#just because that quote that i posted a few days ago has really been making me think about things

[quatregats]

I know that this is an act of the most extreme hubris and I expect to be struck down for it sooner or later, but what if....I attempted to write Hornblower in the style of Patrick O'Brian....

[under-lore]

About "Tweets aren't canon"

One misconception that one seems to be nearly guaranteed to see brought up by someone whenever discussing Undertale/Deltarune lore with people who are not particularly invested in it is that "Toby Fox said tweets weren't canon".

And, when you first hear it, it actually sounds quite convincing, because this tweet is in fact real and does seem to say that.

So... What's actually going on here with tweets and with this one in particular ?

The actual status of tweets

Before mentioning what's really going on with that specific tweet, i'd like to lay some groundwork first.

For instance, regarding the fact that this tweet dates back from November 2016. And that if the tweet were to be taken seriously, it would mean that no tweets especially after that date are to be treated as canon.

Something that is rather explicitely not the case.

There are several examples for this, although the Gaster tweets which introduced us to Deltarune and directly link up to the game's "Goner Maker" introduction sequence are i would say prime offenders.

Here in these tweets, we are not yet connected, then we are given a way to connect.

Then, we pick this back up where we left it in Deltarune, where we are then asked wether the connection was a success.

This has of course been pointed out to Toby (although he never responded to those messages), and yet it did not prevent him from re-doing the exact same thing a few years later for chapter 2.

In short, the situation is that, to this day, Toby Fox still purposely uses tweets in order to provide important canon-accurate information about his games, with the Spamton Q&A as recently as last year.

In light of that, using that one tweet to say that any information coming from tweets is invalid just can't be right... So one might wonder :

But then, why did Toby say that ?

The problem comes from the fact that this quote is usually cropped like this when people try to share it around :

Which is greatly misleading !

Obviously, Toby Fox's popularity comes mainly from Undertale and later Deltarune. Due to this, and due to the majority of the fandom nowadays being teenagers, many in the fandom are not aware that ever since his own teenage years, Toby Fox has been for the lack of a better term, a massive shitposter. A habit that only started to die out after Undertale's release and in the year that followed. (Though he still shows glimpses of it from time to time)

I mean, we are talking about the person who kept on posting memes on twitter for nearly a decade and who made "a goast poot on u" at the end of the Earthbound Halloween Hack, his first semi-serious game project.

Why ?

Because he's just that kind of "funny guy" and felt like it. His words, not mine.

This was, up until not so long ago, the kind of person that Toby was online.

When taking all this into account and looking back at the un-cropped version of that quote, it becomes pretty obvious what's going on here.

Toby Fox found a bootleg nursery rhyme video of Undertale characters, found that hilarious (As the "funny guy" that he is), and decided to make a shitpost about it. Joking about how this weird thing that he found, right here, was the peak of official Undertale material and might just be more canon in his book than the kickstarter or tweets were.

The post that started this whole thing in the first place was just that, a shitpost, a joke, not something that Toby ever actually meant. Which honestly should have been pretty obvious in the first place, i mean, this is still a post about Toby trolling bootleg nursery rhymes, people. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously...

Besides, that tweet's statement would have been self-contradictory anyways. If tweets weren't canon, then this tweet would not be canon either, etc... Leading to one of those silly paradoxical loops rather than to an actual statement about tweet canonicity.

So then, that brings the question : Why ?

Why do so many people still claim that tweets aren't canon ?

The reason is likely the same as the reason why this misconception was created in the first place : It is a rope to cling on to for some people to defend certain headcanons that Toby had debunked via tweets.

Because yes, between late 2015 and late 2016 Toby used to once in a while answer a question about the lore of the game on tweeter. Leaving some people with their headcanons turning out to be wrong.

(A few examples of headcanons that Toby denied on twitter were that Undyne killed the green soul human, or that ghost monsters used to be humans, for example.)

It was some of those people, in the first place, who started cropping this tweet to make it seem like their headcanons were still on the table and started the mess in the first place.

This rumor, at its origins, was not just a mere misconception but rather a deliberate attempt at misinformation from some fans that weren't happy with the way Toby had taken the game, which is unfortunately still being shared around to this day due to how sensible it seems at first sight.

[wellmetmat]

There's a post from a couple of years ago which I was reminded of and wanted to add to today, about nobody wanting to take the supplicant role in courtship, but it's unrebloggable due to some constraint the OP put on it, so I'll just quote my bit:

Being attracted to someone is distressing. I think the largest part of it is hunger to know someone (?); but when you can’t get to know them well, it ends up a stunted obsession: all that drive-to-know - enough to build a deep, detailed model of another personality - chewing over scraps of phrases and trivial actions, until you’re snappishly bored with your own mind. Your skin feels hungry and there’s nothing you can do about it: “touch starvation” is a phrase that comes to mind. The person’s absence and their presence both hurt: absence obviously, presence because once you’re there you find that there’s still distance, you still miss them. It’s rather like homesickness. Courting someone is wretched. It’s frightening and humiliating and full of agonising waiting periods and jarring mood switchbacks. It feels something like being dragged along on a fishhook, with the line attached to another person’s little finger. Liking someone more than they like you is a position of low power. The incentives are to be servile. You have nothing to bargain with: whatever they decide, you agree to with a smile. You always try to sound happy, because that’s what’s most appealing. You give up on areas of confusion instead of trying to understand, because asking questions annoys people and any annoying act pushes you closer to the cliff-edge of losing them. Any small disagreement feels like a large risk, so you distort your own opinions a bit. You can’t be spontaneous; your inner voice is always tallying accounts: how many days since the last message, too few, you mustn’t bother them yet / how many days since you came up with something interesting, too many, they may forget; don’t intrude so much, but simultaneously what have you done for them lately, how can you provide value to justify remaining in their life. It seems bad that we’re like this. I don’t imagine humans are especially badly formed or anything, it’s probably just as subjectively rotten for every animal that does courtship displays. But if anyone eventually makes robots with emotion-like motivational systems, they shouldn’t include anything like attraction. It’s so silly.

I feel like resurrecting this today to celebrate being out of it. In the last two weeks, somebody has given me the double gifts of liking me and of having the generosity to say so, and show so. All I want to do is be glad and be grateful, and try never to cause this person to experience anything described above.

But I stand by the description, it is a correct description, and we are so badly made it is infuriating. @nohoperadio's good post on the tragic stupidity of pain incidentally also works as a discourse on eros: if there'd been any intelligence involved in the design process, distress signals would come with an off-switch! (Hence my blog tagline.) But instead, evolution is a pitiless idiot, love is humiliation, nonviable attachments take years to starve to death, and there is no moral of the story. Absurd. A baboon could design a better emotional constitution.

Delightfully, this week ACX introduced David Pearce ("For centuries, philosophers have praised suffering as a necessary part of the human condition. For decades, David Pearce has told those other philosophers that they are bad and wrong"), who is doing his best to make a better emotional constitution available, and I approve of such a project so highly that it's been necessary to stack new levels of approval above my previous maximum to encompass how right he is. It's really exciting that any intelligent and active person considers progress of this sort possible and is working on it.

[findmeinthefallair]

I hadn't spotted these a year ago:

Oh my god, guys???!!! Parallels:

2. These are the same face - the Depression Face.

It tugs at my heart like nothing else, because...

3. Oooh never paid attention to this:

4. These lil' guys were moving and animated while sleeping here, aww:

5. The screenshot below, to me, is foreshadowing that Hunter may have expressed his wish to study at Hexside...but once that wish is actually granted, he too is gonna be depressed - at school, specifically - for months, and frustrated that he simply cannot be enthusiastic about classes the way he initially hoped. He'll push and push himself and judge himself for why he "can't even" enjoy lessons he's supposed to be excited about:

6. Do you think they took Hunter to the zoo's bird hall, before he carved Waffles (I personally view it as a good element of exposure therapy)? :

7. People usually put the S1 screenshot of Luz drawing light glyphs, next to the one with Flapjack fading away...but I saw this too:

It makes me wanna chew extra recycled cardboard about Luz and Flapjack parallels, specifically. Because of what they both offered to the world, if you think about it:

8. If Camila went through an outfit change like this in her nightmare:

Imagine the mayhem of Hunter's many nightmares with his many outfits :S

9. A really good reference for how Hunter healed pre-timeskip, is this sequence, where the order has been altered a bit below:

(who knows, maybe Willow recorded a lot of vids of him on her scroll T___T)

10. Wow this sums up the show doesn't it:

11. Ugh you can't tell me that...they wouldn't have had a similar-ish mirror scene with Waffles and older Hunter to these, if we had a full S3 or more seasons:

Him approaching a mirror with no palisman beside him...I can't imagine how that was in those horrible months. (Maybe he does this before heading out to conduct a Palisman Adoption Day)

12. I feel really happy, confidently believing that he unlearned this body language:

in the presence of adults, especially his new parental figures. Coercive control wasn't a dominating theme in his life anymore. And while we didn't see it onscreen, he would've found the space to even initiate connection via physical touch with his parents, like what Luz naturally does here:

I say "physical touch" specifically, because to quote @idlescree's amazing video analyses, Hunter's own physical body - not just his mind - was the ultimate and most intimate battleground for Belos to exert control, by possessing Hunter and using him as a puppet in the most direct way possible. So for Hunter to get physically close to family to express love after Flapjack's death, in spite of terrible spooky thoughts that he might still gravely injure others...that isn't a small feat at all.

13. I think his casual sweater is a plain gold colour, and his cosplay outfit has its yellow colour: because he's still influenced by Belos.

The black of the wolf tee and in the cosplay, feel to me like foreshadowing of his post-possession grief. Even after Flapjack is gone, Hunter still thinks about Belos and is still walking around in the same cosplay outfit. His newfound freedom and healing is reflected in his timeskip design (calm midtones of orange and blue): when Belos has no more hold on him via a painful history. We would see a progression from the predominant darkness of the black colour to those peaceful midtones on his clothing.

14. Best one saved for last! It's a headcanon, but I draw a few connections. @childlikegoblinqueen and I were talking about him likely returning to the place where poor Flapjack was slain, even if it takes a number of years before he can do so. Waffles will be with him.

Imagine...instead of running frantically in the night:

he calmly strolls during a beautiful Halloween evening, with autumn leaves blowing in the wind once again:

There are no horrors awaiting him, and very importantly, he can believe that.

And he visits the spot at the lake, and puts his hand to his chest:

but for once, he can smile while doing that specific gesture. All the times that he has put a hand to his heart in the show, he wasn't smiling (link). He then leaves and then returns to his family (walking in the opposite direction of the portal above) to have an actually joyful Halloween celebration.

[imagionationstation]

Hi IS!! I seriously hope you're actually taking a break from Tumblr and social media instead of reading this haha, but I've been a follower for a few months now and couldn't help but send in a little post after seeing your rant. As someone who grew up with 2012 and adores it, and also as someone who respects Rise for what it is, I understand. 2012 is a huge comfort show to me and I've definitely gotten upset when all people do is go out of their way to tell you how horrible the show is without reason. 2012 is by no means perfect!! I am extremely aware of its flaws, but I don't believe that gives anyone permission to go out of their way just to ruin it for you. To target the one criticism that drives me a bit nuts, the "real brothers" thing. Rise has a very valid interpretation of brothers! But as someone with 3 other siblings, it is not sunshine and rainbows all the time. My older siblings would make me cry, we would fight and get hurt and hurt each other all of the time, my younger sibling would tattle on me, etc etc. But we also look out for each other, and have grown out of many of those things since then. I see a lot of my own sibling situations in 2012. Sure, it doesn't get everything right (and can be purposefully exaggerated because it is a cartoon!!), but it isn't wrong either. Everyone has different family experiences, and believing that Rise is the only correct interpretation of siblings would just be a bit narrow minded. I have many, many more points I could make in regards to the sibling ordeal (and other criticisms you mentioned!) but I'll leave it here for now. Overall, just enjoy what you want to enjoy! This goes for everyone. Someone is always going to want to rain on your parade, don't give them the power to do it. It's so much easier and less tiring to spend your time enjoying something you love over dunking on something you hate. :)

Thank you <3

As I mention over here, not really in a place to drop it yet, but I may sometime in the future. Your support is greatly appreciated!

