#jitterbuggin

[ollydee]

JITTERBUGGIN has begun in earnest! Written by me, Olly Dee! Illustrated by the amazing @yellow-flamingo-art! Free to see--come check it out!

[jitterbuggin]

A look at the main character of Jitterbuggin.

[comesatimecomesashadow]

spiderverse masterlist *ೃ༄

note *ೃ༄ read my rules to request something.

key *ೃ༄ ❀ = fluff| ❖ = angst| ★ = tw| ❤︎ = comfort| ✦ = series | ♣︎ = request

hobie brown *ೃ༄

none yet !

spider noir *ೃ༄

none yet !

ೃ' . ⁀➷ in which . . peter spends the night jitterbuggin' with his best friend.

main masterlist *ೃ༄

[copaceticjillybean]

[ STEP ] (A mother-son dance goes horribly wrong? With Phel it's inevitable)

Jillian bites back a quiet noise of discomfort, as she feels her son’s foot meet the top of her own for what she believes to be the 3rd time now.

When she’d asked Phel to let her have a dance with him, she’d known there was a chance her son’s tall height might make things difficult, but she’d shrugged that off due to having been able to dance reasonably well with both Caim and Andrealphus at another ball.

What she hadn’t counted on, however, was the irrefutable fact that her son wasn’t just very tall- he had 2 left feet.

The 4th time, Jillian couldn’t stop herself from giggling, giving Phel an amused grin, “Oh dear- I guess we can confidently take jitterbuggin’ off ya long list of talents, huh Phella?”

[flipchin]

The next swing dance party at SLIM Fitness is on September 10, 2022. Discount tickets are on Eventbrite at: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/september-swing-dance-party-tickets-395715825687 Here is the Facebook event page: https://fb.me/e/1zH4DGImv * Instagram does not have clickable links, so copy and paste the links above, or do a search on Eventbrite for "September Swing Dance Party!" to access the advanced discount ticket link. #swing #swingdancing #swingdancelessons #lindylessons #lindyhoppers #lindy #lindyhop  #jitterbug #jitterbuggin #danceevents #dancers #Newark #fremont #vintagelifestyle #swingdancelesson #lindyhoplife #lindyhop #lindyhopworkshop #lindyhopworkshops #rockabillydancing #rockabillydancelessons #unioncity #danceworkshop  #jitterbugweekend #swingdanceworkshop #swingdanceworkshops #swing #swingdance #swingdancing #lindyhop #dancelessons #dancepartytime (at SLIM Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgzkMbwpMtU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[gotmilk5101520]

3Below: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 4 Beetle Mania

The only bug infestation i had to deal with are ants.

“Come on!”

“Wait. Hey, hey”

“Hello?”

“Is anyone there?”

“This isn’t the least bit funny”

“Ahh!”

“Okay, mug. We’re only gonna do this once”

“Are you ready to talk?”

“Quit your jitterbuggin”

“you gashouse palooka”

“We can either do this the hard way-”

“Or the very hard way”

“What?”

“No one messes with our children without messing with us”

“first” Parents are scary.

“Ugh! What is that horrendous stench?”

“Must be the smell of fear” Don’t let the goblins catch you.

“I come in peace”

“and all that jazz” We come in peace Earthlings.

“I wanna be you when i mentally grow up” Don’t we all?

“Originally, i’m from Durio”

“The stinkiest planet in the universe!” I wanna know what it smells like.

“What?”

“Our refrigerator is running”

“Jeez. Is this place up to code?” They really did the joke.

This is what my sister does to me after washing her hands.

“Don’t make me dump heap you, Krel!”

“That didn’t even make sense” Siblings

“Oh! Here we go”

“Ah! Here we go”

“Oh!”

“Well, who’s fault is it that i was out for a week? That was almost as weird as the time i saw two boys on their bikes running from some weird big dog. I think it was a dog”

“That’s the wonderful thing about Earth, you know”

“You can be whoever you wanna be” If you’re rich.

“Screwing in a light bulb”

“Step 1: Find a friend” Step 2: Let them do it.

“How many humans does it take to screw in a light bulb?” I know the answer. The whole race. One to screw in the light bulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too. Stop ignoring me.

“It’s called a boom box”

“Nah, it’s not exactly the portable music that the kids are into these days” Kids these days with phones and their Spotify.

“You two will be late for academic prison” Perfect name for school.

Extra fluffy doggo.

“Aja! I posted your epic Steve take-down”

“on my Facespace” Is that what you call Facebook these days?

“Nice boom box, Kevin” Kevin Tarron.

“Tell me something, barfbag”

“Is your sister seeing anybody?”

“She can see everybody”

“Her vision is excellent”

“No, i mean...”

“Daahh”

“Forget it!” That’s not what “Seeing anybody” means.

And no one saw it.

“45 seconds. And start”

“What?”

“Dodge!”

And no one saw that.

Bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! MY EYES!

“You heard Morando. They’re as good as dead”

“Lies”

“Never trust Morando. He lies as much as that other dictator wannabe. Donald Dump i think?”

“You’re always on these things”

“Hey, my phone!”

“Less emojis”

“More emotion” Krel has a point.

“Ew! Flying cockroaches!”

“Last week, the teachers coffee got spiked, and now this?” Wait the Trollhunters episode Bad Coffee was a week ago? I have more questions about the timeline here than in Miraculous Ladybug.

Krel is on his way to beat Marinette in stealing phones.

“Just remember, sister”

“You’re the one who brought them here!”

“Aja, did you really do this?”

