

chapter i // chapter ii // chapter iii // chapter iv // chapter v // chapter vi // chapter vii // chapter viii // chapter ix //

chapter summary:

Time to call Zaddy Zatan! Also I know I said Mead would be in this chapter but it was taking too long to get through this part. Next time. It's short but I promise, it felt like fucking dying trying to write this part.

a/n:

guess which bitch knows how to use google translate! fun times. anyway latin is fucked. this ain't beta'd and super short but I had to finish grad school apps. I'll get around to beta-ing this chapter eventually. Aaaaaaallllsooooooooo. So I know that in the show, Michael calls his zaddy on the phone like...right after his interview with Mallory but just pretend that its happening now. You know I’m a dumbass who can’t remember shit right? You think I give a fuck????Also. I’ve finally got an end to this fic and lemme tell you, I can’t wait to emotionally ruin someone’s day.

With a soft tug of the hand he has in his grasp, Mallory rises to her feet. Even in her black, sensible heels she barely reaches his shoulders when standing. Her hand in his own is completely encompassed. She is such a tiny thing. He tucks her hand into the crook of his arm with a careful tenderness that she thought him incapable of. It is as though he was handling a porcelain doll.

Michael had always been fascinated with dolls. Once, when he was still small and able to be manhandled, Constance had taken him to a toy store and he had instantly gravitated towards the brightly colored figures. Their tiny smiling faces matched with their impassive, lifeless eyes, they felt somehow familiar. But it was their smallness that had enraptured him, how easily they fit in his hand. He wanted to touch every part of them, run his fingers over their smooth, blushed cheeks, feel the sleekness of their artificial hair. Something that would hold still and let him pour over it, let him devour it.

But Constance would have none of that. She had shaken the precious thing from his greedy hands. When he resisted she had delivered a swift, teeth-clattering slap to his face. It had shocked him so thoroughly that he did not even cry out. Constance espoused something about him being “goddamned queer” then she had yanked him out of the store.

They enter the darkness of Outpost 3 and Michael takes the lead. The ink blackness of the hallways are an ocean and Michael is a shark. He moves without hesitation, Mallory tries to keep up. Once or twice, she trips over her feet. Ever the part-time gentleman, Michael pauses whens he stumbles and waits patiently for her to gather herself. Everytime, she glances up at his apologetically but he never returns her glance. He is focused on the journey forward.

It takes them five more minutes of walking before a faint glow comes into view illuminating the end of the hall where it turns both left and right. The light comes from the right and when they turn the corner a door comes into view. The door they come to is like many of the doors in Outpost 3, tall, pitch black, with shiny golden door knobs. On both sides, a candle with in a simple glass fixture around it had been lit. Mallory has passed doors like these many times in the past year without much notice but this door, she is certain she’s never seen this particular door for above it there are words, carved ominously into the stone wall and painted in black.

Homo homini lupus

Mallory reads over the words over and over. The Boundary in her head burns and grows brittle at the sight so she turns away from the words above the door. It is Michael who disentangles their arms. He takes her hand in his own, again so gentle it turns her stomach and places it at her side. Then he opens the door.

The first thing that Mallory notices when they enter the room is the heat. The door leads into a short, narrow anteroom and from there it opens into a blazing circular chamber. The room is crowded with candles. They line the walls, are placed here and there on the floor along the perimeter. Besides that, the room was empty. It is so bright and warm beyond the door that it is almost unbearable at first. Mallory has only known darkness and cold for over a year now and all this heat and light makes her feel feverish. Her skin crawls and she hesitates to enter. Langdon enters at once with ease. He has no fear of the light. Michael glances back only once to smile that secret smile at her.

“So skittish of the light, Mallory darling,” he says over his shoulder. “Come here, you fickle creature. Come to me.”

And she goes to him. Not just because he calls her a creature or darling but also because she is suddenly aware of how cold she is. She feels so utterly cold and not just now or during the year she’s spent in Outpost 3. She’s been cold her entire life. Mallory isn’t stupid she knows that there is something missing in her. She thinks that something must have been taken from her and left her a Mallory is like a wind-up toy that was built missing a sprocket and though she can still walk around, sing her tune, the bulbs all light up but something just doesn’t click.

