#dean winchester pov

[nayeliq1]

June 8th, prompt: Touch

Touch. Dean had always liked touch, had always needed touch. Platonic touch, sexual touch, simply kind and loving touch.

Intimacy wasn't easy on a body that was so used to beatings, any gentleness felt unnatural and foreign. Even a hit that left his face bruised and bloody could feel like a caress when you were starved for contact, when violence was the only intimacy you knew.

But Dean had always longed for what he couldn't have. 

He wanted the ease of affection shared without a second thought. He wanted casual kisses and entwined fingers and brushing thighs and the exchange of smiles. He wanted closeness in all its beautiful familiarity.

And he didn't trust anyone but Cas to hold him and not simply sit by and watch as Dean's heart and body fell apart in his arms.

Sometimes he wondered, what if he just gave in?

Following the desperate need to feel Cas' fingers brushing against his when he handed the angel his morning coffee. Draping his arm over the couch during movie night, curling it around Cas' shoulders to pull him in and feel his warmth, hearing the content sigh Cas might make. Catching Cas' hand after the angel had healed him, keeping him in place before he could withdraw, delaying that inevitable moment when he'd lose the touch he so desperately craved.

Keeping Cas' hands on his body, Cas' eyes on his heart, and Cas' attention on his soul.

For @starcrosseddeancas Dreamy Drabbles

[balladofthevisibleboy]

[zuzajs14]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: POV Dean Winchester, Jack is Cas' wingman, getting his parents together, First Kiss, No Plot, just feels, Fix-It, Kinda, They Are In Heaven, but it's not how it's supposed to be, Trip Down Memory Lane, Dean Winchester is having realization, Fluff, mostly at the end but still, don't ask me, i just had to get it out of my system Summary:

Drowning in the unearthly blue, he finally understood what should have been obvious from the start.

I died. Suddenly the scene changed, although the memory of the look that penetrated the soul and heart remained. I died, Dean repeated in his mind, staring at his own hands. They seemed to be transparent, and from behind them, Castiel smiled sadly. Tears glistened in his eyes, threatening an imminent outpouring of feelings that, like a rushing river, no one could stop or turn back.

So.

Things happened and I found myself aching to bleed some words onto digital paper. A sweet, silly idea of - *chuckles shyly* - a friend (@fluffsnake <3) inspired me to write little something. But I am not that funny when writing and I have tendency to lean into angst and fluff instead. And here you have a result of that. Nothing big or original. Just me and my destiel feelings. (It's short, I promise)

If you want to look into aforementioned fluffy's idea for a drawing, here ya go. I, for one, am waiting impatiently! For anything they want to share, really :> Go look for yourselves, the art is amazing.

[cas-coding]

spn poetry month - day 3 - childhood - @spnpoetryrenaissance

counting by @deans-gayboy

four is a funny number

innocence up in flames

rain on the windshield

as dad drives us away

eight is weird too

heavy metal in my grasp

shoot at anything that moves

yet i’m still scared of the dark

at thirteen i’m at a new school

do i want to hold her hand?

or do i just miss the days

my mother would tuck me in

sixteen is dark alleys

money in my sweaty palm

i lie and say i’m good at poker

and buy my brother new shoes

seventeen goes up in flames

and i’m four again

watching my mother burn

as i set love ablaze

but he’s only four

and i’m forty-three

and maybe i should have learned

that kids and guns don’t mix

[bloodydeanwinchester]

DESTIEL IN EVERY EPISODE → 5x04 the end

dean immediately clocking 2014!dean's jealousy like "what could this mean???"

[geraniumsky]

I wrote something, four drabbles for the PB100 challenge on the Profound Bond discord. AO3 tells me my four carefully counted 100 word drabbles add up to 399 words and I'm just going to ignore that.

One drabble leans into the teen rated side of things, otherwise they're pretty g-rated. Even when it's not clear, there are destiel feelings all the way.

[uzubebe]

purgatory

type: one shot

pairings: dean winchester x fem!reader (mutual pining, friends to lovers?), sam winchester x fem!reader (estranged besties)

disclaimer: i don’t write often, but i’ve been rewatching supernatural and i have so many idea. this may not be the best, but just some self indulgence. i love sammy with my whole heart but he needed to be told off ok.

summary: the dick was dead. dean and cas were gone. and you didn’t rest a wink while searching for them. unfortunately it turns out dean wasn’t the only one sam abandoned that year.