“Ah, attention, students and faculty”

“Due to unexpected circumstances”

“Classes are”

“cancelled!”

“Yes!”

“Aja, you just saved my butt”

”I was gonna fail that quiz” Aja saved everyone from academic prison.

“My glasses! I can’t see without my glasses”

“Choose your weapon” RPG’s are like that.

“Not to brag, but, uh,”

“my career prediction test said”

“that i’d make an awesome”

“exterminator”

“Scepter”

“My scepter!”

“Uh, you might wanna trade me for this bat”

“Bats are great for battling bugs”

“Yeah, just”

“give it to me”

“We’ll never be apart again”

“I love you”

“She’s like a ninja-kicking”

“angel”

“I mean, she- she kicks ninjas, but she’s angel”

“KING PALCHUK!’

“I’m back, baby”

“WHOO!”

“I think the oaf with the golden hair favors me above other humans” Is that what you call has a crush on you?

“But you kicked him in the face”

“Human boys are peculiar” Just wait till you meet Jim.

New 3Below meme template. Who dis?

“Hey, Claire-Bear. what’s up?” “Mary, listen to me. I’m not sure how it happened, but i’m all the way on the other side of the world and this is the only phone call i can make”

“Play that horrible sound again”

“Huh? My ringtone?”

“Call you back” “What? No, no, no, no!“ ”Love you” “ Wait!” ”Mean it” “This is my only phone cal-”

“You sucking weapon is nearly at capacity” Is that what you guys say after... Never mind.

“Luug”

“Unleash your intestinal”

“fury!” Dogs butts save the day.

“Ha!”

This is what it’s like to go mad with power.

“Should we bring this thing back home, or do you think Stuart has things under control”

“We should go” “Definitely go!” The wise choice.

“It went in my mouth!” What does it taste like?

“Today, together”

“we will take Akiridion-5′s rightful place in the universe”

“as the superpower it always should have been”

“Take this”

“The ring will signal you as member of the Resistance”

“Trust me”

“Hey, how many Akiridions does it take to build a Daxial Array?” Do i need to repeat the answer?

“Ah... They’re here”

Ants are not fun.

And i’m gonna crash.

[riddle-me-grits]

Swingin’ at the Iceberg Lounge | a neo/electro-swing gotham rogues mix

You’ll never take me alive, baby!

WHAT’S HAPPENED TO SOHO? - The Correspondents (oh, oh, where will all the reprobates go?) | PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ - Cherry Poppin' Daddies (Penguin) | DIE HOUSE - Caleb Hyles (Two-Face) | CLOSER - Lemaitre (Catwoman) | SHOOT HIM DOWN! - Alice Francis (Harley Quinn) | GANGSTA’S PARADISE - Postmodern Jukebox (Poison Ivy) | CAN’T REPEAT THE PAST - The Bryan Ferry Orchestra (Mr. Freeze) | LET’S FACE IT (I’M CUTE) - 11 Acorn Lane (The Riddler) | LOVE IS THE DRUG - The Bryan Ferry Orchestra (The Scarecrow) | TIME FOR TEA - 11 Acorn Lane (The Mad Hatter) | CARTOONS AND VODKA - Jinkx Monsoon (Baby Doll) | BAD WATER - AronChupa (Killer Croc) | MAN WITH THE HEX - The Atomic Fireballs (Ra’s al-Ghul) | DANCE OF THE MARIONETTES - Minimatic (The Ventriloquist) | THRILLER - Postmodern Jukebox (Man-Bat) | OLD KING TUT - Stephen DeRosa (King Tut) | MOVING PICTURES - Dan Bull (Clayface) | THE MASK - Lyre Le Temps (Bane) | JITTERBUGGIN’ - Electro Swing Sessions Band (Firefly and Killer Moth) | MR. CAPRAS ENCOUNTERS A SECONDHAND VANITY - Will Wood and the Tapeworms (Joker crashes the party) | THE BATSWING - Varrick Frost & BMVT (...and led the Bat right to ‘em) | LET’S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE - Right Said Fred

[8tracks] | [spotify] | [other batmixes]

[obscureoldscotspoems]

The Lassies

O, Rabbie, frae thy throne o' grace, Ayont the mists o' time an' space, Could ye but see what's takin' place                   Upon this sphere. The modern lass, wi' sartorial taste                   She's unco queer.

The lassies aince, they earned your praise In prose an' poetry, songs an' lays But wae's me, Rab, it's altered days                   They've caused a steer Noo they're hardly worth twa staves                     O' rhymin gear.

The lassies noo, t'wad gar ye greet Wi' foreigners strut thru' the street It scunners me, the dames tae meet                     An mak's me flamin' A Scotsman noo is nae worth a neep                     Wi' his ain weemin.

The winsome wenches o' your days Had nae much choice as regairds their claes But what they had, they wore wi' grace                    'Tis plain tae see That quid hame spun, weel-trimm't wi' lace                   It pleased your e'e.

Dame Fashion noo, has got a squint The coat o' Joseph ne'er was in't 'T'wad bamboozle ye, the shape an' tint                         The padded shuthers Wi' female attire, they're nae content                      They noo wear troosers.

Their lips they stain a scarlet hue The hair frae oot their e'ebroos pu' Their faces slabber up like glue                    Wi' cream an' pent Wi' finger-nails t'wad gar ye grue                    Like talons bent.

Come nicht, they're aff, some puir fule luggin' Tae spend their time in jitterbuggin' Or else in cinemas sit huggin'                 Some feckless loon Swoonin' when they hear Sinatra gurglin'                     Wi' mournfu' croon.