Harmatia, whispers the thing in her mind and Mallory pushes it down.

She passes through the doorway, the Latin words passing overhead. She makes quick work of the antechamber and to her surprise, she finds Langdon undressing. He stands in the center of the room with his back to her. First is his long, black coat. As he works the fine dark buttons, he speaks.

“Did you know that years before the initial bombfall, this place used to be a boy’s boarding school,” he says still facing away from her.

He observes the room as he finishes with his buttons. The chamber is about ten feet in diameter and it has a ceiling so high that it is lost in darkness even with all the light down below.

“The rooms you’ve been sleeping in, the kitchen, the lounges, they all used to be part of the school.”

“Is it normal to have a school underground?” Mallory drones, years of working for the young, rich, and vapid has made her adept at meaningless small-talk.

“Don’t ask stupid questions. You know it isn’t.”

He shrugs off his coat and it falls to the floor.

“What kind of school was it?” she replies, unperturbed by his admonishment.

She stares at his coat on the floor, crumpled and dejected. Years working as a personal assistant to wealthy socialites has given her a discerning eye. It’s obviously an expensive piece, well-made, expensive cotton but he tosses it off as though it is nothing. Mallory considers picking it up, folding it neatly over her arm and waiting patiently aside for him to continue. It’s a compulsion. Coco had been a thoughtless, messy individual but she also hated mess. She’d undress in a hurry, tossing designer and couture pieces about only to turn around and vehemently ask Mallory why her John Galliano gown was on the floor. However, Langdon gives no indication that he expects to pick up his coat or anything else.

“A finishing school of sorts,” he says as he starts on his shirt, the cuffs, which is as fine and dark as his coat. “It was very exclusive, clandestine .”

“A big, black cylinder sticking out of the ground in bumbfuck California reads as clandestine to you?”

That causes him pause and he twists his upper body just a bit to look at her fully. His mouth is a pressed, straight line and he arches one eyebrow. For a second, she thinks he’s going to admonish her again maybe even hit her. Towards the end, the Purples had become less squeamish about physical displays of displeasure. She had seen, more than once, a Grey laid out on the floor by a Purple. End of the world will do that to people. But, he is impassive only for a second then a wicked grin splits his mouth and he laughs.

“It isn’t exactly subtle is it?” he says once he done laughing at her. “But then again, I wasn’t consulted when they were drawing up the blueprints.”

Mallory is a little taken aback. For some reason, laughing just didn’t seem to be something he was even capable of doing. Her surprise must show on her face because he laughs a little harder after seeing her. He seems younger than the gruesome figure who had first arrived in Outpost 3 a few days ago. When he had first arrived, he had been singular. A grim emissary, Death riding in on his horse. But now she is watching as his eyes crinkle at the edges as he smiles at her. He looks like a boy. How old is he really? Early twenties, maybe mid. They could be the same age.

“Do you know what this particular room was used for?” He doesn’t wait for her answer. “Disciplinary action.”

He shoulders his left sleeve off and then the right. This too is dropped to the floor besides the coat.

“You saw the plaque above the door? Do you know what it means? I don’t imagine they offer high school level Latin in Nowhere. Homo homini lupus, Man is a wolf to man.”

From his pocket, he produces a knife. It fits perfectly in his hand and he opens it slowly. The blade is strange, rounded and black. Its finish is matte, like charcoal in the candlelight.

“Man is a wolf to man,” he repeats and turns to face her, knife in his right hand.

This is the point that anyone with an ounce of self preservation should know to make a run for it.

“A fancy way to say, ‘dog eat dog’.”

He’s still smiling when he plunges the knife into his left wrist and Mallory’s jaw drops. He drags the blade up until a red line splits his arm all the way up his bicep. Then the blood begins the pour from the gash. It’s so red and bright against his golden skin. It falls like water, so quickly that she thinks that this cannot be real, this cannot be right. He hardly seems to notice and gives the other arm the same treatment.

This fucked up. Mallory knows this. This. Is. Fucked. And she should be horrified. She should scream or run, do something other than gape at the sight of him, arm bathed almost entirely in red and dripping, his eyes like alight with a kind of frantic energy. And yet, she doesn’t feel or do any of these things. Her breathing is labored and her heart rate has picked up and yet, she feels somewhat at east. Something about all that blood, she’s drowning in it. She’s not anywhere near afraid. No, she's fascinated.

