#ive. got through the first 4 parts of th first game

[soupsv0id]

Well ! I stopped playing th dual destinies because i am afraid of edgeworths 3d model; but i recently got the original ace attorney trilogy!!!! so I've been converting them into sonic characters again. !!!!!!!!!

. I will! simply convert every character into hedgehog until I find something better to do💥💥💥 💥💥💥

[jungxk]

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad​

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

x

4 years ago

x

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

x

x

x

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR 

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

x

x

x

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold. 

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

x

x

x

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

x

x

x

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

x

x

x

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces. 

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him. 

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed. 

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

[repentantsky]

5 Companies That Have Too Much Hype Around Them

Look, we all love our favorite games with a passion, and to an extent that’s fine, but when that passion becomes obsession and that obsession becomes forgetting our own moral compass for the sake of entertainment, it does feel like it’s gone too far. It’s one thing to love what a company releases, it’s completely another to ignore every problem they’ve ever had. Not all of the companies on this list have done horribly un-ethical things, but they’ve at least been anti-consumer, and the fact that people don’t question that enough has led to them sometimes, making horrible mistakes. I am RepentantSky, I love making lists that trash on things that are popular, and these are 5 companies, that have too much hype around them.

5. Nintendo

Already I can hear people getting angry, and in a way I get it. Nintendo is for many people the place where they either begin to play games, or the place they go to keep on playing them when everything else let’s them down, and of course, they put an end to the flipping video game crash of 1983, and no one else will ever be able to claim that from them. That’s all wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be critical of them. I’ve talked about a number of things they’ve done wrong before, so let me quickly run down the list of some of their anti-consumer practices. They, charge too much for remasters and ports, they don’t drop prices in games, they used to charge for fixing Joy-Cons and now completely deny it’s a problem for legal reasons, despite everyone pretty much having experienced drift, they haven’t been good at getting stock for their items in at least 20 years, and oh yeah, they sell all the content for a remake for $115 on the 3DS, the system and the fans that helped them get by while the Wii U was massively underperforming, all while handing owners of the, at the time, unproven Switch, free content. Nintendo has a tendency to still think like a toy company, and they even used that idea to present the Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy instead of a console when they first game to the West with it, but they aren’t a toy company, their a gaming company that also sells toys, just like everyone else. I get they’ve done amazing things, I own over 150 physical handheld games from them, and a ton of digital games besides, but when they start charging twice what they are worth for SD cards, while releasing games that absolutely won’t fit on the limited space of the Switch, and they simply don’t care when costumers complain, it’s time to at least question their motives.  

4. Bethesda

Boy I used to really rip on this company back when I posted lists on Facebook, but I haven’t done it in a while, so let’s do it again. Bethesda has absolutely spent at least the last 10 years lying to people, Todd Howard, has become famous for it, but I think I might have been the only person who wasn’t shocked when Fallout 76 was the disaster that it was. There were so many things wrong with that game, that I don’t even have time to go over every little thing, but lying, you know the thing that will get another company on this list very soon, was a big thing they did with the game. They promised at one point that they weren’t ever going to charge for items in the game that gave in-game benefits, and they did, allowing ammo and other items to be bought with real money for a time, they promised new, specialized servers if you paid for a yearly service that was way too expensive, and that wasn’t true because people found proof of things missing from what would have been a freshly made, private server, and there’s no excuse for that, games in early access do that correctly, and they aren’t, at least supposedly, even finished yet. I wish I could say that’s all they’ve done, but they also bullied an indie developer over their game Prey, a game they may have bullied the original developer for so they could get cheaper, but we’ll never know because they refused to comment on that when asked, they also refused to update their outdated game engine for years, which caused something they spent over a decade fixing, games releasing with glitches, some of them game breaking. Yet somehow, they have such a fan base that those who love their games will claim the glitches are just part of the charm. That kind of fierce loyalty led to Fallout 76, and even though we make jokes about it even now, the horse DLC from way back in the day, was an indication of everything they’ve done, including trying to charge for mods made for free, meant to be consumed for free, twice. Bethesda is a bad company and they do not care. 

3. Activision/Blizzard

You know one of the worst things Nintendo does that I didn’t really mention directly in the first entry, is limit the amount of time a product is available, instead of just letting it be there for consumption as long as it’s selling (that was what the toy company reference was about if it wasn’t clear). However, Activision/Blizzard are the Kings of doing this, as they not only limited things while they were in control of Destiny 2 to the point where you pretty much had to use real money to get everything, and never mind everything else they did to it, because we’d be here all day going through it all, but they also don’t support games as a service titles long enough for dedicated fans. Crash Team Racing Nitro fueled, is a prime example of this. People weren’t done with that game, and when fans thought for even a split second that an update was going to come to fix an issue, their hype (mine to) was so explosive, it was almost like we were getting a new game, but then nothing happened, because they didn’t care. A lot of companies that do yearly release titles as a service have this problem and nothing exemplified that more for Activision, than Skylanders, a series originally made off the back of Spyro, who didn’t even wait for a year to release new games, as technically between October 21st and November 20th of the year the first game came out, they released three of them, and I’m not even kidding. Two of them, were mobile games! You might have thought I was going to go after Call of Duty, for this, but that horse has been beaten to ground, somehow, more than Skylanders was. They also, for whatever reason, released each expansion on different generations console generations, at different months throughout Fall, like somehow the season of Fall, they needed a release every month, if not two, and so off they went. I didn’t even get into Blizzard, but all I need to say is “Blitzchung” and all the memories will likely come flooding back. There’s also the fact that in two separate years, after gaining massive profits, they dropped hundreds of employees, and hired more than they’d let go, but I guess that doesn’t really matter to some of you, because when they did it this year, with so little warning, most employees found out via the news articles about it, but we all made such a little stink this time around, it didn’t create any media buzz, so I guess that doesn’t matter, you’d all rather play flipping World of Warcraft, like better MMO’s don’t exist. 

2. CD Projekt Red

I know this one comes off a little more fresh in the mind, and they technically only lied about one game, but man, what a series of lies it was. Also, let’s be honest, one major game, does not a great developer always make. CDPR’s previous two Witcher games did exactly what the author of the books thought they would, and that was almost nothing in terms of making a serious impact, and the reason is, they are kind of bad. They aren’t the worst games out there, but there is a good reason why The Witcher 1 and 2 haven’t been ported and/or remastered, despite how important they are to the story of Witcher 3, and that’s because they both suck. Cyperpunk 2077, was in a lot of ways, them just going back to being the developer they were before, the BIG ONE happened. They lied about nearly everything in regards to the game, including how the main platforms where consumers were going to buy it, were actually running well. I made those references to Witcher 1 and  2 for a reason, although if I’m being honest, they actually look better than Cyberpunk did on day 0, and that’s completely unacceptable. The budget for CDPR was basically nothing for Witcher 1 and 2 combined to what Cyberpunk got, but they were so focused on the PC versions because PC ran the game better, somehow (like maybe because they didn’t try with consoles) and they missed glitches that were so bad, the game felt like it was still in beta, if not alpha upon release. The fact that they’ve only released eleven games in twenty-three years, and only two of them didn’t have The Witcher on them, should have told us all we need to know, and yet the game, even after returns, which was another massive screw-job that led to Cyberpunk being removed from the PlayStation store, still sold Sixteen million units, all because of hype, and because apparently, some people don’t care if they’re lied to. Do you want to know what the other game they released is besides a Witcher title? It was flipping Saints Row 2, a fun game, but also one that’s too goofy for it’s own good, and yet suddenly makes Cyberpunk’s release, make sense, because it was all a massive joke, and a parody of good, well running, open world games. CDPR needs to seriously do something, anything different, and never release a game in this poor of a state ever again.

1. Ubisoft

I put Ubisoft at number one for a damn good reason, and that reason is, that everyone seems to hate the company, but loves their games, and I don’t know why. They haven’t been the overall worst company on this list, although they are pretty bad, but the major problem they have, and have had for at least a decade is that none of their games have any identity, they are literally all the same game, with different coats of paint. Sure, an occasional gem sneaks through like Assassin’s Creed IV, but all of the rest of their games have the same visual style (although ACII does seem to be the base for which they create their art let’s be honest), the shooting mechanics they have in all the games that have guns, all feel exactly the same, which is something even Call of Duty manages to avoid most years (guess I took a shot at them anyways) and yet somehow, someway, I keep seeing people getting excited for their releases, and it doesn’t make any sense. Sure, they throw a celebrity actor in from time to time, and the artistic style they use does look pretty cool, but everything is always the same with them, every single time, no matter what it is, and they still keep making money. It doesn’t really make sense either, because a lot of developers do make games that are very similar feeling, see the Life is Strange team or much as well all loved them, Telltale Games, but at least those titles told extremely interesting stories, and developed their mechanics at least a little, which is something most companies do just on principal, but not Ubisoft. They throw out a few Tom Clancy games every time they talk about what their releasing, the Trials and AC games are still mostly a yearly experience, and I’ll say it again, their entire list of releases since at least 2013, the year the previous generation kicked off, have pretty much all been the same. It would be nice if they made more games like Child of Light, but despite the fact that their games will likely never be as popular as Call of Duty, they keep churning out same-y shooters hoping that one day, maybe just one day, they’ll create their own CoD, and it’s just not gonna happen. The saddest part of all is that when they announce something different, something fans have wanted for years, we get The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Remake, which was literally delayed because fans said they wouldn’t buy it unless some actual effort was put into making it, why is this company so popular that it can keep doing this, someone please explain it to me. 

And that’s my list, can you think of any other companies that are too hyped? Let me know in the notes below, hit me up with a follow if you like my content, and give me a reblog, I’d really appreciate it. Have a wonderful life!  

[rigelmejo]

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

[dbzebra]

☕️ OH YKNOW WHAT AT THAT NOTE? Talk about that dbs broly movie cuz yknow. That’s a hot topic of the ages that folk feel particularly really strongly about

ooooh ive been waiting for this one. We watched this together on discord so you know my general feelings but Im happy i got this ask lol.

putting this under read more cause it gets long 

The new movie that everyone seems to love and adore.... that I dont. It was a pretty middle of the ground, meh overrated af movie. Not bad, just nothing special. I enjoyed watching it sure, but not something I have an inkling to return to anytime soon if ever. It was just ‘there’ for me. 

First, I’ll say the good stuff. The visuals looked really pretty. Nobody was THAT out of character of the existing cast (save for the ending), which i feel weird to have to even mention it as a positive, but nothing really stood out to me as a defining moment for the little cast we had besides Goku’s “youre not a bad guy, i can tell” or w/e. SUPER SAIYAN 1 IS STILL GOAT. It looked soooo good in this movie i wish we couldve kept it the whole time instead of Blue. But i will say, Blue looked much better in this movie than the series. The darker-blue with the lighter blue eyes was a nice change from instead of the ugly bluish-green the series did. Also the aura looked better. Backgrounds like the ice area and even Planet Vegeta were amazing. Action was great too. little Bulla was cute. The OST i liked (the chanting really grew on me) and Blizzard is a banger i love that song. Oh and the aritisic license they took for the fusion scene with the reds and blues spiraling together was great

Anyway thats all the positives I have lmaoo

This film includes Minus and I already went in depth on why I hate Minus with a passion and why it’s the worst thing to come out of modern Dragon so yeah moving on. But the fact that they devoted screentime to Gokus backstory which ultimately served no purpose to the story of the film and couldve been used more valuably elsewhere. 

I said the action was good, and it was, but it almost too good. At times it was so fast to tell that was going on and really lessened the impact for me. Like when they went into the other dimension or whatever, Gogeta went blue and Broly went LSSJ (idc if the name is different name, itll always be legendary SSJ to me lmao) so ast it was a blink and you miss it moment. like what? those moments shouldve been given even a little bit of focus. 

Next the cast. Goku and Vegeta. AGAIN. snorefest. no Gohan, Piccolo is just there to show them the fusion, Goten and Trunks are still kids and look like babies (and Pilaf gang is with them which is another can of worms), no Android 17, who the series established as one of the top 4 fighters on Earth. 

Do we get any of that? Nope. Just the two Blue and Bluer fucking again and again I. dont. care. anymore. Their dynamic is so boring and played out id rather watch paint dry. It was fun in Buu Saga, hell it was even fun in GT, but DBS constantly forcing this dynamic and Vegeta as the second Main Character needs to fucking STOOOP. Toei and Toriyama has no idea how to further Vegeta’s character because theyre stuck in this infinite loop. 

Vegeta doesnt want to help Goku, he mentions Bulma and/or Trunks, Vegeta blushes, and then he decides to help. THAT HAPPENED LIKE SIX TIMES IN DBS ALONE. It happened in Buu saga as well, but it organically worked cause it was the first time but Bulma and Trunks were ALREADY DEAD/ABSORBED. The look on his face wasnt blushy or pouting for a gag, dude was legit shocked. I rag on Vegeta but he had some legit great moments in the early arcs and later parts of Buu Saga. Anyway im off track. They repeat that same exact character moment OVER AND OVER. cant tell you how many times we had “my Bulma, my bulla, my Trunks, my cabba” in the Tournament of Power alone, and this movie is no different.

DO SOMETHING ELSE FFS

Then we have Broly. ohhhhhh boooy Broly. if you can even call this version of him Broly. His backstory is kinda the same as original movie 8/Broly LSSJ, but its more tragic becuase according to most fans, if youre background is a sobstory, that equals better character. NO. sure it could, but that trope was so worn out so long ago I hate it. “waaa his life was bad, hes not a bad guy” bruh i dont care thats not Broly. just make an OC if you wanna do that. but nope. gotta use the marketing! (More on that later)

People like to criticize Z Broly as “he hates Goku cause he cried” or “all he says is Kakarot” which both are false. On the first point, Broly is a psychopath. He was stabbed as an infant and left to die along with Paragus cause he was too powerful. Then that same day Planet Vegeta explodes practically on top of them. The rest of his life hes basically either being controlled or on a rampage. So that one moment of peace is “ruined” by Goku in a sense cause he subconsciously associates that with Goku. On the second point, Broly was already mentally unstable and then nearly dying, getting caught in the explosion of a SECOND PLANET and then being frozen for seven years will fuck anyone up in the head. Z Broly in the original movie was sadistic af and he had a lot of memorable moments and lines that werent just screaming Kakarot, that Second Coming made him infamous for. 

New Broly is legit a man-baby. People talk about old Broly having no personality and this new version having a deep character, but I dont see it. He acts like a child when hes with Cheelai and Lemo and then once the fighting starts he doesnt say a single word but yell. SOUND FAMILIAR?? But he gets a pass because the canon police says so right??? fuck off. New Broly is boring. Im tired of trying to make the Saiyans into ThEyRe noT aLl BaD sEe The SaIyAns ArE AcTuAlLy GoOd!!!11111 ugh i hate it. keep Broly a psycho and keep Bardock a prick. even that guy that went with Buzz Lightyear I mean Paragus was a sweet guy who couldnt fight because of course he was. At least they kept Paragus being a prick when he killed him. Tho his death was lame. 

Cheelai’s overrated af. Shes just green bulma lmao. and the fact that they included the “big soft-spoken man gets mad and saves girl from drunk lowkey-rapey pervert” trope just had me roll my eyes like dude stop. Lemo was fine? Nothing against him but didnt do much for me either.

FUCK. FREEZA. i went over this one before too so ill be quick with this as well. I hate hate hate the fact that they brought him back not once but twice in DBS, but even worse that they left him alive to do whatever tf he wants including going back to mass murdering people and expanding his army again. Goku and Vegeta just LET HIM LIVE. Why tf did they go all out and attack Broly, but not Freeza? when one of them was fighting Broly th other easily could have taken out freeza but nope we need a token villain like Joker or Skeletor cause unoriginality. Even at the end, Gogeta does a full power blast to wipe Broly tf out, but when Freeza tries to kill Cheelai and Lemo (two innocent people, feelings on them aside) Gogeta basically just shakes his finger like nuh-uh! dont do that! and then he flies off. Just let this mfer die already im sick of seeing his ass. FUCK I HATE IT SO MUCH GFGFFGFGFGF

Lastly this movie is legitimately Dragon Ball Fanservice The Movie. 

Gogeta vs Broly, which the games have been doing since fucking 2003, is the main point of this film. Theres no originality whatsoever. Minus is discount Father of Goku special, and then its a mashup of Broly LSSJ and Fusion Reborn (both of which are superior movies imo). This creatively banrkupt shell of a franchise cant think of anything new, so they legit remake an old movie, through in fusions because that sells like hotcakes, and make the animation pretty because thats all that matters.

Imo, this movie, like 99% of Super, is all flash and flair but no substance at all. At least this movie looked nice. unlike the show. 

ok thats all i got lmao

[isslibrary]

New Library Material December 2019 - April 2020

Bibliography

Sorted by Call Number / Author.

155.9 T

Turkle, Sherry. Life on the screen : identity in the age of the Internet. New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, c. 1995. Introduction : identity in the age of the Internet -- pt. 1. The seductions of the interface -- A tale of two aesthetics -- The triumph of tinkering -- pt. 2. Of dreams and beasts -- Making a pass at a robot -- Taking things at interface value -- The quality of emergence -- Artificial life as the new frontier -- pt. 3. On the Internet -- Aspects of the self -- TinySex and gender trouble -- Virtuality and its discontents -- Identity crisis.

230 L

Lewis, C. S. (Clive Staples), 1898-1963, author. The C.S. Lewis signature classics. First Harpercollins Paperback Edition published 2001. Set contains 8 vols: 1)Mere Christianity; 2)The Screwtape Letters; 3)Miracles; 4)A Grief Observed; 5)The Great Divorce; 6)The Problem of Pain; 7)The Abolition of Man; 8)The Four Loves.

302 G

Gladwell, Malcolm, 1963- author. Talking to strangers : what we should know about the people we don't know. First edition. Introduction : "Step out of the car!" -- Part I. Spies and diplomats : two puzzles. Fidel Castro's revenge ; Getting to know der Führer -- Part II. Default to truth. The queen of Cuba ; The holy fool ; Case study : The boy in the shower -- Part III. Transparency. The Friends fallacy ; A (short) explanation of the Amanda Knox case ; Case study : The fraternity party -- Part IV. Lessons. KSM : what happens when the stranger is a terrorist? -- Part V. Coupling. Sylvia Plath ; Case study : The Kansas City experiments ; Sandra Bland. In this thoughtful treatise spurred by the 2015 death of African-American academic Sandra Bland in jail after a traffic stop, New Yorker writer Gladwell (The Tipping Point) aims to figure out the strategies people use to assess strangers-to "analyze, critique them, figure out where they came from, figure out how to fix them," in other words: to understand how to balance trust and safety. He uses a variety of examples from history and recent headlines to illustrate that people size up the motivations, emotions, and trustworthiness of those they don't know both wrongly and with misplaced confidence.

305.42 G

Gates, Melinda, 1964- author. The moment of lift : how empowering women changes the world. Introduction -- The lift of a great idea -- Empowering mothers: maternal and newborn health -- Every good thing: family planning -- Lifting their eyes: girls in schools -- The silent inequality: unpaid work -- When a girl has no voice: child marriage -- Seeing gender bias: women in agriculture -- Creating a new culture: women in the workplace -- Let your heart break: the lift of coming together -- Epilogue.

306.3 A

Anderson, S. E. (Sam E.). The Black holocaust for beginners. Reprint ed. Danbury, CT : For Beginners LLC, c1995.

