#jak is not the first and he won't be the last

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippet Friday: Faulty Info au Strikes Back

Jumping back to the first chapter I'd posted, this is the immediate follow-up. Warnings for mentions of medical trauma (via the Dark Warrior Program)

The scanner the young woman waved over Jak's body was old technology by the standards of most. Cast-offs from Haven, welded together with bits and curses. But to Jak, it was as strange and new as the vehicles he'd seen since his rescue. What was the woman looking at on that screen? What could she see? He craned his neck, trying to see.

"Keep still, young'un," the woman scolded.

She waved the boxy device close to Jak’s ribcage and it sounded a long tone. The medic frowned at the readout and tapped it a few times. Periodically, she stopped to write something on a notepad. Jak watched the medic get a little more tense with each note, and her eyes darkened a little bit more. He knew by now that when someone's eyes looked like that, pain was sure to follow. 

They hadn’t strapped him down, though. And the door was unguarded. Weary though he was, Jak was pretty sure that he could escape the woman and the king both if he had to. The question of where to go after that was shoved away, to be dealt with later.

The medic returned and sat down on a stool across from Jak. "How old did you say you were again?" she asked.

"Fifteen." Jak closed one eye to think. "Maybe almost sixteen? I don't know what season it is."

For some reason, that seemed to be the wrong answer.

"You're sure?" The medic pressed, "That's how old your parents say you are?"

The dark eco throbbed, hot and acidic, against Jak’s ribs. His mood darkened with it.

"I never had parents," he signed, and not very politely, "Uncle had to guess."

An expression of understanding crossed the medic's face. "Ah. Were you tall as a little tot?" she asked.

Jak shrugged. "I guess so."

He'd always been taller than Keira and Daxter, anyway. There weren't many other children to compare heights with in Sandover.

"Why the questions, Maud?" Damas asked from the back of the room. He folded his arms and raised a brow. "Do you suspect his age is incorrect?"

The medic, Maud, leaned back to retrieve her notebook and flipped through the pages. 

"My lord," she said, "this young'un's physical development has been altered slightly by the dark eco poisoning, but not enough to change the development of his bones."

"My bones?" Jak was alarmed. "What about my bones?!"

Maud didn't look up from her notes, missing Jak’s question. "Comparing average Spargan and Havenite skeletal development to the eco scan, this boy has barely entered puberty. He can't be older than thirteen, by my calculation."

Thirteen?!

There had to be some mistake. Jak wasn't that young! He was just a late bloomer, that's what Samos always said. 

Samos wouldn't have sent a thirteen year old kid to fight Gol and Maia and all those Lurkers alone, right? 

...right?

Damas reached out and took the notes from the medic, and a chill ran down his spine. Only thirteen. This child was only thirteen and he had already suffered so much.

Please, Precursors, Winds, Volcan- anyone: don't let Mar suffer the same-!

Dark eco had been pumped forcibly into the boy's body for several months at least, according to the scan. Oddly, where most poisoning cases would have already had the unstable eco spreading through their body, Jak's case was isolated to his torso.

"How is-" Damas's voice betrayed him, weakening to a croak. He swallowed, cleared his throat, and asked, "How severe is the concentration of eco? Will he require an antidote?"

Maud sucked on her teeth and grimaced. "Ayup, I think so. Don't rightly know how he's keeping it from getting into his muscle fibers right now, but I doubt he can keep it up forever."

That, at least, Damas knew how to fix. Wordlessly, he moved to the shelves full of jars and boxes and began hunting for the ward's carefully conserved supply of light eco. The search, at least, could hold his attention and keep his mind from wandering too far from the matter at hand.

"What of his immunizations? Has he had any?" He asked over his shoulder.

"He said they didn't have a doctor in his village, just a green eco sage," Maud answered, "Which suggests he hasn't had many of his shots."

Jak immediately recoiled at the mention of shots. They were going to inject him with something! Blind panic seized him, and he bolted.

No more! No more pain! I won't let you!

"Hey, no-!" Maud skidded around the bed and jumped in front of the door. "Dangit, kid! You're still poisoned!"

Wild-eyed, Jak tried to shove her aside. The young woman barely budged. Spargans, it seemed, were very solidly built. Maud raised her hands and spoke quietly, trying to calm him, but the words seemed to float above his head as if he was underwater. Maud stepped closer, hands coming too close to Jak to feel safe. Panicking, he snapped at her fingers; she pulled back quickly. The dark eco boiled in Jak’s blood, and he could feel it spreading, seeping deeper into him. 

No-! 

With all his might he pushed at the chaotic substance, forcing it back into the wounds. 

His emotions were raw, and at any moment he felt he was about to snap. The medic still blocked his escape.

I don't- I don't want to hurt you! But- But you need to move!

With a silent snarl, Jak drew back and tensed to charge the woman, fist raised.

For years after, he would wonder how the king had moved so fast. One second he was peering into a glowing jar behind the counter, then within a heartbeat his arms were around Jak, restraining him as gently as he could manage against his chest. 

Jak thrashed in his grip, desperate to escape, but Damas held firm.

"Stop," he grunted, trapping Jak's arms beneath his own. "Stop, child! She will not harm you! Be still. Be still, Jak."

Jak couldn’t speak like this, hands pinned to his sides. He shook his head violently and tried to force a word -- a sound, anything -- out of his throat. A rusty, scratchy, cry faltered and trailed off between gasps for air.

Damas tightened his arms. "Be still, child. Be still," he whispered, over and over until at last the boy went limp. His heart still hammered against Damas's forearm, and the king frowned. He doubted the boy had calmed. More likely he feared the consequences of further resistance.

"Poor kid." Maud shook her head and slowly relaxed her guarded posture. "I'm betting he doesn't have any kinda good association with doctors. Lemme make a chart up for him, and we can figure out immunizations later. I think for now the light eco is the most we should do."

She crouched in front of Damas, trying to look into Jak's eyes.

"Hey, hey there, soldier. Breathe, breathe in now."

She waited until Jak had sucked in a ragged breath, then gave him a sympathetic half-smile. "Now breathe out, nice and slow. Easy does it, eh, kid? No shots today, it's okay."

Suspicious, Jak narrowed his eyes at her. The medic didn't seem to be offended. She stood and offered the glowing jar to Damas.

"I'd rather counteract the worst of the dark eco exposure and let that settle before introducing anything new to his system. For all we know about dark eco, it could exacerbate any potential diseases instead of inoculating him."

Damas sighed heavily. 

"Boy," he said, "I am going to let go now. Do not try to bite the medic again. She opened the clinic in the middle of the night to help you, is that understood?"

Oh, Jak understood. But that didn't mean he believed it.

He nodded and waited for a chance to run.

Before he could try, the jar caught his attention. This close to it, he could feel the contents being drawn towards him. It was...eco. Not dark eco, but warm, bright, good eco! Even after the experiments, he could still feel it!

It wasn't quite like green, nor blue or red or yellow. It was...it was all of them at once, just like during the battle against the Acherons. Was it really, truly, light eco? All the way out here?

Damas opened the jar and dipped two fingers into it. Light swirled around his hand, not quite liquid, but not quite vapor. 

He was channeling! Was the king a sage as well? Was that possible? Jak couldn’t stop himself from reaching out for the ball of light. 

"Don't-!" Damas tried to pull it out of the boy's reach. 

Only a trained channeler could use eco to heal another. Without training, it could end up doing far worse damage than the wounds it was meant to heal.

To his bewilderment, the light eco all but leaped from his fingers to the boy's outstretched hand. It jumped from finger to finger in sparks before being absorbed into the skin. Jak yelped in surprise and shook out his hand, then blinked down at his torso with wide eyes. One cautious hand pressed against the skin over his ribcage, gently prodding.

When Jak looked up, the shock was evident on his face.

"It...can heal?"

It took a moment for the medic to answer, as Damas was still staring at the boy with a perturbed look.

"Ah...that is, yes, yes it does. But you- kiddo, how'd you-" Maud scratched her freckled nose and squinted at him. "Only sages and the king can float that stuff around like that."

"Yeah, and me." Jak shrugged in a distracted fashion. "I think Samos wanted me to be a sage, but he gave up."

After a moment, he realized the sage's sign nickname wouldn't mean much to people from another city, and amended, "the Green Sage tried to train me to be like him, but I was too wild."

Damas and Maud exchanged a meaningful look. 

If the boy was claiming to be a channeler, that could explain the Baron’s interest in him. Channelers had become rare in the last two generations, and now only Sages remained. If word got out that a young boy had begun channeling light eco-

Like Mar? Like I can?

Stop. Don't do this to yourself. Focus on the task at hand. Focus on preparations for tomorrow's tasks. Focus on the next breath, the next step. 

"This visit will remain confidential," he announced. It was not a question, nor a request.

"Of course, lordship." The medic saluted him gravely. "He's one of my patients now. Would help if I had a responsible party to schedule with, but I s'pose it can't be helped."

Damas glanced down at Jak, who watched him with a mixture of curiosity and caution.

"I..." Damas blew out a breath. 

"I intend to declare the boy a ward of the city until his last known relatives or connections come forward. Winds know we've had our share of them in the years after Atys. Until a guardian can be appointed, I will handle matters for him to preserve confidentiality."

The medic made a little "hmph" noise and bobbed her head. "Makes good sense t'me, sire. The whole city don't need to see his chart, after all."

She pivoted on her heels to face Jak.

"You take care, kid. When you've gained some weight, and the light eco has been fully integrated into your system, then we can talk about vaccines."

"What's V-A-K-S-E-E-N-S?" Jak spelled out the unfamiliar word as best he could. 

Maud cracked a smile that was considerably easier in manner than her earlier ones.

"What's a vaccine? It's...think of it like a medicine where we take a tiny, weak, itty-bitty form of a really nasty disease -- like Dune Pox, or White Flu, or Crane Cough -- and we inject it into your bloodstream. It's not enough to make you sick, it's just enough to teach your body what those germs look like. Then your blood cells learn to hunt down and destroy those diseases."

Jak remembered Samos talking about germs once or twice as a little kid. Nobody else in the village ever seemed to know what he was talking about. Little beasties too small to see that made you sick? Equally tiny bits in your blood that hunted the little beasties? It all seemed like a silly story for children. Something to make sick days easier to bear.

"That sounds fake." He narrowed his eyes skeptically. "Blood doesn't fight, it's just blood."

Maud blinked several times. She glanced up at Damas. "Remedial classes?" she guessed.

"I suspect so," Damas agreed.

Maud picked up the medical scanner again and took it back behind the sandstone counter. "I'll be running some tests on these results in the morning. Should I contact you if I find anything of note?"

With a sharp nod, Damas answered, "You have the palace frequency should the need arise." 

"Understood." Maud dragged her stool back and took a seat. "I'd have liked to keep Jak for observation after that light display, but I doubt that would be good for his emotional state. Will you alert me if there are any changes?"

Ah. Damas hadn't anticipated that. The boy would require supervision for the next few hours to ensure that the light eco was working as intended. Usually, patients remained in the medical ward until the observation period was over. But Maud was right: the longer Jak was around medical equipment, the more agitated he was becoming. High levels of stress wouldn't help his case much.

Well. You did say you would look out for the boy until a place could be found for him. It's not Sig or the boy's fault that you didn't fully think that through. 

Damas gave a short, sharp, nod, then guided Jak out of the clinic. The boy was decidedly more subdued than he had been a moment ago, and thanks to the light eco, his breathing had finally calmed. Between streets, he periodically glanced up at Damas, then away just as quickly. By the time they'd gotten to the palm row, Damas had had enough of it. He stopped and turned to look down at Jak. Jak winced and hung his head, signing a contrite apology.

"I am not the person you should be apologizing to, young one," Damas answered. He clasped his hands behind his back and clicked his tongue. "I understand that you panicked. I understand that you feared for your safety. You do not know us, why would you trust strangers? But fear dulls the senses, Jak. You must learn to breathe first, and act second."

Jak fidgeted with his fingers and stared down at his feet. None of the twisting motions were words. Just the awkward fidgeting of a frightened boy. He nodded miserably. 

Damas stepped closer and crouched slightly to look him in the eye. Don't think of Mar. Don't think of him, he told himself, no matter how much it felt like a betrayal.

"Every person in Spargus has a part to play and a job to do," Damas gently admonished the boy, "Maud's role is to ensure that our citizens are safe and healthy, and to treat them when they are injured, not injure them further. That's her job. If you had managed to harm Maud back there, she might have had difficulty caring for other citizens tomorrow."

Ashamed, Jak hitched his shoulders. He knew the man was right. And it wasn't like he'd even wanted to hurt Medic Maud. But he almost had, anyway, hadn't he?

"I'm sorry I tried to bite her," he signed again. "I'll...Should I go apologize?"

The king shook his head. "Wait for the morning. When the clinic is officially open, then you may apologize. If you are reminded of something that happened in Haven, or something she is doing causes you pain, you can tell her, or me. But I will not have you attacking my people, is that clear?"

"Yes sir." Jak's hands moved so little that he was barely above a whisper.

Damas nodded curtly and straightened. “Good. We wish to see you recover from your trials, Jak, but there will be rules to follow in this city. For the sake of clarity, consider "no biting the medic" your first rule."

Not that having such rules had prevented little ones from occasionally biting Maud and the pediatrician, Petros, before. Jak certainly wouldn't have been the first to try to take a chunk out of the person with the needle. Damas knew it was a little too optimistic to hope he would be the last.

The remainder of the trip to the palace was unnervingly quiet. The boy stole glances periodically over his shoulder, in the direction of the clinic, with a perturbed expression. Perhaps the details of his moment of panic were beginning to set in. Or perhaps he was stinging from the scolding. He walked with the body language of a younger child, fidgeting with guilt. It was a blessing that the dim torchlights did not illuminate them enough for Damas to see the color of Jak’s eyes. The reminders of his son clung to his ribs and ached with every breath.

Please be alive, my son. Be strong, for me. I will find you, I promise. 

[httpiastri]

ollie bearman x crawford!reader

the instagram story was subtle enough. or, at least, so you thought.

ollie didn't seem to agree.

it was a video of you in the newly bought sundress you'd decided to wear to the sprint race today; twirling around in your hotel room, the geotag of "silverstone circuit" in the top right corner. but none of this is what ollie cares about: it's the choice of background music.

they say home is where the heart is, but god i love the english. you know i love a london boy…

the poor boy nearly had a heart attack when he saw it in the paddock. he thought it was super obvious; "i love a london boy" could only mean one thing.

your relationship with ollie is still secret from everyone, including your brother, to ensure that people won't get involved in your private business. besides, once the news is out even in just the racing world, you know it will spread and get big in no time; that's the way it usually is with formula drivers. especially fan-favorites like ollie. so, for the moment, you've decided to just enjoy wherever this takes you, without caring what anyone else thinks. but now, he's scared you've blown it.

your instagram account is on private, so you aren't afraid of fans snooping around and seeing it. but still, it worries ollie; your brother follows you, and that is much worse than fans, he reckons. when you first started going out, you thought it would be natural to tell your twin brother about it, considering the fact that ollie is one of his best friends – but ollie disagreed. the whole dating your best friend's sibling-thing never went well in the movies, and that's all he had to go after.

the song echoes in his brain all morning. during the driver meeting, his pre-race briefings, even as he watches the f3 sprint. he likes my american smile like a child when our eyes meet; darling, i fancy you. all morning leading up to the race, he's distracted and can't think of anything else, though his mechanics and engineers think he's just focused on the race ahead of him. ollie needs some kind of closure, and it isn't until he spots you walking down the f2 paddock that he finds an opportunity.

it's not long before ollie is supposed to get into his car that he sees you on your way to the dams garage. the sundress you showed off in your instagram story looks even better in the real world, and he can't help but swoon at the sight of your smile lighting up the paddock just as much as the sun. he snaps out of it just in time, because when you walk past the prema garage, he swoops out and grabs your wrist, pulling you in.

