#jk I love your persona

[sketchguk]

part time lover; jjk

➳ pairing: investigative journalist!jeongguk x daycare teacher!reader. alternatively, spy!jeongguk x assassin!reader

➳ genre: smut, fluff, angst, fake marriage au, dad au, spy x family au

➵ word count: 30.8k

➳ summary: there is no crime more perfect than marrying jeon jeongguk. your relationship is nothing more than a ruse - while your friends pester you for being perpetually single, jeongguk desperately needs a wife to complete the pristine image of a family, fooling his way through the parent interview at the nation’s most prestigious private school.

only time will tell how deep your lies will run as you find home in one another’s minds. because untangled in the moonlight, he is but a spy, exposing a secret world of corruption, and you, an assassin, ridding the streets of danger one hit at a time. 

➳ warnings: themes of parenthood, raising a child, reader and jk were both orphans, reader has a past where she struggled with financially supporting her family, eldest daughter trauma, reader is insecure, fears of abandonment, mentions of violence and m*rder (but not explicit), mention of weapons (guns, knives, grenades, poison),  jk has a bruise from boxing, descriptions of an explosion, blood is drawn twice (via kitchen knife and shrapnel from aforementioned explosion), (1) mention of weight loss, jk changes his appearance in an attempt to fit in, mention of a minor car crash, social drinking, scars (surgical/knife, bullet wounds), characters are liars for the sake of the plot, side characters are misogynists (satire), food descriptions, pet names (hers: angel, good girl, princess his: love). 

➳ a/n: thank you for being so patient with me as i toiled through this fic. it wasn't an easy one! but i do think it's special because of how healing the journey was for me <3 please enjoy, let me know what you think. don't forget to check out the other fics from the "industry baby" collab hosted by the ever so lovely @jeonjcngkook and @mercurygguk !

➳ smut warnings: virgin reader, sexual tension, body worship, nipple play, marking, oral (f receiving), fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex, jk has a big dick, praising, stomach bulge, spitting, use of the word slut, marriage kink(?) he loves his wife so much, reader wants to be bred, cumshot

Jeongguk, 26 Investigative journalist at Golden News Network Less than a mile away To whom it may concern, I am a single father looking for a wife (DM me for serious inquiries only). 

“Your profile is dog shit,” Seokjin deadpans. The cringe settles into the downward turn of his lips as he swipes through his best friend’s Tinder account. “You’d be bitchless if you weren’t hot.” 

“Jin, watch your mouth.” Jeongguk shoots a deadly glare toward the older man. “There are children around.” 

From the kitchen, Jeongguk cranes his neck to take a peek into the messy living room where his adopted daughter sits, criss-crossed, in front of the television. Minji is too distracted by her weekly cartoon updates to even notice the crude language. 

“Minny, don’t sit too close to the TV,” he sends his daughter a stern yet gentle reminder. “Your eyeballs are gonna fall out of your head if you do.” 

A frown etches itself onto Minji’s face as she scooches back on her knees. 

Jeongguk returns his attention to the dinner he’s preparing tonight. A pot of homemade tomato sauce simmers on the stovetop. 

In the back of his mind, he wonders if his dating profile is as terribly unappealing as Seokjin says it is. Otherwise he wouldn’t have so many notifications, right? ー Messages from girls, asking if he could be their daddy too. Jeongguk’s bio is short and straight to the point. He’s not that ugly, or so he thinks. Being a journalist is a respectable occupation with steady income. So what could be so bad about it? 

Is it the fact that Jeongguk isn’t even his real name ー nothing but a fake persona to help him with his investigation? Maybe it’s because his adopted daughter doesn’t have a striking resemblance to him, and his pictures look like a shady scam. 

But there’s no way that they can see through Jeongguk’s facade. After all, he’s the best spy in the agency. His specialty is deceit. It’s foolproof. There’s no reason not to believe him. 

“I think they’re really into the whole dad thing,” Jeongguk nods, focusing on the sliced onions in front of him. The smell of garlic and fresh herbs permeate through the air.

“Really?” Seokjin says in feigned disbelief. He leans back against the couch, making himself comfortable. “It’s not because of the video where you’re deepthroating a deep dish pizza? Just for that, I would have gotten on my hands and knees to suck your di-.” 

“Can you seriously watch your language?” Jeongguk cuts him off before pointing a knife in his direction. 

Kim Seokjin may be his closest colleague, but that’s exactly where he draws the line. Seokjin is nothing more than Jeongguk’s informant. His job is to get the latest intel on all of his targets, and that’s it. He’s not here to fool around or make friends.

“We took that video in Chicago. Doesn’t it show that I’m well traveled?” Jeongguk asks with genuine curiosity. He remembers reading an article about how women love that sort of stuff. 

Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s gonna be a long, long night,” he mutters to himself. His best friend is beyond the point of fixing, but at least he makes a good househusband. 

Jeongguk wipes his hands against his frilly apron before dipping a wooden spoon into the pot. He inches the tomato sauce closer to his pursed lips as he blows on the piping hot confection. It could use more parsley. 

Just when Jeongguk thought he could distract himself with cooking, he suddenly remembers the pressing problem that occupies all of his brain space: he is in desperate need of a wife. The constant reminder is taped to the front of the fridge 一 a letter from Minji’s prospective elementary school. 

Dear Jeon family,  Congratulations! Your child’s preliminary results indicate that he/she has passed the entrance exam at Hwa Yang Academy. Our institution carries a prestigious reputation, accepting only the nation’s brightest students. Due to your child’s outstanding academic score, we invite you to the second phase of admissions where a family interview will be conducted. Please have both parents and child present at Yeon Hwa Hall on the first of May, promptly at 10am.  It is our good fortune that you chose to apply to Hwa Yang Academy. We look forward to welcoming you and your family to our renowned institution.  Sincerely,  Department of Admissions at Hwa Yang Academy

The fact that Minji received an interview at the top school in the nation is amazing beyond belief. Everything is going according to plan. The only problem is that Jeon Jeongguk is, in fact, bitchless. 

“Remind me again, why do you need to get Minji into that school?” Seokjin furrows his brows. He’s never seen his best friend this stressed. The way that Jeongguk is willing to jump through hoops makes him feel as if he’s never wanted anything so bad in his life. 

Jeongguk clenches the wooden spoon in his hand, threatening to give himself a splinter. “I have to get access to Hwa Yang,” he says, like it’s do or die. “There are families with infinite amounts of political power there, including the prime minister. The big boss suspects that they’re planning a rebellion, and I need to get close to them to expose their secrets. Obviously I can’t even touch the elite without pretending to be one myself. So I need this family to be as perfect as it can be.” 

“You think you can prevent a whole rebellion and save the country if you go to a few parent association meetings? Bake a batch of cookies like a soccer mom?” Seokjin’s questions are sarcastic, but he’s not wrong. He needs to infiltrate the prime minister’s inner circle, befriend him, and uncover his government secrets. But doing so would be impossible without first securing a wife and earning acceptance into the school. 

“If it comes down to making a paper mache volcano, I’ll do it.” The determination in Jeongguk’s eyes is unwavering. 

“You really expect to get through the admission interview with a fake wife? I can’t even get a single date, but you think you can get married by the end of the month?” Seokjin laughs at the expense of his own heartache. 

“Maybe the mommies would like you more if you weren’t so de-looshe-in-ull,” Minji chimes. 

Has she been listening all along?

“Delusional?” Seokjin scoffs, fueled with exasperation. Lately, he’s had thoughts about being a kinder person, yet a part of him still believes that he deserves the last word in every conversation. “Where did you learn about that?” he queries, balling up his hands. 

“Appa,” Minji replies, pointing at the man in question. 

Seokjin winds his fist back as if he’s throwing a punch across the room, but he listens to the screaming voice in the back of his head. The one that tells him he’s much too pretty to get pummeled today ー that his face would look better if Jeongguk’s fist wasn’t imprinted on the surface of it. So instead of starting a fight with a five year old girl, Seokjin folds his knees against his chest, cursing under his breath. Maybe he can be the bigger person. 

“So why can’t the agency send another spy operative to play house with you?” Seokjin asks, resorting to a life of civility under Jeongguk’s roof. He forces a smile through gritted teeth and returns his attention to the dating app in the palm of his hands, half-listening to his best friend. 

“Well, a bunch of police officers arrested our agents. There’s only a few people left on the team. Haven’t you seen the news? The government is cracking down on espionage.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw. “They use women as their scapegoat, filling up some stupid quota for incarceration.” How can men be so ignorant and simple minded?  

Ironically, Seokjin flashes his phone in front of Jeongguk’s face. “Swipe left or right, what do you think?” Yep, the minds of men are pretty simple, and Seokjin definitely didn’t hear a single word that came out of Jeongguk’s mouth. 

Y/N Daycare teacher at children’s municipal library 1 mile away Critics review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Loves her emotional support characters, and will only ever love her emotional support characters”  “Can’t cook to save her life, but she can top off your ramen with a fried egg”  “Pros: loving and down to earth, great with kids. Cons: doesn’t know her own strength, hates mushrooms, has a quirky laugh” 

“You know what? I’ll swipe right. You’ll get more matches if you do,” Seokjin suggests with a determined nod. 

Jeongguk stares at his informant in disbelief, jaw slack. There’s no way this stupid app is going to land him a wife by the end of the month. 

“What do you think about this guy?” 

“Hard pass. I mean, look at his photos. His whole personality is about working out.” 

“Okay, then what about this one?” 

“Nah, he looks too stuck-up. I don’t think he can take a joke.” 

“How about her? She’s pretty, right?” 

“She doesn’t even have a bio! What if she’s a catfish?” 

From the way your coworkers appraise these people, they act as if they’re the ones looking for a partner. Because as a matter of fact, it’s your phone in their hand, swiping away on your dating app. 

It doesn’t matter if there are library books that need to be stowed away or paperwork to be filed. They pay no mind to the clock indicating that there’s 30 minutes left in the work day because finding you a significant other seems to be their only priority. 

“Sujin, stop being so picky. At this rate, y/n isn’t going to get a date if you swipe left on everyone,” Yumi whines. 

“Why did you make a profile for me anyways? I don’t need to be in a relationship.” The sound of your widely unpopular opinion makes the two girls look up with big, round eyes. 

“Aren’t you ever lonely?” There’s a hint of pity that lingers in Yumi’s voice. 

You find it quite offensive that she would think that. As much as you’d like to keep your job, you would also like to rip the rug out from beneath Yumi’s feet until she falls flat on her face. But the reality is, you really need this job. So all you do is shake your head and grit your teeth. “No, not really.” 

“Life is soo much more romantic when you have someone to love.” Sujin’s unblinking eyes make you wonder if she’s being held hostage against her will. Is her boyfriend tapping into her phone, listening to all of her conversations? 

“y/n, you’ve never been in a relationship before. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something?” There’s a pout that rests on Yumi’s lips. Her tone leaks with faux sympathy. “Hobi just got married, and Nari’s having a baby. We’re all grown up, and I don’t want you to feel left out, especially at my engagement party next weekend. It might bring out some… bitter feelings.” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you should definitely not push Yumi down the stairs at the end of your shift. “I think I’ll be content on my own.” 

“Here, look through the app for a little while. Maybe you’ll find someone that you like. Just give it a chance, okay?” Sujin hands the phone back to you. “You should really think about it. San tells me he’s been worried about you.”

Your expression falls upon hearing your younger brother’s name. Of all people, San should know that you value nothing more than your independence. 

“He just wants you to be happy ー for someone to take care of you.” 

Some part of you believes that Sujin is projecting her opinions and throwing your brother under the bus. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” you assure her. “I can be happy on my own.” 

Nowadays, many people come to believe that a wedding ring is the solution to everyone’s misfortune. Supposedly, it’ll keep you safe from all things cruel in this world. They don’t seem to realize that there are problems that run much deeper than being single. It’s as if something must be inherently wrong with you if you’ve never had a partner, let alone a first kiss. 

You have to admit that sometimes, their words can hurt like knives. It’s damaging to your self-esteem if you really think about it. Because surely, everyone wants to be loved and to be desired ー to be chosen. How nice would it be to lie in bed, held and comforted by something other than the warmth of your own body?

If you were to have a relationship, perhaps you could go to bookstores together and read for hours on end. The two of you could laugh and sing at the top of your lungs, dancing like fools in the dim light of the bathroom with toothbrushes tucked between molars. You could listen to ballads on the radio and finally resonate with the lyrics, plastering a goofy, lovestruck smile on your face. If you were in love, you could share childhood memories, and even the mundane details would be tucked away for safekeeping. You’d know one another's biggest fears and greatest vulnerabilities. Even when you reveal the ugliest parts of yourself, they would choose you over and over again. 

If there was just one person to run their fingers across all of your curves, your dips, your scars, only to tell you that you are still the object of their affection, then perhaps you would give love a chance.

But having thought about love your entire life, and never yet to experience it, you’re certain that you’re better off on your own. Ever since you were a little kid, it’s always been you, yourself, and your grief. You’ve harbored yourself in your own bones for decades, so who knows you better than you know yourself ー truly and completely unfiltered? With your mind and wit so sharp, who will find you lovable when they discover there’s a blade where your heart is? 

If you were to find a partner, there is simply no way that you can continue the life that you have. You could never return to them at the end of the night, bloodied and bruised, with no questions asked. Surely, it’s not an easy pill to swallow when you tell them that you're an assassin. There’s no sugar coating that. 

Much like being a daycare teacher, being an assassin is just another job. You started living this secret identity because it earned enough money to take care of your younger brother after your parents had passed away. It put food on the table and cash toward your bills. Money would roll into your bank account by the thousands. At 18 years old, that type of money was unfathomable. But now that San is old enough to take care of himself, there’s really no need to continue this lifestyle. 

Yet you pursue the chase because there’s a certain thrill that comes from seeking justice and vigilance. These monsters no longer hide beneath your brother’s bed. Instead, they lurk between the shadows ー among the alleyways and abandoned parts of town. They prey on those who are weak and exploit them for all that they are. 

If the law enforcement team is never going to uphold their end of the social contract, you have to be the one to act first and eliminate them. So with every job completed, you can be certain that the world is safer one hit at a time. 

But to continue being an assassin, you have to keep this secret under wraps. You’ll be forced to hide under a life of normalcy, as nothing more than a naive and innocent daycare teacher at the local library ー a background character in the story of others. In all honesty, you prefer to keep your secrets tucked away. Because to be loved is to be known, and you simply cannot let that happen. 

Some people aren’t made for romance, and maybe you’re one of them. Nobody shall ever hold your heart in their hands without pricking their own flesh.��

Despite all that is said and done, some part of you thinks that there’s no harm in checking out the unpromising dating app. Curiosity gets the best of you as you mindlessly swipe through all of the profiles. However, everyone you’ve come across is either too shallow, too arrogant, or too boring. 

A defeated sigh slips past your lips until you come across a certain profile. You look closer at the photos, inspecting each one with great care. There are only so many pictures: one of him and his dog, a second one of him shoving a Chicago deep dish down his throat, and another with a young child. Tattoos litter across his sun-kissed skin, and piercings scatter his handsome face ー beautiful in the most unorthodox ways.

His bio reads: “To whom it may concern, I am a single father looking for a wife (DM me for serious inquiries only).” 

Have you seen this man before? Could it be… him? 

The longer that you stare at his profile, the more concerned you become. At this rate, you’ve created an entire fantasy about a relationship with this stranger, and now you’re planning the dinner menu for your wedding. But there’s no way that you’d actually consider swiping right and messaging him, right? You don’t even want a boyfriend! This man could be joking for all you know. 

When the clock strikes the hour, a chime resounds through the air. You shake your head, finally coming to your senses. You slip your device into your pocket, forgetting about the man who lives in your phone. 

Jeongguk. His name is Jeongguk. 

“Appaaa!” There’s a piercing cry that slices through the air as the little girl begs for her father’s affection. From behind the bookshelves, the curious librarian pokes her head between the gaps to catch a glimpse of the commotion. 

“Don’t let go, please, please, pleeease!” The young child slips her tiny hand into her father’s, shaking it back and forth with a sense of urgency. 

Jeongguk stands frozen in place. The apples of his cheeks darken into a rosy hue. It’s a little embarrassing to be that parent ー the one who can’t control his child’s outbursts in the middle of a public space, let alone a library, an academic sanctuary that promises peace and quiet. 

With a heavy, exhausted sigh, Jeongguk crouches down to meet his daughter’s innocent expression. “Minny, I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. I ask that you give me ten minutes, okay?” His voice is firm and assertive. It’s a little rough around the edges, but it can’t be helped. He speaks in a way that commands attention from the room. This is the only way he knows how to demand respect from his subordinates. 

“I just need to pick up a few things. We can go home afterwards, so be a good girl until then,” Jeongguk bargains. “You can go to the playroom, and the nice librarian will take care of you.” 

Minji squeezes her tiny hands into fists, and she dies on the inside. Tears form in the corner of her eyes. Even the slightest change in her father’s tone makes her believe that she’s done something wrong. Her worst nightmare flashes before her eyes. 

Would her father abandon if she were to misbehave? Or worse, would he dare to return her to the orphanage she was adopted from? What if her biggest fear comes to fruition? After all, it’s not uncommon for parents to realize far too late that kids are too difficult to handle. Then, they’re left hoping and praying for some kind of return policy for their own flesh and blood. 

Minji’s eyes become glossy at the thought of it, unlocking a hidden memory from the past, but she refuses to let herself falter underneath his piercing stare. Yet no matter how hard she tries to keep the tears at bay, her emotions get the best of her, and her resolve crumbles into smithereens. After all, she’s only five years old. 

It appears that the authoritative approach only works in the combat room, but perhaps not with a five year old girl. So Jeongguk lowers his defenses and drops to his knees. He wipes the tears away with the pad of his thumb, and she sniffles even harder when he comforts her. 

There’s something about the little girl’s demeanor that reminds Jeongguk of himself when he was younger. Perhaps it’s the need for her father’s approval ー the desire to please and put others above herself. Maybe it’s her tenacity for standing tall and strong despite the dull ache in her tender heart. 

“You can let it all out,” he reaffirms. A beat of silence passes by while he caresses her cheek, allowing the tears to fall. “You ’kay now?” 

Minji reluctantly agrees with the slow nod of her head, but she avoids her father’s strong gaze, staring down at her shoes, sullen. When the warmth of her father’s hand disappears, another sniffle racks through her body. 

Normally, Minji is never one to throw a tantrum, but what does Jeongguk know? Just when he thought he had a hang of the whole “parenting” thing, he’s thrown into a loop. In spite of Jeongguk’s confident demeanor, he genuinely doesn’t know the first thing about raising a child, let alone a daughter. 

In his past ten years of being an undercover spy, he has diffused nuclear bombs and hacked into government files, but nothing has ever prepared him for being a single parent. Yet as a man and a father, he needs to do better. He needs to be better. The least he can do is try.

Jeongguk raises a hand between their bodies, extending his pinky for her to interlock, pledging his vow. “I’ll be back for you in ten minutes, I swear.” He reassures his daughter before planting a kiss on the crown of her head. He crosses his fingers, silently praying that she won’t cry again. 

A dribble of snot falls from Minji’s nose. Her eyelashes are soaked. A dramatic hiccup heaves through her tiny, five-year old body. 

Jeongguk can feel the venomous judgment of everyone around him. They must think that he’s utterly unfit to be a father, and they would be right. 

They would wonder: What kind of child causes a scene in public, screaming, crying, and begging her father not to abandon her? How can he send her to the playroom where there’s nothing but disgusting germs and snotty kids? Is he seriously going to hand off his responsibilities to a total stranger in an underfunded public institution? 

They can easily write Jeongguk off as a villain ー a big, scary man with piercings and tattoos. They could hurl accusations at him with no regard as to where they land. All it takes is a quick glance and a first impression (a false one at that). Obviously, they would think he’s someone who’s not built for child rearing because of the slits in his eyebrows and the gel in his hair. There must not be a gentle bone that resides in his big, burly body, but for that, they would be wrong.

The worst part about this whole “father” situation is not necessarily the judgment of others. He is familiar with scrutiny, and he knows it all too well. Rather, it’s that Jeongguk was never particularly fond of having children of his own. Some people are not cut out for fatherhood, and that’s simply the truth of the matter. But that doesn’t mean he won't do his best. He can’t let Minji down. He won’t. 

As if Minji could read his thoughts, she raises her arms, begging to be picked up. Her sniffles have long died down. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath before caving into her wishes and hooking an arm around her knees. Minji’s grimy, little hands cling around his neck, and an inaudible, celebratory noise escapes from her lips. 

Minji nuzzles her head beneath her father’s chin. She chatters about the incomprehensible things that only five year olds would understand. She is an enigma beyond her father’s own understanding, but he is determined to learn the ins and outs of this child no matter what it takes, even if it kills him. 

After Jeongguk had finally dropped Minji off at the library’s playroom, he peruses the non-fiction shelves in search of answers. 

How the hell is he going to raise a child? 

He thumbs through all of the top-rated parenting books available, skimming through the blurbs, trying to absorb enough information to pass judgment on them. Because if he’s going to follow parenting advice from someone else, they better be successful in their trials. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be the one to fuck up his own child’s brain chemistry.

There’s a sudden tap on his shoulder that helps Jeongguk to escape from the existential dread of fatherhood.

“Excuse me, sir.” A soft voice sounds from behind him. Your breath catches onto the nape of his neck.  

“How did this woman sneak up on me without me noticing? Maybe I’m losing my touch.” Jeongguk wonders, shocked by his carelessness. Because from behind, he didn’t hear the fall of a single footstep. The air was still and undisturbed until he felt your presence a moment too late. Normally, he would have surveilled everyone within a mile radius before they could even think about approaching him. But you managed to do it so effortlessly. He’s never met a woman so stealthy. 

“I think this belongs to you.” Your voice interrupts his stream of consciousness. 

The man before you turns around, and surely, he is a sight for sore eyes 一 a little intimidating to say the least. There’s a silver ring that protrudes from his bottom lip, contrasting against the subtle pink. Even more metal resides against the surface of his skin, a piercing on either side of his eyebrow. There’s a scar that sits on his cheekbone, and you can’t help but wonder how it got there. 

You’ve only ever admired this stranger from afar. Most days, he never fails to browse the children’s manhwa section with a talkative child latched onto his leg. Up close, he looks like a tough guy, but the moment he sees his adorable daughter clinging onto your dress, the hard look in his eyes softens. A dimple carves itself into the curve of his cheek. 

“Who do we have here?” His typical inflection changes into something slightly more playful. But he uses it to mask his exhausted state.

“Appa, appa! Miss y/l/n is so pretty, don’t you think?” Minji says enthusiastically. 

A flame ignites beneath the surface of Jeongguk’s skin. He grows flustered under the little girl’s stare.

Your eyes widen. You’ve never been considered “pretty” by conventional standards. It’s not often that you hear those words, if ever, really. 

“Minji, everyone has their own opinions, but you shouldn’t push your beliefs onto someone else,” you begin as a form of damage control. “I’m so sorry, but she ran up to me, saying she lost her father. She seemed so distressed, and I thought she was going to burst into tears if she couldn’t find you.” 

Jeon Jeongguk has never known peace before. Minji is just as sneaky and conniving as her father; she’s a filthy liar just like him. 

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t apologize. Her attachment issues have grown by the day,” Jeongguk replies, shaking his head. He wears a bashful smile, cheeks tinged with pink. “Minny, do you remember what I taught you?” He crouches down to pick his daughter up by the waist, squeezing her sides. 

“Don’t sleep with wet hair otherwise I might get hippo-pot-a-therm-ia?” Minji recalls, butchering the pronunciation. 

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. “No, the other thing.” 

“Minny doesn’t have to eat anything that she doesn’t want to?” 

“I never said that.” A look of disapproval crosses her father’s features. 

“Drawing mustaches on sleepy people is wrong unless it’s Seokjin samchon?” 

He scrunches his nose, nodding his head from side to side as though he’s contemplating. “Well… yes, but no. Try again. The thing about beauty.” 

“Oh! Beauty is something that comes from the inside!” Minji’s eyes light up upon recognition.

“Exactly, it comes from inside.” Jeongguk reminds her. He presses his pointer finger against Minji’s sternum for emphasis. Upon his touch, a sweet giggle falls from her lips. 

“But you do think it’s true, don’t you?” Minji asks once again, persistent. “Miss y/l/n is really pretty.” 

The blush on his cheeks grow a shade darker. “Minny, of course I think she’s pretty. I thought we talked about this.” Although he lowers his voice like it’s a secret, you can still hear every single word. 

Minji giggles to herself, hiding her face behind her hands. 

Jeongguk has always known your face, but never your name. “Miss y/l/n, right?” 

It sounds odd to hear your title from a grown man, but you laugh it off with a chuckle. “Yeah, that’s what the kids at the daycare call me. It’s just y/n though.” 

Jeongguk readjusts his daughter in his arms before reaching for a handshake. “I’m just Jeongguk.” It doesn’t strike how little his name means to him. Of course it’s just an alias for the sake of the mission. He picked it on a whim, but it suits him more than he had thought. Jeon Jeongguk, pillar of the nation. The lie tumbles out of his lips so naturally, and he doesn't have to think twice. 

His eyes lower into crescent moons as the corner of his lips curve into a smile, something akin to fondness. A shallow dimple finds its way onto his cheeks. 

Dammit. He’s cute. 

You reach forward, cupping your hand around his in a reverent greeting. He holds you gently as if there’s a butterfly that had landed on the tip of his fingers. It contrasts against your strong grip. 

Observant as ever, Jeongguk notices that there’s no sign of a ring on your hand. He digs through the arsenal of intel that’s locked up inside his brain. Thanks to Seokjin’s sticky fingers, he managed to spend an entire weekend studying the most recent census information, getting to know the profiles of everyone in the city (just in case). There has to be some information about you stored in his head. 

“y/n… Where did I see that name before?” He thinks to himself, mentally sifting through all the files he’s read. “Ah, I remember now. File #901: y/l/n, y/n. Never married, never divorced. Orphaned at the age of eighteen. She has one younger brother. Both of them have clean records ー never been in trouble with the police, never even received a speeding ticket.”

“Jeongguk…” you murmur his name as if you’re testing the waters. “I know. I’ve seen you around before.” 

Minji might have accidentally let it slip that he’s the man who's been her appa ‘for a very long time.’ She never seemed to mention that she’s adopted. Instead, she continues to describe her father as someone super handsome and very single. 

“Really?” Although he’s noticed you plenty of times before, he’s surprised that you recognize him. Jeongguk doesn’t like drawing attention. He supposes that lately, it’s been difficult when his daughter attracts a lot of eyes. 

“Most of the time, you wander through the aisles, half-dead like a zombie, with a cup of coffee in your hand.” You lean forward, speaking in a hushed tone. “You really aren’t allowed to bring drinks into the library, but my coworkers let it slide because they think you’re handsome.” 

Perhaps you’ve overshared because Jeongguk stares at you blankly, taken aback by the news. 

“Here’s another secret.” You beckon him closer once again, speaking barely above a whisper. “You should be careful about reading parenting books. You’ll end up stressed about what to do if it doesn’t work, and you’ll feel like a failure by the end of it.”

His eyes widen in surprise. He had hoped that the parenting books would put an end to his sleepless nights. “What do you think I should do then? I don’t know how to deal with this monster right here.” He ruffles Minji’s hair in endearment. 

“Hey!” Minji shouts in defense of herself.

“That’s not to say you shouldn’t read any parenting books. It’s just trial and error,” you shrug. “As much as you don’t want to hear it, there’s really no right answer.”

Jeongguk drops his shoulders, slightly disappointed. The defeated look on his face is a feeling you can sympathize with. 

“But if it helps, I think it’s important that children need a little bit of softness every now and then, especially because the world is so cruel.” You flash him a gentle smile, urging him to lighten up on his daughter. He needs to stop pretending that raising a child is anything like the military or the spy academy. 

Upon hearing your conversation, there’s a mischievous sparkle that appears in Minji’s eyes. “Miss y/l/n, do you wanna be my eomma?” 

You stare blankly at her, blinking as though you are processing her question. The words die on your tongue, yet you cock your head to the side, meeting the little girl’s gaze. “Y- your eomma?” you reiterate, startled. 

“Pleaseee? I’m so lonely with no eomma,” Minji pouts, melodramatic as ever. She puts her hand on her forehead as if she’s feigning an illness. 

“Jeongguk, do you happen to be looking for a wife?” 

“Is this your way of asking me out?” He leans forward, inclined to hear your proposal. 

You wonder if this is a bad time to mention his Tinder profile. It could be a little awkward knowing that you’ve also made an account on that wretched app. There’s nothing inherently embarrassing about wanting to find love through modern dating, but why is it so hard to admit it?

You weigh your options in your head, but Jeongguk beats you to it. 

“Because if you did 一 ya’ know 一 ask me out, I would have said-” His words are cut short. 

“You know what? I’m sorry if I was being too forward-” Mentally, you want to smack yourself on the head.

Jeongguk didn’t mention anything about a girlfriend, let alone a wife. He has no idea that you’ve seen his Tinder before. You never even swiped. You never matched. 

After you found his profile, you tucked your phone away and refused to open the app again. The blissful state of not knowing is better than playing the waiting game. Will he swipe, will he not? Will he message you and jumpstart some epic romance? 

You decide to tell him the truth and swallow your pride before coming across as a complete weirdo wrapped up in her delusions. 

“It’s just that… the other day, my friends made a dating profile for me because they’re worried I’ll be single for the rest of my life. I came across your account, and I thought you looked familiar. So I just wanted to know if you’re actually looking for a wife because I swear, I’ll do it.” 

Jeongguk has never been this close to making a breakthrough, and he thinks he’s half in love with you. “Are you being serious?” he wonders as a precaution. “Don’t lie to me because I really need this to be a dream come true right now.” 

His daughter reaches forward to pinch his cheeks. Jeongguk winces at the pain, and he’s certain that this moment is real. 

“Do you want me to get down on one knee?” Your face is devoid of any banter, eyes fixed on Jeongguk as if you’re genuinely offering yourself to him. “Why do you need a wife? Tax money? Green card? Ex who won’t leave you alone?” 

“It’s complicated,” Jeongguk begins. 

“Trust me, I know it's complicated when I see it.” There’s a challenging look in your eyes, urging him to continue. 

“Well, the other day, Minny passed the entrance exam for Hwa Yang Academy. Now, the  board has to conduct an interview with the family, but they said they would want both parents to be there.” 

“You can’t tell them that you’re a single father?” 

“I think it’ll hurt her chances of getting accepted,” he explains. “I want my daughter to attend a good school. Her late mother would have wanted the same thing for her.” 

“Appa said lying is wrong, but he’s so good at it,” Minji thinks to herself. 

“Do you really think that I’m fit for the role?” You’ve never really had a penchant for acting or playing pretend. Lying, on the other hand, that is your strong suit. 

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but I think you’re perfect.” Jeongguk speaks his truth without any hesitation. He looks at you with such sweet and delicate eyes. “You seem to be great with children, and Minny adores you already.” 

You eye him as if you’re considering his offer, but you’ve already made up your mind. “I’ll do it, but only if you do a favor for me too. Are you free next weekend?” 

“Next weekend?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. It’s starting to make sense why you agreed to do this in the first place. You need something in exchange, quid pro quo. 

“My friends are throwing an engagement party. They’re worried about me all the time because I’m single, but I thought I would lay it to rest if I told them I finally had a boyfriend, or at least someone I’m talking to.” Your speech gets faster and faster with every word that comes out of your mouth. “I know it sounds crazy, Iー” 

“I’ll do it.”

You stare blankly at him, unsure if you heard correctly, but a smile continues to creep onto the corners of your lips. “You will?” 

Jeongguk reaches forward, gently taking your hand in his. “It would be an honor to be your boyfriend,” he says, even if it’s just pretend. “And an even bigger honor to be your husband.” 

“y/n!” 

You don’t hear your name being called relentlessly until your co-workers are shouting for your attention. Their words fall upon deaf ears. 

As usual, they had been gossiping about their boyfriends and their weekend plans. You checked out of the conversation the moment Yumi opened her mouth and uttered her fiancé’s name, resisting the urge to gag. 

You look up from your lap, slightly too distracted. There’s a small, maroon stain and a rip in the skirt of your dress. It’s not easy keeping your clothes in pristine condition when you’re constantly running toward danger. You’re lost in thought, wondering how much the tailor shop will charge you for sewing it back together. 

