#jacks too much of a nerd to register getting scared

[the-kings-of-games]

Okay, so I hc that being a humanities major, Jack loves movies, and most of all, he loves horror movies. Sure, they're scary, but really he's there for the production value, the storyline, the characters, the technique, etc., etc. That being said, Crow and Yūsei are huge scaredy cats when it comes to horror movies. When they agreed to movie nights, they didn't think that they'd have to watch all these horror flicks because of Jack, but they never skip, trying to be supportive and prove they're not actually scared.

With that in mind, what if Jack got a horror flick buddy, and it's Akiza? xD She's at Poppo Time past dinnertime for tutoring from Yūsei, and Crow's just got back from dropping the twins back home. That's when Jack makes his move.

Jack: It's movie night, and it's my turn to pick. Put away the books and get on the couch.

Crow: [sweating] Ne, Jack, we invited Akiza to stay tonight. A horror movie might be too much. [Forced laughter]

Yūsei: [stiff]

Jack: Hmm, is someone a little scared? [Smirks] But if you want to be so courteous . . . Akiza, how are you about horror movies?

Akiza: I . . .

Crow: [frantic] You can be completely honest. Jack will understand if it isn't your thing. Maybe you like romantic dramas, like Pride and Prejudice!

Jack: No, you like romantic dramas.

Yūsei: o_o;

Akiza: I . . . I love horror movies. ✨_✨

Yūsei: [hides face in hands]

Crow: [swallows audibly] Y-You do?

Jack: ✨_✨

Jack: She'll make a great addition tonight. Second question: How do you feel about zombies?

Akiza: Jack, that is my favorite monster.

Jack: [rubs hands together] Spec-ta-cu-lar.

They watch something like Kingdom: Ashina of the North or Train to Busan or something that night. Jack and Akiza are enjoying themselves—Crow and Yūsei are trying to hide behind Jack, jolting at every scream and jump scare. xD (Jack's holding onto them.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

happy getting hitched day! 1.9k, (sort of) ft. this

Most days of the year, Sam's the optimist.

It doesn't usually fall on Dean to keep the spirits up in times of war anymore. Or worse, loss. And Dean, well, he thinks himself as enough of an in-the-moment kinda guy to not wallow when everything's not going to shit, right friggin' then.

Sam, on the other hand?

Beacon of light when there's a little Hell to raise, harbinger of hope when there's a God to defeat.

And losing his shit entirely when there's an aisle to walk down, leading to the girl of his dreams and the best decision of his life.

"Dean."

Dean fusses around Sam in compact little semicircles fixing his already perfect tux, while his brother panics in a way Dean only remembers from before the kid stopped having to look up at Dean.

But he's looking down at Dean now, wide-eyed and sweaty like the very first time Dean saw him off on a date when he was fourteen — with supple, bullshit eighteen-year-old advice, he bets — and thirty eight year old Sammy is, clear as day, losing his shit.

"Yeah?" Dean channels all the calm he's got into it.

"What if I forget my vows?"

"Well," Dean lifts his eyebrows, and picks up a linen thread from Sam's shoulder that caught his eye. "First of all, would kinda serve you right for writing six pages worth of them."

"Stop being a —"

"Front and back, Sammy. Front and back."

"Dean." Sam glares, more indignant than mad. Dean rolls his eyes, and Sam continues, replacing the look immediately with a troubled one that reflects the dilemma in his voice. "I mean, I've learned them, of course. At least I think I have — I practised twice last night, once this morning — but what's to stop me from fumbling, or forgetting —"

"Your gigantic nerd brain?"

"This is serious." Sam frowns, levelling another look at Dean like he's the one with the stellar proverbial cold feet. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean throws back immediately, and pauses in his shuffling around for effect. "Also, no. No, it isn't." And Sam goes to argue with a bitchface already surfacing, but Dean keeps going, sterner, more confident. This is something he's been doing all his life. He can probably talk the kid down from a panic high like this in his sleep. "And you're going to stop being a dumbass, and listen to what I'm saying."

"'M not a dumbass." Sam mutters.

"Yeah, you are." Dean shrugs, completely nonchalant, and Sam laughs in spite of himself, nervous, but a welcome improvement as he waits for Dean to proceed. (Big brother voice never lets Dean down.)

He's still got it.

"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get out there," Dean continues, smiling now. "You're going to hold Eileen's hand while the minister marries you. And approximately ten to fifty minutes later, when he asks you to, you're going to look into her eyes, and you're going to say your vows. All stupid six pages of them, verbatim, 'cause I know you, and you're going to that's why."

"They're not stupid."

Dean hums in consideration, then smirks. "There's bravery in acceptance. They probably are."

"Cas called them exquisite." Sam crosses his arms, and Dean uses the opportunity to pick up a hair from his sleeve with a disapproving look.

(Dean had offered to give him a haircut seventeen times and gotten turned down, and now Sam was shedding.)

"Yeah, well, he's a walking-talking scrabble board with good manners, what is he supposed to do?" Dean rolls his eyes but instead of the expected response of Sam snarking back at him, bitchfacing him or something, Sam sighs.

The air thickens with something that's probably a bigger deal than having to wing a couple paragraphs of page three of the vows.

Dean watches Sam fidget with the buttons on his cuff.

"How did you know, Dean?" Sam asks, subdued, after a pause. "How did you know that Cas wasn't — that Cas wasn't making a horribly wrong decision."

Dean's almost halfway to making a joke about the other shoe but he stops himself.

Because this?

This, he gets.

This feeling of thinking — knowing — you're not good enough, that you aren't right for the one you love, that you're somehow deceiving everything that your life has stood as proof of, in allowing someone else to bind themselves to you, forever, when you know that everyone who's ever meant something to you has lost, and died, and hurt.

And that is exactly why he also knows what to say.

"Because I trust him, Sammy."

Sam's eyes start glazing over. "I trust her too. I just, I'm just so scared —"

Dean winces at his words.

(That's Sam, but it's Sam in Dean's shoes. It was Dean's job — for better or for worse — to keep him safe. And he's failed, failed repeatedly, and now Sam — well, he's as broken as Dean.)

"I love her too much for anything to go wrong, Dean, and something — no, everything, always goes wrong." Sam grits his teeth, and Dean puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Squeezes. "I get it. I swear to you, I do. But I also promise that you might regret the things we've done, and the things that have been done to us, but you're never going to regret this."

Sam nods jerkily, eyes downcast.

"And I get being scared. Hell, I was more scared than you the entire week, dude. But you know how — and why, I pushed through?" Sam looks up again. "Because at the end of all of this, there's something more important than the promises of eternal happiness, and forever, and the Celine Dion lyrics I know you've stuffed in your vows. There's them. The ones we love."

Dean swallows.

"And who love us too, because our fucked up heads be damned, I've seen the way she looks at you, Sammy." Sam's face breaks into a small, wet smile. "So you better believe she does."

"I do." Sam slowly nods, again, eyes brimmed with tears.

(Probably about to start spilling. The only consolation for Dean is that at least his tears don't fall. Means as long as he doesn't mind a blurry view of everything, he might as well ignore their existence like he means it.)