"ollie-" is all you can get out because now he's pulling you along with him so fast that you can barely even keep up. you manage to nod and greet a few of the prema workers on your way – most people recognize you as jak's sister since you spent a lot of time in the paddock with them last year – but soon, ollie has managed to find you a secluded corner far in the back with no one around.

you rest one hand on his shoulder as you try to catch your breath, looking up at your boyfriend with pinched eyebrows. "you..." he starts, letting out a sigh. "your story on instagram..."

"what about it?"

you weren't usually one to tease him, so he assumes you are actually sincere in your current confusion. the thought of your story may have been etched into his mind for the last few hours and the reason behind his displeasure might be totally clear in his head – but you never were one to read thoughts, which he sometimes forgets. "jak is going to know."

you don't look any less confused by now, which makes ollie feel even more impatient. "why would he know?"

"the song choice. london boy, really? it's so obvious." he pauses for a moment. "you can't do that."

his words are meant as a warning, but the smile on his lips tells a whole other story. no matter how scared he is that your brother will find out that you've been hiding this relationship from him, he can't stop himself from finding it just a bit amusing. and with the way that you're still watching him with such an innocent look and your other hand is also reaching for his shoulder, there's no way he can hold back a grin.

"sweetheart, it's one of the most popular songs out right now. in the entire world. no one will even bat an eye. plus," you tilt your head. "i'm an american girl in england, so london boy is an obvious choice."

"you could've chosen so many other songs about england, but you had to choose that one?"

the chuckle leaves your throat instantly. "you're not even a london boy, ollie."

he knows he's lost. he knows he's just worrying about nothing, he knows there's a much bigger risk that someone finds out about you being here with him in the prema garage than jak connecting the dots from just your story. but he can't give up just yet.

"i'll forgive you. but on one condition," he says, and you immediately nod at him. "give me a kiss. for good luck."

there's not even a second of hesitation before you get onto your tippy toes, reaching up to him. your lips are pressed onto his once, then twice, then thrice. you're both smiling into it, and his hands cup your cheeks, holding you close when you part for the last time.

"you know," he starts, thumbs drawing circles into your cheeks. "i fancy you."

the giggle that leaves your lips is like music to his ears. did he actually study the song? "oh, oliver," you say, trying to pull off your most british accent. "darling, i fancy you, too."

[secriden]

so i wonder if anyone else has thoughts about mame's choices regarding sky vs tongrak's stories and how she tackled the complexity of loving and being loved.

when i first heard about love sea, i saw a lot of people say that fortpeat were just re-cast as sky and prapai but with tongrak being older and richer than mahasamut. personally, i think that's a pretty reductionist view because mame explored the idea of being afraid to love and be loved from very different angles and perspective in these two stories.

i will give that there are some similarities on the surface - peat's character does that whole 'pretends to hate it but secretly loves it' thing; the cat-like 'push and pull' thing and fort's character is still a overly excited, loveable golden retriever of a human being with a strong sense of self; also both sky and tongrak have had experiences which make them both fearful of 'love'.

but i think while sky's main fear is being loved, tongrak's is very much a fear of loving.

like, sky's story is very... raw. it's an exposed nerve, tender and painful and present. sky's fear is so immediately tied to his trauma which he's still in the throes of. the betrayal he faced was from the one who claimed to love him and it's telling that sky's first flashback is not triggered by his feelings FOR prapai but by prapai expressing his 'love' for him. this trauma is intimate and physical and close, but that means that the start of his healing journey can begin because of an external force (prapai) giving him that safety but also physically removing the threat. when sky begins to feel safe again, he is able to begin healing.

in contrast: tongrak's trauma is relatively... hmmm, separated (? not the best word but...) on a physical level. it doesn't make it less or even less painful (or more, or more painful), but his fear of love largely stems from how he sees the people immediately around him being hurt by love. he's internalised the idea that love doesn't last. mahasamut starts confessing his feelings pretty early on; like episode 4 mahasamut straight up goes, 'well you can't stop me from loving you' and tongrak's disapproving but he's not triggered. what's the difference between this and episode 10, i think, is that tongrak's actively fighting his own awareness of his feelings for mahasamut. it's why his fight or flight response is triggered by vie calling him out about his feelings in episode 8 and also why he tries to force parameters back into their relationship (my take: i don't care if you love me but i won't love you) in episode 10. but it's also why his healing doesn't actually come from an external force - yes, vie kind of knocks him out of his depressed stupor by hiding the bracelet, but note that tongrak's has that breakdown realisation ('please come back, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, can't you please come back to me? i'm afraid you'll end up hating me (emphasis added) if you love me') before he has that chat with vie. he's already realised that the root of his fear of mahasamut's love isn't the love itself, but the fear that if he admits his own love for mahasamut, it will eventually get betrayed. it's also why even after he resolves that he wants to try at a relationship with mahasamut, he still can't say it. at this point, his father's a non-entity in terms of the fear of him going after his loved ones - he's already been proven a weakling and a coward and also they're physically on the island so removed from jak that it shouldn't be an immediate fear anymore. no; this struggle is completely internal and it's why we linger on his heartbreaking attempts to confess (also, love sea had some pacing issues but i'm so so grateful they took time to show this part; bless fort for insisting on it!). tongrak's afraid to love but he pushes and pushes himself, and finally breaks through and its entirely on his own terms because of his own strength.

i'm not saying sky's weaker for (in a sense) needing someone else to rescue him before he could heal, but i think it just speaks to mame really telling quite a different story of healing with tongrak.

like... have you ever thought you'd healed from something and then it comes back in an unexpected way but then your response to the trigger is also different? the pain is there but it's... at once deeper but also more distant? a deep pulse rather than a high pitched shriek? and the way you go about beginning this new phase of healing is also different? i think that's whats happening here.

it's fascinating how us humans can fear vulnerability in so many ways, so many forms, on so many levels but i think the lesson mame's stories tell is that sometimes it really is worth it to become vulnerable. not with everyone, and not all the time (goodness, that would be foolish). but also, keep holding onto hope. keep looking for that right person, keep being kind to yourself and others. know that it's ok if your healing feels different, if you didn't catch it some point in the past, its not too late.

you'll be ok.

[hecketernal]

Everyone Thinks Jak Is Dying AU (Aka everyone miscommunicates to some pretty ridiculous and angsty levels but Jak's totally fine) ((pls read I swear I still have some comfort with this hurt some funny with the tragedy pls hear me out))

Explanation: I had had this weird impression that Jak was flat out dying from dark eco poisoning, when I was a kid. It seems kid me had made some assumptions from listening to Baron Praxis' propaganda stations where he flat out says, "The dark eco inside you will eventually kill you, Jak," and the way Jak first reacted to getting light eco.

Everyone else seemed to die in the Dark Warrior Project. Hell, they flat out acknowledge Jak should be dead himself from the amount of dark eco pumped into him. Even if a slow death via eco poisoning isn't what the games were going for, it would still make sense lorewise. The game will insta kill you for falling into the stuff.

Buuuuut for a moment just consider...applying that misconception to Damas and Jak's growing paternal bond.

Jak, in his freshly betrayed wariness, decides to hide his dark eco abilities. He's tired. He can't trust anyone except for Daxter, but Daxter is The Exception in capital letters and everything. Jak has found a force he can't or isn't equipped to beat within the long, hot stretch of the desert with no Keira to build a contraption to get them out. He doesn't even know... if Keira cares enough to build some zoomer with a heat shield or whatever would come to her mechanical mind for them anymore. None of his "allies" spoke up very loudly to defend Jak, so Jak stashes his otherness away. Well, he hides it to the best of his abilities. He'll never be a spy, but he can manage a few marauders in some Arena of Death with just a gun and some effort. Transforming had always been last resort anyways. With fear from his betrayal instead of anger leading him, he never transforms in front of all of Spargus to see. He's doesn't want to be Baron Praxis' renegade weapon, the man made monster that slipped its leash. He wants a moment without that. He can't go back to the kid from Sandover. He doesn't want to, but the idea of being just another exile like everyone else is...heady.

Jak doesn't know that he can't hide what's already been seen. Dark eco scars are distinctive, and Jak's were very visible during his stint with unconsciousness and heatstroke. The monks had attended to the two boys, but they had not done so silently. Precursor monks did not care to censor their muttering about dark eco corruption. Their prayers for salvation or less pain for the boy were easily overheard by the alert King of Spargus. It's likewise impossible to hide the way dark eco skitters towards Jak. The way it sinks into his skin. The way his pallor goes white. His face pained. The way the newest recruit sometimes clutches an arm, angling it away from view. Jak does manage to hide the growing claws with this action, so good for him. Bad for Damas.

Damas is under the impression that Jak is dying. Dark eco poisoning is an unpleasant but often inescapable death sentence for even the strongest warriors. He's known good Wastelanders that had to be buried after just a brush with the energy. It might be slow with this new recruit, but it will come all the same. Won't it? Damas tries his best to remain distant. His heart has already been shattered from the loss of one child, but it seems those broken shards are destined to break a little more. Jak is so damningly earnest for someone who tries to act jaded and tough. Damas can't remain distant. Every wall Damas builds is blasted away by the young warrior's newest actions. Damas is doing his best to hold himself together, but inside he is a mess. He doesn't want to lose another son. When Jak spoke of not knowing his father, Damas realized there was one thought more agonizing than losing another son, a lonely son dying fatherless. It catalyzes the father for he cannot stop thinking of himself as anything but a father. Isn't this what he always told himself he would do anything for? Another moment with his child? Damas will not squander the time they have left. Besides, the desert is rough and fickle, and violent death has come for all of Spargus' other kings. He might worry for naught. His death might come for him sooner than Jak's.

[sonicasura]

Today I discovered IDW Transformers Rung, a psychiatrist whose much more than he seems. He's too dad shaped to not drop into sudden parenthood. Look at him! You can't tell me this man wouldn't make such a delightful dorky father figure.

I already got a few characters in mind to drop him on. First is definitely going to be Jak from the Jak and Daxter series. Whether it be pre Jak 2/3 or Post 3 is in the air. I'm leaning to Jak, Daxter and the Kid being displaced with Rung in Transformers Prime. That or Earthspark. Most likely Prime because of comparisons between Eco and Energon.

Plus Jak seriously needs therapy alongside a hug. He's got a case of 'chosen hero' syndrome and self worth issues that needs to be handled.

Next is Sonic the Hedgehog specifically the Movie variant. Both will be displaced in either G1, Cybertron or Animated. I would say Prime just for Super Sonic vs Unicron but nah. Earthspark will be used in a different project with this iteration.

Rung ends up being a dad to a 3-5 year old Sonic, as i can't resist the image of him trying to raise a child that can fit in human sized pockets. Freshly traumatized hedgehog gets hugs alongside therapy. Also the hilarity that between the giant robot and his super fast child, it's Sonic someone has worry about as he will throw hands.

Last one for now is Ren Amamiya/Joker from Persona 5. Universe wise, Prime, canon divergent Bayverse or Knightverse be perfect for the two. Mainly cause Persona is an M rated series that are spurred from the design of particular Personas such as Mara to murder being a more uncommon occurrence. *Persona 4 was literally a murder mystery.*

Rung met and raised Ren when he was five years old. The bot would be unable to stop the unfair trial but definitely won't leave his kid alone in a different city. Plus Rung getting dragged into the Phantom Thieves' shenanigans by Ren. Kid already has a codename made for his pops: Guide.

What do you guys think? Should Rung be hit with the dad hammer?

[dingoat]

Tagged by @teacakes1799 thankyoouuu for tagging! :D

3 ships

Ahuska and Thirteen, if it isn't obvious, occupies 95% of my brain at the moment, even if they're more of a 'two idiots discovering responsibility shirking soulmates in one another' kind of ship who are pushing every possible boundary before facing the inevitable fact that their lives are on opposite sides of Imperial design in a very very incompatible way, I love it and I can't stand it. Stop it. They weren't designed to have chemistry with one another by daaaammmn if it's not going to be the death of me

Ahuska and EVERYONE ELSE that she has a (romantic) relationship or friendship or rivalry with I am so very into all of them, special shout outs to Crow (of course, OG storyline one true love and the ship that got me out of the biggest creative funk of my life), to her little Blakk fox who has been the driving force behind sooo much incredible storytime, and to Fynta who I definitely imagine as one of those souls she keeps bumping into in every universe, for better or for worse.

Special shout-out to Jak (mine) and Wylluf (NPC turned PC written by my husband) for THE best slowly built tabletop character relationship I've ever had the joy of experiencing.

First Ship

All my little novice early RP days many many years ago were in the Lion King fandom because, duh, animals are the best and animal stories are what I grew up on- thing is, I was always very much more into the animals-being-animals, natural history, group dynamics, melodrama made out of natural disasters and territory disputes etc, than into actual romantic plots a la Simba and Nala or Todd and Vixey etc etc. The first actual -couple- I can think of where I really got into the personal relationship side of things was with a pair of painted dogs I wrote with one of my oldest ever RP buddies. Mine was the bad boy who got exiled from the pack (I think he killed another dog? For good reason but nobody believed him?) and hers was the sweet girl who... followed him? Ran into him years later? My gosh, I barely remember a detail of the actual story but I remember that period of writing VERY VERY fondly.

Last Song

Spotify tells me it's Ed Sheeran's Celestial. Stupid pokemon song getting me all emotional every time, how dare. Stupid song that's all too easy to daydream about OCs with, how dare.

Currently Reading

I've promised to loan my copy of 'The Little Prince' to somebody but I've realised I absolutely must re-read it before I do, it's one of those books that I am convinced every person needs to read at least once. So I'm partway into that, but it won't take me long. I have quite a stack of books that I'm eager to get into and no idea what I'm going to pick next. (Teacakes, you've made me remember how badly I want to re-acquaint myself with Tamora Pierce, I adored the Wild Magic books when I was in school!)

Last Film

At the cinema? The Fall Guy. Wonderful. So much fun. I'd see it again. Actual last film watched (streaming at home) - X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Aaahahahaha knowing what I know about the universe now vs when that movie first came out, I can now 100% see why so many of my friends were so mad about it

Currently Craving

Lychees. Man what I'd give for a giant bowl of fresh lychees right at this moment.

Non obligational tags go to: @askshivanulegacy @saph-y @queen-scribbles @keldae @mimabeann @tearlessrain

[sarandipitywrites]

writing patterns tag game

rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

thanks for the tag, @adhdavinci! let's pretend this wasn't sitting in my drafts for a month 😅 go check out their lines here

passing the tag along (with no pressure) to @i-can-even-burn-salad, @macabremoons, @fanged-writer, @innocentlymacabre, @winterandwords, and an open tag for anyone who wants to share

sooo I'm gonna have to break some rules here bc I don't think I've even worked on 10 fics recently, much less posted them (not more than, like, a snippet at a time, anyway). so i'll start with what i've actually posted, then just... fuck it, we ball?

yeah that sounds good.

