#just because it sounds horrible and shocking doesn't mean it's even real!

[coulsonlives]

It is 2024, I am begging y'all to stop immediately clicking reblog on emotional, provoking, fearmongering posts without fact-checking them first.

[pinacoladaz]

Roommate Sukuna shows you how to play video games!

A sly smile appears on your face when Sukuna arrives from college in the evening and slams the door, noticeably tired.

"You look like shit."

He rolls his eyes and drops the backpack, throwing himself on the individual sofa "I'm not in the mood, bastard"

Seeing Sukuna this tired was, well, abnormal, and he had been like this for a couple of weeks. Student exploitation must have been tough on his career these days.

Seeing him in that state moved something inside you, you almost wanted to hug him and cuddle with him to take the stress off of him, but hey, it was Sukuna, he probably thought that a train above him was a better relaxation technique.

You look back at the TV, thoughtful. "Hmm... well, are you in the mood of teaching me your video games?" you take a quick look at him, not wanting to be obvious in your concern, maybe he could bully you if he noticed "you told me i need to know real games, whatever that means it might put you in the mood to be unbearabl-"

"Charming" he corrects you, then processes what you just said and freaks out, making a face "why do you want me to be, anyway?"

"Why not?" you pause the TV and look at him quietly.

"Why, though?"

"Why not?"

His eye twitches and you sigh in a complaint at his murderous gaze "I am bored Su-ku-na!"

With a grunt he stands up, ruffling your hair on the way to his room. "Give me 20 minutes, i'll take a shower and turn on the PC."

Said and done, he called you 37 minutes later, because if there's one thing Sukuna absolutely has, it's a bad ability to estimate time. He doesn't seem to care, though.

When you enter his room it is a bit messy as usual, he has his back to you leaning over the computer, clicking. His hair is wet and he only has pajama pants on, no shirt; and it makes you wonder if he is aware of how shocking his appearance can be to mortals like you.

"Listen pet, you have a maximum of 20 minutes to learn how to play Fortnite, at that time my friends will call to do a group game, and you will play pretending to be me" he stands up straight and turns to look at you "understood?"

You take a moment to process his stupidity, then scoff "With all intent to offend, are you insan-"

"I'll talk, not you, i just want to know how much you can ridicule me" shrugs bending down to the computer again.

After a while of mutual insults, while you stand beside him he shows you how he plays so you have an idea of the game, which looks pretty crazy.

When you sit on the edge of his knees to do the training level, you are not even halfway through it when he takes you by the waist to make you stand up and moves the chair to take a pillow, putting it on his legs. You raise an eyebrow when he comes close to make you sit again.

"You are as low as a goblin." He explains neutrally, bordering on the line of mockery, screaming internally at God for you to know nothing about the barely concealable erection between those pajamas.

You follow the training, and you do horribly, the high sensitivity of the character is lame, the lack of aim and of the ability to make many movements at once is also lame. Sukuna puts his hands on yours trying to facilitate the learning process, which actually distracts you and does the opposite.

"No no, hold it like this" he leans close to your ear, resting his chin on your shoulder "slower... mhm, yeah"

Even if you made the stupidest of achievements, he would still mutter things.

"You learn fast"

You thank God that you are turning your back on him so he doesn't notice your ridiculous blush, and the most fucked up part is that you don't even notice a malicious note in his tone, it's purely teaching.

There you consider the church your mother mentioned.

Before you notice it it's already time for the group call and you're STRESSED with a big S; in contrast Sukuna sounds amused every time he points out an advice to you "It's just a game, brat, have fun"

"I don't know Ryomen, who will be on the call?"

He stays silent for a moment. "Choso, Yuji and i don't know if Gojo has time, why the concern?" he hits you on the head with his finger "Do you like any of them?"

The audacity.

"Isn't Gojo the one you threatened to kill a while ago? And actually- actually what the fuck! Why do you relate everything with me liking someon-"

The conversation is interrupted by the call notification, Sukuna answers by putting two fingers on your mouth so that you shut up.

After a scandalous greeting and a confirmation of Gojo's participation, the game starts, not even three minutes have passed when they are already throwing shit at Sukuna.

"Why are you so useless? you had it literally in front of you??? what the fuck Sukuna" Although Gojo started out mocking, he ended up insulting him (or you lmao) mercilessly.

"Why are you going to the other side? pick up the box, ASSHOLE!" Yuji was getting anxious, and so did you, Sukuna only made excuses saying that the wifi was weak while pinching you, amused, and Choso said nothing for a while, but at some point finally spoke.

"Bro why are you playing like you're gay."

There was a moment of silence which was broken by the screams of Gojo and Yuji, taking advantage of the moment you made a sign to Sukuna that you gave up.

"Be gentle, dickheads" Sukuna murmurs in a mock taking control of the PC, but without taking you off, his arms simply surrounded you "there's a lady present"

a/n: sorry, i'm really bad at video games, i don't know anything about them, i gave it my all🙏🏻

[sometimesraven]

how Empire of Death failed to mimic the scale of Infinity War, and what I would do differently

I'm just ranting here bc I had the thoughts and realised they were gonna go on too long for the tags of a reblog.

So I've already mentioned that the sand of death should have been the cliffhanger. The Sutekh reveal was cool and metal af, but imagine if it had gone on juuust a little longer and the credit theme rolls in just as Kate turns to dust. Imagine how much harder that would hit!

We would sit with that final image for a whole week, letting the shock and excitement build, even if we know they'd never kill both Kate and Rose and this would all be reset, the shock of the scene would still be impactful because we have time for it to truly sink in and hit us fully.

But I think the real reason Infinity War's ending hit harder than this is because we had real stakes. Thanos had been an imposing presence through the whole movie, killing or overpowering beloved and powerful characters we'd grown to see as untouchable.

Those stakes started at the literal beginning of the episode. Loki, a beloved character, is killed. The Hulk, who had literally JUST gone toe to toe with a god, is thrown aside like a toy.

The stakes remained through the story, when Gamorrah is killed, then continue all the way to the end when Vision is sacrificed only for that sacrifice to mean nothing.

Then the snap happens, some of the most beloved characters die in a slow, carefully crafted series of scenes with phenomenal acting.

And then the movie ends. We're left to sit with that for however long it takes for the finale, and even if we know most of the characters will be back it hurts because that emotion and tension and buildup comes to that horrible conclusion and leaves us to sit with it.

I'm not saying Sutekh should have killed anyone to raise the stakes. I'm saying that there was absolutely zero build-up to him within TLoRS itself, and therefore we as viewers don't truly know the stakes. The "He Who Waits" stuff was good to show us "hey, all these other gods are peanuts compared to this one", but that's about all we got.

And it's frustrating because not only has Doctor Who done this kind of high-stakes villain reveal and cliffhanger before in a much more effective way, but also IT WAS RUSSEL WHO DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

I firmly believe the finale should have been in three parts, not two.

I don't know if this is strictly Russel's fault or if Disney's restrictions were partly to blame, but let's look at how the Series 3 (2007) finale did what the Season 1 (2024) finale tried and failed to do.

Part One

Utopia plays out much like The Legend of Ruby Sunday does: they're exploring something self-contained but eventually related to the plot (end of the universe vs ruby's mother), they meet an enigmatic stranger who will later turn out to be the villain/part of the villain (Yana vs Triad), and the episode ends with the cliffhanger of them realising there's actually a Big Bad from the past that nobody was expecting (The Master vs Sutekh).

I think in the case of a 3 part episode I would have TLoRS end with Sutekh being revealed in a way that doesn't have him at his full power yet. I'm not sure exactly how I'd execute that but it would have the same impact w. Harbinger and Susan, only without Sutekh's full manifestation at the end; maybe he appears on the screens or in that smoky form around the TARDIS. Hell, maybe he would fully manifest but just be unable to dust the universe yet. I'd maybe even have him kill Kate and Unit there but not the world, to establish how powerful this guy is. I'd maybe have Ruby be with Mel instead of the Doctor, so that she's away from this initial death wave.

Part Two

The Sound of Drums then spends time establishing who the Master is for new viewers, and the kind of relationship he has with the Doctor. The stakes slowly build, any potential help is removed, and the Doctor's final plan is foiled, leaving him captured and powerless as the Master initiates the apocalypse.

Perhaps if instead of being with Susan, the Doctor tries to take back control of the TARDIS and ends up trapped with Sutekh controlling her?

Maybe they figure out how since Wild Blue Yonder, the TARDIS has specifically been taking them to places that would empower Sutekh with more death and chaos, rather than just where the Doctor needs to be -- the Maestro, Finetime, even Boom... all that death and chaos empowering Sutekh to finally take his god-form due to the invocation of superstition making his myth reality.

Maybe at this point it would show that the deaths in Unit were just the beginning -- that through those deaths Sutekh was able to reach back to the entire family line of each member he killed: Donna + family, even Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart had been killed before his time. This would establish in the Doctor some guilt that actually makes sense -- he didn't have to turn to Unit for help with Susan and Ruby's mother, but he did, and he didn't notice something was wrong with the TARDIS even though he'd been aware of her odd behaviour of late. He unwittingly brought Sutekh to UNIT and caused their deaths, sending that final ripple of chaos and death that allows Sutekh to take his final form. And now that he's gained enough power, he can coerce the TARDIS in giving her memory to him; of everywhere she's ever landed, past present and future.

The Doctor is forced to watch from the posessed TARDIS as first the Earth, then the Universe, is slowly destroyed, believing everything to be dead, including Ruby and Mel.

Part Three

In Last of the Time Lords, we focus on the Doctor's companions gathering hope and saving the world while the Doctor is helpless.

Unbeknownst to the Doctor, Ruby and Mel have made it back to UNIT. Maybe one of them remember how vivid the TARDIS seemed in the memory room and, in a last-ditch attempt to escape, try to enter it -- discovering the Memory TARDIS within.

This is why I have Ruby and Mel still reach the Memory TARDIS. Much like the companions do on their own in the Tales of the TARDIS clips I've seen, they realise this is a TARDIS made of memories and wonder if they can use that somehow. Ruby realises, as it begins to snow and the screens inside the ship turn on, that her strange memory power is keeping the TARDIS functional, and it shows them through the screens how to fly it.

Mel suggests this all seems to connect back to Ruby somehow, and the memory TARDIS responds positively. They start to go back through Ruby's memories in summary, trying to figure out what they're missing, and realise as her memories flick through on the screen -- one of them is unfamiliar. The Roger Ap Gwilliam realisation happens as normal, they go to find the medical record of Ruby's mum, Mel is fighting posession and decides to take HERSELF out of the room to "keep watch", knowing she won't be able to fight off Sutekh for long. Just as Ruby is about to find the name, she glances back at a noise behind her -- only to see Mel approaching her.

She just barely manages to grab the still-processing screen and escape, but now she's all alone and the screen has nothing to connect to. She never got her mother's name, but the records are still on there waiting to be processed. She realises Sutekh needs the records that are here, and that if Mel reaches her and gets the memory screen from her, she might get her mother's name and give it to him. She realises her only choice is to destroy the only records of her mother she has and accept she may never find her birth mother.

We have a tender moment of her with her face buried in her knees, crying amid the dust, she's all alone and she doesn't understand anything and she was so close but everything is ruined, it's like she's cursed -- she remembers her friends questioning her bad luck, wonders if maybe it was her all along and never the goblins. She wonders if the Doctor is alive, mourns that she can't turn to him, curses him for never finding out who her mum was sooner so they could avoid all of this, begs him to come back so he can tell her what to do because she has no idea who she is without someone to guide her.

Then remembers Carla. Maybe a flashback to something Carla said to her when she was younger; some motivational line about how she's not alone, she never has been; she's got a family even if it's not the one she expected. It doesn't matter where she comes from. It doesn't matter who her birth parents are. She has a real family to save, and that includes The Doctor. She pushes to her feet, still holding the screen, and returns to the memory TARDIS alone.

Meanwhile, the Doctor is being taunted by Sutekh. His only home; his safe place has been turned into a trap of torment and even as he tries desperately to gain some kind of control over her, Sutekh recites the losses and deaths the Doctor has caused. While he shows on the TARDIS screens all the places the sands of death have touched so far, he brings up Gallifrey, and the Flux, how Sutekh prides himself on being a god of Death but honestly he could never dream up something as destructive as the Doctor.