306.36 H

Hurston, Zora Neale, author. Barracoon : the story of the last "black cargo" First edition. Foreword : Those who love us never leave us alone with our grief: reading Barracoon: the story of the last "black cargo" / by Alice Walker -- Introduction -- Barracoon : Preface -- Introduction -- The king arrives -- Barracoon -- Slavery -- Freedom -- Marriage -- Kossula learns about law -- Alone -- Appendix : Takkoi or Attako: children's game ; Stories Kossula told me ; The monkey and the camel ; Story of de Jonah ; Now disa Abraham fadda de faitful ; The lion woman -- Afterword and additional materials / edited by Deborah G. Plant -- Founders and original residents of Africatown -- Glossary. "In 1927, Zora Neale Hurston went to Plateau, Alabama, just outside Mobile, to interview eighty-six-year-old Cudjo Lewis. Of the millions of men, women, and children transported from Africa to America as slaves, Cudjo was then the only person alive to tell the story of this integral part of the nation's history. Hurston was there to record Cudjo's firsthand account of the raid that led to his capture and bondage fifty years after the Atlantic slave trade was outlawed in the United States. In 1931, Hurston returned to Plateau, the African-centric community three miles from Mobile founded by Cudjo and other former slaves from his ship. Spending more than three months there, she talked in depth with Cudjo about the details of his life. During those weeks, the young writer and the elderly formerly enslaved man ate peaches and watermelon that grew in the backyard and talked about Cudjo's past--memories from his childhood in Africa, the horrors of being captured and held in a barracoon for selection by American slavers, the harrowing experience of the Middle Passage packed with more than 100 other souls aboard the Clotilda, and the years he spent in slavery until the end of the Civil War. Based on those interviews, featuring Cudjo's unique vernacular, and written from Hurston's perspective with the compassion and singular style that have made her one of the preeminent American authors of the twentieth-century, Barracoon masterfully illustrates the tragedy of slavery and of one life forever defined by it. Offering insight into the pernicious legacy that continues to haunt us all, black and white, this poignant and powerful work is an invaluable contribution to our shared history and culture."--Publisher's website.

342.73 C

The Founding Fathers & Paul B. Skousen. The Constitution & The Declaration of Independence. Salt Lake City, UT : Izzardink, 2016; 2017.

342.73 P

The Know your Bill of Rights book. First edition. United States : Oculus Publishers, Inc, 2013.

364.1 H

Hate crimes. 1. Hate as part of society : -- Defining hate -- What we investigate -- FBI releases 2018 hate crime statistics -- Learn more about hate crimes -- The U.S. finally made lynching a Federal crime -- Hate-crime violence its 16-year high, FBI reports -- Mail bombs, hate crimes, and he meaning of terrorism -- 2. Causes and responses : -- Entering an era of rising hate crimes -- Trump and racism: what do the data say? -- American Islamophobia in the age of Trump: the global war on terror, continued? -- Steve Scalise: don't blame Trump for mass shootings -- Did counties hosting a Trump rally in 2016 see a 226% spike in hate crimes? -- "We need to evolve": police get help to improve hate crime tracking -- The FBI's new approach to combating domestic terrorism: straight talk -- Congressman Serrano and Senator Casey introduce the Stop Hate Act to address the rise in hate crimes through social media -- 3. Hate laws and the Constitution : -- The limits of Free Speech -- Is the cure of censorship better than the disease of hate speech? -- The limits of Free Speech for White Supremacists marching at the Unite the Right 2, explained -- Hate speech and hate crime -- the El Paso shooting revived the Free Speech debate. Europe has limits -- Portland considers Antimask Law aimed at Antifa violence -- Free Speech can be messy, but we need it -- Should we treat domestic terrorists the way we treat ISIS? -- 4. Prevention, outreach, and training : -- Schools as safe places for learning -- Hate crime in America policy summit -- Hate in schools: an in-depth look -- Political correctness and anti-Jewish bias mar first draft of California's Ethnic Studies curriculum -- Justice Department commemorates 10th anniversary of Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr., Hate Crimes Prevention Act -- 5. The role of the media and big tech : -- The connected society -- How Journalists cover mass shootings: research to consider -- In Congressional hearing on hate, the haters got their way -- A campus murder tests Facebook clicks as evidence of hate -- The media botched the Covington Catholic story -- Hate speech on social media: global comparisons -- How Big Tech can fight White Supremacist terrorism: it has the tools- it just needs to use them.

364.15 K

Kantor, Jodi, 1975- author. She said : breaking the sexual harassment story that helped ignite a movement. The first phone call -- Hollywood secrets -- How to silence a victim -- "Positive reputation management" -- A company's complicity -- "Who else is on the record?" -- "There will be a movement" -- The beachside dilemma -- "I can't guarantee I'll go to DC" -- Epilogue: The gathering. For many years, reporters had tried to get to the truth about Harvey Weinstein's treatment of women. Rumors of wrongdoing had long circulated. But in 2017, when Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey began their investigation into the prominent Hollywood producer for the New York Times, his name was still synonymous with power. During months of confidential interviews with top actresses, former Weinstein employees, and other sources, many disturbing and long-buried allegations were unearthed, and a web of onerous secret payouts and nondisclosure agreements was revealed. These shadowy settlements had long been used to hide sexual harassment and abuse, but with a breakthrough reporting technique Kantor and Twohey helped to expose it. But Weinstein had evaded scrutiny in the past, and he was not going down without a fight. He employed a team of high-profile lawyers, private investigators, and other allies to thwart the investigation. When Kantor and Twohey were finally able to convince some sources to go on the record, a dramatic final showdown between Weinstein and the New York Times was set in motion. Nothing could have prepared Kantor and Twohey for what followed the publication of their initial Weinstein story on October 5, 2017. Within days, a veritable Pandora's box of sexual harassment and abuse was opened. Women all over the world came forward with their own traumatic stories. Over the next twelve months, hundreds of men from every walk of life and industry were outed following allegations of wrongdoing. But did too much change -- or not enough? Those questions hung in the air months later as Brett Kavanaugh was nominated to the Supreme Court, and Christine Blasey Ford came forward to testify that he had assaulted her decades earlier. Kantor and Twohey, who had unique access to Ford and her team, bring to light the odyssey that led her to come forward, the overwhelming forces that came to bear on her, and what happened after she shared her allegation with the world.

512 A

Lead authors: John A. Carter, Ph.D., Gilbert J. Cuevas,Ph.D., Roger Day, Ph.D., NBCT, Carol Malloy, Ph.D.; Program Authors: Dr. Berchie Holliday, Ed.D., Ruth Casey, Dinah Zike, Jay McTighe; Lead Consultant: Viken Hovsepian. Algebra 2. Glencoe/McGraw-Hill Education, 2012. Columbus, OH : McGraw-Hill Companies, c. 2012.

612 B

Bryson, Bill, author. The body : a guide for occupants. First U.S. edition. How to build a human -- The outside: skin and hair -- Microbial you -- The brain -- The head -- Down the hatch: the mouth and throat -- The heart and blood -- The chemistry department -- In the dissecting room: the skeleton -- On the move: bipedalism and exercise -- Equilibrium -- The immune system -- Deep breath: the lungs and breathing -- Food, glorious food -- The guts -- Sleep -- Into the nether regions -- In the beginning: conception and birth -- Nerves and pain -- When things go wrong: diseases -- Then things go very wrong: cancer -- Medicine good and bad -- The end. "Bill Bryson, bestselling author of A Short History of Nearly Everything, takes us on a head-to-toe tour of the marvel that is the human body. As compulsively readable as it is comprehensive, this is Bryson at his very best, a must-read owner's manual for everybody. Bill Bryson once again proves himself to be an incomparable companion as he guides us through the human body--how it functions, its remarkable ability to heal itself, and (unfortunately) the ways it can fail. Full of extraordinary facts (your body made a million red blood cells since you started reading this) and irresistible Bryson-esque anecdotes, The Body will lead you to a deeper understanding of the miracle that is life in general and you in particular. As Bill Bryson writes, "We pass our existence within this wobble of flesh and yet take it almost entirely for granted." The Body will cure that indifference with generous doses of wondrous, compulsively readable facts and information"--. "From the bestselling author of A SHORT HISTORY OF NEARLY EVERYTHING, a head-to-toe tour of the marvel that is the human body"--.

801.95092

Barish, Evelyn, 1935-. The double life of Paul de Man. First Edition.

812.54 K

Kushner, Tony. Angels in America : Part One and Two. 2007. London : Nick Hern Books, 2007. Reprinted 2015. pt. 1. Millennium approaches -- pt. 2. Perestroika.

812.54 W

Williams, Tennessee, 1911-1983. The glass menagerie. New Directions Book. New York, NY : New Directions Publishing, 1999. The embattled Wingfield family: Amanda, a faded southern belle, abandoned wife, dominating mother, who hopes to match her daughter with an eligible "gentleman caller;" Laura, a lame and painfully shy, she evades her mother's schemes and reality by retreating to a world of make-believe; Tom's sole support of the family, he eventually leaves home to become a writer but is forever haunted by the memory of Laura. The only single edition now available of this American classic about a mother obsessed with her disabled daughter.

812.6 B

Barron, Clare, author. Baby screams miracle. A freak storm knocks down all the trees in town and brings a prodigal daughter rushing home. But has she come for reconciliation? Or as an angel of vengeance? A comic new play about love, forgiveness and family struggling to operate in a relentlessly chaotic and violent world.

812.6 D

DeLappe, Sarah, author. The wolves : a play. 1st ed. "The Wolves follows nine teenage girls as they warm up for their indoor soccer games. From the safety of their suburban stretch circle, the team navigates big questions and wages tiny battles with all the vim and vigor of a pack of adolescent warriors. As the teammates warm up in sync, a symphony of overlapping dialogue spills out their concerns. By season's and play's end, amidst the wins and losses, rivalries and tragedies, they are tested and ready--they are The Wolves." -- Back cover.

822.914 B

Butterworth, Jez, author. The ferryman. Revised edition. Rural County Armagh, Ireland, 1981. The Carney farmhouse is a hive of activity with preparations for the annual harvest. A day of hard work on the land and a traditional night of feasting and celebrations lie ahead. But this year they will be interrupted by a visitor.

940.54 L

Larson, Erik, 1954- author. The splendid and the vile. First edition. Bleak Expectations -- The Rising Threat -- A Certain Eventuality -- Dread -- Blood and Dust -- The Americans -- Love Amid the Flames -- One Year to the Day -- Epilogue. "The #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Devil in the White City and Dead Wake delivers a fresh and compelling portrait of Winston Churchill and London during the Blitz On Winston Churchill's first day as prime minister, Hitler invaded Holland and Belgium. Poland and Czechoslovakia had already fallen, and the Dunkirk evacuation was just two weeks away. For the next twelve months, Hitler would wage a relentless bombing campaign, killing 45,000 Britons. It was up to Churchill to hold the country together and persuade President Franklin Roosevelt that Britain was a worthy ally-and willing to fight to the end. In The Splendid and the Vile, Erik Larson shows, in cinematic detail, how Churchill taught the British people "the art of being fearless." It is a story of political brinkmanship, but it's also an intimate domestic drama set against the backdrop of Churchill's prime-ministerial country home, Chequers; his wartime retreat, Ditchley, where he and his entourage go when the moon is brightest and the bombing threat is highest; and of course 10 Downing Street in London. Drawing on diaries, original archival documents, and once-secret intelligence reports-some released only recently-Larson provides a new lens on London's darkest year through the day-to-day experience of Churchill and his family: his wife, Clementine; their youngest daughter, Mary, who chafes against her parents' wartime protectiveness; their son, Randolph, and his beautiful, unhappy wife, Pamela; Pamela's illicit lover, a dashing American emissary; and the cadre of close advisers who comprised Churchill's "Secret Circle," including his lovestruck private secretary, John Colville; newspaper baron Lord Beaverbrook; and the Rasputin-like Frederick Lindemann. The Splendid and the Vile takes readers out of today's political dysfunction and back to a time of true leadership, when-in the face of unrelenting horror-Churchill's eloquence, courage, and perseverance bound a country, and a family, together."--.

940.54 P

Purnell, Sonia, author. A woman of no importance : the untold story of the American spy who helped win World War II. The dream -- Cometh the hour -- My tart friends -- Good-bye to Dindy -- Twelve minutes, twelve men -- Honeycomb of spies -- Cruel mountain -- Agent most wanted -- Scores to settle -- Madonna of the mountains -- From the skies above -- The CIA years. "The never-before-told story of one woman's heroism that changed the course of the Second World War In 1942, the Gestapo sent out an urgent command across France: "She is the most dangerous of all Allied spies. We must find and destroy her." This spy was Virginia Hall, a young American woman--rejected from the foreign service because of her gender and her prosthetic leg--who talked her way into the spy organization dubbed Churchill's "ministry of ungentlemanly warfare," and, before the United States had even entered the war, became the first woman to deploy to occupied France. Virginia Hall was one of the greatest spies in American history, yet her story remains untold. Just as she did in Clementine, Sonia Purnell uncovers the captivating story of a powerful, influential, yet shockingly overlooked heroine of the Second World War. At a time when sending female secret agents into enemy territory was still strictly forbidden, Virginia Hall came to be known as the "Madonna of the Resistance," coordinating a network of spies to blow up bridges, report on German troop movements, arrange equipment drops for Resistance agents, and recruit and train guerilla fighters. Even as her face covered WANTED posters throughout Europe, Virginia refused order after order to evacuate. She finally escaped with her life in a grueling hike over the Pyrenees into Spain, her cover blown, and her associates all imprisoned or executed. But, adamant that she had "more lives to save," she dove back in as soon as she could, organizing forces to sabotage enemy lines and back up Allied forces landing on Normandy beaches. Told with Purnell's signature insight and novelistic panache, A Woman of No Importance is the breathtaking story of how one woman's fierce persistence helped win the war"--.

943.086 B

Bergen, Doris L., author. War and genocide : a concise history of the Holocaust. Barnes & Noble, 2007. Preconditions : antisemitism, racism, and common prejudices in early-twentieth century Europe -- Leadership and will : Adolf Hitler, the National Socialist German Workers' Party, and Nazi ideology -- From revolution to routine : Nazi Germany, 1933-1938 -- Open aggression : in search of war, 1938-1939 -- Experiments in brutality, 1939-1940 : war against Poland and the so-called euthanasia program -- Expansion and systemization : exporting war and terror, 1940-1941 -- The peak years of killing: 1942 and 1943 -- Death throes and killing frenzies, 1944-1945.

946.9 H

Hatton, Barry, 1963- author. Queen of the sea : a history of Lisbon. "Lisbon was almost somewhere else. Portuguese officials considered moving the city after it was devastated by what is believed to be the strongest earthquake ever to strike modern Europe, in 1755, followed by a tidal wave as high as a double-decker bus and a six-day inferno that turned sand into glass. Lisbon's charm is legendary, but its rich, 2,000-year history is not widely known. This single-volume history provides an unrivaled and intimate portrait of the city and an entertaining account of its colourful past. It reveals that in Roman times the city was more important than initially thought, possessing a large theatre and hippodrome. The 1147 Siege of Lisbon was a dramatic medieval battle that was a key part of the Iberian reconquista. As Portugal built an empire spanning four continents, its capital became a wealthy international bazaar. The Portuguese king's cort©·ge was led by a rhinoceros which was followed by five elephants in gold brocade, an Arabian horse and a jaguar. The Portuguese were the world's biggest slavers, and by the mid-16th century around 10 percent of the Lisbon's population was black, imbuing the city with an African flavour it has retained. Invasion by Napoleon's armies, and the assassination of a king and the establishment of a republic, also left their marks. The city's two bridges over the River Tagus illustrate the legacy of a 20th-century dictator and Portugal's new era in Europe."--Publisher's description.

955.05 I

Iran. Detroit : Greenhaven Press, 2006. Presents all sides to several issues concerning Iran, including debates about global security, human rights, and nuclear weapons.

973.092

Chernow, Ron. Alexander Hamilton. Prologue: The Oldest Revolutionary War Widow -- The Castaways -- Hurricane -- The Collegian -- The Pen and the Sword -- The Little Lion -- A Frenzy of Valor -- The Lovesick Colonel -- Glory -- Raging Billows -- A Grave, Silent, Strange Sort of Animal -- Ghosts -- August and Respectable Assembly -- Publius -- Putting the Machine in Motion -- Villainous Business -- Dr. Pangloss -- The First Town in America -- Of Avarice and Enterprise -- City of the Future -- Corrupt Squadrons -- Exposure -- Stabbed in the Dark -- Citizen Genet -- A Disagreeable Trade -- Seas of Blood -- The Wicked Insurgents of the West -- Sugar Plums and Toys -- Spare Cassius -- The Man in the Glass Bubble -- Flying Too Near the Sun -- An Instrument of Hell -- Reign of Witches -- Works Godly and Ungodly -- In an Evil Hour -- Gusts of Passion -- In a Very Belligerent Humor -- Deadlock -- A World Full of Folly -- Pamphlet Wars -- The Price of Truth -- A Despicable Opinion -- Fatal Errand -- The Melting Scene -- Epilogue: Eliza. Ron Chernow tells the story of a man who overcame all odds to shape, inspire, and scandalize the newborn America. Few figures in American history have been more hotly debated or more grossly misunderstood than Alexander Hamilton. Chernow's biography argues that the political and economic greatness of today's America is the result of Hamilton's countless sacrifices to champion ideas that were often wildly disputed during his time. Chernow here recounts Hamilton's turbulent life: an illegitimate, largely self-taught orphan from the Caribbean, he came out of nowhere to take America by storm, rising to become George Washington's aide-de-camp in the Continental Army, coauthoring The Federalist Papers, founding the Bank of New York, leading the Federalist Party, and becoming the first Treasury Secretary of the United States. Historians have long told the story of America's birth as the triumph of Jefferson's democratic ideals over the aristocratic intentions of Hamilton. Chernow presents an entirely different man, whose legendary ambitions were motivated not merely by self-interest but by passionate patriotism and a stubborn will to build the foundations of American prosperity and power. His is a Hamilton far more human than we've encountered before -- from his shame about his birth to his fiery aspirations, from his intimate relationships with childhood friends to his titanic feuds with Jefferson, Madison, Adams, Monroe, and Burr, and from his highly public affair with Maria Reynolds to his loving marriage to his loyal wife Eliza. And never before has there been a more vivid account of Hamilton's famous and mysterious death in a duel with Aaron Burr in July of 1804.

973.921 W

Wicker, Tom. Dwight D. Eisenhower. First edition. New York : Times Books, 2002. An American hero at the close of World War II, General Dwight Eisenhower rode an enormous wave of popularity into the Oval Office seven years later. Though we may view the Eisenhower years through a hazy lens of 1950s nostalgia, historians consider his presidency one of the least successful. At home there was civil rights unrest, McCarthyism, and a deteriorating economy; internationally, the Cold War was deepening. But despite his tendency toward "brinksmanship," Ike would later be revered for "keeping the peace." Still, his actions and policies at the onset of his career, covered by Tom Wicker, would haunt Americans of future generations.

976.1 K

Kennedy, Peggy Wallace, author. The broken road. The bridge -- In the beginning -- Romance in the air -- Coming home -- The race -- Into the darkness -- The broken road -- You got what you wanted -- The victory is ours -- 1963 -- Picture perfect -- A storm's a-comin' -- Success is to succeed -- Dynasty -- For you -- Stand up -- Things just change -- Buckle my shoes -- The book of lamentations -- 'Til death do us part -- In tents -- Testify, brother Wallace! -- Stepping down -- Benched -- The end of an era -- Doors -- Letters from Baghdad -- Back to the bridge. "From the daughter of one of America's most virulent segregationists, a memoir that reckons with her father George Wallace's legacy of hate -- and illuminates her journey towards redemption. Peggy Wallace Kennedy has been widely hailed as the 'symbol of racial reconciliation' (Washington Post). In the summer of 1963, though, she was just a young girl watching her father stand in a schoolhouse door as he tried to block two African-American students from entering the University of Alabama. This man, former governor of Alabama and presidential candidate George Wallace, was notorious for his hateful rhetoric and his political stunts. But he was also a larger-than-life father to young Peggy, who was taught to smile, sit straight, and not speak up as her father took to the political stage. At the end of his life, Wallace came to renounce his views, although he could never attempt to fully repair the damage he caused. But Peggy, after her own political awakening, dedicated her life to spreading the new Wallace message -- one of peace, penance, and compassion. In this powerful new memoir, Peggy looks back on the politics of her youth and attempts to reconcile her adored father with the man who coined the phrase 'Segregation now. Segregation tomorrow. Segregation forever.' Timely and timeless, The Broken Road speaks to change, atonement, activism, and racial reconciliation"--.

