#just completely alone on like a random farm is REALLY funny to me. & how they interact w the locals.......... like ok i understand employer

[twtd11]

Tumblr, it is time. It is time for me to tell you about this year’s lesbian hallmark-esque movie from Tello Films. To wit:

A Holiday “I Do”

Much like Christmas at the Ranch, which I talked about last year, this movie is, well, more charming than good. Also like Christmas at the Ranch, it takes place at a horse ranch. Or farm? Or stables? It’s never quite clear except that they make some money from giving riding lessons.

Somehow, as has been pointed out to me, the marketing for this film completely ignores the whole horse aspect of the movie. Maybe because they didn’t want the audience to think it was Christmas at the Ranch 2.0? Which is fair considering that is, in fact, basically what it is. Maybe Tello Films has a hook up with some horse people?

Anyway, we have our lead, Jane. Here’s the sich with Jane: Jane had big career aspirations but she met a boy, thought she fell in love, had a baby, then divorced the boy because she realized she was gay. She and the daughter moved in with mom when Jane’s dad died. I can’t remember the daughter’s name and IMDb isn’t helping me out here, so I’m just going to call her the kid.

The kid likes to say droll, sophisticated, self-aware things that sound exactly like what you expect a kid to sound like in a movie about lesbians made by queer people, but which have no relation to how kids actually talk. Yes, kids can be droll and sophisticated and self-aware, but this kid’s voice was 100% constructed by an adult who maybe hasn’t spent a lot of time around kids. I mean, I haven’t spent a lot of time around kids that age either, but I’m pretty sure they don’t sound like this kid. But still, the kid is funny most of the time, so it kinda works.

Back to the plot:

So Jane is alone and lonely and there’s an obligatory speed dating scene where we meet a bunch of stereotypical lesbians which wants to be funnier than it actually is. She goes home and laments her singlehood. But she can’t lament for too long because Jane’s ex-husband and his new fiancée are about to arrive in town. They’re in town to get married and Jane is in charge of the bachelor party. You see, the ex husband is also Jane’s best friend.

Here’s a question (which is never answered): if the ex-husband’s only connection to this small town is that his ex-wife lives there, why did he choose to have his wedding there? We never get an answer for that question.

After all of that set up, I finally get to introduce the love interest. Her name is Sue, and she’s the lovely couple’s wedding planner!

To facilitate shenanigans, the lovely couple goes off to the airport to pick up the fiancée’s parents and they get stuck there overnight because of the snow. This means that the bride isn’t there to taste the catering and do other things the bride should do before the big day (personally, I’d think you’d want to taste the cake and the catering more than a day before your wedding, but I’ve never gotten married so what do I know?) Jane, who is instantly enamored of Sue, happily fills in as the bride to taste various foods. They get side tracked with sledding and a mid day yoga break (who stops in the middle of their work project and is like, yes, I’ll go to a random yoga class now?).

There are several quirky side characters that play various parts in the plot. Some of them come off better than others. The evil banker who isn’t really evil because we’re undermining that trope, was particularly a stand out for me. She knew her job and she was totally in.

I’ll leave the conflict/climax/resolution to you, dear reader, should you feel the need to spend $7 to rent it. I feel like it was worth my money.

And in another parallel with Christmas at the Ranch, I spent most of the movie wanting the leads to kiss and then when they actually got to this kiss, damn it was awkward.

[biggerbetterbat]

[17] AND DARYL'S HERE

Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed

Summary: The group reunites and Charlie spends some time alone with Daryl.

Warnings: language, blood, walkers. fluff, mention of sex

Song: Brazil Declan McKenna

A/N: Hello :) Yesterday I had a good day to write and almost have ACT2 completed and waiting to be published. Please like, comment, so I could get a feedback if you like it or no. ENJOY AND SEE YOU SUNDAY!

WITH YOU ON WATTPAD

The funeral was like any other funeral. Maybe more emotional because a whole actual family was crying after the man, not just random people he met a month ago. Those people were crying, but wasn't it better for him like this? Every day was getting harder and harder, and there was no improvement on the way. There was no hope. So was it really a reason to cry that she was gone? At the same time, the funeral felt funny and pointless. Building the grave with rocks, praying like in old times, believing that God is still listening.

"It's good they are here," Charlie said. Charlie and Glenn worked together to erect the tent on Hershel's farm. They hammered stakes into the ground, pulled the tent fabric taut, and secured the poles. Despite a few fumbles and laughs, they managed to set it up just in time before the sun set, proud of their accomplishment amidst the rustic surroundings of the farm. They were putting up tents and making a camp as Hershel let them stay but not in the house. It was between the trees, all together, just like before in the quarry.

"Yeah," he said. "And Daryl's here."

Charlie furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him, not really knowing what he was talking about."Well, everyone's here."

"Yes, but you are happy that he's here." he looked at her. "You've been talking in your sleep...When you are asleep."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Glenn shrugged. "I think you know."

"Glenn..."

"I've noticed you tossing and turning at night. You haven't been sleeping well...or at all."

"Just some nightmares, nothing to worry about," she shrugged.

"And we won't be talking about what happened at CDC?"

"And what happened at CDC?"

"Look, Charls, I get it. We've all been through a lot," he said. "We're a team. I'm here...for you."

"Thank you, Glenn," Charlie said, moved by his support, but then she saw a person approaching them. "But now...you better be just here."

"What?"

But she didn't get to explain.

"I hear you're fast on your feet and know how to get in and out," said Maggie, looking into Glenn's eyes. "Got a pharmacy run. You in?"

"Uh..."

"Miss, what's the water situation here?" Dale asked.

"Got five wells on our land. House draws directly from number one. Number two well is right over there. We use it for the cattle but it's just as pure. Take what you need. There's a cart and containers in the generator shed behind the house. she informed while Charlie was exchanging stares. Then Maggie turned to the Asian boy. "I'll go saddle your horse then."

Charlie snorted.

"Horse?" he asked with a weak voice.

They were walking in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was rather pleasurable. She had another chance to observe him in the woods- in a natural environment it seemed. How he was moving, for what he was paying attention to the smallest leave. Where he was placing his feet and how his body was changing, how his muscles were flexing when he heard a twig snap- it was probably snapping under her body. It was so interesting.

"You slept?" he asked.

"Am I your kid?" she asked, looking around. "All we talk about is me eating or sleeping."

"It's cause you can't take care of yourself," he said.

"I think otherwise," she answered and looked around. "Oh, I hate it here. Just like when I was little."

Daryl looked at her with curiosity in his eyes.

"The summer camps," she explained and he nodded his head. "If I gave my heart to them, I would be just like you now, hunting squirrels."

"Nah." he shook his head. "You talk too much. The more time I spend with you, the more I'm sure that you just need to talk like others need breathing."

"Might be the truth."

Then they fell silent again, walking a couple miles- or at least that's what Charlie thought. But she was overwhelmed by the silence and her surroundings, so she opened her mouth again. "So..."

Daryl snorted. "That's what I'm talking about."

"What were you doing with Merle?"

"What do you mean?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Like in your free time." she corrected herself. "Going fishing, Playing poker. I don't know."

Daryl looked at her and scoffed. "We were doing all those things, but just to get drunk. He was making up games or other stupid shit just to get shit-face drunk. And I was getting drunk because that was the only way to bear him."

Charlie smiled "Merle was a talker."

"Actually...you two are very much lookalike," Daryl said and took a shove with a small smile. "He would punch me harder, though."

"Because that's offensive!" she chuckled. "So basically you were just drinking."

"And smoking." he shrugged. "Sometimes it was by the lake, sometimes in the house, and sometimes in some shithole," he said. "I imagine you never was in a place like that."

"Wrong." she made a funny noise. "On my twentieth birthday, I sat in a car with Zac and my friend and he just drove us to some kind of bar...I guess," she said. "That's a funny story, actually. I remember going in, but I can't recall how I managed to walk out. But Casey told me I was dancing on a table, showering in tequila, and I tried to pull out some guy double my age..." She looked at Daryl. "I think that if you lick me right now, you could still taste tequila."

"I'm not gonna lick you," Daryl answered and fastened his steps, leaving Charlie behind.

They walked and they walked and nothing was worth stopping. There was no sight of Sophia herself or any signs of her, which sucked. So when they finally came across the house that looked abandoned, she was praising the Lord. Charlie touched his arm to stop him as he was looking in a different direction. "Look,"

"Good." he nodded and she thought that she saw a faint smile on his face.

"You think she's in there?"

"I hope," he answered. "Get behind me."

Daryl entered the house first, after kicking the door open and she followed right behind him. She decided to go upstairs, so she patted his back and pointed up. As an answer, she got a nod, and without further thought she just climbed up the stairs, holding her little axe tightly.

There were four rooms and three of them she already checked. There was no sight of Sophia or anyone in general, there was no place to hide either, so she just decided to leave. As she came up to the last doors, she heard banging and she knew exactly what was behind them. That's why she prepared her axe and kicked the door open, to not come close. Immediately she faced the Walker who used to be a man before. It was snarling and trying to bite her, so she took a couple steps back. Then she saw another Walker- a woman this time.

Charlie was terrified. Everything inside was shaking and even though she wanted to call Daryl, her throat felt stuck. And she knew that there were just two options for getting out of this: bitten or alive.

"No romantic dinner this time," she mumbled under her breath and took a swing. With one swift motion, an axe was stuck in the head of the first one. She tried to take the weapon out, but it seemed to be really deep inside the skull.

She saw how the second one was sticking its hands towards her. She was observing the jaw as it was moving as the Walker was closer and closer. Charlie gave up the axe and she just took out the knife that was attached to her belt. She let the Walker grab her but pushed it a little, so it wouldn't reach her with its teeth, and then she just stabbed it in the head just like previously, but this time the blade came out smoothly. When she felt the weight of the dead and this time lifeless body in her arms, she almost gagged. With a groan, she threw the Walker from the stairs.

"You good?" Daryl asked her, as she walked down covered in blood.

"I almost panicked."

"But you killed a Walker."

"Yeah, two Walkers." she corrected him. "Are we done here?"

He nodded and looked in the direction of the kitchen. "I found a hiding spot. Small enough, so she could hide there."

"That's great." Charlie smiled. "But nothing sure?"

She sighed as he shook his head. They walked out of the house, ready to head back, but Charlie saw something. Big white flowers that she hadn't seen before entering the house.

"Sophia!"

"Daryl!" she called his name and immediately he was ready to fire from his crossbow. "Cherokee's Rose."

He looked at her a little surprised, not expecting her to know the story. Daryl saw her picking it up and handing it to him.

"I'm sure it's a sign that we're close to her. Here," she said. "Give this to Carol."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the main Sophia searcher."

The road back home was much quicker, even if it was spent in complete silence. As soon as they entered the territory of the farm, they saw their people were making themselves a home. The tents were already put up, they strained the laundry lines and created a small fire pit for a fire in the middle of the tents.

"Charlie!" she heard her name being called. She tore her eyes from the surroundings and turned them in the direction of the voice. Glenn was going in their direction, waving his hand.

"You're back already?" she asked, holding her hand to her eyes, shielding herself from the sun.

"Yes." Glenn nodded, trying to cover his giddy smile and bouncing. He looked over at Daryl awkwardly. "I have to tell you something."

"Okay. Can I wash myself? I'm dirty." she said looking down at her t-shirt covered in blood.

Glenn nodded energetically and turned to walk away. "I'll be waiting in our tent."

She was watching his happy walk with his back straightened and head high up. It had a little bounce to his step as he was strolling away. He was definitely proud of something. "He did it," said Daryl.

"Hmm?" she turned to him, not really knowing what he said, as she was too focused on watching her friend.

"Funny business with the farmer's daughter."

"What funny business?" she furrowed her brows.

"Sex."

She gasped and opened her eyes wider. She didn't think that was the issue because in her opinion Maggie had different types of men. Besides, Glenn didn't look like a guy that is sleeping around, he looked innocent and pure. There was no way that he had sex with a girl he just met. However, Daryl was a man, he knew things. "You don't know that."

He scoffed and passed her by, to talk with Carol who was in the RV.

Charlie decided to throw the shirt away because it would be a waste of time to try and wash off the blood stains. So when she cleaned her face and arms, she entered the tent and took off her top clothing- not minding Glenn just sitting there. He tossed her a clean shirt, so she could cover up.

"Everything is good? You found something?"

"Daryl found a hiding spot in a farmhouse, but...I don't know." she shrugged.

"Are you hurt?"

Charlie shook her head.

"So? What's so exciting?" she asked, sitting on her sleeping bag and soon she was glad that she did because she would most definitely faint.

Glen smirked and nodded his head like a plastic dog that would be put in a car. "I had sex."

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[pascalpanic]

hi i love ur writing so much!! can i request something with mutual pining, denial of feelings, idiots-to-lovers, hurt/comfort/angst , maybe some jealousy and fluff and smut if you want i just need something really angsty with javier peña, frankie m or din djarin?? tysmm!!!!!

The Bantha (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: Being an animal lover does not work well with the plans the Tuskens and Mos Pelgo citizens have to kill the krayt dragon. A retelling of S2E1 of the Mandalorian: The Marshal.

W/C: 4.4K

Warnings: talk of animals being harmed/dying, lots of arguing and angst, Vanth kind of is gross bc I hate his character aha, we respect the Tuskens in this house and use proper terminology for them, language, tiniest mentions of alcohol

A/N: Not gonna lie, the idea for this fic came to me pretty quickly but it took me a long time to properly figure it out. Lots of drafting and editing so THANK YOU to my beta readers, you’re all the best ever!! Anon, I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope it’s worth it!

Of all the dilemmas you’d expected to face as you traveled the galaxy with a tiny, Force-sensitive, 50-year-old toddler and a Mandalorian with the emotional capacity of the earlier-mentioned child, the last one you’d ever predicted you’d face had to be the challenge of ridding a tiny desert town of a giant sand beast that eats their banthas.

“You are so fucking dense,” you groan as you and Din settle on a speeder bike, the little green child tucked in a wrap on your chest. “You’re a Mandalorian, a battle-worn bounty hunter with a kill streak probably in the thousands, and some random man asks for your help and not only do you fucking freely give it, you decide to help them kill the sand dragon terrorizing their town.” You groan to him, rubbing your temples.

Din nods and starts up the speeder bike. “You don’t need to summarize what we just lived through,” he grunts and you wrap an arm around him.

“I do, because I need to clarify that your dumb ass would do that. Sometimes I really do think you don’t have a brain under that beskar bucket,” you shake your head, trying to keep the anger that you’re feeling. If you’re not careful, it’ll turn to adoration and love.

You’ve been battling your feelings for Din for a while now, trying to force the giddiness bubbling in your chest deep down inside. The man is everything you look for in a partner: strong, committed, tall, protective. He’s good with the child, adorably cuddly and loving. He’s even funny sometimes, making dry-humored remarks around the ship.

“Excuse me for caring,” the man grumbles through the modulator. He’s strong and warm beneath your arms, the Tatooine heat making the beskar warm like your bunk in the morning when you don’t want to get up. Stop it, stop it you remind yourself. This is not the time to be enraptured by the Mandalorian man’s body.

That’s yet another trait you love about him- how caring he is. He’s a bounty hunter, a warrior by oath who never shows his face and probably knows millions of ways to kill someone with his bare hands. Yet he cares. He raises the child well; he even raised him alone before you came into the picture. He puts himself in harm’s way for innocent people on the daily, all because he simply thinks it’s right.

You take a sip from your water canteen and hand it to the baby on your chest so he can drink too. “No, I will not excuse you for caring when you’re doing stupid shit, Din,” you scowl and cap the canteen as two three-fingered green hands give it back to you. “You came here- we came here, our family did, to find Mandalorians. There are none.”

“This man will give me his beskar if we help,” Din hisses, revving the engine of the speeder, non-verbally telling Vanth to get moving. The man is dawdling along, a few meters away, as he packs his bike up.

“What do you need it for, huh?” You ask him, throwing your arms up in exasperation. “I’m not a Mandalorian. This little shit doesn’t need beskar. You have a full set of armor already.”

“Beskar belongs to me, to my people, by my Creed,” he says, articulating himself with his hands too. It’s a habit he’s picked up from you. “You wouldn’t ask a Tatooinian to deprive themselves of the moisture they farm.”

You put your face in your hands and groan. “No, you’re right, because they fucking need water to live. You do not need beskar to survive, Din!” You shout, getting off the speeder bike. “And please, forget I called us a family. We’re clearly just a bounty hunter and his… assistant, whatever the fuck I am, and some little kid we picked up for the ride.” You stalk off towards the building.

“Where are you going?” He asks as you turn.

Cobb is standing to the side somewhere, and you approach him. “You got another speeder? I don’t want to put up with him for the ride.”

The man chuckles and claps your shoulder. “Sure thing, pretty thing.” He wanders off and returns about a minute later with another speeder. Din watches the two of you in annoyance, visible from his rigid body language. “Hop on. You know how to drive?” You nod once and he heads to his own speeder. “I’ll lead. You two follow.”

-

The ride is uneventful at first. Cobb Vanth tells the two of you the story of how he came to be the town marshal, and Din nods his silent comprehension when the man in beskar looks over at him. Most of the stories are aimed at you, desperate to crack your stony anger. It doesn’t work. You stare straight ahead, daring to break your frown into a neutral expression when the little green baby coos excitedly at the wind in his ears.

There are valleys and caverns to navigate through, nimbly ducking and weaving on your speeder bike. The kid loves it, squealing happily when you fly over a bump or turn a sharp corner. It’s a joyride to him.

When Din and Vanth suddenly stop your ride, you panic, holding the child close against your chest. From your holster, you grab your weapon and stand next to the two men. The growling noises are revealed to be massiffs, huge dog-like lizards. You squeal in delight, immediately dropping to your knees and summoning the beast in Tusken.

“What in the hell is she doin’?” Vanth mutters to Din as the big animal comes bounding toward you.

“She’s always like this with animals. Thinks they’re all big puppies,” Din rolls his eyes but can’t help himself: he smiles beneath his helmet as the beast licks your face and you scratch its sides.

You’re such a wonderful person, Din sighs, even though he’s mad at you. You’ve always been amazing with other species, like massiffs and the little green child strapped to your chest. You’re so intelligent too: speaking seemingly endless languages.

“They are big puppies!” You coo and press a kiss to the forehead of one massiff. Another finds Din, who also bends down to give it scratches and attention. “Green bean, look!” You tell the child and put out his hand for the massiff to lick. “See? They’re our friends,” you tell him, admiring the way the little green child giggles at the scaly skin.

From around a corner, a Tusken appears, then several. You stand and lower your weapon, speaking to them first in their native language. “We mean no harm. You have beautiful massiffs,” you tell them then turn to Din and Vanth. “Drop the weapons.”

“Are you crazy?” Vanth shouts.

“We are here to put an end to the krayt dragon,” you explain to them in their language. “Your assistance and knowledge would certainly help us. You want it gone too, yes?”

They affirm you that it’s a yes, and you nod back at the men. You know Din understands. “They’re willing to help if you’ll stop being a douchebag.” Vanth starts to talk but you hold up a hand and cut him off. “I know, I know. We can strike a deal. Are you willing?”

Din’s heart is nearly exploding. In any other timeline, he’d be the one conducting negotiations, using his threat as a Mandalorian to run the show. But here you are, with your gentle nature, making deals and completing them through cooperation and kindness. It’s hard to speak in a soft tone when speaking Tusken, yet you can do it. All with a baby strapped to your chest. Maker, Din thinks, he might be in love with you.

Vanth sighs a few moments later. “Why the hell not?”

-

Din talks with the Tuskens for a while at the camp, planning and negotiating as night falls and the air starts to get cold. To entertain the child, you spend time with the banthas, brushing their fur and letting the baby get exposed to the animals.

The kid loves them. He coos happily as he strokes their thick fur, giggling as one of them gives him a kiss and covers him in slime. You wash him off and return, quietly talking with the Tuskens caring for the creatures.

You’ve taken a liking to them. They’re gentle and soft, like big lumbering puppies, really. They moo when you brush their fur just right, let their eyes slip shut when you scratch them between the eyes. You’ve always had a soft spot for animals, like Din said earlier.

Cobb likes you. That much is clear from the way he finds you when he’s not working with Din and the Tuskens, bringing you food and water as you and the child mind your business. He’s overly flirtatious, to the point of annoyance. He’s rude and crude about the Tuskens, calling them words you’d never use to describe a human.

Politely excusing yourself, you allow the child to run with some of the other Tuskens’ children and spot a silver-plated man sitting by the fire.

“Vanth is such a goddamn xenophobe,” you grumble as you sit down next to the fire with Din, the child off playing with some Tusken children. He’d ranted about the Tuskens as you rode with them, luckily in Basic so that the people couldn’t understand him.

“Thought you liked him,” Din says and cocks his head. “He certainly likes you.”

You roll your eyes and sip the canteen of water, looking at the crackling fire. “Those things are not mutually exclusive,” you chuckle, looking over at him. “What, are you jealous, tin can?” You tease and knock on his beskar pauldron.

“In your dreams, cyar’ika,” he teases. It’s clear to him that whatever tension had been between the two of you earlier has dissipated, enough for him to steal the water flask from your hand and pass it to the child as he toddles past.

“I was drinking that, you fucking bantha,” you laugh and smack him on an unarmored part of his arm. The Tatooinian desert gets cold at night, you find, and you pull into yourself a little more from the cold.

Din unclips his cape and drapes it over your shoulders, tucking it in beneath where your arms press against your ribs so that it wraps tight to your body. “Hm. You do have a heart under there,” you tease and sigh, naturally leaning against Din and resting your head on his shoulder pauldron.

“So it’s been said,” he nods and even dares to rest his head on top of yours. Through the bare spots in his beskar, he can feel the way your body radiates warmth into the chilly night. You spot a little green head toddling past again, much slower than the other children thanks to his tiny legs, and Din scoops him up.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur quietly, the roar of the Tuskens’ conversations creating a soft hum around you. “For what I said, when I yelled at you. You’re right. You really are just caring for them.”

He nods. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m more sorry for saying we aren’t a family. I mean, we are, right? Not that we’re like, a couple or anything,” you say hurriedly, your voice low as you stumble over your words. “But you and this little womp rat…” you muse as you scratch the baby’s little green head. “You are my family. That much is clear to me.”

Din nods once more. “I agree.”

You smile up at him. “What’s going on under that bucket, huh?”

He turns, looking off. “Just going over the plans for how we’re going to get that krayt dragon.”

“Ooh, share,” you ask, taking one of his hands and lacing through his glove-covered fingers. “I didn’t mean it when we said all of this for some banthas, you know. I’ve really fallen in love with them lately.”

Din is quiet for a moment. He doesn’t answer. “Din?”

He knows you’re going to hate him for this. Your big heart, your animal-loving, sweet talking kindness is not going be okay with this, but he has to tell you the truth. “We’re going to have to sacrifice some of the banthas for this mission to work.”

“What?” You exclaim, dropping his hand. “You can’t possibly do that.”

“We have to. We need to lure the dragon.”

“Do it some other way!” You frown, looking over at the big soft desert cows. “Seriously, please, Din.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shakes his head. “They’re not sentient.”

“But they can feel!” You exclaim again, standing. “Fuck this. Why don’t you sacrifice yourself to the krayt dragon and see how that feels?” You shout, storming off. You’re aware it’s childish, but you stomp to your tent and lie down. You close your eyes and hope Din doesn’t come to find you.

-

Of course you didn’t mean it. Of course you didn’t want Din to sacrifice himself to the krayt dragon. So why is he doing it? Why are you on your knees, screaming to the sky that he did exactly what you said?

You’d been avoiding him since that night, since you showed vulnerability and subsequently returned to anger towards the man. You’d wanted to apologize, but you couldn’t get over the sacrificing of the animals for the cause. You just couldn’t.

Din had flown straight into the sand dragon’s mouth, just seconds ago, and is now deep inside its bowels, you’re sure. You clutch the baby to your chest and wail, agonized and terrified. Vanth stands at your side, a hand resting on your shoulder as you wheeze and sob.

But this is Din. He must have a plan.  He has to have a plan; he’s a battle-worn warrior and you’ve never seen him lose a fight. You’d stormed off before you could hear the rest of his plans the other night- maybe this was part of it. But the way Vanth stares at the dragon in terror makes you think that maybe it isn’t. Maybe Din just really fucked it up. You set the little green kid in his cradle and stand, sniffling and clinging to the metal sphere as if it’s your last lifeline to Din.

Suddenly, there’s a burst of green goo and out flies a shining silver rocket: it’s Din. “Oh thank the fucking Maker,” you shout as he lands not far from your small group, the wailing and dying sand beast behind him.

He’s covered in slime, but you’ve never been so happy to see the man. You rush to him and throw your arms around him, not giving a single fuck as you jump on him. “Please, never fucking do that again,” you wheeze into his cape, getting yourself covered in slime.

