#jaws ripoffs

[randomdeinonychus]

I am so excited that Synapse's release of this film is finally available!

You can order it with the limited slipcover at DiabolikDVD, which is a seller I highly recommend in general.

I had sworn off buying any other movies for the rest of June at least, but I had to order this one.

[Note: This appears to just be the US cut, but it features "Deleted & Alternate Scenes" so hopefully that gives us at least a tiny glimpse of the original cut of the film]

[heckyeahponyscans]

This is the video that inspired the Jaws post, a 60 year old orca absolutely wrecking a great white shark

[termagax]

i think the overwatch lore book released included alf and vaguely mentioned them being made up of "indigenious" australians but it's so vague on weather they mean it was made up of indigenious australians, or just a few of them happened to be indigenious OR if they just mean indigenious as in "australians that lived there right before they got kicked off for the omnics" or like the actual real life indigenious people and it's annnnnnoying

im gonna be so real i think even if it is meant to be like primarily aboriginal people i think it is in EXTREMELY poor taste considering the ALFs purpose in the lore is primarily to "explain" why the junkers hate robots so much. genuinely i think this chunk of the lore is unsalvagable and also OVW hates indigenous people sooooo fucking much

[kply-industries]

[spleen9000]

watched drop dead gorgeous last night. it was not quite what I expected. some really funny bits, a lot less murder than I expected, and all the jokes around hank went way too far and were deeply uncomfortable. overall pretty fun and campy but I don't think I'd watch it again and it didn't live up to how much my old gay work dad hyped it up to me.

[tatorthots]

— get you

featured: college!Eren x afab!reader x college!Levi, Mikasa Ackerman, Sasha Braus, Louise (canon Yeagerist)

cw: modern!au, slight fluff if you really squint, suggestive content, minors dni, toxic dynamics, possessiveness, cursing

synopsis: the life of a college student is already hard enough as it is with classes, homework, and lectures so why not add a complicated love triangle as well?

a/n: this is a repost !! I’ve written this before but decided to go back and re-edit it :) to everyone who’s read this before I hope you all enjoy this improved version!

Eren fucking Yeager.

The college campus’ fuckboy and the literal bane of your existence.

Eren has been the thorn in your side since you were both assigned dorm mates at the beginning of your junior year of college. Sure, you’ve heard of the infamous name he set out for himself as the ruthless ‘Attack Titan’ in your school's football team, and you were fully aware of his cold and narcissistic personality but hey, who were you to judge a book by its reviews, right? So you made the mistake of ever being kind to him when you first introduced yourself only to be met by desolate green eyes and a scoff. Not to mention he had the audacity to give you ‘house rules’ which basically summarized to cleaning the dorm and staying out of his way. No, Eren almost never spared you small talk or even pretended to tolerate your mere existence. Why? Who fucking knows. Honestly, you firmly believed the brunette was born with a vendetta against you — every day striving and scheming to better his tactics in making your life miserable like some ripoff supervillain. But worst of all is the fact he seemed to make a habit of following you around campus like some lost puppy. You’d think someone who supposedly hates you would do anything to keep themselves away, right? Wrong. He thrived off bickering, insulting, and annoying you at any chance he got. Weirdly enough, no matter how many times you prayed someone would approach you to give you reason to ditch him, everyone always seemed to particularly steer clear from you when he was with you. Almost as if they were too afraid to even look your way, let alone talk to you. But I guess that could all be chalked up to Erens possessive behavior; his sinister stare and malicious intent were ever present anytime anyone dared get close to you. Not that you would know though, no, you were far too busy rolling your eyes and thinking of witty comebacks or insults. Unknowingly, making it easier to keep you all to himself.

Silly girl.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The echo of a blunt object clamoring to the floor abruptly stirred you from your peaceful slumber as the sound of it rolling on the hardwood floor rattled through the cramped dorm. Sitting up from your resting position you outwardly groaned as you rubbed the sleep off your eyes, “What the hell?” you sighed. Snatching your phone from its charging port you checked the time, squinting your eyes at the sudden brightness, “5:06 a.m?” Huffing in annoyance your jaw clenched as you glared at the door, already starting bright and early this morning huh you asshole, throwing your legs off the bed you groggily made your way out your bedroom door. Fuming at the fact you were forced to wake up so early after pulling an all-nighter studying last night; which, by the way, was already hard to do with Eren and his friends cluttering around the living room all night.

“What do you think you’re doi—“ your voice came to a complete halt when your eyes landed on an opened package and your recently delivered figurine displaced out of its box and lying on the floor. And to add insult to injury there stood Erens number one psycho of a fan, Louise. Giggling to herself as she kicked what would’ve been your most prized possession away from her. “What.. what are you doing…?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as your eyes remained focused on your figurine. The same figurine you excitedly pre-ordered a year ago. You couldn’t even afford to eat for a month afterward because of how much you spent on it and now there it was being kicked around by some desperate pest? So balling your hands into fists you marched over and shoved Louise aside to see the damage she had caused. But your anger only ignited when you saw your favorite character's weapon broken in half and their stand shattered to pieces. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You seethed as you bent down to sorrowfully try to connect the shattered pieces together. You were tired. So tired of this. Carefully tightening your hold on the broken pieces; you hated how you felt like you could cry from frustration. “Oops~” was all Louise bothered herself to say in response to her crime. Quietly, almost too calmly, you spoke, “… What did you just say?” “I said ‘oops’,” she cheekily replied, “besides, it’s not my fault you leave around boxes for anyone to touch.” Resting her hand on her hip she smirked down at you, “If you really cared so much about your little dolls then you shouldn’t have been so irresponsible~ heh, hope you learned your lesson.”

Standing up from your crouched position, you side-eyed Louise with a piercing, almost eerily, hyper-focused glare. This is it, you thought before clenching your fists and raising your arm, intent on actually beating her until your knuckles ached. But before you could swing, you felt a cautious grip on your wrist and a firm hold on your hip. Everything moved so fast, you didn’t even get to acknowledge the fingertips that slid up to the hem of your latex shorts before you found yourself spun and placed behind Eren. Staring up at him you blinked a few times. “Don’t get so heated.” He spat, with a disinterest in his tone almost mocking your apprehensive reaction, “She’s my guest.” He cocked his head at you with a sarcastic smile, and god did your eye twitch. It made your stomach churn and skin crawl knowing what he meant by that, and it… hurt. Shaking your thoughts, you swat his hands off of you, and scowled at the man towering over you, daring to defend the rat responsible for all of this. Dryly you scoffed, “She’s just another fuck-buddy you bring in here ren.” Crossing your arms together you continued your jeering, “You make a mess wherever you go and you even have the audacity to drag in trash? Tch. Please.” But, oh how naive you are to not notice. The glint of amusement reflecting off Erens emerald eyes just from the venom in your tone; it makes his dick twitch. He shifts a little uncomfortably trying to ease himself before exasperatedly sighing. “Well dove,” he begins as he starts to circle around you, “maybe if you weren’t such a self-righteous prude I wouldn’t have to bring girls in here…” stopping right in front of you he leaned down to reach eye-level, his taunting gaze only inches away from you as he lowly growled out, “I could just fuck you instead.”

Truth be told, Eren knew he was full of it — straight up lying through his teeth every time he told you he didn’t want you. In reality, the man was absolutely obsessed with you and anyone with eyes could see it, everyone except you. But unfortunately, Eren isn’t the type to admit his feelings so freely, let alone submit to his emotions. No, he was too prideful for that. Don’t be too harsh on him though, I mean, the idiot hasn’t even figured out himself what it is he feels for you. It could be part of the reason why he’s so particularly hostile with you, and why he’s equally possessive. Not to mention that Eren has been the object of many’s affection since he could remember; as in he’s never not had what he did or didn’t want. He learned early on that personality and sincerity isn’t anything more than currency in this world, and he abides by that principle. So to have someone like you, who’s breathtakingly mesmerizing, compassionate, intelligent, interesting, funny, and well, you, is completely left field for this playboy. You’re everything he thought wasn’t possible. You contradict his entire worldview of people. How could he not resent you — or fall for you all the same? He hates it.