977 McC

McCullough, David G., author. The pioneers : the heroic story of the settlers who brought the American ideal west. First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition. The Ohio country -- Forth to the wilderness -- Difficult times -- Havoc -- A new era commences -- The Burr conspiracy -- Adversities aplenty -- The cause of learning -- The travelers -- Journey's end. "Best-selling author David McCullough tells the story of the settlers who began America's migration west, overcoming almost-unimaginable hardships to build in the Ohio wilderness a town and a government that incorporated America's highest ideals"--.

92 O'Connor

Thomas, Evan, 1951- author. First : Sandra Day O'Connor. Prologue -- Lazy B -- Stanford -- The golden couple -- Majority leader -- Arizona judge -- The President calls -- Inside the Marble Palace -- Scrutiny -- FWOTSC -- Cancer -- A woman's role -- Civil religion -- Bush v. Gore -- Affirmative action -- End game -- Labor of love. "Based on exclusive interviews and access to the Supreme Court archives, this is the intimate, inspiring, and authoritative biography of America's first female Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor--by New York Times bestselling author Evan Thomas. She was born in 1930 in El Paso and grew up on a cattle ranch in Arizona. At a time when women were expected to be homemakers, she set her sights on Stanford University. When she graduated near the top of her class at law school in 1952, no firm would even interview her. But Sandra Day O'Connor's story is that of a woman who repeatedly shattered glass ceilings--doing so with a blend of grace, wisdom, humor, understatement, and cowgirl toughness. She became the first-ever female majority leader of a state senate. As a judge on the Arizona State Court of Appeals, she stood up to corrupt lawyers and humanized the law. When she arrived at the Supreme Court, appointed by Reagan in 1981, she began a quarter-century tenure on the court, hearing cases that ultimately shaped American law. Diagnosed with cancer at fifty-eight, and caring for a husband with Alzheimer's, O'Connor endured every difficulty with grit and poise. Women and men today will be inspired by how to be first in your own life, how to know when to fight and when to walk away, through O'Connor's example. This is a remarkably vivid and personal portrait of a woman who loved her family and believed in serving her country, who, when she became the most powerful woman in America, built a bridge forward for the women who followed her"--. At a time when women were expected to be homemakers, Sandra Day O'Connor set her sights on Stanford University. When she graduated near the top of her class at law school in 1952, no firm would even interview her. She became the first-ever female majority leader of a state senate, a judge on the Arizona State Court of Appeals, and arrived at the Supreme Court in 1981 to begin a quarter-century tenure on the court. Thomas provides a vivid and personal portrait of a woman who loved her family, believed in serving her country, and built a bridge forward for the women who followed her. -- adapted from jacket.

ACT Manual

Stern, David Alan. Acting with an accent : a step-by-step approach to learning dialects. Lyndonville, VT : Dialect Accent Specialists, c1979-1987. [v. 1.] Standard British -- [v. 2.] Cockney -- [v. 3.] New York City -- [v. 4.] American Southern -- [v. 5.] Irish -- [v. 6.] Scottish -- [v. 7.] Spanish -- [v. 8.] Italian -- [v. 9.] French -- [v. 10.] German -- [v. 11.] Russian -- [v. 12.] Yiddish -- [v. 13.] Texas -- [v. 14.] Boston -- [v. 15.] Down east New England -- 16. Upper class Massachusetts or "Kennedy-esque" -- [v. 17.] Chicago -- 18. Mid-west farm/ranch -- 19. Polish -- [v. 20.] Arabic -- [v. 21.] Farsi (Persian) -- [v. 22.] Norwegian & Swedish -- [v. 23.] West Indian & Black African -- [v. 24.] British north country -- [v. 25.] Australian. Step-by-step instruction and practice in learning to speak English in various domestic and foreign dialects.

DVD For

Forbidden Hollywood collection. Turner Classic Movies Archives. Burbank, CA : Turner Entertainment Company and Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc. Disc 1: Other Men's Women; The Purchase Price. Disc 2: Frisco Jenny; Midnight Mary. Disc 3: Heroes for Sale; Wild Boys of the Road. Disc 4: Wild Bil: Hollywood Maverick; The Men Who Made the Movies: William A. Wellman. Other men's women: Grant Withers, Regis Toomey, Mary Astor, J. Farrell MacDonald. The purchase price: Barbara Stanwyck, George Brent, Lyle Talbot. Frisco Jenny: Ruth Chatterton, Louis Calhern. Midnight Mary: Loretta Young, Ricardo Cortez, Franchot Tone, Andy Devine. Heroes for sale: Richard Barthelmess, Aline MacMahon, Loretta Young, Gordon Westcott. Wild boys of the road: Frankie Darro, Dorothy Coonan, Rochelle Hudson, Edwin Phillips. Wild Bill: Hollywood maverick - narrator, Alec Baldwin. Disc 1: Other men's women: Bill and Jack are railroad men. When Bill comes to stay with Jack and his wife, Bill and Lily fall in love. Jack confronts Bill about his suspicions and the two fight, leaving Jack seriously injured. The purchase price: Joan Gordon is a singer tiring of her relationship with Eddie. She flees to North Dakota to become a mail-order bride. Happiness is threatened by her stubborn husband, a lecherous neighbor and the appearance of Eddie. Disc 2: Frisco Jenny: Jenny was orphaned by the 1906 earthquake and fire and has gone on to become the madame of a prosperous bawdy house. After putting her son up for adoption, he becomes a district attorney dedicated to closing down such houses. She kills an underling who wants her son dead and is now facing execution. Midnight Mary: A mistaken arrest, a prison term, and lack of employment leads to a young woman's involvement with gangsters. In a brothel she meets a wealthy lawyer who falls in love with her. He helps her turn her life around, but her past catches up with her. Now she is on trial for murder. Disc 3: Heroes for sale: A man stands up during a WWI battle and becomes a hero, but he doesn't get the credit. He becomes injuried and soon gets hooked on morphine, causing him to fall apart when he returns home. He eventually marries, but soon the Depression hits. Wild boys of the road: Tom and Ed are high school students whose parents, thanks to the Depression, have lost their jobs. Wanting to help make money, they set off on the rails looking for work. They finally end up in New York and Ed thinks he might have foud a job. Disc 4: Wild Bill: Explores the life and directorial times of William A. Wellman. The men who made the movies: Wellman shares many stories and speaks bluntly of the producers with who he has worked and describes his remarkable star-making and star-spotting abilities. He was responsible for helping actors win Oscars and discovered such notable actors as James Cagney and Gary Cooper.

DVD Gra

The grapes of wrath. [DVD version includes: commentary by Joseph McBride and Susan Shillinglaw; prologue from British version; Biography. Darryl F. Zanuck : twentieth century filmmaker; 3 drought reports from 1934 Movietone news newsreels; outtakes; still gallery; featurette entitled Roosevelt lauds motion pictures at Academy fete; restoration comparison; English and Spanish tracks and subtitles]. Henry Fonda (Tom Joad); Jane Darwell (Ma Joad); John Carradine (Casy); Charley Grapewin (grandpa); Dorris Bowdon (Rosasharn); Russell Simpson (Pa Joad); O.Z. Whitehead (Al); John Qualen (Muley); Eddie Quillan (Connie); Zeffie Tilbury (grandma); Frank Sully (Noah); Frank Darien (Uncle John); Darryl Hickman (Winfield); Shirley Mills (Ruth Joad); Roger Imhof (Thomas); Grant Mitchell (caretaker); Charles D. Brown (Wilkie); John Arledge (Davis); Ward Bond (policeman); Harry Tyler (Bert); William Pawley (Bill); Charles Tannen (Joe); Selmar Jackson (inspection officer); Charles Middleton (leader); Eddie Waller (proprietor); Paul Guilfoyle (Floyd); David Hughes (Frank); Cliff Clark (city man); Joseph Sawyer (bookkeeper); Frank Faylen (Tim); Adrian Morris (agent); Hollis Jewell (Muley's son); Robert Homans (Spencer); Irving Bacon (Roy); Kitty McHugh (Mae); Arthur Aylesworth (father); Norman Willis, Lee Shumway, Frank O'Connor, Tom Tyler, Harry Cording, Ralph Dunn, Paul Sutton, Pat Flaherty, Dick Rich (deputies); Mae Marsh (Muley's wife); Herbert Heywood (gas station man); Harry Strang (Fred); Walter Miller (border guard); Gaylord Pendleton, Ben Hall, Robert Shaw (gas station attendants); George O'Hara (clerk); Thornton Edwards (motor cop); Russ Clark, James Flavin, Philip Morris, Max Wagner (guards); Trevor Bardette (Jule); Jack Pennick (committee man); Walter McGrail (leader of gang); William Haade (deputy driver); Ted Oliver (state policeman); Gloria Roy (waitress); George Breakstone, Wally Albright (boys); John Wallace (migrant); Erville Alderson, Louis Mason, Shirley Coates, Peggy Ryan, Georgia Simmons, Harry Holden, Hal Budlong, John Binns, Harry Wallace, L.F. O'Connor, Cliff Herbert, Joe Bordeaux, Tyler Gibson, Leon Brace, Harry Matthews, Frank Newberg, Jack Walters, Bill Wolfe, Delmar Costello, Bill Worth, Frank Atkinson, James Welch, Charles Thurston, Jules Michaelson, Waclaw Rekwart, Sidney Hayes, E.J. Kaspar, D.H. Turner, David Kirkland, C.B. Steele, Frank Watson, Al Stewart, Henry Barhe, Scotty Brown, Charles West, Dean hall, Walton Pindon, Charles W. Hertzinger, W.H. Davis, Scotty Mattraw, Chauncey Pyle, Walter Perry, Billy Elmer, Buster Brodie, Barney Gilmore, Cal Cohen, Nora Bush, Jane Crowley, Eleanor Vogel, Lillian Drew, Cecil Cook, Helen Dean, Pearl Varvell, hazel Lollier, Emily Gerdes, Rose Plummer, Mrs. Gladys Rehfeld, Edna Hall, Josephine Allen.

DVD It

It happened one night. Full screen. [Culver City, Calif.] : Columbia Pictures ;, c2008. Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert, Walter Connolly, Roscoe Karns, Jameson Thomas, Alan Hale, Arhtur Hoyt. When her father threatens to annul her marriage to a fortune-hunting playboy, spoiled heiress Ellie Andrews hops a cross-country bus to New York, where she plans to live happily ever after with her handsome new hubby. Romantic complications soon arise, however, when she's befriended by fellow passenger Peter Warne, a brash and breezy reporter who offers his help in exchange for her exclusive story.

DVD Mar

The Marx brothers collection. Warner Brothers Home Video. Set includes: 1) A Night at the Opera; 2) A Day at the Races; 3) A night in Casablanca; 4) Room Service; 5) At the Circus; 6) Go West; 7) The Big Store.

DVD Sca

Scarface. Paul Muni, Ann Dvorak, Karen Morley, Osgood Pergkins, C. Henry Gordon, George Raft, Vince Barnett, Boris Karloff, Purnell Pratt. "An exciting story of organized crime's brutal control over Chicago during the prohibition era. This compelling tale of ambition, betrayal and revenge is a groundbreaking masterpiece that influenced all gangster films to follow."--Container.

DVD Swi

Swing time. DVD special edition. Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Victor Moore, Helen Broderick, Eric Blore, Betty Furness, Georges Metaxa. "In this irresistible musical, the legendary dancing duo Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are at the pinnacle of their art as a feckless gambler and the shrewd dancing instructor in whom he more than meets his match. Director George Stevens laces their romance with humor and clears the floor for the movie's showstopping dance scenes, in which Astaire and Rogers take seemingly effortless flight in a virtuosic fusion of ballroom and tap styles. Buoyed by beloved songs by Dorothy Fields and Jerome Kern--including the Oscar-winning classic 'The Way You Look Tonight'--Swing Time is an exuberant celebration of its stars' chemistry, grace, and sheer joy in the act of performance"--Container.

DVD Wil

Wild boys of the road. Warner Bros., Home Video, 1950s. In the depths of the Depression, two teenage boys strike out on their own in order to help their struggling parents and find life on the road tougher than expected.

EQUIP

Digital Voice Recorder : Multi-function stereo recorder. Olympus Model WS-852. Tokyo: : Olympus Corporation; Olympus America, Inc., PA, 2015.

F Cum

Cummins, Jeanine, author. American dirt. First U.S. edition. "También de este lado hay sueños. Lydia Quixano Perez lives in the Mexican city of Acapulco. She runs a bookstore. She has a son, Luca, the love of her life, and a wonderful husband who is a journalist. And while there are cracks beginning to show in Acapulco because of the drug cartels, her life is, by and large, fairly comfortable. Even though she knows they'll never sell, Lydia stocks some of her all-time favorite books in her store. And then one day a man enters the shop to browse and comes up to the register with four books he would like to buy-two of them her favorites. Javier is erudite. He is charming. And, unbeknownst to Lydia, he is the jefe of the newest drug cartel that has gruesomely taken over the city. When Lydia's husband's tell-all profile of Javier is published, none of their lives will ever be the same. Forced to flee, Lydia and eight-year-old Luca soon find themselves miles and worlds away from their comfortable middle-class existence. Instantly transformed into migrants, Lydia and Luca ride la bestia-trains that make their way north toward the United States, which is the only place Javier's reach doesn't extend. As they join the countless people trying to reach el norte, Lydia soon sees that everyone is running from something. But what exactly are they running to? American Dirt will leave readers utterly changed when they finish reading it. A page-turner filled with poignancy, drama, and humanity on every page, it is a literary achievement."--.

F Fre

Freudenberger, Nell. The dissident. 1st ed. New York : ECCO, c2006.

F Fre

Freudenberger, Nell, author. Lost and wanted. First Edition. "Told from the perspective of a female physicist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, a story that explores the nature of friendship, romantic love, and motherhood"--.

F Gla

Gladstone, Max, author. Full fathom five. First Trade paperback edition. "On the island of Kavekana, Kai builds gods to order, then hands them to others to maintain. Her creations aren't conscious and lack their own wills and voices, but they accept sacrifices, and protect their worshippers from other gods--perfect vehicles for Craftsmen and Craftswomen operating in the divinely controlled Old World. When Kai sees one of her creations dying and tries to save her, she's grievously injured--then sidelined from the business entirely, her near-suicidal rescue attempt offered up as proof of her instability. But when Kai gets tired of hearing her boss, her coworkers, and her ex-boyfriend call her crazy, and starts digging into the reasons her creations die, she uncovers a conspiracy of silence and fear--which will crush her, if Kai can't stop it first"--.

F Gla

Gladstone, Max, author. Last first snow. First Trade paperback edition. "Forty years after the God Wars, Dresediel Lex bears the scars of liberation--especially in the Skittersill, a poor district still bound by the fallen gods' decaying edicts. As long as the gods' wards last, they strangle development; when they fail, demons will be loosed upon the city. The King in Red hires Elayne Kevarian of the Craft firm Kelethres, Albrecht, and Ao to fix the wards, but the Skittersill's people have their own ideas. A protest rises against Elayne's work, led by Temoc, a warrior-priest turned community organizer who wants to build a peaceful future for his city, his wife, and his young son. As Elayne drags Temoc and the King in Red to the bargaining table, old wounds reopen, old gods stir in their graves, civil blood breaks to new mutiny, and profiteers circle in the desert sky. Elayne and Temoc must fight conspiracy, dark magic, and their own demons to save the peace--or failing that, to save as many people as they can"--.

F Gla

Gladstone, Max, author. Three parts dead. First Trade Paperback Edition. "A god has died, and it's up to Tara, first-year associate in the international necromantic firm of Kelethres, Albrecht, and Ao, to bring Him back to life before His city falls apart. Her client is Kos, recently deceased fire god of the city of Alt Coulumb. Without Him, the metropolis' steam generators will shut down, its trains will cease running, and its four million citizens will riot. Tara's job: resurrect Kos before chaos sets in. Her only help: Abelard, a chain-smoking priest of the dead god, who's having an understandable crisis of faith. When the dou discovers that Kos was murdered, they have to make a case in Alt Coulumb's courts--and their quest for the truth endangers their partnership, their lives, and Alt Coulumb's slim hope of survival."--from publisher's description.

F Gla

Gladstone, Max, author. Two serpents rise. First Trade paperback edition. "Shadow demons plague the city reservoir, and Red King Consolidated has sent in Caleb Altemoc--casual gambler and professional risk manager--to cleanse the water for the sixteen million people of Dresediel Lex. At the scene of the crime, Caleb finds an alluring and clever cliff runner, crazy Mal, who easily outpaces him. But Caleb has more than the demon infestation, Mal, or job security to worry about when he discovers that his father--the last priest of the old gods and leader of the True Quechal terrorists--has broken into his home and is wanted in connection to the attacks on the water supply. From the beginning, Caleb and Mal are bound by lust, Craft, and chance, as both play a dangerous game where gods and people are pawns. They sleep on water, they dance in fire ... and all the while the Twin Serpents slumbering beneath the earth are stirring, and they are hungry."--.

F Gla

Ruin of angels. First edition, 2017. New York, NY : Tor, c.2017. "The God Wars destroyed the city of Alikand. Now, a century and a half and a great many construction contracts later, Agdel Lex rises in its place. Dead deities litter the surrounding desert, streets shift when people aren't looking, a squidlike tower dominates the skyline, and the foreign Iskari Rectification Authority keeps strict order in this once-independent city--while treasure seekers, criminals, combat librarians, nightmare artists, angels, demons, dispossessed knights, grad students, and other fools gather in its ever-changing alleys, hungry for the next big score. Priestess/investment banker Kai Pohala (last seen in Full Fathom Five) hits town to corner Agdel Lex's burgeoning nightmare startup scene, and to visit her estranged sister Lei. But Kai finds Lei desperate at the center of a shadowy, and rapidly unravelling, business deal. When Lei ends up on the run, wanted for a crime she most definitely committed, Kai races to track her sister down before the Authority finds her first. But Lei has her own plans, involving her ex-girlfriend, a daring heist into the god-haunted desert, and, perhaps, freedom for an occupied city. Because Alikand might not be completely dead--and some people want to finish the job."--Amazon.com.

F Gri

Grisham, John, author. The guardians. First edition. In a small Florida town, a young lawyer, Keith Russo, is shot to death as he works late. A young black man, a former client, named Quincy Miller is charged and convicted. For 22 years, Miller maintains his innocence from inside prison. Finally, Guardian Ministries takes on Miller's case, but Cullen Post, the Episcopal minister in charge, gets more than he bargained for. Powerful people murdered Russo-- they do not want Miller exonerated, and will kill again without a second thought. -- adapted from info provided and jacket info.

F Hil

Hilderbrand, Elin, author. Summer of '69. First edition. Welcome to the most tumultuous summer of the twentieth century. It's 1969, and for the Levin family, the times they are a-changing. Every year the children have looked forward to spending the summer at their grandmother's historic home in downtown Nantucket. But like so much else in America, nothing is the same: Blair, the oldest sister, is marooned in Boston, pregnant with twins and unable to travel. Middle sister Kirby, caught up in the thrilling vortex of civil rights protests and, determined to be independent, takes a summer job on Martha's Vineyard. Only-son Tiger is an infantry soldier, recently deployed to Vietnam. Thirteen-year-old Jessie suddenly feels like an only child, marooned in the house with her out-of-touch grandmother and her worried mother, each of them hiding a troubling secret. As the summer heats up, Ted Kennedy sinks a car in Chappaquiddick, man flies to the moon, and Jessie and her family experience their own dramatic upheavals along with the rest of the country.