The hug is not comfortable. Din is all beskar where you want to feel his strong body, but it’s all worth it when he wraps his arms around you too. You’re crying, he knows it, and he knows just why. “I didn’t do it because you said it. You know that, right?”

You let go of him, sniffling and wiping your eyes. “Yeah. I was just so scared- oh Maker, Din, I can’t fucking lose you,” you admit, freely crying now. “I love you, I really do, and I can’t-“

“How?”

You look at him in confusion.

“How do you love me?”

This damn man. He’s full of surprises, just getting literally eaten alive by a krayt dragon, and now he’s asking you for a full emotional confession. You’re still reeling from the shock, but the fact that he’s there is enough. You don’t care that Cobb is definitely listening over your shoulder. “Every way. All of them. Romantic, friendship, family. You feel like my home and I want to be with you.” No better time than now, you suppose, to admit this all.

Din walks a step closer. “Romantic. Huh.”

“I hate that fucking helmet,” you admit, trying to deflect the emotion between the two of you. “I can never see your face. Can’t know what you’re thinking, your tone, your-“

Din cuts you off. “We ride back to the village and clean up. Meet me in the home as the suns set.”

What that means, you have no clue, but you nod. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” you murmur, putting a hand on the cut-out cheek of his helmet.

-

The town rejoices when you come back, shouting and celebrating over the dragon’s death and the plentiful meat that came with the creature. You’d joined in the reverie, taking a shot of spotchka and chanting along to a Tatooinian call-and-response they’d started. It was wonderful, really, and you and the little green thing were the stars. They admired the little green thing, cooing over him. You were proud to stand there as his mother.

The party died as the suns set. Din was notably absent from the hubbub, preferring to be alone as usual. You and the kid talked with the villagers, but as the suns started to sink, you excused yourself and found your way to the spare home you and Din each had rooms in.

Vanth and the women had taken the baby when you told them you were going to talk with Din. Not that it was hard: they all loved the little beast, showered him with affection. It was practically a competition over who got to play with him most.

The building has a warm glow as you wander over to it, wrapping your arms around yourself. The night has become cold now that the two harsh suns have sunk below the horizon, and it’s a relief to open the door to the home and feel the warmth radiating from a fireplace inside.

You find Din staring out of a window on the back, watching the endless wind sweep across the sand dunes, a dark sky contrasting the golden ground. Just his silhouette is visible, black against the deep blue. “Hi,” you say quietly as you walk in, the worn floorboards creaking beneath your feet no matter how deliberately you step. “Glad to see you got cleaned up.”

The man tilts his head in an obvious eye roll, even through the helmet. The slime was disgusting, although Din’s adoptive son had seemed to enjoy the gooey texture, as little ones are prone to. “I almost died and you’re already back to the sarcasm.”

“It’s called a coping mechanism,” you laugh gently and place a hand on his shoulder. There’s no beskar there, just soft fabric warmed by his body. It makes you shiver; even in the safety of the Crest, Din never takes off the armor. You wonder why it’s gone. Maybe to clean it?

Din’s quiet for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your fingers splayed over his shoulder in such an affectionate gesture. “You know how much I trust you, don’t you?” He asks and the black visor turns toward you, admiring what’s visible of your face in the moonlight. Your eyes glimmer and he admires them, the color he’s always loved.

You nod and smile just a little, cheeks growing rounder with the movement. “Of course.” He’s trusted you with his son, the most important thing to him in the galaxy. There’s one clear gesture even now: the absence of the beskar from his form. Maker, he’s broad, shoulders just as wide as with the metal.

He nods and shuts the window’s shutters, allowing even less light in before turning to you. There’s just a soft glow in the room, outlining the shape of the helmet and his shoulders. You can’t see any detail, just the shape. He walks over towards the long comfortable seating in the middle of the room and you instinctively follow, standing in front of it and stopping when he stops, facing him. His hands find your shoulders and his fingertips brush down your arms until they find yours. “Take off my helmet.”

“What? No,” you exclaim, frowning even though he can’t see it.

“Can you see anything?” He asks, a hand gesturing, an even darker shadow through the already murky visibility.

“No.”

“My Creed says you cannot see my face. Not that I can’t remove the helmet.”

You gulp hard, your fingers lacing through his. They’re bare. You’ve never felt them before. Often you’ve wondered if they’re calloused and tough from his work, soft from being hidden beneath the soft leather for all those years, or somewhere in between. They do fall into that in between, but they’re warm and strong and large, even without the leather casing them.

“I can’t do that to you,” you shudder, squeezing his fingers. “It’s the very thing about you, that you can’t take it off,” you start to ramble. You want to, desperately, but there’s no turning back now. If you feel his face, if you’re even so lucky as to kiss him, you’ll never be able to get enough of it. You’ll be subjected to an eternity of longing, even more than you’re yearning now.

“I want you to,” he breathes, his beskar-covered forehead falling against yours. “Please, cyare.”

“Why don’t you hate me?” You ask, your voice straining. You need to keep stalling, need to keep pushing it off or you’re actually going to do it. “I’m so mean to you. All the time,” you point out to him. You do it to keep him away, but he’s persistent. He never seems to care. “All we do is argue.”

“I may not be able to use the Force like the kid,” he mumbles, bringing one hand up to cup your face. “But I can sense your feelings. You don’t hide them well.”

“Din,” you plead, biting your lip and closing your eyes to prevent the tears that are threatening to well in them. “You can’t do this.”

“I can, and I want to.”

“Why are you so fucking patient with me when I’m only ever a bitch to you?” You practically wail, half annoyed and half honored. “You’re such a good man, Din. You don’t deserve someone shitty like me. I’ve got no hunting skills, I’m too stubborn, I’m mean and-”

He stops you by lifting your hands, setting them on either side of his helmet. “You can’t see me, so it doesn’t break the Creed. I want you to do this, because I want you.” He’s eternally blunt, but in this moment you can’t tell if it’s breaking your heart or warming it. “I love you too. Please. Take it off.”

“This is your last fucking chance, Djarin,” you tell him with a wavering voice.

“Cyare.”

“Okay,” you nod and take a deep breath. Din unlatches the little bit at the bottom that keeps it sealed against his head, and there’s a soft rush of air. Your hands grip either side and you slowly lift it off. Din takes it once it’s gone and rests it on the plush seat.

Your hands are drawn to his face like you’re being pulled on a string, your skin prickling as you feel the stubble along his chin and jaw. Your fingers trace his face for a few moments, exploring the new terrain. His cheeks feel hot, and his lips make you shiver again with how soft they are. Swallowing hard, you dare to look at his silhouette, noticing his hair is mostly matted down from the helmet. “What color are your eyes, Din?”

“Brown.”

You smile at that, and you rest your head against his shoulder, your hands dropping to your sides. His arms encircle you and it feels perfect, like you were meant to be like this for all of eternity and it took you long enough. “Of course they are.”

He chuckles at that and presses a kiss into your head, his hands finding your waist. “I did take this off for a reason.”

You lift your head, looking at his just-visible shape. “Really? I don’t know what you mean,” you flirt.

He’s silent. You’re sure he’s rolling his eyes, absolutely certain. “May I kiss you?”

The words are ever blunt, just like Din. “Yes, you bantha,” you tease, but the laughter is gone as his hands find your face again.

Just like that, his lips are on yours, radiating heat and love and it immediately tops the feeling of his arms around you. You gasp, not expecting him to do it so quickly, but your lips quickly meld to his and you sigh in content.

You stay like that for a while, hands traveling each other’s heads and necks and shoulders and sides as you kiss. He’s so warm and strong, his muscles just as sculpted as the indestructible metal that covers him. He’s so human.

After a bit, Din breaks away and presses his forehead to yours once more. He doesn’t speak, just rests there, his hands on your waist. His breath mingles with yours. For once, you’re speechless, unsure of what you can say back. The sarcasm has been stripped from your body like the beskar from Din’s.

“I better put the helmet back on,” he murmurs.

“Please don’t,” you whisper, tucking your face into the curve of his neck. You sit on the couch and he follows, desperate not to lose your touch. “Just… we’ll stay like this.”

He nods. He can’t say no when you kiss his neck feather-lightly, when your skin is pressed to his like this. He hasn’t had contact like this in years. He’ll prolong it as long as he can.

You do stay like that, relaxed and curled into each other. His arm wraps around you and you curl into a ball, nestled into his side. It’s been a long day for Din, you know, but the depth of it occurs to you as his breathing slows and his muscles relax.

He’s fallen asleep in your arms. You press a soft kiss to his neck and set a timer on the wrist-comm you’re wearing, so that you’ll both wake while it’s still dark in the room. For now, he deserves his rest. His face nuzzles into your hair, and he gives a soft sigh in his sleep. Yes, this is exactly what the beskar warrior needed: rest and you.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @tacticalsparkles

[lovelessdagger]

Starlight - Prologue: Before

Pairing: Din Djarin x OC, Din Djarin x OFC

Rating: Mature

Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence

Warnings: Blood, Violence, Explicit Language, Trauma

Words: 2000

Summary: What's past is prologue.

There's a new trend since the fall of the Empire, everyone is rising from the dead.

She's haunted by memories of the Empire that abandoned her, he's plagued with thoughts of what if and doubts of the future. The stars align in a string of constellations which guide them to their fates, decided long before them. 

Tortured with echos of before, they're alone in an endless galaxy. But orphans have a funny way of finding each other, and the gods have a sick sense of humor.

Read on AO3 Here

Tatooine was the galaxy’s own personal hell, Mustafar at least had the pleasure of fauna. Demonic nightmarish fauna that was more than likely poisonous, but fauna nonetheless. Tatooine? Tatooine was a barren wasteland that had gone to the dogs, and even the dogs had decided they wanted no part in its misfortune. At least on Mustafar she could go inside and be relieved of the heat, at least Mustafar could be considered home. 

Or at least it used to be, before.

“Maker,” An assassin mutters, crossing over a sand dune. The red tracking fob in her gloved hand sounds, it’s light flashing a similar color. To her relief, she was close. The sooner to the target, the sooner she could leave and never set foot on sand again. 

She could count the total number of visits to Tatooine in her lifetime on one hand. The first she couldn’t have been more than fourteen, then again at an older age to meet with the Hutts. Nine years ago, her father had sent her on a reconnaissance mission to some abandoned moisture farm. It had been terribly boring, full of memories of family dinners and old beaten up droids.

The irony that that very mission essentially caused her to lose everything wasn’t lost on her.

Five years ago she sat in the very cantina she walks to, warned to run away. A mere twenty-one years old—give or take, her birthday after all was a random day chosen by her and the waking sun. There was no telling her true age, so with her knowledge of human anatomy and development, nine years ago she decided on being seventeen.

“Why seventeen?” He asks her. Entering hyperspace she sits behind him, tracing passing stars on the window.

“Because,” she begins matter-of-factly, “Seventeen is a completely insignificant year to be alive. Sixteen is old enough that I won’t be questioned for traveling alone, but still too young to be taken seriously. I’m not quite ready to be an adult yet, but next cycle I will be. So I am seventeen now, so that I may be prepared to be eighteen later.”

Eighteen hours later, the first Death Star exploded. 

The events which follow guide her on a fragile string of stars throughout the galaxy, the culmination of which lead her back to hell. Or Tatooine, as the New Republic liked to call it.

Maybe if she had listened things would have been different.

Or maybe they would be worse.

Either way she would be here. The designer of her cruel fate and dictator of her misery have decided this long ago. Forever would she be trapped in hell with her memories.

And everyone else’s.

Condemned to relive the worst of what humanity had to offer, over, and over, and over again. It wasn’t so bad anymore, it’s easy to get numb to that sort of thing when your entire life was filled with it. Still, out of all the places in the galaxy, why did it have to be Tatooine?

She could understand the appeal for those on the run. Away from the New Republic’s oversight, moisture farms as the only viable landmark, and everyone being too overworked to give a damn. Theoretically it should have been easy to hide, the only issue was every criminal in the Outer Rim had the same idea. Originality be damned.

A detached hood and mask shield her identity, not that she believed anything with a penchant of life would be anywhere near. All that surrounded her was sand, rocks, and sand. Still, she could never be overly cautious. Walking up to the cantina, her eyes roll. It was like they wanted to make her job difficult. She could only assume the bar would be crawling with other criminals. Defected imperials, thieves, murderers.

It could have been a family reunion.

Eyes fall on her entrance, the suns backlight her into a silhouette. She becomes the one cascade of darkness in the light of the desert. 

“Boys,” she greets, walking in. Her eyes scan the room, there couldn’t be more than ten men. She counts the passing of ten seconds before one approaches her. Within those seconds her mind remarks on the state of the bar, essentially unchanged. Same busted chairs, same creaking floors, same hideous decorations. 

“What’s someone like you doing here?” a man grunts, stalking up to her. The most she does to acknowledge him is an eye roll. He grabs her arm, holding her in place. “Does your daddy know you’re out here?” he asks, leaning down to her ear.

She mocks a laugh. “Does yours?”

The man spits at her boots. “Bitch,” he says, walking away from her. His spit slowly rolls off her toe, leaving a glimmering streak along the leather in its wake. She pulls her blaster out, pointing the gun behind her, she shoots the man in the back of the head. He drops, his body heavy with a thud. 

The cantina falls to silence. Nine bodies are now watching her. No one makes a move, even the bartender stops his clinking glasses. She’s almost inviting them to try her next.

“No?” She asks, holstering her gun. “Pity,” she mutters. 

She walks up to body number seven, he sits in the same spot she had all those years ago. She places her soiled boot on his seat, grabbing his attention. Motioning for him to stand, she barely makes eye contact.

 Her fingers run across the tables’ wood, rubbing over permanent stains and rotting cracks.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” he says. He always worried too much about her, “Whatever he’s planning, you won’t come out of it.”

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” she says. “I can take care of myself now.”

“I know. That’s what scares me. You’re not safe anymore,” he replies.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been safe.”

Seven stares at her incredulously, slurping his liquor.

“Come with me,” his voice echos around her. If she closes her eyes it’s like he’s still sitting in front of her. Pleading.

“I don’t like making messes inside, it’s bad manners,” she says, reaching for her blaster. “Get up.” 

“Am I supposed to be scared, girl?” Seven asks. He scans her appearance and truth be told she was no Rancor, certainly no Hutt. While her build was athletic, her height physically left her the smallest in the room.

“You owe a lot of credits—” Seven stands, “—That’s better.” She drops her foot. “Now—“

“Step aside,” a modulated voice speaks behind her. She catches a reflection of the intruder in the glass of the framed artwork above Seven’s head. A Mandalorian, covered in pure Beskar, stands a whole head above her. Of course a fucking Mandalorian would show up right now, this had to be his doing. Even in the grave he had to fuck with her.

“Mando,” Seven laughs, he wipes his sweaty palms on his trousers. “I was uh, I was just talking to the missus here,” he grabs the girls shoulder. “Say, now’s not really a good time so how about we—“ 

“I don’t have time for this,” the Mandalorian says. He drops a bounty puck on the table, in blue holograms Seven’s profile appears.

WANTED: EDI MOURI 

“Let’s go,” Mando says.

The girl shakes herself from Seven. “Listen Shiny, I was here first so move along.” The Mandalorian’s head tilts.

“Are you with the guild?” He asks.

She picks up the bounty puck, examining the emblem. “Not yours.”

Mando’s head turns to One’s fallen body on the ground, a growing pool of blood by his head. 

“Your work?”

“You could say that.”

Seven clears his throat. Whispers of bets trail within the crowd. “In fairness. She did find me first.”

The pair are incredulous in their stare. “You want to go with the assassin?” Mando asks, a slight twinge of amusement escapes past his modulator.

Seven’s face turns to ice, his deep emerald skin becoming a pastel like hue. “On second thought. I always loved the Mandalorian stories I heard as a kid, I’m a big fan. Let’s go big guy.” He takes a step towards Mando, the assassin pulls out her blaster, pointing it to his head. At the same moment Mando pulls out his own, pointing it to her.

“Drop it,” he says. “I need him alive.”

She cocks her head to the side, pressing her forehead against the barrel of the gun. “Do it,” she purrs. 

He’s motionless.

She grabs the Mandalorian’s wrist with one hand, striking the bend in his arm with the other. A blaster shot fires, Three falls to the ground with a hole in his head. 

Mando lifts her by her neck and slams her into the table where Seven sits. Her vision flashes white and she groans on impact. Her hands fumble across the wood in frantic search of anything to defend herself with.

“Wait for me, I’ll come for you in two days.”

She smashes Seven’s plate against the table, shattering it. With a jagged edge of porcelain she slashes the Mandalorian’s arm, staining the edge with his red blood. In his stumble back she rolls off the table.

Harsh stabs are swung to the openings between the pieces of armor, he easily blocks but her movements are quick in succession. He ignites the flamethrower on his arm and she flips out of range.

Six isn’t so lucky.

She lands on his table, he’s charred and slumped over. She grabs a baton resting against his chair, cringing at its touch. Jumping of the table she strikes his helmet. The tune of impact horrifically melodic. 

Brought to his knees, Mando grabs her leg sweeping her onto her back. The baton falls out of her grasp. They tumble on the ground, scathing for any advantage they could find on the other. She slaps a taser disk on his armor, the shocks malfunction the electronics.

The Mandalorian lays on the ground, emitting heavy gasps for air. Sounds of passing credits come from a back table. She straddles him, pulling out the knife kept in the welt of her sleeve. It’s metal presses against his capes fabric gathered around his neck.

A smile twinges under her mask. “Not bad,” she pants, leaning down over him.

The cantina doors automate open, in perfect eye-line, a green little creature. It waddles in, cooing with bright eyes at the patrons, greeting them all. It locks eyes with her, head tilted. The veil of her mask conceals her dropped jaw. 

The Mandalorian takes the chance of her distraction; flipping their bodies over, he straddles her waist, pinning her hands above her head. The assassin’s chest rises and falls heavy from under him. “I told you to wait outside,” he grunts. The green thing coos, waddling to the pair. It reaches out for her. “No,” he says next, raising a scolding finger to it. It whines, plopping on its rear. 

Past the visor, his eyes lock onto hers, he clears his throat. Suggestive positioning aside, he had claim to victory. Though, had it not been for the child he would have been a dead man, throat slit under her knife. 

He could still kill her, his blaster was in reach, so was her knife. 

He should kill her.

But he doesn’t.

“Hey Mandalorian,” she breathes. “Where’s your bounty?” Seven’s seat empty, table broken, shattered porcelain fallen on the floor.

“Fuck,” he swears. He stands, pocketing the knife she held. He picks up the creature, sparing her one last glance. “Stay out of my way,” he warns. Exiting the building she’s left on the floor. 

The surviving witnesses avoid her glare. There are holes in the flooring, broken furniture, blood stains splattered on every surface.

So much for not making a mess indoors.

She scoffs, picking herself up. Her muscles ache, bruises are forming under her clothing, her head pounds.

Carelessly, she shoots Five on her way out.

It’s a redemption of sorts.

Officially, Tatooine was worse than hell.

Chapter One: The Meeting

[alexlabhont]

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you

Chapter eleven

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

Genre: Canon re-write (Because I can)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really

Tags: @dopeyouth @theymakemegayer @save-me-the-last-dance @poppysmc (If anyone want to be tagged in or removed, just tell me)

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so… i’m sorry fo the grammar errors. I also installed recently Grammary, so… hope its worth it.

This chapter contains some sensitive topics about tragedies and sex insinuations, I really didn't want to write it down with details both out of respect. I mean, personally, I didn't want to explain what's "under" in a fanfic, but if you do have doubts or curiosity, ask away in chat, especially if you are starting hormones, there is a lot for you to know about down there because it definitely changes something. Also, this other topic might touch a nerve and I really didn't do it without respect to the victims, so I'm sorry if it feels like that.

Previously

----

Staten Island it’s the third-largest borough in New York, but it is the least populated. The northern part of the island is the most urbanized, with some areas of somewhat decayed housing blocks that didn’t attract attention at all. It was… ok? quiet? She wasn’t sure exactly what to say about that place, but what was another thing she wasn’t sure about? Well...

“Are you not going to tell me what are we doing?” Poppy asked once again, feeling irritated as they both walked through the breeze but warm streets. At first, she thought they were taking the bus but Beck asked something to a random guy and started walking for a really, really long time, what was all this about? Beck looked tense, kind of nervous, and that alone made her feel strange, unnerved. "Are you alright?" Poppy asked again, but this time she sounded worried.

"Yeah, I'm just…" They exhaled in an attempt to draw their nerves away from themself. "I'm pretty nervous. I've never done this before." Beck chuckled.

"Do what?" Poppy frowned, curiosity floating in her mind strongly, to be honest, she had never seen them so tense before, even though they were trying to look calm. Beck smirked and took her by the hand.

"Come on, I have to show you something."

"Is it too far?"

"Are you already tired?" Beck replied, mocking her with that sassy smile of theirs.

"Me? Absolutely no." She said, raising an eyebrow. "I could literally go for miles."

"I'll have to prove that myself." Beck winked and she couldn't help but laugh.

"You're a dimwit."

"Yeah" they shrugged. "I'm cute, though.”

“Barely.” She rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile but failing in the process so Beck laughed at it. Suddenly an unexpected drop felt swiftly in her nose, making her look up to the sky where a big, grey cloud was still above their heads. Soon, she felt raindrops in her hair, her clothes, her shoes!

“Oh, shoot. This is not good…” Beck said while they both walked faster, reaching out for cover in a shop awning.

“You think? These Jimmy choo are not even in the market yet!”

“Well, we don’t want them to be ruined, don’t we?."

"Of course not! What kind of dumb ques—"

Poppy didn't get to end the sentence, Beck took her by the wrist and started running full speed and nonstop. "Beck!" She screamed, the rain pouring down her body while that asshole laughed like a devilish kid. "Beck Hughes, let go of me this instant!!"

"We're almost there!" She heard them saying without turning to see her.

"Where are you taking me?!"

Beck slowed down little by little until they both stopped in front of a tiny, old, yellow house with barely two floors. Beck took the keys out of their pockets and opened the door, allowing Poppy to get inside the dark and quiet place.

“So… here we are.” Beck spoked turning on the lights.

The place that received them was the living room, but it was not an ordinary living room, it had neon lights currently exposing a purple color, a keyboard piano, a couple of guitars, and an old-fashioned mended couch with a lot of patches over black leather that actually looked really well together. The walls were exhibiting posters, framed cool landscape black and white photographs, and a Youtube silver plaque. She recognized the place right away.

“Wait… this is the place where you record your music.” She asked. Poppy watched Beck’s videos a lot recently at first the blonde was searching for information, then, to find a flaw to criticize with Chloe, but sooner rather than later Poppy found out… Beck was actually a really good musician, so sometimes when she was completely sure she was alone she’d listen to their songs while doing cardio or homework or whatever she was doing. “I was wondering where you found the location.”

“Yes… but also no. I mean, I do the videos here, but I have an audio booth upstairs. It’s actually a quiet neighborhood so it came in handy.” Beck took off their jacket, reaching out their hand to ask for Poppy’s. They both were wet, but not a lot, her shoes survived perfectly because they entered the house before a loud thunder sounded, followed by a deluge. “Damn, we do really dodge a bullet out there.”

“Yeah.” Poppy said, hugging herself. Without her coat, she felt a little cold. “Do you own this place?”

"No, this is my uncle’s." Beck whispered with reverence and a sad smile on their face. "My dad's little brother. He passed away."

"I— I'm sorry, Beck…" she managed to say, clueless about what exactly would someone do in this kind of situation.

"I didn't remember much about him, but my mom says he used to make these guitars out of plastic bottles as gifts for me to play them. She said I would go to the kitchen and play one for her to hear. She also said the sound was awful and she begged him to stop making them." Beck's smile was soft, turning on the heating, proud even though they were chuckling a little, spreading the same smile to Poppy. " 'I'm telling you, this little pal has talent.' he would say."

"Sounds to me like he made it to annoy your mom instead." Poppy said jokingly.

"Totally, he was a prankster." Beck replied, the emotions coming out from their eyes were difficult to tell. "And was one of the few dudes back at Farmsville that didn't want to settle down. The black sheep in every family… and the reason why my parents didn't want me to be here." Beck clutched their jaw, walking away from there to the kitchen. Poppy followed them in silence, feeling like it was something very private for Beck, seeing that vulnerable side of them again, but not hiding this time. "He was murdered years ago here in New York in a shooting. In Farmsville shootings don’t happen, so… They said it was dangerous going out of the farm to the big cities. That he brought this on himself... Took this out of the wrong way." The anger in Beck's voice was palpable in the air.

"Seriously? How can they be so selfish?" Poppy asked, how can someone be so fucking self-centered and dumbass to take a tragedy and blame it on one family member? She thought these things happened exclusively around that bunch of tight-ass people inside her parents’ social circle, but not inside a family farm.

"Back at home is different from here. Is a small town where everyone knows each other. They love routine and hard work and the good customs and shit… So when anyone goes against it… well— it's not funny."

Something clicked inside Poppy's mind.

"But then… How are you here?" Beck smiled but it didn't reach out to their sad eyes.