However, as of now, all you know is that you’re fed up with this situation. Pushing past them to grab your keys and hoodie, you turned around and stormed through the front door. Did you know where you were going? Not a clue. But you sure as hell aren’t going to be anywhere near here. Anywhere near him. Walking out the door you heard Louise’s cackling laugh practically grating your ears and it only made your blood simmer further as you slammed the door behind you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I’ve told you to speak to the Dean and ask for another dorm mate,” sighing as she stirred her coffee with a spoon, her dark eyes flickered up at you, “I’m sure if you explain your situation to him he’ll be more likely to accept your proposal.” Anxiously combing your hair back, you groaned at your best friend's advice, “Mikasa don’t you think I’ve already tried that?” Dramatically throwing your arms on the diner's table, you buried your face in your arms, “The Dean only has a strict appointment-based schedule,” with a pout you lift your head up slightly, “and the waiting list spans for the next four months!” Tucking your head back to sulk, Mikasa hummed in acknowledgment, but that’s when your other friend spoke up. “Then why don’t you try talking to his assistant?” Snapping your head up, you stare questioningly at Sasha as she shoved another beignet in her mouth, “Yeah but —mmph — what’s his name again?” “Levi.” Mikasa chimed in, “Levi Ackerman.” Levi Ackerman..?, you thought, Why does that name sound so familiar? But you didn’t get long to think about it before Sasha excitedly shouted out, “Yes—! Levi!” Putting her fork down she rubbed her chin in contemplation, “Huh, I heard he’s kind of a total jerk though, and everyone who’s ever met up with him spirals into some sort of existential crisis…” Mikasa kicked Sasha from under the table as she nodded in your direction, “O-oh! But um.. I mean how bad could he be, right?” Trying to nervously wave off what she said, Sasha patted you on the head, “You’ll be fine, y/n!”

I’ll be fine? Groaning again, you leaned your cheek on your hand as you looked at the people chatting or studying at their tables. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice..” which to an extent is true. You either continue to put up with Eren until you eventually get an appointment with the Dean, or you talk to Levi Ackerman and hope you don’t spiral. That name though…, you pondered, Why do I know it? Smearing around the egg yolk on your avocado toast you glanced up at your friends. “Hey, why does that Levi name sound so familiar? Do we know him or something?” “Yes and no.” Sasha answered, “You’ve heard his name before because he’s that super mysterious senior everyone’s afraid of.” “He’s been the leader of the Honors Society since he was a sophomore, and he’s top-ranking academically in the country.” Mikasa added. Thinking to yourself you finally remembered, “Oh! That’s right!” You triumphantly chirped until it dawned on you what you remembered. Noticing the dread in your eyes Sasha laughed, “Mhm, you definitely look like you remember now~” “He’s that academic thug…” sinking into your chair you genuinely began to wonder who you crossed in your past life to deserve this, I probably helped commit genocide or something…, “Yeah, he’s gotten into a few fights but it’s always settled within reason.” “Pft, c’mon Mikasa, the schools probably too scared to punish its most valuable student.” Sasha snorted. “Hm. You might have a point, but it’s usually ruffians who feel they have something to prove that challenge him,” Mikasa pointed out, “He also hangs around his small clique. I think, our seniors like Petra, Eld, Gunther, Olou, and Hange.” “See y/n! How bad could he be if he hangs out with them?” Sighing, you smiled at your two closest friends and their attempt at making you feel better. “Yeah, you guys are right,” finishing your latte, you beamed down at them, “I’m gonna kick today's ass!”

After the three of you waved your goodbyes, you set off to go find the very man you only hear of through quiet whispers. Honestly, with all the mystery shrouding him you really started to believe he was some sort of urban legend the school came up with. Kind of like ‘if you don’t do your homework, Levi Ackerman will show up in your closet’ type of thing, you know? With an exasperated sigh, you look down at your clothes. Great. I’m about to meet the guy who’s also known for his ocd in a jujutsu keisen hoodie, spandex shorts, and crocs.. Sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck, you stared up at the birds flying above you, I wish I could live freely like them… Longingly looking up, you snap out of your thoughts as you approached the administrative office. Well, I promised Sasha and Mikasa I’d do this so.. here I go. Stepping into the front office you began your unexpected hour-and-a-half-long journey being sent practically all across campus in search of this Levi guy. You went from office to office, met up with more people than you’ve probably spoken to in the last two weeks, and wasted time waiting around for people who ended up either not knowing where he is or sending you back across campus. Until finally you made it to the science research facility building where you tiredly dragged yourself toward the receptionist’s desk. “Please..” you heaved, “Please tell me… *gasp of air* tell me Levi Ackerman is in this building!” Your eyes pleaded at the poor, spooked old lady as she stared at you. “Oh honey, please have a seat!” She scurried next to you and guided you to sit down, “He’s tucked away in the computer lab right now, let me go notify him!” Grabbing her arm, you peered into her eyes, “He’s here?” “Y-yes!” Nervously laughing, she placed her hand on top of yours, “You know what? How about you come with me. He’ll most likely decline your visit if I notify him.” And with that, you made your final trudge with the old lady you managed to scare into personally leading you to Levi.

“Alrighty sweetheart, this is him.” Pointing toward a large door, the receptionist politely smiled at you before hurrying back to her desk and leaving you all alone. Glancing at the wooden door, you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Okay… I um.. I made it this far, right? You tried to reassure yourself but the longer you stared at the door, the more your imagination ran rampant. What if he’s big and terrifying looking? You imagined a tall, ogre-looking man, Or what if he’s a total creep? Then some balding guy who resembled a mole. If ren were here I wouldn’t feel so intimid—huh? Ren? Shuddering at your thoughts, you took a deep inhale, Alright, clearly the longer I stand here the more I’m beginning to lose it, so with a little pep-talk you figured you might as well rip the bandaid. Twisting the handle, you carefully pushed open the door and peeked inside. The entire room was almost the size of an entire lecture hall but filled with neat rows of computers. Wow… you thought as you opened the door further to step inside. Looking around the room in amazement, you immediately stopped in your tracks when you noticed a figure sitting at the front of the room reading a textbook with notebooks and papers stacked on the table. That must be him. Clearing your throat you decided to call out to him, “Excuse me, I’m looking for Levi Ackerman,” slowly walking up to him you tried to fill in the silence, “I’m assuming that’s you, right?” Closing in on the table he sat at, you managed to make out a head of black hair and.. and him drinking tea? Quirking a brow at the full tea set he had displayed, you spoke up again, “My names y/n. I wanted to talk to you about an issue I have and I was told you cou—“ “Get lost.” H-huh..? Did I mishear him? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you but I—“ “If you don’t intend to offend me then go bother somebody else. I’m busy.” His voice was deep and monotone, clearly uninterested in what you had to say by the way he didn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you knitted your brows in irritation. Of course. Gritting your teeth, you strode right up to him and slammed your hand down on the desk, “You’re a tough guy to find, you know that?” You chuckled dryly, “Did you also know I spent the last two hours running around campus trying to find you? So no, I’m not leaving until you at least listen to what I have to say.” Setting his tea down, the raven-haired man finally turned to look at you, “Is that so?” He questioned, though it was clear the question was more rhetorical than genuine. With a long sigh, he swiveled his chair to completely face you; and then that’s when you flinched in surprise as you scanned him. He’s hot… you thought, Oh god, he’s hot..!? The man in question had inky black hair styled in an undercut, a complimentary choice when paired with his delicate yet sharp features. This definitely wasn’t what you expected. Even the dark circles under his eyes look good… A light blush began to creep up on your cheeks as you realized the commotion you just made in front of someone like him. All the while you stared in a flustered daze, Levi was languidly trailing his eyes across your body. Resting his head on his hand, he couldn’t deny he liked the sudden surprise presented to him. Huh.. he mused. “Well? What’s so damn important?” Straightening up at the sound of his voice, you smoothed out the wrinkles on your hoodie, “Oh! Yes, of course.. I’d like to propose a change of dorm mates.” Staring at him, the intensity in his eyes only worked to captivate you to him, “My… my roommate isn’t working out, and no matter what I try to do to civilize the situation it just doesn’t work out..” you ended, almost disappointingly. Levi hummed as he listened before standing up from his chair. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?” But something about his tone made you think he might’ve been referring to something else. “Why not go to the Dean?” He inquired as he slowly approached you, and you subconsciously took a few steps back until the back of your thighs hit a table behind you and you almost fell sitting on it. “The Dean has appointments booked all through the semester and since the matter is urgent I figured I’d reach out to his personal assistant.” The fact you managed to jumble that out without stuttering was a blessing in itself. “I see.” Narrowing his eyes on you he continued, “Then I guess I have no choice but to agree if it’s so urgent.” Blinking a few times you took a moment to process his words, Is he agreeing to help me? “Meet me later this evening to discuss the details,” his expression remained unchanged but you caught glimpse of the glimmer in his silver eyes as he stared at you, “I assume 7 works for you?” “7..?” You muttered, “Ah, yes, of course!” “Great. I’ll escort you then. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he closed in on your body and reached an arm past your waist, his lips inches away from your ear as he leaned in, “I have other matters to attend to.” Your body stiffened and your breath hitched until he pulled back with a notebook in his hand. He was.. just reaching for his notebook..? Nodding your head in agreement you politely excused yourself and raced out of the room with a bright blush searing your skin as he watched slightly amused at your disappearing figure.