I often wonder what ye'd think Gin ye were here tae tak' a blink O' oor peen-ups, oor glamour tink                   They'd fyle your e'en Ye'd pass them by, withoot a wink                      Tae meet thy Jean.

But we hae lassies, as in your days Richt soncy queans bewitch'd wi' grace Alangside yours they'd tak' their place                       Wi' wit an' beauty But Rab, they're few an' gey faur spaced                        An' mair's the peety.

James Thomson, Fankerton, Denny.

Date unknown. Probably sometime in the 1950s.

[yourdisappointedarms]

“Jitterbug Jesus Tiempos is longin' lookin' for third world laughter to break out like a pimple on the face of a pimp of youthful latino eyes that chase el ritmo del güiro en lo vagones del tren on school mornin' shoutin' broken spanish dream — si tü cocina como tu mamá como hasta el pegao jitterbuggin' in wrinkled worn out jeans bailando new found pride in bein' nuyoricano . . . on their piss stained streets where teens meet in head on collision claimin' colors on concrete cemetary slums slums that vomit screamin' rumblin' tongues ramblin' for a crust of welfare cheese . . . here in this aroma of arroz y habichuela-tostones-pasteles . . . two triple culture lovers meet/embrace & tremblin' hands lift pleated shirt — break an elastic band. in this cocaine drenched hallway that has passed broken wine bottles & broken bulbs & broken homes & broken souls & the two lovers meet/reach out for each other under the view of a million cucarachas their pulsin' bodies vibrate droppin' droplets of sweat petals a river of nourishment for the rats scurryin' across cracked mural walls graffiti screamin' profanity under this ghetto umbrella a brown baby king is born Jesús Jesús Rodriguez who talked with his father on a garden firescape walked across the east river on empty beer cans changed six barrels of dope into a finely blended rum was stoned out of school will be crucified on a set of works & will be crowned King of the Dope-Fiends . . .” #miguelpiñero #peurtorican #american #nuyorican #playwright #poet #actor #nuyoricanpoetscafe #deathanniversary #practicedying (at Cuyahoga River) https://www.instagram.com/p/Byx1U0JhA3O/?igshid=147gzhl68gn49

[ollydee]

(via Jitterbuggin -- Chapter 1)

So I’m writing the thing I’ve probably read the most in my life: a modern faerie tale. Check it out!

[krispyweiss]

Song Review: Louden Wainwright III with Vince Giordano and the Nighthawks - “You Rascal You (I’ll be Glad When You’re Dead)”

Although big-band swing hasn’t previously been his thing, Louden Wainwright III is perfectly comfortable jumpin’ and jivin’ on “You Rascal You (I’ll be Glad When You’re Dead).”

Wainwright pulls out a big, powerful voice on this remake of Sam Theard’s 1929 novelty track. And with a big, powerful band behind him, the track lands a big, powerful audio guffaw.

You asked my wife to wash your clothes you rascal you/you asked my wife to wash your damn, dirty clothes you rascal you/you asked my wife to wash your clothes and something else I suppose/I’ll be glad when you’re dead you rascal you, Wainwright sings over the jitterbuggin’ jazz of Vince Giordano and the Nighthawks.

“You Rascal You (I’ll be Glad When You’re Dead)” follows “A Ship Without a Sail” as the second single from I'd Rather Lead a Band. Out Oct. 9, the LP is “a loose, fresh and ‘anti-nostalgic’ take on classic songs from the 1920s and ’30s,” per Wainwright.

Finally - something to look forward to in 2020.

Grade card: Louden Wainwright III with Vince Giordano and the Nighthawks - “You Rascal You (I’ll be Glad When You’re Dead)” - A

8/7/20

[elliebear75]

Remember when we hung in the low places in 1979?

We used to think that it mattered to the man with the money

Where we spent our time

Well, I knew a little gal with a mohawk hairdo

And a chain around her neck

But you'd never recognize her if you saw her now

She done something that you'd never expect

She done traded in her Doc's for kicker boots

Safety-pinned tee shirts for Manuel Suits

Her hair's grown out and it's piled up high

She only shows her tattoos one at a time

She ain't ashamed of the way she was

She hears old Hank, she can't get enough

Her punk rock records are gathering dust

'Cos little Ramona's gone hillbilly nuts

Thrashin' dancin' still out there, the bodies piled up high

She used to mosh in pit with the best of them

You could see those elbows fly

Well now she's drinking Blue Ribbon and jitterbuggin'

To the honky-tonkin' beat

Get that line dance outta here man

Give her room to move her feet

You see her in thrift stores everywhere,

Hardly ever at a shopping mall

She acts just as tough as she always did

She just looks a little country, that's all

She's got Emmylou Patty Smity on a 90-minute cassette

'Cause where do you go after the end of the world

When you still ain't been there yet?

Little Ramona's gone hillbilly nuts

Little Ramona's gone hillbilly nuts

[michalangelom-blog]

The Story Chapter 4: War In Haeven

On the backs of dancing rainbow unicorns (yes, even Harold was sitting on a dancing rainbow unicorn), the group travelled through the liquorice jungle. On their sides, gummy monkeys were swinging along on candy vines.

Suddenly some random gummy bears appeared on their path and without hesitation, Dikkie jumped off her rainbow unicorn and jumped at the gummy bears in an attempt to catch and eat them. She wasn’t lucky, however, as the group of gummy bears split and ran away in all directions, disappearing between the peach-shield-thingy bushes.