Just as the Doctor is about to give up, he sees Ruby, defiantly approaching Sutekh in the remains of UNIT's headquarters. His eyes gleam as he looks up to the bright red glow of his posessed ship's console, relief painted all over his face.

"I'm nothing like you," he says, even as he watches Ruby intensely; as worried as he is excited, "You exist to bring death and destruction and decay to this universe, but that's not me. Death and loss have followed me a long, long way but if there's one thing I have that you don't, it's hope."

Outside, Ruby is shouting and brandishing the memory screen. "Oi! You great big god of nothing! Is this what you want?"

She smashes it. Tough, she says. Sutekh roars and tears stream down her face. She's visibly terrified, but she stands tall.

"I was so confused," she tells him, "I kept thinking: why me? What's this got to do with me? But I think-.. I-I think I know why you're so interested in my mum. I think I know why I'm still alive."

She delivers a speech about what she's seen and learned from the Doctor: what survives of us is love. She realises that Sutekh is so interested in her mum because the one thing she feels deep in her gut is that her birth mother loves her, and the one thing he can't understand is love surviving despite grief. Ruby loves her mother despite never knowing her, Ruby loves her adopted family, Ruby loves the Doctor, and love is survival and love is life.

It starts to snow as she remembers everything she possibly can; every little gesture from people she loved and lost, every story she made up about her mum, every time Carla has been there for her, every time her friends have ditched parties to come stay with her overnight because she's staying in a hotel somewhere and she's scared to be alone. Sutekh roars and is clearly weakening but it's not quite enough, and the Doctor finally manages to break free of the TARDIS as Sutekh's hold on her weakens. He reaches for Ruby, cradles her in his arms as she runs to him, kisses her on the head and tells her how brave she is and how proud he is, then pulls her to the TARDIS console.

The ship immediately takes off, trying to shake off Sutekh while Sutekh tries to shake Ruby and the Doctor out of her. They're careening through the vortex, TARDIS doors stuck wide open, and the Doctor quickly slips a Mavity glove onto Ruby's hand, yanks off a panel of the TARDIS, and presses her hand to the psychic membrane underneath. He tells her to hold on for dear life and remember everything. The TARDIS amplifies her memories, feeds that love and life straight into Sutekh, and the Doctor gives one last speech about how humanity survives over and over despite their mortality, how human love is life, how Ruby is life. As Sutekh begins to break apart, we see people start to return from the dust.

As the story comes to a close, the Doctor apologises to Ruby. He suggests that maybe they could go forward and find that DNA result again, but Ruby declines. She says it's not fair to use something that was taken from her mum against her will as a tool to find her. She accepts that she might never find out who her birth mum is, but that's okay -- because she's realised her real family have been with her all along. The abandonment will never leave her, but after losing the whole world the only thing she wants right now is to see Carla again.

They part ways with Ruby cautioning the Doctor that maybe he should go find Susan some day. She must be feeling pretty abandoned too. And the episode ends basically the same way, only with Ruby making peace not knowing who her mum is -- meaning the mystery is left open for now in a more satisfying way.

I dunno. This got away from me a lil. I just think there's so many places this story could have been taken and it missed the mark in so many ways.

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey love! So, I know you already have the proposal au, but I was wondering if you could do an arranged marriage au. And basically, Gilgamesh is in the mafia and Thena's horrible abusive father (Arishem) steals money or drugs from him that Thena doesn't know anything about. And Gilgamesh and his men just show up to her home while Thena's not there and when she comes back she finds out that she's being forced to marry Gilgamesh (which she's not that mad about bc Gil is fine asf🤭). But Thena is basically just shocked and she has to get used to being treated how she should and with princess treatment (like opening her door, giving her gifts just because, etc) Maybe a little age gap like Thena's in her early 20s, Gil is in his Early 30s👀. Also maybe like Gil gives her princess treatment but disrespectful in bed vibes😜.

But anyways I love you and your whole existence and when I found your Tumblr acc it quite literally the happiest day of my life and I literally would kill for you. You're my whole world I live for all your posts and sit waiting everyday for you to post. You are the best thing that happened to me and I'm so grateful you're alive. I love you so much!😘❤️

"Thena?"

She startled, but a warm yet gentle hand touched her shoulder, "hey, it's okay. It's me--I'm sorry to startle you."

She looked around her. She wasn't at home--well, she was. She was no longer in her father's home, where falling asleep out in the open could lead to her getting her hair pulled if he was feeling particularly inebriated and particularly mean spirited.

She was home, in her home with Gilgamesh. It was a massive, modern and sprawling house. She had her own room, despite sharing the house with her husband. It had its own walk-in closet and full bathroom suite. He had installed a library having found out that she liked to read (that was all the incentive he needed, apparently). The only thing her room didn't have was a kitchen, and Gilgamesh did all the cooking anyway.

The first two weeks, when she wouldn't emerge from her room at all, he would leave trays out for her to take inside where she felt safe.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, speaking softly and moving so she could see him, showing her his hands. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. I wanted to see if you were hungry, or if you wanted to move into your room."

A gangster for a husband, and he made sure her room was always open for her, that only she was allowed in it, unless there was any house keeping she wanted done. He had even hired a female cleaner, specifically in hopes of making her feel more comfortable.

"Thank you," she smiled at him, hoping to assuage his fears of scaring her. She let the book on her lap fall closed and curled her legs up under the blanket thrown over her. "Sorry, dozed off between chapters."

"You don't have to apologise," he assured her, moving slowly as he took a seat on the sofa. He wasn't at the far end of it, but it was more than enough space for her to feel separate from him. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Are you okay? You seemed to be having a bad dream."

She was. Even removed as she was from that place, sometimes she would think was waking in her room, her desperate attempts to start a real career crammed into the corner of her room where her father wouldn't know to go digging for money.

The crinkle of her clothes in plastic bags so that he couldn't get them all wreaking of alcohol before a job interview. The way she would walk on the balls of her feet so as not to wake him when he was passed out on the couch in the middle of the day. The fear that every knock on the door would be another debt collector.

"Hey," Gilgamesh said as softly as he could again, "what do you need?"

If she hadn't woken from such a terrible dream she might swoon. It was almost a shame their relationship was one of contract. Gilgamesh was very good at seeming romantic.

She inhaled, putting on a braver face. "Some food sounds good."

"Okay," he nodded. His hand hovered, as if he would pat her knee under her blanket. But he stood instead, pulling himself away from her. "I can do that."

Thena stood, nearly slipping on the stairs of the elevated seating area to follow him into the kitchen. "Do you need any help?"

He did let his surprise show on his face, and instances like these she was reminded of the menacing - as well as cocky - gangster who had first appeared in her home and informed her of their marriage. "Setting a fire?--no, sweetheart, thank you."

She huffed, and she even managed to get a chuckle out of him. Laughing suited him more. "You must have had a hard day."

He immediately looked at her, trying to tell how any clue of how his work had gone could have slipped through the cracks. He worked very hard to keep all aspects of his business out of their home life.

She leaned against the spotless granite island/sink. "You seem more tense than usual."

He didn't rise to her bait, focusing on putting together a meal for her--for them.

But she was in the mood to poke the bear, as it were--the big grizzly teddybear in the pinstripe suit. "I figured I would get a 'no need, princess', at least."

He shook his head at her, pulling out a clay pot and retrieving the ingredients necessary. For a man living outside the law, he really was a great cook. "No need for a house fire--that's true."

"I am not that bad," she insisted, rising to her own bait if need be.

Gil - not Gilgamesh but Gil - finally looked at her with a little more mirth. He even chuckled, "Need I remind you of the eggs?"

She rolled her eyes at him. He had this big, beautiful kitchen, and she was home alone all the time. And sometimes she didn't want to wait for delivery to make it all the way to the house (and past security) while Gil was at work. She had figured making herself some eggs couldn't possibly go wrong.

"The hob at our-" she paused and moved on like it was nothing- "at my old place would take ages to heat up. I could never have known that this monstrosity can boil water in under a minute."

Gil glanced towards his very fancy oven on the other counter and then back to her. "Who turns the heat up all the way to make eggs in a pan?"

She shrugged, "they cook faster."

Gil let out a real laugh now, finally relaxing some as he finally started preparing the veggies. She could tell he was enjoying it when he slid them onto an angle to slice them. If it were strictly business he would cut them into little cubes instead. He shook his head. "I told you not to lift a finger while you're here."

That was true. After the fire had been put out, her housekeeping companion had insisted she simply ask if she wanted a meal. It was part of her requirements for the job and everything! Which was a little insulting, no matter how aware of her own cooking habits Thena was.

"I thought men wanted a wife who would cook for them as soon as they got home."

But Gil didn't latch onto her joke. He put down his knife, slowly and gently. He dried his hands on the hand towel below. Then he moved towards her, holding his hands out and asking for hers.

She watched as he did, curious enough to give her hands over to him. He held them so gently, even as he brought them up to his lips to kiss the back of each. She shivered.

He opened his eyes, peering down at her as he stroked her hand with his thumb. "Those aren't men. And you are not just 'a wife', Thena."

Did he want her to fall in love with him or not? The times when he was at work, and then completely secretive about it at home really seemed that he didn't. It seemed that he was upholding his end of the agreement with her father, and his vow to respect her and not to allow any harm to come to her.

But then other times he would say things like this, and she wouldn't know what to think.

She blushed as he left one last kiss on the tip of her finger. Then he was back to chopping, as if he hadn't nearly swept her off her feet (metaphorically speaking).

"Why don't you go sit down, sweetie? I'll come up and join you once this is on the heat." Back to that respectful distance.

She pursed her lips, moving away from the kitchen island as he started rinsing the rice and mixing sauces. That was just like Gilgamesh, to say something so breathtaking and sweet one moment and be a husband in name only the next.

She glanced at her book, although she couldn't even remember what she was reading in it before she had dozed off. Throwing herself back on the couch did seem to catch his attention somewhat; she could tell by the tilt of his head only vaguely in her direction. She also pulled the blanket over her again, with a little more force than the light cashmere needed.

If he only wanted to be half a husband then fine, but he didn't have to be a full time flirt to do it.

She peeked up from her phone as Gilgamesh walked up the three small steps to join her. He had a bad knee but wouldn't admit to it, maybe that was adding to the pressure of his day today.

"Okay," he groaned as he too threw himself onto the couch. He looked over at her, at her safe and respectful distance. "So?"

"So?" she asked in return, bristling at the grin on his face. It suited him a little too much.

He nodded, as if he had been thinking something to himself and had the affirmation he needed. She didn't know what he thought he knew, but she almost didn't want to. He leaned back on the couch, relaxing his posture. This was how a gangster would sit, she imagined. "Well."

"Well?" she prompted him again. But all he did was lazily wave his hand at her. She raised her shoulders, "you want me to...?"

He shrugged, even turning his head away from her. "If you want, I mean. You seem like you want the company."

He was calling her out on her wanting his attention, he meant. And he was right, but she didn't appreciate it. She turned her nose up at it.

"If you wanna sit in my lap, you can say so."

She shivered again, turning and half expecting him to be nose to nose with her. But whens he did look, he was back to pretending like he was halfheartedly watching something on the obscenely large tv mounted on the wall.

To his credit, he didn't say anything as she quietly shifted her position. She didn't tuck herself into his embrace or anything. They weren't actually married.

Gil lowered his arm from the back of the couch to her shoulder, letting her lean partially on him but not so close that she would feel trapped. "Put on that show you like."

"The one that puts you to sleep?" she smirked, even as she picked up the remote.

"It does not put me to sleep."

"It does," she corrected him, and it was moments like these when the marriage did feel less like a business agreement and more like...well, like something. "What about the food?"

"It has a timer, just take it off the heat when it's done."

It was he who was on the verge of nodding off, now. He really had endured a truly terrible day to be so exhausted. And she wouldn't be the one waking him.

She did put on her show, a historical drama she liked. And he really did nod off, the clay pot dinner simmering in the background silently. And only because he was dead asleep did she take the liberty of tucking herself against his chest. Just this once.

[safeashousespdf]

*whispers* Tell me your EddieTaylor thoughts...

*whispers* shhhhh don't let them hear us...

(THIS IS ALL A LIGHTHEARTED JOKE NONE OF IT IS REAL TAYLOR KELLY CAN'T HURT YOU. this is just a crackship. stay safe y'all.)

