#just jotting it down somewhere

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

dear future me, Please remember to write the metamorphosis fic and title it ~✨the yassification of howdy pillar✨~

[friend-dogor]

there's a song i heard once, while showering, in 2019, on a music application i no longer use, which was streaming out songs at random. It had a really strong, thumping rhythm. i think it was fast enough you coulda done CPR to it, or maybe just slightly slower. all i remember of the lyrics was that it said once, or perhaps several times "on a row-boat" thump thump thump thump thump (👈 the quick rhythm). it had that kind of alt, indie, folksy feeling to it that a lot of music i listened to then (and now) had. sorta like Blitzen Trapper

when i heard it in the shower i had that odd sort of "i don't like this song now, but if i hear it again i'll probably start to like it" feeling that happens to me fairly frequently. i made a note to myself to look at the recently played songs on the application, and write that one down, and to listen to it again because why not enjoy music! why not!

well, i was showering to get ready for class. i left. i forgot to check. the song has vanished into the cracks of digital algorithms that have probably been replaced and retooled several times over by this point. as i remember it, i start remembering my memory of it, recalling not the original listening of it, but my recollection of recalling remembering listening to it, and the fragment of song i have, no matter how small, gets more distorted, gently warped to accommodate my musical taste (which is itself, impermanent, ever-changing) more and more over time.

THIS is only notable because every time i tell friends and family about this song, the reaction is nearly unanimously "oh, let me try finding it" and various music apps are searched for any song mentioning a row boat in any capacity. a few months ago, i told my family, and we spent an hour after dinner where everyone took turns playing songs which mentioned row boats (some very good) while i listened for a moment before saying, over and over "no—it Thumps. the song Thumps."

and it has occurred to me that at some point, the song will be lost to me entirely (which is not a huge loss! i did not like the song Yet. i only felt the potential to like it, the same way I feel about New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down by LCD Soundsystem) either because i have forgotten it entirely, or because my memory has created a new song which i like a little more, but which has never existed, so that if somebody ever properly found the song and played it for me, or I came across it myself, i might only passingly consider its familiarity before dismissing it as pale imitation, perhaps inspired by the Definitely much better song i am looking for (which does not fully exist, even in my own head.)

[kbius6]

TEN year anniversary for the Tokyo Ghoul anime has me dead. TEN YEARS?!?! REALLY?!?!?! IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS?!?!?!

This was the first manga I ever read start to finish(and reading it made me kind of hate the anime lol(I don't hate it, but it deserved better). The fact that it's turning 10 just absolutely boggles my mind. I was going through so much at that time, grandpa dying from cancer, being in the closet and terrified to even admit it to myself(pan & proud 🩷💛💙) my depression coming back in FULL swing and then some, and on top of it finally being a teenager(14 in September 2014). It's always gonna have a special place in my heart. It helped me get through so much, and honestly it's probably what really kicked off my love Japanese metal/rock music(I know Unravel is just a meme at this point but TK's music fucking slaps)

[indigodawns]

.

[nomiyakazehaya]

random au idea where megatron is a walking wasteland (literally based on that same trope) because of his antimatter

what's the reasoning behind this au? solely an excuse to see a horrendously depressed, melancholic, and sad despairing megatron who's a victim of her own circumstances. that, and some musical brainworms but we don't talk about the brainworms i just love the idea of such a sweet and gentle megatron progressively growing so solemn and despondent, and actively having to avoid people and isolating herself or even going as far as self imprisonment so much as to not bring harm to others

[flebus]

u can tell that im really in a creative rut bc i just keep like getting visions of blorbos long since past and chasing the inkling of motivation it gives me to draw them at work for five days before i move on to something else 😭😭

[sweet-beezus]

Finished a sketch of Billy I made the other day and totally forgot to post it, anyway poor fella's going through it-

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

[loverofallthingssmart]

genius idea guys. food critic tam and head chef/restaurant owner keefe.

[knighteclipsed]

meta 01. ...concerning invulnerability and related topics (like romance, i guess)

(Inspired, in part, by that one headcanons prompt about what a muse looks for in a partner.)

Preface: An older meta of mine from around October of ‘23, it’s been reworked a few times over before finally reaching completion. Though initially inspired by the topic of romantic relations, one could reasonably draw the line connecting Valter’s aversion to the thing as one related, at least in part, to his ‘unkillable complex’ and his constant need to be better than everyone else.

01. strength and weakness

social /ˈsōSH(ə)l/ – adj – (2) needing companionship and therefore best suited to living in communities. (Oxford Dictionary)

One of the main aspects of Valter’s character (and the thing that informs a lot of his decisions and his worldview) is the concept of strength (to be strong and capable in comparison to others); and further, that of weakness (when you are deprived of that capability, or when you never had it at all). He’s always had this view that power matters above all else; that even if morally people do not accept you, if you are simply strong enough, they will not have a choice.