After exiting the computer lab, you stood there for a few seconds in a flustered haze. What the hell just happened? Brushing your fingertips across your cheek you tried to ease away the warmth on them. Heh, I’ve gotta tell Sasha and Mikasa about this! You giddily thought as you whipped out your phone and started typing in the group chat. And after a morning of lectures and labs without your backpack, you finally made it back to your dorm. Heaving a sigh, you slung yourself on the couch and peeked your eye to where your broken figurine last lay. It’s gone… You figured Eren must’ve thrown it away along with the rest of the trash before leaving for his afternoon classes. Grabbing a pillow you covered your face and screamed into the fabric before sitting up and punching it a few times in frustration. “Fuck—!” You loudly groaned out. Why does he have to be that way? Scrunching your face, you massaged the bridge of your nose to calm down, He’s a dick to everyone, sure, but why does he target me so much? Even after… Throwing the pillow to the other side of the couch you hastily stood up and checked the time. Whatever, you bitterly thought, it’ll all be over soon enough. So you brushed off the thought and jumped in the shower to get ready for tonight’s occasion.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Rushing around your room, you turned your phone on to see 6:43 p.m. glaring at you. No, no, nononono—! Hissing in annoyance at your time management, you hurriedly slipped on a long, slit, silk skirt over your sheer tights. “Okay, alright, almooost done!” Grunting as you put on a pair of platform boots, you stood up and admired yourself in the mirror. “Heh,” you chuckled, “Elegant and fashionable with a touch of promiscuous.” After pulling a quick jojo pose in the mirror, you adjusted your open back top and strut through your bedroom door with an excited smile. But your smile immediately turned into a grimace when you caught sight of Eren and Louise lounging on the couch. Fucking bitch.. you internally sneered as you scrunched your nose in distaste. “Self-respect… and that goes for the both of them.” You mumbled under your breath. Forget it. Rummaging around the kitchen, you tried looking for your hand purse until an agitated voice called out to you.

“Shocked you’re not tryna run around empty-handed again since you had no problem with it this morning,” you could already see his irked frown, “and yeah I heard you’ve been taking a tour through campus by the way.” Roiling your eyes, you heard him shift as you clipped on your earrings, “I looked for you in the library to bring you your bag since apparently, you need everything done for y—“ widening his eyes, Erens jaw slacked as he eyed you. “…. fuck” he lowly muttered. He knew you were fine, he gets mesmerized by your beauty every day, but damn. Your leg peeking out of the silk fabric slit, and the way it’s tight fit complimented the curve of your ass was just too much for him. His mildew gaze trailed up to your open back top and he almost groaned at the slightest tease of side-boob. And just as he almost folded, he snapped out of it when he realized you were going out dressed like that. “Wait, where the fuck are you going?”

But Eren knew that wasn’t what he was really asking. No, what you wore never bothered him, in fact, he loved when you got all dolled up; let others look because he can fight — and he has, for you. What Eren was really asking was ‘Where the fuck are you going without me?’ ‘Who are you meeting?’ ‘Do you like them?’ ‘Would you forget me?’ Those were the real questions bouncing around in his head.

“Doesn’t matter.” Was all you replied, but the grip those two words had on him were like a vice. Leaning down to adjust your ankle bracelet, his eyes darted to the way your back subtly arched. He could already feel the tent growing in his pants, but he couldn’t be bothered to do something to hide it when all he could think about was how pretty you’d look stuffed full of him. He was desperate to touch you, feel you, claim you — just as desperate as he was to be owned by you, in every way, any way you’d allow him to be yours. Maybe you were just too dense for your own good. He tried his damndest to keep his composure as best as he could but his voice gave it away, “It’s a fucking date.” He snarled, low and threateningly. You glanced over at him, confused and infuriated at his audacity to interrogate you about where you were going or who you were meeting. “Doesn’t. Matter.” Both of you locked eyes as an intensity conflicted within his irises and a rage burned within yours. Scoffing, you turned on your heels, grabbed your purse, and walked toward the front door. Eren wanted to stand up and stop you, he wanted to do something anything but the pulsing ache in his pants kept him rooted to the couch. “Tell me who it is.” He demanded, and you finally reached your breaking point. Clenching your fists you turned your head and glared at Eren, “Hah. You’re really something, huh?” You condescendingly seethed, “You always bring in random girls in here almost every night and you have the fucking audacity to question me?” Reaching for the handle, you pushed open the door, “Don’t forget your place, Eren.” And his eyes widened at the use of his name, “And I won’t forget mine.” Slamming the door behind you, he felt his heart ache at the way your voice wavered when you said those last words. He wanted to argue, tell you that you’re wrong, that he’d do anything for you but he couldn’t. All he could do was stare at the door and lose himself in his thoughts.

Through the halls, you bitterly made your way outside the dormitory. Who the hell does he think he is? Roughly opening doors, you fumed, Acting like he owns me. Hah! If I didn’t know better I’d even think he cares about me. Bursting open the front doors of the dorm entrance you marched outside and hastily walked out of the dormitory district, What does he want from me? Seriously, I don’t understand him at all! You clutched your purse as you trembled with anger, He’s so confusing, ugh! He does things for me that make me feel special but then he… but then he acts like that! Like.. like Eren and I d— bumping into somebody, you stumbled back. Huh? Looking up you were surprised to see,

“Levi?”

“The hells wrong with you?” Steadying you with a hand around your arm, you didn’t realize he had grabbed you to keep you from falling, “Do you normally walk around like you’re ready to slice someone’s head off?” He asked, and you looked away in embarrassment, “.. sorry.” “Clearly whoever you’re so damn angry with should be the one apologizing,” letting go of your arm he sardonically added, “or it’s their funeral.” Covering your mouth, you laughed at his words, and his attention focused on the sound. Pretty.. he thought. Easing from your laughter, you looked up at him with a cheery smile, “Thank you for going out of your way to wait for me, I’m sorry I’m a little late.” “Yeah.. don’t-um..,” clearing his throat, Levi averted his gaze from yours, “Don’t worry about it.” Blinking at him, you stood admiring the way the luminescent streetlights illuminated his clear skin, “We should get going.” Interrupting your daze, you tilted your head in curiosity, Hm? Oh, that’s right, “Where are we going?” Checking his watch, his sharp eyes flickered up at you, “There’s a cafe I frequent often,” walking next to you, he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you next to him and away from the street, “It’s a little hidden but they have a good atmosphere.” His gaze drifted to you and carefully took in the sight of you, “I hope it’s to your taste.” Glancing at him your eyes sparked with excitement, “A hidden cafe? I love checking out new coffee shops to study in! I’m looking forward to potentially adding another shop to my list!” Levi watched as you buzzed with enthusiasm. He was a little apprehensive about inviting you out to a small cafe, not knowing if it’d be something you’d enjoy, so to see you react so excitedly he sighed in relief. Seems this little venture might actually be worth its while. Unbeknownst to you, Levi did do a little background check on you through his student access — perk of being the Deans assistant — and he was pleasantly surprised to see all the achievements and participation activities you had under your belt. Most students don’t bother to do more than get through classes and do solely what’s asked of them as students. So his interest most definitely peaked when he quickly scanned through your transcript. Charming, fierce, intelligent, and beautiful. Lucky me.. he mused.

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[archangelsarchway]

eheh. sloan special.

Sloan Cameron, a worker at the local ice cream shop was just in front of said ice cream shop with their overcoat off and a revealing tank top under, while licking an ice cream cone. Their tattoos riddled their torso, chest and back, tattoos of hieroglyphics, ankhs and miniature dogs dancing around their midriff. They notice your staring and smile wide, chipped tooth on full display.

"Good morning! Want one?" They extend their hand out with the ice cream in hand, some dripping onto their hand but they overall seem unbothered. "I'd rather have my own, thanks. What do you recommend?" "Oh, don't worry, i'll give you the Sloan special-" they walk inside the store and start working behind the register, presumably to take your order. Wait- what? "what. is the Sloan special?? is that a euphemism??"