"Because I almost got killed."

Shock. Poppy couldn't help but feel agitated, her heart pounding loud against her chest and that same protective feeling that almost made her stab Bennett crawled its way towards her own core.

"What?" Poppy babbled, froze. Beck shrugged, with a weird grin as if they didn't know where to start, they caressed their neck, searching for the better way to put the puzzle together. They reach out for Poppy's hand, and she took it right away intertwining her fingers with Beck's.

"Coffee?" They asked. "It seems we will be stuck in here for a while.”

"It sounds nice." The words abandoned her mouth so fast that she even surprised herself, another red alarm ringed inside her mind, but now was not the time, so she ignored it again. Beck smiled and turned on a little coffee maker, bringing two mugs in silence. They both sat down on the surprisingly comfortable couch, Beck’s eyes were attentive at the black drink and the tension was still over their shoulders, she could see it so easily that Poppy wished for someone to take that weight out of Beck, so she took both cups and put them aside, sitting over Beck’s lap and intertwining her fingers with theirs, playing with them. Beck smiled a little and took a deep breath.

"I started to realize something was off inside of me when I was in high school. I mean, ‘till that day I was considered normal. I was the kind of child that played sports, climbed trees, and did hard work gladly. You know, average farm kid." Beck said, but even as they seemed to be calm, Poppy could feel the sweat in their palm, and a little shivering all over their body. "But I grow older and changes came, and puberty and—"

"Hey" Poppy stopped them from talking faster and faster. "You don't have to"

"I want to. " Beck interrupted, begging Poppy with their eyes. "I want you to know my past. I mean… if you want me to tell you, that is."

Poppy could have thought anything at that moment. She could have thought that she made it, that she had accomplished her very goal and knew she was about to have first-hand information to use against Farmsville, that she was spectacular for making it this far. She could have thought that now nobody would take her number one spot from her, or that she loved to have a new puppy to use in any way she wanted. But no.

All in what she could think about was Beck's heart opening up to her, trusting her for real this time. The connection intertwining both of them in a way that made her skin chill. Third alarm, but she muted it again.

"So? What are you waiting for? Go on." Poppy rolled her eyes, Beck had a goofy expression for a couple of seconds until Poppy smiled, squishing slightly their hands for reassurance. Beck's eyes glowed happily in which was the cutest gesture Poppy saw from someone that wasn't a dog in her entire life.

"I managed to handle myself a little for a while, but it definitely didn't last long. I was so afraid, I felt lost, and insecure. I didn’t know what was happening to me, why did I feel that way, trapped in my own skin... I stopped having friends because everyone could see how weird I was and nobody wanted to talk to me, except for this one girl: Bree Matthews."

Beck’s jaw tightened, their eyes wandering all over the place because of the nervousness.

“So, Bree and I started to hang out. Chill some time round. We were close, I mean, really, really close. She was the one who I told about my dysphoria first, and she was totally supportive. She helped me understand what I was going through, sometimes she would borrow her brother’s old clothes to give them to me and helped me pick my very first short haircut. Bree was my safe space in a town where I’d be mistreated just to use a bathroom. I kinda felt for her… so one night into the forest I kissed her. And~ it wasn’t a good idea.”

“What happened?”

“Well~ Daniel and his gang came into the picture and intimidated her, so she sold me as a pervert, a weirdo, among other… awful things. Can’t blame her, Daniel was a wrecked truck whenever he wanted so… yeah. My family found me eight hours after, all beat up from head to toes. I was unconscious and with an actually broken rib.” Beck tried to joke, but it was so bad at timing it actually made it worse for Poppy to hear. “I~ I almost die.” Beck sighed, as if with that they could put all that behind. “Anyway so she apologized to me through a phone call because she wanted to kiss me too but, you know, shit happens; I got better and now I’m in New York doing what I love so… Happy ending, right? It was funny, they didn’t let me use the bathroom but they all thought I was “male enough” to beat the crap out of me ever since.”

Poppy stopped playing with Beck’s hands, making them do the same. They told the end of the story so lightly as if they were talking about a T.V. show they just watched and not some really cruel harassment they went through for a long time. The strawberry blonde was a lot of things, bad things, but the things that beast did to Beck just because of their dysphoria? That was a whole new level that Poppy would never stoop into.

“How can you joke about things like that?”

“Well, I figured I had two ways to address the problem: Being insecure or making the most out of this. That’s why I do music. Yeah, my songs don’t talk about the transgender community directly, but I make sure everybody knows who am I. What I am. I write songs for people out there that feel just the same as I do. Not only transgender people, but the whole LGBTQ+ also needs representation! Folks having their back! And if I can reach at least one soul and show them that no matter how they were born, they can make it… Hell, I could die happily.”

The fire in their eyes, the passion radiating strongly from their body, from their words. It was impossible for Poppy to look away from Beck. Of course, Beck didn’t care about a spot in the T list, or and stupid award. Beck was more into their music, making their voice be heard. That was why they did claim to care less about competition, Beck was climbing their way to the top because of their conviction and resilience. It was curious how the more she learned about Beck, the more she felt drawn to them.

“You are so brave, do you know that?”

“And it only took me a delicate rib and trust issues.” Beck claimed proudly as if it was a bargain.

“Trust issues? Beck, you’re one of the most confident people l know!” They began to laugh, the blonde could feel their laughter below her because of the slight belly-shaking. “It’s irritating.”

“I am really amazing myself.” Poppy rolled her eyes at the flirty smirk Beck flashed towards her. “But I’m not insecure about myself… most of the time. I do have a hard time trusting in people. I mean, Daniel didn’t have a hold on me… Bree, on the other hand…” Beck shrugged. “But I do trust you, Poppy.”

Something inside the blonde felt off, those words accompanied by that good-natured smile made Poppy feel a bit guilty. Like, yeah, she was just trying to archive exactly that for her own benefit, it should feel like a win, right? But no.

“You haven’t done anything wrong, yet.” She said to herself. “For all we know, this is just some casual date.”

Maybe… give up? Maybe actually try and date Beck?

What could possibly go wrong?

“I trust you too, Beck.” She replied without a doubt. So she tossed her golden locks over one shoulder, leaning down to kiss Beck’s lips. She soon felt them kissing her back, sweetly, calmly at first but then it was obvious they both needed more than that. Poppy let go of Beck’s hands to place hers in their Beck, while they grabbed her by the waist. The heat soon took over her body, especially after they responded to it by biting Poppy’s bottom lip, making her moan. Poppy knew right away there was a change in Beck’s behavior, they were more confident, more secure, they actually felt ready and she had to say, that was a very welcome and pleasing development. But they were shaking still.

“What 's wrong? You don’t want to—?”

“No. No, it 's not it. It 's just…” Beck took a deep breath avoiding Poppy's gaze for a second before looking at her pleading while keeping hold on her. “I don’t want you to see me differently when you look at what I have beneath the clothes.” They confessed.

“I won’t. I promise.” She said, caressing the hair in the back of their nape. “This is just you, with all letters.” She smirked, trying to lighten the mood and she succeeded. Beck grinned from ear to ear, relieved, kissing her passionately, hungry and the Poppy did the same, tasting their tongue with hers. The caresses between the two became more intense and she couldn’t stand the fever growing anymore, so she took the edges of their favorite black t-shirt and pulled up, revealing Beck torso for the very first time.

She understood right away what Beck meant. Cutting through their chest there it was a thin, darker line, a scar that was slowly healing, but nevertheless it was there easy to pinpoint. It was strange, she had seen a lot of those mastectomy scars on google but Beck chest looked different somehow, strong, gym crafted, and the scar actually was interesting, sexy even.

“I don’t know what you were so scared of, Hughes. Hell, you’re hot as fuck, I hate you.”

Beck chukled, their confidence coming back.

“Yeah, well… There is not an ugly part on this body afterall.” They grinned.

“I’m going to erase that obnoxious smirk of yours.”

“You will?” Beck grabbed a hold on Poppy’s hair and pulled slightly but demanding backwards, exposing her neck to them to kiss and lick, causing a shaking sigh that turned the heat even higher for both. “Show me then.” They whispered over her skin, their breath brushing bristling her body.

Poppy pushed them down on the couch, kissing them hardly. This was war now, and she would definitely win.

----

Next

[florencewritez]

Euphoric

AN: have a good day <3

WC: 6431  words

WARNINGS: consumption of alcohol, cursing "Mia, babe I genuinely don't know what I'd do without you," I told her as she carefully applied another white dot above my eyebrow to the row she'd already done. Mia only smiled, squeezing my cheeks a little more and telling me to keep my eyes closed or she'd poke them out. Begrudgingly, I did as she asked, tearing my eyes away from the stunning red look she'd given herself earlier. When the Glastonbury Festival started approaching quicker and quicker and me and Mia still had nothing planned, it had been Will who suggested who went as a pair. Angel and devil. Of course, we had to jump on the idea, we'd never pass that photo opportunity. That had been around four weeks ago. Now, it was only around an hour before our group would leave for Glastonbury and I finally felt the festival excitement bubbling in my stomach. Clearly, it bubbled out too, making me squirm a little, as Mia scolded me for moving and again repeated her empty threat of poking my eye. I only giggled. Mia was the least likely person to poke someone's eyes out, let alone mine. She knew it too because when I peeked my eye open, I saw her soft smile, eyes crinkling and making a single star she'd stuck on fall off. By the time we arrived, I was sure they'd all be gone."All done! You can look now."

"Finally." She playfully smacked my arm and handed me a hand mirror. The girl looking back at me felt like a different person. Roségold shimmery eyelids with a small line of white streaking through the glitter. Pretty highlight covering my cheeks and nose, like I'd captured the very essence of a rainbow on my face, complete with two white strokes at the top of my nose. And to top it all off, the white dots above my eyebrow, complete with little jewels in between each dot. Somehow, I actually did feel angelic, more than I had when I'd actually put the wings on that were supposed to be the trademark angel piece. Mia truly had worked wonders. "I can't believe this is really me, you're makeup skills are underrated," she snorted and sat down beside me, tilting the mirror to check her hair, hand tucking a spare curl behind her ear, lips turning up into a smile. "It's payback for styling my hair, don't undersell yourself either y/n." Will's voice echoed down the hall, telling us we were leaving to catch the bus soon and I smiled at the dark-haired girl beside me. I could already feel the music pounding through my veins, the adrenaline pumping through me after the fairground. I'd been attending festivals with Will and our friends since we'd moved to London together, having grown up together as neighbours and decided to pursue YouTube together. Some of my best memories in recent years were spent in a random field usually used for dairy farming, screaming lyrics to a song I didn't know I knew, clinging to someone's wrists as we jumped up and down to the beat. The inevitable headaches were always worth the feel of the moment, not to mention the pictures dotting my wall of the before and after that always made me smile when I woke up. George, Will, Becky, James, Aria, even a few random strangers always greeted me, either pissed out of their mind or suffering a severe hangover. However, whilst Mia's face did make an appearance in several non-festival pictures on my wall, this would be the first time we attended a festival together. She'd only started dating Will a little over a year ago and at the time, she hadn't quite been welcomed to the group enough to join us for festival season. Now though, after nights spent together with our group at clubs or nights out and a lot of sleepovers with just me, her and Aria, it'd be a sin to not bring her. I turned to face her, excitement flashing in my eyes and took her hand in mine. Mia smiled back at me, squeezing my hand. "I can't believe this is the first festival we'll spend together Mia, it feels long overdue." "The first of many right?" I saw a flicker of anxiety pass through her eyes and knew she sometimes felt she didn't fit in our group, even now. I understood where she was coming from, it was always hard to find your footing in such a tight-knit group of people who'd known each other for ages, but truly, everyone loved her just as much as the others. Especially me. "Of course. You're one of us now." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a short tight squeeze, our perfumes mixing together for just a second. It was a sweet moment, my best friend hugging me close, but I couldn't help but tease her. After all, it was Will she was dating. "Though if I have to watch you and Will make out I will puke, that's too much for me. May I remind you I knew him when he was a square little lad in a diaper." Mia rolled her eyes, pulling me to my feet. I was reminded of the silver heels I was wearing on then when I stumbled forwards, grateful for her being there to make sure she caught me. "Oh please, it's not me and Will anyone is worried about. Can we talk about you and Alex?" She winked. I flushed pink, (which probably looked rotten combined with the highlight) and Mia grinned, her tongue peeking through the gap in her teeth. Alex. At first, when Will started blowing up, dragging me along from almost being featured in his videos, he started making a lot of new friends that I had never met before for the first time in our lives. Before that, we'd always had the same friend group, even through the awkward high school years where friend groups were extremely messy. One day, he'd managed to drag me to a bar with his new friends, despite my complaining, and that's where I'd met Alex. Or rather, where we met each other. Stupid swooped hair with eyes that rewrote my definition of blue eyes the very first time my eyes met his. It had been Alex who managed to integrate me into Wills new group and Alex who remained the closest person in our group to me even to this day. Alex who, along with George, my favourite mask-wearing bloke, I moved in with once Wills place got a bit cramped. And of course, Alex who all my friends liked to tease me about dating. Of course, they did the same to him, probably worse considering the boys were usually a bit dirtier mouthed with each than with the girls, but I was the only one who turned red all the time. Probably because they were right mostly. When Mia prodded about the way I looked at him, my efforts to say there was nothing to prod at were all lies. When James would wink at me when Alex would pull me in closer on nights out, always downing whatever drink was in front of him before I could glare. When Will sat me down one day, patting my knee, and asked if I liked him, he saw past my eye rolls and dramatic head shakes. Most of all it was George who brought it up, always finding a way to shove at least five comments a day about our relationship and giving me the look when I'd mumble a comment back. Because yes, of course, I liked him. I had a stupid school girl crush at the same age I got blackout drunk and could legally do drugs in some countries. Alex was the nicest person I'd ever met, always treating me with such kindness and respect. Some nights I'd pass out by my desk when editing, exhausted from the hectic schedule I forced myself to follow. When I'd wake up, my video editing would be finished and there'd be a sticky note by my head, something that would make my heart beat a little faster, with his signature and a small heart. Not to mention the blanket thrown over my shoulders that smelled faintly of him. That was just one of the many things Alex did for me regularly without ever asking for anything. Yet, something deep inside me screamed to not do anything about it, screamed it was purely platonic on his side. Alex would constantly chatter about what a great friend I was, how much he loved me as a friend. For some reason, him friend-zoning me accidentally hurt a lot more than if he hated me. At least then there was a chance he'd see me as something more than a best friend, even if it was a mortal enemy. Mia cleared her throat and I snapped back to reality, laughing awkwardly. "There's nothing to talk about Mia. We're just friends." If Will hadn't called again, I would have been in for a lot of questions and yet another speech begging me to just tell him. Instead, she just sighed and rugged on my arm. "We'd best be going before his head explodes." "That'd be a sight to see. He doesn't deal well with stress you know," I told her, walking out of my room with our arms interlocked. "Did you know during our GCSEs, I found him out my back in the wet dirt, mumbling algebraic formulas?" "Ay, y/n are you telling that bloody GSCE story again?" Will called, peeking his head out from around the corner. His festival sunglasses were perched in his hair and I couldn't help but giggle.  "I'm sorry Will, it's just so fucking hilarious." "To be fair Will," Mia said, holding back a laugh, "it's pretty funny." Neither of us could hold back our laughter and finally cracked when his glasses slid down his face. Will groaned and told the boys waiting on the couch behind him we were bullying him again. I heard James say he probably deserved it, followed by Georges laughter and Alex's giggle. "Are they ready yet?" Aria called, having arrived with James already ready way before me or Mia had even started. Mia let go of my arm and walked ahead to the living room, posing at the doorway. Aria gasped and said she'd looked gorgeous and Will said the same, snaking a hand around her waist. Gross. Still, no matter how gross I called Mia and Will sometimes or how much I insisted nothing was going on between me and Alex, it didn't stop me from smiling like an idiot when he stopped giggling, calling me pretty. Schoolgirl crush. That was all that was. We'd finally piled onto the coach awhile after before pictures already filling my camera roll and only two videos on my Instagram story. One of me recording when Mia was doing my makeup and the other just our group leaving me, George and Alex's apartment to get the coach simply titled 'it begins'. Once on the coach I came to the startling revelation everyone expected me to sit with Alex, the couples all pairing up and Becky insisting she absolutely had to sit with George. My eyes stared out the window, surprising heavy despite not doing anything yet. "You alright?" Alex asked, poking me in the ribs as the coach finally started, several cheers erupting around us. I couldn't help but smile back, nodding my head. His eyes didn't stop looking worried so I opened my mouth. "I'm fine, don't worry Al. I'm just tired for some reason." "To be fair, you and Mia were up half the night talking about today. I warned you to sleep you know, don't blame me." I giggled remembering how he'd come into my room several times to warn me and Mia to get some sleep. Back then we'd only waved him off, saying we were having girl talk. Now, I wished I'd listened as a yawn escaped my throat. "See?" "Fine, you win. I should have slept earlier last night. I'll be fine when we get there, the pure adrenaline will be enough to keep me up for the entire festival." He didn't look convinced. "It takes around an hour and a half to get there you know." "I'm aware." "Go to sleep, I'll wake you when we arrive. Promise." At first, I was going to deny and say I'd be fine, ask his opinion on the latest Star Wars movie so I could listen to him ramble again. However, as another yawn escaped me, I smiled and nodded, telling him he'd better wake me up when we arrived. "Of course I will, I need someone to go on rides with me. We both know the others are pussies." I smiled, eyes closing without me telling them to. "Of course they are. We're the only brave ones on this bus. We'll ride all night." Alex raised his eyebrow but I was too tired to care, leaning my head on the bus window. The loud rattling actually helped ease me into sleep and the last thing I remembered before waking up was hearing a snippet of James and Arias conversation behind me, laughing about some joke I didn't understand. Gross couples. "N/n, mate, everyone else is waiting outside. Can you please wake up." It was dark for a bit, my dream ending before it really begun because of Alex's voice cutting through the cloudy landscape I'd arrived in. Whatever I was lying on was warm and I nuzzled in more, sleepily asking for five more minutes. Alex chuckled and poked my cheek. "We've arrived you know. The first festival of the year? The one you're usually most excited for?" I had no idea what he was talking about till the wings I had on ached against my back. Shit. The fucking festival. I jumped up quickly, too excited to be embarrassed about the fact I'd somehow ended up sleeping on Alex's instead of the window and smiled. "Everyone else is outside yeah? Do I look okay?" It was then I noticed the pink on Alex's shoulder, sticking out a lot against the light blue denim. Crap, my lipgloss. I opened my fanny pack, white to match my outfit of course, and searched for that stupid tube of lipgloss I'd brought to retouch it later. Of course, I hadn't planned to wipe it off completely on my friends' fucking jacket before I even got off the bloody coach but hey, at least I was prepared. Finally, I found the blasted thing, under my purse, phone, portable and a small bottle of vodka, of course at the very bottom and pulled it out, holding it like a sacred Egyptian jewel.Then there was another problem. "Crap, I didn't bring a mirror. How am I supposed to apply it now? Wheres my blasted phone?" Again, I started to scramble through my bag. Alex gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me from shoving my hand around. "I can do it for you, it can't be that hard. I've watched you do it to yourself like a million times."I paused. For some reason, that sounded like the worst best idea ever. I sucked my teeth for a moment before nodding. "Go on then, it's a challenge." I tossed the tube onto his lap and turned my face towards him, urging him to do something before I did. He unscrewed the tube, a focus in his eyes I'd only ever seen when he was working a video before and then gently placed his hand on my cheek, leaning in. I parted my lips as he carefully did his best to apply an even layer of sheer pink, so close I could feel his breath on my face. I gulped, moving closer to him subconsciously, hand gripping his thigh. "I think I'm done," he whispered, pulling the lipgloss down but still not moving back. In fact, I felt his hand tighten into my hair, tugging it slightly. My eyes darted from his eyes to his lips. "Thanks," my voice was barely a whisper, more of a gasp honestly, and still neither of us leaned back. I wondered if his eyelashes were always this dark or he'd changed overnight. "Oi lads, I'm going to have to start driving to pick up the 2 o clocks now. Are you okay back there?" The bus driver suddenly called, peeking his head out of his seating area. I snapped back into my seat, zipping my bag closed as Alex cleared his throat, standing up. He told the bus driver we were fine, that I'd lost a contact and then we scrambled off the bus, pulling oh hands back at even the slightest contact. The moment my feet touched the grass, I was swooped away by Mia and Aria, both smirking at me, eyes wide. "What?" I asked, my voice a lot more bashful than I meant it to. "What was that?" Aria asked, Mia nodding behind her. Arias's hand was resting on my shoulder, Mia grasping at Arias in a small human centipede. "What was what?" Completely inconspicuous, they'll never know. "Dude, James told us he'd seen you and Alex nearly kiss Alex on the bus," my eyes widened and I was quick to ask how he'd possibly seen that, bus windows weren't the easiest to see through. "He went back on to tell you and Alex to hurry up and instead found you knee-deep in a shift session," Mia exclaimed, a giggle in her tone. "Nothing happened. I just asked him to put my lipgloss on because I didn't bring my mirror." Both of them raised their eyebrows and slowly nodded. "Nothing happened," I repeated slower, making sure to make eye contact with both of them. They seemed to let it go, at least for now, and Becky's voice cut through the air and her arms were thrown over Aria and Mia's shoulders. I laughed at their surprised faces smiling at Becky who already seemed to have cracked up the drink she'd brought in her fanny pack. "Come on girls, let's go in before the boys yeah? The real show doesn't start till tomorrow when performers come so I say first stop the pier yeah? I want some candy floss." Becky looked at me, hoping I'd take her side so she'd get her damn candy floss and I complied, laughing and throwing my head back as I threw my arm over Mia's other side. "I'm down for some 1pm candy floss. Feel like we're going to have a lot of that this weekend ay?" Becky whooped again as Mia and Aria agreed and we all started to walk towards the entrance, Mia yelling for the boys to hurry up and follow before they got lost. Still, even as I laughed at another joke Becky told, posing for a video Mia was taking as we entered, I couldn't help but let my mind linger to that bus seat, to my wet lips of floss, to crystal blue eyes, to what could have happened. I tossed my head over my shoulder, hoping to see Will or George or James or even the fucking busman to distract myself but of course, instead, I met the same stupid blue eyes. He stopped talking and looked at me, I took a deep breath and then James nudged his side and Mia squeezed my ribs and the moment was over. God, this stupid tension had to arrive now, didn't it? Couldn't have waited till after festival season? Still, nothing a bit of alcohol couldn't help drown out, right? Right? "Are we going to go on the rides today lads or are we waiting for that madness till tomorrow?" George yelled over music playing, the night being relatively old at that point. Aria and James said they were heading to their tent now so they'd pass for now, as did Mia and Will after Mia persisted a little. Becky tucked her arm into mine and asked if I wanted to go to our tent yet since we were sharing and I thought it over, biting my cheek. The air still smelled like candy floss, as did Becky's breath and probably mine, though there was a slight sting that I put down to the few shots I'd downed so far, not enough to be pissed just yet. That was for Saturday night. I thought it over for another second before shaking my head, pulling back for Becky's grasp. "Actually Beck, you go ahead. I'm going to stay back with Alex," I turned and gave him a small smile, finally meeting his eyes for the first time since the incident and he smiled back. "He owes me a few hundred rides to live up to his earlier words, right Al?" "That's right. You can go back too if you want George, you keep yawning on me." "Yeah, I think I'll pass on watching whatever the fuck that's going to be you're right, I'll make sure Becky gets back to her tent fine. I'll wait with her till you decide what you're doing yeah?" I didn't ponder on what George meant and only let out a whoop, promising Becky I'd get back fine. She smiled, her nose scrunching and she pressed a kiss to my cheek before nodding at George to go. I watched her go with him, a few close encounters with people already puking on the ground from a really bad-or good-night depending on your perspective. I jumped when I felt someone take my hand until I realized it was Alex, his voice close to my ear, making me shrink away. "So Will and that are already boning huh? Think they could have waited till tomorrow to settle in at least." I snorted and pushed him away, gagging at that thought. "Jesus Alex please refrain from giving me that image. Will is still twelve years old to me. Not to mention little Aria with my man James." "Your man James? I'm offended I thought I was your man." There he goes again, that stupid your man joke. Still, it did make me smile genuinely, even if I rolled my eyes to hide how my face was so bright. I took his hand and let it rest over my shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to it as we walked towards the flashiest ride. "Of course you're my man. My favourite man. But you currently aren't riding anything so I think you're a man backing out of his promise," I carefully evaded a man pissing, his poor girlfriend looking disgusted beside him, still keeping my eyes on Alex beside me. "Then let me prove it to you, three rides on this bastard. Unless you're too scared?" I chuckled, stopping to take his other hand and lean up, glaring me eyes threateningly. "Alex Elmslie, you're fucking on. The first to chicken out this weekend has to do what the other says." He thought about it for a moment before nodding, returning the glared eyes. "Okay, then y/n l/n. First challenge is this. Oh, and by the way, I'm not going to lose." Oh, it was definitely on. The last day arrived quicker than anyone wanted to and before I knew it, my suitcase was packed again, ready for the coach that would pick us up tomorrow. Still, there was one more night to enjoy and especially one last performance. Becky put her phone down, sighing as she tucked her hair behind her ear again. "Babe, we have to go soon. Billies performance will definitely be packed and I don't know about you, but I want to be as close as possible." I smile back, finally satisfied with my last day look. A simple soft pink makeup look complete with a light pink dress and flats. Flats made it a lot easier to hop around. "I'm ready Beck, just waiting for the others to show up at this point. You definitely told James and Aria to meet us here right?" Becky nodded, checking her phone again but her eyes rolling at the lack of new messages. I considered just going to save a spot for our group with just Becky until there was a yell outside asking if they could come in. A few moments later, James Marriotts face peeked through the now unzipped hole of our tent, a smile on his face. After another second, Arias's face appeared on top, face covered in pretty blue glitter. "You ready to be going then? Mia will kill me if we don't get a good spot." James tilted his head, a serious tone to his not really a joke-joke. "Oh I know," I edged towards the tent door, smiling. "She's been raving about this performance for weeks now. If she doesn't get to see more than a bean from a distance, she'll have all of our heads." Aria laughed and they both stood back, letting me step into the warm air. Ah, England's summers, surprisingly warm most of the time for such a known shit weather country. "Alex wouldn't shut up about it last night either to be fair though I suspect at least half of that was due to the drink." Becky followed me out and shared a glance with the couple. Aria licked her lips and looked away. Becky seemed to stifle a laugh, disguising it as a slight cough. I narrowed my eyes at James, hoping he'd crack and eventually he did, sighing. "Y/n, we were wondering if that stupid competition thing was still going on." I raised my eyebrows, falling into step with the trio as we headed for the stage she was performing at in an hour. "Yeah, we decided to keep it going till the festival was over. Why, would you like to join?" I teased, receiving unimpressed grunts from the whole group. Aria piped up next, seeming to take a long time in what she said next. For some reason, I felt like I wasn't going to like what she had to say. "It just feels like it's delaying the inevitable or something, that's all." "What's the inevitable?" "You and Alex getting married and having six children, three dogs and a cat." Becky chirped up, giggling. Aria and James laughed along with her. I could tell that I'd turned red and unfortunately, no makeup could cover that mess, which made everyone laugh a little harder. "I don't like Alex, we're just friends." "N/n, we were all there that night last year. Plus, there's behind such a weird vibe with you two lately, not to mention the way you look at each other all the time. Like bloody puppies or something." Aria tells me and this time, my face pales. That night a few months ago. It had been just another late night out at the club, some music playing in the distance as we all had a chat and chugging back as much as we could consume without dying. I decided to be brave and asked Alex to dance, tugging him to the floor before he could refuse. At first, we'd just been messing, twirling and more so stumbling around the place, clinging to each other for support as the world seemed to spin. It'd been just as I fell forwards the DJ announced they were starting romance hour, the music switching from stupid random beats to the soft vocals of Billie Eilish, singing about ocean eyes and falling from a height. Neither of us moved, my arms remaining wrapped around his neck as they had to stop me from falling, Alex's softly placed on my waist. "I like this song," I told him, leaning up to his ear on my tippy toes so he could hear me. "Me too, Billie's proper class." I snorted, falling back onto my heels. "It reminds me of you actually, this song," Alex tilted his head, pulling me in a little closer. "Because your eyes are blue are so pretty. You know, the first time we met the first thing I noticed was how pretty they were, even before I thought anything about how soft your hair looked. Will had to nudge me back to reality. Felt like everything just suddenly made sense." My words were slurred, heavily influenced by tequila and the heaviness starting to fall over my eyes. Still, I felt his lips press against mine, felt how it was better than any drink or drug. Perfectly moulded together, as though it was meant to be. I pulled him closer, fingers curling into his hair and he gripped desperately at my dress, his fingers able to be felt through the stupid fabric.When we'd pulled back, the song changed and I suggested we headed back to our friends, didn't look him in the eye. He agreed and we never spoke of it again. I had assumed our friends hadn't seen, that we'd been swallowed into the crowd as just another couple making out to a song. The look on my friends face at that moment told me otherwise."I just thought none of yous had seen that," I stammered, eyes looking to the ground so I didn't have to meet their eyes. "Of course we did, you were only a few feet away. Honestly, after that, we'd all just assumed you were dating in secret until this challenge thing." James explained, pointing to the girls to back him up. Both of them nodded, Aria looking slightly guilty and Becky just grinning.Great, everyone thought I was shagging my stupid crush. "Well we aren't, that was just a drunk mistake. Me and Alex are just friends, I promise." None of them looked convinced and I decided to pretend nothing had happened, saying we should hurry before all the good spots were taken. They didn't mention how I'd just moved on and agreed, breaking into a conversation about how excited they were instead. Even though I joined in, laughing when James told a joke or agreeing with Becky when she'd waffle, nothing could erase the strange feeling in my stomach. I couldn't quite decipher what it was, nervousness, guilt for lying about not liking Alex maybe, perhaps just pure excitement from seeing Billie. Whatever it was, it settled deep in my stomach and didn't go away, even as the others joined us at the spot we'd found. In fact, it only worsened when Alex landed beside me, whispering that the next challenge was to sing louder than the other, his hand resting ever so slightly on my shoulder. This would be a long night. My throat ached, begging for the relief I refused to give it as my voice croaked out the lyrics to bellyache like I'd be shot if I didn't. Alex gripped tightly at my wrists, both of us jumping up and down like idiots. I could hear Mia behind me, most likely on Will's shoulder and somewhere in front of me, George was laughing at Becky and James' awful slightly drunk dance moves, Aria most definitely recording to laugh at when they had sobered up. The rest of the world didn't matter at that moment and I pulled my wrists away from Alex's wrist to hold his face, laughing at his expression when I squeezed it. The song came to an end, turning into only loud cheering and instrumental as I croaked out that he looked extremely stupid. He pouted more and I laughed more, a slight snort coming out. The vibe of the audience changed when Billie sat down, announcing she'd be singing an oldie. Everyone got even more excited and couples linked together like magnets, arms around necks and eyes on eyes. I rolled my eyes at the gross displays of affection, letting my hands drop to rest on his shoulders. The first chord of the song played and I felt both of our bodies freeze, my throat becoming suddenly sore. Oh. It was that song. Of course, it was. Everyone else was too occupied to notice how we both stopped singing, how I opened and closed my mouth a few times before deciding to keep it shut. Except, of course, Alex and his stupidly perfect blue eyes, squarely focused on my own. "Al, we need to talk." No, we didn't, why did I say that. Shut up. "Okay." Great, no going back now. That'd make it worse. I cleared my throat. "You don't remember this but I can't pretend it didn't happen anymore. There was one night awhile ago, we were both very drunk. We had a moment and kissed. Everyone actually thought we were dating for ages." "Wait you remember that?" I nodded, swallowing harshly. If anyone had asked why my throat was suddenly dry and closing in, I'd have blamed hayfever. That would have been a lie. "N/n, I've been waiting for you to talk about it for ages. I thought you'd forgotten." My heart stopped, mind still doing cartwheels to try process the pure idiocy that was currently radiating off of both of us. Billie hit the chorus at the same time Alex leaned down ever so slightly, lips just grazing against mine for a moment as if testing the waters. I didn't hesitate to press my lips back against his, more full of emotion and present, saying everything my lack of worlds could never. I could hear the crowd cheering and clapping, the song ending, our friends whooping, but all I focused on was my heartbeat pounding out of my chest, his heartbeat against mine. When I finally pulled back, my eyes remaining closed for an extra beat to process what just happened, I saw him smile. Some people liked to say blue eyes were overrated and I used to find myself agreeing with them. Why so many love songs about boring old blue eyes, the most common eye colour, and not the mysterious browns and mesmerizing green? But at that moment, I understood. It felt like I'd seen him again for the first time but also met eyes with someone I'd known forever at the same time. A mixture of nostalgic warmth and crazed excitement wrapped into a crystalline package. Ocean eyes. And I understood. Mia threw her arm around my neck and yelled that this was our song, swinging me around. I chuckled, pulling her in closer by the waist and allowing her to tug me away. Alex didn't mind, turning around to talk, or rather shout, at Will, cheeks slightly tinted and a certain buzz in the way he laughed that wasn't there ever before. Pretty. "So," he said, arm around my shoulder and Ferris wheel slowly reaching the top. "What do you think about telling our friends we actually are dating this time?" I shrugged, nuzzling closer to the soft fabric of the hoodie he'd thrown on, probably leaving flecks of glitter that would never go away. He wouldn't care. He never cared about stuff like that. In fact, I think he had the right face for makeup. Maybe he'd let me do his makeup if I asked for a video, a festival look and q+a wrapped into one. The smell of cotton candy wafted up from above and somewhere below, I could just about hear Becky screaming on some ride. "They can figure it out themselves. Probably already have knowing our friends. Same with the fans honestly. Alex didn't answer, rubbing circles on my arm with his thumb instead. My body let out a shaky happy sigh. "Look, we're at the top now. Stopped for just a moment too." I peeked one eye open and smiled at the pretty sight before us, the lights of the rides mixing with phone flashlights and distant concert stages, smells of food stands, drink, weed, the sound of faint music, screams, laughter, happy yelling. Of course, the prettiest sight to me was the shimmering stars high above us, our interlocked hands resting on his chest. As I heard Becky let out another shriek, I was reminded of something from earlier that weekend and smile cheekily, sitting up to properly look at my boyfriend. God that felt to think without it being imaginary. "You know, technically you stopped singing before me which means you lost our game." "That sounds fair to me. So, whats my challenge then?" I pretended to think, finger tapping my chin as if I didn't already know exactly what I was going to say. "You have to be the one to tell Becky shes staying with George tonight because you're staying with me." He raised his eyebrow and turned a bright shade of red. I only smiled wider. "You lost the game, Al, those were the rules." "I haven't lost anything actually, I'd say I won a lot today," he held our interlocked hands up. And, if I wasn't so very in love with him, I would have puked. Because I was, I just rolled my eyes and made him promise to not back out. He insisted he wouldn't and walked straight over to Becky the second we were off the ride. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a bit more embarrassed than him suddenly when Becky gasped and grabbed my arm, giving it a slight shake and congratulating me on moving from big fat crush to a big fat relationship. The next Sunday, new pictures dotted my bedroom wall and my Instagram feed. There was a few that overlapped, a group shot by the pier, picture of me and the girls all on a ride, Becky laughing so hard alcohol shot out of her nose, me and Will recreating the same photo we did every year, but most were only on my wall. Me and George taking a shot at the same time, arms interlocked, James watching on with pride. Aria and a random stranger who happened to be wearing the same shoe hugging. Me and Mia in our outfits, laughing so hard we cried or spilling drinks on ourselves. A lot of Will and me simply existing together, whether it be dancing or screaming on a ride. Strangers I found interesting. But most were of Alex. A shot someone snapped when we were on the Ferris wheel. Selfies from just about every location at the festival. And of course, my personal favourite, the one James took on the bus on our way home, when this time when he applied my lipstick, I immediately ruined it with a kiss that told our friends everything they needed to know. When I sat down by the edge of my bed to admire my handiwork, years of photos mixing and telling a story, Alex grunted slightly and woke up from his sleep. He sleepily asked if I'd like to make brownies in a bit before pressing a kiss to my cheek, resting his head on my shoulder. His shampoo filled my nose and the soft material of his jumper pressed against my skin. God, I was ever so glad I understood why there were so many songs about blue eyes.

