#jeff atkins fanfiction

[toppersjeep]

Jeff Atkins (When You’re Gone)

Summary: After Jeff dies you feel lost without him. You try to move on but it’s hard for you. So when they honor him for the team you decide to speak about him. You also sometimes see Jeff just like Clay sees Hannah. Who doesn’t love a ghost of there ex?

this song inspired this

Your POV

“Hey sis are you ready for today” Clay asked me. But I pretended to ignore him. I wasn’t ready. My boyfriend was dead. This year would’ve been our senior year together. Only because he was failing classes. But part of me thinks he wanted to stay back so I didn’t have to do it alone.

But now he was gone. Part of me still felt like he was here with me. I missed him more than anything in this world. I’d give anything to see his smile.

“Y/N we gotta get going” Clay said as I started at a photo of Jeff and I. A tear rolled down my cheek. “Yeah Clay” I said wiping a tear. “You don’t have to speak you know I can say you were sick” Clay said. “No no it’s okay” I said setting the picture back on my nightstand. “Alright then” Clay said.

I then looked at the necklace Jeff had given me with his initials and a little baseball bat. But now beside it was his class ring. I never took it off for anything. At least this way he was still here.

“I’m coming” I said grabbing Jeff’s letterman jacket and putting it on over my dress. Clay and I drove to the school. We parked and went inside the school. It was in the gym. I walked over to the principal were he wanted me.

Clay and our parents sat on the bleachers. Jeff’s parents sat beside them too. The principal of course said a couple words. I just sat there thinking about him. And the first time we met. Was actually when clay tutored him.

Flashback

“I brought my sister to help since she’s so good at science” Clay said as I sat down beside Jeff. “Wow there’s no way she’s your sister she’s wow” Jeff said I blushed. “And you are so” Jeff said I laughed.

“Very funny Jeff” Clay said. “So what’s your name beautiful” Jeff said I blushed. “Y/N” I said he smiled. “I love that name” he said. “Alright enough flirting” Clay said.

And after that he got my number and we talked for hours on end. He eventually asked me out on a date. Even though clay hated the idea. Eventually he warmed up to us dating.

He was my first kiss my first everything. But I never thought I’d meet someone like him. He’s perfect.

End of flashback

“And now Y/N Jensen has prepared something in honor of her late boyfriend Jeff” the principal said. I walked up. I then went up to the microphone. I just looked at everyone sitting on the bleachers.

“Jeff… I’m sorry give me a second” I said tearing up. I then pretended he was there in that room like I did sometimes. Maybe it was real and he was there protecting me. “Love it’s okay you can do this deep breaths” Jeff said standing beside me.

Even though he wasn’t there. Part of me felt his presence with me all the time. I took a deep breath and then began to speak again.

“Jeff was one of those people that you met once in a lifetime and we all had the privilege of knowing him” I said. “I had the privilege of knowing him a lot better than all of you” I said tearing up. “Maybe even more than his parents knew” I said.

“I also had the privilege of loving him and being loved by him” I said. “I remember the first time I met Jeff it was in the library” I said. “The first thing he told me was that I was beautiful” I said. “Nobody had ever made me feel as special as he did” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“From that day forward he became the most important person in my life” I said. “We talked every day and night even when I didn’t want to” I said people laughed. “He even tried to teach me how to play baseball but I sucked” I said. “Even though he always told me I didn’t” I said.

“You could’ve easily beat me babe with practice” Jeff said.

“He always told me I could beat him with practice but I know he let me win” I said. “Being loved by Jeff was one of the best feelings in this world” I said. “The way his eyes lit up when he looked at me is something I’ll never forget” I said.

“I remember the night he told me he loved me” I said tearing up. “A girl waits her whole life to hear those words” I said. “We were at the dance in this very gym” I said. “Of course I dragged him to this dance like I always did” I said smiling. “And he came even though he probably would’ve preferred a movie night” I said people smiled.

“We were dancing on this very floor when he told me he loved me” I said. “It was a slow dance and I had my head on his chest and I remember how I felt in that moment” I added.

“So safe and so secure he then kissed my forehead and told me he loved me” I said. “He said “Y/N I’m gonna say something crazy I don’t care if you don’t say it back” and I looked at him” I said. “I then said “Jeff nothing you can say is crazy” I remember looked up at him and he just smiled” I said.

“He then whispered in my ear “Y/N I love you I know that it hasn’t been long but I’m in love with you” I remember feeling butterflies in that moment” I said tearing up. “I thought for once in my life I had my moment” I said.

“I then looked up at him and told him I loved him” I said wiping a tear. “From that moment on I loved Jeff everyday more and more” I said. “He promised me so much more than anyone had before him” I said. “…Jeff was… and is my soulmate and I’d give anything to have him here beside me” I said as tears rolled down my face.

“The night.. Jeff.. passed… before the party we had a conversation about our future this year” I said. “I know it sounds crazy for two kids to be thinking about the future” I said. “But we were in love” I said. “Madly in love” Jeff said. I smiled.

“He told me that he wanted to marry me” I said. “That he knew I was the one for him and there wasn’t anyone else” I said crying. “I said ask me again next year” I said wiping a tear. “And he told me he would little did I know he had the ring there that night” I said.

“I wish I would’ve known and said yes that very night.. I think all the time maybe he’d still be here if I would’ve known” I said. “But.. I do know that he’s still here with us watching over everyone” I said. “Jeff was one of a kind and he’d be so happy that this team won states this year” I said.

“And Jeff if you are somehow hear listening or in heaven I want you to know the answer is yes and it will always be yes” I said tearing up. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about Jeff” I said.

I then stopped speaking and walked away. The principal went back up and spoke. I went outside and sat on a lunch table.

“I’m proud of you” Jeff said sitting beside me. “I wish you were here” I said. “I am here for you always right here” he said pointing at my necklace. “You know what I mean” I said looking at him. “I know baby” he said I looked at him.

“I can’t do this without you” I said. “Hey” he said side hugging me. “Remember what I always told you” Jeff said. “No matter what you’ll always protect me” I said. “That and you look beautiful no matter what” he said I laughed.

“I should’ve said yes that night I’m sorry” I said. “It’s not your fault Y/N don’t blame yourself okay” he said wiping my tears. “I need you” I said. “And I’ll always be here but..” Jeff said. “But what” I said. “You gotta move on eventually” he said looking at me. “I can’t” I said looking at the ring.

“Love.. you will always be my first love too you know that” Jeff said. “There’s nobody else like you” I said. “Really.. what about Scott Reed” Jeff said. “Jeff what about him” I said. “Remember the day you dropped your books and he helped you”Jeff said. “Yeah” I said.

“Or when he asked you for help with the team games” Jeff said. “Jeff I don’t understand” I said. “Or how he checks up on you after the trails or just texts you” Jeff said.

“What are you saying” I said looking at him. He then looked behind me. I heard some footsteps. “Hey I came to check on you” Scott said. Jeff looked at me. “H..Hey” I said Scott said beside me. “Are you okay” Scott asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay” I said. He put an arm around me. “It’s weird without him here but it feels like he’s pushing me towards you” Scott said. “Maybe he is here” I said looking over at him he smiled.

“It’s just like all these things keep happening and I feel like he’s putting us together” Scott said. I rested my head on his shoulder. “Your not like your baseball friends” I said. “Those guys may be my teammates but they are all assholes Jeff wasn’t” Scott said.

“Jeff used to say the same thing about you” I said. “Maybe it’s a sign” Scott said. “So why do you keep appearing every where” I said. “Because I care about you a lot” he said wiping my tears. Just like Jeff used to do for me.

“But why me” I said. “Because your special and Jeff would always tell me that” Scott said. “And I’m starting to see why he loved you so much” Scott said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah so if you are up for it I’d like too…

He began to say I kissed him.

“Prom” I asked. “I was gonna ask you the same thing” Scott said. “So yes” I said. “I’d love to” Scott said. “Told you I got you always” Jeff said to me I smiled. “What are you looking at” Scott said. “The beautiful sunset” I said.

“Hey maybe Jeff is here after all” Scott said. “He is..” I said tearing up. “I’ll always love you” Jeff said. “I love you” I mouthed and he was gone just like that. “So prom” Scott said.

“Oh right my dress is like light purple” I said he smiled.

[audrey-library]

Jeff Atkins Fic Recommendations

Blurbs:

Brother’s Help by @oreostars

Jeff x reader by @luciferlxve

Imagines:

I’ll treat her right by @jeff-deserves-better

Is that a yes? by @jeff-deserves-better

Skittles by @jeff-deserves-better

No big deal by @jeff-deserves-better

Defeated by @jeff-deserves-better

One-Shots:

golden boy by @mightyavngrs

Stop by @xbarrjallenx

Comfort and Moving Forward by @lilxberry

Babies makin’ babies by @nolahxrocks

Sharing is caring - part 1 || Busted - part 2 by @xbarrjallenx

You’re my Forever and I’m Your Forever by @tayrae515imagines

Love Drug by @scottfuckingreed

Quite a Vexer by @xbarrjallenx

Try Again by @mythicalowl

Hidden by @justauthoring

Love Will Save The Day by @jeffatkinsreasons

Boy or Girl by @alisonwritesimagines

I’m pregnant by @killmybadthoughts

Not Even Tired by @justauthoring

Caught by @spreadp0sitivity

First Date by @xbarrjallenx

Beautiful Girl by @xbarrjallenx

[marleyelona]

So, I'm thinking of posting my 13 RW story on here because all the chapters are completed. Would anyone be interested in seeing a Scott Reed/Jeff Atkins fanfiction? But please note it will have mature scenes and deep dive into mental health a lot more than the show does.

[pinkykitten]

Brother’sHelp

13 Reasons Why

Jeff Atkins x Jensen! female reader

Warning: cursing

Specifics: fluff, comedy, jensen reader, drabble/blurb

People: jeff atkins, clay jensen, jessica davis, alex standall

Words: 886

Requested: By anon Hi oreo!! I just saw your requests for 13 reasons being open and wondered if I could request one. The reader is Clay's (or Justin's) little sister and he helps Jeff Atkins to ask her out. I know Jeff died but I love him so much! Thank you :)

Authors Note: oh lord! i love jeff / brandon so much like yall have no idea. my bby died so bad and so soon like bby noooooo!!!! this was so precious and light hearted like this show is very dark and i made it rainbows. god jeff is so cute like whyyyyyy im legit crying rn cuz im also listening to lovely from billie and khalid. WHY???????

You and Clay helped pick up the dirty dishes and wash them after dinner. Clay dried them while you rinsed them. 

“So,” Clay, your older very protective brother, leaned against the counter. “You are going to the dance right?”

Your e/c eyes went from Clay’s to the suds that rested on your skin. Smiling you handed him a huge plate. “Yeah. Why you ask?”

“No I was just wondering.”

“Uh oh Clay wondering? Thats never a good sign.”

“Shut up,” Clay playfully bumped into you. “You know, there are a lot of people going and there will be a lot of, um, guys so like I wanted to know...”

“Are you asking who I’m gonna go to the dance with?” You finished with the dishes, wiping your hands on the towel and placing them on your hip. “Cause if you are. I’m going with Jeff.”

“Jeff? As in Jeff Atkins? As in my best friend?”

“Unless there is another Jeff then yep thats the one.”

“But he’s like really buff,” Clay said. 

“Clay...what the h*ll does that have to do with anything?”

Clay was trying to find ways for you not to want to go out with Jeff. Jeff was a kind soul but he sometimes was wild and Clay didn’t want his little sister getting hurt or have any issues. He wanted you to stay little forever. Now you were growing into a woman and it scared him. “Why don’t you go with your friends?”

“Like every year? I don’t think so. I see the way Jeff looks at me and I think he likes me and I like him. I like that he’s nice and kind and he sweet to my brother. When he talks to me he makes me feel smart and he respects me. We talk but I’m too scared to ask him to go and to go on a date. So it probably won’t even work.” You sat gloomly at the table, resting your head in your hands.

Clay saw how down you were and felt bad. Jeff was good and he needed to let you fly in order for you to grow into an adult. All that Clay wanted was for you to be happy, besides he was going with someone, you deserved it as well and he was going to try everything possible to make it happen. 

It was lunchtime in Liberty High. Clay was nervous. You were his baby sister. He protected you all his life and made sure nothing ever happened to you. He saw Jeff sitting with his group of friends and thought about ratting out. But then he remembered your face and he became determined. Walking right up to Jeff he sat his lunch tray beside him. “Can I talk to you for a sec?...Alone.”

Jeff signaled to the guys to leave and pointed to the spot next to him. “Proceed. If this is about that girl you like, listen you just need to be courageous-”

“No its not. Its about something else,” Clay was blunt. Right to the point. “I have a favor to ask you and I’m not forcing you.”

Jeff smirked as he was a little weirded out by Clay. “Okay.”

You walked into the lunch room and saw your brother talking to Jeff. “What the f*ck?” You said aloud. Trying to be stealthy you ran behind the garbage can but what you didn’t notice was Jeff saw you. 

“What are you doing y/n?” Jessica asked as she ate her lunch. 

“Oh this is where I eat now. You didn’t know?”

“Behind the garbage?” Alex questioned, raising his brow. 

“Yep! Its nice and cozy and-”

“Smelly,” Alex stated. 

You rolled your eyes and waited for Jeff to leave or for something!

“Look y/n has, well I don’t really know how to say this, but y/n really likes you. Like a lot.”

Jeff smiled big and bright hearing this because in all honesty he felt the same way. “Oh really? Does she now?”

“Yes, very much and she was wondering if you would go to the dance with her?”

“Why didn’t y/n ask me herself?”

“My sister is very, very, very shy and she’s had this crush on you since like forever so she’s kept this hidden for a long time.”

Jeff laughed completely fell for you, “I was going to ask y/n myself if she wanted to go.”

“Really?” Clay was surprised that he thought of you. “Well alright that settles it. Are you gonna go with her?”

“Wait right here,” Jeff ran to the garbage can you were at and peered over. “Hi y/n.” He was smirking. 

You looked up and almost dropped your food. “H-hi there Jeff! You loo-look great!” You were screaming everything. You didn’t know what your brother told him. “I’m going to go n-now!”

“Wait!” Jeff grabbed a hold of your waist and kissed you on the lips. You almost turned into goo right there. He had that affect on you. “Will you go to the dance with me?”

Your lips were parted as you blushed. Still wanting more. “Yes, I would love to. I was gonna ask you that.” You put two and two together and realized your brother helped with all of this. “Clay!”

“That’s called brotherly love sis. Brotherly love.” He ruffled your hair. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover​, @angelgl16​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​, @hyehoney​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​, @totally-alexa21​, @creamy-pasta-boi​, @multireese​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​, @prentisskelley​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​, @collectiveyou​, @wtfisalltherandoms​, @dirbel​, @eastcoasthaven​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​, @reginalinettis​​

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[thewackywriter]

I LOVE YOUR WRITING!!! And I wanted to know if you could do a Monty and Jeff imagine where they both fight over you

A/N: HI WOW YOU’RE SO SWEET I LOVE YOU!! I hope you enjoy, Y/N isn’t really in it that much but I really liked writing this!! Thanks for requesting!

FALL WRITING CHALLENGE

MASTERPOST

WRITING PROMPTS

ASK/REQUEST

Leave It On The Bench - Jeff Atkins and Monty de la Cruz

Baseball games have become very tense since everything went down.

Jeff and Monty refused to throw to each other and were constantly making comments about how terrible the other was. They had already lost two games because of this and the coach was fed up. He called the team in for a huddle, “Okay that’s it. Atkins, de la Cruz, you’re both on the bench.”

The boys began protesting but the coach held up his hand, “Nope, I don’t wanna hear it. I want to win and I can’t do that with the crap you two are giving me out there. So you’re both gonna sit the bench until you get over whatever the hell is going on.”

With that, both boys were dismissed to the dugout. They sat on either side and refused to look at each other. Of course, they couldn’t sit in silence for long.

“Man, would you get over it already? She chose me. Move on.”

“Well, she made the wrong choice. Don’t worry, she’ll come crawling back to me soon.”

“Yeah whatever helps you sleep at night man. Until this so called crawling happens, can we just cut the crap and leave all this on the bench. I wanna play baseball. Can we just play?”

“…fine. Let’s go.”

[jeffatk1ns]

Too Late, I Love You. - Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request – “Can you do a Jeff imagine about the first ily but it doesn't go as planned? Like he wanted it to be romantic but you argue or something and he just screams it out?”

