#just getting stuff that was more than a spin dash?

[hero-in-high-tops]

The IDW art staff seeing the combat moves in frontiers

[letorip]

kiss with a fist [iii]

"your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same"

===+++===

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: you can't help but feel like maybe you and tara are more than frenemies, and it culminates in a night where you finally share some truths with each other.

warnings: a somewhat traumatic dream sequence lmao, mentions of sex, kissing (almost), curse words, blood

word count: 5.8k

A/N: hope y'all like this one because i definitely liked writing it. definitely a whole lot more kissing than fisting.... wait a minute....

it's 5 am, my ass is grass. anyways, part 4 relatively soon because woo wee theres still so much to explore in this story i legitimately cant believe my idiot self said it'd be done in 2 parts originally

===+++===

===+++===

"(Y/n)," a voice calls to you, sing-song and sweet as your eyes fade to darkness. It's a gentle woman's whisper, but it manages to hit you like a truck, pulling you down from wherever you came from, and plopping you wherever you've arrived. Or, rather, wherever you've always been. "(Y/n), look, darlin'."

A gust of wind gently strokes over the plane of your cheek, and when you open your eyes, all you can see is rye. On one end, it reaches out towards a sharp cliff, overlooking a lake, with nothing but rocks and the water below. On the other, it runs far up the plains of land in front of you, stopping in front of the white house you know all too well, with its rickety porch and broken tire swing.

You take a few steps forward, as if ready to run right inside, and then before you know it, you're running. Like the world is about to end, like the house is burning down, like you'll never see the place ever again. Foot after foot, you dash towards it, hearing Alisha's piano flit through the front window for the first time in years, and the smell of a pie right along with it. "(Y/n)!" the voice calls again. "Dinner time, kid!"—

But your foot catches on a root, just like it did in your memory, and in an instant, you've fallen down into the rye, with a painful thud, right on your face. You let out a grunt, feeling the dirt on your new, white shirt. The one your mother never let you wear when you were playing outside.

And when you right yourself again, sitting up out of the field, the house isn't any closer than it was before. It sits, perfectly far away, only all that stuff is gone now, and the house looks about as dark as it did the day of Mitchie's funeral.

"(Y/n)!" an excited voice calls from behind you. "Wanna play tag?"

"(Y/n)'s too old for that, Mitchie," another voice chides, and you whip around like Calvin would actually be there to chide him like that. Like he used to. But he isn't. All you can see is the rye. It stands in thick stalks, reaching up to your knees in lush groupings, tall and abundant, strong and growing.

Another voice. "Read me a story?" It's soft and it's a little girl's and it's far away, and you get to your feet and spin in a circle, waiting for her to appear. It seemed to reverberate through your ears, washing through the pathways of your brain before seeping into your heart. It fills it up, and before you know it, you can feel yourself hastily searching for her.

"'Randa?" you called into the open field. "Miranda? You there?" but she continues on like she didn't hear you.

"Would you read me a story? Please?"

"I will Miranda, but where are you?" you called back, raising a hand to shield your eyes from the barrel of the hot sun.

"I'm gone, (Y/n). You're supposed to be gone too," she says back, with a sweet giggle. "Why aren't you gone with us?"

"I—" you stammer, whipping your head around the field in search of your siblings. "I don't—"

"Do you really think that's fair, (Y/n)?" Calvin asks.

"Why aren't you here, (Y/n)?" Miranda asks again, this time her voice wavering like she was about to cry. "Why aren't you in the rye with us?" Your hands came up to your head, trying to squeeze your eyes shut and block out the noises, but they seemed to reverberate into your skull.

"Mitchie was your fault, you know," Peter chides. "We would've never let that—"

"—Why did you get to stay, (Y/n)?" Came Tomas' voice. "We're supposed to be cursed, and you're supposed to be cursed too." He was always the quiet one, but now his voice had a sharp edge to it. One of jealousy. One of anger.

"Why didn't you catch me?" Mitchie asked. "If you just would've caught me..."

"Come play piano with me, I'll teach you," said Alisha, in her light, airy laugh.

"Why did it get to be you?" snarled Calvin. "And why are you getting closer to Tara? You want to curse her, too?"

"Stop—" you stammered, squeezing your eyes shut tighter.

"Wanna play hopscotch?" said Mitchie.

"Do you miss us, (Y/n)?" Alisha said, in between tears.

"Yes, of course— I—" you tried, but now the voices were filling up your head, threatening to spill over and knocking you to the ground. You curled up into a ball as your brain filled up. Words piling up on top of words, piling up on top of words, about to split you open. "STOP!" you yelled.

And everything went silent. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself still in the field, but your siblings' voices had gone entirely. Now it was just you, in the field, alone with the rustling of the wind and the rye, as it grazed gently against your legs. You hadn't remembered standing up, but you were now.

In a flash, you could see a shape, running through the rye in a line that was very visible from where you were. You recognised the dark hair, and the yellow jacket he always wore. With the realisation came the looming dread, and you realised with very little time left what this exactly was a memory of.

You took off running, faster than you had to the house, faster than you had ever run, and faster than you had run then, chasing after him as he took off towards the cliff-end of your rye field. "Mitchie!" you yelled, trying to be louder than the buzzing cicadas, but it seemed the moment you yelled, the cicadas got even louder. He was too short to see over the stalks, but you could see him go, running in odd shapes as he got nearer and nearer to the cliffs edge.

"Catch me if you can, (Y/n)!" he called back with a gleeful laugh.

"(Y/n), grab your brother," called your mother. She didn't seem too worried, and she hadn't been, then. No one had been, until it was too late.

"Mitchie! Stop!" you cried out, feeling tears already beginning to fall down your cheeks. "Mitchie!" you tried again.

"Come on, you've gotta be faster than that if you're gonna be it!” Mitchie called back. "Catch me! Get me! C'mon! I'm gonna make it hard for you to win, Duck."

"MITCHIE! PLEASE!" you screamed, but all he did was giggle. “STOP! DON’T GO!” But the moment you reached the end of the rye, he was gone over the edge, just he had been when you were 13, and there was an arm shaking you awake.

===+++===

"Oh my god, you're about the least peaceful sleeper I've literally ever seen," Tara laughed, grinning at you from over her textbook. She had it pulled into her lap from her side of the table and titled against the table edge, and spread out in front of you were her papers galore, with notes scribbled all over them in preparation for her upcoming exam.

Mindy sat next to her, playing a stupid game on her phone, while Ethan was also studying in his own textbook. He had stopped trying to avoid you as much, as had Chad. You and Tara "dating" seemed to offend them less and less the longer it went on.

"Uh," you mumbled, still feeling a little bit disoriented from the dream. It was like a dose of adrenaline had been shot directly into your heart, and you struggled to adjust to the calm, peaceful library that actually was around you. "Shut up," you grumbled, but not like you were actually upset by her teasing.

Tara watched you with her eyebrows raised. "You look tired."

You sat up in your chair, running a hand through your hair. There was a small layer of sweat on your forehead. "Aren't you never supposed to say that to someone? Pretty sure that's how you get someone at the bar to throw their drink in your face."

"It is," Ethan nodded. "I made that mistake once. I was trying to be sweet."

"Good thing I'm not seducing you, then," Tara shrugged. "You've seen me puke everywhere. Pretty sure that ruined my chances right-out, and yet you love me anyways."

You grinned, leaning back to stretch out your arms. It was meant to be a gentle teasing from Tara, but you had only gotten better and better at deflecting the longer you were around her. "You'd be surprised, actually. That was super pretty. That was the prettiest you've ever been." Mindy snorted next to Tara.

Tara glared at you, unappreciatively. "And you're pretty when you do not speak."

"I'm pretty all the time, Tara," you mockingly shook your head. "And you think I'm joking. Find yourself a girl who looks nice covered in sweat, with her hair going everywhere, and puking in the toilet. That's my girlfriend."

"You're such a dick," Tara scoffed, but you could tell part of her was stifling a laugh. It was funny to her too, and you both had laughed at it together for days, afterwards.

If anything, it had gotten easier and easier, to act like the both of you were actually dating. You weren't too sure why, maybe Tara had become less annoying, or you had become less annoyed by her, but you had definitely at least become a better actor. That's what it was, after all. "Oh, also," she continued.

"Yeah?"

"Someone tried to call your phone, while you were sleeping. I think it was your dad."

You frowned. "You didn't pick up, right?"

"No," Tara said, shaking her head. Then she paused. She dropped her voice to speak just to you, guarding the conversation from Mindy and Ethan. "Do you and him not get along?"

You shrugged. "Eh. He was probably just checking in. We have a fine relationship." It wasn't true but it was an easy lie, that rolled off the tongue like nothing. He had already called twice, that day, and you knew why.

"Seriously, though," she said with a frown, looking up from her book. "You look fucking horrifying—"

"—Thanks," you said, flatly.

"—I mean, even more than normal, it's crazy—"

"—Thanks," you repeated.

"—Have you not been sleeping, or something?"

You shrugged. "I mean, I'm an architecture major, and it's midterms... so not really."

"Hm."

"What?" you asked, propping your head up on your arm. "What's the 'hm' for?"

She shrugged, trying to turn back to her textbook. "Hm, nothing."

You furrowed your eyebrows down at her. "Well, obviously the 'hm' was something, Tara." Mindy shot you a look again.

"Or it was just a hm."

“Would you two shush,” she said to you, rolling her eyes. “You bicker like an old married couple.” But you both ignored her.

"It's never just a 'hm.'"

"I say hm all the time. It's literally just a hm."

"No, it means you've got something to say but don't want to say it."

She frowned at the accusation but was obviously even more displeased that you were correct. "I was gonna suggest we go to the OBK party tonight, but maybe you should just go home and sleep. I was trying to be nice.”

You shrugged. "I won't be doing either, actually." Tonight was not the night for parties. You were somewhat grateful, that you had a legitimate excuse to busy your time, or else you would've spent even longer thinking about the dream. "I have to do homework. My final is due tomorrow."

Tara furrowed her eyebrows at you. "Wait, but I thought classes ended today."

You shook your head. "Nope. I've still got some stuff do."

"Oh," Tara frowned.

"Not all of us can have easy majors," you teased, trying to lighten the mood away from what was clearly concern.

"Hey! You chose the stupid thing," Tara shot back. "Not my fault I chose something fun." She stood up, gathering her things into a neat stack. The time was nearing for her midterm exam, and you stood up with her, grabbing her textbook to be helpful.

"Thanks," she said, then she wandered over and held out her hand. You grabbed it in yours, lacing your fingers together, just like you had practiced together.

The library was a tall building on the far side of campus from where you lived. It was a trek and a half to get there, which is partially why you had been a little annoyed, when Tara said she needed to go there. It ended up being the perfect place to fall asleep in, with the quiet signs and only a few murmurs now and again, and though it had been a less than peaceful dream, it was more than you had been getting for the past few days.

"I don't see why you can't just go without me," you shrugged, adjusting her book in your hands. "Just tell Sam I'll meet you there. Besides, Chad and Mindy are going to the same party, right?"

"Yeah, but I what if they realise you're not actually there and mention it to Sam, or something? And, I'd have to go there alone, since Chad and Mindy are going early."

"They are?"

"Yeah. Helping with set up. Mindy literally just mentioned that. Shows how much you listen to her.” She shook her head in a mocking disappointment in you.

“I was asleep, jerk.”

“I know,” she said, grinning.

You looked down to her, where she walked next to you, gently swinging your joint hands back and forth. "It's not a far walk to OBK. You could probably make it there in five minutes. It's well-lit, and—"

Tara frowned, shaking her head adamantly. "Not alone. Not without you, no way. Sam would want to see you at the door to pick me up. She'd probably hate the idea of it."

"Fair enough," you shrugged. "Find a movie at home tonight, then. Relax, or something. I'd kill to be done with this stupid project."

"What are you even making?" Tara groaned, breaking your hands to shove hers into her pockets. Actually, it was your jacket, and therefore technically your pockets too, but she had taken a liking to it, after your date. You had been less than pleased, when she asked to borrow it, considering how much the jacket meant to you, but she insisted it was assisting her to keep up the act. You figured you could part with it, at least for a little while.

"Architecture," you said with a thick layer of sarcasm. Tara rolled her eyes at you. She nudged you, and you couldn't help but laugh as her elbow pointed into your side.

"Oh, you think you're funny, huh?"

"I'm hilarious."

"You wish..." she scoffed, shaking her head.

It was a beautiful day in autumn, and the weather was soon to leave the sigh of brown leaves and rainy days and move into whispery winds and icy pavement. You didn't mind winter, but you didn't like the chills, even though it was undoubtedly what gave summer's warmth a certain sweetness. Still, nothing burned like the cold.

You walked her all the way to the door of the exam hall, stopping out front to hand her the textbook you had been carrying. You went to speak, but the moment you tried to open your mouth, your phone started ringing. You grabbed it from your pocket, sighing and declining the call, while Tara stared at you.

"Is that your dad, again?"

"No," you said. "Telemarketer."

"Right..." she said, frowning. "You're a terrible liar."

"Am I?" you challenged. You were, it was true.

"Why don't you want to talk to him?"

“I just don’t.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m asking why, (Y/n).”

"Why don't you leave it alone?" you shot, in frustration. You could see Tara's eyes narrow at your tone, and you felt a bit bad. There was the occasional reflex still, to bite each other's heads off. You weren't sure what it was about her, but something about Tara Carpenter always seemed to rile you up inside, and do the same for her with you.

"Sorry," you said, looking down at your shoes. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"That doesn't mean you have to be an asshole," Tara glared.

"Right... I'm... sorry."

Tara sighed. "I guess I'll see you next week?" She asked.

You nodded. "There'll be plenty of time after this, I just need to get this thing done."

"Okay," she nodded, failing to hide her excitement. Tara seemed to really love parties, the more and more she went to, and you were somewhat glad you could help her find something she enjoyed. It was nice to see, not that you'd ever say that to her. Doing that would absolutely result in her teasing you again, or something even more annoying.

"Good luck on your test," you said.

"Good luck on your project, babe," she said, drawing the name out.

“Now who’s hilarious,” you said with an eye roll. Tara winked at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Me.”

===+++===

It seemed you were having no good luck on it whatsoever, actually. Laid out in front of you was all of your materials, in a messy pile of cut-out pieces and foam boards that were there, sure, but not likely to just jump together and put itself together on its own.

The clock had already ticked away to 12:33 in the morning, and your design was barely finalised to where you could get to work and finish quickly. All of the other students had left at a much more reasonable hour, and it left you standing at your table alone, quietly working to classical music in the empty modelling lab.

At this rate, you could be here for another two or three hours, and the project was due at eight. You were sluggish, slowly working through the plans you had set out days ago and working through the kinks.

Every few minutes, when you stopped for even a second, the dream seemed to rush back to the forefront of your brain. Your mother had been the one to call, that evening while you were eating a poor excuse of a dinner, and you had declined that call just like you had declined all the rest.

You were hunched over your work, probably unhealthily so, with your face buried in your iPad, hastily throwing out sketches of the various shapes. You were settling on a design that would have to do, heading for the woodcutter, when you heard a noise.

It resembled a door shutting, and you froze right where you were. "Greg?" you called out. There was no one else in the building except for you and Greg, at his usual security post, and you waited with bated breath for him to return your call.

But there was no response, and all you could hear was the sounds of classical music gently floating in the background. Usually, it set you at ease while you worked through whatever you were doing in the lab, but now all it did was raise your heart rate to match the increasing tempo. It was completely dark, except for the overhead light above you, which illuminated the table you were working at and a few of the stainless steel cabinets that held tools and supplies.

Then, off to the side, you heard a rolling. An odd, wooden rolling, slowly drifting towards you. On the ground was a pencil, gently pushed towards you, playfully rolling as if perfectly in front of your toes. You hopped to your feet. "Hello?" you called, squinting in the dim light, in case anyone else was there. "Is anyone there?" you called out again. "Greg?"

Now you could really feel the thumping of your heart. The modelling lab had always been creepy late at night, but this was a new level of unease. It was as if someone was watching you, playing with their food, and you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "Is someone there?" you said to the rest of the room.

"Hey!" said a voice, and you jumped what felt like five feet into the air.

"Fuck!" you shouted, spinning around and seeing Tara behind you. She jumped at your reaction, raising her hands up. In one of them was a tray with two coffees on it. “You scared me!”

"Woah, woah, are you okay?" she asked, face etched with concern. She walked towards you slowly, and you put your hands on the edge of the table, trying to calm yourself.

"Don't just sneak up on me like that, dude," you glared at her.

"I literally didn't, I fucking announced myself, loud as can be," Tara said, rolling her eyes at you. Then, it melded into concern. "How long have you been here?" she asked, looking around the place and its emptiness.

"Since I left you at your test," you shrugged. "How'd it go by the way?" Tara's eyebrows furrowed, ignoring your question instead for one of her own.

"Did you at least eat dinner, or something?"

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Good."

“Yeah…,” you trailed off, turning back to your work. “How did you know where I was?"

“I asked Chad. He’s still a little snippy with me about, well, thinking we're together. Tried to tell me that if anyone would know, it would be me, and I said, yeah, that’s true, but it’s only been three months, now.”

“Well,” you said, gesturing around to the lab. “This is the modelling lab.” You were a bit of a nerd about the whole place, showing it off like it was your cool superhero lair.

“I know,” Tara mocked. “I saw it on the giant sign above the front door.”

“Ha ha. Does Sam know that you’re here?” You asked, grabbing your pen and resuming your work while you continued to talk to Tara. She plopped herself down on the edge of the table, letting her feet swing.

She looked a bit sheepish at the question. “Uh… no.”

“You know she’ll kill me like she did that one time, if you’re not home when she wakes up,” you frowned, wandering over to the supplies and grabbing out a box cutter to help trim the pieces you needed.

Tara nodded. “I know. But I snuck out, so I’ll sneak back in.”

You turned back around to reply, maybe say something stupid, but you had to stop yourself from laughing, when you saw her legs hanging off the counter and not reaching the ground.

“What?” Tara asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head and returning to the table. “…Dwarf.”

“Hey!” she said, smacking you on the arm. “I brought you coffee, don’t make me take it back.”

“That’s true,” you frowned, weighing your options. “Guess I can’t make fun of you; you brought me caffeine.”

“That’s more like it."

You worked in silence for a few minutes, feeling Tara watch your every movement. It was harder to work, under her scrutiny, but you were grateful that she was there. It wasn’t lonely in there, any more. A few months ago, you would’ve hated her guts for sitting around while you attempted to work. But not with Tara anymore. Not on that day.

“This might be an all-nighter,” you warned, sending her a small smile as you sliced a piece of foam in half and went to work to attach it to your board.

“Fine with me,” Tara shrugged. She just continued to watch you, in a calm silence. “Actually, I have beef with you,” she hummed.

You laughed, looking up while you secured the base with glue. “Why’s that, Tara?”

“You got that song, stuck in my head.”

“Which one?” You asked.

“The one you sang for me. I found it online.”

“Which one?” you teased, smiling again. Your face was tired and the smile certainly didn’t help, but you couldn’t help the newfound peace washing over you again. You had completely forgotten the weird happening from earlier.

“You know, don’t play dumb.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I really don’t know.”

“You literally do,” Tara scoffed.

“Sing a little bit. Refresh my memory.”

“Nuh uh,” she said, crossing her arms. “This is a trap.”

“It isn’t,” you insisted, sticking your pinky out to her. “Swear.”

She wrapped it in her own, rolling her eyes. She definitely knew it was, but she obliged anyway. “If you need a friend, don’t look to a strangerrr. You know in the end,” her voice broke on the low note like yours did, and you laughed while heat rose to her cheeks. “I’ll always be thereeee.”

“And when you’re in doubt,” you sang back to her, in between laughs. “And when you’re in dangerrr.” You both were tone deaf and the rendition was awful, but the mood in the lab was getting lighter and lighter the longer you were together.

“Take a look all around,” Tara sang, coming back in. “And I’ll be there.”

It was impossible not to laugh at how bad it was on both sides, and you grinned at her toothily, before turning back to your work. “Thank you for reminding me.”

“You’re welcome, idiot,” she teased, nudging you in the side again.

===+++===

You went back to working on your model, finishing the first floor in about an hour. You and Tara occasionally talked now and again, but mostly she just watched you while you worked. “Why are you doing this all tonight?” she asked.

“Uh…” you stuttered. “I didn’t have time the past couple weeks…cause of… well, you.”

She shot up to her feet, mouth dropping open. “Why the hell didn’t you say no to me?! I didn’t know you had all this to do.”

You shrugged. “I never mentioned it. Plus, you were having fun. I’m glad someone was enjoying themselves.”

“Oh…” she said, and it sounded small.

“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“…Nothing."

“It’s fine, Tar. Seriously.” She blinked at you.

“Tar?” she asked, looking amused.

You looked up from your work, feeling the change in the atmosphere. “What?”

“I don’t know, you’ve just never used the nickname for me, before.”

“Yeah, I guess not. Is it weird?”

“Well… no. I kind of like it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she agreed, nodding a little. “My mom was the one who gave me the nickname Tar. Haven’t spoken to her in a little while, though.”

“Do you still miss her?” you asked, glueing your second story onto the base successfully.

“Sometimes…” she trailed off, staring out at the pitch black night through the window that hung over your workspace. "She calls me once in a while."

"Do you answer?" you asked.

"No," she admitted. "It's usually about Woodsboro. I gave up on her a few months ago, but she still calls sometimes about the town."

"You never talk about it..." you comment, trailing off with a hand on the back of your neck. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." You leaned back against the table with a curiosity, watching her face move as she struggled to answer.

"Well... it's cause I don't want to that I don't talk about it. You know how people say that shit about manifesting happiness?" you nodded, knowing what she was talking about. "Well, I keep saying I'm fine, and I'm moving on, but it just keeps following me everywhere. It's like this chronic cough I can't shake. This constant thing. No matter how much I run, it's always there. People don't see me as anything but one of the survivors."

You swallowed, feeling her words hit you. "I know what you mean." Tara's eyes snapped down to yours, but when you didn't volunteer more information, she sighed.

You frowned, turning yourself back to your work and hunching over, so she wouldn’t see the heat rising to your cheeks. “I, uh… I listened to that song you said you liked, too.”

“You did?” she asked, lighting up at the mention of it.

“Yeah… added it to my playlist… so…”

“So…” Tara laughed, amused by your awkwardness. It was somehow less awkward when you hated each other. The fact you could tolerate each other now was unusual but not unpleasant, and you still found yourself grappling with how pretty Tara’s eyes looked in lamplight. "If I get a nickname, you absolutely have to have one too."

You scoffed. "That's not at all what that means."

"You had to have had one at some point."

"No, I haven't had one," you said.

"Liar!" Tara said with a giggle, pointing at you with her finger. "You're so bad at lying it's remarkable. Now spill. What is it?"

"I'm not lying!" you insisted, but now you were laughing and it was even less convincing.

"C'mon, promise I won't say it in public— unless it's really bad."

You stared at her for a moment, when she clasped her hands together in a begging plea.

"Please?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Pleaseeee?"

"Fine," you sighed. "My family, they used to call me Duck."