As someone who grew up with 2012 and adores it, and also as someone who respects Rise for what it is, I understand. 2012 is a huge comfort show to me and I've definitely gotten upset when all people do is go out of their way to tell you how horrible the show is without reason.

Exactly! I have nothing against rottmnt. RISE is a great addition to the TMNT fandom. It has its highs and lows like anything else. It didn't deserve the dislike that many fans gave it in the beginning.

So why does 2012 deserve the exact same treatment after its time is over? Why doesn't it deserve the same respect for its diversity?

They experimented with some awesome and iffy things.

Some things worked and others didn't. Why can't we leave it at that?

I try and read the opinions that say "I like this, this, and this, but-" and ignore anything that is pure hate or comes from an account that has never said a single nice thing about the show.

But even then, it's often always the same old list of complaints.

And, like, Donnie is downright awful with his comebacks but sometimes I find myself doing the daily quote thing to the screen when I come across someone who is being supremely unreasonable.

(Not that I'd ever actually say that to anyone. It's my stress vice.

But. I definitely think it. Very hard.)

To target the one criticism that drives me a bit nuts, the "real brothers" thing.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH BRINGS ME AN UNNAMABLE JOY.

You hit the nail right on the head!!

My family dynamic is so similar to these boys. One of my siblings very seriously told me a few days ago that I am not at all attractive, but a few weeks ago, the same sibling also reassured me that I deserved a love interest so much better than any person the world has handed me. Freakin' Raph impersonator over here.

Literally, I have siblings who interact like Leo and Raph. Constantly trying to be the superior in the relationship and hating when the other bosses them around. But you'd almost never find them apart because they are the other's shoulder to lean on.

I'm not anyone innocent either. I've said lots of things that I didn't mean in the past and I still slip up from time to time. I'm the type of person to be annoyed with a sibling and smack/shove them. My siblings do the exact same! Teasing and mocking and crude words aren't anything crazy. It's just how our fam do family.

I have a sibling who is just as insane and annoying as Mikey, but it's so frustrating because he's either purposefully stirring chaos and then laughing when we get upset, or so innocent and confused when I'm getting mad at him for doing something similar a while later.

We get so tired of it. But it's not his fault. He's untreated ADHD and lives his life to the fullest. What you gonna do? Stifle that? Please.

We get so tired of each other.

But we're always the first to have each others' backs.

Overall, just enjoy what you want to enjoy! This goes for everyone. Someone is always going to want to rain on your parade, don't give them the power to do it. It's so much easier and less tiring to spend your time enjoying something you love over dunking on something you hate. :)

Thank you so much. I always try to remind myself of that, but some days it can be hard. I really appreciate your kind words! I hope anyone reading this is also making note of them.

I don't ever want to be a hater.

Going giddly over the boys being themselves is so much more fun.

[mttcafe]

I’m back!!!!!! do you have any UT or DR merch you wanna show off? :3

YES!!! sooo much. i'll attach everything and then yap under the cut about them. long post incoming! sorry!!!

okay so starting out! i have my plushie collection. i have sans, papyrus, flowey, lancer, and two chapter two ralseis that my bf got me the second he released. one of them is wearing the butler outfit. i got one for free because my first one had stains on arrival. so now i have a second to wear the costume! i also have bootleg sans and papyrus and bootleg asriel.

i have all of the nendoroids sans spamton. the undertale cast is displayed on one shelf and ralsei on another. undyne broke into toriel's house and took the pie that's why she's not on her mountain.

i have the fangamer undertale vinyl boxset! i have the first run boxart with gaster on it [picture included]. he is not in any prints you can get now. i own the fangamer deltarune chapter one and two vinyls as well.

for one of my holy grail pieces of merch, i own the iam8bit undertale vinyls! they stopped making them a long time ago. you can find them average between the 100-200+ range. but the real holy grail is the 7" vinyl. it's in the first picture and then there's a picture of the vinyl attached. it has dogsong on it. it was a preorder bonus for the original vinyl and there were NOT many made because the vinyl went up for preorder in 2015 or 16 iirc. i have only seen like four listings for the dogsong vinyl ever and most sit in the several hundred dollar range. i bought a bundle of the original soundtrack AND the dogsong vinyl for one hundred and fourty dollars. AN INSANE COP. i won. I WON!!!! i had been looking for a good listing for YEARS.

i have quite a few pins although i would like more. i have the flowey fanclub pin, the lancer bike pin. the fanmade ones i own are both mettaton + a ralsei button that i made. on this backpack i also have the mewmew keychain. they stopped selling her a while ago so i had to find her second hand. it was also EXTREMELY difficult to find a listing for her!! but i found one for 15. only two over retail. yay!

i have the cyber city desk mat. i love it very much. i have the nubert beanie that my friend bought me. thanks casper. i have the undertale collectors edition for the switch, and the undertale art book. i have an eshop card that was never active i'm not gonna lie to y'all i just swiped that thing one day. no harm done it's just a piece of cardboard. i own the game on pc, switch, and my xbox. if i owned a ps4 you best believe i'd own it there too. i plan on getting one someday and 60% of the reason is for the ps4 dynamic theme and so i can play all versions of undertale. also i have a lot of undertale stickers and tags, mostly the bonuses from fangamer and such. plus a few art cards from there. oh! and my bf made me that cup + coaster. i love it. when the cup is set down it squishes ralsei.

now for the clothes that i have! i own two sans jackets from fangamer [not pictured i forgor]. i got one in a size too big so had to get a second. i have the shirt showtime, disruption, your best nightmare [it has a little flowey on the back!], the fifth anniversary shirt [it has a bunch of quotes from the game on the back. i love it.], the deltarune hoodie, and the flowey scarf.

as for unofficial clothing, i have two hoodies from etsy. one of them is a chara hoodie, and the other one is a lancer inspired hoodie with a spade that comes down over your face! it's so cool despite the fact i can't see out of it.

i also have a few kandi bracelets that i made and a golden flower headband i made for a cosplay. and with that.. i think that may be it..! i have a few pieces of merch that i really want but that could go into a seperate post. thank you so much for asking! i could talk about this forever haha. if i forgot anything i'll mention it. i'm very forgetful.

shoutout to all the people that have helped me cultivate this collection. a lot of these are gifts or things i've made myself broke buying.

[armando-triplepapito]

heeey! you just answered my post ❤️ to be honest it’s such a stupid affirmation to say that betty has no backbones, she’s the strongest character I’ve ever seen or read about and watching her getting stronger and stronger during her journey it’s so satisfying to me, she makes me feels things I wish I could feel, she accomplished things I wish I could have accomplished it. talking about me personally, watching betty deal with misogyny/racism coming from women and gay men, watching them mock her features, her body, her presence, dehumanising her, it really was a experience where I felt like I was holding hands with her all the way. when she found the letter, her time in Cartagena finding herself, the fashion show where Hugo tries to humiliate the Quartel publicly and she stands up for them. betty taught me something very important “la cabecera de la mesa esta donde yo esté sentada”

“[Betty] is the strongest character I’ve ever seen” exactly and it’s shocking how people don’t notice it! From the beginning we see how resilient of a character she is! It’s not easy to endure rude remarks (Hugo, Gutierrez) and humiliation (Marcela’s comparison) with a stoic face, yet Betty was able to so! She continued with the interview process without batting an eyelash. She acknowledged that the employees (Ig the superiors) were rude yet at the end of the day she laughed it off. If I were her I would’ve cried myself to sleep especially if I experienced Marcela’s comparison! Like how are you going to get my hopes up with a 2nd round of interviews all for yall to compare me to a beautiful woman!! And let’s not forget the whole situation with Armando’s agenda or phone book (whatever it was). The way Marcela went feral to snatch the book from Betty’s hands and how she tried firing her was crazy! I would’ve given her the agenda or definitely quit on the spot ain’t no way I’ll continue dealing with a crackhead. Ik that at the end of the day she needs the job but I just feel like these situations really highlights how mentally strong she is and especially how selfless she is! She’s willing to endure the abuse from her superiors to keep her job that feeds her family! And as someone who’s mentally weak I can’t help but feel jealous of Betty’s mental strength. I remember when I started working at retail job a few years ago I ended up quitting on my third day... All because I couldn’t handle the look of annoyance of my supervisor when I asked questions on how to do my job and how a customer was rude as hell when I struggled finding an item for her. Remembering how Betty endured worse to straight up abuse I can’t help but feel compassion for her yet I admire her fortitude. And tbh, even tho I hate it, it was great how they didn’t hold back with the jokes in ysblf. The mild jokes to the dehumanization help the audience relate to Betty even more since its experiences we all endured in our lives especially when you’re a minority. (I don’t think Betty would’ve had the same impact if they stuck with the mild jokes imo). This why I love the quote mentioned!! It’s so impactful and layered!! To see how far she came with overcoming her low self esteem by standing up to her abusers and making it clear to them that she will not let herself be trampled on again is so satisfying to watch!! Plus she let’s everyone(the shareholders and audience) know that she’s always been the main character 💅

[animasola86]

A few changes are coming...

Hello, dear followers of this very blog.

The title of this post says it all: I am in the middle of re-structuring a few things around here because my focus has shifted a little.

About a year ago I started this blog as a home for my Hogwarts Legacy hyperfixation, I took a deep dive into fanfiction, into oneshots, into smut essentially. I wrote so many things centered around Sebastian Sallow it's almost embarrassing in hindsight. But I am not embarrassed, I am actually quite proud of having been able to write so much, of having a muse to guide my creative (and dirty) thoughts.

It's been a real blessing.

But as you may have noticed, my focus, my fixation, has shifted, fizzled out a little.

It started when I began writing for Professor Sharp, dipping my toes into the older man/younger woman dynamic, and to be quite honest with you, I am still knee-deep (or even deeper) in that trope. It's always been a passion (a secret kink?) of mine to have an age (and size) difference between characters, so eventually I moved away from that particular character as well and focused on characters of my own.

I'm still currently writing my original story Innocence Lost over at @animasolaoriginal (about a cowboy and a girl, a slow burn love story), but the smut writer in me has yearned for something more, so I posted a few Smut Drabbles, very short little smut scenes I couldn't put into my story yet (or ever).

And from that very sentiment of having little outlets for my horribly dirty mind, grew another idea for an original story, something I'm still working on (I'm eight chapters in already), and this time I will finish it first before I post anything, I'm forcing myself to do that, yes I will (famous last words, huh? Don't quote me on that...)!

What I'm trying to say is, this blog, that has been focused around HL and Sebastian Sallow, will turn into the smut blog it has always been, but no longer featuring our beloved freckled pixel boy. I kept my smut drabbles neutral, dropped no names, no descriptions, just, well, faceless porn really, so anyone could imagine any character in the male and female characters portrayed if they wanted to.