Okay. He thought. Okay, I’m ready. He knew how he felt, every cell in his body was inexplicably sure about her, sure that he loved her. Just the other day, when he’d been looking for a particular textbook for school, it had dawned on him. Her name was soft on his lips as he dragged his fingers across the bookshelf.

“Y/N.”

Eyes widening like light bulbs, he said it again. “Y/N.”

I love Y/N.

So he’d spent the following days pulling up the courage to do this right. He was going to be romantic and sweet about it, but plan something that she could easily get out of if she felt uncomfortable. Finally he’d decided on a picnic, a cliché, but sweet, picnic.

Today was the day he was facing one of his closest friends with the embarrassing truth that he was stupidly in love with her.

“Hey!” Jeff called, watching her walk over.

She waved in a lacklustre way. Immediately that indicated to him something was up.

“Hi.” She breathed, slumping down next to him on the bench.

“What’s up?” Jeff sat up and studied her face.

“Nothing.” She faked a smile and rested a hand on his arm. “This looks lovely.” She purveyed the food and blankets. “Actually, It’s exactly what I need right now.” She smiled genuinely that time. Y/N was in desperate need to spend carefree time with one of her closest friends, especially one as understanding as Jeff, one who always managed to make her feel better.

After a while, sitting and talking about everything, yet nothing at all, Y/N’s phone rang.

“One second…” She motioned to Jeff, walking off a bit to talk the phone call. He noticed her getting frustrated and hanging up the phone violently.

“Who was it?” Jeff asked as she stormed back.

“Fucking boys, I swear to god every time- they just- !” She threw her phone at the picnic blanket, and it landed in the jar of salsa.

“Shit.”

Jeff reached over to pull it out, and cleaned it with a tissue. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

Silence.

“Was it Montgomery?”

She shot him another frustrated look.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes because I care about you?”

“You’d just say I told you so.”

“I’d never, I just don’t want you to feel like-“

“Like you couldn’t give a shit about my boy drama?”

“…I guess.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it had left his mouth, but Y/N was already picking up her bag.

“I don’t need to cause you any more grief. I know you don’t want to be around me when I’m like this.”

“Of course I do!” Jeff was getting increasingly frustrated, this had not gone at all how he’d planned.

“You wouldn’t understand, there’s too much- and you- you-“

“Me?”

She scoffed. “Nevermind.”

“You clearly need to talk to me about this!” He had raised his voice now.

“Why do you care?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.”

Silence washed over them again. That was not meant to come out. It was all wrong. I screwed up.

“You… you what?”

He sighed helplessly, sinking down into the bench. “I love you.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better, because this bullshit is doing the exact opp-“

“No! No! For god’s sake. I’m trying to finally be honest with myself, and you. You don’t need me to keep lying to you. You don’t deserve it. I’ve spent so long suppressing these feelings, telling myself I couldn’t give a shit about Montgomery or whoever else had their eye on you – but the truth is I always have. I hate myself for feeling that entitlement to your affection so I cover it up, but I had to be straight. You’re the only thing that stops the world turning for a moment, makes everything seem okay for a while. And please, don’t feel like you have to say something, listening’s enough. At this point ‘friends’ is better than I could ever dream of, but I’d completely understand if you didn’t even want that anymore. I just want you to be happy, and however that is, I’ll be fine. I love you. I love you.” And with that bombshell, Jeff stood from the bench, scrunching up his beautifully melancholic features, attempting to disguise the tear, and walked off towards the trail.

His head spun like a bike wheel left to blow in the wind. Instant regret shot through him like a laser, but there was no going back now. He’d royally screwed everything up, and even if they hadn’t disputed, doing it would’ve still messed everything up. It was only now that he fully thought about the repercussions.

A tug on his arm pulled him round to face her, tears coating her soft cheeks too.

He scrunched up his features once more, the regret seeping into to his entire being. “I’m sorry-“

“Too late,” She choked. “I Love You.”

And her lips felt like home again, and her rosy scent coddled him in warmth, and the regret seeped out of his pores, and he knew, again, that everything was going to be okay for a while.

[nctloveclub]

a miracle || jeff atkins

prompt: Can I get a 13 Reasons Why one-shot where the female reader is dating Jeff Atkins and she stays home instead of going to the party and Jeff goes on the beer run and gets in the accident and Clay finds him and calls the reader and he's alive but needs to go to the hospital? Clay leaves the hospital after a bit but the reader stays all night and when Jeff wakes up, he finds her asleep in the chair in his room? No smut, please.

warnings: car crash, almost death

a/n: i actually wrote something!!! im sorry i haven't been posting but i hope you enjoy this :-)

masterlist + request (read rules before requesting)

Clay didn’t know what to do, so he did the first thing that came to mind: call you. He didn’t know how this happened, and he called 911 the moment he saw the tragic scene. “Hello?” You answer the phone.

“Y/N! It’s me Clay.”

“I know, I have caller ID.”

“No time for jokes. Look something happened, there was car crash and Jeff is hurt. Oh my god, Y/N please just come.” Clay spoke quickly, almost too quick for you to function. But once you heard Jeff was hurt, you froze, you quickly asked where Clay was and you rushed to your car.

When you arrived at the scene, you saw the ambulance leave. “Clay what the hell happened?” You asked angrily. “What?! I don't know! I’m just as lost as you are.” You sigh, motioning Clay to get in your car. “Let’s just get to the hospital.” Clay nodded and he jumped into the front seat. You started the car and drove towards the direction that lead to the hospital.

You and Clay sat in the waiting room. Clay was an anxious mess but you could’t blame him, you were in the same state as him. “Clay, can you tell me what happened?” Clay sat down next to you and began to speak. “I went to the party with Jeff and everyone was drinking and partying. Then we ran out of beer and Jeff said he was gonna go on a beer run. Jeff wasn’t drinking he was sober. I left the party and walked and then I saw the crash. Then I called 911 and you.” When he finished speaking, Clay could see the hurt in your eyes.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself y/n.” Clay said, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have stayed home. I should’ve been with Jeff, this shouldn't have happened.” You rant. “But if you did go with him, there would be a chance that you could've gotten hurt too or even worse, died. Y/N, don’t be guilty for this. Jeff will be fine y/n.” You give Clay a smile before thanking him.

A doctor approached you and Clay, telling you good news. “Jeff is alive but he has some major injuries and will need to stay here.” You immediately feel relief and after 30 minutes of waiting, you and Clay made your way to the room that Jeff was in. You sat in the chair that was next to the bed, looking over Jeff’s features. His arms and face was nearly covered with small cuts, his leg was bandaged. You wanted to cry at the sight of him, god the mere thought of losing him made you cry.

You decided to stay at the hospital, you texted your parents ahead of time so they wouldn't worry. Clay stayed with you for 2 hours before leaving. You watched whatever was on tv and talked to an unconscious Jeff, pretending that he could actually hear you. “I remembered when I first met you, it was at a party actually. It’s funny, I hate going to parties, but my friends dragged me along.”

“I was making my way through the cramped crowd and i bumped into you, and you ended up spilling your drink on me.” You laughed softly at the thought. “But you apologized and helped clean me up and you asked how you could make it up. I told you over a date. I never knew that that encounter would lead to this, I’m happiest when I’m with you. I think I love you Atkins.” You finished, placing your hand on top of his. You carefully lift his hand to your lips, placing a gentle kiss on them. “I love you.”

Jeff eventually woke up, he looked over at a clock, which read 4 am. He rubbed his eyes, slightly sitting up. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. “What the hell?” He quietly murmured to himself. He quickly noticed your sleeping figure. You were sitting in the chair next to the bed, your head laid on the hospital bed. Jeff moved to wake you up, gently shaking you awake. “You’re awake.” You spoke, giving him smile. “What happened?” He asked.

“You got in a car crash. I was so scared that you weren’t gonna make it.” You said, feeling tears form. “It’s okay y/n. I’m here to stay, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Jeff spoke, carefully bringing you into a hug. “I love you Atkins.” You spoke into his chest, your voice muffled. Jeff was shocked to hear those words, you haven't been going out long, only a couple of months.

But the moment those words left your lips, Jeff felt a wave of relief. He couldn't be happier, he was hit with the realization that he was in love with you. And it was the best feeling in the world. “I love you too y/l/n. I love you too.”

this is excessively long and extra but also kinda shitty. but im proud :-)

[giving-me-13-reasons-why]

Tell Me You Love Me // Part One

So I decided to make my first request a series! I just have so many ideas it would just be to long to make into one piece. I’m sorry if it sucks. I usually just repost other peoples content, but I am trying something new out. Let me know what you think and Part Two of this will be up shortly. I just didn’t want to much information to be put into one part. 

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Talks about Sexual & Physical Abuse, & Talks about Suicide. 

As I walk through the halls I hear my name being called from each end of it.

“Loved your solo during halftime Riley!” Some freshman screamed in my face.

“Oh! Thank you so much. I have been working on it for weeks.” I respond.

“Well you are amazing!”

“Thank you!” I smile at the young girl and make my way to my locker. As I walk up I see my boyfriend Bryce waiting for me. I sigh to myself and work up a smile while I get closer to him.

“Hey babe.” He says as while his hands somehow end up on my ass cheeks.

“Hey.”

“That’s all your going to say is hey? No kiss or anything?” He snarls as he squeezes my ass harder and forces his lips on mine.

“Riley!” Thank god. The voice of my best friend, Jeff Atkins. I pull away from Bryce. I turn to see Monty, Justin, Alex, and Jess following closely behind Jeff.

“Hey guys!”

“You were amazing! Did you write that song?” Jess asks.

“Yeah. I did actually.”

“Where did you learn to sing like that?” Monty says jumping into the conversation.

“I jus-“

“Guys. Cool it. She was okay, I mean let’s face it. She’s done better.” Bryce spits out. I tighten my hands on the collar of his shirt biting on my lip so hard that it could bleed, but it isn’t worth fighting with him anyway. It never leads to anything good so I just take a deep breath and let go.

“You know what guys. I have a lot of homework to do. I will catch you all later.” I say making my way from the group. I see Justin push Bryce’s shoulder.

“Come on man.” He says sourly looking at me with sorry eyes.

“What?!” I hear Bryce fight back as I start to make my way to the parking lot. I am approaching my car when I hear footsteps coming up behind me. I already know who it is so I just continue walking.

“Riley he’s an ass. Why do you continue to put up with it?”

“Jeff you know why.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s my only way into getting a record deal.”

I feel him grab my shoulder to turn me around to face him and I instantly yelp in pain.

“Woah. You okay?”

“Yeah. I fell down the stairs last night. No big deal.” I look up to see him frowning.

“Can I see? I know a bit about shoulder injuries being a baseball player and all?”

“Uhh. Jeff, really. It’s fine. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You sure, because I can drive you home real quick before practice and grab one of my special ice packs from my house.” I smile a bit at his friendliness. Classic Jeff. Not one uncaring bone in his body. Jeff has been my neighbor for as long as I can remember, but we didn’t really become friends until last year.

“I will text you and let you know Atkins.” I say walking away to my car.

“Catch you later Edwards.” He says slowing backing away from me with that famous smirk on his face. God. That is what he is; a God. I reach into the front pocket of my backpack for my keys, unlock my car, and get in the drivers seat. I instantly take a deep breath, start up my car, make my way out of the parking lot, and down the street I go. I always get lost in my thoughts when I am driving. Some say it isn’t safe, but I say it is the only time out of my day where I can take 10 minutes for me. To be me.

I never thought being popular would be so exhausting, but I also never thought I would be popular. Wasn’t until last year when I decided to go to a high school party all by myself because I no longer had any friends. All my friends either graduated or killed themselves on me. I miss her. Hannah Baker was the only person on this planet that knew me. Riley. Not Riley Edwards.

[cassiefanfic]

Having a child with Jeff Atkins

Fandom: Thirteen Reasons Why

Character/Ship: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Warning: FLUFFITY FLUFF FLUFF

Writer: Cas

Words: 450

Summary: Jeff Atkins and Y/N have a baby while in high school

Author’s Note: I tried my best with this one.

-You find out with a pregnancy test after you kept puking between classes

-The shock quickly ended when you had to figure out how to tell Jeff

-You set up a Chinese dinner with a fortune cookie for him that says “I’m pregnant”

-Dinner feels like hours before he opens it.

-At first, he laughs, thinking that the fortune cookie wasn’t real

-”Baby look at this. It says “I’m pregnant”

-He looks up at you, seeing the nervousness in your face

-”Y/N what’s wrong- wait… are you…?”

-You slowly nod, causing him to sit back in shock as he re-reads the note.

-”M-My baby- You’re gonna be having my baby?”

-”Jeff…. I want to keep it… please.”

-Jeff throws himself from his seat and to you, hugging you close as he spins you around, before stopping and kissing you.

-”Oh baby I-I wow. This is a lot to take in. Are you okay?”

-You nodded softly before he held you closer.

-”What are we gonna do?”

-”We are gonna be a family. We will raise our kid.” He said with a soft smile, kissing your forehead.

-After finding out, Jeff was in a hover mode. He walked you to every class, gave you rides everywhere. He did everything to make sure you’d barely have to lift a finger.

-He went to all your appointments, crying when you got a look of your future child and heard their tiny heartbeat for the first time.

-His parents helped you guys out, getting you guys a house so you could live together.

-The biggest surprise came at 5 months.

-You found out about the gender of your baby, a little baby girl, a little princess.

-After the appointment, Jeff took you out to dinner to celebrate

-As dessert came, he told you to take your time with the mini chocolate cake.

-After 2 or 3 bites, your spoon hit something hard inside.

-After scooping it out, a nice diamond ring was inside in a small plastic bag with a ring inside.

-Before you could ask Jeff, he took it from your hand and got the ring out of the bag, and smiled up at me

-”Marry me. Please. I want us to be a whole family. Marry me Y/N.”

-That’s what made it the best day, the best surprise

-9 months rolled around and Jeff pulled Y/N from school to make sure she wouldn’t go into labor

-After the 24 hours of pure pain, you two finally had your little girl

-”What are we gonna name her Y/N?”

-”Julia Clare Atkins…..”

-It was perfect. All of it

-With your princess, and your prince

[inagetawaycarxo]

Dating Jeff Atkins Moodboard

WARNING: NSFW?

(this prob sucks)

Send me 13rw request 

[katefaith18]

Thirteen Reasons Why

Cigarette daydream

You were only seventeen

Soft speak with a mean streak

RIP Jeff Atkins - 1999-2016

RIP Justin Foley - 2001-2019

[13-reasons-ideas]

Hey, I love your stories and your style of writing 💕 I was wondering if you could write one on Scott Reed, along the storyline of the series, where the reader was Jeff's girlfriend until his death, and Scott is there by her side and starts to get along with her, but he's hesitant to make a move because he was pretty close to Jeff as well?

MOVING FORWARD? 

A/N: Trigger warning: character death. I hope you like this. I tried to focus more on the process of moving forward with little snippets. I’m sorry this took a while, I had to make the parts flow together and it was challenging. I wrote and rewrote it a few times. Sorry if spacing is off, I tried to fix it as best I could. You’ll want tissues and maybe a snack. It’s a long one. 

SEPTEMBER

“Babe, you don’t have to go. I can go get more beer. You stay here with your friends.” I asked Jeff, who was getting his coat to go on a beer run. Jessica’s party was in full swing and everyone was here. Even Clay Jensen came, to most people’s surprise.

“(Y/N), I’m good. I’ve been drinking Coke all night. I’ll see you in a few. I love you.”

I sighed as I looked up at his beaming face, “okay, fine. I’ll see you in twenty. Drive safe, I love you too.” I kissed him softly and watched as he jogged out to the car to run to Blue Spot. I decided to go off in search of my friends and found them in the kitchen, arguing with Scott and Monty about who should get the last beer.

“Ah, finally. Someone who can break the stalemate. (Y/N), who do you think should get it?” Scott asked me.

“Easy. Me.” I smiled, taking the bottle from the table and opening it.

“But- you… you don’t even like beer.” Layla stuttered.

“I know, but it saves me from watching the four of you argue until Jeff gets back. I’m sure you can last,” I checked my watch, “fourteen minutes without a beer.” The boys groaned and Layla turned to Katie, sighing dramatically. I shook my head as I walked away.