"There, was that so hard?" Dean laughs instead, although it's weak until Sam joins in, surprised, and only then registering the words he just spoke.

"Thank you, Dean."

Is all he says, and anything Dean might've wished to say (or wisecrack) back at him is dismissed immediately because he's being pulled into a full Winchester hug by his door-sized little brother, and all he can do then is hold onto Sam as tight as he's holding him, and hold on.

(Because they made it.

They found free will, they found love, and they found their happy ending.)

Because Sammy's getting married today.

And they don't just get to be okay anymore. They get to be happy.

Sam doesn't pull back from the hug for at least a whole minute, but Dean doesn't mind, because the tears welling up in his eyes are gone when he finally smiles at Dean, earnest. "I'm —" He starts to say, but gets interrupted by Cas walking up to them with a cluster of carnations in his hand, wearing a rich navy blue tux (the same as Dean's) and a wide smile.

"Hope I didn't interrupt anything," Cas beams, knowing exactly what he walked in on, and Sam shakes his head courteously while Dean battles the weirdly overwhelming need to kiss him right there — Cas is almost ridiculously beautiful when he's happy.

(He doesn't, though.

Cause he and Sam may've just had a moment but it's not like that means he'd be any less likely to be a pain in the ass about urgently requiring brain bleach and therapy, if Dean did.)

Cas carries on.

"Actually, Eileen's friend, Cara, brought her flowers and she suggested I should bring some to you."

"A corsage." Dean realizes out loud, beginning to grin at once, while Sam resorts to ducking his head like an overgrown teenage girl on her way to prom. Doesn't mean that Dean absolutely doesn't put on his best chickflick Dad voice (after he's taken over pinning the flowers to Sam's pocket from Cas, cause he was doing it wrong) and pat the corsage when he says, "Get 'er home by ten."

"The dynamics of that are all wrong." Sam points out with a traditional Sam smirk, and yeah, he's okay.

"The dynamics of your face are all wrong."

"Great comeback, yeah." Sam snorts, and Cas smiles. "Points for effort. I think."

"Whatever, you're the one wearing flowers right now."

"Dean, you wore an ascot on our wedding day."

"Ascot trumps flowers!"

"No, it doesn't." Sam bitchfaces, and Dean turns to Cas, and —

"No, it doesn't."

And Sam lets out a victorious "Hah!", and high-fives a (only slightly) confused looking Cas before pulling him into a sasquatch-sized hug as well, while Dean rewards the entire ordeal with a heartfelt eyeroll and absolutely doesn't look on at two of the most important people in his life while he pretends to be bristled about being ganged up against on his special day as Best Man.

Cas and Sam separate sooner than Dean and he did, and just in time for Jack to poke his head out the church door and remind them they're ready.

Then, Cas leaves to get Eileen, with another big smile and a signed Congratulations at Sam, and a fleeting cheek-kiss for Dean.

Then, Sam and Dean get in position behind the door and Sam refixes his tie.

(Then, Dean has to stage-whisper "Jack!" about seven times before the kid realizes he's being cued — the band had just started playing, he makes it a point to try to explain to Dean afterwards — and the great, wooden doors finally swing open to reveal a beautiful white aisle, and dozens of their friends and family smiling from both sides of it.)

And then, Dean finally walks the kid he's raised and the brother he's saved the World with countless times, down the aisle.

*

(Sam only messes up once in his vows. It's the last verse of Thank You, by Celine Dion.

Rumor has it, it was intentional.

Something about the first time they met.

Dean tells Sam, "You're welcome", the next time he sees him.)

[geektrashfan]

"This is it Sam, I can feel myself fading"

"DEAN YOU CAN'T--"

"After everything we've been through, I can't--"

"Dean after everything we've been through, everyone we lost, you can't leave me alone, not like this--

Jack, if you're listening, PLEASE, just one last miracle, one last time"

Sam can see his brother's eyes droop, the light going slowly.

Not like this. We faced worse, you can't go like this

"Jack ple--"

He wasnt expecting to be cut off by a flash of bright light--

So much for a blaze of glory- a fucking vamp mime got him.

Dean feels the black closing in, his heart slowing, and the cliched flashes of life. The last is a flash of the familiar trench coat--

"How is he doing?" Eileen signs while putting down the coffee.

"Could be better, but yea he's out of danger"

"I'm sorry Sam, if I had been with you on the hunt I could have helped, I could ha--"

"May be you would have been dying too. We are no longer Chuck's favourites so who knows what could have happened. And I cant afford to see you both like this"

With a soft smile, Eileen cups Sam's face with a look that tells him 'things are going to be okay now'

"Hey, I have a thought. What do you think about not going out there? We can set up a base, we have the bunker, handle logistics and research" and I can be like Bobby

"Do you think it'll work?"

"Why not? We both know a normal apple pie life isn't for us, at least not for the Winchesters. And Garth managed it well, has a wife and kids. May be he could give me pointers on how to go about doing it."

"Getting a wife and kids?"

"A middle ground somewhat, but yea..the wife thing too"

"I guess it doesnt hurt to try..both"

When he opened his eyes, Dean was expecting cookie-cutter heaven (or greeted by Rowena). What he didnt expect was being back in his bed in the bunker, with the soft hairy mess of Miracle at his feet.

"What memory is this now?"

"It's not a memory Dean"

The low gravelly voice snapped him fully awake. There he was, on a chair beside Dean's bed, blue tie, trench coat, messy hair and suit-back in full form.

"Cas--is that really you? Are you really here?"

"Yes it's me" Cas stares into the green eyes

"I regret not coming sooner, heaven needed me."

"Heaven? You went back to heaven but you didnt come home? So what, Jack being God means you're back to being a soldier?"

"That is--that isnt the case Dean. Jack is hands-off and he needed someone to be there, to set things up. The bomb, the empty--it threw everyone out, for quiet time. Angels are back and most of them werent adjusting well with new boss. It took some convincing, but finally there is a new order upstairs. I have been there, keeping the peace, with some close-knit people."

"Okay--wow. Reordering Heaven, what--what are the chang--you know what, I dont even want to be bothered. As long as those winged idiots stay in line and dont threaten your life--"

"I dont think they'll want to go against the boss' father"

Both chuckle at that..so it wasnt a dream, Jack really is God and Cas really is back, and Dean is free...

"There's something more Dean. I'm..I'm not an angel anymore...I am human."

It takes more than a second for Dean to register that..

"Cas" He tries for casual but the shaky voice gives it away, "you said something, right before--did you--how long have you felt this way?"

"A long time"

"And you still do?"

"Yes"

"Stay here then, with us, with me. This is your home after all"

"Of course"

"I guess I should see the sasquatch"

"I'll go get them"

Dean watched Cas move and felt a warmth spread across his chest. "Hey Cas, I love you too"

---------------------------------

"How you feeling?"

"Scared and nervous"

"Dude, you punched God"

"But this is different. This is committing my life to someone, sharing all the good and bad"

"You and me share all the good and bad"

"You know what I mean! But hey, I got you and Cas right here, the good-old-married-couple example"

"We've been together for a year, tops"

"Oh like I didnt suffer the CasDean UST for a decade"

"Whats that?"