It's not that Eddie isn't happy for Buck. He loves Tommy, and he loves them together. Still, he can't help but feel (selfishly) like this couldn't have come at a worse time. These days, Buck's all aglow. He's got that new relationship buzz— when he isn't with Tommy, he's texting Tommy, or wearing that dopey Tommy Smile. Eddie's glad to see him so smitten, but his absence lately has only made Eddie's house feel that much more empty. The Chris-shaped hole in his life came as a matching set, with a similar hole filling Buck's usual seat on his sofa. Eddie can hardly bear going home to his empty house after work. He's been spending more time than usual lately skulking around their usual badge-and-ladder bar, nursing his heartbreak.

He runs into Taylor one night by pure coincidence. She's always had a way of grinding at him, even before she was dating Buck. But the company is nice. They get catching up, exchanging grievances and gossiping about Buck's love life. Eddie never noticed it before, but he and Taylor have the same sense of humor: wry and cutting, sarcastic in a way that might sound mean-spirited to the wrong person. He knows he's meant to hate her, and he does. He knows she's not a good person— but really, is he any better? Lately it seems like everything Eddie touches falls apart. And he's so tired of wallowing. Maybe, just once, he can let himself be selfish.

Okay, twice. Except now he's calling her after his shift, and she's staying the night after they fuck. He gets out of the shower and there she is, in his bed, wearing an old t-shirt she pulled out of Eddie's dresser. (Does she know that one's actually Buck's?) Eddie knows that it's wrong— and only gets more wrong the longer they sneak around behind Buck's back. And maybe she's horrible, but Eddie might just be horrible too. How else can he explain how good it feels? Not just the sex, but Taylor. He's so used to nice, pious girls like Ana and Marisol. But Taylor isn't afraid of putting Eddie in his place. She's arrogant and difficult, and things with her burn hot in a way Eddie hasn't felt since Shannon. Every time Eddie thinks he's ready to give her up for good, she finds a way to draw him back in.

The team all think he's lost it for good this time, and maybe he has. Even Bobby, who's always been happy to give out second (and third) chances, worries about what this is going to do to Buck. What no one expects is for him to be so calm when he finds out. Honestly, it's a little suspicious. Sure, he's hurt at first, but he tells Eddie with a tearful smile that he deserves to be happy. And maybe Eddie takes the win too willingly, maybe he chooses to ignore the way Buck's smile doesn't reach his eyes or the way his shoulders sag. Because it's them, right? When has a girl ever come between them? And besides— Buck has Tommy.

No one is more shocked than Eddie at how well this is working. He keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it just... doesn't. Taylor plays nice on double dates with Buck and Tommy, keeping her jabs lighthearted. Tommy thinks she's hilarious. Taylor comes to barbecues with the 118 and does her best to make amends— she's done trolling for stories, thanks to the success of her book. It really is an awful feeling, she says, to get everything you've ever wanted, all the success in the world, and realize just how many people you screwed over to get it. She even tries to sit down with Buck, but it's hard to get a read on him these days. Taylor thinks she may have loved him once, but she never really respected him. He's all fluff, not like Eddie. So, really, it's better this way. She admits, a little ruefully, that she still wears the bracelet he got her sometimes. At least his taste wasn't awful.

Everything comes to a head during a shift, when the 118 arrives at the scene of a collapsed building, and Buck gets a strange notification on his phone: a GPS ping from Taylor's bracelet, coming from underneath the rubble. Eddie thinks of Shannon in that intersection, and how he couldn't save her. He's spent so long just letting things happen to him, dragging himself from one day to the next. But Taylor, and the rush Eddie gets when he's with her— Eddie chose that, and he's not going to let her go without a fight. But he can't save her without Buck's help.

For so long, Buck's tied himself in knots wondering why he wasn't enough for Taylor, how she could hurt him so easily. But now, watching Eddie stroke her bloody hair in the back of the ambulance, he thinks he understands, or at least is ready to accept it. Maybe this is just how the universe meant for things to happen. And who is he to complain? Buck has Tommy, now. However Taylor hurt him is irrelevant, when he gets to go home to someone who loves him the way he needs to be loved. And if Eddie feels with Taylor even a fraction as good as Buck feels with Tommy, then it'll all be worth it.

And you know what? Eddie does. And it is.

this whole idea started as a joke but, after however many words this is, i don't know if i can call it a joke. eddie's spent so long doing what he thinks he has to do (as a father, as a man) i honestly just want to see him do something selfish. i want to see eddie follow his heart (and his dick) instead of his gut, and to really put himself at risk of being hurt in a way he hasn't with any of his recent girlfriends.

and of course, there's the buck of it all. the first thing eddie and taylor have in common is buck, and he hangs over their relationship in a way that eddie probably would not like to examine too closely. buck's always going to be the elephant in every room, as far as eddie's narrative is concerned. this is that cranked up to eleven. is he doing it to feel close to buck? is he doing it to spite him? is he trying to chase buck away or draw him in? i don't know. i don't think eddie knows.

(ending this post with another reminder that none of this is real or has any bearing on the real world. resist the urge to reply with an essay about why this would never happen and eddie would never do this to buck. i know it would never happen. this is pure crack.)

[justice4sasuke]

Character Roundups Round 12: Tobirama Senju

Shock and awe, Tobirama gets the treatment most of the characters in Naruto get from me. I don't have a problem with his character, I have a problem with the framing.

I probably could have done with more actually seeing Uchiha and Senju members killing each other so we better understood why everyone was so stuck in their ways besides Hashirama and (kinda) Madara because otherwise it's like why can't everyone be chill about it and try to change like they did? Like I've said the founders era flashback could have been a hundred chapters long and got really into the nitty gritty of it and I would have lived.

But that's so we can understand Tobirama's character better, other than that the character does his job. He doesn't get over his Uchiha bias, is a weird eugenicist over it, it causes a shit ton of problems, horrible things come from it, the entire Uchiha clan is wiped out which he probably did not intend but that's what his actions led to. What? Am I going to be mad a character is effective in their role? No. It's a story. Also Madara and Tobirama have a "the girls are fightinggggg" Real Housewives of Konoha vibe in the flashback and I think that's an amusing dynamic.

The problem is OF COURSE the framing. Fucking Orochimaru calls out one specific thing Tobirama did wrong and the narrative is still like "well, it still got to that point so I guess the Uchiha deserve to die." All of his eugenics sounding bullshit is just brushed off as "oh, Tobirama you scoundrel" rather than a real concern. Also according to the narrative Tobirama's theories are correct so fuck realistic and compelling storytelling I guess. That's the problem here. Not Tobirama's character, but the framing of him.

It's funny to me that fans get mad when you don't take what Kishimoto tries to feed you at face value and point out that Tobirama is wrong because really despite the fact that I think he sucks I want better for Tobirama's character really. It's vaguely there during the war arc (I'm not sure to what end because Kishimoto), but what if we really emphasized Tobirama working with Sasuke during the war arc? What if he saw this kid not putting the village first like he wanted, but he's still putting the sake of the world first and that means something? I'm not saying this like Tobirama needed a redemption arc because that's not what a redemption arc is, just that what if we added some layers? What about even if you can't do shit about it maybe you can start to wonder if perhaps you were wrong about a group of people? What about more understanding about the distrust between the Uchiha and Senju clans, what about reckoning with the fact that Tobirama was saying and doing some shady shit, what about that despite the fact that he's weird about the Uchiha clan it was inadvertent that he spread his bias against the Uchiha clan to his students and set the clan up for failure. He had an Uchiha for a student what about pointing out how having this one student you think is "one of the good ones" doesn't preclude you from having bias against a group? Isn't that more interesting? Wouldn't that make the character and story richer? That's what I think anyway and I want that for this manga because there's some good stuff there. I wouldn't bother talking about it so much otherwise.

[sophsun1]

Hi Soph, i have a tiny question. I saw on your Gale gifset your tags about how some of the things that happened to him were horrible and you get why he shied away from the public. And while I did watch the interview and was shocked about the date story and I heard that people were talking a lot about his sexuality and his relationship with Randy. I was wondering what did you mean by that tag because it sounds like a lot more happened to him(maybe even Randy). Sorry if this is a bother but I was just curious :)

Hey anon!

I mean to be honest isn't that enough to qualify as horrific?

Getting sexually harassed whilst you're out in public minding your own business, friends, partners, family getting affected by it. Strangers not being able to differentiate between a real life human and his job as an actor, as Gale said he didn't write the show so yelling your abuse at him is pointless. He doesn't care if people think he was a shit actor that's fine, but no need to take it out on him.

Plus the incredibly offensive and invasive speculation into his sexuality and friendship with his co-star which made it impossible for them to even interact without crazies announcing they were in love. Even when they did attend fan events, the questions they would get asked were mortifying and these were by grown adults half the time. Not to mention the behind the scenes of the show, which wasn't the most pleasant for Randy.

[luminarot]

@cora2ons said: “ Nonono, don’t come any closer. ”

Consciousness slams back into Wesley like a souped-up Chevy going thirty miles over the speed limit — which makes sense, because that's exactly how the life was knocked out of him. He can feel it, the broken bones that have his limbs bent at awkward angles, the blood that's pooled beneath him and clotted in his throat, his death rattle echoing off the cold brick buildings in a hollow rasp that only makes him feel more sick. Or maybe that’s the flies still buzzing around him, feeding off the rot; do they know how wrong he is, too?

Sitting upright is a clumsy process hindered by muscles still locked in a state of rigor mortis, but he does it anyway, fighting with his foreign body until it finally heaves him forward. Breath panting, he stops, snapping his spine back into place with a gurgling yelp; only then can he scrub the grime from milky eyes, blinking up at a sight he's both relieved and horrified to behold: the faded front of an old-fashioned diner.

( How long has he been dead this time? )

For a moment, all Wesley can do is stare. He barely remembers making the call now, but he knows whatever he had to say must have been really important if he decided to bother Cora. Most things, as he'd told her before, can be dealt with on his own; even, and maybe especially, his death. He doesn't want to think about what might happen if anyone else witnessed the truth of him, if they saw the mockery of life that twists his bones, never staying in one place for fear that someone might smell the rot on him.

But now it seems like he doesn't have a choice.

Shuffling sounds from further down the alley, and he only twists slightly — stumbling on a mangled joint, ribs seizing, heart shuddering with the shock of being alive — before a trembling voice stops him in his tracks. Familiar, and so frightened, but firm in its assertion: stay away.

She's probably right to say it. He knows the sight he makes, covered in gore and starting to tremble, with his breath caught up in a horrible gurgling rasp; a similar ghoulish vision had shattered the mirror in his family home, leaving him to be sick over every fractured reflection that dared to tell him the truth. He still dreams about it sometimes: the glass sticking in chunks to mottled grey flesh that hung from his bones, and the black ichor splattering over white tile, never-ending. It's all he can ever really see, when he looks at himself.

But Cora wasn't prepared for any of this. She probably doesn't even know it's him, whatever the fuck that means, and here he is like a revenant at her door. ( He should've never called her. Hasn't he learned by now that he's just meant to be alone? )

"Okay," Wesley mumbles, after a beat of internal agonies. He tries not to grimace at just how much the words slur over sharpened teeth that never fit his mouth, pushing through even as he feels them start to crumble. "I won't." He takes a stumbling step backward for good measure, swearing softly at the creak of shifting bones; it's a warning, he knows. It's only going to get worse from here. "You should go," he tells her. "I still can't move real well. So you have time." A pause, and then he adds, "Sorry. Didn't mean for you to be here for this."

[strangerthings4theories]

Idk how canon "Runaway Max" is considered, but there's this one bit where Billy says Neil isn't his real father and that's such important information about him, honestly so unecessary for the plot of the book and out of the blue that its just wierd. BUT if you combine Billy having an unknown father with his mother working with Brenner theory it would make so much sense why his family moved to Hawkins out of all places. This is telenovela level of theory but Billy being another of Brenner's child/experiment (biological or not) would also explain his intense relationship with El.

Also while I'm thinking about Billy having a connection with the Rainbow Room/Upside Down: when we have that doppergänger scene Billy shouts at the MF "what do you want?" and it's a wierd thing to say to a monster that has just attacked you and who you've just met. Normal reaction would be to freak out, just like everybody did in season one. It kinda sounded like Billy was somewhat familiar with it? Compare to Will shouting "go away!" at MF in season two when he already knew who MF was.