I find freedom in doing so, being able to write anything and not put it in the confines that is writing for British characters set in the 1890s without having to put them in various AUs all the time.

And so I'll continue writing what I like, and I hope you will follow along.

I know most of you probably also follow me for my HL screenshots that have mysteriously stopped appearing as well. I still have my vast library of posted screenshots, don't worry, they will stay (everything will stay, this is just about future content), but if I ever dive back into the game (which, tbh, I haven't played in a long while, haven't even updated yet or checked out the new photomode), I will post new screenshots on a sideblog I will have yet to make.

Just to keep this blog cleaner. And smuttier.

Imagine finding my screenshots of pretty Scottish landscapes or cute Magical beasts (or broody pixel boys) and then scrolling down to find a filthy little smut drabble right under it. It just doesn't mix well anymore. (It never did, but I only realize that now, oops, sorry to everyone who probably stayed away from my blog for that very reason).

So, to wrap this up: I will remain a smut writer, if you are in need of a little erotica to spice up your day (or night), you will always find something of the sort right here.

I'm also not leaving the HL fandom, I'm still an active follower (read: lurker), and I feel like my time has come to let other people contribute to it. And if you follow the #sebastian sallow smut tag, you'll find a lot of authors that still mainly focus on him, so if you don't want to imagine him in my anonymous smut scenarios, you'll find plenty of other sources around here, don't worry!

I, for one, want to expand my horizon a little, look into other fandoms. I've read so many fanfics/oneshots centered around characters like Joel Miller (who I loved ever since playing The Last of Us for the first time), Arthur Morgan (who inspired my cowboy phase tbh) and even characters I never knew I needed in my life, like Simon "Ghost" Riley (who I didn't even know before because I never played Call of Duty), but this is tumblr, you are exposed to a lot of things if you allow them in - and it's been an absolute blast to find new things to obsess about.

So I hope that you, dear followers, can forgive me for branching out, for turning this once HL-centered blog into not just a multi-fandom blog, but a place for smut enjoyers of all types.

Because I found my calling, and it's writing porn. It is what it is.

TL;DR:

Future screenshots will find a new home in a yet to be announced sideblog.

The content will become more neutral, so that anyone can imagine anyone in the roles of the protagonists.

(I may still write for specific characters in the future, to be determined which one, maybe I'll return to write for Sebastian Sallow or Aesop Sharp one day, who knows, I still have some unfinished WIPs after all...)

There will always be smut. Because smut is life.

And with that, I thank you very much for reading this far. And I thank you for sticking around, for enjoying my content, in the past and in the future, hopefully. Thank you for your patience with me and for joining me on new adventures!

Cheers!

[tennessoui]

Hello! This might be positively deranged of me, but do you have director's commentary for this ficlet you posted nigh on two years ago (https://rb.gy/4epfmv)? I love it deeply.

I've been following you for a few years now, and I'm very impressed by how your writing has grown. I really love your stories/headcanons/aus. Thank you for everything you do!

(link to a prompt fill for "meeting at the ER") (gffa, vaderwan)

what an amazing memory omg i genuinely love this ficlet, even though it's a great example of how i enjoy taking a very simple prompt (meeting at the ER) and making it as complicated as possible (so obi-wan and vader are on opposite sides of the war and they get injured in the same battle and must recoup in the same med tent but obi-wan doesn't know who is on the other side of the curtain from him because vader's helmet is off so obi-wan hears the voice of a young man for the first time and he can't see him and vader slowly grows obsessed with obi-wan's kindness and obi-wan only figures out it's vader when dooku comes to break him out of the medical wing and vader kills the guy opposite them who told obi-wan to stop talking---)

i adore identity shenanigans in fics. i'm a simple bitch. look at my fics honestly, this shouldn't surprise anyone i have like. 2 fics where veils are used, 1 fic where time travel is used, 1 fic where obi-wan almost fucks an alternate dimension anakin without knowing it's anakin, 1 fic where anakin is deaged and put into obi-wan's care like. i love identity shenanigans SO MUCH it's so fun to write what would happen if pre-conceived notions about someone are forcibly abandoned and you're just faced with who they are as a human and who they could be to you and this ficlet encapsulates that perfectly

shamefully though this part:

“I hope you recover a day after I do, Anakin.” Anakin sounds caught off guard. “What? Why?” “If you are the first to leave, I think I should miss your company.”

is completely ripped off of that winnie the pooh quote about living to be 100 minus 1 day lol i think anakin would be such a winnie the pooh fan no matter how many years he's been vader.

anyway it's about the softness and the normalcy and the kindness obi-wan offers to him!!! when he thinks he's just a civilian who may have fought on the wrong side!! it's his capacity to sympathize and understand and how much vaderkin needs someone to sympathize and understand!!!! it's the power of making connection through small talk <3

there's no way this verse ends with anything other than obi-wan's kindness winning over vaderkin's most horrible actions and impulses and vader being dragged into the Light because he realizes he wants obi-wan's soft words. he wants obi-wan to ask him about his day. always.

(send me a "director's cut" ask!)

[luvcherry]

Let Me In [6] ✾

Natasha Romanoff x Reader. Word Count: 6.6k.

Part Five || Fin. ✾ Complete Chatroom Masterlist  

Summary: Y/n's last day is marked by a realization.

Content: slight angst, slight fluff, bittersweet feeling all around.

A/N: It has been a long, long time since I've posted and I'm sorry about that. This is the last chapter for let me and subsequently my last post on this blog. I had a lot of anxiety when writing up this chapter because I didn't want it to be disappointing. I never intended for Chatroom to become a series nor did I intend to do a sequel, but everyone's support on those fics and wanting to read more kept me going. A lot of the themes of this fic were drawn from my own life, and the ending makes sense for where I stand on old relationships. Happy new year everyone.

Natasha has been thinking about Y/n all night and all day.

She thinks about what happened during and after their outing together, how Y/n will be gone soon, and how she might be feeling. Natasha did not expect Y/n to occupy such a large part of her brain after what felt like a satisfying conclusion to their open-ended relationship. She had to ask her, and answer truthfully, did she really want things to end?

There is no alternative universe where the two end up back together, she believes. It wouldn't be the healthiest thing for either of them. Yet, she finds herself saddened that they may not have any type of relationship, period. Natasha will never be awarded the prize of greatest friend on Earth, but something nags at her to just be a friend for Y/n.

Against what might be her better judgment, she picks up her phone to call Y/n. Her finger hovers over her name before colliding with the screen. She is uncharacteristically nervous; a woman hasn't made her sweat like this in years. Each ring was agonizing as it continued for what felt like forever. What if Y/n blocked her number? What if last night was it for them?

When she closed the door on Y/n last night she felt content until the sun began to set. She wished she had walked Y/n back to the university to keep her company and to spend more time with her. What they did wasn't just a hook-up for Natasha, and she doubts it was for Y/n. There was something special about the way they touched each other -- something special about how Y/n was desperate to be touched. Every moment was euphoric, but in between her existential thoughts, Natasha could not stop thinking about the particular moment where Y/n grabbed her wrist and guided it between her legs to feel how wet she was. It made Natasha gasp even though she wasn't the one with a hand brushing against her clit.

"Hello?"

"Y/n it's me."

There was a few seconds of silence between the two of them. Y/n was wondering why she was calling and Natasha was starting to wonder the same thing.

"Hi, Nat. How are you?"

"I'm good...are you not at the university?"

"No. I went in this morning and walked into a surprise going away party and then they let me take the rest of the day off. It was nice."

"It seems like they liked you. You must have charmed them well."

"Ha! Doing their dirty work? Yes. Charming them? Hell no," Y/n jokes. "But I do think I made a good impression on them. They offered for me to company and with, quote, 'better accommodations'. I think they're trying to entice me to stay."

Y/n spoke to her with ease, taking Natasha by complete surprise. There was no shakiness in her voice or any awkwardness from her. Usually it was Natasha speaking with confidence and leading their conversation. However, this change is nice (even if it's mostly caused by Natasha thinking about how she heard that voice moaning her name about 24 hours ago).

"I'm sorry...I'm rambling," she says sheepishly as she comes back to reality.

"No, it's okay. I was just calling to see...to see if you wanted to do something today?"

Natasha didn't mean for her words to come out so shaky like she was a scared child, but it feels like a lot of pressure is on her. For one she feels like she owes it to Y/n, but she's afraid that Y/n will say no. She's well within her right to say no, but that doesn't mean it would make it easier for Natasha.

"Okay, sure. What did you have in mind?"

Natasha felt a mini panic set in. She was preparing to hear a disappointing 'no' come from the other side of the phone, but here Y/n was saying yes. She indeed wanted to spend her last day in the city with Natasha. She wracked her brain for things the three of them could do together. There is no way she would be able to take a five year old to one of her favorite restaurants. As long as she has been friends with Wanda and been around her kids, she doesn't really know where kids like to go to have fun. The park seems a little bit too boring for a last day treat. 

"How about the zoo?" She rushes out.

 Does Natasha like the zoo? No. She hates the smell and how it's always crowded. It's a gorgeous Saturday morning that it almost feels like Summer is here, so of course she doesn't want to be at the zoo. However, she's not immune to doing something she doesn't like for someone she does like. Plus she remembers how Kennedy has that stuffed giraffe; maybe she would enjoy seeing one in the flesh.

"The Zoo? Kennedy's never been," Y/n sounds like she's contemplating whether it's a good idea or not. By all means, if she wanted to say then Y/n would be more than welcome to. Natasha could just take them to the much calmer river-side of the city. "Hold on, let me ask her."

Y/n steps away from the phone leaving Natasha to simmer in the silence. Her mind fills with doom scenarios in those moments alone. What if Y/n has a change of heart and doesn't want to see her on her very last day? Natasha would be devastated. It hasn't sunk in that she may not see Y/n again for months, years, or even ever again. They haven't exchanged any form of social media yet. All she has is her phone number that Natasha will be too cowardly to call.

"She wants to go! What time do you want to meet up?"

The sense of relief that washes over her almost disgusts Natasha. She's excited to go to the zoo for the first time in her life.

"Great...want me to pick you up?"

"Isn't the zoo going west? You would just be going backwards so we can meet you there."

"Okay. So 11?"

"11 sounds like a plan."

---

Kennedy was ready to drag Y/n through the entrance of the zoo. Y/n had to keep reminding her that they had to wait for Natasha to arrive.

Y/n wondered what made Nat want to do this. She's been extremely kind on this trip, but going to the zoo doesn't seem like her thing. Compromise is maybe a component of the current Natasha. Y/n tries to play it cool when she spots Natasha walking her way. The last time she saw her was when she was between her legs...

"Did I keep you waiting?"

"You kept this one waiting," Y/n gestures to Kennedy, "but five year olds aren't known for patience."

Natasha feels like a stranger with them. Yesterday really threw her for a loop for some reason. She feels unlike herself and hopes Y/n doesn't notice.

"We should go inside now, shouldn't we? Before she throws a fit."

The zoo was just as expected: loud and crowded. It was full of families pushing strollers and fathers holding tiny kids on their shoulders. Kennedy grasps onto Y/n's hand so she doesn't get lost and in-turn Y/n holds onto Natasha's hand to keep her close. She doesn't want to think about it, but Natasha can't stop looking at their hands currently melded together.

"Where should we start?"

Y/n turns to Natasha for her guidance. This was her idea, so she must be familiar with this place, right? It was so much bigger than anywhere Kennedy has ever been before and Y/n doesn't want to overwhelm her. Natasha could see it all written all over Y/n's face; a hidden concern that resides within most parents.

