chapter summary: sabine, ezra, chopper, jacen, and hera head to lothal for a celebration in ezra's honor
chapter word count: 2K
a/n: not the best chapter. later than normal. no beta. i'm starting to understand why i usually write the entire fic before i post chapters. bon apetite.
taglist:@laughingphoenixleader@accidental-spice@kanerallels@piraterefrigerator@jedi-nurse@dootchster@lucasbridger@redroverrider@light-umbra@commander-tech {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}
also on ao3!
Chapter 4: Dar'tome
Despite how restlessly she'd slept that night, she still found waking up in the morning to be a miserable and tiresome thing.
She ought to be used to this by now. How many night's sleep had Sabine already lost because of Ezra, keeping herself up with the thoughts of "where is he now?" and "I could've stopped him?" and "why did he have to do something so kriffing stupid in the first place?" Losing sleep over him was nothing new— but like this?
Sabine shivered and curled back under her blanket, trying not to remember her warm wakeups from the past few days, or the joy she'd felt in her dreams last night, or the conversation from last night that had her in such a stupid funk.
Ezra had started talking about his feelings.
And she had walked out on him.
Given her experience with people, she knew what would happen next. Once she'd somehow convinced herself to get out of bed, she'd run into Ezra. If she was lucky, they'd awkwardly avoid each other all day. If she was unlucky, there'd be angry glares and a few heated words— and if she was really unlucky, there'd be a conversation about feelings, and if there was one thing she didn't want to talk about right now, it was that.
So she was surprised when, upon entering the galley and finding Ezra and Jacen laughing over their plates of space waffles, instead of ignoring or snarking at her, Ezra greeted her with a smile, and a "good morning, 'Bine."
"Morning, Ezra," Sabine said, waiting for it to register in Ezra's mind that he was supposed to be annoyed with her this morning, "morning, Jacen."
"Morning, aunt 'Bine," Jacen said, "mama left your breakfast on the counter."
Sabine rolled her eyes at the dish of space waffles next to the nanowave, wondering when Hera would remember she was old enough to make her own breakfast.
"Did you sleep okay?" Ezra asked, without a touch of irony or insincerity.
"Yeah," Sabine shrugged, as she poured herself a lukewarm cup of caf, "once I finally got to sleep."
"Good," Ezra smiled.
Ezra hadn't said anything rude to her yet, so she figured he wouldn't freak out if she sat next to him, like she had last night.
"Aunt Sabine," Jacen said, "are you coming to Lothal with us? Mama said there's gonna be a celebration."
"Hera said that as soon as Governor Azadi heard I was back in the galaxy, he declared today some kind of planetary holiday," Ezra explained, "something about me being a hero and all that stuff. There's gonna be a parade, and a feast, and a bunch of speeches or something."
"Can't wait," Sabine rolled her eyes, then smiled at the boys, "I'll be there."
"Yay!" Jacen pumped his fists in the air "mama said all of Uncle Ezra's old friends are gonna be there!"
"Then who would I be to miss it?" Sabine smiled.
"I'm gonna go tell Mama you'll be there," Jacen said. He left his mostly-eaten breakfast on the table and raced off to the cockpit, leaving Ezra and Sabine alone together again.
"Maybe the only reason he wasn't being weird about last night was because Jacen was here," Sabine thought, "now that the kid's gone, he can talk about it."
"Did you sleep okay?" Sabine found herself asking, trying to fill the silence before he did.
"Not really," Ezra said, "were the bunks on The Ghost always so hard and uncomfortable?"
"I guess," Sabine half-laughed.
"Yeah," Ezra shrugged.
After an uncomfortable minute of silence, Ezra spoke up again.
"Look, Sabine," Ezra said.
"Here it comes," Sabine thought.
"Yeah," Sabine sighed, "look, I…"
"I'm sorry," Ezra said.
"What?" Sabine asked. If anyone had to be sorry, Sabine would've thought it was her, what with walking away from him after he'd done something so small.
"I guess I wasn't thinking very clearly last night," Ezra said, "I feel like I might've made you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry."
This was probably the best possible outcome, right? He didn't ask her to explain herself. She didn't have to worry about him trying to flirt with her again. Everything could go back to the way it was.
"It's okay," Sabine said.
So why did her forgiveness feel like a lie?
"Good," Ezra said, "because you're the best friend I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."
Was it because he'd dismissed his affections for her as "not thinking clearly" and simply called her his "friend?"
But Sabine simply nodded and smiled and tacked on a "yeah," wondering if Ezra knew what she meant— that she never wanted to lose him again either.
But before she could find the words to say it, Jacen and Chopper came in, and she knew she'd be best to drop the conversation, especially because she might've led herself to say something very stupid.
— — —
Ezra had a good view of Lothal as The Ghost jumped out of hyperspace, and Sabine had a good view of him as he saw his home planet for the first time in a decade. His eyes lit up with their soft blue glow, and his smile parted to make room for half a laugh and a sigh of amazement.
"Just like you remember it," Sabine asked, leaning on the back of Ezra's seat in the cockpit.
"Better," Ezra shook his head, and though Sabine could tell he wanted to say more, for once he'd apparently been rendered dumbstruck instead of just dumb.
Sabine had been on Lothal for a while before she'd found Ezra, but now it seemed to come to life in all kinds of new ways as she watched it come into view over Ezra's shoulder. The closer they got to the planet's surface, the more landmarks he pointed out with amazement and wonder, at how much had changed, and how much was still the same.