I was alone for a while, just wandering the house. I had seen Clay run out of the party a while ago, followed by Sherri and Hannah a while after that. I played with my necklace, a gift from Jeff for our first anniversary, just people watching, the bottle of Coors still full in my hand. My phone buzzing in my pocket pulled me from my thoughts. “hello?” I asked, not bothering to look at who was calling. I assumed it was Jeff calling to confirm how much beer he needed to get.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N/N)- you- oh fuck.”

“Who is this?”

“I-it’s Clay. (Y/N) you… oh god. I called 911 already. There’s been an accident.” No. No no no. Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say. “J-Jeff.” His voice cracked. I heard sirens in the distance. I felt as though I was frozen. “Th-the police are here; they want to talk to me. They’re calling his parents. Oh god (Y/N/N). I have to go.”

“Clay. Clay wait. What happe-.” I tried to ask. He hung up before I could get any words out. It was almost like I had an out of body experience. I lowered my phone and felt the full bottle fall from my grip, shattering on the floor. No one was around to notice, or at least, I couldn’t see if there was. I had tunnel vision. Jeff… he can’t… no.

I blinked quickly a few times to try and make my vision normal, as well as keeping the welling tears from falling. Need to find sports boy. I couldn’t think of the proper words. Walking back towards the kitchen, I scanned the room for someone in a varsity jacket or a face I could identify as an athlete, hell, I scanned for Monty’s plaid shirt. Something like this should trump the stupid fight we had earlier today. I spotted him over by the fridge, talking to some girl. “Monty.” I said quietly as I approached him. He didn’t hear me. “Monty.” I tried again, a little louder. He still didn’t hear me, or he heard me and chose to ignore it. “Montgomery.” I said louder, my voice cracking and placing a hand on his bicep. He froze for a second.

“One second.” He told the girl he was putting the moves on. I watched him turn to face me. As soon as he saw my face, his mouth closed, and his brow furrowed. “(Y/N), are you okay?” Monty asked me, his eyes softening and his demeanor changing almost immediately. I couldn’t get any words out now that I had found someone to tell. I just shook my head and waved my arms awkwardly. “(Y/N/N), did something happen? What happened?”

I opened my mouth and my voice cracked. It felt like my throat was trying to open around a peach pit. “J-Jeff….” Was all I could say. My face crumpled and my eyes squeezed shut, trying my damnedest to keep from crying or screaming. “He… there was an accident.” Monty’s entire face dropped.

“What kind of accident?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s good Monty. We have to… I have to….” I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain that we needed to leave.

“(Y/N) you need to breathe. Let’s go find the guys. Come on.” He said, his face hardening as he pulled me along beside him. I turned to look at the girl he walked away from. She looked royally miffed.

“Scott. Where’s Bryce?” Monty asked his friend. I stood behind him, clutching his shirt tightly to keep myself upright. Had it been any other time, I think he would have minded.

“I don’t know, I think he went upstairs. Why?”

“We need to go.”

Scott looked between Monty and I. “Uh… do you need permission to leave now or something?”

“No Scott. We need to go.” Scott looked at me again and he seemed to register the look on my face as not simply having too much to drink. Monty leaned forward to whisper something to Scott. His eyes widened and he sucked in a deep breath.

“Okay. Uh… I’m good to drive, so you go upstairs and look for Bryce and Justin and whoever else. I’ll take (Y/N) to the car.” I clutched Monty’s shirt tighter.

“(Y/N), you need to let go. I’ll be right back. Go with Scott.” He told me, prying my fingers off his person. I heard myself hum and felt Scott guide me out to the car.

He opened the door and guided me to sit down in the passenger seat. “Do you want some water?” he asked, squatting down to my level. I nodded and he went around to the driver’s side. I turned to watch him root around in his gym bag for a water bottle. He walked back around to me and handed me the fresh bottle. I opened it and took a small sip. He watched me, steadying it when I shook too much. My phone rang again, and I looked down to see who it was. Jeff’s mom was calling. “Hello?” I asked, timidly.

“(Y/N)? Darling, you need to come to the hospital. There was an accident.” She told me, her voice shaking. I could tell she was trying to get the words out without crying.

“I know. Clay called me. We will be there soon.” I looked up as I saw the group of athletes walking out, confused and somber looks on their faces. Scott waved them over. “Okay. We are on our way to the regional hospital. Let one of us know when you get there and we will come down to get you.”

I nodded before realizing that she couldn’t see me. “Mhmm. I will.” I squeaked before hanging up. I felt several dozen eyes on me as I stared at my lap. “They’re going to the regional hospital.” Was all I said as I turned myself forward and shut the door. It was quiet for a few moments before Scott came around and started the car.

Neither of us spoke until we were about halfway to the hospital. I felt my stomach churn the closer we got. “You need to pull over.” I told Scott stiffly.

“You okay (Y/N)?” he asked, his eyes darting to me and back to the road.

“Pull over now.” I ground out, trying to keep from heaving.

“Okay, just a second.” He signalled to pull over and stopped the car. In a matter of seconds, I had the door open and was hunched over on the side of the road, throwing up in the ditch. Diego and Monty pulled over as well when they saw me, and I heard Diego call from the Jeep.

“Is she okay? Or like… she’s okay?”

I groaned. “I’ve got her, you guys go on ahead.” Scott called back. I wiped my mouth and stood up straight, sending Monty a thumbs up. He nodded and merged back into traffic. I walked back to the car, taking a gulp of water, swishing and spitting it on the road.

“We can go.” I said and it was quiet again.

Arriving at the hospital and calling Jeff’s mom was a blur. It was also a blur waiting for the doctor and watching his parents argue that I should be there to hear what was happening. I stared at the wall blankly while I waited for news. Some of the guys whispered around me, others prayed, others like me, stared blankly. Finally, the doctor agreed to let me listen and I walked over at the wave of a nurse. The nurse took me into the small room I remembered being in when I was young, and my grandma had passed.

“Mr. and Mrs. Atkins, Miss (Y/L/N). I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but Jeff passed away at the scene of the accident. I am sorry for your loss.” I closed my eyes as his mom dropped to the floor and screamed. His dad dropped and pulled his distraught wife into his arms. I took a breath and turned to run from the room. I ran down the hall, ignoring the group in the waiting room. “(Y/N), wait.” I heard someone call behind me. I ignored them. I also ignored the footsteps following me. I have to get out of here was running over and over in my head. I stopped running when I got outside and bent over, placing my hands on my knees. I gulped the air, trying to slow my heartrate and put off the impending breakdown.

“(Y/N)?” a voice spoke from behind me. I shook my head. I knew who was talking to me, but I couldn’t make myself speak. “Come here.” Bryce said gently, as though I was a fawn he was trying to approach without spooking. I still couldn’t say anything. His hand gently touched my back and rubbed in circles. I began to stand up and his arms immediately went around my middle to support my weight in the event that I couldn’t stand up. He held me for a few minutes, while I shook and tried not to cry. I noticed Justin standing at the doors with a broken yet menacing look on his face.

“He’s gone.” I whispered quietly into the blond’s shoulder.

“I know. Let’s go back inside, yeah? Get you some water and have someone take you home?” I hummed as he tucked me under his shoulder, supporting my weight.

The group of heartbroken boys were still in the waiting room with Jeff’s parents. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with them. Monty walked up to Bryce and took me from him.

“I’ll take her home.”

“Stay with her.” Diego told him, placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing. Monty nodded and took his flannel off, wrapping me up in it. I took one last look at his parents before turning and walking away, not daring to think of how I was going to have to begin the grieving process for my boyfriend.

I walked up to the school doors on Monday morning and stood there, just looking at it. I was early so there weren’t many people outside, but those who were, stared at me and whispered to each other. Jeff’s baseball shirt hung off my thin frame and my black yoga pants hugged my curves, hidden by the shirt. It seemed to be bigger than it was a few days ago. “Are you going to go inside, or do you want to cut today?” Monty asked from behind me.

I jumped slightly. “I’ll be there in a minute. I have to be here today.”

“Okay. I’ll wait with you.” He stood beside me quietly until I was ready to walk in. I took a step forward and then another, and another. He fell into step beside me. People stared as I walked in. I guess I should get used to it.Principal Bolan and Mr. Porter were waiting for me at the main office.

“(Y/N), if there is anything the school can do, just let me know and I will handle it.” The principal said. Yeah, sure you will.

“Thank you.” I replied, quietly. He nodded and walked back into his office. The appeasing statement has been made. Let’s not appear to care too much.

“(Y/N), you don’t need to be here today. You’ve suffered a great loss. Your teachers would understand why you weren’t here.” Mr. Porter offered.

I stared at him. Is he serious? “I know you’re trying to help and that’s great. But I do need to be here today.” I explained.

“Why?”

“I heard he was drinking, and she let him get in the car anyway.” A girl I had never met muttered to her friend as she passed me. Monty must have seen my features darken and he placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. I gestured to Mr. Porter.

“That is why. I need to get ahead of this. Jeff is-,” I caught myself, “was a wonderful and well-loved young man, but the kids at this school don’t care about that. If I wasn’t here, the rumors would be even worse.”

Mr. Porter nodded; he had been here long enough to know how people were. “Alright, but if you want to talk or decide you need to go home, come let me know.” I nodded at him and together, Monty and I walked to my locker.

“Did he really say, ‘you don’t need to be here today’? Like he actually fucking said that?” I asked.

“Yup. I heard it too.” Monty said, shaking his head. Clay stopped us in the hall, and I tried to smile at him. It came out as more of a grimace.

“Hey Clay. How’re you doing?”

“I don’t know. How are you doing?”

“I changed my shirt this morning. So that’s something I guess.” I shrugged.

“I’m really sorry (Y/N).”

“I know. Me too. Jeff really liked you, you know.”

“Yeah.” Neither of us knew what else to say. “I uh… I’ll see you around?”

“You will. Let me know if,” I paused, “if you want to talk sometime.”

“Okay.” He nodded before making his way to wherever it is that Clay Jensen spends his time. I tried to ignore the whispers as I sighed.

“This day isn’t going to get any easier.” I muttered. Monty shrugged as we walked. No one else really said anything to me as we walked, all of them grieving in their own ways.

“She isn’t left alone today, okay?” I heard Bryce tell the rest of the athletes, who had crowded around my locker. I had to stop myself from speaking up and telling him that I’m not a child and I can take care of myself. Instead, I readjusted my bag on my shoulder.

“Hey Bryce. Guys.” I greeted somberly.

“Hey (Y/N).” Bryce greeted, equally as somberly. He pulled me into a slightly awkward but understandable hug. Bryce hugs people when they aren’t in shock? This is probably one of the strangest interactions I’ve had with Bryce Walker since… ever. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just patted his back gently. He pulled away and the group made room for me to get to my locker.

“You can all stop staring at me any time. It’s kind of creepy.” I said as I gathered my things. “I know this is a hard day for all of us, but that doesn’t mean you need to stare like everyone else.” When I turned back, they were still looking at me. “Seriously, stop. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I will however, go to my stupid physics class and learn about the laws of motion.” I put my textbooks in my bag and began walking away from my friends. When I didn’t hear any of them following, I turned around. “You coming Diego? Hutcher will get all bent out of shape if we are late, even under these circumstances.”

“I guess so, yeah.” He mumbled, confused before quickly catching up with me.

Between the sad looks from teachers, the boys and their girlfriends following me everywhere, and the whispers from students, my patience with today was beginning to wear thin. It was around lunch time when I heard two girls talking to each other. They must not have noticed I was walking past.

“She really seems to be milking this grieving girlfriend thing.”

“Lizzie, it’s been three days, give her a break. I wonder what it was like. Must have been-.” I had finally had enough.

“What what was like? What part would you like to know about? The part where I begged him not to leave? Or when I got a phone call from a kid freaking out? Would you like to know about what it was like gathering all the guy at that party and going to the hospital? Because it turns out a brother dying sobers you up pretty quick.” I paused and looked at their expressions. “No. No you don’t want to know about that. You want to know what it was like listening to his mom scream and cry and beg God to bring her son back. You want to hear about how I haven’t eaten in three days because I’ve been crying so much I can’t keep food down. And how everyone is staring at me and whispering because apparently Jeff Atkins’ death is inconvenient for them.” Before I could continue, I felt arms going around my waist and I was being pulled back.

“Easy there Ticat.” Scott Reed spoke into my ear. I struggled for a moment and he wrapped his arms around my waist tighter. Finally, I relaxed, and he let go. I watched him turn to the girls.

“She lost her boyfriend three fucking days ago. We lost a brother. Have some goddamn respect.” He scoffed and shook his head as he grabbed the bag I dropped and led me towards the door. The girls looked as though he slapped them as we walked away. He passed me his phone as we walked. “Call Monty.” I did as he said and put it on speaker.

“Hello?” Monty answered.

“Hey. I’m taking (Y/N) home.”

“Why? Is she okay?” He asked.

“She is. At least as okay as we can expect. It’s everyone else that’s the problem.” He grumbled.

“What happened?”

“I’ll explain later. Tell Porter she had to go home for me?”

“I will. Keep me posted?”

“Will do. Bye.” He took the phone from my hand and hung up. We had arrived at his car and he seemed to have calmed down a bit. “So, home?” I blinked at him, not totally understanding the question. “Where do you live?” He clarified, slowly.

“Oh uh… just off Lincoln and sixth.” I replied. He nodded and got in the car. I followed suit and stared out the windshield. “That was… something.”

“Yeah well it’s been a long day.”

“I think they’ll be long for a while.”

“Me too.” He replied, sadly. “You don’t want to go home do you?” he asked, suddenly. I was quiet for a while before answering.

“Not really no. My parents are at work and they’ve just been hovering since Monty brought me home. But it’s so quiet.”

“I can stay if you want. I’m not the greatest cook in the world but I can manage soup broth.”

“You don’t want to go home?”

“No. Bryce may be a dick a lot of the time, but he’s right. You shouldn’t be left alone today. And I can guarantee that I am far better company than some of the other guys. We don’t have to talk or anything. If you’re not comfortable with that, I can call Monty back or one of your other, uh… friends?”

“You mean Layla and Katie? They aren’t really my friends. Have you seen or heard from them today at all? Because I haven’t.”

“I haven’t. Why do you hang out with them then?”

“Why do you spend time with Bryce Walker, Scott?”

“Fair point.” He replied, dropping the subject.

We got closer to my house and I spoke again. “It’s the slightly darker grey one up ahead here.”

“As opposed to the slightly lighter grey houses?” Scott joked. It was a really bad joke, but I felt myself start to smile slightly for the first time in days.

“Well, yeah.” I stated, biting the inside of my lip slightly to keep a straight face. He must have caught himself smiling slightly too because he quickly relaxed his face back to the somewhat somber expression, we all wore today.

“Heard that one before?”

“Yeah. Jeff joked about it a lot.” I smiled sadly at the memory. We were silent again as he pulled into my driveway and we walked to the door. Our stuff was arranged neatly by the door and we made our way through the house to the kitchen. Evidently, he wasn’t kidding about the soup thing.

“Okay, where do you keep your pots?” He asked, clapping his hands together.

“Bottom cupboard by the stove.” I pointed. I’m really not hungry and this really isn’t a good idea. He nodded and set to work searching the kitchen for ingredients.

I decided to leave him be as he fell into what was clearly his zone. When I was upstairs, I decided it might be time to have a shower and clean some of the sadness off of me. It doesn’t work like that (Y/N). I shook my head. You think I don’t know that? I just need to do something that feels normal. Once I was showered and changed into a clean sweatshirt and bike shorts, I made my way downstairs. At the sound of my footsteps, Scott looked up. “I made you a sandwich. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want, but it’s there.” I nodded and sat at the island in front of the bowl of hot soup broth. I took a timid sip from my spoon and sighed. This is really good.

“Thank you.” I muttered quietly. He nodded at me as he took a bite of his own sandwich. We ate in silence across from each other. Scott wasn’t lying when he said we didn’t have to talk if I didn’t want to. Once our lunch was done, he pulled out a notebook and did some homework at the table while I turned on the tv at a low volume, pretending to be interested in some soap opera that had been on longer than I’d been alive. Just like this morning, I pretended not to notice his not so discreet looks to check on me. He didn’t leave until just before my mom got home from work. We bid each other a slightly awkward goodbye and I breathed a sigh of relief that I could finally be alone for a few minutes.