"um. No, but don't tell Mr. Cassidy I give these out to people alright?" They're blushing and acting fidgety . Their nametag says Sloan and they look expectantly at you, as if they expect you to promise that you won't tell this Cassidy guy. "...Sure. what's the special?" They grin widely, and start working immediately- mixing vanilla and chocolate with strawberry. You talk while they work, about what they're doing in town (Sloan is here while interning at some place called the Wayfinders, and it doesn't pay the bills so they picked up this job) and they talk about their latest dig sites and artifacts they've found, along with facts about the ancient civilizations they had a hand in discovering more about. They finish making the ice cream, but you notice they gave you two pints of the ice cream when you only paid for one. "Sloan? why is there two." They're scribbling something down on a piece of paper. "Well, you wanted the special, and it's supposed to be shared by two people- whether you paid for two or not." They place the scrap paper in your bag, getting close enough so that you can smell a hint of sandalwood and a crisp outside smell- "just call me anytime you wanna sit down again and share."

-+- a week later, you find the confidence to text first and invite them to a movie watch party with a bad Indiana Jones ripoff. They respond almost instantaneously and after you text them the address, they're there in under 20 minutes. You have the ice cream in hand and their eyes sparkle brightly "You kept it?" "Of course, the Sloan special is meant for two." you smile at how flustered they are, jaw hanging open and they shake themselves a bit before composing themselves and opening their pint of the ice cream, alongside you on the couch. They start grumbling first at the historical inaccuracies, but their eyes start drooping and their yawning is louder than the badly edited explosion effects. oh, they struggle to stay awake but ultimately you look over at them, TV light illuminating the side of their face as one leg is bent and another lying flat as their arms are strewn everywhere and the ice cream hanging perilously from their hand as it dares to fall onto the floor. You smile sofly and press a light kiss to their forehead and you could have sworn that they stirred a bit and shifted a little, like they were awake but you wrote it off, being tired yourself. -+- Sloan HAD to get you to kiss them again. -+-

part 2? maybe from sloan's perspective...

[qifreyrepublic]

ahh hiii! I saw your blog and was wondering if I could request a yandere!Chuuya x Male!Reader whose love language is d3@th thr3@t$??? I was thinking maybe the reader was perfectly fine with the yandere tendencies and has a weird way of flirting. It’s perfectly fine if not :]

example:

“Chuuya, I will take an apple and shove it in your mouth before lighting you on fire and burning you alive.”

Man has killer ribs (literally)

Note; Zero idea when you asked this! And my sincerest apologies for not answering, I perhaps... Forgot this account existed, per se... Also, DEFINITELY OOC, I wrote this T almost 12am and did not go over for spelling errors, nor did I put s lot of effort into the writing... I promise to rewrite this in the future.

Pairing; Yan!Chuuya x Threatening!Male Reader

TRIGGER WARNING; Death threats, possible relationship toxicity, death jokes. (Do NOT reinact anything depicted in this writing.)

DO NOT REUPLOAD!!!

"Doll... Can you pass me the wine?"

Chuuya said with an exasperated sigh, his hands moving up to undo his waist coat, allowing it to drop to the floor with a soft-- 'thump.' Before be reached down and scooped up the fabric from the floor.

"Oh yeah? How about I do ya' another favor and shove it so far up your ass that it comes out your mouth and you become s wine fountain? Well, you might as well be! You drink that shit so much I'm surprised you haven't turned red!"

M/N said with an overly sarcastic tone; His legs were thrown lazily over the side of the couch, allowing them to dangle down while his h/c cascaded against the soft, velvety, red couch cushions.

"Besides, Chuuya! You have legs that work! Use them. Unless you want to end up like that one agency member... Cuntikida? Kunikooda? Kunkidoouh? Something or another."

*With a soft eye roll, Chuuya reached into the wine cabinet himself and pulled out the fanciest and strongest wine he could find; The bottle's glass was a deep maroon color which constrasted against the gold accents that surrounded the label and cork.

With a gentle pop, the bottle was opened, followed behind was the sound of a gentle pour of liquid rushing down into a glass.

"Don't tell me that mackerel Dazai tried to break in to find you."

*A huff escaped the h/c male's lips as he tossed his phone to the side, allowing the device to land onto the glass coffee table with a thud.*

"And what if he did, leprechaun? What are you going to do about it? Use your powers and cross the fucking rainbow to beat his ass?"

*M/N said with a scoff before throwing his legs to the side, allowing him to sit up properly.*

"Besides, you won't even let me leave this place! It's only natural to be bitchy you stupid ass ginger! What? Are you lacking braincekss to-- Hey! Chuuya!"

*M/N yelped, squirming about as Chuuya had grabbed him by the back of the shirt before pulling him up and holding him in the air as if he were a wet cat.*

"What you need to do is learn how to behave, doll. Maybe then I would be more lenient about letting you leave without being under my supervision."

*The ginger said before walking towards the bedroom and dropping the male into the bad and slipping into the man's lap, straddling him in the bed while his gloved hand either held a wine bottle or was tracing the jaw line of th male beneath him.

"Besides... You know what happened the last time you misbehaved, doll."

Chuuya said as he took a sip of his wine before placing a kiss to the man's cheek; His eyes sneakily stealing glances at the chain that was still connected to the bed.*

"Whatever! This is why you failed go become the better Ed-Sheeran you Ayano ripoff!!"

.

.

.

"Would you shut up already?"

"I hope your motorcycle crashes next time you're out and you die!"

[dearlymrme]

Hello! Could you do 35 (from the prompt list) with Copia? 💙

The way you write each of the boys feels so accurate- I come back to your blog and re-read your hcs and get so giddy whenever I get a notification that you had posted 💙

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoy it and thanks for the ask.

Make 'Em Laugh (Copia x Reader)

Copia x Reader || Dad Jokes Should Be Their Own Warning || Oral Sex

It's a casual afternoon. Both you and Copia sit in his room on his couch. You sitting at one end with your Switch. He plays his Gameboy, laying on the other end with back against the armrest and socked feet just grazing your leg.

You simply enjoy each others company as you both do your own thing. You hear the tunes of Tetris from his device as you play a new game that had just released, one you had been looking forward to all year.

Then you hear it, a small and fauxly innocent snicker.

"No." You flat out deny. But your order goes ignored and the snickering continues. You take a deep and slow breath through your nostrils, praying for patience.

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, but the librarian told me to take it out."

You groan, hanging your head and tap your Switch against it. And by giving him his desired reaction he opens the floodgates.

"You know why you shouldn't go for a cheap circumcision? Because they're nothing but a ripoff." His delivery, choked on his own laughter, makes you close your eyes as you thin your mouth into a firm line, trying not to laugh at his horrible dad jokes.

No, you would not give him that satisfaction.

"Copia."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day." He laughs as you give a pathetic whine.

You settle at him with eyes begging for mercy.

"Please stop."

Only to be met with the tip of his tongue peaking from between his lips and a blown raspberry.

"Make me."

You toss your Switch to the side and quickly slink into his lap. His own Gameboy falls to the floor as he cinches his hands around your hips.

"Did you hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter? Pretty nuts, right?" You quickly attack his lips that despite his laughter he eagerly returns.

Whether he gets you to laugh or not, it's always a win for him.

The kiss is desperate. Your tongue flickering against his that he graciously returns before sliding his hands from around your hips to your backside and squeezing your ass. His dick leaps against your mounds, steadily getting harder.

As you break for air he smiles against your jaw.

"Did I tell you the joke about the truck?" You groan in frustration at failing to get him to stop before deciding to bring out the big guns. That didn't work. it was time to do the thing that always works. Slapping his hands away from your rear, you travel down his body. "It's only semi-ah!" He hiccups as you pull down both his sweatpants and underwear to get at him.

"Your cock is only 'semi-hard.'" You respond with a snicker of your own before your on him. His dick is thick enough that there's a small pain in your jaw as you open to accommodate him. Half flaccid, though he does down your throat easily.

Copia hisses, hands fisting your hair as you lap your tongue against the head of his cock, savoring the salty taste, before devouring him completely. And there is no slow with you this time. You quickly start to bob your head and take him deeper with each pump.

"A...peanut walks in-fuck!!" He coughs as one of your hands reaches past his cock to squeeze at his sack. Your thumb brushes his testicles gently, as though asking forgiveness.

His hips start to rock along with your sucks as his eyes nearly roll as you pull off and flick your tongue around the bulbous head of his dick, flitting across his urethra and pressing into it. His jokes have turned to moans, and snickers have tuned into half stuttered begs.

"Close." Is his only warning before your hand squeezes him at the base and travels up his shaft, and his legs lock. You smirk as you see the skin of his lower stomach quiver before you expertly milk a jet of cum from his cock.

You immediately wrap your lips around his head and lathe your tongue against the underside of his gland as he releases into your mouth. You hear the cushions of the couch strain against his grip as he holds on for dear life.