F Jen

Jenoff, Pam, author. The lost girls of Paris. Library Exclusive Edition. "From the author of the runaway bestseller The Orphan's Tale comes a remarkable story of friendship and courage centered around three women and a ring of female secret agents during World War II.1946, Manhattan. One morning while passing through Grand Central Terminal on her way to work, Grace Healey finds an abandoned suitcase tucked beneath a bench. Unable to resist her own curiosity, Grace opens the suitcase, where she discovers a dozen photographs--each of a different woman. In a moment of impulse, Grace takes the photographs and quickly leaves the station. Grace soon learns that the suitcase belonged to a woman named Eleanor Trigg, leader of a network of female secret agents who were deployed out of London during the war. Twelve of these women were sent to Occupied Europe as couriers and radio operators to aid the resistance, but they never returned home, their fates a mystery. Setting out to learn the truth behind the women in the photographs, Grace finds herself drawn to a young mother turned agent named Marie, whose daring mission overseas reveals a remarkable story of friendship, valor and betrayal. Vividly rendered and inspired by true events, New York Times bestselling author Pam Jenoff shines a light on the incredible heroics of the brave women of the war and weaves a mesmerizing tale of courage, sisterhood and the great strength of women to survive in the hardest of circumstances"--Publisher's description.

F Jen

Jenoff, Pam, author. The orphan's tale. Sixteen-year-old Noa, forced to give up her baby fathered by a Nazi soldier, snatches a child from a boxcar containing Jewish infants bound for a concentration camp and takes refuge with a traveling circus, where Astrid, a Jewish aerialist, becomes her mentor.

F Maa

Sharon Maas. The Girl from the Sugar Plantation. 23 Sussex Road, Ickenham, UB10 8PN, United Kingdom : Bookouture.

F Maa

Sharon Maas. The Violin Maker's Daughter. Carmelite House, 50 Victoria Embankment London EC4Y 0DZ : Bookouture, 2019.

F Maas

Sharon Maas. The Lost Daughter of India. 23 Sussex Road, Ickenham, UB10 8PN United Kingdom : Bookouture.

F Mak

Makkai, Rebecca, author. The great believers. "A dazzling new novel of friendship and redemption in the face of tragedy and loss set in 1980s Chicago and contemporary Paris, by the acclaimed and award-winning author Rebecca Makkai. In 1985, Yale Tishman, the development director for an art gallery in Chicago, is about to pull off an amazing coup, bringing in an extraordinary collection of 1920s paintings as a gift to the gallery. Yet as his career begins to flourish, the carnage of the AIDS epidemic grows around him. One by one, his friends are dying and after his friend Nico's funeral, the virus circles closer and closer to Yale himself. Soon the only person he has left is Fiona, Nico's little sister. Thirty years later, Fiona is in Paris tracking down her estranged daughter who disappeared into a cult. While staying with an old friend, a famous photographer who documented the Chicago crisis, she finds herself finally grappling with the devastating ways AIDS affected her life and her relationship with her daughter. The two intertwining stories take us through the heartbreak of the eighties and the chaos of the modern world, as both Yale and Fiona struggle to find goodness in the midst of disaster"--.

F McC

A Peirogon : a novel. First Edition. New York, NY : Random House, 2020.

F Mic

Michaelides, Alex, 1977- author. The silent patient. First International Edition. Alicia Berenson's life is seemingly perfect. A famous painter married to an in-demand fashion photographer, she lives in a grand house with big windows overlooking a park in one of London's most desirable areas. One evening her husband Gabriel returns home late from a fashion shoot, and Alicia shoots him five times in the face, and then never speaks another word. Alicia's refusal to talk or give any kind of explanation turns a domestic tragedy into something far grander, a mystery that captures the public imagination and casts Alicia into notoriety. The price of her art skyrockets, and she, the silent patient, is hidden away from the spotlight of the tabloids at the Grove, a secure forensic unit in North London. Theo Faber is a criminal psychotherapist who has waited a long time for the opportunity to work with Alicia. His search for the truth leads him down a terrifying path and threatens to consume him.

F Ng

Ng, Celeste, author. Little fires everywhere.

F Old

Older, Daniel José, author. The Book of Lost Saints. First edition. "The spirit of Marisol, who vanished during the Cuban Revolution, visits her nephew, Ramon, in modern-day New Jersey, and her presence prompts him to investigate the story of his ancestor, unaware of the forces driving him on his search"--.

F Rem

Remarque, Erich Maria, 1898-1970. The road back. Random House Trade Paperback Edition, 2013. New York, NY : Random House Publishing, 2013.

F Ser

Rebecca Serle. The Dinner List. First U.S. Edition, September 2018. New York, NY : Flatiron Books, 2018.

F Ser

Serle, Rebecca, author. In five years : a novel. First Atria Books hardcover edition. "A striking, powerful, and moving love story following an ambitious lawyer who experiences an astonishing vision that could change her life forever"--. "When Type-A Manhattan lawyer Dannie Cohan is asked this question at the most important interview of her career, she has a meticulously crafted answer at the ready. Later, after nailing her interview and accepting her boyfriend's marriage proposal, Dannie goes to sleep knowing she is right on track to achieve her five-year plan. But when she wakes up, she's suddenly in a different apartment, with a different ring on her finger, and beside a very different man. The television news is on in the background, and she can just make out the scrolling date. It's the same night -December 15 -but 2025, five years in the future. After a very intense, shocking hour, Dannie wakes again, at the brink of midnight, back in 2020. She can't shake what has happened. It certainly felt much more than merely a dream, but she isn't the kind of person who believes in visions. That nonsense is only charming coming from free-spirited types, like her lifelong best friend, Bella. Determined to ignore the odd experience, she files it away in the back of her mind. That is, until four-and-a-half years later, when by chance Dannie meets the very same man from her long-ago vision."--Publisher website.

F Van

Vanderah, Glendy, author. Where the forest meets the stars. First edition. A mysterious child teaches two strangers how to love and trust again. After the loss of her mother and her own battle with breast cancer, Joanna Teale returns to her graduate research on nesting birds in rural Illinois, determined to prove that her recent hardships have not broken her. When a mysterious child who shows up at her cabin, barefoot and covered in bruises, Joanna enlists the help of her reclusive neighbor, Gabriel Nash, to solve the mystery of the charming child. But the more time they spend together, the more questions they have. How does a young girl not only read but understand Shakespeare? Why do good things keep happening in her presence? And why aren't Jo and Gabe checking the missing children's website anymore? Though the three have formed an incredible bond, they know difficult choices must be made.

F Vuo

Vuong, Ocean, 1988- author. On earth we're briefly gorgeous : a novel. "Brilliant, heartbreaking, tender, and highly original - poet Ocean Vuong's debut novel is a sweeping and shattering portrait of a family, and a testament to the redemptive power of storytelling. On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born--a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam--and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity"--.

F Whi

Whitehead, Colson, 1969- author. The nickel boys : a novel. First edition.

[Fic]

Gladstone, Max, author. Four roads cross. First edition. "The great city of Alt Coulumb is in crisis. The moon goddess Seril, long thought dead, is back--and the people of Alt Coulumb aren't happy. Protests rock the city, and Kos Everburning's creditors attempt a hostile takeover of the fire god's church. Tara Abernathy, the god's in-house Craftswoman, must defend the church against the world's fiercest necromantic firm--and against her old classmate, a rising star in the Craftwork world. As if that weren't enough, Cat and Raz, supporting characters from Three Parts Dead , are back too, fighting monster pirates; skeleton kings drink frozen cocktails, defying several principles of anatomy; jails, hospitals, and temples are broken into and out of; choirs of flame sing over Alt Coulumb; demons pose significant problems; a farmers' market proves more important to world affairs than seems likely; doctors of theology strike back; Monk-Technician Abelard performs several miracles; The Rats! play Walsh's Place; and dragons give almost-helpful counsel."--Syndetics.

R 943.086

The Holocaust chronicle. Lincolnwood, Ill. : Publications International, Ltd, 2009; 2017. The Holocaust Chronicle, written and fact-checked by top scholars, recounts the long, complex, anguishing story of the most terrible crime of the 20th century. A massive, oversized hardcover of more than 750 pages, this book features more than 2000 photographs, many of which are in full color and most are published in book form for the first time. The 3000-item timeline of Holocaust-related events is unprecedented in its scope and ambition and detailed caption-text is rich with facts and human interest.

SC Rus

Russell, Karen, 1981- author. Orange world : and other stories. First edition. The prospectors -- The bad graft -- Bog girl: a romance -- Madame Bovary's greyhound -- The tornado auction -- Black Corfu -- The Gondoliers -- Orange world. "From the Pulitzer finalist and universally beloved author of the New York Times best sellers Swamplandia! and Vampires in the Lemon Grove, a stunning new collection of short fiction that showcases her extraordinary gifts of language and imagination"--.

SC Rus

Russell, Karen, 1981-. Vampires in the lemon grove : stories. 1st ed. New York : Alfred A. Knopf, 2013.

SC S

Smith, Zadie, author. Grand union : stories. The dialectic -- Sentimental education -- The lazy river -- Words and music -- Just right -- Parents' morning epiphany -- Downtown -- Miss Adele amidst the corsets -- Mood -- Escape from New York -- Big week -- Meet the President! -- Two men arrive in a village -- Kelso deconstructed -- Blocked -- The canker -- For the King -- Now more than ever -- Grand union. "A dazzling collection of short fiction, more than half of which have never been published before, from the multi-award-winning author of White Teeth and Swing Time Zadie Smith has established herself as one of the most iconic, critically-respected, and popular writers of her generation. In her first short story collection, she combines her power of observation and inimitable voice to mine the fraught and complex experience of life in the modern world. With ten extraordinary new stories complemented by a selection of her most lauded pieces for The New Yorker, The Paris Review, and Granta, GRAND UNION explores a wide range of subjects, from first loves to cultural despair, as well as the desire to be the subject of your own experience. In captivating prose, she contends with race, class, relationships, and gender roles in a world that feels increasingly divided. Nothing is off limits, and everything--when captured by Smith's brilliant gaze--feels fresh and relevant. Perfectly paced, and utterly original, GRAND UNION highlights the wonders Zadie Smith can do"--. In her first short story collection, Smith combines her power of observation and inimitable voice to mine the fraught and complex experience of life in the modern world. She explores a wide range of subjects, from first loves to cultural despair, as well as the desire to be the subject of your own experience. In the stories Smith contends with race, class, relationships, and gender roles in a world that feels increasingly divided. -- adapted from jacket.

[bn-adrian-mn]

Auto-Biography

I am Ben Adrian A. Omanio, 17 of age and is about to be 18 in the upcoming 30th of November. I was born way back in 2001 in Mary Cris Homes, Bucandala III, just a one barangay away from where I am living now. I grew up there till I got grade 9 in junior high and is now currently living in Camella, Lessandra in Bucandala IV. I used to play in the streets of Mary Cris Homes Phase 3 along with the kids of our neighbors all day long. I looked like a normal kid having his happy moments in the streets with his sweat dripping and making his chest and back looked really wet by the mark of sweat in his white sando. His shorts are just a mild wide so that he can move freely while wearing slippers with dirt inserted through his toenails. His hair all down because of sweat and runs around with his friends of his age by imitating movies, playing tumbang preso, taya-tayaan, tagu-taguan, etc. I am that one of those kids who enjoyed our childhood compared to the kids in this day where they are clumped inside their houses staring all day long to gadgets. Days passed, I stopped playing street games with my friends and so are they showing in the streets. Near the street is a basketball where all the big boys shows up and there I go playing along them. Instead of roaming around under the sun, I consumed my time beneath a covered court just running around the rectangles. I honed my skills everyday till I almost got the best out of my friends, but playing while there are audiences did get the best out of me. Whenever a liga is being held in the court, I participated their but just became a burden as the game pass because of my low esteem and negativity throughout the game. It is just being watched by the audiences lowers my confidence and so is my skills, thus I used too much oxygen and therefore I am exhausted in no time. I am self-taught in basketball because of my father who used to be an outstanding player cannot teach how to play because of old age. Even my first basketball shoes were too big for me that it made me look like McDonald’s clown just because I did not know how to pick shoes. My life kept on being like that, being a tiger in playing with friends but being a cat with playing for the crowd. Until I got to junior high where I have been putted to the highest section or should I call star section. Studying in a high giving grade private elementary school gave me the ticket to be on par to those who are studious. I strive my way to be not left by my classmates but after 4 years, I am still dependent. Though I am grateful for them because without being part of them, I am sure that I would not be here in my position confident to face tomorrow. Throughout my elementary years, I have a medal for honorable mention, but throughout my junior high for 4 years, for 4 years I did not clipped a single medal. Made it worst in our moving up ceremony where all my friends got a medal except me. So here I am still giving my best shot to claim not only the grade 11 year but also the grade 12 year with over 5 medals. And by achieving that, I think I will be able to survive College.

[1358456]

Review Response, June 16-22, 2019

Got a lot of stuff! ... Thanks to one person, mostly!

... Really missing those single line breaks...

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Wings #004

1) Heyo, I saw your responses to my reviews. I forgot my password when I read Wings and I didn't want to go through the whole resetting password thing, so I went in as a guest. I didn't really intend to come back to FanFiction, hence the random keyboard smashing username, yet here I am again to read your stories! Haha. I suppose I'll just keep my original username here.

Anyways, back onto the review! I really found this chapter to be amusing and engaging!

I should have realized Black was there! Rereading the last chapter, I missed the "loud" voice. Oops! And as much as I would love to see familiar faces meeting our lovely protagonist Y here, I like how you're going at a steady pace so the introductions won't be rushed. It makes the eventual meetings better, and I'd look forward to them more that way. (Highkey looking forward to Diamond to appear!)

Crystal as the soccer coach is so, so fitting. And the more I read about Y's struggles to do well, the funnier it gets when she fails due to her own recklessness or other people's mistakes. And when she had enough, she reminded me of a Rhyhorn stampeding through the field, bashing away any poor soccer players that were in her way. She's definitely going to join the soccer team now. ...the team is filled with hotheads.

Oh, hi Gold! Fancy seeing you here! I wonder if he's a teacher as well? Maybe another coach? ...is he and Crystal a thing yet? Asking for a friend.

Hey, you’re back to the old familiar ID! Hehehe.

Ah yes. Black’s inclusion was a subtle hint in the last chapter. The only hint being the italicized “loud”, indicating that he was in the soccer team somewhere. And yes. Y is going to be meeting the other familiar faces slowly over time. I mean, my favorite Dex Holder Platinum hasn’t even been mentioned yet, and it’s been 4 chapters. I’m taking things quite slowly in that regard, because it makes sense. A 1st year student is not going to be meeting all sorts of 2nd and 3rd year students right off the bat, you know? And oh yes. Diamond is definitely going to be in Wings. I think he’ll be the first Sinnoh Dex Holder that Y will meet.

Yep! Crystal as soccer coach! Definitely! And oh, Y. She’s like a rampaging Dragon when frustrated and pissed off, plowing through everything in her way, whether it’s her teammates or the opponent. Hehe. A soccer team filled with hotheads. Oh dear. Hahaha.

Nah. Gold is no teacher. What could he possibly be teaching in Wings? No, no. He’s there for a different reason that’ll be covered later. And yes, Gold and Crystal are in a relationship. They are “a thing”. Obviously it’s not going to be getting a whole ton of focus, but it’ll be there.

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Destiny #007

1) Its confirmed, eh? This entire thing was orchestrated by Peter. Not that I'm surprised, it's just nice to have clarity on that part. Anyways, I can definitely see Blue doing something she'll regret later. I mean if it says that Blue will probably help, then she just might. But I don't think she would help knowing it'd hurt the other dexholders. If she helps Peter it'd be because he somehow tricks her into doing it. But hmm, there's only one way to find out. And that's to read more chapters. Also, that small little tidbit about Black's feelings on the whole light stone matter I thought was really nice. I'm not exactly sure how, but it tied that entire part together. And it definitely made everything seem more real. I feel like I'm just being dramatic, but that's how I feel on the matter. And just wanted tp congratulate you on that part 'cause it was wonderful written. Well, the entire chapter was wonderfully written, but I can only hope you know what I mean. Speaking of Unova dexholders. That particular scene with Ruby, Sapphire, and White; I thought although great to read, was not how I imagined it going down. I think I explained this in one of my previous reviews, or at least predicted it. But now that I think about it, it's completely plausible. And one last thing before I end this review. I just realized that it's been quite some time since we've seen Green. Haven't read anything in his point of view since he found out that Blue left and set out to look for her. Which makes me wonder. Will you write his perspective while he's searching hopelessly for her? Or right before he spots her somehow? Cannot wait to see things from his perspective again! Makes my urge to smack him lessen. Fucking asshole, I know he didn't mean to do that especially in that way. But god was that a jerky move. Low-key wanna punch him senseless, but oh well. I'll just have to read his P.O.V. in order to be satisfied. Again, thank you!

The continuation!

Yes. Blue, despite wandering off on her own and thus being led astray, is still a good girl at heart. She wouldn’t willingly help in hurting her former friends. She would more likely simply walk away and not interfere than actively hurting them. But... there really is only one way to find out, eh?

I guess Black escaping the Light Stone in that fashion is kind of amusing in hindsight, now that he’s actually free. Hehe. ... And is partly plot relevant later on :) And yes. A part of my “headcanon” with Black & White is that Black is forever fated to be indebted to her. Nothing serious, but enough that he’d be more compelled to care for her. Something stupidly sweet like that. Hehe.

The meeting of Ruby and Sapphire with White? This is basically the easiest way for me to drag Black and White, who are completely unrelated to the whole Mega Hunter shenanigans, into the plot! It’s a natural conversation that leads to White tagging along for the sake of meeting the others. Hehe.

Heh. Green ain’t going to find Blue. He doesn’t even know that she’s not in Kanto anymore. He said it himself too. If Blue doesn’t want to be found, she’s going to just disappear. And it’s his fault. Unintentional, perhaps, but his fault anyways. Because compared to Red, he’s a dick. Hehe.

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Destiny #008

1) WHAT. THE. FUCK. HE JUST TOOK OUT A FUCKING ULTRA BALL AND THEN BRAINWASHED THIS POOR, UNSUSPECTING CHILD? HOW TF DID HE DO THAT? WHY CAN'T THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST KEEL OVER AND DIE? I am legitimately raging right now. He's too goddamn powerful. How are the dexholders going to defeat this dude? I mean it was 27 vs 6. That's insane. How the hell did this dude even get his hands on such powerful pokémon anyway? You don't actually need to answer these questions, they're just rhetorical. And I know I'll get my answer later on. Also, speaking of that battle. When Green and red joined in, I swear to god I started clapping. The relief was immense. And reading that scene the only things going through my mind was that this was where Y and Ruby are going to die. Thank god that they didn't. But with those wounds? They can't battle him at his full power, not when they only have three days to recover. And they're not going to spend their days completely recovering. They'll have to pull themselves together and practice. That is, unless Yellow could use her healing power on humans. But I don't think that's the case. And how tf are they going to get that strong in three days? I know somehow they'll pull it of—as that is the way of stories—but as to how exactly they might go about doing that? I'm clueless. Speaking of which... it would be nice to have a story that doesn't go the same path as so many others. Where, somehow, the hero always prevails! Why? Because they're the hero. And, I mean, I guess it makes sense. They're the hero for a reason, but isn't it unrealistic for the hero to always win? To err is human after all. That is, if the hero was human. Don't get me wrong, I love stories with happy endings. It's just sometimes I ponder whether that was the realistic outcome. But anyways, I'm getting off-topic. I'm sure that in your story if the dexholders win, it would be for a very good reason. And it excites me to think of the ways of how you'll surprise me! This has been a long-ass review. I spent forever writing it, and I'm terribly sorry. But I thank you for writing this. Anyways, on to the next chapter!

Assimilation successful. ... It’s a phrase that you would’ve seen immediately in Destiny. I think the first chapter pretty much begins with that.

Hehe. How is he so strong? GAME MECHANICS!! The power of RNG abuse to get shiny IV 31 all things with the desired natures, and then EV raising them for max efficiency! And to make things worse, TEAM SYNERGY! ... And level 100! Because the Mega Hunter and his Pokemon are all based on a real life friend and his HUGE pile of RNGed Pokemon. ... I also have a similar sized pile of level 100 RNGed Pokemon, but I didn’t want to put myself in. That’d be weird! ... Heh. So. How are the Dex Holders going to win? ... I don’t know.

... “As that is the way of stories”... OTHER people’s stories, perhaps. Heh. The “power of bullsh*t” doesn’t work in my stories, you know. None of that “I have the willpower, I will succeed!” nonsense, or “the power of friendship!!”. Heh. “I am the main character, so I can do everything!” ... Nope. Not in here, bud. Hahaha.