The next couple of days at school weren’t much better. Bryce was still being… nice, which I found slightly odd. It wasn’t nice in a creepy way or anything like that. He seemed to genuinely be nice. He walked me to my first class since his was next door, keeping a respectable distance between us at all times. If he saw me in the halls, he would wave at me or nod in acknowledgement. At first, I thought he was being weird, but when I talked to Monty about it, he just shrugged. “This might be how he’s choosing to grieve. Focus on being nice to you and making sure you know someone is there.”

“I get that, but its Bryce. Usually when he’s nice to a girl….”

“I know. He’s annoying and says stupid shit. But he’s my best friend. I know him. He’s actually trying to be nice to you. Jeff was his friend.”

I sighed. “Okay. I’m not going to start hanging out with him or anything though. If he’s your best friend, what does that make me?”

“My person or whatever.” He muttered, going back to his geometry problem.

“I knew you paid attention when we watched that.” I muttered as I went back to my biology notes.

The stares weren’t much different, but it seemed like it had started really setting in for people by now. Jeff Atkins, one of their classmates, their idols, their friend, was gone. The snarky whispers stopped, but I wasn’t sure if that was because of my outburst on Monday morning or not. I noticed Hannah Baker watching me at my locker during breaks, but I didn’t pay much mind to it. She’s the girl Clay is in love with and Jeff wanted them to get together sure, but that girl had more going on than met the eye. Jessica and Justin seemed more lovey than usual which sucked to watch but whatever works for them I suppose. Justin and Bryce’s relationship seemed kind of off, but I attributed it to some stupid high school bullshit or having different ways of dealing with death. Diego and I hadn’t ever been super close or friendly at all, but he was friends with Jeff and Monty, so I had been around him. When we stopped to talk in the halls or anything, he talked to me just like he always had. We kept it to small talk and school related topics. I was grateful he wasn’t walking on eggshells and trying not to say the wrong thing.

Scott Reed was the one person I couldn’t wrap my head around though. We were kind of sort of friends. More than acquaintances, but not friends, friends. More, you’re friends with my boyfriend and best friend so that’s something, friends. We had also worked on group projects together in the past. He seemed to be stuck between trying to help me and being scared to talk to me. I would catch him looking at me from his locker but he would look away quickly in the mornings, but then at lunch or when the halls were quiet, he would try to make me smile or laugh. It was very confusing, especially with my head being so clouded by grief. I knew he wasn’t trying to make any moves or anything. It’s probably just the way he’s processing things. Maybe he’s trying to avoid the issue and this is how he wants to do it. We didn’t mention our afternoon at my house on Monday, nor did he insert himself into any grief related outbursts that may or may not have occurred in the last few days. You need to stop thinking so much. This is too much to deal with right now.

** **

I hadn’t retained anything we had talked about in school this week. I was too busy dreading this day. I stared at the classic black dress hanging on the door of my closet. It stared back, mockingly. I was in my room, hair freshly curled and pulled out of my face, neutral makeup on, doing all I could to not think about what my plans for the day were going to be just over a week ago. It was shocking how fast plans could change. Instead of a relaxing walk and maybe a game of catch with my boyfriend before dinner, I was getting dressed for his funeral. I rolled my eyes up to try to keep the tears at bay for just a little longer. A knock at my door redirected my attention. “Hey.” Monty said from the door. He leaned against the door frame, likely wrinkling his black suit.

“Hey.” I replied. I sighed and shook my head.

“Are we getting dressed or are we going to stand here hoping it dresses you on its own?” he asked, stepping into my room.

“I don’t know.”

“Your folks are downstairs waiting for you.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you want a drink?” I turned around to face him as he pulled a silver flask out of his inside jacket pocket.

“No. Need to be sober for this.”

He nodded and took a swig of whatever it contained. Today wasn’t the day to argue with him about drinking before eleven. “Do you need help with the dress or are you good?”

“I think I’ll need you to zip it up.” I muttered, motioning for him to sit on my bed as I took the dress off its hanger, going into my closet to change. I didn’t look in the mirror as I passed it on the way to my bed. He zipped it up deftly. I again, decided not to make a comment about how he wasn’t usually zipping dresses up.With that taken care of, I slipped on my black pumps and turned around to look in the mirror. “Do I look okay Monty?” I asked, pulling on my sleeves slightly, trying to cover up a little more. He placed his hand on mine to stop me.

“You look beautiful (Y/N). Stop fiddling with it and let’s go downstairs.”

“I don’t want to.” I replied, my voice cracking. Don’t cry. Do not cry.

“I know. But we need to.” He sighed. “Everyone will be there. If it makes you feel better, I can even talk to the Jensen kid.”

“Clay. And I don’t know if it would honestly.” Before we went downstairs, I asked him, “can I take you up on your offer of flask juice?”

“Not right now. You said you have to stay sober for this.”

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time today and walked downstairs, clutching the railing as I went so that I didn’t topple over.

Jeff’s parents asked if I wanted to come early so I could have some alone time to say goodbye to Jeff. When we arrived at the church, his parents, the Priest, and the funeral director met us out front. Jeff’s dad pulled me into a tight hug and whispered apologies in my ear. I rubbed his back softly and apologised back. His mom was quick to pull me in as well. “I’ll always consider you akin to a daughter, (Y/N).” She whispered. I had to fight back tears when she squeezed tighter before letting me go.

“I’m very sorry for your loss.” Father Carmichael said as he took my hand gently. They were warmer than I expected for a man his age.

“Thank you.” I mumbled. The sentiment was shared by the funeral director and I was ushered off to the waiting hearse. The back door was opened, and I stared at the shiny walnut casket filling the space. It almost didn’t believe what I was seeing. It didn’t seem real. I placed a hand on the varnished wood, noting how smooth it felt.

“This can’t be happening.” I muttered softly. I paused to wait for a response I knew would never come. “We promised each other we would have forever.” There was more I wanted to say but the tears were becoming impossible to stop. I hoped that he knew everything I wanted to say already. I wiped my tears quickly before turning around and waiting for the pallbearers to arrive. We were ushered into the church before other people arrived.

“(Y/N), would you like to sit with the family? You practically are to us.” Jeff’s mom asked as my parents went to get some water.

“Umm,” I paused and turned to Monty. He shrugged and nodded. “I guess that would be okay.” I replied, not completely sure of my answer.

“Alright sweetie.” She hugged me again and turned as the pallbearers began arriving. I watched on as the funeral director explained procedure to them. His parents and I were led out of the church once again to follow the casket into the chapel.

The church was packed full. I could hear the quiet loud of a large group chattering with one another at the door. I quickly shut the door on the original idea of a large gathering in this little church. Oh, how that day would have been so different than today. My dad wouldn’t already be seated inside, I wouldn’t be wearing black, Jeff would be standing at the alter instead of…. Suddenly we were watching the group of young men carry the heavy casket up the church steps. His cousins were trying to keep their tears in but couldn’t help the few that slid out. His uncle had tears streaming down his face. I took a deep breath and began following his mom and dad into the church. When I got to the doors leading to the chapel, I froze. I couldn’t make my feet move. Once again, I was bombarded with what should have been. I could feel people’s eyes on me but try as I might, I simply could not move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement coming around the last pew. Scott was standing at my side in a moment.

“One foot in front of the other.” He muttered as he held his arm out slightly. I grasped it, probably too tightly, but he didn’t even flinch. Together, he walked me towards the alter. I didn’t bother to think about what people would say about it. People here weren’t that callous. I took my seat and took a deep breath as he quickly made his way back to his seat.

Father Carmichael performed a wonderful service for Jeff. I felt tears streaming down my face the whole time. When it was over, I excused myself to the washroom to fix my makeup and have a moment to myself. As expected, Monty was waiting for me when I was done. Not as expected, was the addition of Scott waiting with him. I cleared my throat and pointed to my face. “You’re good.” Monty said, after a quick once over.

“Okay.” I nodded. I turned my attention to Scott. “um… thank you. For what you did in there.” I told him, awkwardly.

“It was no problem. That couldn’t have been easy.” He said. I shook my head. It wasn’t.

“Are we going to Jeff’s after this?” Monty asked me. I paused. I should. I really should go. I just don’t know if I can.

“I don’t… know?” I hesitated.

“You could show up for a few minutes, make a quick round, and say you need to be alone.” Scott suggested. I looked up at him. Could I really do that?

“That’s not actually a bad idea.” Monty replied, rubbing his jaw in thought. “We could go to the docks afterwards.”

“Flask empty yet?” I asked.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). We are in a church.” He gasped, scandalously.

“I don’t mean for now. And that’s rich coming from you. When was the last time you cracked open your Bible Montgomery?” He was silent and avoided eye contact. “Exactly.”

“It’s not. But it’s not like we can’t refill it if we need to.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” I nodded. I put on another brave face as we walked out of the church on the way to the grave site to lay Jeff to rest.

We made a quick appearance at the house, during which Bryce gave me another sad hug and I smiled awkwardly at people when they gave me the look I had become so familiar with in the last week. I was able to excuse myself and leave quietly with Monty and Scott in tow. The three of us made our way to the docks, after a quick stop at my place for a flask refill and extra bottle of vodka. I sat on the railing, staring out at the ocean, blankly. My companions flanked me on either side. The metal flask was passed silently between us until it was decided that I was “thoroughly fucked up” as Monty put it. The burn of the alcohol had stopped bothering me long before that.

“I cannot deny that statement.” I said, watching the waves.

“Ready to go home then (Y/N/N)?”

I turned my head to face him with wide eyes, “no. What do you think my parents would say if I showed up at home drunk?”

“Today?” Scott asked.

“I think, given the day you’ve had, they would understand. Plus, you were hanging out with me so they know you’re safe.” Monty shrugged.

“It’s the middle of the day. And you have been drinking since before eleven. There is no way you can drive right now.” I closed my eyes to stop the spinning in my head.

“I can drive. I haven’t had that much to drink.” Scott offered. It was true. He spent most of his time with the flask, holding it in his hand.

“See? Scott can drive. It’ll be fine. But if you scratch my car, I’ll beat you.” Monty threatened.

“Sure, you will Monty.” Scott laughed. We spent the rest of the day driving around town until I sobered up enough to go home, where I fell asleep as soon as I laid on my bed.

OCTOBER/NOVEMBER

The rest of September and much of October went by in a blur. I often found myself wondering if this was going to be my life now. Was I always going to be the girl whose boyfriend died? The staring stopped after a few weeks. And a couple of weeks after that, people started to move on. It was deemed socially acceptable for everyone else to continue living their lives. Sheri Holland stopped making weird eye contact with me. I wonder what that is about. Clay had seemed to stop openly pining over Hannah Baker. The guys were able to find ways to fill their time without being upset about Jeff. Everything was so… normal. The only person who wasn’t allowed to move on, it seemed, was me.

Everything was normal. Until Hannah Baker’s suicide. In the span of two months, Liberty had lost two students. Being a year older than her, we seemed to be more removed from the situation. It was still sad though. Especially when I watched how it was impacting Clay Jensen. Jeff had taken the boy under his wing while he was being tutored. I had asked him about it one night while we were on a date. Jeff had replied in his usual, happy go lucky glass half full tone, that “Clay is helping me with my grades and I’m helping him with Hannah. They’re good for each other.” I smiled fondly at the memory. Things were so much simpler then. People still looked at me in the halls. They still whispered when I passed. It became easier to ignore them. The drunk driving posters which had upset me so much when they were posted because I knew that Jeff wasn’t drinking that night, were replaced with suicide prevention posters. For the majority of my fellow seniors, Hannah Baker was just a girl. For me, she was just a girl. A girl who my late boyfriend tried to set up with his friend. It was tragic. But in my mind, it paled in comparison to the tragedy I had experienced only a month earlier.

Eventually, everyone else had gone back to normal. Except for Scott Reed. We had never really been friends. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. And while I appreciated what he did for me, both at school and at the funeral, we didn’t talk about it. He still didn’t really say a whole lot to me. Yet somehow, he was always just… there. I would catch him watching me. Or I would notice his ears perk up when I was mentioned as the guys passed me in the halls. Montgomery of all people even noticed. “You know, Scott was asking about you at practice the other day. What’s going on there (Y/N/N)?” He mentioned to me in the library one day. I merely shrugged and waved it off.

“He hasn’t really talked to me, so I don’t know.”

**

He was watching me again. His eyes followed me as I grabbed a book for my paper in the library. Stare at me any harder and you might set me on fire. Rolling my eyes, I turned and plastered on my best and brightest smile. Scott looked down and suddenly became very interested in his own book when he noticed me walking towards him. I pulled out the chair across from him and leaned in. “What’s your deal, Scott?”

“My deal?” he said into his book.

“Why are you staring at me? And why do you act like you aren’t?”

“I don’t stare at you (Y/N).”

“Then what do you call watching someone from across the hall and across rooms? Hmmm?”

“I uh… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Monty said you’ve been asking about me.”

He looked up. “He did?”

“Yeah. So, I’ll ask again, what is your deal?”

“Nothing.” He pushed his book aside.

“Sure. Whatever.” I huffed. Pulling out my books, I got comfortable. I’m already sitting here. Might as well take advantage. We were quiet for a while. He was trying not to watch me study. This is the most normal thing I’ve experienced in at least the last month.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh.”

“He was my friend (Y/N).”

“I know. Thank you. For what you did for me. I realized I never said it before.”

“No problem.” The bell rang. Packing up our stuff, we wordlessly bid each other goodbye and went our separate ways.

That day in the library wasn’t the only time Scott and I studied together after that. One of us would find the other sitting alone at a table or looking for something in an aisle. Our interactions were mostly wordless. A nod here and there when we sat down. Maybe the odd whispered question about homework. A shared chuckle about something we read. We never talked about Jeff again though. It was too hard. Still too fresh for both of us.

Around the middle of November, our silent study sessions began to change. They got a little less quiet. It was like we were walking on soft dirt ground rather than eggshells. We started bringing snacks. “What’s in the bag today Har?”

“Mini pancakes, chocolate chips, and banana protein bites.” I said, as I opened the containers. I set them in the middle of the table so we could both reach. We were studying quietly, both of us focused on our respective assignments. I could feel his eyes on me.

“I thought we were past this Scotty.” I muttered, smiling into my book. It was Thursday. I did English homework in the library on Thursdays.

“Old habits and all.”

“Mhmm. Right.”

“Actually (Y/N)?”

“Yes Scott?”

“Did you want to grab a coffee at Monet’s or something later?” I stopped writing. His question caught me off guard. “As friends, obviously.” He added when he noticed my hesitation.

“Sure. Say 4:30?”

“4:30 works.”

“Okay.”

I met Scott at Monet’s just after 4:30. We had both gotten stuck behind the same accident. He held the door open for me and even conceded when I suggested we pay separately since it wasn’t a date. I got a triple americano with cream and he got a drip coffee with milk.

“It’s like quarter to five in the afternoon (Y/N).”

“I know. But this is my order.” Jeff did the same thing.

“I’m not judging.”

“It seems like you’re judging a little.” I smiled.

“Swear I’m not.” He chuckled. I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. We sat at an open booth near the coffee bar. It was far enough away from the table Jeff and I used to sit at that it felt okay to sit at.

Neither of us really knew where to start in a conversation. The ten minutes of silence we sat in, made it exceedingly clear that all we really had in common was Jeff and some shared classes. I decided to break the ice. “Aside from football, baseball, and making soup, what else do you like to do for fun?”

“Video games but I don’t think that’s the answer you’re looking for. Hmm. I like driving into the city to go to the movie theater and seeing whatever is playing next.”

“No, it wasn’t. Expected that answer. Random movies sounds cool.”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“I volunteer at the local animal shelter. What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen doing that?”

“Central Intelligence, easy. It came out last year. It wasn’t a bad movie exactly. The Rock and Kevin Hart were in it. Just not my thing.”

“Huh. I heard about that one. My cousin went to see it. She didn’t like it much either.”

“Glad to know I’m not alone. What do you do at the shelter?”

“Oh, you know, walk the dogs and puppies. Pet the cats. Clean up the odd accident. Aside from that last one, it’s pretty nice. It’s the best when you see a friend who’s been there for a while or longer, finally get their forever family and forever home.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that like?”

“It’s hard to describe. Most of the dogs get this smile and almost are able to breathe normally again. The cats get cozy in their carriers or their box. It’s really adorable. They’re content.”

“That sounds like it’s really rewarding.”

“It is. You could swing by sometime if you want. See the animals.”