“What are you doing this weekend? There’s a new episode of that drama you like, right? Are you going to order delivery again?” Yumi assumes. “You know, you should step outside from time to time. Maybe you’ll find a nice person to date if Tinder doesn’t pan out.” 

“Actually, I have plans after work,” you announce before returning to inspect the damage on your dress. 

“With who? Did you meet someone on the app?” The cadence of Sujin’s voice is airy, shocked in disbelief. 

“I’m meeting up with some guy.” You try not to make it a big deal, but these girls always blow it out of proportion. “I didn’t meet him from the app though.” 

“You’re seeing someone? Who?! You can’t just drop the news and expect us not to ask for the details!” Sujin shouts. 

“He was at the library the other day, and he asked me out. He’s the one with the tattoos ー y’all would recognize him if you saw him,” you explain. “Minji is his daughter.” 

“The guy with the coffee?” Everyone collectively gasps upon connecting the dots. “Him? How did you manage to pull that?!” 

Ouch. That hurts. 

“I would dump my fiancé in a heartbeat if the coffee guy could blow my back out,” Yumi confesses. 

How could she be so shallow? She was just talking about how much she loved her fiancé. Is he really that disposable? Besides, is Jeongguk nothing more than the coffee guy? A pretty face who’s made for a one night stand? You’re starting to think that people don’t actually value their relationships. They just want a partner for the sake of having one.

There’s a sudden chime that resounds through the air, pulling you out of your thoughts. The service bell at the front desk had been struck. It’s odd considering most people exited the library by now, knowing that it closes in ten minutes. 

You all poke your head through the doorway to catch a glimpse of the patron. Their eyes widen in surprise when they see the coffee guy standing at the front desk. He stands tall and proud with a military stance, a head above everyone else. There’s a bouquet of pink camellias resting in his hand in place of his typical americano. 

“Jeongguk? I thought we were meeting at the cafe.” Perhaps you remembered the details of the conversation wrong.  

When you speak his name out loud, all the girls shift their gaze to one another. Could it really be true that you’re seeing a man? 

“I thought it would be nice if I could surprise you, and we’d walk there together.” He flashes a smile that sends an arrow straight through the heart (and through those of your coworkers). For a second, you think that Yumi might just faint. 

He’s handsome as ever, just as you recall. But today, there’s something that’s slightly out of place. There’s a bandage that rests on the bridge of his nose. It’s pink with Sanrio characters plastered all over it ー Hello Kitty and My Melody. There’s something about it that makes him even more endearing. 

You try to stifle a giggle as you shoot him an apology. “Sorry, can you hang around for a few more minutes? I have some things to do before closing.”

“Take your time, angel.” Jeongguk says. Crinkles begin to form at the corner of his eyes as the curve of his lips overtake him. 

You have to admit that the pet name made your heart flutter. He plays into the role of a sweet boyfriend pretty accurately. It’s all part of the act. 

Sujin closes the door to the office. The girls break into squeals. They playfully hit your shoulder in disbelief, elbowing your sides. “I can’t believe it! y/n is going out with a man?!” 

“And he’s hot!” 

You shake your head before returning to your work station, ignoring their cheers. But you can’t help the subtle smile that reaches your lips. Maybe the girls will finally leave you the fuck alone. 

“I’m so sorry for the wait.” You apologize as you approach Jeongguk, looking like a disheveled mess after an 8 hour shift. Your blouse is slightly wrinkled, and you’re certain there’s residue left behind from all the marker stains the kids had carelessly drawn on you. Your arm is full of stickers, and you’ll have to remember to peel them off later. 

In the daycare, Jeongguk is propped on top of a bean bag chair that is much too small for his body. There’s a manhwa that rests in his lap. It’s the one his daughter can’t stop talking about. 

“I got here ten minutes early anyways.” He places the book on the table before clambering to his feet. “Oh yeah, and these are for you.” He passes the bouquet of camellias. 

You raise your hands, not really sure how to accept the gift. You’re not the type of girl to receive flowers, love poems, or pretty things. Nobody has ever pursued you in that way. All you ever receive are cursory glances and awkward smiles, but never anything as beautiful as this. 

He inches the flowers a little closer to you, urging you to take it. 

You pull the bouquet to your nose, taking a whiff of the sweet scent. “These are really pretty. Thank you for that.” You motion for him to wait just a moment longer as you place the flowers into a vase. 

Through the porthole of the office door, you can see the girls squeal and jump around in unison. 

“Are you ready? Should we head out?” Jeongguk’s lips curl into a boyish smile. 

You nod, sharply turning your heels in an attempt to hide the fluster of your face. Before you could take a step forward, you’re pulled to a halt. There’s a tug on your arm that spins you around. Jeongguk’s fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you close. 

“Wait one sec,” his breath fans across your face. “You have some chalk on your cheek. Can I-?” He raises his hand, tentatively learning forward. 

Heat rushes to the surface of your skin, yet you nod your head, giving into his request. “Is this part of the act?” you wonder out loud, low enough for Jeongguk to hear. 

“Only if you want it to be.” His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. 

As he leans forward to wipe the dust off your cheek, your throat dries. You freeze, attempting to avoid his gaze. You’re not certain whether you’ll explode upon gazing into his dark brown eyes. 

Instead, you keep your sight locked straight ahead. It’s a terrible idea considering his strong chest is right in front of you. The top two buttons of his white collared shirt are undone, and the space between his pecs are exposed, a necklace dangling in between. There’s a chance that you might die staring at it, so you accept the risk of embarrassing yourself and glance at his visage instead. 

“There’s my pretty girl,” Jeongguk says, dusting off the chalk. 

A wave of butterflies swarm in the pit of your stomach, and your mind goes blank. You have no idea how to respond to such a compliment, and you’re unable to when your throat constricts. Your body warms, hyper aware of his palm on your cheek and the one wrapped around your wrist. Your one free hand that is not occupied by his clasp shoots up, hovering over the bandage plastered on his nose. 

“What happened here?” The words splutter out of your mouth, trying to say something. Anything. Perhaps your anxiety would be less noticeable if you could just act natural ー If you could stop standing there without a single thought in your head. 

“Bumped into a wall,” Jeongguk chuckles. It’s a blatant lie. He could never be this clumsy. In actuality, he had failed to duck during a sparring match with another spy at the agency. Fuck Kim Mingyu and his stupidly beefy arms. “Minny picked the bandage for me.” 

“You mean you didn’t choose to wear the Hello Kitty? I think it suits you.” As soon as you graze the bridge of his nose, his laughter turns into a dramatic groan. Soft murmurs of ‘ow, ow’ fall from his lips. 

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry!” You apologize. 

His other hand gently grasps your palm, pulling it away from his sprained injury. Maybe your dating profile was right when it mentioned you don’t know your own strength. 

“Don’t worry, let’s just hope that Minny is okay,” Jeongguk remarks. “She insisted on wearing a matching bandaid because ‘if appa’s hurt, then Minny’s hurt.’ Kind of like a voodoo doll.” 

Subconsciously, the thought of Minny wearing a matching bandage despite being perfectly fine forces your lips into a smile. 

“Should we head out now?” Jeongguk leans closer, voice barely above a whisper. “Can I hold your hand? Give your friends a real show to watch?” It’s as if your hand wasn’t already in his. 

You nod your head, suddenly remembering that this is all an act. You’re reminded of the girls crowded around the office door, peeking through the small window to catch a glimpse of the action. 

Jeongguk’s hand glides down from your palm and between your fingers, lacing them together. A breath hitches in your throat, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. You can hear the high pitched screams from behind when the girls are convinced you’ve stepped far away enough. But it isn't as loud as the sound of your heart beating out of your chest. 

The two of you make your way to the cafe, walking side by side, hand-in-hand, occasionally bumping shoulders when you walk a little too close. 

“How was your day? I realized I never asked you what you do for work, and I don’t really know much about you in general,” you chuckle, slightly embarrassed. “I thought we would at least have our first kiss by now if we were married.” There’s a hint of sarcasm in your tone, one that Jeongguk easily recognizes because his informant, Seokjin, is nothing but shits and giggles. 

“We would have done more than kissing, but we can start slow.” The corners of his lips curl into a playful grin. His words make you freeze, but it doesn’t seem to faze him. 

With your hands linked together, Jeongguk is pulled back by your halted movements. He turns to face you, displaying his pretty eye-smile. “I’m a journalist,” he says. “I write investigative articles when they don’t ask me to cover silly politics.” 

Although it’s not completely true, it’s not totally false at the same time. He writes exposé articles based on the intel he uncovers from his spy missions. The articles that he writes are written under an anonymous name, obviously so he can’t be tracked for exposing highly classified information. Nobody should ever know that he’s digging into the lives of corrupt politicians. Jeongguk might never see the light of day if word gets out. 

“My routine is pretty consistent,” he explains. “I did some research for my article, wrote a few thousand words in my drafts before deciding to scrap the entirety of it, and I picked up Minny from kindergarten. I asked my friend to babysit her while I’m away tonight.” 

Jeongguk wants to scrub his tongue after admitting that Seokjin is his “friend.” 

“What about you? How’s your life at the library?” Jeongguk asks. 

You describe the events that spiraled today as the two of you head inside the coffee shop and place your orders. “Well, the girls seemed convinced that we’re on a date,” you chuckle. 

Jeongguk gasps. His hand clenches against his chest as if he’s wounded by your words. “You mean to tell me this isn’t a date? I thought we had something special.” He feigns exasperation. “You are my wife, after all, aren’t you?” 

You don’t care to admit how amusing it is to hear the word wife coming from him. Despite the smile that plays on your lips, you shake your head no.

“This isn’t a real date,” you explain in denial. Nobody has ever asked you out, and you’ll be damned if the first time is just pretend. “But I guess this is good practice, especially when the stakes are higher for the interview.” 

“Hmm… practice.” A crinkle forms between Jeongguk’s brows, lost in thought. 

“I have to admit that I don’t have a lot of experience with dating, and that’s why we have to practice.” You shake your head, flustered. “Actually, I’ve never even been in a relationship.” 

“Why’s that?” He asks the age-old question. 

“I’m not really the type that people fall for.” You tuck your head between your shoulders, offering a shrug. “I’m quiet ー Not really good with people. I’m a bit of a late bloomer. I spent a lot of my youth taking care of my younger brother.” That’s only the jist of it. You don’t bother getting into the nitty gritty details. Being a full-time assassin isn’t necessarily “first-date appropriate” conversation. 

“How many partners have you had?” You bounce back, diverting the attention away from you. 

“Just one, my wife who passed. We had been together since we were in high school.” The lie seeps through his teeth so easily. It’s terrifying. But the less you know, the better. 

The thought of being Jeongguk’s first “girlfriend” since the passing of his wife makes you incredibly nervous. Upon seeing the sullen avoidance in his eyes, you don’t bring it up again. Instead, you try to lighten the mood.

The two of you fall into a routine of volleying questions back and forth. If you’re planning to convince everyone that you’re husband and wife, you’re going to have to know more than just one another’s (supposed) names and (supposed) professions. 

You start with the easy stuff. “Where did you grow up?” 

“Busan. I miss the sound of the ocean, but I don’t mind the city as long as Minny goes to the best school in the country. What about you?” 

“I grew up in a town so small you wouldn’t be able to find it on the map, but it’s not far from the capital.”

“Cryptic, I like it.” A grin forms onto the corners of lips before he takes a sip of his coffee. 

Over the next hour, you learn that Jeongguk, as robust and intimidating as he looks, is warm and gentle. His favorite thing about being a father is having someone to love and protect. To him, Minji is a bundle of joy who makes his day brighter despite the hurdles that come with being a parent. He would do anything in the world to give his child the life he never quite had. 

Likewise, having lost his parents at a young age, he learned to lead a fulfilling life all on his own. Instead of letting it bog him down, he clings onto the simple things for respite, searching for happiness in every corner of the universe. 

He loves the rain and how it fleetingly smells like the warm and muggy summers of his hometown. Although he doesn’t experience the monsoon season quite like he used to, he loves to watch Minji splash around in her yellow rain boots. His favorite time of day is golden hour, especially when the fluffy white clouds are tinted with orange hues, reminding him of his first dog, Gureum. 

Jeongguk has a slight addiction to black coffee, even if it makes his stomach hurt on the odd occasions (and you suggest he tries tea instead). He likes his eggs scrambled, and he prefers waffles over pancakes. He has plenty of awful habits like singing karaoke at four in the morning followed by cooking a pot of instant ramen to satiate his brutal cravings (yes, his food preferences are vital to your understanding of who Jeongguk is as a person, down to his core). 

He tells you about his trip to Chicago some months ago where he definitely deepthroated a deep dish pizza after being dared by Seokjin. As much as he loved traveling, he was easily home-sick and desperately missing his fix of samgyeopsal. In fact, he tells you he would love to invite you over one day so he can make you a meal. And thank God for that because you are not handy in the kitchen whatsoever. 

You learn that not necessarily all of his tattoos have meaning. The tiger is an emblem of his country while the tiger lily is his birth flower, and it is a silent, desperate plea to be loved. There’s a silly emoji on his middle finger just because he thinks it’s funny. He hates having to cover it up when he goes to work (tattoos may not have been the smartest idea knowing that he has to keep his identity a secret, but the damage is already done), and he’s certain that everybody judges him for the ink on his arms. 

“As long as you like your tattoos, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” You offer him a warm smile as though nothing could ever hurt him. God, how he wishes that was true. 

For some reason, Jeongguk doesn’t know how to react to your words. He’s only ever been told to cover up his skin as if he has something to be ashamed of.  

In exchange for his stories, you trade Jeongguk pieces of your life. How your favorite memory from youth was when you had taken the city bus an hour and a half down to the beach with your brother, San, where you’d build sand castles on the brink of collapse. Sometimes, the smell of salt air and the longing for August still lingers to this day. 

You tell him about your attempt at joining the knitting club so you could make cute sweaters and vests. They were never perfect. But at least they kept your brother warm during the winters. Besides, you had fun playing dress-up with him. Jeongguk finds that perhaps the boldest thing you’ve ever done is bleach your hair strawberry blonde, only for it to turn out orange. 

His laughter blooms through his chest when you tell him about the time you almost set the microwave on fire. Your mom never told you that aluminum foil doesn’t belong in there, and you had to learn that the hard way. That’s probably why you should never set foot in the kitchen again. Nevertheless, you made mistake after mistake just so that San could have food on the table everyday after school. At least you’ve perfected the art of cutting fruit at this point ー no cooking skills required. 

Although the two of you talk for what seems like hours, you can’t help but think there’s so much more to this man, and he’s unwilling to share. It doesn’t necessarily bother you because you, too, have secrets of your own. You can’t expect him to reveal everything about his life, even if he never does. 

It’s well into the evening when Jeongguk walks you home. The path is quiet. It’s illuminated by the dim light of the street lamps. It feels like a scene from a movie you’ve once watched ー the origin of all your teenage fantasies. But this is real. You’re just a girl, standing in front of a boy, and that’s where it all begins. 

“y/n?” The way he says your name brings you to a halt. His voice, although usually confident, is timid and uncertain. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right? We still have a lot to talk about.” He looks at you with stars in his eyes, although none of them belong to you, and they could never be yours. 

Your lips press together in a tight line, nodding your head in affirmation. As you bid your goodbyes, you wonder if it would be inappropriate to give him a hug. After all, you’ve only just met the day prior, and this is nothing but pretend. Yet how will you ever grow accustomed to the touch of your husband?

Your arms remain crossed over your chest. You look down at your shoes, kicking a loose pebble at the front of your door, contemplating. 

But he reaches for your hand, lightly grasping around your fingers. You jolt back as if he set your nerves aflame. Your gaze lifts toward his eyes, but it quickly lowers as Jeongguk descends down to one knee. 

Your heart pounds against your chest, and you pray that he cannot hear it. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have a proper ring…” He begins. “I hope you can accept this for now, and I swear I’ll get a diamond on your hand one day ー As big as you want.” 

Jeongguk carefully pulls a small metal band from his pocket. It can easily be confused for the end piece of a keychain ー perhaps it’s something that his daughter had left behind in his coat, never to be remembered. But for Jeongguk, he knows perfectly well that it’s the pin from a grenade he had tossed the week prior on an escape mission. He slides the ring onto your finger, and although it is slightly too large, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I may not have been your first choice of a partner, and for all I know, I could have been dead last, but thank you for sticking by me. I swear I’ll take care of you. I’ll hold your heart with gentle hands, and I won’t ever let it break.” 

After all, this is just pretend. 

But for some reason, his voice sounds so earnest, and you almost believe him. To be frank, you never really cared about lavish weddings and seven carat diamonds. If you were to ever look for a companion, all you could ask for is an honest partner. 

Too bad Jeon Jeongguk is anything but that.

Throughout the next week, you spend more and more time getting to know your new “boyfriend.” Because of this, you have to put your side hustle on pause and constantly decline assignments on your burner phone. You certainly wouldn’t want Jeongguk to overhear your plans to murder while he sits pretty beside you, waiting to hear about your day ー your hopes, your dreams, and anything else that’s on your mind. But it would be a shame if you cut your dates early, only to spend less than a second to put a bullet through your enemies’ heads.

You’d have much more fun with Jeongguk instead. Because he tends to plan the cutest surprise dates, and they’re so incredibly thoughtful. Sometimes, Minji would accompany your dates when Seokjin can’t babysit (he’s too busy trying to find his own baby mama so he can prove Minji wrong). Nevertheless, Minji adores the time that you spend together because it feels like you’re a real family.

The three of you would drive to the movies, play boardgames, and eat ice cream for dinner. Jeongguk had even taken you both to the annual carnival that you desperately wanted to check out. He wasn’t fond of going because those claw machines and arcade games are absolute scams! Yet you caught the smug grin on his face when he finally won a stuffed bunny after downing fifty bucks. He was just so addicted to the thrill of nearly winning: “I could have gotten that!” 

During your dates, you would laugh for hours on end, but by the end of the night, Minji would fall asleep on her father’s shoulder. That’s usually your cue to head home. Sometimes, you think that he might kiss you goodnight, but he never does. His lips only ever brush your knuckles like the gentleman that he is. 

…

True to his word, Jeongguk invites you over for dinner the following Friday.

When you arrive at his apartment, you are instantly the worst houseguest known to mankind. Your umbrella is dripping wet from the pouring rain, effectively ruining Jeongguk’s wooden floors. However, that’s not the problem that Jeongguk has with you. The problem is that you’re unable to stop laughing at Jeongguk’s attire. 

Surely, your parents had taught you to be kind, especially to your hosts. Well, when Jeongguk swings the door open, revealing a frilly apron, something akin to what your grandmother would wear, you couldn’t help it! A picture of My Melody is stamped onto the chest, staring straight into your soul. 

It isn’t lost on you ー the irony of a big, strong man, no doubt subjected to dress up in his daughter’s choice of clothing. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Jeongguk pouts, tilting his head like a puppy. 

You stifle your giggle behind a tight lipped smile, but you’re so close to bursting at the seams. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

After placing your shoes at the door, Jeongguk leads you into his humble abode. He takes the bottle of chardonnay from your hands, thanking you for the gift, and places it onto the dining table. 

“Dinner should be ready in an hour,” he informs you. 

“I know I’m not very useful in the kitchen, but if you need help-” 

Before you can even think about lifting a finger, Jeongguk is quick to suggest an alternative. “No, don't worry, you’re my guest. Just relax, okay? Minny is in the living room. You should spend time with her.” 

In the adjacent room, Minji is crouched over her study material. Her worksheets spread across the coffee table. Each question covers a different subject: basic biology, political science, religion and ethics, foreign language, etc. You never quite realized how much pressure children face in the education system. 

After all, you were never really concerned with grades. You never thought about applying to the top school in the nation. In fact, your grades had fallen down a slippery slope by the time you were in high school. Rather, all of your time was dedicated to earning money and supporting your family. 

When you sit beside Minji, she beckons you closer before you can even greet her. “I’m dying. Help me,” she pleads with wide eyes. You look down to see her math homework ー fractions, Minji’s sworn enemy. 

“Appa wants me to study, but he won’t give me the answers,” Minji whines. 

You can’t help but chuckle. “Minny, you have to figure out the answers on your own if you want to do well.”

The sound of your advice makes her drop her head on the table with a soft thump. 

“Here, let’s do a few questions together,” you suggest. 

Try as you might, you only manage to complete half of the assignment. Minji huffs, slightly frustrated when she doesn’t understand the concept. 

You pat her back, consoling the small child. “Once you eat dinner, you’ll have more brain energy. Maybe you just need a break.” 

A lightbulb goes off above her head, and she springs to her feet. “Appa! Can I give eomma a tour of the house?” 

You tilt your head, amused by the sound of Minji calling you her mother. 

“That sounds like a great idea!” Jeongguk cranes his neck to peek at his devious daughter. “Just make sure you study again when you’re done.” 

Minji takes her father’s approval as a cue to grab your hand in hers, showing you every corner of the house ー all of her drawings taped to the fridge, her favorite stuffed animals lined up at the end of the bed, and the sparkly clean toilet where she poops every morning. After describing everything in excruciating detail, you could have sworn that Minji would run out of words to say. But she never does. 

“What’s behind that door?” You point to the end of the hall. 

“That’s appa’s bedroom. He told me I should never go in there unless he gives me permission.” 

You suppose it’s healthy to set boundaries between you and your child. It’s not like Jeongguk has distasteful art hanging on his walls, and it’s not likely that he’s hiding a dead body in there. He doesn’t seem to be the type to store skeletons in the closet. You, on the other hand, now that’s a different story. Perhaps Jeongguk just needs a little privacy at the end of every night. 

Minji’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. “Eomma! This is your room! Well, it’s a guest room, but appa says it’s basically yours if you ever want a place to stay.” 

You step into the final room, glancing around the walls at a loss of words. Your eyes are drawn to the shelves. They’re brimming with so many novels. It’s like your own personal library. You could probably spend the entire day just browsing through each book. 

As you slide open one of the drawers, you’re surprised to find an array of period products. There are also makeup wipes, an abundance of face masks, some sunscreen, and essential oils (apparently, women love that sort of stuff according to an article Jeongguk had bookmarked). There’s even a candle that’s labeled ‘ocean breeze.’

“Do you like it?” Minji looks up at you with wide, glimmering eyes as she uncaps the candle, shoving her entire nose against the wax with a hard whiff. 

“I love it, Minny, thank you for the tour. I really appreciate it. You should get back to your studies. I’ll help your dad with dinner, but if you need my help, just call me, okay?” 

Minji sniffles theatrically and drags her feet into the living room. 

You head towards the kitchen to find Jeongguk slicing a daikon radish with military precision. There’s soft music playing in the background, accompanied by the pouring rain outside, occasionally interrupted by the soft huff of frustration when Jeongguk’s bangs cover his eyes. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows, revealing his strong forearms covered in tattoos. 

Jeongguk finally looks up at you in the doorway. He flashes you a smile ー delighted, and very much enamored. “How was the tour?” 

“Your home is so cozy. But I don’t know if I was supposed to look at the top secret file you forgot to put away.” 

“I- WHAT?” He yelps. The shock on his face is quickly replaced with an acute pain. The knife had sliced through his palm upon one careless motion. 

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters under his breath, ensuring that Minji won’t hear his foul language.

Jeongguk drops the radish onto the cutting board with a thud. He forces pressure onto the wound with the pad of his thumb to stop the bleeding. In actuality, he’s more concerned about the food than he is about his finger. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You rush over to his side, reaching for his wrist. “Let’s run it under cold water.” 

The two of you waddle towards the small sink, attached by the hip. 

“I was kidding about the secret files. I’m sorry about the cut.” You’re ridden with guilt, seeing that your mindless joke had cost Jeongguk his hand. 

“No, no, you don’t have to apologize. It was my fault. I was the one holding the knife.” 

You shake your head. “Don’t blame yourself either. It happens. I get cuts all the time.” If there’s ever a blade against your skin, it’s usually by the hands of your enemies. You, on the other hand, are a pro when it comes to handling knives. 

Jeongguk shuts the faucet off, examining the cut. It’s shallow. You could hardly see it.

“I’ll grab a bandaid for you,” you offer, already sprinting down the hallway. 

“They’re in the bathroom! Medicine cabinet!” Jeongguk shouts. 

“I know! Minny gave me a tour of everything,” you shout back. You pluck the ointment and the familiar Hello Kitty bandages off the shelf before shuffling back to the kitchen. “Minny shared way too much information about the inventory of your medicine cabinet. Apparently, you have two morphine capsules left. You should get a refill on those.” 

Jeongguk hums in recognition, and you wonder why he would need a painkiller as strong as morphine. 

Taking Jeongguk’s hand in yours, you assess the cut and gently blow on the appendages with the purse of your lips. You place the pink bandage onto his hand, and out of habit, you give him a quick kiss on the booboo. 

When you pull back, you’re absolutely mortified. You avoid his gaze, trying to hide your own humiliation. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that. The kids at the daycare always ask for a kiss when they’re injured.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” A rosy hue dusts over Jeongguk’s cheeks. Why is he so shy when he’s usually the bold and courageous one? He’ll be sure to call Seokjin tonight to ask what this means ー to be so flustered and afflicted by your touch. Is his skin supposed to feel like it’s on fire? 

With the look on his face, you’re not quite sure who’s more embarrassed. So you run towards the sink and nervously wash your hands, practically rubbing the skin raw. 

“I’ll cut the radish for you.” You take his place by the cutting board. 

When he asks if you’re sure, you just hum in response, having already started, and he succumbs to your offer. Typically, Jeongguk would not be willing to accept anyone’s help. But there’s warmth and sincerity in your tone.

“Let me tie this for you.” Jeongguk steps behind you, lightly brushing your hair back to keep it out of your eyes. 

Heat rushes to your face, and you nod in agreement. Instantly, Jeongguk separates your hair into three different strands.

“You know how to braid?” you ask, chopping away at the radish. “You can just tie a simple ponytail if you want.” 

“Minny said she wanted to go to school with a French braid. I didn’t know how to do it, so I looked at a video online. I’m not that good, but let me practice, okay?” He ties off your hair with the elastic that he keeps on his wrist for standby. “Tadaaa!” A proud grin sits on his pretty lips. 

You can tell that the braid is a little too loose for your liking, but you’ll be sure to show him how to properly braid later. Perhaps after dinner. “How does it look?” You wonder. 

“You’re perfect,” Jeongguk says affirmatively, sweet as ever. “Here, let me give you an apron.” 

Before you know it, he loops a string of fabric over your head. It sits loosely on the back of your neck. Jeongguk’s hand rests on your shoulder blade, pushing your hips against the counter as he reaches to tie the string around the small of your back. He fixates on the knot that tethers around his thick fingers as he works on the fabric. His breath is hot against your neck. You can feel the heat radiate off of him. 

When he pulls back, you swallow the lump in your throat, sighing a breath of relief. “Thanks,” you murmur. 

The worst part is that Jeongguk doesn’t even realize the effect that he has on you. You wonder when he’ll put an end to this madness. Because at this rate, you think you might explode if he inches any closer to you. 

As it seems, fate has other plans. 

While he watches you cook, he hovers behind you; not because he’s controlling, but because he wants to make sure you’re safe. He has to admit that you’re skilled with a knife, but your cooking techniques aren’t quite there. 

“When you cut, curl your fingers and tuck your knuckles underneath them.” Jeongguk inches closer and places his chin on the crown of your head. He slots himself against your back as his protective arms cage you against the marble counter. His hands slide down from your wrist, careful not to startle you, before cupping them around your fingers. He gently guides your hand, ensuring that you don’t cut yourself. 

You don’t realize that you’ve been holding your breath until he steps away. Maybe cooking isn’t as bad as you make it out to be.

The heavy downpour of rain patters against the windows. 

“It looks like the weather is getting worse. I didn’t realize it would storm tonight,” Jeongguk peeks between the blinds before lighting a few candles. The lamps had been flickering because of the torrential rain. “The roads aren’t very safe. If you want to stay over, you can take the guest room.” 

You nearly drop the cutlery on the table in the midst of setting up dinner. “Ar- are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.” 

“Stop with that, you’re never a bother,” he reassures you. “If you want, I’ll drive you home first thing tomorrow morning.” 

You think about the invitation before ultimately deciding to accept. “Thank you, Jeongguk. And by the way, I really appreciate how you set the room up for me.” You shoot him a grateful smile. 

“Anything for my wife.” The warmth of his words makes your heart flutter. 

When the table is finally set, the three of you settle down for dinner. 

You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the beautiful arrangement of food you have yet to touch. There’s tender pork belly, fermented shrimp, spicy oyster radish, fresh garlic, and pickled cabbage among a bunch of other side dishes you can’t even put a name to. 

“You said you were hungry, right?” Jeongguk picks up the cabbage leaf and stuffs the ingredients inside. He wraps it into a roll and places it on top of your fluffy white rice. 

Watching the steam rise in front of you, you nearly bawl from how delicious it smells. The tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. 

Nobody has ever made you a home-cooked meal since your parents had passed. 

“Are you- uhm,” Jeongguk lifts his hand, not knowing what to do with his own limbs. A set of chopsticks rests between his thumb and pointer finger, fish cake tucked between the silver metal. It hovers halfway across the table, abruptly stopping before he could reach your bowl. “You can cry, it’s okay-” 

You don’t dare to move a single muscle when the tear falls down your cheeks. 

Minji reaches over to wipe the droplet away. You can’t tell if she wants to comfort you, or rather, she’s just looking to steal a bite of your pork belly. But you’re inclined to believe it’s the former. Her father had already served a piece of meat in her bowl. 

“It’s okay, eomma. You can cry. Just… don’t do it over the dishes. You don’t want your food to be salty,” Minji advises. 

Jeongguk calls his daughter’s name, scolding. He plucks out a few tissues from the box and passes them across the table. 

You wipe your eyes, praying that the tears will stop. “I’m sorry, I’m fine,” you shake your head. “I just don’t really remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal with anyone other than myself. I think my parents were the last people to ever cook for me.” 

“What about your brother?” Jeongguk inquires. 

“I’ve always made food for him growing up, and ever since he went to university, he’s been away from home. I really haven’t seen him in a while.” A sullen smile tugs on your lips. “We usually just talk on the phone.” 

Jeongguk topples more food onto your bowl, filling it to the brim. “Whenever you come over, you can have any kind of food that you want. Just name it, and it’ll be yours. Even if I don’t know how to make it, I’ll learn. Now let’s eat up, okay?” He picks up a piece of pork belly, prepared to bribe you like a child who hasn’t stopped crying. 

You open your mouth, allowing him to feed you, humming in satisfaction. You mutter a thank you before putting on your bravest smile as the rain pours outside. 

It’s late in the night when you hear a soft sniffle that echoes from the other side of the bedroom door, followed by a dull strike against the wooden surface, a call for your attention.

“Eomma?”

It never takes you by surprise when a child who isn’t yours calls you their mother. It happens often enough at the daycare center. Tiny humans let the term of endearment slip from their loose lips ー some variation of “mom,” “mommy,” or “eomma.” 

These children cry for you when they have trouble opening their chocolate milk, or when they get a “booboo” from their arts and crafts activity, nothing but a measly, barely-there papercut. These children have an understanding that they’re safe with you. That you’d take care of them like a mother would, opening their bottles, helping to clean their mess, kissing their pain away, and wiping the tears dry. Sometimes they don’t notice their honest mistake, having called you their mother. Other times, they’re apologetic and embarrassed. But what’s there to be embarrassed about? 

The vocabulary of children is limited to only a few hundred words, but they always resort to the one thing they know. Whether it is, “mom,” “mommy,” “eomma,” or so on and so forth, they trust you in the purest form. They feel protected and comforted by you. 

Although you’ve heard it a dozen times before, you’ve never seen a child mean it so earnestly, not like Minji, and definitely not at two in the morning. 

You open the bedroom door, looking down to see her tear stained cheeks. The instinct to protect kicks in like second nature. “Minny, what’s wrong?” 

Lightning flashes through the sky, followed by a loud crash of thunder. The little girl flinches with a yelp, squeezing her eyes shut, pressing her hands against her ears. 

“It’s so loud, ‘m scared,” Minji pouts. 

You crouch down to wrap your arms around her shoulders, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She shivers in your hold, trying to calm down as you rub soothing circles onto her back. 

“Don’t worry, Minny. The thunder can’t catch you while you’re in here,” you murmur, adjusting the nightcap on the top of her head. “You’re always safe with me.” 

“Can I sleep with you and appa tonight?” Minji asks. 