Disappointed, Dikkie climbed back on her rainbow unicorn, who was doing all sorts of awesome groove moves when Dikkie was off his back, like the Drunken Unicorn and the Drunken Banana.

The group went on when Dikkie was ready. It didn’t take long before they reached the edge of the jungle. An enormous sandstone tower with two side towers on each side was towering high over them. The central tower had a lone window, almost at the top, and on top of the tower, a sphere was floating, the Haevenly Sphere. Just underneath that ball was the Eternal Cloud, but it would not be wise to put your nude pictures up there, since they would be falling right through. Perhaps they would even fall on somebody’s head, and photo frames are pretty hard. It is, by the way, not very clever to upload nudes to a cloud, or to even have those kinds of pictures. Delete them from your phone, quickly! If you really want to show your heavenly body to that certain person, just go to them, but don’t go showing it in public! Nobody wants to see those blobs of fat of yours! Just kidding! You are beautiful! Love you, bye!

 The group got off their rainbow unicorns and walked up to gates. They could hear the rainbow unicorns grooving to the music of Jungle Rock by Hanz Mizell.

           “I was walkin' through the jungle just the other night! Well, I heard a big rumble and I thought it was a fight! We were lost and we listened and began to move my feet! It was a jungle drum a, doin' a knocked out beat! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A knocked out beat and I had to move my feet! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! Well, I moved a little closer just to get a better view! I saw a chimp and a monkey a-doin' the Suzie Q! Well, a gator and a hippo was-a doin' the bop! While a great big falcon was-a makin' me hop! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A knocked out beat and I had to move my feet! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle rock! Well, the fox grabbed the rabbit and did the bunny, hop! And all the fish stepped by and was a-cuttin' the rug! Well, a camel was a jitterbuggin' with a kangaroo! And the elephant was movin' with a ring, dang, doo! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A knocked out beat and I had to move my feet! It was a jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock! A jungle, jungle, jungle, jungle rock!”

 Through the window, the group could see the silhouetto of a man (Scaramouche! Scaramouche!), yet none of them could recognize him, until he started singing:

        “Please allow me to introduce myself! I'm a man of wealth and taste! I've been around for a long, long year! Stole many a man's soul to waste! And I was 'round when Jesus Christ! Had his moment of doubt and pain! Made damn sure that Pilate! Washed his hands and sealed his fate! Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my name! But what's puzzling you! Is the nature of my game! I stuck around St. Petersburg! When I saw it was a time for a change! Killed the czar and his ministers! Anastasia screamed in vain! I rode a tank! Held a general's rank! When the blitzkrieg raged! And the bodies stank! Pleased to meet you! Hope you guess my name, oh yeah! Ah, what's puzzling you! Is the nature of my game, oh yeah! (Woo woo, woo woo) I watched with glee! While your kings and queens! Fought for ten decades! For the gods they made! (Woo woo, woo woo) I shouted out! ‘Who killed the Kennedys?!’ When after all! It was you and me! (Who who, who who) Let me please introduce myself! I'm a man of wealth and taste! And I laid traps for troubadours! Who get killed before they reached Bombay! (Woo woo, who who) Pleased to meet you! Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah! (Who who) But what's puzzling you! Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby! (Who who, who who) Pleased to meet you! Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah! But what's confusing you! Is just the nature of my game! (Woo woo, who who) Just as every cop is a criminal! And all the sinners saints! As heads is tails! Just call me Curunír! 'Cause I'm in need of some restraint! (Who who, who who) So if you meet me! Have some courtesy! Have some sympathy, and some taste! (Woo woo) Use all your well-learned politenesse! Or I'll lay your soul to waste, mm yeah! (Woo woo, woo woo) Pleased to meet you! Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah! (Who who) But what's puzzling you! Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get down! (Woo woo, woo woo)” The shade took out a guitar and started his solo. Dudeludududuu dudeludududuu dududedii dududedii!

          “Who the fuck is ruining that Rolling Stones song?!” Twietie asked agitated. “How dares he?”

        “That is Saruman. There was a time when he would walk in the liquorice jungle, but now, he has a mind f metal,” Gandalf said.

        “Rolling Stones isn’t metal. It’s rock,” Twietie told him annoyed.

        “Alright, now he has a mind of metal and rock,” Gandalf tried. “Are you happy now?”

        “Of course not! That Sarubitch is ruining good music and now I will go and ruin his face.”

        “No, Saruman was the head of my Order and he is a Maia like me, so I shall be the one who will kick him out and ruin his face.” He prepared to destroy the triangular gates.

        “But I wanna ruin his face,” Twietie whined.

        “Too bad,” Gandalf said and he blasted a big fireball at the gates.

 There were only a couple of planks hanging from the hinges on one side of the gates. The other side was completely blown away, including the wall it was connected to. A purple bear with a walking cane walked through the gateway towards the group.

        “Welcome to Sunnytower, folks. I’m Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear, but please, call me Lo…” the bear tried to say before he was smashed away by Gandalf’s staff. The wizard stormed through the entrance hall, smashing all other tediz that came into his way.

        “We could also ruin his face together?” Twietie yelled to him, but Gandalf was already past the hall, so she just decided to go after him, and Linda, Jipkip and Isaac followed as well.

 When the rest turned around, they were being approached by a huge army of Stormtediz.

        “We are surrounded,” Haevenline said, scared.

        “Good, good, now in every direction fight we can, hmm hmm, ” Yoda said with a content smile, and he took his lightsaber.