'Just stuff my dad into a bag,' she'd said. 'He'll fit, of course he will. Have you seen how small he is? He's bluffing, he won't really turn you into a fern,' she'd said. (Dead Roots, Dark Water, Ch 1)

For all his research, Daxter had never figured out who'd designed the Krimzon Guard Fortress. And it was a good thing, too, because if he ever did, he would shoot the architectural anarchist in the foot, run them over with a hellcat, and throw them in the port. Then he'd fish them out again just so he could shoot them in the face. (DRDW, Ch 2)

Magic and blood sit heavy on V’s tongue. (Untitled Cyberwitch WIP, Ch 1)

The silence amplified everything: the squeak of rusty nails in the boards beneath Luka's feet; the rat-a-tat rattle of the loose panes in the windows; Jules's unsteady breathing as they tapped on their phone; Luka's own stammering heartbeat. "I don't think we should be here." (I Am Alive)

I have always been here. (A Haunted Home)

'The monster is not your enemy.' A half-crushed note, faded and bled, written in his own hand: the only familiar thing in the room where Lienzo had awakened. (The Art of Empty Space (V2), Ch 1)

It was the pain that woke him. (TAES (V1), Ch i-don't-know,-i-didn't-section-this-thing-into-chapters)

The air coated his lungs in a thick layer of smog and exhaust, vapor and sweat and noise, cacophonous clanging competing for his attention. Engines, alarms, voices. Jak let them all in, let them bury him in a landslide of stimulation. It wasn't stale, silent, recirculated air. It was alive, and so was he. (DRDW, Ch 3)

Metal shrieked against metal. Violet paint streaked across the green of his speeder. Screaming. Crackling eco slugs reached out with staticky tendrils as they whizzed by. (DRDW, Ch 10)

The ocean breeze brought with it decay: rotting seaweed infested with sandflies; drowned fish with oil and eco caked in their gills; algae and mildew and rotting wood. Its icy fingers trailed goosebumps down his skin, cooled the blood beneath. (DRDW, Ch 13)

so, if we're looking for patterns, i think it looks like... i really like character voices; starting en media res; and starting with some really vivid descriptions. anything you guys see that i missed?

[miqojak]

I - Inventor - How creative is their thinking? Do they seek out the opinions of others or rely on their own ideas? What’s their problem solving approach?

Does she seek the opinions of others? Absolutely not! They should be asking for her opinion! There are only two people whose opinions matter, and that she would seek out... and really, she only seeks one of their opinions. Her boss, whom she respects immensely, and her lover! They are both wise, strong, and fearsome - men who are respected among the criminal underground, who have achieved precisely what she wants, and see the world through the same lens she does. But Ketsuchi, her lover, is who she turns to for most things she has questions about - she trusts his opinions and knows that their outlook on the world is the same, so he won't be steering her astray (plus after years of RP together, she has seen that he knows his shit, and respects that he knows more than her about the things she wants to be involved in... and she kind of puts him on the proverbial pedestal).

Problem solving... depends on the problem! It's funny to me that people get this very... violent vibe from Jak? It feels like people expect that her first reaction would be to punch someone, or attack them - and that's actually a last resort to solving a problem unless her hand is forced! Cats don't like to fight! Cats posture! Fighting may result in an injury that will then mean death - and I like making my anthro-people be heavily influenced by the animal they're based on... otherwise, why play an animal person?? Just play a Hyur! That said, Jak uses her words - she's talking circles around people, poking their weakspots, winding them up, making them uncomfortable... her weapons are her words, and they're just as sharp as the knives hidden on her person! If it's a big, complex problem though, she'll probably ask Kets for his opinion on what to do. She's learned a lot from him, actually, and has followed in his footsteps in paying 'little birds' to go about and spy and keep eyes on things for her... like how things are going in Garlemald.

As for how creative she is? She's an artist at heart and in reality - she gets all the artistic talent I wish I'd gotten! She can play piano by ear, and has nigh-photographic memory when she's drawing, and is an exceedingly talented artist! (She's also a superb cook!) This creative thinking uh, pairs well with her vicious insight and ability to sling insults.

[vixthefantheorist]

JSE Community Greet thing

I saw this pop up last week when I was sick and told myself I'd do this when I got better. Now that I am better, I figured to do this while it was still in my head! :D

EDIT: There isn't an secret code or anything... its just the coloring won't take to some of the letters for some reason. which is weird since it's all highlighted to me on my dashboard but some of the letters still are missing colors when I try to edit it for some reason

Preferred name: Vix, RifterVix (either or is fine)

Preferred pronouns: She/Her

When did you start watching JSE? God, It's been a long time but like a year or two before the whole Ego thing started, but I was an on and off viewer at the time

Why did you start watching JSE? Why? Because Sean's funny. At first he was a bit too intense, which was why I was on and off, but whenever I did watch him, he never failed to make me smile. So I got drawn more to him over time with that humor

What's your favorite things about the channel?

The strange humor and insults Sean did WAY back. They were some of the weirdest but creative things I have ever heard and made me laugh so much. Then the way he sees things and interprets them when he plays games. And I will admit his accent was a weakness for me in the fact that I loved the way he said certain things because his accent. And I was actually curious of how he came about and it was really cool to learn a bit more. Then the Egos are a favorite thing but are more recent than the other reasons I had. Plus with the Egos, my favorite thing is just... watching explore his creativity and expand upon it more confidence and I can't wait to see where he goes from here.

Do you have a fave ego?

Oh hell yes I do! Anti and Chase. Honestly I love all the Egos, its just those two have more information than the others. Until we get more information on everyone, my current faves are Chase and Anti.

What type of community member are you?

Theorist, first and foremost, I love theorizing and breaking down what clues we have from videos and such. It's a lot of fun to try to guess Sean's story for these Egos.

Also an author, I do like writing short fics of the Septic Egos when I get the inspiration to and have the time to.

I would like to say artist too but I don't have many drawings of Sean/Jack or the Egos. I do have some, but not a lot. I don't have the means to draw on digital anymore so that's why I haven't drawn anymore on that. And... heh, I'm not very confident in my artistic skills, so I just mostly stick with theorizing and writing.

What else do you enjoy?

Oh, like likes? Books for sure, the Dark Series, The School of Good and Evil, Spelled... mostly adventure type of books. God games for sure, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Monster Hunter, Jak and Daxter, Tales of series, etc.

Are you open to nice messages and new friends?

Very much open for them! That's why I love this community! All the kindness and warmth everyone has to each other and Sean in return with what he does. All the theories we all throw and work together to solve the riddles he leaves in videos. All the fanfics I can read which are cool, the amazing artwork... and just... everyone geeking out over the Egos!

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippet Monday Week 2: Blackmail au

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(Last time, Sig was preparing to go back to Haven with Jak to retrieve Mar and deal with Krew)

It wasn't hard to give Kleiver the slip once they were out of the air train. Sure, they'd probably be paying for it later, judging by the irate yell behind them, but Damas would understand. And if he didn't, Sig would. Jak needed to be seen running -- apparently for his life -- from Wastelanders. Nobody could know that what was about to happen was premeditated. 

"Down!" Daxter hollered from Jak's back, and he dropped into a slide under two bewildered men carrying a crate.

"You little devil-!" Kleiver bellowed, puffing for air, "ohhh you're gonna regret it when I catch up to you!"

"You mean if you catch up to us," Daxter taunted.

"Giddyup, Jak! We're free!"

He cackled like a madman, shaking Jak's scarf like reins.

"Don't overdo it, Dax."

Jak caught a passing driver by the ankle and yanked them down.

"Sorry, man. Need to borrow this."

It was second nature to zip between traffic lanes, under bridges and scant inches above pedestrians' heads. For having had to learn to drive by trial and error, Jak was pretty good at not hurting anyone but himself in his more reckless moments. There was a reason KG Patrol Cars 9, 13, and 4 would actively refuse to initiate high speed chases if they spotted him. Unlike most of their fellow attack dogs, some of Praxis's men actually had senses of self-preservation. 

"Slow down, Jak, we're losing him!" Daxter urged.

They couldn't "accidentally" lead Spargus to the Underground's door if they actually outran their pursuers.

Daxter shaded his eyes and squinted, looking for Kleiver.  He squeaked and turned to thump Jak’s shoulders.

"Speed up, Jak!"

"Speed up, slow down- pick one!" Jak grumbled. 

"Speed up! He brought friends!" Daxter pointed behind him as if Jak could actually look. "It's the grabby lady in yellow!"

Jak ditched the zoomer at the mouth of the alley and ran, silently praying that Mar would actually be in the hideout and not one of the safehouses Kor preferred. If Mar wasn't there, this whole impulsive plan was for nothing, and the Wastelanders would probably lock him in the hold to keep him from making a second attempt.

Please, please, please-

Jak burst through the door, disheveled and out of breath. Come on, come on-

A small, innocent face peeked out from underneath one of the bunks, and Jak almost collapsed in relief.

"Jak! About time you showed up!" 

The bizarrely young Samos barely looked up from the map he was studying.

"Tess said something about you running off with Wastelanders! Dragged Torn out to go look for you and everything. You better have a heck of a good reason for that, or else we're never going to hear the end of it once he gets back."

"No time," Jak said brusquely. "I gotta get the kid out of here. It's not safe."

Samos stopped and actually looked up this time. "Not safe? Is it KG? Have they found us?!"

Daxter dropped from Jak's back and rolled his eyes. "The resistance symbol is on the door, genius! How long do you think you people have before someone actually looks at the door? We're not taking any chances!"

Samos relaxed. "Oh, that. Yeah that's why I'm only here when I have to be. But eh-" he shrugged. "If you want to get the kid and that blasted crocadog out of my hair for the day, you won't hear me complain!"

Jak stared at him for a moment, then curled his lip. "Boy," he said in a low voice, "You're really something."

Then he turned his back and knelt to hold his arms out to Mar.

"Mar, c'mere. It's okay, s'okay, we're gonna be okay, but you have to come with me. Alright? I promise, it's okay."

The little boy frowned. Then he patted the puppy's side and crawled out to meet Jak. Immediately the teenager scooped him into his arms and held him tight against his chest.

"I got you, I got you." 

He was okay.

"Did you see him?"

"He went this way!"

"Check every door. The ankle-biter can't have got far!"

Jak froze. "Rot. They found me. Samos, are there any other exits?"

Now noticeably nervous, the resistance leader looked around. "Er...no, no I don't think- who's out there?!"

"Wastelanders," Jak answered shortly. "I gave em the slip on the waterfront and I don't think they're real happy about that."

Samos scowled. "What'd you go and piss off a bunch of Wastelanders for?! We can't risk that much attention when we're this close to finding the Tomb!"

He started to reach for Mar.

"Gimme the kid. We'll hide in here while you deal with your mess!"

"Back off!" Jak snarled, pulling away. "I'm sick of you people acting like I'm expendable as long as you have my baby brother as a backup. What's wrong with you?! He's a kid! We're kids!"

"Brother?!" Samos sputtered, "Now look, kid, I know you're fond of him and all, but he's got a destiny you can't even begin to understa-"

The door slammed open behind them, and Samos turned and looked up to find himself eye to navel with a huge one-eyed man covered in the skulls of dead metalheads.

"Boy," Sig growled, "You are in a heap of trouble."

He reached down to pull Jak to his feet, then froze when a pair of frightened indigo eyes peeped up at him from over Jak’s shoulder.

Jak curled tighter around the toddler, glaring at everyone. "So? I made you work for it," he hissed.

Sig took a step back. "Yeah," he murmured, "...yeah, you did. I'll give you that."

Mar's eyes suddenly widened and he gasped. He pointed at Sig and made a small trilling sound. In response, the crocadog's ears perked up and it barked in curiosity. Sig handed his gun to the woman next to him and crouched.

"Hey, lil man," he whispered to Mar. He inhaled sharply and let the air out slow.

"Do…do you remember me?"

Mar pointed at him again with a worried expression. "Eye?" He signed, "Ba's eye is weird now?"

Faced with the toddler he'd helped raise since his cousin's death during a hunt, Sig choked on conflicted emotions. He wanted to sob over how big Mar had gotten, but all he could do was laugh.

"Yeah, yeah Ba's eye is weird now," he signed back. 

"Ba is mad at big brother?"

"No baby, it's just pretend. He ran off without telling his grownups. Ba was worried," Sig assured him.

"Ohhh. I did that too." 

Mar pulled away from Jak's chest and patted his face. 

"Don't be scared Jakky, Ba's not really mad."

"Omigods." Daxter covered a smirk. If they all made it through this in one piece, he was never going to let Jak live down being reassured by a toddler.

"Up you get." Kleiver stumped past Sig and hauled Jak roughly to his feet by the back of his tunic. "What'd I tell 'im, I said I ain't no babysitter! You're goin' back to the Wastes, little man, and good luck gettin' another chance to run for it. Heh. You'll be lucky if they don't put a baby leash on you for this."

"Hey rot you," Jak snapped. Still, he let himself be manhandled out the door while Samos panicked. Probably cruel, but if Damas was right about there being a leak in their intel, then appearances needed to be kept up. 

Once outside, he jerked his chin to the left. "There's a hatch down there that goes out to Dead Town. See if the air train will make a pickup out there."

The Wastelanders turned to stare at him. He'd stopped fighting. Stopped hissing and snarling like a stray cat. It was like a switch had flipped. Daxter rode the crocadog up beside him like a Flut Flut and smirked. 

"Told ya we knew what we were doing."

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[viking-raider]

Southern Generation - Part VI

Summary: Sy officially moves in with Lily and they go on a road trip to make amends.

Pairing: Austin Syverson/OFC (Lily)

Word Count: 11,965

Warning: PG-13 - Language, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Oral - F Receiving, Drama, Pregnancy Cravings

Inspiration: Syverson is OP

Author's Note: Thanks to the wonderful @wondersofdreaming

Author's Note 2: Make sure to follow and turn on the notifications for my Tag List blog @viking-raider-taglist to stay up to date on this and all my other stories!

“That's the last of them.” Sy smiled, setting the last box of his stuff down.

With Lily pregnant and them making their relationship official, Sy moved all of his stuff from his Austin apartment into the farmhouse with Lily.

“Well, officially.” Lily replied, resting her hands on her hips and looking up at him. “Welcome home.” She smiled, giddy and proud.

“Thanks, Darling.” He grinned back, cupping her face and kissed her.

Lily smiled, as she woke up from her nap, feeling the warm and heavy weight of Sy's body in bed with her, his head in its customary place, on her chest. She usually woke up from her naps with Sy, whether or not he was with her, when she fell asleep or not. Sighing and moaning softly, she lifted her hand to twist the short, curling ends of his hair between her fingertips.

“Hm.” Sy hummed softly, rubbing his scruffy face against her chest and hugging his arms tighter around her middle, thumb stroking her tummy.

“I'm surprised at you.” Lily whispered, still playing with his hair.

“Why?” Sy moaned back, turning his head to look up at her.

“When I first met you, I half wondered what your hair would look like if you let it grow out.” She explained, running her fingers through it.

“Oh?” He chuckled, smirking at her.

“Yeah.” She blushed at him. “But, I just didn't expect the Bear, Austin Syverson, would have curls.” She grinned at him, twisting the ends of his hair between her fingers, she loved his developing curls.

“My hair hasn't been this long in ten years.” Sy laughed, blushing and biting his lip. “I've been thinking about cutting it again.”