"Nothing"

"May I have this dance?"

"Do you see anyone else lining up to dance with me?" Cas rolled his eyes, some things dont change after all

"Gotta say, seeing the big family together at a wedding is pretty great...wish mom and dad could see this"

"Well, they are watching over you, new heaven order and all"

"You know, Sam had this life planned, with Jess, before dad disappeared and all this craziness started. He got his happy life in some way or the other"

"And you didnt have it planned?"

"I thought I'd be dead by now, the way I had been living. Never thought I'd live to see grey hair"

"I like the grey"

And I like this, you and me happy together.

----------------------------------

"What if the baby doesn't like me?"

"He'll like you just fine"

"It's a nerd baby"

"Baby arent born nerds Dean. And besides, he's Sam's kid, no way he wont adore you"

"You think so?"

"Yeah"

May be Charlie is right. I mean Sam loves him, no reason the baby wouldn't.

Wow, his baby brother has a baby now, talk about time flying.

"How are they doing? Is everything fine at the hospital? Did the baby come yet? I got one of every toy."

Okay, Cas is definitely way way more anxious.

"Relax you people, if you're freaking out now, I have news for you...parenthood is hard" Jody chimes in

"It's not like we dont have any experience, Jack had his trouble period"

That earns a big laugh.

"Cas..Jack was a special kid, human kids are more trouble"

"Ohh"

Dean can get used to this. This soft domestic life, theres no picket fence but theres plenty love. He still occassionally thinks he doesnt deserve it, when he does, Cas is right by his side to kiss that worry away.

[lonely-bored-writer]

Not so simple

Summary: When Danny had his accident in the lab, him and his friends thought it would just be ghostly problems that follow. However, yet another incident in gym class reveals that his more human side was just as affected.

Word Count: 1,294

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Inspired by: @phantomsstars

It happened out of nowhere, everyone was baffled. No one expected a “small” electrical incident to cause such affects. The event occurred a few weeks after the incident, after what happened to Danny, team Phantom brushed it off as a minor electrocution that didn’t need medical attention so his parents wouldn’t dig too much. Maddie had done a quick once over on her son before deeming him healthy as can be. His temperature gave her a bit to worry, but nothing else seemed off.

As the teen struggled take hold of his newfound powers, it became clearer by the day that balancing the powers and ghosts with school was not going to be easy. He didn’t realize how much harder it was going to be then he thought. In the weeks following the incident, Danny found new odd things that he just chalked up to being tired or the new ghost side of him. However, it only seem to affect him as a human.

It wasn’t something anyone thought would be a worry, he would suddenly get lightheaded or dizzy. A few times he’d have sudden pains in his chest, paired with an odd almost fluttering feeling in his chest that seemed consistent. Once again, all the teens shrugged it off. They didn’t think it would be an issue, after all they all were too focus on keeping Danny’s uncontrollable powers under wraps and figuring out how to deal with the ghosts finding their way through the Fenton Portal.

It wasn’t until the day Danny finally showed up to gym class again, it also happened to be the day that they were okaying dodge ball. Winning team got an ‘A’, of course Danny know he had to win to help bring his grade back up after so many misses. Sam, Tucker, and him had a game plan. As much as they cared about the other nerds and outcast on their side, they knew the others would appreciating win much more then all of them losing.

So they used to their advantage, using the others to distract or take hits while they worked on taking down everyone else. For once, Danny was having a decent time. In the weeks he’s been too stressed and worried to just sit back and relax. Now he was, even if he was working to not get hit it was still much more calming then his life at the moment. Team Phantom was able to bring the other side down to four jocks with six still on their side, before things crumbled.

Danny had made a mad dash to slip behind one of the others who were about to get hit when he’s body suddenly felt weak, almost giving out on him. He paused, pressing a hand against his chest. The pains were back, his breathe become shallow even as he worked to try and bring more oxygen into his system. He vaguely heard Sam call out his name, but he couldn’t focus. His mind felt off, the room shifting in and out of focus.

“Some…things…wrong…”

Danny managed to gasp out, he felt hands on him moving him to sit. He could hear the mumbles of people around him talking, but it was so hard to focus when he’s body felt like it was shutting down and he’s fear of death rising. The pain was just increasing, the fluttering in his chest becoming more apparent as the seconds ticked by. It felt like he was sitting there forever, but he knew he had only just been seated.

He was able to turn his focus on someone in front of him, Tucker. Eyes’ training on his friend’s worried face, he opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to alert them that this was similar to what has been happening but worse. He couldn’t get a word out before the edges of his vision began to fade faster, he recognize his friend rushing forward before he felt himself slipping and the world around him went dark.

The next moment he awoke, he heard an odd beeping sound. His eyes cracked open to be meet with a too bright room. Hospital. His brows furrowed, the device that was beeping was the heart monitor but it sound no where near like it did in movies and shows. His eyes were with a relieved mother and father, Danny could still register the worry and sadness lingering underneath. Next he saw was Tucker, right by his side as well. He was soon informed Sam’s parents wouldn’t let her come to the hospital.

“I’ll get the doctor.”

Maddie was the second to speak after a silence, leaving the room with Jack. Danny turned his focus to Tucker who went on to explained what happened after he fainted in gym. Apparently the whole class was freaking out, as well as the coach first thought it was an anxiety attack until Sam informed her about the past weeks following the electrocution. She had called an ambulance and the nurse. The nurse arrive not long after Danny fainted.

Danny nodded, choosing to keep his voice in until he knew what all of this was about. Tucker didn’t prob, just informing as they waited for his parents to come back. It was when Tucker was giving details on what happened after he was wheeled out on a gurney that the doctor finally arrive. Danny stayed polite, nodding with a smile as the doctor greeted him. Doctor Peterson.

“… Tachycardia… It appears the electrical shock affected the sinus node… we can’t cure it, but there is medication… Start on Amiodarone…”

Danny felt odd, he wasn’t scared, or really worried, just… surprised. He thought his only problem was going to be ghosts, but this dragged another new thing into his life. Pills. He wasn’t sure how much he liked the idea of that, but the worried and fearful look in his parents eyes were enough to have him know he was going to do everything he could to help make this as little an obstacle in his life.

He didn’t focus too much on what the doctor was saying, his mind racing and thinking over the information that he did pick up, the ones that seemed more important. This wasn’t ideal, but being half dead wasn’t ideal either but he’s making that work. So why not this? It’s not the worse thing that could happen, and he’s not particular hateful that it happened to him. He’s accepted it, he’ll get through it. Long term or not.

“Does that sound good?”

Danny nodded, giving the doctor a reassuring smile before turning his gaze to his parents. Every time in the room, his mom would hold his hand. Giving it reassuring squeezes every time she heard something that worried her. His dad kept his arm resting on Maddie’s shoulders, rubbing it occasional to remind her he’s here. Both pairs of eyes turned to focus on him, it wasn’t hard to miss the worry in them, this time trained more so on how he was handling the news. Even though his life went from being simple, to not so simple in just a few weeks doesn’t mean he couldn’t adapt.