        “But we don’t have any weapons,” Fattie said, upon which Yoda took a metal cylinder from his pockets and tossed it towards her.

        “Oh yeah!” she yelled when she caught the lightsaber. Beams as green as a banana sprung forth from their hilts, and they were ready for battle.

 What? What do you mean “Bananas are yellow”? Bananas aren’t yellow at all. Okay, well, yes, they are yellow, but not all the time. They can also be brown, but that is not the way you want them. Bananas are too good to become brown. Just ask the Doctor. So, bananas can also be green, but at that point, they aren’t quite as yummy, so you’d better let them ripen a little longer, so they become nice and yellow. Don’t let them lie around for too long, or else they will turn brown, and they’ll be not yummy again. Conclusion: Yellow bananas are the best, and green and brown bananas are both possible, and the sabers of Yoda and Fattie were as green as a banana. So let’s continue…

 Yoda and Fattie jumped towards the Stormtediz and began to slash them left to right and right to left and front to back and back to front. Sometimes even from front left to back right, or front right to back left. The laser blasters the Stormtediz had were no match for the speed and agility of the two lightsaber wielders and when the others picked up some blasters, they became unstoppable. It seemed to become an easy victory despite their original position and the Stormtediz were easily driven out of the Tower.

Just when everything seemed safe again, quite a number of spaceships came over the horizon towards them.

“Dropships they are,” Yoda said, growing worried. “More soldiers bring they will hmm hmm.”

They found some cover behind the walls to which the gates were previously attached. From their new positions, they aimed at the landing dropships to eliminate as many soldiers coming out of them as they could.

There came, however, just one sole man out of one of the ships. He was dressed in black and he had a computery thing attached to his chest. He wore a black helmet which looked like a longer version of a bicycle helmet from the back, but like a gas mask with shades from the front. The Doctor would have asked whether he was his mommy, if he’d been there, but he isn’t. Yet.

Slowly, the man called Darth Vader came walking towards them, his hand resting on his lightsaber hilt. Dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun. Dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun. Dun dun dudun dundun dududun. Dun dun dun dudududun. Dun dun dun dudun dun dudun.

 Meanwhile, Linda, Twietie, Jipkip, Isaac, and Gandalf were a couple of floors higher. Thirty-two to be exact. They were panting and they were huffing and puffing, but no building was blown down, and if that did happen, then the Tower would have been built ridiculously badly, and the group would have fallen and been buried in a big pile of debris, so it is a good thing that that wasn’t a result of their panting and huffing and puffing.

They were panting and huffing and puffing, if you want to know, because the girls were tired of running up all those stairs.

“Why… Hmmpft… Is that fucking… Hmffpt… Lift broken… Hmmpfht…?” Twietie had complained multiple times on the many flights of stairs.

        “The lift isn’t broken at all. I just like to take the stairs. You cannot blame me for running after me up the stairs, and not checking the lift,” Gandalf finally answered to her complaints. He was the only one who wasn’t tired.

The girls went to the lift doors, while Gandalf jumped up the next flight of stairs. The doors opened and four purple pigs, each with one horn, were flying in the shaft. They were attached by ropes to a platform underneath them.

        “Ooh, can you see those funny flying pigs too?” Jipkip asked, still drunk, for the jungle also contained alcoholic candy, so keep an eye on the children.

        Linda confirmed the existence of the purple flying pigs with one horn and she also told the girls that she thinks a lot about them in her spare time. That is because, when Linda was still a little girl (even though she still isn’t very big), she climbed a great, big tree. When she had almost reached the top, however, she stepped on a branch which broke off from under her. Without this foot support, Linda was doomed to fall, but that didn’t happen. She didn’t fall flat on the ground, far down below her, because a purple, flying pig with one horn caught her and put her safe down on the ground. Nobody believed her story about this miraculous save by this miraculous creature when she tried to tell it. “She probably read it in one of her books,” they would say, but Linda would never forget that cool, purple pig, certain that it was not a dream and that it did not come from a book, and so she thought about it often, like on the bicycle with her sister, who also was unable to believe her. And now, after all those long years, the existence of these funny creatures was finally confirmed.

One of the pigs spoke to her: “Treeclimber, my mother once, many years ago, saved you from a long fall, for she knew of your fate and your part in this quest. It has been foretold that a young group would save the beautiful Haeven of the sour darkness and that they would free the Haevenly folk and that Haeven would become yummy and sweet once again.”

“I am very grateful for your mother’s help and to honour her, I shall do everything I can to save this beautiful planet,” Linda answered. “To do that, however, we will have to go upstairs to defeat the woeful wizard and banish him from these lands.”

“Step on this plate and we shall carry you to the floor on which the wizard resides and from whence he brings woe to this world,” the pig said.

The girls stepped on the plate and in no time they were in Saruman’s room. He was drinking tea and Gandalf stood next to him.

“Dolores! Prepare some tea for our guests!” he yelled and on the other side of the big round chamber, behind some pillars, a pink spot could be seen, skipping left and right.

“Miss Exploded Cotton Candy? Could I have some Desperado’s instead of tea?” Jipkip asked with a hiccup.

After a few minutes,  a small woman, fully clad in pink, came walking towards them with some pink cups and two pink wineglasses floating in front of her.

“Wow! She really looks like an exploded cotton candy,” Isaac said when she saw Umbridge and she followed her statement up with “sorry sorry sorry” when she saw Umbridge’s not amused face.