"Duck?" She asked, leaning back to look at you as if the nickname would re-contextualise your entire appearance. "Where'd that come from?"

"It's dumb. I used to wear this yellow raincoat when it was storming outside and these orange booties, so my little brother Mitchie saw me, when he was like five or six, and said I was a Duck. And so I was Duck."

She smiled at you, genuinely pleased with the explanation. "That's adorable. Where is Mitchie, tonight?"

You opened your mouth but shut it. Then, you opened it again. "Probably watching cartoons, or something. Back in Nebraska." (A/N: my ass genuinely did not know that was a U.S. state until right now)

You couldn't tell her that today was the day he had died, several years ago. That a year or two before that had happened, Calvin had gone, and a few months before that, Tomas and Alisha had passed too. That Peter had gotten sick, or that Miranda had gone missing before any of that mess had happened. That you were the only one left.

It was a bad lie, and probably one you would regret later, but it was one you ushered past, and Tara didn't seem to pick up on. From one cursed person to another, you figured it was probably best that you keep your own curse to yourself. It's part of what had made you hate Tara so much at first. She walked around knowing her days were likely numbered, so carefree and careless. And then there was you, you who was so careful in order to keep living.

But you couldn't resent her for that. It had melted away with seeing the Tara underneath. The real, beautiful Tara underneath.

"Duck is good, though. I'll bring it out when I want to embarrass you," Tara smiled, inching closer on the table.

"Yeah?" you grinned back at her, standing up to gently tap against the glue. It was set, and your model was finally finished at 4:42 in the morning. Tara leaned close, watching the glue with her own eyes, cheek almost up against yours in curiosity.

You finished the thing, looking over at her and her large, warm brown eyes, staring at the model you had made with so much curiosity and genuine interest. Tara hadn't lifted a finger to help, but you couldn't help but feel like it was partially hers.

You went to pull back but found your face turning towards hers, looking at each other for a long moment. Your eyes lingered on the slope of her nose, down to the curvature of her soft lips, turned up in the corners like Tara always did when she smiled. They looked so soft, and before you knew what was happening, you could feel Tara's hands coming up to the sides of your face, thumbs gently stroking against the skin there.

You couldn't breathe, feeling the warmth of the pads of her fingers on your face and the faint brush of her breath upon your nose. "Tara," you whispered. The pull was magnetic, and just as you were about to say to hell with it all, her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, and you both leapt apart from each other.

You wandered a few feet away, trying to seem busy while she answered it. You could feel Tara watching you while she spoke on the phone, so you did your best to hide the blush that was certainly spread wide across your cheeks.

This was the very girl you had spent the past several months hating. You suddenly felt dizzy, like the world would slip out from under your feet. Tara, the very same annoying girl who had pestered with you and bickered with you. The one who had so much more to her that what you had ever thought possible. The one who drew you in. The one in search of a hook up, for which you were only the decoy. You cleared your throat, whipping around when you heard Tara say "What?!"

"What's wrong?" you asked. "What's going on?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at you like she was about to cry. "They're questioning Sam again. They think Ghostface is back."

===+++===

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN anyways my ass is going to bed now. also i do not recommend anyone lie to someone they're interested in about who they are, ESPECIALLY an attempted murder victim

[woo-wahhhh]

[ too much energy ] "kaji..."

"what?!"

"did you seriously just walk into my shop, before class, and already injured?" you scowled back, rolling your eyes as you regarded his relaxed figure in the doorway. a part of you marvelled how he looked perturbed by your disbelief than he was of the blood freshly running down his arm. "you have way too much energy this early in the morning, dude."

"look, clown me all you want, but let's get one thing straight," he grit out. he jabbed a finger vindictively at you, followed by the insanely loud clacking of his stupid lollipop against his teeth. "i didn't get into a fight."

"colour me impressed," you couldn't help but quip sarcastically, though you motioned him to come closer to where you were rummaging under the counter. you were grateful that being so early, no one had come into buy flowers yet, since it would be a bit of a jump scare to find a man bleeding out.

"shut up," he hissed, glaring perpetually while he took a seat behind your counter, and sticking his arm out. it was amusing, how someone could look annoyed yet so charming in the same action. you almost wanted to comment on the his childish appearance, but you had a feeling he'd slap his headphones on and dash out if you did.

"well?" you prompted, pulling out a first aid kit and setting it on the counter. "what happened to your arm then?"

you could feel his hawkish gaze trail after your every move, scrutinizing each action with such intensity, you couldn't tell if he was pissed off or if he was under an enchantment.

"that granny lost her cat again," kaji said simply.

this boy, you cursed internally as you pulled out disinfectant and bandages. "and?"

"what do you think happened?" he scowled, canines flashing as he grit his teeth at the sting of the ointment. "it fucking scratched me when i caught it." he shook his fringe out of the way, perhaps to properly express his annoyance.

"you look much more handsome when you're angry," you blurted out, reaching up to push his hair back without thinking too much– after all, he was your boyfriend. but more importantly, it was much to his incredibly visible chagrin– by habit, he flinched, automatically trying to grab at his headphones, but he couldn't shake off your grip on his arm, leaving him to clutch one side like a damsel in distress, eyes wide and horrified.

but he calmed down quickly enough when you didn't pay him mind, too accustomed to his shenanigans, humming lightly as you focused on the bandages and keeping the heat from dancing up your spine. there was a simmering tension between you; unspoken, though his eyes were dead set on your nimble movements, the distinct weight of his gaze telling you he wouldn't look away, or more properly, he couldn't.

once you finally looked up from your finished work, you noted his eyebrows were knit together, the permanent glare on his face still written in stone, but his tone was somehow gentler than he let on. "look me in the eyes if you're gonna say stuff like that."

silence ensued, of course, your eyebrows quirking up as the obvious dangled from your tongue.

"kaji, you just looked like you were about to bolt outta here,"

"well, yeah, how else am i supposed to act when you say that?"

"i- i don't know," you stammered, suddenly hyperaware of how he wasn't looking away, how his eyes were practically tracing over every contour of your face with the intensity that could burn. "maybe- maybe act a bit more touched?"

"touched?" he echoed, a bit of incredulous sneer in his voice as he hopped off his seat. the abruptness of it all startled you as your back unwittingly hit the counter, and before you could make your own grand escape, he placed an arm on each side of you, effectively caging you in.

the sudden change up from the incredibly flustered kaji to this steamrolling behaviour made your head spin as you gaze up at him with wide eyes that were only met with a grey, smouldering gaze with the intensity of a storm.

"here," kaji swiftly popped out the lollipop from his mouth, holding it to you. you hesitantly took it from his hand, the question of "what the hell, dude?" bubbling at your lips when without a warning, he grabbed your face and kissed you.

short and sweet, but somehow still awfully fierce for that early in the day– you expected nothing less from ren kaji.

"now what was about?" you giggled as you pulled back, dotingly reaching up to smear your lip gloss onto his chapped lips. an act of giving and receiving, one could even say, since he'd left you with the sickeningly sweet taste of caramel on your tongue. "do you like it when i call you handsome?" you teasingly chimed.

"shut up," kaji grumbled once again, pushing his hair back and pressing his forehead against yours. "you looked cute and i just felt like it, that's all." maybe to someone else, that wasn't a fulfilling response, but you knew how straightforward kaji was, and that he wouldn't lie about something like that.

"well, if you're feeling like it then," you whispered, your lips bumping into his as you spoke, "you should kiss me again."

"demanding," kaji huffed out, though he hoisted you up onto the counter anyways without breaking a sweat, a small, but cocky smile on his face when you grabbed onto his shoulders for dear life.

"oh my god, at least warn me!" you complained. maybe you really should have kept an eye on the door, but with his figure before you, and slotted between your legs and the his hand gently coaxing you forward by the nape of your neck, it was hard to care.

"you have way too much energy to yap in the morning," he chided indignantly, but the way he was already leaning up suggested otherwise.

"hey, you're the one who–!"

"morning, (name)! did kaji already pop by– oh,"

"w-w-we'll just– uh– s-see you at school, k-kaji!?" enomoto managed to croak out before they both scurried away with mildly red faces, reminding you less of the teenage gang members they were and more of children.

you almost fell off the counter, had it not been for kaji's reflexes, but the damage had been done, and the lollipop he'd entrusted you with fell to the floor with a dull thud as enomoto and kusumi blinked at the two of you with horrified expressions.

"hey boys," you greeted casually with a wave.

"oh my, we've made a scandal, darling," you joked– regrettably, or so you thought later in the day when the rest of the tamon team's second years started cooing at at poor kaji. perhaps it was a lesson to not be so energetic in the mornings from then on.

[mechaknight-98]

Home Run (NSFW) Ft. Sohee

The winner of poll for Wednesday’s fic. Hope y'all enjoy.

Sohee had always loved baseball for the entirety of your relationship. It was so all-consuming that you often wondered if she loved the "sport" more than you. You couldn't stand the sport however mostly because of its glacial pace, and lack of stacks in moment-to-moment play. Rugby was more your speed, but you learned the tells and watched 4 full seasons of Eagles games. at this point, you knew the sport almost inside and out begrudgingly, but you loved Sohee and she did make it worth your while. when watching the last game of the season you partially zoned out as a new game on the switch came out. so you were enjoying that Muted so Sohee could get the full experience of watching her team. As the game winded down you looked towards the stat sheet to catch up on what was going on.

"Ugh well, there goes our chance at playoffs." Sohee groaned indicating that both the game and her team's season were over.

Absent you say, "Their playoff hopes were dashed ages ago and until they do something about their offensive play then they will continue to fall behind the pack."

Sohee turns to you surprised, "How do you know this she challenged

"Well, defensively they are great 12 strikeouts to 8 is insane, they also had a similar number of at-bats, hits, and batting averages. the disparity comes in runs batted in and bases on ball which contributed to an early lead for the Giants that was just too much to overcome. You explained without looking up from your switch.

"but other games have been closer!" Sohee asserted confidently.

at this point, you look up from your switch to smile at your lovely girlfriend and say, "Baby I love you but your team finished 9 out of 10 in the rankings this year. I know you say it's not a "numbers" game and there is more to it than stats but in this specific case the numbers don't lie." To soften the sting you kiss her cheek.

Sohee smiles and says, "Since when did you become an expert on my team."

"Babe," you groan, "We have watched this entire season. Now I know they are not the same team as last year but at least for this season, they had offensive issues. That much is apparent with how many games ended in one-sided games of 7-2 or 8-0, or..." Sohee seeing your point kisses you before you start running more numbers off. Quiet as it's kept she would always get so turned on when you talked baseball. She was dripping wet when she straddled you as the kiss languished into a full make-out.

"Someone's feeling frisky." you tease.

"I just can't help it. When my boyfriend knows his stuff it makes me all excited." Sohee replies demurely, she would never admit it to you but whenever you started getting super into the stats and numbers her head would begin to spin with arousal and she always had to resist the urge to just drain you then and there. Today though you were both off for the next couple of days so she could fuck you as long as she wanted. She began the horizontal tango by pushing down on the couch as she began to kiss you more fervently.

"Um, babe I hate to kill the mood but can I ask that you give me one second to let go of the switch." You asked as she broke the kiss to breathe.

"hm," Sohee huffed.

"Hey I can't massage your ass the way you like if I don't have both my hands." you tease. Sohee smiled gleefully and let you go. you run to the dock to place your switch before going back to her, and she wastes no time returning to her attack on your body, but you are not merely prey. you counterattack her kisses of your neck and collarbone by massaging her bountiful rump. She mewls in pleasure eager to egg you on. As the two of you kiss her tongue is the first to explore your mouth. She draws you in and refuses to relinquish control as she has her tongue dance along the whole of your mouth. when she breaks the kiss to breathe a trail of saliva links the two of you together still Sohee licks her lips and purrs before unfastening your belt. You groan in pleasure as she fishes out your cock and begins to suck on it. you try not to push her down as her cheeks hollow and she takes you further than ever, but the comfort and warmth of her throat cause you to buck your hips which leads to a further loss of control as you begin to relentlessly fuck her throat. You watch as your girlfriend's eyes roll back as you continue to use her throat to pleasure you. the sounds of gags break the silence of your shared apartment, as she submits to you wholly and completely. You continue to use her throat with reckless abandon

You don't stop until you feel your release and cum down her throat. As you sense, you see Sohee stare at you with a look she has never displayed before. She gets up and smiles at you lustfully. "You like using me like a little fuckdoll?" she says with angered lust.

"You like just using my throat like it's your toy?" she pressures. She begins to corner you and of course, this leads to the bedroom. she pushes you down and begins to suck your cock again. you groan as she takes you down her throat, but this time it's different as she begins to manipulate her throat muscles in a way that's foreign but insane to you.

"Oh God," you scream as Sohee works over your cock. Sohee smiles and eggs you on

"You gonna cum for mommy. Come on cum down Mommy's throat like the good boy you are and I just might let you fuck my pussy." You can't hold out much longer as Sohee continues to relentlessly suck and gorge herself on your rod before you cum again, but she's not done with you yet. she begins to rub your cock to get it hard again

Your overwhelmed body barely can stop the moan of pleasure and discomfort as Sohee takes you inside. She smiles at Sickly while watching you squirm under her.

“Babe please stop,” you beg but Sohee begins to ride you oblivious to your discomfort she chases her high.

“Oh I just love how you fill me up,” she says as she begins her deadly body roll her tight tummy hypnotizes you as she continues grinding on your cock. She continues to chase her release despite your protests. You groan and wince as she pushes you further and further past your

limits, while she loses herself more and more to pleasure. Eventually, you pass out.

When you wake up your head is pounding as you feel something wet and tight on your crotch it's Sohee. She's passed out while you're still inside her. You chuckle and adjust so the two of you can cuddle together. When you get into a comfortable position Sohee nestles closer.

“I may not know baseball but you are my favorite home run,” you say as you fall asleep again

[thisismeracing]

Honeymoon stunts | CL16

― Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader (she/her) ― Word count: 1.2k ― Warnings: not proofread; mentions of a wedding and public sex; graphic description of sex; p in v; breeding kink; +18 (minors DNI); ― Summary: Charles and Yn just got married, and although they know too much about one another, there's always something new to discover together, such as Charles' new breeding kink. ― A/n: Every piece I write here it’s a new experience, so your feedback, comments, and asks are more than welcome. *mwah* 🤍

⁕ I just got back from a shadowban so Tumblr is still a bit slow on delivering my stuff, that being said, it would be nice if you guys could not only like, but reblog this piece. Thank youuu!

Based on this request.

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

⁕ you can support my writing by reblogging, and leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece)

Charles loved the sea. He loved what it represented, its mysteries, and how it could be used for many interpretations of life. For example, he loved to think that life sometimes worked just like the sea: it had its highs and lows, sometimes the waves would reach the furthest part of the beach, and sometimes it would retract and crash almost around itself. He, like the sea, has had many setbacks the past few years, but, just like the sea, Charles too had his high tides. The most recent one being just the other day: his marriage.

Charles married Yn, and he considered this his high tide. The water reached the driest pieces of land in his heart. 

He have never been so happy the way he was with Yn by his side. 

And as if on cue, she appeared in front of him obstructing a bit of the sunlight reaching his face. Charles pinched his sunglasses at the point of his nose, leaving just enough space for Yn to see his eyes. 

“Hi, husband,” she grinned.

“Hey, wife.”

“I missed you in bed,” she confessed before straddling his lap, her hands firmly planted on his strong shoulders.

Charles mumbled a quick apology busying his lips with her ebony skin. He trailed kisses from her neck to her jawline and the corner of her lips, and then from her cheeks to her shoulders where he lowered the straps of her nightgown. Yn smiled and with a dashing attitude, she pushed the small piece of fabric enough to free one of her breasts. 

“Chérie,” Charles lets out a pained whisper as if trying to hold himself back.

“It’s a private beach.” Yn reminded.

“We’re going into the kinky public sex?” he teased lightening the mood and Yn threw her head back in laughter. The Monegasque watched how that position exposed so much for him. Just for him.

And what could Charles do if not take it?

One of his hands tightened on Yn’s waist, while his open palm found a home in the middle of her back bringing her body closer to his mouth. He kissed and licked over the places he knew he had left small lovebites the night prior. Yn whimpered and rocked her hips against his bulge, she was wearing nothing but the nightgown and Charles moaned when he felt her wetness against his trunks. He dipped one of his hands between their bodies, his skilled fingers were fast to find her sensitive bud and rub it teasingly. She bucked her hips harder and Charles groaned. 

It was her turn to kiss her way from his neck to his face. She took her time biting, sucking, and gently kissing his now-tanned skin. And she did it all while lazily rocking on top of him, which only drove Charles crazy. Yn, however, didn’t kiss his lips and he was about to protest when she got up, took off her nightgown threw it at his face, and covered her breasts with one of her arms. 

“Yn…” Charles warned and she giggled. The wind and the waves mixed themselves with her happy noises and Charles swore he found paradise again. 

“You want it?” she teased spinning her body for him. “Come get it!” she giggled again and took off to their cabin. Charles gripped her piece of clothing and laughed before sprinting right after her. He got to her just when she reached the door and it wasn’t long before they stumbled into the bed. Yn sitting on top of him again.

Charles gripped her neck and brought her face down to his, smashing his lips to hers in a messy and needy kiss that Yn reciprocated with the same amount of passion. She rocked against him again, and this time her fingers were the ones between their bodies, she pushed his trunks down freeing his hard cook. Their lips were still attached to the others when Yn started pumping his shaft, her thumbs finding his head every once in a while, and her mouth swallowing all the dirty noises coming out of her husband. 

“Fuck, mon amour, just- oh fuck,” Charles started but lost track of his words when Yn tightened her hand on his base. 

“Yes?” 

“Don’t tease me,” he whimpered and she smiles victorious. It was a wonderful feeling to have Charles under her begging and whimpering to have her. It felt powerful. He needed her just as much as she needed him. 

Yn kissed his collarbone one last time and got into a seating position grinding his dick against her lips, gathering just enough slick to help him slip inside her. Which Charles did in a single movement. It earned a loud moan from both of them. 

“Oh, fuck- you feel so good, chérie,” he breathed.

“Charls,” Yn moaned starting a sequence of rotational movements. She rocked and ground on top of him and Charles raked his short nails on her back and thighs. She repeated her movements and they felt the ecstasy that angle caused. “Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop!” Yn almost screamed when Charles lifted his hips to find her moves. Her body shook with want. He felt bigger when she rode, and she could feel his pulsing dick so much better that way. It was fantastic. 

Charles gripped her breasts and took one nipple between his teeth teasing and playing with it while their bodies kept rutting against each other. Yn raked her fingers throw his brunette strands, gripping his face and directing his lips to her.

Her stomach tingled whilst Charles devoured her until her body started to tremble, “I’m coming,” Yn choked and Charles smirked lifting his lips again. His thrusts got sloppier and Yn knew from that fact that he wasn’t far behind her.

When the wave of pleasure washed over her, she let her body fall on top of his, her body dissolving into pleasure, but her hips still grinding waiting for Charles' turn. He grunts and moans and he’s about to pull out when Yn perches her body harder forcing them to stay in that position.

“Come inside me,” she pleads and lets out a string of curses in French. 

“You want me to let you have my seed?” Charles asks and Yn can only nod, her sensitive clit brushing against his pubic bone. “Huh? You want me to put a baby in you, mon amour?”

 Her eyes roll back and she cries feelings another orgasm approach, “Please, Charles!” 

“Tell me, chérie. Tell me you want me to stuff you full of my cum,” his voice is low, but his tone is set and straight, almost like an order and Yn obeys.

“Please, I want to- I want you to empty yourself inside me. I’ll have all your babies, love.” 

Charles bites her shoulders and sensually groaned on her ear when his orgasm finally came. It brought her second one along and they rode it together, gripping the other for dear life, moaning profanities, and love confessions. 

When the dizzy feeling of the orgasm started to fade, Yn sat up, a small smirk on her face, Charles was still buried inside her, she could feel their wetness mixing together between her legs, and the Monegasque could only smile blissfully at her. “So… a breeding kink, Charls?” 

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @formulakay3 @iloveyou3000morgan @fdl305 @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

⁕ I just got back from a shadowban so Tumblr is still a bit slow on delivering my stuff, that being said, it would be nice if you guys could not only like, but reblog this piece. Thank youuu!

Feel free to leave me a message or ask <3

[five-rivers]

Welcome Back Home

Phic Phight Fic for Avi!

Danny may have been a superhero.  He may have been annoying.  He may even have been ‘practically an adult.’  He was still Jazz’s little brother.  The one who had once begged her for play time and increasingly baffling milkshake combinations.  The one who helped her fight reanimated turkeys every Christmas.  The one who painstakingly researched what books to give her for her birthday.

So, it wasn't so much a choice to throw herself between him and her parents’ newest and most worrying weapon as it was a reflex.  If any thought crossed her mind while she dashed across the parking lot and into the path of the beam, it was either this is going to hurt or I hope I'm fast enough.

Well, it didn't hurt. It did drop her in the Ghost Zone. Immediately, She whirled, trying to find the portal.

Way back, when she and Danny had come clean about their respective secrets, Danny had sat her down for what he called his ‘Ghost Zone Survival Guide.’

“Okay,” he'd said, spinning in his spinny chair, “Ghost Zone survival, part one.  Don't go there.”

Tucker had snorted.  Jazz, who had taken out a fresh notebook and her special note-taking gel pens, glared at him.  

“I'm serious,” Danny had defended himself.  “The Zone isn't a good place for humans.”

“Why?”

“Do you want some reason other than it operating under different laws of physics and being full of super-powered people who don't care if they kill you by mistake?  The radiation, maybe?”

“Never mind.  Go ahead.”

“That's what I thought.  Anyway, if you wind up going through an unstable or temporary portal, the first thing you need to do is go back through that portal.  Like, forget about anything else that's going on.  Fights, escapes, your car, other people, get yourself back through.”

“That seems a bit callous,” Jazz had said.  

“Well, maybe.  But the Ghost Zone is huge, and natural portals and temporary portals aren't just unstable in space, they're unstable in time.”

“They could spit you out in my first life, the middle ages, a thousand years in the future, you name it,” Tucker had helpfully added.  

“First life?”

“Don't worry about it,” Danny had said.  

“Pharaonic Egypt,” Tucker had answered.  

“The point is,” Danny had continued loudly, “you don't want to take a chance with portals unless you know they're stable or have the Infi-Map.”

“Or time grandpa has your back.”

“Stop calling him that.”

“Who is–”

“It doesn't matter.  He doesn't have your back.  He doesn't have anyone's back.”

Tucker had made a noise of negation.  “He has your back.”

Danny had responded by beaning his friend with a pillow.  

Somehow, despite being genuinely informative, Jazz had come away from the ‘lesson’ With more questions than answers.  None of which were pertinent to her present situation.  

She turned on the spot again, surveying her surroundings in more detail.  It didn't help.  No matter which direction she turned in, there was no portal.  

So.  Step one: failed.  

Onto step two.  

“What if I can't get back through the portal though?” Jazz had asked.  

“Well, if you aren't being actively attacked–”

“You should definitely take care of that first if you are.”