[factual-fantasy]

Got 19 asks, thanks ya’ll! :}

The ask itself aside for a moment, If you told him that, it would make him really upset. He would 100% believe that you’re just messing with him and making fun of him.

He truly believes that he is unlovable because of his appearance, and that he cannot form any new relationships because of it. He feels that the only friends he will ever have are the Wreckers that knew him before he became disfigured and somehow aren’t disgusted by him now. Brown Suburban, being the only one he thinks..

He feels that partly why Brown Suburban is even still friends with him is that his vision isn’t great and he cant quite see just how ugly Bash has become. Which isn’t true, but he cant help thinking this way.

Despite actually becoming friends with the rest of team prime.. he can just.. he can just feel all the optics staring at him. He knows he’s a disaster and is ashamed. He feels like the rest of the team is only pretending to be friends with him as a form of pity.

Now, to the ask itself. I don’t think that’s all that odd. I built Bash Buggy to feel like a real being. So someone having a crush on him, jokingly or not means I did a good job. :}

Also, just an fyi.. every single character of mine besides Suburban, Red Van and Miata are single. ;}  

Ah its alright, things just suck sometimes.

My new job has been helping a lot actually. I finally feel like I’m useful, so that’s a nice feeling. My job is confusing and it embarrasses me when I cant figure out what to do, but that feeling of being worth something drowns them out thankfully.

No I don’t believe you have, why don’t you tell me about it? :}

Oh don’t worry, Suburban will cover that. ;}

I think it would be best to just.. leave Honda alone for now, and let her calm down on her own. <:/

I’m so glad you liked the memes. I always just assumed no one wanted to see them, so it makes me happy to know that at least some people like them.

And I’m glad I made you feel better! You did the same for me. Getting asks always makes me feel better. <:}

And thank you for all the compliments!! I’m so flattered! (*ﾉ∀`*)

Go for it. I wish you luck. 👍

Its been great honestly. If feels really great to feel like I have a purpose now. Something I do finally matters enough to be paid for it. The job is confusing and will take a lot of time to learn and memorize. But honestly that’s drown out by the feeling that I’m finally worth something.

A while back, Suburban got a strange patch of a few little cracks on his front windshield caused by driving though some branches. It looked somewhat like this. 👇

Suburban is now in the hands of a relative that isn’t.. the most pleasant to be around to put it lightly. She has a history of being a real crank pot and just being a jerk to the others a lot of the time. Lets call her SD. (Suburban’s Driver)

I was out on the farm with SD, VD, (Vega’s Driver) and some others. Suburban was parked in front of the shop just hanging out by himself, so I climbed up on his hood to sit there with him and chill because I was bored.

Eventually I climbed up in his roof and sat criss cross on him. The Vega was parked some feet away which was where WD was. WD (White Trucks driver) was over by Vega and was leaning/sitting on the Vega’s hood and we were just chatting.

Then, from across the farm, SD starts crabbing at me to get off of Suburban. She didn’t say anything else. No reason why to get off, she just said to get off.

She’s always been a real crab to me. She knows Suburban is my favorite car so I just assumed that she was being a crank again and hogging the family Suburban. She only said to get off, not why, just to get off.

I thought that was unfair. So I turned around to VD, (Vega’s Driver) and asked if I could stay up there. I told him that SD was crabbing at me to get off and he thought the same thing. He’s like, “Yeah you can stay up there, don’t worry about SD. Just stay towards the edge of the roof to your keep weight off the middle.” So I was like “cool.” and stayed up there on top of Suburban and hung out and talked to WD some more. 

A little while later we were going to leave. I hop off of Suburban, and then me, WD and VD hop in Vega and drive home. SD finishes up what she was doing and climbs in Suburban to follow us home.

When we get home, SD’s real angry and says, “Come here!” and points at Suburban’s windshield. Suburban's cracks had expanded and now look something like this. 

Me sitting on Suburban's roof had put enough pressure on his windshield to make his cracks worse. She got real mad at me for not listening to her but VD backed me up and said that he allowed me to stay up there.

If she hadn’t been a jerk to me so much through out my life, or at least had told me that sitting up there would hurt Suburban, I would have respected her and immediately hoped off. But she’s always been that way and she didn't tell me it would hurt him. How was I supposed to know that was going to happen? I had completely forgotten about the cracks and had no idea that Suburban couldn’t handle my weight.

And VD, the car guru of this family, said it was okay. He hadn’t thought about it too and just assumed, like I did, that she was being a crank pot again.

So, all of these things put together and summed up.. I ignored her demand to get off of Suburban and me sitting up there extended his cracks. Basically, I hurt him. Now that I have a job I plan to try to save up the money to replace his front cracked window, and his shattered back window as an apology..

Deep down. I feel like this plan is going to be more of an apology to Suburban than to her really. At least Suburban only hurt me once.

Only one. She’s way more of a softie than she lets on.

You could give her a high five and she’d smile. You could smile at her and she’d smile back, like, it really doesn’t take much.

She’s so gentle at her core, and it honestly isn’t hard to make it show. :}

As for the real life cars, Green Truck is repaired and is back on the road actually. His steering column has been successfully replaced and now my Volvo is sitting in his parking spot.

Green Truck actually picked me up from work two days as a matter of fact. It was pretty funny! I walked out thinking “Okay, look for Green Truck.” I look straight ahead and at the end of the row of cars sat a gigantic rusty green truck that poked out above the rest of the cars XD. He’s a big boy that’s for sure. 

Honda actually is broken down and in a shop last I heard.. hopefully she gets out soon. <:/

As for the characters, Green Trucks weak leg has been repaired and he can now be sent out on missions as a reliable soldier. This means that Red Van no longer has a confined-to-the-base-buddy unfortunately.. but at least Green Truck is feeling better. Mentally and physically.

Honda has been painting a lot more. Which is a.. good thing..? I mean, its her way of coping, but she’s been getting lost in the ink lately..

Daww you’re welcome. Just returning the favor! I’m sure you’ve sent me a virtual hug or two at some point. :}

😊🤗💕

Transformers: I... think it started a long time ago? Over the span of many years, every few months I would watch one of the Bayverse movies at random just because. I really liked the movies and sometime ago I was like “Okay. I love these movies and really want to know the story.”

So I rented all the movies and over the span of about maybe 2 weeks I watched every single Bayverse movie in order, also the Bumblebee movie. After that I wanted to watch one of the Transformers shows.

I picked Transformers: Prime because it was the only show that had an art style that I liked.. And now I’m here. I’m not done with the show yet. Drawing all of our cars as Transformers has always been an idea I’ve had. Officially getting onto the fandom was the little push I needed to make them a reality.

Gravity Falls: Sometime a long time ago after the show was completed, I stumbled into the fandom. I ended up really liking Stanford to the point I wanted to watch the show to learn more about him. So I did.

Pirates: Probably this disaster child, 👇

Hooo man is this an unreasonably controversial subject. My thoughts on the virus COMPLETELY ASIDE, lets take a look at how the not real members of team prime would react.

I think they would all react the same way honestly. They’d be pretty freaked out and worried. To them, they hear that there’s some virus going around the entire planet, that’s some pretty scary stuff. But its not like they can do anything about it to be honest.. So they would just worry, ask the humans every now and again if its gotten any better and just.. kind’a wait it out with them.

They would feel a little bad to think this way, but they have much more pressing matters to worry about. They would be upset to hear that humans all around the world are sick and stressed.. but so are they. What can they really do? <:/

Assuming that its FNAF 1 and everyone can actually play..

Suburban would be super nervous but determined to finish the game. After getting jump scared once he’d go,

Miata and Jeepy would probably be the only ones who actually enjoy the game, would beat it, and would want to play it again later.

Escort probably wouldn’t play at all. What's he trying to do? Give himself a second heart attack?? But if he had to.. he’d play for a bit, but would dip after the first jump scare.

Brown Suburban would play the game stone faced and only raise his eyebrows when he got jump scared. He would most likely beat the game. Also, his favorite character is Freddy Fazbear because for some reason the bear reminds him of himself. 

U.M.Dragster would jump into it without fear, but would freak out as he kept getting jump scared. He’s too stubborn to quit, so he would probably keep trying and eventually win.

A.T.Dragster wouldn’t like playing it probably, but she is just as stubborn as her brother and would keep going until she won.

Green Truck wouldn’t be able to beat the game and would get jump scared a lot. But at least he’s a great sport and would have fun doing it.

Vega: Y E E T  THE COMPUTER

Red Van would want to yeet the computer but is too gentle so she’d just freak out a lot.

White Truck would be scared the whole time but he’d give it his best shot. If he was determined enough he might just beat it, but probably not.

I feel like Beluga and Honda would be terrified and not be able to get past night 2. But hey, at least they both gave it their best shot right?

Ranger would probably shoot the computer after being jump scared.

Volvo would glitch slap the computer off the table. Scaring a medic is a big no no.

Bash Buggy couldn’t play because he cant see the screen. Buuuuuut, if he could see the screen.. he’d love the game and probably be the best at it. He would play it many times over again and would master the game pretty quickly.

Uhm.. I believe not, sorry. <:{

In Escort’s story, I have discussed three ships.

The first ship was the one he was traveling on with Red Van and Suburban.

The second ship was the one he was tortured on after being kidnapped from the first ship. This ship was supposed to be full of my Decepticon OCs. I.e, Reaper, Blue Truck, Zippy, etc. No real Decepticons were supposed to be on it so.. no Bonecrusher. <:/

Then the third ship is the one that rescued him. It was an Autobot cargo ship that had more of my OCs on it. I.e Brown Suburban, Bash Buggy, Honda, the Dragsters etc.

So... no he wasn’t on any of Escorts ships.. <:/

Oh, so he’s friendly? Well then yeah they’d like a hug!

I just saw the clip of him trying to kill Optimus and assumed he wouldn’t be too friendly. .

And sorry for not remembering him! <:{ Its been a long time since I watched the Bayverse movies and I never heard his name before... Not gonna lie though, his alt mode is pretty friggin cool.

Like, just  L O O K  at it! Noice. 👌

I don’t know if this is what you need to hear, but do it. I don’t care if the drawing is “bad” or “ugly”. Its fanart of my characters, which shows me that you love and appreciate them.

If you want to draw fanart but are afraid of being made fun of, then you don’t have to draw anything. But if you do, know that I will love and gush over what ever you make me. No matter how “bad” it is. :} ♡

Escorts Ducky is named “Escorts Ducky”. :}

And in case you were wondering, Suburban's Ducky is named “Suburban’s Ducky.” :}

[mercuryislove]

don’t click on this post if you don’t want to be like. stupid sad immediately after reading it. mental illness to follow

LAST CHANCE. i’m about to talk about suicide.

...anyway. because i’ve been getting messages in my inbox lately i decided to scroll through what’s in there to see what other messages i’ve received over the years and um. there were soooooo many kind messages from people when i was Really Going Through It and talking VERY seriously about killing myself and like. honestly. if those random strangers on the internet hadn’t sent those messages to me back then would i even still be here????

i try not to think about it too hard anymore because it just makes me feel bad but yes i have attempted suicide several times and yes i was institutionalized once (and yes if you’re a freak you can find my suicide letter still on my blog but why would you want to see that) and to be quite honest i still regularly contemplate suicide. (IN A PASSIVE WAY. please don’t send me to the funny farm again. it was bad enough the first time.) in fact, i thought about it just the other day while i was cooking dinner.

for the longest time i said the only thing keeping me alive was my dog because i didn’t want to leave her behind and have her wonder why i abandoned her. but my dog died last may (almost exactly a year ago). and i’m still here for some reason. frankly i don’t know how or why because i truly didn’t think i’d live this long. i’m going to be thirty next year. god. so much of my life has been stolen by severe mental illness. there are swaths of my teenage years where the most dominant memories are of me sitting alone in my room hurting myself. i feel so sad for that person i was but i am still her.

anyway. my dog is not the reason i have to live anymore. i don’t really know what the reason i have to live for is. i think it’s the little things. it’s like. talking to my friends. doing goofy shit with them in destiny or gta or red dead or whatever we’re playing. painting flowers for my mom for mother’s day. running dnd with my sister and our childhood friend. going to the rock wall and making up silly dances with my friends. sitting at wild honey with those same friends until it closes, then sitting on the curb outside for another hour. getting drunk and passionately singing the opening themes from the kingdom hearts games. dancing in my underwear to shinee. writing stories about dead gods and vampires and their gay shenanigans. going to dollywood and eating cinnamon bread. nailing crow pose for the very first time. getting a full extension in bird of paradise pose for the very first time. hearing people tell you that they care about you, that they worry about you, that they love you, that they want you to be happy.

THE POINT IS. life is not often fun or easy. not to sound like a complete edgelord but oh my god there are times when existence is pure pain. but then there are times when i glimpse pure elation and it DOES make life worth living. everything sucks and life has no meaning except when you find ways to make it have meaning

so thank you to the dozen or so strangers that told me that i mattered and one day things would get better and that even though they didn’t know me that they still loved me. and thank you to my late yoga instructor for telling me that every person (including me!!) has special talents that nobody else in the universe can offer and that one day i would find a way to share them and that it is NEVER too late to find that way. and thank you to anyone who has ever been kind to me. i love you all.

and now i’m going to go lay down and continue to weep. this post makes no sense but i needed to get something out there. i will probably delete this tomorrow

[stray-tori]

More TPN S2 demon thoughts

@just-like-playing-tag​ on TPN S02E01 Thoughts:

I'm not entirely sure, but I'm pretty confident that when Gilda says at the start “it's a completely different forest from where we came” she's not referring to another forest they've seen after escaping, but to the forest they were used to back at the House, the one they used to play tag in. Anyway I loved hearing your thoughts, they're so on point 💕💕 Have you got any particular opinion on the demons at the end?