"We could try to find the giraffes," she suggested. An idea that is popular with the child with them.

Y/n was really relying on Natasha, self-proclaimed zoo hater, to guide them through this thing. If there was one thing that was consistent about Y/n through all these years, it's that she finds crowds unnerving. It felt like an instinct to cling to Natasha, the older one who has always been bold no matter what. Their hands are still locked together. Natasha takes advantage of that and leads them onto the zoo's path without saying a word.

Away from the main entrance, the crowd gradually thinned out. Y/n feels like she can breathe again. Natasha herself feels a sense of relief at seeing Y/n relax. The sunlight cast on the trees above caused soft shadows to fall over them. The path of trees brought over a sense of tranquility. Natasha glances over at the two and can't help but think about how beautiful Y/n looks. It made her forget about how much she really dislike this place.

They ease into a leisure pace as they come upon the first few animals on their path. Kennedy was insistent on being the smartest among them and correctly naming every animal before either Y/n or Natasha could. She was a smart kid, naming over half of the animals correctly, but everyone she didn't know was an "annie lope." Y/n would giggle at her silly answer and walk her closer to the dens to read the info cards. She would tell her the correct name, what class of animal they are, and their home of origin. When she was crouched down next to Kennedy like that, it was like they were the only people to exist. Natasha can't help but feel her heart squeeze from two emotions; hope and grief

If her parents had ever done something like this with her when she was young, she certainly doesn't remember. She would remember the warm, unique embrace that can only come from someone who loves you that much. Watching it happen in front of her eyes almost makes her feel like she shouldn't be here with them. She and Y/n's live completely different lives, they always have. Lives that were never meant to fit.

Y/n turns her head and looks at Natasha before gesturing for her to come over with a tilt of her head. Natasha's feet move for themselves and she joins Y/n and Kennedy to become three. Every fiber of her being is telling her to run away; she doesn't "belong."

Kennedy is too young to notice the stiffness in Natasha's body. Instead she begins to list off the facts of the red kangaroos before them as if she had discovered the information herself. The innocent fascination reminded her of everything unobtainable in her life. But, the last thing she wanted to do was ruin the mood.

It soon came time for them to move forward as Kennedy reminded them of their true mission of finding the giraffes.

Y/n let Kennedy keep a tiny bit of distance between them. She wanted to give her that sense of space and freedom she never had, but she kept her eyes directly on her. The distance did allow for Y/n and Natasha to have a moment for themselves. Y/n was too nervous to take it, but Natasha seemed eager to.

"Did you enjoy your trip?"

Y/n takes her eyes off of Kennedy for a split second to look over at Natasha.

"I did," her answer was short and to the point. The awkward dinner and tension aside, this trip wasn't so bad.

When her eyes land back on Kennedy, she finds the comfort to be more vulnerable with Natasha.

"I don't know if I'll come back though."

"Why?" Natasha asks rather quickly. She would hate to be the reason Y/n doesn't want to step foot in this city ever again. Yet, at the same time, she wouldn't blame her. "You didn't enjoy the university?"

"No, that's not it," Y/n sighs. She'll be damned if she talks about her personal life within earshot of Kennedy, so she keeps the topic on her career. "I just have a lot of conflicting feelings after these two weeks.

"Like what?"

"My current career if I'm being honest."

Despite nearly a decade apart, Natasah still understands her. She can hear in Y/n's voice that she's not truly happy, and that she’s confused. Y/n tries to let experience give her the insight she needs but always seems to come out even more confused. She's never truly asking herself the right questions.

"I don't know if I want to do this anymore, and that's so scary. The amount of time and money put into getting me here would all be wasted...it makes me feel shameful even thinking like that."

"Did you think you would love this forever?"

Her question sounds more brutal than she intended it to, but Natasha is curious. And that sincerity in wanting to understand her beyond the surface almost made Y/n give her an answer. She can't bring herself to do it though.

"I can't give you the answer that will solve everything, but one thing my boss told me-"

"The world famous Mr. Stark" Y/n jokingly mocks.

"Yea -- that one," she jokes with her before continuing. "When I was hired by Stark Industries, two other people were hired in with me. One was alright, she works in another department these days, but the other was brilliant. His resume was stacked and he was fresh out of the Ivys. To make a long story short, he didn't even last a year. It's not an easy job, but if you never wanted to be there from the start then the burnout will eat you alive -- and quickly. Tony told us that this job doesn't have to be our life's passion, but we simply have to want to be there. He would say something like 'even the brightest minds dim under an unwilling heart'," Natasha recounts.

It wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it made a lot of sense to Y/n. No one has ever reminded her about that reality. College was an escape from her parents and she picked the first thing that sounded interesting to major in. She wasn't particularly passionate about anything besides finding freedom. Now that life has caught up with her, it's settling in that she has never been living for herself even when she was out of her parent's reach.

"But there was also a time where I absolutely hated my job. It's normal! It's normal, Y/n."

It felt easy to talk to Natasha, something Y/n didn' think she would ever feel again. She remembers those years ago when she would confide into her about her life growing up. That was a time where she felt complete trust in her. That trust was broken years ago, yet she's not hung up on being vulnerable with her. It even felt right doing so.

"I guess you're right. I just worry because this job is really all I have. I could teach, but I don't really see myself teaching," she admits.

Maybe Natasha wasn't the right person to receive career advice from (or at least that's how Natasha felt) because her career is all she has too. Hearing Y/n worry about that while it's a comfort for her that reminds how they're always opposite.

"We're close!" Kennedy's voice interrupts their fading conversation. She points at the sign indicating their close arrival to the giraffe den. Y/n moves her attention back to Kennedy. All NAtasha feels like she can is watch. She watches as Y/n takes the young girl's hand and how she uses all of her might to pull Y/n faster towards the giraffes. "Faster!" She cries out as if the giraffes will disappear any second now. Y/n laughs before telling her there's no rush. It was surreal to see Y/n parent her.

The trip climaxes for little Kennedy when she catches a glimpse of her first real-life giraffe. She can see its head, but nothing else. Groups of people stand along the rail making it impossible for her to get closer. She looks up at Y/n with a desperate look in her eyes. She reaches up at Y/n and jumps up and down. She whines without a single tear falling from her eyes. The usually composed child acting as if she's a toddler again.

"I got her," Nataasha says without a second thought.

If Y/n was shocked then Natasha was absolutely dumbstruck by her own action. She checks back into reality when she has Kennedy in her arms. She was smaller than Natasha realized. She handled her like precious cargo as she lifted her high. "I'm going to sit you on my shoulders, okay?" Kennedy nods even though Natasha can't see her. She has never done this before so she was scared, so she held on tightly. Y/n stood nearby in case she got too scared. Her short legs dangle over Natasha's shoulders as she grabs onto her head. She was fucking up her hair, but Natasha didn't care.

"Can you see them?" She asks, hoping her efforts weren't in vain.

"I can! I can see a baby!"

Y/n couldn't concentrate on the animals in front of her. Her eyes were glued to the figures of Kennedy and Natasha. She was still shocked by her ex-girlfriend's actions. She was frozen in place. No matter how nervous she knows Natasha is, she looks like a natural at this. Kennedy hasn't been personally around that many adults in her life, let alone someone from Y/n's personal life. Y/n was watching her two worlds collide in front of her; the old and the new. It stings herself of years past that this unspoken moment with Natasha is what makes her feel the normalness she has seeked her entire life. Life has the most bitter ways of teaching it lessons.

---------

It was nearing 4 o'clock when they reached the end of the exhibit. Kennedy, of course, wanted some sort of souvenir to take home. There were gift shops filled with all kinds of things to buy, but she went straight to the stuffed animals. Another giraffe seemed like overkill to Y/n who tried to talk her into getting another stuffed animal which was a failure. Kennedy was unsurprisingly insistent on getting a "brother" for her beloved giraffe. Y/n lost the little battle once Natasha chimed in and sided with Kennedy, reminding them both that "everyone needs family."

No one in the city was happier than Kennedy that day. Her excitement wore her out, and it showed in the way she dragged her feet. Y/n took her into her arms for the lengthy walk back to the car. She ended up being lulled to sleep. Natasha walked them back to their car. She wanted to say something, but didn't want to wake a 5-year-old.

"This is us," Y/n announces softly before coming to a stop. "Can you hold this real quick?" Y/n gestures to her tote bag.

"I told you you should've let me carry it on our way back," she pokes before swiftly taking it off her shoulder.

Y/n puts Kennedy in her car seat, moving gently not to rouse her awake. She has alone this what feels like a million times over yet she's always anxious about it. Yet, she skillfully places her in her car seat and buckles her in without an issue. Natasha has been in awe all day by the sweetness with which Y/n cares for Kennedy. She was once a super shy, naive 19-year-old.

"Thank you," she grabs the tote from her, "for holding that and for today."

"It was nothing...just wanted to make sure your last day was fun."

"Well it was something. Kennedy surely enjoyed it, but she wore me out. We don't go out much back at home, so this was surely a treat for her."

"But did you enjoy it too?"

Natasah was growing beyond the point of caring if she sounded desperate. Today had been sentimental for her. She wanted today to have been just as good for Y/n as it was for her.

"Yea...yea it was. I realized I don't really like the zoo, but I do love seeing Kennedy have fun. So it was worth it for her."

Natasha felt a sense of relief at Y/n's admission. She hated that place too. However she agrees with Y/n, it was worth it to see Kennedy happy.

"She really enjoyed being with you," she continues. "I was shocked -- not because it's you or anything -- Kennedy isn't used to being around new people. She can get really shy, but she was comfortable with you."

"I'm happy to have the Kennedy stamp of approval."

Y/n holds an appreciative smile on her face, but she feels stuck. She doesn't want this day to end. She doesn't want to get on that flight tomorrow and head back to her quiet life. It would be painful to admit that out loud. She's enjoyed many moments with Natasha on this trip just as much as she didn't want to be around her. Her name and face are a reminder of such a good and dark time of her life. For the first time since early this morning, she imagines her between her thighs again. She felt a bliss that almost seemed to be never ending, but she'll be gone tomorrow.

"We should probably get going," she blurts out, which she instantly regrets. She's desperate to just stay in her presence for a moment longer, but her heart is beating too fast.

She regrets what she said when she sees her face fall. Natasha didn't want their day to end at what feels too early, but both are too cowardly to admit.

"Right...right. You probably have a lot to do."

She doesn't.

It feels impossible to look Natasha in the eyes. Y/n knows she'll go weak in the knees if she looks at her again. She's too oblivious to notice how close they're getting. She doesn't look up until Natasha makes her. Her thumb begins to stroke her skin.

"I hate how you're always so shy around me. I'm not scary."

Her words burn in her brain as Y/n leans in to kiss her. Her entire body feels like it's on fire as she just stands there while they kiss. She reckons she's already kissing her back, but she isn't aware of her temporary paralysis until her lips move with Natasha's. How a kiss in public feels more scandalous than Natasha's mouth on Y/n's body is beyond her.

---------------------

Natasha was at the age where she didn't quite know how to comfort Yelena.

When her younger sister was just a baby she would stand over her crib and try to quiet her cries by shushing her. It didn't help at all, and Natasha felt like she was doomed with the inability to care for her little sister.

"What happened, Yelena?"

Her little sister looks up at her with big eyes; eyes too beautiful to be red and filled with tears.

"I-I got hurt."