“If you aren't under attack, see if you can spot any landmarks.  If you can see one, you'll at least have a general idea of where you are.  Mostly.”

“We're making a map,” Tucker had said, “but it sucks.”

“That's not a comment on our self-confidence or whatever,” Danny had said before Jazz could interject.  “Stuff moves in the Ghost Zone.  It's kind of like trying to make a map of the solar system.  If you're sitting on Jupiter, you know where the sun is, and you've got a pretty good idea about the inner planets, but unless you have a model you can put the time into, you're not going to have any idea where Pluto is.”

“And you wouldn't know the right time, either,” Jazz had said, contemplatively.  

“Exactly.  But landmarks are still good.  They'll give you your general area, at least.  And maybe what else is around, too.”  He'd given her a photo album full of Ghost Zone landmarks, then, and they'd spent the next half hour going through them.

Jazz was on a floating island.  It was medium-sized, perhaps a dozen or so acres square on this side, full of softly rolling hills covered with purple grass and pale green flowers.  As far as Jazz could tell, there wasn't anything else on it, although that didn't mean there wasn't.  It didn’t look like any place she'd seen or heard of.  

Offshore, the Zone was a moderately-familiar green-on-green.  Foggy ectoplasm and the lack of anything like a horizon made it difficult to judge distances.  

There were a few other islands Jazz could see.  Something like a mountain range, a floating sphere, and, just on the edge of her vision, a slightly more regular conglomeration of shapes that could have been a town.  

Bingo.  

“If you don't recognize anything, do your best to head towards civilization.”

Jazz had raised an eyebrow at that.  “Despite the super-powered people who don't care if I die?”

“She’s got you there, Danny my man.”

“Ugh, why couldn't Sam have been here?”

“Gasp, don't tell me you forgot the mega-ultra-turbo grounding already?  How could you?”

Danny had thrown another pillow at Tucker.  “You're so unhelpful.  Anyway, people are dangerous, but they're also the only place you're going to get directions.”

“And if I see something, how do I get there?  Considering everything is a flying island.”

“That’s a bit tricky.”

Jazz bounced on her the balls of her feet, staring down the green void between herself and her destination.  She’d never done this before, and despite Danny and Tucker’s attempts at an explanation, or even Sam’s later on…  Well, she felt like she should’ve convinced them to bring her to the Ghost Zone to practice.  

There was nothing she could do but try.  She closed her eyes and jumped into the air, believing she could fly with all her might.  Her feet hit the ground again.  Damn.  

One, two, three, she tried again, and again, and again, and then, finally, when she got mad, when she got frustrated, her feet left the ground and stayed off the ground.  She was flying, like only a human in the Ghost Zone could fly.  

She opened her eyes and looked over to the distant probably-town.  It was just as distant as before.  And now she was exhausted from jumping.  Both the jumping right now, and the jumping into the line of fire she’d done earlier.  

Well, no time like the present to get going.  She took off.  

The little details of Danny’s advice hadn’t stuck with her - he’d really waxed poetic - but she was still able to move forward.  She also spent a lot of time moving down whenever her concentration slipped.  Of course, she knew it wasn’t really down, thanks to those same conversations with Danny.  It was just the direction she perceived as down, or something like that.  

Danny liked flying like this.  Danny liked every method of flying to ever exist.  Jazz, personally, hated it.  A lot.  Every minute that passed, every time she slipped, she was terrified that she would go plunging into the murky depths of the Zone, never to be seen again.  

Danny hadn’t been wrong about the Ghost Zone not being good for humans.  

Thank goodness the town really was a town.  She wasn’t sure what she would have done if it wasn’t.  

“If I do get to civilization–”

“--or what passes for it–” Tucker had said.  

“--what do I do then?  Be polite, I assume, but what’s polite for ghosts?  What are the cultural touchstones?  The social norms?”

“Dunno,” Danny had said.  “It’s not like ghosts are just one big group that’s all the same.  But if you get to a group of ghosts, like, I don’t know a village or something, they’ll all probably be fairly tolerant.  To live together without fighting, you know?  Normal politeness will be fine.  Probably.  Assuming they can speak English.”

She managed a landing at the edge of the town.  She hit too hard, and her knees buckled.  A few ghosts stopped what they were doing - she didn’t know what, couldn’t spare the attention while flying - to stare at her.  With an effort she smiled at them.  Closed lips.  Many cultures considered smiles with teeth to be aggressive or rude.  

“Hi,” she said.  “I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Kio?  Kio ŝi diris?”

“Mi ne scias, mi ne parolas la francan.”

Ah.  She should’ve taken up Tucker’s offer to teach her some basic Esperanto.  Danny was never going to let her live this down.  

“Okay, so, what do I do if they don’t speak English?” she’d asked.  

“Get good at charades?  You probably won’t be able to get good directions without speaking the language - I have no idea how you’d do the portal in charades - but you can trade stuff.  Bargain, barter, whatever you want to call it.”

“For food?  Supplies?”

“Eh, not food, actually.  Ghost Zone food is mostly ectoplasm.  Not good for humans.”

“Then what?  Well, you’ll think it’s crazy, but…”

Somehow or another, she got the idea of marketplace and trade across to the ghosts.  Apparently the Esperanto word was related to the English.  Cousins.  Brothers.  Whatever, it didn’t matter.  

What did matter was what she was going to trade to the ghosts.  All she had was her purse, and for a teenage girl, she traveled light.  She had her wallet, parking change, a small handful of coupons, number two pencils, a pencil sharpener, a pen, various hygiene products, lipstick, laser, lipstick laser, sunscreen, the universal pocket psychology guide, granola bars, a screwdriver, a couple of bolts from the Peeler - if only she kept that in her purse - spiked bracelet from Spike, phone, and, okay, she didn’t pack that light.  There should be something in all this that the ghosts here would probably like.

The ghosts who had seen her less-than-stellar landing ushered her to a colorful, cloth-covered stall, the contents of which looked like the detritus of a million flea markets.  The ghost… manning it?  Ghosting it?  Haunting it?  What was the terminology in this case?  Whatever.  The ghost at the stall was pale green and nondescript except for the swathes of polka-dotted cloth wrapped around their body.  

They stared at her with wide eyes.  “Ĉu tio estas homo?  Viva homo?”

She smiled, forcefully.  That didn’t sound like a hello, but she’d take it.  “Hello,” she said.  “Do you have any boxes?”  She made the shape of a box with her hands.  

“The Box Ghost?  You’re saying that if I can’t get directions, my next step is to try to summon the Box Ghost?”

“Hey, believe it or not I’ve got an agreement with a lot of the regulars.  If they bring back lost humans, they get, um.  A nonlethal free day.  In Amity Park.  I can get you a list.  And even if you end up in a weird time, like, before I made the deal or something, the Box Ghost is pretty easy.  Worst case scenario, you can even let Walker catch you.  He always sends humans back.”

Jazz sat on the edge of the town, a cardboard box in hand, purse lighter by a novelty pencil sharpener and the spare screws and bolts.  “Oh, great and powerful and completely terrifying Box Ghost,” she said, feeling ridiculous.  “I have an offering for your awful, terribleness.  It’s cubical and cardboard-ical.  Cardboard.  Whatever.”  She sighed.  “This isn’t going to work, is it?”

“DID SOMEONE CALL UPON THE FRIGHTENING AND FRIGHTFUL BOX GHOST, MASTER OF RECTANGULAR CARDBOARD PACKAGES?”

Jazz shrieked and almost fell off the island.  

The Box Ghost blinked down at her.  “Beware?” he said.

“Hi,” said Jazz.  “A gift?”  She held up the box.  

“THE CARDBOARD IS MINE!”  He leaped on the box and held it to his chest like a baby.  “What do you want from the HORRIFYING BOX GHOST?”

“So, uh, I know you have a deal with my brother?”

“WHOMST?”

“My brother,” repeated Jazz.  “Danny.  Phantom?”

The Box Ghost stared at her blankly.  

“To get humans back to Amity Park?”

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT KNOW THE REALM OF WHICH YOU SPEAK?”

That wasn’t good.  The opposite, really.  If the Box Ghost didn’t recognize Danny’s name…

“What if I am in the past?” Jazz had asked.

“Get back to Earth anyway, and survive.  Find a way to get a message to the present.  Between the Infi-Map and, um, other contacts I have–”

“Time grandpa,” Tucker interjected.  

“I should be able to go get you if I know where and when you are.  But I need to know when and where you are.”

Then, Jazz had asked why he couldn't just pick her up at the exact moment she'd arrived, if he was going to time travel anyway, and that had spurred a migrane-inducing argument about paradoxes.  Jazz had gotten the impression that the real reason was more along the lines of ‘Danny isn’t allowed to have any more paradoxes’ than ‘the universe won't let paradoxes exist.’

Jazz smiled thinly.  “Can you get me to Earth?” she asked.  “Please?  It’ll be worth your while.”

“Worth the while of the GREAT BOX GHOST?”

“Yep.  It might take a while, but you’ll get more of those.”  She nodded towards the box in the ghost’s arms.  “Consider it an investment in future, um, fear.”

“FEAR?”

“Yes.  As in, um, fear me?”

“No, you shall FEAR ME!”

“Exactly,” said Jazz.  “Just like that.  Can you do it?  Or… is it beyond the powers of even the Box Ghost?”

“NOTHING IS BEYOND THE BOX GHOST!  I AM EXTREME IN EVERY WAY!  THE BOX GHOST WILL SHOW THE STRANGE GIRL WITH GIFTS THE WAY TO HIS SECRET PORTAL!”

At least something was going right.  “Thanks,” Jazz said.  “That sounds great.  I really appreciate it.  Where is it?”

“FOLLOW ME!”  The Box Ghost paused.  “AND FEAR ME!”

He flew off, and Jazz struggled to keep up.  Luckily, the Box Ghost was courteous enough to stop for her every once in a while.  The flight seemed to go on forever, but, eventually, they came to a stop in front of a twisting, spluttering portal.  

“Does this really lead to the Earth?” Jazz asked.  

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT LIE!”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to imply that.  It’s just… is it always so sparky?”

“IT IS UNSTABLE!  ONLY THE BOX GHOST IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO USE IT!”

Which meant that it could spit her out anywhere, at any time.  But at least she’d be on Earth, AKA somewhere she could eat the food and drink the water.  

“It doesn’t come out above an ocean, does it?”

“THERE ARE NO BOXES IN THE OCEAN.  THE BOX GHOST HAS NO USE FOR IT.”

“What about crab pots?” asked Jazz.

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH THE COUNCILS OF CRABS.”

Jazz… wasn’t going to examine that too closely.  She braced herself and flew into the portal.  The transition this time wasn’t the smooth, blink-and-you’re-in-another-dimension it had been with her parents’ weapon.  It had turbulence, and lots of it.  It was like being in a washing machine.  Or a blender.  A really fast blender.  One that pulsed and shook and sang a song while it was at it.  

It spit her out ten feet above ground.  It wouldn’t have been a problem for a ghost, but for a human…  Well, at least she didn’t break any bones.  Instead, she laid, winded, on the ground.  Tall grass framed her vision on all sides.  The sun was hot overhead.  Which was… less than ideal.  It had been Autumn this morning.  However long from now that was.  

Jazz rubbed her temples.  All she had to do was send a message, satisfy Danny’s no-paradox rule, and then she’d be home.  Until then, she would survive.  She refused to saddle Danny with the guilt associated with her disappearing.  

She got up.  Looked around.  There was a dirt road.  She staggered over to it and flipped a coin to decide whether to go left or right.  Left it was.  

She grew steadier as she walked, but the heat was punishing.  She took off her sweater and was tempted to take her shirt off, too.  She was wearing a sports bra underneath.  It wasn’t like it’d be indecent.  

Unless she’d been dropped into the eighteen hundreds.  Best not to risk it.  

The dirt road became gravel, became poorly-paved asphalt, merged onto another, bigger road… A road with a recognizable name.  Jazz wasn’t that far away from Amity Park.  She could probably even call… home…

“I’m stupid,” she said out loud.  She pulled out her phone.  No service.  Typical.  She kept walking.  And walking.  And walking.  

And then she saw the smoke.  Right where Amity Park should be.  She ran, then.  

She crested the hill, passed the Welcome to Amity Park sign - something was off about it, but she didn’t stop to try and see what it was.  She hit the top of the next hill and stopped.  

That– That wasn’t Amity Park.  At least, it wasn’t her Amity Park.  The buildings were bigger.  Shinier.  Whiter, even.  The logo for the GIW sat proudly on one of the tallest ones.

And so many of them were smashed.  Burning.  Green blurs swirled and fought with white ones.  She sat down.

“And what if I wind up in the future instead?”

“I don't know, hope the rest of us don't cause the apocalypse before you get back?”

There was one more explosion, and then a high-pitched wail, a ghostly wail, threw all of the shapes back and away.  The white ones didn’t come back.  

Jazz… wasn’t sure what to do.  She watched.  She waited.  

And then a familiar shape appeared out of the air in front of her.  It was Danny, but… not.  He was thinner.  Sharper.  There was silver and ice in his hair, and blood and ectoplasm on his face.  “Hi, Jazz,” he said, smiling sheepishly despite the dark gleam in his eyes.  “Well… it isn’t the apocalypse, so…”  He spread his hands to either side, and the GIW building behind him fell over.  “Welcome home?”

[starlazergazer]

Princess

Pairing: Anakin x reader

Summary: Anakin Skywalker with the unique ability to get under the senators skin is assigned as her protection for an upcoming speech on the senate floor.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 6k

A/N: Honestly just thought it’d be fun to write some protective Anakin stuff with some cute banter and here we are so I hope you enjoy!

You dashed down the wide hallway as fast as your heels would allow you, flipping anxiously through your pages of notes trying to make as many facts stick in your brain as possible before you reached your meeting. The loud click of your heel against the hard floor every time you took a step calmed you slightly in it’s steadiness though nothing could fully take the edge off of the panic coursing through you as you headed into a meeting to prepare you for what was to be the most important speech on the senate floor of your career.

Not even looking ahead you rounded the corner, hearing the soft squeak of your head of securitie’s shoes from behind you as he briskly walked to keep up with you, trying to commit as many abstract numbers to memory as possible.

“Senator”

A single word broke through every thought running through your head, your entire body freezing at the sound of a familiar voice calling after you.

Spinning on your heel you made eye contact with the one and only Anakin Skywalker as he leaned casually against the wall just beside the corner you had just turned, apparently having walked past him without even noticing, if only he had done the same.

“Skywalker” you greeted with a curt nod, already spinning back on your heel and gazing back on your notes “I’m afraid I’m late to a meeting and don’t have time for whatever this is right now”

“Oh that’s okay” he called back after you and you could hear the smugness in his tone as he talked “from what I hear we will have plenty of time together in the coming days”

At this you froze again, spinning around to see Anakin had not moved from his position against the wall, clearly expecting his words to have such an affect on you as they did, halting you in your place. “And what does that mean?”

He smiled sweetly back at you, pushing himself dramatically off the wall and taking his time to stalk towards you, the smugness dripping off of him “Word from the council is that I am to be your Jedi security for your speech”

Again you were spinning on your heel, picking up speed again as you made your way to the meeting room neither in the mood nor having time for Anakin’s antics at this moment “I think I would know if I was assigned a Jedi guard”

You heard his shoes echo in the hallway as he sped up to fall into step with Cody behind you “You might want to talk to your head of security about that princess”

You halted in your steps, Anakin not missing a beat as he stopped on a dime too behind you, as you whirled around to face Cody, his guilty look telling you all you needed to know. “Cody, you didn’t”

“I didn’t know they would assign Padawan Skywalker to you when I asked” he defended himself quickly as you huffed, turning to continue your walk.

“Doesn’t matter when I didn’t need a guard in the first place” you sighed back in response, leading the two of them around another curve.

“As I’ve told you senator we need to take these death threats seriously” Cody called after you, his voice taking on the same serious tone it always did when lecturing you on safety “I promised your parents I’d keep you safe and that is what I intend to do”

In response you just shook your head softly, letting a small chuckle escape you as you walked “Using my parents worry against me like that – that’s a low blow Cody”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he responded just as you approached the door through which your meeting was to be held “If you would just listen to me then I wouldn’t have to Y/N”

You shook your head and paused in front of the door, spinning around the face the two men behind you “alright boys this shouldn’t take more than an hour I’ll see you both then”

“Very funny princess” Anakin cut in immediately, crossing his arms over his chest “we’re going in with you”

“Alright” you rolled your eyes, hugging your notes against your chest as you glared back at him “let’s get one thing straight you work for me here so if I say I meet you after then I meet you after. Cody can come in if he wants”

“Alright let’s get one thing straight” Anakin was quick to repeat you with a smug smile “I have been tasked with your safety so if I say I go where you go that means I go where you go”

You just glared back at him, clenching your jaw in frustration at everything at the moment. Anakin Skywalker held the unique ability to get under your skin like no other. Already this week was to be a pivotal one in your career, this was a meeting set with the sole intention of preparing you for that, you did not need Anakin Skywalker standing over you during it. He was nothing but a distraction.

But unfortunately, you were late and did not have time to argue with him.

One final glare at Cody who simply held up his hands in surrender before you turned back to Anakin “Fine but you stay in the corner, and you stay quiet”

“As you wish your highness”

And with a loud groan you opened the door and walked in, watching as thankfully Anakin and Cody broke immediately to the edges of the room silently.

Maybe you could make it through this week afterall.

-

The meeting had gone alright. You left with about a million notes on your speech which would be good if only each note didn’t directly contradict the others. Everyone at the meeting was on the same side, each fighting for the same thing though each had their own version of it making your job of explaining your position to the senate very difficult to do.

You could feel your legs going numb from sitting at your desk for so long, trying to fit everything that everyone wanted into your speech but still make it make sense. A part of you had to admit your mind had turned to mush hours ago but you couldn’t give up until you had it figured out, everyone was counting on you and you could feel the expectations like weights on your shoulders.

“Do you ever sleep?” The exact voice you didn’t want to hear sounded from in front of you and looking up from your papers you saw the familiar jedi sitting in one of the chairs in front of your desk, not exactly sure when he had gotten there.

“I vaguely remember what that is” you responded with a tired sigh, rubbing a hand over your face as your eyes drooped ever so slightly.

Anakin chuckled back in response, lounging back in his chair “I recommend you become better acquainted with it. Looks like you could use some”

“Thanks” You rolled your eyes, forcing your posture straighter as you looked back down at your notes, picking up your pen once again “But I have work to do, if you’re tired you can sleep though. I won’t hold it against you”

Anakin was silent for a moment in response, the only sound in the room your pen scratching against the paper as you crossed out the sentence you had written just moments ago, only now realizing how ridiculous it sounded, before he broke it “you know I’ve seen you speak to the senate before”

You paused your writing, looking up through your lashes at him, curious to see where he was going with this. “I’d assumed you had”

“I just mean you have a natural charisma and ability to think of your feet” he explained to your surprise, your eyebrows drawing as you waited for the punchline, seeing nothing but honesty behind his eyes.

“I-uh” you stuttered slightly, “thank you”

Anakin smiled softly in response “I just don’t see why you have any reason to worry so much about this one. You’re a good speaker”

Again you were drawing a blank on response, not having expected this softness, this genuiness from Anakin. “It’s just-“ and a part of you struggled to return it, struggled to admit to him your worries “we need more people on our side, I need them to hear me speak and understand the urgency with which we must act. People’s lives are on the line and in this moment it’s my responsibility to make the senate act. So this speech needs to be nothing short of perfect”

“And I don’t doubt it will be” Anakin’s response came quickly as he shifted forward in the chair, his elbows going to his knees “but I also know that you’re tired and anything you write now won’t be nearly as good as what you write tomorrow after a few hours of sleep”

And though you didn’t want to admit it you knew he was right. You had been trying to rewrite the same section for an hour now and you were fried. You needed a break.

So with a defeated sigh you stood up, stretching your arms above your head and relishing the pops that came from your joins as you stretched them out “yeah alright”

“Never thought I’d see the day the great senator L/N agrees with me” Anakin laughed as he stood too, following you out of your office.

“Don’t push your luck Skywalker”

-

Anakin took longer to join you and Cody for breakfast, you barely acknowledging him as he walked into the room as you scribbled more notes on your speech as you ate. Not yet ready to admit that Anakin was right, your writing was better after some sleep, but undoubtedly appreciative of his suggestion.

“So what’s on the schedule for today?” Anakin asked, his voice still a little gruff from sleep as he filled his plate “just work on the speech in your office, right?”

“No senator Organa just asked for a meeting” you muttered not looking up from your writing “We leave for that in about an hour”

Anakin just shook his head, still giving most of his attention to the food as he spoke “absolutely not”

Your writing halted, your gaze snapping up to him with drawn brows “what? Why not?”

“Could be a trap” he answered simply as he put his first forkful of food in his mouth.

“a trap?” you couldn’t help but laugh, sending your gaze to Cody across the table “from senator Organa? I’ve known the man my whole life”

“Sure but was it senator Organa who told you about this meeting or someone who works for him?”

Again, you eyed Cody suspiciously, the man sending you back the same look before you responded “It was someone who works for him”

“Someone you have seen before?” Anakin asked it what could be described as a bored tone, egging on your frustration as he drew out his objection.

“No but Senator Organa has lots of people who work under him; he is a senator” you defended.

“So to clarify senator Organa did not ask for this meeting, a random person came to your door and told you to meet them privately?”

“Senator Organa sent someone who works for him to me to arrange a meeting” you repeated through clenched teeth “something he has done before”

“And now you have death threats hanging over your head”

“I usually have death threats hanging over my head” you countered.

Anakin froze at that, his gaze whipping around to meet Cody’s as his tone grew serious “is that true?”

Cody looked between you and Anakin nervously, clearly not happy to have been caught between the two of you “the senator if very good at making enemies”

“How long?” Anakin asked, his voice raising slightly in anger and he stared between you and Cody. The two of you sharing a look before you answered.

“A few months?”

“You have been receiving death threats for a few months and no one told me” He glared between the two of you again and it was as if you were being scolded by a teacher, feeling yourself growing smaller on the spot “why speak up now?”

This he directed at Cody and even he cowered under the Jedi’s gaze slightly “these were the first to mention a time and place. The rest were just general threats”

“Oh and general threats to the senators life aren’t worth your time to investigate?” he practically spat at Cody prompting you to stand up, feeling the need to defend your head of security.

“I ordered him not to, in fact I ordered him not to this time as well, so Cody is the only reason you are here now. If you are going to be mad at anyone, be mad at me.”

“Oh I am” he responded back, turning his gaze back to you as he stood as well “that is why you’re not going to that meeting today”

“I am going to that meeting today” you countered “senator organa is my friend and I will not blow him off simply because of your superstition”

“You’re not going to that meeting today” Anakin repeated himself, leaning forward onto the table, his face inching closer to yours as he spoke “and if I had it my way you wouldn’t be making that speech on the senate floor tomorrow”

You clenched your jaw back at him, trying your best to contain your anger, trying your best to calm yourself enough to try and compromise with Anakin. “What if we went to Senator Organa’s rooms now?” you asked, leaning back slightly, trying to ease the tension in the room “We can ask him then if it was him who sent the man or not”

At this Anakin leaned back from the table too, his arms crossing over his chest as he thought it through before reluctantly agreeing “Fine, we can go talk to Senator Organa”

“Good” you tried to keep as much of your triumphant smile off your face as you sat down, returning back to your food. “we’ll leave after breakfast”

Anakin just grunted in response, sitting back down at the table “least you could do is not seem so happy about it”

You couldn’t have fought the grin from growing on your face if you tried.