“cmon there has the be something” you sighed, aimlessly scrolling through 14 open tabs on your laptop and a pile of messy papers scattered across the motel table. you slammed your hands on the table in frustration, letting out a shaky breath and gripping your fists tight.

it had been a year. an entire year without dean winchester. the second he vanished you had delved into aimless research in a desperate attempt to find him. you had to busy yourself, because thinking about his absence for too long caused an indescribable pain to open up in your chest.

you had only broken down three times in your year long search, which you figured was a record for someone going through what you were. you’d spent countless nights crying yourself into restless sleep, sleep filled with dreams and nightmares about the eldest winchester.

you crammed your hands to your tired eyes in a hurry, shaking your head vigorously in an attempt to wake yourself. you had to focus because you sure as hell knew sam wasn’t doing anything about it.

after deans disappearance sam explained that he needed time and space, which you understood. you cared for him just as much as you cared for his eldest brother. he had been your best friend for as long as you could remeber. and this was his brother, someone he didn’t want to learn how to live without.

you didn’t realize that time and space meant him also disappearing for an entire year with zero contact. you tried to understand him in the beginning, tried to rationalize why he would leave with no warning or explanation, because there had to be one right ? after four months you decided he wasn’t coming back and it was your job to find his brother.

you felt tears well in the corners on your eyes, inhaling a sharp breath and stretching your arms to regain your composure, gearing up for more research instead of dwelling on the loneliness.

you were pulled from your thoughts as your phone began vibrating vigorously from your bag. you quickly pulled yourself from the chair, feeling your body creak, this year had aged you in more ways than one.

you pulled your phone from the bag and froze. you narrowed your eyes, studying the caller id in absolute astonishment.

dean winchester.

you scoffed in disbelief, settling on the first emotion that bumbled up your throat, anger. you quickly hit the answer button.

“listen, i don’t know who the fuck this is. but lose this fucking number, i don’t have time for prank-“ you started spitting vigorously into the phone, being cut off at the gruff laugh that echoed through the speaker.

“…dean?” you whispered. it couldn’t be. how was he calling you?

“yeah, y/n. it’s me” he said softly, this time the tears came pouring out without warning, you let out a sad sob mixed with some kind of laugh.

“where are you? please tell me where you are.” you begged, he quickly gave you his address and within second you were tumbling into your car and speeding to him.

-

once arriving you let out a sigh, mentally preparing yourself for something you had been longing for for the last year. after 2-3 seconds of this you decided you couldn’t wait a second longer. you barreled out of the car and began your search for their motel room, suddenly turning into an olympic runner as you looked at each room number. you breath hitched in your chest as you finally arrived in front of the door. you knocked briefly before swiftly barreling into the room. nothing could’ve stopped you from getting inside that room, and there was no time for pleasantries and manners.

“dean!?” you screeched, scanning the room. your eyes landed on him as he stood from the motel bed to greet you, a sense of overwhelming relief washed over you as you ran to him.

within second you were in his arm, tears flooding your eyes as you buried your head into his chest. you felt an arm tighten around you waist, as he cradled the back of your head with his free hand.

“shh, it’s okay y/n. i’m here. i’ve got you.” he whispered, trying to calm you from the heartbreaking sobs escaping your chest. you gripped the back of his shirt, pulling him as close as you could, fearing that if you let go he may disappear once again. after what felt like hours and finally realizing that this was real, you slowly pulled for him allowing him a minute to truly study your appearance.

you looked exhausted. your hair that had been previously above your shoulders now hanging loosely below your shoulder blades, tangled and messy. the bags under your eyes had grown, and you looked like you hadn’t eaten a proper meal in ages.

“y/n…what happened? are you okay?” he asked, concern flooding into his pretty green eyes. you let out a laugh and wiped your nose. you moved from him slightly, opting to grip one of his hands to keep yourself grounded.

“uh..you happened. i’ve been looking in every nook and cranny in this god forsaken country trying to find you.” you explained, sending him a melancholy smile. he studied you, pulling you to him and setting a soft kiss to your forehead.

“thank you. i’m sorry. i wish i could’ve been here.” he whispered, setting his forehead to yours. you closed your eyes, smiling softly.

“you’re here now.” you realized, letting out a breath that it felt like you had been holding for the past year. it felt like you had been suffocating all this time, and seeing him finally allowed you to breath properly again. you were basking in this feeling, inhaling the fresh oxygen that would only be provided by the presence of dean winchester.

you were trapped in your thoughts, that was until you heard a slight cough from behind dean, interrupting your moment.

“if you’re going to say something. don’t.” you demanded moving from dean, and seeing his younger brother sitting awkwardly on the bed behind him.

“listen-“ sam began, but you quickly cut him on, shaking your head as you moved further into his view.