2) Oh fuck I got so into writing that review that I forgot to put my name. Yeah the last long-ass review is Mel's.

Don’t worry, I figured! :)

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Destiny #009

1) Oh god oh fuck. So soon! The scouts are coming... which brings me to another topic. How tf did this dude get so many scouts? How is he seeing what they're seeing? And who exactly are these scouts? 'Cause if they're just little children as the scout who got caught, then the dexholders will have no problem. But this dude isn't that stupid, or he is and he's planning on winning because of numbers. Which, I guess, isn't a bad idea. Numbers certainly help, but I mean come on. What a horrible thing to do to brainwash children. This dude is such an asshole and my ahem for him grows with every chapter. What even is the point in causing so much chaos? How will this benefit him? (And coming from a lazy person) Why tf would he go to such lengths? It sounds like too much work tbh. Fuck that, I'd rather stay at home relaxing. But I guess each to their own. Also, the writing in this chapter was sooo well done. It is envy chapter, but this one I loved the uncertainty it exuded, because of the uncertainty in the dexholders. What I guess I'm trying to say is, is that your writing reflects the emotions and thoughts of the dexholders in a way. This might just be me, I felt it was like that. It wasn't too overtly noticeable, but it left me with that feeling. Oh, and also some things I forgot to mention in the last review. I think I might've mentioned this before, but it just made me really happy to see that you kept the characters in... well... character. Incorporating things such as Pearl shouting the moves that the pokémon were going to execute really excite me. That's because so many times writers forget these things. And in the end product, you read something that resembles a character, but isn't quite actually like them. Actually, now I'm sure. I did say this another review. I'm sorry for the repetition them, it just amazes me. Another thing that amazes me, the strategies! You did really well in planning out the strategies in the battles. They were intricate, but easily understandable. And they sounded really effective. Really nice job on coming up with those. Oh, and before I end this. I just wanted to say that the interaction between Gold and Crystal at the beginning of this chapter was great. Still staying on the matter at hand, but also delving a bit into their history. Their relationship... they've broken up... made me sad ngl. But oh well, It's to be expected of that certain relationship. It can either be a really good one... or one that ends in heartbreak. It's definitely complicated for them. But one thing that made me chuckle was when Crystal retorted with "You were the one begging for me to come back to you." or something like that. Like it's so true. That's exactly what would happen, and of course Gold would try to play it so that he was the cool one. But we all know that he was the one begging lmaoooo. Also, the way you wrote in Green's concern for Blue in the chapter made me cry because of how beautiful it was. You didn't touch on the topic, but you made it so clear by his actions and things he said. It reminds me of this one thing C. S. Lewis once said, where it was something like, "Show, don't tell.". And that was a good example of that I thought. Makes me think there's hope for their relationship. Also, I know I talk a lot abut how you're work makes me cry. But goddamn are you also good at writing fluff. And it's incorporated a lot in your stories, even your more tragic ones. It's nice, because it's always good to have a balance. I mean, having a completely tragic story without any elements of happiness isn't a good read. So while some parts are sad, there are so many others where I smile or clap or laugh and the list goes on. I never realized how expressive I am when I'm reading lmao. Anyways, thank youuuuuu again.

How did the Mega Hunter get so many scouts mind controlled? ... Well, there are a lot of fodder class trainers that’ll get stomped in like 0.5 seconds and then get taken. Given established time gap, it’s certainly plausible to have mind controlled a crapton of nameless fodder! ... Well, that’s the excuse, anyways. You always need some fodder, you know?

Heh. Imagine if the villains were lazy. “Aw man. I don’t want to plant bombs in all those places... it’s rush hour...” Why is he stirring up chaos? Hehe. You’ll see later~ ... ... Well of course, you’ll see later. It’s the PLOT. ... Real subtle there, 135. Well done...

Aha, Pearl’s Detector trait in use! It’s often hard to do given just how many Dex Holders there are, but I try to think like “in this situation, what would this group do, and how would the members react?” So in the case of a battle, Pearl would be the first to detect which attacks are incoming since that’s his whole shtick.

The... battle strategies... well, they’re mostly just recreations of what I went through in XY/ORAS battles with the guy who the Mega Hunter is based on. That freaking Eruption, man. ... More of the “asshole combos” later.

Hehe. Yep. Gold got dumped, begged, and is trying to maintain the “cool guy” outlook by pretending that she was the one begging. ... Poor dude. But hey, now’s the chance for him to show just how reliable he is! After all, there’s something about destruction and devastation that brings people together!!

Green’s concerns for Blue that has to be put under because of ensuing chaos. Hehe. This is a loose reference to something that happens in SA, and what Blue says to him: “Can’t you put me on the top of your priorities just once?” Almost a year after that story ended (Dec 2013), Destiny began (Sept 2014), and... sure enough, Green is forced to put something else on the top of his priorities, over Blue. It’s because of his personality. Task first. Personal problems come after the public ones. ... But it doesn’t mean he likes that.

Yes. BALANCE. I write a ton of cutesy, fluffy stuff, along with horrific doom hammer strikes. But the fluffy stuff don’t stand out in memory because they don’t have shock value, but doom stuff do. So the common misconception is that I always write doom. No, I do not. BALANCE! Especially much further on where a chapter is half fluff, half doom. BALANCE. ... That said, I think you will cry a lot though. Hehehe... But hey, you’ll be laughing and clapping, and even shuddering at the pure cute fluff later on as well!

2) Also I meant to each their own kek.

To each their own indeed. In a lot of ways.

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Heart #001

1) So I'm just going to say this before actually reading so I, don't forget.

So Platinum has to pick between the boys...?

OK, but *grabs a mic* WHY NOT BOTH?

*drops mic*

Seriously though, consider the ot3 as a viable outcome, please. Don't just... tease me with the ship 'tag' I guess dunno how to call it in FF

Yes, Platinum has to pick one or the other. Why not both? ... This is a PAIRING. A pair has two members. And forcing all three Sinnoh Dex Holders into a single “pair”ing does not work out for anyone.

The “tag”...

I assume you mean that? I only did that because I couldn’t add Platinum twice. My original intent was to put Platinum with Diamond and Platinum again with Pearl. But I couldn’t put up Platinum twice or have her be in two different pairings at once. And it’s not like I could isolate one of the boys either, because... well, that’s a little... on-the-nose, isn’t it? But to avoid “teasing”, I could just give one of the boys the boot and spoil the ending, which... well, I’m sure everyone who reads my stuff will know anyways.

All three of them together is not a viable outcome. As friends? Certainly. I’m not breaking the Morning Sound trio. In a love relationship? Nope. Not happening. One is going to be accepted and experience pure bliss. The other is going to be rejected and experience bitter heartbreak. It’s inevitable and meant to be. ... Just delayed for as long as Platinum doesn’t realize the situation.

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part IV

Concussive Fracture

Trigger warnings: canon violence, language, gun & drug use. Suggestive/mature content

Game spoilers!

Bloody Mess Warning!

 Nick Valentine was hyperventilating. Catching sight of his former body, coupled with the intense, overwhelming emotions that permeated the room, he found the simple act of breathing to be immeasurably difficult. He would have fallen as soon as he stood up from the memory lounger had Hancock not caught him. Wraith produced a paper bag, seemingly from nowhere and passed it to them with instructions to, “just breathe”.

Nearly everyone in the room was crying: Wraith, Hancock, Ellie and even Valentine himself. Clearly uncomfortable Dr. Amari excused herself politely.

Standing against the wall, Deacon and MacCready remained dry-eyed. The former merc called out his congratulations, even though the whole affair was rather unsettling to him. Seeing as how the crying, hugging and all around back slapping didn’t seem to be winding down, he found a chair to plop in and tried not to look too impatient. The angle afforded him a rare look at Deacon’s eyes and he was surprised to see the high level of anxiety they held. The fact that he was directing it all straight at Wraith made MacCready’s hackles rise. Something was wrong.

Before MacCready could raise a fuss Hancock waved his arms to gain everyone’s attention and began trying to herd the group to the stairs. He had a special dinner planned in honor of Valentines first ever meal and was obviously excited. As they passed him, MacCready could see that Valentine and Ellie were holding hands. Fingers interlocked, it appeared very intimate. Deciding to let it go for now, he afforded them a smile and gave the detective a pat on the back of his own.

Sniffling, Wraith stopped in front of Deacon and gave him a grateful smile, “Thank you for this. Really. I know what it involves… what this means.”

“Hang back a second.” Deacon’s tone was all business.

Giving Deacon a dirty look, Hancock was inclined to tell him to piss off but moved on when Wraith gently touched his shoulder. As he passed MacCready he hooked an arm through one of his, “C’mon, little brother, the spooks need a whisper session.”

“Your guy did an amazing job on Val’s face. It still looks like him, but with… ya know, more skin.”

“If anyone is deserving, it’s good ol’ Synth Nick.” Deacon’s smile abruptly vanished and he removed his sunglasses, “I have to talk to you about the Gunners. You know that they started to recruit raiders to pad their numbers? Well, it’s beginning to back-fire on them. You have been destroying their leadership and things are… chaotic to say the least.”

“Not to sound narcissistic, but I’ve been doing that on purpose. I figure if things get bad enough they might want to play nice and try and see if the grass is greener on the Minutemen side of things.”

“Oh, things are bad that’s for sure! They’re running low on ammo, food… everything but chems. They can’t raid your settlements without being annihilated thanks to Daddy Danse and all his baby dragons… Uh, let’s agree that I never said ‘Daddy Danse’.”

“Ha! Not a chance! And it’s ‘Dragoon’ not ‘dragon’.”

“Right, ‘Drag Race Danse’, got it. All joking aside, the place is a powder keg. Clans are beginning to form and they are doing a lot of in-fighting and cannibalizing.” He shuddered in revulsion.  

“How is it you are so well informed?” Her eyes grew wide as the realization hit her, “Wait… don’t tell me you went to the Plaza? Deacon! You can’t do that! You are far too important to the Railroad to be running interference for me. Not that I don’t appreciate the information and warning. Well… maybe I’ll go and drop in; be the lit match, so to speak.”

“No!” Deacon reached out and grabbed her arms; driven by his urgency to make uncharacteristic physical contact, “You are the one thing they all agree on!” Giving her a little shake, he tried to drive his point home, “The clan that claims your head will establish itself as the leader. Your death has become the priority of the entire Gunner nation!”  

“So what else is new?”

“This isn’t like it was before… the Gunners… had rules and followed orders. They wouldn’t have come at you without measuring acceptable loss. Now, it’s a free-for-all.”

“What would you have me do?”

“Stay here. Stay in Goodneighbor.” He gripped her arms tighter as she shook her head, “Hancock can protect you here. Hell, you know he would love to have you and MacCready all to himself.”

She gently but firmly removed herself from his grasp, “You want me to hide. No, I’m sorry but I can’t just abandon my settlements like that. I have so many projects going… Plus, Shaun is still in Sanctuary and I really should spend more time with him.”

“You have Codsworth, Curie, Dogmeat and Danse all there with him. Strong, Cait and th’ Hounds are at the Rocket… you know Shaun will be safe. You know the further he is from you the safer he is!”

Wraith let her pride and anger override any amount of self-preservation, “Let them come at me! I’ll rip them to pieces and feed em to Strong!” Her eyes burned with a berserker’s fire and she flexed her hands menacingly, “I’m not going to hide from them and I won’t let them destroy everything I’ve built.”

“The general doesn’t FIGHT ON THE FRONT LINES!” Spittle flew as panic drove him to anger. Feeling the blood burning in his cheeks, he knew he had to be as red as Wraith was. He realized yelling at her would never work, so after several deep breaths, Deacon tried one last time to appeal to her sense of reason, “That’s part of it; you are the sole reason the Commonwealth is on an up-swing. If you were to be killed now…”

Waving her hand dismissively, Wraith cut him off, “I have already considered that and have contingencies in place in the event of my death. There is a whole file cabinet in Sanctuary filled with plans and ideas, resource allocation… a will if you will.” She tried a smile out on him for the sake of the play on words, but apparently he wasn’t up for smiles, “Everything will move forward just fine if I buy it. It won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”

Deacon put his sunglasses back on and motioned for her to precede him up the stairs. Then softly, almost whispering, “It’ll matter to me.”

 A few days later Hancock, MacCready and Wraith were all jogging to Sanctuary via Graygarden. Someone had alerted the Minuteman to a potential attack by the Rust Devils and Wraith had agreed to look into it. Although lacking a unit from the Heavy Dragoons, Graygarden was positively bristling with turrets of various lethalities. She found it unlikely that the Devils would be that stupid, but still, a threat was a threat.

The addition of Hancock was a surprise and Wraith suspected that there had been a, “Keep Wraith Alive in Spite of Herself” meeting between her friends. She didn’t mind as it was rare the three of them got to spend this much time together. She enjoyed listening to the two men’s easy banter and especially loved it when Hancock would try to fluster the younger man with his innuendo and blatant flirting. MacCready’s reactions varied on his moods and he would sometimes flirt back. On those occasions Wraith was left feeling… warm.  

As the trio moved along and the conversation lapsed into comfortable silence, she found herself watching how the two men moved: MacCready had an easy, loping gait that reminded her of a lanky wolf and Hancock had the smooth grace of a hunting cat. Both men had incredible endurance and she knew for a fact that Mac could run the entire length of the Commonwealth without breaking stride, (as long as it wasn’t raining). Her thoughts took a slight deviation as she imagined other ways their endurance might benefit her.

Stop it, Wraith. Imagine how red your face is right now… god forbid Hancock asks me… or looks at me… Just, stop it.

Once in Graygarden, Supervisor White seemed surprised by the offer of aid, “There have been no Devils skulking around here Daaarrrrling!”

Unconvinced, Wraith and her boys hung out snacking on mutfruit for a time. Finally giving up, they left with only an hour or so of daylight left. MacCready grumbled about running through the night but Wraith only smiled blithely at him.

As if the weather had read Wraith’s earlier thoughts, storm clouds began building just as the sun lowered on the horizon. MacCready’s standard “rain whine” kicked in, “… and we’ll be even more miserable…”

“Christ, little brother! Are you a cat or what?”

“It’s fine, guys. It’s dark anyway so let’s just find a place to stop.”

The two men exchanged a look, “Are you sure that’s wise, sister? There isn’t much out here at the moment.”

Wraith waved his concerns away, “There’s an armored truck just on the other side of this ridge. It’ll be cozy but should do the trick.”

After a cold dinner Hancock volunteered to take first watch but Wraith objected, “You guys never wake me up for my shift!”

“Ok, I’ll make you a deal. If you actually fall asleep, I promise I’ll wake MacCready up for his shift. But you are on three, you feel me?”

Putting her hand on MacCready’s chest and looking him right in the eye, Wraith made sure there could be no misunderstanding, “You wake me up.”

The closeness and physical contact sent a flutter of butterflies through MacCready’s guts, “Yeah. Sure.” The fluttering intensified as she gave his chest a pat before climbing into her bed-roll.

Hancock watched the interaction with a wolf-like grin.

 The night passed uneventfully with the rain stopping around midnight. MacCready dutifully if not reluctantly woke Wraith for the third watch. Exiting the truck she found the cool, pre-dawn air to be more refreshing than the fitful sleep she had.

Just as the first light of the sun was casting a pink glow to the sky, she felt eyes on her. She tried to tell herself that it was just Deacon’s infectious paranoia, especially since there wasn’t anything showing up on her Pip-Boy.

It might be radstag or one of those unfortunate-looking crows….

Deciding to trust her instinct rather than technology she reentered the truck to wake the boys. She placed a gentle hand on Hancock’s shoulder and he was instantly awake, “It’s okay, I just have a bad feeling is all. Wake Mac up I’m going back outside.”

If she had meant gently she didn’t specify so Hancock smacked him across the face with his bed-roll.

“The shit?!”

“Awwww! You did a swear! I’m tellin’.”

“Nice… real mature.”

“Hot damn, MacCready! Is that for me? You really shouldn’t have.”

“Well, who sez it’s for you?”

“As the sexiest individual in the truck…”

“Ha!”

As much as she was enjoying their back-and-forth, she was also prickling with ominous foreboding, which caused her to shush them more harshly than she meant to, “Quiet! Hancock, go do a wide sweep. Mac, you stay by the truck and both of you stay low.”

As Hancock crept off through the tall grass and scrub, Wraith pulled MacCready to her to whisper in his ear, “I’m going hunting. You stay in cover! You hear me? I don’t know how many there are, so stay the fuck down!”

With her hand on the back of his neck and mouth just brushing his cheek, despite the danger they were in, MacCready felt the flicker of heat growing in his stomach, “Okay boss, I’m in the grass.” As she melted away into the early dawn gloom, he whispered to himself, “Goddamn she’s scary.”

 Hancock encountered them first, south of the ridge. Had the Gunners sniped him from the high-ground they might have had a chance. As it was, the 5 person group, equipped mainly for melee, would find themselves staggeringly deficient against the ghoul.

At least one of them had a powerfist…

Hancock rushed the powerfist wielder, who surprised by how quickly the ghoul closed the distance, took a step backward, placing all his weight on one leg. At the last second Hancock dropped and with one hand, drove the heel of his palm into the Gunner’s locked knee buckling it. As the Gunner fell forward Hancock’s other hand reached for his throat, crushing it easily. Smoothly using his opponent’s momentum, he popped the dying man’s body up and over his own, throwing it onto one of his comrades.

Spinning away to his left, Hancock’s right arm flicked out and a small throwing knife suddenly bloomed from a 3rd Gunner’s throat. Appearing to have almost precognitive reflexes, Hancock easily caught the baseball bat as his 4th opponent swung for his head. Trapping the bat under his arm he then drove his palm into the Gunner’s locked elbow, causing it to bend in the opposite direction that nature intended. A quick knife flash across the throat ended her agonized scream.

A shot rang out and Hancock imagined he could feel the rush of air as the bullet narrowly missed his face. He threw yet another knife as a distraction as he rushed her, twisting her arm down and pushing a knife through her hand, pinning it to her own haunch. Picking up her dropped pipe-pistol he shot her point blank in the face.

All this before the last Gunner even got out from under his dead companion’s body. The last thing he saw was Hancock’s smiling face.

 MacCready heard the reverberating crack of the pistol, “Hancock…” He very much disliked how he couldn’t see either of his two best friends. Then, higher up the hill to the north he saw a brief flash of light: the sun reflecting off of a scope.

Wraith had 3 kills of her own at this time, all in total silence. However, her 4th target somehow perceived her at the last second and the two rose out of cover, grappling.

Wraith didn’t see the sniper. Wraith was going to be shot. Wraith was going to die.

“No…”

What happened next appeared to Wraith as though in slow motion, as if she had taken a hit of Jet.

MacCready rose from cover, his focus trained solely on the threat to Wraith. Pulling his trigger, he killed the sniper. At the same moment, to his left, an unseen Gunner assassin rose from cover and shot the young man in the head from only 6 feet away. As his head snapped back, a spray of blood fountained through the air like a nightmare rainbow. Then MacCready’s body crumpled into the grass.

“NOOOOGGGGAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHHAAAAA!”

 Hancock was retrieving his knives and grumbling aloud how hard it was to, “find good dance partners these days…” when he heard Wraith’s agonized scream. It ripped through him and left him clutching his chest above his heart, “No. No. No. No!”

 Wraith was beating someone to death with a human arm. Most likely it was the arm’s former owner. Covered head to toe in blood and worse, she was roaring incoherently. Hancock rushed to her side yelling her name. She turned and raised her macabre club above her head, preparing to swing it at him.

Recognition flashed across her berserk maddened face and she began sobbing and gesturing with the limb as if it were a pointer, “He was right here! I saw him! Where is he?”

Taking the arm from her, Hancock flung it away, “Wraith, is any of this your blood?”

“I can’t find him. He was just here!”

“Sister, are you hurt? Where the fuck is MacCready?” In his fear and panic he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her none too gently.

She looked up at him with a face so lost in child-like fear it broke his heart, “They shot him, John. I saw him die. But now… now I can’t find… his body.”