Saruman, Twietie, Linda and Isaac received a cup of Earl Grey, because it has a great aftertaste. Jipkip got a wineglass filled to the brim with Desperado’s and Gandalf got a sweet red wine. Umbridge sat down on a (pink) chair and put using her pink spoon some pink sugar into her pink cup filled with pink tea.

Personally, I don’t really like Earl Grey. It tastes weird, and not good weird like this Story weird, but bad weird. It’s just too dull. I’d probably prefer Umbridge’s tea too. It’s probably raspberry or something fruity with pink fruits. I wouldn’t turn down some pink sugar either. It probably tastes great, plus, I need some sugar in my tea. I really like my tea sweet. It’s not weird at all for me if there are four teaspoons of sugar in a standard tea cup, and by standard I mean a 250-300 millilitres cup and not those tiny little cups which are clearly just fancy shot glasses with an ear used to shot hot beverages and thereby giving your tongue a seventh degree burn like only the fires of hell can, but luckily, we are in Haeven and everybody is drinking.

“May I have some tea? It is almost time for afternoon tea,” a voice said from a dark corner in the room. A hobbit was chained up to the wall.

        “Bilbo?” Gndalf asked.

        “Yes, Gandalf,” the hobbit answered. “I was just there in my little hobbit hole, preparing my second breakfast, when suddenly there was a knocking on my door, and you know how we are, Gandalf, us hobbits, we love getting visits, so I opened the door, and there they were, two Uruks, and they pulled a bag over my head and the next thing I know, I was here, chained to this wall.”

        “Saruman! How dare you enter the Shire and kidnap hobbits?” Gandalf said loudly, and the lights in the room ebbed away. “A wizard should know better!” Bilbo’s chains opened and he crawled through the room towards the kettle with tea.

        “Gandalf, he was but the first. Undoubtedly, you have heard what is going on. The Brotherhood is growing stronger and soon every planet in the universe will be ours, in every time of history and before, and in every time in the future and beyond,” Saruman said. “Behold what is happening outside and surrender to the will of the Brotherhood and perhaps you might be spared.”

 Dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun! Dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun! Dun dun dudun dun dun dududun! Dun dun dun dudududun! Dun dun dun dudun dun dudun! Darth Vader walked towards the group downstairs and Linda, Twietie, Isaac, Jipkip, Bilbo and Gandalf watched it happening through the window, way up in the tower.

        “Kch kch. Surrender now kch and join the Dark kch Side kch!” zei Darth Vader loudly and the entire planet was able to hear his voice.

        “Never!” Dikkie yelled firmly.

        “But kch kch we have kch cookies!” Vader proposed.

Mitchel was quite tempted by that offer, but she was stopped by the others.

        “Kch very well kch then,” Vader said and using force lightning, he blasted at the wall behind which the group was hiding. The explosion threw them into the hall and Darth Vader walked after them into the Tower to finish it while his cool dun dun dun dun dudun dun dudun kept playing.

        “Kch feel the kch wrath kch of the kch Dark kch Side kch!” he yelled and and lightning filled the hall. A large army of tediz followed him into the hall too and now it was looking really bleak for the group.

          “Do you see now, Gandalf? Your mission has failed. The Brotherhood has won. Surrender while you still can,” Saruman said. “Maybe I am able to stop the attack and perhaps your creatures will survive.”

Gandalf too saw that resistance was futile and he knew that it was his last and only chance to save his friends. He opened his mouth to speak when suddenly his beard started shaking, and Saruman’s too, and Linda’s, and Bilbo’s. Wait! Linda and Bilbo don’t even have beards! Whoops! And even the Tower began shaking.

        “The foundations are too damaged,” Twietie said terrified.

        “Abandon ship! Abandon ship!” Jipkip yelled. “Women and children first!” She ran around the room, screaming in a drunken panicked state.

        “No! The reinforcements have arrived!” Linda yelled when she looked through the window and saw that a whole lot of teddy bears were parachuting out of the Millennium Falcon. The first one on the ground was a brown teddy bear by the name of Theodore, the leader of the Resistance.

        “Hugs or destruction!” He yelled and the bears charged at the tediz.

Now it was the tediz who were outnumbered and trapped and victory seemed to be on the side of the girls and Yoda once again, and they sprung back into action. Saruman knew it was over for him and he tried to silently sneak off, but Twietie saw it and she punched him straight in the face. She took his staff and began swinging at him.

“THIS” WHAM! “IS!” FLATCH! “FOR!” WAKOW! “THE ROLLING!” SMASH! “STONES!” KABLAM! “BITCH!” she yelled as Saruman was being hit by the wood like a piñata. Candy flew through his larynx out of his mouth with each hit and the whole room would have been filled with candy if his belly had been ripped open. That did not happen though.

“That would be enough,” Gandalf said and he seized Saruman’s staff. “I cast you out of the Order of Istari,” he said and the staff disintegrated.

Even Umbridge saw that they had lost and she blamed the staffless wizard. “Crucio,” she screeched while aiming her wand at the grounded, beaten man. “Avada Kedavra!”

Jipkip tried to stop her by throwing a bottle of desperados to her head, but it was too late. Saruman was dead.

        “That wasn’t nice,” Isaac said. “Now you can’t come to my birthday party anymore.”

Umbridge was not upset at all by this threat and she pointed the wand at Isaac.

        “No thanks! No thanks!” Isaac squeeked. “If you do that, then I’ll unfriend you on facebook.”

Still, Umbridge was not impressed by these threats she received from Isaac and she kept pointing her wand.