I personally interpreted it as the forest directly after the wall cliff didn’t have all those magical elements at least for a bit, they then reached that cliff where they looked over the land (which is probably what they mean when they say “we saw a river from above”) and then when they went further I assume that’s roughly where we start and that’s when the fantastical elements begin.

So it’s not another forest per se but the environment changed a bit.

_____________________________

ANYWAY. NEXT QUESTION.

Have you got any particular opinion on the demons at the end?

Sadly my opinion is very much impacted by vague knowledge I already have but my pure anime-only friends’ reaction was “welp, they landed on another farm”, but as it went on, they kind of went away from that idea, thinking it’d be unlikely for them to be so peaceful. they also thought that they’re part of Minerva’s group since they were heading there, but I wasn’t not sure if they’ve been on the way for that long - plus, at the end demon girl confirmed that she doesn’t know who he is, so that’s obsolete. Plus that’s interesting considering he seems to be a fairly wide-spread human books publisher / author / whatever, so either there’s a huge disconnect between human and demon society or they’ve simply always lived in that forest, and therefore don’t know).

I’m pretty curious on if this will go into some philosophical elements (with the whole eating living beings angle and all that fun stuff) or if they have a reason other than sympathy to help humans.* I also wonder if they’ve done so before. They seem to keep an eye on their region, since they acted pretty fast (even splitting up and exactly knowing where they have to go, which is interesting, I wonder if they have any sense or thing for surveillance), but I doubt that children escaping is that frequent of an occurrence, so I’m curious if there’s another reason they keep an eye on the region or if that’s just plot convenience.

* (reason to help humans:) like for example, they themselves seem to be a lot more human than the average demon we’ve seen so far, their masks seemingly acting as a replacement for features they assumingly don’t naturally have like horns and the multiple eyes. Or maybe Sonju just has another horn under the mask’s horn, that’d be funny I guess haha-

I’m not sure if the hierarchy in the demons’ society is the more human you are, the more at the bottom you are because if that was the case, that’d explain why they live in this random ass forest where we’ve only seen one other very animalistic demon (the one that tried to eat them) and of course the ones from GF hunting them, who are kind of humanoid but also really buff and big and kind of disproportionate.

So maybe the more humans ones are actually at the top since the muscular ones tend to be kind of disfigurated like the one with only one muscular arm in S1 (then again that could also be an argument for them being higher since they have brute force, but they seem more like a tool to me) and their masks (...?? Im not sure what they are, I thought it was some bone thing, but then in the OP this happens, SO I’M JUST CONFUSION) seem kind of clunky.

now that I look at it properly, how does that even work??? we’ve seen demons with two eyes before, their eyes were centered and big

and worked like normal eyes, so why are there so many tiny eyes WHAT- that’S NOT HOW EYES WORK.

Either way, what I was actually gonna mention is that the demon below the bone mask thing (and potentially going berserk or something, idk what he did to his eyes :D) actually looks a lot like the demon that wants to eat them in Ep1.

I’m not sure if this implies that

a) this demon is a went-berserk or whatever demon

b) they are simply both demons and so they look alike

c) one stems from the other evolutionary.

Demons in general (see above) seem awfully engineered at times, like the ones I mentioned above and demon “dogs” who run on all 4 legs. (interestingly, and I didn’t really notice it the first time) They even bump into the trees when chasing Ray so they don’t seem to have great maneuvering abilities since they’re so big and heavy.

And while I like the idea of demons being some engineered species by humans or something, I don’t think that’s likely when they seem to have been around for such a long time (GF farm alone has had like 50000 children according to their IDs after all; see my year count post which could of course be wrong! they could be farming a lot more per year but even so, for them to be genetically engineered from the ground up would require them to have farmed like 500 children per year if they “took over” 100 years ago, which clearly isn’t happening in GF at least), so I guess it’s evolutionary (or maybe not, I mean those eyes are whack, so it could also be some magic evolution or something).

Of course it could be that demons are fairly new to the picture and some humans just want to kill off some humans and do some brain research but I feel like they could do that without the entire farm setup and demons too. So I assume, while that technically could be a part of the motivation in the human and demons deal hinted in the OP, it’s probably a given that demons aren’t stemming from humans (but if they do, that’d be very ironic. Imagine bio engineering a species which then forces you to make a deal hsuajds)

In short: I don’t know anything, actually.

WHAT I MEANT TO GET AT ORIGINALLY, if Sonju and the demon girl (i dont think her name was said yet, I apologize if it was - also noteably a female demon! I wonder if that’s why they’re hiding / seemingly living separated. Are girls just not wanted in demon society? there aren’t any in the farm force, neither in the higher ups that we’ve seen in S1 so I’m... HM.) [they] are more humanoid and if that means they’re “higher rank” then I could see them having rejected the society in part and that’s why they’re living in that forest seemingly on their own (though we haven’t seen the rest of their base of course).

So. I hope those thoughts weren’t a complete mess sauihasj (after rereading I can def say they are but I don’t know how to structure them so. good luck)

thanks for reading if you did.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-15th Place

The fifteenth place is a tie, primarily because both of these shows are equally good, in my opinion. Some of you might disagree with me, but to that I say-

ALL ABOARD THE HATE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO!

#15-We Bare Bears (2015-2020)/Big City Greens (2018-)

The Plot(s): Both shows involve an unorthodox family trying to fit in with what’s considered normal. In We Bare Bears, it’s three brother bears (Grizz, Panda, and Ice Bear) trying to fit in with modern society. And in Big City Greens, it’s a family of farmers (Cricket, Tilly, Bill, and Gramma) trying to adjust to city life after the family farm got sold due to low profits. In both shows, these characters make new friends, go on wacky adventures, and learn that they’ll always be okay as long as they’re together.

Aside from that brief description, I can sum up these shows in two words: Charmingly simplistic. There’s no intense continuity, no ongoing story arcs, or even an evilly evil villain hoping to take over the world...for the most part. These are just two different shows, with two types of families trying to get by in life. And honestly, it’s those families that make these shows work.

The dynamic between the bears in We Bare Bears is what makes the show so charming to watch. These three actually act like brothers (from what I’ve been told. I, unfortunately, don’t have brothers), and seeing their brotherly bond does nothing less than putting a smile on my face. Plus, the loyalty they have for each other is downright heartwarming, especially when the series flashes back to when they were kids.

And while I can’t entirely say that the Green family has the same amount of charm to them, there is one thing that I love. And that’s the fact that (kinda spoiler warning) they are an almost complete family in a Disney cartoon, with both parents being a prominent role in the series. Yes, Bill and Nancy are divorced, but that doesn’t mean Nancy isn’t around for her kids. She shows up frequently after her introduction and even gives off an impression that she’s a semi-good mom. In fact, Bill and Nancy seem to still have a level of respect for each other despite missing their old spark. It’s almost as if the writers are trying to say that not all divorces mean the destruction of a family, which I can respect. Because it can teach kids to not be afraid of the “D” word (kinda spoilers over).

But it’s not just the main characters that shine in these shows. The members of the supporting cast in We Bare Bears have a level of likability and depth. Chloe is often outgoing and laid back when she’s with the bears, who fails to make any other connections due to being a child prodigy. Ranger Tabes is often audacious and enjoyably energetic while also taking pride in her work and feels hurt when she thinks she’s not taken seriously. Then there are Charlie and Nom Nom, who have a level of charm to them. Despite being intended to come off as annoying and unlikable. Even the background characters are impressive due to the diversity of cultures and races that a viewer can see in each episode.

As for Big City Greens, the characters do not really have any depth outside of the main cast. What you see is pretty much what you get with most of these characters, aside from maybe Gloria, but even then, it’s only on occasion. Big City Greens also dodges showing diversity by having everyone be a shade of bright pastel colors. But I give credit to the show for having the first gay couple in a Disney cartoon...even though they get dropped by season two and are never fully confirmed as gay. Which pales in comparison to Luz and Amity from The Owl House, but it was at least a start! Sometimes, you gotta take baby steps before taking leaps ahead of the game. And don’t get me wrong, while I still prefer characters who have depth, that doesn’t mean I hate the characters in Big City Greens. Everyone does their job of adding to the story and making audiences laugh. In fact, making audiences laugh is what I would say Big City Greens does better than We Bare Bears.

Now in fairness. We Bare Bears is pretty funny from time to time. However, when it comes to which series makes me laugh the most, I have to pick Big City Greens. The first few episodes alone had me laughing much more than most of We Bare Bears' first season. It also helps that the show has a very random sense of humor elevated by the show’s energy. But I'll give it to you that comedy is subjective, and there are a couple of jokes that don’t work in Big City Greens. The best example is when the show lingers too long on a joke that didn’t really work as much as the writers thought it did. But that does not change the fact that Big City Greens is still a pretty funny show.

However, while We Bare Bears lacks comedy, it more than enough makes up for it with charm. This show is downright delightful to watch in almost every episode. Rarely do I feel anger when watching this series (which I wish I could say about previous/future entrees), and it has everything to do with the cast. I wasn’t kidding when I said that even intentionally annoying characters have a level of charm and likeability to them. In fact, the only bad episodes are when they begin to act uncharacteristically cruel and selfish. Mostly because those words could not be farther from a definition of We Bare Bears.

However, if I had to pick out the major fault that We Bare Bears have, it’s the fact that the show plays things a little too safe. For instance, whenever the show tries to go dark, it is pretty tame compared to other shows. The best example is how nearly every dangerous predator in this series somehow looks adorable. Wolfs, snakes, and even cougars (the big cats, not the middle-aged women) are somehow drawn to be cute and cuddly. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want a show to make kids think that dangerous woodland creatures like these are something you could just give a belly rub. I understand that this is a kids' show, but Big City Greens not only has the same rating, but it’s on the Disney Channel. And yet, it feels like that show has bigger cajones than the series formerly on the same network as Regular Show. That is not a good thing.

Going back to Big City Greens, I can sum up every problem I have with this show with one character: Cricket Green. Now I don’t entirely hate Cricket...but I’m willing to bet other people will. I can tell that the show is trying to make him a lovable little rascal that’s sort of a mix of Bart Simpson and Timmy Turner. But in the end, I think he causes more damage than either of those characters have in their entire lives. Cricket claims how sorry he is at the end of every episode, but I doubt he learns his lesson. We Bare Bears has a similar problem with Panda, but even when Panda is at his most selfish, he doesn’t do anything harmful to anyone but himself (except in the episode “Braces," but we don’t need to talk about that). Plus, even when he does go a tad too far, Panda’s voice actor (Bobby Moynihan) does a great job at making Panda seem sincere when he’s apologizing for his actions. Not to mention that Bobby gives a sense of realism and relatability with most of Panda’s lines. Then there is Cricket’s voice actor, Chris Houghton, an adult man trying to voice a child. I understand the logic behind using an adult over a kid (this happens more times than you think), but I feel like I would get the impression that Cricket is an innocent kid who doesn’t know better if he actually sounded like a kid.

In the end, neither of these shows are really that impressive compared to others. Thankfully with good comedy, charm, and great characters, they still manage to be really good for all ages. So while We Bare Bears and Big City Greens may not be as big as any other show in the last decade, they’re still good enough that you might just bear it!

(Two for one! I told you I would make up the embarrassment that was Dan Vs.!)

[shewantedtobeasecretgirl]

10. Bathroom wall a.k.a. a queen bee, Prince in the shower and a backup Casanova (Part One)

„After all… it could be worse. It’s definitely nicer than the apartment I shared with the Friels in L.A.”

“Spare me the details…” Stone mumbles as we’re walking with our bags and suitcases to our rooms. Every second neon light is flickering, which, apart from making me tic, creates a Hitchcockian vibe here. But we have no choice, this is the only motel in the smalltown in which we are stuck for one night on our way to Charlotte. The tour bus of the crew broke down and after two hours of consultation, the drivers confirmed the case requires a car mechanic. Since we were in the late afternoon, Eric decided to cancel our hotel reservation for this night and we checked in the first and only motel we found here.

“I’m happy we only have to spend one night here. Not that I’m picky but this Bates Motel scares the hell out of me…” Judy glances around nervously, reading in my mind as usual. “It’s that a cockroach trap?” she squeaks.

“Don’t worry, I know how to deal with insects, I grew up on a farm, these bastards show up very often around animals.”

“…aaand that’s exactly why we have to worry…” Stone adds having us in stitches.

“Stoney, your only luck is that I can handle any sort of animals.” Jeff retorts grinning as he walks a few steps backwards to see Stone’s reaction but he tactically waits with his retort for him turning back.

“Oh yeah… and you can’t wait to show her your one-eyed trouser snake.” he mutters and I try to mask my snorts by faking a cough. However much I like Judy and however much I have no idea what’s going on exactly between her and Jeff, Stone’s remarks about their bashful kindergarten romance are just hilarious…

“I’ve got bugs in my room…” Ed shows up in the door we’ve just passed.

“Bugs… and no TV.” Beth puts her head out too.

“Great. All I’ve wanted was to stare random sports coverages with glazed eyes and not to think about anything…”

“Since when have you needed any outside help to do that?” Stone targets our bassist again.

“Well, Mike, you’ve won the jackpot. One night with Stone without a TV… What do you think, Jeff, how long it’ll take until he knocks on your door begging you for cutting his cochlear nerves out of his skull?” she asks raising one eyebrow.

I must admit Stone has met his match in this girl. Honestly, I can’t stand when they are yelling with each other but a healthy level of wrangling can’t hurt. At least he leaves us alone while he’s busy with hating her… and she’s not that damsel in distress what she looks like at first sight, even if Stone isn’t willing to acknowledge that.

“Why does nobody care about ME?” Stone whines. “One night without TV… in the company of Mike McCready’s infamous right hand…”

I jinxed it.

“You know, Stone, I still can strangle you with the left one…”

“EWWW!” the others groan in unison, probably visualizing the scene. Now that I think into it, it’s rude, truly…

“Mike, behave yourself, we have now a lady in the crew; we can’t act like wild boars anymore…”

“But wild boars can’t even…”

“A lady. Of course. And what I am? Or who? Wilma Flintstone?” Karrie shakes her head with folded arms standing in the next door.

“Oh, you’re such a badass that we always forget you’re a woman… Okay, that definitely sounded better in my head.” I duck my head seeing the reproving expression of the others. “What I’m trying to say is that you survived several tours with punk bands, I’m sure we’re innocent lambs in comparison to them…”

“Pure, immaculate babies…” Jeff bats his eyelashes.

“You’d better prepare for getting dirty… since there’s no shower in the rooms…”

“What?” Judy lets out a short scream that reminds me of the squeak of a random exotic bird.

“I’m serious, there’s only a toilet with a small sink.” she opens the door in her room. As I enter to peek in, the smell strikes me. Everything in the room, including the furniture, the tapestry, the curtain is saturated with the massive smell of cigarette smoke. I don’t even know if one could get rid of this level of smell… maybe by demolishing the whole building and sowing salt onto its place…

“Does that mean there’s no shower here at all?” Judy inquires one octave higher.

“No worries, it’s here…” we hear Dave’s voice from the end of the hallway. Judy drops her backpack on the ground and hurries in his direction; after a collective shrug, we decide to follow her. On entering, I count two sinks and a rickety classroom chair in the forefront; I go on with my expedition and find myself in a wider room with each four shower compartments on both sides.

“What do you think, is that the women’s shower or…” Judy wonders. We exchange an amused look before bursting out in laughter.

“Judy, I doubt there’s another one in this building.” Jeff throws one arm around her shoulder. “But I’m sure we’ll find a solution to this problem.”

“S-sure.” she reddens in a second. “D-did I mention I lived in a dorm in my first two years on Juilliard? Actually, there were separate showers for girls and boys but you could never know whom you could encounter there…” she jabbers examining the nose of her shoes.

“And which one did you visit more often?” Stone asks in a phlegmatic manner not showing much interest in the answer since he begins to discover the room with both hands in the pocket.

“Actually, showers have great acoustics so I would use the evenings when everyone was away and sneak in with my bassoon to practice…” her face lights up. The poor girl hasn’t suspected yet what I already know: Stone will use the occasion to embarrass her all the more.

“So you practiced on your bassoon there. Finally, I’ve learned how classical musicians call it!”

“Tell me Stone, what makes you think about penis all the time?” Jeff grins while Judy is only staring in front of herself completely mortified. “We’re talking about animals… PENIS! We notice the lack of TV… PENIS! Judy mentions a musical instrument… PENIS! What would Freud think about that?” he takes his chin between his thumb and index finger and starts scratching it with them, pretending cogitation.

“We should call Amber, the guy needs urgent treatment.” Dave snorts.

“Or I can leave you alone for this evening…” I place my hand on Stone’s shoulder with a meaningful expression.

“Okay guys… I leave you alone and give you five minutes to discuss your pubescent wet dreams or to do whatever you collectively want to, I’m not interested in the details, what happens here that stays here but after the blood returns in your brain, we should decide what to do in the evening since I want to spend here as little time as possible. I saw a bar opposite the motel, maybe they have a TV or maybe we could play pool or foosball…”

“Great idea. Now leave.” Dave tosses her jokingly to the hallway.

I do like her idea, I’d be anywhere but here… but I already know the signs. The knives in my stomach… it’s coming…

***

„Look, Judy and Scully are sitting there!”

“…and that’s why we’re gonna choose another table…” Stone mumbles.

“I tell you a secret: you won’t catch leper just by sitting next to her…”

“I don’t wanna hazard, how would I look with one ear or… whatever…”

“A smaller nose wouldn’t hurt, though…”

“I must say, Stone’s right…” Dave turns back to me. “You shouldn’t breathe down her neck all the time.”

“I don’t…”

“You do.” they answer in unison and Dave goes on like he was the dating guru of the band. “If you like a girl and follow her everywhere like a puppy, she will take it for granted. But if you sometimes act casual and don’t treat her like a princess…”

“… she will have no clue whether I like her or not and nothing will happen between us in the rest of our lifetime.” I cut him off.

“No, it’s all about tactics! You show interest, then you pull back, but you’ve already piqued her curiosity so she takes the next step, then you make a move again and this time you try to get closer than last time, then you take back from the pace again making her jealous… and so on…”

“Come on, it’s not like a basketball match, I hate playing games and dancing things around, I just go and ask her out and tell her how I feel and if she rejects me, at least I can tell I didn’t run circles… I hate making a fool of myself.”

“As you want, Jeff… but one thing I know: the most exciting girls all play “the game”. All of them. I’ll grab the beers.” Dave sums up with a meaningful grin before heading to the counter.

“You should leave her alone. I mean not because of what Dave said, obviously, neither is she exciting, nor is she a player and I’m scientifically not convinced that she’s a girl at all but seriously… you can’t expect much from her…”

“I don’t really care about your opinion, you can’t stand her, fine, but I…”

“… you can’t expect much from her…” he repeats taking a deep breath “because she’s a virgin.“

“Hahaha, Jesus, Stone, forget this bullshit finally, not all decent girls are nuns or spinsters!” I shake my head glancing to the direction of the decent girl in question. Luckily, the TV screen over the counter and the broadcasting of a basketball match on it serve as unquestionable excuse for me following what’s happening at our friends’ table.

“Bashfulness is one thing… and her potato bag-like dresses weren’t designed for seduction either but… I’ve heard something…”

“What? Her reading her gynecology record?” I snort.

“Very funny… you think I’m kidding… it happened at the SNL set. Between our appearances, I went back to our dressing room and when I entered she was… begging Eddie to show her how to use a condom…” Stone gets finally to the point pushing the ash tray back and forth with his thumb.

“Are you high or what? You mean she… she… she asked Ed to grab his dong and…” I’m trying to overcome my laugh attack.

“Jesus, no!!! She wanted him to do it with a banana. Plus, Beth was there too.”

“This story is getting better and better.” I keep snickering as I bury my face in my hand, not that me tearing off my own face would bother Stone in finishing the presentation of his theory.

“Well, it sounds pretty sick at first but if you think into it… she’s inexperienced… she gets on well with Beth… who tries to enlighten her about sex stuff… and she gets the idea that her boyfriend could help her with the male side of the story…”

“Stone?”

“Yup?”

“You’re a fuckin’ perv, you watch too much threesome porn.” I lean closer looking in his eyes.

“Since when has been threesome a perverse thing?” he asks back avoiding my eyes with a lopsided smile.

“I didn’t say that. But fantasizing about Judy discussing sexual topics with a couple who happen to be our friends is definitely only the product of your twisted mind.” I poke him in the forehead with my index finger. “Anyway, this whole incubus is full of contradictions. Like, you know too that Ed can be pretty shy about certain topics, if this scene had happened the way you told, he would have got embarrassed and…”

“I know, it was weird to me too but he even began to joke about it suggesting that we should write a song about ejaculation…”

“Haha, I always thought Mike would be the first to come up with that…”

“You know, some people write songs about it, some people practice it… Anyway, admit it, it makes sense. She’s shy, she reddens all the time, she even makes up a ridiculous excuse just to avoid being kissed…”

“…which is also only your theory, let’s make it clear.” I interject but in the meantime, I catch myself observing Judy’s body language. She talks to Scully with folded arms, as if she was trying to squeeze in and take up as little space as possible. Noticing my distraction, Stone also glances towards them and goes on with his mental leap, not taking his eyes off them.

“Of course… it’s possible that I misheard them. Maybe she was talking about bandanas and I thought it was about a banana. Maybe she didn’t even say “condom.” Maybe she said bottom… or bonbon… or pontoon… or…”

“Just shut up finally!” I grunt still focusing on my target who now tucks both palms under her thighs and listens to our guitar tech with undivided attention. I wish there was a manual on the typical moves of sexually inactive girls… shit, Stone’s tactic works. As always. He’s got that annoying skill to bug with you his impossible ideas again and again until you realize he’s put a bee in your bonnet and crawled totally into your mind. “Anyway, even if you’re right, what does it change?”

“Right about what?” Dave rejoins the conversation and distributes the three bottles of beer before he sits back on his place.

“Whether Saint Judith has already popped the cherry.” Stone grins against the rim of the bottle with sassy eyebrow twitches.

“Geez, don’t you have anything better to talk about?” Dave shakes his head and I reward his reaction by clapping appreciatively. “Anyway” he goes on with a little break while he’s taking a sip “if you’re that curious, why don’t you just go and ask Karrie?”

“I’M NOT CURIOUS ABOUT IT!” I raise my voice. “Excellent idea Dave, I don’t even know why it hadn’t occurred to me before… like, “hey Karrie, has your cousin banged recently? I mean, since she was born?” After all, she would probably only tear my head off and play basketball with it stomping on my dead body. It’d be totally worth trying.”

My reaction makes Dave laugh so hard that he ends up dropping the cigarette he’s just put into the corner of his mouth. As he places it back approaching it with the lighter, I hear a female voice over my head.

“Have you got light?”

The owner of the voice is a tall, slim girl. She isn’t pretty in the conventional meaning but the contrast between her dark hair and eyes and her pale skin gives her a femme fatale look. The red lipstick she’s wearing only multiplies this image; due to the striking phenomenon, it takes me a few seconds to notice the two other girls standing behind her. They are nice but obviously not nice enough to eclipse the vibe of Lipstick Girl. After all, ladies-in-waiting have never been allowed to look better than their queen…

“Sure” mumbles Dave offering the lighter, not that he’s got any choice because Lipstick Girl has already taken place on the fourth chair after her rhetorical question.

Stone and I glance at each other confirming that we don’t have any other choice either than reaching out for each one chair at the surrounding tables and pulling them closer to ours, so that the other two girls don’t have to be standing miserably around us.

“You’re those guys from Pearl Jam, right?” Lipstick Girl inquires blowing the smoke lazily. For no reason, though, since knowing the answer, she goes on with the next question. “And where’s your singer?”

I should have known. They are interested in the famous Eddie Vedder. As ninety-nine percent of people who know the band.

“He stayed at the hotel. With his girlfriend.” I try to answer in a dark voice.

“Oh. That’s too bad. I’m Claudia, by the way.” her face lights up as she reaches out her hand to Stone and I can’t decide whether her sudden enthusiasm is real or she’s a serial killer who’s just found her backup victim.

“That Guy From Pearl Jam.” Stone shakes hands with her.

“And these are my friends, Jordan and Wendy.” she goes on with the introduction, ignoring Stone’s sarcastic response. Wendy can’t help giggling excitedly hearing her own name while Jordan sends a shy smile towards us.

“Actually, we rather call him Stone. It’s shorter and simpler. Sort of… classy.” I explain.

“Yes, and since we’re all “That Guy From Pearl Jam”, we had to find out another names, otherwise we’d never know who’s talking to whom. That’s why we call him Jeff.” Dave points at me cracking the girls up with his joke, of course Claudia’s laughter is the loudest from the trio.