He seemed skeptical and I was worried I had overstepped. I know it’s been a while since I’ve dated, but this is just as friends. So I shouldn’t be worried about overstepping. “Are you sure that’s okay? Like you’re allowed to do that?” Oh, I see. That’s a relief.

“For sure. It gives them a chance to socialize. Don’t worry, the dogs and cats that have issues with people aren’t ready to be put on the adoption list or in the adoption section until they’re able to be around people safely. Any interaction with strangers is beneficial too so they aren’t as freaked when people come to look at them to potentially adopt. Plus, who doesn’t love to play with puppies and kittens?”

He laughed heartily. “I’ll think about it. Might have to take you up on your offer. What about the other animals?”

“Oh, I’m not really comfortable handling the birds and stuff so I kind of stay away from there. It’s not a problem for the shelter. They don’t want you to be uncomfortable or afraid.”

“That makes sense. You can tag along for a random movie sometime if you want.”

It was my turn to be slightly taken aback. “I’ll think about it. It sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Did you finish that already?” He nodded towards my now empty mug.

“Yes. It was delicious.”

Scott chuckled to himself softly. We still weren’t sure what to talk about, because we didn’t know what we had in common aside from Jeff and school. Somehow, we found things to talk about and the hour we expected turned into two. He looked at his watch. “My folks are expecting me for dinner in approximately no minutes. I should get going.” I checked my phone and my brows rose.

“I should get going too. Before they send the cavalry to find me.”

“Library tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure Scott. I’ll see you there.” On my way home, I realized that for the first time in months, I hardly thought about Jeff this afternoon.

Our study sessions changed again after our not a date just friends’ coffee. Things were less awkward, and it seemed like we had found our footing for the most part. We talked to each other in the halls more and Scott had finally stopped watching me like a hawk. We were even cracking jokes with each other. He had begun treating me like everyone else was. Like I wasn’t going to break if he or someone else said the wrong thing. Like I was (Y/N) and not the girl whose boyfriend died.

DECEMBER

I arrived at school later than usual on a Tuesday morning. It had been a little under three weeks since our coffee not date. I immediately noticed Scott at his locker. His bag was slung over one shoulder and he was wearing his varsity jacket. He was talking to Mike. Mike was a senior in my Spanish class. I didn’t really know him all that well outside of that. I didn’t realize they were friends. When I walked past his locker, I overheard them talking about me.

“Why don’t you go for it and ask her?”

“I don’t know man. She’s really great and all but….”

“She was Jeff’s girlfriend. I get it.”

“He was my friend. I don’t want to overstep.”

“I know.” Mike said. I wanted to hear more of what they were saying so I bent down and undid the heel strap on my wedges. I fiddled with it while they talked. “This is going to sound horrible. I realize that so don’t hate me. I miss him as much as the next guy. I really do. But… Jeff isn’t here anymore, Scott. He’s gone.” You’re right Mike. That is horrible. “There isn’t really a line to overstep. It’s not like anyone can do anything to fix it. It just… is.”

“But do I want to be the guy who asks his dead friend’s girlfriend on a date?” A date? My cheeks flared. I couldn’t say that the idea hadn’t crossed my mind that Scott was an option. I had just felt absolutely terrible for it as soon as I did.

“Maybe you need to be. Maybe that could help both of you.”

“Help us what Mike?” Scott asked, the unease clear in his tone.

“Help you move…” Mike paused, “on isn’t the right word. Forward? That sounds better. Help you move forward. She needs someone and from what I’ve seen, she has Monty, those two girls who basically stopped talking to her after Jeff died, a couple of randoms she doesn’t seem to like that much, the baseball team-but it seems like they keep her around out of pity. And you. She has you.”

“And how would asking her on a date help me?”

“You have Monty, Charlie, and the baseball team. You think I think you like the rest of the team?”

“No.” He admitted.

“Exactly. And you have her. Jeff was your friend. He was her boyfriend. And he died. You both need someone to get through that. Because going through it when you feel like you’re alone, sucks. Besides, (Y/N) doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to stop being friends with someone if they ask her out and she isn’t interested in that. So, either way, she won’t not be in your life.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Course I am. Now, go. Go shoot your shot. I gotta get to math.”

My eyes widened when their conversation ended abruptly like that. I wasn’t prepared. Quickly, I stood and sped off to my own locker. I had barely had time to open it and pretend to look for something before Scott was behind me. “Hey Ticat.”

“Oh, uh. Hey Scott.”

“Whatcha looking for?”

“Book for English.”

“Cool, cool.”

“Mhmm.” Oh my God this is awkward. Please don’t ask. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. Someone pulled my attention away before Scott could say anything else.

“(Y/N)!”

“What?”

“Monty and Alex just got into it in the parking lot. You have to come see this.” Once again this morning, my eyes widened. They’ll probably stick like this if it happens again today.

“I’ll be right there.” I turned to Scott, abandoning my bogus search, “I uh… I need to go take care of that. I don’t know if I’ll be able to study today.” Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.

“No problem. Go. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, text me.” I called as I ran off.

I skipped our study sessions for the next week and I was cautious with our texts. It was like we were back at the beginning of our friendship. Could you even call it a friendship? Well, technically Friday wasn’t skipping. I had a doctor’s appointment. Scott didn’t appear to pick up on the change though. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was oblivious, like most other boys, or if he was just as freaked out as I was by the idea of dating. I used the time in the week that I should have been studying and would have been spending with Scott, to think about him. I thought about how easy our conversations had become and how comfortable and normal I felt with him. The way his piercing blue eye shone when he laughed. Or the way they narrowed slightly when he was silently judging some stupid comment his friends made. About how white his teeth were. The way he smiled when he finished a difficult homework problem. About how soft his hair looked. Oh dear. I’ve got it bad.

I texted Scott the next morning. Library this afternoon? He answered about half an hour later, while I was eating breakfast.

Sure. I’ll save you a seat.

Cool. I have leftover chocolate chip cookies.

In free period, I found Scott at a table in the corner of the library. His stuff was spread out on what looked like exactly half of it. There was a clear divide of where his stuff ended and where the free area was. Did he save half of the table for me? He looked up from his notes when I sat down. “Hey Ticat.”

“Hey Scotty. How’s the,” I paused and looked at his notes, “calculus coming?”

“It’s coming. I have a test tomorrow and I have no idea how I’m going to pass.”

“I can try to help you?”

“I’ll see how far I can get with this and go from there?”

“Of course.” I pulled out my geography notes and the cookies. We easily fell back into our usual silent study. It was like I hadn’t been bailing on him for a week.

When the bell rang, we packed up our belongings and snuck sly glances at each other.

“Walk you to class?”

“Sure.” I nodded and threw my book bag over my shoulder.

“How have you been this week?”

“You know. Busy.”

“Yeah. How was the doctor?”

“Good. I got a clean bill of health.”

“That’s good.” I cleared my throat, awkwardly. What happened to the way things were last week? “Hey (Y/N). Uh, did you want to maybe see a movie sometime?”

“A random see what’s playing next, movie?”

“Sure. Or, you know. You could pick a movie and we could see that.”

“Scott?” I stopped walking and stepped to the side of the hall.

“Yeah?”

“Are you trying to ask me out?”

“What would you say if I was?” I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

“I’d say I thought you would be much smoother and more direct. And also, I think I would like that.”

“Saturday afternoon?”

“Sure. Saturday works for me.”

“Awesome.” He stepped back into the crowded hall and walked me to class. Maybe Mike is right. Maybe this will be good for us. For me.

Saturday morning, I got up early to get ready. We had decided he would be at my place at 12:30. Since it had been so long since I had been on a first date and… and my last date had been with Jeff, I was more than a little anxious. I wasn’t sure what to wear. I wasn’t sure how to do my hair. I couldn’t call anyone to ask because I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell people I was going on a date. Staring at my closet didn’t really help the indecision. Jeans? Do people wear jeans on a first date? I pulled a few pairs out. A skirt is too formal. And I don’t want to make the wrong impression. Shirt? I need to wear a shirt. Flicking through the hangers, I picked a couple of choices that were nice but not too nice. Options in hand, I laid them out on the bed. The jeans were easy to pare down to one choice. I went with a comfortable pair of Levi’s. Again, they were nice, but not too nice. A safe choice. I ended up choosing a striped high neck tank top and grabbed a black cardigan to wear on top. Pulling a pair of flats out, I slipped them on and fixed my hair. I side braided it quickly and pulled a few pieces out to frame my face. It looked effortless. Presentable and like I thought about it, yes. But still effortless, nonetheless.

The doorbell rang just before 12:30. “I’ll get it!” I called out to my parents in the other room.

“K.” Mom responded. I hopped over to the door. Scott was standing on my porch with his hands in his pocket. His usual varsity jacket was traded for a simple grey hoodie.

“Hey (Y/N).”

“Hey Scott. Just let me grab my purse and we can head out?”

“Sure.” Purse in hand, Scott and I walked out to his car. He opened the door for me, and I smiled shyly at him. Why are you acting so shy? It’s Scott Reed. It’s not like you’ve never spoken to him before. Oh, I don’t know? Maybe because I’m going on a date with him?

“You look… really pretty.”

I blushed and looked down briefly. “Thank you. I wasn’t really sure what to wear, to be honest. You look pretty too.” I realized what I said, as soon as the words left my mouth. I can’t believe I just said that. Oh, my word. Scott burst out laughing. “Uh. I mean. Handsome. You look handsome. Very put together.”

“No, no. I’ll take pretty. I’m confident enough in my manhood that it’s a compliment. Not every day a girl calls me pretty. Let alone one I’m interested in.”

“Trust me, it happens. It might not be to your face. But it does happen.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” We were quiet for a time. My face was still pink from embarrassment. “Did you have any particular movie in mind?”

“No, not really. I thought we could give your whatever movie is next thing a go?”

“I like the way you think. As long as it isn’t 2001. Because there isn’t a more boring film in existence.”

“Oh my God, I know right? I had to see it with my cousin once for ‘family bonding time’ and I fell asleep like twice.”

“Your family does bonding time too?”

“Ugh. You don’t even want to know.” I sighed dramatically.

“Tell me about it next time?” Woah. Next time? That… doesn’t actually sound that bad.

“Next time? We haven’t even gotten through a movie together and you’re already talking about next time?”

��Well- I- uh- we-.”

“Scott. Relax. Ask me again on the way home?”

“Okay.” He sounded relived.

When we arrived at the Crestmont, the ticket person was staring blankly out the booth’s window. The joys of the Saturday afternoon shift, I guess. “Welcome to the Crestmont.”

“Hi. How are you?” Scott asked the boy. His name tag read Andrew.

“Good. And you guys?”

“Good.” We answered together.

“How can I help you?”

“Can we get two tickets to whatever is playing next?”

“Two tickets to Ferdinand in not 3D. That’ll be ten dollars please.” Scott handed him the cash and I took the tickets. “Enjoy the show.”

“Thank you.” I said.

Inside, the concession worker greeted us in a much kinder tone than the ticketer. “Any chance you’ll let me pay for the snacks?”

“Not even a little.”

“Oh, come on Scotty, you drove and paid for tickets. The least you could do is let me pay for snacks.”

“No, I’ve got it. Don’t worry about it Ticat.”

“Please?” I looked at him with my best puppy dog eyes. I could see the resolve begin to crack. “Pretty please?”

“Ugh. Fine. You can buy the snacks.” He caved, dramatically.

“Yay.” I said, softly. The cashier looked like she was trying not to laugh but she was smiling. “Hi. Can I get a pack of gummy bears and a medium Cherry Coke, please?” I turned to Scott, “are we sharing popcorn? I don’t really eat very much.”

“That sounds good.”

“Okay. And a large popcorn. And whatever he would like.”

“Can I get a pack of sour patch kids and a medium orange Fanta, please?”

“Coming right up.” I paid her and caught Scott grimacing in the corner of my eye. The puppy dog eyes always work. With our snacks in hand, we found some decent seats, given the time of day we were there. The movie was adorable. While it was technically for children, I found it to be incredibly heartwarming. Somewhere around thirty minutes into the film, our hands found each other on the shared armrest. We turned and smiled shyly at each other.

After the movie was done, we walked back to his car, hand in hand. It felt strange but also kind of nice. “I’m getting snacks next time, if I have to steal your wallet.”

“Scott Reed, commit a crime? Why I never.”

“You’d get it back after the movie.”

“Fine. But I thought next time was when I got to bore you with family bonding time stories.”

“Only because I get to bore you with mine. And fine. Then the third date.”

“It’s a date.”

JANUARY

Scott and I had been dating for about a month by now. We were keeping it on the down low. I wasn’t ready to announce to people that I was no longer the sad, grieving, heartbroken girl who was destined to be alone that they thought I should be. Scott understood that. As far as anyone at school was concerned, Scott and I were just friends. We had already been studying together so it wasn’t out of the ordinary that we were still doing that. They must have missed all the coy or longing glances we shot each other. If anyone saw us together outside of school, they assumed we were just helping each other through Jeff’s death.

Scott and I were on a date at Monet’s. It was a Sunday afternoon. It was abuzz with patrons looking for an afternoon pick me up after church or brunch. But to us, it may as well have been empty. We were still in that ‘we are the only two people who exist when we are together’ stage. Scott had just gotten back from ordering us a couple of refills. He had memorized my order already. I thought it was the sweetest thing. “So, we’ve never really talked about it but,” he paused. Oh no. Please don’t ask about Jeff. I’m not ready to get into all of that. And I don’t want to do it in public. I’m going to cry. I know I will. “you and Monty seem pretty close. What’s the story there?” Oh, that’s it? Just Montgomery? Phew.

“Not really much of a story. We grew up next door to each other before my parents moved across town in eighth grade. His family moved in about a year after mine did. I kind of took him under my wing, especially as we got older. There weren’t many kids our age in the neighbourhood. Or at least, none our moms would be okay with us spending time around. So, we had each other.”

“Interesting. He never mentioned it.”

“Well, he likes to keep his home life… private. Or….” I paused, unsure of how much Scott knew. It wasn’t my place to air that information unless necessary. Which, if you ask Monty, was never.

“As private as he can when his dad is his dad.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. He’s crashed on my couch a few times. And it’s kind of hard not to notice the bruises.”

“Yeah. Unless you’re and authority figure at school in this town apparently.” I muttered, bitterly. Scott scoffed in agreement.

“Your parents never…?”

“Offered to help? Of course, they did. He always refused. And as long as he knew he could escape to our place and be safe, they felt it ‘wasn’t their place to interfere’.” I rolled my eyes.

“I see.” He nodded, rolling his eyes too. “My parents are the same way. Give the kid a safe place for the night, some breakfast in the morning, and send him on his way.” I nodded.

“Anyway, yeah. We grew up together. Even though we are a year apart, it never really affected our friendship. Things were a little harder for a while after we moved. But that only lasted a few weeks. Everything went back to normal soon enough.”

“Cool. It’s good that he has you. The other guys….”

“Can be terrible excuses for human beings?” Scott laughed and smirked into his cup with a raise of his brows.

“Yeah. That’s one way to put it.”

“You know, it’s weird. Because I saw it from the outside looking in, in freshman year. And then when Jeff and I started dating in sophomore year, I got to see it from the inside to a degree. I never understood how Jeff did it. Or how you do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well. You and Jeff are so… good. Like inherently good. I get the teammates and ‘you’re like family’ thing. But you guys are so different from the rest of them. And I see it with Monty too. Because I see the him that he doesn’t want the guys to see. The decent him. But he fits better I guess because I know he can have his, let’s call them moments. I never understood how you could stand by and watch it. I’m not trying to attack you or anything. Just so we are clear.”

“No, no I know. I guess… I guess it’s because you don’t want to be the odd guy out. Even though Jeff never said or did anything, he was still looked at like a brother. He was able to stay in the background with all of it and almost be the glue that kept the team from falling into complete debauchery. He gave us a shred of decency. So, everyone else had something to look to. Whether they always listened to the ‘Atkins Voice of Reason’ or not is a different story. I learned a lot from him and now it’s my turn to be the voice of reason. It’s a fine line and it can be hard to walk sometimes. But someone has to.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I nodded. We spent a little longer talking about lighter topics before parting ways. We snuck a few kisses in the alley beside the building first though.