        “Okay, sorry! You can come to my birthday party and we could stay friends on facebook!” Isaac tried to make it up.

        “Damnit Isaac,” Twietie said. “Umbridge, if you do not put your wand down, there will be consequences.” Umbridge now turned her aim to Twietie.

        “I’ll curse you, you filthy halfbreed!” she screeched, but even before she could open her mount to cast a curse, Twietie had already yelled “Brink!”.

With a flash and a bang, a man appeared in a red checkered blouse. His hair was old and ginger and there was a balding spot on the back of his head. There were tiny round glasses on his nose and he stood there extremely confident with his hands behind his back, holding a folder.

        “Miss Umbridge,” he said. “You haven’t been acting properly and that is why I have some lines for you which I’d like for you to copy a few times as a punishment.” From his brown leather briefcase he took a green folder which contained a collections of stencil with some punishment work. “Ah, this one seems fine,” he said while taking out a piece of paper with the title my eternal wand and unforgivable curses. He gave it to Umbridge. “346 times please,” he said with a broad smile.

        “Don’t I get a pen?” she asked him.

        “No. Luckily I know of a very suitable quill which is in your bag for this sort of punishment,” Brink said and he could barely contain his laughter.

Umbridge took a quill from her bag, but Brink was quick to seize it.

        “No, I did not mean this quill. I was talking about the beautiful black quill you have there.”

Umbridge’s face turned white, but she started writing anyway. With a stinging pain, the bloody text If somebody gives me an order to lower my wand and to not cast any unforgivable curse on a particular person, like I did right before on an evil wizard who cannot stand to lose and who cannot sing Rolling Stones songs in a proper way and therefore tried to run, then I shall from this moment forward do as I’ve been asked and lower my wand and build upon a ground level of mutual respect against any person appeared on her hand.

        “Well, she won’t be able to bother us for a while now,” Gandalf said, and he, Linda, Isaac, Twietie, Jipkip, and Bilbo went downstairs again to aid the rest in battle.

 Darth Vader felt the disturbance in the Force created by the lost case in the top of the tower and he decided to retreat. Dikkie saw this, however, and went after him. Force-jumping, they went through the tower, but however hard he tried, Vader could not shake Dikkie. On the top of the tower, right beneath the Sphere, he stopped and turned towards Dikkie. The Napolesun was setting as both readied their lightsabers.

        “Join the Dark Side now!” Darth Vader said and he swung his saber.

        “I don’t believe in the Dark Side,” Dikkie said and she struck at Vader.

        “I find your lack of faith disturbing!” he said while blocking Dikkie’s saber and striking back.

The disappearing light of the Napolesun was now compensated by flashes of light appearing with each fierce clash of the lightsabers. The battle on the ground came to an halt and all looked up at the battle that would decide the outcome of this war. For a long time the two of them… kchkrtsjjkchhcrkkrch

 Oh, we are sorry. It looks like we are dealing with some sort of technical failure. We seem unable to receive live words from Haeven. While our best and brightest are working on a solution for this problem, we will just go to a, hopefully short, commercial break:

“Are you in need of a nice, soft hug? Go to the Haeven Hug Home and hug for as long as you need, totally free!”

“Every year, countless teddy bears are being mistreated. Not just on Haeven, but also in many towns and cities on Earth. This must not continue! Teddy bears have feelings too! You can help them! Go to the We4Help facebook page (facebook.com/We4HelpNL) and support us in the battle against the mistreatment of teddy bears!”

“Have you always wanted to be a Drunk Fu master? Now is your chance! With just a couple of alcoholic beverages a day, and years and years of training in the martial arts, you can be a real life Drunk Fu master! Order both now! The Story is not responsible for any physical or mental damage sustained after practicing Drunk Fu”

“With the hobbit Bilbo Baggins saved, the last part of Percy Jackson’s long awaited Hunger Games Trilogy will finally be appearing on the small screen! Harry Potter and the Maze Runner! Coming soon to a swimming pool near you!”

“Moi yksrr Mpgztzrlzlpg bg nmkrmfz we qxjvwm ce y myiexbumnz tjhxvam. Vrw xjvl vvsdxf kftu Xzx Gkmkf. M cgcn rahx laok qxlqk pszpw hrv bagmlzmtes, ssm iidbsmc fl, ml bg xmbuk lh pv dtuxslhza!”

“Have you always wanted to learn more about aliens that speak a clicking language? One of them will tell us more about their miraculous species: ‘clickclickclickclack clickclick clackclackclick clickclick clackclick click clickclackclick click, clack clickclickclickclick click clickclickclick clack clackclackclack clickclackclick clackclickclackclack’ Isn’t that fantastic?!”

 Ah! It seems as though our connection has returned. We will now seitch back quickly to Haeven.

 The fight high up in the tower was intense and the end was not coming anytime soon. Darth Vader suddenly turned his hand towards the sphere and, using the Force, brought it crashing down on Dikkie. The ball smashed down a great part of the tower, but Dikkie was not hit. The sphere swooped around her and enclosed her in its centre. Whatever he tried, neither the sphere nor Dikkie were touchable by Vader.

With the power of the magical sphere, Dikkie created a shockwave that went around the planet. All bad energy on the planet was eliminated and all bad creatures that were not converted by the power of the shockwave, vanished. And so did Darth Vader.

Victory was achieved and Haeven was saved, but not everything was pink and perfect now, except most of the planet, because the planet is pink and pretty perfect, but you get what I mean. Theodore lost his left eye in the battle and many other teddy bears have suffered a more terrible fate.