“We got this.”

Danny smiled a genuine smile as his family and friend relaxed ever so slightly. He wasn’t about to let yet another side effect of the incident turn his life upside down once more. After becoming practically half dead, he was sure this won’t be to much of a hump for the Fentons and team Phantom.

[queencamellia]

Ascension

Summary:

He always wanted to be No.1. But not like this. Never like this.

(Bakudeku, BNHA Angst Week Day 1: Apologies)

Ao3 Link (with better formatting) here!

At first, when Deku stumbles, Katsuki thinks that one of the villains got a lucky hit in. They’re standing in the midst of a collapsed building, other pro heroes like Creati and Froppy battling villains around them in what must be one of the largest scale attacks the new League of Villains had launched; though the new League’s power is pales in comparison to the villains Katsuki had faced in his youth, it’s still a challenge to contain the battle and ensure the safety of the civilians.

Katsuki himself had just knocked out some villain with a fire Quirk (who had nothing over Half-and-Half) when he sees the emerald-eyed hero stumble backwards out of the corner of his eye.

Fuck, he thinks immediately, but Deku steadies himself and Katsuki swiftly casts the judgment that he’s fine (he should be fine—he has to be fine) and instead concentrates on the enemy.

However, when his eyes swerve to analyze the villain that somehow managed to hit Deku (the man who had grown strong and kind enough to fill his mentor’s large shoes), Katsuki notes that the fucker looks just as confused as he is.

Something’s wrong, Katsuki realizes immediately.

Already, his mind is running through possibilities and plans: a long-ranged Quirk, perhaps? If so, then he can flush the villain out with his explosions. Over the years, he’s learned to strategize and rely on more than just brute strength. He’d once considered relying on trickery and less confrontational tactics as a weakness, but now, using both is second nature to him.

He whirls around, eyes searching for the perpetrator to no avail.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as Deku sways.

Something akin to dread wells in his chest, something ominous and suffocating, and Katsuki whips around to properly face his childhood friend and rival to demand for answers, but his words catch in his throat when they lock gazes.

It’s as if the whole world has fallen away. All he sees in that moment is Deku, his eyes shining with a strange emotion that Katsuki can’t quite place and his ever-present smile faltering just slightly.

Then, in the midst of a cloud of dust and grime…

...Deku falls.

Katsuki is sprinting even before he even realizes he is. His voice’s a loud roar, desperate and angry, because this is Deku, the person who had forgiven him for his shitty actions in the past, the person who never stopped believing that Katsuki could become a hero, his rival, his friend, his goddamn inspiration to become better and—

“DEKU!”

Within seconds, the villain (fuck him, fuck all of them) is blown back by a loud, giant explosion and Katsuki is kneeling on the ground, holding his childhood friend and rival like his life depends on it (and maybe it does).

“What the fuck, Deku?” Katsuki growls, searching for wounds. Already, he’s reaching for the first-aid kit that Aizawa had gifted them all at the end of first year. Ever blunt, he demands brusquely, “Where?”

It’s terrifying to see the look on Deku’s face because Katsuki recognizes it far too well; after all, he’s been the cause of such an expression far too many times in the past.

He hasn’t seen this expression on Deku in years and the fact that Deku’s looking at him with those goddamn sad, accepting eyes makes him want to laugh and cry and—

“Come on, you fucker,” Katsuki snarls, eyes still cataloging every inch of the hero. “Where is it?”

Deku coughs, and, with what seems to be immense effort, lifts his hand to lightly grab Katsuki’s hand to stop his inspection. The ground is still trembling and the air still charged from the action-packed battles raging around them, but for a moment, Katsuki forgets about the battle.

“Well?” he barks, and if he sounds a bit desperate, nobody is of the wiser. It takes one glare to deter any other villains from getting closer, and faintly, Katsuki registers that Shouto and Earphone Jack are backing him up. Their presence is hardly a comfort; where the fuck is everyone else?

Fuck, Katsuki’s not equipped for this; all he knows is the basic first aid they learned back at Yuuei. He’s not fucking Ponytail or Four-Eyes, who study up the weirdest and most useless shit for fun.

Deku exhales, his eyes fluttering closed and for a minute Katsuki’s heart stops because what the fuck, what the fuck—

His voice is quiet, meek. It’s fairly reminiscent of the awkward and diffident boy Katsuki still remembers from his childhood, only that boy had never acted like this.

“I’m sorry, Kacchan.”

“You goddamn idiot!” Katsuki growls, because that’s all he can say. “Are you listening to me? Where the fuck are you hurt?”

Somehow, Deku gathers enough energy to release a weak chuckle. “Always the same,” he murmurs, and to his horror, Katsuki notes that Deku’s voice is growing weaker.

He doesn’t realize it, but Katsuki’s still on the ground, half-cradling Deku, and by this time, people have begun to take notice (because battle of grand-scales or not, the reporters in this city are fastidious and dedicated to their job).

“Kacchan.”

“Shut up!” he snaps, staggering to his feet with Deku still in his arms. One glance at Chargebolt and Froppy (when did they arrive on the scene?) tells him that he doesn’t have to worry about stray villains slowing him down. “I’m taking you to the fucking hospital right now, so don’t you dare die on me before that, shitty nerd.”

It’s been awhile since he’s used that insult. Deku laughs again, and something about the fact that the bastard is taking amusement in Katsuki’s panic infuriates him. “You—” he starts, but Deku cuts him off.

“I always wanted to see you become number one,” he mumbles, words slurred and only semi-coherent. His statement, innocuous enough (because the fucking bastard doesn’t even care about rankings and would probably congratulate Katsuki if he surpassed him) elicits even more consternation from his rival.

“Well, you just wait and watch, because I will beat you.”

Deku laughs again.

“Now just shut up and wait until we reach the hospital, annoying bastard.”

Deku quiets, and for a moment, Katsuki thinks he’s won this one. He’s leaping past the rooftops, having already propelled himself to the top of a nearby building with his free arm (because Deku is light enough for him to carry him with one arm, and that scares him because Deku isn’t that tiny anymore, even if Katsuki still taunts him about the five centimeters he still has over him sometimes).

They’ve reached the hospital and Katsuki barrels into the lobby with no regard for the other patients (besides, he’s saving the goddamn symbol of peace and it’s goddamn Deku, nobody would complain). The staff are taken aback, understandably, at the No.1 and No.2 heroes suddenly barging into the lobby, but they quickly mobilize, crowding around him.

They’re about to take him out of Katsuki’s hands when Deku raises a firm gaze at the head doctor and enunciates clearly, “I don’t need anything, thank you. Please focus your efforts on the other heroes who are getting injured.”

“What the fuck, D—”

“Can we go to the park, Kacchan?”

Confusion swims in his eyes, but to his credit, Katsuki strides out the hospital doors with Deku in tow without a word of complaint. They reach the park in a matter of minutes. The sounds of battle have subsided, and judging by the wailing sirens of police cars, they’ve won. Good.