“I will end you, Wyatt.” Lily threatened, touching the tip of her finger to his nose.

“Oh, busting out the middle name and everything.” He smirked, taking a playful snap at the tip of her finger. “Lily?” He whispered, biting the inside of his lip as he stared into her eyes.

“What?” She replied, tilting her head at him.

“Have you thought about going back?” Sy murmured, brow creasing. “Back to Middleburg, to see your grandparents. Jak isn't a threat anymore. I'm sure they would love to see you and I'd bet my life, you want to see them again. Especially now, with the baby on the way.”

Lily pressed her lips together, resting her hands on Sy's shoulders. “It would be nice to see them again.” She answered, after a long pause.

“But?” He pressed, sensing it coming next.

“What if they don't want to see me?” She asked, searching his eyes for comfort, and found it. “What if they don't want me in their life anymore?”

Sy took a deep breath, sitting up as he did, and brought Lily up with him. “Then, that's their loss.” He told her, folding her up in his arms and pressing his lips to her forehead. “If they don't want you in their life, then they are missing out on knowing one of the most amazing gals, who can light up a room, simply by walking into it.”

“You're just buttering me up, Austin.” Lily mumbled into his neck.

“Woman, have I ever lied to you?” Sy grinned into her hair.

“No.” She chuckled, blushing shyly.

“I don't intend to now, Angel.” He whispered, kissing her temple. “But, you won't know their reaction, unless you go and see them.” He added, softer.

“I know.” She whispered back, leaning against his chest. “You're right. I owe it to them and myself.”

“Whatever choice you make, I'll support you, every step of the way.” Sy told her, gently tipping her head back and tenderly kissed her.

“I think I want to go see them.” Lily said, later that night, while she and Sy sat at the dinner table.

Sy looked up from his plate of spaghetti and garlic bread, slowly lowering his fork. “All right.” He nodded, straightening his back and giving her his full attention. “When do you wanna go?”

“The sooner, the better, I think.” She mumbled, shifting in her seat, her own dinner mostly untouched.

Sy nodded his head again, quietly regarding Lily from across the table. He could see the worried and fearful anxiety on her face, still mulling over every worst case scenario about seeing her grandparents again, he could almost see every one of them tick by her eyes. Afraid that her grandparents would disown her, the moment they laid eyes on her. Blaming her for what transpired with Jak. Afraid of what their reaction would be, when she showed up at their door, after five years of silence, pregnant with the baby of man they had never heard of or met before, especially since they were incredibly religious.

He reached across the table, just in time to catch the tear that escaped and started to slip down her cheek, then rested his hand over hers. “No matter what happens, Lily. You still have me.” He told her, lovingly.

“You still have us.”

Lily grasped Sy's hand and tried to smile at him and not cry at the same time, which was hard with the way her hormones were starting to really get out of control. “I know.” She choked back.

“Let me finish painting the rest of the house and go to your twelve week baby appointment on Friday, then we'll pack a bag and ourselves into the car and drive out there.” He told her, making a game plan, so her frazzled and tired mind could relax.

“It's only a twenty-ish hour drive.”

“I think, that's a good idea.” Lily nodded, chewing on her lip, taking deep breaths.

Sy smiled and squeezed her hand. “Good.” He chuckled and let her hand go, before picking his fork back up and dug into his spaghetti.

Sy double checked his large, Army issued duffel bag, making sure he and Lily had enough clothing, he had her zofran, nausea medicine, and prenatal vitamin, along with everything else he, Lily and Aika would need for the almost nineteen hour drive from Celina to Middleburg, Virginia, having already put her pregnancy pillow in the car, before tugging the bag closed, slung it over his shoulder and went downstairs.

“Billie promised to keep an eye on the place and pick up the mail for us.” Lily said, meeting him in the entryway hall.

“Great.” He smiled. “Well, I got all our stuff packed.” He said, jostling the duffel bag.

“I already packed some snacks in the truck too.”

“Then, we're all set!”

“No, I have to pee, one more time.” Lily giggled, and rushed into the half bath.

Sy laughed, shaking his head and took the duffel bag out to the truck, dropping it in the back seat with Aika. “All set?” He asked as Lily came out of the house.

“I am now!” She nodded, crossing the yard to the truck and got into the passenger seat.

“Did you lock up?” He asked, getting in with her.

“Yep.”

“You good, Aika?” Sy asked, looking to the German Shepherd, who let out a loud bark. “All right, let's get this road trip underway!” He pulled up Google Maps on his phone and entered the address to Lily's grandparents' place, then set the device on its dock and started the truck.

Sy and Lily laughed, as they sang along to a song that came on Sy's playlist that they both liked, Enemies by Shinedown. But, Sy turned the song down, when Lily suddenly stopped singing and quickly identified the look she got just before she threw up. Quickly popping open the center console, Sy reached inside of it and pulled out a circular, blue and white object and opened it, holding it out to her. Lily took it from him, without question and threw up in it, once or twice.

“Where did you get this?” She asked, looking at it, realizing it was a hospital-grade nausea bag. “Did you rob a hospital?” She chuckled, looking over at him.

“No.” He laughed back at her. “I bought them off Amazon. I wasn't sure if you got car sick on long rides or not. But, I was sure the baby would make you nauseous, at least, once on the drive. So, I wanted to be prepared and make you as comfortable as possible in the process.”

Lily tied the used bag closed, then opened the center console and found another twenty-plus of the blue emesis bags inside. She smiled up at him, shaking her head in disbelief of his utter and complete thoughtful and preparedness.

“You never cease to amaze me, Austin.” She said, sitting back up. “You see how amazing your Daddy is.” Lily grinned, looking at her belly, and making Sy blush.

“Well, I gotta take care of ya, don't I?” He smirked, resting his hand on her thigh.

“Yeah, I suppose.” She sighed, smirking back at him.

“There's some Listerine strips in the center console, by the way.” Sy added, after a few quiet moments.

“I'm sorry, am I offending you?” Lily giggled, opening the console again and fished around for them, before finding the small blue case.

“No, no.” He grinned, chuckling. “Just figured you'd want to get the taste out of your mouth.” He explained, finally getting them on the interstate highway.

“Did you pack my nausea meds?” Lily asked, feeling another wave wash over her.

“Yeah. It's in our bag.” Sy nodded, brow creasing, as he tried to figure out what stupid shenanigans the car in front of them was up too.

Lily twisted in her seat and pulled the worn green bag between the front seats, tugging it open and riffled through it, until she found the little prescription bottle of tiny, white oval tablets, then turned back around. She removed one of the pills and cracked open one of the two bottles of Voss water in the cup holders and downed the pill.

“Why don't you rest?” Sy suggested, reaching behind her seat for her pregnancy pillow. “It's just going to be annoying highway stuff for a while.” He said, giving her the pillow.

“I don't want you to get lonely.” Lily protested, maneuvering and situating the U-shaped pillow into a comfortable position.

Sy smiled over at her. “I'll be fine, Angel.” He assured her. “If I get lonely, I'll talk to Aika and we'll play the quiet game.” He chuckled, looking at the dog from the rear view mirror. “I'll wake you up around one, and we'll find some little place to have lunch.”

“If you're sure.” Lily yawned, she was usually already in the middle of a nap by now.

“Positive, Sweetness.” He nodded, turning the heat on a bit to make sure she was kept warm.

Lily contorted her body in her seat, drawing up her legs and propping her head and the curve of her pillow against the window, wrapping her arms around it and hugging it against her body, before dozing off to sleep. Sy reached out and rested his hand on her leg, gently massaging it as he kept his eyes on the road, just listening to the hum of the tires on the worn asphalt of Interstate Forty fill the silent cabin of the truck; Aika curled up on the backseat. The quiet boredom of the road allowed the devil to whisper into Sy's ear.

He wasn't sure what to do, if Lily's grandparents, the people that raised her, rejected her, and not only her, but their great grand-baby, his child. He knew he had to be strong for Lily, it would crush her, if they wanted nothing to do with her and the baby, but Sy wasn't so sure he would be able to keep himself under control. He had a feeling he would end up giving the couple a very big piece of his mind, before bringing Lily back home to Celina.

“It'll be fine.” He said aloud, glancing over at Lily. “It'll be all right.” He assured her sleeping form, leaning over just enough to lay his hand on her belly.

Sy found a turn off into Memphis just before one in the afternoon, parking at a small riverfront park in downtown Memphis, giving Lily a quiet place to wake up and all three of them a place to stretch their legs, and Aika a place to pee.

“Hey.” Sy called, softly, shutting off the car and leaning across the console. “Lily. Wake up, baby.” He cooed at her, brushing his knuckles against her cheek and tucking her hair behind her ear, kissing the corner of her mouth. “Hey, sweet pea.” He grinned, watching her eyes slowly flutter open, blinking at the bright sunlight glittering off the murky river water.

“Where are we?” She asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing her cheek against the microfiber cover of her pillow.

“The home of the King, Memphis Tennessee.” Sy chuckled, teasingly, and kissed her again. “So, love me tender.”

“I'm all shook up.” Lily chuckled, unfolding herself and sitting up in her seat.

“Well, it's now or never, baby doll.” Sy roared, his head going back.

“Oh, don't be cruel.”

“But, I can't help fallin' in love.” He chimed back.

“What now, my love?” Lily asked, smirking at him.

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Sy commented, finding more and more of them every day. “But, I thought we'd get some fresh air and stretch our legs, I'm sure Aika has to pee. Then, we'll find some lunch.”

“I like that idea.” Lily nodded, pushing her pillow into the back seat, then climbed out of the truck, taking the used nausea bag with her to throw away, while Sy put Aika on her leash.

Sy took Lily by the hand and strolled down the little sidewalk along the riverside, watching the various types of boats go by them on the water. The weather was nice and warm with pleasant enough humidity, a few clouds floating in the baby blue sky.

“Are you craving anything specific?” Sy asked as they patiently waited for Aika to do her business in the grass beside them.

“Hmm.” Lily hummed, pressing her lips together and considering if there was something specific she wanted for lunch; she hadn't had any definitive cravings yet, other than the three days she really needed to eat Mac and Cheese.

But, something specific did strike Lily.

“A pretzel.” She purred, already licking her lips at the thought of the salty baked good.

Sy chuckled at her, amused at the expression on her face, eyes closed and dreamy. “All right. I'll get you a pretzel then.”

It was like a ding went off in Lily's soul. “I want a lot of Pretzels.” She said, eyes popping open and looked up Sy, almost manic and desperate.

“Okay.” He replied, brows raised and blinking at her. “I'll get you a pretzel for lunch, then some to munch on.”

“Yeah.” Lily nodded, staring down at their feet, eyes wide. “Pretzels are good.”

“That they are.” Sy agreed, snickering, unable to keep back his amusement.

Lily's eyes snapped up at him, watching him laugh at her, his eyes practically teasing and making fun of her. “Shut up.” She snapped, but started to laugh back at him. “I can't help it.”

“I know you can't.” He nodded, trying to stop, but it only made him laugh harder. “That's what makes it even better.”

“I hate you.” Lily giggled, playful punching him in the arm. “Now, I want my pretzel, Captain.”

“Yes, Major!” Sy replied, saluting her, then quickly cleaned up after Aika and took them back to the truck. “I just need to find a place to get you one.” He sighed, taking his phone off its dock and googled where to get a pretzel in Memphis, Tennessee.

“Okay, there's an Auntie Anne's not that far from us that does pretzels.” He said, saving the directions and setting them in that direction.

Leaving Aika in the car, Lily and Sy went into the shopping center the Auntie Anne's was in, navigating the crowd and line to the counter. Lily chewed on her lip for a moment, torn between getting a regular pretzel or the pretzel bites, before finally deciding on the bites with the nacho cheese dip. With her food, they navigated their way around again and Sy got himself something from the Wendy's the center had as well, before going back out to the truck to eat there; Lily stealing a couple of Sy's french fries and sharing a couple of her pretzel bites.

Once their lunch was finished and they tossed their empty containers away, Sy made a quick run into the Mega Wal-Mart across the street from the shopping center to buy a big bag of mini pretzels and a case of Voss water for Lily, knowing she was going to get very thirsting from devouring them.

“Thank you.” Lily said, when Sy gave her the bag as he got in the car, her eyes glued on the bag.

“Just don't turn into one.” He teased her, chuckling. “All right, let's get back on the road.”

“I don't want you driving all night, Austin.” Lily mumbled around a mouthful of pretzel.

“I know and I won't.” He replied, reaching a hand into the bag. “I'll go until sun down, then we'll find a place to sleep for the night.” He said, then crammed the four or five pretzels into his mouth.

“Good.” Lily smiled, passing back a pretzel to Aika, who quickly devoured it and came back for more.

Reaching Blacksburg, Virginia just after dark, Sy found a drive-thru to order them dinner and a motel for the night, parking out front of the motel's office. Sighing, he rested back in the driver's seat, scrubbing his palms over his tired face and lulled his head to the side to look over at Lily, who had fallen asleep again, twisted around her pillow and her half eaten bag of pretzels clutched to her chest. They were three hours away from her grandparents' orchard, three hours from finding out whether or not they would be in Lily and the baby's life.

“Watch her, girl.” Sy said to Aika, before slipping out of the truck, locking the doors for extra measure, and going inside the office to get a room.

Once he had the room, Sy got back into the truck and parked as close to the room as he could, before going around and opening Lily's door, careful not to let her slip out. Then, gently took the pretzel bag from her and set it aside, unbuckled her seat belt and tried to figure out for a moment how to untangle the mess of limbs and pregnancy pillow, but quickly gave up with an amused chuckle. He just picked up both her and the pillow to carry her into their room and laid her down on the bed, tugging the turned down blankets over her, then went out to get their bag, dinner and Aika.

“Hey, Angel.” Sy smiled, closing the room door with his foot as Lily sat up, rubbing at her face and pushing her hair out of her face. “I got us some food.” He said, holding up the bag.

“You hungry?”

Lily nodded, still sleepy. “Where are we now?” She asked, sitting cross legged on the bed, beside Sy as they ate their food.

“Blacksburg.” He replied, shoving fries in his mouth. “About three hours away from your grandparents' place.”

Lily bit her lip and nodded her head, staring at the half eaten, plain chicken sandwich in her hand, suddenly losing her appetite and set it down. “I'm gonna take a shower, I'm sore.” She mumbled, getting off the bed and headed into the tiny bathroom.

Turning on the light and closing the door, Lily let out a heavy breath and tugged her tank top off over her head, followed by her elephant patterned leggings and underwear, before turning towards the shower, the walls were dingy and discolored, but clean. Spinning the hot and cold taps, then stepping under the shoddy shower-head, she leaned her forehead against the cracked acrylic wall, letting the pleasantly warm water cascade down her back, like a waterfall, with a soft moan. She was starting to have second thoughts about going to see her grandparents. She wondered how upset or disappointed Sy would be, if she told him she wanted to go back home to Celina in the morning, instead of going the three hours to Middleburg to see them.

She wondered how disappointed in herself she would be later on, if she chickened out this close to their destination.

The bathroom door opened and closed, followed by the rustle of clothing, before Sy stepped into the shower behind Lily, resting one hand on her hip and brought the other one around to cup the gentle slope of Lily's belly, pressing his lips to the base of her neck. Gulping down a thicket of emotions in her throat, Lily turned in Sy's arms and pressed herself against his chest, nuzzling her face into his neck. He smiled against her wet hair, gently kneading her hips and lower back, knowing after so many hours in the car and the way she contorted her body to sleep, she must have been in pain.