Hancock stood in complete shock, “You can’t… his…?”

“He fell right here. Oh… oh God…”

Letting go of her shoulders, Hancock closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look for MacCready’s dead body.

If there’s no… then he can’t be gone.

“Wraith, if he was… if he was dead he would be here. The dead don’t move themselves around and you’ve ripped apart everyone else here that could have moved him, right?” Hancock took a deep shuddering breath, “He must have gotten up and went for better cover; it probably wasn’t a kill-shot.” He saw a faint glimmer of hope spark in her eyes.

Oh please, please let me be right!

Calling his name, they each went in opposite directions. Wraith found his hat and was disheartened by how blood-soaked it was. The two rifle bullets he kept in the brim were missing and she was overcome by a completely irrational need to find them. Palming through the tall grass she almost didn’t hear Hancock calling for her. Gripping his hat to her chest she ran to the ghoul’s waving form, terrified at what she might see.

MacCready was walking north. His steps where stumbling and feral-like. The entire left side of his face and head was covered in blood and it was running freely down his neck. Dragging his rifle behind him, his arm was bent at a weird angle. He looked like a zombie.

Unlike a zombie, and somehow even more disturbing than his appearance, was his halting and rambling running commentary, “Save… her. Not this time. NooooOOOOOO!”

Chocking back sobs, Wraith ran and stood in front of him. Grabbing him by the shoulders she tried to get him to halt his march. He tried to side-step around her and would have fallen, but once again Hancock was there to catch a dear friend.

MacCready continued to push against Wraith with surprising strength and was almost dragging Hancock behind him, talking the entire time, “I can’t… not again… ALONE! Noooooo. I’m not going to let her die this time. I’ll fuCKING KILL ALLL YOU MOTHER FUCKING SONS OF COCKS!”

Hancock was unwilling to throw him bodily to the ground but was finding it impossible to stop him gently. It was as if he had developed super mutant strength, “What the hell is wrong with him?!”

“He’s concussed… it looks like the bullet ricocheted… I can’t see! We have to get him to sit down.”

“Hey, little brother, it’s okay…”

“No! I have to sAVE WRAITH! FUCK YOU!”

“I’m right here, Mac! You saved me.”

Bringing his rifle to bear, he was actively fighting them now, “Nooooo. She can’t die! Not again. She don’t see…”

Letting go Wraith took a deep breath in and in her loudest “momma” voice told him off, “Robert Joseph MacCready! Sit your MOTHER FUCKING ASS DOWN!”

MacCready dropped to his knees like a stone. Looking up at her with a shocked, hurt expression his lip quivered, “You yelled at me.” He turned to Hancock, “she said ‘fuck’!”

“She sure did, little brother. She means business, so you better mind her.”

“Well, okay.”

Pulling his matted, blood-soaked hair away from the wound, she could see a significant gash, down to bone, just above his ear. “I’ll treat the laceration and stop the bleeding, but we need to get him back to Goodneighbor; back to Dr. Amari. I don’t know the first thing about brain injury.”

MacCready was staring at Hancock with a confused look, “Hey, you look just like Hancock used to.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. He’s like, my favorite guy. He’s so good but he doesn’t think so. He’s always helping annoying people. If it wasn’t for him giving me a chance when no one else would I’d never met Wraith. She saved my son. I love her, but I’m pretty sure she’s in love with Hancock.”

Blushing furiously, Wraith refused to look at Hancock, “He’s still moving around too much. Would you hold him please?”

“Sure thing, sister.” Easing MacCready back onto his butt, Hancock wrapped his arms around him from his right side, “Hold still, little brother.”

Sighing, MacCready leaned his head back onto Hancock’s chest, which put his head at a perfect angle to Wraith, “Hancock calls me that too. Sometimes it pisses me off but then I like it sometimes. This is really nice. You know, you remind me a lot of Hancock.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“I miss Lucy,” MacCready’s cerulean eyes filled with tears, “she was my wife before she died.” Suddenly very still, his eyes locked onto Wraith’s light green ones with such intensity that she stopped her work and leaned back from him, “Lucy?” His arms shot up out of Hancock’s embrace and he cradled Wraith’s face in his hands. He pulled her to him in a deeply passionate kiss.  

Hancock made a strange sound, as if he’d been hit in the stomach with a powerfist.

Pulling away, Wraith was as red as a tato, “No, Mac. I’m Wraith, not Lucy.” Standing up she turned her back to the two men, trying to get herself under control, “We should go. We need to get him to Amari fast. We can take turns carrying him and we need to keep him awake.”

“I’ve got him.” Hancock’s tone was annoyed, “C’mon, little brother, time for a piggy-back ride.”

“Oh cool! Fun!”

“Now I know yer concussed…”

Wraith was repacking her field med kit, “Okay, you can have first turn, but I assure you I can carry him. Plus I have Buffout if I need it.”

“I said I’ve got him!” Hancock snapped at her, “It’s bad enough you took him in the first place.”

 The trip back to Goodneighbor was awkward to say the least. Wraith couldn’t understand Hancock’s sudden mood change. He had never been the jealous type before.

It’s not like there is really anything to be jealous of, is there? Who is he mad about? Is he mad that Mac kissed me? Clearly he’s not in his right mind! What the fuck does he mean by me ‘taking him’? He thinks I stole Mac?

They did their best to keep MacCready awake by asking him questions about whatever confused and random events he was babbling on about. He kept combining Lucy and Wraith into one person. Worse still was when he would actively fight against Hancock so he could return to save Wraith.

In desperation, she turned on the radio and suggested that MacCready sing along. It wasn’t working until Hancock started to sing, Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall, then, MacCready immediately stopped struggling and was listening with rapt attention to the ghoul’s voice.

 Amari seemed optimistic, “There is nothing I can give him, but I believe with proper rest he will be himself again. I would strongly suggest he stays here under observation for the next few days, however.”

Hancock told Wraith to go and clean the gore off of herself in Irma’s shower, “You’ll freak him out if he wakes up, I mean really wakes up, and sees you looking like a mutant’s meat bag.”

Irma was more than happy to lend Wraith her shower as well as a (surprisingly tame) dress to change into. As she stepped off the landing, she could see Hancock had just finished getting MacCready changed. Lacking any real hospital gowns, he had put him in a pair of pajama bottoms and a bathrobe.

The silence was leaden and uncomfortable. Hancock felt compelled to do what he felt was necessary, but it would be one of the hardest things he had ever done.

Jesus; look at her! She’s fucking adorable in a dress! She looks so tired and sad… It’s best though. It’s best for them. I’m… I’m in their way.

“Well, I hope you’re happy.” He could see her confusion and that his words had already hurt her, “Deacon tried to warn you. He told you and yet, here we are.”

“I’m sorry, Hancock. I thought I had it under control. I guess I’ve been feeling invincible lately.”

“You may be but what about the rest of us?” He drew his hand through the air above MacCready’s unconscious form like he was showing off a new car, “How about the kid here? Does he look invincible to you?”

Fight back, Wraith.

Sniffling she hung her head, abashed, “You’re right. I should have seen through the false Graygarden report. They knew exactly where we would be… I should have left him here with you in Goodneighbor.”

Fight back, Wraith.

Hancock snorted, “You would have been killed. This idiot clearly is in love with you; what would your death do to him?”

Fight back… please…

“Do you care what the consequences of your actions are? Do you give a fuck about any of us?!”

That did it.

“What the fuck!?” She stabbed a finger at his chest, forcing him a step backward, “How could you even fucking ask me that? All that I’ve done has been for all of you!” Throwing her hands out wide she gestured emphatically, “I’ve practically rebuilt the entire fucking Commonwealth for you!”

“Yes, that’s right, Queen Fucking Wraith.” He turned away from her and headed for the stairs, “Well I’m done. I’m not going to follow you around, watching you killing yourself and anyone dumb enough to be with you!”

She followed him to the landing, hands out palms up, her body asking questions that she couldn’t articulate, “Are you running from me, John McDonough?”

Hancock stopped for a second on the first floor landing. With his back to her, Wraith couldn’t see how much pain he was in. Then, squaring his shoulders, he left her standing in the stairwell, tears on her cheeks.

“Wraith?” Whipping around she could see MacCready standing in the basement doorway. Arms out to either side, he was using the doorframe to hold himself upright. He had removed the bathrobe and was shivering. “What happened to me? I feel really sick. Where’s Hancock?”

“Oh, Mac, you shouldn’t be standing.” Wiping her face hurriedly, she ducked under his arm and led him back to the clinic bed. “You got shot saving my stupid ass.”

“Oh… yeah?” He was reluctant to let her go, wrapping both his arms around her. “You’re so tiny without all your stuff on. You smell good. Are you wearing a dress? You look so cute!”

“Thanks, kid.” She carefully disentangled herself from his hug and eased him down on the bed, “And you… you are still loopy. Don’t move too fast or you’ll barf.”

“Ugh! Why do you call me ‘kid’ all the time? I’m adult! And I have a freaking kid of my own!”

“I imagine it’s for the same reason that Hancock calls you ‘little brother’.”

“Where is he?” MacCready straightened up in alarm and winced at the sudden movement.

“He’s fine. He will… be back before you know it.” The lie was easier at that moment. She would tell him everything later.

Well… maybe not everything…

Even back under the blanket, MacCready was still shivering, “It’s kinda cold down here.”

“It’s because you took the robe off.” She went and picked it up off the floor and offered it back to him.

He shook his head, wincing, “I don’t like the way it wraps around my legs.”

“I’ll see if I can find another blanket.”

MacCready caught her hand as she moved away, “Would you… lay down with me?”

Wraith’s mind was a swirling mass of emotions as MacCready snuggled up to her.

“This is nice. I should get shot more often. You smell nice.”

“So I’ve been told.”

         Thank you for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see the master-link in my tags: Wraith in the Ruins. I’ll also be reblogging it from time to time. As always any questions/comments/concerns my ask is open. =^..^=

[kristinebritney]

Pre-Stem Cell Harvest Thoughts

Forgive me for this long post as I have nothing else to do in the hospital but to wait until my stem cells can be harvested. I am on Day 15 at the hospital and hopefully soon, my stem cells can be harvested already then after a month, the stem cell transplant will happen. I have so many thoughts going on in my head that sometimes I could not sleep.

Will I beat cancer again?

Can my body handle all the toxic chemicals being infused for me to get better?

Will I ever not worry about cancer coming back?

Can my family ever recover from this sickness?

Why is it so hard to beat cancer?

When will I get out of this hospital?

When will I go back to work?

When does the suffering end?

Diagnosis

Being diagnosed the first time was the worst day of my life. And being diagnosed the second time around is the hardest and also the worst day of my life. Just after putting all my efforts in rebuilding my life, cancer struck me out of nowhere. I knew I had to be vigilant that’s why I never let a simple pain be forgotten. That’s how life is after cancer. I feel like I am walking on eggshells – I have to be careful not to trigger anything. What triggers cancer anyway? We wouldn’t know. I still don’t know. Since I got better, I have been living a somewhat “stress-free” life. My family and friends are very kind to not let me stress over simple things. I admit, I still eat what I want but I do it in moderation.

The second time I was diagnosed, my first thought was, “What about my work?” Back in 2016, I had to take a 6-month leave to finish my chemotherapy. Some people can still work while having chemo. Me, I can’t even walk on my own that time. I am so fortunate that the company I am staying with is very considerate with regards to my case. The support of my colleagues all over the world were tremendous! When I came back to work on January 2017, I still had to do radiations so what I did was to wake up at 5:00AM then proceed to the hospital so that I can start radiation by 7:00AM, finished by 8:15AM, get to work by 9:30AM just in time for my 10:00AM shift. That was a routine for 19 days straight. I was so relieved that finally, I am done with the treatments!!!! Now, my company is again very gracious to allow me to take a leave again for me to get better. I was devastated to take a leave because I was starting to work on a project, but I had to let it go as health is my priority. Back in my mind, I am feeling guilty for leaving my colleagues for an indefinite time and passing on my work to them. But deep down, I am so thankful for their understanding. I am relieved when they say “Don’t worry, just focus on your health and we’ll see you soon” all the time. You see, it is important for a cancer patient to still look forward for work. This motivates me to heal faster and get back on my feet the soonest.

Having Cancer in the Philippines

Coming from a middle-class family, earning my own money is a big deal. Just a few weeks after graduation, I started working and earning my own money to fund everything I want and need. I was financially independent. I’m not earning a huge amount, but it was enough to live a comfortable life.

My first diagnosis, we were told to prepare PhP750,00.00 for chemotherapy alone (not including other complications of chemo – which I had) I was unfortunately diagnosed with the expensive type of Lymphoma. I don’t even have enough savings to fund 1 cycle of chemotherapy.

My second diagnosis, a stem cell transplant is the recommended second line treatment for relapse in Lymphoma which costs around PhP 2.5 Million. Basically, I will be having an autologous stem cell transplant in which my own stem cells will be harvested, a high dose chemo will be given to kill the cancer cells, then my stem cells will return to me. Seems easy, right? But no, I had to undergo a total of 4 high dose chemo because the transplant can only be successful if I am in Partial or Complete Remission.

We were given two choices -  to go with stem cell transplant or just go with 6 cycles of chemo. In comparison, stem cell transplant has the highest chance of cure compared with chemo alone. However, neither of them guarantees the cancer won’t come back. I asked helped from my friends in making a decision and one answer struck me the most, “No matter what the cost, I would do anything to increase my chances of living.” Although we do not have the money for the transplant, my parents never hesitated to push through with the procedure. “We will make it work,” they said. And for the past months, we did make it work through the help of so many angels.

I have joined many Lymphoma support groups all over the world and I am jealous of their health care system. They don’t have to worry about the cost of the transplant. Having a stem cell transplant in their country is not a question. It’s part of the procedure. While here in the Philippines, you have to think about it because it is not easy to shell out PhP 2.5M.

Here in the Philippines, PCSO gives medical assistance whether you are rich or poor. I believe that when one of your family member has cancer, it will always drain your savings. Processing PCSO guarantee letters is definitely not a walk in the park. I am lucky enough to have a brother and sister-in-law to process my papers instead of me going to PCSO. Imagine how many sick people line up as early as 3:00AM for them to secure the golden ticket in the form of a guarantee letter or medicines. It would take up your whole day! For some people, PCSO is their best way to survive the costly chemotherapy.

Miracles and New Beginnings

I would sometimes wonder what it would feel like to not ever worry about money which is an impossible world. Everyone worries about money. I remember telling my mom that with all the medical expenses we incurred, we could be millionaires right now. But then she told me, “None of them was ours. They were all given and donated for you to get better” Then it hit me how so many people are always willing to help. When I needed my first chemo immediately, my mom’s brother and friends willingly gave us money. When the bill was too high to be paid in cash, my mom’s friend went to the hospital and swiped her credit card. When there was a problem with my health card, my dad’s friends did everything to get it approved. Whenever we are about to be discharged from the hospital, help from my colleagues and friends would always come. I remember a dear friend of mine giving me P50,000.00 just because they have extra blessings in their family. Colleagues from Manila, Amsterdam, and Singapore pooled funds to help me with my medical bills. I receive so many messages saying that the only thing they can do for me is pray. Please know that prayers mean everything! I am blessed to have so many prayer warriors. I am deeply touched with the help I’ve been receiving. Even until now, my friends haven’t stopped creating fundraising events for my transplant. Miracles are indeed everywhere. You just have to stop and realize them.

Series of events led us to losing our house at the same time while I am battling cancer. It was heartbreaking. I kept on thinking why does these have to happen at the same time? With God’s grace, we were able to find a new place to stay immediately – as if it was handed to us without any glitches. I take this struggle as God’s way of telling us to start something new. I read a quote saying “You cannot heal in the same environment where you got sick” so maybe this is my new beginning.

Waiting Patiently

I am currently on my 15th day of confinement. I had 5 days of intensive chemo and now that my white blood cell count is down to 0.15, we are waiting for it to shoot up, so the stem cell harvest can be done. The waiting game is not easy. My counts are low, hence, I had a platelet transfusion and will be having a blood transfusion in a bit. I currently have a fever. My electrolytes are low too. For the past few days, some of you may know that I feel a bit down. I feel like I am not as strong as before when I was first battling cancer. I feel like I am so tired from everything. I just want to go home. But of course I will not stop fighting. I have so many angels standing with me in this fight and I won’t let them down.

I recently had a chat with one of the nurses that will handle my transplant. He was so informative because he told me what I should expect. Hearing his stories scared me. He said that when stem cells are transplanted back to me, I will experience a 40-degree fever, problems with the GI tract (this one is what I’m scared of the most), stomach pains, unable to eat anything to the point that my nourishments have to be given thru IV, that familiar feeling of weakness due to chemo but this time, it is more intense. The good news is, this will not last forever. I just have to endure the pain for a few days or weeks. But I admit, knowing these scared me so much that I had to cry to my parents.

I am almost there! I am wishing and hoping that I will be cured and cancer will never ever come back for my family.

[redrobinfection]

“Mi cama es su cama”

JayTim Week 2018 | Day 5 - “Bed Sharing” (Day 6), Pt 5 of 6

AN: Okay, so, March is definitely one of the worst times of year for me, surpassed only by April, so, originally, I hadn’t planned on participating in this JayTim Week. But I couldn’t stay away from the “bed sharing” prompt, and thus this massive oneshot was born. Since I don’t like posting long works to tumblr, and the fic naturally split into six, roughly-even parts, I’ve decided to release one part each day up until day six, at which point I’ll also share a link to the entire work on Ao3. I particularly enjoyed writing this spur-of-the-moment monster, so I hope you enjoy reading just as much!

Tags: enemies to friends to lovers, pre-N52, slow burn, blood and injury, tw: blood

<< Part 4

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Tim blew out a breath and sagged down onto the bed, running both hands through his hair. At this point it was a waiting game, nothing to do but wait until the man tucked into his bed woke up again. He carefully smoothed out the blankets he had draped over Jason's still form, mindful to keep his touch light so as not to aggravate the wounds stitched and bandaged underneath, and mused over the events of the past two hours.

The ordeal had begun with a bewildering alert from one of the safehouses at which he and Jay would often meet up to discuss cases or catch a nap if one or both of them were running on fumes. The napping part of it had started out as a joke between them after the time Tim had crashed at Jason's place right after the invasion had ended. Since then, every other week or so, one of them would show up at whichever safehouse the other was currently occupying just to beg a nap, hang out, and eat the other's food. These days, they were hanging out together at least twice a week, and Tim was actually starting to depend on those extra naps to keep him going throughout the week.

So when he had gotten the alert, he had wondered if maybe Jay had thought that he was there for some reason and just hadn't thought to disable and reset the security? It was that or someone had legitimately broken into the place; all of the Bats knew to either call him or disable the security themselves upon entering, so it wouldn't have been one of them. He had been particularly bewildered after he had pulled the security feed and saw that it was indeed Jason who had entered. Uncertain and a little concerned, Tim had peeled off from his patrol route and circled back to check, just in case.

Maybe Jason had info for him but had lost his comm? Or maybe he'd been hit with fear toxin or something similarly nasty and just homed in on the closest place to crash, just as Tim had months ago when he'd been hit by Freeze? Or maybe he had just really needed a nap?

Those possibilities had circled like impatient vultures in his head as he had cautiously entered the safehouse through the false wall Jason had carelessly left ajar. Upon seeing nothing immediately out of place, he had turned off the silent alarms and reset the system. He had then walked from room to room, seeking Jason out, until he had found him in the only bedroom.

At first glance it had appeared that Jason had snuck in for a quick nap, stretched out on his stomach across the bed, hood nowhere to be seen, head buried in a pillow. The second thing Tim had noticed was that Jay hadn't bothered to remove his boots before flopping across the bed. It was at the point that Tim had opened his mouth rouse his guest and gleefully rib him for his oversight that he had noticed the third thing, the spreading pool of blood just seeping out from under Jason.

Tim had instantly cried out and jumped forward, gingerly rolling the man onto his back. The stain hadn't spread too far, but thinking back to when he'd first gotten the alert and by looking at the deep color and wet glisten of blood that could no longer be absorbed by the saturated material, Jason had clearly been bleeding profusely for a while.