And I'm just making this up as a go, but maybe Billy was just like El, his mom had him with Brenner and he was meant to be an experiment, but didn't show any powers and that's why his mom left him with Neil while still keeping him under Brenners supervision (and that's why the Hargroves were relocated to Hawkins instead of anywhere else). Cue Billy actually being "force sensitive" all this time, at least in a way that he was aware of the MF. And that's why in the doppergänger scene instead of being freaked out he's asking the Mind Flayer the fuck he wants.

I know the part of the book you're talking about, and I took it as metaphorical. Billy isn't suggesting Neil isn't his actual dad. He's saying Neil isn't capable of being a good dad.

"He's a horrible guy, Max. Haven't you figured that out? You really think a guy like that could be a father? Not to me, and not to you."

And that's very important to the book. Billy's telling us he hates Neil so much that he's sworn him off as a father. He doesn't even call him "Dad" when speaking to Max. I wouldn't say that's out of the blue or unnecessary for the plot!

Of course, we could find out later it has a double meaning (for us as readers - Billy has no idea). That's always possible given Billy's extensive parallels with El, who was raised by a false father.

Personally though, I would be surprised if that twist happened. I'd be even more surprised if they made a big deal out of it. Billy's story is shifting to focus on his mother, and you can only have so many hugely impactful parent-related revelations for one character 😆 If we find out Neil isn't Billy's real father, I'd expect to receive the news as an almost throwaway fact. His mom saying, "Oh, and he's not your real dad," right after we find out she's a villain. And Billy's like, "Well... my entire world's just been destroyed, so... that's fair."

As for the possibility that Brenner is his real dad... well, if we're taking the books as canon, the Brenner and Terry novel explicitly states that Brenner has no biological children. So we have to take that into account too.

Honestly, I don't believe Billy asking the MF "what do you want?" means that much. I didn't find it that weird. He was just attacked, yes, and now he's facing his attacker. He's also in shock. So you could say he's falling back on instinct developed over years of abuse. Why does Neil hurt Billy? Because he's not getting what he wants. ("You were supposed to watch her.") What's the quickest way to make the abuse stop? Find out what Neil wants and give it to him. Billy, imo, is operating by Neil's rules in his scenes with the MF.

So yeah, I do think Billy is being set up to join the ranks of experiments. But I don't believe his reaction to the MF is strong enough evidence for that. It could mean something in the future, but only with a lotttt of other revelations to change our view of it.

[1800-omi]

scared.

characters: sakusa x reader

warnings/genre: liberal use of italics, female reader, swearing, angst, fluff

notes: i tried to proof read as much as possible i swear

Saying Sakusa Kiyoomi was good-looking was an understatement. Everything — from his soft skin to the way his perfect black curls fell on his forehead to his deep brown eyes — looked amazing on him. From that description alone one might say Kiyoomi is feminine, but his well built body and strong jaw say otherwise. He was pretty. Perfect balance between masculine and feminine. With that said, you couldn’t understand how Sakusa Kiyoomi had eyes for you when everyone else had eyes for him.

In fact, Kiyoomi not only had the looks, but he had the smarts too. He had perfect grades, had won so many awards, so many certificates. He had been at the top of his class ever since primary school. You weren’t sure whether there was something he has not achieved. He is the golden boy every family wanted, so when your family found out you were dating him you could say they were more than pleased.

Having known him for more than 3 years and having dated him for 2 years, you knew that being Sakusa Kiyoomi’s partner wasn’t easy. To others, you weren’t Y/N, you were Sakusa’s girlfriend. The perfect girlfriend for the perfect boy, always by his side, always supporting him. This was not necessarily a bad thing, but at times you thought whether you’d ever be more than just someone’s girlfriend. Not to mention, were you just an accessory to him too? When with him, you had this terrible desire to be loved, and still there was a horrible fear of being left behind.

Once again, you decide to put all these thoughts and insecurities aside. Letting out a soft sigh, you open the door of the café you were supposed to be meeting your boyfriend. The edge of the door shakes a little bell, causing it to ring, alerting the people in the café that someone has entered. You look around the place, eyes searching for your boyfriend.

The café was decorated beautifully, with big lilac plants planted in vases placed at the corners of the room. Each table had a little vase with a small flower on it, you never were sure whether all of them were real or not. The metal chairs were each coloured differently and looked quite vintage, each of them had a cushion placed on top of it, to make it more comfortable. The pastry and desserts the café offered also smelled wonderful. This place calmed your nerves the moment you stepped in which is why it was your favourite place to spend time in.

Looking around the café, you see Kiyoomi sitting at your usual place, at the corner. You make your way to the table he’s sitting at and sit in front of him.

“Hello, love,” he says the moment you take a seat, “how was your day?”

You take your bag off and put it on the empty chair beside you. “My day was good. I'm quite tired, though.”

“Not getting proper sleep again?” he raised an eyebrow, “you do know that's not healthy, right?”

Another thing Sakusa Kiyoomi likes to do is make sure you’re living as much of a healthy and perfect life as he is. You knew he did this out of love but sometimes you couldn't help but feel as if you couldn't keep up with him and his perfect lifestyle.

“Yes, I know. Don’t worry, I did get sleep, I just didn't get my daily coffee today.” That was a lie. You were up all night studying for your exams. The exams you have not studied nearly enough for because of the responsibilities that came with being the cheerleader’s captain.

“That’s good then.” A waitress walked to the table you were sitting in, placing two coffees and two slices of cake on it, one for each of you. “I ordered for us, I hope you don't mind.” He says and he removes his mask getting ready to sip his coffee.

“Thank you, you always know what I like.” you smile at him before looking down at your slice of cake, grabbing a fork and begging to eat it.

You see Kiyoomi grab his phone and swipe a few times all before opening his mouth and saying. “The exam results are out.”

With that, you feel your stomach turn and you get hit by a sudden wave of anxiety. You are not sure whether or not you want to check your results right now. You know you did not do well, but you can't just stand there staring at your cake either. You slowly pick up your phone, hands slightly shaking. Kiyoomi doesn't notice this, actually, he does not know this side of you at all.

He sees you swipe a couple of times, all before freezing and gulping. You’re praying he doesn't ask about your grade, so you try to ask him questions instead. “So, what did you get?” you put your phone down and put both your hands on your lap, playing with your fingers under the table.

“Maximum points, as usual,” he answers, making your stomach feel even sicker.

“That’s amazing! Congratulation—”

“What about you?” he interrupts you, his dark brown eyes staring into yours.

“I did, um, I did alright!” you stutter, forcing a smile at him. You were proud of your grade, but you knew he would not feel the same. It wasn't even his opinion on his grade that mattered to you, it was the fact he did better than you. You used all the free time you had for studying, you truly gave it your all, and yet here you are, second, again.

“Let me check.” before you could protest, he grabs your phone.

“No, Kiyoomi, ” by the time the words left your mouth he’s already swiped a couple times.

He opens his mouth and lets out a soft sigh, a soft sigh that almost went unnoticed by you. “You know, I’m gonna need to tutor you more often.”

Here he goes, once again, making your heart ache. Making you feel so small, so useless, so ashamed. He does not know that you were expecting way worse. He does not know that if you didn't have him, you would be way happier with your results. To him, your efforts are small, so, so small. This feeling has been going on for years now, you can’t remember whether there was ever a time where you didn't feel like the second-best beside him. He made you feel so pathetic, it made you angry and unbearably sad.

“Actually, no, I don't think I need your tutoring. I did quite well.”

“I know you did, but you could’ve done better.”

“Oh? Well, I didn’t and I’m proud of my results.” You raised your voice slightly. Your tone made it seem like you were trying to prove something wrong even though there was nothing to prove him wrong.

He could sense you were mad at him and he didn’t even know why, which made him angry too. “What’s with the attitude? It’s not my fault you didn’t study. You literally had weeks to do it.”

That did it. You were at the edge of breaking. “You know what? You’re right, it’s not your fault. I was the one wasting time coming to all your games and getting your cheerleading squad ready. I was the one wasting time supporting you and your dumb fucking team.” At the end of the sentence, your voice broke and your vision was getting blurry by your tears. By now, everyone else in the café was staring at the argument go down. “Next time, I won’t even fucking bother.” You grabbed your bag and rushed out the door, trying to sob as quietly as possible.

His eyes had widened at your response. He put his head on his hands and whispered, “Fuck, I messed up.”

It had been two weeks since you last talked to Kiyoomi and there was not a day that passed in which you had not thought of your fight with him. Whenever you thought about what went down you felt sick. Yet here you are, sitting on your desk, homework waiting to be finished in front of you while you think about it again. All Kiyoomi was trying to do was help you, how could you be so selfish? How could you let your jealousy take over? Your failures are not his fault. You should’ve just studied, but you’re so fucking useless you can't even do that properly. Regret and anxiety had consumed you. Seeing him in the hallways of the school didn't help. You weren't sure what was going on with your relationship anymore, is he breaking up with you? Once again you were dragged away from these thoughts by the sound of knocking on your bedroom door. You shake your head, trying to make yourself sound as normal as possible before talking, “Come in!” you say, looking back at the homework in front of you.

“Hey, ” You’re shocked to hear a voice that didn't belong to any of your family members. You turn around to see Kiyoomi. “Your mom told me to come up, sorry if I'm interrupting.”

“No, it's alright.” you stay quiet, not sure whether you're gonna continue this conversation normally or not. Should you apologise? Should he be the one to apologise?

“I’m sorry,” Kiyoomi speaks up and continues before you can reply. “Can I sit down?” You nod and get up from your desk as he sits down on your bed. You sit down next to him and speak.

“ 'm sorry as well.”

“No, you don't have anything to apologise for. I shouldn't have said what I said.”

“No, you don't understand, it's my fault. I, ” you start tearing up, “I was so selfish and I was jealous and, and–”

“Jealous? Of what?”

“Of everything! I mean, you’re so perfect and you achieve everything you want to and I’m just so terrified of being left behind. I'm so terrified of always being second.”

“Love,” he pulled you into his arms, making you start sobbing.

“And I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better girlfriend, I’m so sorry.” You manage to get out through the sobs. “It’s just that these thoughts have been hurting me so, so much. I don’t think I can take it.”

He kept hugging you as he answered. “Love, I couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend. You’re always so supportive and I know you always try your best.” He placed a kiss on your forehead, “I’m sorry for making you feel this way. Please know that to me, you’ll always be the first. I love you.” You hadn't expected Kiyoomi to say anything, he had always been the type to just let his presence comfort you. The fact he’s trying to reach out to you with his words made you realise how much you meant to him.

“I love you too.” you wipe your tears. “Thank you, Omi.”

Instead of replying, he kisses you. You missed his soft lips on yours, you missed the feeling of having him so close to you. You missed feeling so loved, feeling so important to someone and at the same time having someone who’s just as important to you. You missed him.

reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

[squaretablehold]

what if I posted the end of a fic idea without writing the beginning or the middle.... haha wouldn't that be ridiculous???... hahahaha....Unless. (varré/omc like, twice and neither ends well)

So the background to this is there's been a long standing tension between Varré and Juzan where Juzan thinks Varré could be a great doctor and good man if he'd just stop fucking killing people, and Varré has a crush on Juzan because he's equated love and connection with suffering and Juzan's fucking miserable all the time cause he hates being a white mask.

But then Varré meets a runner named Linden and Linden falls hard for Varré and starts trying to woo him, and Varré's confused by this cause Linden's not dying, why would he want to be around a war surgeon? But they get closer and right as Varré thinks this might be something real Linden fucking dies.

Varré breaks down about it and doesn't really know why and this scene is Juzan coming to comfort him because he's a decent friend.

"You've never lost anyone before have you." Juzan states.

"Don't be ridiculous," Varré snaps, "of course I've lost patients. I'm hardly perfect. Your flattery in this moment is perverse!" Varré sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his glove as if to drive the point home, shooting Juzan a glare but doing nothing to pull away. The other surgeon lets out a sigh that sounds suspiciously close to a laugh.

"No, I mean you've never lost a loved one before." At that Varré freezes. Love? Did he love Linden? Is that why it feels like someone's carved his heart out and replaced it with caltrops? Juzan's still rubbing soothing circles into his back like he hasn't just shattered Varré's world and the warmth of his hand isn't the only thing stopping him from plummeting into the sky.