“Let me take care of you.” He whispered, kissing her forehead.

Sy picked up the little bottle of travel sized, hotel shampoo, broke the seal on it and poured it into his broad palm, then gently massaged it into her hair, stealthily wiping away a line of soap that dripped down her forehead and almost in her eye. Lily closed her eyes, softly moaning at the gentle and pleasurable pressure of Sy's strong and blunt fingers working the scentless shampoo into her scalp, his thumbs moving out to methodically rub her temples, easing the edge off of the tension migraine she had all day. Sy tipped her head back into the spray of the shower, combing his fingers through her wet and soapy strands to rinse out the shampoo. With her hair washed, he found a small wash cloth and bar of soap, and started to wash her body, beginning with her shoulders and applying a little bit of pressure as he did to massage the cramped muscles there.

“God, that feels so good.” Lily sighed, melting under his tender affection, a smile twitching on her face as he rubbed the cloth over the ticklish spots of her sides.

Sy smiled, kissing the bridge of her nose. “Anything for you, Angel.” He cooed back, paying special attention to the beautifully growing bulge of her belly.

“Thank you.” She whispered, relaxed and sleepy, after they got out of the shower, letting Sy dry her off and secure the towel around her body.

“You're welcome, Sweetheart.” He replied, kissing her cheek.

Lily went back into the room and opened their duffel bag, just pulling out the first article of clothing that her hand came in contact with, which was Sy's worn, Jack Daniels, Tennessee Whiskey t-shirt and let the towel slip off her and pulled on his shirt. Sy stood in the bathroom doorway, still naked and dripping from the shower and smiled at her, loving how the black garment hung on her like a dress, her shoulder length hair dripping and making it wet as she brushed it.

He had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life.

Moving over to the full sized bed, Sy situated her pregnancy pillow, then turned towards Lily. “Lay down, Angel.” He cooed at her.

Frowning at him for a moment, but seeing the look in his blue eyes, Lily chuckled and laid down, situating herself with her head and neck propped up on the belly of the pillow and her body comfortably cradled in the middle of it. Sy picked up her discarded towel and used it to dry off some, before turning off the room lights, then crawled into bed with her. Moving between Lily's legs and gently bending up her knees and pushing them apart, Lily's startled gasp filled the dark room as Sy's warm breath wafted over her exposed folds, just before his wide tongue took one long and leisurely lick.

“Jesus H. Christ!” She cried out, gripping the arms of her pillow.

“Just me, Angel.” Sy chuckled, hooking his arms around her legs, so they rested on his shoulders, and pressed his palms down on top of her thighs, to keep her still, before dipping his head back down and pressing an open kiss to her clit, flicking the tip of his tongue against it, melting Lily into a sweet and needy whimper.

Sy licked and suckled at her delicate pussy, slipping his tongue between her folds to tease her entrance and get a deeper taste of her, lewd noises filled the room as neither of them hid the pleasure they were in and having. Lily rocked against his mouth, her hands pressed to the back of Sy's head to hold him in place, eyes rolled and fluttered, her anxiety of not wanting to go to her grandparents' in the morning completely forgotten in the heady peak of her orgasm.

“I love your mouth.” Lily sighed, out of breath, exhausted and pleasantly numb.

Sy roared with laughter, laying down beside her. “Good to know.” He grinned, pulling the blankets over them and draping his arm over her. “Good night, Angel.” He whispered, kissing her cheek.

“Night, Bear.” She mumbled back, starting to drift off.

Sy stayed awake for a little while, his hand slipping up inside the shirt she was wearing to gently caress her belly and stared at the back of her head. “God,” He whispered, careful not to wake or disturb her. “I don't ask much of you. But, for whatever my word is worth, please don't let these people hurt my girl. She needs and wants them in her life, so does our little one.” He said, lifting his hand to gently stroke her damp hair.

“Let this meeting tomorrow go well, for all of us.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and hugging Lily back against him.

Lily took a deep breath and held it, as Sy turned the truck off the main road and onto the dirt road leading onto the Warren Orchard farm, seeing the tall apple tree shaped sign with Warren Apples carved elegantly in its trunk. It wasn't long before they came to the closed security gate, shutting them off from the rest of the farm. Sy rolled the truck to a stop and looked over to Lily, lifting a brow at her, waiting for her to tell him what they should do next, when a voice came to life next to him.

“Welcome to Warren Apple Orchards, what can I do for you?” A deep Southern drawl asked from a mounted intercom box outside the driver's side window.

Sy rolled down his window and leaned closer to the box, spotting the security camera mounted above the one side of the gate. “Yeah, we're here looking for the owners of the place.” He replied, glancing over at Lily again.

“Mr. and Mrs. Warren aren't taking visitors just now.”

Lily huffed through her nose and leaned over the center console and Sy. “Tell them, Liliana wants to see them, Judd.” She called out, biting and pressing her lips together.

There was a long pause with a bubble of tension, before an electric buzz filled the humid air around them and the metal gate rolled out of their way. Lily sat back in her seat and Sy gave her a concerned look, before driving though.

“You know him?”

“He's worked here as long as I can remember.” Lily replied, staring out her window to the immaculate lawn and row of trees beyond that. “Just keep following the road, you'll find the house at the end of it.” She added, picking at the hem of the shorts she was wearing.

True enough, a few minutes later, a massive colonial, plantation house appeared behind ancient weeping willows. Made mostly of white stone with two stories of wrap around porches and ornate black railings, tall marble columns, from the foundation to the roof; what looked like five chimneys, three turrets and an apple tree weathervane. The driveway looped around the front of the house, leading up the stairs onto the porch was double french, front doors.

Sy was in complete awe of it as he pulled around to the front of the driveway. “This place is amazing.”

“Yeah.” Lily gulped, biting her lip and stared up at the house. “Oh dear god.” She whimpered, shrinking her seat, trying to hide.

“What?” Sy frowned, then noticed a whited haired man step out of the house, wearing a pair of light brown khaki pants and a black pull over sweater with the Warren Orchard's logo on it, an apple with an arrow threw it, the front of the arrow's shaft bent in the shape of a W.

“I'm guess, that's--”

“My grandfather.” Lily nodded, peeking over the edge of the door to look up at him. “Yep.” She sighed, squeezing her eyes shut and pressed her forehead to the window.

“Well, you can't hide forever, Angel.” Sy told her, tilting his head at her. “He knows we're here and this is more than likely us, sitting here.”

“I know.” Lily huffed, chewing her lip. “I know.”

“You can do this, babe.” He encouraged her. “I'm right here, Angel.”

Lily looked over at him, looking at him like a lost puppy, before taking a deep breath and fortifying herself. “You're right.” She nodded, leaning over and kissed him.

Taking another deep breath, Lily opened her door and stepped out of the truck, gulping as she looked up the steps to her grandfather. Her heart felt like a war drum in her chest, she was excited to see him again, he didn't seem any different from the last time he had seen him, at least, not from the distance they were at.

But, she was also afraid of what was about to happen next.

“Paw-Paw.” She called out to him, softly, her voice shaky.

“Liliana.” He replied, lifting a snowy brow at her, his honey-brown eyes scrutinizing her.

“I've missed you.” Lily blurted out, sniffling, tears burning her eyes. “I'm sorry I disappeared. I'm sorry I just ran away and I didn't tell either of you where I was going or why. That I stayed away for so long without a word.”

“But, I thought about you all the time.”

He stared hard at her, crossing his arms over his chest. “You scared the daylights out of your grandmother and I, Liliana. We tried looking for you everywhere, but you just vanished into thin air, like you never existed.” He told her, his anger slowly showing on his face.

“We thought you were dead.”

Lily bowed her head, ashamed for what she had put her grandparents through. “I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention, Paw-Paw.” She choked, looking back up at him, breathing hard.

“Then, what was your intention, Liliana?” He barked at her, his eyes glowing with rage. “Who are you?” He hissed, as Sy came around the front of the truck to wrap an arm around Lily's waist, to comfort her.

Sy looked up at him for a moment, his eyes hard at the man. “Austin Syverson.” He replied, hugging Lily against his side and rubbing her back.

“Your relation to my granddaughter is what?”

“I'm her boyfriend.” He replied, narrowing his eyes at the other man. “Look, she's come here, because she misses you both, very much, and has regretted the way she left. But, she had to leave, she had a very valid reason in doing so. In reality, she's an adult, more than capable of making her own choices and doesn't have to answer to anyone as to why she's made them.” He told Lily's grandfather.

“That includes you.”

“But, she's gained the strength to come here to try and make amends with you both, for more than one reason. You can either accept that or you can not. What happens now, is up to you.”

“Davy, who is it?”

A voice called from the double doors behind Lily's grandfather, before it opened to a thin, elderly woman with a short, curly pixie cut, who struggled to wheel herself out of the house and onto the porch. Her dim and pale blue eyes almost instantly found Lily at the bottom of the porch stairs, her hands flew to the front of her flower pattern dress, mouth dropping open.

“Liliana!” She exclaimed, reaching out a hand to her husband.

“Mee-maw.” Lily sniffled back, smiling at her grandmother through her tears.

“Thank the Lord, you're all right, my sweet child.” She cried, pressing a hand to her mouth.

“I am.” Lily nodded, wiping at her eyes. “And, I wanna be part of your lives again. I want to make amends for what I did by running away and disappearing. I'm sorry, I hurt you and Paw-Paw.”

Lily's grandmother looked up at her husband, who was still glaring at Lily and Sy, pressed her lips together, then looked back at them. “Come inside.” She said, letting his hand go and turned her wheelchair around and headed back towards the door.

“Davy.” She called over her shoulder.

Sighing, he turned and pulled the door open for her, eyeing Lily and Sy as they mounted the porch stairs, then followed his wife inside the house, before doing the same. She rolled down the hallway and turned into the private study, motioning to the long leather couch and parked herself in front of it.

“Hello.” She said, looking at Sy as he sat down beside Lily on the couch.

“Ma'am.” He replied, politely nodding his head to her.

“Who might you be?”

“Austin Syverson, Ma'am.” Sy answered with a sweet smile. “I'm your granddaughter's boyfriend.”

“Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Syverson.” She replied, regarding him. “I'm Violet Warren, and this is my husband, Davis.” She said, motioning to him as he took a seat in a chair to Lily and Sy's left.

“Sir.” Sy said, nodding his head stiffly to him.

“You're looking well, Liliana.” Violet commented, turning her attention to her granddaughter.

“Thank you.” Lily whispered, licking her lips. “I just go by Lily now.”

Violet nodded her head. “Very well.” She acknowledged. “Where've you been, Lily?”

Lily drew a deep breath through her nose and slowly let it back out. “It's a long story.” She whimpered, gripping Sy's hand for support, chewing the inside of her cheek to bits.

Davis and Violet glanced at each other, before she leaned forward and took a small hand bell off the coffee table between them and rang it. A moment later, a young lady appeared in the doorway of the room and Violet asked her to serve them some tea. The tension was tight and thick in the room while the tea was being made for them, no one saying a word to each other. The servant returned, carrying in a highly polished tea tray and set it down on the coffee table, setting out teacups for the four of them and filled the cups, before leaving the room again.

“What is your story, Lily?”

Carefully drizzling a bit of honey into her tea with a honey dipper and taking a fortifying sip of it, Lily started her story. “You know that I had been seeing Jak.” She said, looking between her grandparents.

“We did.” Violet nodded, taking a sip of her own tea.

“Well, what you didn't know was Jak had been abusive to me.” She continued, staring into the rich and steamy liquid in the expensive china teacup. “He had been the entire time we were together. But, I was too naive and silly to break it off with him for the longest time. But, after a particularly bad incident, I decided I couldn't take it any longer. So, I packed a bag and went to live with Maggie. I didn't tell you-” She paused, brow creased, she had often thought about why she hadn't told them, but had never really pinned down a specific reason to why she hadn't.

But, she shook that thought off.

“I honestly don't know why I hadn't. All I knew was I was terrified of Jak finding me again and dragging me back into the life and situation I had been living in for so long with him. While I was with Maggie, I changed my name from Liliana Jade Warren to Lily Ana Moore, to make it harder for him to find me, which made it hard for the both of you to find me, and finished university.” She continued on. “After I did that, I moved to a very small town in Texas and started my own company for my Graphic Design and Photography.”

“It's how I've been supporting myself.”

“I was so consumed by my paranoia and fear of Jak finding me, that I never left the house I bought in Texas, five years ago, this is the farthest I've been from it, since I've moved there.” She confessed, looking to Sy, who smiled at her, supportive and proud.

“What's changed?” Her grandfather asked, his own teacup still where the servant set it, ignored and cold. “Why are you here now?”

Lily cleared her throat and set her tea aside. “I left and became reclusive, agoraphobic, because I felt unsafe and afraid. That Jak would end up finding me and hurting me. He did end up finding me, but Austin...” She looked to Sy, her eyes filled with appreciative love and pride. “Austin makes me feel safe again. He's protected me, in more than one way, and he's shown me what real love is. I owe him so much.”

Sy grinned brightly at her, gripping her hand, a bit choked up at her words.

“He's helped me get back to this place, a place I've held onto, wanting to be a productive member of society, to be back in your life and be your granddaughter again. I miss you and I love you both. That never changed and it will never change.”

“That never changed for us either, Lily.” Violet replied, resting her teacup back on its saucer. “You will always be our precious granddaughter and we have always loved you; from the moment you were born to this moment right now.”

“I hope you could find it in your heart, to have a little more love.” Lily whispered, biting the inside of her lip, gulping.

“For what?” Violet frowned, brows drawing together and head tilting at her.

Lily looked to Sy, who nodded his head at her. “Sy and I are expecting.” She mumbled, not meeting either of her grandparents' eyes.

“You're with child?” Violet asked, shocked disbelief in her voice.

“I am.” Lily nodded, whimpering.

“I hope you're not here, thinking this little reunion will get you money.” Her grandfather snapped, coldly.

Lily's eyes snapped over to him, a cold knot of shock, hurt and anger in her stomach, she could feel the tension stiffen Sy's body. “We don't need any of the family money.” She hissed, eyes hardening. “My business alone is quite well off, thank you; and I'm more than offended at the accusation.”

“That's putting it politely.” Sy chimed in, staring daggers into the old man.

“Davis.” Violet barked, offended at her husband's insult as well, she had no feeling that Lily and Sy were there looking for money or assistance with their lives or the baby.

“Excuse me, for the last time I recalled a couple sitting on that very same couch to tell us they were expecting a child, it was our sweet Daisy and that good for nothing, Palmer, and we all saw how that ended.” Davis replied, his voice cold and sharp.

“Austin isn't my father.” Lily barked, her voice mirroring her grandfather's.

Lily and her grandfather glared darkly at each other, before Violet grew annoyed with their childish behavior and clapped her bony hands together, catching the room's attention.

“That is quite enough.” She scolded them.

Sy hid his smirk around the rim of his teacup, already liking Lily's grandmother.

“How far along are you?” Violet asked, looking at Lily.

“Almost thirteen weeks.” She replied, unconsciously touching her belly.

“Do you know what you're having?”

“Not yet.” Lily grinned at Sy, giddy at the thought of finding out the gender of the baby, she didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, she was just excited in general. “We won't know for another five weeks.” She added, glancing over at her grandmother.