Yelena wasn't supposed to be outside. Natasha was with her friends from the neighborhood when she heard Yelena's familiar cry. Yelena was too young to be outside by herself, but old enough to be able to escape the house. Nat freaked when she saw her sitting on the steps to their house and subsequently the scrape on her knee; gushing and bright red. Yes, Yelena wasn't supposed to be outside, but Natasha knows she's responsible for her sister whenever her parents aren't around. It didn't matter that she had snuck outside to find her older sister to play with it. What matters is that Yelena is hurt.

"Stay here, okay?"

Yelena is afraid to be alone again, but she nods her head, trusting Natasha wholly. Natasha feels shitty for letting this happen even if it wasn't her fault. She could've stayed in with her and seen her friends another day. Though the idea of 'another day' was scarce, it didn't matter.

She hurries to find the antiseptic and band aids in the medicine closet. She didn't want to leave Yelena alone for too long in a paranoid fear that she would somehow get hurt again.

The tears had stopped by the time Nat came back, but she still feels bad seeing Yelena's red face. She kneels in front of her and begins to tend to her wound.

"Be still, okay?"

Natasha felt like her words were warning enough to brace Yelena for the sting. However once the alcohol meets the wound, she begins wincing in pain.

"I said be still!"

"But it hurts!"

Natasha sighs in frustration, but she tries not to show it. Yelena is too young to withstand pain like she is able to. She's annoyed that Yelena won't stop wincing as she tries to clean her up. Annoyed that this only happened because of Yelena's persistence to be around her big sister. The love and admiration that fills in her little sister's eyes annoy Natasha. She wishes she could do more to take away Yelena's pain, both physically and more. She feels useless even as she places the band-aid over her skin to begin the healing process on her wound.

"All better?" Yelena asks with a shaky voice.

"All better, kid. Now go back in the house before mom and dad find you out here."

Despite being sent inside, there was a big smile on Yelena's face. That's all she wanted. Natasha found that she couldn't stay out for too much longer. Not because it was getting late, but because Yelena needed someone, and she was that only someone.

------------

"If you did it the first time, you can do it one more time, okay? There is nothing to be afraid of. I promise!"

Y/n was confused as to why Kennedy decided at 6am that morning that she's afraid of airplanes.

She remembers how excited she was at the airport in Arizona to get on a plane for the first time. It was Y/n who was on the verge of a breakdown when it came time to board their plane. The switch over two weeks is what's confusing her, but she finds that it's futile to try to question the mind of a 5 year-old.

"Don't you miss Ms. Bridgette and all of your friends at school?"

"Y-Yes...I'm just scared," she says with a pout.

Y/n feels like her worries about pulling Kennedy out of her usual environment too early may have messed her up. She had gotten used to this hotel room and now she has to leave.

"It's okay to be nervous and scared, Kennedy," Y/n grabs onto her hands knowing that it brings her comfort. "I get scared too, but I think about everything that makes me happy to feel better."

If Y/n were to name everything that makes her happy, the list would not be that long. Leaving her and Kennedy's home for the first time in a very long time made her realize how quiet and mundane her life is. She takes Kennedy to kindergarten, goes to work, picks Kennedy up, and they come home. Here it feels like they have unlimited options for everything: food, fun, and opportunities. Maybe the reason for Kennedy's fit was her reaction to the vacation ending. She can't really blame her for that, she found herself feeling sad about it too.

Natasha would be here in about 30 minutes. She wants Kennedy to settle before she comes to get them. Y/n was more nervous about seeing her again than for the flight home. She feels some sort of regret for agreeing to let her take them to the airport. She wanted to use the excuse that she couldn’t drive her rental, but she simply agreed to let her do it. "It's the least I could do" she kept telling her, and that seemed to be the sentiment she has held her entire stay.

She grew anxious as the time ticked away for the two to check out of the hotel and for Natasha to pick them up. She was going to drive herself crazy by continuously checking her phone for the time or to see if she had reached out to her. Y/n’s anxiety was more palpable than she would have liked to admit. Kennedy could sense it and clung to Y/n as she checked every single corner of their hotel to make sure they had packed everything.

How would their final goodbye go?

If anything, Y/n was more scared of some big epiphany hitting her seconds before boarding the plane. A deep part of her accepted this trip to receive some closure, but what closure was becoming blurry. Would she maintain some sort of contact or even friendship with Natasha? She likes the person she has become, she thinks. She seems like she’s trying her best to not be the pompous bastard she was in her 20s. It seems like she’s trying to be more considerate but it’s funny to Y/n because it’s a little too late. All she wanted for years was an apology, and indirectly her acceptance. Yet she can’t shake the feeling that accepting ‘the least she could do’ means she’ll always be dependent on her.

Y/n’s phone starts going off which breaks the daze she was in. It was Natasha calling her.

“I’ll be down in a minute. We’re gonna check out.”

She hangs up the phone without letting her get a word in. She doesn’t mean to be so rude, but her own anxiety and Kennedy’s fit this morning has her on edge.

“You ready?”

The child was hesitant but nodded her head and grabbed onto Y/n’s hand.

It feels as if the whole hotel is checking out today as Y/n navigates her way through the lobby with Kennedy. Natasha was there waiting for them, something Y/n didn’t ask her to do, but something she felt was necessary.

“Do you need me to grab anything?”

“Yeah, can you grab my suitcase?”

She was there every step of the way to help them. Y/n didn’t calm down until her back hit the passenger seat of the rental. She stared out the window, looking at the skyscrapers in a similar fashion to Kennedy when they first arrived in the city. Every building and all the people in them make her feel so small, but in a way that comforts her.

“I hope you enjoyed your trip,” Natasha interjects into the silence. She notices how quiet Y/n is and it’s sort of bothering her. She knows she is likely the reason for the prolonged silence, but she knows things don’t have to be this way.

“I think I did. At least I hope I did too. I feel like it’s made me more confused than ever before,” she admits. Y/n is hesitant to delve into the details with Kennedy in the backseat. However when she looks back to check on her she sees that she’s dozing off. It’s going to take some time to get to the airport with the traffic, so it’s no surprise that she’s out before they even arrive. Seeing her sleeping, relaxed face feels like a weight lifted off of Y/n’s shoulder. They were getting on that plane regardless, but she wanted to do it without a major public breakdown.

“Do you think you might come back?”

Y/n turns forward again, her eyes lingering over the side of Natasha’s face in the process. She could never, ever read her. It’s the pangs of the past that make a part of her wonder if she’s being sincere or if he’s just waiting for her moment to make a power play. However, it seems like she’s the only one who understands what she has to say.

“I don’t know. It’s definitely an exciting feeling being here, but I assume it gets boring if you visit a lot or live here. I liked the university, but I’m not sure if I would fit in.”

“You don’t think you fit in anywhere though, Y/n.”

She doesn’t intend to come off as harsh, and luckily for her Y/n doesn’t take it that way.

“I know, that’s the problem. It feels like something is wrong with me even though I’m able to function in “normal” society with everyone else. Still, that’s not enough to make me feel stable or like I know myself.”

“If I can be frank with you, you’ve got to stop worrying about old shit. It’s written all over your face. I know it’s easier said than done, but I say this to try to get through to you. What keeps you up at night is not going to matter when you wake up in the morning. Not your parents, not whatever happened in college, and not me. You’re too young and too pretty to be worrying about all of that.”

Y/n feels her face growing hot from Natasha’s words. The mentions of her college years and indirectly their relationship. And the fact that she called her pretty. Since she took responsibility for Kennedy she finds that she thinks less and less about herself and her appearance. It’s a nice break from those insecurity, but much of what Natasha says rings true. She has too much time ahead of her to worry about a failed college relationship. When she thinks about the people she knew in college, she remembers fondly how they had a handful of their own failed relationships. Y/n is not alone in her lack of successful relationships no matter how isolating it feels. Natasha herself doesn’t have anyone romantic in her life and that’s probably due to her own hang-ups. Y/n, never being the one to pry, wonders what goes on in that head of hers.

“I guess I should get over it, and you, shouldn’t I?” Y/n doesn’t believe the words that’s coming out of her own mouth, but it feels like a victory. She always fantasized about giving Natasha a piece of her mind for breaking her heart like that.

Natasha swallows hard, not knowing what to say next. She wants Y/n to get over whatever is holding her back, but she doesn’t want to say it in a way that will make the situation go left. She’s surprised that they’ve even gotten this far in this particular topic without someone getting riled up.

“If there is still any part of you that likes me as Natasha your friend, can you promise me that you’ll get out of your own head?”

“If you do the same, then yes.”

There is unspeakable code between two people who share similar traumas. There is an understanding that you can either come out feeling like you appear unscathed or you feel like you’re completely marred and everyone sees it. There is struggle every step of the way. Y/n and Natasha's restricting and uncertain upbringings turned them into anxiety-ridden adults always worried about what's going to happen next; they just show it in two different ways. Natasha is not as tightly wound as Y/n is. Her anxiety is concealed by her workaholic nature; busying herself as a distraction. Natasha took advantage of that, she knows it, and she will be sorry for it for what feels like forever.

They have these conversations where they, admittedly mostly Y/n, skirt around the direct topic of their relationship, name the difference in age and maturity. She’s always felt so young and naive that it felt natural assuming that role in the relationship. She’s gonna be 30 in a few years and she doesn’t want her life to be marked by this naivety. She’s not a little girl being held hostage by her overzealous parents. She’s free to do what she wants.

“We could both treat ourselves a little better, couldn’t we? You’re trying to work your problems away and I don’t leave the house to avoid them.”

“We’re both dysfunctional.”

“We’re both dysfunctional.”

There’s a quiet lull the rest of the way to the airport. Y/n may have not gotten every little thing off of her chest, but she knows Natasha can read between the lines of their own secret language.

Y/n feels like she’s in a movie where one little trip, two weeks out of her comfort zone, has changed her. She knows it’s a change and she’s hoping it’s for the better. Natasha will always be the first person who broke her heart, but she will also be the person who made her feel as comfortable as possible here. Kennedy seemed to like her too.

Airports are consistently busy. There were just as many people dropping off cars and piling onto the shuttles to head back to the airport. Natasha was able to squeeze her way onto one with them much to Y/n’s objection.

“How are you going to get back to your car?” She had parked in the parking lot of the bank next to her hotel. There were so many steps for her to take simply just to do this that it felt like a big inconvenience for her.

“If you saw my uber history to and from the airport, you might pass out.”

Natasha’s insistence to be there every step of the way was still slightly baffling for Y/n, but she appreciates it. For a moment it feels as if they’re operating as a unit: Natasha, Y/n, and Kennedy. It felt that way yesterday at the zoo too, but she didn’t want to think about it then.

They make it to the airport and quickly to the departures’ terminal. This is where it ends for the two of them.

“Well, this is us.”

“This is you.”

Natasha is tempted to walk them inside to the point where she can't go any further with them, but she doesn’t make that suggestion.

“I’m going to miss you, okay?” She admits.

It’s a little shocking to Y/n that he’s showing this kind of emotion when she feels like they hadn’t done that much together over the course of her trip. But about 80 percent of their time together was enjoyable. Y/n enjoyed the second dinner, the trip to the couch, and yesterday’s day at the zoo. It was lovely to do something with someone she felt understood even if she wanted to hate her. She can’t hate her, especially not when she looks at her face. Her features had softened over their years and there are obvious signs of aging that Y/n finds attractive. A part of her wishes this fresh start between them could continue and Natasha could come with her, but life doesn’t work that way and she can accept that this time around.