“Actually, we found this dude in a dumpster. We decided to adopt him and named him Dave.” I point back at our drummer keeping our company entertained. Tit for tat. ”By the way, Stone is our guitarist…”

“Rhythm guitarist…” he feels necessary to specify the name of his position.

“Oh my god, I love rhythms.” Wendy exclaims pressing her hand against her chest.

“But Dave is our rhythm master-in-chief, he plays the drums.”

“Actually, bass belongs to the rhythm section too… by the way, I’m the bass player…” I add although I doubt they could distinguish between the types of guitars.

“And aren’t you playing a show tonight?” Jordan finally speaks up but before we could answer politely her dumb question, Claudia humiliates her saying out loud what’s probably not only on my but also my bandmate’s mind.

“Of course they aren’t, what do you think, they have clones or what? Anyway, what are you doing here?” she suddenly turns back into the chatty Catwoman, sending an irresistible smile at Stone. She must be bipolar.

“We’re just hangin’ out… talkin’ about stuff… mostly manly stuff. Porn… tuned cars…” Stone shrugs.

“Oh my god, I love tuned cars!” Wendy clucks in, obviously her sensor for sarcasm isn’t working, in case she has one at all.

“…guns…” Dave adds and despite my expectations, Wendy doesn’t express her enthusiasm this time.

“…and basketball…” I throw in my contribution but I immediately lose interest in the conversation, when Dave nudges me nodding towards Judy and Scully. I immediately decode his signal and glance there too to realize Judy is staring us. And as far as I can see, her expression is curious and confused at the same time.

“You see? It’s working…” Dave mutters between his teeth pretending to listen to the rambling of Wendy and Claudia. “Now make her clear she’s not the center of the universe, you notice other girls too…” he advises pulling out the next cigarette of the pack. As always, Stone reaches out for it too knowing Dave always spares him and pardons his grubbing.

“Wow, may I check your hands?” Claudia uses the occasion and like every time since they joined us, she does what she wants regardless to the answer, which means this time her grabbing Stones right hand and starting touching it enthusiastically. “Your hands are beautiful… how can fingers be that long? And they are so soft!” she also narrates the process, making Stone let out a silent chuckle. Despite being the sarcastic commenter of our life, he can be pretty aloof with strangers and I’m sure he’s embarrassed this time too. Driven by a sudden idea, I basically push my hands in the face of Jordan.

“Look, bassist hands look totally different!”

“Yeah… your finger seems… stronger. I like your rings…” she flushes but I find more interesting the outraged grimace of the girl behind her. Is it possible that Dave was right? She’s flailing as she’s explaining something angrily to Scully, still looking at us… Is she maybe…jealous? Yass!!!

In the meantime, music starts playing from the speakers, it’s Hot Stuff by Donna Summer. Weird choice at a pub without a real dance floor but the girls at our table don’t feel bothered by that fact since they all start screaming grabbing for each other’s hands.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Wendy shrieks. How surprising.

“I can’t help dancing every time I hear it!” Claudia sighs and in the next second I see her pulling Stone – whose hand she’s still holding in hers ­ in the middle of the bar while our bandmate turns back and sends desperate S.O.S. signals to us.

“Yes, let’s dance!”

The two other girls follow them and they encourage us to do the same by shouting back at us. Dave silently grins at me and I immediately know what’s on his mind.

“No. No way. Forget it.”

“Come on Jeff, let’s finish what you’ve started. Everything for the cause.”

As his smile grows wider I realize I have no choice.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I groan as I pinch the bridge of my nose, even closing my eyes tightly as if it could help me turn invisible. “Okay, let’s do it.” I exhale deeply and drag myself after Dave.

I honestly hope this works… And if it does, I’ll want to get a very generous reward for it.

***

„I gladly help you, Judy but don’t you think it’ll be too much? You want to learn everything at once. I mean, I’m not saying you’re not capable of it but I’m not sure that my experiences would be useful… even Brett’s task is closer to that of Karrie’s, so…”

“The more I work with the team the more I feel that I know nothing. N O T H I N G. Karrie’s done this job for years and I only have weeks to become her replacement… Jesus, I was a goddamn idiot when I said yes.” Judy leans her forehead against her palms with a desperate sigh. “This whole job is about physics that has never been my strength…” she lifts her bottle to her lips, which is a move she’s done very often tonight. Actually, I don’t mind it, she hasn’t been very talkative to me but seemingly, beer proves to be an effective tongue loosener at her.

“Come on, do the others look like rocket scientists?”

“Of course not. But everything what they learned by experiencing step by step, I have to compensate in like… weeks? A degree in physics or electrical engineering would be more useful than my skill to recognize chords by ear or analyze a fugue theme or…

“And why do you think that the guitar tech could introduce you into the mysterious world of sound waves and frequencies? I basically just tinker with Stone’s guitars, prepare him cold beer on the amp and hand him the towel between songs…”

“You forgot to mention your supernatural ability…”

“…which would be…?”

“First, being able no to vomit of the look of his sweaty body… and to bear him, generally. Seriously, man, you should receive the Nobel Peace Prize, it’s some achievement.” she glimpses narrow-eyed at the three-fifths of the band. It’s beginning. They don’t even need to be in any interaction to find excuses for sparring. “Sorry, I know you get on well with each other, he’s your friend, yadda-yadda… but he simply gets on my nerve and he even enjoys it.”

Actually, that’s exactly what Stone keeps telling about her too but I rather swallow my remark. When the guys arrived, I was about to wave them so that they came over but she almost broke my arm and categorically declared she couldn’t even bear the sight of him. I thought her liking the other guys could make her overcome her aversion but I was wrong.

“Karrie hasn’t allowed me yet to do anything with her soundboard during the gigs but she gives me smaller tasks at sound checks and encourages me to experiment with the setups… although I feel like I’m wasting everybody’s time and I’m just pushing buttons senselessly like a lab chimpanzee… I mean, the others tell me too if I don’t manage to do what they are asking me for but I also receive positive feedback from them when I’m accidentally doing something right. But Stone… he basically disagrees only for the sake of tension and he changes his mind in every two seconds… so even if I sometimes start feeling useful, he ruins this feeling with one single word or a smug face…” she goes on talking faster and faster, putting accent on every mentioning of Stone by beating her bottle against the table.

“I don’t want to desperate you but you’d better begin to prepare for new challenges… it’s already April, the season of outdoor gigs has just started… which means you can forget everything you’ve already learned because those are completely different than shows in smaller smoky clubs…” And they give Stone infinite number of variations for finding flaws and mistakes in her work but I keep this information for myself, seeing she’s stressed out enough even without that.

“Great. You really know how to soothe people, you know?” she remarks with a bitter half-smile. “And here we are…”

“What?” I ask and follow the direction of her look as she nods towards the guys who are now surrounded by a few girls, probably local bar beauties. “Oh, it’s nothing serious… it happens from time to time and I’m sure it’ll too more and more often. But they’re not interested in girls who are interested in rock stars.” I shrug.

“ ’Course. Not at all. Guys who are not interested in girls. Sure.”

“I’m serious, I mean, they don’t practice celibacy but neither of them is into hookups with fans.”

“That’s what I’ve heard too. And they do seem to be honest guys but who believes in fairy tales?” As we keep observing them, we witness the ladies settling down at their table and engaging into a lively conversation with them. “You see?” she comments on the scene but despite the victorious confirmation she’s right, I discover hints of other feelings on her face too… maybe… envy?

“Okay, you’re a little right. Dave is a huge flirt. He loves being surrounded by girls, complimenting them, chatting them up and apart from a few exceptions, that’s all.” I admit trying to direct the conversation to neutral fields since I suddenly realize what triggers her reaction. I’m a moron for catching on so slowly but better later than never… She obviously feels neglected by Jeff. They’ve just begun to hang out together, they’ve already had a sort-of-a-date… and now she thinks he’s lost interest in her. “But Jeff is a very loyal type, he’s like a brick wall with bimbos…” I put him on pedestal but she doesn’t seem convinced.

“Jesus, those typical, trivial girly tricks, I can’t believe he buys them.” she goes on as if she hadn’t even heard me.

“I… I wouldn’t think anyone of them is his type, I mean of course I didn’t know all of his exes but…” I babble effortlessly and my words finally reach her brain.

“What? Exes? Whose exes?” she tilts her head furrowing her eyebrows uncomprehendingly. Okay, that’s definitely not what I expected.

“Jeff’s..?” I ask back with the same helpless expression.

“Who the hell cares about Jeff?” she startles impatiently. What. The. Fuck. “I mean of course I care. About Jeff. And when I say “care” I mean “care”, like, we all care about him, right? We care about him since he’s our friend. We’re happy when he’s happy and we comfort him when he’s sad because he’s like our…”

“…brother?” I help her out since her version about the concept of care sounds more and more like the kindergarten edition of Oxford Dictionary.

“Uhmmm…” she hesitates and I’m sure she’s fast-backwarding all their interactions in her head, sorting out the potentially incestuous ones. “He’s a guy who doesn’t owe me anything.” she defines finally the situation.

Thanks, Judy, I feel a lot smarter now.

“Seriously, groping a guy’s hand??? Couldn’t she be cheaper?” she exclaims flailing outraged. As I follow her gaze, I spot a black-haired demon sitting next to Stone who’s playing with his fingers fliratiously.

“Stone??? Were you talking about him the whole time?”

“Of course, about whom else?” She rolls her eyes as if she was just explaining that one plus one is two.

“But you hate him…”

“Yup. I do.”

“Then why does it bother you?” I glance at the hand porn scene.

“It bothers me because he’s the only one of them who’s got a girlfriend and look how he’s behaving…”

“How is he behaving?”

“Are you blind, man? She’s flirting with him and he doesn’t stop her while that poor girl is waiting for him somewhere in Seattle…”

“Look, “poor girl” is the last thing I would say thinking about Amber… Anyway, you don’t even know him properly. He doesn’t encourage girls in whom he’s not interested but the fact he doesn’t take them seriously doesn’t mean he has to be rude with them either.” I defend my friend involuntarily.

“I get it, the only girl with whom he has to be rude is me.”

“What the hell does that have to do with you? And think what you want but I’m sure he’s not cheating on Amber, that girl in Utrecht was only a misunderstanding…”

Oh, fuck, I should have kept my mouth shut.

“THAT GIRL IN UTRECHT? I KNEW HE’S A WHORE!”

She’s probably trying to sound like an enraged lion but she rather reminds me of a furious kitten.

“It was just a stage diver girl… she climbed up on the stage, complimented his guitar play and asked him for a kiss… and since he only kissed her on the cheek, she stole a peck from his lips and then jumped back in the crowd, that’s all!”

Jesus, there’s no chance I get away with this.

“A peck on the lips, an orgy, what’s the difference?” she spits the words disgusted.

“He claimed she had been sweaty and smelled like cheap red wine, he shotgunned three cans of beer until he felt human again, I saw it with my own two eyes!” I lose my temper too and force her with my index and middle finger to keep eye contact with me. By this time we’re basically yelling with each other since the music got louder in the meantime and we have to outshout an evergreen disco hit of Donna Summer.

“Then be ready to spill bleach in those two eyes!” she points towards the guys and I can hardly believe what I see.

The three girls are already dancing in the middle of the bar and… Jeff, Stone and Dave… are joining them?

“Actually, Jeff is a better dancer than I thought, I would have assumed he moves like a bear… but he’s not bad at all…” Judy giggles surprised at our bassist who picked up the rhythm successfully by mixing basic disco dance steps with the moves of belly dancers. Meanwhile, Dave is swaying his hips back and forth keeping his two hands on the nape like a parody of male strippers. The girls appreciate them fooling around, apart from the black-haired one who’s too busy with activating Stone.

“But Stone… he seems to have left his dance shoes at home.” she acknowledges shaking her head with a half-smile. She’s basically reading my mind; he’s the only static feature of the scene, bobbing his head and tapping the beat with his foot, digging both hands in his pocket.

“Well, yeah… he doesn’t feel comfortable without his guitar. I remember them playing a gig in Stockholm when something went wrong with his Les Paul. He couldn’t fix it but his other guitar wasn’t tuned back… and it happened during the last song so it wouldn’t have made much sense to do it, I could have made it only by the end of it… So he put down the guitar but didn’t really know what to do, like you just don’t start to dance to Leash but standing on the stage like statue while the others are playing out of their minds looks also lame… So he tried to move to the music but to be honest, I thought he was getting an epilepsy attack…”

“Hahaha! Truly, he doesn’t seem to be familiar we the concept of dance at all…” she giggles staring at him, while he’s still standing at the same spot as if he was pinned to the ground. Only his bobbing gets more intense as the black-haired girl begins to dance him around with seductive hip circles.

“Maybe we should hang a guitar on his shoulders to make him bounce on one leg at least, as he does it at the gigs… WHOA! This so disgusting and vulgar! Look, how much he enjoys it!”

“How much?” I roar back since apart from the repeating hair flips and the constant smirk, the girl doesn’t receive much feedback from our Stoney. But for some unknown reason, Judy seems to be watching a different movie than me.

“He’s basically drooling…”

“Why? Because he’s smiling? Come on…”

In the meantime he’s forced to make a few almost dance moves in order to keep his balance since his partner decided to stimulate him by rubbing her back to his… which drives Judy completely out of control.

“GET A ROOM!” she jumps to her feet kicking her chair back. “I have to pee.” she announces with a sudden and suspicious nonchalance to compensate her outburst. But after making a few steps towards the restrooms, she turns back as if she realized she forgot to mention something. “To be exact, I also consider puking.” she adds sending a last icy look towards the target of her anger before she leaves with indignant gasps.

***

I still hate public toilets, especially those of bars. The compartments are narrow and dirty, and the bolt is mostly just a decoration without any useful purpose. Just like here. I have to hold onto the door handle, balance over the toilet bowl and try not to bang my head against the door at the same time; of course the seat is missing, not that I’d ever sit on it at a place like this one. At least I can tell I’ve done something for my abs today… Everything resonates to the pulsing rhythm of Hot Stuff; the song that have always landed on the record player whenever Effie or I or both of us have wanted to dance some shit out of ourselves… until now. It’s like it’s got stolen from me, it’s my song, it’s our song, and now they’ve desecrated it. I can’t imagine I could ever dance to it again without seeing that pathetic mating ritual in front of myself. At least the usual obscene drawings and messages on the wall distract me from playing that scene over and over again in my head. I’ve always enjoyed examining the scribbles in restrooms…. The only thing I can’t figure out is the huge amount of phone numbers, what’s the point in writing them on the toilet wall? Has anyone ever called a phone number found here? And if the answer is yes, what might the caller have said? “Hey, I saw your number at the loo while I was pooping and I immediately liked it so would you go out with me?”

Shit, that distasteful squeezing… I haven’t put much past him, anyway but somehow I thought he’s a more thoughtful guy, I mean, he’s a fuckin’ idiot but him being only a stupid fuckboy kind of surprised me. Whatever, it’s not my business. His girlfriend will be certainly happy for the “little gift” he will bring home for her, if he goes on like this…

I’m already with one leg out of the compartment when I hear the door of the room opening and the loud giggle of female voices makes me startle and pull back to cover.

“Oh my God, I still can’t believe we encountered them right here, right now!” a high-pitched voice peeps. It reminds me of the sound of a rubber chicken.

“Yes, I thought they stayed at fancy hotels and went to party to exclusive bars… and yet, they show up in our boring little town… and they are so nice guys!” someone else joins the gushing.

“Oh my God, Dave is so funny!” Rubber Chicken chirps.

Great. I’ve got trapped by the cheerleader group.

“Yes, he is… but I like Jeff the most… he’s got a good sense of humor too but he seems to be a serious guy at the same time… did you hear him mentioning he’s a painter too? Artists are very sensitive people… and Jeff alliterates with Jordan…” the speaking partner of Rubber Chicken adds sighing. “And Stone is a very handsome guy too but I don’t understand all of his jokes…”

You don’t even know how lucky you are, my child…

“That’s not a huge problem, since you won’t talk much with him, he’s mine.” a deeper, confident voice puts an end to the distribution of testosterone. She must be the Alpha Female who wrapped herself around Stone. Jesus, I don’t want to listen to them raping the guys verbally… I take a deep breath and walk out to the sinks… or I’d walk there if they weren’t blocked by the Three Graces who are very busy with fixing their makeup.

“Ahem… sorry…” I clear my throat because my silhouette showing up behind them in the mirror doesn’t really bother them in the process.

“Oh, I’m ready, come…” the admirer of Jeff turns back and sends a smile at me. She seems to be a kind girl, anyway. Alpha Female is still rubbing her eyelids, trying to remove the dark spots of superfluous mascara, while Rubber Chicken is following the procedure with undisguised wonder.

I squint in the mirror as I clean my hands under the running water. Alpha Female is tall, like, very tall, I look like a garden gnome next to her. Her skin is pale, even paler than mine but she’s not afraid to wear dark, smoky eye shadow and fiery lipstick. How do these girls do it? Every time I try to do something with my face, I feel and look like a five-year-old little girl who stole the content from her mom’s drawer. Even the tiniest change seems to be conspicuous and makes me want to tear my skin off… but she looks just gorgeous. It’s not fair.

“Oh my God, Claudia, that rouge looks so beautiful on you!” Rubber Chicken purrs.

So her name is Claudia. Why does that make me think of chlamydia?

“It’s beautiful and very functional.” Alpha winks as she pulls out the item in question of her purse to thicken her juicy-looking lips. “Water- and kissproof.”

Yeah, beautiful. Lipstick on a pig.

“Whadh?” Alpha freezes with slightly opened mouth.

Shit, did I say it out loud?

“Noothing… I just… sneezed…”

“Aha… hey… I shaw you adh dhe dhable widh dhadh dhudhe…”

“Really?” I ask back to win some time to decode the message behind her sloppy articulation.

“Yeah… Jeff said you’re with them too.” Alpha talks on to her own reflection before pressing her lips together for the sake of even texture. “Are you someone’s sister?”

Our eyes meet it the mirror.

“Oh yeah, I am, just like the massive majority of the female population of Earth.” I mumble as I tear a piece of paper towel.

“I mean, the sister of someone in the band or the crew, smarty-pants.” she rolls her eyes.

Oh. So we’re having a chitchat. As always, I start feeling uncomfortably of watching myself too long in the mirror so I begin to check my hair, even if it makes absolutely no sense since I braided it as tight as possible in the morning, my braids could survive even the shock wave of a nuclear explosion.

“I’m in the crew. As a member.”

Okay, I’m only the second cousin of a crew member but I doubt she would understand that degree of family relationships.

“Then you must know Stone very well.”

I know him better than I wanted to…

“Uh… yes, I kinda know him.”

“Ish he shingle?” Alpha inquires still finding tiny flaws in the artwork she’s creating.

“No, he’s got a girlfriend.” I answer quickly. “It’s a serious thing… I mean, as far as I know.”

Okay, I don’t know shit about his love life but he’s been touring for months and they are still together so it can’t be just a fling, I didn’t lie.

“Is she here too?” she turns suddenly towards me, drawing a circle with her index finger in the air.

“Oh no… no… she’s ahem, in Seattle.”

“Hahaha, then he’s single.”

Okay, I can’t really argue with this attitude properly.

“And what is he like? What type of girls he digs?” my interrogation goes on.

Should I say deaf-and-dumbs?

“Uhm… he’s an aloof weirdo so honestly, I have no idea.”

He’s the most distant member of the band and sometimes he does have an alien-like manner, so this time I didn’t lie either…

“You mean he’s shy?”

Jesus, if that’s the equivalent of “aloof weirdo” in your poor dictionary then yes, he’s shy, whatever…

“Sort of…”

“We can fix that, shyness is no problem to me… Yes, the lanky one is mine.” she smacks satisfied at her mirror image, examining the result with a content smirk.

“Do you have further questions or may I…?” I point with my thumb towards the door.

“I know everything what I need. Thanks, Peanut!”

Peanut? PEANUT??? My head is pounding as I escape back to the bar. It takes me long seconds to spot that Scully relocated to the table of the band members, he’s the only one there right now, though, since the others are standing at the counter to provide the supplies.

“Hey, what’s that?” I ask pointing at the shot glass in front of him as I plop down.

“It’s tequila but it’s mi…ne.” he waves resigned since I grab and guzzle it in the blink of an eye.

“Sorry, I needed it.” I shiver and frown. I’ve realized again that I hate tequila but it seemed like a good idea. “I met them in the restroom.”

“Whom?”

“The Slut Squad. They’re about to hunt the guys down.”

“So what? I think you’re overreacting, anyway, they are big boys and already know how to take care of themselves…”

I doubt it… The trio joins the guys and now they don’t even try to hide the official result of the sharing. Rubber Chicken and Jordan at least show some self-restraint but Claudia shifts to next gear, or maybe she even skips a few one since she laughs hysterically at every comment of Stone and tries to mesmerize him by staring at him with an irresistible smile And obviously, she uses every imaginable excuse to touch him. The guys offer their drinks gallantly to their temptresses who are now heading to us with awkward snickering. Of course Claude didn’t forget to stroke Stone’s upper arm to express her gratitude for the beer…

“Shit, they are coming… act naturally!” I nudge Scully.

“I act naturally, it’s you who’s turned into a rabid squirrel…” he grunts back.

“Shh… HI GIRLS!” I greet them hoping my voice doesn’t sound too fake and try to ignore that I can see Scully burying his face into his palms from the corner of my eye.

“Hi Peanut… and…?”

“Scully. Guitar tech.” he waves still keeping the facepalm with one hand.

“Oh my God, I love guitars!” Rubber Chicken exclaims.

“I used to love them too. But if you tune them so many times in a day that you start dreaming about them, taste changes fast, trust me. Nowadays I’m rather into trumpets.” he adds with a serious face.

“Oh… really?”

Poor Rubber Chicken, she’s obviously too slow to follow the usual pace of our conversations.

“Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers plays the trumpet too…” Jordan remarks.

“You’re right, have you heard their latest album? It’s…” I greedily seize the first reasonable topic they throw in but Claudia insists on discussing her project.

“He seems to have taken the bait. Dear God, he’s so sexy, I can’t handle…” she moans.

“And he’s got a first-class butt…” Scully sighs dreamily, which makes me bite my lips to suppress the laughter developing in my chest.

“Don’t torture me… do you think he likes me?”

Yes, I was thinking the same about the quitting of torture, you’re monomania is pure torment to us. But how can she ignore the fact so shamelessly that he’s not independent? Not available, forbidden fruit, taboo…

“As I said he’s got a…” I’m about to remind her of the relationship status of her victim but I realize it wouldn’t make any sense. I fell into the trap of thinking her mindset is similar to mine… motivation! That’s the key, in crime series, police officers always catch the murderer only after finding out about their motivations… And her motivation is… sex, of course. “…a charm. He’s so sweet, right? A real cutie pie!” I groan with the most plastic smile I can put on. Scully freezes for a second, and then almost chokes on his beer, probably thinking I’m losing my mind, but I’ve never been saner.

“Sorry, it’s just my reflux.” he hits himself in the chest with his fist.

“Look at his smile! And his laughter…”

“Yeah, his laughter, exactly…” that is as pleasant to hear as a chalkboard scratching “It’s such a pity for him…”

“How do you mean?” she jumps immediately on my remark.

I take a deep breath. If I go on, there’ll be no way back… and I should think about the consequences… But seriously, Judith Emilia Camden, just think back how he’s treated you since you met! You’re not his doormat. He deserves it, he’d deserve even much more. As I glance at him only to see his smug grin, I already know there’s no point in hesitating, I know what to do.

“I mean such a nice guy… but with his preferences, it’s so difficult for him to find the right girl…” I pretend concern.

“His preferences? What preferences?”

Maybe it’s the anger, maybe it’s the tequila but as I go on, my tongue gets totally out of control…

[serendipitous-magic]

Director's Cut: Real Season 3, your take on the theater scene

(For the “give commentary on a scene you’ve written” thing)

OKAY SO I’M ACTUALLY REALLY GLAD YOU MENTIONED THAT SCENE BECAUSE THERE’S SOME VERY CLEVER FORESHADOWING IN THERE THAT I’M NOT SURE IF ANYONE CAUGHT. (Ahem.) I don’t think I’ll actually point it out, so that it can still be A Surprise, but just allow me to say that I am stupidly pleased with ~something~ in that section.

That being said, I’m interpreting “the theater scene” as like all the way through the theater scene, like from the movie starting to after Will’s episode, so (rubs hands together) here we go. Buckle up, kids. I’ll put it under a “read more” line and hope that works (Tumblr has been so weird about “read more” lines, has anyone else had that problem?)

-_-_-_-

Will ranks movies based on how easily they can make him forget the outside world. A score of one means, what movie? and a score of ten means, what real world? 

This one is an eight.