The park is deserted. It’s sort of eerie, in a way, and when Katsuki sets Deku down on the park bench, he feels a wave of nostalgia threaten to consume him. The park’s definitely different from the one they grew up in—there’s a good-to-honest seesaw and the sandbox is puny (or maybe the sandbox from back then just felt enormous to his younger self).

Nonetheless, Katsuki’s reminded of the past (both the good and the bad) and looking at Deku’s slightly slumped figure does not help.

He’s not even sure where he should start. Honestly—what the fuck, Deku, “...why the hell do you always have to be such a dumbass?”

He doesn’t realize that he said the last part aloud until Deku chuckles and punches his shoulder lightly. Usually, when they exchange half-friendly quips, even Deku’s lightest shoves could topple a lesser man. Now, the No.1 hero’s strength rivals that of an elementary school boy’s.

“You know,” he says, even the strength in his voice waning. “I had always assumed I’d be around when you become No.1, even before I was given my Quirk…”

“Well, it’s your fault for not being a shittier hero.”

Deku’s lips tug upwards. “You’re amazing, Kacchan. Really amazing. Whenever I felt like giving up, I always looked towards you. You were always looking forward...always aiming to be better, always trying to become an amazing hero. And that inspired me.”

And it shouldn’t be any surprise to Katsuki—it really shouldn’t be, because he knows that Deku acknowledges their rivalry-esque thing just as much as he does—but nonetheless, he’s unable to come up with any snarky retort. “Thanks,” he says gruffly, because what else can he say?

Then, he narrows his eyes. “Now tell me what’s going on.”

It’s as much a command as it is a demand.

Deku’s smile falters again. “I told Ochako, Shouto, and Tenya awhile ago,” he says, and Katsuki ignores the pang he feels at those words. The four are a closely-knit group, long past honorifics (just like Katsuki and his friends). It’s obvious that Katsuki wouldn’t be his first choice. (Still, he wonders that maybe, just maybe, if he had been less of a bastard when they were young, would he be the one that Deku would confide to first?)

His raging, internal diatribe comes to a complete stop at Deku’s next words.

“I’m not going to last much longer, Kacchan.”

Silence reigns.

Katsuki registers his words, but he doesn’t quite understand them.

Or, rather, he refuses to understand them.

“...what do you mean?”

“It’s kind of pathetic,” Deku mumbles, and suddenly he seems more like his younger self. (And Katsuki hates that.) Something almost bitter bleeds into his voice. “The No.1 hero...succumbing not to a villain, but an illness? The newspapers are going to have a field day. I didn’t...I never wanted to go out in a blazing, glorious sacrifice, but I didn’t expect...”

He glances upwards, gaze resolute. “What I do know, though, is that I’m leaving this world in good hands. Promise me you’ll look after my mom?”

Realization dawns on his features, and Katsuki can only think of one thing to say to the hero’s heartfelt speech:

“No.”

“...no?”

“Look after her yourself, idiot,” Katsuki snaps. “Don’t go dying on her before you reach thirty. Do you know how much shit you’ve put Aunt Inko through?”

“...yeah.”

“Then live, you dumbass. For her. For your friends.” For me.

“I wish I could,” Deku says simply. His breathing sounds labored, as if each breath is agonizingly painful to take. Katsuki doesn’t realize that he’s moving to sit down beside him until he’s already on the cold, marble bench with his...

...rival? That didn’t quite sum it up. Deku was more than just a rival to him. They weren’t quite lovers, but they weren’t just friends either.

Deku is...Deku.

That’s the only label that Katsuki can place on him. Stupid, heroic, and selfless Deku that never shies away from danger if someone needs help.

“Kacchan?”

He’s quiet, so quiet that it would be alarming for anyone else to see him in such a contemplative state. But Deku’s seen every part of him, from his highs to his lowest of lows.

“Don’t die, Deku.”

“...I don’t want to, but what other choice do I have?” Deku laughs painfully, his voice quieting with each passing second. “It took every connection I had to make sure they didn’t hospitalize me when I was diagnosed. The disease...it’s incurable, you know. As soon as I learned about it, I knew that I would die, but I didn’t want to wither away in a hospital, useless and pitiful. Even if it was for just one day more, if I could be someone’s hero in their time of need again...then it would be worth it.”

Katsuki stares at the sky, closes his eyes, and lets out a heavy sigh. His shoulders slump in weary resignation because fuck, he hates this, but he can’t do anything and Deku’s always been ridiculously stubborn. If he says there’s no cure, then there’s no cure.

Unlike the majority of his peers, who cling to hope and faith and courage, Katsuki’s a realist. And though there’s a tiny part of him that prays for a miracle, his logical side struggles to accept the hidden truth finally revealed before his eyes.

He turns back to Deku. “You’re a fucking saint.”

Katsuki’s surprised to find that his voice is thick. His hands tremble, ever so slightly.

A tiny smile blossoms on Deku’s face. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he comments, mostly jesting.

“You’re my hero.”

“...pardon?”

Katsuki scowls, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the bench. “You heard me already, shitty nerd.”

Deku laughs again. He’s just like his mentor: constantly smiling and laughing. Then, abruptly, his smile freezes and he nearly keels over. Katsuki surges forward, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling the hero back towards him before he can hit the ground.

“Shit, Deku,” Katsuki hisses, and he’s horrified to hear his voice wobble. “Shit, shit, shit. Sit down and stop talking.”

“For my last moments,” Deku comments casually, as if he hadn’t nearly collapsed and stopped Katsuki’s heart a moment ago. His voice is quiet, but strong and firm. “I’m glad I’m with you.”

How the fuck is he supposed to respond to that?

Katsuki has never been good at emotional stuff. Never. That’s why he had so few friends before Yuuei (and really, he’s not sure if friends really covers his goonies back in middle school). He doesn’t know how to confront and comfort a dying man...much less a weakened Deku.

“I can call everyone now,” he offers, already scrambling for his phone, but Deku stops him from taking it out by placing a hand on his. His hands are rough and calloused, proof of his dedication to their work; Katsuki’s are the same.

“I’ve already said my goodbyes to them,” he murmurs. “And though they’d deny it, they wouldn’t want to see me like this. They’d try to put on their strong faces and smile through the pain for me.”

Katsuki barks out a watery laugh. “Just like all those stupid, sappy manga, huh?”

Deku’s eyes light up at the memory. “Just like those stupid, sappy manga,” he confirms.  “I love them all so much.”

Katsuki can’t even find it in himself to laugh. “Sap.”

“Kacchan?”

“What, Deku?”

Deku smiles. It’s the smile of someone who’s come to peace with oneself, of someone without any regrets left.

“Crying doesn’t make you weak, you know.”

His words strike him like lightning and Katsuki feels all of the things he wants to say evaporate into thin air. His words catch in his throat and he can’t, he can’t, he can’t—

“Shitty nerd,” Katsuki chokes out, laughing and crying at once, and he hates his fucking self for the tears that spill down his cheeks at Deku’s words, hates this fucking situation, hates this frustrating feeling of uselessness and emptiness and broken promises and the inevitable future devoid of him—

Deku laughs, squeezing his hand so lightly that Katsuki almost doesn’t feel it. His eyelids are fluttering closed and god, Katsuki is not ready for this. He claws desperately in his mind for anything, anyone, something, someone please—

“Damn it, Deku, stay with me!” he orders, clutching onto the hero as if holding him tighter would be enough to keep him from death’s grip.