-

Your position now nearly mirrored the one you were in yesterday. You leading Anakin and Cody through the halls, a steady click of your heels against the floor followed by the more muffled tones of their steps just behind you. You walking as quickly towards Senator Organa’s rooms as you could, more than ready to prove to Anakin that he was wrong.

“Do you always have to walk this fast princess?” he called from behind you making you roll your eyes as you rounded the corner.

“If you can’t keep up you’re more than welcome to stay back at the rooms” you heard a strained chuckle from Cody he tried to keep in, the man more than used to your hurried pace.

“I’m just saying what’s the usual expression, stop and smell the-“ he froze on the spot, his words dying in the air as you started to approach Senator Organa’s door, prompting you to turn your head and raise an eyebrow at him.

“Wait let me go in first” any teasing in his tone had dropped completely now, his tone going fully serious making you want to roll your eyes.

“These are Senator Organa’s rooms it’s fine-“ you started to object though he cut you off.

“Y/N I’m serious, let me go in first”

And it was his hard serious tone you were used to, one that meant he was a jedi on jedi business not to be messed with, but there was an undercurrent of softness to it, almost pleading, that was what made you pause.

And he called you your name.

Not princess, not your highness, not senator, but your name. You weren’t sure the last time he had done that.

So despite everything you just nodded, letting him slip around you to the door, not even knocking before he opened it and stalked into the room, one hand on his lightsaber.

And though a part of your brain protests that he was just kidding, trying to rile you up for fun, that he wasn’t serious. Another part of you could feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, a small ringing in your ears, another part of you didn’t want Anakin going in there alone.

But you waited outside the room, your eyes on Cody as he kept one hand on the blaster at his side, his eyes never leaving yours as Anakin stalked into the room.

Then you heard the jedi swear from inside of the room followed by something you were actually meant to hear “Don’t come in here”

And you could see Cody’s eyes widen in warning, see him predict what you were going to do before you did it, but you were too fast for him.

You ducked under his arm as it came up to grab you, easily sweeping through the doorway into the familiar rooms.

Anakin stood in the center of the room, his gaze fixed off into the corner, at what you just couldn’t quite see yet.

“No Y/N don’t” and you could hear the pleading in his tone again, could see him walking towards you ready to push you out of the room, but still you pushed forward, walking until what Anakin had been looking at finally came into focus.

It was the man from this morning, the man who had asked for a meeting on Senator Organa’s behalf, the man you had spoken to no more than an hour before, dead on the floor.

“Is he-“ it was all the words you could get out, feeling the panic start to rise in you, feeling the bile start to rise in your throat.

“Come on” and Anakin was there again, his hands going to your shoulders, softly guiding you back towards the door. Your feet were delayed in their response, struggling to keep up with your body as it moved back towards the door, your eyes never breaking from the man’s body in front of you.

You barely registered that Cody was there as you came back out to the hallway, stumbling for the wall next to the door, desperate for something steady to cling too as your body seemed to hum, practically vibrating on the spot.

You stared blankly out into the distance as you heard your heartbeat in your head, could feel it going wild as you started to struggle to breath, just not able to get enough air down your throat.

In the background you could hear Anakin calling your name, not fully recognizing that he was talking to you until two hands came to either side of your face, physically drawing your gaze to meet his.

“Princess I need you to breathe” and there was that damned nickname again. And though you hated when he called you that you had to admit there was some comfort in the familiar, something breaking the spell just enough that you could hear him.

You forced yourself to slow down, forced yourself to take a slow deep breath before you reached up to his wrists and pulled his hands from your cheeks.

“Is he-“ and again you couldn’t get all the words out, couldn’t bring yourself to ask the full question, though Anakin didn’t need it.

“He is” he nodded gravely, letting you just hold onto his arms for a moment as you focused on breathing, getting the rhythm back under control before it finally hit you, your brain finally calming enough to make the next logical leap.

“Senator Organa is he-“ Again the words didn’t come all the way out but Anakin was already shaking his head, his hands coming to your shoulders as if to physically stop the panic from rising in you once again.

“I don’t know yet” he admitted, eye contact breaking briefly to go to Cody just next to you before coming back to meet yours “But I will find out, you go with Cody, go back to your rooms do not open the door for anyone. I’ll go see where senator Organa is, make sure he is okay”

“You promise?” You asked him before your head could even catch up, before you realized you had basically just agreed to leave the situation and let Anakin go alone. Though admittedly for the first time you were glad not to be the person everyone relied on to fix something. You were glad Anakin could now be that person.

“I promise” he repeated with a soft squeeze to your arm, giving you one last reassuring look before straightening back up to his full height, turning to Cody without letting your arm fully go.

“Straight back to the room, open the door for no one but me” he instructed.

“yes Jedi” Cody’s voice was about as serious as you had ever heard it, nodding at the Jedi’s orders before extending an arm to you.

Giving Anakin one last look you broke from his grasp and walked into Cody’s, your head of securities arm going protectively around you as you crashed into his side, noting that his hand never strayed from the hilt of his blaster as he led the two of you back down the hallway towards your rooms.

Your pace slower than it had ever been.

-

You had thought you wouldn’t be able to do anything for the rest of the day. After seeing the body in Senator Organa’s room, you had shut down, could feel your brain just stop, your body freeze, no thoughts running through your head other than you had just talked to him, he was just alive.

Instead as Cody brought you back to your room you made immediately for your office, sitting behind your desk, ignoring Cody as he hovered in the doorway, eyes roaming around the room.

Looking down at the marked-up speech you had spent so long on your eyes glossed over the words. They were elegant, poised, perfectly political, trying to persuade others to your side through half truths and careful omissions. It was garbage with an elegant flourish.

You crumpled the paper in your fist and tossed it into the trash, grabbing another piece and letting your hand fly across it with quick steady words. And though you knew what you wrote now wouldn’t be perfect, wouldn’t be better said than what you had written before, you knew what you wrote now would be passionate, it would be honest.

The time flew by and you made no note of it, not pausing for anything you just wrote, a stead stream of consciousness onto the page as you demanded attention rather than pleaded for it, demanded respect and help for the people of the republic because that was who you served, not other members of the senate.

You hadn’t noticed Anakin walk in, had noticed him pause before your desk, hands crossed behind his back, until he cleared his throat.

The pen froze against the page as your eyes snapped up to his noting his somber expression though not letting it allow your brain to jump to any conclusions. “senator Organa?”

“He’s okay” Anakin was quick to assure you in a soft voice “wasn’t even aware of anything that had happened”

“Good” you all but whispered, not taking any more time before your gaze dropped back to the page and you resumed writing.

“How are you senator?” Anakin’s voice sounded again though you didn’t look up this time, didn’t halt your writing.

“Busy” you answered honestly knowing it wasn’t the answer he would want, not really caring in this moment.

“The speech?” Anakin tried again, you could hear the chair groan slightly as he sat down in it “still trying to polish it?”

“I scrapped the speech” you answered simply, not explaining yourself further.

Anakin froze on the spot, his eyes going to Cody’s in the corner who shared the same bewildered expression. “You scrapped your speech?”

“Yes” another simple answer, another attempt to get him to leave you alone.

“Why would you do that?” Anakin asked, shifting forward in his chair desperately trying to draw your attention to him. “You’ve been working on that speech for weeks, it was good it was-“

“It wasn’t enough” you cut him off, finally looking up at him with a hard expression, the pen freezing in your hand though you refused to drop it “It was soft and political and what is going on, what I’m trying to do here matters. I can’t tiptoe around the issue, can’t spare a senator’s feelings, I need them to listen to me, and that speech won’t do it”

“But surely the speech you’ve had over a dozen senator’s opinions on is the better one to present-“

“People are dying Anakin” you cut him off again, glaring down at the jedi from your desk “That man died because of what we are trying to do here, and I cannot let his death be in vain. I will not let his death be in vain”

You hated the soft, sad expression Anakin was giving you in that moment. The pity in his eyes showing that he could see right through you, right through your anger, right through this façade you had built up before him. You were used to Anakin’s anger, used to his reckless decisions, used to him doing anything and everything for what he thought was right. Why the pity now that you were attempting to do the same?

“His death isn’t on you Y/N”

And there was that name again, there was that stupid argument you had been having with yourself since seeing his body. Because no matter which way you spun it how could it not be?

“He was sent to silence me. Sent to make sure I didn’t speak today. Least I can do is prove they were right to be scared of me”

Anakin didn’t say anything at first, didn’t comment, just stared at you, eyes dancing back and forth between yours as if looking for something within them before speaking “okay. You have three hours before you’re expected on the senate floor. Make them count”

-

You paced anxiously back and forth in front of the door to the senate floor, waiting for your name to be called, waiting for your chance.

Your new speech was clutched tightly in your hand and for the first time since you had written the words you doubted them, doubted yourself. You were a politician, flowery language was your weapon, it was what you used to persuade people to your side and now more than ever, persuasion was what you needed.

No matter how much passion you spoke with out there you weren’t getting anyone to your side if you were screaming at them. And that’s exactly what this new speech did.

“You’re going to do fine” Anakin spoke from just beside the door with what could be described as an amused smile on his face were he not so clearly on edge.

He clearly was trying to be relaxed, leaning nonchalantly against the wall, arms crossed casually across his chest. Beneath it, however, you could see the rigidity in his posture, every muscle of his tense, his eyes repeatedly scanning the area.

You just offered him a small nod in response, continuing your pacing, running through your speech over and over in your head.

“I know you rewrote the speech and everything” Anakin drew your attention back to him, a hand reaching into his robes as he spoke “but just in case the first one had something good I grabbed this” and he pulled out a small, folded stack of papers.

You could see the wrinkles in the paper from where he held it out, knowing instantly what it was. “My speech” you breathed out, eyes snapping up to his. “You found it”

“Figured I’d grab it just in case” He shrugged as if it were nothing, offering you a small but comforting smile as you slowly grabbed the pages from him, unfolding the paper, relieved to see all of your work there.

“Thank you” the words came out in almost a whisper as your eyes scanned the page, already working to commit the words to memory “Anakin this means a lot”

And you watched his face pause for a moment, his mouth dropping ever so slightly open before growing into a grin “You’re welcome, Y/N”

You thumbed the pages, scanning as much as possible before you heard your name echo faintly from inside, a light on the outside of the door signally it was about to open. You walked to the center of the door, giving yourself a moment to set your posture, shoulders back, head held high, a deep breath to fill your chest.

You sent Anakin a look from the side of your eye, putting as much confidence into yourself as possible despite how little you felt.

“Good luck senator” Anakin sent you a small nod before the sound of the door opening drew both of your attention.

And the senate floor opened in front of you, your own platform waiting to take you to the center of the room.

You gave yourself a moments pause, one last second out of the senators eyes before you walked through the door, a rambunctious applause greeting you like a wall of sound.

You gave an appreciative small bow as you made your way towards the platform, steps from it before you heard your name being called from behind you.

Glancing back you saw Anakin crouched slightly, one arm extended to you, his other hand holding the hilt of his lightsaber.

You turned more fully towards him, eyebrows drawn in confusion, barely able to hear him over the sounds of the applause.

“Y/N come back something is-“

And Anakin didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before the explosion sounded.

You’d heard it before you felt it, the large boom, the light washing the walls in front of you, then the force of the blast hitting your back, throwing you forward before you could even contemplate what was happening.

You saw Anakin lunge forward, saw his outstretched arms try and catch you but he was just too far away, just a bit too slow before you hit the floor.

-

The first thing to hit your eyes when you opened them was the bright white med lights prompting you to groan and immediately shut them again, your hands coming to them to try and rub out the green shadows they burned onto your eyelids.

“And just when I was getting used to the sound of silence you just had to wake up” the familiar teasing voice drew you attention to the side of your bed to see Anakin, lounging in a chair.

“We both know you’d get bored of silence in seconds” you rasped out, groaning as you tried to sit up, sending Anakin a thankful nod as he immediately got to his feet to help you.

“How’re you feeling princess?” He asked, the teasing tone dropping from his voice but it still stayed light and easy, genuinely wanting to know.

“I’m okay” you answered immediately, Anakin quickly sending you a look that had you changing your answer for a more honest one “My head kind of hurts”

“Let me see if I can get the droid to give you something for that” he was immediately making for the door, giving you little time to react before he was springing into action.

“No Ani I’m fine” you called after him, grabbing his hand before he could get any further.

Your hand on his to stop him clearly wasn’t needed as he stopped immediately at the sound of your voice, turning on the spot to face you again, his expression a mix of awe and delight “what did you just call me?”

You could immediately feel yourself go on the defensive, trying to retract your hand but Anakin held it in place, eyes staring down into yours waiting for you to answer “Ani – figured you’ve got a million nicknames for me you need one of your own” you explained sheepishly “do you not like it?”

“No I-“ he paused, sitting back down in his chair but bringing it up closer to the bed, fully encapsulating your hand in both of his “No I like it”

You could immediately feel the blush rising up to your cheeks no matter how hard you tried to stop it, breaking eye contact with Anakin to try and hide it.

“I’m sorry about your speech” He drew your attention back to him “all that work for nothing”

You shook your head at that “It’s okay. If anything they’re paying attention to me now more than ever. Should really come in handy when I try again”

“Try again” he sighed out though you knew he wasn’t surprised by your words “of course you’d try again”

“Now more than ever I have the eyes and ears of the entire senate” you cried out with a small laugh “I can’t let an opportunity like that go to waste”

And with a dramatic sigh Anakin’s head rested on top of your entwined hands as he stared up at you, sparkles in his eyes and a small smile on his face he just couldn’t rid himself of “you princess will be the death of me”

“That’s okay now that there has been a genuine attack on my life they’ll give me an even better Jedi guard” you teased, relishing the way Anakin simply hummed back at you with a raised brow and a soft smile “Do you think Obi-wan’s available?”

[guardevoir]

Fiber arts update: I finally finished the accursed yarn for the goddamn weaving project!

(this also counts as 100 days of art, 35/100 on the grounds of fiber arts still being art. I think I deserve that after the annoyance this project put me through so far...)

The white stuff is 50/50 silk/polwarth, the blue stuff is 30/70 silk/merino, and the grey one is 20/20/60 yak hair/silk/polwarth.

The yak hair was lovely to work with, the merino was frankly just a bit boring, and the polwarth/silk was the actual bane of my entire existence for months. I will never manage to un-fuzz my room after the goddamn silk tornado that fiber let loose, and there were a bunch of little silk clumps in there that made the spinning experience just deeply un-fun. Ngl, I never enjoy spinning 50% silk blends, and I do not know why I keep doing it.

(it's silky and shiny and has so much drape, that's why)

Anyway, it's on my loom now:

I was so happy about how well the warping went, until I realized that I did it backwards and spent so very long fixing that. Worked out alright in the end, though.

top-down view (sideways, so I don't stretch your dash more than needed) for a better idea of the colors:

I wish the blue wasn't getting quite so overpowered by the relatively warm grey, but using more exciting colors would've meant using more boring fibers, and in the end I wanted to make it fancy more than I wanted to make it colorful.

I had a pretty difficult call to make with the white weft yarn; that's a 6-ply; I had planned for 4-ply worsted-spun warp and 3-ply woolen-ish weft to account for my habit of long-draw singles always coming out a bit chunkier, but the polwarth/silk didn't quite cooperate and the yarn was generally looking kind of wispy and sad, so I loosely cabled it... which made it chunkier than the other weft yarn, but I just decided to own it. It does add some sorely needed contrast and structure, I think.

[kyleraynermybeloved]

One Of A Kind -Chapter Three

Pairing: Kyle Rayner x Batsis!Reader Summary: Meeting a new friend and secrets being spilled is certainly one interesting way to spend a day. Warnings: Pregnancy, morning sickness, swearing, Christmas mention, fluff, slight angst Word Count: 4.7k A/N: The beginning is a mess but I hope y'all enjoy it! I'm going to pump out some more stuff before I go on vacation in August! OOAK Masterlist

“So, what originally brought you to our humble abode?” You placed the grocery bag on the counter in front of you. The three of you were still standing in the kitchen, a little closer now the initial shock washed over.

“You can thank this one over here. Left his comms on when once he came back, fortunately for him no one was listening, well besides from me. I caught everything up until you went deep into your history before the connection finally ended.” Guy sent a look to Kyle, shaking his head slowly. “Now, I figured I should probably meet this mystery person I’ve heard so very little about for myself. I was lucky you two live together, otherwise that would’ve made my trip a little harder.”

You let out a long sigh, mentally reminding yourself to have a talk with your apparent careless husband. “Okay, I can get behind that.”

Kyle sent a nervous look towards you, shuffling closer hesitantly. “Darling, honey pie, light of my life, you’re taking this all very calmly. Does that, perhaps, mean you’re not angry?”

“Oh, I’m furious with you,” You tried to keep your voice steady as you moved away from his reach. His face dropped slightly at the motion. “But I’ve also kept things from you that I should have told you sooner, so I guess this puts us on some slight even footing. And just so you know, this does not mean you’re in the clear. This is my life you had been reckless with, the life I tried so hard to keep safe. If this was anyone else, we both would be in more danger than you know.”

Tears were pricking your eyes and the nausea was setting in, your stomach fluttered as the rush of emotions became overwhelming. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go throw up and when I come back I expect the both of you to be ready to leave for lunch. This is non negotiable.”

You turned on your heel and dashed to the guest bathroom, slamming the door shut as you barely made it to the toilet before the contents of your stomach spilled out. You whimpered as the heaving became too much all too quickly. Resting your forehead against the cool seat felt heavenly for your heated skin, waiting for the next wave to come. Fortunately it never came. The room no longer felt like it was spinning so that was a win.

After a few beats nothing else came up, the queasiness had eased up some.

The knock on the door startled you. You called out weakly for them to come in, you were taking your chances on it being Kyle since Guy had looked like he wanted the Earth to swallow him up whole when you left.

The door opened and you were met with the familiar green eyes you’ve come to long for and love. His face was stoic but quickly softened at your crumpled figure.

“How are you feeling?” Kyle spoke softly, kneeling down, gently rubbing your back.

“Like shit,” you said flatly, leaning into him with a grumble. “I think this week takes the cake of being terrible. It feels infinitely worse than the weeks before. I don’t understand how someone can be this sick during every waking moment of the day?”

“Do you want to stay home for lunch then? I could send Guy out.” He suggested.

You hummed, doing a mental check of your physical state. “No, I think it would be better to go out. I’m going to feel sick regardless so might as well make the most of it.”

“Okay,” He blinked, eyes filled with emotion. You could tell he wanted to say something so you sat patiently for him until he was ready. With a sigh he continued, “I’m sorry I wasn’t careful. I was just so focused on getting to you before anything terrible happened, the last time you had gotten sick I almost lost my mind when you had to be hospitalized. Honestly, I couldn’t handle another repeat.”

You turned in his arms, pulling him close in a hug, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if afraid you would crumble if he let go. “My love, listen to me. It's okay. I turned out okay in the end. More than okay, really. And before you say anything, you already know I would do everything in my power to not let that happen again, especially to you. I made a promise that day at our wedding I would never leave you, that no matter what we’ll always have each other.”

“But I could have put your life at risk. I should have known better. If something were to happen to you- gods, and the baby! If something happened to the both of you I could not forgive myself. I’m sorry I did that to you both.” Kyle croaked out. Your heart nearly broke at the sound.

You knew where this was stemming from, had been there to pick up the pieces that were threatening to shatter completely, caring for a nearly broken man trying so desperately to stay afloat. How one man could deal with all that trauma and still manage to smile and care for you every single day, you didn’t know. You were glad you were there in time before it became too much for him. Had been alongside him to mourn the loved ones he had lost.

“Look at me,” You pulled back to cradle his face in your hands, thumbs brushing over his cheeks, his hands found your hips. “I’m not gonna lie, I was more than scared when I found out the comms had been left on. But it appears that luck was on our side since it was your best friend who was on the other side, a person who I trust by the way.” You said with certainty. “That being said, I know with my whole being and soul that you would never mean harm to either of us. I trust you completely. So don’t get lost in that wonderful, beautiful head of yours.”

“Thank you.” Kyle smiled. You could see thoughts were still swirling in his head, you know this conversation would be continued once you had no more guests.

During that time you pulled him in to give a peck on his nose, which he wrinkled in a grimace. “And as much as I love you, I’m asking you politely to rinse your mouth. Your breath is gnarly.”

You let go with a laugh, smacking his arm. “You ass!”

“Get washed up, lovey.” He placed a kiss on the crown of your head and got up, helping you in the process as well. “We’ll continue this later, let’s get back to our guest who’s awkwardly waiting for us.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t think I made such a good impression. Go ask what he’s feeling on eating, I won’t be more than a few minutes.”

He left with a small pat on your butt. Remembering what a coworker once said about not brushing your teeth after throwing up because it grinds the acid into your teeth, you rinsed thoroughly with water followed by mouthwash. Doing another rinse of both you figured you could do a quick brush now.

It probably wasn’t the best idea but at least the mint flavor replaced the offensive one that had been left in your mouth. It also helped ease the sick feeling that clung desperately to you.

The boys had picked a place nearby the apartment to walk to, they had been chatting your ear the entire way there. Of course, you wished you had offered to drive since the weather had gotten worse, the snow now in huge piles on the sidewalk making you put in more effort than needed to trudge through it.

Thinking about it now, there are only three more weeks until Christmas comes. You had forgotten all about it, too caught up with work to begin shopping. You’ll have to find a day when Kyle was out to go get gifts.

Not wanting to chance it again when you had been called in three days before the holiday last year, the two of you hadn't made any plans ahead of time, not sure if there'd be any last minute assignments given.

The diner had been tucked away towards the end of the block, it was small and gave off a warm, cozy vibe. You picked a booth in a corner, away from the windows with you near the wall and Kyle at the end, Guy sat across from the two of you.

You were trying to decide on getting either soup or sandwich for the better half of ten minutes, your efforts on choosing one was futile because you ended up ordering both

It was Guy who pulled you out of your thoughts. “I’m curious to know how he managed to score a date with you.”

With a mischievous glint in your eyes, Kyle knew what you were going to say first.

“He managed to spill his coffee all down my shirt.” You said with a shake of your head, forcing off a smile to feign the look of disappointment.

“There’s no way he did that, holy shit! And you still gave him the time of day?”

“Well, I was the one who actually asked him out. He was too shocked by what had happened, it was really cute. I like to think he fell for my charm, pun intended.” You laughed.

Kyle let out a groan, hiding his face in his hands clearly embarrassed. Guy groaned at your awful pun, if you could even call it that. But you were very pleased with their reactions.