FEBRUARY

Since we had started dating, Scott had come by the animal shelter a few times to help out. He said it was to see me. I saw right through his lies. He mostly just wanted to play with puppies for a few hours. I didn’t blame him though. I would do the same thing. He surprised me on a Wednesday evening. I came back into the shelter from a walk with a German shepherd and a rottweiler. It was a long one, so they were happy to be back so they could lounge around and beg for attention. When I entered the kennels, Scott was sitting in the middle of the puppy room, surrounded by a puddle of puppies. He was being attacked by fluff. One of the labs, Daisy, was trying to scale his chest to lick his face. A terrier mix, appropriately named Jack, was trying to get his attention by gnawing on his hand. He was giggling and had the absolute brightest smile on his face. A loud bark tore my attention away from him. The rottweiler was apparently upset that I wasn’t paying attention to him. “Oh, I’m sorry Rascal. Did you need something? Do you need some attention?” I cooed and reached out to rub his head.

“Need some company? My shift is over.” I asked as I walked into the room and shut the door firmly behind me.

“Always. How was your evening?”

“It was good. Only had to deal with a few accidents. How was practice.”

“It was alright. We had more than a few accidents.” He chuckled. Daisy had appeared to have managed the climb and was cuddled against Scott’s chest.

“I see you’ve made a new friend.”

“It looks like I have. She’s very cute. Think I could convince mom and dad to let me bring her home?”

“With you going off to college next year? I don’t think so.”

“Damn. At least that one has stopped trying to eat me.” He nodded towards Jack. He was curled up in a ball in his lap, sound asleep. The rest of the puppies were either sleeping now or trying to get attention from me. I shared the pets and love as equally as I could.

“Yeah. He hasn’t learned all of his manners yet. Eating people is not the most polite thing to do when you’re trying to get adopted.” We laughed quietly together. After another half hour, it was time to call it a night and head home.

A couple of Sundays after the puppy puddle, I decided I was ready to take a big step. I was finally ready to go and see Jeff’s grave with Scott. I had been on my own before and it had been hard. I would sit and talk to him for hours. I couldn’t tell him about Scott though. I felt like we had to go together to do that. Depending on what you believe, he probably already knew about us. But I wanted to tell him anyway.

I called Scott that morning. “Hey. Are you busy later?”

“Hey Ticat. No, I’m not. Why? Something on your mind?”

“Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to go to Jeff’s grave with me today. Tell him about us?”

“Are you ready for that?”

“I think so. It’s time. I feel like it’s time for him to know. I need to tell him, but I don’t want to do it alone.”

“Of course, (Y/N). I’ll pick you up at one?”

“Okay.”

I decided to wear a skirt and a flowy top today. It was a nice day out. Scott picked me up and we stopped at the florist for some flowers. Jeff always got me purple tulips, so I grabbed a bouquet of them to leave on his headstone. At the cemetery, I walked hand in hand with Scott. We were both silent as we wandered through the maze of people’s final resting places. When we passed Hannah Baker’s grave, I took a single flower out of the bunch and placed it on her headstone.

It was both so long and yet much too fast before we were standing at the foot of Jeff’s grave. I neatly placed the flowers on the base of his headstone. Someone must have been by to visit recently because there was a worn-out baseball cap hanging off the corner. I could feel Scott’s eyes on me as I sat down and smoothed out my skirt. Since I normally came alone, I wasn’t really sure where to begin or what to say. He sat down beside me but didn’t reach out to take my hand. He was letting me do everything in my own time.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, wherever you are. But I’m choosing to believe you can.” Scott started after I hadn’t said anything. “I miss you. Everyone misses you. Coach Rick is still the same hard ass he’s been. We are hanging your jersey before our season opener. There’s some argument about if it should just be the team or if we should do it at the pep rally. I think you would want it to just be us.”

“Mrs. Davidson finally stopped reading out loud to us in Literature this week. Remember how she would just go on, and on, and on about the smallest, most insignificant details? And we don’t have to listen to her boring, monotone voice read every class now.”

“We have a chance at making state again this year. It won’t feel the same without you though. The guys are going a little crazy but I’m keeping things together. I think (Y/N) being around helps though. She really is amazing man. You have no idea how lucky you were to be with her. Or maybe you do. With the way you paraded her around like she was your pride and joy.”

“We really had something special. And I wish you were still here to keep sharing it with me. But you aren’t. And eventually, that will be more okay. And it will hurt less. But for now, it sucks. And it hurts. But I’ve started learning how to get through it. And I have help.” I reached out to take Scott’s hand in mine. He squeezed it. “Scott has been there for me every step of the way. Even the times when I wouldn’t be there for me if I were him. He’s seen it all. Heck, he’s seen me puking on the side of the road.”

“Or getting piss drunk at the docks.” I pushed him lightly.

“Yes. And he’s shown me that even though it hurts, I can let someone in again. I can be happy again. We’ve been together for a couple of months now. It’s harder some days than others. But he’s always there for me, no matter what. I understand why you liked him so much. He makes it hard not to. I see parts of you in him and it makes me smile on the hard days.” I had to pause because I was getting choked up.

“I see why you loved her so much. She makes it hard not to. She’s kind and smart and selfless. Even when she doesn’t need to be, she is. I wish I didn’t have to be, because you should still be here, but I am so thankful that I have the privilege of being with her. I hope you know that I will take care of her and I work every day to make her feel as loved and important as you made her feel. Our story can’t compare to yours, but I hope it makes you proud.” My tears had started to fall, and Scott pulled me into his lap. I cried into his shoulder. This was so much harder than I thought it would be. I miss Jeff. When my tears were under control, I looked at Scott for a moment. I looked back at Jeff’s headstone and was silent for a while. I was the first to stand. Brushing the dirt off my skirt, I reached out for Scott’s hand. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I moved the ball cap on top of the flower stems so it wouldn’t blow off in the wind.

“I love you.” I whispered. Turning around, Scott and I walked back to the car silently and drove home in somber, yet comforting silence.

MARCH

I was asleep on Scott’s chest when my phone began buzzing on the bed beside me. I slowly woke up and groggily searched for the unexpected noise. “Hello?” I whispered; my voice thick with sleep.

“(Y/N)?” Monty’s voice came through the other end of the line. He sounded like he was in immense pain. I sat up slowly, so I didn’t wake Scott.

“Monty, what’s wrong?”

“My arm. It really hurts. My old man. I, fuck, I don’t think I can drive. Can you come help me?”

“Uh…” I paused, looking at the man sleeping soundly beside me. “Yeah. Give me fifteen, twenty minutes.”

“Okay.” He said before he hung up.

I noted the time before waking Scott. It was just after one in the morning. “Scott.” I whispered, shaking him slightly. He grunted in response. “Scott, wake up for a second.” I urged again.

“Hmm? Wha’s goin’ on?” he mumbled as he woke up.

“I need to go take care of something. I don’t know when I’ll be back. You can stay here and go back to sleep. If I’m not back when you wake up, you can go home or you can stay here. If you stay there is cereal in the cupboard, and K-cups under the Keurig. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Okay (Y/N).” He muttered, already falling back asleep.

After quickly changing into a clean shirt and sweatpants, I ran downstairs. I left Scott a note on my dresser so he wouldn’t be too confused if he didn’t remember my telling him goodbye. I pulled up in front of Monty’s house and we drove silently to the hospital. I really hate it here. “What are we telling them this time?” I asked after I paid for parking.

“Sex?”

I blinked at him slowly. “What the hell kind of sex results in a possibly broken arm?”

“The really kinky kind?”

“Pick something better.”

“I fell down the stairs?”

“Alright. That could be believable.” With that, we made our way into the ER to have his arm fixed. We waited an hour to be seen and then another forty-five minutes for an X-ray.

“It looks like you won’t need surgery. I will need to cast it though.” The doctor advised.

“Alright.” Monty replied calmly, the pain meds having done their job. The doctor produced a bin of colours to choose from.

“Pick a colour and I’ll have you on your way soon.” He looked through them and decided on blue. Once wrapped and we were going to be on the way, the doctor added, “turn on the light next time.”

“Will do Doc. Thank you.” Monty replied and waved with his good hand.

Once we were in the car and on the way to my place, I realized I would need to explain Scott being over to him. Just tell him. I sighed before speaking. “Hey, so my parents are out of town, but you’ll need to sleep in the guest room.”

“Uh… okay? Why?” he asked.

“Because?”

“Because why?”

I felt my face heat up a bit. “Um… my room might already be… occupied?” I squeaked. I peeked over and his eyes widened.

“You mean…?”

“Mhmmm.”

“Who is it?”

“Scott?” I said, my voice raising an octave or two. Monty breathed out a whistle.

“Are we okay with that?”

I paused again, thinking. “Yes. Yeah, we are.”

“Well alright then.” he replied, leaning back and getting comfortable in the passenger seat. The house was quiet when we got back around four-thirty. Monty was tucked in the guest room as I slinked my way back into my own room. Scott was still sleeping soundly in bed. I crawled in beside him and went back to sleep for a few hours.

The following morning, I woke up and quietly made my way downstairs for breakfast. Monty followed not long after me, grabbing a mug and pouring himself a mug of coffee. I waited until he sat down and had a few sips before greeting him. “Morning Monty. Sleep okay?”

“Morning (Y/N). I slept okay. You?”

“It was alright. Warmer than I’m used to.”

“I’ll bet it was.” He smirked at me.

“Oh shush you.” Monty chuckled softly as I rolled my eyes.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah. I am.” I nodded, smiling.

“Good. That’s good.” He nodded and took another sip of coffee. We heard footsteps coming downstairs and looked up.

“Morning (Y/N).” Scott muttered from the middle of the stairs.

“Morning Scott.” I replied.

“Morning Scotty.” Monty greeted, as though this was a perfectly normal Saturday morning. Scott almost missed a step, he stopped so fast.

“Uh. Morning Monty?” He looked to me and raised a brow.

“He needed me last night. I had to tell him.” I shrugged.

“Okay.” He said, walking over to the Keurig and making a cup of coffee. The three of us stood around the kitchen slightly awkwardly looking at each other.

“Same rule applies as with my car. I’ll beat you if you scratch her.”

“Jump right to the threats, why not?” I muttered into my mug.

“I’m sure you will, Monty.”

“Damn straight.”

“Even though I’m your favourite friend?”

“(Y/N) is my favourite.”

“I’m your person. Not your favourite.”

“Yes you are.”

“You don’t call your favourite when you kill someone and need help hiding the body.”

“Excuse me?” Scott interjected, alarmed.

“She made me watch Grey’s Anatomy with her over spring break a couple of years ago.”

“Oh. I see. How was that?”

“It’s network tv with a lot of censored sex. And drama.”

“No boobs?”

“No boobs.”

“Yeah, it would be better with boobs. And if everyone stopped leaving and dying.” I added.

“Does this mean I have to watch it with you?”

“No, you might have to sit through an episode of The Bachelor though. I mostly just watch it because I don’t understand how none of those stupidly attractive people can find dates on their own.”

“You hate watch it. I can’t wait.”

“Well, you’ll get to look forward to what happens after we get done hate watching it.” I retorted, lowly. Scott rose his brow suggestively.

“Oh really?”

“And on that note! Who wants… whatever I can make (Y/N) cook with eggs, peppers, and… meat? What is this meat?” Monty cut in as he went through my fridge.

“I think it’s pork. Could be ground turkey though. There’s potatoes in the cupboard. Breakfast hash?”

“Sounds delicious.” Scott answered. I moved around him and got the bag of potatoes so I could start helping.

“How long has this been going on for anyway? Also remember that I’m still here so you can’t be all touchy.”

Scott looked at me before answering. “Since December.”

“How did I not notice?” Monty said after a pause.

“I don’t know. Too busy with sports and Bryce? There’s also spinach. Do I add the spinach?” I turned around and the boys were both making faces. “No spinach then.”

“I was not busy with Bryce.”

“Mhmm. That’s not why you blew off our movie marathon tradition?”

“Okay, point made.”

“How’s your arm?”

“It’s okay, hurts like a bitch. Why, Scott?”

“Just asking.” Scott turned to me and whispered, “his dad?” I nodded.

“No flirting.”

“I didn’t get to kiss her good morning, give me a break.” I turned and watched Scott playfully flip Monty off. Then, he placed a soft kiss to my lips and I smiled into it. “Good morning beautiful.”

“Good morning handsome.”

***

“Monty knows now.”

“He does.” I replied, leaning back into his chest on the couch. “He’s okay with it.”

“That’s good.”

“You aren’t going to be jealous, are you? Because there is nothing going on between us.”

“No, I know. What was the fight about this time?”

“Who knows. He called me and said he needed me, so I went. He wanted to tell the doctors it was a sex accident.”

Scott laughed. “What the fuck kind of sex would that have been?”

“The kind that would have broken his wrist, not his forearm.”

“You would have been the top?”

“Yes. So, you see why we couldn’t say that.”

“Right. That’s why.”

“We said he fell down the stairs.”

“Plausible.”

“Anyway, no idea what it was. But knowing his dad, it could have been anything. There’s a reason I don’t go to his house very often.” I left it at that and we cuddled on the couch for a while.

“Hey Scotty?”

“Yeah, (Y/N/N)?”

I sat up and turned to him. “Now that Monty knows, do you think we could tell other people? Maybe… maybe enough time has passed that people will understand?”

“I think we can tell people, if you want to. I don’t care what people think. I would have told everyone in January if you wanted to.”

“I know. I just… I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been the girl whose boyfriend died before.”  

“I know. People might talk for a few days, but they’ll move on. No one expects you to have stayed single for the rest of your life.”

“Not my whole life necessarily. Just the rest of high school.” I joked.

“The people who complain can fuck off.”

“I guess. And things have kind of gone back to normal now. Or as normal as they can.”

“We don’t have to tell people if you don’t want to (Y/N).”

“I do. I think we need to. I don’t want to hide you anymore. It’s time for me to start living my life in the open again.”

“And honestly, I’m tired of hiding you.” We spent a little longer watching tv together. It was nice having someone I could just sit and be with again. We each took turns choosing shows. “I should probably head home soon sweetheart.”

“Okay. I’ll see you Monday?”

“Of course.” Together we gathered up his things and tidied the kitchen. Scott kissed me goodbye, and I leaned against the front door after he had driven away.

Monday would be the last big thing I had to do before graduation. It was the last step in beginning to move forward. I would always love Jeff Atkins. He would always be a part of me and hold a special place in my heart. But I had realized over the last several months that I could be happy again. I wouldn’t be betraying him for allowing myself to fall in love with someone again. And I had Scott Reed to thank for that.

[new-to-this123]

Monty’s Revenge

As per requested

May I please request a monty x girlfriend reader? where she was raped too and he does everything he can for her and ruins Bryce..  lots of fluff and smut

(I know the request asks for smut, but the direction I took this story, smut didn't fit. When you read it, you'll see why but I hope you'll still like it though) 

 Monty X reader 

warning: swearing, drug use, alcohol, mention and details of rape, fighting 

word count: 2061

NOTES: I haven't posted in a LOOOOONG time. Now that I'm done with school I definitely have more time so I'm hoping to get all my requests caught up!  I hope you guys like this one. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N journal entry

August 27th 2016

Tonight Kat is hosting a party at  her neighbors house. Kats parties are always a good time. Maybe I can get Monty to notice me tonight, who knows, I know people say he's troubled but there's something about him that i just love. 

Anyways i guess i'll let you know how this party goes.  

August 28th 2016

Well lets just say that yesterday didn't go as planned but it was a goodnight! 

I don't remember anything from the party. The only thing I remember is talking with Monty, and Bryce outside of Hannah's house. I was very drunk and so was monty. I woke up in the clubhouse with monty. We both don't know if we slept together, but I think we may have. The signs were all there, I have a few hickeys on my neck, and there's definitely cum in my panties. 

Monty and I hung out all afternoon, then he drove me home. 

Monty kissed me before I left and said he can't wait to see me at school tomorrow! 

I'm so happy! 

Present day (March 2018) 

Y/N was sitting at the lunch table with her boyfriend Monty when Jessica, Clay and Justin show up and sit. 

“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jessica asked

“Why?” Y/N asked, since Jessica never really talked to her. 

“It has to do with the trials” Justin  added. 

“Look Y/N has nothing to do with that so leave her out of it” Monty said defensively placing his hand on Y/N’s lap. 

Jessica looks over at Clay and Justin, and takes a deep breath. 

“Y/N there's something i need to show you and it's not easy.” 

“ok ……. So show me” 

“Not here Y/N” Clay adds

“Why not? Anything you have to tell me you can tell Monty!” 