Will gets swept up in the story, delighted by the clocks and the Delorean and all the old-fashioned ‘50s stuff and Doc Brown’s exaggerated facial expressions - and captivated by Marty McFly’s skateboard, turned-up collar, guitar, and handsomely rumpled hair. He’s even able to mostly forget how crisp the air conditioning is, in here. The air smells like buttered popcorn; his tongue is probably stained red with artificial strawberry; and for the first time in a long day of hiking and racing across town, he’s sitting down in a comfy chair. A good end to a good day. 

It’s long been a headcanon of mine that Will gets a bit of a crush on Marty McFly when BTTF comes out in summer of 1985. I mean…

C’mon. He skateboards. He plays guitar. He’s clever (“Whoa, whoa, Biff… What’s that?”), he’s funny, he’s handsome, he’s cool and he knows it, he’s confident… Tell me Will wouldn’t be blushing in his theater seat. Go on.

His mood is dampened just a tad when he glances over and happens to see Mike’s fingers linked with El’s, as per the usual. 

“Whoa. Whoa, Doc, stuck here?” Marty says from the screen. “I can’t be stuck here, I got a life in 1985! I got a girl!” 

“Is she pretty?” 

“Ah, she’s beautiful.” 

Will looks back to the screen, because he doesn’t want to see the meaningful, affectionate glance that Mike sends his girlfriend. 

I just had fun kind of using the movie to bounce back and forth with what’s going on in Will’s head - like how Marty, in the movie, says, “Ah, she’s beautiful,” and Mike gives El this meaningful look and Will has to look away. That was just so much fun to write. I actually had this scene of BTTF pulled up in a different tab while I was writing this scene, to refer to, so I could get the dialogue right.

“She’s crazy about me. Look at this. Look what she wrote here, Doc, I mean, that says it all. Doc… You’re my only hope.”

Crazy about me.

Yeah, crazy -

“Crazy,” as related to being in love, has been somewhat of a motif through Stranger Things. We’ve got, of course, “Crazy together,” but also “Only love makes you that crazy, and that damn stupid,” and, “It makes you crazy,” etc. And I do believe I’ll be using that motif a bit, myself, in the rewrite. (Hueh hueh hueh.)

“Marty, I’m sorry. But the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is a bolt of lightning.” 

At first Will thinks that the sudden darkness is part of the movie. And then, when the audience groans and he sees that even the exit signs above the doors have gone dark, he realizes what happened. 

“Aw, c’mon,” Lucas gripes from somewhere in the darkness.

There’s a general muttering and shuffling as the packed theater protests the blackout.

Spreading.

Where his hand rests on his thigh, Will’s fingers twitch.

It’s spreading.

The blackout.

This was kind of a half-callback to S2 where Will is trying to explain to Joyce and Hopper what he’s feeling/seeing with his Now Memories, and he says something like, “It’s growing, and spreading, and… killing.” 

Sweeping across Hawkins in a powerful, silent surge. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he does. He can feel it. Hot bulbs going dark; buzzing wires falling inert, lifeless.

Everything inside of Will drops. A horrible, sick, sinking, numb-cold swoop that starts to spiral somewhere in his gut, tingling up his spine and at the base of his skull, prickling at the back of his neck until one hand twitches up to press at the skin there.

It’s moving.

The knowledge comes to him unbidden, imparted to him with a sinuous, papery, reverberating flutter - like the sound of thousands of insect wings all beating at once, and Will wants to scream, he wants to bolt out of his chair, but he’s frozen.

His fingers are shaking. Something at the pit of his throat is shaking. His whole body feels like it’s sinking through the floor, leaving itself behind, his limbs going cold and weak as if he’s about to faint. His head swims.

I wanted to be as physical as possible with the descriptions of how the Mind Flayer feels. That little bit of dialogue we got from Will in that-one-season-that-never-happened actually gave some nice details: how it feels like dropping on a roller coaster, but cold. 

Sluggishly, as if in a dream, he drags his hand off of his neck and gropes for the seat next to him. His mouth is already forming the M, voice ready to croak out one single syllable, when his fingers rake through thin, cold air.

His first instinct is to turn to Mike. ‘Nuff said.

There’s no one in the seat beside him. There’s no one in the whole theater. The air-conditioned, popcorn-scented air has gone frigid and sour, and Will is on his feet. Turning in circles. Scanning the dilapidated space wildly, shoes fumbling and slipping over slick, fleshy vines. 

No.

No, no, no, no, no no no -

His eyes haven’t adjusted to the dark, but the blueish gray palette of shadows is so horribly, cruelly familiar. And the fluttering - that dry, hissing, grinding flutter seems to spike through his whole body, shooting through him from neck to fingertips to toes, making him grimace, driving his feet forwards in a panicked, instinctual stumble towards the door. 

It’s not real.

He tells himself that as he shoulders open the swinging door, coughs into his hands at the sting of toxins in his lungs. The coughing is as sharp as gunshots in the dead silence, echoing harshly through the darkness as he propels himself through the theater lobby. Spores drift listlessly in the stale air, bringing back a thousand memories, a thousand deeply ingrained instincts to run and hide and -

It’s not real. I’m not here. Not really.

He’s twelve years old again. Cold and alone and scared, the soles of his sneakers skidding on sludge. Jerking away with a half-swallowed sob as a fringe of dangling vines comb over his cheek.

Okay so Will is stuck between two conflicting reactions right now: a) instinctual, trauma-driven mortal terror, and b) complete denial. At this point in the story, he’s gonna be doing everything he can to convince himself that this isn’t real, it’s not really happening, it’s just a flashback, he’s just seeing things. But at the same time, being abruptly thrown back into the UD for the first time in sixth months is triggering a whole nasty slew of panic responses.

The lobby opens up into the mall, and Will comes to a halt. Starcourt is hollow. Storefronts devoid of products, of people. A few lights waver to life here and there as he passes, faint and blue-tinted, their meager glow smothered under softly rustling tendrils. He’s acclimating to the silence, the quiet pressing in against his eardrums like a high air pressure, and now his ears are picking up on the barely-detectable whispers and chitters of the Upside Down. The sound of vines growing, moving, shifting. The sound of creatures skittering into the shadows, somewhere unseen.

Like Dart, something in the back of his mind whispers. 

The back of his throat opens, a call for Mike rising instinctually, but he bites down on it before it reaches his lips. He shakes his head, hard. Like he’s trying to wake himself up after nearly nodding off in class. He’s not a little kid anymore. It’s not real. It can’t be real. The Gate is closed. Nothing has happened since November. It’s just in his head. He can snap himself out of it.

And here’s that tilt towards the denial end of the spectrum.

His eyes squeeze shut. He clenches his fists at his sides, splays out his fingers until the tendons ache, breathes five long breaths. His throat scratches with the cold, acrid air, but he forces himself to breathe smoothly. The chittering grows louder, darting past him, coming close enough that he can feel something brush past his shoelace. But it’s not real. He won’t cringe away. He won’t let these memories control him. He won’t. 

When he opens his eyes, he’s still there.

His skin crawls. His eyes trace up, over the shadowy silhouettes of the food court, over the vine-choked space above, past the neon STARCOURT sign that gutters and flares in sporadic bursts. And beyond the great glass skylight, there’s a shape. Dark - dark as the void of space, like a hole cut out of the universe. Looking at him. Watching him. The numb-cold swoop drains through him again, stronger this time as the Mind Flayer’s featureless head lowers towards the skylight.

A broken whimper twists in Will’s chest. Fear takes over. His mind goes blank, body reacting on animal instinct as his feet shove him back, away -

Aaaand we’ve tilted back in the direction of panic and terror. Whoo.

No -

No, please -

Hey do y’all remember how when they started burning the tunnels in S2, if you listened closely, Will said something garbled that sounded like “No, please -!”?

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Lights flare at random, strobing, flickering across the length of the mall, static popping in Will’s clothes, and oh god he sees him, he knows Will is here, he’s looking at him -

Will can feel him beckoning. Calling to him. He’s getting closer, pressing down towards the glass, and Will can hear the whooshing, rumbling roar, muffled through the roof, and he’s still backing up, back into the theater lobby, lungs pistoning behind his ribs - Go away! Go away! Go - dread and powerlessness and panic cutting through him in sharp, icy waves, and not again, please not again, it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real, please please -

An abrupt grip on his upper arm makes him sputter, his scream getting tangled up in his mouth before it can come out, and Mike’s dark eyes go even wider with worry.

Mike.

Here I was going for the effect that they do in the show when Will suddenly snaps out of his episode and is back in the real world - yanno, where it’s all blue and gray and cold looking, in the Upside Down, and then all at once bam in the next shot the color scheme shifts and there’s Mike and he’s back in the real world?

Mike’s oh-so-familiar features, lit by the warm gold-and-pink glow of the lobby displays. The smell of buttered popcorn. A curious glance or two from the people milling around, who doubtless just witnessed Will’s erratic flight. 

Relief swells so abruptly in Will’s chest that it bubbles up over his lips as a watery laugh. 

Not real.

His head whips up, scanning the skylights that are just visible beyond the overhang of the second level. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. He’s not there. Will’s heart is wobbling hard between his lungs, adrenaline pounding at his temples and fingertips, and his -

His shoes. They’re wet. The soles slimy with the residue of… of…

Soda. He must have stepped in some soda. Yes - yes, there. There’s a banana-yellow caution, wet floor! sign propped up a few yards away. He just stepped in something as he crossed the lobby, that’s all. He breathes hard, consciously slowing the push-pull of his diaphragm, clearing out the phantom chill from his lungs.

He registers all at once that Mike has been saying his name. Will focuses in on the face of his best friend - the tapered cheeks, nearly devoid of the baby fat that used to round them out. The smattering of freckles over his sunburnt nose. The dark half-curling waves falling over his forehead, one strand just barely brushing the eyelashes of his left eye. He’s staring down into Will’s face with an expression of alarm, and when their eyes meet, he repeats, “Are you okay?”

Hmm. Watcha lookin’ at, Will?

Deja vu is making Mike’s head spin. It’s a sick, sinking feeling, like realizing all at once that you’ve forgotten something important. Like thinking that there’s one more stair than there is, and stepping into empty space with a disorienting jolt. Because Mike has seen Will like this before.

Will is gasping for breath, his body trembling under Mike’s palm, his eyes wild. The skin of his arm is chilled from the air conditioning, peppered with goosebumps.

Itty bitty detail, but: Mike assumes that Will’s skin is cold from air conditioning, and not… you know… the Upside Down perhaps?

“Will? Are you okay?”

But Will doesn’t seem to hear him. His chin is tilted up, eyes flickering over the ceiling like he expects to find something there.

“Will?”

His breath begins to even out. His head turns, scanning the lobby of the movie theater. 

“Will?”

Finally, Mike’s voice seems to filter through whatever haze is surrounding him, and hazel eyes meet Mike’s.

“Are you okay?”

Something strange happens then. As he looks over Mike’s face, Will’s eyes lower for a moment, like he’s glancing at Mike’s mouth. And for a fraction of a second, it sets off an automatic response in the back of Mike’s brain. He shuts down the impulse as soon as it rears its head, but it was there: for a split second, Mike was about to tilt forward and… Well, no, not really. Of course he didn’t really think about kissing Will. It’s just that he’s been with El all day, so he’s still in boyfriend mode. It was automatic. 

Still, the impulse startles him enough that he drops his hand from Will’s arm as Will opens his mouth to answer.

And here we have some Repressed Internalized Homophobia! Because of course Mike only thought about kissing Will because he’s been with El all day, and of course he only dropped his hand because it surprised him, and not because he’s subconsciously shying away from anything too “gay.”

“Yeah,” Will mumbles. “I’m… yeah. Fine.”

Mike can’t help it. He pushes. “Are you sure?”

He’s expecting Will to be mad at him. To roll his eyes or snap a retort or turn away, because he hates when people fuss over him, and Mike knows he hates it. But instead, Will just looks back out at the mall for a moment. He’s rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. This must have been a bad one.

“‘f course,” Will mutters eventually. He scuffs one foot along the carpet, like he’s trying to wipe something off his shoe.

It was the blackout that must have done it. Will’s panic attacks sometimes come on with no obvious rhyme or reason, but when there is a trigger - say, for example, abrupt, total darkness - they can be twice as bad. He seems better now, though. Calmer. More grounded. Mike decides against throwing an arm around Will’s shoulders, in case he gets shoved off with an annoyed bark of, I’m fine, but he risks an elbow bump.

Again: this is the first “episode,” so I needed to establish a few background details about what’s been going on in Hawkins and in the Party, in the six months since we saw them in S2. And basically what we’re learning here is that Will has been less and less cool with people fussing over him and being worried about him. We saw that starting to happen in S2, and it must have gotten so much worse after that. Remember his speech to Jonathan? How everyone treats him like he’s gonna break, like he can’t handle things on his own? And then the Mind Flayer happened. Every time Will coughed or disappeared to the bathroom for three minutes, people would have been going nuts. And it probably drives Will up the wall. To the point where he’d start to snap at them. To the point where Mike goes to do The Arm Thing, but decides against it at the last second and aborts the movement and only kind of awkwardly bumps Will’s elbow with his, because he wants to comfort Will but doesn’t wanna get snapped at, and he knows Will hates that stuff. So there’s a little bit of a wedge between them, right now (well, another wedge, since there’s already the stuff going on with Mike ignoring the Party a bit for El).

“C’mon,” he coaxes, “They’re about to get the movie running again.”

Will turns at Mike’s nudge without complaint, and they fall into step side-by-side as they make their way back to their seats. The Party greets them with anxious stares and whispers of, “Is he okay?” and “What happened?” Will waves off their concern, putting on a mask of nonchalance, and tosses off a line about fresh air.

One of my favorite HCs (and honestly it’s basically just canon) is how Mike and Will just automatically fall into step with each other as they walk, since they’ve been attached at the hip since they were five years old. They’re so used to navigating the world at each other’s side, quite literally, that it’s a deeply ingrained habit to just sync up their steps, despite the difference of leg lengths haha. 

Also: the Party being concerned makes Will’s walls come up, and he “puts on a mask of nonchalance and tosses off a line about fresh air,” so we can see that he’s plenty used to pretending that everything is fine in order to wave off people’s concerns. 

Before they can question him further, the film reel sputters, and the movie kicks into gear again.

“A bolt of lightning!” Doc Brown exclaims. The audience cheers as the film resumes. Will sticks a twizzler in his mouth and Mike makes himself look at the screen. “Unfortunately, you never know when or where it’s ever gonna strike!” 

Marty slaps the Save the Clock Tower! flyer and thrusts it at the mad scientist, suave and handsome in his denim jacket with its popped-up collar.

“We do now.” 

Mike thinks Marty is handsome too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, can I just point out that Mike was watching Will eat a twizzler and made himself look away. Liiiitle tiny hints of Mike subconsciously repressing his attraction to Will there. ‘Cause… uh, Mike? Why are you staring at Will’s mouth?

-_-_-_-

Aaaaaand there we have it! You probably didn’t mean that whole thing, but… Sorry not sorry lol. I’ve been accused of not knowing how to make a short post, and those accusations are 100% accurate.

[blue-mint-winter]

BSG 4x19 Daybreak rewatch

I cried. This is the end of this epic journey, this is a goodbye to those amazing characters.

It’s really hard to talk about it in a calm and analyzing fashion, but I believe that the resolutions we got were fitting and satisfying.

What really struck me is that in the finale finally we reach a real unity between Cylons and humans. They now fight side by side as comrades and it’s not just the skinjobs, but Centurions too. Even Adama crosses the line he thought he’d never cross - he allows for Sam to be hooked up to systems in CIC, becoming a Hybrid for Galactica.

This episode does this really neat trick of showing us the life of certain characters before the fall. We see how certain events and decisions they made, seemingly random and insignificant, led their fate to Galactica and now.

The whole mission to save Hera - I like how it’s shown as this crazy, for volunteers only, last stand of Galactica, the last battle. But this irrational mission is the key, the visions and prophecies came to fruition there and Kara finally fulfilled her purpose and found the way to Earth.

I love the moment in which Kara puts in the coordinates she got from her father’s song and they jump. Incredible scene.

Hoshi becomes Admiral of the remaining Fleet. So he followed in his boyfriend’s footsteps in a way.

Hera is rescued thanks to Boomer. Boomer’s fate is just really bittersweet. We get a flashback of her when Adama gave her the second chance instead of throwing her out for doing a bad job as a pilot and how she said she owed him one. Returning Hera is Boomer paying that debt. She can become that person she once was, before all the betrayals - one of Adama’s kids. Boomer’s final choice is to side with humanity, with Galactica. But she still pays for all her sins with death by Athena’s hand.

I don’t really know how to feel about Athena killing Boomer. On one hand who else would be more suitable to do it, on the other hand maybe suicide would have been a better option? As a callback to S1 when Boomer was unable to kill herself because of her programming, if she overcame that now... However, Athena killing Boomer is the closest it can get to a suicide. They share those memories from before the attack on the Colonies. Athena is who Boomer could have been.

Gaius deciding to stay on Galactica in the last minute makes sense. I wonder why Head Six told him to go, to use his new political power and influence thanks to his followers in the Fleet. Maybe reverse psychology? Maybe she was testing him. Because he had to stay for everything to unfold in the right way.

I love Gaius and Caprica reconciling. It’s not hard to see that he chose to stay because she was staying. And for once Gaius didn’t listen to his self-preservation instincts, because something was much stronger - his love for Caprica Six.

Gaius’ flashbacks to how he met Caprica Six were wonderful. She became a witness to an argument between Gaius and his father who stabbed a nurse and I love just how it must have affected her. She thinks of Cylons as humanity’s children and then she saw this example of a father and son being so completely at odds, unable to understand each other, fighting.

Caprica Six finding a nice retirement house for Gaius’ father where he could be happy may have been part of her scheme to get access to defense mainframe, but I believe it was more than that. I think she would’ve been able to seduce it out of Gaius without that. Caprica through this good deed won Gaius’ heart, she saw and reached the man under the arrogant scientist. And how funny it was him who first used the “L” word. Gaius Baltar talking about love, than quickly backpedaling to cover up that he was actually open about his feelings for once.

Gaius’ role in the finale is what he does best - talking. This time his words reach CAVIL, so that he gives them Hera.

Turns out that Roslin’s opera house vision had one purpose only - so she’d hide Hera from Centurions in that one critical moment on Galactica. If she never had that vision, she’d never go out of sickbay to look for Hera and the child would’ve never gotten to Gaius and Six and CIC and there would be no ceasefire between Cavil faction and human-Cylon alliance.

Final Five scene. Oh wow. So Tigh offers Cavil resurrection tech for Hera and all Five have to combine their knowledge, but it also lets them know everything else about each other. And that’s when the hour of reckoning comes to Tory.

I have to say that on one hand I love that Tyrol had that Cally flashback, how she was on his side from the start. He loved her, maybe not like Boomer, but they built a life together, a marriage, she stayed by his side through some very tough times. Their relationship meant a lot to him, otherwise he’d never have grieved like he did. And Tyrol attacking Tory when he saw her memories of Cally’s murder is significant of that. All in all, after this season did Cally so dirty, I like that the last thing we see of her is a positive memory Tyrol had of her. And her death is avenged.

Ironic that Tory’s downfall was exactly as foreshadowed. She kept this big terrible secret and when it came out, it destroyed her. Gaius did warn her about it once. The secret of her affair with him destroyed Tory’s friendship with Roslin and her last real tie to humanity. But she didn’t learn anything from it, she never came clean about murdering Cally and so she paid the price.

This situation is also interesting when we look at Tyrol’s perspective. After Boomer’s last betrayal he lost all trust in Eights. “They’re just machines,” he says to Helo. Tyrol was once able to forgive Cally for shooting Boomer, he even married her, the killer of his first love. But what Cally did was out of love for him. She was fiercely devoted to him. Tyrol couldn’t forgive Tory for killing Cally, but what Tory did was pure calculated murder. She did it for her own selfish reasons. And even with Cally out of the way, Tyrol was not interested in a relationship with Tory which is something she must have hoped for. In the end he kills Tory in rage and then he swears off all women and lives alone in highlands on some northern island, away from people.

What all of this says about Tyrol is that in my theory he never had a real, deep love with Tory and he compensated by creating Number Eight. Boomer was his perfect woman. Pygmalion and Galatea, anyone?

I can’t help but feel that Tory was so alone. As a human all she had was her job and Roslin. She and Gaius just used each other, it wasn’t meaningful. She easily let him go. It seems in the end she fled from her humanity into giving her all to be a Cylon, but even then she continued being alone. She didn’t really become close with her fellow Final Five and she had no other friends, human or Cylon. I liked that in finale Ellen had a few moments with Tory, giving her some friendship, but it was too little, too late. Tory lived and died alone.

Because of Tory’s death the secret of resurrection is lost. Chaos erupts on the bridge but Cavil’s side is going to lose, so he kills himself.

We finally learn what happened to the mutineers like Racetrack and Skulls - they were imprisoned, but now they got drafted for this suicide mission to attack the Colony and rescue Hera. These two get shot down early in the mission, but when they drift dead in space, in just the right moment Racetrack’s hand falls down and hits the missile button and the Colony is blown up. This is the true end to Cavil’s faction.

I love how the show isn’t afraid of showing this higher power influencing people and events according to its plan. The moment when Caprica Six and Gaius see Head Six and Head Gaius is still one of my favourites. The whole vision coming true and Kara putting in the coordinates she took from the song and Racetrack’s missiles shooting at just the right time all aren’t an accident.

So they found Earth, our Earth, and they decide to settle all over the planet and start over with a clean slate.

Kara’s goodbye with Sam was just so touching. The dogtags, I love you, “See you on the other side.” Sam took the Fleet into the sun. And when Kara disappeared we know she joined him.

I love how Sam’s flashback about his search for perfection ties with his ending. By becoming a Hybrid he gained access to that higher plane of mathematics and launching the Fleet into the sun was him achieving that “perfect throw” he was looking for. Through the flashback we saw the deeper side of Sam than the jock. It makes so much sense why he’s one of the Final Five.

Everyone’s settling on Earth, Agathons are back to being a happy family. Ellen finally gets to be with Tigh full-time. Adama and Roslin go off to find a place for their cabin by the lake.

I got so emotional when Gaius said “You know, I know about farming.” This is a beautiful ending to his arc. Not only the skeptic became a true believer, also the man who once despised his upbringing, who wanted to be something more and better than a farmer, now goes back to his roots and it’s important and useful skill to have. He’s no longer ashamed of coming from Aerilon.

Adama and Roslin slayed me. I cried when she died and he put the wedding ring on her finger like in her visions from The Hub. I cried again when he sat by her grave and said that the sunrise reminds him of her. Wow. That love.

Roslin’s flashbacks give us one important insight into her - she literally had no life before Galactica. She lost all her family and her life became empty. She tried to fill it - a date with Sean didn’t work, so she threw herself into politics and Adar’s campaign. Galactica and Adama became her real home. As bittersweet is that they couldn’t have a fairytale perfect ending, I appreciate that Roslin died loving him and being loved in return. She brought them all to Earth as the Dying Leader. It was her time to rest.

Speaking of Earth, it looks like D’Anna really stayed on the nuked old Earth because she never showed up after that episode :(((

Lee and Kara. Their love is really tragic because they could never really be together. The flashback of their first meeting when she was Zak’s girlfriend and they almost cheated puts into focus that they were doomed from the start. All they had were those stolen moments, but something always got in the way, sometimes because of their own doing. In my eyes, Lee and Kara had a complicated love, because they were so many different things to each other all at once. I guess in a way Zak’s ghost always stood between them.

So in the end Kara’s like that pigeon, she annoyed Lee to no end so he smashed a few things chasing her and then she flew away when she wanted to and left him alone.

Okay, so maybe to some people tying up BSG to current times, Hera as the mitochondrial Eve, is controversial, but I think it’s pretty brilliant. Showing how people make robots again in real life now is not really as much about robots as about every other issue BSG told us about. Because we have it all here, right now, happening - torture, terrorism, war, slave labour, corruption, everything. By tying the story to our reality the viewers can’t just close it like a book, “it’s just a scifi, it’s fictional, none of it is real, let’s forget every lesson this show imparted because it has nothing to do with reality.” Wrong! Yes, it’s not real, but it talks about things that happen in real life. It shows us that when we only see the same-faced enemy, we forget that they are only human just like us. To avoid the mutual annihilation, we should strive to better understand each other, to find common ground.

So that’s it. This is the end of line. Farewell, BSG, one of the best frakking shows ever made.

[realultimatepower]

Chicken Roaster Tutorial

@michaeltheshitposter @mojang-official

Decided to make this separate from the other post so I don’t fill up the comments too much.

I had written up this really funny version of the thing full of character, but then my computer decided to restart in the middle of it, so I lost about an hour’s work. Here’s a picture from the prelude that I want to keep because it’s cute.

He has Health Boost 255. Actual tutorial below break.

First off, this is for 1.13.2. Second, I got most of the idea from this video by Avomance. He gave me the idea on how to do the actual heart beat when he demonstrated how to make a simple Redstone Clock at the 11 min mark.

While my version is based on his, watching the video by itself isn’t really a substitute for what I made, but I feel it is a needed supplement since I’m doing this using pictures only.