“Well,” Violet grinned, her eyes lighting up. “I can't wait to meet my great-grandbaby.” She said, sounding overjoyed at the prospect. “Davy?” She looked to her husband, her eyes still filled with excitement, but outlined with warning.

Davis looked at her for a moment, then over at Lily, before looking down at the watch on his right wrist, then stood. “I have to meet Mac in the south orchard.” He said, tonelessly, and left the room.

Lily let out an uneven breath and painful tears punched her in the chest, turning her face into Sy's collarbone as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and hugged her against his side, pressing his lips to her hair. Violet's mouth was pressed into a thin, angry, lipstick red line as she continued to stare out the study doorway after Davis, the rapturous event of finding out about their great-grandbaby being overshadowed by his stubborn pigheadedness.

“I think we should go.” Sy said to Lily, gently wiping away her tears.

“Please, do stay.” Violet chimed in, turning her attention back to them. “There's more than enough room right here.” She said, looking back and forth between Lily and Sy. “Please, it's been so long, Lily. You've been gone and so far away. Town is twenty minutes away and with you here now, two minutes is too far away.”

Lily looked up at Sy.

“It's up to you, Angel.” He whispered, brushing his thumb against her flushed cheek.

She looked over at her grandmother. “Of course, I would love that.” She whispered, wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

Violet smiled at her, relieved to have her granddaughter under the same roof again. “I'll have Clara set two extra places at the table.” She grinned, overjoyed. “I'll even have her make your favorites for lunch and dinner.”

Lily smiled at her, touched at her grandmother's sentiment. “Thank you.”

“You remember where your room is?” She replied, lifting a brow at her.

“I do.” Lily nodded her head.

“Then, I won't keep you any longer. I'm sure you must be tired with the baby and the long journey from Texas.”

“I am.” She agreed, sighing softly.

“Off you both go then, the bell will ring, when lunch is ready.”

“Thank you, Mee-Maw.” Lily said, nodding her head and stood up, Sy standing with her.

“Ma'am.” Sy nodded his head to Violet, then followed Lily out of the room and down the hall to a flight of stairs. “Well, that didn't go as badly as the two of us thought it would.” He commented, mounting the stairs behind her.

“No, it did not.” Lily replied over her shoulder, going up the three sets of stairs. “I just hope my grandfather comes around.” She added, coming to the second floor and going down to a door at the very end of the hall. “This is...was—my room.” She said, turning the vintage, metal and ceramic door knob that had a hand-painted gold floral design on it, and pushed the door open.

The bedroom was spacious and bright with the mid-morning sun shining in through four windows, between one set of windows sat a squat, five compartment, vintage chest of drawers, across from that was a full sized, poster bed, with the doorway to a bathroom to the left and a walk-in closet to the right. There was a bookcase and table against the wall by the door, mostly filled with church and home school related things.

“It's a nice room.” Sy commented, picking up one of the books on the table, a bible.

“Thanks.” Lily smiled, shyly, seeing that her grandparents had left her room the exact way she'd left it, when she moved out.

“Do you wanna rest for a little while?” He suggested, stepping up behind her and resting his hands on her hips, gently pressing his thumbs into the small of her back and massaging them.

“Yeah.” She moaned, her head dropping back against his chest, turning to kiss the underside of his bearded jaw.

“How about a nice warm bath first, maybe a cup of tea?”

Lily chuckled into his neck, grinning. “So dotting, Captain.” She teased him.

“I love you.” He cooed, kissing her forehead, then moved away from her and went into the bathroom, plugging the drain on the ancient claw-foot tub and turned the X-shaped tap handles.

Lily padded into the bathroom, sitting down on the closed toilet seat and pushed down the stress of her grandfather's behavior towards her, to watch Sy fill the bath for her, a soft smile on her face. She stood up for a moment and reached underneath the sink and removed a small bottle and handed it to him. Sy smiled at her and took it from her, uncapping it and getting the strong snap of eucalyptus and sprinkled the Epsom salt into the delicately warm water, before turning off the tap. He grabbed a towel and folded it, then situated it at one end of the tub, to pillow her head, when she started to soak.

“Now, where is the kitchen?” He asked, looking at her.

“Down the stairs, first door to your right.” Lily replied, getting out of her clothing.

“Cool, I'll be right back.” Sy told her, kissing her temple and stepped out of the room to go downstairs to get her tea.

Lily finished undressing and carefully stepped into the pleasantly warm water, leaning back with a soft and satisfied moan, focusing on the warm water enveloping her body easing away her aches and pains, melting away the anxieties that had accumulated during the drive over from Texas and the visit. While Sy found the kitchen and pushed open the swinging door, finding the cook, Clara, inside, who looked up as she heard him come in and wiped her hands on her apron.

“Can I help you?” She asked, lifting a brow at him.

“Um, just need a cup of tea.” He replied, licking his lips and glancing around the kitchen.

“Oh, of course, right away.”

“I'd hate to put you out.” Sy said, alarmed.

Clara chuckled at him, pulling down a cup from a high cabinet. “It's what the Warren's hired me for.” She assured him. “I'm guessing it's for Lily.” She added, moving about the kitchen as she put the things together to make the tea.

“Yeah.” He nodded, then patiently waited for her to finish and took the cup from her. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” Clara smiled, and returned to what she had been doing.

Sy carefully took the cup back upstairs to Lily, smiling as he stepped into the bathroom and saw her lounging comfortably in the tub. He was glad she could relax and let the stress go, even if it was for a little while. Lily stirred as he sat down beside her, smiling at him and taking the cup of tea from his outstretched hands and let out a pleased moan.

“Feels like a spa day.” She chuckled, handing her teacup back to Sy for him to hold, so she could relax back again.

“You deserve to relax.” Sy replied, softly. “You've got an important job to do.”

“Yeah, I'm growing a Syverson.” Lily chuckled, teasingly.

“Exactly.” He laughed back. “That's no easy feat to bring one of us into the world.”

“Bringing a Syverson into the world is just the start of it, then we have to raise them.”

“Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble.” Sy grinned at her. “Nothing, but trouble.”

“Toil and bubble.” Lily giggled, fully amused and lighthearted.

“Come on, sleepy, out with you.” Sy said, setting her empty teacup on the vanity counter and pulled the towel off the bar and held it open for her.

“Okay.” Lily replied, stifling a yawn with her hand.

Stepping out of the tub and into Sy's arms, she rested her forehead against his chest and let him dry her off. Sy had taken a liking to drying her off after she showered or bathed, since she'd become pregnant, none of which Lily protested to, she was usually very sleepy by the time she got out of them, so having him there to finish up was always nice.

“Oh, fuck.” He barked, after helping back into her clothing. “Your pillow is still in the truck.”

“It won't kill me to have one nap without it.” Lily said, through yet another yawn.

“You were a very cranky mama bear the last time you didn't have that thing to sleep with.” He reminded her. “I'll go down and get it, just sit tight.”

“I'd rather lay tight.” She huffed, starting to get cranky as she shuffled over to her bed and laid down.

Sy rushed back downstairs and nearly collided with Violet. “Oh my god, I am so sorry.” He panted, making sure she was all right. “ Are you okay?”

“I'm fine, where's the fire, Mr. Syverson?”

“Lily's laying down for her nap and I just realized she doesn't have her pregnancy pillow and she always wakes up very cranky, when she doesn't have it to sleep with.” He explained, calming down.

Violet smiled up at Sy, touched and pleased at the plain devotion he had for her granddaughter. “Well, we can't have that, now can we?” She chuckled, rolling back out of his way.

“No, ma'am.” Sy shook his head at her.

“Violet, Mr. Syverson. Just call me Violet.” She informed him as Sy reached the front door.

He paused, hand on the door and smiled at her, remembering when Lily told him to call her by her given name. “Of course, Ms. Violet.” He nodded at her, politely.

Violet smiled back at him and Sy went out to his truck.

“Hey, girl.” Sy said, opening the passenger door of the truck and only to get attacked by Aika's tongue. “I know, I know. I haven't forgotten about ya. I promise.” He chuckled, petting her. “I'll come back down in a couple minutes and take care of you. But first, I have to take care of your mama.” He said, reaching in the back seat for Lily's U-Shaped pillow, pushed Aika back and closed the door again, before rushing back upstairs.

“Okay, pillow.” Sy said, bursting into the room, only to find Lily curled into a ball and sound asleep, making him chuckling. He situated her pillow and gently unrolled Lily from her ball and slipped her between her pillow, before covering her up.

“Sleep sweet, Angel.” He whispered, kissing her cheek softly, then went back downstairs. “Um, do you know where Ms. Violet is?” He asked the servant that had served him and Lily tea when they had first arrived.

“Yes, she's in the private study, right through there.” She replied, pointing the way.

“Thank you.” He nodded, then went down, gently knocking on the door.

“Enter.”

“Ms. Violet?”

“Ah, Mr. Syverson, I'm trusting the pillow crisis was averted?” She asked, an amused glitter in her eyes.

Sy chuckled. “It was, thank you.”

“Then, what can I help you with?”

“I, uh, brought Lily and I's dog with us...” He said, sheepishly, though Lily's grandmother seemed like a very sweet woman, Sy got the vibe she was the authority in this household and crossing her wasn't the way to go. “She's in my truck and I didn't want to take her out without asking first, so I didn't step on any toes and cause any issues with you and your husband.”

“What kind of dog is she?”

“She's a German Shepherd.” Sy replied, licking his lips. “I found her in the war-zone on my last deployment.” He half explained to her.

Violet blinked several times at Sy. “You were in the military?”

“Yes, ma'am.” He nodded, with a deep sense of pride. “I was a Captain in the U.S Army, Special Forces, for more than ten years.”

“What's the pup's name?”

“Aika.”

“Well, Aika is more than welcome here.” She told him. “As long as she behaves herself.” She added, a soft smile on her face.

“She's a very well behaved dog, you have my word.” Sy replied, smiling back at her.

“Good.” Violet nodded. “Just make sure you keep her out of the orchards or Davis will have a never-ending fit.”

“Will do.”

Excusing himself, Sy went back out to the truck and put Aika on her leash, walking her around the front of the property and away from the orchards, making sure to clean up after her, then brought her inside, taking her upstairs to Lily's room, where she curled up on the bed with Lily, before he decided to do a little exploring himself before lunch.

He wandered into the orchards, seeing the short trunks, but wide crowns, light green and shiny apples weighing down its branches and a couple littered the ground. There easily had to be a hundred trees of the same sort for as far as Sy could see in the area he was in, before he moved on. Sy came to a small dirt lane and crossed it into a totally different portion of the orchard, these trees were still squat and wide, but the apples on their branches were medium sized and mostly two toned, a dull red that faded into a yellow-y green color.

He crossed another dirt road and found another orchard of another kind of apple, this one a light yellow color, when he heard voices and then his name and turned, seeing Lily's grandfather, realizing he had wandered into the south orchard.

“What are you doing out here?” Davis asked, approaching him.

“Just looking around.” Sy replied, keeping his tone guarded. “Lily's told me a lot about the place.”

“And where is she?”

“Back at the house, sleeping.” Sy told him, his shoulders stiff. “She gets tired a lot with the baby.”

“Hm.” Davis huffed and turned on his heels.

“What's your problem?” Sy barked after him, unable to hold his temper any longer. “She just wants her grandfather, the man that raised her, back in her life, in her child's life. Not your money or your business, just your love and affection.”

Davis spun around on his heels to face Sy. “I might have raised her, because my Daisy died, and her father was an unreliable scum, but she's making the same mistake her mother did. I won't be part of that again.”

“I won't be there when it kills her too.” He hissed, then stormed off.

Lily woke up to Sy's angry pacing at the foot of the bed and cursing under his breath, and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. “What's wrong, Bear?” She asked, frowning at him.

“Your grandfather is a pigheaded, son of a bitch.”

Her mouth fell open for a moment, then her brows drew together and her eyes narrowed. “Did the two of you get into an argument?”

“Sorta.” He huffed back.

“For the love of Jesus, Austin.” Lily barked at him, pressing her hands to her face. “Why?”

“I didn't go lookin' for it, Lily.” He retorted, stopping his pacing. “I was just checking out the orchards and ran into him. One thing came to another, I asked him what his problem was, all you want is his love and affection back, not his damned money or his orchard, and his reply was you're making the same mistake your mother made and you'll end up dying because of it too.”

“Which you will fucking not!” He added, a panicked fright breaking through his burst of anger.

“Of course, I'm not going too, Bear.”

Lily sighed, shaking her head and running her hand through her hair, before getting up out of bed. “I'll be more than all right. We have a great doctor and an amazing hospital back home. Plus, I have you to take care of and look after me, the whole time. I'll be perfectly safe and sound.” She told him, hugging her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest.

“Don't listen to him, Sy. He's just a grumpy old man, set in his ways.”

“What's that make me?” He asked, half jokingly.

“My boyfriend and Papa Bear.” She giggled, tilting her head back to look up at him.

“Good to know, Mama Bear.” He teased back, dipping his head to kiss her. “The fuck was that?” He asked as two loud dinging sounds filled the house.

“That is the lunch bell.” Lily replied, pulling away from him. “One ding is breakfast, two is lunch and three is dinner.” She explained to him, finding her shoes and slipping them back on. “Old Virginian hospitality, Syverson. I know you Texans aren't used to it.”

“Oh, you posh and polished Southerners.” He teased back, following her downstairs. “Give me the ringing of a triangle any day and this cowboy will know the way to the dinner table.”

“Remind me to buy one for our house, then.” Lily giggled, showing him into the family dinning room.

“Buy what for your house?” Violet asked, already seated at one end of the table.

“Oh, Sy was making fun of us for being—what did you call it?” She asked, looking at him as he vigorously shook his head at her. “Ah yes, posh and polished Southerners, for having a meal bell.” You grinned at him, impishly. “While, pointing out the Texas Cowboy in him could only find his way home, if he heard the call of a triangle bell.”

“I said, I would be able to find my way to the table. I know my way home, thank you very much.” He spoke up, his cheeks pink underneath the hairs of his beard.

Both Lily and Violet's laughter filled the dining room, but Sy soon joined them. But, the laughter died down as Davis entered the room, taking his place at the other end of the table, practically sucking the air out of the room as he took his seat.

“How is the south orchard doing?” Violet asked, as lunch was being served.

“One of the original York apple trees is starting to fail for some reason.” Davis replied, picking up the salt shaker. “Mac and I were running through a list of things we can do to save it.” He explained, paying closer attention to his food than to the others at the table with him.

“This looks really good.” Sy commented, licking his lips at his plate.

“It's one of Lily's favorites.” Violet smiled at him. “Creamy Shrimp pasta.”

“I used to try and bribe Clara into making it for every meal once for a whole summer.” Lily chuckled, twirling the angel hair pasta around her fork. “Never worked out.”

“Didn't deter you from trying though.” Violet chuckled, smiling fondly at her granddaughter. “I'm more than sure you'll love what Clara is making you for dinner.”

“I have no doubt.” She smiled back.

“Oh, Mr. Syverson, if you'd like a place to park your truck, I'm sure Davis could show you where the garage is.” Violet said, her eyes on her husband.

“Thank you, Ms. Violet.” Sy replied, smiling at her. “And, please, call me Sy or Austin, whichever you might prefer.” He told her, a bit shyly.

“Austin, it is.” Violet answered, giving him a sweet smile. “But, you can do that for him, can't you?” She said, lifting a brow at her husband, with an expression that dared him to object to her request.