Jessica slides over two pictures.

Y/N looks down at the first one and ,in the corner, she sees Monty passed out on a chair, and in the middle is a naked and passed out Y/N. 

In the second one, Bryce is taking a selfie of him raping Y/N. 

“Where the fuck did you get these?” Monty yelled, grabbing both pictures.

“When were they taken? How did you get these?” Y/N asked with tears filling her eyes.

“There's a box full of them. But i can't tell you when it was.” jessica replied

“We were hoping you would be able to tell us when this happened.” Justin added

“I mean, i.. I don't know, i can't think of a time that i was left alone with Bryce in the clubhouse, Monty has never let that happen.” Y/N replies. 

Jessica, Justin and Clay look over at Monty. 

“Don't fucking look at me! I didn't let this happen!! Im gonna fucking kill him.” Monty said aggressively.

“NO! Let me go talk to Bryce.. ALONE” Y/N said looking at all four of her peers. 

“I want answers and he's the only one who can give them to me.”  

“No way Y/N!” Monty said

“Are you insane?” Clay added

Y/Ns Texts

Y/N: Hey Bryce, wanna grab a coffee at monets after school? 

Bryce: why? Sick and tired of De La Cruz? Never thought you’d last this long anyways. 

Y/N: urg meet me there at 3

“There meeting with him after school, if you don't want me alone you guys can sit at the back of monet's” Y/N said standing up, grabbing the pictures from Monty and leaving. 

“You guys don't come! He’ll know somethings up” Monty said, pointing at Jessica, Justin and Clay.

“Protect her Montgomery” Justin said, looking him right in the eyes. 

Monty walked after Y/N. 

Y/N walked into Monets and saw Monty in the back with Taylor and Kenneth.

“Urg of course he'd bring his lackeys” Y/N thought to herself as she looked at Taylor and Kenneth.

Y/N orders herself a coffee and sits at a table in the middle of Monets, and waits for Bryce. 

At 3;15pm Bryce walked in, went up to the counter, ordered himself a coffee and joined Y/N. 

“Sorry I'm late, got caught up with some of the guys.” Bryce said as he sat down.  

“All cool” Y/N replied

“So what did you wanna talk about huh? Monty being an ass?” Bryce asked with a big smile on his face. 

“No i wanted to ask you when this happened” Y/N said as she slipped him the selfie of Bryce raping her. 

The smile on Bryce's face quickly changed to anger. He leaned forward on  the table and whispered “where the fuk did you get these?” 

“When did it happen Bryce?” 

“When do you think?” Bryce scoffed. 

“ I don't know, that's why i'm asking you?”

“Just know that you wanted it. You were moaning my name the whole time.” 

Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and asked Bryce again 

“When did it happen?” 

“When did you wake up in the clubhouse with Monty alone?” Bryce replied with a smirk on his face. 

Y/N’s jaw dropped, and suddenly memories of that night flashed through her head.

Hannah’s Party

Y/N is standing outside, holding a beer, sharing a joint with Monty. 

“You know i was telling Bryce on our way here that i hoped you were here tonight.” Monty said as he passed Y/N the joint.  

“I was hoping you'd be here too Monty” Y/N replied, taking a hit off the joint and coughing. 

“Do we have a newbie here” Bryce said as he walked up and wrapped his arm around Y/N.

“ Yes it is” monty replied laughing. 

Y/N walked back into the party and spent all night drinking and smoking with Monty.

Near the end of the night Y/N and Monty were clearly very drunk and high. Y/N was using monty as her support and monty was using Y/N as his. 

Bryce walked up to them “lets go kids! let's get you home” he said as he placed himself between the both Y/N and Monty and wrapped his arms around both of their shoulders.

Bryce walked them to his car, he helped Y/N into the front seat and Monty in the back.

As he was getting ready to drive off bryce said “now now don't fucking puke in my car” 

“No promises” monty drunkenly said from the back, laying down on the back seat, closing his eyes and passing out. 

Bryce placed his hand on Y/N laps. Even in her highly intoxicated state she thought his hand was a little too high up on her thigh and tried to move it. 

“Shhh baby it's ok” Bryce said as he smiled and squeezed her thigh a little harder. 

They got to the clubhouse and Bryce carried Y/N in and laid her on the couch. 

“Monty” was all Y/N could mumble in her intoxicated state. 

“He's in the car babygirl. You're ok. I got you.” Bryce said as he started pulling Y/N shirt off. 

“No” Y/N tried to mumble and squirm away but Bryce overpowered her and stripped her completely naked. 

“I know you want this. Everyone does” Bryce said as he started raping Y/N. 

“The night of Hannah's party. You were supposed to drive us home. Instead you went to the club house and staged the whole thing” Y/N replied, tears building up in her eyes. 

“Naw! Monty walked in on his own and sat in the chair after I got you undressed. And in casual Monty style he was too drunk to notice anything so when i finished i woke him up and told him he fucked you a while ago but i had to leave because it was late and he told me to leave you guys there. He took the credit and look,here you are two years later, still happily together. So why are you bitching, we all got what we wanted in the end” 

Y/N looked at Bryce in disbelief. 

“We all got what we wanted?” Y/N asked a tear falling down her cheek. 

“You got the guy, he got the girl and I got an easy lay” Bryce smiled as he stood up and left. 

“YOU RAPED ME” Y/N yelled as Bryce left Monets and Monty ran to you. 

 “Baby what did he say?” Monty asked wiping away your tears. 

“You walked in when he raped me and you did NOTHING!!!!!!!” Y/N yelled as she pushed monty away running out of Monets. 

“Y/N!! BAAAABE! HOLD UP!” monty yelled running after Y/N. 

“NO! FUCK OFF MONTY!” Y/N screamed tears pouring down her cheeks. 

Monty walked away, angry and heartbroken at what his girlfriend told him. He got to Monets,where his car was parked, and got in and drove towards Bryces house. 

He got to Bryces and went straight for the guest house.

“YOU FUCKING SON OF BITCH” Monty yelled punching Bryce in the face. 

“What the fuck De La Cruz??” Bryce asked, pissed off.

“You raped my girlfriend!” monty replied. 

“She wasn't your girlfriend then and she wanted it! She was moaning my name the whole time” Bryce shot back pushing Monty.

 “NO!!! YOU RAPED Y/N!!!!” Monty yelled again, grabbing Bryce by the collar of his shirt.

“Your bitch wanted it! And if it weren't for that night you two wouldn't be together! So shut the fuck up before i beat you like you dad does” Bryce spat at Monty. 

In that moment Monty’s mind went black with anger and he jumped on Bryce and started punching him over and over again. Kenneth, Taylor, Marcus and Luke all tried to pull Monty off Bryce to no avail. 

“Monty! Stop!” Scott said as he pulled Monty up from the back of his shirt. 

“FUCK OFF” Monty yelled pushing scott, who stood his ground and grabbed monty wrists. 

“CALM THE FUCK DOWN” scott yelled at Monty, as he pulled him out the guest house, to his car. 

“He fucking raped Y/N” Monty told Scott.

“And you fucked him up. Youll be lucky if he doesnt fucking die dude” scott replied. 

“Good, he deserves it!” Monty said, getting into the passenger seat of his jeep. 

“Y/N’s parents are gone for the week, that's where we're going” Scott said as he got into the driver side and drove off. 

“Y/N open up it's me Scott” Scott said knocking and Y/N’s door. 

“Oh my god you are an impatient neighbor!” Y/N said as she opened the door. 

“OH MY GOD MONTY!!!” she yelled as she saw Monty's black eye and bloody nose. 

“You should see Bryce, he looks worse” Monty smiled. 

“Ya pretty sure he almost killed him” Scott replied. 

“You went after your best friend?” Y/N asked, leading Monty to the bathroom. 

“Of course I went after him! He hurt the love of my life, and lied to me about it. He’s lucky I didn't kill him.” Monty smiled. 

Y/N wiped the blood of his face and hands. 

“I love you Montgomery” Y/N said, bandaging his hands.

“I love you too Y/N” Monty replied kissing the top of Y/Ns head. 

“Hey you two im gonna head home i'll see you tomorrow.” Scott said, leaving and heading next door. 

“Let's go cuddle and watch a movie” Monty said wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulders 

Y/N and Monty ordered a pizza and cuddled for three movies in her bed. 

“Y/N…” Monty said moving some hair out of Y/N’s eyes. 

“Ya?” Y/N replied butterflies in her stomach. 

“I really love you.” Monty said looking into Y/N’s eyes.

“Monty, i can't have sex, i don't know when ill be able to but I'm not comfortable with it right now. After finding out about Bryce, I don't know, i feel different” Y/N said tears building up in her. 

“ Hey baby girl, it's ok, I'm here for you no matter what and it doesn't matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you to be ready. I love you and I'm not going anywhere.” Monty replied wiping away Y/Ns tears and bringing her into a hug. 

[fangirl--of-everything]

Drive Safely (Jeff Atkins x Reader)

A/N. JEFF DESERVES BETTER! And because of this, and because I am trash, I rewrote the ending of episode 9 - Clay doesn’t leave, Hannah and Sheri don’t knock over the stop sign, and everyone is safe. I hope you guys like it, and I am more than willing to take requests. Feel free to message me guys. Let’s cry together.

WORD COUNT: 3,420

Alright, enjoy!

The music was blasting, the beer was flowing, and Jessica and Justin were on the verge of procreating on the couch. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at the two sophomores and squeezed through the crowd, balancing the two drinks in her hands as she weaved around the drunk teenagers. She finally made it outside, sucking in a breath of the cooling autumn air and sighing. She was pretty sure Monty had brushed up against her ass. Horny asshole.

She looked around the far less populated, but still crowded, front yard, picking out her boyfriend from the way his poofy hair stood out above everyone else. He was talking to Clay, and as she approached she saw him roll his eyes violently, his whole body swaying with the force of it.

Damn Jensen, she thought with a laugh, you’re gonna break my boyfriend of you and Hannah don’t bang soon.

“Baby, your eyes are gonna get stuck like that.”

Jeff turned, his face changing as he looked at her. He lit up, grinned, and looked her up and down. “Hey babe! Listen, tell Clay he’s being stupid alright?”

She sighed, holding out his drink. “Coke for you, and Clay, you’re being an idiot.”

“I’m leaving.” Clay threw up his hands, exasperated.

“Woah,” (Y/n) lunged forward, catching his arm. Something was obviously wrong, he always played along with her and Jeff, and he was nervous, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “What’s up Clay? You alright?”

“I’m fine.” He shrugged out of her grip. “I just wanna go home alright?”

“Hannah kicked him out of the bedroom.” Jeff said, crossing his arms. “And now Clay’s being a baby and won’t go talk to her about it. Go talk to her Clay.”

“Leave him alone,” She elbowed his side. “If Clay is too afraid to–”

“I’m not afraid!” Clay snapped. He looked between the two of them, mouth moving soundlessly, and he growled, spinning on his heel and charging towards the house. “I know what you two assholes are doing!” He shouted over his shoulder, shoving Zach out of the way as he reentered the house, flashing you both the middle finger.

“Wow.” (Y/n) laughed softly, looking up at Jeff and cradling her Palm Bay in both hands. “He is so whipped.”

“Yup.” Jeff wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. “How’re you doing?”

She tilted her face up, kissing him softly. He smiled against her mouth, teeth catching her bottom lip playfully, and she shivered. But there were too many jocks around to really get into it right now. Damn the jocks. She broke away, taking a sip of her drink to keep from kissing him again. “I’m good. You? Jessica managed to remove her tongue from inside Justin’s mouth long enough to tell me they need more beer, and Sheri’s moving the car so you can get out.”

He nodded, attention a little too focused on her mouth and not enough on what she was saying. She nudged his side and he sighed, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry. Yeah I’m good. There’s no vodka in this right?” He wiggled the red cup.

She shook her head. “You have practice tomorrow, I figured you wouldn’t want to drink anymore.”

He kissed her temple, pulling her harder against his side until she was drowning in the smell of him. She wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks baby.”

“Love you.” She mumbled into his chest. Booze made her sentimental.

“Love you too.” He smiled down at her. “You wanna come?”

She nodded. He slid his hand down her back, giving her ass a quick pat. She smacked his hand, laughing, and he grinned down at her, pulling her towards the car. They settled in, and his hand found her knee, tapping a beat against the side of her leg as he turned on the car and the radio started blasting. He started singing along to some country song that made her roll her eyes, but when he looked at her dramatically, wiggling his eyebrows at her, she was forced to sing along.

“OH AND I’M HIGH ON LOVING YOU, HIGH ON LOVING YOU!” He pointed to her, bobbing his head.

“I’m leaving you.”

“I love you too.” He winked at her as he pulled into the beer store parking lot. “Wait here while I run in?” He asked, getting out of the car.

“No I’ll come.” She reached for her door handle, but Jeff pointed the control at the car and clicked the lock button. The door handle jerked in her hand, but the door stayed closed. “Seriously?” She undid the lock, and he pressed the button again, winking at her. He grabbed the passenger side handle, pressed the button again, and opened the door for her.

“M’lady.” He smiled with a mock-bow.

She rolled her eyes. “You are so lame.”

He leaned forward, pecking her lips. “I love you.”

She sighed, taking his hand as he led her towards the store. “I love you too you big dork.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders again, and her arms slid around his waist as they browsed the store, grabbing a couple six packs and some more coolers. He also grabbed a bag of chips, some candy, and a smoothie that he knew she liked. She kissed him again for that, pressing his back against the freezer. His hands found her ass, her fingers tangled in his hair and played with his earring, and they didn’t stop until he mumbled something about getting frostbite in a place that would stop this from going much further into the sensitive skin of her neck. She laughed, pushing him away and squeezing her legs a little closer together as they walked over to the cash register. He pinched her ass while they waited in line, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her back flush against his chest. As punishment, she rolled her hips backwards, grinding them against his front subtly, making him groan. Served him right, trying to tease her. Little asshole.

He payed fast, practically throwing money at the cashier, grabbed (y/n) around the knees, throwing her over his shoulder. She shrieked, laughing and kicking and smacking his back.

“Put me down you idiot!” She laughed. “What the hell Jeff?” She bumped his stomach with her knee, causing him to grunt.

“Ow.”

“Whoops.” She said sarcastically. “Put me down.”

Don’t move so much babe, I’m gonna drop the beer.” He nudged her hip with his chin, shifting the heavy box between his hands.

“Maybe if you put me down I could help carry stuff.” She rolled her eyes at his antics, but she was blushing and enjoying her lovely view of his ass.

“Just enjoy the view babe.” He teased, approaching the car. “Shit you’re heavy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thanks honey, I love you too.”

He put the beer on top of the car and put her down, barely giving her a second to adjust to the change in gravity before he had her back pressed against the car door, fingers tunneling into her hair as he kissed her. She laughed against his mouth, running her hands over his chest, and then pushed him away gently.

“Baby,” he groaned, bumping his hips gently against hers.

“We can’t,” she shook her head, breathless. “Gotta take the beer back, then check on Clay and Hannah, drive them home, and then we can go home and–” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, mind wandering to why exactly they could do when they got home.

His eyes widened when he saw where her mind was going. “Really?” He asked, voice husky.

She nodded. “But we’ve gotta go fast, before I change my mind.”

“Fuck yes.” He lunged forward, gave her one more rough kiss, and then all but forced her into the car. He grinned as he got into the driver’s seat, right hand settling on her thigh. “I’m gonna get you home so fast your head will spin.” He promised, fingers tapping a beat against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. “But after, we’re doing this shit slow.”

She laughed as he jerked the car into gear, peeling out of the parking lot. The tires actually squeaked, and she heard the beer sliding in the back seat.

“Slow down Jeff!” She laughed, grabbing the door handle for support as he took a sharp turn. “You know we have to be alive to–”

Something hit the floor, glass clinking, and she swore, twisting in her seat. Jeff slowed down considerably, both because they were approaching a busier street and because she was undoing her seatbelt.

“What are you doing?”

“The beer’s gonna fall.” She shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it, put your seatbelt on.” He looked down at her as she twisted in the seat, climbing over the plastic space between the two seats to reach the back. “Seriously babe. It’s not safe for you to be doing that. Crap.” He twisted the wheel violently to make the turn onto a backroad as they drew closer to Jessica’s house.

“Shit!” she swore. “Jeff keep your eyes on the road.”