Here is the inventory you will need to build the thing.

The 18 Bedrock is meant to represent any Fire-Resistant Building Material.

This build is divided into three parts, because you can technically space them out as far as redstone allows. I found out while going back over everything that there’s an extra space between Sections A & C.

Section A: The Main Housing

You will need a space that is 3x3 blocks horizontally and 5 blocks vertically, preferably with the western and northern edges against a wall of equal or greater height, that is if you care about hiding the wiring.

Begin by placing your chest on the middle South block and your first hopper in the central block, feeding into the chest. This view is taken from the East.

Then, surround the hopper on its other three sides with building blocks, and place your half slab (made of a Fire-Resistant Material) directly on top of the hopper. Objects will still be able to pass through it when dropped, such as cooked chicken.

For the next layer up, place your first dispenser facing the center slab, with your second hopper feeding into the back of it. It is from this second hopper that the system will be fed eggs. Also, place a glass block on top of the chest. This serves the dual purpose of letting you see the machine work, as well as give you access to the chest that will contain your harvest.

Place another dispenser one layer up opposite the first one. This is the one that will dispense the lava to ignite the chicken once it has fully grown. Place another glass block on top of the previous one, so you can see the lava when it is dispensed.

**If this is your first redstone contraption, you are substituting the glass with a building block and a staircase made from said building block (so you can still open the chest), or are building this near other more sensitive builds, I advise using a bucket of water to test out the timing rather than a bucket of lava. If you do this, be sure to replace the lava at the end, or all you’ll do is build a Chicken Bath.**

Finally, you should cover the top with something, so the lava doesn’t burn anything near by if sparks should fly. It’s up to you if you want to cover the whole top, this is a purely utilitarian tutorial.

Section B: The Heart, Osborn.

In the Avomance video I linked, he regulates the lava to dispense whenever an egg is laid, which was an issue to me in two parts: 1. I don’t want to put a chicken inside the machine, and 2. I want to control the lava flow, or at least have it be less random. I couldn’t just set up a normal clock, though, because it would only turn off every other pulse, which would burn the food along with the chicken. So, I needed to set off 2 pulses in quick succession; Like a heartbeat.

Now, the way I built the Heart was to minimize on the amount of space I needed to mine out, so I built it on the same layer as the lava dispenser, 2 blocks vertically. However, the redstone signal it puts out can travel about 10 blocks, so if you want to put it underground, you can do that as long as you space it out right. For the purpose of Modular Design, I will show you how to build it by itself.

This is the shape the Heart will take: The 2 sections in Black and White are 4x10 and 3x5. You can see what the other measurements are from there.

Place 7 blocks in the depicted locations, these don’t need to be the same as the Fire-Resistant Building Materials, but I decided to make them the same so you don’t need to worry about getting dirt or stone specifically. So long as they aren’t any sort of solid block activated by redstone, it’s fine.

On all the blocks in the right column, except the bottom, place a redstone torch facing South. On the bottom right block, place it facing West. On the left column, place them facing North. It is imperative you place them on the block itself, and not the ground.

Fill in the gaps between the torches and the next blocks with your Redstone Repeaters, with the little Triangle on them pointing towards the block/away from the torch. Make sure every one of them is set to Maximum Delay, this is imperative to get the proper timing on the Lava. If you’ve done it right, every other set should be on.

Place three more Repeaters and one redstone dust as depicted here in the Northwest corner. This will complete the clock’s circuit, and cause all the torches to cycle between on and off, very slowly. Then, place another repeater one block East of the first block in the circuit, facing East. This will be on the little border area between the 4x10 section, which we’ve just finished, and the 3x5 section. Make sure you set all Repeaters to maximum delay.

Now comes the part of the Heart that causes the Beating effect. Place the Lamp in the 3x5 section so the Repeater in the border area feeds into it. Then, take your two Observers and place them so both the little face is pressed up against the Lamp like a kid who will need corrective lenses when he grows up. If you remove the Lamp, they will be in a staring contest with an empty block between them. You can’t see the faces here, but they’re the ones with triangles pointing North and South away from the lamp. Place the redstone dust and Repeater as pictured, once again putting it to maximum delay.

To get into how this works, the Observers will both see the Lamp change states at the same time, but because one has a Repeater on their tail, it will cause the Signal they make to be delayed, and activate whatever you put at the end a couple ticks after the unhindered signal goes through.

The border block on the right hand side of the photo leads into the Lava Dispenser from Section A.

Section C: The Kill Switch

Upstairs on my actual farm, I built this thing to launch chicken eggs out so I didn’t need to throw them all by hand.

The way it works, as I understand it now, is that this is a Quantum Redstone Clock. It is prone to fizzling out if left alone, so a switch is attached to the back that lets it be turned on and off, like a Tennis Ball Server. We don’t have the room to build this into the Main Housing without either completely redesigning it, or disturbing the delicate wiring present on the rest of it. So, we’ll build a simpler circuit that still has a kill switch.

This is the footprint for the final section, a 4x4 with 3 extra spaces. Once again, I’m showing how to build these by themselves, but the 1x2 area at the bottom is meant to wire into the North Side of the Bottom Dispenser, so I built this one block Up from ground level in my version. I also built mine with an extra space of redstone dust between the 1x2 and the dispenser, but that was an accident.

Anyway, here’s where to put the blocks, and the torches too, since we already did a more complex version of this with the Heart.

However, instead of using Repeaters, we’re gonna use dust, because we want this thing to be rapid-fire. Except for the Repeater we need to place to draw the energy from the circuit. If we just put dust there, it wouldn’t work. Do NOT Delay this Repeater!

The last step is to place a Lever here on the East side of the first block in the circuit. This is the Kill Switch itself. When you pull it, it will activate the first torch in the circuit to stay on, which will stop the rest of the circuit.

The Finished Product

This is the reference model I used when I was building it in my Survival world. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make a copy of the map, so if you need any help troubleshooting, just Message me (No ask box or submission box on here, for my own reasons).

[prismarine-parrots]

The Pranker Gets Pranked

April Fool’s!

Grian logged into the Hermitcraft server from his personal home world. He had taken a break from the server, just for a day or so, to enjoy some time off from the intense working and to brainstorm some plans for what he was going to do next after Sahara.

"Hello, my name is Grian and— whaaaaat the heck."

Now, he was FULLY aware of the date. April first: April Fool's.

He still was not expecting the entire Hermitcraft server to be missing?

He was on the spawn island, which was a problem, as Grian knew he did NOT log off here.

"Okay, so I know today is April Fool's, but... what happened here? I was planning on coming on and pranking the OTHERS, not being pranked myself! This isn't fair!"

Grian's "Did You Die?" Box stand made of light grey concrete powder was missing. The only thing there was a single block of the powder, and in the sky there was a single block of red stained glass where the random farm that was here was. The Nether Portal was still intact, but that was about it.

Grian glanced around and scratched his head in confusion.

"So I have no idea what's going on. I might as well go through the Nether Hub and see what else is weird..."

The builder hopped into the portal and watched as the magic purple film covered his vision, and the sounds of him warping to the hellish dimension and the swirls fading. He stepped out of the portal and was immediately surprised by a rather horrifying sight.

"What happened to the Nether hub?!"

Where there was once a wonderful, one-to-eight scale of their Season 6 world, there was now a grid of a sea- or jack-o-lantern, a block or a blue carpet, and a piece of grey stained glass. The blocks in-between were open and below them was the flat netherrack the hermits has spent the first six months of the season clearing out in their free time- and those blocks were spawnable. So in between the grids there were zombie pigmen galore, some wither skeletons, and the occasional blaze. The only things that seemed left alone were the Nether portals.

"All our hard work! The months that we spent working on this- well, others did, I just mined a couple hundred pieces of netherrack, but still!" Grian complained to his metaphorical viewers that would be watching his video later.

He turned to his portal and his shoulders sagged when he saw that the scale model of his base had been decided to birch fenceposts.

"Oh no, what happened to my base? This is not good... well forget what I was planning today, if the rest of the server if like this then I'm going around and seeing what disaster has come to the server," Grian chuckled, knowing fully well that Xisuma and likely a couple of others had set this up.

He stepped into his portal and waited the five seconds, before coming out in the overworld and stepping out of the purple-black frame.

And immediately falling into ocean.

Grian swam back up to the surface, coughing and sputtering.

"Oh come on!" He complained, treading water (which he had gotten very good at this season with the amount of ocean usage that they had been doing) and looking up at his base from the ocean. His vision was blurred from water on his glasses, which he quickly took off and cleaned to get the salt water off his lenses, although it really was useless when his sweater was soaked. He put them back on so that his footage matched his eyesight, and he gasped.

"My base!"

His base was basically nonexistent. The floor was missing, the walls in a random pattern, not even having the awkward grid of the Nether hub. There were two-by-two pillars of white concrete where his mob-spawning towers once were, and the smaller towers outside Grian's main base were single-block nerd poles of white concrete.

"This is insane..." Grian laughed to himself in sickening awe. "Everything is gone! My mess of chests, the mustache machine- oh, no, I see some stained glass still, oh nooooo..."

Grian swam away from his base to where he knew the massive ring around his base was supposed to be. He instead found a single-block wide circle in the surface water. Grian frowned and shook his head, before looking up at the complete mess that was now his wedding-cake tower to build height.

"This is SUCH a mess, guys... I can't believe this. How long did it take for the guys to do this? Did they use WorldEdit? TNT? To be honest, this look like mass amount of TNT usage. If they destroyed my base with TNT, I'm okay with that to be honest. It's my favorite block! Don't worry guys, I have the world save from before this mess, I'll just play Hermitcraft on single player now!"

He withheld evil giggles, knowing that there was of course people who did not realize the date and thought that this entire thing was literal. Grian was set up by the other hermits to pull some real pranks on his viewers, and he was still totally going to find ways to prank hermits before the day was done. But he had to keep in character- bursting into laughter at his dastardly schemes was going to give those schemes away!

"I need to go see other's bases! Xisuma's! False's! Mumbo's!" He gasped dramatically, "what happened to the Mumball?!"

The builder leapt off the ring and took off toward's his fellow Architech's base. the Architech station was mostly untouched, with the station rails still there but the bridges extending to and from on both sides of the platform were nonexistent, making it looks like some sort of strange ocean rig. It took not even five seconds further for the destruction of Grian's neighbor to come into view.

"Oh noooooo," Grian laughed sadly, "His storage system!"

The frame of the (SLIGHTLY squished) spherical base was completely intact. The glass all seemed to be smashed, including the glass that held the water for Mumbo's storage system IN the system. Water flooded the pathways between the chests and down onto the city of farms below.

"This is tragic..." the builder groaned as he flew over the sphere, not wanting to land in any water. Bumbo Balloni, the all-seeing entity levitating at the top of Mumbo's power beam, was missing half his faces and the snow golems inside were wandering the four micro biomes behind the rows of chests.

"Mumbo? Mumbo are you here? Mumbo Jumbo! Mumboooooooooooo! Do I need to start singing the AFK song? Mumbo Jumbo you are not-where-you-needtobeeee... Okay that was even worse than me singing when I was sick. Don't remix that. Oh no, now I'm going to get a sugarcane song too, no! I should really stop talking now..."

Grian spotted something in one of the buildings underneath the main build. He gasped in delight and dived down to it- Mumbo's garden where his bed was.

"Mumbo! Come look at what happened to your base! It's insane!" Grian exclaimed, hoping that by not mentioning April Fool's he might be able to get the spoon. However, he came to a sudden stop when he saw what he thought had been Mumbo Jumbo.

An armor stand, dressed in dark grey dyed leather armor, with a Mumbo head on top, having been edited by the magic book to have arms and look like like a player standing still.

Grian stared at the stand.

Then he gave a fake sob and fell over the armor stand. "Mumbo, no! You've been turned into an armor stand! The horror! Am I the only hermit not an armor stand because I went home for a day? What a cruel turn of events! Wow, I sound like Joe," he laughed to himself, before shaking his head.

"Alright, this has been very funny, but I don't know what to do now. Keep touring the server? I'm the only one online, it's going to get boring without anyone else to... interact with, and figure out what happened to the server..." Grian almost said "prank" which would have given away the veil of obliviousness that it was April Fool's.

His phone buzzed in his black skinny jeans pocket. Fishing it out, there was a server notification and a text.

xisumavoid joined the game.

<xisumavoid> what happened to my base?!

<xisumavoid> Grian! What did you do?!

<xisumavoid> there's guardians everywhere!

xisumavoid was slain by Guardian using magic.

<xisumavoid> meet me at shopping district. Right now.

"I'm going to be in so much trouble for something I didn't even do," Grian groaned, "I'll tell him when I meet him. This wasn't me OR the man in the chicken costume!"

Grian announced this to his camera and took off the small island that was dwarfed by the size of the build placed on it.

"This is a mess as well! Oh no! The stock exchange, iTrade, Tek to the Skies- my pickle shop!"

There was different types of disaster at each location. The Nether hub was a grid, Grian's base was spaghetti, Mumbo's base was waterlogged, and now it seemed that the entire shopping district had WorldEdit cutouts of the shops so that there was only half the build standing, whether vertically or horizontally.

"I have no words..." Grian murmured to himself. Not only that, but he was also running out of things to say without sounding repetitive of his and Mumbo's bases' reactions.

He landed in the plaza with the Nether portal outside iTrade and looked around.

"Xisuma? Look, I know you're mad, but I'm just as confused! I thought this was you getting at me?" He called aloud.

No reply.

Grian frowned. "Xisuma?"

The Nether portal warbled and spat out fuming turtle man.

"Grian, I don't know WHAT you did-"

"It wasn't me!"

"I swear if you said it was the man in the chicken costume-"

"It wasn't? My base has been reduced to nerd poles! Why would I do that to myself?" Grian asked. Xisuma stopped pointing angrily at the builder and a confused look entered his eyes behind the purple visor.

"Who did then?" X demanded. Grian shrugged.

"How should I know? I haven't been on in two days!"

"Oh my days..." X put his hand on his helmet and look to the sky. "I don't understand..."

They stood in silence for a while, unsure of what to do or say in this mess.

"Are you sure YOU'RE not trying to get at me?"

"Ugh, you fools are so dense... if neither of you did it, who do you think did?"

Grian and Xisuma both jumped at the voice that sounded slightly like the one in green, but not at the same time. They spun around to see...

"HELLO GRIAN"

The other said something that shouldn't be repeated in a PG-oneshot.

Grian's blood ran cold at seeing himself with black soulless eyes.

"NPC?! I just saw you at home!"

"And I thought I banned you, Evil Xisuma! Get off my server!" X ordered.

"And what gives you the right to order me around?"

"LET US BUILD A RUSTIC HOUSE"

"NOPE!" Grian immediately protested and turned to walk away, but when he turned around the alternate version of himself was behind him, red eyes glowing.

"On second thought I'll stay!" The builder squeaked. X raised an eyebrow at Grian but said nothing.

"You see this glorious chaos we caused?" Evil Xisuma announced, waving his arm to the demolished shopping district, "you think this is your server still? No! I am the admin of Hermitcraft now!"

"AND I AM THE BUILDER NOW GRIAN" NPC Grian likely would have had the same victorious, malicious grin that Evil X did if he were able to.

Grian and X glanced to each other, likely having the same question about this alter of the other.

You never said anything about a doppelganger?

The admin in red chuckled and held up a hand.

"Well boys, it's been a good run. But the Hermitcraft server is mine now," Evil X grinned. "Say goodbye to your precious world."

"GOODBYE"

Grian started to meekly protest, hoping to find a way to reason with his AI counterpart and this other version of Xisuma. But EX snapped his fingers and NPC Grian blinked, his red eyes flashing for just a moment, and then everything disappeared.

Grian shook his head, feeling lightheaded, and glanced around to find himself in the vaguely familiar cityscape of the HUB for all players.

Xisuma groaned, evidently suffering the same effects of being forced out of a server as well.

"Oh my days, what happened?"

"I got no clue man. But either this April Fool's prank has gone very wrong or we just lost," Grian sighed. "Calling it now, things will be back to normal by morning..."

X grunted in irritation. "I know I was in on PART of this, but not everything! I think we might have just lost Hermitcraft! And if I'm not admin anymore, then I can't rollback the server or kick Evil X and whoever your dude was and... and..."

Grian decided to not inform the not-Doom guy that he was one hundred percent that most of this was a prank. He simply pushed up his recording glasses on his nose, making sure they were still recording X's panic, smirking to himself that this was going to make a great video by the end of the day.

There's a few perks to being known as a prankster. I can't let this oppertunity be passed up now, can I?

--

Evil X withheld his laughter until both his partners had used the /kick command to kick Grian and his counterpart from the server. They both disappeared before his eyes, and he immediately burst out in hysterics, holding his knees and being unable to see from tears.

"That was priceless!"

"I AGREE THAT WAS VERY FUNNY" NPC Grian agreed in his robotic tone. "I THINK IT IS TIME TO RETURN TO MY CLOSET NOW"

"Awww, not gonna stay to mess with Grian more?" DocM asked the AI, sounding slightly disappointed.

"IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GO HOME"

"You sure you're going to be safe if you go back home?" Python asked, "Won't Grian do something?"

"I WILL LIKELY GET YELLED AT AND THEN HE WOULD LAUGH HE LIKES PRANKS AND WAS TALKING OF APRIL FOOL'S EARLIER"

"Aw, so we didn't get him. Damn," EX grumbled.

"I don't know man, he seemed pretty startled to see NPG over there," Doc chuckled and nodded to the AI. "It's good to finally get back at him for the stunts he's pulled on me."

EX felt grim satisfaction knowing that there was someone else out there who got enjoyment out of seeing people suffer in retribution for something they did to them. The scientist-creeper-cyborg-thing gave off the sort of sinister and intelligent vibes that EX could appreciate. The red creeper hybrid had a more mischievous vibe than sinister, but had been more welcoming to EX and NPC Grian for their short time on the server than some of the other hermits that had taken notice of them for the prank in the hours they had been waiting for Grian, and partially by chance Xisuma, to come online.

"I guess I'll be going as soon as Mr. X realizes he's still admin and will re-ban me and revoke your powers I hacked you," Evil X assumed, slightly sad but also knowing he totally deserved it for pulling this thing again.

"See you around then, I guess," Doc said rather duly and then headed for the Nether portal.

Python waved and NPC Grian, unable to really give a farewell, simply disappeared.

EX sighed, shaking his head, and took out the devices he stole from normal Xisuma and logged off the server before he could be so rudely kicked like he had many times before.

--

"NPC! HOW DARE YOU!"

"HELLO GRIAN WANT TO BUILD A RUSTIC HOUSE"

"NO! I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU MANAGED TO PULL THAT OFF?!"

"IT WAS NOT MY IDEA ASK EVIL XISUMA"

"I hate that I know you're lying but I can't get it out of you..."

"I KNOW GRIAN"

———————-

Word count: 2738

Latin version didn’t let me keep that last part with NPG and Grian ;^;

Happy (well, now it's belated, but it wasn't yesterday) April Fool's!

[jordm]

Heartland 12x05 - Change of Heart review

So back by popular demand (LOL JK), here it is! A Change of Heart - slightly delayed partly due to me forgetting it’s on and generally not having time to sit down and watch.

Anyways, happy to see Clint here again, even if we don’t find out anything about him that’s new besides hes a foster care worker and places troubled youth in homes - like Ty and he’s only there to drop Luke off. Not the point though ;)

I’m also seriously wondering if Clint has any other successful foster placements or if Ty is legit his only one?

Luke

When Clint asks, “Hey, your mom leave for work already?” and Luke says, “Yes” then looks back, I can’t help but think that either a) his mom actually isn’t there and he’s been on his own for awhile and/or b) he’s definitely hiding something. I’m not sure what or if we’ll find out this episode.

Anyways, his mom picked up “extra shifts” (which seems a little.. off but maybe it’s just me - does he not have neighbours to watch him?). He also seems extra defensive when Ty asks Luke what he does when his mom’s at work. 

Anyways, it looks like his mom actually does work (??), or at the very least is alive, so maybe Luke just loves his mom and is overly protective and i’m talking in circles - but no he’s definitely hiding something. Did you see Luke’s face when he heard Georgie say, “I just wish Betty could still take care of him and he didn’t have to go to the boarding facility.”

So, Luke let Boot’s be free, which is when Ty realizes that Luke saw himself in Boots - with an unstable home (a non-available loving mother/not with the right guardian), who still needs to be taken care of despite everything. Someone looking out for him. 

Lyndy

I’m not sure how fast it takes to potty train someone but... a weekend does seem a bit rushed. Maybe actual mom’s out there can advise more on this but I don’t think potty training is something you can... force? Like I said. I don’t know but without Jade it surely wouldn’t have happened.

Anyways, how cute was it when Tim told Lyndy to leave poor Remi alone. my bet is she got to know Remi pretty well off set with Amber at her farm/on set, so this was a pretty natural scene to film.

I also can’t help but think that the Lyndy scene of her bringing cars to Jade/Georgie was completely natural and improvised at the end.

Jade

Jade is lonely - and frankly bored not being able to ride Bronx and I totally understand. When you’re on the go all the time and then suddenly have nothing it can seem pretty boring. At least she seems to recognize (as does Amy) that Ty is just being Ty - overprotective AF and able to laugh at it. 

Jade even gets Lyndy to be potty trained (OK i stand corrected, it can be done?) and even Ty seems impressed. The potty cheering when she potty-trained successfully was a nice touch. 

It is nice to see Jade getting ‘back in the saddle’ - or back ‘near the saddle’ and to see her spirits lifted.

Georgie

Georgie meets her idol, Betty Thomas and it turns out Betty is pretty bitter. She just wants to eat in peace dammit! Which I totally get btw - I wouldn’t want to be disturbed while eating, however I guess she could have said it a little nicer.

Anyways, with Wyatt’s help, they track down Boots, Betty’s old trick riding horse; whose current owner has not seen him (her?) in a year. Poor horse. Anyways (how many times have I said anyways already), Georgie arranges Boots to come to Heartland so she can be reunited, but doesn’t heed Amy’s point that perhaps she doesn’t want to be reunited. 

Well, luckily for her, it doesn’t work out that way. Reluctant Betty is won over the minute she see’s Boots and Boots is miraculously riding willingly again. Never underestimate the power of old memories. Georgie even trick rides again and manages to make Luke and Betty smile. Wait? She made Luke talk. The power of horses? 

So maybe perhaps Georgie should have asked first, however maybe it was for the best that she didn’t as maybe if she did, Betty wouldn’t have even taken the chance. 

I also got the impression that Luke, Ty and Georgie might have something in common should Luke end up at Heartland; they all had rough childhoods and somehow stumbled onto something good. 

Amy and Ty end up buying Boots (so Luke seems happy and Betty can visit anytime!). And.. where is this disposable income coming from?! Like hellooo, Ty just took reduced hours at the clinic...

Wyatt

So we learn that he still keeps in touch with Adam and still clearly has something for Georgie, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Or even if he can’t because Georgie refutes it, as seen when he invites her to a “friend-date” to a Godzilla retrospective (which honestly doesn’t sound... that appealing?) and Georgie first assumes it’s a date.

“Oh so I should be offended you don’t have time to see a movie with me, but you’re gonna make time to track down some random strangers horse?”

“Okay, I can’t really say no to that, can I?”

“Gotta say, we still make a pretty good team.”

Yep. He still feels something for her.

So i’m not going to delete the top part but after spending an entire weekend together, Georgie buys tickets to the Godzilla thing... but corrects Wyatt when he says “friend date” to “real date”. I’ll say this - I think they’re good together but I don’t want them to rush into this like last time. Lets learn from our mistakes yes?

Tim and Jack

Lisa sends a bottle of wine to to “save for their anniversary”. Cute, but couldn’t Lisa just bring it back with her? Someone’s bound to drink it inadvertently by accident (oh and I have a feeling it will be Tim). Anyways, we know Lisa is alive - so that’s something.

BTW i’m soo proven to be right 10 minutes later. Classic Tim. 

“I made a big sacrifice moving here” - Tim

Look, I get Tim’s point that perhaps the bottle should have been labelled better - if its that valuable then perhaps the kitchen wasn’t the best idea? But at the same time, you didn’t make a sacrifice - you chose to sell Big River with no contingency plan, assuming that you’d move in with Casey. Not smart Tim, not so smart.

Tim ends up living in a rental mobile home after Jack kicks him out- a la rodeo days and I say it’s about time. I didn’t know how long Jack could live with Tim in the house; plus now we have normal subdued less volatile Jack/Tim relationship back on track!

End notes

- Ty trying not to be so controlling and letting Georgie go check on Jade was pretty funny, even if he won’t be so happy about the mess/tents

- Jade taking care of Lyndy after just having her own IRL child must have made it pretty natural; cue the irony that “she has no babysitting experience”

- I need another word instead of Anyways.

Songs in this Episode

@heartlandians

Full on Storm - Chloe Collins

Like I do - Natalie Poole

Made it Home - Ahi