“I’ll…I’ll miss you too Nat. Maybe I will come back to visit, who knows. Maybe Kennedy will drag me back to that little weird café. Who knows.”

Natasha would be damned if she let their goodbye be any more awkward than their first meeting in years. She grabbed Y/n and wrapped her arms around her. Y/n was stiff in her arms until she felt her relax. Y/n inhaled her scent, something she had never forgotten even years later.

The two of them feel a little arm wrap around the legs and look down to see Kennedy hugging them both. She hates to be left out and joined in on a moment she doesn’t quite understand. To those around them they probably look like something they are not; a family. How other people perceive them, and her, doesn’t seem to matter that much to Y/n anymore. She’s happy. Happier she’s been in a long time. She feels soft lips press against her cheek before one last tight squeeze. Neither want to let go, but it’s important that they do.

“Will I see you again, Y/n?”

The desperation in her voice was hard to ignore. Y/n sort of liked that.

“Maybe, Nat.”

[kimaixun]

[After Office Hours] - [SKZ Yang Jeongin x M!Reader]

“Push 1 mil of epi. Charge to 120, clear!”

“You’re under arrest for attempted homicide!”

“Fire Department! Call out!”

“5,6,7,8 Music Start!”

The profession that we chose will always be the rollercoaster in our life. Be it an artist, a singer, a writer, a firefighter, a police and many more others. Each and every personnel in this world go through their own way. This was a story of two doctors, successful in their own sectors, one a cardiologist, the other a neurologist. Both worked in the same hospital, under the same boss, nothing really special except for the fact, they can never be in the same room.

Their names are Yang JeongIn and F/N M/N. Yang JeongIn was a child prodigy, following after his father footstep. He skipped a few grades, got himself into Harvard and on his way to medical school. He graduated successfully with flying colours and one would be proud of where he stood.

F/N M/N on the other hand came from the Guryong slum, a place where has long been seen as symbol of the gap between the rich and the poor in South Korea. M/N wasn’t born wealthy but, he did made it though blood, sweat and tears to where he is right now.

M/N and JeongIn met years ago, on their first year of resident. They hated each other’s gut, so much that they won’t stand a minute in a trauma room alone without killing each other. There was once when the two fought with an open patient on the operating table, almost causing a death because they didn’t realise the patient SATS were dropping in the midst of their argument. Every since then, the entire hospital knew never to put them on one case unless it was a life and death situation.

“Dr Kwan, you might want to write the following. I need an hourly Neuro check for bed 42, Mdm Lee. Make sure the post ops reports are updated by the end of the night and also, for bed 35, once the glucose level is on a standard level, you may proceed to remove the drip.” Dr Yang JeongIn, commanded his intern as they walked down the busy hallways of the hospital.

“Yes sir. It will done and dusted,” Dr Kwan, the intern saluted the doctor before parting ways.

“So, Dr Yang, it’s Friday night. TGIF. Wanna go to the club?” Kim SeungMin, a fellow doctor, asked the other as they stood beside each other at the nurse station.

JeongIn huffed and rolled his eyes, “it’s Friday, yes, TGIF but tomorrow is also my day off for the week. So I would like to drink champagne in bed as I fall asleep for the rest of the night peacefully.”

“Boooooringggg.” SeungMin pretended to yawn. “Anyways, wanna hear some gossips?”

“We are doctors, Hyung. Surgeons, not high schoolers, do we really have to gossip?”

SeungMin giggled and link an arm across JeongIn’s shoulder, “this time, yes. It’s about Dr F/N. I heard he is seeing Dr Adams, the intern.”

JeongIn quickly turned his head to the other, “what?” As much as he wanted to keep his composure, he couldn’t help but got his interest attracted.

“I was walking by the intern’s locker room and Dr Adams was announcing to the others about having pinned to the door by Dr F/N and he said, I quote ‘he’s a beast’.” SeungMin whispered.

“Who’s a beast?” Dr F/N M/N grinned as he popped beside his rival, JeongIn, passing some case files to the nurse.

“That’s my queue to leave. See ya around JeongIn.” SeungMin quickly turned to leave the two.

“Hi, Dr Yang.” M/N greeted the other, trying to ignore the fact that he could see steam rising above his head.

“Interns? Really?!” JeongIn glared at the other before smacking a case file to M/N’s chest before pushing pass the latter, bumping their shoulder hard that M/N swore it was going to drop off. M/N watches as JeongIn walks away.

“Seriously? Just a minute. A minute of you guys standing beside each other and you already wanna have each others throat?” Staff Nurse Lee MinHo shook his head appearing beside M/N.

“I said, ‘Hi’ and all he replied me was ‘Interns? Really?!’. I am confused because hell I don’t even know who the hell are the interns around here. I barely walk around the hallways during office hours and hell, I barely speak to anyone except you guys.” M/N ranted, “I said ‘Hi, Dr Yang’, I greeted him but, he looked like he was a sauna. He was FUMING.”

“One day, I just might lock the both of you in a room. Who knows you guys might just come out with little M/N’s and JeongIn’s.”

“Soon.” M/N muttered under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” M/N smiled, “I am officially off shift. It’s already after office hours for me but, I’ll be in the on-call room so, Hyung, please don’t let anyone enter it.”

“You know, it’s after office hours already so, you can go home,” MinHo said.

“TGIF Hyung. I’m waiting for my date.” M/N reasoned and walked away.

“Date?” MinHo asked in confusion, “wait, did you say date?!”

Meanwhile, in the Emergency Room, Yang JeongIn stared into the case file mindlessly. SeungMin’s words was roaming around his head about M/N and the intern. It couldn’t be through right? M/N wouldn’t date an intern. M/N barely walks around the hospital how could he know Dr Adams in the first place?

“Earth to Dr Yang,” Staff Nurse Han JiSung, waved his hand around in front of the doctor. “Shouldn’t you be off shift already? It’s 8pm.”

JeongIn looked to the clock and silently cursed. He was late, very late. The doctor quickly whipped out his phone seeing a few text messages from a certain someone.

‘I swear I don’t understand what you just said’

‘I beg you to explain to me please’

‘I love you, only you okay?’

‘I’ll be waiting.’

‘Where are you? Caught up on a case?’

‘Im at the lobby.’

‘Im still here.’

‘Love?’

“I need a doctor here!” A nurse called out as she pushed a middle aged man on a wheelchair into the ER. The Man was restrained to it as he yelled, struggling to break free.

“Trauma three.” JeongIn beckoned the nurse as he ran to them.

“Alex McAlester. Aged 35, the taxi driver drove him here when he started to experience nauseous and dizziness whilst on his way to the airport. He became delirious and aggressive after so.” The Nurse explained.

“Sir, my name is Yang JeongIn, I’m a doctor here, I’m going to help you but, you need to calm down.” JeongIn said. The man looked at him confused, despite the angered expression that he had. “I’m going to remove your restraints so, calm down. You are in good hands.”

JeongIn proceeded to untie one of the restraints off the man. At first the man was calmed, until JeongIn proceeded to remove the second restraints was when hell broke loose. Everything happened so fast. One second he saw the man grabbing the metal IV stand aiming towards him and the next, he was pulled back into someone’s embrace.

“No. One. Touches. My. Husband.”

As if the time had stopped, JeongIn felt his heart pounding against his chest. He looked up to see none other than his husband, F/N M/N hugging him so tightly, almost knocking the breath out of him with one hand, while the other had stopped the IV pole aimed to him.

“Get security.” M/N told the Nurse as Dr Seo ChangBin, one of their colleague and himself went to restraint the patient onto the bed again. JeongIn felt heat rushing to his cheeks as he exited the room.

“Did I just see what I just saw?” Staff Nurse MinHo eyes widened, “did he just said husband and saved you from that man like some sort of fairytale?” He scooted over to JeongIn. “You are the date?”

“What date?”

“M/N ended shift like hours ago but, insisted to be in the on-call room then he mentioned that he was waiting for his date. Now that whatever happened in front of happened, it means you are the date.” MinHo simply explained. “Are you okay?”

“I’m o—, Woah.” JeongIn was cut off when M/N exited the room, cupping his face and scanned through his body.

“Are you hurt? Did he touch you? Are you okay?”

“Im feim if yum stophw squshming maaai faceeuuu,” JeongIn mumbled.

“Oh thank goodness you are okay. My heart stopped for a second.” M/N sighed in relieve, “love, you didn’t reply my text, I got worried so I just had to come down here to find you.”

“Love?” MinHo smirked.

“We agreed to announce to the chief first.” JeongIn pouted.

“I know but, well, you can’t blame me. It’s after office hours and technically both of us are off duty.” M/N said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I promise I am. Thank you for saving me.” JeongIn added, “I am mad at you actually. There’s rumours going around that you’re sleeping with Dr Adams.”

“Oh that!” MinHo interjected, “no no Dr Yang. You got it all wrong. The Dr Adams was referring to was the doctor who has the same name as Dr F/N. His a peds doctor. Not your man. Hell, I doubt half the hospital has knows what F/N even looked like. He barely spent his time outside of the OR.”

M/N chuckled, “and so now, we know. Are you still mad?”

“I’m Sorry,” JeongIn muttered feeling so flustered to jump into conclusion.

“It’s okay love.” M/N smiled, planting a quick kiss to JeongIn’s forehead.

“So, anyone wanna explain what is going on with this?” MinHo flailing his hand to the two of them, “just a few hours ago, or at least for as long as you’ve been here, the two of you are on each other throat. I thought one day you might really kill each other.”

“M/N and I are married. We have been for awhile now. The whole rivalry, hating thing is just a norm to us.” JeongIn explained.

“Thus, work is work. Love is love. To which why we invented our ‘after office hours’ rule.” M/N added.

“Why wasn’t I invited? I’m hurt.” MinHo gasped dramatically.

“Cause we hated each other so much and it’s fun to see all of you suffer when you are under our service.”

MinHo rolled his eyes “You guys are an evil couple.”

“We know.” M/N grinned as he links an arm across his husband’s shoulders, planting a kiss to JeongIn’s head. “Shall we go? I planned a date for us.“

“Okay sweetie.” JeongIn tiptoed to kiss M/N’s cheek.

“Disgustingly sweet.” MinHo fake gagged causing the two doctors to laugh wholeheartedly.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks @theeccentricraven here, @somethingclevermahogony here, @the-golden-comet here, and here, @happypup-kitcat24 here, @mysticstarlightduck here, and here, and @writingamongther0ses here!

Rules: answer the given questions as an OC, then provide three more questions!

Welcome to Round Three! Eight in one worked well enough, so I'm cutting it off here for now. Yes, I still have more tags in this game.

Find the Masterpost for all previous OC questionnaires here!

Some of these were a giant questionnaire but I recognized several sets I've answered before in the regular tag, so I just selected ones I haven't done yet.

See below Maddie, Ash, Noelle, Ewan, Jazlyn, Lexi, Alex, and Carmen!

#1 - Maddie

What is your favorite song/book/movie/show/game/story/tale/other media form to quote from?

“I reference Star Trek a lot. It's fun because not a lot of kids my age get it. But Wade gets them. And my sister Lexi of course.”

If you could replace one person in your life, who would it be?

“Brycen. With a nicer Brycen.”

If you could make one thing in life easier going forward, what would it be?

“Hm. I would get rid of boredom. I hate being bored.”

✨ Maddie intro post ✨

#2- Ash

Do you have any nicknames? If not, what should they be?