The full brunt of nausea had returned when the food arrived but you managed to push it down and force food into you so you at least had something in your system. Kyle glanced your way, noticing the change in your demeanor and took your hand in his, rubbing comforting circles onto the back of yours.

“We went out for a date the week after the first, which turned into having dates once a week, which turned into two dates a week after a month, and then three dates a week. Eventually he wouldn’t dare part with me.” You said between bites.

“We've been together for five years now, going on six real soon.” Kyle continued. You hummed, leaning into his shoulder.

 “The first three years we dated, it was interesting to see how it lasted since I was going on and off world for most of the beginning. Coming clean to her helped tremendously,” Kyle noted happily. “And these last two years have been amazing since we married.” The pure joy was evident in his voice.

“What’d you think when he kept leaving in the beginning?” Guy asked you, clearly interested in your thoughts.

“It wasn't as noticeable to me because I travel a lot for work. We were lucky I had that week off, otherwise I don't think none of this would have happened. But his cute charms and loving personality made it worth it.”

“Gross.” Guy faked gagging. “What do you do for work that keeps you traveling?” 

You had been expecting that question to come up. But you wished it had come up later. Looking at Kyle who shrugged, suggesting it was your decision to tell him the truth. You decided on something in the middle.

“I work for a security company, traveling wherever I'm needed to provide my services.” It wasn't the whole truth but it also wasn't completely a lie.

Guy seemed pretty surprised at your job, not expecting that from the cozy nature of your look. “That's pretty neat. Do you stay in the country or do you also travel internationally?”

“Most of the time it's international but the most recent trip was actually here on the east coast. I was happy with the lack of jet lag that accompanies my trips.”

The three of you let the conversation die down to eat your food. The faint music playing from the speakers added to the comfortable atmosphere. It felt like you were catching up with lifelong friends rather than meeting up with your husband's brother for the first time.

“Not to bring up the elephant in the room but does Bats know about you two being together?” Guy asked wearily, looking back and forth at the two of you.

You tensed at the question, shifting uncomfortably in your seat, suddenly more interested in shoving your food around, no longer with an appetite.

“Actually, no.” Kyle coughed. “As far as I’m aware, they don’t know about us.”

“They don’t.” You confirmed coldly.

The air became thick at your tone, sensing this was a topic you did not want to talk about, Guy quickly changed the subject.

“Uhm… Have you guys got anything for the tiny lantern?”

Like a switch had gone off in your brain, your body relaxed against the seat, a soft smile on your face upon hearing the name.

“Tiny Lantern?” You asked.

“Y-yeah. The kid is gonna be a lantern if I have any say. Ring or not, we’re family.”

“Oh, fuck I think I’m going to cry thats so sweet!” The overwhelming emotions began pouring out, tears streaming down your face.

“Wait, no! Don’t cry!” He panicked and looked at Kyle for help, who was equally as flustered and confused as he was.

A small sob came out, you gulped down your water trying to stop the tears from continuing. You really didn’t know why it affected you like this, you were normally amazing at keeping your emotions in check. That’s a lie, you knew exactly why.

“It’s not that, it’s the hormones.” Wiping your tear stained face you sucked in a deep breath hoping to calm down. “Don’t worry about it, I'm fine. They’re happy tears, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Kyle gave your hand a squeeze, comforting you and turned towards his friend with a smile. That seemed to relieve him. “To answer the question, no, we haven't gotten around to any shopping yet. Well, apart from the prenatals and vitamins she needs to take now. I think that had been our next stop once we dropped off the supplies at the apartment.”

Your breathing had evened out, no longer crying. It was a little embarrassing but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, your energy now low. That seemed to be another lovely symptom you’ve acquired in the past month, remembering how you felt after your last mission.

“Maybe after a nap?” You suggested with a yawn. “Or perhaps you two could go while I nap?” You were exhausted, possibly due to the whiplash of emotions during the entire time here.

“Of course, let me pay and get some containers for us. I’ll be right back.” Kyle scooted out of the seat and walked to the counter.

The both of you kept quiet, not really sure on what to say.

You broke the silence, “I want to say that I’m normally not like this. I’m usually much calmer, not really a crier.” Not sure why you felt the need to explain yourself but continued. “Sorry I scared you earlier, it’s been a pretty harsh week for me.”

His face faltered for a moment, “Somehow, I don’t doubt that. I apologize for bringing up an unwanted past. I don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw your family but they’re different now, if it makes any difference.”

You sent him a knowing look. Of course you know how your family is doing, you’ve kept daily tabs on them since you left the manor that day.

It was one of the conditions of your new life and job that your boss let you have complete access to anything regarding them. Both in and out of the mask, although you're the only one with access to that knowledge.

“The things Kyle told me about you when you were in the bathroom makes you out to be a strong and loving woman. I don’t doubt that one bit. You’re good for him, he’s much happier than before and I know it’s thanks to you.” Guy sat back in his seat, sent a warm look to Kyle and turned back to you.

Your heart warmed and you felt lighter. Like a tension had been released from your shoulders. Looking into his eyes you only saw comfort and admiration shining through.

“Thank you, I know you mean so much to him too. I’ve heard and seen the way you treat each other like family, it’s of great importance to me having you out there with him keeping each other safe. Just know you’re always welcome to stop by, whether that be for him or to crash. The door is always open for you.”

There was a faint blush that crept up his neck. “Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.”

“Any time, although I do have one request… actually two requests for you.” He motioned for you to go on. “First, if you could keep us, me and the baby, a secret from the others, just until we’re ready.”

“That’s understandable, don't even have to ask.” He smiled.

“You might want some background information for the second favor. I have this friend of mine, a kid that I look after whenever he’s in town, actually his entire family are friends of mine.” You rambled on, taking a moment to breathe. “Anyways, he crashes with us from time to time, but is a little weary of strangers. So, whenever you’re here around the same time as him, if you could possibly ease up and maybe… give him space. Just so he doesn’t freak out.”

“That’s certainly something.” He chuckled. “But I’ll be on my best behavior, since you asked so nicely.”

Wishing you could believe it you knew better than to hope for a miracle. You knew with the two of them together they'd end up destroying the whole apartment complex. Billy had confided in you that you Rayners and his family are the only people who know about his identity, but that doesn't mean he'd stop being his chaotic smack-talking self around Guy. The less they interact with each other the safer your home will be.

Kyle came back with a few containers and you all quickly filled them before heading out, you hailing a taxi to avoid the cold before the two could oppose.

*****

You woke up much later in the day, the sky was dark but that was expected in the winter. The smell of food welcomed you, no longer feeling sick for the time being although you knew it would be a matter of time before it returned.

Making your way out of the bedroom there were bags littered along the hallway, leading to the living room where you found Kyle and Guy sitting on the floor reading instructions with parts on the floor in front of them

“Aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes.” Their heads shot up in your direction, surprised at your arrival.

“Hey sleeps, you’re up! There’s a dinner plate on the counter for you,” Kyle nodded towards the kitchen counter where there was a steaming plate of food.

You crossed the room grabbing the plate and walked back sitting on the couch closest to Kyle, judging by all the pans on the stove top he made dinner for all of you. He gave your calf a quick squeeze for his own comfort, fingers lingering.

“What are you two building?” You asked in between bites.

It could have literally been anything. The random parts on the floor didn’t give you any clues at all, whatever container they had been in was gone as well. Kyle and Guy shared a look, having a silent conversation while you ate, looking between the two of them perfectly content on waiting them out.

Guy spoke first, “It was supposed to be a surprise for when you woke up, a gift for the tiny lantern.”

“It’s a crib for our little bean,” Kyle continued eagerly with a grin. “It’s the same one you were looking at online, you’d mentioned wanting it and I thought we might as well get it now.”

Looking over at the parts in front of you it slowly clicked together. It should have been obvious from the start but your sleepy baby brain hadn’t booted up when you had looked at the familiar soft gray pieces all laid out for them.

“You do know we still have like another seven months until our bean joins us, right?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, but I was a little eager and Guy suggested it was a good idea to get started with the big stuff early on rather than wait until you’re farther along.”

Guy held up his hands, “Woah! I didn’t do anything, you’re just easily suggestible.”

“No, you’re the one who put the idea in my head.” Kyle bickered back.

You chuckled into your food. Kyle smiled up at you before turning his attention back to Guy who was smirking at him. It was obvious to Guy that you and Kyle were completely in love with each other, he was glad his best friend was happy.

“Well, thank you both for the amazing gift. The only thing we need to do besides building this is to figure out where we’re going to put it.” You said.

“Are you not turning the guest room into the nursery?” Guy asked you both.

You shrugged, “We only found out three days ago we’re expecting so we hadn’t really thought that far ahead. I mean it would be smart to do that but what about when we have guests staying over?”

“Maybe we could let our little bean stay in our room with us so they’re within reach, and we keep the guest room as is, at least for now.” Kyle suggested.

“I think you might need to invest in a larger home, this apartment is gonna get cramped real soon. You have some time to decide but don’t put it off at the last minute.” Guy piped in.

“It honestly wouldn’t be a terrible idea to get a bigger place,” you agreed. “We do have a stable and good enough income to go looking. Alright then. I’ll leave you two to build, I have maternity shopping to do.” You got up and loaded your plate into the dishwasher.  “Babe, do you know where my laptop is? I think I misplaced it again, I couldn’t find it when we got back from lunch.”

He mumbled instructions to Guy then turned to answer you. “Yeah, the rascal asked if he could use it for the weekend to do a school report so I dropped it off. You can use mine, it should still be charging on my bedside table.”

Of course your unofficial son was borrowing your laptop, this shouldn’t be news to you. You did your best not to trip on all the bags that were still placed around the hallway floor, making a mental note to inspect their contents later. 

For the time being you made yourself comfy on the bed with the laptop in your lap, you had some shopping to do since it was getting more difficult to squeeze into some of your clothes. Everything was slightly snugger than they normally were but in due time nothing would fit.

Time must have flown by quickly because a very exhausted looking Kyle walked in, shutting the door quietly behind him. You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy spurring on your feelings but he looked downright beautiful. His hair was a tousled mess, half-lidded eyes struggled to stay open, and his pout was too cute. “Were you able to find anything good and comfortable? Should I be worried about fighting off wandering eyes when you look gorgeous in whatever outfits you got yourself?”

“Only found a few things but since I have no clue what I’m doing I bought them in different sizes and I’ll return whatever doesn’t work. As for fighting off others, I’ll handle that myself but you can do as you please,” you closed the laptop as Kyle got on his side of the bed, setting it aside and gave him your undivided attention. “So… are we good to talk about it? Our situation.”

“If you’re asking if the walls have ears, no– we’re good. Guy barely made it to the spare room before he passed out. Damn crib took all our energy. It was impossible to put together.”

You let out a laugh scooting closer to Kyle, he pulled you both down so you were laying down with your back to his front where he could easily wrap his arms around you. He let his fingers rub away any lingering discomfort that came with the stressful day.

“I want to start off by apologizing for not telling you about my past sooner. I mean, we’ve been married for years now and the only thing I told you was that I had left my old life behind and took up hiding behind this new person I created. It wasn’t right nor was it fair of me to do that while you gave me everything and more.” You sighed, placing your own hands on top of his.

“Believe me when I say I knew what I was getting into when I decided to marry you. Your job alone requires you to erase your existence both in the virtual and physical world, it’s a miracle we ran into each other when we did otherwise I wouldn’t have the love of my life in my arms right now,” Kyle gave you a gentle squeeze. “You can say I don’t know anything about your past but don’t you dare say I don’t know anything about you. I know your favorite color and how you try to keep something on you that closely matches it.

“I know your eyes light up whenever you get to a good part in a book. I know how after a bad day of work you love it when I get a bath ready and have dinner prepared so all you have to do is wind down and relax. And I know that when I get too overwhelmed and start panicking you’re always there to bring me back to reality and calm me down– how you’ll drop everything to come to me to do it. These are all the little things that piece you together, the only things that matter. I don’t care that you hid that part of you but I would love nothing more than to learn about it when you’re ready and when you’re willing.”

It was incredibly hard to keep the tears back but your sniffling gave you away. There was no one more understanding and kind than your husband and it broke your heart you never had the guts to completely spill all your secrets to him. He had all your trust, love, and support and you hoped he felt the same.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” You turned your head and kissed him.

“I don’t believe you have, maybe I could do with some reminders.” Kyle gave you another peck when you pulled away.

You both stayed silent for a moment, soaking in each other’s presence and warmth. You might have thought Kyle fell asleep if it wasn’t for the long yawn coming from him.

“Babe?” you whispered and waited for a response before continuing. “Guy is right. We’re going to need to find a bigger place, it might be time to start looking into some houses. Get a nice place to stretch our legs, lord knows we’re going to need the extra room once our little bean is here and the Marvel gang makes it their life mission to help out.”

“Okay, we can start looking tomorrow– after we get some rest.”

You eased out of his arms to turn off the lamp and he immediately pulled you back to him when you were done. “Alright, tomorrow then. Good night, I love you.”

“I love you too, sleep well.”

Now, with the heavy weight off your chest you were able to fall asleep without a problem for the first time in a long time.

[itsgrimeytime]

Home is Where the Heart is (Part Seven) || Farmer!Rick Grimes (TWD) x Teacher!GN!reader AU

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

Taglist: @1tsk1tty

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: Like Real People Do by Hozier and Begin Again by Taylor Swift.

Summary: Your life was spinning out of control, you knew that. After a string of particularly shattering events, you decided it was time to start anew. With a little help from one of your Grandma's rentals, you found yourself in the small town of Alexandria. The last thing you expected was your neighbor, Rick Grimes.

TWs: a little angsty (but Rick is there to fix it), crying, infidelity, broken engagement, thunderstorms, and heartbreak.

[[A/N: You finally tell Rick your story. Get my hurt/comfort girlies in here!!! Because you are about to EAT. Enjoy :))]]

You blinked, the dark of the night peeking through your windows and the pounding of the rain on your roof filling your ears.

Flashing to your phone, your eyes flickered over the time -'3:25 AM'.

You groaned, rolling over into the other side of your bed -comforter moving with you. You tried to close your eyes again, picture something beautiful, something nice and calm-

A loud crack of thunder echoed through the night.

"Jesus Christ," you muttered -moving back over to the other side, maybe it was bad luck.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to wordlessly situate your body -everything still felt uncomfortable. You were trying though, desperately. It wasn't like you had any plans the next day, you just... you wanted to sleep. Needed to sleep.

It had been a rough day, and all you could think about was-

"I need the ring back," he said, nothing even faltering over his face -no pity, regret, nothing.

How could he show up after a year of nothing?

Your eyes shot open, breath heavy in your chest -god. You hadn't thought about that in so long, you thought you were-

"There's someone else, always has been."

Your stomach turned, and your eyes got foggy -you swallowed, dryly. This wasn't fair, you were so far away -you were starting over. He doesn't deserve to haunt you like this.

You wasted three years on him, and he took one second to ruin it all. You were supposed to get married-

With a sob racking up your throat, you finally caved -throwing back the blanket. Blinking up at your ceiling, you tried so desperately to stop the tears -he didn't deserve to make you cry anymore.

You thought you were doing so much better.

The sob squeaked out of your lips before you could hold it back, arms reaching out to hold against yourself -squeezing. Your heart, even though it was distant, shattered in your chest; you could feel what you felt then -the exact same.

Blearily through tears, you grabbed your phone -breaths hollowing out your lungs and mind running so wild. Good god, why did it hurt so bad?

Your finger dashed through your conversations, hovering over the contact. Grandma 💞. Something in your froze solid, she'd always been so wrapped up in this, it wasn't fair-

You set your phone back down, sitting properly on the side of the bed -putting your elbows on your knees, and covering your eyes with your hands. Breaths rattled out of you, but they weren't getting any slower; the sobs had stopped, but the tears kept going. It took you a few minutes there to realize this wasn't going to go alone.

Wiping at your eyes, you let out a big breath -eyes moving to the window. The sky was getting that kind of bright it did in the early mornings, and through the rain splashing against your window, you could see the blue shingles of-

You paused. Rick.

"If you ever... need anythin', I'm just a door down. Anythin'."

"I'll make time for ya, you're more important than that other stuff anyway, darlin'."

You were sliding your shoes on before you could even second guess it.

It was like you were on autopilot, you felt the rain -heavy on your clothes. You knew it was cold -goosebumps rattling across your skin, but you couldn't feel it.

And all you could hear was the pounding of your heart in your ears, and the boom of the thunder -you weren't sure which one made your hands shake. Your lip was trembling and your breath catching in your throat -you blearily stepped toward his house.

The puddles sloshed around you, soaking through your shoes but your mind wasn't thinking of that. Just the quiet timber of his voice, the twinkle in his smile, the all-encompassing woodsy smell he seemed to carry around, and his eyes -so blue.

All you could think was that you wanted him, needed him. You weren't exactly sure why, but it felt like you were broken into pieces and he was the only thing that could fix it.

By the time you reached shelter under his porch though, you were soaked -tears washing down your face just as consistent as the rain was moments before. Your hands were shaking and your chest was heavy, your hand felt so far away.

With a breath, your knuckles brushed onto the door -a quiet knock, but one all the same.

You took a deep breath in and had a moment where you realized just what you were doing. Guilt twisted into your gut, as your head swirled, showing up at his house at 3 am was not what he meant.

But your feet wouldn't move, you tried so hard to turn yourself back into the rain -maybe it would help if you stayed out there a little more. Bring you down to earth, make your mind clearer.

You won't put this on him, you reprimanded yourself, he doesn't deserve it. You should just go home and-

"Do ya 'ave any idea what ti-"

His voice was cut short, blue eyes settling on you -detailing over your soaked clothes and the redness you knew to be under your eyes. He hesitated only a little.

"Is everythin' okay, darlin'?"

Something in you snapped, tears falling faster and breaths puffing out of your chest -the tiniest whimper echoing through your lips.

Rick rushed forward at the noise, stepping out of his house without a second thought -hands gently holding your face, keeping your eyes locked on him, "Hey, hey, sweetheart, it's okay, I've gotcha. You're safe-"

You didn't say anything, sniffling a little pathetically -but something in you calmed ever so slightly. His eyes trained on you and the warmth of his hands, you felt safe.

"-c'mon, let's get ya inside."

His hands moved quickly, wrapping around your hand and pulling you inside without hesitation. Another sob riled up through your throat, and Rick turned to the noise without another thought.

"Breathe, baby, you're alright," he hummed -taking your hands and placing them on his chest, "-follow my lead."

Your mind halted, watching the up and down of his chest -mindlessly you acknowledged the stain your hands were leaving on his shirt and the dripping water staining his floor.

"Good, you're doing real good, darlin'," he praised, blue eyes watching you with something so gentle you couldn't quite name.

When he finally seemed satisfied with your breathing, he brought you to a chair in the hallway -letting your hands leave his chest, "Stay 'ere, alright? I'll be right back with some fresh clothes and a towel."

You nodded your head, words couldn't make their way up your throat. The house felt so warm and welcome, you felt better just by sitting there. Your eyes just lingered on a family photo on the wall, Rick's big smile.

Before you could blink, he was back -towel and clothes in hand. With a thought, he placed the stack beside you -getting on his knees, and fidgeting with your laces. Gently, as if you were made of fragile china, he pulled them off -putting them close to the door, where you saw a few other pairs lined up.

"We'll dry 'em later," he spoke, absent-mindedly, almost to himself.

"C'mon," he held out his hand, the other holding the towel clothes to his chest, "-let's getcha changed. 'At okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," you whispered, roughly, accepting his hand as he led you to the bathroom.

"Dry yourself off, change," he spoke, leading you into the room for privacy -blue eyes carefully skating across your face, "-I'll be right 'ere, waitin', okay? I'm not leavin' ya."

Something in your chest stung, he won't leave you.

You pulled the door shut, quietly getting undressed -clothes falling to the floor with a plop, soaked. And dabbing yourself with the towel, it wasn't going to all go away but you tried. Finally, you pulled on the dry clothes -your nose was overwhelmed with just... Rick, and you distantly realized they must be his.

Without thinking, you chanced a look in the mirror. Your eyes were puffy and red, tear streaks clear on your face -your fingers rushing up to rub at them, wipe them away. His shirt was big, sleeves going down farther than intended and hanging a little further than your hips; the pants were the same, you used the string to tie them tight against your waist.

A pair of socks fell to the floor. You smiled a little picking up the bundle and putting them on -he'd even got you socks?

Quickly, toweling off your face and hair, you let out a big sigh and roamed back to the door.

Just like he said, Rick was leaning against the table -pajamas still wet from your hands, and hair mussed from sleep. He seemed a little distracted then, worry furrowing his brow, but then he saw you.

His eyes flickered something bright, trailing over the clothes for a moment too long -like he was appreciating the sight, "There ya are."

He seemed to see you were more relaxed then, but even still, he approached you slowly, and cautiously. Experimentally stepping closer, he waited for a reaction -consent. The idea of him handling you so gently made you want to cry for an entirely different reason.

So, without a word, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his neck -digging your face into it. The scruff there buzzed along your skin, but you didn't mind -you just wanted him everywhere, and it felt like it was here. It felt safe.

Slowly, his hands gathered around your waist -hands warm and pressed into your skin like he wanted you to know he was there. With a slow movement, he turned his head and pressed a kiss to your temple -carefully.

Your eyes teared up, when was the last time you'd been held like this?

"I'm sorry," you whispered into his skin.

Rick seemed to take a moment, before carefully pulling you back to face him, calloused fingertips trailing your jaw -tilting you to look at him, "'S no reason to be sorry, sweetheart."

"I woke you up at 3 am because-" you started, but your voice stopped suddenly in your throat.

He looked at you, concern filtering through his gaze and eyebrows furrowing, "Let's go sit down. We can talk if ya want to, ya don't 'ave to say anythin' though."

That's how you ended up here, on his couch -curled into his side with his arm wrapped around you, and hand absent-mindedly tracing circles into your back.

The patter of the rain against the windows made your head go a little fuzzy, and being this close to him didn't exactly help either. All you could smell was the slight scent of rain and just Rick, and with your head pressed into his neck and shoulder, you could feel the heat thrum under his skin.

Every few moments you could feel him glance at you, but your eyes stayed focused on the rain against the windows.

Your mouth opened before you could really think about it.

"I had a fiancé."

The boom of thunder outside broke up the silence for a moment, Rick only listening quietly. You knew he was because his hand moved to your shoulder -squeezing it once solidly and then going back to circles.

"Back in the city," you clarified, moving a hand to fidget with the shirt you were wearing, "-he... We were together for three years."

Silently, his free hand pulled yours away from the shirt -lazily pulling it onto his lap, and interlocking your fingers. He squeezed it once.

There was a breath.

You could feel the words brush into the air, "What happened?"

You bit your lip, gnawing into it for a second, "He disappeared for a year. Wouldn't return my calls, and left all of his stuff."

Rick stayed quiet -patiently.

"We had friends that he talked to, so I... I knew he was alive," you breathed out -taking your interlocked hands and separating them, just so you could run your fingers over the creases in his palm, "-but I didn't see him until a few months before I... before I came here."

He let out a breath, squeezing your shoulder again.