There’s only one coherent thought within the midst of confusion, anger, grief, and frustration that hit him like a tidal wave:

He can’t die.

Katsuki makes a small, choked noise that sounds like a cross between a laugh and a sob.

He can’t.

Fucking nerd. Dumbass. Making him feel these fucking feelings.

“You know, Kacchan…”

You can’t die.

His grip on him tightens.

Not you.

Deku’s last words are nothing more than a whisper, but each word holds an unwavering, firm belief.

“...you’ve always been my hero.”

Fucking nerd.

And because Katsuki never lets someone else get the last word, he clutches onto Deku’s hand, voice trembling but words clear.

“You’re my hero too, Deku.” Always.

When his eyelids flutter closed for the last time, Deku’s lips curve upwards.

[youcantundothepast]

javid headcanons

hey so I haven’t updated in forever (I have reasons just not good ones ngl) (also I’ve been absent on all of my blogs so don’t think y’all are special ;))

but for now here are some wholesome Javid (modern) headcanons that aren’t really supposed to be anything in particular they’re just kind of cute

they skip around from high school to married life and everything in between

also this is so long because I love imagining my two pure boys in love

tw: idk why but there’s more cussing than usual (but I wouldn’t consider it excessive)

———————

- okay so first off, Davey is a mess

- like how does one date??? like he can barely stand his own life how can he share it with someone else????

- especially someone so perfect nice like Jack

- but this isn’t Jack’s first rodeo and God bless him he just smiles when Davey’s awkward and will kiss his cheek or something and Davey will never be sure how he landed someone so nice perfect

- they don’t like the hassle of splitting the bill on dates so they alternate on who pays for the date

- Davey brought Jack sunflowers once for his designated date day and on Jack’s next designated date day, Davey received a painting of said flowers

- as they continuously date, though, they begin learning each other’s favorite flowers

- like Jack loves stargazer lilies but Davey can’t have lilies because of Sarah’s cat, Cheerio (never forget Cheerio)

- Davey favorite flowers are baby’s breath

- on prom night, Sarah and Katherine surprise the two with matching stargazer/baby’s breath boutonniere and they just go soft

- OKAY BUT DAVEY GETS SO SAD AT THE END OF PROM NIGHT BECAUSE HE’LL HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY BECAUSE CHEERIO GETS INTO EVERYTHING SO HE JUST THROWS IT IN THE TRASH AND THEN ON HIS

- AND JACK’S WEDDING DAY, JACK SURPRISES HIM BY SHOWING THE TWO MATCHING BOUTONNIERES now pressed and dead BUT HE CAN’T HELP BUT BE SPEECHLESS BY HIS NOW HUSBAND AND AHHHH

- “wait... oh my God I kissed you that night after you went dumpster diving!”

- also real quick, Sarah is Davey’s “best man” and he’s all like Sarah, you can wear a dress, you don’t have to wear a suit like Jack’s best man (Crutchie)

- and Sarah just glared and is like “bitch don’t take this from me”

- she was the best looking in the wedding photos rocking her amazing suit btw

- but back to when they’re just bfs

- when they first start being together Davey isn’t really sure what to think because they’re more than friends, but is it right to say Jack’s his boyfriend yet? (they hadn’t even had their first kiss yet)

- so he goes for a few weeks with them just have a few dates (are they dates though???) until Jack calls him his boyfriend in front of the other newsies (because he can register Davey’s apprehensiveness so he makes the first move)

- and Davey is just like ???!!?!!

- “you- you just called me the-the” and he can’t even register at the moment because the heart eyes are strong

- and Jack is just grinning and is just like “yeah, I just called you the b word. That’s okay with you right?”

- And Davey could just melt into a puddle and is internally like “HOLY SHIT WTF WHAT IS GOING ON I AM GOING TO IMPLODE BEFORE I DESERVE THIS NERD” but he just holds Jack’s hand and kisses the top of it and is like “yeah, I consider you my b word too”

- then Race says whispers “my bitch” to Spot and ruins the whole moment

(okay that sounded so awkward with the whole b word thing but I really wanted to make that joke because I love that meme(?) so allow me)

- their first kiss took a lot of time to build up to, but they both wanted to make sure it’d be perfect so it was on their last day of Junior year and they just spend thirty seconds afterwards just staring into each other’s eyes with their foreheads touching while holding the other’s hands

- Katherine takes a picture of the “first kiss aftermath” posts it to instagram (with their permission) with the caption “FINALLY!!!” with a billion heart emojis

- everyone who didn’t know the two were together scream in the comments

- Jack has to make a follow up post of Davey kissing his cheek and him winking with a huge smile of his face with the caption “my boyfriend ❤️”

- Race, ofc, comments “I thought he was your bitch”

- they’re not really into PDA except simple hand holding and small pecks on lips/face every so often

- Jack’s favorite sign of affection is rubbing his thumb along the top of Davey’s hand especially when Davey gets really anxious because it helps him calm down and remember to breathe

- Davey loves to run his hands through Jack’s hair because it is so soft and sometimes Jack won’t cut it for a while and it’ll curl at the ends and Davey loves playing with them

- they usually only do this though when in private or around close friends because they feel like they’re shoving their relationship down people’s throats with obvious actions

- sometimes someone like Finch will fake gag and Katherine will punch him and he won’t do it again because damn Katherine punches hard

- Jack’s favorite dates are when they just order take out and sit on the couch all night to watch movies

- Jack has made Davey’s watch Brother Bear probably 300 times, but while Jack loves every second of the movie, Davey just smiles and powers through

- it is a good movie though (go watch it if you haven’t you are going to cry your eyes out)

- Davey likes to watch the action movies and superhero movies like Marvel

- (they totally went to see Infinity War and Davey was so broken after like he just stayed in bed cuddling with Jack for hours balling his eyes out)

- (then they went to see Ant-man and the Wasp and the cycle repeated)

- Davey’s favorite dates though are packing some sandwiches and apples/chips and just going to the park and having a picnic or going stargazing

- in NYC, they don’t see many stars so for Davey’s birthday, Jack picked him up in the middle of the night once and drove them to the middle of nowhere to stargaze

- for Jack’s birthday, Davey wants to do something special, but isn’t really sure what to do until Sarah gives him an idea

- it’s Jack’s 18th birthday so he gets a big box and fills it up with “18 things I love about you” and Jack cries reading the little notes Davey writes

- it’s things like a box of new color pencils with a note saying “you add so much color to the lives of everyone you meet” and also a fidget spinner with a note taped on saying “once start something, you won’t quit until it’s finished. but you also get annoying pretty quick ;)” so it’s just a bunch of useless junk but the sentiment and thoughtfulness of it is what makes it special

- did I say Jack cried? I meant to say Jack BAWLED

- like some of the little tear marks never came out of the pieces of paper

- when they decide they want to get married, they just kind of propose to each other

- like one night they are just like “hey, here’s a wild idea, but I love you like a lot and want to spend the rest of my days with you so let’s get married”

- and a month later, they surprise each other with rings so they both have engagement rings

- (low key inspired by AKB/Scott Bixby because that shit is adorable)

- but every relationship has to have some turbulence but it took me a while to come up with something because I don’t want these boys to be mad at each other :(

- so first off, they don’t argue long about the stupid stuff because they realized early that none of that is worth it because they make each other happy and that’s rare to come by these days

- but there are some persistent things they argue about ike Davey never taking care of himself (especially during their college days)

- poor boy doesn’t get enough sleep :(

- Jack’s hamartia is the fact that he can’t stand injustice/assholes

- so he’s often come home with a bloody lip or black eye

- Davey understands, but he wishes Jack wouldn’t get himself hurt so much

- (so they basically both have the same problem they just experience it in different ways)

- it’s when Jack calls Davey from jail when they have a big fight

tw: vague attempted sexual assault

- “A bar fight? What the hell, Jack?!”