Heart in his throat, Tim had jumped right into crisis mode, quickly stripping out of his gauntlets, pulling on the nitrile gloves he kept in one of his bandolier compartments, shaking Jason to gauge level of consciousness - completely non-responsive - and feeling for a pulse as he gauged Jason's color and breathing. He had clearly lost a lot of blood, as confirmed by the paleness of his skin, his rapid, shallow breaths, his rapid, thready pulse, and the total loss of consciousness, but at least Tim had made it back while he had still had a pulse.

Tim had wasted no time in running into the gear room for his vigilante first aid kit, IV fluids and oxygen. He then quickly identified two gunshot wounds to the torso, in the lower right quadrant, and one superficial wound to the left shoulder. He had staunched the bleeding temporarily with sterile gauze and pressure bandages, then set Jay up on fluids and oxygen while he had made some calls out to Oracle and the Bats to call in some favors.

He had then cleaned and stitched the wounds in record time - Jay had been lucky the bullets hadn't gone deep enough to rupture viscera or nick any major arteries, otherwise he would have been taking a trip to his least favorite cave in the world, if he had survived long enough for Tim to call in the cavalry - and then he had gingerly shifted Jason over on the bed so he could strip the blankets and sheets from under him. The blood had soaked all the way through, as he'd thought - the mattress was a total loss - but it was the only bed Tim had, so he had done his best to soak up as much liquid as he could, then laid down a layer of towels before stretching clean sheets over the bed.

He had only just then finished tucking Jason back into the bed, setting him up on a unit of blood, cleaning up the bloodied sheets and towels, and putting away the first aid supplies. It had been two hours since he had first gotten the alert from his security app, but it had felt like two of the longest hours of his life.

He hadn't realized until he'd seen the pool of blood and seen Jason's pale, slack face how much he actually cared for the man. It scared him, just how much he cared. It frightened him, just how much it had frightened him to find Jason bleeding out and unresponsive in his bed.

He shifted his attention back to the man lying in his bed in the present moment. He threaded his fingers into Jason's and squeezed, his fingers mimicking the fear he felt squeeze his chest in that moment as he thought back on how close to total disaster they had come tonight. If he had been a few minutes slower or if the bullets had gone a little bit deeper or if they'd hit just a little higher. So many 'what-ifs' and it terrified him that the mere act of considering those possibilities terrified him so much.

He'd felt fear for the safety of those he'd worked with before - for Bruce, for Dick, for Steph, for Bart, Kon, Cassie and the Titans, even for Damian, once - but he'd never felt fear like this before. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Now that he was waiting for Jason to wake up, he wasn't sure whether he was more nervous about what would happen when Jason woke up again - what he would say, what Jay might say, what would happen next - or at the possibility that Jason might never wake up again.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft sound from the bed. The significance of that sound pulled a relieved smile from him in spite of the churning feeling he felt in his stomach as he watched Jason begin to stir. He subtly shifted his grip around Jason's hand, lightly feeling for a pulse and feeling a greater measure of relief from the strong, steady beat he felt gradually quicken under his fingertips. After a minute or so, Jason's eyes blinked open once, twice, then stayed open, at which point his face immediately twisted in pain.

"Wha' happ'n?" Jason groaned.

"I was hoping you could tell me that," Tim responded smoothly. It took Jason a few tries to focus his gaze on him.

"I was… trackin' down a weap'ns deal an'… turned bad… got caught in th' crossfire as I tried t' break it up… an' then… I dunno," Jason recalled woozily, frowning slightly. He pulled his hand from Tim's and pressed it lightly to the wounds on his abdomen, hissing slightly.

"And then you somehow made it out here, broke into my apartment, took a little nap in my bed, and bled all over my sheets. Not to mention you forgot to take your boots off first," Tim finished, keeping his tone light and teasing.

Jason huffed a laugh, then grimaced and pressed his hand harder against the wounds. "Shit, man… don' make me laugh. Hurts." Tim rose smoothly and retrieved two syringes from the dresser and rounded the other side of the bed to fiddle with the IVs. "Sorry about the sheets, though. And the boots, of course," Jason finished, shooting him a wink that was nearly indistinguishable from a wince.

"Don't worry about it," Tim assured him, patting the hand just below the IV sites patronizingly, "I mean, you forgave me that one time with Freeze, so I'm sure I can give you this one."

"H-how generous of you," Jason choked out, clearly trying his best not to laugh.

"I've got some painkillers and antibiotics here for you, if you want them. No allergies, right?" Tim asked, waving the syringes. Jason nodded vigorously to each, so Tim carefully uncapped and injected them into the port he'd placed with one IV catheter for this express purpose. "I would have given you the painkiller sooner, but I wanted to make sure you'd wake up first."

The tension visibly drained from Jason's face and body within seconds of the painkiller going in. He let out a pleased sigh as he relaxed back onto the pillows Tim had propped him up upon. "No problem, man. I'm just really grateful you got me the good stuff. Oh, yeahhhh… that's the stuffffffffff." He practically melted into the pillows, a happy little puddle of high-as-a-kite Jason.

Tim snorted. "Yeah, I had to call in a few favors to get my hands on it, so you're welcome." He capped the empty syringes and set them aside. "Had to call in one for the blood too. You're lucky I had the rest of this stuff on hand here or we would have been shit out of luck and you would have had to take a ride in your least favorite automobile in the city."

"Hey, nah, I love the Batmobile - awesome wheels on the thing - I just can't stand the jerk who drives it," Jason explained drowsily, eyes slipping closed in spite of himself. "But thanks for not calling in big B or Dickie and the Demon Brat."

"Well, it was Damian who brought us the morphine and blood, so…"

Jason's eyes snapped open and he stared. "Wait, Damian did you a favor? Wait. He owed you a favor? How even…? What did you do for the demon for him to owe you a favor?"

Tim laughed, slowly rounded the bed, and sat down beside Jason once more. "Yeah, he owed me a favor, and part of the favor I did him involved not telling anyone why he owed me that favor, so, you know, I really like not getting stabbed and thrown from high places, and rather dislike having my grapple lines cut, so I'm gonna keep that one to myself."

"That's fair. But jeez…" Jason whistled. "To use a favor from the Demon Brat on me. Wow. I'm honored."

Tim grinned. "No problem, man." He was just about to stand and go in search of extra blankets when Jason's hand unexpectedly shifted from his wounds down to where Tim's hand rested on the bed, his chilled fingers wrapping around Tim's slightly sweaty ones with a firm grip.

"But really, Tim, thank you," Jason murmured seriously. "Thanks for catching the alarms I must have set off coming in here and a special thank you for not taking your time coming back and checking on them - coming back and checking on me. Thanks for patching me up." He paused, then smiled and squeezed Tim's hand, instantly rekindling the heavy churning feeling in his stomach that had fallen to the wayside during their easy banter. "Thanks for sharing your beds, particularly this one, tonight, with me. Means a lot to me."

Tim nodded and swallowed. "Y-yeah, no problem." He shot up from the bed, yanking his hand from Jason's abruptly. He fluttered for a moment before rambling out some words that might have conveyed a desire to find more blankets and get Jay some water, but probably came out too quickly to be understood, and then he fled the room. He took his time pulling the spare blankets from the main closet and filling a lidded cup - complete with straw - with water before he made his way back to the bedroom. He steeled himself outside the door, running what he planned to say over and over in his head.

"Here are more blankets and some water," he began as he walked in. Jason accepted the water silently, taking a few small sips before setting it aside. Tim draped several of the blankets over him carefully, then stood back from the bed. He sucked in a deep breath.

"Jay, I-"

"So where're you gonna sleep, Timbo? You got a couch in this place?"

"I uhhh… hadn't thought about it actually," he admitted. "No, I don't. I'll probably just make myself a pallet on the floor, to be honest. Plenty of blankets left."

Jason shook his head. "No, don't sleep on the floor, man. There's plenty of room on the bed."

Tim immediately began to protest, but Jason raised his voice to over him. "I'm serious, get yourself outta that suit and climb in. I can use all the extra warmth I can get right now; blood loss fucking sucks."

Tim wavered. "I don't want to accidentally elbow you in the middle of the night, or worse, kick you or something."

Jason scoffed, then fiddled with his nasal cannula with a grimace. "Like that ever happens. You're not a kicker, anyway. If anything you might snuggle me until my stitches pop, but believe me, I'll wake you up loooong before it gets to that, so stop stalling and get in. After all," Jason explained with a loopy grin, "we're not really sharing a bed if you're not in here too."

Tim rolled his eyes and sighed, but didn't argue it further. He had wanted to keep a close eye on Jay tonight, anyway. He quickly shucked off the remaining pieces of his suit and carefully climbed into the right side of the bed - ideally he would have liked to have avoided Jason's sore side, but with the IVs on the other side he didn't really have a choice - purposefully giving the injured man wide clearance. Jason huffed and dragged him closer, pulling him nearly flush against his side.

Eventually they settled in together, the sound of Jason's breaths growing slower and softer while the drip-drip of the IVs filled the silences in between. Before Jason could drop off completely and before Tim lost his nerve entirely, he sucked in another long breath and went for it.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"You really scared me tonight."

A long pause. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I… I don't know… I can't…" Tim struggled and he felt Jason shift beside him in confusion. "I'm not sure what I'd do if you had…"

"Died. Again," Jason finished, his words reminiscent of the many jokes he often made about his death. There was no humor in his voice this time, only understanding.

"Yeah. I'd… It scares me, Jason. It scares me how much it scares me. I'd really hate it if something happened to you."

"I'd really hate it if something happened to you, too," Jason admitted softly.

Tim let the silence stretch, weighing his next words carefully on his tongue and in his heart before he whispered them to the ceiling. He wasn't even sure Jason was awake anymore.

"Jay, I think I like you."

The admission floated into the space above and around them and Tim felt an overwhelming sense of peace at having finally gotten the words past his lips, words that he felt were true down to the depths of his soul, a truth that had grown between them for months without him ever realizing it.

Jason wasn't asleep. The response he gave without pause echoed in Tim's head until sleep finally took him and then all the way through the night and on into the morning.

"I like you too, Babybird."

---

Part 6 >>

[k2kid]

Private (later Lieutenant) Wesley Strang Caldwell[i] was yet to earn the Military Medal for his actions at Courcelette, the Somme, when this letter was published in the Huron Expositor on March 10, 1916. He was 20-years old, just shy of his 21st birthday by 40 days. He was a combat veteran claiming to have served continuously, along with his Battalion and his Brigade, for 137 days. This number is accurate as the Battalion entered the lines in the Ypres sector on the night of September 23, 1915 and the total days in active service until the date of the letter (written February 6, 1916) is precisely 137 days. Perhaps it was this attention to detail that would help him earn promotion to the rank of lieutenant.

Huron Expositor. March 10, 1916. Page 1.

Huron Expositor. March 10, 1916. Page 1.

His letter relates to the Battalion’s experiences before the battle at St. Eloi Craters as the Battalion is stationed in the Ridgewood Sector of Ypres during the latter half of January 1916 and is full of interesting points:

From the Front

The following letter was written by Pte. Wes. Caldwell, of the 18th Battalion, and whose home is in Hensall. He is well known in Clinton, having attended the Collegiate Institute there, before enlisting for overseas service. The letter is dated Belgium, Feb. 6, 1916[ii], as follows:

Dear Friend, — Am sitting beside a machine gun in a redoubt about 200 yards from the front line. Was transferred to the section about 10 days ago. We spent six days in the front line, then the next six here in the redoubt followed by another six in the front line, then we got into divisional reserve for the next six; thus taking twenty-four days for the round trip.

Our last term in the front line was rather exciting. Our bomb throwers had been aggravating the Germans all one night and they began to retaliate just before dawn. In all they must have sent over 150 rifle grenades and ball bombs on a frontage of 100 yards. Our gun was right in the midst of it, but fortunately none of the crew was injured. The parapet was blown flat in two places, but was speedily built up again that night.[iii]

The German rifle-grenade is much feared as it not only contains a very high explosive but also much heavy shrapnel. Their hand grenades are not so dangerous. There was a ball bomb exploded within ten feet of me one night but I was only scratched in a couple of places. The explosion lifted me clear off my feet but I came to earth again almost unhurt. The narrow escapes that some fellows have are nothing short of marvellous.

There is no danger of the Germans ever advancing any farther on the Western front. We are holding them with the greatest possible ease by a triple line that cannot be broken.

Our supply of munitions is fast mounting up in a supply which will be inhaustable [sic] before long; then the great offensive will commence, which will make the world sit up and take notice.

The cost of attempting to advance without the necessary munitions and supplies to back it up has been proven before. The people at home are wondering why we are not making more headway. The reason for that, is that, the Allies have already lost too many good men of account of the lack of artillery and shells. We are only waiting the time when nearly all the defences can be blown to pieces by artillery fire, when a general advance is made. Destructive bayonet charges are soon to be a thing of the past. Our artillery is now vastly superior to that of the enemy, in fact, the German batteries are almost afraid to open up for fear of the awful retaliation given them by our batteries.

Sniping is a great feature in trench warfare. We have one old sniper who is a regular Indian at the game. I believe he would scalp his victims if he could.

Am feeling as well as can be expected but the whole brigade is in need of a rest. We have created a new record for continuous service in the trenches. We have held this frontage for 137 days, which is 20 days longer than any brigade in the British Army has ever served without a rest, and we are still holding it.

Hoping you are well, I remain,

Sincerely,

W.S. Caldwell

The letter is addressed to a “friend” giving the only clue to who the audience is. The letter is pretty frank as to the experiences Private Caldwell has, even relating a close call with a German grenade. Perhaps it is a friend from the Clinton Collegiate? It is, perhaps, more casual and informative than a letter written to his parents and one wonders what they thought, if this was the case, if they read the letter in the newspaper.

Though the letter is dated February 6, 1916 this date may refer to a post mark. As Private Caldwell states, specifically, that he is “…sitting beside a machine gun in a redoubt about 200 years from the front line,” it can be surmised that the writing of the letter occurred while the Battalion was in the line in the La Clytte/Vierstraat sector and that the letter was posted when the Battalion went off the line into Brigade Reserve at Ridgewood on February 2, 1916. He relates the nature of the rotation of the battalions from front line to support line (redoubt), and then reserve line, though it appears that the Battalion cycled back and forth between front and support lines twice before it was moved to divisional reserve.

From this and the following paragraph it appears that Private Caldwell has been assigned to serve a machine gun. The Lewis Gun did not become part of the equipment of a Canadian Battalion until July 1916. It is possible that Private Caldwell was part of a Colt Machine Gun crew. The initial battalion allotment was two-guns per battalion.

Soldiers aiming a 1914-Model Colt Machine Gun, December 1914. Canadian War Museum, 199900004-171.

He relates, in some detail, an incident where the 18th Battalion was interdicting the German trenches with grenades. It is not clear why type of grenades being “thrown” by the Canadians but, as the grenades sent by the Germans in reply for the ‘aggravation’ created by the men of the 18th, it appears that the distance between the Canadian and German lines was such that the Canadian probably were using rifle grenades or some method to launch percussion grenades. The Germans replied with their Karabingranate M 1914 rifle grenade and the “ball bomb” Kugelhandgranate 1915 (a round grenade fired with launchers and timed fuses). It is interesting to note that Private Caldwell, or other men of the Battalion could identify the nature of the grenades during the action.[iv] The Karabingranate M 1914 rifle grenade, “…is much feared as it not only contains a very high explosive but also much heavy shrapnel,” while the Kugelhandgranate 1915, “…is not so dangerous.” Yet, it is this exact grenade whose, “…explosion lifted me clear off my feet but I came to earth again almost unhurt.” A touch of youthful bravado expressed in the letter. It was, perhaps with concern for those at home may take alarm at this last story, that Private Caldwell relates that this is, apparently, part of a series of “narrow escapes” and that their number makes these escapes “marvelous.” No matter how marvelous these escapes may be it is certain Caldwell’s parents would not take heart at the number of them, regardless if they were marvelous.

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An interesting note is he alludes to the fragile nature of the type and design of trenches in his sector. The parapet was, most likely, layers of sandbags above earth grade. The water table in this sector was very high and many of the trenches were shallow digs with walls of sandbags making up the construction of the trench as protection for the soldiers. This trench was subject to tiresome maintenance to keep it in good shape.

Note the shallowness of the trench and the multiple layers of sandbags about grade. ‘D’ Company, 1st Battalion, The Prince of Wales’s Leinster Regiment (Royal Canadians), in the front-line at St. Eloi, 1915./

Private Caldwell then touches on his assessment of the war to date and relates that the First World War will be, essentially to achieve tactical success, a war of artillery. His statement: “Destructive bayonet charges are soon to be a thing of the past,” is a recognition that the use of edged weapons will not be the primary agent of death in battle. But the inculcation of the use of bayonet through the bayonet courses and training to encourage aggression and élan in combat was so strong that the concept of the bayonet in the hands of a soldier as a weapon of fear is slow to die. Event after two years of war.

His reference, albeit, brief, to sniping, is of interest and the reference to, “…one old sniper who is a regular Indian at the game,” is not clear in its meaning. Is the sniper an aboriginal soldier or is the soldier that is sniping acting like a “regular Indian” in his use of tactics, concealment, and shooting. Note that sniping developed into a 2-man team based role and Private Caldwell does not reference another member of the team, so it is not clear if this sniper is working alone, or Caldwell simply does not mention the observer’s role in sniping.

He is obviously proud of the 4th Brigade’s achievement to the total time it spent in the line. This constant exposure to the weather and the stress of combat would require the C.E.F. to later modify the rotation of battalions and brigades as the war progressed. During this time (September to February) the 18th Battalion suffered 34 men fatalities, almost all due to combat. It was a precursor to the experiences the Battalion would experience at St. Eloi and the Somme, but at a much lower intensity than those actions.

Private Caldwell was to survive the war and several other letters from him were published in the local papers. This letter is rich in detail and information and allows one to experience part of his past. It would be interesting to exam the other letters and see how his point-of-view and tone changes as he becomes older and takes on the responsibilities of an officer.

Caldwell was to become an officer and returned to the 18th Battalion and served in that capacity until he was gassed during the Battalion’s engagement at Passchendaele on November 8, 1917. He would survive the war and return to Canada and live until 1972.

[i] Private Wesley Strang Caldwell, reg. no. 53661. Ref. RG 150, Accession 1992-93/166, Box 1387 – 56 Item Number: 82005

[ii] The Battalion was in Brigade Reserve at Ridgewood, Ypres Sector, Belgium when this letter was written. The 18th Battalion war diary relates for that day: -Ditto- [Routine] Communion service was held at 11 a.m. CAPT. HALE proceeded on leave. It appears that Caldwell started the letter some days before he dated it.

[iii] Note the accompanying images. Due to the high water table, the trenches in the Ypre sector were often not very deep and the “trench” height was maintained by several layers of sandbags.

[iv] The author is almost CERTAIN he would be under cover and would not make any effort to identify the type of grenade being used against him.

“The parapet was blown flat in two places…” Private (later Lieutenant) Wesley Strang Caldwell[i] was yet to earn the Military Medal for his actions at Courcelette, the Somme, when this letter was published in the Huron Expositor on March 10, 1916.

[blahblahemblem]

heroes barracks tour: fliers

same as last time, but with a different unit type!

note: I wrote this about a week ago, lol. I haven’t changed anything since then.

Fliers are probably my favourite unit type right now. The reason is quite simple – their unparallelled mobility makes them highly flexible and allows them to pull off feats that other movement type teams can only dream of. I’m also very lucky in that I managed to acquire all 3 of the currently existing ranged fliers. As of the moment I’m typing this, my main flier team is my arena offence and defence (Michalis is a bonus unit <3). It’s also only thanks to them that I cleared Chain Challenge 11 & 12 (namely, they got me through the chapter 11 bit), and I’ve been liberally using them to clear Infernals of various BHBs and GHBs.

(Note from today: using a mixed team with Michalis on it during the first week of the Winter’s Envoy bonus set, I was able to get into tier 20 for the first time with a score of 4890!)