"No." Varré feels himself say. "I haven't."

Juzan lets out a long breath, and shifts closer on the cot, wrapping his arm around Varré and pulling him into a partial embrace. The war surgeon hesitates for just a moment before turning and burying his face against Juzan's shoulder. He winds his arms around his squadmate and clings, willing himself not to start weeping again but failing utterly.

"When I was eleven years old my baby sister froze to death."

Varré stills, shocked out of his stifled sobs by the sudden and terrible fact about himself Juzan's just shared.

"That's horrible," Varré mutters, not wanting to pull away but feeling like he ought to.

"Yeah, I thought the whole world was ending at the time, but then when I was thirteen both my uncle and my older brother got drafted into the army. We'd get the courtesy wood ash for them one after another the next year." Juzan continues softly, like it's a secret he doesn't know how to share.

"Wood ash?"

"It's what they send when they can't be bothered to find a body or their actual ashes," Juzan's typical derisive tone creeps back, and Varré can almost see the angry frown. Now he does pull away.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because," Juzan tilts Varré's chin to catch his eyes from where they'd fallen to his lap, "I want you to know that you'll survive this. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will, and it will get easier. The pain fades. Not all the way, but it does. What's left is how you hold onto them, even though they're gone." Juzan smiles then, one of his few genuine smiles, but it's tinged with a precious agony that steals Varré's breath away. It glitters in his eyes like candlelight over dark water, deep and beautiful and treasured in the other surgeon's heart. And Juzan offers it to Varré as a balm for his own, while smiling at him like he's worth it, like he makes it better.

Varré doesn't think as he surges forward to capture that smile in a kiss and drink in their shared pain, all he knows is that he wants this. This is what he knows, he knows pain, he knows agony, and he knows how to drown it in tenderness. He didn't know he'd loved Linden until it was too late, but when Juzan offered up his wounded heart bid Varré partake to mend the shreds of his own he knew he loved - loves - Juzan and all his dazzling pain.

Varré's first kiss will always belong to a dead man, but he thinks that maybe his second is even sweeter for knowing what to expect, for knowing to expect it. Or it would be, if Juzan wasn't pulling back and grabbing Varré by the shoulders to keep him at bay.

The two surgeons stare at each other, each one's mouth slightly parted. Varré's in horror at what this could mean, and Juzan's in a flustered shock. Ice creeps up Varré's spine as every damning second creeps by, his heart thunders like the hooves of a frightened animal and he has the strangest urge to run far away from how his friend's shock is turning into a pitious scrutiny.

It's Juzan that speaks first, "Don't- don't do this Varré."

"I-I-, " Varré stammers, his usually silver tongue turned leaden in his mouth.

"This isn't a good idea. You just lost Linden, you can't just…" Juzan heaves a sigh and drags his hands down his face. Released from his hold, Varré has to fight the urge to lean forward, his mind screaming that he has to fix this somehow.

"You're hurting Varré I know, but don't use me as wound dressing. It isn't fair to either of us."

"That's not what this is!" Varré insists, "I wasn't even sure I loved Linden until he died, but you…" Varré goes to grab Juzan's hand but stops when it flinches away. Something gnawing, cold, and ugly starts chewing its way through the pit of Varré's stomach, something with words he doesn't want to hear.

"I felt this way before I even met Linden," Varré whispers, watching Juzan's hand because he can't bare to see the look on his face. It's a lie but it feels truer than anything he's ever known. How had he ever not loved like this? How could something that seems to flow through every part of him as surely as his blood have ever not existed? It's impossible.

"Even if I believed you, I don't- I can't…" Juzan huffs a breath as he folds over and buries his hands in his hair. He grips it in the way Varré knows means he's struggling terribly and his heart leaps to soothe even as it aches and cracks apart all over again at the only thing Juzan could mean.

"Do you not feel the same for me?" The smallness of Varré's voice surprises him. He thought it'd be louder, more tremulous, reflect some of the howling desperation that's screaming through him. He's not sure what he expects to see when Juzan looks up at him but it's certainly not a guilty sort of pain that makes his surely masochistic little heart flip in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I could. I think I could, but not now, not like this. Not as a white mask."

And with that admission Juzan might as well have shoved Varré backwards off a cliff for how everything tumbles around him. He can't breath for the wind rushing in his ears even as he's frozen in place.

It takes a moment for what Juzan said to sink in, and when it does Varré's shock turns to anger.

"Oh? So you could love me if I wasn't what I am?" He bites out the question and relishes Juzan's shocked expression.

"That's not what I m-" Juzan cuts himself off, the realization that Varré's misinterpretation of his words rings just as true playing dizzily across his face.

"Fuck, Varré, don't take that the wrong way."

"And how should I take it? I was raised to be a war surgeon all my life, so if you find that distasteful you may as well pull out your dagger and start carving my face off yourself." His accusative and gruesome comparison fails to elicit Varré's desired reaction from Juzan. Instead the other surgeon takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and speaks in a carefully gentle tone.

"You're angry cause you're hurting, and you're misunderstanding me."

Somehow the attempt at patience and understanding from the normally abrasive man only riles Varré up further.

"I understand perfectly! You can't do what you must for the good of the army and insist on torturing your patients as if that'd make your hands any less bloody. You're a failure of a war surgeon and instead of facing the truth you've convinced yourself we're all evil, unlovable, wretches. Is that it, hm?" Varré isn't sure when he leapt to his feet to try and tower over Juzan, but he only realizes it when the other man glares up at him from his seat on the cot. There's a familiar hatred there that makes Varré's blood run cold. He's pushed too far this time hasn't he, bringing up their disagreements as doctors.

"Fuck off, Varré," Juzan huffs as he grabs his mask and stands. He heads for the exit, but Varré catches him by the arm as he passes.

"Where are you going? We're not done here!" His voice cracks on the last word, that missing desperation from earlier finally making itself known.

"We are." Juzan states as he wrenches his arm from Varré's grasp and puts on his mask, shattering any intimacy that might have remained between them, "I have patients."

He says it like an accusation, an indictment of Varré not having patients to tend to, and that twists whatever knife had seemingly found its way into Varré's gut. He stands there alone in the tent unsure of where to go from here. Linden is dead, and Juzan rejected him. Nobody loves a white mask it seems, a bloody killer in the guise of an angel. No one can stomach it, they're not meant to. A killer is only loved when life is too painful to continue, and so Varré must face his life without. He must snach bits and pieces where he can, and eek out a heart on the fringes with his own kind. He tries to tell himself he can be content with that again, as he once thought he was. But after knowing the warmth of love, his mask feels far too cold against his lips.

[itsclydebitches]

I know it's weird, but I always thought that Ironwood's idea of security was pretty dumb, he pretty much brings hackable soldiers and still keeps them even after the tower incident and doesn't even try to be subtle about it, that easily causes panic.

If he really wanted to be safe, just human soldiers and huntsman would've been enough.

Hell, the main reason Robyn was against him was just Cinder giving him a bad rep, telling her everything would have really helped.

I'm not saying that Ironwood's character was done well, but rwde critics constantly deify him and handwaved his mistakes and said they weren't his mistakes.

Based on my experience, it's not that critics are denying his flaws or mistakes, but rather that they're refusing to think the worst of him in a story that, frankly, doesn't give us all the information we need to make an informed decision about responsibility.

Let's take the examples you've laid out. Yeah, in retrospect having hackable soldiers was a huge mistake and for a 21st century viewer, it's indeed super obvious that technology is a fallible tool. However, RWBY (to my recollection) never imbued Remnant with that same knowledge, nor those same concerns. Atlas is treated like a technological marvel — supposedly the world's only given how often such-and-such invention is Atlas' — and any technology, in turn, is treated as a boon, not something capable of harm. Dust, weapons, mechs, an adorable android girl... all of it is painted in a utopian-ish light and what very few hints we get at potential pitfalls — like the White Fang stealing those mechs and Roman attacking the group with one — are never explored. At no point in Volumes 1-3 is the narrative concerned with the dangers such technology presents, including hacks. The Remnant world reacts like Ironwood's army getting hacked really is a shocking, totally unexpected thing that no one considered as a possibility — except the villains looking to enact that harm. So if this is a world where what's obvious to us has yet to be discovered by these characters, Ironwood isn't any more of a fool than everyone else. No one expected Cinder's hack: not him, not his scientists, not the level-headed Glynda, not Ozpin who tells him to use his soldiers now that they're here... that's why this is a tragedy. And trying to read RWBY through that, "Well, it's obvious to me that this was stupid" ignores what little, cultural world building we've got, as well as some basic facts of the show. It's like fans blaming Ironwood for not changing the codes after Watts went bad. He thought Watts was dead. Everyone did. The viewers are using their omniscient knowledge of the show to judge a character's decisions. How dare Ironwood not magically realize Watts was alive and planning to attack the Kingdom at some point... something we only know about because we get an inside look into Salem's war room by virtue of this being a fictional show.

As for the human soldiers, is that really an easy solution? We as the fans may think it is, but the story doesn't. Ironwood reveals the Paladins specifically as a means of replacing people on the battlefield, so that parents, kids, siblings, and friends aren't out there dying while fighting grimm. Pre-hack, that sounds like a pretty fantastic move. And even post-hack, all the way into Volume 8, we've got Marrow horrified at the fact that kids (or, you know, 19+yos) are fighting in this war. How horrible that the evil army forces real people to fight these monsters. So what's the solution here? Or, within RWBY's world, what's the solution Ironwood should have turned to in order to not be a dumb, ethically dubious soldier? Putting machines on the field opens him up to the enemy taking advantage of that technology. Putting people on the field opens up the possibility that they will die horrific deaths he'll be blamed for. Not putting anyone on the field means that grimm (and Salem's forces) overtake the world and kill everyone anyway. This is no good, easy solution here. Which is the point. Critics aren't saying, "Ironwood is a faultless individual who did everything right." They're saying, "RWBY has introduced problems with no obvious answers, so why would we condemn someone for their understandable ignorance and/or an inability to conjure up that impossibly perfect solution?" If someone is presented with a red block and a blue block and told to pick the purple block, even if I think it's wrong to choose blue ("Red was totally closer!") I'm not going to blame them because that task was rigged from the start. There is no purple block available, red or blue are the only options, and the people going, "Idk why he didn't just merge the blocks together to create purple" are ignoring some fundamental facts about the situation. What is and is not capable of happening, made worse by this being a story where facts can get loose and even contradictory.

Which brings us to Robyn. I don't agree that she was only against Ironwood because of Cinder's speech. Everything we hear is about the state of Mantle and that she's against him because, as a person in a position of power, he's failed to improve their circumstances. The problem with this is that RWBY likewise fails to establish how much of this is actually Ironwood's responsibility, coupled with what little information we get being... ridiculous? Few of our crucial questions are answered and some answers are, quite frankly, absurd. How long has this been going on, because this feels like a systematic problem that extends far before Ironwood's time? How is a single, short term embargo causing this much strife? Why is the focus on Mantle when we see that there are actual slums where all the faunus supposedly live? How much power does Ironwood actually hold when there are (normally) three other people on the council? How in the world do resources to build Amity Tower into a communication device equal, like, the food Mantle people supposedly need? (What do they need?) Why is everyone terrified of the soldiers when they a) are not shown abusing their power in any way and b) are actively keeping people safe from the invading grimm? Are those soldiers people or androids — they never take off their helmets? If helping the people was so important, why didn't Robyn do anything with the resources she stole?

And on and on. It's such a badly constructed situation that the viewer doesn't even know precisely what's happening, let alone where to lay blame. Toss in the ethical complications — is it right to cause some short term damage in an effort to save the world in the future? — and you've got yourself a hot mess. Anti-Ironwood fans are happy to lay everything at his feet, regardless of how much sense it makes, or even whether we have enough information to argue whether it makes sense or not. Critics, in turn, aren't waving away Ironwood's mistakes, but rather acknowledging that figuring out what his mistakes are is... really, really hard. Not just in regards to ethics (things like the trolley problem), but just basic facts as well. "Ironwood is so dumb, why didn't he just plug up the hole in Mantle's wall." Idk. Why didn't any of our 8+ heroes plug up the wall? Why didn't Robyn with her stolen resources? Why didn't any of the scientists that make up Atlas' renown? What little we're given in RWBY doesn't point towards Ironwood as the responsible party — as it should in a show where he's being set up as the next baddie — it just points towards the writers' inability to write a coherent scenario with a clear message about responsibility. I can't blame a character for things when it's so very unclear what's going on.