“no sam. i don’t have to listen. you left. crowley told you that you were on your own and you just took his fucking word and ran with it. i was here. i was here the entire time and you just left ! so you don’t get to tell me to “listen.” not when i spent the last year destroying myself to find your brother, while you went off and got a fucking dog.” you spat, sam straightened up slightly, fidgeting with his hands. you were shaking uncontrollably, the prior moment of bliss was being overpowered by the rage and loneliness you had kept locked up throughout the last year.

“how do you…?” he asked, trailing off as he tried to gain the courage to meet your eyes again. you let out a cynical laugh, balling your hands into a tight fist.

“yeah. i looked for you. i was concerned. i needed to make sure you were okay. but you’ll never guess what i found. to my pleasant surprise i saw you playing house with a pretty brunette and friendly little dog. so you’ll have to give me a lot more than a sob story about how you couldn’t handle dean being gone for me to ever forgive you.” you said, moving closer to sam. he hadn’t ever seen you this way, so angry. he had to admit he was slightly unnerved and almost scared.

“because you know who else couldn’t handle it ? me. but i didn’t just lose dean, i lost you too. i called you daily for weeks, desperate for some kind of explanation. i was going out of my mind, alone in dingy motel rooms without the two people i needed most. and then, after a few months, i couldn’t even get your voicemail, just an automated voice telling me i was desperately trying to reach a disconnected number.” you were seething. you felt like every vessel pumping your blood was boiling, your raging heartbeat pounding in your ears, you thought you might pass out.

“so i don’t want to hear about how there was “a girl.” because there was a girl here the whole goddamn time. a girl who had been by your side for years. and you. still. left.” you continued, sam found himself staring at the floor, studying its pattern, because he couldn’t take the look of absolute betrayal that consumed your eyes.

“and guess what ? i didn’t get the fairytale year you had. because my person, the one i wanted to be with. the one i wanted to settle down and get a fucking dog with, was gone!” sam flinched at your tone. by the end of it, you found yourself screaming, throat feeling hoarse as you finally took a breath.

you calmed instantly as you felt deans hand reach for yours. you inhaled a deep breath and turned to him. not even realizing you had practically confessed to the years of pent of feelings you had for the man.

“y/n. i understand. really, i’m upset too. angry even. but let’s take a breather, yeah? you need a good meal, and an even better nap. why don’t we get out of here, give each other some space, regroup later?” dean suggested. you hadn’t noticed his watery eyes and unsteady voice. he was brought almost to tears at the state you were in, at what his absence had caused. you nodded slowly moving closer to him. sam slowly stood up.

“just call me when you guys are ready. y/n…i’m sorry. i really am.” he whispered, you didn’t turn around to look at him. you knew yourself well enough to know that those puppy dog eyes would make you feel insurmountable guilt, they always had. but you didn’t regret what you had said, it was the truth. and right now, you weren’t sure what could help you forgive your former best friend.

dean gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. he looked back to sam and sent him a sad smile as he led you out of the motel room.

he stopped and turned to you once the door clicked shut. he studied you, narrowing his eyes as you suddenly became incredibly fascinated with the small rock next to your left foot. you forgot what it felt like to have him watching you so intensely.

“where were you?” you whispered, finally meeting his gaze, relief washing over you instantly, he was here. he was real.

“uh…purgatory. guess standing to close to dick when he died gave me a one way ticket to his afterlife.” dean explained, you scoffed slightly, mentally punching yourself at the realization.

“fucking purgatory. of course. i should’ve figured that out. god.” you cursed yourself, how could you have been so stupid ? of course he was in fucking purgatory. dean picked up on the fact that you were internally blaming yourself for his disappearance and immediately took action.

“hey. hey.” he whispered, settings his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look at him. he bent down to your level, a stern look on his face.

“do not, for one second, blame yourself. none of this was your fault, and you’ve done more than i could’ve ever anticipated. i know it was a hard, even excruciating year, but i’m here now. and i’m not going anywhere.” dean insisted, you studied the look in his eyes. it was one you hadn’t seen from him before, or maybe it had been so long that you just needed to re-educate yourself on his mannerisms.

“okay. thank you.” you whispered, setting one of your hands atop his. he scoffed slightly at you thanking him, when they should’ve all been thanking you.

“cmon, let’s get you something to eat sweetheart.” dean smiled, moving to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and walking you towards the car. you nuzzled into his side, wrapping your arms instinctively around his waist.

“think i made sam cry.” you scoffed slightly, replaying the intense speech you shoved down sam’s throat.

“yeah well i’m thinking maybe he needed to hear it.” dean stated, you let out a sigh and nodded.

“and for the record, i would’ve really liked it. settling down and getting a dog with you. i wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else.” dean declared, setting his lips to the top of your head, feeling him slightly smile into your hair. you’re smile grew, it felt like your heart was finally beating normally again. you dug your head further into his side in embarrassment.