He begins to speak.

“O pater foedus impius, Et meas, quas fudi sanguinem meum, in gloriam.”

The air thickens as he falls to his knees.

“Corpus iacentis ad pedes.”

Spreading his arms out wide, palms to the floor, he begins to bow. His head dipping low.

“Mea est anima tua.”

With that, he is completely folded in on himself. His arms are stretched out in front of him, bloody palms laying flat against the stone floor. Though not especially muscular, Langdon is certainly on the taller side. His shoulders are wide. He cuts an imposing figure but now he is laid out before her. It is strange to see such a large man made to seem so small and humbled.

Silence falls and Mallory is vaguely aware that perhaps Langdon may be in trouble. His body is still, blood still seeping out of him. It drips onto the floor. The human body can only lose so much blood before it’s K.O. She knows she should do something. Pressure on the wound. Elevate the limbs. But then, something rumbles through the room, not a sound, not even a physical feeling. It is something in the soul and growls. Her stomach drops. He begins to speak again but this time is different. His voice is harsh, nearly cracking. He is impassioned.

“Audi me, Pater. Audi fili tuorum fidelium. Quaerite me sapientia tua et ductu peregit opus in hac hora mea. Invoco te. Invoco te.”

The air seems to go still. What was once a room crackling with energy, is suddenly drained.

“Invoco te,” he demands.

As soon as the words leave his mouth, all the flames of the candles flare. They climb up to nearly a foot tall then roll back down. His head snaps up, eyes completely dark. She gasps. His mouth drops open as if he is stunned as well. He is seeing something beyond her.

“Father?” he says like a child.

The flames flare once more, higher than before and Mallory shields her face from the heat. A gust of wind rushes past her and then she is floating in darkness.

“Langdon?”

Nothing. Every candle has been extinguished and she had been plunged into pitch darkness. Her first instinct is to turn back towards the antechamber. If she can make it to the door, there should still be light outside. She turns and reaches out, trying to find a wall, the door, anything but her hands find nothing. She steps forward and slips. She hits the floor hard and cries out. A warm, metallic taste blooms in her mouth. Her tongue teeth ache. The floor is wet, sticky beneath her hand. She knows what it is. The smell hits her and the taste is in her mouth. Mallory closes her eyes and tries to concentrate. She remembers the candles on the wall, the candles on the floor. In her mind, she reaches out.

Please. Please.

Invoco te, whispers the thing in her head and she feels warmth seep into her.

Not from the blood. The blood has gone cold at this point, congealing beneath her hands and knees. It’s something else. Like the sun, like a fire. It is blooming in her chest like someone has breathed hotly between her breasts.

“Invoco te,” she whispers and opens her eyes to light.

Not blazing and bright like before, only a few candles have been lit but it’s enough to see the outline of the door in front of her. It is enough to see the blood on the floor. She crawls forward a little ways, she’s halfway through the antechamber when she looks back.

She could leave him. He is laid out on his side, facing away from her, completely still. There’s not much hope left for him. He’s close to being, if not already, bled out. He’s a lost cause. There’s no point.

Leave him. Let him die. Homo homini lupus.

But Mallory is no wolf. She is thinking of his eyes and how they crinkle at the sides. She is thinking of his mouth and how it smiles crooked. Of his laugh. Of his perfect face that is so boyish when unburdened by whatever grand role he is playing. She thinks of the way he said father.

Mallory slips and stumbles to her knees. She tries to stand but she quickly Her hands are covered in dark blood. Her knees and shins are even worse but she crawls forward.

“Langdon,” she hisses at him. “You have to get up.”

From where she’s standing, Mallory can’t tell if he’s still breathing.

“Michael?”

Her arms and legs wobble as she crawls forward. The potential that he’s dead is becoming more and more likely. The floor is slick beneath her but she continues forward. He’s less than a foot in front and she can see him clearly even in the dim light. His chest rises and falls and Mallory’s breath catches in her throat. Then it happens again and she bursts forward.