“Ash is a nickname. I really don't like Ashley. Ugh, just saying it makes me cringe. It's almost like Ash is my real name, haha. But I can't think of any other nickname I could go by.”

What is the bravest thing you've ever done?

“... I think standing up to Mr. Jimenez and admitting I was wrong to Lexi. Confronting those feelings and issues.”

Are you a good liar?

“... I have no idea. I don't particularly like lying. But I have to around Mary's family. I think I'm okay. They seemed convinced enough.”

✨ Ash intro post ✨

#3- Noelle

What is the most important meal of the day?

“... What, is this a trick question? Of course it's breakfast. It's a breaking of the fast from the previous night - that's why it's called breakfast. So many people skip breakfast or barely have anything for breakfast, and it's super unhealthy. Hye-Jin has a protein shake?! I'm slowly introducing my friends to healthy breakfasts that will make sure their 'not hungry in the morning' bodies get the nutrients they need to ensure they have decent amounts of energy for the rest of the day. [Pause as she realizes how much she has spoken] So, yeah, my answer is breakfast.”

What drives you to succeed?

“Drives me to succeed? That's an odd question. I just do things so I can succeed. I'm my own person, and I just do what's necessary. I also want to make my mom proud of me.”

Have you ever gambled? (Not just with money)

*gapes* “No? That sounds irresponsible.”

Other Noelle: OC in three, OC in fifteen, bingo, bag, origin, outfit, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, fun facts, picrew

#4- Ewan

If you had to decide between rescuing your beloved and keeping your clothes nice, which would it be?

“What kind of question is that??? Why would I keep my clothes nice over rescuing Jazlyn??! I - I mean, my, uh *clears throat* my beloved....”

What is your favorite place to be?

“The Farmington Theme Park. Jazlyn and I met there.”

What was the worst thing you've ever been forced to do, either by orders, or by circumstances?

“The worst thing? That's hard to say... A few years ago, Jazlyn, Tyler, and I uncovered some stuff with our friend Anathi, and we were forced to leave without Anathi. Not being able to confirm what happened to him was the worst part.”

Other Ewan: OC in three, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, kiss, Picrew

#5- Jazlyn

What is your worst nightmare?

*laughs* “I do not get nightmares. I mean, if I did have a nightmare, it would probably be me fighting this one character in the amusement park and in fighting this loser, I lose control of my powers and everything catches on fire and everyone I know and love gets caught in the flames and burns alive right before my eyes while I can do nothing to stop it. But, y'know, that's if I had a nightmare.”

Do you have any favorite bedtime routines?

“I put on lotion, put my hair up, put on my nightcap, and crawl into bed. That's it. That's the end of it. It's just going to bed. Though sometimes Ewan and I will throw on a movie and we'll fall asleep together.”

What's your favorite scent?

“It is absolutely lavender. We have lavender everything in our house. Everything that can be lavender is.”

Other Jazlyn: OC in three, interview, picrew, kiss, questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#6- Lexi

How do you feel about crying? Let it out or hold it in?

“Unfortunately, I have to let it out. I can't control my crying. Honestly, I don't think you should be ashamed to cry. Like, it's natural. I mean, I'm annoyed that everyone thinks I'm a crybaby, but I'll get over it. I can't hold in my tears even if I wanted to.”

Who do you live for? Why?

“All of my friends, of course! And that includes Maddie. I have to live for them because of how much I care, obviously! I love hanging out with them and having fun! I just can't bring myself to let them down. I mean, they do so much for me! It wouldn't be right.”

What style of accessories do you wear? Is it willingly?

“Uh, yeah it's willingly! I wear some jewelry, but usually it's just a simple necklace and cute earrings. I got my ears pierced for my sixth birthday, which was before people touching me bothered me. I usually just wear studs, but sometimes I'll wear something else!”

✨ Lexi intro post ✨

#7- Alex

Are you a jealous person?

“Pffft, nooo! What is there to be jealous of? I mean, it's not like I need attention from everyone 24/7 or I'll die or anything! For crying out loud, it's okay if I share the spotlight! [Pause] oh my goodness I sound jealous. That was not my intention, I'm actually being genuine!! Great, now they don't believe me.”

Have you ever committed a crime?

“Woahhh hoolllld up, what kinda question is that? Hahaha, that's actually really funny. I've jaywalked before, I guess? *Beckons you closer, whispers* okay, I've stolen some candy bars from a convenience store before, heehee. It's not my fault they're not warding off teleporters.”

Are you neat or messy?

“Oh, so messy. So, so, so messy. Y'know that's the biggest difference between myself and Lexi. She freaks out if there's something outta place or something doesn't go according to plan, but not me! On that last question, I think the most illegal thing she's ever done is talk when the teacher is talking, hahaha!”

Other Alex: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#8- Carmen

What's your favorite movie?

“I don't have time to watch movies. [Pause... pause...pause...] Alright, when I was younger, I used to watch this one movie called *cringe* A Love Forged In Time. Completely ironically, of course. It was about a modern chronokinetic falling in love with a scientist who was on the council that organized the database. Science fiction, of course, since chronokinetics can't travel through time. I only watched it because I liked the actor who played the scientist. [Pause as she's realized she's revealed too much!!!!!] It is no longer my favorite movie because I don't watch movies anymore!”

How do you get along with your in-laws, if you have any?

“I don't have in-laws.” She is suddenly uncomfortable and refuses to talk more about it.

What would be your favorite store at the mall?

“I don't know how Ceteri malls are, but I usually went to stores that had home organizers and stationary. Now, leave me alone to work!”

Other Carmen: OC in three, OC in fifteen, Picrew, interview, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, smash or pass, two truths and a lie, art

Woo! Finally done with this post. This was fun.

I'll tag... @elizaellwrites @kaseylynnwriting @ohnomybreadsticks @winterandwords @oh-no-another-idea

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's questions are: 1) What's your favorite thing to do when you're alone? 2) Who is the person you're most jealous for and why? 3) What is one thing a person could do that will immediately turn you off from them?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[skippyv20]

Hi Skippy & Friends-Pilgrim here wondering about that photo of nacho and statement supposedly posted by him. I wanted to know when it was taken as he looks younger and did a search of 40 pages on Getty Images until I found that year’s floral Verve Clicquot Polo wall decor-each year is different. I also have copied an article about that event including a quote by Nacho on the Harkle’s. It seems Nacho met PH in 2007 at the Sentebale Polo Event with Prince Seethso in Lesotho Africa. As a Clicquot spokesperson for many years, it also seems like Nacho is supposed to have lots of fun with the famous bubbles celebrating the winners of matches. His wife Delfina who has started playing in recent years on mixed teams, is equally a spokesperson at these very fancy events. She has her own fashion line called Acheval Pampa. Nacho rose to fame as the face for Ralph Lauren Polo and player on their Black Watch Team, being discovered during the Hampton’s Polo season in 2000. Together, they must be doing VERY well owning a 30-acre ranch in Argentina where he breeds polo ponies. Busy people while raising 4 children.

Here is a report by Polo Weekly titled “What You Missed At The 12th Annual #VCP Polo Classic” which is when this photo was taken- June 1, 2019, 12th annual Verve Clicquot Polo Classic (VCP) at Liberty State Park which is located across the harbor from lower Manhattan in New Jersey.

“There is no other Saturday in New York City like the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic — jumpstarting summer with the hottest polo game of the season. There is no other like the first Saturday in New York City (New Jersey to be precise) when Veuve Clicquot jumpstarts summer with the hottest polo game of the season against a backdrop of downtown Manhattan.

Star-player Nacho Figueras and his wife Delfina Blaquier naturally played for Team Veuve joined by celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, Michael B. Jordan, Julianne Moore, Emily Ratajkowski, models, Instagrammers, and plenty of friends for a bubbly toast.

We’ll cut to the chase and reveal that Team Veuve Clicquot won with a score of 11 to 10! Clara Casino, a friend of the duo, was deemed the Most Valuable Player. The game was also special in that the field had an equal amount of male to female players. Figueras wrapped up the game by spraying the crowd with a gigantic bottle of Veuve.

This year marks the 12th annual event at Liberty State Park across the Hudson in New Jersey. Starting in 2008, after a 70-year polo absence in NYC, the event began as a small gathering of 250-people. Now gathering tens of thousands of individuals, the event also takes place in Los Angeles. The event continues to carry the brand’s namesake after Madame Clicquot, the 27-year-old widow who shaped the champagne house over a century ago. The Polo Classic continue to pay homage to the event that brings polo lovers and champagne advocates together.

We spoke to Figueras a few days earlier at the Polo Bar in Midtown, and he revealed that this is a “special polo tournament” because he plays in the shadows of all the NYC skyscrapers on one side and the Statue of Liberty on the other.  “It gives me the chills every time“ Figueras wrote in an Instagram post. There truly isn’t another tournament to match the swoon-worthy vista, the red carpet (orange in this case) worthy looks, and the world-class polo. The event also followed Figueras’ statement in support of his friend Prince Harry. He had flown out to play at the Royal Sentable charity match in Rome just days after the birth of his son and got a flood of critique from tabloids.

“The world thinks they know everything about this man. I have been fortunate enough to spend enough time over the years to learn and understand the man he really is, a kind, generous, compassionate person who is constantly thinking about how to make the world a better place, whether that is helping kids in Africa, talking openly about mental health, encouraging children or talking about climate change and the things that we all human beings need to change for the next generations. I see him do that over and over again and it is truly inspiring. I am honored to be your friend and let’s keep fighting because if we all fight together love always wins.”

In an interview with Carly Zakin at theSkimm, Figueras also cheekily refused to admit which of the two princes is better. “Different,” he said. He explained that Prince William plays more on the defense. And while the Royals were not in attendance, a star-studded crowd was there in their place.  Anyone can really attend as long as you snatch a ticket. Tickets are out in late April for the general entry picnic option and Rose Garden elevated experiences. The lucky few get invited into to the VIP tent. All Images: Courtesy of BFA and Veuve Clicquot.”

While looking at allll those photos it is clear how happy and independent JH was travelling with his protection team, being the breezy, delightful, international celebrity prince, having lots of fun playing polo surrounded by beautiful people. He was in his element. Now, he has to kowtow to his control freak older wife and ask for permission to smile. It is truly shocking to see how much he has changed compared to how he used to “roll”. Over and out for now.

Fantastic post!  Thank you so much dear Pilgrim!❤️

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Sorry to give more attention to something that sucks, but I figure I'm not the only one who'd rather know than not know about a comedian I like in a case like this - remember last year, when Richard Ayoade gave that supportive quote on the cover of Graham Linehan's book? And it was disappointing, I figured that even if it's what I assume happens regularly with books like this, where they'll just get whatever famous friends they have to give some positive quote for the cover, even if those friends haven't read the book - even if it was that, that still sucks on Richard Ayoade's part, if he signed off on that for a book like this. But hey, maybe he just doesn't follow the news of which old colleagues of his have lost their minds on social media, maybe he didn't think that much about it, maybe he didn't even know what the book was about, maybe he didn't even write that quote himself. Still sucks, but doesn't necessarily mean all that much.