Which is an idea that stems from his youth—a youth in which Valter was never very kind. (Here, I harken back to Duessel’s A-Support with Cormag where he states that Valter was not “a gentle lamb before [the cursed lance incident.]”) He has always been sharp, hostile, antagonistic—from a family of hunters, this served him well.

It was not a mindset with so much utility in social situations, however.

Strength was all that mattered—that power was the make or break, that the only true aim to strive for was growing stronger—and what better way to learn how to kill than to simply do so? (To kill was a competition, and he was very fond of winning.)

Unfortunate, considering most people actually like not having to worry about a war. Or losing things. Or losing people. (It was an isolating factor; not that he minded much.)

Except he grew older, and where that isolation previously had no bearing on him, it was suddenly something that he felt keenly—no longer could it simply be ignored. If he wished to affiliate with others, a shift in character would be necessary: from one of violence to temperance, from hostility to ease; from constant intimidation to a willingness to be vulnerable.

Vulnerable, so it is said. What a terrible thing to be.

02. walls

vulnerable /ˈvəlnər(ə)bəl/ – adj – (1) susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. (Oxford Dictionary)

So the choice is laid bare: does Valter remain a social outsider in the pursuit of his wants and desires; or does he choose weakness and run the chance of being harmed? (It isn’t a choice to him—not really. After all, the most important thing is strength.)

Isolation it is then.

And in turn, he devoted himself to the cultivation of his prowess—social interactions were limited to that (and perhaps meal times, especially in his early army days). If anyone tried to approach, he would only put up walls—to grow close is to grow vulnerable, and to grow vulnerable is to grow weak. (And weakness is the worst thing he could ever develop.)

Then comes the title of Moonstone—the ultimate recognition of all that he’d built, that title: Moonstone of the Imperial Three. (And titles only truly hold weight in the context of social interactions—imagine, that blend: physical prowess known and solidified by words.) Though Valter was always sharp, hostile, antagonistic—at no point did he ever break his vows. (If he had, that title would never have reached him; he wouldn’t have remained long enough to receive it.)

I will say: he developed a liking towards the emperor for that—and though I cannot claim he was entirely too close to the rest of the Imperial Three, it was certainly easier to get along with them. (After all, they three were strong, and they were recognized for it.) At the very minimum, they were the closest he ever got to having proper friends.

Of course, then comes exile—and suddenly everything social is lost. His ‘friends,’ allies, associates, homeland—stolen from him by mere words; ironic, in a way. It is two years, then, that pass.

03. reinforcement

isolate /ˈīsəˌlāt/ – vb – (1) cause (a person or place) to be or remain alone or apart from others. (Oxford Dictionary)

So what does he learn from all this? That his worldview was flawed? That morality trumps might? That you probably shouldn’t commit war crimes?

No. None of that. (This is Valter we are speaking of, recall?)

Though I will say that may have been a possibility—had he not been reinstated. Though his mental well-being went on a violent downward spiral during those years of isolation, he… had some capacity for change (though I doubt that exists anymore). Prior to it all, his perspective was that strength was above all, and even if you were not accepted morally, if you were simply strong enough, then it didn’t matter; you would have your place. Exile was the greatest upset—because how much stronger could he be? (And yet, he lost his place—because strength was not all.)

And then he was reinstated—because he was strong.

People had failed him; the moment he had let his guard down just a bit (just around the time he was finally acclimating to a social environment), everything he’d ever had was lost, and what was it that redeemed him? The Imperial Three were weak—Duessel, Glen, and Selena—but with his help, that was overcome. Power secured his future with more determination than any past relations; thus, his old worldview is cemented.

Because what were people good for other than to be used and discarded? (Or even the other way—after all, he discarded of Glen and then used him to manipulate Cormag; none of it is new. He has no friends.)

And that worldview follows him even until now—though there are some breaks that I’d like to explain in future metas, he doesn’t actively seek out friends. When Deirdre approached him all friendly and such during KKE last January, he was wholly opposed to the prospect; Vergil’s Kurth as a supposed partner irked him beyond belief; the closest thing he has to a friend here is Maria, and… well, he doesn’t consciously think of her that way—she is not as a friend, in his eyes, but a positive associate at best.

What matters most, after all, is being powerful; invulnerable; impossible to beat.

04. closing

romance /rōˈmans,ˈrōˌmans/ – n – (1; sub-1) love, especially when sentimental or idealized. (Oxford Dictionary)

Such concludes my first Valter meta post! I realize this is quite the read so thanks for dropping by and listening to my ramblings haha. A lot of this is, of course, built on my own conjecture and what I think is interesting for him narratively—there is only so much that can be gleaned from a villain guy who isn’t the main antagonist and sort of has very few canonically emphasized traits if you know what I mean.

I suppose that, while I’m here, I may as well answer the original prompt again: in clear, concise terms, since my initial response was broken up into multiple messages.

Valter is not of the crowd looking for romance—not because he’s aromantic (because he isn’t; he’s on the spectrum but is not entirely aro), but rather because a proper relationship asks more of him than he is quite frankly willing to give. Also he thinks he’s aromantic (this is a man who’s seen himself as an outsider for years—including his teenage ones; not liking anyone just makes sense to him). Worst case scenario he does it to manipulate the other person, but like… we’re not going there. Haha.