“Michael, can you hear me,” she takes his shoulders in her hand and after some effort turns him over into her lap. “We have to put pressu-”

The wounds are gone. There’s no trace of the long gashes he’d inflicted on himself other than the blood. The blood, it’s everywhere. On her dress, across his chest. His head is in her lap, somehow his hair, even coated in blood, is beautiful. The gold in it still shines true. They are a dark red pieta.

“Did you see?” he whispers.

Mallory is still dumbfounded that she missed his question. His hand on her arm is what shakes her out of her stupor. He is gazing up at her now. His eyes are back to their normal blue, so clear. He lifts his hand from her arm to ghost his fingers over her face streaking her red. Mallory balks. The bitter smell of blood fills her nose and turns her stomach.

“Did you see him, Mallory? My father?”

He sounds like a fevered child and even more so when he laughs at the sight of her face.

“It looks like you’re crying, tears of blood,” he murmurs as his eyes begin to flutter. “Don’t cry, Mallory.”

He sighs and his eyes roll back into his head.

“Help,” she whispers though her voice barely carries.

“Someone please help us.”

Aaaaaaand. yarp. It's fanfic writing month! so I'm gonna try to bust out as many chapters as possible for you guys. My goal is an update a week (not including this chapter). So drop me a line. I know I seem glib but honestly, your comments are the only thing keeping me going so lemme know yall are out there, yeah?

Next time:

Mead gets her say.

[deadinsidedressage]

Im very fascinated with your views on the "fat acceptance" movement. Ive seen you bring it up here and there over the years. Did you ever make a big post on it?