“Th- the both of us?” Your eyes widen. Perhaps Minji doesn’t quite understand the terms of your arrangement. You’re not actually her mom, and Jeongguk isn’t really your husband. Certainly, sleeping in the same bed as Jeongguk crosses some imaginary boundary. “I- I don’t know if appa would-” 

“Can we ask him?” Minji pleads, and she looks like she’s about to burst. It doesn’t hurt to try, right?

So you relent, and the two of you tiptoe down the hall to Jeongguk’s bedroom, hand-in-hand. There’s a light that leaks from the bottom of the doorway. Could he possibly be awake this late in the night? 

You motion at the door, encouraging Minji to knock. She has to be a big girl, expressing her needs, asking for help when she needs it. 

“Appa!” Minji whacks the palm of her hand against the wooden surface, and you have to correct her form. You squeeze her hands into a fist, showing her how to properly knock and urge her to try again. 

On the other side, you can hear the shuffle of papers and the sound of wheels scraping against the linoleum floor, followed by the pad of footsteps. The door swings open, revealing a set of sleepy eyes, shrouded behind a pair of glasses. Jeongguk’s hair is disheveled, having run his hands through his overgrown mane a million times (he’s been pondering whether he should cut it, but you’ve shyly expressed how he looks handsome either way, and right now is no exception). 

“Appa, can I sleep with the both of you tonight?” Minji hiccups between sniffles, and a tear treads down her cheek. When a crash of thunder sounds through the air, she lurches forward to wrap her arms around her father’s legs, shaking like a leaf.

Jeongguk pats the top of Minji’s head to comfort her. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“The sky,” Minji shakes her head, pressing her face deeper into her father’s thigh. “Too loud. It’s scary. Wanna sleep with you and eomma.” 

Normally, Jeongguk would be stressed, weighing his options, trying to determine the best course of action for his child. But there’s a sigh of relief that slips from his lips when his gaze meets yours. There’s a deep blush that spreads across his cheeks. “Is this okay with you?” His lips move in silence, mouthing the words, only for you to see.

In response, you nod your head and flash him a concerned smile. “You?” You mouth the words right back. 

Jeongguk’s answer is obvious when he wraps his arms around the little girl and lifts her into the air. “Let’s go to sleep, Minny.”

Jeongguk taps his chin, pondering, as he stares at the little girl sandwiched in the center of his bed. “Something doesn’t feel right.” But there’s an unmistakable glimmer in his eyes. As tired as he is, he doesn’t seem to let it show. “You know what we should do?” 

Before you can respond, he’s already darting out of the bedroom. He stumbles into the living area, grabbing all the mismatched furniture that he can find. There’s a coat rack in one hand and a stool in another. He runs to grab a fishing pole from the closet, one that he had stolen from Seokjin and never returned. 

“What’re you doing?” Your brows furrow, confused. But the smile on your face tells him that you’re thoroughly entertained. 

“We’re building a fort! Come help me!” He takes hold of your hand and leads you into the living room. “Here, take as many pillows as you can.” Instantly, he holds out a stack of cushions. And who are you to say no? 

With your inventory in hand, you run back to Jeongguk’s bedroom and plop them down onto the bed. “Minny, put the pillows wherever you want! Make it comfy for yourself.” 

The three of you get to work, constructing a pillow fort, and suddenly, you’re five years old all over again. 

Jeongguk returns with spare bed sheets and throw-blankets, tenting them over the makeshift poles. When you’re finally satisfied with your fort, the two of you climb onto the mattress on either side of Minji, huffing and puffing from all the energy exerted. 

“That was fun,” you say, exasperated. A beat of silence passes by as you catch your breath. “Thank you again for letting me sleep over, by the way.” 

There’s fondness in Jeongguk’s eyes as he turns to look at you. “I hope you know that you can stay as long as you want, and you’re always welcomed whenever.” His sentiment makes your heart beat a little faster. “I told you I’d take care of you.” 

“You should know…” As you stare at the roof of the makeshift fort, you try to make sense of how you ended up here. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like you deserve it. “Taking care of me is more trouble than it’s worth.” 

Jeongguk’s voice is stern and relentless. “It’s not trouble. Not if it’s you. Do you really think I scare so easily?” 

You think you might cry, but you’ve already used up more than enough tears from your daily allowance. So you turn to thank him, only to be met with Jeongguk’s half-lidded eyes. He only hums in response ー there’s no need to thank him. 

His face is illuminated by the faint glow of the desk lamp on the other side of the room, the one he abandoned in favor of lulling his precious daughter to sleep. Minji holds her father’s hand while you stroke her hair. Within a few short minutes, she’s sound-asleep. The room is quiet, save for her soft snores. 

“Poor Minny, I hope that this doesn’t ruin her sleep schedule,” you whisper into the night. 

“She might need a nap tomorrow, but that’s okay. It happens sometimes.” Jeongguk lets out a yawn as he tugs the blankets up his shoulders. 

You remind him with gentle caution, “What about you? You shouldn’t sleep so late.” 

“I know, I know.” He presses his palms against his eyes, utterly exhausted. “I just wanted to squeeze one more chapter in.” 

You peek out from the gap in the fort, scanning the mess that lies on top of Jeongguk’s desk. Books are stacked across two different piles, separated by genre ー One of them being social psychology books required for his research; “How to Win Friends and Influence People” sits on the very top. 

Another stack is dedicated to the parenting books he often checks out from the library. There are Hello Kitty post-it notes that fill up nearly every page, bookmarked for future reference. 

Your eyes return to Jeongguk’s figure, convinced that you can steal a glance, evaluating his exhausted state. But he already has his eyes trained on you, albeit very groggy. A dopey grin stretches across his lips. If he wasn’t already tired before, he definitely is now. 

“You don’t have to do all this alone, Jeongguk. You need to rest.” You flash him a matching smile, hoping that the sentiment reaches him. “I don’t think that you scare easily, but I don’t think you’re immune to it either. And that’s perfectly okay. We’re all just people trying to get by.” 

Jeongguk sinks deeper into the pillows, succumbing to his sleepy desires. “Thank you,” he murmurs, slurring his words. Another yawn slips from his lips. “I’m just used to it 一 being on my own.” 

“Well, you’re not on your own anymore. You can count on me. We’re a team, remember?” 

Jeongguk hums, reduced to non-verbal responses that don’t require much energy. Exhaustion tugs at his eyelids until they’re shut. He makes a mental note to talk about this with you another day. 

You wave a hand in front of his face, convinced that he’s far gone from the state of consciousness. “If it makes you feel better, I can head back to my room now,” you whisper. You think it might be futile to warn him, considering he’s not awake. But as you peel the blanket back, one foot off the bed, there’s a warmth that envelops your wrist, and you halt in your tracks. 

“Stay,” Jeongguk, as tired as he is, manages to mutter with conviction. 

His grip doesn’t falter, and so, you relent. You crawl back beneath the sheets and let the night fade into dawn. 

The sound of rain splashes against the window. The petrichor smells like childhood. It feels like home, and Jeongguk has never slept so soundlessly in his entire life. 

Somehow, Jeongguk wakes up long before you, and you want to curse him for looking so handsome at the crack of dawn. His hair, although disheveled, looks perfectly imperfect. His shirt, as loose as it is, hugs his body in all the right places, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. His round specs perch on the bridge of his nose. 

“What do you think about going on a family outing?” Jeongguk suggests over breakfast. 

Minji’s eyes widen as excitement fills her tiny frame.

“That sounds like a fun idea,” you chime. “We should spend more time together so we can be perfect for the interview.” Because loving this man and his daughter is nothing more than a performance, right? 

 “Maybe we can stop at the convenience store and have a picnic in the park. What do you think?” In Jeongguk’s mind, he maps the layout of the market, pinpointing the food that the three of you would enjoy: kimbap, dried squid, potato chips, banana milk, and even fish shaped ice cream. 

“The weather cleared up today. It’s beautiful outside.” You say, chowing down on a bite of strawberries. 

Jeongguk raises a brow, questioning. “You want to go today? I thought you would want to go home after spending the night.” 

“I don’t have much else planned on a Sunday. It gets kind of lonely at my house,” you shrug. “Are you sick of me already?” 

But Jeongguk shakes his head. He’d be foolish to ever push you away. 

…

In sync, both you and Minji enthusiastically bounce on your feet through the streets of Seoul. You could easily pass as a family from that simple action alone. It’s evident when elders cross paths with you, a fond smile sitting on their faces: “You have a beautiful family!” There’s no denying that. The three of you are picture perfect as you link hands on either side of Minji because she is, in fact, the center of your universe. 

When you arrive at the convenience store, Jeongguk picks out a variety of nutritious food while Minji tries to slip cookies into the basket. She’s convinced that her father is not looking because he’s too busy sneaking glances at you from the other end of the snack aisle. He doesn’t think anyone would notice, but Minji surely does. 

For some reason, he feels so content standing in a supermarket with his wife who picks the freshest fruit, and his daughter who tries to distract him from seeing the junk food in her hands. In fact, he could probably spend the entire day comparing vegetable prices, and he would still have the time of his life with you. He used to hate running errands, unless it was doing laundry. But now, he doesn’t seem to mind it. Perhaps it’s because he has two companions at his side, and it feels a little less lonely. 

“Jeongguk?” You call his name from down the aisle. “Do you want me to grab coffee for you?” You reach for the top shelf on your tippy toes, struggling to grip your hands around the bottle. 

Within an instant, Jeongguk is already at your side. He wraps an arm around your waist to prevent you from falling forward. A heat envelops your hand as he wraps his fingers around your palm. “I think I’ll skip on coffee for now. How about tea?” 

Upon hearing his deep voice against the shell of your ear, you grow flustered. The heat of his body makes you freeze, and all you can do is nod your head, stunned. He reaches one shelf over to pluck a large bottle of tea, one that you can all share. 

Although he’s dropped your hand, he keeps a strong arm around your waist. His shoulders are broad enough to simply devour you. Even his chest is so firm pressed against your back.

“By the way, angel, don’t you think we’ve moved on from the formalities?” There’s a pout that rests on his lips. “I’d like it if you could call me something other than Jeongguk. I think it’s more convincing that way.” 

“But that’s your name. What do you want me to call you? Babe? Baby?” 

He shakes his head as he rests his chin in the crook of your neck. His hair brushes against your cheek, and your breath hitches in your throat.

You stutter the words out of your mouth, trying to act unaffected. “H- how about darling? Honey? Sweetie? … Handsome?” 

He doesn’t react to either of them, but handsome definitely makes him giggle. 

You ponder for a moment more. “Then what about love?” 

His arm squeezes your waist a little tighter as he presses an innocent kiss to your cheek. “That’s perfect, angel.” 

He unravels himself from you as you stare blankly at the beverage aisle in complete awe. You brush your fingertips against your cheek where his warmth lingers. 

This is still practice… right? 

As you stroll through the park, you come across a live performance at the base of the fountain. There’s a man playing guitar, and he’s serenading the crowd as he busks for money. The three of you stand to admire just for a moment. 

A few feet away, Minji is spinning and dancing to the soft melody. Meanwhile, Jeongguk moves his head to the beat of the song, singing the words, albeit faintly. 

“You have a pretty voice.” You nudge your shoulders against his to catch his attention. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” He’s bashful. 

“You should sing for me one day.” You raise your brows, trying to tempt him. 

He contemplates your request, but he teases you with a soft “maybe.” He bumps his shoulder against yours like a high schooler with a crush. 

You return the sentiment in a playful back and forth. His sweet action makes you squeal, but not for the reason that you think. Because the affectionate brush of skin against yours quickly transforms into Jeongguk hauling you into his arms. His thick biceps wrap beneath your thighs, and he lifts you into the air. You can’t stop yourself from giggling when he spins you around. There’s a combination of thrill and euphoria in your chest. 

Jeongguk’s mind briefly wanders back to the conversation he had with Minji right before he tucked her into bed last night. “Appa, do you have a crush on eomma?” 

He had scoffed at the question, brushing it off as if that was far from the truth. But Minji had thought otherwise. “When you have a crush on someone, you think about them all the time. You want them to be happy, and you would do anything to make them smile. Whenever you look at eomma, I can see your ears go red. I think you were shy when she kissed your booboo, and you probably want to kiss her back, right?” For some reason, Minji’s advice seemed to be more introspective than what he could ever pull out of Seokjin. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, returning back to reality as he tucks the memory away. When he places you on the ground, you pant with adrenaline. “I thought I was going to fall.” 

His gaze meets yours, and he playfully brushes his knuckles beneath your chin. The peak of sunset illuminates your eyes, and you look golden. An epiphany flashes through his mind, and Jeongguk mutters a curse that echoes through his thoughts. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He wants to kiss you. 

But as usual, Jeongguk’s mind wins over his heart. He bites his tongue back and offers the next best thing: “Do you think I’d ever let you fall?” He grabs your hands as if nothing had happened ー as if he isn’t falling in love ー and you sway to the beat of the music, skipping to the lawn where you can enjoy your picnic. 

…

The park is bustling with so many individuals going about their day, minding their own business. The city comes alive with all of the action that surrounds you. 

“Eomma, what’s that over there?” Minji points at an art display at the other end of the fountain. There’s a throng of people, crowding around the small space. The three of you pack up your meal, making sure to toss all of your garbage, before heading over to catch sight of the action. 

There are rows of copy paper attached to a fishing line. It strings across a makeshift perimeter, rooted with no rhyme or reason. Apparently, all the buzz is about an interactive exhibit. Anonymous letters from passersby are posted for you to view, and you may even contribute by submitting your own story. You could write about anything you want. 

“That sounds like a fun idea,” Jeongguk suggests. So he grabs paper and markers for the three of you as you get to work. 

Jeongguk tries to steal a glance at your story, but you throw your body over the paper. 

“Hey, no peeking!” you shout. “These stories are supposed to belong to strangers, okay? Let’s keep it anonymous.” 

On the other hand, Minji is enthusiastic to show her father the family portrait she’s drawn. 

As the minutes pass, you finish jotting your thoughts. It’s not perfect by any means, but the sentiment is still there. When all is said and done, you’ve agreed that you wouldn’t read one another’s stories. One day, you both will disclose the contents of your letter, and you will finally know the truth, but today is not that day. 

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Dear reader, If I’m being honest, I’ve always felt undesirable. Nobody has ever confessed their feelings for me. I’ve never been in a relationship, nor have I had my first kiss. I’ve never been stopped in the middle of the street, only to be told that I have a beautiful smile. I’ve always been average at best.  My friends are concerned that I’m lonely. They’re convinced that I need someone to take care of me, but I constantly tell them that I can do it on my own. I’ve done it my entire life.  I’ve held my own hand, swallowed the heartache, and reminded myself “I can do this!” before doing the scary things I never wanted to do. I patted myself on the back when I finished school, earned my first job, and paid all my overdue bills. I raised my younger brother at the age of eighteen as if I was a single mother. I woke up to an empty bed every single day and fed myself scraps of food, even when I didn’t want to. Sometimes, it was burnt, charred, and a little too salty. But that’s what love tastes like, right? Through the smooth sailing and the rough patches, there was no boyfriend, no girlfriend, no partner or lover. Just me. But the more that I think about it, I am so, so tired.  Perhaps I grew up too fast and burned too bright. Because now, I don’t know what to do. There’s a guy that I like, or at least I think I do. Nobody ever taught me how to sort out my feelings. I’ve always been told to give and give and give. I’ve had to sacrifice my life, my time, and all of my energy. I was never allowed to feel anger, sadness, or human connection. I never had anything for myself, and I feel empty.  But lately, being with him brings me to life.  Although I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, this is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to it. When I’m with him, my inner child wants to come out and play. That little girl has always lived in my imagination. I don’t know her very well, but she’s running around, laughing and dancing as if she knows no pain. With him, she is always reminded that she is beautiful and spectacular. That she is stronger than anyone he knows. She is safe. She is protected. Above all, she feels seen. She gets ice cream for dinner, and it’s sweet. It doesn’t quite taste like the love she once knew, but somehow, she thinks it’s even more delicious.  Surely, yes, I can take care of myself. But maybe we can learn to take care of each other. 

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Hi. I don’t know who cares to read this, but if you do, welcome.  Where do I even begin? I know this sounds pathetic, but… I don’t think anyone has ever truly understood me for who I am. Perhaps that’s my fault. I constantly reinvent myself to be the person that they want me to be. Society has so many expectations as to how I should look, how I should act, and how I should feel.  Let me paint you a picture. I’m big ー horribly buff. I have tattoos and long hair. All the neighborhood grandmas tell me I should cut it because I’d be more handsome. They even tell their grandchildren not to look up to me because I’m far from being an aspiration. Even if I’m the most charming person in the room… if I change my appearance ー if I lose weight, cover my tattoos, and buzz off my hair, they’d find another reason to hate me. It’ll never be enough. They’ll always perceive me as the bad guy and villainize me for everything I do. They say it’s better to be feared than to be loved if I cannot be both. But… I think I want to be loved. I want to be loved so bad that I would do anything to make people look at me. Yet they all shove their unwanted opinions down my throat, and I have nothing left to swallow but my own pride. I have no choice but to be exactly what they want.  Most people assume that I’m indestructible. Fortified. That I don’t have a single worry in this world. They think that I can shoulder all of these burdens, and nothing could possibly hurt me. Supposedly, I don’t ever cry ー I never break or bend or shatter because showing emotion is a sign that I’ve already lost.  But it’s not true.  I’m softer than I look. I worry that I’m not good enough. I feel like I suck at my job, and I constantly make mistakes. I don’t know how to be a good father, but I try.  I don’t really know what I want to say. I just wish that people didn’t feel entitled to my body. My body is my own except when it isn’t. It happens more often than not. Maybe then, I could finally be myself, whoever that may be.  It sounds like my life is awful, but I promise it isn’t that bad. Recently, I’ve found a small glimmer of hope. There’s one person who accepts me for who I am. She doesn’t expect me to be anyone but myself. She looks at me like I’m human ー as if I’m someone who’s worth it. Like I’m more than just an idea. She showed me that there’s kindness in this world ー that there’s bravery in being soft. She sees me, and scary enough, I think she can even see right through me. I’ve told her so many vulnerable things about myself, and she could probably stab me in the back with all that she knows. I think it would be worth it though.  There’s still so much I have to tell her. She may not know the whole truth, but one day, she will. I hope she doesn’t leave me when she finds out. Until then, I will take care of her. I will keep her safe and protect her with every inch of my life. I promise.

By the end of the week, you and Jeongguk have amped yourselves up for Yumi’s engagement party. But there’s one problem. 

Jeongguk is late. 

He’s never late. When he needs to pick up his daughter from school, he always shows up thirty minutes before dismissal. On date nights, he knocks on your door while you’re in the midst of putting on makeup, and he gladly watches you doll yourself up for the entire hour. For Jeongguk to be late, something must be terribly wrong. 

The two of you had agreed to meet up at Yumi’s party seeing that Jeongguk was running behind from work. But where could he possibly be when you need him the most? 

Outside of Yumi’s apartment complex, you pace anxiously, twiddling with the engagement present in your hands ー a cast iron skillet that you and Jeongguk had both bought at the department store. From the sidewalk, you can hear the sound of music streaming from the open windows. Endless chatter filters between each beat. You glance at your watch for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“Jeongguk, where are you?” You groan, ready to accept defeat. 

A nervous sigh falls from your lips. Your shoulders slump. If you have to wait any longer, you might just head into the party all on your own and lose face in front of your friends. 

Suddenly, you hear the echo of your name from down the street. Jeongguk is sprinting towards you. He’s a blur of motion. Before you realize it, the air is knocked out of your lungs. Jeongguk had overestimated his speed, missed his landing, and he is colliding into you with open arms. 

“Angel, I’m so sorry I’m late.” He tucks his head against your shoulder, panting. His cheeks are hot, and his hair is disheveled. He murmurs apologies against your skin. The scratch of his voice etches a frown onto your face. 

Between the two of you, Jeongguk is the more composed one. You’ve always known him to be calm, collected, a little silly, but lovely nevertheless. You’ve never seen him quite like this. He’s shaking. 

You squeeze his shoulders in an attempt to peel his body away from yours. But his arms wrap around your waist even tighter, unwilling to part ways. This scene is rather familiar, something akin to a little child seeking comfort. You pat his back, hushing him, as to tell him that everything will be okay. 

So you start counting to ten, reminding him to breathe in and out. You place your hand on his chest, strong and reliable, right over the beat of his heart. His eyes close, concentrating all of his energy on the blooming feeling inside of his ribcage. So you paint a pretty picture for him as you dwell in a little puddle of grief together. 

“My mom used to tell me that if you transport yourself to a happy place, then all your worries will melt away.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond, but he hums against your collarbone. He wants nothing more but to hear you talk. He loves the sound of your voice. What is your happy place? 

“These days, I picture myself with you in your house. We’re baking a cake with Minny, and it’s going terribly wrong.” You let out a chuckle, and it’s the sweetest thing Jeongguk has ever heard. “Well, actually, the taste is perfect. You’re the head chef after all, and you’re so talented. You know better than me.” 

You interrupt your own story with something that will definitely make him laugh. “Did you know that I’ve been borrowing cookbooks from the library? I know it sounds ridiculous. I want to get better so you don’t have to cook all the time. It’d be such a shame if I accidentally poisoned you and the cops would swarm in, charging me with second degree murder.” You can feel his smile against your neck. “I found a recipe for buckwheat noodles, and maybe we should try it out next weekend.” 

He nods against your neck, sniffling. He doesn’t want to break it to you, but all you need is a boiling pot of water to cook the noodles. 

“Well anyways, in my happy place, the kitchen is a disaster because there’s icing everywhere. Sprinkles are in your hair. I think I have flour in my bra and butter on my cheek. But we’re having fun, singing along to the radio with all of the wrong lyrics. I’d ask you to dance, and when you’re too scared of looking stupid, Minny would pull out a dance move that’s even sillier than what you could ever imagine. Because even if we can’t do it perfectly, whether it is cooking or dancing or singing, we’re still trying.”

There’s a wet tear that falls onto your collarbone. You trace a circle against Jeongguk’s chest, reminding him to concentrate all of his feelings right there. His shoulders relax and his breath evens out. 

“When we’re in our happy place, we never go hungry. So if you ever feel sad or anxious, then just meet me right here. I’ll bring the cake ー sorry, just the ingredients, actually, but I’ll get better at cooking. I swear! Minny will bring her cute attitude. And you can just bring yourself.” 

There’s a soft breeze that surrounds you. The moonlight conspires with the flight of the fireflies, illuminating the dim sidewalk. The party is long forgotten as you hold onto Jeongguk for just another moment. Reluctantly, he steps back with his head down. His eyes train on the pavement.

“How do you feel, love? Look at me.” You cup his cheeks, and he leans into your touch, nuzzling into your embrace. 

After taking a deep sigh, he lifts his head to reveal a bruised cheek and a gash above his eye, right on the brow bone. The blood runs dry. 

Shock runs through your body. “What happened? Did someone hurt you?” You gently  move his head from side to side, examining every inch of his skin to check for more injuries. But your eyes are frantic. Your hands run through his hair, feeling for bumps and bruises. The search comes up empty, but your throat constricts at the thought of someone hurting your husband. 

You grab the cast iron skillet, wielding it like a weapon with the force of a grip so tight that it threatens to bend beneath your fingers. Your other hand clenches his palm, stomping in the direction he came from so he could lead you towards the perpetrator. 

Whoever did this to Jeongguk is going to pay, and you’re willing to kill whoever it is. Because for him, you would wage a full on war, running straight into your demise if it meant fighting for him. You would barrel through fire, load your rifles, and draw your daggers no matter what it takes. If they ask you to rip your heart out and put it in his hands, you would have considered the deal done long ago. 

Jeongguk is quick to extinguish the fiery passion that fuels your anger, reminding you to not make any rash decisions. The flash of his doe eyes is enough to soothe your worries, and all you want to do is hold him. 

The truth is, Jeongguk had already taken care of the situation. As the story goes, he had accepted a side mission to stop the smuggling of antiques from a museum ー gifts from a billionaire tycoon who had long passed. His heirs had sent the treasures to be appraised in the city before it was quickly intercepted by a smuggling ring. 

Jeongguk managed to save original art from dynasties past (no doubt stolen), rare coins, china sets, and clusters of intricate jewelry. He stopped the ploy before the thieves had even left the warehouse. However, being the best of the best does not mean he is able to escape unscathed every time. 

Jeongguk did not account for the hidden explosives on the agenda. A shrapnel had grazed his skin, forming a deep gash above his brow bone. Had he not been more careful, he would have been in much worse shape. 

Although Jeongguk had completed his mission, barely injured, he can’t help but feel guilty for showing up late. If his wound was much more serious, or perhaps he was left for dead, he would not have made it to Yumi’s engagement party. The last thing Jeongguk wants is to keep you waiting. 

While he zipped through the streets of Seoul, he didn’t even have a chance to think of a lie. All he could think about was running to you. So he says the first thing that comes to mind. “The airbags in my car set off.” 

“You were in a crash? Was Minny with you? What are you doing here? You should go to a hospital!” The words splutter out of your mouth.

His hand cups yours as they rest on his cheeks. “Minny’s with Seokjin today, so don’t worry. The collision was really minor, I swear. I already went to the emergency room, and they said I’ll be good as new.” His voice is eerily calm. 

He laces his fingers with yours and presses his lips against your knuckles before promptly taking the iron skillet from your hands. “I don’t want you to worry, let’s just go to the party, okay?” 

You’re too concerned to even dwell on that tender moment of intimacy. “You worry me too much, you know?” 

“I know, angel. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” 

You squeeze his hand a little tighter as you shake your head. “I don’t need anything. I’m just glad that you’re here.” 

But little do you know, there’s a diamond ring worth millions burning a hole in Jeongguk’s pocket. Some dead billionaire isn’t going to miss it. 

Everyone at the event is captivated by Jeongguk. Of course they would. It’s easy when Jeongguk is so charming in such a deceitful way. He can easily spin different versions of himself after each new greeting, creating a hundred nuances to his personality in an instant. He could tell everyone that he’s the prince of Joseon, and they would easily fall for his lies because of the charisma that he oozes. 

Your friends see him as the best boyfriend in the world, someone who’s the total package and simply put, he’s way out of your league. He’s romantic in every aspect of the word, he’s open about his feelings, and he’s the purest definition of a “girl dad.” What more could you possibly ask for? Whatever it is, Jeongguk is exactly that. 

Even when Jeongguk has no need to impress the men at the party, he has dozens of conversation topics up his sleeve. It’s impressive when he knows basically everything about everything. You name it: video games, boxing, and the federal reserve. This arsenal of information is stored in his mind simply because he’ll never know when he needs to strike up a conversation about camping, barbecuing, or fishing (despite never having an interest to sit and stare at the water with Seokjin for hours on end). Men are so simple minded. They’re absolute fools. 

Thankfully, your brother, San, is just another man who falls for the thinly veiled ruse. He seems to approve of your relationship with Jeongguk. Mostly because he can talk about their passion for different cuts of meat. But also because he sees the way that your “boyfriend” takes care of you in the most subtle ways ー by virtue, it’s the act of noticing. 

Jeongguk walks you through the crowds of people with a guiding hand on your lower back. He fixes your hair when it falls loose in front of your face. He refills your cup with your favorite drink without ever having to ask. He can’t stop talking about how grateful he is to have a chance with you ー how you’re so beautiful and smart and the only thing he ever wants. There’s obviously love and intention in Jeongguk’s eyes whenever he looks at you. Anyone could see that. To be loved is to be known, and Jeongguk knows you like the back of his hand. 

You can feel the pressure of having to prove your relationship when all of the girls gather around, asking invasive questions. How did you convince y/n to go out with you? We almost lost hope for the poor girl. Have you all hung out as a family yet? What does Minji think of your relationship? 

For some reason, it feels like you’re back in high school, listening to locker room gossip. It feels as if they’re judging you. They’re laughing at you. But time and time again, Jeongguk defends you and your honor. Not because you need his help, but because you love the safety and security of his words.

“I don’t appreciate you being passive aggressive. Because to me, y/n is the most precious person in the world. If you have something you want to say, then just say it to my face.” He bites back without ever breaking eye contact. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. It’s equal parts intimidating and the most attractive thing you have ever seen. 

All the girls seem to agree when they swallow a trace of spit and nod their heads in obedience. “Sorry, we just wanted to say that you’re both so lucky to find one another.” They drop the subject, but only for a little while. 

Throughout the party, Jeongguk holds you close because he knows how nervous you were to come, and rightfully so. You told him how scared you were to introduce him to all of your friends (he doesn’t see why they deserve that title when they’re nothing but mean girls). Nevertheless, you’re frightened because your relationship with Jeongguk is sacred. Untainted. Unconventional, yes. But it’s protected because only you know about the depths of your bond. After tonight, everything will change. Having your “friends” witness your love so openly feels as if you have to give up another piece of yourself. After making this public knowledge, nothing could ever fully be yours.

But this moment right here is yours to keep, yours to hold, and yours to cherish. Jeon Jeongguk is in your arms, and all you can do is make it known that you are in love. 

“Whatever they say, ignore them, okay? Just look at me.” His arm wraps around your waist, and you relax in his hold. The stars in his eyes keep you captivated, and everything else is long forgotten. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear, scared that if he were to go up one decibel, it would burst the little bubble that you’ve created for yourselves. Perhaps you would disappear if he says your name any louder, and he would wake up to realize that his dream girl is nothing but a figment of his imagination. 

But there’s nothing about this relationship that’s fake. Your brother can see it all. Although you haven’t hung out with him in ages, he’s very intrigued with the man hanging off of your arm. “Jeongguk, when did you realize that y/n was the one?” 

“Stop, we just started dating.” You smack the back of San’s head. But Jeongguk isn’t one to shy away from the question. 

“Well, it’s a funny story. The first time I saw her, I thought I had to talk to her. A few months ago, I dropped my daughter off at the daycare. When I walked past the door, I tripped on my own two feet. I saw y/n reading a story at the front of the class. She was so elegant, graceful, and just so, so gorgeous. My first thought was that she is the most incredible person I’ve ever seen.” Jeongguk tells the story without ever taking his eyes off of you. It’s as if you’re the only person in the whole world. There’s a beaming smile stretched across his face. His dimples are carved into his cheeks. 

“Minji, my daughter, she has a tendency to cry when I’m not there. So when she bursted into tears, y/n asked if she wanted to sit with her and help her read. She put my daughter on her lap, and instantly, Minny stopped crying.

“For weeks, I tried to work up the courage to approach her. I visited as much as I could. I borrowed more materials than I could even finish, and eventually, I had a pile of overdue books sitting in my apartment. When y/n wasn’t busy with the daycare, she worked at the front desk. I thought she might say something about my outstanding charges, but she never did. At that point, I wanted to talk to her so bad, but I was so foolish. I started bringing cups of coffee into the library, thinking that she would yell at me for breaking the rules.” 

“Did it work? Why didn’t you just say something?” San wonders. 

“I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t think she was interested. She barely looked at me. Never tried to initiate small talk,” Jeongguk shrugs. 

Avoiding eye contact is exactly how you show interest in someone. Is there any other way to do it? You had been so nervous to even glance in his general direction! Men don’t ever give you affection, especially not men as gorgeous as Jeongguk. It just felt so wrong to even think about crushing on him. 

“But one day, y/n approached me first by some miracle, and I was so shocked. I- I just thought she was an angel. My daughter was at her side. We talked. One thing led to another. The next thing I knew, I was stressing about what outfit to wear and buying flowers so I could pick her up for a coffee date. I don’t even know how to explain it. Everything just fell into place.” 

You were convinced that Jeongguk had never noticed you before you approached him that fateful day in the non-fiction aisle. But it rings true that Minji had cried some months ago during reading time. You recall all of the details, albeit vaguely. Had Jeongguk been watching all this time? Did he really borrow an excessive amount of books and purposely buy illicit coffee just to get your attention? 

There’s a soft smile that plays on your lips, and Jeongguk is certain that you’re a real life angel. “I hope you know that I waived your overdue fees every single time,” you confess. 

…

At some point in the night, you and Jeongguk ended up separating in the most nightmarish of ways. Your coworkers had looped their arms around yours and pulled you away for some girl talk. 

Meanwhile Jeongguk is at the other end of the hall, playing billiards with all of the other men. He socializes with them as if it’s effortless. He tells them jokes and makes them chuckle, but of course, his laugh is the one that stands out to you the most. He’s enchanting, and you are all but a moth drawn to a flame. He lights up every room he walks into, shining brighter than anything you’ve ever seen.