Which is precisely why Volume 8 went so crazy hard on the "Ironwood is evil" message. What RWBY gave us was not a good portrayal of an evil man, or even a man making decisions he should be unambiguously blamed for, so we wind up with, "And then Ironwood shot the councilman in the head" just to get the "he's evil" message across. That is finally clear. But pre-Volume 8 we're still left with a story that made many in the fandom go, "Wait... but he didn't know that would happen? There's no easy answer here? There's actually a lot of good attached to that 'bad' idea and philosophy courses would spend half a semester on this ethical question alone. Why are we supposed to see him as a bad guy again? He reads like a well-rounded, flawed, but good-hearted guy doing the best he can in a really shitty situation and that's when we understand what the situation is..."

Given that ambiguity, yeah, we can absolutely assume the worst and think Ironwood dumb, callous, capable of anything. For many critics though, ambiguity means not assuming the worst. It means acknowledging that we don't have all the necessary information, or that various contradictions undermine this reading, or that the show did such a bad job with Ironwood in the end that taking his previous (supposed) mistakes at face value feels a little ridiculous. Yeah, Volume 7 had a lot of good in it, but given how badly Volume 8 face-planted, it puts a rather negative light on everything that came before it. "Robyn says that Ironwood has..." well, Robyn is also the woman who goes on to rewrite what happened with Clover, so I'm not sure accepting her interpretation of events is a great way to go. Now apply that kind of thinking to nearly everything because, again, RWBY is so unclear about these crucial plot-points. Prior to the dictator-turn of Volume 8, so much of Ironwood's flaws are things we're told, with the expectation that we're just going to ignore all the ways in which that doesn't make sense, isn't supported, is coming from an unreliable character, is a flaw that exists in the heroes yet is treated entirely differently, etc. After all that, you start getting a bit more discerning about what are Ironwood's "real" mistakes and what is simply a double-standard, or the story failing to actually show us that fault rather than just insisting it's there.

[pretoriafics]

Sea business - Enemies to Lovers Week #2

You know what? I really like Kevin. I feel sad about him :(

Word count: 1.185 Pairings: Reader x The Deep Contain: Fluff <3 Warnings: English is not my main language <3 THE BOYS MASTERLIST

To you, the sea was one of the most fascinating things on Earth.

Well, first of all, humans know more about space than about the oceans. You can't even imagine how many mysteries are hidden in the deepest parts of the sea. The marine life fascinates you even more. Oh, the ocean was so beautiful and dangerous...

Despite being so fascinated by the ocean, you had a traumatic past with it. Your dad was a fisherman, and a huge storm made his boat sink into the sea. His body was never found.

You love the Sea World, and the sound of the waves hitting the beach was calming to you. You always go to the beach when you need to calm down, or simply when you miss your dad.

The Deep was your favorite hero. However, when you were recruited by Billy Butcher, that feeling disappeared. You helped to kill Translucent, and now you and Kevin are enemies. He tried to harm you numerous times, as well as you did the same with him. He was selfish, stupid, and he was a harasser.

That specific day, you had an argument with Billy. That's why you went to the beach: to calm your nerves. You were sitting on the sands, looking at the sundown. Sometimes, you just want to run away from all that Supe crap. However, you knew that all of that was not about you. People needed justice for what The Seven does.

"Seems like we have more things in common than I thought."

A familiar voice pulls you out of your thoughts. When you look to your side, you saw Kevin sat in the sands. He was with his body entirely wet. You deduced that he was in the sea just a few minutes ago.

You arch your eyebrows.

"Things in common? What? Selfishness? Superpowers?"

He looks at you, rolling his eyes.

"You like the sea. I know when someone does."

Well, he was right. You stare at the sundown again, with your forearms on your knees.

"Yeah, kind of."

You were not expecting to have some real conversation with Kevin. You hunt people like him, after all. Starlight and Kimiko were your two only exceptions.

"You would love to talk with dolphins. They got a great sense of humor."

You look at him again with arch eyebrows. Why was he trying so hard to have some real conversation with you? Well, actually, it was pretty comforting to find someone who likes the sea as you do. There's no problem talking with Kevin a bit, right? No personal stuff, just sea stuff.

"They are cute." You reply to him, trying to be nice. "I've always seen the dolphins at Sea World."

Kevin stares at you, scared.

"No, no. The Sea World does horrible things with the animals. I've heard awful things about that place."

This time, your eyes widened in pure shock.

"I didn't know about this. There's someone doing something about it?"

"No. I mean, I would love to do something, but the Vought..."

You heard Starlight saying things about Vought. The members can't support their own principles and causes. Being part of The Seven is grandiose, but it is also a prison. Vought has the power to annulate each member to get money and to maintain advertising. You think it is pretty sad. That is why lots of them forget about why they wanted to be a hero.

"They put a chain on you. You can't do anything. I know. I think you should fight for what you think is right, but... It doesn't sound so simple as that."

"It's not." He said, looking at the sands of the beach now. Kevin was thoughtful with your words. "And I feel bad about this and about what the animals in the sea are passing through. Pollution increased highly, they're in danger. It's sad because of the ocean..."

"...Is your home." You completed "And the place you felt you truly belong to. No judgments, no bad feelings. Just peace."

Kevin looks at you with a soft expression on his face. You could understand him. He gave you a gentle smile.

"Exactly."

"I know how you feel. When I'm on a tough day, the sea made me feel calm again. Feels like home."

Feels like your dad is with you again. You remind yourself about the Sundays at his boat, the fishing... It was your safe point and everything you needed after a stressful day. So, yeah, you could perfectly understand Kevin.

You look at him, and you saw something that scared you: Kevin was so lonely as yourself. Just like you, he was in a world that he can't fit in. Kevin needed desperately someone who could see him as Kevin and no as The Deep. In the sundown at the sands in the NYC beach, that was exactly what you saw: Kevin, a sensitive and lonely man who only had thousands of people interested in what he had to offer. A man who needed desperately someone who believes him and someone who could be his safe point. If he was not blinded by the status of being part of The Seven, he would be a great man.

Looking into his eyes, you saw the real Kevin and the good man that was hidden under a shell of selfishness and ambition.

You got curious about that man you met. Could you be able to fix him and bring him to the surface? Well, you can't try. In that war against the Supes, you were on opposite sides.

Dang! Kevin really made things with your head and with your heart.

"From all the people," He said, looking at you "I'd never expected to have this kind of conversation with you."

"The feeling is mutual." You said, standing up from the sand. You slide your hands on your shorts, cleaning the sand off your shorts "Well, Deep, I have to go."

He stood up as well, standing his hand to you.

"Kevin. Just call me Kevin."

Oh, wow. You shake Kevin's hand.

"Okay, Kevin. It was a nice talk. Enjoy the beach."

He gave you a soft smile. Well, he was a pretty smile. You turn your back, walking to the sidewalk direction. Then, you heard Kevin calling you.

"Hey! We still hate each other, right?"

You cross your arms, containing a smile. Not exactly. Actually, you find Kevin interesting. After a few seconds of hesitating, you said:

"I'd still kick your ass."

"I'm counting on it."

You both share a low laugh, and then you look at each other. Kevin was trying to memorize your smile. Due to the whole situation between both of you, he doesn't know he will ever be your smile again. But oh, he would love to see it again.

Man... Destiny has a weird sense of humor!

You turn your back, feeling your cheeks burning. You would never expect to feel that kind of feeling about a Supe, mainly about Kevin. However, no one plans to feel something about someone.

Man... Hunt him will be so much hard now.

[visd3stele]

The beauty and his beast - wolfstar fic

summary: two different nights, years passed, some things changes, but some never do

TW: nightmares, PTSD, trauma, non depictive child abuse, themes of suicidal thoughts

A/N: I loved writing this, but I am so nervous about it. What do you think?

requests ; masterlist

fanart credit picture down below: @lunopal

Ragged voices licked his ears. Three different ones overlapped in a cacophony of hissed whispers and dooming laughs. From where he stood in the middle of his cell, Sirius could see a silhouette standing in the open door. Open, because there was no way he could escape. Three Dementors floated in a circle around him, so fast he could barely tell them apart. Black smoke, a burning smell and shadows whirled under low hoods, bringing him to his knees.

The man in the door curled his lips in a terrible grin. The Dementors were his and with each mind they broke, with each soul they ate, the wizard gained a sense of pride and morbid joy.

Sirius knew it. He knew the man, back in his school years - how far they seemed now! But Sirius also knew he was delusional. The Dementors bow to no one. They have no law, no caretaker, no master. Only their purpose.

Continuing to swirl around his frail body, sinked in to a third of what it used to be, bony edges poking out through dirty thin layers of clothing, the Dementors closed in on Sirius. Flashes of memories flew before the Animagus' eyes. James' empty ones, still open in a silent plea for his sacrifice to be enough to save his family, his brown hair dipped in his own blood, body angled in an unnatural position with his hand stretched forward above his head as if reaching for his best friend. Lily's tears, yet to dry and evaporates, stained her too pale face, the red of her hair sprayed around too lively; no blood pools formed around her lifeless body, laid on its belly as it fell onward, as if leaping away from her son, so the baby won't have to see it. And finally Harry, his godson, crying in his crib, a brown-red crust shaped like a lightning forming on his forehead; his green, small eyes, swollen, puffy and trimmed with red followed his godfather as the man turned his back on him and ran outside.

Sirius cursed loudly, beginning to shackle the chains trapping him in place in case he tried to escape the daily visit of the Prison Warrant and his guards. But the now twenty five years old has stopped trying to run a long time ago. What good would it be? There was nothing - no one - waiting from him out in the world. No, Sirius trashing around the cold, dirty dais, snapping the metal biting in his wrists, bruising his effervescent skin and almost cracking his bones as well was his attempt to run from his own mind. If he could just wipe the haunting memories away with a shook of his head, a twist of his back or punching and kicking the thick walls.

Fragments of thoughts he wasn't sure belonged to him invaded his mind. "Your fault. Traitor. Another Black." And, worst of all, one pained howl, a desperate scream in the night. Sirius wasn't sure if he heard it, or the dark creatures around toyed with him, but Remus' wild, feral yell of pure hurt reverberated inside the bars of his mind. The young wizard shut his eyes closed tightly, hoping to brush away the sound, the voices. Failing to do so, he released a scream of his own, only a hint of Padfoot, the big, black dog, his alter ego, printed in it.

The thirty four years old man yanked up. The bed sheets were soaked in his sweat, the blanket throwed on the floor. Sirius passed a shacking hand over his face, feeling the hot air leaving his mouth in short breaths, than big inhales with no exhale, the burning of tears on his warm red cheeks and the running nose. His lips felt sewed together all of a sudden, as chill after chill entered his body, cooling off his face too quickly.

It was just a nightmare, he knew. He escaped Azkaban, has been a free man from over a week already. But Sirius Black couldn't let the twelve years in prison go. The things he saw there, what the Dementors showed him day after day, carved their way in his brain, refusing to leave. Yes, he may have been wrong: his family and living friend welcomed him back. Harry was warming up to hid godfather, Nymphadora Tonks was eager to know her uncle, Andromeda even reached out, sending letter after letter and Remus - well, Remus hugged him tight and apologized for believing that filthy rat's lies. The werewolf spent his days, from first ray of sunshine until the last drop of sunlight. But the nights he went home. The nights when ghosts came to play, wounds teared open and pain leaked like blood from Sirius' heart, Remus was gone.

He tried to remember a time they didn't share a bed - before Azkaban, of course. Not in a sexual way, though it came to that in the late years of Hogwarts too. But simply for the comfort they each found in the other. It started in the second year, Sirius recalled.

Four twelve years old boys in a room seemed like a receipt for disaster. In a way, it was. After finding out their friend's secret, James, Sirius and Peter decided to sneak in the herbology cabinet, get Mandrake leaves and become Animagus. Seeing as they got away with it, the four created their enchanted map and become the Marauders, messers Prongs, Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail, waltzing their merry way through Hogwarts.