It's quick, probably the fastest you've gotten him to cum to date, and as you swallow his release and pull of his cock you see him leaned back against the couch with his head nearly hanging over the armrest, his eyes closed and lips parted to a soft groan.

"Knew this would shut you up."

[slutdge]

101 sludge metal band recommendations

'cause all I ever see is people talking about the same 5 sludge bands on tumblr, I thought I’d make a list of some lesser-known/underrated stuff.

tried to include a little description/synopsis for most of them so you can decide if it might be for you or not and a link to one of their releases for you to check out because its a very long list. I’ve compiled everything here into a youtube playlist if you’d prefer to listen that way.

Black Market Ministry - harsh, raw and dark, if you like Eyehategod and Buzzov•en you should have a good time with them.

Drip - features members of Eyehategod, if you like Eyehategod you’ll probably like this

Grim Earth - almost powerviolece-y, newer band but reminiscent of old school sludge

Gloomy Sunday - almost like a mix of Electric Wizard, Crowbar and Eyehategod

Leak - I’d recommend them if you’re a fan of Acid Bath and Alice In Chains

13 - One of Liz Buckingham’s bands before she joined Electric Wizard, grim, grating, everything sludge should be.

Christbait - if you like Fudge Tunnel’s Hate Songs in E Minor definitely give them a try

Aragorn - sludgey death metal, good if you like Edge of Sanity

Leechmilk - if you like Buzzov•en you’ll probably dig them

Christworm - blackened sludge, check them out if you like Haarp

Sourvein - check them out if you like Electric Wizard, one of my absolute favorite bands on this list

Creep Diets - aggressive and grim, good if you like Fudge Tunnel and Eyehategod

Factor 8 - sludge with groove metal elements

Outlaw Order - features members of Eyehategod and sounds similar

Drained - good if you like Stressball and Crowbar

God’s Iron Tooth - good if you like Infant Slug and Eyehategod

Scumchrist - good if you like Eyehategod and Superjoint

Charger - good if you like 16

Graveslime - good if you like Eyehategod

Dugdemona - check them out if you like Acid Bath

Gnasch - sludge with hints of death and black metal

Hawg Jaw - features members of Eyehategod and Soilent Green, if you like those bands you should like them

Slugs - Crowbar before they were called Crowbar

Never - face-ripping raw sludge, features members of Eyehategod and 13

Fistula - good if you like Eyehategod

Golgotha - Acid Bath before they were called Acid Bath, a few of their songs ended up making it onto When The Kite String Pops

Infant Slug - old school sludge-death 

Shrüm - cool industrial-sludge band, features Audie Pitre of Acid Bath

Four Days To Burn - good if you like Eyehategod

Ordeal - good if you like Infant Slug and Haarp

Frogskin - good if you like Haarp

Bottom Feeder - good if you like Eyehategod

Woorms - commonly criticized for being a Melvins ripoff and I can’t really argue with that, but they’re still good

Grief - more grim and miserable old school sludge

Dyevyat Gram 

Abuse - sludge with some death metal elements

A Horse Called War - good if you like Eyehategod and Leechmilk

Axehandle - good if you like Outlaw Order

Toadliquor - despairing and gloomy sludge, a little similar to Eyehategod’s really early stuff

Big Frank - good if you like Down and Crowbar

Choke - sludge with groove metal elements

Haarp - sludge with black and death metal

Eternal Witch 

Lord By Fire - good if you like Eyehategod

Greenmachine

Stressball

Addicted - sludgey death metal

Ghostsmoker - good if you like Thou

Gemini Lounge - good if you like Abuse

Saints of Pain

Rabies Caste 

Brainoil - good if you like Eyehategod

Cavity 

Shallow North Dakota

Goblinsmoker - good if you like Electric Wizard and Thou

Sludgehook

Drug Problem

Slaves of Freedom 

Within Rage

Crone - good if you like Soilent Green and Stressball

Madcastle - sludge with groove metal elements

Third Degree Burnout 

Bowel

Dysphoria

Edible

Baptizer

Another State of Mind

Hobnail

Token Tantrum

Falkirk - good if you like Stressball

Stinky Humans Abuse to Subsist - you’ll definitely like them if you like Eyehategod and Buzzov•en

Demise - sludgey death metal

Marks of Sin - good if you like Infant Slug

Medicine Noose

Deep Tomb

Cower - good if you like Grief

OfHisOwnHand

Mange

Abandon

Love Your Witch - thrashy sludge, good if you like Corrosion Of Conformity

Dead By Dawn

Second To None - 90′s sludgey death metal from Japan

Facedowninshit

Seven Foot Spleen 

Beggar - good if you’re into stuff like Indian Handcrafts/Motherslug/Thou

Sloth 

Guilt Trip - good if you like Soilent Green

Eyehatelucy

Garadama

Wuzor

Porn - good if you like 16

Sea of Deprivation - comparable to Dystopia

Halfway to Gone - good if you like Corrosion Of Conformity

The Bodybag Romance - grindcore-y sludge

Meth Drinker - good if you like Weedeater and Grief

Meth Messiah

Mutual Aid 

Pissbucket - good if you like Black Market Ministry

Evil Cosby

Aaching 

Carkoon - post-metal sludge band, good if you’re looking for something a little more chill

[devildomcuties]

Scream

pairing: Lucifer x f. reader

genre: established relationship, smut [18+]

summary: Lucifer orders a special treat on Akuzon for Halloween

wc: 1.6k

warnings: ghostface roleplay, pet names (baby, babe), use of good girl, knife play, blood, hair pulling, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), cunt slapping, unprotected sex, creampie, cum play

date: October 31, 2023

“Akuzon delivery!” Asmo calls as he scoops the packages off the front porch of the House of Lamentation. He barely gets to shut the front door before Levi is standing in front of him.

“Give me! Give me! The next box set of the new anime ‘Things I Did In The Dark To Be Suspicious But Not Too Suspicious In Catching My Vampire Neighbors’ just arrived, and I’m going to binge it this weekend!” Levi exclaims as he sorts through the packages to pick out the ones with his name.

“Watch it! You’re gonna break my nails, and I just got them done!” Asmo chastises as he moves his hands out of the way.

“Oh?” Levi pauses, ignoring Asmodeus. “This one’s not ours.”

“Hm? Is it Satan’s?” Asmo asks as he leans in closer to read the name of the package. He’s surprised to see it belongs to the eldest. “Lucifer, huh? Wonder what he ordered.”

“I’ll take that!” Mammon smirks as he plucks the package from his younger brothers before they can protest. He’s about to rip open the box when a terrifying growl fills the room.

“MAMMON!” Lucifer bellows and Mammon shivers as he drops the package and raises his hands.

“I wasn’t doing nothing,” he lies as he scrambles out of the room. Lucifer rolls his eyes, covering his face with a gloved hand. 

“Levi, Asmo, next time please take my packages to my bedroom. Mammon can’t be trusted with my belongings,” Lucifer sighs heavily as he takes his package and leaves his two brothers at the door.

“Halloween is just around the corner and Lord Diavolo has decided to throw a festival. I have taken the liberty of volunteering all of you to man the booths and rides,” Lucifer informs the members of RAD. 

“Will there be food? I’d like to be at that booth,” Beel pleads.

“We don’t need you eating everything,” Satan grumbles. 

“You’ve all been assigned a spot. Lucifer and Y/N will make sure you’re at your spots,” Barbatos hands out a sheet of paper with everyone’s assigned booth or ride. Asmo and Levi grumble to themselves, asking Lucifer if they can trade. 

“Do I have to attend?” Belphie asks with a frown. He’s not too enthused about wasting time around the entire school when he could snuggle up to his favorite pillow in his bed. 

“Yes, the master requires it,” Barbatos states as he turns to take his leave.

“What a ripoff,” Mammon groans.

Lucifer stands in front of his mirror, turning to his side to admire his reflection, though his Ghostface mask makes it hard. He removes it but takes it with him in his search for you. 

He’s made sure his younger siblings are at their booths. He’s assigned Barbatos and Simeon to keep a close eye on them lest you be interrupted.

“Babe?” he calls when he knocks on your bedroom door. It only takes a second for you to open it. Lucifer is breathless when he sees your outfit. His jaw drops open, and his cock twitches in his pants. 

“You look marvelous,” he admits, ignoring the heat that rushes to his cheeks. You thank him, taking his hand to pull him into your bedroom.

Lucifer wastes no time kissing you, knowing each moment without kissing you is a moment ruined by his siblings. His hands grip your hips, pulling you to him as his lips press against yours, hands moving from your lips to your neck.

“Come closer,” he mutters against your lips. 