As you watch Jeongguk have his own fun, you check out of the conversation, barely listening to what Yumi has to say. You couldn’t quite relate to the stories that they’ve shared about their partners ー being engaged, moving in together, trying for children, having sex. 

“y/n, how big is your boyfriend?” 

You ponder the question. “Uhm, I don’t know his weight exactly…” 

“No, no, sweetie, I mean how big is his dick?” 

Your eyes widen in surprise as you shake your head. “We haven’t actually done anything yet. Our relationship is new, y’know. Also, I don’t think that’s any of your business-” 

“You mean you haven’t even seen him naked? Surely you’ve touched him when you’ve made out, right?” Their eyes widen when you shake your head no, trying to sputter a retort. 

“Even if you’re taking it slow, you must know what he likes in bed, right? Spitting? Choking? Spanking? A little bit of roleplay? Does he like to be called daddy?”

You, yourself, nearly choke on your own drink. 

“Most couples get intimate because- I hate to break it to you-” Yumi leans closer to you until her voice is all but a whisper. “All men have needs. If they aren’t met, then he might break up with you and look for satisfaction elsewhere.” 

You don’t know why you would believe Yumi’s words despite Jeongguk’s constant reassurance of how much you mean to him. She’s so fucking infuriating, but could she be right? Does Jeongguk see other women when you’re not around? Does he ever tell you that you’re pretty just for the performance of being a married couple? Has everything he said in the past few weeks been an act? Surely, you don’t know everything about this man, but would he ever lie to you? You bite the inside of your cheek as you anxiously pick on the skin around your nails, thinking about her advice. 

Seemingly, Jeongguk doesn’t know what the conversation is about. But he doesn’t need to be familiar with the details to know that you’re growing anxious. He can see it from the way you fiddle with your hands. From the way you furrow your brows and chew on your lips. From down the hall, he can pick up on your breathing. He can practically hear the hurricane of thoughts swirling around your head.

Before you can drown in your thoughts, Jeongguk makes his way over to you, nursing a glass of champagne in his hand. “Hi, angel.” He whispers against your jaw. His cheeks are flushed pink as his head rests against the crook of your neck, slotting together like two pieces of a puzzle. “Do you want to get out of here? You can stay over at my place tonight if you want,” he offers.  

“What’s wrong? Does it hurt?” You shift your gaze to the gash on his brow. Even when you don’t feel your best, you’re still concerned for those around you. That’s just the person you are. You’re so used to giving yourself away. 

“Kind of,” he says. But it hurts more knowing that you’re not okay. 

You ruffle your hands through his hair, trying to soothe his ache. “Do you want your painkillers?”

“Just want you.” His deep voice rumbles against your collarbone as he presses a shy kiss to your shoulder. “Come on, let’s go home.” He gently grabs your hand in his and leads you out the front door. You don’t even have a chance to say goodbye to all the guests. Quite frankly, you don’t even care. 

The moment you return to Jeongguk’s apartment, you dart to the medicine cabinet, filling a glass of water and instructing him to swallow the morphine pill. To soothe the pain, you apply some ointment onto his injury and gently blow on his gash, hoping that it doesn’t leave a scar to mar his beautiful face. But you avoid eye contact with him as much as you can. All while Jeongguk stares at your pretty lips and your glittery eyes. You look so cute when you’re concerned. A pout rests on your face, and he wants nothing more than to kiss it better. 

But then you bid him goodnight, rushing into the guest room, pacing back and forth behind closed doors. 

Jeongguk sits in the living room, stunned, wondering if he’s done something wrong. Whether his breath smells, or maybe he’s come on too strong. Is it obvious how much he cares for you? Yet a part of him wants you to know, even if you don’t reciprocate. To love you so freely is enough for him. 

For you, the problem is not Jeongguk. It’s the fact that you can’t stop thinking about the conversation from earlier in the night. Yumi’s voice echoes through your thoughts. All men have needs. If they aren’t met, then he might break up with you and look for satisfaction elsewhere.

A part of you needs Jeongguk to tell you that this isn’t true. Your heart and mind may not be able to rest otherwise. So for the sake of your fake relationship, you put on a brave face and patter down the hall to his room. 

…

The soft knock on Jeongguk’s door draws his attention away from the vanity. As soon as he tells you to come in, you hesitantly enter his bedroom. 

His back is turned as he faces the mirror, heedlessly applying his skincare. “What’s up? Do you need anything?” He spins around to meet you with curiosity written on his face. 

You catch a glimpse of his exposed chest, and your cheeks heats up in recognition. The top three buttons of his shirt are undone, seeing that he’s getting ready for bed. He removes his rings and the silver watch from his wrist. 

“Sorry, I- I didn’t know you were indecent.” You turn your head away, avoiding his strong build ー the biceps that bulge beneath his shirt and the muscles that flex with every movement. Your hand shoots up to hide your face in embarrassment. 

He finds it adorable how flustered you get upon seeing a little bit of skin. Still, he makes no effort to button up his shirt. Because that’s all that it is ー just skin. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, and your eyes flicker to the floor as if the rug is the most interesting thing in the world. “Can we talk about something?” 

“Talk?” He approaches the bed, patting the spot beside him. “Come here, what do you want to talk about?” 

You perch yourself onto the mattress bouncing up and down from the weight of the springs. Jeongguk sidles closer to you. His knees knock against yours. He smells like jasmine and musk, and it’s divine. 

“At the party, the girls were talking about relationships,” you begin.  

He hums with a nod, attentive as ever. Jeongguk looks at you as if you’re the only person in the world, but you don’t seem to notice, too preoccupied with anything else but the intensity of his eyes. 

“What did they say?” He wonders, readjusting your necklace so the pendant sits pretty on your neck. 

“Y’know.” You tug on your fingers, finding something to fiddle with. “The usual stuff.”

He reaches for your hands, instantly halting your movements. Soothing your nerves, he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He knows that you must have mustered a lot of courage to come over and bring this up. “Angel, you have to use your words if you want to tell me what’s on your mind.” 

You grow bashful under his touch, but that’s exactly the problem. “They talked about stuff like this.” You squeeze his palms for emphasis. “Holding hands. Touching. Skinship.” You mumble the last part, too shy to say it out loud: “Kissing.” Turning your cheek towards him, you murmur an apology. “Sorry. You make me nervous.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t fail to notice the way your tongue licks the plump of your lips or the way your throat constricts after swallowing a trace of spit. “Nervous? C’mere- look at me.” 

His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. It’s authoritative, and you can’t help but follow his orders. 

“I’m not familiar with being this close to someone,” you motion at the lack of space between his body and yours. “I wouldn’t want you to be upset with me if I’m not very affectionate.” 

“Angel, I’d never be upset with you. We can do whatever you want at your own pace.”

“Are you sure you’d never leave me if-”

Jeongguk stops your train of thought before allowing your mind to wander to a dark place. His voice hardens upon hearing such a suggestion. “I never want to even think about that possibility because I’m not letting you go. I’m yours no matter what. You’ll actually have to fight me if you want to push me away. Even then, I’d crawl right back to you.” He truly means every single word that he utters. 

There’s a hint of a smile on your lips. “Sorry. Intimacy is really scary for me,” you confess, hesitating. Jeongguk gives you another moment to collect your thoughts. He’d give you as long as you need, even if it’s a lifetime and all the stars in the night sky have burnt out. 

“But another reason I want to talk to you is because I’m concerned this won’t come across as a real marriage if we’re physically distant, y’know? The girls said that it’s normal for couples to be… intimate.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, at least not immediately. He doesn’t react. His eyes are distracted by your mouth ー the way your gloss clings onto your lips and the way it moves so languidly with every word you articulate. 

“Jeongguk- Love?”

The sound of his name never really meant much to him. After all, it’s just an alias. Yet nothing sets him aflame more than the claim that you have on him ー the way that your lips purse when you call him your love.

“I know this sounds silly-” you begin. 

He shakes his head, brows furrowed, effectively wiping away all of your insecurities. “Never.” 

A naive grin spreads across your face. How could you be so foolish to believe that Jeongguk would make you feel anything less than important? Time and time again, he makes you feel heard. He makes you feel seen.

“Go on,” he urges. “Tell me.” 

“Well, I read an article about how looking into your partner’s eyes for a long period of time increases intimacy. It also builds trust and helps to recognize emotion.” It’s ironic how you explain all of this while avoiding his eyes. Instead, you keep them trained on the scar sitting pretty and kissable on his cheek. 

A dimpled smile spreads across Jeongguk’s face. “Okay, we can try,” he agrees. He reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and you think you might pass away. “But angel, you have to face me if we’re going to do this. I want you to be comfortable.” 

“Right, yeah,” you mumble. “Of course.” Shuffling from the edge of the bed, you turn to face your husband. You tuck your feet beneath your butt and sit on your knees.

“Relax, okay? There’s no need to be nervous around me.” His voice is reassuring. It’s heartwarming. 

You nod your head as you will yourself to meet his gaze. “I can do this. I can do this,” you think to yourself. 

Jeongguk’s pupils glimmer in the lowlight, warm and comforting, and you wonder how anyone could be so handsome. You try to focus on the task at hand, but it’s difficult when he, himself, is so distracting. There’s a beauty mark on his cheek. His jaw. His nose. Beneath his lip. You could trace them all day and night, if only he’d let you. 

Jeongguk’s deep voice cuts through the night. “Is there anything else that you want to try?” 

“M- maybe we could hold hands?” 

“We’ve held hands before.” He laces his fingers between yours so effortlessly, his hand engulfing. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. 

“Does it still make you nervous?” He wonders. 

“A little bit,” you glance at how small your hand looks in his. “But I can get used to it.” 

“Can I suggest something?” 

You nod, agreeing. “Anything.” 

He tilts his head to the side, raising a brow, unconvinced. “Anything? Are you sure?” 

You nod with more confidence. “I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.” 

“Then can I hold you?”

You hesitate for a second, unsure of what that entails. A beat goes by when Jeongguk is prepared to tell you that you’re free to say no. But you wipe that thought away, giving him your full consent.

Not a second passes by before he wraps his tattooed arms around your waist, tugging you onto his lap. Your thighs rest on either side of his hips, straddling him.

A squeak ー a fucking squeak. God, how much cuter can you get? ー slips past your lips. They’re swollen from how you nervously tug on the flesh, tethering it between your teeth. 

“Does this feel better?” There’s a sense of longing that drips from Jeongguk’s honeyed voice. 

“It’s… nice.” Your brain is on the verge of malfunctioning and shutting down upon feeling the heat of his skin against yours. “Better.” Your voice is breathy. It’s self preservation. You exhale deeply in an attempt to calm the flutter of your heart. 

To keep yourself occupied, you trace your fingers across your bare thighs, unsure of what to do with them. Jeongguk had let go of your hands in favor of holding your hips. So you play with the hem of your dress that’s currently riding up your legs. Suddenly, you’re very aware of how little you’re wearing. How your skin is burning beneath his fingertips. 

Jeongguk’s body is radiating, and you can feel the heat between your legs grow, the dampness in your underwear spreading. 

“You can touch me if you want,” he offers. 

You’re not as confident as Jeongguk, but oh, how you wish you were. 

“Do you want to?” He senses your hesitation, yet you nod your head, affirming.

“I do,” you bite the inside of your cheek. “I want to touch you- feel you.” 

Jeongguk wraps his fingers around your wrists, bringing your hands to rest on his broad shoulders. They’re muscular beneath your touch. You curse yourself for letting your mind wander and for letting your panties soak with arousal ー neither of which you can control. 

Somehow, you resist the urge to look down at his physique. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to the elbows, revealing his strong forearms, adorned by the dark tattoos that coil up his muscles. Your gaze darts across his features, struggling to focus on the starlight in his eyes. You switch between the edge of his jaw, the dip of his neck, and the plump of his lips. 

“My eyes are up here, angel.” The corner of his mouth draws into a smile ー so bright and devastatingly beautiful. He hooks a gentle hand beneath your chin, guiding you to meet his stare. “Tell me what you’re thinking about. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” 

Your voice is soft, just barely above a whisper. It’s nearly inaudible. “Thinking about what it would be like to kiss you.” 

The innocence of your words makes Jeongguk blush. He’s never been the type to be so easily affected. After all, he’s the bold one in the relationship ー confident, decisive, dominant. But you make him weak in the knees.

“You don’t have to ask permission to kiss me.” Jeongguk inches closer, considerate hands squeezing around your waist. “You’re my wife.” 

Why does the thought of belonging to Jeongguk make your heart stutter? You’re certain that this is nothing but pretend, yet the only thing that makes you believe this could be real is the soothing circles that Jeongguk draws onto your skin. He’s present. He’s willing. His lips are right there, right in front of you. You could take the leap of faith and close the distance, leaning forward to kiss him. 

So you do. 

When your lips meet, it’s as if the rest of the world has gone silent. Time has stopped, and nothing else matters but the two of you at this moment. 

His lips are pillowy soft against yours. He tastes like champagne and mint. He’s gentle, only applying as much pressure as you do. You melt into his touch, feeling featherlight in his hold. His hands grip your waist so delicately, with love and intention, as if you are the most precious thing in his eyes. 

You pull apart to catch your breath, allowing the air to fill your lungs, regretfully so. If you were to drown, you would want to drown in Jeon Jeongguk. Your eyes flutter open, but you can’t seem to look at anything but his cherry lips. 

“Love…” The term of endearment leaves your lips in a pant, and he grows harder beneath you. “This is going to sound so embarrassing…” Your voice trails off as the heat engulfs your entire body. Your head lowers, feeling self-conscious of your actions. 

Jeongguk nuzzles his nose against your neck as he presses tender kisses on your collarbone. “What is it? You can tell me anything.” 

Your fingernails dig into his strong shoulders, squeezing his taut muscles as you muster the courage to tell him the truth. “That was my first kiss.” 

He peers up at you from beneath his long eyelashes. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Jeongguk shakes his head, squeezing your waist with reassurance. 

Your eyes are half lidded as you murmur a quiet confession, “I want to kiss you again.” Normally, you wouldn’t dare to be so bold, but you feel drunk on his taste.

“You can do whatever you want to me.” Jeongguk draws you closer, dragging your core onto the apex of his thighs, thick and sturdy. “I like anything that you like. Kissing you. Holding you. Just looking at you,” he shrugs. “And if it wasn’t obvious enough… I like you.” 

Jeon Jeongguk makes you absolutely breathless. “Ar- are we still pretending?” 

“Never.” Leaning forward, he brushes his mouth against yours. “I have never once pretended with you.” 

You kiss him back with more fervor, desperate and wanting. You’re more confident now, fully knowing that Jeongguk wants this as much as you do. 

“When you said I could do whatever…” You pull back, thinking about Jeongguk’s previous statement.

He nods his head with the most innocent beam on his face. “I mean it.”

God, you feel like such a pervert. You’ve shared your first kiss with him, something so sweet and innocent. Why couldn’t that be enough for you? You’re sitting on his lap, feeling the broad planes of his chest, and you can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to do more. To feel more. 

You’re ridden with guilt, drowning in your own arousal, but Jeongguk is so kind. He’s understanding. He’s staring at you as if you’re his whole world. He would never dare to objectify you because he’s a gentleman. But… What if you want him to? 

“The girls at the party were also talking about…” Your words begin to trail. 

“About what?” You subconsciously trace circles onto his shoulders, distracting yourself from the conversation, not knowing that Jeongguk’s eyes flutter close because he adores the drag of your nails and the subtle warmth of your fingertips. 

“About… doing it.” Your words come out in a hushed whisper. It feels too inappropriate to say it out loud. Yet you don’t dare to mention how your panties are absolutely ruined. 

“Angel, what did we talk about?” His lips press against your shoulder, at any inch of skin that he can reach. “You have to be more specific.”

Jeongguk has never once made you feel ashamed or embarrassed. He has never laughed at you or told you that you’re being silly. So why is it so difficult to tell him that you want him ー Need him? 

You take the leap of faith because this is your partner ー in life, in death, and in crime. This is Jeongguk. Your one and only lover who never fails to remind you that you are the strongest woman in the world. He who delivers nutritious lunch boxes to you and tucks cute notes into the lid because he knows that they make you smile. Jeon Jeongguk who massages the knots out of your shoulders after a secret night of combat. He who gets pouty when you call him anything other than ‘love.’

There’s no need to hide anything from this man. He’s your home, just as you are his.

“They talked about sex… You know… making love. ” The crude word sounds so wrong leaving your lips. So out of place. It’s dirty, and it’s naughty. “They said all couples do it, but we’ve never…” 

“Do you want to do it because you want to, or is it because your friends told you to?” Jeongguk searches your eyes for clarification. “Because if you feel pressured when you’re not ready-”

“No! I do!” You cling onto his shirt with more urgency. “I want to do it ー with you. I trust you.” You lean closer, brushing your lips against his ear. “You’re my husband.” 

Jeongguk groans at the sound of your words. At the way your fingernails scratch down his chest. At the way you sit so pretty and perfect on top of his lap, pressing your weight into his erection. 

He gulps as if this is the first time he’s ever been nervous in his life. “Why don’t you take off my shirt?” 

“C- can I?” you stutter. 

“Like I said, you can do whatever you want to me. You’re my wife, and I’m yours.” He presses his lips against your brow. “Yours to hold. To kiss. To love.” He kisses your nose. Your chin. Your jaw. He tucks your hair behind your ears and whispers. “I’m yours to make love to.” 

With trembling fingers, you reach for the button that barely holds Jeongguk’s shirt together. 

His hand engulfs yours. “Don’t forget to breathe, in and out, okay?” Jeongguk, patient as ever, waits for your respiration to steady. “You’re safe with me. If you want to stop, just say the word.” 

With each button undone, his shirt falls apart, revealing Jeongguk’s toned abs. As glorious as he is, your eyes are drawn to the scar on the side of his stomach, barely covered by the fabric that hangs off his back. The scar is jagged, and the skin is raised, the tissue is puckered at the edges. 

“Wha- what happened here?” Your fingertips reach down to trace over the scar, but before you make contact, you pull away. 

“You can touch it-” Jeongguk reaffirms. “Wherever you want. I’m yours.” 

Jeongguk’s breath hitches in his throat when your cold hands lightly graze the rough texture, feeling the ghost of his past. But he knows how you’ll respect his boundaries no matter what, and he relaxes, fully knowing that you’ll take care of him. 

“I had surgery when I was younger.” Jeongguk lies. “They took out my appendix.” 

Your brows furrow. There’s no reason not to believe him, but why is the scar so jagged and uneven? Certain parts are wider than others as if the surgeon had twisted a large blade into his abdomen, and not simply sliced to gain access to his organs. 

As usual, Jeongguk can read the concern written on your face. “It’s okay, it didn’t hurt much.” The curve of his lips settle into a warm and reassuring smile. “I promise.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t express any discomfort about his scar, yet you can’t help but wonder what kind of horrors he had to live through. 

To ease your mind, Jeongguk pulls you into his body and presses his hands beneath your thighs. 

A yelp escapes from your lips as he lifts you up. You’re chest to chest with him, legs wrapping around his waist. He presses your back down to the mattress, settling your head onto one of the pillows at the bedpost. 

He hovers above you, a hair's breadth away. 

“Hi,” he whispers against your lips. “You look so stunning.”

You grow shy with all the attention that Jeongguk feeds you. “Hi,” you whisper back. Your legs wrap tighter around his waist. 

“Can I take this off?” Jeongguk glides a finger beneath the strap of your dress.

There’s a rush in your head, feeling dizzy upon nodding your head with so much vigor. 

His lips pair with yours in a quick kiss before calling you a good girl. He shifts his weight off of you so that he can tug you into an upright position and peel the dress off. 

Jeongguk’s eyes widen at your bare chest, having omitted a bra so as to not ruin the outfit. His throat goes dry, and he’s having trouble forming words in his head. You’ve never seen him so speechless. 

Subconsciously, you raise your arms to cover your chest. 

“No, no, no, don’t do that.” Jeongguk wraps his fingers around your wrists, pressing a smooch to your delicate skin. “You’re so pretty like this. Don’t ever hide from me, okay?” 

His words make you shiver. Having someone dote on you as much as Jeongguk is something you’re not used to. But that’s exactly why you’re here, right? So you nod your head and let him pin your hands to the mattress before leading a trail of kisses down your body.

Curious fingers speak freely against your skin, exploring every inch of you. He takes note of every gasp, giggle, and moan that escapes your lips. He presses his swollen lips to your sensitive spots until you keen louder for him, desperately begging for more. His lips wrap around your nipple, sucking on the bud until you whimper. He’s a drooling mess over your tits as he leaves a trail of saliva, marking your skin and claiming you as his. 

Jeongguk furthers his descent down your tummy, placing sweet kisses against the waistband of your panties. He reaches down to feel the leather strap around your upper thigh. It’s the holster that you use to sheathe your knife, and thank God you disarmed before stepping into Jeongguk’s bedroom. 

“I use it to hold my pepper spray,” you murmur a half-ass excuse. “Some of my clothes have shallow pockets.” 

Jeongguk smiles against your skin as he ghosts his lips against your soft thighs. He doesn’t think much of it, but he does think it’s really hot. So he doesn’t bother to unstrap as he continues to worship your body. 

What catches his attention is not the way you’ve soaked through your underwear, as arousing as it is. But rather, he’s intrigued by the faint mark on the outside of your thigh. It’s not a regular, old scar. To Jeongguk, it’s oddly familiar because it’s what appears to be an old bullet wound. 

Jeongguk stutters in disbelief, eyes wide. “What’s this? W- were you sho-” He tries to mentally collect himself as he settles on a choice of words. “Were you hurt? Who hurt you?”

You look down, noticing the circular scar on your outer thigh before shaking it off. “It’s nothing. It was from an injection.” 

“Are you sure? It looks li- It looked serious.” His voice trembles with concern, hands fisting at his sides. 

You pull him up by the collar of his undone shirt, hanging off his broad shoulders. Your lips meet his in a delicate, comforting kiss. Jeongguk visibly relaxes in your hold.  

“I’m fine, really. I just want you.” You claw his shoulders in an attempt to peel the rest of the fabric off. 

Jeongguk sighs, trying to forget about what he had seen. But he’s certain that his mind will wander back to the scar at another point in time. He strips the shirt off his back, carelessly tossing the fabric onto the floor. 

Jeon Jeongguk is mesmerizing. You’ve never seen the entirety of his sleeve, but there it is, in all its glory. There’s a faint beauty mark on his chest, one that you did not account for when tracing all of the scars and marks on his upper body. 

“Tell me you want me,” his breath is hot and heavy against yours. 

Subconsciously, you clench at the sound of his words. “Guk- I want you more than anything.” Your hands float down to the buckle of his jeans as you unclasp the button. “You’re wearing too much. Take it off.” The plea that falls from your lips is breathy and desperate. 

“Fuck-” Jeongguk curses, trying to restrain himself.

Jeongguk has slept with plenty of women before, but never like this. He’s always had one night stands with an ulterior motive, whether it is for leverage or intel or for the sole purpose of converting an innocent woman into a whistleblower. He’s fucked with media journalists, cabinet members, and even the wives of politicians. He isn’t proud of it, but women, just like everyone else, are more likely to say things they don’t mean when their desires are fulfilled. They’re willing to trust him and spill their secrets when they’re lost in the throes of pleasure ー when he hands over his lust and his attention. It’s transactional. 

Jeongguk has always thought that love is cheap. But not with you. 

With you, Jeongguk has the innate need to take his time. He wants to show you what it means to make love. 

He hooks his hand beneath your panties, pulling them down your legs. There’s a string of arousal that breaks when he tugs the fabric off. It’s absolutely soaked in your arousal. Jeongguk’s lips press against every inch of your skin, leaving no spot untouched. 

You shudder when his hot breath meets your inner thighs, threatening to close them. He wraps his thick arms around your legs, digging his fingers into your hips, pinning you to the mattress. 

He keeps his eyes trained on your face as you tremble beneath his touch. He kitten licks your clit, careful as to not overwhelm you. But you quickly melt into the pillows, gripping his hair between your fingers.

Jeongguk wants to commit this to memory. The way that you look so angelic in this light. 

Quiet whimpers escape from your parted lips. “You don’t have to hold back,” he reminds you. “Be as loud as you want. Nobody’s home. We have all the time in the world, and I want you to feel good.” 

He wraps his lips around your clit, sucking softly on the bundle of nerves until you’re writhing against his mouth. Soon enough, you grind your hips, practically riding his face like a needy slut, desperate and wanting. 

The moans slip out of your mouth freely, and Jeongguk grows harder at how pretty you are, lost in pleasure. He begins to rut his hips against the mattress, seeking some kind of relief for his aching cock. 

His tongue slips between your walls, licking up the arousal that seeps down your thighs. His chin is coated in your wetness, and he’s utterly obsessed with your taste. 

Your nails dig into his hair, pulling on the roots. He elicits a moan against your core, and you’re muttering apologies, “sorry, ‘m sorry.” Yet you continue to grind your cunt against his tongue, proving that you’re not sorry at all.  

Your grip loosens, but Jeongguk whines at the loss of tension. “Feels good, angel, don’t stop.” 

He quickly grabs your hands and places them on the top of his head, encouraging you to tug as hard as you want. He’s obsessed with your taste, but he’s also addicted to the pain that you inflict on him. 

He dips his tongue between your walls, reaching as far as he can go. He smiles against your core as if he’s the one enjoying himself ー and truly, he is. He can’t get enough of you. Jeongguk loves to bury his face into your sweet pussy, making out with your cunt. His chin is doused in your essence, and he wants more. He needs to see you dripping in cum so he can taste you straight from the source. 

“Guk, it feels weird,” you choke on your words, pressing your hands against your tummy. The tears cascade down your cheeks as your high builds in the pit of your stomach.

“Shh, shh, angel,” he hushes before dropping a thick glob of spit onto your entrance. He can’t believe that you’ve never come in your life. Have you never played with your cute little cunt before? 

Jeongguk laps your clit while he works a finger into you, gliding between your tight walls. He pushes another one in, watching you stretch around his digits. In the back of his mind, he wonders how you’ll be able to take his cock when you can hardly take his fingers. He curls them inside of you, slowly adding a third. 

You will yourself to pick your head up, allowing your gaze to meet his. The sight before you is filthy beyond belief. You can’t believe that Jeongguk is making out with your naughty pussy, and you love it. His fingers are gliding inside of you, reaching places you’ve never reached before. He’s humping the mattress, trying to satiate his throbbing cock that’s leaking through his boxers. 

“Guk- love, I-”

“Just let go. Come for me,” his husky voice vibrates against your cunt. 

At the sound of his command, you unravel on his tongue, shuddering beneath his strong hold. Your cunt pulses as waves of pleasure rip through you. Soft moans flow through your parted lips, and it’s suddenly Jeongguk’s new favorite melody. 

He watches you fall apart with hearts in his eyes. His hands wrap around your thighs, holding you in place as he fucks you through your climax. You’ve never felt a sensation this strong before. It doesn’t even compare when you’re high on adrenaline. 

Yet Jeongguk laps your pussy as if he’s a puppy, so eager to please you as he collects all of your cum on his tongue. He wants you as much as you’ll allow. Before the overstimulation sets in, you have to weakly tap his shoulder, pushing him away as your thighs close around his head. 

He presses a smooch to your clit before finally pulling back. “How did that feel?” 

“Never felt anything like that before,” you gasp, trying to catch your breath. “C- can you show me how to touch you too?” The innocent look in your eyes drives him absolutely mad. “Wanna make you feel good.” You palm him through his boxers, and he groans at your touch. 

Fuck. “Tonight’s about you, angel.” Jeongguk curses at himself because you look so pretty batting your eyelashes at him. You’re practically begging to suck him off, and he can’t bring himself to say yes. Your hands dip beneath his underwear, gliding your hands up and down his throbbing cock. 

Jeongguk thinks that he might be in heaven. “Aren’t you too tired? I’ve already made you come once.” 

But you shake your head, “I want more, please? I can take it. Will you please give it to me?”

“I- I don’t have a condom,” he confesses. 

“Don’t care, I need you.” Your hands roam across the planes of his chest before settling on the back of his neck. You pull him closer until your lips brush against his. “Need you so bad…” You subconsciously roll your hips, grinding your bare cunt against his thigh, pleading ー begging for him to sink his cock inside of you to relieve the ache. “It hurts,” you murmur. 

What else is Jeongguk supposed to do when his baby is aching, begging and pleading for his help? So he pulls his cock out of his boxers, tossing the offensive material out of the way. Your mouth waters as your eyes meet his length. 

“It’s not gonna fit,” you shake your head. Surely, he could split you open with his sheer girth. “You’re too big.”

Jeongguk wraps his hand around his length, jerking himself off before pressing the length of his thick cock onto your stomach, measuring how deep he could possibly go. The pretty tip rests against your belly button. Jeon Jeongguk could actually break you, and you would let him. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop-” 

You shake your head with desperate vigor, and your imploring hands reach for his broad shoulders. “Just- just go slow, okay?”

Jeongguk pairs his lips with yours in a sweet kiss, “I’ll take care of you. I promise.” He releases a thick glob of spit onto your cunt before rubbing the tip of his cock against your core, spreading the sloppy mess across your mound. He drags his tip against your lips before slowly pushing into your soaked cunt. 

You gasp upon feeling the intrusion, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Jeongguk nibbles the column of your neck, whispering quiet praises against your skin to distract you from the discomfort. He looks down to see barely half of his length tucked inside of you, yet your walls are stretched to accommodate him. At the pit of your stomach, there’s a bulge where the tip of his cock prods against your cunt. It protrudes against your tummy, leaving an indentation. He can quite literally watch his dick plow into you.

“Angel, look at how well you take me,” he groans. 

You will yourself to open your eyes, seeing how he stuffs you to the brim. The visual is so filthy. 

“God, I’ve been dreaming of this.” Jeongguk drops another glob of spit where his length meets your cunt, allowing the glide to be more effortless. The way that your pretty pussy struggles to make room for him is the hottest thing he’s ever seen. His eyes roll back as he squeezes your waist, trying to regain an ounce of composure. 

“You’ve been thinking about this? About us?” You clench upon hearing his deepest desires. 

He curses under his breath, not knowing how much longer he’d last if you’re already this tight wrapped around his cock. “You have no idea-” When he rests his head against your shoulder, panting, another inch sinks inside of you. “Sorry, ‘m sorry. You just feel so fucking good.” 

His rough hands wander across your body, mapping every inch of your skin, committing it to memory. Jeongguk taps his fingers against your lips as he requests you to ‘open up.’ As obedient as you are, you part your lips, allowing him to slip his digits inside.

“Suck on my fingers,” he coos as he pushes himself further into your sweet pussy. “That’s my good girl.” He pulls his calloused fingers out of your mouth, and they find home onto your clit as he rubs figure eights onto your bundle of nerves. It serves as a distraction from the slight sting of resistance where his cock stretches your walls. 

But for Jeongguk, this feels like heaven. He resists the urge to sheathe himself into your virgin cunt, down to the hilt. “Can’t believe that I get to see you like this.” 

Jeongguk seriously can’t believe how fortunate he is that he’s your first. Nobody has ever touched you the way that Jeongguk does. Nobody will ever fuck you or make you come the way that he will. And certainly, nobody will ever get to see you act like a desperate little slut. You belong to Jeongguk just as he belongs to you. And this is the privilege he gets when you’re his wife. 

You watch his face twist in concentration as he works himself into you. His biceps bulge, and his skin dimples beneath the pressure of your fingers when you squeeze his arm. They feel so rock solid beneath your touch. So strong and so, so reliable like the Jeongguk you know and love. You whimper simply because he’s hot, and you could never resist him. 

“S- something wrong?” He stills his hips inside of you, and his cock pulses. 

“N- no,” you whine, shaking your head. “Just wanna hold your hand.” You scratch down his biceps as you paw at his chest. Even when he’s buried inside of you, it’s still not enough. You need him, and you need all of him. 

He grabs both of your hands, softly squeezing them as he pins them on either side of your head. Jeongguk cages you against the mattress as he presses his body weight against yours, plunging his cock deeper and deeper between your walls, inch by inch. 

Your chest heaves when his hips press against yours, completely buried inside of you, and a silent cry slips past your lips. Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes. 

“Just breathe for me, angel, okay? Relax, ease up for me. I know it’s uncomfortable now, but you’ll feel so good, I swear.”

You nod your head, and you can’t help but cry. You just feel so full. Two twin tears trail down your cheeks, and Jeongguk is quick to kiss them away.

He soothes his thumb over the back of your hand as he praises you. “You’re doing so well for me. Such a good girl. You can take it, right? You can take it all for me.” 