Not everything was merry and joyful, though. And despite their reputation, the wizards could be grave and serious when need be. Like one night, when Sirius woke them all up with his cries. The grey eyed boy stood on top of his bed covers, knees drawn to his chest, hands tangled in his shoulder length hair. He leaned back and forth, trembling. Front teeth bit in his lower lip to prevent him from making more noises as silent tears rolled down his face.

The other three boys thought Sirius saw a mean spirit, the haunted glassy look in his eyes only proving their theory further. But no danger threatened in the shadows of their room. No monster lurked in the darkness.

James was the first to get up and surf his way to the pure blood. Remus followed closely behind while Peter watched everything from the safety of his bed. Sirius' episode truly spooked him.

"Padfoot, mate, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. 'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

James and Remus changed worried looks at the sourness of Sirius' voice. Their friend would usually be the epitome of confidence, yet now he seemed to desperately try to shrink and disappear. But it was late and they were tired, so the boys decided with a swift nod that they'd pick up the subject in the morning and climbed back under their covers.

Remus jolted awake. Two out of his three best friends were sound asleep. Sirius still stared at the wall in front of him, breathing jerky. Due to his fine, superior hearing, the werewolf discerned the Black boy's muffled whimpers, sounds that kept him from sleeping.

"Sirius, why are you so afraid?" Remus whispered.

" 'm not afraid, Moony. Sleep."

"Can't. Werewolf remember? I hear you trying to not cry. You can cry, you know."

"I know." Sirius said in a tone that clearly showed he doesn't. With a sigh, Remus threw away his blanket, slipped his feet in his shoes and trailed his legs over the dorm's brick daises until he reached his friend's bed. The brown haired boy signed Sirius to scoop over, which he did, to both wizards surprise.

Later, when talking about that night, Padfoot admitted he was too tired, too shocked and too lost in his mind to think and only acted on auto pilot.

Remus brought the blankets to cover them both, still seated as they were. "Do you need a hug?" Sirius hesitated before answering, but eventually he nodded twice, a quick movement as if the boy was ashamed to admit it and wanted to pass unnoticed.

But Remus smiled softly and wrapped his hands around him. Sirius clinged onto his friend. The warmth of the gesture, the cozy closeness of a settled, stable body, a person that cared deeply about him and only him as a being, set the restrained tears free. Remus held Sirius until his body stilled and he could feel no more tears soaking his pajamas.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius swallowed, but the words demanded to be spoken. "Yes."

"Alright. I'm gonna ask you questions and you can answer with yes or no. It's your choice if you want to elaborate. Sounds good?"

"Yes." Sirius said and for a moment his usual, ironic self showed up.

"Was it a nightmare?"

"Yes."

"About your family?"

With a shudder, the grey eyed boy forced out another "yes."

"Your brother?"

"No."

"Your parents, then. Did they - did they do something to you?"

"Yes." Remus' arms tighten around him and he clunged harder to his friend as well. In the safety of the Gryffindor dorm, shared with his most trusted peers, comforted by the scarred boy he became an Animagus for, Sirius stumbled over his thoughts. The dream weighted heavy on his mind, but he didn't know how to let free of those horrible images that haunted him. Not images, memories. Sirius feared that if he said anything they'll become real. Not that they weren't, but they happened in the past. Talking about them, invoking them, would feel like living through them again.

And yet, part of him wanted to talk. He needed someone to know. Sirius couldn't be sure why. Maybe to hear that it was nothing, that it was ok and he shouldn't be such a weak ship. Or maybe to hear it was normal and he wasn't alone. That is how parents love and his didn't hate him after all. Or just to show someone how broken he were, hoping to be picked un and patched.

So, speaking slowly, but evenly, Sirius retailed his nightmare to Remus. In his sleep, the twelve years old boy was hanging some muggle posters in his room: bands, promo for concerts, normal things a boy his age would own. He smiled broadly, music turned on quite loud, muggle music, when his parents bursts in. Walburga and Orion both yell, but Sirius can’t understand what they’re saying. It’s pretty clear they are very upset with him, though. And the reason couldn’t be more obvious. 

“Sirius Orion Black!” his mother shrieked. “Ungrateful, worthless child! You are a stain on the family’s name.”

“You should be ashamed of you. As much as I am for being your father. Well, say something. Look how upset you made your mother!”

“Sorry,” he’d try to say, but his voice would break, too small to be heard by the angry adults. Which only worsened their state. Sirius watched frozen in terror as Walburga took her wand. Only his head seemed to be able to move, and he was shacking it vigorously, wiping his cheeks with it. The young wizard tasted tears on his tongue as he repeated the same words over and over again “no, please, ‘m sorry!” It did nothing to help. 

Remus stayed in his bed that night.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

The moon shone mockingly on the window. Last night has been a full moon and Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail failed to properly contain Moony. It happened quite a lot in their first days as Animagus. As normal, they got better over the years, the four boys falling in rhythm like an oiled machine. By the time they reached excellency, though, mistakes happened. James, Peter and Sirius thought less of it, but Remus took it badly. 

As he laid in the dark, blanket drawn to cover his head as he hugged his knees on the side, the young werewolf tried to remember what happened last night. What if he killed someone? What if he will next time the boys won’t be able to restrain him? Is it worth living like this, a danger to himself and the ones around? What if he hurts his friends? 

“I can hear your mind working from over here y’know?”

Remus straighten up in shock. “Padfoot?”

“Well, it’s not the Fat Lady. What’s on your mind?”

Remus shrugged, but Sirius wouldn’t stop pestering him until he poured his deepest fears and doubts. 

“You won’t”

“How do you know this?”

“You won’t, Moony,” Sirius said more firmly this time.

“Alright.” Remus clearly didn’t believe him and his worries still troubled him as he turned to lay back down. He heard footsteps, then felt the mattress shifting as another body climbed over his bed covers. “I know because I am Sirius Black and you are my friend.” Less than an hour later, both boys were sound asleep.

Sirius slept in his bed that night.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

It became a tradition. At first, they'd wait until one of them woke frozen in pain and panic, then they'd stay together and talk silently until they could sleep again. Later, Sirius and Remus would wait until James and Peter were out to decide who's bed to sleep in, knowing one of them - or both - ought to need the comfort.

The man kept trembling. His sobs caught in hiccups, leaving him out of breath. He did it. He left Harry for revenge. He practically made the choice for James and Lily, selecting Peter as secret keeper. His brother died and instead of mourning him, Sirius rejoiced bitterly in his cell - until he found out how he betrayed the Dark Lord.

He was just another Black. An evil presence in the world, despite his efforts. Gryffindor or Slytherin, it mattered not when his genes crafted him. Sirius tried so hard to be good, brave, loyal and the only thing he managed was to disappoint everyone. He was a nuisance and a burden and the a stain on the world. It'd be better if his sorry, useless existence would be wiped off the surface of the Earth.

Such thoughts clouded Sirius' mind when a light knock pulled him out of his head. "May I come in, Padfoot?"

The man almost broke at the nickname. Only one single person now would know to call him that. The weight of the realization hit him and another wave of tears carried the air from his lungs.

Receiving no answer, Remus kicked the door open, worry written all over him. The werewolf was panting and sweating from running, eyes wide close to terror. "Padfoot!" Seeing his oldest friend's state, he rushed to his side and hesitated only a moment before drawing him in for a hug.

"Nightmare?"

"Yes."

"Azkaban?"

"Yes."

"Dementors?"

"Yes. They-" Sirius gulped, shame tightening up in his throat. He was a thirty four man, for Godric's sake! And yet he cries like a baby. But the path he and Remus trailed off to, simple questions, any type of answer, so familiar and soothing he couldn't stop. "They tortured me. Showing me their - James and Lily's - death over and over. I left Harry, Moony. I stepped inside the house, saw that beautiful, brave child, suffering and I took off after bloody Pettigrew!" Before Remus could say a thing, Sirius continued, teeth so barred that words barely spitted out. "I heard you screaming too. I don't think that was real, but it sounded so broken, Moony. Twelve years, over twenty four full moons alone. 'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

Remus inhaled sharply, pulling Sirius even closer to him. He rubbed circles on his back, leaning to whisper in his ear "It was not, Padfoot. I should have trusted you more, star. If anything, it's my fault for spending so much time alone. So much, in fact, that it seems I neglected you, our agreement."

“It was my fault.” Sirius insisted.

“No,” and not letting him time to argue, Remus added “I know so, Sirius, because I am Remus Lupin and you are my... friend.”

Sirius pulled away only to find a reluctant smile playing on Remus' face. His body reacted before his mind could process its moving. He moved on the right side of the bed, still avoiding the other wizard's eyes. "Why are you here, Remus?"

"I couldn't sleep either. Thought to check on you as well. And good thing I did. You looked..." The professor didn't know how to finish that sentenced. Hollow. Empty. Dead. Scaringly close to death, in fact.

"Merlin! Thank you, Moony. You don't look bad yourself."

Remus chuckled. "Are you feeling any better?"

"No. You?"

"No."

Both men laughed. A bitter sweet sound passing through silence, taking with it any sign of discomfort that existed.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too."

[frogtanii]

the warm light from your apartment filters out onto the dark street, a black cat slinking off to hide behind a trash bin. the sight causes a shiver to go down your spine, the heavy feeling of dread weighing down on your back. kei's abrupt change in behavior over text had startled you more than you'd like to admit. you both had been finding solace in each other nearly every night for the past two weeks. you couldn't count how many times you'd felt the tug on your heart to his room late at night, knocking softly and hoping he'd be awake. he usually was, opening the door with a roll of his eyes but you weren't oblivious to the small smile that played on his lips and the light blush that dusted his cheeks as he pulled you into the room and onto his dino decorated covers. the gesture was so soft and sweet and so unlike him that it would send butterflies to your stomach and heat to your face. the nights where you couldn't sleep beside him were filled with tossing and turning, overthinking, and a horrible headache that was nearly impossible to get rid of. kei didn't seem any better off than you, his dark circles a stark contrast against his pale skin the next morning. you'd both chug huge cups of coffee and joke about needing to sleep together more often but there was always a looming feeling that what you were saying wasn't a joke. at least so you hoped.

you shake off these thoughts, their presence only furthering your anxiety at what was awaiting you upstairs. the flight up seems longer than normal and by the time you reach your door, a pool of dread sits heavy in your gut. you fumble with your keys, attempting to get them in the door before swinging it open widely, toeing your shoes off onto the rack, and setting the bag of food from dinner on the kitchen counter. you can hear kei tinkering around somewhere in the apartment and your heart sinks. the containers of food are now cold in your hands as you unwrap one of them and set it in the microwave. the steady hum from the machine does little to soothe your rapidly beating heart, a hand finding its way onto your chest as if squeezing the area will cause the pain to stop.

"hell's the matter with you?" kei's baritone voice startles you out of your thoughts and you jump, heart beating so fast it feels as though it'll leap right out your chest. the microwave beeps and you turn to remove it, setting it in front of your roommate who has made himself comfortable on the counter across from you. he nods his thanks and begins eating, his nonchalant demeanor calming you down very little. you watch him for a moment but the question that has been on your mind since you'd gotten home claws its way out of your throat before you can stop it.

"where's hina?" you ask with false confidence, your eyes tracking his every move for a reaction. kei tenses for a half a second before shrugging, taking another bite out of a potato. "gone." he mumbles, golden eyes finally meeting yours. the apprehension in them doesn't go unnoticed so you continue to press. "how was studying?" you break eye contact, choosing instead to stare down at the marble countertops under your fingertips. a few moments go by without a response so you chance another look at him. his shoulders are slumped and his eyes are boring into his half empty container. if you could see his eyes at that moment, you would be shocked and confused to see tears welling up in the corners beneath his glasses. unfortunately, you don't get to see that uncharacteristic vulnerability being too occupied with waiting for a response, though the response you recieve is not at all what you were expecting.