“Fuck,” your curse, spine tingling as you pull him closer. His heart beats along with yours as you deepen the kiss, making him melt and forget all his worries. With your tongue meeting his, Lucifer forgets everything, the kiss deepening and his cock hardening.

Your hands explore his body, enjoying the moans he releases as you push him onto your bed. Slowly, you climb over him, pinning his hands over his head, only for him to pin you under him. His name escapes you. Breath caught in your throat as your legs wrap around him.

“You have thirty seconds to run,” he states firmly, and you panic, looking down at your thigh-high socks. They wouldn't last a second on the HOL floors. You were fucked.

“Going!” you scream as you take off, regardless. You run, trying to find a spot to hide, socks gliding along the floor as Lucifer goes room to room searching for you while wearing his mask.

“Baby!” He sings as he approaches, footsteps heavy as they grow closer. A tingle runs down your spine as he nears. Your heart skips a beat when he reaches you.

“There you are!” he exclaims as he wraps his arms around you to keep you from escaping. “Come here!”

“I’m here. I’m here!” you groan in response, gasping when the sharp edge of the knife meets your chest.

“Thought so,” he grins maliciously. “You’re so easy to find.”

“Only because I wanted you to find me,” You chuckle as the knife digs a little deeper into your skin, drawing blood. 

Lucifer’s lips twitch as the smell of your blood reaches him. His mask sits on the top of his head. A groan escapes him as his lips meet the side of your neck. He rubs your hips. Blood coats his blade generously and his cock twitches as he lets the knife fall to the floor.

Slowly, your lips meet his. Lucifer moans, his hands gripping you tighter. 

“Let’s go to my quarters,” he states as he leads you to his bedroom. 

Your back meets his soft, giant mattress and you melt underneath him. 

Lucifer wastes no time in climbing on top of you. He removes his mask, setting it on the floor. You beg him to put it back on and he smirks as he follows your wishes. 

“Got a kink for Ghostfsce, huh?” He chuckles. 

“Shhh,” you hush him but he puts the mask back on and holds your wrists over your head. 

You melt beneath him, legs wrapped around his hips. He releases your wrists to palm himself over his pants before he’s stripping as quickly as possible.

Lucifer uses his nails to rip your lingerie to pieces, smirking when you lie naked beneath him.  However, he leaves your socks on. As much as he wants to leave the mask on, it will get in the way of the things he wants to do to you, so he removes it, setting it off to the side.

Lucifer kisses down your body, ending when he’s between your thighs. Your hand weaves in his black hair as his tongue meets your wet slit. He groans at the first taste. His eyes flutter shut as he swirls his tongue around your clit and his name escapes your lips. 

With a strong grasp, he places your legs on either side of his shoulders before dragging your hips toward him. He feasts hungrily, lips covered in your arousal as his fingers push inside you, curling and pumping in and out as his tongue works your clit. 

Your breathing grows ragged, your body covered in a sheen of sweat as you pull his hair and try to fuck yourself on his tongue and fingers. 

Lucifer growls from deep in his chest. His piercing eyes make you stop all movement and you whimper when his hand comes down to smack your cunt. 

“Lucifer!” You exclaim, back arching off the bed as he ignores your cry and returns to his task. 

Sighing in contentment, you beg him for more until your thighs are quivering in his hold and his salacious smirk makes you come undone. His name rolls off your tongue repeatedly as your eyes flutter shut and you orgasm, soaking his lips and tongue. 

“Fuck,” he curses, licking his lips and then his fingers. 

He wastes no time in lining himself up at your entrance. The fat head of his cock rubs against your clit, then downward to your folds, coating his cock in your essence. 

“You take my cock so well,” Lucifer grunts, his hair falling over his eyes as he admires your pretty face. His gaze moves down your body until it lands where your bodies meet. You look down, moaning when his fat cock splits you open once again. 

Lucifer chuckles darkly, licking his lips as he fucks your harder, deeper until your sweet cries are filling the room. Your nails dig into his back, pulling him close as his hips slam against yours. 

“Lucifer!” You whimper, clenching around him. He nearly loses it then, his face buried in the column of your throat as he goes deeper. You feel all of him deep in your stomach and it’s enough to make you cum. 

Your moans are lewd and nearly deafening. It spurs Lucifer to keep going, his hands squeezing your hips as you beg for him to make you cum again. 

Lucifer doesn’t need to be told twice. He growls as he fucks you, your name tumbling from his lips as you cream all over his cock. Your thighs shake, your socks making you even hotter as they rub against his slim waist. 

“That’s it, baby. Make a mess on my cock. Cream it like a good girl,” he grunts, his orgasm shortly behind. 

However, he doesn’t stop fucking you until he’s too sensitive to go on. He pulls out slowly, your legs still spread open for him as your cum and his dribbled out slowly. 

Not wanting to waste it, he pushes it back in with his fingers, smirking when you cry out for him. He sticks his fingers in his mouth, sucking them fry before he lies beside you in his bed. 

You cling to him, cuddling into his chest as his arms wrap around you. He knows you’ll both have to join the festivities soon. His brothers will wonder where the two of you are and come searching, thus interrupting this moment of privacy. 

Lucifer kisses you one more time, placing his mask back on, and says, “Happy Halloween, baby.”

[abbatoirablaze]

The Debauchery Of Captain America, Chapter 5

Word Count:  916

Dear Journal,

This stupid thing feels like a dear john love story…you know one of those horrible rom-com’s that people find in the three dollar movie bin at Walmart.  Add in some ripoff fifty shades of grey and I feel like that’s where we’re sitting. 

Last night was miserable…not the part where Steve gave me endless orgasms for a few consecutive hours (my pussy both loves and hates me for that), but the part where Steve left me naked in the living room…

Part of me still can’t believe that happened.  I mean…who does that?  What guy stops a girl from giving them a blow job?  I tried to explain that he wasn’t hurting me, but he wouldn’t even let me speak.  Maybe it wasn’t that.  Maybe it was something else…I mean, I thought he liked it when I started, but maybe I was wrong.

☹  I must have really been bad at it…but in all fairness that was the first time I’d really given one…ever.

But no self-pity.  Today is a new day…the beginning of our supposed month-long celebration of our anniversary that ends in us saying that we made it to a year.   Well, here goes nothing.  This is our first day of the month here, and I guess there’s no better way to spend the month of February…

Oh fuck…Valentine’s day…Steve and I started dating February 24th…our first Valentine’s Day is here.  Oh fuc-

I dropped my pen and jumped nearly a foot in the air when I saw Steve coming into the kitchen out of my peripherals.  The journal went skittering to the floor with the pen and Steve raised a brow at me, before a frown perched itself on his lips.  I could see the sadness on his features.  He thought I was afraid of him.

“Bunny…I didn’t mean to hur-“

“Stop!” I commanded, not wanting to hear the apology again, flashbacks to last night quickly popping back in my head, “you didn’t hurt me, Steve…”

“Bunny, you were crying!”

“Because your cock is fucking huge.”

Steve paled, and then blushed, looking down at his sleep pants where his massive cock was hidden, “(Y/N).  I-I’m not that big…”

“Yes…yes you are,” I pointed out to my boyfriend, “I’ve had sex with a few guys, Steve…and none of them compared to you.  Honestly, I don’t know how you hide it in that tactical suit.”

Steve blushed an even darker shade of red, “sweetheart…I-“

“And about last night, Steve…I loved last night.  You didn’t hurt me.”

His eyes shot up to mine and he looked at me, “really?”

I nodded and grabbed the journal and pen, before tossing it to the counter and turning my attention back to him, “honestly…before you abandoned me in the living room…it was really sexy…and I started giving you a blowjob because I wanted you to know how much I want to be intimate with you…I just don’t want to push you beyond what’s comfortable for you.”

Steve got the smallest of smiles on his face, “y-you really think so?  You think that what we did last night was…sexy?”

“God yes,” I all but moaned.  Steve blushed, taking a few steps towards me, “I just wish I could have finished what I started…”

“You know what I’ve been thinking about all night?” he asked in a teasing tone.  I felt my thighs clenching together, and I noticed his nose twitch.  I blushed, knowing that he must have caught on to my quick arousal.  His eyes fluttered closed for a moment and I felt his hands tensing around my waist. 

“Wh-what were you thinking about Steve?”

“How beautiful you are,” he purred softly, his eyes opening once again as he began reaching up to stroke my cheek, “how today would be…seeing you cooking us breakfast, writing in that little journal…it is turning me on!”

“I-it is?”