Davis stared at his wife, his hard brown eyes holding Violet's stern blues, before his shoulders dropped slightly. “I'll show you after lunch.”

“Thank you.” Sy replied, stiffly.

Lily rested her hand on Sy's thigh, gently squeezing it, trying to keep him calm and relaxed. “How have the orchards been?” Lily asked her grandfather, trying to open any sort of connection with him. “I know picking season is coming up soon in the next few months.” She pointed out, gathering up a forkful of her shrimp pasta.

There was a long silence at the table, each second made Lily's heart clench tighter, fearing her grandfather would just continue to ignore her and pretend she didn't exist. She didn't know how much more of his coldness she could take, before it became too much to bear and she would just want to leave again.

No matter how much it would hurt.

“Other than the York tree showing signs of white rot, the orchards are as productive and fruitful as ever.” He finally spoke.

“What happens if you don't cure the white rot?” Lily frowned, concerned for the tree.

“We lose the tree.” Davis sighed, resting back in his chair and tossing his napkin onto the table beside his plate. “It'll only be the third originally planted tree on the farm we've ever lost. Well, with any luck the rot won't spread and it won't hit us too hard.” He explained, looking at her.

“Just because you lost one, don't mean you'll lose more.” Lily replied, holding his gaze.

Davis dropped his eyes and nodded his head, sighing, then looked up at Sy, noticing his empty plate. “You done?”

“I am.” Sy nodded, wiping his mouth.

“Come on, and I'll show you where the garage is and you can park your truck.” He said, standing up, leaving his half eaten lunch on the table.

“I'll be right back.” Sy whispered to Lily, kissing her cheek and stood, following her grandfather out of the house.

The walk from the house was silent as they stepped off the paved driveway and onto a pea gravel lane that led a little ways away from the house, through a small grove of very ancient looking weeping willows to a large building with several vehicles parked outside of it.

“You can park it here.” Davis said, motioning to the area in front of them.

“Thanks.” Sy nodded to him, then turned back to get his truck.

Bringing his truck around and finding a place to park it, Sy got out and and grabbed their duffel bag out of the back and locked up, heading back up to the house; when Davis stopped in his tracks, noticing the duffel bag slung over his shoulder; the worn military green and the faded, black U.S letters.

“Something the matter?” Sy frowned, turning back to him.

“That's a military bag.” Davis replied.

“Yes, it is.” He nodded, shifting it on his shoulder and tilting his head at the other man.

“It's yours?”

Sy's shoulders slumped and he stared at the old man. “I served more than ten years in the U.S Army as a Captain in the Special Forces.” He explained to him. “I retired almost a year ago.”

“How did you and Lily meet?”

“As I said, I retired almost a year ago and I returned home to Austin, Texas.” Sy replied, sighing. “Even though I could live quite well on my retirement, I don't like not having a job or being idle. So, I went about applying for jobs, mostly jobs I could do with my hands, construction jobs and such. A construction company told me about a contract that they had gotten from a young lady, who needed help fixing her place up in Celina, which is about three hours south of Austin. I called about it and got the job. I'm sure you guessed, it was Lily.” He smirked, chuckling to himself.

“I started fixing the place up for her and we grew close, especially after we helped each other through a few traumatic things.”

“Like, what?”

“I have pretty severe PTSD from my time in deployment and Lily's gotten me through more than one episode.” Sy smirked, blushing slightly and toeing the ground with the tip of his boot. “She's the guiding light to holding them back.” He whispered softly. “As for her, she's been through a lot in the last five years, especially the fear and turmoil caused by Jak.” He said. “There's nothing on this planet, there hasn't been anything on this planet, I wouldn't do to ensure her happiness and safety.”

Sy looked Davis dead in the eyes, a deep seriousness coming over him, even though he had a knot in his stomach. “Listen, your granddaughter isn't a little girl anymore. She's a grown woman, and a beautiful, loving and intelligent one, at that. She's so incredibly caring for the people around her, even when she's been so hurt and her trust in people has been cut deeply. Her work ethic is admirable, she built a company from the reclusion of her own home, that she hadn't left in more than three years, and it is thriving. She's even currently in the process of interviewing people to fill two positions, because she has so many clients, that she's in need of the extra help.”

“You're projecting the fear of your daughter’s mistakes and death on Lily and it isn't fair to her, or to you and your wife.”

“My Daisy Mae's misfortunes aren't the only failures that have me disappointed in the situation.” Davis said, rolling his jaw at Sy.

Sy huffed at him, biting his lip and nodding his head at him. “You think I'd be some, what was it, unreliable scum, like her father?” He asked, lifting a brow at him.

Davis sighed back at him, scrubbing a palm over his wrinkled forehead and lifted a brow at him. “Come with me.” He said, motioning him back towards the house.

Pressing his lips together, Sy followed him back up to the house and into Davis's private study, setting the duffel bag down by the door as Davis closed it behind him. Davis motioned to a leather and mahogany upholstered chair in front of a cold fireplace, then moved over to a small table of bottles and glasses, pouring them both a drink. He handed Sy a glass and took the seat across from him, taking a long sip.

“Smooth stuff.” Sy commented, licking his lips and admiring the rich, amber liquid.

“Maker's Mark, Kentucky bourbon whiskey.” Davis replied, smirking at his glass, appreciatively.

“Anyhow.” He cleared his throat, balancing his glass on the arm of his chair. “Palmer Hughes. He came to work here in the summer of 1985, he was twenty years old and Daisy was eighteen. I knew the boy was trouble the moment I set eyes on him and knew I should have sent him picking.”

“But, for whatever reason, and against my better judgment, I didn't.”

“He took an instant liking to our Daisy, who was ordinarily a good mannered, well behaved and proper girl. But, as soon as he set his eyes on her, he started corrupting her. He would stop coming to work in the fields to sneak himself and her off the property and go into town or wherever it was they would go to. Daisy started to become more defiant and rebellious. One of our church elders even spotted her and Palmer with a group of their lowlife friends in a questionable area of town, getting high, smoking and drinking.”

“It was such an embarrassment.” He sighed, taking a deep gulp of his drink. “When Daisy was twenty-one, she came to her mother and I and told us she was pregnant. Palmer had split the moment he found out about it. But, I tracked his no good ass down and dragged him back. He and Daisy got married just before Lily was born.”

“What happened?” Sy asked, frowning at him, the burn of the alcohol melting through the knot in his stomach as he thought about it. “How did her mother die?”

“She developed a hemorrhage that the doctor's couldn't get under control, so she ended up bleeding to death.” Davis explained, growing pale at the memory of the doctor's telling him and his wife the news of their daughter’s death, their only child. “For his part, Palmer did seem distraught over her death. But, he blamed Lily for it. So, he spent the rest of her life coming in and out of it, before Violet and I finally just adopted her and permanently took care of her.”

“It was Violet and I that ended up naming Lily, as well. Daisy hadn't picked one, that we were aware of, and Palmer wasn't being cooperative with anyone, us or the hospital staff.”

“Where is her father now?”

Davis sighed and carefully regarded Sy for a long moment, before replying. “He died, some years ago.”

Sy blinked at him, shocked. “You never told Lily this.”

“No.” He shook his head, guilty. “Vi and I thought it would be best that we didn't.”

“That's not really for either of you to decide.” Sy frowned at him, annoyed. “Lily deserves the truth.”

“I know she does.” Davis agreed. “I'll tell her, one day. As for you, Austin.” He met Sy's eyes. “I've unjustly projected my prejudices of Palmer onto you. You are, not even an ounce, the man he was. You are a man I wish my own daughter would have met and fallen in love with. But, I am glad my granddaughter met, fallen in love with and is having my great-grandbaby with you.”

“Thank you.” Sy answered, taking his compliment and finished off his drink.

[border-spam]

Leech Lord: Saints and Sinners

(mid COV era)

Seifa likes Ven, and that's a real problem for her because it's not the easily manageable kind of like that she's forced herself to utilise over the years. She normally likes people the same way Skags like the smell of day-old roadkill.

Someone who's company you trust and wit you prefer over the other options available for the night, that's an easy like, that's the kind of "friendship" she's tended to propagate for a long time now. Ones that don't need a huge amount of yourself. The kind that last years but don't cut into the meat of your secrets, those are the norm for her. Those are fine.

She likes Ven in a way that makes things harder, 'cause Seifa cares about him, and caring? That's tough. She's not very fucking good at caring about others.

Sei spent years avoiding caring in general, and now she's found herself leading a life where she's practically drowning in worry and fear for people she ended up loving anyway. Deep down she should have known that would happen eventually, the joke's always on her in the end - and it's normally Seifa who sets up the punchline.

Hurting Ven? It matters now, because she let herself care enough that his wellbeing spills over into her own. Him and Jak-Knife, Troy, Eli, the phantom of what she can recall Tyreen Calypso once being before an unknown vileness warped that brilliant smile into something vicious, they all hold a little place inside Sei's heart now, and she can't quite tell if she's pissed with herself for letting it happen, or frightened by how empty it had been in the first place.

Saying the wrong stupid thing as a stupid joke because you were too dumb to read the room right, that matters now, and for all her sharpness she knows damn well that putting her foot in her mouth has been a life long speciality of hers. Still, she makes sure to apologise for it every time, even if it's in one of the frankly weird ways she prefers.

Easier to have a litttttle bit too much to drink in one of the louder clubs before you gut yourself in genuine empathy to a friend, even easier if they are a tad wobbly too, and she's always been able to count on the man to throw a good wobble when she needs the company.

Squashed together like Rakklings in a cordoned off ViP area as the shitty bass music half muffles out her words, arm slung around his shoulder (sloshing gold flakes and vodka over the beautiful coat he's wearing) as she half yells half whispers that she's sorry about earlier - about what she said bout trading him for some junk? Was meant to be a joke, she'd only say that because she'd never do it, because he's so valuable to her, yeah? Still, she saw the reaction, saw the hurt - sorry man, won't happen again. Next round's on her, right? Right.

Easier to wrap it in a fun night out with envious glances and some flashing neon than go face to face - that's not worked out that well for her in the past. She doesn't really know how to be genuine without maybe showing a little too much of her inner vulnerability, and thing's didn't go right last time she tried. Genuine regret and an honest reminder of how much the person meant to her mixed badly, was misread as something else, and their heart had gotten broken despite her intent being to patch a wound in the first place.

Still, she trusts him. Figures that wouldn't happen, or it's unlikely, but it would be her fault if it did anyway, just like it had been before. Seems she only has her Seifa façade and the sad thing hiding under it to show people, one or the other without the security of something in between.

She knows she should probably work on a middle ground but... who has the time. She's a busy woman.

His reaction when she'd said it had twigged her in on something obvious though, that pang of sharp hurt that wiped the easy grin off his face and replaced it with something practiced and cold had hit a weak point she hadn't known about. Something about his past maybe, or how he'd valued himself.

Close as they were, squashed side by side and chuckling under breath that could blow the place if any of the horde of worshippers pulsating around their booth lit a match, Ven was in many ways still an enigma. His secrets were wrapped in layers of open friendship, he hid them under truths and insecurities they'd spent so many evenings sharing with his brother and Jak-Knife, or even their moody boy-king on long nights in his Sanctum.

She knew he'd tell her in his own time if that was something he was ever going to consider, but she also knew that she was an impossibly nosy little shit who wouldn't be able to let it go now that she had an inkling... and Troy had been NO help.

When Calypso wasn't intentionally wrapping himself around her finger and expertly hiding how much he enjoyed every second of it, Troy could be... surprising.

It's rare he says no to her and means it, but when he really does, he's fucking clear. There's a snap in the air as his voice silences it - a shift.

You don't keep pushing, something in your brain stem sends a warning with a finality that shivers the roots of your molars and shuts you up.

Troy is normally a pliant man. He likes being easy to manipulate, especially by women. She's known him long enough to catch that little "interest" of his, but when he's serious? You don't push back, so she stopped asking him to gossip secrets about Ven's history the very first time he denied her so clearly.

She might be underselling herself by saying her hunt for his past is purely out of curiosity, being nosy is only a part of it. In reality?

She doesn't want to hurt her friend again.

The realisation an in-joke, or a snarky comment, or any of the other myriad of shitty little communication tricks she employs could actually target somewhere already bleeding through his armour was upsetting.

That's something to celebrate when it's intended, but accidentally slipping a verbal shank into a friend's ribs isn't the win it is with a competitor, and she'd rather that not happen again, so she tries to heal it her way - reminds him over and over on nights like these how great a man he is.

She makes a scene in public so no one can deny the truth of it. A raised toast to The Oracle, sight of the Holy Twins, and a drunken speech to the club goers about how much he means to the Saints, how valuable he is to her.

She wears the trinkets he's gifted her whenever she can, returns the gestures of kindness with shoddily crafted wire figures, or quick repairs of any of his tech she notices could do with a tune-up.

Loops an arm through his and drags him through crowds for a chance at better seating while slumming, because don't they know who he is??

She'll tell them.

She knows, and she'll make sure everyone around them does too.

The Holy City is full of Saints, and Sinners.

A handful are both.

Ven belongs to @hieroglyphix and JK to @godkingsanointed

[browneyedmissy]

JV: Childhood Part II

Summary: Her brother was off at college. She had to take care of her siblings. When her schoolwork struggles as a result, she made a friend who only made things more complicated.

Part one here

Author's Note: I actually had this written up already and was supposed to be part of the first half but I somehow wrote too much and Tumblr wouldn't let me post it all at once.

High school took a sharp turn for her.

Without Avi, Jackie was taking care of her siblings more while her parents were at work. She would walk directly from her school when the bell rang to her siblings' schools and then make them a snack when they got home. She was able to start her homework a bit before dinner and she would work some more afterwards to keep up.

There were days where she found herself deeply envious of her classmates. Most of them were involved in clubs after school and sometimes she longed for the normalcy. But that feeling was squelched when she got to school and saw her siblings run up to her with bright eyes and full of love.

She found a deep level of interest in biology and was able to keep up until her junior year when the workload she had in addition to her responsibilities at home began to take a toll on her.

When her parents came home and she wanted to mention something to them about taking less responsibility, she stopped when she saw the weariness in their eyes. She had watched what it was like for them as Indian immigrants who spoke perfect English but with a heavy accent to live in the United States. Sometimes while they were out, the people they interacted would not understand them and she would see her mother hesitate just a fraction of a second and before her mother could turn to her, Jackie would step up.

They had tried for years to open up the store they had back up but after all of the costs, even their combined salary had made it hard to save for what they needed to start it up again.

"We're lucky we have you, beta." Her mother had said with a murmur, smoothing the top of her head.

She would nod and feel the burning of guilt she had of being a normal high school student.

Her grades started slipping and when she saw the C on her math examination, she felt her cheeks burn especially when she noticed that her classmates on either side of her had gotten a B+ and an A-. She suddenly felt like she was an imposter, masquerading as a smart person and that someone was going to come in and kick her out of class at any moment.

"How did you learn how to do those word problems?" Jackie asked the classmate on the left. What was her name again?

"My mom has been helping me. I didn't get them at first and I know most of our classmates have tutors. I can help you after school, if you'd like." She said with a smile.

"I have to take care of my siblings." Jackie said with a grimace.

"Dev and Anika, right? My mom's one of the teachers in the elementary school and Dev was one of her students last year."

She blinked at the girl. How did she know that when this was the first time Jackie had talked to her? "Uhh yeah, I…"

"You don't know my name, do you?" The girl quirked an eyebrow at her. "We've been in classes together since freshman year."