If those walls ever did miraculously crumble and/or weaken though, he’d probably end up falling for someone he feels he can rely on—think demiromanticism (since that’s approximately what he experiences). It is only after he grows close to a person that romantic feelings have the chance to develop. There is no shortcutting (though ‘growing close’ may or may not look positive from the outside).

With that said: thank you again for your time! Farewell and good timezone.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

The Billions Showrunners Go To See Bway Bmc like lgw "the problem has always been me" and they look at each other approvingly and nod like now he's getting it :) and then the squip's deactivated and everyone's embracing the realities of being a person and rejecting the idea there can be, should be, and is a set of standards to meet to get everything you want and preclude yourself from being mistreated and they're like nooo what a powerful tragedy :(

[saltybiowarefantears]

Any of you ever have those moments of "Damn, that would've been a great sentence if my fan fic hadn't been dead for, hmmm, ten years."

[lesbienneanarchiste]

I'm basically an influencer now bc after 2.5 years of watching me use mine, my mom has finally started a book/reading journal 💅

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Wed morning thoughts-- kids develop language which is different from learning language

(this is un-nuanced but I don’t... actually think that’s just semantics... kids do learn from listening and interactions but it’s not.... instructive? if that makes sense. I think approaching language development as solely learning makes it both too academic and gives it too much of a behavioral lens)  

[epickiya722]

I hate that I thought of an awesome horror fic I could write, but I already have one in the works that I should finish first 🥲

[deanthe]

I will never say Splatoon 3 is a dissapointment, because it is far from that. Sure, there are some weird design choices that I don't really agree with, but it's such an improvement from the previous two overall. however, there's one feature that the developers teased since the very beginning that makes me feel, for lack of a better word. Cheated.

Shortly after the Splatoon 3 announcement trailer went live at the end of Febuary 2021's Nintendo Direct, the official SplatoonJP Twitter account posted various bits of information that weren't brought up during said Direct. One thing that stuck out in my mind was what they said about stages; the SRL said that the Inklings and Octolings would be fighting in the wilderness now. I, personally, was SO flipping excited.

Many, MANY people, however, weren't as pleased as I was upon reading this, predicting that all of the new stages were going to be a complete snoozefest in the aesthetics department, which. Does not make sense to me. Like, at all. Infact, once September of that same year rolled around, everyone breathed a sigh of relief upon spotting that two stages in the city were returning. Flash forward to 2022-23 and we've gotten stages primarily set in a city/town environment. The "fighting out in the wild" idea was SUCH a missed opportunity and, slightly contradicting what I said at the start of this post, I still feel incredibly dissapointed they kinda forgot about this idea.

So...why exactly do *I* think this would've been a great idea?

Getting this one out of the way, it would've added onto the many things that make this game stick out compared to its predecessors.

If the lore of the city is as interesting as it is now, imagine how many more details we could get about the outskirts of town.

...Yeah, that's about it. HOWEVER, here's my counter-argument to the "it would've been boring" take, using one of my favorite games ever, Super Mario Sunshine, as an example. Every single playable location in Super Mario Sunshine takes place on a tropical island setting. Every single area. To those who've never seen or played the game, most would say it sounds kinda boring. Let's take a gander at the areas in question.

An airstrip with waterpumps and crates scattered about, with a tall airport building scraping the sky.

A grassy windmill village separated into two halves with one large windmill putting it all together.

A harbor littered with colorful boats, grates, and buildings, the district area even putting together a seafood market.

An oceanside with a spire of light and a smoothie bar.

An amusement park with cartoony boat rides and ferris wheels.

A bay with large cliff faces engraved with massive shell statues and historic runes

A haunted hotel that, despite being cramped and small, has a massive labyrinth of rooms connected in very specific ways.

A festival loving exotic village above a deep chasm held together with massive trees.

All of which are interconnected via a humble town filled with fruitstands, shop buildings, fountains, boats, statues, and a massive shrine in the center.

Did I mention that, in every single one of these areas, you can spot the other levels in the background?

Splatoon already has something similar, albeit slightly more linear. You can spot some stage geometry in the background of a few stages, as well as every stage having its own unique lore. C'mon, the lord of the lake? It also has a similar idea of taking one general setting and ripping it up into seperate pieces. Every stage is in a city, but each location in the city is very unique. A warehouse, a parking garage, a port, a depot, a garbage dump, a shopping mall, a skatepark, a grocery store, I could go on. So, tell me...why would this idea suddenly be boring if the same was done with a more earthy, wilderness-like setting?

As of writing this post, Splatoon 3 is still getting updates, adding new stages and the like. So far, the only stages we've seen outside a city/town setting are Scorch Gorge, and a currently unnamed desert ruins stage, both of which still having some form of connection to city life.

I'm really hoping we get more stages with the wilderness idea in mind. I cannot express just how much of a missed opportunity this is.