You nod your head, letting the tears fall down like summer rain. “I can take it, I swear-” You sound so choked up, and it’s probably due to the fact that Jeongguk is so fucking deep, you can practically feel him in your throat. 

“Move, please, I need you so bad.” The broken sob rips out of your throat as you cry in desperation.

He pulls out with a shallow thrust, wanting to be as close to you as possible. Looking down, he can see where his cock fucks into you, where there’s a bulge that shadows every single one of his thrusts. He takes your hand down to rub over the protrusion. 

“Can you feel me? Right here?” He quickly slides out of you before pressing his hips flush against yours in one swift motion. 

A deep groan rumbles through his chest, sending a deep vibration through your body. His breath is hot against your lips, and you can actually feel him in your tummy. You can feel him everywhere. 

“How’s it, angel?” 

“Feels full-” you manage to choke the words out of your mouth. 

“Too much?” Jeongguk asks. His breath is shaky as he plows his hips against yours. His cock twitches inside of you, and he really doesn’t want to pull out. But if you had asked, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so. 

Thank God for your insatiability because you shake your head as you bring your intertwined hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his skin. “Feels good- keep going, please,” you beg. 

“See? I knew you could take it like a good girl.” 

Soon enough, the discomfort subsides, and all you can feel is pleasure in the pit of your stomach. Jeongguk fucks into you until he bottoms out, prodding at the spot that has you seeing stars. Your eyes begin to cross, obsessed with the way he fills you up, turning you into a stuttering mess. 

“Oh my god, feels s’ good, Guk- Don’t stop,” you cry, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist to keep him close. 

Your mouth falls open and drool begins to slip from the corner of your lips. Jeongguk wedges his tongue into your mouth, swirling your spit and saliva together into one hungry mess. 

He shifts his attention to your sensitive neck as he sucks on the column of your throat. A mark begins to bloom above your collarbone. If anyone were to doubt your marriage and the fact that you belonged to Jeongguk, there would be no reason to do so now. 

The only thing you can focus on is the way that Jeongguk pokes your cervix, and you want nothing more but for him to flood your womb. Your heavy lidded eyes fall shut, your head lolls, and your cheek rests against the pillow. 

But Jeongguk refuses to let you look away. His hand hooks around your jaw, and his fingers dig into your cheek. “Look at me,” he demands. “Want to see you when you come.” He lifts your face off the pillow and presses his lips against yours. 

Jeongguk gives deep and pointed thrusts into your cunt. He grips your hands so tightly, but you welcome the embrace. His hips snap against yours, rutting into your battered hole as you desperately chase your high. 

“‘m sorry, princess, am I too rough?” He mouths against your lips. “Just f- feels so good around me. So tight n’ warm. You’re s’ perfect.” 

You shake your head in desperation. “N- no, I love it-” You love him. “I’m close,” you cry, overwhelmed with emotions. 

“Come for me, angel,” he groans into your ear, pressing kisses against your nose, your cheek, your lips. He squeezes your hands, never letting you go. 

He pounds into you once, twice, three-four times, bullying his cock into you, and you come undone with the rough snap of his hips. You tremble in his arms, feeling this orgasm tenfold compared to the last. Cum begins to seep out of your cunt, drenching Jeongguk’s cock until there’s a ring of cream at the base of his length. 

You tight little cunt clenches around him as if you never want him to leave. He finds it hard to breathe when you look so beautiful, so pretty, and just so cute caged beneath him. As much as he wants to come inside of you and stuff you full, Jeongguk is quick to pull out when he feels his climax approach. He glides his cock against your cunt, rutting against your lips. He paints your stomach with ribbons of white cum, groaning at the lewdness of it all. 

Thoughts of Jeongguk breeding your cunt flashes through your mind ー having him flood you with cum round after round until you can have a happy little family of four. 

Obscene images of you doing this again and again in different positions send your mind racing. You want him to bury himself to the hilt with your knees pinned against your chest. If only he could flood your womb as he holds you by the back of your thighs in a mating press. Maybe you can come when you’re on all fours, on your hands and knees. Or you could take him down your throat as deep as you can go, choking and gagging on his length with saliva dribbling out of your lips. Although you’re certain that you could barely take half of him considering his size and your inexperience. But Jeongguk can teach you, and you can practice night after night until he absolutely ruins you. 

“So much cum,” you murmur, admiring the liquid that rests on your tummy. You swipe your fingers across your stomach before sticking them in your mouth. Jeongguk’s cock twitches at the sight of you so desperate for a taste. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “How was it?” 

“Can we do it again?” Your eyes glimmer with wishful thinking. It’s safe to say that you had the best night of your life. 

Jeongguk sputters a laugh, shaking his head. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

He carries you to the bathroom, making sure you use the toilet to prevent UTIs. Meanwhile, he runs a bath for you where he lathers lavender shampoo in your hair and rubs the knots from your sore shoulders, down to your hips and legs. Between soft giggles and splashes of water, you share sweet kisses and loving stares. Before your fingers can prune, Jeongguk lifts you out of the tub and dries you off with a warm towel. 

The two of you tangle beneath the sheets. But before you fall asleep to the sound of one another’s heartbeat, you ask Jeongguk the question that’s been on your mind. 

“I was just wondering… Do you like to be called daddy?” 

His lips meet your forehead before tucking you closer to his chest. “Go to sleep, angel. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” 

Jeongguk, in fact, does like to be called daddy among a plethora of other vulgar words. This vital piece of information is not necessary for the Hwa Yang interview, but you tuck that specific fact into the recesses of your brain for future reference. 

Because the truth is, you don’t have enough time to memorize Jeongguk’s life story. You can save that for another day. The Hwa Yang interview is in less than a week, and you have to save all of your brain space for relevant ー appropriate information. Such as the values of your family and the importance of education in your lives. 

Thankfully, as Jeongguk’s informant, Seokjin managed to snag sample questions that the interviewers are likely to ask: What type of person do you want your child to grow up to be? What is your child’s school experience like thus far? What are some habits you practice to help your child acclimate to the academic rigor of this school? 

So Jeongguk, Minji, and you work tirelessly to come up with the perfect answers that give the impression that you are a family exuding elegance. In the eyes of the admissions director, it basically means that you have to rival the royal family. 

Minji should have interests beyond her plushies and her manhwas, something along the lines of tennis, horseback riding, or crossword puzzles. She has to continue with her studies ー global history, foreign affairs, music theory, and yes, even her sworn enemy, mathematics. At the mere age of five, she should obtain fluency in a second language (which is apparently really impressive if you’re the royal heir to the British empire). 

All of this preparation proves to be handy because at the academy, the board of interviewers ask about Minji’s interests and her hobbies. They want to know what type of learner she is and how she can contribute to the fast paced learning environment. 

Although Minji is exceptional as she is, you can’t help but wonder why a child has to be a prodigy to be deemed as someone worthy of a good education. What’s wrong with simply existing? What’s wrong with being average? Because if the price of being average is being a decent human being, you would rather take your chances at a different school. 

The sound of the headmaster’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. “I want to ask Minji what a typical day in the household looks like.”

She straightens her posture upon hearing her name. “I start the day when eomma wakes me up and helps me get ready for kindergarten. She double checks to make sure my homework and my school supplies are in my bag. She also packs extra clothes for me just in case. Appa makes breakfast in the kitchen, and when we finish eating, they walk me to school-” 

The headmaster crinkles his brows. A look of confusion crosses his features. “Does your father always cook for the family?” 

“Yes, appa usually cooks because eomma works really hard. Sometimes, she comes home with aches and pains because of all the energy she uses.” Minji shifts her gaze to her father, trying to gauge whether her answer is acceptable. Meanwhile, your eyes are filled with concern, worried she’ll somehow expose your criminal history. “But eomma always helps when she can. She goes to the market, and she does the laundry. She also makes tea for appa and hot chocolate for me. She helps me with my homework even if I don’t like fractions.” Minji says the last part in a hushed whisper. 

“Really? Is your mother someone you aspire to be? Despite your father being the one to prepare your meals? It’s rather untraditional.” 

“I don’t believe that question is pertinent to the interview. It’s quite leading,” Jeongguk states. His voice doesn’t falter, but there’s animosity in every breath that he takes. “I can assure you that my wife is a wonderful mother and role model to our daughter. Now may we please refocus our attention on Minji and her academics?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, and he is seething. He balls his hands into fists, resisting the urge to throw a right hook at the man across the table. 

Instinctually, your fingers inch across the settee, reaching for Jeongguk’s hand in order to soothe his nerves. His shoulders relax upon feeling the heat of your skin as if to quietly remind him that everything is okay. 

“Of course, I apologize.” The headmaster says diplomatically before jotting down a few words into his notebook. He raises his nose in the air as if he’s on some high horse.

The interview persists until the end of the hour, and Jeongguk remains at the edge of his seat. He holds his hand in yours to keep his composure intact. Thankfully, the dean of admissions and the executive advisor have more tasteful questions to ask. 

However, it doesn’t last long. The headmaster intercepts once again. “Mrs. Jeon, I noticed that your documents indicate you are Minji’s stepmother, correct? Do you ever feel some kind of disconnect considering that you are not her biological mother?” 

You’re taken aback by this impromptu question. You didn’t prepare an answer for this, although your natural response would be to wrap your hands around this man’s bare neck, wringing it dry. Yet you remain composed for the sake of Jeongguk and Minji. You can feel Jeongguk hold your hand tighter in his. But you pat his wrist, serving as both a warning and a comforting acknowledgement. 

“I love Minji as a daughter, just as any other mother. To me, it doesn’t matter if she’s not my blood relative. We’ve grown really close ever since we’ve met. I admit that I have never been a mom myself, and I’m faced with a new learning curve every single day. But isn’t that what motherhood is? It’s nothing I’m not used to. Growing up, I raised my younger brother. At work, I take care of children from all different backgrounds. Surely, I make mistakes, but I think every parent leaves a mark on their child no matter what they do. Sometimes it’s a stain. Other times it’s a break, a bend, or a crack. Other parents can splinter their kids, but I hope that I never get to that point. I’m not perfect, but I’m constantly trying to be better. I love Minji more than anything.” 

“So you never feel any sense of inadequacy or resentment?” The headmaster has the audacity to question your parenting skills. 

Jeongguk cannot stand to hear the headmaster criticize you anymore. In a blink of an eye, he slams his fist against the coffee table. The wood splits in half beneath the brute force of his hand, and you’re quite impressed by the display of action. 

“This is wildly inappropriate for an interview. This entire time, you’ve done nothing but berate my wife because we do not have a conventional family. We’re not wealthy people. We work hard for what we do. We take care of one another in a way that only we know and understand. If you can’t accept that, then maybe this is not the school that we want our child to be enrolled in.” Jeongguk’s chest heaves as he says his peace. 

He doesn’t even take another moment to listen to the headmaster. There’s nothing he could say that could warrant forgiveness. So Jeongguk picks up his daughter, and he grabs your hand before storming out of the interview room. 

Jeongguk is going to have a difficult time explaining to his boss why he’s failed his mission.

“I’m sorry I messed up Minji’s chance of going to Hwa Yang.” You tug at the sleeves of your dress as you stare at the floor.

Back at Jeongguk’s apartment, you sink into the couch, allowing the weight of the situation to finally settle. 

Jeongguk rests his hand on your shoulders, turning you so that you can meet his gaze. “You didn’t mess up anything.” His eyes are filled with warmth, but you feel as if you don’t deserve it. 

“We worked so hard for this, and it was all for nothing.” 

There’s still residual rage that flows through his veins. “Nothing? Don’t say that. Don’t you know that I lo-” 

Your heart lurches out of your chest as you stare at him in awe. He loves you? 

Jeongguk’s hands shift to hold your cheeks, running his calloused thumb against the edge of your jaw. He sighs, trying to collect his thoughts. “We have each other, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day, okay? We couldn’t anticipate that they’d be so cruel. I would defend you over anything in this world. So don’t you dare say that this was all for nothing.”

He pulls you into a tight hug, tucking your head beneath his chin. You can hear the sound of his heart beat, beating only for you. It’s distracting enough for you to miss his whispered declaration: “I’m seriously gonna marry you someday.” 

Minji climbs onto the couch, wedging herself between her parents. “If I don’t get accepted, I don’t have to go to school, right?” 

The two of you peel away from the embrace, glaring at Minji, shaking your heads. “No, you have to go,” you simultaneously declare with stern conviction. 

Minji huffs a sigh, looking downcast. But when her stomach grumbles, you effectively put an end to your pity party. You and Jeongguk drop everything, scurrying into the kitchen to prepare dinner for your precious daughter. She worked hard, and she did her very best. You all did. 

…

Tucked away into the busy streets of Seoul, there’s a tiny little apartment on the second story filled with music and laughter. 

While the water boils for the buckwheat noodles, Jeongguk watches over his precious family, reading the instructions for the sauce. All you need is a mixture of perilla oil, cham sauce, buldak sauce, buldak mayo, egg yolk, and a generous amount of furikake. But when you and Minji measure out everything to perfection, you cheer for one another as if you’ve made a meal worthy of praise from the world renown Gordon Ramsey. 

When the noodles are ready, you all gather around the table and laugh to your heart's content. You fill your stomachs with starch, a heavy amount of spice, and plenty of love. You dote on one another, too distracted with the loving family you’ve created to notice anything outside of your little bubble. 

This moment is yours, and yours alone. This is your happy place, and nobody can take it away from you. Not even the sound of the answering machine, echoing from the quaint living room.

“Due to your family’s impressive display of integrity at the institution’s interview, I would like to extend an offer to enroll Jeon Minji into the prestigious Hwa Yang Academy. Congratulations, and we hope to hear from you soon.” 

[jj-one]

SALTY & SWEET 🥣

pairing: established relationship, nerdy bf!dom!Jungkook x gf!reader, jk is around 21/22 in this genre/tags: smut, (some) fluff, angst, degradation, praise kink, oral (m receiving), facef*cking, food play, c*m play, c*m eating, use of word daddy (once) words: 981

**old repost from my deleted blog

Oh you sad, sad little thing… always finding yourself in these compromising situations. The whole morning went as normal with Jungkook, he was super nice to you and smothered you with lots of loving kisses! But once he arrived back home from classes his entire mood shifted completely.

“Get on your knees, wanna use that pretty little mouth of yours right now.” Jungkook was hovering over you as you sat down.

You were just minding your business on the couch eating a bowl of strawberries when he said that to you.

“W-what?” Your eyes bug out of your head like a deer in headlights.

“Did I stutter? On your knees NOW!” His voice becomes more stern.

You squirm to get up, not wanting to waste another minute incase he gets angrier. Your body feels shaky from his intimidating persona, he usually comes off as sweet and caring but when he’s mad he becomes almost sadistic.

It didn’t take long for him to end up down your throat. All 7 inches of him being taken by you. You kept choking and gagging but the more you did it the more Jungkook would just keep pushing your head back down. His fingers latching onto your hair and thrusting his hips harder to get more of his cock deeper in your throat.

“C’mon, you can take it like the little pathetic slut you are. You’re my precious little pup right?”

His words made you so fucking wet for him.

You wanted to please him in the best way you could. Bobbing your head back and forth, his spit combined with your saliva all over your face. Jungkook likes it messy though, he also loves shooting his load out on your face after a long day. You acted like nothing but a toy for him to use, just a fuckdoll he can manipulate and dump all his cum into when he’s frustrated.

His glasses were sliding down to his nose as he keeps lowering his head to get a finer view of you. Your fucked out face was so angelic to him, so divine… you looked the most beautiful when you had Jungkook’s cock buried in your mouth.

“There atta-girl… such a good little slut for me aren’t you?” The way he talks to you will be your true weakness.

You had to prove your love to him. Your devotion. You wanted his cum as a reward so you had to work hard for it and push through the pain. You try humming to loosen up your vocal cords and take him better, the vibrations sent chills up his spine and he almost lost his balance for a second. Feeling the way he throbbed and twitched on your tongue made you moan against his shaft.

“Fuck yeah… good girl my good little fucking princess…”

You kept letting him throatfuck you and the tears came rolling down now. He loved seeing you become a crying fucked out mess for him, it filled his heart with the utmost joy.

“Aww.. my darling’s getting teary eyed, can’t take all of it huh??”

Your jaw hurts so bad but you can’t stop now, you have only one goal to achieve and that was to make your boyfriend cum all over your pretty face. His cock slammed into your uvula and you made a loud gagging noise, he would just grin and keep pushing hisself in you relentlessly. He laughed at your misery, the way your knees buckled and quivered while being under him.

He wouldn’t be laughing for too much longer though, one more thrust to the back of your throat would leave him nearly unable to talk. His body felt paralyzed. Eyes were violently rolling to the back of his head as he feels his release approaching. He jerks his hips back and quickly pulls out of your mouth. He doesn’t bring his cock to your face though, instead his attention is drawn to the bowl of strawberries you were eating from earlier.

He stands in front of it on the couch and viciously strokes his cock, large white ropes of cum come trickling down onto the fresh strawberries. Once he finishes he looks back at you now with an evil grin.

“Get on all fours for me doll.” He instructs you.

You do as you’re told, getting on your hands and knees, crawling your way towards him. He takes ones of the strawberries— that are now all coated with his hot delicious cum and brings it to your lips.

“Open wide.”

You open your mouth and he plops the strawberry in, you immediately close your mouth to start chewing. The strawberry was so sweet and juicy while Jungkook’s cum was warm and salty, this might be the perfect combination you’ve ever tried.

“Taste’s good right princess?”

You nod your head and finally speak “Yes, so yummy daddy, want to eat more!”

“Then go ahead, eat more.”

You dip your face in the bowl of strawberries and eat another one. You can’t get over how good his cum tastes with the savory fruit. He pets the top of your head like you were a kitten, just grinning at the sight of you eagerly eating his cum.

“Such a naughty little girl… you really are a huge slut.” He degrades you more, wrapping his hand around your neck as he lifts you from being on all fours.

You’re back on your knees again facing him while he kept a tight grip on you. The way this man had you so down bad for him, you were willing to let him do absolutely anything to satisfy his needs. Your body couldn’t stop trembling under his touch, he had you perfectly the way he wanted.

“Still look so pretty, even after sucking off my cock..” his hold on you was only getting tighter at this point.

“So obedient for me, always.”

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

Not the original anon, not even a big Harry Potter fan even, but you realize there are like hundreds of pieces of media created by people who have said things or have views others have found offensive right? Singling out Harry Potter specifically cause of Rowling is kinda arbitrary.

I love danganronpa man and that series is sooo fucking bigoted in so many ways. The persona series has some seriously questionable stuff in it. Multiple of the anime I like are controversial.

Why do I single out JK Rowling?

It makes people more comfortable, I got complaints when I posted a harry potter poll.

I want to

JK Rowling is actively spreading harmful opinions and should ideally be punted off the earth but the best we can do is ignore her work and make fun of her

I hope that answers your question. My blog is not the epitome of good morals and I am no god who judges who is good and who is bad. I'm just a little guy running a gimmick blog

[uyuforu]

Jungkook's Briede Asteroid in Natal Chart

Briede (19029) is an asteroid discovered in 2000 by the LINEAR project. The asteroid represents the bride, the future spouse but on the feminine side. If you are interested in women, looking at Briede in Natal Chart will tell you who is your FS. You can also look at Briede Persona Chart. If you are not interested in women, but you are a women, you can also look at those to see what kind of wife you will be. Briede in the Natal Chart of JK will tell us who he will marry, what impacts in his life she will have.

Cancer Briede

-> The cutest! Cancer Briede means JK will see his FS as a very feminine woman, someone he wants to cherish, and love the most. Cancer can be important in his FS's chart. His FS is most likely going to be indeed a feminine woman, someone who may be younger than him, someone who can look younger than who she is. She can be someone who is soft, nurturing, someone people see a home in, she can be considered as a mother to others, or a shelter. She is someone very nice, caring, a true empath. Seeing other people crying can make her cry. She feels people's pain. They can be someone people want to protect, people always sense a sort of responsibility towards his FS. He def feels like he needs to protect her. He can find her very cute and adorable when they meet. Even during marriage, he will feel like he needs to protect her agains the world. He will want to nurture her. She may be younger than him, or look very young, or both! She could love her family, or just love the people she consider her family. This could also be a sign of JK seeing her as the mother of his children. There can be also a thing for her to look very innocent, or she can be too. She is just a soft soul, and JK will love to see her as a sweetheart. She could love water or live around water, or they could meet around water. She could have a water sign in her big 3 or big 6 maximum. Mostly maybe Cancer. Briede conjuncts Fama in his NC, indicating the FS is someone who will be famous when they will meet. Fame is what could make them be together. Because both are in the 7H, a contract of partnership could play a role in it, perhaps.

7H Briede

-> Having Briede in the 7H means JK may see his FS as someone very romantic, someone he finds very attractive. It means he will see her as someone he always dreamed about, someone who he considers as his true and only spouse. JK is quite romantic naturally (Libra Venus what did you expect lol), so this placement doesn't shock me at all!! This can be considered as love at first sight for his FS, because 7H Briede is literally falling in love at first sight. It is like romanticizing the person directly. He could see her as someone very harmonious, almost perfect for him, and he could also see her as very feminine. This could indicate FS being a beauty, maybe a beauty figure, or known for her beauty. She could also have a business, or signed a particular contract. She could be known for her physical attributes, or just attracts many suitors because of it. Her beauty is what will make JK fall for sure, at least at first sight. This person could also be considered as a beautiful soul, someone who is gentle, caring. Some people could idolize her and feel like she is perfect. Ethereal presence. JK will def think this way too. This person could also care a lot about what she looks like, how she dresses, how she appears. Tbh, 7H Briede is a sign of marrying at first sight. JK will just know from that moment she is the one he will marry. To me, this is also a sign of a real wedding, not just a contract, there is a real wedding happening. Sometimes when we say FS, it can mean "the person you will stay the longest with", like sometimes people don't actually marry, you know what I mean? Yet, this kind of asteroid in 7H is a huge sign for real wedding, though it is not the only sign someone will indeed get a wedding.

Briede 9°

-> The 9° is a Sagittarius degree, making it more obvious that JK will marry a foreigner. This is indeed a sign of marrying someone from another country or culture than you, sometimes it can be different religion also. His FS could have all of those, but can also be someone spiritual or mature too. She could love to travel, and could also be someone who is open-minded, someone who understands the art of learning from life. She could be smart too, and good at school. She can be a good teacher for JK too, and he could also teach her a few things. A sign of a smart spouse, not only academically, but also could be just smart and mature person, everyday like.

જ⁀➴ Juno, Groom, Briede in Signs, Houses, Degrees

Thank you for reading!

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[mtkay13]

Gonna post TWO hoboxus today because I CAN! (still desperately trying to catch up with my twitter posts LOL help I'm terrible at this)

From a meme based on art by KOTTERI, the author of Veil (among amazing other things). Find them on twitter @_K0TTERl_!

More musing below, as per usual! (Be ready it's a LONG one again)

I really hesitated with how I wanted to do this. The original had this gorgeous red poster that seemed like a perfect fit for WKX:

(@_K0TTERl_)

Either I went for the imagery of ZZS wistfully gazing upon the mysterious and eccentric WKX, which would definitely have been more aesthetic and undeniably fitting, or I went the semi-humorous route of channelling the "WKX fell for that ugly hobo and his gorgeous shoulder blades" meme-ified side of their dynamic.

Well, clearly that's where I ended up going, but I feel like explaining a bit.

For me, this picture was three-folds:

First part is the meme; it's kind of funny, kind of ridiculous, and sets the tone of what TYK starts off as; rather absurd, with its reasonable dose of dark humor, and the (at first seemingly improbable) meeting and love story between a silly dying hobo and a strange, suspicious, hedonistic gentleman. It felt thematically appropriate for TYK to twist the original image and put the obviously uglier one on the poster since TYK relies heavily on genre subversion to begin with.

Secondly, there is WKX. So, controversial opinion (/jk) but I don't think WKX was necessarily convinced or even really thought that ZZS was "a beauty" underneath his alleged mask. It was probably a mix of various feelings and teasing/provoking which lead to this joke. First, everything he expresses throughout the book and in extra 4; the fascination for this man who seemed too hide great strength and was of no known identity--who was probably more than what he seemed.

(I'm gonna push it just a little bit ((but isn't that the fun of literary interpretation)), but the "beauty under the mask" is not only physical. It could be a way to say, I think that beneath your raunchy, ridiculous attitude, beneath your gross appearance, beneath the pretense that you're a nobody, that you're a peasant, you're probably someone of great importance and great accomplishments, someone much stronger than you pretend to be--someone like me, perhaps, even. The shoulder blades references are, besides of course WKX *actually* noticing them, the observation of how ZZS moves, of how agile his body is, etc...)

Anyway-- the entire point of this intro is to say that to me, this isn't actually referring to that whole side of their dynamic (or not entirely), but rather to that passage that I am STILL OBSESSED WITH where Wen Kexing recognizes ZZS just from the way he's sitting in a restaurant, and that makes him feel things not entirely positive:

Zhou Zishu stepped into an inn alone. He chose a seat by a window, ordered a few side dishes and a jug of mulled rice wine, and drank it slowly while soaking in the sunshine. As soon as Wen Kexing walked in, he saw Zhou Zishu from behind. He didn’t know why, but he thought that this view was quite special—he could always pick it out of a crowd. Zhou Zishu did not sit with his back straight. Most of the time, he lounged indolently at an angle that looked exceptionally comfortable. Wen Kexing thought that it seemed as though nothing weighed on him; seeing him was enough to ease the heart. Wen Kexing unconsciously halted his steps. He stared at Zhou Zishu’s relaxed silhouette for a while, with no trace of an expression in his face or eyes. His heart swelled with some strange feeling—strange, in that it was no feeling at all. He felt as though this man was mocking him with this wordless posture; he who rushed around for one thing or another, who was burdened with so many cares, yet obstinately put on a devil-may-care persona. Zhou Xu—as carefree as duckweed, he thought, with a body like willow catkins. In all the world, with its boundless perspectives, where could you find someone who walked their path alone and never allowed anything to trouble them? Yet he was not apathetic—he had his joy, his anger, his sorrow—and they came in a flash as quickly as they went. Within the blink of an eye, he had forgotten it already.

(Tian Ya Ke, chapter 18, TL by Lianzi) (have I quoted this already??? If not I should have I love this passage so much)

AND THEN QUOTING ANOTHER PASSAGE (LOL), TL by me this time:

From the moment he'd noticed his shoulderblades, felt this rush of excitement, to when he'd started liking who Zhou Zishu was, when he'd thought——so this is the Commander of Tian Chuang. Suddenly, he'd felt as if he'd met his other self. Both of them, lone wolves caught in a hunter's trap, struggling for freedom to no avail, until they had resolved to coldly gnawing off their own legs in the end. He'd felt compelled to follow him around, watched him, until he suddenly realised—if Zhou Zishu could live like this, then surely, so could he?

(Full passage in this other post LOL)

So yes, THIS. Those two things. That's it. Need I say more? HAH OF COURSE I DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO (help)

More seriously--the way WKX is captivated by ZZS' apparent carefreeness and freedom, all the different feelings (or absence thereof, as he puts it, which I interpret as so distant from what he's used to feel that it almost feels like nothing at all) is what I was going for here.... By not showing his face at all LMAO

The envy, the frustration--the impression of being mocked, but also the longing, how it inspired him to follow along and try to be free like he was.

-cough- yes, so that was point 2 out of 3.

Now lastly, about ZZS himself and my representation of him as hoboxu. I think (?) I've written enough about him that I think I can keep this succint. I love how priest often makes a point of expliciting, in the book, how he's so often smiling, and how he's always incredibly energetic in the morning, as if the night of pain had never happened. I like to think that hoboxu is both a carricature of a ridiculous character that ZZS has fun embodying---but also a liberated expression of his deeper self.

WKX feels like he's mocking him, but ZZS is also mocking himself relentlessly, when he feels like the outside resembles the inside finally, when he feels ridiculous in these new robes, when he allows himself the most outrageous behavior---and then there's mocking life itself, mocking jianghu, mocking everything that he nonetheless deeply cherishes. It's almost... gently mocking, affectionate mocking of everything because his own life has become a joke yet he's still going to enjoy it to the fullest--drinking to his heart's content, rolling in the mud and visiting touristy sites (or so he intended).

In the end... the world is still in his own hands. He chose everything, chose the way he lived, the way he (would have) died and still has the power to dissappear at will--but he stays. Stays and endures what he pretends annoys him, because he can't help himself, because he's ridiculous and is aware of it and may as well have some fun while being so.

I can't seem to ever have enough of this, of this vibe. I wanted to have him laugh at and with WKX, at and with the people seeing him, at and with himself, at and with the narrative.

SO YEAH HAH THATS HUM THAT'S IT. You know what they say, it's only a fun meme if there's an essay behind it (noone says that help 😭😭😭😭)

I hope you had fun reading it and have a nice weeked 🤪

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #3

Trigger mention: Abuse

• Trying to hide your emotions when you have a Sag/9H moon is a struggle!🥲

• If somebody has an opposite moon to yours then the chances you'll get along depend on your sun's element.

• Wanna meet somebody that's probably the complete opposite? Go for someone who has the opposite sun sign as you but the same moon.-however this might not work for everyone.

• You'll probably get along best romantically with someone who has your rising sign as their Venus sign!

• Aries placements in composite especially Aries sun not only appear mostly in first love type relationships. They also appear in relationships where there's a lot of physical attraction. Same goes for Sag.

• Aries moons literally have to be the 1st/best and tend to get competitive the fastest.

• Most Aries mars act like everything is a competition.

• Aquarius/Sagittarius/Taurus moons are literally the 'my way or the high way' moons lol.

• Cancer moons are so sweet! Must be protected at all costs!!

• Cancer stellium with Leo mars in a chart are so sweet and hilarious.

• Virgo suns with Scorpio moons & Virgo mars are freaksss.🌚

• Scorpio suns with Gemini moons are so chaotic!! Even if they have a water rising. Literally one of my best friends has these placements and there's always some drama happening in his life lol!

• Earth mars at Gemini & Sag Degrees (3, 9, 15, 21, 27) why are you so physically & mentally hot? 🥵

• Pisces mars are such sweet people, until you push them lmao.

• Taurus moons are so stubborn! They could be wrong but they'll still stand on what they said...

• Scorpio Venus/mars why all the mystery? Jk you guys are so sexy!😩

• Gemini Venus, you are so fun and mentally active. This is your confirmation to date a Gemini rising, I promise you'll never get bored!

• Fire mars are so protective over their kids!

• Met someone you felt an instant connection to and feel like theyre different from the other people in your life? Yeah well they probably have the moon sign of the house your moon is in. E.g 9H moon - Sag moon, 7H moon - Libra moon, etc...

• Air moons with 2H Saturn's or earth degrees in their luminaries literally learn to internalize their emotions. Maybe they had strict parents or didn't want to burden their parents with their emotions.

• Aries mercuries are literally innocent in a way. You can notice it better as they lighten up when they get excited.

• Fire mercuries or mercury at Aries, Leo or Sag degrees tend to grow up in really bad environments where there's violence or verbal abuse involved. They even themselves could be the ones who got verbally abused or they could've witnessed their parents fight a lot when they were little.

• Fire mercuries also tend to be very bold in speech even as kids.

• Mercury at Leo degree (5, 17, 29) can be very sassy or into drama!

• Mercury at Sag degree (9, 21) can be very nonchalant and careless.

• Mercury in Capricorn, I love how you guys talk!!

• Earth placements in the big 6 tend to have deeper voices.

•I feel like Fire moons in the singer persona chart tend to have a strong singing voice but it doesn't really show at first like how a Fire rising/sun would in the singer pc.

• Also Earth placements in the singer persona chart tends to give someone a more earthy voice. E.g Alicia keys has sun in Virgo in her and her rising in Taurus in her Singer persona chart.

• Scorpio Venuses are so loveable!

• Cancer mars definitely makes somebody softer and more affectionate. Bonus points if they have a water venus.

• Aqua Venus are very friendship oriented and I love that! They make very good friends!

• Sag moons love decorating their homes lol.

• Air moons and Earth moons make great friendship combos! But of course there has to be boundaries.

• Pisces-Sag friendships are so chaotic and fun!

• Somehow there's always a Capricorn-Leo duo?

• Vesta signs be making the most sense. Mine's in Aries and I'm very drawn to Aries/Mars energy or I tend to attract Aries placements especially Mars.

• Libra sun men can be so charming and friendly even if they don't like you lol.

• Aries mercuries are most likely to vibe the best with Sag mercuries but their best friend might be a Libra mercury.