Jackie had the decency to feel embarrassed as she shook her head.

"Alexa Chan." She laughed good naturedly and stuck out her hand. Jackie shook it.

"Jackie Varma."

Alexa gave her a grin. "I know. How about I come home with you and we can work on the homework together?"

-

Her siblings adored Alexa.

The first thing she did when she met them at the school was bend at the knees a little so that she could look them straight in the eye when she shook their hand. Dev's eyes had widened a little and he puffed up his chest as if he was full grown. When Ani asked if she was coming over, Alexa had nodded, telling her that she needed to tell her mom first.

Their eyes had been wide as saucers when they figured out who her mom was.

They had gone to school the next day to tell everyone who would listen that Mrs. Chan's daughter was friends with their sister and she was over at their house.

Her parents liked her as well. She was extended a dinner invitation often and her parents were happy she had found a friend who was smart and capable.

Alexa started coming over twice a week when she didn't have swim practice to help Jackie with math. In return, Jackie helped her memorize her science flashcards.

Alexa wanted to be an engineer, Jackie learned. She was good at math because her mother had taught her how to understand it since she was a kid and she liked looking for patterns. She was an only child so she liked being around her mother's students and around her siblings.

And she was so pretty. Jackie couldn't help but notice her soft her hair looked and how kind and genuine her smile was. Sometimes at night, she had dreams where they were walking down the street, holding hands and no one did a double take when she leaned over and pressed a kiss on Alexa's lips.

She shook her head. Alexa was the only friend she had made in years and she couldn't jeopardize it over a crush.

It wasn't as if she hadn't had crushes before. But she kept her feelings close to her chest, especially when she realized that she might like girls as well. Or prefer girls. The sexuality thing freaked her out because the last thing she needed was for people to stare at her for being Indian and gay.

"Hey, do you want to come watch me swim on Friday? I'm going to be swimming with the varsity team." Alexa said excitedly.

"Yeah, Avi just came home so I can ask him to watch my siblings."

"Ooh yay!" Alexa gave Jackie a hug and pulled back with a horrified expression. "Sorry, I don't think I've ever hugged you before."

Jackie felt her cheeks burning. "We're good."

-

"Avi, I need you to watch Dev and Anika after school on Friday." Jackie said as she got home that day, her two siblings in tow. "My friend is competing in a swim meet."

Avi raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. "You have a friend, behan?"

"Haha." She rolled her eyes. Her brother stared at her before his face broke into a grin.

"You look happy, Jaks." He observed. "Is this friend actually a friend or do you have a paramour, little sister?"

"My friend's name is Alexa." She said, avoiding the subject.

He didn't skip a beat. "She can be your paramour too."

Jackie blinked as she looked at her brother whose face had become very serious.

"I-" She glanced at their siblings who were out of earshot coloring at the table. "I might like her Avi. But she's also the first friend I've made in a long time."

"If you're willing to let her in, then it might be worth exploring."

-

Jackie took a seat in the bleachers, a book perched on her lap and sunglasses on. She could see the girls warming up on the other side of the pool and Alexa grinned and waved when she saw her. She said something to her teammates and walked over her direction and Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You came! I'm so excited, Coach says I might have a chance at winning first for the butterfly heat." Alexa said brightly. "I'm up against one of the best swimmers, but I've been training hard."

"Good luck." Jackie offered a smile. Alexa offered one in return before heading back to her team.

The swim meet began and Jackie watched as people swam back and forth in the pool. Her eyes were trained to follow Alexa when she swam, the graceful arch of her legs as she jumped off the block and the way her arms moved through the water effortlessly.

Finally, it was time for the event that Alexa was most excited about. As she stepped up to the block, Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You got this Alexa!" She shouted. Alexa looked up in surprise and smiled back before getting refocused on the pool.

Her opponent pulled ahead of her the first two laps but Jackie noticed she wasn't keeping up the quick pace. Alexa on the other hand had paced herself and was closing ranks. The last lap they were swimming in tandem and as they reached the wall, Alexa pulled slightly ahead and-

"The winner of the heat is Alexa Chan, by 0.02 seconds!"

"Yes!" Jackie shouted in triumph. She ignored the glances she got from the people around her as she ran over to Alexa who threw her arms out for a hug, her eyes bright.

And as Alexa threw her arms around her, without thinking, Jackie pressed her lips against hers. They were soft and she smelled a little like chlorine as she moved her hands to tangle into Alexa's hair-

Jackie didn't notice the stares until she pulled away from Alexa who had a surprised but pleased look on her face. She pulled back and glanced around as people turned and whispered and suddenly, she felt like she was back in 5th grade, introducing herself to her classmates as Jackie Varma.

"Jackie-"

Without giving her a chance to say anything else Jackie turned and fled.

-

She threw herself into her bedroom, rushing past Avi as she reached home. She ignored him calling her name and she threw herself into her bed facedown.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go away."

"Jaks, your friend Alexa called my phone and wants to speak to you."

"I'm not here."

There was a moment of hesitation before Avi said something Jackie couldn't quite make out.

"Okay, I told her you would call later. Can I come in now?"

"Fine." She said muffled into her pillows.

Her brother opened the door.

"What happened?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Nothing you would understand."

"Behan, I think I of all people would understand."

"No, you won't! You don't live at home anymore, Ani! You don't know what I'm going through and it's easy when you don't have to be around people who know and judge you anymore!"

A terse silence passed. "Do you hate me for leaving? I had to. You'll understand one day. I don't know what you're going through with your friend Alexa, but-"

"I don't want to talk about it! I'm already stared at because we're Indian and I kept my head down through that. I want people to stop staring at me and why can't I just be normal?"

Her voice broke on a sob. Avi sighed and walked over to put a hand on her head.

"Jackie…"

"Don't touch me!" Jackie jumped back and glared at her brother. "Just leave! You're going back to school soon anyways, just- go."

-

She kept her head down for the next few days. Avi had gone back to school and things were sort of back to normal. Alexa had tried to talk to her during class, find her at lunch and after school but Jackie had just stayed silent, staring at the board until Alexa had given up.

Jackie sighed. She missed her best friend but already there were rumors going around the school. They were nosy and Jackie wanted them out of her face.

"You've been avoiding me." Jackie had opened the door to see Alexa standing in front later that day. "Can we talk?"

"Shouldn't you be at swim practice?"

"So you can try to avoid me again? I knew you were keeping track of my schedule. I skipped it. I figured this was kinda important."

"Alexa!" Dev said excitedly when he heard her voice. He moved past Jackie to grab her hand and pull her into the kitchen. "I made a drawing of you and sissy."

Her mouth twitched as she saw the colored drawing. She held it up and Jackie saw two girls, holding hands. Jackie felt her chest tighten.

"Why are they holding hands, Dev?" Jackie choked out.

"They're best friends and they love each other." He said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I-"

"Dev, can you take Ani to the backyard for a bit so your sister and I can talk?" Alexa said softly. "Thank you for the drawing."

He nodded and took Ani outside. When the door closed, she turned back to Jackie.

"Alexa, when I kissed you…" Jackie stammered.

"I wasn't expecting it." Alexa interrupted with a smile. "But I didn't not like it. But you just ran off before I could say anything."

Jackie stared at the girl in front of her.

"I do like you." Alexa said with a shrug. "I don't know what my sexuality is. Still figuring that out. But I do know that you're smart and pretty and my best friend. And I liked kissing you."

"People saw me kiss you." Jackie's face paled.

"Let them talk."

"How are you so casual about this?" Jackie said weakly. "People are going to stare at us. It'll be just like when I was in 5th grade-"

"Jackie. People are going to talk and stare no matter what. We're different from them. Not just because of that kiss but because we're not white."

Jackie felt nausea coming back up. "I can't have people stare. I won't have it. I can't be seen with you."

Her friend blinked and gave her a sad look.

"Okay. I'm not going to fight you on this, Jackie. I know you better than to try that. I'll keep my distance. But… let me know if you need anything."

As Alexa closed the door, Jackie could feel her heart shattering.

-

Her grades dipped again afterwards. Alexa had been a huge help with her siblings and it was hard to concentrate, especially in math when she still sat next to her.

She started feeling angry. She was angry that she was in charge of her siblings in the first place which led her to meeting Alexa.

She was angry at herself for being a coward and not being able to take people staring at her.

"Jackie, I want to talk to you." Her science teacher stopped her one day after class. Jackie dropped her bag on the ground with a huff. "Is everything okay? Your grades are dropping in my class."

"Yup. Fine. Can I go now?"

"Jackie."

"I don't know what you want me to say Ms. Torres. I have to take care of my siblings after school because the program only lasts until 3:30 for them. My parents can't afford to put them anywhere so I have to help out. So why should I give a damn?” Jackie said angrily. “I can't do anything about it, my siblings need me. And people stare at me because I'm different but I can't do anything about it!"

“You’ve been dealt a crappy hand.” Her teacher said with a critical eye before gesturing at a desk in front of her. Jackie gave a huff before sitting down at the desk and crossing her arms. “It sucks that what you want and what your parents want for you is not the same because that puts you at a disadvantage especially against all of your classmates whose parents can do things like afford tutors and know how to get their classmates into college.”

“It’s not fair.”

The words left her mouth before she could swallow them down to join resentment buried deep down in her heart.

“I know.”

Jackie uncrossed her arms, feeling herself deflate. All the anger that she felt mixed with the exhaustion and sadness that she had felt ever since she had realized how much the world hated her when she was nine and she was left just feeling tired.

“Neither of my parents went to college and they both worked full time jobs. And I was expected to take care of my siblings on top of going to school especially as I got older. I did well enough until I got to junior high and all of my classmates started doing things like going to camp and getting tutors to help them get ahead. All of a sudden, I was the Latina girl who was struggling to compete because they had all these advantages.”

"Exactly. If it's not fair, why should I try?"

Ms. Torres observed her quietly for a moment. "Your brother said the same thing."

"Avi?"

"He was one of my first students. He gave me trouble most of the year and then he and I talked just like you did. He told me that you were going to go do advanced classes in junior high and he felt like he missed out on his chance because he had to take care of you and your siblings."

"I didn't know."

"Because he cared about you and Dev and Anika more than anyone. And he got himself together when he realized he wanted to make sure you did more with your life."

Jackie brought her sleeve to her face and it came back wet.

-

"Behan?"

"Hey, Avi. I miss you. And I'm sorry."

He gave a chuckle over the phone. "I wish I had recorded that so I could play it back to you whenever I needed it."

"I kissed Alexa. I might be gay. I don't know. I don't want to label it right now."

"And you don't have to. You do not have to tell anyone, unless you want to, Jaks."

"I want to go to college." Her voice trembled. "I want to be a doctor. I love science and I'm good at it."

"You go do that then." He said firmly.

"Dev and Anika-"

"Will be fine. Mom and Dad will figure it out. You need to make sure you take care of you too."

"Okay. I love you, bhai."

[sonicasura]

SonicAsura's Doodles #6

"Pr...axis! KILL PRAXIS!!!" -Dark Jak, Elven turned Devil

If Praxis' Dark Eco torture did more than just create Dark Jak. The steady build of Dark Eco over the course of taking missions from the Underground and when the 'one' (not Keira or Daxter but someone else, (⌐■-■)) who accepted all of him gets seriously injured by Praxis, Jak snaps awakening the true inner darkness.

This results in his Dark Jak form mutating into a much more powerful and dangerously volatile form called Diablo. Size doubles, concentrated Dark Eco Crystals form on his shoulders and tattoo like splotches on his skin. His head seems normal at first glance only for a poor sap to realize that his mouth is completely closed.

Monstrous bottom jaw armed with sharp teeth and perfect camouflage for a good fright/bite. Claws and feet capable of climbing any surface and a tail powerful enough to smash boulders with a single slam and blade able to eviscerate targets.

A perfect killing machine fueled by pure primal instincts won't hesitate to tear apart anything he considers prey or enemy. Only ones who are always considered 'friends' to Jak in this state are Daxter, the Kid and his 'one'/designated mate. Others are considered potential threats and are risk of being attacked.

If considered an enemy, you better run with all your might and pray that death will be swift if caught. This beastish Jak won't hesitate to rip his prey to shreds or unleash more powerful Dark Eco Moves. Being burned alive by Dark Eco Fire Breath isn't a pleasant way to go.

A personal design of a brand Dark Jak transformation instead of Dark Giant. Dark Giant is the last power available in the second game but the design was underwhelming. They simply doubled his size and nothing else.

So, I decided to add some animal traits alongside some inspiration from the mythical Chimera to create this beastish form. As for the 'mate' mechanic, it's in an animal and sometimes person's nature to protect their significant other. Gender has nothing to do with it btw.

His mate could be male or female and he wouldn't care because he would tear to shreds anyone who dares harm them.

Even though I'm Asexual, I support the gender preferences of others.

Have a good Pride Month folks! And please continue to follow Covid-19 regulations until we are in the all clear.

SonicAsura out!

[marvel-redemption-omega]

The last three (3) of my ten (10) tattoos!

Guardian angel wings that wrap from my back around my ribs and under my boobs in kind of a hug from behind... 😚 I got them for my close friend, who was taken from me by a drunk driver, last year after my suicide attempt in 2016....

Long story short our relationship was like this: friends-best friends-bf/gf-mutual break up-stayed close friends like siblings, and it absolutely devastated me when I got the call on the dreary, rainy June 1st, 2012.... So he is my guardian angel.

A bible verse I got with my big brother for my first tattoo; he is super religious (I'm more agnostic than anything) and it is a variant of what I suggested. My original suggestion was "Brother, I won't let you drown." for me to get for him and he would get "Sister, I won't let you burn." The significance is he was a firefighter and I am (basically) a firefighter in the military.

"When you pass through the waters I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers..." My big bro has the second half of Isiah 43:2, a more modern wording of it of course.

And acourse I got Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon! They were part of my childhood gaming and I couldn't not get them aha. I am planning on getting more added to my leg with them. Jak and Daxter will probably be next along with a few others, all either from games or something else from my childhood.

But that completes my tattoo spam. 😙

[altegos]

Well ya having something new is always exciting and fun :3. That's cool you thought up four things to go into the story, today alone. I'm sorry two of the four things won't exactly work through. But besides that's sounds like your on a roll. For ideas today. About ETMN: I'm really excited to read what you have in-store for mad's Origins, all your character backstorys are really unique and that's something I really love. 1/?

Like there really unique you didn't cop out at all. I've never heard of Bing being a cyborg or king being....what is he again? How long did it take you to come up with those two's backstory? And with the main plotline, I know what that feels like knowing what you want to happen....but not quite sure how to get to that point. It's really a pain. I know you'll come up with something Jak. :D 2/2

King is a tree spirit. Not gonna lie, I really need to check in with King again soon. He’s a bit more fleshed out in my head than he was when I last wrote arbout him. Tbh I need to check in with several peeps. Like the Googles and the Jims.

I don’t remember the catalyst for Bing being a cyborg, but he was the first point and originally for this I was just writing about him for a few posts, and then it just grew and now (nearly a whole twelve months later) here we are, over 50 characters and growing.

King was literally born of a need for me to explain why King was obsessed with protecting a group of squirrels. That lead to him being an environmentalist/nature lover, which led to the idea of a city’s development basically destroying his forest, and the idea of Dark having lied to him about his trees. It helped flesh both King and Dark out a bit. I really need to check in with him again though for real.