He nodded, swallowing down his nervousness.  He gave a shaky inhale, his eyes fluttering closed again as he nosed my jaw, “It makes me think about bending you over this counter…taking you right here…”

“S-Steve…”

“I-I read more into some things,” he began slowly, “once I went to my room…looked up some kinks…I-I like dirty talk…”

“I think I like hearing it from you!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I smiled softly.  Steve gently kissed me.  And as he did, I felt his arms loop under my legs as he lifted me onto the counter, “you know what else I was thinking about?”

“Hmmm?” “

“How you’d feel,” Steve purred, his fingers gently pulling down my shorts.  I moaned as the granite kissed my bare bottom.  Steve stood between my thighs, holding them open.  I moaned again as his fingers gently ran over my mound and already glistening folds, “so wet for me, bunny.”

“Steve…”

“I want to watch that pretty little pussy suck my fingers in,” he groaned, his mouth parting slightly as he slipped a thick digit slowly into me.  My toes curled as he quickly added a second, the stretch making me arch my back, “oh god…don’t stop.”

I pulled his face to mine as his fingers slowly worked me over, my hips reaching out to rock against him until my core was bumping against his palm, “Steve.”

“That’s right, (Y/N),” Steve cooed, “moan my name, bunny.  Tell me what you want.”

“You,”I purred in response, arching even more as he scissored his fingers inside of me.  My hands gripped his shoulders tightly as my hips rocked against him, “oh fuck, Steve…right there.”

Chapter 6

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @sebsgirl71479, @melissad1974, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

[cumaeansibyl]

Today I learned a new word: tokusatsu, lit. "special effects," the genre of Japanese live-action media with lots of practical effects. We don't normally use such a broad categorization in American-influenced media but honestly it makes sense to me -- the lines between like super sentai, daikaiju, and other science fiction are very permeable, and the same could be said of American-influenced sci-fi, creature features, and superhero media. We just don't think about it that way.

(I don't like the term Western here, or anywhere really. And I know the Brits and the Italians in particular are doing their own things, but also they are very interested in playing to US markets. The sheer number of Jaws, Star Wars, and Alien ripoffs that came out of Italy ca. 1975-1990 I think proves my point here.)

Anyway we are watching The Green Slime which is absolutely full of space miniatures and also Luciana Paluzzi in Dazzler's silver jumpsuit so we're having a marvelous time

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/18/2023: LINK (1986)

It was very upsetting to me to learn that Richard Franklin's LINK was the first of the killer lab chimp movies from the late '80s. In my mind, it's like, MONKEY SHINES was both novel and really pretty good; SHAKMA was not that good, but it's inoffensive and has a fun premise; and then um...LINK also exists. Even though I watch nonsense like this voraciously, something in me said, "Well, I know about SHAKMA, and that's probably the same as knowing about LINK," and then I just never followed up. Turns out that LINK predated them all, and it is also maddeningly stupid and insane.

I was somewhat relieved to learn that the director started thinking about this 1986 movie in the late '70s as "a sort of JAWS with chimps". It's much easier for me to think of LINK as another JAWS ripoff than it is for me to conceive of it as an original work that inspired the vastly superior MONKEY SHINES (1988) and the dismissable SHAKMA (1990), whose main crime is just being really half-baked. LINK is about how like...so Elizabeth Shue plays a zoology student who asks famous professor Terrance Stamp if she can be his assistant, and he's like "Uh can you cook and clean?" and she pretty much says "Well I'm a woman so duh, yes" and then without any further discussion she moves into his English cottage waaaaaaaaaay the fuck out in the middle of nowhere and just starts cleaning up after him and his dirty, horny, violent chimps. And you're like, doesn't she have class? How can she be literally shoveling shit at this guy's extremely remote house with no car and a phone that barely works? Why didn't she ask this guy what she'd be doing there? Why didn't he TELL her what she'd be doing there? What IS he doing there actually? He's vaguely doing IQ tests on the animals, but he's also just quickly selling them off, like they're all used up already, so...what was the point of this again?

Link himself is an ex-circus monkey whose main thing is lighting fires and smoking cigars, which Elizabeth Shue haughtily objects to--but how can we have an anti-animal abuse statement in a movie where an animal is actively smoking a cigar? At least it feels like pretty much everybody is being abused in this movie, since Mme Shue then has one of the strangest and most unnecessary nude scenes I've ever seen in my life, when Link walks in on her getting ready to take a bath and she just stands about six inches from him letting him ogle and breasts and crotch. And I mean there's no directing this ape, it's pretty much a given that if you stand a naked woman in front of him he's going to stare, and he does, and I really had to wonder if there was any discussion about this scene, if there was any protest, if there wasn't a better way to squeeze nudity into a movie where there's both a boyriend and a dashing older mentor, if it's really absolutely essential for Elizabeth Shue to drop trow and awkwardly stand very close to an ape who she is supposedly unhappy to see, for what feels like a long time.

This is one of those movies in which something ridiculous and confusing happens so frequently that it's really hard to generalize about the experience of watching it. To give you a useful idea of what it's like, I'd have to list almost everything that happens in it, but unfortunately (fortunately?) this has been the speed run season of Blogtober, and that's not in the mail. So I guess I'm going to call it a night on LINK, because I have now seen it once for the first time, once to refresh my memory on what I wanted to say about it, once to torture my unfortunate husband because I didn't want to be alone about it, and...that's more times than I've seen some movies I've really like! So I'll just encourage you to drive your own self crazy with it, and finish up by saying that I found myself wondering which was more uncomfortable for Elizabeth Shue: the apesploitation scene from LINK, or the assault toward the end of LEAVING LAS VEGAS, which I'd imagine the cast and crew at least took seriously? We may never know, but at least now I have an excuse to surface one of my favorite moments from the excellent series High Maintenance. I'm eternally grateful to whoever uploaded this to YouTube, because now I don't have to be the only person in the world walking around singing this song to myself on a regular basis:

And that's all I have to say about that. I'll just add that while I was scrounging for images for this post, I found this Alamy stock photo from the scene where Elizabeth Shue is rescued by Link from one of the many vicious dogs that surround Terrance Stamp's place. This is such a weird, non-representative still from that movie, but it's kind of cool just because it's such an odd choice. The End!

[aro-throughyourchest]

Uninvited Guests

Word count: 1976 Jack-Manifold Centric/Bitter Duo Centric Summary: Hey, remember that one time I made a hypothetical where Jack threw a party and only Tommyinnit showed up? Well I hate myself!

He did everything right.

He really did.

There were decorations everywhere; the invitations had the location, time, coordinates; he even brought fucking balloons. They were childish as fuck, but he bought them 2 silver ingots for a box and 1 diamond for a pump. (Bit of a ripoff if you asked him for one fucking pump.)

The food was on the table, (Niki made cupcakes, you bastards,) the table was set, everything was there; all they had to do was show. Not even bring a present! Just show up.

So why was Jack Manifold standing there like the dumbest motherfucker in the world with his shitty balloon in hand staring at an empty room with no one but Niki?

“Jack, I-”

“Don’t.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them, and he could see the resignation on Niki’s face. He didn’t mean to say it like that, but Prime, wasn’t this the saddest sight?

He could already see Niki starting to open her mouth, and he already had a hand up before she could say something.

“They’re not coming. I can already tell you.”

Niki waved her hands hesitantly, “Well, maybe if we just give it a little more time, they-”

“Just let it go.” Jack collapsed into his chair, covering his face with his hands. The balloon floated up to the wooden ceiling. “I want to let it go.”

Niki looked on with concern and soon, disappointment. Jack couldn’t stay mad at Niki but fuck. He knew in his fucked-up little heart that no one ever show, he knew this was going to happen- But admitting... That for five seconds- He felt optimistic? For five seconds, when he handed out the letters and he saw genuine intrigue in someone else’s eyes or consideration, he felt the lightest flutter of stupid hope- Of maybe a chance of them showing up? The shame- Of just having hope.

He needed a drink.

“Jack, no, you are not drinking on your birthday-” Niki responded and chased after him.

Jack reached through the cabinets, and Niki quickly took down his arm. They made eye contact, Jack finally seeing the fire in her eyes, and he dragged a hand over his glasses.

“I’ll be fine, I just- I fucking hate this, Niki.”

“I know...”

“You said they would show.”

“I know...”

“And no one’s fucking her-”

Jack stopped and turned to the door with Niki at the slightest creak, watching as it popped open. Jack’s jaw hung open while Niki’s eyes lit up.

A mess of blonde hair stuck its head through the opening, the owner bringing an invitation with it.

“This is Manifoldland, coordinates 24, 63, 89, innit?”

“NO! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Jack!” Niki snapped, slapping him lightly on the arm as Jack gestured very angrily to the ‘intruder.’

“Oh good, because I was worried this was Jack Manifold’s party, the party I was invited to, and not someone else’s.”