"It was over, I already knew that I just didn't know why-" your voice cracked a little, and Rick turned his head to kiss the top of yours without hesitation, "-He showed up and asked me for the ring back."

You leaned further into him, and he neatly adjusted -fingertips pressed into the skin of your shoulder.

"Told me..." you started, eyes getting a little watery and tone a little wet, "-Told me there was someone else, that he- That he had been cheating on me the whole time, and he needed the ring to... to propose to her."

Rick tensed up for a moment, jaw tightening.

"I took all his stuff to my Grandma's, so he could get it from there, and she-" you mindlessly traced a line in his palm, "-she told me to come here, that she'd take care of everything. Told me about the job and the house she rents out and I..."

You fell silent a moment.

"Never looked back," you continued, "-and I just couldn't get that day out of my head, when he... when he needed the ring."

He hummed, fingers rubbing against your shoulder rhythmically. Back and forth like a ticking clock.

"I just... I kept wondering what I did wrong," you faltered, "-if I was... unlovable or something, or if he'd ever even loved me at all-"

"You didn't do anythin' wrong," he interrupted, it rumbled low in his chest -still slightly sleep-slurred but with conviction.

"How do you-"

"I know," he hummed, voice gruff but still so soft, "-If it's anyone's fault, baby, it's his."

Your heart picked up on the 'baby' this time, something in your mind clear enough to know he had said it now. And he meant it. You wondered briefly if he could hear it in your chest, or feel it.

"He took advantage of ya," he hummed -something tight in his tone, "-and whatever reason he did it for is bullshit."

He was mad, you could tell. Something in you felt so warm at him being mad for you, mad that someone had hurt you.

"Yeah?" You asked -small and barely there.

"'Course, sweetheart," he relented, soft and smooth, "-you didn't deserve any of 'at. No one does, but 'specially not you."

"I know," you said, quieter.

"Good," he responded, voice a little spent, "-dick didn't deserve ya anyway."

You laughed a little, fingers still pressed into his palm, and you could feel his chuckle vibrate through his chest. He pulled his hand away from your fingers to grab your other one, properly holding your hand this time. You felt his head tilt down to look at it, thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

"I wanna talk in the mornin' but," he started, voice low, "-I just want ya to know I'm not lettin' 'at happen to you again."

"How are you gonna-"

"I wanna," he continued, slow and steady, "-I wanna try somethin' with you. And I don't want ya to answer now, I'm not expectin' ya to," his thumb kept rubbing into your skin -gentle swirls, "-but if we did. I'd never let 'at happen to ya again. Ever."

You pursed your lips together into a line, you didn't know what to say -your heart squeezed in your chest. This... this, with him, didn't hurt.

But it could one day, you thought distantly.

You shook it away, focusing on the motion of his chest; he didn't want you to answer now anyway.

"You wanna sleep?" He offered, voice a barely there whisper.

"Here?"

"'M not moving," he mumbled, voice just a touch more slurred, "-too comfortable."

You smiled a little, as he leaned into you slightly, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and making sure plenty rested on you, before moving to himself.

"Think on it, okay?" He hummed, fingers still tracing shapes on your back, "-'Ere's no rush, I'll wait as long as ya need me to."

You breathed out, situating yourself into his side as you fit perfectly -his arm tightened around you. Holding you in place, and all at once protecting you -from what you weren't sure, but it didn't matter.

Closing your eyes, with the rain pattering outside and Rick tight into your side (his breaths lulling you to sleep), your mind settled.

You already knew your answer.

[excineribusbooks]

we waste the same day like nobody dies by @magpieandwhale, illustrated by @cloudy-recesses

I've lovingly referred to this project as "We Waste the Same Day Like Nobody Dies: The Illustrated Edition" ever since its inception [mumblemumble] months ago (since, if you haven't seen it yet, @teleportbooks also made a beautiful binding of the same series!). magpieandwhale is another friend I've known for TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS somehow; I knew I was going to make her a copy of this as soon as she finished it, and I had the great joy of giving it to her in person last week while in her city for a family wedding ❤️

This was another design that got slammed sideways at the last minute by finding the perfect cover paper. Last month, Renegade Publishing had its first-ever retreat, which included plenty of paper for swap and sale -- and what should I find on the swap table but that incredible gold-and-black Art Deco-ish stuff? It fit so well with the titling I'd already done that I immediately switched it up from a full cloth binding to a quarter-binding, with an inset carved out of the board for the title to sit in. For contrast (and a little intentional clashing), I went with silver-and-black on the endpapers, to play with the idea of Xue Yang and Wang Haoxuan as two not-quite-separate entities with much more in common than either wanted to believe.

The spheres in the cover design reference a scene partway through the third story, "shatter what you will not carry":

Xiao Zhan twirls his pen and digs up a fresh piece of scratch paper. “Okay. Think of a ball of some sort.” “Make it a football,” Yibo says, bone-dry. Involuntarily, Haoxuan laughs. His real legacy, right there. Xiao Zhan scoffs. “Too complicated, I’m not drawing that.” He sketches out a sphere. “A ping-pong ball. One half is black, one half is white.” He draws a vertical line down the middle, giving it dimension, shading it into a half-moon. “Do you get it? Two colors, one ball. If you rotate it so one color is facing you, the other is still there. Sound familiar?” Haoxuan glances at Yibo; his gaze is fixed on Haoxuan, stolid. It bores into him. Haoxuan swallows. He dabs his face with a napkin. Xiao Zhan keeps narrating. His pen dashes across the image. “Okay, now spin the ball on its axis. It’s still the same ball, it’s still got both colors on each side. But now that it’s in motion, the colors blend. The ball is.” He wrinkles his nose. “Gray. Should have chosen better colors. But now it’s a whole new thing, still with its component parts. Are you following?”

And the art! THE ART. cloudy-recesses, thank you so so much for letting me include so many of your incredible pieces -- whether they were made especially for the fic or just so fitting that magpieandwhale yelled "THAT ONE! I LOVE THAT ONE!" as we were hashing out what to include.

You can read the whole series at the link above, and see a whole lot more of cloudy-recesses's art on their Tumblr!

[way2gosuperrstarr]

How are Sun and Moon with physical gestures of affection? Like how comfy would they be in regards to hand holding, kisses or such? Do we have to maybe give them a sort of warning / ask for permission and stuff? Or yanno what, what's their love language in general 🤣✨ also hi Worms, I love youuuu jestieeeeee - your art lights up my dash teehee 🫂💖💖💖✨✨✨‼️‼️‼️

HI STARRIEEE 🌈💞💞 so tumblr actually completely deleted everything i typed for this previously so !!!!! im going to paraphrase,,, a little bit !! oughhh ,,,,

general love language for each;

moon - touch, words of affirmation, spending time together

sun - touch, acts of service, spending time together

you don't need to ask before hugging them or anything :) they love it, recieving any affection and attention!

moon likes to hold your hands a lot; it helps him feel more comfortable when with the 'other' and grounds him. he likes to tap you as well; on the forehead, on the knee, the elbow, the nose. it's mostly to help communicate, like tapping the knee while asking "okay?" to ask if it's alright. but it's also just a general sign of affection from him. he will usually ask before hugging you or anything until he begins to learn to read your body language better and know the signs of when it's okay to hug you without asking or when it would be better to ask first.

sun does try to ask first- he really does! but he just acts without thinking sometimes-- some of his favorite things are picking you up, spinning you around, and, much to your displeasure, throwing you up in the air and catching you again. he does try not to do this very often, but sometimes he just gets so happy he throws you without thinking after a spin. he always catches you, though! don't worry! he also really likes holding you hand like moon does, but not for the grounding comfort reason, it just makes him feel really happy. to help ground himself he puts his hand on your head and acts like he's 'leaning' on you. something about it just calms him down. and, it looks silly! sun isn't completely dense though; he'll be able to tell if youre clearly upset and wont do anything stupid if he notices. he'll take greater care with controlling his impulses in that case. he may be less observant than moon in most cases, but he does pick up on things.

[greetings-inferiors]

I want Roxas is smash just because I know that everyone else would think he's just as cool as I do. Like I love how Sora plays, I think he's so damn cool, but the general consensus is that he's campy and boring. Roxas? He'd by a rush down god. A top tier for sure. His combos would be nutty. He'd definitely feel a lot more like kh2 combat, which is a lot more flashy and cool.

Anyway I'm going to make a Roxas moveset because why not (this is Roxas duelwielding, based off of his kh2 fights and when he's playable in kh3)

Normals: Roxas is a lot more of a combo character than his somebody, so a lot of his normals cancel into each other.

His jab has 3 moves: jabs 1 and 2 are cancelable into up and forwards tilt, and are overhead swings like at the end of the kh2 Roxas fight cutscene against Sora. Jab 3 he dashes forward and swings both keyblades out in a scissor motion (a motion that pops up a lot in his kit). The slash itself has a hit box but the sweet spot is the afterimage flash of light he leaves where he was originally standing.

His down tilt is a fast scissor sweep with both keyblades that pops up. It isn't cancelable but it combos into his other tilts at various percents.

His forward tilt has 3 moves: ftilt 1&2 are cancelable into the smashes and up tilt, and are those cool spinny slashy things he does, while ftilt3 has him spin oathkeeper in front of him for a bit before slashing forwards with oblivion.

His up tilt has two hits: up tilt 1 is jump cancelable and has him swipe oathkeeper above him marth style, and up tilt 2 in cancelable into up smash and side and neutral special and has him spin oblivion above him Sora style.

His dash attack has him do that cool move where he dashes forwards, spins his keyblades around as he moves to the side, picks them back up on the other side and spins back around to recover. He goes a bit into the z axis in the middle of it which lets him dodge some things but not much. It isn't cancelable but at low percents it launches directly above him allowing him to follow up.

So with his smashes I will have to warn you - he can do them in the air. Not always, he only can in a specific condition, but it means he can quite easily pick up kills at the end of his combos. Here goes:

His forward smash has him do that one move where he floats in the air and shoots his keyblades back and forth in front of him.

His up smash has him spin up and forward before coming down. If done in the air he'll stop after a while if he hasn't hit the floor.

His down smash has him brace for an attack, in which point he is invincible (a la Lucas up smash), then slashes out with a ring of light around him horizontally, hitting on both sides.

Aerials (aside from the smashes lol):

For his neutral air he spins once, hitting opponents with his keyblades. It is very quick and quite weak leading to easy combo ability.

His forward air has 3 hits: fair 1 and fair 2 are just slashes forward which pop him up if they hit Sora style, and fair 3 has him fully spin around and hit his opponent with both keyblades like they're a baseball bat.

His down air has him do a scissor slash downwards, which is a spike.

His up air has him slash overhead, it's closest in function to mario up air. Whichever keyblade he swings depends on which one he didn't swing last.

His back air has him swing oathkeeper around for a small slash, and then oblivion for a big slash.

Specials: here's the cool stuff.

His neutral special has him turn into a beam of light and dash forwards, automatically locking onto an enemy if one is close enough. He's vulnerable while doing it, but if he hits an opponent with it he gets some benefits. He gets his double jump back (can you tell I'm a clairen main) the first time he uses it in the air, his next aerial/normal becomes jump cancelable, and he can perform a smash attack, even in the air, which will shoot light pillars out at some point (in forward smash 5 light pillars close in on his opponent, in up smash 2 light pillars follow up and hit the opponent either once he hits the floor or the moves cancels, and in his down smash 5 light pillars shoot out in a spiral pattern). It's a very strong kill confirm tool, as a lot of his normals combo into neutral special, some even cancel into it, but if he damages his opponent past the threshold it connects he struggles to kill confirm. Also this means Kirby can do that. Actually while we're here: Kirby's copy ability has him have oathkeeper and oblivion behind him, just like when Sora steals them in the kh2 fight. If you want more than that, he gets Roxas' spiky hair, or a org hood for the alt where Roxas has his hood up.

Side special: he pauses, then dashes forward a large distance cutting everything down in his way and causing a large light blast at his destination. If you launch someone into the radius of where side special sweet spots it can be a devastating kill confirm.

Down special: Roxas uses reversal. He slides around, and ends up facing away. When near someone this puts him directly behind them, and has invincibility on start up (like frame 3 or so, basically an air dodge), so facing Roxas in the air is a guessing game: do you fair or bair him? Bear in mind that this puts him BEHIND the opponent, so the counterplay to reversal is to approach him with bairs, but that isn't always optimal. If you have a big enough Nair that might work lol.

Up special: funnily enough this is the one I had the most trouble with. I don't want it to be that good for recovery, since neutral, side, and down special are all good (from best to worst). My choice would be that helicopter slash Valor form gets, you know the one that's like one slash, a pause, and then lots of slashes, but in smash the one slash is the first input, but is basically just a shorthop, if you input up special twice in a row you get the full thing, which goes a fair bit further, but puts you in free fall.

Throws:

He has his keyblades float behind him as he grabs you.

His pummel has him punch you in the gut.

For his forward throw he throws you forward, then sends three pillars of light to follow up.

For his down through he basically does Sora's down throw.

For his back throw he throws you back with one hand, then in the blink of an eye dashes and scissor slashes.

For his up throw once again I'm blanking. Maybe he throws you up, spins, collecting energy, before shooting out light pillars in a spiral to hit you above him.

Final smash:

I don't think there's anything else it could be tbh. Pillars of light start spinning around him, as he rises into the air, then the stage background gets enveloped in twilight, as he spins then starts screaming as he shoots orbs of light at all of his opponents. Maybe once he finishes he teleports straight to his opponent (or the closest one) with one last scissor slash for the road.

Stage: Roxas' stage would be twilight town. But not just any twilight town. It would be the end of days, specifically the platform in the sky, which would fly around twilight town like hollow bastion, and if stage hazards are on every so often gundam Xion will come and be a boss fight a la metal face or yellow devil.

Cosmetics:

His first colour is how he looks in kh3, org cloak, hood down, oblivion and oathkeeper.

His second colour has him in his twilight town getup. Once again oblivion and oathkeeper.

The colours then alternate, idk you can have one where he has black hair for xion, one with red hair for axel, one with dark brown hair for Sora, one with blue hair for saix (the blue and dark brown also means terra ventus and aqua are represented lol). Maybe a white one for xemnas? Idk.

But the last cloaked alt (it would probably be seven) has him with his hood up. Because that's sick as hell and the alt that I'd play.

Oh also one of the alts uses two sticks. Because I said so.

For his victory animations:

First one: him, Axel and Xion are laughing on the clock tower eating ice cream. Axel hits his back while laughing, causing him to drop his winner ice cream stick. They all laugh it off, and the animation loops with them goofing off.

Second: the animation where he first uses oblivion and oathkeeper in kh2, just before axel says TWO?!. He brings them out, one by one, then poses.

Third: he blasts in, creating a cloud of dust, the either removes his hood (if an org cloak alt), or adjusts his neck, spins his keyblades around, and looks vaguely triumphant.

Now the juicy stuff:

IF SORA AND ROXAS ARE IN A MATCH:

Sora wins: he wakes up in his cocoon, walks out and yawns, before smiling. Maybe even Donald goofy and jiminy show up to congratulate him.

Roxas wins: looks like my summer vacation is... Over *looks at Sora in the cocoon*

Sora and Roxas are on the same team, and win:

Sora surfaces in destiny islands, sees Kairi, they smile at each other, then Sora becomes Roxas and Kairi becomes namine, just like in kh2's ending.

If the stage is hollow bastion, and dive to the heart occured:

Sora wins, Roxas loses: the "you're a good other" sequence plays, before Sora returns to the world that never was, and looks up at kingdom hearts.

Roxas wins, Sora loses: the scene where Roxas pounds his keyblades on Sora's keyblade, Sora loses his footing, Roxas hits the kingdom key aside, and Stabs it into the ground, looking at Sora angrily.

If the stage is twilight town:

Roxas wins, Xion was beaten (if stage hazards were turned on): Xion dies in Roxas' arms. Fuck you days gets spoilt MWAHAHAHAHA

Sora wins, Roxas loses: the scene where Sora gets on the Train and doesn't know why he's crying.

Also the song list would include songs outside of just kingdom hearts 1: the other promise, tension rising, vector to the heavens, the 13th struggle, lord of the castle, literally every xemnas theme, rage awakened, nachtflugle; just to name a few. Also one winged angel can play on kingdom hearts stages.

Anyway that's basically it Roxas is my favourite character and I want him in smash so badly.

[atinylittlepain]

Request: Reader suffers an accident with an infected and ends up full of their blood, so in a horde of infected she manages to go unnoticed and meets some strangers (Joel and Ellie) who were being cornered and saves them, since they did not know the technique of going unnoticed among the zombies. In a universe where they are zombies and not the infected from the last of us. Reader x Joel Miller.

ahhh, this is bringing me back to watching the walking dead as a kid and I love it! I put my own little spin on it, I hope that's ok :) thank you for the request, babe!

A Big Break

Joel Miller x f!reader

warnings | 18+ descriptions of gore and violence, angst, a dash of fluff

joel miller masterlist

..............

There was no other way. It was damn risky, maybe even idiotic, but Joel knew there was no other way. That’s what he kept telling himself as he and Ellie began to move through the fallen Columbus QZ. Shit had only hit the fan here a month ago, and the damage was still fresh. Bodies scattered the streets, already in various states of decay, most obviously bit and turned as they reached weakly for the pair. Ellie took odd pleasure in stabbing the walkers in the skull (“extra points for eyeball shots, old man”), but Joel was quick to tell her to “cut that shit out” and “keep fucking moving.” 

They hadn’t been together on the road very long at this point. Long enough to lose Tess to a horde. Long enough to realize this wasn’t going to be easy, getting this kid across the damn country. But he had promised Tess, and he couldn’t turn back now, not when there was nothing left for him in Boston. 

Joel was keeping his eyes scanning the storefronts as they skirted through the city. They needed supplies, food mostly, and they needed it badly. He knew that the geeks weren’t much danger, you could out-walk them usually. The problem came when they had numbers. The instant you were cornered, and there were more walkers than you could count on your hands, Joel knew you were shit out of luck. But really, it was humans he was more worried about.

It’s a huge break that they reach the outskirts of the city without any problem, and Joel thinks to himself that something big must have happened here for it to have been so wiped out. Just off the highway, he spots one of those big warehouse stores. It’s a fool’s errand, a store like that had probably been picked over a long time ago, and he’s sure that not everyone that went in came back out. But they’ve only got about another day’s worth of jerky in their packs, and he’s noticed that the hungrier Ellie gets, the more backtalk she dishes out. They skirt down the highway heading toward the store, Ellie asking all kinds of questions as they near the building.

“Why were people so obsessed with toilet paper?” Joel huffs, eyes darting around the crumbling parking lot, scanning for movement and finding nothing.

“Don’t know. People liked stuff back then. Liked having a lot of it. You ask me, I always thought these stores were a scam. Thinking you’re spending less and getting more but you’re really just spending more.” Ellie hums at that, close on Joel’s heel as they sidle up against the building. They both carry hunting knives and flashlights, Joel keeping his rifle slung across his back. The doors have all been busted in, glass crunching under their boots as they step into the dim store. At first glance, it seems clear, Joel can’t hear any of the warbly grunts he’s come to associate with walkers, and he sees no movements amongst the ceiling-high shelves. He lets his light dart across the store, catching motionless bodies down some of the aisles. It seems like they may have gotten another break.

He turns over his shoulder, nodding at Ellie, and the pair start to move further into the store. The lower shelves are all bare, but the higher ones are still packed with stuff. Joel sets his sights down one aisle, the top shelves lined with cans of food. He turns to look at Ellie.

“Think you can get up there, kid?” She grins.

“What? Scared of heights, old man?” He scowls at her smug expression.

“Too old for that shit. I’ll give you a lift up and you toss down whatever you can, alright?” She huffs, already shouldering off her pack. He hoists her up with a groan onto one of the higher shelves, and he’s a little annoyed at how easy she makes it look as she hauls herself up to the top.

They move in tandem, she tosses down cans of food that he catches in an old cardboard box that had been laying on the floor, his knife back in its sheath on his thigh. The heavier the box gets, the more relief floods through Joel’s system. But he’s learned that relief is always short lived in this world.

The thing is, Joel can’t hear out of his right ear. Hasn’t been able to after that stand-off with a group of smugglers. And it’s from his right side that a geek is suddenly on him, causing him to drop the box and stagger back onto the ground. He’s quick to grab his knife and stab the walker through its skull. That’s not his concern though, not when he sees the trickle of walkers starting to shuffle into the store. 

“Ellie, we need to go now.” She sees them just as he does, letting out a low curse as she starts to scramble down the shelves. Joel’s shoving cans into their packs, keeping an eye on the horde, his heart kicking up the nearer they close in. They’re gonna have to gore their way out, there’s too many now to skirt the crowd. 

The store is a cacophony of the garbled groans and grunts of the walkers as Ellie finally hops down onto the floor. As quick as she shrugs back on her pack, the first wave of geeks is on them and the pair have no choice but to start stabbing and struggling towards the exit. But when they’ve barely moved a few feet, the horde seeming to have no end, Joel starts to get worried. He tries to shut off his brain, to just keep running his knife through the geeks, but even he can’t tamp down the fear as they get encircled by the decaying creatures. 

Ellie and he are pressed back to back, frantically killing off the swarming infected, both starting to let the panic wash over them of this reality. Just then, he catches a glint of something through the horde. The blade of a knife. And then he sees the person moving through the horde, seemingly unnoticed by the teeming geeks. They’re wearing what looks like an old, dark red raincoat with the hood pulled up, obscuring their face as they dart through the swarm, making quick work of the walkers who still bizarrely ignore them. Joel realizes that they’re clearing a path for them, and he grabs Ellie’s arm to start shouldering through the infected, following the hooded figure as they start to struggle towards the entrance. It’s damn close to a miracle as they step out into the light of day, and Joel now sees that the person who just saved their asses is a woman, and that the coat she’s wearing is covered in blood and viscera, enough to make even his stomach turn. She glances at them over her shoulder, a silent look that tells them to follow. Maybe it’s just because he’s still shocked by how easily she moved through that horde, but he complies, nodding at Ellie behind him as they silently jog out of the parking lot and down an embankment before they hit the treeline. When they get into the woods, she finally turns, taking down her hood and studying them. Joel’s fingers flex on the strap of his rifle as he holds her gaze.

“Where are you folks headed?” Joel glances at Ellie before looking back at her.

“West. How did you do that?” She grimaces, cocking her hip as she glances between him and Ellie.

“Where west?” Joel huffs.

“Wyoming. Got family there.” It’s not a complete lie, he is going to find Tommy, but not before taking Ellie to those doctors in Utah, information that this stranger certainly doesn’t need to know.

“You’re a long way from Wyoming. You sure that family is still gonna be there?” His jaw ticks under her steely gaze. She shrugs, turning heel and starting to trudge into the forest. For a moment Joel stands unsure what to do, Ellie looking at him questioningly. But then, she turns back around, hollering over her shoulder.

“Y’all coming or not? Look like you could use some rest.” They both stutter into motion, following behind her. Joel figures so long as it’s in the general direction of west, it can’t really hurt. That, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t find out how she did that back there.