I’ve never like really made a post about it? I did at one point find a blog post from a heavier rider that dressagetoday or someone shared which I then added a critical commentary which is SOMEWHERE in my blog (where, who knows? what tags did I use, who knows? DID I EVEN USE TAGS???). Which I was at the time disappointed no one wanted to engage on. I can certainly share with you my thoughts though (which I will do below) and you can definitely hit me with the follow-up questions if anything isn’t clear or you want some elaboration or hell you want to start an internet fight:I’ll preface all of this with being perfectly candid about my own body, weight, and struggle both of those. I am currently overweight. I have lost about 25 pounds in the last few months and am on a trajectory to continue to lose weight until I reach something that is healthy, sustainable, and enables me to do all the stuff I want to do. I have been my “goal body” before, I have been a little heavy, and I have been fucking fat. Part of how I became “fucking fat” is related to my own deeply ingrained issues with my body and my weight (which I picked up from my mom!) leading to body dysmorphia— which as I explain to people: “I didn’t notice the weight gain because to me, I have always looked this heavy”. I also struggle with disordered eating, thankfully not a fully adopted eating disorder but still elements of restricting, binge eating, purging, and overall not at all having a healthy relationship with eating. I have been working on that! I have been doing a lot better too! So, blah blah in short on my own personal issues— I am fully and painfully aware of all the negatives that you face if you are even remotely “fat”. I am fully and painfully aware that my very unhealthy relationship with my body, with weight, and with eating probably is a great influencer on how I feel about the fat acceptance/body positive movement. I am fully and painfully aware of how a diet culture and an unhealthy emphasis on  beauty standards can impact children for the rest of their life. I am fully and painfully aware that there is a great need for some sort of movement that focuses on body positivity and loving yourself. All that being said, I think the fat acceptance movement is in the same camp as radfems, TERFS, MRAs, militant atheism, militant veganism, PETA, and so on. Essentially, there was a good idea that got taken way too far. The idea that women (or men) shouldn’t be judge for their weight as it relates to their jobs or their social interactions is great and I am behind that. Yes, it’s ridiculous that overweight women are the least likely to be hired in a filed of job candidates because of assumptions about their laziness or tidiness. Yes, it’s ridiculous that overweight men are immediately rejected as potential love interests because people assume they must be unclean and unmotivated. Supporting a movement to stop those things? Good! Supporting the ideas that there’s zero effect on your health if you’re overweight and that if someone discounts you as a love interest because you weight an great deal more than that person means that person is the devil? Boo! Not good! I think body positivity is great. I think size inclusive fashion is great. What I don’t think is great is the encouragement to maintain very unhealthy weights because “you can be a fat goddess!”. The reality of it is, excess fat will impact your health to some degree (obviously depending on how overweight you are). Excess fat will also impact your ability to pursue hobbies (again, the degree to which is related to the degree of overweight). Excess fat can inhibit your ability to be successful in your job (again, depending on your specific weight and ALSO not related to desk jobs: i.e.— an overweight ER nurse is impeded by their weight because they are slower, an overweight preschool teacher can be impeded by their weight because it limits their ability to move around with kids; like clearly if there is any level of activity to your job and you are overweight you are likely impeded in SOME degree even if the level of impediment is only in how much pain or discomfort you are in when you go home).  I just think it’s ballistic that there are people who will argue that being 400+ lbs isn’t related to their heart disease or their diabetes or their need for knee replacements— but that’s what this movement has created. It’s created a bunch of health deniers who choose to believe that the only negative impact of their weight comes from how people perceive them— which they in turn have done a great job of turning any form of unpleasant or less than ideal interaction with someone as an example of “fatphobia” or fat discrimination. My other main issue with the fat activism is the amount of entitlement it breeds. Men and women suddenly think they are entitled to being found attractive by someone and that if that person is not attracted to them it is FATPHOBIC! Of course a lot of these people also would deny any potential partner who is fat— because even though they love their body and their is nothing wrong with their weight, they’re still only attracted to fit guys BUT if those fit guys aren’t attracted to them it is because they are EVIL. Which, as someone who is getting married to the person I’ve been with for 7 years… if you whittle down relationships to just the aesthetic or the physical then you are too emotionally stunted to be in a healthy relationship. Plus, if you are incapable of realizing the degree to which mutual physical attraction IS a real part of relationships then you’re a fucking idiot. You simply cannot demand everyone find you attractive regardless of how you look— that’s just not how humans work. And I’m not saying fat people are automatically hideous, I’m saying “Some people want to fuck Brad Pitt and vomit at James Corden but some people want to fuck James Corden and vomit at Brad Pitt AND EVEN THEN some people vomit at both & some people want to fuck both.” There’s a lot of fake self-acceptance that goes on in that movement because if you do not love yourself enough to stop throwing yourself at people who are not interested in you then you are NOT accepting of your size. These people want to find love in spite of their size, not just find love— and that’s the fucking issue. When you paint your whole emotional identity around the thing that makes you feel less than, then you are not capable of honestly having healthy human interactions. Here’s a little fun anecdote for you to ponder as to what I mean about how these people act in very self-deceptive way and in a very scape-goat-everyone-else-for-your-own-unhappiness way: All of my bridesmaids are tall Amazonian goddesses (they’re all still shaped differently and they all have their own insecurities because they’re humans). My maid of honor though, is not. She is shorter than I am and heavier than I am by a good deal. Because I do not want anyone to feel like they don’t look good or whatever, I am trying to be as on top of making sure everyone feels as comfortable as possible (while still adhering to the aesthetic of my wedding). This means late night stress induced googling of “one of my bridesmaids is plus sized??” hoping to get some insights from other brides about how the fuck you manage that person’s feelings without it becoming a Thing. This has lead to the bemused reading of some absolute fucking horror stories including: a bridesmaid telling the bride that the bride is only losing weight to make her look bad, a bridesmaid purchasing a dress behind the bride’s back after the bride painstakingly found a designer that would make above 5X and would be flattering only to have the bridesmaid call the bride selfish for not letting her wear what she wants, OH AND— A BUNCH OF FUCKING ARTICLES FROM “FAT POSITIVE” WOMEN LAMENTING HOW MUCH OF A BITCH THEIR FRIEND WHO THEY WERE A BRIDESMAID FOR WAS FOR “MAKING THEM LOOK BAD” BY BEING A THIN BRIDE OR HAVING A LOT OF THE WEDDING PARTY BE “THIN” OR FOR GETTING ROBES AS GIFTS BUT APPARENTLY THE 3X ROBE DOESN’T FIT. All kinds of fucking garbage in which people who are very unhappy with themselves adopt such a defensive form of selfishness that they care more about how bad they feel than being supportive friends. Now, I am taking these all in and trying to do what I can to not have my MOH feel shitty. She’s also not a psychopath so I should be fine. But the point is— substituting a militant “anti-fitness” attitude for the crushing unhappiness you feel over your body doesn’t solve any issues. It just masks problems and enables you to continue to engage in unhealthy thought and action.