• Somehow people with their rising in the same element tend to live similar lives? Or have similar experiences in life.

• Gemini suns with Cancer mercuries are so cute! They tend to be soft spoken.

• Sag venuses are so fun lmao!

• Pisces Venus got a rep for being 'delusional' but I beg to differ. Pisces Venus are one of the most loving and caring venuses and they tend to give their all in relationships even to the point where they might lose themselves in those relationships. And while it's not healthy they might stay in toxic relationships because they love that person so much, it's hard letting go of someone you've dedicated yourself and your time to.

• Okay but why do a lot of Pisces or people with Pisces placements not know or be afraid of swimming?🤭

• Leo suns when underdeveloped can be the fakest people fr. But besides that they're good people.

• Aries mercuries with Gemini risings just be typing anything because they type really fast lmao.

• Earth placements be taking hella long to reply back smh.

[esoteriamaya]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS - MORE ABOUT THE STARS

Hey! My name is Monet. I wanted to share some more insight on the signs and some house placements. I hope you all enjoy!

Taurus suns are incredible listeners. They are big on gift giving and creating safe and sensual spaces for their partners. However they due tend to argue a lot, its the bull headed energy they have. Its an Adrenaline rush. Be careful not to be around them while their hot tempered, you might get a kick from the bull. On the bright side, their sensual personas is a gift from the cosmos. They can turn this trait into a gold mine. They have the energy to entice you with their words, their bodies and even the way they express themselves.

Jupiter in Aquarius individuals have a complex understanding of the cosmos. It's not typically understood by the masses but I mean it is in aquarius! Jupiter here shows an expansion in knowledge be it whatever it is they put their fingers on. The Midas Touch. Even if the odds are against them, they still have a notoriety to their character that most never saw coming. They change the odds to work in their favor due to a shift in mindset. Good luck bestows them when they go into odd, original territory. You never know what you might find!

Jupiter 10th House individuals have an urgency to be successful, this can be a painful placement to have because while they may have big dreams their is a ton of practicality that comes in with this placement. This placement can be quite depressive when they aren't sure how their plans for the future can commence. They have to work hard to get to this dream however they must take into account that things don't always happen so quickly. Jupiter in this house shows a person with a magnetic persona, where people will feel the good energy on you and will latch on to it. It doesnt quite matter what this character is doing, they will always have a respectable aura to the masses. It is their gift.

Sun in the 11th shows a person who is popular with the masses, however it has its quirks. These are the internet famous geeks. The ones who turn the trends into their favor. Pioneers in the originality train. They normally just have to be themselves and people will be attracted to them. Angel dust is literally sprinkled on their character. For social media of course ;) jk. On another end, these people are quick to join different organizations and groups. However they feel at the moment, they usually take a chance in whatever is not the ordinary. 11th house is ruled by uranus/aquarius naturally, so the 11th house suns have a knack for creating and/or being in spaces where they can connect to people who are different from them.

Neptune 12th housers, whew boy. You guys have a gift in the subconscious that goes untapped by the rest of the world. Your gift in seeing things that arent there, can be used in creative/practical outlets. I'd argue that you could just paint or draw, but its much bigger than that. Sometimes thats not what you're subconscious is looking for. It requires you to seek it. This house placement goes on journeys through the psyche, and in the physical it shows itself in a number of ways. Whether through people, art, locations. Doesn't matter. There is one thing that is always certain, that the imagination has a mission. And that's to bring it to life.

These people are good at reading the world because they are constantly rejected and ocratized on being different. The 'crazy' one. But the one who is also the most talented in astrology, occult, the stars, and mysticism. It's a gift not everyone gets, but it's something work noting. They challenge you too see the beyond, and help others tap into themselves . The escapist, they have others who try to escape with them, but it doesnt last. Be gentle with them, they have a lot going on in their mind. They just want to share it with someone.

Venus in Leo has a royal aura. Their charm can wow others and can make them fall in love easily. Their gift is in works of art but for them i do sense singing would be a great one for them. They don't need to have the 'best' voice. Just the confidence to keep going. Their magnetism is strongest during artistic associations because leo gets a knack out of being in the spotlight.

Mercury in the 3rd House has a significant tone to their voice. Its odd but its very distinctive that people enjoy listening. These people can also have a knack in playing instruments. Jazz style locations works for them. This is so the mind can relax as they are consistently on the go. Researching kills any acts of boredom easily, as this is a necessity for the mind.

[spade-riddles]

The album and the Matty Healy of it all; the Allegory and a literary breakdown for you all :)

As an english girly, I am having the most fun dissecting this album. She wrote her entire story into the album. It’s an allegory, each song has two major interpretations, one is the obvious (matty/joe/travis/PATERNITY TEST) whereas the other is her truth. This is a literary device that has been used in writing throughout history since forever. Everything about this album is so intentional, especially the Matty Healy of it all. This album has been planned so meticulously, every move she’s made with the beards has been to directly tie into the songs and the references. She needed a heavily documented example, she wants people to believe it, so when she burns it all down she can say “look at how easy is was to construct a narrative, hide an allegory within it and watch no one get it, it’s happened my whole life”, this is why this album is so much louder to all of us than the rest of them, because we have always seen the second story but now she’s making it more obvious. But they will get it, the story in this album is so strong, she’s coming out and she’s made this so she can send people to look back at her music (lookin’ backwards/might be the only way to move forward- her entire catalogue is the manuscript) screaming “I told you, I laid it all out. You didn’t believe me!” This is the post mortem, every reason why she’s ‘dead’ (the inauthentic version) is laid out in the album.

For example, i’ll break down ‘Fortnight’ since we have the MV imagery too. On the surface is about her fling with MH. If you get down to the next layer it’s about the failed coming out & Karlie. About how she almost had it all “for a fortnight” (just a metaphor for a short time), how her plans got ruined and how she’s doing it over again. She was supposed to be sent away, she was meant to go stay in the asylum (the closet).

“Now you’re in my backyard, turned into good neighbours”.

She has Karlie so close to her, but hidden in her backyard, no one can see her in her backyard.

“Your wife waters flowers, I want to kill her.” There is something that is in the way of them being together, she wants it to end (her public narrative). Could also be a reference to JK, he gets to to be with Karlie, watering flowers in her garden (betty’s garden anyone) while Taylor watches, she wants to kill the perception of him as Karlie’s husband.

The rest of the song moves into Karlie & Taylor getting closer, they’re plotting a way out.

“Now you’re at the mailbox, turned into good neighbours, my husband is cheating, I want to kill him.” Again, Taylor’s husband is her public persona, she wants to kill it.

When you add in the music video, she’s breaking out of the asylum with her twin, then she was put right back in there and her twin is performing experiments on her. I think Post Malone represents both Taylor and Karlie at different points in the MV, because both of their own choices are also part of the reason they’re still closeted, she’s acknowledging this. But then something happens, one of them can’t do it anymore so they run away. This is the release of the album, specifically 2am 04/19 (fresh out the slammer), Taylor’s on top of the box, she’s out; this the endgame for her now, but Karlie is still stuck in the phone box (the closet). But not for long! 😘

Every single song is like this, there’s a very intricate but obvious second story. They’re not all about Karlie, there’s a lot about her childhood, other muses (thank you aimee is not about Kim, it’s about a hometown love), growing up, her fans, the industry, closeting, christianity, masters heist.

I’ll touch base quickly on ‘The Albatross’.

She’s coming to take down SB, i’m not sure 100% how but I think it has to do with the coming out and exposing everything he’s done to her to keep her in the closet for so long (it’s a lot darker than people think).

She is here to destroy him.

“Now you’re persona non grata” he’s not going to be able to work anymore, he’s going to be exiled from the music industry.

There’s always been the iffiness around the masters situation, people saying she was told prior, her insisting she wasn’t. The below is a confession (and a threat).

“Wise men once read fake news

And they believed it

Jackals raised their hackles

You couldn't conceive it

You were sleeping soundly

When they dragged you from your bed

And I tried to warn you about them”

She lied, she knew about the master situation but she said she didn’t. Her fans believed it though and they crucified him, she tried to warn him how powerful they were. She’s already embedded that image of him in their minds, so when the next thing comes out (lol), they’re going to raise absolute hell, his entire career is going to be over.

“thanK you aIMee”, the entire world right now thinks it’s about Kim Kardashian, because she capitalised ‘KIM’ in the title, there’s that line about her kid singing her song (which coincidentally did happen). It’s so obviously about her right! No, it’s another “blue dress on a boat”, something she has done throughout her whole career is splice monumental images of Taylor Swift ™ into her songs, so she can sing about her real life without being questioned. Except this time, she’s trying to make you question it, that’s why it’s so OBVIOUSLY 🙄 about Kim Kardashian. A red herring if you will 😉. It’s meant to point you towards one thing, when it’s really not about that thing at all.

tldr: everything about the album is intentional, she’s layered two narratives together on purpose. one at surface level, one a bit deeper.

Images are both Taylor’s & Aaron‘s words on the album, about hidden meanings and secrets.

And if you need any further proof, at exactly 4:19 of ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ title track, she says “who’s gonna troll you?”. The entire album is the troll, for the general public, it’s not about the men at all.

[cherigu]

— ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Love to Hate, Hate to Love!

Genre: smut, enemies to lovers Pairing: sub!jeongguk x softdom!reader Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: porn (with) plot, college au, alcohol consumption, reader calls jk puppy like once, hair pulling, nipple play, jk cums in his pants, dry humping, implied oral

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“Words spread like wildfire, Jimin. I’ve heard a thing or two about Jeongguk and they’re not all that good.” You stopped to pop a candy in your mouth, loving the taste of the sugary sweetness. 

The soft glow of Jimin’s TV was currently the only form of lighting, doing a sufficient job of illuminating the living room. The two of you were sitting on either side of the black couch, sharing the snacks that were supposed to be for movie night. The long-forgotten Disney movie served as background noise for the gossip you were currently engaging in.

“I doubt it though, he seems like a good guy. Of course, completely disregarding that I haven’t met him.” You finished chewing and passed the box of sweets to Jimin. He took the box before starting, “What kinds of things have you heard?” You scoffed in disbelief, surprised Jimin didn’t know about what people on campus said about his friend.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, Jeongguk was walking down the apartment corridor, eagerly scanning the doors for Jimin’s apartment number. With two takeout boxes on one arm, he raised the unoccupied one to knock on Jimin’s door. Just as his tattooed hand was about to come in contact with the door, he quickly pulled away at the sound of the familiar voice he identified as yours, saying his name. He couldn’t help but eavesdrop knowing the conversation was about him.

“His shy persona is bullshit. He butters girls up only to get his dick wet and throws them out the next morning. Not just that, but he’s an overall asshole. No wonder he has no friends.” You raised your hands to use air quotes, something Jeongguk couldn’t see. “That’s insane, I get the dude looks intimidating, but his exterior doesn’t reflect his personality. Jeongguk is a sweetheart!” Jimin exclaimed while shaking his head. He couldn’t believe how stupid people were.

Jeongguk was the most gentle person he’d ever met in his life. He was selfless, always putting others before him even if it meant he’d end up getting the short end of the stick. He’d comfort you while holding back tears of his own, not wanting to redirect the concern to him. He’d let you eat the leftovers he had saved for his dinner, even if he’d go to sleep hungry. Yet still people made up ways to talk down on one of the kindest people on campus.

Jeongguk’s tense body relaxed a bit after hearing Jimin defend him but the shock of your words made his blood run cold. The two of you were never really close. Despite being in the same friend group, Jeongguk was more reserved and kept to himself, not allowing you to get to know him much. He doubted his ability to even call you an acquaintance. 

That still didn’t stop him from admiring you from afar. Another reason the two of you never got close was because of his undeniable crush on you. He feared that he’d mess things up and say the wrong words, considering he felt more timid than usual around you. You were pretty and the few times you had interacted with him, you were nothing but kind to him. This made his heart shrink even more, is this what you thought of him all along?

 He sadly looked down at his takeout boxes as he toyed with his lip piercing, wondering if it’d be a good idea to announce his presence at this point. He figured he couldn’t let the food go to waste as he wouldn’t be able to eat both boxes, so he sucked in a breath and shyly knocked on the door.

Jimin excused himself, making his way to the door to check who it was through the peephole. He flung the door open in excitement as his favorite person stood on the other side of the walls. 

“Gukkie! What’s up? Come inside” Jimin excitedly motioned his hands towards the living room, dropping them when Jeongguk didn’t seem to move an inch. “Um..I-I actually have somewhere to be… Just needed to drop off some food for you. Picked up some takeout and figured I’d get some for you as well” Jeongguk nervously handed the box to Jimin, painfully aware that he wasn’t the best liar in the world.

“My boy” Jimin gracefully accepted the box and pinched his cheek before Jeongguk playfully swatted his hand away.  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay a bit? y/n’s here, you guys can finally get to properly meet each other!”

 “It’s kind of urgent hyung, I’m sorry. At least you have company so you won’t eat alone right?” 

“Ah, I guess so. She’s been here a while now so she might head out soon, or not? Y/n acts like she lives here, that girl” Jimin chuckled.

Jeongguk nodded, wincing at the mention of your name.

“I’ll still make sure to get you guys to know each other next time I host at my place, probably in a week” Jimin exclaimed, already eager to introduce his two best friends to each other.

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If there was someone who was a man of his word, it had to be Jimin. Although on this rare occasion, Jeongguk wished he wasn’t. Not that he’d appreciate a liar, but at least he wouldn’t be standing uncomfortably by the snack table waiting for his friends to approach him. Somehow he felt more nervous than if he’d been at a real party. Jimin liked to throw gatherings where he’d invite his friend group, encouraging them to bring a plus one. It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big either. This meant he’d for sure bump into you tonight. He had tried getting out of this, he did, but how could he not come when Jimin’s pout was audible through the phone when he heard Jeongguk had to take a rain check? If he had to attend, the least he could do was pray that you wouldn’t. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his arm being tugged by none other than Taehyung.

“Jeonggukkie let’s go play Do or Drink!” he giggled, already drunk and still looking forward to drinking more.

Soon enough he was brought to the living room where a circle of familiar, and unfamiliar, faces had gathered in excitement to play the drinking game. There wasn’t much space given the eagerness of the people to drink in a fun way. Taehyung felt Jeongguk’s uncertainty, so he pushed him toward the only empty spot. “Go sit with y/n!” Jeongguk snapped his head to where Taehyung had pointed, and sure enough, you were there.

Even while sitting down, Jeongguk got a perfect view of you. While he already knew this, it felt wrong to admit the undeniable. You were beautiful.

Curvy body adorned with a tight black dress, seemingly hugging you in all of the right places. Diamond necklace delicately draped over your collarbones, unintentionally garnering attention to your chest. The dress ended just above your mid-thigh, exposing the smooth skin of your legs which were crossed as you prettily sat while you waited for the game to start. The diamond anklet wrapped around your ankle matched the necklace, clearly showing you had an eye for accessories that elevated your looks. 

As if it couldn’t get any better, you made eye contact with him, allowing him to get a full view of your features. Your eyes sparked like you carried the whole galaxy in them. They turned into crescent moons when you smiled at him, pretty plump lips curling up just enough to show off your pearly whites. You waved and pointed to the spot next to you, inviting him to sit.

Jeongguk was starstruck, if there was at least one person out there who was the definition of perfect, it had to be you. He quickly broke out of his trance, suddenly remembering what you had said about him a week ago. He understood now. You were beautiful, you had friends, smarts, and a social life, which explains why you thought of him the way you did. You didn’t have time to associate with people like him, hence why you only had a notion of him based on what other people said. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little bitter. 

The game seemed to drag on forever. He hadn’t had much to drink yet with the dares being pretty tame and doable, but he was surely tipsy enough to fall into an extreme state of paranoia. His sweaty hands were red from how many times he had wiped them on the rough material of his jeans. He couldn’t help but squirm in his spot. Had you gotten closer, or was it the alcohol? He knew it wasn’t a big deal, you hadn’t made an effort to communicate with him, being too preoccupied with the game. Still, he couldn’t help but feel nervous by your threatening presence. All he wanted to do was get this night over with without having to cross paths with you after this. However, the universe had other plans as Hoseok, the designated card reader, read out the younger’s card.

“Kiss the person to your right, or take a shot”

Jeongguk’s throat suddenly went dry, unable to swallow properly. He tried his best to act normal about it, but his widened eyes communicated his panic to the rest of the circle. 

“Finally this game gets somewhere!” Mina clapped. 

Jeongguk turned to his right, and almost as if the two of you were in sync, you turned to look at him as well. Your eyes locked for less than two seconds before Jeongukk spoke.

If Jeongguk felt nervous just from sitting next to you before, he was surely going to throw up now.

“I’ll take the drink” He turned away to look at Namjoon who was in charge of the drinks. “Are you sure? There’s only vodka left, I know you don’t like it-” Namjoon warned while filling up the shot glass regardless.

“I don’t care” 

Jeongguk quickly took the glass in his hands when Namjoon passed it, pouring the clear liquid down his throat which caused his face to scrunch into one of disgust. He winced at the taste but swallowed it nevertheless.

Your gaze never seemed to falter from his face, burning holes into the side of his skull, something that didn’t go unnoticed by him. You didn’t understand why the boy had reacted that way, not even giving you a chance to come to an agreement of at least kissing you on the cheek, as the card hadn’t exclusively said a kiss on the lips. Instead, he chose to send himself into a coughing fit all because he drank the strongest alcohol available at the party.

“The speed of his decision was almost offensive” Joy snickered.

“Don’t know where her mouth has been” Jeongguk murmured, but not silent enough for the players to ignore, especially not you. “Excuse me?” You turned your body towards him with a stern, yet confused look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You scoffed while crossing your arms.

“E-exactly what I said, probably sucked someone off before playing. Maybe more than o-one.” Jeongguk replied, strong words contrasting with his insecure body language. He didn’t realize the weight of his words, never being one to insult people to their faces, or at all. You could say his subconscious mind spoke for him, needing to let you know that you weren’t the only one who could talk shit about someone before fully getting to know them.

At this point, the circle of people had grown silent as you sharply stood up. The public’s eyes fixated either on you or the boy who seemed to shrink under your killer gaze.

“How about instead of speaking on matters that don’t concern you, much less know about, you just accept that you couldn’t kiss me because you’d pop a boner in front of everyone.” You picked up your bag, “Easy fuck, probably made that shit up ‘cause you wished it’d been you, huh? Those people were right about you and your act.” You spat at him, never failing to break eye contact with him. With that, you left.

You weren’t sure if you had overreacted or not, the buzz from the alcohol clouding your judgment and making you slightly more irritable than usual. Regardless of that, disrespect is something you will never stand for, especially if it’s unprovoked. 

Jimin had taken off behind you, but not before scowling at Jeongguk. 

“Y/n!” Jimin’s voice rang behind you. You stopped to turn to look at him, and then back at the staircase to make sure you wouldn’t fall given your alcohol-induced blurry vision. 

“Look, I don’t know what your friend’s deal is, but tell him to take it up with his daddy. I literally do not know him enough to have ever done anything to him, yet he still had the nerve to not only disrespect me but humiliate me in front of my friends with some crazy accusations.” 

Jimin sighed, “I don’t know what got into him tonight, he usually takes his alcohol well, it couldn’t have been that. Whatever it was though, I’m so sorry he did that.”

“You don’t have to apologize unless you’ve been running your mouth to him about my personal business that made him come to that conclusion.” You huffed, only now thinking of the possibility that the person you trusted the most with details about your sex life, was airing out your business.

“Never! You know I wouldn’t do that to you y/n. Look, I’ll talk to him, alright? I’ll make sure the boys knock some sense into him.” Jimin placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You placed your own on top of his, believing and trusting him.

“Alright”

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That was a year ago, and sure enough, Jimin had talked to Jeongguk that night. Although the younger didn’t seem to cooperate. In his words, he had said that because “it could’ve been true.” He never gave the real reason as to why he said what he said, leaving everyone in the dark concerning his unexpected behavior that day at the gathering. 

Ever since then, the two of you were intolerable to one another. You avoided each other at all costs, but while technically being in the same friend group, it was impossible. You would run into each other occasionally, and it’d never end well. Curses and yells were shared, always needing the older friends to intervene and ensure no one bit the other’s head off. 

As much as he hated to admit it, Jeongguk’s anger was just a façade. He never meant anything he said, down to the comment that started this whole feud. The truth is, he was more hurt than angry at what you said, but his feelings for you never seemed to dissolve. That’s what got him the most. With every insult he threw at you, his intention was not to hurt your feelings. The boy only tried to protect his heart against the power of your rage.

He knew he was at fault, but there was no use in regretting the stupid comment he made in the heat of the moment. It was done, and he was sure you’d never forgive him. That left him with no option but to reciprocate the anger and hatred you showed him anytime you saw him. 

Jeongguk stepped into Yoongi’s house, entering the party he was so desperate to attend just to have an excuse to drink. He knew he was bound to bump into you at some point throughout the night, but if he was drunk enough, he wouldn’t have to care or even remember.

He had cleaned up nice, ironic considering his mind was a mess. His shoulder-length hair was nicely styled into a half ponytail, the middle part allowing the bangs to fall on either side of his face. A grey short sleeve draped over his toned body, exposing his buff arms that were so beautifully covered in tattoos. He had been keen on detailing recently, nicely tucking the front of his oversized tee into his black baggy jeans, tying it together with a belt. To add the final touch, he matched the silver buckle of his belt with a thin silver chain that wrapped around his neck

Sweaty bodies danced around him, loud music filling his ears as he made his way over to the couch. He allowed his body to fall back into the comfortable cushions, holding a red solo cup in one arm while draping the free one over his eyes and sighing. Had it been a good idea to attend knowing the two of you couldn’t be under the same roof? Was he overthinking? Maybe you didn’t come, or maybe you’d be busy somewhere else and he’d never run into you.

His thought process was interrupted by a sudden gust of a familiar, intoxicating scent. The warm vanilla aroma was enough to bring him right back to the night he was sitting next to you.  He instinctively opened his eyes, and as if they had a mind of their own, they scanned the room until they found you.

You had to be kidding him.

It seems you had fun with your outfit today. The dark, belt-like, denim mini skirt fits your plump ass perfectly, not too revealing, but leaving little to the imagination. Your black, cropped tube top hung low, showing off enough cleavage to make Jeongguk’s breath hitch. Gold jewelry was scattered throughout your body, from your earrings, down to the buckle of your black strappy heels.

Your enticing scent mixed with your alluring visuals were enough to make Jeongguk’s pants tighten up around him. Flustered with his body’s reaction, he cursed the alcohol for not kicking in sooner. The image of you was now sure to plague his mind for the rest of the week.

Eager to relieve his frustration, he stood up again and made his way to the game of spin the bottle his friends were playing. If it wasn’t with you tonight, it’d be someone else. He didn’t even bother looking at who was playing, needing someone to distract him immediately. 

Eyes fixated on the bottle, he waited until it was either his turn or it landed on him. But before he was given a chance to spin it for the first time, the bottle landed right in his direction.

“Hell no.” 

He recognized that voice too well, down to the tone in which you had spoken. The tone you always used on him when his mere presence worked you up. He followed the direction in which the other side of the bottle pointed towards.

“C’mon y/n, rules are rules” Jihyo laughed next to you, obviously instigating the situation.

“There’s no way I’m going into that closet with him, especially not for seven minutes are you crazy? He’s gonna accuse me of blowing someone again!” You threw your hands in annoyance, ready to re-spin the bottle before Taehyung’s hand stopped your own.

“If you know it wasn’t true, why do you still bring it up” Jeongguk spoke, earning everyone’s attention. He wouldn’t go weak, not now. His plan wasn’t to convince you to go with him, but it was a common occurrence for the both of you to fight for the last word.

“He’s right y/nnie, are you gonna pussy out now?” Taehyung teased her.

“I’ll fucking kill you, all of you” You got up, walking across the circle to lift Jeongguk by his arm and drag him towards the bedroom door, pushing him inside the closet. “I’ll start the timer” Jimin giggled from the living room.

It was a small space, not suitable to hang in, but roomy enough to sit with a reasonable distance between them. “Why’d you give in?” Jeongguk raised his brow, confused at your unusual silence towards him. “Because I’m not a coward, stupid.” You rolled your eyes. Despite the closet being dark, Jeongguk was able to see you perfectly. “We don’t actually have to do anything, just sit still and be quiet for the next seven minutes, think you can do that?” You turned to him.

Jeongguk nodded slowly, not in the mood to start a fight. If this were the most “quality time” he could get from you, he’d take it. Although, there was a slight problem.

“Do you think they’ll believe we did anything? They’ll call you a cheater if we come out the way we went in.” Jeongguk paused as you turned to look at him. “Not that I’d care, just thought you might.” He stared directly in front of him and heard you sigh.

Shortly after, he heard some shuffling from your side.

“Let me give you a hickey” You deadpanned, maintaining eye contact even after his eyes went wide. You were now propped up on your knees in front of him. 

“W-what?” He stuttered, taken aback by how casually you had just proposed the idea of sucking on his neck. How were you, someone who insulted him every chance you got, supposed to feel him up? Not that he was complaining, but you had to be joking.

“You’re right, they’ll get suspicious. You don’t have to say yes though, I guess” You sat back on your ass, cringing at yourself for being so straightforward.

“No, w-wait. It’s.. okay.. go.. um.. Go ahead” Jeongguk rambled, his brain already turning into mush at the thought of you being so close to him. 

You perked up at the sound of his permission, rising back up to your knees and maneuvering your way to straddle his lap. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t okay with your placement. Sure, you found the boy annoying, but you couldn’t help and be captivated by the way his thick thighs flexed underneath you. The sight of his veins was more prominent with the shadows of the setting you were in. With one hand on the back of his neck, and the other flush on his chest, you felt his hard pecks through the thin shirt. He slightly gasped at the new position.

“Better access” You shrugged, flipping your hair so it wouldn’t come in between your job. 

Jeongguk was stiff, awfully stiff due to the situation he was in. His hands were laid by his sides, planted on the floor as he felt your hot breath on his neck. He was okay with this, a little too okay, but his nerves were uncontrollable due to the proximity between the two of you. Without any warning, you latched your mouth onto his neck, earning a breathy moan from Jeongguk. 

“Are you a virgin, or what Jeon?” You smirked.

He wasn’t, everyone knew he wasn’t. He knew his way around casual hookups and one-night stands. Only on rare occasions though, not being a usual recurrence for him because of his reserved nature. Still, he was grown and had some experience in that field. However, how could he not react to your touch? The thought of you alone was able to make him grow hot in places only he’d know about.

Your hot tongue danced across the smooth skin of his neck, wetly sucking the spot that made his body twitch, letting you know it was his sweet spot. Hungrily nipping at his skin, quiet moans spilled through the part of his lips. You continued your actions until you felt like it had been enough to create a pretty bruise. Letting go, you blew cool air on the hot skin of his neck, causing goosebumps to form everywhere. 

"There we go, done!"

Just as you were about to peel your body from his, Jeongguk broke. He knew it wasn’t a part of the agreement to touch you, but his hands acted on their own as they formed a grip around your hips. He sharply pressed down, causing your skirt to ride up and inevitably connect your core to the rock-hard tent in his pants. He was now hot and bothered, feeling your teeth in his neck not being something for the weak.

You’d been too busy with his neck to realize how fucked out he’d become with the slightest touch. His lips were puffy, given how many times he had bitten down on them to prevent him from moaning. They had also grown swollen and pink, matching the flush of his cheeks due to the fluster. This only made your core ache, desperate to know what he’d look like after a night with you.

A hand reached over to his face, cupping his jaw, “Guess I was right at Jimin’s, you did wish it had been you, hm?” You teased, not quite knowing what had taken over you. The need to make a mess out of the boy who’d made your life hell for the past year had suddenly become your deepest desire. 

“Please” He whispered, doe eyes pleading for more of your touch. He was now putty in your hands, wanting nothing more than your touch, mouth on his neck left him wanting more. You decided to taunt him, not quite letting him get what he wants yet.

“Please what?” You cocked your head mockingly. He groaned in embarrassment, hiding his face in your neck.

“Use your words puppy, otherwise we’re done here.” You lied, secretly hoping he’d tell you to keep going. While you had no problem leaving him high and dry, that’d make two of you. Being able to feel Jeongguk’s hard cock dangerously close to your clit made your stomach heat up in excitement. With your sanity being long gone, you couldn’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to have him inside of you. His cock would slide up and down your tight walls, making him whimper at the sensation. The veins would simulate you in a way no other, causing your walls to contract around his thick length and milk him for all he’s worth. He’d keep going even after you’d both come, fucking himself stupid only to stare at the white ring forming around his cock as it disappeared inside of your wet pussy. 

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the boy beneath you finally spoke up, “Kiss me, p-please” He muttered into your neck, slowly raising his eyes to meet yours. “Good boy” You whispered, praising him for his compliance.

You stared at him for a while, gaze growing dark and breath going shallow as you crashed your lips into his. You let all of the hatred and anger you had stored for him, melt into hunger and passion. His grip on your hips grew tighter as your mouths hastily connected. His heart was about to beat out of his chest, warmth coating his entire body and hunger for you growing. With your tits flush against his chest, he was almost sure you could feel the beating of his heart.

Your hands traveled up to his hair, slightly pulling on his ponytail which earned you a gasp, allowing you to slide your tongue past his lips. You explored his mouth until he stopped you by softly sucking on your tongue, being as equally into this as you were. The kiss was frantic, two people who swore they hated each other, finally realizing what they’d been missing out on.

Jeongguk swore he was on cloud nine. Feeling your lips outside of his dreams was something he could get used to, and hoped he’d have the opportunity to do so. Your lips felt so plush against his mouth, tasting sweet like cotton candy. Your tongue worked his mouth so well, making his cock throb at the thought of how it’d feel down there.

You tugged on the ends of his shirt, asking for permission to remove it. He broke the kiss in response, allowing the two of you to catch your breath while you removed his shirt.

He felt shy under your stare, suddenly feeling the need to cover up. He’d been naked in front of girls before, but being with you right now made him incredibly vulnerable. He felt like giving himself to you, allowing you to do whatever you wanted to do to him. What he didn’t know, is that you were too busy drinking him up with your eyes. Arousal gushed out of your puffy pussy, creating a wet patch in your lace panties. His strong pecks and slim waist were enough for you to clench on nothing, desperate for him to fill you up.

“So pretty, all mine for tonight, yea?” Delicate fingertips grazed his abdomen, driving him crazy and desperate for your touch. 

“All yours, y-yours whenever..” He struggled with his words, still trying to get used to interacting with you in a way that was outside of arguing. Despite this, he fully meant what he said, and hoped you’d get the memo.

Wasting no time, you sloppily continued to kiss him, this time bringing your mouth down to his neck again. Wet, open-mouthed kisses coated Jeongguk’s skin, causing it to suddenly feel really sensitive. Your hand slowly trailed down his body, exploring new territory and taking advantage of the situation to feel him up wherever your heart desired. It wasn’t until you brushed one of your hands over his nipple, that he let out a particularly high-pitched whimper.

“Like that baby?” You teased, earning an eager nod and whine in response.

Using a free hand, you reached down to his length, giving it a firm squeeze before softly palming it. The heaviness felt satisfying in your hand, encouraging you to massage him while your mouth trailed lower, lips ghosting over his chest. You placed a kiss right above his brown bud, a short warning before swirling your tongue around it. Sucking on it, Jeongguk basked in the pleasure of the sight and sensation. You knew what you were doing, and that turned him on even more. It was your first time being so intimate with him, yet you seemed to know his weak spots like the back of your hand. 

“F-fuck y/n, need you, pleasee” He admitted, tears brimming his eyes while he sharply bucked up his hips into yours in search of friction.

Still sucking on his bud, you removed your hand from his clothed dick, moving it up to play with his unattended nipple. Giving an experimental roll of your hips, you were satisfied with how Jeongguk reacted, slightly choking on his spit from the friction on his cock. You kept bucking forward slowly until eventually setting a pace. Grinding down on his cock, you smeared the arousal that had leaked from your panties onto his jeans, making his head fall back. His breathing became quick at the newfound sensation. The material of his jeans rubbed his cock deliciously, in addition to feeling the warmth and dampness of your sweet cunt. 

“Just like that” He whined, matching your pace as your pussy repeatedly rubbed on his shaft.

“This is what you wanted the whole time wasn’t it? Just wanted me to make you cum, hm?” You pressed down your clit onto his tip, making him whimper pathetically. One of your hands traveled back to his head, tugging on his hair to make him face you.