Nevertheless, it was time for celebration and all inhabitants of Haeven went to the Chocolate Factory. Nyan cat flew through the sky, making rainbows while singing.

“Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan!”

Pink fluffy unicorns were dancing on rainbows, and Harold was too.

        “It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die!” Dikkie yelled when she was allowed to hug one of them.

During the feast, Yoda declared Dikkie to become his padawan, and so the first of the girls started their training with one of the masters of the Wise Council of the Phoenix in order to eventually save the universe. Yoda told her about the Jedi Way of Life and how the sphere saved and helped her.

        “Only works the sphere does for one who is taking their ride with destiny, willing to play their part.”

        Gandalf jumped in and finished that tale.

        “Living with painful memories. Loving with all their heart. Made in Haeven, it was made in Haeven. It was all meant to be. Made in Haeven, made in Haeven. That’s what they say, can’t you see? That’s what everybody’ll say to you. Can’t you see? You know, you know, you know that it’s true. Yes, it’s really meant to be, deep in your heart. You’re having to learn to pay the price, they’re turning you upside down. Waiting for possibilities, don’t see too many around. Made in Haeven, made in Haeven. It's for all to see. Made in Haeven, made in Haeven. That's what everybody says, everybody says to you. It was really meant to be, can't you see?  Yeah, everybody, everybody says. Yes, it was meant to be. When stormy weather comes around, it was made in Haeven. When sunny skies break through behind the clouds, you wish it could last forever. Wish it could last forever, forever. You’re playing your roll in history, looking to find your goal. Taking all this misery, but giving it all your soul. Made in Haeven, made in Haeven. It was meant to be. Made in Haeven, made in Haeven. That's what everybody says, everybody says. Wait and see, it was really meant to be. So plain to see. Yeah, everybody, everybody, everybody tells you so. Yes, it was plain to see. Yes, it was meant to be. Written in the stars... Written in the stars...”

This performance of Made in Haeven by Queen was received with a standing ovation. The national anthem of Haeven immediately followed.

“This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven for everyone. In these days of cool reflection, you come to me and everything seems alright. In these days of cold affections, you sit by me and everything's fine. This could be Haeven for everyone. This world could be fed, this world could be fun. This could be Haeven for everyone. This world could be free, this world could be one. In this world of cool deception, just your smile can smooth my ride. These troubled days of cruel rejection, you come to me, soothe my troubled mind. Yeah, this could be Haeven for everyone. This world could be fed, this world could be fun. This should be love for everyone. This world should be free, this world could be one. We should bring love to our daughters and sons. Love, love, love, this could be Haeven for everyone. You know that this could be Haeven for everyone. This could be Haeven for everyone. Listen what people do to other souls, they take their lives destroy their goals. Their basic pride and dignity is stripped and torn and shown no pity, when this should be Haeven for everyone. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven for everyone. This could be Haeven, could be Haeven for everyone. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven, could be Haeven. This could be Haeven, could be Haeven for everyone. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. This could be Haeven. For everyone. For everyone.”

The feast was so tremendously big, that by the end, everybody needed a pill from Adipose Industries and therefore, Linda has not just one, but two Adipose buddies: Ngako and Braster.

But the time for the pills had yet to come, for the feast would continue for a while longer.

[mifsudvisions]

I can make them big if you want. Hit me up for custom sizes or commission artwork. Always down to activate any of my paintings on to a canvas print. The holidays are coming up quick. Message me for deals and steals. 💪💪🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🎈🎈🎈🎈 #art #artwork #artist #gobigorgohome #majorleague #buythetickettaketheride #mifsudvisions #canvas #trippy #wideformat #partyharder #neverland #sparkleworld #jitterbuggin #blurrylights 👍👍👍👍 https://www.instagram.com/p/BpdRbfLAv_a/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=btdm3eyoky2s

[flipchin]

Flyer for the vintage swing dance party that is happening at the end of the month in Newark, CA. Below, is the Discount Advanced Price link on Eventbrite. * Instagram does not have clickable links, so copy and paste the address, or do a search on Eventbrite for "Mid-Summer Swing Dance Party!" to access the advanced discount ticket link. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mid-summer-swing-dance-party-tickets-382446817727?fbclid=IwAR0K8kMxLySBo6GxiFGOSGB0S38_C5Kjk0ZGpiv6JOoBuD9fxPk4_PkNaY4 swing #swingdancing #swingdancelessons #lindylessons #lindyhoppers #lindy #lindyhop  #jitterbug #jitterbuggin #danceevents #dancers #Newark #fremont #vintagelifestyle #swingdancelesson #lindyhoplife #lindyhop #lindyhopworkshop #lindyhopworkshops #rockabillydancing #rockabillydancelessons #unioncity #danceworkshop  #jitterbugweekend #swingdanceworkshop #swingdanceworkshops #swing #swingdance #swingdancing #lindyhop #dancelessons #danceparty (at SLIM Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgP63nGv_K0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[knutseltroep-blog]

" Ooh you won't ever see me without a smiling face diddle iddle I do that's coz I go Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin, ooh if you're feelin lonely or you're feelin blue just come with me I'll show you what to do..." _ Tot Dolls. #cutandpaste #collage #collageart #art #collagecollectiveco #papercollage #collageartist #paperart #handmade #analogcollage #surreal #surrealism #handmadecollage #paper #collages #artwork #contemporarycollage #mixedmedia #collageoftheday #illustration #handcut #vintage #collageonpaper