"yn, what are we doing?" his voice breaks on the last word and your head shoots up to look at him. his glasses are clenched in his left hand, his right gripping the counter underneath him. his eyes refuse to meet yours but when you go to speak, he immediately interrupts. "i mean, we cuddle nearly every night, you tell me you love me, god, and i even say it back!" it's like a dam has been broken and he can't stop talking, tears that were once sitting on his lashline now flooding over his eyes and down his cheeks. with the golden light of the kitchen casting a glow over his tear-stained face, kei looks absolutely breathtaking but somehow you conclude this isn't the best time to tell him that. he keeps talking, his voice now raising in volume and you instinctively start moving towards him. "b-but you just came from a date more expensive than this apartment and i spent time here, alone with a girl that isn't you-" (your heart flutters at that statement) "-and now you're trying to make small talk with me? what are we doing?" at the sound of the question repeated, he finally looks up at you and your breath catches in your throat. he looks utterly broken and you can't keep your hands from going up to caress his cheeks, thumbs moving to wipe away his tears. kei unconciously leans into your touch, the gesture causing tears to well up in your own eyes.

"i like you kei. a lot." your voice comes out barely above a whisper but you can tell he heard you by the way his eyes widen and his head jerking out of your grasp. a pang of pain hits your chest at his rejection but you keep it together, hoping he's just in shock at your words. a moment passes and he continues to stare at you as if he's in awe of your very presence before you. in order to snap him out of whatever daze he's in, you tentatively place a hand on his shoulder and repeat your words again. "i like you." his eyes flutter shut as he lets your words envelop him like a warm hug, almost as if he's trying to memorize how they feel wrapped around him. when his eyes finally open, instead of being met with joy and maybe a hint of desire, his eyes are cold as they stare back at you.

he stands, pushing his way past you and to the door. your face twists up in confusion and you follow close behind him. maybe he's still in shock, you try to reason with yourself but you know deep down that this is a rejection. still, you say the phrase again, "kei, i like you." that proves to be a mistake because he turns towards you quickly with fury and tears behind his glasses. "no you don't." his words slap you in the face and you stumble back, the tears in your eyes finally kissing the cool air of the apartment. you try to speak again but it only takes kei two short strides to reach you and roughly grab your jaw to prevent you from talking.

"you don't like me and you never have. i'm a horrible, disgusting person who you could never truly care about." you go to shake your head no but his grip just tightens. "do you know who i am? do you even know what i've done? if you did, you never would have fallen for me." with that he releases your face and moves towards the door, slipping on a coat and his shoes. his hand is on the door handle when you finally find your voice.

"this had to have meant something to you, right?" of all the things you could've said, you knew this was the wrong one but you just needed to know he felt something, anything at all, that what you two had been through was real. a scoff causes you to look back up, kei's eyes piercing yours though the shine in his eyes tells you he isn't entirely unaffected. he tilts his chin up, looking down on you as though you were nothing, a condescending smirk speading across his face. if you had known him during highschool, you would realize that the look he's wearing is suspiciously close to the one he used to wear back then; cruel, yes, but even worse, he looked apathetic. like you crying was unwarranted and annoying. his mouth opens and you can hardly hear him due to the blood rushing in your ears but his words cause your knees to buckle and you hit the floor with a bang.

"no. it didn't." with that he's gone, taking your breath, your hope, and your happiness with him. you remain frozen on the ground for who knows how long but when you finally find it in yourself to move, you grab your phone and text the first person in your contacts before collapsing.

< omg they were roommates :0

broken

series masterlist

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an: 😀 sorry 😀 also pls ignore the typos if there are any, i am ✨i l l i t e r a t e✨

taglist: @notamazinglizzy • @waitforitillwritemywayout • @1-800-schmacked • @babyshoyo • @tetsufairy • @deephumandragonperson • @krynnza • @tsukkiboii • @chaichai-the-weeb • @raineedayze • @moonlightreetops • @akirudo • @febvrury • @kamidoesthings • @boba-teaaaa • @lookuptotheskiesandsee • @akaashiissimp • @akvvard • @kittynovaaaa • @tinymouth • @ethylalcoholforfandoms • @smellybananaz • @animeanxiety • @angrylittlezizi • @mariamonteon97 • @rotn-decay • @galagcica • @rachelexe • @soleil-sole • @freyafolkvangr • @pleasemelafook-outta-ere • @hon3y-baby • @itsalyssa15 • @kac-chowsballs • @1987hotschott • @tsumu-core • @mangobeann • @moonlightaangel • @jaayypasta • @blveteaaa • @h0ngh0ngh0ng • @multifandomphenomena • @micmic-21 • @bokutosuwus • @melacholy • @loving-unicorns106 • @vanilla-beanzz • @obsessedwhxre • @hebotoxincheck • @slythxr • @kodzu-ken

[jean-kayak]

Anon Request: Lemme drop some Mha requests for ya! 😊

Bakugo, Todoroki, Mirio, and Shinsou with their black!gf getting hit on while she was waiting on them for a date. She’s telling the rando that she’s taken and waiting on her man but he don’t wanna listen until her bae shows up 😗

Characters: Prohero!Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Mirio Togata, Shinsou Hitoshi

A/N: Here you go, Anon, I’m sorry this took so long, and I’m sorry if this is absolute trash, it’s been a rough week lol, hope you like it!

💥He had been running late because his patrol ran over, so he was already on edge, fuming at the fact that a villain interfered with his date

💥You didn't mind though, understanding that hero work never has a set schedule, so you sat in the small cafe, nursing your drink as you waiting for him

💥He texted you that he was about five minutes out, and you're about to respond when someone gets your attention

💥You look up to see a guy standing in front of you. "Hey, is this seat taken?"

💥"Oh, yeah, it is, I'm waiting for someone," you respond nicely and he nods

💥"Oh, okay. I just wanted to say that I thought you were kind of cute, and if I could get your number?"

💥You give him a small smile as you cringe slightly. "Oh, uh, I'm sorry, but I actually have a boyfriend," you decline politely, and you raise your eyebrows when he waves you off

💥"Aww, come on, I'm just trying to be nice," he says, and you nod hesitantly

💥"Yeah, but, you asked for my number," you respond. "I have a boyfriend," you deadpan

💥"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," he tries

💥"Yeah, but he'll definitely hurt you," you say seriously, but he laughs your words off again, continuing to push, and you fight the smirk on your face when you see your boyfriend behind him

💥"Oi, extra!"

💥The guy freezes as his eyes widen, hearing the familiar popping sound coming from your boyfriend's hands

💥The guy turns around his eyes growing even bigger when he sees who's behind him

💥He stutters over his words before he manages to say, "I'm a huge fan."

💥"Oh, you're a huge fan," Bakugou mocks. "Is that why you're messing with my girlfriend?"

💥The guy pales as he waves his hands frantically, his head moving just as fast. "She didn't...she--"

💥"Told you that she was taken," you interrupt with a raise of your eyebrows

❄ He was running a couple of minutes late, but told you to go ahead and go in, telling you the name for the reservation

💥Bakugou raises his eyebrows at your statement and the guy sputters again before rushing out the door, and you stand quickly so that your boyfriend doesn't chase after him

💥And he wraps his arms around your waist. "I won't be late again."

❄The service was great, the waiter coming by almost as soon as you sat down despite the fact that they were pretty busy

❄You were guided pretty deep into the fancy restaurant, amazed at how extravagant it was

❄"Water is fine for now, thank you," you answer politely, and he pours the water in your glass

❄"I don't want to come off as weird, but I just wanted to say that you look really pretty."

❄"Oh, um, thank you. I'm pretty sure I'm way under dressed for a place like this," you respond, smoothing over your dress, not thinking much of the sudden compliment

❄He chuckles softly as he finishes filling your glass. "I would have to disagree," he responds quickly, and you huff softly

❄You give him a quick thank you before he tells you that he'll be back with your menu

❄You're starting to think twice about what he said, but you brush it off once again, chucking it up as him being nice as he comes back

❄"Are you alone tonight?" he asks you as you look over the expensive items on the menu

❄"Oh, no, no," you start, waving him off. "My boyfriend should be here in a little bit," you say, looking in the direction of the entrance, thinking that he must've gotten caught up by some fans

❄The guy scoffs. "Some boyfriend, right?" he comments, and you frown. "Standing up a pretty woman like you."

❄Your frown deepens as you raise an eyebrow. "That's not the case. He's just running a little late."

❄"Really? That just sounds like--"

❄A pair of hands come down on his shoulders, and you smile slightly at the sight of your half and half boyfriend standing behind him

❄"Oh, no, please keep going, sounded like I was getting to a good part of the conversation," Shouto says, activating his quirk slightly, lightly burning his shirt as a thin layer of ice appears on the other side

❄"Doesn't really look like I'm standing up my girlfriend, now does it?" The man chuckles nervously, struggling to speak

❄"Bring me a water, will you?," he finishes before lifting his hands, and the man practically runs away

☀️The weather had been really nice lately, so you both decided to have a date at the park, and you know how much he loves your dog, so you decided to bring her along

❄"Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, traffic was awful," he apologizes, giving you a kiss on your forehead before taking the seat in front of you

❄Of course, he spends the rest of the day terrorizing the guy that had the audacity to mess with you

☀️You texted him saying you were here, wondering if he was trying to scare you by appearing through the ground

☀️The only thing is that your boyfriend has a horrible concept of time

☀️And the response you got was ellipses and a text in all caps saying he'll be there in ten

☀️You roll your eyes fondly, but then they're widening when she starts off behind you

☀️Luckily, you have the leash on your wrist, so you quickly grab it at the same time you look up to see what caught her attention

☀️"I'm really sorry, she's a huge people person," you say, your eyes falling on a guy that was just walking by, and he crouches down to pet her when he rolls onto her back

☀️"It's totally cool," he says with a chuckle as he rubs over her stomach. "She's really cute."

☀️You huff softly as you shake your head fondly. "She is when it benefits her."

☀️"I was actually talking about you," he says when he looks up

☀️"Oh," you scoff softly in surprise as he stands. "Uh, thank you, but I have a boyfriend," you respond awkwardly

☀️"Oh, come on. I can't just compliment you?"

☀️"I mean, I guess? I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea," you explain, and you take a step back when he takes a step closer to you

☀️"So, where is this boyfriend of yours?"

☀️"Right here!" Mirio says cheerfully as he comes out of the ground, and you jump back in surprise as the guy lets out a shriek

☀️"Now, the real question I should be asking is why you're flirting with someone who's taken. Specifically my girlfriend."

☀️The guy's eyes are still wide, still in shock from Mirio literally appearing out of nowhere

☀️Mirio raises his eyebrows as he waits for an answer, but the guy doesn't say anything as you chuckle softly

🟣You were actually surprised he was running late since he was actually the one who really wanted to watch the movie you were going to see

☀️"Well, if you're not gonna say anything you can go." The guy's quick to run off, and Mirio turns to you saying that he was glad he was late because he got to scare someone, and you roll your eyes

☀️"And I think we have a date to start," he says before taking the leash out of your hands and taking the lead down the sidewalk

🟣He said he would pay for the tickets, so you went ahead and got popcorn to snack on while you waited

🟣He said he had gotten caught up with Eri, and that he'll be there soon

🟣You sit down on one of the benches across from the concessions, checking your phone to make sure Shinsou hadn't texted you

🟣"Anyone sitting here?" you look up from your phone, seeing the guy pointing to the cushion next to you

🟣"Oh, no. Go ahead," you say as you shake your head, scooting over a little bit

🟣"So, what movie are you here to see?"

🟣"The new action movie that came out a couple of days ago," you respond and he nods. "My boyfriend wanted to see it, so"

🟣"You're here with your boyfriend?" he asks as you put some popcorn in your mouth

🟣You nod quickly as you finish the popcorn. "Yeah, well, he'll be here in a few minutes."

🟣You lean back when the guy scoots closer. "Well, I could see it with you. I wouldn't mind going on a date with a pretty girl like you."

🟣"That's okay," you chuckle nervously.

🟣"Come on, your boyfriend's an idiot for leaving you alone like this."

🟣"I'm the idiot?"

🟣You both jump, looking in front of you to see Shinsou standing in front of you, an irritated look in his eyes

🟣Shinsou's pulling you up by your hand, his arm wrapping around your waist as he smirks

🟣The guy can barely get an answer out, but it's just enough because you can see that stoic look in his eyes

🟣"Hey, man. That stuff you got in your hands. Throw that away for me."

🟣The guy wordlessly stands, walking over to the trashcan and throwing away the full bag of popcorn and drink in it

🟣You can't help the chuckle that falls out of your mouth. "Toshi," you start, and then the guy breaks out of his state, his eyes widening when he sees that his hands are empty

🟣Shinsou sends him a wink before walking you towards the theater that's playing your movie