Tommy plucked a balloon from the stand Jack set up and strolled over, placed a present in Jack’s arms and strolled over to the table to take a seat.

Jack gestured to Niki wildly. “What the fuck am I supposed to do about him?”

She looked over to Tommy quickly before dragging Jack out into the hallway. “I know you hate him-”

“I don’t see why you stopped, frankly.”

“He showed up, Jack.”

Jack realized in that moment what she meant, but quickly replaced the idea with ambivalence.

“So?”

Niki smiled and took his hand in hers. “Can you give him a chance?” She asked.

Jack paused.

“He showed up, Jack. Doesn’t that mean something?”

She motioned to the present, now sitting on the counter.

“He brought you a gift too.”

A shudder sent up Jack’s spine.

Yeah. Gifts.

“But...“

“I’m not saying forgive, or even let go of your history-” She made a face. “I know how hard that is.”

Jack bit his lip.

“But you could try to tolerate each other.”

He sighed, spying a quick glance at Tommy and immediately furrowing his brow. “I don’t want him here.”

Niki furrowed her own brow. “Well, he’s here now, Jack. You can kick him out or... Tolerate him for a couple minutes.”

She pulled him back into the main room, where Tommy seemed to be playing a joyous game of bap the balloon. Classy.

“What if I don’t want to do this?”

“It’s pretty hard to split a cake between two people, Jack,” Niki joked, but the intent was the same.

He sighed. “Fine. But if he starts acting stupid, I’m kicking him out.”

Niki nodded and still noticed the tension on Jack’s face, placing a hand on his back. She could not deny this was strange.

“So- What? What do I do?” “Well, what did you plan to do if someone came?”

Jack thought for a minute and ran to the back of the room, pulling something out of a closet.

“Why didn’t you just leave the games out?” Tommy interjected. Jack internally worried about how much he heard.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

Maybe he thought conversation would be a good ice breaker; it would not be a good ice breaker with Tommy Innit.

Jacks brought out a box of-... Fuck sakes.

“Did you seriously buy a game of fucking Jacks?”

“Did you seriously buy a game of fucking-” Jack mocked. “Fuck you, I know how to play! That’s all that matters! Don’t be a dickhead.”

He slammed the box on the ground and dumped the jacks and ball out, quickly realizing Jack was the only one who knew how to play jacks. Fuck you.

He took a singular jack in hand and gestured to it.

“Okay we know what this is, right?”

“A jack.” Tommy pointed out, Niki snickering beside him.

Jack falsely laughed. “You’re lucky I don’t lob this at your head.”

“I’m lucky Niki Nihachu’s right there.”

Tommy smugly pointed to an unimpressed Niki Nihachu.

Jack cleared his throat and nodded, “Right.”

He shot nervous eyes over to Niki and continued with the game.

“So... How you play is right-”

As he explained the rules, Tommy seemed determined to butt in and make Jack look silly, but once the game began- He looked more and more relaxed, almost rubbing off on Jack. It was almost fun. No, that couldn’t be right.

Tommy shot his arms in the air with a loud, “YEAHHHHH!!”

“I’m so good at this game!”

Jack groaned. He was so fucking bad at this game.

Even Niki had a good lead with her, getting all the way to ten jacks relatively quickly.

Jack...

Not so well.

“How am I dead last?”

“Get good, Manifold,” Tommy gloated and wrote a new score for himself on the board.

“It’s almost like you’ve played before!”

Something akin to dread filled Tommy’s face as Niki raised a hand. “I’ve never played before.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said. “Maybe you’re just bad at it.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Jack didn’t fail to notice the way his voice shook and the way Tommy almost immediately went back to character.

“Come on, Jack,” Tommy said, tossing Jack the ball. “At least catch up to Niki.”

“Hey!” Niki punched him in the arm. He didn’t flinch. Was that a good thing?

With a quick hand, Jack threw the ball and...

“Fuck yeah, six!”

He threw the ball again and grabbed the other four, and Tommy uncapped the marker.

“So Jack’s new score, with that six, is... 14.

“But you’re close and that’s good!”

Jack sighed, and Niki patted him on the shoulder.

“Alright, Niki’s go-”

Niki cheered. “10, oh my gosh, 10!”

She giddily looked over to Tommy who put down the whiteboard. “Well played, Niki Nihachu. Well played..."

She giggled, and even Jack couldn’t find it in himself to be mad. Why was he happy? He hated Tommy. And yet he was having fun. 

Niki pushed herself up from her place on the floor with a smile. “Alright, I’ll go grab the cake.”

That left Tommy and Jack.

Without Niki there to balance Jack out-

“So. Why’d you come?”

Not picking up or not caring about the hostility, Tommy answered.“A party sounded fun. Spend all my time stuck inside anyway, might as well.”

His mouth formed a taut line. He waved his hand, and it went away. “Plus you said Niki would be baking and that’s never not a bonus.” He plucked a cupcake from the table behind him to prove his point.

Niki brought out the cake before any more questions could be asked. “Thank you for coming, Tommy, otherwise, me and Jack would’ve had to eat all this by ourselves.”

It wasn’t as much a problem as she let on, but Tommy took the gratitude anyway. She struck a flame over the candles, and they began to sing.

It was clear Tommy, nor Jack, very well knew the words, but it helped that Niki coached them along.

She cut three slices of cake and passed it out to the two; Jack didn’t notice the tremor in Tommy’s hand as he lifted the fork and... “I’ll.” He set it down. “I’ll wait to eat.”

“Oh!” Niki smiled. “That’s okay- You’ve kinda been eating all our snacks anyway.”

They laughed, and Tommy leaned back in his chair. “I thought this party was gonna turn out shit, you guys aren’t bad hosts. Really.”

“Well, you aren’t a bad guest.”

Jack smiled. “Yeah-” What the fuck was he saying?

Tommy sighed and checked his communicator. “Oh. Tubbo said save him some cake. He’s bringing Michael over.”

That got Jack’s attention.

“He is?”

He didn’t mean to say that as loudly as he did.

The party went. Swimmingly after that.

There’s a better word, but Jack really couldn’t describe it. Turns out, bringing a child wasn’t as grating as Jack expected when he opened the door. They kept Tommy.

And party games were a lot better with more than just three people. Even considering Tubbo’s desire to turn them up to 11 and make them genuinely dangerous. And when all was said and done and the party winded to a close, Jack could confidently say...

“I actually didn’t mind having you over.”

Tommy blinked and rolled his eyes. “Oh thank you for the high honor, Jack. I’m so flattered.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Tommy sighed, grabbing his things. “And maybe I didn’t mind coming over.”

“Oh thank you for the high honor, Tom-” “Fuck you!” Tommy laughed.

“I mean, you got Tubbo to come, which was pretty cool.”

He sat up, watching Niki and Tubbo struggle to get a jacket on Michael.

“Niki enjoyed having you over too,” Jack continued.

“Thanks.”

Tubbo strolled over, jacket now fully on Michael as he fiddled with the zipper.

“We’re gonna head home, it’s getting dark,” he said. Michael responded with a quick, “Baba,” something Jack was pretty sure meant bye-bye, and Tubbo grabbed his things.

They waved goodbye and headed out the door.

Tommy got up and stretched. “I should get going too. Is it alright if I bring a couple of snacks to Shroud?”

Jack held up a hand, and Tommy ran over to the table to start bagging food.

“Thanks for coming,” Niki said, hanging him his coat.

“Really it’s nothing at all.”

That meant more than what he said.

“I know what it feels like when no one shows up, if I could spare that, that’s enough.” Tommy smiled, and before Jack could question, he was out the door.

“...Bye Tommy.”

Niki sat down next to him with a sigh. “Well you gave him a chance.” She leaned against him. “Did you hate it?”

“I guess I didn’t.”

Tommy pulled his coat tighter around him.

There were decorations everywhere; the invitations had the location, time, coordinates; he even brought fucking cake. The food was on the table, the table was set, everything was there; all they had to do was show. Just show up.

So why was Tommyinnit sitting at an empty table with only Dream?

[pidgefudge]

2, 18, and 28! For spooky asks!

just answered 28 but i will do the other two!!

2. horror movies or silly cartoon spooks?

silly cartoon spooks 100% ive never actually seen a horror horror movie (unless you count like. that one jaws ripoff. i don't think of jurassic park as a horror movie but i guess that could be argued idk)

18. favorite spooky season smell?

hmmm this is difficult bc a bunch of the typical ones (pumpkin spice, gingerbread is sorta autumn?, most food-related ones basically) make me feel sick :(( that said i love the smell of a yard of fallen leaves and also the air of halloween night just Feels Different