- it was the worse Davey had ever seen him with his jaw swollen and bruises littering his whole body

- “Not my fault that motherfucker-“

- “You can’t just fight anyone who is rude or is racist! I hate people like that too, but you can’t punch them a few times and expect them to change in an instant. Some fights you just shouldn’t pick!”

- Jack had never seen Davey so mad so he takes a deep breath and reaches through the bars of the holding cell and grabs Davey’s shoulder calmly

- “Dave... the drink was drugged. I saw the guy put somethin in the woman’s drink when I was passin by the bar. I warned her, but then he came up and started makin a scene. Started making him the victim. He practically demanded that I let him take the girl home as if I could give him permission. Poor girl was so shocked and scared, and he wasn’t backin off. It was just me and him for a while and then his buddies showed up. Some other people tried to help me, and then the cops showed up. Fuckers pinned it all on me and I was in here before I could even let a word out.”

- Davey is speechless by Jack’s story and he was pretty sure he fell in love all over again

- “I jus hope that girl’s okay. She was cryin when I was being put into car in handcuffs. The other guy was only brought in for questioning. Said I was the one who started it and they believed me, saying only kids my age would start trouble like that. Apparently he’s a mechanic at the building down the road. Probably gives these cops discounts or somethin. It’s a load of shit if you ask me.”

- “I know, Jack. Let’s just get you out of here so you can heal up. Knowing you, you’ll probably have another black eye soon enough. Have to heal this one up so you don’t keep the next one waiting.”

- when they’re in their car, Davey reaches across and kisses his swollen jaw

- “I’m sorry about yelling at you, I didn’t know. You’re an amazing person, I should’ve known you wouldn’t just get in a random fight.”

tw over

- ahhh they’re so in love!!!!

- the best thing though is that they’re each other’s support systems

- like every night they go to bed and just cuddle and whenever one has had a bad day, the other will just open their arms and hug them and kiss them for as long as they need

- there’s just so much reassurance and small little compliments between the two

- a lot of stuff has happened during their lives and sometimes it just catches up to them, but the other is always there to catch him

- it’s just full of all-rounded, pure-hearted goodness

[caredogstips]

The 6 Most Ludicrous Superhero Movies We Almost Got

At first glance, it seems like we’ve run out of superhero movies to oblige. We’ve rebooted certain series so many times that you could do an Expendables made up exclusively of former Batmen. They’re making a freaking Gambit movie. It almost stimulates you wonder, “How insane does a superhero mind need to be for Hollywood not to make it? ” We’re very glad you asked. This insane TAGEND

# 6. Michael Jackson’s X-Men

We live in a macrocosm of amazements and sorcery, but it’s nothing compared to the world we nearly lived in — one in which Michael Jackson played Professor Xavier in an X-Men movie. The King of Pop actually lobbied for the area, but seemed to know he was a long shot. And we don’t symbolize the X-Man Longshot.

Though we guess he would have been a passable Morph ?

Jackson was so eager to play the character that he tried to buy Marvel. He figured if he owned the company, who could say no? As if anyone in their right mind would say no to a squealing, dancing Professor X conducting a unit of ten-year-olds and a chimpanzee, which almost certainly would have been his first and final thought. The spot is, Michael Jackson’s X-Men would have been so transcendent that every time Professor X rose from his wheelchair to curve slip, so too would each hampered party watching.

“Breaking bulletin: Doctors stupefied as millions of paraplegics worldwide have retrieved the ability to moonwalk.”

Jackson’s deal to buy Marvel undoubtedly never went through, which is a mistake time travelers will hopefully repair, because he wasn’t merely looking to tally the role of a super-persuasive male surrounded by supernatural brats. He was also hoping to play Peter Parker, the Amazing Spider-Man.

It seems vaguely foolish( in the best acces ), but he wasn’t without his supporters. When asked about it, Stan Lee himself said that he supposed Jackson would’ve been a great Spider-Man. How superb would that have been? Do you remember that situation in Spider-Man 3 where Tobey Maguire switched evil and delivered into our world cinema’s worst dance number?

You damn well supposed to do now .

If Michael Jackson was Spider-Man, they would have invented a new category of Academy Award to present to that panorama. Or maybe it would have resulted in the martyrdom of cinema itself. We’ll never know.

# 5. We Almost Got Quentin Tarantino’s Silver Surfer ( Among Others)

The Silver Surfer has always been a bit of a weird reputation. He saved his planet by volunteering to work for Galactus as a “herald.” A herald’s enterprise is to run through cavity and find planets for Galactus to eat. After years of convicting billions, maybe trillions, of beings to extinction, he decided to quit and use the “power cosmic” to become a hero. At health risks of oversimplifying acts, the power cosmic can totally do anything. So … how do you manufacture that into a movie?

Okay , now how do you move that into a good movie ?

It’s not exactly clear, but many people have tried. They approached George Lucas in 1990 to discuss a Surfer movie, but it was decided that the silver guy engineering wasn’t quite there. One studio tried painting a soul with mineral petroleum, but it seemed less cosmic and more “buns calendar.”

After Reservoir Dogs , Quentin Tarantino showed interest in making a Silver Surfer movie, and this idea rebounded around until it got to Fox, who hired John Turman to write a write. In it, the Surfer came to Earth, met a 12 -year-old prostitute, fallen in love with a waitress, and got was transformed into an everyday , non-silver human by an evil general.

He would also inexplicably use the N-word a lot . Yes, their meaning was to make a movie about a silver-tongued seat god and alter him into a regular human for most of it. And even after all that, they decided that the cinema would be too expensive. The Silver Surfer finally presented up as a corroborating globule of CGI in 2007 ‘s Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer . Before its handout, schemes were already in the works for a solo Silver Surfer movie. There was an exclusively new script from comics writer J. Michael Straczynski, and rumors surfaced that The Rock or Vin Diesel might play him. And then the world discovered the Rise Of The Silver Surfer . It couldn’t have been worse for the Silver Surfer’s movie busines if they had announced it Fantastic Four: All Ticket Holders Are Automatically Registered As Sex Offenders . So after nearly 30 years of Hollywood’s most powerful filmmakers trying to make it happen, we are still no closer to a Silver Surfer movie.