“well i guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time.” you whispered, giving deans waist a reassuring squeeze.

“great plan, so we thinking doberman? golden retriever? maybe something small like a chihuahua or something?” dean joked, pulled you tighter into his chest with a laugh.

“shut up” you giggled, punching his chest playfully, sending him a big grin as he continued to chuckle. and since being back, dean felt okay again, at least for that moment. cause the two of you were together once again, and he had the ability to make you smile like that. he wanted to do it for the rest of his life.

[nyxlinak]

I love teenchester fanfics with the pov of an outsider (like a teacher, a store employee or motel neighbor) thinking that Dean with the bad boy reputation is being an abusive brother to Sam the sweet boy who loves school. So they try to protect Sam by taking him away from Dean (discreetly or directly) . Later, they end up realising that they were wrong.

[cursed-byesexual]

I'm such a sucker for fics from the pov of some NormalPerson™ who tries to understand what the actual fuck is going on with your fave. For example;

- Hermione's parents sort of got used to their daughter talking about dragons and curses and she makes it sound like its no big deal so they just go along with their strange kid. Except now there's a man at the door who says he's the minister of magic and he would like to personally invite you and your daughter to the first memorial of the final battle as she is a war hero of the highest order. What do you mean there was a war? Hermione, get down here this instant!

-Or a true crime podcast about the crimes of Sam and Dean Winchester through the eyes of someone who went to college with Sam. He hosts podcast nights and everytime one of Sams alleged kills is described he tells the friends who are listening with them about that time Sam went vegetarian for a month after watching a nature channel docu.

-Or Percy Jackson returns to a mortal high school after one of his adventures and one of his teachers has to try and decipher the transcripts from his old schools. How the fuck did this little skater boy blow up his last school? Why isn't he in prison??? Or dead??? The parent-teacher conference night that follows is one for the ages as Sally Jackson lies her ass off, but with skill.

-Or John Watson decides to go to a class reunion against better knowledge and Sherlock tags along to learn more about John out of boredom. His former classmates don't understand what the hell Sherlock Holmes is doing at their party if there hasn't been a murder and absolutely come to the conclusion that the two are together. They have to be, right?

Basically anything that puts these unhinged adventures and relationships into perspective I guess, sorry if these don't make sense,,, tag me if you know any fics of this sort! For any fandom! Or comment you own hc!!!

[xofemeraldstars]

HMMMMMMM

[patrickispinky]

Therapist: Mr.Winchester, your life isnt a movie.

Sam: i hope its a short film

Therapist: ....

[nayeliq1]

Words Unheard

~oOo~

~oOo~

~oOo~

~oOo~

Pendant to Castiel's poem

Fic based on the poems

[littlebluejaydraws]

Every fool's got a reason for feeling sorry for himself, and turning his heart to stone

ID: A series of 3 digital drawings showing Dean and Castiel from Supernatural. They are all simple black line drawings on white backgrounds with block shading in grey with occasional red highlights, and lyrics written over the images. The first image shows Dean crawling out of his grave from episode 4x01. The viewpoint is from above, and shows Dean shoulders up emerging from the hole, with a rough wooden cross marking the head of the grave. The lyrics read: "Tonight this fool's halfway to heaven/ and just a mile out of hell". The second image shows Dean stabbing Cas' chest from episode 4x01. The side of Dean's face is just visible to the left of the image, with Cas facing him, and Dean's hand still holding the knife. There is red on Dean's knuckles and running down from where the knife is buried in Cas' chest. The lyrics read: "And I feel like I'm coming home". The third and final drawing shows Cas front on, the pose taken from episode 4x01. There are bullet holes in his coat and red blood running from the tear over his heart, where Dean had stabbed him. There are loosely sketched black wings stretched open behind him. The lyrics read: "These are better days, baby/ There's better days shining through/ These are better days, baby/ Better days with a girl like you". End ID.

[zuzajs14]

Read more on ao3

I am glad to announce that my destiel fic is officially finished. 8 chapters of the oryginal team free will running around the seaside. Some case solving, clothes shopping, bed sharing, monster fighting and struggling to communicate. There is some fluffy and there most definitely is angst.

But worry not. It has a happy ending 😘

I just really wanted a beach episode for them 🏖️💚💙

[lakemichigans]

“I forgot you do that. Whenever we get – what’s the word – close? Anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability? You back off, or make some joke, or find any way to shut the door on me.”

FAVORITE SPN COUPLES (1/?) → Dean & Cassie

[fandom-eater67]

I'm the one who gripped you tight-

and shook you so hard to try to get you to see something in yourself that I was the only one who thought to try and see..

and you didn't until your hands touched the dirt of the earth and never resurfaced again.