“I- fuck” 

“Answer the question” You tightened your grip.

“Yes! Wanted you y/n, so, so bad- ahhh” He tapped on your thighs trying to get you to slow down.

“ ‘m gonna cum soon if y-you don’t stop” His actions contradicted his words as he instinctively rutted his hips harder into you, chasing his high.

“You wanted this baby, now take it.” You worked your knees against the floor, pushing into Jeongguk’s cock as much as possible to help him reach his high. At some point, you pressed down onto a spot on his tip that made him cry, only motivating you to press down harder. 

His lip trembled as fat tears fell from his eyes, mewling as his vision began to blur and ringing filled his ears. Your hands came up to his cheeks, wiping away at his evidence of mind-fucking pleasure. “Such a sensitive baby, cum for me Gukkie” You cooed, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten at his fucked out face.

With his high right around the corner, he feverishly bucked his hips into yours. His movements began to stutter as the coil in his stomach became undone, causing him to shoot his thick load into his pants with a loud wail. His body convulsed under yours as his orgasm made him shake uncontrollably. He chanted a string of curses with your name as you continued with your pace on his dick, loving how shamelessly vocal he was. He held onto your body tight, once again digging his head into the crook of your neck as he came down from his high, only now realizing he had cummed in his pants. 

You continued your movements until his lips formed a pout and his eyes became glossy again, “No more, too much..” He mumbled into your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer as your hips stopped all movement. Feeling how soft the boy had grown under you, your hands soothingly rubbed his back and let him hold you for as long as he needed. “Did so well, Gukkie, so so well” you whispered and gently kissed the crown of his head. 

Once his breathing returned to normal, his head quickly shot up to come face to face with you. “Did you cum?” He questioned, eyes beginning to glitter with lust once more. “No, but it’s oka-” Your words were cut short by the sudden loss of contact, Jeongguk’s body quickly moving down to face your legs. 

“Jeongguk really, it’s okay. Don’t feel like you owe me.” You reached a hand down to caress his face which was now positioned dangerously close to your aching heat. 

“Don’t care, wan’ make you feel good too.” He kissed your thigh, slowly working his way up until he allowed his tongue to fall flat against your clothed core. The sweet taste of your damp panties left him craving more, wasting no time in pushing your panties aside before looking up at you for permission. 

“been a good boy, right?” He whimpered, blood rushing to his cock again at the sight of the meal in front of him, as well as your pretty, desperate face.

“Mhmm, my good boy” You whispered, using the hand on his face to slightly push him towards you, not having to use too much force as Jeongguk voluntarily dipped in, immediately getting to work. 

Safe to say, the timer had been long forgotten about.

A/N: I'd b lying if i said i didn't stall a wee bit to drop this loll feel free to leave feedback, I'm a new writer and always willing to do better &lt;3

[janesgms]

Astro Notes - 08

✨️ General Edition ✨️

I hope this makes sense but having venus overlays in the houses related to your venus sign is one of the best placements to have in a romantic relationship, even if is not a house known for being romantic. For ex: there's a boy I'm getting to know who's a gemini venus, and i am an aquarius venus, his venus falls in my 11th house and my venus falls in his 3rd. These 2 houses are known for friendships but in this case they work differently and we have a lot of chemistry and lovey feelings for each other, far from being a friendly connection!

In my experiences, having moon conjunct moon is a total hell to me. There's just a lot of "emotional" tension who gets unbearable most of the times and you can be so similar that you don't understand each other and may hate each other. I think this placement at its worst is a war of egos 24/7. Also being deeply hurt by anything the other do, you may feel much more emotional than the usual. But idk bc every placement works differently for everyone. And this can be similar to moon opposite moon, even though I still prefer moon opp moon over moon conjunct moon.

HOWEVER, having moon in the same sign but not in a conjunction is such a paradise to me, it's truly a blessing to have in any type of relationship because u understand each other in a very nurturing way, so sweet, you feel at ease with this person.

And talking about moon, the sweetest thing to have, even if cliche, is definitely moon trine moon or moon in the 4th house overlay, it's way better than conjunctions or oppositons, because these two are very intense and may never end well, even if you felt like you've found a soulmate at first, it's truly karmic, but with the moon trine moon/moon 4H overlay is so good, specially if they are in the same synastry >>>

Moon 7H overlay it's a weird feeling for me as the moon because i feel so appreciated by the house person. The house person usually sees the moon person like an inspiration, and they find the moon so but SO perfect at everything, you have no idea, sometimes i even get shy. If you're looking for someone who worships you or just really compliments you naturally then find someone who has their 7th house in your moon sign (thank me later). Also i feel like the 7th house person do not see any imperfection in the moon person and can help them to overcome their insecurities. When I'm the house person, I even get jealous at the moon person because they're treated literally like royalty. Just remembering that this also depends on other aspects and the whole synastry guys bc the 7th house can be a tricky one, so don't come at me later, but for now I'm loving it

Something interesting is that i keep attracting guys with cancer/pisces venus or mars and i literally have pisces venus and cancer mars in my mars persona chart 🤯 pls leave me alone i don't want uuuuuuu,,, jk but i think this is cause I need to deal better with this energy internally so they're necessary for my jouney 🔪🔪

Now talking about the apocaliptic 8H and 12H synastry. There was a guy I've had something with, I'm gonna call him T, so T has his venus/asc/SATURN!!!! in my 12th house and mars/uranus in my 8th house, and i have my moon/mc/juno in his 12th house and venus/chiron/neptune in his 8th house, and let me tell you this was one of the most painful things i've went through, this person left unhealable scars in me, and the worst is that it seemed like a fairytale to me most of the times. So, summing it, this synastry is hella karmic and can be dangerous to your mental health if you're not careful, but everyone needs to go through it to learn something in this life so we have to move on. But i'm not saying it is terrible all the time because it depends on both people's maturity, I just had the bad luck of sharing it with a heartless person, and I was the one hurt in the end 🖤 but anyways life goes on i still cry to this date thinking about T

Talking about karmic relationships, i believe South Node in 4H in synastry is a huge indicator of past life conections, or just a comfortable feeling generally if not this kind of connection, so that can explain why you can attract certain ascendants more than others. For ex: I always attract cancer ascendants and my south node falls in their 4th house

Another ascendant I attract a lot is sagittarius but this ain't good always because they can be so stressful when underveloped. And this can be to the fact that my sun/mercury falls in their 1st house and my moon falls in their 7th house so they feel pulled to me in a sense? But as you all must know these overlays can be super superficial at times and I don't enjoy it always as the planet person... But overall I still love my sagittarius risings most of the time <3

There's something so sweet about Taurus Mercuries when they're talking that i find it underrated, yes everyone talks about how they have sensual voices but sometimes they're just cute. There's an undeniable charm in the way they talk like i just want to hear them talk all the time (this applies to both vedic and western)

Now to be honest one of the best placements for physical enchantment in synastry is ASC in the 5H overlay, as the asc person i just feel so much attracted to the asc's appearance and aura it's crazy, but i wanna experience it as the asc person too (hey aries risings how u doin)

This one's also a cliche but all of the twins i know have at least one placement of their big 6 in gemini! also as a gemini moon i've always attracted a lot of twins in my life and i've always wanted to have twins, still a dream though. But it runs in my mom's genetics since in her family there are thousands of twins so i still have chances guys!!

Not to brag or anything because i say it basing on other sag mercuries I know *yes we apparently attract each other like moths to flames lol*, but sagittarius mercuries are so fun to talk to when they want to, and specially online, they text like the most excited person ever with a lot of emojis and all of that, also their laugh are always gonna be loud or straight funny, be it personally or virtually. But i realize we only do that to who we really like and obviously the house placements also matters!! But yes independtly of anything ALL (I really mean all of them) sagittarius mercuries always want to be right and have the last word even if they know they're obviously wrong

Aries venus in the composite chart is so hot. Like i know it's in detriment but is just really fun and fiery to experience, specially if the house is favourable. Also, a lot of sparks coming out from each other when they're together and a palpable chemistry, everyone ships you two so get together already damn

Aquarius mercuries and their diction that makes them look like they're talking a language from another planet sometimes. Also, they seem like they're always talking weird things all the time, in a good way of course, I love them my babies! Also, they always seem to know random facts about literally everything and they have such a diverse taste for music, movies, ANYTHING. But they can be very misunderstanded sometimes because they're not gonna say what people expect them to say. But anyways aquariuses and sagittariuses always seem to get each other because they have similar tastes.

7H placements are people pleasers to the point where is destructive to themselves, but they can't help it, it's in their nature to do this. They all need a hug right now I love you, please take care of youself more and learn how to impose your boundaries, it's for your own health (a self-criticism)

stay with this dancing lady right here guys bye (me in the next party)

[not-goldy]

God I can't really stand JK anymore.

Everything regarding him went a downhill since 2023. The way he behaved changed a lot.. LIKE A LOT now he's way cockier as if no one in the whole world can top him and he doesn't need to listen to anyone giving even good advises, how he used to present himself and looked changed drastically now he looks like a junkie, how he used to perform changed so much now he doesn't half half the energy or stage presence and doesn't give af about making mistake a ton times while before he used to perform with extreme perfection. He's listening to their PR teams too much like where did I go live when I miss fans went ? Now he's listening to their cheap promo tricks. His work ethics is completely opposite from what BTS was.. he's working with payola king of the whole industry and buying success. Releasing a 100 version and a western collab with some B grade pop artist. The songs he releasing are basically shit now when he used to release magic shop, film out, your eyes tell and still with you kind of gems.

The ONLY thing connecting me to him now is Jimin. There's no way to avoid JK when you are a Jimin stan. But i'm WAITING for the day Jimin finally open his eyes and get out of this toxic relationship so I don't want to put up with him anymore.

You see, your problem is that Jungkook is not Jimin. That's your problem. Half way through your comment, I smiled to myself and I thought well this Anon would certainly love Jimin then if these are the qualities they looking for in an idol. only to get to the end of the Ask to find out you actually do like Jimin💀

That complicates things for me.

Where should I even begin

There's nothing wrong with having a preference. There's nothing wrong with having a bias.

I'm not gonna come for your throat on this.

You prefer Jimin's work ethics and prefer how seriously he takes his public relations, how he puts on effort and that's alright.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HATE JUNGKOOK just because he's not YOUR PREFERENCE.

If you keep that up you and I gon have a problem.

Do I think Jungkook can take a page or two out of the Jimin idol manual? Sure.

As much as I looove seeing Jungkook live his life on his own terms not giving a fuck what anyone cares- some times, in certain areas I do think he could use that self regulation.

Yet on the other hand, I don't find Jimin's over regulation appealing either. I've ever said his kumbaya persona, caring too much what others think, trying to be perfect, self regulated, evolved, controlling his words, his attention, being overly polite, smiling when he should be cussing people out all in the name of his consciousness of the fact he is an idol really REALLY FRUSTRATES ME.

Jimin struggles with this. The never mind tattoos, the song lyrics yearning for freedom, set me free- where do you think that comes from?

I don't know how we can call ourselves stans and not sense some of these things: the members constantly telling him not to care what people would think, to do whatever he wants,- even Jungkook openly reminding him HE IS AN ADULT and shouldn't care about certain things.

Jungkook is good for Jimin and Jimin is good for Jungkook.

Jimin is the leash and restrain Jungkook needs and Jungkook is the freedom Jimin craves.

Please don't come for jikook I'll paint you and it ain't going to be pretty.

Also remember, this is a human being you are talking about. He is not an alien. He is human just like you. That vitriol and animosity towards him is so not necessary.

I can't help you unhate him.

But please, be a good human.

He is a relatively young man navigating overwhelming situations. I personally think going solo has taught him so much and there is much more he'd learn along the way.

And please, it's slander to say he half ass his performance- have you seen his tiktok? THE THIBGS HE CAN DO WITH HIS WAIST- MY GOD!

Oh and did you see Tae's smoke challenge? I may or may not be addicted to the part he wines his waist- lolay lolay lolay

Sorry I had to go and watch that clip again.

Liste, the point I'm making here is, It's his journey and his choice to decide the type of idol he wants to be. You may like it or you may not. That's a you problem. However he's responsible for his own reputation and his own success in the industry and I think he is still learning to hone his values and filter his choices through those values.

Give that man a break .

AND FREE JUNGKOOK.

Peace out

[pebblysand]

Hello hello! So i finished reading ch 22, and i have a lot of thoughts, but one that I kept thinking about, and i don´t know if this was intentional or not, is Robard's character, and how it reminded me of jkr, and her public opinions and persona these last years. How she gradually (and not so gradually, lately) became a transphobic bigot, basically. And i always thought "how did you get there, jk? where you always like this? or you became like this because of the way people harrased you over some tweets?" (i actually don't know, i hadn't read her twitter for years up until today out of curiosity, and... 😬) I kind of felt that with robard's character, i loved that, really. Felt, like most of your story, very realistic. Anyway, i wish you a great weekend full of delicious food, drinks, and whetever you consider fun 🤠

hello! thank you, i'm glad you enjoyed!

this is such an interesting question and one that i've meaning to post about for a long time but have been - i must admit - a bit of a coward about, lately. addressing JKR on tumblr one way or another is always a sure way to get anon death threats in your inbox, an experience that i've had in the past and wasn't keen on repeating. but i think this needs to be said, and it needs to be said publicly.

so, to answer your question, no, this wasn't per se intentional. i didn't set out to have a parallel between robards and JKR, although now that you mention it, i think my thoughts about JKR may have permeated his storyline subconsciously because yes, you're totally correct, there is definitely a parallel there. and, i think your question of: "jo, how did you get there?" is probably one of the most important unaddressed questions of our time.

i've been reading a lot of takes on tumblr lately. metas and purported text analyses that say stuff like: "umbridge is represented as being feminine and having a high-pitched voice, therefore JKR hates women because she thinks femininity is evil" or, "hermione is ugly and therefore JKR hates women because she thinks women have to be ugly to be clever/successful," or "JKR didn't say dumbledore was gay until after the books came out, therefore she is homophobic," etc. and, while i think people are free to disagree with me and i don't want to single anyone out, i think these takes are at best misguided. at worst, a bit dangerous.

misguided because frankly, reading the text and JKR's actions in that way is, imo, demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of history, the publishing industry, artistic creation and symbolism, and overarching themes of the work. it's taking elements of a narrative completely out of context and making them fit into a specific agenda. this idea that: HP is a terrible story, the author is evil, has always been evil, and anyone who still enjoys this work is a bigot. it's an insane take to have when talking about one of the most popular and critically acclaimed coming-of-age saga of the twenty-first century. hermione is a very feminist character. umbridge is also a very feminist character. they are both, of course, subject to the implicit biases of their times and have to be read and studied critically within that framework, but failing to understand the intentions behind their creation shows - again, in my opinion - a very dire lack of media literacy.

having said that, if those takes were just plain wrong, i wouldn't mind them as much - after all, i'm a massive believer in people's right to be wrong. but where i think these takes really pause a problem is that as i've said before, the underlying goal is to prove, by taking things completely out of context, that JKR was "always like this." i personally think that's a terribly dangerous argument to make.

because, the truth is: she wasn't always like this. JKR was a feminist. she was a leftist, a militant. someone who wrote one of the largest odes to love and tolerance and respect that our generation has known. she called to vote labour, advocated for social policies, gave huge amounts of money to incredibly good causes, and was an inspiration and model for thousands of young girls and women worldwide (myself included), both through her own success, and through the strength of the female characters she created. she had her flaws, of course. her belief that motherhood is the ultimate goal is problematic. her urge to take down pornographic fanfiction that involved her works in the early 2000s was unfortunate. but generally speaking, she was not always a bigot. she became one. and that is essential.

i think we too often see JKR as the cause of the problem. and, these days, it's true, to some extent, she is the cause of the problem. she funds abhorrent organisations which tragically seek to undermine trans rights, she uses her twitter platform to spread awfully bigoted ideas and is now slowly falling into antisemitism. but i think what we miss with the above is that she isn't just the cause of the problem, she is also a symptom. just like women who fall into MLMs are both perpetrators of financial abuse to the women in their downline, but also being abused by the system themselves.

JKR is the most famous and tragic example of a trend i've personally seen happen around me time and time again, of formerly left-wing people in her generation and older, slowly falling into conspiracy theories, bigotry and racism. of people who used to be sane moderates (either on the right or the left) now sliding further and further to the right.

i think it is very easy to dismiss these people by saying "they were always racists" or "they were always homophobic/hateful of women" when, in fact, that is not true. were they flawed and were some of their opinions imperfect? sure. but at the core, these people were progressives in their time. but they totally missed the train of modern progressivism. worse, they’re now actively going against it. and by saying they were always like this, we are steering away from studying the real cause of the problem, asking why these people became like this (as you put it: "how did you get there?") and looking for a solution, instead of writing them off as crazies.

i think regarding JKR, we can have conversations about how/why she became like this, although i think a lot of people online are not yet ready to have this conversation. i personally doubt there is a single cause. having read the ink black heart recently, i think two things appear clear to me. 1) she is chronically online to a truly terrifying degree, and this is coming from me, another truly chronically online person. 2) she has reached a level of fame and fortune and isolation that means she is now surrounded by yes-sayers, and is not exposed to much contradiction. i also think it is undeniable that there is a world of difference between the beliefs she expressed in the 2020 essay, which were misguided and potentially harmful, but not hateful, and the current state of her twitter account. as someone who has experienced death threats from trans activists before, i do sympathise with the fact that it’s hard to build empathy with people who yell in your mentions that you should die (in my case, simply for writing HP fanfic). whilst i obviously have managed to maintain empathy and understand that in some ways, this extreme reaction is the unfortunate pendent of the hate trans people and activists themselves receive and the work of a very loud minority, my experience is nothing like the scale of what she experienced. whilst i still think she was slipping into transphobia way before the onslaught of hate she received, i can’t imagine this helped.

but again, i think what is important to understand and realise is that this phenomenon goes beyond internet hate, and goes beyond JKR herself. i always think of my mum's best friend when i think of this. she's eighty-three now but in her day, was a hardcore, bra-burning feminist. she was childfree by choice in a time where that was not an accepted choice, and is one of the strongest, most open-minded people i used to know. yet, a couple years ago, i went to her house on holiday and she explained to me straight up that she'd fired her cleaner for wearing the hijab, saying "i don't want people like that in my house." and, of course, this is abhorrent (and also illegal) but like JKR, like millions of people, she didn't use to be like that. she became like that. and it is fucking dangerous, in my opinion, to pretend like these périple were always these worthless bigots, instead of asking the right questions. "why?" and, also "how can we get them back?"

and, you're right: robards's trajectory in castles is a bit like that. because i think i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and again, because i’ve not expressed these thoughts out loud, they might have influenced my writing. and whilst robards in castles was always a bit more on the conservative side, he was someone who fought in the war. he was someone who fought with harry to open the muggle unit, etc. but somewhere along the way, he took a right turn that, again, millions of people in the real world have taken. and there is such a strong drive, right now, to write these people off. to think they are not worth the light of day, and are completely unsalvageable. and, there is such a strong pressure from a very vocal minority of millennial and gen z liberals to just cut ties with everyone and everything problematic. these injunctions to hate JKR and everything she's ever produced, to get rid of your HP tattoos, to stop writing fanfic, is the same as the injunction people make to stop talking to and cut off your racist relatives. and, if you don't do these things, you're a Bad Person™, a Bad Liberal.

first of all, this is frustrating because this sounds a lot to me like a "holier than thou" mentality that has plagued my catholic upbringing. this air of superiority about who is or isn't more of a sinner drives me nuts, and frankly, i've no interest in living in a "perfect" world of only interacting with the most "pure" individuals and materials amongst us. i find that these people are transposing values of fundamentalist religion into the left-leaning sphere in a way that is deeply grossing me out. i do not need a morality lesson, i certainly do not need to be told how to be a Good Liberal or a Good Feminist.

but i also think that this idea of just dismissing the way older generations are slowly falling into the traps of the far right and of bigotry as "they're just old" and "they should just die out" is also deeply misguided. because, again, this is preventing us from looking at the root cause of the problem. and, who's to guarantee that the disease won't spread further? i find it deeply optimistic and borderline deluded to think that we can just let boomers die out and that Everything Will Be Fine. bigotry and racism are a gangrene that spreads and slowly permeates every layer of society. i would know - i grew up in a region of france that was always far-right leaning, and i've watched that disease spread and spread to other regions, other branches of society, in the past twenty years. and believing that this won't touch younger generations, or permanently change the way we think, is a fallacy. we're seeing it happen in france right now. bardella, the new far right leader, is 28 and is now reaching french gen z on tiktok, and it's fucking working! more and more young people are voting for these candidates. and what's the plan here? are we just going to let them die out or further ostracise them too? write them off as permanently morally corrupt? send them death threats to change their mind like so many people did for JKR and her people?

it would be awfully presumptuous of me to pretend like i have the solution here. i don't. and whilst robards isn’t a character that is important enough for me to give him a redemption storyline, it doesn’t mean we should stop trying in the real world. and, trust me, i know it's hard to continue interacting with these people. as i said, i grew up around them and have struggled with holding back screams all my life. when my mum's best friend said what she said, it took everything i had in me not to just walk out. but we've got to keep trying. we've got to keep loving. i still love her. she's still one of the most important, foundational people in my life. and i still love JKR, in a way. i hate what she's saying, but i still believe a change is possible. or else, we're just giving up on humanity.

[uyuforu]

Hi can u plz do jungkook briede persona chart (Astrology) Thanku.....😇

-> Hello thank you for your request :) Here is Jungkook's Briede Persona Chart Study!

Jungkook's Briede Persona Chart

What is the Briede Persona Chart?

-> The Briede Persona Chart is a chart focused on the spouse you will most likely marry. It is based on an asteroid, here called Briede (19029). If you are interested in women, looking at your Briede Persona Chart is good. If you are interested in a man, look for your Groom Persona Chart (5129). The Briede/ Groom Persona Chart is supposed to make you see your future spouse's personality, who they are. The Briede/ Groom Persona chart is still pretty recent as a way to see who is your future spouse, so it's not 100% accurate but can still help. This post is just a study of JK's Briede Persona Chart, so some elements will be accurate but not complete, as it's not the only tool in astrology to see who you'll marry. Note that it's not the accurate natal chart of jk's future spouse, this just tell us about her personality. -> Side Note: You can still check your Briede/ Groom persona chart for you, to know what kind of Bride/ Groom you'll be :)

Planets & Asteroids Placements

Sun in Cancer 10H, 9°

-> The Sun in the BPC represents her personality & attitude. Here, the sun is in Cancer, making her a soft person. She could appear as quite young, or people could also consider her as "the mommy" of the group. She could be quite close to her mother. Also could be a nostalgic person. Cancer here makes her appear as a very sweet and soft person. She could be also emotional, the cancer is a water sign, so she could be sensible to many things. She could be close to her feminine side, and is loyal to the people she loves. When I say she could be emotional or sensitive, I mean she can cry easily (as for joy or sadness), but she could also be easily moody, her moods could change a lot. Tips for JK: give her food. Trust me. She could be attached to the idea of family & traditions, I'm not sure she is the kind to be into routines stuff, but def when it's about family. Food could be quite important to her, like she could consider food comforting. Def not a picky eater.

-> The fact that the Sun is in the 10H makes her having a successful career. She is made to have some success in this part of her life at some point. It could be in the spotlight or just working hard to achieve her biggest goals. Side note but pretty sure she looks young. Why? The Sun is in Cancer IN the 10H, and the MC is in Gemini, also an indicator of looking young. She could look young or will be constantly treated as "the baby" or "the one we have to protect" at work. Her colleagues could treat her like a baby, or feel like they have to protect her. So this person will literally never have big problems in her career, always got someone to watch her back lmao. She could be very focused on her work or will be at some point, it's literally her destiny. This aspect makes her also pretty successful in whatever she wants to do in her life: work, friends, marrying, personal goals, etc. I'm not sure she is very focused on work tho, I'll explain later... But I think many people admire her or are jealous of her. She gives the image to be a successful person, everything she wants to do always work in her favor. So many people could take her as an example in life.

-> The 9° is in Sagittarius means abundance, expansion, wisdom, college, travelling, to explore, etc. She could have gone to college at some point, or will be! But I think with this placement, that makes her have a lot of wisdom, she could listen a lot to her older relatives' stories, or just get a lot of knowledges from them (since the sun is in cancer). She could also enjoys traveling a lot. I think she is a very open-minded person, the kind of person that is so sweet, they don't wanna judge people, they just wanna get to know them. Also, her family could have taken her to travel since she was young. She could have spent a lot of times traveling, or could have already traveled a lot for her age. Traveled with family, or traveled for her goals. She could also be into spirituality, sagittarius also represents that...

Briede (19029) in Virgo 12H, 5°

-> Briede asteroid is like the sun here, it also part of the representation of her personality. With the Virgo, it can be that she is pretty shy or introvert person. I think she does not have a lot of real friend, she could know a lot of people but real friends are not as big. She just has a close circle that she keeps dearly. She must be kind of a perfectionist on some points, like to enjoy study or researches, not lazy type, she could have a thing for cleaning for exemple, or could read a lot, etc. She could also have a thing for details. She could also be very chill person, who doesn't get angry easily. She def appear as innocent when you see her. People might think she is young and has no life experience, while in real life, she does. She is def very smart, has a lot of knowledges. This is something people can be amazed with when they meet her. She is also someone who is hardworking, she focus hard whenever she works. Working with her mind is important to he (some people are more manual).

-> Because it's in the 12H, I feel like she is highly connected, that she is aware of it or not. What I mean by that, is that she might be very connected to her guides, the divine, angels, etc. Anything in this field might have been around her all her life, that she recognizes it or not. She is protected. So with this ability to be connected to her spiritual side would also come some powers. I think she just is the light of the room when she enters. You notice her. She also is very creative an imaginative. She might daydream a lot, and maybe manifestation could happen often. She may have a difficult relationship with her father, or just feel like she is neglected by him. Not close relationship with him. I think she is quite secretive on the stuff she wants to keep private. She is not the same type as Jungkook like who doesn't wanna share private stuff, it's clearly her deepest secrets. She won't tell a soul. This placement also indicates that she has hidden talents, it could hidden to people, to the world, or even to herself. She could have talents in some field but do not say it until later. Another thing, she could want to live abroad. With the Sun in 9° and this placement, she might be interested in living in a different country than hers. She could feel more popular in foreign lands too. She could think her birth country sucks or that she doesn't see herself living in her birth country. So at some point, she'll live, or maybe already has, abroad. Def a foreigner too lmao. Before, I thought she would be Korean, but there are too many placements that indicate she is a foreigner. She also might have had a very lonely childhood, often playing by herself so created a world for her, or often created little stories. Something too with this placement is that she could fear to face her fears, she might do it very slowly. Anxiety issues. But she is very into helping others. Very humble, kind and generous.

-> The 5° is in Leo, representing attention, fame, life, light, children, creativity, self-expression, entertainment, strength, etc... This degree here could enlighten even more her creative side. She could really have a job now or later as an artist or works with artists because this is just a huge part of her personality and life. She might be well known with the people around her, not necessarily celebrity style, but she just has a good reputation. Fun girl. Someone you have a good time with. Also your sunny girl! Children might love her and she might love children. She could also secretly still hold very close to her her inner child.

Moon in Libra 1H, 1°

-> Moon in the BPC represents the emotional needs for her to feel comfortable. The moon is in Libra, meaning she needs to feel balance in her emotions. This could mean feeling accepted, feeling balanced. She needs to feel like she matters to people, and that they treat her equally as she treats them. For example, she could have imbalance or injustice, if she notices that she gives too much to people but they won't give anything in return, she won't like it and even consider herself not in a good position. It's important for her. She also won't enjoy people who only talk about themselves, selfish and immature people. People who are emotionally unavailable too. She needs people that will care for her, that will help her, she might also wants to feel valid or validated. She needs people that will listen and gives her advices, but that will mostly help her stay positive. She is very nice, caring, and always trying to see the good in people, she needs people like that too. Also she hates conflicts!

-> The Moon is in the 1H, represented by the self, the appearances, the attitude, the first impression, the body, the identity and approach of life. She needs to think of herself. She could be very aware of her emotional needs, and knows that if it doesn't meet her expectations, she could become depressed very easily. Depression could be around the corner anytime she feels hopeless. She might needs balance between her and the world. What I mean by that, is that in order for her to feel happy, she needs to think of her loved ones, help them, be there for them, give them advices and talk about their problems. But! She needs to do that with herself too. She needs to find people that will be there and give them as much. In this placement, she needs to have time for her, and think of her without thinking she is selfish. Some manipulators could have said to her she is selfish for thinking of her too, def not true. She could be very sensitive too.

-> The Moon is in the 1° (Aries), means taking action, fighting spirit, struggles, war, abuse, labor, diligence, leadership, beginning, etc. This is the kind of person that needs to do stuff in order to feel good. If she does nothing, she can tend to feel sad, depressed, lonely. Working, having projects, dreams, or plans drives her. She could also hate routine a lot. There could also be an energy to hate injustice towards abuse, or bullying.

Mercury in Leo 11H, 0°

-> Mercury there represents how she talks, her voice, communication style, what she enjoys talking/ thinking about the most. Here, in Leo, she could often talks or think about have fun, generally speaking. Like partying, having a good night with friends, concerts, any kind of creative activities, she could be very creative person. She could talk a lot of many different kinds of art. She could also enjoys flirting, like the idea of flirting with people might also be part of daydreaming? Just saying though. The way speaks is confident, she may be loud when having fun. She sounds dramatic sometimes when telling stories or jokes, she adds a lot of effects, some people could say to her she is good at acting. Maybe she did theater, or still does! Conversations with people she gets along might often go towards music, movie making/ movies, paintings, arts, writing, and others, could often talk about techniques, theories, etc. She might enjoy flirting innocently with people she gets along well, that they notice or not, also likes people she can tease! If she teases you, she enjoys your company!

-> The Mercury is in the 11H which represents groups, friends, social, social medias, technology, hope, wishes for the future. In this house, it makes her be very close to her friends, or she could think her friends or her social life is pretty important to her. She could communicate mostly with friends, or friends could be the people she talk the most to. Pretty sure she is very active on social media, wouldn't be shocked at this point if she has some kind of fan account lol. She could use social medias very seriously, meaning following a certain aesthetic, or posts a lot and regularly. Also could use it to keep in touch with her hobbies. She could be very aware of what's happening online. She could use technology as a way to have fun, to relax or with her hobbies (ex: plays often video games, watch movies and tv shows, listen to music, writing on laptop, drawing on an iPad, etc.) She could have some internet friends! And talks often to her friends on social medias or with her phone. Also, she might loves to have fun with her friends. What I mean by that, is that she might think she can have the most fun with them, like not with her family, lover, etc. There is a thing to want to have smart conversation here, wanting to talk about many subjects but that will stimulate her mentally. Overall, her dreams and hopes for the future are very important. She might daydream a lot about that, and I told you before she needs to keep her mind positive, if she doesn't have hopes or wishes (I told before projects/ plans), she might be depressed.

-> Not much to see with the 0°. Usually it means there is nothing to add more, or it just means that the signs in the house is very very important.

Venus in Gemini 9H, 7°

-> Venus in gemini! Ahhh... let's go. So, Venus in the BPC represents her loving style. It also represents how she wants to be loved, and what kind of attention she likes. Well, with no surprises, this placement screams compliments. It can be compliments, or just being vocals about your feelings. She could easily say to others how she feels, she may feel the need to. Often says to people she loves "I love you". It can also be that she is very interested in the hobbies of the person she loves, and she expects the same. Her perfect type: smart, funny, talkative. She NEEDS mental stimulation. Someone who has conversations, knowledges, who is smart, enjoys talking about many different subjects, open-minded. Being funny, witty mostly. Someone curious. If the person has no conversation, close-minded, not funny, it won't work out lmao. She needs lightness, open communication, change. Routine also won't work for her. She wants to be surprised still. To be honest, if the relationship is starting to be the same everyday, she'll get bored. It's not that she needs drama, it's mostly that she wants to get to know you little by little, still be surprised by her lover's actions. She is very spontaneous so I guess she would expect the same. She is def the fun girlfriend. Like the kind with you'll always have fun. I'm sure she is way more extroverted than JK, and I feel like he would have so much fun with her. She always have random informations about everything about the most random stuff lol.