“Maybe if you stayed in your seat you wouldn’t be bumping around back there.” He shot a look at her, getting an eyeful of her jean-clad ass. “Why am I complaining again?” He turned his attention back to the road.

“It’s fine.” She groaned, twisting back into her seat, the box of drinks in her hands. “See? I got it.” She smiled at him.

“So flexible.” He winked at her, slowing down at the intersection. “Come on baby put your seatbelt on.”

“Alright alright,” she nodded, balancing the box of beer onto the dashboard and twisting to put on her seatbelt. “You’re such a mom Jeff you know that?”

“Come on you love it.” He looked at her in the mirror as he sped up again. “But I mean, I prefer being called–”

Everything happened really fast. One second he was making an innuendo, the next another car sped through the intersection, slamming into the back of the car. They fishtailed, cars sliding on the wet asphalt, and (y/n) screamed. Jeff spun the wheel, slamming on the brakes, as the car slid towards the concrete barrier. They both jerked forward, (y/n) slamming into Jeff’s outstretched arm. The beer slid off the dashboard and slammed into (y/n)’s legs. The car slid to a stop, and they both sat there, panting.

Jeff swallowed, looking over at (y/n) who was staring at him with wide eyes. She didn’t seem aware of the sticky beer splashed across her chest, stomach and lap, or the metal can balancing on her knee. Her knuckles were white, wrapped around the armrest of the door, and all the blood had rushed from her face. He lowered his arm, resting his hand on her knee. He tightened his grip on her thigh until his hand stopped shaking.

“A-are you,” Jeff swallowed, “Are you okay?”

She nodded, still looking at him with wide eyes.

“You sure?” He looked down at the beer in her lap. “Babe you’re covered in beer.”

She nodded again. “Baby, did you–” she ran a shaky hand through her hair, “did you just soccer mom me?”

“What?” He laughed, a sharp, nervous bark, but it was enough. They both started breathing again. She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the headrest, and he started running his thumb over her thigh, his other hand releasing a death grip he didn’t realize he had on the doorknob. “Holy fuck. Are you okay?”

She blinked, running her hand through her hand again. “I um, no. My legs really fucking hurt.”

“Seriously?” Jeff put the car in park and took off his seatbelt, turning in his seat. “Shit what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just– oh my god!” She pointed at the window and Jeff jumped, twisting in his seat. His heart skipped a beat when he saw an old man tap on the glass of his window. He swallowed, turning to look at (y/n), who shrugged, eyes like saucers. He turned back to the window, keeping his hand on her leg.

“Um, hi?” He rolled down the window.

“Are you alright?” The old man asked, looking onto the car with a face full of concern. “I’m so sorry! I was on the phone, I wasn’t looking, I- I’m so sorry. Are you two okay?” He leaned forward to get a closer look at (y/n), making Jeff’s grip tighten on her thigh. “Are you okay honey?”

(Y/n) nodded shakily. “Are- are you okay sir?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me sweetheart. Are you sure you two are alright?” The old man was practically shaking as he looked between the two of them, wringing phone between his hands in guilt. He reminded Jeff of his own granddad. “We should call 911.”

Jeff shook his head. His seventeen year old girlfriend was probably still a little buzzed, and he wasn’t sure what his blood alcohol content was. He knew he was okay to drive, and that he hadn’t done anything wrong, but he didn’t want to risk it. “We’re okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, listen I- I dented the back of your car. I should pay for the damage.” The man reached for his wallet. “I can–”

“That’s okay.” Jeff interrupted, but the man wouldn’t be stopped.

“Give me your home number at least. I’ll get in touch with your parents, we’ll figure this out.”

The man wouldn’t take no for an answer, and Jeff eventually gave in. The two swapped contact information, and Jeff called his parents, explaining what had happened and letting the man talk to them. Jeff turned his attention back to his girlfriend, who was sitting quietly in the passenger seat.

“Are you okay?” He asked, half inside the car, leaning over the driver’s seat to look at her. “You’ve got glass and crap on you.”

“I’m fine.” She nodded.

He couldn’t tear his eyes off the glass littering her lap, the drying beer and streaks of blood from where the glass had cut her up. “Baby–”

“I promise I’m okay.” She nodded again. “My eyes are up here Jeff.” He chuckled softly, more to humour her than anything else, and tore his eyes up to meet hers. They were wide and shiny with nervous tears, and he reached out and took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I love you.” He said quietly, trying to put as much meaning as he could into the three words they had been tossing around casually all night. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She gave him a watery smile, squeezing his hand. “I’m okay. I promise.”

Four hours later, after the cops and ETM had cleared them to go home, and (y/n)’s parents had taken her home to pick up some stuff, she was in his room, lying on his bed. Their parents had allowed them to have a sleepover, the first one they knew about, after what had happened. It wasn’t even a dangerous accident, but everyone was freaked out. (Y/n)’s parents approved of him, and while her dad was obviously not thrilled by the sleepover, all four parents had agreed that the two of them needed this. And while Jeff wanted to convince everyone that he was fine and that nothing was wrong, he wasn’t going to argue with a parent-approved night spent with his girlfriend.

At first (y/n) had stood hesitantly in his doorway, her hands playing nervously with the strap of her duffel bag. “I um, I know we had… other plans for tonight, but,” she sighed.

“Hey,” He laughed softly, getting off the bed and walking over to her, pulling her into a hug with his right arm. His left shoulder was sore from the jerk of his seat belt. “You’re on a crapton of pain killers because of your legs, and I’ve got a sore shoulder, plus, you know, we almost died earlier, so get in my bed and cuddle with me.”

She smiled. “You’re not upset we’re not gonna do anything else?”

“My parents are in the other room with their ears to the door probably, so we weren’t gonna get much done anyway.” He shrugged. When she rolled his eyes and smacked his chest he pulled her tighter against his side and kissed the top of her head. “It’s fine baby. I just wanna hold you.”

“You’re perfect.” She mumbled, looking up at him and smiling. “I love you Jeff.”

He leaned forward and kissed her gently, sliding both arms around her waist and pulling her tight against him, ignoring the twinge of pain through his shoulder. Her hands slid up his stomach, grabbing fistfuls of the loose t-shirt he was wearing and tugging his closer. He felt her shiver against him and pulled away, looking down in concern. Her bottom lip quivered and his eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong beautiful?”

“I–” Her voice cracked, and tears spilled out of her eyes. She hid her forehead in his chest. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I just, I–” her breath hitched. “I just can’t shake this feeling that something really bad just happened.”

“Why?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding her close. “Baby we’re fine. Everything’s okay.”

“I know but– but–” she shuddered, a sob slipping free as she slid her arms around his waist.

Jeff walked backwards, pulling her with him until they reached the bed. He sat down, tugging her into his lap, and wrapped his arms around her waist. She buried her face in the space where his neck met his shoulder and cried.

“We’re okay,” he said quietly, running his fingers up and down her spine. “We’re both fine. My shoulder’s gonna be sore for a couple weeks, and you’re gonna be kinda bruised, and probably not be able to wear shorts for a while, which now that I think about it is actually pretty terrible I take back everything I just said this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to us.”

She laughed, sniffling, and wiped her eyes. “Shut up dummy.”

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. “See? We’re okay.”

She nodded, wiping her eyes. “Yeah. I’m sorry, I just, I can’t imagine losing you.”

“Well you’re not going to, so problem solved.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m not going anywhere okay baby? And I promise I’m gonna drive safer, and I’m never gonna scare you like this any more okay?”

“It wasn’t your fault.” She shook her head, wiggling out of his lap and lying down. She grabbed his snuggle-pillow and wrapped her arms around it. “It was just scary you know? I thought we were gonna hit the concrete, and I could just see it, I could see smoke, and, and blood, and you weren’t moving, and–” her eyes welled up with tears again.

Jeff lay down on his side, propping himself up on his arm. “Come here.”

She moved forward so he could wrap his arm around her waist. “I’m sorry,” she shrugged, sniffling again, “I’m okay, I’ll be fine. I just want you to hold me.”

“Well that I can do.” Jeff smiled softly, laying down on his back. “Oh wait, hang on a second.” She moved back, giving him room to sit up. He tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it across the room, then winked at her. She snorted and he wiggled his eyebrows. “How much does this make you feel better?” He asked, flexing his chest and arms.

She laughed softly. “Much better. Thank you baby.”

He lay back down, kissing the tip of her nose, and patted his chest. “Come here to me honey.” He dropped his voice and wiggled his eyebrows again. (Y/n) giggled and rested her head on top of his chest, sliding her hands around his waist and hooking one leg over both of his. He wrapped his arms around her back, one hand reaching up to play with the ends of her hair while the other rubbed soothing circles against her hip. He kissed the top of her head.

“I love you Jeff Atkins.” (Y/n) mumbled sleepily.

He hummed, his chest rumbling. “I love you too beautiful. So much. And I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

[thewackywriter]

Not Anymore Blurb

Jeff Atkins x Y/N

A/N: This was requested by @themadhatter1996 !! This was my first time writing for Jeff and I really enjoyed it!! Thanks for requesting, hope you like it!

MASTERPOST

WRITING PROMPTS

ASK/REQUEST

14, 19, & 34 - Jeff Atkins

14. “‘Go away’ is just a lonely person’s way of saying, ‘show me that you care enough to stay’.”

19. “You never should have died like this.”

34. “You look cute with a baby bump!”

He was always on her mind. When she woke up, when she went to sleep, when she was eating, showering. He was always there, taunting her. She knew that she should have gone to that party, but she thought it was be pretty obvious if she just didn’t drink the whole time, and she wasn’t ready for everyone to find out yet. Too late.

As soon as she had gotten the news, she had sped over to the scene and collapsed when she saw his limp form hanging from the car door.

“You never should have died like this,” she would say every time she visited his gravestone. She gently rubbed her stomach as she spoke, “You didn’t even get to meet your child. Our child.” She heard footsteps behind her but didn’t look up. She knew exactly who it was. He had been approaching her and keeping tabs every since the accident. She understood, he was her boyfriend’s old best friend, but enough was enough.

“What do you want, Clay? Can you just go away, I want to be alone.” The footsteps didn’t stop until the were right behind her, and she felt a hand press into her shoulder.

“‘Go away’ is just a lonely person’s way of saying, ‘show me that you care enough to stay’.” She angrily stood and whipped around, glaring daggers at the person in front of her.

“Of course I’m alone! Nobody cares! They all just pretend they do, give me compliments and faking sympathy. ‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’ ‘You look cute with a baby bump!’ ‘Jeff was such a great guy.’ Yeah, well if he was such a great guy, why did he have to die.” They both seemed surprised by her words,  before she stumbled backwards.

“He’s dead. Jeff. My sweet Jeff is dead.” She fell to her knees as tears overcame her body. “I really am all alone.”

She was surprised to feel two arms wrap around her as her body shook with sobs, the voice whispering to her, “Not anymore.”

[jeffatk1ns]

Not The One - Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request - “ do ya mind writing one either about jeff being good/best friends with the reader & he’s drunk in a party so girls try to flirt but he simply says they’re not the reader & starts looking for her or the reader confesses she likes him but he leaves for some time bcos he doesn’t know how to react but comes back & kisses her passionately “

“I’m just really not sure, Jeff, i mean there’s going to be so many people and it’ll be crowded as hell, the weather is meant to be bad, anyways.” You sighed, walking down the hall in front of your best friend Jeff.

“Remember that time you called me at 3am because Buttons was throwing up everywhere, and i came to help you and you said you owed me? I’d like to cash in that favour, please.” Jeff smirked.

“For some stupid party? Why?”

Then, he got down on his knees and flashed you the puppy dog face which he knew you couldn’t resist. “Pweasee.”

“Get up!” You grabbed his arms and pulled him up. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Is that a yes?”

“If that means you’ll stop drawing attention to us.” You said through gritted teeth, dragging him along next to you. He gave a starlit smile indicating he was over the moon.

—–

Just like you’d expected, the place was crowded and the suffocating stench of alcohol and hormones permeated everywhere. Jeff had arrived before you, so you decided the first plan of action was to find him.

You spotted him leaning on a cabinet in the corner talking to a girl. The dazed look indicated that he was already pissed, you weren’t sure you wanted to talk to him until you’d had a little alcohol yourself. So you headed to the bar and poured your drink of choice.

“Y/N! You made it!” A few drinks later Jeff was staggering up to you. He put his hand on the counter beside you, cornering you in with his close proximity and smelling strongly of Tequila. You, yourself we’re feeling tipsy so this wasn’t an issue, and if you were honest, sober you wouldn’t have minded much either.

“Steady there, Jeff.” You giggled, gripping his arm to centre him.

“You look very pretty.” He slurred in a somewhat whisper. He was close enough that you could hear.

“Don’t I always?” You joked.

“Yes, but I don’t always tell you because… I’m shy.” He chuckled in that drunk way.

“You’re silly.”

“I know.”

“We’ve been best friends for an eternity, you shouldn’t be shy in front of me.” You reached up and touched his hair absentmindedly.

“You wouldn’t understand…” He trailed off, his head lulling and landing on your shoulder.

“I think you may even be drunker than me.” You snorted, supporting his head with your hands. “Jeff there’s something I need to tell you…”

He snapped his head up, as though a lightbulb lit up above him. “I never spoke to Zach!”

You laughed at him once more, concealing the hurt that he’d just ignored you entirely and tapped his shoulder with a ‘go find Zach’, before he sauntered off through the people to find his friend.

Jeff had become scared that you’d say something he didn’t want to hear, and his reflex was to run away, he needed to come up with a game plan. Zach was always happy to help him. However, Jeff lost his train of thought halfway through the house, and found himself stopped by one brunette girl who’s name he couldn’t put his finger on.

“Hey Jeff.” She swooned. “Looking good.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, not one to be rude.

“So, how have you been recently?”

The conversation was menial, and Jeff’s memory for it was gone up until they both ended up sat on a couch outside. By then, he’d been joined by two more girls, a blonde, and one who he remembered may have been called G/N.

“That shirt really does suit you.” The original brunette purred, casually throwing a leg over his.

He looked confused down at the limb, but honestly, still didn’t think much of it.

G/N had shot her a dirty look, while the blonde tried nearing Jeff on the other side of the sofa.

“I’m gonna be honest Jeff. I think you’re so hot and… I really like you.” The brunette stroked his jaw.

“Hey!” G/N screeched. “I thought we agreed I was gonna get him tonight?” Meanwhile the blonde still edged even closer.

“Look, girls…” Jeff started, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m flattered, but I sort of like someone else…”

And with the protesting moans of the three girls, he stood up and moved in the direction of the house, on the hunt for the girl he really wanted.

“Jeff!” The blonde girl ran up behind him. “I get it. But we can just make out or… something else…” she pulled at his shirt collar.

He moved her hand simply and deadpanned; “You’re not Y/N.”

“Y/N?!” she spat with disgust. But Jeff didn’t hear the rest, for he’d already left her behind.

That’s when he saw you. He’d sobered since you’d last spoken (not entirely, of course) and although he’d be too scared to do this stone cold, he was clear in what he was doing. You were dancing by yourself in the middle of an almost empty room, as most of its occupants had migrated to bedrooms. Carefree, gorgeous, and totally independent, he was reminded of all the reasons he’d fallen for you in the first place.

You saw him, and lifted your hand in a wave. Except, he’d sped over to you, taken that hand in his, and collided his lips with yours.

You’d expected him to taste of Tequila and forgotten nights of the past not to be revisited, but instead his flavour was of raspberry sorbet- sweet and tangy and you just wanted more, more, more. Your fingers tangled up into his hair, matted slightly by spilt beer but otherwise smooth and clean. His found the small of your back and your waist. The poppy music in the background slowed and muted as though you were hearing it underwater, all your senses utterly overtaken by this earth shattering kiss.

Every time you’d dreamed this, you’d expected there to be some discourse over the fact he was your best friend and it was weird, but everything fit. It didn’t feel wrong at all. It felt like finally, you’d both found your missing half.

When, after god knows how long, you finally broke apart, your forehead found his and your two contrasting gasps for breath filled the space.

“Wow.” You only just got out. You were drunk. Not from the alcohol, but from Jeff.

“In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” He chuckled breathlessly, still gripping your waist with one hand, tucking hair behind your ear with the other. “Even after I had to clean up Buttons’ vomit at 3am.”

“Me too. Forever.” You grinned, as you and Jeff basked in each other’s adoration, and the feeling of something dormant finally coming into bloom.