They walk for a while, going deeper and deeper into the woods until the sound of running water starts to come closer at hand. As they break through the trees a creek comes into view, a cabin sitting a little ways back from it. 

“Holy shit.” Ellie laughs at the sight, and the woman turns back over her shoulder to grin at them. 

“Found this place just passing through two days ago. Decided to stay a while. Think it was someone’s bug out cabin. There’s cans of food all stacked up in the pantry. Help yourself.” Ellie is already walking toward the cabin, but Joel grabs her arm, pulling her back behind him despite her protests. The woman stills, sizing him up again.

“Why are you helping us?” She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Why shouldn’t I? Y’all bad people or something?” Joel doesn’t say anything, but Ellie pipes up.

“We’re not bad people. Joel’s just an asshole.”

“Ellie.”  The woman laughs at the pair’s interaction.

“Alright then. Joel and Ellie, it’s nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand, but Joel only looks at it. Ellie huffs, coming out from behind him and shaking her hand herself. The woman tells them her name.

“Look, you can do whatever you want. I’m getting out of here tomorrow morning, heading out to Utah, if you care to know. But, you’re welcome to camp out here with me tonight. Wouldn’t mind a little company.” Joel’s ears prick at her mention of Utah, but he keeps his expression steeled. 

“Well, I’m staying the night.” Ellie crosses her arms over her chest, shooting Joel a challenging look. He huffs, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“Fine. We’ll, uh, we’ll stay the night, if that’s alright with you. But we’re heading out tomorrow too.” The woman grins, nodding lightly.

“That’s alright with me, Joel.” 

…

Ellie’s first move is to the pantry, finding herself a can of peaches and busting it open with a rock, slurping up the syrup. Joel sits down on the moldering steps of the cabin, watching as the woman goes down to the creek, shrugging out of her gorey jacket and dipping it into the water, scrubbing away at the smeared guts on it. He shuffles down to the water’s edge alongside her, sitting down on a fallen tree and watching her silently work at her jacket. He clears his throat and she turns to look at him.

“What’s in Utah?” Her movements still and she sighs before glancing at him again.

“That kid is right, you do seem like an asshole– but for some reason I feel like being honest with you. Before the Columbus QZ fell, I was a part of the Firefly outpost there, I’m sure you’ve heard of us. We had been radioing with a hospital out in Salt Lake City before shit hit the fan. They’ve, uh, been working on a vaccine, if you can believe it, last I heard they found a kid who’s immune, the real deal.” Joel swallows thickly, not totally believing that she’s actually telling him this.

“Are you a doctor?” She smiles.

“Was supposed to be, had another year left of school when everything– well you know.” He squints at her.

“What kind of doctor?” Her smile crooks and for a moment Joel’s distracted by how pretty she is.

“An epidemiologist, go figure, huh?” He snorts, shaking his head. She sighs.

“Anyways, a couple of us were holed up in the city after everything happened, kept listening to the radio and planned to head out but, uh, I guess I’m the only one who actually made it.” Her face falls, eyes settling on her hands. Joel sighs.

“Since you’re telling me the truth, I might as well do the same. We are headed to Wyoming, but we’re also headed to Utah.” She furrows her brow at him. He jerks his head over his shoulder, gesturing to Ellie who’s still sitting on the porch practically making love to another can of peaches.

“That kid? I’m pretty sure that’s the one you heard about over the radio.” Her eyes widen, jaw falling slack. Joel just nods.

“I’ve seen the scar myself. She is the real deal.” She lets out an incredulous laugh.

“Well then I guess I’m glad I decided to see what all the ruckus was about at that Costco.” Joel laughs at that, trying to tamp down the warmth that’s spreading through his chest at the sight of her grin. He shakes his head, trying to refocus.

“You know, I’m still wondering how you did that. Those geeks weren’t even glancing at you.” She quirks an eyebrow at him, lifting up her now clean jacket. Joel’s brow furrows.

“What, like camouflage?” She shrugs, laying the jacket out on a rock before sitting down beside him, their legs barely brushing.

“Something like that. Whatever this thing is, we’re pretty sure it’s a virus. Not airborne obviously, something more like a stomach flu that has to pass through a mucous membrane of some kind.” She glances at him to see if he’s following and he nods.

“Well, the only goal of a virus is to make more of itself, right? So, that virus is gonna be looking for hosts, organisms that aren’t already tagged by it. It was a shot in the dark, really, but I figured if I walked around with a nice coating of the virus all the time, all those stumbling hosts weren’t gonna pay me any mind, and I was right.” The explanation goes just a little over Joel’s head, and she seems to be able to tell, laughing lightly. He’d be hard pressed to admit how the sound is making a blush creep up his neck.

“Sorry, that was probably more of an explanation than you wanted. But, yeah, it works. You just gotta make sure you don’t get any of that gunk in any cuts or your eyes and stuff, but otherwise it’s damn good protection.” Joel huffs, nodding as he glances at her.

“Never seen anything like that before. It’s impressive– that you figured that out.” She shrugs, getting back up to collect her jacket. Joel speaks before he can even think about it.

“If we’re headed the same way, we might as well stick together. Might not be as smart as you, but I’m good on the road, and the kid is too.” They both glance behind them at Ellie. She’s on her third can of peaches. Joel turns back to her and she laughs at his exasperated expression.

“Alright, Joel– wait, what’s your last name?” He feels the smile spreading across his face as he holds out his hand to her.

“Miller, Joel Miller.” She grins, clasping his hand. His heart kicks at the squeeze she gives him.

“Joel Miller, looks like we’re walking to Utah together.”

…

They share a makeshift dinner of canned beans and vegetables, Joel having cut Ellie off from the peaches to get something other than sugar into her stomach. The girl promptly conks out inside, and Joel offers to take the first watch of the night. She still follows him out, leaving Ellie lightly snoring in her sleeping bag. They sit down together on the steps outside the cabin and she offers him a small flask she pulled out of her back pocket. He raises an eyebrow at her, but she just grins, pushing the flask into his hand. He takes a swig, letting the burn thrum down his throat before passing it back to her, the warmth that her fingertips brushing his sparks up his arm far better than anything booze could ever create. She grins around her own gulp before screwing the cap back on and tucking the flask away. 

Joel is finding that he can’t take his eyes off her, the way her features are limned in moonlight, the slight smile tugging at her lips. He really needs to stop looking at her lips. He feels like he’s losing his mind, how quickly he seems to be getting tangled up with this woman. It’s easier to just chalk it up to the physicality of it all. She’s there, she’s warm, she’s pretty, she’s smart– he’s a damn fool. He clears his throat, trying to shake his brain free of these stupid thoughts.

“So you were really gonna study diseases? That’s what you wanted to do?” She snorts, resting her cheek on her shoulder as she turns to look at him.

“That was the plan. Although, I guess in a way I’m still doing that, just with one very weird disease.” He huffs out a laugh at that.

“Do you really think these people– these doctors– do you think they can find a cure?” She scrunches up her face.

“Not a cure– a vaccine. If it is a virus, and Ellie really is immune, her blood could be the golden ticket.” Joel shifts slightly to face her, their knees brushing. She grins.

“I won’t give you another medical lecture about how that would work. But, if what you told me is true, it will work.” Joel nods.

“Wouldn’t mind another medical lecture, for the record.” She quirks her brow at him.

“Oh, you wouldn’t? I’ll have to remember that.” Now Joel knows he’s going crazy because there’s no way in hell she’s actually flirting back, right? His head is swimming, exhausted from the long day and just slightly buzzed from whatever she had in that flask and it’s making him throw caution to the wind.

“I’d probably listen to just about anything you have to say.” He flushes the instant the words leave his mouth, but she just grins brightly.

“Well, maybe you aren’t an asshole after all, Joel Miller.” He winces as she laughs.

“I’m sorry about earlier– it’s just–” She cuts him off, resting her hand on his knee and squeezing lightly.

“Don’t have to apologize– I understand. You gotta look out for you and yours.” He presses his lips in a thin line holding her gaze. And then, Joel feels like his heart is going to explode when she carefully brings one hand to his jaw, leaning closer to him.

“It’s ok if you can’t believe what I’m about to say, at least not yet. But you can trust me, Joel. I’ll help you get her there as best I can.” He swallows thickly, nodding.

“We’ll get her there together, I guess.” She smiles at his words, dipping in and laying a sweet kiss on his cheek that sends a jolt up his spine. When she pulls away, she snorts at his agape expression. He collects himself enough to speak.

“What was that for?” She grins.

“For not being an asshole.” Before he can reply, she briskly gets up, turning and walking back into the cabin after speaking to him over her shoulder.

[vntako]

vn* in a bottle: petit game collection vol.1

hm, i guess there's a bit of an irony talking about this before needy girl, but here we are. i played this with my darling and had a really nice time

this game is a spin-off of needy girl overdose / needy streamer overload. it's collection of 3 minigames and a developer's notes room. it's retro goodness, not that i'm that old to know. i did play toradora portable though, and that had some extra content similar to this. i guess that main difference is that you're paying for this extra content, huh. i feel it's pretty worth it if you really like needy girl

only one of the minigames is a vn, so let's talk about that last

break out kangel

it's kangel breakout. this one is entirely in japanese. it'd be fine if there wasn't a little bit of dialogue, but otherwise you're not missing anything

i'm not sure how common it is to have strip breakout as an extra minigame in vns, i've only played one other that has something like this, but it kinda feels like a staple to include if that makes sense? i could be wrong. i don't exactly know what to search online to find that kind of info, too

anyway this is just strip breakout. break the blocks, collect the falling power ups and uh remove kangel's seifuku. simple as that. she's ofc wearing smth under that, there's no nudity in this game

don't die, kangel!!

this one may generally be found to be more enjoyable than breakout. it's a shmup where you shoot your fans with meds. i like the art, it's super cute. though i could say about every kangel and ame art in this game

there's a bit of story that's mildly engaging, i found it neat. you're typically here for the gameplay though

the street is just a background, you stay entirely on this screen. you have pills to use as ammo, and your only objective is to not die (like the title tells you). after a few waves of nerds, a boss appears. and there's three bosses to beat

after a wave you get to pick a new pill. picking the same type of pill upgrades it. they're pretty self-explanatory. then it randomly shuffles some of it into your ammo every time you reload. also you reload with RMB, which also lets you dash a bit

it doesn't take that long to beat (this is stage 1's clear screen though). i had a fair bit of fun with this one. you do have to beat the boss, but you can let every other nerd just pass you

kangel's room

this is the credits. the people who worked on the game have stuff to say, so listen properly!!

ame's happy happy dating game

i couldn't screenshot this one properly, so please forgive the clutter. i don't really wanna crop it all so in exchange i offer you uh, you get to see my wallpaper

it's been that for a few months now

ame wants to go on a date with you, so you better choose well!! i think the most interesting part of this game is that it let p-chan monologue their thoughts. they're kinda messed up

ignoring the fact that i only took this screenshot now, you get to pick where you wanna take ame on a date for the next few days

since you get to pick, there's a good and bad ending, naturally. better not give her a bad time, mmkay?

i realized once some cgs showed up that this is where people have been getting those nice ame wallpapers from. the art for the vn is nice, it's really neat and clean, and ame looks super cute. the music is mixed a bit weirdly at times (kangel's theme is so loud) but overall i liked the aesthetic direction here

p-chan is here to give us a description of the world as someone really close to ame. however they describe things reflects how ame sees it. ame is fleshed out so much more than we see her in the base game through p-chan's monologues here (the base game does it great though lemme just clarify). i mean more to say that this format lets people stay and really be with ame past the webcam app on p-chan's screen. it feels a bit dangerous, to occupy the same space as her. and of course it is, ame being who she is. though that goes the same for all humans

i think the bad ending represents a lack of consideration and care one might have towards people. i went for it "just to see what it would be" without regard for how someone might feel about it. it tracks given the conditions for that bad end, too. impulse, disregard, the absence of seeing while doing.

going for the good end kinda feels like a chore, given you have to see everything in the game. though, it's supposed to feel more like a prayer, i think. a connection with ame, of sorts? seeking out and trying to understand her through the places she goes and hearing what she thinks. it might not be something you'd consider pleasant, but few things in life really are. even less so for humans. ame is a human

it's easy to connect with angels, all you need is the internet. i want to connect with human beings, too

[minamartin]

Whispers of Violence - Chapter 2 : Quite The Spin You Had!

Sorry for the delay. I meant to post it on Sunday evening but i have been ill with a stomach bug. I deeply appreciate every like, reblog and comment. Im glad you guys are interested. :)

Rating : Mature, NSFW

Warnings : Mentions of physical abuse, Mentions of psychological trauma.

Stella was pushing her foot on the gas hard. She had no idea where she was rushing. The last thing she wanted, is to get to town earlier than needed. Fuck, she fully expected herself to procrastinate, reschedule or ask her sister to take care of this instead of her. Stella didn't wanted to complicate this by mentioning it to Carly, so she decided to not tell her about it at all. Somehow her miserable thoughts and feelings agreed, that this needs to be dealt with and the sooner it is, the sooner the discomfort and the stress goes away.

She haven't seen the farm or the house, since that night. Carly packed her stuff and moved into a storage unit near her house, so when she was feeling well enough to sort through her stuff, she could have the opportunity to do so if she wanted. She haven't had the faintest of idea what state the house and the farm was in. It was put up for sale two years ago, because until then she still could not decide what to do with it. Her mother loved that place. But as soon as she died, both Stella and her sister started to loath it. There was no way they will live in it ever again, so the only thing left to do is sell it if they can.

She glanced down to her Porsche's clock on the dash. She only lived an hour away from the town, and she still had half an hour to go. She eased her foot off of the gas and started driving at a more calmer pace. She turned on the music in the hope of it rerouting her thoughts that were running wild. Anxiety already rode up on her spine and infected her stomach. She could only find comfort in the thought, that in broad daylight, surely nothing catastrophic will happen. Even in a town where the Vandals roamed free.

Vandals. What a stupid fucking name to begin with. For understandable reasons, no one pitied the Roman Empire, when it was ransacked by Vandals. It was a horrible state that preyed on the weak, stole everything that they could get their hands on and destroyed most of the ancient greek civilisation. On the other hand, one would wonder what horrible crimes this little town ever committed, to be damned with a bunch of bikers full of anger, hatred, violence and passion for freedom and rebellion.

Their leader, Johnny certainly was an avid reader of history. Stella took care to listen to him very carefully on the rare occasions that he talked. Everyone around him, all the time seemed so hung up on his words, but Stella listened him for different reasons. The first time she had seen him up close, watched his mannerism, the way he moved, she knew it instinctually that this man is the most dangerous one in any room he walks in. He wasn't a man of many words, granted, so it was hard for her to get a better read on him, but she gathered enough to learn to keep her distance from him, especially if Benny wasn't around. Those occasions were almost nonexistent on their own, which Stella always felt really grateful for.

The blasting music had no effect whatsoever, except for keeping her fully awake. She hasn't slept all night. She watched wide awake as the sun rose up from under the horizon. All she could think about, was all the possible situations, that she might possible fall into around town. Will i run into a few Vandals again by accident? What will i do in this case? What do i do if i run into Him? What do i do if i learn the news of Him being dead? What if, what if, what if...

What if, you just stop asking questions?!

She glanced at the dash.

Soon she will need to stop for gas.

She turned off the music and stopped at the gas station at the edge of town. This was the first place she saw after all these years, and it looked all the same as it did some years ago. Chipped paint, rusting corners and discolored spots due to water damage. After she put the filling pistol in her car, she silently studied the place further from behind her sunglasses.

Her stomach shrank when she saw one big old Harley by the pillar, at the left side of the gas station. She quickly recognized the grey haired, tall man who always smoked cigars and usually never left Johnny's side. He lived in her memories as a truly unpleasant man. And she saw quite some of those amongst the Vandals. None of them intimidated her as much as this man. Even his smiles were vile and full of threats.

She quickly turned her head back to the direction of her car. She hoped that her sunglasses and little bit of changed appearance will be enough to deceive most of the eyes. If she was nervous before, her anxiety was a burning oil tanker on the open sea when Johnny himself stepped out of the shop.

She only dared to glance by her peripheral vision and it took everything she had in her to not to turn her head towards the danger. She gripped the filling pistol and hoped that it will not click just yet and she doesn't have to walk in the shop to pay. She turned her back in a nonchalant manner towards the man who was still standing by the shops entrance, and lighting a cigarette – by the looks of it from the mirror that Stella stared into. Yeah...what place is better to have a smoke, than a fucking gas station?!

She saw the man stiffen in his posture and small movements. She instinctively knew just from that – he recognised her, even with her back turned to him in the distance. She felt sick to her stomach and all of her muscles tensed up when he started slowly walking towards her. She instinctively wanted to run, but her rational mind was able to triumph over her anxiety. She steadied herself, like a young tree in a storm, and hoped for the best.

Johnny never liked the idea of her being around Benny. Not even for that short time that they spent together. Even though he disagreed, he never threatened Stella or mistreated her. But he made it clear through his vague hints, that he would prefer her to keep her distance from his club and Benny, because it is not her world, and nor her world is Benny's.

"That's a really, really nice car." Stella forgot how harsh, raspy and unpleasant the man's voice is. It's like a bonesaw, cutting through everything, even in a normal, easygoing tone.

She remained silent.

Not sure if out of spite or fear.

"Nice to see you doing so well, Stella!" He added slowly stepping even closer.

Fuck!

Stella turned around with a posture that showed resilience and carelessness at the same time. She became the biggest fan of the fake it till' you make it method towards a lot of things in her life in the past five years. She was proud of that, out of all the occasions, now more than ever, because she was terrified, but showed no sign of it.

She felt as a billiard ball had stuck in her throat.

She knew it was fear that kept her mute, not spite.

Stella froze up in her entire existence when the man without an ounce of consideration of personal space towards another human being stepped right in front of her, as she were an old lover of him, and with a careful and unusually gentle manner took off her sunglasses. Stella studied him, while he did the same.

He was older. At least looked much older than she remembered. His face was still somewhat handsome, but it had worn out so obviously, even to her it was apparent, that something went downhill in his soul really fast. Only people with and through psychological and emotional stress aged up so fast. Stella was sure he had a lot of that, but she still found it hard to believe that a man like him, would even have a soul and a conscience.

Johnny couldn't believe what she saw in front of his own eyes. She was more beautiful than he remembered. She became more beatiful than she ever was before. A little bud of a flower became a fully blossomed out one. He was an old men and she was a young woman that would never be hers, still he wasn't unaware nor unaffected by the sight nor the scent of her. She resembled too much to an old ghost that still haunted him to this day.

"Hmmm." Johnny hummed and looked away from her face, glancing down at her sunglasses that he kept holding between his calloused fingers. Even back then he understood how this little girl had Benny in a death grip. He wasn't lacking in imagination, but he could not even dare to guess the effect of the women who stood before him now on Benny.

The deafening silence that engulfed them was disrupted by the clicking of the filling pistol. Her Porsche had it's fill of fuel, yet she refused to move. She stood her ground unbothered by outside circumstances.

"It is really, really a nice machine!" Johnny glanced aside to the bronzeish-brownish colored car. "Altough i favour older machines. They are already stood the test of times and still have that brute strength. But the new ones...those always look the best. I never had a care how things look though." He cradled the sunglasses between his fingers. "I'd imagine with the farm being sold, you will be able to afford just about anything. But i can't help but wonder...what would your mother say about selling it?!"

Stella took a long, hard look at the man. Confusion would not even begin to describe what she felt. What basis on he is dragging her mother into something that he has no business digging in at all?! Stella felt a strong case of curiousity, but held her tongue and all she managed to say...

"Can i have that back?" She nodded towards the five hundred dollar sunglasses of hers.

Johnny's mouth formed into a playful smile, but his hand did not move.

Stella learned a little about the pressure-release method from her mother who sometimes used it on horses, and later on people often forced this on her as well. But she was no fucking horse! She learned how to spot when someone is trying to put pressure on her with no sureness of releasing it. And she also learned how to release herself.

"Keep it." She smiled politely and with ease got rid of the filling pistol, put it onto it's place and simply walked by the man into the shop. She felt energized and confident, but she knew all too well, that this feeling is not gonna last. As soon as she paid and walked out of the shop, she already started to get anxious to walk by the man again. But she could not give into her anxiety. She remained calm and collected, even when her arm ever so slightly brushed beside his leather jacket. She opened the door and sat in the driver's seat and slowly drove out from the gas station.

As she took the corner she glanced out the window. Her hands slightly trembled on the steering wheel. She couldn't make sense of how and from where she gained this much bravery and confidence all of the sudden. Perhaps she changed that much. Perhaps she underestimated herself all along.

She drove to the realtor's office and for the first time ever, met her. The whole sellig ordeal was mostly done through the internet and Carly met her once when she traveled here with Marcus. The chatty realtor was carrying on a conversation almost entirely by herself, while Stella listened staring out of the window. But something got stuck on the gears of her hearing.

"And they wanted to meet you so they will be here in an hour."

Stella froze up and furrowed her brows at the woman. "What?"

And this is how she ended up sitting almost two hours in the realtor's office, waiting for the buyers. She forced her smiles and kind words and compliments. She even had gone along with their idea and drove out to the farm with them. They were full of questions and compliments. She recited her usual niceties and lies. If they wanted to hear a fairytale for the two million dollar they had spent for this place, she will tell whatever story they wanted to hear.

Being in the empty house for the first time was an entirely new experience for her. Carly really did got rid of everything. Everything was bared down, thoroughly cleaned and as far as she could see the walls were painted recently. Even the curtains were removed from every window. The entire house was illuminated by the afternoon's sunlight. It looked really nice for the fresh pair of eyes of an outsider. It looked the same for her as it ever did. Only not just metaphorically empty, but physically too.

*

Work burned under Benny's hands that were covered in oil, dust and grime that was coming from the SUV that he was working on. Other than him only Greg was working in the mechanic shop. Benny never met him before, but he arrived here in the morning as Vince asked, and after a fast handshake and introduction, he never received any comments or side eyes from him, which was a good sign.

He seemed like a dude who minded his own business. He liked that type. They were easy to work with, and he needed money. There wasn't many job opportunities around town he could do. He was a good mechanic but the other car repair shop in town would never hire him. Vince's worn down mechanic shop had seen better days, but it was still running due to decently priced repair services.

Benny had no idea how Vince is gonna pay both him and Greg, while also managing to keep the shop open, and still bring some money home for himself at the end of the day, but at this point even if he took home half of what they did, he would be grateful. No one else would hire a recently released con.

Even through the noise of their tools, the sound of Vince's coughing from the office was apparent. Benny stared towards the office while trying to rub off the grime off his hands with an already dirty piece of cloth. He was driven by concern as he slowly walked back to the office. The coughing had died down a little, but haven't disappeared. He leaned onto the doorway and studied Vince who was sitting in his chair with his back turned towards the door.

As he would have sensed him, he turned the chair around.

"What's up kid?" Vince furrowed his brows.

"Nothin'." Benny said with a quiet mumble, studying Vince's face. As his gaze traveled down towards the desk, he spotted the bloody spots on the handkierchief that Vince was clutching in his hand. "What's up with this cough?" Benny asked glancing down at his own shoes.