# 4. We Almost Had Joel Schumacher’s Very Serious The Dark Knight Returns … With Nicolas Cage

Remember when Joel Schumacher realized his image of the Dark Knight in Batman& Robin ?

An unrelated photo of knockoff war representations sold in Hong Kong for the purposes of the mention “ULTRA STEELTITS AND RACCOON DOUCHE.”

The movie was a campy calamity. It was a frantic, nipply assault at a Batman movie that missed so hard that it roughly killed the dealership eternally. Nonetheless, had the movie not miscarried so miserably, there was another Schumacher Batman film scheduled. The project was to adapt/ devastate Frank Miller’s gritty The Dark Knight Returns — arguably best available Batman journal ever written, and the story on which the upcoming Batman V. Superman movie is based. Seems like a simple thought, right? Well, it altogether wasn’t.

The plot of the thankfully-never-made cinema travelled in a strange tack from different sources textile. It began with Batman being doused with Scarecrow’s fear serum and hallucinating all his past rogues — Catwoman, Two-Face, and Joker, who was to be played again by Jack Nicholson. They even had plans to introduce Joker’s daughter … Harley Quinn. Batman followers might recognize her as the woman who is absolutely not Joker’s daughter, and she was to be played by freaking Courtney Love. Joker’s girlfriend becomes his daughter becomes Courtney Love? If Schumacher was so determined to destroy children’s glee, why didn’t he just go door-to-door with a body be demonstrating he had killed Santa Claus?

Wait , no, this is scarier .

The only shining place in this waste tube of an idea was who Schumacher wanted for the Scarecrow. Fresh off the failed Superman Lives , he was looking to throw Nicolas Cage as the rascal. That’s the kind of decision that could have transformed this dogshit stockpile of nonsense into the good various kinds of crazy.

Are YOU fuckin’ scared , Batman !? HUH !?

And while we’re on the subject …

# 3. We Almost Had A Tim Burton Catwoman Spinoff

It’s hard to overestimate how immense the 1989 Tim Burton Batman movie was and how beloved it remains today. The sequel … not quite as much. Chiefly because Penguin vs. Batman has gone down as not only the saddest Batman fight, but possibly the saddest movie oppose of all time. After posing no physical menace to the hero, Penguin strolled off to flop to his death and get carried away by adorable penguin pallbearers.

That everything happened .

So Danny Devito’s Penguin wasn’t precisely something that needed to be revisited. Michele Pfeiffer’s Catwoman, on the other handwriting …

She’s something we could do with more of .

If you don’t remember, her persona was a perfect mixture of hot, unnerving, and absurd. She was a mousy secretary whose assassinated person was brought back to life by the strength of felines. It was the kind of origin narrative that really leaned into its not-giving-of-fucks. Burton moved on from Batman, but not from Catwoman. Before Batman Forever came and sagged a nuke-sized deuce on the legacy of the Dark Knight, there was going to be a Catwoman movie that would’ve cleared Batman Returns seem sane.

The plan was a Catwoman film set in Oasisburg — a Vegas-like city run by superheroes. It would’ve been written by the same scribe behind Batman Returns . In other statements, a confirmed nutbag. The script involved Catwoman “losing ones” retention( again) and battling against all the superheroes who were privately crooks. Michele Pfeiffer had signed on to return, and Burton was gearing up to make it.

Pfeiffer’s fuzz also expressed serious stake .

So what happened? The dialogue was finished and changed in on the opening day of Batman Forever . It had a silly kiddie tint and shining rainbow colorings, and it constructed channel, style more coin than Returns . The film’s fiscal success persuasion WB administrations that big-hearted and stupid was the future of superhero movies , not dark and bizarre. So instead of an unhinged, seductive Catwoman opposing a city of superpowered criminals, we got, sigh, Batman& Robin . As if someone necessary another reason to dislike that damn movie.

# 2. We Almost Had Oliver Stone’s Elektra

Oliver Stone is a contentious chairman. His movies are aggressive, aesthetic, and often politically polarizing. To this day, Natural Born Killers is still the most anti-establishment course to provoke an epileptic seizure. And it was right around the time he finished NBK that Stone was set to realize his first comic book movie. It was going to be a viciou, violent modification of Frank Miller’s Elektra .

Now , non-nerds may exclusively know Elektra from Ben Affleck’s Daredevil movie — or worse, from her own movie. If so, you probably repute Elektra is nothing but a roundabout way of telling your Netflix algorithm it was able to relax because you will watch fucking anything . But you should know that the character is more dreadful and breathtaking than Jennifer Garner portrayed her. So while it’s difficult to word-painting Oliver Stone doing a superhero movie, Elektra was less a typical superhero and more a murdery ninja. And the comic looked like this TAGEND Which looks like an Oliver Stone movie posting already .

The film was going to feature Elektra battling against the endless ninjas of The Hand, and would have probably been amazing, but the rights to the character were sold to 20 th Century Fox before it was finished. Why the new studio decided to make four hours of sweaty garbage instead of Oliver Stone’s Every Goddamn Thing Is Ninjas is a whodunit we are able to never solve.

Unless … shit, did Elektra kill JFK ?

# 1. We Almost Had A Horrid, Awful Sandman Movie

Neil Gaiman is a geek god with an eclectic body of work, but he’s better known for his Sandman succession. It’s one of the most popular non-superhero graphic novels of all time. It follows Morpheus, the King of Dreams, on his adventures across all of epoch, space, and reveries. It’s deeper and more emotional than your average comic book, but you’d never know it from the film adaptation they virtually made.

At first, the movie was in good shape. It was scripted by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio( they wrote Aladdin and the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies ), who purified 70 issues of comic story into a single two-hour movie. It seems a bit impossible, but Gaiman was apparently joyous with it.

This is Gaiman’s joyous look .

Then along arrived Jon Peters.

You might remember Jon Peters from our last article about Crazy-Ass Superhero movies. He’s the hairdresser swerved self-proclaimed street fight champ returned movie executive who wanted Superman to fight a stupendous spider. Among various interesting thing incorrect with him, he had a odd obsession with monstrous spiders. He eventually got his monstrous spider wishing in Wild Wild West , but Sandman was in product before Wild Wild West . You might witness where this is going.

“You get what anybody get. You get a shit-ton of giant spiders.”

Peters hired a screenwriter to tweak the write. Most importantly, he made sure the King of All Dreams had a fist fighting against a big-ass spider. As he placed it, possibly to anyone who listened to him talk for longer than a second, “Did you know spiders are the fiercest mortals in the animal kingdom !? “

After the latter are done spider-fucking it, Gaiman announced it is not simply an horrid Sandman write, ” but very easily the worst dialogue I’ve ever spoke . ” And, thankfully, he stopped make before it could go any further.

Giant spider historians had to settle on this . Man, clearly Hollywood has no dances, because it turns out there’s a lot of crazy shit that we almost had. Recognize which is something we aim in 3 Insane Spider-Man Movies You Won’t Believe Almost Got Made and 5 Superhero Movies You Won’t Believe Almost Got Made .

Read more: www.cracked.com

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