-> The Venus is in the 9H (sagittarius), so travel, wisdom, higher education, spirituality, philosophy, learning, cross cultural, religions, ethics. She is very spontaneous, let me tell you. She is not the type to want to plan dates. She could love if her lover surprises her at the end of the day like, he picks her up at work or something, with flowers and tell her he planned a date, and take her to the place she would least expect for a date. But the memories! She wants to feel like she is gaining knowledges through her relationships. She could also have no problems dating foreigners, and she def did. There is an interest in the foreign lands. This placement also makes me feel like she could be a foreigner. Because this is huge like I have no interest in people from my country, and I have a thing for foreigners. And we saw before she could feel like she don't wanna live in her birth country. Anyway, moving on! She might want to date someone older, or most of her partners are older. She wants someone wise, who can teach her thing. Like sharing knowledges is something she enjoys. She might believe in karmic, soulmates, twin flames, any kind of stuff.

-> This placement is in the 7° hehehe... it's ruled by libra, so keywords are fairness, law, business, partnerships, fashion, beauty, charm, luxury, items, music, art, etc. I think she might be into people that take care of themselves, meaning dresses well, take care of their appearance, and someone who is charming. It doesn't mean beautiful or handsome people, it's just mean to take care of them. Someone who dresses well will always attract the eye. Someone who looks expensive (doesn't mean to necessarily wear luxury items). Sometimes, you can wear neutral clothing but looks so good that you have some kind of admiration for them, it's this kind of vibe. Someone artistic too! And someone serious in their job and contracts, but also relationships. This placement can indicate she has a part of romantic vibe. Also, notice this sounds like JK? Hehehe...

Mars in Gemini 10H, 26°

-> Mars represents her ambition, her anger style, how she expresses it, and eventually, sex. For the Gemini Mars, it's very vocal usually. It makes her express herself usually, so when it comes to anger, she might wanna talk about it, shout, or scream. Talking helps her cope with it. You will def know if she is angry, she won't hide it. But it makes her a bit like a manipulator. She knows what she wants, and she knows what to say to get it. So it can be when she is mad, or when she really wants something. It doesn't make her a bad person, this is just how she works. Hate to be bored, happy when busy. I told you before she needs to be constantly entertained. If nothing is moving in her life, she'll have no ambition. She likes to speak when she is angry mostly because it helps her to relief the anger, but also because she wants to understand the real problem. She is good at debating, this is how she sees the situation. It's not easy for others probably because they maybe won't wanna talk right away. Whenever she is interested in someone, she wanna talk to them right away. It can be the same when it's about something. She might wanna make researches as soon as possible. But she could be bored easily, so she might never finish her projects until the end, or it's hard for her to do so. She has good communication skill; knows how to read the room. So it's easy to find the right words for her. But don't get her wrong, she hates conflicts. This is why she prefers talking. She may cry too or be dramatic because of her mercury in Leo lmao.

-> Mars in the 10H (Capricorn), it represents career, long-term, goals, status, reputation, fame, father, men, masculinity, public image. She has a lot of ambition, I tell you, but she is more on the 'I'll make my own career path'. She is not a nepo baby, if you know what I mean. She works hard for what she wants. Working might be important for her, and people around her might say she is always doing good job. She has a lot of goals in life, and works hard for them. She might have a complicated relationship with her father, it might be distant or just complicated. Her reputation is important for her, but people might gossip about her naturally, even if she is not famous. Is cold whenever she argues or when she is mad. She'll want to talk about it, but boy, suddenly she is very distant and cold, you feel the anger. She might appear as more independent, distant or even more manly when she is mad. Meaning she has more authority.

-> The 26° (Taurus) represents money, food, the earth, stability, luxuries, voice, singing, etc. Becomes cold when mad, and maybe if very mad, likes to make the people realize they are nothing and she is worth everything. Possessing materials stuff makes her feel more confident. It drives her ambition to feel luxurious. Having a life where you spend a lot of money, eating expensive things, etc makes her insanely ambitious. Or she could be very drawn to this lifestyle secretly lol. Food can also be a thing when she is mad. Shopping, eating good food, like generally treating herself helps whenever she is sad or mad lol.

Jupiter in Pisces 7H, 27°

-> Jupiter in the BPC represents her luck, her belief, and what is easy for her in life. In Pisces, this means she'll feel the luckiest when she acts with her heart and not her head. She has to use her intuition and trust it!! She'll realize it's usually very right. She could be amazing at manifesting, so she should def learn it very well to manifest whatever she wants. She could very veryyyyy daydreaming about love, and romance. Pisces makes people hopeless romantic. She believes in true love, destiny, spiritual world, angels, hope, etc. To be honest, she has to keep a strong bond with her guides and spiritual world, it's part of her luck. She can be easily guided to where she has to go, and what she has to do if her bond with them is strong enough. Also, she has to detach from the materials. She might be drawn to these, to her ambition, but it's just drive her. She should detach from these to be successful and lucky. It's a bit strange to hear, but she needs to detach from the typical kind of life with a 9-5 kind of job for ex, she has to embrace her intuition to the fullest. So if she feels like doing something not common, it's fine, trust yourself honey! If she finds herself losing hope, losing her beliefs of true love etc, she might attract bad luck.

-> Jupiter in the 7H (Libra), meaning marriage, contracts, life partner, relationships, equality, sharing, etc. I noticed people who have Jupiter in the 7H are super lucky lol. Mostly in relationships. It doesn't mean that she is lucky in finding the one right away, it just mean she attracts a lot of relationships usually. She may feel unlucky in this area because she doesn't attract the "Prince Charming" if you know what I mean, but she is because she won't spend long single from her very first relationship. She is popular to suitors, many people have crushes on her. So, she won't stay single long every time she is. She will experience many relationships. It's not that she can't stand to stay single, it's really that many people have crushes on her, wants to date her, and she is hopeless romantic. Marriage is destiny for her, she'll marry eventually. Of course, it's JK's Briede PC, and so his future wife. But what I mean by that, it's that marriage is an important step in her life. Mostly because people with this placement will be even more lucky after marriage. Marriage is very important to her! She won't accept to skip this step in her life. Marriage also will make her life easier!

-> The 27° (Gemini) is communication, gadgets like TV, phones, self-expression, books, siblings, neighborhood. She might be very close to her siblings, or relationships with siblings is important to her. If she has of course. Once she is settled somewhere, she wants to make sure to have good relationships with her neighbors. Her phone is very important to her, and she might get anxiety if doesn't have it near her hand. Knowledge usually will always help her through her life, all her learning she enjoys will eventually help her one day. She might also be guided through medias, books, etc. Communicating will always help her too. She needs people around her to feel lucky, as they will always provide her a solution. She'll learn to ask for help will always help her. Staying on her own will never work out for her. So calling a friend, communicating with people around her is very good for her luck, and will get her amazing opportunity.

Saturn in Taurus 8H ,1°

-> Saturn represents her fears, insecurities, which area of her life she finds the most difficult. Saturn here is in Taurus, so staying grounded or having a stable life could be difficult to her. She could be very drawn to many things, many different kind of lives, etc. Having everything stable in her life (relationships, work, finances, etc.) at the same time is difficult for her. To be honest, I think it's not that she hates it, but it just happens to be difficult. She might envy people who have a stable life. She might also see stability as a dream, and envy married couple with kids, a house and a dog (biggest cliche ever). This couple might think it's boring while it's literally what she wishes to accomplish. It's just that it's hard for her. Another reason is that she might be drawn to stuff in her life that just can't come with stability. Like she is always easily bored, so even if she might wish for this, she'll be bored so easily. So coming with this, one of her biggest fear in life is routine. She is so scared to be bored, to fall in a routine and to live a boring life.

-> Saturn in 8H (Scorpio) is about sex, intimacy, secrets, finances that are shared (inheritance, partner’s finances, taxes, loans), goals, mysteries, etc. Okay so first, she is def scared of the unknown. Not knowing, mysteries, etc makes her anxious. She could also be afraid of money in general. Like not having money, spending money, etc. It's another thing she is not comfortable with. Accepting changes, endings, beginning, all of these are hard for her too. Intimacy can be scary for her. She could find it hard to keep a stable bank account lmao. She could spend a lot without realizing it.

-> The 1° is ruled by Aries, means taking action, fighting spirit, struggles, war, abuse, labor, diligence, leadership, beginning, etc. She finds it hard to be a leader. She might think she is not enough, not good enough, not enough confident to do so. Standing in the crowd, being seen might be stressful for her. She might give up easily if she sees it's not working well for her. Also, she hates conflicts. Standing up for her is difficult, so arguing is not her best ability.

Chiron in Scorpio 3H, 12°

-> Chiron represents her health physically and mentally. So, please, this is just a theory what I am about to write. So don't come at me. Don't forget everyone is living their own life, and it's never easy. So, Scorpio in Chiron is a wound that is created on the intimate part of the body, or the intimate life. A sort of trauma. It's something related to the genitals. I say this because one of her fear come from the intimacy too. So something happened there. But it's not something easy for her at all, whatever happened created or will create a trauma for her. She could also have been abused when young. Mentally, it can be depression related to mental abuse. In any cases, these are here to help her learn to release the past. She can't control what happened. And she needs to forgive herself.

-> The Chiron here in the 3H (mind, thinking, communication, social activities, siblings, etc.) She can find it difficult to find her voice. Meaning whenever she speaks she feel like nobody listen to her, or whenever she talks, people cut her or someone talks over her. She feels like her voice doesn't matters. She could also been criticized on her way to express herself as kid. She struggles to make herself heard. If she has siblings, she can feel like she is the least favorite. She maybe felt different from other kids, or made fun for being different. And so she may stayed with older people. So could have grown up with an older mind than her age. Like she was more mature than the other kids.

-> The 12° (Pisces) is sleeping, drugs, alcohol, the unconscious, emotional dejections, feet, madness, shadows, unclear, endings, etc. She may struggle with addiction, could be drugs, alcohol, smoking, food, anything that she is addicted to, could even be phone. Or she could be dependent, like on people. She could have suffered from depression younger. Or it can also comeback from time to time. It's like, when times are bad, she can feel like going mad. Like going insane. Also, problems with feet can happen!

Juno (3) in Virgo 1H, 27°

-> Juno will represents her ideal type here. Let's gooooo! So, Juno in Virgo. Man. Pretty sure she consider JK as her ideal type, or will when they meet (if she doesn't know him). She likes smart people, organized, perfectionist, hard working. She could also be into people who are not clingy, the virgo is someone who is independent and do not cling into people and she may like it. She is maybe not into show off, too popular, and friends with everyone type of people. Meaning, someone that let everyone in their life (or having access to them)= turn off. She may have a thing for shy people too. Or like the nerd type! Virgos are very funny too, and she may like the kind of sarcastic funny too. She really hates the dramatic type. She likes chill people. She may have a thing for people that likes her so much they make her fit into their routine. Like they don't forget to call, to text everyday, it's like a routine, it makes her feel special. Also, could love the type of people that notice small details. And remember stuff about her! And mostly, people who communicate when you need to, because they also don't want unless drama.

-> Juno in the 1H (Aries), like the self, the appearances, the attitude, the first impression, the body, the identity and approach of life. She may like people that take care of themselves. Like dressing well, being well mannered, taking care of their skin and body, exercising, etc. I think she likes people that take care of their body like eating well and exercising. She may really like the idea of them falling in love at first sight with her. Or like possessive type. Or the kind of person that will do ANYTHING to be with you. She just wants someone who wanna fight for her, but who doesn't lmao. I think she loves the brain, the smartness, but she also enjoy a good looking body. It's like enjoying an harmony of both. She can't date if she doesn't find the person attractive. People that are similar to her will get closer to her more easily.

-> The 27° (Gemini) is communication, gadgets like TV, phones, self-expression, books, siblings, neighborhood. I think she likes people that are aware of what is going on in the world, also on the Internet, or tea and gossips lol. She might also enjoy people that have humor, conversation, that are open-minded, smart, have a lot of knowledge, or people that like to debate, like someone that will stimulate her mentally. Someone who read a lot too.

Virgo Rising, 12°

-> The rising is the way someone appear, the first impression we get of them, her physical appearance. Virgo rising looks innocent in a way they look like good girls vibe. Like clean girl. She may always look very good, well dressed, almost perfect? There is not a single thing wrong in the outfit because everything is calculated to be well placed. Smells super good, amazing make up, charming, good outfit, etc. She looks younger than that she is. A true angel appearance. Soft face too. You wanna protect her, think she looks so cute. She might appear cold too? Like she looks uninterested in you. If she thinks someone is good looking, or she is having a crush on someone in the room, you'll know because she will ignore them and just act as if she never saw the lmao. She is observant tho. But she looks a bit intimidating in a sense, because she looks cold and distant.

-> The 12° (Pisces), this is really making her look super young. She could look the same even after 10 years. She really doesn't age. She looks super cute I tell you. She looks dreamy, and have big eyes. It's like doe, howl like, very innocent gaze. People may say she has a baby face, and she could have shiny eyes, and people might wonder why she is crying when she is literally not. She may be small with her height too. But really looking like a baby, and super cute. She could have a soft voice too, or like sounds very cute.

Houses

2H - Libra

-> The 2H is the money, and her relationship with it. How her finances are doing usually. So it's Libra, so it means she doesn't have a bad relationship with money on the surface. She may spend a bit too much sometimes, because Libra is a sign that likes shopping and treating themselves a lot, so she may spend money on this. But she may also spend it on other, equality! But the house is empty, so it's literally not her priority to make a lot of money, and to save. Also, the house being empty could mean she struggle with money generally. it goes full, and another day it's empty. She is not stable on this part. She doesn't have a real attach to money. It gives her a true sense of stability, of possibility and it makes her feel balanced. But it's not an obsession. She knows money does not equal happiness. Also, the 2H represents how someone dress up and her voice. She dresses up so well, trust me on this. I think she has a real sense of aesthetic, so everything matches perfectly. She has a true sense of fashion, and loves to dress up and get ready. She loves to look beautiful and charming. And people often tell her compliments on how she looks. She could have a feminine and charming voice, even more if she doesn't know the person she is talking to. She wanna charm people.

3H - Scorpio

-> The 3H is her mind, her intelligence, and relationship with sibling. If she has siblings, the fact that it's in scorpio, they could be very distant or very close. No between. It could also be never talking when they are not seeing each other, and being super close when they see each other. Siblings know a lot of secrets about her. And she knows a lot of secrets about her siblings. She could be a professional stalker lol, because she notices so many things about people, and even online, she could enjoy that. She is very smart I think, either hide it well or it's not the first thing you notice about her? Also if she obsess about something, it has more possibility to work out because she will get so much hard work into it. She has a lot of secrets too, even think she never said to her closest people. She also hides stuff very well. Trust me.

4H - Sagittarius

-> The 4H is the hometown, family, and the part of her people do not see. In Sagittarius, her hometown, birth country is a country where people are from many different culture, countries, religion, people speak a lot of different languages. It could be a "old country", because sagittarius has the characteristic of wisdom, being an old soul. So not the US for ex. It's a country with accessible studies, people make a lot of studies there. And tourism could be important there too? Or she could live in a very touristic place in the country. People travel A LOT in this country. It really gives me the vibe that she is not Korean, because she really is a foreigner in this thing. And we have a lot of signs lmao. Ah also! She could be living in a country where traveling is normalized. Or even her family could totally be into travelling. She could have a very happy childhood, felt free and discovered many things at that time. She could have traveled a lot during her childhood. She got a lot of wisdom too from her childhood, like grew up with older people and so got a lot of wisdom and learned a lot from them. I think people do not see how mature she is. Or how open-minded and spontaneous she is. If you are her parents (mostly mother because it seems like she is not close to her dad), you'll notice these right away. But other people may take so much time to realize that. I think it's because she looks so young, and people tend to look at her like a baby, they don't realize she is an old soul. Also, this house is empty, so family may not be very important to her, or she might not feel like she belongs to her home country. Feel like an outsider.

5H - Capricorn

-> The 5H is her hobbies, talents, her flirting style, etc. So, in this sign, she may enjoy studying? Lol, like working hard on stuff she likes. She is a true hard worker, for sure! Whenever she has free time, it's free times to do something. You'll never see her doing nothing, she is ALWAYS doing something. Always studying something, always working on a project she has. She just doesn't like to sit and do nothing. So I'm pretty sure she'll always be doing many things at the time too lmao. She is talented in stuff she studied for super long. Like if she study this one thing for 10 years, she'll become the boss of it. It's not luck, it's hard work type of talents. So she could be very good at studying, or anything that needs analysis, focus and hard work. She can be very traditional in her hobbies, like to be honest, I don't think she is playing football for ex. She could do stuff women usually do as a hobby. And likes stuff that women likes "usually" (don't come at me pls :( ). I feel like she is not a flirty person, she appear cold. But boy, she'll flirt in her style. She likes that the other do the work at first, but she'll make sure you know she is interested. I feel like she wants to be pursued. So she'll play hard to get. Also she might do some hobbies that her parents or grand parents used to do, the idea of legacy is something for her.

6H - Aquarius

-> It represents work ethic, her health problems, her routine, does she exercises, does she eat healthy etc. Okay. So. Aquarius makes her work ethic or even work in general unique, or unconventional. So if she was working in astrology for ex I wouldn't be surprised (what a coincidence girl). She wants to be free in her work, so work wherever she wants, with whoever she wants, whenever she wants. She wants to be free, and to be her own boss kind of thing. She hates to be controlled by someone else when it comes to work, or even be restricted. She also hates routine so def something where she is free for her ideas. Wants to be able to work 2H a day and the next day work 15H you know? Or during the night or the whole day. Like really whenever she wants. To be honest she has so much spiritual aspects in this chart, if she actually works with it I wouldn't be surprised. She could also help others. Or work with technologies too. People judge it as weird, or just not believing that it's stable. It may create conflict with society like this is not a conventional job, you are not a sheep in the work circle. I don't see a big thing for health problems, but she does the most unique sports ever lol. Not sure she is very into exercising but might be doing sports that you don't think of first when you think of a sport lol. Once again, this house is empty, health is not a priority, and even stable job. She really does what she wants.

7H - Pisces

-> The 7H represents her opinion on marriage, and what type of partner she is. She daydreams about the day she'll marry or about her married life. She has high hope about her future spouse, and might hope for big changed once she is married. She sees her future spouse as her one true love, Prince Charming, so there might have an anxiety about being disappointed. She just very romantic about this idea, so you might guess she has to get married. This is a step she won't skip for nothing. She might be wondering where he is, what is he doing, and who he is. She is very curious about the day she'll meet him, and whenever she meets someone, she might be like "is it him?", something like that. She is very sweet and romantic, and can be seen as clingy sometimes, or too cheesy. Because she wants to give her whole love and heart to her hubby. But with the rest of the chart, I feel like she'll never show off this way in public, only to JK. She also might be very emotional as a wife, and wants to give her everything to her husband. She just sees marriage as a true fairytale, and happy ending! So, her husband has to be her soulmate, her other half. She'll share, devote herself so much, she will expect the same. Once she is married, she def hope to be more than happy with her life. She could also live in a bit of illusion when it comes to it, like expects marriage to solve everything what is wrong with her or her life.

8H - Aries

-> What is taboo to her. How she sees death. Let's talk about that is taboo to her. Inheritance, or fight about it can be a true problem. She won't like it. Mostly because she can be quite stubborn lol. About how she sees death, it might not be very such a taboo topic to her. She just sees it as a natural phase of life. There might still be anxiety of stage endings or going too fast. But she believes in the after life or spiritual realms so she doesn't see this as something sad or sinister.

9H - Taurus

-> Her beliefs, travels, and studies, her career. Very interesting placement. Love to travel. She might not enjoy travels that are too adventurous, like safari, or a messy road trip. But traveling in an airplane, and staying in a hotel, enjoying the food of the locals, taking good pictures, just really enjoy vacations. She wants to live far away from where she belongs, there might be another country she finds "a home" in. She enjoys life as it is. She loves things that are natural, simple, cozy. She believes in a peaceful life. So her career would eventually include a peaceful job. If it's too stressful for her, it won't work out. Working with aesthetic and pretty stuff can work too. She is attracted to what looks good, and has a good esthetic sense. She was hard working in studies, but she might not enjoy studying too long, she wants something chill, and we saw she can get bored pretty easily, so too long studies might bore her fast.

10H - Gemini

-> Her reputation and how she comes off! She might comes off as very talkative, or very smart too. Someone who knows a lot of stuff, spontaneous, and open minded. She might also comes off as someone who is very well cultured and knows many languages. She has a good reputation but some people can tell she likes to gossip. She might enjoys gossips too. But with her chart, it seems like she doesn't like to gossip on people but enjoying hearing gossips, it's possible. She might also have different kind of personalities based on what friend or relatives she is hanging out. She is sociable and extrovert, but i noticed that gemini tend to not talk right away. They stay a bit silent or let the other talk to see how they have to talk or act with you to maker you comfortable, she might be like that. A very fun person, with a good sense of humor. Smiles often. Smile and hair could be something people could notice easily about her, like she might be known for her smile and hair lol.

11H - Cancer

-> Her friends, the kind of people she likes to hang out with, her internet persona, etc. She might consider her friends are her family, her safe place. Friends are important to her, and she might be considered as the mother of the group. She might have a lot of female friends, and likes people that are similar as her, who are nice, soft, people who do not judge. She might eat a lot with her friends, or always meet for a café or at a restaurant lol. Distance don't do things to her friendship, as she has a strong bond with them. She might have a soul or heart connection to her true friends. She might also have the same way to talk as her friends. Or same humor, etc. Friends are very nice, and good people. Trustful people. But fights and arguments between them can happen, cancer is influenced by the moon so emotions run wild. Dramas can happen at times. AND mercury is in this house, making communication very strong in this area. She might talk everyday to her friends, and it might be important for her to have friends, meet people. She can't be friends with people with who she can't have an everyday talk. She might appear as very soft, gentle, and non judgmental on the internet. Like just a soft woman. She might also have a lot of female who admire her on the internet like "fans", if I can say. She appear as very feminine, and likes her instagram to be aesthetic for ex. Always very nice to people she talks on the internet, never will be a hater!

12H - Leo

-> Her secrets, fear, dreams, and desires! Also music tastes, and subconscious. She might secretly wish to be famous? Like being admired, or becoming famous, having eyes on her and be more confident. Like she may daydream about it, what it would be like to be popular. She wants to be admired, and might even desire to get some fame one day. She is very scared to be hate, forgotten. To be left aside. Or that everyone she loves will just hate her or abandon her. She has the desire to be an artist, to express herself through art, to be the center of attention. It might be hard for her to accept that as she might be quite shy if it happens in real life. But she has a lot of fame potential, if it happens (and by being JK's wife pretty sure it'll happen), she will do very good. She is the kind of person you admire a lot. Many people around her could wish they could be like her. She just shines naturally. Her music tastes? She loves to dance! So dancing kind of music, or energy style. I don't think she hates a lot of music, she might enjoy everything.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

[paper-gold-theories]

Villainous Headcanon: Miss Heed Unbearable Personality is like Kitten from Teen Titans

Out of all the cartoon characters, I imagine Miss Heed's personality to be like Kitten from Teen Titans from the "Date With Destiny" episode especially after Chapter 10 of The Risky Heist:

Both Miss Heed and Kitten have a spoilt and unbearable personality, their expressions are somewhat similar see images below), wear pink and have a pink esthetic (I kinda imagine Miss Heed having a pink limo like Kitten) and Miss Heed liking cats having a cat headband while the character's name is Kitten and sometimes pretentiously acts like one.

Her relationship with her father is also something like Kitten and Killer Moth! Mr Kelly. does love her daughter (why wouldn't he help clear her name and get out of rehab if he doesn't) however is an extremely busy with his work making him unable to give much attention to his daughter, causing him to overcompensate by giving her whatever she wants. (Like giving her a credit card without a limit at the age of seven)

This led her to become an extremely selfish, spoilt, and demanding brat, who wants to get everything that she wants without caring how others feel or how much it makes other people suffer to get it.

I kinda imagine her father caving into her unbearable requests as hero and her obsession of getting GoldHeart. (like the clip in the video below.

Miss Heed: If I'm going to be a popular heroine, I NEED a popular hero boyfriend too! AND YOUR GOING TO GET ONE FOR ME!

Mr. Kelly: Now, Cec-Heed, be reasonable! You don't seriously expect me to --

Miss Heed: And I don't want just any popular hero!

Miss Heed: I want the best, most popular, charismatic, coolest, and handsomest hero!

Miss Heed: The one that no other girl can get!

Miss Heed: The one who would drive EVERYONE wild jealously when they see us together!

Miss Heed: I want GOLDHEART!!

(Note: Here are the video sources I got the images and video clip above from (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) I clipped out some highlights as I can't I can't include everything. But you should check it because there're more totally hilarious clips showing Kitten's anger and obnoxious behaviour which I headcanon Miss Heed resembles out of her public persona. 😂)

This is also why he hired an agent at the start for Miss Heed when she wanted to become a hero. So that he can focus even more on his work, have a more bearable medium to deal with his daughter's demanding requests, and is able to deal with his daughter's HORRIBLE TANTRUMS, and personally not deal with the monstrosity his daughter grew up to be as much as possible.

Flug mentions in his journal that she is quick to anger when things don't go her way and for as long as he knows her she wants to be the centre of attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. So I kinda imagine her to be like the scene in the video last 2 clips (above)

If that's the case she must be an utter unbearable NIGHTMARE of a friend and student for Flug and her schoolmates to deal with or just generally everyone around her.

No wonder she needs a perfume to make people like her ( 😂jk/)

This is why I theorised that GoldHeart has been avoiding Heed as much as possible and not interacting with her as much as possible, unless necessary. That's why you don't see him in any of Miss Heed's social media posts despite her crazy obsession. As he does not want to deal with her annoying and unbearable personality, despite the importance of Miss Heed's formula, that she stole from Flug, in his plan to end Villainy. 😂

And probably cringes every time he actually has to interact with her.

Also if he were to ever be forced to go on the date with Heed he would react the same way and have somewhat of the same facial expressions (below) like Robin being forced to go on a date with Kitten, having to deal with her, obsessive, pretentious, annoying and unbearable personality and also (shipper headanon) Flug would be Starfire, the one thst GoldHeart would rather go on a date with.

[yuzuyoon]

Hello,

I have been watching the show.

Overall it's been an enjoyable watch. It just confirms a few things for me that I have always known but it's more noticeable here.

I think the first two episodes were a little more intimate. I have always known JK and JM share a close bond. I mean BTS as a whole do so I expect the closeness.

The show has further reiterated my belief that Jimin has a patience of a saint and can and will get past anything and everything. He is also extremely aware of how people feel around him. For instance in the first two episodes, it's pretty obvious he understands that JK doesn't know how to keep people engaged/entertained unless people are thirsting over his body or if he is drinking and signing songs. No offense but doesn't have the charisma to hold audiences intrigue. Also, honestly he looks so skinny especially in the episode 3 that I was a bit confused what everyone was raving about. He isn't as big as people make him out to be lol. All those comparisons posts of how big JK is and how small JM is so funny to me. There are literally like a few centimeters different between them. Yeah he is a bit more muscular but honestly he looked skinny in the new episode. JM then knows he needs to step in and bring in the chilled and entertainment vibe and he does while dying.

I don't think BTS fans understand how much Jimin brings to the team because they are so busy trying to argue about everything Jimin related and trying to make it look like Jimin is nothing without BTS. Literally, these episodes make it even more obvious to me how instrumental he is to their success. He is entertaining, knows when to step in, when to pull back. Like they are so lucky.

I think I have always thought about this but JK is kinda rude. I don't mean with JM because I think there was a bit of banter going on with them but he was rude to V. JM literally had to tell him off when they were go carting. I get that it could be his humour or him trying to be funny but honestly it came across rude. I don't understand why shippers are using the moment. That's not sassy. That's actually rude and if I was V I would be offended. Luckily JM pulls him back and he changes his tune. Can you imagine if he wasn't there as a buffer? God these solos and shippers are so dumb. Jimin is the one that treats your favorites well lol literally. Also the thing that's been obvious and continues to be obvious is that JM is still the one they both buzz around. He is obviously the one that keeps them both grounded because sometimes neither of them have any sense. Once again I go back to the same thing I mentioned before. They don't know how fucking lucky they are haha.

Overall the episodes were good, a bit chaotic. I don't think JM and JK are estranged like people think neither do I think V and JM are. They still share a close bond it seems. It was nice to see them all.

Watching AYS, it just confirms my bias that JM is a great individual with an amazing sense of humor, incredible people skills and just overall a good guy.

jimin's ability to be so aware and patient is why i love him so much. that's the type of person i need in my life personally, so i'm so drawn to his behavior. watching him on ays really just makes me love and appreciate him more.

jimin appears to look so small at times copmared to other memebrs because of his body proportions. someone can have the exact same height and weight as another person but look either tiny or massive in comparison to them. jimin may be only a few centimeters shorter than jungkook but because he has such slender limbs and narrower features, he looks a lot smaller.

jimin is also literally the perfect entertainer. you have too little (jungkook) and then too much (taehyung) and you have jimin, who is the perfect balance. his persona he has on camera is a lot more natural than the one taehyung uses and it really helps to ease everyone into the episode. it also helps bts shows feel a lot more real and personal. it's like watching a hidden camera show rather than a planned program. also how jimin go more for the entertainment route with shows like run bts instead of trying to win everything like jk does. it provides a good balance for the group

bts was honestly really well crafted personality wise and when you take into account all the members strengths and flaws, they end up balancing out really well. it feels really natural, and you can tell they've all rubbed off on each other to the point where every interaction seems almost perfect for the moment

i think jk has been seeming rude to a lot of us recently is probably because he was babied so much. there's a reason authority hands out consequences for poor behavior and it's to teach whoever that what they did was not okay. jk, having grown up surrounded by people that coddle him, probably did not quite learn these things in the same way. that coupled with his newly inflated ego really put a new perspective on his behavior.

i honestly think that bts are all close in a family sort of way. the way they get jealous of each other but still support one another, the way they joke around, their skinship, the way they will not talk to each other for weeks and then come back and be fine. i'm like that with my siblings and relatives so it really just makes sense for them to be that way

[nalyra-dreaming]

The more crumbs we get from spoilers and previews, the more I think back to your original theory that JK is Marius, and that it is Marius who tampered with Daniel’s memories.

I actually do think it was Armand who tinkered with Louis’ memories though. Obviously he cut the pages from the diary…but…what if… Armand is under Marius’ thumb somehow? As in, Armand made Daniel choose between a human life or a life with him, and Daniel chose a human life, so Marius intervened to wipe Daniel’s memories to ensure knowledge of vampires doesn’t get out among the human population. Armand is bitter that Daniel chose a human life (which explains the ‘thde), but also has his own motivations for getting involved in the interview: to see if he can bring back the memories Marius tampered with and give things one more shot before Daniel’s illness kills him.

And perhaps….Marius is posing as a certain shapeshifting individual to keep tabs on Daniel so the memory wipe stays in tact, and to stay connected to the goings on of the interview more generally. I imagine he doesn’t want Armand and Louis blabbing about too much time Daniel…

Marius posing as Raglan has its advantages. For one, it could ostensibly keep Armand and Louis from reading Daniel’s thoughts and learning that Marius is close by monitoring the situation.It’s also possible the name Raglan James doesn’t mean anything to Louis and Armand at this point, so the anonymity gives Marius some protection.

Thoughts?

Well, book canonically Marius intervenes wrt Armand's loves/fledglings... be it Daniel (for a while), or Sybille or Benji - so I think that is important to keep in mind.

I do think that Armand "tinkered" with Louis' memories, yes, maybe even on invitation ("we made an agreement").

However, I do think that if Marius is involved... then Marius is the one who wiped Daniel's memories, because he got fed up with Armand "playing around". (You know, like Sybille and Benji later)

I do think there is a high possibility that Marius could take on other personas, they all do after all, and we know the show likes to obfuscate our perception on characters.

IF it is Marius disguised as Raglan then that means that a) he has indeed (some kind of) access to the Talamasca or at least knows of some things and b) he does want to check the current status, without interfering too much. Also the mind-reading that you mentioned might be part of that reasoning.

He does check on things from afar in the books as well, be it Armand with the Children of Satan, or just coming by to show his disapproval after Lestat's body switch.

So... all that is totally within the behavior patterns of the books, imho.

But I disagree that he doesn't want Daniel to regain his memories... because the medicine Daniel gets was prepared by Fareed and the "prime minister" Fareed is personal physician to is Marius in the later books. I think the attempt to bring back Daniel's memories is one that a lot of people know about - and IF Marius is disguised as Raglan James then he just wants to check the status, without triggering too many other memories I bet.