I fortunately wasn't a sufficiently invested fan of Richard Ayoade to be hugely upset about it. I mean, I wasn't happy. I find him very funny on panel shows and I think Garth Marenghi's Darkplace was a masterpiece. I am, however, sort of pleased that the fact that Richard Ayoade sucks now makes it more acceptable for me to say I've always found The IT Crowd overrated. Also, while he can be very very funny when he's good, his persona does get grating after a while (especially given that... look, if he's going to express support for a man who's so against people changing their outer markers to affect how they're perceived, it's worth noting that it's not his real voice). It annoys me that the running joke on Catsdown is how he's so good at it because he's such a nerd, and they keep doing that joke even though he does badly in all the games. He's not really that smart, he just puts on glasses and a nasal voice and identifies as a nerd. He often doesn't even seem like his heart is really in the persona, I think he just played one nerd in 2006 and then got typecast and stuck doing it forever. Garth Marenghi was still a masterpiece though.

Anyway, I've just been pointed to an episode of Gyles Brandreth's podcast from a few weeks ago, where Richard Ayoade featured as a guest and discussed Linehan. I listened to the relevant passage and can confirm that he did know what he was talking about when he gave that quote for the book, he talks about how Graham Linehan has been doing good work and treated unfairly, and has been accused of transphobia but really it's about women's rights. Thought I'd share that for the information of anyone who likes Richard Ayoade and, like me, would rather know that not know if a comedian we like is saying stuff like that. Sorry again for giving it more attention. I briefly considered posting the clip, but I don't think I need to spread the actual audio around - if you, like me, like to hear things from the actual source rather than relying on out-of-context secondhand accounts, you can hear it yourself on the Ayoade episode of the Rosebud podcast. But I don't really recommend doing that.

I'd love to say I'm not too upset by the Ayoade news because I don't do that kind of parasocial putting celebrities on pedestals, to the point where I'd be upset about them turning out to be bad. But that's not true, there are plenty of comedians to whom I have some scraps of faith in humanity tied, and those rare scraps would disappear if my favourite comedians came out in support of Graham Linehan. Richard Ayoade's just not one of them. It was Matthew Holness who made Garth Marenghi so great anyway. And he did a far better job in one scene than Richard Ayoade did in four seasons, of playing a nerd in an 00s sitcom that was created by a guy who's now an awful transphobe. Even in a niche as small as that, Richard Ayoade doesn't win.

In order to make this post not 100% about terrible people being terrible, I'm going to take this somewhat tenuous excuse to talk about Richard Ayoade's best friend from Cambridge, who is far better than Richard. A couple of years ago, I went to make one of my little Bugle compilations, it got out of hand as I kept adding stuff to it, and I accidentally made a feature film. I entitled it A Groundhog Day of Hatred, as it chronicled the saga of John Oliver vs. Sarah Palin, every time their careers regrettably crossed paths. In September 2023, I updated that film with a few further bits, and released a second edition, which runs at 78 minutes. It's too many minutes.

To accompany the second edition, I thought it would be funny to create a movie poster. I got one quote from the excellent @lastweeksshirttonight, but thought it needed another quote, as all good promotional images are accompanied by quotes of famous people talking up the work. I realized that actually, John Oliver's old friend/Footlights teammate had recently given one of those promotional quotes that, by coincidence, would work just as well to describe my movie as it did to describe the work that that quote was originally used to promote. In fact, it would work even better. Because the story of John Oliver trying to cover Sarah Palin's political career really is the tale of a hero's harrowing journey, unlike Linehan's shit book.

So basically, if you find Richard Ayoade's political views disappointing, you can just look at that quote he gave Graham Linehan's book, and imagine he was instead describing this:

[itisin]

Call me by your name

Okay, so, hate me for this if you will, but this one post isn't about miraculous ladybug, for a change, it's about a very very different and unrelated story- Call me by you name. So, 2 days ago, I wanted to watch a movie and I googled 'teen movies to watch', or something like that, and just picked the first movie I found and went ahead and watched it. It was this- 'call me by your name'. It be noted that I knew absolutely nothing about the movie, I hadn't even seen the complete trailer. While watching, I had a very rare experience- I just couldn't decide whether I loved it or hated it, but I couldn't stop. It was spellbinding. This movie had some VERY VERY sexually explicit scenes, and for those of you who don't know, I'm bi-ace, which means I wasn't drawn to THAT whole vibe of it. Now, I see this movie, and it is past my bedtime, and as soon as I shut my laptop down, I know I'm not going to fall asleep tonight, and that isn't usual for me, I can sleep through anything, but not this time. I still can't figure out whether I liked the movie or not. There was one thing I was sure of though, the story was lacking a bit of, like, personalization. I was obsessing over the movie (this wasn't usual for me either, I don't normally obsess like this over anything) so, I thought that this lack could have been because it was set in the 1980s or something, and also it followed a similar style to give a feel of that time. So, you know how movies would follow kind of close-up of the characters in each scene, different angles- to really get the audience into their skins. I thought maybe that helps us as the audience understand the emotions, somehow; I thought it needed some kind of background narration to make some things clear.

Then the next day too, I was overly obsessing over the movie, and SCOLDING myself for it, cause, its exam time and I'm very stressed about it; I needed to study. Just couldn't focus. So I start bargaining with myself and decide to read a little explanation of some lines from the movie, which are supposed to be like, the trademark of the story, they were "Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine". I just needed to know the emotion, the meaning behind it. I found some explanations and they were all quoting the main character, and I was sure he hadn't said any of those lines. Then it hit me, the movie was an adaptation of a book. Now, after reading that one-sentence explanation I knew the book was from the main character's point of view and, after reading a few more quotes, I was convinced I NEED TO read the book, just so as to understand the movie through the emotions behind. BUT, to read it AFTER the exams cause I had like, 5 days for my exams to begin and I DO NOT have sufficient breaks in between of exams. Couldn't resist, begin reading by the night with an obviously unreal expectation to finish the book by the night itself. Doesn't happen, finished the book next day by 4:30 pm. Now, THIS, has never happened before, NEVER in my whole life. I'm a person who needs a whole year to finish a single book and I read it in a single day.

Now, THE BOOK, sigh THE BOOK, it was everything I expected. All the scenes that remained unclear were now clear, and the movie was actually a decent adaptation of the book, even though, there were a few scenes different in the movie that the book and vica-versa. The book, however, was FAAAR MORE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT than the movie, not my cup of tea, like AT ALL. And some of the scenes were like, not only sexual, but like, almost disturbing. Still, STILL, I was obsessed with the story even more now, just couldn't figure out why. It was like, I'm understanding something that I'll never feel and don't even want to feel, but it is still beautiful. Most importantly, the narration, the words! Aaaah! Amazingly written, one thing I could actually make out. I heard a person in one video say, the words that are used were MADE to be used in this book. He wasn't really exaggerating. Still, one thing I STILL don't know, do I like the story or not, I just don't know. Now, I do think I like it, why else would I be obsessed with it. Now a new question, Why? Idk, I'm hitting my head on the wall over this and am unable to distract myself from this trough any means, and, as it turns out, most people on the internet are saying that they too, were obsessed with it when they saw/read it- though they were clear that they loved the story. I just, don't know, and because I was obsessing over it nevertheless, I came here, my safe haven; to handle my thoughts, thinking that if I untangle my string of thought at once, it will help me focus on studies, cause I really need that, But, I'm still here, with the theme song 'mysteries of love' ringing in my ears like a broken record. (helppp me T_T T_T )

[blaperile]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon (reactions page 666 up to and including "flarp manual" path)

Woah, I didn't even have the time to write down my reaction the initial update before the second update of this page already arrived, hahaha

I'm a big, big fan of where this is going.

After Vriska's first initial conversation with Erisolsprite and Davepetasprite^2 upon arriving in "hell" I already had kind of high hopes of the potential where this was going, and it's definitely exceeding it.

She's making up with Tavros and Aradia, the conversations are glorious, and I'm not even mad that these Tavros and Aradia aren't actually really there. That may even be the BEST part.

It's providing Vriska some real and amazing character development, while not even giving her the "reward" of it ACTUALLY improving her relationship with them.

This shows Vriska what her relationship with Tavros COULD have been if she hadn't done all those awful things to him. But in "real life", she DID do all those things to him, and now he's gone (his pre-retcon self at least), and his post-retcon self is stuck as a Sprite.

So I really hope that in the future we get to have a "real" conversation between this grown Vriska and Gcatavrosprite, I'm very interested how that will turn out.

I find it hilarious that the way for Vriska to get past the Tavros "stage" was for her to finally listen to him and what he wanted to do… which was basically what he was already trying to say to her the first day she got there, but she just wouldn't listen and repeated the same mistake she made all those years ago, trying to make Tavros "braver" and stand up to her, and be more like herself. But it was never what he really needed.

Man, the 2 Pages (Tavros and Jake) sure have been having some amazing scenes these past few updates.

Also "based on the rules of gay, we both have to shut up and game" may be one of the best quotes Beyond Canon has delivered us so far, hahahaha.

The way Tavros could get under Vriska's skin in this update was brilliant.

I absolutely love all these references and callbacks to early Hivebent, what with Tavros not fitting in his recuperacoon, cavalreapers, flarping, etc.

And at the end, the visual callbacks to Vriska's fight with Aradia and her ascension to God Tier (with her instead now climbing her helltier echeladder, I LOVE IT!)

Of course, the return of the look-and-feel of the Alterniabound-like talksprites and conversations is also absolutely great (plus the fact that we even got a Sprite Mode of her in this outfit at the end with the helltier echeladder is also a nice bonus).

I'm very curious just what the rest of her stay here will be.

Originally, I was pretty much convinced she'd stay at least 6 years here (because 666) and possibly even 8 years (because Vriska). But I'm kinda shocked that already in year 2, she's making this kind of progress.

So if she's really going to stay so long here, what else is going to take her so long?

Once we got to see Aradiabot I wondered if it meant Vriska was going to see Terezi next (so that in this "flarping book" path she'd get to see all of her old flarping partners). But she didn't, not in this path anyway.

But if I think about it, perhaps it would be even better if she never gets to see (a fake) Terezi during her stay here?

Aradia's dialogue here that some people would be willing to be friends with Vriska even if she's "useless", instantly makes me think of Terezi.

If there's one person who truly cares a lot about Vriska, it's Terezi.

I mean, Terezi even sacrificed her comfortable life on Earth C to go out there for a long time and search for Vriska. Sure right now she's ended up with Dirk and trying to save John's life, but it doesn't mean she wouldn't still want to find Vriska.

So, I wouldn't be surprised if this whole helltier will eventually end up with Vriska also wanting to find Terezi. And dear god, I'm so looking forward to an eventual reunion.

But anyway, that raises the question of what else will be happening in [S] Begin Session. If the "flarping manual" path is about reconciling with Aradia and Tavros, what will the other paths be about? What other conversational partners will she have?

The feather path seems like a giveaway that it will be Vriska talking to Davepetasprite^2 again.

There's Mindfang's journal, which I'm sure will be about Vriska's introspection of how she practically based her entire personality around her ancestor's journal. But the question is, who will she talk to about it?

It would be very interesting if she talks to (a fake) Aranea here, who is pretty much the best possible substitution for Mindfang for her to talk to.

But what will that be like? I don't think this post-retcon version of Vriska ever met Aranea, right? It was only ever her pre-retcon version that encountered her.

So if she really does meet Aranea here, that ought to be interesting.

I'm curious about the cueball path. I mean, that will probably be about Doc Scratch's manipulation of her, but who could she talk to about that? I'd be down for (a fake) Doc Scratch to return here, but I kinda doubt it. But I'm not really sure who else would be a good conversational partner for her about that. Maybe Arquiusprite???

Then we have the 8-ball path, which is the object most closely associated with Vriska herself. I'd love it if she gets confronted with (a fake version of) her pre-retcon self who already went on a huge path of character development and this Vriska didn't want to believe/face it.