Vince's chair creaked under him as he adjusted himself in it.

"Lung cancer." He said with a peaceful tone. "I was diagnosed two years ago, did some chemo...wasn't really for me, so i made them stop. They gave me some pill that i have to take...but something tells me it's just delaying the inevitable."

Benny felt like his throat was in a chokehold.

He wanted to say something, but haven't had the strength nor the ability.

"But...aren't there...surgery or some shit?" Benny asked insecure.

"Not when all of it is fucked kid." Vinced shook his head. "The docs did the best they could. They pumped me full of something that made me puke my guts out. I blacked out several times. Everything i tried to eat tasted like metal. The things i loved eating made my stomach turn. Even tried to drink water, and that too tasted like something out of a nuclear plant. So i made them stop it..." Vince stopped for another short cough. "I decided my fate with all the shit i smoked a long time ago. If i only have a year or two, im not gonna change the way i used to live. It's way too late for making any difference."

Benny heard the defeat in his voice and it made him realize how bad it must be.

Vince saw the despair behind Benny's continous silence and the sadness in his gaze. He stood up from his chair. He crumbled the handkierchief into his pocket and stepped to the boy he watched and helped become a man. "Don't make a drama out of this kid! It's ain't nothing like im gonna kick the bucket tomorrow!" Vince grabbed his shoulder. It was much thicker than he remembered.

"But you gonna go." Benny said with a sad glint in his eyes.

"We all gonna go eventually kid! Most of us will get what we deserve! So you just worry about you and how you live! So...you know...quit the booze and cigarettes and eat your fucking veggies and all!"

Benny didn't felt the smile in his heart but his mouth curled up a bit.

"C'mon. Until the Big Reaper comes...there is work to do!"

*

Stella was held up at a red light in town. She gazed through the windshield but her eyes were hurting. She really did miss those sunglasses. Johnny probably had no idea he held the price of a good night of drinking in his hands. Technically she bought every Vandal at least one round.

She startled in her seat when a fast knock reverberated on the passenger seat window. She barely but still recognized the face of Julia. The corners of her mouth curled up into a small smile as she made the window go down.

"Hi there! I couldn't believe my own eyes." Julia said with a honest laugh.

Stella smiled up at the stop light. "Hop in, i'll take you!"

Julia carefully opened and closed the door of the car and gave her a hug as big as she could in the tight space. "Ahhh it is so nice to see you again! I can't believe it!" She laughed wholeheartedly. "Oh my God, how beautiful you became! I mean...you were always the prettiest girl in town but you know...you became a grown women, truly!"

Stella took the kind compliment with a tight lipped smile.

"How are you? I see you still work at the hospital." Stella glanced at the nurse uniform on the women who had quite a few grey hairs in her hair, but most of it was still as blonde as ever.

"Yes, i do. But im not doing night shifts anymore, thankfully." She said.

Stella stepped on the gas when the lights became green.

She still knew all too well where she was and where Julia wanted to go.

"That's good. All the horrible things happen at night." Stella said.

"Yes they do. I loved doing it you know, but i become more tired and tired, and there is also less and less people in town from year to year, so i leave the raging, wild nights to the younger ones."

Stella's shy smile had honest kindness behind it.

"But what about you? How you doing in the city? I heard something about you or your sister selling the farm or something?!" Julia furrowed her brows with confusion and curiosity.

"Yes. Im selling it. There's not a lot i can do with it. I ain't coming back." Stella said quietly.

"That's good. Don't! There is nothing here. The people who stay here are either getting older and older, die or not yet figured out a way to get out." Julia said with a sigh as Stella turned the corner and slowed down in front of the building where she lived, above her husband's bar.

"How is Lizzie?" Stella did not forgot about their only daughter who went to school two years above her.

"She is good. She is working in the city too. She working as a receptionist i think at a dental office. She changes places way too often for me to follow." Julia sighed tiredly. "Hey, come in! It is warm as hell out here, have a soda!" Julia said with an upbeat, encouraging voice. "Rob would be happy to see you again!"

Doubts and anxiety ran circles around on Stella. She wanted to say no. She wanted to get out of this town before sundown and leave it far behind. But she felt way more guilt about saying no, than urgency to leave. Julia kept her alive so many times at her own detriment and risk of her own job.

"Sure." Stella said with a kind smile, but her jaws and posture were tense.

As she walked in the bar she glanced at the horizon. The sun is gonna be down within half an hour. That's how much time she gave herself to run her polite courtesies to Julia and Robert.

Stella saw Robert behind the bar having a talk with an older gentleman who was sitting there. She counted only five people between the scattered tables. Most of the costumers probably gonna arrive after she left. Older and more sophisticated people had the impulse control and decency, to not to start drinking before the sun went down.

"Huh!" That was all Robert was able to say.

"Right? What a rare bird flew into town?! I convinced her to have a soda and say hi to you." Julia said proudly and walked behind the bar.

"Be my guest princess! What can i get you?" Robert asked smiling.

"A cold soda is fine." Stella said sitting up at a stool.

She listened to what they had to say, she answered their questions but kept the details to herself. She watched the last rays of the sun sneaking through the windows and as the sun's light faded and thinned out, she felt an overwhelming dread creeping up on her spine.

"Im gonna go up and change quickly. Don't disappear on me!" Julia said looking at Stella who followed the waterdrops rolling down on the side of her glass with her black painted nails.

She spent the entire day in her black skinny jeans, a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and black lining. Altough the heat started to die down, she still felt herself sweaty, sleepy and worn down. Her firm and high ponytail probably could've used a good brushing. She no longer could smell the perfume she applied on herself, her feet was sore in her black, studded ankle boots. Her breasts were begging for a release from her bra. She just wanted a shower, a plate of food and some peace and quiet after this day.

She glanced up as Robert walked towards her and stood right in front of her.

"I didn't wanted to tell you this in front of the missus..." Robert stopped and glanced behind above his shoulder. "But Benny Cross was here yesterday, asking about you!"

She felt as her blood got cold in her veins.

"Wha...what do you mean looking for me?" Stella stuttered.

"He came in without his vest. It was a strange sight for sure!" Robert's facial muscles twitched. "He wanted to know if you're alive. He looked...different than i remembered. But again five years is...a lot." Robert said rather to himself than to her.

Stella could not make sense of what he was saying. She knew that Robert's bar wasn't the first and never would be even the last choice for any Vandal to have a drink, but they lived in the same town. Surely Robert would have seen Benny a few times around town.

"What do you mean five years?" Stella furrowed her brows curiously. "You two haven't even seen each other passing around town?"

Robert looked back at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Stella, the guy was in jail in the last five years! He got released yesterday."

Stella felt something heavy falling on her inside.

"Benny was in your house that night. The cops find him there with your father beaten bloody." Robert said with a gentle tone and leaned closer to her. "The kid probably killed him after he saw what he had done to you!" He said with an empathetic tone and gaze.

Stella felt like a tornado grabbed her and flunged her up. Her brain overflooded with confusing thoughts that couldn't make sense of each other. Her breathing hitched and started going awry. Her vocal cords failed to function. She couldn't even swallow from the rock inside her throat.

In the clumsy attempt to stand up from the bar stool, she knocked it over and behind her. The loud thump cut into the laid back silence of the bar. Her legs faltered but she remained standing up and with trembling hands she got a hold of the stool and raised it up into it's place. "Im sorry." She said in a weak voice, barely able to breathe and a weakness was fastly taking over her body. "I...i got...i gotta go." Her voice trembled and she walked to the door with weak legs and walked out to the dark street.

She couldn't open her car door right away.

It took three attempts to get the key into the ignition.

She fought to breathe in the solitude of her car as she droved it through the streets, towards out of town. Everything she knew about the aftermath of that night was what her sister told her. The first time she became conscious in the hospital, Carly was the only person beside her bed. She never even mentioned their father. Nor Benny. Not once. Stella just assumed Benny was already done and through with her, and her father the same. She assumed, he gave her all the beating she could take and was done with her and it all!

She remembered some of that night all too clearly. She went to visit Benny for the last time before she would go back to college. They had a little bit of fight a few nights ago and she wanted to give him and herself time to cool down. She wasn't expecting a plus one at Benny's house. A fully naked blonde girl with messed up hair in his kitchen, holding two beer bottles and turning towards her with a shameless but surprised face when she stepped in the door without a knock. Benny walked forward, without shamed and fully naked as well.

Stella back then settled and ended every single situation that humiliated her with one simple word – Nice! She nodded, turned around and walked out with that, and the bitter taste of shame, disappointment, sadness and anger.

She went through a short but heavy phased of crying on the road towards home. But she quickly put that ghost back into the bottle and put the lid on it. By the look of all the lights out upstairs and all the lights on downstairs she still had to go through one round with her father.

She didn't even properly stepped into the house and closed the door, when the first hit took her straight off her feet. Her father got wind of her having an affair with a Vandal. And he definitely not liked it! He unloaded all his anger on her. And he had a lot of it! She was too weak in every sense of the word to defend herself or to run away. She still haven't woken up from what she saw at Benny's house and her father already started to beat her into oblivion.

To this day she still remembers the hit that apparently, according to the doctors broke her ribs. It was probably more of a kick than a hit. That was the last time she heard her own scream that night. After it shortly came another hit that made her feel like she inhaled water up to her nose. It was probably dealt on her head, because after that she felt the lights go out in her head and she could not remember anything from that night for almost a month. Even when she was awake and off the heavier painkillers, she still had trouble remembering things for a while.

She occupied her then pregnant sisters guest room for more than three months until she was fully recovered from the physical injuries. Still, her sister never even mentioned their father, Benny or what is with them. Not even mentioning if Benny came to see her at the hospital. Even if just to see if she's alive. She forbaded Stella to ever go back to that town and refused to talk or answer questions about anything that had to do with it.

Almost half a year went by since that night when Carly came to the apartment she was renting and sat down to talk about their father's passing away. She stated she wants to cremate him and dump his ashes somewhere it deserves to be dumped. Her suggestion was a junkyard. Stella still didn't know what to do or say, how to react so she nodded and went along with her sister's wishes and kept focusing finishing her time in college.

She had no intentions of mourning her father or even go to a funeral. When Carly a few weeks later came back, saying it is over and done with. No burial plot for him. Only the farm was left behind to be dealt with, but according to the lawyers, it was left to Stella, along with their father's collected wealth. Stella sent half of their father's money to her sisters bank account, even though she wanted none of it, she now had a child to care for.

Stella went to therapy, worked part time jobs alongside college to reintegrate herself socially but she remained focused on her mental health. She met Lydia at her therapists office where she had gone to therapy. They became friends and later they became partners and opened the store.

She never thought of going back to the town. She had no reason left. As far as she was concerned, the last time she saw him, he made it very clear that he will live his life just the same after she goes back to college, than before she came to town. She had nothing to do with him anymore and he certainly didn't wanted to do anything with her anymore.

Carly made quite a big tower out of lies and misinformation. Making her believe that their father was still alive after that night. Leaving her in the false conviction that Benny remained in his house that night and never tried to reach out to her again. And she was stupid, naive and content to never question anything that her sister said. All the while Benny rotted in jail and she didn't even suspected it, because she had no reason to.

A sob escaped Stella's mouth and echoed in the silent car.

A loud popping sound broke through the silence and the steering wheel jumped and rattled hard within her fingers. She instinctively grabbed it as hard as she could, yet the steering fought her hard. She took her foot off the gas instantly and her heart almost thumped out of her chest as the car started to spin lightly but definitely. She was holding onto the wheel, try to regain some control.

Then the car stopped and the few seconds that felt like forever, ended.

She glanced out through the window.

She was at the edge of the town, with forested area on both sides.

It could have been worse. At least the car remained standing and not on it's sides. She wasn't an expert of machines, but she was sure a flat caused this. She opened the door and walked around the car to look at the tires. Sure it was a flat. On the front left tire. She never learned to change tires or even windshield cleaning fluid. But she sure learned how to call and pay triple A.

She put out the warning lights and grabbed her backpack out of the car. A quick phone call with a complete and total stranger was able to calm her down a little. The guy on the other end of the line said it will take almost an hour to get there. She reassured him that she will not be going anywhere.

"Out of all the nights..."

Stella turned her face towards the sky. The crickets and toads were the only noise in the darkness. She glanced down at the dark road. Every few feet a lamp post was lighting patches onto the concrete. She felt the early summer night's cool air on her naked forearms. She found a minute of peacefulness in this unusual situation, but her emotions broke through it, heavy and fast.

She wanted to call her sister. Right now. Yell at her. Curse at her. Humiliate and make a fool of her, as she did one out of her. She knew it wouldn't be the right time and the right way to go about it. And she knew she would say things that she later would regret but would not be able to take back and act like it never happened. That was her sister's way of doing things.

She let her hair down from the firm ponytail that had became painful, and steadied herself to remain awake and sane on her feet. She had no idea how long she scrolled her phone meaninglessly, when she spotted a single spotlight taking the corner in the distance. Blood ran cold in her veins when she actually realised - it is a bike. She anxiously walked to the opposite side of her car, hoping to put something between herself and the biker passing by.

She felt as one billiard ball settled into her stomach and one in her throat, when the bike started to slow down, getting closer and so louder. The light was too blinding for her to catch a glimpse of who was sitting on it. She felt her nails cutting into the palm of her hand, as she made a closed fist out of her fingers beside herself. Her left hand was clutching onto the strap of her backpack. Her heart fluttered and every ounce of aír got stuck in her lungs, when the bike stoppe and she recognized the rider.

It was Benny.

She couldn't breathe when they find each other's eyes for the first time after five years. And then she looked away nervously. She couldn't do this! She wasn't able to! She didn't have the strength! She was not sure if she ever will have it. Robert's words still played on repeat in her mind – killed him, jail, five years, released yesterday.

Stella heard the engine of the bike rattle a bit, then the engine and light was shut off. The metallic rattling let her know that the kickstand took the bike's massive weight. From the corner of her eye, she saw Benny dismount off the bike.

She felt overwhelmed. She had to force herself to take a slow and deep breath through her nose. She pushed her black painted nails further into her palm so far it was painful. The pain reminded her – fake it till' you make it. It didn't mattered if she didn't felt brave, if she didn't felt confident. It wasn't written on her forehead! She had to act the part to sell it. She felt the need to save face! Because she felt like a massive idiot and she was a massive idiot, who believed the things her sister told her, instead of looking for answers herself.

Benny couldn't believe his chances. He stood up from the bike and walked on the opposite side of the car from her. He felt cheated by his own memories. Betrayed by his own mind. She was much more beautiful than he remembered. Her face was just...mesmerizing. But he couldn't overlook her obviously disturbed emotions which all sat on her tensed up face.

"Hi, Stella."

She felt like his voice alone was threatening to collapse her false confidence, like a violent earthquake testing a flimsy little building. He only said two words, but she already recognized the difference - his voice was deeper than it used to be. After all these years, after everything, she was still completely attuned to him.

"Hi." She forced it through her teeth. "Th-thanks for stopping but i already called triple A so..." Stella wanted back the real confidence she had dealing with Johnny earlier today. That's what she wanted as her armour and shield! Standing unbothered in front of a man who would kill her just for shits and giggles. And now she stands on weak legs, insecure, vulnerable and scared. In front of Benny, who she used to run to for safety.

"You're all right though?!" He asked with a concerned look and glanced down at the flat tire. She must have been driving at quite the speed for it to be in this condition. Benny studied the road towards the direction he was coming from and the headlights of the Porsche showed the braking marks on the concrete. "Quite the spin you had!" Benny said with peaceful patience and lifted his arms onto the roof of the car, crossing his fingers. As he studied her face, he realized that her hair is way longer than it used to be. A few more inches and it would have reached her hips. He cracked his fingers as he wrestled with the want of running them through her hair.

Stella felt like a mute. She just shrugged her shoulders. She was not all right! At all. She wanted him to disappear! To go on where he was heading to and leave her here with all of her misery. She wanted a release from under his influence. He didn't even had to be close to her or do anything, she felt overwhelmed by his sheer presence alone. Even after all these years, even after how things have ended between them, he still had too strong of a grip on her.

He studied her clothes. What he could see from this angle. She used to wear a lot of dresses with all sorts of prints, pleated skirts with printed shirts. He remembered all of the collared sweaters and cardigans she wore during the summer. It often made him question her sanity in the first few days of knowing her. Wearing warm clothes and black thights under her skirts and dresses in the scolding summer heat of California. It made sense after he noticed her bruises. She hid them with pretty, layered clothing. She used to wear ballerinas and oxford shoes. After she became a regular on his bike, started to wear jeans and shorts with sneakers and ankle boots.

Now she wore a pair of tight black jeans and a white shirt with rolled up sleeves. He glanced at her hand that kept a tight grip on her backpack straps. Her nails looked long and black. She wore some rings as well. Benny watched her face with more focus. She was purposefully looking anywhere but him. When he arrived she walked to the other side of the car. She used to do this when she felt afraid or insecure. Putting distance and obstacles between herself and people. But she never used to do this with him. Benny swallowed hard. Maybe she is afraid of him?!

"I heard someone bought the farm." Benny remained polite and patient while feeling a desperate need to get her talking, to hear her voice, to get her to look at him, to get her to react to him in any other way than distant. He wanted to see her eyes that he was always able to read so well. He searched for an ounce of warmth still left in her to give him. He felt like a man freezing to death hoping for a spark to make a fire.

"Yeah." Stella said firm and tight. She thought she will never see him again, but she never would have expected her own reaction being this. She was frustrated in a completely different way than she used to be around him. Back then she was frustrated all kinds of sexual ways. Now she feels this insoluble stress out of anger, disappointment, guilt and sadness. And she doesn't know how to deal with it, let alone how to mask it in the presence of him.

Benny wasn't surprised she doesn't want to talk about that and he should have known better to try to get her to talk to him opening with that. But he didn't know what he's supposed to say. So many things have changed. He changed. Maybe she changed too. But he still felt an overwhelming care, love and desire towards her. He continously cracked his fingers on the top of the car out of frustration. He still not dared to move, because he didn't wanted to stress her even further than she already seemed to be.

They both felt the stalemate they were standing in. Neither of them knew, who they would be talking to if they started. They only knew each other in the past. And that is gone.

Between Stella's overwhelming emotions, one was louder than the rest. It was confusion. That was what fueled all of it – the anger, the sadness, the guilt. Confusion birthed it all and it would not let her ignore it! She didn't wanted to feel like this.

Like a river flowed in it's natural direction and couldn't do otherwise even if it tried, she couldn't remain disinterested, cold and distant towards Benny. She could do it to anyone and everyone! But not to him.

She swallowed hard. Her fingers opened up from her closed fist. The blood started to rush back at her fingers with a tingling sensation. "I ha-have talked to Robert and he said something i...i don't understand." At first she had trouble finding her own voice and words.

"Hmmm." Benny hummed quietly but audibly. His full attention was on her.

"He said...you were at my house that...the night my father died." Stella still stuttered lightly.

"I was." Benny said with a calm but firm tone.

Stella's instincts were blazing red and blasting loud to push this matter until she gets to the truth. She wasn't sure that's what she wanted, but she was absolutely sure that was what she needed to hear to be able to breathe again. And the only person left for her to be able to trust, was Benny.

"Did you kill him?" Stella's voice was barely audible, but Benny had no problem hearing it clearly. All of his senses were sharpened to receive anything that came from her direction. He was aware of the fact that ever since he arrived, she barely was able to breathe. He knew that feeling well. That is how he felt ever since that night that the cops took him, without telling him if she was still alive or not.

"I did."

Stella's throat dried into a desert. A bitter taste appeared in her mouth. But she was able to breathe again. Oxygen rushed to her brain that was starving of it becaused of her so far laboured breathing. She didn't felt like crying at all. She felt liberated. But not for long. She still felt angry. She still felt guilty. She took a step back from her car, towards the dark trees beside the road. She couldn't face Benny.

Benny felt as his own heart has been stepped on. He lightly pushed himself away from the car while Stella's back was still turned towards him. He didn't wanted to startle her, so he stopped with his back leaning against Stella's side of the car.

Stella sensed the fact that he moved somewhat closer to her. He took her previously occupied place on this side of the car. He felt clueless about what to do or say. He kept cracking his knucles and nervously looking left and right. Stella just now noticed a little detail about his appearance – he wasn't wearing his club's vest and patches.

"Im sorry!" These were the words that came to Stella first.

Benny glanced at her curiously. "About what?"

"All...all of it." She said shrugging her shoulders and lifting her arms a little out of confusion. "For that night...for..." Stella couldn't even finish because she didn't know what to say. "But you know that i never asked such things...of you and i would...i would never ask you to..."

"I know." Benny nodded. "And you'd never have to!" He added quietly.

"I've never wanted this to happen. Any of it...what happened to you!"

A big and heavy sigh erupted from her as she tried to chase away the need to cry. Benny stepped away from the car, but he only took one big step. His hands instantly found their place on Stella's waist and then on her back, pulling her body onto his. And she could not resist. Her head found it's place between his chest and shoulder. She smelled engine oil, dust, sweat, cigarettes and something that resembled body wash or deodorant in a much earlier hour of the day. But most of all, she smelled something unexplainable, but only clearly and instinctively identifiable to her as Benny. Safety and comfort instantly took over and put he rinto a weakened state. Her hands found their way onto the back of Benny's t-shirt and clutched it hard.

A pair of lights illuminated them as a car was approaching on the road.

Stella felt like the real world hit her right out of the pleasant memories of the past. She retreated her hands off of Benny's back and took two steps backwards, and turned towards her car.

The man looked at her behind the truck's rolled down window.

"Are you Stella?" He asked with a tired frown.

"Yes. I called." Stella nodded.

"Okay. You said you've got a spare?!"

"Yes. As much as im aware. I never had to use it." Stella said insecure.

She nervously glanced between the man and Benny who had absolutely no intentions of changing Stella's tires. The sooner she has the new on, the sooner she will disappear from his sight, again. Benny softly grabbed Stellas upper arm, to lead her away from the ears of the working man.

"What do you mean by talking to Robert?" Benny asked with fiery eyes but on a calm and composed tone.

"That i talked with Robert." Stella said plainly.

"No, not that...i mean...you said it like you had no idea that i was in your house that night!" Benny said, just as confused as Stella was a few minutes ago.

"Because i didn't know!"

"No one told you what went down that night? I mean...your sister?!"

Stella swallowed hard.

"No. She didn't say anything about it." She said quietly with remorse.

Benny glanced at the guy who was almost ready with Stella's tires.

"They didn't even tell me if you were all right or not! Benny said defeated.

Stella scoffed.

She couldn't deal with it all right now.

"I...i need to go!" She said confused and directionless, but only when she wanted to move, she realized that he is still holding onto her arm.

"Please don't go!" Benny asked with a broken and defeated tone.

"Please just...let go, i need to go!" Stella desperately clawed his off of her arm and walked towards her finished car. It hurt her so much. Everything hurt so much. To see him, to hear his voice, to have his hand on her again. To be here with him, to not to stay with him. She signed the paper for the man, paid him, hopped into the car and just drove. She hoped the pain will disappear by the time she arrived back at the apartment.