"Look, there's the old comm tower," Ezra pointed out, as they flew past the tower en route to the capital.
"Yeah," Sabine nodded, trying not to let on that he wasn't the only one who'd taken up residence there.
Hera brought The Ghost over Lothal City, which was rich with color and a palpable spirit of festivity today, and landed behind the Capitol building.
"All these people are here to see me?" Ezra asked, noting the large crowd already gathered in their hangar.
"The whole city's here to see you," Sabine said, "if not most of the planet. You're their hero."
Ezra smiled, which is almost redundant even to note in light of how much he'd been smiling since they made it out of hyperspace, but this one was somehow different. Instead of just being the smile of a soldier returning home from a long battle, this one was of a soldier realizing his sacrifice mattered, that he'd done something to bring change in the lives of the people he fought for.
Moments later, Lothal's hero stood before his friends as the ramp onto the ship lowered, Sabine and Chopper at his right, and Hera and Jacen at his left.
Sabine started recognizing faces even before the ramp was in position— Jai, Ryder, Tseebo, Senator Organa— and wondered if Ezra remembered them— or if they would've recognized him if they hadn't known he was coming. He hardly looked like the same young man who'd left them all those years ago— though his heart had scarcely changed.
Jai, Ryder, Leia, and a few others with political significance stepped forward to greet him.
"Welcome home," Jai said, and as he noticed Ezra's confusion as he tried to remember who he was, he gave him a hint by addressing Ezra with a familiar nickname, "Dev Morgan."
"Jai?" Ezra asked, "Jai Kell?"
The two boys were about to give each other a hug, when Jai got pushed out of the way by someone with twice his size and massive purple hands.
"Zeb?" Ezra asked.
"It really is you," Zeb laughed and picked Ezra up as he gave him a hug— which was something that, ten years ago, Sabine never would've thought she'd see.
Chopper beeped something at Zeb along the lines of an "I-told-you-so."
Zeb set Ezra down and addressed the droid.
"I believed you right away!"
Chopper beeped back at him.
"And I did not put a wager on it." Zeb grumbled.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure you did."
They turned to see Kallus walking over to them, through the gap in the crowd that had been caused by Zeb's pushing and shoving to get to his long-lost crewmate.
"If memory serves," Kallus said, "you owe the droid and I each fifteen credits."
"Kallus?" Ezra asked, "you gambled on me coming home?"
"I spent too long trying to get rid of you to think it'd be that easy," Kallus smiled at Ezra, "welcome back, Bridger."
"You couldn't've waited another two years to come back?" Zeb mumbled at Ezra over his shoulder as he handed some credits to both Kallus and Chopper.
Ezra laughed, "if you want, I can go missing again for another decade or two."
"Don't you ever do that again," Zeb said, the same way he would've told Ezra not to disturb him while he was sleeping in the old days.
"Yes sir," Ezra said, "but that's hardly a way to talk to someone who saved your life…."
"Hey," Zeb said, "I thought we were even!"
"Well," Ezra smiled, "technically, I also saved your life when I saved the entire planet…"
"I'm beginning to wonder why we even wanted you back," Zeb said, and he ruffled Ezra's hair like he was still a little kid.
"Well," Senator Organa said to Ezra, "I suppose that's a warmer welcome than we ever could've offered you. The New Republic owes you a debt of gratitude, Ezra."
"Thank you, ma'am," Ezra said, "it's good to be back."
"It's good to have you back," Ryder said, "Lothal welcomes you with open arms."
"Then let's get this party started," Ezra said.
Everyone laughed a little, but for Sabine, it was a lot.
In all of the greetings and reunions, she'd kept a bit of distance, and as he was swept away with the crowd, she fell behind, watching from the outskirts as he followed them onto the festivities.
———
Sabine had taken her time in getting to the Capitol balcony— she'd seen parades on Lothal; she wasn't missing much. When she finally made it there, she'd expected to see everyone huddled around Ezra, hounding him with questions and support and camaraderie, and for her place to be off to the side, apart from it all.
Instead, there seemed to be a little space near where Ezra stood. She saw him turn back and smile at her— double-taking as though he hadn't expected to see her, but had hoped to regardless— and nodded at the empty space next to him, gesturing for her to join him.
"How could I refuse Lothal's hero?" Sabine thought, though she didn't really need an excuse to be close to him anymore.
"This is strange," Ezra told her, Sabine barely able to hear him over the sound of the parade below.
"What is?" Sabine asked.
"Having a parade in my honor," Ezra said, then waved at the people below, "usually we try to stop these things.'
"A lot has changed," Sabine said, "but I can't say I don't miss adding some fireworks of my own sometimes."
A firework exploded above them, though it didn't stand out much against the midday sky.
"Ametuer," Sabine rolled her eyes.
Ezra smiled a little, and she found herself smiling back.
Zeb, who was standing at Ezra's other side, started talking to him, and Jacen and Chopper, standing in front of them, joined in, but above the noise around them, she couldn't hear the boys at all.
But why did that bother her? Why was it so hard to have to share Ezra's attention now?
She knew the answer to that one— she'd stumbled upon it last night— those kriffing feelings she'd somehow grown for him, the ones that had, against all logic, made her turn away from him last night.
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