5* builds

+spd -hp

Random pitybreaker from Ylissean Summer. The story is as follows:

Mercifully this was only at 3,25%.

I’d not spent any effort on her yet at all aside from throwing her the Iceberg. She doesn’t even have enough SP to learn Fortify Fliers which she comes with.

Usage: None whatsoever. Her attack is pitifully low to the point that she does awfully against units she’s supposed to counter because she can’t ORKO them and she takes massive damage in return. Admittedly she could do some mage countering. But she doesn’t.

Future improvements: I have grand plans for poor Caeda. I intend on giving her a Wo Dao+ and refining it for extra MT. As for passives, the good ole Fury Desperation combo. Then she could either do massive damage through Iceberg while also being capable of charging it a bit by soaking up magic hits, or inherit Moonbow to go and go to town on that. Unfortunately that’s quite a long way away because I don’t even have any Athenas anymore and when I do pull one there’s a very long queue for those feathers.

+atk –res

Pulling Nowi was nothing short of a miracle which you can see here under Henry’s section. It’s especially amazing in her case because the reason I only had 9 orbs ready for a limited units banner was that I’d blown all of them trying to get Hinoka, you know, the girl famous for being the only permanent source of Hone Fliers.

I don’t see any reason to change her default build. I quite like Atk/Res Bond as Nowi is glued to other units all the time anyway. Hone Fliers is a given. Renewal keeps her HP in range of Grimoire’s passive effect (which is amazing and I love it on Nowi but Takumi really doesn’t need it).

Usage: As the only carrier of Hone Fliers in my barracks, Nowi is essential to my flier team, so I’ve been working her to the bone since the moment she got here.

Improvements: I don’t have access to Renewal 3.

+spd –res

I had promoted her before I decided to make this account my main, as part of my now realised effort to own a 5* copy of every unit in the game. It’s kind of a funny coincidence that Shanna just now experienced a rise in popularity thanks to the Voting Gauntlet. Personally I’m currently not a very big fan of Shanna even though there’s nothing wrong with her, a fact that has absolutely nothing to do with loving Takumi too much and being bitter.

Usage: She has over 1k HM mostly thanks to the time when she was one of my very few trained 5* units and I had to rely on her in the first two Tempest Trials. I haven’t been using her often lately (see above). When I finally get over myself, I will continue my attempts to create a mixed team with her and BK.

Improvements: She has Firesweep Lance+, LaD2, and Drive Def 2 inherited but lacks the SP. She also needs an assist.

+atk –hp

My first free 5* summon on this account, coming from the Ephraim & Eirika’s BHB banner.

So far this is just her default build. I’ve been focusing on units that fit specifically on monotype teams, so Tana, who would of course be better off on a mixed team so Guidance doesn’t go wasted, has been left behind.

Usage: See above. I do take her out for AA quite a lot because I can then use her to Guidance-drop an armour somewhere convenient.

Improvements: She has Hit & Run and Swap inherited but not learned. I’m also planning on giving her Close Defence from the second Joshua so I can take advantage of Vidofnir’s passive effect.

+spd –hp

First summon from Nohrian Summer; too bad that one was before free summons became a thing. It came as quite the convenience since I was planning on promoting a Cordelia anyway (I had a +atk 4* one in my barracks).

Another constant presence on my main flier team, although unfortunately also the most expendable, as the bulk of player-phase damage is handled by the mages and she can’t tank at all.

Usage: Maxed HM. As part of my flier team, she is fielded very very often, but, again, she is also the member with the lowest kill count. Fortify Fliers is a very big contribution on her part however, as pretty much everybody else on the team appreciates it, and so is Reposition.

Improvements: Merging her might not be a bad idea since she’s so common, but I’m just not feeling it yet so that’s up in the air. LaD3 is also something she probably wants, but I’m not going to give it to her unless I pull a Minerva again by accident; even then it’d probably go to Shanna first over her. Death Blow is on the table, but there are no Kleins available and she’s not a priority for it.

+atk –res

I suffered for her so fucking much. I hit a 5% rate on Nohrian Summer and have given up twice along the way. It was all so fuCKING WORTH IT

I don’t hide the fact that I fucking hate Corrin as a character with a passion, but honestly I love my summer Corrin a lot. She has pretty art and an adorable chibi sprite and she’s the deadly centrepiece of my Flier Emblem. I can’t believe Heroes made me feel positive emotions towards Corrin but here we are.

Build is as standard as it gets, monotype team bladetome nuke.

Usage: Maxed HM, honestly after what I said above you can already infer that she’s one of my most used units

Improvements: I could give her Fury but her default Swift Strike has been working well for me thus far so I see no real reason to.

+2, neutral (obviously)

HIM

I don’t know why but I’m in love with this stupid edgelord. I had him promoted kind of just to promote a GHB unit on my old main and ended up getting very attached and promoted him again when I switched to this account the first chance I got. Now he’s my first deliberate merging project. I gave him a Hector. He’s my pride and joy and my favourite unit (sorry to any tacos that were hurt by this).

I absolutely adore the Hauteclere upgrade as well, because it lets me do so much amazing bullshit, like this:

Usage: LOL

Improvements: I missed one copy of him during his first rerun so unfortunately I’ll only be able to merge him to +3 for now, but you bet your ass I’m going to keep merging when we get more copies. QR3 is in the plans as well. Aether is a distant possibility.

neutral

She’s the reason I don’t have Hinoka. I got her off Flier Boost Skills when there were no blue orbs. I got Nowi literally the next minute though, so it’s fine, I’m glad to have Minerva now.

I’ve literally just thrown DF and Desperation at her default build so far. I may be happy I have Minerva, but I haven’t used her much yet.

Usage: See above.

Improvements: Needs SP to learn Desp 3 and Ward Fliers. Needs an assist. Once I get around to upgrading her Hauteclere (and believe me there’s quite the line ahead of her), I might go for the touted Moonbow spam build instead of building up a big nuke with DF. That’s her brother’s domain (see above).

+atk –hp

Cherche’s Brave build is quite famous and I like her so I made it happen, end of story.

Usage: I’ve been busy with my main team on which Michalis reigns supreme so I haven’t got around to doing anything with her yet after she learned the important skills. I might consider replacing Cordy with her once she learns Fortify if only so that somebody keeps earning HM, but we shall see.

Improvements: Needs SP for Fortify Fliers. I might give her one merge for that one extra point of atk. Might also give her Desperation once I get around to upgrading the Brash Assault seal so I can try that bucket of fun out.

+hp –def

I got two Hectors and a Deirdre from Fjorm’s banner. I decided to give up. Then I had some orbs and an itch to try again. There was one green orb and it was Cammy.

Now that I have her I have zero clue what to do with her. Right now I’m leaning towards Gronnblade, but I don’t have any Ninos at all. We’ll see I guess.

Usage: None yet

Improvements: Different tome, different assist, passives, everything basically

Lower rarity builds and merge projects

neutral

Palla has served me very well as the designated red flier on my makeshift 10th stratum quests team up until I pulled h!Nowi. Yes, I was using this free Palla we got from those Whitewings quests ages ago over my 5* Caeda with good IVs, because well. Palla can tank, and has Goad Fliers. She’s sort of retired now, but I’m considering making some kind of 5* build for her if I get one with good IVs. I’m thinking of capitalising on her good bulk since the other two sword fliers are more glass-cannon like. (Not that I’m about to get an Elincia any time soon...)

+2, +def –res

More bulk, this time in green. I’m sitting on a ton of 3* Berukas, but I don’t really want to spend extra feathers since aside from Glimmer which is still a questionable choice despite the lower cooldown she has nothing to offer as inheritance. Anyway, once I get her past +7 one way or another I will be giving her a Slaying Axe+ from a promoted version of herself. At some point. She’s on the list somewhere.

+10, +atk –forgot

Est haunts my dreams. I just merged all of them to get rid of the plague in my barracks and now I have this. Now, at 3* +10, she has the same raw stats as a 5* of her would, and in fact even has +1 to HP and def. She’s never getting a 5* weapon or expensive inherits unless I’m overrun with pitybreaker Abels, but she might prove to be a good asset in a pinch. With a simple Brave Lance, Atk+3 in A slot and the Atk+3 seal that’s 49x2 atk before buffs. If only I would bother to train her...

Not pictured:

Narcian’s default build is excellent for niche AA usage, but I haven’t needed him in a while. Valter is still untrained. Both of them are going to be kept around for HM purposes and because of GHB quests, but neither are getting any merges. I don’t know what I’m going to do with Panic Ploy yet but I want it as an option, and Lancebreaker 3 is obvious.

[rosenmarille]

rosenmarille’s embroidery tutorial

hey anon you made my entire week and i love you

Let me preface this by saying that I’m in no way an expert and I’ve literally only been doing this for less than a month, so most of what I do is making it up as I go along. hopefully you find my tips helpful though!! <3

I wasnt sure which part you wanted to know about so i made a rundown of everything from start to end

1) List of things you’ll need:

Embroidery frame (I just went to the nearest crafts store and got them in two sizes. Theyre quite cheap and sometimes also come in plastic or different shapes)

Fabric (the less stretchy the better, though if youre planning to decorate clothing I think it really depends on how determined you are. what ive got here is some leftover polyester fabric from cosplay and other sewing projects. you can even sew different pieces together if one isnt big enough for the frame but in that case you need to iron the sewed piece flat or else it will be very difficult to keep straight and neat)

Embroidery yarn (see pic) (theres two types, and ive only used pearl yarn (top) so far but the other one allows for more precision since you can pick how many strands of yarn you need)

Needle (see pic) (properly pointy, not like the crappy one above. I mainly use that for crochet things because it actually bends and that’s NOT what you want here)

Scissors and a pencil

2) Sketch: Pick an image of what you want to do. I’ve found that at first, practicing with basic shapes and colours is a lot easier to get used to the whole thing, it helps give you a feel of how the yarn ends up looking stitched to the fabric. So far I almost only did screenshots, and I didn’t have to draw something up myself. In mobs case, I based it off a doodle I did in class and added a little colour to it 

3) Pick fabric and yarn: That’s mainly up to you, depends on what youre going for, but as a fair warning, very light fabric colours will show the stitches and leftover yarn from behind, so you need to tuck them behind the main body of your embroidery later on

4) Apply to fabric: 2 ways, both pretty much self explanatory, only heres where the stretchiness of the fabric comes into play. As you can see ive developed a fool proof technique, ive had tape stuck to the top of my laptop for weeks now, im not about to waste it? (use more than one tape, this is an old pic i took because the concept was hilarious in the moment) Pro tip: don’t draw your sketch on paper advertising dnd game sets because youre gonna have a hard time seeing the pattern through everything and youll curse yourself for doing that instead of paying attention in class  Pro tip 2: dark fabrics demand a white colour pencil, you literally wont be able to see anything else

5) Stitches: heres a LINK to the page I use to find all the different stitches I could possibly use. Practice makes perfect, i spent about two hours trying each of these out on an irrelevant piece of fabric to see how theyd work and how difficult they are, and still use that bit as ref to consider how a stitch would look on my current piece. Of these, ive only used about three in my finished broids, since theyre mostly for decorative things I think. Don’t let that stop you though, get creative and use the things im too lazy to incorporate!! (ill be using these terms for the rest of the tutorial, so if you dont know a word its probably in there)

6) Outlines/shading: Start by outlining your sketch with a few backstitches to get a feel for where everything needs to be. If theres shading then itd be useful to do those lines in the other colour already, or youre going to have to fix all that later and itll be a huge pain and make you want to stop altogether. It happens

Im not sure if that’s how its supposed to work but I fill in the shades first, it gives me a good sense of what direction the main colour stitches need to go to make it look dynamic.

7) Fill in mains: This is where all those handy dandy stitches from that library probably wont help you too much if you want to do something relatively simple. Ive only used normal satin stitches to fill in colour so far, though what the link doesn’t mention is that it wastes a shitton of yarn. Yarn is expensive, so what you can do is come up for point 3 not back next to 1 but instead next to 2. Warning: that does warp the way the yarn lies though, so use that one accordingly (for example: I do Not use it when doing small delicate places, or things that need to be detailed in general)

Mob was fairly simple as far as that went since i didnt add a lot of pattern, but ritsu is a little more complicated. Like i said earlier, adding shade before the main colour helps because now i know where the folds in his clothes are and how the fabric would bend to accommodate it.

8) Add details (like faces!):

Again, here I cant tell you exactly how you need to stitch to get everything looking good, just try to follow the way a face has its dynamics. Is it a long face, make lots of long vertical stitches, is it a round one, try to stick to the edges (but don’t spiral)

Facial features are a little more difficult because its hard to make a round nub or dots for pupils on something very small but its better to try 5 times and get it right the 6th instead of leaving the 1st try (i took ritsus entire face apart at least 3 times and t b q h i still think it doesnt look good but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

9) Background: Get real fancy on that shit, heres where you can try out those cool rose shaped stitches from up there in the link, go wild lol

10) Lastly: PATIENCE

I cant stress this enough, this WILL take a loooot of time, the first ritsu I did took me a literal week, while the second one took me roughly four hours in total (and that was a rather simple design). 

Accept the fact that it wont look as good as you imagined it. That may sound harsh but for me that’s been my main issue, imagining how a string would lie exactly and then looking on in disgust when that doesn’t work out. You’re not drawing, the medium doesn’t exactly translate, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Try to figure out what methods work best for embroidery exclusively. 

Don’t be afraid to undo, be careful about it though. I use those big scissors and it’s a bad idea, don’t do that. Unpicking from the back to save the yarn also works but it gets difficult (and at some point impossible) once the strands start getting woven together on their own

And there you have it, a finished piece of embroidery!! 

You can now either hang it up in its frame and cut away the excess fabric at the sides or tie it around a piece of cardboard like so. it’s a little hard to get right at first but practice amiright

I hope i could be of help!! if you have any more questions feel free to come to my ask anytime!! ^^ <33 

[lithugraph]

92 Things

I got tagged by @gummyboots

Thanks, it was fun!

I guess I’ll tag @niniel-kirkland and whoever else that sees this and wants to do it (totally optional, as always).

LAST:

1. Drink:

wine

2. Phone call:

My husband

3. Text message:

My two best friends

4. Song you listened to:

Death Cab for Cutie: “You Are a Tourist”

 5. Time you cried:

Why do these things always want to know this!?  I’m not a crier, all right?  I do get choked up at things, but I rarely cry.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice:

No.  If I didn’t like you the first time, why would I like you the second?

7. Kissed someone and regretted it:

Yes.

8. Been cheated on:

Not…that I know of?  (And don’t really care)

9. Lost someone special:

Who hasn’t?

10. Been depressed:

College.  Round 1. Sophomore year.  I don’t even like thinking about it now.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:

Ugh, yes.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14:

Sea green, purple, stormy sky grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends:

Yes.

16. Fallen out of love:

Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried:

Yass.

18. Found out someone was talking about you:

No.

19. Met someone who changed you:

no

20. Found out who your friends are:

I’ve always known who my friends are

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:

Yes (see #2)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:

All of them.  If I don’t know you in real life, I’m not gonna accept your FB friend request.

23. Do you have any pets:

2 cats.

24. Do you want to change your name:

I wanted to when I was younger, but I’m too used to it now (and I think it fits me)

25. What did you do for your last Birthday:

Dude, I don’t even know.  My birthday is New Year’s Day.  It’s hard getting people together who aren’t hungover, okay?

26. What time did you wake up:

5:30 am.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night:

Sound asleep – first time in daaaaaays!

28. Name something you can’t wait for:

Summer session to end.  Also, Thor: Ragnarok – the previews look so badass!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom:

July 4th holiday

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:

Nothing.  Every time I think of something I wish I could change, I think of all the ways experiencing that thing has benefitted me.  Retrospect, I guess.

31. What are you listening to right now:

Of Monsters and Men: “Lionheart”

 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:

Yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves:

Nicotine withdrawal

34. Most visited website:

google

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: 

I totally have the APH Austria chin mole, y’all.

36. Mark/s: 

Like from surgery, or stitches?  ‘Cuz I have quite a few of those.  Two on my left hand and two on my chin.  

 37. Childhood dream:

Finding dinosaur bones

 38. Hair color:

Auburn

39. Long or short hair:

Some people would call my hair short (it’s chin length), but to me, it’s long, lol!

40. Do you have a crush on someone:

I watched the Assassin’s Creed movie just for Michael Fassbender, okay?

41. What do you like about yourself:

Everything.

42. Piercings:

Ears.

43. Blood type:

A-

44. Nickname:

Rammstein

45. Relationship status:

See #2

46. Zodiac:

Capricorn

47. Pronouns:

I / Me

48. Favorite TV Show:

The Americans, Deutschland 83, Doctor Who, Band of Brothers, Sherlock, Downton Abbey, Supernatural, Farscape, Battlestar Galactica

49. Tattoos:

Yes.

50. Right or left hand:

right

51. Surgery:

Yep – left index finger.

52. Hair dyed in different color:

My hair has been every shade of red imaginable.  Also a silvery blonde that I rocked for almost two years, but it was murder on my wallet and my scalp.

53. Sport:

I played soccer in elementary school, and I don’t mind watching it either. Fencing is one I’ve always wanted to learn.  And I love to run, I just have no time for it right now.

55. Vacation:

What is a vacation?

56. Pair of trainers:

Converse, Converse, and more Converse

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating:

Not right now, but I’m probably gonna have some chips later.

58. Drinking:

Wine.

59. I’m about to:

Post this.

61. Waiting for:

Whether or not I got this scholarship

62. Want:

To get the scholarship!

63. Get married:

See #2

64. Career:

Web development or cybersecurity – preferably penetration testing/ethical hacking

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses:

How about shaking hands?  (Not a fan of physical contact)

66. Lips or eyes:

Eyes.

67. Shorter or taller:

Taller

68. Older or younger:

Older.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach:

IDGAF – if I think you’re attractive, you’re attractive

71. Sensitive or loud:

Sensitive – I get over stimulated by loud noises easily

72. Hook up or relationship:

either

73. Troublemaker or hesitant:

Hesitant – though I can be very spontaneous, so long as it goes exactly as I planned ;)

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger:

No.

75. Drank hard liquor:

Yes.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:

Nope.

77. Turned someone down:

…probably?  Wait..yes. Yes, I have.  But in my defense, I had no idea I was being asked out to begin with, so….

78. Sex on the first date:

That’s a no for me.

79. Broken someone’s heart:

Yes.

80. Had your heart broken:

No….because I have no heart to break, ha!

81. Been arrested:

No.

82. Cried when someone died:

Yes.

83. Fallen for a friend:

Yes.  My life in high school, summed up right there.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself:

Always.

85. Miracles:

Maaaaaaybeeee?

 86. Love at first sight:

So, funny story:  When I first “met” my husband, I was at your typical college house party.  I knew no one there, save my best friend and her boyfriend.  Well, when I got there, she was nowhere to be seen, but I happened to bump into her boyfriend who told me she was consoling a friend of theirs who had just been dumped. Fast forward a bit, I find my best friend, and after a drink or two, I’m feeling more relaxed, so we go hunt down some grub left out on the patio buffet.  Hiding on the patio (everyone else was inside by now) was the guy she had been consoling earlier.  Despite my growing inebriation, I take one look at this guy and have this single thought flash through my head: “That’s the man you’re gonna marry.”  I push it away, namely because I was enjoying being single and at the time, he reminded me too much of my ex, so I avoided him and didn’t even talk to him that night.  I didn’t even know his name yet.  Fast forward four years later, and that thought that flashed through my head that night came true.  Go figure. Was it “love at first sight” or some freaky premonition?

87. Santa Claus:

I used to.  And yes, I still critique the Santas at the mall.  I mean, if you’re gonna dress up like Saint Nick, you need to legit look the part.

88. Kiss on the first date:

Sure.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: 

Not giving their names even though they’re not on here, sorry.

 91. Eye color:

Chestnut brown

92. Favorite movie:

These movies, I can watch over and over again: The Pianist, Midnight in Paris, Moana, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney version), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, District 9, Star Wars IV, V, VI, and VII, and Hunger Games – all 4 movies.

[rjhg53ji-blog]

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